Non-SpongeBob Dialogue,SpongeBob Response
"Mrs. Puff:  Now, SpongeBob, what is the proper procedure for making a right turn?","Hold on, I'll check the textbook.  Ah, Your Mirror and You. Hmm, proper seat belt hygiene? No."
Mrs. Puff: Assuming crash position. Mrs. Puff:  We didn't crash!,"Hooray! Mrs. Puff! Oh, there you are.  I'll make it up to you, Mrs. Puff. I'll shine your shoes!  Dry your hair!  Oil your boat?"
"Mrs. Puff:  SpongeBob, stop it! ENOUGH!  Well, you could clean up all this junk. I've been tossing stuff in this old lighthouse for 20 years!",I love cleaning!
"Mrs. Puff:  Uh-huh, glad to hear it. I'll be in my classroom.  Oh, and if you need me...  ...don't.","That takes care of that.  Yuck. This place needs a good scrub. Ah, almost done. I just need to shine out that old lighthouse's lantern.  The lighthouse is haunted! Just like my toaster. That box is haunted!  These stairs are haunted!  This trash is haunted."
Louie:  Meow.,Ahh! Ghost snail!
Louie:  Meow.,"Oh, you're no ghost. Just a cute little stray snail. How about I call you Louie? Lighthouse Louie!"
"Louie:  Meow, meow!","Now, Louie, you'll be good while uncle SpongeBob cleans."
"Louie:  Meow, meow.  Meow.","Louie, I'm afraid you'll have to play out here, little fella. For your own safety.  What! Louie?  Well, that oughta keep you out of my HAIR!"
"Louie:  Meow, meow!","Sorry, Louie, you have to stay outside.  No silly little snail is a match for my superior sponge brain!   And the bait: one can-o-patty."
Louie:  Meow!,"Gotcha!  I don't gotcha.  You got me.  Barnacles, that's heavy. Huh?  Huh, where'd Louie go?  Louie! Louie! Louie!"
Louie:  Meow.,"Louie! So this is where you've been hiding?  Nice snail, good Louie!  No, no..."
"Larry:  Woah, those dudes are huge! I wonder what they lift. Bubble Bass:  Those aren't dudes. They're giant monsters! Everybody panic! Larry:  Those buff monsters have vanished!  We're saved! Bubble Bass: We're doomed!  My cheeks! Perch Perkins: Can you please tell our viewers the cause of this destruction? Fred:  It was a lighthouse. It rolled through town, destroying everything in its path!  A LIGHTHOUSE! Perchy Perkins:  My goodness. Were you or YOUR LEGS injured by this insane lighthouse? Fred:  No. Mr. Krabs:  That blasted lighthouse is gonna demolish me Krusty Krab!  Attention loyal customers! Paco: Run for our lives? Mr. Krabs: No, throw your bodies in front of that lighthouse, and protect me restaurant!","No, not the Krusty Krab!"
"Mr. Krabs:  Stay away from me restaurant, you dirty... er... lighthouse!",Must... stop... lighthouse.
"Mr. Krabs:  Ha-ha, and don't come back! Mr. Krabs:  Oh, you came back.","Louie? Where's Louie?  Aw, Louie, you weren't trying to stop me from cleaning!  You were just protecting your cute little babies.  I guess I should call you Louise instead!"
"Mrs. Puff:  You actually did a good job, SpongeBob! You deserve a gold star!","Ohh, a gold star! I have a present for you, too, Mrs. Puff.  These little cuties were hiding in your lighthouse."
Mrs. Puff:  Aren't you adorable?,"Oh, Mrs. Puff, you're pretty cute, too! See you next week, Mrs. Puff!"
"Mrs. Puff:  Amazing. For once, SpongeBob didn't create a huge disaster! Mr. Krabs:  Puff! Your blasted lighthouse destroyed the whole town!  And me restaurant! Mrs. Puff:  My lighthouse?! The entire mob: What are you going to do about it?! Mrs. Puff:  Talk to the fin! Debbie: Price check on industrial size econo pack of raw fiber. Mr. Krabs: Ah, it goes in like steel wool, but comes out like an angel from heaven. Debbie:  Please, tell me more. Mr. Krabs: Ooh, well, this one time I... Debbie: Not really! Mr. Krabs: I didn't think so. Ooh, wait, I almost forgot me coupons!  There's a couple double ones in there, too. Debbie: Sir, these expired over 30 years ago. Mr. Krabs: What does that mean? Debbie: It means they're no good, sir. I'll just throw those away for you. Mr. Krabs: No, wait! I'll take 'em. Debbie: Okay, sir, your change today is going to be exactly ten cents. Mr. Krabs: Come to papa! Come to papa!  Yay! Two nickels.  Hey, that's SpongeBob out there!  What in blue blazes is that boy up to?  Well, I'll be a geriatric jellyfish! SpongeBob found a penny! A bright shiny penny just sitting there, and he picked it right up! Huh, I can remember the whole thing as if it just happened a moment ago.",Sir... Sir!
"Debbie: ...Sir! Mr. Krabs: What? Debbie: You're holding up the line. Mr. Krabs:  Ooh, I am? Debbie: Next, please. Mr. Krabs: Interesting how things work out that way. Some folks just walk along and stumble over free money, while others, others, they work! Billy: Hey, mommy, look at that weird guy in the car over there. Billy's Mom: Billy, mommy's watching the road right now. Mr. Krabs: I mean, why couldn't I have just walked along and found it? I have legs, too, you know!  How about a little music.  Okay, okay, get a grip, Krabs. Just concentrate on driving.  Okay, getting all worked up over a little coin.  Ah, it must just be the full moon. Wait a second.  I GOTTA, HAVE THAT, PENNYYYYYYYY!!!  Good morning, SpongeBob.","Good morning, Mr. Krabs!"
Mr. Krabs: Find anything special lately?,Yae-yes!
Mr. Krabs: Really?,Yup!
"Mr. Krabs: And you want to share it with your old uncle Krabs, don't you, boy?",Of course!
"Mr. Krabs: Great! Well, share it with me!","I already am sharing it with you, Mr. Krabs."
Mr. Krabs: Wha.. What?,"The thing I found was a bright, shiny, new... day! Well, I'll be in the kitchen if you need me.  Good morning, Squidward!"
Squidward: Don't talk to me.,Mr. Krabs seems to be in a good mood today.
Squidward: That counts as talking.,"Whoa! Hello again, Mr. Krabs."
"Mr. Krabs: Hello, SpongeBob.",What can I do you for?
Mr. Krabs: Can I borrow a penny?,"A penny? Sure.  Hmm, sorry. All out of pennies right now."
Mr. Krabs: But did you check all your pockets?,"Well, I thought I did."
Mr. Krabs: Front pockets?,"Hmm, no."
Mr. Krabs: Back?,Hmm-mm.
Mr. Krabs: Shirt pockets?,Nuh-uh.
Mr. Krabs: Shoe pockets?,"Shoe pockets. Oh, Mr. Krabs, that is just ridiculous."
Mr. Krabs: It is?,"Well, I do have a tie pocket though.  No, not in there either."
"Mr. Krabs: Hey, maybe it fell in your sock.","Well, I..."
Mr. Krabs: Did you check there?  Uhh?,"Hey, look, it's my brain!  Hey, where's it going?  Ooh, there.  Aha!  Ugh!  Not so fast, little guy. There now. Yes, I know. Come here."
Mr. Krabs: Uhh?,"What's the matter, Mr. Krabs? Didn't you know I was a brain whisperer?"
"Mr. Krabs: So, uhh, no penny, huh?",Nope.
Mr. Krabs: Darn!,"Squidward, these deafening construction sounds are preventing me from working."
"Squidward: Me, too.",Do you think we should walk out back to investigate?
Squidward: Never.,The sounds are coming from back here. What the?
Mr. Krabs: Careful with those marquee ladders!,"Hey, Mr. Krabs, you made your own movie theater!"
"Mr. Krabs: Yes, I did.",Yay!
"Mr. Krabs: And you're just in time for the grand opening!  Step right up, folks, and witness a spellbinding tale chock full of adventure, and action, and thrills... Frank: You know, I'm not really hungry. Fred: Yeah, let's go see what this fat guy is yelling about. Mr. Krabs: ...witness the terrifying challenges overcome by... by... Fred: By who? Mr. Krabs: by a... by a plucky young sponge.",Just like me!
"Mr. Krabs: That's right! And the best part is: admission is only one penny! Squidward: Does a movie like that even exist? Fred: Yeah, does it?! Mr. Krabs: Uhh, well, actually, I was going to show you this flip book and... Squidward: A flip book? Fred: Yeah, I don't even know what that is! Mr. Krabs: No, wait. Noooooooo!","Mr. Krabs, can I see the movie now? Please?"
"Mr. Krabs: Of course you can, lad!  You just gotta give me one penny.","But, but..."
Mr. Krabs: But what?,"But, I really don't have a penny.  Huh, that's too bad. I really wanted to see that movie.  Oh, well."
"Squidward: Good evening,  and  welcome to the  Krusty Krab semi-annual charity night.",Squidward? You look beautiful!
Squidward: Let me show you to your table.,My table? Fancy.  My very own name tag!
"Mr. Krabs: Hello, and welcome to a very important evening. Tonight's event is entitled: Pennies, for the penny-less. And before the following images are shown, I would ask each of you to look not look with your eyes, but with your heart.  Three dimes, two nickels, one quarter, zero pennies. And since I realize the images seen here tonight may be wretchedly hideous, I am going to tell you what you can do to end this travesty: You can donate one penny to me: Mr. Krabs. Also known as: Mr. Krabs, the man who doesn't have one.",Mr. Krabs.
Mr. Krabs:  Yes?,I would like to donate a penny.
Mr. Krabs: You would?,If I only had one!
"Mr. Krabs: Hiding it, somewhere. Hiding it. Hiding it. Hiding it. Hiding it. Gary: Meow. Mr. Krabs: What's that? You! You know where! Gary: Meow. Mr. Krabs: Tell where! Gary: Meow. Mr. Krabs: Hiding it, inside,  in there, somewhere.",Mr. Krabs! What is this metal detector doing on the floor? These should only be stored on special racks.  And you're not wearing your metal detector handling gloves!
"Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, I just wanted that penny you found on the street yesterday. Oh, I'm sorry.","Mr. Krabs, that wasn't a penny."
Mr. Krabs: It wasn't?,"No, that was just a dried up piece of gum for my collection. I think it's peppermint."
"Mr. Krabs: Ah ha ha ha ha hooooooooo hoo. I fell so relieved. There was no penny after all! Well, I'll be going now, You can keep the metal detector, SpongeBob. See ya!","Thanks, Mr. Krabs. Hey, Gary, you can play with that.  Hey, this isn't gum at all.  It's just a dumb old $500 bill. This won't go with my chewed up gum collection. Ah, well, good night, Gary."
"Mr. Krabs: Penny, must have buried it around here somewhere. I'll just have to keep digging. Pearl: Boy, do I love high school. . You know what? Someday we're gonna remember all this, and we're gonna look back and say... Remember? Pearl's friend:  Speaking of remembering, you didn't forget the Bikini Bottom High School Dance is tomorrow night, did you? Pearl:  Of course I didn't forget. I'm so excited. Pearl's friend:  Me, too! Pearl's friend:  Barnacle! Pearl: What!? Pearl's friend: Pearl I'm gonna say this as touchily as possible.  There is a hideous barnacle growing out of the side of your face! Pearl:  Where!? Pearl's friend: There! Pearl's friend: Pearl, it's not really bad as you... Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob?","Yes, Mr. Krabs?"
Mr. Krabs: Didn't you already mop this area?,"Affirmative, captain!"
"Mr. Krabs: Well, then, why would you mop it again?",Why wouldn't I?
"Mr. Krabs: Oh, SpongeBob.  How would you like to...  At ease!  How would you like to do your dear old chum a favor and rid his beautiful daughter of her evil barnacle?","I will do you this favor, sir chum, never fear!"
"Pearl: I don't know, SpongeBob. The school dance is right around the corner, and this barnacle seems to be getting bigger by the minute!","Don't fear, Pearl. We'll get rid of this barnacle in no time! I know just what to do!"
Pearl: Are you sure?,"One time, my friend Patrick had this barnacle the size of an extra large Krabby Patty right at the center of his forehead! Anyway, I fixed it so we never saw that barnacle again."
Pearl: How?,I took him to see a hypnotist.
Pearl: You took Patrick to a hypnotist?,No. The barnacle. It became convinced it was a pelican and flew south for the winter. We never saw that pelican again.
Pearl: I thought you said it was a barnacle.,What did I say?
Pearl: Pelican.,He was a really good hypnotist. Now just remain calm and it's all over before you know it.
Pearl: Are you really going to use hypnosis to get rid of the... barnacle?,Hypnosis? No! Hold still now.
Pearl: Is everything okay?,I don't think this is going to work.  This ol' weather beaten shovel is gonna do the work!
Pearl: Did it come off?,Gettin' there.
"Pearl: SpongeBob, how much longer?","Oh... shouldn't be too much longer.  Personally, you could take a break off if you'd like."
Pearl: Good idea. I'm going to scrub my face with some soap and water.,"Okay. Pearl!  Pearl, what happened?"
Pearl: There's more!,"I mean, you're right. There's more."
Pearl:  All I did was wash with soap and water!,Hmm... Water and... this soap?
"Pearl: Yes, but why?","Because this soap smells so wonderful! That's why. Hmm, I know this fragrance from somewhere.  Oh, I'm sorry, did you want a whiff?"
Pearl: No.,"More for me! No, I think one jar of concealing cream is enough. Don't worry, Pearl, no one will notice a thing."
"Mr. Krabs:  Pearl, I'm home!","Something wrong, Mr. Krabs?"
"Mr. Krabs: For a second there, I thought a towering, hideous, mind-boggling abomination was standing here, staring at me in my own living room! But then I realized...  it's only my old, beloved daughter, Pearl.  Oh, Pearl. No, no, no need for these expensive trips to the spa. But don't worry, SpongeBob here will take care of it. I have more important measures to take care of.  Me jewels!","Pearl?  Pearl, you've been in the bathroom crying for three hours now. You can't stay in there forever."
Pearl:  I'm not going to the dance!,"Okay, I'm coming in!  Look at the bright side, Pearl. At least you can still play the piano."
Pearl: And what exactly would that do to me?,"I have no idea.  Don't worry, Pearl. I'll fix your crying!"
Pearl: How?,"Well, I'm sure if I'll think strong enough, something will pop up.  Oops, I didn't mean it like that.  Hey, it's that delicious-smelling soap again."
Pearl:,Okay. Where do you keep your soap?
"Pearl: In the basement. Duh, where else?",Hello?  Something there? Pearl?!  Mr. Krabs!
"Mr. Krabs: Don't just stand there, boy! Come help me with this!  There we go. Sometimes it just gets a little stuck.","Mr. Krabs, what is this thing?"
"Mr. Krabs: Why, it's my old soap press!",Soap press?
"Mr. Krabs: That's right! All the soap Pearl and I use comes from this machine. And the best part is, it runs on 100% pure leftover Krabby Patties!",Leftover Krabby Patties?
"Mr. Krabs:  Their precious essences are harvested, and after a brief cooling process, tumble out this conveyor belt as fresh, wonderful bars of soap!  Fresh and invigorating! Plus, it's absolutely free.","Ohhhh, that explains why it smells so familiar! I don't know about this, Mr. Krabs. If Pearl finds out that you..."
"Pearl:  I've been using soap made out of Krabby Patties? Mr. Krabs: Krabby Patty essence. Pearl: That's grease! Mr. Krabs: Well, if you want to split hairs, I suppose- Pearl:  Daddy! Mr. Krabs:  Got to go, you kids have fun! Pearl:  I'm never gonna be able to get these barnacles off! My young life is ruined forever.","Don't worry, Pearl. I said I'm not going to let Mr. Krabs down, and I'm not going to. What do you think of that?"
"Pearl:  The Bikini Bottom High School Dance was supposed to be my chance to sparkle, my-","Wait a minute, Pearl, say that again!"
Pearl: Okay. The Bikini Bottom High School Dance was supposed to be my chance to sparkle.,"Okay, you can stop. I think I have an idea..."
Pearl: Are you done yet?,"All set! Close your eyes and get ready to sparkle! One, two, three.  And, ta-da. What do you think?"
"Pearl: I don't know, SpongeBob - what would my friends say?",We shall see shortly.
Pearl: Are you sure?,Shh. Trust me.
"Blue fish: Pearl, we're here to pick you up to the- wow! Pearl, you look amazing! Pearl: I do? Blue fish: Well, not amazing. Sparkly and shiny and amazing! Pearl: Whee! To the Bikini Bottom High School Dance! Pearl and her friends:  Let's go!","You have a good time, carefree teens!"
"Mr. Krabs:  My jewels! SpongeBob, my entire collection of precious jewels is gone! Seen it?",Of course! Pearl's wearing it to the Bikini Bottom High School Dance!
Mr. Krabs: Help! Police! Thief!  Stop that whale!,"I promised Mr. Krabs I wouldn't let him down, and I have partially fulfilled that promise."
"Squidward:  SpongeBob, why aren't those orders up yet? . SpongeBob, the collective blood sugar around here is dangerously low.  Why are you grilling index cards?","Sorry, Squidward, I got a little distracted.  I'm practicing for my oral report for Boating School tomorrow."
"Squidward: You know, SpongeBob, statistics show that public speaking is the number three cause of stress right behind death and marriage. Now get those orders ready!","Okay! Okay!  Hm, what's so scary about public speaking anyway? You just stand in front of the public and speak publicly. It's really no different to what I do everyday. No big deal, SpongeBob, you just stand in front of them...  ...front of them looking...  ...at me  ...with their eyes!  Squidward is right! Public speaking is frightening!"
Squidward:  Must I do everything myself?  Huh? Stay back! You'll get your patty when it's your turn.,I never knew an audience can get so physical.  This changes everything.
"Patrick: Oh, sorry, wrong rock.","Patrick, I wonder if you'd help me by lending me your eyes."
Patrick: Okay.  Uhhh...,"No, no, no, no, no, you can keep them. I just want you to watch me while I practice my speech up here.  Just pretend you're a student at his desk."
"Patrick: H-Hold on, I'd like to sit in the back of the class.","Okay, here goes.  Boating safety is..."
"Patrick: SpongeBob, can I have a hall pass?","Not now, Patrick. Just sit tight and let me practice."
Patrick: Fine.,Boating safe...
Patrick: Boring! Next!,"Patrick, you're kinda derailing the proceedings here. Just focus on me, huh?"
"Patrick: All right, all right.","So, without further ado...  Patrick?  Patrick, wake up.  What happened, Patrick?"
"Patrick: Oh, come on, SpongeBob, you think everyone can stay awake through a boring speech?",I don't know. Do you think that's too much to expect?
Patrick: Yes! And you should be prepared for worse.,Worse?
Patrick: You're gonna have things thrown at you that you wouldn't believe. You gotta be ready. Now try again.,Okay.  Boating safety...  Boating safe...
Patrick: That's it!  Fight through!,"Patrick, nobody throws pillows in class!"
Patrick: Says you! Speech!,Boating safe...
"Patrick:  SpongeBob SquarePants, what a mess you've made of my classroom.","Uh, you sorta add a hand in that, too, Patrick."
"Patrick:  Young man, how dare you?!","What, a detention slip?"
Patrick:  I'm not hearing your oral report.,Okay.  Boating safe...
Patrick: Try again.,Boating safety...
"Patrick: Come on, SquarePants! Is this the best you can do?","Patrick, somehow I don't think this is working."
Patrick:  Speech!  Speech! Speech! Speech!  Speech! Speech! Speech!  Speech! Speech! Speech!  Speech! Speech! Spee -,"Patrick, stop! Somehow your help just isn't helping. I am more nervous about this oral report than I've ever been about anything."
"Patrick: Yeah, you do look pretty terrible.","Well, if I don't do my report, then I don't pass. And if I don't pass, then I don't get my boating license!"
"Patrick: Wait, buddy! I know how you can get your boating license. Your friend the squirrel girl is real good with her paws.  Maybe she can make you a fake one.","No, Patrick, that's illegal, but she might be able to help me get over this anxiety. She's always speaking at science conferences. She's probably full of pointers!"
"Sandy: It has been scientifically proven that  85% of speech related stress can be eliminated if the speaker imagines the audience in their underwear. Sandy: Everyone will look so silly, you won't even remember you're nervous! Which is why I invented these.  Goggles that let you see people in your undies. Or, I could just make you a fake boating license.",That's still illegal. Give me the goggles!  It's not working.
"Sandy: Well, of course it isn't, silly! I'm only wearing my undies. See if it works on Patrick.","Eh! Ooh, they work."
"Mrs. Puff: Well, SpongeBob? Do you have your oral report ready?",Huh...?
Mrs. Puff: The assignment I gave you. The one where you talk in front of the class.,"Oh, yeah! Of course I'm ready!  I can do it.  Um...  Oh, no. Oh, no!"
Mrs. Puff: What are you doing?!,"Mrs. Puff, do I really have to do this?"
Mrs. Puff: No. Only if you want to pass this class!,"Okay.  Uh, my report...is on...  Heh! Must be last-minute jitters!  Patrick, where are those goggles?"
Patrick: Right here. Let me polish them up for ya.  Here ya go.,Thanks!
Billy: Hurry up!,"Ha, ha, it's working! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ..."
"Mrs. Puff: What's all this laughing about?  Well, SpongeBob?",Boating safety is the responsibility of every boater in the ocean because --
"Scary Face: Well, don't just stand there! Get on with it!",They're all staring!
"Police Officer: Okay, forget what I just said. Police Officer: Sponge, pull over!",I don't know how!
"Patrick: SpongeBob! Police Officer: All right, kid, what was that all about? Police Officer #2: Don't you know anything about boating safety?","Boating safety? Well, yes, Officer. I do.  Boating safety is the responsibility of every boater in the whole ocean. Each boater must follow the rules and regulations stipulated in the boater safety handbook. When the meaning of all important signs... ...pay attention to all surroundings... ...when wet means no parking... ...it already figures... ...always blah blah blah... ...with all shades of curve... ...remember... ...a motor vehicle is 20,000 pounds of blah blah--"
"Police Officer #2: Gee, kid.  That was beautiful. Police Officer: Yeah. I never even knew some of those things myself. Mrs. Puff: Aha! Finally! The long arm of the laws caught up with you! I guess I won't be seeing you in my driver's education class for the next 5 to 10 years! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Police Officer: Wait, wait, Miss Chuckles, did you say you were his boating instructor? Mrs. Puff:   Yes. Why? Police Officer: Under penal code 26-1 quote, The boating instructor is responsible--",--for any minor delinquent actions under that teacher's care.
"Police Officer: Unquote. I'm afraid we're gonna have to take you in, ma'am. Mrs. Puff: What?! Nooo! Patrick: Hey, buddy, you got over your fear of getting an oral talking thing.","Hey, I did! Thanks, pal!"
"Patrick: Oh, that reminds me.  You forgot these.  Whoa-ho! Oh, they really work! Heh! Scary Face: And, what are you lookin' at? Patrick: Plankton:  Yes! My plan is working!  Now everyone in town will know what a jerk Krabs is. Yeah!  Huh? Lady officer: Hey, you!  You're under arrest. Plankton: Arrest? For what? I didn't even steal anything this time. Mr. Krabs: Vandalism's a crime too. You've been caught red-handed, Plankton. Plankton: Eh, should've used the green paint. Mr. Krabs: I usually laugh all the way to the bank.  But for you, Plankton, I'll laugh all the way to the clink! Lady officer: Oh no, the prison is full!  Looks like we'll just have to set you free. Mr. Krabs:  What, free?! But he's a criminal! Lady officer: Well, you know what they say. Don't stop the crime if you can't enforce the time. Plankton:  Eat it, Krabs! I'm off to re-offend. Lady officer: It's a shame that there's no other place in Bikini Bottom to hold our extra criminals. 'Cause we'd give that place a lot of money. Mr. Krabs:  You got yourself a deal!  We can lock him up at my place,  the Krusty Krab. Lady officer: Well then,  this is for the prisoner.  And here's your cash. Mr. Krabs:  Whoa.  Thank you, Madame Officer. Squidward: Oh, stupid barnacles, tartar sauce, fish paste— Mr. Krabs:  Enjoy your ride, Plankton? Squidward: Ow. Mr. Krabs:  Oh, sorry, Mr. Squidward. Didn't see you there.","Oh, what's Plankton doing here, Mr. Krabs? I thought he was going to prison."
Mr. Krabs: He is. The Krusty Krab is a prison now.,"Oh, hooray! Prison!"
"Squidward:  Oh, big deal. I've been a prisoner here for years. Mr. Krabs:  Hardy-har, Mr. Squidward.  You boys get back to work!  I'll be guarding Plankton in me office.  Into your cell, you miscreant! Plankton:  All right, I'm out of here.  Uh, pardon me, warden, sir, but is that a pretty penny on the floor? Mr. Krabs:  Where? It's mine! It's mine! I saw it first! Plankton:  The perfect escape.  YEEOOWW!!! Mr. Krabs: Oh, no you don't.  Trying to escape is bad enough, but lying about a penny? You're going in...  ...the hole.  Need one of your holes, boy-o.","You got it, Warden Krabs."
"Plankton: Hey, let's not do anything we can't— Mr. Krabs: And don't let him go nowhere!","Aye-aye, sir!"
"Plankton:  All right, who turned off the lights?","Sorry, sir. Plankton tickles inside of me."
"Mr. Krabs: That oughta learn him. Lady officer: Morning, Warden. Mr. Krabs: Oh, me favorite paying police lady. Here to give me more money? Lady officer: Yup, more money for more prisoners. Mr. Krabs: More prisoners? Prisoner #1: Aye, the Krusty Krab. I used to eat here. Prisoner #2: What a coincidence. I used to rob here. Lady officer: So, what do you say, Mr. Krabs? Mr. Krabs:  I say... lock 'em up!  SpongeBob! Try to prison-up the place for our new guests. I gotta go incarcerate all this cash.","I'll do my best, Warden Krabs, sir!"
"Mr. Krabs:  Nice work, boy-o. Very prison-y. Fred: Hey, uh, what's with all the caged men in here?  They're making me a little nervous...! Mr. Krabs: Ooh, um, well we're a prison-themed restaurant now.  Do your time with our new Prison Patty.  It's served in a solitary confinement box, has its own prisoner number, and even comes with toy shackles! Fred: Wow! Prisoner #3:  Looks delicious. Mr. Krabs: At the Krusty Krab, you can lock up your hunger and throw away your keys!  Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh. Ooh, crisis averted. Okay, time to let Plankton out of the hole. Open her up, boy-o.  Hmm.  Pull yourself together, prisoner!  I got a new cell for you. Plankton:  The formula?! It's so close... I can almost touch it! No, no, no, no! Mr. Krabs:  Good times. Good times.","Okay, mail call, boys. Let's see, who do we have?  Toothy.  Four Eyes.  Lefty.  Fats.  Fingers.  Einstein.  Stretch, Chuckles, Bingo, Blammy, Wheels, Boogie, Red, Trip, Winks, Skeeter, Stinky."
"Prisoners: Thanks, SpongeBob!","No problem, guys."
"Mr. Krabs: Oh, morning, officer. Lady officer: I'm here to oversee Plankton's release.  His sentence is up. Mr. Krabs: What?! But I have so many more punishments for him! Plankton:  Enjoy your Plankton-free prison, Eugene.  I hope it's worth what you're paying for it. Mr. Krabs: Hmm? Paying for it? Wonder what he means by that. Huh?","More marshmallows for your hot cocoa, Wobbles?"
"Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, what are you doing?!  Do you have any idea how much it costs to make a prison humane?! These down comforters, they're two-y.  This ain't no luxury hotel!  These televisions ain't free!  And neither are these massage chairs!  And this, your most expensive mistake of all!  From now on, no more patties for prisoners! Dorsal Dan: Cruel and unusual punishment! Mr. Krabs: And no more tomatoes either! Female customer: Come on, let's find another prison to eat at. Customers:  What a rip-off! / Come on. Mr. Krabs: No, no! Come back! Come back! I can't afford to lose me paying customers. Oh, I'm ruined!  All right, that's it!  No more prison! Everyone out!  Don't care where you go, but you can't stay here!  Oh, finally. The Krusty Krab is back to being a regular old money-making restaurant.  Problem solved.  I said problem solved! French Narrator: Later at night...","Oh, it's just my prison pals. What are you guys doing here?"
Prisoner #4: We want to go back to the Krusty Krab. We were having fun in there with you. See?,"Aww. Okay, I'm in. Time for a jail-break-in."
"French Narrator: The next day... Prisoners: Morning, Warden Krabs! Mr. Krabs: Morning, prisoners!  SpongeBob! What is going on here? I set all these criminals free last night! What are they doing back in their cells?!","Uh, Mr. Krabs, now's probably not the best time to—"
"Lady officer: You know it's a crime to release prisoners early, don't ya?  You're going to prison,  criminal. Mr. Krabs: What? Oh, well, that's not so bad. Pencil me in for a 3:30 massage, SpongeBob. Lady officer:  Oh, you're not staying here. The Krusty Krab is full. We got a new prison just for you. Mr. Krabs:  Oh, no... Let me guess... Plankton: Mealtime, prisoner!  Right in the mouth. Narrator: The first day of spring in Bikini Bottom. The flowers are blooming, the rainbows are... how you say? Bowing. The jellyfish are buzzing,  and it's time for the traditional...","Spring cleaning! Guess what time of year it is, Gary?"
Gary: Meow!,"Thanks for your help, Gare!"
"Gary: Meow! Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob!","Hi, Patrick. How's your spring cleaning going?"
"Patrick: It's Spring Cleaning Day?! Why didn't anyone tell me?! Patrick: Found it! Thanks for the reminder, SpongeBob!  See ya again next spring.  Whatcha got in your trash can? Huh!? You're throwing this away!? The wrapper of the gum I gave you yesterday!?","Oh, yeah."
"Patrick: Oh! Some people just don't understand sentimental value.  You're throwing away Pete!? Y-You can't part with a keepsake! That's why you keep them, for Pete's sake! Hmph! Why, I'm disgusted! It's time you re-evaluate your priorities.","Hmm. Maybe Patrick is right. All of these things do hold precious memories.  No!  Come on, you!  Gotcha! Welcome home, precious memories.  Plastic wrap is neat, huh, Gary?"
Gary: Meow!,"Order up! Careful with these ones, Squidward. They're special."
"Squidward: Oh, dear me. I know. I hope I never forget this moment.","You're right. I'm going to need something to preserve the memory. Oh, perfect!  Ah, memories. Greasy memories. Whoo-wee! Nothing like a hard day of work at the Krusty Krab, eh, Squidward? Whew!"
Squidward: You're sentimental about your sweat?,"Oh, that's not all! And I'm also very sentimental about these Krusty Krab keepsakes, so many memories! Grill grease, gum from under the Krusty Krab tables, today's mop water, bendy straws, mayonnaise, a collection of freshly used ketchup packets, and these are today's order tickets written by my favorite fellow employee, Squidward. See? This one has your tentacle print on it!"
"Squidward: Okay, this is getting creepy now.","Oh, well, better get these precious memories home."
Squidward: Officially creeped out now.,"♪Memories, doo doo doo memories, doo doo doo doo memories.♪  Hey, Gary.  Oh. Safe and sound!  Whoo, closed up tight! And you said it wouldn't fit."
"Gary: Meow, meow, meow.","Oh, nonsense, Gary, I'll find a place to put everything. Like the front yard! Who is it?"
Squidward: It's Squidward.,How do I know it's you?
"Squidward: Open the door, nitwit!","Oh, hi, Squidward, can I help you?"
Squidward: You can certainly help...  Why are you wearing garbage?,"Thanks for noticing, Squidward, and may I say that's a very becoming dress you're wearing this morning."
"Squidward: Dress? It is not a dress, it's a nightshirt. If you don't get rid of this trash, I'm calling the sanitation police.","Ah, not the sanitation police! You don't understand, these things aren't junk! They're my friends, like this little guy,  Alfred the light bulb. Oh, we had a great time together, Al, reading, paying the bills. Why is it the ones who glow brightest burn out the soonest?!  You will be missed."
"Squidward: Touching. Still creepy, but touching. Time to make a phone call. Cop 1: Sanitation police! This is a raid. Step away from the refuse. Squidward: Thank goodness you're here, officer. Cop: Is this your filthy home? Squidward: No, it's not my home! It belongs to that filthy little dirtbag!",Hi!
"Cop 1: Thanks for the information, citizen. Cop 2:  Hmph, snitch. Cop 1: Do your duty, Sergeant. Cop 2: Cop 1: This residence is now comdemned.",Condemned? What does that mean?
Cop 1: Condemned means this house is unfit to live in. You'll have to vacate the home immediately.,Vacate? You mean I have to move?
"Cop 1: Anything that is a threat to public health must be condemned. Sergeant. Cop 2: Squidward: Thank you again, officers.",Wait! Please don't condemn my house.
"Squidward: Sorry, SpongeBob, the law is the law. We can't just pick and choose which ones we follow. Cop 1: I'll request a commendation for you. Squidward: Really? Cop 1: Right after we condemn your house! Squidward: My house?! Cop 1: Yes! It's as filthy as your neighbor's.",But isn't there anything we can do?
Cop 1: You can evacuate the premises or throw away your junk.,Throw them away?
"Cop 1: Thank you for the attempt, ma'am. Squidward: Ma'am? It's a nightshirt!  This is all your fault! You have to get rid of your junk right now!",I know.  I'm gonna miss them so much!
Squidward: You really miss them?,No. I'll be strong.
"Squidward: Well, maybe you can take photos of all your junk... uh, friends before you toss them away.","That's a great idea, Squidward! Then years from now, I can look at the photos, and remember my... remember my precious little babies!"
"Squidward: Creepy. Squidward:  Oh, good grief.","Your pay, my good man. Goodbye, little friends. Have fun at the dump!"
"Squidward: Well, now that you completely ruined my day, once again, I'm going back to bed.","Alright, nighty-night."
"Squidward: Idiot.  What the...?! SpongeBob, why is my house filled with photos of your dumb junk?","Oh, I forgot to tell you, I took so many pictures I ran out of room in my house."
Patrick: Nice dress. Squidward:  It's a nightshirt! Patrick: Batter up!,"Ah, oh."
"Patrick: I got it, I got it!",Wah!
Patrick: Whoo-hoo! Squidward: What are you two dizzy dingbats doing out here?!,"Just treasuring our time together, Squidward."
"Squidward: Well, that time is over! Say good night, go to your separate houses, and be quiet! Patrick:  I can't do it! I can't be away from my best friend!","No, it hurts too much!"
"Squidward: Oh, will you two cut it out?","Cut it out... Squidward, that's a great idea!"
Squidward and Patrick: It is? Patrick: Wow! My turn! Squidward: I think I'm gonna be sick!,"Here you go, Patrick. Now we never have to be apart,  even when we're not together."
"Patrick: This is great. See you forever, SpongeBob.","Yeah, see you forever, Patrick.  Time for bed, Tiny Patrick."
Patrick: Hmm. Teddy Bear: Uh.  Oh. Mini Patrick:  Ah.  Ah!,"Good morning, Squidward."
Squidward: Says who?,"You sit right there, my hungry little sailor, while I whip you up some grub from the galley."
"Mini Patrick:  Dah, uh-huh. Mini Patrick: Ah. Mini Patrick: Ahh. Hmm?  Ahhh! Yah!","Huh? Careful there, little buddy. The grill is hot."
Mini Patrick:  Ohhh.,Huh?
Mini Patrick:  Whee-ah!,"Stop!  Bad, Tiny Patrick! Hmm.  Sorry to do this, little guy, but I have to keep you safe while I get some work done.  Ah-yah."
Patrick: Good morning. Patrick: Didn't think I was gonna be able to eat all that. But then I did!,"Brushy, brushy, brushy."
"Patrick: Come on, Tiny SpongeBob. You gotta lift with your back. Patrick: Oh, oh. Hey, SpongeBob.","Patrick, hi."
Patrick:  Eeh.  Hmm. Hmm.,"So, uh, I'd love to hang out, but I already have some plans with Tiny Patrick here."
"Patrick: Oh, yeah, well, me and Tiny SpongeBob,  we're pretty busy tonight, so good night.","Good night. I don't want you getting into trouble during the night, so you're gonna stay in the aquarium like a good little sleepy clam."
"Mini Patrick: Ahh! Patrick: Huh? Hey. Didn't you used to have one two...two arms? Okay, little buddy. Let's find that arm of yours. Oh.  Oh.  Nope.  Nope. Hmm.  Huh? Mini SpongeBob: Ah! Patrick: Nope.  Oh. Ah-ha! I got it!  I'll fix you up in no time.  Good as new. Mini SpongeBob: Ehh. Huh? Patrick: Okay, good night. Mini SpongeBob: Huh? Mini SpongeBob: Oh? Mini SpongeBob: Ding!  Yah!","Yes, Squidward, extra mayo, I heard you. Oh, hi, Patrick."
"Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob.",I don't remember us having a sleepover last night.
"Patrick: What's going on, SpongeBob?","Oh, hey, little guys. You're playing with each other. So cute."
"Mini SpongeBob: Whew. Mini SpongeBob and Mini Patrick: Huh? Mini SpongeBob: Ah, ah. Mini SpongeBob: Hey! Patrick: What are they doing, SpongeBob?","Just trying to live their lives, Patrick. Just trying to live their lives. Poor little guys. Our world is just too big for them. Ohh, I have an idea."
"Patrick: Oh, I hope it's not another one of your crazy plans to steal the Krabby Patty secret formula.","You're thinking of Plankton, Patrick."
"Patrick: Oh, yeah!",Ta-da! A tiny house for my tiny friend.
"Mini SpongeBob: Ahh! Patrick: Oh, I get it!","Nice work, Patrick. Whoops!  Almost forgot.  You've got to have a Gare-Bear."
"Mini SpongeBob: Oh, yay! Mini Patrick: Ohh.  Huh? SpongeBob and Patrick: Aww.  Hmm. Patrick: Hmm?","Let's leave 'em alone, Patrick."
"Squidward:  Ah, too bright.  Oh, those two again! Squidward: What the— Squidward: Ow! Squidward: No, get away. Get away!","This is Junior Crime Breaker SpongeBob, reporting to Junior Crime Breaker Patrick.  There are no signs of crime in front of my house. Any criminal activity by you? Over."
"Patrick:  Uh...I've got a visual on an old lady tying her shoes.  She's doing the old granny knot. Old Lady: Oh, I'll give you a granny knot! Patrick:  All clear! No crime here.","Patrick, emergency meeting at Squidward's house—ASAP!  Oh please, Squidward, don't move away! You can't leave the neighborhood! Aw, we were just starting to get close."
"Patrick:  I swear, I'll haunt your nightmares if you move away! Squidward:  I'm not moving away, you brainless bottom feeders! Squidward: I'm just taking a week's vacation away from you morons.",Thank you. Let me help you carry this.
"Squidward: No—wait, no!",Oh—your unmentionables.
"Patrick: I won't mention this bra. Squidward: It's not a bra! It's a pectoral girdle. I don't care about my clothes. I just wanna get away from you two. And while I'm away—huh... Squidward:  While I am gone, there will be a paying guest renting my place. Don't bother him!",This is Junior Crime Breaker SpongeBob to Junior Crime Breaker Patrick. I've got a visual on a cab. Can you get a make on who the passenger is? Over.
"Patrick:  I can't see anything through these unmentionables. TV Announcer: Who's this tacky tourist turning up in taxi? Why, it's none other than that mortal enemy of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy, the evil Man Ray! Man Ray: Hey, dude, keep it down. I'm not doing any evil this week. I'm on vacation! TV Announcer: Really? Man Ray: Yes, really.","Aw, he went inside! Patrick, wouldn't it be great to have another friend who could join our Junior Crime Breakers? Ooh, I gotta get a look at him!"
Patrick:  We can blast him out.,"No, no! Squidward said not to bother the man.  So, we gotta be sneaky. Shh! He must've gone upstairs."
"Patrick: Well, how do we get up there?",Eye have just the thing!  Ow!
"Man Ray:  Oh, it's getting chilly.","Ow!  D'ow!  Ow!  Oof!  Ow. Now, I know Squidward said not to bother his guest, but there's nothing wrong with a welcome-to-the-neighborhood pie."
Man Ray:  Oh! May I help you? I was just finishing up in the bathroom.,Hello. Welcome to the neighborhood!
Patrick: Don't mind us. Man Ray: Wha...Hmm. Man Ray: Is this sand? Patrick: Hamper sand—from my hamper. Man Ray:  Ugh!,"Yeah, stranger, we got a nice little town here—thanks to the Junior Crime Breakers. And we're always looking for new members. You look pretty fit."
"Patrick: SpongeBob. He's not putting out any snacks for us. Man Ray: Oh, sorry! How rude of me. Hmm...ooh! All I have is this pie. Patrick: Don't mind if I do. Man Ray: Eh—if you'll excuse me, I'll finish up in the bathroom. Patrick:  He's all outta snacks!  Let's go.","But, Patrick, we haven't asked him to join the Junior Crime Breakers yet. Hello, we were wondering if you'd like to—"
"Patrick:  Evil villain Man Ray. Man Ray: Now, what were you saying?  Hmm? What? Hmm?  Hmm.",Mermaid Man! It's Man Ray! He's right inside Squidward's...place.  Too late. Man Ray must've gotten to them.
Patrick:  Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy ice pops! They finally made them!,"Wait a minute, Patrick. We're both wrong! It says right here in issue 55. Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy are just taking their cryonic nap. But when they wake up in a week, they'll be weak for a week!  Patrick, do you know what this means?"
Patrick: I'll have to wait a week for my Mermaid Man ice pop?,"Yes and no. It means that you and I will have to be Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy, and stop Man Ray's vacation of... Evil!"
"SpongeBob and Patrick:  By the power of Neptune, Mermaid Pants and Barnacle Star unite!","Patrick, is that..."
"Patrick: I couldn't wait a week!  Yow! Patrick: Ah-ah-ah— Patrick: Good thing I'm so stealthy, huh, Mermaid Pants?  Ah! The stealth! Man Ray:  Huh?  Hmm?  Hmm!",Ow!
Man Ray: Intruders? Mm-hmm...I've got to call the cops.  What am I doing? Villains don't call the police!  I didn't think to bring any evil super-weapons on vacation! I'm unarmed!  Huh?,"Who'da thunk that Squidward would be stockpiling such a huge arsenal of evil super-weapons?  So stale, yet so deadly."
Patrick: I got my weapon!,♪Dum-dah-dah!♪
"Man Ray: Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy? I knew you guys were old, but I had no idea you mutated.","Surrender, Man Ray!"
Man Ray: I'm on holiday.,"Yeah, an evil holiday!"
Patrick: Prepare to be framed! TV Announcer: Vase vaporized!,Here's a dessert that's sure to hurt!
"Man Ray: Huh? TV Announcer: Figurines fractured! Patrick: No, no, no, no, no!","All right, Man Ray. I will snare you in my clara-net!"
Man Ray:  Oof! Patrick:  Uh...I can't think of anything! TV Announcer: Table toppled! Man Ray: I just wanted a vacation!,Evil never takes a vacation!
Man Ray:  Did you just make that up? Because that sounds pretty good. Do you mind if I use it sometime?,"Help yourself, Man Ray."
"Patrick: Yeah, help yourself to pain! Man Ray:  Why did I ever bother trying to be normal?  I am Man Ray! Feel my evil wrath! SpongeBob, Patrick, and Man Ray: Huh? Man Ray: Hold on. I should get this.  Hello? Squidward: Hello, Man Ray? The weather changed my plans. I'm coming home.  Not to worry, though. You'll get a full refund on the rent, so long as there is no damage to my place.  Hello? Man Ray:  That idiot octopus doesn't know I gave him a phony check!  You were right about me after all, dopey duo. Evil never takes a vacation!",Ooh! Definitely sounds a lot cooler when he says it.
"Man Ray:  Ah, here's my Scuber.",Maybe one day Man Ray will reform and join the Junior Crime Breakers.  Huh?
"Patrick: Man, he really trashed this place.","Okay, Barnacle Star! Let's be super good and glue all of Squidward's stuff back together!"
"Patrick: Well, how do we do that?","Oh, Patrick, it's right here in issue 14.  We have super saliva!"
"Patrick:  Ow! Squidward: Hello?  Oh, looks like my guest left already.  Home sweet...  Home. Note: The instances of My leg are all numbered in this order: Fred: My leg! (1) (1)  Ah! My leg! (2) (2)  My leg! (3) (3)  Hmm? My leg! (4) (4)  My leg! (5) (5)  My leg? (6) (6)  My leg?! (7) (7)   My leg! (8) (8)  My leg... (9) (9)  My leg! (10) (10)  My leg! (11) (11)  My leg! (12) (12) Doctor:  That last one put my daughter through college.  All right, let's get this over with. Fred:  My leg, (13) (13) my leg, (14) (14) my leg, (15) (15) my leg, (16) (16) my leg! (17) (17) MY LEEEEEEEEG!!! (18) (18)   Ooh, hmm! Feels great! Thanks, Doc! Doctor: I'm glad, Fred. But you've got to be more careful with...  your leg! (19) Fred: Ah, come on, Doc. It's just my leg! (20) (19)  I've got another one. Doctor: Just your leg? (21)  JUST YOUR LEG?! (22)  All right, Fred, the next time you come in here with a hurt leg (23), I'm going to replace it with... Fred: With what? Doctor:  A ROBOT LEG! (24) Fred: Cool! Doctor: It might be cool to you, Fred, but how does the robot feel about it? Tom (robot): Don't take my leg! (25) (20) Don't take my leg! (26) (21) Fred:  Okay, Doc, I get it. I'll take better care of my leg! (27) (22) I promise. Doctor: Nice job, Tom.","Hello, Fred. Your leg! (28) Looks great."
Fred: Stay away from my leg! (29) (23) SpongeBob.,"Oh, Fred, I'm so sorry I drove that freight train onto your leg! (30) Heh, choo-choo..."
Fred: My LEG! (31) (24),Flashbacks tickle.
Fred: Now please go away.,"Ooh, I know. I'll protect his leg! (32) From harm, incognito. Ow, ow. Yowch!"
"Fred: Hey, everybody! Look who's back! Construction workers: My leg! (33) (25)","This is his job?! Oh no. Not safe. Must think.  Welcome back, Fred. Nice leg (34) work. But you know, it's a lot safer if you use a... table leg (35) instead."
Fred: Wow! Really?,"Now Fred, I wouldn't pull your leg! (36) Watch this.  Huh? Well, at least Fred's leg! (37) is safe."
"Fred: My leg! (38) (26) Is really stressing out, Dr. Charley Horse. Dr. Charley Horse:  Hmm. Uh-huh.  You're right, Fred. It's so tense. But I've got just the remedy. Take off your shoes and follow me. Patrick:  So far this plan stinks.","This is no time to be smelling stinks, Patrick. I need to protect Fred's leg! (39) And I can't do it alone."
"Dr. Charley Horse: The only way to relax your leg! (40) Is to walk on...  hot coals. SpongeBob and Patrick: Hot coals?! Dr. Charley Horse: Now Fred, close your eyes, and repeat after me the ancient mantra: My feet (41) are cold. My feet (42) are cold. Fred and Dr. Charley Horse: My feet (43) are cold. Fred: My feet (44) are cold. Fred: My feet (45) are cold.  My feet (46) are cold.","Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow."
"Fred: My feet (47) are cold. Fred: Whoa!  MY BUTT! (48) Dr. Charley Horse:  Oh my feet (49) are cold, my feet (50) are cold, my feet (51) are cold, my feet (52) are cold!  Transcendence. Fred: Oooohhhh!",All quiet on the right side.
"Patrick:  All quiet on the left side.  Sorry, sir. Old woman: Oh!","Sorry, ma'am."
"Fred: Hey, what's going on here? Girl Scout: Would you like to buy some cookies?","Mayday, Chicken Leg! (53) (41) We got a situation on the griddle!"
Patrick:  I got the weapon!  Yow! Fred: SpongeBob? Why are you following MY LEG?! (54) (27)  (42),"Fred, you have to listen to me. Your leg! (55) (43) Is in constant danger. Isn't that so, Patrick?"
"Patrick: I think I hurt my leg... (56) (28)  (44) SpongeBob and Fred: Your what? Patrick:  MY LEG!! (57) (29) (45) Fred:  Aw gee, some guys get all the lucky breaks.",At least you know that your leg's! (58) (46) Perimeter is secured.
Fred: I know. I just miss being at the hospital.,Why?
"Fred: Well, secretly...",Ooh!
Fred:  I'm in love with a nurse.,"Ooh, you're in love with a nurse? Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo!  Fred, I've got an idea. Why don't we hurt your leg! (59) (47) So you can be reunited with your lady fair?"
Fred: Let's do it! And we should step on it. It's almost time for her break.,I'd say it's almost time for your break. I should probably use something stronger.
"Fred: Yeah, probably. Convict: Hmm?",Ahh?
Convict: Hmm? Mm-mm.,"Hmm. Trust me, Fred, your leg! (61) (49) Is as good as broken."
"Fred: Oh, my sweet nurse angel. I'll be there soon, my love!","And here comes the love train, right on schedule!"
Tom (robot): Don't hurt your leg! (62) (50) Don't hurt your leg! (63) (51),"Mr. Robot, that is very rude. How are we supposed to break Fred's leg! (64) (52) Now?"
Fred: He's just afraid if I hurt my LEG! (65) (31) (53) The doctor will replace it with his leg! (66) (54),"Oh, is that all? Shucks, he can have my leg!  (67) (32) (55) It'll grow back.  Boink!  Enjoy."
"Tom (robot):  Thank you, sponge man. This one is even better than my leg! (68) (33) (56) Fred: Aw, it's no use, SpongeBob. Maybe the nurse and me were never meant to be.","Now, don't put your tail between your legs! (69) (57) Just yet, Fred. I've got the perfect plan to get you back to the hospital. Okay, here's what we do...  Heyyy! My leg! (70) (34) (58)"
"Fred: MY HEAD AND TORSO! (71) Wow, that's crazy. They hit me everywhere except MY LEGS! (72) (35) (59) Fred:  Thank you, SpongeBob. If it wasn't for you, I never would have made it back to my angel goddess.","Oh, don't thank me, Fred. Your leg! (73) (60) Did all the heavy lifting. I can't wait to meet this angel goddess of yours."
"Fred: Well, wait no longer, SpongeBob. Hello, Nurse Bazooka!",Nurse Bazooka?
"Nurse Bazooka: Sponge bath time! SpongeBob, Patrick, Convict, and Tom (robot): No! Patrick: I don't want to! Oh, no, no! Nurse Bazooka: ♪Scrub, scrub, scrubbity, scrub, scrub, scrub, scrub, scrub, scrub, scrub, scrub, scrub, scrub♪ Convict: No! Fred: You know, this reminds me of a song. Fred: ♪When I met you, my fingers went numb and my arms were all aloof. But I tripped over your heart. And now, my loneliness went poof. Becaaaaaause... my leg (74) (36) (61) is in love! Hey, my leg (75) (37) (62) is in love! Like an old, snug shoe that fits like a glove! My leg (76) (38) (63) is in love! Wow! My leg (77) (39) (64) is in love! Through my femur to the marrow is where Cupid shot an arrow! So, my leg (78) (40) (65) is in love! Whoa! My leg (79) (41) (66) is in love! My calves are getting restless! My quads are going crazy! I'm in love with a nurse and I think her name is Daisyyyyyy!♪ Nurse Bazooka:  Me? Chorus: ♪His leg (80) (67) is in love! Yeah! His leg (81) (68) is in love!♪ Fred: ♪I really mean it! Yeah, my leg! (82) (42) (69)♪ Chorus: ♪His leg! (83) (70)♪ Fred: ♪Oh, yes!♪ Chorus: ♪Oh, yes!♪ Fred: ♪My le-eg (84) (43) (71) is in loooooovvvvve!♪ Chorus: ♪His leg (85) (72) is in love!♪ Fred: ♪Yeah!♪","Hey, I always wanted to show a little leg! (86) (73)"
"Nurse Bazooka:  Mwah, mwah, mwah. Fred:  MY LEEEEEEEEEEEEEG!!! (87) (44) (74) Mr. Krabs: Squidward! SpongeBob! Just put me out of my misery.","Why, Mr. Krabs? What could be wrong on this fine day?"
"Mr. Krabs: Fine?!  Today's not the day for that word, boy. Not after I received this letter from the Fry Cooks Union. It says here fry cook SpongeBob SquarePants has accumulated too much vacation time. And if you don't take some time off, I'll have to pay a fine.",Time off?
"Mr. Krabs: Oh, I guess there's no other way to say this... SpongeBob, take a vacation.","Aye aye, Mr. Krabs."
"Mr. Krabs: Well, that went better than expected.","I'm ready, vacation. I'm ready, vacation. Vacation. Vacation.  Hey, Gary."
Gary: Meow?,"That's right, Gary, I am home early. I'm on vacation. Well, good night, Gary.  Good morning, Krusty Krew! Hello, Squidward."
"Squidward: I thought you were on vacation. Mr. Krabs:  He was and is. I told you to take a vacation, boy.",What's a vacation?
"Mr. Krabs: Well, a vacation is when you don't come into work.",No work?! But what'll I do all day?
"Mr. Krabs: Oh, I dunno. Just go have fun or whatever. I really don't care. Ya just can't be here.",But who will fry the patties and clean the grill while I'm gone? Squidward can't do it all alone.
"Squidward: Nor will I. Mr. Krabs: That's why I've hired an unpaid intern as your temporary replacement. Patrick:  Good morning, boss. I'm ready for my first day. Mr. Krabs: Speaking of starfish, here's your replacement right here.",Replacement?
"Patrick: Hi, SpongeBob. Mr. Krabs: That's enough banter on my dime. Patrick: Ok, boss. Mr. Krabs: Wait a second, Patrick. You'll need the right tools for the job. Patrick: Wow.  Huh! They put a tiny me in the belly scratcher.  Wow. It scratches backs, too! Mr. Krabs: Ah, take it from me, SpongeBob. Just go on home. Enjoy your vacation.",I really should tell Patrick the proper patty-flipping technique.
Gary: Meow.,"I'm on vacation, Gary. I'm not allowed to go to work.  My stomach has receded! Mr. Krabs said I couldn't work at the Krusty Krab. He didn't say I couldn't eat there. This is my ticket back inside!"
"Squidward: Go away, SpongeBob. You're ruining my vacation...from you.","I'm not here to see you, Squidward."
"Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, do we have to go through this again?",I'm here as a customer not as an employee. Just gonna grab a Krabby Patty with Patrick for lunch.
"Mr. Krabs: Alright, but lunch only. If you so much as touch a spatuler, you'll be vacationing in Davey Jones' locker.","You have my word, sir. No working.  Hey, Pat, it's time for your lunch...  Patrick, you can't do that!"
Patrick: Huh?,"You need to turn up the grill to exactly 298 degrees Fahrenheit.  Patrick, this is no way to treat a Krabby Patty."
Mr. Krabs:  SpongeBob! What did I tell you about working?,"Wait, it's not what you think."
"Mr. Krabs:  Out you go, boy.",But my knowledge could help Patrick maintain the high standards of the Krusty Krab.
Mr. Krabs: We've got it all under control here. I don't want to see hide or tail of ya 'til your vacation is over. You got that?,"Yes, Mr. Krabs."
"Mr. Krabs: Well, boy...  off ya go! And don't come back 'til it's over.","Oh, what to do, what to do. I know just the thing to get the spirits up. The official Krusty Krab playset."
"Squidward:  SpongeBob, I need 20 Krabby Patties on the double, please.","Sure thing, Mr. Squidward, sir. 20 Krabby Patties coming up."
"Mr. Krabs:  SpongeBob, what are you doing here? You're gonna cost me some loot if you don't get your square keister home. Out, out, out until your vacation is over.","Oh, what to do on this boring vacation. Hey, I know just the thing to get the ol' spirits up."
"Squidward:  I need 20 Krabby Patties, please.","Sure thing, ol' buddy, ol' Squid. 20 Krabby Patties coming..."
Gary: Meow.,"You're right, Gary. It is unhealthy to think of the Krusty Krab while I'm on vacation. I need to get out of the house."
"Squidward: Uh, Mr. Krabs, he's out there again. Mr. Krabs: I'll deal with this. Boy, you're on Krusty Krab property. Back it up.  Further.  Further.  Further.  Further.  That'll do.","Mr. Krabs is right. In order to enjoy my vacation, I need to stay away from work. Physically and mentally.  Hey, that reminds me of...  Hold it right there, Mr. WorkaholicPants. You're on vacation. You just need to sit down and relax.  That's more like it. Just sit back and watch the clouds.  That one's a jellyfish!  That's a pirate ship.  And that's low salt ketchup...whoa! Low salt ketchup?  Got your steaming, hot bun delivery here."
"Delivery Fish: Huh? What's the big idea, here? Patrick: Hello? Hello? Hello?  Huh, I didn't even know I had an ear.  Hey, I just cleaned that one.","Patrick, shhh."
Patrick: It talks!,"Somebody help, I'm stuck!  Mr. Krabs! Thank Neptune it's you. I'm in a bit of a fix here.  Um, Mr. Krabs?  Noooo!!  Uh oh."
"Mr. Krabs: Now what?  Tsk, tsk, tsk.  I've had enough for one day, son.","Thanks for the ride home, Mr. Krabs."
"Mr. Krabs: Not a problem at all, me boy.","Just take the next right.  Mr. Krabs, we just passed the turn off."
Mr. Krabs: Uh-huh.,"My house is back that way, Mr. K."
"Mr. Krabs: Far out, little man. Far out.",Where'd you say you were taking me?
"Mr. Krabs: Look, boy,  I brought your spatuler.  C'mon, boy, get it. Get the spatuler. Go get it!  Enjoy your vacation, boy!","It's not fair. Why would Mr. Krabs try so hard to get rid of me? I'm only on vacation. Unless, it's a...  ...permanent vacation! That's it! Mr. Krabs wants to replace me. Oh, I should've known! Patrick's had his eye on my job all along! He's been scheming! They think I'm outdated! They think I'm all washed up! Well, I'll show them!"
"Patrick: Working at the Krusty Krab. Making Krabby Patties all day. Flipping Krusty Krab working patties krab...uhh, that's a hard song to remember.  Huh?",Who do they think they are? I gave the best years of my life to this place and they think they can just fire me like that? Like trash? I don't think so!
Patrick: SpongeBob? Is that you?,"I've been waiting for you, Patrick!"
"Patrick: SpongeBob, you're scaring me. Ahh! Squidward: What’ll be? Customer: One Krabby Patty, please. Squidward: One shell on a shingle. Mr. Krabs: Well, I'll be...Patrick! Your cooking's improved one-thousand fold. Congratulations, boy, you've finally got the hang of it.  SpongeBob? No wonder. Patrick could never flip that many patties in an hour. What happened to that feller, anyway?","Oh, I told him to stay home and watch television."
"Mr. Krabs: Why'd you do it, laddy?","Oh, Mr Krabs, I love the putrid grease of the Krusty Krab so much, I just couldn't stay away!"
"Mr. Krabs: You don't have to.  Your accumulated vacation time is used up.  The union can't fine me, anymore.",You must've saved a fortune.
"Mr. Krabs: Bumping barnacles, yes.  There she is.",Wow! That's more than I make in a year.
Mr. Krabs: Don't be askin me for a raise. Just get back to work.,Yippee! I happily acquiesce.
"Patrick: Ahh! Sea spider! Sea spider! Sea spider! Patrick: Back! Back! Patrick: Whoa! Patrick: Oh, boy! Here it is! My lost coupon! I found it! Patrick: You have fought well today, sea spider, and now I must leave. For I am going to use this coupon to get an ice cream for my bestest friend in the whole ocean—um..  Sponge Knob Hair Pants!  Hmm.  Hmm!","Hey, Patrick."
Patrick:  Oh.,What you doin'?
Patrick: I got this here free coupon and I'm gonna get you an ice cream.,"That's nice of you, buddy, but I already got an ice cream."
Patrick: Uh...but I'm getting you an ice cream!,Why would ya? I already got one.
Patrick:  Because I'm a nice guy!,Wow. There goes the nicest guy.
"Patrick: Whoa. Mr. Krabs: Hooray! I win a free coupon! Patrick: H-how did you know about my free coupon? Mr. Krabs: Me back knows.  It breaks out in hives around anything free. Patrick:  Guh. Mr. Krabs: I also know how heavy a free coupon can be. Patrick: It's heavy? Mr. Krabs: Much too much responsibility for a carefree fellow like you. Tell you what. I'll take that free coupon off your hands for the price of a hearty handshake. Patrick: Uh...Oh. Ohh! Oh! SpongeBob does love handshakes. Squidward: You should be ashamed of yourself! Taking advantage of a simpleton. Mr. Krabs: Aww, come on. Can't an old crab have a little unscrupulous fun anymore? Patrick: Hey, you ruined my deal! I almost had a handshake! Squidward:  Oh, you dingdong wing nut! Krabs was just trying to steal your coupon! Patrick: Steal my coupon? Hmm.  You want my ice cream coupon! You can't have it! Dave: Okay. Whatever. Orchid: He never really knew how to sing. Orchid's friend: No! Singers? Patrick: You. Both: Hmm? Patrick: Oh, I see you...peeking at my coupon! It's for SpongeBob's ice cream! Orchid:  Hooray for SpongeBob. Bikini Bottomites: Hey, what's going on here? Patrick: Get away from me! All of you! You're all after my coupon! Bikini Bottomites: Coupon! Coupon! Coupon! Coupon! Coupon! Coupon! Coupon! Coupon! Patrick: No! You can't have my coupon! No! No! Radio Dispatcher: Officer Slugfish? We got a call about a sea star disturbance on your beat. Please investigate. Officer Slugfish: Roger, headquarters. Hey, you. Officer Slugfish: Headquarters? I couldn't catch him. He got away. Little Girl: You're a bad baby! Patrick: Whaa! Thaddeus: Oh, look, honey, it's Bikini Bottom's Sidewalk of the Stars. Nancy Suzy Fish: This one's gruesome. Hmm, looks like some kids' cartoon. Should we take a photo? Thaddeus: Nah, waste of film. Patrick: Ooh.  Ah! Come back!  Ah!  I made it.  It's beautiful. Lou: And a good ice cream day to you, sir. Patrick: Yes, it's a good day for ice cream! Lou: And what's your pleasure? Patrick: Oh, I want your bestest ice cream for my bestest buddy, SpongeBob! Lou: Excellent choice, sir. One Heavenly Paradise coming up. Patrick: SpongeBob won't mind if I just take a little taste. Ice Cream Store Employee: Aw, this coupon's out of date. Expired two years ago. Sorry, we can't honor it. Patrick: No ice cream for SpongeBob? Huh? Patrick: I demand that you honor my coupon! Lou:  Temper tantrum in center aisle! Ice Cream Store Janitor: I'm on it. Patrick: Take my coupon! Take my coupon. Take my coupon. Take my coupon. Ah, take my— Ice Cream Store Janitor: You poor, miserable creature. Patrick: I'm miserable. Ice Cream Store Janitor: You wretched, worthless, shabby— Jimmy Gus: Hey, don't you think you're being a little harsh? Ice Cream Store Janitor: Not really. Look at him. Jimmy Gus:  Uh! Never mind. Continue and bump it up a little bit. Ice Cream Store Janitor: Listen, buddy, there is one person who can honor this coupon; the person who owns this store. The Ice Cream King himself. Patrick: The Ice Cream King? Ice Cream Store Janitor: Oh, yeah. He lives up there in that mansion. Patrick: Wow. Ice Cream Store Janitor: Do you need a push? Patrick: Yeah. Would you, please? Patrick: Hello? Ice Cream King: Are you the exterminator? Patrick: Oh.  No. I'm not the extra gator. I'm here to redeem my coupon for a free ice cream! It's for my bestest friend, but it's out of date. Ice Cream King:  They're all out of date because I don't know what year it is. Patrick: I don't know what anything is. Ice Cream King: Are you smart or dumb? Patrick:  Apples? Ice Cream King: Genius! Let's see your head.  I can't feel your brain. Patrick:  It's down here today. Ice Cream King:  Mine too! High five! Ice Cream King: Secret handshake? Ice Cream King: Perfect! You don't know the secret handshake either. Hey, I don't know your name. Patrick: Hey, you're right! Ice Cream King:  This may still be redeemable according to the fine print. Patrick: I didn't bring my reading eyes. Ice Cream King: Try my glasses! Patrick: Oh, ooh. It says garbaldy goop. Ice Cream King: But spelled backwards is...  Poog Ydlabrag. The King's Challenge! Ice Cream King: Hair growing contest!  Ah-ha! Patrick: Wow. Oh... Ice Cream King: That's sad. Watch this.  Try beating that. Patrick: Oh, man. Ice Cream King: Ha, ha! I beat you. Patrick: Not so fast!  Ha! Can I redeem my coupon now? Ice Cream King: Not just yet. Best two out of three. Both: Ooh. Ice Cream King:  Your butterscotch style is strong, Low Fat, but it is no match for my brownie bits! Patrick: Ha, ha, ha! You'll wish your cone was a cup when I whip you into cream! Hi-ya! Patrick: They told me you had scoops, but your serve is soft. I see you've studied the ancient art of failure!  Redeem my coupon! Ice Cream King:  Think fast—  rainbow sprinkles! Ice Cream King: You have played with skill and courage. I will honor your coupon. Ice Cream King: One free ice cream cone!","Oh, hello, Patrick. What's up?"
"Patrick: I was gonna give you this ice cream,  but it melted. Instead, I got you this hearty handshake.","Aw, I love hearty handshakes, but not as much as I love ice cream! Care to join me?"
"Both: Whoo-hoo! Mr. Krabs: Four hundred and fifty-one, four hundred and fifty-two, four hundred and fifty three, four hundred and fifty four, four hundred and fifty five, four hundred and fifty si...  Ow! No!  Ooh.  I split me nail. Oh, that looks terrible.  Hello? It's an emergency! No, I haven't been biting them!  No! Can you just schedule me in?  Now? A manicure right in the middle of the day?  But what if the guys see me?  Yes, I want my nails to look their best. Be right there.","Ahoy, sir. Where are you going?"
Mr. Krabs: Uh. Heh heh. It's a... it's a secret.,You have a secret?
"Mr. Krabs: Everybody has a secret, SpongeBob, and mine's gonna take 15 minutes.  Maybe 20 if she can spruce up my cubicles.","Aye-aye, sir. And who will be in charge while you're gone."
"Mr. Krabs: Eh,  well, not Squidward.  No, no, him.  Too lumpy.  Okay, okay, you're in charge.",What?
Mr. Krabs: You're in charge for the next 15 minutes.,I'm... in charge?
"Mr. Krabs: Yeah, sure, why not?  You okay, boy?","Yahow!  I won't let you down, sir."
Mr. Krabs: What a sheesh. I'll be back in 15 minutes,"Naptime's over, Squidward. Now what do you say we work real hard until Mr. Krabs comes back?"
Squidward: Krabs is gone?,Yep. And I'm in charge for the next 15 minutes.
Squidward: Wow.,"Yeah, I'm kind of a big deal around here. I guess that's why Krabs put me in charge.  Charge. Charge."
Squidward: Wake me up when I care.,Do you care now?
Squidward: No.,"Heh-heh. Everything is under control, people. Go back to your krabby patties. Nothing your temporary man in charge can't handle.  Squidward? Squidward? Squidward? Squidward? Squid? Squid? Squidward? Squid? Squid?"
Squidward:  What?,"Well, it's just that I'm in charge and..."
Squidward:  And you ruined my regulary scheduled Krusty Krab nap?,Regulary scheduled nap?
Squidward: This must be important. Mr. Krabs has never interrupted one of these before.,Really?
"Squidward: But being as you're the man in charge, you must have your reasons.","Well, I, um..."
Squidward: What is it?,"Um, nothing. Carry on. Boy, there sure is a lot of proceedural type stuff I don't know about the Krusty Krab. Order up, Squidward!"
"Squidward: You know, I'll let you serve this one. My stories are on.","Gosh, I'd love to, Squidward, but I've got to cook the patties."
Squidward: So do it when you're done.,And unclog the sink.
Squidward: Would you like to hear a secret?,What kind of secret?
Squidward: See that guy over there?,Yes?
"Squidward: He wants to be a fry cook, and you're his hero!",Me?
"Squidward: Why don't you give him a couple of pointers. Let him cook his own patty, and don't take no for an answer. He's shy.  This should be good.","Hey, buddy. It's me, SpongeBob, fry cook extraordinaire."
Frank: Uhh... Hello.,I know your secret...
Frank: What? Who told you?,"Oh, a little cashier told me! Follow me!"
"Frank: Yeah, whatever you say, man! Squidward: Moron.","Betcha didn't think you'd be in here today, did ya?"
Frank: No.,"First off, this is my grill. This is where the magic happens! And this is my actual spatula!  So start fryin' up some patties! I'll come check on you later, my little prodigy!"
"Squidward: Ha, ha! SpongeBob will believe anything!",Order #12!
"Squidward: SpongeBob, what're you doing?",Taking out an order!
Squidward: You're serving Krabby Patties with your hands? Do you know how filthy your hands are?,They are?
Squidward: But your feet however are clean. Think about it. Your feet have been protected by your shoes and socks all day.,"Oh! . It's all coming clear to me now.  There you are. A nice hot meal with sanitary foot service. Here's a nice delicious Krabby Patty, and a large drink.  Enjoy."
"Debbie: Hey, is my food here yet? Frankie Billy:  Here. You can have mine. Delivery Man:  Here are the supplies you've order! Squidward: What? Delivery Man: Please sign here.  Hey, my pen. Squidward: Oh, sorry.","Ooh!  It's here, it's here, it's here! Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo it's here!"
Squidward: What is this stuff?,"Now that I'm in charge, I've decided to decorate the Krusty Krab! I'm gonna make it all pretty!"
"Squidward:  Hey, SpongeBob, do you want to hear another Krusty Krab secret?",There's another secret? What's the secret?
Squidward: Do you want to know how Mr. Krabs gets all these customers?,How?
"Squidward: Mr. Krabs keeps this place a dump, so the food's more better by comparison!",Sounds like the Chum Bucket.
"Squidward: Ah, but you'll be doing it on purpose.","Ohhhhh...  How's this, Squidward?"
Squidward: Lookin' good!,"You mean, lookin' bad! Enjoy our fine decor!"
Nat: Next time i'm picking the restaurant.,"One Krusty Krab, covered in mud and slime!"
"Squidward: Mmm, you missed a spot.",Got it!  Gum under all the tables! How's that for low expectations?
Squidward: Lower!,Initiating stage two: collateral damage!  How was that?
Squidward: Perfect!,Ehh...
"Harold: This place is disgusting! Fred: Yeah, let's get out of here, as soon as I finish this delicious Krabby Patty!","Squidward, all the customers are leaving!"
Squidward: What did we talk about?,Don't touch the material.
"Squidward: If you want the customers to stay, you need to provide some entertainment!","Oh, can do, Squidward, can do!"
"Harold: Come on, let's go.",WAIT!!! You don't want to miss... This!
"Debbie: What's he doing? Harold: He's... dancing!  Ok, people, just back away slowly... Mr. Krabs: Ah, there's nothing like polished pincers to make you feel like a man!  Let's see how SpongeBob's doing as acting manager.  What the...??!! SpongeBob dancing like a goofball?","And a hey, and a ho, and a hey and a ho! And a hey, ho, hey, ho, hey, ho, ha, hey, hee, ho..."
"Mr. Krabs: Me customers cowering in fear? Evelyn: Help... us... Mr. Krabs: The Krusty Krab a filthy mess? Frank: Order #20 ready for pickup. Mr. Krabs:  And some stranger cooking Krabby Patties??!!  Squidward sleeping on the job??!! Ok, that's actually normal. SpongeBob! What have ye done to me Krusty Krab!","I was just following Squidward's advice, Mr. Krabs. He told me all your secrets!"
"Mr. Krabs: All my secrets...?  So, is there anything else I can do for you, acting manager SpongeBob?  Ah, Gwenevere!!! Mr. Krabs: What is it, boy? Mr. Krabs:  SpongeBob?  There, there, kid. What's the big deal?","M-M-M-M-Mr. Krabs!  We're all out of Krabby Patties, sir."
"Mr. Krabs: That's nothing to fuss over, boy. We'll just whip up a new batch, like we did in the old days! Mr. Krabs: I know this process like the back of me claw.  We always start with...  ...flour.  Next, we add  barnacle shavings. It's like riding a boat-cycle, ain't it, boy?","You never forget, boss man."
"Mr. Krabs: What do ya say we do the next one together, eh? Template:L2",Turmeric.
"Mr. Krabs: What are you on about, boy? Third step's always sea salt.","That's funny, I remember turmeric third. And doesn't the recipe call for land salt?"
Mr. Krabs: It's sea salt. And don't you remember SCABS?,"Scabs, sir?"
"Yeah, SCABS. You know,  salt comes after barnacle shavings.  Or was it LESIONS? Or wait...  No, that doesn't sound right either.",Was it pustule?
"Mr. Krabs: Heavens, no. That's disgusting. All right, tell you what, why don't I just go fetch the formula? We'll settle this once and for all. Plankton: No need to wonder about this. I got your formula.  Yee-haw! Mr. Krabs: Aren't you getting a little tired of this, Plankton? Plankton: Come on, Krabs, don't you have any respect for tradition? Mr. Krabs: Oh, ho, ho, ho, Of course, I do. That's why I'm doing this. Plankton: Ow. Mr. Krabs: I need to somehow get Plankton to stop comin' after me precious formula.","Hmm, I know! To keep Gary out of the biscuit tin, I hide the biscuits somewhere far away, like Patrick's house. Unfortunately, Patrick ends up eating the biscuits anyway."
"Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, that's it, you genius. You just solved me decades-old dellemer.","I'm warning you, Mr. Krabs, Patrick'll eat anything you give him!"
"Elaine: Breaking news!  Earlier today, Mr. Eugene Krabs, proprietor of the Krusty Krab restaurant, parted  with his beloved secret formula. We now go to Perch Perkins live on the scene. Perch Perkins: Thanks, Elaine. Just moments ago, Eugene Krabs sent his famously delicious secret Krabby Patty formula packing. Mr. Krabs: Take care of yourself, little formula.","Good-bye, secret recipe!"
"Perch Perkins:  We wanted to ask Mr. Eugene Krabs  what compelled him to take such drastic measures. Mr. Krabs: Well, it's simple, Perch.  It seems keeping me secret formula in hand has proven to be all too temptin' for a  certain diminutive one-eyed criminal element of society. So, I finally got him in full retreat. Mr. Krabs: All right, boy, let's get back to making them patties.",I believe we were at turmeric.
"Mr. Krabs: Boy, I thought I told you--","Oh, no we forgot to look at the..."
"Mr. Krabs: Formula, yeah.",And that formula is...
"Mr. Krabs: On the opposite side of the ocean, yeah.  And now I've gotta go  all  the way  there  to  get it.","Mr. Krabs, I'll do it. Send me to retrieve that formula."
Mr. Krabs: Think you're up for the challenge?,Uh-huh.
"Mr. Krabs: Well, all right then,  the formula is now stowed in a safe-deposit box in the ocean's largest, safest bank  in Way-far-out-town-ville.","Ah, and that's the key to the box, eh, Mr. Krabs?"
"Mr. Krabs: This, No. This is the key to me heart?  This is the safe-deposit box key.","Oh, thank you Mr.--"
"Mr. Krabs:  Not so fast, kid. I want you to protect this at all costs. You mustn't let it out of your sight. I now bestow unto you the key to the future of The Krusty Krab.",I humbly accept this key and vow to guard it with my very life. (takes the key) It shan't leaveth my sight.
"Mr. Krabs: (Plankton hears the conversation with some technology of his) Good, let's get you over at the train station. Plankton: This is too easy. Karen, I'm off on a business trip. Don't wait up for me, baby. (cuts to train station)",The Oceanic Express. (train whistles) Wish me luck.
"Mr Krabs: Remember what I told you, boy? Keep your eye on the key. Oran J. Roughy: I can take your luggage for you, sir. (grabs Patrick) Please follow me.","Wow, a real-life butler."
Oran J. Roughy: I am not a butler. Train Conductor: All aboard!,"Bye, Mr. Krabs!"
"Mr. Krabs: Good luck, me boy! Don't let me down! (train starts to leave as a bus drives up) Plankton: (gets out of bus and runs up to the train) Wait! Wait for me! (sighs) Barnacles, I knew I should have sprung for a taxi! Curse you public transport! Why I oughta-- (train steam sends Plankton onto the road when a bus immediately smashes him) Oh, now they're on time... Uh-uh... (cut to inside of train) Oran J. Roughy: Your sleeping quarters. (tosses Patrick in there) I trust everything is to your liking.","Couldn't be better, butler."
Oran J. Roughy: Ahem. Perhaps Monsieur did not hear me. I trust everything is to your liking.,"Oh, oh yes, of course! How silly of me."
"Oran J. Roughy: An honest mistake, monsieur.","Thank you, my good man. (hands the butler a used, plastic burrito wrapper) I've been hunting for a trash can for at least ten minutes. Thanks again, French guy."
Patrick: Peek-a-boo!,"Hey Patrick, remember, we're on an important mission here. So keep your eyes open for any suspicious characters."
"Patrick: (Patrick's reflection in the mirror gets an angry face while the real Patrick asks SpongeBob a question) SpongeBob, does that guy look suspicious to you? (looks back at the reflection) I think he might be spying on us. (Patrick's reflection goes away) Hey, where'd he go!? All this suspicious thing is making me hungry. (Rubs his tummy)","Well, then follow me to the dining car."
Plankton: (climbs on top of a bus) Looks like it's starting to roll my way for a change. And nothing dares stand in my way! (Plankton jumps) Uh-oh. (An 18-wheeler blocks his way and he splatters on the windshield. The driver is disgusted by the large green smear and turns on the wipers to scrape squashed Plankton off. He floats on down to the train) I knew I'd make it... (cut to the dining car),Ooh Fancy.
"Patrick : Yeah. And they gave you so much food, you need 2 forks. (baby heard crying)","Aw, what a cute little baby. No need to fuss, little fella."
Nanny: I just can't get him to stop crying. The poor dear.,"(sits down) Hi again, kind butler."
Employee: (sighs) So sorry monsieur. The dining car is closed now.,(looks at watch) But we haven't even heard the specials yet.
"Employee: No, the dining car is over for you. You must leave now. (pushes SpongeBob away. He trips over a purse. A lady picks him up)","Oh, sorry, ma'am."
"Miss McGuffin: That's quite alright, handsome. (cut to a train terrace)","Huh, friendly lady. Well, Patrick, we'd better find a safe place to store this for the night. (SpongeBob is holding the key but it's not there)"
Patrick: What is that?,"That my dear Patrick is—the key! (sees it missing) Patrick, where is the key? Oh, no, I took a solemn oath. (Plankton is walking by angrily) Plankton! You stole the safety-deposit key."
"Plankton: Oh, come on, I just got here. I couldn't have stolen it—yet.","Oh yeah? Well no offense, but I don't believe you."
Plankton: You calling me a liar?,"Yes. Search him, Patrick."
"Patrick: (puts on latex gloves) With pleasure. Prepare for a thorough search, shorty. Plankton: Oh, drat. Patrick: (picks up bowl) Just after I scrub this bowl. (scrubs bowl) Alright, Plankton, time to squeeze the key out of you. (takes out some clamps. Plankton gasps) After my tasty snack. (uses the clamp to crush the nut. Plankton runs and screams) He's clean. (drops Plankton) Plankton: (grunts) I told you I wasn't lying.","Well, if you didn't steal it, then who did? It must've been someone on this train. Patrick, call the cops."
"Patrick: (puts his head out the window) Cops, I need you! (cut to the Krusty Krab) Crowd: (chanting) We want Krabby Patties! We want Krabby Patties! We want Krabby Patties! We want Krabby Patties! We want Krabby Patties! Customer: Just give me a patty, man. Squidward: For the last time, we're out of patties. (customers shout) No need to get excited now. Customer: We want our patties, man. (destroys the cash register) Squidward: That's Krusty Krab property. (another customer rips off a pole) That's a load-bearing column. (customer swings the pole at Squidward. He ducks) Hurry, SpongeBob. (cut to train being stopped and all riders are outside the train)","As you know, an unspeakable crime has been committed here today and each of you have the means to do it. The question is who? You there, you're not fooling me with that innocent act. (SpongeBob points at the baby) Where were you at 6:42pm on the night of January 16? And don't give me that goo-goo-ga-ga stuff."
Plankton: Oh brother.,Mr. Police Commissioner?
"Commissioner: Yes, Mr. SquarePants?",I sub-- (turns around and walks into the policeman) I submit to you that the perpetrator of this heinous theft is none other than...the nanny.
Nanny: (nervous chuckling) I haven't stolen a thing.,"Sir, if you search this baby's diaper, you'll find the stolen key."
"Commissioner: Yes, Mr. SquarePants. (uses tongs to dig into the diaper. A metal sound clinks) Aha!",The key!
"Commissioner: (uses tongs to take out a huge diamond) At least I found it. Thank you, Mr. SquarePants. You uncovered Neptune's jewel of the sea and nabbed the infamous Jewel Triplets Gang.",Triplets?
"Baby Triplet: (deep voice) I told you taking the train was a mistake. Triplet #2: (reveals himself being the legs of the nanny) Well, we wouldn't be on the lam if you hadn't applied for that discount card. Baby Triplet: Well, can I help it if I'm frugal? Commissioner: Tell it to your cellmate, junior. (handcuffs the baby)",If they didn't do it...that means the key was stolen by...the butler.
Oran J. Roughy: (sighs) I certainly did not.,We know you did it. The butler always commits the crime.
"Oran J. Roughy: For the last time, I am not a butler. I don't even have the butler accent. Patrick: You may not be a butler, but are you a werewolf? (there is a full moon. A fish walks up and grows hair and changes into a werewolf. He howls and runs off) Plankton: Okay, butler, you may have hoodwinked the sponge, but I ain't no pushover! (gets hit with a piece of popcorn from Patrick) Patrick: Sorry. (chomps on his popcorn) Plankton: Anyway, since you didn't steal the key, then you'd obviously submit to a search of your cabin. Oran J. Roughy: I do not have a cabin. I sleep on the luggage. Plankton: Aha, that's how you stole it! Give it to me. Give me the key.","Need I remind you, Plankton, that you are still a suspect yourself."
"Plankton: Uh, I-I mean, give SpongeBob back the key.","I don't believe either of you. Shake 'em down. (a big muscular police officer comes and turns the butler upside-down and shakes him. Plankton falls on the ground and gets hit with a nail clipper, a hammer, and an anvil from the butler's pockets)"
"Keystone Cop: Nothing suspicious here. (the butler's mask falls off) Except for the fact that you just outed Oran J. Roughy, international fugitive wanted for the embezzlement of over 75,000 bucks worth of ham sandwiches. (Patrick screams)","After all this, I still haven't found the key and I broke my vow to Mr. Krabs. (sobs) I don't deserve to work at the Krusty Krab."
"Patrick: (picking his teeth with the key) Don't worry, buddy. I'm sure it'll turn up.",The key! Patrick! Where in the ocean's depth did you find it?
Patrick: I found it when I was cleaning your shorts from your little accident earlier.,"Well, that is great news."
"Patrick: (yawns) Anyways, I'm gonna hit the sack. I'm pooped. I'm sure you can relate.","Uh, yeah, me, too. (runs up into the train)"
"Plankton: (hiding behind the door hinges) Me, three. (laughs. Cut to the train moving. SpongeBob and Patrick are grunting as they try to get cozy in their very tight space of cabin) Patrick: Say, would you mind scooching over? I can't even move my eyebrows.","I'm trying. Sheesh, this isn't exactly a luxury suite."
"Plankton: Here, maybe I can help. (opens window. SpongeBob and Patrick stick out their tongues like dogs)",(sighs) Fresh water.
"Patrick: What a cool view. Plankton: Yeah, have a better look. (hits them both with a 2x4, sending them out of the train and down a sandy hill. Train whistles) And thanks for the key! Patrick: Well, I guess he lost us. You ready to call it a day, SpongeBob? (SpongeBob runs off) Guess not. (runs after him)","Okay, Patrick, on the count of three, we'll jump on, okay?"
"Patrick: Gotcha, pal. Oh, wait, I can't count that high. Can we just jump on the count of one?","That'll work, too. Okay, on the count of one—what the? (they come to a cliff. The train is still riding off)"
"Patrick: Great, now what?","Patrick, hop up on my back."
"Patrick: Well, I don't think this is the right time for a piggyback ride.",Just do it.
"Patrick: Okay. But I don't see how this is gonna get us any closer to the tr-- (screams. SpongeBob jumped off the cliff) Are you crazy?! Please! I'm sorry for any grief I've caused you! Don't do it, please! (crying. SpongeBob flips onto Patrick's back and turns himself into a hang-glider) Hey, we're flying!","There you go, buddy. (sets Patrick on top of the train. They both go into the train in search of Plankton) Oh, Plankton!"
Patrick: You can't hide forever. (both yelp as a bunch of luggage falls on them) Plankton: Looks like you've got a lot on your mind. (Plankton runs off. SpongeBob and Patrick chase after him through many train doors of the caboose and the passenger coaches and head through the coal tender and enter the engine's cabin),"Alright, Plankton, end of the line! (sees the train controls, only to find that Plankton is not there) Plankton!"
"Plankton: Over here, choo-choo heads. (laughs as he closes the door and then separates the train by uncoupling the tender, passenger coaches, and caboose from the engine) Patrick: That was odd.","Yeah, and Plankton still has the key. (sees the engine leaving the train behind) Patrick, we've got a big problem. Look."
"Patrick: Hey, where'd all those—those shiny tubes?","That's just it, Patrick, they aren't there."
"Patrick: Hmm. In that case... (both he and SpongeBob scream. Back to the other train parts with the tender, passenger coaches, and caboose) Fish #1: Hey, what's going on? Fish #2: I've got places to be. Fish #3: Let's go already! Plankton: (opens one of the train doors and we see Far-Out-Ville and the bank across the way) It's too easy. (back to the head of the train)","Patrick, we have to stop this thing! Go see if you can do something with that stuff. I'll try and get the door open."
"Patrick: What do I do? What do I do? (reads the brake signal) B-R-A-K-E. BREAK. I can do that. Well, SpongeBob, I think our troubles are over. (shows the brake signal in his hand that he just broke)",(peers back and screams in fear when he sees that Patrick has broken the brake signal off) You broke the brake?
Patrick: It told me to.,"What do we do now? (starts pushing the buttons and messing around with the controls) Oh, one of these thingama-hoozies has to stop the train. Patrick, try something!"
"Patrick: I'm on it. (starts shoveling coal into the engine's firebox) Maybe shoveling in these black rocks will help. (The train engine overheats and runs out of control as if it might fall apart. At a train signal station, SpongeBob and Patrick signal for help over the radio) SpongeBob & Patrick: We're on an out-of-control train! (man spits out his coffee) Man: This is control station to engine five. Do you copy?","Oh, uh, yes, sir. I copy. I'm SpongeBob and I'm on an out-of-control train."
"Man: Kid, let me talk to the engineer.","Um, who?"
Man: The guy driving the train.,"Oh, uh, th-that would be me. And Patrick's here, too. Say hi to the nice gentleman, Patrick."
Patrick: Hi.,"Oh, the back of the train is gone!"
"Man: Oh, no. (looks at map) The train's headed straight for the rest home. (picture of Rest Home) And that means...","Means what? Means what? What does that mean, mister?"
"Man: (snaps on helmet) It means that train's coming right through that-- (the train engine crashes through the train depot) Beware the twisted trestles, kid! (lets go of the train engine)",What is that?
"Man: (points) That's that. (the train engine does some loop-de-loops. SpongeBob and Patrick cheer and laugh) SpongeBob & Patrick: (sigh) That was fun. Patrick: Now, where were we? Oh, yeah. I'll save us! (runs faster than the engine and holds up a 'STOP' sign. The train keeps going. Patrick tries again but uses a lemonade stand) Ice-cold lemonade! Get your ice-cold, tasty, refreshing, and also ice-cold lemon... (groans. The train engine passes by) Hey! Everyone stops for free lemonade! (runs past the train again)","'Attaboy, Patrick. Don't give... (Patrick puts down a giant piece of coral rock. The overheating engine flips around and slides on the tracks)"
"Patrick: Hey. Hey, wait for me... (climbs into the engine's cabin) Hey, SpongeBob! (the train engine crashes through a tunnel)",Whoa! Whoa! (the overheating train engine is getting near the Rest Home)
"Rest Home Citizen: There's a train behind you. Rest Home Citizen #2: How many times do you think I'm falling for that one? Patrick: Hey, would you quit messing around? You're making me sick. (the train engine stops before hitting the Rest Home. One of the citizens peeks at the other ones cards) Rest Home Citizen #2: Hey! (SpongeBob and Patrick sigh)","Sorry, oldsters, we'd love to stay and help you clean up the mess, but we've got a formula to save. (the train engine starts again but back toward Far-Out-Ville)"
"Patrick: Hmm. (reads the throttle letters) T-H-R-O-T-T-L-E. Break! I can do that. (breaks the throttle handle. Walks up to SpongeBob) You didn't need this, did you? (The engine starts to increase its speed and go faster and faster. Cut to the bank) Plankton: Hee hee hee hee hee. Ha ha ha ha ha. (uses ladder to get up to the safe-deposit box) Come to papa! (opens box and gets formula) At last, my day of triumph has come! Again. Mr. Krabs: Well, well. (turns on a light) Plankton: What? B-b-but how? Mr. Krabs: You honestly didn't think I would have left you out of this elaborate equation, did you? Plankton: I can explain, Eugene. I, uh, I was just keeping it warm for you. Yeah. Mr. Krabs: (laughs) Sure. I believe ya. (grabs Plankton) Say, since you went through all the trouble of getting here, there you go, Plankton. (as he puts Plankton in his safe-deposit box, Plankton jumps out and gets the formula) Enjoy the scenery. Hey, where'd he go? Plankton: Checkmate, Krabs! (laughs evilly. The runaway engine runs into the bank and squishes Plankton) Ow. Mr. Krabs: Good job, boyo.","I simply refused to fail, sir."
"Bank Teller: (clears throat) That's all very wonderful, but do you mind telling me how you intend to pay for the damage to the bank? Mr. Krabs: Uh... You know, I just remembered, I'm late for a very important meetin'! Take care of it, will ya boy? Bank Teller: (grabs Mr. Krabs) Not so fast, Krabs. Looks like you have just enough in your bank account to cover the cost. Mr. Krabs: Noooooooooooooooo! Narrator: 75 years later...",(now old and in a futuristic Bikini Bottom) And that was the story of the great train caper. Didn't you find it exciting?
"SpongeBob's Grandson: (playing a game) Shh! I just beat my high score! Oh, yeah!","Kids today. (snores) Whoo! Yeah!  Oh, oh!  Oh!  Ooh!  Oh!"
"Squidward: SpongeBob, I need—  Whoa. Sponge—","Patty, no!  Oh, I can't quite reach it."
"Mr. Krabs:  Listen here, boy-o! As long as that patty's stuck in the chimney, it's money outta me pocket! You're gonna have to go up there and fish it out.","Oh, boy! Looks like I'm taking my career to new heights.  Meep! All right, chimney, prepare to be swept.  There you are!  Good as new!  Hold on, patty! I've got you!  No!"
"Mr. Krabs: Okay, SpongeBob. Time to come back down and get to work so I can garnish your wages for wasting that patty! Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob?","Oh, you know, I think I'll just stay up here for a while. It's such a nice day, and all."
"Mr. Krabs: Nonsense, boy-o. Just climb on down!","No, I'm good!"
"Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, I order you to come down here immediately! Sandy: Don't worry, I'll get him down with my newest invention: Extend-O-Boots. I just press this button, and...  Whoa!  Sorry, I haven't worked out all the kinks yet!  Whoa, whoa, whoa! Whoa-oh-oh!  Whoa! Squidward: What the— Mr. Krabs: So, uh... anybody else got an idea? Patrick: It's okay, I got him!  Hey, SpongeBob. Whatcha doing wa-a-ay up here?  Let's climb down now.","Aw, thanks, Patrick, but you go on ahead.  I just can't do it. It's too far down!"
"Patrick: Aw, don't worry, SpongeBob. Your old pal Patrick has another plan to get you off this roof.",Really?
Patrick: Sure. Just do what I do.  Hm...  Ow!,"Uh, never mind, Patrick. I think I'll stay where I am. Hey, it's not so bad up here. Pretty great, really. I sure do miss my friends, though. Hey, maybe I can see them from up here. Ooh, looks like Squidward has a date. Good for him. It can be so tough to put yourself out there.  Oh, no. Poor Squidward. He's all alone!  Ah!  Don't worry, friend. I'm here for you."
"Squidward: Hm? Oh! Oh, that feels good.  Huh?!","Hmm, maybe he's hungry.  Come on, Squidward! Eat your...  Ow, hand cramp! Hand cramp! Hand cramp!  Ow-ow-ow-ow!  Guess he wasn't hungry after all. I guess there's nothing left to do but go to sleep.  Oh, I wish I had my bed...  Hey, that gives me an idea. Uh-huh.  Oh, yeah. Perfect. Good night...  nobody."
"Mr. Krabs: Yoo-hoo, SpongeBob! Time to wake up!","Oh, morning, Mr. Krabs."
"Mr. Krabs:  I've come up with a solution for your little roof problem, boy-o! Mr. Krabs: Now you can cook even if you can't get back down.","Oh, thank you, Mr. Krabs."
Mr. Krabs: Now start making me money!,"Oh, Grilly, I thought I'd never see you again!  Something still doesn't feel right, though. Perfect! Just like my old kitchen.  I'm ready!  Squidward, order's up! Oh, yeah. I'm stuck up on this roof. Hmm...how do I get these patties down to the customers?  Eureka!"
"Customers: We paid for patties, Krabs! Where's our food? Mr. Krabs: Hey, calm down, everyone. I'm sure we can figure something out that doesn't involve violence or...refunds. Gus:  Hey, outside! It's raining Krabby Patties! Squidward and Mr. Krabs: Huh? Umpire: Safe! Jennifer Millie: I'll take one Krabby Patty and a drink, please.  I said, And a drink! Frankie Billy:  Huh?  These are cold! I paid for a hot meal. Customers: Yeah! Frankie Billy: Maybe if we go up there, we can get 'em fresh! Norma Rechid: To the roof! Customers: Yeah!",Whoa! I better make more room up here.
"Mr. Krabs: You know, boy-o, at first I just thought you were being a lily-livered, spineless, crybaby, scardey-pants, invertebrate loser.  But this rooftop restaurant of yours really has me business booming!",Wish you could've talked Squidward into joining us up here.
"Squidward: Finally, this place has some class. I might actually enjoy working here now. Mr. Krabs: Ten more patties, SpongeBob!","You got it, Mr. K. Aw..."
"Mr. Krabs:  No, no—me money! Customer:  Hey, I just realized being outside is awful! Fred: Rain? But we're under— Mr. Krabs: Wait, wait, don't go!  A little wind never hurt anyone! Patrick: Whoa, whoa!  Ow! Mr. Krabs:  SpongeBob, we're losing 'em. Do something!","Aye-aye, sir!"
"Mr. Krabs: It's beautiful, boy-o! Henry-Bart: Yeah, it's pretty nice, but now that we're not outside, I'm starting to get bored. Customers: Yeah, so...",Wait! You can't be bored when there's dancing!  Whoo!
Customers: He's right!,Hooray! We're not on the roof anymore!
"Mr. Krabs: You know, after all that dancing and partying today, tomorrow's gonna feel like starting a new business!",And I'm looking forward to getting in on the ground floor with you!
"Squidward: Time to go home already?  Ow. Karen: Another bag of chum...  Bleh, now to shape this into his Highness' dinner request. Plankton:  Almost done. Karen:  Here you go. Eat up. Plankton: What's this supposed to be? Karen: Chum seaweed, chum pot pie, chum con coral, and chum tea. Also known as dinner. Plankton: Karen, your memory banks are gumped up again. I did not request chum pot pie. I requested chum stir fry. Karen: Well, I told you months ago that my memory is full but you've been too busy with your latest project. So tell me, Plankton, how do you plan on failing to steal the Krabby Patty formula this time? Plankton: Computer wife, don't start with me! This plan is foolproof I tell you, foolproof!  Not only will I soon grasp the formula, but I'll get rid of your bad memory as well. Plankton: Karen, I want you to meet my new computer wife! Plankton: Karen 2! Karen:  Karen 2?! I've been...replaced?! Plankton: I'm afraid so. But can you blame me? She's got triple the processing, all the latest software, and a sleek space-age design.  The whole package! Karen: I can't believe this! And after all I've done for you! You dumped me for this cheap pile of plastic?! Plankton: Well, I had to cut cost somewhere. Karen 2.0: Who are you calling cheap?! At least I don't rust! Karen: You know, you're going to wish that you'd deleted that comment! Plankton: Hey, come on, babe. Don't take it so hard. You'll find love again. Maybe you'll meet a nice...uh...adding machine. Karen: Oh that does it! Plankton: Oh, why did I program her with a jealousy scheduler. Plankton: And why did I outfit her with a molecular re-arranger ray? Karen: Here's your stir fry, little man! Plankton: Uh, uh. Let's not do something we might regret! Karen: You should know regret's the one thing you left out of my operating system! Plankton: Huh, what happened? Karen 2.0: I accessed the Chum Bucket's power grid, remotely cutting off Karen's power at the source. Plankton: Ha! Karen 2, I knew you were special the moment I laid eye on your motherboard! Goodbye, Karen Classic,  hello, Karen 2! Mr. Krabs: Ah, the end of another lucrative work day, SpongeBob.","Yes, the end.  Quitting time is almost too much to bear."
"Mr. Krabs: Seriously, son, you gotta lighten up. Well, good night, kiddo.","Good night, sir.  See ya tomorrow."
"Mr. Krabs: Yes, sir, sure as the sea's wet.","Catcha later, so long. Bye Bye  Toodaloo! Whoa!"
"Mr. Krabs: Phew, would be the first I've been saved by a pile of trash.",This isn't a pile of trash.  It's a free computer system.
Mr. Krabs:  Free! Now what kind of barnacle would throw out a perfectly good computer?,"Judging from our location, I'd say Plankton."
Mr. Krabs: Huh. He always has been a knucklehead.,Could this be one of Plankton's elaborate ruses?
"Mr. Krabs: Perhaps. But who could pass up a free computer?  Let's plug her in, see what she can do. Mr. Krabs: She's loading up. Now let's see how this dial up thingy works.  This thing does text mails right?","Yeah, I think so."
"Mr. Krabs: Oh, that sounds promising. Mr. Krabs: Our computer's suppose to emote? No need to cry, little lady. Karen: Don't tell me not to cry! Mr. Krabs: She's malfunctioning!",Must be the dial-up thingy!
"Mr. Krabs: You're right, must be interfering with her circuitry! Karen: Oh it's not the dial-up thingy. It's Plankton, he dumped me for a newer piece of hardware. Mr. Krabs: Help me out here, buddy.","Hey, there. Dry those computer tears. I'm sure you two will get back together. Plankton just need some time to realize how much he needs you. I mean, you guys were made for each other. Well, you were made more for him and more specifically by him, and now, he's built someone with more modern features who's better in every way. There's no- what was my point again?"
"Karen:  You men are all alike! Mr. Krabs: Wait! Where ya goin’? Smooth, SpongeBob, real smooth.  Let's talk this out.","Careful, Mr. Krabs. This still could be a ruse. Karen's loyalty maybe still be with Plankton."
"Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, what part of free computer are you not understanding? Plankton: Tonight, we celebrate, and tomorrow, the secret formula. Karen: I don't ever want to see that low life again as long as I live. Goodbye, you miserable little bug! Mr. Krabs: Well, in the case, welcome aboard!",All right!
"Mr. Krabs: Yeehaw! Squidward: Huh? Karen: Welcome to the Krusty Krab. May I take your order? Squidward: My order? Mr. Krabs: I see Squidward must not have gotten the last company text mail. Karen will be taking over your duties from now on, Mr. Squidward. She's efficient and more importantly: I don't have to pay her. Squidward: So, I'm fired? No more taking orders?  No more interacting with customers? No more SpongeBob?! I'm free! Ha Ha! I'm free!  Whoo. Mr. Krabs: Not so fast, Mr. Squidward. Ivy (gray): Hi there, can I get a Krabby Patty and a side of coral bits please? Karen: You'll get your Krabby Patty when I'm good and ready!  Sorry, I'm just...  ...going through a lot emotionally, right now.","Well, you know what cheers me up when I'm feeling down?"
Karen: You defragment your hard drive?,"No, putting in a hard days work at the greatest job in the world: The Krusty Krab."
"Plankton: Hey, what's the hold up, Karen 2? That secret formula's not going to steal itself, you know. Karen 2.0: I'm trying to open the door. You didn't exactly design me with arms, you know. Plankton: Yes, I suppose that's true. All right, I got this.  What's she doing here? Karen, working at the Krusty Krab? What the?! Karen: Well, if it isn't Little Miss Home-Wrecker. Karen 2.0: And if it isn't the washed up analog has-been. Karen: Analog? Who you calling analog?! Karen 2.0: I see you've taken your proper role as a Cash Machine. Karen: At least I don't look like I was designed to be a glorified vacuum cleaner! Karen 2.0: Well, at least I can say I was designed. Karen:  Why I oughta...! Karen 2.0: You rusty bucket of bolts. Karen: You glorified toaster oven! Karen 2.0: You poor excuse for a house wife. Nazz-Mini: Hey, what's going on? Dave: I don't know, but my money's on the one with the chrome back side. Mr. Krabs: Seriously? Did you just say money? Mr. Krabs: Welcome to the fight of the century! Where for only $5.99, and the purchase of two Krabby Patties, you will plead the answer to the age-old question. Which is superior? High-speed integrated circuits? Karen 2.0: Prepare to have your motherboard rattled. Mr. Krabs: ...Or old-school vacuum tubes and diodes? Karen: You're about to have your cookies crumbled! Karen 2.0: Bring it. Plankton: Wait! This isn't getting me any closer to the formula. Karen: Karen 2.0: That will defrag your algorithms. Plankton: Ow! Karen 2.0: Plankton? Karen:  Stop! He's hurt! Karen 2.0: You're throwing in the towel? Karen: You heartless homepage-wrecking hussy! Karen: No one runs down my man. Planky, say something... Plankton: Take me home, baby... Karen: Even though you are a tiny green loser, I could never stay...  ... mad  ...at  ...you. Plankton: Karen! Don't you leave me, Karen. Not again! Plankton: I hope this works... Oh, Karen, please wake up! I promise never to take you for granted again! Karen:  What happened? Plankton: I had a reality check, that's what happened. Plankton: Come on. Let's go home to the Chum Bucket, honey. Karen: I had the strangest dream. I dreamt there were two of me! Plankton: Two of you? Heh, well that is strange. Mr. Krabs: Oh, great. There goes me revenue. What am I gonna do now?","Well, we could rebuild Karen 2."
"Patrick: ♪Makin' it clean, and livin' a dream. Makin' a scene, I'm makin' it clean, I'm makin' it clean. I'm makin' it clean!♪","Hey, buddy, what are you cleaning for?"
Patrick: ‘Cause I'm expecting some very important company.,Who's that?
"Patrick: My big sister, Sam!","Wow, I didn't know you had a sister!"
Patrick:  Nobody does.  I lost her in the surf when we were kids.,"Gee, I'm sorry, Patrick."
Patrick: Sam took care of me when I was just nursing on coral. She was my... my... my... rock!,"It's gonna be okay... you're gonna see her again... today... right... today? Come on... cheer up, buddy. Hey, I'll make sure her visit here will be extra super special, no matter what!"
"Patrick: Thanks, man, you're right. I can't wait to make up for our lost years! Squidward:  Would you two pipe down! Patrick: Sorry, I was getting my place ready for my sister. Squidward: Well, I hope she's not as obnoxious as you. Sam: Squidward: Patrick: ...Sam! Sam:  Brubber! Patrick: Sis! Sam: Patrick: It's so good to see you. Sam: You. Sister Sam. Have much catch up to do. Patrick: Wow, you pack a wallop, sis. Sam, this is my best friend, SpongeBob.","Yeah, Patrick and I go back a long way.  Yeah long way, heh heh, go back."
"Patrick: Let’s go inside and play. Sam: House too small. Make bigger. Patrick: Hey, great idea! I'll just go and get some tools and- Sam: No. Patrick: Huh? Sam: I have tools right here. Squidward: Oh, dear Neptune. Didn't you hear me- Sam: Patrick: Thanks, sis! Sam: Sister Sam loves to make rock for brubber. Squidward: Well, make rock some where else. My house is full of sand. Sam: If big nose no like sand, big nose move! Squidward: This is way beyond my property line. Hey, Patrick, that oaf makes a better bulldozer than a sister!  Construction humor. Sam:  No laughing!","No, no, don't be upset with Squidward. He doesn't mean it, don't you, Squidward?"
"Squidward: Oh, I mean it, alright. She's a big buffoon, just like Patrick. Except bigger, and dumber, and bufoonier. Sam:","Oh, Squidward, you jokester."
"Tuck: Golly-doo-diddley, Clem, that was a nice toss. Clem: Wasn't me, Tuck. My money's on the little missie over yonder. Patrick: Awwww, hey, sis, don't listen to those... meanies. Hey, the new rock is looking kinda... boring. What do you say we decorate it? Sam: Blecorate? Patrick: You can call it whatever you like, sis, as long as we make it spiffy! Squidward: Sam: Make new house spiffy.  Spiffy! Squidward: Hey, you can't do that, that's my window! Sam:  Blecorate. Patrick: That's the spirit, Sis. Squidward: Oh no. That is definitely not the spirit, Patrick. Your sister is out of control! Patrick: Hey, just mind your own business and let us blecorate in peace! Squidward: You can blecor-decorate until the sea cows come home for all I care, just don't use my property to do it! Sam:  More spiffy! Squidward: But that's from...  My house! That's it! I've had my fill of this thieving brute! Patrick: How dare you call my sister a thief, just because she took some of your things...","Easy now, gents, let's not let tempers flare. Now don't you think, Patrick, it's a teensie bit unfair that sister Sam dismantled Squidward's house?"
"Patrick: No I don't. Not even a teensie, eensie, teensie bit. I see now that you've turned against my sister, you've turned on your best friend as well!","It's not like that at all, Patrick. I was just-"
"Sam: Shush! Meanies make brubber's eyes water!  Meanies go home! Patrick: Come on, sis. They won't bother us under our rock. Sam: Meanies is mean. . Squidward:","Squidward... wait, Squidward, w-wait! Before you do anything too rash, let me try to talk to them."
Squidward: The time for talk is over! Now is the time for action!  A rock made of sand by two idiots is no match for one carved from the...  tides of time!,I don't think you should do that.
"Squidward: Who cares what you think?! If it's destruction they want, then it's destruction they'll get! Sam: Who makes noise?  Spiffy broken!  Sister mad!","Now, Sam, it's not what it seems. Squidward was just rearranging the spiffy."
Sam:  Sister Sam rearrange now!,Please don't.
Sam:,"Well, Squidward, at least on the bright side it will motivate you to finally take care of that kitchen remodeled. Right, Squidward?  Huh? Must be getting started."
Squidward: Patrick and Sam:  Huh?!,"Squidward, Squidward stop!  Just calm down, buddy. Let's ease that tentacle off of the accelerator, hmmm?"
"Squidward: Oh, you mean like this?  Sweeeet destruction! Sam:  That'll teach those meanies. Patrick: Your still my rock big, sis.","Patrick, I think your sister's temper is getting out of control."
"Patrick: SpongeBob, why are you still saying mean things about Sam?!",She destroyed my house in a fit of rage! She needs to control her temper!
"Patrick: Well, I guess she can get a little carried away. Sam: What Patrick doing? Why Patrick talk to meanies? Patrick: Well uh...well...well it's about your temper, Sam. Sam: No have temper! That make sister Sam SO mad! Sister Sam put on mean face!  Now smash brubber's house! Patrick: Not the rock! Sam:  Patrick? Little Brubber? Little Brubber no wake.",Patrick?
"Patrick:  Cookie Dough! Sam: Patrick Ok! Sister Sam feel bad. Sorry she hurt Patrick. Should protect little brubber. She go now. Patrick: Sis, wait! Hold on! Aw, don't feel sad. You don't have go! Sam: Yes, Sister Sam must go. Late for manicure.   Bye, brubber! Patrick: Bye, sis. Sam: Patrick: Isn't my sister something?","Aw, she's something, all right!"
"TV Announcer: Mermaid Man: Fleet and forceful. With the ability to assemble and charge the creatures of the deep. Mermaid Man: By the power of Neptune! TV Announcer: Mermaid Man, with his young associate Barnacle Boy, fights for all creatures who live in the sea, against the forces of evil. Villain:  Oh, no! The Raging Whirlpool! TV Announcer: Mermaid Man! Champion of the deep. SpongeBob and Patrick: Yay! Champion of the deep! Woo!","Come on, Barnacle Boy. There's evil afoot."
"Patrick:  Leaping lampreys, Mermaid Man! I'm right behind you!","Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy spot their arch enemy, Reflecto, up to no good."
"Squidward:  Fun, fun.",You know what this means...
Patrick: Donuts! SpongeBob and Patrick: Oohhh...,By the power of Neptune!
"SpongeBob and Patrick: Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy, UNITE!","Creatures of the deep, assemble!  Think... harder... Barnacle Boy...  Here they come! Blast, Reflecto has become too powerful."
Squidward:  What the? Ohh!,"If Reflecto is cut off from sunlight, he becomes weak."
"Patrick: Jumping jellyfish, Mermaid Man. He's destroying the shield!","Quick, Barnacle Boy, back to the sea cave."
"Patrick: Right, Mermaid Man. Squidward: SpongeBob!  SpongeBob, open up!",Reflecto has found our secret lab.
Patrick: What would the real Mermaid Man do? Squidward: Why don't you go ask him yourself?,"Elaborate, you vile fiend!"
Squidward: He and Barnacle Boy live in the retirement home on the other side of town.,"Hmm, they must be working undercover."
"Squidward: Yeah... now please leave me alone. SpongeBob and Patrick:  Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy, reunite!","Excuse me, I know that Mermaid Man is working undercover on an important case, but you think we can see him?"
"Manager: Undercover? Yeah... well, I'll see if they can take time from their busy schedule to see you.  There they are. Right over there. Manager: Try not to surprise them.",Patrick! Can you believe it?
"Patrick:  Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy in the flesh! Barnacle Boy: Hey, who are those guys? Mermaid Man: Uhh, are they here to fix the TV? Barnacle Boy: What do you want?",Are you Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy?
"Barnacle Boy: Well, we used to be. But now we're retired.",But you can't retire. There's evil afoot!
Mermaid Man: Wha?! Evil! EEEEEEEEEEVIIIIIILLLL!!!  Barnacle Boy! Come quick! I've got the evil!,"All I said was, there's evil afoot."
"Mermaid Man: EVIL! EVIL! E... Barnacle Boy: Would you please stop saying that? Mermaid Man:  EVIL! Evil, evil, evil, evil, evil!  Death raaaaay!","Wow, Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy."
Patrick: It's too bad they're old.,"What do you mean, Patrick? Old people are the greatest. They're full of wisdom and experience.  The world needs Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy. Someone, somewhere, is in trouble, and I won't rest until Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy are out of retirement!"
"Patrick: Oohhh! Pretty lights! Mermaid Man: To the meatloaf!  To the broccoli!  Make sure you give extra broccoli to my young ward. The boy needs his vitamins. Cafeterian: Here you go, son. Haha. Mermaid Man: To the table, awaaaay! Barnacle Boy: Careful! Don't run!","Hey, Mermaid Man."
"Mermaid Man: Uh, here comes the TV repairman. Barnacle Boy: What do you want from us?",Hold on. Just let me look at ya.
"Mermaid Man: Stay alert, Barnacle Boy. He... he's up to something. Barnacle Boy: Will you cut... will you stop calling me boy?",Do you remember the time the food supply in Atlantis was running low? So you invented a ray gun that makes things grow six times their size to shoot at the kelp gardens. But then the evil Man Ray swoops down and swipes the gun away and shoots all the algae.  And he globs onto the undersea dome.  And he starts sucking on the glass.
"Barnacle Boy: What's your point, kid?","You guys are the greatest heroes of all time, and I think you should come out of retirement."
"Mermaid Man: Listen up, you villains. I wanna eat my meatloaf. If you don't get out of here, then by the power invested in me, I now pronounce you man and wife. Manager:  What is going on in here?! Mermaid Man:  You may kiss the bride! Patrick: Did you re-unite our heroes?","No, but I'm married."
"Mermaid Man:  Up, up, and awaaaay. Up, up, and awaaaay.","Oh, myah. This purse is so big and heavy."
"Patrick:  Hold it right there, ma'am. I'll be taking that!",AHHHH! Hay-lp! Hay-lp! Hay-lp!
Patrick:  It's working!,"Wha, are you here to rescue little ol' me?"
Barnacle Boy:  Pipe down! You could wake Mermaid Man and he's ornery when his nap is disturbed.,"Ever alert, Mermaid Man has trained himself to sleep with his eyes open!"
"Barnacle Boy: Confound it, get away from him! Mermaid Man:  STOP SHOUTIN'! I'M NAPPIN! Barnacle Boy:  It's not me, you ol' coot! Retired Elderly #1: Yes. Retired Elderly #2: That's me. Retired Elderly #3: I'm over here!","Excuse me, Mermaid Man."
Mermaid Man: What do you want? Barnacle Boy: This better be good.,This'll cheer you up. We're almost done painting your invisible boatmobile!
"Barnacle Boy: GAH! It's supposed to be invisible! That's it! We gotta end our life of leisure. It's time to come out of retirement. There's evil afoot. Mermaid Man: EVIL! ...Where is it!? Barnacle Boy: There it is!  You know what this means!? Mermaid Man: Donuts! Barnacle Boy: Oh, brother. Barnacle Boy: Say the oath. Mermaid Man:  Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy, unite!  Throw a waterball at 'em! SpongeBob and Patrick: Waterballs! Waterballs! Patrick: Hehehehehe... Barnacle Boy: Mumbling morays. It's not working, Mermaid Man. Mermaid Man: He-he's-he's absorbing it like some kind of evil sponge! Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy: Dogpaddle away! Patrick: It's the Raging Whirlpoo!. Mermaid Man: Those fiends. They're actually enjoying it. SpongeBob and Patrick: Do it again! Do it again! Do it again! Barnacle Boy: Now what, Mermaid Man? We need help! Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy: Sea creatures, unite! Barnacle Boy: Hmm, the creatures of the deep seem to have lost some of their luster. Mermaid Man: Sea creatures! ATTACK!!!","Pinch me, I must be dreaming.  Mission accomplished, Patrick!"
"Patrick: Yeah, we did it! Mermaid Man: I did it. I feel five years younger. Oh, it's good to be back! Barnacle Boy: We did it, you ol' coot. Mermaid Man:  Who are you? TV Announcer: The New Adventures of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy! We join our heroes locked in a battle of wits. Mermaid Man: It's the Aquaphone!  What is it, Chief? Uhh, hello? Hello? Hello?!  The phone is still broken. Remind me to g-get that fixed. Barnacle Boy: Remind you of what? Mermaid Man: Remind me of what? TV Announcer: Will our heroes ever get their phone fixed? Tune in next week and find out.",Wow. That was even better than the old show.
"Patrick: It's all thanks to you. Mrs. Puff:  We are going to have so much fun! A weekend in a cabin in the woods with the Gal Pals! Sandy, Karen, and Mrs. Puff: Gal Pals! Yeah! Karen:  Oh, a Krabby Patty!  Perfect. Mrs. Puff:  Ugh. Karen: The engine needed greasing. Sandy:  Congratulations, Mrs. Puff!  Your boat and trailer just got hitched! Mrs. Puff:  Hmm, I wonder what's keeping our newest Gal Pal? Pearl: This is gonna be so funny. The Gal Pals will obviously try to prank the newbie, but this newbie is gonna prank them right back.",Boo! Who likes eggs?
"Pearl: Not now, SpongeBob.  Wait until you're around the campfire. And you're supposed to act scary, not lame.","Oh, scary. Got it! Wait until the fire then make with the scary."
"Pearl:  Keep working on it. Sandy: Here comes our newest member! Sandy, Karen, Mrs. Puff, and Pearl: Gal Pals! Yeah! Sandy: Here, let me get your bag.",Nice and cozy.
"Sandy, Karen, Mrs. Puff, and Pearl: ♪We're Gal Pals and, yes, we shall conquer the world one day! We're no sea bunnies, we're smart and funny and we demand equal pay! We'll shout Gal Pals right into your ear canal and bang it on a drum! We're sweet and nice, but take our advice cross us and you'll be chum!♪ Mrs. Puff: Ooh, this is gonna be so much fun! We're gonna have a real adventure with our newbie, aren't we, ladies?","Where am I?  Huh? All right, I'll just sit tight and wait to hear from Pearl. I've got the trailer, so there's plenty of food and blankets.  Barnacles! Now what am I gonna do?  Hey, a peanut! A lucky peanut! Mm, I'm not gonna go hungry out here. I'm gonna survive!  Wait a minute, I can't eat this peanut. You're my lucky peanut.  I've got a lucky peanut!"
"Mrs. Puff: Here we are. Sandy:  Uh-oh, looks like we lost something. Pearl:  Oh, no, my backpack! This is the worst thing that could ever happen! Karen:  Aww, there, there, sweetie. It's just a backpack. We can buy you a new one. It's not like losing a friend. Pearl:  She must be psychic. Sandy: Aww, heck, we'll just have to rough it!  All right, gals, let's not just hang here like mama's washing! Time to gussy up the place! Karen: Good thing we have a Texas tornado among the Gal Pals. Who knew you could use a jellyfish as a recharger.  Oh, yeah. Sandy: Yep, nature always provides. Mrs. Puff:  Hey, where's the newbie? Pearl: Oh...Oh, please, SpongeBob, be all right.","I'm Sponge-zan of the brine apes!  Oh, my lucky peanut's ringing.  Hello?  Shell-lo?"
"Pearl: SpongeBob! Oh, thank Neptune, you're still alive.","Don't worry, Pearl, I'm still gonna do the prank. I just have to find your cabin. Are there any landmarks I can head to?"
"Pearl: Uh, well, there are a lot of trees.","Trees, perfect! I'll just follow the trees.  Are you sure you didn't ring, too, lucky peanut? Hello, hello? Ugh, bad reception. No peanut bars.  Follow the trees! Follow the trees, follow the trees, follow the trees, follow the trees, follow the trees, follow the trees..."
"Mrs. Puff:  Oh, this kelp cocoa is delicious. Karen:  Yeah, my sensors indicate an agreeable flavor. Sandy:  Okay, Gal Pals,  it's time to initiate our newest member. Mrs. Puff: You are now a Gal Pal. Pearl: That's it? Just this necklace? No swats or parading around in my PJ's? No tryin' to scare me with urban legends? Sandy: Why would we do that? Karen: Yeah, we like you. Mrs. Puff: We haven't had a forth member since that incident with Flibberty Gibbet. I— Sandy: Puff! Shh. Pearl: Who's Slippery Giveth? Sandy: Oh, Flibberty Gibbet. She was the fourth member of our group. We had a fight with her years ago right here at this very cabin one dark and stormy night. Mrs. Puff: We don't even remember what the fight was about. Sandy: It sure was a humdinger of an argument! Karen: She went bananas and vowed to destroy any and all the Gal Pals. Mrs. Puff: Then she just ran off into these woods! Sandy: Some say she's still out there, all hot-headed and waiting to get her revenge. Karen: That's her pendant you're wearing. Pearl:  Flibberty Gibbet?!  Why did you give me that? Why did you take me here?!  Thanks, gals, you got me. But I knew you were gonna prank me. Karen: Sure you did. Mrs. Puff: You should have seen your face. Sandy: We got you good! Pearl:  Mm, Gal Pals. Sandy:  What was that? Pearl: 'Kay, you can stop trying to scare me. I know Flipperty Giblets is a prank. Karen: Flibberty Gibbet is partly true. Mrs. Puff: She was a Gal Pal. We did have a fight with her. Sandy: And she did run off into these woods. Pearl: Wait, that was all the parts! Mrs. Puff: Quick, let's hide in the cabin! Pearl: Wait, it—it's okay. It's only SpongeBob. I asked him to make noise and prank you. All right, SpongeBob, you can come out! I'm canceling the prank!","There's another tree.  And another tree. Wow, following the trees really works.  Tree, tree, tree, tree."
"Mrs. Puff: So, SpongeBob thinks he can prank us, huh? We'll prank him right back.  We can rig up the cabin with trap doors, flying ghosts, and a thousand cadavers in a zombie ballroom!  Ooh, what am I saying? Sandy: Let's scale it down a smidge. Karen: Yeah, let's hide behind this tree and scream when he shows up. Sandy: You coming, Pearl? Pearl: Well, I'm certainly not staying by myself in the dark. Sandy: Shh, he's coming. Wait for it. Now! Sandy, Karen, Mrs. Puff, and Pearl: Flibberty Gibbet! Mrs. Puff: It's her! Oh, s—she looks like she's been in the woods too long! Sandy: I have a plan. We'll run out the back door and into Puff's boat. Count of three. One, two, three! Karen: Let's go!",Rawr! Hmm?
"Sandy, Karen, Mrs. Puff, and Pearl: No, no! SpongeBob! Don't go in!","Oh, hello."
"Sandy: Gal Pals, we have to save SpongeBob! Sandy, Karen, Mrs. Puff, and Pearl:  Gal Pals.","Wow!  Ooh, another pinecone on a stick! I love it.  Wow!  I'm gonna get one of these for each of the Gal Pals."
"Sandy, Karen, Mrs. Puff, and Pearl:  Huh? Sandy:  It's only a cabin-to-cabin country sales lady. Not Flibberty Gibbet at all. Flibberty Gibbet:  Did someone say my name?  Hi, gals! Sandy, Karen, Mrs. Puff, and Pearl: Flibberty Gibbet! Flibberty Gibbet: I—I just wanted to say all's forgiven!","Hey, wait! You'll need my lucky peanut!"
"Sandy, Karen, Mrs. Puff, and Pearl: Gal Pals! Narrator: The New Adventures of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy.  In a familiar restaurant, in a familiar part of town, a call goes out in frustration. Frank: Will you hurry up? Narrator: A call that would normally be answered by Bikini Bottom's semi-retired champions. If they weren't the ones causing the problem. Mermaid Man: Let's see... I want a... no.  I want a...  uh, no, uh, hmmm... Squidward: Sir, will you please order already? You're holding up the line!","Psst. Hey, Mermaid Man, get a Krabby Patty."
"Mermaid Man: I've made my decision! Line of Customers: Hooray! Mermaid Man: One Krabby Patty for me and a Pipsqueak Patty for the boy. Barnacle Boy: Now, wait just a darn minute! Line of Customers: Awww! Barnacle Boy: I don't want a Pipsqueak Patty! I want an adult size Krabby Patty! Mermaid Man: The Krabby Patty is too big for you. You'll never finish it. Barnacle Boy: Don't you see what you're doing? You're treating me like a child! Mr. Krabs: The boy’s eyes are bigger than his stomach. Barnacle Boy: And that's another thing, I'm not a boy! I'm so old I got hairs growing out of the wrinkles in my liver spots. Squidward:  One Pipsqueak patty  and your bib and highchair. Barnacle Boy: I'm 68 years old and I want a Krabby Patty! Mermaid Man: Your Pipsqueak is getting cold. Shall I feed you? Barnacle Boy: Feed this, old man! All except MM and BB:  Ooooooooh. Barnacle Boy: I'm tired of playing second banana to a man who wears a bra! From now on, I want to be called Barnacle Man! And, I'm through protecting citizens that don't respect me!","I respect you, Barnacle Man!"
"Barnacle Man: That's Barnacle Boy, I mean, Man! I... Ohh... forget you people. I say if you're not going to give me the respect I want as a hero, then maybe you'll give me respect as a villain. A villain who is... evil!",Evil?
"Squidward, Mr. Krabs, Sandy & Patrick: Evil? Mermaid Man: Evil! Barnacle Man: I'm crossing over... to the dark side! Mr. Krabs: Why should I waste money lighting the whole store? Dirty Bubble: Did someone say evil?",Holy oil spill! It's Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy's arch enemies: Man Ray and the Dirty Bubble!
"Barnacle Man: Nighty night, you old goat! Mermaid Man: Nighty-night!  Will you tuck me in? Realistic Fish Head: We interrupt your bleak and meaningless lives for this news report.  Man Ray,  the Dirty Bubble, and now, playing for the dark side, Barnacle Boy... Barnacle Man: Barnacle Man! Realistic Fish Head: ...have been committing a series of crimes throughout Bikini Bottom. Barnacle Man: Shh! Senior Citizen:  I'll get you crazy kids! Realistic Fish Head: These three have named their new alliance: Every Villain Is Lemons, otherwise known as E.V.I.L.! What can we do? When will this crime wave end? How will we defeat the evil? Why am I asking you all these questions? Mermaid Man, where are you? Mermaid Man: Huh? I'm right here! Don't worry, good citizens! Nothing will stop me from defeating the E.V.I.L.!  Nothing!  Ice cream? I love ice cream! A double scoop of prune with bran sprinkles.  Mmm.  Goes right through me every time. Barnacle Man:  You might as well give up, Mermaid Man, because there are three of us and only one of you. You don't stand a chance.","Are you okay, Mermaid Man? Oh, how are you going to beat those three guys all by yourself?"
Mermaid Man: You're right.  I give up.,You can't give up. What if we help you?
"Mermaid Man: No, no, that's a terrible idea. But what if you help me?",Okay!
Mermaid Man: Who wants to save the world?,I do!
"Sandy: I do! Patrick: I do! Squidward: I don't. Mr. Krabs:  Oh, yes, you do! No world means no money! Now, go save the world, or you're fired! Mermaid Man: Then it's settled! To the Mermalair!",Wow! The Mermalair!
Mermaid Man: These costumes belonged to the original International Justice League of Super Acquaintances!,"Wow! The I.J.L.S.A. were the most heroic heroes ever! And you had the best lunch box, too."
"Mermaid Man: Once you put on these costumes, their fantastic powers will become yours! Sandy: Wow! I didn't think super powers worked that way. Mermaid Man: Sure! Power's all in the costume! Why else would we run around in colored undies? Squidward: I can think of three good reasons. Narrator:  The Quickster...with the uncanny ability to run really...quick!",Want to see me run to that mountain and back?  You want to see me do it again?
"Narrator:  Captain Magma...get him angry and he's bound to erupt! Squidward: Krakatoa! Narrator: The Elastic Waistband...able to stretch his body into fantastic shapes and forms! Patrick: I can finally touch my toes! Narrator: And Miss Appear...now you see her...  ...now you don't. Sandy: Does this outfit make me look fat? Narrator: The International Justice League of Super Acquaintances! A subsidiary of Viacom. Mermaid Man: So, it's agreed. We'll get one cheese pizza, one with pepperoni and mushrooms, and one with olives. Chief: Super Acquaintances, we need your help.",Holy halibut! It's the chief!
"Chief: Thank you for the introduction, Quickster, but we all know who I am! More importantly, we've found information on the whereabouts of E.V.I.L. Patrick: The whose-abouts of what? Sandy: You just tell us where they are, Chief, and we'll hog-tie 'em faster than you can say Salsa Verde. Chief: Our sources last found E.V.I.L. harassing teenagers up at Make-Out Reef. You know, Make-Out Reef?  Whoo hoo hoo!","Flopping flounder, Mermaid Man, Make-Out Reef!"
"Mermaid Man: Those fiends! Attacking hormonally stressed-out children! Squidward: Ah, Make-Out Reef. Good times, good times. Mermaid Man: To Make-Out Reef,  away! Patrick: Does this mean we're not getting pizza? John & Nancy: Stop, please! E.V.I.L.: John and Nancy, sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G! Dirty Bubble: Oh!  Shine the flashlight in that car, Man Ray! Man Ray: Haha, with pleasure! Sandals: Hey man, that's not cool. Mermaid Man: Leave those young lovers alone! Man Ray: Well, if it isn't Milk Maid Man! You've saved us the trouble of tracking you down! Mermaid Man: You fiends can't win! You're outnumbered! Man Ray: You senile bag of fish paste! There are three of us and only one of you!",Make that two!
"Man Ray: The Quickster! Squidward:  Three! Barnacle Man: Captain Magma! Patrick:  Four! Dirty Bubble: The Elastic Waistband! Sandy:  Five! E.V.I.L.: M-M-Miss Appear! Mermaid Man: And me makes ten, I think. Man Ray: Uh-oh. Dirty Bubble: I don't have a good feeling about this. Barnacle Man: Oh, there goes our toy deal. Mermaid Man: Super Acquaintances, attack! Barnacle Man: Oh no, please, mercy! Squidward: Krakatoa!",Ah! Ah! Ah! Get it off!  Get it off! Get it Off! Get it off! Get it off!
"Patrick: I'll save you, Quickster! Mermaid Man: I'll cool you off, Quickster, with one of my water balls!  Aha! Squidward: Huh?! No, no, no, I'm not the Quickster! I'm Captain Mag...  ma... Sandy: Well, I guess it's up to me!  I'll sneak over...unseen...and catch them by surprise.  Aaaaaah!",Get it off! Get it off!  Whew...glad that's over!
"Barnacle Man: We did it, we won! This day belongs to E.V.I.L.!  You've lost Mermaid Man, and the superhero and super-villain rules say you have to give in to my demands. Mermaid Man: Okay, what do you want? Man Ray: World domination! Tell him we want world domination! Dirty Bubble: And make him eat dirt! Hahaha!  In addition to the...domination thing. Barnacle Man: Number one, I want to be treated like a superhero, not a sidekick. Number two, I want to be called Barnacle Man. And number three... Man Ray: Come on, world domination! Barnacle Man: I want an adult-sized Krabby Patty. Dirty Bubble:  Did you hear him say anything about eating dirt? Barnacle Man: Need a hand, superpal? Mermaid Man: Good to have you back on the side of justice, Kyle. Let's go get you that Krabby Patty! Man Ray: Was that it?  That's sickening! Dirty Bubble: Oh, this reminds me of the time I went to Cancun with a killer shrimp. Oh, they had these papaya drinks that were to die for! Man Ray:  Oh, Neptune, shut up! Mermaid Man: How is that adult-sized Krabby Patty treating you, Barnacle  Man? Barnacle Man: Actually, it's pretty big. I'm not sure if I can finish the whole thing. Mrs. Puff: I suggested having this lesson in the cemetery because I thought you couldn't kill anyone here, but now I'm afraid you're disturbing the dead! Mrs. Puff:  Before they bury me, get me to a payphone. Mrs. Puff: I need to call another instructor for you. I just...can't...take it anymore! Mrs. Puff:  Huh? You stopped in front of the prison? Never mind! Any place is better than in this boat with you! Stickyfins Whiting:  What are ya waiting for? Step on it!","You must be the new driving instructor. Student driver. That's me. I just don't take a bad picture, do I?"
"Stickyfins: Uh, yeah, yeah, sure. I'm your new driving instructor.",Great! Look how I can tune the radio.
"Radio announcer: Breaking news! Both: Huh? Radio announcer: Notorious criminal, Stickyfins Whiting, has just escaped from prison. Stickyfins: Very good radio tuning skills. Now, drive as fast as you can! Mrs. Puff: Stop! SpongeBob! Come back!  I can't believe I said that! Dorsal Dan: Stickyfins, where are you? I can't be that late. Mrs. Puff:  Follow that sponge! Dorsal Dan: Hey, you ain't Stickyfins. Mrs. Puff: And you ain't a chocolate cake! Now, step on it! Dorsal Dan: Yes, ma'am! Dorsal Dan at your service! Stickyfins:  Oh! Oh! Crater-face! We're being followed! Lose that tail!",I thought it'd made me look cool.  Guess not.
Stickyfins: Not that tail! The cops behind us! Drive crazy!,"Ohhhhh, that I can do!"
Dorsal Dan: Wow! He's driving like a psycho! Who taught him how to drive?,Good baby?
Stickyfins: Waaaaaahhhhh! Rich Man: Gosh!,"I say, how's my automobiling?"
Stickyfins:  Simply smashing.  You're simply smashing into things! Stickyfins: Let's see what's on the menu!  Oh! I'll take those! Customers: Hmm?,"Excuse me sir, I'm in the middle of a driving lesson!"
"Stickyfins: Look out, you maniac! Stickyfins: You're going the wrong way! Turn this thing around!","You got it! Turning around! Oh, you're a great instructor! What now?"
"Stickyfins: Just...go with the flow. Dorsal Dan: Looks like they shook us. Don't worry, we'll find them. Mrs. Puff: They'll probably revoke my teacher's license for this. Dorsal Dan: Hey, I'm a teacher too! I teach all kinds of things. Safe cracking, burglary, getaway driving. Mrs. Puff:  I did notice you're a very good driver. Dorsal Dan: Ha, ha, you ain't such a bad passenger yourself. Mrs. Puff:  Oh, my! Stickyfins: Here's your next test. Follow me. Stickyfins: Distracted drivers are dangerous. I want you to distract that salesman in the store.",I don't understand how this is gonna help with my driving.
"Stickyfins: It's, uh...abstract thinking.","Hey, I've heard of that!"
Salesman: Welcome!,Distract with the abstract.
"Salesman: Hey, shapes and noises! I love it!",What's the next lesson?
Stickyfins: The nearest electronic store.,"Oh, you really know how to challenge a guy."
"Salesman: Help! Help! I've been robbed! Mrs. Puff: I've shopped in that place before, and I've been robbed too. Dorsal Dan: What now, beautiful? Mrs. Puff: I wouldn't mind seeing you navigate a four-way stop. Dorsal Dan: Romance always has the right of way. Mrs. Puff: Oh, my!",Ah! Wha— Oop.  Whoa!
Stickyfins: I need to launder these bills—fast!,"I know just the place! But first, let me adjust your seat."
Stickyfins: Ooh!  Hey! What's the big idea? Stickyfins: What is wrong with you? Dorsal Dan: I think your sponge should be around here somewhere. Mrs. Puff:  I didn't even feel you slow down. You've got such a gentle foot on the pedal. Dorsal Dan: Gosh. No one's ever said I had a gentle foot before. Mrs. Puff: Oh—ho.  Oh! Oh! Mrs. Puff:  SpongeBob! Stickyfins: Why's that jerk honking? Go! Drive! Mrs. Puff: Sorry about your gentle foot! Hi-yah! Dorsal Dan: Hey—Owww!,"Oh! Ooh, driving range! How's my driving?"
Stickyfins:  Doh!  Doh—doh—doh—doh—doh—,"Doh! That kinda hurts, don't ya think?"
"Stickyfins:  Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Stickyfins: For the love of Neptune, let's get outta here!","Uh-huh. Uh-huh, uh-huh. Oh!  Oh, yeah."
"Stickyfins: Ah!  Ha, ha! Stickyfins: Oh! Oh! Ow!  Oh! Stickyfins: Ooh—ow! Stickyfins:  I just wanna know...what'd I ever do to deserve this?","Would you like to test me on road signs now? Let's see...  Stop, No Left Turn, and that one over there that says Falling Rocks!"
"Stickyfins: Wait, what?  Ooh!  Oof! Stickyfins:  Whoa! Mrs. Puff:  SpongeBob!",Mrs. Puff!
Dorsal Dan: Stickyfins! Stickyfins: Dorsal Dan! Help meeeee!,"Hey, Mrs. Puff! The new instructor's been teaching me so much. Not as much as you. But y'know, different things."
"Mrs. Puff: SpongeBob, you gotta keep your eyes on the road!",He hasn't taught me that one yet!  Oh!
Stickyfins: Ah! Get me outta here!,"Aww, you must be hungry. I've got some of Gary's Snail Snacks."
Officer: This is the police. Pull over! Stickyfins: Right turn! Make a right turn!,"Aye, aye, professor!"
"Stickyfins: Yes! I'm back!  Thank Neptune! Don't let me out ever again! It's not safe out there! Lock me away! Forever, and ever! Security Guards and Warden: Huh? Security Guard:  Warden, I found this one pulling up outside the prison. Warden: Dorsal Dan! The notorious getaway driver. Toss him in the clink! Mrs. Puff:  I'll wait for you, my little tenderfoot!","Hey, where'd the new instructor go? Oh, well, I still have ten minutes left on my driving lesson.  Oh, Mrs. Puff?"
"Mrs. Puff: I'll confess to anything! Throw away the key! It's not safe out here! Let me in! Officers: Drive safely, and always wear your seat belt!",Wait for it...
"Automated Voice: On Time Percentage: 100%. Squidward: Another day, another migraine.  Heh, heh, mi... Automated Voice: On Time Percentage: 12%. Squidward: ...graine. Heh, heh, heh.","Ahh, isn't it great working at the Krusty Krab, Squidward? Huh? Isn't it? Working here?"
"Squidward: Yeah, great.",Yeah.
Squidward: Yeah.,"Aww, yeah."
Squidward:  Yes!,"Hold that thought, Squidward. I'm doing the parking lot for early morning litter patrol. May Neptune shine brightly on my harvest.  Litter.  Looks like someone missed the trash basket, huh, Mr. Candy Wrapper?  Kids these days.  I've never seen such an epidemic! Well, at least it's all over now.  Where is all this litter coming from?!  Not on my watch.  Sir, I will have you know it's against the law to litter."
"Strangler: Heh, what're you gonna do, call the police?",Yes.
"Squidward: How's it going, Lieutenant?","Well, let's just say I hope our litterbug there saved room for his just desserts.  Yeah, just desserts."
"Squidward: Whatever. Huh?  SpongeBob, don't you know who that is?",Who?
Squidward: That's the Tattletale Strangler.,Who?
Squidward: The Tattletale Strangler!  He's promised to strangle anyone who turns him in!,"He seems kind of angry with us, eh, Squidward?  Squidward? Squidward?"
"Officer Johnson: You're gonna do time, Strangler. Hard time.","Hi, officers. So, he's going to jail, right?"
"Officer Nancy: Who, Strangler?","Yeah, Strangler."
"Officer Nancy: Oh, yeah, he's going to jail for a long time.","Hey, that looks like me!"
"Officer Nancy: Don't worry, SpongeBob. He won't be able to strangle you. Officer Johnson: Yeah. We got him chained up real good. He'll never get away. Officer Nancy: Oops, not again. Officer Johnson: Yep, he got away.","You nice officers will protect me, right?"
"Officer Nancy: We ain't bodyguards, kid. Officer Johnson: Yeah, give us a call if you see him again... tattletale.",Those officers are right. I need a bodyguard!  Mr. Krabs! There's a maniac after me! I need a bodyguard!
"Mr. Krabs:  I wasn't five-time 'Golden Claws' in the navy for nothin'.  When he sees me moves, he'll be running scared. So, where is this little bully? Down at the park? The sodey shop? What does he look like, eh, boy?","This would be him, Mr. Krabs."
"Mr. Krabs:  The Tattletale Strangler?!  Go away, SpongeBob! Take your death cloud with you!","Ugh, that's it. I gotta get out of town 'til I can find a bodyguard."
"Strangler: Bodyguard, huh? I might be able to help you out.","You don't understand, mister. I need protection from the scariest guy in town. Here's his picture."
"Strangler: Heh heh, he doesn't look so tough.","I tattled on him, and now he wants to strangle me with his diabolical hands! I hope they're not dirty."
"Strangler: Huh? Uh-oh. Uh, there's too many witnesses around here.  Listen, kid. I could be your bodyguard. Here's my card.","Hmm, looks good to me. You're hired! I feel safer already. What's next?"
"Strangler: Well, the maniac could be anywhere, wearing a disguise. He could be that old man.  Or that baby.",Or that pebble.  Or that stick.  Or that receipt for the Phony Baloney Mustache Emporium.
"Strangler: Huh? Uhh, that's mine.","Oh, bodyguard, my body is in your guarding hands. What do we do first?"
"Strangler: Well, I suggest we go to a nice, quiet, secluded location, uh, like behind an old dumpster or a dark alley...",We could go to my house and turn off all the lights!
"Strangler: Perfect. That way no one can hear you being strangled... err, I mean, uhh, protected.  Perfect.","Yes, excellent.  Ah, but first, I gotta do a few errands."
"Strangler: Uhh, okay, but let's make it quick.","Quick is my middle name.  Let's see...paper towels. This one says 'best paper towel around' this one says 'best paper towel in town'. Hmm... in town... around... in town... around... what do you think, bodyguard?"
Strangler: Whatever gets us to your house quicker.,I'll take both!
"Dry Cleaner: Here you go, Mr. SquarePants.",Hmmm.
Dry Cleaner: Is there something wrong?,"I'm not sure if these are my pants.  How about this one, bodyguard? Too overbearing?"
Strangler: Can we just go to your house?!,"Here we are. SquarePants Manor. Bodyguard, let me just take this opportunity to say you're the best bodyguard a fella could hope to have."
"Strangler: All right, enough of the sappy talk! Open the door so I can strangle you... I mean, uhh, choke you... I mean, uhh, crush your windpipe... gah, I mean...",Protect me?
Strangler: Thanks.,"Don't mention it, Strangler.  I mean, bodyguard. Now where'd I put my key?"
Narrator: Twenty minutes later...,"Well, I can't find 'em. You wanna take a look?"
"Strangler: Oh, forget the key! Let's climb through this window.  I can't reach it. Do you think you could hop up on my shoulders, kid?","Sure. With these spiky cleats, anything is possible.  Ya."
Strangler: Cleats?!  Get your feet out of my eye sockets!,"I'm trying, but my cleats are stuck in your corneas!"
Narrator: Six hours later...,"Don't be mad, bodyguard. Let me just grab the key I keep under the mat and we can get inside.  There you are, you little rascal. Now, to put the key in the lock, which should activate the tumblers, thus opening the door.  Step inside..."
Strangler:  Close the door...,"Well, here we are."
Strangler: I've finally got you all alone!,"I know, isn't it great?  Ooh."
"Strangler: Now, you're gonna get yours... tattletale! All of SpongeBob's friends: Surprise!","A surprise party to celebrate my perfect on-time percentage at work?  Oh, how'd you guys know?"
Patrick: It's on the invitations you sent us.  Let's boogie!,"Bye, everybody, thanks for coming! Bye Mr. Krabs, bye Plankton, bye Sandy, bye Larry, bye Pearl, bye Mrs. Puff, bye Squidward, bye, eh, the rest.  Ahh, alone at last."
"Strangler:  What? Huh? Huh? What? Huh?  So, we're all alone now?","Just you, me, and the floorboards.  Yeah."
"All: Happy birthday, SpongeBob!",How did you guys know today is my birthday?
Patrick: We just do what the invitations say. Let's boogie some more!,Thanks for coming!  Alone again.
Strangler: Is it true? Everybody's gone?,Uh-huh.
"Strangler: No, no more parties today? You got everything you need now? Nobody's left? We're completely alone?",Oh yeah.
"Strangler: In that case... Patrick: Great parties, huh? Strangler: Oh... sorry, Tubby, you've gotta go.",Wait! We can trust Patrick. He's my best friend.
"Strangler: Well, I can't take any chances. For all we know, he could be the Strangler. Patrick: I'm the Strangler? Oh, I should've known! I gotta turn myself in!","So, Patrick's the Strangler. Gee, you think you know a guy."
Strangler:  He's not the Strangler!,He's not?
Strangler:  I am!,"Hey, how'd you do that without shaving cream?"
"Strangler: Oh, it's a fake, you idiot! I bought it at the party store! Squidward: Did someone say 'party'? Strangler: I can't take it!","Wait, bodyguard, I need protection!"
Strangler: Step on it! I'm being chased by a maniac!,I'm not safe! Come back!
"Strangler: Finally, away from that guy.","Good idea, bodyguard. They’ll never find us up here.  Good thinking, bodyguard. The Strangler could have been on that plane.  Bodyguard, bodyguard!"
"Strangler: Look, kid... I'm not your bodyguard!  I'm the Strangler! See?!",The Strangler!
"Officer Nancy: Good work, SpongeBob. You put the Strangler behind bars. Strangler: At least I'm safe from that yellow idiot. Patrick: Hey, Mac,  what're you in for? Frankie Billy: Once around the roundabout.  Left at the wall.  Over the Bump of Truth.  And finally, the flaming hoop!  Thank you, Mrs. Puff, I am now a car daring figure and a producing member of society.  Woo-hoo! Yeah! Mrs. Puff:  Oh, nothing brings me more joy than teaching. I can't wait to pass my next student.","Hello, Mrs. Puff. I'm all set for my driving test.  Mrs. Puff, you okay?"
Mrs. Puff:  Just start driving.  Turn this boat around immediately!,"Right away, ma’am.  Don't worry, Mrs. Puff. I have this under control..."
"Announcer: Next up, Goin' Bananas 3: In 3D. Teenage Fish #1: Hey, dude, pass the 3D glasses. This is supposed to be, like, in 3D. Teenage Fish #2:: Oh, yeah, right! Driver: Here I am! I'm coming at ya like your worst nightmare! Teenage Fish #1 and #2:  Wow! Mrs. Puff: I think it's safe to say you have once again, failed your driving test!","Uh, but, Mrs, Puff, I-"
"Mrs. Puff: No buts, SpongeBob! You fail this test over and over! I'm beginning to think you are simply... unteachable!  Now, get out of my sight!","I...I...  I-I'm sorry, Mrs. Puff!"
"Teenage Fish: Dude, this is, like, the gnarliest 3-D movie ever! Mrs. Puff: If only SpongeBob could pass his boating test, he'd be out of my life once and for all. Unfortunately, I keep getting reminded of the consequences if I get too angry with the little nuisance.  I can't even leave town without violating my parole.  If there was only some way that I didn't have to live in fear.  Fear! That's the answer! SpongeBob is afraid of the driving course! So it would stand to reason that if he took the driving test somewhere else besides the driving course, he would pass!  Of course! The answer's been in front of me all along! I'll test SpongeBob on a real road and then he'll be out of my life forever!  Yeah! What could possibly go wrong?","Not now, Gary. Can't you see I'm wallowing in my own filth?  Come back later; I'm wallowing."
Mrs. Puff: SpongeBob? SpongeBob?  SpongeBob!,"I'm sorry, Mrs. Puff. I am trying to stay out of your sight."
"Mrs. Puff: Oh, that! Let's forget what I said. It's time to take a fresh approach.","Mrs. Puff, I...You said...Don't you remember? I'm un-"
"Mrs. Puff: We don't have time for this, SpongeBob. We have a long day of driving ahead of us.","Mrs. Puff, why have you taken me to this weathery moat and slightly scary landscape?"
"Mrs. Puff: To overcome your fears, silly.",It's not working!
Mrs. Puff: Here we are!,"Uh, where are we?"
Mrs. Puff: This old abandoned road is the perfect venue for your driving test.,Dr-iving test?!
"Mrs. Puff: That's right! You're free from all the distracting obstacles on the boating course.  Out here, there's nothing but the road.  Now, scooch over.  Come on. Scooch over.","But Mrs. Puff, what about the fact that I'm unteachable?"
"Mrs. Puff: Forget all about that. Out here, you can teach a hermit crab to boat.","Mrs. Puff, I'm still intimidated!"
"Mrs. Puff: Listen. If you're nervous about boating, simply repeat the words: Focus on the road, there is nothing but the road. Got it?","O-o-okay.  Focus on the road, there is nothing but the road. Focus on the road, there is nothing but the road.  Uh, focus on the road, there is nothing but the road.  Focus on the road.  There is nothing but the road. Hey, look at me. I'm not crashing and stuff."
Mrs. Puff: Wonderful! Keep that up and I'll have no choice but to pass you! Just repeat your mantra.,"Focus on the road, the open unintimidating road."
Mrs. Puff: Boating within the lines.  Well done.,Focus on the road.  There is nothing but the road.
"Mrs. Puff: Finally using your turn signal, woohoo!  Check.",Focus on the road.  There is nothing but the road.
"Mrs. Puff: Roundabout navigation, check!","Focus on the road, there is nothing but the road!"
"Mrs. Puff: Safe and steady acceleration, check!",Focus on the road...  There is nothing but the road.
"Mrs. Puff: Check...check...and...CHECK!  What is this?! Mrs. Puff: Only one more test, and it's the easiest one yet. SpongeBob, all you have to do is safely dock this vessel.","Focus on the road, there is nothing but the road. Focus on the road, there is nothing but the road.  Focus...  on the...road? What happened to the road!?"
"Mrs. Puff: Calm down, SpongeBob. Listen: all you have to do is safely stop this vessel!","Uh...focus on the road, there is nothing but the road!"
Mrs. Puff: Just stop the boat!,"Uh, focus on the - uh-uh-uh...  The road!"
"Mrs. Puff: SpongeBob, wait! Mrs. Puff: SpongeBoooob!",That was a close one Mrs. Puff. But I am back on the road and ready to focus upon it.
Mrs. Puff: SpongeBob? This isn't just any road.  It's a 10-lane Intertial Seaway!,Shu-ven-tah-dil-in-chi-huh?!
"Mrs. Puff: Stay calm, SpongeBob.  SpongeBob? SpongeBob?! SpongeBob! Remember your mantra?","Right. Focus on the road, there is nothing but the road  I can't even see the road! ."
"Mrs. Puff: SpongeBob! Give me the wheel, SpongeBob. Oh, dear! He's completely frozen up!  Fiddlesticks! Police Officer: Reckless drivers. I loathe reckless drivers. Police Officer: Pull over, you menace!","Uh, Mrs. Puff, can I have my arms back?"
"Police Officer: I said, stop your vessel!","Sorry, Mr. Officer sir, I'm applying the brakes!"
"Police Officer: Uh, we got us a runner. Mrs. Puff: Pull over, SpongeBob... And make it quick. Look!  No! Mrs. Puff: SpongeBob, hit the brakes!",Huh? Oh! Okay!
"Mrs. Puff: Goodness gracious. There isn't a scratch on this vessel. SpongeBob? The test is history! You, you passed! Here's your license!  And I'm free! Ha ha! Officer: I don't think so. Mrs. Puff: Is there a problem, officer? Officer: Well, you crossed the county line three miles back. You, ma'am,  are a parole violator, which makes this test...null and void. I'll take that. Mrs. Puff: SpongeBob, I'll get you for this! I'll get you! Plankton: Ha! Mr. Krabs: Hold it right there, Plankton. Plankton: Krabs! Mr. Krabs: I'll take that. Plankton: How'd you know it was me? Mr. Krabs: Next time, wear a disguise without your initial on it. Plankton: Hmmm... perhaps a peppershaker was a bit obvious. Mr. Krabs: You think? SpongeBob!",Wooo-ooo!
"Announcer:  3, 2, 1…, launch! Plankton: AAHH! Plankton: Never! Never! I'll never get Krabs' formula! Mr. Krabs is too powerful. If only there were a way to render him helpless! Sadie:  Oh, look at you, you're so small, tiny and helpless. Plankton: Hey, I resent that! Huh? Sadie:  Why, you're so tiny and helpless, I could take your formula whenever I wanted to and you couldn't do a thing about it. Plankton: Something about that woman reminds me of my mother. That's it! Finally, victory will be mine! I'll turn Eugene Krabs into a powerless… baby. Mr. Krabs:  Ooh, a penny.  A trail of pennies! Plankton: I've done it! Nothing can stop me now! My goo goo gas will transform Krabs into a tiny helpless infant!  The key to the Krusty Krab. This is easier than I hoped.  He's a little bigger than I imagined.  Whoa! No, no! Ow, ow, ow! Oof! Whoa!","Hey, a baby! What are you doing out here all alone, baby? I'll take charge of you until your mommy shows up!  Oh, aren't you just too cute.  Coochie coochie coo!"
"Plankton: Hello! If you're done making a total fool out of yourself, I could use some help with this lock.","Oh, sure thing, Plankton.  Here you go, little guy."
"Plankton: Yes, my plan is working perfectly! Now that I've turned Krabs into a helpless baby, the Krabby Patty formula will be mine!  Hello.",Police! Police!
"Plankton:  Fools, you'll never hold me! Your primitive shackles are no match for my genius.  That was easy. I'm free! Free!","Oh, Squidward. Thank Neptune you're here. I found this baby all alone. But he wasn't really alone, he was with Plankton! And he's not a baby!  It's Mr. Krabs! Plankton turned him into an infant so he could steal the Krabby Patty formula!  What do we do, Squidward?"
"Squidward: I don't know about you, but I'm going on my coffee break. A very long coffee break. Plankton:  …and then that blasted sponge called the cops! That's just not cricket.  Now I'll never be a tyrannical overlord. Karen: Do I have to tell you how to do everything? Next time, spray SpongeBob, too. Plankton: Not sure I follow you. Karen: Listen carefully. Spray... Plankton: Yes. Karen: ...Sponge.... Plankton: Uh-huh. Karen: ....Bob..... Plankton: Right. Karen: ....Too! Plankton: Now you're just talking gibberish. What I really need is to spray Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob. Karen: That's just what I… Plankton: I don't wanna hear anymore of your loony schemes, Karen. I've got work to do!","Aw, what's wrong, Mr. Baby Krabs? Are you thirsty?  That's it, drink up!  Okay, maybe you're hungry? How about a nice soft Krabby Patty?  Yikes. Not even a Krabby Patty helps. How about a stack of 20s?"
Plankton: Hands in the air!,Plankton!
"Plankton:  That's right, SpongeBob, I'm back! And you won't stop me this time.  What? SpongeBob's a baby, but Krabs is back to normal?  It seems the second dose acts as an antidote!  One squirt equals baby, two squirts equals adult!  Or is it three squirts for baby and four squirts for adult?  Barnacles, I've run out of gas! Mr. Krabs: Ahem! Plankton: Krabs! Nice diaper.  Hold on, hold on! I think I...  Yes, I've got it! Mr. Krabs:  Better be something other than bills this time.  Plankton! Plankton: Peek-a-boo! Mr. Krabs:  I can't tolerate your stinky gas! Dennis: Miss Shell: That makes two of us. Dennis: I don't do it on purpose! Mr. Krabs: You'll never catch me, Plankton! Never! Ooh…a nother penny! Come to papa! Now, what were we doing? Plankton: This!  What's the matter, baby? Are you gonna cry?  What the heck happened to you? This isn't baby gas! It's senior citizen spray! Mr. Krabs: Eh? What was that, sonny? Plankton: Out of my way, Methuselah! You're old and useless.","Hold it right there! Old people are out greatest natural resource! I salute you, elder citizenry!"
Plankton: I'm getting old listening to this. Let's try this again!,I remember when a quarter used to cost a nickel.
Plankton: This baby gas is worthless!  At least you're way too old to stop me from stealing a Krabby Patty!,"What was that, sonny?"
Plankton: It'll take more time to explain than you have left.,What?
Mr. Krabs:  He's got the Krabby Patty! Catch him!,Catch who?
"Mr. Krabs: Oh, Gesundheit. Plankton: Victory is mine!","Come back here, you little whippersnapper!"
"Mr. Krabs: You kids get off my lawn! I'll catch up with you, boy!",I'm catching up with my knitting.
"Mr. Krabs:  That's it! Knit, little nitwit! Plankton: That was almost too easy.  What? No! I demand you geezers release me! Mr. Krabs: Right after the party. The piñata party. Plankton: What? Senior Citizens:  That's for calling us old. Plankton: Hey, quit it! Senior Citizens: I want candy! Plankton: No! Plankton: One squirt equals baby, carry over the two plus the square root of SpongeBob. Of course! The final ingredient that I've been lacking! It's so simple yet so evil! And I know just the place to get it. Plankton: Excuse me, what aisle did you get that from? Shubie: You mean the Kelp-O? Plankton: No, that thing! The ugly drippy smelly thing. Shubie: Are you talking about my baby? creep! Plankton: Ow, ow, ow!  Baby powder? This could be just what I need! Hey, buddy, is this made of real or artificial babies?  Ow, ow, ow, ow!  That powdered baby did the trick! Now my baby gas can't possibly fail! Karen: Just like all your other plans that couldn't possibly fail? Plankton: What is it now, Karen? Karen: I'm saying you should test your gas before you run over there all willy nilly! Plankton: That's an excellent idea. And I know just the guinea pig! Karen:  Plankton, don't you dare! Plankton: Karen! Speak to me!  It worked! Plankton: Everyone say your ABCs!  Now when you turn into babies,  you stay babies! Hey, Krabs, catch!","What's wrong, little feller?"
"Plankton: That was loud. Narrator: Welcome to Bikini Bottom, where can be found some of the finest specimens of undersea life.  Well, you know. Patrick: An award? I never got an award before! Eeeee! Look rock, I got an award.  Jellyfish, I got an award.  Island, I got an awar...  I gotta show SpongeBob.","Hold still, Gary."
Gary: Meow.,Almost done.
"Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob, guess what? I got an award.","That's great, Patrick. What's it for?"
Patrick: See for yourself.,For Outstanding Achievement In Achievement: SpongeBob SquarePants?
Patrick: SpongeBob SquarePants? That's a funny way to spell my name.,"Patrick, I think the award is for me. You must've got it by mistake."
"Patrick: But, it's shiny.","Yeah, but you know what else is shiny?"
Patrick: Ice cream!,Exactly!
Patrick: I can find it. Is it in here?,"No, don't! That's my...  ...award closet."
Patrick: I want an award!,"Aww, Patrick, don't cry.  You'll get an award one day."
Patrick: I'm never gonna get an award 'cause I've never done anything.,But you're Patrick...  Star. You can do anything you want.
Patrick: That's easy for you to say. You're SpongeBob.,"Patrick, if you wanna win an award, you have to do something."
Patrick: Hmmm...I wanna defeat the giant monkeyman and save the 9th dimension!,Me too! But that sounds a little hard. Why don't we start smaller?
Patrick: I wanna defeat the little monkeyman and save the 8th dimension!,Smaller.
Patrick: Doctor?,Smaller.
Patrick: Fireman?,The smallest you can think of.
Patrick: A job at the Krusty Krab?,Yeah!  I do things at work all the time.
"Patrick: Then let's go. Patrick: Boy, it sure was nice of Mr. Krabs to give me a job.","And at 50 dollars an hour, too. When I started working here, I had to pay Mr. Krabs 100 dollars an hour. Hey, Squidward, guess who just got a job?"
Squidward: Guess who just quit? Patrick: Do I get my award yet?,"You have to work for it, remember?"
Patrick: Tartar sauce.,Pick up order!
"Patrick: Do I get my award, now?","No, you have to take the tray to the customer."
Patrick: Ok.,Almost. Try again and this time make sure the food gets to the table.
Patrick: Like that?,Nope.
Patrick:  Barnacles!,Let's try something different. All you have to do is answer the phone.
"Patrick: Aye aye, Captain! Guy on Phone: Is this the Krusty Krab? Patrick: No, this is Patrick. Girl on Phone: Is this the Krusty Krab? Patrick:  No, this is Patrick! Another Guy on Phone: Is this the Krusty Krab? Patrick:  No! This is Patrick!  I'm not a Krusty Krab.","Uhh, Patrick, that's the name of the restaurant."
Patrick: Huh? Oh...Fishpaste!,It looks a little dusty around Table 3. How about you sweep it out?
Patrick: What's the point? I can't do anything right.,You'll do fine.
Nat:  Hey pal. You just blow in from Stupidtown?,"Keep trying, Patrick."
Delivery Guy: I've got a load of awards for SpongeBob SquarePants. Patrick: Why can't I do anything right?!,Kitchen!
"Patrick:  I'm never gonna get an award, now.","Don't give up, Patrick. This time I've got something I know you can do. We're gonna open a jar.  Easy. Now you try. First get a jar.  Patrick, that's a pickle."
Patrick: Yes.,"You need a jar.  No.  No.  No. Try...this!  Now take the lid off the jar.  Just relax. Lift your hand.  Great! We're almost there. Now put it on the lid.  No, the lid.   Freeze!  Almost there. Now head for the lid.  Cold.  Warmer.  Warmer.  Warmer. You're hot. You're on fire! Ok, ok. Wait, wait. Do exactly as I do.  Exactly as I do.  Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. No, no, Patrick, you did it! That was great, Patrick! You really got the hang of it."
Patrick: Yeah. Remember when I had my hand up? And I put it on the lid?,"That's creepy...but flattering! I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready...  Huh? Well, back to the ol' grind."
"Patrick: Well, back to the ol' grind.",Forget my hat.
SpongeBob and Patrick:  Whew!,Dropped my spatula.
"Patrick: Uhh, me, too.  Ow!",Aha!  You're copying me!
Patrick: Yes.,Why are you doing that?
Patrick: So I can win an award like you.,"Well, it's annoying, so stop it!"
Patrick: Stop it.,"Say, you're good."
Patrick: Thanks. SpongeBob and Patrick: Ha! Darn.  Mary had a little lamb whose fleece was white as...pickle fish lips!  Sea weavle. Gorgy smorgy.,At least I'm safe inside my mind.
Patrick:  At least I'm safe inside my mind. SpongeBob and Patrick:,Stop copying me!
"Patrick: There's no award for that! Squidward:  Well, I guess it's safe to go in now.","Patrick, how long are you gonna keep this up?"
Patrick: Until I have as many awards as you.,We'll see about that!
"Patrick: No, we won't.",I'm the jump-rope champion of Bikini Bottom.
"Patrick: Me, too.","Oh, yeah? I call this one: The Slice N' Dice.  Ha! Not a scratch on me."
"Patrick: Oh, no, you don't!","Not much fun being me, now, huh, Patrick?"
Patrick: Are you kidding? I used to do this way before I started copying you. Patrick: My turn!,"I wish I had the old Patrick back, but he just wants to be like me.  Hi, I'm Patrick Star. I'm the laziest, pinkest starfish in Bikini Bottom and I wish I were me and not SpongeBob."
Patrick: What's so great about being a big pink loser?  Exactly. I was never closer to an award then the minute I started copying you.,"But, Patrick..."
Patrick: Patrick's not here! Delivery Guy:  Trophy delivery!,Another trophy?
"Patrick:  Oh, great!  What's it for THIS time?",'For Doing Absolutely Nothing Longer Than Anyone Else'. Patrick! This trophy's for you!
Patrick: Yay!  Eee!,"So, what are you gonna do, now?"
"Patrick: I'm gonna go protect my title. Narrator: So you thought I was kidding, huh? No, in Bikini Bottom, excellence can be found, even under a rock. Plankton:  Wah! Karen:  Oh, Sheldon. You're so romantic. Plankton: It's all about you today, Karen. Karen: Oh, this makes up of a lot of your stupidity lately, Plankton. Plankton:  Plankton's stepped away for a moment. The name's Ray Ray, and I am at your service, m'lady.  Pow! Karen:  Oh, kiss me, pipsqueak. I mean, Ray Ray. Plankton:  Grandma?! I told you never to call me on this screen. Lily Plankton: Sheldon,  is that you? Plankton:  Yes, it's me, Grandma. Always nice to hear from you. Okay, gotta go. Lily Plankton: Okay, sweetie. See you tomorrow at 8 AM sharp. Plankton: Right, see you then. Wait a minute, what? 8 AM? Um, what's happening at 8 AM, Grandma? Lily Plankton: Don't you remember, silly?  You promised me you'd own  the Krusty Krab by my 90th birthday. Well, my 90th is tomorrow! You do own the Krusty Krab now, right? Plankton: Lie, that's it!  Uh, you're darn right I own the Krusty Krab, Grandma, and I can't wait to give you the grand tour, uh, tomorrow morning. Lily Plankton: Aww, see you then. Karen:  That smack was for Plankton.  Now bring back Ray Ray. Plankton: Oh, what am I gonna do, Karen? How am I gonna fool Grandma tomorrow? Karen: Oh, okay, I guess bath time is over.  Why don't you and Ray Ray take a long walk off a short plank? Plankton:  Gotta think, gotta think.  Come on, brain!","This way to the Krusty Krab! Pull right in and order a Krabby Patty!  Whoo!  Whoop, whoop.  Ooh.  Aah.  Whew. ' Ow!"
"Plankton: SpongeBoob, you gotta help me.","Sorry, Plankton, what can I do to help you?"
"Plankton:  This is not an evil scheme.  The truth is I promised my grandma I would own the Krusty Krab by her 90th birthday. So, I need Krabs to play pretend tomorrow and fool my grandma into believing I'm the new owner, otherwise she will think I'm a big loser. Got it?","Well, I believe you, Plankton, but I'm not sure Mr. Krabs is gonna buy it."
"Mr. Krabs: I'm not gonna buy what? French Narrator: One Pathetic Sob-Story Later... Mr. Krabs: I ain't buying it! This whole grandma thing sounds just like another phony plot to steal me formula. Plankton: I was hoping I wouldn't have to resort to this, Eugene, but... Mr. Krabs:  SpongeBob, there's something wrong with his eye.","That's Plankton's rarely seen sincere face, Mr. Krabs, and it means for once he is telling the truth."
"Mr. Krabs:  You know,  I have a grandma too.",Aww.
"Mr. Krabs:  All right, I buy it. Plankton: Thank you. Mr. Krabs: First things first.  That should keep it safe for six to eight hours.  All right, me pretties, let's make this place pro-Plankton pronto! Mr. Krabs: Now everyone remember, for the rest of the day, Plankton is the—  Plankton's boss. Plankton: Hi, Grandma. Happy birthday. Karen: Nice to see you again, Grandma Plankton. Lily Plankton:  Ugh. Who invited C-Pee-Eww? Karen:  All right, I tried. Plankton: Owuh!  Let me help you with your bag, Grandma.  Ouch! Plankton: Well, here we are, Grandma. Welcome to the Krusty Plankton. I named it after you. Lily Plankton:  Oh, well, aren't you a sweet grandson?  Who are they? Plankton: They're just my employees, Grandma. Meet SpongeBob and Eugene. SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs: Hello, Grandma Plankton. Lily Plankton: They look like very nice boys, and I'll bet they're even nicer when they're working. Plankton: You heard, Grandma! We ain't running a welcome wagon here! Get back to work! Mr. Krabs:  Yeah, sure thing, Plankton. Plankton:  That's Mr. Plankton to you, busboy. Mr. Krabs:  Sorry, Mr. Plankton. It won't happen again. Lily Plankton:  Oh, look, that one's napping on the job. Plankton:  Nap time's over, loafer! Squidward:  Okay, who's the wise guy? Lily Plankton:  Ohh.  Oh, my goodness! Who is this handsome young man? Plankton: Oh, that's Squidward. He's nobody. Moving along... Lily Plankton:  Mm. Squidward. Didn't we meet at an early bird dinner?","Ooh, I think someone has a not-so-secret admirer!  Ow!"
"Squidward:  All right, lady, I don't normally say this,  but get off my nose. Plankton:  Go along with it, Squidward. Mr. Krabs:  Or you're fired. Squidward:  So, Grandma Plankton, where have you been all my life? Lily Plankton:  Call me Lily. Plankton: Okay, Grandma, you're embarrassing me now. Lily Plankton:  To the kitchen, Squidward. Plankton: Try one of our Planky Patties, Grandma. Fresh off the grill. Lily Plankton:  I'll need my teeth for this.  Whoops.  Oops. I dropped my choppers. Oh, well. I guess Squidward will have to chew it for me. Squidward: Oh, sure, I'll—what?!  Aah. Lily Plankton:  That's it, chew it up real good. That's enough. My turn. Squidward: Aah. Lily Plankton: Aah.  Delicious. SpongeBob, Squidward, Mr. Krabs, and Plankton:  Ew! Lily Plankton: Oh, Sheldon, you've outdone yourself. You really are a master chef. Lily Plankton: Thank you, Sheldon.  You've really made my birthday something extra special this year. Plankton: All right, Grandma.  Got your bag? You are out the door and that is that. Lily Plankton:  Oh, just one more thing. Lily Plankton: My last birthday wish is to get a photo of me posing with the Krabby Patty secret formula. Plankton:  Krabs? Mr. Krabs: Fine. Anything to get that bag with the bag out of here. SpongeBob, Mr. Krabs, and Squidward:  Say cheese. Plankton and Lily Plankton: Cheese. Lily Plankton: Ahhh! Lily Plankton:  Finally, the secret formula is mine! Mr. Krabs: I knew your sincerity was insincere, sir! Plankton: I didn't know anything about this, Eugene, honest! But I love it! Now we can rule the world as a family, eh, Grandma? Lily Plankton:  Sorry, Sheldon, but I'm not sharing the formula with you! Plankton:  But Grandma! Lily Plankton: Adios, mi amour! Mmmm. Plankton: Why? Why did I lie?",Why? Why did I pretend?
"Mr. Krabs: Why?  Why did I give her my formula? Squidward:  Why? Why wouldn't we be open on Tuesday? Idiot! SpongeBob, Mr. Krabs, and Plankton: What have we done? Lily Plankton: I have the secret formula!  This world is mine! Everyone:  Grandma! Grandma! Grandma! Lily Plankton:  Darling,  why don't you toss the peasants a little something? Fred: My leg! Mr. Krabs:  I'll take that, thank you very much.  Safe and sound. Plankton:  Happy birthday, Grandma.",Huh...Patrick?
Patrick: Yeah?,Whaddya wanna do today?
Patrick: I don't know.,"Well, I guess we could play something.  How about a yo--?"
Patrick: No.,Yo.  Buried Treasure Board Game?
Patrick: Nah.,Dollies?
Patrick: Hm..... nope.  No.  Nope. Nope. Uh-uh. No. Nah.,How about this?
Old Man Walker: Hello. Patrick: Uh-uh.,"Hey, we could play with our Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy action figures! Ew. Barnacle Boy's all chewed up. And slimy."
"Patrick:  Yeah, that'll happen.","Ugh, there is just nothing to play with."
Patrick: There's gotta be something we can do. Squidward:  Ladda-de ladd-dum ladda-do... Hey! What are you doing in my house?,"Hi, Squidward. Can you think of anything fun we can do?"
"Patrick: Ugh. I'm so bored. There's gotta be something we can do! SpongeBob and Patrick:  It's Coming?  Oh, boy! ♪It's coming! It's coming! It's coming!♪ Patrick:  Almost there! SpongeBob and Patrick: We're almost there! Patrick:  Here it is!",Welcome to Bikini Bottom's newest...  Toy store?!  Ahhhhh!
Patrick: Ohhhhh!,Oh yeah!
SpongeBob and Patrick: Yeah! Whoooo!,"Well, we're here."
Patrick: But where's the toy store?,"Well, I guess it's not open yet."
"Patrick: Not...open? Construction worker:  What are you cryin' about? Patrick: We wanted to go to the toy store, but it's not open yet! Construction worker: Well, it's open now. Look!  See? Feel better now? Patrick: Mm-hm. Construction worker: Then quit yer cryin' and get in there!","I got it.  Patrick! Patrick, get up..."
"Patrick: Uh, no thanks. I'm good down here.","Look.  Wow!  Patrick, look at that."
Patrick: Wow. Steve the Cashier: Can I help you?,That depends. Tell me. Do you like to  sing?!
"Steve: Oh, no.",Ahem!  ♪La...
Narrator: Several song-filled hours later...,"♪Toys! Glorious toys! La, la, la! Toys! Yeah!♪ Hey, Patrick."
"Patrick:  Hey, SpongeBob. What’s with the tutu?",It's not a tutu! It's a man-tu! You can tell because it has  extra support.  I got the last one.
Patrick: Uh-huh. Fish: Aaahhhhhhhhh!,What a great day! I hope it never ends!
"Patrick: Never! Voice on loudspeaker: Attention, shoppers, the store is now closed. Please exit immediately. Baby:  But I don't wanna go! Timmy:  Dad! I want it!  No!  Ah!",Aw. The store's closing. We'll have to leave now.
Patrick: What part of never don't you understand?,"Patrick, we have to leave."
Patrick: Huh! I'm not moving.,But they'll just come and kick us out!
Patrick: Not if we hide.,Hide? Isn't that kinda sneaky?
"Patrick: Oh, it's sneaky alright. Really sneaky. C'mon, haven't you always wanted to have a toy store all to yourself?",No. But I do now. What do we do first?!
"Patrick: We need to find a hiding spot where they'll never find us. And I know just the place. Guard worm: Security guard: Come on, boy. Let's go. The store is empty, so go ahead and lock 'er up, Frank. Steve: My name is Steve. Security guard: Whatever floats your boat, Frank. Patrick: The coast is clear.  Push, SpongeBob! Push! Push, man, push!  Okay, SpongeBob, gimme your hand. That's my boy. Brace yourself.","Thanks, pal. Well, we did it. Yay!"
"Patrick: Yay! Oh, this is so awesome.","Nothing can ruin it! Patrick, is that you?"
Patrick: What?,"I said, Is that you?"
Patrick: I can't hear you! It's too dark in here! Don't worry. I'll just use my Night Vision.,You have Night Vision?
Patrick:  Yeah.,How long have you had that?
Patrick: Remember that flashlight I shoved up my ear?,"Oh, yeah."
"Patrick: Well, I guess it worked its way into my brain.  Shoot! The batteries are dead! It's dark... and scary!","Calm down, buddy. We just need to find a light switch. But ya have to put me down first."
"Patrick: Yeah. Right, SpongeBob. I let you down, we find the light switch, and everything turns all peachy!",Yes.
"Patrick: Look around you, SpongeBob! We're surrounded!",By... toys?
Patrick: That...want...to...get us.,Gah!  Eeeeeeee!
SpongeBob and Patrick:  Aaahhhhhh!  Aaahhhh! . Patrick: Are we gonna hide in here for the rest of our lives?,No.
Patrick: Are we going to the ladies’ room again?,No. We're going to fight back and we are going to win!
SpongeBob and Patrick: . Patrick: That was fun! Now let's dress up like fairy princesses! .,"Ready, Patrick?"
Patrick: Let's get some! SpongeBob and Patrick:  Nothing can stop it!,"It was nice knowin' ya, pal."
Patrick: I know. I'm an interesting guy. SpongeBob and Patrick: Whew!,"Patrick, don't!"
Patrick: What? SpongeBob and Patrick: Steve:  The Toy Barrel is now open for business. Prepare for more fun than you've ever had. Kids: SpongeBob and Patrick:,My eyes!
"Patrick:  With Neptune as my witness, may you never experience the unholy terrors that are inside that store. Hey, they're open!  I love toys! Plankton:  I surrender! Mr. Krabs: Eh? I wonder what form of trickery is up that miniature cyclops' sleeve this time.  Alright, Plankton, I don't know what you're trying to pull on me, but I'll tell ya right now, it ain't going to work. Plankton: There's no pulling, Krabs. Can't you see my peace offering? Mr. Krabs: What is this?  Ha-ha! Very funny, Plankton! But you're gonna have to do a lot better than taking a stab at my illiteracy to offend me. Plankton: Don't you get it, Krabs? I give up. I'm through competing with you! Mr. Krabs: But what about all those fevered attempts at trying to steal my Krabby Patty recipe? Plankton: Exactly! They've all been just attempts. And every single one a miserable failure. I can feel my arteries clogging up with anxiety just thinking about it.  Let me show you something.  Look at this place! Mr. Krabs:  Criminy, Plankton, you ever heard of spring cleaning? Plankton: What's the point? Do you know when the last time I had a customer was? Mr. Krabs: Actually, I don't recall you ever having a customer. Plankton: Well, there he is.  That's why I've decided to quit the restaurant business altogether, and turn the Chum Bucket into...  this! Mr. Krabs: You want to turn your restaurant into a pile of junk? Plankton: No! These are knickknacks for the new gift shop I'm opening up. Mr. Krabs:  Come on, this has got to be a joke, right? Plankton: I'm serious, Krabs. Soon, the Chum Bucket will be a nice little store for bric-a-brac and bubblegum. Mr. Krabs: All right, Plankton. But be aware, I'm not letting my guard down. Plankton: Guard away, my ex-enemy. I'll just be here starting my new competition-free career.",What's going on Mr. Krabs?
Mr. Krabs: Plankton's concocting another hair-brained scheme to steal me recipe. So keep your eyes peeled.,"Whatever you say, cap'n."
"Mr. Krabs: Now that's an employee who follows orders.  What in blazes is that noise? Plankton: Ah, would you look at that? I have a feeling I'm going to like this new life of novelty items. Mr. Krabs: Uh-huh. Clever, Plankton! Two can play at this game.","Mr. Krabs, look at this cool knickknack I got at the Chumporium."
"Mr. Krabs:  Hmm, I know there's a microphone or camera in here somewhere.","Uhh, Mr. Krabs, I really don't think there's anything weird in there."
"Mr. Krabs: Eh, we'll see about that.  I'll just put this in here for safekeeping. You here that, Plankton?! Join your other friends from the past.  Now nobody's getting to see anything. Don't you understand this is all part of his ruse. It's just cosmetic. He thinks he can take us out. But we'll show him. We're gonna out-fake the faker. Well, it looks like old Plankton is really going through with it. I guess we don't have to worry about him anymore. Yup, we sure whipped him this time. Okay, boys, the coast is clear. Plankton's turned over a new leaf.","That's some good news, Mr. Krabs."
"Mr. Krabs: It sure is, you little half-wit. And you know what else is good news? We can finally use that DJ system. Hit it, SpongeBob.","Right away, sir."
"Mr. Krabs: Let's party!  Ow! I won! It's time to boogie. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! Squidward: This is idiotic. Mr. Krabs: Dance or you're fired. Squidward: You got it, Mr. Krabs. Mr. Krabs:  How do you like them apples, you little... Plankton:  Come on, buddy, let's get some shut eye. We have a big day ahead of us at the Chumporium Gift Shop. Mr. Krabs: Wait a minute.  What the...?  Store shelves? Novelty toys? Lava lamps?  Useless knickknacks? Very convincing. But I'm still not buying it. You want a battle, Plankton? I'm gonna give you a war. Plankton:  Ah. A clean snow globe is a happy snow globe. Mr. Krabs: Plankton! You may have fooled everyone else, you might have even fooled yourself, but you ain't fooling me. Plankton: Oh, I get it. You caught me red-handed.  Those were the days, huh Eugene? Mr. Krabs: Grr... Plankton: But I found there more to life than just trying to steal your formula. And I found it all right here in novelty items. Mr. Krabs: Bubkes. Plankton: Ah, Eugene. Stuck in your old ways. Mr. Krabs: Bubkes! If there's one thing certain in this world, it's that you can't resist me formula.  You know you want it. Plankton: Thanks, but no. Mr. Krabs: A-ha, I knew it.  It was all a trick to get me to hand over... Wait, did you say no? Plankton: Well, if you don't believe me, that's your problem not mine. Mr. Krabs: Problem?! I don't have a problem! You're the one with the problem! Look at this. It means nothing. It's all a facade, a hoax, a con, a front...  ...a sham, a snow job...  ...bologna with a side of flimflam and an order of Jive!  SEE?! Who's the one with the problem?! Plankton: Look what you've done. This is my livelihood. Mr. Krabs: Sure it is. And this isn't the formula that you don't want. Come on, eh? Eh? Oop. Too slow. Plankton:  Get out! Mr. Krabs:  Oh, I get it. Stick to your guns, and eventually we'll all believe it. Soften us up and when our backs are turned, you'll make your move.  Oops. Plankton: What's this?  Hey, Krabs! Mr. Krabs: I knew you'd come back. Plankton: You forgot something.  Can't you understand I've wasted so much time chasing after you? And now I have something that's mine. And it makes me happy. Mr. Krabs: I never thought I'd see the day. What happened to the invertebrate I used to know? Plankton! Plankton: Coming, coming.  Yo. Mr. Krabs: Uh, Plankton? Plankton: Eugene? Mr. Krabs: Uh, hey. Plankton: Hey. Mr. Krabs: Listen, uh, I just wanted to...you know...apologize for my behavior today. Wasn't right what I done. And I realized I hurt the feelings of, uh, someone I care about. You still there? Plankton: Yes. I'm still here. Mr. Krabs: Heh, good. Uh...I want to make it up to you. What do you say we grab a soda? Plankton: Sure. Mr. Krabs: Glad you could make it, buddy. Plankton: So, what's this about, Krabs? Mr. Krabs: I figured since we're no longer archenemies, maybe, maybe we can start over. Plankton: Yes. Yes, I would like that very much.  I guess I won. Mr. Krabs: Uh, I don't know about this, Plankton. Plankton: Oh, come on. Just fall back. Trust me, I'll catch you. Mr. Krabs: That was truly amazing, Plank, old buddy. I guess I really can trust you 100%. Plankton: Thanks, Eugene. That means a lot to me. Mr. Krabs: And just to prove it to you, I want you to have something. Plankton: Oh, no, no, come on now. No gifts. Mr. Krabs: No, no. I want you to have this. It's the secret formula. Plankton: I can't believe you would even think... Mr. Krabs: Things are different now. Honestly. It would mean a lot to me. Plankton: You...you're serious. Eugene, if I take this formula from you now, there will always be a hint of doubt. Mr. Krabs: Come on, take it. Plankton: You sure?  Life is good, Krabs. Mr. Krabs: Sure is, buddy. Sure is. Plankton: Yeah, baby! This is it. Yeah! Whoo!  I got it! I got it! My diabolical, extremely convoluted plan worked! I should've been a politician. Mr. Krabs: I'd never give you the formula. I fooled you with an even more convoluted charade.","Get up, Patrick! It's time!"
Patrick:  Time for what?,The big shin-dig! Remember?
"Patrick: No, besides, I don't really think my shins should be involved. They're a bit flabby today.","That's shin dig, buddy. We're spending the day at the beach in the honor of our best friendship."
"Patrick: The beach! Just you and me!?  So am I ready for the beach, SpongeBob?",Uhhh... Sure. A little sunscreen and I'm sure you'll be fine!  I'm spending the whole day at the beach with my best friend.
Guy on Bus: You're hurting me!,Guess what?
Person in front of him (Harold):  What?,I'm going to the beach with my best friend!  Ooohhhh buuusss drrrivvver!
Bus driver:  What?,"Okay, out of everybody on this bus, guess which one is my best friend?"
Bus driver: I don't care.,"You know what this situation calls for. Patrick!  A few verses of the best friend tune! ♪Ohhhh best fr-♪  Hey! Wait! This is not our stop! Oh, how are we going to get to the beach now, Patrick? We don't even know where we are."
Patrick: I knew it! We've been abandoned!,No! No! Patrick! No one is ever going to find us out here!
"Volleyball player:  A little help, bro?","Look, Patrick! We made it! Hey best friend? Check this out!  It's a small plastic disc that you throw!"
Patrick: Small plastic disc that you throw!  I love to play... small plastic disc that you throw!,"I do, too, buddy. If only small plastic disc that you throw had a shorter, catchier name."
Patrick: Ohhh...hmmm... How about small plastic disc that you toss!?,"Perfect! Now run along, Patrick, and I'll  toss it to you!"
Patrick:  Ha ha ha ha.,Ready?!
"Nat: Ha ha ha! That's why they call it a sandwich! Patrick:  I caught it!  Wasn't that cool, SpongeBob? Life Guard:  I can assure you, that was not cool! Just look at what you've done! Your buffoonery has destroyed the lifeguard tower! Why don't you find something to do that's less obnoxious? Patrick: Like what? Life Guard: I don't know, go play in the sand or something! Patrick: Well, I don't know. Playing with the sand sounds pretty boring.","Nonsense, Patrick. There are plenty of fun things to do in the sand. We can draw, or practice our cursive writing, or..."
"Patrick: Boring, SpongeBob, boring!","I know, we can make sand castles!"
Patrick: That sounds  un-boring!,"No one's ever been annoyed by a sand castle.  Nothing quite like the joy of sand castling, eh, buddy?  How ya doing over there?"
Patrick:  Everything's dandy in Patrick's Kingdom.,"Oh, a structure like that can't protect a king and his subjects. Here, let me help you. First, you should start all over."
Patrick: Whoa! What are you doing!? You destroyed my castle!,"I'm just trying to help, buddy!"
"Patrick: Well, I don't need any help. Patrick's Architect: Here are those architectural plans you requested. Patrick: Why thank you. Here's a little something for you.","Well, I suppose I should just tend to the affairs of my own realm.  And I'll start by making a queen to rule by your side."
"Patrick:  Now, we're even!","All right, Patrick, have it your way.  You keep to your territory and I'll keep to mine."
"Patrick:  Now, this'll show SpongeBob that he's not the only one who can build a castle! Let's see SpongeBob destroy this castle!","I better build a wall just in case King Pinky gets any funny ideas.  Oh, sir, you built onto my side."
Patrick: So?,"So, you don't do that!  There! That restores the integrity of our shared border."
Patrick: You tyrant! You've done it again! I'll show you what for!,But what for what!?
"Patrick:  Now, we're even... again!","Okay, Patrick, I can accept that. No more destruction from this point forward, okay? Okay, back to square one again.  I hereby propose a non-aggression treaty to end hostilities between our two kingdoms.  Patrick, by signing this historic armistice you have brought peace to our lands. May your kingdom prosper! Well that went well!  What are you doing!? What about the treaty!?"
Patrick: This treaty isn't worth the sand it's printed on!,"Oh, is that so!? Well, if you think you can take down this castle, my answer is bring it on!  Patrick, I'm trying to be the nice guy here, okay? Let's call this silly business off."
Patrick: No way! You started it.,Fine! Have it your way.
Patrick:  Whatever.  No no no no no.  Oh hello! And goodbye.,Come on!  How do you like them apples?
Patrick:  You'll never win! Do you hear me!?,"Uh huh... mmm hmm. Well put, general! We'll create a surprise military diversion and break through enemy lines. What say you?  Yes! We'll ready ourselves immediately!  How do you like me now?"
Patrick:  I like you this much!  Feel me!,Patrick... Patrick! Are you okay!?
Patrick:  The question is... will you be!?  No fair!,"All is fair in love and war my friend slash enemy, or should I say, my friend-enemy!?  Now let's have some real fun!"
"Beach Onlooker:  What was that!? Come on, we got to get out of here! Patrick:  Oh, yeah? Two can play at this game!",Jumping jellyfish! WHOA!
"Patrick: I wasn't going to do this, but you've left me no choice. Gryphon:  Let's beat it, dude!",Ohhhh.
Patrick:  Ohhhh. What happened?,"I'll tell you what happened, Patrick... I got carried away."
"Patrick: Me, too...was it worth it?","No, no, it wasn't. What started out as a fun dream turned into a horrible, brutal, nightmare. As the winds of time changed the silvery sands of these dunes to a new landscape, so let us hope that our own winds of change will change our spiritual dunes to a landscape of peace. Oh buddy, let's never forget this lesson."
"Lifeguard: Let's also not forget who's going to clean this place up. SpongeBob & Patrick: Oooh, uhhhh, ahhhh... Lifeguard:  Better get started! You've got a lot of work to do. Patrick: I bet I can clean up faster than you!",Oh yeah? I bet you can't!
"Patrick: Yes, I can!","No, I can!"
"Patrick: Oh, I can!",I can!
"Patrick: Hey, look at this! Squidward:  Closing time. The happiest time of the day!","Closing time.  The saddest time of the day!  Huh?  It's a Krabby Patty.  Eww... It's cold and hard.  This could have rolled under there years ago.  There, there, little one, your journey is almost over."
Mr. Krabs:  What happened?  Someone tried to throw away a patty! Pinch-o-matic: Pinch-o-matic has saved you 5.2 cents.,"But, Mr. Krabs, I found that under the grill."
"Mr. Krabs: And tomorrow, a customer will find it under his bun.",But it's old and cold. And so very full of mold.
Mr. Krabs: You're not to make another Patty until that one is sold. Understand? Narrator: The next day...,"Order up, Squidward."
"Squidward:  Hooray.  Uh... SpongeBob, can I get one with less... fog?","Sorry, Squidward. Mr. Krabs' orders."
"Squidward: Whatever.  Here you are, sir. One Krabby Patty. Mr. Krabs: I don't understand! We haven't had a customer in weeks! I wonder if it's the new placemats? Squidward: What?  Placemats?! Have you lost your mind? It's that old Patty you keep trying to sell to everybody! It's gone bad. Mr. Krabs: Gone bad? That's nonsense! Bring it here, SpongeBob.  Uh, why is it in a cage?",Because it growled at me.
"Mr. Krabs: You two would have never have lasted in the navy. Let's see how bad you are.  No... no...  Stay...  Thatta girl! There, there.  See? Good enough to eat.  Oh, look, an ambulance. Now, then...  SpongeBob?","Yes, Mr. Krabs?"
"Mr. Krabs: Make sure you wrap up that Patty. I'm not finished with it yet! Purple Doctorfish: Well, Mr. Krabs, you gave us quite the scare. Mr. Krabs: So I'm gonna be okay, doc? Purple Doctorfish: Well, if you don't want to take my word for it, let's just check your chart.  Let's see here. Hmmm... oh, no!  Oh no, this is terrible! Mr. Krabs: Everything okay, doc? Purple Doctorfish: Don't touch me! Mr. Krabs: That's not a good sign. Flying Dutchman: Har, har har har har har har har har har! Mr. Krabs: Oh, no, it's the Flying Dutchman! Flying Dutchman: Eugene Krabs, your time has come. Mr. Krabs: I'm not Eugene Krabs, I'm, uhh, Harold. Harold, uhh...  Flower! Flying Dutchman: Oh, sorry. I must have the wrong room.  Excuse me, nurse? Nurse:  Yes? Flying Dutchman: I'm looking for Eugene Krabs. Nurse: Oh, he's in that room right there. Flying Dutchman: No, that's Harold Flower's room. Nurse:  Harold Flower? Flying Dutchman: So, Krabs, you thought you could fool the Flying Dutchman? Mr. Krabs: What do you want from me? Flying Dutchman: I'm here to escort you to the resting place of all bad undersea folk: Davy Jones' locker! Mr. Krabs: Davy Jones' locker?! Why do I have to go there? I'm not a bad crab! Flying Dutchman: Ah, but you were cheap, and being cheap is a terrible thing. Next stop, Davy Jones' locker!  Here we are. Mr. Krabs:  Blec! Why does it smell so foul? Flying Dutchman: Davy Jones works out a lot.  These are his socks. Get in! Mr. Krabs:  Oh, please, Mr. Dutchman, I don't wanna go in there! I'll do anything! Please, give me another chance! Flying Dutchman: Come on, Krabs, show a little dignity. Mr. Krabs:  Mommy! Flying Dutchman: Alright, alright, stop your crying. I'll give you another chance, but you must always be generous, never cheap. Mr. Krabs: You have me word as a sailor. Squidward:  Mr. Krabs' nose hair clippers. I could use these.","Squidward, you shouldn't be going through Mr. Krabs' belongings.  He won't like it!"
"Squidward: SpongeBob, I told you what the doctor said. Mr. Krabs isn't coming back.  Now, keep quiet so I can hear the tumblers in his safe. Mr. Krabs: Hey, boys!","Mr. Krabs, I knew it! You're alive!  Squidward, look, it's Mr. Krabs! Isn't this too good to be true?"
"Squidward:  Well, it was. Mr. Krabs: You know, boys, being sick made me do a lot of thinking. My whole life has been about money. Saving money, collecting money,  touching money...  Well, you get the picture. But no more. You're looking at the new, improved, non-cheap Mr. Krabs.  Welcome all, welcome!  Hello, little one. What you got there? Monroe: A Krabby Patty. Mr. Krabs:  Of course, you do! You know what that means, right? Monroe: I don't go hungry? Mr. Krabs: No, silly! It means free toy! Monroe: Gee, thanks Mr. Krabs. I thought you were a cheap, old tightwad. Mr. Krabs: I was, son, I was. Free toys for everyone! And free refills!  Hello, boy! Say, where's Squidward?","Oh, he's taking one of those break things in your office, I mean, the 'employee lounge'."
"Mr. Krabs:  Great! Martha: Excuse me, but I dropped my Krabby Patty. Could I get another one? Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob?","Yes sir.  Krusty Krab policy clearly states that once the burger has reached the customer, it is his/her responsibility..."
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob!  That's the old policy. Now run back and bring out a fresh one.,"Aye, aye, sir."
"Mr. Krabs: Sorry about the confusion.  Free toy? Squidward: Eugene, my man. Mr. Krabs: Squidward! How's the break coming? Squidward: Should be over in a couple of hours. Have SpongeBob send back a patty and an iced-tea, will you? Mr. Krabs: Sure thing, Squidward. Take it easy.  Are you enjoying your in-meal movie? Harold: This movie hasn't even been in the theaters yet! Mr. Krabs:  No expense spared for my valued customers.  Look at all those happy faces. It sure does feel good to be generous. Squidward:  Here's your mail, Eugene. Mr. Krabs: Thanks, Squidward. You look rested. Squidward: Yeah, these naps at work are doing wonders for me. Mr. Krabs: Credit card bills. Well, I knew this was coming. Let's see what the damage is.  Only ten thousand dollars. That's not so bad.  I'll just subtract it from today's profit.  And...there's no money in here.  How delightful.","Squidward, I'm worried about Mr. Krabs."
"Squidward: Me, too. How are we gonna get paid?  Gee, Mr. Krabs, you sure are taking total bankruptcy well. Mr. Krabs: Oh, it's just a bad dream. I'll wake up soon. Squidward: Uh... dream? Mr. Krabs: Sure. I'm still in the hospital sleeping like a baby!","Umm, you checked out of the hospital this morning."
"Squidward: Here's the bill. Mr. Krabs: You mean... I'm awake?  No more refills!  Give me back them toys, you freeloaders!  Show's over, cheapskate! Nathiel Waters: Hey, it's my lucky day, a penny! Mr. Krabs:  Your luck just ran out! Nathiel Waters: Hey man, ease back, you're crushing my arm. Mr. Krabs: Unhand that penny, or the arm comes off. Flying Dutchman: A-ha! That little display of parsimonious penny pinching just earned you a nice little spot in Davy Jones' locker... For eternity! Mr. Krabs: I'm not cheap, I'm generous! Squidward: You almost tore a man's arm off for a penny. Mr. Krabs:  Thanks, Squidward, I knew I could count on you.  Well, a deal's a deal. Let's go.",Wait just a burger-flipping second!
Flying Dutchman: Who dares back-sass the Flying Dutchman?,"That would be me: SpongeBob Back-SassPants. I say you got the wrong crab. This Mr. Krabs is the most generous, big-hearted, non-skinflinted crab in the whole sea."
Flying Dutchman: He'd sell your soul for a couple of bucks.,I'd bet my soul he wouldn't.
"Flying Dutchman: You got yourself a bet. Okay, Krabs, I'll let you stay, but first, help me settle a bet. If you had to choose between SpongeBob and all the money I have in my pocket, which would you take? Mr. Krabs: That depends, how much money we talking about?",Mr. Krabs!
Flying Dutchman:  62 cents. Mr. Krabs: I'll take the money.,Mr. Krabs!
"Flying Dutchman: Here you go, Krabs. Sixty-two cents.  Next stop: Davy Jones' locker! Mr. Krabs:  Look, Squidward, money! Squidward: Mr. Krabs, I can't believe I'm saying this, but how could you trade SpongeBob for sixty-two cents? Mr. Krabs: You think I could've gotten more? Squidward: He stuck up for you and you sold him out. You should be ashamed of yourself! Mr. Krabs:  Oh, what have I done?  I want another chance! I didn't learn anything! I lost me best fry cook! I don't want this foul money!  I want SpongeBob back! Flying Dutchman: Here, take him back. Mr. Krabs: You heard what I said about the money? Flying Dutchman: Heard what you said? I couldn't hear myself thinking with this one around. I only had him for thirty seconds.  And it's jellyfishing this and Mermaid Man that. Why, not giving him back is a fate worse than death!","Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy merchandise were the closest thing to everything. I love jellyfishing, you should love jellyfishing. You should come some time and bring your own net!"
"Flying Dutchman: He's your problem now. Mr. Krabs: Heh, about trading you for pocket change...","Say no more, Mr. Krabs. You did it for the Krusty Krab. I would have done the same thing."
Mr. Krabs: You would have?,No.
Flying Dutchman:  Dutchman's residence.,"So, as I was saying, you and me gotta hang out more. What nights are good for you? Here are the nights that are good for me: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. I gotta work.  I work at the Krusty Krab. My best friend is Patrick. He's pink. ♪Krabby Patties, Krabby Patties, love cookin' me some Krabby Patties! Feedin' all the children and the mommies and the daddies! Love servin' up the most delicious dish, but before I can, gotta add a little of this!♪  Hmm, time to refill the tartar sauce.  Empty! I thought I'd never see the day. Use on or before the date printed below.  This can has been here for 50 years. That's longer than me! Oh, important Krusty Krab relic, what shall we do with ye?"
"Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, throw that trash out and get back to work!","Trash? Oh, but, Mr. Krabs, this should be in a museum for future generations to enjoy."
"Mr. Krabs:  Hmm. Future generations, huh? Mr. Krabs: Welcome to the Krusty Krab Time Capsule Spectacular! That's right! In 50 years, your donated treasures will be honored for future generations to enjoy!  All right, you guys got donations covered, right?","Sir, yes, sir!"
Squidward: Whatever. Mr. Krabs: I'm gonna go ahead and take care of souvenirs!,"The peoples of the future must see this, so they will know how we toasted bread in the before time. So that they can understand the..."
"Squidward: Garbage. That'll be a $5 contribution fee. Mr. Krabs: And there's your commemorative time capsule key chain. That'll be $49.57. Billy: But, this thing's made out of rusty old paper clips and cardboard! Mr. Krabs: All right. You drive a hard bargain. I'll throw in a coupon for one free ice cube in a purchase of any large cola at the Krusty Krab. What do ya say? Billy:  Deal!","What a beautiful lamp, ma'am, so ornate, essential for night time reading."
"Sadie: Why, thank you, young man! Squidward: No, thank you for completely failing our future generations with your donation. I mean, seriously, ma'am, did you just grab the first thing you saw this morning? Sadie: Well, actually, I... Squidward:  Hmm. Oh, whatever shall I donate to the time capsule? Golly, this is hard! How about  this lamp?! It's  perfect! Sadie: Wow, you're good. How did you know all that? Are you like a psychic? Oh, oh, oh! Tell me what I'm thinking! Squidward: Next.","Hey, nice pass, Squidward!"
"Squidward: Uh-huh. Tell me, what do you know about this plate? Man: Uh, it works good when I eat stuff. Squidward: Right. This plate is actually not meant to be eaten on. Now with your permission, I'd like to perform a few tests to verify its authenticity. Man: Uh, okay. Squidward:  Uh-huh.  Interesting.  This is a promising sign. Yep.  You hear that plate-hitting-skull sound? It's definitely authentic. And I would price it conservatively in today's market at $250. Man: Really? Squidward: No.",You are the crown jewel of the time capsule!
Squidward: Next.,A four-striped sock! Incredible!
French Narrator: 2 hours later...,"Okay, Squidward. I think that's everyone."
"Patrick:  SpongeBob! SpongeBob, did I make it? I brought my favorite rock to donate to the time thinger.","Ooh, are you sure you can part with it, Patrick?"
Patrick: Sometimes you've got to make sacrifices.,After you then!
"Patrick: Thank you, my good man. Squidward: Sorry, Patrick, but there's no way I'm letting you put your dumb rock in the time capsule. I've allowed some seriously ridiculous items today, but this is where I draw the line. Do you unders...? Patrick: Okay, Rocky, you're going bye-bye now. Squidward: Oh, no, you don't!","You know, that didn't hurt as bad as I thought it would."
"Patrick: What didn't? Hey, look, a yo-yo!","Patrick, you're very good at that!"
"Mr. Krabs: And thanks so much for all your contributions! So are ya ready to put this thing in the ground?! Plankton: Curse that Krabs and his cheering crowds! Big whoop-- a stupid time capsule. Mr. Krabs: But, before we do, I'd like to make a contribution of my own. A copy of the Krabby Patty formula! Plankton:  There it is! The one element that can turn this lonesome bucket of steel into a bustling world famous eatery! Mr. Krabs:  Send her down!","He shoots, he scores!"
Squidward:  Get off me!,"Hey, Squidward, what are you doing?"
"Patrick: Yeah, it looks fun! Squidward: WE JUST GOT BURIED ALIVE, YOU IDIOTS!","I know, but what are you doing?"
"Mr. Krabs: Who's ready to eat some Krabby Patties, 'cause all that waiting in line's got you super hungry?",Hmm. What should we do for the next 50 years?
"Patrick: I'm just gonna hang here for a while, maybe get a kelp soda later.","Patrick, you can't go anywhere. We're trapped down here till they open that capsule in 50 years."
Patrick:  50 years? What are we gonna do till then?,I don't know. We've got 50 years' worth of stuff to play with here!  It's our favorite game!
Both: Pretzel Pals! Patrick: Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!,"Yes, yes, now where did we leave off?"
Patrick: I believe my left hand was on red.,My right foot was on blue.
Patrick: Forehead on yellow.,Left foot on green. [kicks Squidward in the face. He throws the game off him and on SpongeBob and Patrick
"Squidward: That's it, this game is over! Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob, what do you think Bikini Bottom will be like in the future?",Hmmm.
"Future Fish: Welcome to the future, history person. During your absence, our society has achieved numerous advances we're sure you'll find to be quite impressive.  Well?","Wow, a water fountain for short people! What will the future think of next?"
"Patrick: Not bad, SpongeBob. Not bad. I dream of a town with a perfect blend of commerce and irrigation.  Not to mention the breathtaking views.","Sounds dreamy, Pat. What do you think the future will be like, Squidward?"
"Future Octopus:  His art embodies the soul that our society has lost. And it is here,  the location of the suffering that inspired that art that we place the Squidward Tentacles Memorial Museum!",Squidward? Squidward? Squidward? Squidward?
"Plankton:  Jackpot! And now to extract the secret recipe.  Careful. Careful. SpongeBob & Patrick: Sixteen Bikini Bottom, nineteen Bikini Bottom, twenty! Ready or not, here we... Patrick: Nice try, Squidward, but we both already got that hiding spot figured out.  Whipped cream!  Oh, this whipped cream tastes awful!  Sha-veeng g-el. I've always wanted a beard!","Me too!  Do you want one too, Squidbeard?"
"Squidward:  Wha...? Oh! Has it been 50 years already?  Yes! I knew I'd still be hot! Plankton:  Secret recipe, where are you? Aha! Squidward: Hello, future!  Yes! Huh? What the...?! Where's my museum? The future is the same as my old pathetic life! Forget this! I'm waiting another 50 years! Plankton: Finally, the Krabby Patty secret recipe! Squidward:  Dig me out when my life doesn't stink. Karen: Don't hurt yourself, Poopsy. Plankton: Quiet, Karen. Just bring me more prunes. Narrator: Ahhh... The Krusty Krab, Bikini Bottom's answer to fine dining. And here we see one of its patrons now.  Ah... yes, moving on. Oh, it is the SpongeBob, creator of the fine cuisine within. Now let us watch. Squidward: One Krabby Patty, extra grease.",Whoa!
Squidward: Mmm.,Ooh!
"Squidward: All right, let me see it.  The Krusty Krab work schedule, what's so great about this?","What's so... why, it's my happy book. The Krusty Krab is where all of my happiest memories occurred."
"Squidward: Hmmm...  Oops, I accidentally burned up your memories.","Don't worry, Squidward.  I have a whole cabinet of backups.  So what's your happiest memory, Squidward?"
"Squidward: Ummm, let me think...    I guess I don't have a happiest memory. Oh, well. Squidward: Yes?!","Squidward, you don't have a happiest memory?"
Squidward: So what?,How can you live without a happiest memory? Do you cry yourself to sleep at night?
Squidward: I hear you crying all the time.,"Well, with joy, Squidward, with joy."
"Squidward: Look, I don't need a happy memory, so just get back to your culinary grease factory and leave me alone. Sandals: Hey, I'd like to order a Krabby Patty, please.  Okay... can someone else take my order? Sandals:  I'll wait. Squidward:  You're right, SpongeBob, I don't have a happy memory. This is horrible!","Don't worry, Squidward, I'll help you make a happiest memory."
Squidward:  Really? Do you think you can?,No problem.
"Squidward: Well, it's against my better judgement, but, okay.","You love music, right, Squidward?"
Squidward: Mmm hmm.,Then this will definitely be your happiest memory!
"Squidward: Hey, this isn't so bad. I think I actually feel kinda...happy!",See? Your happiest memory is forming! Oops. That was a sour note.
Squidward: This is not my happiest memory... Squidward: Why are we at the Art Museum?,"Well, you love art. Maybe you'll find a happiest moment in here!"
"Squidward: Great... I get to see all the art of people who have succeeded where I've failed. My art will never be shown in this...   What the? This... this is my sculpture! How did it get here? Curator:  Oh! You're just in time! Art lovers, this is Squidward Tentacles! Creator of this piece!",Wow! Your work at a museum Squidward!
Squidward:  Gosh! I can't believe it! I think this might be it!,Your happiest memory?
Squidward: Yeah! Curator: And now the performance artist Fiasco will say a few words about this piece Squidward: Gosh! Fiasco himself is talking about my art! Fiasco: Ahem! Squid... ward... go toward... the light...  of my flamethrower! Squidward: And now he's melted it...  Not a happiest memory...,Um... it's kinda smokey in here!  You need fresh air! What a majestic view!
Squidward: What view?,Oh yeah! I forgot about your blindfold!  Isn't it beautiful?
Squidward:  Very nice... except that I'm  afraid of heights!,Oh! Sorry Squidward! I'll take us down!
Squidward:  What?! No!  Oh boy...  Oh yeah...nice view... Harold:  Son of a seahorse! Twenty years of training and a couple of amateurs just leap out of a balloon! Here!  You plant it!  All that time and money and resources wasted on...,Hey! We're the first to ever reach the top of Mt. Bikini! Surely that makes for a happiest memory! I claim this mountain in the name of Squidward Tentacles!
"Squidward:  Uh oh... Harold: Stupid amateurs...  Fantastic... Squidward: Time to face facts. I'll never have a happiest memory.  And if I do, it definitely won't involve you.  Hello misery... I'm home...  I might as well go to bed for a hundred years or so.  Wake me when I'm dead... Narrator: Two weeks later...","Gary, I am worried about Squidward. He hasn't come out of his house for two weeks now!"
Gary:,Why isn't he answering?  Squidward! Squidward! Now I'm really worried! Squidward! Squidward!  Gasp! Squidward! Down here! He's upstairs!  Hey! Hey! Squidward!  Well at least we know that he is still alive. Uh oh...  I'm okay Gary!
Gary: Meow...,Squidward sure seems depressed. I think I'll call him to cheer him up!  Hello? Squidward? Are you there?  Squidward? Are you there? Squidward?
Gary: Meow?,"Gary? What are you doing at Squidward's? Uh Gare? Can you put Squidward on the phone?  Hold on a second, someone is on the other line.  Hello? Hello!? Hello!?  Hello?"
"Squidward: I just can't seem to get happy...  Well, that didn't help...  Huh? That's strange, I could have swear I just threw that darn phone away.  Oh yeah. My fax machine. Now, why did I buy that again?","Hi, Squidward!  You sure are a hard man to get a hold of!  Hey, do I smell brownies?"
Squidward: Yes...  Thanks for stopping by. Gary: Sigh... meow.,"Thanks Gary! I have to find a way to give Squidward a happiest memory. These pants may be square, but it's time to think outside the box!"
"Squidward:  I can't seem to get happy...  Maybe this will help.  Nope... I guess not...  Oh great... I wonder who that could be...  You're not SpongeBob. Mailfish: I have a package for a Squidward Tentaclees? Squidward: Tentacles. Yes that's me. Mailfish: Well, here you go. Squidward: Thanks...  Doesn't say who's it from. No doubt SpongeBob is hiding inside. Ah well, here goes nothing.  Gotcha! Huh?  It's empty. Empty, just like my miserable life!  I see nothing but darkness ahead...  SpongeBob!?","Surprise! I figured out you needed a party to help cheer you up! Unfortunately, everybody I tried to invite was busy or sick but don't worry! I used my paper mâché skills to fill the party with your favorite person: me!  So what do you think? Happiest memory or what?"
Squidward: You don't seem to understand.  I... don't... want... a... happiest memory!,So you enjoying the hors d'oeuvres?
"Squidward:  I feel wonderful!  This is it, my happiest memory!",Sigh... he's so handsome!
"Patrick:  No, no!  Yay! Nerd: Well, if only Inaudible Lad were here right now. Patrick: Oh.  Nothing satisfies like a good story.","Are ya ready to go, Patrick?"
"Patrick:  Get back, I wasn't going to eat all of you!","Patrick, it's me!"
Patrick: Sponge--,"Ew, what's this?"
"Patrick:  Well, whatever it is, it's mine! Unless I don't want it!  SpongeBob, what do all these words say?",It's an ad.  Dear Comic Book Reader.
Patrick: That's me!,Have you ever thought about turning one of your poems into a hit song on the radio?
Patrick: I never thought about anything!,Send in your poem and $100 and we'll make it a hit!  Can we go now? My arms are getting tired.
"Patrick: I want to send in a poem, and everyone would love it, and I would be a star!","You can't always trust ads in comic books. Those X-Ray specs I ordered couldn't see through people's skin at all!  Only their clothes! Plus, you don't have $100.  Patrick, could you get my wallet?"
"Patrick: Hey, look.  I just found $100! It's a sign that I should make my hit record.","Hey, that's my comic book money!"
Patrick:  It's a sign! A sign that fell from the back of your pants. I've learned to trust signs like that.,Patrick.
"Comic Book Store Clerk: Hey, you going to pay for those comics?",No.  Ow! Can I have my arms back?
"Patrick: I wish not to be disturbed, SpongeBob, for I am about to erupt with a masterpiece.",Good luck.  Coming--
"Patrick: SpongeBob, could I borrow a pencil and some paper and a place to work? Patrick:  SpongeBob! This pencil is broken! Why won't it make words?",You have to think of the words yourself.
"Patrick: I think I wrote a poem once. Young Patrick: A Poem, by Patrick Star. Roses are blue, violets are red, I have to go to the bathroom. Gym Teacher: How many times do I gotta tell ya, this is gym class! Patrick:  Ohh, dodgeballs.","Oh, Patrick!"
Patrick:  Don't hit me with a dodgeball! Gary: Meow.,Why would I hit you with a dodgeball?
"Patrick: I've never told anyone this, I wrote a poem once.",No!
"Patrick: Wait! There's more. When I read it to the class, they pelted me with dodgeballs! Just because we were playing dodgeball!  Whyyyyyy?!","You can play your records later, Gary. Patrick, is that why you've been having trouble writing?"
Patrick: I'm worried my poem's not gonna be any good and you're going to hit me with dodgeballs.,"Oh, I don't even own a dodgeball. Do you, Gary?"
"Gary:  Meow. Patrick: If you're serious, I can do this. I'm even gonna use my brain.","That's the spirit, Patrick! I'll open a window."
"Patrick:  Come on, you stupid brain! work!  It's working!","Patrick, don't strain yourself."
"Squidward: Now, what's going on?  What is that horrible smell?  Is Patrick thinking again? Patrick: I'm making art! Squidward: Patrick, it smells like something crawled in your brain and died. Patrick: That's the creative process at work!  Ready to go to the post office?  I need to mail in my masterpiece. Narrator: The next day... Lead Singer: ♪--and that's why you're my cookie-wookie teddy bear!♪ Guitarist #1: I hate my life. Keyboardist: I hate your life, too, dude. Band Manager: People! We have 17 more songs to finish this hour! Next up is: I Wrote This by Patrick Star.  Yick. Guitarist #2: This one's really bad! It made my eyeballs throw up. Guitarist #1: Oh yeah. Band Manager: I don't care how awful his poem is! We spent his 100 bucks already! Guitarist #1: Come on, guys. We're going to do this if it kills us. A 1, a 2 and a-- Charlie:  They wanted you to have this. Patrick: My song. Ahh...","Come on, let's hear it!"
"Patrick: Um, I don't know. You're not gonna throw dodgeballs at me?",I don't see any dodgeballs here buddy. Just an artist and his work.
Patrick: Yeah! And me too! Now sit down and get comfortable.,"Uh, Patrick?"
Patrick:  SpongeBob SquarePants! Are you ready to rock?! Whooo!,It's really loud!
"Patrick: You need it louder? Okay! Lead singer:  ♪Twinkle, twinkle, Patrick Star. I made myself a sandwich. My mommy named it Fred. It tastes like beans and bacon. And smells like it's been dead. Writing stuff is hard so I use a pointy pencil. Pointy, pointy, pointy, pointy, pointy, point. P.U., what's that horrible smell?♪ Singer: Drum Solo! Lead Singer: ♪I have a head, it ends in a point. pointy, pointy, pointy, pointy, pointy, point.♪  ♪This song is over, except for this line, you win this round, broccoli!♪ Patrick: That was awesome! Did you like it or did you really, really like it? Give me your completely honest opinion of how great it was.",Oh...hmm... how do I put this delicately-- That was the best song I ever heard!
Patrick: Do you really think so?,We need to get that song on the radio!
"Patrick: Then let's go right now, come on!","Darn, I just got that arm back."
Patrick: I can't wait to see look on their face once they hear this.,Did you see the look on his face?
Patrick: Yeah. Did you see his ears?,"I didn't know they could turn inside out like that. Now, how are we going to get your record on the radio?"
Patrick: What record?,I got an idea!  We just have to play your record from the top of this antenna.
Patrick: Carry me?,Huh? Patrick--
"Patrick: Oh, yeah. I forgot. Lead Singer: ♪Twinkle, twinkle, Patrick Star--♪ Ralph: Lead Singer: ♪--I made myself a sandwich, my mommy named it Fred--♪ Billy:  It's in my head! Lead Singer: ♪--It tastes like beans and bacon, and smells like it's been dead,♪  ♪Writing stuff is hard so I use a pointy pencil--♪ Frank: Lucky. Lead Singer: ♪--Pointy, Pointy, Pointy, Pointy, Pointy, Point--♪ Harold:  This song always makes me think of you. Lead Singer: ♪--P.U., what's that horrible smell?♪ Singer: Drum solo! Billy: Stop! Lead Singer: ♪--I have a head, it ends in a point--♪ Fish:  My ears! Lead Singer: ♪--Pointy, pointy, pointy, pointy, pointy, point--♪  ♪--This song is over, except for this line--♪ Old Man Walker: I like it. Lead Singer: ♪--you win this round, broccoli!♪","Well, it looks like Bikini Bottom is throwing a party. and you know what a party needs."
"Patrick: Uh, bean dip?","Yes, that is important. But I was thinking about music! Turn it up, Patrick!"
Lead Singer: ♪It tastes like beans and bacon--♪ Fred:  Where is that awful song coming from? Lead Singer: ♪--And it smells like it's been dead--♪ Fred:  To the radio station! Lou: Torches! Get your torches! Harold: Pitchforks! You can't be an angry mob without pitchforks! Peterson: Cotton Candy! Get your cotton candy! Can't throw a riot without cotton candy! Lead Singer: ♪--I have a head. It ends in a point--♪,"Look at that, Patrick!"
