text: And now its time for silly songs with Larry
  The part of the show where Larry comes out and sings a silly song
  Joining Larry are Pa Grape and Mister Lunt, who together, make up the infamous gang of scallywags The Pirates Who Dont Do Anything
  We are the pirates who dont do anything
  We just stay at home and lie around
  And if you ask us to do anything
  Well just tell you we dont do anything
  Well, Ive never been to Greenland
  And Ive never been to Denver
  And Ive never buried treasure in St. Louie or St. Paul
  And Ive never been to Moscow
  And Ive never been to Tampa
  And Ive never been to Boston in the fall
  Cause were the pirates who dont do anything
  We just stay at home and lie around
  And if you ask us to do anything
  Well just tell you we dont do anything
  And I never hoist the mainstay
  And I never swab the poop deck
  And I never veer to starboard
  Cause I never sail at all
  And Ive never walked the gangplank
  And Ive never owned a parrot
  And Ive never been to Boston in the fall
  Cause were the pirates who dont do anything
  We just stay at home and lie around
  And if you ask us to do anything
  Well just tell you we dont do anything
  Well, Ive never plucked a rooster
  And Im not too good at ping pong
  And Ive never thrown my mashed potatoes
  Up against the wall
  And Ive never kissed a chipmunk
  And Ive never gotten head lice
  And Ive never been to Boston in the fall
  Huh? What are you talking about? What does a rooster or mashed potatoes have to do with being a pirate?
  And whos ever kissed a chipmunk? Thats just nonsense, why even bring it up? Am I right? What do you think?
  Huh? No I dont
  Do not
  Thats it, youre walking the plank
  Says the Captain
  Arrrgh
  And Ive never licked a spark plug
  And Ive never sniffed a stinkbug
  And Ive never painted daisies
  On a big red rubber ball
  And Ive never bathed in yogurt
  And I dont look good in leggings
   And weve never been to Boston in the fall
  Pa: Pass the chips! Who’s got the remote?
  Larry: Here it is!
  Lunt: Time for Geraldo!
  Pa: It’s definitely time for Wapner
  Lunt: Oh, I don’t like this show
  Larry: Hey, look! I found a quarter!