text: One day while he was waiting for the trolley, he had a hat
  My high silk hat
  He wore it high upon his head so proudly, a beautiful hat
  My high silk hat
  A hat like this just makes him feel so grandly
  Now fancy this and fancy that
  The splendor of his hat in all its majesty
  Like a king in a royal cap
  I feel so swell and handsome in my hat
  I bet that others wish they had in fact
  A hat as this, a hat as that, a hat so fine, a high silk hat
  Oh Mr. Art Bigotti, now what do you think of that?
  Now his hat was not all he wore so proudly
  I must in fact share more than that
  For upon his lap there sat a treat so fondly
  Of chocolate this and chocolate that
  Deliciousness that makes him feel so dandy
  A chocolate bliss, a chocolate snack
  Confections such as these are more than candy
  Somewhat like life, a box of that
  I have my chocolate placed upon my lap
  I feel so good, you just cannot top that
  I have my snack, a chocolate pack, of chocolate this and chocolate that
  Oh golly Mr Nezzer, now what do you think of that?
  Now time was passing and the sun grew hotter
  Upon his hat and his chocolate snack
  So beneath his hat he thought and pondered
  What should I do to save my hat?
  He thought and contemplated as he perspired
  Beneath his hat, upon his lap
  He feared his chocolate treats would soon retire
  Into a pool a chocolate vat
  I wont feel grand if I take off my hat
  The suns getting hot and my hat just might go flat
  My hat, it might go flat, and my sweets will melt like that
  Oh, hurry Mr Trolley before my dapperness goes flat
  He decided to fore go his looks so dashing
  To save his hat and little snack
  So he placed the treats upon the seat beside him
  And put his hat on top of that
  Oh please! Oh please, oh please!
  Dont anybody sit close to me, upon my hat
  I ask, if all of you could be so kindly
  And just stand back, away from my snack
  A great big squash just sat upon my hat
  A great big squash just squished my hat real flat
  He squashed my hat, he made it flat
  He squished my snack, oh what of that?
  Oh tell me anybody, now what do you think of that?
  A great big squash just sat upon his hat
  A great big enormous squash squished his hat real flat
  He squashed his hat, he made it flat
  He squished his snack, oh what of that?
  Oh golly, uh, whats your name?
  Theyve never given me a name
  I have been around since show one and I still dont have a name
  Now what do you think of that?