"Patrick: Oh, you mean the angry mob with the pitchforks and torches?","That's not an angry mob, Patrick. It's your fan club!"
Patrick: Fan club?  Yee-whoo! We should sing them a song! Fred: Who's responsible for that song on the radio?,"Why, he's right here. Patrick Star, Musical Genius."
"Fred: Let's get 'em, boys! Patrick: And that was my new song called, Ay... Fred: You know, It's not that bad. Jimmy: Yeah. At least it got that first terrible song out of our heads. Patrick: Oh, yeah. My song.  Oh, Twinkle, Twinkle, Patrick Star-- Gym Teacher: Patrick! Looks like you need another lesson! Dodgeballs ready! Patrick: Uh-oh.","Good night, Mr. Krabs."
Mr. Krabs: Closing time already?,I just served a Krabby Patty to the last customer.
"Mr. Krabs: Well, have a good night, SpongeBob.","Mr. Krabs, is it okay if I buy a Krabby Patty to go for my pet snail Gary?"
Mr. Krabs: I thought those things ate mostly kibble.,It's a special treat. Just to get him ready for tomorrow...
"Mr. Krabs: Oh! Right! Okay, that makes- Wait, what's tomorrow?","Mr. Krabs, did you forget?"
Mr. Krabs: Probably.,Tomorrow is Bring Your Pet To Work day!
Mr. Krabs: I don't need a special day for that. Squidward's here every day! Squidward:  Nice.  REAL NICE!,Umm... Can I buy that patty?
Mr. Krabs: Yeah. Sure.,Alright! Gary's gonna be so excited!
"Mr. Krabs: Oh, SpongeBob! I almost forgot. The price is double for pets because they're so special.","Good idea!  Thanks again, Mr. Krabs!  Mr. Krabs!"
"Mr. Krabs: What, what?!",We're all out of Krabby Patties!
Mr. Krabs: Did you check the freezer?!,"I checked the freezer, the spare freezer, the back-up freezer, the extra freezer, the rear freezer, the micro freezer, and the freezer under the stairs!"
Mr. Krabs: What about the freezer in the attic?,We don't have an attic.
Mr. Krabs: No attic?!,"You sold it, remember?"
"Mr. Krabs: Oh, yeah. Plankton: Now what are they saying, Karen? Karen?! Karen: I have no idea. Plankton: What? I thought you said you could read lips! Karen: I can, but you took my telescope away! Mr. Krabs:  Well, that settles it, SpongeBob. We're just gonna have to make a fresh batch of Krabby Patties.",A fresh batch?
"Mr. Krabs: That's what I said. A fresh batch of Krabby Patties. Plankton: Okay, now what's he saying? Karen: He said that they're going to make a fresh batch of Krabby Patties. Plankton: A fresh batch of—ooh, this is good. This is really good!","When are we making this fresh batch of Krabby Patties, Mr. Krabs?"
"Mr. Krabs: What? Plankton: Okay, what'd he just say? Karen: What? Plankton: I said, What'd he just say? Karen: He said, What? Plankton: I have no idea, that's why I'm asking you what he just said! Karen: I know that, and I'm saying he said, What?! Plankton: I know that! Wait... oh, he said, What?. Karen: Yes!","Wow, a whole new fresh batch of Krabby Patties! Gary's gonna go crazy!"
"Mr. Krabs: You know, SpongeBob, heh, might not be such a good idea bringing a dirty snail into the kitchen. I think we might just want to reschedule Bring Your Pet To Work day.","No! Mr. Krabs, I promise that Gary will be sparkly clean. I'll give him an extra long bath tonight!"
"Mr. Krabs: Oh, okay. Just make sure he's healthy and clean! Plankton: Healthy and Clean, Fresh Batch of Krabby Patties? Ooh, I think I smell a plan!",Gary! I brought you a delicious treat!
Gary: Meow.,"There you are, Gare-bear. I brought you some kelp fries.  I was going to bring you a Krabby Patty, but we ran out! I'll go get your bath ready, while you enjoy those.  Gary! Your bath is ready! Gary? Gary?  Gary?  Gary?!  Gary, not again. Come out of there, it's dirty!  Gotcha! Come on, Gary, quit messing arou...."
Gary: Meow.,"Great, Gary, just great. Now you're gonna need an extra, extra, extra, extra long bath! You're not gonna come down from there, are you?"
Gary: Meow.,"Ugh! You win, we'll bathe you in the morning."
"Plankton:  Good morning, sir! My name is Sheldon R. Shellcleaner, owner and operator of Super Shell Cleaner Vacations Unlimited. Can I ask you a question? Are you tired of your dirty shell resulting in tireless hours of...",Gary! I'm going to start the bath!
"Plankton: Look, I'll just cut to the chase. Do you have a dirty shell and hate bath time? Gary: Meow. Plankton: Of course you do! That's why I must tell you about our limited time offer. For not 4, not 3, but 1 luxurious night here! At Club Shell! A perfect resort for snails. Don't try to pinch yourself, this could be...",Gary! The bath is ready!
"Plankton: ...all yours! Now I know what you're thinking, but I got you covered!  A temporary shell will be provided for you to wear while yours is being cleaned, and all of this is free of charge, of course.",Gary! Your bath is ready!
"Plankton: Have a pleasant stay! Bon voyage!  If my reasoning is correct, as SpongeBob's pet, I'll get to witness Krabby Patties being made from scratch! Then I can copy the formula and destroy Krabs once and for all!","Ah-ha, there you are, Gare-Bear!  Oh, you naughty little snail hiding from me! I'm gonna give you a real good scrubbing. You have to be sparkly clean for Bring your pet to work day! And today is the day!  First, I'm gonna start you off with a yummy smelling shower gel!"
Plankton: Wha...?,"Oh, smells nice, doesn't it?"
Plankton: Ugh...,Prepare yourself for the scrubbing of a lifetime!
Plankton:,"Bet that feels good, huh?"
Plankton:  Curses! I mean... meow?,"Gary, are you sure you're feeling alright?"
"Plankton: I've never felt better! Uh, I mean... meow!",Gary! You're turning green! And talking!
"Plankton: No, I'm not.",We gotta get you to the pet hospital!
"Plankton: Pet hospital?! But what about the fresh batch of Krabby Patties?! I mean, meow!","You're right! I'll call Mr. Krabs and tell him I'm gonna be late. Gary, you're a lot more talkative when you're sick.  Excuse me, nurse. My snail has been talking and turning green. Is he sick?"
Plankton:  Meow?,Is that yes? Or no?
Sadie: I have never seen such a drastic case! Rush this snail to the intensive care unit stat! Plankton: Intensive care unit?,"Don't worry, Gary. These are professionals."
"Plankton:  Karen! Oh, sorry. I thought you were someone else. Sadie:  Don't worry. We're just going to subject you to a series of invasive tests. It'll be over before you know it. Jennifer-Millie: Sir, all the doctor is saying is that your snail is still in the intensive care unit, and we just need to run a couple more tests. Purple Doctorfish:  That's not what I'm saying at all.","Oh, Gary!"
"Purple Doctorfish:  Yes, I'll be honest with you, son, we've tried everything we can. We just can't find out anything wrong with him. I've never seen anything like it.","Please try to save him, doctor!"
"Plankton:  No! No more! Please! I-I-I-I... Sadie: Relax, Gary, the tests are over. I'm just here to give you a little pill. Plankton: Whew! That's a relief. Sadie:  Now, open wide. Sadie: That wasn't so bad, was it?  That's not good.  Uh, Mr. SquarePants?",Gary!
Sadie: The doctor says there's nothing more we can do. It's best to take him home and let nature take its course.,"You're- you're saying that he's... that he might... oh.  Nurse? Nurse?! Oh, well, Gary, this looks like it might be...... the end."
Plankton: If I could just have a...  Krabby Patty before I go...,"Sure thing, little buddy, sure.  Y'know, it's... it's really poignant."
Plankton: What is?,"Well, now that you can talk, we're... we're running out of time to say I love you!"
"Plankton:  Oh, boy... Tourist: So, once again, we'd like to thank you for choosing Club Shell, and we hope to see you again real soon.","Just a little further, Gare-Bare."
Gary: Plankton: Yes!,"Buddy, you just stay right here, and Daddy's gonna go get the secret formula and whip you up the best batch that we ever whipped up. Be right back, Gare-Bear."
"Plankton: Yes, SpongeFool, come right back with your complete undoing and victory will be mine! Plankton: Mommy? Hey, wait! Mr. Krabs: Plankton? Plankton: Good day, sir. I'm just here to sample some of your delicious Krabby fare.  Whoa, there, fido!  I'm going! I'm going already!","Wow, Gary's doing a great job as bouncer, huh, Mr. Krabs? Really earning his pay."
"Mr. Krabs: Well, he takes after you, boy.  Pay?! Kid #1: It's too high. I can't! Kid #2: Cannonball! Kid #1: Ohh! Water wing girl's mother: Now you've got water wings. Try them.  Hmm? Huh? Water wing girl: Ahh-ahh-ahh!",Marco!
Swimmer: Ehh.,Marco?
"Joshua:  No, I'm Joshua.","Okay, bye.  Marco."
Patrick:  Polo.,Marco!
"Nurse:  Shady Shoals residents, out of the pool! Old Man #1: I pooped. Clarabelle: Come along, Mortimer. Patrick: Huh?  Oh. Huh? I'm covered in wrinkles. Clarabelle: Oh, we all are, dear. I call them oldie foldies.  Hurry, Mortimer. Shady Shoals is serving prune ice cream today. Patrick: Dah! Ice cream, oh, oh!  Wait for me!",Marco! Marco!  Marco?
"Marco:  Yeah, I'm-a Marco! What do you want?","Oh, I don't want you. I want Patrick."
Marco: Then stop a-yellin' my name!,Ugh.  Marco.
"Larry:  Attention, everyone. We found a lost elderly gentleman who goes by the name of Mortimer. Can anyone claim him? Patrick: Come on, let's move it! I want prune ice cream. Senior Citizens:  Ohh. Clarabelle: Mortimer, ice cream time. Patrick:  Ahh!  Brain freeze! Nurse: Clear!  Clear! Patrick: Oh.  Ah.  Brain food. Clarabelle: Eh? Mary: Ehh? Patrick:  Eh.  Oh. Old lady #1: Gotcha!",Marco! Marco!
Marco: You! What I tell youse about-a yellin' my name?,"Ahh! I-I don't remember. Um, sometimes it helps me to remember if I go into a trance.  I'm seeing a small farmhouse painted white. Does that have any significance to you?"
Marco: My parents had a white farmhouse.,What's this? A baby has been born. A boy. There is much happiness.
Marco: That's-a me. I was-a born there.,They are about to name the boy...
Marco: Marco. They named him Marco. It's Marco. Marco!,Polo.
"Marco: Ahh!  If I catch anyone a-yellin' my name again, I'm-a gonna hurt them.",Whoo-hoo!  Marco.
Patrick: Polo.,Ah-ha-ha! Found you! Now it's your turn to call Marco.
"Patrick:  Do I know you, young man?","Patrick, it's me. Remember? ♪Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?♪"
Patrick: I don't know. A wizard?,♪Absorbent and yellow and porous is he♪  Ehh.
Patrick: SpongeBob SquarePants!,"The one and only. Okay, now it's your turn to call Marco Polo."
"Patrick: Whoa-oh, I can't do that. I'm all wrinkled now. I do old stuff.",Old stuff? Like what?
"Patrick:  Check it out.  This is called doddering.  Oh, here's another thing I do now. It's called gumming.  Neat, huh?  Now, uh, this part's really fun. It's called complaining.  These kids today, they don't know diddly squat!","Wow, Patrick, those are all great things, but wouldn't you rather go jellyfishing?"
"Patrick:  Ohh! No, that hurts.",We could build sandcastles.
Patrick:  It's not structurally sound.,"Well, how 'bout blowing bubbles?  Nothing bad about a bubble."
"Patrick:  Ooh.  Are you trying to kill me, son?","No, I just think we should act our age.  Remember when we used to look forward to rainy days and building cushion forts?"
"Patrick: These days, I only look forward to my final exit. Clarabelle: Oh, he was too young. Patrick:  No, I wasn't! Senior Citizens: No, he wasn't.  We are not young.","Come on, people. Just 'cause you're old doesn't mean you're rotting fish. You're still vital, full of life. Fresh."
"Old Man #2: Fresh, you say? Ahh.","Okay, you young-at-hearters, today you are gonna climb that tree. Yes, yes, that's right! Put those flabby arms to use! Laugh at your lumbago! Cackle at your cataracts!"
Old Man #3: Is it nap time yet?,Nope! It's time for the dance party! Everybody on board. Are you ready to get down?
Patrick and the senior citizens: Yeah.,"No, not like that. Like this!"
Patrick: Now-now-now-now you're talking.,"Now, let's kick it up a hundred notches!  Yeah!"
"Patrick: Oh, what's happening?","Oh, clear! Isn't it great to get outdoors with the fresh air and sunshine?"
Old Lady #2: Stop this rug! Bunny Buns! Bunny Buns! Patrick and the senior citizens: Bunny Buns! Bunny Buns!,"Bunny Buns? That's a good idea! Nothing makes people feel young like arcade games, grease, and sugar."
Patrick: You're coming in too fast on the bridge and you're blowing clams!  Now that's what I call jazz!,"Ha, ha. So sorry. Let me just take this. I can help you with that.  Eww."
Old Man #1: Hey!,"Old people, behave!"
Old Man #1:  Whoa!  23 skidoo!,Oh.
Patrick:  SpongeBob!  I'm drowning!,"I'm coming, Patrick!"
"Patrick: Thanks, old-timer.","Oh, you're welcome. What, who are you calling old-timer?  Whoa. Where have the years gone?  I'm losing steam."
"Patrick: Wait, hey, man. Don't make a scene in front of all my old friends.  Oh.  Ohh. Now I can't dodder. Patrick: Here you go, old friend.  Huh?",Gotcha!
"Patrick: You got me again. Clarabelle: Marco. Old Man #3: Polo. Clarabelle: Marco! Marco:  Oh, that's it! I said I was-a gonna clobber the next-a person what-a calls my name! Clarabelle: No one clobbers Clarabelle!  Oh, Marco? Marco:  Polo. Patrick: Giddy-up! Hyah!","Weren't you going to put your vacation slides in the projector, Patrick?"
"Patrick: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.","Patrick, those are hash browns."
Patrick: Hash browns!,"Um, Patrick, the slides."
"Patrick: Right. The slides.  Voila! Uh, now what?",Now you put the slides in the projector.
"Patrick:  I knew that. Put the slides in the projec--  ...tor. Don't worry, SpongeBob. I've got something even better.  Okay, here we go.  There I was...","Ooh, a shadow puppet show!"
"Patrick: Please, no interruptions.",Sorry.
"Patrick: As I was saying...  I was lying around my house, not even planning to have a vacation when I heard a knock at my door.  For clammin' out loud! Aww, sheesh! I'm still not there yet?","Patrick! Patrick, what have you done to yourself?"
"Patrick:  I've been waking up, eating, sleeping, waking up, eating, sleeping, waking up, eating, sleeping for my whole life without a rest! I need a break from the hustle and bustle of my everyday life.  It's so exhausting.  Help me, SpongeBob. Please, help me.","Pal, what you need is a vacation."
"Patrick: That's it! I need a vacation! Travel Agent: So, you'd like a vacation. Patrick:  Oh, great. Another thing for me to d--","Yes, he'd like a vacation."
"Travel Agent: Well, your options are endless, Mr. Star. Anywhere from beautiful white sandy beaches to exhilarating jungle safaris. It all depends on your budget. SpongeBob & Patrick: Ugh! Patrick: I guess I'll just have to stay home.",Stay home? That's it! You can take a stay-cation.
Patrick: Wh-what's that?,"Take a vacation at home. No packing, no travel, just do whatever you want to do. Best of all, it's free."
"Patrick: Oh, boy!","All right, Patrick. Enjoy your stay-cation."
"Patrick: That's what I'm gonna do, buddy.","Welcome to Star Rock Inn, sir. My name is Todd. Can I check you in?"
Patrick: I don't know. Can you?,"Ah, yes. Star, Star, Star.  Patrick Star, room 801.  Your key, sir. And please don't hesitate to let us know if there is anything we can do to make your stay more comfortable.  May I take your bags, Mr. Star?"
Patrick: I don't have any ba--  Oh...,"Follow me, sir. Your room is right this way.  Your room, sir."
"Patrick: Oh, dear.","Something wrong, Mr. Star?"
"Patrick: Well, um, honestly, I'm not sure I like the way this room is arranged.",Arranged?
Narrator: One Hour Later.,"Mr. Star, are you sure about this?"
"Patrick: No, I--uh, maybe it's the walls.  I got it. Let's put the room back the way it was originally!",The pool is one of Star Rock Inn's most relaxing features.
Patrick: Ah a pool!  Where's the diving board?,"The diving board? Ooh, one diving board, coming up.  Your diving board, sir."
Patrick: All right!,"You okay, sir?"
"Patrick:  My head is swimming just fine, thank you.","Oh, no!  Lifeguard on duty!  You okay, sir?"
Patrick:  So cold.,This calls for CPR—candy peppermint resuscitation.
Patrick: So weak.  Strength... returning.  But I'm still hungry.,"Follow me, sir.  If you would take your seat, sir.  Your dining bib, sir."
Patrick: Wow. What luxury.,One Krabby Patty coming up.
"Mr. Krabs:  What, no tip? Patrick: Hey, what kind of resort is this? Where's the entertainment?","Oh, uh, you are absolutely right, sir.  Presenting the SpongeBob Follies!  What the hey."
"Patrick: Boring.  Lame. Man: Three, two, one, liftoff.","Well, what do you think?"
Patrick: You are smokin'!,"Aw, it was nothing."
"Patrick: No, no, you're really smoking!","What?  Oh, no, the Krabby Patty!"
"Patrick: My tummy is still lonely.  Ahh. Squidward:  Ah.  Ah, delish.  Oh, silly me. I forgot the napkin.  And now an elegant meal for an elegant person. Patrick: I am quite refined.  Ah! Squidward: What are you doing here? Patrick: I'm on vacation! The last resort I was staying at was a dump, but this place is awesome. Oh, hey, waiter...  a napkin, please.","Mr. Star, your meal is ready.  Patrick, where is he?  Ah!"
"Squidward: Patrick, you dimwitted moron, get out of my kitchen! Patrick: Good idea. I think I'll head over to the spa.  I could use a massage. Squidward: Get this into your tiny, tiny, little, tiny brain—this is not a resort. It's my house. There is no spa. And you can't get a massage! Patrick:  Oh, yeah, that's the spot.  Hey, you should get a massage, too. Squidward:  Not likely.  Ow ow ow ow! What the hey?!  Move over. I want a deep tissue treatment and don't forget the feet. Narrator: 5 Hours Later.","So tired.  Patrick, what are you doing here?"
"Patrick: That resort next door is too crowded. Then I found this place. It's quiet and peaceful. Good night, SpongeBob. Mr. Krabs: Wake up, laddy.","Hmm? Oh, hi, Mr. Krabs."
Mr. Krabs: You have another nasty old dream?,Mm-mmm.
Mr. Krabs: Patrick in your bed again?,Mm-hmm.
"Mr. Krabs: Aye. Well, good night, laddy.","Good night, sir."
"Voice: SB-129. Narrator: Ahh, it is Sunday morning in Bikini Bottom, and it is about time for Squidward to practice his clarinet. So get your ear plugs ready. Squidward:  I think I'll treat Bikini Bottom to some real music.  Yow!","Good morning, Squidward! Wanna go jellyfishing?  Great! We'll be right over!"
Squidward: I wonder who that could be.,Ready to go?
"Squidward: No, I'm not ready to go! Patrick: He doesn't wanna play with us.","No, Patrick, he's just not ready.  Ready now?"
Squidward: No!,How about now?
Squidward: No!  Huh?,Now?
Squidward: No!,Now?
Squidward: No!,How about now?
Squidward: No!,Now?
Squidward: No!,Now?
Squidward: No!,Now?
Squidward: No!,Now?
Squidward: No!  No!  What?!,Ready yet?
"Squidward: No, I'm not ready! I'll never be ready! Don't you get it?!",Sure we do.
Squidward: What?  D'oh...!,Ready?
"Squidward: OUT! Sheesh! Shouldn't you be at work today, SpongeBob?!",I'd love to be at work today! But it's Sunday; the Krusty Krab is closed.
"Squidward: Hold on a second. I'll be right out.  Hello...?  Ahh, alone at last. SpongeBob and Patrick: Squidward! Squidward?  Squidward!  Squidward? Oh, Squidward!  Squidward!","Well, he's not here. I'll bet that eager-beaver's already down at Jellyfish Fields!"
"Squidward: A-ha! They're finally gone!  What the...?  Locked?! Oh no! Oh... well, someone will realize I'm gone and come looking for me. I'll be out of here in no time. Narrator: 2,000 years later... Sponge-Tron: Holy Krabby Patties! A frozen cephalopod! Squidward:  I'll be out of here in no time. Sponge-Tron: Greetings, primitive. Squidward: Sp...SpongeBob? Is that you? Sponge-Tron: SpongeBob? No!  I am Sponge-Tron.  Welcome to the future! Squidward: What? Sponge-Tron: Welcome to the future! Squidward: Uh, the future...  Huh?! O-okay, uh, what's going on here? Why is everything... chrome? Sponge-Tron: Everything is chrome in the future! Squidward: Wha...?  Oh, my...  Impossible! He's lying!  He's right! SpongeTron: Of course I'm right, Squidward! Just ask my clones: Sponge-Trons X, Y, and Z. Squidward: Are the other letters of the alphabet involved here? Sponge-Tron: Sure! All 486 of them! Squidward:  Future! Future! Future! Future!  Thanks. Now listen! All of you! I don't belong here. This is all a horrible mistake! Please, we've got to do something! Sponge-Trons X, Y, and Z:  Jellyfishing! Pat-Tron: Did somebody say, jellyfishing? Sponge-Tron: Hi, Pat-Tron! Squidward: J-just listen to me! I'm not supposed to be here! I've gotta get home to my own time period! I've gotta go! Sponge-Tron: Well, why didn't you just ask? The time machine is down the hall, to the left.  Oops! Oh, yeah, that one's the can opener... but try the one on the right. Squidward: Well, I wouldn't've chosen this interior...  Oh, what's this? Well, if SpongeBob exists in the future, I'd better go to the past! Squidward:  Wow, primitive. Has sort of an old-world charm.  Whoa! I guess this is before manners were invented! Well, at least there's no sign of SpongeBrat. Maybe now I can finally be alone with my clarinet.  Huh?  Huh? What?!  Huh!?  SpongeBob?  Stay back!  Uh, no thanks.  Uh, hi there. Well, I better be going now.  Yes, that's my arm.  Oh, that's sweet.  What, is it time for your flea bath now?  Oh, look, it's just a little jellyfish.  Well, I'm going away now.  Ah, here's a nice, shady spot, away from those fools! Squidward: What are you simpletons doing?! You're supposed to catch these things, not torture yourself with them!  Give me those loincloths!  I can't believe it.  This oughta make things go a little smoother!  Give me those things! You're supposed to catch them, like this!  It's called jellyfishing.  Ah, finally.  Get me outta here!  Uh-oh. Time Machine: Loser! Squidward: He's not here. No more SpongeBob. No more! I may finally have found a place where I can be all...  ...alone! Voices: Alone! Alone! Alone! Alone! Alone! Alone! Alone! Alone! Alone! Alone! Alone! Alone! Alone! Alone! Alone! Squidward: I gotta get outta of here!  Where's the time machine?! Where's anything?! Where, where, where, where?!  I wanna go home! I wanna go home! I wanna go home! I wanna go home! I miss Bikini Bottom! I miss my Easter Island head! I even miss SpongeBob!  SpongeBob! Patrick! SpongeBob and Patrick: Hi, Squidward. Squidward: Oh, I'm back! I can't believe this. I-I-I was in space, a-and I went to the future, and-and then I went to the past, and-and then-then I was nowhere, but now I'm back, and-and... you don't know how happy I am to see you guys.",Does this mean you wanna go...
"SpongeBob and Patrick: Jellyfishing? Squidward: No! D'oh! Who's the barnacle head who invented that game anyway? SpongeBob and Patrick: You are, Squidward! Squidward: I'm going back. SpongeBob and Patrick: It's here!","Behold, Patrick! The official Goofy Goober Backscratcher! And it only cost me 52 box tops."
Patrick: Wow.,"Ooh. Mm-hmm. Oh... Oh! Whoo! Oh, yeah, that's it!"
Patrick: Let me try!,"Uh, Patrick, that's not the backscratcher. That's my arm."
"Patrick: Oh, sorry.","You know, we shouldn't keep this all to ourselves. We should let Squidward try it out."
Patrick: Yeah!,Onward... to Squidward's house.
Squidward:  Go away!,"To Sandy's house.  Hey, Sandy, you gotta see this!  Sandy? What's going on here?! Sandy, are you okay?  What's wrong, Sandy?"
Sandy: They're coming. They're coming. The chimps are coming.,Who?
"Sandy: My bosses. They're coming for an inspection. I've worked day and night for a week, but none of my inventions are any good. If I don't have a real impressive invention by this afternoon, they'll cut my funding, and I'll have to leave Bikini Bottom.","Oh, come on, Sandy. I'll bet you invented lots of useful things. This helmet looks impressive.  What's it do?"
Sandy: It lets you talk to nuts. What use is that?,"SpongeBob to Peanut. Come in, Peanut."
Patrick: What's it saying?,"It says... It's dark in here. Got anything else, Sandy?"
"Sandy: There's my nuttaccino machine. It makes a nice, hot frothy cup of any nut you choose.  And lastly, my fully automated nutcracker.  Oh, I can't even make a simple nutcracker!","So it's got a few bugs. Patrick and I'll help you fix it. Right, Patrick? Patrick?  Everything'll be fine."
"Sandy: Oh, it's no use, SpongeBob! I just have to face facts. I'm leaving Bikini Bottom because... I'm a failure.","We can't let Sandy leave, Patrick!"
Patrick: What'll we do?,"They're looking for an invention, right?"
Patrick: Right.,So let's start inventing!
Patrick: Yeah!,"It's time to get serious, Patrick."
Patrick: Right!  I made an invention. It's a stick you can draw or write stuff with.,"That's a pencil, Patrick. It's already been invented."
"Patrick: Ooh, ooh, this is a good one! It's a glass ball that lights up so you can see in the dark.","Light bulb, already invented."
"Patrick: SpongeBob, I know this one will work. I've invented a parallel universe.","That's a mirror, Patrick. It's already been invented."
"Patrick: Somebody keeps stealing my ideas! SpongeBob's Reflection:  Well, I thought it was a pretty good idea.",Ooh... I give up. I'll never invent anything.
"Sandy: ♪So long, Bikini Bottom, I can't leave without a good-bye. But please don't think bad of me, if'n I start to cry. So long, Bikini Bottom, there's so many things I'll miss, from your smoggy, crowded city, to your stingin' jellyfish. This town is filled with many things, that I've come to love. From the birds that fly upon the ground, to the flowers up above. Farewell, Bikini Bottom, now I really hate to go. 'Cause the things I'll miss the most of all, are the friends I've come to know.♪","I'm ashamed of myself, Patrick. I gave up too quickly. We'll build Sandy's bosses an invention so amazing, they'll give Sandy funding forever!  We've done it, Patrick! We've created the greatest invention the world has ever seen! Patrick, they're here."
Patrick: Who?,Sandy's bosses.  The reason we spent all afternoon inventing!
"Patrick: I have no idea what you're talking about. Chimp #1: Good day, gentlemen. Allow me to introduce ourselves. I am Professor Percy. This is Dr. Marmalade. Dr. Marmalade: At your service. Professor Percy: And this is Lord Reginald. Lord Reginald: Charmed. Patrick: You guys talk funny. Say more words! Professor Percy: We are the board of directors of Tree Dome Enterprises Limited, and we are here to ascertain if Miss Cheek's inventions are up to snuff.","Why, everyone in town has benefited from Sandy's scientific knowledge! Before Sandy showed up, I used to be a scrawny weakling!"
Patrick: And I used to be dumb. Professor Percy: Quite. And whom do I have the pleasure of addressing?,My name is SpongeBob.
Patrick: And I am Professor Patrick.,Professor?
Patrick: Doctor Professor Patrick. Don't mind him. You know how interns are. Professor Percy: Where is Miss Cheeks?,She should be back any moment.
Patrick: I thought she ran away because she couldn't invent anything.,Patrick!
Patrick: That's Mr. Doctor Professor Patrick to you!,"Don't you think it's time to show them Sandy's invention, Mr. Doctor Professor Patrick?"
Patrick: Good idea.,Well?
"Patrick: Hey, you're the unpaid intern. You do the work.","Gentlemen, I can say without exaggeration that this is the most important invention in the history of the universe! I give you...  The Automatic Backscratcher, Hair Comber, Nose Picker, and Ukulele Tuner 9000!"
Professor Percy: This is where our research money went?,Uh-huh. Isn't it great?!
"Lord Reginald: An automatic back scratcher, hair comber, nose picker, ukulele tuner. Yes, well, I've heard that claim before. Professor Percy: Yes, how do we know this contraption works? Dr. Marmalade: Let's see a demonstration. Patrick: Step right up.  You look like you've been neglecting your personal hygiene. Lord Reginald: Me?  Are you sure this is safe? Patrick: As sure as I'm a doctor professor.","Patrick, don't you think we should test it?"
Patrick: Okay.,That's not exactly what I had in mind!
"Professor Percy: Lord Reginald, are you all right? Lord Reginald: Oh I say, this is splendid.  Oh, absolutely splendid. What's this?  Oh marvelous. This machine has evacuated my nostrils of unwanted residue in a manner most pleasant.","Good work, Mr. Doctor Professor Patrick."
"Patrick: Thank you, lowly assistant. Lord Reginald: Oh I say, now it's feeding me delicious pudding!",Pudding? I don't remember that part of the invention.
"Lord Reginald: Now it's tuning my ukulele!  Ouch! I say, was that necessary?  You sir, are impertinent.  Oh, dear. Dr. Marmalade: Lord Reginald, are you all right?  Um sorry, was that a yes? Professor Percy: Mr. Doctor Professor Patrick, what is the meaning of this? Patrick: It's okay. The horrible screaming means that it's working!",Oh I really wish Sandy were here.
"Bus Driver: All aboard! Sandy: Will this bus take you somewhere when you've got nowhere else to go? Bus Driver: It sure does. We make stops in Quittersville, Failuretown, and Loserburg. Sandy: What in tarnation?!  What's with all the monkey business?! (Patrick laughs)",Sandy!
"Sandy: SpongeBob! What the heck is going on here?! Lord Reginald: Ouch. Patrick: It works! It works! Professor Percy: Lord Reginald, are you all right? Lord Reginald: I seem to have ruptured my pomposity. Professor Percy: We shall commence closure of this establishment immediately. Dr. Marmalade: Frankly, I'm beginning to question the economic benefits of underwater treedomes. Doesn't make much sense once you get right down to it.","I'm sorry, Sandy. We were trying to keep you in Bikini Bottom, but all we did was ruin your chances to stay."
"Sandy: I was about to be fired anyway. Thanks for trying to help, SpongeBob. You, too, Patrick. Patrick: That's Mr. Doctor Professor Patrick. Sandy:  Don't push it. Patrick:  Sorry. Professor Percy: We are departing, Dr. Marmalade. Dr. Marmalade: My word, all of this excitement has drastically reduced my potassium levels.  Good gracious! Can it be? Professor Percy: Try it again. Lord Reginald: Oh! It is! It is! It's the banana peeler we have been searching 117 years for!","Wow Sandy, they're going bananas for your nutcracker!"
"Sandy: Yeah. Professor Percy: Well, Miss Cheeks, I must say you have exceeded expectations. Lord Reginald: It may be the extreme head trauma I've suffered, but I am going to offer you a 20-year contract with a substantial pay raise. Sandy: I accept. SpongeBob and Patrick: Hooray! Professor Percy: I expect great things out of you, Miss Cheeks. Great things. Lord Reginald: Perhaps you could put your talents toward that automatic poop-throwing machine that's eluded us for so long. Dr. Marmalade: Now, now, one miracle at a time. All Chimps: Goodbye! Sandy: Well, the only thing left is to figure out what to do with this infernal contraption. Patrick: My turn.  Whoo-hoo!  All right! Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob? SpongeBob!  Wake up, boy! You're burning me money!","Mr. Krabs, what do we do?"
"Mr. Krabs: Here, use this! Mr. Krabs and Fireman: Hooray! Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, come into me office.  What's wrong, boy?","Well, I."
Mr. Krabs: This is the fourth time this week I've had to scrape you off of something.,"Well, I've been thinking."
Mr. Krabs: We need to get you thinking about work.,"No offense, Mr. Krabs, but I've been thinking about giving up my cold industrial life in favor of a more natural and free life among the jellyfish."
"Mr. Krabs: Ah, SpongeBob, you wouldn't last even one day in the wild. This is your natural habitat.  This is your wide open range.  These are your amber waves.  And thisoh, this is your golden scepter, with which you rule! That's better than nasty old jellyfish, right, SpongeBob?  SpongeBob?","I can too last more than one day. I'll show him. Aw, barnacles!"
"Mr. Krabs:  SpongeBob, wait!  Oh, he'll be back, alright. He'll be back.","And Squidward, I want you to have my can opener."
Squidward: And I thought this friendship would never pay off. Patrick:  Are-are-are-are you sure you want to give me this mayonnaise?,It's all yours.
Patrick: A-a-and these old phone books?,"All yours, old friend.  Patrick, there is one more thing I want you to have."
"Patrick: Ol' Reliable? Sandy: Howdy, y'all. Hey, SpongeBob, you having a garage sale?","No, Sandy, I'm giving up my material possessions to live in the wild with the jellyfish."
"Sandy: SpongeBob, of all the crazy schemes. Why would you want to live among the jellyfish? They're cold and mean and none too bright.","Oh, oh, Sandy. That's exactly the response I would expect from someone who lives the sham of a life I once lived. I'm gonna prove I don't need all this stuff to be happy.  Maybe someday you'll wise up and join me. Goodbye.  I won't be needing these.  Buzz, buzz, buzz."
Squidward: He took off his pants. Sandy: I'll give him a week. Squidward: I'll give him eleven minutes. Patrick: Patrick sad!,"I'm home. I'm home! I'm home! I'm home, I'm home, I'm home, I'm home, I'm home, I'm home, I'm home, I'm home, I'm home!  Brothers and sisters, wait for me!  Buzz buzz. Buzz buzz. Okay, I'm here!  Wait, I just got here. My jellyfish instincts tell me to go...  ...that way.  Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz.  This is the life.  Hey, everybody, buzz buzz. Buzz to you. Buzz, buzz, nice current today. Hey, what's the buzz?  Hello, I'm JellyBob, and you are?  Uhh... nice to meet you."
"Sandy: Here, Patrick, have a Krabby Patty!  There he is, Patrick. Say your line! Patrick:  Why, thank you, Sandy, I would love one.   Too bad SpongeBob isn't here. These are his favorites. I sure wish he'd come home.   I can't do it! SpongeBob! Come back!","Patrick, I'm not coming home."
Patrick: I miss you!  Sandy misses you! Even Squidward misses you!,I'm happy here. This is my home now.
Patrick: No! SpongeBob!,"Hey, everybody! I'm back! I think I'm getting the hang of this.  Patrick! What are you doing?"
"Patrick: If I can't have you as a friend, I'm gonna make you a trophy!  I even picked out this nice jar for you!",Patrick! Go home! I'm a jellyfish now!
"Patrick: I can see you there!  I still see you!  You're gonna look good on my mantel! Friends forever, SpongeBob!  I got you now, SpongeBob!",Patrick! No!
Patrick: Okay! So this is the way it's gonna be. I hope you're happy!,"Well, that's over. Back to jellyfish matters.  Mmm, jelly.  Ah, my jellyfish brethren are returning.  Greetings, comrades!  Being a jellyfish sure is fun. Buzz.  Buzz.  Buzz.  Hey! Eww, I'm itchy! Itchy, why am I so itchy!  Ah! Poison sea urchins!  Ow, ow, oh, itches. Ow, ow, itches.  Buzz. Buzz. Buzz.  Krabby Patties.  Sandy.  What have I done? I had a great life and friends, and I gave all of that up."
"All: Welcome home, SpongeBob!",You guys are the best! I made a huge mistake. Please forgive me!
"Mr. Krabs: Ah, quit your blubbering and have a Krabby Patty.",Don't mind if I do.
Mr. Krabs: And I'll see you at work first thing tomorrow morning.,"Aye, aye, captain!"
"Squidward: SpongeBob, do us all a favor.",Don't mind if I do.  Ta-da.  Aww.
"Squidward: Okay, that's enough. Gary: Meow. Squidward: Can we please stop this? Patrick: Patrick itchy!",It is great to be home!
"Patchy: Ahoy, mateys! Today I'll be spinning a tale you won't soon forget.  It's called SpongeBob SquarePants Vs. The Patty Gadget. Now, SpongeBob was workin', his eye on the grill, 'til he heard a sharp sound that gave him a chill.",What's going on? What could it mean?
"Patchy: Wow, it's a deep-fry patty cookin' machine!  And hiding behind it, who do we see? None other than Squidward and his bad face acne. Squidward: Hey! Mr. Krabs: What's is this contraption you've hauled into me place? Squidward: A miracle, a marvel! It'll cook Krabby Patties at a fabulous pace! Mr. Krabs: But how are the patties? I mean, how do they taste? Squidward: I'll let you try one. Shove this in your face. Mr. Krabs:  I have to admit, that patty was yummy, though it sits like a rock when it lands in me tummy. But I've got me a fry cook, and he's always on time. Squidward: Ah, but this gizmo is faster, and you won't pay it a dime. Mr. Krabs: Your machine sounds delightful. But how much does it cost? Squidward: Hmm, just fire SpongeBob and tell him, Get lost! Patchy: The machine wanted his job to make SpongeBob quit. But SpongeBob didn't like it. No, not one bit. Pushing his grill, SpongeBob burst through the door.",I challenge your gadget! I declare patty war!
"Patchy: With three little words, Krabs started the show. Flag raised in the air, he cried... Mr. Krabs: Ready, set, go! Patchy: Quick as a flash, Squidward pulled the big lever, and sat back and watched feeling oh so quite clever. SpongeBob, with spatula held tight in his fist, flung twenty patties, not a single one missed.  The crowd was impressed. Sandy: Wow! Patchy: They cheered full of glee! All except Patrick, who had to go pee. Patchy: A noise and a clatter came from the machine, and out popped the patties in a burst of hot steam. The gadget was fast, its first batch completed, but SpongeBob yelled out...",I won't be defeated!
"Patchy: He took in some air. SpongeBob swelled his physique. Then dozens of patties filled up his cheeks.  He strained and he sweated. He summoned his will, and shot Krabby Patties right onto the grill! Squidward: Not bad! Patchy: Yelled out Squidward. Squidward: A really good try. But let's see how you do against my machine set on high! Narrator: The gizmo, it shuddered, it clattered, it shook! And as Squidward laughed: Squidward: Ha-ha! Patchy: Sandy said... Sandy: What a schnook! Patchy: But SpongeBob cried out...",I won't lose to that thing!
"Patchy: Then he raised up two spatulas and leapt like a spring. His hands were a blur, the patties went flying. He fried up a hundred without even trying. Squidward was worried, SpongeBob couldn't be beat! Squidward: I got one last chance, I'll turn up the heat! Patchy: He struggled and strained 'til his face turned dark blue. Then the lever moved forward and broke right in two! The gadget buckled and sparked, it cracked like a gun. So Squidward took off, yelling... Squidward:  Let me know if I've won! Patchy: Lightning flew from its maw, it looked ready to burst. But SpongeBob, still standing, yelled...","Foul beast, do your worst!"
"Patchy: The patties came flying, by twos and by threes, by dozens, by hundreds, oh, it was something to see! Aye, that machine, it was fast, but SpongeBob was faster. He proved to that thing that he was its master!  The gadget blew into bits and died with a boom. The blast was so loud, it woke King Neptune! King Neptune:  What was that? Patchy: It was all over, finished and done. With his head held up high, SpongeBob knew he had won. The crowd yelled, Hooray, Squidward's name is now mud! But as they were cheering, SpongeBob fell with a thud.  The service was short, tears shed with regret. Squidward, it seemed, was the one most upset.",Whoo! Yeah!
"Patchy: What's that? You thought SpongeBob was buried down there? They just buried the gadget! Ha-ha! This I swear!  Well, that ends me tale, straight from the book. Now I gotta go and polish me hook! Customers: Just go! Oh, no. Bubble Bass: Yes, I will have a quad patty, with a sprinkling of Himalayan salt, smoked paprika, and micro greens. Squidward: Gimme a quad— Bubble Bass: Hold on. I'm not finished with my order. Customers: Aw, come on! Bubble Bass: I would like my patties be-cheesed, but not just any cheese will do. Have you any aged gouda?  And yes, it is pronounced how-uda, not goo-da. Mr. Krabs:  Just eat the regular Krabby Patty  and stop wasting everybody's time!","Mr. Krabs! You know we don't treat our customers like that.  It says right here, in the Krusty Krab manual.  The customer is always right, when they have money."
"Mr. Krabs: Oh! Such wise and beautiful words. Thanks for reminding me, SpongeBob.","I'm here to serve, Mr. Krabs."
"Mr. Krabs:  Ketchup waster!  Oh! Sorry, SpongeBob. I didn't mean it. No more outbursts. I'll be nice Mr. Krabs, I promise. Squidward: Your napkin. Mr. Krabs:  Waster!",Hmm?  Ow! Mr. Krabs!  You gotta calm down!
"Mr. Krabs: Oh!  I'll murder-lize him! Larry: Relax, little crab guy. Mr. Krabs:  Get your muscled mitts off me! Get off! Get... Larry: That's right. Give in to the healing power of my pecs.",I feel so secure.
Larry:  All better? Squidward: What? You let him go? We're all dead!  Ow! The grill's still on! Mr. Krabs: I don't know what's wrong with me. The Krusty Krab's just been so busy. I never seem to get a break. Larry: Sounds like someone needs a vacation. Mr. Krabs: I—I could use some me time.,And don't worry. Squidward and I can take care of the Krusty Krab while you're gone.
Mr. Krabs: Hmm...,Order up!
"Mr. Krabs:  I'm sorry, but I can't leave you guys in charge. I need a strong man to run this place—someone who's a rock and can really handle the load, you know? But who has that kind of strength, hmm?","Psst, psst!"
"Mr. Krabs: That's it! Larry, how would you like to manage the Krusty Krab while I'm on vacation? Larry: Larry's got his own gym to run.","Come on, Larry. It'll be fun."
Larry: Larry loves fun! I'm in. Mr. Krabs: All right! Ah!,"Oh, hey, Larry. How you liking your new job?"
Larry: Larry likes it just fine. But do the customers always eat like this?,"Oh, no. They normally eat like this!"
"Larry: Those poor people. Someone needs to whip them into shape. Squidward: What'll you have? Fred: Uh...I'll have a double Krabby Patty, Krabby fries, and uh—whoa! Squidward: What else? Fred: Uh, uh—a Krabby soda...Uh, uh—a Krabby... My leg! Squidward:  Hey!  Can I help you? Frank:  Yeah, I'll take a Krabby salad, dressing on the side, and 60 more minutes on this rad treadmill. Squidward:  Here's your change. Larry: Here's your order, sir.  And don't forget your side salad! Frank: Yeah! Push it, push it! Larry: Push it, push it! Octavius Rex:  Okay, okay. I'll push it. Larry: Push it, push it! Frank: Yeah, push it!","Yes, you made it! Now, claim your Krabby Patty!"
Octavius Rex:  Hooray...,"Aww, too pooped for a Krabby Patty."
"Larry: Ah, forget Krabby Patties. Those things are over.","But Larry, Krabby Patties are why people come here."
"Larry: Ooh, not anymore. Now we only serve salads and protein power shakes!","Ooh, power shake! I wanna taste."
Larry: You like?,"No, Larry. No."
Larry: But it gets you jacked!,I don't wanna be jacked. I just want my Krabby Patties back.
"Larry: Everybody wants to get jacked. Frank: Yeah, jacked!","Look, Larry, I really think we should go back to serving Krabby Patties. People love the... Larry?"
"Larry:  Jacked. Larry: SpongeBob! Squidward! Let's move it, boys. Get those power shakes out and those heart rates up!",Sorry!
Squidward: Whoa! Bubble Bass:  Oh! Horrible sustenance. Squidward: Let's get outta here!,Pardon my reach.
"Squidward: Go on without me!  No, wait, don't.","Squidward, I know Larry means well, but he's messing up the Krusty Krab! This used to be a shrine to the delicious Krabby Patty. Now it's just a stinky gym."
Larry:  Feel...the...burn!,"Squidward, go tell Larry he's fired."
"Squidward: Are you crazy? He is way too big for that. We need to come at this another way—a smart, dignified way! I know—we'll sabotage the place.  And I know just where to start: the power shakes.",I'm on it!
"Squidward: Wait, wait—what about me?","Butter!  Lard!  Mayonnaise. And now, fry it all up into a greasy, heart-stopping surprise!  Here you go."
"Larry: I'm loving this oily concoction. It really makes Larry's muscles pop!  Thanks, SpongeBob.","Okay, that failed. What now?"
Squidward: We'll sabotage the weight machines. Then these muscle heads will have to find a new place to work out!,Gotcha!
"Squidward: Wait, you idiot! Get me out of here. Frank: Awesome workout, bro!","Oh, I don't know what to do. I guess this place belongs to the gym guys now."
"Squidward: Don't leave me, SpongeBob! Wait, what am I saying? Customers: Help us!  Hungry!",What are you all doing out here? You should just go home.
"Harold: We can't go home. There's no Krabby Patties at home. I need my Krabby Patties, man!  You gotta help me! Customers: Help us! Help! Help!","Krabby Patties—that's it! Those gym guys have forgotten the simple, greasy pleasure of munching on a Krabby Patty, and we need to remind them."
"Larry and the gym guys: Huh? Larry: SpongeBob, you're ruining Larry's pump sesh.","Larry, you're ruining the Krusty Krab!"
"Larry: Get 'em, men!",Fire!
"Gym Guys: Mmm! Frank:  Get over here!  Mmm. Oh, gimme, gimme! Squidward: Give him a single! Give him a double with cheese!",Yeah!
Gym Guys: Huh?,"Give into the flavor, Larry!"
Larry:  Never!,"He's too fast. We need a distraction.  Here, use this."
"Larry: No, you gotta keep your elbow— Oh! Greasy, fatty, sticky, and gummy! It's delicious! Larry's been a fool. I've spent all my time working on my muscles when I could've been working on these delicious sandwiches.  What's—what's wrong with me? Bubble Bass: Now those are some sad pecs.","Aw, don't be sad, Larry. You were just trying to help people get into shape.  Eh—looks like your gym has some new customers."
Squidward: Somebody let me out of this thing already! Mr. Krabs:  Home sweet home.  Hmm?,Order up!
Mr. Krabs:  Everything's just how I left it.,"And slowly... Ever so slowly... The ancient crypt door creeps open... And from the festering brine of the darkest darkness, crawled forth monsters of such vile nature, whose appearance was so hideous and threatening, that the author died trying to recount them in this novel!  That story is so scary! But it's only a story, right, Gary?  Why don't you sleep up here tonight, Gary?  Well, I guess I should turn off the light now.  Sure is dark.  Oh, it's just a chair! I guess I'm imagining things in the dark.  Whoa! Another monster!  Oh, it's just a coral branch. Nothing to be scared of!  What was that?"
"Mr. Krabs: Hey, Squidward, have you seen SpongeBob? Mr. Krabs: Whoa. You don't look so good, laddie.","Oh, it's nothing, Mr. Krabs. I just had a rough night. But it's nice and bright today!"
"Mr. Krabs: Meandering mermaids! What's all this racket, boy?",The dark! Get it off! Get it off! Get it off! Get it off! Get it off! Get it off!
"Mr. Krabs: What is it now, boy?","Whenever I blink, I see nothing but the darkness!"
Mr. Krabs: Then don't blink.,"Great idea, Mr. Krabs. Yes, it's working..."
"Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, thats enough! We've got fifty orders to fill! Now go in the cooler and get some fresh patties.","You want me to go in there? Save me, the darkness!"
"Mr. Krabs: Now, look here. Your work is starting to affect me profits. You need to get some shut-eye. Why don't you get yourself a night light?",Night light?
"Mr. Krabs: Yeah, boy! It'll keep your room lit, so you won't be scared stiff!","Great idea, Mr. Krabs.  Night light, night light... Oh!  Oh, it's beautiful!  Excuse me! Are these night lights guaranteed to keep the creepy creatures of the dark away?"
"Gale: If I answer Yes, will you leave the store sooner?","Now that I can see...  Woo-hoo! I can sleep!  I wonder what's in my dark, scary-looking bathroom!  Night light! Night light!  Oh, thank you, thank you!  There, there, there, and there.  I've been needing to change your tail light anyways, Gary.  Now there's not one square inch of dark!"
Gary: Meow.,"What was that, Gary?"
Gary: Meow.,"You're right, Gary! I've got darkness inside of me!"
"Patrick: SpongeBob's having a party without me?  Hmph! Throw a party without your best friend? Oh, we'll just see about that.","That was close, Patrick! You're safe under these night lights. But you can't go out in the dark, buddy! You don't know what kind of creepy critter could be lurking in those shadows!"
Patrick: Oh!,"Wait, Patrick!  What is that, Gary?  Patrick, what are you doing!?"
Patrick: Oh! I had to move my rock out of the dark and into the light.,"You know what that means?  Sleepover!  Your sleeping bag, sir."
"Patrick: Thank you, my good man.","Oh, Patrick! I'm so glad you made that gaping hole in the wall, letting in all t-t-t-t-t-t..."
Both: The dark! Squidward:  Burning!,"The darkness, Patrick. I can feel it. Like it's creeping up on us..."
"Squidward: What are you two whimpering about? Squidward: It's me, Squidward, you idiots! Patrick: Hi, Squidward! Squidward: Listen, you guys. I don't care or want to know what you do in your spare time. But could you turn off all these lights?","But, Squidward! Without our night lights, the creepy creatures of the dar-"
"Squidward: Oh, SpongeBob, there are no creepy creatures of the dark. It's all in your imagination. Patrick: No, Squidward! Don't go out in the dark!  Oh, why won't he listen?","Patrick, what if Squidward's right? What if all this is all in our imagination?"
"Patrick: Well, in that case, we'll need even more lights!","You said it, Pat!"
"Patrick: Quick, SpongeBob! Turn it on!  More lights!  Now, SpongeBob! More lights! Fish #1:  The battery-operated spoon has saved me so much time. Mermaid Man:  This is what passes for info-tainment these days?  Sweet mother of Neptune's mother! Look, Barnacle Boy! A call to action! To the Invisible Boat Mobile! Patrick: More lights, SpongeBob! More lights!",Mermaid Man!?
Patrick: Barnacle Boy!,Aww... Are you here to protect us from the darkness that surrounds us?
Mermaid Man: We don't have time for your childish games! We're responding to the distress signal that you sent!,"Oh, I'm sorry, Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy. There appears to be a misunderstanding. You see, Patrick and I put up those lights to scare away the monsters in the dark! We weren't trying to summon you."
"Mermaid Man: Oh, fiddlesticks, SpongeBob. Do you know how hard it is in our... advanced age... to move? Don't shine a giant light in the sky unless there's a real emergency.  And another thing: What the-!?  Dear Neptune! It's the most dangerous and foreboding of all our arch nemeses—My mortal enemy whom I have searched 57 years for! At last, I have you! Come get some, fiend!  Come back here, rival!","Oh, my! Mermaid Man needs assistance! There is no need to fear, AbsorboPants is here!"
"The Moth: Savory light, come to me!","Say, let me help you!  Is that enough light for you?  Well, he's all taken care of."
Mermaid Man: Who?,"The Moth, silly! Your archenemy. You'll be happy to know he won't be going anywhere anytime soon!"
"The Moth: See you in another 57 years! Mermaid Man: No! Barnacle Boy: I think it's time to go home. Mermaid Man: Why are we here again? SpongeBob & Patrick: Bye, Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy! Mermaid Man: Who are those two hideous creatures of the dark? Barnacle Boy:  I'll tell you about it in the morning. Now, drive!","We're all alone, Patrick. No lights. No shelter."
"Patrick: Huh? SpongeBob, there's a really big light! I'll go get it, buddy!",Pat! Come ba...
"Patrick:  Too much light! Too much light! Mr. Krabs: You'll never get me secret Krabby Patty formula, Plankton! Adios! Sandy: Hmm?  Plankton, you look like the cheese that fell off the cracker. I bet you tried to get that formula again. Plankton:  I don't get it. A crab's brain is smaller than the point of a pencil, but he keeps outsmarting me! Sandy: You should give up that formula. Mr. Krabs would have to be as dumb as Patrick. Plankton:  Yes.  Yes he would! As dumb as Patrick! Plankton: One swab from the inside of his cheek should do it. Plankton: Nagging Neptune!  Back you twisted tongue! You will not lick me! Plankton: Sweet gashes molasses! Karen: Oh, pee-yew! What's that awful stench? You're not boiling your underpants again, are you? Plankton: I told you to turn off that laugh track. And if you must know, I made sauce.  But when I add Patrick's DNA to it, it'll become Salsa Imbecilicus. Plankton: Idiot sauce!  I'll serve it to Krabs and it'll make him so dumb, he'll just give me the secret formula! Huh? Huh? Karen: I think I'd prefer the boiling underpants.  Let me do it. You always make a mess. Plankton: Leave me be, woman! Karen: Don't tell me... Plankton: Oh no. Squidward: I've got the best taste in town! Duh! Sandy: I never thought that folks around here were particularly bright. But this morning everyone seems as dumb as traffic cones. Sandy: What happened to your head, SpongeBob?","Uh, me make Krabby Patties."
"Sandy: Uh, that's mud. Sandy: Hey, Patrick. Have you noticed that everyone's acting a lot like you today? Patrick: I don't understand the question. Sandy: What in Sam Hill? Sandy: Hey, don't do that! Sandy: Lining up for the Chum Bucket? Now, I know everyone's got a hole in their screen door. This place is ground zero for zero. Sandy:  Zero as being everyone's collective IQ. Karen: And that's how the idiot sauce spread throughout Bikini Bottom. I guess you weren't affected because you were protected by your treedome. Sandy: And you weren't affected because you're a computer. Looks like it's up to us to find a cure for the town's idiocy. Plankton: You not Plankton! Me Plankton! Karen: We need to snap him out of this. What's the opposite of dim? Sandy: Bright. Karen: It's not working! Maybe we can feed him something for brain food. You're smart. What do you eat? Sandy: Nuts? Sandy: Oh, it doesn't seem to be working. You know him. How do you get him to change? Karen: I usually just yell at him. Get smart, dummy! Sandy: Wise up! Karen: Be clever, idiot! Sandy: Know things! Karen:  It's no use. Being smart takes work. Sandy:  That gives me an idea. Sandy: Come one, come all to Bikini Bottom University! A free education for all! There's no more excuse for being a dope! Step right up, all you morons! Classes are now beginning! Sandy: Aww! This isn't working! Karen: Try jiggling the keys! Sandy: Good mornin', students. Sandy: A whole school full of Patricks? Looks like we've got our work cut out for us. French Narrator: One semester later... Sandy: And don't forget your last homework assignment! Karen: Looks like we were able to educate the whole town in one semester! Sandy: Yep! Day after tomorrow is graduation! And everybody learned so well. Karen: Everybody but one. Plankton:  Yeah! Mr. Krabs:  Skool iz dum? You misspelled every word. Plankton:  Shut up, dweeb! Plankton: Cook books, eh? You holdin' out on me, Krabs? Mr. Krabs: I don't know what you're talkin' about, Plankton! Leave me alone! Plankton: I know you're cookin' up something special in Home EC, Eugene! I want that formula!","Um, Plankton, can I come out now?"
"Plankton: Did you finish my homework for me, nerd?","Yeah. You know, you really ought to do your own homework. It's the only way you'll learn."
"Plankton: I'll never learn! Plankton: Not again! French Narrator: Ahh. Graduation Day. Sandy: This is a proud day for everyone in Bikini Bottom! And as a treat, Squidward will play Pomp and Circumstance on the clarinet.","Hurry up, Mr. Krabs. They're handing out the diplomas."
Mr. Krabs: Just a minute. I think I've perfected the Krabby Patty formula!  Yes! That's it!,"Great! Well, see ya out there."
"Plankton: Somethin' smells good! Mr. Krabs: Oh! P...P...Plankton? What are you doin' here? Plankton: It's the last day of school, baby. No need to be formal. Call me Sheldon.  Great Neptune! That's perfection! Well, with this recipe, I could own the most popular fast food restaurant in Bikini Bottom! Mr. Krabs:  No, please! Not that! Anything but that! Plankton: Hand over that secret formula, Krabs! Karen: Congratulations, SpongeBob! You're smart now! It's funny that Mr. Krabs never showed up to get his diploma.",Yeah. The only two people who didn't show up are Mr. Krabs and Plankton.  Let me have that diploma!
"Patrick: Uh, hey. No running in the halls! Mr. Krabs: Here you go, Plankton.","Mr. Krabs, your diploma!"
"Mr. Krabs: Thanks to this here diploma, I'm suddenly smart enough to never give you me secret formula! Plankton: What?! If I knew education worked like that, I would have bought a diploma years ago! Mr. Krabs: Of course it doesn't work like that, you microscopic meathead! I took  accelerated classes and graduated months ago! This diploma is just a formality! Plankton: But... but you were just about to give me the formula! Y..You were scared of me! Sandy: Excellent, Mr. Krabs!  Here's your final grade for acting class. A+.  I've really felt the fear. Plankton: Wait, what?! Acting class?!  No! Mr. Krabs: You've finally been schooled, drop-out! Karen: Come on, evil genius. Time to start your post-college years. Squidward:  You people are proof that evolution can go in reverse! Customers: Shh! Customers: Ooh! Ahh!",Ta-da!
"Bubble Bass: Ooh, impressive! That's most impressive! Mr. Krabs: Mr. Squidward, why aren't these walking wallets spending money? Squidward:  Because they're too busy watching SpongeBob cook! Mr. Krabs: What? Squidward:  Ow! Mr. Krabs: Hmm. Well, he's not exactly maximerizing his worktime with those flourishes. But, boy, does that boy-o have talent.  Ding!  And talent equals money!",I have X-ray vision! I can see through walls!
"Mr. Krabs: Calm your waters, lad. I just knocked it down.",Why'd you do that?
"Mr. Krabs: In the restaurant business, it's called an open kitchen so the customers can watch the cook cook.","Oh, Mr. Krabs, I don't think I can take that kind of pressure."
"Mr. Krabs: Nonsense. You're a born performer.  Ooh!  Here.  You even got your own dressing room. See? Huh? Huh? Mr. Krabs: Hmm? Uh...  Come on, boy-o, it's showtime!",I can't! I've got stage fright!
"Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, if you don't come out, you're fired! Mr. Krabs: There he is!  ChefBob!  Me little star!  Break a leg. Break two legs. Fred:  My leg! Mr. Krabs: Shut up, Fred!  Ta-da! Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da! Customers: Ooh! Harold Reginald: What? Fred: That's just wrong! Mr. Krabs: Come on, boy-o! Razzle-dazzle them!","Oh, what do I do? What do I do?  Huh? Oh!"
"ChefBob: Hi, everybody! Who's hungry? Dave: I guess I am. ChefBob: Welcome, welcome to my job in the kitchen of ChefBob! I cook and dance, I wear square pants, cooking for this hungry mob!  Your order, please! Mr. Krabs:  The little ChefBob is a sensation. ChefBob: Hi, everybody! Who's hungry? Customers: We are! ChefBob: Huh? ChefBob: Ha, ho! Ha, ho! Voilà! ChefBob: Ta-da! Clay:  Oh-ho! Look at the time. I gotta get home and get my beauty sleep. Squidward: Oh, what died on that guy's neck? Oh, it's his head. ChefBob: Huh? ChefBob: Hey, what died on your neck? Oh, it's your head! Squidward: Oh, that little plagiarist. That was my line. Clay:  Obviously, the sleep hasn't been helping!",D-did I say that? I didn't say that.
"Jennifer Mille:  Hey, do me! Insult me! ChefBob: Alright. Roses are red, violets are blue, I was born pretty, what happened to you? Jennifer Mille:  That was a good one. ChefBob:  Huh? Oh!","ChefBob, we don't speak like that to our customers."
"Harold (red fish): Me next!  Shoot me a zinger! ChefBob: Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't get that.  I don't speak goober! Harold (red fish):  I love it! Guilty as charged! Squidward: Oh, great. I've created a monster. A funny, talented monster. Mr. Krabs: Ho, ho, ho, ho!  Oh, I gotta hand it to ya! That new insult comedy act is really bringing in the money! Mr. Krabs: Ah, what's this, here?","Sorry, Mr. Krabs. It's a list of things ChefBob needs for his little dressing room."
"Mr. Krabs: Oh-ho, does he?  Fresh cut seaweed.  A manicurist for SpongeBob's puppet hand? What?  A bigger dressing room? ChefBob: In the meantime, we'll just take over your office, Blubber Boy. Mr. Krabs: Blubber Boy?!  No way! ChefBob:  What's the matter, Krabs?  You don't like money? Mr. Krabs:  What?... Of course I like money. The office will be ready in five minutes.","ChefBob, I think your insults are mean and hurtful. What do you say we just go back to the Krabby Patty routines, huh?"
ChefBob: Need I remind you that my insults pay your salary?,"Yes, sir. I mean, no, sir."
"Squidward: ChefBob, you stole my line! I do all the insults around here! ChefBob:  Oh, I am so sorry, Squidward. You're absolutely right. Squidward: Um, oh, well, uh, thank you. It's—it's—it's really not such a big deal. ChefBob: Let me make it up to ya!  Hi, everybody! I'd like to introduce you to a very good friend of mine: Squidward Tentacles! Squidward: Huh? Oh, no. Please, please, you're to—you're too kind. ChefBob: I was gonna ask Squidward how old he was, but then I remembered he can't count that high! Squidward:  Huh?","Alright, that's it! You can't talk to Squidward that way! He is one of my best friends!"
"Squidward:  That's even more insulting. ChefBob: Get a load of him, folks! He must've been born on a highway because that's where most accidents happen! Nat Peterson: Ow! Not funny! Jimmy Gus: He scores! Fred: Yeah, yeah! Fight in the bathroom! ChefBob: Have a drink! ChefBob: No, no!",En garde!
"Mr. Krabs: Me customers!  Alright, enough of this. Hand puppet Mr. Krabs: ChefBob, you are hereby fired!  Mr. Squidward, will you do the honors? Hand puppet Squidward:  Let me help you slip into something more comfortable. Like the gutter!",I learned a very valuable lesson today.
Hand puppet Mr. Krabs: To always be yourself and not hide behind a puppet?,"Well, yeah, that, but  mostly don't slam your puppet hand in a register drawer. Ow. What is it, Squidward?"
"Mr. Krabs:  What is it, Mr. Squidward? Squidward: It's—it's alive! TV Announcer: And now, it's time for the ChefBob Cooking with Insults Show! And here's your host, ChefBob! ChefBob: Hi, everybody! Who's hungry? ChefBob: Alright. Roses are red, violets are blue, I was born pretty, what happened to you? ChefBob: Yay, yeah! Yay, yeah! Patrick: Okay, SpongeBob! It's your turn! I'm ready!","Okay, Patrick! Here I come!"
"Patrick: Nice landing!  Darn, I missed! SpongeBob, look out for my body!","Patrick, maybe we should play something that involves less thinking."
Patrick: Okay.,Hey! Maybe we can play a game with this ball that was buried under here!
Patrick: Ball! Let me see it!  What a weird ball.,"Well, who knows how long it... Ah! Mother of Neptune! Get away from me! Get away from me!"
"Patrick: There's nothing to be afraid of, SpongeBob. It's just a little worm. See?","You're right, Patrick. I'm sorry we destroyed your nest, little worm. I promise it won't happen again.  Look, Patrick!"
Patrick: Looks like he's taking a fancy to you.,Yeah. Hey! Why don't we invite Mr. Wormsley to stay at my place? At least until his nest grows back.
Patrick: That sounds delightful!,"Gary!  Make yourself descent.  You have a visitor.  Gary, wake up.  That's right, just bring in here. Careful, careful now. That's right."
Gary: Meow.,"Oh, hi, Gary, are you ready to meet your new friend?"
Gary: Meow.,"That's right, say hello to Mr. Wormsley."
Patrick: Something tells me they don't like each other.,"Come on, now. Guys, come on. Let's touch soft spots in a friendly manner. See? You're just saying hi. That's right. There you go, that's it. Oh, I knew you could get along. There, there you go. See? Friends.  Oh, my goodness! Patrick, oh! Oh, Patrick, please do something!"
"Patrick: Uh, SpongeBob, I gotta get going. See you later now.","Okay, Patrick, see you later then. All right, Gary, just so there isn't more upset, I'm gonna ask that you sleep on the guest newspaper tonight, and Mr. Wormsley is going to be sleeping in here with me.  Now, now, Gary, there's no need for protest.  See? I set it all nice just for you. There you are.  Night, Gare."
Gary: Meow.,"Oh, sounds like Patrick is having one of his night fits again. I'll just close the window.   Mr. Wormsley!  Whoa! I'm gonna go get help. Whatever's wrong with you, don't move! Just, uh, read the sports section or something. He's in here.  Oh! I can't watch!"
Patrick: SpongeBob.,Yes?
Patrick: Something tells me that Mr. Wormsley is actually a Mrs. Wormsley.,"Oh! Patrick, it’s a miracle."
Patrick: That it is.,Wait till Gary sees.
Patrick: Yeah! Wait till...,"See, Gare? Right in here. They're gone asleep."
Patrick: Looks like they still aren't quite used to each other.,"Well, these things take time."
"SpongeBob and Patrick: Duck and cover! Patrick: This town is getting too rough for me. Gary: Meow, meow, meow.",He's chased her away! Now who will care for her abandoned litter of adorable newborn infants?
"Patrick: Well, maybe you could take care of them.","I dunno, Patrick. I've never seen Gary that upset."
Patrick: Ga...who?,"Nope, you and I are just gonna have to find loving homes for each and every one of these little guys. Right, Patrick?  Patrick?  Don't worry, little guys. Squidward is a really good friend of mine, and he really likes pets."
"Squidward:  SpongeBob, what are you doing here? Don't you know that it's 7:00 in the morning?","Squidward, I came over with a very special surprise."
Squidward: Don't you know that it's 7:00 in the morning?,How would you like to have your very own pet baby worms?
Squidward: Don't you know that it's 7:00 in the—baby what?,Baby worms. See? Aren't they just adorable at that age?
Squidward:,"So, how many did you want?"
"Mrs. Puff: Yes? Oh, it's you, SpongeBob. What are you, uh, doing here? And not that the teacher's most enthusiastic student isn't welcome in her house.","Good morning, Mrs. Puff."
Mrs. Puff: It almost was.,Would you like a baby worm?
Mrs. Puff: A what?,"Uh, I'll just come back later, Mrs. Puff. Have a nice day!"
Mrs. Puff:  I hate Mondays.,"Don't worry, little worms. I know a place where we can find go to find homes for every single one of you.  Good morning, ma'am. How are you today? Could I interest you in some...  Ma'am?  That whistling. It's Larry Lobster! Hi, Larry, what are you up to?"
Larry: Do I know you?,Probably not.
Larry: I was just picking up some dietary supplements here at the supermarket. I've been working on my chest... and buns.,So I see.
"Larry: Well, catch you later.","Oh, Larry, wait."
"Larry: No time now. Somewhere, there's sand that needs kicking.","Okay. I was just gonna see if you wanted one of these poor, lonely baby worms."
Larry: Baby worms?,"Well, yeah!"
Larry: I'll take them off your hands.,Really?
"Larry: Sure, why not? That's just what the nutritionist ordered: raw protein!","Larry, no!"
"Larry: Dude, nice hustle.","Oh, little wormies, I'm so glad you're safe. Now let's go see about finding you those homes I promised.  Hello?"
"Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, it's Mr. Krabs. I've been looking all over for you. You're three hours late for work!  Hello?","I'm sorry, Mr. Krabs, I came as fast as I could--"
"Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, are you sure you're feeling shipshape?","I'm sorry, Mr. Krabs. My pet worm had babies and got chased away. Now I've got to find them all a place to live."
Mr. Krabs: Babies?,Yeah.
Mr. Krabs: Let me see.,Really?
"Mr. Krabs: Yeah, come on, let me see them. I like babies.","Well, okay."
"Mr. Krabs:  Hey there, little critters.  Come to...","Oh, he likes you."
"Mr. Krabs:  Get that disgusting vermin out of me restaurant, pronto!  Blech!","Oh, well. At least I still have you guys."
"Garbage Fish #1: Hmm... Garbage Fish #2: What is it? Garbage Fish #1: I'd recognize this goo anywhere. It comes from a baby spotted glistening meadow worm, the rarest of its species. Garbage Fish #2: Dude, those things are worth a fortune. Mr. Krabs: Did you say fortune?   $5.99, that's right. Get them while they last. Don't be shy, folks. Female fish: These things are so cute!","Enjoy your new home, little guy."
Female fish: Isn't he just adorable?,"That sure was a great idea you had, Mr. Krabs."
"Mr. Krabs: Well, it's like they always say back in the old country, lad.",What's that?
"Mr. Krabs: I don't know. I've never been to the old country! Larry: What you see before you is the culmination of my lifelong dream! A place of my own where I can work out everyday and anytime I want, Larry's Gym! Larry: Looking out at this sea of plastic muscles and sagging flesh. Frankly, I'm disgusted. Crowd: Awwww! Larry: Therefore, I'm now opening the gym to everyone in Bikini Bottom! Larry: For the price of a lifetime membership! Crowd: Awww! Larry: But today everything is free! Larry's #1 Fan: Shape us and mold us in your image! Frankie Billy:  You're the lobster, Larry! The Alpha Lobster! Larry: Well, I don't know if I'll say that! Lloyd-Rich: Oh, I filled out a membership form! Nat Peterson: Me too! Larry: What's in that pink box? Nat Peterson: Um, donuts sir? Larry: Do-nut brings those in here! In the meantime, enjoy yourself because your first visit is free! Mr. Krabs: Is it true that everything is free? Larry: That's right, sir! For your first visit we- Larry: Hello? In conclusion, I'm at your service to turn anyone anyone into a ripped heap of muscle glory! Larry: Boy, I've got my work cut out for me. Larry: The doors are automatic. Just step on the mat.",Oh!
Larry:  Here!,"Aah! Thanks, Larry!"
"Larry: Uh, what are you doing? Mr. Krabs: You said everything was free. Larry:  No, no. Your first visit is free. Mr. Krabs: So what you're saying is if I never leave, it will be free forever! Larry:  Time to go live the dream! Right after I... file this paperwork. Larry:  I didn't think there'd be so much of it.","Excuse me, Larry. I was just working out and I was wondering. Is this normal?"
Larry: Even your cramps have cramps! You need to follow my number 1 rule.  Always be hydrating.,"Gee, Larry. You think I'll ever be as strong as you?"
"Larry: Sure!  What kind of a gym owner would I be if I couldn't take a puny, squishy lump like you?",Squishy.
Larry:  What I'm saying is I can make you a man.,Hooray!
"Larry: I'm gonna make you my personal project. Of course, you'll have to sign up for a lifetime membership.",I'm ready!
Larry: That reminds me. You need to start hydrating right now!,"Yes, sir!"
Larry: And remember: always be hydrating!,"Ok, I will!"
"Larry: That's what I like to see! Come on, we'll finish those later.","Good. 'Cause I was really crashing here. Signing those papers.  Feelin' the burn? Is that what you call it? I heard Angel singing, Beautiful Angel. That's normal, right?"
"Frank (muscular goldfish): It's Larry, King of the Gym! Larry: Oh, you guys. I'm just an ordinary Alpha Lobster doing his job. Towel boy! Larry: Polish this crown for me. Will you? Mr. Krabs: Hey! Join us, boy! Ho-ho! I can't believe I'm allowed to lift these...  really heavy... pieces of metal for free! Mr. Krabs: Ow! Free!","I don't know, Larry. I'm not good at lifting things."
"French Narrator: Flashback... French Narrator: End of flashback... Larry: Let me see. I may have something that'll work for you. Larry: Here we go. Cotton swabs.  Cotton balls.  Here. Try this on for size, Hercules.",How am I doing?
Larry: Pathetic.,"Look, Larry! I hydrating! Oh, I am hydrating so much!"
"Larry: Yeah, I've got another idea, SpongeBob. Come with me. Larry: First thing tomorrow morning, this is gonna be where I leave my exercise class.",I'll be there!
"Larry: That's the spirit! And we're going to get you started early. Let me see some crunches! Larry: The only thing I wanna see in your mouth is that water bottle!  Now what did I tell you? Always be hydrated! Now, I'll show you some crunches!  Yeow! Yeow! Yeow! Yeow! Yeow!","Oh, I can do that. That's what I do when I laugh.  Only now, I'll do it on my back."
Larry: Could you do it without the laugh?,"I won't lie to you, Larry. Probably not."
Larry: Whatever works I guess. Keep up with that and most importantly...,Always be hydrating.
"Larry:  Ok. I have a lot of paperwork to catch up on. Mr. Krabs: Free towels! Free towels! Free towels! Free towels! Free! Free! Larry: Do you have to do that in front of me? Mr. Krabs: Yes! Yes I do!  Because I sincerely want to thank you for a truly life-changing experience! Sucker! Mr. Krabs: Nice potbelly! Larry: Potbelly? Larry: Oh, I forgot all about my prodigy. Larry:  Oh my Neptune!",Aw! That's gonna come out of my paycheck!
Frankie Billy: My legs!  I'm ok!  Slightly less ok! Squidward: SpongeBob!,Yeah?
Squidward: What are you... Whoa! You've been working out.,"Yeah, I hope you have some glue for me because I am ripped! Oh, I'm late for the gym! Can you cover for me in the kitchen, Squidward?"
Squidward: Yes! Anything you meathead! Just go before you destroy the place!,"Larry? Gee, Larry. You've really let yourself go."
"Larry: With all this paperwork, I haven't had any time to do my crunches. The only thing I've been crunching is numbers. But I'm gonna get back in shape. You'll see.","Yeah, Larry! Sure you will!"
"Larry: SpongeBob, tell me the truth.  Do I have a potbelly?","No, Larry. Don't be silly. You don't have a potbelly."
Larry:  See you in exercise class. I guess. Mr. Krabs: Oh boy! Free soup!  Little heavy on the salt.,"Oh, he'll be here. Don't worry. Larry made me the man I am today. I taught me just do stuff you'll always do, but do it on your back. Laugh on your back. Walk on your back. And don't forget. Always be hydrated. That means drink plenty of water. I hope Larry's ok. But while we're waiting, I guess we could ride bicycles on our backs."
"Mr. Krabs: Hey, Larry! Thanks for all the free steam! Ha-ha! Sucker. Larry: Oh, what's the use. Larry: Oh, who am I kidding!","You wanted to see me, sir?"
"Larry: Yeah.  Look, uh, you're obviously the alpha male at the gym now and I'm just a shell of my former self.","I hear ya, Larry. I just wanna get back to the Krusty..."
"Larry: I need you to take over. You're a natural leader, SpongeBob.  You should be in charge of the fun stuff while I sit here in the reception area slowly getting fatter and paler until I die.","This sounds great. Oh, Larry, look at me! I'm too big to work the grill anymore! That makes me sad!"
Larry: Come over here and give me a bro-hug!,You mean a br-ug?
Larry: I don't wanna call it that.,"Here's to our new lives! Our terrible, terrible new lives! Whoa, what happened?"
"Larry: Dude, you were just overhydrated! Those weren't real muscles, they were water muscles!","Larry, your br-ug was so super strong, it took the water muscles right out of me!"
Larry: Don't say br-ug.,Br-ug.
"Larry: SpongeBob, laughing on my back was just what I needed!  You're a pretty good instructor after all.  Oh boy. The way you laugh really gets on my nerves. French Narrator: The very next evening... Squidward: Well, that was the last customer, SpongeBob.","Oh, what a great day."
"Squidward: And you know why it was a great day? Because Krabs never even showed up. Larry: Huh?  What is that smell?  Mr. Krabs, how long have you been in there?! Mr. Krabs: I think I'm done! Would you mind rubbin' a little butter on me? Mr. Krabs: Squidward! Squidward:  What is your problem? Mr. Krabs: My problem is that you aren't workin'! Which means I lose M-U-N-E-E! Which means you lose your J-O-B! Squidward: Remind me again, is that good news or bad news? {{L|Mr. Krabs|Tentacles, I mean it!  You get back to mindin' that register! Squidward: Minding it for  which customer? Mr. Krabs: I see your point. But still, I'm not paying you to dream sweet nothin's! Do something! Pick up a mop, a broom, uh, a window wiper, a spatula, even! Squidward: SpongeBob's got that covered.","Dust specs on the window! Don't worry, boss man, I got it covered!  That's better! Oh, sounds like the dishes are done soaking!"
"Mr. Krabs: That's a perfect example of what I'm talkin' about! Stayin' busy! Squidward: I was busy, trying to forget about this place 'till you woke me up. Mr. Krabs: Okay, have it your way, Squidward! Since you can't be bothered to take the initiative yourself, it's clear I must assign tasks to you. Hmm... Mr. Squidward, scrub the walls of the Krusty Krab 'till they gleam!","Already done, sir!"
"Mr. Krabs: Well, that's very nice, boy, thank you. But, you see, I'm tryin' to give Squidward a task.","Hmm... well, the smoke duct needs sweeping!"
"Mr. Krabs: Excellent idea, Mr. SquarePants! Squidward, I'd like you to sweep--",Done and dusted!
"Squidward: Nice working conditions, but, no thanks! Mr. Krabs: Oh, is that so?  Perhaps you'd prefer scraping the gum off the underside of these tables! Squidward: Oh, a restaurant employee handling chewed bubble gum? That's gotta violate a lot of health codes.","Not if you wear gloves, it doesn't.  Mind if I take this to Patrick after work, Mr. Krabs?"
"Mr. Krabs: I guess SpongeBob has a handle on all the Krusty Krab duties. Which leaves you with all the extracirculars!  Like shinin' me shoes! Squidward: Sorry, all out of polish.","Well, I'm not!"
"Mr. Krabs: Wash me boat!  Listen, Squidward, I'm gonna get a full day's work out of you one way or another. Squidward: It doesn't matter what you want me to do, I won't do it! Mr. Krabs: Oh-ho, yeah? Fine...if you refuse to work, then I can't be held responsible.","Responsible for what, Mr. Krabs?"
Mr. Krabs: For...for...  ...a visit from...the Yeti Krab.,The Yeti Krab?
"Mr. Krabs:  Yeah. Everyone's heard of the abominable Yeti Krab...  ...with his long, wide hair, and six-pack abs...  ...and yeller' teeth! And everybody knows that he only comes out of his mountain cave to feed on lazy workers.  He's attracted to the scent, he can smell your lazy, lazy stench from hundreds of miles away!","Oh, wait. What am I worried about? I'm a hard-working, self-motivated sponge."
"Mr. Krabs: Yes, but that won't make any difference because of your proximity to Squidward's laziness. You will be eaten!",Squidward and I are as close as brothers!
"Squidward: Ludicrous. Mr. Krabs: You won't think so if that big, hairy fellow wants to eat ya!  Yeah. Now, listen up, boys! Bossman Krabs is steppin' out for a minute.  But I want this tub of laundry done before I come back, or...",Or the Yeti Krab will smell our laziness and eat us!
"Mr. Krabs: Precisely. See ya, boys! Squidward: Whatever.","Squidward, what are you doing?  Oh, no! Your lack of work is taking on an odor!"
Squidward:  You sure it's not these you're smelling?,"If the Yeti Krab catches wind of it, he's gonna...  you know,  eat us!"
"Squidward: Oh, come on, SpongeBob. Krabs' Yeti story is a complete and total crock!","Squidward, Mr. Krabs would never make up something like that!"
"Squidward: You can believe in whatever garbage you want to. Just do it away from me. Now, run along and wash Krabs' undies.","You got it, Squidward!  Anything to keep that Yeti Krab at bay."
"Narrator: Just then... By sheer coincidence... Yeti Krab's stomach: Let me out of here, you hairy brute! I can find my own food!","Good day, sir. Are you Yeti to order?  Oh, Squidward!"
Squidward:  What? What? What? Wha... huh?,You are not gonna believe this! There's a Yeti Krab at table 7! And he is sniffing out the lazy!
"Squidward:  Of course, he is. Nice costume, Eugene. Couldn't you at least have it dry-cleaned or pressed?  Didn't brush this morning. Did we?","Please don't eat us, Mr. Yeti! We're not lazy!"
"Squidward:  Oh, yes I am.","Oh, boy! I'll have to work twice as hard to make up for Squidward's laziness!  A wobbly table! Oh, we can't have that!  Come on. No.  There! Perfect!  Yikes! Time to top off the mustard!  See I'm busy! I'm organizing the spice racks! By color!  Well, I guess while I'm down here, I'll hit the old grease traps again.  I'm not lazy! Don't eat me!  I'm sorry, Mr. Yeti Krab!"
Squidward:  I almost feel sorry for the little nimrod.  What the? Do you mind?,"Sorry, Squidward! Just varnishing the ceiling!"
"Squidward:  Oh, I hope you're happy, Mr. Krabs! You're driving him insane!  Yeah, yeah, yeah. You'll eat me if I'm lazy. Whatever.  Not the home and garden section! SpongeBob!","Huh? Oh, sorry. Just making all the rivets are securely welded."
"Squidward: SpongeBob, we have no customers today! Ergo, we have nothing to do! No matter what that buffoon wants you to think!","Shh! Squidward, he might hear you! Don't worry, Mr. Yeti Krab! We have plenty to do!  I can replenish the toilet paper!  And redecorate Mr. Krabs' office!  And refold the napkins into origami figures!  Knit straw cozies!  Clean the soap!  Re-clean the grill!  Washing inside the walls!  Sucking up every dust particle in the restaurant!"
"Squidward: Have you lost it, SpongeBob?!",Lost it?  Lost it?  What a silly thing to say!
Squidward:  Guess I'm down to the comic section.,Squidward! You were right! There's no more work to do!  I have done it all!  Which means he is gonna eat us!
"Squidward: That does it!  I have had it with this ridiculous ruse!  Using fear to prey on a feeble mind!  Even SpongeBob doesn't deserve that!  Enjoy spooking the witless, eh Krabs? Well, we'll just see how you like it.  Roar! See? I can dress up as a convincing Yeti Krab too!",T-T-T-T-T-T-Two Yeti Krabs!
"Squidward:  Take off that phony suit, Mr. Krabs! You're not fooling anybody! Mr. Krabs: I'm back, fellas! Squidward:  Sorry, Mr. Krabs. I'm a little busy trying to pull off this stupid mask of yours. Mr. Krabs: Uh, Squidward? Squidward: What? Mr. Krabs: We're as good as Yeti food! I blame Squidward!","Guys, do you hear that?"
Squidward: You mean the sound of my own flesh sizzling to a crisp?,"No, I'm talking about the sound of a hungry customer. He doesn't want to eat us for being lazy, he wants to eat us because he's hungry. Fellas, leave this to me."
"Mr. Krabs: Way to go, boy! He loves it!  And look, he's a paying customer.  Come back and see us anytime, Mr. Yeti Krab!  Hey, what are you two doing standing idle? Squidward, sweep out the crow's nest! Squidward: No.",Done!
Mr. Krabs: Refinish me floors! Squidward: No.,Done!
Mr. Krabs: Build me a new safe! Squidward: Nuh-uh.,Consider it done!
"Mr. Krabs: Yeesh, we need some customers in here.  What's gotten into you? Patrick: I don't know.  What's happening to me?","I think I can explain.  Yes, I've seen this one before. It's a common symptom. Patrick is suffering from Krabby Patty Withdrawal. He needs one, or he'll keep mumbling about it for the next 3-1/2 minutes."
"Mr. Krabs: Oh, he needs one, eh?  Methinks a paying customer's in our midst.  Patrick, how's a Krabby Patty with extra cheese sound? Patrick:  Give me! Mr. Krabs: Not yet. First, I have to know, can you pay for it? Patrick: Oh, yeah, I can pay for it. Mr. Krabs: Good boy. Narrator: Ten seconds later... Mr. Krabs: My good man, how you doing?  Excellent. Now, let's get down to business. Patrick: What's that? Mr. Krabs: It's your bill. Patrick: I don't have any money. Mr. Krabs: What? I thought you said you could pay for it! Patrick:  Oh, I'm payin' for it all right. Mr. Krabs:  Non-paying customer! Patrick:  Huh? Mr. Krabs:  You're gonna pay, one way or another.  All right, Patrick, if you're not gonna pay for your food with money you're gonna pay with hard, physical labor. I want you to swab the latrine.  I'll be back in a while to check up on you.  Bottom-feeding... Patrick: No problem. Tra-la-la-la-la.  Work, work, work, work. Mr. Krabs:  So, Patrick, how are you...?  What in blazes did you do? Patrick:  I accidentally tried the hand soap.  It doesn't taste as good as it smells. Mr. Krabs: See these ice cube trays?  I want you to put 'em in that bucket. Patrick: How do I do that? Mr. Krabs: Figure it out! Patrick: Uh... I have to be very gentle. Mr. Krabs: What the...? What are you doing? Patrick:  Almost done, Mr. Krabs. Mr. Krabs: You've destroyed me refrigerator.  You've destroyed many of the things I love.  I got another job that even a nimrod like you couldn't mess up.  All you got to do is throw all of these trash bags down the trash chute, like so.  See? Patrick: Yup. Mr. Krabs: Good, 'cause if you mess this up, you'll never eat another Krabby Patty again! Patrick: Hurry, hurry, hurry! Mr. Krabs:  Here, boy, take this sack of loot and put her in me safe.","Okie dokie, Mr. Krabs.  Patrick, what's up, buddy?"
"Patrick:  I have to get rid of this trash, but it won't go down.",That's because you didn't hit the trash compactor switch.
"Patrick: SpongeBob, you're a genius!  Oh, no, there's one left.","Patrick, that's not a...  trash bag."
"Patrick:  NO! Why won't you go down?! Mr. Krabs: Well, well, let's see how the poor boy's doing. Well, did you earn me money back yet, Patrick? Patrick:  Can I eat now? Squidward: Another beautiful Sunday in Bikini Bottom. Nothing can ruin my good mood today!","Good morning, Squidward!"
"Squidward:  Ignoring, ignoring! La la dum. La la dee. La la doo.  Chewing gum!? That's disgusting!  Oh, c'mon!  People who litter really bug me!  Litterbugs.  Litterbugs! Officer John:  Litter!  Aha! Squidward:  Bugs... litter... litter... bugs. Officer John: Hey, you! Did you throw this gum away? Squidward: Yes I did, and I like to complain! Officer John: Ah... So you admit that you are a litterbug? Squidward: I do... What? No! No no, I just stepped in it! Officer John: Oh, you sure did, buddy. You disgust me...  Maybe this will teach you not to treat the world as your own personal trash can! Squidward: Bikini Bottom P.D. Ticket for littering. Penalty: Community service?! Squidward: Stupid Policeman, I'm no litter bug!  Hey! No more trash! Looks like I'm done! Thug Fish: Here, you can have mine. Squidward:  Can things get any worse? Squilliam: Of course they can! Squidward: Daagh! Squilliam Fancyson! My arch foe from band class! Squilliam: Stuck doing community service eh? Court ordered? Squidward: No! I... um... I'm... volunteering! Yeah, I'm cleaning up Bikini Bottom, selflessly devoting my time to a worthy cause. Squilliam: Oooh! Maybe if you clean up Bikini Bottom, they'll build a statue of you! Oh, wait! They've already built one... of me!  I cleaned up all of Bikini Bottom in one week. Mable Monica: Bless you, Squilliam Fancyson! Bless you! Squidward:  Hmph! I'll clean up Bikini Bottom in a day! Squilliam: Ooh! Let me help you out.  There! That should get you started. Tah-tah! Squidward: Squilliam thinks he's sooo amazing!  Phew!  Hmmm, I've gotta find some place to dump this litter.  Oh oh oh! Perfect!  Full! They're all full! How am I gonna hold all this... Taylor: Whoops! Mabel: Oh is it trash day? I thought it was Tuesday! Squidward: What? No! Mabel:  Hey everybody, it's trash day! Other Fish: Trash day?! Squidward: Hey! Hold on! Stop! I'm not the garbage man!  Help.",I'll help you Squidward!
Squidward: Why are you in a trash bag?,"I wanted to study the complete life cycle of a Krabby Patty.  Tch-tch-tch, all alone. Poor guy.  I could get rid of your trash, Squidward!"
Squidward: No thank you! I'll do it myself.,Please let me help!
Squidward: No.,Please?
Squidward: No.,Pretty please?
Squidward: No way!,Pretty please with candy sprinkles on top?
"Squidward:  Listen closely, I don't need your help! I would rather be beaten to a pulp! Taylor: That's him, mommy! That's the man who stole my wagon! Beat him to a pulp! Taylor's mother: Hmmm!","Hi, lady! Can I help you now?"
Squidward: Alright! Fine! You can help me.,"Yay!  Thank you, Squidward."
Squidward: Well... you gonna help me!?,"First, close your eyes!"
Squidward: Why?,C'mon!
Squidward: Fine!  Now what?,No peeking.
Squidward: Oh brother.,Okay! You can open your eyes now!
Squidward: Oh this is so stuuuuuu...  ...pid. It's gone! Where did you put the trash?,I put it in...
"Squidward: Know what? Don't care! The trash is gone. Thanks, SpongeBob. I hate you a little less now.","Squidward, that... that's a beautiful thing to say!"
"Squidward: Well, I don't know how you did it, but thank you for getting rid of all that trash. They'll have that statue of me built in no time!  My house! Officer John: Is this yours? Squidward: Yes. Officer John:  Tch-tch-tch, some people never learn.","I am angry? Squidward, why are you angry?"
Squidward:  SpongeBob.,Yes.
Squidward: What's this?,Your garbage.
Squidward: Where's my house?,On top of your garbage.  The dump was closed.  So I bought it here.
Squidward:  How?,Like this.  Do you wanna try?
"Squidward: Of all the garbage that comes out of your mouth, this is the least annoying.","Hey, Squidward..."
"Squidward: Wait! Wait! Zip it! I have an idea!  Here stand in this.  See ya sucker! Officer John: Are you SpongeBob SquarePants? Squidward: Neptune no! Officer John:  Uh-huh. Oh you got your kicks out of putting trash in other people's bins, eh? Squidward: They were gonna build a statue of me!","Oh, a statue, eh?  Hey, Squidward! Look!"
Squidward: What is that?!,Your very own statue!
Squidward:  Really?!  Garbage. I'm made of garbage.,You sure are!
"Squilliam:  Great job, SpongeBob, you even captured his smell. The scent of failure.  My glorious statue! Officer John: This is your statue? Squilliam: It was. Squidward: Ha! Thanks, SpongeBob!","Oh, I'm bored."
Patrick: Hmmm... Interesting. Me too! Let's go look for something to do in Old Man Squidward's shed!,Old Man Squidward's shed?!
Patrick:  Yyyeeeeeep! SpongeBob and Patrick:  Ooohhh!  What's that?! Patrick: What is it?,"I don't know, Patrick."
Squidward: Ahh. La-da-dee-la-da-dum-la-da-doo! SpongeBob and Patrick:,It's Old Man Squidward!
Patrick: Hide! Squidward:  Where's my trowel? Patrick:  SpongeBob?,"Yes, Patrick?"
Patrick: Is this a trowel?,"Yes, Patrick!"
"Squidward: Oh, here it is. SpongeBob and Patrick:","Don't hurt us, Squidward!"
Patrick: We're bored!,We just wanted to play with your...  ...whatever this thing is.
"Squidward: No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! You morons would probably...  You want to play with my lawnmower? SpongeBob and Patrick: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! Squidward: Hmmm...","Thanks for letting us mow your lawn, Squidward!  Ahhh! My patty flipping hand!"
"Squidward:  Knock yourselves out! The Flying Dutchman: Excuse me, Davy, I've got my first blind date in 400 years, and I've got to look good.  It's a little torn. Of course this was the shirt I was buried in. Ahhh, memories!  Bleah!  Okay, that one's a bit ripe. Stained. Too itchy! Hey, there she is! I've been saving this beauty for a special occasion!  Sssss! Looking good!  Who dares--  Who--  --disturb--  --The Flying--  --Dutchman?!  My beard! Hey!  Who dares disturb The Flying Dutchman?!",You're not The Flying Dutchman!
"Patrick: Yeah, The Flying Dutchman has a beard! The Flying Dutchman: I don't look like The Flying Dutchman, because...  You morons cut off my beard!",Ooh! It makes you look a thousand years younger!
The Flying Dutchman: I don't want to look younger! I hate youth! I'll probably get pimples again. Patrick: Your beard will just grow back. The Flying Dutchman: You know nothing about me facial hair. It'll take a thousand years for my beard to grow back!,"I'm sorry. But, we don't know what it's like to be ghosts."
"The Flying Dutchman: Well, now's the time you've learned. Until my beard grows back, I'm going to turn you two fools into ghosts. Prepare to be ghostified! Patrick: Ghostified? That's not even a real word. The Flying Dutchman:  Okay, you're having too much fun. . Patrick:  We're mermaids! The Flying Dutchman: You're ghosts! SpongeBob and Patrick: Ooh!",We're ghosts!  Yaayyy!
The Flying Dutchman: This isn't really working out the way I imagined. SpongeBob and Patrick:  Ooooooooohhhhhhhhh! Squuiiidwaaarrrd!,It's SpongeBob.
Patrick: And Patrick! We're ghoooooooosts!  Ooohhhh!,"We're going to haunt you! Foreeever!  Oooooohhh—!  Well, that killed the mood."
Squidward: I knew I shouldn't have lent them my lawnmower.,"Good night, Patrick. Being a ghost can sure tire ya out!"
"Patrick: Good night, ghost buddy!","That's odd. However shall I get in?  That's handy!  I am beat! Well, I don't have to take the stairs!  Ah. . Hey, Patrick. I didn't sleep so good last night."
Patrick: I didn't sleep at all. I can see through my eyelids.  My eyelids!,I'm late for work!
Patrick:  My eyelids...,"Don't worry, Mr. Krabs, I'm here!"
"Harold:  Ahh! Mermaid! Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, you're late! Why are you bright green, and what happened to your legs? Squidward: He's a ghost, Mr. Krabs. Mr. Krabs: A ghost, eh? Can you still cook Krabby Patties?","Can do, Mr. Krabs!"
Mr. Krabs: Then get your Captain's Quarters in the kitchen!,"Aye, aye, old living employeer!"
Mr. Krabs: Ewww.,"La la la la!  I can't cook Krabby Patties! I don't wanna be a ghost anymore, Patrick!"
Patrick: I don't either. I can't even eat anything! Food just goes right through me! Squidward and Mr. Krabs: Bleah! / Yuck! Patrick: Maybe the weird hairless man will change us back?,Yeah! Let's go see the Flying Dutchman!
"The Flying Dutchman: Well, at least I still have my personality. SpongeBob and Patrick:  Change us back! / Change us back! / We don't like being ghosts! / I don't want to be a ghost!  Change us back! / Change us back! Change us back! / We don't like to be a lie again!","Please, Mr. Dutchman, we can't take it! Constantly moaning and groaning!"
Patrick: Invisible to the world!,Living without a soul!
Patrick:  It's miserable!,How could anyone live like this?!
"The Flying Dutchman: Hmm, I guess you feel my pain. Well, I'll lift the curse from ya.",Hey! We're still ghosts!
"The Flying Dutchman: Yeah, yeah, yeah. The curse will wear off when my beard grows back.",But we want to be normal now!
"The Flying Dutchman: Well, I want to be on my date now! But, you knuckleheads loused that up, too!","We're still ghosts, because you can't go on your date?"
"Patrick: And you can't go on your date because you're ugly? Both: Makeover! The Flying Dutchman: Thanks, fellas! I love the new beard. Well, I'm off on my date. Don't wait up. Patrick: I don't get it... Narrator: Several months later...","Well, here we are several months later! I wonder how the Flying Dutchman's doing on his date!"
"The Flying Dutchman: I can't do it!  She wants to marry me! I ain't the marrying type!  Aaaahhh! Template:EpisodeTr/58b Narrator: Ah, the Krusty Krab. Home of the delicious Krabby Patty and its super-secret recipe. Mr. Krabs: Attention, Krusty Krab crew! All hands report immediately!","Fry cook SpongeBob reporting, sir!"
"Squidward:  What's all the yelling about? Mr. Krabs: Today is the 25th anniversary of the first time me arch-enemy Plankton ever tried to steal me secret Krabby Patty formula. Plankton: Can I have the secret formula? Mr. Krabs: No. Plankton: Okay. Mr. Krabs:  But he was persistent! Plankton:  Pretty please? Mr. Krabs: Uh-uh. Mr. Krabs: He used disguises!  Super science!  Civil disobedience!  And I always came out on top! Squidward:  Fascinating. Mr. Krabs: But thousands of failures have made him crafty, so keep your eyes open!  You'll never know what trick he'll use to steal me secret Krabby Patty formula. Robot:  What a quaint restaurant. I think I will sample their wares.","Ooh, how weird! A machine made to look like a customer."
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob. Why don't you go hose out the men's room?,"With pleasure, sir!"
"Mr. Krabs:  I'll take this one.  Welcome to the Krusty Krab, sir. May I help you? Robot: Yes, please. I'd like an order of chili coral bits. Mr. Krabs:  You sure you don't want a Krabby Patty? Robot: No, thank you.  Will this cover it? Mr. Krabs: Uh, sure.  Here you go. Robot:  Good day. Mr. Krabs: Hm. I was sure it was one of Plankton's tricks. Well, at least his money's good. Plankton: AHA! Mr. Krabs: Plankton! You knew I would never distrust a dollar! Plankton: That's right, Krabs. Now hand over the secret Krabby Patty formula! Mr. Krabs: Or what? Plankton: ...I don't know. I never thought I'd get this far. Mr. Krabs: Well, then, allow me to suggest your next move. Plankton: Curse you,  Kra-a-aillllllllllllllllllaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Mr. Krabs:  And now for the chaser. Plankton: You just wait, Krabs! Next time I'll... ah, who am I kidding? At least I can go home to a wife who understands. Karen: So? Tell me what happened. Plankton: I don't want to talk about it. Karen: Talking will make you feel better. Plankton: Leave me alone. Karen: That's your problem. You never let anyone in. Plankton the rock, Plankton the loner... Plankton: And she's off, ladies and gentlemen. Karen: You have to do everything yourself... Karen: ...and that's why everything you try ends up like this...  and like this...  and more recently, like this. Plankton:  I'm a failure! Karen: It's not that bad! You just require a little help. Maybe some henchmen... Plankton: Henchmen? Karen: Yes, what you need to do is surround yourself with muscular tough guys who will do whatever you say. Plankton: I like the sound of that. I'll canvas all the seediest lowbrow dives in town to find my minions. And I know just how to speak their language!  Felicitations, malefactors! I am endeavoring to misappropriate the formulary for the preparation of affordable comestibles! Who will join me!? Plankton: I don't get it. No matter what I do, I always end up being squashed by someone bigger than me. Karen: Oh, come on. I think you're overreacting.  Sorry. Plankton: That's okay. I'm no different than the millions of other Plankton in the sea.  The Plankton family has always been pushed around and stepped on. Wait! That's it! Acting alone, we're powerless, but united, the Plankton family could be a real pain in the fanny!  Krabs may think one Plankton is no problem, but let's see him take on two, or ten, or a hundred, or a thousand!  But why stop there? I'll gather every family member from every corner of the ocean. The entire Plankton family under one roof! Krabs won't stand a chance against the staggering intellect of a million super-smart criminal masterminds!  THEY'RE HERE! Welcome, brethren! Clem:  Hey, look, everybody! It's cousin Plankton! All: Yee-haw! Plankton: I've been away from home longer than I thought. Clem:  Well, howdy, cousin! Plankton: Uh... Clem: It's me, Clem. O' course, you remember Zeke, Rufus, Jeke, Billy Billy Bo-Illy Bonana Fanna Fo-Filly, Doug, Enos... ... Fletcher McGee, Rainchild, Zeke Junior... Plankton: Alright! I get it! ...I mean, uh, come inside. Make yourself at home.  I'd like you to meet my computer wife, Karen. Clem:  Golly, she sure is purdy, Sheldon. Karen: Sheldon?! Plankton:  Yes, that's my first name. Karen: Sheldon? Plankton:  Will you please-! Karen:  Sorry! Plankton: All right, as I was saying...  Okay, we all know Sheldon's a funny name. Karen:  Okay, okay. I'm done. No more. Plankton: Good. Ahem, to continue.  Only you can bring honor...  ...and dignity...  ...back to the Plankton name.  For years, it has been my goal to acquire the secret formula for...  AHA!  Okay, that's enough! Karen:  Sheldon! Ha Ha! Plankton: Bottom line: we invade the Krusty Krab so I can steal the secret formula. What do you think? Family Member 1: But what's in it for us? Plankton: Well, what do you want? Family Member 2: Gawrsh. Can I get a new string for my banjo? Family Member 3: And another boot to match this'n? Family Member 4:  And some more memory for my laptop! Clem: And what about root beer? All: Root beer!?!?! Plankton: Help me get the secret formula and you can have as much root beer as you can drink!  Victory, thy name is Plankton! Mr. Krabs: Well, Mr. Squidward, it's almost closing time, and we haven't seen eye or antennae of ol' Plankton for hours. Yes, sir, I think this time, he's finally given up for... Plankton:  Attention, Krusty Krab management! This is your better speaking. Mr. Krabs: What?! Plankton:  I have the restaurant surrounded. Give me the secret formula or I'll destroy the Krusty Krab! Mr. Krabs: Ah, you and what army, bug? Plankton: What army? What army?! Look around you, Krabs! Mr. Krabs: You planted grass? Plankton: Grass?!? Mr. Krabs: Uh-oh.  You'll never get away with it, Plankton. Plankton: You're right. The pipes are much too narrow. Besides, what I really want is the Krabby Patty formula. Mr. Krabs: Well, you might as well forget it. The formula is locked away in me safe, and I'll never give ya the combination. Plankton: Silence!  I think you'll find we're more than capable of figuring it out for ourselves. Oh, boys?  That's it, a little to the left... Mr. Krabs: Curse you, Plankton, and your ability to join together to form a working human ear! Plankton: Hot dog!  Yes. It's mine! The formula's mine. After all these years, it's finally mine!  Let it be known that on this day, I, Sheldon J. Plankton, single-handedly overthrew the Krusty Krab! Family:  Ahem. Plankton:  Eh, and, of course, I had a little help from the family. Mr. Krabs: Plankton, wait. You can't look at the formula. Plankton: Begging won't help. Mr. Krabs: I'm telling you, you won't be able to handle the truth. There are some things in this world that weren't meant for mortal eyes. Plankton: Eye. Mr. Krabs: Eye. Plankton: I don't care. Drum roll please!  Finally, after all these years, I'm about to find out what makes a Krabby Patty taste so good!  The secret recipe for one Krabby Patty is... a pinch of salt...! Mr. Krabs: Plankton! Wait! Plankton:  ...Three teaspoons of chopped onions...! Mr. Krabs: I'm warning ya...! Plankton:  ...A cup of love...! Mr. Krabs: Don't do it! Plankton: ...mixed together with the most important ingredient of all... four heaping pounds of freshly ground...!  ...Plankton?! Mr. Krabs: ...I warned ya. Plankton: Mr. Krabs: Hey. Why ain't you running? Clem: Well, I can't read! Mr. Krabs: Get out of here!","Hey, guys. Did I miss anything?"
"Squidward: Mr. Krabs, is this really the secret ingredient for the Krabby Patty? Mr. Krabs: Of course not!  And Plankton will probably figure that out and be back again to find out what the real formula is. But don't worry, boys, the formula's safe from harm. I got it hidden in me most secret hiding place, a place no one, not even Plankton, would ever figure out. Squidward: Let me guess. It's at home, under your mattress. Mr. Krabs:  Curse you, Squidwaaaaaaaaard!","Oh, boy! Jellyfishing. I can't wait! Can you, Patrick?  Patrick? Patrick?"
Patrick: Did you say something?,"Uh, I said...  Ow!"
Patrick: I'm not sure how to respond to that.,Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy!
"Barnacle Boy:  Hey! We're stuck here, remember? Mermaid Man: Why is that? Barnacle Boy: Because you forgot to fill up the boat mobile before we left. See?","Hey, heroes! Is there anything we can do?  That's a heavy piece of nothing...  So, is that it?"
"Barnacle Boy: Yes. Uh, thank you, boys. We don't usually do this, but in term for pushing the invisiboat up all those hills, there's something I'd like you to see. But you must promise to not touch anything. SpongeBob and Patrick: Okay!  Wow!","Oh, the magic claw from episode 1582! Man Ray's power glove!"
"Patrick: Ooh! A pair of binoculars. Mermaid Man: Yes, boys, this is our locker of memories. It contains... Uh... I can't remember. Barnacle Boy:  It contains all the memorabilia up from our super-human adventures. Patrick: Wow. Hey, SpongeBob, check it out!",The Dirty Bubble's bubble wand!
"Barnacle Boy: Correct! SpongeBob and Patrick: Barnacle Boy:  Scared, boys? SpongeBob and Patrick : Mmm-hmm. Barnacle Boy: Well, don't be. Mermaid Man: And as long as no one touches anything, there's nothing here to be scared of. SpongeBob : Understood. Barnacle Boy: And this is our time machine. This device allows us to transport into the future or past at a date or destination of our choosing. SpongeBob and Patrick : Ooh! Barnacle Boy: Unfortunately, the consequences of altering the order of history are so dangerous, we've chosen it to leave it alone, so you mustn’t touch... Patrick :  Hey, this snack machine took my quarter! I want my crunchy munchities! Barnacle Boy: No! Patrick : Stupid box!  You really gotta get that thing fixed. Barnacle Boy: You fool! You realize what you've done?! Patrick:  Well, I lost a quarter. SpongeBob, Patrick, Mermaid Man, and Barnacle Boy:","Oh, where are we?  It can't be! Bikini Bottom has at least 39 people living here!"
"Barnacle Boy: Maybe as you knew it, but this is a different Bikini Bottom of another time. Maybe if you've hadn't touched the time machine like we told you, Patrick, we wouldn't be in this mess! Hopefully, we hadn't changed anything with our presence. .",Oh! Everything looks so old-fashioned.
"Man Ray:  I'm ready to rule the world and its riches! With this weapon, nothing can stop me! Young Mermaid Man: That's what you think. Man Ray:  Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy?! Young Mermaid Man: Sorry, Man Ray. But my stalwart companion Barnacle Boy and I beg to differ with you. Young Barnacle Boy: You've tangled with the wrong end of the fishhook of justice, Man Ray. Young Mermaid Man: Now prepare for a heaping helping of quick drying tartar sauce. Mermaid Man: Wow, our bodies were so tight. Barnacle Boy: What went wrong? Young Barnacle Boy:  Jumpin' jellyfish, Mermaid Man, what happened to the tartar sauce? Patrick:  Good thing that was around. I was starving. Young Mermaid Man: Curious. Could I have forgotten to refill it? Man Ray: Patrick: This is creeping me out! SpongeBob 1: Patrick, what about Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy? Patrick: I don't got time for that! Mermaid Man: Where are you going, boys? Patrick:  I just want to go home! Barnacle Boy: When are we gonna have those two re-classified as villains? Mermaid Man: They left us here! What are we going to do? Eh, I'm sure it'll all work out. Young Mermaid Man: Don't worry, Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy are always here to help the elderly. There's something familiar about these two, Barnacle Boy. I just can't put my flipper on it. Young Barnacle Boy: Hey, neat hat! Barnacle Boy: Thanks, I... uh... Young Mermaid Man: Let’s get these poor defenseless seniors out of harm's way. SpongeBob and Patrick: Patrick: Well, that's more like it. Back in good old present day Bikini Bottom.","Yes, Patrick, we're all born in our old place in time. Hello, fellow citizen.  Hello, Squilliam."
Squilliam: Man Ray is great.,Yeah.  Must be taking care of his community service obligations.
Patrick:  That'll teach him to jaywalk.,"Say, uh, Patrick, do you notice anything different about our fair city?"
"Patrick: Sorry, I couldn't hear you over the clatter of prison chains.","I said, is there something odd about Bikini Bottom since we got back?"
Patrick: No. But yes! Just look at the giant medicine billboard!  It's missing a bolt on the bottom right corner!,"Even worse than that, Patrick. The police got new uniforms!"
"Patrick: Oh, no! What did they do with those old ones?!","And yikes! What happened to the Krusty Krab?!  The designated area where you are permitted by Man Ray, your ruler, to obtain sandwiches using Man Ray dollars? Do you see the under-lying tragedy in all this?"
Patrick: I’m all out of Man Ray dollars?,"No, Patrick. It means we somehow changed the course of history when we went to the past. And now, in this reality, Man Ray is ruler. Oh, we got to do something."
Patrick: But what?,What any self-respecting citizen of the free world would do in a time of crisis. See if I still have a job!
"Man Ray: Hey, you’re not eating fast enough!","Excuse me, Squidw..."
Barnacle Boy: Yes?,Barnacle Boy? What are you doing here?
Barnacle Boy: Just getting stuck in a wasted life. Mermaid Man:  Order up!,"Mermaid Man! He's wearing a hairnet!  What happened? Why are the two greatest heroes ever stuck in this greasy spoon, not combating the evils of Man Ray?"
"Mermaid Man: I lost the desire and the physique to fight long ago, kid. Flipping patties is so much easier on the joints when you're my age.","What about the younger Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy? Surely, they refused to surrender without a fight."
"Mermaid Man: You got spaghetti for brains, kid? We are the younger ones. The older ones...  Bless their souls... have been immortalized in this very restaurant.",I am so sorry for your loss of... yourself.
"Barnacle Boy: I hate to break up the memorial service, but we're out of tartar sauce out here. Mermaid Man: Tartar sauce?! The topping that destroyed life as we knew it! If only my tartar sauce attack hadn't failed that day, we wouldn't be living in this wasteland! We're already out? Patrick: Yep. Chewy bits... Mermaid Man: I knew I recognize you from somewhere, you were there. And you ate that tartar sauce on that day! Do you realize what you’ve done?!","Sorry, Mermaid Man. We didn't mean to destroy your lives and everything you held dear. What do we say to try to make things right? With your help, of course."
"Mermaid Man: I'm not teaming up with you to do jack diddly squat! Besides, Man Ray had me by the neck! Oh, e-evil!",Does that mean the defeat was so traumatic that it has given Man Ray a stranglehold on your psyche?
"Mermaid Man : Barnacles, no! It means he put this electro-collar on me that won't allow me to leave the restaurant!",Oh. Let's get the nasty thing off of you.
Mermaid Man: Haven't you two idiots done enough damage?,"I can't get a good grip on it! I must need a better angle. Hold on. Sorry, sorry. Hey, Patrick, can you give me a hand here?"
Mermaid Man: Keep away from me!,Ta-daaa! You're free! Can we coax you and Barnacle Boy out of retirement to save the your universe?
"Mermaid Man: I suppose you’ve proven your medal, kid. But I'll have my eye on you two. Now let's pop that Dirty Bubble!","Actually, we're fighting Man Ray."
"Mermaid Man: Oh. Well, in that case, let the lighthouse of justice shine on Ray Man! SpongeBob 1: Okay, I suppose that's close enough. Back to the past, gents, just stop you from eating the tartar sauce again for the first time. Hmm. The First SpongeBob, Patrick, Mermaid Man, and Barnacle Boy: Man Ray:  I am ready to rule the world and its riches! Young Mermaid Man: Not so fast, Man Ray! Young Barnacle Boy: We've got a little surprise for you. Second Old Mermaid Man:  Keep your tongue out of the tartar sauce! Mermaid Man: Impostors! Second Old Mermaid Man: Who are you calling impostor, impostor? I must prevent our tartar sauce from being eaten by that fool! Mermaid Man: If I want to get near my tartar sauce I gotta to go through me first! Second Old Mermaid Man: I'm gonna make me eat those words! Mermaid Man: Bring it.  Take this!  I’ll never let you win. Second Old Mermaid Man: Oh, yes, I will. Young Mermaid Man: What do you make of this, Barnacle Boy? Young Barnacle Boy: Tangled timeline, Mermaid Man. I- Man Ray:  You old coots provided me the perfect distraction. Now prepare to be disappeared! Young Mermaid Man: Sounds good on paper, you purveyor of pure evil, but, fortunately, we all know what happens to paper underwater. Barnacle Boy, the tartar sauce. Patrick 2: Wow! I've never eaten that much tartar sauce. Patrick 1: Yes, you have. Patrick 2: Well, it sure ain't sittin' right. Man Ray:  Foolish mools. Once again, your bufoonery has given me victory!  Oh, I'm going to savor this. It's not every day I get to defeat Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy three times over! SpongeBob 2:  Patrick, don’t eat the tartar sauce! Man Ray: You’re too late! Your fat friend beat you to it. Now, prepare to taste laser!  So how... SpongeBob 4:  I told you we had to go back farther! Man Ray: Uh... Third Mermaid Man: Up, up, and away! SpongeBob 5:  Now, Patrick! Man Ray: I can't get my head around this. Where are they all coming from?  Another machine? Second Man Ray:  I took care of your blasted time machine! Man Ray: Uh! I got to sit down and think this through. Young Mermaid Man:  Gotta! You've got plenty of time for thinking in the stony lonesome. Man Ray: I'm sorry, did you say something? I'm still trying to comprehend what just happened here. Young Mermaid Man: It's pretty simple, really. You were defeated by a convoy of continuum-cruising crime stoppers. Thank you, SpongeBob and Patrick. Four SpongeBobs and Two Patricks: You're welcome! SpongeBob 6 and Patrick 6 :  Oh, hi there! Hello! Hello! Hello! One Other SpongeBob: We just wanted to come back and revisit the day that evil was defeated forever. SpongeBob 7:  Hey, how you doing? Seventh Patrick: We’re here. Eighth and Ninth SpongeBobs and Patricks:  Oh, hi there! How you doing? Tenth SpongeBob and Patrick: Hello! Hello! Last SpongeBob and Patrick:  Oh hi there!  Hello! Hello! Karen: What do I owe the excessive volume of this giggling? Plankton: You may thank my new and original idea, darling.  Free samples! Karen: New and original, my exhaust fan. Plankton: Okay, so I didn't invent the concept, but I have improved upon it by removing the only obstacle to chum's success! Karen: You mean the smell?   Smell. Plankton: No. I mean getting the public to try some! Once everyone gets a taste of my delicious chum, they will tear this place apart to get some. Plus it's free, and who can resist free!  Step right up for your free samples of delicious chum! Nat: Hey, what did he just say it was? Plankton: I just said they're free! Nat: Oh... I thought he said freaks. In that case...  So glad I actually left my house today. Plankton: That's the spirit, people. Step on up, but please take your time and be orderly. I wanna savor this whole putting Krabs out of business. Business. Sally: What is it? Shubie: Oh, who cares silly-big-milly? It's free! Sally: Oh, it's going to be so good cause it's free! Plankton: Eat up.  I have no idea that chum was this rotten. I better not be here when all this agony turns to anger. Nat: Hey, he's making a run for it! We can't let him get away with this! Let's get up and...  get him. Patrick: Free samples.  Yum! Frank: Hey, you!, I know you're in there! Plankton: It's not fair! If Krabs gave away free samples he wouldn't get this treatment! Karen: If Krabs gave away free samples, he probably won't poison people thus tarnishing the good name of his restaurant. Plankton: Yeah, I suppose you right, Karen.  Free Krabby Patties! Step up, step up, you'll never get this chance again, folks! Harold: Free Krabby Patties?! Nat: Hey, what's all the hubble? Nazz: Oh, didn't ya hear? Someone's giving away free Krabby Patties! Plankton: That's it. Frank: Hey, wait a minute. Aren't you the same guy who was giving away those rotten chum samples before? Plankton:  Oh, that wasn't me that was... uh... my... brother-in-law, yeah, er, Flankton. Lifeguard: Oh, okay. Plankton: Krabby Patties, anyone?","I'm off to work, off to work, getting ready for flipping.  Those customers can't get enough Krabby Patties. Settle down folks: I'm here; I shall have your Krabby Patties before you shortly."
Nat: You! Frank: You made those awful Krabby Patties what made my eyeballs fall out!,Mr. Krabs!
Mr. Krabs: Over here boy.,What is going on out there?
Mr. Krabs: The whole town has turned against me! And I have no idea why.  Because the Krabby Patty is terrible.  Krabby Patty? Terrible? How do those words even go together?,"I don't know, but we have do something to turn this situation around."
"Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, you're right. We have to do everything in our power to bring those customers back. We'll triple the prices.","Mr. Krabs, if you want to get customers in here, shouldn't we lower the prices?"
Mr. Krabs: Fine.  How about that?  I'm ruined!,"Mr. Krabs, if you want your customers back, we're gonna need to take more extreme measures."
Mr. Krabs: I'm all ears.,We simply give Krabby Patties away for fr-
"Mr. Krabs: Don't you say it, boy!","It's the only way, Mr. Krabs.  Alright, sir, it's time."
Mr. Krabs: Time? But it's too soon.  I'm not ready to let them go free.,But you said to go ahead with the plan no matter how hard you fight me.
Mr. Krabs: I don't remember saying anything like that.,I do.  Free Krabby Patties! Get your totally and completely free upcharge Krabby Patties!
Mr. Krabs: No!,"It's for your own good, Eugene. Free Krabby Patties, come and get your free Krabby Patties!"
"Mr. Krabs: Whew, uh, for a second. I thought we have to give away a ton of Krabby Patties, but it looks like free ain't even enough to jump start me business. Wait, free ain't even enough? Me business is doomed! Plankton: I can't really believe how well this is turning out for me today!","Hmm, looks, it's time to pull out the big guns.  No one can resist the sweet sounds of a calliope."
"Shubie: Hey look, Billy, a calliope.","Squidward, here's your cup like we rehearsed."
Squidward: I can't feel my legs.,"Here let me help you, Squidward."
"Baby Billy: Look, mama, a monkey!  Dance, monkey, dance! Dance, monkey! Squidward: I quit!","Wait, Squidward, don't leave! We can't give up yet!"
"Plankton: Sweet and delicious victory, you are mine!","Don't worry, Mr. Krabs, we'll fix this."
"Mr. Krabs: Not this time boy, it's all over for the good old Krusty Krab, it's probably best if you start looking forward for a new job, boy, maybe in the different way like.",New... Different...  That's it!
"Mr. Krabs: Well, that was better than I expected. Well only one more thing left to do now. I have to leave back with me ma. Hopefully she kept me posters in me room. Narrator: Five minutes later.","Krabby Patties, brand new Krabby Patty recipe, all new, all different, all deliciousness, try them for free!"
"Nazz: You can't be serious. Frank: I'm so hungry, I don't care, I gotta eat something. Nazz: No! Wait! Nat: Let him go, it's too late.",All new free Krabby Patties!
"Frank: Hey, buddy, I'll try one, what do I got to lose.  Dear Neptune Gill Sacks, this is the best thing I every put in my mouth! Yay! Nazz: Did he just say it was good? Frank: Woohoo! Nat: Wow, Frank never dances, it must be good! Henry-Bart: I'm getting something this amazing for free! How much will this buy? Frank: Yum yum! Yum yum yum yum! Yum yum!  Hey, patty boy, take my wallet, I gotta have more! Nat and Nazz: Now that's what I'm talking about! Nat: Here's our life savings! Just give us more Krabby Patties! Plankton: Don't worry, Karen, I'll be here at lunch time. My mission here is accomplished.  What the...?!",It's working!
"Plankton: No, wait! What's going on? You hate Krabby Patties remember?  Uh-oh.","We did it, Mr. Krabs! We saved the Krusty Krab! All I did was sell the old Krabby Patties, and call them new!"
"Mr. Krabs: Do you mind, I'm trying to make a money angel here.","Oh, money angels, can I make one?"
"Mr. Krabs: Sure thing, SpongeBob. Hop in!  Did you hear what?",Hear what?
Mr. Krabs: Good point.,"So, I was all ready to drain the fries, but I cooked the fries slightly too long! So..."
Squidward: SpongeBob?,"So, here's where the bizarre twist comes in."
Squidward: SpongeBob?,They weren't overcooked at all!
"Squidward: SpongeBob, look!","Wow, what happened to the Krusty Krab?"
Mr. Krabs: Good morning! The Krusty Towers is now opened for business!,"Why did you build a hotel, Mr. Krabs?"
"Mr. Krabs: I'm glad you asked, son. Remember when I went to that fast food convention and stayed in that fancy hotel? I had a beautiful room. The employees were so friendly. They catered to me every whim, no matter how demeaning it was. Because they lived by a code. And that code was engraved in fine gold above the grand fireplace: We shall never deny a guest even the most ridiculous request. Everything was perfect until I got the bill! They charged me for everything. $25 for a hamburger!  If they can charge that much for a lousy burger, imagine how much I could charge for a lousy Krabby Patty! And thus, the Krusty Towers was born. Squidward: Why would anyone stay in a hotel in Bikini Bottom? It's in the middle of scenic nowhere! There's nothing to do but get stung by jellyfish.  See?!",Ooh!
"Mr. Krabs: Come inside.  Isn't it beautiful? Squidward: Where are all the new hotel employees? Mr. Krabs: My first hotel guest! Watch me reel him in.  Welcome to the Krusty Towers, where our motto is We shall never deny a guest even the most ridiculous request. Dave: Oh, that's great. I'd like a double Krabby Patty with no onions and extra pickles. Mr. Krabs: If you want a Krabby Patty, you'll have to rent a room and order room service. Dave:  Ooh, I've only got an hour for lunch. Squidward: Boy, you reeled that one in like a pro. Mr. Krabs: Okay, Squidward, you man the front desk. Patrick: I'd like a Krabby Patty, please. Squidward: This is a hotel now. If you want a Krabby Patty, you'll have to get a room and order room service. Patrick: Okay, one Krabby Patty and one room with cheese. Oh, and can I get cheese on the Krabby Patty, too? Squidward: Patrick, you only live 400 yards away. Why do you want to check into a hotel? Patrick: Sometimes I just need to get away from it all.  Wow, this hotel has everything! Squidward:  Gimme that! Now sign the register. Patrick: I didn't know there would be a test. I didn't study! Squidward: Patrick, all you have to do is write your name. Patrick: Oh, okay.  Do you mind?!  Don't look!  Done! Squidward: Close enough. Here's your room key. Patrick: I'll need some help with my bags. Squidward: How can you have bags?! You just found out this is a hotel! Patrick: This is a hotel? Squidward:  SpongeBob!","Yes, Squidward?"
"Squidward: Take Patrick and his bags to his room. Patrick: What about my Krabby Patty? Squidward: And bring him a Krabby Patty. Mr. Krabs: Squidward, you can take Patrick's bags up to his room. SpongeBob, you go make the Krabby Patty. Squidward: Oh, Mr Krabs! Mr. Krabs: What's the matter? Afraid of a little manual labor?  I'm Squidward and I have to work for a living. Boo hoo hoo hoo hoo. Squidward: Fine. Let's go, Patrick. Mr. Krabs:  This elevator is for guests only. Take the employee elevator. Squidward: What's in these bags, rocks?  Hey, these are rocks! Why is your suitcase full of rocks? Patrick: I don't tell you how to live your life! Squidward: Well, here's your room. Patrick: Wow. Squidward: Enjoy your stay. Patrick: Squidward, wait!  Keep up the good work and there'll be more where that came from.","Your Krabby Patty, sir.  Hey, Squidward, cool rock."
"Patrick: Hold on a second, SpongeBob.  Here you are, my good man.","Why, thank you, Patrick!"
"Patrick: There's plenty more where that came from, my good friend  Squidward! Squidward: What now?! Patrick: I don't like crusts on my sandwich! Squidward: It's a bun; it's all crust! How am I suppose to cut the crust off a bun? Patrick: Peel it. Squidward:  Happy?",Room service! Here's the fifty Krabby Patties you ordered.
"Patrick: Could you do one more thing for me? Squidward: Why don't you ask SpongeBob? Patrick: Good idea, Squidward!","How may I serve you, sir?"
Patrick: I need you to eat these Krabby Patties with me.,"Oh, yes, sir!"
"Mr. Krabs: Hold on. Squidward! Patrick needs your help. Squidward: What?! Why didn't he ask me before I walked all the way downstairs? Mr. Krabs: He said he didn't want to bother you, but he got over it.","Thanks, Squidward!"
"Squidward: Mr. Krabs, this is ridiculous! Patrick's being completely unreasonable! Mr. Krabs: He can be as unreasonable as he wants! The plaque, Squidward, the plaque! Squidward: But, Mr. Krabs... Mr. Krabs: Deny no guests!  Why, hello, Patrick. You need Squidward to come up right away? He'll be right there. Squidward:  A bubble bath?! Why would I give you a bubble bath?! Patrick: Well, because Mr. Krabs said you would! Well, be sure to make my back extra shiny clean. Squidward: That's it! I've had enough! Patrick: Squidward, wait! The toilet's backed up again! Mr. Krabs:  Hey! Hey, you can't take that elevator! You're an employee! Squidward: Not anymore. I quit. Mr. Krabs: Quit? You can't quit.  Welcome to the Krusty Towers... Squidward?! Squidward: One room, please. On the top floor. Mr. Krabs: What do you think you're doing? Squidward: I need a vacation. I'm overworked. And what better place to relax than Krusty Towers? Where we shall never deny a guest even the most ridiculous request. Mr. Krabs: I don't have to rent you a room! Squidward: I've got cash. Mr. Krabs: Oh... here's your room key. Squidward: SpongeBob, carry my things to my room.","Aye aye, guest sir."
"Squidward:  And you can carry me to my room. Mr. Krabs: And why in tarnation would I do that? You got four legs that aren't broken. Squidward: The plaque.  Too bad we couldn't take the elevator, but it is for guests only, and you are an employee.","Your room, sir."
"Squidward: And I'd like to order room service. I'd like a Krabby Patty with cheese, toenail clippings, and nose hair. Mr. Krabs:  You've got to be kidding me! Squidward: And I want it here in five seconds.","Yes, sir!  Here you are, sir."
"Mr. Krabs: Well, you got your stinky sandwich. Now eat it. Squidward: Oh, I'm not going to eat this. You are. Mr. Krabs: What?! You're out of your mind if you think I'm going to eat that!","Psst, that's not really a Krabby Patty with cheese, toenails, and nose hair."
"Mr. Krabs:  Now I get ya, boy. Alright, Squidward.  SpongeBob!","Sorry, Mr. Krabs! We were all out of cheese."
"Patrick:  Hooray! Mr. Krabs:  What is it, Squidward? Squidward: Send up a dozen cookies just like mother used to make. Mr. Krabs:  Here's your homemade cookies. Squidward:  These don't taste anything like mom used to make! Mr. Krabs: Well, how did your mother make 'em? Squidward: How should I know?! Ask my mother! Mrs. Tentacles:  Hello? Mr. Krabs:  SpongeBob!","No good, Mr. Krabs."
"Mrs. Tentacles: Allow me, boy. Mr. Krabs: Great! Now that me laundry's in the trunk...",There's room for you to sit up front!
"Mrs. Tentacles: Let's go bake some cookies, boys. SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs: Hooray! Mr. Krabs:  Well? Squidward: I'm impressed! These are just like mother used to make! I just wish mom was a better cook. Mr. Krabs: So you're all taken care of? Squidward: Hm, just one teensy tiny problem. This room is hideous. Redesign it. Neptune the 14th would be nice. Mr. Krabs: What? Squidward: We shall never deny a guest even the most ridiculous request.  Perfect! Mr. Krabs: This room is exactly the same as when we started! Squidward: Nothing like getting back to the basics. Mr. Krabs: Let's get out of here, SpongeBob! Squidward: Oh, before you leave, I want to go swimming. Mr. Krabs: The pool's out back! Squidward: Ha ha, are you crazy? I'm not going outside to swim.  Come on in, the water's fine. Mr. Krabs: Anything else stupid and unreasonable that you want? Squidward: Nope, that's it. Mr. Krabs: You don't need me to chew your food for ya? Or make you a back scratcher out of me own spine? Or maybe extinguish the sun so the light don't get in your eyes?! Squidward: No, I'm good.","Me, too."
"Patrick: Wow, an indoor pool?! Well, this place is fancy!  Cannonball! Mr. Krabs:  Oh, that hotel was a bad idea from the start. Patrick: That was a hotel? Nurse: Your bill, sir. Mr. Krabs: $15,000?! Squidward: You're not going to have a heart attack, are you? Mr. Krabs: Not at these prices! Forget hotels. This hospital rack is where the money is! Patrick: This is a hospital? Mr. Krabs: Pack your bags, boys! You're going to medical school! SpongeBob & Patrick: Hooray! Squidward:  Oh, boy. Fred: You know that child we were planning on having? Fred and his wife: Let's forget it. Karen: SpongeBob, I could hear you caterwauling a mile away.","Aw, thanks,  and thanks for watching my sea chimps while I'm at work."
Karen: They're already in an aquarium. Why don't you just leave 'em at home?,I think Gary might be trying to eat them. I found saliva on the glass.
Karen: So what do I need to do for them?,"Nothing! They'll take care of themselves. Oh!  Hm!  Well, I got to go. Here's my breeze.  Whoa-ow-ow-ow!}"
"Mr. Krabs: When will you ever learn that a tiny pipsqueak like you will never, ever take over anything?  What do you call this gizmo you made anyway? Plankton:  The Takeover-er-er. Mr. Krabs:  That's just stupid.",Morning.
"Plankton: Morning… Mr. Krabs: And don't forget your rube goldfish device!  There we go. Plankton: Honey, I'm home.  What's this stupid thing? Karen: Those are SpongeBob's sea chimps. You don't need to bother with them. I'm going back to my shows now.  Oh, my! Plankton: Hmm. Huh? Sea chimps, huh?  Wait a minute. Maybe I've been going about this world conquest thing all wrong. Maybe I should start small and work my way up! Plankton: This shrink belt will allow me to walk among those little monkeys.  Alley-oop! Plankton: Too small, too small!  Huh? Plankton:  Hey, why are you idiots so short?  You afraid of me? You gonna cry? Plankton: Listen here, you pint-sized twerps. I'm taking over your monkey town, see?  Do you little cretins have a king or a queen or something? Sea chimp king: Um, I am the king. Plankton: Yeah? Well, now I'm the king! Sea chimp king: Wow!  Thank you, sir! I mean, sire.  I'm not the king! I'm not the king! I'm not the king! I'm not the king-ing-ing! Plankton: Why was that so easy? It's so easy because I'm so big and smart!  That's why!  Well, what are you all waiting for? Follow your leader! Fall! Plankton: That's right, bring me all your valuables.  What are those? Dentures? Hand them over.  Now that's more like it. I want to be the only one in town with stuff!  I'm tired of walking. Carry me! Sea chimp child: Father! Plankton:  Right in the head! You guys are idiots. I'm the smart one. I've got the best ideas. Hey, you! Here's a grape-flavored idea!  Hi-yah!  Okay, that's enough. I'm bored. Plankton: Yeah!  I rule you, I rule you, I rule you. I rule you, you, you, and you.  Ow!  Ta-da! Piggyback for the king! Let's see how fast this old lady can go.  Hi-yah! Plankton: Yee-haw! Today, sea chimps, tomorrow, the world!  I rule you, I rule you,  and I...rule...you... Plankton: Hey, what is this? Where am I? Okay, ha-ha. Very humorous. Having a bit of fun with the king,  I get it. I think my armpits are dry now. You can cut me down.  I demand you obey your king! Let's go! Come on, you little bozos! Get me down!  Guys? My people? Loyal subjects?  Buddies? Sea chimp king: Oh! Hello! Remember me? You took my crown and became the new king? I just wanted to say thanks again. Oh, and, uh, have a nice sacrifice! Plankton: Sacrifice? Sea chimps: Plankton: Tongue? That's a weird request. But as king I'll be benevolent.  Gah! What in Neptune's navel?! Plankton:  Hey! Whoa!  Yuck! Time to un-shrink!  Can't...reach...I take it back. I don't want to be king! Sea chimp king: Nuh-uh-uh! No takee-backsees. Sea chimps: Aww! Plankton: What do you mean, aww? Don't aww! Patrick: Ow!  That hurt!  Now that snack's got a bite. Sea chimp king: Oh, don't worry, sire! I will cut you loose from the sacrifice. Plankton: Hey, stop! Nice old chimp king. Don't do that! Plankton: Huh? How did you get over there?  Ahh! Sea chimp king:  Hey, you're welcome! Plankton: Hey, dumbbell!  Take this end of the belt and wrap it around all the other falling numbskulls and bring it back to me!  It stretches. Go!  You morons should cushion my fall nicely.","Oh, oh, oh! Patrick! It was you trying to eat my sea chimps the whole time."
Patrick: I can't believe you'd accuse me of-of-of such a delicious thing!,I hear 'em in there.
"Sea chimp king:  Hey, King, what's this dialy-doodle-mojig on your belt do? Plankton:  No, don't touch that! Patrick: Whoa-oh-oh-oh!  I take it back. They weren't that delicious. Sea chimp king: Whoa! Hey, guys, come on out! There's more room out here. Plankton:  Partially digested antennae.","Welcome, sea chimps. I'm SpongeBob, your owner."
"Sea chimp king: Forget it, man. We're through with owners, and kings, and aquariums. Whoa! Now that looks like a swell place to live. Karen:  Plankton! Abandon bucket! Plankton: Well, that's a write off.","Bye, sea chimps! Have a good flight! It was so nice of you to help relocate the sea chimps, Plankton. You rule!"
"Plankton: Not today, SpongeBob. Not today.  But...someday! Harold:  Ah. Nat Peterson: Make it stop! Ah! Mr. Krabs: Oh.  Mister Squidward! Quit that calamitous cacophony! You're driving me customers batty! Squidward:  Well, I'm sorry you rubes can't enjoy jazz. I am practicing for a very important open mic night tonight. Mr. Krabs: Well, practice somewhere else! This here's a jazz-free zone! Squidward:  Fine! I'll take my music to the other people then. Mr. Krabs:  And if I see that clarinet again, it'll be going into the woodwind chipper! You hear me? Bubble Bass: As you can see, this is the first generation Talking Suburban Dad figurine, with realistic burger-flipping motion. Suburban Dad Toy: Not right now, Billy. Daddy's had a long day. Bubble Bass' friends: Ooh. Bubble Bass: Suburban Dad! No!  You?  You—will remove that subpar woodwind from the premises, ere I smash its reed! Squidward: Can't practice anywhere in this town.  Bunch of tasteless clowns! Patrick:  Smashy, smashy! Bang, bang! Sma–oh!  Ow! What is that noise?  Oh, no. Squidward's being attacked by that pointy screeching monster. Don't worry, Squidward! I'll save you! Squidward:  What are you–  Hm? Uh? Hm?  Oh! Patrick: You're welcome! Squidward:  It's time for our pre-performance nap. Tonight, we change lives with our music. French Narrator: One nap later... Squidward:  Are you ready, my dear? We've got the– Squidward:  And that's how it began. My life smashed to bits. My living room covered in broken dreams. Without my clarinet, the world was a drab and colorless place.  And that's when I saw him, my first suspect.  When it comes to paying the stupid bill, SpongeBob always tipped 20%.  He had to be involved.  SpongeBob, what have you done with my clarinet?","Ooh, Squidward, you're so hard-boiled. Are you playing a game? Oh, oh, can I play?"
Squidward: I know you stole my clarinet! Tell me  where!  It!  Is!,"I  Don't!  Know!  It couldn't have been me, Squidward. I have an alibi. I was at Grandma's house all day and I have the kissy marks to prove it,  see? There's room for one more."
Squidward:  His alibi was solid. Only a family member could stomach putting their lips on this fool.,"You know, we have lots of friends. Maybe they could help us find your clarinet."
Squidward: I don't have friends. I have suspects.,"Oh, Squidward, don't you know a suspect is just a friend you haven't cleared of charges yet?  So... can I help you solve your case? Please, please, please?"
Squidward: Try not to get in the way.,"Yeah! It's a play-date! I mean...  All right, I'll partner up with you this time.  Huh?"
"Squidward:  My...  partner and I decided to check out my next suspect, the owner of a local greasy spoon. I figured a little Good cop, bad cop would get his jaw flapping so I–","Oh! Can I be the bad cop? Please, please, can I, please?"
"Squidward:  Yes, if you get out of my hard-boiled narration!",Sorry. Huh?
"Mr. Krabs: What the– Squidward: Hey, Mister Krabs, how are you doing? Can I get you some tea? Do you mind if I ask you a few questions?  Now, where were you earlier–","You seem hungry, dear. Home-cooked meal?"
"Squidward: What are you doing, SpongeBob?  Manicure? Mr. Krabs: Huh?",Makeover?
Squidward: Warm blanket?,New shoes?
Squidward: Hey! Mr. Krabs:  Enough!,"Hey, check out the dame."
Mr. Krabs: What in the salty seven seas are you two doing?!,"Oh, uh, we're playing Good cop, good cop. Sorry, Squidward, I don't know how to be the bad cop!"
"Squidward:  We're looking for my clarinet, Eugene. I know you broke into my house this afternoon! I know you stole it! Now fess up! Mr. Krabs: This afternoon? Well, I was–I've been here all day, counting me money! Just look at me butt groove!",Good contours.  And still warm. Story checks out.
"Squidward: All right, Mr. Krabs, we'll mosey along this time.  Come on, SpongeBob.","Mm, hmm."
"Mr. Krabs: Boys, if you two do find that clarinet, could you bring it to me? So I can smash it to pieces! Squidward:  We pulled up to the local dweeb market, where I hoped to find my next suspect: maven of all things moronic, Bubble Bass. The sign said closed, but I could hear their nerdy murmuring inside. Bubble Bass: And then, from the depths of the barbeque, comes the ferocious, fire-breathing  Dad! Squidward:  Bubble Bass!  Ow! Bubble Bass: Huh?","Squidward, wait!  Let him handle this."
"Suburban Dad:  Take that! And that!  What?  All right. You've got me cornered. But I won't give up without a fight! Mermaid Man: I was hoping you'd say that. Squidward:  It was a real knockdown, drag-out fight. Or it would've been, if it hadn't been just two sad adults playing with toys. Bubble Bass: Wait. Wait! Roll the dice. Did his punch land? Bubble Bass' friend:  It's a hit! Suburban Dad: Huh? Oh.",Where were you this afternoon? Where's Squidward's clarinet?
"Bubble Bass: I don't know what you're talking about. I was here all day. I swear it! Suburban Dad: Billy, don't make me turn this boat around. Bubble Bass: No! I still could have passed you off as near mint! Bubble Bass' friends:  Aww. So, sorry, man.",I am so sorry for your loss.
"Squidward: I'm not. Come on, SpongeBob, let's go. This is a dead end. Squidward:  Well, there's only one more person on my list of suspects.",Patrick Star?
"Squidward: Um, yeah, how'd you know? Patrick: Hey, guys! Squidward: Well, the criminal returns to the scene of the crime. Spill the beans, Jack! Where's my clarinet? Patrick: I don't know who Jack is! But I would like some beans! Squidward: Let me lay it out for you, Chucko. When I took my nap today, you broke in through the window, smashed my living room, got that goo you're eating all over and stole my clarinet! Patrick: Oh, this isn't goo. It's jelly! The good stuff too, from real jellyfish.",Real jellyfish jelly? You can only find that in one place. That means our thief...
Squidward: Must have been at Jellyfish Fields! Let's go!,"Right behind you, pal.  Huh?  Whoa!"
"Squidward:  When we arrived at Jellyfish Fields, I could already hear my clarinet's dulcet tones. Squidward: My baby!  Ha!","Oh! So it was the jellyfish that took your clarinet. But from the sound of it, I'd say they've learned that crime doesn't play! Look, Squidward. The jellyfish are fans of your music."
Patrick: We should solve another mystery now.,"Yeah, uh, how about the mystery of where all my coins went?  Huh?"
Patrick: Solved! Jellyfish:  Thank you.,"Squidward, yeah! Yeah, Squidward!"
"Squidward:  And that's how it ended. Clarinet returned. Case closed. Another mystery solved by: Squidward Tentacles, Jazz Detective. Old Man Walker: Oh! Pardon me, young lady.  What a fox. Plankton:  Ooh!  You're all mine you sweet Krabby Patty. Ooh hoo-hoo-hoo! Ah ha ha ha ha ha!  Initiating launch sequence.  Krabby Patty, here I come! Old Man Walker:  Eh, eh... I hope I don't miss again. Plankton: Reunited, and it's gonna feel so good!  D'oh! Mr. Krabs:  Ooh, ooh, ooh, sweet wampum.  Huh! Whazzat?  Squidward, where are you? Shield me with your forehead!  So, it was a just another failed Krabby Patty theft attempt by my  arch competitor, Plankton!  For a second there, I mistook you for a threat. But you're just a dirty little man.  So long, shrimp! Plankton:  Curse you, Mr. Kraaaaaabs!  Ow!  Ouch! Karen: So, typical day of failure, I see, huh, darling? Plankton: Oh, can it, computer wife. Can't you see I'm exhausted? Why don't you go make yourself useful and synthesize me up some grub? Karen: Yes, your majesty. Plankton: What do we got here?  Oh, goody. Holographic meatloaf again! When am I gonna get some real food? Mr. Krabs gets to eat real food. Just look at his daughter, she's as big as a whale! I wish I could be successful like Mr. Krabs.  I wish I could somehow just switch lives with him. Just to know what it's like. Karen: Then why don't you just use that Switch-Lives-Just-To-Know-What-It's-Like-O-Mogrifier thing you built last Tuesday? Plankton: What a brilliant idea! Your parents must have been like, part computer or something.  Now, let's see here.  No...  no...  no...  A-ha!  Well, I hate to leave you, Karen, but you know what they say... a rolling stone gathers no algae.  Ahh...  Ugh... dear Neptune above, what happened last night? Huh, what's this?  Mr. Plankton?  Who the Davey?  Ehh... I'm in the Krusty Krab... and that means the life switcher was a success! The Krusty Krab is mine!  Corporate casual! Alternate-Universe SpongeBob SquarePants: Order up! Two deluxe Krabby Patties. Mr. Plankton:  At last! Alternate-Universe SpongeBob:  There you are, sir. Two deluxe...  Ahoy there, Mr. Plankton. Mr. Plankton: Er, um, hey there, uh, SpongeBob. Uh, SpongeBob? Alternate-Universe SpongeBob: Yes, sir! Mr. Plankton: I'm gonna need to take one of these Patties back to my office for um, bun inspection. Alternate-Universe SpongeBob: I'm afraid you can't do that, Mr. Plankton! Mr. Plankton: Why- why not? Alternate-Universe SpongeBob: Because that Patty is for the customer, sir! Mr. Plankton: The customer? I'll boil the customer in hot oil, and rip out his—  I mean, yes, of course, for the lovely... customer. Alternate-Universe SpongeBob:  But you can take these Patties, sir. I made them in the off chance that you'd decide to instigate some bun inspection today, Mr. Plankton, sir! Mr. Plankton: Uhh... yes, uh, very nice. Um, thanks.  All mine, it's finally all mine! The Patties...  The wealth...  The notoriety! The...  SpongeBob, what do you want? Alternate-Universe SpongeBob: Well, it's just that it's Tuesday again, sir, and I was wondering if I could have my, um... weekly performance review! Mr. Plankton: Review? Alternate-Universe SpongeBob: Oh, yes, please, sir, please! Mr. Plankton: But I've never reviewed anything... except those foreign exercise videos my cousin sent me. Alternate-Universe SpongeBob: Oh, please, sir! I want to make you so happy and proud! Mr. Plankton: Eh, you're doing fine. Now leave me to my work. Alternate-Universe SpongeBob: But, sir! Mr. Plankton: I thought I sent you away, cretin! Alternate-Universe SpongeBob: But, sir, there's gotta be something I need to improve on. Anything! Mr. Plankton: All right, the sauce. Alternate-Universe SpongeBob:  Wh-what? Mr. Plankton: The sauce. I don't know. You're using too much sauce, okay? Review's over. Alternate-Universe SpongeBob:  Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh... Mr. Plankton: What? Alternate-Universe SpongeBob: Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh... Mr. Plankton: What's the matter with you? All I said was A little too much sauce. It's no big deal, really. Alternate-Universe SpongeBob: Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh... Mr. Plankton: What do you want from me, a promotion?! Alternate-Universe SpongeBob:  A pro- a promo- a promotion?! Mr. Plankton: Uh, sure, kid, you're uh... you're on register now. Alternate-Universe SpongeBob:  Register! Mr. Plankton: Glad that's over. Alternate-Universe Squidward J. Q. Tentacles:  SpongeBob, do you remember that little talk we had about 'personal space'? Alternate-Universe SpongeBob: It's okay, Squidward. I'm official, look! Alternate-Universe Squidward:  Co-Cashier?! Mr. Plankton:  So, have you two known each other long?  Huh? Alternate-Universe Squidward:  You can't do this to me, Mr. Plankton! If you think I'm going to stand out there all day listening to... Alternate-Universe SpongeBob: Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah... Alternate-Universe Squidward: Then you must have coral wedged in your frontal lobe! Mr. Plankton: So what do you want me to do about it? Alternate-Universe Squidward: I'd like my view to be a little less yellow, if you know what I mean. Mr. Plankton:  Hope you like gray. Alternate-Universe SpongeBob: Hey, Squidward, I can see you through this little window! Mr. Plankton:  Now, no more intrusions! I'd like to begin writing the memoirs of my success story, so everyone just stay the— Pearl Plankton:  Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy! Mr. Plankton: Just tell Daddy what you want! Oof! He's very busy! Pearl Plankton: Could I please have a um... an advance on my allowance? Mr. Plankton: If it'll get you out of my antennae.  Go crazy. Pearl Plankton: One dollar!? You hate me! Mr. Plankton: Ow! Alternate-Universe Nat Peterson:  You! Mr. Plankton: Me? Alternate-Universe Nat Peterson: You think this is funny? Mr. Plankton: In a cosmic sort of way, yes. Alternate-Universe Nat Peterson: Well, Mr. Funny Man, is this how you get your sick kicks?! Mr. Plankton: What? It's just an ordinary Krabby—  Oh, my goodness! Squidward! Alternate-Universe SpongeBob: Alternate-Universe SpongeBob appears at the table, next to Mr. Plankton] I tried, Mr. Plankton. I really did. Mr. Plankton: Oh, what now? Alternate-Universe SpongeBob: A customer ordered a medium soda, and I gave him a large! I gave him a large! I've soiled the good Krusty Krab name! Mr. Plankton: I command you to stop that. Stop that and return to your post!  Where's the off button on this thing? Pearl Plankton:  Okay, Daddy. I've decided I'm gonna run away! Run away and find a new daddy! Mr. Plankton: Make it stop!  What, did I say the secret word? Alternate-Universe SpongeBob: No, sir, he's back. Mr. Plankton: Who's back? What?  What was that?! Alternate-Universe SpongeBob:  Man your stations! Red alert! Red alert! Take cover! Mr. Plankton:  Take cover from what?!? Alternate-Universe SpongeBob:  He's around here somewhere.  There he goes! Mr. Plankton: What? Who? Where? Somebody tell me! Alternate-Universe Harold Bill Reginald Scott: Some say he crawled out from the lowest trench in the ocean. Pearl Plankton: He's the saltiest of all the sea dogs. Alternate-Universe SpongeBob: He's the most hated creature in Bikini Bottom. Krabs: And he's finally got a Krabby Patty! Ar, ar, ar, ar! Mr. Plankton: Krabs?! What the barnacles is going on here?! Alternate-Universe SpongeBob: It's your arch competitor, Krabs. His goal in life is to steal a Krabby Patty and ruin our restaurant. Mr. Plankton: That's terrible! Alternate-Universe SpongeBob: Yeah! But the worst part is... Mr. Plankton:  Good grief, he's naked! Krabs:  Clothe me if you can, silly landlubbers! Alternate-Universe SpongeBob: I'm gonna make you eat those words, Krabs!  No shirt, no shoes... no service! Krabs: Ar, ar, ar, ar, ar!  Aw, ya got me! Well, at least it's underwire. Here's your stinkin' Patty! Mr. Plankton:  I don't understand. Is there a gas leak in here? Alternate-Universe SpongeBob: Knick-knack, the Patty's back! You did it, Mr. Plankton. Victory screech! Krabs: Enjoy your victory screech, Plankton, because someday the Krabby Patty formula will be mine! Alternate-Universe SpongeBob: You'll never get this formula, you twisted fiend! Krabs: Oh, but I will! Even if I have to come back tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day, and the next day, and the next day...  And the next day, and the next day, and the next day, and the next day... Alternate-Universe SpongeBob:  Phone call, Mr. Plankton. Krabs:  And the next day, and the next day, and the next day, and the next day... Mr. Plankton:  It's not worth it! It's just not worth it! Goodbye, everyone. I'll remember you all in therapy.  Holographic meatloaf? My favorite! Narrator: Ah. Another quiet day in Bikini Bottom. But it wasn't always this way. Once, it was horrible.  The unimaginable happened. One day, SpongeBob SquarePants... changed his pants!  I remember it as if it were yesterday. But, in fact, in happened three days ago.","It's laundry day, Gary!  Oops."
Gary:  Meow.,) Now to finish the day's chores.  Hello?
"Patrick: Hello. Uh, may I speak with SpongeBob, uh, uh...  ...Squaaa...re...Paaaaants?","Mm, speaking."
"Patrick: Hey, hey. You want to hear how long I can do this for?","Actually, Patrick, I'm kind of busy. Can it wait?"
Patrick:  No. Narrator: Much later...,"Gary, go check on the laundry in the dryer."
"Gary: Meow, meow. Narrator: Much much later... Patrick: A pretty long time. Huh?","Yeah, Patrick.  Gary?  They've shrunk!  I'm gonna need to get new pants."
"Clerk: I'm sorry, Mr. SpongeBob, but we're not expecting another shipment of square pants for months.","Oh.  No. Nope. Ew, not these. Uh-uh.  Whoa, these pants hug my body better than my own mother!  Hey, Patrick! Notice anything different? Pose. Pose. Pose. Pose."
Patrick: Do I know you?,"It's me, SpongeBob."
"Patrick: SpongeBob?  No, you're not! SpongeBob has square pants. Now, leave me alone, you mysterious stranger.",Patrick is so full of tartar sauce. I'm still me. It's just a pair of pants. It's not like my friends won't recognize me.
"Sandy: Well, howdy, stranger! I don't recognize you in those newfangled dungarees.  You must be SpongeBob FancyPants. Clothes really do make the man!","Sandy didn't recognize me either. These pants are more powerful than I thought. Course it was just Sandy, and Neptune knows what goes on inside a squirrel's head.  But I know my best buddy Squidward will recognize me. We have been through so much together."
"Squidward:  Oh, no. It's that little yellow freak.","Hi, Squidward!"
Squidward:  Just ignore him. Maybe he'll go away.,"Oh, Squidward! Guess who?"
Squidward:  Do I know you?,"Oh, sure you do. It's me, SpongeBob... SquarePants."
Squidward: Never seen you before in my life.,"Well, maybe these pictures of us together will job your memory.  Me and you at my birthday party.  You and me at work.  That little slumber party we had last week.  I forgot when this was taken."
Squidward:  Is that supposed to be you?  I can't believe it. He actually left.,"Squidward didn't know me either. It's like we'd never met. Maybe Patrick is right.  Oh no, it's locked.  Gary! Hey, Gary! Can you open the door?! I left my keys in the other pants."
Patrick: Hello. Can I help you?,"Patrick, it's me, SpongeBob."
"Patrick: Oh, right. You're that round pants fellow.","Patrick, what are you doing in my house?"
Patrick: Your house? This house belongs to SpongeBob SquarePants. At least it did before he left us.  I wish I could see him one last time.,"Oh, barnacles! I guess I'm not 'SpongeBob SquarePants' anymore. I'll have to start all over again.  Hello, sir. I'd like an application, please. My name is SpongeBob Sq...  Sorry, I'm a little...  I'm a little...  I'm a little nervous. My name is SpongeBob... RoundPants. And I would like to seek employment at this eating establishment.  Oh, dear! Are you ok, Mr. Cashier? Ooh!  Here are the applications.  Let's see here. Name.  SpongeBob RoundPants. Well, this is going well.  Hey, Mr. Cashier, looks like we're gonna be coworkers!  Question two. Have you ever been convicted of a felony? Hmm, what's a felony?"
Squidward: Being too darn happy all the time!,"Oh, yeah! Lots and lots of felonies."
Squidward:  Moron. Mr. Krabs: What's going on here?!,I'm filling out an application.
Mr. Krabs: Get to work.,Then I got the job?!
Mr. Krabs:  Oh boy.,My first day on the job. I am so excited. Woo-hoo!
Squidward: Whatever.,You've worked here a long time. Why don't you show this rookie the ropes?
"Squidward: Oh, I'd love to.",Yay!
Squidward: But...no! Don't...,So what do I do first?
Squidward:  Fine. Take a Krabby Patty and put it on the grill.,Shouldn't you watch it?
Squidward: Why? I don't think it's going anywhere.,"Ooh, very Zen.  What next, oh, oracle of Krabby wisdom?"
Squidward: I'm going to the bathroom.,"Hmm, I'll go, too.  How's it going in there, boss?"
Squidward: Um... fine.,"Going fine.  Oh, Mr. Squidward...  Whatcha reading?  Bathroom break. Check."
Squidward: Here's the slop you ordered.  Enjoy. If you can choke it down.,Be rude to customers and insult food. Nasally laugh.
Customer: Can I get a Krabby Patty Combo? Squidward: No. Customer: How about a Double Krabby?,No.
Customer: Can I get a Triple Patty with cheese?,Oh I think you've had way too many of those.
"Squidward: Taught him everything he knows. Mr. Krabs:  What are you two doing?! Get to work! I'm used to Squidward sleeping on the job, but I expect more from you, Mr. SquarePants.","I am not SpongeBob SquarePants, Mr. Krabs."
Mr. Krabs: What in the name of Davy Jones are you talking about?,"I mean, do these pants look square to you? They're round."
"Mr. Krabs: Yeah, so?",I can't be SpongeBob SquarePants with round pants.
Mr. Krabs: Who told you that?,Patrick.
"Mr. Krabs: Well, why don't you just take them off?","Order up, Squidward."
"Sandy: Well if it isn't SpongeBob UnderPants! Mr. Krabs:  ♪Yar-har, Pearl's my daughter, I'll spit in your eye! Yo-ho, Pearl's a whale, and it's her birthday, yar-yar-yar!♪ Ta-da! Pearl: Thanks for the show, Dad. Now can we open the presents? Mr. Krabs: Oh, all right. Presents for me darling little sardine. Here ya are. Pearl: Oh, you shouldn't have. What is it, Daddy? It wouldn't be those totally hip new flipper slippers all my friends are wearing, would it? Everyone wants them. Mr. Krabs: Uhh...they might be. Pearl: Whee!  Oh, you shouldn't have, yay, you shouldn't have.  I mean, Dad,  you really shouldn't have! Mr. Krabs: Pearl, these are the finest fishin' boots available! Pearl: Dad, you ruined me! Mr. Krabs: But I got them for a bargain!  Oh, what am I gonna do? I spent two whole dollars on these boots and now I'm stuck with them!","Oh, uhh, Mr. Krabs, can I get my paycheck?"
"Mr. Krabs: SpongeBoy, me Bob! Come in. Come in, right this way, laddie! Have a seat anywhere, but not on these beautiful priceless boots.  So you want to get paid?","Uhh, sir, I can't see you. The boots  are in  the way."
Mr. Krabs:  In the way? These boots never leave my sight! These are the most expensive and prized possessions I own.,"Wow, really? Why is that, they just look like any old ordinary boots."
Mr. Krabs: Ordinary boots? These are the only official fry cook boots! Only the finest fry cooks in the world are permitted to wear them! Part of a tradition. And these boots were given to me by the most famous fry cook in the sea.,Who's that?
"Mr. Krabs: Oh, uhh, oh, well, his name's not important, but he was famous, all right, don't you worry.",♪I'm ready! I'm ready! I want those boots!♪
"Mr. Krabs: Sorry, son, these boots are far too valuable.",Hmmm.. I know! What if I give you my Krusty Krab paycheck?
Mr. Krabs: Paycheck! You got a deal--,And what if I paint the Krusty Krab for free?
Mr. Krabs: You've got a deal.,And I'll throw in a year's supply of French fry orders!
Mr. Krabs: You got a...,And...
"Mr. Krabs: Hold on there, lad! You're gonna give me a heart attack!  You got yourself a deal.","Hey, Squidward. Do you like my new boots? Pretty cool, huh? Now, I'm an official fry cook!"
"Squidward: That squeaking is gonna drive us all crazy! Mr. Krabs: Nonsense, Squidward. That squeaking is money to my ears. I mean, music. Mr. Krabs:  Money, money, money, money, money. Ten, twenty, thirty, forty...  Wha? Who's there?  Back to countin' me money.  One, two, three, four, five...  What the barnacle is that?  Arrgh, that was the worst night I ever weathered. At least I'll have some peace and quiet at work. Squidward: That's it, Mr. Krabs; I'm taking my vacation now. Mr. Krabs:  What's wrong, Mr. Squid-ard? Squidward: I can't take the world's greatest fry cook anymore! I'll see you in a week. Mr. Krabs: That fry cook's making me a fortune. What could be the problem?","Hey, Mr. Krabs!"
"Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-ob. Mr. Krabs: I... uhh, I see you're still wearing them boots.",Are you kidding? I love them! Could the world's greatest fry cook do this?
"Mr. Krabs: Well, I don't... uhh... I don't... uhh...","Or could he do this?  Or this?  And watch this, Mr. Krabs!"
"Squeaky Boots: May I take your order? Francis: Yeah, I'll have the Krusty Special. Squeaky Boots: Thank you, sir. I will squeak when it's ready.","Could the greatest fry cook do that, Mr. Krabs?"
"Mr. Krabs: I, uhh...","And watch this, Mr. Krabs. And this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this."
Mr. Krabs:   I gotta go to my office!  I can still hear it!  It's still coming through! The infernal squeak!  Those boots have got to go! And I need an aspirin.,"Gary, these boots have changed my life. I'm never taking them off."
Gary:  Meow.,"Good night, Gary."
"Mr. Krabs: Ah, quiet money. Silence and money.",Mr. Krabs!
"Mr. Krabs: What is it, my boy?","Oh, Mr. Krabs, I'm sorry! Sorry! Sorry! I'm sorry!"
"Mr. Krabs: It's okay, son.","No, it's not okay! I lost the boots! Your valuable boots, it's my fault, I let you down! Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Ohh, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry."
"Mr. Krabs: Hold it, boy! It's not the end of the world.","Yes, it is!"
"Mr. Krabs: Look, don't cry. I got some, uhh, some magic oven mitts!",They're not the same! You were right. I wasn't ready for those blessed boots.
"Mr. Krabs: Poor lad. Tom: Excuse me? Mr. Krabs: I didn't do it!  Ohh, heh-heh, can I help ya? Tom: Yeah, I'm ready to order. Mr. Krabs:  What'll ya have? Tom: I'll take a . Mr. Krabs:  What did you say? Tom: I said, I'll take a . Mr. Krabs: Huh?","I heard his order, Mr. Krabs. He says he wants ."
Mr. Krabs: What? Tom: And a . Mr. Krabs: Huh?  Huh?  I didn't write that!,"Could the world's greatest fry cook do this?... And this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this..."
"Mr. Krabs:  Stop it!  Stop... it!  Oh, oh, don't you hear it?! Yes, I did it! I did it! I took the boots! They're here, under the floorboards!  Oh, please, make it stop! It's the squeaking of the hideous boots!  I'm sorry! But I can't take the infernal squeakin' no more!  The deed is done.","Umm, why did you eat my boots, Mr. Krabs?"
"Mr. Krabs: Because, lad, you didn't need 'em. It's not the boots, it's the boot-ee. I mean, uh, the person... in the boots. You're a great fry cook.","You really think so, Mr. Krabs?"
"Mr. Krabs: I do, son.  Here's the paycheck I owe you.  Plus a bonus!  I need a vacation.","Bye, Mr. Krabs!"
"Mr. Krabs: Ah, a long week away from Bikini Bottom is exactly what I need, just me and my darling daughter Pearl. Pearl:  Don't forget my new flipper slippers, Daddy! Mr. Krabs: Darling, I won't.  Oh, no.","♪Oh, I've got an whole new attitude♪"
"Squidward: Oh, is that supposed to be singing?  I am putting that one on SpongeBob.  Would you clam up, SpongeBob? I am trying to paint in here!",♪I cherish my fellow residents...♪
"Squidward: SpongeBob, why are you doing this?","Oh, I'm just displaying for all to see an attitude of gratitude!"
Squidward: Gratitude? You've been wallowing in filth all morning. What could you possibly be grateful for?,"Hit it, boys! ♪Oh, I've got an whole new attitude. A lifetime subscription to gratitude. Friend, you've got to change your latitude. Live an attitude of gratitude, I'm grateful for the life I'm living. Who knows how long I will have it? I'm thankful for all I've been given. We make appreciation a habit. There's no time like the present day to have a present come your way!"
Slimy trash can monsters: All you have to do it grab it!,So now I think that you will see.
Slimy trash can monsters: You'll see.,"There's nothing more you need. My friend, this ain't no platitude."
Slimy trash can creatures: Platitude!,Just an attitude of gratitude.♪
Slimy trash can creatures: Gratitude!,"Or, in your case, Squidward, an attitude of hattitude!"
Squidward: Keep your hat and your gratitude! Because having you as a neighbor has left me with nothing to be grateful for!,"Wow, Squidward, you should really consider getting your plumbing looked at."
Squidward: This is your fault!,"Don't worry, buddy. I can give you a hand."
"Squidward: No, you have helped me enough. I don't want your help ever again!","No problem, pal."
"Squidward: Moron.  Stupid pipe!  Oh, great. Now I'm late for work. Pardon me! Scooter: Whoa! Slow down, Speedster! Squidward: Go jump in a coral pit. Mr. Krabs: Mr. Squidward, how many times do I have to tell you? The customers' jokes are always funny! Now, give the gentlemen a chuckle. Squidward: Ha ha ha. Scooter: I knew you would eventually get it, dude. Squidward: Stop staring, SpongeBob. You're affecting my productivity. Sandals: I would like to order one Krabby Patty. Squidward: That'll be three dollars. Sandals:  Do you accept pennies? Squidward: I don't have time to count all that! Sandals: Oh, well, have it your way. I'll just take my loose change elsewhere! Squidward: Oh, please do, I'm trying to get some work done here. Sheesh, some people just want to waste your time.  Hey, buddy! How am I supposed to focus with all of that incessant tapping? And what do you think you're doing, sir? Nat: I'm holding the door for the nice lady. Squidward: No, you're not. You're leaving your grubby finger prints all over the glass! And now yours truly is gonna have to clean it up! Why does everyone insist on making my job so difficult?!  You always leave trash on the table!  Your teeth chatter!  Your hat annoys me!  You take too long in the restroom!  And SpongeBob, would you quit singing that song?","What's the matter, Squidward? Don't you have an attitude of gratitude?"
"Squidward:  SpongeBob, I hate my job, and I live in a dead end town with neighbors I can't stand. I'm the most miserable person in Bikini Bottom! What do I have to be thankful for?","Well, it could be worse."
Squidward: How could life in Bikini Bottom possibly get any worse? Nat: Mount Bikini Bottom's erupting!,That's how.
"Lloyd: Cool. Scooter: Look, the roof! Mr. Krabs: Eh, ya lemmings. Afraid of a little lavar? CASHY! No! Make it stop raining fiery destruction!","Sorry to interrupt your crying, Mr. Krabs, but shouldn't we get to a place that at least doesn't have a roof with lava coming through it?  Fear not, shelter can't be far a-"
"Mr. Krabs: Oh, why even bother, SpongeBob? Can't you see? Civilization as we know is crumbling to dust!  Civic orders is in tatters. It's every man for himself, there's no other way. I'm gonna need your life essence! Old Woman:  What are you boys doing out still? Plenty of room at the Volcano Shelter! Hey, but no more roughhousing, you got that?! Mr. Krabs:  Oh, yes. Of course, ma'am.  Try and behave yourselves, fellers. Mayor: No need to get excited, citizens. The government is working tirelessly to defeat this evil volcano. Billy: What are we gonna do? Mayor: Don't worry. We've got it under control. Billy:  Under control? Half the city's on fire! You call THAT under control? Huh? Do ya?  The end is near, Mayor. Harold: That guy's on to something. What are you hiding from us, Mayor? Do you have some secret? Is the end near?","Mr. Mayor! Mr. Mayor, please. I've got something."
"Mayor: Oh! Yes, boy? How do you propose we stop the volcano?","Actually, I just had a question about these parking tickets. I don't have a car."
"Squidward: Oh, boy. Moron. Mayor: We're doomed! Dolphin Warrior:  You fools! Mayor: Who are you? Dolphin Warrior:  I am an ancient warrior from long ago. The last of my kind who ruled over the ocean from before the dawn of time. But, alas, my people were wiped out by the same volcano that plagues you now. Harold: Then how did you survive? Dolphin Warrior:  I survived, because I was the only one who knew how to stop it! Harold: Well, don't keep us in suspense. How did you stop it? Dolphin Warrior: You must make... a sacrifice! Harold: What kind of sacrifice? Dolphin Warrior: A sacrifice must be made of the most miserable person. Harold: I knew it! We have to sacrifice the most miserable person! Monica: And who would that be? Harold: Well, it certainly isn't me!","Hey, Squidward, who do you think is the most miserable person?"
"Squidward: Don't know, don't care.","But, Squidward, it's imperative that we..."
"Squidward:  But, Squidward, it is imperative that we...  Nothing! I think I'd rather take my chances with the volcano than be stuck in this miserable barnacle hole with you  and the citizens of Dumb-Dumb Town! Man: Oh, oh, we're idiots now! Oh, nice! Nice! Woman:  I'm a solitary smart woman. Squidward: What? Male Fish:  Miserable Squidward! Oh, you are miserable! Squidward: You idiots! You've got the wrong guy! Dale: We heard you complaining about the fingerprints. Nat: And the foot tapping. Sandals: And my loose change. Mabel: And my teeth!  And his hat! Scooter: And you called your pipe stupid. Lloyd: And the fact that you said you were the most miserable person in Bikini Bottom! Squidward:  I'm the most miserable person in Bikini Bottom! Oh, would you just...  Let me down, you goons! Mayor: Sorry, Mr. Tentacles. Throw him in, fellas. Squidward: No!",Wait! It is I who makes Squidward miserable. Throw me in instead.
"Mayor: Works for me. Squidward: Well, I'm glad that y'all came to your senses. Bunch of ingrates. Come on, SpongeBob. Jump in.",Squidward!
"Squidward:  SpongeBob, help!","I'd love to, Squidward, but you said to not help you ever again! And that being my neighbor left you with nothing to be grateful for. I made a promise!"
"Squidward: I take it back!  Please SpongeBob, I didn't mean any of that! I do appreciate your friendship. I am grateful. I'm... I'm...  I'm grateful for the life I'm living! Who knows how long I'll have it? I learned that from you, remember? Goodbye, everyone!  Huh?","Squidward, I always knew you felt that way.  Aw, buddy. Thanks for finally opening up to us."
"Squidward: My house! Dolphin Warrior: Ah, now the volcano is appeaved! Squidward: But I thought you said a sacrifice had to be made of the most miserable person. Dolphin Warrior:  No! You didn't let me finish. I was trying to say, a sacrifice of the most miserable person's house. No one ever listens to me. Squidward: You know SpongeBob, in light of everything that just happened... I lied to you. I am not grateful for anything! I mean look at me. I don't even have a roof to sleep under, anymore!","Well, I wouldn't say that."
"Squidward: Go away. Plankton: What is going on here?! Karen: What's wrong now? Plankton: Same as always, look, empty again! Karen: So what are you gonna do about it? Plankton: I don't know anymore! Karen: Hey, hey, hey, why don't you just work on a new recipe? Plankton: What's the point? I haven't had a customer in years! Nat: Hello! Plankton: Away with you! Can't you see that I'm self-loathing here? Nat: Sorry, I just wanted a Chum Stick. Plankton:  What?! Nat: Yes, I'd like one of your Chum Sticks. Plankton: You're kidding right? Nat: No, I'm serious, I want a Chum Stick. Plankton: Uh, okay if you insist.  Oh, no, please don't sue me!  I can't believe someone actually enjoys my chum! Nat: Now this was so good, I'm going to have to come back tomorrow.  Here you go. See you in the morning. Plankton:  Did you see that? I didn't even have to threaten his life! He loved it! Karen: How'd you pull that off? Plankton: Well it's simple, finally someone came in who has good taste. And he's coming back tomorrow! Excuse me, Karen, but I've gotta whip up some more.  Now, I wait. I wait until he returns.  I wait. I wait. I wait. I wait. Narrator: 8 hours later... Plankton: Huh? Nat? Hello? Huh? What?  Uh, it's closing time. I should have known it was too good to be true. Nat: Hey! Plankton: Well, hello, Nat! Nat: I came back like I said yesterday. Plankton: You certainly did, didn't you? Nat: I'd like another Chum Stick, please. Plankton: Well, it's your lucky day, Nat. I happen to have a quite delectable one, right here. Nat: Oh, boy! Plankton: Is it okay? Nat:  Okay?!  It's perfection!  Hey, how about I have another? Plankton: You betcha! Nat: Whoo, boy! I cannot believe how good these things are. Plankton: Oh, well, you know. Nat: All right, see you tomorrow. Plankton: What?! You're coming back again? Nat: Oh, you know it! And the day after that, and the next week after that! You've got a regular customer on your hands! Plankton: Oh, my, this is amazing! At last, I've got my revenge! Mr. Krabs: ♪Rolling, rolling, rolling! Money keeps on rolling along!♪  One more time!  No way, Plankton! You're not getting me formula this time or any time! Plankton: Don't bother. There's no need. Mr. Krabs: What are you talking about? Plankton:  I'm just saying I no longer need to copy you, Krabs. I've got my own winning recipe now. Mr. Krabs:  You're really funny man! You think you can compete with me? Look Plankton, look at all these loyal customers. Loyal to me, Plankton, not to you! Nat: Hey, Plankton, can I get another one of your delicious Chum Sticks? Plankton: But of course, loyal customer.  I'll see you later, loser. Much later! Mr. Krabs: Oh, no! How can this be? Boy, front and center!","Yes, sir!"
Mr. Krabs: Plankton's trying to overthrow me business! He's got a customer that actually likes his food! You've gotta get that guy back on our side with a couple of Krabby Patties.,"Oh, you can count on me, sir.  Pardon me, you smart fellow. Down here.  Why settle for Plankton's lumpy chum, when you can enjoy a steaming Krabby Patty for free?"
Nat:  No thanks.,"Barnacles!  There he is. Just in time for breakfast.  Oh, I am such a clumsy oaf. I sure hope nothing happens to this Krabby Patty while I step carefully over this rock here.  Oh, no! Too late! No! No!  Oops. Oops. Oops. Oops. Oops. Oops. Come on, Nat. Just one accidental bite! I see you're not hungry right now, but I'm telling you, that Krabby Patty is gonna make a great snack later."
"Nat: Yeah, do me a favor.  From now on, keep those Shabby Patties to yourself.","Oh, fishpaste!"
"Plankton: Nat, back all ready? That's the fifth time today. Not that I'm surprised. Karen, babe, fetch Nat another plate of that sweet chum. Karen: Yes, Your Diminutiveness. Plankton: Say, Nat, do you have any friends? Nat: Nope. Plankton: Would you hurry up with that chum, Karen?!","Yeah, yeah, yeah, keep your tiny pants on Plankton, bleep bloop.  There's your chum, bleep blap blop."
"Nat: Hey, this doesn't look like chum. Plankton: And that doesn't look like Karen!","Why, don't be ridiculous, my husband, bleep blap. Of course it's me."
"Plankton: What have you done with Karen, you brute?! Nat: How many times do I have to tell you?  I don't want to eat your trash! Plankton's chum is my favorite breakfast, lunch, and dinner! I love chum! So forget it! I don't want to eat anything else!",So you're saying that you love chum? And all that you ever eat is chum?
Nat: Yeah! Th-that's right!,Interesting.
"Nat: A shortcut to the Chum Bucket? Hmm. That must be for me. SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs: Welcome, valued customer! Nat: This isn't the Chum Bucket. Mr. Krabs:  Why go to the Chum Bucket when the Krusty Krab has added tasty chum to our menu? Nat: That's okay, I only eat Chum Bucket brand chum. Mr. Krabs: But we've developed a special recipe for the most discerning chum lovers. Besides, I locked all the exits until you give it a try. So what do you say?  You like it? Nat: It's... Mr. Krabs: Yeah? Nat: It's... Mr. Krabs: Well, what do you think? Nat: It's the second foulest thing I've ever tasted!  I'm going back to Plankton's chum. Mr. Krabs: What am I going to do?! I can't let Plankton have so much as one single customer!  I just can't afford it!",I guess you'll have to make Chum that's as good as Plankton's.
"Mr. Krabs: But to do that, I need to know how Plankton makes his Chum.  That's it boyo!  Where could it be?  There! Plankton's secret formula!  It's gotta be in here... Plankton:  What do you think Krabs, baby? This time I caught you trying to steal my secret formula! Ironic, isn't it? Mr. Krabs: Unfortunately, I have no way of knowing. You see, crabs are not born with an innate inkling of irony. Plankton: Ouch, double irony!","Triple irony, Plankton! Though you nabbed Krabs trying to steal your formula, I'm still here to foil your evil plans! So, it's like a dollop of irony on top of an ironic twist.  I mean, just think about that.  You know, in a weird way, it's like we never left the..."
"Plankton: Good thing I sprang for the dual spoon installation. Karen: Call it a computer's intuition, but I sense your regular approaching, with an unusually large wad of cash. Mr. Krabs: Look at all that loot! Plankton: That's right, Krabs! And you're going to have to keep looking when my customer comes in and pays me for my chum! Mr. Krabs: D'oh, just put me out of me misery! Plankton: Back for more of my delicious chum, I see! Nat: Not this time. Plankton and Mr. Krabs: Huh? Nat:  Not ever again!  The deal's off, computer! I can't eat another bite of that slop, no matter how much you pay me! Plankton: Ha-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-huh? Nat: I have eaten ten of those things, and I've all ready had to go to the doctor...twice!  If you need me, I'll be getting my stomach pumped, again. Plankton: What's the deal, Karen? Karen: The deal was that I paid Nat to eat your chum, so you'd quit your constant complaining. Plankton: All this time, I never had one regular customer? Karen: Duh. Plankton: Should have known! Why would anyone ever eat my slop? Karen: Uhh, there he goes again. Cut it out, Plankton! Plankton: What? It's just obvious that I'm a complete failure, and a waste of a lower life form! Oh, woe is me!","Quickly, now is the time to beat a hasty retreat!"
Mr. Krabs: What? And miss this? I've never enjoyed meself more! This irony's pretty good stuff! Mr. Krabs: Finished! At last.  What do you boys think of my masterpiece?,New business hours: 6 a.m. to 11 p.m.
Squidward: What?! That is totally unfair!,Squidward's right. That's totally unfair! Couldn't we get to work earlier than 6:00 a.m.? Like 5:30 a.m.? Or 5:00 a.m.? Or 4:00 a.m.? Or--
"Squidward: Zip it! Mr. Krabs: What the...?!  The Chum Bucket open 23 hours?! So, that little piece of flotsam Plankton thinks he can stay open longer than me, does he? Fish: Sure. I don't know. Why not? Mr. Krabs: Well, he's wrong! Fish: Oh, okay. Sure. Mr. Krabs: As of now, the Krusty Krab is open 24 hours!","Did you hear that, Squidward? We get to keep working and working and working without ever having to go home! I've got to pinch myself, because I must be dreaming.  Well, I'm not dreaming."
"Plankton:  Open 24 hours, eh? I knew he couldn't resist staying open later than me.  My evil plan is working perfectly. He'll run his employees into the ground, and when SpongeBob's mind finally cracks from exhaustion, I'll get him to tell me the secret Krabby Patty formula!  Why aren't you laughing? Karen: I've heard this joke before. Mr. Krabs: All right, everybody. The Krusty Krab is entering day 3 of non-stop service! Let's give it up for day 3!  Yee haw! Day 3!","Krabby Patty, I don't care if we have to stay open until the day after the end of time. As long as I am with you, I am complete."
"Mr. Krabs: Day 10 of non-stop service! Squidward:  Mr. Krabs, can I go home yet? Mr. Krabs: No one goes home! Squidward:  Look at these bags under my eyes; even my bags have bags! Mr. Krabs: Quit your bellyaching, Squidward; you don't hear SpongeBob complaining, do you?","♪K-R-A-B-B-Y P-A-T-T-Y, says I.♪"
"Mr. Krabs: You could learn a few things from that boy. Squidward:  Mr. Krabs, he is not normal. Mr. Krabs: All right, you can sit down for five minutes. Then it's back to work. Plankton: Drats! He's not collapsing from exhaustion! But with a little more pressure, the sponge will crack like an egg , and I'll be there to feast on the goo of his shattered psyche. Mr. Krabs: Eww! A spider bug. Plankton: Come on! Mr. Krabs: Krusty Krab! The restaurant that never closes. Would you like to place an order?  10,000 Krabby Patties?! We'll start your order right away, Mr...uh, uh...What was that name again?  Uh huh...Peter Lankton. Wait a minute, this isn't some kind of prank, is it? Plankton: Eh...no. Mr. Krabs: Good! We'll call you when it's ready, Mr. Lankton. Mr. Krabs: Kick it into high gear! We've got a big order!  I'm counting on you, boy! I need you to raise that spatular!  Yeah! And I need you to say, Team Krusty Krab!",Team Krusty Krab!
"Mr. Krabs: That's me boy! Now, make me 10,000 Krabby Patties.  And no breaks!","Did you hear that, spatula? You, me and 10,000 Krabby Patties. And the best part? No breaks!  Wow!"
Mr. Krabs: Day 15! Give it up for day 15!,"♪K-R-A-B-B-Y P-A-T-T-Y...♪ 1,322..."
Mr. Krabs: Day 23! Give it up for day 23!,"6,654..."
Mr. Krabs: Day 30!,"7,121..."
Mr. Krabs: Day...35...!,"8,659..."
"Old Man Walker: Wait, what's going on? Whoa, whoa! Mr. Krabs: Day...  anyone know how many days it's been? I've lost track. Squidward:  43...! Mr. Krabs: What the flimflam?!  What are you doing in here, boy? You're wasting all me food.  Boy?","Oh, hey, Mr. Krabs. When did you get here?"
"Mr. Krabs: Boy, I'm worried that...  Got it?","I'm sorry, Mr. Krabs. Could you run that by me again?"
"Mr. Krabs: Sure, I said I'm worried that...","That's what I thought you said. Now, let me offer this as a rebuttal:  Stay back! I'm warning you!"
Mr. Krabs:  All right. Now you're just acting silly. I want you to...,"No, don't eat me! I'm too chewy!  Holy shrimp! They're everywhere!"
Sally: I told you that shirt was hideous.,"No, no! I want to live!  I want to live Mr. Krabs, what's going on? Everywhere I look, I see killer Krabby Patties."
"Mr. Krabs:  There, there. I'm sure it's nothing that getting back to work won't solve. Here's your Spatular.",Spatular.
Mr. Krabs:  and here's the grill.,Grill.
"Mr. Krabs:  and here are some fresh Krabby... Mr. Krabs: Hmm, there may be a problem after all.",What does this mean?
"Mr Krabs: It means there's something wrong with your head. Look, I think maybe you should see a professional.",Wrestler?
"Mr. Krabs: No, a psychiatrist.","Oh, but where am I going to find a psychiatrist?  Ow!  Hey, look at this! Dr. Peter Lankton: Psychiatrist. Specializing in Krabby Patty phobias. Gosh, I don't know about this, Mr. Krabs. Wouldn't I have to miss work if I went to see...  Well, this looks like the place.  Hello? Doctor?"
"Plankton: Come in, Mr. SquarePants. Please have a seat on the couch.  Now...  Let's unload all that harmful information in your little yellow head.","You're a bit smaller than I imagined, doctor, but I guess that's why they call you shrink . Do you think there's hope for me, doctor?"
"Plankton: Hope? Hope!? When I get my hands on that formula, there won't be any hope for any of you!  Yeah, I mean, you'll be cured in no time.","Oh, good."
Plankton: Let's start with a simple exercise.,Jumping jacks?
"Plankton: I want you to close your eyes.  Tighter  Tighter  Too tight! Now, tell me what you see?",I see giant Krabby Patties!
"Plankton: Good, and what are they made of?",Hatred!
"Plankton: No, I mean ingredients. What are the stinking ingredients?!",They're coming for me. No! No! No! Stay back!
"Plankton: Wait, where'd you get that piano?  We're trying something else. I'm going to say a word and I want you to say the first word that pops into your head. Ready?",I'm ready!
Plankton: Work.,Work.
Plankton: Spatula.,Spatula.
Plankton: Bun.,Bun.
"Plankton: See, the key is to say something different to what I say.","Oh, okay, I've got it."
Plankton: Potato.,Potahto.
Plankton: Tomato.,Tomahto.
"Plankton: I've laid out some words on cards here. These words are common kitchen ingredients. I want you to arrange them in any order you choose. It could be a poem or a secret formula. I don't know… oh, yes! A secret formula. Good, let's do that.","Um, you're making me nervous."
"Plankton: Oh, okay.  I'll be over here, then.",I'm finished!  I've arranged them into a piano.
"Plankton: Since your mind has been resistant to every mental technique so far, I'm forced to resort to my most powerful method of curing you.",Fiber?
"Plankton: No, hypnosis.",Hypnosis?!
"Plankton:  Now, keep your eyes on this watch.  When I count to three, you will fall into a deep sleep. 1...uh, 2...uh, 3.  I can't believe it worked. Now, when I snap my fingers, you will awake and tell me the formula.  Hey, wake up!  Hmm, what else is loud and obnoxious?  Why won't you wake up?!",Where am I?
"Krabby Patty: Hey, SpongeBob. I heard your brain was sick, so I brought you this cookie pizza.","Gee, thanks!"
Krabby Patty: And here's some chocolate milk.,"The king of flavored dairy drinks!  Oh, Krabby Patty, I'm so glad we're friends again."
"Krabby Patty: Just remember, SpongeBob, I'll always be with you right here  .",In my heart?
"Krabby Patty: Actually, in your arteries. Now, do me a favor and wake up. Wake up. Plankton:  Wake up!",It worked! I'm cured!
Plankton: But what about the formula?,"Oh, you're right! I'd better get back to work!  Thanks for everything, doc!"
"Plankton:  No! It's a lie! Therapy doesn't really work! You're still sick! Very, very sick! Mr. Krabs: Good to see you're brain's all fixed, boy.","Yeah, I just needed some sleep, is all."
"Mr. Krabs: Well, I can safely say, No more 24 hour shifts, because 23 hours will be plenty!","Oh, Mr. Krabs...!"
"Mr. Krabs: No, seriously. Get back to work! Mrs. Puff: Look out! Oh! Driver 1: Learn how to drive!",I'm trying!
"Mrs. Puff: Calm down, SpongeBob!","Yes, Mrs. Puff! Nothing soothes one's frazzled nerves like blowing bubbles!"
Mrs. Puff: No blowing bubbles while driving! Mrs. Puff: Phew! Driver 2: I can't feel my big toe.,"So, uh, how'd I do?"
Mrs. Puff:  Get out! You're never getting a boating license!,But—but—
Mrs. Puff:  Never! Never!,"I'll never pass my driver's test, I'll never get my license, and I'll never know the joys of boat ownership!"
"Nancy Suzy Fish: Ooh... Tina Fran: It's really nice. Larry: Oh, yeah, it's a turbo jet. 390 sea horse power with 11-to-1 pop-up piston.  We're talking some serious muscle! Tina Fran: I love your boat, Larry! Mr. Krabs: Oh, hey there, boyo! Lovely day for a boat wash!  Isn't it? Mr. Krabs: Whoa. Maybe I shouldn't have borrowed Pearl's shorts.","Hey, Patrick, you want to hang out?"
"Patrick: Wish I could, SpongeBob, but I'm kind of busy spending time with my boat right now.","Your boat.  Sure, Patrick. See you later."
"Patrick: Catch! Bubble Mrs. Puff: You're a very good driver, SpongeBob, and my favorite student. Here's your license.",Ooh!  Aww! If only I was as good at driving as I am at blowing bubbles.  Oh! That's it!
Abigail Marge: Whoa! Tom: What is that? Girls: Oh!,"All right, all right. Pleasant day for a drive, hey, Officer?"
"Motorcycle Cop: Sir, I'm going to need to see your license for that, um...",You don't need a license to drive a bubble.
"Motorcycle Cop: Hmm, I suppose you're right. Carry on, citizen.",Gary!
Gary:,"You'll never believe it! I was out driving all day! Yes, driving! First, I drove down the street like this! Then I made a right turn on red like this. You should've been there, Gary! Oh, it was like a dream come true!"
Gary:  Meow.,Hmm?
"Green Fish: I'm here for a bubble boat. Martin: Uh, yeah, me too! Dave: I want one! Various people: Uh, yeah, yeah, me too! Yes, please. One, please.","Oh, I'm not sure I have enough soap to make this many bubble boats."
Green Fish: Please?,"Well, I suppose I could tap into my rainy day reserves. One bubble boat coming right up!"
"Green Fish: Thank you! Plankton: Down here, idiot! I want to strike fear in the hearts of other drivers. You got something terrifying in that wand for me, SpongeBob?","I sure do, Plankton!"
"Plankton: Oof! Plankton: Ha-ha-ha, you fool! Now I will rule the streets! [Plankton starts to drive his boat, but gets stepped on by Larry within seconds. Plankton: Ouch! Plankton: Strike fear... Larry: Hmm...blow me something that screams Larry, SpongeBob.","I'm on it, Larry!"
"Larry: Now, this is what I call a muscle car! Tina Fran: I love your boat, Larry!",I'll never blow enough bubble boats at this rate. Yahoo!
"Mrs. Puff:  Greetings, class. My name is— Mrs. Puff:  Mrs. Puff. Oh, now that everyone's driving bubbles, they don't need licenses.  I guess there's just no place in this world for an old driving instructor. Mrs. Puff: Oh! Bah! Fred: Hey, watch it, lady! Mrs. Puff: Ah! Tom: I'm driving over here! Mable: Hey, hey, hey, hey! Mrs. Puff: Oh—wah! Clay: Hey! Pick a lane, butter-brain! Motorcycle Cop: I'm going to have to ask you to step out of the boat, ma'am. Do you know why I pulled you over? Mrs. Puff: You ran my plates and saw my rap sheet? Motorcycle Cop: What? No. Your vehicle has been outlawed, ma'am. Motorcycle Cop: Now that everyone drives bubble boats, real boats have been deemed too sharp and pointy to be street legal. Mrs. Puff: But I've never driven a bubble! Mrs. Puff: Bubble boating school? Mrs. Puff: Please don't be SpongeBob. Please don't be SpongeBob. Please don't be SpongeBob. Please don't be SpongeBob.  Please don't be SpongeBob.","Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!  Hi, Mrs. Puff."
Mrs. Puff: Of course.,"You must be here for the bubble lessons. Don't worry, Mrs. P.  You'll be learning from a master. Whoa!"
Mrs. Puff: Great.,"Now, to get your bubble going, just pump your legs like this."
Mrs. Puff: Oh! Ooh! Oh!,Nice start.
Mrs. Puff: Oh! Fire! Mrs. Puff: Oh! Ah! Hmm. Hah. Eeh. Mrs. Puff: I did it.,"Mrs. Puff, you're ready."
Mrs. Puff: Really?,Absolutely! You just need to pass your final test...out there.
Mrs. Puff:  Oh.,Nice and easy. Doing great.
"Harold: Hello! Mrs. Puff: You know, this whole bubble boating thing isn't so bad.  Maybe I could—","Oh, no, Mrs. Puff! You got on the freeway by mistake! Look out! It's okay! Just calm down!"
Mrs. Puff: Eeh! Oh! Mrs. Puff: Ah! Mrs. Puff: Oh! Mrs. Puff: Oh!,Ah! Oh no. What's gonna happen when they hit the surface? Doh!
Mrs. Puff:  No more bubbles. Get them off me!,"Don't worry, Mrs. Puff. Even though it was bubbles that caused all these problems, it was also bubbles that solved 'em. That's kind of a wash, I guess. Get it? Wash? Soap? Bubbles?"
Motorcycle Cop:  Give me that! Bubble boats are too unstable. They've been declared illegal. Everyone back to your regular boats!,"Well, Mrs. Puff, looks like I have to get my boating license after all. See you tomorrow in class! ♪La-la-la-la, la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la♪"
"Mrs. Puff:  Oh, joy. Perch Perkins: Perch Perkins here for Bikini Bottom News. Today, SpongeBob SquarePants will attempt the impossible: a high-sea dive from that diving board!  He'll be the first sponge ever to dive up through the ocean. Gary: Meow.","Did you hear what Perch said, Gary? The first sponge!"
"Monroe Timmy: Whoa. SpongeBob Statue:  Pretty cool, huh, kid?","Okay, Gary, that's enough lard. I gotta warm up. That's good. I'm all warmed up."
"Mr. Krabs: Get your SpongeBob standees here! Buy one and take home a hero!  Here you are,  here!  Here! Patrick:  Hey, SpongeBob. What's new?  Oh, so that's how it is, huh? The silent treatment. Well, two can play at that game, mister! Bubble Bass: Excuse me. How much for this stupid starfish standee? Mr. Krabs: Hmm? Hmm.  20 bucks? Bubble Bass:  But it's damaged. Mr. Krabs: 10 bucks? Bubble Bass:  Sold!",Hi-uh!
Perch Perkins: And here's our hero now with the flag he will plant on the surface.,Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!  Ahh! Ooh.
Mr. Krabs: Get your SpongeBob standees right here. Buy one and take home a loser.,I just don't understand it. Surface divers go down. Why didn't I go up?
"Sandy: Well, back in Texas, Olympic divers have gravity to help them go down. What you need is anti-gravity to go up.",Anti-gravity? Yes!  Yah!
Squidward:  Hmph. Stupid messy moron rubbernecking flounders and so on...,"I'm doing it! I'm doing it! I'm the first high-sea-diving sponge. Hey, what happened to the surface? Hmm. Huh?  Aw, gee, and I was so close.  Hmm? What is this place? Oh! Uh-huh. This place is trash-tastic!  Ow!  Oh, hey now! Whoa-whoa-whoa-oh-oh!"
"Dave: What's that? Evelyn: I don't know. Farmer: Hmm. Thaddeus: It's a gift! Evelyn: From the sky? Dave: From Neptune! Boy Scout Campers: Yay!  Aww. Boy Scout Campers:  Thank you, Neptune! Groom:  I'm sorry, honey. I couldn't afford the whole house. Just the door! Groom:  Whoa-ho-ho-ho! Look at that! Bride: Now there's room for my mother! Groom: Whaa?! Bride's Mother: Ehh...",Hmm? I thought I saw something over— Ow!  Hello? Who are you?
Old Man Jenkins: I'm King Neptune! Feel my power!,Ow! Old Man Jenkins?
Old Man Jenkins: I'm not Old Man Jenkins anymore! I'm King Neptune! Take that!,"Huh? All right, I'll play along. Hey, King Neptune! I'm Poseidon!"
"Old Man Jenkins:  Oh! Business Man: Hmm? Neptune is blessing us with gifts and treasures!  Surf's up, dude! Nat Peterson: Oh, yeah! All right! Ho-ho! Little Girl #1: You say your desire into the balloon, blow it up, and send it to Neptune.  A slice of pizza. Cara:  A never-ending roll of toilet paper. Little Girl #2:  A million grandmas. Old Man Jenkins: You're not Poseidon. You're SpongeBob SquarePants.",And you're Old Man Jenkins!
"Old Man Jenkins: I was Old Man Jenkins 'til I came here. It was a year ago today... Senior Citizens: ♪Happy birthday to you♪ Old Man Jenkins: Oh, thank you, dea—  Hello? Some help, please? Senior Citizens:  So now I gotta go back? I came all the way over here. Old Man Jenkins: Hey—hey, come back here! Come back, now! Voice #1: Neptune, I want a mustache. Voice #2: Neptune, I want a cool voice. Patrick:  Neptune, I want another balloon. Patrick:  Now! Old Man Jenkins: My subjects! I must get down to help them.","Well, we could build a ladder out of this stuff and climb down—ooh, uh, down?"
"Old Man Jenkins: What are you, senile?",Uh-uh. I'm juvenile!
"Citizen #1: Hey, what happened? Citizen #2: What's going on here? Harold: Why isn't Neptune sending us more gifts down for us? Gale Rechid: We must have upset him. Harold: You must have upset him!  This is for you, Neptune! Oohh— Gale Rechid: Wait! Look! Citizen #3: Oh, it's the most amazing thing I've ever seen. Citizen #4: What is it? Gale Rechid: What do you think it is? Harold: It's a ladder from Neptune! Let's climb up and get more free stuff! Gale Rechid: Me first!",Phew! It took every piece of the island to make this ladder. Ooh? Hey! Look at that!  I'm the first sponge to ever do that!
Old Man Jenkins: Big whoop.,"Oh, yes! It's the biggest whoop! Let's go home!"
Old Man Jenkins: Stop shaking the ladder!,I'm not shaking it!
"Gale Rechid: I think I see him! It's Neptune! Fred: Oh, Neptune! Citizens: Neptune! Out of my way! Gale Rechid: Wait a minute.  It's Old Man Jenkins! Nat Peterson: Old Man Jenkins is Neptune? Dale: All hail Old Man Jenkins! Old Man Jenkins: Get off my trash, you idiots! Dale: Praise Neptune! We're all idiots for you! Citizens: We're all idiots! We're all idiots!",Ooh-whaa!
"Gale Rechid: Hey, it's SpongeBob!",Everybody climb back down! There's nothing up there!  I dove up and found Old Man Jenkins living among all these objects.
Gale Rechid: Then it was you that sent these treasures down! Nat Peterson: Hooray for SpongeBob! He's our hero!,No! Ahh! Ohh—ow!
"Old Man Jenkins:  I'm King Neptune! King of the seven seas, the lakes, rivers, puddles... And spit too! I'm the king of spit! King Neptune: So you're the king of spit? Old Man Jenkins: Uh-oh. King Neptune: Uh-oh is right. Old Man Jenkins: I smell like toast. Am I breakfast?  Needs jelly. Mr. Krabs: Hmm?  Ooh, well, look at that. Someone threw away a good SpongeBob standee.  Yagh!  Oof!  Ugh.",They called me a hero. Your turn.
Patrick: Now you.,"Hey, Patrick."
"Patrick:  Yes, SpongeBob?",Do you think it will make the game more exciting if we played it with...  two sticks?
"Patrick: Two sticks?! That's against the rules! You can't change the rules, SpongeBob, just because I'm winning!","I'm sorry, Patrick. I'm just so bored playing Stick in a Cup."
"Nathiel Waters:  Are you tired of playing with an old stick and a cup? SpongeBob and Patrick:  Yeah. Nathiel Waters:  Well, say goodbye to boring and hello to whirly brains! The exciting new toy that puts you in the driver's seat of your own mind! It's so simple! Just flip your lid, attach the propeller, and watch your brain soar hundreds of feet into the air as you control the action! Nathiel Waters: Get your whirly brain today and free your mind!",Free my mind! Free my mind! Free my mind! I want it!
"Patrick: No, I want it!","No, I want it!"
"Patrick: No, I want it!","No, it's mine!"
Patrick: I want it! I want it!,"No, it's mine!"
"Patrick: Sorry to hear about your TV, SpongeBob. Nathiel Waters:  Whirly brains available now at Bikini Bottom Toy Shop. SpongeBob and Patrick: Whirly brains! Whirly brains! Whirly brains! Whirly brains! Whirly brains!","Okay, Patrick. Just let me flip your lid so I can attach the propeller directly to your brain. Step one...  Oh, I see what to do. It's just me, Patrick."
Patrick: Oh!,"Now, you do me!"
Patrick: Boo!,"It's time to free our minds! Wow, Patrick! I've never seen the world from this angle before!"
"Patrick:  And the propeller tickles my think folds!  Hey, hey, hey, SpongeBob! Eye bump!","Eye bump! Patrick, no more eye bumps. Okay?"
Patrick:  I feel you. SpongeBob and Patrick: Whirly freeze!,"Hey, Patrick. I know who we can spy on."
Squidward:  The sanctity of my bathroom. The only place in the world where I can...  let it all hang out.  Me...,"Hey, where's Squidward? I'm sure I saw him in here."
"Patrick: Well, maybe he fell in the toilet. I'll check! Patrick: Squidward, are you in here? Did you fall in? Squidward! Squidward: Stop serenading me, you sap! It's my day off! Now, go away!",Found him!
"Patrick: Yep, that's him! Hi, Squidward! Squidward: Aliens from Mars! It's an invasion! SpongeBob and Patrick: Whirly brains are go! Patrick: She spit in his face! Mr. Krabs: Mrs. Puff, we've been dating for 16 years now. So, I was sincerely hoping that today might finally be the day that... Mrs. Puff: Yes, Eugene? Mr. Krabs: Can I steal a little kiss? Mrs. Puff: Oh!  Oh, Eugene! I thought you'd never ask. Mr. Krabs: Come here, you. Mr. Krabs: What a woman! Mrs. Puff:  Oh, Eugene! SpongeBob and Patrick: What was that? Kid: Oh, that smarts!  Bullseye! Patrick: I thought we were the first kids on the block to get whirly brains! Kid: What are you? Thick? Every kid in town's got a whirly brain! Buddy: Daddy, daddy! Can I have a whirly brain too? Fred: Absolutely not, son. Your brain is your body's most important organ, not a toy.","Hooray! Now, we can play whirly brains with the whole neighborhood! Hey, kid! Race ya to the end of the street!"
"Kid: Eat my brainstem slowpoke! Patrick: Get ready, get set, punch it!","Yes! We're gonna beat him, Patrick! We're gonna win!"
"Angry Old Timer: Play your toys into my yard, will ya? Well, they're mine now!","Hey, what's going on? Everything went dark! Uh, Patrick, can you see anything?"
Patrick: Only the dismal abyss of black nothingness.,"Aw, our remote controls are dead too! Oh, Patrick, I don't want to jump to any conclusions here, but I think that we have lost our minds!"
Patrick:  M-O-O-N.  That spells moon!,"Okay, don't panic, Patrick. We'll find them. Just take it easy. Take it easy! PATRICK, TAKE IT EASY!"
"Patrick: I'm taking it easy, SpongeBob.","Our brains are probably right around here somewhere. Uh, here brains! Brains! Here, boy!"
"Patrick: Here, brains!","Brainy, where are you?"
"Patrick: Brain, brain, brain! I think I found it, SpongeBob!","I've found mine too! Oh, darn it. I still can't see."
"Patrick: Yeah, my brain won't fit back in.","Oh, uh, ma'am, you forgot something."
"Nazz: That's okay. You can keep it. Patrick: I'll take it! Patrick: Oh, yeah! Lookin' good!",Ew! Give me that!
"Patrick: Aww, man! That felt all squishy!","Patrick, we need help. Let's call Sandy."
Patrick: Okay. Sandy!,"Patrick, I meant on the phone."
Sandy:  Hello? SpongeBob and Patrick: Sandy! Sandy: Dang. You two sure are lucky that I created this brain detector last summer. I was beginning to think I'd never use this thing.,"Oh, I hope we find our brains soon. They're probably cold and hungry by now. Poor things."
"Sandy: And it looks like you're not the only critters around these parks to lose your minds.  Hmm... And my detector is leading us directly to that house. Sandy: Excuse me, kind sir. Would you mind too terribly if we just came in your house for a minute and looked around for my friend's missin' brains? Sandy: We're gonna take that as a yes. Step lively, fellas! Sandy: This place has a ten-gallon case of the creepies. I wonder what's in... Sandy:  Hey, fellas! I think I've found your brains! SpongeBob and Patrick: Hooray! Angry Old Timer:  Hey! SpongeBob, Sandy and Patrick: Huh? Angry Old Timer: What are you sneak thieves doing into my house? Them brains violated my air space and I'm keepin' them! I'm callin' the cops! Sandy: Sorry nothin'! Look, Old Timer, one false move and I'll be on you like a horsefly on a cracker barrel! Angry Old Timer: Bring it on, Slimmy Whiskers! All twenty-threes can do your bees knees with one nickel, sister! Sandy: Alright! Now you listen to me, you twisted coot! You can't steal somebody's brain just because it flies into your yard! That's brain-napping! And it looks like I'll be the one callin' the police!","Oh, I love it when Sandy gets aggressive. Let's give her some room."
"Fred: Oh, Brainy, you're back!",Whew! I'll never be a no-brainer again!
"Sandy: Everyone has their brains back, so I'm a let it go this time. But if you steal as much as a beach ball, so help me I'll... Angry Old Timer:  I'm sorry, Squirrel Lady! I just couldn't take watching all the kids have fun in the air while I'm stuck here with this crotchety cane on the ground! SpongeBob and Sandy: Aww! Sandy: Well, I think we've got a cure for what ails you. Right, SpongeBob?","Sandy, are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
Sandy: I think I'm thinkin' what you're thinkin'.,Patrick?
Patrick: My think is clogged. Sandy: Sure was nice of you two to donate your whirly brains to the old timer. You fellas did a good deed today.,"Oh, no need to thank us, Sandy. If we can just make one angry old man happy, that and itself is thanks enough. The dignity of the elderly was the victor here today."
"Angry Old Timer:  Look out my dears below! Take a ride on the love copter! Squidward: The Martians are coming! Run for your lives! You're next! You're next! Radio DJ: You've got it tuned to K-O-L-D, K-Old, your all-oldies station. Here's a little something you may remember from the good old days. ♪You're old... Groaning like a geezer♪  ♪Feel yourself a-crackin' like an old has-been♪  ♪Look at yourself, old man, you've got multiple chins♪  ♪'Cause you're old...♪ Pearl Krabs: Good morning, Daddy.  I made you breakfast. Mr. Krabs: Thank you, sweet pea. I see you got creative with the bran today. Pearl: Open up, it's time for the pill. Mr. Krabs: Oh, barnacles! I hate the pill.  Pearl, do you think I'm... old? Pearl: Well, of course I do! But that's okay. Daddies are supposed to be old. Mr. Krabs: But I'm still cool, right? Your old man is cool? Pearl: See, no one says cool anymore. That's such an old-person thing. Now we say coral, as in, That nose job is so coral. Mr. Krabs: Coral, eh? Pearl: Eww, when you say it, it sounds so uncoral. Mr. Krabs: Well, what if I said it with a different inflection? Co-ral. Pearl: Don't you have to go to work or something, Dad? Mr. Krabs: Whoop, you're right!  Have a coral day, honey. Pearl:  Jenny? It's Pearl. Coral is definitely out. Mr. Krabs: Ha! Old? What was I thinkin'? I ain't old. Huh? Boy Scout: Don't worry, Pops, we're almost across the street. Mr. Krabs: Hey, get away from me. I don't need no snot-nosed little...  Sorry you had to see that. Harold: Come on, move it! Could you be any slower? And you've had your blinker on for the last five blocks. Tyler: Hey, mister, could you throw the ball back over here? Mr. Krabs:  Hey, how's about I join you kids? Tyler: Uhh, that's okay. You can keep it. Why do old people always have to ruin the fun? Elderly Fish #1: Hey, no cuttin'! You gotta wait your turn in line like everybody else! Mr. Krabs: No! No! I ain't old like you! I ain't old! I ain't old! Elderly Fish #2: What's his problem? Lou: Next? Timmy: Mommy, my Krabby Patty tastes funny. Mother: Well, no wonder. It's all old and dried out. Like that man right there.  Now put that thing where it belongs... in the garbage. Timmy: ♪La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la la-la-la-la...♪ Mr. Krabs: Well, little patty, we're two of a kind. We've both lost our luster.  Hmmm, so that's what I taste like. Patrick: Good morning, Krusty Krew!","Hey, Patrick! You all ready for the big night out tonight?"
"Patrick:  Yeah, it's gonna rock!",Are you ready to go crazy?
Patrick: I'm already hearing voices!,Are you ready to—
Squidward: SpongeBob! Patrick! Do you mind?!,"Let's continue this conversation in private, Patrick. I think some people are eavesdropping!"
"Patrick: Well, how rude of some people! Mr. Krabs: Hmmm, those youngsters are goin’ out for a big night on the town.",Whoo! I've been lookin’ forward to this night all week!
Patrick: Party!,What do you think we should do first?
"Patrick: What shouldn't we do first? We're young,  we've got wheels,  the world is our oyster! SpongeBob, you got something on your shoulder. Mr. Krabs: Hey, boys, hangin' out? Patrick:  Yes. Mr. Krabs: I couldn't help overhearin’ your big plans. And I was wondering if you had room for one more craaaaazy dude tonight, huh?","Of course. Did you wanna come with us, Mr. Krabs?"
"Mr. Krabs: Oh, hadn't even crossed me mind. But, sure, I'll go! Patrick: I don't know, SpongeBob. He might cramp our style. SpongeBob and Patrick:  Style! Patrick: Let's see if he knows the secret cool-guy handshake. Mr. Krabs: Uhh, yeah, course I know it!  Uhh... uhh... Patrick: I'm waiting... old man. Mr. Krabs:  Uhh... how do you do? Patrick: Fine, and you? All right, you're in. But I'm not happy about it.","You passed the test, Mr. Krabs!"
Mr. Krabs: Great! Why don't you boys show up at my house at eight o'clock?,"I just wanna warn you, Mr. Krabs. We're always fashionably late."
French Narrator: 8:01 PM.,"Hey there, Mr. Krabs! Are you ready to party?"
"Mr. Krabs: Oh, I'm ready to party! Are you ready to party? Patrick: I'm ready to party! Are you ready to party, SpongeBob?","Oh, I'm ready to party! Are you ready to party, Mr. Krabs?"
"Mr. Krabs: I'm ready to par-tay! Are you ready to par-tay, SpongeBob?","I'm ready to par-tay! Are you ready to par-tay, Patrick?"
"Patrick: I'm ready to party! Are you ready to party, Mr. Krabs? Mr. Krabs: I'm ready to party! Are you ready to par- Pearl: Stop it, just stop it! You're embarrassing me, Dad! Mr. Krabs: So, what kind of hot rod will we be cruisin’ in tonight?",Only the most powerful chick magnet in town. The Underwater Heartbreaker.
Mr. Krabs: It's more like a chick repellent. And there's only two seats.,"Calm your waters, Mr. Krabs. I modified this little baby myself."
Mr. Krabs: Are you sure this is what the kids are drivin’ these days?,Only the cool kids.
"Hot rod fish: Hey, you guys must be lost. Doofus Drive is around the corner!","We're not lost, I've got my compass."
"Hot rod fish: So long, dorks!","Goodbye, pals!"
Mr. Krabs: We used to beat people up for sayin’ things like that! Everything's all topsy-turvy now.,Here we are: The Wash.
"Mr. Krabs: They sure are giving these clubs some crazy names! I have to tell you boys... I'm a little nervous. I haven't been, you know, on the scene for quite a while now.","Just follow our lead, Mr. Krabs. And, above all, keep it cool."
Mr. Krabs: Cool. Gotcha.,"Hello, gang! SpongeBob's back!"
"Patrick: Let's party! Mr. Krabs: Any port in the store—! Wait a minute...this is a Laundromat. SpongeBob and Patrick:  Oh yeah, whoo! That's what I'm talkin’ about. Oh, yeah! Yeah, the colors! whoo!",You guys want another rinse cycle? I'm buyin’.
"Mr. Krabs: You know, I love staring at delicates as much as the next guy, but it's just that I thought we'd see more of the nightlife. Somethin’ that'll give you that wild and crazy hot-blooded feelin’, if you know what I mean.","Oh, I know what you mean, Mr. Krabs. This is only stop numero uno on our night of debauchery!"
"Patrick: Debauchery! Mr. Krabs: Debauchery!  Debauchery? I never thought of picking up trash under the highway as hot-blooded, but if it's what the kids are into...","So, are you feeling that wild and crazy feeling, Mr. Krabs?"
Mr. Krabs: Not yet.,"Don't worry, you will.  Are you feeling it now, Mr. Krabs?"
Mr. Krabs: I'm feeling a warm spot. Patrick: Sorry.,"Are you feeling it now, Mr. Krabs? Are you feeling it?"
"Patrick: I'm feeling it, SpongeBob!","Patrick, that's not a ride."
Harold: Get off of me!,"Are you feeling it now, Mr. Krabs?  Are you feeling it now, Mr. Krabs?  Art thou feeling it now, Mr. Krabs?  You're feeling it now, Mr. Krabs?"
Miss Shell:  Shhh!,"How about now? Can you feel it, Mr. Krabs?"
"Kids: Can you feel it, Mr. Krabs? Can you feel it, Mr. Krabs? Can you feel it, Mr. Krabs? Mr. Krabs: So, you wanna know if I can feel it? SpongeBob and Patrick: Yeah! Mr. Krabs: Do you really wanna know if I can feel it? SpongeBob and Patrick: Yeah, yeah! Mr. Krabs: Because I can feel it. You wanna know what I'm feelin'? SpongeBob and Patrick: Yes! Mr. Krabs:  I'm feelin' like a total barnacle head!  You think this is cool?!  How about this!  And this? Am I with it now?  You guys wouldn't know a good time if it bit you in the end! I'm goin’ home. You guys ain't cool. You're lame!",Lame?!
"Mr. Krabs: Lame! You're nerds! Geeks! Creeps! And babies! SpongeBob and Patrick: Not 'babies!' Mr. Krabs: I may be old, but even an old bag of shells like me knows that you haven't suggested one cool thing all night! So good night to ya! Patrick: I guess you're gonna miss the panty raid. Mr. Krabs: The what? Patrick: I said, I guess you're gonna miss the panty raid. Mr. Krabs: Panty raid? You're talkin’ about girls, right? “Girl” girls? Patrick: Yeah. Mr. Krabs: And you're talkin’ about raidin’ their dressers for their underpants, right? Patrick: Oh, yeah. Mr. Krabs: Well, count me in! If this works, I'll take back what I said about you two bein’ lame! SpongeBob and Patrick:  Not lame! Mr. Krabs: Now this is more like it! Patrick: Give us some credit, old man. We're panty professionals!",We score here all the time.
Mr. Krabs: Frilly things! We hit the jackpot!,"Oh, yeah, Mr. Krabs!"
"Mr. Krabs:  You finally came through for me, boys! I feel young again! Mama Krabs: Eugene? Mr. Krabs: Mother? Mama Krabs: What are you doing with my bloomers? Mr. Krabs: Well, I, uhh, uhh, heh,  hehe...  Why didn't you tell me this was my mother's house?!",Why didn't you ask?
"Mr. Krabs:  But it was all SpongeBob and Patrick's idea! Mama Krabs: Go to your room, mister. You're grounded for the rest of the night! Mr. Krabs:  Yes, Mommy. Boy Scout: Don't worry, Pops. We're almost to your room.","Sorry, Mr. Krabs."
"Mr. Krabs:  That's all right, lad. I certainly feel younger.","Good night, Mr. Krabs."
"Mr. Krabs: Good night, SpongeBob. Mama Krabs:  Eugene, lights out! Mr. Krabs: Yes, Mommy. Sandals: Uhh, what do you like better? The coral bits or the nacho oyster skins? Squidward: I like neither. Can I take your order? Sandals: What about the barnacle rings, are they any good? Squidward: No. What will you have? Sandals: Well, uhh, what's your vote on the kelp? Squidward:  Sir, let's just get this out of the way, I hate everything on the menu! Now, what do you want?","Psst, try the coral bits."
"Sandals: Uhh, I'll try the coral bits. Squidward: That'll be one dollar. Sandals: What's going on? Squidward: Something stupid, I'm sure. Mr. Krabs: Yippee!  Whoo-ha! Whoo-ha! Squidward: See? I told you.",What's wrong with Mr. Krabs?
"Mr. Krabs:  Nothing, lad! Do you know what this is?! Squidward: A very dirty dollar? Mr. Krabs: No, this is my one millionth dollar earned. Every Krab's goal in life is to make a million dollars, and now I got mine. Congratulations, sir, you have just given me my one millionth dollar! Sandals: Ha, great. Uhh, what do I win? Mr. Krabs: Nothing, now get out. Sandals: Uhh, what? Mr. Krabs: Get out! Everybody get out, you're spoiling me moment!  Me millionth dollar.","Congratulations, Mr. Krabs."
"Mr. Krabs: Congratulate yourselves, lad. A captain's nothing without his loyal crew. I mean, a crew like you  comes around maybe once in a lifetime! And to reward you for making me millionth dollar, I'm taking you on a trip.","Wow, a trip!"
"Squidward: I can't believe it, Mr. Krabs. Where are we going? Fancy Springs? Mr. Krabs: No... Squidward: Pamper Island? Mr. Krabs: Try again... Squidward: Oh! Oh! Oh! Bikini Bottom Folk Village? Mr. Krabs: Better than that! Squidward: ...clam fishing? This is the reward we get for all our hard work?  Fishing for stinky clams in a smelly old boat on a filthy lagoon? You call this fun? Mr. Krabs: Aww, come on now, Squidward. Three fellas at sea with nothing to do but throw their lines in the water, catch a few clams  then throw them back. Don't you think that's fun? Squidward: No.  And to think I could be wearing a powdered wig right now.","Hey Squidward, you want me to cast out over here so you can watch me?"
Squidward: How about you cast out over there so I can ignore you?,Okay!
"Squidward: Hey, watch where you're swinging that!  SpongeBob, be careful with tha-   AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!  Okay, I've had enough... Mr. Krabs:  Oh, Squidward, you got to lighten up.  Sure the lad's a bit overeager, but you've got to learn to roll with the punches, go with the flow. And don't bring anything on a boat that you ain't prepared to lose.  Me millionth dollar!  SpongeBob, wait! SpongeBob, you hooked me millionth dollar on the back swing! Reel it in before I keelhaul ya.  Oh no. SpongeBob, quick, reel it in! Can't you hear the music? That's a 4/4 string ostinato in D minor! Every sailor knows that means death! Reel it in before it's too late! Hurry, SpongeBob! The music's getting faster!  There you are, you stinking bilge rats. Stop playing that music! Stop it, please! I'm begging ya! Come on, honey, you can make it! Swim faster! Come to me, baby! Come on back! Hurry, SpongeBob!",Here she comes...  ...she made it!
