text: And now its time for Ukulele Karaoke with Bob. The part of the show when Bob comes out & sings an Ukulele Karaoke
  Uh, whats going on?
  Youre doing the Ukulele Karaoke, no?
  No, Im on break. This is the Pirates...
  They are busy with the rest of the show
  B-But I dont know the song
  Youre lyrics, monsieur. Bring in the props!
  But-
  Wakiki!
  Your island breeze, monsieur!
  Hold on a sec! Im totally unprepared to do a solo!
  Your back-up singers
  Huh? Isnt that the-
  Oui, they are the Wiggly Turtle Tubies!
  The Wiggly Turtle Tubies? They look taller on TV
  So do you, tomato!
  But really, this is Larrys gig! I cant just--
  The show must go on, monsieur! Quick, that is your que! Just follow the lyrics
  But...
  Lance the Turtle! Aloha, Lance! Lance the Turtle, dance-dance-dance!
  Lance the Turtle! Aloha, Lance! Lance the Turtle, dance-dance-dance!
  Well, I keep a little turtle at my Uncle & my Aunts
  My aunties name is Myrtle, & my island turtles name is Lance
  He doesnt wander far, even if he gets the chance
  He just plays his ukulele & he does the hula dance!
  What?
  Lance the Turtle! Aloha, Lance! Lance the Turtle, dance-dance-dance!
  Lance the Turtle! Aloha, Lance! Lance the Turtle, dance-dance-dance!
  He threw a luau barbecue one breezy summer night
  Invited all his turtle friends to come & have a wiki bite
  The turtles started walking there as Lance began to swing
  The one who lived across the street arrived there in the Spring!
  Oh, I get it! Turtles are slow, so it took him a long time. Thats pretty good
  Lance the Turtle! Aloha, Lance! Lance the Turtle, dance-dance-dance!
  But Lance just kept on cooking, he was grilling full of glee!
  He was marinating ribs cause he liked-
  Syrup with his feta cheese?
  I-Im sorry, I-
  Lances purple turtle shell has ketchup if you please
  Pineapples are shiny!
  Spotted tiki bumblebees?!
  Oh, man!
  Lance the Turtle! Aloha, Lance! Lance the Turtle, dance-dance-dance!
  Wait a minute, guys. I dont think this is right. It doesnt make any sense!
  It works for us! Ha-ha!
  But-
  The song! The song!
  There are luscious chocolate fingers, swimming slowly in the school
  Mele Kalikimaka
  Fluffy bunnies driving in the pool! Uh, Larry?!
  Thousand igloos wax the beach, spray luggage in the trees!
  Raining puppies, flying clowns
  Flossing punahele-
  Ow! Oh, forget it
  Lance the Turtle! Aloha, Lance! Lance the Turtle, dance-dance-dance!
  Lance the Turtle! Aloha, Lance! Lance the Turtle, dance-dance-dance!
  This has been Ukulele Karaoke with Bob. Tune in next time to here Bob say
  Ill be in my dressing room