"Mr. Krabs:  For a second or two, I thought she was a goner! Squidward: So, some trip, eh, Mr. Krabs? Mr. Krabs: Oh, Squidward, you're never gonna believe it! A giant blue-lipped clam ate me millionth dollar!  I lost me dollar, and I'll never get it back.  Never, never, never, never, never!",I've never seen Mr. Krabs so broken up.
"Squidward: Oh, please, he's such a drama queen. C'mon, Mr. Krabs, drop the act.  Mr. Krabs, it's just a stupid dollar.  For Pete's sake, Mr. Krabs, suck it up!  Mr. Krabs...  Mr. Krabs...  Okay, okay, Mr. Krabs, we'll help you get your dollar back! Mr. Krabs:  You will? Great! Wait right here.  Here's where clam fishing gets serious.  Okay, you boys man the fishing poles and I'll keep me eyes peeled for Old Blue Lip.","Aye aye, captain!"
"Mr. Krabs: And remember, we don't leave until we catch that clam and rescue me dollar. Squidward:  That's it, I'm finished! We've been here for three days and haven't gotten a nibble! This is hopeless!","Yeah, and I've gotta get home to feed Gary."
"Squidward: We're gonna die out here just because a clam ate Mr. Krabs' stupid dollar.  Well, if he wants his dollar back, I say we give it to him. Know what I mean? Huh? Huh? Huh?","Oh, I get ya."
"SpongeBob & Squidward: Oh, Mr. Krabs! Mr. Krabs!  Look what we've got! Mr. Krabs:  Could it be?  Me millionth dollar?  Whoo-hoo!  Wait a minute...  This isn't me millionth dollar.  This is an ordinary dollar that's been crumpled up, torn slightly, soaked in the lagoon,  and kissed with Coral Blue #2 Semi-Gloss Lipstick.","Actually, it's Coral Blue number t-"
"Mr. Krabs: I trusted you, and you gave me this?! I can't believe me own crew would betray me like this. Squidward: No. Uh-uh. No, we will not be swayed by tears anymore. Mr. Krabs:  I see. Then I guess I have no choice but to offer a reward. Squidward: You're kidding?",Woo! Is it another fishing trip?
"Mr. Krabs: No. It's this sandwich. Squidward: A sandwich? You expect me to break my back over a sandwich? Mr. Krabs: Not a sandwich.  The sandwich. Squidward: Whatever, we've got plenty more to-  ...eat. Mr. Krabs: Now, I think we understand each other. Nobody eats until I get my millionth dollar back! Squidward: Uhh, SpongeBob, can I have a word with you? Have you noticed that Mr. Krabs has gone COMPLETELY INSANE?!?",What do you mean?
Squidward: Just look at him!,"Squidward, he's lost something near and dear to him. Haven't you-"
Squidward: Look again.,You're right. How do we get outta here?
"Squidward: If we're real quiet, we can sneak over to the lifeboat.",Okay.
"Mr. Krabs:  So you thought you'd skip out on old Krabs, did ya? Even after you promised to help me. I know what you're thinking. It's just a dumb old dollar! Let's just leave the old man, he won't notice!  Well, it's not going down like that. There's only one use for a backstabbing crew like you.  Live bait. Squidward: You're crazy! If that clam didn't come before, what makes you think he'll come now? Mr. Krabs:  Oh, he'll come. Squidward: Mr. Krabs, listen, I work with SpongeBob all day long, so I know what I'm talking about when I say...  YOU ARE COMPLETELY OUT OF YOUR MIND!!!  Get us out of here! Mr. Krabs: Come on, fresh meat!  Keep thrashing! He likes it!  Come on, boy! Closer. Closer. Almost there.  That's it!  Aha! Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Look, boys, I finally got it!  I finally got me millionth dollar...!","Oh, poor Mr. Krabs. Gone forever out of our lives.  Why couldn't it have been me?!"
"Squidward: Yes, why couldn't it have been you?!","Why did he have to go like this, why?!"
"Squidward: Why did he have to go like this and leave me tied to this idiot?! Mr. Krabs: Hello, boys! SpongeBob & Squidward: Mr. Krabs? Mr. Krabs: Have you boys met...  ...me millionth dollar?","Wow, how did you get it back?"
"Mr. Krabs: It wasn't easy. Old Blue Lips is quite the fighter, so eventually, we settled on a trade.",What did you give him?
"Mr. Krabs: Nothing important. Squidward: It's quitting time, SpongeBob. Go home.  Quitting time!  Go home!","Oh my. It's time to go home. Squidward, what are you still doing here? What am I gonna do with you? I can't throw you away.  Bleh!  But I do have to throw away the trash. What's this? Someone threw away a book. You shouldn't throw away books.  Ooh, Sandy, you're a trash monster?"
"Sandy: Heck no. I was breaking a record for rooting around in a trash bin. It's all right here in The Guinness O' Ripley Enormous Book Of Curiosities, Oddities, and World Records.  Look-e here, SpongeBob. Staring Record. 5 days. Most fries up nose. Holding your breath.",Wow!
"Sandy: Yes siree! I swear by the power of Texas, I'm gonna break all the records in this here book! Sandy: What's the next challenge?",Let's see. Ooh. World's longest tongue.
"Sandy: Well, that's easy.  106, 107...","Hold tight, Sandy."
"Sandy: ...108, 109, 110!","That's it, Sandy! You did it!"
Sandy: Yeehaw!,Let's see... Yikes! Sweet mother of Pearl!
Sandy: Is it dangerous?,"Yeah, you could say that. You have to eat as much chum as you can."
"Sandy: Chum, huh? That's not too bad.",Raw!
Sandy:  Raw?! Plankton: You want what?,"One order of chum, please."
"Sandy: Raw. Plankton: Look, I know I'm an evil heartless mastermind, but no one can ingest raw chum and survive!","Oh yeah? Well, Charlie Mackeral, the current record holder did."
Plankton: Really?,For 30 seconds.
"Plankton: Well, it's your funeral.","Ok, Sandy, eat up."
"Sandy: Uh, SpongeBob, I changed my mummh...  Must! Make! World! Record!","Sandy, you did it! You survived!  Uh, oh. Hold on, Sandy!  I know just what you need!  A Krabby Patty!"
Sandy: I did it! I'm alive! I can't wait to show them experts the pictures of my record breaking feats.,Oh no! I forgot my camera!
Sandy: What?! SpongeBob! I need photographic proof of my amazing deeds!,I'll go get the camera.
"Sandy: Well, hurry up! I got record breaking to do!",Oh my.
Sandy: Got your camera?,You bet ya!
"Sandy: Great! Take a picture of me chucking this last woodchuck to break the woodchuck chuckin' world record. Ready Cousin Earl? Cousin Earl: Let er' rip darlin'! Record Robot: 100 woodchucks chucked. Record broken! Sandy: Thanks for all your help, cousins!  See you all next Christmas! Bye!","Wow, Sandy! What is all this?"
"Sandy: I've decided to go about this scientifically. I feel with careful planning an precise dedication of appropriate tasks, I can manage the successful completion of the maximum number of records broken in the least amount of time! Book! Picture!",Here you go.
"Sandy: Thank you.  So, what's next? Oh yeah, longest tooth. So how's the calcium fusion going? Robot: It is ready, Ms. Cheeks. Sandy: Outstanding! Here, hold this.  How'd I do? Record Robot: Please hold this end.  35 feet. Record broken!",Ouch!
Record Robot: Take a picture.,Say cheese!
Sandy: Cheese!  Picture!,Here you go.
"Sandy: Thank you. Next, spiciest chili gargle.",Got it! You OK?  Do you smell soup?
Sandy: What's next? Record Robot: Largest rubber band ball. Sandy: Woohoo! What's next? Record Robot: Most cobras milked.,Say cheese!
Sandy: Cheese!,Nice snakes.
"Sandy: Next! Record Robot: Most walnuts in mouth. Sandy: Just! One! More! Oh no!  Next! Record Robot: Most chainsaws juggled. Sandy: Ok, shoot!",Got it! So uh how do you stop?
Sandy: What?,I said How do you stop?
Sandy: What?,How do you stop?
"Sandy: Why that's easy I just stop and run like heck!  Not that way!  Come on, SpongeBob! Pull yourself together! We still got a ton of records to break! Oh yeah! You're gonna love this one!","I don't know, Sandy. It is getting kinda dangerous."
"Sandy: Come on, you don't need your helmet. This one's outside! Follow me.",Oh my.
"Sandy: There it is, the world's largest house of cards!",That's amazing! Get in front so I can take a picture.
"Sandy: Nah, let's get a shot from the top! Patrick: What the...? Oh hey, it's Solitaire! I love this game! I take a touchdown! Sandy: What's next?","Um, I think I smell Gary's sandbox better go clean it. Now!  I think you broke a record today, Gary. World's Stinkiest Litter box! Eww!  I'm worried about Sandy. She's got record-breaking fever!"
Gary: Meow.,You're right. She does need my help. I must stop this madness! It's all that book's fault! The book is evil! The book must be destroyed! Why don't you take 5? I will hold the book.
"Robot: Thank Neptune's gears. My wheels are killing me. Sandy: Hey! Where do you think you're going? Get back in line. I need every available robot for this one. Most Robots built and destroyed in a day. Record Robot: 656, 657... Oh, the artificial humanity. Robot:  Oh no you don't! We're all in this together! Record Robot: 679. Record broken! Sandy: OK shut her down! Robot: Oh my! Sandy: What's wrong with you? Robot: My stomach feels funny. Sandy: Well, let's have a look. SpongeBob!","Oh hey, Sandy."
"Sandy: SpongeBob, what are you doing?","I came to save you from, from this book. I'm going to destroy it before someone gets killed! I don't wanna lose you, Sandy!  I don't wanna lose you!"
"Sandy: Oh, don't be silly, SpongeBob. I'm done with that book! I've beat every record in here. In fact, I've been finding the author who verified my evidence. Author: Thank you.  Yes... Oh my... well then... I'm afraid you've broken no records. SpongeBob and Sandy: Huh? Author: This book is 30 years old. These records were broken ages ago. You however have sent a brand new record: Most injuries sustained while helping a friend. Sandy: Good for you, SpongeBob.","Um, hurray!"
Author: Say cheese!,I thought you left your swim suit at home.
"Patrick: No, I just didn't want to get it all wrinkled up. Last one in is a rotten egg!",Rotten eggs?!
"Shubie: Honey. Nat: Huh? Shubie: You're not using that tan accelerator again, are you? Nat: Oh, don't pretend you don't love it. Craig: Good work, man!  I see you've read my book. Nat: Craig Mammalton? Shubie: The tannest man on TV? Craig:  None other. Sadie: Oh, look at those gorgeous wrinkles. Craig: What, these? Nancy: Oh, and his skin, it's so leathery! Craig: Well, I don't mean to brag, but, uh...",Who's Craig Mammalton?
"Sandals: You don't know who Craig Mammalton is? He's like, so tan! Legend has it that his tan is so deep, that even his bones are a rich caramel brown! SpongeBob and Patrick: Wow! Patrick: His mother must be so proud. Craig: Please, people, please. There'll be plenty of time to admire my body this weekend, at my annual summer shindig.","Wow, Patrick, an invitation to our first summer shindig! And here it is!"
"Craig: Can I help you, little fella?",It seems to be stuck.
"Craig: Yeah, I don't think this is your type of party. I don't want to embarrass you guys... Hey, everyone, check this out!  ...but this party is for the pig-mentally gifted.",Must be this tan to enter.
"Craig: And your skin is as light and smooth as a, well, as a baby's bottom.","Why, thank you."
Patrick: We did put on a few extra coats of sun screen today.,"In fact,  it's time for another coat."
"Patrick: We've gotta look our best. Sandals:  Losers. Craig: You're not coming to my party, without a tan.","There, now that we've turned your rock into a tanning bed, we're sure to get tan enough for the party! Let's just test it out first to be sure."
Both: Hooray! Patrick: Me first! Me first!,"Ooh, Patrick, how do you feel?"
Patrick: Like one of those hip young old folks from a soda commercial. Old Man: It's radical!  Radical!  Drink it!,"My turn!  Remember, Patrick, 15 seconds exactly."
"Patrick: Gotcha, 15 seconds, give or take a few minutes.","No, no, Patrick, 15 seconds exactly! It's really important...  It's working!  Okay, Patrick, I'm done.  Patrick? Patrick, you there?  Patrick?"
"Patrick: What? Did somebody say something? Ladies: Hey, there! Sally: Is that tan for us? Patrick: What?","Uh, Patrick, it's time for me to get out!"
"Narrator: Two hours later... Millie: Do you really have to go, Patrick? Patrick: Afraid so. Bye, girls. Ladies: Bye, Pat. Nazz: Oh, he's so leathery.","Well, Patrick, how do I look?"
"Patrick:  Oh, it's you. You don't look too good.","What, what, what do you mean?"
Patrick: See for yourself.,I must have been under the tanning machine too long!
"Patrick: Ew, what are you going to do?","I'll ask Squidward, he's always so helpful. He'll know what to do.  Hi, Squidward."
"Squidward: What is it now, Sponge--- Ghost! I'm sorry I was so mean to you while you were alive, please don't haunt me!","Oh, I'm not a ghost, Squidward.  I used Patrick's tanning booth, and I stayed under too long."
"Squidward:  Oh, this is too precious! You're sun bleached! Looks like you won't be at the party.  Sun Bleached!","Huh, now I'll never get into that party."
"Patrick: Hey, that's quitter talk, mister! You're going to that party tonight! What you need, is a makeover!  A little Kelp Jerky? Open wide.  What do you think?",I look... amazing! Time to go to the party!  Oh what a cute wittle baby. Cootchie-cootchie-coo.
"Norma: Monster! Patrick: Well, hey, buddy, looks like you could use an ice cream.","Oh, yeah, that hit the spot."
"Patrick:  One caramel sundae, please.","Oh, I think you'll have to go to the party without me, Patrick. There's just no way I can get that golden brown in time. But that's no reason you shouldn't go.  Patrick, why did you..."
"Patrick: Can't talk, working.","No, really, Patrick, what are you...  Ugh. I feel sticky."
Patrick: Take a look.,"Wooh!  Thanks, Patrick!  Uh, I'm stuck."
"Craig: Nice job, Ma'am. Join the party! Ahem, but the baby's going to have to wait outside. Evelyn: But he's the perfect shade of Tropical Toddler. Craig: Yes, but... Evelyn:  Tyler! How could you?! Craig: Now, don't worry, Ma'am, he can wait out here, with the other rejects. Fish: Oh, no tears, son, we'll get in next year. Craig: Next.  Hey, hey, hey! Looks like you two took my advice! Nice job, gentlemen. Come on in!  All right, party people! It's time to roll out the portables.","Oh, no! Caramel, hardening! Gotta get out of here!   Patrick? Patrick?"
Patrick: What?,Can I get a little help here?
"Patrick: Oh, sure thing, pal. Hey, everybody, make some room! The floor's all yours! Knock 'em dead, kid.","No, Patrick, I..."
"Frankie: So bright! Sally: Honey, look away! Fred: Nice job! Harold: Your hideously white skin just ruined the party. I mean, look at you! Do you hug your mother with that skin? Tina: Can you believe this guy crashed your party? Craig? Craig: I have seen this only one other time. It's the ultimate tan! He's...  ...Sun Bleached! Frankie: Sun Bleached?! Craig: This young man... This young hero, should be praised for his dedication to tanliness.  If you guys are feeling it, we should all follow in his footsteps.  Frankie, crank it up! Narrator: Two hours later.","Hey, Patrick. Do you think that maybe too much sun is a bad thing?"
"Patrick: Whatever. I just gooooo with the flow. Squidward:  Oh, thank you for eating at The Krusty Krab.  Can I give you a hand with that, SpongeBob?","Sure. Thanks, Squidward! Gee, looks like playing Kelpy G's music here in the restaurant has really energized him. Wow. Kelpy's music is really, um, unique."
"Squidward: Kelpy's not for everyone. D.J.: That was Kelpy G. Taking you on a trip that is out of this ocean. Hope you fellow Kelpheads got your tickets early 'cause his concert tonight at High Tide Stadium is, sorry, sold out.","Oh! Kelpy G is performing tonight, Squidward. But tickets are…  sorry, sold out."
"Squidward: Oh, how could this be? Whatever shall I do?",You forgot to buy a ticket?
"Squidward: Oh no, I have a ticket. I just don't know what I'll do without you there.  Oh wait, I just realized... I'll be having the greatest time of my life!","Squidward, may I at least gaze upon your ticket?"
"Squidward: Oh yeah. I show you the ticket, and then through some manner of folly, you destroy it!",You're probably not gonna get that back before show time.
"D.J.: This goes out to all those sad sacks without a ticket to tonight’s concert. We're giving away the last two tickets to one lucky caller. Squidward: Oh, the dream is still alive! D.J.: Hey, you are lucky loser number one. Please, try again. Hey, you are lucky loser number five. Please, try again. Hey, you are lucky loser number nine. Please, try again. Twenty-two. Try again. Twenty-seven. Sixty-five. Squidward: Oh, come on! Nothing but a scam. D.J.: Hello! You're winning caller number 102.",I am?
"D.J.: Not only have you won two front row seats, but you and a friend will go backstage to meet Kelpy G himself.","Me and a friend. Hmm, I wonder who that will be. Can you believe it? We're gonna meet your hero, Kelpy G!"
"Squidward: Ah, so nice to be surrounded by such kindred spirits. Female Fan #1: You can say that again. It's a rare treat to mingle with true diehard smooth jazzists.","You said it, lady. I've been a diehard since 10:00 this morning. Who's ready for a Kelpy G concert tonight?!"
Male Fan #1: Was it you who brought the raucous miscreant? Squidward: Me? No. Of course not. No. Squidward: See all you fellow Kelpheads at the show. Female Fan #1: Just keep your friends outbursts under control.,"Isn't this so much fun, Squidward? Wow, I love your Kelpy G wig, sir."
"Male Fan #2: What wig? Squidward: Come on, SpongeBob. SpongeBob's obnoxiousness is ostracizing me from all these other fans. Somehow I gotta give him to slip.","Whoa, just look at that lemonade line."
"Squidward: That's it. Hang on, SpongeBob. I need a rest. My throat is parched. I sure wish I knew where one could procure some lemonade.",Yeah.
"Squidward: I said, I wonder where someone could get some lemonade.",Yeah.
Squidward: It's right behind you SpongeBob!,Oh! Why don't I get one for you?
"Squidward: Oh, no. Dear me. Oh, no. I could not have you wait in that long line, SpongeBob.","It's no problem, Squidward, really, I—"
"Squidward: Well, okay, if you insist.","Alright. One lemonade, coming up."
"Squidward:  See you after the show, Spongee-G. Squidward:  Ah, Turquoise Scallop Sun Dance. I just love this tune. Male Fan #3: Hey hey, a fellow mellow jazz-dazzler. What's happening? Squidward: Just grooving to the soothing waves of the Gentle G. Male Fan #3: I'm picking up what you're laying down. You can groove with us any time. Squidward: Don't mind if I do groove.",Look what I found!
Squidward: What the…? What?,"Guess what? There's a second lemonade stand! Hey, nice tune.  Nothing like a little accompaniment meant to bring out the genius of Kelpy's kazoo playing, huh, guys?"
"Male Fan #3: Kazoo? Your friend knows absolutely nothing of Kelpy G, man!",Are you friends with Squidward?
Male Fan #3: Friends? I should think not. We only associate with true jazz-dazzlers. Squidward: But I dazzle. Oh.,"Whoo! Kelpy, yeah! Put your hands together, people."
"Squidward: Oh, boy. Female Fan #2: Hey, Sponge! Would you just sit down and shut your mouth? Male Fan #4: Well, thank you for speaking up. Announcer: Hello, all you snazzy jazzlers. Please put your thumbs and forefingers together and give a warm welcome to the pied piper of jazz himself— Kelpy G. Male Fan #5: Bravo! Bravo! It's so exciting!",Wow!
"Squidward: Such immaculate music. It's the very voice of Neptune himself. Patrick:  Excuse me, sir, do you have any ketchup? Squidward: No I don't — ketchup?","Patrick, what brought you here?"
"Patrick: Two words, SpongeBob— na chos. Squidward: Two words, Patrick— get lost. Patrick:  What's that? Squidward: Oh, no, you don't, Patrick. You stay away from my backstage pa— huh?","It's okay, Squidward, you're the biggest Kelpy G fan I know. Please, take my backstage pa—"
Patrick: Tummy want more.,"Oh, boy."
"Squidward:  I'm going to get those passes back even if I have to rip Patrick in half.  What the...? Patrick:  I would like two extra cheesy nachos with a side of cheese and two vanilla coral shakes.  Actually, make that two cheese coral shakes. And instead of whipped cream on top, I'll take cream cheese on the bottom. That's it for now. Security Fish #1: Get 'im! Male Fan #6: You're so light. Squidward: Hey, come back here with those backstage passes. Crew Member: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Where do you think you're going? Squidward: But our friend just took our— Crew Member: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't care about the whosits or the whatsits. Clear the aisle and go back to your seat. Squidward: Oh, well, at least we still have our seats. Big Squid: You got a problem, tentacle head? Squidward: Yeah, I got a problem. Those are my seats, you numbskull. I'm gonna rant for a while. You're just gonna sit there, aren't ya?  You're not gonna move along. We waited long and hard for this—  Tonight's ruined. A complete disaster. And I didn't even meet Kelpy G. Patrick: Keep it jazzy, Miles. And thanks for the grub. Squidward: We're in, SpongeBob. Now I'll finally get to meet the incomparable Kelpy G. Milo J. Fingerfish: Hey, this is a private area. Only people with backstage passes can come back here.","Oh, well, you see, sir, we had backstage passes. But my friend ate them with his nachos, then he dove off the stage and got carried away by the audience."
"Milo J. Fingerfish: What are you talking about? I'm Kelpy G's manager. Now read my lips. Squidward: No backstage passes, no entry. Milo J. Fingerfish: And no seeing Kelpy G, got it? Squidward: Oh, please, please, let me see him. Please. Please. Please! Milo J Fingerfish: Get up, man. Have some dignity. Squidward: But, but, but… what if I told you, uh… I'm a clarinet player myself.  I call this one, Ninth Movement, A Kaleidoscope of Stars. Wait. Hold for it.",Oh! Oh!
"Crew Member: Right this way, Mr. G. Kelpy G: Another show, another intermission. Crew Member: Your dressing room is right over here, sir. Kelpy G: Hold on a smooth second. Crew Member: Who let those two back here? That sounds horrible. I'll get 'im right out. Kelpy G: No, no. I agree. The clarinet sound abysmal, but that ukulele. Genius. And his clogs. They're just like mine, see? Excuse me, young man. Squidward: Hello, Kelpy. It's great to finally meet— Kelpy G: And what might you be called?",SpongeBob SquarePants.
"Kelpy G: Come, young protege, let us woo the crowd with sounds of heavenly delight.  At this time, I'd like to welcome a very special guest to the stage — Mr. SpongeBob SmoothPants. Squidward: This isn't fair. I should be on stage, not SpongeBob. I'm the mega-talent. I'll show you, Kelpy.  But I'm a musician! Squidward: Huh?",Hey. Whatcha doing?
Squidward: I'm busy.,How busy would you say you are on a scale of eight to nine?
Squidward:  Fourteen!,"Squidward, I'm no mathematologist, but that sounds like a lot!"
Squidward:  It is!,"Okay, quick survey. Are you busy busy, or just busy?"
"Squidward: What's busy busy? Squidward: No, no, no, no, no! Don't tell me! Don't tell me! Don't tell me anything, don't even tell me what you're doing here!",I found a jump rope!
Squidward:  I said not to tell me!  You're ruining my perfect afternoon. I'm spending some quality time with someone who's very important to me.,Oh! Who's the lucky...
"Squidward:  Perfectly brown toast points.   Sparkling kelp juice.   Here's to me!  D'oh! That simpering buffoon! Squidward's reflection In glass: You have a great vocabulary. Squidward: I know. Squidward's reflection: Indubitably. Squidward:  Go away! Norton: Okay. Squidward: Wait. I thought you were some other idiot. Norton: No. I guess I'm just this idiot. Norton: Why, it's beautiful. Squidward: You are cordially invited to the fanciest and shmansiest artistic event of the season: The opening of Galleria Diphtheria. Oh, I've heard of that! Bikini Bottom's most exclusive fine arts showcase. This invitation guarantees the admittance of Squidward Tentacles--  --Squidward Tentacles...  ...'Ploos Oh-nay.' Norton: Ah, it's a plus one. Squidward: Ahh! What are you still doing here? Norton: It's not ploos oh-nay. It says plus one! Squidward: Plus one! Oh, yeah, of course! Plus one!  Sure!  What's a plus one? Norton: Well, when you get an invitation to a party, sometimes, they put plus one on it to tell you it's okay to bring along a friend. Squidward: Do you have to do it? Norton: Well, no, you could go alone. It's just that everyone will laugh at you 'cause they think you're a friendless loser. Squidward: What? Do you want me to call your supervisor and tell him you're just standing around? Squidward's reflection: You need to find a friend to take as your plus one.",Somebody like me? I like openings.
"Squidward: No, not like you!","Come on, jump rope. I guess it's just you and me."
"Squidward: Let's see here. Friends... Squidward:  Friends, friends... Squidward: Hm. Yeah, I wonder if I still have my receipt for this thing. No big deal. Anybody can make a friend by...  ...tonight?!  Let's see. There must be someone who's a real part of your life, Squidward. Who do you see every single day? Who do you know like the back of your suction cups? Squidward: But, of course! It's so simple. Squidward: SpongeBob, I have something to ask you.",Of course I'll go to the opening with you!
Squidward: That wasn't the question. Which way did the mailman go?,"Oh, he said he had a package for the Widow Duncan. I think he went..."
"Norton: And then you just initial there, and we're all set. Squidward: Hey, there you are! Norton: Not in the face! Squidward: What? What are you... Oh!  You always were a big kidder, huh?  Mailman  guy? Norton: Actually, I'm not a kidder. I'm much more of an introvert. Squidward: I love introverts! Why, I'm an introvert! Norton: You are? Squidward: Say, I bet we have a lot in common. Norton:  Yeah, I don't know. I'm just a regular guy. But in not being a mailman, I love going to fancy art galleries. Squidward: That's me! Norton: And eating delicious food. Squidward: Oh, delicious food is my favorite kind of food! Especially when that delicious food is something you can... Both: Spread on a toast point! Squidward: Once you've had pointed toast, you just never want any other kind. Norton: Right? And if there's one thing I hate, it's... Squidward:  SpongeBob! Norton:  Clarinets! Squidward: Yeah, I know it... What? Norton: I mean, what kind of maniac could enjoy the sound of a clarinet? That squeaky, hollow, kind of piercing howl from the very pits of Gehenna. Only a deluded blow-hard with nothing to lose could pick up a  clarinet and think Yeah! This is for me! Let me inflict this pain on the world!  Am I right, buddy? Heh. Uh. Norton: Buddy?  Stupid, stupid, stupid! Why are you so darn opinionated, Norton? All you do with your searing and abnormal honesty is drive everyone away! When's Norton's time? When's Norton's time to shine?! Widow Duncan: Oh, Norton! I've always taken a shine to you. Squidward: Oh, you think you know a guy?  Oh, who are you kidding? It's not in the cards for you. I bet not even this old tin can would be my friend.",I'll be your friend.
Squidward:  Who is this?,"It's me, SpongeBob."
Squidward: SpongeBob!,Yes? I'm still here.
Squidward: I need to ask you something important.,You don't have to ask me three times.
Squidward: Will you tell Larry I want to talk to him?,Oh. Okey-doke.
"Larry: So, Squidward, what do you wanna talk about? Squidward: Well, it's, uh, kind of hard to put into words. Larry: Oh, I've been there, amigo. Squidward: You have? Larry: Sure. But nothing clears the sawdust out of your brains quicker than a ride on a jet ski. Larry: Ever been on one of these little babies? Squidward: Um, no. The.. they always seemed a little sporty for me. Larry: Well, you only live once. And I just happen to have an extra helmet. Squidward: What the heck? Unnamed fish: Hey! Squidward: We make quite a team! Larry: I'll say! Squidward: You know, earlier today, I met a jerk who said he didn't like clarinet music. Larry: Hey, you know, that's very uncool. What kind of thoughtless ding-dong would knock another man's passion? Squidward: You know, you're alright, Lester. Larry: It's Larry. Squidward: Whatever. The point is, do you want to go with me to a gallery opening tonight? Larry: Well, that's not my kind of thing at all, but... for you, sure. I'll just need to stop by the apartment and make myself a protein shake. Squidward: What?! You don't need that glop! Larry: Oh, I wouldn't call it glop. Protein shake saved my life, bro. Squidward: Oh, come on. It's a fad. You don't wanna be one of those mindless rubes who marches around in a constant haze of stupidity. I love protein shakes. I'm the most gullible rube on the planet. Duh! Duh! Duh! Give me my stupid protein shake. Squidward:  I mean... Squidward: So, are we still on for tonight? Sevenish? Squidward:  I guess it's just you and me again. Squidward:  What are you doing here?",Just playing draggy rope. You wanna play?
Squidward: No.,"You hold on to one end of the rope and you drag it behind you like a sea snake is chasing you, like this. Wanna play?"
Squidward: Just get me out of here!,Will do.
Squidward: Thanks.,Anything for a friend.
"Squidward: Friend? Squidward: Would you be my plus one? Squidward: Come on, SpongeBob. Perch Perkins: And here comes Squidward Tentacles and what must be either a bizarre piece of performance art or the saddest display of loneliness it has ever been my displeasure to report. One is inclined to suspect the second thing I said. A thing about sadness! Squidward's reflection: You'll always be my plus one! Squidward: Aww! Narrator: Boat Smarts with Mrs. Puff. This driving film is brought to you by: C.O.B.B.U.T.K.S.B.S.P.O.T.R.A.O.O.B.A.T. Citizens Of Bikini Bottom United To Keep SpongeBob SquarePants Off The Road And Out Of Boats All Together. Mrs. Puff: Good day, future motorists. I'm Mrs. Puff, state accredited boating instructor. Today, we'll be discussing the differences between a driver with boat smarts. Squidward: Ripping good day for a spot of driving. Mrs. Puff: And a driver without boat smarts.","Hey, Squidward! Look at what I can do with my feet!"
"Mrs. Puff: Let's see some examples, shall we? Tire Pressure.  Before you can even think about boating, the boater who uses boat smarts always fills his tires to the appropriate level.  While this driver pays no need to boat smarts.  Buckling Up.  As demonstrated by this driver, he has enough boat smarts to use his seat belt and avoid a serious casualty as a result of a collision.  Notice how he comes gently to a stop sign.  Now this driver, with no regard for safety.  Well, at least he had his seat belt on.  Adjusting Your Mirrors. What's our boat smarts boater up to now?  You guessed it. He's adjusting his mirror before he begins boating, unlike this degenerate boater.","Ah, perfect."
"Squidward: Hey, use your mirrors, fool!","Mirrors? Oh, that reminds me. I haven't adjusted this one yet."
"Squidward: Ah! Can't see! D'oh!  Ow. Mrs. Puff: Finally, and most importantly, a driver with boat smarts always pays attention to his surroundings and avoids distractions. Notice how this driver's eyes are locked firmly on the road.  And here we have the epitome of a driver who is carelessly distracting himself from the road and safety. Norma:  Jerk!",Hi there!
Nat: Help! Lunatic driver!,How's it going?
"Fish:  I can't feel my hair. My leg! Mrs. Puff: SpongeBob, I mean, a boater without boat smarts shows contempt for his boater brethren and the law.","Lalalalalalalalala! Whee!  Hi, Squidward. Hi, Mrs. Puff. Looks like you guys forgot your boat smarts!"
Mrs. Puff: Never mind.,"Ooh, this grass feels great between my toes. Hey, Patrick, are you enjoying our early morning nature hike?"
Patrick: It's cutting into my early morning nature nap.,"Come on, Patrick. If you want to stay healthy, you have to embrace nature!"
Patrick: Okay! Both: Ooh!,Cool ice cave!
Patrick: Ohhhhhhh...  This whole place is a frozen treat!,"No, Patrick! Don't lick the ice, you're gonna get stuck!"
Patrick: Uh. Now he tells me.,"Okay, Patrick. Everything is going to be fine. Just don't panic."
"Patrick: I panicked, SpongeBob.",Don't worry! Hot chocolate solves everything.
Patrick:  Hot! Hot! Hot!  Hot! Agh! Spongy Spongy: Uh...?,"Okay, Patrick. That's enough nature for you today."
"Spongy Spongy: Oh? Ah.  Squeaky, squeaky! Spongy Spongy:  Mehh.","See ya later, Patrick.  Gary, I'm home!  Boy, this backpack got heavy."
Gary: Meow! Gary: Meow. Spongy Spongy: Ah!,"Boy, those nature hikes really put hair on my tongue."
Spongy Spongy: Agh-agh-agh! Spongy Spongy:  Squeaky! Squeaky! Spongy Spongy:  No squeaky.,"I'm on my way to work, Gary. See ya tonight!"
Gary: Meow? Spongy Spongy:  Squeaky! Squeaky!,"Ah! Good morning, Squidward!"
Squidward: It was.  Agh!,I do relish...  making the relish!
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob!  SpongeBob!,"Yes, Mr. Krabs?! You called me?"
"Mr. Krabs: Can you step into the dining room for one moment, son?","Huah! Wha-wha-wha-wha-huah! Front and center, and ready for duty, sir!"
"Ivy: That's the man who smashed my mailbox, officer! Mr. Krabs: Well?","No, Mr. Krabs, I'd never do something like that!"
"Mr. Krabs: Of course you wouldn't! It's just this loser's word against yours, boy-o. They can't convict you for that.",Phew.
"Evelyn: He ruined my fountain! Cara: Yeah, yeah! That's the guy! Bikini Bottom Police Sergeant: Mr. SquarePants, I'm afraid you're under arrest.","But—but, Mr. Krabs, I didn't do anything. I was framed! It wasn't me!"
"Mr. Krabs: Don't worry, boy-o! I'm right behind you!  Look alive, Mr. Squidward!  I'm gonna visit SpongeBob in the big house. You are manning the grill! Squidward:  Ow! Spongy Spongy: Ah?  Agh! Squidward: They let you out already? Ugh, you look terrible, SpongeBob!  Well, get the food ready. It's almost time for lunch! Spongy Spongy: Food? Spongy Spongy: Agh! Squidward: Well, it's about time! Customers: This is ridiculous! Is this a restaurant or a garage? Spongy Spongy: Huh? Squidward: SpongeBob, what did you do? The patties taste horrible! Everybody hates them! Spongy Spongy: Unh... Squidward: What the—  SpongeBob's gone crazy! Run for your lives! Spongy Spongy:  Spongy! Spongy! Perch Perkins: This is Perch Perkins live at the Krusty Krab, where we understand that a local fry cook has just gone nuts. Perch Perkins:  Ooh! This just in... Ow! Mr. Krabs: Why did you have to go nuts on company time, boy-o? I'm gonna lose so much money.","I didn't go nuts, Mr. Krabs. They must've mistaken me for someone else. I'm innocent!"
"Spongy Spongy: Oh? Squeaky, squeaky? Mr. Krabs: Save it for the judge, boy-o. Come clean! Nobody else even looks like you! Mr. Krabs: Except that guy. Spongy Spongy:  Squeaky, squeaky! Squeaky, squeaky! Perch Perkins: Local scientists now believe that the rampaging fry cook is actually a prehistoric cave sponge, once thought to be extinct. Officer Rob Johnson: Ah! Get him off!",See? I didn't destroy any property! It was that cave sponge! Aw. He's just lost and scared. He just needs another sponge to talk to.
"Perch Perkins: Shortly thereafter, Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob went to City Hall to confront the wild beast. Mr. Krabs: We did?","Don't worry, officer. I'm a fellow sponge. He'll listen to me."
Spongy Spongy: Unh?,Ooh?  SpongeBob. SpongeBob!
Spongy Spongy: Unh. Spongy Spongy.,Oof! Now we're getting somewhere! Sooo...can you please go downstairs now and turn yourself in to the police?
Bikini Bottom Police Sergeant: Hello!,"Okay, Spongy Spongy, I respect that. I'll leave you alone."
"Spongy Spongy:  Uh.  Oh! Squeaky, squeaky!","Oh, you like that, huh?  Ah! Spongy Spongy, wait! Wahh! Well, I talked him down. Hooray. Oh, please don't put Spongy Spongy in jail!"
Bikini Bottom Police Sergeant: Nobody's gonna put him in jail son. He just saved the town millions by demolishing City Hall. It was due to come down next week.,Ah! Spongy Spongy is free!
"Spongy Spongy:  Spongy Spongy. Spongy Spongy! Perch Perkins: And so, the savage beast finally soothed, life in Bikini Bottom returns to normal...if only for this episode. This is Perch Perkins— Ow!  For Bikini Bottom News. Patrick: Where's your best friend now, SpongeBob?","Well, according to this T shirt, it says my best friend is right here."
Patrick:  How about now?,"Right by my side.  Wow, clothing that announces our feelings for each other.  Let's get them, Patrick."
Shubie: Can I help you boys?,"I believe you can. My best friend and I would like to purchase...  Patrick, why are you crying?"
Patrick: You...found a new best friend.,"Oh, what are you...  Wait, no, this isn't what it looks like! Patrick, look out, behind you!!"
"Nazz: Excuse me, but does this come in... Patrick: Noooo! You're not my best friend!","We’ve gotta ditch these outfits! They're sending out the wrong signals! We need new outfits to show our best friendiness, Pat."
Patrick: You mean like those guys?,"Yeah, just like those guys.   Best friend outfits like these really make a statement."
Patrick: Look at these guys!,"Wow! I like that one. Hey, mister, where did you and your friends get your matching outfits?"
"Bill: Oh, no, these aren't my friends. In fact, I hate just about everyone here, but my love for historical battles is so great, I join these losers every year to re-enact the battle of Bikini Bottom.",There was a battle of Bikini Bottom?
"Patrick: Well, duh, SpongeBob. It's only the most significant event in Bikini Bottom history! A long time ago, the town was divided into 2 groups  Those who spent all their time washing their hands like softies Nathiel Waters: Clean as a whistle! Patrick: And those who had more important things to do with their time. Colonial Patrick: That looks good to me. Nathiel: That is truly disgusting! Colonial Patrick:  Oh, yeah? Nathiel: You can't go around our town touching things with those filthy mitts! Colonial Patrick: Oh, yeah?! Nathiel: Yes! Red Group: Wash your hands! Blue Group: Never! Patrick: And that's how we won our right to wash as we please. Bill:  Oh, that's not what happened.","You don't wash your hands, Patrick?!"
"Patrick: Never have, never will.",Echhh!
"Patrick: Does that bother you, huh, SpongeBob?  They only had one ice cream cone.","That's okay. Thank you, friend.  So, anyway, I said..."
"Patrick:  Oh, wait. You've got something on your tongue.",Really?
"Patrick: Here, I'll get it.","Thank you.  Frankly, yes, Patrick, that does bother me."
"Patrick: Well, then I guess we can't be friends.",What are you saying?
"Patrick: Ugh, do I have to spell it out for you?  U... R... huh... How do you spell not my friend?","Oh, come on, we can work this out. We'll start a new life, just you, me, and this can of disinfectant spray.  Come on in, Patrick. Here, let me take your coat for you."
"Patrick: No, thank you.  I happen to like my various smells and germs.",But being clean is so much better.
"Patrick: Well, says you. I like dirty.",Clean!
Patrick: Dirty!,Clean!
"Harold: Excuse us, but we have a battle to re-enact.","Fine, if that's how it is, then  I am joining the other side!"
"Patrick:  Fine, me too! Harold: Ah, come on! Let's go play somewhere else.",Ha! Got your nose!
"Patrick: Hey, give it back!",Not until you wash your hands!
"Patrick: Oh, yeah? Well  I got your eyeballs!","Eww, brain juice!"
Patrick:  Do you give up yet?,"Sorry, Patrick , but a filthy slob like you is no match for a clean-cut fellow like me."
Patrick: Your pants are falling down.,Really?
Patrick: I'll fix it.,Satisfied?
"Patrick: There, you look good now.","You could use a makeover, though. Ugh, look at those feet."
"Patrick: Why, what's wrong with them?","Don't worry, I'll take care of it."
"Patrick: No! Not a pedicure!  No, no, not that, anything but tha-- Nail polish?!  You sick little monster, face my morning breath!","You, sir, could use some dental hygiene!"
"Patrick: Who, me? My teeth are fine, see?","A little toothpaste, and you'll have teeth like mine.  You got to brush in little circles!"
"Patrick:  Minty fresh! Taste pit, evildoer!!","You're a stinky, stinky sea star. I think you could use a shot of...this!"
"Patrick: No! No, not...not deodorant! Patrick:  My beautiful pit stink, it's gone! The gloves are off now.  It's booger time!","Oh, booger, schmooger, you don't even have a nose."
"Patrick: Oh, yeah?","Booger!  Run, Mr. Krabs! Patrick is digging for gold!"
Mr. Krabs: Gold? Heehee! Squidward: Did you get any of Patrick's gold? Mr. Krabs: He's not digging for any gold I'm looking for. Patrick: Ha! I got you now!,"Careful, Patrick, I got a weapon!"
Patrick:  Raw onions?!  That does it!  See this?,"A Krabby Patty? What are you going to do, eat it?"
"Patrick: Oh, I'm not going to eat it.","No, not patty socks!"
"Patrick: That's right, your precious patties on my stinky feet!",You better stop that!
"Patrick:  Stinky, little feet!",You stop that right now!
"Patrick: Hopping...  ...Clams!  Hey, I got my filth back!","Not for long, Mr. Sticky-Shorts! You won't have your filth once I use this on you!"
"Patrick:  No, not soap! You wouldn't dare!",Try me!
"Patrick:  Stay back, I'll do it!",It's too late for that!
Patrick:  My beautiful filth! It's gone! I'm squeaky clean!,I'm covered in muck and scum!
"Patrick: Man, to get my filth back, I'll have to wallow in mud forever!",It'll take weeks for me to get clean. I'll need twenty baths a day!
Patrick: Slather toe jam on my armpits?,I'll have to disinfect my eyeballs!
Patrick: Smear slime on my teeth?,And dry-clean my uvula!
Both: All right!,"Now that I'm filthy, I can spend all day getting clean."
"Patrick: And since I'm clean, I can get even filthier! Thanks, SpongeBob!","No, Patrick, thank you."
"Both:  You're my best friend ever! Bill: Hey, what's going on here? This battle isn't over until we have a winner.","Fret not, my friend, for I have learned the truth. It matters not whether one is dirty or clean, for can cleanliness exist without filthiness, and would we know filthiness without cleanliness? We must not re-enact the history that divides us, rather we must embrace that which draws us together. All must be free to choose their own path. Right, friend Patrick?"
"Patrick: Squeaky clean, squeaky, it's squeaky.","Mm-hmm, he has embraced the truth."
Bill: Wow! I think the little yellow guy has taught us a valuable lesson.,"And what is that, my son?"
"Bill: That re-enacting battles is really lame!  Come on, guys, let's play something more manly, like football! Harold: Or hockey! Thaddeus: Or knitting fluffy sweaters!","Come, Patrick, my work here is done."
"Customer: One monster Krabby Patty, please. Squidward: Hmph, no one's ordered the monster Patty in ages. SpongeBob, one monster Krabby Patty.",Did you say a monster Krabby Patty?!
"Squidward: Uh, One monster Krabby Patty. Mr. Krabs: HUH?! Monster Krabby Patty?! Customers: Monster Krabby Patty?! Customer #2:  Monster Krabby Patty?!","Oh, dear Neptune."
"Squidward: Oh, boy.","We can do this. At the count of three, we flip. Ready? One, two, three.  Spat?"
"Therapist: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Go on. Mr. Krabs: Well, we better get back to work.",Work? How can I go back to work without... without Spat?!
Mr. Krabs: Use another spatula'r.,"WHAT?! There is only one spatula for me, and that is Spat. Spat, wait up! Spat!  I'm coming, Spat! Oh, Spat, we've been through so much together."
"Doctor: There’s no easy way to say this. SpongeBob, if I were you, I would give serious consideration to start thinking about a replacement spatula. Doctor: Go home. Get some rest. We'll try to do everything we can.","Thank you, Doctor."
"Doctor: Oh, I'm not a doctor. I'm an actor who's searching for a role. Yes! Woohoo! I am so totally gonna get this part.",Replacement spatula? How can anything ever replace... HEY! Look at that! Ooh. Looks fancy. So shiny. All those lines so sleek. What am I talking about? I don't need this.  Maybe I do need this.
Doctor:  I would give serious consideration to...  a replacement spatula.,OW!
"Employee: Uh-uh! No touchy-touchy the Le Spatula! It is very, very expensive.",I'm sorry.
"Employee: Of course, if you purchase this fine item, you may... hold it.","I've got some loose change in my pocket, will this cover it?"
Employee: Umm...  ...no.,How about now?
Employee: No.,Now?
Employee: No.,Now?
Employee: No.,That's everything I have. Now can I buy Le Spatula?
"Employee: Everything, huh?  Nice outfit.","Evening, sir. Hey, granny, what's shaking?  Ooh, breezy today."
"Squidward:  Nice outfit, SpongeBob!","Thanks, Squidward. It was worth every penny."
"Mr. Krabs: What's all the lallygagging about? Squidward:  Mr. Krabs, get a load of SpongeBob. Mr. Krabs: This better be good.","Soon, everyone will know of your beauty."
"Mr. Krabs: Alright, what's going on in  ...ooh... Don't you have any shame, boy?","All my shame went into here, Mr. Krabs."
Mr. Krabs: Le Spatular! What in blazes is that?,"Oh, just the answer to our little production dilemma."
"Mr. Krabs: Well, what can it do? Squidward: Can it make me famous?",Anything you want and more.
"Mr. Krabs: Ooh, that sounds exciting. Let me have a go at it.","Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Krabs, no can do."
Mr. Krabs:  What? Are you going against your commanding officer?,"No, it's not that. It's just that this is a highly developed piece of engineering that takes quality time to master."
"Mr. Krabs: With that fancy machinery, I expect you to make Krabby Patties twice as fast.","Oh, I don't think that'll be a problem, Mr. Krabs. In fact..."
"Le Spatula:  Le Spatula 3000 at your service! Mr. Krabs: Huh, impressive. Well, let's see that thing impress me even more by bringing in more customers and more money in me pocket.","Oh, you won't believe what Le Spatula is capable of. Ready to show ‘em, buddy?  Oh, it's okay. No need to be shy. It's always tough the first day on the job."
"Wobbles: Uh, can I get one Krabby Patty, please? Squidward: SpongeBob, I need one Krabby Patty.","One Krabby Patty, coming up lickety split.  Spat, is there something wrong, pal?"
"Le Spatula: I would not dare touch such slop as this, how you say, Krabby Patty. I am designed for the up most interesting cuisine. No less!","But, but, I thought we were friends."
"Le Spatula: Friends with you?! Ha! We are not even in the same social class.  Have a nice life of mediocrity, fry cook!","Le Spatula, wait. I gave up everything for you. We had something."
"Le Spatula: How's that for something? Au revoir, peasants! Have fun laboring in your greasy spoon. Mr. Krabs: What happened?","Le Spatula is gone, Mr. Krabs."
"Mr Krabs: Well, how are you gonna make Krabby Patties WITHOUT A SPATULAR?!","I had a spatula once. A real spatula. One that stood by me through thick and thin, through grease and gristle, and I betrayed his loyalty, like a fool!"
Mr. Krabs: I always did like your old spatular. It got the job done every time.,"You're right, Mr. Krabs. The true measure of a good spatula is by his actions. Not by some fancy chrome and buttons. I gotta find my old spatula."
"Mr. Krabs: Go to em. Go now, boy. Go before I lose all me customers.",Spatula? It can't be true. It's too late!
"Doctor: SpongeBob, I hate to tell you this...",I know. He's moved on to the big kitchen drawer in the sky. He's gone!
"Doctor: Actually, it's not that. I didn't get the acting part.","Oh, I'm so sorry."
"Doctor: Oh, by the way, that's not your spatula. Your buddy's all patched up in the infirmary.","Spatula!  Oh, buddy! Oh, I'm so glad you're better!  Spatula, what's wrong?  But I didn't mean to betray you. Mr Krabs needed a replacement. Krabby Patties don't flip themselves, you know. It was a moment of weakness. I'm sorry! Oh, what have I done?! What have I done?!  : All that glitters is not gold. Goodbye, best friend! I'll never find another spatula like him again.  Spatula? You're back!  Oh, spatula, now that we're together again, nothing will ever separate us."
Squidward: One monster Krabby Patty.,"Okay, buddy, we can do this. Ready? One, two, three.  D'oh!"
Patrick:  You see him?,"Nope.  Oh, wait, now I do."
Patrick:  What's he doing?,"Um, just kinda sitting there."
Patrick: How about now?,"Still just like kinda sitting there, same thing."
Patrick: How long have we been watching?,What time is it now?
Patrick: 2:30.,"4 days. Patrick, it's moving!"
Patrick: Ready to go for it?,"Like Mr. Krabs says, it's now or never!"
Patrick: When does he say that?,Usually on his way to the Men's room. Bunsai!
"Patrick: Hey, that's usually what I say!","Patrick, he's taking evasive action."
Patrick: We better fake him.,"I'll fake left, you go right!"
Patrick: Roger that!,"Other right, Patrick!"
SpongeBob and Patrick:,"Ow, I think I ruptured a spleen..."
Patrick: I think I shattered my abacus.,Your what?
Patrick: My abacus.  Nope. Seems okay...,"Patrick! There it goes! Don't stop now, Patrick, we're gaining on him!"
"SpongeBob and Patrick: Cletus:  Well, it's now or never.",Ehhh.
"Trenchbilly: You boys are mighty colorful, a smidget too colorful, if ya' ask me. Cletus:  And too darn heavy, if ya' ask me.","Well, actually Patrick has been trying to shed a few-"
"Cletus: Tell it to Ma Angler... Trenchbillies: Ma Angler: Now tell me there, what was it y'alls was doin' down yonder at the outhouse in the first place? Cletus: I dun told ya', Ma, thar I was doin' my duty, just like any other Sunday... Cletus:  Well, it's now or never...  When not so much as a warning shout, these here varmints dun dropped, right out of the wild, black yonder, smack-dab onto my noggin! Darn there givin' me a crik in the neck it has to.",We're really sorry about interrupting your-
"Jordan Klein: Y'all hush up! Ma Angler: Now Cletus, is this another one of your tall tales, you tend to tell? Cletus: I-I-I swears I ain't fibbin', Ma! Ma Angler: Cletus. Cletus: Just ask Uncle Belcher. He'll tell you the whole story. Uncle Belcher: Cletus: See. Ma Angler: Well, I must admit one thing, they is awfully perty... Nevertheless, as leader of this here clan, which I is, I must subject these two pretty folks, to clan initiation rights to deem their worthy.",Umm...
Patrick: Worthy of what?,...specifically.
Ma Angler: Of livin'...  Theether! Go on and get your fiddle.,"Look, Patrick! He's gonna play us a little song. Short song."
"Patrick: SpongeBob, I think this is meant to be a-a musical challenge.","Challenge? ] Patrick, we don't even have an instrument to play."
"Patrick: Yeah, and soon we won't have anything to play it with...",Huh! Patrick! Hang on...
"Patrick: SpongeBob, don't leave me!","Wouldn't dream of it, Patrick."
Patrick: Alright!,"Well, Patrick, even though you won, it looks like he was the real star. Hahaha."
Ma Angler: Betsy! Betsy: Yes'um? Ma Angler: It's time for a hootin' and hollarin' contest. Betsy:,"Patrick, it's a singing competition. What are we gonna do?"
"Patrick: I don't know, but I am a sure thirsty after that fiddlin'.","Hey, give me some of that!"
Trenchbillies: Yee-haww!,"Looks like we're on a roll, eh, Patrick?"
Ma Angler: I just love me some wrastlin' and tusslin'! Patrick: Let me see more.,My compliments to the chef.
Cletus:  Your turn.,"Hah! Well, actually, my friend and I, we don't like to wrestle."
Ma Angler: Huh? You don't like to wrastle?,"No, we're not the wrestling sort."
"Ma Angler: Well, then, what in tarnation do you pretty folks like to do for fun?","Well, uh-uh, we like to go jellyfishing!"
Ma Angler: Jellyfishin'. What kinda tomfoolery is jellyfishin'?,"Well, it goes something like this:"
Cletus: What-the? Ma Angler: That's disgustin'.,"Now, Patrick!  Well, something like that anyway..."
"Patrick: Nice knowing you, buddy... Ma Angler: Well, I haven't seen anybody cut up like that 'round these parts since we was potty-trained Junior.  He was near about 13! Cletus: Them boys is dumber than my box a' rotten teeth! Cletus: Go get em' tiger! Jordan Klein:  They grow up so fast. Ma Angler: As leader of this here clan, I heareby debut: Sponge-Joe-Bob and Deral, honorary trenchbillies. Cletus: Speech! Speech!","Well, I guess if I were to say one thing, and I think I'm speaking for Patrick and myself here, is that y'all are a bunch a' real kind folks and it's been a real hoot gettin' to know y'all!  Farewall, friendly trenchbillies. See ya' 'round."
Patrick: Toodles. Cletus:  And where do you folk think you're goin'?,Over to home.
"Cletus: Well, you're one of our kin' now, so this is your home, and as such, you've been givin' the great honor of takin' care a' Ma, for the rest of your natural-born lives. Patrick: Takin' care a' Ma?!",For the rest of our natural-born lives?!
"Cletus: You know, carry her purse, give her cat massages, read her the Willy Shakespeare ‘til she falls asleep at night. Ah, Ma just loves Iambic pentameter!","Well, that all sounds like a lot of fun, but I-I have responsibilities back home at Bikini Bottom. I have a pet snail to feed and can't be late for work at the Krusty Krab!"
"Patrick: Yeah, and, iambic pentameter gives me a headache! Cletus:  You folks ain't goin' nowhere.","Oh please, Mr. Trenchbillie, where can we-"
"Patrick: Oh, hey, your shoe's untied. Cletus: What? But I ain't even wearin'- Darn it. Mr. Krabs: Well, what was I supposed to tell them, Squidward? Squidward: You could have told him that he could have his money back. Mr. Krabs: Oh, no I couldn't. Squidward: Why? Mr. Krabs: Because, I already put it in the register!",Mr. Krabs! We just escaped from an angry mob of deep sea bunkins!
Patrick: It was horrible! They were gonna make us stay forever and massage their grandma. Mr. Krabs:  So. Why ya' telling me?,Because they followed us here.
"Cletus: Come on out! We know you're in thar! Mr. Krabs:  Welcome to the Krusty Krab. May I take your order? Cletus: Umm, sure. I'll have me a large Krabby Patty with uhh...a cola, no, no! Lemon-lime! ) Mr. Krabs: Keep them coming, SpongeBob! This is the most business in a long time!","Aye', captain! I'm gonna get some more buns."
"Ma Angler: More! More! More! More! Mr. Krabs: Oh yeah, that's what I like to see. She's gonna make customer of the week. Cletus:  We catch anyone makin' goo-goo eyes like that at our Ma, it can only mean one thing: He's gonna get hitched! Mr. Krabs:   Noooooo! SpongeBob, Patrick, and others wave hands. The heart animation appears when the episode ends. Patchy: Merry Christmas, kids! I bet you're wondering why ol' Patchy has this mail truck. Well, this year, I wanted to be absolutely sure Santa got me letter. So I gave Mr. Mailman the day off. Potty: Do you even know how to get to the North Pole? Patchy: Oh, Potty, you silly parrot. Everyone knows that the directions to the North Pole are in the lyrics of the song Jingle Bells. ♪Dashing through the snow, in a...  Through the fields we go. La la la la la.♪ Okay. So we're looking for some fields here. Potty: No, Patchy, the directions to the North Pole are in the song, There Goes Santa Claus. ♪There goes Santa Claus. There goes Santa Claus. Left on Santa Claus Drive.♪ Scurvy brain. Patchy: Yeah, well, we ain't turnin' till we see some fields. Potty: Look out! There's a fork in the road! Patchy: I don't see no fork. Patchy: While we wait for the truck to stop spinning, let's see what SpongeBob is up to this Christmas.","♪Oh, it's drawing very near. My favorite time of the year.  The snow is falling and the cold wind blows.  Christmas is almost here.  And I know that Santa, Santa. Santa has his jolly little eyes on me!  It keeps me warm and filled with glee to know Santa has his eyes on me. I light my house like a Christmas tree. Fa la la la la la la la lee. 'cause Santa, Santa, Santa has his jolly little...  Eyes on me.♪ Hi, Squidward! What are you doing today?"
"Squidward: Stringing lights so Santa knows, in no uncertain terms...  ...to go away!","Okay...  ♪Santa, Santa, Santa has his jolly little eyes on me. He sees everything I do, with his left eye on me and his right eye on you!♪  Ooh, what's that?"
Patrick: It's a trap! A trap for Santa!,Ooh. Baited with Christmas treats?
"Patrick:  ♪I will trap Santa in my box, locked up like Fort Knox and make him stop the clocks. And we'll have Christmas all year long!♪ Hey, a cookie!","♪Ohh... Santa, Santa, Santa has his jolly little eyes on me! Fa la la la la la la la la lee!  And who is that I see? Underneath her Christmas tree?♪"
"Sandy: ♪Oh, Christmas, oh, Christmas is sweet mystery. I'll mix a dash of Christmas cheer with a candy cane and deconstructed alchemy.♪","Merry Christmas, Sandy!"
"Sandy: Merry Christmas, SpongeBob!","♪Santa, Santa, Santa has his jolly little eyes on me.♪ Hi, Mr. Krabs! Are you ready for Christmas?"
"Mr. Krabs: Why, Christmas is me favorite time of the year! After all, 'tis the season of gettin'!",Don't you mean the season of giving?
"Mr. Krabs: Exactly! The more you give, the more I get. Plankton: ♪Oh, Santa, Santa, Santa has his eye on me. He's seen everything I've done. Every plot, plan, and scheme. It's just a bit of fun. Santa has his eye on me. Every naughty deed is written in his scroll. So every Christmas morning, I get a stocking full of coal!♪ Karen: Maybe you'd get a real present from Santa if you weren't the biggest jerk in Bikini Bottom. Plankton: I'm way ahead of you, Karen!  There is one element in the known universe that can turn even the nicest sap into the biggest jerk they can be! And I, Plankton have discovered it. Behold!  Jerktonium!  I'll give everyone in Bikini Bottom a present of the most innocent of all holiday goodies. The fruitcake! And each and every slice will be laced with Jerktonium! Once ingested, no one can help becoming the biggest, creepiest, meanest jerk ever! Then Santa will realize that Sheldon J. Plankton isn't so bad after all! And then I'll finally get what I really want for Christmas, the Krabby Patty secret formula!  And now for the main ingredient, Jerktonium! Okay, Jerktonium, do your stuff! It's complete!  Ha ha! The Jerkmaker 9000 will make doling out tainted fruitcake a breeze! Now, who's gonna be my first victim?","Hey, Plankton! What've you got there?  Hey! Is that a fruitcake dispenser? You don't suppose I could have a piece, do ya?"
"Plankton: Sure thing, fruitcake! Here you go! Plankton: Hot from the oven and full in lovin'!",Ooh! Ooh! Hot! Hot! Hot!  Wow! This is great!
"Plankton: So, how do you feel, kinda cranky?",No.
Plankton: Sorta surly?,Mm-mm.
Plankton: Maybe just a little bit jerky?,No. I feel just how this cake tastes! Absolutely delicious!
Plankton: Hmm... He must have gotten a piece without Jerktonium! Here. Try some more.,Don't mind if I do!
Plankton: How's your dander? Is it up?,No. How could I possibly be angry when my taste buds are swimming in Christmas cheer?
"Taste Bud: Oh, boy, here comes some more! Yaaaay! Plankton: Grrr! Have some more!  Have a whole loaf!  Have a baker's dozen!  Well?",Well...  I think everyone should taste your amazing fruitcake!
"Plankton: You know what? Knock yourself out.  Stupid hunk of junk-tonium! My gift to Bikini Bottom. Boy, oh, boy.","Hello, fellow revelers! Would you like a Christmas treat?"
"Bill: Why, sure, SpongeBob! Fish 2: Yeah, who doesn't like treats?",Nothing loosens up the old pipes like some fruitcake. Dig in!
Fish 2: It's like a present for my mouth!,I knew you'd like it.
"Bill:  Hey! Did we come here to sing or eat fancy cake? Fish 2: Whoa, calm down, Bill! What do you want to sing? Bill: Well, I want to sing the only Christmas song that matters, and that's “Jingle Bells”. From the top! A one and a two and a – Fish 3:  No, hold your holly! We're singing the best Christmas song ever, and that's “Silver Bells”! Bill: Wrong bells, buddy! Fish 2:  Hey, I want to sing “Randolph the Red-Nosed Seahorse”!",Great to see people so passionate about the holidays.
Plankton:  What's all the racket? What do you know? The Jerktonium seems to work on these jerks. Very interesting.,"Oh boy, a Christmas parade! The perfect occasion to spread some mouthwatering joy.  Oh, everyone, try some hot fruitcake today. Eat it all up and you will shout “Hooray!”!"
Bikini Bottomites: Yay!,"Everyone can get behind a mouthful of warm sunshine, everyone eat a Christmas time cliché.  Everyone can get behind a mouthful of Christmas time, let's all eat some hot fruitcake today!"
"Plankton:  This just keeps getting better and better. Costumed Santa:  Ho ho ho! So, little boy, what would you like for Christmas? Boy: I want a sled and a truck and a bike and a train ...","Hi, Santa! Have some fruitcake."
"Boy: And a water pistol and a helicopter and – and, uh ... Costumed Santa:  Well, why don't you get a job and buy all that junk yourself? And while you're at it try brushing your teeth, you little -",Have some fruitcake!
"Driver: Thanks!  That's it! I'm outta here! Boy:  Whee-ee-ee! Oh, yeah. And I want a trampoline! Plankton: Success! Soon all the Bikini Bottomites will be jerks! Now I just need to figure out what to do about old SpongeBoy. Karen: Once again your master plan is fatally flawed.  It seems that SpongeBob's innocent love of the holidays shields his heart from the effects of Jerktonium. SpongeBob Diagram: Dahahaha! That tickles. Plankton: Drat! That square-head's gonna throw my whole naughty to nice curve right off! I guess it's time to introduce Plan B.  Hahahahaha! Plan B, meet Karen. Now go, my automated agent of naughtiness, go and destroy SpongeBob's good name!  Huh? Oh yeah. ToyBob: I am ready, I am ready, I am ready. Ready to destroy Christmas. Mr. Krabs: What's goin' on out here? Oh, it's just you, SpongeBob. Plankton: Oh, SpongeBob, you've been a bad, bad toy! Patchy: I can't believe we survived that horrifying car accident without a scratch.  Ow!  Aw, here's the problem. Oh, that's not good. Flat tire, huh? Looks as sad as an empty bag of beef. Brrr! It's cold up here. Why don't you kids at home go make a nice hot cup of cocoa while Potty builds me a fire? Patchy:  Hello, kiddies. It's so cold, me eye patch cracked. There hasn't been any food or water or food or food for over 20 minutes.  Boy, I could sure go for some buffalo wings right about now. Sounds good. Eh, Potty?  With a side of blue cheese dressing. Potty: Squawk! What are you doing? Patchy: I'm sorry, Potty, I don't know what got into me. I'm just so hungry! Potty: It's okay, Patchy, I can't stay mad at you. Patchy: Aww. Patchy: Why are you looking at me like that, bird?  What are you doing?","Merry Christmas, fellas!"
"Bill: Ah, go stuff a stocking!","Gee. That wasn't very nice.  Seasons greetings, Mr. Krabs!"
"Mr. Krabs: Will you get some nerve, SpongeBob! This is comin' outta yer salary!","What's that all about?  Hey, Patrick! What're you up to?"
"Patrick: I think it's pretty obvious, SpongeBob!  I'm eating fruitcake and setting a tiger trap for Santa! Now, if you don't mind, I'm kind of busy right now.","Yeesh, okay. Don't have to be a jerk about it. Everybody's on edge today. Must be the holiday jitters."
"Patrick: Nosybody.  Yay, it works! Oh. Hello, big, striped shrimp.","Ah, Christmas Eve! When all of Bikini Bottom is filled with good will."
"Johnny: Merry Christmas, Frankie. Frankie: Merry Christmas to you, too, Johnny.","More like bad will! Gosh, if people don't start acting nicer, Santa's going to fly right past Bikini Bottom this Christmas Eve! I'm gonna need some help.  Squidward!"
Squidward:  I'm not home!,"Oh gosh, what do I do now?"
Squidward: Why don't you go bother Sandy?,"Good idea, Squidward. I'll have to thank you when you get home."
"Squidward: I said I'm not home!  SpongeBob, give me back my door!","Sandy, Sandy! I need your help! It's Christmas Eve and everyone in Bikini Bottom are acting like jerks! You gotta help me find out why."
Sandy:  Why should I help all them jerks?,"Because those jerks don't care about Christmas any more, Sandy! It's a problem."
Sandy: Problem? My only problem is I'm out of fruitcake. Only thing I've got left to eat are boring old nuts.,"Oh, the problem isn't the fruitcake! The problem is that everyone, including you, is acting like a jerk! Oh, I'll have to solve this on my own.  Whoa!"
"Sandy: Dagnabbit, SpongeBob, you got fruitcake in my Christmas magic analyzer!  Well, I'll be hornswaggled. My analyzer's found something in the fruitcake!  This is terrible!","What is it, Sandy?"
"Sandy: The fruitcake is contaminated with Jerktonium! No wonder I've been as ornery as a sidewinder on a hot driveway. Jerktonium is the orneriest element of them all and your fruitcake is full of it. Where'd you get that fruitcake, anyway?","From Plankton, he baked it."
Sandy: You took food from Plankton and fed it to everyone in town?,Uh-huh.
Sandy: You're an idiot.,Uh-huh.
Sandy: No wonder everyone in town is a big old meanie.,Oh! I've eaten tons of that fruitcake! I must be the biggest jerk in town!
"Sandy:  Hmm … You don't act jerky. For some reason, it's not affecting you.  It must be a combination of your tiny brain and pure heart. You're immune to Jerktonium, SpongeBob, but the rest of us will need an antidote. I'll set the analyzer to calculate the formula.  Why, this formula for the antidote don't make no sense at all!","Hmm… That's no formula! It's a song!  Sandy, The song is the antidote!"
Fish 6: Oh yeah? Well your fins are fat!,"Ahoy, everybody! ♪Bring joy to the world, it's the thing to do, but the world does not revolve around you. Don't be a jerk. It's Christmas!  Be nice to babies and animals, old folks, too. 'Cause that's how you'd like them to treat you! Use turn signals. Don't screen my calls. Don't you wreck the house when you deck the halls. Spit your gum where it won't wind up on my shoe. Squeeze toothpaste from the bottom of the tube. Don't be a jerk. It's Christmas! It's Christmas! When others are talking, never interrupt. Don't put people down or leave the toilet seat up. It's the time for families and holly and turkey. 'Tis the season to be jolly, not jerky!♪"
"SpongeBob's Friends and Co.:  ♪Jolly, not jerky!♪","♪Santa brought nearly every gift on your list. Why whine about the one that he missed? Don't be a jerk, it's Christmas! It's Christmas! Don't be a jerk. It's Christmas!♪"
"Sandy: Congratulations, SpongeBob, your song worked!",And not a moment too soon. Santa should be here any minute.
Mr. Krabs: You ain't kiddin'. Here he comes now!,"Oh, boy! Santa! You made it!"
"Santa: Whoa, ho, ho, ho, ho! Cool your jets there, son. I'm afraid I'm the bearer of bad tidings.","Oh, no!"
"Santa: Oh, yes. It seems you're all on my naughty list this year.",Naughty list?!
Santa: No buts about it. You've all been a bunch of jerks.,But---!
"Santa: But nothing. Coal for everyone! Except Plankton. SpongeBob, Friends and Co.: Wha-a-at! Santa: I'm just as surprised as you, but compared to the rest of you, he's been a saint.   Here you go, Sheldon, I believe this is what you asked for. Mr. Krabs: Me secret formula? How did you get that? Santa: I have my ways. Pearl: Um... Dad? Mr. Krabs: Huh?  Get out of me pocket, ya foul goblin!","But- but- but- but- but- but---!  But, Santa, you've got it all wrong!"
"Santa: On the contrary, SpongeBob, you're the worst of all. There you go, right now—wreaking havoc! Plankton: Uh-oh. ToyBob:  I am ready to destroy Christmas.  Destroy Santa.","If you want Santa, you gotta get through me!"
"Mega ToyBob: Okey-dokey. Santa: Oh, my.",Is that all you got?
"Santa: I'm outta here.  You do realize this counts as, naughty.","You put that jolly elf down, you big tin imposter!  Hot from the oven, full of lovin'!  Hurry up, Santa, hop on!"
Santa: Thanks again for saving my keister.,"Oh, it was nothing."
"Santa: You're clearly a very good lad, unlike the owner of that wind-up monstrosity.  What have we got there? If found, please return to the Chum Bucket? Plankton?! Plankton: Uh-oh. Mr. Krabs: Hand it over, Sheldon. Don't make it any worse. Santa: O.K., boys, let's give Plankton what he deserves.  So long, kiddies! Ho-o-o-o, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho!  waves goodbye to him]","Hey, has anyone seen Patrick?"
"Patrick:   Hee hee hee hee. I gotcha! Patchy:  Santa's workshop? I'm here, Santa! I'm here! Potty: I'm not going in there. Patchy: Santa!  There's only thing I wants for Christmas! And it's to meet me hero, SpongeBob SquarePants. Santa: I think stealing a mail truck definitely counts as naughty. Wouldn't you say, Potty? Potty: I sure would, Santa. Both: Merry Christmas. Sir Urchin: Why you...! Snail Fail: What I do? Sir Urchin: Why you...! Snail Fail: What I do? Sir Urchin: Why you...! Snail Fail: What I do? TV Announcer: Wow! It's the Sir Urchin and Snail Fail show! Patrick: It's cartoon time, SpongeBob!  SpongeBob? SpongeBob?  SpongeBob?  SpongeRobert?",Oh! It's cartoon time! I'll get our Sir Urchin hats.  Whoa.
"Patrick: Not so fast, SpongeBob. What's in the secret room?","It's not a secret room, Patrick. It's my library."
Patrick: W-what's that word mean?,A library is a...playground for your mind.
Patrick:  Let's do it! It's library time! Sir Urchin and Snail Fail: Ow! Ow! Snail Fail: What I do?,"Oh, tender, naïve Patrick, it's not that kind of playground. It's a place to read books! See?"
"Patrick: Oh, I love books!  Book! Book!  Book!","Gary, I don't think Patrick knows how to use a book properly.  Ow!  Behold the books, Patrick. Each one has a story to tell."
Patrick: Whoa.,"Look out! Those books are cliffhangers, stories for the adventurous."
Patrick: I'll save you!  Whoa!,"There are logbooks,  unabridged books,  and books with bridges."
Patrick: Whoa!,Listen to the soothing sounds of the audiobooks.  I can hear the ocean.
Patrick: Me too!,"Cookbooks, for the culinarily curious."
Patrick: I like the pictures.,"Ah, but the pictures are a mere snack!  It's the words in the book that really feeds your brain. Let's start you off with an old book.  Ah, musty old books smell. Now, read the words, Patrick."
"Patrick: Oh, read the—oh, uh...Once...Upon a... Once upon a... Once upon a what?!","To continue the story, you have to turn the page."
Patrick: Oh. Time. Once upon a time!  That's the most amazing trick I've ever seen! I want to stare at more words!,Then feast your eyes!
Patrick: Once upon a time... Patrick:  Once a— You're too slow!,"He likes it! Hey, Patrick! Ooh, Patrick, your head is absorbing all the book knowledge just like a sponge! Go, Patrick! Get those words! Get them good!"
Patrick: Stop reading words!,"Wow, what a bookworm!  Whoa."
"Patrick: Yes, SpongeBob?","Uh, Patrick, I think that's enough knowledge for one day. Looks like you're full."
"Patrick: Nonsense, dear boy. One can never accumulate too much information.  Ahem.","Well, we're fresh out of books. Come on, I'll buy you an ice cream."
"Patrick: Ah, I must confess to feeling more than slightly peckish.","Patrick, I'm so proud of you! Ooh, you're a big brain now!"
"Patrick: Oh, skosh too big, it seems, eh, wha'?","Eh, wha what?"
"Patrick:  Oh, no matter, my plebeian friend. I shall simply exit posthaste, posterior-first.",I got it.
Patrick: Careful.,"Little bit...  Wow. You really got your melon jammed in there, didn't you?"
"Patrick: Oh, true, SpongeBob. Eh, but we can easily solve this problem on a quantum physics level. Take this down. If we reduce my subatomic particles by way of orbital electromagnetism, we'll create a harmonic oscillation within the molecules, resulting in a wave-function collapse, which will enable my melon, as you so drolly put it, to slip out.","Okay, sure. Let's give it a try.  Gary! Speak to me. Oh...  Oh, Gary you're back. I'd know that slime anywhere.  Slime! That's it!  Slime it up, Gar-bear."
Patrick: Abominable!,"Yeah, that Gary grease ought to do it. Okay, Patrick, pull yourself out. Hey. Head Shrinking for Beginners.  Hm... Oh, I give up! I'll guess we'll have to live here in the library forever, Gary."
"Patrick: SpongeBob, your typically moronic attempt has given me the solution! Perhaps because I had to smarten up to get stuck...",You'll need to dumb down to get free!
"Patrick:  Who's sporting the big brain now, hm?","All right, Patrick! Let's get stupid! Yeah! Electronics. Whew. I hope this works."
"Sir Urchin: Why you...! Snail Fail: What I do? Sir Urchin: Why you...! Snail Fail: What I do? Patrick: I'm sorry, dear boy, but watching this mindless drivel isn't affecting me in the least...","We've got drool! Patrick, it's working!"
Snail Fail: What I do? Patrick:  This is insulting my intelligence.  And I adore it! Snail Fail: What I do? Sir Urchin:  Why you...! Snail Fail: What I do?,"We did it, Patrick! The mindless drivel is destroying your knowledge! Whoops. Here, Patrick. You may need this little fella."
Patrick: Huh? Ah.,"Well, Patrick, this is where we came in. Ready for some ice cream?"
"Patrick: Boy, am I ever!  A book? I love books!  A book!  A book!","That's right, Patrick.  Play nice with the pretty squares. Gary, this is really one for the books, eh?"
Squidward: Stop playing... in my yard!,"Oh, we're not playing in your yard, Squidward, we're playing in our yards. We're just using your yard as a walkway."
"Patrick: No offense, but your yard gargles tartar sauce. Squidward: Well, pick one, and leave my yard out of it! Patrick: Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! I'm good at choosing! Hmmmm... let's play in... SpongeBob's yard! No! Patrick's! Errrr... SpongeBob!  I'm terrible at choosing! Squidward! You choose! Squidward: I choose Patrick...  to play in Patrick's yard...  and SpongeBob in SpongeBob's yard. And nobody...  in here! Patrick: SpongeBob!",Patrick!
Patrick: SpongeBob!,Patrick!
Patrick: SpongeBob!,Patrick!  The road!  Patrick! What are we gonna do?
Patrick: I'll mail myself to your house!,"Sit tight, Patrick! I'm coming to get you!  No!"
"Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob.","Hey, Patrick.  Patrick! Call me!"
Patrick: Okay!,SquarePants residence.
Patrick: What are we gonna do?!,Hmmmm... have we ever dug a tunnel between our two houses?
Patrick: No.  SpongeBob?,Patrick?
Both: We did it!,Tag! You're it!
Patrick: Tag! You're it!,Tag! You're it!
Patrick: Tag! You're it!,Peek-a-boo! I see you!
Patrick:,You're it!
"Patrick: You're it! Squidward:  Must... block... out... noise! Patrick: Knock, knock!",Who's there?
"Patrick: I don't know! Squidward:  I thought I told you two to stay off my...  yard.  Patrick!  Patrick, would you shut...?  Where is he?  SpongeBob.  SpongeBob!  SpongeBob, I am trying to...  sleep?  Aha!  Hey, Gary. Gary: Meow. Squidward: Where are those two morons?  Where are they?!","Ohh... Patrick, check out these roots!"
Patrick: They're dancing!,"Do like the roots do, and do the Dirt Dance, baby!"
Patrick: Squidward's house wants to play too! Squidward: My house!,Awww. Squidward's house looks like it has an upset tummy.
Patrick: Must've been something it ate.,It ate Squidward!
Patrick:  That'll do it. Squidward:  I knew you two reprobates were behind this.,Yeah! We're reprobates!
Squidward: That was an insult. Patrick: And we're insulted! Squidward: Why were you digging under my yard?,"You told us not to walk on your yard, so we walked under it."
Squidward: But you buried my house! Patrick: No need to thank us. Squidward: Thank you?! Patrick: You're welcome. Squidward: Patrick: Missed.,Somebody wants to play Tag!
Patrick: Tag! You're it!,Not it!
Squidward: Patrick: Whee!,Squidward wins!
"Squidward: Now, you're gonna play a new game called, Digging Out my House!",Oh boy!
Squidward: And I'm gonna play Sit and Relax until you're finished.  Barnacle brains.  SpongeBob!,"Hi, Squidward"
Squidward:,Yuh oh!
"Squidward: I'm warning you: If you don't put my house back where it belongs by the count of th-ree-  Three. I am going to grind you into chum! One! Patrick:  He's counting, anything but counting!  Quick, SpongeBob! Dig for your life!!! Squidward: Two! Patrick:  He's already at number two! Who knows how many numbers we have until he reaches three?! Squidward: Th-ree! Patrick: Plankton: Yes! Now the Chum Bucket is the only restaurant in town!  Nuts.",Must dig! Ohhh! The rock's too hard!
"Squidward:  You... two... morons... sunk my house! SpongeBob & Patrick:  We're sorry! Squidward: I'm gonna-  Uh, oh.","Ahhhh.  Good morning, Squidward! Another beautiful day under Bikini Bottom!"
"Squidward:  I hate neighbors. Ricky Gervais:   Ten years ago, an unknown   pirate from Encino began a  decade-long obsession  with TV's most beloved  an absorbent sponge. And today,  a mere ten years later, obviously,  ten years ago, I said that,  he has traveled all the way to a far off land known as, Burbank.  To find Nicktoons Animation Studio  and meet his idol  face to face for the first time  in  ten years...it's ten years ago.  It's ten years ago.  Let's see what happens, yeah. Patchy the Pirate: Oh. Bye, Mom. Thanks for the lift.  Hey, kids. Isn't this exciting? I'm here at Nickelodeon, home of SpongeBob SquarePants. And I'm gonna ask him if he'll be my guest of honor on my tenth anniversary TV special.  Come on.  Ahoy. Security Guard:  Sir, may I help you? Patchy: Yes. This is Patchy the Pirate for SpongeBob SquarePants. I believe he's expecting me. I sent him over 400 letters...this week. Security Guard: Uh, yes. SpongeBob is not here right now, sir. Patchy: That's okay. I can wait.  SpongeBob?! Security Guard: Sir, please step away from the gate. Patchy: Aw, poop deck. I was hoping I could ask SpongeBob to phone up some of his famous friends so he could ask them to be guests on my show. Security Guard: Uh-huh.  Oh. You're here for the Casting Department. Patchy: Yeah. Security Guard: In that case, please step right inside, sir. Patchy: Woo! Oh, hey, when'll SpongeBob be here? Where's he? At lunch?  At an important meeting? Security Guard: I'm not sure, sir. Patchy: Getting his boat waxed? Security Guard:  This way, sir. Patchy: What's he really like? Security Guard:  This way, sir. Patchy: Does he come in everyday? Security Guard:  This way, sir. Patchy: Does he dye his hair? Security Guard:  Walk this way, sir. Patchy: Huh? Security Guard: Here you are, sir. Please wait here while you wait.  Can I get you anything, sir? Patchy: Yeah. A shrimp cocktail.  Ooh. That's what I call service...  with a smile. Gary:  Meow.  Meow.  Meow.","Good morning, Gary!"
Gary:  Meow.,"A little overboard? And take a chance at being late for the single most greatest day of my career.  The eleventy-seventh anniversary of the Krusty Krab.  Oh, oh, oh, I think not.  No self-respecting Krusty Krab employee would be late on this day."
"Squidward:  What the? See you at the big event, Squidward!  Can you believe that it's been eleventy-seven years already? Gary:  Meow, Meow, Meow.","Oh, Watch the potty mouth, Gare. Today is a day for gentle reflection. Aw, I remember my first visit to the Krusty Krab."
"Harold SquarePants: I don't know. This doesn't seem like a family restaurant. Margaret SquarePants: Oh.  Well, what do you think, baby? Should we eat here?  Well, okay, then.  What would you like?","Krabby Patty!  Yummy!  Good times.  Oh, sorry, Gary, we can reminisce later. I gotta get ready. "
"Patchy: Security, more shrimp cocktail in casting, please. Thank you. Devil Potty: Look, Patchy, a Rolodex. Why, it's probably full of celebrity phone numbers. You don't need SpongeBob. You can call them yourself. Go on, have a look. Squawk. Angel Potty: That's private property, Patchy. If you get caught looking at it, we'll never get to meet SpongeBob. Patchy: Yeah, good point. Devil Potty: Don't listen to him. You want your TV show to have big-name guests, don't you? Patchy: Yeah. No. I mean... Devil Potty: Then do it. Angel Potty: Don't do it, Patchy. Devil Potty: Come on. Do it! Do it! Patchy: I shall.  Let's see, Dawson, Richard. Rosario. Rosario Dawson! She'll bring a little class to the show. Rosario Dawson: Hello? Patchy: Uh, hello, Rosario. Rosario Dawson: Oh, Goodness. Patchy: It's Patchy the Pirate, president of the SpongeBob Patchy:  Fan Club. I'm throwing a little TV Patchy: show-tacular, and I need a little celebrity wind in my sail, so to speak. Rosario Dawson: Okay. You need a little mouthwash is what you need. Patchy: I was wondering if you'd like to be my special guest. Rosario Dawson: Are you going to be in the same city? Patchy: Of course, silly. We'll be working closely together all day. Patchy: Well, back to the old Rolodex. Uh, Bo Derek. Bo Diddly. Eddie Deezen. Eddie Deezen? Eddie Deezen: Hey, when do we film? Security Guard: This way, sir. Patchy: Ooh. This will be good. Triumph the Insulting Comic Dog: Yes? Patchy: Ahoy, Triumph the Insult Comic Dog. Triumph: I'm Busy. Hurry up. Patchy: This is Patchy the Pirate. Triumph: Oh. Don't give me that Patchy stuff. Come on, Depp, I know it's you. Drop the pirate thing. Patchy: You know, I do get that a lot, but seriously, it's not Johnny Depp. Triumph: Come on. Who is this? The pirate from the cereal box or the litter box. Patchy: The one from Encino. It's Patchy, president of the SpongeBob SquarePants Fan Club. Triumph: Oh, the president. Well, your mother must be so proud. Triumph: Listen, Scratchy. Patchy: It's Patchy. Triumph: You know, Catchy, maybe you should consider wearing two eye patches. That way, you won't be able to see what's become of your life. Patchy: What? Triumph: So, what are you tell me, what are you selling, besides your dignity and self-respect? Patchy: None of the above. I was wondering if you'd like to be a guest on the big TV special. That I am throwing for SpongeBob. Triumph: Sorry, Poop-Leg Pete. I'm a big star. I don't do basic cable. I'm on a major network. Kind of. Patchy: It would sure mean a lot to be personally if you'd be on my show, Triumph. Triumph: Oh, it would mean a lot. Well, why didn't you say so? That changes everything. Patchy: Oh. Triumph: You know, I'd love to be on your show. I'd love it as much as I love pulling ticks off my butt. Patchy: Well, fine. Who needs you, you filthy mongrel? Triumph: Okay, Captain Loser. Send me a script. Patchy: Great! So, you'll be on my show? Triumph: Sure, of course. I'm sure that it's a great script. Three, two, one. For me to poop on! Patchy: Oh, yeah, well, I'll have you know, you are not the biggest star to tell me that. Hello? Hello? Harold: Hey, hey. Chill out, buddy. We all want to get into the Krusty Krab as much as you do.","But I don't have time to wait in line. Sorry, but I can't be late today."
Harold: Oh! Mable-Monica: Ah! Isabelle Fish: Ooh! Sadie: What the? Frankie Billy: Hey! Fred: Ah! Tom: Eh! Shubie: Uh!,"Sorry, everyone, but Mr. Krabs needs me.  Reporting for duty, sir."
"Mr. Krabs: Sit down, boy.","Happy eleventy-seventh, Squidward."
Mr. Krabs:  Today's a big a day for the Krusty Krab.  So I want yous to listen up.  It's a perfect opportunity for Plankton to try and steal the Krabby Patty formula. Squidward: Isn't that just the Krusty Krab? Mr. Krabs: No. It's a holographic projection of the Krusty Krab. I want you two to watch all the entrances. Squidward: You mean the front door and the back door? Mr. Krabs: Those are just the ones on the surface.  There is an entire network of tunnels and air ducts underground and I want all eyes on the look out!,"Aye, aye, Mr. Krabs."
"Mr. Krabs: Right. Study the map, stay extra vigilant. Don't fall asleep on the job. That means you, Squidward. Squidward: What? I have never fallen asleep on duty. Mr. Krabs: Don't make me have a flashback. Squidward: All right, point taken. Mr. Krabs: And to help watch out for Plankton, I've hired some extra security. Squidward:  You hired Patrick? Mr. Krabs: What, you expect me to spend money on a real security guard? You are my first line of defense, Patrick. So, look out for any suspiciorous characters. Patrick:  Yes, sir.  Who are you? And Who are you working for?! Mr. Krabs: Plankton doesn't stand a chance. Plankton:  It's a conspiracy, I tell you! A thousand and three times I've almost had that recipe, and a thousand and three times I've been launched by that Krabs! He celebrates eleventy-seven years of success,  I'm left with four score and forty fortnights of failure!  I give up, Karen. Krabs has won! Karen:  Well, you'll never get the formula with that attitude.  Maybe a thousand and four will be your lucky number. Plankton: Oh, yeah? You try getting launched. Karen: Oh, right, the launchings.  I've got them all on my hard drive. Mr. Krabs: Fore! Plankton: Ow! Mr. Krabs: I'm tired today, Plankton.  You're just gonna have to launch yourself. Plankton: Splat. Plankton: Karen?! Karen: I'm sorry. That last part always makes me laugh. Plankton: It's just no use! Karen:  Today's the  perfect day to steal the recipe. Krabs will be completely distracted by all the festivities. You can do this. Plankton: You really think so? Karen: Of course, I do. Now who's my big man? Plankton: Oh, Karen. Karen: Come on. Come on. Who's my big strong man? Plankton: I am. Karen: That's right. Now get out there and steal that recipe. Plankton:  Yes, Ma'am! Patchy: Hey, LeBron, how's the Dribbling? LeBron James: Hey, Patchy. What's up? Patchy: How would you, LeBron James, like to be a guest on the fan clubmongorical special for SpongeBob? LeBron James: I Love SpongeBob, man, but I can't, man. I've got a game today, man. Patchy: Oh, come on! The season's hardly even started yet. LeBron James: Huh? Patchy: Oh, they won't care if you miss one game, will they? LeBron James: I have a contract. I have to go. Patchy: Oh, contract  schmontract.  We have party gifts. LeBron James: Dude, I gotta go. Patchy: Oh!  This casting business is harder than 40 years of barnacle buildup.  Okay, time to get serious. Tina Fey: Hello. Patchy: Ahoy, Tina. Tina Fey: Who is this? Patchy: Patchy... the pirate. Tina Fey: Oh, I don't know any pirates anymore. Are you sure you have the right number? Patchy: Hey, listen, us bad soul sistas have to stick  together, huh? Tina Fey: Sure. Patchy: Great, 'cause I'm throwing a huge telestravaganza for SpongeBob SquarePants and I'd love it if you'd come down and sing a song for us. Tina Fey: I'm not much for singing, but I love SpongeBob. Who else is going to be performing? Patchy: Aren't you the modest one? Well, SpongeBob, for one, will be on the show. Tina Fey: Oh, Tom Kenny, the voice of SpongeBob? Patchy: Who? Tina Fey: Well, you said SpongeBob is going to be on the show. Patchy: That's right. The little sponge is the guest of honor. Tina Fey: But, he's a cartoon, so you mean the guy who does the voice, right? Patchy: Listen, Miss Turner, you let me handle the guests. You stick to your singing and dancing. Tina Fey: Mrs. Turner? Oh, no, this isn't Tina Turner. This is Tina Fey. Patchy: Who? Patchy: Hello? Hello, Tina? You'd better be good to me. Patchy: Will Ferrell: Yeah, who's calling me? Patchy: Hey, Will, it's Patchy the pirate,  president of the SpongeBob SquarePants fan club  in Encino, and I'm throwing a little TV special for him. Will Ferrell: Oh, really? Well, I'm president of the SpongeBob Fan Club, Tarzana chapter, and I'm throwing a TV show, too,  so get in line. Patchy: What?! You can't do that! Will Ferrell: Can't I? Well, guess what? I'm doing it. You'd better wrap your mind around it because guess what?  My show's also gonna be a lot better. Patchy: Doubt it. Who are your guests? Will Ferrell: You name it, we've go it: Hollywood stars, musical people, singers, jugglers, a guy who does things with knifes.  Do you have that,  huh? Who do you have? Patchy: Hang on to your hat. Sir Quentin and Mr. Tinder. Ever heard of 'em? Will Ferrell: What?! The world's fifth best ventriloquist and his wooden sidekick? Patchy: Of course, silly. Will Ferrell: No way!  No!  Okay, you win this time, but just you wait for the 20th. 'Cause I will come at you harder and faster. Patchy:  20th anniversary... Crowd: We want Krabby Patties! We want Krabby Patties! Mr. Krabs:  Now to add some special anniversary deals to the menu.  Krabby Patty... 20 bucks. 39 bucks. 30.  Oh, number zero, how I love you so.  SpongeBob!","Yes, Sir?"
Mr. Krabs: I'm putting you in charge of decorations.,"Oh, but Mr. Krabs."
Mr. Krabs: Yes boy?,I thought you said that I would be in charge of decorations.
Mr. Krabs: What? But you are.,I am?  Yay!  Yeah! Yeah!
"Mr. Krabs: Squidward! I had chores for you, but you won't do 'em anyway. Squidward: It only took you eleventy-seven years for you to figure that out? Mr. Krabs: Here's your budget, boy.  Decorate it any way you want.",Wow! Fifty cents!
"Squidward: You’re letting SpongeBob decorate? Remember all the other times SpongeBob decorated? Squidward, SpongeBob, and Mr. Krabs: Hmm...",Yee-haw! You come here often?
"Squidward, SpongeBob, and Mr. Krabs: Hmm... Mr. Krabs: Well, you want want to do it, then? Squidward: No. Mr. Krabs: Then shut your porthole. Squidward: Battening down the word hatches, sir. Squidward: What? What are you...?","There we go. Your change, sir."
"Mr. Krabs: Good work boy. What, that's it? Mr. Krabs: Decorations, check. Security? Mr. Krabs: Check. Crowd: We want Krabby Patties! We want Krabby Patties!   We want Krabby Patties! Mr. Krabs:  Okay, open your ears. These people have come from miles around because they love my patties. I want every employee on their best behavior. Squidward: Are you getting any of this, SpongeBob?","Every word, Squidward, every word."
"Mr. Krabs: So, let's get out there and sell some Krabby Patties!","Yes! Yeah! Ooh, I almost forgot. Mr. Krabs, wait! There's one last decoration!  I present to you...   I present to you...  ... my ode to the Krabby Patty  made entirely out of ice."
"Mr. Krabs: Yessh, boy.  This thing's enormous. Squidward:  And cold. Mr. Krabs: All right, let's get this thing out of here. Me customers are waiting.","Ready? Set?  Guys, I'm okay. No need to scream."
Mr. Krabs: The door!,"Oh, no. Patrick, stand up!  We're locked in!  This is gonna spoil the eleventy-seventh anniversary."
"Crowd: We want Krabby Patties! We want... Mr. Krabs: Somebody... Mr. Krabs and Squidward: Anybody, I don't care who!",How do we get out?
"Mr. Krabs: Everybody calm down. I spent a lifetime working in this restaurant, and I know there's only one way out of here. Patrick: A high school diploma? Mr. Krabs: No,  the air duct.  This way boys.  All we gotta to do is head through this duct. Squidward: Which one? There must be 20 ways to go.","Not to worry, Squidward. I have the entire map memorized."
"Mr. Krabs:  Uh, hmm, uh...","Hurry up, guys, this kind of hurts."
"Mr. Krabs: Well, according to the map, we just go straight, take a right between these three moldy tree stumps, then head towards that kidney-bean shaped puddle of gravy. Squidward: That's not the map, you old barnacle. those are  three moles and a birthmark. Mr. Krabs: Oh. All right,  then, let's try this one. Squidward:  It's this way. Patrick: Here it is. Mr. Krabs: Hey, what's this?  It's an old Krabby Patty wrapper.  Aah, that takes me back to the good old days. TV Narrator (1950s): Now a word from our sponsor. Female Singers:  ♪ K-R-A-B-B-Y  P-A-T-T-Y ♪ Male Singers: ♪ Bud dum dum dum dum ♪ Female Singers: ♪ Krabby Patty  give 'em a try ♪ Mr. Krabs:  ♪ Come on down and... ♪ Mr. Krabs and the Female Singers: ♪ ...buy, buy, buy. ♪ Female Singers: ♪ Not just one or  two or  three, but  enough for the whole,  family. ♪ TV Narrator (1950s):  Yes, folks, nine out of ten doctors recommend eating at least one Krabby Patty a day to maintain a healthy lifestyle and a youthful, positive attitude. Dr. Krabs:  I'm a doctor... as far as you know, and I believe Krabby Patties add years to your life.  So, what are you waiting for? Go out and get yourself a Krabby Patty.   Or go out and buy a Sackful of Krabbies.  Or better yet, go out and get yourself a case of the Krabbies.  For your health. Female Singers:  ♪ K-R-A-B-B-Y P-A-T-T-Y  Krabby Patty. ♪ Mr. Krabs: Back then, Krabby Patties only cost a dime.  It was a dark and  evil time.  I still have nightmares. Squidward: We'll never get out of here.",Don't worry Squidward. We'll find a way out and then we'll have the best eleventy-seventh anniversary ever. All we have to do is stick together.
"Squidward: Stop breathing on my neck. Yuck. Mr. Krabs: Hey, I think  I see the exit. Mr. Krabs: Ah, barnacles. It's just the Surveillance Room.",Oh. My house is on TV.
Squidward: All of our houses are on TV. Gary: Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow.,"Gary the snail, you get down from that bed this instant."
"Patrick:  Hey, there's my house. Squidward: You left your TV on. Patrick: Well, duh. I don't want to miss my shows.","Look, it's Sandy!"
"Squidward: Mr. Krabs,  why do you have cameras watching us? Mr. Krabs: Oh, uh... uh... uh...  I just want to make sure you all floss after ever meal.","Thank you, Mr. Krabs. Dental hygiene is very, very important."
"Patrick:  Hey, who are those guys?","I think it's us, Patrick.  But, who are they ?"
Crowd:  We want Krabby Patties! Me customers are getting antsy. Crowd: ...Patties! We want Krabby Patties!  Krabby Patties! We want Krabby Patties! We want Krabby Patties!  We want Krabby Patties! Mr. Krabs:  We're  getting warm. I can feel it.,"That might just be my hand, Mr. Krabs."
"Mr. Krabs: Hmm, a crossroads.  I'll go this way, and SpongeBob,  you lead them down that way.",Lead them? I can finally  use my leader hat...  and my lederhosen.
"Patrick: Nice. Squidward: Those are just sock garters, you idiot.",Follow me!
Squidward: This is not happening. It's just not happening.,"Guys, its a dead end."
"Patchy: Hey,  I went to Blackbeard Polytechnic with this guy. He has to be on my show, according to pirates' code. Craig Ferguson: Hello. Patchy:  Is this Captain Craig, son of Fergu? Craig Ferguson: Oh, hey, Patchy the Pirate. Patchy: How's me old Blackbeard College Roommate? Craig Ferguson: You know, I'm good, I'm good, Patchy. Listen, it would be great to go plunging down memory rapids with you, but I'm kind of busy right now. Patchy: Listen, Fergulicious. I was hoping I could get you to appear on my SpongeBob Fan Club tenth year anniversary show tonight. Craig Ferguson: Uh, no. No, that's not going to work for me. Patchy: Oh, you have to. It's in  the pirates' code. Craig Ferguson: Arr! Patchy: Argh! Craig Ferguson: Arrghh! Patchy: Arrr! Craig Ferguson: Grrr! Patchy: Oh, no. I'm not gonna go there. 'Cause I see how it is, Mr. Big Shot, Mr. TV. No time for your old pirate school buddies anymore. Craig Ferguson:  That's right, Patchy. I got my own network TV show now. Patchy: Oh, great. So, how's on your big fancy-schmancy TV show Tonight? Craig Ferguson: Actually, we've got a real A-lister tonight. Robin Williams is on. Patchy:  Robin Williams?!  Go to go, Fergo. Craig Ferguson: Where's my bagel?! Bagel! Patchy: Thanks for the tip, Ferguson. Patchy:  Mr. Williams. How are...? Robin Williams:  Whoa. Give me one. Patchy: So, are you-ho-ho, here for the show? Robin Williams: I am. I'm a little late. Patchy: This way. Robin Williams: Right this. There isn't someone dressed up as Popeye is there? Patchy: I never heard of him.  ...Go. Robin Williams: What's your name again? Patchy: Keep up, Mr. Williams. Pagey, Pagey the Pirate Robin Williams: Pagey, oh. Oh excuse me just one second. Patchy:  Oh, Mr. Williams, that's not for you. Robin Williams: Okay.  Not for me. I've never been this way. Patchy: You've signed all the releases and everything? Robin Williams: Um, not yet, but... What-what part of the studio is this? Patchy: Oh, it's the part, that... We're on our way to the green room. Robin Williams: Oh. Patchy: Don't you worry, Mr. Williams. Robin Williams: I've never been to this part of the studio before. Patchy: Oh, it's its a new way. Robin Williams: A new way? Robin Williams: You don't mind if I use...? Patchy: Oh, sure. Robin Williams: Thank you. Patchy: Oh, and Mr. Williams I... Robin Williams: Sorry. Patchy: It's okay.  I'll just wait out here. Robin Williams: Hey, Dave, I'm at the Ferguson Show... I think. And there's this pirate... Patchy:  Mr. Williams,  everything okay on the poop deck? Robin Williams:  I'll be right there. Patchy: Okay. Robin Williams: I don't know if there doing a takeoff Hook, or if I'm being... Patchy:  Everything okay Mr. Williams? Robin Williams: Yeah, everything's fine, Patchy. Patchy: All righty. Robin Williams:  I'll be right out! Robin Williams: I'll call you back if I need any help. I'm going to leave the phone in my pocket. Patchy:  Time is money.  Everything all right in there? Robin Williams: uh, yes, yes, but... Patchy: I'm sorry, I don't want to be late for the show, Mr. Williams. Robin Williams: Oh, I don't either. Which way? Patchy:  Go that way. Robin Williams:  That way. Patchy: Go that way. Robin Williams: That way? Patchy: That way. Robin Williams: Where are we? Patchy: Oh, just a place I know of. Robin Williams: What are we in the basement of the Copa? This is like a shot from The Raging Bull. This is an abduction. Patchy: Oh, abduction? Robin Williams: Oh, wait a minute, this is nuts. Patchy:  Abduction? Robin Williams: What are you laughing about? This is.. Wait a minute, I know this place. This is where careers come to die! Patchy: Right this way, Mr. Williams. Robin Williams: Oh, Patchy. Patchy: The Green Room. Robin Williams: The old green room. Patchy: 'Cause its green.  There you go, right there.  Sit down. I'm gonna to get more celebrities, okay? Robin Williams: More? Patchy: Don't Try to escape! I mean... enjoy our hospitality.   Who else you got, Ferguson?! Narrator: It's Patchy the Pirate's SpongeBob SquarePants  Fan Club Big Time Impressive Celebrity Television Extravaganza.  With Celebrity guests-- basketball mascot, The 3 Point Fowl,  The Guy on the Penny,  her majesty, the Queen,  musical guest, P!nk,  Sir Quentin and his little wooden sidekick, Mr. Tinder,  and guest of honor SpongeBob SquarePants. From Encino, California, the president  of the SpongeBob SquarePants Fan Club and your host,   Patchy the Pirate. Patchy: ♪ Ten years   of Sponge... ♪ Potty: Brawk. You're looking at the wrong camera. Patchy: What? Potty,   where are ya? Potty: Cue camera three. Patchy: I can't hear you. Potty: Cue Talent. Patchy: Cue? What does that mean? Patchy: What are you pointing at   me for?  You have a headache?   Anyhoo, can you believe it, kids? It's been ten years since I started the SpongeBob SquarePants Fan Club. And he's here in person. I'm finally gonna meet me idol. Let's bring him out now.   Nobody cares.   Without  further ado, please welcome SpongeBob SquarePants.  Without further ado, please welcome SpongeBob SquarePants. Potty: Squawk, squawk, squawk. Patchy: What?! What do you mean he's not coming?! Ten years, I've been president in his fan club.  He never answered any of my letters.  He never showed up to any of my charity luncheons.  Now I throw him a television extravaganza, and he can't even be bothered to show up?!  Well, we'll just see about that!   You  want a piece of me, well, you're going to get one.  Think you can spurn my advances, eh? I've been a fan since the beginning. Ten...Oh!  Oh... P!nk: I  can't believe I gave up my Hawaiian Vacation for this. Mr. Tinder: I really love your music. P!nk: Remind me to make my agent walk the plank. The Queen: How are we supposed to eat these? Potty: Can I get you anything? The Queen: A pineapple slicer, please. P!nk: Passage on the next steamer out of here? Potty: Just five more minutes. P!nk: Well, there's no use sitting around like a bunch of barnacles on the bottom of a dry dock dinghy. Let's do some practicing! Band: Arr! P!nk: One, two, three, four!  ♪ Our gums are black, our teeth are falling out.  We got spots on our backs, so give it up and shout. ♪ P!nk and the band: ♪ We got scurvy. ♪ P!nk: ♪ We need Vitamin C. ♪ P!nk and the band: ♪ We got scurvy. ♪ P!nk:  ♪ We need a lemon tree. ♪ P!nk and the band: ♪ We got scurvy. ♪ P!nk: ♪ We just chillin' on the sea. ♪  Let's get this scurvy started.  ♪ A pirate ain't worthy  til he's got some scurvy. Since you got your scurvy, oh, you unnerve me when you sing that song. Scurvy! ♪ the band: ♪ Scurvy! ♪ P!nk: ♪ We got scurvy! ♪ the band: ♪ Scurvy! ♪ P!nk: ♪ We got scurvy! ♪ the band: ♪ Scurvy! ♪ P!nk: ♪ We got scurvy. ♪ the band: ♪ Scurvy. ♪ Patchy: Hey! Patchy: there it is.  I'm coming for ya, SquarePants. Plankton: Thank Neptune that's over. Plankton: SpongeBob! Aggh!  Why must you always ruin my plans?","Plankton,  you're trying to steal the Krabby Patty recipe again."
"Plankton: Uh, I didn't, uh... Okay fine. You caught me. You happy now?","You know, this reminds me of the time Mr. Krabs confided in me the Krabby Patty recipe. Oh, I don't want to bore you with my silly old stories."
"Plankton: Oh, you couldn't possibly bore me.","Well, okay. Mr. Krabs called me into his office."
"Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, you've been working here for a while now, so I think I can trust you. It's time I told you.",You mean?
"Mr. Krabs: Yes. The Krabby Patty formular. Follow me, son.  We need to go where no one will ever hear us.  Ugh. We finally made it.  Quick, into me office before anyone sees us. Plankton: What? You went in a circle. Why didn't you just stay in the Krusty Krab?","We wanted to make sure we weren't followed. Then, Mr. Krabs leaned close and whispered the recipe."
"Plankton: Yes? Go on. Mr. Krabs: Now, remember, you can never tell another living soul. Plankton:  Wait!  Wait! Hold on! Mr. Krabs:  What's that? Plankton: My pen is out of ink.  Okay, okay, go ahead. Mr. Krabs: Plankton.  You'll never have get me formula.  Not even in a flashback. Squidward: SpongeBob, if you had never come to Bikini Bottom, this wouldn't be happening- Mr. Krabs: Squidward, what's with the creepy smile? Squidward: I was just  remembering the world before SpongeBob. Flowers: Morning, Squidward. Squidward: Good Morning, Not SpongeBob.","But, Squidward, you're glad I moved in. Remember that day.  ah-uh.  Nah.  No."
"Patty Rechid: Okay well, that's every available house in Bikini Bottom. Squidward: My secret garden is finally done. Patty Rechid: Oh yeah, I forgot that one.","It's beautiful.  I'll take it.   Hi, neighbor!  I'm SpongeBob SquarePants.  And we're going to be bestest friends.  Hey Patrick. Guess, who just moved in right next door?"
"Patrick: Neighbor hug! Crowd:  We want Krabby Patties! We Want  Krabby Patties! Mr. Krabs: What's the sound? Customers! Crowd: We want Krabby Patties! We want Krabby Patties! We want to spend money! Harold: What do we want? Crowd: Krabby Patties! Harold: Why do want them? Crowd: To Spend Money! Mr. Krabs: Oh no. All that loose change out there  is driving me wallet mad with money lost.  Poor little guy's starving.  There you go, boy. You're free. Go towards the money boy. Towards the money! Dave: Hey a wallet!  And there's 50 bucks in it. All right! Mr. Krabs: Hey! Oh no!  What am I going to do?  We gotta get out of here. Now!",Oh. If only Sandy were here. She could help us.
"Patrick: Oh! Hey, maybe we can use this.  I borrowed it from Sandy's treedome. It might be our way outta here. Shh! Everybody quiet!  Hey, Sandy, I got your radio! If you want it back, come and get it! She'll come. Squidward: Oh, give me that.  Sandy, come in, Sandy. Sandy:  Sandy Cheeks here.  So, it was  you who stole my other radio, Squidward! Squidward: What? No. I'm just-- I Patrick: Sandy's trapped in that box!  Sandy?",Remember the day Sandy and I got married?
Mr. Krabs: What? Squidward: No. Patrick: I'm freaking out!,Mm-hmm.
"Wedding Officiant: Friends, we have gathered here today to join these two hearts  in the bonds of love.  SpongeBob, do you take Sandy as your lawfully wedded wife?",I do.
"Wedding Officiant: And Sandy, do you take SpongeBob as your lawfully wedded husband? Sandy: And how! Wedding Officiant: Well then, I now pronounce you sponge and squirrel. You may kiss the bride. Frank (red shirt): Boo! You Stink! Mr. Krabs: Worst play I've ever seen.  And a total rip-off! Fish: What has happened to the theater? Another Fish: Lousy costumes. Wedding Officiant: I didn't know this was a play. Patchy: Well kids, this was supposed to be the part of the show where SpongeBob and I were gonna watch old outtakes  and rejected scenes and talk about 'em.  But he never showed up! And now I'm stuck in the belly of a whale! Oh well. We already paid for the airtime, so here they are.  Hello children. You know, like any great work of art, SpongeBob did not just appear out of nowhere. He started out as a thought.  Then he evolved into  a primitive rendering... And along the way  to becoming the sponge we all know and love,  he went through many different changes. And phases and phanges.  And change can be very painful. For instance,  did you know that SpongeBob was not the first choice to star in the show?  Hard to believe, I know. Watch these opening themes, and you'll see why he was eventually picked. Painty: Are you ready, kids? Kids: Aye, aye, Captain. Painty: I can't hear you. Kids: Aye, aye, Captain! Painty: Oh...  ♪Who lives in a monument under the sea?♪ Kids:  ♪Squidward Tentacles!♪ Painty: ♪Obnoxious, abrasive, conceded is he.♪ Kids:  ♪Squidward Tentacles!♪ Painty:  ♪If practical common sense be something you wish,♪ Kids:  ♪Squidward Tentacles!♪ Patchy:  Next! Painty: Are you ready, kids? Kids: Aye, aye, Captain. Painty: I can't hear you. Kids: Aye, aye, Captain! Painty: Oh...  ♪Who lives like a barnacle under the sea?♪ Kids:  ♪Patrick Sea Star!♪ Patrick: Oh! Patchy:  Nope! Painty: Are you ready, kids? Kids: Aye, aye, Captain. Painty: I can't hear you. Kids: Aye, aye, Captain! Painty: Oh...  ♪Who lives in an anchor under the sea?♪ Kids:  ♪Eugene Krabs does!♪ Mr. Krabs: Hey! Painty: ♪Crusty and red and greedy is he.♪ Mr. Krabs: Come back with me money! Kids:  ♪Eugene Krabs does!♪ Painty: ♪If stingy and greedy is something you wish,♪ Kids:  ♪Eugene Krabs does!♪ Mr. Krabs: Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money. Patchy: Ugh. Pretty cruddy, huh kids? Here's a really old clip of SpongeBob. Back then, cartoons were called flickering funnies. Furniture: ♪Time to go to work!♪","♪I'm ready, I'm ready to go to work.♪"
"Furniture: ♪He's ready,♪",Ready!
Furniture: ♪He's ready to go to work.♪,"Yeah!  Hello, Krusty Krab!  ♪I'm ready, I'm ready to go to work.♪"
"Pineapple and The Krusty Krab: ♪He's ready, he's ready to go to work.♪","♪I'm ready, I'm ready to go to work.♪"
"Order Window and grill: ♪He's ready,♪",I'm ready!
"Order Window and grill: ♪He's ready,♪",Ready!
"Order Window and grill: ♪To go to work.♪ Patchy: Oh you.  You little scalawag.  Hey, kids. Just having some technical difficulties.  Oh! Oh. don't sneeze. don't sneeze. Whale: Ah... Ah... Patchy: Oh... Ooh...  Huh! There it is! SpongeBob's house! Oh, I finally get to meet me hero!  Whoo!","Well, hello.  Are you okay?  Mister?"
"The Guy on the Penny:  Mister, are you okay? Patchy: SpongeBob? The Guy on the Penny: No, it’s just me, the Guy on the Penny. Patchy: How'd I get here? Where's SpongeBob? Ah who am I kidding? I'm never going to see SpongeBob. The Queen: Hardly. You can see SpongeBob everywhere. The Guy on the Penny: See? Patchy: I knew it. SpongeBob. Crowd: We want Krabby Patties! We want Krabby Patties!",We didn't even get to celebrate the Krusty Krab's eleventy-seventh anniversary. We missed what could have been the greatest party ever!
"Patrick: Hmm. You guys ready to give up? Mr. Krabs: Yes. Squidward: Yes. Patrick: And I'll just write my... myself down here for... for giving up too. Right, SpongeBob?","No, Patrick, I don't want to give up."
"Patrick: Ooh! I know. Uh, let's just say are tearful farewells and solemn last words, huh? Mr. Krabs: I didn't make any money. Squidward: I never made anyone sick with envy. Patrick: I didn't get to sleep in  this morning.","Guys, we can't give up now. We got into this mess together, and we'll get out of it the same way."
Patrick: Through the freezer?,No. By using our heads.
Mr. Krabs: To concoct an elaborate escape plan?,No.  As a battering ram.  Hup.
Patrick:  Owie! Squidward:  Ow! Mr. Krabs:  Ow! Patrick:  Owie! Squidward:  Ow! Mr. Krabs:  Ow! Patrick:  Owie! Squidward:  Ow! Mr. Krabs:  Ow!,Okay. This is the one. Feel very good about this. Okay. Ready?
"Mr. Krabs: Oh boy, we made it out!  Woo-hoo!  Money! Money! Money! Money!  Come on in folks.  No need to shove. Plenty of room for all your money! and i-... Gasp! Where are all me customers?  They left.. with all their money?! Squidward: We went through all that for nothing?!","Oh, it was not for nothing, Squidward. I spent the whole day with my best friends.   You, Squidward.  And you Patrick."
Patrick: What now?,And let's not forget the man who made it all possible. Mr. Krabs. What could be better?
Mr. Krabs: Money!,♪ Oh! ♪
Squidward: Oh no. He's not going to sing.,"Oh Krusty Krab, oh Krusty Krab. Oh how I love you, Krusty Krab. Your Krabby Patties from the grill.  The smell of grease gives me a thrill.  Oh Krusty Krab, oh Krusty Krab. Oh how I love you, Krusty Krab.  With prices high  and your portions small.  The stains of mustard on the wall.  Oh Krusty Krab, oh Krusty Krab. Oh how I love you,  Krusty Krab.  Oh Krusty Krab, oh Krusty Krab.  Oh how I love ya,  Krusty Krab.  Oh Krusty Krab,  oh  Krusty Krab.  Oh how I  love you, Krusty Krab. ♪"
"Squidward: Mr. Krabs, look. Mr. Krabs: Me customers? They're coming back? SpongeBob's dopey little song is bringing 'em back.","Oh Krusty Krab, you've always been there for me. When I'm tired and hungry, I just reach out my hand, and there you are with a Krabby Patty that's all so hot and juicy. Are you with me people?!"
Crowd: Yeah!,"I said, are you with me people?!"
Crowd: Yeah!,"In that case, let's get some Krabby Patties!"
"Plankton: There's no one here. The Krusty Krab is empty. I've won!  The Krabby formula is mine.  It took eleventy-seven years, but I got it!  Oh no.  No!  Oh, nuts.","Did somebody order a Krabby...?  Whoa!  Look out. Oh. Oh, coming through. Whoa. Ooh. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa."
"Martha, Frankie Billy, and Bill: Hooray! Mr. Krabs: Ah, 'tis a beautiful sight. It warms me heart.  Me Krabby Patty recipe! What's it  doin' out here? Whoa-ho! Shoulda known! Plankton. Plankton: Hey Krabs. uh, happy eleventy-seventh? Mr. Krabs: It's launchin' time. Plankton: Please Krabs, no! I can't take it anymore! No more launching, please?! Mr. Krabs: Oh all right. Since I'm such in a good mood, I'll go easy on you this time.  There.  Happy landings, Plankton! Plankton: You know, this isn't so bad. Everyone looks like little ants from up here. Wait. Help. Mr. Krabs: Stay away from the high-tension wires.  Allow me to open the door for a valued customer. Dave: Gee thanks mister. Today must be my lucky day. I found a wallet with 50 bucks in it. Mr. Krabs: Wow, that's some coincidence 'cause I just lost one earlier today with 50 bu...! Hey! Wait a minute! Come back with me wallet ya thieving bilge rat!","Happy anniversary, Krusty Krab."
"Ricky Gervais: Wow, Patchy sure made a mess of things, didn't he? He's not much of a pirate either, really, come to think of it.  That's the problem.  Not like Blackbeard. Whoa, now there was a pirate.  Now Blackbeard  would have been able to get the real A-listers  on his TV special.  Yeah, your Bruce Willises and your Gwyneth Paltrows  and Ricky Gervaises.  Let's not forget him. Brilliant.  He wouldn't even have to shanghai them.  They would have  shown up on set out of respect.  and fear.  Back then, pirates were serious business.  Patchy's kinda  giving pirates a bad name, really,  if I'm being brutally honest.  Oh well, thanks for watching, kiddies. We'll see you at the 20th anniversary.  That's 10 years from now. Starting now. Original Version Patchy: Oh, hi, kids! Patchy Pirate here on a glorious day. I'm going to deliver this here very special present to SpongeBob on his birthday. That is, if I can get this blasted boat to start.  And start! Potty: Maybe if you remembered to fill the tank with gas... Patchy: Oh, Potty, you're full of gas! Get outta here! Potty:  I see the problem! Patchy:  Walking is better than driving anyway. I've been meaning to work on me land legs. Potty: Squawk, squawk! Patchy:  Now to see which way the wind is blowing.  This way!  Whoa! Potty:  Hard to port! SpongeBob's alarm clock: Wake up! Gary:","What? Today? My birthday? Oh, Gary, you know I never pay attention to those sorts of things. Oh, wow, Gary! Did you make me this jellyfishing net yourself?"
Gary:  Meow!,Best present ever!
"Sandy: Aw, come on, Patrick. We've been up all night. For the one millionth time,  you're going to get SpongeBob out of his house with a sight-seeing tour so we can go in and decorate it for his surprise party.  Okay?! Repeat it back to me. Patrick: Gotcha. I'm gonna collect all the pretty eggs that I can see and repeat it back to me. Patrick: Hmm?  Oh, would you look at the hour? It's almost time for me to take SpongeBob on that tour so you guys can decorate his house. Mr. Krabs, Mrs. Puff, Old Man Walker, Bubble Bass, and Plankton:  Huh? Plankton: Huh. I guess even a broken moron can be right once a day. Patrick: Hey, what's the big idea? Plankton:  It's part of the plan, idiot! I jump from your shorts into SpongeBob's pocket to get his keys? Remember? Patrick: Okay, well, don't mess with my stuff in there.  Get SpongeBob on the bus. Get SpongeBob on the bus. Get SpongeBob on the bus.","Hi, buddy."
Patrick: Uh...,"You remembered my birthday! Oh, and you got me a sight-seeing bus tour as a present!"
"Patrick:  Huh? Oh, oh! And—and there's a secret I'm not supposed to tell you, which is... Nope. I lost everything in the fire. Who are you? Who am I? Where are we?","I have an idea, pal. How would you like to take a little sight-seeing tour with me?"
"Patrick: Wow. Thank you, kind stranger. Plankton: Hmm?  Ow!  I've got his house key!  Hey! This is the key to the Krusty Krab!  The secret formula is—  Ow! Mr. Krabs:  Nice work, Plankton, and nice try.  Hold on there, old timer.  We're gonna need you as a lookout. Old Man Walker: What? Cook out? Mr. Krabs: When you see SpongeBob approaching, give a holler. Can ya holler? Mr. Krabs: Eh, not bad.  You just keep practicing that, tiger. Old Man Walker: Huh? Tiger? There's a tiger?  Oh! Sandy:  Come on! We need to make room inside for the party. Plankton:  I could use a little help here! Mr. Krabs:  Sorry, my claws are full. Bubble Bass:  Where do we put all this junk? Sandy: Follow me. Just a little further. Squidward:  Ah, I sure worked up that sweat.  What is SpongeBob's awful furniture doing in my house? Sandy:  We're gussying up SpongeBob's house for his party, and something about you tells me you are quite the interior decorator. Squidward: Hmm?  Of course! I didn't give myself all those awards for nothing! Sandy: Yee-haw! SpongeBob's place is gonna look prettier than a country bride!","Whoo-hoo! Oh, this is so exciting! I wonder where we're going?"
"Rube: We're going to Surface Land! SpongeBob, Patrick, and the tourists:",Surface Land?
"Patrick: Rube:  Hi, everybody, and welcome to Surface Land Tours! I'm your tour guide, Rube. SpongeBob, Patrick, and the tourists: Hi, Rube! Rube: Before we drive to the amazing Surface Land, I'm required to read you these tour bus rules.  Please sit in an upright position.  Absolutely no bad language!  No horseplay!  And no digging, no dancing, no tanning, no cooking, no fencing, no drowning, no molting, no running, no trespassing, no peeking, and no balloons!",Aww. Not even birthday balloons?
"Rube:  Oh, my goodness! Is it your birthday?",Yes!
"Rube: Well, I would love for everyone to sing happy birthday to you! Tourist #1: Yes!","Aww, really? That is so —"
"Rube: Not now, of course. Tour time is tight!  Whoa!  Okay, everybody, we're on Upseedaisy Street, and ready for lift off! SpongeBob and Patrick: Lift off? Rube: Amazing!","Oh, are we there yet?"
"Rube: Almost. But we need a little boast to the surface. SpongeBob and Patrick: Yay! French Narrator: One Little Boast to the Surface Later... SpongeBob, Patrick, and the tourists: Ooh!","Look, it's Sandy's friend, Frenchy! Oui, oui!"
"Rube: You can say that again, birthday boy. Oui, oui! Patrick:  Can you guys please stop saying wee wee?  Gotta go! Gotta go! Rube: Wave goodbye to Frenchy, everybody! SpongeBob, Patrick, and the tourists: Goodbye, Frenchy! French Narrator: Au revoir, my friends! David Hasselhoff:  Ah! Tartar sauce! Rube: Now remember, everyone, keep your arms and legs inside the bus at all times 'cause we are about to encounter a gaggle of nearly naked beach giraffes! SpongeBob, Patrick, and the tourists: Ooh! SpongeBob and Patrick: Nearly naked beach giraffes! Rube: Don't worry, everyone. The beach giraffes may look crazy, but they're actually peaceful creatures. Let's get a closer look. Can: Hey, kids, welcome to Beach Blanket Bean-go!  And here's your host, Beanie McBeans! Beanie McBeans:  Hey! What do you want? Beach Goers: Beans! Beanie McBeans: When do you want them? Beach Goers: Beans! Beanie McBeans: Ha, ha! Beach Goers: Beans, beans, beans...! Beanie McBeans:  Beans, beans, good for your heart! They make you strong, they make you smart! When I eat beans, I squeal! I eat beans with every meal! You do, too! You know you do!  Beans, beans!  Beans, beans, beans! SpongeBob and Patrick: Ooh! Patrick: Oh, he's good. Beanie McBeans:  All right, you know the rules. First question: How many beans are in a 16 ounce can? Contestant #1: Uh? Three million? Beanie McBeans: Sorry! Wrong answer! Contestant #1:  Yeah! Beanie McBeans: Better luck next time! And now it's time for our next contestant. Contestant #2:  Hi! Beanie McBeans: What is your favorite kind of bean? Contestant #2: Um... strawberry beans? Beanie McBeans: Is the correct answer! Contestant #2: Ooh! Yay! Patrick: So many beans!",Uh-oh.
"Rube:  Whoa! Patrick: Must have beans! SpongeBob, Rube, and the tourists: Whoa! Uh-oh! Patrick: Beans, beans, beans, beans, beans! Beach Goers: Whoa! Rube: Stop! Patrick:  Wrong answer!",Patrick! You ate all the water!
"Patrick: It's not my fault. The water got in the way! Rube: Passengers, do not panic! We can get water right over there. Female Beach Goer:  Okay. Perfect! Rube: Ah! And we're back!","Yeesh, I thought this was my birthday, not my deathday!  I'm sorry, Patrick. I was just kidding. Oh! What am I looking at?!"
"Rube: You're looking at an amazing creature that is just as afraid as you are of it. SpongeBob and Patrick:  I doubt it! Rube: I'm telling ya, that is a blue feathered northwestern pie-dragon. So calm down, guys. It only eats pies.  I was wrong! It's gonna eat us! Run! Dog Walker:  Whoa! Mr. Krabs: I should be decorating! No one here knows diddly about SpongeBob! Squidward: I know more about SpongeBob than I care to! So I should decorate. Mrs. Puff:  Have you ever taught him to drive?! Plankton:  Have you ever tried to annihilate him?! Sandy: Now hold your horses! Seems like everyone has their own ideas about how to decorate for SpongeBob. Mr. Krabs, Squidward, Mrs. Puff, Plankton, and Bubble Bass:  Surprise! Sandy: Not now! Mr. Krabs: Well, since SpongeBob works for me, I know he'd like  a Krusty Krab theme! Plankton: Working for you means he's a masochist. So, a torture theme is the way to go.  Ow! Mrs. Puff: A driving theme is what SpongeBob would love. Squidward:  Hmm. Unleaded. Bubble Bass:  You're all lame! The theme has got to be Mermaid Man or nada. Squidward:  I'm obviously his idol. A theme based on me is the only — Sandy: Everybody hog-tie your lips and listen up!  Since we all know what SpongeBob likes best, how about each of us gets to decorate one section of the house? Mr. Krabs, Squidward, Mrs. Puff, Plankton, and Bubble Bass:  Oh! Sandy: Hiya!  Oh. Sorry, Squidward. Squidward:  Hmm. Sorry, Squidward... Bubble Bass:  Behold my super pit power! Squidward: No, no, no! Mrs. Puff: Ew!  Will you kindly keep your Squidward puddle on your side of the line?! Mr. Krabs: Ha! You tell him, sweetheart.  Whoa!  That hurt-erer. Plankton:  Oh, yeah, looks like the Party Wars are just beginning. Sandy: Eew! Mr. Krabs:  You did that on purpose. Sandy: Aw! Tell it to your Aunt Chovy! Old Man Walker:  Well, I need to use the little boy's room. Mrs. Puff: Oh, yes! What I need is you! Old Man Walker: Oh, just — wait a minute, lady! Mrs. Puff:  Now my Pedestrians Have The Right Of Way display is perfect! Old Man Walker: Is this the restroom? Bubble Bass: Why do you get to use this elder? I saw him first! You'll make a great Mermaid Man. Old Man Walker: There's only one thing I want to make. Rube: Aren't these leafy things amazing?",Ooh! My friend Sandy has one of these. They call them trees.
"SpongeBob, Patrick, Rube, and the tourists:  Whoa! Rube:  I didn't know that. Wow! Look at the big brain on the birthday boy! Patrick: Nobody looks at my friend's brain without permission! SpongeBob, Patrick, Rube, and the tourists:  Whoa! Dog Walker: Oh, who's a good dog?  Go get it! Go get it! Go get it, girl! Get it! Yeah!   Good girl!","What a birthday! Beach giraffes, pie-dragons, and beans! Oh, I can't wait to see what happens next!"
"Rube: Oh, my! It's a flying pie! SpongeBob, Patrick, and the tourists: Ooh! Patrick: And here comes the pie-dragon! Rube: That sure was a close one, eh, folks? Amazing! Dog Walker:  Whoa!",It's coming back!
Rube: We're not pie! Why is it chasing us?! Why? Why?,"Patrick, let go of that pie!  Bad Patrick, bad!  Yah!"
"Patrick: Aww, I wanted flying pie.",Take this instead
"Rube: Okay. We'll stay on the path, where it's not so dangerous. And I think that this is the perfect time to sing Happy Birthday to our little square friend here! Patrick, Rube, and the tourists: ♪ Happy birthday — ♪ Charlie: Look out! SpongeBob, Patrick, and the tourists: Road hog! Party Guests: Oh, boy. Oh, man, I am starving. I haven't been to a party in 20 years. Larry: Yo, dude.  Is this the line for SpongeBob's party? Slappy: Oh, yes. Mmm...  I brought the birthday cake. Larry: It's gone. Slappy: Oh, no, it's still here. Larry:  Do me a favor, Slappy. When we're inside, stay away from me. Party Guests: Say, what a party!  They really dressed up the place. Yeah, there it is. Smells great. Margaret SquarePants: Our boy sure has a lot of interesting friends. What kind of party food is that, dear? Harold SquarePants: Uh, aquarium fish flakes. Margaret SquarePants: Well, now it is a party! Mr. Krabs: Step right up to enter the Krusty Krab section of this party. Old Man Walker:  What do I do to get in? Mr. Krabs: Just consent to a pat down, old timer. Old Man Walker: Oh, boy. Okay. Mr. Krabs:  Ooh!  Okay, you're good. Squidward:  Hmm. Lowbrow compared to highbrow. Say, aren't you a little old for this weenie wizard stuff? Bubble Bass:  I am casting a vanishing spell upon you. Begone! Squidward: Begone!  Water! Bubble Bass: Huh? Ooh! I have powers! Harold and Grubby Grouper: Ooh! Cake! Sandy: Please, everybody, don't eat the party food!  We have to wait for SpongeBob! It's supposed to be a surprise! Party Guests: Surprise! Sandy: Not now! Party Guests: Aww! Evelyn Annette:  Sorry. Sandy:  Please be careful. Sandy: Hey, hey, hey! Don't sit on that table! Slappy: Oh, I'm just having fun, and I brought cake. Sandy: Aww! I just had my tail done! This makes me hotter than a billy goat in a pepper patch!  Hiya! Slappy: Surprise. Sandy: Not yet. Tom: Hey!  How much for this one? Squidward: Oh, no. That's a present for SpongeBob—ten bucks. Tom: Here's some fun back at ya!  I love your work.  Have you got anything heavier? Sandals: Ow, man. What the heck? Plankton: It's a theme party. Get into it. Say it, Fred. Fred: No. Plankton: Say it! Fred:  My leg. Grubby Grouper:  Party games! Sandy: Hey! Don't do that! Sandy: Uh-oh. I hope someone brings a wall as a present.  Make that two walls. Mrs. Puff:  Whoa, whoa, whoa! Sandy: Great idea, Puff! Some positive energy! Hey, everybody!  Dance party!  Yee-haw!  Come on, boys. Move those feet! Do-si-do! Sandy: SpongeBob better come home soon. I don't know how long I can keep these folks dancing.  Oh, you took me by surprise. Party Guests: Surprise! Sandy: Not now!","Wow! In Surface Land, everywhere you go is full of surprises!"
"Patrick: Yeah, I'm surprised we haven't crashed yet. SpongeBob, Patrick, and the tourists: Wow! Rube: As you can see, Surface Land is full of unexplained wonders! SpongeBob, Patrick, and the tourists: Whoa!","Best birthday ride ever!  I've read about this place, Patrick. It's the Paperclip Jungle!"
Patrick: They're everywhere. Female Office Employee #1: Just let me copy it! Female Office Employee #2: My fault? How is it my fault?,"Ooh, what happens in here?"
"Patrick: Smells like flop sweat! Rube: Shh! This is the secret hive of the Double-breasted Seer Suckers. Let's watch their strange rituals! SpongeBob, Patrick, and the tourists: Ooh! Female Office Employee #3:  He's coming! SpongeBob, Patrick, Rube, and the tourists: Huh? SpongeBob and Patrick: The pie dragon! Rube: This bunch of bananas is getting too crazy to comfort. We'd better split! PA System:  Lunch time! Boss, the Dog, the Dog Walker, and Office Employees:  Huh? Rube: Crash positions, everybody! SpongeBob and Patrick:  Crash positions! Check!",The Trusty Slab? Sounds familiar.
"Rube: Whew! Sorry for the detour, folks. Now back to de-tour. Patrick: Ooh!  They grow 'em big up here, SpongeBob! Oh, come here. Rube: Let's watch these hungry beach giraffes as they struggle to communicate. Patrick (live-action): No, no, wait! Uh, I'll have the, uh... Mr. Manward: Sir, could you please order something? There are a lot of people waiting here. Some of us have lives. Patrick (live-action): Oh, don't rush me! I almost had it! Uh... Patrick:  That guy's so dumb! Carol: Where in tarnation is my lunch?! The service here is slower than a three-legged dog in molasses! Mr. Slabs:  Me customers! All right, all right, all right! What's the hold up here, Mr. Manward? Mr. Manward: How should I know? Go ask your persnickety fry cook. Between him and this other idiot, we're not gonna make it through the lunch rush alive. Mr. Slabs: Well, I'll just see about that!  You'll be having the number three with cheese! Patrick (live-action): Aw, that's what I was gonna order.  I'll have the—the number cheese with cheese. Mr. Manward: Don't you have somewhere else to be a nitwit? Patrick (live-action): Not until 4:00. Mr. Slabs:  JimBob! JimBob: Hi! Mr. Slabs: Got a restaurant full of hungry customers out there! Where are the burgers? JimBob: Ooh, Mr. Slabs, you know that I can't serve a Slabby Patty ♪until it's cooked just right!♪  ♪Slabby Patty and it's cooked just right, Slabby Patty, day and night, what a nifty tasty sight! Slabby Patty and it's cooked just right—♪",I love this guy!
"JimBob:  ♪Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo! Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo!♪ Mr. Slabs: Enough of that! JimBob: Sorry, sir. Mr. Slabs: Get those ship-shape burgers shipped out or you'll be doing soft shoe across the street at the Crumb Basket! JimBob: Yes, Mr. Slabs. It won't happen again, Mr. Slabs. Sorry, Mr. Slabs. Mr. Slabs:  Hmm, that'll be the day... JimBob: All right, troops, prepare to be deployed! SpongeBob and Patrick: Ooh! Patrick: Giant patties! JimBob:  What fun!","Ooh, I just gotta get a closer look at that glorious spatula!"
"JimBob: Oops, forgot the cheese!","Oh! Patrick! Patrick, help!"
"Patrick:  Huh?  Oh! I'm coming, buddy!","Never get out of the bus, Patrick. Never get out of the bus!"
"Patrick: Who's hungry? Rube: Amazing! Lunch time, everybody! Carol: Where's the meat? Dagnabit! That's it!  I'm taking my business elsewhere! Mr. Charleston: You're not going anywhere, sister! Sit down!  And everybody freeze! This is a robbery!  Slabs!  Show yourself! Mr. Slabs:  You can only have me register over me cold lifeless shell! Mr. Charleston: Nobody wants your stupid money. Mr. Slabs: Huh? Mr. Charleston: Hand over the Slabby Patty secret sauce recipe and nobody gets vaporized, see?  You all have until the count of three. A-one, a-two... Carol:  Ha! Karate chop!  You're welcome! Patrick: Ha! She chopped him real good! Mr. Slabs: Fear not, gentle customers. This is not a robber.  This is my lame competition across the street,  Charleston! Mr. Charleston: What gave me away? My voice? Mr. Slabs: No, your knit cap had one eye hole. Mr. Charleston: Ugh! Foiled by a hand crocheted gift! Mark my words, Slabs, maybe not today but, oh, someday, that secret sauce recipe will be mine! Mr. Slabs: Nice try, weirdo. Mr. Charleston:  Where am I? Rube: Well, feeding time is over. Hang on, everybody! Patchy: Eh, my Potty needs to use your potty. Mr. Manward: Sorry. No. Patchy: Sorry, Potty, you'll have to hold it. Come on! Potty:  Easy for you to say! Rube:  Oh, excuse me, sir.  Oh, pardon me!","Ooh, that was delicious. I love surface food!"
"Patrick: You missed a spot. Charlie: Ugh! Thanks. Rube: Okay, everybody, the next point of interest is coming up in just a few short minutes, so just relax and enjoy the—","Stop the bus!  Rube, what is that?!"
"Rube: Oh, that's what they call a fish prison. And one thing is for sure, you don't ever want to end up in there. Pearl Slabs: Huh?  Who left this aquarium out here?  Hi, nice to meet you! Sandy: I feel like I've got three wheels down and my axles are dragging.  Where in tarnation is SpongeBob?",No!
"Pearl Slabs: There! That's better! Rube: Okay, no need to panic, everyone. Just a slight delay! Heh.  Come on. SpongeBob, Patrick, Rube, and the tourists:  Ooh!",What kind of monster would want to keep fish folk in jail like this? They're so beautiful.
Patrick: Yeah!  Aww.  I want to kiss that one!,"Uh,  I'm just gonna head back to my seat."
"Rube:  Come on. Come on! Patrick: Having trouble? Rube: Yeah. It's amazing. I can't get this dang thing to budge. Patrick: Uh, hey! I have a great idea! I'll be right back! Rube: Well, while we wait for the great idea,  let's all sing Happy Birthday to our fellow passenger! Rube and the tourists: ♪Happy—♪ Patrick:  Ho, ho!  I just knew that empty aquarium would break your fall! Rube: That was a great idea, Patrick! Now we can get out of this scary place.","Wait, Rube! We can't leave all these fish behind!"
"Patrick: Yeah! I'm in love! Rube: I understand how you feel, Birthday Bob, but what can we do about it?",Ooh!  Whee!
"Rube: This is the most amazing thing I've ever done! SpongeBob, Patrick, Rube and the tourists: To the beach! Rube: Okay, everyone, we are about to begin our final descent into Bikini Bottom. So this is your last chance to take snapshots before we submerge. Dog Walker:  Dog!  Yeah! Beanie McBeans: Beans! Patrick: I'm so hungry still.",Did you see that?
"David Hasselholf:  Wow, it's a submarine! That's amazing! Rube:  Whoops! Excuse me! Potty: Brawk! I'm outta here! David Hasselholf:  Hey, you ran over my foot! Patchy: Uh, I don't think so. I— David Hasselholf:  I've had it with the beach! I'm going to live in a volcano, where it's safe.","Good-bye, sweet Surface Land. I'll never forget you."
"SpongeBob, Patrick, Rube and the tourists: Good-bye! Bye! Patrick: Good-bye, my love! Patchy:  Thanks for sticking up for me, Potty, ya big coward! Potty: I moved like a cat! Patchy: I hope that beach bozo didn't damage SpongeBob's gift!  Now if I can only find a way to get out to—  Ooh! That island!  Then I can drop the present over Bikini Bottom. Potty: Maybe you could take a ride on that? Patchy: Ooh!  All right, Potty, I'm ready! Fire! Potty:  Bombs away! Potty: Hooray! Yippee! Patchy: We did it! Potty, we did it! Rube: Well, that's the end of our tour, folks. I hope you all enjoyed yourselves. I sure as heck did!","You were right, Rube, that was..."
"SpongeBob and Patrick: Amazing! Rube: I'm just sorry we never had time to sing Happy Birthday to ya, SpongeBob.","Well, how about now?"
"Rube: You got it, birthday boy! Let's sing Happy Birthday, everyone! A-one and a-two... Rube and the tourists: ♪Happy birthday—♪",Nice try! Maybe next year!
"Old Man Walker: Oh, no! He's here! He's here! SpongeBob! SpongeBob is here!","Well, of course I'm here. Great job with your walker! You walked really far."
Patrick:  Maybe I should get one of these walking things.  How many miles to the gallon?,"Why don't we just let Old Man Walker get home, Patrick?"
"Old Man Walker: Home? No, I— Patrick: Here, let me help.  Pow! Old Man Walker: SpongeBob's here!",I hope I'm that spry when I'm his age.  Huh. Must have forgotten to take my keys.
"Patrick: It looks open. SpongeBob's friends, family, and party guests:  Surprise...",A surprise party? For me?
"Patrick: Oh, yeah. I was gonna tell you.  Surprise!","Oh, thank you, everybody. You've made this the best birthday I ever had. My spongy heart is bursting with joy 'cause I know I have the love of my pet, Gary..."
Gary:  Meow.,"And my family...  and I have the love of my friends.  And I live in the bestest place in the whole wide world, Bikini Bottom, where nothing bad can ever happen, and there's nothing to ever, ever be scared of. From your biggest fan. Hmm? I have a fan?"
"Patchy: Ahh, surprise!  It's Patchy the Pirate! Happy birthday, SpongeBob!","Oh!  Thank you, Patchy!"
Patchy: Guess I didn't really think this head-in-a-box thing through all the way. I don't really know what to do now.,"Well, I still haven't gotten my birthday song."
"Patchy: Ooh, you'll get it now!  ♪Ooh, who's having a birthday under the sea?♪","♪Me, me, me, me!♪"
"Patchy: ♪With presents and cake and caller ID♪ SpongeBob's friends, family, and party guests: ♪SpongeBob SquarePants♪ Patchy: ♪Would you like to send him a nice birthday wish?♪ SpongeBob's friends, family, and party guests: ♪Yes, we would!♪ Potty:  ♪Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish♪ SpongeBob's friends, family, and party guests: ♪SpongeBob SquarePants, SpongeBob SquarePants♪ David Hasselholf: Happy birthday, dude. Kel Mitchell: Happy birthday, SpongeBob! JoJo Siwa:  SpongeBob, happy birthday! Tiffany Haddish: Happy birthday, SpongeBob! Thomas F. Wilson: Happy birthday, SpongeBob! Sigourney Weaver: SpongeBob, it's your birthday. Congratulations. Heidi Klum: Happy, happy birthday, SpongeBob! Kal Penn: Happy birthday, SpongeBob! John Goodman: Happy 20th, SpongeBob! Lana Condor: Happy birthday, Spongebob! Jason Sudeikis: Happy birthday! RuPaul: Happy birthday, SpongeBob! Vernon Davis: Happy birthday, buddy! Rob Gronkowski: Happy birthday, my friend! Allan K. Washington, Danny Skinner, Ethan Slater, and Lilli Cooper: Happy birthday, SpongeBob! Happy birthday! Gilbert Gottfried: Happy birthday, SpongeBob! SpongeBob's friends, family, and party guests: ♪SpongeBob SquarePants!♪",♪Happy birthday to me! SpongeBob SquarePants!♪
"Patrick: By the way, SpongeBob, how old are you?","Well, as of today, I am—"
"Cut Version Patchy: Oh, hi, kids! Patchy Pirate here on a glorious day. I'm going to deliver this here very special present to SpongeBob on his birthday. That is, if I can get this blasted boat to start.  And start! Potty: Maybe if you remembered to fill the tank with gas... Patchy: Oh, Potty, you're full of gas! Get outta here! Potty:  I see the problem! Patchy:  Walking is better than driving anyway. I've been meaning to work on me land legs. Potty: Squawk, squawk! Patchy:  Now to see which way the wind is blowing.  This way!  Whoa! Potty:  Hard to port! SpongeBob's alarm clock: Wake up! Gary:","What? Today? My birthday? Oh, Gary, you know I never pay attention to those sorts of things. Oh, wow, Gary! Did you make me this jellyfishing net yourself?"
Gary:  Meow!,Best present ever!
Patrick:,"Hi, buddy."
Patrick: Uh...,"You remembered my birthday! Oh, and you got me a sight-seeing bus tour as a present!"
"Patrick:  Huh? Oh, oh! No, SpongeBob. I got you a sightseeing tour as a present.","Whoo-hoo! Oh, this is so exciting! I wonder where we're going?"
"Rube: We're going to Surface Land! SpongeBob, Patrick, and the tourists:",Surface Land?
"Patrick: Rube:  Hi, everybody, and welcome to Surface Land Tours! I'm your tour guide, Rube. SpongeBob, Patrick, and the tourists: Hi, Rube! Rube: Before we drive to the amazing Surface Land, I'm required to read you these tour bus rules.  Please sit in an upright position.  Absolutely no bad language!  No horseplay!  And no digging, no dancing, no tanning, no cooking, no fencing, no drowning, no molting, no running, no trespassing, no peeking, and no balloons!",Aww. Not even birthday balloons?
"Rube:  Oh, my goodness! Is it your birthday?",Yes!
"Rube: Well, I would love for everyone to sing happy birthday to you! Tourist #1: Yes!","Aww, really? That is so—"
"Rube: Not now, of course. Tour time is tight!  Whoa!  Okay, everybody, we're on Upseedaisy Street, and ready for lift off! SpongeBob and Patrick: Lift off? Rube: Amazing!","Oh, are we there yet?"
"Rube: Almost. But we need a little boast to the surface. SpongeBob and Patrick: Yay! David Hasselhoff:  Ah! Tartar sauce! Rube: Now remember, everyone, keep your arms and legs inside the bus at all times 'cause we are about to encounter a gaggle of nearly naked beach giraffes! SpongeBob, Patrick, and the tourists: Ooh! SpongeBob and Patrick: Nearly naked beach giraffes! Rube: Don't worry, everyone. The beach giraffes may look crazy, but they're actually peaceful creatures. Let's get a closer look. Can: Hey, kids, welcome to Beach Blanket Bean-go!  And here's your host, Beanie McBeans! Beanie McBeans:  Hey! What do you want? Beach Goers: Beans! Beanie McBeans: When do you want them? Beach Goers: Beans! Beanie McBeans: Ha, ha! Beach Goers: Beans, beans, beans...! Beanie McBeans:  Beans, beans, good for your heart! They make you strong, they make you smart! When I eat beans, I squeal! I eat beans with every meal! You do, too! You know you do!  Beans, beans!  Beans, beans, beans! SpongeBob and Patrick: Ooh! Patrick: Oh, he's good. Beanie McBeans:  All right, you know the rules. First question: How many beans are in a 16 ounce can? Contestant: Uh? Three million? Beanie McBeans: Sorry! Wrong answer! Contestant:  Yeah! Patrick: So many beans!",Uh-oh.
"Rube:  Whoa! Patrick: Must have beans! SpongeBob, Rube, and the tourists: Whoa! Uh-oh! Patrick: Beans, beans, beans, beans, beans! Beach Goers: Whoa! Rube: Stop! Patrick:  Wrong answer!",Patrick! You ate all the water!
"Patrick: It's not my fault. The water got in the way! Rube: Passengers, do not panic! We can get water right over there. Female Beach Goer:  Okay. Perfect! Rube: Ah! And we're back!","Yeesh, I thought this was my birthday, not my deathday!  I'm sorry, Patrick. I was just kidding. Oh! What am I looking at?!"
"Rube: You're looking at an amazing creature that is just as afraid as you are of it. SpongeBob and Patrick:  I doubt it! Rube: I'm telling ya, that is a blue feathered northwestern pie-dragon. So calm down, guys. It only eats pies.  I was wrong! It's gonna eat us! Run! Dog Walker:  Whoa!","Wow! In Surface Land, everywhere you go is full of surprises!"
"Patrick: Yeah, I'm surprised we haven't crashed yet. SpongeBob, Patrick, and the tourists: Wow! Rube: Hey, is everybody hungry? Let's stop for a birthday lunch!",The Trusty Slab? Sounds familiar.
"Rube: This is a example of typical feeding station for surface folk. Rube: Let's watch these hungry beach giraffes as they struggle to communicate. Patrick (live-action): No, no, wait! Uh, I'll have the, uh... Mr. Manward: Sir, could you please order something? There are a lot of people waiting here. Some of us have lives. Patrick (live-action): Oh, don't rush me! I almost had it! Uh... Patrick:  That guy's so dumb! Carol: Where in tarnation is my lunch?! The service here is slower than a three-legged dog in molasses! Mr. Slabs:  Me customers! All right, all right, all right! What's the hold up here, Mr. Manward? Mr. Manward: How should I know? Go ask your persnickety fry cook. Between him and this other idiot, we're not gonna make it through the lunch rush alive. Mr. Slabs: Well, I'll just see about that!  You'll be having the number three with cheese! Patrick (live-action): Aw, that's what I was gonna order.  I'll have the—the number cheese with cheese. Mr. Manward: Don't you have somewhere else to be a nitwit? Patrick (live-action): Not until 4:00. Mr. Slabs:  JimBob! JimBob: Hi! Mr. Slabs: Got a restaurant full of hungry customers out there! Where are the burgers? JimBob: Ooh, Mr. Slabs, you know that I can't serve a Slabby Patty ♪until it's cooked just right!♪  ♪Slabby Patty and it's cooked just right, Slabby Patty, day and night, what a nifty tasty sight! Slabby Patty and it's cooked just right—♪",I love this guy!
"JimBob:  ♪Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo! Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo!♪ Mr. Slabs: Enough of that! JimBob: Sorry, sir. Mr. Slabs: Get those ship-shape burgers shipped out or you'll be doing soft shoe across the street at the Crumb Basket! JimBob: Yes, Mr. Slabs. It won't happen again, Mr. Slabs. Sorry, Mr. Slabs. Mr. Slabs:  Hmm, that'll be the day... JimBob: All right, troops, prepare to be deployed! SpongeBob and Patrick: Ooh! Patrick: Giant patties! JimBob:  What fun!","Ooh, I just gotta get a closer look at that glorious spatula!"
"JimBob: Oops, forgot the cheese!","Oh! Patrick! Patrick, help!"
"Patrick:  Huh?  Oh! I'm coming, buddy!","Never get out of the bus, Patrick. Never get out of the bus!"
"Patrick: Who's hungry? Rube: Amazing! Lunch time, everybody! Carol: Where's the meat? Dagnabit! That's it!  I'm taking my business elsewhere! Mr. Charleston: You're not going anywhere, sister! Sit down!  And everybody freeze! This is a robbery!  Slabs!  Show yourself! Mr. Slabs:  You can only have me register over me cold lifeless shell! Mr. Charleston: Nobody wants your stupid money. Mr. Slabs: Huh? Mr. Charleston: Hand over the Slabby Patty secret sauce recipe and nobody gets vaporized, see?  You all have until the count of three. A-one, a-two... Carol:  Ha! Karate chop!  You're welcome! Patrick: Ha! She chopped him real good! Mr. Slabs: Fear not, gentle customers. This is not a robber.  This is my lame competition across the street,  Charleston! Mr. Charleston: What gave me away? My voice? Mr. Slabs: No, your knit cap had one eye hole. Mr. Charleston: Ugh! Foiled by a hand crocheted gift! Mark my words, Slabs, maybe not today but, oh, someday, that secret sauce recipe will be mine! Mr. Slabs: Nice try, weirdo. Mr. Charleston:  Where am I? Rube: Well, feeding time is over. Hang on, everybody! Patchy: Eh, my Potty needs to use your potty. Mr. Manward: Sorry. No. Patchy: Sorry, Potty, you'll have to hold it. Come on! Potty:  Easy for you to say! Rube:  Oh, excuse me, sir.  Oh, pardon me!","Ooh, that was delicious. I love surface food!"
"Patrick: You missed a spot. Charlie: Ugh! Thanks. Rube: Okay, everybody, the next point of interest is coming up in just a few short minutes, so just relax and enjoy the—","Stop the bus!  Rube, what is that?!"
"Rube: Oh, that's what they call a fish prison. And one thing is for sure, you don't ever want to end up in there. Pearl Slabs: Huh?  Who left this aquarium out here?  Hi, nice to meet you! Sandy: I feel like I've got three wheels down and my axles are dragging.  Where in tarnation is SpongeBob?",No!
"Pearl Slabs: There! That's better! Rube: Okay, no need to panic, everyone. Just a slight delay! Heh.  Come on. SpongeBob, Patrick, Rube, and the tourists:  Ooh!",What kind of monster would want to keep fish folk in jail like this? They're so beautiful.
Patrick: Yeah!  Aww.  I want to kiss that one!,"Uh,  I'm just gonna head back to my seat."
"Rube:  Come on. Come on! Patrick: Having trouble? Rube: Yeah. It's amazing. I can't get this dang thing to budge. Patrick: Uh, hey! I have a great idea! I'll be right back! Rube: Well, while we wait for the great idea,  let's all sing Happy Birthday to our fellow passenger! Rube and the tourists: ♪Happy—♪ Patrick:  Ho, ho!  I just knew that empty aquarium would break your fall! Rube: That was a great idea, Patrick! Now we can get out of this scary place.","Wait, Rube! We can't leave all these fish behind!"
"Patrick: Yeah! I'm in love! Rube: I understand how you feel, Birthday Bob, but what can we do about it?",Ooh!  Whee!
"Rube: This is the most amazing thing I've ever done! SpongeBob, Patrick, Rube and the tourists: To the beach! Rube: Okay, everyone, we are about to begin our final descent into Bikini Bottom. So this is your last chance to take snapshots before we submerge. Dog Walker:  Dog!  Yeah! Beanie McBeans: Beans! Patrick: I'm so hungry still.",Did you see that?
"David Hasselholf:  Wow, it's a submarine! That's amazing! Rube:  Whoops! Excuse me! Potty: Brawk! I'm outta here! David Hasselholf:  Hey, you ran over my foot! Patchy: Uh, I don't think so. I— David Hasselholf:  I've had it with the beach! I'm going to live in a volcano, where it's safe.","Good-bye, sweet Surface Land. I'll never forget you."
"SpongeBob, Patrick, Rube and the tourists: Good-bye! Bye! Patrick: Good-bye, my love! Patchy:  Thanks for sticking up for me, Potty, ya big coward! Potty: I moved like a cat! Patchy: I hope that beach bozo didn't damage SpongeBob's gift!  Now if I can only find a way to get out to—  Ooh! That island!  Then I can drop the present over Bikini Bottom. Potty: Maybe you could take a ride on that? Patchy: Ooh!  All right, Potty, I'm ready! Fire! Potty:  Bombs away! Potty: Hooray! Yippee! Patchy: We did it! Potty, we did it! Rube: Well, that's the end of our tour, folks. I hope you all enjoyed yourselves. I sure as heck did!","You were right, Rube, that was..."
"SpongeBob and Patrick: Amazing! Rube: I'm just sorry we never had time to sing Happy Birthday to ya, SpongeBob.","Well, how about now?"
"Rube: You got it, birthday boy! Let's sing Happy Birthday, everyone! A-one and a-two... Rube and the tourists: ♪Happy birthday—♪","Nice try! Maybe next year! My birthday in Surface Land sure was fun. But nothing beats Bikini Bottom! Where nothing bad can ever happen, and there's nothing to ever, ever be scared of."
Patrick: Look out!,From your biggest fan. Hmm? I have a fan?
"Patchy: Ahh, surprise!  It's Patchy the Pirate! Happy birthday, SpongeBob!","Oh!  Thank you, Patchy!"
Patchy: Guess I didn't really think this head-in-a-box thing through all the way. I don't really know what to do now.,"Well, I still haven't gotten my birthday song."
"Patchy: Ooh, you'll get it now!  ♪Ooh, who's having a birthday under the sea?♪","♪Me, me, me, me!♪"
"Patchy: ♪With presents and cake and caller ID♪ SpongeBob's friends, family, and party guests: ♪SpongeBob SquarePants♪ Patchy: ♪Would you like to send him a nice birthday wish?♪ SpongeBob's friends, family, and party guests: ♪Yes, we would!♪ Potty:  ♪Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish♪ SpongeBob's friends, family, and party guests: ♪SpongeBob SquarePants, SpongeBob SquarePants, SpongeBob SquarePants!♪",♪Happy birthday to me! SpongeBob SquarePants!♪
"Patrick: By the way, SpongeBob, how old are you?","Well, as of today, I am—"
"Johnny Elaine: Bikini Bottom Action News! Tonight's  top story: A wealthy entrepreneur, who wishes to remain  anonymous, is  sponsoring this year's  sleigh race. First prize:  one million dollars!  All of Bikini Bottom is entered, but only one hopeful will win. We join roving reporter  Perch Perkins live at the scene. Perch Perkins: The tension's building up as the  contestants line up to win the prize.","Gary and I are gonna  try to win the prize so Mr. Krabs can fix up the Krusty Krab.  Right, Gary?"
Gary: Meow. Patrick: I hear ya. I hope I win so I can buy all the Krabby Patties I want!  Good thing I brought out the heavy artillery  Gooey Worms!,"Uh, Patrick those don't move."
"Patrick: Sure they do! Giddy up!  Hyah!  See? Robot Plankton: You don't stand a chance, Krabs! Karen and I--I mean, my worm and I are gonna whip your tail fin!  Right, worm? Karen: Ruff ruff. Robot Plankton: And with the prize money, I'll topple your restaurant empire  once and for all! Mr. Krabs: Ha! Where fetchin' money's involved, nobody topples me. Announcer:  Contestants, ready your sleds. Perch Perkins:  Excuse me, sir.  How do you think you'll do in the race? Squidward: Hello out there Bikini Bottom!  I'm glad I can finally talk to my adoring fans on television! Perch Perkins: Best of luck to ya.  Oh, excuse me miss... Announcer:  On your marks... Plankton: So long suckers. Announcer: ... get set,  go! Patrick: Come on, wormies! Giddy up!  Hmm. French Narrator: Meanwhile, back in the lowlands... Plankton: Alone at last!  Now, there's nothing between me and the secret formula! Mr. Krabs: C'mon, boys! Get me to the greenbacks! Robot Plankton: I think not old man. Turbo boost, Karen! Mr. Krabs:  No!  I can't let him win. Sandy:  Don't worry, he won't.  I will.  Yeehaw! Patrick:  Hi, SpongeBob.",Hi Patrick. Where's your sleigh?
Patrick: I dunno.,Hop in. We'll give you a lift.  Come on Gary!
"Plankton: Hehehehe!  Locked?! Ugh.  Good thing I brought this along.  I'm gonna need something with more firepower. Sandy: Woo wee! Looks like I lost them!  The remote shorted out! The robots are stuck in high gear! Whoa!  Aaaa! Squidward: Those dimwits don't stand a chance against my imported worm.  Hey! What's the big idea?! Worm: (speaks in a British Accent) I beg your pardon. It's tea time, anyway. Squidward: I don't have time for this!  Tea time. Of all the ridiculous concepts!' ' Patrick: Whoa! Look at that!",Squidward! Buddy!  He doesn't look so hot. We better take him with us.
Patrick: Good idea. Gary: Meoow...,"Patrick, do you hear that?"
"SpongeBob & Patrick: Sandy? Sandy:  Th-th-th-th-th-thanks, guys.","No problem, right, Gare?"
"Gary:  Meow...  Errrgg! Mr. Krabs: Sniff out the money, little guys! Come on! Marsh!  Wai-wait a minute. I was gonna feed ya! Honest! Mr. Krabs:  Heeelp!",Hi Mr. Krabs.
Mr. Krabs: I just been turned into lunchmeat by me own worms!,"Aaaaa! Hop in, sir! We'll get you out of here!"
"Mr. Krabs:  Much appreciate it, boy! Everyone except Squidward: Faster! Faster! Faster! Gary: Mooowww... Everyone: Faster! Faster! Everyone: Faster!",This is a dead end!
"Everyone: Gary:  Rooooooooarr!  Meow. Mr. Krabs: Great. Now we're trapped. [cuts to everyone around a fire, made with SpongeBob's hat, but still shivering. Mr. Krabs: Good thinkin', squirrel! This should keep us alive for at least... a few hours... oh... Patrick:  It's-s-s... so c-c-cold!",Hey! How about a campfire song?
"Squidward: No Singing! Everyone: Squidward! Squidward:  Alright, alright! Someone get me a blanket. Mr. Krabs: Hey Squidward, what is it with the extra foot, buddy? Squidward:  Huh? This isn't mine...  Waaaahhh! All: Mr. Krabs: Not you again! Sandy: Ha! Slimey snow vermin! You missed! Mr. Krabs: That's weren't the attack. Sandy: Huh? Mr. Krabs: Hit the deck!",Gary!
Squidward:  Oh no... not again... Mr. Krabs: She's reloading! Now's our chance to scram.,What is that formidable creature?
"Mr. Krabs: That, me boy, is none other than the Abominable Snow Mollusk.",I thought that was just a myth.
"Mr. Krabs: Oh, I assure you, she's no myth! She's as real as Santy Claus. Twas back when I was young sea captain,  sailing in the Atlantic sea. When the behemith and i first tangled.","Don't tell me, Mr. Krabs. You peeled back those tentacles with your bare claws! You single-handedly saved your vessel from certain DOOM!"
"Mr. Krabs: Nope, that didn't work.  She gulped me and me crew down in one swift swallow.","Oh my! Well, at least you bravely escaped to tell the tale."
"Mr. Krabs: Weren't bravery that got us out. Let's just say... We had to wait... for nature, to take its course.",Hm? Oh! Ew.
"Sandy: I'd hate to break up story time, but I'd like to NOT GET EATEN today!","Gary! Step on it!  Oh yeah, Gary, you are really motivated now! Right, guys?  We forgot Squidward!  Left, Gary! Left! There he is! Patrick, I need a Gooey Worm!"
"Patrick: Oh, be gentle, it's my last one!",Hold on tight!
"Gary: Meow. Patrick: SpongeBob! Come on!  Let's get outta here! Sandy: Woo, wee! That was a close one, wasn't it, Mr. Krabs? Huh?  Of all the horn swabbles! The banit's trying to weigh us down and make with the prize himself! Mr. Krabs: Argh argh argh! I'd sooner swallow a jellyfish than share me winnings with y-- Sandy: We can't let that double crosser beat us to the loot! Full speed ahead and don't stop for nothin', Gary! Patrick: Hey! Sandy:  What's the big emergency, Patrick? Patrick: I saw something shiny. Sandy:  Oh! Well, let's just drop everything, then!","Oh, wait, Sandy, I see it too! It looks like... Karen. Karen?"
"Sandy: I say she's in swift need of a reboot! Heee ya! Loading... beside it, and soon starts up.]","Huh?  Plankton?  Poor guy, the ice is really getting to him."
Patrick:  Well we gotta bust him out but quick! I'm gonna sit on him!,"Patrick, no! He's very--...fragile."
Sandy: A simulacrum!,Sandy please! Language!
"Sandy: Naw, silly! I'm saying, Plankton set up a robotic dummy in his sled! Karen: That's right. My selfish husband remains in warm, sunny Bikini Bottom, while I freeze my solder off in this bitter tundra. In fact,  this whole race was a plot devised by Plankton.  With the entire town distracted, he's free to pursue the Krabby Patty formula undetected.",Pursue? Formula? We've gotta find Mr. Krabs right now!
"Sandy: And exactly how do you propose we find him? Karen: I saw Mr. Krabs pass by  just before my system failed, heading southwest.","Well, what are we waiting for?  You heard the lady, Gary, southwest! Mush! Mush!"
"Plankton:  Hehehehe!  Yeuch!  So the safe isn't vulnerable to flame, eh? It seems as though I'll have to get a little more destructive!  Ahem! I meant destructive! Gary:  Mooowww, meow meow meow moooww...","Attaboy, Gary!"
"All: Ahhhh! SpongeBob & Patrick: Ahh, whew. Sandy: Cliff! SpongeBob & Patrick: Sandy: Hold on, SpongeBob!","We made it! Hooray! Right, Squidward?"
"Sandy: Gasp! Oh, my gosh! Patrick! Lean to the other side!  Excuse me, ma'am. Karen: What? Sandy: Gotcha!","Hey, Sandy, have you given any thoughts on how we're gonna--...land?"
"Plankton:  Fire in the hole!  Rats. Sandy: Alright, fellas, I know it's cold. But let's just push forward and keep a lookout for a frozen crab! Patrick:  I can't feel my looking holes!",The only thing I can feel is my empty stomach.
"Sandy: You said it, SpongeBob! I already gnawed through all my provisions.  I'm getting to the point where I can eat just about anything!  Mmmm... sponge kabob...  Hey Patrick, you got any more of them Gooey Worms on you? Patrick: I wish I did. I lost my last one to the monster and now I'm so hungry! At least,  I still have this bag of Jelly Beans to hold me over.  Hey! Is this taxi even moving?!  Come on, Gary!","Gasp! Gary!  Oh, you poor fella! We put you too hard on you, didn't we? Sorry buddy, I won't make you tow another inch."
"Patrick: Great, now we're stuck.","No, we're not!  Hello, what's this?  Look! One of Mr. Krabs' sailor tattoos! It must've frozen off his brittle body."
"Sandy: We must be heading in the right direction! Plankton:   Secret formula, you are mine! Plankton: Perhaps I misjudged the skill on that one.  That does it! Listen up safe, I will spill your contents, even if I have to tear you apart.  Bit by bit!  Molecule by molecule!  Atom by atom!!  Uh-oh. Plankton: Surely, the safe couldn't survive nuclear detonation. Come to papa! Patrick:  Hey, i'm trying to sleep.",Mr. Krabs!
"Sandy: He ain't looking so good. We better get him to the sleigh, SpongeBob. SpongeBob? He froze up too. Squidward: Aaah. What? You're burning the sleigh!? Are you aware that that was our only mode of transportation? Sandy: And are you aware I just saved your life? Mr. Krabs: The race! The million clams!  I've been trapped in ice, mutinous thieves trying to cheat me out of me winnings. Karen: Oh cool down there are no winnings, you've been duped! Mr. Krabs: Duped? You don't mean by... Karen: Now you're putting it together! Mr. Krabs: My formula! We've got to get back to Bikini Bottom! Squidward:  We might actually have a chance of getting back if we had a sleigh. Mr. Krabs: We're doomed.",No we're not Mr. Krabs.  Your chariot awaits!
"Mr. Krabs: No offense, but we're not going to catch Plankton moving at a snail's pace. Sandy: Just leave that to the scientist of the group! Patrick:  Oh geez. Why do I have to do everything? Sandy: Patrick: Hahahaha! Sandy: She's all fired up!","Gary, Mr. Krabs, any hazards on the horizon?"
Mr. Krabs: Lookin' clear so far.,Squidward keep those circuits warm. Patrick hang on!
French Narrator: One frozen wasteland later.,Hooray! We made it.
Mr. Krabs: Okay... then where's my restaurant?,Perhaps over there..
"Mr. Krabs: And where's my formula? Sandy:  Perhaps over there. Mr. Krabs: The Chum Bucket, now serving... Krabby Patties?!",We're too late!
"Mr. Krabs: We'll see about that boy-o! Harold:  Whoa whoa whoa whoa, you can't cut in line. We've been waiting for a Krabby Patty for three stinking days! Mr. Krabs: This will only take a minute. Plankton:  Keep your pants on out there! I'll get your Krabby Patty just as soon as I get this bottle open. Mr. Krabs: Not if I have anything to say and or do about it! Plankton: Krabs! Why aren't you frozen under the barren tundra? Mr. Krabs: I guess I didn't want to miss the big unveiling of my sandwich. Plankton:  Well, it would have happened if I could've dislodge this stupid cork! Patrick: Oh, that's easy! All of them: Patrick! Plankton: Hahaha! I got it now, Krabsy. Sandy:  That may be true, Plankton, but you've got seven angry customers flanking you on all sides. Plankton: : Uh... well, I'm sure my loving wife is not a party to this angry mob. You-you've gotta help me here Karen! Karen:  You've gotta help me... My monitor nearly froze up for good on your little race to oblivion! Plankton: Babe don't blow an on amp over this, c'mon! Plankton: Yowza! Ow! That hurt on so many levels... Okay, I give up. You win again, Krabs. Mr. Krabs: Then hand over my formula. Plankton: Okay, Eugene. I'll just sign the surrender treaty first.  Oop! Here I go! Hahahaha! Out smarted you again, aye, fools? Mr. Krabs: You get back here, Plankton! Squidward:  Here we go again... Plankton: Mr. Krabs: Give up now and I'll let you keep one of your antenna! Plankton: I'd be delighted to see you try! Ooooooh! You're so close.  So long, suckers! Mr. Krabs: Huh? Everyone: Plankton: Hehehe! Mr. Krabs: We're trapped! Plankton: That's right, Krabs, and if you're thinking of busting out, mind the giant vat of fry grease beneath you. Mr. Krabs: He's going to turn us into fried snacks! Patrick: Got any dipping sauce? Plankton: A little taste of your own medicine aye crab cakes? Abominable Snow Mollusk:   Nom nom!",Nom nom?
Abominable Snow Mollusk: Nom nom!  Nom nom!,"W-wait big scary monster. Don't eat Patrick. Eat me, i'm packed with nutrients!"
"Sandy: No, eat me! Mr. Krabs: Don't eat me, eat Squidward! Squidward: Wait, what?! Abominable Snow Mollusk:   Nom nom!","She loves your jellybeans, Patrick!"
Plankton: I better go while the going's good. Abominable Snow Mollusk:   Jellybean! Plankton: I can practically taste those Krabby Patties now!,"Hey, Mr. Krabs, what happens to Plankton?"
"Mr. Krabs: He'll just have to wait for nature to take its course. Plankton:  Well, I suppose dear old dad was right. I should have minored in business administration. Squidward:  If it gets any hotter in here, we're gonna have to put fried calamari on the menu.",It's a good thing that new ceiling fan Mr. Krabs installed is still working.
"Mr. Krabs: Were you talking to me, Squidward?",Mr. Krabs. The f-f...
"Mr. Krabs: Good word, boy! Don't sneak up on me like that.",The fan... it...
"Mr. Krabs: You're not wearing shoes, lad. You're not going Section 8 on me, are ya?","I was wearing shoes. They... It's so hot, they melted off."
Mr. Krabs: Melted off? Squidward: The fan stopped working. Mr. Krabs: Huh?,"Mr. Krabs, you didn't... forget... to pay the power bill again, did you?"
"Mr. Krabs: Krabby Patty, fresh off the grill! Frank: Are they free? Mr. Krabs: Yes! Today, they're only three dollars! Each. Frank: Sounds great. But I left my wallet up on the sand. Squidward: I told you! Sandy: Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-",What?
Sandy: -eeeeeeeeeeeeeee- Frank: Sandy: -eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-haw! I love the beach!,"Oh, that noise was Sandy."
"Sandy: Y'all be careful! Looks like some big waves a-comin'! Squidward: Who are you? Mr. Krabs: Either you buy a patty, or get off me wave! Sandy: Cowabunga! Squidward: What next? Patrick:","Aloha, Patrick!"
"Mr. Krabs: Hey, there, young feller! How'd you like to be our first customer in over seventeen working days? Patrick: I'd love to! Mr. Krabs: Squidward, show him the menu. Squidward: Patrick: Uh, I can't quite see it from here. I'll just have to climb on board.","Ha, ha, ha! That's a good one Patrick: on-board! Whoa!"
"Mr. Krabs: Careful! You're gonna capsize us! Patrick: Almost up! Squidward: You idiot! Patrick:  Whoa, whoa, whoa! Eeeeeeee!",Patrick! Look out!
"Squidward: SpongeBob, what are you doing with that seaweed?",Just dragging it around.
"Twitch: Hey there, home-dads.",Huh?
Twitch: Welcome to our remote island.,Island?
"Squidward: Island? Twitch: That's right, kemo sabe. Island. Although, we sometimes refer to it as an... island.",We were just at Goo Lagoon selling Krabby Patties when this big wave hit us. Now we're on an island?
Twitch: The ocean works in mysterious ways. Awesome Eddie: And waves. Twitch: Mysterious waves. Island wanderers:  Om. Patrick:  Om.,How did you guys get here?
"Twitch: Oh, we've been here since we dropped out of junior college. This is Awesome Eddie, Big G... Chip: Hi. Twitch: Chip, and Silent Stan. Twitch: And I'm Twitch.",Why do they call you Twitch?
Twitch:  What?,Never mind. So what did you say this house is made from again?
Twitch: Guano. Squidward: Great.,"Well, it's been fun hanging out with you guys, but Mr. Krabs didn't give us the day off. So we gotta get back to Goo Lagoon."
"Twitch: Yo, you're miles from the tourist track now, dude. Awesome Eddie: Yeah. The only way back is to surf there.",O-only way.... back... surfing.... Bikini Bottom?  Aaaaahhhhhh!  I don't know how to surf!
"Awesome Eddie: Whoa, chill out, little dude. We can teach you.",Cool!
"Narrator: Ah, learning how to surf. To some it comes as easily as eating an ice cream cone on a hot day. Narrator: Others... Narrator: ... to them, it's like eating an ice cream cone... on a cold day. Sometimes, in surfing, it's the approach that's most important. SpongeBob and Patrick: Narrator: And sometimes, it's the retreat. Narrator: Once in a life-time, that perfect wave comes along. Not too big, not too small, and the surfer has to act fast... Twitch: Go! Narrator: ... or he stands to miss the ride of his life.","Hey, Patrick! Wanna see something cool?"
Patrick: You bet!,Down here!  See? It's a picture of Squidward!
"Patrick: Wow. Narrator: But all in all, in life, it's not whether we win or lose, but whether we get totally stoked. SpongeBob and Patrick: Twitch: Well, dudes, I give up. Awesome Eddie: What? Twitch: These ho-dads are impossible to teach.  Especially the one on the end over there. Awesome Eddie: What's that? Awesome Eddie: Oh, no. There's no way, dude. He'd never do it.",What's he saying?
Twitch: He reminded us that there is one dude who could possibly teach you. If you can find him.,Who?
"Twitch: His name  is Jack Kahuna Laguna. Or JKL, for short. Awesome Eddie and Chip: Amen. Twitch: We say that legend says that JKL was last seen up-river at the Kahmamoku Cove, where every wave is perfect. Patrick: Will there be nachos there?","Thanks again for letting us borrow these surfboards, Twitch."
Twitch:  No problem. And just keep following the river straight up until you hit Kahmamoku Cove. Can't miss it.,How far up stream did you say it was?
"Twitch: Well, we don't know cause we've never ever been there. Awesome Eddie: We're definitely afraid of this river and wouldn't even set foot in it if you paid us. Twitch: Yeah, interpret that any way you want. Sandy: Oh, where am I? Where is everybody? I'm stranded. SpongeBob, where are you?! ♪I'll make a beeline for the treeline. Getting back to nature always does me good. I'll make a beeline for the treeline, I just can't wait to get back in the woods. And if I need to close my eyes and dream, Of some quite mountain or stream, That's when I make the beeline for the treeline.♪",Could you pull over here? I gotta tie my shoe.
Squidward: Again?!,Welcome to Kahmamoku Cove! JKL! Guys! Guys! I found the Cove!
Squidward: I bet this guy won't even be here. If he's anything like that last group of dirty drop-outs.,"Oh, don't worry, Squidward. He'll be here."
Squidward: You've never even seen him!,You've got to stop judging people by the way they look.
Squidward:  You're right. Patrick:  Look!,It's him!
"Squidward:  Oh, my-",It's JKL!  Hail O great swami of the Gnarly Pounders! We seek audience with thee.
"Patrick: Plus, we wanna talk to you.","Will you teach us how to surf, O great one, so we may get back home?"
"Patrick: Uh... Squidward: Look, surf-boy, are you gonna teach us how to surf, or are we just gonna stand here and stare at you all day? Patrick: I kinda like staring at him.","I've never seen anything more beautiful. Have you, Patrick?"
"Patrick: Not since I saw my first triple-layer cheese cake. JKL: That... was your first lesson. Squidward: What? You call that a lesson? We just stood here and watched you surf for two and a half hours! JKL:  Just keep breathing. Mr. Krabs:   Look, Cashy!  Earrings! Well, Cashy, I guess the Devil's Galley isn't so bad. As long as that Flying Dutchman doesn’t appear and stick us in Davy Jones' Locker! But that won't happen, will it Cashy? Flying Dutchman: Ow! Mr. Krabs: Arrrgh! It's the Flying Dutchman! Flying Dutchman:  Aaahhh! It's some guy I've never seen before! Argh! Who be disturbing the Flying Dutchman's walk home from the convenience store? You even spilled me milk! Mr. Krabs: Well, there ain't no use crying over it.  Yah! Don't worry, Cashy! I’ll protect ye!","Isn't Jack Kahuna Laguna the most totally awesome surf guru you've ever met, Squidward?"
"Squidward: I don't know about you two, but I'd like to get out of here at some point, and if his idea of teaching us is... Squidward:  Oh, wonderful.","Quiet, Squidward! I think we're about to receive another lesson."
JKL:  Just... keep breathing. Squidward: That's it?! I just wanna go home!,Would it make you feel better if I went and talked to him?
"Squidward: Oh, thank you. Thank you, SpongeBob.  Well, did you talk to him?",Yup.
Squidward: And?,"He said we just have to stare into this fire all night, and the secrets will be revealed."
"Squidward: We're gonna be stuck here forever! Sandy: Well, Sandy, using only your bare hands and the resources found on this deserted island, you have not only survived, but thrived. You've built a five star hotel, a steam-powered generator, a car that runs on coconut milk, and even a espresso bar. I almost don't wanna leave. But I miss Bikini Bottom. Now I can find SpongeBob and the gang and fly us right back.  Acorn 1 to Tower. Request clearance. Dennis: Roger, Acorn 1. You are clear for take-off. Mr. Krabs: Oh, please, Mr. Dutchman! I didn't mean to spill your groceries! Flying Dutchman: Well, normally, I wouldn't mind, but I'm a little low on cash this month, and I have no way to pay for more. Unless you have some money I can borrow. Mr. Krabs: No, I...  Cashy! Please! Cashy is the closest thing to a friend I've ever had! Squidward: Oh, oh. Please tell me you two didn't stare into that fire all night. SpongeBob and Patrick:  Okay... Squidward: All right, I'm done! Hey, blondey! Teach me how to surf so I can go home, or I'm gonna... JKL: You obviously didn't stare into the fire all night like your friends over there. JKL: Those dudes are gonna make awesome surfers.",Where's he going?! Come on! Ahhhhhhhhhhh!
Patrick: Look! He's on top of that big... drinking fountain!,JKL! Is this the next part of our training?
"JKL:  Uh... SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward: JKL: These clouds. They can only mean one thing. Patrick: Increased chance of precipitation? JKL: Yes. Every thousand years or so, the planets align in such a way that a perfect wave is formed.",A perfect wave?
"JKL: The world's biggest, fastest, longest, gnarliest, most totally awesome, perfect wave. They call it.... the Big One. Patrick: Hey, that's what they used to call me! JKL: It's probably the only wave big enough for you to ride all the way back to Bikini Bottom. You'll have to catch it, or you'll be stuck here... forever.  The Big One is almost upon us. Mr. Krabs: Please! Please, Mr. Dutchman! Let Cashy go! I promise I'll never soil your waters again! Flying Dutchman: Ya promise? Mr. Krabs: Oh, yes. I promise on my dear Aunt Sally's false teeth. Flying Dutchman:  Liar! Mr. Krabs: What? Flying Dutchman: Your Aunt Sally doesn't wear false teeth! Mr. Krabs: How do you know? Flying Dutchman: Because I dated her in high school! Mr. Krabs:  No! Flying Dutchman: Whoops! Sandy: This weather sure is dangerous! I better be careful!  May Day! May Day! I'm goin' down! Repeat: Down! Flying Dutchman: And now, just to make sure this never happens again, I'm gonna send you on a little trip down the-  -Ooh ow, ooh ow! Ooh! Mr. Krabs: Uh... where is that, exactly? Sandy:  May Day! Mr. Krabs:  Oh, all alone again.  Cashy! Flying Dutchman:  Oh, what the... a tube sock? But that means... Davy Jones: Yeah, that's right, baby! Welcome... to my locker! Ha ha ha ha ha ha! ♪For a day-dream believer and a homecoming queen!♪ JKL: Get ready, dudes. It's coming.","JKL, thanks for teaching us how to surf."
"JKL: Little dude, I didn't teach you anything you didn't already know. Squidward: Here it comes!","Well, JKL, I guess this is good-bye."
"JKL: Wait. There's something I forgot to tell you. In return for its awesomeness, the Big One always demands a sacrifice. And one of you... will not return. Squidward: I volunteer SpongeBob.","Keep paddling, Patrick!"
Patrick: This wind feels like broken glass mixed with razor blades!,It's... the Big One!
"Big One: Ha ha ha ha ha! Patrick: No! Big One:  Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggg! Patrick: Hey, I was gonna eat that!","Patrick, grab on!"
Big One: Squidward:  Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!,"Hang on, Squidward! This is it!"
"Patrick: Time for those lessons to pay off! Squidward: Look! That's Mr. Krabs down there! Mr. Krabs: You like it when I comb your hair, don't ya, Cashy?",Mr. Krabs! Hop on or you'll be stuck here forever!
Mr. Krabs: Who said that?,Mr. Krabs! I never even got a chance to tell him that I...
JKL:  Looking for this?,JKL! And Mr. Krabs!
Mr. Krabs: And Cashy!  Cashy!,JKL! No!
"Nat: You hear a noise? Lifeguard: Everybody, look! A You-foe! Jimmy-Gus: A spaceman! Harold\Bill:  Don't make any funny moves, spaceman! You're not conquering our world without a fight! Sandy:  I'm not a spaceman, you dunder-head! It's me, Sandy! SpongeBob's friend. Beach goers: Sandy: Shucks. Now I'll never find SpongeBob and Patrick. Gus: Who? Sandy: My friends. They went surfing and never returned. Gus: Is one of them, like, a little square dude with big teeth? Sandy: You some kinda mind-reader? Gus: No. People: Welcome home!","Hey, Twitch!"
"Twitch:  Grab a guitar, dude! Let's party! Big G: Patrick: I love this song! Mr. Krabs: Squidward: Look!",JKL!
JKL: Just keep breathing. Mr. Krabs: Cashy!,"Turn it up, Chip! You know, Patrick, the Jellyfish migration is my favorite time of year! For three whole days, jellyfish from around the globe gather on one spot to trade jelly secrets.  Patrick, look! It's a blue-crested blaster! I've never seen one before! They're really rare. And a speckled squirter! A two fisted Jumper! And a gold-throated stinger!"
"Gold Throated Singer: La, la, la, la, la, la, la!","Oh, this year's migration is gonna be a big one!"
"Patrick: Uhh, SpongeBob?","Wow. This looks like a job for Ol' Reliable! Ah, that was the most beautiful day of jellyfishing ever."
"Patrick: Well, I didn't catch a thing with my dumb old net.","Lucky for me, I have Ol' Reliable! Carbon fiber handle, titanium alloy netting and form-fitting silicone grips. Yes, sir, Ol' Reliable is the best net in the world."
"Patrick: Wow! I would kill for a net like that! You know, something small like a carrot. But not spiders, they're icky.","Good night, Patrick."
"Patrick: Good night, SpongeBob.","Ah, I love jellyfishing.  Whoo! Time to get ready for day two of the jellyfish migration. And I'll start with my trusty jellyfishing net, Ol' Reliable.  Ol' Reliable?  It's gone!"
Gary: Meow?,"Oh, right. Pants."
Narrator: One pair of pants later...,"Patrick, Ol' Reliable has been stolen! Put one over there, Patrick."
Patrick: I'm all done.,Maybe we should spread out a little.
Johnny: Flash. The jellyfish migration enters it second day of fantastic jellyfishing. We now go live to our reporter on the scene. Perch Perkins:  This year's migration is the largest in a century! I feel truly sorry for the poor saps that will miss even one minute of this remarkable event.,"Attention, Bikini Bottom, my jellyfishing net has been stolen. I am prepared to offer a large reward for its safe return."
Mr. Krabs: Reward? How much we talkin' about?,12 dollars and...  ...38 cents.
"Mr. Krabs: I'm on the case. Perch Perkins: Guys, I know it's a slow news day, but come on.",Oh! Hello? Hello?
"Patrick: SpongeBob, did you get your net back?","Oh, get off the line, Patrick. Someone might be trying to call about Ol' Reliable!"
"Patrick: Oh, sorry.  Did you get your net yet?","No, Patrick. Don't call unless you found my net. Hello?!"
"Patrick: SpongeBob, I found your net!","What?! Really, Patrick?"
"Patrick: Uhh, oh, not really. I just got lonely.","Oh, I'll never get my net back. I'll just have to accept that Ol' Reliable is gone forever. Patrick's lucky. He gets to practice in the middle of the night with his jellyfish net.  Funny thing is, Patrick's net disintegrated yesterday."
"Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob, did you get Ol' Reliable back yet?","No, not yet. Hey, Patrick, wouldn't it be the funniest thing if you had taken my jellyfish net?"
Patrick: No.,"Yeah, that would be silly. Oh, that reminds me. I got you a present."
Patrick: A present? What is it?,It's a Confess-A-Bear. He's a special friend you tell all your secrets to.
"Patrick: Wow, thanks, SpongeBob!",I'll just leave you two alone to get acquainted.
"SpongeBob/Confess-A-Bear: Hi! My name is Confess-A-Bear! Tell me all your secrets. Patrick: Um,  I did something recently I'm not very proud of. I didn't mean to do it. It just sort of happened. SpongeBob/Confess-A-Bear: Oh, maybe you should talk about it. Patrick: Well, it involves my best friend SpongeBob. I don't think he knows what happened, but it would really upset him if he found out. SpongeBob/Confess-A-Bear: Tell Confess-A-Bear! Patrick: I've said too much already. SpongeBob/Confess-a-Bear: Tell Confess-A-Bear now! Now! Patrick:  I accidentally knocked SpongeBob's toothbrush in the toilet and put it back on the counter without washing it! Confess-A-Bear?  You're mad at me, aren't you, Confess-A-Bear?","Patrick, we need to talk."
"Patrick: Uh, don't come in! I'm not decent! The house is a mess! There's a radiation leak!","Hmmm...  Patrick, where are you? Why are the lights off?"
Patrick: I'm in here. Be out in a second.,Ol' Reliable! Ah...ha.
Patrick:  Hello.,"What's in your hand, Patrick?"
Patrick:  Nothing.,What's in your other hand?
Patrick:  Nothing in my other hand.,"Well, I gotta go."
"Patrick: Okay, bye.",Patrick wouldn't steal Ol' Reliable. Would he?
Patrick: I would kill for a net like that!,"Have I been best friends with a master thief? I must know for sure.  Good morning, Patrick."
"Patrick: Good morning, SpongeBob.","What are you going to do today, buddy?"
"Patrick: Eh, nothing.","Well, I'm off to work. See ya later, Patrick."
Patrick: Bye.,"Now, we'll just see what sort of nothing you're really up to, Sneaky McSneakyPants."
Narrator: Eight hours later...,"Oh, he is good. You never really know a guy until you stare at him for eight hours through high-powered binoculars. Hey, where'd he go?"
"Patrick: Hi, SpongeBob. What are you doing?","Uh, you... what the...? What are you doing?"
"Patrick: Nothing. I just finished.  Oh, hey, look. You can see where I was just standing from here. Boy, if you wanted to, you could have spied on me all day from right here.  Creepy, huh? Anyway, what are you doing with those binoculars?","I don't have any binoculars, see?"
Patrick: You're acting weird.,I'm not acting weird! You're acting weird!  You're... acting... weird!
"Patrick: Okay, bye!  Hello! Who are you?","Greetings, young fellow! I am willing to pay top dollar for jellyfishing items with sentimental value, if you know what I mean."
Patrick: Oh. No.,Word on the street is that you know where to get quality jellyfishing supplies hmm.
Patrick: What street said that? Was it this one?  Mind your own business!,"Oh Mr. Star, I know that you are in possession of a rare jellyfishing net.  I will pay one billion dollars for that net."
"Patrick: I don't know who you are, but you're not getting this jellyfishing net!  I wouldn't sell it for a million dollars, not for a hundred dollars, I wouldn't even sell it for a dollar!","Oh, really?"
Patrick: You can't have it for any price.,And why not?
Patrick: This means more to me than money. It's my friend SpongeBob's.,A-ha!
"Patrick: SpongeBob! Oh, thank goodness you're here. There was this scary guy with a mustache asking a lot of weird questions.","Patrick,  I'm the scary mustache guy!"
"Patrick:  Why, SpongeBob, why?! Why would you wear such a scary mustache?",Why did you steal my jellyfishing net?!
Patrick: What?! I'm your best friend!,"You were my best friend, you no-good jellyfish net thief!"
Patrick: How could you think that?,Because you said it! You said that it was your friend SpongeBob's!
Patrick: Gift.,What?
Patrick: It's my friend SpongeBob's gift.  I made you a new net.,"For SpongeBob. You made me a new jellyfishing net? That is so thoughtful of you! Patrick? What'cha doing, best friend?"
Patrick: I'm not your best friend. I'm a no-good jelly netting thief fish!,Where are you going?
Patrick: I'm leaving Bikini Bottom while I still have my dignity.,"Patrick, no!  So, this is it?"
"Patrick: Barring the unforeseen hand of fate, I'm afraid it is.","Patrick, don't go! I'm sorry I accused you! It's bad enough I lost my net. I don't want to lose my friend, too. Please forgive me."
"Nat Peterson: What's the holdup? Oh, it's you two.  Look, you left your net on the bus again.",Ol' Reliable? I left you on the bus?
Nat Peterson: You do it every week. Now can we get going?,"Patrick, I want you to take this to remember me by."
Patrick: You're giving me Ol' Reliable?  I accept your apology!,"Oh, come here, you big lug!"
"All: Aww... Nat Peterson: They do this all the time. I'm serious. I--ugh, never mind. Patrick: I'm staying in Bikini Bottom! Passengers: Hooray! Patrick: You want to go jellyfishing? I just got a new net.",So did I.  My best friend made it for me.
SpongeBob & Patrick: Whee!,"Hi, mailman! Okay,  see you tomorrow!"
"Patrick: Hey, the mail's here! What did you get?","Let's see...  Gary, Gary, Gary, Gary, Gary, Gary, hey! A magazine! That's funny, I don't remember subscribing to Fancy Living Digest."
SpongeBob and Patrick:  Whoa!,"Look at all these glossy depictions of a higher standard of living! This guy's so rich, he has a swimming pool in his swimming pool!"
"Patrick:  This guy's got shoes! Squidward: Give me that!  Stealing my mail, eh? You're lucky I don't report you to the authorities.","Hey, Squidward, how do the people in that magazine get all that money?"
Squidward: They're entrepreneurs. They sell things to people.,What kind of things?
Squidward: How should I know? Things people wanna buy.  Now keep your paws off my mail.,"That's it, Patrick! We gotta become entrepreneurs!"
Patrick: Is that gonna hurt?,"Quick, Patrick, without thinking, if you could have anything in the world right now, what would it be?"
Patrick: Uh...  More time for thinking.,"No, something real, an item, something you would pay for."
Patrick:  A chocolate bar?,"That's a great idea, Pat! We'll become traveling chocolate bar salesmen! Fancy living, here we come!"
Patrick: Make way for a couple of ontre-prenyouers!,"Okay, Patrick, this is it! The first step on our road to living fancy! Just follow my lead. Good afternoon, sir, could we interest you in some  chocolate?"
"Tom: Chocolate? Did you say, Chocolate?! Patrick: Yes, sir. With or without nuts? Tom: Chocolate?! CHOCOLATE?! CHOCOLATE! CHOCOLATE!","Okay, the first guy didn't count. This is our real first step!  Good morning, sir! Would you like to buy some chocolate?"
"Con man: Chocolate bars, eh?","Yes, sir, we are chocolate bar salesmen!"
"Con man: Ha! A couple of mediocre salesmen if you ask me. That's no way to carry your merchandise! Con man: No, no no no, wrong. You guys wanna be good salesmen, right? SpongeBob and Patrick: Oh, most certainly, sir! Con man: Well,  no self respecting candy bar salesman would be caught dead without one of these!",Wow... what is it?
"Con man: It's a candy bar bag, you knucklehead! It's specially designed to cradle each candy bar in velvet-lined comfort! Con man:  But, I'm wasting my time.  You don't need these bags. SpongeBob and Patrick: We need 'em! We need 'em! Con man: So long, boys! Happy hunting!  Suckers... SpongeBob and Patrick:  Fancy livin', here we come! La la la la, la!",Let's try next door!
Con man: Yes?,"Huh? Say, weren't you the same guy who sold us these candy bar bags?"
"Con man: I... don't recall. But it looks to me like you fellas have got a lot of bags there. You two lady killers are too smart to be without one of my patented Candy Bar Bag Carrying Bags. Patrick: We'll take twenty! Sadie: Oh, what can I do for you two nice young men?",We're selling chocolate bars. Would you like to buy one?
Sadie: That sounds heavenly! I'll take one.,"One chocolate bar, coming up!"
Sadie:  I don't have time for this.,I... got it! One chocolate bar for the nice—
Tom: Chocolate! Chocolate! Chocolate!,"—lady.  We're not doing so well, Patrick. We need a new approach, a new tactic."
Patrick: Hm... I got it! Let's get naked!,"No, let's save that for when we're selling real estate. There must be something. What was the reason we bought those bags?"
Patrick: He said we were mediocre...,That's it! He made us feel special!
"Patrick: Yeah, he did... I'm going back to buy more bags!","No, wait, Patrick! Why don't we try being nice?"
"Patrick: Oh, okay.","Remember, Patrick, flatter the customer. Make him feel good."
Blue Fish with purple stripes: Hello? Patrick: I love you.,"I think you laid it on a teensy bit thick there, old pal. Let me try."
Blue Fish with purple stripes: Please. G-Go away!,"Um,  H-H-How you doin'?"
Blue Fish with purple stripes: How am I doing?,Wanna buy some chocolate?
"Patrick: We got him now! Blue Fish with purple stripes: Sorry, chocolate has sugar and sugar turns to bubbling fat. Isn't that right, blubber boy? Patrick: Hee hee, it tickles! Blue Fish with purple stripes: As you can see, me and chocolate no longer hang. Blue Fish with purple stripes: You can keep that for five bucks. Patrick: I'll take ten!",We haven't sold one chocolate bar. I got a feeling that we're too easily distracted.
Patrick: Huh?,Let's make a pact right now that we will stay focused on selling at the next house.
Patrick:  Huh?,Let's shake on it.
Patrick:  Did you say something?,"Remember, Patrick, focus."
Purple Fish: Yes?,"Good afternoon, sir, we're selling chocolate bars."
"Purple Fish: Why is Chubby here staring at me? Patrick: Focusing. Purple Fish:  Back up, Jack! Patrick:  Nice place you got in here.",I can't understand what were doing wrong.
Patrick: I can't understand anything.,"There's something to this selling game that were just not getting. Other people do it, I mean look at that!"
"Patrick:  Eat Barnacle Chips, they're delicious.",They are most certainly not delicious!
Patrick:  Not the way I use them!,Yet they sell millions of bags a day!
"Patrick: Well, maybe if they didn't stretch the truth, they wouldn't sell as many.","That's it, Patrick! We've gotta stretch the truth!"
Tom: Chocolate!,"We'll work as a team. Let me get this customer warmed up, and then you come in for the kill!"
Patrick: The kill! Mary: Yes?,"Hello, young lady. We're selling chocolate.  Is your mother home?"
"Mary: Mom! Mary's Mother:  What, what, what's all the yelling? Mary's Mother: You just can't wait for me to die, can you? Mary: They're selling chocolate. Mary's Mother: Chocolate? Mary: Yeah! Mary's Mother: What, what are they selling? Mary: Chocolates! Mary's Mother: What? Mary: Chocolates! Mary's Mother: I can't hear you! Mary: They're selling chocolates! Mary's Mother: They're selling chocolate? Mary: Yeah! Mary's Mother: Chocolate. I remember when they first invented chocolate. Sweet, sweet chocolate. Mary's Mother: I always hated it!","Oh, but this chocolate's not for eating. It's for..."
"Patrick: You rub it on your skin and it makes you live forever. Mary's Mother: Live forever, you say? I'll take one. Mary's Mother:  Come on, you lazy Mary!  Start rubbing me with that chocolate! Mary:  I hate you.","If we keep exaggerating the truth, we'll be fancy living in no time!"
Patrick:  Hooray for lying!,It'll make your hair grow.
Fred: Great! My wife's trying to grow a beard!,They'll make you sound smart.
Customer:  I'll take twenty! Patrick: It'll keep your face from getting any uglier. Patrick 2: Just in time.,They'll make you fly!
Patrick: You'll fall in love!,They'll bring world peace!
Patrick: You'll walk through walls!,You'll rule the world!
Patrick: This'll be the best lie yet!,"Yeah, this guy will feel so sorry for us, he'll have to buy all of our chocolate!"
Customer: What can I do for you boys?,"Hello, sir. Would you like to buy a chocolate bar? We need an operation."
Customer: Really? Customer: Small world. What's the matter with you guys?,"Um, we've got some head trauma and internal bleeding."
"Customer: Ah, some guys have all the luck. Customer: I was born with glass bones and paper skin. Every morning, I break my legs, and every afternoon, I break my arms. Customer: At night,  I lie awake in agony until my heart attacks put me to sleep. Customer:  Oh, no... Customer:  Ow...","Quick, Patrick, let's help him! Careful, put him down gently."
Customer:  Ow...!,"Poor, poor man. If there's anything, anything we can do to help you?"
"Customer: Well, there is one thing... as you can well imagine, my medical bills are extremely high, but luckily, I am able to keep myself alive by selling... chocolate bars. Customer: Such nice boys,  it does my heart good to con a couple of Class A suckeroonies like those two! Ha ha ha!","Don't get me wrong, Patrick. It's great that we helped that guy out, but there's no one left in town to sell chocolate bars to. Let's admit it, Patrick. We're failures."
Patrick:  I can live with that.,Let's change our names to Why and Bother.
Tom: Chocolate!,No! Don't hurt us. Please don't hurt me. No no. Please...
Patrick:  No! Have mercy on me! Please spare me! Tom: Finally! I've been trying to catch you boys all day! Now that I got you right where I want you...  I'd like to buy all your chocolate.,Thank you for your patronage.
"Patrick: Are we living the fancy life yet, SpongeBob?","Not yet, pally! First, we got to spend all the money."
"Patrick: But what are we going to spend it on? Squidward:  Good evening, sir. Table for one, please. Server: Sorry, but the whole restaurant has been rented to a private party. Squidward: But it's my only night to be fancy! Oh, who could afford to rent out the whole restaurant? Server: Oh, a couple of rich entrepreneurs  and their dates.","So, how long have you two ladies known each other?"
"Mary's Mother: What? What did he say? French narrator: Last week, a never-before-seen episode of SpongeBob SquarePants was discovered under a desk at Nickelodeon Studios.  Now all the world is waiting in fevered anticipation to watch...  the SpongeBob SquarePants Lost Episode!  Now, to present the Lost Episode, from Encino, California, the president of the SpongeBob SquarePants fan club, Patchy the Pirate! Potty: Patchy! Patchy! The kids're here. Patchy: Wagh!  Hot! Hot! Hot! Potty, don't you know this is Patchy's private time?  Oh, hello! Dahh!  What are you all doing here? Potty: They're here to see the lost episode. Brawk! Patchy: But I haven't got the lost episode because I... well, I lost it! Children:  No, Patchy! Please! Don't say that, Patchy! Please! Patchy: But it is! It's lost and I have no idea where it is, so it's best if you forget all about old SpongeBob. French narrator: Remembering SpongeBob. Patchy: I don't believe I lost the Lost Episode.  I never lose anything. Potty: What about your leg? Patchy: Well, yeah, but... Potty: And your eye. Patchy: Well, the eye, I... Potty: And your hand. Patchy: And the h... oh, get out of here you blasted bird!  Hmm... if only I had a map to tell me where the Lost Episode is. Potty: What is it? Brawk! Patchy: Hey... it's a map! It's a map to the Lost Episode of SpongeBob I lost! Potty: It's a dream come true! Patchy:  We gotta go find it, Potty!  Oh, first I'll need me treasure hunting leg.  Come on, Potty! Ah! Times a-wastin'! Potty: Brawk! Patchy:  Ten paces past Mrs. Johnson's house. Mrs. Johnson: Would you boys like some cookies? Patchy: Put 'em in a doggie bag, Mrs. Johnson. Can't right now, we're on a treasure hunt. Mrs. Johnson: Okay, don't catch a cold. Patchy: Walk five fathoms past Don's Import Store and Delicatessen.  Half a league to the forked tree.  Oh!  Now all that's left is... Huh?! The seven trials of Monkey Lagoon?!  Merciful Neptune. Only for SpongeBob. Only for SpongeBob!  Whoa!  Whoa! Whoa!  Ow!  Ahh... Ahh... Ah!  We made it. We survived the trials. Oh, I'm really gonna dig this lost episode.  Dig it, get it? Potty:  You stink. Patchy: And I just got out of the shower.  Hey, Potty, I think I hit something.  Clever, bury your treasure above the surface. Potty: Brawk! Patchy:  This is it!  I don't know what it means either...  ...but I got what I came for. Come on, Potty, time's a-wastin'.  Yeah! Popcorn.  Soda.  Pickled garlic.  Hurry Potty, hit the remote! Potty:  Brawk! Patchy:  This is gonna be great.  I can't believe it. More SpongeBob.  This is so exciting!  Here it comes! Potty: Brawk. Pipe down. Patchy: That's it? That's the Lost Episode? That was just a bunch of cheap walk cycles! Potty: What a rip. Patchy: Grrrrr...  SpongeBob betrayed us!  I'm sorry I ever started this stupid fan club in the first place!  I'm gonna get rid of all my SpongeBob stuff! All of it! All of it!  All of it!  I'm gonna run away; that's what I'll do, run away! Potty: Sheesh, what a hothead. Announcer:  And now, the real Lost Episode. Potty: Brawk! Patchy, come back, there's more! Patchy:  Really?  Hooray, let's watch! French narrator: Here we see the proud jellyfish hunter.  He stands motionless to lure the jellyfish into a false sense of security.  And when his prey ventures to close, he springs into action.","Huh?   Ooh!  Phew! I salute you, oh majestic jellyfish.  Your command of the sky is unmatched. Floating just out of the reach of my net, but near enough that I can see your untamed beauty.  ♪If only I could join you there in the air. Floating free without a care. I wish I could fly. And see things with a different eye.♪  ♪I would fly so very high and touch the sky.♪  ♪And never have to ask why it is that I can't fly♪  Wait a minute, I'm forgetting the words of Grandpa SquarePants."
"Grandpa SquarePants: If we were meant to fly, we'd have propellers on our heads or jet engines on our backs.","I'm gonna follow his advice, by gum. I'll invent a flying machine!"
"Patrick: What's that contraption, SpongeBob?","That, Patrick, is a flying machine."
Patrick:,What's so funny?
"Patrick: Well, it's like my grandpa used to say. Grandpa SquarePants: If we were meant to fly...  Hey, I'm not your grandfather!","Well, here I go, Patrick!  I'm off to fly with the jellyfish! Ignition, check!  Landing gear...  check! Complimentary peanuts...  check-a-roo.  Ready for takeoff!"
Patrick: You cut a hole in Farmer Jenkins' grain silo!,Don't remind me.
Jenkins:  I knew no good would come from city folk and their flying machines! Now git! Patrick: We better do what he says. He knows how to grow food!,"Well, it took me all night, but here they are. The new blueprints! I wasn't even close with that last one. Propellers, rudders...  This one's gonna fly!  I can feel it. Ready, Patrick?"
Patrick:  Ready!,"It's working, Patrick! I'm flying! I'm...  falling!  Ooh! This is it, Patrick. The physics are all here. This time, I'm gonna fly! Behold."
"Patrick: Oh boy, a birthday party!","No, Patrick. This is the SquarePants Flyer Mark Three.  All you do is remove the brick, or ballast, and...  Huh?  Well, back to the drawing board."
"Patrick: Can we have the cake now?  Happy, happy birthday to you!","Patrick, get ready to say Eureka!"
Patrick: Okay!,Go!  It's working! I'm flying!
Cap Fish: Hey! Look at that guy tied to a kite! Fred: Why's he doing that? Nancy: Oh my goodness... Fred: Why's he doing that? Cap Fish: He'll fall and break his... Nancy: Can you see from up there?,"Do not be afraid, earthbound people. I am not a flying monster, I am just one of you.  D'oh!  Ow! Patrick! Ow! Patrick! Ow! Patrick! Ow! Patrick!  Excuse me, sir, but I would like to return this kite."
"Lou: Hey... I know you. Yeah, from today's paper!","Local nutcase tries to fly?! I'm a nutcase because I follow my dreams? Well, they laughed at the guy who invented light bulbs, too!"
Lou: No they didn't.,You'll see.
"Monroe: Look mom, it's the Bird Man of Bikini Bottom. Mable: Wow! I wonder why he's still using his legs. Monroe: Come on, Bird Man. Flap your wings and fly! Cap Fish: Hey, Bird Man, going to check on your eggs? Nancy: Maybe he's looking for a statue to poop on. Fred:","Go on and laugh, but it is a sad day in Bikini Bottom when a guy is ridiculed for having dreams!"
Mother #2: You think you're the only one with unfulfilled dreams? Stubble Fish: I was supposed to be a concert pianist... until I realized I didn't have any fingers. Nat: We all had dreams. Nancy: What makes you so special? Mob: Let's get him!,Huh?
"Nat: Good riddance, dreamer!","Ooh!  Well, it can't get any worse. D'oh!  I guess I spoke too soon."
French narrator:   Will SpongeBob learn to fly? Stay tuned.,"There they go again, Gary.  I suppose I'll never join them in the sky. I'll be stuck on the ground, sentenced to a flightless life.  Oh well. I guess all dreams aren't meant to come true.  Back to reality."
Gary: Meow.,"No, Gary, my dreams are silly.  Hello? No, this isn't the Bird Man of Bikini Bottom. What?  No, I certainly do not live in a birdcage. Who is this? Joe Mama? Well, listen up, Joe.  I hate to break it to you, but flying is impossible.  I have to go now. My head just hit the ceiling. Huh? Hey! Look, Gary!  I... I think I'm flying! Jellyfish Fields, here I come!"
"Monroe:  Mom, look! It's the flying guy! Mable: Wow, I guess he wasn't a lunatic after all.",♪I'm flying. I'm flying!♪
"Citizens:  ♪He's flying!♪  ♪He's flying!♪  ♪He's really, really flying!♪","♪They laughed, they scoffed, before I had liftoff.♪"
Citizens:  ♪But now he's flying.♪  ♪He's flying high in the sky.♪,♪I'd love to hang around to say I told you so.♪  ♪But it's off to Jellyfish Fields I go!♪  ♪Roads and streets are not for me.♪
Mrs. Puff: ♪Help! Please help! My snail is up a tree. I've had her since I was a little girl.♪  ♪But now it looks like the end of her world.♪  No!,"Gotcha!  Next time, try the elevator."
"Mrs. Puff: Thank you, Bird Man!",♪I have never felt so free!♪  ♪High in the sky is the place for me.♪  ♪Helping friends from up above.♪  ♪These are the things that I love!♪  ♪I'll help Mr. Krabs reclaim his dime.♪
Mr. Krabs: I'm rich!,♪And I'll save Patrick from this mime!♪
"Patrick: Thanks, buddy!","♪Even Plankton needs some help, when he gets tangled in the ke-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-elllllllp!♪"
"Plankton: Please put me down! Johnny: All of Bikini Bottom is abuzz over the identity of a mysterious flying man who helps people. Tom: He found my hair piece! Tyler: He helps people... and he flies... and he helps people. Fish Head:  Who knows what superhero act of courage he'll astound us with next? Nat: Oh no! The light in the Goo Lagoon lighthouse went out, and Sailor Jenkins is headed for the coastline! Jenkins:  I'm glad I gave up farming!",I'm coming!
"Nat: Thanks, mysterious flying man! Jenkins:  I knew no good would come from city folk and their flying machines!",That's enough good deeds for one day. I've got a date with a flock of jellyfish.
Mr. Krabs:  SpongeBob! Son! I need you and your magical pants!,"But, Mr. Krabs, I invented these pants so I could fly with the jellyfish! If I keep doing favors for people I'll never make my dreams a reality."
"Mr. Krabs: But, SpongeBob, it's an emergency!","Let's roll!  Where to, Mr. K?"
Mr. Krabs: Uh... my garage.,"You've got it!  What's the emergency, Mr. Krabs?"
"Mr. Krabs: Are you sure you're up for it, boy?",I think my pants can handle it.
Mr. Krabs: I need you...,Yes?
Mr. Krabs: To clean...,Clean up crime?
Mr. Krabs: My garage.,That's your emergency?
"Mr. Krabs: But, SpongeBob, everyone knows it's easier to clean a garage when you can fly!","All right, Mr. Krabs. I'll clean your garage. But after this, no more favors!  All done, Mr. Krabs."
Mr. Krabs:  And the recyclables?,"Aw, shrimp.  Finally! Jellyfish Fields, here I come!"
Patrick:  SpongeBob!,Patrick's in trouble.
Patrick:  SpongeBob! SpongeBob!,"What is it, buddy?"
Patrick: Will you scratch my tummy?  Ah... Larry: Help me pick out a tie? Squidward: Clean my bathtub? Mrs. Puff: Balance my checkbook? Plankton: Help spread the word of evil? Hat Fish: Untangle my phone chords? Cap Fish: Do my geometry? Nancy: Talk to my plants. Gray Fish: Rub my scalp?  Mmm... oh yeah!,"Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Wait a minute! I'm supposed to be at Jellyfish Fields right now. But instead, I'm rubbing your scalp. And I don't even know who you are."
"Gray Fish: But, we went to elementary school together.",Dennis?
Dennis: Mmm... oh yeah! Cap Fish: SpongeBob! Monroe: Hey SpongeBob! Fred: SpongeBob!,"If I don't give these feverish favor-seekers the slip, I'll never get to fly with the jellyfish."
Monroe: He's getting away! Light Purple Fish: No! He owes us favors! Monroe: Get him!,I'm almost at Jellyfish Fields. I'm gonna make it!
"Nat: He's headed for Jellyfish Fields! We'll never catch him now! Jenkins:  I'll take care of this! Crowd: It's Cannonball Jenkins! Jenkins:  I told you nothing good would come from city folk and their flying machines! Fred: What have we done?  Come on, everybody! I think a proper burial is in order.  A pair of pants like these come around... once in a lifetime.","Well, it was fun while it lasted.  I guess I'm not meant to fly after all.  Huh? Hey! My jellyfish friends are helping me fly! Without pants! I guess it just goes to show...  ♪You don't need a plane to fly♪  ♪Plastic wings may make you cry♪  ♪Kites are made for windy days. Lawn chair with balloons... fly away♪  ♪Inflatable pants... you may as well skip!♪  ♪If you want to fly, all you need... is friendship. Yeah.♪  Goodbye, jellies! You taught me a valuable lesson. Although I'm not quite sure what it was."
Patrick:  Hey! Let's fly down to the pizza house for a slice.,"No more flying for me, Patrick. I'll leave that to the jellyfish."
Patrick: Suit yourself.,Did Patrick just...?  Nah!
"Patchy: Wow! Wasn't that great, kids? Potty: Let's watch it again. Patchy:  That's a great idea, Potty.  Where's the remote?  Where's the remote?  Oh, I lost the remote! They should make those things...  Eh... Potty: Brawk! Patchy:  My remote!  Thanks, stranger! Mrs. Johnson:  Don't mention it, Patchy! Patchy: Now, which one of these cockamamie buttons is rewind?  No, that's not it.  D'oh! Wrong again. Potty: Brawk! Let me do it! Patchy: No, get away!  That's the light switch! Give me that! Potty: Brawk! That's the mariachi band button. Patchy: Grrrrr... I hate technology!!  Rewind, darn you. Potty: Brawk. Failure ahoy. Patchy: No!  Stop! Stop! Go back, infernal machine!  Oh no! I've ruined the lost episode! Now it's lost forever! Potty: Brawk! Lost forever! French narrator: Oh boy, what a loser. Well, I guess the lost episode will remain lost. But, tape or no tape, as long as there are stars in the sky, SpongeBob will live on in our hearts and in our minds.  Now get lost. I mean, bye. No, really, get lost. Mr. Krabs: C'mon, Mr. Doodles,  we haven't got all day. We've got to get down to me favorite restaurant. Mine. Where we're shooting our first ever Krusty Krab commercial. After this commercial airs, we'll be swarming with customers. I can already feel myself sweatin' money. Mr. Krabs: No, I got Squidward organizing the whole thing. He's... ya know... artsy.  What the...? This looks expensive. Out of my way. Coming through. Move it or lose it. Squidward! Squidward:  What? Mr. Krabs: What in Neptune's name is going on? Squidward: We're making the commercial, Mr. Krabs. Mr. Krabs: What you're doing is throwing away me money! I told you to rent, only, what is absolutely necessary. Squidward: This is all necessary. Mr. Krabs: Well what's all this useless junk? Squidward: That's the useless junk for scene, uhh, 28! Mr. Krabs: Oh, well, then how do you explain that:  a second Krusty Krab?? Squidward: Mr. Krabs, everyone needs an understudy! Mr. Krabs: Well, ya got me there... but why do we need him? Squidward: This job gets very stressful, Mr. Krabs. Mr. Krabs: All right, get lost, all of ya.  You're fired. Go on. Scram. Get out of here, you moochers. That's right, keep moving.  Except you. You stay. Squidward: Well, this is just great. Now we've got no crew to make the commercial. Mr. Krabs: What are you talking about, Squidward? We got the cheapest crew in the world. You, me, and SpongeBob. Speaking of which, where is the little barnacle?","I'm down here, sir."
"Mr. Krabs: What are you doing, lad?",Squidward said I could help by burying myself.
Mr. Krabs: Quit fooling and come on out.  I need you to be in the commercial.,Me? In the Krusty Krab commercial? Me!
"Squidward: But, but, but, but, but, but, but... Mr. Krabs:  Don't throw your buts at me, Mr. Squidward. We got a timetable to keep. This thing airs tonight. SpongeBob & Squidward: Tonight?! Mr. Krabs: Yup, I got a sweet deal on the prime-time slot. Narrator: 3:28 am","It's almost on, Gary."
Gary:,"Yeah, I got butterflies, too. This is the most exciting thing to happen in the history of history. Look, Gary! It's on!"
"Pearl: Oh, Jen. I've got a real problem. Squidward:  What's your problem, Amy? Pearl:  I've got all this money and I don't know what to do with it and I'm hungry. Pearl:  Who's there? Squidward:  Where's that coming from? Amy and Jen: Yippee, it's Mr. Krabs! Mr. Krabs: That's right, Amy. I heard all about your little problem and I'm here to help. Follow... me! Amy and Jen: Where are we? Mr. Krabs: Why, we're at none other than the Krusty Krab. Amy: Did you say Krusty Krab? Mr. Krabs: That's right, Krusty Krab. Home of the world famous Krabby Patty! Jen: What's a Krabby Patty? Mr. Krabs: Why, it's only the most mouthwatering appetizing food in the seven seas.","THERE I AM, GARY, THERE I AM!"
"Mr. Krabs: We start with a fresh patty, grilled and juicy. Add some crisp undersea veggies and cheese. Topped off with secret sauce and some buns. Voila! A Krabby Patty. Amy: I want a Krabby Patty. Jen: Me, too. Mr. Krabs: How do you like them Krabby Patties, girls? Amy & Jen:","LOOK, GARY, THERE I AM AGAIN, LOOK!"
"Mr. Krabs: Two more satisfied customers. So why don't you come on in, and have yourself a Krabby Patty today. All: ♪The Krusty Krab: Come Spend Your Money Here!♪","That was the best 60 seconds of my life! Well, time for bed.  Time to go do my favorite thing at my favorite place."
"Old Man Jenkins: Hey, you!","Top of the morning, oldster."
"Old Man Jenkins: Hey! I saw you on TV last night. Announcer: New, Bran Flakes. Bold, new taste. Bran Flakes.",You did?
Old Man Jenkins: Yeah. You were on a commercial.,"You're right! Wow, he recognized me."
"Old Man Jenkins: Yup. See ya later, Bran Flakes. What a nice cereal box.","Weren't you that guy on TV? Yes! I am that guy.  How kind of you to notice. Weren't you that guy on the television last night? Yes, that was me. I... Oh, please excuse me, sir."
"Peterson: Oh, that's quite all right, uhh, SpongeBob.","Wow. I'm getting recognized all over. Why, next thing you'll know, people are going to start doing things like holding doors open for...  Why, sir, I'm flattered."
Peterson: Really? I don't smell anything.,You're on your way.
"Fred: Excuse me, sir, can I get a napkin?","Why, of course, good sir. And next time, feel free to approach me. It most be so degrading to ask across the room. And who am I making this bad boy out to?"
Fred: To my tail fin. I'll get it myself.,"F-I-N. There we are, darling. Hmph. Looks like shyness got the best of him."
"Squidward: There you are, SpongeBob. I need you to...","No problem, Squidward. I got one already made out. Enjoy."
Squidward:  To my tailfin?,"Yes, I am that guy on TV."
"Tyler: Hey, look!","Please, good people, no photos at work."
Tyler: Here's the ketchup.,"Well, maybe just one.  Another one? Okay. Limbo. And now, the, uh, oh, I got it."
"Mr. Krabs: There you are, SpongeBob.","Yes, pilot."
"Mr. Krabs: I need you to...  ...Ow!  Alright, boy. Get in there and scrub the head and stop acting so predictable.","I'm so misunderstood. Alas, good people, even the brightest of stars grow weary, and I am no exception. But I will shine again after a quick break in my quarters. Stay beautiful."
"Dale: Hey, were you able to catch Glenn the Pinkfish on Flounderman last night? Lou: No. How was he? Dale: Well, I knew that this guy's acting was good, but his singing was phenomenal. I'm telling you, Vendor, if that guy was to cut a solo record, he'd be a hit.",Solo record!
"Mr. Krabs: So, if I fire him and make his successor do twice the work, and...  ...eh, come in.  Oh, it's just you, SpongeBob. Those heads better be beautiful.","They are, Mr. Krabs, and so is mine. And now I gotta lay something on ya, Krabs Baby."
"Mr. Krabs: The only thing you better lay is some patties on the grill, Fry Boy.","Nah, I can't take that gig, Krabber. That phase in my career is over. I'm an entertainer now."
Mr. Krabs: What in blazes are you talking about?,"Come on, Krabs. Let's think outside the box for a second. Commercials are old-hat. The people want music. If I could change fate I would, Krabsy. And I'm an entertainer deep down. A people's person! We're on the same page here, aren't we?"
"Mr. Krabs: Boy, those Krabby fumes must've gotten to your head. Borrow Squidward's gas mask and get right back to work.","I knew you'd understand. Well, thanks for the start. I'm outta here."
"Mr. Krabs: Oooooh, I've never felt such a strange combination of pity and indigestion. Bill: There he is! Hey! We've been waiting for you. Nazz: Where have you been? Bill: How long are you going to keep us standing here? Squidward: Well, SpongeBob? Are you just going to stand there like a half-wit, mouth agape? Or are you going to fill these peoples' orders?","Pipe down, Squidward. This crowd looks angry. They're not going to wait any longer. I think I better give them what they need, and fast."
"Squidward: I think so, too, or Krabs will fire both of us.  On second thought, keep 'em waiting.","No can do, Squidward. These people demand entertainment."
Squidward: Enter-what?,"How you doing, folks?"
All: HUNGRY!,"That's no problem, ladies and germs. 'Cause SpongeBob is here to satisfy!"
Squidward: Hey! Bill:  Eating here was your idea!,"I'd like to call this little number Striped Sweater. ♪The best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time. One with a collar, turtleneck, that's the kind  'Cause when you're wearing...♪"
Bill: WE'RE STARVING!,"♪That one... special... sweater...♪  Squidward, this crowd is insatiable."
"Squidward: Then why don't you back in the kitchen, and grab some patties, and give them what they  CAME HERE FOR?!?!?!","Juggling! Thanks, Squiddy."
Nancy: Is this some kind of joke?,They want juggling and jokes at the same time? Tough crowd.
"Bill: Oh, now what's he doing?","Uhh, what do you call a vampire whose car breaks down three miles from a blood bank? A cab!"
Bill: We're losing our appetites!,"Uh, okay. There's a nun, an astronaut, and a hairdryer."
All: WE WANT PATTIES!,"Well, the most I can juggle is three, but the show must go on. Whoa!"
All: BOO!,"Noooooooooo!  My career is over. All those years clawing my way up. All the people I've stepped on, wasted."
Bill: Hey! Finally! Nancy: That's what we've been waiting for.,"They seem to like it when I put this patty on the grill. I may be able to save this act, yet. Roll with it, SpongeBob. Roll with it. There's more where that came from, folks."
All: Yay!,You like that?
Bill: It's what we wanted all along.,"It seems to be working. But how do I follow it up? Buns!  It's a stretch, but we've all got to push the envelope, sometime. Okay, folks. How do you like this?"
All: Yeah!,I'm breaking new ground. Time to get edgy.
Customers: We want onions! Cheese! Yeah!,Ready for the grand finale?
"All: Whoopee! Krabby Patties! Mr. Krabs: Well, SpongeBob, looks like you've finally found your calling.",I'll say. I'm so glad I gave up fry cooking for this.
Sandy: Laser wrench.,Mm-hmm.
Sandy: Nope.,Ah.
Sandy: Uh-uh.,Mm?
Sandy: No. No. No.,Oh!
"Sandy:  Ugh, fine! It'll do. Sandy: Hm?",I'll get it!
"Rosy Cheeks: Surprise!  Hi-ya, sis! Macadamia:  Howdy! Hazelnut:  Auntie! Pistachio:  Sandy! Sandy: Oh! I didn't expect y'all till tomorrow. Rosy Cheeks: I know how much you love your nieces y'know, so I brought 'em a day early. Sandy: SpongeBob, this here's my sister, Rosy and my three nieces.  This'n here's Macadamia. Macadamia:  How do? Sandy:  Hazelnut. Hazelnut:  How do? Sandy:  And little Pistachio. Pistachio: How d— Sandy: Girls, this is my friend, SpongeBob!","Aww, what sweet little angels!"
"Rosy Cheeks:  Yeah, angels. Okay, well I gotta skedaddle.  Freedom! Sandy:  Doggone it. They're too early! I'm not finished with their present!","Don't worry your pretty little head, little lady. I'll watch the gals until you're done!"
"Sandy:  Thanks, SpongeBob, but there's something I gotta tell you about babysitting my—","Yeah, I think I know a little something about babysitting, Sandy. Excuse me."
Sandy: Y'all mind your Uncle SpongeBob now.,"Story time!  Goldyfish and the Three Sea Bears. Chapter one, breaking and entering."
"Macadamia:  Don't waste your breath... Hazelnut:  And don't make a hassle... Pistachio:  Some kids like to read... Macadamia, Hazelnut and Pistachio: But we'd rather wrassle! TV Announcer: Wrassle match!","Now you girls go easy on me, okay?"
Macadamia:  One! Hazelnut:  Two!,Ow!
Sandy:  Ugh.  Why don't ya show the girls around town?,"Great idea!  I'll take them to the funnest place in all of Bikini Bottom! The Krusty Krab!  Mr. Krabs, these are Sandy's little nieces."
"Mr. Krabs: Oh, nieces, eh? And what brings such cute little customers to Bikini Bottom? Macadamia: We're visiting Auntie Sandy… Hazelnut: And we want to sling hash... Pistachio: A chophouse like this must be... Macadamia, Hazelnut and Pistachio:  Loaded with cash! Mr. Krabs: Aww! Go on! No, really. Go on.","This is my coworker-slash-best buddy, Squidward."
"Squidward: Ugh! Children. Macadamia: Ugh! Grown-ups. Hazelnut: This feller ain't happy. Pistachio: Just look at his face. Macadamia, Hazelnut and Pistachio: We're gonna be sick all over the place!",Here you go! Three Dolly Patties. 
Squidward: Can you stop playing dress-up long enough to make some Krabby Patties?,Huh! Guess that's me all over.
"Mr. Krabs:  You two look ridiculerous! Squidward: Ha! You're your own worst enemy. Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, from now on, babysit off Krusty Krab Property!  And Mr. Squidward, dress like SpongeBob on your own time. Macadamia: That place really stunk. Hazelnut: It was lamer than lame. Pistachio: Take us somewhere fun. Macadamia, Hazelnut and Pistachio:  Or taste Texas pain!","Aww, what cute little knuckles you have. Hmm, hmm... ooh, I've got just the spot. Ahh, smell that fresh seawater. Oh, heh-hey, right. Sorry. See, Sandy, nothing to worry about. Baby-sitting is eaaaaasy."
"Macadamia: Hey, Uncle SpongeBob!",Huh?
Hazelnut: Open your eyes! Pistachio: You're just gonna love...,Hm?
"Macadamia, Hazelnut and Pistachio: Our sandy surprise! Macadamia: It's our gift to you!","Well, isn't that sweet!"
Hazelnut: And it won't wash away...! Pistachio:  'Cause it's made of concrete!,"Concrete, what?!  Good structural integrity girls, but a little tight!"
"Macadamia: So, sorry, Uncle. Hazelnut: We made it too small... Pistachio: But we'll get you out... Macadamia, Hazelnut and Pistachio: With this wrecking ball!","Wrecking what?! Let's all go to my house and take a little break. Here we are, girls. Pineapple, sweet pine—  Whoa!"
Patrick: I've been waiting all day to watch your TV!,"Patrick, you could have watched it while I was out."
"Patrick: I forgot how to make it work!  Show me! Show me funny! I wanna see stories! Go, go!  Please!",Boop. There you go.
Patrick:  I don't know how you remember all this technical stuff.,"Yeah. Patrick, meet Sandy's nieces."
"Patrick:  Good to meet ya! Squirrel hand puppet:  Hey, kids, know what time it is?  It's nutcrackin' time! Patrick:  I love this episode! Macadamia: Well, well, what do you know? Macadamia, Hazelnut and Pistachio: Patrick is watching our favorite show!","Ah, finally, I can relax.  With work!"
"Patrick: Ah, that's better. Patrick:  Aww! Macadamia: Let's launch this goof... Macadamia, Hazelnut and Pistachio: Right to the roof! Macadamia:  Lift-off! Patrick:  Whoo!  Whoo-hoo!",Who wants brownies?  Heh. I'll go make another batch.
"Macadamia: Let's send this nitwit... Hazelnut: On his way! Pistachio: Before he ruins our whole dern day! Macadamia:  Yeah! Bus driver: All aboard for Glove World! Patrick: Save me a brownie! Macadamia: He'll be away... Macadamia, Hazelnut and Pistachio: The whole dern day! Patrick: Hi! I brought some friends.",Ooh! I'll have to make more brownies!
"Macadamia:  All y'all shoo! You're blocking our view! Bikini Bottomites:  Excuse us. Sorry. Sorry, ma'am. Hazelnut: We're taking that seat... Pistachio: Right where you sit! Patrick: What you gonna do? Macadamia, Hazelnut and Pistachio: Let's wrassle for it! TV Announcer: Wrassle match!","Ready, set...wrassle!"
"Patrick: Ooh, brownie! Macadamia, Hazelnut and Pistachio: Huh? Patrick: You saved me one! Thanks!  Guess I get the TV. Macadamia: That guy's mean! Hazelnut: Where's our auntie?! Pistachio: We gon' leave! Macadamia, Hazelnut and Pistachio:  We want Sandy! Macadamia: Oh, Auntie Sandy, what a terrible place! Hazelnut: Everyone was so mean! Pistachio: Right to our face! Sandy:  Aw, don't fret, little ladies. I made a present just for you,  you,  and you. Macadamia: From a rattlesnake's tail... Hazelnut: To an armadillo's chest... Pistachio: Our Auntie Sandy... Macadamia, Hazelnut and Pistachio: Is the gol'durn best!","Oh, sorry, Sandy.  I guess I'm just not a very good babysitter."
Sandy:  I tried to tell ya the first rule of babysitting my nieces.,What's that?
"Sandy: Don't babysit my nieces! Macadamia, Hazelnut and Pistachio: Bye, Auntie Sandy! Bye, Uncle SpongeBob! Sandy: Bye-bye! Have a nice trip back to Texas!  Bless their evil little hearts. Rosy Cheeks: Ahhh...  Oh, no. Macadamia, Hazelnut and Pistachio: Hiya, Ma! Did ya miss us? Herb (SpongeBob): Sure is a nice day for a picnic. Loretta (SpongeBob): Oh Herb! It's like a second honeymoon! Herb (SpongeBob): Just look at Timmy and Sally throwing the old disc around! Timmy (SpongeBob): C'mon and throw it, sis! Sally (SpongeBob): I just wanna say I'm gonna be real sad when you go off to college. Timmy (SpongeBob): Oh Sally, don't be such a goop! (SpongeBob appears, tears in his eyes) You know... I'll always be your big brother! Loretta (SpongeBob): Is it starting to rain? Herb (SpongeBob): Nothing can spoil this perfect day! Sally (SpongeBob): What's the matter big brother got something in your eye? Timmy (SpongeBob): Yeah... that's it... that must be it... Sally (SpongeBob): Ha haw, now who's the goof? Just watch out because here it comes! Squidward: Oh, what now? Too much weeing. What is... Squidward:  PICKLE JUICE! Oh, my eye! Squidward: Mr. Krabs: I smell something burning. Squidward: Yeah. Probably my eye. Mr. Krabs: Oh, stop your drama, Squidward. Squidward: You missed a spot. Mr. Krabs: What in the name of Neptune's tail fin is going on in here, boy?","Oh, I'm playing picnic with my wonderful little food friends Herb and Loretta! These are their kids Timmy and Sally."
"Mr. Krabs: Mmm-hmm. Sounds to me like you're wasting me precious ingredients! Listen SpongeBob, just because there's no customers doesn't mean you can't do something productive.","Like what, Mr. Krabs?"
"Mr. Krabs: Well, I mean you could, OH! You can dust the pickles! Or uh, alphabetize the buns! Ehhh, you could, uh... water down the ketchup!",At this point it would be ketchuping up the water.
"Mr. Krabs: Whatever. Now if these little fellers could work... maybe you'll be on to something... hey, you couldn't make me a little tiny army of unpaid workers, could ya?","Well, I could try.  Here's a little worker. We'll call him Pete."
"Mr. Krabs: Ohhohohohoo! Hi Pete! Mr. Krabs: Hey, what's wrong with Pete? He's not working!",Maybe Pete is just tired.
"Mr. Krabs: Well now, that shouldn't interfere with Pete's work.","Well, I don't know Mr. Krabs.  I guess it might affect his productivity-"
Mr. Krabs:  No! Not his productivity!,"Hey, maybe if Pete can go on a picnic like the Patty family, he might be rested and happy and more productive than ever!"
Mr. Krabs:  No! Not leaving the workplace for pleasure!,Hey! Maybe Pete's boss could have a company picnic and Pete could have a great time and relax and come back and work twice as hard!
Mr. Krabs: Company picnic?,"See, look! He's already perking up!"
"Mr. Krabs: Gee, SpongeBob. Do you think if I threw a picnic your productivity would increase?",Definitely!
"Squidward:  What's going on in here? Mr. Krabs:  Just in time, Mr. Squidward! You're about to go on the greatest company picnic ever! Plankton: A company picnic, eh? That gives me an idea. Squidward: This is the greatest company picnic ever? Mr. Krabs: Yes, yes it is.","Pace yourself Squidward, the fun is just getting started."
"Squidward: Is this toilet paper we're sitting on? Mr. Krabs: Oh, don't think of it as just toilet paper, it has thousands of uses.",Here's one!
"Squidward: Well, I guess things will pick up once the food gets here. Mr. Krabs: Right you are! Here's the food! Squidward:  What? Mr. Krabs: Oh, you're confused? Let me show you a little hack.  See? You open it with your teeth.  There, isn't that fun? And afterwards, you can toss it around like a, you know, one of those things you toss around. Mr. Krabs: Here let me show ya. Go out for a long one, SpongeBob!",Going long!
"Mr. Krabs: Ho, ho. This is so much fun.",Is this far enough?
"Mr. Krabs: I can't hear what you're sayin'! So... here it comes! Mr. Krabs:  Hmm. Heh, I don't see it anywhere. Squidward: I'm going home. Mr. Krabs:  Oh no you're not.  You're going to sit right there and enjoy yourself until your productivity increases! Squidward:","Oh boy! Facing painting! Great idea, Mr. Krabs.  Ahh. Here, let me try! Hi, I'm Barnacle Boy."
"Mr. Krabs: Well, we sure had our fun and games today. But just maybe we've learned a little something too. About each other and ourselves. I guess you'd have to say, This was the greatest... Squidward: Do not say it! Mr. Krabs: The greatest comp... Squidward: Don't! Mr. Krabs:  The greatest company picnic ever! Mr. Krabs: Well, looks like we've got company.","Well, Mr. Krabs, it is a company picnic."
"Squidward: Well, this is more like it. You've been holding out on us, Mr. Krabs. You old devil. Mr. Krabs:  I have? Wait. Oh yeah. Mr. Krabs:  Chumpany Picnic? That's not how you spell Company Picnic! Plankton:  Guess who? Mr. Krabs: Plankton! Mr. Krabs: Just what do ya think you're doin', Plankton? Plankton: Uh, what do you mean? I'm having my company picnic. This is our spot. Mr. Krabs: Oh yeah! Well, it's my spot now! Plankton: Come now. Can't we all just share? Nothing should spoil this perfect day.",Aww!
Mr. Krabs: You don't even have any employees!,Aww!
"Plankton: Sure I do. Plankton: Those are my new hired, Simmy and Tally. Just look at them tossing the disk around.",A real disk?
"Mr. Krabs: Ha! Go on, SpongeBob! Show this upstart how we chuck the old mustard plate around!",Well. Eh.
Plankton: You're all welcome to join us of course. There's plenty of fun for all.,"Aw, no thanks, Plankton. We're having a great time at our own company picnic. Hey, Plankton. What are Simmy and Tally up too?"
"Plankton: Oh, just setting up the rest of the activities. Plankton: The cotton candy machine, hot roasted peanuts, games of chance, bottles you can knock over to win a prize, the world's most exciting roller coaster, a deep fryer for delicacies... Squidward: Delicacies? Plankton: And of course, the dunking booth! Plankton:  Have you seen the calliope?",Aww!
"Mr. Krabs: Now, look here, Plankton! Me loyal employees would never be takin' in by such a shallow display... Squidward: One side, Goopy!",Yum.
"Mr. Krabs: Is this backwards?  Oh, that's not it either. Plankton: You were saying, Krabs?","Mr. Krabs is right, Plankton. We're having lots of fun. Come on, Mr. Krabs."
"Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, would you mind helpin' me with my zipper?","Who needs them? Right, Mr. Krabs?"
"Mr. Krabs: Huh? Yeah, yeah. Sure. Squidward:  Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!",You want me to paint your face?
"Mr. Krabs: Well, I don't know.","Alright. I'm making you into, um, a ghost."
Mr. Krabs:  Ooh. I think this mayo has gone bad.,Ooh. The ghost of mayonnaise bad! That really scares people.
"Mr. Krabs: Yeah. Simmy: Whoa! Stop! That is almost too much cotton candy! Mr. Krabs: You wanna join in all that fun over there with Mr. Squidward, don't ya?",No. Course not.
Mr. Krabs: Are you sure you don't want to?,"Mr. Krabs, I am staying right here at the Krusty Krab picnic!"
Mr. Krabs: You sure?,"100% sure, Mr. Krabs!"
"Mr. Krabs: Ok, then. I'm outta here! See ya! Yahoo! Mr. Krabs:  You can never have too many! Squidward: Whoo! Mr. Krabs: Hey, Squiddie-bird!","Whoo!  Having lots of fun over here. I've got a plate! It's made of paper! It's a paper plate. Whoo! Well, if it's good enough for Mr. Krabs, it's good enough for me."
"Squidward: I have to say, Mr. Plankton. If this is how you treat your employees... Plankton: Say no more, my friend.  If you'd care to work for me, just sign this contract with this delicious candied pen. Mr. Krabs: Ooh!  Me first! Me first! Plankton: Oh, don't bother to read it. Not on such a fun day. Mr. Krabs: That's such great advice! Plankton: This is working far better than I planned! With Krabs as my employee, I can order him to give me the Krabby Patty formula and the Krusty Krab will be no more!","Ahem! Hello, Plankton!"
Plankton: Uh oh.,"Mr. Krabs, don't sign it!"
Mr. Krabs: My candied pen!,"Simmy, look out! There's a candied pen heading straight for your eye due to my act of swatting it away without first considering the trajectory! Oh, I wish I could give my words out faster, but everything's in slow motion! No! Simmy and Tally are holograms? Then that means..."
"Squidward: I was riding that? What about those delicacies I was eating? Mr. Krabs: Whew! That was a cl... Mr. Krabs: You saved me, boy. How did you do it?","I guess my mind was all sharp from the relaxing fun I had at your company picnic, Mr. Krabs."
Plankton: Unbelievable! Plankton: Uh oh.,The greatest company picnic ever!
"Mr. Krabs: Alright, enough relaxin'. Back to work!","Behold the ultimate cooking utensil, the golden spatula!"
"Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob, look what it says here.  Many have tried to pull the spatula from this ancient grease, but all have failed. Larry:",Only a fry cook worthy of King Neptune himself can wield...
SpongeBob and Patrick: ...the golden spatula. Wow!,"Oh, oh, oh, oh! Take a picture of me and the spatula!  Okay, I'm ready!"
"Miss Shell: Excuse me, do you know where the menu section is? Patrick: Uh!","Menu section? That's easy, it's over that way.  Uh-oh."
"Miss Shell:  Holy smokes! Patrick: Rude. Hey, the light changed.","Uhh, Patrick..."
"Patrick:  Hold on, almost there. King Neptune: Yes, yes, at last! Someone worthy of being the royal fry cook. Who has freed the spatula from the grease?","Uhh, I did, Mr. Neptune, sir. SpongeBob SquarePants."
"King Neptune: A fine jest, boy. You are but a lowly yellow sponge.  Puny, insignificant, a commoner. Therefore, you could never be fry cook to a god and this is why it is funny!  Now step aside as I seek out the true fry cook.  No, no. Mmm-hmm, you're too short, no...  Ah!","But, but..."
"King Neptune: A purveyor of foods.  Yes, you must be my new fry cook. Hot Dog Vendor: Uhh, sorry, King Neptune. I don't make them. I just sell them. King Neptune: Then who pulled out the spatula? Hot Dog Vendor:  Uh, he did. King Neptune:  It is even funnier a second time!  You there, crustacean! Larry: Who, me? King Neptune: You have the physique of Atlas! Larry:  Thanks, I work out. King Neptune:  Make poses with me! Larry: Okay! Larry and King Neptune:  Body slam! King Neptune: You pulled the spatula from the grease! Larry: Nope, that was SpongeBob. King Neptune: This joke has gone far enough! Where's my fry cook?  Certainly you with your prodigious girth would know who can flip a burger to suit a royal palate!  What? Am I expected to believe this creature is royal fry cook material? I don't suppose you have any proof?  Ha! This thing is unfit to even scrub the royal tail fin! And besides, it's not just enough to pull a spatula from a greasy griddle. There are certain qualities that a royal fry cook must have.",Like?
"King Neptune: The royal fry cook must be, you know, left-handed.","Actually, I've got two."
"King Neptune:  Also, the royal fry cook wears red underwear.  No, blue.  Uh, the royal fry cook's wallet contains...  His big toes are...  Uhh, he has six... Patrick:  He is the new royal fry cook and you... King Neptune:  Silence! Patrick: Is it hot in here or what?","Patrick! You hurt my friend! You're not a king, you're a bully and a liar!"
"King Neptune:  So, little one, you think you have what it takes to be my fry cook? I will prove your worthlessness. You shall be tested with a challenge! Patrick:   Bring it on! SpongeBob can handle any...  Ouch. King Neptune: Your friend's arrogance will cost you dearly. There will be two challenges. Patrick:   Only two? What are two challenges to someone like Sponge- King Neptune: Three challenges! Patrick: Three?   Three challenges is nothing. It might as well be 500 challenges! King Neptune: Enough! Patrick: He'll settle for one. King Neptune: There will be but one challenge. You will face me in: The Ultimate Cook-Off!",I will accept your challenge if you fix my friend.
"King Neptune: Ah, yes, the round one. I shall restore him. Patrick: SpongeBob? SpongeBob?!  SpongeBob? Oh, there you are!",How you feeling?
"Patrick: Pretty good. Say, have you gotten taller? King Neptune: And now, see the fate that may lie ahead.  For if some minute chance you meet the challenge, your reward will be great.  Behold!  Hehe. Whoopsie! Now, behold!  My beloved home of Atlantis. A prize worthy of Apollo. You will reside here in this glorious palace, cook only for me, and be a god! Patrick: Hey, that sounds pretty good. King Neptune: But if you should not succeed, you must give up fry cooking forever! What do you say?",I'm ready.
"King Neptune: Very well then. To the Poseidome! Mr. Krabs: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Ultimate Cook-Off!  All right, mates. First to a thousand patties wins. Shake hands.",May the best man win.
"Mr. Krabs: Go back to your corners and when the bell sounds, come out cooking!  Don't worry, lad, I have total confidence in you.  Put it all on Neptune!","I'm not good enough to cook in Atlantis, Patrick. I should have never taken the challenge."
"Patrick: Don't give up on your dream, SpongeBob! People used to tell me: Patrick, you'll never amount to anything. You'll always have your head in the clouds. Well, just look at me now.  Go get 'em, tiger!",Once upon a time... Perfect!
"King Neptune: I win!  Loser!  Free patties for everyone!  Fools! Have you no taste buds? There's nothing wrong with these, they're delicious!  Ooh. Audience:  You can eat it all, come one! Chew it! Why don't you eat it? Try it! Eat it! Eat it! King Neptune:  Okay, mine's no good. But what makes you think his will be any better?  Give me that!  Mmmm. Why it tastes so good, I think I'd like to try it a second time!","So, uhh, what do you think?"
"King Neptune: Yours is superior. Therefore, I concede to you, SpongeBob SquarePants, you win. SpongeBob & Patrick: Yeah!  We're going to Atlantis! We're going to Atlantis!",What's so funny?
"King Neptune: You, SpongeBob. That repulsive thing in my palace?","You mean, Patrick can't come?"
"King Neptune:  No, of course not.",And my friends?
"King Neptune: Ah, the only friend you need, dear boy, is the royal grill. Patrick:  It was nice knowing you, buddy!","I know, Mr. Krabs, I'll miss you, too."
"Mr. Krabs: I lost me bet! King Neptune: Come, SpongeBob, grab your things! It's time to depart...  to Atlantis!",I... I...  I don't wanna go!
King Neptune: It's too late now. I can't live without your burgers. You're going to be a god and like it!  Maybe we do have a problem.,"Wait, Neptune! I have another idea!"
"Patrick: Good morning, Krusty Krew.","Hi, Patrick. What'll you have?  Can you excuse me?"
"King Neptune: The accursed stove has burnt my finger. Feel thine own wrath, stove!  Haha!","What did I tell you about using your powers, trainee?"
"King Neptune:  Uh... Perfect patties are made with love, not magic.",Gary! What are you doing!?
Gary: Meow.,"Oh my gosh! Your bowl is empty! Not to worry, Gare-gare! Food is on the way, faster than you can say  organic!"
Gary: Meow?,"There you go, Gary!  Gary! Shame on you! I realize you're a bottom feeder, but have some manners! You know you're not supposed to eat goop off the ground! Now go on and enjoy your health food!"
"Gary:  Meow, meow, meow...","What is this stuff, anyway? It doesn't seem to be coming off!  Ooh! Company!"
"Patrick: Hi, SpongeBob! Eww!","Is something wrong, Patrick?"
Patrick: SpongeBob! What is that?,What's what?
Patrick: This!,"P-P-P-Patrick, what should I do?"
Patrick: Scratch it like there's no tomorrow!,Good idea!
"Patrick: Uhh, SpongeBob?",Yeah?
Patrick: I don't know about this!,What makes you say that?
Patrick: This.,"Ay-yi-yi! It's getting bigger!  Nothing a little pimple cream can't cure!  Aah. That's more like it! All better. See, Patrick?"
"Patrick: Sure do! Well, Probably gonna go sit in my hole. Catch ya later, pal.","Bye, Patrick!  Ahh… This feels better!  Let's see. A four-letter word, ooh. Meaning of uncomfortable sensation on the dermis… Hmm…  Itch!  Don't worry, SpongeBob. Everyone gets itchy, swelling skin rash now and then. Just don't scratch it and it'll go away… Eventually.  There! Outta sight, outta mind!  I won't let this minor setback hinder my fry cooking!  Now nothing can distract me from frying up those patties… Except maybe this unbearable itchiness! Must… Stop… Scratching!"
Squidward: SpongeBob!  SpongeBob!,"Huh? Oh, hi, Squidward!"
Squidward: SpongeBob? Why are you all puffy?,All what-y?
"Squidward: Your skin, SpongeBob! What's wrong with your skin?","Oh, that! It's nothing really, Squidward… Just a little blemish, that's all!"
Squidward: That's no blemish!,Help… Me!
"Squidward: Oh, I'll help you, alright! S.W.A.T. fish #1: S.W.A.T. Team.  We'll be right over! S.W.A.T. fish #2: Hold it right there! Neptune's trident! This is the most severe case of Ick yet. S.W.A.T. fish #3: Stop, you fool!  Do you wanna get infected? This is a job for the hazmat physician. Hazmat physician: Get back! I said, get back! Back I say!","What's going on, Squidward? Help!"
"Squidward:  Here's your change, sir. Old Man Jenkins: Oh, why thank you very much, young man. Squidward: What was that? No, no, Mr. Squidward! That can't be the Ick.",Where am I? Whoa!  Who are you people? I wanna go home!
"Scientist: You are home, SpongeBob. You just have to stay in this bubble until the Ick clears up.","Where's my snail, Gary?"
Scientist: We've taken care of your pet. Gary: Meow.,Gary? Whoa!
"Hazmat Physician: He appears stable, sir. Scientist: Alright, boys, let's pack it up. Patrick: Wow!  Huh? What is this?",Patrick! Stop! Stop! You're gonna pop it!
Patrick: Really? How about if I squeeze it like this?  Or this?  Or this?,"Oh, Patrick! How many times do I have to tell you?! Be careful!"
"Patrick: Sorry. Hey, wanna play a game of pirate wrestling?",Sure! Let's begin!  Um... Patrick?
Patrick: I win! I win! I win!,Patrick?
"Patrick:  Go, Patrick! Go, Patrick! Go, Patrick!",Patrick! What am I gonna do? My bubble is destroyed.
Patrick: I've got an idea!,"There is no time for games, Pat! Now think, SpongeBob! The fate of Bikini Bottom rests in your hands! Huh? Patrick, you're a genius! And this one's mobile!  Now I can go back to work!"
"Mr. Krabs: Squidward! Help!  Help me flip these patties! We've got growling stomachs out there! Squidward:  No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Mr. Krabs: Then would it be too much trouble to ask his high and mightiness to take these patties out to the customers? Oh… If only SpongeBob were here… Squidward: If SpongeBob were here, we'd be covered in Ick!  Lunch is served!  Eat up, kids. Nathiel Waters:  Ahh. Squidward:  Oh, why am I so itchy?  Oh no.  SpongeBob gave me the Ick! And I gave it to all you people!  Stay back, you diseased freaks! Mr. Krabs:  What's all the commotion about? Unknown Fish:  The commotion, my dear Krabs, is regarding the hygiene standards of your eating establishment, which would appear to be inadequate. Mr. Krabs: Inadequate!? I'll have you know, the staff of the Krusty Krab take a solemn pledge, to show up every day in a week clean and disease-free.","Sorry I'm late, Mr. Krabs. SpongeBob SquarePants, returning for duty, sir."
"Unknown Fish: Is that what you consider clean and disease-free, Krabby? I say we ramshack this greasy disease shack! Who's with me? All: We are! Mr. Krabs: It wasn't me! It was Squidward! He gave you all the Ick! Squidward: No! No I didn't! It was SpongeBob! He's infected the entire Krusty Krab! Unknown Fish: Let us apprehend that careless contaminator! Gary: Meow.",Stop! You're pushing out more of the Ick!  NOOOOO!
"Mr. Krabs: Oh, stop it! You're tickling me, Squidward! Squidward: It's not me, Mr. Krabs!",Gary the Snail! Don't you know it's impolite to feed off of other people without permission?
"Mr. Krabs: He's just doing his job, SpongeBob! He's a bottomfeeder, remember? See? The little feller licked me clean! I'm cured! And he'll clean the Ick off any surface! Even Squid! Nat Peterson:  Oh! Oh! Me next! Martha Smith: Where are your manners? It's ladies first! Patrick: I believe the expression is starfish first. Unknown Fish: I supersede all of you! For I have an exotic accent. Mr. Krabs: Hey, hey, hey! There's no need to fight! Cause I have a solution I'll be happy with.  Step up to be de-Icked! Only 5 dollars! Mr. Krabs: Now can I get you a Krabby Patty? Unknown Fish: In the light of today's events, that notion is crass and offensive.  I'll take two, please. Mr. Krabs: Alright!","Here you go, Mr. Krabs!"
Mr. Krabs: Another 5 dollars for another de-Ickin'.,"Look, Gary! You made me all sparkly! You're the best bottom feeder a sponge could ever have!"
"Mr. Krabs: Aye, and a great money maker ya are, too. Now, back to work! Johnny:  Salutations, heroic devotees! I hope you're securely seated and sufficiently hydrated, because coming up next, it's the Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy marathon!",We got to make sure we have the necessary supplies for this marathon.
Patrick: Let's do this!,"Okay, how are we on snacks?"
"Patrick: Oh, hmm... I don't know. We might be able to pull through...  the first hour.",Check. Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy action figures?  Check. Drapes?
Patrick: Check.,Lampshade?
Patrick: Check.,"Thermometer?  Check. Ukulele, throw pillow, screensaver, incense, snail cozy, headgear?"
Patrick:  Check.,And...
Computerized Watch: It's time. It's time. It's time to fight...  evil!,"It's time, Patrick! I hope we can make do with the few provisions we have..."
"Johnny: For sixty-some-odd years, Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy have quadruple-handedly kept the sea crime-free.  And in celebration of such longevity, we're kicking off this weekend-long hero fest with the never-before-aired Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy Origin Special!  And now, without further fanfare,  the Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy Origin Spe-",No...  NO!  No! This is terrible! How will we see the Origin Special now? Squidward! Squidward! Let us in! We're missing the Mermaid Man marathon!
Squidward: Go away! I've got better things to do than watch grown men prance around in ridiculous outfits.  ...what? Circuit must've blown again.,"Hey, thanks for letting us in, Squidward."
"Patrick: Yeah, we owe you one!  What now, SpongeBob?","I don't know, Patrick. All the TVs in Bikini Bottom are knocked out! We have to find a secure place, some place that can survive this whirlwind.  Hey, that's it. If we want to see Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy's origin, we'll just go to the source. Follow me, Patrick."
"Patrick: Thanks for nothing, Squidward. Squidward: So sorry to have put such a wrinkle in your plans!","We made it!  Patrick, get up! We have found the Mermalair!"
"SpongeBob and Patrick:  Again! Barnacle Boy:  Oh, boy. SpongeBob and Patrick:  Again! Barnacle Boy: Do you mind telling us what you're doing here? Patrick: We wanna watch your TV! Barnacle Boy: I hate to break it to you kids, but you'll have to go somewhere else. Our power got knocked out in the storm. Patrick: But, but... now how will we ever learn about their secret gorinin?","Hang on a minute, Patrick, we've got Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy standing right over here!"
"Patrick: ...Yeah, so?","So, if we want to hear their origin, why don't we just ask them?"
Patrick: Whoa! You're like a brain professor!,"Mermaid Man, Barnacle Boy, we wanna know how this all started."
"Mermaid Man: You wanna go back to the start of it all, eh? Well, you see, in the beginning, it was all dark. And then all of a sudden, an event called The Big Splash formed the seas, and- Barnacle Boy: Not the beginning of time, Mermaid-Brain. They want to know how we became a crime-fighting duo. Mermaid Man: Oh... right.  Well, it all started when I was just a young, handsome muscular lad,  when suddenly, I noticed that my washing machine had stopped. Barnacle Boy: What are you talking about? Mermaid Man: Huh? Barnacle Boy: You're supposed to be telling the story of how we became superheroes! Mermaid Man:  ...The story. Yes. I was a young, handsome muscular lad, soaking up the sun's rays on the beach,  when suddenly, I became drowsy.  A wave came ashore, and drew me back into the ocean!  Suddenly, I realized I was being sucked under by a violent whirlpool! I was running out of oxygen fast.  But before I drowned, I was rescued by mermaids.  They took me to the ocean floor, where they gave me a magic sea star that allowed me to breathe underwater. Barnacle Boy: Wake up, you old coot. Finish the story. Mermaid Man:  Huh?","Yeah, Mermaid Man, what about Barnacle Boy?"
"Patrick: Yeah, how'd you two meet? Mermaid Man:  Oh, sorry, boys... There I was in the ocean, the only human who could breathe underwater.  Alas, such a life got lonely real fast; I had no other humans to talk to. What was a man to do? Then my question was answered. Captain: Hey, barnacle boy, make sure you scrape the barnacles underneath, too. Young Barnacle Boy: Aye, aye. Flashback Mermaid Man: A boy in trouble! I've got to act fast or he'll drown.  Fear not, young man. I'll take care of this. Mermaid Man:  I used my new telekinetic powers to draw barnacles into Barnacle Boy's body, where they took the place of his lungs so he could breathe underwater, too. It was at that moment when we decided to team up.","Ohhhh, so that's how you guys got together."
"Barnacle Boy: No, no, no...  The reason I teamed up with this joker is because I was stuck breathing underwater for the rest of my life. Mermaid Man: Oh... yeah. Barnacle Boy: Anyway, from that day forward, we became Johnny: Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy, superhero crime fighters! Flashback Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy:  A crime in progress! Banker: Stop! Thief! Flashback Barnacle Boy: See if you think this is funny, evildoer.  Who's laughing now, thieving scum? Banker:  Thank you, sir. And to whom do I owe this debt of gratitude? Flashback Mermaid Man: You can thank me, Mermaid Man. Man Ray:  You're mine! Flashback Barnacle Boy:  How'd you like to taste my tentacle zapper, Man Ray? Flashback Mermaid Man:  Hello...  So? What are you wearing?  Oh. In that case, can I get a large pepperoni pizza, extra cheese? Thanks. Mermaid Man:  That didn't happen! Barnacle Boy: Oh, yes, it did! Mermaid Man: Oh no, it didn't! Barnacle Boy: Oh, ha ha, like you remember. You don't even remember where you live. Mermaid Man: It didn't happen! Johnny:  And now, without any further delays, the Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy Origin Episode.","Oh, this is it!"
"Johnny: The story of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy all started here. Tim:  Come on, Ernie! The movie's about to start... Where's the popcorn? Ernie:  It's in the microwave, Tim. Johnny:  At that very moment in the apartment directly above, a rogue scientist doing tests on radioactive ants knocks over a jar of his infected specimens, one of which, without any hesitation, crawls down one floor and miraculously lands undetected. It viciously bites our soon-to-be superhero. He screams in pain,... Ernie: Ahh! Johnny: ...stumbling backwards. Tim: What on earth? Johnny: In a split-second, both men find themselves in a freefall that sends them squarely through the roof of a vats of acid factory, and into a vat of acid that is tipped over by an errant alien spaceship, carrying the two blindly on a wave of acid during a solar eclipse on a leap year, precariously careening onto a bomb-testing site, where a cataclysmic explosion exposes our heroes in waiting to highly toxic radium gases. Then, as fate would have it, magical storm clouds move in, zapping both men with a neon-plaid lightning bolt and raining radioactive ooze, which, through centrifugal and electromagnetic turbulence, causes a powerful earthquake deep in the jungle two-thousand miles away, consequently unearthing a magical crystal with wings that flies to Ernie and Tim's exact location, and, powered by super gamma energy currents, pilots them to open skies until, not paying attention, the crystal clips the top of a billboard, flinging the two back to their apartment miraculously unharmed, when... Ernie: Hey, the popcorn's ready! Johnny: ...they proceed with movie night and eat slightly overcooked popcorn. Tim: Mmmm... I think you overcooked this a little. Johnny: Suddenly, an amazing reaction to the overcooked popcorn hits them with a jolt of cosmic super energy, metamorphosing Ernie into an incredibly strong, seastar-wearing superhero and Tim into a slightly less strong, but also super sailor-looking guy. Tim: I have the sudden and incredibly urge to breathe water instead of air. Ernie: As do I. Johnny: And that is how they became the superheroes we have come to know as...  Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy: Defenders of the Deep! Barnacle Boy: Oh, feels just like yesterday, doesn't it, Mermaid Man? Mermaid Man: ...No, not really. Barnacle Boy: Hmm... Oh, so what do you boys think? Boys?","Okay, Patrick, the overcooked popcorn will be ready in twelve minutes!"
Patrick: This is gonna be so super awesome!,So superhero awesome!
"Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy: No! Stop! But you're not superhero material! Look at those shoes! Patrick: Could you pass the chips, SpongeBob?","Sorry, Patrick. We're all out."
"Patrick: Oh, barnacles! What am I going to do with all this dip!?",Patrick!
Squidward: What are you two morons doing?,Waiting to watch the sunrise with you.
Squidward: At 3:47 in the morning?,Uh-huh.
Squidward: In my bedroom?,We come here every morning.
Squidward: You sneak into my house every morning?,Uh-huh.
Patrick: It's our favorite pastime.,"Ah, the memories we've shared, right in this room. They're all here in this memory book.  Here we are on the Fourth of July. And Valentine's Day. Oh, you looked so cute on Easter.  What's wrong, Squidward?"
Squidward: Do you remember what I told you happens to my brain every time I see you? SpongeBob and Patrick:  Story time!,"Can I tell it this time, Squidward? Pretty please? Whenever Squidward sees us, the storm clouds in his brain roll in and a nasty storm rages. So, Squidward's happy gland is forced to take shelter in the recesses of his mind. But the happy gland can't find a recess deep enough, so he gets the flu and has to stay in bed until we leave."
"Squidward: And that is why I will never, for as long as I live, and throughout all time and eternity, ever-- French Narrator: 3 hours later... Squidward: And with every fiber of my being, I know that I never want to see you two again--",Squidward?
Squidward: --for as long as time shall stand.,"Uh, Squidward?"
Squidward: What? SpongeBob and Patrick: Oh.,"Thanks for sharing this moment with us, Squidward."
Squidward: Get out!  Perfect.,"Wow, that's a nice one. Thanks for inviting us to your big fencewarming party."
"Squidward: Oh, of course. Come, have a seat. The picnic's about to start.","Oh, this is so neat."
"Patrick: I've never picnicked on a catapult before. Have you, SpongeBob? Squidward: It worked! Now I just turn on the electric fence.  Now, they'll never get back in. Patrick: Let's do it again.",Let's do it again.
"Patrick: Can we, Squidward? Squidward: Huh? What? No! Get out!",But--
"Squidward: No! You're going out this door, right now--","You're not mad at us, are you, Squidward? Squidward? Squidward?  Well, okay then. You look like you need some alone time. We'll be at the petting zoo if you need us."
Squidward: Do they have cute sea horses there?,"Yeah, they're pretty adorable."
Squidward: And the little scallops that nibble on your fingers when you feed them?,"Oh, yeah."
"Squidward: Can I come? SpongeBob and Patrick:  Ooh—yeah.  Good night, Squidward.","Hey, Patrick. Did you notice anything different about Squidward?"
"Patrick: Uh, new glasses?","No, no. I mean he seems happier."
"Squidward:  Good night, Bikini Bottom. I love you! Patrick: He's probably happy about his new glasses. Squidward: Good morning, SpongeBob.  Honk!","Squidward, what are you doing here?"
"Squidward: You were right, SpongeBob. Watching the sunrise together is much better.","Oh, yeah. I forgot. The new Squidward.  I guess I better get ready for work. Boy, the new Squidward sure is friendly.  The new Squidward sure is helpful.  Huh? The new Squidward sure is hygienic.  Boy—the new Squidward sure is chummy.  Ah, this is more like it. Just me, my grill, and you, Mr. Smiley Face Krabby Patty. No one can come between us."
"Squidward: Hello, SpongeBob.",S-S-Squidward! Aren't you supposed to be out front?
Squidward: I wanted to help you work.,"What? Oh, that's silly talk, Squidward. I'm chief fry cook, and we fry cooks work alone. And, uh--  --we're not supposed to get distracted while we're cooking, Squidward!"
"Mr. Krabs: Mr. Squidward!  Stop distracting SpongeBob and serve the customers! Squidward: How are we today? Everything a-okay here? Tom: What do you mean? Squidward: How's your meal? Anyone need tartar sauce? I have an idea. How about a free Krusty Krab Junior crew hat for the little tyke. Little Kid Fish:  Mommy, I'm scared. Squidward: Who wants a free refill? Mr. Krabs: Did someone just say free?  What's the problem here? Little Kid Fish: He- he-- he asked me if I wanted tartar sauce,  and then he gave me a free hat! Mr. Krabs: Free?!  Mr. Squidward! Squidward: Yes, sir. Mr. Krabs: Listen up. Me customers come here for cheap food and verbal abuse, and if you can't get it right, get back in the kitchen with SpongeBob.","Whoa! Squidward, what are you doing?"
"Squidward: Mr. Krabs told me to help you, so I made Krabby Patties.","Oh, these will never do. Besides, it takes years of practice and you'd never be up to it."
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob? What are you doing with those patties?,"Oh, these are no good, Mr. Krabs. Squidward made them."
Mr. Krabs: They look okay to me.,But he's not a real fry cook.
"Mr. Krabs: He is now. Give him an apron and put him to work. You know, he might be as good a fry cook as you. Squidward: Wow, SpongeBob! You've been Employee of the Month a gazillion times. I wish I could be employee of the month.","Actually, Squidward, in point of fact, I've been Employee of the Month a gazillion and six times. Keep dreaming."
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob?,"Yes, Mr. Krabs?"
Mr. Krabs: What's the meaning of this?,What's wrong with it?
Mr. Krabs: A smiley face with dimples?,Dimples? It was him! New Squidward did it.
"Mr. Krabs: Mr. Squidward? Squidward: Yes, sir. Mr. Krabs: I have one thing to say to you, mister. Oh, I just love the little ketchup dimples you do!  You're the new Employee of the Month. Patrick:  Special delivery. For this month's Employee of the Month. I wonder who it could be. As if I didn't know.  No, really. who is it? I don't know.",The guy you're looking for is over there.
Patrick: Oh. SpongeBob?,Yes?
"Patrick: I want you to pull yourself together, okay? And then I want you to--",Mm-hmm?
Patrick: Help me spell 'Squidward'.,Okay.
"Patrick: Thanks, SpongeBob. Party at my house! Squidward: Enjoying the party, SpongeBob?  How's the cake, SpongeBob?","It's okay, Squidward.  It's a very okay cake."
Squidward: I love being Employee of the Month.,"Oh, so what if New Squidward is a better cook than you?  Doesn't matter. And so what if Squidward replaced you as Employee of the Month? And so what if New Squidward is pogo-dancing with your best friend?  Pogo-dancing with your best friend?!  Stop!  Maybe you can take my job! And maybe you can take my place on the employee of the month wall of fame! But nobody, and I mean nobody, pogo dances with that guy  but me!  Now do yourself a big fat favor and get out, bub!  You know, Patrick. maybe I was a little hard on New Squidward. I mean, he might be a good fry cook. and he might have his picture on the wall, but I still have the best friend in the world  I know. I'll go apologize. Come on.  Squidward, I just want to say I'm sorry for being so selfish, and yelling at you and all. I mean, who cares about cooking, pictures on the wall and dancing. We're bigger than that, right? So, if you're willing to let bygones be bygones, then I'm willing to meet you half way. What do you say, buddy? Put her there."
Patrick: He's too proud.,"Oh, I'll just meet you all the way. Lay one on me, pal."
"Patrick: Hey, I want to dance funny, too! Squidward: SpongeBob! Patrick! What are you two still doing here?",What are you talking about?
"Patrick:  Yeah, what's the big idea?  I don't need this aggravation! Why are you still standing here?!","Hey, Sandy. Hey, Sandy. Hey, Sandy!  Wow!"
"Sandy: Howdy, SpongeBob, how do you like it?",What is it?
"Sandy: It's a rocket ship, duh! I'll meet you downstairs and show you around.","Wow, what are you gonna do with it?"
"Sandy:  I'm goin' to the moon, SpongeBob!",The moon! Can I go?
"Sandy: No way, SpongeBob. Especially after your little mishap with my whirlybird.  Besides, there's not enough room for you.","But I don't take up that much space!  See?  I can fit in here.  Mmm, cozy."
Sandy: I need that drawer.,"Well, how about...  This?  Or this?  Or this?"
"Sandy: SpongeBob, this isn't for fun.  See this? This is science. I don't have time for games and I don't have time for stowaways.","Fine.  Put me in the brig, I don't mind!"
"Sandy: That's the air vent, SpongeBob.  I need that, too.","Oh, please, can I go? Can I? Can I? Huh? Please?"
Sandy: All right. Y'all can ride in the cargo hold if you just...,"YEAH!!! Goin' to the moon! Moon ride, moon ride, moon ride!"
"Sandy:  But this time, just don't touch anything, okay?","Wow, look at that pop gun. Are we gonna go hunting aliens on the moon?"
"Sandy: Aww, hush, silly.  This is for harvesting moon rocks.","Well, when you're done playing with rocks, you could use that for some serious alien hunting."
"Sandy: Aliens? Are you nuts? I've been to the moon, there are no aliens.","Sandy, Sandy, Sandy. How could you be so naïve? There's evidence all around us. How do you explain Atlantis, cow licks, 99¢ stores?  And how about those mysterious circles that pop up in kelp fields over night?  Ah! There's one now!"
"Sandy: SpongeBob, you don't know the first thing about outer space. Now go home and get some shut eye. Be here tomorrow at the crack of dawn and leave your crazy alien notions behind.","Oh, hurry up!  These oughta do the trick."
"Patrick:  Hi ya, SpongeBob!","What is it, Patrick? Can't you see I'm sleeping here?"
"Patrick: Well, I know you're going on that moon trip tomorrow, so I just wanted to bring you something.",A present?
"Patrick: No. Uh, SpongeBob, is Sandy's rocket alien proof?","There are no aliens, Patrick. Just ask Sandy."
"Patrick:  Well, I guess you won't be needing this alien repellent for your trip!","Alien repellent? Let me see that.  New Alien-Out Window Protectant. Does not stop burglars. Well, I guess you're right, Patrick. We'd better go spray those windows!"
"Patrick: Look how big it is, SpongeBob!","It's pretty impressive, all right."
Patrick: Come on!,"We're just here to spray the windows, Patrick!"
Patrick: Wow. How do you think we get inside?,"We don't, we're just spraying the...  ...windows."
"Patrick: I opened it, SpongeBob! Come on!  Holy sea cow, SpongeBob. This must be the control room.","Yeah, just don't touch anything."
"Patrick: Look, I'm winning!","Patrick, cut that out! Patrick, come on, we can't hang around in here. This is Sandy's big rocket, not some kind of a fun...  ...house?"
Patrick: WOO-HOO! WINNER! YEAH! HIGH SCORE!,"Hey, Patrick, what game was that, anyway?"
Patrick: I don't know!  But let's see what this does!,"Patrick, I don't think we should..."
Patrick: I like rockets. Patrick: More! More!,"No more!  Okay, one more.  Okay, that's enough. Let's go."
"Patrick: Hey, I think this one starts it!","Stop, Patrick, what are you doing? I'm the space traveler here. And I happen to know that that particular button is riiight over here."
"Patrick: You started the rocket! Sandy:  ...Awwwww, Spongebob... Patrick: Hold on, buddy!  Hey, we stopped falling!",Look!  We're in space now! Wee!
"Patrick: Hey! Whoa! Somebody get me down, or up, or something!  Hey, SpongeBob, watch this!","Hey, you got your toothpaste in my peanut butter!  Patrick, I can do this!"
"Patrick: Hey, who turned the heavy back on?",We must be landing.
"Patrick: All right! Sandy: Sometimes that SpongeBob is as dumb as a sack of peanuts. Patrick: Wow, it sure looks a lot like home.  Hey, look, it's Gary! Come here, Gary. Gary!","Wait, don't go near it, Patrick! Can't you see this is all a trick? The aliens are projecting our memories onto the environment! They're trying to confuse us, Patrick."
Patrick: So you mean to say they’ve taken what we thought we think and make us think we thought our thoughts we’ve been thinking our thoughts we think we thought?! I think?,"Okay, but I'm not gonna to fall for it!  Yeah!"
"Patrick: You got him, SpongeBob! Won't Sandy be proud.","Sandy. I forgot about her. She's gonna hate us for stealing her rocket. But won't she feel silly when I bring home a real live alien? Aww, she'll love me!  Come on, Patrick, the more, the merrier!"
Patrick: Alien hunting! Alien hunting!,"Shh, quiet, Patrick, don't let them know we're onto them. Uh, yeah, alien hunting. I saw that on TV, too. Gee, Patrick, let's drop in on our old pal Squidward and see what he's up to!  Make sure your gun is pumped.  Look at it, Patrick, it's disgusting.  It's even uglier up close. Let's begin the analysis."
Patrick: Wait! What's THAT?  I think I'm gonna be sick.,"Patrick, do you know what this thing is?"
Patrick: Stinky.,No. It's an egg sack! Let's look at the embryo.
"SpongeBob and Patrick: Twins! Patrick: Pardon my French, but get this thing off me! Squidward: Patrick and SpongeBob? Get out of my bedroom! And give me back my tentacles! Patrick: It's awake!",Let's capture the little phony!
"Squidward: Get away from me! Mr. Krabs: Ahoy, there, lads! Up a bit late to be playing pirate, aren't ye?  Wait! Don't shoot! Okay, okay, shoot me, but don't take me money!",We don't want your money... moon man!  Look at them squirming around in there.
"Patrick: Eww, gross.","Well, there's plenty more where those came from."
"Mrs. Puff:  SpongeBob, what are you doing here so late?  Whatever this is...  ...it's going on your permanent record! Patrick: SpongeBob, I think we might have to make a second trip.",There's no time for that! Just push harder.
"Sandy: SpongeBob, what are y'all doing? I can't turn my back on you for two seconds without you causing a whole mess of trouble. Why look at ya, bagging up all your friends and neighbors just like they were a fresh crop of hickory smoked sausages. You darned turned my little science experiment into a disaster. You two oughta should be ashamed of...","Nice try, Sandy."
Patrick: Or should I say Ms. Alien Pants. Hahaha! Sandy: Aliens? Is that what this is about?  This isn't the moon! We're still in Bikini Bot--,"It just goes to show you: you can't trust anyone.  So, you were an alien all the time and you didn't even tell me!"
Patrick: I didn't even know!,"Yeah? Well, I got you now."
"Patrick: Oh, but it's not you that's got me, it's...  ...me that's got me!","Boy, I can't wait to see the look on Sandy's face!  Sandy, I'm back!  Wow, Bikini Bottom sure looks different.  Uh-oh..."
"Everyone else: SpongeBob, we aliens would like a word with you! Mr. Krabs: Here they come, lads!",Hooray!
"Squidward: Fantastic. Mr. Krabs: Thank you very much, madam.  I feel so alive! ♪Cha ching. Cha-ching. Cha-chingaree. Money, oh money, how I love thee. Cha-ching. Cha-chong. Cha-changaroo. From pennies to dollars. Any amount will do. Cha-ching. Cha-ching. It's no contest. There's only one thing that I love the best from every sight I ever seen, to sweetest sound I've heard. I'd gladly give up everything for all the money that I've earned! Cha-ching. Cha-ching. Cha-chingaring. There's nothing on Earth like the feeling of greed. There's nothing on Earth like the feeling of greed!♪ Squidward: Please don't do that again. Howard:  I think the stain glass barstool can go over here. And the suede hand carved wooden sports flag display case can go over there. Mr. Krabs: Ahoy there, matey. Can I help you gentlemen with something? Howard: I'd like to speak to the owner. Mr. Krabs: Who wants to know? Howard: Allow me to introduce myself. Howard Blandy: President of the Blandy Franchising Company. Mr. Krabs: Howard Blandy? You mean the Howard Blandy? The Howard Blandy that masterminded the ruthless takeover of every small family owned business in Bikini Bottom? That Howard Blandy?  I worship you. Howard: Get it together, little man. Mr. Krabs: Sorry, it's just you're rich.  I'm Mr. Krabs. To what do I owe the honor of having you at the Krusty Krab, Howard? Howard:  What would it take to buy the Krusty Krab from you? Mr. Krabs: Buy the Krusty Krab? It's not for sale. You know, I may not make as much as your fancy-schmancy-migger restaurant chain, but it's the blood, sweat, and tears of a hard days work. It's not about the mon...  Holy sweet mother of pearl! I like the way you think, Blandy. But it's gonna take a lot more than a suitcase of cash to buy the Krusty Krab from me. Howard: Oh, there's a lot more than that. The rest is over there. Mr. Krabs: Jumpin' King Neptune!  Sold. Can I have my money? Howard: Just one thing. If you can sign this contract. It just states that you relinquish the Krusty Krab and all proprietary ownership thereof. Along with its employees, merchandise, logos, and cash registers. Mr. Krabs: Do I still get the money? Howard: Of course. Mr. Krabs: That'll be fine then.  Here you go. Now gimme gimme gimme gimme.  Whoo-ha! See ya around.","What's happening? Mr Krabs! Mr Krabs, they're putting up pennants in the Krusty Krab. What's going on?"
Mr. Krabs: I'm retiring!,Retiring?
Mr. Krabs: I'm free to do whatever I want. I can learn to ride that bicycle I got 30 years ago. Or go to the new hook museum downtown. Or even paint bowls of fruit. Aren't you happy for me?,I sure am.
"Mr. Krabs: So long, boys.","Have fun, Mr. Krabs."
"Squidward: Heaven knows I won't. Carl: Hi, gentlemen, I'm Carl. I'll be your new manager.",New manager?
Carl: I think you'll find working at the Krabby O'Monday’s to be a both learning experience and enjoyable one.,Krabby O'Monday’s?
"Carl:  You won't be needing these anymore.  Now here are your new uniforms and here are the...  employee manuals. See ya first thing tomorrow. Mr. Krabs:  Ahh, the sweet smell of a brand-new day. First stop: the new hook museum. And then maybe I'll...  Hey, the Krabby O'Monday’s? Not the name I would've chosen, but that's all behind me now.  Wait a minute. I hate golf!  Well, I've done everything I wanted to do. And it's not even noon. Pearl:  Did you see the shoes she has on? So last year.  Hold on, Gina. Yeah, Dad? Mr. Krabs: How's it going? Pearl: Fine. Mr. Krabs: Whatcha up to? Pearl: I'm talking on the phone! Mr. Krabs: Oh, really? Pearl: Really. Mr. Krabs: Oh. Pearl: Dad, isn't there something you need to do? Mr. Krabs: Actually, I was hoping you and I could do something together. Pearl:  Get out! That's it, Dad. Get a job, get a hobby, or get some friends. Because I can't take it anymore! Mr. Krabs:  Get some friends she says, find a hobby she says, get a job she says...  Help wanted. Squidward: Ahoy there, mateys. Welcome to Krabby O'Monday’s. Tyler: It's my birthday. Squidward: Can I start you off with... Mother: Will you sing the Krabby O'Monday’s birthday song to my special little man? Squidward: Happy, happy birthday.  Happy, happy bir... Carl: Uhh, Squidward, can I talk to you for a second? What's our motto here at Krabby O'Monday’s? Squidward: Sincere service with a smile? Carl: Well, yes, but with the Krabby O'Monday’s spirit. Now, Squidward, you wouldn't want to have to talk to human resources...  ...would you? So, what's our motto again? Squidward: Sincere service  with a smile. Carl: Now you're gettin' it. Mr. Krabs:  Morning, SpongeBob.",Mr. Krabs! What are you doing here?
"Mr. Krabs: Retirement ain't all it's cracked up to be. So, I'm the new bus boy.  Uhh, okay, son. You're starting to creep my out.","I knew you'd come back, Mr. Krabs, I just knew you would."
"Mr. Krabs: Okay, boy, back to work.","Aye aye, sir."
Mr. Krabs: I'm not your boss anymore. Just call me Eugene.,Aye aye... Eugene.
"Mr. Krabs: Ahoy, Squidward. Squidward: Ahoy, Eugene! Would you mind clearing this table for me? Mr. Krabs: Sure, Squidward. Ya know, I've never seen you so happy. Squidward:  They're watching us. Mr. Krabs: That guy's a real pain in the hindquarters, eh Squiddy? Squidward: Uhh, Eugene, I think you need to look at page 20 of our employee handbook again. Mr. Krabs: Oh, I don't need Carl's silly rules. Squidward: I really think you should look. Mr. Krabs: What's this? Help me? Carl: Hey fellas,  what's going on over here? Squidward: Oh, hey, Carl, uhh, I was just reminding Eugene of article 24 section 3 of our employee handbook. Carl: Cut the chatter, and pick up a platter.  Good job, Squidward. Mr. Krabs: What have you done to the real Squidward? Carl: The less you know, Eugene, the better. Mr. Krabs: What's going on around here? Where's SpongeBob?",Where's the love?
"Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, what happened to the Krabby Patties?",I tried to tell them... but they wouldn't listen to me!
"Mr. Krabs: This is obscene.  Carl, I need to have a word with... Cash Register: Your change is $1.75. Mr. Krabs: Automated cash register? Noo!  Hey, Carl, what have you done to me restaurant? Processed Krabby Patties? Computerized registers? Carl: Look around you. Our customers are quite content with the contrived and the mediocre. Mr. Krabs: That's because they don't know what they're eating.  Excuse me, ma'am, do you know what's in that Krabby Patty you're eating? Martha Smith: No. Mr. Krabs: See that? Without all your smoke & mirrors, no one would stomach this garbage. Frank: What'd he say? Garbage? Carl: Eugene, you're in violation of your contract. Mr. Krabs: Rules! Here's a rule for ya: people can't eat stain glass barstools!  I'll show you automated! Carl: Mr. Blandy? Code red! Free thinker! Howard: Mr. Krabs, is there a problem here? Mr. Krabs: You better believe there's a problem! I used to kiss the ground you walked on, Blandy! But after seeing this, I wouldn't even spit in your direction! Krabby Patties are supposed to be made by hand, one at a time! Not on a conveyor belt! Carl: Oh, my.  Does this mean I won't get that raise, sir? Howard:  It's ruined! Friend: We'll have to sell it. We'll be lucky if we get a fraction of what we paid for it. Mr. Krabs: I'll buy it for full price. Friend: Sold. We won't need your contract anymore.  Nice doing business with you. Mr. Krabs: Pleasure's all mine. Now get out of me restaurant.  Well, we did it, boys.  The Krusty Krab is ours again. Ya know, in a fit of maniacal rage, I may have destroyed the restaurant, scared away all our customers, and forced us into bankruptcy because I returned nearly every penny I sold this stink heap for, but it was all worth it. And I got back the love of my dear friends. Squidward: Really, Mr. Krabs? Mr. Krabs: No, not really. Get back to work! Plankton: Karen:  Plankton, is that you? Welcome home, honey. Plankton: Karen: How was your day?  Dear Neptune, Plankton!  What is that smell?!? Plankton: The aroma you speak of, Karen, my computer wife, is the stench of failure. Stench:  Failure. Plankton: And now, the smell of defeat so deeply penetrates my soul that my very skin is permeated with its foul stench.  Thanks for asking. Karen: Well, it smells horrible! You're not coming in here smelling like that! Plankton: Hey! What are you—? Plankton: Stop that at once! You—! Plankton:  I command you to—! Plankton:  Oh, no! Karen: There you go. Now. don't you feel better? Plankton:  Although I do look ravishing, it's not enough to mask the ugliness I feel inside. Karen: Did I miss a spot? Karen: Don't blow a gasket, dear. Today's a special day! Plankton:  Special day? Karen: Yes. We're celebrating your biggest accomplishment ever! Plankton:  Really? I accomplished something? What is it? Karen: It has something with you asking a certain someone to spend the rest of her life with you. Plankton:  What? Karen:  We each wear rings in memory of this moment. Plankton:  Enough with the riddles, woman! Just tell me what this proud moment in my life is! Karen: Oh, you selfish, green twit! It's our wedding anniversary! Plankton:  Oh, that.  Yippee. Karen:  You forgot! And I got you the perfect gift! Plankton:  The Krabby Patty Formula?!?  How did you get it?!? Karen: First I went to the Krusty Krab... Karen:  One Krabby Patty, please. Karen:  Thank you. Squidward:  Whatever. Plankton: What? Sorry. I wasn't listening.  Well, you can tell me later. Karen:  You're not getting this until you get me a gift. Plankton: Karen: From your heart.",And that's the story of how I got my head stuck in the fry vat.
"Squidward: That story gets better every time you tell it, SpongeBo—",Hold on! Did you hear that? It sounds like... ...despair.
Squidward: That was probably me.,"No. No. Not bitterness. Despair. And it's coming from over...  this way.  Plankton! What's wrong, Plankton?"
Plankton: Wha—? SpongeBob? Ah...there's nothing wrong. Don't worry.  I'm...fine.,Come on. Tell your Uncle SpongeBob.
"Plankton: Oh, it's nothing. It's just that today is my wedding anniversary.","Aww...what present did you buy your wife, huh? What'd you buy her?"
"Plankton: Uh, I didn't buy Karen anything.","We've got a  love emergency!  Attention everyone, we've got a love emergency!  Please stand back. Love emergency. Thank You. Love emergency. Plankton, there's only one thing you need to do. You need to give her a present from  in here."
Plankton: What? Like a kidney?,"No, from the heart. That's where your love grows."
Plankton: My what?,Your love.
Plankton: My loove?,Love.
Plankton: Loop?,Luh...vuh!
Plankton: Lump.,Say it with me. L...
Plankton: L...,...uhh...
Plankton: ...uhh...,...vvvv...
Plankton:  ...vvv...,Llll...uhhh...vuh!
Plankton: Llll...uhhh...vuh!,"That's it! You've taken your first steps into the hall of luh-uv. Now, tell me more about your Karen So, what's your favorite thing for you and Karen to do together?"
"Plankton: Well, we like to take long walks on the beach, and...uh...we talk about our dreams. Uh...our dreams of conquering all of Bikini Bottom and become supreme overlords of all creation  and to trample our enemies beneath our feet.  Yeah.","Trampling enemies.  Now, tell me about Karen."
"Plankton: Well, she's a Mark II Surplus U.N.I.V.A.C. with 256 gigs of RAM, and...uh...there's the cutest mole on her CPU and the way she processes data. Ah ha. Ooh, mama.",Does she have any hobbies?
"Plankton: Uh...well, uh...  she does make a lot of beeping sounds.",Interesting. Does she ever go Ding!?
"Plankton: Now that you mention it, she does go Ding!. At least once a day.",Ooh. A music lover. I think we have our solution. You need to serenade her.
Plankton: Who? Me? I can't sing.,"Not to worry. When you finish, you'll be as  golden voiced as me. Repeat after me. ♪Me me me me me me meeeee...♪"
Plankton:  ♪Me me me me me me me...♪  ♪...Me me me me me...♪ Plankton:  ♪...me me meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee♪  EEEEEEEEEEEEEE  EEEEEEEEE  EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE  EEEEEEEEEEE.... Plankton: EEEE! Whew!,"Oh, you are ready!"
Plankton: Ready? But what do I sing?,"Oh, when the time comes, you'll know. The music she'll love comes from inside."
Plankton: Why are you so obsessed with my internal organs?,"This is it, Plankton."
Plankton: I don't think I'm ready.,"Oh, you just got butterflies in your tummy."
"Plankton: No, I'm just nervous. I don't know what flying insects have to do with it.","Get in there and sing, you single-celled Romeo, you.  Ah, love."
"Plankton:  Karen? Karen: Plankton? I don't see any present. Plankton: Oh, I have it. It's right here in my kidney... I mean, heart!  Me me me meeee...me me meee...  ♪Oh, my Karen. Oh, my Karen. Oh, my computer wife, Karen.♪  ♪Put down those punch cards. Put down those punch cards. And listen to my ode. Oh, my Karen. Oh, my Karen. Oh, my computer wife, Karen. What compares to.♪ ♪What compares to uh... uh... eee... uh... umm...♪  Aha!  ♪Your beautiful diodes!♪  ♪Oh, my Karen. Oh, my Karen. Oh, my computer wife, Karen. I was blinded.♪  ♪Yes I was blinded. I was blinded by the light of your cathode ray. Oh, I built you.♪  ♪Yes, I built you. I built you in the, uh....♪  Um... ♪In the shape of a cube. Oh, my Karen. Oh, my Karen. You'll never know how much I love your vacuum tubes♪ Karen:  That was so beautiful. Plankton: You really liked it? Karen: I loved it! But not as much as I love you, Plankton. Plankton: I l...l...love you, too!  So, can I have my present now? Karen: Of course, my little overlord. Now loading the Krabby Patty Formula...",They're such a lovely couple.  The Krabby Patty Formula?!?
"Plankton: Yes! You porous kitchen utensil! By helping me woo my computer wife, you've just doomed the Krusty Krab!","Oh, no! I've got to stop it before it's too late."
Karen: 45% Loaded.,"Control, Alt, Delete."
Karen: 55% Loaded.,How do ya turn this thing off?!?
Plankton: Get your hand off my wife! Karen: 65% Loaded.,"The plug.  Ha! You lose, Plankton."
"Plankton:  Oh, no. You unplugged the coffee maker, SpongeBob.",I am so fired.
"Karen: Loading Krabby Patty Formula... Plankton: Here it comes! Karen: Oh, Plankton, you've made me so happy. Plankton: That's fantastic. Where's that formula? Karen:  I'm crying. What's going on? Plankton: Karen, what's wrong? Have you sprung a leak? Karen: No. I'm just so happy that I'm crying with tears of joy. Plankton: But you're shorting out. Karen: I'm just--. The Krabby...Patty...Formula...loading...completed. Plankton: Yes!",No!
Plankton: No!,"Yes! I'm saved! Your wife exploded!   Um...happy anniversary, you guys."
"Karen: Rebooting... Loading E.M.I.L.P.... Plankton: E.M.I.L.P.? What's E.M.I.L.P.?!? Karen: Emergency Mother In-Law Program. Plankton: Oh, no. E.M.I.L.P.: Plankton, what have you done to my daughter?! You made her cry! You know, she could have been with an ATM! Someone with money! But she chose you! I don't know why! Narrator: A slow day at the Krusty Krab.","Hey, Squidward, check this out.  Two ordinary Krabby Patties, but when expertly tossed with the skill of a champ, they become..."
Patrick: A one-way ticket to PAIN! Mr. Krabs: Huh?,Heave-ho!
"Mr. Krabs:  What the devil fish is going on out here?!  Time is money! And if you boys is wasting time, then you're wasting money!  And that's just sick!",But we were performing a ritual to attract customers. And the only way the ritual can work is for us to get hurt. Real bad.
"Mr. Krabs: What stupid barnacle told you that? Squidward: Uhh… Mr. Krabs: Listen, instead of killing yourselves, I've got something real important for you to do for me.  Now, are you men ready for your super... SpongeBob and Patrick: Superrrr...! Mr. Krabs: ...special... SpongeBob and Patrick: ...speciallll...! Mr. Krabs:  ...secret... SpongeBob and Patrick:  ...seeeeecret... Mr. Krabs: ...assignment? SpongeBob and Patrick:  Assignment?!? I beg of you, Mr. Krabs! Put us out of our misery! Mr. Krabs: The two of you are to paint the inside of me house! SpongeBob and Patrick: Yay! Mr. Krabs:  But, let me give you two a warning.  This here paint is absolutely permanent.  It will never come off.  So if I see even one drop on anything but wall, I'll have your rear ends cut off...  …and mounted over me fireplace! So, have fun with the job.",Patrick?
"Patrick: Yeah, SpongeBob?",Mr. Krabs sure has a lot of expensive treasures to drip paint on.  Do you think we should take this stuff off the walls?
"Patrick:  No way, SpongeBob. We're not getting paid to move stuff.","Patrick, we're not getting paid at all."
"Patrick: Well, that's what I said! We're not getting paid and that's final.","Okay, we'll just paint around all this stuff."
"Patrick: Good, just don't pay me.","First, we need to set up the tarp."
Patrick: Tarp ahoy!,"We're gonna need more coverage, Patrick.  Now that's what I'm talking about!  Well, I guess we should open these cans of permanent paint now."
Patrick: That will never ever come off.,"And if we get it on anything, Mr. Krabs will cut our butts off."
"Patrick: And mount them on the wall.  Careful, SpongeBob. Careful, SpongeBob. SpongeBob, careful. Careful, SpongeBob. Careful, SpongeBob! Careful, SpongeBob!  CAREFUL, SPONGEBOB!!!","Patrick, the lid's already off."
Patrick: Oh...  now it's my turn!,"I'm thinking I should do this one, too, Patrick."
"Patrick: Well, that was a rip-off.","Okay, Patrick, let's get our brushes ready.  Uhh, maybe we should start with a smaller brush.  All right, Patrick, gotta get started painting this wall. With the permanent paint that we're not allowed to get on anything but the wall. Well, here we go..."
Narrator: One hour later.,...Just a few more seconds of mental preparation and I'll be painting this wall!
Narrator: Two hours later.,...I'm getting to the painting...
Narrator: Three hours later. Patrick:  Can you move it along? I'm all out of time cards.,No problem. Here I go.  Yeah. Huh?  Barnacles! What could be worse than a giant paint bubble?
"Patrick: Oh, I know...  TWO giant paint bubbles!",Noooooo!!  Patrick?
"Patrick: Yeah, SpongeBob?",I don't think this bubble can get much bigger.
Patrick:  Nonsense!,"Pat, no!!  We did it!  We painted the whole house! And without getting a drop of paint on anything but th--  FLAPPIN' FLOTSAM, WHAT'S THAT!?!?!?!?!  We're dead, Patrick! Do you know what that is?"
Patrick: Hmm... it's a dollar. I win!,That's not just a dollar. It's Mr. Krabs' first dollar! His most prized possession! And we got paint on it!
"Patrick: I think you are over-reacting, SpongeBob, I don't see any paint.","Okay,  this isn't a problem. Maybe I can just wipe it off.  There! I think I got it."
"Patrick: Oh, now I see it!","This is not good, Patrick! This is not good! Mr. Krabs is gonna be home soon! And when he sees what we did to his first dollar…"
"Both:  AAAAAHHHHHH!!!! Patrick: Wait, SpongeBob, all we got to do is wash the paint off and Krabs will never know!",But Mr. Krabs said...
Patrick:  Forget what Mr. Krabs said! Every paint comes off with something!,Did it work?
Patrick: Nope.,Did it work?
Patrick: Nope. Patrick:,Did it work?
Patrick: Nope.  Oof! Oof! Oof!,Nothing's working!
"Patrick: Wait, SpongeBob, we're not cavemen!  We have technology!",It didn't work.
"Patrick:  This is all Mr. Krabs' fault! If he hadn't hung that stupid dollar in the first place...! I mean, it's not like it looks any different than a regular dollar. Why hang it? You could just stick any old dollar bill up on the wall, no one would even know the difference! You might as well reach in my wallet, pull out a dollar, and put it on the wall! And it would...","Hurry, Patrick, take out your wallet."
"Patrick: I don't see where you're going with this...  Hey, a dollar!","Our butts are saved, Patrick! Now all we have to...Patrick!! No!  PATRICK, NO! WHY DID YOU PUT IT...  AHH! GRAB IT, PAT, GRAB IT! HURRY, HURRY! I...  Aww, Pat, no, no!  GET IT, PAT! GET IT! GET IT, GET IT!  No-o-o-o-oh!"
Patrick:  ...Wanna bite?,"Okay, okay, we still have time!  Don't panic, SpongeBob, panic is the enemy. You are strong. Through your strength, you shall overcome!"
"SpongeBob's reflection: You're on your own, pal.","Hurry, Patrick, put Mr. Krabs' dollar back on the wall! I got an idea!"
Mr. Krabs: What the…?,"We're all done, sir. Everything looks great."
"Patrick: Yeah, you don't have to look around. We already did that for you. Mr. Krabs: You both look like you got a dirty little secret. Ha! I'm kidding. Let's see how you did. Oh, not bad boys, not bad. A nice even coat, high gloss, no bubbles.","Yeah, looks great, Mr. Krabs. We'll just be going..."
Mr. Krabs: Flippin' fish fossils! Look what you did!,"Oh, Mr. Krabs, we're so sorry! Don't de-butt me! Don't de-butt me!"
"Patrick:  Mr. Krabs, I'm sorry! Have mercy! Have mercy! Mr. Krabs: Sorry? You dusted all my knickknacks! That was really nice. Great Barrier Reef! What's this?","It's not our fault, Mr Krabs!"
"Patrick:  We didn't do it on purpose! Both:  Accident! Accident! Accident! Accident! Patrick:  I don't want to be butt-less! Mr. Krabs: Oh, and I suppose the floor molding just painted itself on its own.  That's what I call craftsmanship. Criminy jim-jam! you messed up my dollar!...  ...rama!  All the dolls in this doll-a-rama were perfectly aligned! Doll: Mama. Mr. Krabs: And you boys thought I wouldn't notice! Oh well, I guess no harm done. All right, boys, you're free to go.  Ow! That's funny, I don't remember a stack of painting jutting from the wall where me first dollar used to be. In fact, I don't remember this painting at all.  Or this one.  Or this one.  Or this one.  Or this one.  Or this one.  Or this one.","Hi, Mr. Krabs."
"Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, what are you doing?","Oh, you know, just hanging around."
"Patrick:  Boooooooooooo. Mr. Krabs: Get down onto the floor, boy.  Alright, now you're just being silly.","No, No, Mr. Krabs! No! Don't look, it's a trick!"
Mr. Krabs:  Did you two get paint all over me first dollar?,"We're sorry, Mr. Krabs!"
"Patrick: We're so sorry! Mr. Krabs:  And then did you draw on it with crayon?! Patrick:  I thought, you know, maybe he'd buy it? Mr. Krabs: All right, boys! You know what I've got to do now?",You mean our butts?
"Patrick: Can I use mine one last time? Mr. Krabs: There we go, good as new. Both:  But, but, but, but, but, but, but, but... Mr. Krabs: Yeah, I lied. This paint actually comes off with saliva!","Oh, I get it, Mr. Krabs. You told us the paint was permanent so me and Patrick would be more careful and not get paint on anything!"
"Mr. Krabs: Nah, I just like to mess with ya!  The old man's still got it!  Aww, crud. I really gotta learn to say it, not spray it. Mrs. Puff: Have a good summer vacation, I'll see you all next fall!  Well... Hopefully not all of you. Students: Weee! Mrs. Puff: Time to vamoose!","Oh, Mrs. Puff?"
Mrs. Puff:  Where are my keys!?,Mrs. Puff!?
Mrs. Puff:  Come on!,I've got something for you!  Mrs. Puff?
Mrs. Puff:  I gotta get out of here!  Phew! I lost him.,Mrs. Puff?  Can I give you my note now?
Mrs. Puff:  Why can't you take a hint?!,Help!
"Mrs. Puff: Oh dear, of course I'll help.",Mrs. Puff!  Don't forget to read the note!
"Mrs. Puff: Why won't he just let-  Oh no! Not again! If my parole officer finds out, I don't stand a chance! I'll be sentenced for life this time! Mr. Krabs: Hmmm... Quite a conundrum you have here. It would be a cryin' shame to a certain someone if this information were to leak out to the authorities. Mrs. Puff: Oh, please, don't tell the police, I'll be a dead man if I get caught! I'll do anything! Mr. Krabs: It's gonna cost a fortune to get this fixed. Thanks to you. Mrs. Puff: Oh, gracious me, I don't have that kind of cash! Mr. Krabs: Don't worry! I think we can work something out. Mrs. Puff: Huh? You mean we should go out on a date? Mr. Krabs: Err... interesting, no, I had something else in mind. Surprise, SpongeBob! You got a new co-worker.",Mrs. Puff!
"Mr. Krabs: She'll be filling in for Squidward while he's...  ...on vacation! Isn't that right, Mrs. Puff? Mrs. Puff:  That's right. Mr. Krabs: She'll be workin unpaid until he returns. Won't she? Mrs. Puff:  Yeah. Mr. Krabs: Squidward! I forgot to tell ya. You're taking a summer off! Have a good time! See ya!  Phew! That was close.","It all sounds a bit mysterious to me. Oh but why should I care? I'm working with good old Mrs. Puff! Say, did you get my note?"
"Mrs. Puff: Oh, I got your note alright.",So what do you think?
"Mrs. Puff: What did I think!? I think it caused me to- Let's just say, it changed my life. Mr. Krabs: It certainly has. Now, SpongeBob, would you please show Mrs. Puff her new duties vis-a-vis with her recently changed life? 'Cause I'm sure a snail can't be bothered to do it.","Oh, boy! I get to show you the ropes, Mrs. Puff! Hey, it's kind of like I'm the teacher!  I'm gonna be teaching you now."
Mrs. Puff: Patience is a virtue.,Shall we start with the importance of good kitchen hygiene or the unabridged history of the patty?
Mrs. Puff: Why don't we just start with my basic duties?,"Eager to get behind the wheel, eh? I like it. Repeat after me, this is my register, there are many like it but this one is mine!"
"Mrs. Puff: There are many like it, but this one is mine.",Now like a ships rudder this old register is temperamental. When you hit the total key... What are you doing?  You're not taking notes!? Always remember: Good Grades.
"SpongeBob and Mrs. Puff: Always follow diligent notes! Mrs. Puff: I know, SpongeBob. I taught you that phrase!","Don't worry, Mrs. Puff, you can borrow my notepad today!  Now, where was I... Oh, yes! The total key is a bit sticky, so you're gonna have to be forceful, but not too forceful. Get it?"
"Mrs. Puff: Forceful, but not too forceful.","You did! Diligence like this deserves a sticker!  Collect 10 and your entitled to a super sticker!  Why don't we work on our customer service with a little role playing, I'll be the customer and you show me your best and friendliest service, hmm?"
Mrs. Puff: Fine...,"Good day, ma lady, charmed, I'm sure."
"Mrs. Puff: Heh, funny costume, SpongeBob.","Forgive me, I know not of this SpongeBob fellow. My name is Yukthomas Féyêdêmuffin and I entered your place of business in hope to pro-clearing lunch on this fine day."
"Mrs. Puff: Of course, Mr. Féyêdêmuffin. What would you like to eat today?","Psst, Mrs. Puff, it's me, SpongeBob, I think it will go smoother if you refer to him as duke."
"Mrs. Puff: You mean to refer to you as Duke? Duke: Of course, how else one refer to me? I am a duke after all, now I shall fancy a meal if quite alright with you. Mrs. Puff: Okay, duke, what will you have? Duke: I shall have... Beans on toast please. Mrs. Puff: All right, one beans on toast coming up!","Psst, Mrs. Puff, SpongeBob again, you better inform the Duke that we don't serve beans on toast."
"Mrs. Puff:  This is just ridiculous! Would you simply explain my duties please?! Mr. Krabs: What are you doing yelling at me customers? The duke here is one of me regulars, and I don't need to explain what happens when you start losing your regularity, do I? Mrs. Puff: Oh dear... Message received, Mr. Krabs. Mr. Krabs: Just don't let it happen again, Puff.","Well, I see you have a little trouble getting in gear there, but you'll be in the fast lane before you know it!  Ah! Here comes another customer! Let's see if you can apply what you learned!"
"Mrs. Puff: Welcome to the Krusty Krab, sir. May I take your order?",Yes!
Frankie Billy: One Krabby Patty please? Mrs. Puff: $1 please. Thank you.,"Good job, Mrs. Puff! Now all that's left is to submit the order to the cook."
Mrs. Puff: One Krabby Patty!,"Oh, Mrs. Puff."
Mrs. Puff: What?,It must have slipped your mind that you need to submit the order in writing as well. It's the only way to ensure maximum clarity.
Mrs. Puff: Fine! Here's your written form!,"One Krabby Patty. Uh, Mrs. Puff?"
Mrs. Puff: What now?,"I can't begin cooking until the bell is rung.  Thank you! Although, a smidge less rigorous next time please?  Order up! You done well so far, student! Now all that's left is to deliver the item to the customer. Be cautious, but swift. Oh, I wouldn't go that way if I were you. It's faster if you go this way, Mrs. P, look out for the barrel!"
Mrs. Puff: I'll give your barr-,"Watch for pedestrians!  Pot hole!  Look out, Mrs. Puff!  Time for evasive action!  And the patty is unscathed! Way to go, Mrs. Puff! Your first satisfied customer! Although, I have to deduct points for that landing though."
Mrs. Puff:  That's it! I don't care anymore! This isn't worth it!  I will not be humiliated any longer!,Don't forget to read the note!
"Mrs. Puff: You! It's because of you I got stuck in this mess! Police: Hold it right there! Well, well, well, if it ain't Mrs. Puff. I saw what you did. Mrs. Puff:  I. You did? Police: Yeah. Mrs. Puff:  Oh please! I didn't mean to do it! I swear! Police: It's too late for swearing Puff! The evidence is right here.  You littered, now you're going to the stony lonesome. Mrs. Puff: Littered? You're absolutely right, officer! Yes! I sure did litter! That's what I did! Police: Yeah, all right. You're under arrest now. Mrs. Puff:  No problem, officer, time by myself in the stoney lonesome is just what I need! Police: Tell it to the judge, Mrs. Puff! Mrs. Puff: 1 day down, 2,528 to go! That's just shy of 4 years without SpongeBob! I'm going to enjoy this! Police: Get up, Puff! The judge says you have to go to traffic school. Mrs. Puff: Oh, wow! A Driver's Education class! This is just how I made a living except without HIM. Delightful!","Good day, class!"
Mrs. Puff: I must be having a nightmare! What's he doing here?!,"Didn't you read the note, Mrs. Puff? Here, I taped it together and saved it just in case.  Dear Mrs. Puff, I'm following in your footsteps and got a job as a Driver's Ed teacher for the summer. ♥ SpongeBob."
Mrs. Puff:  Get me outta here!,Now let's open our Driver's Ed handbooks to Chapter 1.
"Patchy: Let's go!  Hey, kids. Rush hour traffic here in Encino is really bad. A little music should soothe me jangled nerves. At least my in-dash hi-fi still works.  Oh! Me ultra-rare Frampton Comes Alive 8-track destroyed!  And I'm gonna miss the new SpongeBob cartoon if this traffic doesn't move soon!  Who's calling? Yes, Patchy here. Start squawking. Potty:  Hey, Patchy, the new SpongeBob cartoon is about to start. Where are you, brawk? Patchy: Stuck on the 101. Be a dear and record it for me, will you? Potty: Oh, I threw out that old Betamax machine in the garbage. Patchy: You what?! Patchy: You what?! Patchy: You what?! Potty: Oh, calm down, beardy. Patchy: Potty, you know how important this cartoon is to me!  Do you mind? I'm trying to talk to my parrot!  Sorry, Potty. Just some landlubber.  Potty? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Guah. Dropped again.  Curse this traffic!  Oooooh!  Arrrrrrr, home at last. What the...?  Encino... it's gone. No!  You know, kids, this kinda reminds Patchy of an old story. Another story of a lost city. Why don't you check it out? Oh, Encino. Patrick: A beautiful specimen, SpongeBob.","Hurry, Patrick, hurry!  How's it look, buddy? Ready for the old scrapbook?"
"Patrick: More like the scrap-heap.  They never come out right! Oh, well, let's try again.","Okay, Patrick, this one's gonna be a masterpiece."
"Patrick: I'm ready. SpongeBob Bubble: Hi, Patrick! Patrick:  Oh, I missed it again! This darn camera isn't fast enough.","Hold on a second, Patrick! It's not the poor camera's fault you can't get a photo."
Patrick: It's not?,"No, it is the very nature of the fragile bubble."
Patrick: It is?,"Yes, it is, my friend. Allow me to demonstrate.  ♪The sun must set at the end of every day.♪  ♪And the curtain must fall at the end of every play.♪  ♪And every little bubble ever blown must someday pop.♪"
"Patrick: ♪Like presents on Christmas Day, it doesn't seem to stay. Or a cheese soufflé, it doesn't last all day.♪",♪I will try again...♪
Backup Singers: ♪Try again...♪,♪...To blow a bubble...♪
Backup Singers: ♪To blow a bubble...♪,♪...That will last all day.♪
"Backup Singers: ♪To blow a bubble that will last...♪ Patrick: ♪...All day.♪  Um, SpongeBob?","Not now, Patrick. This bubble's gonna break all records!"
Patrick: I hope it doesn't break until we get a little closer to the ground.,Huh?  What have I done!?  We're never gonna get out of here!
Patrick: No!  What happened?,"That's what happened, Patrick."
"Patrick: Whoa, what is it? It looks really old.","Antis, what do think that means, Patrick?"
"Patrick: Antis, Antis...SquarePantis! Probably belonged to your ancient ancestors.  SpongeBob SquarePantis, you must wear the ancient crest of your ancestors, for it is your birthright!","My birthright?! Ow, ooh, ow, ooh, ow! Let's take this to the Bikini Bottom museum, they'll know what it is!"
"Mr. Krabs:  Oo...uh...beautiful day for standing outside a museum doin' nothin'. Security Guard: Whatever you say. Mr. Krabs:  Hello there. Welcome to the museum! That'll be three dollars. Old Lady: But I thought it was free Tuesday. Mr. Krabs: No, no, no. Today's Monday. Otherwise I wouldn't be wearing this I hate Mondays shirt. Old Lady: Good point. Mr. Krabs: Enjoy the artifacts!  Don't stand in one place too long, people might mistake you for one.  SpongeBob!  Hew, that was a close one. Squidward: Neptune's ascension. The only surviving painting from the great lost city of Atlantis. This is just what the doctor ordered, Squiddy. Spending your day studying the Atlantean masters. And best of all, no Sponge...  Oh, would you two watch were you're  What is that? What are you doing with the amulet of Atlantis?",We were just...
Squidward: You're going to steal it!?,"No. Squidward, we'd never..."
"Squidward: This is a new low, even for YOU TWO. Lucky for you, I was here today. Stealing artifacts could land you in the stony loneso... ...ooooome?! You boobs found the missing half of the Atlantean amulet?",What's an Atlantean omelet?
"Squidward: Amulet, not omelet! It's the key to untold riches! Mr. Krabs: Did somebody say untold riches!? Squidward: Yes, Eugene. The streets are lined with gold, and the street lamps are made with diamonds. Mr. Krabs: Diamond light bulbs! I wonder what they make the money out of. Squidward: For reasons unknown, this great city disappeared one day, but no ruins were ever found. All the inventions that you take for granted, were given to us by the Atlanteans. Their advances in art, financial wealth and weaponry were eons ahead of their time!",Why is this bubble painted on the mural?
Squidward: That's just the oldest living bubble.,"The oldest living bubble, alive!  Behold, Patrick-the oldest living bubble!"
"Patrick: This is the most beautiful bubble I've ever seen. Squidward: That's just a painting, you quarter-wit!  Quarter-wit. Ha, it's less than half. The real bubble lives in Atlantis, some dumb old bubble pales in comparison to the arts... Mr. Krabs: Money! Sandy:  And science, don't forget science. What's all the hubbub, boys? Squidward: These two chowderbrains found the missing half to the amulet of Atlantis. Sandy: The Amulet of Atlantis?! Legend says, that when the two halves are joined, the path to Atlantis is opened! What are y'all waitin' for? Let's hitch them two dogies up! Go on, Squidward! Mr. Krabs: Hurry up, Squidward, that money ain't gettin' any younger. Patrick:","Hoo hoo, yeah, hoo hoo hoo!"
"Squidward: The magical path to Atlantis is a van? Mr. Krabs: Nice hot rod flames! Patrick:  What's it doing? Sandy: Well, holly-wally ding-dang-doo. Would ya look at that!? Take a gander, y'all! Squidward: Fabulous decor! Mr. Krabs: Quite a vessel, but who's manning it? Robot: Greetings. Welcome aboard the seaship Atlantis. This is a nonstop trip, so please take a seat, relax, and we'll be on our way. Mr. Krabs: Bet there's some loose change in here!","Ah, so this is what luxury feels like."
"Squidward: Ah, what I wouldn't give for a foot-rub. Robot: Attention, passengers, regretfully, we lack the fuel needed for forward motion. All: What!? Mr. Krabs: Is this some kind of joke? Where's the gas tank? Robot: We Atlanteans find the use of fossil fuels to be counter-intuitive, and have developed an alternative source we call song. Mr. Krabs: Huh? Robot: The engine of this vessel is fueled by song. The more you sing of your desires, the closer to Atlantis you will get. Let us commence singing. Squidward: Does that make any sense?","No, but I'm game for singing any day! ♪Sing? Sing a song? A song of wanting to move along!♪  ♪To a land where all our dre-e.♪   Whoops, sorry. ♪To a land where all our dreeeeeams, can finally come true.♪  ♪A bubble I long for, that so eludes me, but soon enough I will seeeeeeeeeeeeeee...♪"
"Mr. Krabs: ♪Well that's just splendid boy! A land where it rains money! More than you can spend. With fives and tens and fifties and I'll want to be your friend.♪ Plankton: ♪Ha, ha ha. Such a valiant desire - hehehe. The lost weapons of Atlantis - the most advanced of all time. As soon as this dopey song is done, I plan to make them miiiiine!♪ Sandy: ♪Did you all hear something? I can hardly believe that there's a lost city where having smarts is more important-than being pretty!♪  ♪With all their advanced science, and my painfully large mind!♪ Sandy Clone: ♪I bet we can figure out how to make wondrous things, like melons with edible rinds!♪ Squidward: ♪As a connoisseur of fine art, I'm proud to say! I've always seen things in my own special way! 'Art'-lantis, with their glorious aesthetics, I'll copy their style in a while- my art will be prophetic!♪ Patrick: ♪I'm Patrick, I'm Patrick, Patrick-Patrick-Patrick! And I like um, uuuuh,♪  I don't know what I like. Robot: Warning, you have run out of song fuel. All: Squidward: Hey, look, it's Atlantis.",Pretty!
"All: Squidward: You dimwits haven't even been here two minutes and you've already messed up someone's topiary garden. Mr. Krabs: Go on, SpongeBob. Ring the bell.","Ring for the king, huh?"
"Lord Royal Highness: Welcome to Atlantis. I've been expecting you.  Allow me to introduce myself. I am the Lord Royal Highness, but my friends call me LRH.",My friends call me SpongeBob. I'm here to see the oldest living bubble.
"LRH: Yes, of course. Mr. Krabs: What a ripoff! This street ain't gold! LRH: Oh, if it's gold you want, you'll find it in our vault. Mr. Krabs: I'm Eugene. I like money. LRH: Yes, I can see that. Pleasure to meet you. Come, I'll give you the grand tour of our Atlantean fortress. I'm so glad you're all here. Plankton: They're gone. Now to get to those weapons...  Trapped! Okay, what do I have to work with here? What's this? Owners manual!? Looks like I found my escape route!  Ow! LRH: For centuries, we Atlanteans spent, nay, wasted our talents and energy building the most sophisticated weaponry to defend ourselves from invaders. But we abandoned the idea of warfare long ago and now all these weapons gather dust behind this locked door as an example of what must be done if one wishes to live in harmony with all creatures of this, or any, world. Mr. Krabs:  Eh, harmony shmarmony. When do we get to see the treasure?! LRH: But of course, follow me. Mr. Krabs: Comin' through, boys! Plankton: These Atlanteans leave a room full of the most advanced weaponry unguarded? No wonder they got lost.  Oh, my! There will be no one to stop me this time! Patchy: Well, bad news, kids. Encino's still lost.  Oh! But, at least I got me radio fixed!  Well, enjoy the rest of the show. LRH: It is both an honor and a pleasure to welcome you to Atlantis. We haven't had visitors in some time. You see, being in a lost city has certain disadvantages which I digress. Now if you follow me, I'll show you some of our grandest achievements... Mr. Krabs: Squidward! You told me the streets were paved with gold. Now that street light better be a 600 karat diamond or else.  Ah hold still, Squidward. Squidward: You're standing on my neck! LRH: Are you all right? Mr. Krabs: Yeah, but I feel odd.",Mr. Krabs?
"Mr. Krabs: I'd know that smell anywhere.  Me pockets! They be smelling loot! Whoa, whoa, whoa! LRH: Those pockets of yours certainly have a nose for treasure. Mr. Krabs: These are me houndstooth pants. LRH: What you see here is a glimpse of ancient Atlantean history. Long ago we abandoned our obsession with wealth to focus on the pursuit of knowledge. So help yourselves to as much as you pockets can carry! Mr. Krabs: As much as me pockets can carry?! ♪Oh, if I'd only known when I woke up today, I'd have stopped at me tailors along the way, and had ten more pockets put on me pants, 'cause I think I hear a money avalanche!♪  ♪Look at all this cash, hey, look at all this money! I hope me heart can take it!♪ Fish: Clear! Mr. Krabs: ♪I'm alright, sonny! Industrial accidents can make quite a mess. Unless you fall into a money press. Oh, make me into money, Mr. wonderful machine, I always knew that me true color was green! Oh, ever since I was a little kid, I dreamed of such a place, yes I did! With mountains of money, and rivers of cash. And a pool of coins to make a splash! Oh, I'll open up a Krusty Krab with patties made of money. They'd be delicious, and expensive, and taste like golden honey! Money and gold and treasure untold! And all of it for me!♪ LRH: Mr. Krabs, we're off to see the bubble, would you care to join us? Mr. Krabs: Are you kidding?! I've just got here! LRH: Very well then. Off we go. Patrick: SpongeBob, when are we gonna see the bubble?","Patrick, shhh!"
"LRH: Don't dally, lads. You don't wanna be left behind do you?","No, sir."
"Sandy: You know, LRH, I was born with a scientific curiosity and I was wonderin' if I could have a look at some of your scientific achievements? LRH: Of course, Miss Cheeks, here we are, the combination of all our technology. I give you the Atlantean Hall of Science. Sandy: Hoppin' acorns. Look at all this high tech gear!  What does this gizmo do? LRH: It's a biomass converting device. It can take any household object--this comb, for example--and turn it into say, ice cream. Would anyone like to try? Both: Oh me, me, me, me, meee, mee! LRH: Go ahead! Both: Yay!",Comb flavored.
"Sandy: What else can it turn things into? LRH: Actually it can only turn things into ice cream. We haven't worked out that bug yet but I can show you the most amazing/fantastic device created by Atlantean hands. Behold, this grand machine allows the user to shrink down to nano-stature, enabling them to battle germs hand to hand. Sandy: How's it work? LRH: Please have a seat and I'll show you. Now...","Hey, cool."
"Patrick: Where'd SpongeBob go? LRH: Right now, his molecules are being broken down into data which is assembled in this computer and is stored on these tapes, then re-assembled on a much smaller scale...",Someone help me!
"LRH: And finally passes through this tube into this tank which contains every living element known to...  Oh, dear heavens! It looks like our scientists were working on a very aggressive case of the sniffles! He could be in trouble. Patrick: Don't worry, SpongeBob. I'm coming to help you! Squidward: Okay, I've seen enough. Let me out of this thing!  What's going on here? I... Oh no.","Squidward, don't make any sudden movements!"
"Squidward: Help! All: Help, Sandy! Sandy: Sounds like them critters is in trouble!  Hold on, fellas! I'll be there soon, as soon as I send these critters to their doom!  ♪Look out, germs. The end is here, Your days are numbered, 'cause Sandy's here! I'll get these germs, and make 'em pay, with some good old fashioned ka-rah-tay.♪ Hi-yah! ♪If I borrow some elements from the periodic table I can mix up a brew that is sure to disable any virus, bug, or sniffle that steps into my path. And make them feel my mi-cro-sco-pic wrath!♪ Hi-yah! LRH: Well, shall we continue on with the rest of the tour? Sandy: Y'all head out without me. LRH: Well then, good luck. Have fun. We'll see you at dinner.  Your friend Sandy certainly is an excitable one.",Quite.
"Squidward: Somehow I knew I'd get stuck with you yahoo's the longest. Plankton: ♪Oh, what a beautiful sight! Weapons as far as the eye can see. But which one will be right for me? How do I pick? Which one will do the trick? Which is best to guarantee eternal rest? So many weapons! How do I choose? Look at this one with a beautiful fuse! And with this one I couldn't lose. That one will surely give them the blues... And this one here matches my shoes!♪  Come on, Plankton, just pick one and forget about your shoes! Eeny, meeny, minie moe, I pick you, now let's go! Squidward: This stuff is wonderful and all but when are we going to see some real Atlantean culture? LRH: Gentlemen? What is art?","Oh, oh, I know, I know!"
Squidward: I thought you'd never ask! Art is the conscious arrangement of elements in a manner that affects a sense of beauty. LRH: Not even close!  Art is what happens when you learn to dream.  Go ahead. Dream a little.,It looks like my front door!
LRH: Behold! The Hall of Arts! Squidward: Incredible!  The creativity! The artistry!  This painting is so realistic! It looks like you could step straight into it. LRH: And you can!,Whoa!
"Squidward: This place is amazing!  ♪Isn't this great, isn't this neat, I'm a living work of art from my head to my feet! From the very first drawings on walls in caves, art has been what the heart and soul craves! So pick up a brush, a pencil or pen. If you don't like this one, paint it again! From now on please call me Sir Real. I can wait for your impression to congeal. Take it from an undersea renaissance man. I'd even look great on the side of your van! Any way you carve it, I am art and art is me. Ask your mama or your dada to tell you about the uh, schism. Between minimalism and cubism. My personality may be of the cynical type. But I've finally found something that lives up to the hype. I can say honestly and with great certainty, that Atlantis is where I want to spend eternity!♪ Atlantean: Hey, can you not sing? I'm trying to model here. Atlantean Painter: Now hold on Nando. Why don't you take five. I'm really diggin' this squid's form. Squidward: Looks like I'll be here inspiring these Atlantean art makers with my beauty. You guys go on ahead!","Okay. Bye, Squidward!"
LRH: Now this section of town is known for its advances in the science of fondue cooking.,"Excuse me, sir, this tour has been great and all, but uh, can we see the bubble now?"
"LRH: Do excuse me. Most folks don't stay with the tour this long. Of course you can. First, remember this. This bubble is over one million years old. It was brought here when the first Atlanteans colonized this place. Deftly hand carried over billions of light years from our home planet. It is our people's most beloved and treasured ancient relic. But most importantly remember to have fun!",There it is Patrick!
Both: The World's Oldest Living Bubble!,"Look at it, Patrick! So ancient, so floaty. It is the most beautiful, wrinkled up, dusty old bubble I've ever seen!"
"Patrick: Like a delicate air raisin! LRH: Now if you'll excuse me, I have to make ready for tonight's dinner. So I'm just going to leave you two friendly strangers alone with our most beloved ancient and fragile Atlantean relic. Join us in the dining hall when you've had an eye-full!","Thank you, Mr. Lord Royal Highness, sir.  Just look at it, Patrick. Ah the stories this bubble could tell. I just wish we could get a closer look.  Patrick! Get the--"
"Patrick: Oh, golly! Oh, I don't know how much longer I can hold this!","Whoo, that was a close one buddy!"
Patrick: Yeah! We almost popped the most prized possession of all Atlantis-eans!,"Boy, that would have been out greatest blunder without a doubt! But we should go before something bad does happen."
Patrick: Ooh! Let's get a picture for our scrapbooks before we leave.,"Great idea, Patrick!"
Both: Cheese!,"Patrick, did you hear something?"
Patrick:  A sort of a popping sound?,Mmm-hmm.
"LRH: So sorry I'm late. The tour ran a little long. So, how are you all enjoying our beloved city? Squidward: I'm never leaving this place. I've learned more about painting in a few hours here than I did in four years of community college. LRH: Absolutely marvelous! And Eugene, I assume the hall of treasure was everything you hoped for?  And Sandra, how did you find our laboratory? Sandy: They are just amazing! I used your invention room to make this! LRH: Splendid. What does it do? Sandy: I'll show you.  Now I can eat underwater without removing my helmet! This is just the beginning! I should have a cure for the common cold up and running by tomorrow afternoon with your high-tech lab! LRH: SpongeBob, Patrick, tell me. How did you enjoy our rarest and most prized possession?",We have to go back to Bikini Bottom now!
All: Huh? LRH: Ahahaha! Come. Enjoy the best Atlantean cuisine has to offer before you leave. Squidward: What is wrong with you two morons?,We have to go home now!
Squidward: Why would you want to leave a paradise like Atlantis?,"Because, uh, Gary misses me?"
"Patrick: We destroyed your most prized possession! LRH:  Ahahaha! If there's one thing we Atlanteans enjoy, it's a healthy dose of dark humor!","It's not a joke, we burst the bubble!"
"LRH: Haha. That's not the real bubble. It's just a prop for the tourists. This is the real deal. Both: Ooh! LRH:  Summon the Atlantean Royal Guard!  Seize these hostile bubble poppers! Sandy: Don't just stand there! Move! Mr. Krabs: Can't you go any faster Sandy? Sandy: Maybe, if y'all use your feet! Mr. Krabs: Never mind! Just keep doing what you're doing! Sandy: Come on, Patrick!",That tickles!
"Sandy: Hang in there, little buddy! LRH: Don't let them get away! Patchy:  This is the end of patchy. No water, no food, and still no Encino. And here come the vultures the pick me bones!  Shiver me timbers! It's Potty! I wonder what parrot tastes like... Come back here! Uh-oh. Here come the hallucinations.","Patchy, it's me. SpongeBob SquarePants.  Don't lose hope. Everything will be all right when you get to Encino."
"Patchy: But, Encino is gone.","It's not gone, if you believe."
"Patchy: Believe, believe.  Welcome to Encino! It's back!  SpongeBob was right! All I had to do was believe. ♪You got to believe. It was out of sight. You got to believe. I'm back in Encino. You got to believe. Everything's all right. The sky above, and the ground below. Bring me back into Encino. It was lost, some time ago, I'm just glad to be back home. You got to believe. I'm back in Encino. You got to believe. Everything's all right. You got to believe. I'm back in Eencino. You got to believe. Everything's all right.♪ Baby: Ohh! Ohh! ♪You got to believe. I'm back in Encino. You got to believe. Everything's all right. You got to believe. I'm back in Encino. You got to...♪ Patchy:  Ow! Ow! It was all a hallucination. Encino's still gone!  Oooooo, a sandwich. Potty, you're a lifesaver.  Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Oh, Potty, you know I don't like mayo!  Here, you want some? Go on. Take it. You know, I don't like the mayonnaise, you know. You know, when it gets above 130, 135, it gets kind of grody, you know. Plankton:  Cower to me, fools! I have commandeered the most powerful weapon in the Atlantean arsenal! Now bow before the new king of Atlantis and prepare to taste my wrath!  Yeah! Huh? Uh, uh I mean, uh, prepare to taste my wrath!  Oh, you!  Prepare to taste my wrath! Computer: Launch sequence deployed! Patrick: Plankton's wrath tastes like ice cream. Both: Thanks, Plankton! Plankton: Ice cream? It shoots ice cream?!?  Oversized ice cream maker!  Yah! Ouch! Ow! LRH: Look! A talking speck! This talking speck will make a fantastic  replacement for our recently deflated national treasure!   Won't you little fella? Plankton: I'll destroy all of you-- LRH: Amazing! This is so much better than that dusty old bubble! Plankton: You haven't seen the last of me! When I get out of here I'll hunt you all down like a pack of--  Hey! Can't you read?  No flash photography! LRH: So nice to meet you all. I hope you have a safe journey back home. And do come back any time.",So long. And thanks for the tour.
"LRH: Dispose of this quickly. We can't survive anymore visitors like these. Guard:  Sir, yes, sir! LRH: I thought sponges were supposed to make life easier.","♪Goodbye, Atlantis. But we really have to go. Back to a little town, that is the greatest place I know-oh-oh-oh-oh! Back to Bikini Bottom! I can hardly wait!♪"
Mr. Krabs: ♪But what about the treasure? It was really great!♪,♪I love Bikini Bottom! It's where my Gary is!♪
Sandy: ♪But Atlantis had that science stuff at which I was a whiz!♪,♪Soon I'll see the Krusty Krab. Where I'm happily employed!♪
Patrick: ♪But Atlantis had the oldest bubble which I cruelly destroyed!♪,♪You can't beat Bikini Bottom! No place is so nice!♪
"Squidward: ♪But Atlantis was a fabulous, artistic paradise!♪","♪Sorry, Squidward. But it's the end of our Atlantean vacation!♪"
Squidward: ♪And back to my depressing life of quiet desperation.♪,"♪Goodbye, Atlantis. We're Bikini Bottom bound!♪"
Squidward: ♪Please turn this bus around!♪,♪We had our fun!♪
Patrick: ♪We sure did!♪,♪But now we're done.♪
Sandy: ♪And I'm bummed.♪,♪We're on our way!♪
Sandy: ♪Can't we stay?♪,♪So now we say goodbye!♪
Mr. Krabs: I think I'm gonna cry! Patrick: Me too!,"♪Goodbye, Atlantis. We're Bikini Bottom bound. There's no place like home!♪"
Mr. Krabs: There's no place like Atlantis!,♪I can't wait to get home.♪
Mr. Krabs: I don't wanna go back!,♪We're Bikini Bottom bound!♪
Sandy: Please don't make us leave!,♪We're Bikini Bottom bound!♪
Squidward: Stop saying that!,♪I even love the sound!♪
All: ♪Goodbye Atlantis!♪,♪Bikini Bottom is the greatest place to be! I can--♪
"All: ♪Goodbye Atlantis!♪ Patchy: Pretty good story, eh, kids?  I found Encino.  But, it's all tiny. Somebody must have... Norbluckfive's mother: Sorry, sir. Our son Norbluckfive was messing with his shrink-a-tron again. Patchy: No, no, no, no! I want Encino full size again! There's no place like home. There's no place like home. Norbluckfive's mother: Okay, hand it over, Norbluckfive.  We'll fix your town, Beardy. Patchy: Beardy?  Well, Look's like everything's back to the right size, eh, Potty?  Potty? Potty: Burrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! Patchy: Ow! Well, kids, I'm a little busy right now, but, be sure to come back real soon for more of your old pal Patchy. Ow! And more SpongeBob SquarePants. Potty, will you get off of me! Mr. Krabs: Who's ready for some excitement? SpongeBob, Patrick, Sandy, and Pearl: We are! Mr. Krabs: Who is ready for some fun? SpongeBob and Patrick: We are! Mr. Krabs: Who's ready to look at some vacation pictures? Patrick and Sandy: We... huh? Mr. Krabs:  I'm sure you know this charming fellow!  Here's the one that almost got away!  Look at these pile towers of golden green!  Here's how the whole thing started! Squidward: That will be $6.75, please. Mr. Krabs:  Attention! Attention, all employees of the Krusty Krab! Report immediately to the main office! Squidward: Frankie Billy: Hey! What about my change?",You called Mr. Krabs?
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob?  SpongeBob!?,Yes! Please!
"Mr. Krabs: Great! We'll have some fun! Mr. Krabs: Pearl, my dear! Are you all packed and ready to go? Pearl: You bet your bottom dollar! Mr. Krabs: Me bottom dollar? Why I never do that! Pearl:  It's just an expression daddy. I just mean I'm really excited!  Gasp!",La la la la la la la la la!
Pearl: Daddy! One of your employees is in the back seat!,🎵Going on vacation with Mr. Krabs! Going on vacation with his daughter Pearl! Going on vacation with the whole Krabs clan! La la la la la la!🎵 I'm a vaaacation man!  Hey travel buddies!
Pearl: Daddy! I thought this was supposed to be OUR family vacation!? Mr. Krabs: Eh... It still is! SpongeBob's... like a son to me! Plus he'll pay a top dollar to tag along.,Hi Pearl! Looks like you and I get to spend some quality time together!
"Pearl: You know, SpongeBob. We got an old family tradition of having our guests ride on the floor with the luggage until we leave town!",I will happily honor this family tradition.
Mr. Krabs: See? You two are already having fun together! Squidward:   And there they go! Two whole days of no work and no SpongeBob! This is almost too good to be true! Nothing can possibly go wrong! Patrick:  Ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!,Ow!
"Mr. Krabs: Did you hear something? Pearl: Just the sound of this vacation dying! Mr. Krabs: Oh, cheer up pumpkin puss! We're almost there!","Um, is time to come up yet?"
"Pearl: Sure, why not? Join the funeral. Super Mega Mall World? Is that where we going? Mr. Krabs: Noooo! No. The place we are going is much better!","Um, Mr. Krabs? Think we could make a bathroom stop?"
"Mr. Krabs: But we are making such great time! Try to hold it a little longer lad! Pearl: Holly molly! We're going to Planet Rollercoaster!  But, daddy? W-why aren't we stopping? Mr. Krabs:  The place we are going is 100 times better than that old amusement park!",Is it Bathroom Land? 'Cause I could really use a bathroom right now!
"Mr. Krabs:  Bathroom Land! Oh, SpongeBob! You kill me! Pearl: Yeah! He's a real chuckle factory. Mr. Krabs:  Ok, kids! We're just about there! Just over that hill, is the greatest sight in the sea! Now close your eyes for a big surprise! Pearl:  Teenage Boy Museum! Teenage Boy Museum!",Bathroom! Bathroom!
"Mr. Krabs:  Ok! We're here! You can open your eyes now! Pearl:  Yay! The Teenage Boy Museum!  It was right there! Mr. Krabs: Oh... that's okay, honey. We weren't going there anyway. That's where we're going! Pearl: Gasp! Mr. Krabs: It's the Bikini Bottom Mint! Where they make all of the money! Have you ever seen anything so beautiful in all of your life? Mr. Krabs: Well, laddy! Looks like it's just you and me! And of course, the Mint! Mr. Krabs: Is this the most exciting day in you life?",Not really. Bill?
"Bill: and yes... I am aware of the hilarious irony between my name and my job. Now, I'll be your tour guide for today. This tour will take you through the entire money process. Mr. Krabs: You hear that, boy?  The entire money making... process!","Yeah, I...  ...sure did sir!"
Bill:  This just to your right is the first part of the dollar making process.  Where very special sheets of paper are prepped for... Mr. Krabs: Guah guah guah guah guah!,"Uh, Mr. Krabs? Everyone is staring at us.  Sir, get a hold of yourself! It's just paper!"
"Mr. Krabs: Just paper? That's like saying the ocean is just water! Or, or the Krabby Patty's just a... a... a sandwich! Bill: Ahem... Mr. Krabs: Oh!  Uh... uh... Bill:  And in this area here to my left, we see the process in which the sheets of silver are pressed into...  ...shiny blank coins which are collected in back of one million pieces for the coining press. Mr. Krabs: Wuh wuh wuh... o-o-one million shiny pieces of...  silver coins? Bill: They call...",Uh oh! I thought this might happen!
Mr. Krabs: Thanks SpongeBob!,Anytime sir! Oh! The tour's leaving without us!
Bill:,"We better catch up with them before we miss something, right Mr. Krabs?  Gasp!   Mr. Krabs!"
Mr. Krabs: He he he he!,"I'm not sure how I feel about this sudden change!  Good one, huh, Mr. Krabs? AHHH!  Watch out, Mr. Krabs!"
Mr. Krabs:  Hello! My name is Eugene! What's yours?  Do you believe in love at first sight?,Phew... that was close.
"Mr. Krabs: I'd say! I almost had that quarter's phone number! Mr. Krabs: Pretty neat, huh, boy? That's where they...  ...Destroy money!? No!    Noo! Why? Why?","It's okay, sir. I'm sure I..."
Mr. Krabs:,Wah oh! 
Mr. Krabs:,"Mr. Krabs! It's okay!  The shredded money is recycled and turned into brand, new money! See?"
Mr. Krabs: It's a miracle!,Yay!
"Bill:  That is it! I have had enough of your nonsense! Guards, show these good for nothing dawdlers out right now...  Oh, my.  Angry thieving criminals aren't part of this tour. Uh, take whatever you want! Skinny Robber: Take care of them! Muscular Robber: No problem, boss! Mr. Krabs:  Oh no you don't! You filthy dollar wrestler!",That didn't work at all!
"Muscular Robber: Grrrr... Mr. Krabs: Grrrr... Mr. Krabs: Good work, boy!","You, too, sir!"
"Bill:  clearly I  misjudged you are both brave citizens and for that, on behalf of the mint I would like to present you both brand new extremely fine limited-run dollar bills with your faces on them. SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs: Oooooo... Bill:",Wow! It's-
"Mr. Krabs:  Mine! I haven't charged you yet for tagging along on me vacation! Pearl: (takes dollars from Mr. Krabs) And I haven't charged you yet for taking me on this terrible vacation. Here's the two dollars I was short on those shoes. I must've maxed out daddy's credit card. (give dollars to clerk, and takes shoes) Yay, shoes! Mr. Krabs:  Shoes?",Oh no...
"Mr. Krabs: Mr. Krabs: And how was your meal today, ma'am? Sweet Old Lady: Oh, delicious. I wish I could tell everyone how great my meal was. Mr. Krabs: Well, you're more than welcome to go to each table and tell them about your satisfactory experience. Sweet Old Lady: I don't really have time to do that. Perhaps I will mention it in my will. Mr. Krabs: Oh, that's the way you want it.",Wait! I have an idea!
Mr. Krabs: Hold on a second! That's me cork board! It's for all me... memos.,"Mr. Krabs, think of it now as a bulletin board for the community. A place where a yearning populous can express themselves freely."
"Ivy (gray): My Krusty Krab meal was delicious! I cannot recommend it enough! Huh. Well, I was just gonna loiter, but now I think I'll get a Krabby Patty. Mr. Krabs: Hey, everybody! Our community bulletin board is here! Tell your friends and come on down and use it for the good of me business! Me wallet! Me... I mean the community.",Community!
"Pearl: Oh, I really hope people like it! Voice #1: Great! Voice #2: Super good! Voice #3: Number 1 with a star!","See, Mr. Krabs? The community bulletin board is a good thing."
Mr. Krabs: Yes. Yes it is. It's bringing me closer to my favorite part of the community. Their money!,Let's see what other nice people are saying.
Dave: What are you shrieking about?,Nothing! I just love to shriek!
"Mr. Krabs: Step aside, boy! You're blocking me money-makin' bulletin board! Dave: When I eat at the Krusty Krab, all I get is a dark, empty feeling inside! P-Star7. Ouch! Mr. Krabs:  Not on my bulletin board! Surfer Fish: Whoa, whoa, dude! What's with the censorship? The community bulletin board is for everybody. You can't just take somethin' down because you think it's bogus.","Mr. Krabs, Surfer Fish is right. The board is sacred and it must be respected. Dear P-Star7, I'm so sorry you had a less than stellar experience at the Krusty Krab and we promise to do better in future. Signed, Fry-Banshee139. Crisis averted. Huh? Crisis averted? More like crisis dumb-blurted. Signed, Guybesideu3? Huh?  Dumb-blurted! LOL!?, What's the Point?, I could make a better patty out of mud?! Where are all these notes coming from?"
"Mr. Krabs: Pencils, paper! Pencils, paper! Martin: I want to express the worst side of myself! Mr. Krabs: Heh, heh, heh. Why not? And don't forget to feed your hatred with a selection from our menu! Squidward: Huh?  Hmm.",If only I could figure out who this P-Star7 is.
"Patrick:  Hello! Nat Peterson: P-Star7 is my new hero. Patrick: Hey, that's me! Harold: Yeah, right. Fred: He really knows how to complain. Patrick: But I wasn't com... Unnamed customer: P-Star7 is cool because he's anonymous. Patrick:  Oh, yeah. He's cool because He's a nanny-mouse. Bubble Bass: You may not like what P-Star7 has to say, but you have to agree that he keeps it real. He's a true hero for our troubled times.","Well, I'll just have to make my Krabby Patties better so P-Star7 will like 'em. No, it's not round enough. Uh, maybe just a little off the edge here. No, now the other side is wobbly. I'll just even it up a little here. Now it's smaller than that one! Hey, Squidward!"
Squidward: Yes?,Has P-Star7 responded to my nice note yet?
"Squidward: Oh, he responded hours ago.","Well, why didn't you tell me?"
Squidward: Because I don't care.,"That's for me! Fry-Banshee139, more like Cry-Baby139! Cordially, P-Star7."
Bubble Bass: His vituperative hyperbole has certainly diminished your credibility.,"Oh, why did you have to say that?"
"Bubble Bass: You're right. I should have put it on the bulletin board instead.  Signed, HandsomeLad42.","You may be handsome, HandsomeLad42, but you're very mean!"
"Mr. Krabs:  Alright, that's a good one. Heh, heh. Hey, you know all this note-writing must be making you folks hungry. We have a short line at the register. Sheldon: I brought a bag lunch. Mr. Krabs: What? Wait a second. None of you bulletin board browsers are buying me patties! Medley Fishbowl: Why would we buy food from a place that quote  Smells like stinky armpits? Mr. Krabs: What? Mr. Krabs: That's not true! Medley Fishbowl: Hey, it's on the board. Bubble Bass: And the board is never wrong. Mr. Krabs: And does anyone need to buy a pen? Mr. Krabs: How about some paper? Patrick: What's wrong?",It's this P-Star7. He's been saying terrible things about me and the Krusty Krab.
"Patrick: Oh, I think they were all good things.",Not good. He said that the Krusty Krab made him feel dark and empty inside.
"Patrick: Well, he probably meant his stomach was dark and empty and he was hungry for more.",No. A master of acid-wit like P-Star7 would never express himself so clumsily. He called me Cry-Baby139.
Patrick:  You were Fry-Banshee?!,Yeah.
"Patrick: Well, maybe he just thought it was funny. And... and when he said that Krabby Patties taste like old baseball gloves...",He said that?!
"Patrick: Oh, not yet! Mr. Krabs:  Tastes like old baseball gloves, do they? Squidward:  I don't know who this P-Star7 is, but he's brilliant! Mr. Krabs: He's a diabolical genius! That's what he is! Patrick:  No, I'm not.","Mr. Krabs, the grill's gone cold."
"Mr. Krabs: Nobody's orderin', son. It's that cursed cork board! I'm gonna take it down! It's nothing but trouble!",You can't Mr. Krabs! It's for the community! I'll still believe in the power of the bulletin board!
"Sandals:  You smell! Gus:  One of your eyes is too big! Bubble Bass:  Close your mouth when you eat!? Pearl: Oh!  This picture looks like it was drawn by a Brine Shrimp! Oh, Daddy! Squidward: Huh?  Squidward Tentacles should never be allowed behind a cash register. P-Star7? Oh, that is it! Why can't any of these yokels understand I'm working here? Ironically! Bubble Bass: Oh, sure you are. P-Star7 has your number alright. Squidward: I'm gonna give you a number, of contusions!","People, can't you see what's happened? This bulletin board has become a bullying board!"
"Mr. Krabs: Okay, that's it! Everybody out!","Oh, P-Star7 is bringing out the worst in everybody. I'd like to send him a message."
Mr. Krabs: We'll teach him a lesson he'll never forget!,A lesson in polite manners.
"Squidward: Or we could push him off a cliff. Mr. Krabs: Oh, excellent option, Mr. Squidward.","We have to find out who this P-Star7 is! Gentlemen, I propose a stakeout! Pineapple1 to Maddaddy. Come in, Maddaddy."
"Mr. Krabs:  This is Maddaddy. I read you, Pineapple1. Any movement?","Negatory. Pineapple1 to Delicate Flower. Come in, Delicate Flower."
Squidward:  I AM NOT ANSWERING TO DELICATE FLOWER! Mr. Krabs: Shh. Maintain radio silence. Wait a minute. I see something.,"So that's what happens to the ketchup stains. Surprise, P-Star7!"
"SpongeBob, Mr. Krabs, and Squidward: Patrick?! Mr. Krabs:  I'll tear ya to pieces!","Patrick, you're P-Star7?"
"Patrick: Well, that's what my last note was about, SpongeBob. I was upset that people take everything I say the wrong way.","So, when you said that Krabby Patties reminded you of old baseball gloves, you really meant that they gave you the feeling of your carefree youth."
"Patrick: Yeah, I think.","You hear that, boardy? It wasn't you. It was never you. We were the monsters all along."
"Mr. Krabs: Well, I'm still angry and I need somethin' to calm me down! Ooh!  This knittin' circle oughta do the trick. And you all are joining me! Especially you, Delicate Flower. Squidward:  Oh, ratfish!",Pineapple1 to Knitmama. Can I needle you for a little more yarn?
"Squidward: Oh, brother.  Please bring back P-Star7. Johnny Elaine: This is a Bikini Bottom News special report.  Perch? Perch Perkins: Perch Perkins here at the Bikini Bottom power plant, where the evil supervillain known as the Dirty Bubble has finally been cornered by police! Dirty Bubble: Stand back, coppers, and cease your attack, or I'll make your police chief my late night snack! Police chief: Do what he says! Perch Perkins:  Will the grime of this evil soap globe wash over our fair city? Or will the law force him to clean up his act? Dirty Bubble:  Or will he choose door number three, and devour a newsman live on TV? Officer Slugfish: Drop him, airhead! Perch Perkins: Yipe! Officer Johnson:  I got him! Dirty Bubble: Remember this face and remember it well, so you'll recognize me when I see you in— Police chief: Jail! Johnny: Six months later... Clean Bubble: Thank you, warden. I feel like a new bubble. Warden: Remember, Bubble, keep it clean, or you'll get mean. Clean Bubble: Thank you, warden. I promise I won't let you down! Warden:  Here's the address of your new job. Clean Bubble: I'll make you proud, warden. Stay clean or you'll get mean. A new life. No more dirt, and no more wrong turns.  The Krusty Krab. Hm, this must be the place!  Oh, I can't thank you enough for this job, Mr. Krabs. What would you like me to do?  Greet people at the door? Serve the food? Mr. Krabs: Oh, no. I've got a special job that need someone with your special talents. You're on dirty dish detail. Clean Bubble:  D-d-d-d-dirty dishes? Wait, couldn't I just work the cash register or something? Mr. Krabs: Listen, I hired a dish-washing bubble to save money on soap, and I want these plates sparkling by lunchtime, savvy? Clean Bubble: Just call me Sparkles. Clean Bubble:  Stay clean, or you'll get mean. Stay clean, or you'll get mean. Clean Bubble: Ah?","Yeah.  Brr! Is there a blizzard coming in, 'cause I've got a cold front."
Clean Bubble:,"Oh, hi! I didn't see you there, you must be the new dishwasher. Welcome aboard! I'm SpongeBob."
"Clean Bubble: Hi, SpongeBob, I'm, uh... DB, uh... DB.","Oh, we're gonna have so much fun, DB.  We'll be daily pallies! Whoops.  Back to work!"
"Clean Bubble:  Keep it clean, or you'll get mean.  Keep it clean, or you'll get mean! Clean Bubble: Huh. Hey, I did it! I got dirty and I didn't turn evil! Oh, I must be cured! Clean Bubble: Wiping up filth, wiping clean every crack! Dirty Bubble: I'm the Dirty Bubble, and, baby, I'm back!","Oh, what can I get you, Dirty Bubble?"
Dirty Bubble:,"Dirty Bubble! Where's that nice DB? What did you do to him, you super filthy supervillain?"
Dirty Bubble:,"What did you do with DB? DB is short for Dirty Bubble, isn't it?"
"Clean Bubble: Yes, SpongeBob, it's me. I'm trying to change my evil ways and stay clean.","Wow, a supervillain intervention! I'll help you, DB. I'll make sure you stay squeaky clean and dirt-free!"
"Mr. Krabs:  Attention, Mr. Bubble, I've got another job for ya! Mr. Krabs: Now, this new job is very exclusive and very French. Clean Bubble: Hmm? Ooh-la-la! Mr. Krabs:  Eau de Toilette! Clean Bubble:  Oh, sacre pee-yew! Mr. Krabs:  Make it sparkle!","Okay, he's gone. Don't worry about those toilets, DB.  I will clean them for you. Taupe sweet, mon ami."
"Clean Bubble: Dirt, dirt! Beautiful dirt!",Zut alors!  DB?  Incoming!
"Dirty Bubble: Fred: ' Dirty Bubble: Pow! Hold onto your certy, here comes the dirty! Clean Bubble: Thanks for keeping me clean, SpongeBob!","Don't worry, DB. We just needed to wash away that stinkin' thinkin'!"
"Elaine: For weeks, SpongeBob worked with DB to stay clean and good! Clean Bubble:  Enjoy those patties!","Well, DB, looks like you're cured. You haven't been dirty in weeks!"
"Clean Bubble: Thanks to you, SpongeBob, I'll never be dirty again! Patrick: Speaking of dirty...  Ew. Dirty Bubble:  You want me clean, but I ain't willing! I've gotta be me, by being a villain! Patrick:  Aww... That's nice. He found his rainbow!",Uh-oh.
"Elaine: The Dirty Bubble has been seen everywhere, defiling dozens of decent denizens with dirty deeds! Girl and boy: Clean? Pirate: So I said to the scalawag, Listen here, you– Chubby sailor: It's time to have tea and cakes! Sailor #1: Get him! Family of three: Yay! Family of three:  Aww. Old teacher: Yes, Billy, 2 plus 2 still equals 4. Old teacher:  Rumpy rumpkins. Perch Perkins: Breaking news, the Dirty Bubble just wiped all the teacher's dirty looks right off their faces! Who will be next? Dirty Bubble:  No more pimples, no more bumps, no more news guy's dirty looks! Perch Perkins: Hello– Urrgh, that got in my mouth! Dirty Bubble:  Oh!","Sorry, old chum, but from now on, you're gonna have to stay clean for good!"
"Dirty Bubble: Be gone, hygiene. I'm too big to stay clean!", 
Dirty Bubble:,"It's on, now!"
Dirty Bubble:,"Help, help, call the cops, call Mr. Krabs, call my mommy!"
"Dirty Bubble: I think, for dessert, I'll eat more dirt!","Not Goo Lagoon! Thank you, my beloved pet Gary, thank you, my big pineapple, and my toolshed, and my mailbox, and Patrick!  Uh, what? Wow. Sometimes I just forget how absorbent I am."
"Dirty Bubble: Wait, what? Ow, just... stop spinning, you sponge! You're stealing my grunge!  Stop that rhyme! Dirty Bubble:  I may be a squirt, but I'm still full of dirt!","Aww, little mini DB is so cute!"
Lady officer: We got him!,"Every time I wash dishes, I will think of you."
"Dirty Bubble: Hmph. Every time I have nightmares, I'll think of you, too! Lady officer: Thank you, citizen. We'll take it from here.","It was a dirty job, but somebody had to do it. Just kidding!"
Police officers:  Gesundheit!,Thank you!  You got some schmutz under there.
"Mr. Krabs: Attention! Attention! All Krusty Krew employees, attention!  Get the anchors out of your pants and report to me office!  That will be all.  I have an important announcement to make.",Woo! Hooray!  The new spatulas are here!
"Mr. Krabs:  Sit down, boy! There's no new spatulers! Squidward:  How disappointing. Mr. Krabs: You may know me daughter Pearl. She's growing up fast.  It seems like it was just yesterday I was teaching her how to breach. Me mammalian angel. Oh...  Anyway, uh, so she's going to be working here during her summer vacation. She's got a lot of fresh ideas to bring in some hungry customers! Pearl:  Hello? Daddy? Mr. Krabs: Thar she blows! Squidward: SpongeBob, do you realize what this means?",No new spatulas?
"Squidward: No! It means some bratty teenager's coming in here to tell us what to do. We can't have that! We have seniority, right?",Right!
"Squidward: So, we'll work together to protect our pathetic positions.","Okey-dokey, Squidward. And then we'll get those new spatulas!"
"Mr. Krabs:  All right, men.  Say hello to me Pearl.","Hello, pole."
"Pearl:  Hi, guys. Mr. Krabs: It makes me jolly as a roger to have you finally aboard the family business! Pearl: Great, dad, because I have so many new ideas. Mr. Krabs:  I can smell the money already! I'll be in me office if you need me!",What's in the box?
Pearl: It's a surprise.,I like surprises.
"Pearl: Great, then close your eyes.",I'm ready!
"Squidward: Well, I like it so far. Pearl:  Ta-da...  It's the new Krusty Krew uniform. I designed it myself. Squidward: Okay, this is it, SpongeBob. Now tell her how you really feel about that uniform.","Okay, Squidward.  Pearl... this is the greatest uniform ever!"
"Squidward: Fish paste. Pearl: Oh, SpongeBob, you look so adorable. I could just eat you up.","Sorry, Pearl, but this item's not on the menu!"
"Squidward: Well, I didn't think it was possible, SpongeBob, but you look even more ridiculous than usual. Pearl: Don't feel jealous, Uncle Squiddy. I made one for you, too. Squidward: Don't bother! Only a fool would wear that! Mr. Krabs:  Avast, ye shipmates! Don't these just shiver your timbers?  Get that suit on, sailor. It's already been paid for. Squidward:  Rage. Fury. Irritation. Humiliation. Pearl: Squidward is such a barnacle.",A stick in the sand.
"Pearl: But not you, SpongeBob. You are full of style.",Me? Really?
"Pearl: Totally, S.B. You ooze fashion. And I've got some completely coral concepts for this old joint, and I'm going to need someone with your kind of talent to help me.","Well, I have been trying to get Mr. Krabs to make a few changes around here."
"Pearl: Why, with my girlish instincts and your um... sponginess,  we'll turn this worn-out lunch wagon into a teenage paradise. Pearl:  SpongeBob, what do you like better? The Kutie Krab or the Kooky Krab? Squidward:  For what, dare I ask? Pearl: The new name for our new look. I mean, The Krusty Krab has got to go. Who wants to eat at a place they think is crusty? Bleh! Squidward: Well, sure it's a terrible name, but this is a terrible place. Therefore, the name should be left alone. Right, SpongeBob?",I got it! How about The Khaotic Krab?
Pearl: Hmm... how about The Kissy Krab?,The King Krab?
Pearl:  The Kandy Krab!,The Kool Krab.  Or the Kowboy Krab!  The Kurly Krab.  The Kreepy Krab.  The Killer Krab!
Pearl:  Aaah! No!,"You're right, too scary."
"SpongeBob and Pearl: The Kuddly Krab! Millie: It's a shame old man Krabs sold the Krusty Krab. Fred: That's a darn shame. Hey, lady! Do you know where we can get something to eat around here? Squidward: That's it! I quit! Shelia: Finally! A cool place for teens to just, you know, hang out!","Pearl, you're a genius. All these young, hip new customers. Phooey on Squidward. He can't keep up with the times. You're a true visionary, Pearl."
"Pearl: Thank you, SpongeBob. I do have 20/20 vision.","Well, hip people have to eat, too. Back to the grill.  The customers may be hot, but my grill is hotter."
"Pearl:  SpongeBob, order up!",Two... sa-lads. Never heard of it. I got to stay hip. I don't want to end up like silly old Squidward. But what in the name of Davy Jones' locker is a  sa-lad?  Here you go. Two sa-lads.
"Pearl: Ew, gross. Those aren't salads. Take those back. Remove the bun, the patty and the condiments.",But that just leaves the lettuce and the tomato.
Pearl: Exactly.,"All right.  Okay, no buns. That's hip.  No patties,  happenin.'  Oh, yeah, that's definitely the coolest meal I've ever saw."
Nazz: This is so cool!,Two salads.  That was awful. I hope I never have to tear apart a perfectly good Krabby Patty ever again. I don't think my heart can take it.  Where's the grill?
"Pearl: Come on, SpongeBob, you're a hip guy. You know that fried foods are O-U-T, out!",Uh... right on.
Pearl: Check out this new menu I came up with.,Salad and tea. But where are the Krabby Patties?
"Pearl: Silly, those aren't hip. And you won't be needing that thing anymore.  I've got something more fun for you to do anyway. Gus: Hey, buddy, you need a ride? I was just on my way to the big doofus convention!","This is humiliating. I'm a fry cook, darn it! You can take away my spatula, but when you take away my dignity, that's when I get mad! I'm going to march right up to Mr. Krabs' office and tell him this is just too much!  Okay, SpongeBob, you can do this. Come on...  Mr. Krabs, can I talk to you?"
"Mr. Krabs: Come on in, me boy! Have a seat.","Thanks, Mr. Krabs."
Mr. Krabs: Don't you just love me new office? Pearly designed it for me.,"Mr. Krabs, um, I think we have a problem."
Mr. Krabs: Isn't that the neatest $40 chair you ever sat in?,"Sure, Mr. Krabs, but I've got some bad news."
Mr. Krabs: How about my cuddly executive buddy?  Reduces stress for only five easy payments of $9.95.,"Mr. Krabs, Pearl is ruining the Krusty Krab!"
"Mr. Krabs: What?! Why, Pearl is saving the Krusty Krab! I mean, the Kuddly Krab.  What would we do without these beautiful $20 sea unicorn wall hangers?  How could we ever survive without these $35 heart lights? How could we go on without a sea fern on every last table?!  It's hip! It's coral! It's... it's losing money!  Oh, you're right, SpongeBob. But I can't fire me pride and joy, it'll break her fragile little heart! What am I going to do?","There, there, Mr. Krabs. I'm sure there's another way."
"Mr. Krabs: That's it, boy!",What's it?
Mr. Krabs: You could fire her! It's okay if she hates you.,"That's not what I said, sir."
"Mr. Krabs: Great then, it's all settled: you fire Pearly, I'll wait in me office. Pearl: Totally rude, SpongeBob.","Pearl, can I see to you in the kitchen for a second?"
"Pearl: Sure, SpongeBob.","How am I going to break it to her? I've never fired anyone before. I just got to say it. Pearl, you're fired! Okay, here it goes."
"Pearl:  Oh, SpongeBob! Pearl: I can't take it anymore! Nothing I do is working!","Sure it is, Pearl. Look at all the hip, young people eating sa-lads!"
"Pearl: No, don't you get it?! I've been trying to get fired since day one! I was only pretending to like this place to please Daddy. This job is cutting majorly into my social life. Oh, SpongeBob, what should I do?",I got it! I can pretend to  fire you. I'll take the heat from old man Krabs later.
"Pearl:  Gosh, you'd really do that for me? You're a great pal, SpongeBob. How can I ever thank you?!",Stop trying to break me in half?
"Pearl:  Deal.  Oh, boy!","Okay, Pearl. We've got to make this convincing.  Pearl, I need to have a word with you!"
"Mr. Krabs: Oh no, here it goes! I don't know if I can bear to listen.","It's not that you haven't done a good job around here, it's just that..."
"Mr. Krabs:  Don't be too hard on her, now. Why does it have to be this way?  It's for the best.","Well, we feel it might be in everybody's best interest if..."
"Mr. Krabs: I can't let him do this!  Get on with it, SpongeBob!","Pearl, you're fired."
"Pearl: Thanks, SpongeBob.  Come on, gang, the mall awaits!","Hey, Mr. Krabs, I did it!"
"Mr. Krabs:  Oh, Pearly...  Is that a $20?  Oh, SpongeBob, how could I have done such a thing to me own flesh and blood?","There, there, Mr. Krabs. Pearl took it just fine, in fact, she seemed sort of happy."
Mr. Krabs: Really?,She's off to bigger and better things.
"Mr. Krabs: That's me old girl; tough as nails, just like her old man!  But how am I gonna get my money back for all this stuff?","Isn't this great, Gary? And it only cost me one year's salary!"
"Gary:  Meow? Unnamed woman: Grandma! No! Plankton:  Get her, Grandma!  I'm the ghost of Plankton! Wooo!  Hey, that gives me an idea.  Hmm, if I were a ghost, I could walk right through the walls of the Krusty Krab and take the Krabby Patty secret formula! Karen:  Ah! All right, that's it! You ruined another movie night with your secret formula garbage.  I'm pulling the plug. Plankton:  Ah. Let's see. Now all I need to do is invent a...  Ghost extracting machine! Plankton:  I look like I just saw a ghost.  Success!  You gotta give up the ghost if you wanna make toast.  What?!  No, no, no! Stupid ghost hands!  What?  What's so funny? Stupid ghost! Flying Dutchman: You are, that's what. You can't just float in on your first day and pick things up.  Here you go.  Oh, grab it.  Grab it! Get it! Plankton: I can't grab it! Flying Dutchman: I like you, squirt. I got a soft spot in me heart of thieves  I can teach you how to pick things up. Plankton:  I love you. Flying Dutchman: But first, you need to learn the basics of being a ghost. Flying Dutchman: First lesson... Shape-shifting.  Shape-shifting is one of the easiest things a ghost can do. You just have to think of a horrible thing and poof!  You become it! Flying Dutchman:  Now, you try. Plankton: I did it! Flying Dutchman:  That's not horrible! What were you thinking?!  Bad ghost! Bad! Flying Dutchman: Hmm. Now, that's horrible! Plankton: Now, can you teach me how to pick things up? Flying Dutchman: Not yet.  Next lesson, scaring.  Pay close attention, squirt. This is how you scare someone. Plankton: Okay, my turn!  Shh. Someone's coming.  Watch me scare this dummy real good. Flying Dutchman: Well, you scared yourself. I guess that counts.  Next lesson.  Haunting houses.  All right, pupil, it's time to apply all you've learned and frighten this guy's legs off. Plankton: With pleasure. Squidward:  Who's there? Ohh, is that you, SpongeBob? Flying Dutchman:  Oooh. Monster mouth with a bucket of ghost goo—very good marks.  Nice haunt, swabby! Squidward:  Oh, what a terrible nightmare. Oh, thanks for being here, Clarry. You'll keep the monsters away. Plankton: Give me that! Squidward: Clarry! Plankton: Hey, I picked something up! I can pick things up! Flying Dutchman: Look at you. You skipped ahead to the last lesson! Plankton: It's okay. You don't have to— Flying Dutchman: Last lesson! How to pick things up.  As you discovered, to pick things up, you gotta get  really angry! Plankton: Why didn't you say that before in the first place, moron?! Flying Dutchman: I have nothing left to teach you. Plankton: Oh, yeah? Flying Dutchman:  My boy. Plankton: Oh, I'm really angry! Here we go!  Yup!  Blasted bottle! It's always something!  What? Flying Dutchman: Guess you didn't think that one through all the way, did ya? Plankton: Dead jerk.  Well, I'm calling it. This ghost racket is for the birds. I'm going back to my body where I belong. Hmph!  Huh? I don't remember leaving the lights on.  Wha—huh?!  Yeesh. You can't leave your own carcass alone for ten minutes in this town! Karen: And now, if anyone has anything nice to say about Sheldon, this would be the time.","Um, Plankton was small and... And green and loud!"
"Karen:  All right, come on. It's okay. Plankton: Yeesh. This is the worst funeral of mine I've ever been to.  But watch these idiots scream when I get back into my body and jump out of that coffin. Flying Dutchman:  Ya can't go back in your body now. You're dead, ya dodo! Plankton: I'm not dead. I'm just a temporary ghost. My body is in suspended animation, that's all. Flying Dutchman:  You mean, this is an empty vessel? I haven't possessed a body in years! Plankton: You can't do that! That's my body! Flying Dutchman: Not anymore!  Rarg! I'm alive! It's great to be back! Plankton: No! Flying Dutchman:  Ta-da!",Plankton's alive? Hooray!
"Karen:  I knew it! Incidental 67: He's alive?! Old Man Jenkins: Let's squash him! Flying Dutchman:  ♪Dee, dee, dee, dee, da, da, dee, dee, dee, da!♪  Wuh-oh.  Eh? Reowr? Plankton: Oh! I can't watch them do that to me! Flying Dutchman:  Here! Take it!  Those people are angry. Whew! I never thought I'd say this, but I'd rather be a dead me than an alive you. Bye! Plankton:  My body feels great! What Zit Tooya: There he is! Plankton:  Hey, everybody.  Uh, who wants to hear a ghost story, huh?  Anyone?  You know something?  Ooh! It's great to be alive.  Ouch!  Ha, ha! Flying Dutchman: The end!","I know I've said this 90 times already but... ♪I love Krabby Patties I think that they are swell. They are the best, there's no contest, and now I'm going to yell.♪ Whew!  ♪I love Krabby Patties! I think they're swell. They're so neat, and quite a treat, and how I love the way they smell... La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la.♪"
Squidward:  I knew I shouldn't have gotten out of bed today.,♪La la la la laaaaaaa... la la la la!♪
"Mr. Krabs: Hello, and welcome one, and all your money to ye olde Krusty Krabbie! Ms. Priss: Come along, sisters. Pay no mind to this crimson abomination! Squidward: Ms. Priss: Greetings. Although your establishment seems repugnant and foul in nature, it seems not to offend our sensitivities. It is for that reason, plus the fact that we have been stuck on a tour bus for several days, that my sisters and I would like to eat something here. Squidward: Okay. But first, let me call the mortician and tell him his uniform's been stolen.  Clothing zinger! Mr. Krabs: Squidward! These wretched hags-I mean, these little lovely ladies-are obviously here to eat. So let's sell 'em- I mean, serve them some delicious Krabby Patties! Ms. Priss: Well, Mr...um... Mr. Krabs:  Krabs, my lady. Ms. Priss: Mr. Krabs, you know the basic rules of behaving like a civilized bottom feeder. Perhaps your restaurant isn't quite the hive of degenerates it appears to be, and we had you figured all wrong. Mr. Krabs: 'Course ya did, because you're about to find out. SpongeBob!","♪Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah... I like Krabby Patties! I think they're swell.  I like Krabby Patties, can you not tell?  Krabby Patties, Krabby Patties.  They're so neat.  La la la la la. Sweet to eat.  La la la la la. Really neat. Sweet to eat.  Treat that's neat.  Sweet treat sweet treat.  La la la la la la la la laaaaaaaa!♪"
"Ms. Priss:  Look at this wild hooligan! Running amok, singing, dancing. It's... It's shameless.  Disgusting. Avert your eyes.  Young man, what has caused you to act like this? I must know!","Actually, ma'am,  it was the absolute fun and deliciousness of a Krabby Patty."
Ms. Priss: Krabby Patty?,"Yeah, that's right."
"Ms. Priss: Well, anything this fun and delicious can't be good. Why, what would this world be if everyone cavorted it in such a manner? Mr. Krabs:  Who are you with your tight lips, raised eyebrows, and conservative clothes? Ms. Priss: I am Ms. Gristlepuss. We are The United Organization Of Fish Against Things That Are Fun And Delicious. Or, T.U.O.O.F.A.T.T.A.F.A.D. for short. And we are going to ban these so called Krabby Patties, and close your restaurant forever! Mr. Krabs: What the...!","Ms. Gristlepuss, maybe if you were to taste the Krabby Patty for yourself, you too could experience the awesome pleasure."
Ms. Priss: I would soon sprout legs and do the Watusi!,Ooh! Okay.
"Mr. Krabs: Ah, it don't matter anyway, lad.  She can't close us down. Mr. Krabs:  She closed us down! I'm ruined!  How did it come to this? Squidward: You called Ms. Gristlepuss a disgusting old prune, then you threatened her with a french-fry strainer. Mr. Krabs: Well, I didn't know her husband was the chief of police! Ms. Priss: Thanks again, Al. Al: Any time, honey. See you at home for dinner. Mmm!  I'm starving.  Yee-haw! Ms. Priss: I just love that man. Squidward: How long has he been standing over there?","Uh, 4 days."
Mr. Krabs: It's no use!   I'm ruined!,"You know, it's too bad. The only way to make Krabby Patties again would be if you opened a place that didn't look like a restaurant and did it secretly."
"Mr. Krabs:  That's it! A secret Krusty Krab!  And I know just where to open it. Mr. Krabs: There ya are, Betsy! Good as new!","Mr. Krabs, I-"
Mr. Krabs:,"Whoa, sorry. I was just wondering-"
"Mr. Krabs: You know, lad, I can remember a time when people used to knock before entering someone else's home!","Yeah, but...this  my home."
"Mr. Krabs: Oh, yeah... Patrick: Hey guys!","Hey, Patrick! Thanks for helping out today!"
Patrick: You bet! Where do you want these extra buns?,"Patrick, that bag is totally empty."
"Patrick: Oops. Plankton: Happy day, Karen! That fool Krabs changed the name of his restaurant to the closed Krab! Everyone will think it's closed, and come eat here instead! He'll be ruined by tomorrow!  What an idiot! Karen: It is closed. Plankton: What? Karen: Ms. Gristlepuss and her husband banned Krabby Patties for being fun and delicious. Plankton: Banned? Then that means, my day of reckoning has come at last! I won, I tell you! I've won! And what better way than by default? Karen: Where are you going? Plankton: Oh, out to celebrate.  Don't wait up for me! Harold:  Quit shoving. Nat: I wasn't shoving. I was going like that and you happened to be standing there. Harold: That's called shoving. Nat: No, it isn't. Harold: Yes, it is. Nat: Nope. Harold: Yes! Nat: Nope! Plankton: Excuse me, gents! But what's with all the hullabaloo? Harold: We're just waiting in line to buy a Krabby Patty. Plankton: Krabby Patty?! Patrick:  Thank you, come again!  Can I help whoever's next, please?  What's the password, please? Plankton: What are you talking about, you gargantuan buffoon? Patrick: That's it!  Come right in! Plankton: Curse you! Gary: Meow. Squidward: So, would you like to secret-size that for two dollars more? Customer: Of course! Mr. Krabs: Hey, Squidwart. You haven't seen any sign of... you know...  the cops! Have ya? Squidward: Did you just call me Squidwart? Mr. Krabs: Okay, thanks. I'm gonna see what SpongeBob's doing.  Hey, SpongeBob! SpongeBob?  SpongeBob? What are you doing under the table?","If Krabby Patties are illegal now, aren't we breaking the law?"
"Mr. Krabs: There's an old saying, lad. What doesn't kill ya... usually succeeds in the second attempt.",But what does that have to do with making Krabby Patties?
"Mr. Krabs: Nothing! But if don't get out there and start cooking, I'll make ya start taking weekends off!",Nooooooo!
"Plankton:  So, Mr. Krabs is operating under the table, huh? Well, two can play at that game! Plankton:  Being a ruthless mastermind sure takes a lot outta ya. Al: Hello, this is officer Al, chief of police. Plankton: Cops, I need you! Miss Priss:  There! Patrick:  What's the pas--  Nope, that's not it! Miss Priss: You missed one! Mr. Krabs: Oh, Ms. Gristlepuss! I'm sorry we sold Krabby Patties. But do you really have to send us to jail? Miss Priss: Of course I do! You are a nuisance to my community! Al: You tell him, honey! Ha!  That's my girl! Miss Priss:  Al! What are you doing!? Al: Having some lunch. Miss Priss: Unhand that sandwich at once!",Ms. Gristlepuss! Look out!
Miss Priss: What?,Your shoe's untied!
"Miss Priss: It is?  Oh! Al:  Oooooohhh... Miss Priss: Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh ♪Aaaaaaahhhhhh!♪  ♪I like Krabby Patties! I think they're swell. Can you not tell? Krabby Patties, Krabby Patties, they're so neat! La la la la la la la la la la♪",♪La la la la la la la la laaaaaaaa!♪  Really neat.
Miss Priss: ♪Sweet to eat!♪,♪Treat that's neat!♪
Miss Priss & SpongeBob:  ♪Aaaaaaannndddd...♪  ♪dismount!♪ Miss Priss: That was wonderful! I... I feel... reborn!,Does that mean you're not sending us to the slammer?
"Miss Priss: Of course, my dear boy. I'm a kinder, gentler fish. And I owe it all to you.",Don't forget the spatula!
"Miss Priss: Don't push it, Al. Plankton:  Darn it! Argh! Once again, so close and yet so far! When am I gonna- oh! Miss Priss: Well, I think I'll have another one. Plankton: Oh dear.","Alright, we're gonna go to Sandy's house! Yeah! Ha-ha! Keep the tree warm, Sandy, we're on our way to your house! Ha-ha-ha..."
"Patrick:  Yay! Yay! Ha-ha! I'm gonna beat you there! I'm gonna... ah, it's gonna be fun! Ah-ha...","Sandy?  Hey, Sandy, what's with the sign?"
"Patrick: Look, she's on the eating channel. Sandy:  Howdy,  if y'all are watching this, that means I'm asleep for the winter. This sleep is called HIBERNATION.  During hibernation, animals don't like to be woken up. So, do not disturb!  ...That means you, SpongeBob. Patrick: We better put these on.","Never mind, Pat. Sandy said not to come in. Let's am-scray."
"Patrick: When are you gonna learn, SpongeBob? No means yes!","Patrick, listen, how many times do we have to-?"
Patrick: SpongeBob! Look at this!,What is this stuff?
"Patrick: It's a vast, swirling wonderland of sparkling white pleasure. Let it fill your senses with cascading, fluffy pillows of excitement and comfort as you've never felt before!","Wow, Patrick, that was beautiful!"
"Patrick: What, I was just reading this candy bar wrapper, see?",Patrick! Put your helmet back on!  You know there's no water in Sandy's house!
"Patrick: It's okay, SpongeBob. This stuff is water! Look!",I guess you're right. It's okay here!
"Patrick: Take it off, no one's lookin'.  SpongeBob, did you hear that?",I think it came from Sandy's tree.
Patrick: That is one tired tree.,Let's check it out.  Look what's in Sandy's bed!
Patrick: Looks like an over-inflated Sandy doll!,I think this thing is Sandy.
"Patrick: Hibernation must mean the opposite of beauty sleep. Sandy:  I've had enough of your dastardly deeds, Dirty Dan. I'm gonna get you and your partner, Pinhead Larry or my name ain't Sheriff... Sandy...","She must be dreaming about Texas outlaws.  Look out, Sandy, I'm Dirty Dan."
Sandy: I'm gonna catch you and throw you in jail at taxpayers' expense.,"Oooh, you better run faster, Sandy!"
"Patrick: Yeah, I'm getting away! Faster!","Hurry, we're getting in a taxi!"
Patrick: Faster! faster! Sandy: I'll get you two. You're nothing but pure evil! Just like newspaper comics...,"Come on, Patrick. We shouldn't disturb her anymore."
"Patrick: That's not disturbing, this is disturbing.  Hi there, SpongeBob, my name is PATBACK.",Ha! That is really disturbing!
"Patrick: Uh, SpongeBob?",Huh?
"Patrick: Faster, SpongeBob! She's gaining on us!",Sandy! NO! STOP!
"Sandy: I warned you, Dirty Dan. Now, you've just crossed the border into Hurtville.","Sandy, it's us, your friends, SpongeBob and Patrick!"
"Patrick: Please, Sandy, I can't afford dry cleaning! Sandy: Gonna skin y'all and make a pair of size six...boots... Patrick: Fun's over.","Whew, we sure don't want to wake her up again. Too bad we don't have any earplugs to put on her."
"Patrick: Yeah, all's I got is this bellybutton lint.","All right, Pat!"
Sandy: I'm gonna rip your arms off and.... flapjacks?,"Well, that oughta work."
"Patrick:  Hey, Sandy, does it work?","Hey, Sandy, if you can't hear us, don't say anything!"
"Patrick: Hey, Sandy! Don't wake up!","See ya later, Sheriff Sandy!  You're under arrest!"
"Patrick: You'll never catch me!  Hey, that's not fair! Cowboys couldn't afford cannons.",They couldn't afford station wagons either!
Patrick: Nice paneling.,"All right, Pinhead. Your time is up!"
"Patrick: Hey, who you callin' Pinhead? I wanna be Dirty Dan!",What makes you think you can be Dirty Dan?
Patrick: I'm dirty.,I'd say I'm Dirty Dan.
Patrick: I'd say I'm Dirty Dan!,Ow!  I'd say I'm Dirty Dan! Ow!
Patrick:  I'm Dirty Dan. Ee!,I'm Dirty Dan! Ow!
Patrick:  I'm Dirty Dan. Ee!,I'm Dirty Dan! Oof!
Patrick:  I'm Dirty Dan. Ee!,I'm Dirty Dan! D'oh!
Patrick:  I'm Dirty Dan. Ee!,I'm Dirty Dan! Ow!
Patrick:  I'm Dirty Dan. Ee!,I'm Dirty Dan! Ow!
Patrick:  I'm Dirty Dan.,AAAAAAAHHH!
Patrick: Screaming will get you nowh- Sandy:  Which one of you fellers is the REAL Dirty Dan? Patrick: Uh...I am?,Patrick!
"Patrick: Hot wings! Sandy: Okay, Pinhead Larry, now you get yours!  PINHEEEEAAAADDDD!!!!  Now you're gonna pay for those crimes, Pinhead!","Sandy, stand back. I'm warning ya!  Okay, I warned ya!"
"Patrick: Did you win?  Hi, SpongeBob!  Okay, SpongeBob, you can be Dirty Dan. I just wanna be Patrick.",Let's get out of here before Sandy wakes up again!
Patrick: Ouch!,"Sorry, Patrick, but the door is slippery! It's frozen shut!"
"Patrick: Let me have a try.  *Ptuh* *Ptuh* Open sesame!  Well, I've done all I can do...",Then we're stuck in here...until the door thaws...in spring.
Patrick: Barnacles.  Is it spring yet?,N-n-n-no.
Patrick: I'm so c-cold that I'm sh-shivering.,I'm so cold...  that I can use my nose drippings as a pair of chopsticks.
Patrick: I'm so c-cold... that... I'm shivering.,Maybe we should build a fire. I got it! We'll burn the bark from Sandy's tree!
"Sandy:  You're gonna be wearing an iron lung when I'm through with you, Pinhead!","The fire's not gonna happen, Patrick. I don't get it! How does Sandy survive these intense conditions every year?"
Patrick: Maybe she just ignores it.,Maybe...
Patrick: Maybe...,Maybe it's her fur!
SpongeBob and Patrick: Yeah!,"Look at all that warm, toasty fur."
"Patrick: It's like a gold mine, but with fur.",Carefully...carefully?
"Patrick: Come on, do it! I'm freezing here!","All right, all right, hang on a second!  That should be enough, right?"
"Patrick: Sponge, I'm a big man. A big, big man!","Well, I guess I've lived a full life!"
Patrick: This is taking too long! I want the warm now!,"Pat, no!  Pat, are you crazy?!"
"Patrick: No, I'm warm.",Let me see that roll of tape.
"Patrick: Man, that fur really hits the spot. No more frozen armpits!",And this eyebrow-goatee-combo works like a charm. This is the best idea we've ever had.
Patrick: You said it!,"I'm ready for the longest, coldest winter ever!"
SpongeBob and Patrick: BRING IT ON!!!,...Spring?
"Sandy:  Wow, spring already!",Tartar sauce! The lock is still frozen!
"Sandy:  I sure can't wait to go outside and warm my fur! Sandy: Oh, look, it's SpongeBob and Patrick! Sandy: Hey, guys!","It's okay, Sandy.  Squirrel pattern baldness is quite common in small mammals!"
Sandy:  SpongeBob... Patrick...,"Don't worry, Sandy, we've got you covered."
"Sandy:  More lemonade, boys? SpongeBob and Patrick: Thanks, Sandy. Sandy: Spring sure is lovely. Woman:  Hey, you stupid bubble, I just washed those! Old Man Jenkins: My spine! Man: Why don't you watch where you're going?! Suzy Fish: Get back here! Old Man Jenkins: I'll sue!","Hey, little bubble. Where'd you come from? Perhaps this letter will shed some light on your origin. It's from my old friend, Bubble Buddy. I wonder what's up with him.  Let's see now. Dear SpongeBob..."
"Bubble Buddy: The Mrs. and I have to go away for a few days, and our regular bubble sitter is sick. Could you please watch our son, Shiny, until we get back? I owe you one! Your pal, Bubble Buddy.","Please keep Shiny away from sharp objects. We don't want him to go pop like his, late Uncle Raymond.  Oh, boy! Gary, did you hear that? They want me to watch little Shiny! I wonder when he's going to show up. The letter doesn't say.  Oh, I can't wait to meet him!  Oh, there you are, Shiny! Oh, look at you! You're just as cute as the dickens!  Upsy-Daisy! Say hello to Shiny, Gary.  You're full of soap and vinegar, aren't you? I can't wait for my friends to meet you!"
Squidward:,"♪La la la la la la la!♪ This is going to be great, Shiny! Downsy Daffodil. Squidward loves meeting new friends."
"Squidward: No, I don't!","You're gonna like Squidward. He's lots of fun. So, how was your trip?  You don't talk much do you? Hmm. Guess he's not home. Oh, well. We'll have to try again, later.  Hey, Shiny. Where are you going?  You can't go in there! You weren't invited!"
Squidward: Would you please get your friend out of my house? Squidward: Where is he?,"Oh, Squidward. This place is so filled with sharp, jagged, broken things! This is no place for a little bubble boy!  There he is! Don't worry, Squidward. I'll get him!  Nope. Jagged glass. Barbed wire. Cactuses. Cactuses protected by barbed wire. Shh! Shiny must be in this one. Gotcha!  No, guess not.  Oh no! You don't think he p-p-p-p-popped in there ...?!"
Squidward: There he is! He's headed straight for my glass menagerie! Squidward: Phew...,"Hold still, Shiny. Gotcha!"
Squidward: Of course.,"Okay, Shiny. Fun is fun, but it's time to come down, now.  Barnacles! Shiny, no! Shiny, come back!  There he is!  He's headed for that open window! I gotcha, you little rascal. I guess Shiny wants to be an artist, just like you."
"Squidward: SpongeBob, I spent 6 long months on that painting!","Don't worry, Squidward. Shiny's made of soap. We'll just wash it off.  There you go, good as new.  Really catches your inner self. Oh, look at the time. Time to go to work! See you there. Bye! Hi, Mr. Krabs."
"Mr. Krabs: Morning, laddy. Say, what's with the glass puppet?","This isn't glass! Remember Bubble Buddy? Well, I'm taking care of his son."
"Mr. Krabs: Eh, Bubble Buddy, huh? That guy still owes me money! So, what's the little deadbeat's name?","Mr. Krabs, allow me to introduce you to Shiny Bubble."
Mr. Krabs:  Put it there!  Hey!,"Oh! You might wanna be careful with those sharp claws, Mr. Krabs!"
Mr. Krabs: Come here you little rascal!,"Don't worry, I got him! Wow, look how shiny Shiny made you."
"Mr. Krabs: Well, would you look at that. I never felt this clean on a weekday. Why don't you take into the kitchen and let him play with the dirty dishes?","Wow, I think Mr. Krabs really likes you. You play with these while I tend to the grill.  You sure are lucky, Shiny. You get to learn the glories of the service industry. Yessiree, Shiner. You show me a sizzling grill, and I'll show you a happy customer."
Harold: Woooowww! Hernia. Squidward: What in the name of Neptune is going on- Customer: Money! Yay!,"There you are, Shiny. I'm so glad I found you. Good thing you weren't hurt."
Mr. Krabs: You better get him out of here if you wanna keep him that way!  Bubbles today. They don't seem to understand the value of money.,"That's okay, Shiny. It's too dangerous for you to work at the Krusty Krab, anyway. But, there are some fun, safe things we can do. Like stand in place, or sit in place. Or the let's do nothing at all game. Patrick is really good at that one. He- Shiny? Shiny where are you? Shiny! No! You can't go to the city. It's too dangerous!  Where are you, Shiny?  Shiny, no! Don't worry. I'll save you!  There now. Safe and sound.  Now, Shiny, I-  Now, Shiny, you might-  That was a close one. Okay, now. Let's get you to my house and keep you away from sharp pointy things. Oh, tartar sauce. Oooh! Bikini Bottom Pin Factory?! Shiny, no! I'll save you!  You need to watch where you're going. You could get popped in a place like that. Hold on. There's something tickling my nose. Where's Shiny? Oh, no!  Scissor Works? I'll save you, Shiny!  Oh, boy. Don't you know scissors are sharp and dangerous? Luckily, we both escaped unharmed! Shiny?  Pitchfork Pantry. Of course.  Aah. Ow.  Shiny, how many times do I have to tell you? No sharp, no pointy! Let's see if there's someplace safe for you to visit. Ah, that's it. The Pillow Foundry. You'll like it in there. Pillows aren't dangerous.  Huh? Okay, let's skip the pillow foundry. I'll just take you to my house. Here we are. Home safe home! You must be famish after all that running around. Now, what would a growing bubble eat? Hmm.  I know! Shiny! Don't worry! I'll save you!  Oh, that ain't right!  Oh, come on, now!  Phew, he's okay. Uh-oh."
"Bubble Buddy: Hey, SpongeBob. How's my son been faring?","Oh, he's...  ...doing great."
"Bubble Buddy: I see you've grown a second head, again, son.",Again?
"Bubble Buddy: Don't worry, SpongeBob. I'll take care of it.  So, did my son behave himself?","Oh, he was a little angel... in a little devil, sort of way."
"Bubble Buddy: Well, see you later.","Bye-bye. Anytime you need a babysitter. In case you wanna know, I do a lot of stuff. I have Gary,... he needs feeding... and I have to check in with Mr. Krabs... and I... stand around a lot, and that keeps me busy."
Woman: Help!,"Hey, yah!"
"Woman: Help, help!","Whoa! Hup.  There, there. You're safe now, little lady."
"Jack M. Crazyfish: You fool! You've falled into my trap. Now you're mine, SpongeBob the strong!","So, we meet again, Crazyfish!"
Jack M. Crazyfish: Bring it on!,With pleasure!
Jack M. Crazyfish:  So loud!,"You ready to get crazy, huh, Crazyfish?!"
"Jack M. Crazyfish: You bet your frosting, Sponge-cake.","Sorry, I'm not wearing any frosting.  Hey, that's cheating!"
"Jack M. Crazyfish: No, it's not.","Yes, it is!"
"Jack M. Crazyfish: No, it's not.","Yes, it is!"
Jack M. Crazyfish: Is not!,Is too!
Jack M. Crazyfish: Is not!,Is too!
Jack M. Crazyfish: Is not!,Is too!
"Woman: Um, guys? Jack M. Crazyfish: Anyway, your shoe's untied.",Is not!
Jack M. Crazyfish: Is too. Woman: Guys?,Is not!
Jack M. Crazyfish: Is too. Woman: The train!,"Don't worry! I'm ready!  Bring it on!  Oh, good morning, Gare-bear."
Gary: Meow.,I kept you up all night with my nocturnal outbursts? Again?
Gary: Meow?,"No, no, Tuesday night was the one with the 30-foot librarian. Last night was the one where I defeat notorious arch-villain Jack M. Crazyfish. Using the sheer force of my awesomely developed musculature.  Whew, what a relief. For a second there, I thought I gave myself a black...  ...eye."
Gary: Meow.,"Go away, Gary. I'm busy... wallowing!"
Gary: Meow?,I did something so dumb to myself that even you would laugh uncontrollably at me.
Gary:  Meow.,"You promise you won't laugh?  Okay, here goes.  Gary, I gave myself a black eye trying to open the toothpaste.  Thanks for not laughing, Gare. I knew you'd...  Gare...?"
"Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob.  Hey, cool glasses. Can I try them on... oh!  SpongeBob, your eye. It's all black and swollen. How'd you mess your eye up, SpongeBob? Did someone hit you? Where is he? Yeah, we'll settle this like men. We'll sue him.","No, no, it's okay, Patrick. He... uh, he learned his lesson."
"Patrick: Are you sure, SpongeBob? Who was this guy, anyway?","Hmm...  Jack M. Crazyfish. You've never seen anyone like this guy, Patrick. He was about 60 feet tall."
Patrick:  Oh.,"He was big and mean. Oh, but old SpongeBob here knows how to teach a lummox some manners."
Patrick: What did you do?,I handled him the same way I handle all enormous muscle-bound villains.
Patrick: With tears?,"Uh, no, with a little hi-yah! and a ka-zow! and a gallon of hi-yah, hi-yah, ha! Yeah, he never knew what his him."
Patrick: Then what happened?,"I woke up... Oh, I mean, I..."
Patrick: I know exactly what you mean. You whooped him with your eyes closed!,"That is exactly what I mean, Patrick. Well, see you later, buddy."
Patrick: There goes a real hero.,"Slugger, that's me.  What the?"
Sandy: Yee-haw! Get along little fishies.,"Hi, Sandy."
"Sandy: Whoa!  Hot cat snake in a barn. Look at your eye. Land sakes. That's quite a shiner you got there. Well, don't you worry none. I know some natural remedies that'll...",Keep your natural remedies to yourself. Manly dudes like me don't need them. I'll have you know that I got this black eye in a fight.
"Sandy: A fight? Well, there's no shame in losing.","Lose? Sandy, I taught the fish who tangled with me a lesson he shan't soon forget."
Sandy: Why? Did he write it down?,"No, I engraved it on his pain gland."
"Sandy: Well, what type of man scuffles boots with you and loses?","Oh, this was no mere man. He was the notorious outlaw Jack M. Crazfish!"
Sandy: Jack M. Crazyfish?,"It all happened late last night...  I was walking home from work... alone when all of a sudden, Crazyfish sprang up out of nowhere. He threw a giant tire at the back of my head.  Then, he stood over me to gloat. I jumped up and karate kicked his hairpiece right off of its snaps.  He was so ashamed he ran all the way home leaving behind a pool of tears. Which I then proceeded to scoop up in my victory tankard and enjoy a nice refreshing beverage."
Sandy: So how'd you get the black eye then?,"Oh, yeah, that's right. I had miscalculated the trajectory of my cup and the straw jabbed me in the eye, giving me this awful shiner."
"Sandy: Well, looks like you're late for your day job, killer.","Ah, phooey. Late schmate. A tough guy like me can show up to work whenever he wants. Adios!"
"Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob is 13-1/2 minutes late for duty! I hope for his sake this means he was in a horrible accident.  Well, looks like I was right about the accident part. Harold: Oh!","Yeah, that's right, pal, do the right thing. Just keep on walking."
Sandals: Do you mind? We're trying to have a decent meal here.,That's right.
"Squidward: SpongeBob, I'm...","Dah-dah-dah-dah, I'm just going to stop you right there, Squidward. Spare you the oxygen. We all know you weaker folk can't afford to waste it.  All right, folks, listen up 'cause I'm only gonna say this once. Tough guys don't like to repeat themselves. I'm talking to you, gramma!  Now I suppose all of you are wondering how I got this black eye."
Squidward: Not really.,"All right, who said that?! Was it you, gramma?"
"Squidward: It was me, I said it.","Well, folks, I don't happen to see it as a shiner so much as a shining trophy of my glorious triumph over the forces of evil. Oh, I know what you're thinking. Who in the name of Neptune would want to tangle with a guy like SpongeBob SquarePants? Well, I'll tell you who.  It was a peaceful morning in Bikini Bottom. I emerged from my fruit-shaped bungalow fresh as a bee when a wanted cry of distress pounded against my eardrum."
Harold: Hold it. Sponges don't have eardrums. Mr. Krabs: He's right.,"Hey, let's save all the questions until the end! As I was saying... I quickly located the source of the cry which was a victim tied at my feet.  Don't worry, I'll save you. I assured... when a large bowling pin struck me in the face. The hurler was none other than Jack M. Crazyfish. And I could tell by that cold sore on his lip that today he meant business. With cat-like reflexes, I preempted his attack. But the scoundrel had me sabotaged. And I fell face down on a pile of extra large staples. He lunged at me, but I got him in the ribs with my novelty feather duster. Down he fell like a mighty oak.  And there he lay. The very thought of being vanquished made Jack M. Crazyfish burst into tears.  The force of his crying was so strong, I had to take evasive action. But one of the blasts went haywire and hit me right in the face...  ...and that's how I got this black eye and gave Jack M. Crazyfish a whomping of a lifetime. Whoo...football!"
"Dale: Uh, what did you say he looked like again?","Oh, kind of tall, handlebar mustache..."
Dale: Little green hat?,"I kind of thought it was teal, but that sounds like him all right. Wait a second, how did you know he was wearing a green hat?  He's... real..."
Jack M. Crazyfish: I'm looking for SpongeBob Squ--,"Mr. Crazyfish, please don't skin me alive! I made all that stuff up. I was just kidding about whomping you, right folks? You remember."
Gramma: I liked the part where you told us where how he was crying like a baby.,"Hi, Gary.  All right, look. I had a toothpaste tube, like this. But I couldn't get it open 'cause the cap was stuck. And I guess... I haven't been working my arms out that much lately. And I opened it up like this...  Then I was walking, like this.  And I didn't see where the cap went, like this.  So, I slipped on it and I landed right on my wrench, like this. And I gave myself a black eye, like this.  Uh... like these.  So you see? I made it all up so I could keep from looking stupid. Makes sense, doesn't it?"
"Jack M. Crazyfish: Uh, not really. I'm here because I heard you make a really good Krabby Patty.","One super hot and delicious custom order Krabby Patty with extra sauce, my lord. Served directly to your waiting  Head and neck area. Sir, please, I am so sorry."
"Jack M.Crazyfish: Where I'm from, sorry don't cut it. We settle things in a different kind of way.",No!
"French Narrator: Ah,  Saturday morning in Bikini Bottom.  SpongeBob is watching his favorite Saturday morning show:  The Adventures of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy.  Enjoying a bowl of Mermaid Man  and Barnacle Boy Bran Cereal,  and wearing the official Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy breakfast biters! TV Announcer: Mermaid Man...  fleet  and forceful!  By the power of Neptune. Aided by his young ward...  Aided by his young ward...  ...protecting the sea with feats of strength and agility. Mermaid Man: To the chiropractor! AWAYYYYYY!!!! TV Announcer: Fighting a rogues gallery of villains  like the Sinister Slug,  the Atomic Flounder...  and the dreaded Jumbo Shrimp!  Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy  unite! Johnny Elaine: Hey, kids! Are you ready to hear the winner of this week's contest?",I'm ready! I'm ready!
Johnny Elaine: Our winner will receive a special secret collector's  item from The Adventures of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy.  And the winner is...  Spring-boob Squire-pin.,Awwww. I worked forever on those life-size Krabby Patty mannequins of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy.
Johnny Elaine: ...for these life-size Krabby Patty mannequins of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy.,Hey! Spring-boob Squire-pin stole my idea!
Johnny Elaine:  What's that? Oh. It appears I've made a slight error in pronunciation.  The real name of the winner is -  SpongeBob SquarePants!,"WHAHOO!  Oh, I wonder when my  prize will...  get here...  My prize!  Can it be? It is!  The conch signal!!  From The Adventures of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy,  as seen on TV!  I wonder if it still works?"
"Mermaid Man: THE CONCH SIGNAL!  To the Invisible Boatmobile! Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy:  Ah! Ooh! Oh! Oh! Ah! Ah! Ooh! Barnacle Boy: Uh... Mermaid Man? Mermaid Man: Yes, Barnacle Boy? Barnacle Boy: We're not in the Invisible Boatmobile, are we? Mermaid Man: Uh, nope. Barnacle Boy: I told you making the boatmobile invisible was a stupid idea! Mermaid Man: Boatmobile! Come out, come out, wherever you are! Barnacle Boy: It's gotta be here somewhere...  Ow! Oh. Mermaid Man,  I think I-- Mermaid Man:  FOUND IT!  C'mon, get a move on, son.  We don't have all day. Barnacle Boy: Ignition...  on. Mermaid Man: Throttle...  on!",Hmm.  Maybe the conch signal doesn't work anymore.
Mermaid Man:  Activate torpedo mode! FIRE!!!  Mermaid Man... Barnacle Boy: ...and Bob-acle...,"I can't believe it, Gary. Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy in our home. Excuse me, I'm..."
"Mermaid Man:  Oh, my Neptune! He's been horribly disfigured! Oh, blast us! We're too late! Barnacle Boy: Oh, please. He's not disfigured. He's-he's just that sponge kid again. Mermaid Man: Oh, yeah. Good to see you, lad. Say, Barnacle Boy, we gotta find out where that conch signal came from.","Oh, that was me. I blew the conch signal, sir."
"Mermaid Man: Alright. Where's the danger, son? Bring it on. Bring it on!",Don't worry. There's no danger.
"Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy: No danger? Barnacle Boy: Look, there has to be danger. You blew the conch signal. When you blow the... where'd you get that thing anyway?",I won it in a contest.
"Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy:  Contest? Mermaid Man: They don't tell us anything anymore. Barnacle Boy: Look, Spongy, that ain't no toy. Mermaid Man: That's right. The conch signal is an awesome responsibility. We're duty-bound to help whenever it sounds. Barnacle Boy: But you only blow it when there's trouble, or there'll be trouble. You got that?","Yes, sirs!"
"Mermaid Man: Good boy. Barnacle Boy: Come on, come on,  come on. They're serving meatloaf today. Mermaid Man:  Oh, goody.","Don't worry, Mermaid Man. You won't be hearing from me for just anything. Only for the big emergencies."
"Barnacle Boy:  Will you hurry up in there?! And save me some hot wat... Mermaid Man: THE CONCH SIGNAL! Come, young ward! Barnacle Boy:  Coming! Mermaid Man: Oh... youth! Cut down in its prime!  Oh, speak to me, son!",Help... Can't...  open mayonnaise!
Barnacle Boy: What?!   I come down in my underwear to open a jar of mayonnaise?!,But...
"Barnacle Boy: But nothing! We can't go around socializing. We have to be prepared for, uh, emergencies. Mermaid Man: Barnacle Boy, think about it. Emergencies don't come around as often as they used to. Barnacle Boy: Alright, okay. You can blow the conch every once in a while. Just give us  something to do when we  show up. SpongeBob and Mermaid Man:  Yay! Mermaid Man: Danger! Barnacle Boy: That's it! Gimme that! You're running us ragged. Mermaid Man:  Must... must answer clarion call! Barnacle Boy: We're exhausted!","I'm sorry, Barnacle Boy. I didn't mean it. I... just wanted to spend time with you. You're my heroes!"
"Barnacle Boy:  It's too late for that, Mr. Contest Winner. I'm gonna destroy this thing with my... sulfur vision!  I'll destroy it when I get back to the,  uh, Mermalair. Uh, and as for you... Mermaid Man: Barnacle Boy,  don't squash his enthusiasm. After all, he could be the hero of tomorrow. Or the villain. Besides, I remember another  young  whipper-snapper, who wanted to be a super-hero. Barnacle Boy: You don't even remember breakfast, you old coot! Mermaid Man: Maybe the conch signal is too much responsibility.  But how would you like to spend the rest of the afternoon on patrol? Barnacle Boy: What?! Mermaid Man:  To the Invisible Boatmobile!",Oh...
"SpongeBob and Mermaid Man: Jingle bells, Mermaid Man smells,  Barnacle Boy laid an egg, The Invisible Boatmobile,  lost a wheel and...","Hey,  can I drive?"
Barnacle Boy: Drive? What do you know about driving the Invisible Boatmobile?,Tons! Like the windshield wipers are right here.
"Barnacle Boy: DON'T TOUCH THAT BUTTON, IT'S THE...  origami button. Mermaid Man:  When you're patrolling the city, you'll always have to be vigilante. On your toes,  constantly alert. Always expect the unexpec--  AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!",Hey!  I've got the doughnuts!
"SpongeBob & Mermaid Man: ...and Barnacle Boy laid an egg. Hey-hey! Mermaid Man: Oh, that fellow over there used to be the Atomic Flounder. I know that he doesn't look like much, but he could go back to crime...  ...just like that. Atomic Flounder:  Help! Help! Help somebody here!","You're under arrest, Atomic Flounder!"
"Mermaid Man: Stop, kid! STOP!! Let him go!",You said he could snap...  ...just like that!
"Atomic Flounder: What?! Get off of me!  If I weren't retired, I'd, I'd... ROARRRRRR!!!!  ...do that!  Outta my way, punk!","I can't believe it: I rode in the Invisible Boatmobile, met a villain, and learned to treat third-degree burns, all in one day. So, what are we going to do tomorrow."
"Barnacle Boy: Uh, uh, say, kid, why don't you take this nickel and go up there and see if our theme song in on the jukebox?",Okay.
"Mermaid Man: You know, for a pain in the neck, he's a pretty nice kid. Barnacle Boy: Let's ditch him. Mermaid Man: I'm right behind you.",It doesn't seem to be here.
"Barnacle Boy: Oh, it's there, all right. Mermaid Man: Keep looking. Diligence. Diligence.","Aye, aye, sir."
Barnacle Boy: Dagnabbit! Mermaid Man: What's the matter? Barnacle Boy: Where did we park the Invisible Boatmobile?!?,"Aw, that's the 15th time I've looked.  But I can't let my heroes down!"
"Mermaid Man: Boatmobile! Where are you?  Barnacle Boy, I found it! Dirty Bubble:  Still getting burned on that tail pipe, huh, Barnacle Boy? Barnacle Boy: It's the Dirty Bubble! Mermaid Man: In all his dirty roundness! Mermaid Man & Barnacle Boy: Oh, no!",I found it and it's the special dance mix!
Mermaid Man & Barnacle Boy:  Help! Help! Help!,Holy Krabby Patties! Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy's arch nemesis: The Dirty Bubble! I can't believe it!!
"Dirty Bubble:  You cannot save them, Sponge of Mystery! They are trapped by my awesome surface tension!",You don't understand! You're my most favorite super villain! Can I get your autograph?
"Dirty Bubble: Oh, no.  Oh, no, you fool. Stay back! The point. Ooh, ooh! Watch the point! AAHH! Mermaid Man: Aha! You saved us, son! Barnacle Boy: Yeah, you're a hero!",I am?
Mermaid Man: Are you up for another ride in the Invisible Boatmobile?,Oh...
"SpongeBob & Mermaid Man: Jingle bells, Mermaid Man smells, Barnacle Boy laid an egg... All 3: The Dirty Bubble popped and Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy and SpongeBob got away! Hooray! Barnacle Boy: Watch out! SpongeBob and Patrick: ♪Squidward had a Krabby Patty, Krabby Patty, Krabby Patty. Squidward had a Krabby Patty who's buns were white as snow!♪ Squidward:  Welcome to the Krusty Krab. Where it's almost as if the evolutionary clock ticks backwards. SpongeBob and Patrick: ♪Squidward had a Krabby Patty--♪ Squidward:  Excuse me for just a second. SpongeBob and Patrick: ♪--white as snow!♪ Squidward: Do you mind, I'm trying to work in a fast food restaurant. You might wanna try it sometime!","I sure would, Squidward. That sounds..."
"Patrick: Oh, wait a minute! SpongeBob, you already do work in a fast food restaurant!","Oh, yeah!"
SpongeBob and Patrick: Yay! Squidward: Remind me to fire my therapist.  And stop bringing your neighbors to work! Patrick: We're not just neighbors.,You can say that again!
"Patrick: We're not just... Squidward: I don't care!  $4.19, please. SpongeBob and Patrick: Krabby Patty, Krabby Patty, Krabby Patty! Squidward:  Alright! I am gonna... Well, I don't know what I'm gonna do, but...",She'll be comin' around the Krabby Patty when she comes!
"Squidward:   SpongeBob, you nincompoop! You broke my face! Don't just stand there, help me! I need a doctor!","Oh, doctor! Is he gonna be alright? For the love of Neptune, tell me!"
"Purple Doctorfish: Well ,son...",No! don't tell me! I can't take it!
Purple Doctorfish: We should know...,"No, please. Just... just don't."
Purple Doctorfish: We won't know for two weeks. You'll just have to wait.,Two weeks? I'll never make it.
"Nurse Rechid: Mornin', SpongeBob. You're early today.","Good morning, Nurse Rechid.  Hi, Mabel. Saved the blue one just for you."
"Mabel: Oh, SpongeBob. Blue is my favorite color. Er... or is it orange?","Don't worry, Mabel. I'll bet your amnesia's gonna wear off in no time."
Mabel: My what?,"Hiya, Squidward! I've been practicing how to flop on my back."
Squidward: Purple Doctorfish: We can't really have you in here today. I'm going to be removing Squidward's bandages and he made me swear to keep you far away from him.,"It has been two weeks already? . Don't worry, doc. I promise to stay out of the way."
Purple Doctorfish: Okay. As long as you stay on the other side of the...  Right.,"Don't rush it! Sorry, go ahead. Wait!"
Purple Doctorfish:  What is it?,Are you sure that the patient has enough emensmansera?
Purple Doctorfish: I have no idea what that is. Please. Just let me work.,"Very well, doctor. Carry on."
Purple Doctorfish: May I?,Hold it! The readings on this brain meter are all wrong! We must postpone the operation!
Purple Doctorfish: That is a television set put here for the patient's enjoyment. And it's not even plugged into the wall!,"You're right, doctor. Proceed with operation sever. Hold it!"
"Purple Doctorfish: Now what?! Nurse: Doctor, we can't do this. Surely we can use a less dangerous procedure. After all, we have to start thinking about... the welfare of...",Wait!
Purple Doctorfish: What could it possibly be this time?!,I just want to say sorry for interrupting you before.
Purple Doctorfish:  I...I...I can't believe it. Squidward: SpongeBob?,Yeah?
Squidward: How does it look?,Great Neptune...
"Squidward: Come on. Spit it out. I can take it. Nurse: Time for your medicine, Mister ...Mister...Mister...  Handsome! Ohhh... Squidward: What did she call me?",Handsome. But she spelled it wrong.
"Squidward: Quick, hand me that mirror!  What the...? Wait a second. That nurse was right. I am handsome!","Squidward, you're not handsome. You're a hunk!"
"Abigali Marge: So handsome! Thaddeus: Handsome! Billy:  Hello, Handsome.","Gee, Squidward. People really seem to be noticing how handsome you are now. You might even be more handsome than before."
Tina:  So handsome!,If that's even possible.
"Mary in wheel chair: Uh... It's a miracle...I can walk. Harold:  I can see! Fat Student Fish: I can fly!  Uh-oh. My shoe's untied. Female Teen Fish: Mr. Handsome, can I have your autograph? No! Not in the book, on my retainer. SpongeBob and Squidward: A limousine?! Squidward: Well SpongeBob, earlier today my spine was hurting, now I'm resting on fine leather upholstery.","Well, I'm gonna go clip my toenails Squidward, don't forget to enjoy being handsome."
"Squidward: Oh, don't worry. Crowd:  Handsome! Handsome! Handsome! Handsome! Handsome! Handsome! Handsome! Squidward: Huh? Well, better go greet the commoners. Crowd: Handsome! Handsome! Handsome! Squidward: Good morning my people! I'm sorry to have kept you waiting, but even I  strange as it seems, need my beauty sleep. Fish #3: I want his shirt! Fish #4: I want his eyelids! Squidward: I guessed I kept them waiting a little too long. I know, a little music should soothe their hunger. Bill: Hey what is that sound? Harold: Wait it's him! The handsome man! Squidward: Beautiful and talented. what more do they want? Don't worry folks, there's more where that came from...Hey! Thaddeus: I got the clarinet! Squidward:  There's nothing a little foaming herbal bath can't cure.  Hey, my grandmother gave me that soap! Well, no one ever said it'd be easy being so handsome, Squiddy. You'll just start getting used to.. Big Female Fish: Hi, Handsome. Male Fish #7: Handsome! Female Fish #8: Handsome! Female Fish #9: Handsome! Let's get him! Squidward:   SpongeBob! You gotta help me! They stole my bubble bath! Public life ain't all it's cracked up to be. I want my old life back.",Hmmm... I know just what to do.
"Mr. Krabs: Squidward? What have you done? You know what the Krusty Krab means to me, don't ya? And you took it upon yourself to bring all these, these customers, to me. Hey, don't worry folks, There's plenty of Squidward to go around. So everybody just line up and get your pocketbooks out, first will be a small fee of $14.98 per person, everyone will get the opportunity to touch Squidward. Squidward: We don't have much time! Take the door and change me back. Mr. Krabs: And I'll even throw in a free soft drink for an extra $3. Squidward: Come on, SpongeBob. Take the door and smash my face back!","I can't! It was one thing doing it by accident, but I can't hurt you on purpose."
Squidward: You better hurt me or I'm really gonna hurt you!,"Well, okay..."
"Squidward: Now don't hold back, SpongeBob. Just really let me have it.","Just remember, Squidward, this is going to hurt me more than it's going to hurt you."
"Squidward: Uhh... okay, just let me just memori...  Dooowww! Hey, I wasn't ready.  Would you mind waiting ‘til I...","Hang on, you're starting to look like your old self again.  Nope. Still too handsome.  It's still not working. Maybe I'm not doing it hard enough."
Squidward: Spo... hang on a sec  ... let me... uhhhh...,"Eeee! Squidward, you're even more handsome now!  And the crowd is in a frenzy."
"Squidward: Well, SpongeBob, it was you who got me into this mess, now you have to get me out again!","I know, Squidward! I'll think of something! Huh! I just need, I just need..."
Squidward:  Got me into...,Squidward! Look out for that falling shoe!
Squidward: Huh?,Squidward...
Squidward: SpongeBob?,"You're back! Oh, Squidward...I love you no matter how many times we smash your face."
"Squidward: I almost wish that meant something. Mr. Krabs: Hey, where you going? Don't leave me! Please! I'm beggin' ya! Look. I can make him handsome again. Watch!  See?  He's getting handsome. It just takes a little  effort, just a little  elbow grease. Please! Come back! Squidward:  Have I told you how beautiful you are? Your tentacles, your nose, your eyes...a little lopsided.  There. And now that I've been immortalized in wax, I have conquered all artistic media. Come on, my precious reflection, smile!","Hike, Patrick, hike!  You just lost three points.  One. Two. Five!  G-7!"
Patrick: G-7? King me! King me!  I lose!,"But it's not Tuesday, Patrick."
"Patrick: Tartar sauce! Squidward: Hey! What are you invertebrates doing? SpongeBob & Patrick: We don't know. Squidward: Hey, Patrick, do you know what time it is? Patrick: Uh, yeah, Squidward, it's... Squidward: Time to find some other game to play!",Now what?
Patrick:  We could toss that shell back and forth.,Okay... ready!
Patrick: Go!,"I got it! I got it!  I got it! I got it! I got it!  Remember, Patrick, finders keepers."
Patrick: There it is! SpongeBob & Patrick: I got it! I got it! Patrick: Bonus points!,"Uhh, Patrick? I think something's wrong with Squidward. He looks unconscious."
Patrick: Don't worry. I know how to do this.,"Get off him, Patrick!"
Patrick: What are you worried about?  He looks better already.,But he still feels cold.
"Patrick: Well, let's go put him in the warm.",Do you think he'll be okay?
"Patrick: You know, you worry too much.  The Patrick is here and SpongeBob I know a lot about head injuries, believe...  ...me. Hey, what's that on your shoe?",I don't know.
Patrick: It kind of looks like... SpongeBob & Patrick: Squidward!,"No, no, that part goes here."
"Patrick: Yeah-yeah, that's it, uh-huh.",We're almost there. We can do this.
"Patrick: It's working, it's working...","This is working.  Patrick, this isn't working!"
Patrick: Look!,"I don't know how to say it, but our old pal Squidward, he's... He's... He's pushing up daisies!"
"Patrick: Oh, I thought he was dead. Squidward:  What are you doing here?! Well? Are you two trying to say something, or do I have to...?","No, stay back!"
"Squidward: What is the matter with you two? Patrick: Don't, don't hurt us!",It was an accident!
"Squidward: What are you two talking about?  Look what you've done to me! When I get my hands on you, I'll...","Please, Mr. Squidward's ghost!  Spare us your ghostly anger!"
"Patrick: Oh, yes, Mr. Squidward's ghost! Please don't haunt us!",We'll do anything you want! Just have mercy on us!
"Squidward: Enough! Listen up, Squidward's ghost is feeling unusually generous today. He hath decided to spare ye a horrible fate. All ye must do is tend to my every whim and tickle my fancy on demand.",Does that include...
"Squidward: Quiet! Now, do as you're told! Lest ye incur the wrath of Squidward! Patrick:  I think they make a cream for that now.",Here?
Squidward: Too hot.,Here?
"Squidward: No, too wet. Keep going. Keep going.",Here?
Squidward: Toulouse-Lautrec.,Too tired...
"Squidward: Perfect. Hmmm, I feel needy.  Slaves, fetcheth me some nourishment.","Only the freshest, o spooky one.  A grape fresh from the vine, your ghostliness.  A banana peeled to your liking, your incorporealness."
"Patrick: One watermelon...  Fresh from the manure fields, your spookiness.",Art thou not pleased?
"Squidward : Enough of that! I want something else to eat now. Something that's very difficult to find. Patrick : What do you hunger for, master?","Whatever you want, we'll find it. We'll find it."
"Squidward: Cherry pie.  Where'd you get that? Patrick: I found it. Squidward: Well, go find it again!  SpongeBob, get over here. Now spin around.  That's better. Now jog in place.  Say flank steak.",Flank steak.
"Squidward: I think I'm beginning to like this. Stop.  Now, play me an elaborate song with this!",But this is just a piece of tissue paper.
"Squidward: Oh, my. Always having to have it our way, don't we? Oh, boo-hoo.",I can't do it!
"Squidward: Well, I hope you don't have any plans tonight, 'cause you're not allowed to leave that spot till I hear a song.  What's this? Napping on the job? You're supposed to be making music for me. As punishment for this insolence, Squidward's ghost commandeth you to clean out his back room. Patrick:  I found it. Squidward: I'll take that! Patrick: Yes, your ghostliness!  This is fun.","Patrick, are you ready for this?"
Patrick: Yes.,"Okay, let's go. Patrick, are you coming?"
Patrick: Yes.,"Patrick, it's this way."
Patrick: Where?,Here.
"Patrick:  Oh, coming!  How are we going to clean up all this mess?",It's easy. Just tear this wallpaper off!
"Patrick:  Oh look, you missed some.","Oh, let's see. It's a comic book, and look at this. It's the Origin of the Flying Dutchman.  It says when he died they used his body as a window display. Now he haunts the seven seas because he was never put to rest. Well, don't you get it, Patrick?"
Patrick: We're going to go shopping?,No! We're gonna put poor old Squidward to rest.
Squidward: Ow! What the heck was that?,Initiation! That was part one of your ceremony.
Squidward: Ceremony for what?,We're going to put you to rest.
"Squidward: I don't want to be put to rest! All I want are those chores done. Now, did you clean the back room yet?",Yeah.
"Squidward: Oh, really? I'm going to go check.","Okay, get in."
Squidward: Are you crazy? I'm not getting in that thing!,But you said we could put you to rest.
"Squidward: I didn't say anything like that! Now, get out of my house! Squidward: Now what?","I wrote Here lies Squidward. You may not remember him, but he...  Oh, hi, Squidward. Does this look deep enough?"
Squidward: SpongeBob! Cut that out!,"Oh, look, the mourners have arrived."
"Mr. Krabs: Oh, Squidward, we all came as soon as we were sure you were dead. Squidward: SpongeBob, are you trying to put me in the nuthouse?","No, just into this hole."
"Squidward:  SpongeBob, I have a confession to make.",You're bald?
"Squidward : No, I'm not bald! I'm alive! Now get rid of that tombstone and tell all your friends to go home!",But-
Squidward: Do it!,"Go home.  But I, Master--"
"Squidward: I'm not your master, I'm your neighbor. Now do me a favor and stop doing me favors!","As you wish, master."
"Squidward: D'oh! Patrick: Boy, he really had us fooled.","No, Patrick, he's the fool. He's a ghost in denial. He needs us now more than ever."
Patrick: You're right. He really needs to get up to the great beyond.,"Patrick, say that again."
Patrick: That again?,"No, the other thing."
"Patrick: No, the other thing.","No, what you said before when you..."
"Patrick: No, what you said before when you...",Never mind! I've got an idea.
Patrick: Never mind! I've got an idea.,I can't reach him!
Patrick: Blow harder!  There he goes!,Isn't he beautiful?
Patrick: How high's he going to go?,"All the way, Patrick, up to the great beyond.  Goodbye, friend!"
Patrick: Happy trails! SpongeBob and Patrick: You're welcome!,He's on the other side now.
"Patrick: Yeah.  He's in a better place. Dream SpongeBob: Order up, Squidward!","Hey, hey Squidward, did you see me?  Okay, see you later, Squidinator."
"Mr. Krabs: Good morning, Mr. Squidward.  So, are you ready? Squidward: To go home? Mr. Krabs: No, to exchange gifts for Employee Brotherhood Day. Squidward: Mr. Krabs, you pay me to stand behind this register and take orders and give change. But you could never pay me enough to act brotherly towards...  ...that guy! Mr. Krabs: That attitude of yours is precisely why we're having this little shenanigan. Now pay attention, the lad's got a surprise for ye.","Squidward, in honor of employee brotherhood, I present to you a gift.  Ta-dah."
"Squidward: I Heart you... Mr. Krabs: Try it on, Mr. Squidward! It's got you written all over it.","I wasn't sure how big to make the hole for the head, so I used a watermelon for size.  Do you love it?"
Squidward:  It's a little itchy. What's this thing made of?,Eyelashes!
"Squidward: Now may I resume to my minimum-wage duties? Mr. Krabs: After you present your brotherhood gift. Squidward: I'll buy the little twerp a Gumball. Mr. Krabs: Oh, no, no, no, no, lad. You know the rules; you have to make the gift. Squidward:  The only thing I'm making is for the exit.","Is this any better, Squidward? I made this one with my tears."
"Mr. Krabs: I knew you'd come around, boy. Make something nice. Squidward: Why can't I just buy something for the little weirdo? Captain: Heave-ho!  If you drop one single slice of me booty, I'll have... your booty! Squidward: Hi, there. Those homemade pies sure look good. Pirate: Oh, these aren't homemade. They were made in a factory... a bomb factory. They're bombs. Squidward: Oh, well, that's too bad. I thought they were pies and I wanted to buy one. Captain: Wait!  We were just kidding about all that bomb stuff. That'll be 25 bucks, please. Squidward: So, what flavor is it? Pirates:  Cherry. Apple. Raspberry. Squidward: Well, if it'll get old man Mr. Krabs off my back.  Okay, here it is, Mr. Krabs, fresh from the oven. I'll be returning to my life now. Mr. Krabs: Not yet. I got to make sure you did it right.  Wait a second... this would go great with some milk!  So, you tried to kill me over a little new age management, eh? Squidward: But, Mr. Krabs, I had no idea. I can explain!","Mr. Krabs, are you okay? I heard a... wow! A pie!  It's from Squidward.  To SpongeBob... Well, here you go."
Squidward: And that's what happened! Mr. Krabs: 25 dollars?! A bomb?! Squidward & Mr. Krabs:  In the Krusty Krab?! Mr. Krabs: That's where you left it. Squidward: It's not there.,"Hey guys.  Thanks for the pie, Squidward.  La, la, lalalalalala."
Mr. Krabs: You had to kill him. The boy cries you a sweater of tears... and you kill him. How are you gonna live with yourself? Squidward: Kill him?,"Here's your order, sir."
"Customer: Thanks. Squidward: No, no! What we got... we got to call the hospital! Mr. Krabs: Won't do any good. I've seen this before. When that pie goes up to bat, I mean, hits his lower intestine... boom! Squidward: You've seen this before? Mr. Krabs: Eleven times as a matter of fact. Squidward: Yes, hello, doctor? Hospital? It won't do any good? Eleven times?  Oh, he's a goner. How do we tell him? Mr. Krabs: Don't tell him. That'll only make him feel worse. The way I see it, he's only got till sunset. Why ruin his last day on earth? The lad deserves to enjoy his final hours. Squidward:  You're right, Mr. Krabs!  I'm gonna make SpongeBob's final hours the best he's ever had. And this time, there's going to be love... so much, he's going to drown in it.  Drown in it! Mr. Krabs:  Note to self: Watch out for Squidward. Squidward: Uh, SpongeBob?",Yes?
"Squidward: I forgot to tell you, there's a part two to your gift.","Part two?  Part two, part two, part two, part two..."
"Squidward: Please, don't do that.",What's the part two?
"Squidward: Well, what's the most fun thing you can think of?","Actually, I keep a list of the fun things I like to do. I call it my friendship list."
"Squidward: Great. Uh, let me see it.","The things that are extra fun, I've written in red."
Squidward: Everything's in red.,"Yeah, I know."
Squidward: We'd better start now if we want to get through this list before you die... of anticipation.,"Then let's roll!  Bye, Mr. Krabs.  Heads up, Squidward—looks like they're gonna replace you."
"Squidward: Uh, yeah. Let's take a look at that list.","Well, the first thing I want to do is show my best friend Squidward to everybody in town.  Hi, there, this is my best friend, Squidward.  Hey, kids, check it out! This is my best friend, Squidward.  Hi, I want to show you my best friend, Squidward."
"Squidward: Hey, Frank.  Glad that's over.","Good, 'cause we're onto our next activity."
Squidward: Which is...?,I'm gonna show my best friend Squidward to everybody in town wearing a salmon suit.
Squidward: You're gonna be wearing a salmon suit?,"That's a good one Squidward!  Next.  Knock-knock jokes! Hey Squid, knock-knock."
Squidward: Who's there?,I am!
"Squidward:  Oh, yeah...","Look out, everyone, friends in reverse! Turn left, and... stop. See, that's what it would be like if you had me for a face."
Squidward:   I can't breathe. Squidward: Are you sure you should be poking it like that?,Who's the doctor here?  The last thing on the list is...
Squidward:  Does it involve more dismemberment?,Watch the sunset with Squidward.
"Squidward: Sunset? Mr. Krabs: The way I see it, the lad's got until sunset before that bomb hits his lower intestine.","Hey, it's Mr. Krabs! Hi, Mr. Krabs.  Okay, see you later."
"Squidward: C'mon buddy, you want a sunset, you'll get a sunset.","Ah, underwater sunsets sure are beautiful. Eh, Squidward?"
Squidward: Yeah.,"Yeah, this is great, just the three of us. You, me,  ...and this brick wall that you built between us."
Squidward: Yeah.,"Sunsets always remind me of bowls of fruit. What do they make you think of, Squidward?"
"Squidward: Explosions... I mean, erosion.","You know, if I were to die right now in some sort of fiery explosion due to the carelessness of a friend, well, that would just be okay.  Wow, it feels like something just dropped into my lower intestine.  Hey, smells like cherry. Or maybe grape. Blueberry?  Here it is, the sunset! I always love to count it down. Five... You do the rest, buddy."
Squidward: Four... three... two... one...,I guess we started too early. Let's start again.
"Squidward: Five... four... three...  two...  o-o-o-one... Well, at least I was able to make his last few hours meaningful.  I am such a good person.","Hey, Squidward, check this out!  Squidward, we already played babble like an idiot."
Squidward: Why are you still here?!,"Well, since we finished everything on the list, I thought I'd make up a new one.  I already filled up this book of ideas. We should be able to finish by January."
"Squidward:  Forget the book! I spent the whole day with you, doing all kinds of ridiculous things, because you were supposed to explode!",You want me to explode?
Squidward: Yes! That's what I've been waiting for!,"Um, okay, I'll try.  Gary! You are gonna finish your desert, and you are gonna like it!  Now it's your turn!"
Squidward:  That's not what I meant you barnacle head!,"Oh, good one."
Squidward: No! You were supposed to explode into a million pieces!,Why would I do that?
Squidward: Because the pie you ate was a bomb!,What pie?
"Squidward: The one that I left sitting on the counter this morning that I bought from pirates for 25 bucks and I didn't know it was a bomb, and you ate it... th... that pie!","Pie...pie...  Oh, you mean this pie! I was saving it in my pocket for us to share. Let's eat!  Oops!"
Squidward:  Ouch.,Ooh-wah!  Oh!
Squidward: Hmm? Who's that?,"Ah!  Hmm, something's missing.  Aha! June 15th.  Fine month for pickles.  Order up!  One perfect patty on a pristine plate in a squeaky-clean Krusty Krab. Man, oh, man, do I love my job!  Hey, Mr. Krabs. What's the good word?"
"Mr. Krabs: Well, actually, SpongeBob, uh, there's two words. And they're not very good. You're fired.","Oh, Mr.-  what?"
"Squidward: Fired? Mr. Krabs: Well, you see, I've been doing some calculating and, you know, crunching the old numbers. And it turns out that I'll save a whole nickel if I cut your salary. Completely.",Bu-bu-bu-but how about if I work for free?
"Mr. Krabs: Yeah, I looked into that. Apparently, it's  illegal. And I'll lose my vendor's license. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Bill: Uh, excuse me. Is that mine?",I don't know. Maybe.  Take it.
Mr. Krabs:  You know I love you like a son. But you can't argue with a nickel.,But--but--but--but--but--but--but--but--but--but--but--but--but--but--but--but--but--but.
"Squidward: Hey, what about me? Can I get fired too? Mr. Krabs: I'm afraid not, Squidward. You've got seniority. Squidward: Oh, yeah. Mr. Krabs: Nope, it's gotta be you, son. You're canned.  Here's your pink slip.  I'm giving you the ax.  You're fired.","No, not that, anything but that!"
"Mr. Krabs: So, uh, if you could just hand over your spatula. Um... I'll just take that.","Here, I'll get that for you."
"Mr. Krabs: I'll also need the hat. Allow me.  Go ahead; take a moment to collect yourself. Long as you need. Old Man Jenkins:  I'm not a very strong swimmer. Squidward:  Okay, that's enough. It's closing time.  You know, it just won't be the same around here without you. You'll have to visit sometime...  As a customer.  Buh-bye now. Sayonara. Good riddance.  Man, is it going to be sweet without that pest around!  This day couldn't get any better.  Well, Eugene, let me commend you on a terrific business decision. But now that SpongeBob's gone, who will be running the grill? Mr. Krabs: Squidward, I'll have you know,  I was five times golden spatula in the navy,  so I'll be running the grill.  Ooh! Squidward: I can smell the grease fires already.","Hey, Gary, I'm home. Forever."
Gary:  Meow meow?,"Oh, Mr. Krabs feels he doesn't need me anymore."
Gary: Meow.,"What's that, Gary? You need me? Oh, the unconditional love of a pet.  Oh, I'm sorry. Here I am wallowing in my misery, and it's past your dinnertime.  I used to feed everyone in Bikini Bottom.  Now I just feed you.  Oh, thanks, Gary."
Gary: Meow.,"That's how I used to hold my spatula.  Patrick, what's wrong?"
"Patrick:  Oh, hey, SpongeBob. I heard you crying and it made me sad.","Gee, I'm sorry. Why don't you come inside?"
"Patrick:  Hi, SpongeBob! Why are you making me so sad?","Patrick, the most horrible thing happened today. I got-- f-f-f-f-f-f-f..."
Patrick: Free French fries?,F-f-f-f-f-f-f...
Patrick: Fried Frittatas?,F-f-f-f-f-f-f...
Patrick: Frothy frappe?,F-f-f-f...
"Patrick: I can't think of any more food that starts with the letter c, SpongeBob.","It's not food, Patrick. I got fired."
"Patrick: Hey, that's great! Being unemployed is the best gig I know!  I tell you what. Meet me tomorrow morning, and I'll introduce you to the wonders of the unemployed lifestyle.","Sorry, Patrick, I can't. I have to wor-- oh. Yeah, okay."
"Patrick:  Great. See you then. Patrick:  Oh!  Hey, buddy! Are you ready? Ready for your first day of glorious unemployment? Or as I like to call it, fun-employment!","Yeah, sure.  Whatever."
"Patrick: That's the spirit!  Now, the first stop on our tour of fun-employment is a healthy breakfast with our good friend Mr. Squidward.  Hey, Squidward! How are you this fine morning? Squidward:  How many times do I have to tell you... Keep..  Off...  My... ... Petunias!!?! Patrick:  I'll just save this for later.  Now you try.","Uh...  Hey, Squidward. Look at me. I'm fun-employed!"
Patrick:  Are you feeling any better yet?,Uh-uh.
"Patrick: Come on, SadPants. You know what always picks me up?",Nope.
Patrick: Free lunch with friends!,Yippee.
"Sandy: Okay, let's begin the experiment.  Mm-hmm.  Okay, next. Patrick: Oh, boy, lunch! Patrick's Forehead: More! More! Sandy: Very interesting.  Okay, next.  SpongeBob! I almost didn't recognize you.  You look awful! What are you doing with these here freeloaders?",I got fired. Now I'm fun-employed.  Whoo-hoo.
"Sandy: Whoa, there. You do not want to eat that.",Why? What is it?
"Sandy: Heck if I know.  this here's a psychological test to see how much weird gunk folks will eat... if it's free.  Who's for seconds? Both Patricks: Me! Patrick:  Here you go, little buddy.  Ahh. Mmm! Sandy: SpongeBob, you're a mess. You're falling apart.  Come on now, SpongeBob. You need to pull yourself together. Get some structure in your life.  What you need is a new job.","You're right, Sandy.  I'm afraid I can't do this anymore, Patrick. Unemployment may be fun for you, but I need to get a job."
"Patrick's Forehead: Who do you think you're fooling, you loser? You couldn't keep a job if you tried! Patrick: Hey! You can't talk to my friend like that! Patrick's Forehead: Unh! Patrick: Don't listen to him, SpongeBob. You need to follow your heart.","Thanks, Patrick.  It's time to rejoin the workforce. Gainful employment, here I come!  Yah! I'm ready! Whoo-hoo!  ♪I'm ready, I'm ready for a new job, for a new job, I'm ready for a new job; I'm ready♪ Greetings, purveyor of elongated sausage products! I would love to work at your establishment."
"Mr. Weiner:  Well, you do look enthusiastic.  Hmm. All right, kid.  Let's see what you got.  So this is the kitchen.",Hmm.  This grill is not in very good shape.
"Mr. Weiner: Oh, we don't use the grill.  We cook everything on the roller.  Good luck, kid.","Hmm. There's something not quite right about this food, but I'm not sure what it is.  Aha!"
Mr. Weiner:  Hey! Where are those weenies?,"Your weenies, sir."
Mr. Weiner: What in the name of Davy Jones' gym shorts are these?,They're weenie patties.
Mr. Weiner: What are you some kind of nut? You've ruined my weenies!  You're fired!,"Aah! But, Mr. Krabs, why?"
Mr. Weiner: Mr. Who?,"I mean, Mr. Wiener!"
Mr. Weiner: Just go.,"Well that was a setback.  Hello, Pizza Piehole!"
Pizza Pete:,"Excuse me, Mr. Pizza man.  You need a fry-cook?"
"Pizza Pete:  Oh, boy, do I! Can you make pizza?",Eh... probably.
"Pizza Pete: Oh, that's amazing.  Congratulations, you're hired.","Cool.  Well, it's no Krabby Patty, but... perhaps I'll find contentment."
"Pizza Pete:  Hey, buddy, how's the pizza coming?",Almost done! But I did change the recipe a bit.
Pizza Pete:  No problem.  A few extra toppings never hurt anyone.  Huh? What have you done?  You've turned an innocent pizza into... a pizza patty! It's an abomination!,"Yeah, of deliciousness!"
Pizza Pete: You're fired!,But who'll make the Krabby Patties?
"Pizza Pete: Krabby Patties? What do you think this is, the Krusty Krab?","Like I need his dumb job, anyway. I hope his pepperoni falls off.  Hey, taco man, may I have a job, por favor?"
Senor Taco:  Hmm. All right. Let's see what you can do with a burrito.,How about that?
Senor Taco:  Interesting. It's some sort of burrito patty. Hmm.  Who'd like to taste it? Pilar: I'll give it a go! Senor Taco: You're fired!,"But I've given you the best years of my life, Mr. Krabs!"
Noodleman:  You're fired!,Aah!
Noodleman:  And take your noodle patty with you!,"Oh, I'll take it, all right. I'll take it to go! Home. For years I worked at the Krusty Krab. Now I've been fired five times in one day.  Who are you going to cook for now, SpongeBob?"
Gary:  Meow.,"Sorry, Gary, you must be starving.  Don't worry gare-bear.  I'll open up a can of Snailpo for you.  Oh, no.  We're all out of Snailpo.  We'll just have to make our own.  Perfect! One homemade can of Snailpo!"
Gary:  Meow.,"What's that, Gary? It's the best food you've ever had?"
"Gary: Meow. Patrick:  Yeah, this is dee-licious! Does it have any side effects?",Only satisfaction.  If only my bosses liked my cooking as much as you two do.  I mean three.  Hello. Hmm. That's odd. I could've sworn I heard a knock at the door. Mr. Weenie?
"Mr. Weiner: Congratulations, SpongeBob, you've been promoted.",But you just fired me.
"Mr. Weiner: That's mustard under the bun, my boy. The important thing is my customers love your little sliders.  Now get to work!",I'm pretty sure this is illegal. What am I gonna do now?
"Pizza Pete:  Pst!  Hey, kid. You need help out of here?","Pizza Pete! Yes, please. That wiener has me chained to the grill,  and he really seems to be relishing it."
Pizza Pete: I have something to free you.,Pizza sauce?  I'm free!
Pizza Pete: Great! Now you can get to my grill.,What?  Parmesan-crusted breadstick!  Whoa!
Mr. Weiner:  Hey! Where are you going with my fry cook? Noodleman:  I'll take one fry-cook to go!,"Oh, thank you, Señor Taco!  Oh, no! Not you too!"
"Pizza Pete, Mr. Weiner and Noodleman:  Get him!",Whoa!
"Noodleman: Let go! Mr. Weiner: He's mine! Senor Taco: I was here first! Pizza Pete: No, I was! Krabby Patty Man: Stop! Unhand that sponge! Noodleman:  It's the Killer Patty! Mr. Weiner:  Here, take him! Just don't hurt me.  Aah!","Krabby Patty! You saved me!  Well, here we go again."
"John: Ugh! This place is terrible! Blue Fred: The Krusty Krab has really gone downhill. Nat Peterson:  How can you serve this slop?  I'm never eating here again! Mr. Krabs:  Wait! Come back!  That was me last customer.  SpongeBob?  Squidward, you found him!",Squidward?
Squidward:  I'm afraid so.  SpongeBob...,"Yes, Squidward?"
"Squidward: You know I hate you, right?","Yes.  Yes, I do."
"Squidward: Well, I hate the smell of burning Krabby Patties even more.  Please come back and be the fry cook again.","Well, if it's okay with you, Mr. Krabs."
"Mr. Krabs: Oh, laddy.  I shoulda never let you go. The Krusty Krab has fallen apart without you. You're rehired, boy.",All right! Now my life has purpose again!  Let's get this place cleaned up.
Squidward: Hmm.  Not exactly my color.,The Krusty Krab is back in business!
"Mr. Krabs: Well, SpongeBob, it looks like things are back to normal. And to make up for that extra nickel I was losing, I installed a pay toilet. Old Man Jenkins:  Oh, dear, where is that nickel?  Huh? Why are you laughing?","Okay, that's enough stretching."
Gary: Meow.,Now we're ready for a morning jog.
Gary: Meow!,"What's the matter, Gary? Don't you like jogging?"
"Gary: Meow, meow, meow.","Oh, right. You're a snail. Hm. We've got to find a way to get you moving. This should do it.  You'll tank me later. Hey, now you're moving."
"Gary: Meow, meow!",Whoa—ow!  I'm okay.  Ow!  Ow!  Yow!
Gary: Meow!,"Aww, poor Gary.  Looks like you could use a leg up.  Or maybe two. There! A perfect set of legs.  Now let's make some for you. This will only hurt for a second.  Yow!"
Gary:  Meow!  Meow.,"Voilà! What do you think, Gary?"
"Gary:  Me—ow, meow—meow.",Let's try 'em out. Come on. Come to SpongeBob.
Gary: Hm.,"Oh, your first steps."
Gary: Meow.,My little guy's growing up.  Now let's try something a little harder.
"Gary:  Meow, meow, meow.","Ooh, not bad. Try this."
"Gary:  Meow, meow, meow, meooow!","Nice moves.  Ow!  Ah!  The student has surpassed the master. Ready to stretch your stuff, Gare-bear?"
"Gary: Meow, meow.  Meow!","Hey, wait!  Whoa!"
"Gary: Meow, meow.",Oh!  Oy.  After you.
"Gary: Meow, meow.","Oh, yeah, that's right. You're not dreaming. Check it out. Snail with legs, people."
"Gary: Meow. Bikini Bottomites: Would you look at that. Well, that's certainly different.",Gary!
"Worm owner: Hey, control your snail, fella!",Sorry. Guess Gary's new legs got him a little excited.
"Gary:  Pow! Worm owner: You'll be hearing from my lawyer! Bikini Bottomites: What is your problem, man?","Oh, wh—s—sorry!"
Fred: His legs!,"Gary the snail, that was very naughty!"
Gary:  Meow.,Oh.  I can't stay mad at you.
Gary:  Meow!,"Whoa! I'm a little beat, Gary. Can you give me a hand with the door?"
Gary: Meow—ow.,"Looks like I should give you a hand, huh? Hm? Hm. Hmm.  Uh-huh. Uh-huh.  Yow!  They look a little tight in the shoulder."
"Gary:  Meow—meow, meow—meow.","Whoops! I accidentally gave you two left hands.  Boop! Perfect. Give 'em a test drive, Gary."
"Gary:  Meow, meow, meow...",Maybe you just need some motivation.
Gary: Meow.  Meow!,"You're doing it, Gary. Yes, yes! Keep it up, keep it up!  Ow! Yes, yes!"
Gary:  Meow!,"That's it, Gary.  Move the—  Move the—  Move those arms."
Gary: Meow—ow—ow—ow—ow—ow.  Meow?  Meow. Gary:  Meow. French Narrator: One Weekend of Pampering Later...,"Ow!  Yikes! Look at the time! I gotta get to the Krusty Krab.  Thanks for spoiling me, Gary. I didn't have to lift a finger.  My fingers...   Wha—!  A whole weekend of pampering has left my limbs in limbo.  Got. To go. To work.  Hm?  Too weak to flip Krabby Patties."
"Gary:  Ooh. Uh-oh. Customer #1: Excuse me, but I would like to complain! Mr. Krabs: I see. Well, the Krusty Krab takes customers feedback very seriously, sir. After they pay the $5.00 complaint fee. Customer #1: All right, fine. Mr. Krabs: Yee—hee—hee—hee.  Thank you, sir. Now what seems to be your problem? Customer #1: There is slime on my patty! Customer #2: And mine has— slime on it, too. Sheldon: My patty doesn't have enough slime! Mr. Krabs: What? Give me that.  Bleh! Ugh! Gah! SpongeBob! Just what do you think you're doing  changing me patty...  formula? Gary:  Meow. Meow—mow. Mr. Krabs: Squidward! Why is there a mollusk cooking me Krabby Patties? Squidward: I thought it was strangely quiet and peaceful today. Mr. Krabs: Where the halibut is SpongeBob? Squidward: Maybe he quit? Or got hit by a bus?! Or caught a terminal disease! Mr. Krabs: I don't care if he turned into a bucket of chum. I need me fry cook!  Mr. Squidward, you have the helm. Squidward:  Attention Krusty Krab customers: Get out. It's time for my break. Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob! SpongeBob? SpongeBob? Are you okay in there? You catch the flu or something? Ugh. Are you at death's door? Because you know darn well they ain't valid excuses to miss work!  Ah! SpongeBob has gone full raving loony.  Uh-oh! Gary: ♪Meow—meow—meow—meow—meow—meow—meow. Meow—meow—meow—meow—meow—meow.♪ Gary: Meow? Mr. Krabs: What in the name of Neptune's nostrils is going on in here?! SpongeBob, you're acting like you're the pet and that darn snail is the owner! Gary:  Meow! Meow—meow—meow. Mr. Krabs:  Bad snail! Down boy!  SpongeBob, what are you— Oh, snap out of it, SpongeBob!",Mr. Krabs?
"Mr. Krabs: Have you completely lost your mind, boy-o? Snails ain't supposed to have arms and legs.","Aww, but Gary is so happy with his new limbs."
"Mr. Krabs: Oh, is he? Well, it's time to cut this nonsense!  Ay!  Huh-hah! Gary:  Meow.","Mr. Krabs, I'm sorry I forgot who I was."
"Mr. Krabs: That's okay, boy-o.","And Gary, I am so sorry I tried to change you. And Patrick, I'm sorry I haven't returned your hat yet."
Patrick:  It's okay...,"Hm?  Well, I guess I shouldn't let these go to waste. I can always use an extra hand"
"Mr. Krabs:  All right, all right. That's enough Sponge-bobbery for today, boy-o.  Time to get you flipping patties again.","Ah, sure is nice having everything back to normal, isn't it Gare-bear?  Yup. Same old, same old."
Gary: Meow—ow.  Meow. Meow.,"Oops! Sorry.  Boop-boop. Nothing like a fresh frozen Krabby Patty with extra freezer burn flavor.  Here we go... Hmm, grill look a tad dirty."
"Customer: Yeah, I like to order... Squidward: Hold that thought.  SpongeBob, what is all that r... Customer: Uh, so I like to order...",Say! Who wants...the first patty from our freshly cleaned grill?!
Customer:  I would like a Krabby Patty.!,"Okay! How about you, Squid-"
Squidward: No! I do not want a Krabby Patty!,You suuure?
Squidward: Don't touch me. Customer: Why don't you want a Krabby Patty? Squidward: I've seen what he cleans the grill with.,"Now all I need is a fresh patty. Hey, where'd all this water come from?  There we go. Oh my stars and garters, the sink is clogged up.  Safety.  Now what seem to be the trouble?  Patrick, what happened?"
"Patrick: There I was, walking along, just minding my own business and then BOOM!  Some dumbbell put this thing in the way.  Whatcha doing?",Trying to see what has this sink all backed up. Would you excuse me a second?
Patrick: Uh-huh.,"Ah-ha!  Oh, this is easy. All I have to do is pull the drain plug.  Pull the drain plug. Pull the drain plug. Pull the drain plug. The drain plug. The drain plug. The drain plug. The drain plug."
"Mr. Krabs:  THE DRAIN PLUG!?!?!?  SpongeBob!!!  What in Neptune's bathtub do you think you're doing, lad?","The sink is clogged, so I was going to pull out the drain plug."
Mr. Krabs: Stop messing with that drain plug! Are you daft?,"Why don't you want me to pull out the drain plug, Mr. Krabs?"
"Mr Krabs: Why don't I, but...hmm...one sec.  Time for a scary story boys. The story......of the Main Drain.  Patrick. Patrick: Sorry. Mr. Krabs: As I was saying... It happened a long time ago... Patrick! ...to a pair of little kids. Patrick:  Two little kids? Mr. Krabs: Anyway,  it said that the Main Drain beckoned to them, putting them under its spell. Green Kid: ♪Dadadada-dum-da-dumdumdum.♪ Orange Kid: Whooooo. Mr. Krabs:  One day, those two kids were wandering through the ocean, when they stumble upon it. Kids: Huh? Mr. Krabs:  The Main Drain. Kids: Mr. Krabs: Legend has it that their curiosity got the best of 'em.  And they pulled the plug.  The entire ocean rusted in the drain and sucked those two kids right down.  The drain was so powerful, it pulled all of Bikini Bottom into its gaping maw, causing an apocalypse to the sea!  And nobody was ever heard from...again.","Where is the Main Drain, Mr. Krabs?"
"Mr. Krabs: Well it right, I...I don't know where it is, and I'm certainly not going to tell you.  So, so, so get out of here and stay away from that drain! No plugs will be pulled on my watch. Patrick: Mr. Krabs sure has a lot of baggage about drain dealies.","The Main Drain sounds very, very dangerous. I'm never gonna go near that thing."
Patrick: We should go find it! To protect it from people like us.,What if we get sucked in like those other two kids!
"Patrick: Ohh, don't worry, we're not little kids. We're all grown up!  Hey! A baby tooth!",Who's been at Bikini Bottom for as long as Mr. Krabs?
Plankton: Owwwww! Patrick: Ewwwwww...,"Oh, Hi Plankton!"
Plankton: EEEEEEOOOOOWWWWWWWW!!!! Patrick: Let's ask Plankton. He's a geezer. Plankton: What stupid question do you want the answer to? Idiots.,"Patrick, and I are trying to find the Main Drain"
"Plankton:  The Main Drain? What are you to bothering me for? I mean I-I don't know where the Main Drain is. It's a myth anyway, it doesn't exist.","Yeah, but Mr. Krabs said-"
"Plankton: Krabs?! Why that- Well, he was just telling you a fish tail. There's no such thing as a Drain at the bottom of the sea. So go on, scram, shoe, get outta here! Plankton: Why on earth would Krabs tell those two blunderers about the Main Drain?",I wonder who else knows about the Main Drain...
Both:  Old Man Jenkins! Old Man Jenkins: Why are you two asking about the Main Drain?,Mr. Krabs told us a story of how the Main Drain once destroyed Bikini Bottom.
Patrick: So we've been looking for it!,Does the Main Drain even exist?
"Old Man Jenkins: Ohhhh, it exists alright. But it's been...uhhh... hushed up.","Where is the Drain oh, wise Jenkins?"
Old Man Jenkins: I have no idea.,Patrick! We need to find that Drain!
Patrick: Why?,Isn't your curiosity piqued? What if somebody accidentally pulls it? What if- What if-
"Patrick:  Oh man, I hope this question;s not for me. I hate questions.","What do you think, Patrick?"
"Patrick: Dah-uhhh! 42. No, triangle! Meatballs! Screwdrivers! Pajamas!",I hear ya' Patrick! Let's go find that Main Drain!
Patrick: Okay.,Let's start walkin'
"Patrick: Oh, no thanks. I'm not into the whole walking thing.","But, Patrick how are we gonna get to the center of the ocean?"
Patrick: Wait for it to come to us.,"Hmmmm...I have a better idea!  Well, what do you think?"
Patrick: I love it! Both:  ROAD TRIP!! WOAAAAAH!!!!,"Well, that's out."
Both: Hmmmm...,I know!!
SpongeBob and Patrick:  AAAAAAAAAAAH!!!! Squidward:  Another miserable day...,Ohh. How are we gonna find the center of the ocean now?
SpongeBob and Patrick: Hmmmmm... Patrick: Oh! Oh! I know exactly what to do!  NEEIIGGHH Squidward: Owwwwwww. That's better...,Doin' great Patrick! We'll be there in no time!
"Patrick:  Owww. Oh.  Huh, I found it!",Wow. Good job...
Patrick: Let's pull it.,WHAT?!?!?! Why would we do that?!
"Patrick: Well, that was the whole point of coming here right?",NOOO!!!! We came to see if it was real!
"Patrick: Well, how do we know if this one is a fake?",We- We don't know...
Patrick: We won't know unless we pull it!,"But...if we pull it, and if it's real, the world may end!"
"Patrick: And if we don't, we'll never know... Both: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Mr. Krabs: Boys, there's more to that story about the Drain! You see... Plankton: We were the two ding-a-lings who pulled that plug. SpongeBob and Patrick: Mr. Krabs: That's right one day, Plankton and I were wandering around. Young Krabs and Plankton:  Huh? Young Plankton: Young Krabs:   Mother of pearl! Mr. Krabs: You see, we had to lie to keep you from lookin' for it. Plankton: We just didn't want you to make the same mistake we made.",Pheeeww. That was a close one...
"Patrick: Yeah, We almost messed up big time. Pheeeww.",Huh?
"SpongeBob, Mr. Krabs and Plankton: Patrick: Bikini Bottomies: Patrick:  It's the most realistic story I've ever heard!","Boy, I can't wait to show Sandy my new karate moves,  oh, Sandy, aaah...  Sandy is in trouble. Don't worry, Sandy, I'm coming to save you!"
Fuzzy Acorns: Who is this intruder that fails to attack me? Sandy: That's my friend: SpongeBob SquarePants.,Whoa...what was that stench?
Fuzzy Acorns: That is what we in karate call; the Smell of Death!,You know kah-ra-tay?
"Sandy: He doesn't just know karate, he IS karate.  He is the legendary karate master, Fuzzy Acorns. Fuzzy is here to test me for the highest belt in karate.","But, Sandy, you already have a black belt."
"Sandy: Yes, but there's one even higher than that!  The blacker belt!",Gee...I wish I had a karate belt
"Fuzzy Acorns:  If you want a belt, you must earn it.",Okay? How do I do that?
Fuzzy Acorns: You got caught in the eyes? What do you think I'm here for!?,Hm?
"Fuzzy Acorns: I am the mighty oak, and you are but a sapling!",Um...sorry. I'm confused.
Fuzzy Acorns: I am here to separate that wheat from the chaff! No?  That last one usually works... Sandy: What Fuzzy is trying to say is that he is here to judge whether anyone is worthy of getting a karate belt or not.,But how can anyone ever truly know whether he or she is worthy?
"Fuzzy Acorns: It is simple. I conduct a series of tests, and if you pass,  I'll give you a belt that shows you know karate. Fuzzy Acorns: The first test is simple. Split a log with one hand chop, like so.  Your turn,  Karate Man.","Mm-mmm! Yeah, okay."
Fuzzy Acorns: Please proceed.,Okay! Prepare to see the split of your life!
"Fuzzy Acorns: Mastery of this test will show me you're ready for the next level of karate-dom!  Alright, your turn!",In turn I will!
"Fuzzy Acorns: Just do the thing with the thing please!  We shall settle this on the battlefield tomorrow! You two will fight each other! If I see you have the skill of real hand-to-hand combat, I will award you with karate belts.  Otherwise, you get nothing.","Oh, wait! Sensei!"
Fuzzy Acorns: No more talk! Only do! Sandy:  Better run on home and practice SpongeBob! See you tomorrow! Narrator: Early the next morning...,My match!  I can't get outta here!
Gary: Meow...,Thanks Gary!
Gary: Meow meow. Fuzzy Acorns: Where is the soft one!? That match starts in... Right now!,Here...I'm right here... I've readied myself...into a full state of readiness...and I am ready...to be ready...I'm so tired...I'm so tired...so very tired...
"Sandy: You sure you want to do this buddy? Fuzzy Acorns: Enough talk! If you want your belt, you gonna have to tussle it out! So let the match begin!",Alright! Brace yourself Sandy! 'Cause it's about to get rough and tumble!
"Sandy:  Okay, SpongeBob! You gotta catch me first! Fuzzy Acorns: Most impressive, Sandy. But I am here to evaluate SpongeBob.  Let's see what he can do on the offensive!",Okay Sandy!  Prepare for my finishing move! I call it The Sleeper!
"Sandy: Huh? Fuzzy Acorns: Very good, Sandy! You put your opponent to sleep in under a minute!  Too bad your opponent didn't put up a fight. I was prepared to give you the lowest of belts,  The Clear Belt!  But now, I realize you're unfit to wear a belt of any kind, including the one that holds up your pants! Sandy: Don't be disappointed, SpongeBob. A belt isn't the most important thing in karate.","Easy for you to say, Sandy. Your pants aren't down right around your ankles."
"Fuzzy Acorns:  And I'm revoking your black belt! Sandy: Hey! You can't do that! Fuzzy Acorns: Oh, yes I can! For wasting my time bringing me this sorry, excuse for a student! Stick to something you're good at, son.",Yes Sensei...
"Sandy: That was pretty low-down, Fuzzy. The way you humiliated my friend. Fuzzy Acorns: The Sponge-One will never earn his belt. Sandy: I know SpongeBob will impress you if you give him one more chance! Fuzzy Acorns: Silence! No more chances! Sensei never gives two chances! If you really want to impress me, show me where I can get a decent meal around here. Lunch time approaches. Sandy: That's it! I'll take him to the Krusty Krab and then he might just find himself impressed by a certain sandwich maker! Fuzzy Acorns: Who're you talking to? Squidward: Come on, SpongeBob! What's wrong with you!? Get grilling!",Squidward I...I failed my karate exam...
"Squidward:  Which is why I keep telling you: Never try anything new, ever! Stick to what you're good at! And stick to it soon!","Stick to what I'm good at? Hey, Squidward's right!"
Sandy: You sure you don't need an air helmet? Fuzzy Acorns: This won't take long. Fuzzy has trained himself to go hours without air. Sandy: How about them moves? Fuzzy Acorns: Pretty okay...for a fry cook! Squidward: SpongeBob! Twenty more orders here!,Twenty! Got it Squidward!
"Sandy: Well, that took some agility! Fuzzy Acorns: Simple parlor tricks!  Yah, a Kung-Fu charlatan! Sandy: Now you're convinced! Fuzzy Acorns: I've seen better! Sandy: Hey, SpongeBob! I like my patty in twelfths, please!","Okay! There you go, Sandy!"
"Fuzzy Acorns: Huh!? Maybe squishy boy is more skilled than I first thought! Sandy: Told ya! Fuzzy Acorns: Not so fast, Squirrel Cheeks! The only way to truly know is to test him myself! Harold: Hey, waiter! An empty plate!?",Oh! I forgot the fries!
"Fuzzy Acorns:  Now, I see you're a skilled opponent! With a cold-blooded heart of a warrior!",Sigh...You little Krabby Patties are so cute! Hmm...something's not right here.  It's the onions! They've gone bad!
"Fuzzy Acorns: He's on the offensive!  Time for you to end this! Sandy: That's showing him, SpongeBob!  You gonna give him a belt Fuzzy? Or have you not had enough yet? Fuzzy Acorns: You brought me to the dance, but the universe is cutting in! Sandy: Huh?","Okay, looking good!"
Fuzzy Acorns: Sponge-Man!  Smell the vibrations!,Make the fires! I almost forgot!
Squidward: More Patties!,"Grilling them now!  Your fries, sir!  And your fries, sir! Ketchup?  Oops!  Got it! Gasp! Fuzzy!"
Sandy: Oh no!,Sensei Fuzzy! You okay?
"Fuzzy Acorns: I was wrong about you, SpongeBob. You have bested Fuzzy, with your karate greatness!  You are now a karate master!","For me? Thanks, Fuzzy! Fuzzy? You look terrible!  Sandy, what's wrong with Fuzzy?"
"Sandy: I know what he needs! He just needs this! Fuzzy Acorns: No more talk, only do! Sandy my dear, for holding your own against the sponge, you have truly proven yourself worthy of the Blacker Belt! Sandy and SpongeBob: Thanks, Fuzzy! Fuzzy Acorns: Why must the universe confound me so!? Plankton:  Attention, beach-goers! You are trespassing! You have exactly 17 minutes to haul your carcasses off the future site of the  'Chum Bucket Mega Bucket.' Tina: Do you hear something? Plankton:  Okay, have it your way. I don't mind bulldozing over each and every one-- Billy:  Mommy, look! Somebody left this toy tractor here. Evelyn: Put that down, Billy, that has germs on it. Billy:  Aw, mom. Plankton:  You'll see.  You'll all see! The future site of the Chum Bucket Mega Bucket must be clear to these cretinous beachgoers. But it's becoming increasingly obvious... I can deny it no longer...  I am small. I need someone big to clear the beach for me. I need...  SpongeBob!",Steppin' on the beach! Doo-doo-doo-doo! Steppin' on the beach! Doo-doo-doo-doo! Steppin' on the beach! Doo-doo-doo-doo! Steppin' on the beach! Doo-doo-doo-doo!
Plankton: Yes. He's the one.,I'll have one...
"Monroe: Two, please.  Thanks.","One, please."
Eel: 'Scuse me.,"One, please."
"Lou: Sorry, kid. We're all out.","Aww, barnacles.  Plankton, what are you doing here? And why are you crying?"
"Plankton: Oh, hi, SpongeBob.  I'm cryin' because I've got these two ice cream cones, but I only need one!  I don't know what to do with the other one!",I'll eat one of those ice cream cones for ya.
Plankton: SpongeBob! Would you do that for me?,Sure!
Plankton: SpongeBob...  SpongeBob?  SPONGEBOB!!!,Yeah?
"Plankton: Isn't it great to get the things you desire? Like that ice cream cone, for instance.  You can have anything you want with a little training.",Training?
Plankton: Yes. You just have to learn to be more assertive. And I can show you how.,"Assertive, huh?"
Plankton: That's right.,Anything I want.  Sounds great!
"Plankton: Wonderful.  SpongeBob, don't let that guy sit on you! Assertiveness lesson #1: tell him to get off!","Umm, excuse me, sir, you're sitting on my body, which is also my face."
"Plankton: No, no, be assertive!","...beep, beep!"
"Plankton: NOT INSERTIVE!  SpongeBob, you missed your chance! You've got to be aggressive to get the things you want! You're too soft!",But I'm a spo...
Plankton: Don't say it!  There's the guy who took your ice cream. Don't you want it back?,Ice cream!
"Plankton: Listen, you! My friend's got something to say! Eel: What, who said that?  Was it you? Plankton: Tell him off, SpongeBob. Assert yourself!",That's my ice cream cone!
Plankton: Great! Now let him have it!,You can have it.
"Eel: Say, thanks! Plankton: No!  I'll show ya how!  Hey, pencil neck!  Yeah, you... slither over here!  Surrender that ice cream cone, or every waking moment for you will become a swirling torrent of pain and misery!","Hey, that guy was crying!"
Plankton: Those were tears of joy! He was happy that you were assertive!,Yeah!
"Plankton: You see how wonderful life can be, when you're maniacal?","Uhh, I thought it was called assertive."
Plankton: Whatever.,"Well, if it got me this ice cream, then I like it!  I found something!"
"Scooter Like Fish: Uhh, excuse me, my metal detector broke. Can I use yours?",Sure!
"Plankton: SpongeBob, this is your next lesson. Be aggressive! Tell that guy to take a hike!","Hey, do you want to take a hike with me?"
Scooter Like Fish: Yeah! Plankton:  ...NOW LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE! Tell that guy to go fall in a ditch!,Hey! Go check in that ditch!
Scooter Like Fish: Wow! Buried treasure! Thanks!,"Did you see that, Plankton? That guy found some buried treasure!"
"Plankton: SpongeBob, you'll never get it right! Tell that guy you know karate and you'll tie him in a knot if you don't get your metal detector back!",Hey! I'm gonna tie your shoe if you don't give that back!
Fish: But I'm wearing sandals!,"Okay, never mind!  It's alright, Plankton, he's wearing sandals. What's the matter?"
"Plankton:  Oh, nothing, SpongeBob.  I was just beginning to think that this was a waste of time.",No it's not!
Plankton: Forget it! I guess you don't have what it takes to be a stand-up guy.,But what about airline food?
Plankton: What?,"Airline food. My gosh, what is up with that stuff? Thank you, good night!  See, I can be a stand-up guy. See?"
"Plankton: SpongeBob, you'll never get what you want! You'll always let people step all over you! You're just like stairs!","Wait, Plankton, give me another chance!"
"Plankton: Okay, but this is your last chance!  Look at all those beach hogs soaking up your sun rays. Do you have what it takes to get a tan?","Just watch me!  Man, this thing is sandy!"
"Fred: My leg! Plankton: Yes, my plan is beginning to work! They're leaving the beach!  SpongeBob, that was wonderful! Is that an all-over tan?","Well, not all of me."
Hot Dog Man: Hot dogs! Hot dogs! Plankton: Look at that huge line at the hot dog stand. Assert yourself to the front!,I'll do better than that!
"Plankton: SpongeBob, that was genius! Look at all those kite fliers blocking your view!",What?
"Plankton: Breaking your wind! Larry: Hey, SpongeBob, throw us the ball!","Plankton, did you see that? I was a regular alpha-male!  Plankton?  Plankton, all my asserting is driving everybody away!"
Plankton: Exactly.,You didn't tell me everyone would leave.
Plankton: Oops.,Mega Bucket?! You used me... FOR LAND DEVELOPMENT!  That wasn't nice!
"Plankton: Haven't you figured it out, SpongeBob? Nice guys finish last. Only aggressive people conquer the world!","Well, what about aggressively nice people?"
"Plankton: Huh? What are you doing?!  Wait, SpongeBob! Stop!  Butterfly kisses... can't take it... it's too cute... it's disgusting!",What happened?
"Scooter: I hit a reef with my new board, dude!",No problem!
"Scooter: Whoa!  Killer! Plankton: SpongeBob, stop! Before it's too late! Your kindness is bringing everybody back! Get back!  Wait! Scooter: Cowabunga! Thanks, dude! That was awesome!","Gee, Plankton, I'm sorry about the Chum Bucket."
Plankton: Forget about that. I just can't take so much kindness in one sitting.  NEED... HATRED...,"Volleyball, anyone?  Serve up! Aaa! Ouch! Aaa! Ouch! Aaa! Ouch!"
"Mr. Krabs: Alright, hold on a second there, free-loader! What are you doing here? Patrick: I'm here for lunch. Mr. Krabs: Did you bring money this time? Patrick:  Yes! Mr. Krabs: Let me see that.  Alright, tastes real. Now get in line! Patrick:  Yes, sir! Bill: Hey, how's that new executive treatment sandwich treating you? Cause it's hitting all the quadrants of my hunger markets. Patrick:  Mmm, quadrants! Bill: You know, it reminds me of something I was thinking about business the other day. Harold: The satisfaction earnings of the fourth quarter of my lunch are off the charts! Bill: And I love the way it tastes! Yellow Executive: And business, my friend, is the business I'm talking about. Marv: Well, one can't have business without business right? Yellow Executive: Interesting point, Marv. How's your sandwich? Marv: Absolutely spectacular! This new menu item is the business plan I can really get behind! Executive: I tell you, this is one dynamic little sandwich. Shubie: With levels of proactiveness that are off the charts. Business wise. Executive: It really appeals to my demographic. Shubie: Well, you are an executive in a fast-paced world of business. Executive: Ha, ha! That's for sure! Patrick:  These guys talk funny words. Squidward: Oh, yeah. They're a riot. What can I get ya? Patrick: I guess I'll have one of these business sandwiches everybody's talking about. Squidward: Ah, the executive treatment. Patrick: Is that what you call it? Squidward: Well, that's what Mr. Krabs makes me call it. It's really just a Krabby Patty that costs more. And SpongeBob wears a different tie when he makes it. Patrick: Oh, wow! I'll take seven! Squidward: Oh, I'm sorry, sir. The executive treatment is available to executives only. I'm not sorry. Patrick: But I never wanted anything so much in my whole life! Since this morning when I wanted a donut-night at the Donut and it was great! The donut is gone!  The donut is gone! Squidward:  First of all, a lot of that donut, it's still on your face! Patrick: Now, where's my executive treatment? Squidward: I told you, it's for executives only! And you aren't even dressed like an executive! I could of course sell you  the official Krusty Krab business tie for only 10 dollars. Patrick: Will the tie let me order the executive treatment? Squidward: Not on its own, no. But you could Krabby-size the tie with and get a pair of  business glasses for additional 10 dollars. Patrick:  Well, I'd be stupid not to! Squidward: Well, you're half right. Patrick: Here's your 20 bucks. Squidward: Here's your glasses. Patrick: Thanks! I'll take one executive treatment, my good man.",Here's your executive treatment!
"Squidward:  Here you go. Patrick: Oh, man!  It looks executively delicious! Marv: Carl, what are you doing standing around at a time like this? We're gonna be late for the big brainstorming meeting! Patrick: But! But!  Save my sandwich for me, Squidward! Squidward! Squidward:  I'll save it alright. I'll just put it here in the circular files. Mr. Krabs:  What are you doing throwing away a perfectly sellable sandwich?! Patrick: No!  No!  No!  Not 4-B! No! Marv: Wow! You're very upset about conference room 4-B. And I can't say I blame you. Because conference room 4-B is the most terrifying conference room in the whole building. More people have been fired in here than all the other conference rooms combined!  Save it for the big brainstorming meeting!  Right here is where all the biggest business decisions in the business are made. Why if an impostor were to be caught in here, hmm... Patrick: He'd be given a sandwich and sent on his way? Marv: No, he'd be convicted as a corporate spy and sent to jail forever and ever and ever. Hey, where are you going? Patrick: I think I’ve forgot to water my manatee I'll just--? Stockholder Eel: Gentlemen, please. Patrick:  Where am I? Stockholder Eel: Exactly. I like you, young man. Everybody scoot down and so he can sit next to me. And I won't intimidate him at all by my terrifyingly largeness and proximity. As this junior executive so eloquently put it, “Where exactly are we?” Marv: Ah, sir, if you take a look at this  I believe you'll agree that we’re perfectly positioned for our marketing to be number one across the business sector. Stockholder Eel: I need a straight answer, not a bunch of meaningless charts! What do you give a disappointed stockholder to make him feel better? Patrick: A sandwich? Harold: Get a load of this guy! A sandwich! Marv: This guy has sandwiches on the brain! Patrick:  No I don't! Tom: That's just about the silliest piece of idea! Stockholder Eel: Alright, hold it! Now all of you just hold it right there! It's easy to laugh and judge and heap a man with scholar when you hear an idea that stands out because it's so unusual.  So, everybody, just stop and think for a minute about what your colleague is really trying to say because I want to be the one to tell him, That’s the silliest thing I’ve ever heard. Patrick: What if I had a meaningless chart? Stockholder Eel: Yes, maybe I was too hasty about that.  Well, you're definitely giving a new meaning to the word “meaningless”. Patrick: Oh, wait!  And here's a little house with smoke coming out of the chimney. See what I mean?  I guess he likes my chart, 'cause he's smiling. Marv: He smiles like that when he's really angry. Patrick: Do you slap your palms down on the table like that too? Stockholder Eel:  Yes. Patrick: Oh. Stockholder Eel: I don't know who you are, but you better not be an impostor. Do you know what happens to impostors in conference room 4-B? Patrick: Well, uh, let's see. Uh, don't tell me! I-I know it's not sandwiches. They don't get sandwiches. Do they? Stockholder Eel:  Mister, this is the last straw!  Now, I'm just going to give you just 18 more chances to prove yourself. Narrator: Montage. Stockholder Eel: Jenkins! Jenkins: Yes, sir? Stockholder Eel: Mustache. Jenkins: Here you are sir. Patrick:  And so in conclusion, I would like to submit my official report. Stockholder Eel: You know, kid. We need somebody like you around here. Patrick: You do? Stockholder Eel: For me to fire! Patrick: Oh, yeah? Well, I’ve got a surprise for you.  You can't fire me! I'm not an executive at all! I'm just a guy who happens to like sandwiches! So, go ahead! Send me away forever as a corporate spy if you want to! But not before I've had my say! Officer Rob: You have a visitor. Patrick: Who is it?","Hello, Patrick."
"Patrick: Hi, SpongeBob.","Hey, I heard you're in charge of the laundry room on Thursdays. That's nice."
"Patrick: Yeah. Well, it's pretty nice I guess.",You know what that makes you?
Patrick: Nuh-uh.,An executive!
"Patrick: Oh, wait! Oh, is that what I think it is?!",Uh-huh! An executive treatment!
"Officer Rob:  What happened to prisoner 665321? Patrick: Let's go home, SpongeBob.","Okay, but who are you?  No seriously. Who are you? Founders Day is here today, Squidward is this even?"
Squidward:  A little higher. A little to the left. A little more to the left. Ha- Perfect!  Oww.,"Wow, Mr. Krabs really loves Founder's Day!"
"Squidward:  No, he doesn't!",But just look at him go!
"Squidward: This is the day he gets the patty orders for the big Founder's Day eating contest, it's the most money Krabs makes all year.","Well it's not just that, Mr. Krabs has a lot of love in his heart for this town."
"Mr. Krabs:  Nope, Squidward's right. Not only do I supply the Eating Contest but I get to sell my profilating patties to all the hungry spectators! I had to grease a few wheels but it was worth it. Commissioner: Thanks Krabs! Mr. Krabs: Sure thing, Mr. Commissioner! See you at Founders' Day! Mr. Krabs: ♪Oh, I wonder wonder wonder how many Patties must be made♪ Squidward: Wonder no longer, you only need one. Mr. Krabs:  ♪rednow rednow rednow I, ho. edam eb tsum seittap♪  What do you mean one?! Squidward: Didn't you see today's newspaper? Mr. Krabs:  No takers for 'McNulty Challenge'. Ha! What's that suppose to mean? Squidward: He's the current champion. He only needs to eat one patty to win. Mr. Krabs:  I'm ruined! No-one wants to see a one Krabby Patty Eating Contest, least of all me wallet.",Hey at least we have Founders Day!
"Mr. Krabs: I couldn't give a seafit for Founders Day. I need sales boy, sales is what I need. Oh if only there was someone dumb and hungry enough to take on Ol' Oswald McNulty. Patrick: Patrick:  I'll just have 47 Krabby Patties, please. I had a big breakfast so I'm not that hungry.  Squidward did you get a new haircut? Mr. Krabs: Ah! Dumb and hungry. Well, if it isn't Patrick! Patrick: I isn't Patrick? Mr. Krabs: No, no of course you are! How would you like to eat as many Krabby Patties as you can handle and restore the honor of your home town. Patrick: I like the first part but I don't understand the second part. Mr. Krabs: I'm talking about Oswald McNulty! He comes here every year with his big city ways and his extremely relaxed throat muscles and he shows us up a bunch of rubes. Rubes! And on Founders Day no less! We need a home-town hero to make me lots of mone- I mean return the belt to Bikini Bottom! He-he, He-he. Mr. Krabs: You're going up against the best, so you have to be the best! We're gonna light a fire under you boy-o! Patrick:  Ah! Oh no, that's gonna hurt! Mr. Krabs: Listen up, Mister. No more fooling around, you're here to eat and eat and then eat some more. Patrick:  I like to eat! Mr. Krabs: Well let's see how your tummy handles these patties Mr. likes-to-eat. Patrick:  Ha-ha-ha, you said tummy.",Tummies! Ha-ha-ha
"Patrick:  I like whistles! Mr. Krabs: Eat! Mr. Krabs: What are you doin'? Your wastin' time! Patrick: Gotta warm up my taste buds first. Mr. Krabs: Son, can you eat faster? Patrick: Oh, faster? Mr. Krabs:  Four and a half patties in one minute! Well McNulty can eat a hundred in a minute! But you know I think your teeth might be getting in the way a little bit- Patrick: Oh, why didn't you say so. Mr. Krabs: Ooh, I didn't know you had false teeth. Patrick:  I don't Mr. Krabs: Nah, that can't be it, McNulty has teeth. SpongeBob! Let's go to the film. Mr. Krabs: Look at that devious face, a face without pity, cold dead eyes, like a sharks eyes. What is Oswald McNulty doin' that Patrick Star is not! Patrick: His homework? Mr. Krabs:  Or maybe we should be asking what Oswald McNulty is not doing.",His taxes?
"Mr. Krabs: Your both wrong! Or possibly right, I mean I don't know much about his personal life, the point is, he's not tasting boys,  That's where Oswald McNulty has  the edge! Those extra seconds you take to taste a patty Patrick, are slowing you down! From now on  You must put them in yer mouth, then swallow! Patrick:  I don't get to taste?",This feels wrong Mr. Krabs.
"Mr. Krabs:  Don't act bad bucket boy, we're gonna need a hundred more patties.","Okay, i'll get right on it."
"Mr. Krabs: We're gonna teach this sea star, a new way to eat! Without tasting. Fred: There he goes! Thaddeus: Our champion! Sadie: He's so dreamy! Mr. Krabs:  Come one, come all! This Sunday, Sunday, Sunday! It's a Founders Day extravaganza! Watch our home town hero, Patrick Star, take on the down the beloved champion from three towns over, Oswald McNulty! And see who takes, The Patty Belt! Diner Fish: Say, can my little boy ask you something? Boy with a Broken Foot: Are you the brave man that's gonna bring the belt back to Bikini Bottom? Patrick: Diner Fish: Inspiring words! Boy with a Broken Foot: I hurted my foot on the playground. Mr. Krabs: Yeah, yeah, that's wonderful, move back. Be sure to bring your friends! Boy with a Broken Foot: Dad, is that the bad man who took the belt away from Bikini Bottom? Diner Fish: Yes it is son. Perch Perkins: Looks like this crowd is hungry! For excitement that is, and also possibly food, any moment now these doors will open on what promises to be the most dynamic patty eating contest, in Founders Day history. Mr. Krabs: Krabby Patties, T-shirts, conical hats, and, Patrick's chompers! Perch Perkins: Today, our local hero, Patrick Star, the courageous underdog, is going against five time belt winner, Oswald McNulty from three towns over, one can only imagine the seeding tension pulling over right now, between these two titans of the sport, as they prepare for ultimate battle. Patrick:  Hey. Oswald McNulty: How's it going. Perch Perkins:  Five short minutes to consume as many patties as they can.",Who's ready!
"Patrick: SpongeBob, I don't wanna do this.","Well then don't do it, i'm sure Mr. Krabs will understand."
"Mr. Krabs:  I smell mutiny, what's going on here? Patrick: I don't want to eat in the contest it hurts my taste feelings. Mr. Krabs: Oh, no problem,  here. Patrick: What's that? Mr. Krabs: That, is a bill, for all those Krabby Patties you ate during training. Patrick: But I didn't know I had to pay! Mr. Krabs: Well I didn't know either until you decided you weren't doing the contest, and that means all your training patties, just became plain, eating patties. Now if you was to do the contest, I might be inclined to tear up this here little bill, and of course, there are all the people counting on you son. Boy with a Broken Foot: Ow, my foot. Patrick: Okay, i'll do it for the little boy with the hurt foot. Mr. Krabs:  You made the right choice kid! Perch Perkins: There's the bell! And we're off and eating.  McNulty taking an early lead and really going to work with those patties, what a dynamo! A little skull from three towns over eating at a terrific pace! But what's this?  Patrick Star isn't moving, he seems stuck in the gate! Mr. Krabs: What are you doing Patrick? Don't make me charge you for those patties too! Perch Perkins: McNulty is pressing forward, looks like this is gonna be a blowout! Boy with a Broken Foot: Patrick,  I believe in you Patrick. Perch Perkins: But wait! Patrick Star is on the move, patties are starting to disappear, look at that little sea star eat! He's inching closer to McNulty, and it look like McNulty can feel the heat, never have there been a more pretentious display of competitive eating! The amount of patties being consumed is astounding.  And now, yes, yes! Patrick Star has matched Oswald McNulty! And they are tied as they come into the home stretch! Both eaters are so full they could barely eat but eat they do, moving so slowly now. One can't help but wonder if they are going to hit the patty wall at some point. And, and,  Both eaters have stopped! With only seconds left, we are tied in patties eaten, and neither one seems to have the room to go on! Oh! What is this?  And down goes McNulty, down goes McNulty!  It looks like we do have a tie! Patrick: It's over SpongeBob, I can't go on.","The taste, Patrick,  Remember the taste!"
"Patrick: The taste. Perch Perkins: What's this? Patrick Star has risen from his seat, and is pointing to center field,  No wait! He's pointing to a little boy with a hurt foot.  Ladies and gentleman, he's pointing to his mouth, as if to indicate something. Boy with a Broken Foot:  Here you go champ, you can have one. Perch Perkins: And, he's eating! He's eating! The Great Starbino, is eating!  Patrick Star wins! The belt is back in Bikini Bottom! The belt is back in Bikini Bottom! Commissioner: Here you go son, you earned it fat and square. Perch Perkins: Congratulations, Starbino. So, are you gonna defend the belt next year? Patrick: No, this thing doesn't even fit! Boy with a Broken Foot: Ow! My other foot. Nat: Neptune's stirred up quite a gale tonight. He must be mad about something. Shubie: Ha! Hahahaha! That's silly. Everyone knows Poseidon is ruler of the undersea.  Oh. My leftovers. Nat: Nooo!  Why, dear Neptune?","Mmmm-mmmm. Goulash.  Hey, out there! You dropped your goulash! Hello?  My pores are whistling in the wind.  Hahahahaha! That tickles!  Aww. The little critter likes my whistling pores.  That tickles!"
"Moon:  My shift's over. Sun: Time for work, SpongeBob.","All right, Jelly, out you go.  It's been real fun, but I gotta get to work.  Quite a wind this morning, eh, Jelly?  Whoa!  Hey, Sparky, can you tell your friends I don't have time to play right now?  Hahaha! No, please! Stop it! Please stop!  Whoa!  Oh! I'm going to be late!  I told you guys, I don't have time to play!  I have not been tardy one time in my career as a fry cook, and I'm not going to start today!"
Jellyfish: Hahaha!,I need to call in some help.  My fingers are too big for the buttons.
"Mr. Krabs: Hello, this be the Krusty Krab.",Mr. Krabs! I need you!
"Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob! Where you been? Customers are blowin' in here like nobody's business!  and lands on his face, then gets in line]","I am sorry, Mr. Krabs, but these jellyfish don't want me to go to work!"
Mr. Krabs: Jellyfish?,They're attracted to my whistley holes.
"Mr. Krabs: Uh, I'll never understand what you just said. But if it's transportation you need, I know just the thing.  Gotcha! Hmm? Ooh, this one's puttin' up a fight.  It's fightin' too hard!  If you're gonna reel him in, Krabs, you gotta wear him down. Give him a little slack,  then yank!  Give a little slack, then yank!  There he is. Ready for work.  Draw back the point, now get in there and start pushing out them patties.","Aye aye, sir.  Let's get these patties started right! Wooooh! That gives me an idea. Order up! *humming* Ooh, hoohoo!  Oh no. They've found me.  No, no, no, guys, please! Uh, would you mind coming back after business hours? Heh, I'm trying to work here."
Weatherman: The weather situation is much worse across the country. Bob: And this doesn't look like the winds are going to stop any time soon. Patrick: Ha ha ha ha. Fishy go bye-bye. Barbara: And that's the way it is in your world today. Patrick: Boring! I don't want to watch any of this boring stuff. I wanna watch something decent like--,"Sorry, Patrick. I need a place to hide from those jellyfish."
Patrick: What jellyfish?,"Ever since the wind started, a sound whistles through my holes that the jellyfish seem to love."
"Patrick: Hey, pal.  Owww!  SpongeBob, get out of here!  I'm sorry, SpongeBob, but you've become a negative influence!","Hahahaha! At least the wind stopped.  I think I lost them. Well, I guess I should just stay here where it's safe... and quiet... and dark. It's okay. I'll only hide out here here for a second. Yeah, it shouldn't take long. Behind these rocks. These sedentary, lifeless rocks."
Narrator: Later...,"Hey, buddy. Just thought I'd spruce you up a little. Auh-what's that? Oh, you don't say. Well, guess what. You're my best friend too. Mmm-hmmm. Come on, let's have some fun. Look buddy, mmmmmmmmm. Dinner's ready. Here, let's have some tea. Want some sugar, buddy? Hmm? One lump or two? Oh, you can have it all.  I feel comfortable around you.  Can I confess something? Cause I know you'll understand. I have this problem. I seem to attract jellyfish! Hahahaha! How do handel a thing like that, Hmmmmm?  Yeah, yeah. I'm in a loss, too. Oh, barnacles. I'm gonna be stuck in this cave forever!  Of course, buddy. Brilliant idea!  We'll see what happens this time.  Whoooaaa, here they come! Go get 'em, buddy!  Hey, guys. Long time no see. Uh, what do you think about my little friend's song?  ...Something wrong?  Hmmmmm. I created one stone SpongeBob that uttered a note in a foul key. But if I were to craft another in a different size,  the dimensions of that hollow center, multiplied by the number of holes, may offer another tune. One that could soothe those jellyfish. But which one is the right size?! Eh. I guess I'll just have to make a bunch of them.  Okay, that should do 'er.  Woah. It actually worked. Ah, they're finally leaving me alone. I can go back to work now!  Krusty Krab, here I come!  How long was I gone?!  No! No! No!"
"Narrator: 3,000 years later... Alien: To this day, no one knows why these mysterious statues were created or by whom.  All we know is that the genius of their design has caused the annual migration of jellyfish to their wondrous tune. Sandy:  You know, SpongeBob, sometimes, it's nice to hang up my hang-glider and just watch the clouds roll by.","Yup, and just relax."
Sandy: Yeah. Relax.,OOOH! Ooh-ooh-ooh! Do you know what that cloud looks like?
Sandy: What?,A flower.
"Sandy: They all look like flowers, SpongeBob. All the time.",They sure do.
"Sandy: You know, normally, I'd offer to race you to the top of coral cliffs. But I don't want to miss out on a second of this beautiful beauty.",Me either. Who wants to get all dirty anyway?
"Sandy: Yeah. And sweaty. Besides, I think we'd all know who'd get to the top first.",Yeah.
SpongeBob and Sandy:  Me.,"That's funny, Sandy. That sounded like you said you could beat me at a climbing contest."
Sandy: Course I can! I'm a squirrel. See?,I thought that meant you were nuts.
"Sandy: Nope, that means I'm a natural born climber. I'm from the surface world, and nothing prepares you for climbing than growing up on good ol' dry land.","Land-shmand, it's all about finger strength, baby. And if there's anything we've got plenty of down here, it's finger strength!  What do you say to that, Miss Mittens?"
Sandy: I'd say I'm already halfway there!,"Aaaaah!  No fair, Sandy! You got a head start!"
"Sandy: Sorry, SpongeBob, that's the way the coral crumbles!",Hey!  You did that on purpose!
"Sandy: Yeah, but this is an accident!",Aaaaahhhhhhh!!
Sandy: Too bad you forgot your umbrella!,♪ I didn't! ♪
"Sandy:  Well, it's about time you showed up.",But you were... I saw you by the... I want a rematch! First one to the Krusty Krab is the winner!
Sandy: Ain't no way a sea critter can run faster than a land critter.,I can underwater! I'm...  Hydrodynamically designed!  Think you can win a fair race in that clunky tin tube?
"Sandy: Why don't you ask my behind! That is, if you can catch it! What do you say to that, HydroPants?",I'd say I'm already halfway there!-halfway there!  -halfway there!-halfway there!
Sandy:  Thanks for the face lift!  You see? I told ya you didn't have a chan-,There you are! Ain't that just like a land creature to keep a sea creature  waiting!
Sandy: I thought y'all wanted a rematch.,I did! And I took a head start like you did!
"Sandy: Well, I was just funning with you that time! But I guess all y'all underwater don't have to play fair!","I guess we don't, air breather!"
Sandy: Water sucker!,Tree climber!
Sandy: Gulf streamer!,Kite flier!
Sandy: Chum chewer!,Take that back! You-  not wet person!
Sandy: Aha! You can't even come up with another name! That proves it!,Proves what?
"Sandy: That land critters are better than sea critters! Patrick:  Better at what? Sandy Cheeks: Oh, dern near everything, I guess. Cattle roping and pie eating and wood chopping and flying! Squidward:  What's she blabbering about? Patrick: She says land creatures are best. Sandy: Only 'cause it's true! We're best at horse riding and fur styling and rowing. Y'all got us licked in swimming, but we've got corn shucking  and hay bailing and barn raising... and fishing! Sandy: And name calling, for sure! Squidward: And drowning, don't forget drowning!","Good one, Squidward!  Woo!"
"Squidward: Not on your life, sport.","I'll admit, you've got some pretty good moves. For a squirrel.  But you're still just a land creature."
"Sandy: Squirrels can do anything they want to! Patrick: I bet they can't eat a Krabby Double Deluxe in one bite.  Ah. Sandy:  Give me that. They don't call me cheeks for nothin'. Patrick: Thank you, thank you. Sandy: Well, that's just one thing. Mr. Krabs: Can you do this?  Everyone in my family can do that. Sandy:  Uh...uh... Squidward: How about this?  Huh?",Can you reproduce by budding?  Can ya? Can ya? Huh? Can ya?
Sandy: No!,"Most importantly, can you do this!?"
"Sandy: Well, what would I wanna do any of that dumb stuff for anyway?","Admit it, Sandy, you can't do anything us sea creatures can do. In fact, if it wasn't for that suit, you couldn't even live down here!"
"Sandy: Well, you don't...  I don't need to...  Grr... I'll show ya all! I don't need this suit!  And I don't need this helmet neither! Mr. Krabs: Neptune preserve her! Squidward: How long can she stay like that?",I don't know!
Patrick: Sandy's a girl?!,"Wow, Sandy. You sure proved us wrong. I guess land creatures are better. At least until they need to breathe...  Yep, won't be long now.  Feelin' light-headed yet?"
Sandy: Mm-mm.,Remember this?
"Mr. Krabs: It's free! Sandy:  Stop laughing at me! Mr. Krabs: I knew it! There was no way some airhead was gonna win anything against a water breather! Patrick: Airhead...  Huh? SpongeBob, Patrick, Squidward and Mr. Krabs: Sea creatures rule! Water! Water! Water! Sandy: All right, all right! You had your little laugh. But now it's my turn! Y'all think you're such hot stuff, don't ya?! Swimming around with your fancy gills and such. But none of you wetheads could last a minute on my turf. Dry land! Squidward: Do we have to wear pickle jars? Sandy: Nope, nothing but the clothes on your backs.","One minute? No problem, Landy!"
"Sandy:  Well? So are you going or not? SpongeBob, Patrick, Squidward and Mr. Krabs:  Uh, well, uh, uh, um...","Actually, you know, but..."
"Squidward: We can't, uh...because... Mr. Krabs: We're late for, um... Patrick: Our fitting! Sandy: Oh, you mean for your chicken costumes? Patrick:  Hey! We are not chicken!  Huh! My popcorn!","Yeah, we're not chicken, we'll do it.  There. Mission accomplished."
"Sandy: Look. Unless you can stay above water for one measly minute, you forfeit the contest and prove that land creatures are better than sea creatures!","No way, San-day. We can take on your challenge!"
"Patrick, Squidward and Mr. Krabs: Yeah!",We're not afraid of your dumb old land!
"Patrick, Squidward and Mr. Krabs: Yeah!",We're sea creatures!
"SpongeBob, Patrick, Squidward and Mr. Krabs: Yeah!","Okay... Well, this is it."
"Mr. Krabs: Wait, boy,  ...make it last.","Thanks, Mr. Krabs. Okay.  Here I go!  Hey! This isn't so bad!  We can do this. Hey, Patrick, come on up! The air is fine!"
"Patrick: I'm gonna do it quick and get it over with. Cannonball!  Hey, I lost my trunks! Hi, SpongeBob!","All right, Pat, you made it!"
"SpongeBob and Patrick: Come on, Mr. Krabs! Up here! Mr. Krabs: All ashore that's going to shore, Mr. Squidward!  Land-ho!","Lookin' good, Mr. Krabs!"
"Patrick: Oh, yeah! Woohoo!","Come on, Squidward, you're missin' all the dry! Come on, Squidward!"
"SpongeBob, Patrick and Mr. Krabs:  Squid-ward! Squid-ward! Squid-ward! Squidward:  Well, I'll do it. But I won't like it. SpongeBob, Patrick and Mr. Krabs:  Squid-ward! Squid-ward! Squid-ward! Squid... Squidward: What?","Well, here we are!"
"Squidward: This is pretty easy. Patrick: I may keep a second rock up here. Mr. Krabs: Once you get your land legs, it's not so bad!",We're the masters of land and sea!  Hey! It's a local. Hi! We're from underwater. Do you know Sandy Cheeks?
"Sandy: 3. 2. 1. Well, tan my fur! They made it! Better go congratulate 'em.  SpongeBob! Patrick? Hmm, where'd those critters get to?  Holy guacamole! You can't eat my friends, you rats with wings! HI-YA!","Uh, thanks for saving us, Sandy."
"Sandy: You know, everyone's best at something.","But no one's best at everything. Sorry I made you take off your helmet, Sandy."
"Sandy: Sorry I made you go up on dry land, SpongeBob. Mr. Krabs: Three cheers for feeling sorry for ourselves! Hip hip! All: Hooray! Mr. Krabs: Hip hip! All: Hooray! Mr. Krabs: Hip hip! Seagulls:  Hooray. Mr. Krabs: Nope. Nothing.  I can't smell a cent or a dollar. Or any money in a 5-mile radius. We might as well settle down early.  Just as soon as that guy finishes his meal. Squidward: You mean the guy who's been nursing a single fry for the last hour? Mr. Krabs: When he goes, you can go. Squidward: Grr!  Excuse me, sir. But you seem to be having trouble masticating. Here let me help you.  What? No tip? Finally! Yes!  Leaving early! I can't believe this is finally happening!  Cause it's not. Mr. Krabs: Oh my! That's quite a storm! You know, a storm like this puts me in the mind of me old navy days.",Old navy days?! Ohh!
"Mr. Krabs: That gives me a fine idea, SpongeBob. Since it looks we're gonna be stuck here for a while, why don't you pull up a barrel, me laddies? While I retell you a thrillin' tale of me mysterious salty past.  There, now. The lights are properly dimmed.  Feast yourself on these slightly expired soda crackies  as I explain ya the yarn that puts hair on your chest. Squidward: I don't want any hair on my chest.","Ooh, I do!"
"Mr. Krabs: It was a day just like this one. The wind was howling!  And me ship was being tossed about,  like a rag doll on a trampoline!  I was in the galley! Cooking up grub for me crew to keep their mind off this horrible squall!  It was just then that he bursts into the galley!",Who he?
"Mr. Krabs: The man whose mission was to make my life a living nightmare!  The roughest, toughest, scaliest old barnacle that ever roamed the briny deep! He was me commandin' officer and he loathe me with the white, hot hatred of a psychotic madman!  They called him,  Captain Scarfish! Captain Scarfish: Hello!",Ahh!
"Captain Scarfish: Stand at attention, Mr. Krabs!  I want you to tell me the meaning of this! Mr. Krabs: Oh, that sir? Why sir, that's a sea-cucumber sandwich, sir, with the crusts cut off, sir. A little booshie-amusie for the boys, sir. Captain Scarfish: This is the navy, son! We don't cut the crusts off! We eat the crusts and throw the rest away! Mr. Krabs: But that's... That's madness! Captain Scarfish: I'm telling you for the last time! You're gonna have to stop making your food so delicious! Mr. Krabs: But I don't know how! Captain Scarfish: Well, you better figure it out! I need my men  wide-eyed and hungry, Krabs! We've got a cargo-hold full of suntan lotion! And... Squidward: Wait, you were transporting suntan lotion?  What SPF? Mr. Krabs: I don't see what's so amusing about that, Mr. Squidward. We were a cargo ship  heading straight into pirate territory with a fresh supply of suntan lotion for shipwreck sailors whose skin was chafed.  Chafed, Mr. Squidward!",Chafed!
"Captain Scarfish: Chafed! Mr. Krabs: Aye, sir! I understand, sir! Chafed! Captain Scarfish: So, tonight's meal is gonna be terrible! You understand, me?! Mr. Krabs: Aye, sir! Captain Scarfish: The worst you've ever made! Mr. Krabs: Aye-aye, sir! Captain Scarfish:  The kind of slop that will put some steel in their spines! Mr. Krabs: Aye-aye, sir! Captain Scarfish: Either that or I'll throw you in the brig! Mr. Krabs: Yes, sir. Crew: Huzzah! Mr. Krabs: Oh, don't huzzah yet, boys. Lou: What's on the menu tonight, eh? Mr. Krabs: Slop. Lou: Oh, slop, eh? Good one! Why don't you put some of that delicious slop right here on my...  Oh. I bet it's one of those things that looks bad, but it tastes really...  Bad. Mr. Krabs: Oh, sorry boys.  Captain's orders.  Oh, I can't stand it!  I don't care what the captain says! Crew:  Huzzah! Huzzah for Mr. Krabs! Huzzah! Captain Scarfish: What's all this huzzahing about?! Mr. Krabs: Oh, nothing sir! Uh, they just really enjoy eating slop! Don't you, boys? Captain Scarfish: Attention!  Looks like slop alright. But what's this? Mr. Krabs: Cherries jubilee. Crew: Cherries jubilee! Captain Scarfish: Cherries jubilee?! Mr. Krabs: Well, flaming cherries jubilee. Captain Scarfish: Flaming?! What are you trying to pull, you lubber? This looks like regular cherries jubilee! Mr. Krabs: Well, you see, sir, I was just gonna take this here match and...  And so, I found meself in the brig with two guards watching me every move.  The one was as brutal and ugly a bounder as you ever wish to see in your darkest nightmare! Octopus Sailor: Grr, what are you looking at? Mr. Krabs: But I thought I could dupe the other one sure than need a rise.","Gee, Mr. Krabs. That second guard sounds like a real goofball."
"Mr. Krabs: I managed to worm some useful information out of him right away. You see, he was an aspiring cook and I talked him into seeking some things down into the brig for me. The tombs of me trade you might say.  I set him to work on a sponge-sugared cathedral that took up most of his attention.  He never suspected that I was using the scraps to fashion a candy-key. Where's your sourpuss friend tonight? Ensign: Sick in bed like all the men. The captain's been feeding them nothing but moldy, old sandwich crusts.  They've all got terrible bellyaches. But not me, though. I cook for myself. Mr. Krabs: Wise lad.  And so, after a few hours of bouncing off the walls, the sugar finally wore off.  And soon, he was napping like a baby. This was me chance to use me sweet key to freedom.  But did I dare take it? I'd be in violation of the naval code. Then something happened that made me mind up for me.  Pirates! We were under attack!  I had to act fast!  Wake up, lad! Wake up! Man your battle stations!  I was on me own.  I could see it all. A pirate ship! And on that island: a crew of five naval men! Our only hope, marooned on a beach by those same scurvy pirates!  And suffered from the effects of chafe! Sunburn!  The pirates had already launched a boat and were preparing to board our vessel! Pirate Captain: Row, you worthless dogs! Captain Scarfish:  Stand down, Krabs! I'll have you on irons! Mr. Krabs: Listen to me, Captain! This is gonna get real ugly real fast! We've got to get to the cannons! Captain Scarfish: We're not outfitted for battle, Krabs! There's no ammunition! The cannons are ornamental at best!  Ornamental at best! Mr. Krabs: Then listen carefully! We'll have to go down to the cargo-hold and poke holes in the barrels of suntan lotion and scuttle the ship! Captain Scarfish: What you're suggesting is mutiny! Ensign: Do as he says, captain! Mr. Krabs: What are you using for ammo there, Ensign? Ensign: Oh, I rolled up an old, moldy sandwich crust into a hard, little ball. Mr. Krabs:  That's it!  Come with me, lad!  Direct hit! Mr. Krabs and Ensign: Huzzah! Pirate Captain: You'll pay for that! Get 'em boys! Ensign: Uh, what do I do? Mr. Krabs: Get down to the cargo-hold and check on the captain!  Charge! Hup! Hey! Whoop! Whoa! Hi-yah! Woo!  Close one! Ha-ha! Pirate Captain: Aww, he's kinda handsome for a crusty old cuss. Captain Scarfish:  I can't do it. I'm weak. Ensign: Snap out of it, man!  Eeww! Captain Scarfish: My personality! Ensign: Oh, uh, let me put that back. Naval Fish: Oh my! This feels wonderful! Yes, it feels great! Mr. Krabs:  Hoo! Whoo! Ha-ha! Whoop! Missed me!  Uh-oh! Uh, anyone for cherries jubilee? Pirate Captain: Finish him off! Naval Fish: Huzzah for Mr. Krabs! Mr. Krabs: Ha-ha! The sunburn brigade!  Ha-ha! Me plan worked! Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh! Pirate Captain: Handsome and clever, I see.  Join me, Krabs! We'll rule the seven seas together! Mr. Krabs: I can't let you go, lass. That'll be violation of the naval code. Enjoy your last meal. I hope you like sponge-sugar! Pirate Captain: Huh?  Oh! Squidward: What are we all winking about?",I don't know!
"Patchy: Stroke! Stroke! Stroke!  Hey, kiddies! It's your old pal, Patchy, floating somewhere over Bikini Bottom. I sailed down here to witness something that only happens every 100 years. Why, me and my trusted parrot, Potty, wouldn't miss it for the world, would we, Potty? Potty? Potty: Rah!  I'm just here for the buffet. Patchy: Oh, Potty!  Give me that!  Potty, I told you to leave those fish alone! What do you think you are, a seahawk? Potty: I can't help if I was born a predator. Rah! Patchy: Oh, Potty. I guess you're right. Can you ever forgive me? Shake.  Oh! Oh! Oh! Potty: Now I can. Rah! Patchy: Oh, get out of here!  Yep! Whoosh!  Oh, oh, yeah! I'm gonna save these mental pictures for me grandkids.  Oh, that's better. Everyone: ♪Squirrelly birthday, dear Sandy, squirrelly birthday to you♪  Hooray! Sandy: Y'all are the best aquatic critter friends a lone star from out of town could ever have. Patrick: Cake time! Sandy: Wah!",Don't worry. I always carry a spare.
"Sandy: Oh, no you don't!  Hoo-hah! Karate slice! Hi-yah!","Enjoy the cake, everybody. I made it special just for Sandy.  Mm."
Squidward: I'm allergic to nuts. Are there any nuts in that?,"Nope, no nuts."
"Squidward: Oh, okay.","Oh, unless you count wall nuts."
Squidward: What?,"I'm pretty sure walnuts are a fruit though, huh?"
"Mrs. Puff: Mmm! Mrs. Puff: Whoa—oh—oh—oh—oh! Larry:  Huh? Whoa! Sandy:  Whoa!  Tex Ritter! You don't see that everyday.  Huh? Everyone: Ooh! Pretty! Larry: Last time I saw a moon that big, it was in a locker room.",Since when is the moon so green?
"Patrick:  Everyone knows the moon is made of cheese, SpongeBob.  It's just been up there so long, it's getting moldy.  Oh, but I'd still eat it. Sandy: That ain't the moon, guys. The real moon comes out at night, remember? Something's fishy going on here. Dad:  Attagirl, Sissy! Daughter: I got it, Dad! Billy: Look out, Mom! Mable-Monica: Hey, kids, check out that cool, glowing rock in the sky. Sandy: You don't see that everyday. Did you see that, SpongeBob? Sponge...Bob? Frankie Billy: Huh? SpongeBob and Patrick:  Green cheese! Green cheese! Green cheese! Sandy: SpongeBob? Patrick?  Everyone listen to me! Get away from the light! The light is bad! Run for the shade! Mrs. Puff: So romantic. Mr. Krabs: Oh-ho! Mrs. Puff: Eugene-ikins, give me some sugar. Mr. Krabs: I'm always a sucker for a good smooch. Pearl:  Yeah, walk outside and check out this awesome moon. Phone: Hello? Hello, Pearl? Sandy: No! Not me!  Huh? I guess it only effects sea creatures, but I still don't get why that green moon is turning everyone into wild swimming fish?  Am I the only one left? Squidward: Oh, whoever used that restroom last was an animal!  Hey, put me down! Sandy! What are you doing? Ow! That hurts!  What is the meaning of— Sandy: Get in the shade! Squidward: I demand an explanation! Sandy: I'm getting one right now, Squidward! French Narrator:  Hello? French Narrator speaking. Sandy: Hey, Frenchy! It's me, Sandy! French Narrator: Ah, Sandy Cheeks.  How is it hanging? Sandy: Oh, it's not hanging too good, Frenchy. You see, there's this— French Narrator: Don't say another word. I have been monitoring the behavior of the green moon all day. It is called Neptune's Moon. Every 100 years, it de-evolves everyone in Bikini Bottom into primal fish for two hours. Sandy: Two hours? French Narrator: Until it falls into another volcano and is extinguished. Sandy: I knewed it was nature, dagnabit! That's a relief. So I just have to keep Squidward in the shade for a couple of hours.  Whew! Thanks, Frenchy. Squidward:  I'm going home to hide under the covers! It's every cephalopod for himself! Sandy:  Frenchy, I gotta call you back!  Squidward, you have to stay in the shade! Squidward:  Help! Sandy: Squidward! No! Sandy: O.M. Jehoshaphat! You don't see that everyday.  My friends are gonna be lunch if I don't think fast!  SpongeBob! Patrick!  Mrs. Puff! Mr. Krabs!  Larry!  Yeeouch!  Look out, Pearl! I'll save you! Yee-ha!  Like busting a bronco! Yee-ha!  Whoa—oh—oh—oh!  Not the blowhole!  Hey! Everybody! The light is bad! Stay away from the light! Highway Speed Officer: License and registration, please? Sandy: Hold your breath, creatures! Patchy: Uh-oh!  A Whale! Stroke! Stroke! Stroke!  Oh! Oh, Potty! We're taking on water!  A little help here, please, Potty?  Oh! Get out of here, you fiendish feather duster! Shoo! Shoo! I said, shoo! I'll do it meself. I don't need your help. I'm perfectly fine doing it by meself. Sandy:  Here's where we get off!  Thanks for the lift, Pearl! Don't you worry. Nobody's going to eat you guys on my watch.  Ow!  Dinner time! Come and get it!  This is so fascinating, Frenchy. Tell me more about my fishy friends. Oh, wait. I'll put you on speaker phone. French Narrator:  Ah, the lobster. The cockroach of the sea. Skittering across the ocean floor, the lobster sheds its skin once a week... And then eats it. Sandy: Now that's what I call recycling, huh, Frenchy? French Narrator:  Ah, notice the scavenger crab eating garbage  unaware he is being stalked by his natural predator, the puffer fish. Sandy: Oh, no, you don't. Mrs. Puff: Ow! Sandy: I knew I was gonna have to separate you two.  You're welcome, Mr. Krabs.  Ow!  Yeowch! French Narrator:  Ah, observe how the hungry sea star ejects his own stomach from his body in order to eat his meal,  where the primitive sea sponge filters nutrients and oxygen from bacteria particles. Sandy: SpongeBob is never gonna believe this. French Narrator:  Ah, the giant octopus. One of the largest predators on the ocean floor. Sandy: Texas toast! It's a good thing my treedome is made of ten tons of pressure proof glass, huh, Frenchy? French Narrator: Oui, Sandy, that is true, but, unfortunately, the poisonous and highly intelligent octopus can also cut through hard bedrock with its beak. Sandy: You don't see that everyday! Squidward, no! Sandy: Whoa!  Oh!  Hi-yah!  Aah, hominy grits! French Narrator: Ah, the battle for the survival of the fittest rages on in the animal kingdom. Sandy: My friends! My tree! French Narrator: Sandy, you must remember, who is the natural enemy of the octopus? Sandy: That's a great idea. French Narrator: Using her versatile tail, the Texas Land squirrel calls out to the natural enemy of the octopus. Sandy: There she blows, y'all! French Narrator: The whale. Sandy: Sick 'em, Pearl! Sorry, Squidward! Sandy: Ooh! Ohh! Sandy: Oh! Two hours is up? Thank goodness. French Narrator: And so we bid a fond adieu to Neptune's Moon as it descends back into the Earth from whence it came. We will see it again in 100 years.  Goal! Mr. Krabs and Mrs. Puff: Oops. Squidward: What is going on here?  My clothes! Pearl:  No! Sandy: Aah!","Um, Sandy, how come your treedome is broken and everyone's naked?"
"Sandy: Well, SpongeBob, let's just say this has been the most interesting birthday I ever had. French Narrator: And, of course, Neptune's Moon is always followed by Neptune's Sun. SpongeBob and Patrick: You don't see that everyday. Jinx! Buy me a patty! French Narrator: Ah, Bikini Bottom. Teaming with life and naked mysteries. This next whale song is going out to my favorite squirrel. Sandy, happy birthday. Sandy:  Yee haw! Whoo! Patchy: Ooh, Potty, I never thought it'd end up like this, brunch for a shark. Potty: I guess this is it. Good-bye, Patchy. Patchy: Good-bye, Potty. Patchy: Huh? French Narrator: Hello! Patchy: Frenchy, you surprising scallywag! Get—What are you doing here? French Narrator: Ah, Patchy the pirate, I just swam back to warn you about Neptune's Sun, but it's too late. Au revoir. Patchy: Bye. Neptune's Sun?  What's happening?! Potty: Mm, yummy.","Good morning, Gary!  Good morning, Mr. Mailman!"
"Mailman: Morning, SpongeBob. Ah, it is a good morning, isn't it.  Ah!","Isn't life great, Gary? Oh, what a beautiful day. I have the best friends..."
"Squidward:   Ah, stay away!  Oh, another SpongeBob nightmare.",The best job...
Mr. Krabs: He's already ten seconds late! I'm docking him a month's pay for this.,"And, of course, the bestest pet."
Gary: Meow.  Meow!,I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
"Patrick: Hi, SpongeBob.","Hey, Patrick! How goes it?"
"Patrick: Well, it was great until you showed up.",What's that?
"Patrick: Oh, just a birthday cake for my mom that I spent all day baking. Idiot Boy.","Oh, that's the first time someone's called me that. Wait, I know who will enjoy my company. Squidward!"
Squidward: Don't you ever wake me up from my beauty sleep! Do you understand? Idiot Boy. Sandy: It's all done! My greatest invention yet!,Sandy! What a neat robot!
Sandy: No!,"Let me explain. You see... I was passing by the tree, and I thought it'd be funny if I gave you a surprise."
"Sandy: Oh, you gave me a surprise, alright. Look at the surprise I got!  Get out of here! Idiot Boy!","I guess that means there's only one place left to go. A place where I am wanted, wherever they like it or not!  SpongeBob WorkPants reporting for duty, Mr. Krabs."
"Mr. Krabs: Hurry up and get in there, boy! Patties need flipping.","No worries, captain!  Oops, well, all in a day's work. Now, back to doing what I do best! No way I can mess this up..."
"Mr. Krabs:  Mr. Dollar, allow me to introduce you to Mrs. Dollar.  What the barnacles is going on?","Mr. Krabs!  Mr. Krabs, are you okay?"
"Mr. Krabs: I'm fine, as long as me money's okay. Mr. Dollar:  Although we've only known each other a short time, I want you to know... I love you. Mr. Krabs:  If I were you, I'd get as far away from me as possible-- Idiot Boy!","I guess that's it, then. If Mr. Krabs is calling me Idiot Boy, it must be true, I know what must be done!  I somehow managed to make everyone mad at me. At least you still like me, right, Gare? I'll miss you too, buddy. There's a year's supply of snail food for you.  Goodbye, pineapple.  Goodbye, Squidward. Goodbye, Patrick. Goodbye, Sandy. Goodbye, Bikini Bottom. Goodbye, life as I know it.  Welcome to Bikini Bottom. Population 538.  Minus 1.  Idiot Boy, Idiot Boy, Idiot Boy, Idiot Boy, Idiot Boy, Idiot Boy, Idiot Boy, Idiot Boy, Idiot Boy, Idiot Boy...  Oooh, boy, that's quite a lump!"
"Sandy: Patrick, where's SpongeBob? Patrick: I don't know. I've been knocking on his door for three hours. I need his hot sauce for my milkshake. Sandy: We ain't got time for that. Hi-yah! Gary: Mrloooow. Sandy: Gary? Where are you, little guy? Gary: Mrloooow. Sandy: Gary? Gary? Gary: Mrloow. Sandy: Gary! What happened to you? Gary: Mrlooooooowrooowroowrooow. Sandy: A note.  To whom it may concern: if you found this letter, that means Gary's food bowl is empty and that it needs to be refilled. It also means it's been approximately one year since I've split town, and no one's noticed 'til now. No one needs to worry, I won't bother anyone again. Sincerely, SpongeBob. A.K.A. Idiot Boy. Harold: I could use this. Jennifer-Millie: Yeah, I like these here. Harold: This is top quality.",Hello there.  What's going on?
"Harold: Oh, we thought you were taking a dirt nap, but we organized your clothes for you... SpongeBob.",Are you talking to me?
Harold: Isn't this your name?,"I don't know, is it?"
Harold: You don't know your name?,All I know is that I hit my head on some rocks! Now I can't seem to remember anything.
"Harold: Err, well, then I'll remind you that these are not your clothes, and your name isn't SpongeBob, it's, umm... it's... CheeseHead BrownPants. Ha ha! That's it!","CheeseHead, huh?  Wait a minute, what's this?"
"Harold: Bubbles?! CheeseHead: I wonder what got into them? Perch Perkins: We interrupt this program for an important announcement.  Bikini Bottom is literally in a state of total chaos tonight. Leugey:  Literally! Perch Perkins:  We go now to news scene chopper 7. What's up? News Chopper:  Not looking too good out here, Perch. The Krusty Krab is about to come apart of the hinges. Customers are in a rage over not getting their Krabby Patties. Mr. Krabs:  Squidward, where the barnacles is SpongeBob? This place is going down the toilet! Patties need flipping! Squidward: If I knew, do you think I'd be standing here getting yelled at by a bunch of morons? Mr. Krabs: Don't talk back to your superior officer, you... Sandy: Squidward! Mr. Krabs! Y'all seen SpongeBob? Squidward: I think we just went through this... Mr. Krabs: What he means to say is, no, we haven't. Sandy: Well, apparently, he's left Bikini Bottom, and he ain't coming back. Mr. Krabs: Let me see that.  To whom that may concern, ... AKA...AKA? Idiot Boy? IDIOT BOY?! It is SpongeBob! What am I gonna do without me fry cook?! Patrick: What am I gonna do without my best friend?! I should never have been mean to you! Sandy: I should have never kicked you out of my house! Squidward:  If I knew that was the last time I've seen SpongeBob--  I would have slammed the door in his face even harder! Mr. Krabs: All right, group meeting. Everybody out! The Krusty Krab's closed until further notice!  Now...  how do you propose we find me money-making employee? CheeseHead: Whoo, I live in a dump! Bert: Hey, watch where your stepping! CheeseHead: Sorry, sir, I was just- Bert: I know what you was doing. You was doing the old bump into the sucker and reach into his pockets and take his change routine, but it ain't gonna work this time. You want money? Get a job, you deadbeat! CheeseHead: I'm a jobless deadbeat? What a sad existence I don't remember I lead.  Ooh, seems like I'm running on empty.  Not a penny to my name. Well, I guess if I want to fill the hole in my gut, I'll need to fill a job somewhere.  Help wanted? Lisa: Well, Mr... BrownPants... you seem to have left this entire application blank. CheeseHead:  I can't remember a thing. Lisa: Well, do you have any special skills? CheeseHead: Special skills... oh, I can do this! Lisa:  Oh, what do you think you're doing?!  Sorry, sir, but we run a respectable business here! CheeseHead: Okay, I guess they don't want you blowing bubbles, unless it directly relates to the job at hand.  Thanks for the job, boss! You won't be disappointed. Matt: That's real sweet, BrownPants, but I don't hear that hammer pounding. CheeseHead:  Then this might be music to your ears. Matt:  Neptune's son, what are you doing?  You aren't doing that on my building site! You're fired! CheeseHead: I do not understand this. What is wrong with this city? Maybe it's not the city. Maybe it's me.  Hey, mister, Look at me! Mister, look at me! Is there something wrong with me? Sandy: Listen up, y'all! I got a plan to bring back SpongeBob. Mr. Krabs: You do? Sandy: Yup, and it involves this.  It'll track any sponge within a 50-mile radius. Squidward: So, you're saying this thing can actually find SpongeBob? Sandy: You got it, SquidCakes, but it's gonna take all of us to find-- Sandy, Mr. Krabs and Patrick: Squidward:  Oops, I dropped it. Mr. Krabs: Mr. Squidward! This device was me last chance to get this place back into ship shape! And since you destroyed it, I am ordering you to find SpongeBob! Squidward:  I wouldn't seek out that twit for all the leotards of the sea. Mr. Krabs: If you don't find him, you'll be out of a job forever. Squidward: Ha! Is that your version of a threat? Mr. Krabs: Oh, Squidward, don't forget your retirement gift. Squidward: Mr. Krabs, I am not interested in any–  Is that a handcrafted jewel-encrusted ornamental egg? That'll complete my collection! Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you, Mr. Krabs! Mr. Krabs:  Not so fast! Bring back me number one fry cook first. Jake: Real drag, isn't it? Having to stand around the fire for warmth every night? CheeseHead: Yeah. Josh: Heh, not for us... we're just waiting in line for a new video game. CheeseHead: I guess I am just a jobless deadbeat.  You guys mind if I bubble? Jake:  You can't do that here! CheeseHead: But... bubbles will steady the ol' nerves. Watch.  See? Feeling better already. Roddie: Do you have any...  I think we've made our point with the snapping!  As I was saying... do you have any idea who we are? CheeseHead: Um, wait... err, um... don't tell me, um... Roddie: Don't answer.  I'll show ya.  We call us the Bubble Poppin' Boys. And article one of our charter prohibits bubble blowing on our turf.  You see why we don't allow bubbles in our city?! Fortunately, we have ways of dealing with careless bubble blowers like you. Let's rough him up, boys! Roddie: Where'd he go?  After him! CheeseHead: Ah, I'll be making this getaway in comfort. Alex: You- you did it!  Do you realize what you've done? CheeseHead: No. Alex: You have freed the city. Citzens of New Kelp, come out of the shadows, 'cause CheeseBoy kicked the Bubble Poppin' gang right out of town! All: Thank you, CheeseBoy! Mitch: What an amazing gift CheeseBoy has given us. CheeseHead: Actually, it's CheeseHead. Mayor: Well, CheeseHead, this is a historic day for New Kelp City. You have rid this city of the Bubble Poppin' Boys, and restored bubble-blowing to the streets.  Something I wasn't able to do for 20 years as mayor. For this, I appoint you...  mayor of New Kelp City! All:  All hail mayor CheeseHead! Sandy: SpongeBob! Patrick: SpongeBob! Sandy: SpongeBob! Patrick:  Buddy? You there? Sandy: SpongeBob!  Maybe someone at that truck stop has seen our porous little buddy. Patrick: SpongeBob! Sandy: There he is, guys! Patrick: Huh? SpongeBob!  Oh, I knew I'd find you, buddy! Look at you. You haven't changed a bit. Let's go home and eat a gallon of seanut butter. Sandy: That's not SpongeBob, Patrick.  here's SpongeBob. Patrick:  I'll get ya out of this cage, buddy!  You're safe now in my arms.  Huh? Where'd you go now? Sandy: Uh, Pat? All the ink came off on your belly. Patrick: Oh. Sandy: Now let's see what that little critter's up to.  New mayor of...  SpongeBob's mayor of New Kelp City! Mayor CheeseHead:  Citizens of New Kelp City. I don't know much about politics or balanced budgets or how to be a leader. I'm not exactly sure what a mayor…is. But I do know this, while I am wearing the mayor's hat, it will always be safe to blow bubbles on the streets of New Kelp or my name isn't CheeseHead BrownPants. Sandy: CheeseHead BrownPants? Donny: New Kelp City has brown-pants mania. Sandy: Hang on a minute. I don't mean to put a damper on the mood here, but Bikini Bottom needs you back, SpongeBob. Mayor CheeseHead: What's that? Sandy: Well, I'm sorry I yelled at you, buddy. Mayor CheeseHead: Oh, this is a surprise. Sandy: Surprised I found you? Mayor CheeseHead: No, surprised at seeing a talking weasel. Sandy:  It's me, Sandy. Don't pretend you don't remember me, SpongeBob. Mayor CheeseHead: Sorry, Sandy. But I'd probably remember another underwater, talking weasel. Patrick: You may not remember the weasel, but you haven't forgotten your best friend, have you? Mayor CheeseHead: I have no idea how that got there. All I remember is hitting my head, blowing some bubbles and now, poof, I'm mayor. Sandy: You must've lost your memory when you hit your head. You'll just have to come back with us to Bikini Bottom. The familiar surroundings will bring your memory right back. Mayor CheeseHead: Uh, sorry, weasel girl, I can't leave. These people need my leadership. In fact, I'm late for a meeting. Sandy:  SpongeBob, wait! Squidward: Don't just stand there, get in. Sandy: Squidward? Squidward: Hurry up!  Decorative egg, here I come. Sandy: Here it is! You must recognize this place. Mayor CheeseHead: Nope. Mr. Krabs: Don't recognize the Krusty Krab? Stop your kidding, boy. And start frying up them patties. Mayor CheeseHead: I was a fry cook before? Mr. Krabs: Aye, the best in the business. Now get flipping. Mayor CheeseHead: Look, guys, as much as I'd love to toil the days away flipping burgers, I think I'll just go back to my modest job as mayor of a major city. Squidward: Whoo-hoo-hoo, SpongeBob's leaving for real this time!  Mr. Krabs, I brought back your number one fry cook. You gotta pay up. Mr. Krabs: All right, Mr. Squidward, a deal's a deal. Here's your fancy egg. Squidward: Ohh! It's BEAU-TI-FUL!  NOOOOOO! Sandy: You okay, SpongeBob?","Yeah, just a bit of a headache, Sandy-  Hey, I remember this place!"
"Sandy: SpongeBob's back! Mr. Krabs: We're really sorry we ran you out of town, boy. But we're glad you're back.","I'd really love to stay, but the people of New Kelp City need their mayor. Goodbye, everyone."
"Sandy, Mr. Krabs and Patrick: What? / Huh? / Oh, not again. Squidward: He's leaving, again! Perch Perkins: Stop what you're doing and don't go out that door.  This is a KNKC special report. Panic in the streets of New Kelp City as rampant bubbles bring visibility down to 0. The angry citizens here blame the apocalyptic scene on Mayor CheeseHead BrownPants and his newly-enacted bubble policy. Alfred: If I ever see Mayor Brown Pants again I'm gonna grab his little, yellow head and literally rip his!-- Mr. Krabs: Where's SpongeBob?",Order up!  Who wants to be a dumb old mayor when you're the best fry cook in town? And how could I ever leave behind my bestest friends?
"Patrick: Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy, Krabby Patty!  SpongeBob, another masterpiece. Sandy: It's great to have you back, Spongy.",Looks like I'm back in Bikini Bottom forever.
"TV Announcer: The New Adventures of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy! We join Bikini Bottom's noblest, boldest, oldest superheroes as they bravely prepare for vacation.  But wait! While our heroes relax at Leisure Village... who will watch the Mermalair?!",ManSponge...
"Patrick: ...and BoyPatrick... SpongeBob and Patrick: Reporting for duty! Barnacle Boy: Yeah, yeah, follow me. SpongeBob and Patrick: Up, up, and awayyyyyy!! Mermaid Man: EVIL! Barnacle Boy: Now, we want you boys to keep an eye on the place. Water the plants, and make sure that...","Oh my gosh, Patrick! This is the greatest wall of superhero secret gadgetry ever! I'm going to play with the Cosmic-Ray!"
"Patrick: I get the Aqua-Glove! Mermaid Man: Hold on there, boys! You cannot play with this stuff!",What about the Orb of Confusion?
"Mermaid Man:  No, no! Prolonged exposure to the Orb of Confusion will give you... uh... confusion! Patrick:  What about the Invisible Boatmobile? Barnacle Boy: Especially not the Invisible Boatmobile!  When we say don't touch anything, we mean don't. Touch. Anything! Do you understand? SpongeBob and Patrick: Loud and clear, trusted boy companion! Barnacle Boy: Well, great. Here are the keys.  We'll see you in a week. Mermaid Man:  UP, UP, AND AWAYYYYYY!","Come, BoyPatrick. While our heroes are away, we will keep evil at bay!"
Patrick: Huh? MUH-MUH-MUH-MA-MUH-MUH-MA-MUH-MA...,"What is it, trusted sidekick?"
"Patrick: MUH-MUH-MUH-MA-MUH-MUH-MA-MUH-MA! MUH-MUH-MUH-MA-MUH-MUH-MA-MUH-MA! SpongeBob and Patrick: MUH-MUH-MUH-MA-MUH-MUH-MA-MUH-MA! MUH-MUH-MUH-MA-MUH-MUH-MA-MUH-MA! Man Ray! Aaaaaaaahhh! Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob, how come he's not chasing us?",Looks like he's frozen or something.
Patrick: FRUH-FRUH-FRUH-FRO-FRUH-FRUH-FRO-FRUH-FRO!,"It appears to be some sort of prison chamber...  ...made out of frozen tartar sauce. This is incredible! Next to the Dirty Bubble, the evil Man Ray is the all-time greatest arch nemesis of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy. I have so many questions to ask him!  Pat, what are you doing!?! We're not supposed to touch anything!"
Patrick: But you said you had a question.,We could get in trouble!
"Patrick: Well, that's not a question.",They said not to touch anything and that includes unfreezing a super-villain!
Man Ray: I'm free! Hahaha!,"Uh, actually, Mr. uh... Man Ray, sir, only your head is free."
"Man Ray: By the supreme authority of wickedness, I, the evil Man Ray, command you to release me from this frozen prison at once!","Well, uhh, Mr. Evil Man Ray, sir, we can't do that."
Man Ray: Why... NOT?!,Because you're evil!
"Man Ray: You mean, if I was good, then you'd let me go?","Yeah, sure, why not?"
"Man Ray: Then, uhhh, in that case... I am good.",Really?
"Man Ray: Yes, really.","Really, really?"
"Man Ray: Yes. Yes. Really, really.",Really Really Really???
"Man Ray: YES, YES, ALREADY! I'M GOOD, I'M GOOD! NOW, LET ME OUT OF HERE OR YOU'LL SUFFER DIRE CONSEQUENCES!!","Well, that's good enough for me."
"Man Ray: You fools! Prepare to be eradicated!  What's wrong with me? Hahaha! What is this, HAHA HEH HEH HA, infernal contraption!?","Don't play dumb, Man Ray! You know that's the tickle belt Mermaid Man used on you in episode 17!"
"Narrator:  As seen in episode 17! Patrick: Oh, I love that episode.","Oh, me too, me too!"
Man Ray: I'll never get out of here wearing this belt!  I... I need an evil plan that will trick them to take it off me.  Time for those acting lessons to pay off.,Remember that part Mermaid Man and Barnacle...
"Man Ray: Oh, boohoo! Oh, sob! Oh, cry!  Oh, woe is me! You don't know what it's like being evil for so long. Oh, how I wish to be... good. If only some kind heroes would show me the path to decency.",We could teach you how to be good and then we'll let you go!
"Man Ray:  Ahh, that would be fantastic!  I'll fake my way through this just like I did in high school.","Okay, Man Ray. Are you ready for your first day at goodness school?  Pat, get your wallet out.  Okay, goodness lesson number one. You see someone drop their wallet. Patrick, drop the wallet.  Now, what do you do?"
"Man Ray: Excuse me, sir, but I do believe you've dropped your wallet. Patrick: Doesn't look familiar to me. Man Ray: What? I just saw you drop it. Here. Patrick: Nope, it's not mine. Man Ray: It is yours. I am trying to be a good person and return it to you. Patrick: Return what to who? Man Ray:  ...Aren't you Patrick Star? Patrick: Yup. Man Ray: And this is your ID. Patrick: Yup. Man Ray: I found this ID in this wallet. And if that's the case, this must be your wallet. Patrick: That makes sense to me. Man Ray: Then take it. Patrick: It's not my wallet. Man Ray:  You dim ball! Take back your wallet or I'll rip your arms off!","Ah-ah! Wrong.  Good people don't rip other people's arms off!  Okay, goodness lesson number two. You see someone struggling with a heavy package. What do you do?"
"Man Ray: Hello, friend. I noticed you were struggling with that package. Would you like some help with...  Ow! Patrick: Oops, sorry. Can I start over? Man Ray: I noticed you was...  Ow! Patrick: Oops! Gotta start again. Man Ray: Would,  Ow! Patrick: Oops! Man Ray:  You butter-fingered pink thing! What's in that box anyhow?! Patrick: My wallets. Man Ray: Patrick: No! SpongeBob, tickle him! Man Ray:  It tickles, but it's worth it!","Alright, goodness lesson number three.  Uhh, let's see."
Patrick: I've got one. I'm thinking of a number between 1 and 100. What is it? Man Ray: Umm... 62? Patrick: Wrong! Man Ray: Haha! Stop!,"Hey, Patrick, that's got nothing to do with being good."
"Patrick: Let go of it, SpongeBob!","Pat, we've got to use it only when he's bad!"
Patrick: Let go!,"No, you let go!"
SpongeBob and Patrick: Let... GO! Man Ray: Frequency rising. Belt out of control. Hahahaha. Belt on too hard.  It's tickling my DNA. Make it stop!  Haha. Please!!,"Did you hear that, Patrick? He said the P word."
Patrick: Peanuts?,No. Please.
"Patrick: Well, that's good enough for me. I guess he's reconstituted.",Rehabilitated.
Patrick: Gesundheit.,"It's graduation day, Man Ray. This is the key to your future.  Just look at him, Patrick. The picture of goodness.  Umm, we're not supposed to touch that stuff.  We're not supposed to touch that, either.  We are really not suppose to touch those, sir.  Good people have no use for weapons such as...  thoooooooooose!"
"Man Ray:  The only thing I'm good at is being evil.  So long, suckers! Patrick: What's that smell, SpongeBob?","That, Patrick, is the smell of defeat."
"Patrick: Good, I thought it was my skin.","Forget about your skin, Patrick! Man Ray is still bad and someone has to stop him! This is a job for Mermaid Man..."
Patrick: ...and Barnacle Boy!,To the Invisible Boatmobile!
"Patrick: Ignition, on!",Wait! I don't have a license!
"Patrick: Well, this is an invisible boat, right? So, you need an invisible license.","You're the best sidekick ever, Barnacle Boy."
"Patrick: Thank goodness for invisible seat belts! Man Ray: Out of my way, fools! You no longer have control of me. And now this town belongs to Man Ray!","Not so fast, arch-villain! We still have the Orb of Confusion!  Take this!  Doy... Duh..."
"Man Ray: Well, that was easy.  Hahaha! All right, people! Everybody stand right where you are! Man Ray: I want you to, uh...  No! No! Stop giggling or I'll have to...  STOP LAUGHING, YOU FOOLS! Bank Lady: What can I do for you, sir? Man Ray: I'll tell you what you can do!  Gimme all of your...  G-gimme, gimme all of your...  Give me...!  Aah! The belt is gone, but I still feel its tickle! The urge to do bad is gone!  I guess I'll just open a checking account.",Doy...  Man Ray!
"Man Ray: No need to be alarmed, SpongeBob. Your teachings have transformed me. Besides, I have checks... with little poodles on them!  I won't be needing this anymore. Farewell, fellow do-gooder.","Bye, Man Ray! Wow, we did it! Just like the real Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy! We saved the day! Isn't it incredible, Patrick? Patrick?"
Patrick: Uhh...,"Patrick, you know that thing's turned off, right? Patrick? Woo-hoo? Patrick?"
"Squidward: Can I help you? Patrick: Yeah.  Let's see here. I have a question about the Krabby Kiddy meal. Is it really, really, really cute? . Squidward: Adorable. Patrick: Cuter than a regular Krabby Patty? Squidward : Yes. .","Psssssst. Patrick, get the Krabby Kiddy Meal. Look,  a regular Krabby Patty here, , a Krabby Kiddy Patty here. 30% cuter. And it only costs one dollar more."
Patrick:  Oh yah! Yah! Yah! I want that! Squidward: That'll be $4.99. Patrick: Is this enough? Squidward: No.,Sorry Patrick.
"Patrick: Oh, crud! That's everything I got! .",I have an idea. We can buy it together and share it.
Patrick:  Share it?,"Sure. You see, sharing is the most wonderful..."
"Patrick: Yeah, yeah, yeah. . Patrick: I'm familiar with the concept of sharing. . Patrick: Sharing is fun.  Huh, SpongeBob?",Oh yeah. Aren't you gonna save some of that for me?
Patrick: What?,Nothing.
Patrick: Hey!  Where's the toy?,"Oh, it doesn't come with a toy."
Patrick: What!? That's a rip off! I want my money back! Mr. Krabs:  Money back?! Mr. Krabs:  What's the problem here? Patrick: My Kiddy meal didn't come with a toy! Mr. Krabs: Hmm. And you'd like to upgrade to the toy package is that right?,"Mr. Krabs, the Krusty Krab doesn't have any toys."
"Mr. Krabs: Oh, really?  Then what do you call?... this? . Patrick and SpongeBob: Gasp!",An officially licensed Krusty Krab toy? .
.,My purpose in life is to have you as my toy. .
"Mr. Krabs: Eww.  Disgusting. Ahem. Yep it's pretty special all right. And it can be yours for only... . Mr. Krabs: Hey, good looking. .","I love you officially licensed Krabby Patty toy. Not too formal. I think I'll call you, oh, Patty Pal!"
. Patrick: Am I interrupting?,"Oh, hi, Patrick. Have you met my new toy?"
Patrick: Don't you mean our new toy?,Our new toy?
Patrick: It came from the meal that we're sharing.,Sharing?
"Patrick: Remember?  Sharing is the most wonderful feeling in the world, like dancing with a magical seahorse through an enchanted kelp garden  Remember those words, SpongeBob?","I didn't say that. But I guess we can share Patty Pal.  Now can I see it again, Patrick?"
Patrick: I thought we were sharing it?,When's my turn?
Patrick: Aren't you supposed to be working?,Of course. Now is it my turn?
Patrick: No.,How about now?
"Patrick: Nah, maybe tomorrow.","Nighty-night, Patty Pal."
"Patrick: No touching! See you tomorrow.  Say good night, Patty Pal.  Good night, SpongeBob.","Good night.  Poor Patrick. He's only got the Patty Pal for tonight, and he'll be asleep, and won't get to play with it at all! Yes! Today's my Patty Pal day! Oh, this is going to be fun!"
Gary: Meow.,"Gary, of course, Patrick will give me my turn with the Patty Pal!"
Gary: Meow.,"Gary, you can be a real negative nancy!"
Gary:  Meow.,"I heard that!  Good Morning, Patrick!"
"Patrick: Uh, I'm not home right now! Please leave a message! Beeeep!","Patrick, it's me! SpongeBob! It's my turn to play with the toy!"
Patrick: I can't go out! I just washed my hair!,You don't have any h- come out Patrick! It's my turn!
Patrick:  Got any ID?,I have my milkshake dispenser operator license
"Patrick: Looks fake to me, pal! Bye-Bye now!","Well, I guess I had best be going!  I'm walking away. Here I go.  I'm gone now!"
Patrick: You sure?,"I'm sure!  Hi, Patrick! Time to share!"
Patrick: Deceiver! You didn't leave at all!,"Oh, and you were washing your hair?!"
"Patrick: I was too, see?  Nice dismount!",I'm working out!
"Patrick: Well, gotta go!","Hold on, buster! Hand over the toy! It's my turn!"
Patrick: I can't! Patty Pal and me have really bonded!,Gary was so right about you! You're a non-sharer!
"Patrick: Gary said that? You're off my friend list, Gary! Gary: Meow.","Hand it over, Patrick! I get to play with the Patty Pal today!"
Patrick: You can't take it! It's not fair!,How about I only take it for half a day?
Patrick: Mm-mm!,How about we trade off every hour?
Patrick: Mm-mm!,Every half hour?
Patrick: Mm-mm!,Every fifteen minutes?
Patrick: Mm-mm!,Five minutes?
Patrick: Mm-mm!,One minute?
Patrick: N-n-no!,"Okay, my final offer, we trade off every second!"
Patrick: One.,One.
"Patrick: One. Squidward: I hate them. Sandy: Howdy, Patrick, SpongeBob. Both: Hi, Sandy. Sandy: What in tarnation's going on with you two? Patrick: SpongeBob won't let me play with my toy.",Patrick won't share OUR toy.
Sandy: What you need is a mediator. Y'all best sit down and work this out. Now the main problem in an argument is a lack of communication. You can only resolve conflict when you understand each other.  So I want each of you to state what is most important to the each of you right now.,Water?!
Patrick: Oh boy.,That mediator lady made some good points.
Patrick: Most definitely.,It takes understanding.
Patrick: Communication is key.,It's my turn!
"Patrick: No, it's mine!",Mine!
"Patrick: If I can't have it, no one can!",Nooooo!
"Mr. Krabs:  Avast, there, laddies! What's all this ruckerus about now?","It's our Krabby Patty toy, Mr. Krabs, and Patrick ate it, so that I couldn't play with it."
Patrick: SpongeBob won't let me play with it.,Only because you hogged it all night.
Patrick: I did not!,Did too!
Patrick: Nuh-uh!,"Oh, you toy eater!"
"Patrick: Tattletale! Mr. Krabs: Whoa, whoa, whoa there, now! Settle down! All this brawling is over a toy? You two shouldn't let a little trinket get between youse. You should be ashamed of yourselves. If I gave each of ya another toy, would that make you happy? SpongeBob and Patrick: Yes. Mr. Krabs: Well, you're in luck! You two seem so thrilled with the toy. I had an entire case of 'em made. They've been selling my hotcakes. That'll be $13.50 each. Patrick: This time, it's on me.","Patrick, that's my money."
Patrick: Have you learned nothing about sharing?,"Order up! Go now, and bless the taste buds of your lucky connoisseur."
Squidward: It went in my mouth! Choking on sentiment! I think I'm poisoned!,"Well, okay, you sit this one out, Squidward, this will be a special delivery from the chef.  For your dining pleasure, two double Krabby Patties cooked to perfection complimented by a side of coral bits and a jumbo diet soda, topped off with a little extra love.  Enjoy your meal!  It's the little details that they really appreciate, isn't it, Squidward?"
"Squidward:  Oh, yeah, you really touched his life.",Nothing beats making quality food for good people with discriminating tastes.
Squidward: Quality food?,Yeah!
Squidward: Good people?,Uh-huh.
Squidward: Discriminating tastes?,Testify!
Squidward: D'oh!  Only pathetic losers with horrible taste would eat this garbage!,"Squidward! The Krusty clientèle needs to be cuddled and treated with respect.  There, there.  Mr. Krabs will be ashamed!"
"Mr. Krabs: All right, you filthy bilge rats!",Mr. Krabs?
"Mr. Krabs: You got three seconds to get out of me restaurant before I kick you out! Fine, have it your way!","What's happening, Mr. Krabs?"
"Mr. Krabs: Ah, we don't need those losers anymore! I'm turning the restaurant in to one of those fancy froufrou places, where they charge big bucks for itsy-bitsy portions! Squidward: Fancy? Froufrou? Mr. Krabs: We're getting a gourmet chef from the chef exchange program and I'm going to raise me prices to the roof!",Chef exchange program?
"Mr. Krabs:  Oh. Uh, yeah. Well, you'll be shipped off to some other restaurant somewhere far away from here! Uh details are kinda hazy, but I packed your bags and your bus leaves in five minutes!  Heh, looks like it's early. Squidward: It was that easy? All these years?  I've underestimated the power of public transportation! Mr. Krabs: Welcome to the Krusty Krab. Squidward: Does your middle name happen to be No SpongeBob within a thousand kilometers of here? Le Schnook: I find you disgusting.  However, my culture dictates zat I must kiss you regardless. Mr. Krabs: Well, he's just as affectionate as the boy. Squidward: But the surly attitude he has is a step in the right direction! Fancy Head Chef: What is this rubbish?! I would not wipe my own bottom with this!  Start over! And this  I would not wash my own bottom with this after carefully wiping and wiping and wiping!  Now go stand in the corner and think about what you have done!  And where is my exchange chef?!","Um, right here, sir."
"Fancy Head Chef:  There you are. Bonjour!  Now, get to your station and prepare me your best dish!  This is not funny! And I certainly did not exchange my top sous chef for a, how you say, comedian!  Prepare me a gourmet dish, NOW!","I'm sure with all my years in the kitchen, I can make something other than...  Just warming up.  Come on, SpongeBob!  Just one egg then...  No, that's not it, no..."
Fancy Head Chef: You are making a mockery of my...  This taste is fantastic! What do you call it?,A Krabby Patty.
"Fancy Head Chef:  The whole world must taste this! Narrator: Meanwhile, at the Krusty Krab... Mr. Krabs: Hey, Squidward, look at this!  We're charging 52 smackeroos for this little guy. Squidward: Oh! What is that?! Mr. Krabs: I don't know! Some kind of bean paste or something. Le Schnook: Wrong, monsieur! It is ze Rare Fruit of ze Kazook Tree. Mr. Krabs: So it's supposed to smell like a rotten gym socks? Le Schnook: Its naturally rancid odor can only be neutralized by shredded gold. Mr. Krabs: Shredded...  gold?  Couldn't we use less expensive ingredients? Le Schnook: Price can be no object when it comes to dealing with exquisite food like zis. It must be prepared with only the finest ingredients, and eaten with only the finest silverware, while sitting on the finest furniture!  Zis... is not ze chair I ordered... Mr. Krabs: Yeah, well you see those were out of stock. Le Schnook: And zis fork of plastic... Spray painted to look silver, is it not?  I cannot prepare food UNDER ZESE CONDITIONS! Fancy Head Chief: Monsieur SpongeBob, although it is in direct violation of our chef exchange program rules, let me assure you that these kisses are not merely a formality. They are genuine!  I am sure that this is only the beginning of a long and...","Well, my time here is up. I am officially a Krusty Krab employee once again!"
"Fancy Head Chef: I apologize, Monsieur SpongeBob, but you can see that my customers had grown rather fond of your Krabby Patties.","The Krabby Patties, I almost forgot! These babies also belong to the Krusty Krab!  So long!"
"Customer: Wait, just one more?","I'm sorry, but I've got to go."
"Mr. Krabs: I'm ruined! Busted!  Hello? Pearl:  Daddy, the house is full of burglars. Mr. Krabs: No, those aren't burglars, Pearl. Those are just friendly repo men. Squidward: Mr. Krabs, tell these guys to let go of me! Mr. Krabs: Uh, well, you know, until I come up with the money I owe, I'm afraid you'll be staying with these nice gents. Squidward: You sold me?!? Mr. Krabs: No! Bartered is more like it. They keep you, I keep my kneecaps. Repo Man: Come on, mac! Squidward: You're pathetic! Mr. Krabs: Oh, Mr. Le Schnook... I lost everything! I'm bankrupt! You and your fancy eats are all I got left now. Le Schnook: Not quite. My time in the chef's exchange program has expired. So my eats and I are leaving.  This is for you. Mr. Krabs: Is it money? Le Schnook: It is the bill for my services. Repo Man: One side, please. Mr. Krabs: Oh, I've been such a fool! I turned away SpongeBob, the best fry cook I ever had, and it cost me everything!",Mr. Krabs?
"Mr. Krabs: Oh, I can still hear his sweet little voice.",Mr. Kra-a-abs?!
"Mr. Krabs: Okay, now I'm scared.",Mr. Krabs!
Mr. Krabs: Darn his cursed mocking voice! I...  SpongeBob?,"Ahoy, Mr. Krabs!"
"Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, me boy. You came back! And you brought customers! Mr. Krabs:  Well, Mr. Squidward, all's well that end's well. I got me poor disgusting old clientèle back, and rich disgusting new clientèle to boot!  I'm back in business! Squidward: Couldn't you at least give them tables to eat on? Mr. Krabs: Oh, no way. See, I've learned that you can't buy customer loyalty with fancy tables, froufrou food, or even sanitary conditions. Hey, get back you, eat your own.  Nope, just good food prepared with love. Ain't that right, SpongeBob?","You got it, Mr. Krabs. Oh, Squidward!"
"Squidward:  What do you want, SpongeBob?","Time for work, Squidward. Another day, another dollar."
Squidward: More like another nickel.,"Good one, Squidward!  Another day, another nickel."
Squidward: It's not that funny.,"It's funny, because it's true!"
Squidward: Move over.,Nickel.
Squidward:  Here's your food.  It's not that funny!  Please make it stop!,"Okay, Squidward, see you tomorrow."
Customer #1: And always check for spare change.,"Another day, another...nickel!  2 Krabby Patties."
"Customer #2: Thanks, kid.","Another day, another nickel."
"Customer #2: Oh. Squidward: He's gone laughing tormentor.  This could be my chance.  SpongeBob, you don't look well!",I don't?
Squidward: No. You should sit down.,But...
"Squidward:  Shh, shh, shh.  You're burning up, SpongeBob.",I am?
"Squidward: Tell me, SpongeBob, have your sides been hurting?","Yeah, a little."
Squidward: And your temperature is 175 degrees!,It's that bad?
"Squidward: Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. Unless you've been doing a lot of laughing.","I have been laughing a lot, lately."
"Squidward:  SpongeBob, you've got to be careful! You're going to burn out your laugh box.",My laugh box?
"Squidward: Yes, it's the part of your body that enables laughter. If you use it too long without giving it a break, it burns out and you can never laugh again.","Is that what happened to you, Squidward?"
"Squidward: Yes. What? No! Listen, SpongeBob, this is serious. If you burn your laugh box you live your whole life without ever laughing again. Sandy: Hey, Patrick, you want to hear a joke? Patrick: Sure, Sandy.","Sure, I'd love a good laugh."
Sandy: What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck!,"I don't want to burn out my laugh box, Squidward."
"Squidward: Well, the most important thing is to stop laughing. Any laugh at all could be dangerous.",How long do I have to avoid laughing?
"Squidward: Gosh, SpongeBob, I'd say at least for the rest of the day. But you better go 24 hours just to be safe.","Thank you so much, Squidward! I don't know what I'd do without you!  A day without laughter is a small price to pay to save my laugh box from utter destruction. I must remain vigilant.  Nothing funny over there.  Nothing funny over here."
"Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob, how's it going?","Patrick, banana peel, don't!"
Patrick: What'd you say?,"Oh, no."
"Patrick: Hey, what the...","Wait a minute, Patrick!  Please stop!"
Patrick: Right foot first...,"Wait, Patrick, I can't laugh."
"Patrick: You can't? Oh, I know what to do!  That usually knocks him out.","Get a grip on yourself, SpongeBob. You're in control.  Just back away from the whoopee cushion, SpongeBob.  They're everywhere. Everywhere!"
Delivery Fish: Look out for that pie truck!,"I gotta get outta here.  There's nothing funny up here. But just to be safe...  Ah, I made it 24 hours without laughing.  That's odd.  I've lost my laugh.  I've lost my laugh!"
"Patrick: Hi, SpongeBob.","It's terrible, Patrick. I can't laugh anymore!"
Patrick: What happened?,I went a whole day without laughing and now my laugh is gone.
"Patrick: Let me take a look.  Hmmm, it's dark in here. I better light a match. Mr. Krabs: Come in.",Mr. Krabs?
"Mr. Krabs: What's wrong, boy?",I lost my laugh.
"Mr. Krabs: You've come to the right place, son. Ya know, there's one thing that always makes me laugh.  Don't it just tickle you, boy?",Not really.
Mr. Krabs: This calls for drastic measures. I don't usually do this but you seem desperate. touch it.,Nothing.
"Mr. Krabs: Oh, this is worse than I thought. After all, money is the ultimate source of joy.",Maybe I should ask Sandy. She's a scientist.
"Sandy: Oh, it's easy if you approach it scientifically, SpongeBob. Now, what is laughter?","The thing that used to give my life meaning and purpose, but now mocks me with its cruel indifference."
"Sandy:  But scientifically speaking, it's caused by your epiglottis constricting your larynx causing irregular air intake and respiratory upset.",Sounds painful.
"Sandy: Science makes everything sound painful, SpongeBob.  Now, here's a humor theory textbook, laugh mechanics, and the quantum giggle theory.","Thank you, Sandy."
"Squidward: Ah, it sure is peaceful around here since SquarePants became a sad sack.",I read all the books and still nothing. I guess I'll never laugh again.
"Squidward: I really hate to see the little guy sad but not as much as I hate to see him happy. Narrator: Later that same evening... Squidward:  I think I found the one thing I hate more than his laugh. I'm sure he'll cry himself out soon.  What have I done?  Oh, that's it! This charade has to end.","Hi, Squidward."
"Squidward: SpongeBob, this infernal crying has to stop.","But Squidward, I...I broke my laugh box!"
"Squidward: SpongeBob, there's no such thing as a laugh box! I made the whole thing up to get some peace from your insipid laughter!",You mean...my laugh box isn't broken and it was a cruel lie that sent me into spiral depression.
"Squidward: (taken aback by the revelation) Uhh, well it sounds pretty harsh when you put it that way, but yes.",I could laugh the whole time?
Squidward: Yeah.  You really fell for it.,I guess I did.
Squidward: You even fell for the ol' thermometer in the boiling oil routine.,"It's really not that funny, Squidward."
Squidward: It's hilarious!,"See ya later, Squidward."
"Squidward:  Break your laugh box! What a schlemiel.  yahhhh! Patrick: Look, he's waking up. Squidward: (groans) Where am I? Sandy: You're in the hospital, silly. You broke your laugh box. Mr. Krabs: The doctor said it was the most tiny, dried-out, underused laugh box he ever laid eyes on. Patrick: So they cut it out. Squidward: Cut it out?! Patrick: Yeah, wanna see it?  It's fun to shake it up and watch it bounce around. Squidward:  Gimme! Oh. I can never laugh again? Doctor: Nonsense. Your laugh should be stronger than ever. Squidward: But, you cut out my laugh box. Doctor: Yes, but uhh, one of your friends generously allowed us to transplant part of theirs to you. Patrick: Nope. Mr. Krabs: They wouldn't pay me. Sandy: You're getting warmer. Squidward:  SpongeBob?","Hey, you laugh just like me.  Ah, there he goes off to share his laugh with the world. ♪La La La La La La La La! Getting clean! La La La La La doo doo doo! Oh, what a delightful day it is to get...♪  Noooooo!  Good thing I have a spare.  I still have one more thing to clean!  Oh, what would I do without you, wringer? Guess I'd be all wet!  And now I'm ready to go to work!  You've got to be more careful, SquarePants!  Always gotta be watching out for... things. Things like... ... that! Oh, I saw you. Not going to fool me this time, soap.  This is not going well."
"Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob, have you seen my rubber ducky?","Oh, is that it?"
"Patrick: I found you! Duckie Duck!  Quack, quack, quack!","Uhh, Patrick?"
Patrick: Huh...,"I hate to interrupt your reunion, but I kind of need your help over here."
"Patrick: What do you need, SpongeBob?","Well, I'm a little stuck, if you know what I mean."
"Patrick: Stuck? I can help with that.  There you go, buddy. Now you're stuck forever!","Gee, thanks, Patrick! Now I'm stuck for- fe, fe, fe, forever?!  Patrick, I wanted to get un-stuck, not more stuck! How am I going to get to work when I'm stuck here forever? Must get out of wringer!"
"Patrick:  There, is that better?","No, Patrick. It isn't. How am I supposed to flip patties like this?"
"Patrick: Okay, you know what, SquarePants? That's quitter talk. And are you a quitter?",No.
"Patrick: And are you going to let this wringer get between you and your passion?  Those sweet tomatoes, crisp onions. Are you, SpongeBob?","No. I'm won't let it get between me and those crisp onions, sweet tomatoes, fresh lettuce, a flame-broiled patty, a warm bun sprinkled with sesame seeds, served with a smile that says, Hey! I can! I'm ready!"
Patrick: That's the spirit!,"Woo!  Don't worry, Patrick! My spirits are still high! Hello, perfectly made Krabby Patty. Order's up!"
"Squidward: It's about time.  Hey, SpongeBob, love the outfit. Where'd you get it, the hardware store?!  Hardware store!","Hardware store! No, from my bathroom."
"Squidward: Well, I must say, it really completes your imbecile look. Way to go, buddy.","Aw, thanks, pal. Ohh! Squidward!  Squidward!  Are you okay?"
"Squidward: Please, just get away from me. Customer: Excuse me, can I have a refill on my soda?",Ohh! A refill!
"Customer: Oww! Oh, my foot! Oh, my foot!  Ow! My back!  My face!","Not to worry, sir. I'm comi-i-i-i-ing--  Whoa!  Don't worry, everybody, I'm ok-  Hey! Don't touch Mr. Krabs' money!"
Mr. Krabs:  Me money! What do you think you're doing?  That ain't yours.  Thank you very much. When I get my hands on that boy...,"Here, Mr. Krabs. I'll help."
"Mr. Krabs:  Help?! I think you've helped quite enough today.  And don't even think about coming back here until that destructive device of yours is gone! Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob, how was work?","Oh, an absolute disaster. I can't do anything without this stupid wringer getting in the way. Patrick, I am nothing more than a-- a bike rack. A sad, sad, sad, sad little bike rack."
Patrick: Hey! Don't you go crying on me!  Crying never solves anything. I know what always makes you feel better.,You were right! Ice cream always makes me feel better!
Patrick: Dig in!,I can't even eat ice cream now! This dumb wringer's in the way!
"Patrick: Ohh! Oh! The spinning steering wheels! Oh, we got to do that!",I don't know... I have too much eye pain.
Patrick: SpongeBob?,"Oh, dear Neptune! Why?!"
"Patrick: Hey, pal, want some of my cotton candy? They gave it to me when I won the dart tournament. I got this, too!  Check it out!","That's nice, Patrick, but I don't want any cotton candy."
"Patrick: Well, have some. It'll make you feel better.",I said I don't want any!
Patrick: You ruined my cotton candy!,Good! Maybe now you know how I feel about you ruining my life!
Ball Toss Vendor: Check it out! Public fight! Other Vendor: Working at the carnival sure has its perks!,I have never felt so ashamed.
Patrick: What do you mean?,"If it wasn't for your Forever Glue, I wouldn't be stuck in this thing!"
Patrick: I was only trying to help.,Help?! I think you've helped quite enough today!
"Patrick: Okay, if that's how you feel... I won't help you anymore!","Heh, heh, a lot of drama with that one."
"Sandals: You know, kid, your body isn't the problem. It's your heart.  You deserve what you've gotten. Come on, we're out of here.  Some people are just born mean. Patrick:  Forget SpongeBob, I don't need him.  I can do whatever I want!  I don't need him.  Forget it, you're not his friend anymore. I gotta keep myself occupied so I don't think about Sponge--  I'm not gonna even say his name! What to do, what to do... I know! I'll have a staring contest!  Ohh, fiddlesticks. That game's too hard. Patrick in a Thought Bubble: Maybe if SpongeBob was here, he could give you pointers. Patrick: Who asked you?!  Forget it! I'll just play...uh... fetch!  Where is it? Where is it? Gotcha!  Is SpongeBob okay? Oh, what do I care? I'm no longer supposed to help.  Buddy!  Uhh! SpongeBob?  SpongeBob? Hey, what are you watching?","My favorite show.  Ha, ha, I love that part!"
"Patrick: SpongeBob! Snap out of it! It's me, your best friend, Patrick!",What's that? I can't hear you what with all the lonely voices in my head.
"Patrick: Oh, man, he's too far gone.",Not fit to live in society...
Patrick:  This is all my fault!  Me and my dumb ideas! I'm so sorry!,Patrick! Your tears! They're melting the glue! Keep crying! I'll do the same and maybe I can slip out of this thing!  Look! It worked!
SpongeBob and Patrick: All right!,"I guess crying does solve your problems after all.  Come here, buddy!"
"Patrick: Well, at least we're together! Heh. Hey, should I get the glue? Squidward: There's my hat... and there's that, and here we go. SpongeBob and Patrick:","Wey, wook. It's Widward!"
Squidward: What? SpongeBob and Patrick:,Widward's woing to work.
SpongeBob and Patrick: Squidward: Patrick: Where does he work? Wat the Wusty Wab? SpongeBob and Patrick: Squidward: What's that supposed to be— some kind of stupid secret code?,We can't tell you 'cause you're not a member of the club.
"Squidward: Oh, yeah? What does it take to be a member, besides being a moron?  Moron...  as a requirement.","Sorry, Squidward, but you couldn't get in even if you tried!"
"Squidward: Huh? Well, I'll have you know that I am a member of over 20 different exclusive clubs all across the sea bottom! Patrick:  What did he say?",I don't know. Something about his nose?
"Patrick:  Squidward, you and your nose will definitely NOT fit in. Squidward: Oh, what do you two zeros know about fitting in?  Why, you should be begging me to join! SpongeBob and Patrick: Squidward! Squidward, no, no, no! Stop! No, no, no, stop, please, please! Stop, Squidward! You can't join! You can't join! Can't join! You can't get in! Squidward: Well, this is stupid. There's no room up here! Patrick: That's what we've been trying to tell you!",We've been stuck up here for three days.
Patrick: We told you you wouldn't fit in. Squidward:,"Well, since you're here, Squidward, we'll give you the new member initiation. Are you ready, Patrick?"
"Patrick: Ready! SpongeBob and Patrick:  Welcome to our club! Welcome to our club! Welcome Squidward! Welcome Squidward! Welcome Squidward! Welcome Squidward! Welcome Squid...! Squidward: SHUT YOUR HALF-WIT PIEHOLES!!!  I do not now, nor will I ever, want to be a member of your stupid club! Nancy: Whoa! Frank: Make a wish, honey. SpongeBob and Patrick: Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo-hoo! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Again! Oh, yeah! Again! Squidward: Oh, no. That didn't just happen. Please tell me that didn't happen! Patrick: What happened? Squidward: Where are we? We're lost! There's no way out! Stuck... in the middle of nowhere... with SpongeBob and Patrick! Squidward: Oh, why must every 11 minutes of my life be filled with misery?!?! WHY-Y-Y-T?!","Cheer up, Squidward, it could be worse."
"Patrick: Yeah, you could be bald and have a big nose. Squidward: Well... this is the end.","No it's not, Squidward!"
Patrick:  It's not?,"Come on, guys, we're gonna be fine!  As long as we stick together. Remember, we're a club!"
SpongeBob and Patrick:,"And besides, we have this!"
Squidward: What's that? Patrick: Ohhh! The Magic Conch Shell! Ask it something! Ask it something!,"Magic Conch Shell, will I ever get married?"
Magic Conch: Maybe someday. SpongeBob and Patrick:  Oooohhhh! Squidward: You've got to be kidding! That is just a stupid toy! How can that possibly help us?,"Squidward, we must never question the wisdom of the Magic Conch. The club always takes its advice before we do anything."
Patrick: The shell knows all!,"Oh, Magic Conch Shell. What do we need to do to get out of the Kelp Forest?"
"Magic Conch: Nothing. Patrick: The shell has spoken! Squidward: Nothing?! We can't just sit here and do nothing! Squidward:  I can't believe you two are gonna take advice from a toy! Squidward:  All right, all right, all right! I don't need your help. I'm gonna find my way back to sanity!  But don't you two sad clowns come crying to me when your circus tent comes crashing down! Sad clowns...  sad...  clowns.  What was that? I was already here! Which way do I go? Oh, I'm lost!  Ohh... I'm hopelessly lost! I'll never get out of here!  Huh? Hhahahahahahaahhaa!!  I'm FREE!! Take that SpongeBob and Patrick!! Ahahaha!! Ahahaha!!  Ohhh, there's no way out of here...  How's it going over there at Club Shell-for-Brains? Mmm-mmm-mmm. I am hungry. I wonder what's on the menu for Club Squidward tonight?  Ah...  Doesn't that smell good, SpongeBob? You haven't eaten in days.  How about you, Patrick? A big boy's gotta eat. Well, you can't have any.  And do you know why, SpongeBob? Because your club president is a shell!  If you had listened to me you'd have food, shelter, and a roaring fire. But instead you listened to a talking clam...  that tells you nothing.  As if the answers to all your problems will fall right out of the sky. Hahaha, fall right out of the sky! Scooter: DUDE! We're falling right out the sky! We gotta drop the load! SpongeBob and Patrick: Praise the Magic Conch! Squidward: Uh, hey, uh, SpongeBob... that sure is a lot of food you got there.",It's a gift from the Magic Conch.
"Squidward: Everything sure looks delicious.  Oh! Smoked sausages! My favorite!  Uh, hey, uh,  SpongeBob, I...you know I was just kidding around earlier and-and-and I-I-I mean I'm... I'm still part of the club, right? And... and-and-and-and-and after all, the-the club's gotta stick together, and I-I mean... you know, I-I, um...",Squidward?
Squidward: Umm...uh..yeah?,"Once a member, always a member!"
"SpongeBob and Patrick:  To the club! Squidward: Yeah.  Now, uh, if you'll excuse me...  All right... what shall I eat first? The spaghetti, the turkey, the soup, the canned meat?","Why don't you ask... the magic conch, Squidward?"
"Squidward: Oh, yeah, like that'll happen. Right after I consult the Magic Toenail.","Squidward, are you questioning the authority of the Magic Conch? The conch is the one who gave us this banquet. This copyrighted conch is the cornerstone of our organization."
"Patrick:  Maybe he's not a brother. Squidward:  Hey, y-you guys have it all wrong. I-I love this, uh, piece of plastic.  Uh, hello there. Magic Conch, uh, I was wondering... uh, should I have the spaghetti or the turkey? Magic Conch: Neither. Squidward: Oh. Then how about the soup? Magic Conch: I don't think so. Squidward:  Could I have anything to eat? Magic Conch: No. Squidward: No?! What do you mean no? I'm starving here! Patrick:  Here, let me try. Magic Conch, could Squidward have some of this yummy, delicious, super-terrific sandwich? Magic Conch: No. Patrick: Hmm...  Could I have this yummy, delicious, super-terrific sandwich? Magic Conch: Yes. Patrick: All right!  Sorry, Squidward. Squidward: Give me that!  Could I have something to eat? Magic Conch: No. Squidward: Could I have something to eat? Magic Conch: No. Squidward: Could I have something to eat!? Magic Conch: No. Squidward: Can't you say anything else but no?! Magic Conch: Try asking again. Squidward:  Can I have something to eat? Magic Conch:  No!","Squidward, are you all right?"
"Patrick: Maybe we should ask the shell if he's okay. Kelp Forest Ranger:  Hello? Anyone there? Hello? HELLO?!  Do you folks need some help? Squidward:  I'm saved!  You don't know how happy I am to see you. I have been stranded out here for weeks with-with-with these two barnacle heads and their Magic Conch Shell! Kelp Forest Ranger: Magic... Conch... Shell?  You mean like this?! SpongeBob and Patrick:  The Magic Conch! A club member! Kelp Forest Ranger: SpongeBob and Patrick: Squidward:  Uhhbuuuhhh... Kelp Forest Ranger: My conch told me to come save you guys. SpongeBob, Patrick and Kelp Forest Ranger: Hooray for the magic conches! Kelp Forest Ranger:  All right, Magic Conch. What do we do now? Magic Conch: Nothing. SpongeBob, Patrick, and Kelp Forest Ranger: All hail the Magic Conch! Squidward: All hail the magic conch! es:El club de Bob Esponja (Transcripción)","Backing up!  Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop..."
Squidward: You're better off not knowing.,"...boop, boop, boop!  Your Krabby Patty, sir."
Harold: Do you always serve your food this way?,"You mean with a smile? Yes, sir!"
"Patrick: Beware! Let it be known to all far and wide, The mollusks are coming! Tally, ho!  The mollusks are coming! The mollusks are coming! The mollusks are coming! The mollusks are coming!",Not the mollusks!
Patrick: Mollusks? What mollusks?,"There aren't any mollusks coming, are there, Patrick?"
"Patrick: No. I was only pretending to be my famous, Great-Great-Great Uncle, Patrick Revere! He rode through the streets warning Bikini Bottom of the coming hordes of ravenous, man-eating mollusks! Patrick Revere: The mollusks are coming! The mollusks are coming! Patrick: It's too bad nobody listened to him. Fish #2: What beeth the deal with ye olde nutcase?","Wow, Patrick. I didn't know you had a famous relative."
"Patrick: Well the best part about it is, I don't have to accomplish anything in life, because my Uncle already did it for me. Really takes the old pressure off. Mr. Krabs: That's nothing! My Great-Great Grandpappy Krabs invented the greatest thing since loose change! The spendthrift billfold system! Allow me to demonstrate.  Hey SpongeBob, how about a raise?","Gee, thanks, Mr. Krabs!"
"Mr. Krabs: A-a-ah, watch.  See?",Doesn't that hurt?
Mr. Krabs: Every time!,"Gosh, I don't have anyone famous in my family."
"Patrick: Oh, well then it's lucky you have me as a famous friend. Or your life would be a hollow shell.","I'll bet you're someone's famous poop-covered ancestor.  I never realized how sad and empty my life was, until my friends pointed it out."
Sandy: HI-YAH!,"Hi, Sandy."
"Sandy: Something wrong, SpongeBob? You look sadder than a bullfrog full of sody-pop.","Do you have any famous relatives, Sandy?"
"Sandy: I sure do! My great aunt Rosie Cheeks was the first squirrel to discover oil. At Spindletop, Texas. Voice: She's ready to blow!",Seems like everybody in town has a famous relative. Everybody except me.
"Sandy: Come on, I'll bet y'all got someone famous in your family tree.","Well, there was my uncle Sherm.  He could stick an entire watermelon up his nose."
"Sandy: That's not the kind of famous I mean. Come on. Let's do a little digging around your family tree. Sandy: Family Histories of Bikini Bottom. Let's see, SquareHead, SquareShirt, SquarePants, Hey, looky here!",Gasp!
Sandy: It's a statue of SpongeBuck SquarePants!,I've never even heard of him! He got his own statue?
"Sandy: Says here he saved the entire town of Dead Eye Gulch, that's what Bikini Bottom was known as back in the old west days.  It was a town that lived under the tyranny of a nasty crook 'til a mysterious stranger came to town. SpongeBuck: Wow! The big city! Well, time to make my fortune. Sandy: Back in them days, the whole place was run by that no-good galoot, Dead Eye! SpongeBuck: Shoo-Wee! This place sure is big and fancy-like! Gee, willigers! They got an ice cream parlor!  I'll take one scoop of vanilly ice cream, please. Fish #4: You're new here, aren't you? SpongeBuck: Yep. I just got off from the train. Fish #4: You don't say. William Krabs: Business is good today! SpongeBuck: Howdy do, y'all? Hopalong Tentacles: Great, another hayseed. William Krabs:  Charge him double for his drinks. SpongeBuck: Howdy, partner!  Pardon, but is this stool taken? Fish #5: Yeah. Some fancy dude just sat in it. Hopalong: What can I get you, stranger? SpongeBuck: Give me a shot of milk. Hopalong: Milk? SpongeBuck: Two percent. Hopalong: Think you can handle it? SpongeBuck: I drink this stuff every day. Over the lips and through the gums, look out tapeworm, here it comes! Get ready Tapey.  Aah,  Oh, yeah! Smooth. Hopalong: Right. William Krabs: What brings you to Dead Eye Gulch, stranger? Hopalong: Strange is right. SpongeBuck: The name's SpongeBuck. I left home to make my way here in the big city. I'm here for the job. William Krabs: Wonderful! You're hired.  Hey everybody! Meet our new sheriff! SpongeBuck: Sheriff? I'm not here for the sheriff job. I'm here for the fry cook job.  Back home, I'm known for my rootin-tootin, never-pootin chili. The spiciest chili west of the old west farm. William Krabs: No offense, kid. But your chili tastes terrible. SpongeBuck: In a good way? William Krabs: No, in a terrible way. Look, we already gave you the badge. And the law of the west says: no take backs! Hopalong: Since when? William Krabs: Shshshshshsh! So that means, you're the new sheriff! SpongeBuck: What happened to the old sheriff? William Krabs: Uh, he's at Boot Hill. SpongeBuck: Gasp! And, why is he at boot hill? William Krabs: Because Old Dead Tree Hill was totally full. Pecos Patrick: He's a' coming! Dead Eye's a' coming! Citizens of Dead Eye Gulch: Dead Eye?! William Krabs and Hopalong: Dead Eye?! SpongeBuck: Who's Dead Eye? Pecos Patrick: I'll tell you who Dead Eye is! But I shall do it through song. Maestro, if you please.  ♪Oh, Bikini Gulch was a purdy place with sweet water and blue sky. 'Til one day a beast 'come a-riding from the east by the name of Ol' Dead Eye.♪ Citizens of Dead Eye Gulch: ♪That dirty, no-good Dead Eye!♪ Pecos Patrick: ♪Oh, he's robbed this town, he's pulled my pants down!♪ Polene Puff: ♪He made all the pretty girls cry!♪ William Krabs: ♪That no-good goon wants my saloon! And me I.O.U's due tomorrow noon! If we don't get some help here real soon...♪ Citizens of Dead Eye Gulch: ♪We'll lose everything we own to Dead Eye! We'd stop him if we weren't too scared to try!♪ Pecos Patrick: ♪And if you think that's funny, let me tell you, sonny, you won't be laughing when you SEE...♪  ♪HIS...♪  ♪BIG...♪  ♪RED...♪  ♪DEAD EYE!♪ Citizens of Dead Eye Gulch and SpongeBuck: ♪Dead Eye!♪ Dead Eye Plankton: That's me! Dead Eye Plankton! Pecos Patrick: Who?... Hopalong: We just sang a whole song about him! Dead Eye Plankton: Well, what are you looking at?! Pecos Patrick: Aw, again? Dead Eye Plankton: Get up you two! I'm here for my... money, Krabs  . William Krabs:  What? How am I supposed to keep the deed to me saloon if you keep taking all me mortgage payments? I'm going broke, here! Dead Eye Plankton: That's the idea!  I thought we were all clear on that. William Krabs: Oh, yeah. Dead Eye Plankton: I'll be back at high noon tomorrow for the deed! SpongeBuck: Hey! That's not your money. Dead Eye Plankton: WHO SAID THAT?  Well, last time I checked, this town was Dead Eye Gulch! Not Yokelburg!  then  Yokelburg...  Who are you anyway? SpongeBuck: I'm SpongeBuck, the new sheriff. Want some chili? Dead Eye Plankton: Sheriff!  'Round these parts we call them coffin jockeys! SpongeBuck: Coffin jockeys!?  You didn't say anything about that! Dead Eye Plankton:  That must be a new record for running off a sheriff. SpongeBuck:  Hope I haven't missed the first post. Whoa, girl! Dead Eye Plankton: Where do you get these guys?  All right, kid. I'm going to make it simple for you. I'm a villain, got it? SpongeBuck: Uh huh. Dead Eye Plankton: And this town ain't big enough for the both of us! Understand? SpongeBuck: Yep. Dead Eye Plankton: So, vamoose! Or we're going to have to settle this western-style at high noon, savvy? SpongeBuck: Sounds great! Dead Eye Plankton: You have no idea what I'm talking about? SpongeBuck: Nope. Dead Eye Plankton: (sighs)  And stay out! Hey, only three seconds off my record!  What are you hayseeds looking at?  Get out of here! Fish #6: What's gonna happen to the town now, Pa? Fish #7: I ain't your pa. Dead Eye Plankton: I love this town! SpongeBuck: Whoa, gal, whoa! Whoa!  Looks like the end of the trail. We're out of food,  water, and lip balm!  I'm sorry, old Paint! Guess I have to put you out your misery! So long, old friend! Cowbone #1: Hey, buddy, you better be careful. Heat does funny things to your head. SpongeBuck: It does? Cowbone #2: Oh, don't listen to that guy, kid! He's looney! Pecos Patrick: Oh, hey SpongeBuck! Those guys are a barrel of laughs, huh? But lazy! Anyway, you've got to get back and save the town, sheriff! SpongeBuck: I ain't no sheriff. Or fry cook or even coffin jockey, and I'm no match for Dead Eye Plankton! I'm nothing. Pecos Patrick: Out west, a man gets right back up on his coffin and faces his problems with the help of his idiot sidekick friend! That's me!  Duhhh... SpongeBuck: I don't know,  Ow! Okay, okay! I'll do it! Just stop hurtin' me! Besides, you're right! It's time I stepped up and looked him in the eye! So, I'll go back to Dead Eye Gulch, whip Plankton, and save the town at high noon! Pecos Patrick: Hop on, buddy! SpongeBuck: Thanks, idiot friend! But I don't know how we'll ever get back to Dead Eye Gulch by high noon. Pecos Patrick: Don't worry. I got a short-cut. He-ya! Polene Puff: Why are we going so fast? William Krabs: 'Cause without a sheriff, Dead Eye won't stop until he has the clothes off our backs! Dead Eye Plankton:  Great idea!  Okay, let's see,  personal possessions, clothes off your backs, that should about do it! Look, I'm just going to drop off all my new stuff at the bank. I'll be back at high noon to rub my victory in your face with a little dance. Uh huh, waa-waa! Uh huh, waa-waa! Hopalong: I gotta admit, he's got skills. Dead Eye Plankton: That's right! And when I take the deed to your saloon, Krabs, I'll own every building in town! And you'll all have to work for me the rest of your miserable lives!  Swallowed a bug! I hate that. It totally ruins an evil laugh. Yee-how! William Krabs: So, that's it. Polene Puff: We lost. Hopalong: I don't know how it could get any worse. SpongeBuck: Hi, guys! I'm back in the nick of time! Pecos Patrick: We're heroes! Hopalong: You're morons! Polene Puff: It's too late. Plankton's taken everything! SpongeBuck: But it's only 11:55. The final showdown always takes place at high noon. Polene Puff: Well, I guess the early bird gets the worm. Hopalong: And all our stuff. William Krabs: And me money! Me beautiful, beautiful money! SpongeBuck: You can't give up! Before I came here, I would've given up, too. But in the short 20 minutes I've known you, I've come to love Dead Eye Gulch. William Krabs: Could you get to the point? We're freezing! SpongeBuck: What I'm a saying is if we all team up together, we can stand up to Dead Eye Plankton, and run him right out of Dead Eye Gulch for good! So, what do you say? William Krabs: Well, I think we all know the answer. All: Forget it, SpongeBuck! Pecos Patrick: Why are you all standing in your pajamas? No, don't tell me. Oh, I know! You're throwing a slumber party! Pillow fight! SpongeBuck: That pillow sure packs a wallop! Pecos Patrick: It's made out of wood,  like all pillows in the old west. Round 2? SpongeBuck: I do believe I'd sit this one out. Pecos Patrick: Looks like it's just you and me, kid. SpongeBuck: Come on, guys! We can do this! If we work together! William Krabs: No offense, kid. But your advice is as terrible as your chili. SpongeBuck: I don't blame you for losing faith. I lost faith too. But then, I discovered the love of my new idiot friend. And we've come far. So I'm sure with all of us working together, in idiot friendship, we can beat Dead Eye and save the town! So let's huddle up and make a plan, together! Bzbzbzbzbzb Pecos Patrick: Uh huh, SpongeBuck: Bzbzbzbzbzbzb Pecos Patrick: Uh huh, uh huh, SpongeBuck: Bzbzbzbzbzbzbzbzb Hopalong: Uh, SpongeBuck, why do you keep saying bzbzbzbzbzbzb? SpongeBuck: Umm... Hopalong: You don't have a plan, do you? SpongeBuck: No. To be honest, I didn't think I'd get this far.  But I know we can beat him! If we just work together! Dead Eye Plankton: Oh, I am terrified. All: Dead Eye Plankton?! Dead Eye Plankton: So, fry cook, you're back! And all alone. SpongeBuck: You wish, Dead Eye! We are united! Right-- Hey! William Krabs: We're right behind you, boy! WAY, WAY behind you! Dead Eye Plankton: So, it's come to this. Mano y mano. SpongeBuck: Well, you can hold the mano, because it's come down to you and me! Dead Eye Plankton: Well, well, well, look at the time! High noon!  Ow!  I hate all of you! William Krabs: Can I try? Dead Eye Plankton: You can't do this! Pecos Patrick: Three yee-haws for SpongeBuck! Citizens of Dead Eye Gulch: Yee-Haw! Yee-Haw! Yee-Haw! Mr. Krabs: Step right up, folks! Just a dollar to stomp on old Dead Eye Plankton! Dead Eye Plankton:  Ah! Ouch! Ooh! Polene Puff: Take that, you no-good little varmint! Dead Eye Plankton: I have a lot of money! Pecos Patrick: Well, sheriff, you beat Dead Eye Plankton and saved the town. SpongeBuck: You forgot the most important part. Pecos Patrick:  What's that? SpongeBuck: I discovered the power of idiot friendship. Pecos Patrick: Come with me, I want to show you something. William Krabs: Thank you, sheriff SpongeBuck for saving our town. And for stepping on that little varmint. Dead Eye Plankton: History will vindicate me! William Krabs: We melted down Plankton's gold and made a statue in your honor. Citizens of Dead Eye Gulch: Oooh! Hopalong: I liked my design better. William Krabs: Sorry about the whole “tricking you into being sheriff” thing. And to make it up to you, I've got a new badge for you. If you'll take it. SpongeBuck: Wow! Fry cook!  Thank you, good people of Bikini Gulch! The statue is truly amazing! Maybe a little too heavy in the hindquarters, but still, if I ever have a Great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandson, I'd want him to look at this and say 'Hey! I'm proud of my Great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandfather!' Citizens of Bikini Gulch: Aaw! Fish #8: Say seaweed!",So my Great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandpa SpongeBuck saved the town of Bikini Gulch! And everyone in it! I wonder what happened to the statue of my Great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandpa.  It was much better than that one we have now.
"Sandy: Yeah, and it's covered in jellyfish poop.","Wait a minute,"
"Sandy: Gross! Don't touch that, SpongeBob! Eeew! What are you doing?!  That boy ain't hooked up right.","Look, Sandy!"
Sandy: HUH?!,"SpongeBuck was here all along! Sorry, Great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandpa. I didn't recognize you all covered in poop."
Sandy:  Wow!,I've got a lot to live up to. Maybe one day people will know the name SpongeBob SquarePants!
"Sandy: Keep dreaming, SpongeBob. Keep dreaming. SpongeBuck: Hey, everybody! It's good to be here at the Krusty Kantina! We got a real special show for y'all tonight! Featuring my new best pal, this guy!  He's an idiot! Pecos Patrick: So, what are we gonna sing about, SpongeBuck? SpongeBuck: We're gonna sing a song about friends! Pecos Patrick: What kind of friends, SpongeBuck? SpongeBuck: Well, listen up and I'll tell you! ♪Who's there for you when you are sad and down?♪ Buffalo Skulls: ♪Idiot Friends!♪ Pecos Patrick: ♪Who picks you up and slaps you all around?♪ Clouds: ♪Idiot Friends!♪ SpongeBuck: ♪Who puts thorns in you so you can save the town?♪ Pecos Patrick: ♪Idiot Friends, Idiot Friends--♪ SpongeBuck & Pecos Patrick: ♪--Idiot Friends!♪ Pecos Patrick: ♪Duh, duh duh duh du duh duh do.♪ SpongeBuck & Pecos Patrick: ♪Idiot Friends!♪ Pecos Patrick: ♪Dah de da da da da da do.♪ SpongeBuck & Pecos Patrick: ♪Idiot Friends!♪ Pecos Patrick: ♪De da da da-doodle, duh do.♪ You know, SpongeBuck, all we've been singing about is what I've done for you. Well, what have you done for me? SpongeBuck: ♪Who helps you pick your pants up off the ground?♪ Pecos Patrick: Thanks, buddy! Dead Eye Plankton: Curses! Pecos Patrick: Only an idiot friend would do that! SpongeBuck: Let's bring it home, idiot friend! Pecos Patrick: Okay. SpongeBuck: ♪Who lets you ride on his coffin?♪ Pecos Patrick: ♪Who slaps you hard and often?♪ SpongeBuck: ♪What do you and me have in common?♪ SpongeBuck and Pecos Patrick: ♪We're idiot friends!♪ SpongeBuck: Thank you, thank you very much. Dead Eye Plankton: Help me!","HIYA! HIYA! YA! YA! YA! YA! YA! YA! Ta-daa! A gift, in your likeness."
Gary: Meow!,"‘Cause you're so sweet... Get it?! 'Cause pineapples are sweet, and you are sweet also as well. Get it?!"
"Patrick: Hey, buddy. You still got that bucket of cheese?  Oh no! He's... not right! Don't worry, pal! I'll help you! Patrick: Buddy! You okay?","Ahhh. Patrick, Thank you so much! If it weren't for your tremendous gorilla strength, I would've been a goner! If there's anything I can do to return the favor, anything at all... you just let me know. Anyway, back to my Karate exercises.  Oh, and help yourself to the cheese bucket. Thanks again, buddy. HIYA!"
Patrick:   Hey! I want to learn how to do that.,"What, what, you mean karate?"
Patrick: Uh-huh!,"Oh, Patrick, Patrick, Patrick... my dear, dear friend. Karate is a delicate art, a skill that takes years to..."
"Patrick: If I recall correctly, I seem to remember saving your life a few minutes ago.",Yeah... However...
"Patrick: I also remember you saying, If there's anything you can do to return the favor, anything at all... to let you know.","Well, I did say that, Patrick, but, well, karate is about finesse, not so much brute strength. You see, there's so much you don't know. You have not even scratched the surface of the surface."
Patrick: Then teach me.,"As you wish, just remember one thing. With power, comes responsibility."
Patrick: Oh yeah! Mama!,Okay. Let's start off simple. This is a basic move called the inverted whirlpool.
Patrick: Inverty whirpey... Got it! Patrick: Woohoo! That was awesome!,Think you can handle that?
"Patrick: Yeah! Yeah!  Ha Ha Ha Oh Yeah! Oh Yeah!  Hey, how do you stop this thing? Harold: Neptune's trousers! What's that?!","Now, this is very easy, watch closely.  Haa-haah. You got it?"
Patrick: Definitely!,"Patrick, I didn't want to have to say this... but you're... you're unteachable."
Patrick: What?! I...!  Barnacles!,"Look what you did to this wall of cinder blocks. In all my years of training, I've never seen a perfect slice. No one's ever been able to execute such a clean karate chop through solid cinder!"
Patrick: Wow!,You're a natural! A karate genius!
Patrick: Clamo!,"Now let's put your new skills to the test. This is sharpened, tempered steel. Now don't be frustrated if it takes a few tri- . Wow. Amazing! This is an abandoned, broad-ironed steamboat, solid as a rock. Think you got what it takes? Ahhh... better luck next time."
Patrick: Yeah! I bet I can chop anything! Sadie: AAAAAHHHH! Patrick: HIIIII-,Noooooo! What did I tell you?!
Patrick: I'm a genius?,Not that!  ...this. : With power... comes responsibility. That means no chopping of any life from or their property. You understand?
Patrick: Yesss...,"Good!  Oh man, I'm late for work.  See you later, buddy. Don't forget what I said."
Patrick: Okay! I'm a genius! Patrick:  Karate power! Squidward:  What's this? Hhmmm... haven't seen this before.,"Hey, look, it's Patrick!"
"Patrick: Hi-yah, SpongeBob!",What are you doing... Dear Neptune!
"Patrick: Good day, gents! Ahhh, Squidward, I would like a HIYAAA! Squidward: A... What? Patrick: I said one Krusty Combo. Don't you speak karate? Squidward: Patrick:  Looks delish.","Patrick, don't you think you're taking your perfect slice a bit too far?"
"Patrick: I don't know what you're talking about. You're the one who called me a karate genius. And, frankly, I'm offended by your previous accusation. I don't need this! I beg you good due.","But, but, but-"
Patrick: No buts! Just hands.,Oooohhh!
"Mr. Krabs: You do realize I'm taking that out of your pay check. Patrick: Uuuuuhhhhh... Seaweed Surprise! Also!... uuuuuuhhhhh... Malted Coral Crunch!  Oooh... Ooh, also, Lipids and Creme! Lou: We're all out. In fact, we're out of everything, which means you owe us $86.50 Patrick: What do you say to a trade? Lou: I say, pay up before I call the cops. Patrick: You dare refuse my barter?!?! Then accept my chop!  Ahhh... I don't feel so good. Billy: Aha! Hand in the tip jar again, eh! Patrick:  What is that wonderful stench?  Whatcha got there? Harold: Spinach and chocolate spaghetti in calamari sauce. You wanna bite? Patrick:  NO! It's more fun to chop! Hahahahahahaha! Patrick: I win, I win, I win! Patrick: HIYAA HIYAA- Lifeguard fish: Help! Help! There's a mad chopper on the loose!",Mad chopper?! Patrick!
"Lifeguard fish: We need the cops, kid!","Cops? No, that won't be necessary. I'll handle this, citizen."
Lifeguard fish: Don't do it kid.,"Unhand my ankle, sir, my friend needs me."
Lifeguard fish: You don't know what you're doing. Don't walk out that door! NOOOOO!,"Patrick, what are you doing?"
"Patrick: SpongeBob, just the man I was looking for. I wanted to thank you, buddy.",For what?
"Patrick: For teaching me how to karate chop, silly.","You gotta stop, buddy, you're destroying the entire town!"
Patrick:  Wooooooooooo.,"Just stop chopping, okay, Patrick?"
"Patrick: You got it, buddy. No more karate chops!",You're still chopping!
"Patrick: I know! Weird, huh?","Patrick, stop it!"
"Patrick: Oh. Okay. I know, I'll stop a chop, with a chop!","You must resist!  AHHHHHAAHH! Wait up, Patrick!  Triton's tunic!"
"Fish : He's headed straight for the Barg'N-Mart! Patrick:  HIYA YA! Oh, no! Not the muffin display... YAAAAH! News Reporter: This just in, a mad man is chopping everything. Patrick: Not the giant-screen TVs!  Oh no! News Reporter: The suspect is considered fat, pink, and dangerous. Patrick: Oh, oh! Gianter TVs! HIYAAA!","Pull it together, buddy!"
"Patrick: I'm trying to, but this thing has a mind of its owwwnnnn...  YAAAAAA! Patrick:  SpongeBob! SpongeBob? SpongeBob! SpongeBob! SpongeBob!  Oh, no! I'm so sorry, my best friend, crushed by all this rubble, entombed in this cheap, plastic bag. Dennis:  That isn't your friend, you kelp-for-brains. Those are cleaning sponges. Patrick:  So I haven't crushed the life of my best friend in the world? Dennis: Ummmm...I wouldn't say that. Patrick:  SpongeBob! Oh no!  Ohhh, I'll never forgive myself  No! I'll never forgive you!","Oh, hi, Patrick. What did I miss?"
"Patrick: SpongeBob, you're okay!",Patrick! Your arm!
"Patrick: Ha! Don't worry, SpongeBob, I'm a sea star. My limbs grow back. See?",Hooray for regeneration!
"Patrick: And in the spirit of healing, I vow to use my hands only to join things together, starting here!","Hey, great job, Patrick! I like the architectural details."
Patrick #2: HIYAAA!,Patrick! I thought you gave up chopping!
"Patrick: Oh, I did. Unfortunately, we sea stars have limbs that grow new bodies. Patrick #2: HIYYAA!","Hey, somebody left me a package!  Heavy! I wonder what's inside."
Stanley: Phew! Cramped in there.,Cousin Stanley!
Stanley: Cousin SpongeBob!,"So, what brings you to Bikini Bottom, Stanley?"
"Stanley: Uncle Sherm said I should come visit you. I have a note from him somewhere. Oh, right. It's in here.  Here it is.","Dear SpongeBob. I'm sending your cousin Stanley to live with you. He can't hold down a job and he ruins everything he touches. I can't take it anymore. Maybe you can straighten him out. Love, Uncle Sherm. Well, you're always welcome here, Stanley! My pineapple is your pineapple."
Stanley: Wow! You've got your own refrigerator. I'm not allowed near the fridge at Uncle Sherm's.  Whoa!,"Oh well, now I don't have to clean it out."
Stanley:  Yahahaahoo!,Stanley! You okay in there Stanley?
Stanley: Your toilet is so cool! Is that what I think it is?,"Well, it was bath night."
"Stanley: Gee... Whee... Announcer: Only $29.99! Squirrel: You'll never take me alive, flat foot! Stanley: Uncle Sherm never let me watch TV at home.",Why not?
Stanley: That's why... What's that?,"Oh, that's okay. There's nothing good on TV anyway.  Nothing..."
Stanley:  You work at the Krusty Krab!?,I don't just work there! I'm vice assistant general manager in charge of certain things. That's me turning the front door key! That's me serving a customer! And that's me performing sanitary maintenance!
Stanley: Oh! Who's that?,"Oh, that. That's me making Krabby Patties! The best job in the world. It's my calling."
Stanley: I wish I had a calling.,"Oh, Stanley. You just haven't found your purpose in life, that's all!"
Stanley: You really think so?,"I know so. I bet my friend Squidward can help you!  Hi, Squidward. I'd like you to meet my cousin, Stanley."
Stanley: We're related. Squidward: There's two of them?! Squidward: Step on it! Stanley: Your friend Squidward seems busy.,"Oh, it's okay. I'm sure my friend Sandy can think of something. She's a scientist!"
"Sandy: Hey, SpongeBob. Who's your friend?","This is my cousin, Stanley SquarePants. I thought you could teach him how to be a scientist."
"Sandy: Why, sure! Glad to meet you, partner. Stanley: Nice to meet you too, Sa...  Whoa! Sandy: Uh oh.  Y’all... darn it!","Err... Maybe you're not scientist material. But don't you worry. I bet Patrick can help you! He's a genius!  And so, Mr. Star, that's why we came to you."
"Patrick: Looking for your calling, huh?  Hmmm... So, what are you good at? Stanley: Nothing. Patrick: Nothing at all? Stanley: Yep. Patrick: Interesting. Let's see how good you are at nothing.",That's perfect! Patrick can do nothing better than anyone!  You'll be learning from the master!
"Patrick: Come with me. First, sit down on this chair. Clear your mind. Empty it off all thoughts... until you're doing... absolutely... nothing.",See? Isn't he amazing?
Stanley: Clear my mind. Do nothing.  I can't do it! Patrick: You're not worthy for instruction in the immobile arts. Leave my presence! Stanley: Can I try? Patrick: Goodbye! Not a word! Stanley: I can even do nothing right.,"Don't worry! We just have to keep on looking!  Oh, gentle hat, symbol of employment! Cornerstone of my eternal happiness! I don thee now, in preparation, for this workday.  Wooo! You have no idea how this feels."
Stanley: No!,"Hey, what's wrong, Stanley? You're not still upset about that whole never accomplished anything in your life thing, are you?"
Stanley: No.,"Good, then why don't you come with me to work. Maybe seeing me totally fulfilled with cheer you up."
Mr. Krabs: There's me little money maker!  Are you gonna make me lots of money today?,"Yes, sir!"
"Mr. Krabs: Ah, what I give if only there are two of what? One, two? There's two?! He looks like you. He smells like you. He tastes like you! Is he a hard worker, just like you?",Um... Uh...
"Mr. Krabs: Well, is he? Stanley:","Yes, sir."
Mr. Krabs:  You've got the job!,"Your job is to take people's money, and put it in here!"
Stanley: Ooh! Can I touch it? Mr. Krabs:  Money?  Burning?!  SpongeBob!? Who's responsible for this!?,"I... guess I am, Mr. Krabs."
"Mr. Krabs: You're on probation, boy!","Well, Stanley. Thanks to you, I'm on probation. If you wanna keep this job, you're gonna have to...  Woo! Customer at the port bow! Man your stations! Man your stations!  Ready for duty!"
"Stanley: My first customer. Hi, I'm Stanley! Ohhh! This is so exciting! Harold: Hmm...I'd like a... Stanley: Wait! Wait!  I don't want to ever forget this moment! That's gonna be a keeper. Now let's do one with funny hats!  Ooh! Let's pretend we're mad at each other! Harold: Stanley: I can't wait to get these developed.","I said I'm ready, Stanley.  Whoa!"
"Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob! What's the meaning of this? Your station looks horrible. Take some pride in your work, boy! Look at your cousin, Stanley, for example. Spiffing up his workplace with meaningful photos of the customers!",Um...sir?
"Mr. Krabs: Yes, boy?","About my cousin, Stanley?"
"Mr. Krabs: Yes, yes. The one I hired entirely on your recommendation. Hurry up, boy.",About what I said...
"Mr. Krabs: What? You didn't lie to me just so your cousin could get the job, did ya?",No.
"Mr. Krabs: Well, good. Because there are plenty of other relatives that got passed over for the job! Sandy's Cousin:  Aye, 'tis true! Squidward's Cousin: Whatever. Mr. Krabs: I even turned down my three adorable nephews. Nephews:  But, Uncle Krabs! Mr. Krabs: They solve mysteries.  Now go solve the mystery of why you didn't get the job! Nephews:","Stanley, I cannot keep covering for you!  No! Not my spatula! My spatula...  The thing I hold nearest and dearest to my heart..."
"Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, what in the name of Neptune is going...? Oh. You broke your spatula. That's a shame. I'll order another one tomorrow, boy.","No! No! No! I didn't break my spatula. He did! And I also didn't burn your money. He did that, too! I have been covering for him because he can't do anything right!"
Stanley: He's right! I ruin everything I touch! Mr. Krabs: Wait a minute...I know the perfect job for you!,"Good luck on your new job, cousin Stanley!"
"Stanley: Thanks! I bet I'll be even better in this one! Plankton: Good morning, Mr. SquarePants! Stanley: Morning, boss. Plankton: I can't believe it! That fool Krabs hiring the blood relative of his best worker!  Well, that's the end of me. Stanley: Sorry, boss. Patrick:  So why are we going to Sandy's house?",To see her vacation slides for the hu..  Ow!
"ZDS Agent:  We got the slides, sir. Patrick: Who?...What?...Why? Sandy:  Those two agents from the Zero Dryland Security just confiscated all my vacation slides, boys. Or so they think...  You see,  Someone already made six copies. Sandy: Yes, SpongeBob?",Who is this someone? Do we know him?
"Sandy: By someone, I was implying me, SpongeBob.  Yes, Patrick? Patrick: Can you not imply anymore? It's confusing. Sandy:  Okay, no more questions until the end of the slideshow. Okay?  Good.  The first slide is of me getting some last-minute readings before I took off on my vacation.  And this is me giving the thumbs-up-goodbye for now salute.  And this...  This is where a little square pal of mine decided to pay me a visit.",♪I'm ready to see Sandy. I'm ready to see Sandy. I'm ready to see Sandy  I'm ready to ring Sandy's doorbell♪  Sandy...!  Whoa!
Sandy: What do you think of my moon wagon?,"Oh, Sandy. I'm sorry I activated it! How was I to know it was hooked up to your doorbell?"
"Sandy: Oh no, SpongeBob. That's what you call a coincidence. I'm getting ready for my vacation!",Where are you going?
Sandy: The moon!,You're going on a moon trip?!
Sandy: Yep! I'm all packed up and ready to go. Wanna help me…,I'll be right back!
Sandy: ...load up the moon wagon?,"Morning, Mr. Bakerman! Oh, that's right, I'm sorry. I have to pick a number."
Bakerman: Number 12.,"Yes, I'm Number 12!"
Bakerman: What can I get for you today?,"I need a bon voyage sheet cake.  Could you put yummy words on it? Hmmmmm, what would those yummy words be? I got it! Have fun on the moon.... What rhymes with moon? Tune? Roon? Noon? Goon?"
Bakerman: How about loon?,I got it! See you soon!
"Countdown:  T-minus 12, 11, 10, 9, 8…","No, Sandy! Wait! You can't go without your sheet cake!  Whoa!"
Sandy:  SpongeBob? What in cold chicken and pickles are you doing in my ship?,"I went to get you a, so I went to the, and then I got you a, and then T-minus something, and..."
Countdown: Launch commencing. Sandy: Never mind. Can't stop the countdown now. Better strap yourself down. Looks like you're going on a mooncation!,"I am?! Whoooooo! Moon trip! Moon trip! Moon trip!  Hey, Sandy? Sandy? Sandy? Sandy? Sandy? Hey, Sandy..."
"Sandy: Uh, I'm kinda busy here, SpongeBob. Gotta recalculate to account for the extra weight.","Oh, I just wanted to show you the..."
"Sandy: for the afterburners!  What were you saying, SpongeBob?","Oh, I… brought you a bon voyage sheet cake."
Sandy: You can't bring regular food into space!,"Wha, wha, wha, why not?"
"Sandy: Because, as we leave Earth's gravity, everything becomes weightless, and any un-contained food will float off in all directions!",Oh. Is that a bad thing?
Sandy: Only if it gets sucked into the reverse spatial linearity drive.  Ah nuts!,"Oops. Sorry, Sandy."
"Sandy:  Well, it's a good thing I've brought my special space suit designed for just this kind of situation! Now, try not to file anything else up while I'm saving our necks.  Aha! There's our problem.  Eh, could've used more nuts.  Okay. I've got her up and running, again. Now, can you please sit with your hands folded for a while, SpongeBob?",Roger that! Folding hands.
"Sandy: Now, get ready for lunar module se...",What do you think Sandy?
Sandy: Just don't touch anything while we separate.,Ok.
"Sandy:  That looks like a good spot.  Alright, SpongeBob. Now that our camp is set up, it's time for some moon crater boarding!",What's moon crater boarding?
Sandy: You ride these on that like this.  Yeehaw! Right here is the Flip-a-dee-do-dah.  Right there is the classic Texas tail grab.  And this I call the 7-20 Nut Drop.  Munchie! And let's not forget my grandpappy's favorite: The Tour de Saturn.  Star gazer! Yeehaw! Nothing like extreme sports and zero gravity! Alright your turn.,Oh gee Sandy. I don't know. This looks kinda scary.
"Sandy: Oh, come on SpongeBob. You got this! It's a can of corn.","I don't know what corn is, but I sure like cans. Alright, I'll give it a try.  Sandy, this doesn't seem right."
"Sandy: Uh oh! Looks like SpongeBob's too light for lunar gravity. SpongeBob, grab a hold of this!",Ok.
"Sandy: Wow, SpongeBob! What do you call that trick?  Interesting. Maybe you can teach me how to do a Waaaaah!","Hey, this is kind of fun!"
"Frankie Billy:  Carol, your real father is… Patrick: Hey! Who's Carol's real father?!","Watch this Sandy!  Alright. A no-look... let's see... a one-footed, tongue-out, flip, leg up…  puncture into the side of the rocket."
"Sandy: You did great, SpongeBob! But, you should call your trick the no-look, one-footed, tongue-out, flip, leg up, puncture the fuel tank on the rocket.”",Oops!
"Sandy: Come on, SpongeBob. We gotta get while there's still enough fuel to make it home!","Wait! I have to do something very important!  There!  So, we are going to make it, aren’t we Sandy?"
"Sandy: If the fuel holds out, there's no reason to panic.  Without the engines, we've lost all control. We're coming in too steep!",Is that bad?
Sandy:  Only if you consider being consumed in a giant fireball “bad”.,"Well, in that case, I won't... giant fireball?!  Sandy, where are you going?"
Sandy: 'm going to take this bull by the horns!,Are we gonna get consumed in a giant fireball?
Sandy: Not if I can keep her nose up we aren't. Hang on! It's gonna get bumpy when we hit the atmosphere.  Yeehaw!,My goodness!
Sandy: Yeehaw! Yeehaw!,"Oh, oh my gosh! Sandy! Sandy, are you okay?  Oh, Sandy. I'm sorry I ruined your vacation."
"Sandy: Ruined? Oh heck no! That was the most fun I've had in a toad's age! Once I get my rocket fixed, you and me is heading to Mars. Now, let's go grab another one of them sheet cakes. Both of them: Nat: Boy, good thing I remembered my umbrella. Mable: Me too. Abigail Marge: Come on kids. Dave:  Ahh, too bad I forgot my umbrella. Mr. Krabs: Ahhh, the end of another successful business day. You know Squidward this kind of day always reminds me of money  Ahhahhahah.... Squidward: Ohh yeah, that's nice. I'll be here working while you.....AHHHHHHHH!  Uhhhh. Uhhh...Ummmm...I'm sorry mam,  but were closed. . I know you're hungry but- . Uhhh...but we really are closed. Thank-you, come-again. Squidward: Hey!! Closed means closed, Grandma!  Oh boy, Some people... Madame Hagfish:  One Krabby Patty please. Squidward: I told you...we're closed! I was supposed to get out of here ten minutes ago! And besides, I already cashed the register out. Madame Hagfish: Ohh, but I- Squidward: No. Madame Hagfish: I- Squidward: No. Madame Hagfish: I- Squidward: No way. Madame Hagfish: Please I- Squidward: Never... Madame Hagfish: I brought exact change... Squidward:  Ah-ha, that is what they cost...20 years ago. Krabby Patties cost $4.50, lady. Madame Hagfish: Oh dear. Seems I'm just one short. Mr. Krabs:  No way granny! Madame Hagfish: Oh, But it's all I have. Please... Squidward: Nope. Madame Hagfish: Ohhh pleasssseeee.",How sad.
"Madame Hagfish:  You haven't seen the last of me!!!! Mr. Krabs: Well, I've certainly seen enough . Squidward: What a creepy old hagfish, I thought she'd never leave. Mr. Krabs: Aye, good job there, SpongeBob. Say, what did you tell here that finally drove her out? I may need to know in case she ever comes back .",Need to know in case she ever- . Have a good night Mr. Krabs.
"Mr. Krabs: Oh, you too SpongeBob. Have a good-  Night...",Old lady? Old lady?
Madame Hagfish: Here I am.  Right were you told me to meet you.,"Actually I told you to meet me two paces to the left. Oh good, you're here!  I brought the stuff."
"Madame Hagfish: My goodness! This has to be the most kind, most generous, most thoughtful thing anyone has ever done for-","You're welcome, just take them before someone sees us."
Mr. Krabs: Too late!,Mr. Krabs!
"Mr. Krabs: So, it's true!",H-How did you find out?
"Mr. Krabs: Found out? Boy, you would have to get up pretty early to sneak a pair of buns past old, Mr. Krabs. Squidward: Or before he takes off his sleep mask. Mr. Krabs: How did you know I wear a sleep mask?","Ohh please, Mr. Krabs don't fire me. Pleaaaseee!"
"Madame Hagfish:  Eye of newt and frozen sharkskin slab, I hearby curse the Krusty Krab! Mr. Krabs:  We are not a soup kitchen, boy! And these will be coming out of your paycheck. Besides, we don't want to encourage-  charity...",But what about the- the- the- the- the- the-
"Mr. Krabs: Come on, boy! Spit it out!",The- the- the- the- the-
"Mr. Krabs: Okay, let's see what's under the hood.  I think that should do it.",What about the curse?
"Mr. Krabs: Curse? Boy, let me explain something about curses with a short story me grampappy used to tell me: Oh yes, CURSES ARE NONSENSE!!","They are, Mr. Krabs?"
"Mr. Krabs: Yep. Just fabricated superstition. Right Squidward? Squidward: You're asking the wrong guy about curses, I live next to SpongeBob Mr. Krabs:  See, boy, just a bonical ramblings of an old lady. Nothing to worry about. Mr. Krabs: Squidward, I'm starting to get worried. I've got a funny feeling that the Krusty Krab really is cursed. Squidward: And why is that? Mr. Krabs: Well, we haven't seen a single customer all morning! Squidward: That's not a curse.  That's a blessing. Mr. Krabs:  Yeah, you're right, there is no such thing as curses. Ha. Mr. Krabs: ME MONEYYY!!!! AAAHHHHHH!!!!","I got it! I got it!  Ohh, Ohh Hot, hot!  I don't got it..."
"Squidward: I just remember there is a no-curse clause in my contract, nice working with you. Mr. Krabs: Squidward, wait. You don't even have a contract. Squidward: There is a no-contract clause in it too.","Mr. Krabs, what makes you so sure that even if we find that old lady, that she will lift the curse?"
"Mr. Krabs:  Don't worry, SpongeBob. Mr. Krabs has a special technique when dealing with situations like these. It's called beggin' and pleadin' Narrator: Many Hours Later... Mr. Krabs: Well, SpongeBob. I don't think were ever gonna find-","Mr. Krabs, look!"
"Mr. Krabs: Well I'll be the slimy, son of a slithery, slippery sea slug, boy. It's here! Madame Hagfish: Give me one good reason why I should lift the curse. Mr. Krabs: Because if ya' don't, me business will be ruined forever. Madame Hagfish: I said: give me a good reason. Mr. Krabs:  Oh please, Madame Hagfish. Please, I'll do anything, anything at all. Madame Hagfish: Oh, I like a man who begs. Mr. Krabs:  See, told ya' Madame Hagfish: I will lift the curse, provided you two complete a dangerous task. Mr. Krabs: Oh, wait a minute, granny, what part of this-","Oh anything, Great Hagfish."
Madame Hagfish: Bring me the sacred gold doubloon from the throat of the Giant Golden Eel! SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs: Okay...,"Well, this must be it. The lair of the Golden Eel."
Mr. Krabs: How could you tell?,She gave me its business card.
"Mr. Krabs: Hey, SpongeBob so you think this fudgy stuff we're walking in is the eel's-",...Leftover pudding. Yes I thought that too.
"Mr. Krabs: Hold it, SpongeBob, Look.","It's the eel. Well, nappy time always comes after pudding. Let's go get the doubloon from his throat before he wakes up."
"Mr. Krabs: Good idea, be careful not to-",WOAAHHH!
Mr. Krabs: He's awake!,"Look out for his- Tail! Quick find something to- ...Hide behind...  WOAAAH!!!! Morning, already.  I'm coming Mr. Krabs  Don't go anywhere!"
Mr. Krabs: I really don't have a choice,"Take, this!"
Mr. Krabs: Good job ladee!,We're not finished yet!  I got it! I got it! I got it! I got it!  I don't got it.
"Mr. Krabs: Madame Hagfish, we've got the gold doubloon you asked for. Madame Hagfish: Finally.  Clean free. Mr. Krabs: Ahh, now it's time to lift that curse, like you promised. Madame Hagfish:  There ya' go, the curse is lifted.",A closed sign?
"Mr. Krabs: That's it? That's the curse?! Madame Hagfish: You think I'm gonna waste good spells on a bottom-feeder like you? Have a nice day. Mr. Krabs:  Well, it's like I told you before boy, there ain't no such thing as witches, or curses, or magical beings, or- Squidward: Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one.  I'm done with my shift, Mr. Krabs! And let me just say, there will come a day when I will make something of my life and I will never have to set foot in this grease trap again! Mr. Krabs: Yeah, we'll see you after your lunch break, Squidward. Squidward: Okay. Squilliam:  So, I just took my private yacht across my private lake to my private heliport. It's the only way off my private island. Squidward:  Oh, shrimp! It's my arch rival from high school, Squilliam Fancyson! I can't let him see me in my Krusty Krab uniform. Squilliam: On your lunch break, eh, Squiddy? Squidward: Yes... I mean no... I mean... uhh, uhh... Hey, whatcha been up to? Squilliam: Oh, just succeeding in everything you've failed in. Squidward: You are no great shakes, Squilliam Fancyson. Anyone can be a big shot in a hick town like Bikini Bottom. Squilliam: Oh, is that so? Let's hear what you've accomplished since high school, Squiddy. Squidward:  Don't be intimidated, Squidward. Try to imagine him in his underwear...  Oh, no, he's hot!  I'm, uhh, in... food service. Squilliam: Hold it, don't tell me. You're a cashier! Squidward:  Don't lie. Lying always makes it worse.  I own a five-star restaurant! Squilliam:  Squidward, I had no idea you were such a success. Squidward: That's right. Squilliam: And I would be honored if you would allow me to come to your restaurant tonight. Squidward: T-t-t-t-t-t-tonight? Squilliam: In fact, we'll all come. My treat! Squidward: Please, Mr. Krabs, you got to help me! When they get here tonight, they're going to see I'm just a big phony and a loser! Mr. Krabs: Aww, BOO-HOO, let me play a sad song for ya on the world's smallest violin. Squidward: This is serious. Mr. Krabs: I know, this really is the world's smallest violin.  See? Squidward: Mr. Krabs! Please let me run the restaurant for just one night! I really need to impress Squilliam. Mr. Krabs:  Scrih- Scray- Screh- Squilliam?  That guy who made millions doing what you wish you could do? Squidward: Don't rub it in. Mr. Krabs: Why didn't you tell me? We'll take him to the cleaners. Squidward: Alright, listen up. Men, Squilliam Fancyson will be here in twenty minutes. Therefore, we need to turn the Krusty Krab into a fancy restaurant as soon as possible.  Patrick, what are you doing here? Patrick: I thought the Corps would help me straighten out my life, sir! Squidward: The Corps? What the... Pat, this isn't the... oh!  Beggars can't be choosers. Can you take hats in a dignified and sophisticated manner? Patrick: You mean like a weenie? Okay!  May I take your hat, thir? May I take your haaaat, sir? May I- Squidward:  Alright, I've heard enough, you've got the job.  Mr. Krabs, didn't you once serve on the S.S. Gourmet? Mr. Krabs: Aye-aye! Squidward: Then you'll be our chef.",What can I do?
"Squidward: I can't believe I'm saying this, but, SpongeBob, you're going to have to be the waiter.",What's that?
Squidward: It's the guy who goes to tables and takes orders.,Do other restaurants do that?
"Squidward: Yes, they do that! Now listen, Squilliam is on his way and you have less than twenty minutes to become a fancy waiter, so read this.","How To Become a Fancy Waiter in Less Than 20 Minutes. Don't worry, Squidward, I'll memorize every page, right down to the punctuation marks!"
"Squidward: Alright, I've got all the positions filled. I just might pull this off! Patrick: GIVE ME MY HAT!  I SAID GIVE IT TO ME! Are you gonna hand it over or not? DON'T YOU BACK-SASS ME! Squidward: He's just the hat-check guy, nothing essential.  What happened!? What is it?!? Mr. Krabs: Peas!  Made 'em the old-fashioned way. Squidward: Mr. Krabs, you gotta take them out of the...  HOLY FISH PASTE! WHAT IS THAT!? Mr. Krabs: That's the appetizer! Squidward: But I thought you said you were the head chef on the S.S. Gourmet? Mr. Krabs: Did I say that? No, I cleaned the bathrooms on the Gourmet. I was the head chef on the S.S. Diarrhea. Squidward: There you are! SpongeBob, you gotta help me!  Patrick and Mr. Krabs aren't working out, and Squilliam's almost here, and, and... SpongeBob?","I can't do it. I can't do it, Squidward!"
Squidward: What?,"Every sentence, every paragraph...  Spoons! Bread! Salad! Pepper! Don't you understand?!  My brain is full to bursting! If I have to memorize a single order, I think I'm gonna explode!"
"Squidward: SpongeBob, hold on! Let's just take a second here to relax.  Little more.  Little more.  Good. Now, I want you to empty your mind.",Empty my mind?
Squidward: Empty your mind.,Empty my mind...
"Squidward: Empty your mind of everything that doesn't have to do with fine dining. Fine dining and breathing. Smaller SpongeBob #1:  Just got an order from the boss: Dump everything that isn't about fine dining! Other Smaller SpongeBobs: Everything? SpongeBob #1: Everything!  Come on, come on, come on! Bring 'em, bring 'em, bring 'em! Jellies, jellies!  Let's go, let's go! Keep doing it!  Come on, let's get moving!  Hurry up! What do you think I'm paying you for? Smaller SpongeBob #2: You don't pay me. We don't even exist. We're just a clever visual metaphor used to personify the abstract concept of thought. Smaller SpongeBob #1: One more crack like that and you're out of here! Smaller SpongeBob #2: No, please! I have three kids! Squidward: How do you feel?  SpongeBob?  This isn't working!  I gotta go tell Squilliam I need more time!  I'll just go to Squilliam's house and...  Squilliam, you're here! Squilliam: Hello, Squiddy!  We're all ready to be dazzled by your five-star restaurant. Squidward: Wait, Squilliam, I've got to explain! Squilliam: Explain what? That you, Squidward Tentacles, voted most likely to suck eggs in high school,  are trying to pass off a lousy burger stand as a five-star...  ...restaurant!?  Hommina, hommina, hommina, hommina, hommina...",Table for Hommina? I can seat you immediately!
Squidward:  How did you do all this?,"It was easy, once I cleared my mind."
Squidward: But what about Krabs and Patrick?,"Taken care of.  Right this way, please.  Good evening, sir.  From our menu tonight, might I recommend the Krabby Newburg?  We take the finest cuts of aged, imported kelp, stuff them with herbs from our garden, wrap them in parchment with our award-winning shallot tapenade, slow-roast them for six hours in our wood-fired, clay-filled oven, or kiva, and serve them with a garnish of wilted coral on a mahogany plank."
Squilliam: Mmm... this is fantastic!,"Thank you, sir."
"Squidward: Pinch me, I must be dreaming.  Ow!","If you need anything else, just call."
"Squidward: SpongeBob, I can't thank you enough for all you're doing!",Fine dining and breathing are all I know how to do.
"Squidward: It worked. I can't believe it! Squilliam thinks I own a five-star restaurant. Time to rub it in his face.  Well, Squilliam, I'm waiting. Squilliam:  Alright, I admit it. Everything is fabulous. The food, the atmosphere! Everything's flawless! Squidward: In that case, I need you to read this. Squilliam: Uhh, Squidward Tentacles... Squidward:  And I need you to wear this. Squilliam: Oh, eh, Squidward Tentacles has the fanciest... Squidward:  I'm sorry, one more time. Squilliam: Squidward Tentacles has the fanciest restaurant in Bikini Bottom... and he does not suck eggs.  Squidward, I must tell you...  Thank you. What really won me over was your brilliant waiter. It's as if all he knows is fine dining... and breathing. I must know your name.",My name?
"Squilliam: Yes, your name, son.",Uhh... Beef Wellington?
"Squilliam:  No, your name.",Uhh... err... the fork on the left?
Squidward: Heh. Stop joking. Tell him your name.,My name?
"Smaller SpongeBob #3:  What's his name?! What's his name?! I've got nothing on a name! Smaller SpongeBob #4:  Come on, baby, what's the name?!? Smaller SpongeBob #5: We threw out his name! Squidward: I am so very sorry! I don't know what has gotten into that...",More soup for your armpit?
Fred:,"PLEASE ENJOY THE FOOD.  Would you like some cheese on that, sir?"
"Squidward: No! Nooo! Mr. Krabs: RUN FOR YOUR LIVES, EVERYONE! IT'S THE APPETIZER!!! Squilliam: Well, Squiddy, I'm waiting. Squidward:  Okay, I admit it, I'm a fraud! This was all a futile, pathetic attempt to impress you. This isn't really my restaurant. I'm just a cashier! Squilliam: Squidward, I understand. I have a confession to make myself. I made everything up about my life. I have no yachts, jets, or anything. I was only trying to impress you. The horrible, sad truth is, I'm a cashier, too! Squidward: Is that true? Squilliam: Of course not! I'm filthy stinking rich! Come on, everyone. Let's all take a ride in my balloon/casino!","Ugh, I got such a headache. What's going on with you?"
"Squidward: Oh, the usual.  WOULD YOU GET OUT OF HERE!? Mr. Krabs:  Ahh, that's the stuff.  Hey, something don't smell right. SpongeBob! Hey, what are you burning out here, boy?",Hmm... I'd say a hydrated explosive.
"Mr. Krabs: Explosive!? Plankton: Ha ha ha ha! Enjoy, Eugene! Mr. Krabs: Plankton! I just had that roof redone last week! Plankton: You will be re-re-doing it when I'm through with you! Mr. Krabs: Ready ammunition!  Fire!  Take cover!  Oh, ha, ha, it didn't go off! Another dud, Plankton. Plankton: A dud, huh? Mr Krabs: Oh, you're playing with fire now, Plankton! Plankton: No need to get worked up with this Krabs, just give me the secret formula and I’ll be on my way. Mr. Krabs: Well you ain't getting it. Plankton: I implore you to reconsider. Mr. Krabs: Oh, go jump off a plank. Plankton: I have ways of getting the information I need. Where’s the formula, Krabs? Mr. Krabs: Ha ha ha ha! Plankton: Still not going to talk 'ay' Krabs?  OK Krabs, I see you're still not going to crack but I don't think your underling is of the same metal.",I'll never talk.
Plankton: We’ll see what Mr. Feather has to say about that.,"OK, OK! but I don't how to get into the safe behind the painting in Mr. Krabs' office that houses the secret formula! He won't let me near it!"
"Plankton: Clever, behind the painting ay Krabs? Mr. Krabs: Errrrrrrr... Plankton:  Say what am I smelling? You got something burning?",Smells like blubber to me.
"Plankton: Bl bl blubber? Pearl: Daddy! Plankton: Ahhhhh! Call off your daughter Krabs! Call her off! Mr. Krabs: She's a big girl Plankton, I have no control over what she does. Oh, And you better watch out. I think she's extra hungry today. Plankton: Stay back whale! I'm pippy to what you do to organisms like me. I've seen those documentaries! Pearl: Did he just go into the freezer? Plankton:  Don't say it! Pearl: I prefer salad over Plankton anyway. Mr. Krabs: Who knew Plankton was so afraid of whales?  Pearl me darling daughter, you saved my business and my formular, now get us out of this trap. Pearl: Mall money. Mr. Krabs: Alright, alright. You're gettin' more like your old man every day. . Pearl, why don't you swing to the Chum Bucket on your way to the mall? Give Plankton a little scare? Pearl: Double my mall money! Mr. Krabs:  Alright, SpongeBob. It's your turn!","Here you go, Pearl. Buy something pretty."
"Pearl: Hey, this isn't money!","No, it's even better! This is what Mr. Krabs pays me with.  Mr. Krabs' Wacky Bucks!"
"Mr. Krabs:  Oh, it's all catching up to me...  Please, Pearl? I'll do your homework for ya. Pearl: No way! The Chum Bucket is, like, totally gross! Mr. Krabs: Hmmm... in that case, Pearl, I'm gonna need to borrow one of your dressers. SpongeBob & Pearl: Hummina-hunh?/Huh?! Plankton: Karen: My triumphant husband returns. How'd you fail this time? Plankton: Krabs had a whale! Karen: You mean his big, bad, scary teenage daughter? Plankton: I hear that mocking tone in your voice Karen, and I don't appreciate it! Don't you remember what happened to my ancestors at the hands of those beasts? Karen: OK, when you take a break from your delusional paranoia, the trash needs some attention. It's ripened. Pearl/Krabs:  I'm hungry! Plankton:  That should keep her out! Pearl/Krabs:  I want plankton meat! Plankton: Holy protozoa!  Karen, she's here! She got in! Karen: What are you talking about? Plankton: There's a whale in the laboratory! Karen: Are you out of your mind? Plankton: See for yourself! Karen:  No whale in here. Plankton: I swear! A whale was just in here. She was next to the transmutator. She was right here in this spot! Her mouth all frothy, her blowhole blowing! Karen: Oh, that's enough, Plankton! If you'll excuse me, I have to get back to more permanent primary functions. Plankton: Karen! Karen--! Karen: I'm not listening! Narrator: 16 paranoia filled days later... Karen:  Plankton, your dinner is ready. Plankton? Plankton, do you hear me? Plankton: Yes, I can hear you. Can you bring it up? I can't risk stepping into the light. The whale might see me. Pearl/Krabs: Plankton:  Hey! Get me out of here! Grand-Dad: Hey, Plankton! Glad you could join the rest of the family! Plankton: Grand-Dad? Grand-Dad: Yep, and you're pretty brave standing in that there gastric acid. Plankton: Gastric acid? ] Pearl: Plankton:  I can't take it! Oh, this is driving me crazy! Pearl/Krabs: Plankton:  What's the point of going on? I'll just be tortured for the rest of my life by that whale!  That's it. I'm done. The 4:15 bus should be along any time now.","Hi, Plankton. Whatchya doin' laying on the middle of the road?"
"Plankton: Go away, CheeseHead! Can't you see I'm trying to get run over? In fact, better yet just step on me as hard as you can, will ya?","I'm sorry, Plankton, but that flies in the face of my good nature."
"Plankton: Forget it, kid. I'll just wait for the next bus. Go on back to the Krusty Krab and enjoy yourself.",Okay!
"Mr. Krabs:  Goodbye, pipsqueak!","Sorry to interrupt your gloating sir, I just thought it would be pertinent for you to know that Plankton is laying on the street, forlorn."
Mr. Krabs: Really? He's a mess!,"Mr. Krabs, I know you and Plankton are sworn enemies and all, but putting on a dress to frighten him? Isn't that taking it a little too far?"
"Mr. Krabs: May I remind you of the fact that you've disclosed the location of me safe, where I keep the secret formula?","No need to remind me, sir. I've broken Rule #2 of the Krusty Krab Rule Book: Never disclose the location of the secret formula! Don't worry, Mr. Krabs. I'll fix this."
"Plankton:  Man, what does it take to get run over around here?!","Hi, Plankton."
Plankton: What do you got? Mud in your ears? Take a hike!,"Ah, yes, I remember. But, I just wanted to tell that the secret formula is not, I repeat not, in the safe behind the painting in the Krusty Krab."
Plankton: Why should I care? All meaning has left my life ever since I've been plagued by that blasted whale.,"It's okay. Everybody has a secret fear! For instance, Mr. Krabs' secret fear is..."
Plankton: Really?,"Mmm-hmm, and guess what else? It was Mr. Krabs in a whale suit that you've been scared of."
Plankton: You mean this entire time it's been Krabs masquerading as a whale!?  Why that conniving bottom feeder!,"But, certainly you wouldn't have use for such innocuous information, would you?"
"Plankton: No, of course not.","Oh, all-righty, back to your self-destructive behavior, Plankton. Thank you for this talk!"
"Plankton: No, thank you! Mr. Krabs: This is almost too fun!  Plankton ain't even a challenge no more! Plankton: Oh, is that so? Mr. Krabs: Oh, Plankton. Back for more, aren'y ya? Okay, here it goes.  Boo! Plankton: You don't scare me, Krabs. Mr. Krabs: I ain't Krabs, I'm... uh, I mean...  I'm Pearl, not Krabs. Plankton: The jig is up, Krabs. I know all about the suit, AND your secret fear! Mr. Krabs: Secret fear?  What are you talkin' about? Plankton: See for yourself.  Enjoy the show! Mr. Krabs: No. No. Muh-muh-make it stop! Please! Plankton: Doesn't feel so good on the other end of the stick, does it scaredy pants? (laughs) I am loving this.","Hey, Plankton, if I were you I wouldn't be so smug."
Plankton: Why not?,Because a hungry pod of whales just showed up for its early feeding.
"Plankton:  Ahhhh! Not another feeding! Get me out of here! Mr. Krabs: Whew! Well, you redeemed yourself, boy.   Okay, you really are creeping me out now.",The Krusty Krab is stowed and ready to slumber.
"Mr. Krabs: Good job, laddy, another fruitful day pushing patties.",Push-a-what?
"Mr. Krabs: You know, turning patties into lettuce.","Uh, I'm not following you."
"Mr. Krabs: Cabbage, green backs, money!","Oh, you mean your obsession."
"Mr. Krabs: Obsession is kind of a strong word.  Sleep tight, me little angels. Plankton: 35 left, 25 right, and finally, 4 left. Open, says me!  Hey, what gives? I was looking right at the combination, why isn't it opening? Mr. Krabs:  What's going on in here? Hmm, Everything seems to be in order. The safe is still safe. Huh, I must be hearing things. Hey, how'd that pickle end up on the floor?  Now, what was that rule about dropped food? Was it 5 seconds or 5 minutes or... ah, well. Waste not, whnt not. Narrator: Approximately 10 hours later... Karen: Plankton, where have you been?! Plankton: Trust me, you do not want to know. Karen: Did you get the Krabby Patty formula? Like I have to ask. Plankton: No, and I probably never will. Karen: You need a more positive outlook! Plankton: Oh, Karen, if only you could just see things way I do. Karen:  Plankton! Plankton: What? Karen: I think you hit it! You couldn't see the correct combination because you have only one eye. You lack depth perception. Plankton: Maybe you're right. That would explain why I stink at darts. Karen: What you need is a second eye. Plankton: Karen, my dear, I think you're on to something. Looks like it's time for an upgrade! Plankton:  Success!  Uh oh, that ain't good.  No, no, no, no no no nо nо nо no! I can see every- Plankton: Binocular vision, here I come!   What? Oh mamma! Stop, I command you!  Oh, come on, please stop!  Next. Plankton: Karen, what am I doing wrong? Karen: Your experiments are missing essential one ingredient. Plankton: It's not love, is it? ‘Cause you know I hate that stuff. Karen: No, it's cells from another eye. Even a single teardrop would contain enough DNA. Plankton: Tears, huh? I guess if I have to.  Ow! Will these do? Karen: No, silly. They have to be from somebody who already has two eyes. Plankton: Two eyes, huh? I think I know a crybaby who fits that description!","Hi, Plankton!"
"Plankton:  Hey, SpongeBob, want to hear a sad story?","No, not particularly."
"Plankton: Once upon a time, there was a yellow doofus who loved to drink milk with his lunch. But unfortunately for said doofus, his milk was tragically spilt. The end.",S-s-s-sad story! And so timely!
Plankton: Get a grip!,"Well, I guess Plankton's right. Good thing I always bring backup milk!"
"Karen: Are you sure you want to go through with this? Plankton: Yes, let's hurry up and get it over with!  Mommy! Here comes the pain!  That wasn't so bad. Uh-oh, here we go.  Eureka! Karen: So, does it work? Plankton: You tell me.  Bullseye! Now for my next target – the Krabby Patty secret formula!  Hahahaha!  Wha-?  Why does everything look so weir- ... look so beautiful?!",La la la la!
"Plankton: Hi, SpongeBob, great to see you, buddy!","Hi, Plankton, whatcha doing?"
"Plankton: I thought I was going to steal something. Can't imagine why. So, I'm just enjoying this lovely day!","Okay, buh-bye!"
"Plankton: Honey, I'm home! Karen: Oh, you're a happy camper. Did you finally steal the formula? Plankton: Formula, what formula?  I forgot the formula! I can't imagine what got into me. Karen: It's that new eye of yours. Your evil DNA has become corrupted by SpongeBob's nice DNA. You've gone from evil.. To neevil! You're becoming as harmless as that fry cook. Plankton: Nonsense, You're imagining things. Karen: Oh, really? Let's test it, shall we? Tell me what you see in these ink blots. Plankton: Hmm. Looks like a pretty butterfly! Karen: Nope. Try again. What does this remind you of? Plankton: Aww, it's a little puppy doggy! Karen: Try this! Plankton: Uhh... Karen: I'll give you a hint. Plankton: A bouquet of flowers! Would you like some flowers, honey? Karen: Cells from that sponge have changed your whole point of view. Plankton: Ah, a few blobs of ink doesn't prove a thing. I'm as evil as ever, I'll prove it right now by stealing the Krabby Patty secret formula. Plankton: Such lovely destruction! Bubble Bass: Help! Save me!  Save me! Plankton: I'll help you! Do not worry, citizen, I'll catch you! Bubble Bass: Comin' down. Plankton: Oh no. Bubble Bass: Thanks, buddy! Plankton: Unbelievable! I've committed another selfless act. This eye is taking over! But I must stay strong and concentrate on swiping the Krabby Patty formula.  What's this? It's the Krabby Patty formula! Uh-wha.. Krabs must have lost it! Mr. Krabs:  And that's why your promotion means a 50% cut in salary, understand, SpongeBob?","Yes, sir, Mr. Krabs!"
"Plankton: Hey, Eugene! You missing anything? Mr. Krabs: Me Krabby Patty Formula! Plankton: That's right, Krabs. Unbelievably, I found it lying on the ground!  So I'm giving it back to you, take it. Mr. Krabs: Hey! Something smells and it isn't my long johns.  Let's see here, you had the formula, why didn't you run off with it? Plankton: Why didn't I run off with it? Why didn't I run off with it? Because that would be stealing! Mr. Krabs: Since when do you care about stealing? Plankton: Oh, it's this cursed new eye! I've got to get rid of it! Must become monocular again.  Hahaha, I did it! Mr. Krabs: You know, I don't think I trust this nice, polite, pleasant Plankton.","Mr. Krabs, I think Plankton has really changed. He just needs some encouragement, and I know just how to do it!"
"Mr. Krabs: Uh-huh. Plankton: My life of evil is over.  Hey, why is it so dark in here? Everybody: Surprise! Plankton: The Chum Bucket's been invaded. I'll never surrender, never!","This isn't an invasion, we're here to show you how much we appreciate all the good deeds you've done lately. We came to give a great big hug!"
"Plankton: What, no! Not hugs!  It's gone. That disgustingly good eye is finally gone! I'm cured! Thank you, thank you all! Especially you, SpongeBob.","Hey, glad I could help."
"Plankton: Yes, thanks to you I'm evil again, and as a token of my appreciation, I'll give you all a rousing send-off with my infra-red security attack lasers!  Oh, well. Depth perception's overrated anyway.","Okay, Patrick, one more book, then you go to sleep, 'kay?"
Patrick: 'Kay.,This one is called You Can Be Anything.
Patrick:  I can be anything?,"Oh, sure you can, pal.  You can be a firefighter...  You can be a doctor...  You can be a cowboy."
Patrick: That's what I want to be!,Cowboy. Great choice.
"Patrick: No, no, no, no, no!  That.","A horse?  Buddy, I don't think you want to be a horse."
"Patrick: You said I can be anything, and—and I want to be a horse!","Sure, sure, you can be a horse.  Nighty-night, Patrick."
Patrick: A horse.  A horse.,"Not now, Gary. Give me a few more minutes.  What? Uh, Gary?"
Gary: Meow.,"Huh? Oh, horsey!  Patrick, you were right! You can be a horse. Easy there, big fella.  Easy... Ah!  That's a good horsey. Hmm, horsey. That's not right. You need a name! I think I'll call you... Patrick! Whoa!  Ride 'em, cowboy! Uh, bucking bronco."
Norton: Rodeo clown.,"Safety first.  Giddy up, Patrick!  Looking good, Ms. Sandy."
Sandy: Thank you. And the horse you rode in on?,"Morning, old timer."
"Kid #1: Can we pet him, mister?","Sure, but be gentle."
"Kid #2: He's so soft. Squidward: What's all the hubbub out here?  What the?  So Patrick's a horse now? Ha-ha! Your phony baloney pony's more like an old gray mare.  Sorry to say, but, uh, this one's ready for the glue factory. Mr. Krabs: What kind of hub— What are you doing violating me personal space? Kids:  Aw... He's really fuzzy. Mr. Krabs: Oh! Horsey rides! Kids love horseys. Great idea having Patrick play pony. I'll charge these kids ten bucks a ride and cash in big time!","Oh, I don't know, Mr. Krabs, I think Patrick will only let me ride him."
"Mr. Krabs:  Oh, nonsense. Pony rides! Ten buckaroos!","Giddy up, Patrick.  Giddy up."
"Squidward: Now, I don't mean to nag, so don't bridle me when I say this, but your dream horse is more like a nightmare!  Get it? Night? Mare? Ha-ha! Squidward: Oh, yeah, now you're feeling your oats.  Ha-ha! I'm so good. Mr. Krabs:  Four at a time quadruplicates me money. Let's try for five. Mr. Krabs: Uh-oh.  Ooh.  Oh!  Ooh. Kid #3:  My wittle weg! Kids: Yay! Mr. Krabs: All right, next up. Kid #3: My other wittle weg!","Horsey Patrick, come back!"
"Mr. Krabs: That's me money running away! Come back! Squidward: Oh, yes. Oh, yes, come back. I said, Whoa, horsey Patrick.  Look at me. I'm a horse.  Clopity, clopity, clopity. Mr. Krabs:  Clopity, clopity, clopity.","Patrick. Patrick...  Patrick.  Patrick! Patrick?  Hey, it's okay, boy. It's me.  Your old pal, SpongeBob.  Remember?  Okay... Would you like me to whisper?  Nice Patrick. Pretty Patrick. Good Patrick.  Calm down, buddy. I don't want to lose you again.  Whoa! Ow! Ow! Aw. And all this time, I thought I was the one breaking you, but you were the one breaking me.  Patrick horsey, giddy up! What?"
"Squidward: Oh, this is humiliating. Mr. Krabs: Quiet.  Horseys don't talk. Okay, kids, ten bucks a ride! Who's next? Kid #4: Me!  Get moving, horse! Squidward: Ow! Cut it out! Mr. Krabs:  Ride's over.  Who's next?","Wow, Mr. Krabs. How'd you get Squidward to give rides?"
"Mr. Krabs: Hmm...  Says right here in his contract.  I can work him like a horse. Squidward: Huh? Mr. Krabs: Hey, get your mule away from my show pony! This here's a Thoroughbred. Squidward: Huh? Mr. Krabs: Look at that flank.  Get a load of those locks. Not to mention that loin, eh? Squidward: Oh, yeah. I'm a real stud. Mr. Krabs: Now look at your old pile of dog food.",I'd put my pile of dog food up against your stud any day!
"Mr. Krabs: Oh, yeah? How 'bout a race, then?  First one to delivery a Krabby Patty to Black Devil Bay wins.",You're on!
"Sandy: I want a clean race. No cheating! Wait for the bell.  Ah! Mr. Krabs: Ha, ha! Eat my dust!","Well, okay.  Mmm.  Mmm. Hey, your dust was delicious!"
"Mr. Krabs: This shortcut sign should send SpongeBob and Patrick far from the finish line.  Hi-ho, Squidward!","Whoa! Whoa, shortcut. This could be a trick. I love tricks! Whoa, whoa!  Hyah! Oh, boy, we're ahead!"
"Mr. Krabs: No, you're actually behind!","Oh...  Huh? Whoa, Patrick. Whoa."
"Mr. Krabs:  Oh!  Have some slippery mustard, slowpokes!  That was extra spicy slippery mustard!  Oh, ratfish!  I've got one more trick up me sleeve.  This is the police! I'm pulling you over for speeding! Officer John Slugfish: No, this is the police! I'm pulling you over for impersonating an officer!","Here's your delivery, sir. What?"
Patrick:  I was hungry. Mr. Krabs: We win! We win!  I—I had the best horsey! I had the best horsey! Patrick:  I don't want to be a horse anymore.,"Okay, buddy, but remember, you can still be anything."
"Patrick:  In that case, I think I'll be...  a crab! Ark, ark, ark, ark, ark, ark! Mr. Krabs: Huh?  Oh, no, you don't! Come back here with me claws!","How 'bout a ride back to the old Krusty Krab, cowboy?"
"Narrator:  Feel droplets gently cascade over your body. Squidward:  Oh yeah... Narrator: Visualize yourself in a private grotto.  Focus your perceptions on the native fauna, and the soothing nature of their rustic calls. Squidward: Huh? Narrator: You are one with nature. Squidward: Ahh...  What the—!?  Barnacles! Patrick: How do you like that, baby?","Oh, yeah. Well, what do ya think about this, baby?"
Squidward: Question. Are you two acting even more infantile than usual this morning?,"Uh-huh. ‘Cause I found a box of my old baby toys in the attic, and we're playing with them.  Hey! My old teddy walrus! This stuff really takes  me back."
"Patrick:  Yeah. it makes me feel baby-ish. Oh, Look at me I'm a baby.","Babies don't talk like that, Patrick. They talk like..."
"Squidward: Just as the essential oils were kicking in.  Hey! I'd appreciate some quiet!  How dare you scoot away from me, I'm scolding here!  Would you two for once, act your age?!  Fine! Act like infants your whole life! See if I care. I'm returning to my grown up lifestyle. So keep it down! SpongeBob and Patrick: Squidward! Patrick: Hey, he's mumblin' and droolin' like a little baby.","Well, I don't know, Patrick. He isn't looking so good. He should probably see a doctor. Come on, let's take him to the hospital."
"Patrick: Hang in there, buddy. We'll have you fixed up in no time. Purple Doctorfish: Hmmm?","So what's the prognosis, doctor?"
"Purple Doctorfish: Your friend has a condition known by the medical term of Head-go-boom-boom-itis. Not to worry, though, he should recover over normally over time, but he mustn't receive any more blows to the head or he may remain this way permanently. Just care for him as if he were your very own bouncy baby boy and he'll be fine. Patrick: Hey, little Squidward. Ready to have some fun? Woop-ee-doo!","Okay, Squiddy! Din din is ready. Where is our little miracle?  Patrick, how could you!  There, there! My little darling. We're supposed to protect his head, remember?  Okay, Squiddy! I made your favorite. Krill tartare with an algae vinaigrette.  Here it comes, open wide!  Come on, little buddy, you got eat healthy so you can grow up to be big and cranky. Just watch the airplane land in the hangar.  See, Patrick, sometimes you have to out-think the baby.  You know, Patrick, maybe we..."
"Patrick:  Ahh, thanks for sharing, baby","Okay. Time to lighten things up. Do you like games, Squiddy?"
Patrick: Games? Games is our middle name!,"You like that, Squiddy?"
Patrick: He does.,"Ohh, this game's kinda dangerous."
SpongeBob and Patrick: Squiddy!  Squiddy. No! Patrick: Don't worry. I got this.,"Hooray!  Squidward!  Squiddy, are you okay?  We need to do a better job of protecting him. There, there now, no need to cry."
"Patrick: Don't worry, he'll be settled down in couple of minutes. Narrator: 72 hours later. Mr. Krabs: It's one minute till opening. Where the barnacles are me employerees? I don't pay them to be late. Patrick: Taking care of a baby sure is hard.","You said it! I'm exhausted! Hey, Patrick. I have to go to work. Would you mind holding Squidw....  I guess it's just you and me, little fella."
"Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, Squidward, enough duff-dragging! Get to your stations, pronto!","Mr. Krabs, Squidward is in no condition to perform his Krusty duties.  The poor guy has the mind of an infant."
Mr. Krabs: I don't care if he has seaweed-for-brains. He needs to be behind that register. We've got customers out there just begging to hand me their money.,But...
"Mr. Krabs: No buts! Get to work, you two!","All settled into your work station, I see. Maybe you're ready for your Krusty duties after all! Now let's make it official!  Oh, how silly of me!  Squiddy needs a high chair!  And duct tape!  Oh, Squiddy! I'm so proud of you! Just yesterday, you were drooling all over me! And look at you now, working and sitting in a big boy seat!"
"Mr. Krabs: All right! That's enough, you two. Time to serve some customers!","Remember, buddy! I'll be right behind you!"
"Billy: Can I get a Krabby Patty and a large kelp shake, please?  Okay, how much do I owe ya?","Squidward! That's not for eating!  There we are. Good as neww-!  That's not for eating either!  Sorry, sir."
"Mr. Krabs: Hop to it, boys. We haven't even taken our first order!","Yes, Mr. Krabs.  You know what to do.  Thanks, Squiddy. I can also count on, huh...  Will this be for here or to go?  We have to work on your penmanship, Squiddy."
"Nat: My face! My face! Also my leg, but mostly my face! Pilar: Hey! Are you going to take an order or what?","Squidward! Yelling at a poor, defenseless baby! You oughta be ashamed!"
"Pilar: Listen, man! I'm done playing these baby games!  Oh, my Neptune! Customers: What is that? What is it? Mr. Krabs: What in blazes is going on around he...... Whoa! Mr. Squidward!  Where are your manners?","Mr. Krabs, watch his head!"
Mr. Krabs: Watch his head? Why don't you watch his diaper?  And get it changed!,"Yes, sir! Yes, sir!  Oh."
Fred: We're eating here!,Sorry!
"Customer: Hey, I'm trying to walk here!",Sorry!
"Suzy Fish:  Hey, I was gonna get ketchup there!","Sorry!  Okay, Squiddy! Hold still! And, oh, boy!"
"Mr. Krabs: Are you out of your ever-living mind?! We can't change that baby out here in front of the customers! Take him in back where the food is prepared.  Oh, that's it! Get that poopy baby out of me restaurant!","Mr. Krabs, if my poopy baby isn't welcome here, then I'm not staying either!  Squidward!"
Squidward: What the? Where am I? What's going on?,"Oh, Squidward, you're back to your normal grown-up self."
Squidward: Of course I'm grown-up! Why wouldn't I be?  Am I wearing a diaper?,Yes.
Squidward: Is it full?,"Sorry, Squidward, I was gonna change it, but I got in the wra..."
Squidward: Stop! Not another word about this. Ever!,"Kids, they grow up so fast. Whoo-hoo! Yeah!"
Gary: Meow.,"Oh, Gary, I'm so excited!  Tonight, they're showing the only episode of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy that I've never seen! Whoo-hoo!"
"Gary: Meow, meow!",It was lost... to the sands of time.  Until they found a copy in the producer's underwear drawer.
Gary: Meow.,"It's part two of the two-part special, The Case of the Curious Cliff Hanger. Well, I've rearranged the living room for optimal TV viewing."
Gary: Meow?,The popcorn's a-popping.
Gary:  Meow.,"And the soda's on ice. All that's left is to set the VCR to record  so I can relive the magic over and over forever.  Hmm, but which tape to use? Don't have any blank ones left. Hmm.  Oh, here we go. Who needs a tape of their own birth, anyway?  Yoop, done!  Now it's just one quick shift at the Krusty Krab, and I'll be back for the evening's entertainment. Normally I like working, but today is moving  so slowly. Oh, at this rate I'm never gonna see Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy. Hmm?"
"Barnacle Boy Patty: We'll help you get through the day, SpongeBob. Mermaid Man Patty: And tonight we'll conquer evil!","Aw, you guys always make me feel better.  Hmm?"
French Narrator: One Shift Later...,"All right, bye, Squidward! Bye, Mr. Krabs!  See you tomorrow!"
"Mrs. Puff: Oh, SpongeBob. My boat has a flat tire. Could you help me change it?","Oh, uh, well,  I gotta get home for Mermaid Man, but—but sure, I guess I have a little time."
"Mrs. Puff: Oh, good. Let me know when you're done.","Luckily, I brought all my tools.  Jack, wrench, hammer, jackhammer— Whoa!  Jack-wrench, wrench-hammer, hammer-hammer. Okay, I'm ready! Gotta get that old tire off. And...  Yes? No. Maybe if I try... Hmm. Ah-ha! Okay, Mrs. Puff. Good to go."
"Mrs. Puff: Thanks again, SpongeBob.","Oh, no problem, Mrs. Puff. Hmm. I still have time to get home before my show, if I pick up the pace.  Ah, home sweet pineapple!"
"Patrick: Hey, buddy! You got a minute?","Oh, uh, not really, but—"
"Patrick: I double-parked my rock, and it got towed.  Could you help me get it back?","Oh, uh, sure. Uh, but let's make it quick. Mermaid Man is on soon."
Impound worker: You'se guys can take a look around on your owns.,"They all look the same, Patrick. How are we gonna find your rock?"
"Patrick: Don't worry, buddy. I'll know it when I feel it. Oh, this might be it! Give me a hand! Patrick: Ow! No, this isn't it. Oh, ooh, this one might be it! Patrick: Ouch! No, this isn't it either. Ow! No. Ow! No.  No.  No. Patrick:  This is it. This is my rock! Impound worker: Congratulations. Now there's a little matter of the fee. Patrick: Oh, talk to him.",Here you go.
"Patrick:  Thanks, SpongeBob! See you at home for Mermaid Man! Whoo-hoo!","Wait, wait, Patrick! Could you give me a...ride?"
"Sandy: SpongeBob! Oh, thank goodness you're here. I could really use your help.","Oh, hey, Sandy. Uh, I'm kind of in a rush 'cause Mermaid Man is on and it's the lost episode—"
"Sandy: Oh, it won't take more than a minute. Sandy: My laser acorn experiment blasted a nut-sized hole in my dome. Could you stick your finger here while I go get my fix-it-up kit?",I don't really have a lot of time to—
"Sandy:  Thanks, be right back! Kid #1: Gosh, I can't wait to see that long lost Mermaid Man episode tonight. Kid #2: Oh, for sure. No real fan would miss it. Not for the world. Sandy: All righty, SpongeBob. I'm ready to—What?",That's it! No more distractions! I am gonna—
"Mr. Krabs: Boy-o, you gotta help me sort me loose change!",But Mermaid Man.
"Mr. Krabs: Thanks, boy-o!","Don't wanna miss it! Don't wanna miss it!  But Mermaid Man.  But Mermaid Man.  But Mermaid Man.  But Mermaid Man.  But Mermaid Man.  But Mermaid Man. Well, I may have missed the live broadcast, but at least I got it all on tape. Here I come, Mermaid Man!  Oh.  Where'd I put my keys?  Did I leave them on the table again?  No, my tape!  My soda!  My popcorn!  My Mermaid Man!"
"Gary: Meow. Sandy: Hey there, SpongeBob. Why all the waterworks?",I was so busy helping everyone that I missed Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy and my VCR didn't record it and now I'll never see it and my life has no meaning!
"Sandy: All right, listen up. SpongeBob has helped every single one of us dozens of times over. But we ain't been very helpful to him today. Patrick: Yeah, I was a lousy friend. Sandy: Now, we may have taken advantage of his kindness, but I got a plan to make things right. French Narrator: The Next Day...",Play…
"Sandy:  Hey there, SpongeBob. Feeling any better? Sandy: Aww,  why don't you come with me? I have a little surprise for you.","I'm not really in the mood, Sandy."
"Sandy: Aww, quit acting like a calf with colic.  Come on, SpongeBob.","Gee, Sandy, where'd you get an outdoor amphitheater?"
Sandy: Don't worry about that. Just sit right here and enjoy the play.,"Oh, okay."
"Plankton: Welcome, ladies and morons! It's time for the exciting conclusion to... The Case of the Curious Cliffhanger!",Huh? Whoa!
"Larry: Help me, Barnacle Boy. I'm hanging...from this cliff. Patrick: And look, I am also hanging from this cliff. We sure are in danger. Mr. Krabs:  You should give up while you can, Mermaid Man. Larry: Haven't you heard, Captian Tightwad? I'll never give up fighting...um...Line? Mrs. Puff:  Oh, um... Evil. Larry: Evil!","Wow! Yes, yes!"
"Patrick, Squidward, Mr. Krabs, Sandy, Plankton, and Mrs. Puff: ♪He may be half a mermaid!♪ Gary: ♪Meow!♪ Patrick, Squidward, Mr. Krabs, Sandy, Plankton, and Mrs. Puff: ♪And he may be half a man!♪ Gary: ♪Meow!♪ Patrick, Squidward, Mr. Krabs, Sandy, Plankton, and Mrs. Puff: ♪But to us he's more than a hero!♪ Gary: ♪Meow, meow!♪ Patrick, Squidward, Mr. Krabs, Sandy, Plankton, and Mrs. Puff: ♪He's our Mermaid Man!♪","Ah, oh, bravo! Bravo! Bravo!  Yes! Ah!  Thank you, everyone!  I loved the show! And I loved the love you showed me! And I love how you showed me the love you showed me in the show I love.  This is my favorite episode of Mermaid Man ever!"
"Old Man Jenkins: Hey! What are you kids doing in my outdoor amphitheater? Sandy:  Cheese it, everyone! It's Old Man Jenkins! Old Man Jenkins: Come back! I just wanna be in the play.","Aww, I'll play with you, Old Man Jenkins.  Do you wanna be Mermaid Man?"
"Old Man Jenkins: It's the role of my dreams!  Zoom!  Whoo! Barg'N Mart P.A.: Attention, shoppers: We've got a SpongeBob on Aisle 6. Patrick: Make a sharp left! Patrick: We're here!",I still don't understand why you had me wear a blindfold.
"Patrick: Oh, um, I didn't want you to get anything in your eyes.  See?  Okay, thanks, buddy. I'm going to my club meeting now.","What's your club, hmm?"
"Patrick: Uh, it's the Empty Head Society. Eh, it's a place where guys like me can give their  powerful intellects a much-needed rest.",Whoa! I'd love to rest my intellect. Can I join?
"Patrick: Sure! Anyone can join. It's exclusive.  Oh, that's not how you open it.  You have to step on the automatic doormat.  Ding!",Wow. They do seem blissfully brainless.
"Patrick: Oh, oh, hold it!  You have to check your smart thingy at the door. Sheldon: Hello, numbskull. Patrick: Hiya, dodo! Sheldon: Shall we do the Empty Head handshake? Patrick: Okay!",What was that?
"Patrick: The signal for the meeting to start. Come on. Ice Cream King: Good, I see everyone's in their assigned places. The secretary will now read the minutes. Ice Cream King's secretary:  These are the minutes. One minute, twelve minutes, wait a minute, give me a minute. Ice Cream King: Hike!  Are there any new initiates here tonight? Patrick:  SpongeBob, go up. You always wanted to join the club. Ice Cream King:  Hmm, are you sure you're, uh, brainless enough?  Perfect! You've earned your first badge.  It's time to pass the jar.",Hmm? Hmm? Uh...
Empty Head Society club members: Drink! Drink! Drink! Empty Head Society club members: Drink! Drink! Drink! Empty Head Society club members:  Ugh!,What? You said drink!
Ice Cream King:  Ahem.  Lemonade?,Huh?
Ice Cream King:  We just save and date the drool. But that was so dopey you earned another badge!  There! It's now time to go out in the community and help the citizens... of Bikini Bottom by doing our civic duty. Whatever that means.,"Uh, we're gonna do some civic duty?"
"Patrick: We call it the Nitwitting. Patrick, Ice Cream King, and the Empty Head Society club members: ♪We're all unfit. We must admit we're dumb as a box of rocks.  But time permitting, we'll be nitwitting. Has anyone seen my socks?♪ Ice Cream King: To the mini boats! Two Empty Head Society club members: To the mini boats!","Patrick, why are we doing this, again?"
"Patrick: I have no idea. Trenchbilly Empty Head Society club member: Hey, mister. You dropped your ball. Blobfish Empty Head Society club member: Keep running. I'll pace you. Shark Empty Head Society club member: These lights could use a smile.",I have a feeling you guys are a little confused about what civic duty is.
"Patrick:  Uh, I don't think so! Civic duty is using your patootie.  No confusion there! Patrick: Why would people throw their stinky garbage in these beautiful cans?",Maybe their pockets were already full.
Ice Cream King:  Pockets full? I can clearly see you're not as brainless as us.,Aww…
Patrick: I can't see anything!,"Oh well.  I guess I'm just not Empty Head material. Well, bye, buddy."
Patrick:  My name's Buddy now? Both: Buddy! Buddy! Buddy!,"Well, that's funny. I seem to be lost. Oh, I'll figure it out. I still got so life in the ol' brain stem. What's a brain stem? I know! I'll just walk backwards and that should get me back to the beginning of the day.  I'm even more lost-er than I was before-er.  Oh, I will direct asking— Ask directions.  Excuse me, large lady. I'm a widdle girl who's misplace herself. Can you help find me?  I'm pretty.  Ow!"
Abigail Marge: Weirdo!,"Well, that didn't come out right. Oh, I've forgotten how to sit!"
"Charlie:  Obviously not the sharpest tool in the—the tool thing. Patrick: Oh, there you are! You forgot your thinking thingy. I wasn't sure which one was yours, buddy.","Uh, now my name's Buddy?"
"Patrick: No, duh. That's my name! I think.","No, not mine.  Wrong brain.  Oh, bad brain. Oh, I guess I'll take this stupid one."
"Patrick:  Hmm...Hmm... Try saying, I'm ready.","Slime ready! Uh, dime Betty!  Spaghetti! I'm sweaty! I'm all wetty!  I'm ready.  I'm ready! I'm ready! High-five!"
Patrick: Yeah!,"Patrick, I know you and the Empty Head Society mean well, but man, we sure messed up a lot of things in town today. So, I'm gonna reverse all the damage that we did during the Nitwitting!"
"Patrick: Hey, you'd better hurry because you're getting smaller! What a guy. Hmm?  Nothing like a good sit in a chair.","Oh, that's weird. Everything's already back to normal. What?  Hmm. Well, it's still a mess over here.  Sandy? You cleaned everything up?"
"Sandy: Of course, SpongeBob. I belong to a club called F.E.M.A.  That stands for Fix the Emptyhead's Mess Again. Our civic duty is repairing the mayhem that the Empty Heads cause every month. You got some gunk on your tie.","Yeah, they're badges."
"Sandy: Hey, SpongeBob. How would you like to join F.E.M.A.?","No thanks. After giving my brain a vacation, I need a rest."
"Both: Huh? Sandy: Uh-oh! Speaking of brain vacation. Ice Cream King and the Empty Head Society club members: ♪We're all unfit. We must admit we're dumb as a box of rocks. But time permitting, we'll be nitwitting…♪ Patrick:  ♪Has anyone seen my socks?♪ Narrator: Every day is a holiday for SpongeBob, even if he has to make one up.","Hey everybody! It's Leif Erikson Day! Hinga-dinga-durgen! Ahoy, Patrick! It's Leif Erikson Day! There's a note."
"Patrick:  SpongeBob, went to get more giant paper. Uhhhh...Patrick. P.S. Happy Leif Erikson Day! Yingin-hinga-dinga!",Aww... so much for that. Maybe Sandy will play with me.  Another note.
"Sandy:  SpongeBob, went south for the winter. Love, Sandy.","I don't get it. The water's fine.  Hey, Squidward! Want to play?"
Squidward:  No.,Are you sure?
Squidward:  Yes.,"Darn. I wish I had a buddy to play with. I know! I'll make one! Stick Buddy!  Nah...  Rock Buddy! Nope...  Sink Buddy!  Almost...  I've got it!  Bubble Buddy!  This...is...great!  I can't wait for you to meet Squidward and Mr. Krabs.  Don't be shy, come on!"
Squidward: Please come again. When I'm not working. Next.,"Hi, Squidward!"
Squidward: How am I supposed to enjoy your day off if you come to work anyway?,"I want you to meet my new friend, Bubble Buddy!"
"Squidward: This bubble is your friend?  Well, he's handsome, I'll give him that. What'll it be?","Oh, I'm not hungry."
"Squidward: Well, thanks for stopping by.",Wait! You haven't taken Bubble Buddy's order yet!
Squidward: Why would I do that?,He's hungry.
"Squidward: He's an inanimate object, his money's no good here! Mr. Krabs:  What are you saying, Mr. Squidward? Everyone's money is good here.  At the Krusty Krab, we serves all kinds. Squidward: I'm not taking an order for a bubble. Mr. Krabs: Sure you are! Or I'll fill your life with misery and woe.  Even if you quit. Squidward: May I take your order?","Wait, Bubble Buddy. Let me decide for you.  Hmmm. Krabby Patty, Double Patty Patty, Krabby Junior Junior, Jumbo Small Patty, Junior Senior Sophomore Patty, Quarter Ouncer Double Pounder...ohh, it's all so good! He'll just have one of everything."
"Mr. Krabs: One of everything?! Whoopee!  I love Bubble Buddy! Squidward, show our best customer to his table.",Bubble Buddy's thirsty.
Squidward: How about a glass of our finest shampoo?,Sounds great!
"Squidward: Here's your hair care product, sir.","Uhh, Bubble Buddy likes bendy straws.  Huh, what's that? Bubble Buddy says it tastes funny. What do you think?"
"Squidward: Mr. Krabs! Mr. Krabs:  Think of the customer. Squidward:  Oh, silly me. I got the diet shampoo. Here we go, one of everything for Bubble Buddy.","Oh no, Squidward, wait! There's cheese on these patties!"
Squidward: And?,"Bubble Buddy's lactose-intolerant, he can't eat cheese! What should we do?"
Squidward: We? How about you take these patties and sh... Mr. Krabs:  Mr. Squidward!,"Don't worry, Bubble Buddy. Squidward will make a fresh batch."
"Squidward: What, is he allergic to bread, too?","Actually he doesn't like the crust. And Squidward, the ketchup should be under the patty. And Squidward, the pickles should be on the left side. And Squidward, you should... And Squidward... And Squidward... And Squidward... And Squidward..."
"Squidward: Here, one of everything! No cheese, no crust, pickles to the left, four squirts of ketchup, wheat buns, non-dairy lettuce, and farm-raised tomatoes carnival-style!  And if there's anything else I can do, please hesitate to ask.","That was delicious! Money's on the table, Mr. Krabs!"
"Mr. Krabs: So long, boys! You see, Squidward, the restaurant game is all about service. The customer is always right. Remember that, lad, and you'll be as successful as me one day. Squidward:  Oh, you're right, Mr. Krabs. I learned my lesson. And by the way, Bubble Buddy picked up the tab. Mr. Krabs: What's this? Squidward: Bubble money.  At least they left a tip!","Here we are, Bubble Buddy, Goo Lagoon. There are lots of ways to have fun here."
"Scooter: Dudes, bury me!",See what I mean?  All done!
Scooter:  All right!,"Bubble Buddy, you dig him out while I get some cotton candy."
"Scooter: Don't just stand there, dude. The tide's coming in.  Dude?",My friend's in there.
Harold: Congratulations.,Woo! Shake it! Shake it! Yeah! Shake that bubble butt! Yeah!
"Pearl: It's the world-famous surf punk, Grubby Grouper! Grubby Grouper: Later, groupies!  Grubby's got to go catch some gnarly pounders. Ahoo! Pearl:  Oh, I'll never wash this flipper again.","Hey, Pearl! Shake hands with Bubble Buddy!  It's his first time on his own."
"Harold: Once again, congratulations. Man: Popcorn! Peanuts! Lou:  Ice cold drinks! Harold:  Two hours is long enough! That's it!","Hey, Bubble Buddy, you're finished!"
"Francis: He kept us waiting for a bubble? Larry: That's nothing! He called us fat! Pearl:  He washed my flipper! Mr. Krabs:  He owes me money! Squidward:  He made me provide excellent service! Scooter:  Dudes! He made me experience high tide! Tom: He poisoned our water supply, burned our crops and delivered a plague unto our houses! Protesters: He did? Tom: No... But are we just gonna wait around until he does? Mr. Krabs: I say we tip something over! Lifeguard: Hey, hey, hey! Protester: Now what? Protesters: Get the lifeguard! Squidward: Wait! Don't waste this senseless violence on him! It's that stupid bubble of SpongeBob's that's causing all the problems!  Who's with me? Protesters:  Pop the bubble!","Hey, everyone! Have you met my friend, Bubble Buddy?"
Protesters: Yes...,"Hey, is this one of those sewing circles?"
Protesters: No...,Would you mind not getting so close with those pins? Pointy objects make Bubble Buddy uncomfortable.
"Larry: SpongeBob, that bubble's got to go.","Oh no, he already took care of that, but thanks for your concern."
Pearl: No. Go as in...,Why?!
Mr. Krabs: You and that bubble have been nothing but trouble! It's time to end it!,No! I won't let you!  Here we go! You'll never catch us now! Never! Ha haa! Never!  Never...
"Squidward: Enough sea-horsing around, SpongeBob! Give us that bubble! Protesters: Pop the bubble! Pop the bubble! Pop the bubble!","No! You can't! He's not just a bubble, he's a Bubble Buddy! He's my friend and I love him! Haven't you ever had a very special friend?"
"Mr. Krabs:  Nickel Buddy, I'll never spend you! Sheldon: Funny Muffler... Larry: Jerky Pal... Harold: Boo-boo Keys... Man: Snake Eyes...  We love you!","So, what do you say?"
Protesters:  Pop the bubble! Pop the bubble! Pop the bubble! Squidward: Let's get this over with so I can go home and play my clarinet!,Noo...
"Bubble Buddy: Whoa!  Hey, don't I get a say in this? I'll see you later, SpongeBob. Things are getting a little weird around here.",So long.
Bubble Buddy: Happy Leif Erikson Day! Squidward: He's alive?,Of course! Otherwise he couldn't tell such funny jokes!  Seems like only this morning I held his bottle.  They blow up so fast.
Squidward:  Uh...hi?,"Gary! Looks like it's that time of week again: bath time!  Come on, let's go get the water started. You're gonna have to get in that tub, Gary. Now, Gary, we can do this the hard way, or the easy way, or the medium way,  or the semi-medium-easy-hard way, or the sorta hard with a touch of awkward-easy-difficulty-challenging way...  So that's how you wanna play it, huh? Gary! Check out this new toy. Fetch!  Huh? New Boomerang Pet Ball: Really Works! Hmmm. Gary! There's a bomb strapped to my chest! It's gonna explode in 3 seconds unless you take a bath!  Please...?  I am now going to assault your mind with subliminal messages!"
Subliminal Girl:,"Sorry you had to see that.  Hello, Fancy French Restaurant? I've got a naughty snail here who won't take a bath.  What? Can you say that again?  Slow down! It's like you're speaking some other language!  Hey, Gare! How 'bout some leapfrog? Weehee! Okay, your turn.  Hey, Gare! How 'bout some leapfrog?  ... I've got a crisp dollar bill for the next fella to take a bath in this house!  Ya-da-da-da...  That didn't work either, huh?  Gary! Gary! Look what I found! It's an old, pirate treasure map revealing a location of buried pirate treasure in this very house! Come on, boy, let's go get that treasure! Whoo! Okay, Gary, now 40 paces to the left. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10... 24, 25, 26, twenty seveeen...  40. The treasure must be in here!  Wow, Gary, look! A pirate treasure chest!"
Gary: Meow.,"Why, no, Gary, this isn't the bathtub.  It's treasure! Look, doubloons!  Don't drop 'em... Look at this brooch!"
Gary: Meow.,"I don't know what a snail would want with a brooch! Now why don't you just get into the tub?!  Get in the tub!  Get in the tub!  Get in the tub!  In the tub!  In the tub!  Now, Gary, are you gonna get in this tub or am I gonna have to...  Gary, could you...  Gary, no!  Gary! . Alright, Gary, you have duped and/or frustrated me for the last time! So, if I can't get you to come to the bath, I'll just have to bring the bath to you. . Psst, Gary. Bath delivery! . Come back, Gary! I have something to chair with you.  Dish is more like it! Water you waiting for, Gary?"
Gary:,"Aww, stuck in a tree? It's time to clean up your act, Gary! . Oh, no! I bathed Gary too hard and removed his skin!  Gary! Bring that ladder back this instant!  I am really not amused, mister. You are going to take a bath and you are going to get clean right now!"
Gary: Meow.,I am so the boss of you!
Gary: Meow.,"It may be a free country, but you live in my house under my rules."
Gary: Meow.,"Don't use that tone of voice with me. You will do what I say when I say.  What are you doing? I am talking to you, mister!  Do not go near that mud puddle! Gary The Snail, do you hear me? I am giving you 3 seconds to get away from that mud puddle! 1,  2,  two and a half...  don't make me say 3!  Gary! Gary! Gary! Gary!!  I'm a dirty boy..."
Gary: Meow.,"Yeah, yeah, Gary.  I'm getting behind my ears. Hey, Patrick."
"Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob.",All ready to go jellyfishing today?
Patrick: No. Just kidding!,I see you even brought your double net.
Patrick: Yep. It's three times as fun.,"Um, Patrick? Don't you mean twice as fun?"
Patrick: What is?,Your— never mind.
"Patrick: Oh, SpongeBob, That reminds me. We should probably check the weather report before we go.",Good idea.
Phil: And now the weather.,Here we go.
"Phil Preflumster: Thank you, Phil. Today's weather forecast calls for—  A horrible storm will ravage the Bikini Bottom area. Patrick and SpongeBob: A horrible storm? Phil Preflumster: You heard me. Panic is not advised although it is recommended. Also, an advisory has been issued to avoid any and all jellyfishing if possible.","Patrick, help me get these boards nailed up."
"Patrick: SpongeBob, this seems like a strange time to start decorating.","Start dec— you sir, obviously do not recognize fine decorating when you see it."
Patrick: Hmm.,"Admire it later, Patrick. Right now, we got to get my house converted into a shelter capable of withstanding extreme weather."
Patrick: You can say that again.,"Actually, I can't."
Patrick: Why?,Because I just stepped on one of these nails.
"Squidward: La da dee, la da da, la da doo. Got ya. Now just one quick flick of the wrist, and— Squidward: Squidward: Grr! Patrick: Violin.","Whoo! Nice work, buddy. Now my house can withstand anything nature has to throw at us."
Patrick: I guess Squidward's not part of nature.,Squidward! Did you come to weather out the storm with us?
Squidward: No! I— what storm?,The one Preflumster told us about.
Squidward: Who's that? Patrick: He's the weatherman on the news channel. He said— Squidward: I can't understand a word you're saying.,"C'mon Squidward, it'll be fun! While the elements rage outside, we'll snuggle in here and pass the time by playing board games, and playing tic-tac-toe, and drinkin' hot cocoa, and playing tic-tac-toe, and doing jigsaw puzzles, and watchin' TV, and drinkin' hot cocoa, and doing jigsaw puzzles, and playin' board games, and drinkin' hot tea..."
Patrick: I thought it was cocoa!,"Oh, yeah. Hot cocoa... we'll be drinking."
"Patrick: That's better. Squidward: Well, I think I'll pass.",Even if I let you borrow my huggly snuggly bunny slippers?
"Squidward: Hmm, I'll have to think about that.","Okay, but you better think fast. Because Patrick really likes my— Squidward, welcome back! Here's your slippers. That's better."
"Squidward: What's better about it? I liked it better before, when I could see!","Squidward, the lights went out."
"Squidward: Yes, they did, when you turned them off! Patrick: SpongeBob!",Patrick! What is it?
Patrick: I never realized how delicious your hot cocoa is.,"Thank you, Patrick."
"Squidward: Oh, boy. How about some of those games you promised?","Okay, boys, let's roll to see who goes first."
"Squidward: This is tic-tac-toe. You don't roll to see who goes first. Patrick: He's right. You play rock, paper, scissors for it.","Oh, yeah."
Patrick: One.,Two.
Squidward: Three!,"Oh, it's a tie."
"Patrick: Darn it! Patrick, SpongeBob, Squidward: One, two, three. Patrick: Darn it! I'll get you next time. Squidward: One, two, three.",Tie.
"Patrick: Darn it! Squidward: One, two, three.",Tie.
"Patrick: Darn it! Squidward: There, I win. See? Patrick: I'm not seeing anything there.","Yeah, it looks like a lot of junk."
"Squidward: What do you mean, you're not seeing anything?! There's three in a row right here. Tic-tac-toe! Patrick: Easy, friend.","Yeah, relax, Squidward. We're just here to have fun. Oh, okay, yeah, okay. Here we go. Congratulations, Squidward."
Patrick: Well played.,"Come on, Patrick. You can do it. Be the puzzle piece."
Patrick: Cannot complete jigsaw puzzle! Difficulty level too advanced. Rate of brain activity increasing. Ageing process by 30 years per second.,"Come on, Grandpa, you can do it. You still got a good few years left in you."
Patrick: Eh?,"Go, Patrick, go! Go, Patrick, Go! Go, Patrick, go! Go, Patrick, go!"
Squidward: Grrr!,"Go, Patrick, go!"
Squidward: I told you creatures I was trying to take a nap over here. Now for the last time can't you just—,"Hang on, Squidward. Patrick was just about to figure out where this last piece of the puzzle goes. Weren't you, Patrick?!"
Patrick: Who's the green guy? Squidward: It's the last piece of the puzzle! There's only one place it can go. Right here!,Squidward. It wasn't your turn. That's cheating.
Squidward: Cheating?! It's a jigsaw puzzle! You can't cheat!,"Oh, it's okay, Squidward. We'll just start over."
Squidward: I've got to get out of here!,"Oh, welcome back, Squidward. We were about to figure out where the first piece of the puzzle goes. Oh, maybe Squidward can help us fig—"
"Squidward: No, I can't.","Please, Squidward?"
Squidward: No way.,Please...
Squidward: I have an even better idea.,What is it?
"Patrick: Tell us. SpongeBob and Patrick: Tell us! Tell us! Tell us! Tell us! Squidward: Shh. Quiet time. It's a game called boundaries. Patrick: Ooh-ooh-ooh! Squidward: Yes, Patrick? Patrick: Will there be any spelling in this game? Squidward: Oh, no, no spelling. Patrick: Yes! Squidward: It's very simple. The object of the game is to see how long everyone leaves Squidward alone until the storm passes. He will stay inside boundaries, he'll define by chalk lines on the floor.",I have a question.
Squidward: What?,Where are you going to get the chalk?
"Squidward: I brought some! Squidward: Brilliant work, as usual, Squidward. Now all I have to do is sit here until this storm blows over.  Wait a minute. I'm starving. SpongeBob's got to have some snacks around here somewhere. Ah, Jackpot.  I bet you wish you had some of this, don't—? Snail food?  I've got to get some real food.",Halt! Nobody's to cross this boundary.
Squidward: I'm the one who drew the line. You're not supposed to cross.,"If you're the one who drew it, let me see some identification papers."
"Squidward: Identific—? Fine. But when this storm blows over, you'll regret this, mister. What the— what? I don't have them. they must be in my other pants. Look, if you just let me cross, I can go get them. Please, I promise I'll—",Hmm. You may be telling the truth.
"Squidward: Oh, thank you. I'm just so hungry.","But then again, you may not. Come with me. We shall find out the truth."
Squidward: That'll be the day.,Stop that cephalopod!
Squidward: Please. I just want to get back... onto my side of boundary.,"This, I cannot allow. It is against the rules."
Squidward: But all I wanted was something to eat. Patrick: Did somebody say something to eat?,"Patrick, look out!"
Squidward: Whoa! Squidward: My food!,Your food?
"Patrick: Hey, I want some too. Squidward: Is this what we've really come to? Is one little storm all it takes to turn us all into complete animals?","Apparently so. Well, that and a refrigerator full of food anyways."
Squidward: Did you hear that?,It's just Patrick gnawing on his can.
"Squidward: No, no, no, no, no, no, not that. I mean from outside.",I don't hear anything.
Squidward: The storm must've stopped.,"Squidward, wait!"
"Squidward: Woo-hoo! So long, suckers! Squidward: Oof! Oh, curse you, Preflumster! Plankton: More fruit punch, SpongeBob?","You know, Plankton, when you invited me over, I thought it was another trick to get the Krabby Patty formula. Now, I see you just love social gatherings in the workplace!"
"Plankton: Oh, I love office parties. We got roller chair races and karaoke. Hey! I know a gag we can do. Copy our faces on the new copy machine!",Ooh! Should I put my face on the glass?
Plankton: Why don't you lay your whole body down? That glass is big enough.,How's this? Like this? What about this? Is this good?
Plankton: Alright. Party's over. Go home!,Aw...But I'd like some more fruit punch.
"Plankton: No more punch for you! You don't look so good, SpongeBob. I suggest you take the day off tomorrow.",Nah! I feel fine!
Plankton: Are you sure?,"Now that you ask, I don't know.  I think I just felt a twinge!"
"Plankton: You'll be fine if you take tomorrow off.  Hello, SpongeBob CopyPants. Can you say Secret formula? SpongeBob Copy: Se.. Se... for mama. Plankton: Se-cret Form-ula. SpongeBob Copy:  Se-cret Form-ula. Secret formula! Plankton: Now, remember. Your name is SpongeBob SquarePants and your assignment is to ask Krabs for the secret Krabby Patty formula. SpongeBob Copy: My name is SpongeBob SquarePants, and I want the secret formula. Plankton: Excellent! Now, off you go! Wait!  Just keeping track of my copy. Plankton: What are you doing here?! You said you would take today off.",But I feel great today.
Plankton: Are you sure? Because you're sweating. Plankton: But you can't work. You have yellow jaundice!,"Oh, Plankton. Yellow is my natural color."
SpongeBob Copy: Morning. Squidward: Whatever.,Morning.
"Squidward: I said Whatever.  Wait, didn't I just... didn't I... Both SpongeBobs: Ooh. Squidward: There's only one explanation. I'm still in my bed and I'm having a nightmare!  Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! Short customer: I'd like to place an order for two. Squidward: Two, as in Two SpongeBobs? Sure, this is all just a bad dream, right? I'm dreaming and you're in my dream! Short customer: That's me: The man of your dreams. Squidward: If this is a dream. there are no consequences. I can do anything!  I really am dreaming!","What's your name, handsome stranger?"
SpongeBob Copy: My name is SpongeBob SquarePants.,Wow! We look alike and have the same name! That's two things we have in common!  I always wanted a twin brother!  How do you feel about bubbles?
SpongeBob Copy: I love them!,Jelly fishing?
SpongeBob Copy: The same thing you do.,How about Squidward?
"SpongeBob Copy: Oh, please.",I think I'll nickname you... Me two!
"Plankton: Hey, SpongeCopy. Good to see ya.  Have you learned the secret formula yet? Me Two: Oh, I can't tell you that. It's a secret. By the way, my name is Me Two. Plankton: Me Two? I'm such a deep sea dope! Now that the copy's gone in contact with the original SpongeBob, he won't tell me the formula.  Time to adjust my plan. Mr. Krabs: Wait a minute! I can't afford two SpongeBobs! If this a scheme to collect two paychecks, forget about it! You're getting one paycheck split in two. Both SpongeBobs: You are too good to us, Mr. Krabs. Plankton:  Karen, did you know you're married to a genius? Karen: How could I forget?  You had it tattooed on my hard drive. Plankton: Now where was I? Oh, yeah, I saved SpongeBob digital DNA. SpongeBob Copy: Ooh. Karen: No, no, SpongeCopy. We don't put dirty, nasty things in our mouth. Spit it out. ] Plankton: Yuck! Now listen. Your name is SpongeBob SquarePants and you're to go straight to Mr. Krabs  and ask him for the secret formula. SpongeBob Copy: Mr. Krabs, secret formula. Got it. Plankton: And stay away from any other SpongeBobs! SpongeBob Copy: Got it! Karen: Ah! Ah! SpongeCopy! Plankton: You see, this is why I never had children. Squidward: Yup. I'm still dreaming.  Hello, there. Are you enjoying my dream?  I heard you like your patties Ground! Mr. Krabs:  Mr. Squidward! Just what the devilfish do you think your doing?! Squidward: Isn't it obvious, you red-faced tightwad? I'm dreaming!  What's that under there? Mr. Krabs: Under where? Squidward: That's right.  ♪I don't care, I don't care, none of this is real.♪ Hmm, I always wanted to fly and since this is my dream, I'm going to fly! SpongeBob Copy: Hello, Mr. Krabs. Hey, can you tell me the secret Krabby Patty formula? Mr. Krabs: You want me tell you the formula? That's quite a responsibility, laddy. SpongeBob Copy: Secret formula. Mr. Krabs: Well, you make a good point. Lean in boy! Plankton: He's doing it. He knows the formula. I can taste triumph! Wait, no! No! SpongeBob Copy: Secret formula. Secret formula. Secret formu...","Hey, look. Another handsome devil.  We'll call you Me Three  Aww. Let's go flip some patties."
"Plankton: Neptune's puddle! Now that SpongeBob's been corrupted by the other 2! What I need is a legion of Bobs. A full-lined blitz cream of Bobs.  March! March, my pretties, and learn the formula! SpongeBob Copies: Secret Formula. Secret Formula. Mr. Krabs: Whoa! You guys are multiplying faster than me moneys! Alright, pipe down! I'm only going to tell you the secret formula one more time! SpongeBob copies:  One more time! Mr. Krabs: So you've all memorized the formula. Now get to work! I have to calculate paychecks. SpongeBob copies: Yay! Hooray! Plankton: They all know the formula! One SpongeBob Copy: Let me do that!",Okay. Thanks.
Another SpongeBob Copy: Let me do that!,Sure.
Another SpongeBob copy: I'll polish the pickles.,Looks like you sponges have everything covered.
Me Two:  Mm hmm.,"Hey, you don't look so good. Can I take you home? Where do you live?"
Me Two: I came from the Chum Bucket.,The Chum Bucket?
Plankton: ♪I'm going to know the formula! I'm going to know the formula...♪,"Plankton! Me Two says you made him in a copy machine, so that you could steal the secret formula."
"Plankton: Uh, well, that's pattonly ridiculous! Me Two: Uhh...",You got to help him! I think he's sick or something.
Me Two: I feel funny.,Me Two! Me Two! Oh! What happened to him?!
Plankton: I was afraid of that. I thought I'd save some money by using cheap toner.,What does that mean?
Plankton: It means my plan is ruined! All the SpongeBob copies will fade away now!,Fade away? All my brand new friends?! Nooooooooo! They can't!  No! Don't disappear!
"Plankton: Quickly, man! Before you fade, what's the formula?! SpongeBob Copy: It's easy. You take one par... I don't feel so good Plankton: Wait, no! Patrick: Life is but a walking shadow. Ha-lube-lube-lube-lube-lube... Plankton: What's the formula?! Mr. Krabs: Well, I did it. I calculated 1 paycheck down into 300 separate tiny checks. Only one of you left? Here. Plankton: Geez, what a cheapskate.  I can't believe I failed again!",I can believe it.
"Plankton: Wait, are you a copy?! Quick! What's the formula?!","Well, you see, it's...  Nice try, Plankton. But I'm the O.S. The original sponge.  I can't believe they're all gone."
Plankton: You wouldn't want all those copies of you around. They were just imitations anyway.,"Hey, those imitations were my friends."
Plankton: One SpongeBob is more than the world can handle anyway. You're a unique snowflake.,"Yeah, thanks, Plankton. Things did get a bit out of hand with all those me's around."
"Plankton: Yeah, you're pretty annoying. Well, you can stomp on me now if that's you want.","Plankton, I'm a unique snowflake, and snowflakes don't stomp. They skip."
"Plankton: Well, what do you know about that. No comeuppance! Squidward: Gaining speed, increasing thrust, raising nose, air pressure on tentacles, stray tables in right position, and liftoff! Plankton: Eh, spoke too soon. Comeuppance in three, two...  OW! Right on my keys! Patrick: Yeah? Starfish: Good day, sir. I am... Patrick:  I know exactly who you are!","Ah, there's nothing like spending quality time with my Gare-Gare."
"Lady on TV: Jason, I have to be honest. There's someone else. Man on TV: Grandpa! Patrick:  SpongeBob, help! He's onto me! I don't have much time!","Patrick, what are you doing?"
Patrick: I have to get rid of these books!,Why?
Patrick: I'll show you why.  See him? He's from the library. He knows about my overdue books.  Uh-huh. Which means I'm gonna get thrown into the big house. And you know what that means...,Small portion meals?
Patrick: Exactly!,"Patrick, don't you worry. I got your back, man.  Hi there."
"Starfish: Salutations, young one. Say, you wouldn't happen to know that starfish that lives under this rock, would you?","Huh? No, I don't know any starfish. Even if I did know this alleged starfish, Patrick wouldn't owe any overdue library books."
"Starfish:  Well, it's too bad you don't know Patrick Star, because I am from the Royal Ministry, and have a gift for him. Patrick:  Ooh, what is it?  This is the worst-tasting gift ever! Starfish: That's because you're suppose to wear it, not eat it. Allow me to show you something.  Let's see here. Aha! What I hold in my hands is a family tree that goes back centuries. It starts with the marriage of King Amoeba and Queen Mildew. Then, through a few inbred generations, ends at you, Sir Patrick, which makes you a descendant of royalty. You are a king. And now it's time I adjourn to the Royal Ministry, where I should be at your service. Your Highness.","Wow, Patrick, that's great!"
Patrick: What is?,That you're king!
Patrick: What's a king?,"When you're a king, you can get anything you want."
"Patrick: Anything I want?  SpongeBob, do you think we can get something to eat?","Your wish is my command, your majesty.  Good townspeople, let us rejoice in welcoming our new king."
"Patrick: King needs food badly. Mr. Krabs: What's this all ab...  Well, well, well. What can I do for you, Patrick?",The king would like...
"Mr. Krabs: Zip it, SquarePants... I'm talking to the rich guy. Patrick: I'll have ten Krabby Patties, a Krabby milkshake, large fries... Mr. Krabs: I've got a better idea.  A buffet fit for a king. Patrick:  Tasty. Mr. Krabs: Listen, Patrick, there comes a time in every man's life when he's got to settle down. You know, get a wife, kids, a father-in-law you give all your money to. Patrick: Uh-huh, that sounds great. Hey, can I get a little more ketchup? Mr. Krabs:  How about you pay the check, instead? Patrick: Oh, sorry, Mr Krabs, no can do. As king of Bikini Bottom, I am allowed to have anything I want. Isn't that right, SpongeBob?","That is correct. Anything you want, and it's all free."
"Mr. Krabs: All free?!!?  Nobody eats in me restaurant for free, king or no king! Patrick: Are you gonna eat that? Harold: I was planning to, why? Patrick: I want it. Harold: Hey! What gives you the right to take my food? Patrick:  Tell him, SpongeBob.","Uhh, Pat, I'm not sure this is what being king is all about."
Patrick: I thought you said I could have anything I want. Was my bestest friend lying to me?,"Don't be ridiculous, Patrick. I'd never lie to you."
Patrick: Good! Now tell him.,"Hi. By proclamation of the Royal Ministry, the king is entitled to get whatever he wants."
"Harold: This isn't fair. Patrick: Life isn't fair, pal. Get used to it. Fish: I finally did it! At long last, I've acquired issue #2 of Wonder Space Fish, and in mint condition. Now my 40 year-old life and my comic book collection are complete. Mom's gonna be so proud of me. Patrick: No, she won't be, because these comic books are mine! Fish: But, I've spent my entire life collecting those. Patrick: Yeah, well, now you can spend the rest of your life crying about it. I'm the king! Fish: I will cry about it.  I'll cry right to my mom! Patrick:  I love being king.","Ok, thank you, sir. I'm sure King Patrick could use this walker."
"Old Man Walker: I hope so. Neptune knows I did.  Oof! Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob!","Yes, sire?"
"Patrick:  I need your opinion on something. Do you think the giant flat-screen TV should go over the fancy egg display or the indoor swimming pool? Squidward: Hello, sunshine.  What a beautiful morning. Just perfect. Patrick: Back. Back. Okay. Yeah, that's good.  Perfect. Squidward:  My-my-my house. What's happened to my...huh?  SpongeBob, Patrick. What the barnacles is going on here?! Look at what you've done. Look at my poor front yard. Patrick: Your front yard?","Umm, his royal highness is building a royal Ferris Wheel."
Squidward: Ferris Wheel?!,"I know, isn't it great?"
"Squidward: No, it's not great! It's horrible! Oh, that's it! Stop! People of Bikini Bottom, stop! Stop! Patrick's no king. Look at him. How can this pink blob be king? Patrick:  Uh... Squidward: You. Do you honestly believe that that mindless starfish can possibly be the king of anything?  King of Morons, maybe. Worker: He might be on to something. Squidward: Yeah, yeah, yeah. See, see? Uh-huh. See? Crowd: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Man: Why are we giving this guy all our stuff? Squidward: See? See? You're not a king. And now, they all think so,  too! Patrick:  Get him! Attack! Attack!  SpongeBob, get him! So I decree. Attack!","Uh, right away, your majesty.  Umm, Squidward?"
Squidward:  What?,"Umm, could I get you to sign this treaty promising your eternal loyalty to King Patrick?"
"Squidward:  Give me that! A treaty, huh? Well, here's what I think of your treaty! Patrick:  My royal subjects have deserted me. And it's all 'cause of that horrible Squidward. This is all his fault. His, his, not mine, his!","Patrick, what's happened to you?"
Patrick: I don't know what you mean.,"Uh...  You know, Mr Krabs is probably wondering where I am...and..."
Patrick: And what...,"And, um, well...it's just that, um, you're kinda being a jerk."
Patrick: Huh?  I thought you were going to say I was abusing my power.,"Uh...well, I..."
"Patrick:  Who's saying I'm abusing my power!?  I'll put the whole town in prison!  Questioning my authority is reason! All these giggly speeches are making me thirsty. SpongeBob, I request a drink. SpongeBob?  SpongeBob?! Huh. Gee, everybody's gone. I'm all alone. Fine, I'll get it myself! Mirror: Knock knock. Patrick: Huh?  A knock knock joke!  Who's there? Mirror: You. Patrick and Mirror: I don't get it. Mirror: I'm you and you are me. Patrick and Mirror:  What have I become?! Patrick: Aaah, help! Monster! Monster!  Huh? Oh, it's, it's you!  Here, here, take it. I don't want it anymore. It's turned me into a monster. Starfish: Oh, I think I know what's going on here. Patrick, with great power comes great responsibility.  You haven't a clue what I just told you, do you? Patrick: No. Uh-uh. Starfish: Oh, just as well. I've come to take the crown back, as it seems that you aren't royalty after all. Patrick: Huh? Starfish:  I've discovered this coffee stain, which upon removal, reveals that Sir Gary is the true heir to the king's crown.","Well, would you look at that. Gary, you're royalty!"
"Gary:  Meow? Squidward: Mr. Krabs, some guy in a suit wants to come in before we open. Mr. Krabs: What? Guy in a suit? No, it's a tax collector!  Hide us, SpongeBob!  Now we'll walk nonchalantly to the rear exit. Squidward: He's got a card.  R.A. Penny Pincher: Vending Supplies. Mr. Krabs: What? My machine has arrived?! Oh, let 'em in, let 'em in, let 'em in! R.A. Penny Pincher: Bring it in, boys. Mr. Krabs: That's it, set her down easy. R.A. Penny Pincher: Here are the keys, Mr. Krabs.  Happy vending! Squidward: What is it? Mr. Krabs: Only the greatest money maker since the Krabby Patty.  Gentlemen, meet Skill Crane!",Ooh. Skill Crane.
"Mr. Krabs: At a quarter a pop, this thing will pay for itself in no time. Which reminds me, step up, boys. First one's free.","Thanks, Mr. Krabs."
"Squidward: No, thanks, I'll pass. Mr. Krabs: C'mon, Squidward, you know you want to. Squidward:  Okay, if you insist.  Thanks. Mr. Krabs: Squidward! In the machine! Squidward: All right, all right.  Oh, boy, what fun. Skill Crane: You lose! Squidward:  Did you see that, SpongeBob?! I almost got that on my first try! Mr. Krabs:  My work here is done. Squidward: They don't call me Squidward 'Manual Dexterity' Tentacles for nothing.","Well, why don't I give it a try?"
"Squidward: Haha, good luck. You'll… Skill Crane: Winner!",It's a bear! I'm gonna call you Beary.
"Squidward: Hmph, beginner's luck. Now it's the master's turn. Skill Crane: Loser!","Wow, Squidward, you flipped him over!  That takes an awful amount of skill."
"Squidward: Well, thank you for saying so.","Beary says he's getting lonely. Don't worry, Beary, I'll get you a friend."
Squidward: Ha! If you think you're winning that thing again… Skill Crane: Winner!,"There ya go, Beary."
"Squidward: Oh, I loosened that one up for you. You would've never won that without my skill.","Wow, thanks for your help, Squidward."
"Squidward: Hmph. I bet I win at this thing the very next time I try. Now all I have to do is… Mr. Krabs:  At a quarter a pop, this thing pays for itself in no time. Squidward: Ha! I'm not falling for that malarkey.","Hey, Squidward.  Hey, Squidward.  Hey, Squidward.  Okay, Mrs. Wiggles, order up. Beary cooked this one all by himself. Oh, he makes me so proud."
"Skill Crane:  Squid…ward.  Squid…ward. Squidward:  Oh, what the… Alright. Let's get this over with. Mr. Krabs: Need some change?  There ya are. Squidward: Gee, thanks. Mr. Krabs: No, no, Mr. Squidward. Thank you. Skill Crane: You lose. Mr. Krabs: Need some more change? Skill Crane: You lose! Mr. Krabs: Need some change? Squidward: No... Mr. Krabs: What? Why? Squidward:  Because... I'm... all... out... of...  MONEY!! Mr. Krabs: All out of…? Hmmm.  Boys, it's payday!","But, Mr. Krabs, today is Monday!"
"Mr. Krabs: What the... No. It's payday, me boy. Here's your check, SpongeBob.","Money, money, money, money, money!"
"Mr. Krabs: I took the liberty of turning your paycheck...  ...into quarters. Just in case you wanna... oh, I don't know, do laundry or  buy a soda or... something. Squidward: Very funny, Mr. Krabs. If I can't win one of those stupid things with this quarter, I'm walking away. Narrator:  Six hours later…","Pardon me, Squidward. SpongeBear, Jr. here wants me to win him a little brother."
Skill Crane: You are a winner! Squidward: Huh?,"Two in one quarter? That's not fair.  What's that, clown frown? Oh, you'd rather sit next to lovely lion?  There you are, nice and cozy. See ya later, Squidward."
"Squidward:  A little mind-numbing television ought to help me forget about that stupid machine.  Yeeowwww!  You've had a rough day, Squiddie. But that doesn't mean tomorrow won't be better.  Ooh, phooey!  I GOTTA WIN THAT CRANE!!  Just once! Please, oh, please, let me win one time!","Squid, I think you have a problem."
"Mr. Krabs: No, he doesn't. You don't listen to him, Squidward. You keep playing until you win!  What's this? Squidward: The deed to my house. Mr. Krabs: Okey-dokey, then. Carry on. Squidward:  If I can just win once, I'd never play again!","Hey, you want me to tell you the secret of how to win on this machine?"
Squidward:  SpongeBob! There's a secret?!?!,Mmhmm.
Squidward: Tell... me...  the... secret.,Are you ready to be a winner?
Squidward: Yes.,Yeah?
Squidward: Yeah!,Yes?
Squidward: Yes!,Yeah?
Squidward: Yeah!,Yes?
Squidward: SpongeBob! The secret?!,"Okay, Squidward, okay. I face the crane. Deposit my quarter. Then I close my eyes."
Squidward: Close your eyes?,"Quiet, Squidward. I'm being the crane."
"Squidward: Oh, that's ludi... Skill Crane: Winner!",See? Now you try.
"Squidward: This is ridiculous, if I close my eyes, how will I know where the...","Squidward, do you wanna win or not?"
"Squidward:  YES, YES, I DO!!!!!","Okay, Squidward, put your quarter in."
Squidward: But this is my last quarter.,"In the machine, Squidward."
"Squidward: Okay, okay.",Close your eyes.  Now be the crane.  Be the crane... be the crane... be the crane.
Skill Crane: Winner! Squidward: Whoo-hoo! Yeah! I knew I could do it!  I'm a winner!,You're a winner!
"Squidward: I am a winner, aren't I?  Winner, winner, winner!  Wiiiiiinner!  I'M A WINNER, EVERYBODY!!! YOU HEAR THAT!?!  I'm... a winner! Mr. Krabs: That's funny. Last I checked, you were a cashier. Squidward: Yuck it up all you want, Mr. Krabs. But just remember, you're yucking in the presence... of a winner!  HA! Mr. Krabs: I'll try to remember that.  3,498 of Squidward's quarters... 3,499 of Squidward's quarters.","Triple decker, on deck."
"Squidward:  Make way for the winner! Skill Crane: You lose! Squidward: You didn't win the prize? Billy: No... Squidward: You know what that means? Billy: No, what? Squidward: It means, you have no skills and you're a loser! HA! Hahahaha! I'm a winner, see my prize, you're a loser who sits and cries!  Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!  Did you see how I handled that crane?",I sure did.
Squidward: I think I had the magic touch.,Uh-huh.
Squidward: I just closed my eyes and became the crane.,"Oh, yeah, you're the man."
"Squidward: SpongeBob, look.","Uhh, Squidward, I don't think the same principles apply."
Squidward: Be the crane...,"Wait, Squidward!"
Squidward: Be the crane...,"He did it. Yay, Squidward!"
Squidward: Be the crane... be the crane... be the… Construction Worker: You know this guy?,"Yeah, that's Squidward. He's got the magic touch.  Ding.  Tada!  Ah! Squidward, open your eyes!"
"Squidward:  Oh, uhh, be the crane. Be the crane.  Look out, SpongeBob. I can't stop!  Be the crane. Be the crane. Be the crane. Okay, don't be the crane! Don't be the crane!! Mr. Krabs: What the? Squidward: Oh, my. Ohhh, my. Uhh... time to go, Teddy. Milt: Just where do you think you're going, crane master? Gerome: You ain't going anywhere.","Hang on, buddy. I got ya.  I guess I can only pick up toys."
Squidward:  Uh-oh!,"There it is! Grandma's house! What wonders await me today? Fresh-baked cookies? Story time? A sweater with love in every stitch? Aw, what am I waiting for?  Grandma, Grandma, Grandma!"
Grandma: SpongeBob!,"Hi, Grandma!"
"Grandma: Come in and sit for a while.  Have a cookie, SpongeBob!","Grandma, you make the best cookies in the deep blue sea.  Oh yeah...  Grandma's cookies..."
"Grandma: Now, who wants to lick the spoon?","Me, me, me!"
Grandma: ...and then we drove all the way home with all the windows down in the freezing cold.,Tell me another story about when I was a baby.  Three o'clock? I'm gonna be late for work!
"Grandma: Hop in my car, I'll drop you off.","Thanks, Grandma!"
"Grandma: SpongeBob, you forgot your kissy-kissy!","I sure did.  Bye, Grandma, thanks for the ride.  Thank you, Squidward.  Isn't this great? Everybody's in a good mood today."
"Squidward: I love bursting your bubble, SpongeBob, but they're laughing at you, not with you.",Did I do something funny?
Squidward: Your forehead.,My forehead is funny?
"Charlie: Hey, hey, Grandma's boy? Kissy-kissy-kissy!","No, you're wrong! There's nothing wrong with getting kisses from your grandma."
"Charlie: No, especially if you're a big baby who wears diapers!  And sucks his thumb, and plays with dolls, and, um...  ...wears pajamas with feet in 'em, and carries his, um... blankie around, and... Customers: All right already! Squidward: Cheer up, SpongeBob. I know someone who still likes you.","Really? You do, Squidward?"
"Squidward: Yeah, your grandma! All: HaHaHaHaHaHa!!!",STOOOOOP IIIIIIIIT!  I have been publicly humiliated for the last time!
"Patrick: I'm sorry that happened to you, SpongeBob.","Me, too."
Patrick: You're the most adult person I know.,"Thanks, Patrick."
"Patrick: You know how grandmas are, they love babies. You just can't act like a baby around her.","You're right, Patrick."
"Patrick: Have I ever not been right?  You're a man now, SpongeBob, and it's time you starting acting like one.","Yeah! Oh, but I'm not sure I know how."
"Patrick: Allow me to demonstrate. First, puff out your chest.  Now say, tax exemption!",Tax exemption!
"Patrick: Now, you must acquire a taste for free-form jazz.  ...Okay, SpongeBob, you're ready!  This is it. What are you gonna tell Grandma?",I'm a grown up!
"Patrick: No ifs, ands, or buts about it!",A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do!
Patrick: And then you get behind her and I'll push!,"Patrick, we didn't say that!!!"
"Patrick: Oh yeah, right.",All we need now is the icing on the maturity cake.  I've been growing these babies for years...!
"SpongeBob & Patrick: Sideburns! Grandma:  Oh, hello, SpongeBob. What a nice surprise. Come here and give your Granny her kissy-kissy.","Sorry, grandmother, but the kissing has to stop."
"Patrick: Tell her like it is, SpongeBob, no more baby stuff.","He is right, Grandmother. Kisses are for babies, which I am no longer. I have grown up. It is nature's way."
"Grandma: Oh, you are absolutely right.","I am? I mean, of course I am."
Grandma: You will definitely not be treated like a baby around here anymore ever again.,"I am glad you see it my way, grandmother."
"Grandma: Well, I'm glad that's settled.  But what am I going to do with all these fresh baked cookies?","Sorry, grandmother, we adults don't partake in the consumption of sweets, right, Pat...  ...rick?"
"Patrick: Keep 'em coming, Granny!",So much for no more baby stuff.
Grandma: And don't forget the cookie-eating hat!,"Hey, that's my cookie-eating hat! I mean it was when I was a baby."
"Grandma: Well, look who's here. It's my big old adult grandson.","Grandmother, I need to have a mature conversation with Mr. Patrick.   Patrick! What are you doing?! Cookies?! Warm milk?! A bib?!  Is that a kissy mark on your forehead?! We are supposed to be adults!"
"Grandma: Oh, oh, no roughhousing with a full tummy.  Who's the baby? Patrick: I'm the baby, I'm the baby, I'm the baby!  Being grown up is boring. I love being a baby. Besides, I don't get jazz.",Poor Patrick. I almost feel sorry for you.  Trapped in the awkward phase of diaper days... never to know the rich rewards of being a grownup.
"Grandma: Here's a fresh batch of cookies. Patrick: All right!  Rewards, huh?","Well, yeah, there's, eh...  well, let's see, we...  We went over the jazz..."
"Patrick: Oh, Grandma, I'm full. Grandma: More cookies!",It appears to be my lunch hour. Grownups have to eat to. I guess this will have to do.
"Grandma: Oh, you don't want this baby food. How about a big piece of steamed coral?","Oh yeah, uh... great.  Nutritious."
"Grandma: Storytime! Patrick: Oh, boy! Storytime, storytime, storytime!",Storytime?
"Grandma: You'll enjoy this, Patrick. It's a wonderful story about a magical sea leprechaun.  Oh, SpongeBob, you wouldn't be interested in this baby book.  Here's the technical manual on routine active maintenance.","Oh, uh... great. Yeah.  Fascinating. No pictures, just the way I like it."
"Patrick:  D'oh! My wittle finger! Grandma: Hold still, hold still.  All better? Patrick:  Sorta....  this finger hurts a little bit too. Grandma: How about I give you a present? Patrick: Oh, boy, I hope it's cookies!  ALRIGHT! Another hat! Grandma: No, Patrick, it's a sweater.",Huh?
Grandma: With love in every stitch.,"No...  Don't I get a present, Grandma?"
"Grandma: Oh, I almost forgot.  Here's some office supplies. I didn't wrap them. I knew you wouldn't mind.  Uh-oh, three o'clock, time for adults to go to work. Bye-bye, SpongeBob. I'll bet you'd fancy a nap, huh, Patrick?  You still here, SpongeBob?","Uh, I don't need to leave yet. I can be late for work."
"Grandma:  No, no, no, that wouldn't be the adult thing to do.","Alright, I guess I'll be going. I've, uh, got a lot of adult-type business to take care of, so, uh, I'll see yah later."
"Grandma: Okay, thanks for stopping by, SpongeBob.","Yep, that is it. Here I go."
Grandma: Come again if you get the chance.,"Out into the cold, grown-up world alone without a sweater."
Grandma: Toodleloo.,I don't know when I'll be back.
Grandma: I know how busy you are.,"So, uh... that's it."
"Grandma: Shh, he's asleep.",Soooo loooong...  I DON'T WANNA GROW UP!  I want cookies!  and milkie!  I want a sweater with love in the stitches!  I wanna wear diadies!  I wanna ride in my wagon!  I wanna cuddle-wuddle with Mister Stuffykins!  I wanna rocky-rock on my seahorsey!  And I want kissy-kissy on my boo-boo!
"Grandma: Take it easy, SpongeBob.  SpongeBob. SpongeBob!  You don't have to be a baby to get ol' Grandma's love.",I don't?
"Grandma: Of course not.  No matter how grown-up you get, you'll always be my little baby boo.  And remember, you can kiss your grandma and still be an adult.  Here you go.","Thanks, Grandma.  Uh, Grandma, could you not mention this to the guys down at the Krusty Krab?"
Grandma: No problem. Gary: Meow.,"Okay, Gare. I'll get out of your hair, buddy.  See you later, Gare.  Oh, you want to go for a walk. Sorry, buddy, I don't have time for a walk right now. Gotta get over the old job. You'll just have to stay here alone, little buddy. But I promise as soon as I get done we'll have fun… together. Okay… …Love you, Gare-bear. Bye. Poor little snail just wanted some fun time.  I can only image the tortured loneliness he must be feeling right now.  Welcome to the Kru-  Sorry, sir, but the Krusty Krab has a strict no pet policy. I'm afraid your worm will have to wait outside."
"Customer: Oh, I could never do that. He gets far too lonely and upset when he's left alone.  Sorry, buddy, I guess I can't buy you that Krabby Patty you wanted. Let's just go home. Mr. Krabs: Eh?  Hey, hey, hey. Let's not be hasty. Why didn't ya say you were buying your pet a Krabby Patty? Listen. Tell you what, for your troubles I'll give you two Krabby Patties at regular price.  SpongeBob, give this responsible pet owner two Krabby Patties.",Responsible pet owner. I leave Gary alone all by himself all day. I'd better call him just to be sure if he's okay.  Too distraught to even answer the phone.
"Phone:  Hello. You've reached SpongeBob and… C'mon Gary.  Meow.  Gary.  The two of us are having too much fun together to answer the phone right now. so, leave the massage and will call you right back. Not as long as we take a break and have fun… together!","My outgoing message is a lie.  Gary, are you there? Gary, it's SpongeBob. Just checking in. If you're there please pick up…"
Gary:,"Just hang in there, Gary, Daddy'll be home soon."
"Mr. Krabs: Well, well, well, SpongeBob SquarePants. I was just about to re-tar the parking lot. Why don't you come help me, boy?","Mr. Krabs, I'd really love to help, but I've got a lonely pet snail alone at home."
"Mr. Krabs: Oh, say no more. You go on home to your pet turtle or whatever.","Really, Mr. Krabs? You'd let me do that?"
"Mr. Krabs: Yeah, sure just come in five hours early tomorrow to finish up the parking lot.","You're the best, Mr. Krabs!  Poor Gary must have been left alone. How am I going to keep him happy when they're not alone while I'm at the Krusty Krab?"
"Timmy: Wow, Dad, is it really mine to keep? Fred: Sure, son. Now you have a furry friend to give your pet without getting lonely.  And now Daddy can go on his business trips guilt-free.","Maybe if I get Gary a pal he could play with, he wouldn't be so lonely while I'm at work."
"Timmy: Hey, thanks, Dad.",They're so precious!  SOLD! I'll take that one right there!
Store Owner: You wish to have one of my rare and extremely dangerous… huh?,"Oh yeah, this is the one."
"Store Owner: Beware, boy, this is no ordinary pet!","Oh, Gary's gonna be so happy!"
Store Owner: You must to understand. These pets can be very unstable. especially around other pets!,"Yeah, yeah, yeah, thanks, bye."
"Store Owner: Why bother? They never listen. Cowboy:  Sheriff, I've caught the bank robber.  There's your culprit right here. Now cuff him.","Hello, Gary!"
Gary:  Meow.,"I've brought you a surprise.  Your very own play pal.  His name is Puffy Fluffy and he'll keep you company while I'm at work. Oh, you two get to know each other. I'll be right back. Eat up, you two.  Gary! What happened to your manners? You be nice and share with Puffy Fluffy.  Come here, you.  There you go, Fluffy. Now eat up, I'm gonna go make some enchiladas. Done!  Oh, these enchiladas are hot, hot, hot!  Garold, it is not nice to ignore new friends.  Why don't you two play a little? That will help you bond.  Great, now my enchiladas are cold. Gary, what has gotten into you, boy, huh?!  Because you refuse to show the least bit of respect for our new friend, and because you have ruined my enchilada dinner, I have but no choice to put you to siesta early tonight.  I hope you're happy now."
Gary:  Meow.,"Good. Maybe you can extend that happiness your new friend.  Aww, look at you two so cute together."
Gary: Meooooooow.,"I accept your apology, Gary. Now, you be good to him. Good night. Ahh. I can rest so peacefully, now that Gary's got a good pal they could play with."
Gary:  Meow!,"Gary! Shame on you!  Puffy Fluffy is perfectly harmless.  See? There he is, fast asleep. Now will you let me sleep, Gary, please?  Good night."
Gary: Meow! Puffy Fluffy Monster: Rawr! Gary:  Meow! Gary: Mah!,"Mmmmm. You're making meatballs, Grandma? Time for dinner already?"
Gary: Phew.  Meow! Gary: Oooow! Mah! Gary: Mah!,"Better go check and see how my little buddies are getting along!  Hmm, that's interesting. Must have been a sea quake last night. Oh, well, what are you gonna do?  That's unusual. Whoa!  My library!  And my prized memoirs of T.S. Halibut!  My clothes!  This was no random sea quake. Who could have done this? There was no one here except for...  ...Gary. I bet he's jealous about the new friend.  Gary! You are in big trouble, mister!  Gary, Gary, unlock this door immediately. Gary, Gary, did you hear? Gary? All right, Gary, you have left me no choice! Gary!  You put Fluffy down right now! Bad boy, Gary!  Bad! Bad! Bad boy! Bad! Bad Gary! Bad!  I have told and told you and told you and told you and told you and... Oh, hello. Are you a friend of Fluffy?  What's goin' on? Okay, now this is starting to hurt."
Gary:  MEOW!,"This is exactly what I was talking about-- Fluffy! Fluffy, wait!  Well, Gary, what do you have to say for yourself? Ah, this is more like it. From now on, I'm taking you wherever I go. No more lonely days alone at home."
Mr. Krabs: What's that filthy animal doing in me kitchen?,"It's me, SpongeBob. I brought Gary along to help out."
"Mr. Krabs: Free... labor? Why didn't ya say so?  Serve ‘em up, snail! French Narrator: Well, well, what is this? Ah, the artist at sea. Let us watch and see the fruits of his struggle. Ah, it seems that inspiration has struck. Artist: Hmm... ah! Artist: My pencil!  What? No, no! French Narrator: The artist has learned the first lesson of the sea: Always bring a spare pencil. Artist: Noooooo!","Okay. Ready, Patrick? One..."
Patrick: Two... Both: Three!,"Scissors beats paper, Patrick!  One..."
Both: two...,"Three!  Patrick, how come you always do paper?"
"Patrick: What is that thing, SpongeBob?",It looks like a giant pencil!
Patrick: Go touch it!,"It is a giant pencil, Patrick!  Let's draw some giant pictures with it."
Patrick: Whatcha drawin'?,"Stand back, Patrick. I can't draw with you breathing down my neck."
"Patrick: Psshh, artists.",It's a jellyfish.
"Patrick: Pretty good, SpongeBob, but it's lacking basic construction, and your perspective leaves a lot to be desired.","Eh, everybody's a critic."
"Patrick: SpongeBob, your drawing's coming to life!","Now that's more like it, Mr. Critic."
"Patrick: No, I mean it's swimming away!","Do you know what this means, Patrick?"
Patrick: Your art can never hang in a museum.,It means we found a magic pencil!
Patrick: Now all I need is a magic mustache and all my dreams will have come true.,Coming right up!
"Patrick: Life is good!  Easy come, easy go... Squidward: Squidward, if you had some hair, you'd be the most gorgeous creature in the sea. You've got looks, talent, all you need is a full head of...  HAIR! Patrick: My turn!","Be careful, Patrick! Being an artist is a heavy responsibility. Each work of art is like a child and must be treated as such."
Patrick: Come on! I was just gonna draw a cartoon.,Okay! Why didn't you say so? Hey! Another jellyfish!
"Patrick: It's Squidward, silly!",It's kind of creepy looking when it moves.
"Patrick: You're right, SpongeBob.",We can't let it go into town!
Patrick: Poor Squidward.,Hey! My brain just hatched an idea.  This is gonna be classic!
Squidward:  I think I fancy a stroll around the park.,"Oh, Squidward!"
"Squidward:  What do you want? Hello, what's this? Someone left me money for a perm. Come to Hairy!  Ow! SpongeBob! Oh, my hair!  SpongeBob!","Wait! I've got another idea! This'll be the ultimate prank. I'll draw me, and when Squidward answers the door... it won't be me!  Aww, look at him. Ain't he a doll? All he needs is a tie.  Ready for action!"
Patrick: He's going to the door.,He's knockin' on the door. Squidward's answering the door... aaaaand...
"Squidward: OOH! OWW, OWW, OW! Patrick: He's beating up Squidward! Ha! Ha! Ha!","DoodleBoy, stop!"
Patrick: He's got the pencil.,What have I done? We've got to find him! Where could he possibly be?
Patrick: Maybe he's in that poorly drawn pineapple.,"Come on, let's go!"
Patrick: I'm not going in there,"Come on, Patrick. I'm right behind you. Baby steps. Almost there..."
"Patrick: What just happened? DoodleBob:  Meahoy, memoyay? Meyoyyoy, ladyonmamoy!","Come on, Patrick. Give me a boost up!"
Patrick: Can't we just stay down here where it's safe?,No way. I created this monster and I've got to stop him.
DoodleBob: Neofineyin!,"See what I mean, Patrick?"
"Patrick:  WHERE'S THE LEAK, MA'AM?  Yurrgh!","You okay, Patrick?"
Patrick: FINLAND! DoodleBob:  Meyaiovah! Mee hoy minoy! Meah froyay!,There he is.
"Patrick: He's hideous. He makes me sick, just looking at him. Those big bulgy eyes, that square body, those two buck teeth, and that stupid tie!",Uh... *ahem*.
"Patrick:  Oh... but it looks good on you, SpongeBob. Heh heh!","He's putting down the pencil. This is our chance. On the count of three, we'll jump out and surprise him."
"Patrick: Ooh, boy, a surprise party! Is it his birthday? DoodleBob:  Bawahh bwah bwah wahh!",Patrick!! Patrick! Do something!
Patrick: Happy Birthday! Patrick:  Here's your present.  You're welcome. DoodleBob:  Dewaaagheaugaaagh!,"Hold it right there, Doodle! I brought you into this world and now I'm gonna take you out. Any last words?"
DoodleBob:  EEDAHFAAWAHOBABOBBA!,"I'm sorry, what was that?"
DoodleBob:  Ee...DAh...Faawa...HobaBobba...,"Hold still, Doodle. This is for your own good.  Take that and this and this and that and this that this that...!  I AM SPONGEBOB, DESTROYER OF EVIL!"
Patrick: Take it easy. It's just a drawing.,"Well, that takes care of that, eh, Patrick?"
Patrick: Done and done.,"Gee, Gary, you should have been there! It sure was exciting, but you know, I kind of miss the little doodle. He was like a son to me. But I'm sure glad things are back to normal. Well, good night, sweet prince."
Gary:  Meeeoowww.,"Good night, magic pencil.  Oh, hey, Magic Pencil. What are you doing up? Drawing yourself a glass of water?   AAAAH! DOODLEBOB! Heh heh, no hard feelings, right?   What do you think you're doing, doodle?!"
DoodleBob: You Doodle! Me SpongeBob!  Huh?,"Be careful with that thing! Who knows what will happen?  I nose.  Very funny, doodle. Now it's my turn.  Well, Doodle, it looks like this is a draw.  You've made your point, no matter, I was voted most artistic in high school."
"Squidward:  Ow! SpongeBob, you're gonna pay for that!",Or maybe it was most clumsy.  Huh?  Paper!  Page for Mr. Doodle!
"Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob, what's with all the ruckus?","Take a look for yourself, Patrick."
Patrick:  It's the evil Doodle!,"No, no, not evil. He was just a two-dimensional creature lost in our three-dimensional aquatic world longing for a purpose."
Patrick: So... he's a drawing?,Exactly! See how happy he is?
Patrick:  He still looks kind of creepy.,"Oh, great Magic Pencil, your powers are too mighty for us ocean dwellers. So I will send you back to the magic kingdom from where you came. Are you ready, Patrick?"
"Squidward: Can you two be quiet?! Squidward: Didn't think so. What are you barnacle heads doing, anyway?","Patrick and I are practicing our favorite noises. Mine is a dolphin, laughing."
"Patrick: And my favorite is the plaintiff song of the blue whale. Ahem. Whale Businessman: Huh? Did you hear that? Fish Businessman: What's wrong, Frank? Frank:  That song. It sounds just like Martha! Fish Businessman: Frank, how many times do I have to tell you? Martha's no good for you! She's just no good! Squidward: Why would you want to practice such horrible sounds?",It's one of the activities in our favorite magazine.  Simple-Ton: A ton of simple things to do!
Squidward: It must very challenging for you!,"Oh, it is."
"Patrick: Yeah, and it made me look more smart-like.  What does the magazine say we should do next?","Well, let's take a look.  I think we've done everything in this issue. Oh, except for this one! The Best Friend Quiz! Do you really know your best friend? Oh, this should be easy. Patrick and I know everything about each other!"
"Squidward: Well, you two have fun with your mutual ignominious society. SpongeBob & Patrick: Bye, Squidward! Squidward:  Morons. SpongeBob & Patrick: Bye, again!","You go first, Patrick."
"Patrick: Oh, no. After you, old buddy.","Au contraire. After you, mon amie."
"Patrick: Please. After you, pal.","No, no, no, no, no. After you, bestest friend-  -Oof!"
Squidward:  Just pick one! And there's another three where that came from!,I'll go first.  Question 1: What is your best friend's favorite color? Hmmm.... I'm thinking........Aquamarine!
"Patrick: I hate to burst your bubble, but my favorite color is........ it is aquamarine. Sorry I doubted you.","No problem. Is your best friend right, or left-handed? The answer is right-handed."
Patrick:  How did you know?,"Simple, Patrick! It's because you're my best friend!"
Patrick: Aww!,Is your best friend's belly button have an innie or an outie?
Patrick:  No peeking!,"No need to peek, Patrick. I can do this with my eyes closed!  You haaaaaaaaaave..."
Patrick: Oh! What will his answer be? Squidward:  The suspense is killing me!,...an innie!
"Patrick: Well, let's just check that theory!  Innie!  Wow! How does he do it? Squidward:  Magic. Patrick: My turn! But, give me some hard questions. Not like those softballs you answered.",Okay! First question: What is your best friend's favorite color?
"Patrick: No, no! No hints!  Blue! No, clear! No!  That's not it. Hold on, hold on. 14.",The answer is...beige.
"Patrick: Oh, barnacles! Oh, I was so close.",Question 2: Is your best friend left-handed or right-handed?
"Patrick:  Oh, tricky, tricky. Hmm, right, or, left? Right-handed!","Sorry, Patrick, I'm ambidextrous!"
"Patrick: Oh, fish paste!","Next question: Does your best friend have an innie, or an outie belly button?"
"Patrick: Belly button, huh? Hmm. An innie!","Sorry, Patrick. I have an outie."
Patrick: Tartar sauce!,"Well, I'm sure you'll get the next one right! What is your best friend's favorite food?"
Patrick: Oh! Oh! I remember! Your favorite food is a chum burger!,No.
Patrick: I thought for sure I had that one.,"Okay, let's try an easy one. Is your best friend a boy or a girl?"
"Patrick: Ooh. That's a toughie.  Hmm. Rugged biceps.  Yet, delicate eyelashes. Pass!","Uh, last question!"
Patrick:  Ooh! This is for the win!,What shape is your best friend?
"Patrick: Oh! I got this one! Um, uh, can you repeat the question?","What shape is your best friend, SpongeBob SQUAREPANTS?"
"Patrick: Round, flat, uh, hexagon.",SQUARE-pants.
Patrick: Ooh! It's right on the tip of my tongue!,Five seconds.
"Patrick:  Um, um, oh, jeez, trapezoid, pentagon, mormorphis...",Time's up!
Patrick: Triangle!,"Uh, no."
"Squidward: Idiots, wrecking my boat. Squidward: So, who won your stupid quiz? Patrick: It was a tie.","Well it wasn’t a tie, but we had lots of fun."
"Squidward:  Let me see that.  a triangle?! Patrick didn't know anything about you!  And he's supposed to be your best friend? Patrick: I know, it's like we're not friends at all!","Now, now. Patrick may not have passed the quiz, but like a true best friend, he's always here for me. Right, Patrick?  Patrick?"
"Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob! I got you an ice cream.","Thank you, best friend, Patrick."
Patrick: It's your favorite! Dill Pickle Swirl with mustard and extra bacon bits!,"Patrick, this is your favorite ice cream. My favorite is, plain vanilla."
"Patrick: Oh, oh right.  Well, more ice cream for me! Patrick: Oh, can I borrow five bucks?","Here! Take your dirty, rotten money!  Ahhah! I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU ANYMORE!"
"Ice Cream Man: Hey, what's with him? Patrick: I guess he didn't want any ice cream. Gary: Meow-row.  Meow-row-row...","It just isn't fair!  Oh, who needs Patrick anyway?  Rest of my life, here I come!"
"Patrick: Oh, hey there, SpongeBob!","Be strong, be strong, be strong, be strong! Good afternoon, Mr. Star."
Patrick: See you later!,"Oh, Sandy! It was awful! Truly awful! We were like complete strangers!"
Sandy: You don't need to know everything about your best friend. That's what keeps the friendship interesting!,Really?
Sandy: Maybe you and Patrick just need some time apart.,Yeah! I'll have lots of fun without Patrick!
Sandy:  What a crybaby.,"I don't need Patrick! I can have a good time all by myself!  I can go jellyfishing!  Patrick and I used to go jellyfishing...I can play leapfrog!  I can blow bubbles!  Uh, maybe not."
Patrick:  Leedle leedle leedle lee!,"Oh, it's Patrick! I can't let him see me!"
Patrick: Leedle leedle lee!,"Well, he doesn't seem to be missing me at all."
Patrick: Leedle leedle lee!,"Nice that he's gotten over our friendship so quickly! Patrick works out at the gym?  And he's hanging out with Larry the Lobster? Maybe I don't know much about Patrick, either. Patrick's shopping for cookery? Very suspicious. Oh! He's coming back! Hold it right there, Patrick!"
"Larry the Lobster: Hi, SpongeBob. Patrick: We were just coming to see you.","Oh, I'll bet you were... to tell me about your new best friend, Larry, I suppose?!"
"Larry: Whoa, settle down, little dude. I don't want to get in the middle of, whatever this is. Patrick: Well Larry is a great guy, loads of talent, and good looks.","I know, he is pretty amazing..."
Patrick: He's not my best friend. He was just helping me buy a present.,Who for? Sandy?
"Patrick: No. For my REAL best friend, SpongeBob SquarePants.","Really?  For me? What is it?  Oh! I love it! You DO know me, best friend!"
Patrick:  I got a pair for me too!,"Oh, you're the bestest, best friend Patrick!  How do I look?"
"Patrick:  How should I know, mysterious stranger?! Plankton: Oh, come on, Karen, please! Karen: Well, if you must know... Plankton:  There's nothing wrong with Chum Bucket fare. Why, look! Here's a fresh batch of a delicious new chum sauce. It's called Spicy Chum Surprise.   Delectable! Karen:  Oh, I'm sure it'll be a huge success! Plankton: Sorry, no time for your senseless chatter. I've got a customer to attend to! Billy: Okay, so what about the Krabby Kola? Plankton: We don't serve Krabby Kola, we carry Bucket Bubbler and Chum Cherry Blast. Billy: Okay, well then, can I just make sure I get those Krabby Fries with extra Krabby Sauce? Plankton:  Ugh! How many times must I say it?! We don't carry Krabby Fries, we don't carry Krabby Kola, we don't carry Krabby Sauce, and we don't carry Krabby Patties! So, if you want any of those things, you're gonna have to go to the Krusty Krab, which is located directly across the street! Billy: Okay, thanks for the directions. Plankton:  Any time. What is wrong with people?! Honestly, I don't think anyone in Bikini Bottom would know a decent meal if it looked them right in the eye and said, Hello! I'm a decent meal, wonderful to meet you! Please pay money for me and then put me in your mouth so your old pal Plankton doesn't lose everything he's spent his entire life working for! Karen: Yeah, and if anyone ever did order one of your meals, it probably would look them in the eye. Plankton: You know, Karen, sometimes I wonder if you're here to help me run the Chum Bucket or just to make me feel like I'm two inches tall. Karen: Maybe in heels. If it wasn't for me, you probably wouldn't even remember to blink! Plankton: Oh, come on! When we first met, you were little more than a jumbled mass of diodes and wires. I made you what you are today!  Literally! So don't think you couldn't be replaced in a heartbeat! Ow! Karen: What's the matter? Plankton: My eye is burning and I don't know why! Karen: Blink. Plankton:  Oh yeah, thanks for reminding me. Now where was I!? Karen: You were threatening to replace me. Plankton: Oh yeah! I don't need you! I can make a whole army of computers that might actually help me steal the formula! Karen: Oh, puh-leeze. Plankton: I'll show you woman! Plankton: Oh, Karen! Karen: Now what!? Plankton: Could you come here for a moment? Karen: What do you want? Plankton: Feast your, uh, screen on this. Karen: That’s my replacement!? It’s a toaster! Plankton: Ha ha ha, that, my dear, is a T-119A Compumatic, the finest of its kind. T-119A Compumatic: Good morning, sir. Plankton: Good morning, T-119A! Plankton: They're supposed to do that.  Next, behold! The Noxious Enterprises Super SPU-31 Liquid-Cooled Mobile Processing Unit, a mind staggering combination of both power! And refinement. Karen:  That'll help you get the formula. Plankton: And now, Karen, the piece de resistance.  Have you ever witnessed such marvelous machinery? Karen: It sorta just looks like an old hair dryer taped to the back of a miniature windmill. Plankton: I can see how someone of your level of technical knowledge would think that, Karen, but in actuality what you are looking at is... oh, right. Karen: I don't recall you ever having reason to own a hair dryer, Plankton. Plankton: Okay, here we go! Are you going to make me get the picture down again!? Karen: What picture!? Plankton: You see! Plenty of reason to be using a hair dryer. Karen: Why are we even talking about this? Plankton: Because you were the one that said— Karen: What's going on!? Plankton: Dear Neptune! Plankton: Karen, do something! Quick! They're tearing each other apart! Just press a button or something! Plankton: Not that one! Karen: Well, it's good to see that that strategy didn't fall flat! Plankton: You know, Karen, with you around, I'm beginning to wonder how I'm still alive. Karen: Ohhh, so it's my fault is it? Plankton: That's right! Now it's all clear! It's you that's been holding me back! In fact, if it weren't for your constant stifling, I'd have the whole world running for the safety of their mommies! Karen: You and your crack team of robots, huh? Plankton: Well maybe I could iron out a few bugs, but then you'll see just how much I need you!  Karen? What's this?  It's words on paper. It says: Dear Plankton, I've logged onto another network. I just can't go into sleep mode at night knowing that you'll continue blaming me for all of your failures. Anyway, you're a grown single celled organism, and allowed to make your own syntax errors. Nice knowing you, Karen. Dah! who needs her!? Not me! I'm going to steal that Krabby Patty formula from Mr. Krabs once and for all. And then we'll see who's made the error.  Ow!  P.S., don't forget to blink. Oh yeah. Plankton: Okay, team, listen up. We're on our own now so we don't have anything holding us back. Now I know you all look upon me kindly since I am your creator, but the last thing the Chum Bucket needs is, if we're going to be victorious, is a bunch of soft, uh, software. Does everybody understand? Plankton: I said, does everybody understand!? Plankton: All right, then let's do this! T-119A to position!  SPU-31 to position! Command Module to position! Plankton: Heh heh heh. Now let's see Krabs stop this. I'll show him. I'll show them all! Perch Perkins: This just in, a diabolical albeit haphazardly thrown-together machine is attacking Bikini Bottom and is headed straight for the Krusty Krab! Squidward: Why is the local news always such rubbish!?","Hey, Squidward, look! I figured out how to get my mop wet without dipping it in the bucket."
"Squidward: SpongeBob, nobody cares about... Plankton: Hey! Krabs, I wanna see you. Mr. Krabs: Okay, boy, get out there.","Um... hello... what do you want robot thing, sir?  Oh, hey Plankton! What are you doing here?"
"Plankton: I'm here for the secret formula you twit! Now I want you to go in there and tell Krabs that if he doesn't turn over the formula to me, that he'll be subjected to utter annihilation at my... Are you getting this?","Uhhhhh, uuh uuh."
"Plankton: Uuhhhh, moron! Okay, I'll make it simple: Krabs give me secret formula or I bring big boom boom to Krusty Krab. Got it?",Krabs give me secret formula or... uhhh... what was that other thing?
Plankton:  Uhhh! Forget it!  Bring on the Boom Boom! Mr. Krabs: Battle stations men! Here he comes!,"We're all doomed, we're all doomed, we're all doomed, we're all doomed, doomed, doomed, doomed, doomed, doomed, we're all doomed, we're all doomed, we're all doomed, we're all doomed!"
"Squidward:  Later. Plankton: Hey, what gives? Plankton:  Oh curse you cruel fate. Once again, you've left me covered in the sticky goo of my own folly. Only this time, I'm all alone. Karen: Ahem. Plankton:  Karen! You've come back to me! Karen: Actually, I just came to get my keyboard. Plankton: Oh, I knew you couldn't stay away, I knew it! Karen:  Let me guess, another failure? Plankton: What you gonna do, machines these days, right? Umm, listen sweetie, I'm sorry about what I said. Truth is, I could never replace you honey-bunch. Lets go home hun? Karen:  Okay. Plankton: Hey, I could whip us up a little dinner, what do ya say? Karen: Do you want me to leave you again? Plankton: Or we could go out! That'd be fun too. Squidward: Ladies and gentlemen, behold my wondrous paintings! Nat: Um, excuse me, can I have some ketchup? Squidward: Hey, look at my arts you dummy! Mr. Krabs:  I don't know how you talked me into this art show, SpongeBob, but I'm shutting this thing down right now!","Aw, you can't, Mr. Krabs. Wait until Squidward sells some of his paintings."
"Squidward: Buy some important paintings. See me expose my exquisite suffering. Squidward: Hmph! These fools don't even recognize the masterworks in front of their faces. I'll confront them with the power of my art! Squidward: Witness the beauty! Larry: Come on, Larry! Get your salad on! Squidward: Come on, Larry! Get your art on! Larry:  Oh! My eyes! Ahh!  The pain! Orchid's son: I want a Krabby Meal! Squidward:  How about some art to go with that? Orchid's son: Ahh! Orchid:  Run, baby, run! Mr. Krabs: That's it! Squidward is scaring me customers away! I'm shuttin' this art show down! He's never gonna sell his paintings!",Sure he will!  I just bought one.
Mr. Krabs:  Holy shrimp! Why would you do that to yourself?,"What do you mean? I love it. Mr. Krabs, Squidward is our friend and his paintings are so cheap, you should buy one just to be nice."
Customer:  I'm good. Mr. Krabs: Nice? Nice? I don't waste my money on nice!,But think about how valuable these paintings might become.
Mr. Krabs: Valuable? What do you mean?,"When art gets older,  it usually gets more expensive.  Squidward's paintings might be worth millions someday."
Mr. Krabs: Millions?!  Out of me way! Here!  Gimme!  Give it here! This is mine now!,"Okay, Mr. Krabs!"
"Mr. Krabs:  Now, all I need to do is sit back and watch me art grow more valuable. Art Appraiser: I am a very important art appraiser and I say this so-called art will never be worth a penny. Mr. Krabs: Hey, Eugene H. Krabs does not— I'll lose money! There must be something I can do to make this art worth lots more cash! Art Appraiser:  Hmm... Squidward: I sold all my art? This tiny handful of coins has legitimized me!  Who wants the autograph of a real artiste? Art Appraiser: Well, paintings can become much more valuable when the artist is no longer with us. You know. Out of the picture. Mr. Krabs: Out of the picture, eh? I think I can arrange this. Squidward: Artist walking. Check me out. Mr. Krabs: Check this out.  I have a delivery for ya, Mr. Squidward. Squidward: What? You can't be serious. An artist such as myself should not be subject to such menial tasks.","Aw, don't be menial to Squidward, Mr. Krabs. I'll take the delivery."
"Mr. Krabs: No, Mr. Squidward is a real artist now and real artists can handle anything. Squidward: The arctic is so cold!  Come on, Squidward. You're a strong artist. You can do it!  No! Squidward:  SpongeBob?","Oh, hi, Squidward!"
"Squidward:  SpongeBob, what are you doing here?",Just getting some ice.  Fresh.  Need some help?  Whoa!
"Squidward: Here's your food. Arctic Sperm Whale: Hey, this is cold! Perfect!","Eeh, we'd better get you home."
"Mr. Krabs: Hello, is this the art appraiser? Just wanted to let you know that me good, good friend, Squidward, is now out of the pict—  Wh—wh—wh—What the seahorse?!  Got another delivery for you, Squidward!  And only Squidward!",Your eyes are so pretty.
"Bus Driver: Next  stop,  Rock  Bottom! Squidward:  237 Rock Bottom. Oh, there it is! Oh, remember, Squidward, real artists embrace the unknown.  Uh, is anyone here?  I've got a delivery from the Krusty  Krab! Squidward: Ahh!",What are we screaming about?
Squidward: Monsters!,"Oh, they're not monsters, Squidward. They're my friends."
"Angler Fish: What's  up,  SpongeBob? Ha. Mr. Krabs:  Yes, I'm sure that Mr. Squidward is out of the picture for good. He will be missed. So, come on over and tell old Krabs how much money me paintings are worth. Mr. Krabs: Ha, ha, ha, he-he, ha.  Squidward, delivery!","Ha, this tickles."
"Mr. Krabs: Follow me, Mr. Squidward. I've got a special delivery vehicle just for a great artist like yourself. Squidward: Well, that's more like it. Finally, some respect. Mr. Krabs: Into the rocket ya go! Squidward: Wait! Why do I need a rocket? Where is this delivery to? Mr. Krabs: Mars. Squidward: Oh, Mars. Well, the...M—M—M—M—M—Mars?!","Bye, Squidward!"
"Squidward: Delivery from the Krusty Krab. Martian: Mmm! Yummy, yummy! Squidward: Hmph. All this red. So garish. Ha, this dump needs a true artist touch. Martians: Huh? Mr. Krabs: So, now that Squidward definitely 100% is gone for good, what a shame, what do you think of these here paintings? Art Appraiser: Well, of course they're awful, but if the so-called artist is really out of the picture, then perhaps they're worth something. Mr. Krabs: Really?  Oh, it's so complicated. These are tears of joy, but they're also tears of sadness for my good friend, Squidward. Wherever he is.","Oh, here he is, Mr. Krabs!"
"Mr. Krabs: Stay here and keep an eye on me investments. Squidward:  Well, that was disgusting. So, who wants to talk about my use of color and brush stroke? Art Appraiser: Ahem!  Hmph! Mr. Krabs: I have done everything I could to get you away from here safely and now you're messing with me money!","Run, Squidward, run!"
Mr. Krabs: Hey! How about a little support here?,"Run, Mr. Krabs, run! But a little slower than Squidward."
French Narrator: 3 hours later...,"Psst, it's your best friend, SpongeBob."
"Squidward: Oh, get off of me!","I'll never get off of you, Squidward. Not until you're safe."
Squidward: I'll never be safe!  Not until my paintings are gone!,"No, Squidward! You can't deprive the world of your paintings!"
"Squidward: True, but it's better than depriving the world of me!","Come on, Squidward! Destroy those paintings before Mr. Krabs gets back!"
"Squidward: I...I can't do it! They're just too magnificent! Mr. Krabs: Hey, hey, hey! Get away from me paintings! Squidward: Oh, I'm sorry, paintings, but it's you or me! Art Appraiser: Yes, yes! Now, this is true art! Squidward: What? Really? Art Appraiser: So visceral! So dangerous! Squidward: Yes, feel my art! Mr. Krabs:  Leave me paintings alone, you monster! Art Appraiser: No! That was the most accelerating performance art I have ever seen! Mr. Krabs: Really? So, it must be worth millions! Hey, out of me way!","Mr. Krabs, uh, Squidward, I—I don't think you should be doing that."
"Squidward: Oh, don't be so provincial, SpongeBob! Mr. Krabs: Yeah, stop trying to censor our money! I mean our art! Art Appraiser:  Bravo! Bravo! Bravo! Mr. Krabs: Whoo, boy! Hee, hee! So, how much ya gonna give me for all this? Ha, ha. Art Appraiser: Nothing! Performance art is about the moment. You cannot put a price on it. Mr. Krabs: What? Wait, come back here, you double-crossin'—",D'oh! Mr. Krabs! Squidward!
Art Appraiser: Ah-ha! Art Appraiser: And that is how I acquired this masterpiece. Squidward: I'm an artist. Mr. Krabs: I'm rich.,And I helped.
"Nematodes: Walking, walking, walking, walking. Nematode #1: Hungry! Nematodes: Hungry, hungry, hungry, hungry. Nematode #1: Still hungry! Nematodes: Still hungry, still hungry, still hungry, still hungry. Fred: Naw, dang nematodes! Nematode #1: Thirsty! Nematodes: Thirsty, thirsty, thirsty, thirsty. Gary: Meow.","Hooray, Gary! We're finally huge!"
Gary: Meow.,Huh? Wait a minute! Oh no!
Gary: Meow!,Ow. Shell phone! I know. I'll call Squidward. He'll know what to do.
Squidward:  Hello?,Squidward!
Squidward: Is it time already for you to ruin my day?,"Squidward! Help me! My house is shrinking and I woke up this morning and it was getting smaller and smaller, The walls are closing in on me, Squidward, Gary is terrified too!  Oh no!"
"Squidward: Yep, it is. Patrick:  Is it time already to ruin Squid's day?  Hey, SpongeBob, don't start without me! Nematodes:",Ohh... nematodes.  The only thing left of my house is this little pebble.
Squidward: What's going on here?,"I've got bad news, guys! Look at what happened to my house! It's gone!  It's all gone. What am I going to do? Where am I going to live?"
"Squidward:  Yeah... Patrick:  Hey, SpongeBob, your house is gone! Squidward: Well, what can I say?  It's been great knowing you, SpongeBob. Good luck, somewhere else.   I'm gonna miss you. Boo-hoo. Boo-hoo.  Boo-hoo! Patrick: Squid's taking it real hard. So what are you gonna do now?",I guess I'll have to move back with my mom and dad.
"Patrick: No, wait a minute, no you don't.  We can build you a new house!",We can't build a house!
"Patrick: Well, sure, it's easy! I built my house all by myself!","Alright, Patrick, lets get to work!"
Patrick:  Ow! Ow! Ow! Patrick:  We're done!,Yeah! So what do you think?
Patrick:  I wish I lived there.,Really?
Patrick: No.,One bedroom.
Patrick: Tartar sauce.,"Well, looks like we've got to move back with Mom and Pop."
"Patrick: Well, you can't move back in with your parents! When my parents kicked me out of the house, I never went back. Wait! You and Gary can come stay with me!",That'd be great!
"Patrick: Yeah! We'll be rockmates!  Good night, SpongeBob.","Good night, rockmate."
Gary: Meow.,"Good night, Gary.  Oh...what the...?"
"Patrick:  Oh! A spiders! Spiders! Get 'em off me! Get 'em off me! Get 'em off! Get 'em off, off me! Off, off, off!","No, Patrick, no, Patrick, no, wake up! No, wake up! No, it's me! I'm SpongeBob!"
Patrick: Spiders! Spiders!  Spiders! Get 'em off me! Get 'em off me!,"Ow, ow, ow, oh, oh, ow, ow, ow, ow! Squidward? Squidward?"
Squidward:  H-h-huh?,Squidward?
Squidward:  Whoa. Huh? Wha-what?,"Squidward, could we stay here a couple of days or a month or two?"
"Squidward:  Uh, yeah, wha-wha-whatever.","Thanks. Thanks, Squidward.  Squidward, could you scoot over a little?"
"Squidward:  Uh, oh, yeah, sure.","While you're at it, could you get me a glass of water?"
"Squidward:  Okay. Hmmm, yeah, sure.","Yeah, this is a real swell place you got here.  Thanks, buddy."
Squidward:  Uh-huh. Y-you're welcome.,"Yeah, I like sleepovers."
"Squidward:  Yeah. Me, too.","Yep, this is great. Good night, Squidward."
"Squidward:  Good night, SpongeBob.   Good night, SpongeBob.  Tum-ta-dum! Today's the big day, Squidward! Don't wanna be late!  Gotta hurry! Hold it! Hold everything!  I would not want to miss this. The day SpongeBob moves! I can't believe it's really happening.","Don't worry, Squidward. I'll come visit you."
"Squidward: Don't try to cheer me up, SpongeBob.  Please.",Here come my parents.
"Mrs. SquarePants: SpongeBob! Hi, honey, we're here! Mr. SquarePants: Come on, SpongeBob, hurry, hurry, son, your mother has dinner waiting.","Hi, Mom."
"Squidward: Hello, Mrs. SquarePants! Let me help you with these bags.","Just give me a minute.  I cannot hold onto you any longer, little pebble.  You hold too many memories.  Well, Squidward, this is goodbye."
"Squidward: Goodbye, SpongeBob, goodbye.  Goodbye, SpongeBob. Bye-bye-bye. Goodbye, SpongeBob. Ha-ha. Goodbye, goodbye. Mrs. Squarepants: Come on, SpongeBob.","Goodbye, Patrick. Goodbye, Bikini Bottom."
"Squidward:  SpongeBob is leaving. He's leaving, he's leaving!  La, la, la, la, la, la, la ha ha ha ha!  He leaving, ha ha!  SpongeBob is leaving, he's leaving!","My house is back!  Aww! Good old pineapple! It was exactly where it used to be!  Aww, Squidward, isn't this great? I'm back forever!"
"Squidward:  Forever? Plankton:  And so passes another sleepless night, haunted by my inability to steal even a single Krabby Patty. Karen: Maybe today will be the day? Plankton: Thank you for your patronizing words, computer wife. Karen: Do you even have a plan? Plankton: Plan, shman. I'm going to wing it. What's the worst thing that could happen?  I'm in. That was easy. Maybe today is the day I'm going to steal the Krabby Patty formula...","Careful, Plankton, I just mopped there."
"Mr. Krabs:  Look at you, Plankton. Once again, you've fallen flat on your back in a pathetic attempt to steal me formula.  Though you've tried and tried, you haven't had the smallest nibble of my delicious formula.  And you never will!  How do you sleep at night, no wonder you're a complete failure? Charlie:  There really should be a Wet Floor sign. Nat Peterson: Yeah, if that were me who slipped, I'd sue old man Krabs for all he's got. Plankton: Does that include the Krabby Patty formula? Charlie: Of course. Plankton:  Oh, the pain! I can't feel my arms and legs! I think they're broken. I'll have to sue for my pain and suffering. Mr. Krabs:  Sue?! Female Customer #1: Oh, that looks bad. Dennis: Uh-oh. Nazz: Poor little man. Mr. Krabs: Wait! Hold up a second! Plankton, we don't need to drag this little incident into court, do we? Plankton: Well... if you transfer the Krabby Patty formula to me, I'll forget your gross negligence. Mr. Krabs: Scoundrel! You'll have me formula when you pry it from me lifeless claws! Plankton:  See you in court, Krabs! Uh, I mean...  Oh, the pain! The deep-frying pain! Mr. Krabs: I'm in a blue ruin. I'm doomed!","Don't worry, Mr. Krabs. I will do whatever it takes to keep the Krusty Krab formula from getting into Plankton's evil hands."
"Mr. Krabs: What I really need is a good lawyer. Richard: Hello, did somebody say lawyer?  Richard A. Bottomfeeder, Attorney at Law. I couldn't help but notice that despicable display. Mr. Krabs: So, uhh, how much is this going to cost me? Richard: Actually, I won't charge you a dime unless we win. Richard: In fact, I think we should counter sue for everything Plankton owns. Richard:  Does that happen a lot?","No, they're usually silver. Um, Mr. Krabs?"
"Mr. Krabs: What is it, lad?",I thought you might want to hear my testimony for when you call me as a character witness. I've been rehearsing it.
"Mr. Krabs: Actually, SpongeBob, we won't be needing any testimony from you. Why, you'll be more of a...  of a liability than an asset.",But I...
"Mr. Krabs: Ah, run along. Make things ship-shape for my victory celebration. I've got to get to the courthouse early. There's only a few free parking places. Richard: Oh, this is going to be a slam-dunk!",Oh no! Mr. Krabs' lawyer! Speak to me!
Richard:  Wracked...with pain...can't move.,But what about Mr. Krabs' case?
"Richard: Looks like you're going to have to handle this one, son.","But, I'm a...a liability."
Richard: Everything you need to win...  is in this here case.,Really? Everything?
Richard: Uh huh. Everything but a suit.,A suit? Wonder where I could get a suit.
"Plankton:  I'll give you one last chance. I'll drop the charges if you give me the formula. Mr. Krabs:  Never, you little runt! Plankton:  Oww, oww! My wittle arm! Mr. Krabs: What? No. I didn't lay a claw on him. Plankton: Oww! My other arm! Mr. Krabs: He's lying! Bah! Tom: Court will come to order. The Honorable Judge Stickleback presiding. Stickleback: Mr. Krabs, where is your attorney? Mr. Krabs:  I don't know where he could be.",Here I am!
"Stickleback: Thank you for joining us, Mr...uhh...","SpongeBob LawyerPants, your honor."
"Mr. Krabs:  What are you doing here, SpongeBob?","Your lawyer, umm, fell down on the job, but don't worry, Mr. Krabs, I have everything under control. It's uhh, all in here  ."
Mr. Krabs: Really?,"Yep, right in here."
Mr. Krabs: Is there a problem?,Umm... your lawyer didn't give me the combination.
"Lawyer: Is the plaintiff ready to proceed? Plankton: Yes, your honor. I'll try.  I wasn't always the tortured shell of a protozoa that writhes in pain before you today.  I... was a vibrant, carefree, happy-go-lucky, single cell. Mr. Krabs: Pull yourself together, boy. Plankton: Then came the fateful day that I paid an innocent visit to the deathtrap known as the Krusty Krab. Mr. Krabs: How's it coming, lad?","Don't worry, Mr. Krabs. I'm on the case."
"Plankton: Upon entering said establishment, I found myself without any warning, slipping and finally falling onto a hard, unforgiving floor  that had been intentionally  covered with a viscous fluid.",Bombs away!
Plankton: Ahem! Are you quite finished?,Mm-hmm.
Plankton: Now where was I? Oh yeah. But the worst part is...my dreams of completing a marathon like I promised my old Grammy have been dashed.  I'm...I'm sorry Gram-Gram! Sorry!  Thank you for your kind attention.  Suckers. Stickleback: Does the defense...  have an opening statement?,"Yes, your honor. Poor Gram-Gram!"
"Plankton:  Mr. Krabs, can you identify this item? Mr. Krabs: It's a wet floor sign. Plankton: Do you own one? Mr. Krabs: Uhh...well...umm...No, I don't.  No, no! You don't understand! I had to make some tough business decisions and the sign seemed... superfluous. Court Audience: Guilty. Guilty, guilty, guilty. Plankton: No more questions. Stickleback: Your witness, Mr. LawyerPants.",Huh?
"Stickleback: Sometime today, Mr. Pants.","May it please the court, ladies and gentlemen of the jury. My client has been called cheap , miserly and chronically tight-fisted. But, if he were as cheap as the prosecution claims he is, would he be able to sit there quietly, while I took out a dollar  and dropped it in the blender?"
"Mr. Krabs: No! No-no! No!  Daddy's got ya. Daddy's got ya. Daddy's here.  A little glue, a little tape. It'll be right as rain.  Daddy didn't forget ya. Stickleback: Does the defense have any witness to call?","Yes, your honor. Defense calls Squidward to the stand."
"Mr. Krabs:  Ahh, Squidward, a loyal employee.","Mr., uhh, Squidward, is it? My client has been called cheap. Would you agree with that ludicrous statement?"
Squidward: Yes. Mr. Krabs: What?!,Allow me to rephrase the question. Can you tell the court of some instance of Mr. Krabs' generosity in any way?
Squidward: Nope. Can I go now? One day off in three years and I have to spend it testifying? Mr. Krabs:  Must...open...case.,"So it was you who made the floor slippery, wasn't it? Answer the question!  Need I remind you that you, sir are under oath?"
"Mr. Krabs: I'm doomed. Mr. Krabs: You may as well give up on that case, me boy. My goose is cooked.","Mr. Krabs, I'm surprised at you! We can't give up just because things look bleak. This trial will be won by what's in your heart, not what's in this dumb old case.  It's open!"
Mr. Krabs: It's...  It's just his lunch. Or is it?,Defense calls Plankton to the stand. Why did you go into the Krusty Krab that day?
"Plankton: To, you know. Say hello to my once good friend, Mr. Krabs. What?","Are you sure it wasn't to make off with one of these?  Gotcha. Weren't you there to steal the formula of the most delicious, sweet smelling sandwich known to Bikini Bottom? Krabby Patty..."
"Plankton:  Uhh...uhh...uhh  I can't take it! Gimme! Gimme, gimme, gimme!  Yippee! Finally it's mine! Mr. Krabs:  I'll take that! Plankton: Huh? No, no, no! Mr. Krabs: Once again, Plankton, the sweetest of life's joys has eluded your grasp. Plankton: No, no, no, no! Stickleback:  Has the jury reached a verdict? Tom: We have, your honor. We find the defendant not guilty...but he is cheap. Mr. Krabs: Thank you, SpongeBob. I was foolish not to accept your help from the beginning.","That's okay, Mr. Krabs. I made you a present."
Mr. Krabs: A present? For me?,Close your eyes and hold out your hand.  It's a wet floor sign. I made it myself.
"Mr. Krabs: Well, it'll do. After all, it's free!",Order up!
"Mr. Krabs: How's it looking out there, boy?","Like two more satisfied regulars, Mr. K."
"Mr. Krabs: I ain't interested in same old regulars, SpongeBob! So I took out an ad in the Bikini Bottom Examiner to bring in some new customers! Twas a bargain too.  Only cost me a nickel. So tell me now, boy. How many new customers we got out there so far?","Oooh, let me see there was... none."
"Mr. Krabs: What?! What do you mean none? Don't these people read the paper?  Oooh, this thing hasn't been touched in months.  While that paper's selling like Krabby Patties. Uh, pardon me, sir. Could I interest you in a copy of the Examiner, this fine day? Nat: Ha! Nobody reads the Examiner, bud. It's all full of boring charts and facts!  The Bottomfeeder's where it's at! It's got like interesting stories and stuff. Mr. Krabs:  Fishboy Strikes Again?  Wait a minute, aren't these stories a little less than truthful? Nat: I don't know. But they're selling! Mr. Krabs: Yes, they certainly are.  Please, allow me. Abigail: Thank you! Mr. Krabs: No, thank you.  Now let's see how much they charge for advertising.  25¢ per word?! The newspaper business sure is easy money!  That gives me an idea!","What a fantabulastical day! Eh, Squiddy?"
"Squidward: Yep, another wonderful humdrum day slinging burgers. Mr. Krabs: Off of your duff, boy! You think I spent all last night assembling this printing press, so you could laze around all day? From now on you'll be twice as busy. And I expect you to wear 2 hats. 'Cause along with your usual fry cooking duties, you're my new lead reporter for the new Krabby Kronicle!",Oh! My very own press badge!
"Mr. Krabs: That's right, boy! And here's your very own camera! So you'll need it to document all them juicy stories you're gonna write. Now what are you waiting for, boy?","On the thirst for a juicy story, eh? Hmm, but what kind of story is juicy enough to quench their dry news gullets? I don't even know where to begin to look.  No news to report here. Stop the presses, it's Patrick! And he appears to be waiting for the bus! This is the kind of breaking story my readers are waiting for!  Patrick Star, I'm Scoop SquarePants from the Krabby Kronicle. Everyone's wondering, what bus are you taking today?"
"Patrick: Oh, I'm not taking a bus, SpongeBob. I am watching this pole. So the next time it moves, I will see it!","Whoa, this story is juicy!"
"Mr. Krabs: What a money-tastical day! Eh, Mr. Squidward? Squidward: Yeah, I'm just breaking it in. Mr. Krabs: I'm excited about all the newspaper sales, too. Squidward: We haven't sold any papers today. Mr. Krabs: What do you mean we haven't sold any newspapers? Certainly this gentlemen would like a copy of the Krabby Kronicle. Frank: Looks boring. Can I just have a Krabby Patty? Mr. Krabs: Too boring?  SpongeBob!  What's the meaning of this?!","Meaning of what, Mr. Krabs?"
"Mr. Krabs: Local Resident Watches Pole? No one's gonna pay to read this malarkey! When you write these stories, you've gotta use a little imagination, boy.",Imagination!
"Mr. Krabs: Yeah. Maybe instead of Man Watches Pole, you could say something like... oh... Man Marries Pole. Then you can alter the photo a little to fit the headline and, see?  Now that's a juicy story!","Mr. Krabs, isn't that lying?"
"Mr. Krabs: Don't think of it as lying, boy. Think of it as... uh... a practical joke. You know. Something everybody can have a good laugh about. The public expects a little embellishment here and there, so I want you to go out there, and get me a lead story that'll sell!",Mrs. Puff is going to laugh her hat off when she reads this!
"Mr. Krabs: Boating Teacher in High Speed Chase! I think you finally done it, boy! You've given me a story that'll sell! And sell it has!","Yeah, but that isn't the story I wrote."
"Mr. Krabs: That's called editorial privilege, son. It gives you that extra oomph to move units. Besides, how could such a little news story possibly affect Mrs. Puff in any way? Mrs. Puff: I can't believe such a little news story could have ruined my business!","Let's see what there is to see. Wait a minute. Larry the Lobster. Hmm, wonder what kind of dirt he has under those muscles.  Uh-huh, this looks shady, very shady."
"Frankie: Larry, hey, tough guy? Can I punch you in the gut? Larry: Sure. Everybody does. It won't hurt me a bit.  Told you it wouldn't hurt. Frankie: Thanks, big guy. Larry: See ya round.",Very interesting...
"Gym Teacher: Out! Out! Out! Larry: Hey, what's the big idea? Gym Teacher: This! Larry:  Larry the Loser Gets Beaten Up by Pipsqueak?  But, but, but... Gym Teacher:  No buts! I can't have a wimp like you destroying my gym's reputation! You're banned forever!","Hello, Larry."
"Larry: Not now, SpongeBob. Let me take in the fact that my life is ruined!",Ruined? What are you talking about?
"Larry: These lies someone wrote about me. Mr. Krabs: Thanks for your business, and here's your paper.","Mr. Krabs, can I have a word with you?"
"Mr. Krabs: Make it quick, boy. These papers are selling faster then we can print 'em!","That's exactly what I wanted to talk to you about, sir. I don't think these stories are doing anyone any good."
"Mr. Krabs: Well, they're certainly doing me some good.  Can you believe it? Look at all this loot!","Yeah, but isn't there a way we could write juicy stories without hurting people?"
"Mr. Krabs: Ah, you just don't get it, do you boy? We're not hurting anyone. We're just making their lives interesting for everybody else.  Now get out there and fetch another story! Plankton: Oh, Karen! I think this is it! The Chum Stick that's finally gonna drive Krabs out of business! Health Inspector: I think not. I'm Health Inspector Yellowtail. I'm officially closing down your restaurant. Plankton: Why? I haven't done anything. Health Inspector:  That's not what this says. Plankton:  Plankton's Chum Made of Your Chums? The Chum Bucket serves your friends in more ways than one?  What?!  Who's to blame for this? Who?! Mr. Krabs: You're reaching new levels of imagination, boy-o!","Yeah, I... I know."
"Mr. Krabs: What's wrong, boy? You sick or something?","Yes, Mr. Krabs, you could say that."
"Mr. Krabs: Don't be silly, boy! We're a success!","Mr. Krabs, we're hurting people!"
"Mr. Krabs: Oh, baloney! You better start feeling right! 'Cause if you don't, you can just kiss your spatular goodbye!","Mr. Krabs, you wouldn't!"
"Mr. Krabs: Oh, darn tootin' I would! Now get out there, and bring me a juicy one!","Aye-aye, sir."
"Sandy: Sorry, fellers, this is a private treedome. Dennis: I had no idea it talked. Don't worry, we're from the Neptunian Science Committee, and we've come to confiscate all your science awards. Haven't you read today's headlines? Sally: It can't even read. Why are you--? Sandy: Oh, gimme that!  Sandy Cheeks or Sandy Chump? Bushy tailed brainiac really a slow-witted squirrel, by... SpongeBob SquarePants?  That yellow sidewinder thinks he can do that to me?! Dennis: Oh boy... We better scram! The dumb ones are always the most violent! Mr. Krabs: You've really outdone yourself this time!","Mr. Krabs, I can't write these stories anymore."
"Mr. Krabs: Come on, that's a bunch of hooey!",I've seen people's lives ruined with my own eyes!
Mr. Krabs: People want wild juicy stories! That's what sells! Now I want your little yellow noggin to come up with the wildest story ever! One that'll top all the others!,"Gee, Mr. Krabs, I've written about everybody in town. Any ideas, sir?"
"Mr. Krabs: Surprise me! Give me a shocker!  Good night, boy. I'll check on you tomorrow morning. And remember, the wildest story ever!","Oh, the wildest story ever, huh?"
"Mr. Krabs: How's it going, lad?","Ah-ah-ah, it's a surprise."
"Mr. Krabs: Excellent! We're gonna sell out in no time! We'll have to do another printing.  Huh? Martha: Taskmaster! Mr. Krabs: What's going on? Martha: You should know! Mr. Krabs:  Krabs Overworks Employees? Reaps Reward? Krabby Kronicle mastermind behind bogus stories pays his tired, underage reporter pennies while he rakes in the dough?! Martha: How could you do that to such an innocent child?! That is sick and inhumane! Sandy: Not to mention the fact that he's written lies about us! Plankton: I lost my restaurant because of you! And I thought I was evil... Larry: All the kids in town want to beat me up for lunch money! Mrs. Puff: And I've had to go back to watching...  daytime television! Martha: Oh, that's it! We're taking our money back! Mr. Krabs: No!","Mr. Krabs, are you okay?"
"Mr. Krabs: How can I be okay when me money's gone?! All gone!  It just goes to show, trying to make an easy buck doesn't pay.  Or does it?  Get me some scissors, boy-o! It's time to use my imagination! Patrick:  Hey, guys. Could you fix me and the wife up a couple of Krabby Patties? French Narrator: Ahh, a happy pineapple under the sea. Let's take a peek inside, shall we? French Narrator: You will notice that the sponge is bored, because his best friend Patrick is away.","Ohh! Hmm... what's this? All alone? No one to talk to? Why not write to a total stranger? Connect with other Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy Pen Pals Today! Oh, I've never had a pen pal! Hmm... Dear Pen Pal, my name is SpongeBob SquarePants... Oh, that's great! I work at a restaurant. I love frying and I'm very good at it. Sincerely, your new best friend! Behold, the perfect letter! Now for the envelope. Gary, get off of that! You'll spoil my masterpiece!"
"Gary: Meow, meow. French Narrator: Uh-oh. It looks as if the domesticated snail has unintentionally deformed the word Frying. Making it look like the word Flying. This is probably going to be a problem later on.","Nah, it's just a little slime. Ah, perfect!"
French Narrator: 4 to 6 days later...,"Dear SpongeBob, Wow! You know how to fly? Fly? What does he mean by..."
French Narrator: See? What did I tell you?,"Gary, my pen pal thinks I can fly!"
Gary: Meow?,"Ha! What a silly misunderstanding. I can't believe I know a real life pilot! I wish I could watch you fly, because I am dying!  Dying?! Not Pen Pal! I don't want to let him down and say that I can't fly! 'Cause then, his dying wish will never come true!"
Priest: We're gathered here today to celebrate the life of Pen Pal. He died disappointed.,"Time to make Pen Pal's wish come true with a tiny white lie! Dearest Pen Pal, yes, I can fly! Boy, do I love flying! Fly, fly, fly, fly, fly!"
French Narrator: 4 to 6 more days later...,"Dear SpongeBob, I'll be at the Bikini Bottom Air Show tomorrow. Please meet me there so I can finally see you fly?!  Oh no! What have I done? What have I done? What have I done? I can't fly, Gary! I'm not a flier! I'm a liar!"
Gary: Meow.,"Good thinking, Gary.  Sandy will know just what to do."
"Sandy: What can I do ya for, SquarePants?","I did a bad thing, Sandy! I did a very bad thing!"
Sandy: Here. Take these. They're clean.,"No, no. It's not that. It's... it's... I lied!  I lied! I lied! I lied! I lied! I lied!"
"Sandy: Relax, SpongeBob. You're twitchin' like a prairie dog on a cow-skin rug.","Uh, what on a which?"
Sandy: What's got your behind a-buzzin'?,By who I've a where's in?
"Sandy:  What did you lie about, SpongeBob?","Well, there was this big misunderstanding and now my pen pal thinks I can fly! And I don't think I ever mean it, but now I have to! If he doesn't see me fly and I don't know how! If I don't fly, he'll die disappointed! I made a horrible mistake, Sandy! Please help!"
"Sandy: Well, it ain't no lie if you actually learn how to fly. And I can help you with that!",Really?
Sandy: Sure.,"Seatbelt, check. Controls, check."
"Sandy: Proper take off, check. How are ya doing in there?","Oh, I'm good. Oh, there's my house! Oop. I've forgot to feed Gary."
Gary: Meow.,"Oh, hi Gary."
"Sandy:  Failed. Alright, let's try that again! SpongeBob? Hmm? Sandy: Alright, SpongeBob. I tied ya up to a rope so you won't be able to go too far off course. Sandy: Contact!",I'm doing it! I'm actually doing it! Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo! Did I do it?
Sandy: Hmm. Good enough.,"Hey, you must be Pen Pal!"
Frail Fish:,"What an honor it is to finally meet you! Oh, you pretty, pretty pen pal you."
Frail Fish: Hmm?,"I just wanted to say that today... Today...  Today is the first day of the rest of your life. I promise to fly to the best of my ability just for you. Oh, I will not let you down."
Frail Fish:,"My heart is full too, Pen Pal.  My heart is full too."
"Frail Fish: Whew! That was a close one! What was that guy talking about? Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen! Boys and girls! Feast your eyes upon one daring, death-defying, the Polaris, the incredible, flying sponge!",Take off. Don't die. Fly a few seconds lower to the ground. Don't die. Slam. Don't die. So simple.
"Steve:  Steve's the name and scythes on the game! You need a scythe? Steve's got ya covered! One scythe fits all! Sandy: Get outta here, Steve! Steve:  Oh, I gotta say in it.","Sandy, I'm nervous. No, it's still not that."
"Sandy: Don't worry, SpongeBob. You'll be, uh, just fine. Yeah. Sandy: Get ready, boys! The bronco is loose! I repeat, the bronco is loose!","Just fine. Pen Pal, this one's for you. Whoo-hoo! I'm flying! Yee-haw!"
"Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob! I can't believe you can actually fly like you said in your letter!",Patrick? You're Pen Pal?
Patrick:  Duh!,But... but you said you were dying! You're not dying!
"Patrick: Dying? Oh, oh! You didn't read the whole letter!","See? It says, I wish I could watch you fly because I am dying!"
"Patrick:  And here's the second page! To see you as a real pilot, SpongeBob. Here are some other things I like to see: candy rain, a firetruck full of clowns, and... a bunch of other stuff.","It all makes sense now!  Oh, Patrick!"
"Patrick:  You thought I was dying! Patrick: Watch out! Patrick: Candy rain, check! Patrick: Firetruck clowns, check!","Excuse me, pardon me, pardon me, excuse me, excuse me, pardon me, pardon me, excuse me!"
"Passengers and crew: Heave-ho! Patrick: Fly first class, check!","Ah, something's wrong with the plane! Here, take the controls!"
"Patrick: Take what now? Perry: Match point, SpongeBob. Patrick: Whoo-hoo! Check and check!","Hey, Patrick. Who's flying the plane?!"
"Patrick: I am! Patrick: No, wait.",Hold on! We're going down! Whew! We ran out of gas.
"Patrick: Uh, don't worry! I've got this!  Yep! Patrick: Thanks for helping me finish my list, SpongeBob.","Patrick, it was my pleasure."
"Patrick: Really? Well, if you don't mind, I have a couple of other things I'd like to see.",Let's hear 'em.
"Patrick:  An edible balloon, a skateboarding snail, a tower of loose meat that tastes like ice cream, some ghosts... French Narrator: Ahh, another peaceful evening in Bikini Bottom. Listen to the tropical tranquility.  Uh-oh.","Two soups, please. Thank you.  You keep the change.  What?  I saw it! It was big! It was all wiggly! And it ate everything!"
Patrick: That's horrible!,It was an ALASKAN BULL WORM!!!
"Fred: He ate my wheelbarrow! Nancy Suzy Fish: He ate my children's homework! Unnamed Fish 3:  ...Do I need to say it? Unnamed Fish 4:  How can we protect ourselves? Mr. Krabs: I've got it! Let's all buy a Krabby Patty! Nat Peterson: We should lock our doors! Mable: We should call my nephew! Knight Fish: We should dig a moat! Patrick: We should take Bikini Bottom, and push it somewhere else! Squidward: That idea may just be crazy enough... TO GET US ALL KILLED! Patrick:  What's wrong with my idea? Fred: Let's get someone to go after it! Mr. Krabs: There ain't no one fool enough to take on an Alaskan Bull Worm! Unnamed Sailor: You got a bathroom in this place? Mr. Krabs:  In the back. Unnamed Sailor:  Thanks. Sandy:  I'll catch your worm for ya, that is if'n you're willin' ta pay. Mr. Krabs: NOOOO! YOU'LL NEVER GET A CENT OUT OF ME!  NEVER! I'D RATHER THAT WORM COME IN HERE RIGHT NOW AND EAT YOU ALL ALIVE!!!  ...Sorry. Sandy:  Aw, shucks. I don't want your money. I was just playing up the drama of the moment, is all.  Nope. I'm not gonna take that spineless critter down for nothing, 'cause this is personal. Look. My tail's gone!  Varmint must've got it while I had my back turned, the coward!  I am gonna get back what's mine!","What!?! But, Sandy, you don't know what you're up against! We're talking about an ALASKAN BULL WORM!!!"
"Sandy: Well, I don't know nothing about Alaska, but looky here.  Back in Texas I wrangled bulls, and I wrangled worms.  Far as I'm concerned, doing 'em both together just saves rope. Now I'm gonna go kick me some worm tail! Yee-haw!","But, Sandy, you don't know!"
"Sandy: Don't worry, SpongeBob. I won't be long.",Sandy! Sandy!
"Mr. Krabs:  Go get 'em, Sandy! We have the utmost confidence in you!  Now, what was that idea of yours? Patrick: PUSH!!!!",Wait! Sandy!
"Sandy: Hey, SpongeBob, you coming to watch?","Sandy, don't go!"
Sandy: Why not?,"Sandy, I saw it! It's BIG, SCARY AND PINK!"
"Sandy: So's Patrick's belly button, but I ain't afraid of that, neither.",You'll get massacred!
"Sandy: SpongeBob, I'm from Texas. What you think is big and what I think is big are two totally different bigs. Besides, he's got my tail. I can't take that sitting down.","Okay, but what if the worm didn't take your tail?"
"Sandy: If that worm ain't got my tail, who does?","Um, I do?"
Sandy: You do? Where?,Um... in my pocket.
"Sandy: Well, why didn't you just say so? Give it here! Come on!  SpongeBob, that's a paper clip... and a piece of string.","No, it's not, this is your tail."
Sandy:  SpongeBob!,"HOW WOULD YOU KNOW!? IT'S ALWAYS BEHIND YOU! Oh, don't go, don't go, don't go!"
"Sandy:  SpongeBob, what is the matter with you? Now, I'm gonna go give that legless rascal what-for... and there ain't nothin' you can say to stop me!","Oh, yeah? What if I said... 'blargen fedibble no-hip'?"
"Sandy:  Well, I gotta admit, that's slowing me down, but I'm still going for him!","You know, tails are so overrated. Let's just forget about it and go home.  I've got ice cream! With nuts...  Sandy, this is your pappy speaking, and I forbid you to go after this worm! Y'all come back here, young lady!"
Sandy: You ain't my pa!,"Sandy, if you want to get to that worm, you're gonna have to go through me!  Sandy, no! I can't let you! I'm not gonna let you get killed. If you find him, you'll get eaten for sure!"
Sandy: Ain't no way some dumb old sea worm's gonna make a meal of me. I'm too Texas tough!,"No, not tough enough. Not tough enough!"
"Sandy: SpongeBob, quit your worrying. I can take care of myself. After all, who's the strongest critter in Bikini Bottom?",You are.
"Sandy: And who put the hi-yah, hi, ho, K in karate?",You did.
Sandy: And who saves your yellow backside from certain destruction on a regular basis?,You do.
"Sandy: Right. And I can handle your little bull worm too, 'cause I am the best there is! There ain't nothin' too big or too ornery for me to catch.",Okay.
Sandy: Say it.,There isn't anything...
Sandy: Ain't nothin'!,Ain't nothin'  too big or too ornery for you to catch. But...  But...  And...  We...  I...  Yeah but...
Sandy: No!,You see...
Sandy: No!,I...
Sandy:  Worm sign.  He's in that cave.,"Sandy, are you sure you...?"
"Sandy: Course I am! I'm going in, and I ain't coming out 'til I got me a big heaping plate of worm stew.  Aha! There you are, you tail-nabbin' varmint! Hi-yah!  I'm winnin', SpongeBob!","Sandy, that's not...!"
Sandy: This shouldn't take long.,"Sandy, that's not...!"
Sandy: Almost done!,Sandy!
"Sandy: Yee-haw!  I got him, SpongeBob!",Sandy...?
"Sandy: Boy, howdy. This critter put up some sort of fight. But I'm from Texas, and as you can see, no worm is a match for me. I even found my tail!",That's not the worm.
Sandy:  Pardon?,That's not the worm. That's his tongue!
"Sandy: ...Ohhhh, this is the tongue. And the whole thing is the... worm.  RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!","So what's the plan, Sandy?"
Sandy: Run faster!,"I could've thought of that. Hey, wait a minute! I was right, wasn't I?!"
Sandy: Later!,"Ah, he is too big for you, isn't he?"
"Sandy: Not now, SpongeBob!",I wanna hear you say it!
Sandy: Can we talk about this another time?,Say it!
Sandy: SpongeBob!,"Say it, or I'll trip you!"
Sandy: No!,Say it!
Sandy: Not now!,Say it!
"Sandy: Okay! You were right, and I was wrong. I was wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong! Are you happy now?",I knew it.
Unnamed Fish 3: Not again!,"Uh, Sandy?"
Sandy: Yeah?,What do we do now?
"Sandy:  I've got it! SpongeBob, you still got that paper clip and that string?","I'm way ahead of you, Sandy.  Look, it's a necklace! S for SpongeBob or S for Sandy! That way they can identify our bodies!"
"Sandy: No, silly! How about S for save our skins?  Yee-haw! Now this is what I call a rodeo! We'll be nice and safe up here!  We did it!",Yay! He'll never get out of there!
Sandy: We saved the town!,Yay! Let's go tell everybody!
Patrick: PUSH!!!!  PUSH!!!! Citizens: Hooray! Worm: Ouuuuuch...,Easy...  Perfection!
"Squidward: Is number 5's order ready yet, SpongeBob?","Just a second, Squidward. Well, Krabby Patty, it's time for you to go now.  You grew up so fast, I...  Oh, I promised myself I wouldn't do this.  Just take it Squidward, take it away."
"Squidward: Oh, brother.  Number 5. Number 5!","That's me!  Mmm. My compliments to the chef!  Hello, what's this?"
"Mr. Krabs: Come out here, boy.",Mr. Krabs?
"Mr. Krabs:  Hush boy, or you'll give away the location of me hidey-hole.",What's a hidey-hole?
"Mr. Krabs: It's where I hide me treasure.  Catch!  Let's get that chest to the office, boy, pronto!",What's in this thing? Treasure?
Mr. Krabs: A treasure trove of sorts. It's me memory chest from my years in the navy.,"Why'd you dig up your navy chest, sir?"
"Mr. Krabs: Well, my navy buddies and I are having a reunion. And I wanted to wear me old uniform.","Wow, look at all your cool navy stuff! What's that?"
Mr. Krabs: Arrgh!  It's me first tattoo.,Neat.
Mr. Krabs: And this is me 'Manly Toughness Trophy'.,How'd you win that?
Mr. Krabs: By being the toughest of the tough!,Wow! Oh-oh. Who are those guys?
"Mr. Krabs: Me shipmates. The toughest bunch to ever sail the briny deep. There's 'Ol Iron Eye, , and Mutton Chop, , me, , Torpedo Belly, , and Lockjaw Jones.","Did you have a cool nickname, Mr. Krabs?"
Mr. Krabs: Of course! I was called Armor Abs Krabs.,You were?
Mr. Krabs: What do you mean?,"Well, I guess you were thinner back then."
"Mr. Krabs: Oh, really?  This is me navy cadet uniform. Prepare to eat your words 'cause I haven't put on more than a couple of pounds.  Ok, maybe I'm a bit bigger. But I'm still the toughest of the tough. Go ahead, lad, give em a punch.",You want me to punch you in the stomach?
Mr. Krabs: Not in the stomach! In me armor abs!,"wow, my entire arm disintegrated."
Mr. Krabs: I still got it. Now be a good lad and go get your station in ship shape. And leave an old sea-dog to revel in his memories.,"Aye, aye, sir!  Alright, let's get this place ship shape. You men, stop laying around!  To battle stations.  All hands on deck!  Set course for full flavor.  Ketchup and mustard off the port bow.  One Krabby Patty ready to set sail."
Mr. Krabs: No!,Mr. Krabs.  Hello? Mr. Krabs?  You alright? Are you sleepy?  Mr. Krabs!  I don't smell his pulse.  What's that?  Is somebody there?
Mr. Krabs: Don't look at me! Leave me be!,You're alive! And naked...
Mr. Krabs:  It's true. I've molted.,What's molted?
"Mr. Krabs: It's when a crab gets too fat- um, er, outgrows his shell. It falls off!",Wow.
Mr. Krabs: 'Armor Abs Krabs' can't show up at the reunion like this. All pink and soft and unmanly. I'm all flab and no ab!,Barnacles!
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob!,"Sorry about the foul language, Mr. Krabs, but you're acting like there never was a man in that shell. The Krabs of his navy days was fearless. He wouldn't let something as insignificant as a missing shell slow him down."
Mr. Krabs: Yeah.,"Who cares how silly, pink & fleshy you look. How non-threatening, limp & soft you are. How...  ...oops."
"Mr. Krabs: I can't go anywhere ever again. Stupid, no good...","Wow, it sure is dark in here.  Look, Mr. Krabs, I'm you!"
"Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, you're a genius.","Well, I'm glad you got my point. It's not about what's on the outside. It's what's on the in..."
"Mr. Krabs: No, you barnacle brain. Not your silly metaphor. You, in me shell. It gives me an idea. You can go to the reunion and pretend to be me.",I get to be a navy buddy?
"Mr. Krabs: Course, you'll need some time to approximate me personality.","Oh, that'll be a snap. Squidward and I have been doing it behind your back for years."
"Mr. Krabs: Alright, show me what you got.","Look at me, I'm Mr Krabs. I love money."
"Mr. Krabs: Heh heh, say that ain't half-bad.",I once won a marathon because someone dropped a penny at the finish line.
Mr. Krabs: That's me.,"Every night, I tuck me wallet in and tell it a bedtime story.  Goodnight, wallety."
"Mr. Krabs: Yeah, okay, I get the point.","Oh, what's that you say? Me daughter, Pearl, needs an operation? I'll do it me self and save a nickel."
"Mr. Krabs: That'll do, SpongeBob.","Well, here goes...wow. I've never seen so many manly naval men. So tough, so brave, so...clever. And I'm one of them!"
"Mr. Krabs:  No you're not. Don't blow this for me, SpongeBob.","I won't let you down, sir."
Mutton Chop: Armor Abs Krabs. Come join your navy buddies in a toast.,Coming!
"Mr. Krabs: Oh, what have I done?","Okay, boys, let the SS Party drop anchor right here."
"Mr. Krabs: I've created a monster. Lockjaw Jones: Here's some grog. You still like pineapple, right?",Like pineapple? I live in one.
"Torpedo Belly: That Ol' Krabs is manly as ever. Mr. Krabs: I don't believe it. SpongeBob is pulling it off. Mutton Chop: Hey, Armor Abs, Ol' Iron Eye here has been itching to punch your legendary gut.","Well, if you think you're man enough."
"Mr. Krabs: Uh-oh, this could be bad.",Fire the torpedoes.
"Mutton Chop: What do you say, Krabs? Just like old times. Lockjaw Jones: A tooth. Torpedo Belly: Teeth. Now, that's manly. Mr. Krabs: He did it. Captain: Alright, me swabbys, it's time to award the trophy of manly toughness. To a man who's toughness has stewed the test of time. And that man is: Eugene Armor Abs Krabs! Come up here , Krabs. Mr. Krabs: This is the best night of my life. Me naval buddies still think I'm manly. And I didn't have to shed myself. Naval Buddies: Armor Abs! Armor Abs! Armor Abs!","Thanks for the trophy, everybody."
Naval Buddies: Speech! Speech! Speech! Speech!,I...uhh...
Mr. Krabs: Say something.,Let me spin you a manly yarn.
Mr. Krabs: 'Atta boy.,"So there I was, in Jellyfish Fields."
Mr. Krabs: I'm doomed.,Me supply of bubble soap was dangerously low. And as I blew my last bubble...
"Mutton Chop: Did he say Jellyfish Fields? Iron Eye: Blowing bubbles? Mutton Chop: Uhh, what were you doing in Jellyfish Fields?","Why, jellyfishing, of course."
Naval Buddies: Huh? Mr. Krabs: Phone call for Mr. Krabs!   Get off the stage.,"Oh, well, I gotta go. Uhh, thanks."
"Torpedo Belly: Where do you think you're going? Everybody knows there's two things Ol' Armor Abs Krabs would never do. Mr. Krabs: Oh no. Lockjaw Jones: Number one, is spend a penny. Torpedo Belly: And the other one, is leave without giving Ol' Torpedo Belly one of your world famous steely belly butts. Haha","Oh, I thought you'd see through my ruse. I mean,  arr, you don't think I was just gonna collect this here trophy of manly toughness without reminding you silly livers why you give it to me in the first place. Let's have it. No holding back. Give it your all."
Mr. Krabs: I can't watch. Torpedo Belly: Armor Abs?,"Well, uhh, I-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i, I guess I'll take my manly toughness trophy and head home now. See you around manville, boys, uhh, men."
"Mr. Krabs: No! He's not Eugene Krabs. I am.  Alright, lads, take a good look. This is who I am. I've molted me shell and I'm vulnerable.  But I'm certainly no bubble-blowing jellyfisher. No offense, SpongeBob.","None taken, Mr. Krabs."
"Mr. Krabs: C'mon, lad, let's go home. Mutton Chop: Wait a minute! You've forgotten something. Mr. Krabs: I don't understand. Mutton Chop: Admitting you lost your shell is the toughest thing I've ever seen. And, uhh, I have a confession.  These are fake! Torpedo Belly: Over here. Mr. Krabs: You, too, Torpedo Belly? Torpedo Belly: Actually, I had my torpedo removed long ago. Lockjaw Jones: And these aren't the same choppers that I had in the navy. Iron Eye: My iron eye is actually made of Formica.","Look at that, Mr. Krabs. Your navy buddies all had something to hide."
"Mr. Krabs: Yeah, poor suckers. At least my shell will grow back.","Mr. Krabs, what 'cha doin'?"
"Mr. Krabs: Oh ahoy, SpongeBob! I was just using some old toothpaste I found to patch up this small hole in the wall. Squidward:  Good thing you didn't hire a professional to do that. Mr. Krabs: And why is that, Mr. Squidward? Squidward: Because then you'd only get to repair it once.","So, what flavor is it?"
"Mr. Krabs: It-it-it's just a hole in the wall, boy. It doesn't have a flavor.","No, I mean the toothpaste!"
Mr. Krabs: Oh. Well I think it's...,"Hey, look Mr. Krabs! That small hole in the wall just became a medium-sized hole in the wall!"
"Squidward: Time to get out the dental floss. Ha! Boy 1: Thanks again for taking us to the Krusty Krab, dad. Boy 2: Yeah. Mom never brings us here! Frank: Ha. Any time kids.  What the?",Careful now...
"Frank: Hey, you guys put in a drive thru! Mr. Krabs:  We did? Frank: Great, I'll have three large Krabby Patties, Krabby Fries, a Krabby Cola, and two extra large orders of Krabby Rings.  Is this toothpaste? Mr. Krabs:  Boy, I don't know how I think think of this stuff, but I think I got a winner! We are putting in a drive thru!",A drive--- whoa!
"Squidward: Sounds like a lot of extra work to me. Mr. Krabs: You mean for you. Squidward:  It'll cost you money. Mr. Krabs: Oh nonsense, we'll build it for free!","Hi, Mr. Krabs."
"Mr. Krabs: Ahoy, SpongeBob. What's with all the booty?","I got this microphone system so we can hear what the customers order, this neat sign with a menu on it, and this colorful arrow so they know where to go. It even lights up, see?"
"Mr. Krabs: Well, that's great SpongeBob, but I already got a bunch of stuff that's better: A menu board made with old napkins and packing tape, a microphone I made with some rusty tin cans I found, and this sign... I made from an old noodle.","I don't get it, Mr. Krabs. How is this stuff better than the things I bought?"
"Mr. Krabs:  I'm sorry, what?",How is this stuff better?
"Mr. Krabs: Because it was...  Free! Frankie Billy:  I'll have a medium fries, a large Krabby Patty,  and a medium drink. Squidward: Comin' right up, sir.  SpongeBob, I need a medium fries, a large Krabby Patty, and a medium drink.","I'll have that ready in two shakes in a lamprey's tail!  That oughta' fix it!  Thank you, come again."
"Mr. Krabs:  Yes, you like it here, don't you?  Can I help you?  A bill?! What's this for? Frankie Billy: It's for my dry cleaning. It seems as though your new drive-through window is a little on the challenge side.  Size-wise, I mean. Mr. Krabs:  There, problem solved! French Narrator:  Meanwhile... Squidward:  SpongeBob, two large, two medium. I hate my job. Dale:  Excuse me? I'd like to place an order please. Mr. Krabs: Ahoy, Squidward. Squidward: Mr. Krabs, I am getting really tired of running back and forth. I find it both exhausting and time consuming. Mr. Krabs: Squidward:  Oh, wonderful. Peachy... Now how am I supposed to get to SpongeBob so I can hand him these order tickets here? Mr. Krabs:  Problem solved!",Squidward! Hi!
"Squidward: Oh it's days like this that make me wish I had gone to college. Plankton:  Now I'll be able to get a Krabby Patty the simplest way possible:  By ordering one!  Ahem! I would like to order one Krabby Patty please! Uh, extra secret formula!  Hello?! Is this stupid thing on?! Mr. Krabs: Mr. Squidward! Any customers? Squidward: None that I can hear. Mr. Krabs:  Oh! Here comes one now! Plankton:  Hey. Hey! Go around! Go around! Old man: Large Krabby Patty with fries please. Squidward:  With fries. Got it. We'll have that right out to you sir. Old Man: What? You're closed?! Now she tells me... Squidward:  There you are sir. The ketchup's in the b--  What? Did somebody order a Krabby Patty?  Nobody, huh? Okay, I'll just toss it in the trash. French Narrator:  Later... Pearl:  I sure am in a jovial mood! How about you guys? Girl 1: You bet, Pearl! Girl 2: Oh, I'm feeling especially jovial. You know, being a teenager and all! Squidward:  Welcome to the Krusty Krab drive thru. Can I take your order? Pearl: Hey, you guys. It sounds like that weird guy Squidward. What do you say we play a prank on him? Girl 2: Ooh! Sounds like a great idea to me! Being a teenager and all!  Two large Krabby Patties, please!  With fries! Squidward:  Owwwww! I'm not faking it you know. That really hurt. A lot. Mr. Krabs:  A bill?! And what is this for? Squidward:  It's for my ear-replacement surgery! We need a real microphone and speaker! Mr. Krabs: You have any idea how much a real microphone and speaker cost?! Squidward: How much? Mr. Krabs: Well... they cost as much as... as uh... as a... real microphone and... speaker. French Narrator:  Just then. Larry:  Whoa, whoa. Woopsie! Mr. Krabs:  Hey! You delinquent! Squidward: Now you'll have to replace it. Mr. Krabs: Replace what? Squidward: The microphone! Mr. Krabs: What do I look like, I'm made out of tin cans? Squidward: No, but that pile of tin cans over there is. Mr. Krabs: Good thing we got you around to always point out the obvious. Squidward: Good thing you're around to never notice the obvious! Larry:  Sorry about that, dude. Mr. Krabs: Well, that's nice!  I'm still billing you for the damages!",One Krabby Meal! To go!
Larry: Hand it on up here!,"Sure thing, Larry!"
"Larry: Come on, bro! You can do it!  Or maybe not.","Mr. Krabs, I'm concerned."
"Mr. Krabs: Oh? Why, SpongeBob?",Because I can't reach the window of Larry the Lobster's S.U.B.!
"Mr. Krabs: Yeah... Well there's a solution to every problem!  There! Problem solved!  Hey! What's all the ruckourous about!? Whoa... Millie: Hey! What's the hold up?! Man 1: How long you gonna make us wait?! Man 2: We're waiting here for hours! Harold: We're still waiting... in our driveway! Mr. Krabs: Squidward! There's a line of customers out there a million miles long! Squidward:  That's nice.  That's interesting. Mr. Krabs: I guess I'll be retiring early after all! Policeman: Mr. Eugene Krabs? Mr. Krabs: Yes?  What? Is this a-a-a ticket?! Policeman: A ticket?  Now why would I write you a ticket? Huh? Oh, I know! How about for turning the whole town into a parking lot?! Mr. Krabs: Ah! But officer! I a... I a... Listen! Policeman: Relax man, that's just my order. I want two Krabby Patties and Kelp Fries to go!  I don't wait in lines! Mr. Krabs: Oh sure! Right! Phew!  SpongeBob, can you get the kind officer two-","-Krabby Patties and Kelp Fries to go, sir? Anything for our boys in blue!"
"Mr. Krabs:  There you go, officer! And thanks for being so understanding! If you know what I mean? No charge. Policeman:  You're welcome. Just hope the mayor doesn't find out about this mess. He's the one you need to worry about!  Mayor. Mayor: Eugene Krabs! Mr. Krabs:  Mr. Mayor! Mayor: The whole town is in a stand-still because your drive thru is so slow! Mr. Krabs: Well... don't you worry, Mr. Mayor! There's an answer for that, too!  There you go! See, now we got two drive thrus, two lines, and I'll make money twice as fast! Mayor: Hmm! That should work perfectly!",Okay! Who had the Double Krabby Patty with fries and extra chee-?
Squidward: SpongeBob! Order up!,I'm on it!
"Squidward: Hurry, SpongeBob! I got 26 more orders!",26 orders up!
"Squidward:  No, no, no! Not that window! The other one!","Squidward, are you sure?! These customers over here look really, really hungry!"
"Squidward:  And these ones don't?! Lenny:  Hey, hey, hey, watch it, will ya?! I just had this thing repainted! Frank (lifeguard): And I just had this repainted! Lenny:  I see you used the extra-glossy... Plankton:  Chum nuggets here! Going fast! Get 'em while they're cold! Get 'em while they're runny! Looks like Krabs' drive thru is really paying off...  for me!  Oh no... not again. Old Man: Oh darn it! Now there's a line! Plankton:  Watch where you're going, old man! This is the second time! Old Man: I'm too old to wait in lines! Plankton:  Chum Nuggets... get 'em before  my arm falls off... Mr. Krabs:  They're everywhere! Squidward: Mr. Krabs! Mr. Krabs: Stay back! Take Squidward, not me!  Oh, hi Squidward.",Mr. Krabs! We gotta do something! The customers are mad with hunger! They're beginning to riot!
"Squidward: For once, he's right! Mr. Krabs: Easy, boys! Easy! Don't you think you're both getting a little carried away? I mean, I hardly call this a riot! Right?  Like-  Oh... kay... Don't worry!  I can solve this!  More drive thrus! More money! Mr. Krabs:  Hey? Is somebody eating potato chips?","Don't worry, Mr. Krabs!  We can fix it!  We might need to buy some more toothpaste though."
"Squidward: Okay, would you like any fries with that? Customer #1: Uh,  Hey, if I get some kelp fries, would you guys share them with me? Jimmy: Do we know you? Customer #1:  Two orders of kelp fries, please. Squidward: And two orders of— Customer #1: I only said one order. Squidward: But you said two. Customer #1: Okay, I'll have two. Squidward:  SpongeBob, order up.  Welcome to The Krusty—  SpongeBob, what in Neptune's...  SpongeBob?  Well, his spatula's still warm.  Well, SpongeBob. I must admit this is strange behavior, even for you. Mr. Krabs:  Ahoy, Squidward.  Good Neptune, SpongeBob. What has gotten into to you, son? Squidward: I think he's in some kind of self-induced trance. Mr. Krabs: No, Squidward. This is worse. he's got the thousand-yard stare. I had it once meself back in me service days.  What is it, lad? Quick, we're losing money!  It's the boy's tiny calendar. And he has circled today's date.  Important Food Critic visits Krusty Krab?! Squidward: That's what's causing all this? Only a complete moron would worry about what some critic has to say.  I rest my case.  Hey, in or out, mister? You're letting out the A.C.  Weirdo. Mr. Krabs: Why, hello! You're the television food critic Gene Scallop, aren't ya? Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Eugene Krabs, owner and proprietor of this fine... Squidward: Well, do you want to order something or do you just want to block my reading light? Mr. Krabs: Squidward, you just drove away Gene Scallop! Don't you know our lives depend on his review? Squidward: Mr. Krabs, the only thing my life depends on is going home at 6:00. Mr. Krabs: M— Mr. Scallop, wait, please! Before you go, come on, sit down. Try one of our delicious Krabby Patties. It's absolutely—  Complimentary.  Okay, SpongeBob, that'll be all.  He's nobody.  We're doomed! Barbara: And there were no survivors. Bob: Thank you, Barbara. Barbara: Thank you, Bob. Squidward: She is so tacky. Bob: And now it's time for Bottom Feeding with Gene Scallop. Mr. Krabs: Turn it up, Squidward. Gene Scallop: Thank you, Bob. This week, I visited-- Bob: You're welcome, Gene. Gene Scallop:  This week, I reviewed The Krusty Krab restaurant, a local burger joint that's second to none; or should I say second to run, since this critic wanted to make like a banana and peel out the minute he saw how drab this Krab really was. Barbara: That bad, huh, Gene? Gene Scallop: Barbara, once I stuck my beak through that door, my appetite flew South for the winter. I mean, I'm not kidding when I say this restaurant smells like the rear-end of a goat. Bob: And how was the service, Gene? Gene Scallop: You could find livelier help in a graveyard and I'm not just coffin.  The management stunk so bad, I had to get my sweater dry cleaned on the way home... with me in it. Mr. Krabs: Hey, no, wait! Wait! Gene Scallop:  However, at the end of my visit, I chowed down on a meal that titillated my taste buds and gratified my gullet. That sponge behind the grill is no square when it comes to cooking.  If Krabs really wanted to soak up the dough, he'd sponge it up, he'd sponge it out, he'd over-sponge it. You can never have too much sponge.","Well, back to work."
"Mr. Krabs:  That's me boy, SpongeBob! That's me boy.","La, la, la, la, la, la! Wow."
"Mr. Krabs: Okay, a little lower, lower— that's perfect!","Good morning, sir. What's with the new sign?"
"Mr. Krabs: Oh, just making a few cosmetic changes.","Oh, you mean like when Squidward had that mole taken of his—"
"Mr. Krabs: Umm— yeah, a little bit like that.","Morning, Squidward!  Ooh! Squidward, where did you find those shoes?"
"Tyler: Look, it's him!  Mr. SquarePants, can I have your autograph? Squidward: No. Tyler: But, why? Squidward: Well, the first reason is, I have no use of my arms. See? Tyler: Ow! Mr. Krabs: Hey, what's going on over here? Tyler: He hit me, just as I wanted his autograph! Mr. Krabs:  Squidward! I'm sorry, little girl. Of course you can have his autograph— for five bucks. Tyler: What a rip! Mr. Krabs: Look at these, Squidward! Squidward: Looks like some horrific shroud. Mr. Krabs: They're our new Krusty Sponge napkins! Extra absorbent. Squidward: You really need to see a doctor. Mr. Krabs: Oh, that reminds me, Squidward. I need you to unpack these boxes. Squidward: What's in them? Mr. Krabs:  Condiments. We got Tangy Spongy Sauce and Mild Bobby Sauce for the not-so-daring. Squidward: Oh, clever.","Captain! My spatula's missing, sir!"
"Mr. Krabs: I got it right here. Here you go, Squidward.  You're on grill duty now. Squidward: But that's SpongeBob's job! Mr. Krabs: Don't worry, Squidward. I got something else lined up for him.  Step right up, folks! Take a ride on The Krusty Sponge Fun Train! Tickets are only $1.98. Seat belts not included. Squidward: Okay, how am I going to do this now? Umm—  Mommy, is that you?","Mr. Krabs, I really think I should be getting back to the grill now."
"Mr. Krabs: Are you kidding, lad? Just look at these paying customers!  Who's ready for another lap?  Keep on truckin', SpongeBob. I've got some important business to see to in me office. Squidward: Mr. Krabs? Uh, this is a bad time, isn't it? Mr. Krabs:  No! Squidward: Well, there are some men out back with a delivery and want you to sign. Mr. Krabs:  Okay, tell them I'll be right out. Squidward: Got it.  Ow! Mr. Krabs: And let's watch the language, Squidward! Joe: Just sign here, here and here. Mr. Krabs: My pleasure. Squidward: What the heck is all this stuff? Mr. Krabs: I'm glad you asked. We got SpongeBob drinking straws—  coasters—  bibs—  and me personal favorite, SpongeBob ice cubes!  Aww. Squidward: Mr. Krabs, don't you think you might be taking all this a little bit too far? Mr. Krabs:  Get back to work, SpongeBob! I'll be in me SpongeBob if you SpongeBob me.  Whoops!  There you go, Squidward. Squidward: Now what? Mr. Krabs: Oh, you're going to love this. Spongy Patties! Squidward: Spongy Patties? Mr. Krabs: Yeah. I want you to start using them instead of the other ones. Squidward: Where'd you get them? Mr. Krabs: They were just the boxes of patties we didn't have room for in the freezer. They turned yellow. Got to keep those SpongeBob ice cubes somewhere, you know. Squidward: You mean to tell me you actually expect people to pay $1.98 for a rotten patty? Mr. Krabs: Squidward, you're right! All this instant success must be scrambling my brains! We'll make them $2.98!",All aboard...
"Nat: Hey, we didn't pay $3.00 to watch you take a nap! Sadie: That's the worst SpongeBob costume I've ever seen!  Ride, ride, ride, ride, ride, ride, ride, ride, ride, ride!","Oh, boy. What a day. What's next? A zombie invasion?  Mr. Krabs, open up! We're being attacked by a bunch of zombies that look like me!"
"Mr. Krabs: Uh, go away, please, I'm busy.","Please, you don't understand! They're all splotchy and yellow with distended bellies!  Open up, open up, open up!"
Mr. Krabs: Who?,Mr. Krabs?
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob—  Great Neptune's mother's stockings! Zombies— they're here to eat me money!,"Wait! They're not zombies, Mr. Krabs. They're your customers— look!"
"Sandals:  I ate this yellow Krabby Patty and now I feel sick. Bailiff: Krabby Patty?  Man, you've got some serious problems. If you're trying to pass that off as a Krabby Patty— Mr. Krabs: It's a... It's a Spongy Patty!","Mr. Krabs, what have you done?! You've poisoned all these people!"
"Mr. Krabs:  No! But... I just... just... I can explain, I...  What the...? Bailiff:  Tell it to the judge, Krabs. Guard: Calling the courtroom to attention in the case People of Bikini Bottom vs. Mr. Krabs. The honorable Judge Horace A. Whopper presiding. Judge Horace A. Whopper:  Has the jury reached a verdict? Gene Scallop:  We have, your honor. We the jury find the defendant, Eugene H. Krabs, guilty of all charges. Judge Horace A. Whopper: Very well. Does the defendant have anything to say before we send him down the river? Mr. Krabs:  No, your honor. Judge Horace A. Whopper: Very well. Mr. Krabs: Eh, hang on a second there, judge! That wouldn't happen to be a SpongeBob gavel you're using? Judge Horace A. Whopper: Oh, why, yes. It's my prized possession. I am a huge SpongeBob fan. Mr. Krabs: Permission to approach the bench, your honor!","Sure is glad to be back behind the grill where I belong, Mr. Krabs."
"Mr. Krabs: It's good to have you back, boy. Let's see how Squidward's enjoying his new position.  Take him around as many times as you like. Judge Horace A. Whopper: I just might have to take you up on that. Mr. Krabs:  I love a happy ending. Mr. Krabs: ♪Me dollar lies over the ocean, me dollar lies over--♪  Whoa! Blarney stone, that's a horrible reek. I knew I was forgetting somethin'.  Ohhhhhhh, bring back me money to me! Mr. Krabs: That's strange. I'm sure I can remember screwing the cap back on the toothpaste, but here it is on the edge of the sink, plain as day. Heh heh! These are strange times we're livin' in. Pearl: Daddy! Mr. Krabs: That sounded like me beloved teenage daughter, Pearl. I'm coming, princess! Pearl: Mr. Krabs: Pearl! What in the name of Neptune's Aunt Nancy is with all this ruckus? Pearl: What's happening to me?! Mr. Krabs: Pearl, this is terrible! I paid 30 bucks for that bed! 'Course, that was when you were a newborn. Maybe if I crunched a few numbers and checked the warranty, I could— Pearl: I  need  food. Mr. Krabs:  Okay, Pearl! I wasn't sure what to get, so I just brought the whole-- Mr. Krabs: ...refrigerator. Mr. Krabs: Pearl, I somehow just realized what's happening. Pearl: So did I. Mr. Krabs: You're havin' one of them, uh, you know, one of them, um, growth spouts. It means you're healthy. Pearl: It means I need food! Mr. Krabs:  Empty! Old cracker: What am I, chopped liver? Chopped liver: No, that's what I am. Mr. Krabs: Pearl: Daddy! Mr. Krabs: Darling, I searched the entire house. There's not a speck of food to be spoken of. Pearl: Well, you're just gonna have to go buy some. Mr. Krabs:  Uhhh, can't. It's late, and all the shops are closed. We're just gonna have to wait until morning to find you something to eat. Pearl: Wait, what's that green stuff in your pocket? Mr. Krabs: Eh? Where? Pearl: There! Mr. Krabs: Me money? Pearl: I'll just have to eat this. Mr. Krabs: No, wait! I'll think of something.  Food. Where? Where? Food. Where? Where? Huh? Mrs. Puff:  Must protect garden.  Only thing that makes life worth living. Mr. Krabs: Hehehehehe! Peanuts!  What the...  These peanut worms are pets, not vegetables! Mrs. Puff:  Who's there? I'm warning you. I have a blunt instrument here, and I'm not afraid to use it.  There you are, sucker! Mr. Krabs:  Cucumbers. Squirting me. Flying stuff!  Jackpot.  Surely Patrick could spare a few morsels. After all, it's for a worthy cause. Me beloved Pearl.  Don't worry, Pearl, Daddy found you some vittles!  Bottom feeders.  Pearl! I brought you some--  ...cereal. Pearl: More, Daddy, More! Mrs. Puff:  There, there, my darling, the bad man is gone now. And if he comes back, we'll make sure he never walks again! Officer: Which way did you say the kidnapper ran, Miss, uh, Mrs., uh, Ms., Mrs., Miss, Mrs.  So which way did you say he went? Mrs. Puff: I said he went that way. Officer:  Anything else? Mrs. Puff: No. Officer:  Got it. Johnson.  Well, looks like whoever it was is gone now, ma'am. Enjoy the rest of the evening.  I tell ya, these calls are getting more and more weird. I mean, what kind of nutcase would want to break into someone's vegetable garden at this time of night? Mr. Krabs: Ooh-hoo-hoo, foo-foo-foo-food. Gotta find foo-hoo-hoo food! Officer: Well, I doubt he's gonna turn up anywhere near here again tonight. What do you say we go check out that new 24-hour taser emporium you were talking about? Mr. Krabs: Food! Food! Food! Food! Food! Food! Food! Food! Food!  Food.  Not food.  Hanging cured meats. Exotic spices. A breadbox overflowing with baguettes. Yummy stuff everywhere! I'll start with the fridge.  Candied sea yams, pickled urchins, anemone pies, a bucket of kelp slaw.... Et cetera. Ooh, more et cetera. Squidward's house: Oh, well. I needed to lose a little weight anyway. Officer:  And that's what I told him. I said, If you're not gonna bring an extra set of batteries, then why even carry a--  Hey mister! What's with the sack? Mr. Krabs: S-sack? Officer: Yeah, sack. That big giant sack thing you're carrying on your back, that sack. Mr. Krabs: It's, uh... I'm, uh, practicing to be Santy Claws for the holidays. Officer: Okay, you have a safe night now. Mr. Krabs: Thanks again, officer! Officer: Be seeing you in a couple months.  Happy Holidays. Mr. Krabs: Okay, Pearly, I got some vittles for ya! Pearl: More! Mr. Krabs: I was afraid you were gonna say that. Mr. Krabs: I wasn't stealing food!",Mr. Krabs! How could you do this to me?
"Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, I'm sorry, I had no other choice. See","Coming over for a slumber party without even giving me a chance to put my best PJs on? I mean, look at these things. Just give me one minute to change, and when I get back, we can get started on some s'mores and popcorn."
"Mr. Krabs:  G-g-good idea, SpongeBob. That sounds just perfect. Squidward: Not so fast! That crab is a food thief! He snuck into my house in the middle of the night, stole every last morsel in my kitchen, and he even swiped my entire collection of smoked kielbasas.",But I thought he was having a slumber party at my house.
"Squidward: I don't care. I'm calling the police. Mr. Krabs: Squidward, wait, you can't. Squidward: Oh? And why is that? Mr. Krabs: Because if you do, I'll fire ya.  No, if I go to prison, who's gonna feed Pearl? Squidward: Hello, police? Mr. Krabs: Hold it! I'll... I'll... Squidward: You'll what? You'll give me your golden tooth?",I didn't even know Mr. Krabs had a gold tooth.
"Squidward: Neither did I. Mr. Krabs:  Oh, SpongeBob, what am I gonna do?","Oh, don't worry, Mr. Krabs. I had a tooth pulled a few years ago. Only hurts for a couple of days."
"Mr. Krabs: It's not that, boy. Those nerves died years ago. It's me dear daughter, Pearl.",Pearl? What happened?
"Mr. Krabs: She's going through one of them growth spurts, and I can't find a way to feed her.","Mr. Krabs, you're the owner of the most delightfully delicious restaurant in Bikini Bottom! Why don't you just take her there to eat?"
"Mr. Krabs: Hold on, boy. I said I was trying to feed me daughter, not completely obliterate me inventory.",You don't have to do that. I know a special ingredient that can make one Krabby Patty taste like a million.
"Pearl: Oh, Oh! So hungry, not gonna make it! Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, hurry it up!","Hang in there, Mr. Krabs. Almost ready."
"Mr. Krabs: You've been saying that for the last-- Pearl: Daddy, I'm not hungry anymore, and I've stopped growing. I feel great. Heh, Heh! Mr. Krabs: Whew! Boy, I'm glad that's over. And it only cost me one Krabby Patty. Say, what was that secret ingredient you used in there, anyways, boy?","It was love, Mr. Krabs. It was love."
"Mr. Krabs:  Eh? Mr. Krabs:  Where could they be? They should've been here hours ago! Arrgh! Not a customer in sight. If I don't make any money today, I'll surely break out in a rash!","Yippee! I'm rich! Look, Patrick, eight gold doubloons!"
"Mr. Krabs: Wait, I saw it first! Hah!  Mine, mine! Huh?!","Boy, Mr. Krabs, you sure are sweaty."
Mr. Krabs: What's this? Where are the doubloons?,"There are no real doubloons, Mr. Krabs! It's a game: The Flying Dutchman's Treasure Hunt."
Patrick: Based on a real treasure map.,Take a break and play around with us.
"Patrick: Yeah! C'mon, sweaty! Mr. Krabs: Have you finished cleaning the tables?","I cleaned the tables, Mr. Krabs!"
"Mr. Krabs: Ay, but did you scrape all the gum off the underside?",I already took care of it.
"Mr. Krabs: Hahaha. All right, lads. Looks like you've shanghaied me. Patrick: My turn!  Five!  One of your shipmates has been a bad pirate! Send him to the brig! Hmmm...  It's off to jail for you, Mr. Krabs! Mr. Krabs: Patrick, you're fired. Patrick: But I don't even work here! Mr. Krabs: Would you like a job, starting now? Patrick: Boy, would I! Mr. Krabs:  You're fired.","My turn.  One, two, three, four.  Look for the Deacon's Goose thru the fork in the old tree and head that way.  Well, I see Mr. Krabs' zipper is undone."
Mr. Krabs:  Shiver me timbers!,"Just kidding, Mr. Krabs. I'm almost to the treasure. Your turn again, Mr. Krabs."
"Mr. Krabs:  Ooh, fish eyes. One, two.","You are a real pirate. Go straight to the X that marks the spot. You get to dig for treasure, Mr. Krabs!"
"Mr. Krabs: Treasure.  There it is! It's the Flying Dutchman's Treasure! Gold, gold, gold. Mine, mine, mine, mine, mine.","Hey, Mr. Krabs is getting all sweaty again."
"Fred:  Rev up those fryers, ‘cause I am sure hungry for one--   Help! Help!  My leg! Mr. Krabs: Can't you see we're closed?!  Ready for another round? This is my kind of game! SpongeBob and Patrick: Hooray! Mr. Krabs: Six! One, two...  I win again! Oh, that's seventeen times in a row.","I think we ought to call it a night, Mr. Krabs. I really got to get some sleep."
"Mr. Krabs: Oh, you can't walk out on me now.","I'm sorry, Mr. Krabs.  See you tomorrow.  Huh? Who's there?"
"Mr. Krabs: Come on, SpongeBob. One more game. I can smell the treasure.","Mr. Krabs, it's late. Go to bed! Good night, Mr. Krabs."
"Mr. Krabs: Wind is perfect, the tide is right. Let's hunt for treasure!","Mr. Krabs, you gotta...!"
"Mr. Krabs: Tread softly, lad. If the Dutchman hears you, we'll never get his treasure.","But, Mr. Krabs..."
"Mr. Krabs: I'll roll for you, boy.","But, Mr..."
"Mr. Krabs:  Eight paces, north, that's a good start, lad.","But, Mr..."
"Mr. Krabs: One, two, three...","MR. KRABS! I WANNA GO TO BED!!! Mr. Krabs, I'm sorry, but it's just a game, ya know?"
"Mr. Krabs: A game. That's... right. Of course it is, my mistake. I guess I got a little carried away, eh? Though it is treasure we're dealing here. Sorry, for disturbing ya, lad.  Avast! Pineapple, ho. Heave two, and prepare to be boarded.","Aw, go home already. I'm done playing that game, Mr. Krabs."
"Mr. Krabs: That’s Captain Krabs to you, and this is no game. We're gonna be pirates.",Pirates?
"Mr. Krabs: Ay! How'd you like to go on a real treasure hunt, with a real treasure map? SpongeBob and Patrick:  Treasure?  We're gonna be pirates, we're gonna be pirates! Mr. Krabs: Ay, ay, ay. Belay that skipping. Pirates don't skip.  Put on this pirate garb, so I won't be embarrassed to be seen with ya. Arrgh.","Oh, Patrick. Look! Peg legs and eye patches!"
"Mr. Krabs: Now, don't you feel more like pirates?","Look, I'm Peggy the Pirate!"
Patrick:  And I'm BlindBeard the Pirate!,Ow.
"Mr. Krabs: Arrgh!  Keep a sharp lookout, SpongeBob. According to the map, we're close to the first landmark.",Really? Can we see the map?
Mr. Krabs: Uh... no. Only the captain can lay eyes on the map!,"Okie dokie, then!"
"Mr. Krabs: Arrgh, a pirate doesn't say, okie dokie, then! A pirate says, arrgh!","Okie... oops.  I mean...  ARRGH, Captain Krabs.  Captain, we're about to hit... uhh... I mean... ARRGH, Cap', ARRGH, we're, ARRGH, about, ARRGH, to hit, ARRGH..."
"Mr. Krabs: Out with it man, ARRGH! Patrick: I, ARRGH, think, ARRGH, he's trying, ARRGH, to say--  land. Mr. Krabs: AAAARRGH!!! From now on, only the captain says 'arrgh'! Status report, Mr. SquarePants?","The whole ship is underwater, captain."
"Mr. Krabs: Arrgh. We're marooned then. Our treasure hunt will have to continue on foot.  This is it, boys, from the seaweed with two leaves on it. 10,000 paces east.","But, Mr. Krabs, that seaweed has...  Which way, cap'n?"
"Mr. Krabs: Ensign Patrick, which way is east? Patrick: Uhh...  let's see, uhh...  that way, captain! Mr. Krabs:  9,997... 9,998... 9,999... 10,000! Where's the X? Supposed to be right here! 10,000 paces east! Patrick: Ohhhh, east? I thought you said weast. Mr. Krabs: Weast? What kind of compass are you reading lad? Patrick: This one, sir. Mr. Krabs: That's west, Patrick. You're fired again.  9,551... 9,552...","Mr. Krabs, we're tired."
"Patrick: And hungry. Mr. Krabs: Ooh. So this is my crew. You get a little tired, and a wee-bit hungry, and you want to shove off for home. Arrgh! That sickens me. A pirate is not judged by the notches in his cutlass, or by the size of his booty. A pirate is judged by the loyalty of his crew. And without a loyal crew...  what am I captain of? Just a... bunch of sand! Patrick: Don't cry, Captain Krabs.","Yeah, we'll be your loyal crew."
Mr. Krabs: You'll stay with me then? SpongeBob and Patrick: We'll be the most loyal pirate crew ever! Mr. Krabs: I knew I could count on you boys. One for all! SpongeBob and Patrick: And all for one!,"I'm so loyal, I don't even mind sleeping on the cold, hard ground while Captain Krabs sleeps in his warm, dry tent."
"Patrick: I'm so loyal, I haven't bathed in weeks!",But we've only been gone a few hours!
"Patrick: ...I know, hehehehe.","I'm so loyal, I don't wanna sleep till we find the treasure. Let's go see if the captain will go now!"
SpongeBob and Patrick:  Captain Krabs?,He's not here.
Patrick: Look! The treasure map.,"Only the captain can look at the map, Patrick."
Patrick:  Yeah...,"Patrick, what are you doing?"
Patrick: Nothing.,"Patrick, you're not supposed to look at the map."
"Patrick: I'm not looking, I'm touching. There's no rule against that, is there?","No, guess there isn't.  Oops, Patrick, it opened by itself!"
"SpongeBob and Patrick: THE MAP! THE MAP! GOTTA SEE IT, GOTTA LOOK AT IT! Patrick: SpongeBob?",Yeah?
Patrick: Did you notice something familiar about this map?,"You mean, like that it's our game board taped to a piece of paper?"
"Mr. Krabs:  Do you think this is a problem? SpongeBob and Patrick:  Ahh! Mr. Krabs!! Mr. Krabs: Sneaking peeks at me treasure map? Patrick: We're sorry! Mr. Krabs: That's mutiny on my ship. So you think ol' Captain Krabs has gone crazy, do ye?","Not at all, Captain Krabs. We don't think that at all!"
Patrick: I think that. Mr. Krabs: I'm gonna throw you overboard for saying that!,Look! It's the X.
Mr. Krabs:  X marks the spot!,Wow! That game really is based on a real treasure map!
"Mr. Krabs: Well, what are you waiting for, lads?  Dig! Dig!  Dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig!","We got it, Captain Krabs!"
"Mr. Krabs: Ha, ha! Hand it up to me, lads! Heave!  We finally found it! Female Chorus: The Dutchman's Treasure! All: Wow!","What are you going to do with your share, Patrick?"
"Patrick: I don't know. How are you going to spend your share, SpongeBob? Mr. Krabs: What shares? You're not getting any of my treasure!",We found it together. So we deserve a share!
"Mr. Krabs: Well, I'm the captain. And I say it's mine!",What about loyalty?
Mr. Krabs: All for one.,And one for all.
Mr. Krabs: All for one!,And one for all!
Mr. Krabs: All for one!!,And one for all!!
Flying Dutchman:  I'm the Flying Dutchman... Mr. Krabs: All for one.,And one for all.
"Flying Dutchman:  I'm the Flying Dutchman...  WHO DARES WAKE THE FLYING DUTCHMAN?! Keep it down, will ya? I'm trying to get some sleep.  Huh? Mr. Krabs: All for one. SpongeBob and Patrick: And one for all. Flying Dutchman: Who dug up the Dutchman's treasure??? Mr. Krabs:  They did! Flying Dutchman: Arrgh!  So you two scallywags dug up me treasure?! SpongeBob and Patrick:  Uh-huh! Flying Dutchman: Well, you saved me a lot of diggin' you did. So here's an reward for the two of ya's.",Wow!
"Female Chorus: Two gold doubloons! Mr. Krabs: Wait! I'm captain of this crew! Where's my reward? Flying Dutchman: Hmmm, I guess you're right. A little something for your trouble. Mr. Krabs: Gold, gold, gold, gold, gold!  Huh? Why, it's just a little plastic treasure chest! Female Chorus: Plastic! Flying Dutchman: Aye, but it's based on a real treasure chest! Patrick: Gee, Mr. Krabs, you're looking all sweaty again. Mr. Krabs:   And how is everything for you today, sir? Nat: Oh, it's great! Just great! Mr. Krabs: Fine, fine. Nat: I just love this Krabby Patty! Mr. Krabs: Yeah, okay, always nice to hear. Nat: My Krabby Patty is a Krabby Patty and both buns are also Krabby Patties!  So luxurious! Mr. Krabs:  You must've paid five times the price of a regular patty for that! Nat: No extra. It's the same low price as a regular Krabby Patty. Mr. Krabs:  Argh!  Me eyes! What are you doing, Mr. Squidward?! Squidward: I couldn't find a smelling salt, so I just used table salt. Fred: Hey, my Krabby Patty is just a bun! And the two buns... are also buns. Stale buns. Tom:  My patty tastes like sadness. Mr. Krabs: All right, that's enough. Patties with emotional flavors...  ...it's two bits extra. Now pay at the register. What in Davy Jones' locker is going on in here, Mr. Squidward?! Squidward: What do you think? SpongeBob's in one of his moods. He failed his boating exam...again. Mr. Krabs: Well, we can't have that. He's me best employee. Well, no offense. Squidward: None taken. Mr. Krabs: Melancholy and self-doubt are bad for business. Make a note of it. Squidward: Let me grab a pencil.  Ha, it's funny, cause I mean the opposite. Ha. Mr. Krabs:  Avast there, lad!  You're wasting your valuable tears, salting me patties with grief.","I'm sorry, Mr. Krabs.  Oh, I can't even cry right!"
"Mr. Krabs: There, there. Failing your driver's test is nothing to cry over.","Oh, I've been in driving school as long as I can remember, and I still don't have my license!"
Mr. Krabs: How much do they charge you at this driving school of yours?,"Oh, about $100 a semester."
"Mr. Krabs: $100 a semester?!  Well, I can do it for double the price and half the time!",Really?
"Mr. Krabs: Sure, I taught me own daughter Pearl how to drive like a little angel. Pearl: Hi, Daddy! I need money for shoes. Mr. Krabs: Sure, anything for me little angel Pearl. Pearl: Thanks, Daddy!","Uh, are you sure about this, Mr. Krabs?"
"Mr. Krabs:  Why, I couldn't be sure, lad. You don't need a...  professional to teach you how to drive.","You know, Mr. Krabs, at boating school, Mrs. Puff..."
"Mr. Krabs: Wipe that boating school malarkey out of your mind, son! It's all a racket.",It is?
"Mr. Krabs:  And that goes for every kind of schooling. Why, there ain't nothing truly important, you can't learn on the streets with half a jigger of common sense and your own two claws. Now, put 'er in gear!",Okay!
"Mr. Krabs:  Well, rookie mistake, boy. It happens all the time.",It does?
"Mr. Krabs: No, but you got the right fire in your belly.",I do?
"Mr. Krabs:  Yeah. Well, you know, what we need is a change of venue. Mr. Krabs: This empty parking lot is just the ticket.  Like every young person, the novice boater needs plenty of open, obstacle-free space and the freedom to make mistakes.","Mr. Krabs, you're so wise."
"Mr. Krabs:  Can't disagree with you there. All right, put 'er in gear!  Hmm.","Rookie mistake, right?"
Mr. Krabs: I suppose so. Now slowly inch forward and we'll check out the damage.,"Inch, inch. Inch, inch, inch. Inch, inch."
"Mr. Krabs:  Oh, broken wall. That's about $15,000. Oh, kitchen fire. Oh, that'll be about 6 grand.  Ooh, lawsuit? Oh, that's a lot of zeroes! Ugh.   All right, Krabs. Get a hold of yourself. You've been in worse fixes than this. Why, you've stared down the cannon's mouth, haven't ya? Look at that face.  Bleah! Is this the face of your final defeat? Is it, Krabs? Mr. Krabs: Now, here's a place you should be comfortable with.","Oh, I'll say."
"Mr. Krabs: Just take a look around, boy-o: home sweet home. Nothing to make you twitchy and jumpy. Oh, just the opposite, in fact. A place so soothing and sweet, like a mother's gentle lullaby on a soft summer's night.  Oh, brother. Let's start with something simple: a little trip down the street to Patrick's house.",Patrick's house!
"Harv:  I'll have one Krabby Patty, please. Squidward: Okay. Mr. Krabs:  Upsell! Squidward:   Would you like fries with that? Harv: Yeah, sounds good. Mr. Krabs:  Better. Mr. Krabs: Okay, that was just fine, but next time, wait until I say, Put 'er into gear. Squidward: You missed one. Mr. Krabs:  A simple trip to Patrick's house: a line so straight and true.","Mr. Krabs, let's just leave the boat here and walk."
"Mr. Krabs: Well, we, you know, we could do that. But you can't learn to drive without a boat.  Or can ye? Mr. Krabs: You'll certainly learn the way of the boat with this here top-of-the-line, state-of-the-art technological simulator. Mr. Krabs: Now hand me one of them tokens.  You'll need your protective headgear. Computer on Screen: Ready? Drive!","I'm doing it, Mr. Krabs! I'm driving the boat!  Uh-oh."
Computer on Screen: Sixth place!,"Hey, look, Mr. Krabs. I'm driving!"
"Mr. Krabs: Great job, boy. Worker: Phew.","Well, at least I didn't hit the Krusty Krab that time."
Mr. Krabs: Saw that coming.,"I'm sorry, Mr. Krabs. The fire in my belly has gone... ]"
"Mr. Krabs: No, no. It's my fault. We've been going about this all wrong, boy. It's not a pampering you'd be needing. It's a bold and reckless display of confidence!","Oh, yeah."
"Mr. Krabs: You think when I was your age, I tip-toed around like a tadpole on a petunia?",You never!
"Mr. Krabs: That's right. My style was to dive in with both feet, claws snapping.","Snapping! Oh, my gosh."
"Mr. Krabs: Thar she blows. The dreaded double roundabout, the most treacherous stretch of road in all of Bikini Bottom. To your starboard, you yield. To your port, they yield to you. And when you're in the middle, it's every man for himself and the devil take the rest!","Man, I don't think I'm ready for this, Mr. Krabs."
"Mr. Krabs:  Nonsense, boy-o. All it takes is some confidence and a little coordination. Why, your little pet snail could do it. Gary: Meow.","Uh, I thought you were just using Gary as a colorful example, Mr. Krabs."
"Mr. Krabs: Oh, he's colorful, all right. But he's also going to teach you how to drive. Now, go!  Atta boy!  There you go, SpongeBob. Did you see how Gary did that?","Uh, yeah, some of it."
"Mr. Krabs: Buck up, me boy-o.  It's your turn next.","My turn? Gee, Mr. Krabs, you must really believe in me."
"Mr. Krabs:  Not really. Police officer: Sir, is this your vehicle? Mr. Krabs: Why, yes. Yes, officer, it is. Police officer: And did I just see you let a snail negotiate this vehicle through a dangerous intersection? Mr. Krabs:  You sure did...uh, I mean, you didn't...I mean, well, no...I mean, well, yes...I mean, uh, look, it was just a friendly, little example: a colorful example.  I was teaching the lad to drive. Police officer: By putting a snail behind the wheel. Mr. Krabs: Well, I mean, really, he has more on top of the wheel. Gary: Meow.","Officer, I don't have the boating handbook with me, but..."
"Mr. Krabs:  Quiet, boy! Let me handle this. Police officer: Are you a licensed driving instructor, sir? Mr. Krabs:  Well, no. But I taught me own little girl to drive, you see, and you understand. Do you have any kiddies of your own at home, officer? Police officer:  No, I'm married to my job. Mr. Krabs: Oh. Well, um...you two seem very happy together. Police officer: Well, we've had our ups and downs, but after some couples counseling, we think we've worked out our issues. Mr. Krabs:  This ticket's coming out of your paycheck, boy.",Whoa! My first real traffic ticket.
"Police officer:  Oh, this is going to require something more than money, sir. Mr. Krabs: Ha! What could be worse than spending money? Mrs. Puff: All right, class. Please say hello to our newest classmate...Mr. Krabs! Class : Hello, Mr. Krabs.","Don't worry, Mr. K. I'll show you the ropes."
"Mr. Krabs:  Alright, take this, boy-o. And study it very carefully.",Right! Oh-ho! Ha. Mr. Krabs.
Mr. Krabs:  Not that side!,Oh. Huh. A shopping list?
"Mr. Krabs: We're running low on secret ingredients. I need you to go shopping. Mr. Krabs: But be careful not to lose the list. If you-know-who gets his hands on it, he'll know what goes into the Krabby Patty. You know where that leads. Total apocalypse! Plankton: More like funpocalypse!  I'll just follow that yellow nitwit and the secret ingredients will be mine!",♪Shopping spree! That's for me! A list of goodies from the sea! Shopping spree! That's for me! A list of goodies from the sea! Shopping spree! That's for me! A list of goodies from the sea!♪ Wow. The stuff on this shopping list is pretty exotic. I'm not gonna find any of this at Barg'N-Mart.
"Sandy:  Whatcha got there, SpongeBob?",Hold on.  Something super secret.
Sandy:  Yeah. I guess you'd want to keep this secret.,Not that side.
Sandy: Holy moly! You're gonna have to go to tarnation and back to get all these things.,"Well, what do I do?"
"Sandy: Ah, no worries. I just souped up old Matilda here. Sandy: I think she likes ya.","Sandy, does it seem a little dry in here?"
"Sandy: Huh? Oh, possum pits! How could I forget?",Thanks.
Sandy: Buckle up! Plankton:  Ow! What? Plankton: Whew!,The first item on Mr. Krabs' list is...hair from a yeti crab?
"Sandy: Well, that hairy hermit dwells right here on this mountain top. Sandy:  Look, there he is! Sandy:  He lives alone. He'll never know it's gone. Plankton: Krabs puts yeti hair in the Krabby Patties? Ew! Why didn't I think of that? Plankton: Uh-oh!  Ow! Uh, ah, ooh, ah, oh, hey! Plankton: Could've been worse. Could've been a ten gallon hat.",The next item is milk from a giant fangtooth fish.
Sandy:  The deep ocean floor is the only place it inhabits. Keep an eye out.,I found it!  But how do we milk it?
Sandy: We'll have to distract her first. Deploy kibble!,Is one udder better than another udder?
"Sandy: We'll just have to milk them all! Sandy: Whoa, nelly! Good girl. Plankton: Huh? Don't you run dry on me, baby! Plankton:  Come on! Flow already! Female Fangtooth Fish:  Huh? Plankton: Uh, nice fishy-fishy. I—I don't suppose you like chumsicles. Plankton:  Yeah! Thanks for the fish milk, Ugly! Male Fangtooth Fish: You're not ugly, darling. You've got character. Female Fangtooth Fish: Aww! Plankton:  Oh, shrimp! Guess I'll have to take the long walk to the back exit. ] Sandy: SpongeBob, what are we doing here? The Flying Dutchman's about as welcoming as an outhouse breeze!",It's on the list.  See? Ghost dandruff.
"Flying Dutchman:  With my face, I can say anything and make it sound scary!  One large skinny pumpkin latte with soy milk, please? Flying Dutchman:  Forty percent chance of rain tonight as we head into the weekend.",Got it!
Flying Dutchman: Ah! Ow! Uh! What the?!  How dare you steal my dandruff! I've been drying me scalp for centuries in order to achieve the perfect dermatitis flakes! Plankton:  Maybe some skull and shoulders would help?,"Well, we got everything on the list.  Oh, Mr. Krabs will be so proud of me!"
"Sandy: I hope so, because that's the craziest group of ingredients I ever—Whoa! Plankton: There is one more thing I needed to get on my shopping list. Everything!  Thanks for doing it for me! So long, chumps! Plankton:  At last! The Krabby Patty secret ingredients are in my hands!","Aw, my ingredients!"
Sandy:  My submarine! Yeti Crab:  My hair! French Narrator: Later… Yeti Crab: Thanks for the wig. Sandy: No problem!  It'll grow back.,"And you even had enough to cover his buns. Oh, Mr. Krabs!  I got all the secret ingredients on your list, but Plankton stole them all! I made the apocalypse!"
"Mr. Krabs:  Now, now, son. You didn't make the apocalypse. I couldn't afford to have Plankton following me while I was getting the real ingredients at the Barg'N-Mart, could I? Fred:  My leg!","So, my list was a fake? So, no apocalypse?"
Mr. Krabs: No apocalypse.,I saved the world!  No apocalypse! No apocalypse! No apocalypse! No apocalypse!
"Mr. Krabs: Let's not go too far. Sandy:  You mean you sent my best friend on a dangerous wild goose chase just so you could go shopping?!  Excuse us, SpongeBob.  This is for my tail! Mr. Krabs: Wait, Sandy, I was— Sandy: Hi-yah!  This is for almost getting us killed! Mr. Krabs: Wait, Sandy! Sandy: Hi-yah!  And this is for my submarine, Matilda! Sandy:  Hi-yah! Hi-yah! Mr. Krabs: Well, I guess I had that coming. Plankton: Can you believe it, Karen? After all these years, the secret ingredients are finally here! And the final ingredient:  ghost dandruff! Karen:  I wouldn't add that last one. Plankton:  Ha, ha! I can't wait to see the look on Krabs' face! Plankton:  Krabs? Mr. Krabs: Plankton. Mr. Krabs:  Hmm, I love you.  And I love you.  And I love you.  Heh—heh—heh.  And I love you too. Oooh.  I tell ya, Mr. Squidward, today's been our  best day of business in years.  Yep, profits are so good, there's nothing that could possibly ruin this perfect—what?! No! Squidward:  Augh!  Ow!","Mr. Krabs, are you okay?  What's a matter? Is there too much money? I'll get rid of the money."
"Mr. Krabs: What are you—  Quit masticatin' me moolah!  I ain't upset about the money, boy. I'm upset about him.","Old Man Jenkins? But I love Old Man Jenkins! He always has old and interesting smells,  and his bones make such funny noises,  and his eyes are the milkiest shade of white , and—"
"Mr. Krabs: Every day, it's the same routine... Old Man Jenkins: I'll have... a small coffee. Squidward:  Hmm, that'll be 25 cents. Old Man Jenkins: I don't think so, Charlie. I get the senior discount. Mr. Krabs:  Then he hogs that table all day...  And annoys all me other customers. Old Man Jenkins: Ahh! Mr. Krabs: And he don't buy nothin' else neither. He just makes that disgustin' condiment soup and listens to his radio, all for free.  And anytime someone says somethin' to him, it's always the same response... Frankie Billy: Excuse me, could you turn the volume down on your soup? Old Man Jenkins: Respect your elders! Frankie Billy: Yes, sir! Sorry, sir! Mr. Krabs: Ooh, it just makes me so steaming mad!",Ooh.  Ahh.
"Mr. Krabs: Well, I won't stand for it no more!  It's time to kick out the coot! Old Man Jenkins: Eh? What's going on now? Medley: Hey! If that's how you treat the elderly, then I'm never eating another Krabby Patty in here again! Bikini Bottomites:  Me neither. Give the poor old guy a break. Mr. Krabs: Oh. Uh, it's okay. I—I was just...shaking the dust off him. See?  Ahh! Uh, wait. Let's see here.  Heh, there. Heh—heh—heh. Old Man Jenkins: Respect your elders! Old Man Jenkins: ♪Oohhhhh! Elders are you betters 'cause we're older. So all you whippersnappers get in line! Y'all best be respectful of your elders or we'll whip you with a soup spoon every time! ♪ Mr. Krabs:  Ahh!","Well, gee, Mr. Krabs. If you want Old Man Jenkins to leave, why not just try asking him nicely?"
"Mr. Krabs: I think you oughta be the one to ask him nicely.  Oh, hi. I'm SpongeBob, and I love you, but will you go home, please? Hee—hee—hee—hee.  I'm Old Man Jenkins, and I'm a jerk who likes to cost Mr. Krabs money.  What the?  What is going on, boy-o? Why ain't Jenkins vacatin' me restaurant?","Oh, Mr. Krabs. I couldn't ask Old Man Jenkins to leave after hearing his story. His feet hurt,  and his grandson never calls,  and he has to take a pill that helps him to remember to take his other pills.  Why, he takes so many pills, he's more pill than man."
"Mr. Krabs: Okay, time to step it up...to passive aggression.  This'll make him uncomfortable. Bikini Bottomites:  Ooh. Whew. Ooh. Old Man Jenkins:  Ehh...ehh…. It's too cold in here for my old blood!  Show a little respect for your elders and turn up the heat! Old Man Jenkins: Thank you! Mr. Krabs:  So you can take the heat, but can you take...the beat? Mr. Krabs:  I don't understand. How did you endure that cacophony? Old Man Jenkins:  Eh?  You say something? I'm a little deaf in my ears! Mr. Krabs: Really? Then what's with the radio? Old Man Jenkins:  I like to cook on the vacuum tubes.  Now show some respect for your elders! Mr. Krabs:  Jenkins, I'm putting me foot down! You're ruining me business, and you're costing me money! Whoo, whoa.  Now, get out! Old Man Jenkins: It ain't legal to throw out the elderly in this town. So respect your elders! Mr. Krabs: Respect...my...elders, hmm? Mr. Krabs: Oh, Old Man Jenkins, I've got someone I'd like you to meet. Old Man Jenkins: Hm? What's this about now? Mr. Krabs: This here is me father.  And he is older than you. So you best respect what he has to say. Victor Krabs: Ahoy there, Jenkins. Time for you to be hoistin' your sails and movin' on, son! Old Man Jenkins: Oh, I don't thinks so.  This is my father, Very Old Man Jenkins Sr. He's even older than your old man, Krabs. Very Old Man Jenkins Sr.: And I say we stay. Both you young 'uns should respect your elders. Mr. Krabs: And I say both you Jenkinses should respect your elder... me grandpappy. Old Man Jenkins: Two can play at that game.  Meet Grandpa Jenkins. Ha-ha! Grandpa Redbeard: I remember the day when Krabby Patties used to cost a dime. Grandpa Jenkins: Oh, yeah? Well, I remember when they cost a nickel. Hm? Mr. Krabs: Okay, let's not give anyone ideas about cheap patties. Now, out with the old, and in with the even older.  Right, Great-Grandpappy Krabs? Ha-ha! Old Man Jenkins: Wake up, Great-Grandpop!  Defend the family's honor! Great Grandpa Krabs: Ooh, respect...someone. Great Grandpa Jenkins: Am I an elder? Mr. Krabs:  Oh, Great-Great-Grandpa Krabs, return to us! I beseech thee!  Ha! You're older than they are! Kick 'em out! Old Man Jenkins:  I want to speak with my Great-Great Grandpa Jenkins!  Get 'em, Ancient-Great-Grand-Pop! Old Man Jenkins:  Youthum Ignorami, Elderus Respecticus! Mr. Krabs:  Here we go.  Ha-ha! Old Man Jenkins: You best respect your elders! Mr. Krabs: My elders will teach your elders a little respect! Get 'em, Krabses! Old Man Jenkins: Jenkinses, attack! Mr. Krabs and Old Man Jenkins: Ha-ha! Ulysses S. Krabs:  Hey. Hey! Uh, you guys are kind of bumming us out. Elizabeth Era Jenkins: Yes, we don't get to visit the land of the living very often. Caveman Era Jenkins: And we just want to party! Ancient Egypt Krabs: You two party-poopers need to respect your elders and vacate the premises! Mr. Krabs:  Looks like it's gonna be a while. Old Man Jenkins: What do we do now? Plankton: Come on, guys. You've been sitting here all day! Doesn't anyone want to order some chum? Mr. Krabs: I'll just have a small coffee, please. Old Man Jenkins: I got this one, Krabby... with my senior discount. Here you go, Jimbo. Plankton: Ow! That's it! Both of you out! Mr. Krabs and Old Man Jenkins: Respect your elders! Mr. Krabs:  Da da dee.  Stitch one purl two. da da dee doo.  Da day dee da. Dee doh..  What's that smell?  The register!  $49.0... 8?! That's a penny short! Squidward:  Oh, no. Not a penny. Help! Somebody, help us.","It's just a penny, sir.  It doesn't matter."
"Mr. Krabs: Doesn't matter? It's money that makes the world go round, boy! It's money that keeps your  pants square! It's money that keeps Squidward in frilly soap! Squidward: Lilac! Mr. Krabs: It's money that paid for all them renovations we did! Oh, nothing in all the seven seas could matter more. Not even that...  Hmm? ...scrumptious, curvy cutie.","I see her, Mr. Krabs.  A Krabby Patty with cheese.  The classic."
"Mr. Krabs: Not the sandwich, boy. The curvy cutie holding the sandwich.","Hey!  that's my driving teacher, Mrs. Puff!"
"Mr. Krabs: Mrs. Puff? Aw, she's married.","Oh, no, Mr. Krabs. She's single."
Mr. Krabs: Then what happened to Mr. Puff?,She doesn't like to talk about it.
"Mr. Krabs: Oh, what I wouldn't give to have a lass like that on me claw.","Hey, I know! Why don't I take you over and introduce you?"
"Mr. Krabs: Oh, no, no, no, I, I'm, I'm too old, boy. Too hard-shelled for love. Besides, I ain't not properly dressed.","Oh, come on, Mr. Krabs!  You look great.  You wait here while I go break the ice."
"Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, no, wait! I'm too nervous! Ooh!","Hi, Mrs. Puff."
"Mrs. Puff: Hit the brakes, SpongeBob! Watch that tree! Left! Left!","Wait, Mrs. Puff! We're not driving."
"Mrs. Puff: Oh, I'm sorry, SpongeBob. I didn't expect to see you here.","I work here, Mrs. Puff. Want to meet my boss?"
"Mrs. Puff: Well, I'm not...",Don't move!
Mrs. Puff: Oh!,"Mrs. Puff,  I'd like to introduce you to Mr...  Mrs. Puff, I'd like to introduce you to my boss, Mr. Krabs."
"Mrs. Puff:  Uh, hello.","Psst! Mr. Krabs, say hello.  No, no, Mr. Krabs. Just say hello."
"Mrs. Puff: Hmm, perhaps another time would be... Mr. Krabs:  No!",Wait.  He's trying to tell you something.
Mrs. Puff:  Mr. Krabs?  I don't understand.,Oh! I think Mr. Krabs is saying that he'd like to...  ...hit you with a rake!
Mrs. Puff:  Goodness! Mr. Krabs: No!,Try to guess your weight.
Mrs. Puff:  Well!,"No, wait. He wants to take you...  ...on a date!"
"Mrs. Puff: Is that true, Mr. Krabs? Do you want to take me on a date? Mr. Krabs: Aye. What do you say? Mrs. Puff: What do I say?  I say, you have a way with words, Mr. Krabs. Mr. Krabs: I still got it.","Ready for your date, Mr. Krabs?"
"Mr. Krabs:  I'm always ready when it comes to datin', lad!",Breath spray?
Mr. Krabs:  Check.,Lucky hanky?
Mr. Krabs:  Check.,Giant rusty anchor?
"Mr. Krabs: Uh, anchor. Anchor? I can't find me giant rusty anchor!","Relax, Mr. Krabs.  Just a little joke.  Good luck with you know who."
Mr. Krabs: Who's that?,Mrs. Puff.
"Mr. Krabs: Oh, yeah. Well, wish me luck, lad! Mrs. Puff:  Oh, Mr. Krabs!  This dinner has been so wonderful. The coral was cooked to perfection.  I don't think I could eat another bite. Mr. Krabs: Oh, I doubt that, my little shrimp boat. Mrs. Puff: You're spoiling me, Mr. Krabs. I mean,  foot rubs between courses.  Caricatures. Imported music. Mr. Krabs: Nothing's too good for you, my prickly peach. Mrs. Puff: Oh, what I'm trying to tell you, Mr. Krabs, is... Waiter: Uh, sir, your fancy pantsy limousine is here. Mr. Krabs: Wonderful! Pufflily-poo, your chariot awaits! Mrs. Puff: Well... Mr. Krabs: You'll never have to walk again, my little lobster bib. Waiter: Your bill, sir. Mr. Krabs:  What?  $100?! Well, this can't possibly be correct! Waiter: Oh, my mistake, sir. Thank you for pointing that out.  This is your bill.","I don't understand, Mr. Krabs. How can you spend $100,000 in one night?"
"Mr. Krabs:  Oh, SpongeBob! I couldn't help but spend every cent I had on her! I couldn't control myself!",What are you gonna do?
"Mr. Krabs: I don't know, boy! I've got another date tomorrow! I'm caught in the middle of me two great loves! Sweet Mrs. Puff, and the rest of me money!",I wish there was some way I could help.
"Mr. Krabs: Perhaps there is, boy!  I'm puttin' you in charge of me money.","I don't get it, Mr. Krabs."
"Mr. Krabs: You come with me on the date and don't let me spend any money.  Now remember, we keep it cheap by going to the park. And no matter how much I ask you, you don't give me any of me money. Now give me a dollar.",Nope.
"Mr. Krabs: Good boy! You'll do fine. Mrs. Puff:  Who is it? Mr. Krabs: It's me,  my beautiful bell buoy! Mrs. Puff: Just a minute! Mr. Krabs: Flowers! Flowers, boy! Go get flowers!",But you said...
"Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, you can't call on a classy lady like Mrs. Puff empty-handed. We ain't talking about this...  ...or this...  ...we're talking about this! Mrs. Puff:  Almost ready. Mr. Krabs: Hurry, boy! Get the flowers! Mr. Krabs: Mrs. Puff. You're as beautiful as ever. Mrs. Puff: That's funny. I thought I heard SpongeBob's voice. Mr. Krabs: Uh... you did. He'll be right back. He's our personal assistant for the day. Mrs. Puff: Oh, e-excuse me. I have to call my insurance agent. Mr. Krabs: Of course, my beautiful Puff.","Mr. Krabs,  I got the flowers you wanted me to buy."
Mr. Krabs:  What's that?,I got the flowers for Mrs. Puff.
"Mr. Krabs: We had an agreement, boy. You ain't supposed to spend any of me money!",But you said...
"Mrs. Puff:  Here I come! Mr. Krabs:  For you, Mrs. Puff! Mrs. Puff: Oh,  flowers. Oh, how thoughtful! Mr. Krabs:  And here's a box of chocolates.  SpongeBob, where's the chocolates?","Mr. Krabs, the budget doesn't allow for..."
"Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, you can't go to Mrs. Puff's house without chocolates. Hurry! Hurry!",I bought the biggest box they had!
"Mr. Krabs: Buy, buy, buy! Spend, spend, spend! Is that all you can think about?! Mrs. Puff:  Oh, Eugene! Mr. Krabs:  Here's those chocolates I bought for you. What are we doing today, Mrs. Puff? Dinner? Dancing? A trip to the moon?","Psst, Mr. Krabs, we're just going for a walk in the park, remember?"
"Mrs. Puff: Actually, a walk in the park sounds perfect. It's a beautiful day. I'll just need to get a sun hat and... Mr. Krabs:  Mrs. Puff needs a sun hat, SpongeBob!","Oh, I think she..."
Mr. Krabs: The sun is beatin' down on poor Mrs. Puff's head.,"As your financial advisor, I suggest..."
Mr. Krabs:  There's no time for suggestions! Go buy a hat!,But...
"Mr. Krabs: Today!  Don't worry, Mrs. Puff! I'll  shade ya! Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, hurry!",One shady hat.
"Mr. Krabs: Good job, lad. Mrs. Puff: Oh, well, thank you, but you didn't need to buy one. I have a hat in the closet. Mr. Krabs: Didn't need to buy one?  You hear that, boy?  We didn't need to buy a hat.  Aren't you supposed to be saving me money?!","I'm trying, Mr. Krabs! But you keep telling me to buy things for Mrs. Puff! It's all really confusing."
"Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, I'm sorry. This is my fault. I'm not thinking clearly. I'm making a sailor's promise, boy. From this moment on, I won't ask you to buy anything for Mrs. Puff! Narrator: A few moments later... Mr. Krabs:  SpongeBob! Mrs. Puff needs a new fur coat! Mr. Krabs: You're spending all me money!  Puffy needs a new pair of shoes! Mr. Krabs:  You're breaking me, boy!  She needs fine jewelry!  Not that fine!  SpongeBob!  SpongeBob! SpongeBob!  SpongeBob! SpongeBob!  SpongeBob! SpongeBob!  SpongeBob! SpongeBob!  SpongeBob! SpongeBob!  SpongeBob! SpongeBob!  SpongeBob! SpongeBob! SpongeBob! SpongeBob! SpongeBob! Mr. Krabs:  SpongeBob! I'm glad I caught you. I want you to buy Mrs. Puff...","Wait! Don't tell me. You want me to run down to the store and buy Mrs. Puff something she doesn't need! Then you want me to run back here so you can say,  Arrgh, SpongeBob! Yer spending all me money! And then I'll say, But Mr. Krabs, I'm only doing what you said! Then you'll say, We're not talking about this...  ...Or this...  ...we're talking about this!"
"Mr. Krabs: But, lad, this time's different! Mrs. Puff needs this! Mrs. Puff: Are we going to the park soon? Mr. Krabs: Please, lad, I'm begging you! I'm a lonely old crustacean who's found love! Don't let me lose her!","Mr. Krabs, don't. Don't cry, Mr. Krabs! Come on. Okay, I, I'm going to get it, see?  Cheer up, Mr. Krabs, Here's that washing machine you wanted."
Mr. Krabs: Cheer up? How can I cheer up... when you're spending all me hard-earned cash?!,See?! You just did it again!
"Mr. Krabs: Lad, I can't help it if you're loose with other people's money.  Do you think Mrs. Puff will need a dryer to go along with that?","Well, Mr. Krabs. Do you want to know what I think?  Arrgh! Regga flebba breeka brecka smullen-ellen Mr. Krabs! Yegga hegga mergin wallet! Dimmy middy spend! Rivy flivy diva shiva Mr. Krabs Wallet!"
"Mrs. Puff: I didn't know SpongeBob had such a colorful vocabulary. Actually, there's something I'd like to say, too, Mr. Krabs.  I'm afraid I just don't feel comfortable accepting all these gifts. I'd rather go Dutch, if you don't mind. Mr. Krabs: Uh, okay. Mrs. Puff: You're a very sweet man, Mr. Krabs. Mr. Krabs:  Aawww...","Wow, it's Sunday, Gary! Guess what's for breakfast?"
Gary: Meow.,"That's right!  A sundae!  Whoops... Looks like we're out of ice cream. Guess I'll have to use something else... Ketchup!  Hmmm... Bananas... Cherries... Boring.  Ah, here we go! Onions!  Ready, Gary?"
Gary: Meow.,"Just one more thing! Pea...  ...nuts. Gary!  Our peanuts jar is totally empty!  Hmmm...  Wait! I know one other place we can find peanuts.  Good thing I still have these peanut plants growing in the windowsill.  A little texture never hurt. There we go.  This sundae's gonna taste great!  Aren't you going to help me, Gary? Gary? Oh, well. More for me!  You know what they say, Gary. I'm easy like Sunday morning.  Okay, let's see my to-do list.  Go to work, go to work, go to work, go to work, go to work..  Wait, that's not right. I need the one for Sunday.  Ah, here we go. 'Say hi to everyone in Bikini Bottom'.  Hello.  Some people are even late on Sunday.  Hi, Mailfish.  Hi, Mrs. Crossing Guard!"
Mrs. Crossing Guard: Mother of mercy!,"Wow! A parade! Hi, parade!   Hi, tuba player, hi, drummer, hi, guy with the cymbals, hi, trumpeter, hi tambourine girl, hi, timbale man, hi, didgeridoo player,  hi, triangle player, hi, guy with the kettle drum, hi, pianist, hi, guy with the flute. And heeelllooo, Dolly!"
Fish bands: My leg! My leg!,"Was it something I said?  Something weird is going on today. Everyone is running away from me. And now...  ...giant piles of bubble gum?! Oh, what next?"
"Patrick: Hi, SpongeBob.","Oh, hi, Patrick. I'm confused."
"Patrick: Yes, I am.","Patrick, everyone is running away from me. Watch.  Hi, building!  I just don't get it."
Patrick: I don't either. Maybe it's the way you're dressed. Both: Nah. Patrick: Maybe it's your voice.,"Good one, Patrick."
"Patrick: Well, maybe it's just because you're ugly.",Ugly?  You gotta be kiddin' me..
Patrick: Better try the reflection test.,Hi.
Patrick: Ugly.,Oh no! I can't be ugly! I can't be! I can't be ugly!  Am I ugly?  Am I ugly?
Driver: My eyes! My eyes!,Oof I'm ugly...
"Patrick: SpongeBob, can I borrow some bath beads?  SpongeBob?",Go. Run away like all the others. No one would want a friend as ugly as I am.
"Patrick: Sure they would! It makes them feel better about the way they look! Maybe a story will cheer you up.  It's called, 'The Ugly Barnacle.'  Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died! The end.","That didn't help at all.  How long? How long have I been ugly, Patrick?"
"Patrick: As long as I can remember. You poor ugly thing, you.","Help me! I'm so ashamed! I'm spiraling! I'm spiraling!  Thanks, Patrick.  It's okay, Patrick. Spiraling, over."
"Patrick: Just do what I do when I have problems.  Scream!  Come on, buddy. I'll help you.  Okay, now, say it.  Say it.",I can't.
"Patrick: SpongeBob, you're never going to feel better unless you get this thing off your chest.","I know, Patrick."
Patrick: Say it. Say it.,I'm ugly.
Patrick: You're ugly and what...?,Square?
Patrick: No. Proud.,I'm ugly and I'm proud.
Patrick: Good! Say it louder.,I'm ugly and I'm proud.
Patrick: Louder.,I'm ugly and I'm proud.
Patrick: Louder!,I'm ugly and I'm proud!  I'm ugly and I'm proud! I'm ugly and I'm proud!
Squidward: Is that what he calls it?,That felt great! I feel empowered.
Patrick: So whaddya wanna do now?,I don't know. How about a movie?  Pardon me. Ugly sponge coming through.
Patrick: People respect self esteem.,"Hi. I am very ugly. But you should enjoy the movie anyway.  Excuse me, sir. I hope my horrible ugliness won't be a distraction to you."
"Fred: Not at all, boy.  Deuueaugh! Patrick:  Don't worry about him, SpongeBob. He's just a-  SpongeBob? SpongeBob, what's wrong?","I can't do this, Patrick! I've tried, and I've tried,  but I'm not always as confident as I look. Maybe I'd better just go back and hide."
"Patrick:  What is wrong with you people?!  Afraid to look ugliness in the face?  Well, here! Look at it!  It's ugly, isn't it?!  You look at it!",Hello.
Patrick: You look at it!,Hi.
Patrick:  Look at it!  Look at it! Look at it! Look at it! I want all of you to look at it!,"They all ran away, Patrick."
Patrick: I bet there's no line at the snack bar.  Hello...? Hello...? They must be on break.,"Oh, wait, Patrick! I just remembered.  I've got some of my peanut-onion sundae we can share!"
"Patrick: That looks great!  Oh, I gotta go to the restroom!  I'm out of soap, can I borrow- Wobbles: Stay back! Patrick: I just want some- Wobbles: Here! Here's my money!  Take it! Take it and go away! Patrick: My hands aren't that dirty...  Hey, you guys want to hear a bathroom joke? Clay: You tryin' to kill us?! Patrick:  Oh... Oh! I caught the ugly!","Patrick, is everything okay in here?  What are you doing in there, Patrick?"
Patrick: Wouldn't you like to know?,And why is that bag on your head?
"Patrick: Why? Oh, no reason. Except you gave me the ugly!  What am I gonna do? I can't go out looking like this!",Just remember what we talked about. There's power in pride.
"Patrick: That may be fine for you, but I was one of the beautiful people. Now look at me!  I'm almost as ugly as you! I always thought if I was as ugly as that guy, I don't know what I'd do.",Patrick...?
Patrick: What's my mom gonna say?,Patrick?
"Patrick: Oh my gosh, if my sister finds out, wait, I don't have a sister, if the bank, I mean it's one thing if you have bad shoes or even bad hair, but...",Patrick!  You're not ugly. Your breath stinks. Really bad.
"Patrick: Ahhhhhhhh, what a relief...","Arrgh, barnacles, Patrick! What did you eat?!"
"Patrick: Oh, some roast beef, some chicken, a pizza...","No, I mean just this morning."
"Patrick: Some roast beef, some chicken, a pizza...",What else?
"Patrick: Well, I had some of your sundae.",Sundae...  Patrick! My sundae gave us rancid breath!
Patrick: Whatcha mean?,"I mean, we're not ugly, we just stink!"
Patrick: Stink? Both: We stink! We stink! We stink! We stink! We stink! We stink!,"Oh, guess what, Squidward?"
Both: We stink!  Oh yeah! We're smelly! I reek! Smell me!,"Gary, come and get it!  Gary? Gary? Gary? Gary? Gary?  Gary must have gotten an early start.  Rise and shine, Squidward! You don't wanna be late again.  Okay, see you at the Krusty Krab.  I guess Squidward needs his beauty sleep. Not everyone is blessed with my natural good looks.  Patrick, it's morning! You don't want to forget to wake up again.  Patrick? Okay, see you after work, sleepy head.  Slow day. Good night, Squidward. Good night, Mr. Krabs.  Gary, I'm home! Gary? You here, buddy?  Gary?  He hasn't touched his food!  Squidward! Open up!  Squidward, have you seen Gary? He's gone missing!  Squidward? Not a sign of Squidward anywhere. Squidward?  You up here? Hmm, Squidward's clarinet.  It's not even warm. Squidward's missing, too!  Patrick, open up! Squidward and Gary are missing!  Patrick's gone, too. What if everybody's gone?!  Mr. Krabs!  He's gone, too!  Sandy! She's gone.  Where did everybody go?!  Go! Go! Go! Everybody's gone! But I swear that I will keep the memory of Bikini Bottom alive, by living out their lives for them.  SpongeBob, will you be quiet? You're disrupting my genius.  Mr. Krabs, sir, can I have a raise?  No! Now get to work!  Yes, sir, Mr. Krabs, sir!  Excuse me, sonny, may I have a Krabby Patty Deluxe please?  Right away, sir! I mean... whatever. Hey, SpongeBob, we got an order for a Krabby Patty Deluxe. Heaven knows why.  Coming up, Squidward!  Excuse me, Sandy, but may I have some more of this delicious iced tea?  Why sure! Whoops, just a sec.  Why sure now, SpongeBob.  Good morning, class. Can anyone tell me the first thing you do when riding a boat?  Ahem, floor it?  That's right, you floor it. Excellent work, SpongeBob!  Why thank you, Mrs....  Pu... Pu... Puff!  This is pointless! I'm not Mrs. Puff! I can't replace everyone! I'll never be happy again!  Ooh, my driver's license!  That's the baby.  Hi, fella, it's me.  It's okay, I'm licensed.  Oh yeah, listen to that purr! La-la-la-  -la-la-la...  Good night, Boaty.  No! No!  No!  Oh, Gary, I had a nightmare that all my friends were gone! And I was driving a-!  So it was true! I... guess it's just you and me now, Boaty.  This is where I work. Do you want to help me cook up some Krabby Patties? Great!  Back when everyone was around, they used to enjoy these. Here, try one.  What? You don't like Krabby Patties? Huh! Well, I guess we can still make this work.  Whew. Boy, we learned a lot about each other today. You know? I thought I'd go crazy without all my friends and acquaintances around, but it looks like you were all I needed to stay sane!  What? A puppet of my old best friend?  Made entirely out of Krabby Patty Meat?  Oh, Boaty, you are a card.  Sorry I'm late, Patrick. Boaty was telling me a joke."
Krabby Patty Patrick: You're awfully chummy with that guy for someone who has it out for you.,"Who, Boaty?  Oh no. He's... Really?"
Krabby Patty Patrick: I can't talk now. He's watching us.,"Wait, Patrick! Don't go!  Huh? Nothing! Boaty! I... I'm just going to bed."
Narrator: Three days later...,"Dear diary, not sure if I can trust any vehicle. Run for it as soon as the coast is clear.      Huh?"
"Mr. Krabs: Sheesh. Calm down, boy.","You're all still alive? Well, where did you go?"
Mr. Krabs: It was National No SpongeBob Day.,National No SpongeBob Day?
Mr. Krabs: Yeah. A whole day dedicated to getting away from you.,A day? But you guys have been gone for weeks.
Mr. Krabs: Uhh... yeah well... we kinda milked it a little.,"You too, Patrick?"
Patrick: Yeah. Everyone needs at least one day away from...,I'm... glad you had fun.
"Mr. Krabs: Aww, cheer up, boy. It's a whole day inspired by you.",Really?
"Mr. Krabs: Of course.  First, we build a giant wooden effigy of you, then we burn it to the ground.  Whoo-hoo! Burn, baby!  And dance on the ashes like there was no tomorrow.",Wow. A whole day dedicated to me.
"Patrick: Big deal. Wait 'til you see No Patrick Day. Come on, everyone. Let's go!  Where'd everybody go? Hello? Hello? TV Announcer: And now, back to Crustacean Crime Theater. Shellnapping Victim: Stop! Thief! Cop #1: Which way did he go? Shellnapping Victim:  He went that way! Cop #2: Let's get 'em, boys! Thief:  Curses! Foiled again! Mr. Krabs: What a no-good eel-in-the-kelp that guy was!  There ain't nothing worse than a thief! Thieves need to be locked up forever! They should all be strung up by their gills and forced to breathe air!","But, Mr. Krabs, what about all the stuff you stole?"
Mr. Krabs: What do you mean?,"Like that barrel.  It says, Property of Salty Sea Farms."
"Mr. Krabs: Oh, that's where I rent me pickles from.","Are you renting the barrel, too?"
"Mr. Krabs: Well, no.",Then you bought it?
Mr. Krabs: No.,"Then, isn't that stealing?"
"Mr. Krabs: Well, I, uh... Patrick:  What about this towel from the Sizzling Spring Sauna? Mr. Krabs: Um... Well..",And this Bikini Bell phone.
"Mr. Krabs: Well, uh, it's Patrick:  And Sandy's hedge clippers. Mr. Krabs: Oh, they're...",...And Plankton's lawn mower.
"Mr. Krabs: Well, he...",Even Mrs. Puff's hair curlers.
"Mr. Krabs:  That one was a gift!  Listen, all that stuff is, uh... borrowed.","Borrowed? Well, that's a relief. I thought you took it without  permission."
"Mr. Krabs:  Ah, permission shmermission! You can borrow anything you want, anytime, as long as if you give it back  before it's missed.  Everyone knows that! Right? SpongeBob and Patrick:  Okay! Mr. Krabs: All right then!  Hugs?  You put in  a hard day's work, boys! Patrick: But I don't work here! Mr. Krabs: See you later! Oh, that was a close one.",What do you want to do today?
Patrick: I don't know. What do you want to do today?,I don't know. What do you want to do today?
Patrick: I don't know. What do you want to do today?,I don't know. What do you want to do today?
"Patrick: I KNOW WHAT I WANT TO DO TODAY.  I need some money.  Uh.  Oh.  Oh...   I don't have any money.  SpongeBob, I want a balloon really, really badly!  Really, really badly!","It's okay, Patrick.  There's lots of money in the First National Bank of SpongeBob.  Follow me!  Uh-oh. I'm broke, too.  Maybe we could borrow money from Squidward?"
"Patrick: No, wait!  Instead of borrowing the money, why don't we just borrow the balloon?!","Yeah, like Mr. Krabs!"
"Patrick: It's just borrowing, right?","Yeah, and borrowing is okay as long as we bring it back, right?"
Patrick: Right! Patrick: This is so great!,We're going to have so much fun! First we can run with the balloon!
"Patrick: Yeah, then we can go to the beach with the balloon!",Yeah! then we can take a bike ride with the balloon. Then we can go to the movies and the arcade and the ice rink and the pizza shop!
"Patrick: And the moon and the sky and under a car, behind the dumpster!",And the candy shop!
Patrick: And then my backyard!,And in a plane!
Patrick: And over a rock!,And under a hill!
Patrick: And with a whale! SpongeBob and Patrick: WE LOVE BORROWING!!!,It popped...
"Patrick: How are we going to return it now, SpongeBob?",I got the pieces!
Patrick:  I got the air!,"Hurry, put the pieces on!  We popped the balloon!"
Patrick: Ga-heh!,We can't return it!
Patrick: Wha-guh!,We're thieves!
Patrick: Hi-yo-hoo!,We have to confess.
"Patrick: Confess? Are you outta your mind? Do you have any idea what they do to people like us? We're not talking about some dumb mail fraud scheme or a hijacking here,   WE STOLE A BALLOON!   And they're going to lock us up forever.","You're right,   we've just got to keep our heads. Act normal."
"Frankie Billy: Wow, street performers! SpongeBob and Patrick:  It's not working! Aaahhh!! Lou: Hi there! Lou: Hey! Don't you want a free balloon? It's National Free Balloon Day! Patrick: He's onto us!",It's not safe for Bikini Bottom anymore. We've got to move fast and cover our tracks.
"Patrick:  I'm on it, SpongeBob!",Take a last look Patrick. We can never go back.
"Patrick:  Goodbye, Bikini Bottom.",We've only got ourselves and what we can carry on our backs.
Patrick:  Yup.,We're going to have to travel lighter.
Patrick: I want to go home.,"We can never go home, Pat. We're wanted men.  We'll spend the rest of our lives running...running, but at least it's warm around the fire."
"Patrick: Hey, if we're underwater, how could there be a...? Patrick: I'm scared, SpongeBob!","No more nice, warm beds."
Patrick: Huh?,No more Krabby Patties.
Patrick: Oh!,No more getting mail!  No more Gary!   No more movies!  No more Squidward!   No more Sandy or Pearl or Mr. Krabs!   No more anything!
Patrick:  I want ice cream!,"But it doesn't have to be all bad, right? I mean... at least we have each other."
Patrick:  Yeah!,"And all that running is good for your buns and thighs, right?"
"Muscleman: Ja! Buns und t'ighs. Patrick:  And the bitter cold, it's bracing, isn't it?!",Yeah! Maybe being a felon could be...  ...fun!  We can loosen our ties!
Patrick: YEAH!  And we can fly!,Yeah!!  AAAAAAHHHHH!  Okay... we still can't do that!   But we don't have to shave...
"Patrick:  I'm way ahead of you, buddy!",And you get to talk tough!   This town ain't big enough for the two of us.
"Patrick: Uh, let me try:  Uh...hey, punk.","And the best part is: now that we're felons, we don't have to return anything we borrowed!"
SpongeBob and Patrick:  Yeah! Patrick: And we owe it all to  you.,What are you talking about? Taking the balloon was your evil plan.
"Patrick: Oh, I'm nothing but a lot of talk! You're the one with the sticky fingers.","Aw, Patrick...  you're the best bad influence ever!"
"Patrick: You, too!  I wish we had something to eat, though.",Look what I've got!
Patrick:  Rectangles!,Not just any rectangles.  Candy bars!
Patrick: Oh!,All we have to do is make them last for the rest of our lives!
Patrick: Thanks SpongeBob. I think I'll eat it now!  I think I'll eat it now.  Ow! Huh?  Where'd my candy bar go?  I must have dropped it.,"You just ate it, Pat. It's all over your face."
Patrick:  Where'd it go? I'm gonna starve.  Where'd it go? Patrick: I can't find it!  Where could it possibly be?  Aha!,What?
Patrick: You stole my candy bar.,"No, I didn't."
"Patrick: Oh, so that's how it is, huh? Once a thief, always a thief.","You ate yours,  this is mine."
Patrick: You took my only food.  Now I'm gonna starve!,"Here Patrick, just take half of mine."
Patrick: Yours?! You mean mine!,Do you want it or what?!
Patrick: I don't want it unless you admit you took it!,This is my candy bar!
"Patrick: LIAR, LIAR, PLANTS FOR HIRE!","...it's pants on fire, Patrick."
"Patrick: Well, you would know... liar.","Well, if you're going to be that way... I'll eat it myself!"
Patrick: You better not.    I'm warning you!,Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah...
Patrick: Don't!   STOP IT!  Don't!  Oh! Patrick:  Ahhhhhhh!  Noooo!   You're a crazy person. I should have expected this after the way you stole that balloon.,"Did I, Patrick, did I? Or did your criminal mind hypnotize me to steal it?!"
"Patrick: Oh, that's it.  First the balloon, now my candy bar. You're out of control. I'm...  I'm telling on you!",Not if I tell on you first!
Patrick: I'll beat you there!,You're going to get in trouble!
"Patrick: No! You are!! SpongeBob and Patrick: He! When! Him!  And the balloon! And the boom! I... Officer Rob: What can I do for you, boys? SpongeBob and Patrick:  WE STOLE A BALLOON!!! Patrick:  I'm not good!",We stole a balloon!
"Officer John:  What's the problem here? Officer Rob: Well, it appears these two stole a balloon.",What are you going to do to us?
"Officer Rob:  Okay, follow me.   If you can't do the time, don't do the crime.  Okay, time's up.  Now, get out!",But...But...we stole a balloon.
"Officer Rob: Yeah, on Free Balloon Day! How about some lollipops for the road, boys?",Let's vow never to borrow anything without permission again.
"Patrick: You said it!  All right! Which one of you flat-floots stole my lollipop?   I mean it. Plankton: Karen, I— Karen:  Oh, sorry, Planky-Bear!  I'm just a little distracted waiting for our baby to be delivered. Plankton: Oh, well, that makes sense.  A baby?! I don't want a baby! Karen: It's too late to stop it now.  It's been nine months and the baby is no longer on back order. Plankton: Can we ask for store credit instead? Karen: My baby's here! Plankton: Not if I have anything to say about it. Karen:  Oh, Planky-Poo, look how cute our baby is! Plankton: Oh, please, that thing isn't even a graphing calculator. Weak. Karen: Oh, come on.  How can you look at our baby's itty wittle keyboard and say he's not the cutest?  I have the perfect name for him. Well, don't you wanna know the name? Plankton: Not really. Karen: It's Chip.  He's named after my grandfather. Plankton:  Great, here we go with the crying! Will you please hush that thing up?! Karen: There you go. All better. Plankton: Wow, how did you do that so fast? Karen: Simple, I just typed 4-4-4-5 in his cute little keyboard. Plankton: I don't get it. Karen:  Shhh. Plankton:  At least it can't get more annoying.","Hello! A little drone told me you two are new parents. So, I just had to bring over a little present for the baby. Hello, baby."
"Karen: Oh, I think little Chip likes you. Plankton: Obviously not the brightest diode in the box.","Look, Chip, your uncle SpongeBob got you a little something.  It's a can of compressed air to keep your keys nice and clean, like this!"
"Plankton: Phew. Karen: Come on, walk to Mommy. Karen: That's it. You can do it. Karen: You're walking, baby! Plankton:  You call that walking? This is walking.  This is how you do it. This is how it's done. Karen: Ah! Mama's big boy is upgrading! Karen: Aw. Plankton: Whoa, ah!  This stinks! Karen: Let's see if we can find some friends for Mama's special little boy.  You need to interface with someone fun. Try that video game over there. It doesn't look too dangerous. Karen: Careful, Chip. Karen: Uh, those monsters are too big. Come out of that game right now! Karen: Chip, get out of there! Karen:  So you think you can do whatever you want because you're a teenager now? You just wait until I tell your father. Karen: What did you just say to me?! Karen: I told Chip that game was too dangerous, and do you know what he said to me? Plankton: And? Karen:  Just talk to your son! I need to cool my circuits. Plankton:  Ooh, uh, hey, buddy. Heh, what you doing? Chip:  Eh… Plankton: Yeah, I hear you. So, uh, what happened at the arcade? Plankton: What? You mother stopped your game, even though you were crushing it? Your mother clearly doesn't get you, man. But I have the perfect solution to your problem. Run away. Chip: Huh? Plankton: Yes, I said run away. Take off, see the world. You do you. Plankton: Eh, now get out of here, you little scamp. Karen: So, how was your talk with Chip? Plankton: Oh, it went great. He's a good boy. Karen: Yeah, he wh—  Where—where is he? Plankton: Oh, he ran away. Karen: What?! Why would my baby run away? Plankton: Because I told him to. Duh. Plankton: Karen, baby, let's be reasonable here! Karen:  You find our son and bring him home this instant or don't bother coming home! Plankton:  I'm going! I'm going! Plankton: Chip! Chip! Where are you, boy? Come to Daddy! Ugh, what am I saying? Chip! Chip! Weird machine: Psst, hey, kid, you lost? Chip:  Meh. Weird machine: Running away from home, huh? Cool! Why don't you come hang with me and my buddies?  Oh, don't be scared. In here. Check it out, guys. I found us a new friend. Weird machine: I know, right? It is cool here. There's just one thing. If you wanna be part of us, we're gonna need your parts. Machine #1: Uh-oh. Weird machine:  Oh, come on, kid, don't be like that. We've all done it. Weird machine: Get him! Plankton: Chip! Your mother's gonna kill me if I can't find you.  Huh?  That's him! He's in trouble! Don't worry, son! Daddy is coming!  Get away from my son!  Get away from me! Chip: Father!  Leave my father alone! Plankton:  Your first word was father. Wait until I rub this in Karen's face. Weird machine: No! The delicious horror!  Ah! Plankton: Oh, you should've seen it, Karen. Chip was all like, Stay away from my daddy, who is the most brilliant, handsome genius in the world. Karen:  Oh, brother. Plankton:  Aw, we have got the best kid ever! Karen: Oh!  Aw. Plankton:  Come on, son, let your old man buy you a quart of oil.  Whoo-hoo!  Yes! Chip:  Sorry, Dad, I'd love to, but I'm leaving for college. Plankton:  I went to college. French narrator: Eight semesters later... Plankton:  Ouch! Watch it, Karen! We don't want Chip to know we're spying on his first day of work. Chip:  Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. Mr. Krabs: Hey, what? Mr. Krabs: Hey!  Hey! Give me my money! Plankton:  That's my boy! Narrator: Snark Chat with Bubble Bass. Bubble Bass: And we're back. My first guest had dinner with me just last night. He's a close personal friend of mine. Please welcome the Krabby Patty.  Great to have you back on the program. Krabby Patty: Great to be here, BB. Bubble Bass: Well, I'm sorry to say it, but last night, you were not quite as delicious as one would hope. Krabby Patty: Oh, don't worry, I'm sure Mr. Krabs will give you a refund. Mama Bass: Bubble Bass, who are you talking to down there? Bubble Bass: Mother! Please stop trying to undermine my fantasy talk show!  Mmph. Mama Bass: You march yourself upstairs this instant! Take out the garbage, dry the dishes, and walk the worm! Bubble Bass: Ooh, I don't feel like it!  Huh?  That tears it, Mother!  I am moving out! Mama Bass: Moving? Hah! You can't even do your own laundry! Bubble Bass:  All I need to do is find two able-bodied idiots. But where am I to find such stupidity on such short notice? Hm...","Whoops.  Sorry, Bubble Bass."
"Bubble Bass: Why you two able-bodied idiots! I—   Ooh.  Why, SpongeBob and Patrick, my occasional friends. How would you two like to earn a free lunch? Patrick: Freeeeeee lunch! ' Bubble Bass:  All righty, we're moving all of my belongings out of my mother's basement into my grandmother's basement across town. Let's start with my lounge.","Okay, Patrick, up with the loveseat."
Bubble Bass:  Ow! My bad back! I guess you two will have to move everything without me. So I'll meet you both at this address.,But don't you have to pack your things before we can move 'em?
"Bubble Bass: Ooh, ahh, I guess you'll have to pack my stuff too. But remember with gastric prizes await your mouths.","Oh, Patrick"
Bubble Bass:,"Okay, Patrick, let's get p-p-p-packing!"
Patrick:,Oh... 
"Patrick: All right, that's the last of it.","Whew, I hope we didn't leave anything behind."
Old Man Jenkins: Both:,"Oh pardon us, ma'am, but could you walk around?"
"Ms. Mildred: Walk around? Hmph, I'm Lady Upturn the 333rd, and you want me to walk around?  I'm afraid you just have to back it up.","Back it up?  Okay. Back it up, Patrick."
Patrick: What'd you say?,"Oh, oh, oh!"
Ms. Mildred: Both (SpongeBob and Patrick): Ms. Mildred: Oh! Both (SpongeBob and Patrick):   Huh?,"Phew, hey, Patrick, from now on, we gotta be more careful. Huh? Patrick..."
Patrick:,"Oh, focus, Patrick, focus!"
Patrick: Okay.,"Ah, that's perfect."
Both: Babies: Bag: Random People: Patrick:  SpongeBob? Where are you?,I'm down here.
"Patrick:  Shall we, SpongeBob?","We shall, Patrick"
Both: Babies: Both: Babies? No! Babies: Both: Whoa!,"Hmm...Hm?  Hey, this is the address! We made it, Patrick! Nice aim, babies!"
"Patrick: Hooray! Now, where's that free lunch?","Focus! Let's get all this stuff inside the house, then we can eat. Hmm, hmm."
"Patrick: Hmm, hmm. Both:","Oh, Bubble Bass, special delivery.  Hmm? Okay, Patrick, push it!"
Both: Patrick:    And that's how you do it.,"Uh-oh, Patrick. Look what we did to Bubble Bass's granny's house."
Fruit man: This wasn't Bubble Bass's grandmother's house. That is!  This was my house!,"Well, that's a relief. For a minute there, I thought we did something wrong."
Both: Whew. Fruit man: Both:,"Don't look down, Patrick!"
Patrick:  I turned off my eyes.,"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Oh!  Uh-oh, Patrick, I think I have the—   Hiccups."
Patrick: Hiccups? I want some. I'm so hungry!,"Here comes another one, Patrick."
Patrick:,"Thanks, buddy. We're almost there. Just a few more steps, and we'll claim that free lunch."
Patrick: Yeah— Both:,"Well, this is a dilly of a pickle."
"Babies: Ms. Mildred: Back it up! Both: Ms. Mildred: Back it up! Babies: Ms. Mildred: Both (SpongeBob and Patrick):  Oof, ta-da, Oof. Bubble Bass: I hope you didn't damage my goods.","Oh, your goods are all good, Bubble Bass. And we sure build up an appetite for that free lunch."
"Patrick:  If my friend SpongeBob doesn't get his free lunch,  things are gonna get crazy!","That was the meanest thing I ever saw, Bubble Bass. You, sir, have crossed the line of aquatic decency. You might think you took a couple of bottom feeders like us for a ride today, but I got a newsflash for you, slappy. These bottom-feeders wouldn't eat your free lunch if you paid us."
Patrick: I would.,"Come, Patrick. I'll make you a free Krabby Patty for $2.50 plus tax."
"Bubble Bass:  Well, you pulled it off, Bubble Bass. And you didn't even have to flick a fin. Mama Bass:  Bubble Bass, why do you think it's funny to pack your mother in a box and drag her all over town?! Bubble Bass:  Mother?! Mama Bass:  We'll just see how you like it! Bubble Bass: I didn't do it!  Ow!  Mother, please—   It was SpongeBob and Patrick!  I'll dry the dishes, Mommy.  I love you, Mommy. Mr. Krabs: Stop, thief! Come back here with me formula! Mr. Krabs: He's over there! Stop him! Plankton:  I can't help it. I'm a kleptomaniac! Plankton:  Ow! Police Officer: You're under arrest! Plankton:  But I'm innocent! Police Officer: No one is innocent! Plankton: Whoa. Things got dark fast. Mr. Krabs:  ♪You're going to jail! You're going to jail!♪ Join in the dancing, boy, or you're fired.  ♪You're going to jail! You're going to jail! You're going to jail! You're going to jail!♪ Police Officer: Step back, buddy! Let the law handle this. Mr. Krabs:  Yes, officer. Police Officer:  And I'll be taking this! Mr. Krabs: Wait! That's me secret formula! Police Officer:  Well, now it's evidence.  Oh. Plankton:  Ow!",The formula! I can't cook without that formula!  I can't don't anything without it! The Krabby Patties are gonna taste like ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-chum!
Mr. Krabs: Wait! Don't go! We still have fresh buns. And we have air conditioning. Ohh... Come here! You and me are getting into that police department to get that formula back!,How?
Mr. Krabs: By dressing like the po-po.,"The po-po? Oh, no, no."
"Mr. Krabs:  No, no po-po—no job-o for you-o. Comprendo?",So-so.  But I'll go-go.
"Police Officer: Turn to your left. Plankton: What is this? Police Officer: Mug shot. Plankton:  Looks nothing like me. Police Officer:  Low life. Plankton: You'd live a low life too, officer, if you were my height!  Could have given me a bigger blanket! Police Officer: One too many Goofy Goobers again, eh, Patrick? Patrick:  No, sir, I couldn't eat another. Police Officer: Get in there and sleep it off. Plankton: Not exactly the blanket I wanted.",Isn't it a crime to impersonate a police officer?
"Mr. Krabs: We're not impersonating, boy-o. I was in the navy, and the navy is sort of like the cops...of the sea. And I just deputized you.","Deput—wow! I always wanted to be an officer of the law! Check it out.  I'm the fuzz. Ooh, look at this!  I'm also a flat foot!  Watch me work.  Mr. Mime, you have the right to remain silent.  Stop or I'll shoot...you a nasty look."
"Mr. Krabs: Huh?  Hey, let go! Cops don't hold hands.",Well...they should.
"Mr. Krabs: Bring it in, Officer Little Buddy! Mr. Krabs: What? Cops can hug. You know, boy-o, we probably make some pretty good cops.","Hm? Ohh. What have we got here? Excuse me, miss. Have you got a license to sell these cookies?"
"Mr. Krabs: Officer SquarePants, I don't think we ought to—","Let me handle this, Officer Mr. Krabs! Well, missy, do ya?"
Helen the Felon: I don't have a license.,"Yeah, that's what I thought. You're under arrest for violating penal code 4968973025-D."
Mr. Krabs: How did you know that?,That's classified.
"Patrick: Oh, I love it here. We have owers, uh, a courtyard, and three square meals a day.  All chum...Ahh. Plankton: I know. They're my only customer. Patrick:  This is the best part!  Pretty cool, huh? Plankton: If you attempt to use that in front of me, I'll annihilate you.","Central booking, also known as the cop shop."
Mr. Krabs: How do you know all these words?,Still classified.
"Officer John Slugfish: Well, if it isn't little Helen the Felon.  Good work, boys. You nabbed the most notorious criminal in Bikini Bottom.",Huh? This sweet little thing?
"Officer John Slugfish: You can drop the act now, Helen. Mr. Krabs: Hey! Officer John Slugfish:  That's my girl. All right, take her to the interrogation room. Mr. Krabs: While I look for the formula, you can interrogate the suspect.",But I don't know how to interrogate.
Mr. Krabs: Then just ask questions.  And act tough.,"Um...questions and act tough. Got it.  Hmm...  Okay, little Helen!  What do you think of this weather?"
Helen the Felon: I think it's wuh-vey! Let me ask you something. How long have you been an idiot?,I want a lawyer.
Helen the Felon: Just answer the question!,"An idiot? I don't know! Is it hot in here?  Pressure—I can't—okay, I'll confess! I'll confess to it all! Anything! Whatever you got!"
"Plankton: That's it. Keep up that cacophony. Your noise is drowning out my filing. Patrick:  My stomach needs frozen treats. Patrick's stomach: Frozen treats. Patrick:  Huh! I'm gonna have to make myself some jailhouse ice cream. Patrick: Try it! You can't even tell the difference. Plankton: Blech! No, thanks. But, say, I know where they keep the real ice cream around here: in the evidence room. A guy like you who knows his way around here might be able— Patrick:  I have a key. Plankton: Oh, really? Let's go! Mr. Krabs: Donuts?  Whoa!  Hm. Well...maybe just one.  Evidence room!  Huh? Patrick: You promised me ice cream! Hmph! Plankton:  Look, once I get the secret formula and rule the world, I'll buy you all the ice cream you want!  Let's see. Comic books, sea shells...an old man... Old Man Jenkins: Hello! Plankton: Outboard motors...stolen jokes...a leg... Fred:  My leg! Plankton: Hmm? Well, drop a dime on me! There it is! Mr. Krabs: Oh, no, you don't! Plankton: Krabs? What are you doing here? I stole that formula fair and square! Mr. Krabs: Well, I'm stealing it back! Plankton: Oh, no, you not! Old Man Jenkins: Hello! Old Man Jenkins: Hello! Old people: Hello! Mr. Krabs: Who's been pinching all these geezers? Patrick:  Where's my ice cream? Where's my ice cream? Where— Ohh! Well, there it is. Mr. Krabs: What are you doing, you maniac?! Help! Police! Mr. Krabs: What do you think you're— Officer John Slugfish: I don't know what you two are doing, but it looks illegal.",I have a confession to make!
Officer John Slugfish: I'll just hold onto this formula till the morning.,"Oh, but, officer, I have more confessions."
"Officer John Slugfish: Zip it, kid! I get it. You're a criminal mastermind.",Guilty! Yay!
"Plankton: Hey, where's Patrick?","Well, I must confess, this is sure cozy."
Narrator: It is a very special day in Bikini Bottom.,"I'm ready!  I'm ready! I'm ready! Patrick, did you bring my flashcards?"
"Patrick: Right here, buddy.  Everything you need to pass the test is on these cards.  Mmm.","No, Patrick!"
"Patrick: Hey, learning tastes good.","Patrick, I needed those."
"Patrick: Oh, fiddlesticks. You've taken that driving test more times than anyone.",57 times.
"Patrick: Well, then 58 is your lucky number. You're gonna pass that driving test, SpongeBob, because you're a winner.",I'm a winner?
Patrick: Who's a winner?,I'm a winner.
Patrick: Who's a winner?,I'm a winner.
Patrick: Who's a winner?!,I'm a winner! I'm a winner! I'm a winner!
"Narrator: One minute thirty seven seconds later... Patrick: How'd you do, winner?  Let's see that license.","I didn't get a license, Patrick."
Patrick: Are they gonna mail it to you?,"No, Patrick, I failed the boating test. I guess 58 wasn't my lucky number after all."
"Patrick: No way! 58 is, like, the luckiest number ever! The test must be rigged.","Let's just go home, Patrick."
"Patrick: We're not going anywhere until I get to the bottom of this. I'm taking that test, myself.","No, Patrick! I've been training for years. They'll eat you alive."
"Patrick: Please, SpongeBob. I think I know what I'm doing.","No, Patrick. No!"
"Mrs. Puff:  Good morning. Patrick: You're not the judge of me! Mrs. Puff: Actually, I am. Let the testing begin!",I shouldn't have let him do it. What kind of friend am I?
Patrick: SpongeBob! SpongeBob!,"I'm here for you, buddy."
Patrick: I passed my test!,You got a perfect score?
"Patrick: Yeah, I thought you said it was hard.",Perfect score.
"Patrick: Come on, I'm gonna get my picture taken for my new license. Miss Shell: Stand behind the line, sir. Patrick:  How do I look?",Like a winner.
Miss Shell: Ready? Patrick: Ready.,Huh?
"Fish: Congratulations, Mr. Star. You're the one millionth person to pass the test. Patrick: Does that mean I get a free key chain? Fish: Uhh, no. Patrick: Oh. Fish: You get a brand-new boat mobile. The new Bass Blaster 3000. The ultimate boating machine. Patrick: Yeah! All right! Fish: Women will want you.  Men will want to be you.  You'll be the envy of your friends. Patrick: Isn't this great? I got my license and a new boat.",I'm so happy for you...  Whoa!
"Patrick: The horn works.  Woo! This is the greatest day ever. Right, SpongeBob?","Right, Patrick. I can't think of one thing that would make this day better. Except maybe getting my license."
Patrick: Maybe if you apply yourself you could be the two millionth person to get his license.,Two millionth?
Patrick: Then you can get a free boat just like me.,"Yeah, just like you."
Patrick: I try to serve as an inspiration to others.,Can we go home now?  We've been driving around your house for hours.
"Patrick: I know. It's a lot faster than walking, isn't it?","Thanks for the ride, Patrick."
"Patrick: No problem, buddy. You can't help being a... pedestrian.","Patrick, what are you doing?"
"Patrick: I'm trying to work on my boat mobile. Now could you keep it down? It's 3:00 in the morning, people are trying to sleep.","4:00?  Who could be at the door at this hou—  Now what is it, Patrick?"
Patrick: You will never guess what happen to me today.,You got your license.
Patrick: Yeah!  But that's not all.,You got a new boat.
"Patrick: Yeah. Have you been following me? You know, you need to get your own life.",Oh... I just need a few minutes sleep.
Gary: Meow.,"Yes, Gary, I saw his new boat.  I'm so tired."
"Patrick: Hey, buddy. Need a ride to work?","Thanks, Patrick, but I'd rather walk to work."
"Patrick: Boy, I never realized how empty life is without a license.",Thanks for the ride.
"Patrick: No problem, buddy. You can give me rides once you get your license. I mean, if you get your license.",That's it. I am through driving around with Patrick. If I have to see one more boat mobile...
"Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, you're manning the drive-thru.",When did we get a drive-thru?
Mr. Krabs: I realized there's a lot of young people on the go these days. They don't have time to sit down and eat. They're too busy out on the open road living their dreams.,I used to have a dream.
Mr. Krabs: Yeah? I used to have a kidney stone. Everything passes eventually. Now stop dreaming and work for a living.,"Welcome to the Krusty Krab, may I—"
"Patrick: The horn still works.  Hey, SpongeBob.","What's with the helmet, Patrick?"
"Patrick: Well, since I'm now an expert driver, I have to keep up my image.",Uh-huh.
"Patrick: Boy, driving is so easy.",Oh?
Patrick: Do you want me to give you lessons?,"Oh, that would be great."
Patrick: Oh!,Patrick!
"Patrick: Hi, mommy. Hi, daddy. Mr. SquarePants: Patrick, how many times do we have to tell you we're SpongeBob's mom and dad, not yours? Patrick: What? I'm an orphan? Oh, but guess what? I passed my driver's test. Mrs. SquarePants: That's great, Patrick. Patrick: SpongeBob failed his test, so don't mention it. Mrs. SquarePants: Oh, we know how to stay clear of that minefield.",Mom!
"Patrick: Well, I've got to take Mr. Walks-a-lot back home. He's always asking for rides.",Hey.
Mr. SquarePants: Even Patrick has a license. Patrick: Let's see what this baby can do.,"Patrick, the speed limit is 40mph."
"Patrick: Yeah, yeah.",40.5mph? That's almost 41mph. He's speeding. Patrick! Stop this car.
Patrick: What? Where? Who?,"Officer, it is my civilian duty to report that the driver of this vehicle is speeding. Why don't you clock him with your radar gun?"
"Officer: Umm... okay.  Actually, he's going 40mph under the limit. So, move along before I run you in, tattletale.","Are you sure you don't want to run him in?  It's a red light, Patrick!  Patrick, you just ran three red lights!"
Patrick: So?,You're suppose to stop!
Patrick: I think the driving genius knows what he's doing.,Driving genius?! Why would a genius make an illegal u-turn... through an orphanage?!
Patrick: They ran for it in time. What are you so mad about?,"I should've gotten that license, and this should be my boat mobile!"
"Patrick: How can you say that?! If you were my friend, you'd be happy for me getting my license!","If you were my friend, you wouldn't rub your license in my face!"
Patrick: I'm not rubbing my license in your face! This is rubbing my license in your face!,"Oh, give me that! I worked my whole life for this! You don't deserve this!"
"Officer: Huh, litterbugs. This is why I joined the force. SpongeBob & Patrick: It's the police! Officer:  Pull it over, litterbug! Patrick: Litterbug?! No! Officer: Ooh, I got me a runner.","Patrick, what do you think you're doing?"
"Patrick: I don't know! I don't have a license anymore. Judge: 90 days. I hope you learned a valuable lesson about littering. Patrick: So long, buddy. Don't forget to feed Gary. Sometimes you forget to feed him.",What have I done? Patrick can't survive in prison. He's too soft. Wait!  Patrick's innocent. I tore up Patrick's license and threw it out the window. I'm the litterbug. Take me instead.
"Judge: Well, considering there's no legal precedent... oh, what the heck. 90 days! Narrator: One debt to society later...",Patrick!
Patrick: SpongeBob!,"I'm glad you passed the test. I'm glad you have a license. And to prove it, I made you this: Pals 4 Ever.  Let's put it on your boat mobile, buddy."
"Patrick: Oh, I don't have a boat mobile anymore.",What?
Patrick: It stopped working so I threw it away. The needle was on E and I figured that must mean end.,"Oh, then what do we do with this?"
Patrick: How's that?,Yeah!
"Patrick: Ready, buddy?","Ready, pal.  Woo! Woo!"
"Mr. Krabs: Okay, everybody settle down. Welcome  to the Komedy Krab!  Now please give a warm welcome to our first comic, the indiscernible Dougie Williams! Dougie Williams: Good evening, folks. I'm going to skip the jokes and get right to the part where I throw pies at you!",I hope I do as good as that guy.
"Dougie Williams:  Man, those people will laugh at anything. Hey, don't sweat it kid, I got them all worked up for you. Mr. Krabs: Put your fins together for SpongeBob SquarePants! Sandy: Go get 'em, SpongeBob! Patrick:  Whoo-hoo!","Hey, hey, hey ladies and jellyfish, have you ever noticed salt shakers? I mean, you fill them up every night at closing, and I mean, where does it all go? Huh? You know what I mean? And tomatoes -- what's the deal on those things?  I mean, you chop them up into slices, but...  What are they, vegetables or... fruit? And what does that make? Ketchup?"
"Fred: Oh, brother, THIS GUY STINKS! Harold: HEY, HEY, FUNNY GUY! I'VE GOT A JOKE FOR YOU! WHAT SMELLS ROTTEN AND PUTS PEOPLE TO SLEEP?","Umm, noxious gas?"
Harold: NO! YOUR ACT!,"Did you ever notice how, uhh...  ...forks, uhh..."
Fred: Forks?! Come on!,"Quick, SpongeBob, make a witty observation!  Did you ever notice how big squirrels' teeth are?"
Fish: That's true. Sandy: Huh?,"I mean, hey, you could land a plane on those things.  And what's up with that squirrel fur? I guess fleas need a home, too."
Patrick:  Squirrel fur!,"And they smell! But hey, you'd stink too if you spent three months buried in dirt.  Hey, why does it take more than one squirrel to change a light bulb?"
Fred: WHY?,"Because, they're so darn stupid!"
"All: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Patrick: That's a good one, huh, Sandy? Sandy: Uhh, y-yeah... Mr. Krabs: That was fantastic, boy! You really knocked 'em out! I think I'll do this joke night thing again with you as the head-liner!",I never thought I could be a head-liner! Whatever that is.
Mr. Krabs: The headliner's the one who cleans up after the show.,"Well, at least I don't have to clean up my act!"
"Mr. Krabs: Stick with the squirrel jokes, boy. Now get busy!","Mops, mops, mops, what's up with those things? I mean, really.  Oh, hey, Sandy!"
"Sandy: Howdy, SpongeBob.",Did you enjoy the show?
"Sandy: Well, ac-actually, SpongeBob, n-no. Those jokes are hurtful and you know it.","Come on, Sandy, I was just joking. I mean, everybody knows that you're the smartest one in Bikini Bottom."
"Sandy: Well, I can't argue with that.",We all gotta laugh at ourselves once in a while. I do it all the time!
"Sandy: You're right, SpongeBob. I was being a little too sensitive.  No hard feelings.  Okay, deodorant. Huh, let's see. Roll-on or stick? Fred: I think she should buy both. Sandy: Huh? Scooter: Hey, look, guys!  It's the stupid squirrel! Lloyd: I know, let's try to communicate with it. All: Duh... Sandy: Hmph!  Hello, little critter! What's your name? Mable:  Don't stand too close to a squirrel, Billy. You'll catch its stupid. Billy: Okay, mom. Sandy: Stupidity isn't a virus. But it sure is spreading like one.","La-la-la-la-la-la. Squirrely, squirrely, squirrely, squirrel. Because they're stupid. Because they're stupid."
"Sandy: Hey, uhh, SpongeBob?","Oh, hi, Sandy."
"Sandy: Umm, I need to talk to you about them squirrel jokes.","We already talked about that, remember?"
"Sandy: SpongeBob, this is serious. Since you've been telling them jokes, people have been treating me different. Patrick: SpongeBob, five minutes.  Hel-lo... Sandy. Me Patrick. Do you un-der-stand?  Squirrels. Sandy: Y-y-you see? That's what I'm talking about!","Ah, that's just Patrick. He's just fooling around."
"Sandy: I'm just asking you as a friend, please lay off them squirrel jokes, okay? Tell some of them other jokes you got.",Other jokes?  Bah! I got a million of them.
"Sandy:  Thanks, SpongeBob, I knew you'd understand. Mr. Krabs: Put your fins together for SpongeBob SquarePants!","Uhh, hi.  Uhh, did you hear about the goldfish who went bankrupt? Now he's a bronze fish.  I guess you heard that one."
"Sandy: I haven't heard it! Good one, SpongeBob!","Thank you, you're too kind. Hey, what about this water? I mean, the stuff's everywhere."
Patrick: Tell the one about the squirrel and the light bulbs!,"Uhh...  Hey, what about this thing? Huh? Huh?"
Fish #5: Get on with the squirrel jokes!,"What do I do? Who do I do? SpongeBob, you've got a choice to make:  your friends...  ...or your career. HOWDY, Y'ALLLLLLLLLL!!!  How come it takes more than one squirrel to screw in a light bulb?!"
All: BECAUSE THEY'RE SO. DARN. STUPID!,"My people!  But seriously folks, I want to give a special thanks to my friend, Sandy.  Sandy, don't you see? The crowd loves these jokes.  Am I right?!  Don't you see, Sandy? We're laughing with you, not at you. Do you understand now, Sandy, huh, do ya?"
"Sandy:  I understand everything that's going on, SpongeBob.","Great. I knew sooner or later you'd understand. What a great sport!  Let's give a big hand to Sandy. But clap slow, because remember, SHE'S A SQUIRREL!  Thank you! You've been a wonderful audience, and uhh, good night!  Ah... another spectacular performance, SpongeBob.  Oh, what's this, a fan letter?"
"Sandy:  You were right, SpongeBob! Those jokes are funny! Come on over to the Treedome tomorrow and celebrate. Sandy.","You did it, SpongeBob. You get to keep your career and your friends.  I'm glad that Sandy can finally see the genius of my comedy.  Good morning, Sandy."
"Sandy: Well, hooOOOoowwWWWw-deeeEEEeeeEEee!","Sandy, are you feeling alright?"
"Sandy: I'm just being my own au-naturally squirrelly self!  Well, come on in! Y'all must be tired from telling them funny jokes all the time. Why don't you take a load off?","Uhh, Sandy, I think something's wrong with this seat."
"Sandy: Naw,  I just done put glue on it so you wouldn't fall off.  Are them flowers for me?! You even done got me a vase!","But, Sandy, that, that's not a..."
Sandy: Ain't that purdy?,"SANDY, I NEED WA..."
"Sandy: Oh, that's right! You's a sea critter. Now what was that thing that sea critters need? Umm, uhh... let's see...  UHH, UHH, SEA CRITTERS NEED...",WAAAA...
"Sandy:  Oh, wait, don't tell me. I know this one!",WAAAA...
Sandy: A Wallet? A Watch? Waffles?,SANDY. WATERRRR.
"Sandy: Well, why didn't you just say so?  Here you go! Yup, us squirrels sure is stupid.",Sandy!
"Sandy: Dumb, dumb, dumb, squirrels is dumb.","Sandy! Okay, Sandy, I get it!"
Sandy: What's that? You want more?  Okey-dokey! More water for the sea-critter!,"Okay, Sandy, okay!! I get it!  No more squirrel jokes...  Thank you, thank you very much. Well, on my way over here, I ran into a squirrel.  And I said, 'Hey, why don't you go get a couple of your squirrel friends and we'll go change a light bulb?'  But seriously folks, the only thing dumber than a squirrel is a sponge.  I mean, we're so dumb, we don't even have a vertebrae.  Look at me! I got no bones!"
Fish #6: That's true.,"Crabs? Oh, brother. They're so cheap, they can't even pay attention!"
"Mr. Krabs:  It's true, I am cheap!","Now, let me tell you about those fish. Boy, are they smelly. Whoo-hoo, how could a creature who spends so much time in the water smell so bad? I mean, really.  SOAP, SOAP. WHAT IS SOAP?  And don't even get me started on starfish!"
"Squidward: SpongeBob, one extra large order of sea fries.",And...
Squidward: Please.,"Well, that wasn't so hard, was it?"
Squidward: Yes. Yes it was.,One large sea fries coming up!   Eeeeeee!
"Squidward: One large sea fries. Extra weird. Mr. Krabs:  SpongeBob!  Report to me office. Mr. Krabs: Now listen up, son. I called ye here on the official Krusty Krab business. Every year, me fellow cheapskate crabs meet and discuss new ways of being stinky in the workplace. But more than that, they bestow the award for Cheapest Krab. And this year,  I've been nominated!",...Krabs......nominated......award...award?
Mr. Krabs: So I'll be outta town for the awards ceremony. And yer coming with me.,Road... trip!
"Mr. Krabs: Now, this trip... I'm gonna teach ye all the cheapskate knowledge like you were the son I've never wanted!",Ooh! Can I call you Daddy?
Mr. Krabs: No.,Pa?
Mr. Krabs: No.,Pop?
Mr. Krabs: No.,Papa?
Mr. Krabs: No.,My old man?
Mr. Krabs: No.,Daddy-kins?
Mr. Krabs: Maybe.,Grampy Joe?
"Mr. Krabs:  Ooh! No! Now, this'll be a great learning experience for you, so keep yer brain peeled!","Can do, Mr. Krabs!"
"Mr. Krabs: And in the tradition of the event, we are required to travel cheaply, and I'm gonna teach ya the cheapest way to do it! Mr. Krabs: Attention, cheapskate attendees! I, Eugene Krabs, have only spent on me travel, the price of a one-cent stamp!  Thank you! Thank you! I'd like to see someone top that! Mr. Krabs:  Chintzy McGee?! Chintzy McGee: Thanks for letting me hitch your ride, Mr. Krabs! I didn't have to spend a penny on travel! Crabs: Oooh! Chintzy McGee:  Better wish him luck, kid. He'll need it.","Good luck, Mr. Krabs-"
"Mr. Krabs: Come on. Employee: Your room, sir. Mr. Krabs: You see that, laddie? That outstretched hand is one of the biggest dangers to becoming a true cheapskate:  He wants a tip.",What's a tip?
"Mr. Krabs: It means he wants money for nothing.  So watch closely.  There ye are, lad. Employee: Wow. A quarter. You, sir, are a real cheapskate. Mr. Krabs: Why, thank you!  Now watch closely, boy! You give it a little lean, and then... snatch it back! Employee: Oh. Like I haven't seen that gag ten times today. Mr. Krabs: Go ahead! Give it a try!","Aye aye, sir!  Here you are, sonny! A nice, shiny-  quarter."
"Mr. Krabs: Go on, boy! The quarter's getting away! Mr. Krabs: Quit foolin' around! I got an award to win!",My quarter!
"Mr. Krabs: Hi, fellers! One of the crabs: Ye still know the cheapskate handshake? Mr. Krabs: Of course. Both: Penny pinchin', penny pinchin'.  Cheep cheep cheep! Mr. Krabs: I'd like to introduce me fellow fry cook, SpongeBob. I've been giving some pointers. Crab: Ah! Training in the cheapskate arts, eh? Yer learning from the master, kiddo!",I cook Krabby Patties.
"Crab: Yes. Sure you do. Later, Krocs! Mr. Krabs: Lad, you're surrounded by stingy wisdom, so try to pick up some pointers. But whatever you do, don't lend anyone money.","Twenty five, twenty six-"
"Mr. Krabs: Let's mangle. Judge: Attention, penny pinchers! Crabs: Judge: It's time to award the trophy  for this year's Cheapest Crab! Judge: And the nominees are: Eugene Krabs! In: Sign of the Times! Crowd: Huh? A dollar per footstep? I can't afford that! Harold: How do I get out of here? Mr. Krabs: Thank you, thank you! Judge: Next up is Buford Bargain Bottom in: Convenience Store Caper! Customer: Uh, you charged me three times. Buford: Yeah. Three times the flavor, three times the price! Judge: And Dwight T. Wad in: Tying Up Loose Ends! Mr. Krabs: Uh, geez. I didn't think the competition would be so stiff this year!  I'm gonna need your help on this one! Judge: Well, that's highly unconventional, but okay. We will now hear a testimony from a Krusty Krab employee! Mr. Krabs: I need ya to testify about how cheap I am! So if you need to do a little exaggeratin'...  Ye not getting it, are ye?  Exaggeratin' is like tellin' the truth, only with little lies sprinkled in to make it, uh... true...er.","You're teaching me to lie?! Lying is wrong, Mr. Krabs!"
"Mr. Krabs: No, no, no, no, no, no, exaggeratin's completely different from lyin'. You're taking the truth, and just seasoning it with little lies. I mean, just because you put salt on a Krabby Patty... it doesn't make it a salty patty. Does it?",No.
"Mr. Krabs: Well, good enough. Just make sure you exaggerate enough fer me to win!","Um, uh, uh, uh... Mr. Krabs has always been very, uh... very...very red."
Mr. Krabs:  Exaggerate!,Blue!
Mr. Krabs: No! About me being cheap!,"Uh, Mr. Krabs is... a very generous pointer."
"Mr. Krabs: No, no, no, no, exaggerate the other way!","Um, he's not doing it for the money. He is doing it for his loyal employees.  Vacation time, regular raises, profit sharing. To Mr. Krabs, he's such a little gift that he's to glad to give us, so that he can see the looks on our faces when he hands us our paychecks."
Judge: We've heard enough.  Disqualified!,"Uh, Mr. Krabs, you left some bitter tears on the night vent."
Mr. Krabs:  Thanks.,"Cheer up, Mr. Krabs. You may have not won the award, but you taught this sponge a lot about stinginess. Ooh! I almost forgot to pack these hotel toiletries!  And let's not forget these hotel towels!"
Mr. Krabs: But...but isn't that stealing?,Stealing? Phhhht! We're exaggerating!
"Mr. Krabs: Heh heh. Well, could we exaggerate this pillow, too?","Well, only if you help me exaggerate this air conditioner!"
"Mr. Krabs: Sure, boy! But why not exaggerate the whole wall?  Well, I didn't win the award, but it's been nice exaggeratin' with you, boy. Employee: Do you have any hotel property in this bag? Judge: Preposterous! This is all mine! Mr. Krabs: Heh heh heh. Looks like he bit off more than he could chew. Judge:  You took the entire hotel room?",Duh!  Exaggerated!
"Judge: That is the stingiest display I've ever seen. I declare you the new winner!  See ye next year! Mr. Krabs:  Thanks for ruinin' everything so I could win! Put er there, SpongeBob, me boy!",Sure. Oops.
Squidward: Grrr! SpongeBob and Patrick:, Ahh. Isn't this fun?
Patrick: Yeah! I love playing Buddy Toss!,"Good morning, Squidward! See you at work! Ow!"
Patrick: Ow! Squidward:  Okay. I can do this. Just put them out of my mi...,Ow!
"Squidward: No, no, no!",Something Squidward this way comes.
"Squidward: Alright, you two. I am trying to having a relaxing evening. What in the world are you doing out here? Patrick: Trying to have a relaxing evening.",We're playing flashlight tag.
Squidward: You're playing flashlight tag with an electric eel?,We're using the advanced rules.
Squidward: Advanced rules?  That has got to be the most ridiculous thing I have ever- Patrick: You're it.,"Oh, well played, Patrick!"
Patrick: Shocking! Electric Eel:  How original. Squidward:  All I really want is to live in a world where I can just relax in peace  and quiet.  Is that too much to ask?,"Squidward, we're playing tag! Not hide and seek, you silly!"
"Patrick: But we like hide and seek too, if you want to play that. Squidward:  All I really want is to live in a world where I can just relax  in peace!","Patrick, Squidward is really really sad..."
Patrick: You're right. Let's go poke someone else.,"How about instead, we do something extra special for him! Then he won't be sad anymore!"
"Patrick: Oh, I get it. It'll be like the time I was feeling impressed, and you let me eat all of Gary's... I mean feed Gary for a week.","Patrick, this has to be extra special, and we should probably vow to it"
Patrick: Vow?,"Yeah, vow."
"Patrick: Well, how about instead of vowing, we just do it?",I like it!
"Squidward:  Good night... lamp.  I guess having a relaxing evening meant saying up all night with power tools! Well, it's not that late, even morons need to sleep sometime. Squidward: I can't take it anymore! Squidward: When I get those two, I am gonna...!  All right, you two, I... Squidward: It's, it's, it's... beautiful!  It's too good to be true!  It's a mirage! I knew it!  I guess this is it.  Insanity. Squidward:  Next stop, padded room at the cephalopod home!  Just go with it, Squiddy. Squidward; A refill, my good man! What the?  Patrick?! what are you doing here?! Squidward: It's delicious! What is it? Patrick: A smoothie. Squidward: Remember, Squiddy, just go with it. Tiki #1: Hey fellas, look! it's Squidward! Tiki #2: Hey, buddy, where ya been?! Squidward: Hit it boys! Tikis: Welcome, to Squidward's Tiki Land! Welcome, to Squidward's Tiki Land! You can relax all day like a tiki can, or lay out in the sun for a tiki tan. Squidward: Or drink from a coconut that's full of flan! Tikis: Here in Squidward's Tiki Land! You can play all day in a tiki band, and dance all night on the tiki strand. Squidward: Don't matter to me 'cause, 'cause I'm crazy, man! Tikis: Here in Squidward's Tiki Land! Squidward: Ahhhh, this is the life!",It's beauuuuuuuuuutiful!
"Squidward: I've never felt this happy in my life!  My world! Patrick: You were right, SpongeBob. We should've used glue instead of earwax.","Yeah, especially considering neither of us have ears."
Squidward:  You-you destroyed my beautiful world!,"Sorry we couldn't make it last forever, Squidward."
"Patrick: Yeah, we really tried to make it last. Squidward:  Yeah,  make it last. Squidward: I know how to make it last! Squidward:","This is it, Gary!"
Gary: Meow.,"The big boating exam is today! I've never felt so capable!  I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready. Squidward! Squidward!"
Squidward: What?,"I'm ready, Squidward!"
Squidward: Ready to move?,"No, I'm ready to pass my boating test.  I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready...  I'm ready-eady-eady-eady-eady-eady-eady-eady-ready. Well, pal, I won't be needing you anymore.  I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready! Oh, yeah! I'm ready!"
"Gus: Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Yes! Hey, I just got my license!","Hey, I'm getting mine next."
"Gus: Hey, I doubt it.","Okay, see you on the road. I'm ready! Here I come, Mrs. Puff! I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready..."
Mrs. Puff:  I'm not ready.,"Hi, Mrs. Puff! Today is the day I'm going to pass my boating exam!"
"Mrs. Puff:  We'll see about that, SpongeBob. First we must...",First I must pass the oral exam. I am confident in my abilities to successfully succeed.
"Mrs. Puff: I know. Okay, #1: What is the front of the boat?",The bow.
Mrs. Puff: What is the back?,Stern.
Mrs. Puff: #3: Right is...,Starboard.  Port. Skipper. Deck. Cabin. Galley. Keel. 1924!
"Mrs. Puff: You've passed the oral test. What a surprise!  Now it's time to once again take the driving portion of the exam. Okay, SpongeBob, get in the boat.","Oh, in this boat right here?  Is it time already?"
"Mrs. Puff: Get in the boat, SpongeBob.","Oh yeah, absolutely."
"Mrs. Puff: All you have to do is get on the track. Mrs. Puff: Okay, SpongeBob, what's the first thing you do?",1924?
"Mrs. Puff: No, no. First thing is to... start the boat.  SpongeBob? SpongeBob? Relax, it's only the boat.",The boat?
"Mrs. Puff: Okay, now what do you do next?",Floor it?
"Mrs. Puff: Yes... no, no! Don't floor it.",Floor it?!
"Mrs. Puff: No, no, don't, don't floor it.","Okay, floor it!!!"
Mrs. Puff: No! No!  NO! NO!!!,Floor it!
"Mrs. Puff: OOHHH, SpongeBob, WHYYYYY? Fred: My leg!","I don't know why, Gary. I don't know. I'm tired of failing that boating test. I've already taken it thirty-seven times."
Gary: Meow.,"Okay, thirty-eight."
Gary:  Meow.,"No, Gary, I'm not walking."
"Patrick:  SpongeBob, this is star ranger, over.","What is it, Patrick?"
Patrick:  I got a surprise for you.,"Oh, Patrick, I'm not in the mood."
Patrick:  Get out of bed.,"Okay, now what, Patrick?"
Patrick:  Go to your closet for a surprise.,"Okay, I'm at the closet."
Patrick:  Listen carefully. What's pink and square at the same time?,"I don't know, Patrick."
Patrick: Patrick SquarePants!,"Pat, don't do that.  I've got too much to worry about."
Patrick: What's the problem?,I can't pass my boating exam. I've taken it thirty-seven...
Gary: Meow.,"...uhh, thirty-eight times. I know all the answers...  ...until I get behind the wheel. I just need something to help me think straight."
Patrick: Thinking straight is what I do. You drive and I'll do all the thinking for you.,How are we going to do that?
"Patrick: Come in, SpongeBob. Hello? Hello?","Hey! I can hear you in my head! This is great! While I'm taking the test, you can give me all the answers.  Wait a minute, Patrick. Won't I look silly with this antenna coming out of my head?"
"Patrick:  Pat to Sponge, Pat to Sponge. Testing, testing.  Testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing. Testing!  TESTING!!!  TEST, TEST, DO YOU READ?!","Sponge to Pat, I read you loud and clear, over."
"Patrick:  Got your apple ready?  Lucky undergarments? Hold on... hold on...  BINGO!!! Underwear, apple, and me! You're ready to get that license! Uh-oh, here comes Mrs. Puff. Act natural.",Mooooooooo.
"Patrick:  No, no, get in the boat!  Give her the apple.","Here you go, ma'am."
Mrs. Puff: Let's get this over with.  What's the first thing you do?,Uhh...
Patrick:  Start the boat.,Mrs. Puff. Mrs. Puff!
Mrs. Puff: Whoa-ho! Huh? What?,"It's okay, it's only the boat."
Mrs. Puff: The boat? You started the boat?,I... I think so.
Mrs. Puff: Oh. Well... what's the second thing you do?,1924?
"Patrick:  No, no, put it in drive.",Put it in drive?
"Mrs. Puff: Yes, yes, yes!  Put it in drive! Then what?",Floor it?
"Mrs. Puff: NO! AHH, NO!!! Patrick:  FREEZE, MISTER.  BIG. TOE. Mrs. Puff: Oh, gracious. Oh, gracious! Oh-oh. Ha-ha! Ah, we haven't crashed yet. Patrick:  Okay, you're coming to your first turn. Mrs. Puff: Oh no, the first turn. Please, tell me you know what to do at the first turn! Patrick:  Left! Mrs. Puff: Oh! Patrick:  Right! Mrs. Puff: Oh! Oh my, this is splendid, SpongeBob. You're doing fine. Montage: Mrs. Puff: Splendid! Wonderful!  There's the finish line. It's unbelievable. You've shown the most spectacular improvement of any student I've ever seen. What's your secret? A little radio in your head?  Oh, and under that hat is some kind of, uhh, antenna?  And some guy miles away from here is giving you all the answers?  Oh, yes, but that would be cheating. Patrick: HAHA! CHEATING!!!  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!",I'M CHEATING! Mrs Puff?!
"Mrs. Puff: Yes, my star pupil?",I think I'm cheating...
"Mrs. Puff: What's that, dear?",I think I am cheating!
Mrs. Puff: You've... you've let go of the wheel.,I do have an antenna under my hat!  There is a guy giving me all the answers! It's all true!  I'm cheating! I'm cheating! I'm cheating!
Patrick: WHAT!?!,"I'm sorry, Mrs. Puff! I'm sorry!"
"Mrs. Puff:  The wheel, SpongeBob! The wheel...",Cheating... I'm a cheater! Cheater...
"Mrs. Puff: No, no, no! It's quite alright! You can cheat that way!",No... I'm cheating...!
"Mrs. Puff: At least, SpongeBob...",I'm cheating!
Mrs. Puff: Cheat that way!,"I'm a cheater, cheater, pumpkin eater!"
Mrs. Puff: It's okay to cheat today!,No...!
Mrs. Puff: That way! Cheat that way!,Cheater...!
"Mrs. Puff:  OOHHH, SpongeBob, WHYYYYY?","Mrs. Puff, I think I cheated."
Fred: My leg!,"Uhh, I'm sorry for letting you down again, Mrs. Puff."
"Mrs. Puff: It's okay, SpongeBob, you didn't mean it. Okay, boys, take me away.","Don't worry, Mrs. Puff. I'll try harder next semester.  It'll be great!  Only now I don't even have my bike."
Gary:  Meow.,"Gary! My bike! You found it! This sponge is still mobile!  Alright, let's go surprise someone at the hospital!"
"Mr. Fitz: Morning, Mrs. Puff. I'm Mr. Fitz. I represent the 'Boating Teachers Accreditation Bureau'. As you know, your teaching certificate is up for renewal. However, we have noticed there have been an unusually large amount of failings from this classroom. Mrs. Puff: That's impossible. In all my years of teaching, only one student has failed my class. Mr. Fitz: Yes, but he's failed 1,258,056 times. Mrs. Puff: You don't understand. SpongeBob is unteachable. Mr. Fitz: We cannot blame the students for the incompetence of the teacher.","Honk honk! Beep beep! I'm ready to drive. Are you ready for my driving test today, Mrs. Puff?"
"Mr. Fitz: Okay, Mrs. Puff, if SpongeBob fails this test, you will be replaced. Mrs. Puff:  Okay, SpongeBob, let's demonstrate for Mr. Fitz everything I've taught you in boating school. Now, what's the first thing we do before we start boating?",Seat-belt-aroony. One second.
Mrs. Puff: Then what do you do?,Start the engine?
Mrs. Puff: Yes.,Now what do I do?
Mrs. Puff: Drive the boat.,"Did I pass this time, Mrs. Puff?"
"Mrs. Puff: No, SpongeBob, you failed.",I failed?
"Mr. Fitz: It's not you that failed, SpongeBob. It's Mrs. Puff that's failed you. You are relieved of your teaching duties. Mrs. Puff: I won't be teaching SpongeBob anymore?  No more... SpongeBob?! I thought this day would never come. Goodbye, SpongeBob! Have a nice life.  Free at last! Free at last!",I got Mrs. Puff fired.
"Roderick: Hello, worthless students. I'm your new instructor.  No one's ever failed my class... that's lived through it. I can assure you these next 4 weeks will be the worst years of your miserable lives. Your spine will break, your teeth will ache, your eyes will be bloodshot. You will drive out of this school in style. Or you will be carted out in your granny's hand basket. Everyone will follow the rules of the class. First rule: No talking. Nat: Does that mean... Roderick: Second Rule: no eating in my class. Would anyone care for a bon-bon? Monroe: Uhh, I'll eat one. Roderick: Pick your favorite.  How's it taste? Monroe: It's a delightful taste sensation. Roderick: No eating in my classroom!  Now, if anyone else is man enough to stay in this class...  Looks like you're the man, Sponge.",I am?
Roderick:  Do you wanna learn how to drive or what?,"Yes, sir! I'm ready to drive"
Roderick: What do you think you're doing?,"Ready for my test, sir."
"Roderick:  You're not ready to drive yet until you learn that first.  This is  most grueling driving course ever devised. You will learn every turn, bump, and crack on it. You'll start out crawling it.",Crawl?
Roderick: Hut two. Hut two. Hut two. Hut two.,Left turn.  Crack. Bump. Nickel. Hey a nickel!
"Roderick: Keep your eyes on the road, cadet.",Pebble!  Oh whoa!  Oh whoa!  Whew!
"Roderick: I'm ashamed of you, cadet.  Tripped up by a wee pebble.  What are you suppose to be learning in my class?","How to drive, sir?"
"Roderick: Affirmative. But before you learn to drive, you must learn to crawl. Then you learn to walk and then you learn to run. But before you learn to walk, you must learn to crawl.  I want you to crawl!","Sir, yes, sir!"
"Roderick: Now get out there!  Every good boater needs to know his vehicle inside and out.  Here, go take that boat apart.  I'm impressed, son. Put it back together again!",That'll be easy.
Roderick: Are you sure?,"Um, yeah. You just put the jigamahoo on the doohicky and uhh...  I might need a couple minutes.  It's ready, sarge!"
Roderick: Jumpin' jellyfish...,"Watch for pedestrians. Check mirrors. Observe that speed limit. Watch for pedestrians!  So, umm, how'd I do?"
Roderick: How'd you do? Why don't you ask the shattered remains of this pedestrian... HOW YOU DID!,"Now I know this forwards, backwards, and sideways. Am I ready to get behind the wheel?"
Roderick: Not quite.  Now do it blindfolded. Narrator: Several days later...,"1003, 1004, 1005.  Ooh, pebble #143.  Ha! You will not trip me up again, pebble #143. 1006, 1007, 1008.  Old lady with a ham sandwich. 1009, 1010, 1011, 1012, 1... 13."
Roderick: Congratulations. You're ready to get behind the wheel.,Really? I'm ready! I'm ready. I'm...
"Roderick:  Let's see what I taught you, laddy.","Yes, sir!  Left turn at pebble #143. Kid with a ball.  Nice boy."
"Roderick: Nice driving. Now parallel park up ahead.  Very good.  Now, boy, the time has come to show Mr. Fits what you've learn.","Yes, sir! Step 1: seatbelts."
"Roderick: Excellent work, cadet. What's next?",Step 2 would be... ignite engine.
Roderick: Step 3?,Step 3 would be...  ...engage blindfold.
Roderick: What? You can't drive a boat with a blindfold on. That's illegal.,But I can't do it without a blindfold.
"Roderick: Drive, boy! Drive! Roderick: Mayday! Mayday! You're off course. Mrs. Puff: Ah, I feel so serene now that I'm away from that homicidal maniac, SpongeBob. Roderick: The brake son!","Aye aye, sir.  There you go, sir. All I had to do was unscrew two of the bolts."
Roderick: I'm gonna stop this thing. Tell my wife I love her.  Come get some!,"Man down. Man down.  Sorry, excuse me. Sorry."
"Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob!","Sorry, Patrick, I can't stop the boat right now.  I can't see! I can't see!"
Patrick: My pants!,"Hey, I can't see!  Did I pass?"
"Mr. Fitz: Well, if there was a 'destroy the city' part of the test, you would have. Patrick:  The nerve of some people. Mr. Fitz: Sorry, SpongeBob, you failed again. Even our finest instructor could not teach you. Mrs. Puff, you're hired again.","Hey, Mrs. Puff! Sorry I'm unteachable."
"Mrs. Puff: It's okay. Mr. Fitz gave me my teaching certificate back.  And your dossier was destroyed in the explosion,  so it's as if you never failed.","I got you a welcome back gift, Mrs. Puff.  I found all the pieces and glued them back together. I promise it won't take me a million tries this time."
"Narrator: Ah... the Bikini Bottom Zoo is having its annual Free Day. Free balloons... Narrator: Free drinks... Narrator: Free light bulbs? Mr. Krabs: Aha! Top of the mornin', boys!  Whew! Next stop: gift shop.","There it is... Oyster Stadium. Not only do they have the largest oyster held in captivity, it also does tricks! He spits a giant pearl 100 feet in the air, like a cannonball!"
Patrick: Why are we hanging around watching a cheap imitation? Let's get over there! SpongeBob and Patrick: This is the greatest day of our lives! Patrick: This is the greatest day of our lives? Boring.,"You're right, Patrick. We came to see  pearls 100 feet in the air!  Right? I'll try my oyster call."
"Patrick: Well, I'm outta here. Thanks for nothin', SpongeBob.","Come on, come on, wake up already!  I think it's working! Hey, Patrick, it's waking up!"
"Patrick: Oh, boy, did I miss it?","No, the show's about to begin!"
"Zoo Worker #1: What's wrong with Clamu? Joe: Easy, girl! It's me, Joe! Remember? Patrick: Now, this is a show! Announcer: Attention, zoo patrons! Clamu, the giant oyster is on an emotional rampage! Please scream and run around in circles.  Thanks for coming. Zoo Worker #1: You boys better get out of this area, pronto! There's nothing more dangerous than an emotionally disturbed oyster.  You didn't do anything that might have caused this horrible tragedy, did you?",Uh...
"Patrick: No way! Only a jerk would upset a gentle giant. Right, SpongeBob?",Right.
"Patrick: Man, if I ever see the guy who upset Clamu, I'd have a few choice words for him, like you... and... are ... and... a jerk!  Are you sure you didn't see anything suspicious?","I already said I didn't, Patrick, sheesh!"
"Patrick: Hey, let's investigate this crime and catch the lowlife who's responsible!","Give it a rest, Patrick! There's no crime to investigate! Now go home!  Stupid Patrick... I didn't do anything wrong! Aw, what am I getting so worked up about? I'm sure that by tomorrow, this whole ugly mess will be a funny memory."
"Johnny: Our top story tonight: giant oyster has its feelings hurt! The only clue that could be found was this lone peanut! And as you can hear, the oyster continues to emit its horrible cry. A cry so powerful, it can be heard around the world.  A cry that not only breaks the sound barrier, it breaks the hearts of our citizens!  What kind of cruel, careless, evil person would deliberately upset one of Neptune's most gentle creatures? Gary: Meow?","No, Gary! How would I know anything about the oyster?"
Gary: Meow.,"Defensive? I'm not being defensive! Barnacles! What is this, 20 Questions or something?  This is getting a little out of hand. All I did was throw a peanut. I didn't mean to make the oyster cry! I just wanted to see it perform spectacular stunts! Aw, everyone's gonna hate me! I-I need some advice! Now, let's see now. Who could never hate me no matter what I do?  Squidward! Squidward! Oh, Squidward!"
Squidward: SpongeBob! Do you have to knock so loudly?!,"Sorry, neighbor."
Squidward: Oh... that overgrown clam is giving me a headache! I can't even take my afternoon beauty nap!,"Funny thing you should mention that old oyster, because I... uh... was kind of wondering, um... Let's say I know this guy who may have something to do with the oyster."
"Squidward: Oh, this is great! You and I can go turn him in! And then I'll get so much sleep, I'll be gorgeous!","Um, actually, I-I'm just talking hypothetically."
Squidward: You mean you don't know who did it?,"Well, um... I... uh... no.  Squidward?"
"Patrick: Gotcha! Patrick: Where were you on the day of today? Don't play games with me, mister!","Hey, Patrick, what are you doing?"
"Patrick: Oh, hi, SpongeBob. I'm just continuing my investigation of the Great Clamu Caper!",Um... have you found out anything?
"Patrick: Yes! No, wait, uh... no.  But this grain of sand looks pretty suspicious,  and so does this rock!  And I've got a few questions for this little piece of grass! Don't worry, SpongeBob! Patrick's on the case! The truth will be revealed!","I better go see Sandy, she'll know what to do!"
"Sandy: Oh, I can't stand it anymore! That poor, poor critter! What kind of inconsiderate person would upset such a gentle creature?","Uh, that's kind of what I wanted to talk about, Sandy."
"Sandy: Why, when I find out who caused that oyster so much pain, no more jiggery pokery! Sandy: Now, what was it you wanted to talk about, SpongeBob? Sandy: Hey, SpongeBob, how come you're all twitchy like that?","Twitchy? Twitchy? Who's twitchy? I'm not twitchy! Sorry, Sandy, I have to, um... um... go get my hair cut."
"Sandy: SpongeBob doesn't have hair... or does he? Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob!  This is it! All of the clues are coming together. I followed these footprints right to this exact spot, and then, right where you're standing, I found this bag of peanuts! Ha! Oh, I'm so close to solving this crime, I can almost taste it!  Boy, crime fighting sure makes me hungry, and this yellow Popsicle hits the spot!","Okay, uh, good luck with all that, Patrick, and, uh, I guess I'll see you later!"
Police Fish #1: Open up! This is the police!,"Uh, uh, just a second!"
Policefish #1: Are you SpongeBob SquarePants?,Y-y-yes?
"Policefish #1: Put those eyeballs back in your head, son. We've got a few questions for you. Policefish #1: Were you at the zoo on the day of the oyster incident?",Y-yes!
"Policefish #1: Did you, or did you not take part in various activities of zoo-time merriment?",Yes...
Policefish #1:  And are you familiar with... this peanut?,Yes!
Policefish #1: Just one more question... Is it true that you were at the oyster's lair with a Mr. Patrick Star?,"Yes! Yes! It's true! It's true! It's all true! The merriment, the peanut, the Patrick!"
"Policefish #1: That's all we need to know, son. Let's book 'im! Patrick: Wow, you guys are good! I'm the last person I would have suspected, but I was looking for me all the time! It's the perfect crime! Policefish #1: Yeah, yeah, tell it to the judge, pinky!","Oh, no! Patrick's too sensitive for the big house!  Wait! Stop! I'm the one you want! I am the criminal!"
"Sandals:  Hey, everybody, let's throw peanuts at him and see how he likes it! Patrick: I get what I deserve!  Ouch.",Wait! Hold your peanuts! Patrick Star is innocent! I have come here to reveal the truth! They say that truth and honesty will be rewarded with trust and forgiveness!
"Patrick:  Dum, dum, dum dum, de, dum...","I'm here to lay my cards on the table, to trim the branches of deception from the tree of life, to shave away the unkempt sideburns from the face of truth! I..."
Sandals: Hey! Just get on with it!,"I am the one who threw the peanut! I know now that what I have done is wrong. And so I say, I am sorry, giant performing oyster. I am sorry, Patrick. I am sorry, citizens of Bikini Bottom."
"Sandals:  Hey! Let's throw peanuts at both of them! Zoo Worker #1:  Wait! Here's the real criminal! Mr. Krabs: Uh, top of the mornin'!",Mr. Krabs!
"Patrick: I knew it! Zoo Worker #1: Mr. Krabs has stolen a very important item from the oyster.  Behold!  Wait a minute...  Behold! The oyster's pearl!  Here you go, girl. Baby Oyster: Mama! Mama!","Mother of pearl! The oyster's a mother! And that pearl's no pearl, it's an egg!"
"Baby Oyster: Mama! Clamu: Aww! All: Awww... Mr. Krabs:  But it's... Free Day! Old Man Jenkins: I just can't decide what to order. Squidward: You already ordered. Old Man Jenkins: Don't rush me, young lady! Squidward: Hurry up, SpongeBob! Squidward: What is taking you so long?",I'm adding the love!
Squidward: You're not being paid to love.,"Well, I'm not here for the money.  I'll always treasure these moments we had together."
Squidward: Look!,Awww...
"Mr. Krabs: Well, I'll be cooked in butter! It's Jim, the Original Fry Cook! Jim: Krabs!",The Jim? He who flipped patties in the before time?
"Mr. Krabs: You're doin' well, Jim. Is that limo solid gold?! Jim: It sure is. I was on my way to my solid gold mansion next to my solid gold lake, when I thought I'd take a trip down memory lane. Squidward: Good ol' Jim. When you worked here, the place had class.","Yeah. When this place had class...  Well, we've had some good times, too. Right, Squidward?"
"Squidward: No. [Jim walks up to the Employee of the Month wall. Jim: Hey, that's new. Employee of the Month, huh?",That's me!
"Mr. Krabs: Don't worry, Jim. No one could ever replace you. The original is still underneath. Mr. Krabs: Your Best Employee Ever award! SpongeBob! Sweep up this mess while Jim and I catch up.","Yes, sir."
"Jim: After I left The Krusty Krab I worked at some of the finest restaurants around the world. I got so successful, I was able to retire in luxury.",Would you sign my Krabby Patty?
"Jim: Oh, I... Don't sign what I didn't make. Mr. Krabs: Hey, bigshot! Why don't you step behind the fryer for old time's sake? Jim: You're on, Krabs! But I'll have to charge you! Mr. Krabs: Aye, you always knew how to make me laugh. You just don't find employees like that anymore.",Yeah. Not unless you look right in front of you!
"Mr. Krabs:  You're right, boy. I appreciate you, Squidward! Squidward: Now I feel complete! Mr. Krabs: Now how about that patty? Jim: Everyone, watch and learn! Bodyguard #1: No one watches Jim. Jim: One patty! The right way. Mr. Krabs: It's a thing of beauty!","What's so great about a Jim Patty anyway?  Meh, it's OK.  Wow! That was... amazing!  Uh, Mr. Jim, sir?"
"Jim: Oh, hey! You... You're the guy... who sweeps up, right?","I'm the new fry cook, sir."
"Jim: Oh! You made that... stepped-on thing I saw earlier, right?",Do you have any tips you can pass on to a rookie?
Jim: Besides don't step on the food?,Please critique my work! I wish to learn at the feet of the master!
"Jim: Now that's the way to grovel. I'll do it!  The pickle slices were too thick. Jim: Hold it... Hold it... Hold it... Okay. Jim: Now, too much mustard, see? Martin: Oh, man!",Am I a fraud?
"Squidward: SpongeBob, what are you doing in there?",Crying my eyes out.
"Squidward: Well, hurry up. I gotta cry, too.","Why, Squidward?"
"Squidward: Because when Jim leaves, I'll be stuck with you again!","Don't worry, Squidward. Jim won't be leaving. He's taking my job. I'm the one who's leaving!"
"Squidward: Really?  Yes! Ha, cha-cha! Ha, cha-cha! Ha, cha-cha! Whoo-hoo-hoo! Hee, hee, Ha! Ha!","The Krusty Krab deserves better than my meager skills. I should be professional. I must... resign.  Dear Mr. Krabs,..."
Mr. Krabs: Three cheers for the world's greatest fry cook... SpongeBob!,Me?
"Mr. Krabs: Come here. Help us cheer for Jim. All But Mr. Krabs and Squidward: Hip, hip, Hooray!","Goodbye, grill. Goodbye, pot. Goodbye, pan. So long, fry fat. Goodbye, grease stain.  Goodbye, frozen patty #1. Goodbye, frozen patty #2."
Narrator: 298 frozen patties later...,"Goodbye, freezer."
"Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob?  SpongeBob?  That smells like a resignation letter.  SpongeBob's resignation? Oh, this is terrible! No one's making patties! And that mean I'm not making money! Jim: Hey, Eugene, where's that little fry cook of yours? Mr. Krabs: He thinks you're taking his job, so he's run off! Jim: Hey, great idea! And you can give me a raise!",Look at them. Mr. Krabs is probably offering Jim my job right now.
"Mr. Krabs: Well, I better go find him. SpongeBob!","Don't worry, Mr. Krabs. I was just leaving. I'm not fit to inhabit the same kitchen as Jim. So it is with a heavy heart that I relinquish my position as fry cook."
"Jim: What are you thinking, SpongeBob? I'm not taking your job.",But you're the greatest fry cook in the world! The Krusty Krab deserves better than me.
"Jim: Both those statements are true, SpongeBob, but there's a reason I left the Krusty Krab. It all started on a warm summer evening. Business was slow, so Squidward and I were having one of our famous bull sessions.  We should open our own restaurant and stop relying on old man K's pockets. Squidward: No, thanks. I'm just doing this until my clarinet career takes off. Jim: What if it never does? Don't you wanna have something to fall back on? Squidward: Yeah! Ha! I could lose my beautiful, flowing hair, too, but I'm not buying a wig yet. Jim: Well, while you go wig shopping, I'm gonna go talk to Mr. Krabs.  Hey, Mr. Krabs, you gotta second? Mr. Krabs: Anything for you, Jimmy, me boy. Cop a squat and lay your wreck and tell me what's on your wig, Jim. Jim: Cut the gas, Krabs, and dig this: I've been bustin' my conk for you. You better lay on some extra gravy, or I'm going to agitate the gravel. Mr. Krabs: What now? Jim: You know, lay a patch. Mr. Krabs: 'Scuse me? Jim: Give me a raise, or I'm quitting. Mr. Krabs: A raise? That's not in my Hiptionary. Help me get with it, Jack. Jim: Stop talking like that. Mr. Krabs: These sideburns aren't real. Jim: I need more money in my paycheck at the end of every week, capiche? Squidward: My hair! My beautiful hair! My hair! My hair! Mr. Krabs: Aye, it's still as funny today as it was then. Mr. Krabs: You see, SpongeBob, you've got one quality Jim will never have: you're cheap!",Wow! I never thought about it that way!
"Mr. Krabs: So, you'll stay?","Aye, aye, Mr. Krabs."
"Mr. Krabs: Then back to work! Jim: Well, Eugene, looks like you've got yourself another sucker. The kid's a good fry cook, but he'll only be a great fry cook when he finally gets the guts to quit this dump. Good luck, SpongeBob. You're gonna need it.",The Krusty Krab isn't a dump.
"Mr. Krabs: Oh, she's a dump, alright. But she's my dump.","Oh. Excuse me, miss?"
Nancy: I don't want to have to report you again.,"I was just wondering...  ...is it the homework pencil on the left side of the paper next to the quiz pencil, or over on the right side all by itself? Or..."
Nancy: I think it goes stuck inside your...,"Wait, I got it! The quiz pencil goes right over here next to the essay pencil  and the essay pencil gets turned sideways toward the notepad,  just in case I have to write an essay."
"Mrs. Puff:  Good morning class. Sorry I'm late. I got caught in traffic on the way in here when that whole 'I'm-going-to-be-doing-this-for-the-rest-of-my-life' thing reared its ugly head and I...  Anyway, we have a new student starting today, so let's all put on a happy face for Flats the flounder.  Tell the class something about yourself, Flats. Flats: Well, I like to kick people's butts. Mrs. Puff:  What a card! Now Flats, it's time to pick your seat. Just go ahead and sit anywhere you'd like.  Okay class, as you remember last week...",Hi! I'm SpongeBob!
"Flats: Hi, SpongeBob. I'm gonna kick your butt.",That joke was almost funnier the second time.
Flats:  No. I mean it.,That time it almost seemed like...  ...you did mean it.  Mrs. Puff?
"Mrs. Puff: Yes, SpongeBob?",Can I be excused for the rest of my life?
"Mrs. Puff: Why no, SpongeBob. I'm in the middle of a coffee-fueled sermon right now. You can't afford to miss this information.","Yes, Mrs. Puff.  Sorry, Mrs. Puff."
"Mrs. Puff: Now, can I please have a volunteer to come up to the board? How about you, Flats?  Please draw for us a diagram of a basic four-way intersection, Flats.  Please turn and show the class what you drew, honey.  My, how very creative! We have an artist in the class.",I just don't understand. Why would Flats want to kick my butt? I haven't said two words to the guy!  One... two...  OH NO! THAT'S THREE! What am I going to do?  What was that? Someone's coming. They're getting closer. I've just got to act natural.
"Martin: Oh, that's real nice.","Phew, I thought for sure that was gonna be...  Flats! Uh, hello, sir. Kick any good butts lately? Yeah, I remember last week, I was kicking this guy's butt real good. And he leans over and says, 'Hey, you know, life's like a bucket of wood shavings.  Except for when the shavings are in a pail, then it's like a pail of wood shavings!"
"Flats: Hey, that story really speaks to me.",Really? What's it say?
"Flats: It says now, I'm gonna kick your butt twice as hard.","...and I leave Gary's water bowl to Gary, and my curtains to... oh Neptune, I just can't do this.  Death row, next in line speaking."
"Patrick:  Hi, I'd like to place an order for delivery.",Patrick? Is that you?
"Patrick: Yeah, hey Mario. Let me get a large double olive, double-","Patrick, listen! It's me, SpongeBob! I need your help!"
Patrick:  You're working at Pizza Castle now?,"What? No, listen! I'm in big trouble. There's a new guy at school here and he wants to kick my butt! Listen, you're big and strong, do you think you could come down here and maybe rough him a bit? Just to get him off my back? Please, Patrick, I'm so scared, it feels like I'm gonna throw up."
"Patrick:  No, they're not closed. I know, you want olives.","Patrick, you there?"
"Patrick:  Oh, I'm sorry, SpongeBob. I was just talking to my old community college buddy, Flats.  I bumped into him at the soda store, isn't that funny?  It must have been years since we've seen each other. Well, let me get going. He's got to go back to school soon. He says he's got to kick somebody's butt!  Hellllo? Is this Pizza Castle?! Mrs. Puff: Come in, SpongeBob.","Mrs. Puff, can I be in a different class?"
Mrs. Puff: But why?,I can't tell you.
Mrs. Puff: Why ever not?,"I just can't, Mrs. Puff. My physical being is at stake, let's just leave it at that."
"Mrs. Puff: SpongeBob, you can tell me anything. You've got to believe that.","Well, okay. But only if you promise to keep it between us."
Mrs. Puff: Of course.,Flats says he's going to kick my butt!
"Mrs. Puff: What?! There shall be no butt-kicking in any class of mine. This is an adult program. SpongeBob, just leave it to me!","Aw, thanks Mrs. Puff. I knew I could count on you."
"Mrs. Puff: Have a nice lunch, SpongeBob?","Yes, Mrs. Puff!"
"Mrs. Puff:  SpongeBob, I talked to Flats for you. I used your name. It was all a misunderstanding.",YOU WHAT?!?!?!
"Mrs. Puff: He was never going to kick your butt at all! You see SpongeBob, Flats is from a town where kicking someone's butt means that he wants to be your friend.  And maybe play some sports with you on weekends.",I've got diarrhea!  Huh? Are you Flats' dad?
"Flats' Dad: Why, yes I am.","Okay, see, I didn't know where else to turn! Patrick couldn't help me, and Mrs. Puff only made it worse. I sit next to your son Flats in school, and he is a fine boy and all, and I don't want you to take this the wrong way, but he wants to kick my butt."
"Flats: Dad, what're you doing? Flats' Dad: Uhh, nothing, son. Flats: What did I tell you about talking to strangers? Flats' Dad:  Now he's gonna kick my butt!",AAAAAAAHHH! OUT OF MY WAY! OUT OF MY WAY!  Can't you see he's going to kick my butt?!
"Lonnie: Hi there, young people, nice day today. Harold: So, you like kicking butts, do ya?! Well, we'll show you, old man!","Okay, okay, I got to skip town, start a new life, live under an assumed name! BobPants SpongeSquare. Yeah, that's good. Grow a beard, and then shave it off, and live happily ever after."
"Flats: Yeah, except you forgot the part where I kick your butt!","Hey, Flats... you feeling better?"
"Flats: What? Where am I? Purple Doctorfish:  Why, you're in the hospital. This young boy saved your life. He performed CPR for five hours straight.","Yeah. They said you'd be okay after the first few minutes, but I just wanted to be sure."
"Flats: Wow, I'm touched. I'll have to remember that when I'm kicking your butt.  Those flowers for me?",AAAAAAAHHH! He's still gonna kick my butt!
"Harold: How many times do we have to teach you this lesson, old man?! Lonnie: I love the young people.","Oh Gary, I'm too young to have my butt kicked! There are so many things in life I haven't gotten to do!  Hang on, I'll transfer your call.  Who is it!  'AHH!!! Flats!!"
Flats: It's butt-kicking time.,"Gary, there's something I want you to know, but I'm too scared to remember what it is!"
Flats: Let's do it!,"Go away, Gary. I don't want you to see this. It'll be ugly."
Flats: Are you ready?,"Hold on.  Okay, I'm ready.  I said I'm ready.  Didn't you hear me? I said I'm ready.  That tickles!  Gary, I'm absorbing his blows like I was made of some kind of... spongy material! Do you know what that means? I get to go to work tomorrow!  Flats, are you okay?  Do not cheer me, my fellow adult classmates. Flats was the real victim here. A victim of a society that's riding down a violent road to nowhere; a road I call...  ...'violence road'."
"Mrs. Puff: Sorry I'm late, class, I...  SpongeBob! I can't believe you beat up a new student!  I'm going to kick your butt! Narrator: Ahh, lunchtime at the Krusty Krab. Everyone is enjoying their Krabby Patties.  Huh?! What's this? Mr. Krabs: Can you spot him, Mr. Squidward? Squidward:  Down there, sir! Narrator:  There appears to be a Krabby Patty napping in progress!  There can only be one culprit: Plankton! Plankton: Finally, victory is mine! I win, I win, I win! Squidward: He got away, sir. Mr. Krabs:  No! He's finally stolen me secret recipe! Narrator: Perhaps not, Monsieur Krabs, for it's...  ...SpongeBob SquarePants!","A-ha!  Hey!  Okay, that's far enough! Huh?  Tartar sauce!"
Cowboy: Yeehaw!,"Have you seen a Krabby Patty? It's about this tall and...  Wow, a magic shop! Are you a magician? One time, I saw this magician and he did this thing...anyway, and then he told us, If you believe in yourself and with a tiny pinch of magic, all of your dreams can come true."
Plankton: Argh! I can't take it!,Plankton! It's you!
"Plankton: Yes! And after all these years, I thought I was the master of torture. But that... that just wasn't fair! Here. Take the stupid patty, I don't want the secret recipe anyway. I guess my restaurant will never be as good as the Krusty Krab. You don't know what it's like to be a loser.","Aww, cheer up, Plankton. I think you're a winner."
Plankton:  Wh-what did you say?,"I said, you're a--"
"All: Loser! Squidward: How does it feel to be the most hated thing in Bikini Bottom, Plankton?! It hurts, doesn't it?! I know! Policeman: Yeah, and for running you out, we're going to make this kid honorary town rookie of the day. Squidward, Mr. Krabs, the policeman, Fred, Tammy, Joe, Millie, Ricardo, and Stella: ♪For he's a jolly good rookie, for he's a jolly good rookie, for he's a jolly good rookie...♪","I'll bet if he had just one friend, he wouldn't be such a meanie."
All:  Which no... whatever. Plankton: A customer?  Our special today is chum...  ...balaya.,"Hi, Mr. Plankton."
Plankton: Haven't you degraded me enough for one day?,No. I mean...I want you to come out and play with me.
Plankton: What?,Play with me.
Plankton: You know how to induce thermonuclear fusion?,"No, but I like to go jelly..."
"Plankton: That naïve cube! How long must I suffer this? Karen: You're not letting him leave, are you? Can't you see? This is the perfect opportunity for revenge! Plankton: Elaborate. Karen: Befriend the SpongeBob, then when the time is just right, take the Krabby Patty! Plankton: Take the Krabby Patty? Karen: Get moving, genius, don't let him get away.",...fishing with my friends at Jellyfish Fields.
"Plankton: Alright, SpongeBob, I'll play your little game.","Great!  Last one to the fields is a rotten clam!  So, I get the big net and you get the little net."
Plankton: What happens after we eat 'em?,"You don't eat 'em, you catch 'em, like this!  Like that."
Plankton: And?,And then you throw them back. But watch out for the stingers!
"Plankton: Stingers?  All knees will bow to Plankton! Hail, Plankton! I win, I win!","It's not about winning, it's about fun!"
Plankton: What's that?,"Fun is when you... fun is... it's like... it's kinda... sorta like a... What is fun? Let me spell it for you. ♪F is for friends who do stuff together, U is for you and me, N is for anywhere, anytime at all!♪"
"Clams: ♪Down here in the deep blue sea.♪ Plankton: ♪F is for fire that burns down the whole town, U is for uranium... bombs! N is for no survivors, when you-♪","Plankton! Those things aren't what fun is all about. Now, do it like this: ♪F is for friends who do stuff to-♪"
Plankton: Never! That's completely idiotic!,"Here, let me help you. ♪F is for friends who do stuff together, U is for you and me.♪ Try it!"
"Plankton: ♪N is for anywhere, anytime at all!♪ Clams: ♪Down here in the deep blue sea!♪ Plankton: Wait, I don't understand this, I feel all tingly inside. Should we stop?",No! That's how you're suppose to feel!
"Plankton: Well, I like it. Let's do it again!",Okay!
"SpongeBob and Plankton: ♪F is for frolic through all the flowers, U is for ukulele. N is nose-picking, chewing gum, and sand-licking, here with my best buddy. Hahahahahahahaha!♪ Mr. Krabs: Arrgh, mutiny. Plankton: And after that, we frolicked through the flowers, and then we... Karen: Sounds like fun. Plankton: Well, the really fun part was when we... Karen: What did you do with the Krabby Patty? Plankton: The what? Karen: The Krabby Patty, remember? Plankton: You can't rush these things, you know. Karen: You're forgetting about the mission! Plankton: What are you talking about? Karen: You're going native, Plankton! Look at yourself! Plankton: What? Mr. Krabs: I haven't seen Plankton in a while. He must be scheming.",Who knows? Maybe he's changed.
Mr. Krabs: Who knows? I think you knows!,"He's changed, I tell you!"
Plankton: SpongeBuddy! Yoo-hoo!,Plankton-buddy! Let’s go! I forgot this is a no friend zone!
"Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, may I speak to you in private.  You won't mind if I set this here, will you?","What's this all about, Mr. Krabs?"
"Mr. Krabs: He's a thief. Look at the lust in his eye, he's...",Why can't you just accept our friendship?
"Mr. Krabs: He's just after me recipe. I'll prove it to you.  Ah, you must be hungry after that long walk over here. Plankton: Oh, yes, but I'm saving my appetite for some popcorn at the movies. Mr. Krabs: Uhh... suit yourself.","We've had enough of your little tests, Mr. Krabs!  Come on, Plankton, let's get out of here."
"Mr. Krabs: Maybe the lad was right. Maybe Plankton's gone straight.  And maybe scallops will fly out of my pants!  Hang on there, laddie, I'm a-comin!","I sure like sequels, Plankton.  Hey, Bubble Bass, you're sitting on my friend.  Hey, Bubble Bass!"
"Plankton: Thanks for that, friend.",Sure thing.
Mr. Krabs: Listen up!,Mr. Krabs?
"Mr. Krabs: He's deceiving ya! Reach into his pocket now and take what he's got!  You too, boy!",I can't believe this!
Plankton: It's not what you think.,What is it then? Tell me what you see here!
Plankton: I... I don't see anything.,How can you not see it!?
"Plankton:  Okay, okay, I see it! It's a Krabby Patty, okay? I couldn't help it.",But we sang The F.U.N. Song!  I think I'm gonna be sick. How long?
Plankton: How long what?,How long were you planning on doing this?!  Tell me! What?!
"Plankton:  All right, it's true! I tricked you to get the Krabby Patty! But then you showed me friendship!  And now I realize... that's all I really wanted!",Really?
"Plankton:  No, not really. Being evil is too much fun! Movie Woman: Oh, darling, I know that nothing could ever tear us apart.","Mr. Krabs, he's gone. He got the patty. He won."
"Mr Krabs: Ho-ho, no he didn't, boy! Don't you know what’s behind these screens? Solid concrete!","I'm sorry, Mr. Krabs. I thought Plankton had changed."
"Mr. Krabs: Don't blame him, lad. No friendship could withstand the allure of a Krabby Patty! Now let's go back to the Krusty Krab and have a fresh one on me!","Aye, aye, Mr. Krabs!"
"Mr. Krabs: Well, maybe on a discount. Plankton: Huh?","Good morning, pineapple!  Good morning, Gary!"
Gary: Meow.,"Good morning, world! I'm ready! World?"
"Squidward: Talk to me. Delivery Man:  Package, sir. Squidward: A-ha!  I can't believe it's finally here! Delivery Man: Here ya go! Squidward: Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you. Delivery Man: Thank you, Mr... mmm... Tennisballs. Squidward:  That's Tentacles!",Squidward's last name is Tentacles?
"Patrick: Poor guy.  Hey, check out Squidward's new snail.",Fancy. So that's what came in the mail. Looks like Gary has a new little playmate.
"Squidward: Pfft, dream on, SpongeBob.  I wouldn't let Snellie here play with that mongrel mutt. She's a purebred. Patrick: Wow, a snail made out of bread. Squidward: No! Purebred means she is of the highest pedigree. See?  She even has her own papers. So if you'll excuse us, Snellie has to start her training.",Training?
Squidward: For Bikini Bottom's snail race. Snellie will be winning this Sunday. Patrick: Sunday?,"Well, I guess I can't enter Gary in that. Sunday's laundry day!"
"Squidward: No, SpongeBob. You can't enter Gary because Gary's a mutt.","Boy, you got that right. Gary's no...  hey! What makes you so sure Gary couldn't win that race?"
"Squidward: Papers. Patrick: Hmmm. 'Property of Squidward... Tentpoles.' Squidward: That's Tennisballs... de-derr, Tentacles! Come on, Snellie.",You know what? I'm starting to get the idea that Squidward thinks his snail is better than mine.
Patrick: No!,"Patrick, are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
"Patrick: Yeah, I should get a snail and enter it in that race and beat Squidward!","Are you thinking what I'm thinking?  No, no, no! I'm thinking about entering you in that race and beating Squidward's snail!  Looks like we're going to start our training now, ladies!  I call you a lady to humiliate and demean you. It's a motivational tool we coaches use."
"Sandy: Hmm... I don't know why, but I think I'll kick SpongeBob's butt tomorrow.","Kelp powder for muscle mass.  Raw eggs, 'cause they're cliché.  And nails for toughness."
Gary: Meow.,"Of course, I expect you to eat this.  It's scientifically designed to help you win tomorrow. Gary?  Wow, pretty good time."
"Patrick:  Hey SpongeBob, check out my new snail.","Patrick, your snail is a rock."
"Patrick: Yeah, thanks, I know. He's got nerves of steel. See you at the big race.","Boy, the competition's getting tough.  That's it, Gary.  We are going to start some serious training right now."
Gary: Meow.,"Alright Gary, let's start with some sprints.  On your mark. Get set. Go! Go Gary, go! Come on, go, Gary! It's all yours, Gary!  Gary?  Come on Gary, the big race is tomorrow. You got to start training if you want to win."
"Squidward:  Don't waste your breath, SpongeBob. That mongrel of yours doesn't have a chance against Snellie. Patrick:  Excuse me, but you two seem to be forgetting who the real winner will be... my snail. Squidward: Patrick, that's a rock. Patrick: Yeah, thanks. I know. He's got nerves of steel. Squidward: What are you standing on, anyway?  Like I said, don't even bother showing up tomorrow. Patrick: My snail's really got Squidward scared, huh, SpongeBob?","Sorry Patrick, Gary and I have got some serious work to do."
"Patrick: You can run, but you can't hide, SquarePants!","Alright Gary, no more fooling around. Time to get serious.  Come on, Gary, move it!  Up, up, up, up! Down, down, down, down!  Faster, faster, faster! Go, go, go!  Come on, push it, Gary, push it!  Move that shell!  Come on, Gary, move it!  Let's go, let's go, let's go! Faster!  Let's go, let's go! Speed it up, speed it up, speed it up! Move it, Gary! Move it, move it, move it, move it...  Stroke, stroke, stroke, stroke.  Come on, Gary, we're gonna be late for the big race!"
"Nat: Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to our live coverage of this year's annual spring classic, the 102nd Running of the Snail. And what a beautiful day for this sport of kings, of which I am a huge fan. Seriously, I'm just a fan. I was on my way to my seat, the door was open. Perch Perkins: Hey, what are you doing?!  Heh, sorry about that, folks. Let's go down to the field to join the mayor for the pre-game ceremony. Mayor: And now, for the lighting of the Torch of Good Sportsmanship, please join me in welcoming snail racing's first-ever champion, Lightning Larry Luciano! Perch Perkins: Would you look at that, folks? Lightning Larry Luciano, a living legend, slowly making his way center stage. And what a proud moment for this sport. The crowd is going absolutely nuts...  ...for Larry.  He's almost there. Uhh, yes, any minute now. Narrator: Two hours later... Perch Perkins: He's almost a quarter of the way there. Mayor: The torch is lit! Let the race begin. Squidward: Well, SpongeBob, I must admit, I didn't think that mongrel mutt of yours would even find the starting line. Congratulations.","Save it for the Loser Circle, Squidward. Gary happens to be in the best shape for the rest of his life."
"Squidward: I'll alert the paramedics. Patrick:  Good one, Squidward. Official:  You guys ready? Patrick:  A burglar!","No, Patrick, that's the official."
"Official: We're ready to start here, folks. Squidward: Okay, Snellie, let's show these common, garden-variety snails what superior breeding is all about. Snellie: Meow.","Alright, Gary, listen up, the competition is going to be fierce. You're the undersnail. Everybody's already counting you out. Now get out there and win, so we can rub Squidward's big fat nose in it."
"Gary: Meow. Patrick: This is what you've been training for, Rocky. This is why we're here. Official: On your mark. Get set.  Slither! Perch Perkins: And they're off! Number six, Snellie, rockets out of the starting blocks, leaving the other two competitors in the dust!",What!
"Squidward: Go, Snellie, you got it, baby!","What are you doing, Gary?! The race has started! You let Snellie take the lead! Let's go, Gary. Start moving! You're blowing everything we trained for! Blowing it!"
"Patrick: It's okay, Rocky. You go when you feel like it.","Gary, are you listening to me?! Get the anchors out of your pants right now!  Don't give me that look! I said now, mister! Get going, Gary!  Go, go, go, go, go!"
"Perch Perkins: And there goes number 7 out of the starting gate. Oh, hang on, folks. He doesn't look so good.","Not good enough, Gary, not good enough! Faster!"
Perch Perkins: I do not like the look of this.,"Come on, Gary, it's a race! A race! Have you heard of 'em?!"
Perch Perkins: That coach is pushing that snail too hard!,"Faster, Gary, faster, faster, faster, faster!  Huh?"
"Perch Perkins: Oh, looks like number 7 has a blowout!  Oops, make that two, folks.","Uhh, Gary?"
"Perch Perkins: Plus, a blown head gasket! Oh, and the poor creature's still going for it.","Umm, Gary, you can stop now!"
Perch Perkins: He's losing control!,"You can take a break now if you want to, Gary."
Perch Perkins: He's spinning out of control!  He's heading straight for the wall!,"No!  Hold on, Gary, I'm coming!"
"Perch Perkins: Whoa. One of the coaches seems to have raced onto the track. That is an automatic disqualification. Looks like number six has this race all wrapped up, ladies and gentlemen. Squidward: Come on, Snellie, it's all you, baby!","Oh, Gary, I'm sorry! Why didn't you just say I was pushing it too hard?!"
Gary: Meow.,"You did?  Oh, Gary, why didn't you tell me I wasn't listening?!"
Gary: Meow.,"You did?  Oh, Gary! Oh, Gary!"
Snellie: Meow. Squidward: What?!,Gary?  Oh!
"Crowd: Aww! Perch Perkins:  My, oh, my. Folks, I have never seen anything quite like this. It seems Snellie, the leader, just went back to comfort Gary.","Looks like you and I are in-laws, eh, Squidward?"
"Squidward: But that's impossible. If Snellie didn't win, then... Announcer: And the winner is Rocky! Squidward: I can't believe it. My purebred, which cost me $1,700, lost to a rock. Patrick: Don't worry, Squidward, I know how much you wanted to win, so I had the trophy engraved to you. Squidward: Gosh, Patrick, thanks.  The 1st Place Snail Racing Cup Presented to Squidward...  ...Tortellini?! Will I ever win? Sandy:  That's for yesterday, SquarePants!","All right, Gary, ready for your yearly shell waxing?"
Gary: Meow.,"Just look at that shine! Now let's check under the hood.  Geez, Gary, this place is a real snail-sty."
Gary: Meow.,"Still? From New Year's Eve?  What?! I've been looking everywhere for this, Gary.  My favorite novelty t-shirt!  Oh, someone's here."
Mailman: Special delivery for SpongeBob SquarePants.,Special delivery? Just for me? You think I'm...special?
"Mailman: Alright, do we have to go through this every time I give you your mail? Sheesh.","What could it be today, Gary?"
Gary: Meow.,A videotape?  You're a winner -- SpongeBob SquarePants. I'm SpongeBob SquarePants!
"Announcer: Karate Island: A serene and exotic location where nature and beauty abound, and hundreds of fighting styles collide in a wave of non-stop, pulsating, no-hold barred action! For centuries, the world's top karate artists have journeyed to this land to be crowned King of Karate.",King of Karate?
Announcer: Now it's your turn... Announcer 2: ...SpongeBob SquarePants. Announcer: You've won an all-expense paid trip to Karate Island! Hi-yah! Where you'll be crowned this year's King of Karate!,"Ooh... Did you hear that, Gary? I'm going to be crowned...  King of Karate!  Whoo-hoo!"
"Sandy: Howdy, SpongeBob.","Hello, Sandy. Have you heard the news? I've been invited to Karate Island to be crowned the king of karate."
Sandy: Karate Island? I've never heard of Karate Island.,"Oh, sure, Sandy, all the big karate experts go there."
"Sandy: But, my karate is better than yours by a country mile, and I've never been invited.","Maybe your karate was the best, but now they've recognized a new number one."
Sandy: There's something rotten in the Alamo. I'd better tag along with you and see if it's on the up-and-up.,"All right, Sandy, you can come with me to witness my crowning moment.  Are we there yet?"
Sandy: Yup. That's it over there.,What make you think that's Karate Island?
Sandy: I don't know -- lucky guess?,"Hello there, the King of Karate has arrived."
"Fish: Welcome to my island, SpongeBob-san.","Oh, thank you."
"Master Udon: I am Master Udon. Sandy: Howdy, Master Udon, I'm Sandy Cheeks. I do a little karate, myself.","Sandy, Sandy, Sandy. Mr. Udon isn't interested in a karate novice like you. He only has time for royalty."
"Sandy: Oh, brother. Master Udon: Please, show me some of your moves, Master SpongeBob.","You hear that, Sandy? He called me master. Bring on your best fighters! I'll try to go easy on 'em."
"Sandy: SpongeBob, your karate's not good enough to handle those sidewinders.","Pa-shaw! Watch and learn, sister.  Yup. That's how the King of Karate does it. Who's next?"
"Sandy: Something smells like rancid rodeo around here. Master Udon: Excellent. Truly, you are King of Karate.",The one and only.
Master Udon: We must make ready for your coronation.,I'm ready to be King of Karate!
"Master Udon: King of Karate-san, it is time for you to take your rightful place on your throne.",My throne.
"Sandy: All right, Udon, I'm on to you. This place is as crooked as a dizzy sidewinder.","Come, Sandy, take your place next to the king and share in my crowning achievement.  Bring a seat for my air-breathing friend."
"Sandy: SpongeBob, y'all are getting a bit wily.","Oh, do I detect a note of jealousy, Sandy?"
"Sandy: Heck, I could karate you into a country fiddle with one paw tied behind my back.",But who's being crowned King of Karate - not you.
"Sandy: I'm getting off this crazy train! Master Udon: Master, don't worry about her. She is missing out on the opportunity of a lifetime.  Let the coronation begin!","Sandy's going to miss out, big time."
Sandy: That dang SpongeBob. Who does he think he is? I taught that yellow egomaniac everything he knows about fighting -- and that ain't much.,No!
"Sandy: SpongeBob's in trouble!  SpongeBob is the King of Karate. He doesn't need me. Eh, he can handle this himself.","Sandy, I need you! I can't handle this myself."
"Sandy: Hold on, buddy!","No, Sandy!"
"Master Udon: She will never reach you. She must first pass through the 'Four Floors of Fear'. Sandy:  SpongeBob? The Tickler: Ha. Ha-ha-ha. You cannot pass unless you defeat me, The Tickler, and my iron-finger style.  Ha-ha. Look! Sandy: Huh? The Tickler: Prepare for the tickling of your life! Sandy: Taste these! The Tickler: Oh no! Jelly-filled donuts? How did you know they were my weakness? Sandy: No one can resist jelly-filled.  Sticky around, I'll be back with the glazed. The Tickler: I could use a wet napkin. Sandy:  All right, who's next? Lip Service: Halt! No one advances past me, Lip Service, and my power-flexi dynamo-lip thruster style. Lip Service: Dance, squirrel, dance. Sandy: Advanced hair-dryer style! Lip Service:  What do you expect to do with that?  Oh, no! Not chapped lips! Sandy: That's enough lip out of you. Filthy Phil: No one has ever made it to the lair of Filthy Phil. No one passes except me. Now, feel the steam of my horrible body odor. Sandy: Ha-ha, Phil! Your foul stench can't permeate my fresh-air dome. Filthy Phil: Fresh-air dome?  Man, I really do stink. Master Udon: You are one impressive squirrel. You even made a costume change. Sandy: Release SpongeBob! Master Udon: Never.  He is forbidden to leave until...he signs this contract. Sandy: What are you talking about? Master Udon: Real estate. Sandy: You mean this whole thing was a scam to get us to buy real estate? Master Udon: Yes. If there was a real Karate Island, I'd be a millionaire.",You mean I'm not King of Karate?
"Master Udon: No. But you could be King of Condos. Here, let me explain. It's really quite simple.  See, if you invest in a time share here on Condo Island, you can see your equity increase ten-fold. Perhaps you and your yellow friend would like to set up a timeshare plan?","Don't do it, Sandy!"
"Sandy:  I won't give in to your timeshare vacation scam! Master Udon: Then give into my fists. Sandy: You're in the soup now, Udon!","Sandy, I'm sorry I acted like a jerk back there. Thanks for saving me from...  buying a condo."
"Sandy: Aw, shucks, SpongeBob, that's what friends are for.","I still have one question, though. Does this mean I'm not King of Karate anymore?"
"Sandy: You are in my book, SpongeBob. You are in my book. Now let me tell you about real estate. It's all about location... Squidward: I'm here! The King of Clarinets has arrived!","Good morning, day!  Ow!  I stubbed my toe!  I stubbed my toe! I was walking around and I stubbed my toe!  D'oh, that was my favorite shirt."
"Radio DJ: And that was Aja by Eely Dan. Next up is Lionel Fishy with his hit, Sad Song.",That's a sad song!
"Squidward:  That SpongeBob is such a crybaby. Lucky me, I get to work with him all day. Mr. Krabs:  SpongeBob, guess what?  Yeah, I'll come back later.","He was a good little Krabby Patty.  I didn't know him well, but in the few short seconds between grill and floor, I----I came to love him!  It just isn't fair!"
"Squidward: SpongeBob, will you stop crying?!",But the Krabby Patty fell on the floor and he—
Squidward: Krabby Patty nothing!  Krabby Patty nothing!  What now?,You yelled at me! You yelled at me!!!
"Squidward: All right, look. So far today, and it's not even 2:00 yet, you have cried 43 times.",And you wrote that number on a chalkboard.
Squidward: Yes!,Why?
Squidward:  I have no idea.,"Oh, Squidward, there's no way I cry that much. There's not that many tears in my brain."
Squidward: Au contraire.,What's this?
Squidward: It's a quick montage of flashbacks I've edited together that shows the hundreds of tears you have cried over the years.,Boo! Hoo! Boohoo! Sob. Whimper.
Narrator: Thousands of tears later...,"Wow, guess I do cry a lot. I promise I won't cry anymore."
"Squidward: Oh, nonsense! I bet you can't go the rest of the day without crying.",Excuse me a minute.
Patrick:  Star... residence. Patrick speaking.,"Hey, Patrick."
"Patrick: Hey, buddy! Is it 7:30 already?","No, I'm still at work."
Patrick: How can I help you?,Do you think that I could go the rest of the day without crying?
"Patrick:  Well, of course you can.","Okay, great, thanks, Patrick."
Patrick: Umm... sure. And did you remember to put that package outside where I told you?,"Yeah, but I left it in a different spot. Just ask Gary, he knows where it is."
"Patrick: Oh, yeah.  Hey, good one, buddy. You almost had me there.",Okay.
"Patrick: Yeah, talk to you later.","All right, see ya.  Okay, it's a bet."
"Squidward:  Fine. If you cry one tear before midnight, you have to...  Wash my bike, clean out my rain gutters, and do all my yard work for a year.","Sounds fair to me. And if I make it to midnight without crying, you'll come to a slumber party at my place. Just you and me.  Ooh, what's the matter?"
"Squidward: Um, nothing, I just threw up a little in my mouth.  No need to worry, Squiddy. You've outdone yourself. He'll be crying in ten minutes.","Thanks again for walking home with me, Squidward."
"Squidward: There's a first time for everything.  Also, I'd like to win this bet as soon as possible.",I am not gonna cry. I am not gonna cry.  I can do this!
"Squidward:  Do what?  Oh, my! What a lovely sunset. Take a look, SpongeBob.  Isn't that beautiful?",I've never seen such a beautiful underwater sunset.
"Squidward: Really tugs the heartstrings, doesn't it?",It's...
Squidward: Is that a tear I see?,"Oh, well, sunset's over.  Nice of you to drop in, neighbor."
"Squidward: Nice of you to have me, I-- Oh, look SpongeBob. Gary's sleeping.",Aww. He looks like an angel.
Squidward: That is just so adorable. Almost makes you want to cry.,Yeah...  No! There shall be no tears in this house tonight!  La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la...
"Squidward: Oh, SpongeBob.",Yes?
"Squidward: Your mail's here. Ooh, oh look, it's a postcard from your dear mother and father so far away.","Mother, father?"
"Squidward:  Dear SpongeBob, we are having a wonderful time in the South Seas and we miss you very, very much.","Ohh...  My subscription to Jellyfishing Monthly's expired. Remind me to renew that, will you, Squidward?"
"Squidward:  No problem. Anchor Fish: Welcome back to Bikini Bottom News. Our top story tonight: a series of sad tales. Squidward: Ooh, let's turn it up. Anchor Fish: Tragedy in the park when a young snail caught in a tree almost didn't get down. Petey:  Meow. Anchor Fish: However, he did get down.",Hooray!
"Anchor Fish: Coming up, an interview with a manatee who didn't get what he wanted for his birthday.","Oh, no."
"Anchor Fish: And finally, sad news for Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy fans.","What, what, what?"
Anchor Fish: They will only be showing The Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy Show seven times a day instead of eight—,"Let's watch something else Squidward, okay?!"
"Squidward: Fine! Kid Fish: Hey, Dad, how about a game of catch? Unnamed father: Sorry, son, I'm late for work. Kid Fish:  Okay, Dad. Unnamed father:  I guess I can stay for a few throws. Kid Fish:  I love you, Dad. Unnamed father:  I love you, son.",You know what they say about that television. Rots the brain.
"Patrick:  Hey, thanks for the TV, SpongeBob!  I'm gonna watch it all night! Squidward: It's getting late. I'd better bring out the big guns.  Oh, SpongeBob.","Yes, Squidward?"
Squidward: What would you say to a little music?,I'd say... I'll go get some refreshments.
Squidward: Don't be long. My secret weapon is waiting.,"You said something, Squidward?"
"Squidward: Oh, I just said, Relax and enjoy the song.","That's a really sad song, Squidward."
"Squidward: You're not gonna cry though, are you?","No.  Time really does fly when you're having fun. Well, I'd better start getting ready for bed."
"Squidward:  Uh, SpongeBob. No-no-no-no, wait.","Yes, Squidward?"
Squidward: How about a bedtime story?,"Now you're talking!  Whatcha gonna read me, Squidward?"
Squidward: Umm...  How 'bout The Little Angler Who Got Lost?,That sounds like a very sad story.
"Squidward: Oh, very sad. Umm... There once was a little angler  who was, uh, little and sad.  One day the little sad angler was walking through the park.",Walking...
"Squidward: But, he was sad, because...because he was lost... he was lost and very sad. And then, he— he started to cry.  He cried and he cried. And he cried even more.  And he kept crying...  ...and crying and crying and crying and...that's right. You can do it.","I'm wondering if it might not be so healthy to hold in all my tears, Squidward."
"Squidward: You're exactly right, SpongeBob. Let it all out. Don't fight the feel-- Ten, nine...do it, do it, cry...eight, seven, six, five...come on!  ...four, three, two, one!  Midnight!  Well, SpongeBob, it looks like you won the... Patrick: Wow, what a great show. Mr. Krabs:  Well, at least we're still together, little ones.","More popcorn, Squidward?"
"Squidward: No, no. No, no. Please.","Don't be shy now. I made extra.  That's all right, let it out. You can cry all you want. You're among friends here."
"Tina-Fran: Squidward, we love you! Audience Member #2: I love you, Squidward. You're my favorite! Squidward: Alright, alright. Time for another hideous day at work. Ahh, just hang in there, gorgeous.  Your star will shine at the clarinet recital tomorrow.","Time for another glorious day at work.  Good morning, Squidward!  And isn't it a lovely morning? Why are you playing the clarinet on your way to work?"
"Squidward: I'm practicing for my clarinet recital. Soon, all of Bikini Bottom will recognize the talent that is Squidward Tentacles. Goodbye, SpongeBoob.","See ya at the Krusty Krab, Squidwart. Hey, Sandy, what's this?"
"Sandy: Well, this here is my new matter transporter. It can move things from one place to another in the blink of an eye.","Ooh, that sounds fancy."
Sandy: Let me show you how it works.,Whoa!  Where'd it go?
Sandy: Just where you think it would be. Mrs. Puff: Oh!,"Uh-oh, I'm late for work. Do you think your machine can zap me over to the Krusty Krab?"
"Sandy: I always did want to try a critter. Sure, why not? Get in there, SpongeBob.",Whoo-hoo!
Sandy: Hold on tight.,"Gee, Sandy, this sure feels..."
"Squidward:  Well, here we go again.","Hey, Squidward!"
Sandy: What's going on with this thing?  What in tarnation?,"Hi, Sandy!"
"Squidward: I'm not sure what it is, but something seems different about me.","Yeah, me too."
"Squidward: Hey, what are you doing with my hand? What am I doing with your hand? Ahh! What is this? We're all mixed up together.  This is horrible! I have my clarinet recital tomorrow!","Oh, it's not so bad, Squidward. Now we can be best buddies and do everything together, forever."
"Squidward:  Sandy, was this your doing? You've got to get us separated! Sandy: Well, I wish I knew how. Squidward: Well, you have to do something! I can't stay stuck to him! Sandy: Hmmm, I wonder what would happen if I tried zapping you back in the transporter. Squidward: Uhh, yeah, yeah, yeah, good idea. Let's try it. Sandy: Well, here goes nothing. Mable: All right, children. Today's Timmy's birthday. You know what that means. Ready, Timmy? Doctor: Congratulations, Mrs. Smith. You gave birth to a healthy baby boy. Mrs. Smith: May I see my baby? Doctor: Of course. One-Eyed Monster: I've been in love with you ever since I first laid my eye on you.  Hey, baby, what's your name? Squidward: It's no use, Sandy. We're still the same. Sandy: Well, that's a darn shame. You know what, I was working on the blueprints for a new invention. But it's still in the embryonic stage. Squidward: Try anything! I cannot go to my clarinet recital like this. Sandy: I'll continue working on it. In the meantime, you boys keep your head up.",Together forever.
"Squidward: Misery.  SpongeBob, hasn't anyone taught you how to ride a bike?","Don't worry, I'll drive."
"Squidward:  Ow, ow, ow. SpongeBob! Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. Customer #1: I gotta lay off the hot sauce. Mr. Krabs:  What in blazes is going on in here?","Oh, hi, Mr. Krabs."
"Mr. Krabs: What are you two doing laying around? Get to work. Squidward: If you say so. Mr. Krabs: Egad! What happened to ya? Uhh, I don't want to know. Just go do your jobs.","Aye aye, cap'n!"
Squidward: Do you have to be such an accommodating buffoon?,"Squidward, everybody knows I'm a sponge. I look nothing like a balloon."
"Squidward: I don't have time for this. I've got to man the cash register.  Whew. Can I help you? Customer #2: Can I get two Krabby Patties, please? Squidward: SpongeBob, I need two Krabby Patties.",Two Krabby Patties coming right up.  I can't... reach the buns.
"Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, what's the holdup?!","Sorry, Mr. Krabs. I'm on it."
"Mr. Krabs: Time is money, boy.","Time is money. Right.  Hello, bun. At last we meet."
"Mr. Krabs: Alright, that's it. I can't afford you jeopardizing me business. You two are more trouble than you're worth.  And don't come back until you get this problem sorted out.","Look on the bright side, Squidward. At least we still have each other."
"Squidward: That's how we got into this predicament in the first place, you imbecile! Now if you'll excuse me, I'd like a moment of peace. Surfer: Whoa, rock on, freaky bro! Squidward: Sandy! Sandy! Please tell me you've figured out a way to separate us. Sandy: Say hello to the 'Molecular Separator Ray'. Squidward: Hello, Molecular Separator Ray. Well, let's get on with it. My clarinet recital is tomorrow night. Sandy: Uhh, well, I'm not quite done with it yet. Squidward: What'd you say? Sandy: I'm still putting it together. At best I'll have it ready, uhh, the day after tomorrow? Maybe? Squidward: What?!? Day after tomorrow?! No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No! I have a performance tomorrow! I can't be stuck to that yellow freak!  Sandy, please, you've got to do it before the show! Sandy: Well, uhh, I suppose... I'll have it ready before you go on. Squidward: Of course.  Oh, my.  Where are you, Sandy? Sandy? I can't do it. I can't go out there.","Squidward, this is your moment. The story you will tell when you look back as a... superstar!"
Squidward: Superstar?,Now go out there and give them the best darn show they've ever seen!
"Squidward: You're right! The show must go on! Announcer: Ladies and gentlefish, Bikini Bottom's Community Rec Center is proud to present: Squidward Tentacles. Evelyn: Honey, I'm scared.","Uhh, hi."
"Wobbles: Whoa. Rock on, freaky bro! Yeah. Whoo!","Wow, they really liked it."
"Mr. Krabs:  There you go, Squiddy! Squidward: They... they... they're cheering. Superstardom. This must be what it feels like. This is what it looks like. What it  sounds like. And...  ...what it smells like. Oh, simply intoxicating. Sandy: Whoo-wee, there you boys are. Looks like I'm just in time. SpongeBob and Squidward: Sandy? Sandy: One blast of this Molecular Separator Ray and you'll be separated for good. Squidward:  Hmph. Mary: I think I'm going to be sick! Billy: Ah, I'm out of here! Squidward: Huh, no, wait. Wait!  Oh, my one moment of fame... gone.  There's got to be some way to reverse this. Sandy: No, Squidward! That's a very sensitive device!","Squidward, I wouldn't--!"
"Therapist: So, what seems to be the problem, Mr. Tentacles? Squidward: It all started when I was born. Johnny: Welcome, sports fans, to the 21st annual Bikini Bottom Fry Cook Games. Harold: I declare these Fry Cook Games... open! Harold: I declare these Fry Cook Games... open! Johnny: So begin the 21st Fry Cook Games. I'm a realistic Fish Head, and it's a beautiful day here at Bikini Bottom's Fast Food Coliseum. Johnny: They come from everywhere microwaves hum. Johnny: Patties sizzle. Johnny: And heat lamps keep the fast food spirit warm... and soggy. But the real story is the bitter rivalry between former competitors Mr. Krabs of the Krusty Krab and Plankton of the Chum Bucket. Johnny: Who could forget the year Mr. Krabs won gold for this five hundred pickle clean-and-jerk? Johnny: Not Plankton. Johnny: Or when Plankton won the hearts of millions by performing this perfect onion ring routine... with a broken antenna? Johnny: Krabs wasn't moved. Johnny: And now, late word is that this year, the Krusty Krab will be represented by a new competitor, on what is perhaps the greatest day of his young life.","This is perhaps the greatest day of my young life, Mr. Krabs. I can't believe I'm representing the Krusty Krab in the Fry Cook Games. To bring home the gold is to bring honor and glory to the Krusty Krab."
Mr. Krabs: And all that free publicity will bring in customers! So don't lose!,"Aye, aye, Mr. Krabs! Krusty Krab! Krusty Krab! Krusty Krab!"
"Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob.","Hi, Patrick. Krusty Krab! Krusty Krab! Krusty Krab!"
Patrick: Are you trying to move the ground? You'll never move it like that. You gotta get under...  …neath it!,"Come on, Patrick, I'm trying to train for the games."
Patrick: Games? Can I play?,"Ah, sorry, Patrick. You have to be a fry cook."
Patrick: Be a fry cook? Is that all I gotta do? That'll be easy!,What do you mean easy?
Patrick: How hard can it be?,They don't let just anybody be a fry cook. We're an elite corp!
"Patrick: Oh, come on. You're just flippin' patties.","Hey, flipping is not as easy as it sounds!"
Patrick: Tssss...,"Why don't you go home, Patrick? You can compete in the Laying Under a Rock All Day Games!"
"Patrick: Well, at least I don't polish my fingernails.",You take that back!
Patrick: Fingernails! Fingernails! Fingernails!,You don't even have fingernails.
Patrick: I cannot believe what I am hearing!,How can you hear it?! You don't have ears either!
Patrick: Holes! Holes!,Cone head!
Patrick: Yellow!,Pink!
Patrick: I'm gonna get a job as a fry cook and it'll be easy!,Fine! Krusty Krab! Krusty Krab! Krusty Krab!
"Mr. Krabs: What's that smell in the air? I smell Plankton! Plankton: Oh yeah?! Well, I smell... Pew! He's right. Plankton: I love messing things up. Plankton: Are you ready to do or die, Krabs? Mr. Krabs: Always ready, Plankton. Always ready. Plankton: Good. Because today, the Chum Bucket is going to kick...  ...your carapace! Mr. Krabs: That's what you think, but I got me a champion-- SpongeBob! Show him!  Look at him. In his prime. You ain't got no chance! Plankton: That's where you're wrong, Krabs, for I too have a champion.  Ladies and gentlemen, turn your attention to the southwest corridor!  Other way!  Imbeciles.  And... stop! Perfect.  Representing the Chum Bucket, a creature so fearsome, so terrible, so mind-bendingly large, that those of you with weak constitutions may want to leave the stadium. Muscular Fish: I gotta get outta here! Plankton: Too late! Ready or not, here he comes. Quake with fear, you mortal fools. Bow down before the awesome might of...  ...this huge guy who is carrying the real contestant...  ...Patrick Star!","Patrick, what are you doing here? You're not a fry cook."
"Patrick: Oh, yes I am, Mr. SpongeBob SuperiorPants. Patrick: Check it out! Patrick: I've been working for the Chum Bucket for almost five minutes.","Well, it doesn't matter anyway, 'cause you're gonna eat my dust."
Patrick: Nuh-uh. I'm eating my own dust!,Not if I eat it first!
Patrick: Yellow!,"Pink! I can't believe it, Mr. Krabs. I thought Patrick was my friend."
"Mr. Krabs: Friend? Not in here, he ain't.",What do you mean?
Plankton: He's not really your friend. Patrick: He's not? Plankton: He's plotting your downfall right now!,He is?
Mr. Krabs: He's gonna stab you in the back. Patrick: He wouldn't! Plankton: Of course he would. Just look at him. Square: the shape of evil! Mr. Krabs: He's making a mockery of your profession. Are we gonna let some pretender take away what belongs to the Krusty Krab?,No!
Plankton: Then get mean! Patrick: I'm mean! Mr. Krabs: Get angry!,I'm angry!
"SpongeBob and Patrick: Huge Fish:  Ahhh. Johnny: Our first event, the deep fry pole vault. Mr. Krabs: Win this one for the Krusty Krab.",For the Krusty Krab!
Plankton: Win this one because I told you to. Patrick: Because you told me to! Lou: Fish sticks! Get your fish sticks here! Johnny: The next event: the chocolate high dive.,"Make way for the real fry cook, Patrick."
"Johnny: For his dive, SpongeBob will be attempting a full banana fudge pop with two sticks. Johnny: And now, absolute silence.",I scream for ice cream!
Johnny: Perfect entry! And toasted almonds? That's unexpected. Johnny: He stuck it! Johnny: And just look at that even coating.,"Top that, Pinky."
"Plankton: Almonds? Curse him, that's good. But perhaps a bit too highbrow for this crowd. He thinks he's better than them! Plankton: Better than you! Plankton: Now get up there and show him how the common man prepares his frozen dairy treats! Johnny: Patrick will be resurrecting an old favorite. The single scoop strawberry cone with a chocolate dip. Johnny: Just look at that concentration. Johnny: Ooh, a little shaky on that entry. Johnny: But just look at that form! Patrick: Take that, yellow boy!","Laugh while you can, Pinky. It's not over yet."
"Patrick: That's what you think, but it's not over yet. Johnny: It's not over yet! With the score tied, we go to our final event! Bun wrestling. Who will take home the gold? Mr. Krabs of the Krusty Krab? Mr. Krabs:  Don't forget, he called ye yellow. Johnny: Or Plankton of the Chum Bucket? Plankton: Don't forget, he called you pink! Patrick: Forget the Chum Bucket. This is personal. Patrick:  No! My name's... not... Rick!",I don't like you!
Patrick: I don't like you more!,I never liked you!
Patrick: I a thousand times never liked you!,Pink!
Patrick: Yellow!,Yellow?
Patrick: Pink? SpongeBob and Patrick: You do care!,"Let's promise never to fight again, buddy."
"Patrick: Yeah, pal. Let's go home. Mr. Krabs: Hey! Where ya going? Plankton: Get back here and kill each other! Patrick: You're my best friend ever.","You too, Patrick."
"Patrick: You know, these were white when I bought 'em. Patrick: After you.","Ah, thank you, Patrick."
Patrick: My turn.,Neato.  Watch this.
Patrick:  Wow.  Monosodium glutamate!,"You know, Patrick,  we should spice up our bubble blowing."
"Patrick: Yeah, yeah. Spice.  No spice. Hmm...  Hot sauce!  Spicy bubbles.",Hmm...
"Patrick: I wonder if hot sauce is bad for our eyes. Both: Nah. Squidward:    20 years of paint-staking care, and my bonsai portrait is almost complete. Oh! Oh, my. What's this?  I missed a spot. Not to worry. You'll be perfect soon, as perfect as me. Hmm...   Oh. Look what I've done.  Oh, no! Bonsai Squidward:  Squidward. Squidward: What? What? Who said that? Bonsai Squidward: It's me, your bonsai Squidward. Will you grant me my final request? Squidward: Of..of course.  What...what...what is it? Bonsai Squidward: Avenge me. Squidward: Avenge me?  SpongeBob! Patrick: I must have more.",You want more?
"Squidward: SpongeBob, you moron, you ruined my bon…  ...sai.","Let's go to Sandy's. Sandy, Sandy, check out these new spicy bubbles that Patrick invented."
"Patrick: Yeah, I thinked it up with my own head. Now I'm as smart as Sandy",Maybe even smarter.
"Sandy: Smarter, huh? Well, I'd love to try out your new-fangled bubbles, Patrick, but I've got to fix these air lines to my treedome. They're all clogged up and the lack of fresh air is making me woozy. Patrick: Why don't you just breathe water like a smart person?  Guess you're just too dumb.","I know, Sandy. I'll use these spicy bubbles. They'll clean out your pipes for you."
"Sandy: That's sweet of you, SpongeBob, but a bunch of little old bubbles ain't gonna clear these air lines. Sandy:",Oops.
"Sandy: I'll tar and feather you nincompoops later. My suit's air supply is nearing empty. Luckily, I have just enough air in my submarine to get to the surface and refill my air tanks.",Phew! Thank goodness. Allow me to get the door.
"Patrick: Even I knew that was dumb. Sandy: Oh, no! I have only a few minutes of air left! I'm far too dizzy already. You'll have to drive, SpongeBob.",Whoo!  How's Sandy doing back there?
"Patrick: I'm not sure. Let me check.  Oh! Sandy: Hey there, Patty-Pat-Pat-Pat-Patrick. Careful where you're breathing. You don't want to disturb the subatomic particle rodeo. Yee-haw, micro-dawgies! Rope them molecules. Patrick: She's totally losing it. Sandy:  Are there cobwebs on my face? 'Cause it feels like there's cobwebs on my face. Patrick: Never mind. She seems fine.","Hold on just a little longer, Sandy, we're almost there. I can see sunlight..  ...horrible dehydrating sunlight."
"Sandy: Gimme that wheel, SquareButt. I know a shortcut.","Make sure and hold her tight, Patrick."
Patrick: Don't worry. She's not going anywhere. Sandy: Ahh...  You taste like glass.,Blah! Fresh air. Let's hurry up and get this over with.
Patrick: Get what over with?,Where's Sandy
Patrick: I thought she was with you.,Uh-oh.
"Sandy: Hang on, fellers! I got a hankering for a Krabby Patty","Sandy, what are you doing? Air is up there."
"Sandy: Yeah, yeah. Right after I grab a quick bit at the Krusty Krab. Yee-haw. SpongeBob and Patrick: No! Sandy: Oh, well, I guess I won't be needing this anymore.","No Sandy, you need air, not food!"
Mr. Krabs: Hey! What's going on out here?,"Mr. Krabs, Sandy's run out of that crazy air stuff that she needs to breathe. We have to find some right now or she'll be headed for the last roundup."
"Mr. Krabs: Well, okay. I suppose I can't have her croaking at the Krusty Krab. That'd be bad for business. All right, let's see here. Hmm... Oxygen. I believe. Good old atomic number eight. Sandy: Patrick: Uh--uh--  Hey, everyone. Look! There's some air bubbles trapped on the ceiling. Mr. Krabs: But how are you gonna get them down?",Never fear. I know what to do. We can use these straws to suck the bubbles down.
Mr. Krabs: Wait a minute. Those straws cost me money!,"Oh, don't worry, Mr. Krabs. I'll put them all back."
"Patrick: Hurry up, SpongeBob. I'm no doctor, but I don't think squirrels are suppose to be blue.","Okay, I'm ready."
"Patrick: Just a little bit further. Okay, got it.","Hurry up, Patrick."
Sandy: Hm-mmm. Patrick: Looks like her color's coming back.,"That's good, but is it gonna be good enough? Mr. Krabs, you must have some spare Squidward always says you're full of hot air."
"Squidward: I said what? Mr. Krabs: So you think I'm full of hot air, do ye? Well, in this case, you're right. There's usually an air bubble or two trapped inside me shell.  Go ahead. Don't be shy. Pearl: Daddy, there's a submarine on the roof. Oh, you seem kind of busy. Maybe I should come back later.","No, Pearl. Don't go. You're a mammal, right?"
"Pearl: Yeah, I guess so.","And you breathe air, right?"
"Pearl: Sure, my nose is full of it.",You've got to help Sandy. She needs to share your air.
Sandy: Pearl: I guess us mammals have to stick together.,"Okay, hold still. This may pinch a little  Okay, Pearl let 'er rip.  Now just keep breathing, Pearl. Come with me, Patrick. I have an idea that'll fix everything.  I'm gonna go up to the surface to get some air.  When I tug on this rope, you pull me down."
Patrick: But how are you going to get up there?,I'll use this tank of oxygen as a makeshift rocket.
"Patrick: An oxygen tank! Great idea, buddy.","I know. Wish me luck, old friend."
"Patrick:  SquarePants, I salute you.","Okay, SpongeBob, it's time to catch a breath for Sandy.  So fresh it hurts.  Okay, Patrick, pull me down."
"Patrick: Hey, who did that? Hey! Oh! Ghost!","Yeah, here we go."
"Patrick: Ah, ah! Oof!","Welcome back, Sandy."
Sandy: I'm alive? And the treedome's full of air? And sort of dry? How'd you fellers pull it off?,"Oh, you could say we had a little help from a big bubble."
"Sandy: Hmm... In case you forgot, it was bubbles that got us into this mess in the first place. I don't want you blowing anymore bubbles around my house. SpongeBob and Patrick: Uh-oh.","Nice try, alarmy, but you've got to get up pretty early to wake me up on picture day!"
Gary: Meow.,"Now, if you'll excuse me, Gary, I must go make myself picturesque.  Perfect! I'm ready. Whoo-hoo!"
Gary: Meow.,"Fine, fine, not to worry, no problem.  I'm ready, again!"
Gary: Meow?,"It's time to take a corrective approach.  Good morning Squidward! I'd love to stop and chat right now, but it's Picture Day. Whoa! Still looking good, Spongy, and Boating School is just around the corner."
"Harold: Take cover! The teenagers, they've been let out of school and they're pelting us with balloons filled with...",Ketchup?
"Harold: Save yourself, kid!  I'm finished! Teenager: Gotcha!","Wait, wait, don't squirt! Please, you've got to spare me. I've got picture day today."
"Teenager: Oh, pictures, huh? Well, let me help you with your makeup, HAH!","Well, I'm not sure how I did it, but I..."
"Old Man: Fiddlesticks, missed again.","And now, as an extra precaution to keep me looking shiny and new...  No grime can penetrate the glossy sheen of...  Sponge Gloss.  There it is. So close, and still so shiny.  Hey, it's just water.  Aww! Stamps?!  Oatmeal!  Glue."
"Patrick: Hey, buddy.","Patrick, a little privacy here."
"Patrick: Oh, sorry, SpongeBob. I just came over to borrow some jelly.","Well, go ahead, but I don't have time to play right now. I am late for picture day, and I just can't seem to get to school without being covered by unsightly debris. If only I had a sealed barrier to protect me from the filth of the outside world."
Patrick: I have a solution.,Ew!
Patrick: Ah. I have solved my hunger problem.,"That's it!  This jelly jar will insulate me from the dirty dregs of Bikini Bottom. If you don't mind, Patrick, we don't have much time."
"Patrick: We're here. Hey, what did I bring jelly for?","Uh, Patrick..."
"Patrick: Oh, yeah. I was gonna put it on this peanut butter taco.","No, no, no, no, no, Patrick! I'm not jelly, I'm not jelly!"
"Patrick: Huh?! SpongeBob, get out of my taco!  What's the matter, SpongeBob?","Patrick, I just wanted to take a decent picture today because someday, I will graduate from Boating School and I don't want to be remembered as the guy covered in peanut butter and taco shells!"
"Mrs. Puff: Oh, there you are! Photographer: Say cheese. Mrs. Puff: And here's the last one. Now, just give a nice smile to the camera, SpongeBob.","Wait, can I go home and change first?"
Photographer: No time. Say cheese.,"Cheese, cheese, cheese, cheese, cheese!"
"Photographer: Quit that moody brooding. This will clean you up.  Don't snivel like that. A winner doesn't snivel. Try putting this on.  This is it. Now you are looking like a winner. Mrs. Puff: SpongeBob, please stop crying so he can take the picture. Photographer: Do not worry, Mrs. Puff. I brought Pearlie.",I can't stop crying!
"Photographer:  This will make you smile, yeah, whether you want to or not.  Say cheese.","Cheese.  There I am.  Hey, I don't look so bad after all!"
"French Narrator: Ah, behold the migration of the majestic clams. To search for warmer climates, and plentiful food. French Narrator: The clams have begun to signal each other. A hospitable location has been found. The grace they exhibit is truly— Zut alors! Dive! Dive!",Wow!
"Patrick:  What are you doing, SpongeBob?",I'm just checking out the beautiful clams. Did you know it's migration season?
"Patrick: Yeah, I know.  I don't know! I lied to you!","Patrick, it's okay!"
Patrick:  Okay.,Do you need to blow your nose?
Patrick: You're a good friend.  So can I see the clams?,"Sure! Here, use these."
Patrick: Thanks! Patrick: Hey!  The binoculars are attacking!,Patrick!
Both: Phew!,Maybe we better just use our eyes.
Patrick: Good idea. Patrick: Ooh! Clams are so pretty!,Just look at all those majestic species! There's the Soft Shell Clam. The Hard Shell Clam. The Giant Clam.
Paco: Come on! Get out of the way!,Even a Razor Clam.
"Bearded Fish: Just clean me up, as usual. Bearded Fish:  I'm beautiful!","Aw, I wish the clams were closer to us so we can get a better look. Wait! I know! They're always hungry when they migrate! Patrick, the patties are for the clams!"
"Patrick: I'm sorry, SpongeBob.",Patrick!
Patrick: What? I'm not perfect.  But I am full. Nap time!,Aw. It's working!  Huh?  Isn't that beautiful?
"Squidward: What is in a Squidward? A Squidward by any other name would—  Uh. Where was I? Ah, yes! A Squidward, dancing fast, moving like grace it—  Oh, that is it! Will you clams clam up?!  Oh, look at what the clams are doing to my beautiful home! SpongeBob, will you stop feeding those clams?","Why, Squidward?"
Squidward: Because they're making a me—  Agh! Stop!,Maybe I have been feeding these clams too much.
Squidward:  I'll never be clean again!,"♪Walking to work ain't too shabby! 'Cause I'll be whipping up a Krabby Patty!♪  Huh? Go on home, you clams! I have to go to work now. Go on. Go home. I don't have any more Krabby Patties for you. You need to find your own food.  Okay then. I'll just—  Oh! Follow the leader! Bye! I'll see you crazy clams later."
"Archie: Hey, that's mine!","What are you doing? You know it's not nice to steal other people's food! Aw, don't worry. I see that we understand each other completely now. No! Bad clam! Sorry, sir!"
Customer: Blagh.,"What am I going to do? I can't leave the clams alone. They'll just have to go to work with me. Come on, you clams!"
Squidward:  No! Not again! I just got clean!,"Remember, no stealing food. Perch here and be good clams while I work."
Mr. Krabs: What the barnacle is going on here? How did all these clams get inside?,I couldn't leave them outside. They were stealing people's Krabby Patties.
"Mr. Krabs: Well, what do you think they're doing in here?","Uh, stealing people's Krabby Patties?"
"Mr. Krabs: And costing me money!  Now get them out of here, boy!  Ow!",Bad clam! Don't spit pearls at nice Mr. Krabs!
Mr. Krabs: Pearls?  Ooh!,"Don't worry, Mr. Krabs. I'll get all these clams out of here right now."
"Mr. Krabs: Not so fast, SpongeBob.  What's your hurry?",Didn't you just tell me to get the clams out of here 'cause they're stealing food from your customers?
"Mr. Krabs: Ow! Forget the customers. If these clams keep spitting pearls at me, I'll be rich! Good clams. Good clams! Tee-hee-hee. Oh.  Bad clams! Stupid clams! Smelly clams!  Ow! Ow! Ooh! Ah! Ow! Ow!","I've gotta get these clams out of here!  Follow me, clams."
Mr. Krabs: Wait! SpongeBob! Come back with those crummy clams!  Whoa!,"I figured if I tired them out, maybe they'll behave better. Let's go, clams. Good boys!"
"Unnamed woman: Are you Steven? Unnamed woman: Oh, thank goodness! I'm so new to this online dating thing. I'm always afraid the guy won't show up! Unnamed woman: Oh! You silver-tongued devil, you!","There you are! No dawdling, now, come on."
Unnamed woman: Call me!,"Hey, there you are. No, no pushing! We share the swing. Like this. Just watch.  Whee!  Whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo!"
Squidward: There you are!,"Oh, hey, Squidward."
"Squidward: Don't, Oh, hey, Squidward me! Not after you lured these monsters into town!  They are a menace to society and we want them out!","I'm sorry the clams messed things up, but you must remember, they're wild animals."
Squidward: Exactly! And wild animals don't belong in a civilized town!,"Oh, maybe you're right. If you really want the clams gone, then I'll lead them out of town."
"Mr. Krabs: In that case, let me just say this from the heart. Give me more pearls, you stupid, smelly clams!  I'm good.","Well, then, I guess this is good-bye."
French Narrator: One Season Later...,"Oh, the life of a clam is the best!  Brr! Getting cold out. Must be fall. I hate to say it, little clams, but it's time for you all to fly home to warmer climates.  Don't be sad. We'll see each other next year. I promise. Now go on.  The circle of life. Whelp, guess I should migrate home, too."
"Squidward: Well, it took me a whole season, but it's finally clean.  The clams! They're back!","Oh, wait, Squidward. It's just me!"
Squidward:  Drool pool! Patrick:  What'd I miss?,"Okay, have fun, you two. It sure is nice to be home."
"Mr. Krabs:  Please be money, please be money.  Oh! That's not money. It's from SpongeBob.  Dear Mr... Krabs, please come to my house tonight. I am having a free money party. Free money party!? This sounds too good to be true! Squidward:  Dear Squidward, come to my house tonight, I am having a...  ...latte sipping contest? This sound too good to be true! Sandy:  Please come by my house tonight. I'm having a science fair! Oh, SpongeBob, this sounds too good to be true! Larry:  I am having a weight lifting competition!? This sounds too good to be true! Mrs. Puff:  A quiet evening studying the rules of the road!?  Oh! Ahem... That sounds too good to be true. Plankton:  A meeting of the minds to discuss the ultimate downfall of the Krusty Krab!? This sounds too good to be true!","Welcome, friends! Please come in! I'm so glad you all could make it! Tonight is going to be a magical evening filled with... magic!"
Mr. Krabs: Eh... SpongeBob?,"Yes, Mr. Krabs?"
Mr. Krabs: Can we skip the magic and get right to the free money? Squidward: How 'bout the latte sipping? Larry: And what about the pumping of the iron? Plankton: And diabolical conspiracies? Sandy: And let's not forget the science fair!,The real reason I called you here was to watch this slideshow of photos from my family vacation!
"Squidward, Sandy, Mr. Krabs, Plankton, Mrs. Puff, Larry, and Pearl: I knew it was too good to be true! Patrick: Ahaha! Ahaha! Sorry I'm late, SpongeBob! I had to find my movie watching hat! Plankton: That does it... I'm gone.  Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!",Wait! Wait! You're going to miss the first slide!
Squidward: Looks more like a slip than a slide. Ha ha! Mr. Krabs: I've seen enough.,"Wait! Come back!  See, it's Patrick!"
Patrick: Hey! It's me! Squidward: Why is it all orange and blurry?,Where?
"Squidward: See, right there on the entire thing!",Oh! That's because Patrick kept spraying the camera with Cheese Fizz! Patrick! You're spraying the camera with Cheese Fizz! The pictures will come out all orange and blurry.
"Patrick: I can't help it, SpongeBob! I'm so excited about going on a family vacation with you and your parents that my aim is off!  See?  There we go...",I know what you mean. Sometimes it feels like I've been waiting my entire life to go on this trip!
Patrick: Really? Why is that?,Probably because I have.
Patrick: Have what?,Been waiting.
Patrick:  Wait... you mean so... What?,Patrick! They're here!
"Harold: Good morning son, are you ready to head out?",You bet!
Margaret: SpongeBob! Don't leave your luggage behind!,"That's not luggage, it's Patrick! He's coming with us, remember?"
"Harold: Well, shake a leg, boys. The Great Barrier Reef isn't gonna visit itself! Margaret: Your father's right, son! Harold:  They know I'm right... Patrick:  You brought homework?","No, Patrick, it's a brochure detailing all the fun we'll have at our final destination!  The Great Barrier Reef! See? there's a huge assortment of slides, and trampolines..."
Patrick:  And forts...,And ropes to swing on...
Patrick:  And forts.,"And a water park!  Oh wait, that's just where you drooled on it.  I can't wait to get there! How about you?"
"Patrick: No, I can't.",Yeah...
"Patrick:  No, I mean I really can't.  I've been in this confined space for too long, somebody help!  Get me out of here! Harold: Alright, boys, alright, turn down the volume back there. Margaret:  I have an idea! Why don't we play a road game to pass the time?",Yeah!
Maragaret: Anybody know any? Patrick:  Oh! Oh! Oh! Hide and seek!,"Hey, why does he get to go first?"
Harold:  And she threw it all away... Patrick:  Okay find me! Harold:  Egad!,Maybe we should just sing the road song.
Patrick: ♪Road. Road. Road. Road.♪,"♪When I'm on the road, I see stuff going by. When I'm on the road.♪"
Patrick: ♪I got a bug in my eye.♪,♪When I'm on the road.♪
Margaret: ♪Looks like clear skies ahead.♪,♪When I'm on the road.♪
Harold: ♪Please stop touching my head.♪ All: ♪Let's all sing the road song.♪,♪I want to sing it all day long.♪
All: ♪Let's all sing the road song. Let's all sing along!♪,Um... anybody know any other good road tunes? How much farther to the nearest service station?
Harold: Probably pretty far son.,"Oh, you're right!"
"Harold: So, uh, how's it lookin'? Service Station Worker:  Well, it's got a cracked timing case cover, you've broken a couple keys off the timing gear, your radiator is damaged at the core, you got a cracked water pump, and a fractured injector line. Margaret:  And what does all that mean? Service Station Worker:  Well little missy, in technical terms... if she don't wanna run, she don't wanna run! Harold: Uh-huh. So what are we looking at time wise? Service Station Worker: Well now that depends... how much time ya got? Patrick:  How much time ya-  Not funny.","Hey at least they have a cozy-looking waiting room!  Come on! Man, am I bored."
Patrick: I am beyond bored. I am... be...yord. Margaret:  Oh boys! Is that a playground I see? Patrick: Not the most colorful playground I've seen.,Mm-mmm. This looks more like a grey-ground.
"Cuts to swings, slide, and see-saw. SpongeBob takes a picture. Margaret: Well I'll just let you two amuse yourselves and come back for you when the boat's fixed.",Actually this place seems a little bit-
Margaret: Have fun! Patrick: Well this is a nasty turn of events.,"You're preaching to the choir, Patrick."
"Patrick:  I knew it was gonna happen, too.",You did? How?
Patrick:  Because it happens every time I keep my cheese fizz in my back pocket!  Darn! It's almost empty!,"Well, I guess we'll have to make the best of it.  This is fun! Hey Patrick, you-"
"Patrick:  Huh?  SpongeBob, were you talking to me?  I could have sworn SpongeBob was calling me from this direction. SpongeBob, where are you?!","Hey, Patrick."
"Patrick: Huh? SpongeBob? Oh come on, where are you hiding? This isn't funny!  Huh.","Patrick, I'm right here."
"Patrick:  Oh, hey SpongeBob! How'd ya get there?","Well, I was on this see-saw-"
Patrick:  Slide!,"Patrick, do you need help?"
"Patrick:  Huh? With the slide stuck to my bottom? Nah, I want it there.  I hate you slide!  Oh, sorry SpongeBob.","Hey look, a swingset!  Can't go wrong with this old-time playground favorite.  Weee. Hey, this is almost like being at The Great Barrier Reef, huh? Try it, Patrick."
Patrick: Okay.  It's not working.,Go back and forth like this.  There you go! Now you're getting into the... swing of things!
"Patrick:  Hey, watch me go!",Patrick?
Patrick:,Patrick! I'm coming! Patrick?
Patrick:  SpongeBob?,Patrick! Are you okay?
"Patrick: No, I'm not okay.",You're not?
"Patrick: No, I'm great! That was awesome! Let's do it again!","Yeah, Patrick, wait for me. Something tells me that is a one-way drain. How long have we been walking here, Patrick?"
"Patrick: Well, that depends on who you ask.",Why?
"Patrick: Well, if you ask someone with a watch, they might be able to tell you.",Are you getting hungry?
Patrick: Yeah! How'd you know?,I could hear your stomach growling. For a second I thought it was some scary monster coming to eat us.
Patrick: That's funny! Couldn't have been my stomach growling though.,It couldn't?
Patrick:  Nope. I had its vocal cords removed before the trip.,"Well, I coud've sworn that I heard-"
"(Monster growling) Patrick: SpongeBob, I heard it! I heard growling!","No, that time it was my stomach. There's got to be something around here to eat.  Patrick, I found some berries we can-  not eat!"
Patrick:  Thanks for the warning.,"Patrick, where did you get  the kelp cake?"
Patrick: From the vending machine!,Oh.
Patrick: Was it your stomach that time too?,Nope. ...Run for your life! It's getting closer!  Oh no! It's a sheer drop-off! What do we do?
Patrick: Don't ask me! I don't remember being eaten alive on this trip's itinerary.,I'm too young to be digested!
"Patrick: Wait, SpongeBob! I know how to get us out of this!",You do?
"Patrick: I saw something like this in a movie once! Now watch closely, and do exactly what I do!","Roger! Okay, now what?"
"Patrick: Uh... I'm not sure, I fell asleep in the second half of the movie! Patrick: Well, I hope that monster's carrying some syrup!","Yeah, cause if he's eating us, he's having pancakes for lunch! Patrick, we did it!"
Patrick: We're not gonna be eaten!,Hooray for not being eaten!
"Patrick: Hooray! SpongeBob & Patrick: We're not gonna be eaten! We're not gonna be eaten! Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob?","Yeah, Patrick?"
Patrick: All this not being eaten is making me hungry.,"Oh, don't worry. When we get to The Great Barrier Reef, we'll eat like kings!"
Patrick: Alright!,"Alright! Now put 'er there, Patrick!"
Patrick: Put 'er there!,"Ooh Patrick, have you been using a different moisturizer? Your hands feel kind of-"
"Patrick: Oh no, it's just the same old moisturizer I always use. Patrick: Oh, come on, SpongeBob, don't leave me hanging here! Patrick: Let me guess, it's time to start screaming again?",Wait a second.  Okay now.
"Patrick: SpongeBob, as much as I'd like to stay and hang around, I'm not sure now's the time.","I know Patrick, but now it seems to be-  Our best possible course of action!"
"Patrick:   Well, I'd probably be really enjoying the view if I still had some blood flowing in my arms. Ow!","Don't worry, Patrick, your patience isn't the only thing that's wearing thin!  Grab it, Patrick!"
"Patrick: Grabbing!  Okay SpongeBob, your turn! SpongeBob!","Oh, I got it! Whew, that was a close one, right Patrick?"
"Patrick: Yeah, but it looks like everything worked out just... fine...","Patrick... Patrick, did you hear that?"
Patrick: It sounded like it came from the other side of this big rock!,"This isn't a big rock, it's a big wall!)"
Patrick: Do you think it belongs to that gift shop right there?,What would a gift shop be doing right in the middle of nowhere?
Patrick: Uh... selling gifts?,"Wow Patrick, look at all this stuff!  You gonna buy something?"
"Patrick: No, I'm not in the market for any souvenirs.","Oh, you could never have to many-  Oh no! I just realized what this place is!"
Patrick: You have?,"Patrick, we have walked straight into a  tourist trap."
Patrick: A trap!,Shhh...
Patrick:  A trap!,"Come on. Let's escape, before we spend all our money on useless trinkets. Patrick, wait, I saw a very nice driftwood sculpture over there that would work great as a mantlepiece."
"Patrick: SpongeBob, no! Patrick: SpongeBob!","Patrick, that tourist shop took me for everything I had! Now we don't have any money, we're still lost, and we're gonna be in big trouble! Oh, this vacation is a disaster!"
Patrick: SpongeBob I- Patrick: I don't think this vacation has been a disaster.,You don't?
"Patrick:  No! Of course not, see?! We did everything we dreamed of doing at The Great Barrier Reef.","Patrick, you're right! We went down a sewage pipe..."
Patrick: Like a slide.,Bounced off a huge anemone...
Patrick: Like a trampoline.,Hid in a nest!
Patrick: Like a fort!,And swung on some vines! Which are a lot like ropes! This vacation has it all!
Patrick:  All except for one thing.,What's that?
Patrick: A way out of here.,My poor parents must be worried sick.
Patrick: I suggest we take a nap here until they come and find us! That way we'll be well-rested on the way home.,I suggest we start walking.
"Patrick: I was afraid he was gonna suggest that. Patrick: SpongeBob, maybe we oughta take a break from the singing for a while.","Good idea, Patrick. I'll just play the road song on this whistle I got from the souvenir shop."
"Harold: Oh hey son, we're ready to go. Patrick: Wow, SpongeBob, you're pretty good with that thing.","Well, thanks, Patrick, glad you think so."
Patrick: Apparently I'm not the only one who does.,"What do you mean? Who else could-  Oh no, not again."
Patrick: The whistle seems to have soothed it.,I think it's offering us a ride!
Patrick: ♪Road. Road. Road. Road. Road. Road.♪,♪When I'm above the road. All I see is sky. When I'm above the road. On a giant fruit fly. When I'm above the road.♪
SpongeBob & Patrick: ♪He used to fill us with dread.♪,♪When I'm above the road. I'm as snug as a baby bug in bed. Let's all sing the above the road song. I wanna sing it all day long. Let's all sing the above the road song.♪  ♪Let's all sing along!♪
Patrick: Duh.,"Thanks again. Patrick, I think that is the friendliest terrifyingly large insect I have ever had the pleasure of being carried off by."
"Patrick: Me too. Margaret: SpongeBob? Oh, there you are! Harold: Okay boys, the boat is as good as new and we've got miles and miles of open road ahead of us. Margaret: Boys? Margaret: Do something, Harold! Harold: He's your son, Margaret. He's your son.","Hey, Sandy!"
"Sandy: Hey, SpongeBob...",Check out our new balloon.
"Patrick: Her name is Squeaky. Sandy: Sorry, guys, I'm working on my new invention. Y'all better come back tomorrow. Both:  New invention?! Sandy: See? Both: Ooh.",What is it?
"Sandy: It's a portal to other worlds. I built it to explore the universe. Also for quick trips to Texas to pick up some of my favorite barbecued nuts.  Yoink! Old coot: Huh? Dagnabbit! That ding-dang, nut-stealing arm is back again! Sandy: Pretty nifty, huh?","Yeah. Nifty. Ooh, what's this do?  Vroom, vroom, vroom!"
"Sandy: Hold it, don't touch anything. I gotta go grab some 1/16 inch diodes to finish the weld.","Patrick, you heard Sandy.  We shouldn't touch this, or this, or this, or this, or this, or this!"
"Patrick: Definitely don't do this, SpongeBob.  Or..or this!",And under no circumstances should you ever touch this.  Boink.
"Both: Whoa. Sandy:  Oh, no! You've activated the vortex!","Ooh, so swirly."
"Patrick: Look at all the colors. Sandy: Whatever you do, don't walk into it! Patrick: Can we skip into it? Sandy: SpongeBob SquarePants, Patrick Star, you stop right now!  Now turn around.  Now walk. Sandy:  Oh.  Those two ain't no smarter than a circus peanut.",Wow!
Patrick: Whoa!,"Oh, oh!"
"Patrick: Goodness.  Mm, mmm.","Wow. We've entered a whole new dimension. Uh, a blank, white, empty one."
Patrick: Must be the boring dimension. Let's go home.,"Maybe there's an exit this way.  Huh, hmm, must've made a wrong turn.  Huh?  Patrick, there's no escape! There's no escape, Patrick!"
Patrick:  I can't take it! Let me out of here! Both: Hmm. Huh?  Ooh!,"Mm... Oh, Patrick, watch this!  Boink. Whoops, sorry!"
"Patrick:  Heh, draw some more!",Nice décor.  Hmm.
"Patrick: Oh, my house!  Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, ah! Hey!","Oops, forgot to draw the ground."
Patrick: Ahh. Patrick's tum-tum: I'm starving.,"No problem.  Two patties coming right up!  Your doodle patty, sir."
Patrick:  Tastes weird.,"Yeah, they are a little dry."
Patrick: I miss real Krabby Patties!,I miss Mr. Krabs.
Patrick: I miss Sandy.,I miss Gary.
Both: I miss Squidward! Patrick: You know who I miss most of all?  SpongeBob!,"But Patrick, I'm right here. Aww, isn't he cute?"
Patrick: How do you do?,"Ooh, I'm next on the hug list."
"Patrick: Oh, oh! He disappeared!  Oh, why was a cursed with the hug of death? Why?!","He's not gone, Patrick. He's right there on your tum-tum."
"Doodle Clones: You doodle! Patrick: Get 'em off! Get 'em off me, SpongeBob!","Hold on, Patrick!"
"Patrick: Oh, thanks, buddy.",You're welcome.  I guess we need to be more careful. Nice DoodleBob. Put the pencil down.
"Patrick: Oh, run! Patrick: What are we gonna do, SpongeBob?","We'll have to fight doodle with doodle.  Hold it right there. You're no match for my doodle squad!  Attack! Patrick, run!"
Patrick: Ooh!,"Patrick, I'm going in.  Cover me."
"Patrick:  I gotcha, buddy!","Huh? Whoa!  What? Hey, where'd DoodleBob go?"
Patrick:  Over here.,"Yipe! You let him go, Doodle! Patrick! Don't worry, Patrick! I'm coming for you!"
Patrick:  Good to know!,"Surrender peacefully, DoodleBob, or face the wrath of... SpongeBob, Knight of the Square Table!  Charge! Ha-ha! Release my friend before I get really tough! I gotcha! I gotcha!"
Both: Oof! Patrick: What are we gonna do?,In here. Phew.
"Patrick:  Nah-nah, you missed us!  Now you gotta kiss us! Patrick: Nah-nah...",Patrick!
Patrick: What?,"Oh, we'll never get back home!"
Patrick: We'll never see our balloon Squeaky again!,"Oh, Squeaky!  Squeaky!  Grab on, buddy! Too slow, DoodleBob!"
"Patrick: Uh, SpongeBob.","Here, Patrick!"
"Patrick:  Oh, ooh, uh... snip!","Well, that's the end of DoodleBob."
Patrick: But we're still stuck here.,"Oh, yeah. Too bad Sandy isn't here. She'd find a way to get us back home.  Wait a minute, Patrick!  Doodle us home, Sandy."
"Doodle Sandy: Bleeble blobble blortex! Both: Yay! Thanks, Sandy! Patrick: Whoo!",Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
"Sandy: Hmm, mm-hmm...  What the—?","Sandy, we're back!"
Sandy: I ain't fixed the vortex yet! How in tarnation did you get back?,Sandy saved us.
Sandy:  What?  Huh? Huh? Old coot: Give me back my nuts!,"You wanted to see me, sir?"
"Mr. Krabs: Pull up a seat, boy.","Mr. Krabs, there aren't any chairs."
"Mr. Krabs: Sit down!  Now you've worked here for quite some time, boy.","Ooh, yes, sir. And they've been the best years of my life, sir."
"Mr. Krabs: That said fact aside, midway through today's lunch rush, we ran out of the secret ingredient  to the secret formuler!",No!
"Mr. Krabs: Listen up, boy, any minute now, a truck driver is going to arrive, and I'm entrusting you to retrieve the secret ingredient! And I need you to do this without any foul-ups! Understand?",Could you repeat that?
Mr. Krabs: It's time!  Now go! And make sure to guard it with your life!,I won't let you down.
Mr. Krabs: Wait!,Yes?
Mr. Krabs: If something happens to that secret ingredient... don't bother coming back to work! S.W.A.T. Team Member 1: You BobPants?,"Uh, SpongeBob."
"S.W.A.T. Team Member 1: Close enough.  Now get out of here, kid! Plenty of folks would love to get a hold of that ingredient.","Yes, sir!  And now, let's get you into the Krabby Patty, secret ingredienty.  Where is it? Where is it? Where is it?! No! What's going to happen to the Krabby Patty secret recipe?  What's this? A hole? How did that happen? An incision. Almost as if someone, or something did this on purpose. That's it! A thief must have cut a hole, and swiped the secret ingredient! But who?"
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob!  What are you doing lollygagging about?! Get back to work!,"Right away, sir."
Mr. Krabs: Hop to it! There's lots of hungry customers out there!,"Mr. Krabs trusted me, and I let him down!"
"Patrick:  Hi, SpongeBob.","Hi, Patrick. Maybe you can help me."
Patrick: With what?,With this.
"Patrick: Here you go, buddy.","Not that kind of help! This used to have the Krabby Patty secret ingredient inside. But now, it's missing!"
Patrick: What?!,"Someone stole it, Patrick! And we need to find out who!"
Patrick: Find out!,You and I are gonna have to do a little detective work!
"Plankton: What are we eating this time, Karen? Karen:  Something new. Plankton: Oh, you mean the secret recipe I came up with?",Aha! I knew it was you!
Plankton: What was me?,"Oh, come on, Plankton, don't play dumb. You know you stole the secret Krabby Patty ingredient!"
Plankton: Is this a joke?,Why don't you tell me. Is it?!
"Plankton: Uh, no. Patrick:  Good one!","All right, no more jokes! Either you tell me where the secret ingredient is, or we'll be forced to use other means of making you talk!"
"Plankton: Sorry, I really have nothing for you.",Then how do you explain this?
"Plankton: Okay, you caught me.",And so the truth floweth forth.
"Plankton: Yes, it is a Krabby Patty.",Mm-hmm.
"Plankton: But, it's my version of a Krabby Patty.  After thousands of failed attempts to steal the recipe, I learned all but one ingredient needed to make Krabby Patties. The most important ingredient, the secret ingredient. Over the years, I've methodically gone through almost every letter in the alphabet. Right now I'm on the R's. And I've gotten up to raw sewage.",Yuck!
"Plankton: Try it, tell me what you think.","Well, he's clean. But if Plankton didn't steal the ingredient, who did?"
Patrick:  Good question.,"Only someone who specializes in science, could reverse engineer the recipe, based on the secret ingredient. Hmm, a scientist.  There she is.  You hang back. I'm going in for a closer look.  Oh, my gosh! It is Sandy!  Enjoying them Krabby Patties lady?"
"Sandy: SpongeBob! How long have you been standing there, buddy?","Oh, long enough, buddy."
Sandy: I was just storing food for the impending winter. Want one?,"I'm onto you, squirrel.  You thought no one could figure it out, but I pieced it together. I know exactly how you got all those patties."
"Sandy: What exactly are you getting at, SpongeBob?","What I am getting at, is that you...  ...cloaked yourself an invisibility potion, snuck through the security perimeter..."
S.W.A.T. Team Member 2: What was that? S.W.A.T. Team Member 1: Here's the secret Krabby Patty ingredient.,"...then used a time-freezing device to freeze time, used a laser beam to cut open the case, stole the Krabby Patty secret ingredient,  reverse engineered it, and made your own patties, so you wouldn't have to pay."
"Sandy: Or, perhaps I walked into the Krusty Krab, purchased them,  and received a receipt for these legally obtained patties!","283 Krabby Patties.  That's right, I cooked this order. I guess this means you didn't use a laser beam, or invisibility."
"Sandy: SpongeBob, next time before you run around accusing people of things, make sure your own house is in order first!","My own house, huh?  Why'd you do it, Gary?!"
Gary:  Meow.,"You've told us that story 100 times now, Gary. Unfortunately, my partner and I don't want to hear stories, we want to hear the truth! Look, we know you stole the secret ingredient and it's obvious how you did it!  First, you hitched a ride on a security chopper, then jumped into the drop zone. Then, when I stopped to pull up my sock, you snuck up behind me, and did what any snail could do. You shot corrosive acid from your tear ducts, which melted the case, allowing you to steal the secret ingredient."
Gary:  Meow.,"Yeah, you're right, Gary, that is impossible. I never would have stopped to pull up my sock during a pickup."
Gary: Meow.,"What's that, Gary?"
Gary: Meow.,"You did see someone leaving the Krusty Krab with a mysterious black case that night? Mr. Snail, could you please describe this... this marauder to the sketch artist?"
Gary: Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow. Patrick: I can't believe it! It was Squidward!,"Open up in there, Tentacles! We know you're in there! We just want to ask you a few...  He's not cooperating."
"Patrick: You know what to do. Squidward: And one, and...",Gotcha! You thought you could hide your crimes.
"Patrick: But we hear-ed what you've done. Squidward: If I cared, I'd ask what this is about.","Well, I'm glad you asked, because this is about you stealing the Krabby Patty secret ingredient!  And we have an eyewitness who saw you leaving the scene of the crime, with a mysterious black case."
Squidward: A case like this?,Yes! Because you can't make Krabby Patties without...  tap dancing shoes?
Squidward: That's right! I was in a tap contest on the night in question. As you can see from my third place medallion.,I guess this means you didn't steal the secret ingredient.
Squidward: Get out of my house!,"Mr. Krabs! I don't know how, sir, but somebody stole the Krabby Patty secret ingredient!"
"Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, you were in charge of guarding that secret ingredient with your life!","I know, Mr. Krabs. It just slipped away from me somehow."
"Mr. Krabs: Well, do you have any leads, or clues?","All I know is that it had to be someone who knew about the delivery, and was at the Krusty Krab during the delivery, and this person would have to know what to do with the secret ingredient when he got it."
"Mr. Krabs: That would be... you, SpongeBob! You stole me secret ingredient!",Me?!
"Mr. Krabs: That's right. And I know exactly how you carried out this little caper.  You obviously set up a decoy to take the delivery. Then when no one was looking, you swooped in, stole the secret ingredient, and spirited it away to the Chum Bucket,  where you sold it to Plankton to make a quick buck.  Don't talk! You can tell it to the cops, 'cause I'm calling them right now! Policeman: No need. We heard it all from this barrel. Mr. Krabs:  Then arrest this thief, Officer!","Mr. Krabs, isn't that the stolen secret ingredient?"
"Mr. Krabs:  Uh, what are you talking about, SpongeBob? I'm not holding any secret ingredient. Policeman: Am I to understand that you stole the item in question? Mr. Krabs: Well, I wouldn't call it stealing... Policeman: And you were going to let someone else take the fall for this little caper? Mr. Krabs: I can explain! Policeman: Please do. Mr. Krabs: It's simple, $1.99 is a lot to pay for the secret ingredient every time I get a delivery, so I s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s... took it to avoid paying, you know. Policeman: I think Judge Trout will be very interested to hear this little story. Mr. Krabs:  What?! What'd I do? Judge: All rise. Eugene Krabs. Mr. Krabs: Your Honor? Judge: As punishment for committing the crime of grand theft, I sentence you to give away Krabby Patties for free, all day tomorrow. Mr. Krabs: Give away me patties for free?!  Oh, no! I couldn't bear the sight of that!","Step right up, and get your free Krabby Patties! Ta-daaa!  I did it! I did it! I did it! I did-"
Gary:  Meow.,I learned a magic trick!
Gary:  Meow?,"Sorry, Gary, but I've been trying to learn this trick since I was a SpongeBoy.  I gotta show Patrick!"
Norton:,"Patrick, come on, I got to show you something!  Patrick? He's not home.  Oh! Squidward!  Squidward! Squidward, Squidward, Squidward? Squidward? Squidward, Squidward, Squidward?"
"Squidward: If he thinks I'm out, he'll go away.",Squidward! I'm so glad you're home. Got a magic trick to show ya!
Squidward: I hate magic.,How could anyone hate magic? It's...  ...magical.
"Squidward:  Okay, show me the trick.","Pick a card- oh.  Watch closely, Squidward. The hand is quicker than the eye."
Squidward:  Can't watch. No eyes. Sorry.,I want to show my trick to somebody.
"Mrs. Puff:  You're the best driving student I've ever had, Rodger. Kudos.",Mrs. Puff! Mrs. Puff! Mrs. Puff!
"Mrs. Puff:  Rodger, we have to move now! Punch it!  I think we lost him.","Mrs. Puff, you got to see my magic trick!  Pick a card, any card!"
"Mrs. Puff: Hold on, SpongeBob, I have a trick to show you first.  Sorry, Rodger, we'll pick this up next week!","Wait, Mrs. Puff, you didn't see my trick!"
"Mrs. Puff:  Okay, show me the trick already.","Pick a card, any card!  Sandy!  Sandy, I gotta show you this.  Pick a card, any card!  Sandy?  Where's your head?"
"Sandy: Oh, sorry, SpongeBob, didn't mean to spook ya. My head's in another dimension, observing.","Uh-huh, okay, I'll come back later when you have a head."
Sandy: It should be back by Thursday. Friday at the latest. Mr. Krabs:  Who is it?,"Pick a card, any card!"
"Mr. Krabs:  Magic, eh, boyo?  Is this by any chance a trick where you produce money coins from behind people's ears?  Wink wink, hmm?",No.
Mr. Krabs: Then what's the point?,"Ah! ] Hi, Fred!  I've got a magic trick that's going to dazzle you!"
"Fred:  Ooh! Are you going to saw my leg in half, or make it disappear, or pull a rabbit out of it?","Uh, no, this isn't going to involve your leg."
"Fred:  Ooh, gotta go, SpongeBob. I'm washing my thighs tonight.  My leg!","Why won't anyone watch my trick?!   Hey, that gives me an idea!  There. Good evening, folks, I am the Great Spongedini! Now watch closely,  the hand is quicker than the eye. Pick a card. Any card."
The Great Spongedini: Huh?,Ta-da!  Oh... I still wish Patrick was here to see it.
"Patrick:  I saw it, SpongeBob!  It was astonishable!","Oh, Patrick! You showed up just in time. What was your favorite part?"
Patrick: Uh... My favorite part was... uh...Ta-da!. I missed everything before that.,"Oh, then you haven't seen seen anything yet!"
"Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob! Spatula down, sailor!","What's going on, Mr. Krabs?"
"Mr. Krabs: According to the nice man from the Labor Authority, it's time for your break, boy-o.",We get breaks?
"Labor authority officer:  Krabs! Mr. Krabs:  Well, of course you do, boy-o. Why, if I don't give you a five-minute break once every 20 years, this lovely man could fine me big bucks.",Nice meeting you.
"Mr. Krabs:  And you don't want me to get fined, do you?",No! Never.
Mr. Krabs: Good! Then you just sit here and don't do or say nothing for five minutes  Oh—and enjoy your break. Mr. Krabs:  SpongeBob! What are you doing?!,"Uh, I just spotted a spot."
"Mr. Krabs: You can't work on your break, boy-o! Period! Remember the fines? Labor authority officer:  I knew it! I've had my eye on you for years, Krabs! Oh, this violation is really gonna cost you!  Hmm... Mr. Krabs:  Oh, I can see we're gonna have to take drastic measures here.","Employee break room? I never knew this was here! Oh, it's beautiful! Like stepping through a portal into the magical realm beyond!"
"Mr. Krabs: Yeah, whatever. Five minutes!","I just hope there's enough time to enjoy everything.  Ooh! Ooh.  Enjoy your carousel, my little hot dog friends. Surf's up!  Wipe out. I think this used to be...creamed corn!"
"Blobby: Sorry, bub. Ha! I was meatloaf before I expired.","Oh, Globby, you're so silly. Voilà! My break room band. Scrubby and the Cleaning Crew. Hmm...  Let's see if I wired everything right.  Perfect.  Yeah!"
"Gale Rechid: Huh?  Ooh, music. I didn't know the Krusty Krab had a lounge.  Ooh! Sandals: Shake a leg!","Oh, come on in, everyone. Try the funk, it's fresh."
"Blobby:  I sure dig that! There we go, yes! Mr. Krabs: Huh? Where'd all me paying customers go?  What— Ow! What the—  A party?! I don't remember charging anyone for a party on me premises!","Oh, yeah!"
"Mr. Krabs:  All right, that's it! Five minutes are up, SpongeBob! Break's over, everyone out! Everyone out! Out, out, out, out, out! Labor authority officer: You're in compliance this time, Krabs.  After-break at my house!","Oh, Mr. Krabs, that was so much fun! I can't wait for my next break in 20 years!"
"Mr. Krabs:  Well, I'm glad you enjoyed it, boy-o, 'cause it's time you got back to making me money.","Yes, sir, Mr. Krabs! Hmm, wonder where Squidward got to. Oh, well."
"Blobby: Hey, bub, have you seen my lid anywhere? Squidward:  Sorry, I'm on my break. Squidward: La da de, la da dum, la da doo. La da dee. Ah, it's a great day for the art world.  Famous art critic Fredrick T. Nitpick will be critiquing my latest masterpiece. I love hearing myself talk.","Oh, hi, Squid...  Whoa!  I love your hat."
Squidward:  Don't touch it! And it's not a hat. It's a beret.,"A beret? Oh, where can I get one?"
"Squidward: Sorry, SpongeBob. Berets are only worn for true artists, like moi. Patrick: You're an artist? Squidward: Yes, I'm an artist! What are you two bubbleheads doing anyway?","We're making arts and crafts. I've been learning the fine art of basket weaving.  I made this one using designs of me and my best friends.  And I also made this cute little scallop house. And I made this wallet,  and I crocheted money to go in it."
"Squidward: So, you've been counterfeiting currency? And what's doorknob number two been up to? Patrick:  I've been making baskets, too.  Darn! This hammer is defective.","Do you want to make crafts, too?"
"Squidward: Crafts?  This isn't summer camp. I am a true artiste. Patrick: Oh, man. I'll never make art like you and...Squidward!","Hey, don't be sad. You can be an artist, too. I'll find something that will tap into your particular artistic skill set.  Now let me see. Oh, this'll be perfect! Now, start with a rock..."
Patrick: Uh.,A little glue...
Patrick: Uh.,Stick on a couple of googly eyes...
"Patrick: Whoa. Slow down, SpongeBob.",And presto: A rock with googly eyes!
Patrick: Whoa. I did not see that coming!,Now you try!
Patrick: I'm scared.,You can do this!
"Patrick: I shall make the attempt!  Privacy, please?","Oh, sorry."
Patrick: I've done it!,"Yeah, let's take a look!"
Patrick:  Behold!,"Oh! Oh! Oh, it's beautiful!"
"Patrick: I'm an artist! SpongeBob and Patrick: Hooray! Squidward: Hate. Frederick Nitpick: Why, hello, Mr. Tentacles! I'm Frederick T. Nitpick, world famous art critic! This is your artwork, I presume? Squidward: Oh, it certainly is! This piece represents my struggle to reveal my genius to a moronic world.  Witness La Visti Squidward! Stunning, isn't it? Frederick Nitpick: My considered opinion is Eww! I'll have to confiscate your artist beret. Squidward: What? No! No, you can't do that! Frederick Nitpick: Sorry, but I'm looking for a real artist! Patrick: I'm an artist! Hooray! Frederick Nitpick:  An artist, eh? Squidward: No, wait, come back! Frederick Nitpick:  Now, which one of you two is the artiste?","We both are. It's lots of fun! Would you like to make something, too?"
"Frederick Nitpick: I'm a critic. I don't make things. I judge things. I’m a judger. For instance, I judge your work.  Lame. Patrick: Don't judge me! Frederick Nitpick:  Holy guacamole frijoles! It's so, so, primitive and naïve! You're a genius! Patrick: Is that good? Frederick Nitpick: I'll give you 500 bucks for it! And this hat! Squidward: Hey! Frederick Nitpick:  You are a master artist, my friend Squidward: You can't give that dunderhead the artist hat! Frederick Nitpick: Who's the critic here?","Wow! Did you hear that, Squidward? Patrick is an artist!"
"Squidward: Oh, , selling one lousy piece doesn't make you an artist!","How many lousy pieces have you sold, Squidward?"
"Squidward: Well, about...Um, um, well, I'll bet he never sells another one of those ridiculous trinkets! Ted: : Hey there, I noticed your hat. Are you an artist? Patrick: Yeah! Ted: Do you have any art? I have a real craving for creativity! Patrick: Um...okay!  Art! Ted: Thanks, man! Here's fifty bucks! Squidward: I'll bet he never sells another! Sally: Hey, Ted! Where'd you get that art? Ted: From that pink genius over there! Sally: I want to buy one! Nat: Me too! Man: I also! Squidward: I'll bet","Squidward, I think we should have a little talk about your gambling problem."
Squidward: I actually want to go to work today!,"Oh! I'm almost late to be early for work! See ya later, Patrick!"
"Patrick: So long my dear, earnest, yet untalented friend!  One for you! And one for you! And one for...  I've run out of rocks to put googly eyes on! I've run out of rocks! Harold: Got anything else? Patrick: Um, the artist needs alone time! Harold: He's so eccentric! Patrick: I'm all out of rocks! What am I going to do now? That was my thing! Oh!  Tartar sauce!  That stinks, too!  The artist needs a lunch break! Squidward: Oh, not you again! May I take your order? Patrick:  Um! Uh! I'm thinking about having a Krabby Patty. Squidward: One Krabby Patty Patrick: But I'm wondering if that might be too predictable! Squidward:  Then, what do you want? Patrick: I don't know! I'm not feeling very inspired at the moment!","Hiya, Patrick! Ordering up a delicious Krabby Patty?"
"Patrick: Maybe, I don't know! I'm in a creative slump!","Oh, Patrick, that's terrible.."
"Squidward: Just order already! Patrick: Okay, I want new ideas to satisfy a public hunger for my goodly goods! Squidward: Off the menu! Choose something off the menu! We don't serve artistic advice here! Patrick: Well, then, why is it on the menu? Squidward: Huh? What? Mr. Krabs: Get back to work, Squidward! Squidward: In case you haven't noticed,  this is not an artist hat! Patrick: Oh, you can borrow mine! Squidward: Beautiful.","Make yourself comfortable, Mister Patrick! Our artistic consultant will be right with you! This is Mr. Tentacles. He'll be handling all your artistic advice needs!"
Squidward: Mm-hmm! Patrick: Mm-hmm. Pleasure!,Here's your Krabby Patty!  Shall I put it on your tab?
"Patrick: Oh, yeah. Keep it open. We might be here all night! Let me just say up front, I'm a fan! I'm excited to learn from a master. My career in self-worth are in your hands! Let us writing on this. Okay... advise! Squidward:  Why don't you just concentrate on your patty? Patrick:  Of course, it's so obvious now! How did I not see it earlier? Squidward's a genius! I know now what I must do! Frederick Nitpick: Brilliant!  I've never seen such an example of raw creativity! This will turn the art world on its head! I hereby declare this the next big thing!","You did it, Patrick! You found your inspiration!"
Patrick:  And I'm going to need some more of those patty thingies!,"You got it, buddy!"
"Mr. Krabs: Huh?  Ooh, money! Money, money, money, money, money, money, money!  What the?  SpongeBob!  Patrick!  What's the meaning of this? Patrick: It's my art. Uh, I buy Krabby Patties for $3 and I..I sell them for $50. Squidward: Ha and ha! Patrick: Why is he so mad, Squidward? I was just following your advice! Mr. Krabs: What?!  It was your idea, huh?",Here's a whole new batch of Krabby Patty canvases.
"Mr. Krabs: Great, SpongeBob! That'll be fifty bucks! Nat:  It's so inexpensive! Mr. Krabs: And here's your patty! One more art patty, Mr. Star! Nat: It's such an honor to meet you! Patrick: I can only imagine! Apprentice! Make another of my masterpieces, good man. Patrick: If you work real hard, you may be an artist too someday! Patrick: Mm, probably not. Needs more glitter. Narrator: Ahh, the Krusty Krab. Through these doors pass all the many kinds of undersea life. Mermaid Man: Through the double doors!  Away! Narrator: And also these guys. Barnacle Boy: I told you I'm not hungry, Mermaid Man! Mermaid Man: N-nonsense, Barnacle Boy, we've got to keep up our strength for the fight against evil! Barnacle Boy: What a dive. Mermaid Man: To the register!  Away! Squidward: Can I help you? Mermaid Man: A double Krabby Patty and Coral Bits for me, and a silly meal for the lad. Barnacle Boy: It's not for the toy, I just... I've gotta fit in the tights, y'know? Squidward: Whatever. Five dollars, please. Mermaid Man: You got it, bucky.  Will this cover it? Squidward: ...No. Barnacle Boy:  Listen, big nose,  that guy has been saving your butt since before you were born. Don't you got a living legend discount or something? Squidward: This is a restaurant, not a lending library.  And who are you calling big nose,  big nose? Barnacle Boy: Well, next time danger threatens, don't expect any help from us. Squidward:  I'm shakin'. Heh. Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy.",MERMAID MAN AND BARNACLE BOY!? MUST. GET. AUTOGRAPH.
"Mermaid Man: If you wanna grow up strong like me,...  you gotta leave room for seconds. Here comes our waiter.",AUUUUUTOOOOOGRAAAAAPH!
"Barnacle Boy: Holy sea cow, it's that Sponge-kid! Mermaid Man: Quick, lad!  To the invisible boatmobile!  Awaaaaay! Barnacle Boy: ...Where'd we park it?!?! Mermaid Man: Uhh...","Can I have your autograph, can I have your autograph, can I... they're gone.  Mermaid Man's belt!"
Mermaid Man: Wait! We'll find it with the invisible boat alarm!  There she is! Barnacle Boy: Owwww!  ...I told you we should have got the automatic.,"HEY, GUYS. WAIT UP.  I'VE GOT SOMETHING FOR YOOOOOU..."
Barnacle Boy: Floor it!,"You forgot your belt! You forgot—  Mermaid Man's secret utility belt. The emblem of submersible justice! For 65 years, this belt has helped prevent the fall of nations!... and pants. I can't believe I'm actually holding it in my hands. Well, I guess I should return it.  Or not.  I could just hang onto it till after work... all alone with Mermaid Man's belt. I wonder what this button does.  Whooooa.  The small ray! Eeeee!!!"
"Squidward: Here's your shake, sir.  Grr.","There you go. Come again, sir."
Squidward: SpongeBob. What's going on in here? Huh?  Why's everything all tiny?,I don't know.
Squidward: What do you got there?,Nothing.
"Squidward: No, really?",Nothing.
"Squidward: You've got something, alright. Let's see it.","No, no!"
Squidward:  Is that Mermaid Man's belt?,Yes.
Squidward: Wow. I can't believe he'd lend it to you.,"Me, uh... either."
"Squidward:  He didn't lend it to you, did he?",Please don't tell!
Squidward:  You stole it!,Please don't tell!
"Squidward: Oh, I'm telling.","Squidward, if Mermaid Man finds out, he'll kick me out of his fan club for sure! Please don't tell!"
Squidward: Uh-oh!  There's the phone.,Don't!
Squidward: I'm walking towards the phone!,No!
Squidward:  I'm getting closer to the phone.,Do-o-o-n't!
"Squidward:  And now, for the moment we've all been waiting for.",I'm begging you!!
Squidward: Hello. I'd like to speak to Mermaid...  What the? What?  Ow! Mermaid Man:   Hello? Hello? Squidward: What did you do to me?!,"I'm sorry, Squidward, but you made me do it!"
"Squidward: SpongeBob, if you don't return me to normal size RIGHT NOW, you are gonna be in really big trouble!","Uh... uh, okay, uh..."
Squidward: I said now!,Uh...  Uh...
Squidward: Do you hear me?!  HOLY FISH PASTE! Get it off me! Get it off me!  Don't you know how to work that thing?!,"Uhh, I can do it!"
Squidward:  Ahh! AHH!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! Stop! I've got an idea. Let's call Mermaid Man and--,"No! I can't let you do that! But there must be someone else who can help! Someone smart and wise, with years of life experience.  Patrick! Patrick! Patrick! Patrick!"
"Patrick:  Ehh? Huh? Oh. Hi, SpongeBob.","Patrick, I was at work, and Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy came, and I got this belt, and look."
Patrick: A Squidward action figure!  Let me play with him!,"No, Patrick!"
Patrick: Fighter pilot!  Dive bomb!,Patrick!
Patrick:  And then comes a giant fist!,"Patrick, no! That's not an action figure! That's the real Squidward! I shrunk him by accident."
Patrick: Oh...  And then comes a giant --,"Wait, you don't understand! This is serious! I don't know how to unshrink him! He could be stuck like this for the rest of his life."
"Patrick: Oh, don't worry about it. He'll find love one day.",You think so?
"Patrick: Well, sure. But it'll be with someone his own size.  Like this pickle! See? They like each other! Squidward: N-n-n-n-no.","Oh, if only I knew how to work this thing!"
Patrick: Let me take a look at it. Hmmm. You know what the problem is?,What?
Patrick: You got it set to  'M' for Mini when it should be set to  'W' for Wumbo.,"Patrick, I don't think Wumbo is a real word."
"Patrick: Come on! You know... I wumbo, You wumbo, He, she, me... wumbo! Wumbo, wumboing, we'll have the wumbo, Wumborama... Wumbology, the study of wumbo? It's first grade, SpongeBob! Squidward:  I wonder if a fall from this height could be enough to kill me.","Patrick, I'm sorry I doubted you."
"Patrick: Well, all right, then. Let her rip!  It worked!",Oh no!
"Patrick: Look, SpongeBob's giant!  Can I be giant next?","Patrick, I'm not giant, you shrunk too!"
Patrick: You're kidding!  Good thing I still got this pickle! Squidward: Hey! Now will you take us to Mermaid Man?!,"No! He can never find out! But I'll think of something. I promise.  Until then, you'll be safe in this jar."
"Patrick: You know what's funny? My pickle started out in a jar, and now it's in one again! Heh. It's like a pun or something! Heheh...","It's only two people no big deal, nobody else saw it."
"Sandy: Howdy, SpongeBob!",Sandy!
Sandy:  What did you... For cryin' out... What did y'all do to me?,"I'm sorry, Sandy! Mermaid Man came in and..."
"Larry: Hey, SpongeBob! Nat: Hey, SpongeBob, I -- Nancy Suzy Fish: Hi, SpongeBob. Mrs. Puff: Hello, SpongeBob. Scooter: Sponge-dude! Fish #1: Hey, SpongeBob! Fish #2: SpongeBob, hi! Fish #3: Hey, SpongeBob! Fish #4: What's up, Sponge?",Whoo! I'm gonna have to get a bigger jar.
"Squidward: SpongeBob, will you just face facts? You've shrunken everybody in Bikini Bottom! You've got to go to Mermaid Man!","Oh, Squidward, he'll be so disappointed."
"Sandy: Well, you can't leave us small forever!",You don't understand!
Mrs. SquarePants:  SpongeBob. You need to admit your mistakes.,Mom?
"Mermaid Man: Your mother's right, son. Mermaid Man will understand. Barnacle Boy: You're Mermaid Man, you old coot! Mermaid Man: Oh, yeah.","Mermaid Man? I'm so sorry, it's just that I'm such a big fan, and your belt, and..."
"Mermaid Man:  Oh, don't worry, son. I understand.  Why, I remember back when I first used the belt, the year was nineteen ought eleventy-twelve, why I believe the president— Everyone: Just tell him how to unshrink us!!!!! Mermaid Man: Oh, yes. The unshrink ray... let's see, uh — uh... did you set it to Wumbo? Everyone: WHAT?!?!  GET SPONGEBOB!! Squidward: Now I have to drive five miles to go to the bathroom... in my own home! Sandy: And I need an elevator to climb one stair! HI-YA! Mermaid Man: We've been shrinking for years! Barnacle Boy: But this is ridiculous! Everyone: Everything's too big!!!!!","I've got it!  Ta-da!  Since I couldn't make you big, I made the city small!  And now, only one more thing to shrink. Cheese!"
"Squidward: I guess this is okay. Larry: Yeah, what's the difference? Nancy: Good idea, SpongeBob. Plankton: Well, it's great to be back!  Huh? Squidward: Ooh... What the...  ...now?","La, la, la...  La-la-la, la, la-la-la..."
Squidward:  Stop!  What could you possibly be trying to do this time?,I'm not trying to do anything. I'm just having a decent morning.
Squidward: By running around and screaming like a banshee?,"Oh, Squidward, a banshee screams like this:  Ahhhhhhh..."
Squidward: There are two kinds of people. There are people that are normal.  And then there's you.,Really?
"Squidward: Yes, really! Maybe you should start acting a little more... normal!!  Doh...",I'm not normal?  Squidward?  How does one become normal?
"Squidward: Well, how about you start by...  Getting away from me, you little creature!","What's wrong with me? I need to understand normal!  How to be Normal. Hm, this videotape should help."
"TV: Are you tired of being called a freak? Do people throw you out of their homes? Well, do they?","Yes, yes, and yes."
"TV: Then join me, as I take you on a Journey into Normality.",Normality.
"TV: The life of a normal person is rather simple.  Here is your typical average Joe on his way to work. See how he is dressed.  Even his hair is boring.  Notice his features, nice and smooth without a crater or freckle to be seen.",Craters and freckles?
"TV: In his office space, Mr. Normal, at least that's what it says on his name tag, works at a steady and monotonous pace, just as all the other normals do. Take note of how they communicate with each other. Other Mr. Normal: Hi, how are you? TV: At the end of the day, Mr. Normal packs his things and goes home to merrily start the cycle again in the morning.",Yeah...
"Customer: I want one Krabby Patty. Squidward: Oh, great. SpongeBob, I need one Krabby Patty.  What, no annoying blurbs today?  Hmm, strangely quiet.  SpongeBob?","Hi, how are ya."
Squidward: What's the meaning of this?,"I took your advice. From now on, I'm normal."
"Squidward: Normal, huh?",Yup.
"Squidward: Oh, really?",Yup.
Squidward: Whatever. I know you're just waiting to say something stupid.,Wonderful weather we're having.
"Squidward: Uh, yes, it is.","Okay, see ya 'round."
"Squidward: Yeah, I'll, uh...I'll see you. Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, what are you doing sitting around? We need Krabby Patties out there.","Yes, sir. I'll do it... normally."
"Mr. Krabs: Eh?  Wow, that's all it takes these days, huh? Can you do more?  Oh, my! It's like printing money! Squidward: I wonder what got into SpongeBob... And what the heck is that?!  Whose house is this?","Hi, how are ya."
"Squidward:  Hi, SpongeBob.","Hi, how are ya."
"Squidward: Good, just heading by to get a drink.",Wonderful weather we're having.
Squidward: It sure is.,"Okay, see ya 'round."
"Squidward: Yeah...  See ya.  Oh, my.  I could get used to this. Montage: TBD. Narrator: Three weeks later... Squidward: There you are, sir.  Oh, yes, it's time again. I've been meaning to say this, but I've come to appreciate your demeanor lately.","You know, it's a funny thing, Squidward. I smoothed out the edges of my personality and the rest just followed suit. Now I am utterly normal."
"Robbie Fish: Ugh! That ain't right. I will never spend money here again. Mr. Krabs: Never? Mevis: Come on, guys, these patties aren't worth the paper they're printed on. Mr. Krabs: Wait, where're you going?  SpongeBob! What are you doing back here? Do you expect the customers to eat this? And now, thanks to you, they're leaving in boat loads.",Maybe this thing is out of ink.
"Mr. Krabs:  No, boy, you're missing the point. You can't make Krabby Patties with ink and paper. You gotta put your heart into it, boy. Now get back to making them patties the right way and stop acting so dull.",What you call dull I call normal.
"Mr. Krabs: Well, till you decide to start making them patties the way only you can, I want you out of my place!","I guess the decision to be normal was more life-changing than I thought.  Hi, how are ya."
Patrick: What happened to you?,"Oh, I got normal."
"Patrick: Whatever that means. Hey, SpongeBob, what do you say we charge into Jellyfish Fields nets ablaze?","Let's do something normal, like window shopping."
"Patrick: Let's do this...  Ya-ha! Hey, your turn.","I think I'll pass. But I do need to defragment my hard drive, would you like to help?"
"Patrick: Hey, listen...when you decide to do something fun, you know where to find me.","Okay, see ya 'round.  Hi, how are ya."
"Squidward: I never thought I'd hear myself say this, but please come in, SpongeBob.","Thank you. Tell me, what are you doing cooped up in here when the weather outside is so normal."
"Squidward: Well, today is dusting day. The day I dust my 483 self-portraits.","Wow, that's something you don't see in the average house."
"Squidward: You know, SpongeBob, it's okay to be a little different.","And you know what else is abnormal? Your nose—it's all bulbous and flappy. Your eyes are a little odd, too. Looks like your whole face could use some work. Yeah, there we go.  See? Looking normal already."
Squidward: What the...?,"One more thing, Squidward. You don't wear pants."
Squidward: And stay out of my home!,"Oh, what happened? I lost my job, then my best friend, and now I'm too normal for Squidward. Maybe I have taken this normal thing too far. No problem, SpongeBob. You made yourself normal. Now all you have to do is reweird yourself. All it'll take is a mental adjustment and some tight clenching. Now focus...  and clench.  Oh, well, if I'm going to get weird, I'm going to need to see a professional."
Patrick:  Look at the tongue.,"That's very nice, Patrick, but I need you to retrain me. I want to be abnormal again."
"Patrick: Huh, I don't think you have what it takes.","Please, Patrick. If anyone can teach me the arcane art of the weird, it's you. Teach me how to be me again."
"Patrick: It won't be easy, but I'll do it.","Oh, thank you, Patrick!"
"Patrick: But first, I'll need a garden hose and a flatbed truck, and I'll need you to remove your trousers.","Patrick, I'm feeling very self-conscious right now."
"Patrick:  Try to concentrate on your first lesson in weird.  See you on the other side, buddy! Susie: Mommy, mommy... what are those things? Shubie: Those are undesirables, honey. We only talk to normal people! Patrick: SpongeBob, the weird therapy is working. Your craters are coming back. We just have to keep pushing the boundaries. We've gotta get stranger.  Talk backwards.",Tap erus uoy era?
Patrick: It's happening. The final transformation.,Huh?
Patrick: What happened?,I don't know. I guess I became permanently normal.
Patrick: No!,I don't wanna be normal!
Patrick: Go away!,Normal is not worth it!
"Patrick: We're in mourning! Squidward:  It's me, Squidward. I'm looking for SpongeBob.  Hi. How are ya? Patrick: SpongeBob, you're back to your square shape.","Wow! I guess Squidward's normal looks scared me back to my original form. Thanks, buddy, you saved my life."
"Squidward: Wonderful weather we're having, hm?","It sure is, buddy. It sure is."
"Tina Fran: Oh, these are delicious. Jennifer Millie: What was that? Nathiel Waters: Think it came from Krabs' office. Maybe he's in trouble.","I'll save you, Mr. Krabs!  Ooh, Mr. Krabs, thank Neptune you're okay.  Eww, what was that noise?"
"Mr. Krabs: Huh?  Uh, I didn't hear nothing. Everything's completely normal. Okay, closing time! Everyone out!  Eh..o-okay...  See you tomorrow.","But, Mr. Krabs, Squidward and I don't want to leave work early. Right, Squidward? Oh, Mr. Krabs, I could still—  A nickel?  And it's the same temperature as Mr. Krabs.  Ooh, he's gonna want this back. Follow that boat!"
"Taxi driver: Sorry about all those speed bumps, kid. And the cactus patch and the demolition derby.","Roast moblem, Orfficer. Mr. Krabs!"
"Mr. Krabs:  SpongeBob, what are you doing here, boy-o?","I brought your nickel, silly.  What is this place? And what are you doing here?"
"Mr. Krabs: Nothing,  I've never been here before in my life. Sal: Eugene, got your usual here: one big steaming plate of chum! Enjoy.","Usual? Chum? Enjoy? Oh, I don't understand, Mr. Krabs."
"Mr. Krabs: Oh, I suppose there's no hiding it, boy-o. It all started back in me old Navy days.  I was a young seaman on a dangerous mission deep in enemy territory. Navy chef:  Meal time. Mr. Krabs:  Somehow, in the madness of battle, I became separated from me crew.  It took hours of fighting and sneaking and scraping to get back to me ship, but by the time I got there, our supplies have been decimated.  All we had left was chum...and I hadn't eaten since noon.  I was starting to feel peckish.  But, oh, that flavor. Sweet and gamy with a cream, chunky mouthfeel.  Oh, I've had a chum monkey on my back ever since.  Been eating the stuff in secret for years now.  Just got a taste for it. One of them survival things, I suppose.  Oh, uh, look, SpongeBob, I don't want this getting out, you understand?  Especially to Plankton. So what do you say, huh? Keep me shame a secret, huh? For old Mr. Krabsy?","You got it, Mr. Krabs. My lips are sealed."
"Mr. Krabs: Glad to hear it. Okay, see you tomorrow.  Sal, I'm feeling hungry tonight. How's about another plate of chum? Sal: Oh, sorry, Eugene, that was my last plate of chum, ever! I'm closing the Slop Pail permanently. Mr. Krabs:  What?! Sal: Yep, I'm moving to Shell City to make it big in the pictures. Just imagine this mug on a movie screen 30 feet wide!  See you in the movies! Mr. Krabs: But where will I get me chum from?","Gosh, Mr. Krabs, I've never tried to make chum before. I don't even know what the ingredients are."
"Mr. Krabs: Ugh, well, uh, it's, uh—it's made from...","Eww.  Um, I don't think I can make that for you, Mr. Krabs, but I can make you some chum-free chum. You won't even be able to tell the difference."
Mr. Krabs: I sure hope you're right. French narrator: Later…,Behold: three takes on chum à la SpongeBob.  The secret ingredient in this one? Krabby Patties. Well? Huh?
Mr. Krabs: It's delicious!  Too delicious!  Next!,"To capture the natural bouquet of the chum, I made this batch entirely from old snail litter."
Mr. Krabs:  A little dry.  Next!,"Ooh, I think you'll like this one.  I know I do.  It's made from wishes and love."
"Mr. Krabs:  It's too sweet. Oh, none of these are right, SpongeBob. I think this old chum chewer needs some time alone. Mr. Krabs: Oh, the Chum Bucket's the only place in town still selling chum, but I can't go crawling to Plankton for help. No, I won't. I got too much pride for that.  Oh, come on, there's gotta be some chum in here somewhere! Karen:  Uh, hello?  Who—who's out there? Plankton:  All right, miscreant, come over here where I can destroy you! Karen and Plankton: Krabs? Plankton: What are you doing here? Mr. Krabs: Nothing, nothing! I, uh,  lost my shoe! See? Found it.  Okay, bye. Plankton:  Hold it. What's going on with you, Krabs? Your clothes are a mess and your stomach's making strange noises. Mr. Krabs:  What are you talking—I'm... Oh, fine!  I'm hooked on chum, okay?! Plankton: Say what?! Mr. Krabs: Look at me now! Digging through garbage for scraps! Plankton:  You actually like chum? Karen: How is that possible? Nobody likes chum! It tastes terrible! Plankton:  Shh! Mute your speaker, Karen. This pathetic display is giving me an idea.  All right, Krabs, old buddy, how would you like a lifetime supply of chum? Mr. Krabs:  Really? Plankton: Sure, for the low, low price of the Krabby Patty secret formula! Mr. Krabs:  No, no, I can't! Not me formula. Plankton: You sure, Krabs?  Just breathe in that noxious smell.  You know you want it. Plankton:  Ah-ah-ah. Not until I have the formula. Mr. Krabs:  Oh, fine! I'll be right back.","Hi, Mr. Krabs."
"Mr. Krabs: What are you doing here, SpongeBob?","Oh, when I can't sleep, I come here to be close to the formula. It comforts me."
"Mr. Krabs: Well, comfort time's over now!  I'm trading the formula to Plankton for a lifetime supply of chum.","I can't let you do that, Mr. Krabs.  You'll thank me for this later.  Okay.  Gotta get a better grip.  Okay, okay."
"Mr. Krabs: Plankton, where are you? I got the formula! I'm here to collect me chum! Plankton:  I'm up here, Krabs! Mr. Krabs:  Whoo-hoo! Just look at all that chum! And it's all for me! Plankton: Oh, I'm so sorry, Krabs. You foiled too many of my plans over the years for me not to double-cross you now.  This time, I have the upper hand!  Get it? Upper hand?  I win and you get nothing! SpongeBob, Mr. Krabs, and Plankton:  No! Plankton:  You and SpongeBrain can see yourselves out, Krabs. Ta-ta!  Alley-oop! Mr. Krabs: Oh, no, this is terrible! Oh, my formula's gone! I'm ruined! And hungry!","Wait, Mr. Krabs! Plankton is tiny. It'll take him forever to swim through that chum.  You can get to the formula before him, but you're gonna have to eat like the wind."
"Mr. Krabs: You're right, boy-o! I can do this!","Whoo!  Go, Mr. Krabs, go! Whoo!  No, don't fill up on bread! The chum! Eat the chum!"
Mr. Krabs:  Right!,"Mr. Krabs, you did it! You saved the secret formula."
"Mr. Krabs: Oh, and I think I killed me taste for chum too. See?  I'll never touch another bite of this stuff as long as I live.","Hey, where'd Plankton go?"
"Karen:  Hold still.  This isn't the first time this has happened.  Hmm, could take him a while to get out.",What should we do while we wait?
"Sal: You'll never get away with this, Dr. Kelpington!","Mm, could you pass the popcorn?"
"Plankton:  Get me out of here! Karen: Shh! Karen: Oh, Planky-bear? Plankton? Karen: Plankton! Plankton: What? What is it, Karen? Can't you see I'm working there?! Karen: Yes, but I wanted you to show you my new screensaver.  What do you think? Plankton:  Great. Karen:  You didn't even look. Plankton: Ehh...  No, I didn't! Can't you see I'm working on my new molecular analyzer?  Now all I need is the smallest molecule of a patty and the formula will be mine! Karen: Just tell me if I should permanently upload the screensaver! Plankton: I said not now–  oww-oww! The Analyzer: Analyzing... 30% mean guy, 20% spiteful monster, 50% evil butt-head. Sample is... 100% big jerk.  I have also analyzed your screensaver, Karen. It is most beautiful! Plankton: No one asked you!  Are you happy now, Karen? Karen: No, I'm not! I was just trying to make myself pretty for you, but do you even care? All you ever do is make stupid schemes about stupid sandwiches! Plankton: Stupid? Your new screensaver is stupid and it makes your processor look fat! Karen:  What?! Plankton: Oop! Okay, let's all calm down before you say something you'll regret! Karen: You know what? No one talks to me like that! Get out! Plankton: I will not get out! This is my restaurant and no one can make me...  leave!  Ow! Karen, baby. Come on, sugar lips, you know I'm sorry for everything I said. Medley Fishbowl: I accept your apology. Plankton: I wasn't taking to you, idiot!  Pain!  Okay, Karen, fun is fun, but it's time to let me back in. Come on, I really need to use the potty! Plankton: Fine, I don't need you or the Chum Bucket! I got plenty of friends around here who would love to take me in! Plankton: So is it cool if I crash here? Mr. Krabs: No! Plankton: Then can I just use your bathroom?","Plankton, I know where this is going. I'd love it if you'd stay with me!"
Plankton: Are you crazy? You're the most annoying sponge in the sea. I wouldn't stay with you if you were the last person in Bikini Bottom.,Suit yourself.
"Plankton: Okay, fine! Plankton: Whew! Much better. Thanks for letting me use your bathroom.","Silly, that's not my bathroom."
"Plankton: Well, in that case, you're gonna need some new shoes.","Oh, boy! Does this mean you're gonna stay with me?"
Plankton:  Yes!,Yeah!  We're gonna be the best roommates ever! Oh! Wanna do each other's hair?
"Plankton: Oh, forget this! French Narrator: Many unbearable hours later... Male Actor: Oh, my love, what a fool I've been. You've always been the only one for me.","Aw, Plankton. I am so sorry that Karen threw you out."
Plankton: Threw me out? I threw her in!,"Hey, this is your safe place. It's okay to talk about your feelings.  Oh, somebody's tense!"
"Plankton: Hey! What? Get off! Get—Oh!  Oh, that's the spot.","Now, tell SpongeBob why you and Karen got into a fight."
"Plankton: I don't know, I was just doing the same things I always do.","Well, if Karen threw you out for doing the same things you always do, maybe you should learn to not do the same things you always do!"
Plankton: But I'm the best.,"Well, sometimes you can get a little...aggressive."
"Plankton: Me, aggressive?! How dare you?!  Maybe you're right. I can be a big jerk sometimes. I command you to help me be a nicer person!  I mean, will you please, please help me be a nicer person so Karen will take me back?","Plankton, in a word: yes!"
"Plankton: What is that dimwit doing here? Patrick: Ahh! Oh, behind me! Oh, get away! Plankton: Will you stop that?! There's no one behind you! You're the dimwit. Patrick: Oh. Thanks!","All right, Plankton, the first step to becoming a nicer person is being thoughtful. Try holding a door for someone. It's simple, and it makes people happy. Like this.  After you."
"Patrick:  I'm happy, SpongeBob!  Can someone get me out of here?  Whew!","All right, Plankton. Now you try!"
"Plankton: Fine, but if he kisses me, I'm gonna lose it.  Ugh. After you. Plankton: Whoa!",Try this one.
Plankton:  After you. Patrick: But I can't fit through there. Plankton: How dare you reject my act of kindness! Yah! Patrick: Ahh!,"Plankton, no!"
Patrick: Can someone get me out of here?,"Okay, Plankton, since you don't seem to be able to do something nice, in this lesson you're going to learn to say something nice."
Plankton: Easy!,Great. So turn to Patrick and say something nice. Say something nice.
"Plankton: Uh... Patrick, you're not a total moron. Just half of one.","No, try again."
Plankton: Fine. Your color pink is not so repugnant. Patrick: Thanks! I like... um... your antennas. Plankton: What? What's wrong with my antennas?!,"Plankton, Patrick was complimenting you."
"Plankton: Yeah, right! You two are mocking me! Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob? Do you think this is working?","No, I think we better try something else."
"Plankton: It's no use, SpongeBob. I'm just too brilliant to be nice! I'll never get Karen back now.","Oh, yes, you will! We obviously can't fix your terrible insides, but maybe, just maybe, we can work on your terrible outsides. Makeover time!"
"Plankton: Brother. Plankton:  Forget it, SpongeBob. Karen's the perfect woman: so smart, so conniving! Ah, she's never gonna take me back.","Oh, yes, she is. You just need to do something big. Be vulnerable, be sweet. Show Karen your heart."
Plankton: That's a great idea! I'll cook up a scheme to make her jealous and crush her spirit!,That wasn't even close to what I said.
Plankton: Sure it was. And I know just how to do it.,"Okay, I feel uncomfortable. Plankton, are you sure about this?"
"Plankton: Of course I'm sure! Now, start doing a robot voice. Remember, you're not SpongeBob anymore; you're Shelby Naughtica.","Oh, I like that!  Boop beep! Beep boop boop!"
"Karen: Welcome to the Chum Bucket!  Oh. It's you. What do you want? Plankton: Yes, hello. I would like your most romantic table for myself and my beautiful date, Shelby Naughtica, the robot.",Beep boop!
"Karen: Hmm.  Mm-hmm. Shelby Naughtica, huh? Oh, what a beautiful name.","Thank you!  Ow!  I mean, thank you. Whoa! Beep boop beep bo boop!"
"Karen: I'll be right back with our lovers' special. Plankton:  This is going so great, SpongeBob! Karen is totally jealous! Karen: Here we go. I whipped up a special batch of chum for you, and for your lovely robot date, a bucket of grease chock-full of nuts and bolts.","Plankton, I don't want to eat this!"
"Plankton: Don't you ruin this for me, SpongeBoob, just eat it! Plankton: Ugh.  Oh, my dear, Shelby Naughtica, you are the most beautiful woman I've ever laid my eye on!","Oh, Plankton-poo, you say the sweetest things!"
"Karen:  Oh, brother. Plankton: I never knew what love was until I met you!",Oh! You have made me the happiest girl robot in the world!
"Karen: Hey, you! Get your hands off my man!","You better step off, lady! No one can make Plankton happy like I can. We are soulmates, and we're going to get married and print 1,347 babies."
"Plankton: 1,000 what??! Karen: Oh, well, you're really in love. I won't stand in your way. Plankton's all yours.",Yeah!
"Plankton: No! The whole point of this scheme was for me to get Karen back, and now you're ruining it!","Sorry, Plankton. You just said nice things to me."
"Karen: Wait a second. You're not just being a jerk? You mean, you cooked this whole stupid scheme up to win me back? Plankton: Of course I did.  I'd do anything for you, baby, even hang out with this moron.","Oh, that is so sweet!"
"Karen: Get over here, you. Plankton: Eww, it's that fat screensaver again. Karen:  What?! Plankton: Now, Karen, take it easy!",I'm gonna go now.
Karen: My motherboard was right about you! She warned me about you! And I should've listened to her!,"I'm driving, Mrs. Puff! This is the one! This is the one! Come, on SpongeBob! Think! Think! Uhh...  Turn that way! Turn that way! D'oh! Turn that way! Right! Left! Oh no! No!  Come on, don't ever do that! Come on!  No! I'm ready! I can do this, Mrs. Puff! I can do it! I can do it!"
"Mrs. Puff: The driving test is over, SpongeBob. Stop the boat!","Wait, I can do this, Mrs. Puff, I can do this!"
"Mrs. Puff: The road, SpongeBob, get back on the road!",Gotta pass the test! Gotta pass!
Vendor: Hey! What've you got against the melons?! Mrs. Puff: Look out!,This must be the night driving part of the test.
"Officer Nancy: We're gonna straighten you out! Officer Malley: This'll fix ya!  Now let's get that one. Officer Nancy: Barnacles, did you see that?! Officer Malley: Yeah! That guy had no front license plate! Let's get him!","Hey, look at all those police! I wonder if the president's in town."
"Mrs. Puff: Look out! Mayor: It is with great pride that I officially open this unfinished bridge! Mrs. Puff: Where did I go wrong?!  With the opening of my new boating school, I pledge that as long as a student is willing to learn, I shall never give up.","Hi, I'm SpongeBob SquarePants."
"Fish: Hurry up with that truckload of fruit punch! The seniors are getting cranky! Mrs. Puff: Alive! I'm alive! Oh, thank Neptune, I'm still... Feminine Tom:  Alright, seniors, let's open these windows so the world can see your nice white clothes. Elderly Fish: Oh, it's finally finished! A memoir of my life, written in red ink.  Aww, barnacles! Mrs. Puff: Ow. SpongeBob, are you okay?","That depends, did I pass?"
"Officer Nancy: Freeze, you're under arrest! Mrs. Puff: Hold it, you can't arrest him! He's just a student driver! Officer Nancy: We're not talking about him. Mrs. Puff: But I don't belong here! It's all a big mistake! Prisoner 1: Yeah, I don't belong here, either! Prisoner 2: Me too! I'm innocent! Prisoner 3:  I belong here! Mrs. Puff: Okay, you can do this, Puff. You can get through this without losing your sanity. Oh, that's a road we don't want to go down again. Positives. Think of the positives. Let's see... I've got no more papers to grade. Yeah!  In fact, no more work. No more boating school classes. No more driving, no more SpongeBob...  No more phone solicitors, no more SpongeBob! No more company potlucks, no more SpongeBob!  No more road rage, no more SpongeBob! No more insurance payments, no more SpongeBob! No more SpongeBob!  No more SpongeBob!  No more SpongeBob!  I think I'm going to like this place.",Class just isn't the same without Mrs. Puff. Just the thought of her alone and afraid in jail makes me think about her being alone and afraid in jail. I don't know how she's going to survive.
"Mrs. Puff:  ♪Smelling the pretty roses, whoo hoo hoo.♪  ♪Haaapiness is just two kinds of ice creeeeam!♪","Oh, that poor woman. And it's all my fault. Maybe if I go talk to Patrick, he can ease my guilt."
"Patrick: Well, it sounds like it's all your fault.","Oh, you're right! Mrs. Puff's in jail and it's all because of me! I'm such a barnacle head!  Poor Mrs. Puff. I know, I gotta get her out! But to get her out of jail, first we gotta get in jail."
Patrick: How are we gonna do that?,"Alright, put the money in the bag!  Put it in!"
"Bank Teller: Umm, you're facing the wrong way, sir.","Alright, give me the money!"
"Bank Teller: Will that be from your savings or your checking account, sir?","Uhh, savings."
Bank Teller: May I please see some identification?,Sure.  Here ya go.
"Bank Teller: Thank you.  Sir, we are showing a balance of zero dollars and zero cents for both of your accounts.",Oh.
Bank Teller: Next!,"Well, that went better than expected."
Patrick: Yeah! I didn't think we'd get Mrs. Puff out of jail this fast!,"Don't worry, Patrick, we'll get into jail this time."
"Fish: Hey, there's a couple. Guard: Put your back in it, girls!","Look, Patrick, there she is!  Mrs. Puff, wait, it's us, SpongeBob and Patrick!"
"Mrs. Puff: That's funny. For a second, I thought that yellow rock talked to me. And its voice sounded a lot like...","SpongeBob. It's me, SpongeBob.  We're gonna bust you out of here. C'mon, Mrs. Puff!"
"Mrs. Puff: It's you. What are you doing here? Why did you follow me in here? Why?! Guard #1: Alright, Mrs. Puff, it seems like this heat's gone to your head. If you're gonna talk to rocks, I guess it's time for you to go on kitchen duty. Mrs. Puff: Yes, it must be the heat. Yes.","Darn it! Okay, Patrick, let's get out of here.  No, wait!  There goes our deposit on these costumes."
"Mrs. Puff: There you are. Woman: Hey there, Puff Mama. What's today's grub? Mrs. Puff: Hi, Donna. It's chili, same as always. Let me get you some.","Mrs. Puff, it's me, SpongeBob!"
Mrs. Puff: When are these horrific hallucinations going to end?,"No, it's really me!  I brought Patrick along too."
Patrick: Hi. Mrs. Puff: Why?,'Cause we're gonna set you free!
"Mrs. Puff: No, I mean, why'd you bring him?","He likes chili. Now quick, get in before someone sees."
"Mrs. Puff: SpongeBob, I am not going with you.","That's a good one, Mrs. Puff. Now hop in. Come on!"
"Patrick: SpongeBob, I think she means it.","Oh, that's crazy, Patrick."
"Mrs. Puff: He's right, SpongeBob. I'm staying.",But why?
"Mrs. Puff: I like it here. These are my people!  And besides, if I'm in here, that means I won't have to deal with yooou...  ...uranium! In the water supply.  See? Crystal clear!  Aahhhh!","Excuse us for just one second, Mrs. Puff.  Patrick, she has lost it! She's completely institutionalized. She's forgotten what it's like to live on the outside. To not be in prison."
"Frankie's wife: Coming to bed, honey? Frankie Billy: Yes, dear.","We've got to remind her that there is a life other than this. Mrs. Puff, if you come with us, I'll stay after school and decorate the whole classroom."
"Mrs. Puff: For the last time, no!  I'm not going with you! That's final!  Oh. Guard #1: Talking to inanimate objects again, huh, Puff? Hmph. Get back to your cell. No more kitchen time for you.","Quick, Mrs. Puff, hop on!"
"Mrs. Puff: Guards! Guards, come quick.  There's a crazed ex-student of mine and his overweight friend here to break me out! Guard #1: That's just raw material used to make coat hangers. You need some rest.","Psst!  Hop in, Mrs. Puff."
"Mrs. Puff: Guards! Guards, come look! Guard #1: Whoa. They don't pay me enough to do this job.","Mrs. Puff, up here."
"Mrs. Puff: Guards, guards! They're back! Guard #1: What's all the hubbub, Puff? Mrs. Puff: They're back! SpongeBob & Patrick: Mrs. Puff, it's us! Mrs. Puff: Guard #1: What the barnacle is going on? Mrs. Puff: Get away from me! Get away! Guard #1: What are you talking about, Puff? Mrs. Puff: You can't fool me! You're SpongeBob and that guy who likes the chili. Guard #1: Let's face it, Puff, you've gone off the deep end.  Get in there, you! You need a nice long stay in solitary confinement! Mrs. Puff: Oh well. Let's look at the positives again. I'm finally away from those two. Yes. All alone in my nice, soft room.","Made of sponge!  I can pass the test, Mrs. Puff! I can pass the test!"
"Officer Malley: Freeze! Your joyride's over, punk. Mrs. Puff: No! What?","No! What are you doing? Help! Help!  No, no, please! I have a snail to feed! I can't go to jail now! This is not a good time! No, please, please! I'm not a criminal!"
"Mrs. Puff: I can't believe it. It was all a dream. I'm not going to jail! Officer Malley: Why would you go to jail? You already did your time. Mrs. Puff: Oh, it's just my imagination again. Donna: So what's for dinner tonight, Puff Mama? Chili? Mrs. Puff: Huh? What? Huh? Ah, forget it.","What are you doing, Mr. Krabs?"
Mr. Krabs: Just making sure the Krabby Patty formula is safe.  Plankton hasn't tried stealing the formula in over a month. He must be planning something big. Squidward:  Hello. Mr. Krabs: One of you will have to volunteer for some extra work. Squidward:  Goodbye. Mr. Krabs: I was just gonna ask if someone can spy on Plankton.,Spy?! Whoo-ooh-ooh!
"Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob, I can see you through this straw.","Patrick, I'm going to be a spy."
"Patrick: You're a spy?!  I wanna be a spy, too! Mr. Krabs:  Shh! Okay, okay! You can be a spy. Just be quiet. SpongeBob & Patrick: Hooray! We're spy buddies!! SpongeBob & Patrick:  Spy buddies. Mr. Krabs: Your instructions are on this Krabby Patty. But remember, the fate of the Krusty Krab rests in your hands, SpongeBob.",In my hands?  Ooh...
"Patrick:  Ooh. Mr. Krabs: Your mission - if you choose to accept it - is to discover what Plankton's up to. Don't let him out of your sight. You'll need to rustle up some spy gadgets. If you don't accept it, you're fired! This patty will self-destruct in 10 seconds.","Get rid of it! Get rid of it, Patrick!"
Patrick: That's gonna leave a mark.,"Hey, Sandy."
"Sandy: Hey, SpongeBob, Patrick. What y'all doing?","Do you know anything about spying, Sandy?"
"Sandy: Well, I know you need a lot of crazy gadgets, like jet-packs, and laser-equipped Bermuda shorts with walkie-talkies... Man on Walkie Talkie: 10-4, good buddy. Sandy: Cameras that fit up your nose, high-powered magnifying glasses.  And my favorite, the knockout ray.","Wow, Sandy, with these gadgets, Patrick and I will be great spies!"
Sandy:  I wouldn't trust you two with any of this stuff!,"What do we do now, Patrick?"
Patrick: What's he doing now?,Nothing yet. Wait! Wait!! He's...  ...buying baby clothes? We gotta get closer.
"Plankton:  Excuse me?!  Do you have anything in a size negative five? Employee:  Sorry, bud, that's as small as they come.","Wow, Plankton has to buy baby clothes?"
Patrick: How embarrassing?,SpongeBob to Krabs. Come in Krabs.
Mr. Krabs: Krabs here. Go ahead.,Plankton just bought some baby clothes.
Mr. Krabs: Baby clothes?  Hmm... What's he doing now?,Hold on.  He's buying...
Mr. Krabs: Yeah? Yeah?,A... stamp.
"Mr. Krabs: A stamp.  This is the most elaborate scheme ever. Keep on him, SpongeBob.","We're right behind him, and he has no idea!"
"Plankton: Grrrr, would you stop making all that racket!? Patrick: What's he doing now?",I can't tell.
"Plankton: Whew! Gosh, it's hot.  Yahhhh!!!","He's getting away! Quick, Patrick, use the jet-pack!"
Patrick: Can do! Plankton: Whew... huh?,"Boy, it was lucky the sidewalk broke our fall. But we've lost Plankton!"
Patrick: To the spy mobile!!,"Hmmm... mines, oil slick, smoke screen, shield..."
Patrick: Self destruct!  There's a call coming through on my Pants-A-Phone. Mr. Krabs: Krabs to Agent SpongeBob. Come in SpongeBob. Patrick: It's for you.,Agent SpongeBob here.
Mr. Krabs: You found out what Plankton's up to?,"I'm afraid we've lost him, Mr. Krabs."
"Mr. Krabs: Well, find him, lad; I'm not paying you to goof off with Patrick!","You're not paying me at all, Mr. Krabs."
"Mr. Krabs: Exactly. So get to work. Recording: If you'd like to make a call, please deposit 25 cents.","Okay, Patrick, we're in position. Now how do we get inside?"
Patrick: I think the front door's open.,"Spies don't use the front door, Patrick. We've got to figure out a complicated way to get inside."
Patrick: This looks like a job for Patrick Star Laser Pants!,"Good work, Patrick! Now it's my turn!  I thought you were holding the rope --"
"Patrick: I am! You need to be quiet. We're on a secret mission! Plankton:  Secret mission, eh?!  Don't you think I know what you're up to? You want to eat at the Chum Bucket without your boss knowing. Karen, we've got a customer!  I'll let you two look over the menu. Patrick:  SpongeBob, I have to go.","Ohhh, can't you go later?"
"Patrick:  My laser pants aren't working right. Plankton:  Could I interest you in a raspberry iced tea? Patrick: Uh, no thanks... Plankton: Or perhaps a bran muffin? Patrick: SpongeBob! I have to go now!! Plankton: Prune Danish?  What the--?!  Destroy my lab, will ya, Krabs? Well, if it's war you want, it's war you'll get! Mr. Krabs: Why's it dark? I think I put off my cataract surgery too long. Squidward: No, Mr. Krabs, it's that time of the month. Mr. Krabs:  Merciful Neptune!  Man your battle stations! Squidward: I'm on it! Mr. Krabs:  Bring it on, Plankton! Plankton: Oh, I will! We'll see if you have any customers left after I pump up the volume! Nat: Oh, brother, I hated the real version of this song. Mr. Krabs: He's driving me customers away! All right, Plankton, you want my customers so badly?  You can have 'em! Plankton:  Do your worst, Krabs! Squidward:  I hate my job.","It's up to you and me, buddy!"
Patrick: Abandon ship!  NOOO! AAHHH! Plankton: Pointy-headed projectile on the port side! Mr. Krabs: Heh-heh-heh! Huh?  NOO!!! Plankton:  I win! I ALWAYS WIN!,"Not to rain on your parade or anything, but you always lose."
"Plankton: No, SpongeBob, I always... Mr. Krabs: ...win!",Mr. Krabs?!
Mr. Krabs:  That's right!  I stole me own formuler!,"But if you're Mr. Krabs, then who's...  Mr. Krabs is a robot!"
"Plankton: No, you idiot.",Plankton?! What the barnacles is going on here!?
"Mr. Krabs: You see, we had a bet. Plankton's been trying for twenty years to steal me formula, and he's never done it. Plankton: I almost had it thirty-seven times, and you know it! Mr. Krabs:  Tell it to the claw, sister. Last time he failed, we made a bet.  You can't beat me, Plankton. I always win! Plankton:  You've got the easy part. I'd like to see you do my job. Mr. Krabs:  Oh, yeah, right. If I was you, I could steal me formula on me first try. Plankton: Ha! The usual wager? Mr. Krabs: You're on.  So, through a series of events far too elaborate to go into right now, we flawlessly assumed each other's lives; and I beat Plankton at his own game...  and destroyed his place of business!  Now pay up. Plankton: Here you go, Eugene.  One a-dollar. Patrick: Not so fast!",Squidward!  Then-then who are you!?
Squidward: I'm not...  wearing a disguise!,"Hmmm, if he's Squidward, then you must be...  Sandy?!"
"Sandy: Whoops, wrong outfit!",You're me! Then I must be...
Patrick: Patrick!,"Nah, I'm just kidding."
Patrick: I really am Patrick!,"Good one, Patrick!  There's just one thing I don't understand..."
"Mr. Krabs: What's that, laddie?",That.
"French Narrator: Here we are again at the Bikini Bottom Boating School. Today is once again the day of SpongeBob's boating school exam. But more importantly, this is the last test for the year,  ...and if SpongeBob does not pass this one, it means another  whole yeAR OF BOATING SCHOOL!!",...whahappened?
"Mrs. Puff: Oh, nothing SpongeBob, you just struck another pedestrian.  Minus 20 more points.",How many does that leave me with?
Mrs. Puff: Negative 224.,How many more minutes left in the test?
Mrs. Puff: The test is over.,"That's enough time, I can make up those points!"
"Mrs. Puff: No, SpongeBob, you didn't hear me!  It's too late, SpongeBob!","OK, Mrs. Puff, what's my final score?"
Mrs. Puff: 6.,Whoo! And how many do I need to pass?
Mrs. Puff: Six.,Whooooooooooooo...
Mrs. Puff: Hundred.,What?
Mrs. Puff: 600. You need 600 to pass. You got 6.,"Don't worry, I'll be all right Mrs. Puff. Besides, this means that I get to be in your class for a whole 'nother year!  Well, see you next Tuesday!  Yeah!  I'm gonna get my driver's license and it's only gonna take one more year, one more year, one more superduper year.  One more super-spectacular, extra-magical, extra-fantastical year!"
"Mrs. Puff:  Oh, Neptune. Another year with him! Barnacles! Dirty barnacles! I've got to do something to save myself. Oh, there's only one way out: a teacher's ace in the hole!  Extra crediiiiit!","What was that, Mrs. Puff?"
"Mrs. Puff: Extra credit, SpongeBob! The extra credit!  I still have a chance! I mean, you still have a chance.",What's extra credit?
Mrs. Puff: It's when you get credit for the things you weren't able to do before.,Oh…..
"Mrs. Puff: Now, are we ready for that extra credit?",Extra credit!
"Mrs. Puff: That's the spirit. So all you have to do to earn your extra credit and pass my class and never have to go anywhere near this school again, is to write a 10-word sentence on what you've learned in boating school.",But I've learned so many things.
"Mrs. Puff: Just pick one, I don't care which. Here, I'll help you get started.  What I learned in boating school is… There! That's already 7 words! Only 3 more!","L… e… a… r…  Oh, barnacles."
Mrs. Puff: What's wrong?,Got to sharpen my pencil.  N… e…
Mrs. Puff: Give me that! Here's a pen.,"A pen! One of the most permanent of all writing utensils.  Gonna write an essay, that's what I say.  There."
"Mrs. Puff: Fantastic, let me see it.","No, wait! I changed my mind!"
"Mrs. Puff: I'm sure whatever you've written is fine, just let me see.",Don't look! It's not ready.
"Mrs. Puff: It's so simple, only 10 words! What I learned in boating school is blankity, blankity,  Blank!",I can do this! I can do this!
Mrs. Puff: What I learned in boating school is…! What I learned in boating school is…!,"I can do this! I can do this!  Is it hot in here, Mrs. Puff? Why is it so hot in here?  My hand is cramping, Mrs. Puff! Make it stop!"
"Mrs. Puff: You only need 3… more… words!  OK, let me see what you've written.",It's not ready yet.
"Mrs. Puff: It's OK, SpongeBob. Show the teacher what you've written.",No!
Mrs. Puff: Give it to me!,No!
"Mrs. Puff: Let me see it!  What I learned in boating school is… Uh…  Well, the rest doesn't matter!  You pass!  You pass!","Mrs. Puff, I don't feel like I really did anything."
Mrs. Puff: That's how extra credit is supposed to feel.,Really?
"Mrs. Puff: Besides, here's your license.","My license!  It tastes just like I dreamt it would. Mrs. Puff, I-"
"Mrs. Puff:  Thank you, SpongeBob. Congratulations, and have a nice life!","Look out, Bikini Bottom! There's a new driver on the road and his name is...SpongeBob SquarePants!  SpongeBob SquarePants! SpongeBob SquarePants!  La La La La!  La La La La!"
"Fish:  Ow! Partygoers: Harris, happy birthday!  My leg! News Reporter: So much destruction...this reporter asks, Why? Local consensus places the blame on this negligent, selfish driving instructor who-  OOF!",La la la la!
Reporter: Let's- not- use that take. Mrs. Puff: That's preposterous. He did the extra credit. There's no need to worry. He doesn't even have a boat to drive.  Now to go home and have the rest of that pasta. The SquarePants': Surprise!,To the greatest teacher ever!
"Mr. SquarePants: Thank you, Mrs Puff. I know I speak for everyone when I say that we consider you a member of the SquarePants family. Mrs. SquarePants: I think you made your point, Dear. Mr. SquarePants: Ahem.  Mrs. Puff, we were starting to think SpongeBob was never going to get his license. But you never gave up on him, you never quit, you never took the easy way out! Mrs. Puff: Well, I...Okay. Mrs. SquarePants: We wanted to make sure Mrs. Puff, the greatest driving teacher in the world, was here to see this... Mrs. Puff: See what? Mr. SquarePants: Ta-da. Mrs. Puff and SpongeBob: A brand new boatmobile?!",For me...?
"Mrs. SquarePants: Don't worry, Mrs. Puff...he'll be driving by tomorrow! Toodle-Loo! Mrs. Puff: What have I done?! Everyone will know I let him slide through school! I'll have to move to new city, start a new boating school with a new name...! No. Not again! I've got to end this before it begins. Mr. SquarePants: You took quite a buster there, son.",What I learned in Boating School today is!
"Mr. SquarePants: We're gonna hafta hold off on the driving there for a while, son. Mrs. SquarePants: That's right, honey. Now, just stay in bed, and no going near the boat!","Hi, Boaty.  Boaty, you're cold!  Take my socks.  Oh Boaty, I'm always going to take care of you. You're the best boat in the deep blue sea!"
Mrs. Puff: I hope I still remember how to do this.  Hehehe yeah…,"Hey, I'm driving!"
SpongeBob and Mrs. Puff: Aaaaahhhhhh!,"Who are you and what are you doing with my boat? And why are you wearing that ski mask, BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT SKIING!  Oh my gosh, I know who you are!"
"Mrs. Puff:  No, you don't! You don't know who I am!",Yes I do! I know that you're...a boat-jacker! I never thought I'd have to use this pepper spray.  Somebody help me!! SOMEBODY HELP ME!!!
"Mrs. Puff: Sorry SpongeBob, but it was for your own good.","Give me back my boat!  You'd better stop this boat!  I'm not letting go. Nothing will stop me! Not even…  Giant clams?!?!  I'm… not… letting… go! Even for…  CHEESE GRATERS!?!  If you think I'll let go for a little…  EDUCATIONAL TELEVISION?!?!?!?! OH, NOOO!!!!"
"Mrs. Puff: Looks like that got rid of him. Now for some tunes. SpongeBob as Radio: And now back to K.R.U.D. with all of your personal you won't get away with stealing my car! hits! Cop 1: Hey, look.","I'd never let you have this boat! Not even if you were…  … Mrs. Puff!?!  So, how's it going, Mrs. Puff?"
"Mrs. Puff: Uh, SpongeBob? I'd like to… apologize. I never should have passed you. You really weren't ready.","So, I guess I got to give my license back, huh?"
Mrs. Puff: I hear Mrs. Flounder is starting a new class Monday morning.,"You kidding? You're the only teacher for this student . And besides, the warden said she'll let you go early, if you do her a favor?"
Mrs. Puff: What's that?,Free driving lessons!
"French Narrator: Ah, a yard sale. You know the old saying: One man's trash is another man's treasure. Mr. Krabs:  Disposable? Phooey. Narrator: For Mr. Krabs, all trash is treasure. Mr. Krabs: Open for business.  See anything you like? Fish #1: Yeah, I'll give you a buck-50 for this umbrella. Mr. Krabs: A buck-50 for that? But it's an antique! It belonged to a queen. Ten bucks. Fish #1: Ten bucks?  It's full of holes! Mr. Krabs: It was the queen of Switzerland. Fish #1: A queen you say? That's-- Wait a second! They don't have a queen! Mr. Krabs: Okay, Mr. Bargain Hunter, five bucks. Fish #1:  Deal! Mr. Krabs:  Ah, the sweet smell of an all-day sucker.","They taste even better.  Hi, Mr. Krabs."
Patrick: Whatcha you doing? Mr. Krabs: I'm having an antique sale. Have a look around.,"Hey, Patrick, look at this thing. Pretty cool, huh?"
"Patrick: That looks like the toilet plunger I threw out yesterday. Mr. Krabs:  That ain't no toilet plunger! This here's an antique! It's, um... uh...  ...a 17th-century soup ladle, see? Patrick: Man, was I using mine wrong. How much? Mr. Krabs: Five bucks. Patrick:  I only got seven. Mr. Krabs:  Deal. Patrick: Patrick Star, you are one smart shopper.",Wow! Look at this neat-o soda drinking hat. Oh! It must've belonged to someone who was number 1. There's only been a handful of number ones in the history of forever.
"Mr. Krabs: That's right, SpongeBob, and you're one of 'em.",Really?
"Mr. Krabs: This hat says, Hey, I'm number 1, and I let gravity do my drinking. This hat was made for you, boy.  You were born to wear this hat.","Ee-hee, ooh...!"
"Mr. Krabs: A perfect fit, eh, son?","Oh, thank you, Mr. Krabs. Thank you for bringing us together!  How can I ever repay you?"
Mr. Krabs: With 10 dollars.,All I have is 5.
"Mr. Krabs: Well, I guess it's no deal.","I'll be right back.  Mr. Krabs, I found 68 cents. But maybe you can take the other $4.32 out of my paycheck! What do you say?"
"Mr. Krabs: Well-- I don't know... uh, okay! But only because you look so dashing in that hat.","Thanks, Mr. Krabs."
"Mr. Krabs: Don't mention it, boys.  What a couple of rubes. Fish #2: Excuse me, sir, but are you the purveyor of this curio stand? Mr. Krabs: Yes, I am. Fish #2: I understand you're selling this rare novelty drink hat. Mr. Krabs: Fresh out. Fish #2: Let me explain.  I'm prepared to give you $500 for that drink hat. Mr. Krabs:  Fi-fi-fi-fi-fi-... Fish #3: Not so fast.  I'll give you $1000 for such a hat. Nat: I'll give you $100,000, in cash, for said hat. Fred:  Sir? I'll give you a million dollars for that hat! Mr. Krabs:  SpongeBob!  There he is with me million dollar hat. I gotta get it back before he finds out how much it's worth.","Ah! My bubble production has increased two-fold, thanks to you, Hatty."
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob!,"Hey, Mr. K. How's the antique biz treating you?"
"Mr. Krabs: Oh, never mind that. Listen, I didn't want to say this in front of Patrick, but that hat makes you look like a girl.",Am I a pretty girl?
"Mr. Krabs: Oh, well, um... you're... you're beautiful.  Uh... heh-heh.  All right, now give me the hat back.","But, Mr. Krabs, you said it yourself... I was born to wear this hat. I don't want to give it back. I can't get rid of this hat now. Not after all that we've been through.  Thanks, Mr. Krabs, I'll call you Hatty. And that's when you showed up."
"Mr. Krabs: Aw, forget it! And you're not beautiful, either.",I'm not?
"Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob! Just the man I wanted to see. Still playing with that dumb old hat, eh?",Yep.
"Mr. Krabs: Not sick of that boring old hat, yet?",Nope.
Mr. Krabs: Not even a little tired of that old piece of junk?,Uh-uh.
Mr. Krabs: Not even a teensy-tiny bit?,Nope.
"Mr. Krabs: Well, then I guess you don't want to see what's in my bag.",What is it?
Mr. Krabs: Novelty hats.  How about this air-condition one?,Seems a little dangerous.
Mr. Krabs: The juicer.,Ooh...
"Mr. Krabs: Foxy Grandpa?  So, what do you say? Your silly hat for all these hats?","No deal, Mr. Krabs. I'm sticking with Hatty. Thanks for the offer, though."
"Mr. Krabs: I thought the Foxy Grandpa would get him for sure. I didn't want to have to do this, but he leaves me no other option.  I'm gonna have to scare it off of him.   Heh-heh-heh! This'll scare 'im.","Oh, my gosh! A floating shopping list!"
"Mr. Krabs:  Now, listen, SpongeBob.",How do you know my name?! Who are you?!
Mr. Krabs: I am the ghost of soda drink hats.  I'm here to tell you that that soda drinking hat you possess is cursed.,Cursed?
Mr. Krabs: Yes. It once belonged to some guy who's dead now.,What guy?
Mr. Krabs: Uh... Smitty something.,Smitty what?
Mr. Krabs: Uh... Smitty Werben... Jaegerman... Jensen.,He must've been number one.
"Mr. Krabs: Number one in Boogeyland! Now, listen, a curse will descend on you unless you return that hat to its owner immediately.",Immediately?
Mr. Krabs: Immediately...,To its owner?
Mr. Krabs: Yes...,Right now?
"Mr. Krabs: Yes, yes! It must be returned to its owner, right now.","Hey, Mr. Krabs."
Mr. Krabs: Ahh! SpongeBob! What are you doing here?,I was just returning the cursed soda-drink hat to its original owner: Smitty Werben Jaegerman Jensen.
Mr. Krabs:  What?! There is no Smitty Werben Jaegerman Jensen!,Sure there is. He's buried out in Floater's Cemetery.
Mr. Krabs: How did? I just... You did... I would... Gimme that shovel.,"It was his hat, Mr. Krabs. He was number 1!"
"Mr. Krabs: Huh?  Ahh!  Hold yourself together, Krabs. It's just a boneyard... filled with bones.  Ah!  What's that? It's Squidward. What's he doing here?  Here lies Squidward's hopes and dreams. What a baby. Where was I? Oh yeah. Gotta find Smitty Whatsajipster.  Nope. Nope. No. No. No. Uh-uh. No. No. Uh-uh. No. Not there.  I've checked every headstone in this cemetery and there's no Smitty Wabbablabba buried here. Think, Krabs. Maybe something SpongeBob said will give you some type of clue.","Remember, licking doorknobs is illegal on other planets."
"Mr. Krabs: No, not that!","You'll never guess what I found in my sock last night! Go ahead, guess!"
"Mr. Krabs:  No, no, no, no, no!","It was his hat, Mr. Krabs. He was number on-"
"Mr. Krabs:  Ah!! Barnacles! I'll never find--  The grave! Am I really going to defile this grave for money? Of course I am!  Jackpot!  Ooh. It's beautiful. Come to papa.  Hey, come on, Smitty, let go!  Rest in pieces, Smitty.  I got the million dollar hat. Smitty: Hey, man, that's my hat. Give it back. Mr. Krabs: What? No way. Just crawl back into your hole, bone boy. Go ahead, play dead. Smitty: I guess I'm gonna have to take it from you. Mr. Krabs: Yeah, right. You and what army? Smitty:  Only the army of the living dead. Mr. Krabs: Oh, no. I've seen this on the late show. You ghoulish fiends hold me down and take turns nibbling on my innards. Then you eat my brain and leave my body for the buzzards. Smitty: That's disgusting! We just want the hat back. Mr. Krabs: No flipping way!  Back off! Back off, I say. Smitty: Attack. Mr. Krabs: Tallyho!  Look at me, I'm Errol Fin!  You're falling apart, marrow brain. You must be kidding.  Back to oblivion.  Oh, ho. How's your sister? All right, boneheads, playtime's over. Yee-hoo, ha-ha!  Wa-ha! A million dollars. I've got a million dollars!  Oh, there you are. Well, I got it. The rare novelty soda drinking hat. Let's start the bidding at one million dollars. Fred: Yeah, you want that all at once? Fish #3: One million dollars. You gotta be kidding! Nat: Hey! The poor sap's not kidding. Didn't you hear? They found a whole warehouse full of them. They're worthless.",Let's give Mr. Krabs a big hand.
"Nat: Now that's worth a million dollars.  Hey, kid, wait up! Fish #2: I saw him first! Fish #3: I'll give you one billion dollars! Mr. Krabs: Well, that's a spirit breaker. Squidward:  What a baby. Patrick: SpongeBob!  SpongeBob!  SpongeBob! You forgot to tell me you're leaving!","Well, Patrick, I guess...  I did."
"Patrick: I'm going to miss you, buddy!","Me too, Patrick, me too!  Oh, Patrick, if I had only known how hard not saying goodbye could be..."
"Patrick: Well, see you later, bud.","Patrick, that's it! You can come with me to summer camp! Then I'd never have to say goodbye!"
Patrick: Summer camp? But I'm not even ready yet!,How about now?
Patrick: Yep!,"...this stuff is just my carry-on, quarter.  The rest of my things are right over there."
Patrick: Weee! Haha!,"Oh, and quarter, thanks!  Boy, that looked like a boring boat to be on, huh, guys?  Guys?"
"Warden: Welcome to Inferno Island!   What in the seven seas just insulted my ear drum!? Could that had been an unrequested sound-off? Well, it must had been my imagination! And you can all thank your lucky stars that  I have a very active imagination! Because it so happens that it is my sworn duty to think of fun things to do with the trash that society has thrown away!",I had always preferred to recycle.
"Warden: Holy fishpaste! We got ourselves a couple of rabble rousers. What's your name, son?",SpongeBob SquarePants!
Warden: And are you a rabble rouser?,Funny you should ask... once I had...
"Warden: Well, I hope you aren't, because you sure look mighty tasty. It isn't too soon after breakfast for me to want to chew somebody's head off! Patrick:  Actually, I am a little hungry. Warden: Hungry?! Barney, fetch these two poor hungry souls a snack. On the double! Prisoner #1: Ohh. These guys are tough! Patrick: The food coma is setting in.",Yeah. I could use a nap.
"Warden: Did you just say nap?! Well, I know the perfect place for you two to go digest that meal.  A couple days in the hole never hurt anybody.",This camp is very upscale!
"Patrick: I had no idea that they had a hot tub! Narrator: Three days later... Warden: Alright! Let them out!  Now pay attention, worms. Watch the way they crawl out on their bellies, begging for mercy, and see what's waiting for you, next time you fell up to same way these two did!","It was quite an enjoyable soap, but it wasn't until this guy got thirsty and decided to drink the bath water!"
"Patrick: Not bad! Except for this aftertaste. Warden: Cut your traps, all of you, because of that little outburst, I am going to treat you all to an activity so heart-wrenchingly boring, it physically exhausting, that it is guaranteed to render your souls broken beyond repair! SpongeBob & Patrick: Yay!","This is a pretty fun camp game, huh Patrick?"
Patrick: Yeah!,It's made it even more fun and challenging by the fact that we're wearing these heavy ankle weights.
"'Warden:  Good night, ladies! Patrick: What's wrong, SpongeBob?",The other campers just aren't having as much fun as you and me.
"Patrick: If only we could think of some sort group activity that we can all do together, then we would all be having the same amount of fun as each other.  Good night!",That's it! We'll show him we can be self-starters!
"Warden: Rise and shine!  Now, which one of you vile, low-down, vile miserable wretched swine left this pathetic, worthless, horror and meaningless...",Uh... abomination?
Warden: Who said that?,"Me, sir!"
Warden: What is the meaning of this thing?,"It's a play, for our amusement, and inspiration!"
"Warden: Good. Well then, I'll watch your play, and I will enjoy every act of your pathetic, meaningless, ridiculous, production. You know why? Guard: Uhh...because you cherish the fine art of thespianism? Warden: No! Because this will be the last act you will ever perform in your pathetic lives! So, get to it! And I'd better be truly entertained!",Cool!
Prisoner #2: Kid's wasting his time.,All done!
"Prisoner #2: You thinking what I'm thinking? Prisoner #3: Hmmmmm... Prisoner #2: It's a boat, you simpleton! What do boats do? Prisoner #3: Umm... make smoke? Prisoner #2: No!  You knucklehead! They float, away from this island, with all of us on board!  Now, here's the plan:  Hey, buddy! Need some help?",Really?
Prisoner #2: Sure... Narrator: Opening Night.,"Aye, for Jib's men, what forces blow the merry winds of Galilee?"
"Prisoner #4: Get ready! Prisoner #5: Umm... Oh! Prisoner #4: ♪'Tis we...♪ Prisoners: ♪...here to sing the song of merry time for all of day. Together!♪  ♪Together!♪ SpongeBob & Prisoners: ♪Together!♪  ♪Together!♪ Prisoners: ♪Together!♪ SpongeBob, Patrick & Prisoners: ♪Together! Together! To-geth-er.♪ Prisoner #2: ♪Like a boat, upon the sea!♪ Prisoners: ♪Together! In happy camaraderie! Together! That's the way, it's ought to be! Together! Just you, and you, and you--♪",♪--and you--♪
"SpongeBob, Patrick & Prisoners: ♪--and me! Together! Togeeeetttthhhher! Together!♪ Warden: I-I-I had never seen anything so beautiful... Prisoner #2: Okay, let's do it!","Uh... Hey, guys! What are you doing?"
"Prisoner #2: We're breaking out of here, yeah, that's what! Escaping! Oh, uh, thanks for the convincing stage craft! Warden: Encore! Encore! Encore! Do it again!  What the?! Prisoner #2: Turn the ship around! Prisoners:  Help! Somebody save our lives! We can't swim! Warden: I'm stuffed. I can't even begin to imagine a punishment appropriate for what has happened here tonight! Words cannot attempt to describe the disgusting, vile, th-th-the complete disregard for the story tradition of musical theater. So, starting this very moment, every one of you brontosauruses will be sentenced to... Camp Counselor: Ahoy!  Hello? Yoo-who? Warden: What in the name of...  For Neptune's sake, man, speak the King's English! Camp Counselor: I'm... I'm Camp Counselor Kraus from Sun Fun Island! Warden: Your who-what? Camp Counselor: Well, I was doing roll call and discovered one of my Sun-funners was missing! I came to take him back with me. A... SpongeBob, eh, SquarePants? Warden: Enough! So tell me, Counselor, just what do they do on your Sunny Funny Island? Camp Counselor: Well, we, uh, make macaroni art... Warden: Egad. Camp Counselor: And we sing campfire songs! Warden: Ahck! Camp Counselor: Oh, and we help and support each other. Warden: STOP! These heinous activities sound like torture too severe for even the lowest, filthiest, undeserving...  Wait a minute! I have a brilliant idea! Camp Counselor:  Oh, that is very good, Bruiser! SpongeBob and Patrick: Patrick? / SpongeBob?",You first.
Patrick: I... I like the other island better!,"Me too! Hey, Squidward. Hey, Squidward. Hey, Squidward. Hey, Squidward. Hey, Squidward."
"Squidward: All right, I'll bite. What is it, SpongeBob?",Do you know what today is?
Squidward: Annoy Squidward Day?,"No, silly!  That's on the 15th!  Today is the beginning of the judging for Employee of the Month."
"Squidward: SpongeBob, don't you know that award's a scam?",What do you mean?
"Squidward: Mr. Krabs gives you that award, so you'll work harder for no extra money.","That is not true, Squidward. He gives it to me because I work harder. You could win it too if you tried harder."
"Squidward: Oh, for what? To get my face on the Wall of Shame?","Squidward, you've got it all wrong. Having pride in your work is nothing to be ashamed of, why it's the only thing that makes it all worthwhile."
"Mr. Krabs: Thattaboy, SpongeBob! This is going to be a tough one though! There's no clear cut winner!  Watch out, SpongeBob. Squidward appears to be on the verge of a breakout.  There might be a new face on the wall this month.",Huh?
"Squidward: That's right, SpongeBob. I might sneak up on you.",Nooo!  How could I have let the quality of my work slip so much?!
Squidward:  Need some help?  What are you doing?,Making...Krabby Patties?
Squidward: You're losing it! Don't you know that award is a load of--  ...garbage.,Please don't tell Mr. Krabs about this! It'll hurt my chances of winning the award!
"Squidward: I already told you, that award is a bunch of...  ...baloney!","That is not true, Squidward. Like this hat, that award is a symbol of..."
Squidward:  It's a symbol that you're a chump!,"No, Squidward!"
Squidward: And this is a symbol of what I think of the 'Employee of the Month' award!  Ow!,An experienced employee of the month always keeps a brick of lead in his hat.
"Squidward: I'm telling you for the last time, that award is nothing but a joke!",What if Squidward's right? What if the award is a phony? Does this mean my whole body of work is meaningless?!
"SpongeBob Picture: Stow that kind of talk, sailor! This is war now, private! That's exactly what he wants you to think! This is no time to go lily-livered on us!","But, sir…"
"SpongeBob Picture: There's no room for buts in war, soldier! He wants you to crack! He's trying to trick you, get inside your mind! You will stop at nothing--and I mean nothing--to defeat him! Have I made myself clear, private?","Crystal, sir!"
SpongeBob Picture: Good! Now move out!,I won't let Squidward win!  He can't go to work if he doesn't wake up. Target sited.
Squidward: SpongeBob! What are you doing here?!,You can't win that award if you don't get up for work!
"Squidward: Stop it, SpongeBob! If I really wanted that award, I could win it with my tentacles tied!",That can be arranged.
"Squidward: You're a lunatic, SpongeBob!","Maybe so, but I did win 'Employee of the Month' 26 months in a row."
Squidward: Are y-Are you trying to say that you are better than me?!,I've been better than you 26 months--and it'll be 27 tomorrow.
"Squidward: Oh, that's it, square-for-brains! That's it! I'm gonna show you how easy it is to win that award. I'm gonna be the new 'Employee of the Month'! I will prove to you that I am far more competent than you!","Well, I'm going in early to wax the floors!"
Squidward: Don't bother; I'll have done it already by the time you get there!,"Well, you'll have to get up pretty early to get there before me!"
Squidward: I don't need to sleep! Loser!,"Well, me neither! …26-time loser!  Look at him. Watchin' me."
"Squidward: I'm watching you, SpongeBob. You're not leaving before me.","Hey, Squidward, getting sleepy, huh?"
"Squidward: No, how about you?",Nope!  Nighty Night.
Squidward: SpongeBob!,"Hey, Squidward! Going somewhere?"
Squidward: I'm going to wring you dry when I get outta here! Now get me outta here!,"All right, Squidward. I'll stop by after work!"
Squidward: SpongeBob! SpongeBob!,Now to get some rest. Don't wanna look tired for my 'Employee of the Month' photo!  Squidward!
"Squidward: That oughta hold him! Squidward:  SpongeBob! Why, you little…!","Ha ha ha ha ha. Hmmm, a Krabby Patty!  Ow! Squidward!"
"Squidward: So long, Sponge loser!  SpongeBob? Truce?",Truce.
"Squidward: SpongeBob, I can't take it anymore. If we keep this up, neither of us will win the award!",You're right. We should save our energy for work where we really need it.
"Squidward: Okay, let's have a good clean fight.","And may the better man win.  He's nothing but a lying, boneless, ink-squirting, big-nosed phony!"
"Squidward:  Look at that buck-toothed, corn-fed smile. You can't trust him as far as you can throw him.",As soon as he stops shaking my hand...
"Squidward:  ...I'm gonna make a run for it. Mr. Krabs: Money, money, gonna make some money!  Ah, it warms me wallet to see me employees coming in so early. Boys, you're early!  Wait!","Look, Mr. Krabs! Clean floors!"
"Squidward: Clean tables, Mr. Krabs!","Clean dishes, Mr. Krabs!"
Mr. Krabs: What's going on here?!,"It's much more efficient to clean dishes this way, Mr. Krabs!"
"Mr. Krabs: No! Squidward: Flowers and chocolate for you, Mr. Krabs!","Look, I'm putting my own money in the register, Mr. Krabs!  Two spatulas to increase productivity, Mr. Krabs! Faster, SpongeBob, faster!"
"Squidward: There's nothing to this patty flipping, Mr. Krabs! I'll easily double your output, SpongeHog! Mr. Krabs: Boys, boys, boys!  Help! Help! Frank: Hey, free Krabby Patties! Mr. Krabs:  Wait, you've got to pay for those! Wait! Wait! Wait! Boys, the Krabby Patties!","So, who's the winner of Employee of the Month?"
"Squidward: Me, me! It's me! Mr. Krabs: Boys! Wait! Boys, the Krabby Patties! Boys, wait! Plankton: I'm ready, I'm ready! Ready to steal the Krabby Patty secret formula! Prepare to initiate plan number... hmmm... number. What's the number? Oh well. Who cares? Karen: Good question. Plankton: Say what? Karen: I said good luck! Plankton: That formula will be mine! Plankton:  Out of my way, pinheads! Move it, move it, move it!  Hey there, snazola! I'm about to show you the advantage of not having a nose. Say hello to... Mr. Stinky! Plankton: That's right, everyone. Gather in real close.  Time to trigger the stench!  Yoink!","Huh?  No, no, no, no, no, no! Not the patties! I'll save you!"
Mr. Krabs: What's all the racket out here?,"Mr. Krabs, are you alright? What happened?"
"Mr. Krabs: I don't know. Me eyes were burning! All I saw was a little eyeball and a pair of antenna and...  Plankton!  He's still in there! Alone! With me secret formula! He could be doing anything with it!  He could be reading it! Mr. Krabs: Give me your hand, boy-oh!  I need to borrow this.  Ok, I'm going in!","Good luck, Mr. Krabs!"
"Mr. Krabs: Why you little... Plankton: I hope you like percussion, Eugene. Because these drumsticks really go bongo! Plankton: What? The old safe in the safe routine? Mr. Krabs: Here's another routine! You're the meat in me knuckle sandwich! Plankton: I'm not hungry! Mr. Krabs: Eww.  SpongeBob!","Yes, sir. I see the problem."
"Mr. Krabs: Whew! That was too close my lad. Three more safes and he would've had me secret formula. Mr. Krabs: Looks like I'm going to have to beef up security around here. Mr. Krabs: I'm going to need you to do me a big favor, laddie. Mr. Krabs:  Take this home with ya and hide it while I reevaluate my security situation.","But, Mr. Krabs, how do you know it will be safe from Plankton at my house?"
"Mr. Krabs: Pisha! He'll think it's still here! His tiny brain is incapable of the kind of abstract thinking that is required for reflection. Or thoughtful reasoning and deduction. He cannot ruminate. Mr. Krabs:  He cannot define the hypothesis. He's a tired clown. He'll never know it's in your house! Plankton:  Oh, you're right, Professor Krabface! I'm much too simple-minded to look there! Plankton: Hey, there. Plankton: Pleasant night, eh SpongeBob?","Oh, uh, yes. It's a very nighty-night for a walkie."
"Plankton: Ain't that the truth? Hey, nothing gets past you. One could say you have the formula for honesty.","Uh, yeah. One could say that I guess. Uh, anyway. I gotta go wash my formula.  Hair! Hair! I got to go wash my hair! Uh, good night, Plankton."
Plankton: Yeah. Gotta keep that hair clean and in a safe place.,"Okay, bye!"
French Narrator: The next morning...,"Now remember, Gary. I'm entrusting you with the secret formula."
Gary: Meow.,"Stay sharp, Gary. Don't let anyone inside."
Gary: Meow.,"Bye, Gary!"
"Gary: Meow. Plankton: Why, hey there, little fella!  Is SpongeBob...  I mean your master at home?  Eh, perhaps I could just come inside for a minute and demonstrate our fine snail products. Plankton: Shell polish, slime deodorant, chew toys... Gary: Meow! Plankton: My leg! Plankton: Your friends won't tell you this, but you can really use the slime deodorant, smelly! French Narrator: Moments later... Gary: Meow? Plankton: Hello, sir...  Hello, sir! I'm selling Sweetie Patrol cookies! We have a lovely assortment of fungi and algae flavors. Plankton: How many delicious boxes can I put you down for? If you order ten boxes, I'll qualify for my bottom-dweller badge. If you order a hundred boxes, I'll get my bling-bling badge. You know, you should hide these from your roommate. She'll eat all of them.  If you show me your best hiding place, I'd be happy to help. Gary: Meow, meow! Plankton:  Note to self: Nitroglycerin is not a substitute for vanilla extract. French Narrator: More moments later... Gary: Meow? Plankton: I forgot how much I hate pineapple. Plankton:  Hey, this snail litter tastes better than pineapple.  Now, where is that secret formula? Plankton: Where is it? Where is it? Gotta be here somewhere. Plankton: Nothing in there.  Ooh, look at that. Plankton: Hello! Plankton: Where the barnacles is it? Plankton: Where is it? Where is it? I know you're in here! You're not fooling anybody! I went to college! Plankton: Nope, nope, nope. Plankton: Alright, Snail! Let's go! Just you and me! Gary: Meow! Plankton: Put 'em up! Put 'em up! Plankton: Of course! What a fool I've been! Plankton: SpongeBob's hidden the secret formula inside Gary's shell! Sheesh! This place is disgusting! I bet it reeks. Good thing I don't have a nose. Huh?  Aye yae yae!","Gary, I'm home! What happened here?  My first Krabby Patty! I had it bronzed! Oh, and I was gonna give that to my grandchildren!  My Mermaid Man collectible underpants! Oh, I could've worn them a thousand more times!  My glass of water!  I was gonna drink that! Oh, the Krabby Patty formula! Whew! It's safe and right where I left it. Gary, did you do this?"
Gary:,"What's the matter, Gary? Something wrong with your shell?"
"Gary: Meow, meow!","Something's not right, Gary. I'd better get you to the vet."
"Gary: Meow. Plankton: Ha! I lost him! Now, I'm lost! Plankton: Ah, my head. Oh, I must be in the center of the shell.  What's that?  This is it! Just like I thought! It was hidden here all the time! The secret Krabby Patty formula! It's beautiful! Plankton: The heavenly light! I always knew I'd see it once I've gotten the formula! Let me bask in its glory! Doctor: Well, that's odd. Who's that?","Hey, it's Plankton."
Doctor: What's he got there?,Looks like one of my old grocery lists.
"Doctor: I don't know how he got in there, but the gases inside this shell are making the little guy hallucinate. He would've smelled the gases if he had a nose like most good-hearted people. Plankton: Ha, ha! I got it! I got it! Plankton: I've finally got the formula! It's mine, it's mine, it's mine, it's mine! Open the sparkling apple juice, Karen! Daddy's bringing the bacon home! Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Whoo!","Hello? Hello!  Huh? The line’s been cut.  Barnacles!  I guess I’d go better take a look.   Who's there? Stay back, I'm armed!  Whoa! Whoa!  Ha, hey!  Aha, wind-up novelty teeth! How did you wind up down here? Dahaha!  What the heck is going on with my fancy boot?  Hey, knock it off!  Alright, I warned you!  You're a dirty fighter... I got you now! Hiya!  Gary?  Noooooooooo!  Gary!  Hooa!  Phew! Thank goodness. For a minute, I thought you were hurt.   Gary, I've - I've broke your shell."
Gary: Meoooow!,"Oh no, you're in pain! Don't worry, I'll make it better.  Sorry about that. Oh, I know,  here, just use a little tape and there ya go, good as new!  Oh. Well, that's alright, because we'll find a new shell for ya.  SpongeBob"
Gary: Meow.,"Yeah, you're right, too gaudy.  No, too last season.  Well, I need that. Ahahaha, look, Gary!  Here, try this on for size."
Gary: Meow...,"Of course it's a shell.  Aw, come on, don't look at me like that."
Gary: Meow.,"Okay, you're right, it's not a shell.  Oh!  Greetings, earthling, I am SpongeBob. I come from the future. Dahahaha.  I bet this'll look great. . Ew. I can see why snail shells aren't clear.  Hmmm."
Gary: Meow.,"Here it is, Gary, your new shell!  Oh, you look ready to ride.  Shell Spiffy. Great idea, Gare, I'll order you a new shell. Are there any you have your mind on, ol' buddy?"
Gary: Meow.,"Oh, page 72. Here it is - wow! . This stylish fully insulated, dual coat ceramic shell comes with automatic rest-room facilities standard, and for the affordable price of just... 9595.95!? Isn't there a place I can get a quality shell without spending a fortune?"
Gary: Meow.,Commercial? What commercial?
"Commercial Voice: Uh-oh, now look what you've done. You've broke your snail's shell again. Actor: Yeah. Now what do I do? Angry Jack: You come on down to Angry Jack's Shell Emporium! Commercial Voice:  Angry Jack's! Angry Jack: I'm so angry about my massive inventory that I'm slashing prices like crazy. Commercial Voice: Jack's angry! Angry Jack: 99.99, buy this refurbished shell and I'm angry about it!  Or what about this one? Brand new plastic shell, super gloss coat, only 39.99.  Hey! Get those numbers outta my face! DID I MENTION I'M ANGRY?!?! Commercial Voice: He's seething with rage! Angry Jack: The wife's gone for good, so I'm gonna sell sell sell all these shell shell shells! So come on down to Angry Jack's now! Commercial Voice: Jack is real mad! Don't bring your kids. Angry Jack: And remember, I'll match or beat anyone's advertised rage or is absolutely –  Hey, what are you doing in my commercial?","Oh, sorry, Angry Jack. Gary here needs a new shell, and we knew you would help us find one. Hey, shouldn't you be yelling at me right now?"
"Angry Jack: Nah, I just do that to make my commercials louder. And louder is the same as better! Now, let's see if I can't get you into a new shell. Hmmm.  There she is!  There you are, little guy. Gary:  Meow.","Oh, it's perfect! Just like the old one hey, buddy?  Now, it... really looks like the old one, eh, buddy?"
"Gary:  Meow. Angry Jack: Hey, accidents will happen. Why don't we try this one?","Oooohh, that's nice, love the pattern. We'll take it. But first I've gotta make sure it's battened down. We don't want this one slippin' off, eh, buddy?  Oops. Hey, what about that one?  Oops, sorry, Jack. Hey, how much is that one?"
Angry Jack: Why don't you just hold your snail? I'll take care of the shells.,"Good idea, Angry."
"Angry Jack: So, how do ya like this one?","Well, it certainly is shiny."
Angry Jack: It's our most reflective model.,"Oh, that is bright.  Can't... see! Ow, what was that? S'cuse me.  Why – can't – I – stop – breaking – shells!  Whoops. Say, Jack, I don't suppose you have any more to show me?"
"Angry Jack: I do have one more available. It's the only certified indestructible shell I've ever seen, but I'm sure you'll find a way.","Wait, wait, wait. Before we do the hand-off, let me make some precautionary measures. Okay, first,  shoes are tied. Hands are dry.  And now, a thick layer of bubble wrap.  You, um, you sure you don't have any more in the back?"
Angry Jack: The back? There is no back anymore.,"Well, look on the bright side. I reduced your inventory for you."
"Angry Jack: Reduced?! You destroyed everything! And now, you're gonna have to pay.",Are you really angry or ya just trying to sound louder?
Angry Jack: I'm really angry! Commercial Voice: Blistering fury! Angry Jack: And I demand immediate payment!,"Take it, it's all my savings."
Angry Jack: This? This isn't enough to repay my fortune! I'm gonna need more.,"Sorry, that's all I got. Honest."
"Angry Jack: No, it's not. You've got two arms and two legs, dontcha?",Yeah.
Angry Jack: Gimme one of each.,Okay.
Angry Jack: I'll also need some internal organs.  And an eyeball.  And your dothes.,"Oh, Gary. How I wish your shell could grow back like my appendages.  Hey, I've got an idea!"
Gary:  Meow.,"Oh, Gary, it's not that bad! Square looks good on anybody!  Oh, who am I kidding? It looks terrible on you! I know, Gary, I ruined your life! Do you have to rub it in?!?"
"Mr. Krabs: Hey, what's with all that sniveling?","Mr. Krabs, what are you doing here?"
"Mr. Krabs: Well, I just, - oh - well, um… never mind that, boy. What's your problem?","I destroyed Gary's shell, and now I can't find a replacement, so I guess he'll just spend the rest of his days as a lowly slug!"
"Gary: Meow. Mr. Krabs: There there, boy, there there. It's not that bad. I'm sure you'll think of something.","Mr. Krabs, perhaps you can help me find a new shell for Gary."
"Mr. Krabs: Well, I'd be honored to help you and your snivelin' snail during such desperate times, 'cause I love helping others, like helping myself. Now, how much ya got?","Nothing, Mr. Krabs. I'm broke."
Mr. Krabs: Oh. I see,"Wait, Mr. Krabs! If you help me get Gary a shell, I'll, work for free for the rest of the year."
Mr. Krabs: Only if I get to cut your health benefit for ya.,Deal!  Another bad dream.  Aaargh!  Mr. Krabs?
Gary: Meow.,"Sorry, Gary, I'm not used to your new shell."
"Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, me boy, I need to borrow a blanket.","There ya go, Mr. Krabs."
"Mr. Krabs: Thanks, boyo. Now I'm all toasty.","Ahh. I guess all's shell that ends shell, huh, Gary? Dahahah! That's a good one.  Gary?  Gary?  Gary? Time for Boating School! Let er rip, Gary.  Ahh...  Ta-da! Not bad, partner in crime. The toast could have been a little darker, though.  See you later."
"Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob, want to go jellyfishing?","Sorry, Patrick, I can't. I have school today."
"Patrick: Well, what am I supposed to do all day while you're at school?",I don't know. What do you normally do while I'm gone?
Patrick:  Wait for you to get back.,"Wait a second, Patrick. Why don't you come to school with me?"
"Patrick: Hey, that's a great idea!",You and me in school together as classmates! Think about it!
Patrick: Wow.,"Brace yourself, Patrick. I'm about to introduce you to the greatest academic thrill ride of your lifetime."
Patrick:  And no line.,"Behold, Patrick, the Hallway Of Learning.  And this is the Fountain Of Learning.  And these are the Lockers Of Learning."
"Patrick:  And these are the Stairs Of Learning, right?","No, they're just the stairs.  These are the Stairs Of Learning."
Patrick: Where is everyone?,"I don't know. Home, probably. Class doesn't start 'til 9."
Patrick:  6:20? But I thought you said you were late.,Late for being early!
Patrick: Hey...  When did I start wearing a watch?,"And now, for the room with the most class: the Classroom."
Patrick: Ohh.,And this is the chalkboard. It's the ladle that helps us drink from the Fountain Of Knowledge.
Patrick: Ohhh.,And those drinks are recorded here on the Good Noodle board.
"Patrick: Huh? Uh, sorry. Ohhhh!","Attendance. Penmanship. Basic Desk Sanitation. Advanced Desk Sanitation. I'll add your name so you can start collecting good noodle stars, too.  There you are."
Patrick: But look at all the stars you have. I'll never be that good.,"Oh, now, Patrick. I'm just like everyone else, no matter how many stars I have. Ahem!  74."
Patrick: Who said that?  Was it him?,"I doubt it. That's Roger, our class science project."
Patrick: What does he teach us?,"The greatest lesson of all: the precious value of life. You see, Patrick, Roger's shell represents the fragile line between life and death when behind the wheel of a boat.  This light bulb represents knowledge. And without its energy and warmth, within minutes... Roger would die."
Patrick:  LIFE! DEATH! LIFE! DEATH! LIFE! DEATH! LIFE! DEATH! LIFE! DEATH!,Patrick!
Patrick:  Sorry...,The best part about being early is you get to sit close to the teacher. Think you can handle the second chair?
Patrick:  I'm learning!,This is gonna be great!
"Mrs. Puff: Hello, class, my name is Mrs. Puff. And the only reason I say that I see we have a new student. Young man, why don't you stand up and introduce yourself? Patrick:  Who's the fat kid talking to?","You, Patrick, she's the teacher."
"Patrick: Oh. Mrs. Puff: Come on now, tell the class your name. Don't be nervous. Patrick: Uhh...guhhhh... Mrs. Puff: We just want to know your name. Patrick: Gyuhhh...uhhh...guhhhh...24. Class: HAHAHAHAHAHA! Mrs. Puff:  Oh, great, another genius... Patrick:  Why are they laughing?",I guess it's just in the timing.
Patrick: Oh. Mrs. Puff:  Today's first lesson will be on turning. Patrick: 24.,"Hey, Patrick."
Patrick: What?,I thought of something funnier than 24.
Patrick: Let me hear it.,...25.
"Mrs. Puff:  That's enough! Young man, this is your first day, so I'll let you off with a warning. As for you, SpongeBob, I expect more from a good noodle. Pay attention.","Yes, Mrs. Puff."
"Mrs. Puff: Now then, Turning; what every driver should know. When you are turning, it is important to signal at least...","Big Fat Meanie!?! Patrick, you can't do that! She's the teacher!"
"Mrs. Puff: What about the teacher?  AS IF I REALLY LOOK LIKE THIS!  SpongeBob, I believe you know the punishment for two classroom disruptions.",No...
"Mrs. Puff: I'm sorry, SpongeBob, but if one wishes to be a good noodle, one must behave like a good noodle.",I'm a good noodle! I'm a good noodle!!
Mrs. Puff:  You'll get this star back when you earn it.,"NOOOO!  No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!"
"Patrick:  Mrs. Puff, is it naptime? Mrs. Puff: SpongeBob, I've had enough of your nonsense. Now collect your things and move to the available desk in the back of the room!","What, me? But why?"
Mrs. Puff: Because the Big Fat Meanie said so. Now go!,"Thanks a lot, Patrick."
"Patrick: Sure thing, buddy.","Well, I guess I can be a Good Noodle from back here.  It's so hard to hear. What kind of student sits back here anyway?  'Skool is 4 Chumps'? Where am I?"
"Patrick: Psst, SpongeBob?","Just ignore him, SpongeBob."
"Patrick: SpongeBob, over here.","Whatever you do, don't look at him."
"Patrick: Psst, SpongeBob.  Psst, SpongeBob.  SpongeBo-ob!  SpongeBob? Psst, over heeeere... I'm trying to tell you something. Something important.",What?!?!
Patrick:  Hi.,HIIIIIIIIIIIIII?!?!?!
"Mrs. Puff: Perhaps this would be a good time for recess. Patrick: Hey, buddy. Funny stuff in there, funny stuff.","There is nothing funny about what you did in there, Patrick! You got me in trouble! You got me moved to the back of the room! You cost me one of my Good Noodle Stars!"
Patrick:  Who cares about a stupid star?,"Gee, Patrick, it seems like you would care a lot about stupid stars, CONSIDERING YOU ARE ONE!"
Patrick: I'll deal with you after class!,It is after class!
"Patrick: I don't see anyone fighting, do you?",They're talking about us! We're fighting!
"Patrick: Well, don't mind if I do! Student: This is embarrassing. Mrs. Puff:  What's going on here?!  Well? Patrick: SpongeBob and I were fighting. Mrs. Puff:  Fighting?  Well, I can't believe I'm saying this, but, SpongeBob SquarePants, I hereby sentence you and your friend  to detention!",Detention!?
Mrs. Puff: May Neptune have mercy on your soul.,"In one day, I've gone from Good Noodle to Bad Egg.  It's all Stupid Patrick's fault.  I hate you, Patrick."
Patrick: I hate you more.,I'd hate you no matter what.
"Patrick: Yeah, well, I'd hate you even if I didn't hate you.",I'd hate you even if that made sense.
Patrick: I'd hate you even if you were me. That's how much I hate you.,"I'd hate you, even if, uhh...  Um, I'd hate you...  even if the light bulb keeping Roger alive went out.  Huh?"
Patrick: Ohh...  Hmph. Patrick:  Ohhhhh...!,Mmmm... I'm sorry I called you a stupid star!
Patrick:  I'm sorry I got you in trouble and got you moved to the back of the class and got your Good Noodle Star removed and shot the spitballs--,"I'm sorry, your apology is so long!"
Patrick: Me too! Let's save Roger!,I'll keep him warm and you get a light bulb from the supply closet!
"Patrick:  Ahh! LIGHT BULB!  But why does it have to be so far away?  I'm coming, SpongeBob!","Oh, where's Patrick? Aw, forget it. I've got to go find Roger some warmth.  The light bulb! Without its warmth, Roger will die!"
"Patrick: Roger! Without him, the light bulb will have nothing to warm!","We did it, Patrick! We saved Roger's life!"
"Mrs. Puff:  Good job boys!  I saw the whole thing from behind my one-way chalkboard, and I couldn't be happier with your teamwork. I've decided to give you each one gold star. Although I'm not sure what saving an egg has to do with Boating School. Patrick: Boating School? I thought this was Spanish class. See ya, SpongeBob. See ya, Big, Fat Meanie. Roger:  Hey! What'd I miss? Squidina:  Hey, you've sampled every flavor we have. Will you please just pick one?! Patrick: Mm-mmm! Not so fast. I would now like to sample combinations of flavors, and I would like to use my spoon! Squidina:  Security. We have a sample mooch at the counter. Octavius Rex's coworker: Wow. I can't believe Goofy Goobers employees get to eat all the ice cream they want on this job. Patrick: Hmm? Octavius Rex: Yeah, but the rule is only on the first break. And for lunch,  and on the second break, and for dinner. Octavius Rex's coworker: Wow! Ice cream all day! Octavius Rex:  Ice cream all day. All day. All day. All day. Patrick: Ice cream all day?  I'm getting a job at Goofy Goober! Video announcer: Goofy Goober's and you. Training announcer: Hello, and welcome! As a new Goofy Goober employee, we'd like you to know that we appreciate you.  The story of our ice cream begins with our founder, Reginald Goober.  Who for some unexplained reason was nicknamed Goofy.  In 1842, he headed West in a covered ice cream wagon. In the days before cones and refrigeration,  he served warm ice cream on rocks and sticks.  From those humble beginnings, Goofy Goober has grown into a multibillion dollar business  that you, our newest employee, now have the privilege to work for.  We only ask that you, one, practice good hygiene,  two, maintain good work habits,  and three, believe in extraterrestrials. Reginald Goober:  Peace, hugs, and ice cream! Video announcer:  The end. Goofy Goober manager: Hello, Goofy newbie. Patrick:  Can I have my ice cream now? Goofy Goober manager: Not until your first break.  I'm your manager and I want you to know that I appreciate you. Now let's get you started.  You will be washing dishes today.  What do you think of that? Patrick: Oh, I had a thought once. Goofy Goober manager:  Ooh, you sure put the Goofy in Goober! I'll check on you in a few minutes. Goofy Goober manager: Exceptional! Show me how you cleaned all these dishes so fast. Patrick: Okay! Goofy Goober manager:  Never tell anyone you did that. Patrick:  Is it time for my first break? Goofy Goober manager: Not yet. Patrick: Aww! Goofy Goober manager: This should be easy.  Just unload the boxes of ice cream from the truck, and stack them in the freezer. Okay, repeat it back to me. Patrick:  When the bell rings, I peel a banana and run like the devil. Goofy Goober manager:  Uh. Eh, close enough. Goofy Goober manager:  Ooh, good, good! The truck is empty.  That's hot! Patrick: Nothing's biting today. Goofy Goober manager: Newbie, why would you turn the heat on in the freezer? Patrick: Oh, it was freezing in there, and the fire I built wasn't doing it. Goofy Goober manager: What?! Goofy Goober manager: Now, this should be easy for you. You just walk around as Goofy the Goober and wave to the kids. But a warning—Sometimes the kids get a little over-affectionate. Little girl #1: I love you, Goofy Goober! Goofy Goober manager:  So cute. Good luck! Little boy:  I want you to be my daddy! Little girl #2:  I want to crack this nut! Patrick: Sorry. Patrick: Oh. Unattended ice cream.  Mustn't let it go to waste. Goofy Goober manager: I think you better go home and clean up. Patrick:  But I haven't had my first ice cream break! Goofy Goober manager: I'll give you another chance tomorrow. If it doesn't work out, I'm afraid you're fired... in a most appreciative way. Patrick: Oh, sorry, mister. I thought this was my rock.","Patrick, this is your rock. I was waiting for you. How was your first day at work?"
"Patrick: Oh, I can't do anything right. I'll probably get fired tomorrow.","Oh, you poor little sea star. Tell you what, buddy—Tomorrow, I'll come with you to work and help out."
"Patrick: Oh, thanks, kind stranger! Patrick: Okay, tell me for the gajillionth time, how is this gonna work?","I'll show you.  If you put arm arms behind you, I can be your hands."
"Patrick: Ooh, so when I scoop ice cream—",I'll do the scoopin'.
Patrick: And when I give change—,I'll do the countin'.
Patrick: And when my butt itches—,"Yeah, I'm not doing that."
"Goofy Goober manager: Okay, ready for your second, and last chance?  Let me show you how to make— Patrick: Ice cream sandwiches?  I think I got this. Patrick: Time for my first break? Goofy Goober manager: Oh, no, no, no. Not yet, not yet.  But I think you're ready for the big time.  All right, kid. Relax, don't choke, and try to have fun. Patrick: Easy, queasy, lemon squeezy.",Ta-da!
Patrick: Work is hard work.,"Hello, folks! I'm Edible Edie! Start with my head!"
"Goofy Goober manager:  Great job, newbie. Now you can take your first break. Patrick: My break? I can eat ice cream now? Goofy Goober manager: All you can handle. Patrick: Thanks for your help, buddy. Now, let's dig in.","Oh, I'd love to.  But if I don't hurry, I'll be late for my job. Sure you can handle that ice cream all... by yourself?  Silly question.  Good luck, my employed pal."
"Patrick:  Oh! Only two more minutes for my break! And two more minutes for ice cream! Kids:  Chug, chug, chug, chug! Patrick: Brain freeze! French narrator: (Robotic speak) Five billion years later... Patrick:  I think that went well! Goofy Goober manager:  You are fired! Patrick: That's okay! I'm lactose intolerant anyways.  A little—  Peace, hugs, and ice cream! Squidward:  I am a culinary genius, no?  Here you are, sir. Ze specialty of mah house. Roast salad à la Squidward.  Sacré bleu! I must apologize, monsieur! I have forgotten the parsley for the garnish.  Stay warm, my little Squidy.  Le oww!  Typical, I always forget something. Squidward: Ugh! Squidward: A sea bunny? Squidward:  Ow! Squidward:  That voracious vermin is ruining my French chef fantasy.  Why—ah! Squidward: Grr!  Oh—oh, no, no, no, no! I have a ticklish core! Squidward: Oh. Squidward: My roast à la Squidward! Squidward: What the— Squidward: Oof! Squidward: I declare war on bunnies! Squidward:  I am going to bury that bunny! Patrick:  Wow. That's the ugliest eggplant I've ever seen! I don't think Squidward would mind if I took a little taste. Ooh, come here. Squidward: Ha, he's gonna fall right into my trap. Squidward:  Hello, Animal Control? I've got a sea bunny cornered in my garden and need assistance! Squidward: Did you have to catch him that easily?","I demand the release of this poor woodland creature. He's got rights too, you know."
"Squidward: This is none of your business, SpongeBob, go away! Animal Control Officer: You want him? You can keep him.  Save me a trip to the incinerator.",Hooray!
"Squidward: I'm warning you, SpongeBob. Keep that filthy animal away from my—","Vegetables! That's what you like, isn't it, bunny? We'll see what we got in the fridge. Whoops, I'm out of veggies. But I got something even better.  Gary's food! Yay!  Does bunny wunny like his dinny winny? All right, Gary's food is out. Got it. I'll get you veggies. I'll be right back. Bunny wunny! I've got a surprise for you— I'm gonna have to chew-proof this whole house fast!  Hot sauce ought to do the trick. Huh? No, no, no, no! My comic books! I gotta get rid of all that hot sauce. Oh, oh, oh, oh! Here we are! Water supply—check. Trampoline for hopping—check. Buckteeth sharpener—check. And an adding machine for multiplying.  Triple check-aroonie! Now the bunny will be more than happy to stay in his cage. Huh? Doesn't like cage...  Check. No, no, bunny, don't go in there! You'll get lost! I need my jellyfishing net. Where did I put that thing?  Probably dropped it in here somewhere. Nyah, nyah—ah, got it!"
Patrick: Hello!,"Patrick, did you fall between the cushions again?"
"Patrick: No, SpongeBob, I fell between the cushions.  But I have a solution to your bunny problem. I love the hunt!","No, no! No, don't! Please don't! That's my— All right, Patrick, that's enough hunting. You can come out now."
"Patrick: I can't see where I'm going. How do I get out of here?  SpongeBob, where are I?","Stay where you are, Patrick! I've got an idea. To the pet shop! Thank you!  Patrick! I bought a second bunny to lure the first bunny out of hiding."
Patrick: Hooray!,"Hold still, Patrick, I see you."
"Patrick:  Thanks, buddy.  Aww, bunnies!","One, two... Three?"
Patrick: More bunnies!,"Yay! Uh-oh.  Patrick, the hunt is on! Hey! Come back, bunny wunnies!"
"Squidward:  This is the last carrot.  C'est la vie.  One more step, and I will spit you on a roast! I mean, roast you on a spit!  Oh, oh, what's happening?","Don't worry, Squidward."
"Patrick: Yeah. We're here to help! Squidward: They're growing! Squidward: Hello, Animal Control? Save me!! Squidward: Get out of my house! Gah!  That'll get them out.","Sorry about your house, Squidward."
"Patrick: Yeah. We just heard. Squidward:  I'm a bunny now!  I'm a bunny now! I'm a bunny now! Animal Control Officer: Okay, Mr. Tentacles, easy does it. Squidward:  I'm a bunny now!  I'm a bunny now! Sandy: Huh? Sandy:  It's here! Yee-haw! My newest science book has arrived! I wonder what new and fantastic area of science will be revealed to me this month!  Oh, hey! It's those fancy bloomers I ordered too! This day just keeps getting better!  Ahh! Behavorial psychology is the study of people and their habits. I studied underwater chemistry, geology, and astronomy, but I never studied underwater people! Sandy: Sandy Cheeks. Day one of behavioral study of subjects in Bikini Bottom. Initiating observations,  now! Charlie: My mom says she wouldn't even try it. No matter how much I saw the lagoons. Amanda's mother: My daughter Amanda is exactly the same. It's always an argument, but I've tried to... Sandy: Older lumpy looking female subject. Obviously, a mother. Hates daughter. Amanda's mother: Excuse me? Sandy: Subject asked to be excused, but I am unable to observe what she wishes to be excused from. Fred: Hey! Creepy squirrel! What's with all the eavesdropping? Charlie: Take a hike, mammal! Sandy: Emotional state seems to be rising in anger. Eyebrows are now considerably furrowed. Sandy: I gotta find new subjects. Sandy: Who won't mind being observed. Sandy: Eureka! Prospector: Hey, that's my line! Sandy: Hey, fellas! How'd you like to be part of my cool experiment? Patrick: Ooh! I could use a mint! (Rubs his tummy) Mmm! Sandy: No, Patrick. It's an experiment in behavioral psychology. Patrick: That doesn't sound tasty.",What do we have to do?
Sandy: It's easy. I observe you while you two act normal.,Act normal?
Sandy: Yeah. Just do what you naturally do.  Be natural. Starting... now!,"Uh, natural greeting to you, friend."
Patrick: Natural greeting returned.,Would you like to have some natural fun?
"Patrick: Oh, yes. Please.",Naturally.
Sandy: Aww. Alright. Experiment's done.,Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! What are the results?
"Patrick:  Hey, did we do good?","Oh, can I have an A plus?"
Patrick: Oh! Oh! Yeah!  I want an A plus too! Patrick: Pretty please? Pretty please? Pretty please?,Pretty please with sugar on top?
"Sandy: Yes, yes. You both get an A plus.",Whoo!
Patrick: I knew it! Sandy: Subjects acting natural. Resume observation.,We got an A plus!
"SpongeBob and Patrick: A plus! A plus! A plus! Sandy: Oh, forget it. Sandy: When a subject is aware of being observed, it can affect his or her actions and create inaccurate data. Hmm... Sandy: Double eureka! Two Prospectors: That's our line! Sandy: Hey! Are you guys up for another experiment?","Oh boy! Am I ever! Can you hook us up to electrodes? Or, or expose us to gamma rays?"
Patrick: Yeah? Sandy: It's a guaranteed A plus. Patrick: Oh! It's like a dream! Sandy: Okay. First thing. Go to the beach and fill one bucket with white sand and one bucket with black sand. Can you do that?,Easy sneezy!
"Sandy:  Ew. Patrick: Hey, yeah. Whatever he said. Sandy: Then off you go. Sandy: Time to get to work. Gary: Meow.",Sandy! We're back!
"Sandy: Good job, fellers! Patrick: We're an awesome team!","We sure are, buddy!"
"Sandy: Okay, team. For this experiment, I need you to count the grains of sand in each bucket. Then tell me if there are more black grains or more white grains. Or is it the same amount? Alright then. I have to run some errands, but I'll be back later.","Aye-aye, Captain Sandy."
"Sandy: Oh, and, Patrick, you're in charge. Sandy:  All systems check.","Well, let's get counting. Should we both count white sand and move onto the black sand or do you want to have your own bucket?"
Patrick:  I'm in charge. I'm in charge. I'm in charge.,"So what's it gonna be, boss?"
"Patrick: Uh, the first one?",You're in charge.
Patrick:  I'm in charge.,One. Ahem.
Patrick:  I'm in charge. Patrick: Two.,Three.
Patrick:  I'm in charge. I'm in charge. I'm in charge.,Forty-seven. Forty-seven?
Patrick: Uh. Huh? What?,Huh. Lost you there for a bit. We were at forty-seven.
Patrick:  I don't know if I wanna do it this way.,"Okay, boss man. How do you wanna do it?"
Patrick: Uh...,How about you count the white and I count the black sand?
"Patrick: Yeah! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's it. Patrick: Forty-eight, forty-... nine,  Oh! Oh, fifty!","One, two, three, four, five. six,..."
"Both: Seven, eight, nine, ten. Sandy: Time to initiate the first variable. One big bowl. One small bowl. Exactly eight ounces per bowl.  Free ice cream! Free ice cream! One day only! Get your free ice cream! Patrick: Oh boy! Let's go!",You're the boss!
"Sandy: Free ice cream! Squidward: Oh my sea stars! Free ice cream! Sandy:  Hey, boys! How'd ya like a nice free bowl of tootsie frootsie ice cream? Sandy: Okey-dokey! Squidward: One free ice cream, please? Sandy:  All sold out. Maybe I'll get some later. Patrick: Um. Uh. Your.. your bowl is bigger!",Do you wanna trade?
Patrick: Yeah. Patrick: You got more ice cream!,"Patrick, I think your ice cream only looks smaller, but the bowl is big."
"Patrick: Well, I wanna trade back! Patrick: There's only one fair thing to do.","What's that? Patrick, you call that fair?"
Patrick: I'm in charge!,Uh... Oh. Yeah.
"Sandy: Time for variable two. More free ice cream here! Now, with same sized cones! Squidward: Huh? I just got my slippers on! Sandy: Here ya go! Patrick: I'll take those my good man.","But, Patrick, I..."
"Patrick: I'm in charge. Squidward: One cone, please? Sandy: All gone! Squidward: For the love of Pete!",Can I have my cone now? Can I have my cone now? Can I have my cone now? Can I have my cone now?
Patrick: Hmmm...  Rub my feet first!,"Oh, come on!"
Patrick: Who's in charge?,"Alright, I'll rub your feet. Hey! My ice cream is melted all over your hand!"
Patrick: Oh... I'll fix that.,"Patrick, you are making very poor choices!"
Patrick: Don't you back-sass me! I'm in charge and you have to do what I say! Now count that bucket of white sand.,"Alright, I will! One-million eight hundred ninety-three thousand six hundred and one, one-million eight hundred ninety-three thousand six hundred and two, one-million eight hundred ninety-three thousand six hundred and three. Done! Now to count the black sand."
"Patrick: Oh, that's a pity. Patrick: Looks like you'll have to start over.","Aaaah!  Enjoying that ice cream, Patrick?"
"Patrick: Yes, I am.",Would you like sprinkles on it?
"Patrick: Hey! Sandy: Jeepers! I didn't see that comin'! Patrick: You're not leaving until I say so! Sandy:  Sandy to Gary! Sandy to Gary! How serious is the situation? Gary: Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow! Sandy: Oh, I didn't think this all the way through! I've gotta shut this down! Squidward: Ah-ha! Squidward: I want my free... Sandy:  Open the door! The experiment is over!  Open the door! Patrick: You heard Sandy! Open the door!",You open it!
"Patrick: No, you open it!","No, you open it!"
"Patrick: Mr. Pavlovi, tell SpongeBob to open the door! Sandy:  It's me! Sandy! Sandy: The experiment is over!",But we didn't even finish counting the sand!
Sandy: I didn't care about the sand! I just wanted to observe you acting naturally. So I hid microphones and cameras around your house... SpongeBob and Patrick: Cameras?,"Et tu, Gary?"
Gary: Meow. Patrick: I was a monster! I deserve a Z minus!,"Aww, Patrick. Don't be so hard on yourself. It was the experiment's fault that you were such a jerk."
Patrick: I blame science! Stupid science! Sandy: Everybody gets an A plus and ice cream!,"Oh, yeah!"
"Patrick: Squidward: What is going on? Squidward: I know it's a stupid question, but is there any ice cream left? Sandy:  Sorry. We're all out. Squidward:  You ate it all?! You animals! You didn't even leave me one drop?!  There's gotta be some left in here! Sandy: Now let the real experiment begin. Squidward: Come on! Get in my mouth! No, this one's empty!","Whoa, look at that cloud, Gary! It looks just like a giraffe eating ice cream."
Gary: Meow.,"You're right, Gary, all this cloud-watching is making me hungry too. Ooh, look at that big one, Gary!"
Gary:  Meow!,"It's getting bigger, and bigger, and bigger,  and bigger, and— ow!"
Gary: Meow.,"Hey Gary, that was a pretty heavy cloud."
Gary: Meow.,"You're right, Gary, it's not a cloud at all.  Let's see what's inside.  Whoo, fortune cookies! Vague prophecies baked into delicious bite-sized snacks. These cookies can see the future, Gary, which means they knew we were hungry, even before we did. Let's eat! A great fortune has fallen upon you.  Did you hear that Gary, the fortune is true! Let's look at your future.  Happy trails will follow you always.  Your fortune came true too! Cookies with fortunes that actually come true? We have to share these with everybody!"
"Mr. Krabs: No, SpongeBob, we are not handing out anything free with every purchase! Even the smiles here cost a nickel.","Aw, why not, Mr. Krabs?"
"Squidward:  Because, SpongeBob, fortune cookie fortunes are always lame and they never come true.","Oh, but that's where you're wrong, Squidward. These fortune cookies are different, try one."
"Squidward:  No.  Way. Squidward: You will be rewarded for your particular talent. Right. French Purser: Excuse me, Mr. Squidward Tentacles, you have just won the most miserable cashier in Bikini Bottom contest. Here is your cash prize! Squidward: Holy harpoons, the fortune did come true! Mr. Krabs:  Me cash register, me money. Squidward: And that's why my depression is award-winning.","Don't you see, Mr. Krabs, the fortunes in those cookies are real. Can't we share them with everyone?"
"Mr. Krabs:  You know, you're right, SpongeBob.  We will share these magical macaroons with all the folks in Bikini Bottom. You just leave it to me.",All right!
"Squidward:  Hooray. Mr. Krabs:  This is how you hook them!  Now remember, the first one is free! Dale:  Something wonderful is about to happen to you.  I love puppies. Thanks, fortune cookie! Mable-Monica: Eat your hat and you will fall in love. Mable-Monica and Lenny: Thanks  fortune cookie! Ivy: You will soon injure your legs?!  My legs! I was looking for an excuse to get out of jury duty.  Thanks fortune cookie!",Those fortune cookies are a hit.
"Plankton:  Fortune cookies at the Krusty Krab, aye? Well, Eugene, I have a prediction too. You are in for an epic fail supreme with extra cheese! Karen: Sheldon! Where are you!? Plankton: Barnacles, woman, would it kill you to leave me alone for five minutes?! Karen: Sorry, your lordship, but the garbage isn't going to take itself out. Plankton:  Riddle me this, computer wife, what's hollow, full of lies, and leaves a bad taste in your mouth? Karen: Our marriage? Plankton: No! Fortune cookies. And Krabs is raking it in right now because all of his fortunes are actually coming true?! So... Karen:  So, you got an evil plan to get the Krabby Patty secret formula and soon it will be yours, all yours. Plankton:  Wow, I can't tell if you're sarcastic or psychic. Karen: Ugh. Plankton: This will be a good one,  You stink. Plankton: Enjoy your new fortune cookies, Krabs!",Time for a refill.
"Lenny: What is my future? Squidward:  My tentacles are going to fall off if I don't get a break soon, Mr. Krabs! Mr. Krabs:  Look out, Mr. Squidward, I'll teach ya how to run a cash register.  Huh? More cookies, SpongeBob!","Fortunes flying in, Mr. Krabs."
Plankton: Let the wave of misfortune begin. Dale: You will get stomach cramps from the Krusty Krab?! Mable: The octopus with the big nose just spit in your food?! Frankie Billy: A yellow sponge will serve you salmonella?! Ivy: You will live forever if you eat at the Chum Bucket?! Susie Rechid: Let's eat at the Chum Bucket. Mr. Krabs:  What did we ever do to those fortune cookies to make them lie about us like that?,"Well, the fortunes in those cookies were always right before.  Here Mr. Krabs, maybe this next one will change your luck."
"Mr. Krabs:  Unless you give a tiny copepod the Krabby Patty secret formula, you will die?! Plankton:  Hello!  Did someone say copepod? Plankton: Just wanted to borrow a cup of grease, Eugene. I'll come back later, ciao! Mr. Krabs:  J-just how true are these cookie fortunes, SpongeBob?","If the cookie says it's true, then it's true. Horribly, terribly, truthfully, true!"
"Mr. Krabs: You will die. Pearl:  Oh, I'll miss you, daddy!  But I really can't wait to spend your hard-earned money on shoes! Mr. Krabs:  Me money!","Mr. Krabs! No! Mr. Krabs? Mr. Krabs, it's time.  It's time to give up the secret formula to Plankton!  Because your life is worth more than some scrap of paper in a bottle."
"Mr. Krabs: You're right, me boy-o,  I've got to face me fortune. Karen: Don't crowd, there's more Chumbalaya where that came from, unfortunately. Crowd: Frankie Billy: It's worth it to live forever. Plankton: The scheme is working perfectly,  and here comes gullible Krabs now to hand-deliver the secret formula.  I promised myself I wouldn't cry. Mr. Krabs: Oh, this crowd is impossible!","Leave it to me, Mr. Krabs. I'll make sure Plankton gets his so you won't get yours.  Hot stuff comin' through!"
"Plankton: Don't worry, secret formula, I'm comin', baby! Plankton: Me want that papa!","Here Plankton, Mr. Krabs wants you to have this."
"Plankton:  Finally!  No!  Ah-hah.  I have had enough!  Get out of my restaurant, you mindless sheep! I wrote those fortunes,  they were fakes, don't you get it?! Now all of you, out! Dale: Let's go back to the Krusty Krab! Plankton: I guess I didn't really think that through. Mr. Krabs: I figured the funeral fortune was phony, Plankton. Plankton: Oh, yeah?! What are you going to do about it, Eugene? Mr. Krabs: Nothing, Sheldon.  Here, have a fortune cookie. Plankton:  Eh. You will go on a long voyage where you will get everything you deserve.  Hey! Plankton: Ahh! Hey!  Ooh! Mommy! Squidward:  Maybe I'll...practice my clarinet. Squidward: Ah-he-he-hem.","Kind of sounds like Squidward's practicing his clarinet over there. Doesn't it, Gary? Gary? Well, I can't just stand by and let him practice alone. Then what kind of a friend and neighbor would I be? Not that kind that I... ...would want. Hi, neighbor!"
Squidward: Gah! Dah! Dah! Dah!,Should we take it from the top?
"Squidward: The day I willingly practice my musical art with you is the day I grow hair on my... ?: Like, bravo, man! Bravo! Squidward: And who might you be? ?: ♪ I'm glad you asked! I'll make it perfectly clear! I'm the guy you made smiled from ear to ear! 'Cause the sweet sounds coming from this here direction! The entire ocean should hear! Now what I am promoting to you, is something I feel is my duty to do! I'm not just some admiring passerby, I want to be your concert promoting manager guy! ♪ Squidward: ♪ Are you serious? Is this a dream? ♪ Colonel Carper: ♪ Colonel Carper's the name, I think we'll make a great team! You and your musical compadre there are the next big thing, I do solemnly swear! Sooo! What are we waiting for? It's high tide time we go on tour! Together, we'll set sail on a magical, musical journey! Where you'll play for at least a trillion, and that guy on the gurney! Screaming fans will excitedly clap their hands for more! As you fly though the air, during your fourth encore! And remember to bring your rake, 'cause Neptune only knows the money you'll make! ♪ Mr. Krabs:  ♪ Did someone said money? I could swear that's what I heard! I got super sensitive hearing when it comes to that word! ♪ Squidward: ♪ Yes he said money, but more importantly, he said faaaannnnnnssss! And not the type that blows air if you're feeling too hot! The type that wants autographs on everything they got! ♪ Ivy (gray):  Signature, Mr. Tentacles?",♪ And when I heard the word Team which is special to meeee! 'Cause through the power of music there's no way we won't get. The bond together with this special duet! ♪
"SpongeBob and Colonel Carper: ♪ Soooo! What are we waiting for? It's high tide time we went on tour! ♪ Squidward: Uh, excuse me? Is there anyway I get to do this tour as a soloist? Colonel Carper: ♪ Hmm, let me think about that for a second... ♪ None! Whatsoever! The tour must consist of the two insists of the tall one with halitosis and the square one with the talented wrist! ♪ Squidward: ♪ A dream wrapped in pain. I don't know whether to smile or pout. ♪ Mr. Krabs: ♪ Excuse me, Colonel! I'll be taking over from here on out! ♪ Colonel Carper: ♪ But it was I who discovered this soon-to-be famous band! And I'm the one who knows what it takes to get them there! You'll need a tour bus, venue, gotta build up buzz! You'll need equipment and roadies too! I'm the expert of all things concert promotionist making you have no inclaim, you have no clue! ♪ Mr. Krabs:  ♪ Thanks for all the great tips! I think you should be on your way! Good bye! Good luck! Have a nice day! Sooo! What are we waiting for? It's high tide time we went on tour! ♪ Mr. Krabs: Up and at 'em, boys! We got a tour to put on! Mrs. Puff:  Phew...changing the oil in the school busmobile sure is a pain in the......What?  Stop! Thief! Mr. Krabs: Mornin', Squidward!  Tour bus, sound equipment, check! All I need now is a...roadie? Now where in Neptune how I'm ever gonna find... Patrick:  Somebody left this thing laying around the parking lot. Mr. Krabs: Roadie! Check! Mr. Krabs: Here we are, boys! Our first gig! All those people are lined up to see you! Squidward: Sounds like a load of hooey... Mr. Krabs: Alright, roadie, start unloading the hooey! Patrick:  Uh, Mr. Krabs? Where do I put this? Mr. Krabs:  Anywhere is fine. Patrick: Then what about this?",Hey! Look! It's Ned and the Needlefish!
"Colonel Carper: Well, well, well! If it isn't that guy that stole my band! I hope you all aren't here to steal THIS band, too! Because THIS time around, I'll be ready for ya! Mr. Krabs: Well, that's very interesting, Colonel Carper! But right now, my band and I are on a world tour! And tonight, we're opening for Ned and the Needlefish! Colonel Carper: Mr. Krabs: Yeah...eh, what's so funny!? Colonel Carper: You are! And the fact that you think you have any idea what it takes to put on a musical tour! Mr. Krabs: We have a tour bus, sound equipment, a roadie! Colonel Carper: You call that a tour bus?  You call this sound equipment? That's not a roadie, these are roadies! Mr. Krabs: Ahhhh! Colonel Carper: I'll tell you what, I'll let you open for Ned and the Needlefish on one condition: My roadies get to sabotage your sound equipment and have it blow up during your sound check! Mr. Krabs: Wait a minute...what's that gonna cost me? Colonel Carper: Oh, that will be free! Mr. Krabs:  Deal! Mr. Krabs: Okay, Mr. Squidward. Take it from the top!  Doggonit... Colonel Carper: Hah hah hah! Now you don't have any sound equipment! Unlike me, who has this entire wall of speakers you see right behind me! Hah hah hah! Now your whole tour is ruined! Hah hah hah hah!  Seriously! I can't! I can't take it! It's too much!",It sure was nice of that Colonel Carper guy to let us borrow his entire wall of sound equipment! Wasn't it Mr. Krabs?
"Mr. Krabs: Well, here we are! Our next gig! Squidward: We're performing at a supermarket? Driver, turn this bus around! The tour is canceled! Head straight back to the Krusty Krab! Mr. Krabs: Sorry, Squidward, but that is physically impossible! Squidward: What!? Mr. Krabs: Because it's not there anymore!",The Krusty Krab's not there anymore!? Where'd it go?
Mr. Krabs: I pawned it! To raise the cash for the concert tour!,You did what?!!
"Mr. Krabs: Yeah...hard to believe, I know! My heard aches when I think of me old girl cold and lonely. Just sitting in the front window of that dirty pawn shop at the mercy of any random joe who just happens to pass on by. Plankton:  Gasp!  Hopping Hamburger Stands! I gotta go home and get my wallet! Squidward: It's not even my restaurant and somehow I regret that decision... Mr. Krabs: Hey! Now quit your worrying back there! With the success we're about to have, we'll be able to buy ten Krusty Krabs! Squidward: A one! And a two! And a one, two, three, four!  Thank you! Thank you very much!  Oh come on! Nothing!? Mr. Krabs: What a happy celebration! Dwight T. Wad: I most certainly agree! Mr. Krabs: Thank you, Mr......Supermarker Manager. Dwight T. Wad: Here you go! Mr. Krabs: What's this? Our pay check? Dwight T. Wad: Nope! It's a bill! Mr. Krabs: What? Squidward: You're kidding me, right!? We're performing at a retirement home!? Mr. Krabs: Oh, don't worry, Squidward! These geezers really know how to party! Squidward:  Oh, yeah...they got one foot in the rave. Heh heh...reaper jerks! Squidward: Two, three, four!  Two, three, four! Elderly Fish: Too loud! You're playing too loud!","Sorry, sir."
"Squidward:  Okay, two, three, four... Elderly Fish: Too loud! Still too loud!  Still too loud!  Too loud!  Too loud!  Too...loud! Squidward: Supermarket openings, retirement homes! What's next a child's birthday party!  This is our worse gig yet: Children parties! Well, if this is the way this tour is being organized, then I would like to... Owww!  I am not a donkey-fish! Squidward:  Mr. Krabs, how much farther is it to the next town? Mr. Krabs:  Uh...not too much farther, Squidward! Uh...oh, in fact, we're just entering it now! Squidward: Well, if this concert is anywhere near terrible as the other ones, then it's gonna be my last!  What the...Electronics Outhouse!? Goodbye! Mr. Krabs: This ain't our next concert! Squidward: Well, then, where is it!? Mr. Krabs: It's uh...uh...um... Well, it's right over there obviously!  I'll just leave the three of you right here to set up! I got some important tour management business to attend to, you know! Squidward: Hold it! This better not be one of your tricks, Mr. Krabs! Band Member 1: Hey, look, man!  Ned and the Needlefish, Next Turn. Ned: Whoa...it's like a sign from....sign, man.  Wow...we have really moved down in the world.","Isn't this the most exciting experience in your entire life, Squidward?"
Squidward: Yeah. I've never thought I get to perform for so many fans!,Oh? Are there people showing up?
"Squidward: Isn't that... what you we’re talking about?  Ah, just soak on in, Squiddy, old boy! Pretty invigorating, isn't it? Wait a minute... why are they chanting Ned and the Needlefish?","No, can't you hear them, Squidward? They're saying “Squidward and SpongeBob! Squidward and SpongeBob! Squidward and SpongeBob! Squidward...”"
"Harold: That does not look like Ned and the Needlefish! Squidward: Wait! I know what you came here for!  Well? Harold: Chase 'em off stage! Squidward: Uh oh... Ned: Yeah! Man: Excuse me? Could on of you show me how to use this multimeter? Ned: Uh...he probably can... Man: Thanks. Colonel Carper:  Mr. Krabs! Mr. Krabs:  Do I know you? Colonel Carper:  Colonel Carper! Mr. Krabs: Were we in the Navy together? Colonel Carper: No, we were not! Mr. Krabs: Phew, that's good! 'Cause for a second there, I thought that we maybe... Colonel Carper: ...Your shenanigans, sir are at an end! Oh yes! And you will be receiving a friendly little phone call from my attorney! Because I am suing you for every last dime! Mr. Krabs: Wait a minute! Where'd you think you're going with your own equipment!? Patrick: Hey, thanks again, fellas! Nice guys like them don't come around much these days. They even redecorated the tour busmobile for us!",Mr. Krabs!
"'Mr. Krabs: How'd the show go, boy?","Oh, the crowd went wild, sir!"
"Squidward: In fact, they're still going wild... Mr. Krabs: Quick! On the bus! Squidward: Well, that wasn't a complete waste of time... Oh no wait, it was. Mr. Krabs:  Now I'll never get me ol' Krusty Krab out of pawn!",Mr. Krabs!
"Mr. Krabs: Good news, boys! We only sustained a flat tire! Patrick, go get the spare lad! Patrick: Uh...oh! Yeah, I can't. Squidward: What do you mean you can't? Patrick: Well... Squidward: No no! Wait! Let me guess: You ate the spare tire? Patrick: Wow...you're good at guessing...","Patrick, why didn't you just ask me?  You know I always bring tiny, snack size tires for in-between meals! You know, I'm kinda hungry now actually.  Hmm...Squidward? They're fat free!"
"Squidward: Mr. Krabs, I'd like some money for cab fair. Mr. Krabs: But, Mr. Squidward! Squidward: But nothing. I'm going home. Now put some cash in my hands so I... Mr. Krabs:  But I don't have any money, lad! Not even a nickel! It's all gone! Me Krusty Krab is gone! Squidward:  Forget it! I'll just walk!",Wait! Squidward! Squidward! You can't go! Please! Don't you see? The Krusty Krab needs us more than ever!
Squidward: I could care less what the Krusty Krab needs!  Now get out of my way!  Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow...,Squidward! Are you okay?
Squidward: Get your hands off me!  Ow!,Squidward?
Squidward: Don't...,♪ Squidward...you must look inward. And then I'm sure that you will see what an awesome band we still could be! Please! Oh please don't quit on us now! I cannot allow this to be our last bow! Now now now! No no no! Nay nay nay! Neh neh neh! NEEEEVER give up! Don't ever give up! We can't let Mr. Krabs go bankrupt! We must keep busy! Never giving up! ♪
"Squidward: ♪ How did I not see this plan was a failure from the start? Being around SpongeBob is bad for my heart! And that's not even the worse part! Supermarkets, retirement homes, birthday parties for kids! My career in music really feels like it has hit the skids! I give up! There is no point! I give up! Mr. Krabs will have to go bankrupt while I'm busy, bittering giving up! ♪",♪ Don't you see? Mr. Krabs needs us terribly! We got it in us to be a huge success! You and I can't settle for less! I promise myself not to shed this tear! ♪
Squidward: ♪ It's getting really cold out here and I'm four hundred miles from home it will appear! And my feet are hurting oh dear I fear this tentacle-itis is pretty severe! ♪ Squidward's Foot: ♪ Wah-wah-wah-wah-wah! ♪ Squidward: ♪ I should probably give up! On this giving up today! This is the part I turn around and play! ♪,♪ This is the part where I stand up and play! ♪
"SpongeBob and Squidward: ♪ Take a deep breath in an emotional way! 'Cause with my instrument is how I say! ♪ Squidward: Wow! That was actually, kinda good! Harold: Amazing! Male Fish: Fantastic! Mr. Krabs: Unbelievable! They actually gathered a crowd! To think that all of these people came out to the middle of the desert to see Squidward and SpongeBob! Patrick: Or...they came to see the meteor shower that passes through the Aurora Borealis generating a stunning, once-in-a-lifetime light show. Crowd:  Oh....ah.... Mr. Krabs:  Thank you! Come again, please!  He he he!",Look! It's Mr. Krabs! Squidward and I just performed for an crowd of adoring fans!
"Mr. Krabs: That's nice! I just made more money than I know what to do with! Squidward: Well, it looks like they could help you figure it out... Mr. Krabs: Who?  Get Paid Back from Mr. Krabs Line starts here... Narrator: One long angry line later... Colonel Carper: Well, well, well! It looks like this is the end of the line for you! Both literally and figuratively! Hah! Hah! Hah! Mr. Krabs: Why'd I owe you money for!? Colonel Carper: Well, let's see: How about damaged sound equipment, loss revenue, and JUST BECAUSE! Mr. Krabs: I don't owe you a nickel! Colonel Carper: No! You owe me a million nickels! Roadies! It's collecting time! Mr. Krabs: Collecting time? Colonel Carper:  Yeah! AH HA! Okay boys! Our work here is done! Mr. Krabs:  Well, Krusty Krab, this is goodbye... Why!? Why!?","Don't cry, Mr. Krabs. Here!  You can have the money for Gary's college fund if that would... help."
"Mr. Krabs:  Well, SpongeBob! You ready to get back to doing what we do best?",I'm ready!
"Mr. Krabs: That's me boy! Plankton:  Hello, sir! I'd like to purchase the Krusty Krab restaurant you have in your...where is it? Pawn Shop Owner: Oh, sorry, sir! I just sold it a minute ago. But we do have this slightly used Taco Stand for sale. Patrick:  Uhh. Such a tired day at the office.  Boy, am I famished. I sure wish I knew the best restaurant in Bikini Bottom.  From where has this glorious scent come? Squidward:  Hark, the odor you seek is before you. Mr. Krabs:  At the Krusty Krab, where the tastiest sandwich in the seas is grilled to perfection by our expert fry cook.  And served with a smile by our friendly waiter.","Uhh, Patrick gobbles down the patties. Nom nom nom nom nom."
Mr. Krabs: Wait a minute. Why am I dressed in a leotard?,"Oh, cause you're the mascot."
"Mr. Krabs: Nah, I don't think so!  We need a gimmic that's nothing short of a masterpiece.","Oh, I know! Win a date with Squidward Tuesdays!"
"Squidward: Oh, for dolphins sakes! Do tell what's troubling you so!",Mr. Krabs doesn't think my ideas are helping.
Squidward: Shocking.,I just want to help him find the perfect Krabby Patty gimic.
Squidward: Sounds like you'd better stop bothering me and put on your thinking cap.,"Great idea, Squidward!"
"Squidward: That'll keep him out of my hair.  Of course, he actually has one.  To each, his own. Fiasco: Mustard! Squidward: Yes, your freakishness. Fiasco:  Like our own fleeting existence, an untimely end has come upon this Krabby value meal. Squidward: Good riddance.  What's this? Something's familiar about those ketchup swirls.  Sweet Neptune! Could that have been... Mr. Krabs: Yeah, yeah enough dilly-dallying. Now, help me with the garbage Mr. Squidward. Squidward: That's not garbage, it's a Fiasco! Mr. Krabs: Ok, let's not overdo it. Squidward: No, no, no, you don't get it! It's the work of Fiasco the artist!  He was featured in last month's Art Wonk magazine! Mr. Krabs:  Heh, you call this art? Looks like a swappy's footlocker. Squidward: It all makes sense now! The dark denim, the dismal statements, the extensive use of red and yellow! This is directly out of his early abstract experiments!","Ohh, what is this?"
"Squidward:  This is an authentic Fiasco! Customers: A Fiasco?  Ooh! Dave: An original Fiasco, you say? Gus: He's one of the famous picture-drawing artistes! Nancy-Suzy Fish: Just look at his audacious use of pickle in this piece. Jimmy Gus:  What's your asking price? Squidward: Oh, it's simply not for sale, not even for a million dollars. Mr. Krabs: Hold it!   I'll take a million for it. Squidward:  It's not yours to sell! I found it! Mr. Krabs: Me plate, me buns, me mustard,  me Fiasco. Squidward: You tried to throw it away!  It's mine! Farfel Bainbridge: Let's not be hasty. It belongs to…neither of you. Farfel Bainbridge: Curator of the Bikini Bottom Art Museum. We curators have a way of sniffing these things out.   It's authentic! Aahh! Which makes this a national treasure!  And for preservation, it must be hermetically sealed!  And guarded by Bikini Bottom's finest! Officer John: Ready for duty, sir! Mr. Krabs: Great idea, Farkle. Gotta protect me valuable property. Farfel Bainbridge: Well, technically, it doesn't belong to you, it belongs to the people of Bikini Bottom. Unfortunately, they'll have to set foot in this grease-trap to get a look at this great piece of art. Mr. Krabs: Oh, so now you're a restaurant critic.  Step up! Step up for your free glimpse at the Fiasco masterpiece!  Alright, you've had your look. Now hold up your end of the bargain! Frankie Billy: Two Krabby Patties, please. Mr. Krabs: Each! Plankton:  So, what have you got for me today, huh?  No Krabby Patty in sight.  What? What's this? Looks like a chewed-up Krabby Patty. A perfect sample from which to reverse engineer a whole Krabby Patty!  Thanks, Eugene. You just made my job a whole lot easier. Mr. Krabs:  I know that scream anywhere! It's me profits dying!  Stop that thief! Plankton: Don't worry, Krabs! I'm just taking out the trash for ya! Mr. Krabs: Stop thief! Plankton: Heh, heh, heh, that was almost too easy. Plankton old boy, you're home-free! Officer John: Stop thief! Plankton: Ahh!  What's with the police?! It's just a bag of garbage!  What's going on? Female movie character: How long do you think we'll be here? Male movie character: I don't know. But my stomach feels all tingly. Female movie character: Mine does too. Officer Rob: Hey you! Yeah, you in the chair! Officer John: Don't move! Plankton:  Achoo!  Blasted pollen allergies!  Ahh, I should be safe in space. Officer John: Stop thief! Plankton: You gotta be kidding me!  Hello? Hello?  Open up!  Open up! Patrick:  Do you mind? Some of us have nothing to do tomorrow morning! Plankton: Wait, what?  Hey, keep your hands where I can see em'!  Ok you two, against the wall!  That's it. Nice and slow.  You gotta help me! Ever since I left the Krusty Krab, I've had all kinds of heat on me! It's so bizarre! Normally, when I steal something from the Krusty Krab, it's Krabs who chases me not a bunch of cops. So if you know what's going on, start talking or else you're gonna answer with the spoon, see!","I-I can explain. That partially eaten Krabby Patty isn't just garbage, it's a work of art. It's worth a fortune."
Plankton: Really?,So you see why Mr. Krabs is trying to get it back.
Plankton: Interesting. It appears I've won more than I bargained for.,"Plankton, you've stolen a priceless work of art. There's only one thing you can do."
Plankton: You mean hold onto it until it's really worth something?,"No, you need to turn yourself in."
"Plankton: Turn myself-What?! If I go down, we all go down! You're harboring an art thief!",Who's that?
"Plankton: Me, you imbecile!",What?
"Plankton: Not only that, you're an accomplice to the crime, yeah.",Really?
"Plankton: And not only that, but Gary's an accomplice too! Gary: Meow?",Now you've gone too far!
"Plankton: No, you have! Criminal Accomplice!",I can't believe you're calling me that!
"Plankton: Believe it, Man Boy! Patrick:  Hey! What did I tell you before? I'm trying to get some shuteye!","Patrick, what are you eating?"
Patrick: The hors d'oeuvres you left on the table.  Not bad.,Now Patrick is harboring stolen merchandise in his belly!
"Plankton: Ohh, he's an accomplice too! Squidward:  Here they are, Officers! These idiots have been causing a ruckus. Interrupting my beauty sleep. Officer John: Well, well, well. If it isn't the art thief himself. Drop the spoon.  You're all under arrest until we figure this out. Squidward: But what do you mean all?  I'm not under arrest! I..I..I..uhh.. These are idiots! They're causing a ruckus! I..I want sleep! Officer John:  Thanks for clearing this whole mess up, Mr. Krabs. Mr. Krabs: Of course, Officer. Heh, can't let me fry cook rot in this place. It'll ruin me business! Especially, now that the Fiasco's finito!","Mr. Krabs, I think I have the solution."
Mr. Krabs: Thanks very much. Enjoy the show. You sure saved the day boy-yo.,"My pleasure, sir. And I think Patrick likes it too."
"Patrick:  X-rays tickle. Fiasco: Such artistic genius!  I'll never paint again! Squidward:  Hey, don't I get a phone call? Mr. Krabs:  SpongeBob!  SpongeBob!","Oh, boy! Road trip!  I hope it lasts forever."
Mr. Krabs: And we're here.,Old Man Jenkins' farm?
"Old Man Jenkins: Trespassers! Mr. Krabs: Whoa there, Jenkins!  Pull in your plow! I'm here to pay me grocery bill.  Jenkins here supplies all the Krusty Krab's farm fresh ingredients.",Ooh.  Yoo-hoo! Whee!
"Old Man Jenkins: And I expect to be paid for them. Mr. Krabs: Well, funny you should mention that.  SpongeBob here will be your farm hand until me bill's paid off.","Farm hand! Oh, boy!"
"Old Man Jenkins: Dagnabbit! If you think you can— Mr. Krabs: Oh, look at the time. Gotta go! Hey, boy-o!  This should help you with your work!",Huh? Potatoes?
Patrick: Pat-tatoes!,"Oh, boy! We can be farming buddies."
"Old Man Jenkins: Now hold on there, youngin'. I can't just let any dern fools work on my farm.","Oh, we're not just any dern fools."
"Patrick: We're certified fools. Old Man Jenkins: Hm….Well, better hitch up your britches. 'Cause we got tons of chores to get done before the big barn dance tonight!","Oh, boy. What's first?"
Old Man Jenkins: First thing we do is gatherin' pearly eggs from this oyster coop here. The trick is getting them oysters to open up their clams.  Coochie coochie coo.,"Ooh, shiny."
"Patrick: Ooh, aww. Old Man Jenkins:  I'll be back in two shakes of a lamprey's tail to see how you're coming along.","Uh, coochie coo-coochie…"
Oyster:  Uh-uh.,"Okay, that didn't work."
"Patrick: SpongeBob, you gotta be more gentle.",Patrick!
"Old Man Jenkins: Why, you ain't gathered up a single egg!","Well, that was egg-citing."
Old Man Jenkins: The next chore is to feed the worm hogs. Patrick:  Mmm. Slop.,"Aww. Are you hingry-wungry cutie-wuite hoggy-woggy?  That tickles. Uh, could somebody hand me those?"
"Old Man Jenkins: Now, you be gentle when you milk ol' Bessie.",Don't you worry. I'll take it easy peasy on the old jelly squeezy.
"Old Man Jenkins: What in tarnation— Patrick: Mmm, a Jenkin Jelly sandwich! Old Man Jenkins: Your final chore is harvesting my kelp patch.","Ha, this will be a snap."
Old Man Jenkins: Not that patch. That one!,That'll take forever!
Old Man Jenkins: Not if you use my tractor.,But I don't have a tractor license.
"Patrick: I got lots of licenses.  Driver's license, fishing license, marriage license. Oh, here it is! Tractor license!","Wow, Patrick. You're really good at this."
"Patrick: The secret is to stay cool as a sea cucumber. I don't want anything to distract— A bee!  Jellybee!  Get it off, get it off, get it off!","Hold on, buddy.  I got it.  Hyah!  Whoops.  Got it."
Patrick: Yay! Don't let it go.,"Hey, this is fun. Whoo-hoo! Did I bail out too soon?  Oh, boy! Our chores are all done. It's time for the..."
SpongeBob and Patrick: Barn dance! Old Man Jenkins: How can I have a barn dance with no barn?,Don't you worry your little wrinkly head. 'Cause we're gonna have an old fashioned barn raising.
"Patrick: Aww, wee, wee, wee.  Coochie coochie coo. SpongeBob and Patrick: Aww.",'A' is for Amoeba. 'B' is for Blobfish.
Old Man Jenkins' house: Oh! You dang kids!,Congratulations on your barn-mitzvah. Today you are a man-barn.
Patrick: Mazel tov!,"Aw, they grow up so fast. Perfect!  Hey, Patrick. You know what time it is?"
Patrick:  Time to put on my ham boots?,Nope! It's time to...
SpongeBob and Patrick: Partay!  Hmm? Patrick: Where is everybody?,"When are your other guests coming, Old Man Jenkins?"
Old Man Jenkins:  Hmm?  What do you mean? This is the biggest turnout I've ever had!,"Oh, I think the party's over."
"Farmer alien: Over? Why, it's just getting started.",How did you guys know about the barn dance?
"Farmer alien: Well, we seen your invitation.",Invitation? What invitation? Hmm? Wow.
Farmer alien: Barn dance and hoedown tonight. Aliens welcome.,"Patrick, your crazy tractor driving invited them!"
"Patrick:  I have a crop circle license too. Farmer alien: Thank you kindly for inviting us, old timer. Well, we're off to destroy the universe. Other farmer aliens: Yee-haw! Old Man Jenkins:  Y'all come back and invade any time.",Annihilate safely.
"Farmer aliens:  Yee-haw! Mr. Krabs: Hey-ho, Jenkins! Has SpongeBob worked off me bill yet? Old Man Jenkins:  You're all paid off, Krabs.  Now come back and visit anytime, SpongeBob. SpongeBob and Patrick: Bye, Old Man Jenkins!","Then we gathered pearly eggs, fed the worm hogs, milked Bessie, and then we met some nice space aliens."
"Mr. Krabs: Aliens? That's ridiculous. I think you've been working too hard, boy-o. Looks like you got farm stroke. You must have been hallucinating. There ain't no such thing as UFOs.","Gee, you think we just imagined it?"
"Mr. Krabs: Yeah, probably— A UFO!","Don't worry, Mr. Krabs, there is no such thing as aliens."
Patrick: Watch this.,Mmm-hey!
Sandy: Hey!,Hey!
Sandy: Hey!,Hey!
"Sandy: Hey! Sandy: Hiyah, hiyah! Hiyah!"," Isn't it a little early for autumn, Sandy?"
"Patrick: Yeah, it's only, um...  June o'clock. Sandy: It ain't autumn!   Oh, my tree is dying! Patrick:  Good, we can use the wood. Sandy: Patrick, stop! I can save it with science. Patrick: Okay. Hmm. Sandy: Sandy: Acorn: Feed me! Sandy: Jumpin' beans on a trampoline! You're starvin'! I got to make you the best fertilizer known to critter-kind! Sandy:     Ah, growth pills.  Hi!  Nuts.  Ah-ha!  Yee-haw! Sandy:  Aw, I hope this is the pick-me-up you needed ole' girl.  Well, kiss my grits! This here's the biggest acorn I ever did see!  And so are those! I'd better start storing these for winter.  I might need an alternate storage solution. Sandy: Hey there, SpongeBob? Could you swing by my place? Sandy: I love squirreling away nuts, but this is just too much!",I'd say you've certainly got a real nutmare on your hands.
Sandy: Just dump these somewhere! I'm gonna put more under my bed.,"Yes, ma'am!"
Shalmon:  Stop!,Whoa. Who are you?
Shalmon:  I am the spirit guide of the salmon people! I am the Shalmon!,"Oh, hey there, Shalmon. Uh, my name is SpongeBob."
"Shalmon: Why do you dump your nuts on my people's land, SpongeBob?","Oh, they're not mine. They're my friend, Sandy's."
Shalmon: Allow me to give you some sage advice. You must not squander nature's bounty. Nuts are meant to be eatin'.  It's all in my book.,Meant to be eatin' eh?
"Shalmon: Of course! The earth provides our food and we must care for her in return.  It's all about balance, my friend. Look at my garden.",Wow. It's coming in great.
Shalmon:  Over there!,Even better!
Sandy: So some Shalmon guy told you people would want to eat my nuts and you believe it?,Uh huh. Uh huh. Surely the Shalmon isn't a sham.
Sandy: Shertainly not! I mean certainly not!  Let's see what we can cook up. Aged Nut Brie. Ghost Nut Chili. How 'bout Nutty Butter? Seems easy enough to make. Sandy: Woo-hoo! That's delicious!,Wow! Patrick would wanna try this.
"Patrick:  Try what? Sandy: Patrick, that Nutty Butter is for eating. Patrick: I know.  Ow!  Ow!  Ow! Sandy: Hmm. Why don't you boys take some for the road? SpongeBob and Patrick: Thanks! Patrick: Can I have some more?  It's hard to eat off this side of me. Sandy: Sure, Patrick! Here's the last of it! Patrick: Thanks, Sandy! Sandy: There. Everything is back to normal.  What in tarnation? Patrick: Hey, Sandy! Sandy: Patrick, what's going on here? Patrick: I want more Nutty Butter. Sandy: Who are all these people? Patrick: Oh.  They licked the Nutty Butter off my back.  And now they're here for more. Sandy: Aw, gosh Patrick. I don't have enough to feed everyone. Abigail Marge: But it's the only thing my boy will eat! Archie: Guess I'll have to go to bed hungry again. Sandy: Well, I don't want to let anyone down. I can make some more acorns! Sandy: Making everyone's day with my Nutty Butter really gives me the warm and tinglies! Patrick: Uh huh. Sandy: In fact, demands have been so high, I scienced up a way to increase my production. Sandy: SpongeBob, here, scoops acorns onto my conveyor belt.  Then the tubes take them inside  where I turn them into Nutty Butter.","Sandy, according to the Shalmon's book, we shouldn't try to force nature to give us more than she's able."
"Sandy: Don't worry about my tree, SpongeBob. Worry about the crowd of Nutty Butter fans outside. Crowd: We want Nutty Butter! We want Nutty Butter! Sandy: We're gonna need a lot more acorns to feed them all.","Uh oh. Sandy's tree's not lookin' so good. I don't think it can take much more of this, Patrick."
"Patrick: Uh. Well, it's like Sandy said, Something, something, something, science. And who are we to argue with science?",Oh no! The nuts stopped!
Patrick: Hold on! I got this!,"Oh no! Patrick, we have to do something! Sandy'll never forgive us if we ruined her tree!"
"Patrick: And I'll never forgive her if she runs out of Nutty Butter! Sandy: Please, please no pushing! I'll make more! Remember, Sandy's the squirrel you can count on! Sandy: Oh no! What in the Sam Hill is goin' on around here?",The tree got real sick!
Patrick: Don't worry. I made more Nutty Butter with the rest of the nuts. Sandy: You used all the nuts? Jumpin' Jiminy! Time for another dose of fertilizer!,"Sandy, wait! I don't think that's what your tree needs!"
Shalmon:  The boy is right! Why do you hurt your tree? The tree would never hurt you.  Ouch! Dang splinters!,Shalmon?
"Sandy: Wait, you're the one who said I should feed my nuts to the people? Shalmon: Indeed. But to feed so many from a single tree... Let me share with you a story. Long ago, before fish walked the seas, there lived in the sky one sun. Sun: Shalmon: One star. Star: Hello! Shalmon: And one moon. Moon: What the? Shalmon: During the day, the star would play with the sun. Shalmon: At night, the star would play with the moon. Moon: Get away from me! Shalmon: The star did not want to let his friends down. But he alone could not keep up with both the sun and the moon. Moon: Finally. Some peace. Shalmon: That is when the star had an idea. Moon: Hmm? Hmm? Ahh!  Oh no. There goes the neighborhood. Shalmon: By creating many copies, the star was able to keep the sun and moon happy without wearing himself out. Do you understand why I tell you this tale? Shalmon: Hello? Wake up! Patrick:  I didn't know there was gonna be a test! Sandy: Oh, I got so wrapped up in not letting anyone down that I asked too much of my tree and my friends. Shalmon: Perhaps with many trees, you can continue serving your community in a natural and sustainable manner.  I mean pretty much anything is better than this mess! Yeesh! Sandy: Thanks, Shammy. But I'm a one tree kind of squirrel. I'm gonna do what I should've done in the first place. Order the ole' girl some nutritious new dirt from Texas! Shalmon: Well, my work here is done. It's time I return to my people. Shalmon: Let me offer some sage advice. You must listen to the earth and the stars, for only they can guide you!... To my stop at the corner of Olive and Victory. Nat Peterson: Sir, stand behind the white line please. Shalmon: Typical. It never ends! Narrator: It is a cold and windy day, and Bikini Bottom is covered with goosebumps. Squidward: Oh, it's freezing in here!","Not if you get up and exercise! Hut, two. Hut, two. Yes, sir. My buns are nice and toasty."
"Squidward: I'm so glad I don't eat here.  Oh, how cold does Krabs keep this place, anyway?  62 degrees?! Oh, that cheapskate! I'm going to set it to a toasty 63.  Huh? Mr. Krabs:  WHO TOUCHED ME THERMOSTAT?!?!?! Squidward:  Oh, thanks a--","You're welcome, Squidward."
"Mr. Krabs: Mr. Squidward, you're always going on about your book club. Read this. Squidward:  Do not touch thermostat ever. Mr. Krabs: Heat costs money! There are two ways to get on my bad side, boys. I don't like kids playing in me yard, and nobody but me touches me thermostat! Squidward: That's totally selfish!",Yeah! Your yard is really fun! There are kids playing on it right now!
"Mr. Krabs: What?!  Hey, you kids get off of my lawn! Plankton: That's right. Run, Krabs. For I have found your Achilles heel. I'll freeze you out of business and I'll do it with your precious thermostat!  What the--? Oh, no! Code red! Abandon ship!! Abandon ship!  No matter. In four to six hours, I will have my revenge. Squidward: I'm going to go recover from hypothermia.",Hippo what-ia? What does that mean?
"Mr. Krabs: It means he's a big fat crybaby. Old Man Jenkins:  Locked in again. Plankton: That crusty old barnacle might keep me from the secret formula, but I'd like to see him serve a Krabby Patty when I'm done with this place.  Into every life, a little rain must fall, Krabs! It's just business.  Well, maybe it is personal.  I'm touching your thermostat! I'm touching your thermostat! Mr. Krabs: Someone—touching—thermostat. Squidward: I might need to bring a sweater. It's colder than yesterday.","That's why I wore mittens.  Mm, toasty!"
"Squidward: Huh? Mr. Krabs: Morning, boys!  Lock's a bit sticky this morning.  Is it cold in here, or is it just me? Well, get to work. Squidward: What?","Aye, aye, Mr. Krabs!  Pardon me!"
"Mr. Krabs: All right, quit clowning around and get to work.","Yes, sir!"
"Squidward: As long as you turn the heat up! Mr. Krabs:  The temperature stays at 62 degrees. Squidward: There's icicles hanging from the ceiling! Mr. Krabs: I don't care if Santie Claus and Jack Frost are having ice cream cones! Don't... touch... THE THERMOSTAT! Plankton:  I knew you'd be too stubborn to turn the heat up. Let's see how long you keep those customers when you give them the cold shoulder. Mr. Krabs: Quit your lollygagging and get a move on! Squidward:  Order up. Martin: Let's get out of here. Plankton: Yes, flee that frozen wasteland! Warmth and joy have left your lives!  Hey, buddy, you want to eat at The Chum Bucket?  Fine! At least Krabs' place is deserted. Hey! The customers are coming back!  I don't understand! What's bringing them back?  What the--?! Mr. Krabs: Just put those patties back when you're done!","Can do, Mr. Krabs!"
Squidward: I'm really glad I don't eat here.,Order up!
Frankie: Where's my food?  Mm. Old Man Jenkins: I want my Krabby Flabby!,"Coming right up, sir!"
"Old Man Jenkins: Delicious! Abigail Marge:  Wow, that looks like fun. I'll have two Krabby Patties, but don't cook them. Jimmy: I'll have two frozen Krabby Patties, too.","Yes, sir!"
"Clay: I want Patty skates! Man: I need two patties, now! Mr. Krabs: It's beautiful. I'm selling twice as many patties and I don't even have to cook 'em! This is the happiest, and most cost-effective day of me whole life. Plankton: NOOOO!!! How is this possible?! I freeze his place solid and he turns it into an ice rink! He's making more money than ever! Karen: That's because, unlike you, he's a good businessman. Plankton: Well, if it isn't the wind beneath my wings. Karen: I don't understand why you don't just steal a Krabby Patty in all that confusion. Plankton: I'll be right back. Karen: I don't know why I encourage him. Mr. Krabs: This is fantastic! The local hockey team is paying me to practice here!","Coming through!  Hi, Patrick!"
"Patrick:  Hi, SpongeBob. Hockey Player #1: Where'd the puck go?",Holy shrimp! Plankton!
Plankton: I did it! I finally got a Krabby Patty!,"Not quite, Plankton. You'll have to get past me first."
Hockey Player #1: There's the puck! That little square guy has it! Hockey Player #2: Get him!,"You're mine now, Plankton!  You won't get away with this, Plankton!"
"Plankton: Hey, SpongeBob. long time, no see. What've you been up to? How was your weekend?","Oh, my weekend was fabulous! Thank you for asking. Patrick and I went jellyfishing but I lost my net. So, I tried to borrow one from Squidward, but he didn't have one. And then when he yelled at me, he swallowed a bug!  Swallowed a bug."
"Plankton: Fascinating. Well, got to go.",Hey!
"Plankton: Better luck next time, SpongeBob! Hockey Player #3: There's the puck, eh? Get it! Plankton: Uh-oh.  Whoa!","Hold it right there, mister!"
Plankton: Yes! I'm gonna make it!,"Gotcha, Plankton!"
Plankton: On the contrary! It is I who has you!,The clamboni! Run for it!
"Plankton:  Run, you fools! Run!  It's working! I'm actually going to get a Krabby Patty!  Come on, get outta the way! You're blocking the exit!  Noooo! NOOOO! Mr. Krabs: I'll take that.  Brilliant idea to block the exit with your body, SpongeBob.","Um, thank you, Mr. Krabs."
"Mr. Krabs:  You lose again, Plankton! Plankton: I'm not giving up yet, Krabs. I've still got my secret weapon!  The thermostat! Mr. Krabs:  The thermostat? Plankton: That's right, Krabs. It was I who froze The Krusty Krab.  You see? Mr. Krabs:  You've gone too far this time, Plankton! You can pummel me employees,  try to destroy me restaurant, but nobody messes with me thermostat. Plankton: See, Krabs? You can't defeat me!","Here's your Krabby Patty and lemonade, Mr. Krabs."
"Mr. Krabs:  Thank you, lad.  Well, well, if it isn't Plankton. You know, I should thank you. What with the ice rink and now the swimming pool gimmick, I'm making more money than I ever did with the old Krusty Krab! Hey, you got any more good ideas? Plankton: Mr. Krabs: Now, we all know what this day is.","Today is the day when Plankton tries to steal the Krabby Patty formula, sir!"
"Squidward:  Like he does every day. Mr. Krabs: But this time, he's not going to catch me with me spatula down!  Ooh?  SpongeBob, you're on guard duty, boy!","Yes, sir, Mr. Krabs!"
Squidward: And I'll go undercover.,"Hup, two, three, four! Hup, two, three, four! ♪Krabby Patties are the best! They'll put hair on your chest!♪"
Female customer:  Oh! French Narrator: Three hours later...,♪Krabby Patties are the best... They'll put hairs...into your nest♪
Squidward: Ow. Mr. Krabs:  Any sign of Plankton?,"Uh, afraid not, Mr. Krabs."
"Squidward: Maybe he's on vacation. Mr. Krabs: Don't be silly! We always take our trips together,  to keep an eye on each other. What's taking that crook so long?  Hm... Maybe the door is stuck.  Ah, for—these customers are blocking the way!  There we go. Nice, open path.  Hm? Mm... Hey! Well, maybe he just needs a little incentive.  There we go.  Maybe he doesn't want me formula anymore.  He took the bait! We're going to red alert!  Batten down the hatches! Furl the deck! Stop that greedy green goober! Squidward:  Ow. Patrick: Doggone it!  Can I get some ketchup over here? Please? Mr. Krabs: False alarm. Whistle:  Closing time! Mr. Krabs: And just where do you think you two are going? Squidward:  It's customary to go home at closing time.","Aren't you going home, Mr. Krabs?"
"Mr. Krabs:  Oh, I'm not budging. Plankton is gonna try something. I don't know when. I don't know where. Squidward: Probably...here. Mr. Krabs: Well, yeah. But when he does, I'll be waiting for him. Mr. Krabs: I'll be waiting right here. French Narrator: The next morning...",Morning! Hm?  I guess Mr. Krabs went home after all.
"Mr. Krabs: No, I'm still here...  Waiting for that blasted Plankton! Customer: Yeah, I'll take— Mr. Krabs:  Me patty formula?! Huh? I knew it! You in there, Plankton?!","Mr. Krabs, that's not Plankton!"
"Customer:  I will never set foot in this establishment again!  From now on, I'm using the drive-thru! Mr. Krabs: Aha! Trying to sneak a Krabby Patty to Plankton, eh? Mrs. Puff: But, Eugene, it's just a to-go order. Mr. Krabs:  Well, from now on, all patties are to be eaten on the premises! Squidward: What are you gonna do now, ban pockets? Mr. Krabs: Capital idea, Mr. Squidward. Mr. Krabs: There'll be a $50-a-barrel surcharge from now on!  Whoa, hey, slow down there, Grandpa. Let me see here.  Aha! Another one of Plankton's spies! Old Man Walker:  I just wanted some for later. Mr. Krabs:  You're banned!  Hm... So Plankton's recruiting baby burglars now!  Put a cork in it!  You're banned!  You! You're banned! You're banned! Banned!  Banned!  You're all banned!","Mr. Krabs, I don't think Plankton's coming."
Mr. Krabs: Nonsense!  See? It's that stinker Plankton now! What do you want? Sandy:  Uh...A Krabby Patty? Mr. Krabs: Why? Sandy:  I'm hungry.,"Mr. Krabs, that's just Sandy."
Mr. Krabs:  I'm not falling for it.  That's the worst squirrel suit I've ever seen.,Do you think Mr. Krabs is acting...strange?
Squidward: He seems fine to me.,Maybe we should postpone our plans for tonight.
"Mr. Krabs: Plans?! Aha! You're both working for Plankton! Get out of me restaurant you tricky treacherous traitors! Mr. Krabs: I know you're in here, Plankton. Where are you hiding? Plankton:  I'm right here...  at the Chum Bucket! Come on down and try our new Chum Nuggets. Mr. Krabs: Heh.  Whew.  Oh.  Just a—just a cup. Mr. Krabs:  Get ahold of yourself. Get ahold of yourself.  I'm starting to see things. Mr. Krabs: Huh?  Those two are working for Plankton! Pearl:  Ow. Mr. Krabs: Me own daughter?  Oh, not Old Man Jenkins!  Everyone really is out to get you. Aren't they, my little formula?",Mr. Krabs? You have got to come with me to... the Chum Bucket for Plankton has kidnapped Squidward.
"Mr. Krabs: Oh, so that's Plankton's evil plan? He wants me formula as ransom! What do we do? What? What's that?  Oh, that's just brilliant! Hold on a minute. I'll go get the ransom.  Oh, you want a Krabby Patty, do you? Well, I'll give you a Krabby Patty.  Okay, let's go rescue Squidward. Plankton:  Surprised, Krabs? Mr. Krabs: Not at all, Sheldon. I knew you were up to something. Plankton: Oh, yeah? How about now? Everyone: Surprise! Plankton: Oh, come, Krabs. It's the anniversary of the first time I tried to steal your Krabby Patty formula!","So, we threw you a surprise party."
Mr. Krabs:  You mean you weren't working for Plankton?!,"Of course not, Mr. Krabs."
"Mr. Krabs:  Oh, I shouldn't have suspected you, SpongeBob! Whew. Won't need these anymore. Patrick: Oh, boy, Krabby Patties! Sandy: Yee-haw! Mr. Krabs: No! Don't eat the patties!  Gotcha. Mr. Krabs: Whew.  Ah, tartar sauce! Mr. Krabs:  Yay. Squidward: A little help here!","Did you enjoy the surprise party, Mr. Krabs?"
"Mr. Krabs: Eh, I'll tell you in a second. Plankton:  Huh?  Ooh, that fool Krabs left the Krabby Patty formula behind!  Mommy.",Ooh.
"Mr. Krabs: Yes, boy-o. I enjoyed it very much.","Hey, Timmy! I've found your ball. And... Your sister."
Ryan Timmy's sister: Hi! Ryan Timmy and his sister:  Yeah!,"A thousand pardons, Sir Sea Tiger. And the elephant says...  Weee!!!  The giraffe goes...  And the baboon says...  And the zookeeper goes..."
"Zoo manager:  Can it with this, kid!  How many times do I have to tell you to stay out of the animal enclosures?! They are not pets! These are wild animals! And you can get  seriously injured.",These little cuties are dangerous?  Don't be silly.
Zoo manger:  That's it!,For me? Thanks!
"Zoo manager: Oh, it's not a gift, it's an ankle alarm! And the next time you try to sneak into the animal enclosures, it's gonna do this! Alarm: SpongeBob alert! SpongeBob alert! SpongeBob alert! Zoo manager: Get it?!",Got it.
"Zoo manager: Good! Zoo manager:  Oh, no, you don't! Zoo manager:  That's it! You are banned from the zoo! Get out! Out, I say!!!","Yes, sir. I'll go."
"Patrick:  Hold it! If he goes, I go!  And you can keep your dumb old peanuts!  Huh! Come on, SpongeBob. Zoo manager: And stay out! Patrick: Oh, that's it now. Let it all out.",I-I just want to pet the critters. Does that make me an animal?
Patrick: That mean old zookeeper!  He even looks like a monkey and he smells like one too!  You should just make your own zoo.,My own zoo? That's a laugh.  Ooh...  Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
SpongeBob and Patrick: Bubble zoo!,Voilà! Our first zoo animals.
"Patrick:  Oh, oh, I get to name 'em! Um, your name is Aspen.  Your name is Audrey!  And you're Debbie!  Aww, I forgot they're bubbles!",Don't be a dope. Try extra strength soap.
Patrick:  It works! It works! SpongeBob and Patrick:  It works! It works!,"Ooh, look at 'em, Patrick. So happy and healthy.  Oh, and look, Patrick! Bubble droppings!"
Patrick:  Bubble droppings?  I'm popping poops!  Hey!  But I was gonna eat those!,No more buts. We need more animals! Welcome to the Bubble Zoo! Where the price of admission is a smile.  Just a second you.  That's better.
"Patrick:  Hello, folks. Please leave all your sharp objects at the gate.  Okay, Grandpa. Spread 'em. Old Man Walker: Rascal.","Gather around, folks, and meet the animals! These wild bubble-phants never forget to have fun.  These bubble-raffes are necking. And they have the necks for it.  Ooh, time to feed the sea monsters.  Ooh! Alley-zoop!  Come and get it!"
"Patrick: Hi! Squidward:  ♪Oh, up from my nap,  getting my garden pants,  going out the door,  walking on the tongue,  that's a lot of teeth.♪  What's happening?!","Hey, Squidward! I see you're playing with my sea monsters. Isn't my bubble zoo fun?"
"Squidward: Get me out of here, you moron!","Okay.  Oh, Maggie.  Tickle, tickle. Let's put Squidward down.  Wow! Aww!"
"Squidward:  Blech! Patrick: And Squidward is reborn! Squidward: Now, wait just a darn second, I-  Uh-oh. SpongeBob and Patrick: Look out, Squidward! Fred: Run for your lives!","Squidward, don't forget to bring it back!  Nice bubble beasts. Uh, let's make you some more enclosures, huh?"
Patrick: Would now be a good time to talk about my hours?,"Stop those animals, Patrick! Go!"
"Patrick: Huh? Oh!  Stop animules!  Stop, stop, stop!  Huh?  But seriously, SpongeBob. Thursdays are out. Mr. Krabs:  Take me customers! Just don't hurt me money! Plankton: For hate's sake! I spit my last breath at thee! Karen: Don't be so dramatic. They're cute.  Wait! Wait! Patrick: Uh, SpongeBob, why are the animals making scary faces?","They've gone wild, Patrick! Wild!"
"Zoo manager:  Hey! This ain't no inferno! Get back in your enclosures right now! Zoo manager:  Or whenever you know I'm flexible. Patrick: SpongeBob, it's the zoo animals!",They must've heard my uvula! You guys saved our lives!
"Patrick: Thank you, animules! Zoo manager: And thank you, SpongeBob, for bringing my animals back. And I just love the new animals too.  You are welcome at the zoo anytime. I officially remove the ban.  There you go.","I promise you won't regret it, Mr. Zookeeper, sir.  I'm free again!  Weee!!  Good morning, Squidward!"
Squidward: Good morning.  It's a living.,"What's the matter, buddy? You seem so sad."
"Patrick:  Oh yeah, well uh, you know what's sad? This.",My hat is sad?
"Patrick: No! You have a special hat, which means you get to go to your special-happy-worky place. While I just stay...  bored all day. I want a special-happy-worky place, too!","First thing's first, Patrick. What do you like to do?"
Patrick: Uhhh...  Sand.,"Oof!  Ooh, I gotta run. I have patties to flip,  but I sure hope you figure your problem out. Think about it."
"Patrick: Think about it. Think, Patrick, think. Hmmmmm... hmmpphh!  Thinking is painful.  Break time. Nicholas Whithers: Are you irritable? Listless? Jobless? Have you ever asked yourself: I'm a loser. What am I doing with my life? Well, look no further. I have an answer that has helped millions- Announcer: Be all you can possibly be.  Join the Marine Dolphins. Man Ray: Muhahahahahahahaha!  Huh?  The inescapable display case!  Noooooooooo! Barnacle Boy:  All in a day's work, ehh, Mermaid Man? Mermaid Man: Remember: It's up to you  to reveal the true face of crime. Sign up to be part of the Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy Junior Crime Fighters. Patrick:  I gotta figure out what to do in my life.  Awww, I wish I was a superhero.  I know what I want to do with my life! To the changing room!   Ahhhhh.  At last I have found my calling. I am Patrick-Man: defender of Bikini Bottom! Mr. Krabs: Mr. Squidward, what's with all the dilly-dallyin'? We got customer's money  to take! Squidward: Where? Mr. Krabs:  Where is everybody? Patrick: Fear not, Patrick-Man is here. Mr. Krabs: Patrick! I knew our number one customer wouldn't let us down. Patrick: It's Patrick-Man, Mr. Krabs. Mr. Krabs: Patrick-Man? What kind of ridiculous name is that? Squidward: Oh, forget the name. Look at the ridiculous outfit. What is that? A pair of briefs?","Ooh! Blaring employee laughter in the common area?  Hey, Patrick, what's with the fancy duds?"
Patrick: Must I explain everything? I found what I want to do with my life! I am Patrick-Man!,"That is so exciting! I can't wait to tell Gary, my parents, grandpar-"
"Patrick: Shush, SpongeBob! My identity must be kept secret! My work here is done. Patrick-Man is off! The city needs my help!  Oh, I almost forgot, can I get a Krabby Patty? Fish 1: Hey, howdya do on your final? Fish 2:  I aced it. Fish 1:  Me, too. Fish 2: Looks like all the studying paid off. Fish teenagers: High five! Fish 2: Whoa, you okay. man? Patrick: Just remember this: Violence solves nothing! Fish 2: Violence? But we were just giving high fiv--. Patrick: No time for silly-talk, citizen. Patrick-Man is needed elsewhere! Mr. Krabs: Please, ma'am, allow me. Mabel: Huh?  Why, thank you, young man. Mr. Krabs: Hehehehe, not a problem, ma'am. It's the least I can doooooo!  Sorry, lady, you're on your own. Mabel: Oh, dear.   Oh, dear! Mr. Krabs: Oh, sweet dollar. Oh, just look at you. So clean. So crisp. Now come to Krabsy. Patrick: Halt! Patrick-Man is on to you! Thief! Stealing is bad! Bad! Mr. Krabs: But I found that dollar! Patrick: Nah, enough! This dollar shall stay on the sidewalk, where it belongs.  With Neptune's swiftness, away! Mabel:  Hey, a dollar!  This must be my lucky day. Patrick: Sounds like another job for Patrick-Man!  I'll finish you off later, day-old donuts. Right now, I must move rapidly and act heroically!  What's this?  Don't move, and freeze! Mrs. Puff: Huh? Patrick: Let's see you try to bust outta that, boat thief! Mrs. Puff: Boat thief? Heavens, no! My poor student is trapped inside this boat! The doors are jammed! Patrick: Jammed doors, huh?  A likely story. With Neptune's swiftness,  away! Mrs. Puff: Ah, merciful Neptune! The authorities are here. You'll be out of there in no time. Officer John Slugfish: Well, what do we have here?  Looks like Patrick-Man caught another one!  What would we do without superheroes? Mrs. Puff: But, I didn't do anything! Officer John Slugfish: Grand Theft Vessel is a felony. You remember what a felony is, don't you, Mrs. Puff? Mrs. Puff: Felony?! Yes, I...! Oh, ugh. Patrick-Man... Nat: Help?",Order up! Another Krabby Patty for the gentleman.
"Harold Reginald: Thank you. Let's hope Patrick-Man doesn't confiscate this one. Tina: Yeah! He drank my shake, too! Said it was part of an evil plot.","Eh, sorry, ma'am. I'll get you another. Patrick has taken things too far."
"Patrick: Hey, that's Patrick-Man to you.",What're you doing out there?
Patrick: Something a non-hero civilian would never understand.  I'm about to unmask one of Bikini Bottom's biggest foes! Right here in the Krusty Krab. And I've intercepted his evil schemes!,You've intercepted a recipe for toasted coral bits. Don't you think you're going a little overboard with this Patrick-Man thing?
"Patrick: Overboaaard?! You call this overboard?! Away with Neptune's  Swiftness!  Villains and criminals, beware!  Patrick-Man is here! Mabel: Good gracious. Patrick: And he always finds out who hides under the mask! Fred: Hey, man, I'd like to hold onto my face, thank you! Patrick: Oh, right.  Gotcha! Male Fish: Yeouch! Let's get out of here and never come back. Mr. Krabs: Whaaaaaaaat? Alright, that does it! Patrick: Admit it, masked marauder! Mr. Krabs: Enough!  We've all had our fill of Patrick-Man! Patrick: But I was about to unmask a supervillain! Mr. Krabs: Sure you were.  What the barnacles are you doing? Patrick: Protecting Bikini Bottom from a scoundrel! Mabel: Ohh, dear!","Let her go, Patrick!"
Patrick: No way!  Hey! Where'd he come from?,The Dirty Bubble?!
"Patrick: The Dirty Bubble? I wanted to unmask Man Ray. Dirty Bubble: Fools, you blew my cover! Now taste my wrath!","What now, Patrick?"
"Patrick: SpongeBob, you're looking at a superhero. So naturally, I will rely on my superpowers,  and throw some stuff! Dirty Bubble:  I wouldn't call that a total miss. Patrick: Take this, beast!","Wha, no, Patrick!"
"Dirty Bubble: Haha, yummy sponge. Mr. Krabs: You've disabled my employees and trashed me restaurant?! Think you might go for the Bubble now? Patrick: I've got him right where I want him. For the Pit Punch! Dirty Bubble: Ha! Let's try that again, but this time, I attack! Patrick: Lunch!","Way to go, buddy! You're a hero! Uh, may I have your autograph?"
"Patrick: Why, of course, young man. That's, uh, SpongeBob with two 7s, right?","What's your next exciting adventure, Patrick-Man?"
"Patrick: Actually,  it's Patrick to you.  I'm retiring. Having a job is too much work. Mr. Krabs: Not so fast! I think I need you to use your superpowers one last time. Patrick: What's this? Patrick: You're it!",Not for long!
"Patrick: Hey, try to catch me, SpongeBob!","Tag, you're it."
"Patrick: Oh, this game's too hard!",I know! What if both of us are it?
"Patrick: But then, who's gonna be not it?",Exactly! Neither of us will know!
"Patrick: Oh, I like not knowing! Let's play! SpongeBob and Patrick: I'm it! I'm it! I'm it! I'm it! I'm it! I'm it! I'm it! I'm it!",I'm it!
"Patrick: I'm it!  SpongeBob!  Hang on, buddy, I'm coming! Ahhhh!","Whoa, what is this place?"
"SpongeBob and Patrick: Patrick: Look at all this cool stuff!  I'm the captain!  Yo, ho, ho, ya mateys! Arr!  Got ya! En garde!  Thanks, SpongeBob. I guess we better be more careful.",Let's go back to the main deck.
Patrick: Okay.,"Patrick!  I'm coming, buddy! Patrick?  Patrick!"
"Patrick:  Ooh, shiny and smooth.","Wow, what's this?  Mauna Loa.  Oh, I'm late! Gotta get to work! ♪Mauna Loa, how I love ya, oh, my secret lovin' hideaway! My Mauna Loa bay-a bay!♪"
"Squidward: SpongeBob... SpongeBob... SpongeBob... SpongeBob! What are you doing? I've been saying I needed a Krabby Patty about a bajillion times! And you w— What the...? Ha ha ha! Nice patty, Michelangelo! Ha!  I hope you're not expecting an award anytime soon.","Oh, that's just my secret—  Here you go."
Squidward: Porous freak.,"Whew, that was a close one!"
"Patrick:  Hey, SpongeBob, check out the new t-shirt I just made!  Secret hideout, secret hideout, secret hideout, secret hideout, secret hideout, secret hide—","Patrick, please! What are you trying to do?! Give away our secret hideout?! Give me that!"
Mr. Krabs: What's all the racket?!,"Uh, sorry, sir."
"Mr. Krabs: Patrick, if you're going to distract me fry cook, the least you can do is buy some grub! Patrick: You got it, Mr. Krabs! Mr. Krabs: Back to work, boy.","Sure thing.  Arr! Oh, looks like the work day's over. See you tomorrow, sir!"
"Mr. Krabs: That's odd. Patrick: Hmm, well, let's see.","Come on, Patrick. We've got to get back to our playground."
"Patrick: Keep the change, my good man! Squidward:  Hmm, a gum wrapper and a coin that says Mauna Loa. Mr. Krabs: Mauna Loa?! As in the shipwreck Mauna Loa? Legend has it that the largest unfound pirate booty lies... in its ruins. I have been searching for this treasure nearly me entire adult life! Lookin' over every nook, every cranny, every dumpster. Once I get me claws on it, I'll be the richest crustacean in the world! Squidward: Well, I guess that explains this. Mr. Krabs: Hmm, looks like him and Patrick are trying to haul the loot for themselves. Come on, Squidward. We got to let those two ding-a-lings lead us straight to the Mauna Loa! Squidward: Actually, I have a hot date with my toenail clippers tonight, but have fun with that.","Hey, Patrick, do you think we gave away too much about our secret hideout?"
"Patrick: Oh, jeez, SpongeBob, who cares if everyone knows about our secret hideout?",Doesn't that make the secret hideout a little less secrety?
"Patrick: No. It's just a secret that everybody knows about.  What's wrong, SpongeBob?","Just as I thought. We're being followed. That's it!  Heh, looks like no one was following us to the secret hideout after all!"
Mr. Krabs: Found it!,"Hey, were you following us?"
"Mr. Krabs: No. I just saw the sign. Mr. Krabs: So you thought you could hide the treasure from old Mr. Krabs, did ya?","I'm not aware of any treasure. But I suppose since you're such a nice boss, you can hang out at the hideout. Just as long as you keep it a secret."
"Mr. Krabs:  Yeah, yeah, nobody's treasure. You're such a nice boss. You expect me to believe this malarkey?!  You're a stonewall, eh? We'll see about that!  Where'd you two blunders find the gold coin?","If my eyes weren't burning like they were full of lava, I could show you."
"Mr. Krabs:  Heh, jokers. Mr. Krabs:  I knew I'd find it! Check it out, fellas, cool, hard doubloons!","Uh, you might want to take a closer look at your coinage."
Mr. Krabs: Eh? What's this? Token Has No Monetary Value? Tokens?! This must be a decoy.,"Ahoy, Mr. Krabs! Maybe they hid the loot off ship in that shed!"
"Mr. Krabs:  Whee-hee! What the barnacle? Well, it's just full of tickets!","Well, you usually find tickets in a ticket booth."
Mr. Krabs: Ticket booth?!,And why are there height restrictions on the cruit?
"Mr. Krabs: Must Be This Tall To Ride? Patrick: Well, maybe they had something against short people. I like their little clothes.","Captain's Quarters. There must be some treasure here, Mr. Krabs!"
"Mr. Krabs:  Out of me way, boy.  I knew it. The lost treasure of the Mauna Loa is finally mine! I can practically taste them jewels.  It's a little lighter than I thought. Huh? It's empty.  No good. Ha, ha, very clever, captain. Throw in Krabs, the old ringer, eh? You must have a treasure map or something. Where you keeping it? In your pocket?  Plastic? Hang on a minute. A plastic captain... a ticket booth... tokens? It's not the Wreck of the Mauna Loa, It's The Wreck of the Mauna Loa amusement park ride! Patrick: No wonder we were so amused! Mr. Krabs: Well, I'm not!","Remember, you're always welcome back at the secret hideout."
Mr. Krabs: This place ain't got no treasure! Keep your worthless hunk of junk!,"Okay, but, would you mind keeping this worthless hunk of junk a secret? Wouldn't be much of a secret if we had a million people showing up!"
"Mr. Krabs: Oh-ho-ho, don't flatten yourself. People want to see the real thing! It's not like a million people just show up to an old amusement park ride for fun.  Wait a minute. That's exactly what they do. Oh-ho-ho, brace yourself, fellas. Your hideaway's about to become the worst kept secret in the sea! Squidward:  Welcome to The Wreck of the Mauna Loa. Arr. How may I help you? Dennis: I'll take 10 tokens, please. Mr. Krabs:  Step right up, don't be shy! Experience the amusement and terror of The Wreck of the Mauna Loa! Mr. Krabs:  That's right, folks! We spare no expense to restore this plastic ship to its former glory! Nazz-Mimi: Sorry, honey, but you'll have to come back when you're a big boy. Mr. Krabs: Oh-ho-ho, I disagree. I'd say the little  feller's just right. SpongeBob and Patrick:","It's gone, Patrick. Our secret paradise is gone forever!"
"Patrick: And alas, even the joyous shrieks of children cannot lift my sunken heart!",How 'bout another ride to cheer you up?
"Patrick: Let's do this! SpongeBob and Patrick: Whoo-hoo! Ha, ha! Woo-hoo!  Woo-hoo!",That was awesome!
"Patrick: Yeah! Totally realistic! Harold:  Realistic? That realism nearly cost us our lives! Sally: Mr. Krabs put all our lives in danger with this careless contraption! Nazz-Mimi: What were you thinking? Our little boy could've been hurt on your disaster of a ride! Mr. Krabs: Okay, people, let's not do anything we might regret! Fish Cop: Too late for that, Krabs. Mr. Krabs: What—what—what are you talking about? You can't take me to the pokey! I— Fish Cop: For operating a danger to public safety I can, and I will. Honestly, I think he'll be safer in prison.","Well, Patrick, I guess we really lost our secret hideout this time."
"Patrick: And just when everyone was starting to find out about it, too.","Oh, who knows, Patrick? The next fun, fun place might be just around the corner, huh?"
"Patrick: Well, I doubt it.","The Real Mauna Loa? Ooh, Patrick, do you want to keep a secret?"
"Patrick:  Nope! Squidward:  Hurry up with those chairs, SpongeBob. It's after closing and I'd like to go home!","I got it, I got it! Coming!"
"Squidward: Hello. Sorry, sir. We're close... Mr. Krabs: Ahoy, there! Krusty Krab, how could I help you?  Pizza?  Ummm... of course we have pizza! Squidward: Uhh, Mr. Krabs... Mr. Krabs: Our delivery squid will bring it right over. Squidward: Mr. Krabs, we don't serve pizza.  We don't deliver! Mr. Krabs: We don't deliver.  But you do. Squidward: Can't you just get SpongeBob to do it? Mr. Krabs: Great idea! Take him with you. Squidward: That's not what I had in mind!","Front end... check. Antenna...  check. Bumper... check. Bumper sticker...  ...check.  Tire pressure!  ...check. Vehicle inspection complete! We're really making history here, Squidward. That lucky customer is going to get the first Krabby Patty Pizza ever!"
"Squidward: Good, then you drive.",I can't. I'm still in Boating School.
"Squidward: Come on, SpongeBob. It's just around the corner.","Well, yeah, but..."
Squidward: Just do what you do in school.,"Well, okay. Wait, don't tell me."
Squidward: Back it up.,Huh?
Squidward: Back... it up.,"Right, back... it up."
Squidward: Back it up!,"Okay, okay!"
"Squidward: Shift into reverse, SpongeBob!","Reverse? Oh, yeah, reverse! Right... uhh...?!?!?!"
Squidward: BACK IT UP!,BACKING UP! BACKING UUUUPPPPP!
"Squidward:  GIVE ME THE WHEEL, SPONGEBOB! GIVE ME THE WHEEEEEEEEL!",Backing up! Backing up! Ba-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-ack-i-i-i-i-i-ng up!  Backing up! Backing up! Backing up! Backing up...  ...backing up.
"Squidward: Well, you backed up. And you know what? I think we're out of gas. And you know what else?  We're in the middle of nowhere!",And you know what else else? I think the pizza's getting cold.
"Squidward: And the pizza's cold? Oh, the pizza's cold. Not the pizza! Oh, how could it get any worse?!",Well... we can still deliver it on foot.
"Squidward: Ow, ow, ow.",The Krusty Krab pizza is the pizza for you and me! The Krusty Krab pizza is the pizza...
Squidward: ...and my feet are killing me. Whoa!  SpongeBob? What are you doing?,It's an old pioneer trick. I saw it in a movie once.
"Squidward: SpongeBob, this is no time for...","Shh, shh, shh. It's working."
Squidward: What is it?,Truck! Sixteen wheels! Now I can show you how the pioneers hitchhiked.  WheeeeEEEEEeeee... eeeEEEEEeee...
"Truck Driver: Crashin', frashin' break dancers! Squidward: He's stopping, he's stopping!",The Krusty Krab pizza is the pizza for you and me! The Krusty Krab pizza  is the pizza free delivery! The Krusty Krab pizza is the pizza very ta-asty.
"Squidward: Will you let go of that stupid pizza, already?!","I can't, it's for the customer!"
Squidward: Who cares about the customer?!,I do!
"Squidward: Well, I don't!",Squidward!
Squidward: Let go of that pizza!,No!
"Squidward: Ow.  SpongeBob, let go of that pizza!",No! It's for the customer!
Squidward: SpongeBob!  Let go of the pizza!,No!
"Squidward: SpongeBob!  Hang onto the pizza!  Hey! Hey!  Where's the road? Wh-wh-wh-where's the road?!  We're doomed! How are we gonna get home, which way do we go???  What are we gonna do now!? There's no road here!",I think town's this way.
"Squidward: Oh, don't tell me, Jethro. The pioneers?",That's right.  Moss always points to civilization.
"Squidward: That way? That way there?  So, let me get this straight... you think that we should go that way?",Yep.
"Squidward: Well, then I'm going this way.","Huh? Squid, wait! I don't think..."
"Squidward: Trust me, I know where I'm going.","The Krusty Krab pizza is the pizza, absolutivally.  pizza...  pizza...  Krusty Krab pizza is the pizza, yeah, for you and  me-eeeeee-eee-ee-eeeeeeeeeee!!  Krab Pizza... for you... Krus... the Krusshy and the... Krab and the... pizza inside..."
"Squidward: Sponge, we gotta eat something.","I heard in times of hardship, the pioneers would eat coral.  No, maybe it wasn't coral...  ...maybe it was sand... no, no, mud."
Squidward: Give me the pizza!,"Wait, I remember now. It was coral!"
Squidward: Give it to me!,"No, we promised it's for the customer."
Squidward:  You're right. It's for the customer.,Yeah!
"Squidward: Maybe we better check on it, make sure it's okay.",Well?
Squidward: Just a peek.,"Okay, it's fine!"
"Squidward: No, I think I saw something.  Oh, no. I was wrong. It looks okay. Sure is a fine-looking pizza.",Yeah...
Squidward: What's that? Is that the cheese?,Yeah...
Squidward: And the pepperoni?,Yeah...
"Squidward:  Ooh, looks good, huh?","...wait a second! I know what you're trying to do, Squidward!  I'm not letting you eat the pizza!"
Squidward: Give me the pizza!,No!
"Squidward: Don't make me take it away from you, SpongeBob!",Get away!
"Squidward: Get back here, SpongeBob!  Give me the pizza!",No!
Squidward: SpongeBob!,No!
Squidward: SpongeBob!,No!
Squidward: Wait!,No! No!
Squidward: I want that pizza and you're gonna hand it over one way or another!,"Look, we're saved!"
"Squidward: Sure, we're saved. Now give me some pizza!","No, really Squid, we're saved! We're saved! We're saved!"
Squidward: Will you cut that out?!,"Saved, saved, saved, saved! Saved, saved, saved, saved, saved, saved!  Saved, saved, saved, saved, saved, saved! Saved, saved, saved, saved, saved, saved! Saved, we are saved!"
Squidward: That's just a stupid boulder!,"It's not just a boulder!!  It's a rock!  A ro-ha-hock! A ra-ha-ha-ha-HA-hock! It's a big beautiful, old rock.  Oh, the pioneers used to ride these babies for miles, and it's in great shape."
"Squidward: SpongeBob, will you forget the stupid pioneers?! Have you ever noticed that there are none of them left? That's because they were lousy hitchhikers, ate coral and took directions from algae. And now, you're telling me they thought they could drive...  ...rocks. Hold on there, Jethro!",I can't wait to see the look on our customer's face!
Orange fish: Yeah?,"Congratulations, sir, your Krabby Patty pizza is here!"
"Orange fish: Wow, thanks. I've been dyin' for one of these. It...  Where's my drink?",What drink?
Orange fish:  My drink? My diet Dr. Kelp? Don't tell me you forgot my drink!,But... you didn't order any drink.
Orange fish:  How am I supposed to eat this pizza without my drink?!?,But... but...
"Orange fish: Didn't you ever once think of the customer?!  You call yourself a delivery boy? WELL, I AIN'T BUYIN'. Squidward: Sponge? Sponge? It's okay... Sponge?  Sponge? Orange fish:  Another one? Look, I told your little friend I ain't PAYIN' FOR THAT. Squidward:  Well, this one's ON THE HOUSE!",Did he change his mind?
"Squidward:  He sure did, ate the whole thing in one bite.",No drink?
Squidward: Nope. Now take me home.,Are you kidding? We have just enough time to make it back to work!
"Squidward: Work...? Oh, my aching tentacles...! Squidward: Wow, I'm really late again. Maybe they'll finally fire me.  Locked?",This isn't happening. This isn't happening!
Squidward: Spongebob?,"The horror, it's unspeakable!  Don't you see, Squidward? It's closed! The Krusty Krab is closed!"
Squidward: You mean I got out of bed for nothing?,"The doors are locked. The doors are locked and we are on the outside. Outsiders. What are we going to do, Squidward? There are Krabby Patties inside all alone."
"Mr. Krabs: Just stand aside, lad, and let me unlock the door.","Mr. Krabs, you're here!  Gosh, Mr. Krabs, we were worried something might have happened to you. That the world would've been deprived of the greatest food known to man."
"Mr. Krabs:  Oh, you made me drop me keys. Give me some space, lad. Can't a crab get a little space?!","I'm sorry, Mr. Krabs."
"Squidward: Harsh. Mr. Krabs:  Arrgh, me back!","Are you hurt, Mr. Krabs?"
"Mr. Krabs:  No. I'm just doubled over in pain, fightin' back tears in me eyes because it's a new dance craze!","Oh good, I thought you were hurt."
"Mr. Krabs:  I am hurt, ya idiot!  I'm sorry I snapped at ya, laddie. It's just me back is killing me. It's me old, lumpy mattress. It's like trying to sleep on broken coral. I'm going out of me mind.  Oh, me back.","Poor Mr. Krabs. What are we going to do, Squidward?"
Squidward: Why do anything? I like the new Mr. Krabs. He yells at you more.,"I'm serious, Squidward."
Squidward: So am I.,We should get Mr. Krabs a new mattress and surprise him with it as a gift. Then we'll never have to be late to work again.
"Squidward: What? You want me to spend my hard earned money on my richer than me skin flint boss? No, thank you.","That's okay, Squidward, you'll warm up to the idea.  Thanks for coming with me, Patrick."
"Patrick: No problem, buddy. I always wanted to go to a mattress store.",I've never seen so many mattresses.
Patrick: Yeah.,How many do you think there are?
Patrick:  10.,Cool.
Employee: There's plenty more than that. Try them out. Find one you like. Squidward: What are you morons doing?,Making a card for Mr. Krabs. To go with his new mattress.
"Squidward: Oh, I see. You're just kissing up to the boss to make me look bad. Well, I won't stand for it. Gimme that card.  Trying to outsmart me, will ya?  There, I signed it for all of us. Patrick: Hey, you didn't even help pay.","Oh, that's okay, as long as Mr. Krabs is happy."
"Mr. Krabs: Oh, me back. Well, here goes another useless attempt to sleep on me mount less, lumpy mattress.  Huh, that's queer. Me mattress seems strangely cozy and butter-like... SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward: Surprise! Mr. Krabs: Armageddon! What? Oh, you? What in the blue eye scallop are you doing in me bedroom?","We noticed how miserable you were on your lumpy, old mattress."
"Squidward: So I suggested we get you a new one. Patrick:  I thought it was your idea. Mr. Krabs:  So, where's me old mattress then? Squidward: Don't worry, Mr. Krabs, I took care of that personally, too. I had it hauled away to the dump. Mr. Krabs:  All my money was in that mattress! Squidward: What?! Haven't you ever heard of a bank?! Mr. Krabs: No!",Mr. Krabs!
Mr. Krabs: No! Patrick: And we got you a card. Mr. Krabs:  Is there money in it? Patrick:  Nope.,"Is it serious, doctor? Will Mr. Krabs be alright?"
"Doctor: Mr. Krabs is in a cash-coma. Only the return of his money can save his life. Squidward: It was SpongeBob's fault! Getting Mr. Krabs a new mattress was his idea! Patrick:  I knew it! Police Officer: Not so fast!  This card says This was all my idea. Love, Squidward. If Mr. Krabs doesn't pull through, you're going to jail. Squidward:  Ooh... you did this, SquarePants! If you don't get Mr. Krabs' mattress back from the dump, I am going to murd...  ... help you do it myself. Patrick: Wow, he really does care. Patrick: What a dump.","We gotta get in there, Squidward. Mr. Krabs is counting on us."
"Patrick:  Hey, SpongeBob, isn't that the mattress over there?","Terrific, Patrick, you found it!"
Squidward: What? Where? Lemme see. Where?,"Over there, Squidward, underneath that really big guard worm."
"Squidward: Oh, that figures. Doctor: Oh no, this is horrible. Nurse: What is it, doctor? Doctor: This man has no insurance. Nurse: He'll never be able to afford this room! Doctor: You're right, nurse. Extract the patient to the hallway. Stat!","Well, that's Mr. Krabs' mattress, alright. Let's go get it."
"Squidward: Okay, here's the plan: you two quietly go in there, remove the mattress out from the guard worm without... waking... the worm. Patrick:  Why not?","Because that would be rude, Patrick."
"Squidward: And nothing's meaner than a junkyard worm. He'll eat you alive! Patrick:  Hey, wait a minute, what are you gonna do? Squidward:  Oh, I've got the most important job. I'm going to keep watch to make sure it's safe. Patrick:  Gee, thanks, buddy. Squidward: My pleasure. Now let's get a move on.","Ah, isn't it beautiful, Patrick? You can see everything from up here."
Patrick: Wow. Squidward:  What are you morons doing?,"Hey, Patrick, I think I can see our houses from here."
"Patrick: Where? I can't see them. SpongeBob and Patrick: Wow. Patrick: Let's do it again. Squidward: What did you idiots do?! Patrick: Squidward, what are you doing in there? You were suppose to keep watch!","Yeah, and you woke up the guard worm, too!"
"Squidward: I didn't do it! You blockheads woke...  the... worm. Doctor #2: Doctor? Doctor #1: Yes, doctor? Doctor #2: Regarding your patient, doctor. I have come to this conclusion. Doctor #1: Yes, go on. Doctor #2: We have to surgically remove him out from in front of the candy machine so I can get to the nutty nut bar. Doctor #1: Of course. Nurse? Nurse: I'm on it.",Worm-bait to the retriever. Worm bait to the retriever. We're in. Out.
"Squidward: Retriever to worm bait, stay in. Don't go out.",Understood. Out.
Squidward: No! In! Out.,Understood. Out.
"Squidward: Oh, look, you're at the far side of the dump, right?",Affirmative.
Squidward: Good. Then make lots of noise to draw the guard worm away from the mattress so I can retrieve it.,"Affirmative. Out. Oh, that's why he calls himself 'The Retriever'."
Patrick: Why are we called 'Worm-bait?',"I dunno.  Great idea, Patrick!"
"Squidward: And my perfect plan falls into place. Patrick:  Uh, SpongeBob?","Yes, Patrick?"
Patrick: I think I know why our code name is Worm-bait.,"Nice worm. Good, kind, gentle worm!"
"Patrick: Ohh, SpongeBob, he likes your wooden spoon.","Wow, I think you're right, Patrick."
Patrick:  See if he plays catch.,"Okay, see the stick, boy?  Go get it, boy!"
"Squidward: Coast is clear. Squiddy, you are a genius.  Ouch. What the...? Hey, I needed a wooden spoon. I'll just keep it safe from harm in my back pocket.  And now for the mattress.  I should've guessed. Administrator Flotsam: Excuse me, doctor. Doctor: Administrator Flotsam, what can I do for you? Administrator Flotsam: It has come to my attention that your patient, Mr. Krabs, is outside on the front sidewalk. Doctor: Yes, yes he is. Administrator Flotsam: What were you thinking, man? We're trying to run a business. We can't leave patients on the sidewalk. Doctor: Not to worry. Nurse! Nurse: I'm on it. Squidward: Alright, you two, what's the holdup?",We feel silly.
"Squidward: Come on, do it for old man Krabs.","Okay.  Can you explain the plan again, Squidward?"
"Squidward: Sure, but first, put on this cologne.",Steak sauce?
"Squidward: Okay, so you are dressed as choice cuts. You go in there and yell Trick or treat! The worm will realize he forgot to stock up on Halloween candy, he'll leave to buy some then we take the mattress. Patrick: Gimme that cologne. Squidward: Now get in there!","Happy Halloween, Squidward!"
Squidward: I am not going to get hurt this time.  Isn't that Mr. Krabs? Patrick: That guard worm doesn't look very happy.,"Run, Mr. Krabs! Run like you're not in a coma!"
"Mr. Krabs:  It's... me money!  Oh, money. I promise I'll never leave you alone again.","Hey, Mr. Krabs.  No, Mr. Krabs, it's us!"
"Patrick: Trick or treat. Mr. Krabs: Oh, hey, SpongeBob. I didn't recognize you. Say, why are you two dressed as meat?","Not just meat, we're choice cuts! Right, Squidward?"
"Squidward: Oh, I give up.  Ahhh! Get away!","♪Mr. Sun came up, and he smiled at me. Said, It's gonna be a good one, just wait and see. Jumped out of bed and I ran outside, feeling so extra ecstatified. It's the best day ever!♪"
Echo: ♪Best day ever♪,"Hey, Gary!"
Gary: Meow?,"Why is this the best day ever?, you ask? Because, Gary, I get to start this wonderful day bringing life to a whole new generation of delicious Krabby Patties, followed by a vigorous mid-day session of karate with Sandy, and an afternoon jellyfishing with Patrick, where I'll unveil my newest, most prized possession: the Deluxe Jelly Slayer Composite Pro! And for the grand finale, every one of my closest friends joining together for Squidward's clarinet recital! I am so excited I think I'm gonna explode!  ♪It's the best day ever♪"
Echo: ♪Best day ever♪,♪It's the best day ever♪
Echo: ♪Best day ever♪,♪It's the best day ever♪
Echo: ♪Best day ever♪,♪It's the best day ever♪
"Echo: ♪Best day ever♪ Mr. Krabs: Get out of the way, boy!  Me building's been condemned, boy! We got ourselves a nematode infestation!","But... the best day ever starts at the Krusty Krab! Guys, I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to ask you to leave!  Ohhhh! Guys, you're ruining the  best day...  Wait, no.  Best day...  Huh?"
"Mr. Krabs:  Keep playing, lad! Take them devil's sons of the sea away from me restaurant!",Whoa! I gotta get to Sandy's!  Wait ‘til Sandy gets a load of these adhesive karate gloves. Hyah!  Hyah!
"Sandy:  SpongeBob, what on Earth are you doing?!","Oh, just a little something I like to call karate!"
"Sandy: I can't right now, SpongeBob. I got a leak in my roof the size of a full-grown quarter horse!","Mm-hmm. I see. Okay, then. I'll come back later."
Sandy: Knock... it... off!  It stopped? SpongeBob!,Yeah?
Sandy: Hang on! I'm going to get some sealant and patch and trowel!,"Oh.  Oh, no Krabby Patties, no karate. But at least I still have jellyfishing with... Hey, there he is now!  Wait for me, Patrick. I've got a brand-new...  What's wrong, Patrick?"
Patrick: I broke my net!,"Well, lucky for you, I brought my old net."
Patrick: For me?,"Yeah, I won't be needing it now that I got my brand-new..."
Patrick:  SpongeBob! I broke... could I use this one?,"Well, actually, Patrick, that's my brand-new net."
Patrick: Yeah?,"Okay, Patrick, it's my turn, now.  Hey, Patrick? Pat, old buddy. P-Patrick? It's-it's my turn now.  I guess I'll see you at the concert.  It's the best day ever. It's the best day ever. Oh, this best day ever isn't going so good.  No work, no karate, no jellyfishing. Hey, I still have Squidward's concert! I won't let this one slip through my fingers.  Hey, Squidward. Squidward, what's wrong?"
Squidward: The concert is ruined! My reed is shot.  See? I'm finished!,"Pull yourself together, man! I came for here a concert, and darn it, I am gonna get one!"
Squidward:  But my reed!,Now play!
Squidward: But...,I said play!
Squidward: Not bad.,Now get in there and give me a concert to remember!
"Usher: Where do you think you're going, kid?",I'm going to see Squidward play his clarinet. Today's my best day ever!
Usher: Where's your ticket?,"One ticket, coming right up, cap'n!  Must be here somewhere.  I don't have a ticket."
"Usher: No ticket, no entry.",But...
"Usher: No ticket, no entry! SpongeBob Puppet: Oh, dear! I don't have a ticket. But I want to go to the show. Hmmm... what should I do? Oh, I know. I'll just sneak in the back door. Usher: Oh, no, you don't!","SpongeBob, you are so..."
"Usher Puppet: Ticket, please. Usher: Ticket, ma'am. Mrs. Puff: Certainly.  SpongeBob? Usher: You? This time, I'm gonna... Wait a minute! Did you say SpongeBob? SpongeBob SquarePants? You're on the VIP list.",A reserved seat? Next to my friends? I made it! All I have to do is sit down and...  NOOOOOO! (jumps on stage and tears the curtain) No! It is not over!
Fish: Huh?,This was supposed to be my perfect day. But then everything...  SIT DOWN!  Then everything turned to doo-doo.
"Mr. Krabs: It's okay, SpongeBob.","No, it's not okay!  This was gonna be my best day ever, starting with doing the best job in the world: working at the Krusty Krab."
"Mr. Krabs: Boy, you saved me barnacle the way you put the run on them nematodes.","Yeah, I guess so. But then I was gonna do karate with Sandy."
"Sandy: I know, but you saved the treedome! Pretty cool, if you ask me.","Well, I suppose. But then I was gonna go jellyfishing with Patrick."
"Patrick: But then you... Uh, what'd you do again? Squidward: And, I hate to admit it, but I suppose if you hadn't fixed my reed, the concert would have been a bust. Mr. Krabs: You see, SpongeBob, it's not about you or your perfect day or any of those things.",It's not?
Mr. Krabs: No.  It's about us!,It is?
"Mr. Krabs: Yep. And since you did such a good job, we wanna make it up to you.",You do?
"Mr. Krabs: So, just tell us anything your little heart desires, and it's yours.  Ladies and gentlemen, tonight, the Bikini Bottom Players proudly present a very expensive production of... The Best Day Ever! And it better be good for all it's costing me.","♪My perfect job starts my perfect day.♪  ♪Then it's time to kick back, relax and play.♪"
Mr. Krabs: That wasn't in the budget!,♪Sing along. Hear that happy sound♪
Patrick: ♪Don't let those sour notes bring you down.♪ Squidward: Hey!,♪That's where it's at!♪
Mr. Krabs: I'm not paying for that!,♪It's the best day ever♪
Echo: ♪Best day ever♪,♪It's the best day ever♪
Echo: ♪Best day ever♪,♪It's the best day ever♪
Echo: ♪Best day ever♪,♪It's the best day ever♪
"Echo: ♪Best day ever♪ Squidward: How long do we have to keep this up? Mr. Krabs: Just till his little heart gives out, Squidward. Just till his little heart gives out. Narrator: Fishermen have quite an effect on our undersea friends. Squidward: SpongeBob, have you finished swabbing the deck?",Almost. There's a nasty barnacle under table 9.
"Mr. Krabs: They're back! They're back, I tell ya! I saw it with me own eyes!  The hooks! The hooks! Fred: How about a mint? Mr. Krabs: The hooks! The hooks! Tom: Can you make that to go? Squidward:  You don't know how lucky you are. Mr. Krabs: The hooks! So there I was, minding my own business... Squidward: I'd love to hear another of your riveting sea tales, but, uhmmm... I have to do my waste basket inspection.  Uh-huh, mmhmm, oh, yeah, there's one. Mr. Krabs: Fine. Don't say I didn't warn ya!","Warn him about what, Mr. Krabs?"
"Mr. Krabs: The hooks, me bucko! They're back. Beware the hooks!",The hooks?
"Mr. Krabs: Aye.  The hooks.  They dangle down and draw you close with their pleasing shapes and their beguiling colors. And just when you think you found the land of milk and honey, they grab you by the britches...  ...and haul you way up high! Then higher, AND HIGHER, AND HIGHER  until you're hauled up to the surface, flopping and gasping for breath! And then, they cook ya, and then, they eat ya... or worse!",What could be worse than that?!
Mr. Krabs: Gift shops.,"Don't let 'em get me, Mr. Krabs!"
"Mr. Krabs: There, there, boy. They won't get ya. Not as long as you listen to ol' Mr. Krabs. Now get back to the kitchen! Time is money!","Aye, aye, Mr. Krabs!"
"Patrick:  Gooooood morning, Krusty Crew.","Hey, Patrick."
"Patrick: Guess what? The carnival's in town. Come on, let's go!",I can't leave now. I'm working.
"Patrick: It's not leaving. You're just taking a break.  We're going to the carnival, we're going to the carni...  We're going to the carnival, we're going to the carnival! There it is, SpongeBob. The carnival is back in town!  I'm gonna be first in line for everything!",Where is everybody?
"Patrick: I don't know. There was one kid here, earlier.","Doesn't look like any carnival I ever...  Excuse me.  Stop, Patrick! Don't touch it! This isn't the carnival, Patrick. Those are hooks! Mr. Krabs says they're really dangerous!"
Patrick:  Hmmm. I sense no danger here. How can they be dangerous? They're covered with free cheese.,"All I know is Mr. Krabs said-- Patrick, don't do that!"
"Patrick: Cheesy. No danger here. Go on, try it!","But, Mr. Krabs said..."
"Patrick: SpongeBob, let me ask you something.  Does this look dangerous?","Patrick, don't!"
"Patrick: Lighten up, will ya? Or do I have to eat all this cheese by mysel...","Patrick! Help! Oh, Patrick, help! Oh, Patrick, come back! Oh, my best friend!  Patrick, you're alive!"
Patrick: Am I ever! You should try it.,"But...what about the surface, and your britches, and the gift shops?"
Patrick: You just jump off before you go up too high.,Mr. Krabs said I shouldn't get near those things.
Patrick: Did he say you shouldn't climb on top of them and ride them like a horsey?,"Well, no."
Patrick: Wheeee!,I guess he didn't!
"Patrick: Hi-yo, Silverfish! AWAYYYYYY!!!!",Ready?
Patrick: Ready! SpongeBob and Patrick: Geronimo!!,This is more fun than double overtime at the Krusty Krab!
"Ivy: P.U.!  You call this food?! Harold: My sandwich tastes like a fried boot! Another Harold:  My sandwich is a fried boot! Fred: Hurry it up, will ya?! We're hungry over here! Look at us! My kids haven't eaten and I'm dying!  That's not how you're supposed to flip it! Fish: Can you see, we're hungry! That's wrong! Female Fish: I want a nice good meal! Squidward:  WHY DO YOU WANNA EAT THIS STUFF ANYWAY?!? Mr. Krabs: Mr. Squidward, what the halibut is going on in here? Squidward: It's a feeding frenzy, sir! And SpongeBob's not back from his break.  What? Mr. Krabs: I thought you said SpongeBob was taking a break. No one's taken a break at the Krusty Krab since the Chum Famine of '59.  Now, what were you saying? Squidward: He took a break. Mr. Krabs:  Alright, SpongeBob LAZY Pants! I'll find ya. This nose can smell laziness up to 10,000 leagues.  Aha! I'll give you a break you'll not soon forget! Squidward: But, Mr. Krabs, I still need help! Mr. Krabs:  They should be right here. Patrick: Again?",Again!
"Mr. Krabs: The hooks!! No! No! No! SpongeBob and Patrick:  1, 2, 3! Mr. Krabs : Wait! WAIT...!! SpongeBob and Patrick: Blastoff!! Mr. Krabs: Boys! I wasn't quick enough. They're gone!  If I can only hold them in me arms again, I'd...I'd...  ...I'D THROTTLE 'EM! What did I tell you about those hooks, boy?!",I...I...I...
"Patrick: I'll tell you about the hooks. You ride 'em up, and up, and up. Then you gently flow down! Mr. Krabs: And do you know what happens when you don't float back down!?!",Gift shop?
"Mr. Krabs: Worse! You end up vacuum-packed in a can of tuna!  With nothing to look forward to but the smell of mayonnaise! SpongeBob and Patrick: We're sorry, Mr. Krabs. Mr. Krabs: I want you boys to promise me you'll never go on those hooks again. SpongeBob and Patrick:  We promise, Mr. Krabs. Mr. Krabs: I need a sailor's promise! Repeat after me: yo-ho! Yo-ho! Near the hooks I'll never go! SpongeBob and Patrick: Yo-ho. Yo-ho. Near the hooks we'll never go. Mr. Krabs:  YOW! Mother of pearl! Fire on the poop deck! SpongeBob and Patrick: Ahh! Mother of pearl! Fire on the poop deck! Mr. Krabs: Whoa, whew! Alright then. Let's get out of this death trap.","Okay, Gary. Today is a new day. I'm ready to prove myself loyal to Mr. Krabs."
Gary: Meow.,"I'M READY!  I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, ready, ready, I'm ready..."
"Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob, you're going the wrong way!",I always go to work this way.
Patrick: You're not going to work today. We're going to go play Hooky!,"But, Patrick, we promised."
"Patrick: Well, I had my fingers crossed.","You don't have any fingers, Patrick."
"Patrick: Well, that Mr. Krabs is just a big dummy. We played on those hooks all day long and nothing happened to us!",But Mr. Krabs said...
"Patrick: Look, SpongeBob, are you gonna listen to a big dummy, or are you gonna listen to me?",Umm...
"Patrick: See ya later, SpongeBob. I'm gonna go have some fun.  Come on, SpongeBob! You know you want to!","Ooh, I know I want to, but I promised Mr. Krabs I wouldn't go near another...  ...hook!  Oh no. Mr. Krabs told me all about you. You are a liar. A deceiver. I'll never fall for your tricks again! Never!  Is this seat taken?  Whew! Glad I got that out of my system.  I'm hooked. And that means...  AAAAAHHH!!! HELP!! I'M HOOKED! Help! Mr. Krabs! Help! It happened! I'm hooked! Oh, no! The hook! The hook! Gift shop, tuna can, mayonnaise!"
"Mr. Krabs: Here you go, Pearl. Free water for all your little friends. Pearl: Thanks, dad. Mr. Krabs: Just don't forget to leave a tip for ol' Mr. Krabs.","Psst, Mr. Krabs."
"Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob! You're two minutes late. What kept you, laddie?","Um, you know those hooks we were talking about yesterday?"
Mr. Krabs: Didn't I tell you not to go near those hooks?,"Umm...no.  I mean yes! Yes, you told me not to go near them!"
"Mr. Krabs: Well, you weren't playing on those hooks, were you, laddie?","Of course not.  I mean, not exactly.  I mean yes! YES I DID IT! I admit it!  Oh, Mr. Krabs! I'm so ashamed! I mean, look at me.  I'm hooked!"
"Mr. Krabs: Hmmm, it's in there pretty deep.",What am I gonna do?
"Mr. Krabs: There's only one thing to do, boy.","Oh no, Mr. Krabs. I can't take off my pants. Not in front of all these girls!  D’oh, okay! I'm taking 'em off. I'm taking 'em off.  There."
Mr. Krabs: Uhh... lad?,"Oh no. Oh no, no, no, Mr. Krabs! I can't do it. Anything but that!"
"Mr. Krabs: I understand. You were a good little fry cook, SpongeBob.  But, we'll find another. Hopefully one that will listen to ol' Mr. Krabs.","Oh, Mr. Krabs! I'll listen! I promise!  Please save me, Mr. Krabs!  I promise I'll be good!  Whew!"
"Pearl: Oooh, look! It's SpongeBob NUDIE Pants! Squidward:  Well, that was more of SpongeBob than I needed to see. Mr. Krabs: Mr. Squidward, that was some fine angling. Do you think the lad has learned his lesson? Squidward: Oh, I think he'll remember this for a long time. I know I will.",The pants! The underwear!
"Patrick:  Hellllo? Does somebody have a can opener? Narrator: Welcome aboard. If you're watching this video, then let me be the first to say: Congratulations.  You've recently been hired in the Krusty Krab  and this is your first official day of training.",Can I make a Krabby Patty now?
"Narrator: Oh no, you've got a lot to learn before you're ready to make a Krabby Patty. As you can see by this graph...  *ahem* graph.  You have been employed in one of the most successful restaurants in Bikini Bottom. But it didn't get that way over night...  because the store closes at 6.  No, the story of the Krusty Krab is the story of one man's hard work, perseverance, vision, determination and sweat.  But mostly his sweat.  From Humble Beginnings.  You may think that Mr. Eugene H. Krabs, owner and founder of Krusty Krab Inc., has always been the financial wizard he is today.  And you're right!  After the war, Krabs stayed secluded in a deep depression that seemed endless.  But then his luck changed when he acquired a bankrupt retirement home and with a few minor alterations, the Krusty Krab was born! Baby: *waahh waahh* Narrator:  Sounds like a lot of... Hoopla fish: Hoopla! Narrator: Sounds like a lot of... Hoopla fish: Hoopla! Narrator: Sounds like a... Hoopla fish: Hoopla!  HOOPLA! Narrator: Sounds like a lot of hoopla to make over a little Krabby Patty, right? Haha, wrong!  The Krusty Krab today.  To keep up with today's demanding customers, no expense has been spared to acquire all the latest achievements in fast-food technology. Mr. Krabs:  This here's an advanced patty-control mechanism.  Here you can see our automated money-handling system. Don't touch!  These are high-quality beverage temperature devices. Imported.  This here's a prototype liquid transfer machine.  And most importantly,  You get your state-of-the-art condiment-dispersal units. Now, are you gonna buy something or just stand there cause there's a standing fee. Narrator:  All of this modernization seems a little overwhelming, doesn't it?  Well luckily for you, Mr. Krabs fear of robot overlords keeps the balance of technology in check.  But if modernization is the heart of the Krusty Krab, then employees are the liver and gallbladder.  Let's see if you got what it takes. Hmmm, poised, confident, and a smile that says, Hello world! May I take your order? You've got the makings of a good employee, Mr. SquarePants. But for every good employee, there is one who is not so good.  Let's see, inattentive, impatient, a glazed look in the eyes.  Look carefully at the I Really Wish I Weren't Here Right Now! button. There's a name for employees like this, but we'll call him Squidward. Squidward: I'm getting paid overtime for this, right Mr. Krabs? Mr. Krabs:  Sorry, can't hear you! Narrator: Training.",Does this mean I get to make a Krabby Patty now?
"Narrator: No, you can't make a Krabby Patty without understanding the phrase POOP.",POOP?
"Narrator: Once you understand POOP, you'll understand your place at the Krusty Krab. But what does POOP mean?  It's actually a carefully organized code. Watch closely. People Order Our Patties.","Oh, POOP!"
"Narrator: Looks like Mr. SquarePants understands POOP.  Here's a typical customer. I wonder what he wants. Well, if we just remember POOP, we can figure it out. Harold: I'd like to order- Narrator: Do you think he's going to order: A: A sofa, B: An expensive haircut, or C: A patty? Harold: One patty please. Narrator: Ah, POOP! You never let us down!  Now that you understand POOP, I bet you think you're ready to make a Krabby Patty.",Krabby Patty!
"Narrator: Ha-ha! Not so fast, Eager McBeaver. We haven't even talked about:  Personal Hygiene.  Every employee at the Krusty Krab must comply with a strict set of personal hygiene guidelines.  Okay, Mr. SquarePants, are you ready to prepare for your shift?  A good employee always washes himself thoroughly. Be sure to get under those fingernails.  And don't forget about the knuckles.  And make sure those palms are squeaky clean.  All right, let's see those hands!  Now that's thorough, HAHA.  After making sure your boots are polished, your face is clear of any blemishes or boils,  and your hair is neat and tidy,  you are ready to start the day! Now let's see how Squidward prepares for his shift.  REMEMBER, NO EMPLOYEE WANTS TO BE A SQUIDWARD.  Now that you're clean and hygienic, I bet you think you're ready to make that Krabby Patty.",I'm ready!  I'm ready!!  I'm ready!!  I'm ready!!!
"Narrator: Whoa there! We have a few more topics to cover first.  Your Work Station.  It's important to keep your area tidy and free of droppings. But a clean workstation is only part of the job.  To make the vision in your head a reality, you'll need supplies. And a good employee always keeps his supplies well-organized.  Very nice, Mr. SquarePants, not a pickle out of place.  Now let's see how Squidward keeps his work station. Squidward: Huh?  Oh! Narrator: Don't worry, Squidward, Mr. SquarePants can cover for you.  Now that your workstation is up and running, perhaps you think you're ready to make the world-famous Krabby Patty.  Calm down.  There's plenty of time left. We have to make sure you're ready for the psychological aspect of the job:  Interfacing with your Boss.","Mr. Krabs, can I have a raise?"
"Mr. Krabs: No. Narrator: Good job, Mr. SquarePants.",Can I make a Krabby Patty now-
"Narrator: Now we go from behind the scenes to the front lines, where we'll examine the most important aspect of the industry, the customer. Or as we like to say, the Krustomer! Patrick:  Who said that? Are you a ghost? Narrator: Like precious, precious blood in an animal, customers are what makes the Krusty Krab strong and alive. Patrick: Squidward, your ceiling is talking to me. Squidward: Are you going to order something or just make friends with the paneling? Patrick: Uhh... I'll have an uhh... uhh... uhh... ah...  Huh? What's that? Squidward: Patrick, go be stupid somewhere else. Narrator: Ah-ah-ah, Squidward, remember what Mr. Krabs says. Mr. Krabs:  The money is always right! Patrick: The ceiling is right, Squidward. You're not a very good employee. Squidward: Fine! May I please take your order? Patrick: I'll have uhh... uhhhh... Narrator: We'll check up on these two later.  Right now, it's important that we discuss an Emergency Situation!  Like the lost gold of Atlantis, many consider the Krabby Patty to be a treasure. And as with every treasure, there's a thief ready to steal it. So it's up to you to be the watchful eyes of...  What's this?  It's Mr. Krabs business rival, Plankton! Plankton: Eat my microscopic dust, Krabs! Your secret formula is finally mine! Narrator: He's stealing the formula! What are you going to do, Mr. SquarePants?! Plankton: You'll never catch me, Krabs! Not after I switch into MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE!  Hi-ya!  I knew I should've gotten the turbo.  Hear me, Krabs! You'll take this Krabby Patty from me when you pry it from my cold, dead...  Felicitations, malefactors! I am encountering my minions. And I know just how to speak their language- Narrator: And so, another emergency is avoided, thanks to Mr. SquarePants.  Let's check in on Squidward again. Psst, Squidward. Squidward: Huh? Narrator: Just remember: POOP. Squidward: Patrick, if I could make a suggestion. Why don't you just order a Krabby Patty? Patrick: Great idea, Squidward! One Krabby Patty, please. Squidward:  Will that be for here or to go? Patrick: Uhhh... Narrator: Hang in there, Squidward, it's all part of the job.  Now that you've learned the basics of your training, it's time for the moment you've been waiting for.  Da-da-da-da-da-da-daa, Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-daa, Da-da-da-da-da-da-daa Da-da-da-la-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-daa, Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-daa, tssshh Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-daa-da-da-da-da-daa, Ti-ta-ti-ti-ta-ti-ti-ta-ta-ta-la-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-da-la-ba-ba-ba-ba-da-la-ba-ba-baa, Ti-ta-ti-li-ta-ti-li-ti-taa, Ti-ta-ti-li  Ti-ta-ti-li-ta-ti-li-ta-ti-li-ta-ti-li-ta-ti-li-ti-ta-ti-ti-ta-ti-ti-taaaaa. Preparing the Krabby Patty! At the center of every great dynasty is the crown jewel, which keeps it alive and thriving! For the Krusty Krab, this is the Krabby Patty.  And now you, the humble employee of the industry, the all too necessary human resource that keeps this business afloat will earn the sacred and dark secrets of how to prepare with your very own hands...  the sumptuous, the lip moistening, spine tingling, heart stopping pleasure center that is the Krabby Patty! Are you ready?  Are you sure?  Okay! The secret formula is- Squidward:  One Krabby Patty for table two. SpongeBob, I don't have the whole day.","Oui, oui. Un Krabby Patty, Monsieur. First, les patty."
"Squidward: Come on, SpongeBob!","Next, les ingredients.  Ah, oui!  Les mustard."
"Squidward:  Les quit fooling around, where's my Krabby Patty?",Les hold on a second!  And voila!  It's under your nose!
"Squidward:  You're killing me, SpongeBob! Ha ha ha... you really are. .","Look at it, Squidward. Mr. Krabs' gift to all of Bikini Bottom -- the Krabby Patty.."
"Squidward: Okay, give it to me.  Come on SpongeBob, stop it!",I swear I'm not doing anything. Mr. Krabs! The Krabby Patty is haunted!
"Mr. Krabs: Avast, ye patty pirate! This is no ghost. This is...  Plankton! Stealing me booty! Plankton: Hear me, Krabs! When I discover your formula for Krabby Patties, I'll run you out of business! I went to college!  Hey! Let me go! Mr. Krabs: Oh, I'll let you go, squirt. On a flying saucer!  Back to the Chum Bucket with you! Plankton: You'll pay for this, Krabs!","Uh... Plankton, sir?"
"Mr. Krabs: Aye, he's been trying to steal me secret formula for years, but you haven't got it yet, have ye, bug?  Okay.  Enough, lad, it wasn't that funny.  Get back to work!","Okay, Mr. Krabs, see you tomorrow!"
"Mr. Krabs: Good night, me boy! Plankton:  Psst... young man.  Yes, over here. Come on, boy, a little closer.  Closer...  Not that close!  You blasted barnacle head! I mean... hi.",Plankton? What do you want?
"Plankton: I just want to talk. You could say we're friends, right?",Um... no.
Plankton: Acquaintances?,No.
"Plankton: Well, we're both invertebrates, aren't we?",I... guess so.
"Plankton: You see? Everything works out. I have something for you. I've been keeping it in my secret compartment.  Ching!  Sparkle, sparkle.",Wow! A golden spatula! And it's even got my name on it.
"Plankton: It's a gift! A gift from a friend.  Friends give each other gifts, and tomorrow is my birthday.  And you know what I'd like more than anything in the whole wide world? .",A booster seat?
"Plankton: Booster seat? Hot dog! I mean, no. What I want for my birthday from you, my friend, is one of those  tender... delicious... Krabby Patties!",You just want to be friends so you can get your hands on a Krabby Patty! And I bet it's not even your birthday tomorrow!
"Plankton: Gee, and I thought you were stupid.","You'll never get a Krabby Patty from me!  Even if we are friends!  Never, never, never, never!"
"Plankton: Oh, I'll get a Krabby Patty and you're gonna hand-deliver it to me personally! You weak-minded fool!","Good night, Gary."
"Plankton:  SpongeBob, you will be mine! Woman in the recording: ♪Letters of the alphabet, A-B-C...♪ Plankton: It should be in here... but where?  Where? Oh...  This will be the beginning of the end!  Ouch! Stupid brain...  Come back here, you swine!  That's it, brain, you're going down!  Yes, yes, that's grand.  And now, for my very elaborate and college-educated plan.  And now, it's time for a little wakey-uppy.",Morning already?  I... I feel a little funny today.
Plankton: I have you now!,"Time for a well-balanced breakfast.  This isn't what I had in mind.  Let me just grab my pants.  I guess I'm not wearing any pants today.  I guess I'm not using the door either. See you later, Gary! ...I guess.  You're right, Gary! There is something wrong with me! Squidward! Squidward! Wake up! I need some help!  Squidward! Help!"
"Squidward: Be quiet, SpongeBob!",Help!
"Squidward: SpongeBob! What are you doing? I'm talking to you! SpongeBob! SpongeBob, are you mad? Plankton:  Shut your mouth, you mediocre clarinet player. Squidward: Mediocre? Plankton: You pretentious, little insignificant artist. Your snivelly creations are worth less than a protozoan's waste!",Something must be wrong with my brain!  Plankton!  What kind of friend are you?
"Plankton: Nonsense. You never liked me, anyway. You wouldn't even come to my birthday party!",Get out of my head! Leave my brain alone!
Plankton: Never! Never!  Toot toot! How about a little take-out?,"No! No, never!  You can't fool me, Plankton, you want the Krabby Patty formula!"
Plankton: You are going to hand-deliver it to me personally!,"No, no, no!  There's no one here."
"Plankton: Don't remind me. Brace yourself, SpongeBob. This is my lab!  And this is my laboratory! And did I ever show you my record player?",I must fight!
"Plankton: No, no, no, no.  There, you see how much easier it is when you help, friend? How do you like my analyzer? It tells the ingredients of whatever I put into it. Karen Plankton: Seaweed: 50% Sea, 50% Weed. Plankton: Impressed? Now let's reveal that secret formula.  And this little piggy brought home a Krabby Patty.  This little piggy will help me drop it in. Any last words, SpongeBob SecretPants?","I just have to say I'm sorry I let Mr. Krabs down.  I let all of Bikini Bottom down. But worst of all, I let you down,  you delicate little Krabby Patty."
Plankton: Mmm...,"With your tasty, juicy, scrumptious, warm, steamy goodness."
Plankton: Steamy...,"I'll never forget your 100% all-secret patty, secretly assembled with undersea cheese, pickles, lettuce, tomato, onion, all secretly steamed between two fluffy seaweed-sea buns."
"Plankton: Yes... yes... yes!  Come to papa!  Oh, boy... Karen: Plankton: 1% evil, 99% hot gas. Plankton: Well, this stinks.","Well, patty, I guess we can go home now."
"Plankton: SpongeBob, that's my Krabby Patty!  Give it back, you porous freak! I command you! My patty!  Nooooo! I'll settle for some fries. Band Member #1: Man, this is gonna be our most rocking tour, ever. Band Member #2:  Yeah. Ned: Hey, dudes, check out the debut of my new look. Band Member #1: Whoa, what's that on your head? Band Member #3: Yeah, is that a wig or a pile of toilet paper? Ned: C'mon, guys, give it a chance. Band Member #2: Let me try it on. Ned: Hey, you've revealed my shiny dome! Band Member #2: Hot potato. Catch! Ned: Give it back, man! Band Member #2: If you want it, you gotta catch it, dude. Band Member #1: Oops. Ned: Ah! Oh, man, my beautiful wig!","I'm ready! I'm rea...  Ah, what is this? Curly tresses, poofy texture,  itchy scalp...  it's a wig!  Hi, Patrick. How do you like my new wig?"
Patrick:  I'll save you.,Pa... trick... what are... you doing?
Patrick: I'm saving you from that brain-eating alien that's attacking your...  ...head!,"Patrick, the only thing attacking me is you!"
"Patrick:  Oh, sorry.",It's okay.  Why did you do that?
"Patrick:  Well, I thought it was a new type of cotton candy you wear on your head.","Well, it's not, but that is an excellent idea."
Patrick: Then what is it?,It's my new look. I'm wearing a wig.
"Patrick: A wig?  Oh, boy. Don't you think that's a little silly?  Oh, man, it's time for my weekly condiment soak.  Do you mind? Fish #1: Nice wig.",Thanks. I am very fashionable today.
"Tina: Hey, SquareFashion, nice couture.","Why, thank you."
"Pilar: So then...  Huh...? Peterson: Nice do, SpongeBob. Pilar: Yeah, where can I get one? Sally: Whoa. That wig really suits you.","Hi, Squidward!"
Squidward:  Who? What? Where? What? How?,"Notice anything different about me today, Squidward? Huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh? ...Huh?"
Squidward: Nope.,I'm wearing a wig.
"Squidward: Oh yeah, how could I have missed it?",Can you believe I found it lying around in the street?
Squidward: Umm...maybe.,"If you want to, after work, we can go look for a wig for you."
Squidward: I can't wait.,"Wig away!  Order up, Squidward."
"Squidward: Mr. Krabs!  I've served a lot of junk here, but a hair patty? Mr. Krabs:  SpongeBob!","Yes, Mr. Krabs?"
"Mr. Krabs: What in Davy Jones' locker is on your head, son?","Oh, that's my new wig, Mr. Krabs."
"Mr. Krabs: Well, take it off. The hair's getting into the patties.","Take it off? But I can't, Mr. Krabs. My wig makes everyone so happy."
Mr. Krabs: Happy?,"Ever since I've been wearing it, everyone I see gets a big grin on their face."
Mr. Krabs: I can imagine.,"Oh, please let me keep it, Mr. Krabs."
"Sandy: There you are, SpongeBob. Are you ready for karate prac...tice?","I see you've noticed my new wig. Pretty impressive, huh?"
Sandy: Wig's... uh great...SpongeBob.,"Glad you like it.  I'll see you later, Sandy.  Two krabby patties and a side order of looking good."
"Frank: Nice wig. Abigail: Like to keep in style, huh?",You know it.
"Francis: Off to meet the queen, Sir Nerdlaroy?","Uh, the name's SpongeBob and no, I am not meeting royalty. You must be referring to my regal appearance.  Thank you all for your kind words. I wish I could give you such nice wigs."
"Jimmy: How 'bout a little off the top? Tom: Yeah, your wig is big enough to go around.","This isn't good. Everyone's getting jealous.  Squidward, I'll be hiding in the kitchen if you need me."
"Squidward: Hide your shame, SpongeBob. Hide your shame. Record Producer: Well, well, well, Ned and the Needlefish. You're fired. Band: Fired?! Band Member #2: But why? Record Producer: Ask Baldy McBalderson over here. Band: Ned! Band Member #2: Good going, dude. Ned: I can't help not having hair! Band Member #3: When we formed this band, it was for one reason and one reason only: to make a lot of money. And you not having hair is getting in the way of that! Record Producer: We are selling records, not denture cream!  Either you come back with hair, or don't come back at all! Mr. Krabs:  Time to go home, boys.","Almost finished.  See, Squidward, it's functional, too."
Squidward: It's about as functional as your brain.,"Thank you, Squidward."
Squidward: That wasn't a compliment! The entire town is laughing at you!,I don't understand.
Squidward:  Just look at yourself.,"Hello, handsome.  Sss."
"Squidward: SpongeBob, your head is twice as large as before!","Hmmm, I've never been tall before."
Squidward: That wig is infested with parasites!,That tickles!
Squidward: Can't you see how ridiculous you look?,I think that it looks cool.
Mr. Krabs: Hahahaha! You wouldn't know cool if I locked you in the freezer!,"For your information, Mr. Krabs, Squidward has locked me in the freezer, so I think I know what cool is."
"Mr. Krabs: Well, stop wearing that nasty thing to work!","But, Mr. Krabs..."
Mr. Krabs: No buts!,So I can't have a wig or a butt?
"Mr. Krabs: No, SpongeBob, it means until you get rid of that wig, get your butt outta here! Sandy: I never got a chance to talk to SpongeBob yesterday. I was laughing too hard.  SpongeBob? Huh?","Hi, Sandy. What do you think?"
Sandy: We need to talk.,Why would I want to get rid of my wig? Look at how happy it makes everybody.
"Sandy: Well, it does attract a lot of attention.",I know. People just can't keep their eyes off of me.
"Sandy: Neither can I, SpongeBob. Martha: It's true, John, this isn't my real hair! I stole it!","Oops. Pardon me. Excuse me. Pardon me. Pardon me.  and SpongeBob trips over it. SpongeBob gets his wig stuck in some cheese on the floor. Get sunstuck but a soda is still in the wig] Hey, the wig broke my fall!  Mmm, popcorn.  Ah, you always come through for me."
"Dale:  Hey buddy, do you mind?",Shhh! It's very rude to talk during a movie!
"Sandy: Well, they can't. Look, your stupid wig is blocking the whole screen. All:  Fish #1: Take it off, Jerk!; Fish #2: Hey!; Fish #3: Hey! Down in front!; Fish #4: Take the wig off!","People, return your attention to the movie. I know my wig is glamorous and exciting but there is no need to start a riot."
"Frank:  I told you that movie was terrible. Sandy: Now do you see what I'm saying, SpongeBob?","I guess you're right, Sandy. I got so much enjoyment out of the wig, myself, I assumed everyone else did, too."
Sandy: It's time to be strong.,"I know.  I just want you to know that even though I didn't know you existed a few days ago, I can't imagine life without you!"
"Sandy: Hurry up, SpongeBob.","No matter what they say, you'll always be cool to me.  I'll never accessorize again."
"Sandy: You did the right thing, SpongeBob. Ned: Where am I gonna get some hair? My career is ruined. Ruined!  Can it be? It is! My wig. Yes! Victory is mine.","Wigs. Wigs, wigs, they're everywhere."
"Debbie: Oh, he's got your hair. Shubie: Thank you. Patrick:  SpongeBob.",Patrick! At least he's not wearing a wig.
Patrick: Look at my new wig.,"Everyone's wearing wigs! Everyone! I'm starting to feel a little betrayed. Hey, you made fun of me yesterday. I thought powdered wigs were uncool."
"Fish #1: Yeah, they were. But look...","Wow. Ned and the Needlefish wearing my wig. So, I was cool before anyone else?"
"Fish #1: Yes, you were. But not anymore. See ya!",I wish I had a wig.
"Patrick: Don't be sad, SpongeBob. You can borrow one of mine.  Just wash it before you return it. Mr. Krabs: Don't cry, love. Daddy's going to make it all right. Calm down, girl!","Mr. Krabs, what's wrong with Pearl?"
"Mr. Krabs: Her scurvy prom date stood her up, boy, and now, she can't seem to find another. Pearl: That's because there's only one fish in the sea that's long, tan and handsome as he is. And that's him! Mr. Krabs: No, no, baby, no more crying. We'll get you a date. Why, uhh... I'll take ya!  Well, what about Squidward? Mr. Krabs: Wait, wait. Here, take SpongeBob! Pearl: Ahh! the fry cook? Do you know what that would do to my complexion? People would mistake me for a planetarium. Mr. Krabs: What do you mean? Pearl: I don't know. But I can't take him, daddy! They'll kick me off the most frequently pictured in the yearbook committee. Mr. Krabs: Yeah, they would. We've got to find someone else. Listen up! Which one of you lucky lubbers wants to take me lovely daughter Pearl to the prom? Pearl: Just don't be late, SpongeBob. Mr. Krabs: Now listen, boy, I'm-a counting on you to make this a very special night for a very special girl. Remember, you're doing it for good old Mr...","Oh, hi, Mr. Krabs! Are you talking to that dummy I made? It's pretty realistic isn't it?  I made this part out of..."
"Mr. Krabs: Never mind that, boy! You're taking Pearl to her prom!","Really? Oh, wow! Don't worry, Mr. Krabs, I am a prom expert!  Oh, Gary, I'm a prom failure. I couldn't even get a date for my own junior prom."
Gary: Meow.,"No, that was Patrick who brought his mom. Besides, how am I supposed to compare with Pearl's old boyfriend, Mr. Long, Tan and Handsome?"
Gary: Meow.,"What is it, Gary? What do you have?  Hey, Gary, this magazine gives me an idea!  Long.  Tan.  Handsome. Okay, Gary, wait ‘til Pearl gets an eyeful of this!"
"Mr. Krabs: Hello?  What do you think, Pearl? Cleans up pretty well, doesn't he? Pearl:  Well, at last no one will recognize you. Now listen, SpongeBob, I just want to get through this with my social status intact.  I want to go to the prom, get my picture taken, and I want to dance...  ...I want to drink punch with my friends and don't do that other thing you're always doing...","Uhh, Pearl, we've got to get back to the limo."
"Pearl:  A limo! Why didn't you say so?  I love limousines! Mr. Krabs: Go easy on him, lassie! I can't afford to break in a new fry cook!","Well, I guess the first thing we should do is..."
Pearl: Yay! My first prom picture!,Uh-uh-uh... our first prom picture.
"Pearl: Let's get this over with.  Come on, SpongeBob!",Be right there.
Pearl: Will you hurry up?,Just a second. Coming!  Sorry! Pardon me! Here I am...! Cheese...!  That'll be a keeper.
"Judy: Hey, look, it's Pearl! Hi, Pearl! Pearl: SpongeBob, here come my friends. Uhh, go get me some punch!",Prom expert; away!
"Judy & Friend: Hi, Pearl! Pearl: Hi, girls. Judy: I'd like you to meet Billy Fishkins! Billy: Meep. Friend: And you know Brian Flounder from math class. Brian: Meep. Pearl: Hi Brian. Friend: So, like, where's your date, Pearl? We're all dying to meet him. Pearl: He's over at the punch bowl getting me some punch. Judy: Ohh, is he the really tall one? Pearl: Oh, yes!  I mean... Oh no.  Oh, quick, let's go see how ugly Cindy's dress is!  SpongeBob, what are you doing?!","Hi, Pearl! Come on, it won't bite!"
Pearl: You look ridiculous!,What is it?
"Pearl: Get down, he'll see us! It's my ex-boyfriend, Octavius Rex, a.k.a. long, tan and handsome! Octavius: Meep.","Whoa. But, I bet he isn't holder of the Regional Romance Dance Championship trophy!"
Anchovy: Give me that back.,That just didn't happen. Let's go!  Ready?
"Pearl: SpongeBob, what are you doing? Can't you see everybody here is doing 'the whack'?","The whack? Oh, yeah, I invented that one."
"Pearl: Are you sure you can do this? Painter: Aaah! a monster! Pearl: Well, I guess you can take me home now, now that you've ruined everything!","Don't cry, the prom expert is here! I haven't failed yet!  Hey, we can still... no, I broke that. We could... no. Don't cry! D-d-don't cry.  Whatever you do, don't..."
"Judy: Wow, what did you do to him? Poor little guy. Pearl:  Sponge, are you okay?",— Messed everything up.
"Pearl: Don't worry, SpongeBob, ya didn't mess everything up.",— Hot dog!
"Pearl: Actually, it was pretty funny when that hot dog landed in Judy's hair.",All I wanted was to have a good time!
"Pearl: But I am having a good time! Ya know, we haven't finished our dance yet.",Can I still wear the wig?
"Pearl: Yes, you can still wear the wig.",Let's go!
"♪All right, you invertebrates. I'm gonna teach you how to do The Sponge. Well, first you take your leg and you stick it in the air, And then you take the other one and jam it right up there, You twist yourself around and give a great big lunge, Now you're doin' The Sponge. Huh, do The Sponge, Sponge, oh do The Sponge, Beat your buns you're doin' The Sponge. Well, now, first you take your leg And you stick it in the air, And then you take the other one, And you jam it right up there, You twist yourself around And you give a great big lunge, Now you're doin', yeah, now you're doin' The Sponge.♪ Pearl:  Get lost, pizza topping! Can't you see I'm doing the Sponge? Angry crowd: Get out! SpongeBob & Pearl: They love us! Yay, we're popular! Angry crowd: And don't come back! Long, tan and handsome Anchovy leader: Go wreck someone else's prom, will ya?","Gee whiz, Pearl. I'm sorry tonight didn't go out like you planned."
"Pearl: Oh, don't worry, SpongeBob, I knew it would be a total disaster all along. But as long as disasters go, that was really fun. Mr. Krabs: A-ha! Keep away from me precious little flower!  You almost stepped on it. Pearl: Oh, daddy! Well, good night, short, yellow and spongy. SpongeBob? Mr. Krabs: Good job, laddie.","Ah, there you are, dummy! You sure come in handy! . May I help you, sir?"
Orange customer: I'd like that table over by the window.,As soon as the present customers are done with it. They like to chew their food thoroughly.
"Mary: 97... 98... 99... Old Man Walker: Don't rush me, woman! Orange customer: Perhaps this will speed up the process.",How will that help them chew faster?
"Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, what's the problem?","No problem, I was just telling this customer he needed to wait for his favorite table."
"Orange customer: Five bucks if I get the table now. Mary: Ow, my hip. Mr. Krabs: Enjoy your meal. Let me know if you need anything else.",Why did you give him the table?
Mr. Krabs: You know what they say: Money Talks.,I didn't know money could talk. Did it tell you to kick those old people out?  What do you have against old people?
"Mr. Krabs: Don't go goofy on me, boy. Money can't really talk. Only fish can talk.",Wouldn't it be neat if money could talk?
Mr. Krabs:  Yeah. Wait a minute... Squidward: What's that music?,I think Mr. Krabs is gonna sing.
"Squidward: Oh, great. Mr. Krabs: ♪If I could talk to money, how great my life would be. We'd tell each other secrets, all their friends would visit me. I'd bathe in filthy riches, which is clean enough for me. Oh, if you could tell me what you want, how happy we would be. We'd surely be the best of friends, we'd never disagree. There wouldn't be a downside, not one that I could see. If I could talk to money, come along, sing with me.♪ Squidward: Uh, no thanks, I got to go.",I really have to pee.
"Mr. Krabs: ♪If I could talk to money, and it could talk to me. We'd always be the best of friends, for all eternity.♪ Patrick:  What did I miss? Mr. Krabs: ♪Oh...♪  ♪If I could talk to money, how great my life...♪  Parlez vous Francais? Hable Español? Ou-yay eak-spay ig-pay atin-lay? Mm-hmm. Maybe this will make you talk. Talk! You're being too hard on the little guy. You can talk to me. I'm your friend.  I would give anything to talk to money. Anything! Flying Dutchman: Anything? Mr. Krabs: You? Flying Dutchman: That's right. 'Tis I, the ominous Flying Dutchman. I'll grant your wish, but it'll cost you. Mr. Krabs: Yeah, yeah, my immortal soul. I've heard that speech before. Flying Dutchman: Wha...? Well, uh, great. But be warned! Mr. Krabs: Yeah, yeah, skip the lecture. I want what's coming to me. Flying Dutchman: Humph, you're no fun at all, you know that? Mr. Krabs: Hey, is that pixie dust?  Whew, that was a strange dream. Nickel: You think that was a strange dream? I dreamt I was trapped in a prison made of peanut butter. Mr. Krabs: Who said that? Nickel: Down here. Mr. Krabs: Hey, it's a nickel. What were you doing in my belly button, little fella? Nickel: I got stuck in there during your last coin shower.  I don't want to talk about it. Mr. Krabs:  Do you have anything to say to me? Dollar Bill:  Yeah, when was the last time you brushed your teeth? Mr. Krabs: It worked! I can talk to money. Oh... Nickel:  Please, don't start singing again. Mr. Krabs: Don't worry, darlings. Soon you'll be rejoined with all your friends. Mary: Oh, my, why don't you kiss me like that? Old Man Walker: Don't start. Squidward: That'll be five dollars. Five-Dollar Bill: Hey, dudes. Money: Run, jump! Jump out! Jump out! Mr. Krabs:  Good morning, my darlings. Money: Good morning, Mr Krabs. Mr. Krabs: You're coming home with me. Money: Yay! Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, I did it. I can talk to money.  Go ahead, say hello.",Hello... money.
"Mr. Krabs:  Oh, aren't they a riot?",I'm starting to worry about Mr Krabs.
"Squidward: I'm worried he just left with my paycheck. Mr. Krabs: Now that we're alone, let's tell each other secrets. One-Dollar: What kind of secrets are you talking about? Dime: Yeah, we live in a safe. Money: Yeah! Mr. Krabs: You have any friends you can invite over? One-Dollar: Aren't we enough for you? Dime: Yeah, what's wrong with us? Money: Yeah! Mr. Krabs: Nothing, nothing. You guys are great. I thought you guys might want some company, you know, to make you happy. Money: Why don't you ask what would make us happy? Mr. Krabs: Okay, so how can I make you happy? Money: Spend us! Mr. Krabs: What? Dime: We're money. It's in our nature. One-Dollar: I've been trapped in that safe for eight years. I always wanted to be spent on a fairy princess outfit. Mr. Krabs: What? No way. Ten-Dollar: I want to be spent on corn dogs. Five-Dollar: I want to be spent on diapers. Money: Yeah, yeah, me too. Mr. Krabs: Oh, wait a minute. I am not spending you on corn dogs, diapers, or fairy princess outfits. Clerk: Did you find everything ok? Mr. Krabs:  Unfortunately. Money: All right!","Mr. Krabs, lookin' good."
Patrick:  What's wrong with Mr. Krabs?,I don't know. He's acting kind of weird.
"Money:  Spend us. Spend us. Mr. Krabs: I can't spend all of you. And none of you want to be spent on stuff I want. Money: Spend us. Mr. Krabs: Ah, you're all shallow and self-absorbed. What did I ever see in you? Money: Spend us. Mr. Krabs: I'm not listening. Money: Spend us. Mr. Krabs: I'm not...  SpongeBob?","Hi, Mr. Krabs. I just came by to make sure you weren't, you know, totally insane."
Mr. Krabs:  Take this bag as far away as possible and bury it.  Ah! What have I done?  Give me that back!,"Okay, glad you're not insane."
"Mr. Krabs:  Dutchman, you cheated me. Take this horrible curse away!  I want a refund. Flying Dutchman: All sales are final from the Flying Dutchman, especially for a selfish shellfish like yourself. Try saying that three times fast. Your soul's going into me fanny pack of despair.  Now pay up. Huh?  An I.O.U. ? Mr. Krabs: Hehe, yeah, well, I sort of sold my soul already. Flying Dutchman: What? To who? Mr. Krabs: To those guys. Monster: We were here first, pops. Monster #2: We've all got a claim on Krabs's soul. Monster: Get to the back of the line. Mr. Krabs: Now, now, I'm sure we can sort this out. Flying Dutchman: You too, SpongeBob?","He was five bucks short on payday. Hi, Squidward! Bet you can't guess what movie we're gonna see! That's okay. I'll tell you. It's Fisher..."
Squidward:  Ah. You may speak.,Patrick and I are gonna see Fisherman 4!
Squidward: Ha! You two won't sleep a wink tonight if you see that movie.,"Squidward, you are looking at two very grown up big boys."
Patrick: Yeah. Nothing can scare us. Squidward:  Boo. SpongeBob and Patrick::,Ahem. We'll show Squidward. We're not afraid of any old movie.
SpongeBob and Patrick: Whoa! Patrick: We're lost.,I wish we had a flashlight.
Cinema Anglerfish: Take your seats! SpongeBob and Patrick:,"Seats taken, sir. Ooh, the movie's starting!"
SpongeBob and Patrick: Shubie: Shhh!,Sorry.  So isn't too scary.  The Fisherman's hook! Get off the teeter totter!
Patrick: You fools! SpongeBob and Patrick:,The Fisherman's got him!
Patrick: And he'll fry them into fish sticks! I can't watch! Is the scary part over?,"Hold on, I'll take a peek."
"Edwina: Thank you for meeting me, Edwina, at midnight.","Patrick, it's okay."
"Patrick: You sure?  It's worse!  They're kissing! Edwina: I love you, Susie. Jennifer: It's Jennifer. Edwina: I'll never leave you, Jennifer.  Goodbye, Margaret! SpongeBob and Patrick: The Fisherman! People:","Uh, sorry, sorry, sorry!"
SpongeBob and Patrick: {{L|Narrator|Two hours later... Patrick: See if it's safe.,"Aww, the movie's over."
"Patrick: Oh, dang. We hardly even saw it.","Well, we'll watch it again. And this time, all the way through.  Okay. Keep your eyes open."
Patrick: No problem. Kid Fish in Movie: I love eating ice cream.,"Patrick, I'm getting scared. Hold my eyelids open."
Patrick: I'm on it.,D'ohhhh!
Kid Fish in Movie: Hey! My ice cream!  No! It was rocky road!,Must close eyes! Too scary!
Patrick: I can't hold your eyelids—they're too slippery!  Ow!,"Oh, no, we missed the movie."
Patrick: What?! Not again!,"It's okay, we'll just see the next one."
Cinema Anglerfish: I'm afraid not. That was the last showing.,"Wow. Uh, what time is it?"
Cinema Anglerfish: It is one minute to midnight.,One... minute... to midnight?!
Patrick: But that's when the Fisherman comes out!,"Come on, Patrick, we've got to get home!"
SpongeBob & Patrick:   The Fisherman!  '' It's midnight! The Fisherman!,Phew. We made it.
Patrick: I guess we showed that old horror movie who's boss.,Yeah. We looked fear right in the face and... avoided direct eye contact.
Patrick: It's like we're heroes.,"Okay, buddy. Sleep tight. I'll see you tomorrow."
"Patrick: Wait a second. Y-You mean, I gotta walk all the way home alone?","No. No, you don't. I'm gonna walk you to your door."
Patrick: Darn old horror movie. Why couldn't we watch a cartoon instead?  Do you hear that?,I think it's coming from over there.
SpongeBob & Patrick: It's the Fisherman!,"Oh, it's just Slasher McGee. Okay, I guess I'll just go home now. It's right over there.  Just a few steps that away.  In the dark? All alone?"
"Patrick: Oh, okay-kay, come on now, don't be all scared. I'll walk you home.","Aw, thanks, old pal. But then, who's gonna walk you home?"
Patrick: Let's just cross that bridge when we burn it. SpongeBob and Patrick: The Fisherman! Squidward: What is wrong with you?!,"Oh, hey, Squidward."
Squidward: What are you blockheads up to? Don't you know it's after midnight? Get down here! Patrick: We can't get home.,"We're too scared. Thank you, Squidward. You are a true friend."
"Patrick: Thanks, Squidwar...","Yeah, thanks, Squidward. I don't think we would've ever gotten home with you."
Squidward: Hat.,"Oh, yeah. Here."
Squidward: I told those muttonheads not to see that movie.,Patrick! Are you okay?
Patrick: Yeah! Are you okay?,I think so! Good night!
"Patrick: Yeah., good night! Just don't think about the Fisherman!","Oh, no, I will not think about the Fisherman! Sleep tight!"
"Squidward: Oh, The Fisherman. The Fisherman. Blah, blah, blah. They want a Fisherman, eh? I'll give them a Fisherman! And how!  No.  No.  Um... no.  Aha!  It's time for those lame-brains to meet the real Fisherman.  This is gonna be good. Patrick: Uh, hello? Someone there?  Uh, uh? What's that?  There's something stuck...  Huh.  Oh, wait a second. Oh, yeah. That's the spot. A little to the left.  Oh, yeah. All right. Right there. Squidward: Gotcha! Patrick:  The Fisherman! Squidward: Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.  SpongeBob! Get up! He's here!","Who's here? Hold on, let me get up.  Your face!"
Patrick: Oh.  There.,Now who's here?
"Patrick: Uh, someone's here?",You just said.
Patrick: Oh. The Fisherman's here.,The Fisherman!
Patrick: The Fisherman! SpongeBob & Patrick: Squidward: Ha Ha Ha Ha. This is the most perfect. What a couple of hopeless babies. I really should stop. But I'm having too much fun. (goes in SpongeBob's house) Ha. It's almost too easy.,Quick. Block the door.
Squidward: There's just no sport in it.,Get everything?
Patrick: What about this? (Patrick holds Gary),Not Gary. Think it'll hold?
"Patrick: I sure hope so. (SpongeBob and Patrick look into window and sees Squidward, laughing) SpongeBob & Patrick: (scream as Squidward opens the window and then scream again) Patrick: Maybe if we don't look at him he'll go away.","Oh yeah. Just like the movie. (they close their eyes, later open them to see Squidward behind them)"
Squidward: I'm the Deadly Fisherman! SpongeBob & Patrick:  (scream),"I guess this is the end, old buddy."
Patrick: I don't want to die in my underwear!,Here. (SpongeBob takes off his underwear) Die in mine.
Patrick: Hey. Good idea. Let's trade. (Patrick takes off his underwear) Here you go.,"And here you go. (SpongeBob and Patrick trade underwears and puts on their underwears) Now where were we? Oh, yeah."
SpongeBob & Patrick:  He's gonna turn us into fish sticks! Squidward: SpongeBob & Patrick:  (scream),That thing's eating Squidward!
"Patrick: Not our bestest buddy! We gotta save him! Okay, play 33. I need you to go long. And... break. You're going down, Fisherman!","Don't worry, Squidward. We'll get you out of that old monster. Let's get to the window.  Okay! I think you got it!   Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, there, there, no need to thank us. We were only doing what friends to for the bestest buddy. Well, I guess we don't have to worry about that old monster anymore."
"Squidward: Huh? SpongeBob & Patrick: Gary: Meow. Flying Dutchman:  Curse this cursed, ghostly fog. I can barely see past me own nose.  Urrgh!   Arrgh!  Me ship.  Hello, Roadside Assistance? I've got a bit of a flat! My location where I'll be staying? Business or residence?  Residence.  Argh!",The Flying Dutchman!  What are you doing in my house?
"Flying Dutchman: I'm stuck here while my ship is being repaired. Until then, I'm here to haunt ya!",Squidward! Squidward!  Squidward! Help!
Squidward: Ow! Ow! Ow! Ooh! Ee! Ow! Ee! Ooh!,"Squidward, you have to help me! There's a gh-gh-gh, a ghost in my house!"
"Squidward:  SpongeBob, how many times do I have to tell you? I don't believe in ghosts and I never liked you!","PATRICK! Patrick! Patrick! Patrick!  Patrick, you gotta help me! The Flying Dutch...  ...man.  Gary!  Don't you dare hurt my little Gary!"
Gary: Meow.  Meow!,Gary!
Flying Dutchman:  Nothing better than giving a good scare! Argh!,"It's okay, Gary."
Flying Dutchman:  Don't get too comfortable!,"Goodnight, Gary."
Flying Dutchman: Hmm?  Hmm?,"Um, Dutchie? Is this gonna be much longer?"
"Flying Dutchman: Why aren't you freakin' out, lad?","Well, you've been here a while, and, uhh, I've seen all your tricks."
Flying Dutchman: What are you trying to say?,Eeeh.
Flying Dutchman: I know when I'm washed up. I've been doing the same material for years! Scaring is a young man's game. It's time to give up the ghost; no pun intended.,"Oh, no, no. I meant that I'm just used to it, that's all."
Flying Dutchman: Don't lie to me!,You just gotta scare someone other than me.
"Flying Dutchman: Hmm... Fish: Mind if I test it out?  Yeah, this does feel comfortable. Mattress Salesman: Would you excuse me for a moment? Flying Dutchman: Grr!  Raargh! Raargh! Move! Raargh!  Ah, forget it. Mattress Salesman: So, what do you think? Flying Dutchman: It's official; I'm not scary anymore.","Just what kinda talk is that? You're just off your game, that's all."
"Flying Dutchman: Maybe I just need a break. Take some time off, you know?","Sure, relax a little."
Flying Dutchman: Maybe stay with a friend for a while. On a comfy couch in a pineapple. Just for a little while longer? 'Til I get back on my feet? Narrator: 6 Months Later...,"Hey, champ! How's it..."
"Red Ghost: Turn it up... Purple Ghost: Turn the knob up. Yellow Ghost: Whoo! Flying Dutchman: Who'd guess we have so much in common? You like teddy bears; I like teddy bears. You like ponies; I like ponies! Nancy: Is that a wedding ring? Flying Dutchman: Oh, this? Oh, it's nothing.",What is going on around here?
"Flying Dutchman: Come on, SpongeBob, don't be a stick in the mud! Purple Ghost: Look out below!  How was that? Flying Dutchman: Even better the third time.","Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no! Everyone, get out!"
"Flying Dutchman: Alrighty, boys, party's over.  Time to scoot, honey.",Dutchie! Do you wanna spend eternity on this couch?
"Flying Dutchman: Well, it is comfy.",Look in the mirror. You're a ghost of your former self!
"Flying Dutchman: Ah, you're right, SpongeBob. I'm pathetic.","Yes, you are. But we're going to raise you up from your squalled conditions through the use of visual aids. Watch now."
Flying Dutchman: What in barnacles is it?,A journey into self-awareness.
Fish: The power within. The power within. Fish #2:  The power within. The power within. The power within. The power within.  The power within. The power within.  The power within! Yeah. Flying Dutchman: That was beautiful!,"Now get off of that couch and into your clothes, Dutchman! It's time to get serious.  Let's start you off easy. You think you can take that old lady down there?"
Flying Dutchman: What are you kidding me? Scaring her is too easy.,Now that's the Flying Dutchman I know. Let's see you put those words into action.
"Flying Dutchman: No problemo, compadre.  Yargh! Old Lady: Lonnie is that you? Flying Dutchman: What? No! 'Tis I, the ominous Flying Dutchman! Old Lady: Lonnie, there's this great new product called toothpaste. I think you should try it. Flying Dutchman: Let's hit it. Larry: Dude, look at your pecks! You're phenomenal! Truly a hard body. Look at those guns.",Now he's got him.
"Larry: My latissimus dorsi has gone flabby! I gotta get to a rolling machine. Flying Dutchman: Ah. It's no use, SpongeBob. I can't seem to scare anyone. Maybe people just don't believe in ghosts anymore.",Wait a minute! I think you gave me the answer to all your problems!  ...goblins...guilt trip...
"Squidward: Huh? Mrs. Tentacles: Squidward! Squidward! Squidward: What's going on? Mrs. Tentacles: Why haven't you called me? Squidward: Mother? Mrs. Tentacles: Why haven't you called your mother? Squidward:  Uh, Squiddums loves his mama. Mrs. Tentacles: Why don't you call me then? Why don't you call me? Why don't you call me? Flying Dutchman:  I heard you don't believe in ghosts! Squidward: Ghosts? Flying Dutchman: As in the Flying Dutchman! Squidward: There's no such thing as ghosts. No such thing. Flying Dutchman: No such thing as ghosts? No such thing as ghosts?! You don't believe in ghosts?! Squidward: SpongeBob? Flying Dutchman: Ooh, scary! Squidward: No! No! That's impossible!  Ghosts! Ghosts!","Dutchie, it worked! You got your scare back!"
"Flying Dutchman: And me confidence, too. Now I feel like I can scare the living criminy out of anybody! All thanks to you, my boy.","And, maybe your ship will be repaired soon."
"Flying Dutchman: Actually, I have a confession, SpongeBob. My ship's been done for three months now. Well, it was nice roomin' with ya.  Oh yeah, I almost forgot! I left you a little something something for all your trouble. Now, it's time for me to ruin more souls.","Good Ol' Dutchie! Exercise time is over, Gary.  We don't want you getting too thin.  Here, boy. Fetch!"
Gary: Meow.,"Huh?   Good job, Gary!  I love you, Gary!  Gary, Gary, Gary, Gary, Gary!  Ha, ha! Down, boy! Ha ha!"
Patrick: SpongeBob! Are you ready? Are you ready? Are you ready?,For what?
"Patrick: The annual jellyfish convention in Ukulele Bottom this weekend!  So, you ready or what?",That was this weekend?  I can't go; I don't have anyone to take care of Gary!
Squidward: Would you please stop leaving your undergarments on my front lawn?,"Squidward, could you watch Gary this weekend?"
Squidward: What's a Gary?,Not a Gary. Gary. He's my pet snail.  Say hello!
Squidward: Yuck. You actually care for that thing?,I love Gary!
"Squidward: Well, I don't. Get somebody else.","I guess we can't go away this weekend after all, Patrick."
"Squidward: Go away?  You mean, if I watch Gary, you guys will be gone all weekend?","Actually, a three day weekend."
"Squidward: As in, not here for three days?","Yeah, but you've already said you can't do it, we understand."
"Patrick: Don't feel bad, Squidward. The three of us can still have our own jellyfish convention at your house! Squidward: I changed my mind. You guys deserve a weekend away.",You'll do it? Great! Let me show you a little bit about snail care. You need to take Gary for a walk.
"Squidward: Friday, Saturday and Sunday - a three-day weekend.","Let me show you how to feed him.  The cans are all marked, a can in the morning and a can at night."
"Squidward: Sure it's enough? Group: Jellyfishing! Jellyfishing! Jellyfishing! Jellyfishing! Patrick: The bus is here! The bus is here!  C'mon, SpongeBob! Group: Jellyfishing! Jellyfishing! Jellyfishing! Squidward:  Well, time to go. Don't want to be late. Have fun, bye bye.","Now, you won't forget my instructions, will you?"
"Squidward: I have the memory of an elephant, I'll take good care of Fred.",Gary.
"Squidward: Right, yeah, right.  Jellyfishing! Jellyfishing! So long, losers!  They're gone! Gary: Meow. Squidward:  This is going to be the best three days of my life.  I'm going to do all the things I can't normally do because of SpongeBob.  Well, thus ends the greatest weekend of my life. No SpongeBob, no Patrick, nothing but me, me, me.   The snail! I forgot the snail!  I've got to do something.  Okay, okay, okay. Here we go. Here we go. Right here.  : Eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat! You've gotta finish this food!","See you later, Patrick."
"Squidward: Come on, eat! Eat! Eat!  Ohh...",Gary! I'm home!
"Squidward:  Hi, SpongeBob.",Squidward! What are you doing here?
"Squidward: Oh, just checking up on old Gary for you.","What a great friend you are, Squidward."
"Squidward: So, uhh, well, see you. Goodbye.","Thanks, Squidward.  I can always count on you.  Gary! Gary, what's happened to you? What's wrong? Squidward, something's wrong with Gary! Squidward!"
"Brock: Yes, yes, it's just as I thought.",What?
Brock: This is definitely a snail.,"I knew it! Oh, Squid, did you hear that?"
"Brock: Therefore, a shot of snail plasma must be carefully administered. Here you go.",Aren't you going to do it?
"Brock: Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm too squeamish. Squidward: Uhh, hey, doc, let me help you with your bag there.","Squid, wait! I can't give Gary his plasma. I'm squeamish too."
"Squidward: Aww, SpongeBob, I don't want to do...",Gary!
"Squidward: Okay, okay, I'll do it.","Now, don't hurt him, Squidward. Okay, okay, steady.  Wait, that's too hard. Okay, okay, okay, try it again."
Squidward: Will you hold him still?,"Ouch! Uh, Squidward, you just injected me with snail plasma."
"Squidward: Well, you made me do it!",What's going to happen to me?
"Squidward: Oh, nothing, it's just a little snail plasma.","I don't know, I feel kind of funny!"
"Squidward: I'm telling you, it's all in your head. Squidward: He just needed water?","Oh, Gary, you're better!"
"Squidward: Oh, how touching. I'm going to go home and throw up. Good night.","Squidward, wait, the snail plasma!"
"Squidward: Trust me, SpongeBob, nothing's going to happen to you. You're fine. Gary: Meow.","Don't worry, Gary, Squidward says I'll be fine. He knows everything. So, you hungry?"
Gary:  Meow!,"Here ya go. Eat up, Gary."
Gary: Meow?,"Sorry, Gary, I couldn't control myself.  Meow. Why did I just do that? Am I cracking up?"
Gary: Meow.,"No, no, Squidward's right. I'm fine. I- I worry too much. It's all in my head. I feel tip-top! Gary, you're getting a  lot faster! Look at me. Never better.  I'm okay! Squidward said I'm fine! Gary... I'm fine! Yyyyyy-yyyooooou'll see.  That's okay, I'm a lefty anyway! Ha! Now I don't have to buy those new shoes!  I take it back, Gary. Something is wrong with meeeee  ow!"
"Squidward:  I hope I never see another snail again. Good night, Clary.  Who could that be? As if I didn't already know.  SpongeBob, I already told you. You're gonna be just--",Meow!
Squidward:,Meow! Meow.
"Squidward: Squidward: SpongeBob? Oh, Neptune, what have I done?  It's all your fault.  Okay, okay, okay, okay, get it together, Squidward.",Meow!  Meow. Meow.  Meow!  Meow. Meow.
"Squidward: None of this would be happening if I'd only fed that snail! Squidward: Uh-oh! Gary: Meow , meow , meow , meow , meow  .","Meow , meow , meow , meow , meow  ."
"Squidward: Meow , meow , meow , meow , meow , meow  . Gary: Meow , meow , meow , meow , meow  .","Meow , meow , meow , meow , meow  ."
"Squidward: Meow , meow , meow , meow , meow , meow  . Gary:  Meow , meow , meow , meow , meow  . Patrick:  Will you clam up?!","Meow , meow , meow , meow , meow  ."
"Squidward: Meow , me-  Ommf! Gary: Meow , meow , meow , meow , meow  .","Meow , meow , meow , meow , meow  ."
"Squidward: Meow , meow , meow , meow , meow , meow , meow , meow , meow . Plankton: Oh, brother. Just look at this place. Might as well be a mausoleum. Abysmal. Oh, well. At least it's structurally sound.  Forget this! I'm sick of not having any business. Karen: Then why don't you fix this rust bucket up? Look around. Chipping paint, bad plumbing, dust bunnies--  it's no wonder you don't have any customers. Plankton: Okay, I get it. I get it. It's time to give this place a complete overhaul.  Whoa! Whoa!  I shouldn't have to subject myself to such menial labor.  Ah! This is a job for an imbecile!  Or two imbeciles.  Excuse me, gentlemen. I am sorry to bother you, but I'm having a bit of trouble with my abode. You see, I would like to paint The Chum Bucket to please my wife. But alas, I am too small and feeble.","Aw. well, we can help you. Right, Patrick?"
"Patrick: Uh-huh. I came prepared, too.  Alright, let’s do it. Plankton: Okay, boys. Karen wants this place to really sparkle. I was thinking it could use a little more pizzazz. SpongeBob and Patrick: Pizzazz, yeah! Plankton: Oh, I know. Why don't you paint the entire Chum Bucket? SpongeBob and Patrick: Whoa, really?! Plankton: Oh, yes. I need you artistic vision. You, wouldn't want to disappoint my Karen now, would you? SpongeBob and Patrick: No, sir. Uh-uh. Plankton: Well, hop to it, lads. SpongeBob and Patrick:  Yes, sir! Squidward:  Heel, toe. Heel, toe. Heel, toe. Heel, toe. Heel, toe. SpongeBob and Patrick: Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la. We like to work. Squidward: What the--? SpongeBob, what atrocity is this?","Oh. hi, Squidward. Looky, Mr. Plankton's having us paint. He calls it pizzazz!"
"Squidward: Pizzazz, huh? What would you know about that? Patrick: Plankton says he needs our artistic vision.",Let's show him
"Squidward: You buffoons wouldn't know artistic vision if it hit you over the head. Now, where's the paintbrush?  I'll show you what artistic vision is all about. Start with light brush strokes. SpongeBob and Patrick: Oh. Squidward: Yeah. Perfect.  Simpletons. Plankton: Amazing. I didn't have to trick the tall one.  My plan is falling right into place. With those three boobs preoccupied, stealing the formula will be a snap!",Mr. Plankton? All this hard work is making us thirsty. Do you think we can get--  --a drink?
"Plankton: Let me show you something, SpongeBob.  I sure wish I could offer you a cold drink for all your hard work. But alas, my pipes are rusted shut.",I see what you mean.
Plankton: Yes. If only there was some way I could—Where'd he go?,La-la-la-la-la-la-la.
"Plankton:  Secret formula, here I come.",La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la.
"Plankton: Perfect. Huh?  No! No! NO! It's all wrong! Don't you know a thing about art? Gimme that brush!  Yes, yes, and yes. Voila! Squidward: A log cabin? Plankton: Yeah, I think they're so cozy. Now that's what you call art. Squidward: Everyone's a critic. Plankton: I can't wait to see Krabs' face when he discovers that I've absconded with The secret Krabby Patty formula.","Hey, Plankton? What do you think of the new window? We got it from The Krusty Krab."
"Plankton: SpongeBob, how do you expect me to see out of a window that high?",I guess I hadn't thought about that.
"Patrick: I did.  Look, Plankton. It's the perfect height for your kind. Plankton: See, SpongeBob? Patrick's using the old noggin. He knows I'll actually want to see out the window! Patrick: Wait, you wanted to see out the window? Weird. Plankton: CAN'T YOU TWO DO ANYTHING RIGHT? I give you one simple task after another and...  Just forget it. It was foolish of me to think this plan would ever work when nothing else in my life is panned out. Telemarketing, life guarding, creative writing—all such bitter failures.","Oh. It's okay, little green... creature. Patrick and I are going to keep working on The Chum Bucket. until it's the most pizzazziest  restaurant in Bikini Bottom!"
Plankton:  Really?,"And how. Come on, fellows. Let's do some interior decorating!"
"Squidward: Oh, goodbye, paintbrush.  Hello, antique fitting! Plankton: Well, that ought to keep them busy for a while. SpongeBob and Patrick: Hup-hup-hup-hup!  Hup-hup-hup-hup! Plankton: I just need to sneak past Krabs, and I'm home-free.  Where could that stingy crab be?  Still don't see him.  The safe! I'm in the clear, baby!  It's beautiful.  No. No tears. Not yet.  There's work to be done.  Ha-ha! At long last!  And the secret formula is — one bottle of molting lotion, take passport photo, get new safe travel size. This isn't the secret formula! It's a to do list!! Yaaagh!!!  Huh!? What happened to The Krusty Krab? Huh! WHAT HAPPENED TO THE CHUM BUCKET?!?!?!  Curses! This isn't what I meant by renovation.",I know. Isn't it great? It looks just like The Krusty Krab.
Mr. Krabs: It looks more like Plankton trying to steal me restaurant.,Mr. Krabs! You've returned from your vacation.
"Mr. Krabs: And it's time for The Krusty Krab to return from its vacation. SpongeBob and Patrick: Hooray!/Yay! Mr. Krabs:  And I bet you tried to steal this, too. Plankton:  Hehehhehheh... well, steal is such a strong word. Mr. Krabs: You don't really think I'd leave me secret formula behind when I go on vacation. Do ya? Mr. Krabs and Plankton: Now stay away from me... Plankton: ...restaurant, bug. I think we've been through this one before. Allow me to do the honors. Heh-yah!  Ahhhhhhhhhhh. Karen: Oh, excellent job, genius. You really fixed the place up. Plankton: Don't nag me, Karen. I've had a long day. Mr. Krabs: Yup, Squidward. you really outdid yourself for the new decor. Where did you get the fountain? Squidward: That, I sculpted out the concrete foundation of the Chum Bucket. Mr. Krabs: And these metal decorations? Squidward: Those were all fabricated from The Chum Bucket walls. Mr. Krabs: And the computer? Squidward: Oh, that's Plankton's wife. Mr. Krabs: Well, it looks great, lad. And it didn't cost me a dime. Customer #1: Wow, $25 for a Krabby Patty? Rip off, dude. Not cool. Mr. Krabs: But you're paying for enhanced ambiance—dude. Customer #1: Well, that's true—it is pretty classy in here. Gimme four!","Mustard, mustard, step right up for your mustard!  Some mustard for you. Eh, eh, eh."
Boy:  Cool!,"A bit of the yellow for you. Doy. Oh, okay.  Eh.  And a Mr. Mustard for you."
"Nancy Suzy Fish:  Mmm, yummy.",Hyah!
Customers: Aw.,"Hang on, folks, I'll be right back with more mustard.  Whoo!  Let's see. Ketchup.  Mayonnaise.  Oh, mustard."
Mr. Krabs: Did you use up all me mustard?,What?
"Squidward:  Oh, who gives a flying fish about mustard?","But Squidward, without mustard I wouldn't be able to make a—"
"Mr. Krabs: Krabby Patty! That's right, you're both hereby ordered to go down into the mustard mines! And bring me back more mustard! Squidward: Mustard mines? Patrick:  Mmm, mustard.  Uh... Ah. Mr. Krabs:  And you are going down to the mustard mines too. Walter Haddock:  I wouldn't do that if I was you. Walter Haddock: That old mustard mine is cursed.",Cursed?
"Mr. Krabs:  What kind of curse? Walter Haddock: It's, uh, er, one of those—The Mummy's Curse. Mr. Krabs:  There's no such thing as mummies. Walter Haddock:  We've all got mummies. Eh?  Mm-hmm. I've been in that mine. No one that enters gets out alive.",You got out and you're alive.
"Walter Haddock: Ah, but am I? Patrick: Yeah, you're standing right there. Walter Haddock: But am I? Mr. Krabs: Yeah, you're right— Hmm. Squidward: I see your foot. Walter Haddock:  No, you don't.","Ah, his foot's gone!"
"Squidward:  This map doesn't show us where the mustard vein is located. Well, let's just start picking. Patrick:  Way ahead of you, pal. Squidward: Ugh. Patrick: Ooh. SpongeBob and Patrick:  ♪Oh, a-mining we will go! The mustard, it will flow!  With pick and axe without the facts! There's nothing that we know! Ta-da!♪ Squidward:  Huh?! You nitwits! How will we get out now? Patrick: Ah, we're trapped in a mine! We'll never get out! Squidward:  Krabby Patty, stat. Squidward: He's coming 'round. Patrick:  Squidward. I—I need— Squidward: What can I get for you? Patrick:  I need a little mustard for the Krabby Patty. Squidward:  Why do I even bother? Maybe there's a back door. SpongeBob and Patrick: Hey, wait for us!",Whoa.
Squidward: I wonder how deep it is.,I'll check.  Wahhh!  Don't bother jumping. That shaft has no bottom. Let's take the escalator.
"Squidward:  All right, spread out!",Coal miners. Ew.
Patrick: Sulfur miners.,Phew. Unaccompanied minors.
"Squidward: All right, let's get to work, chowderheads.","Hey, I found something yellow.  Never mind, it's just gold."
Patrick: All I'm getting is dumb old diamonds.,This must be the Mummy's Curse that old guy was talking about.
"Squidward: Gold and diamonds?  Gold dust! No, no, it's just sand. Ryan: Whoa! Squidward:  Ah. Squidward: Uh, what was that?","The greatest treasure of all, a child. Hello?"
"Mr. Krabs:  SpongeBob, where's me mustard? Jennifer Millie: I want some mus—","On the way, sir, as soon was we find it.  Love you."
"Squidward: Oh, we'll never find that mustard vein.  Oh, what is this? Subway PA: Local train approaching station.","Hurry up, Squidward, before the doors close!"
Patrick: It's the last train of the night!,Do you have a metro card?
Squidward: Ah! I got it!,"Come on, Squidward!"
Subway PA: Watch the closing doors.,"Faster, Squidward, faster!"
"Patrick: Hey, Squidward, you really should watch the closing doors. Subway PA: This is a local mining train making all stops between Coal and Limestone. Next stop, Condiments.","Oh, that's our stop."
"Patrick: Come on, Squidward! Squidward: Hmm.  Ah, la, hmm.  Ah! I've struck mayo!",Hot sauce.
"Patrick: I struck blood!  Oh, no, it's ketchup!",We're getting close.  Oh.  Mustard. Ahhh! I struck mustard!
"Squidward: Mustard? Patrick: Mustard? SpongeBob, Patrick, Squidward:  ♪Look at all the mustard flow! Look at all the mustard flow! That golden yellow fatty acid treat!♪","Oh, no, what are we gonna do now?"
"Squidward: I think we better use our heads. Patrick: Let's use my head. SpongeBob, Patrick, Squidward: The mummy! Walter Haddock: Stop!",It's the Mummy's Curse guy!
Walter Haddock: There ain't no curse! I just tried to discourage you chuckleheads from mining this mustard!,"Oh, I get it, 'cause the mummy wants the mustard. Mystery solved."
"SpongeBob, Patrick, Squidward: Hurrah! Walter Haddock:  'Tain't no mummy! This mustard is sitting on top of 20 million pounds of pressure! If you open her up, she's gonna blow sky high!","Oh, no curse. No mummy. And no mustard.  And I'll have to find another job!"
"Squidward:  Stop. Don't you see? This old coot wants all the mustard for himself! Now uncork that mustard! Walter Haddock: Hmm? Squidward: Oh, put your fists down, old man. I'm not gonna hurt you. Walter Haddock: Hyah!","You were right, Squidward, you're not gonna hurt him."
Squidward:  Why you—  Ow!  I'm gonna—,"Go, Squidward, you're winning! You're not hurting him at all!"
"Patrick:  Let me try not hurting him.  Come on, old-timer! You know you want a piece of me!  Oh. Walter Haddock: Ow, that hurt! Patrick:  I hurt him!  That means I lose.","No, no, no, no, no, no, no!  Whoa....!"
"Walter Haddock: Adiós, muchachos! Squidward: Hmm.  I'll get it. Hello. Mr. Krabs:  Where's me mustard?! Squidward: Um... Squidward: Your mustard is coming right up. Mr. Krabs:  When?! Squidward: Now?",Wow! Yee-ha! Yeah!
"Squidward: SpongeBob, what is that horrible racket coming from back here?",Just a little grill-side harmony. Everyone knows that cooking and music go together like... eating and listening.
Squidward: You wouldn't know what real music is if it came up and hit you in the face.,"Hey, that happened to Patrick once. He must've been listening to hard rock.  He had a lump on his head—"
"Squidward:  I don't care! If you want to hear what real music sounds like, then listen to this.  Hey, give it back. I was just reaching my coda. Mr. Krabs: Yeah, well your coda is affecting me quota. The shrill piercing racket of your fish flute is frightening away me money. Squidward: Fish flute? Mr. Krabs: Well, I don't know. That's what they used to call it back in the— Squidward: None of you simpletons would recognize real musical talent if it came up and kicked you in the face!","Hey, that happened to Patrick once, too! He—"
"Squidward: None of you know a great musician when you hear him! Not a single one of you! Not even—even—oh, there's nobody there. Plankton: He's still doing it, Karen. He's— Karen? Karen: Who's doing what, now? Plankton: The skinny one. He's been ranting and raving in front of the Krusty Krab for the past half-hour, waving his arms and jumping around like an animal. Oh, he stopped now. He's just broken down on the ground, crying. Karen, Karen, for the first time, it's hit me! Karen: What, the door on your way out? Plankton: No, computer-brain. The skinny one may have been the gateway to the secret formula all along. As a veteran employee, he must know the secret formula, too. Karen:  I warn you against it. Plankton: Too late! Squidward: Who said that? Plankton: Down here! I am just an innocent passerby who felt the need to stop and tell you what a magnificent garden you have. Squidward: Oh, really? Plankton: Yes. Squidward: Well, let me tell you something, mister. I know exactly who you are and why you're here. Plankton: You do? Squidward: You will not get me to eat at the Chum Bucket, no matter how big the discount is. Plankton: Well, that's not exactly why I— Squidward: Shameless. You again? Plankton: I hope you don't mind me painting on your property, but the light here, it's simply transcendent this time of day. Squidward:  Why, yes, it is, isn't it? Plankton: Yes, it—not buying that one either, huh? Squidward: Nope. Plankton: Hey, buddy!  Squidward!  Free cleaning service?  Census taker.  Good day, kind sir. Would you like to buy some Gil Scout cookies?  Ow! Karen: Plankton, what are you doing? Plankton: There's nothing a little duct tape and surgical tubing can't accomplish.  Ow! I knew I should've used pipe cleaners. Hello, I'm your long-lost relative. Can I have the secret formula? Plankton: Well, that's a fine way to treat a family member.","Hi, Plankton. Nice dress."
"Plankton: Out of my way, SpongeBrain.","I overheard you and Squidward playing doorslam and I wanted to see if I could get in to the next round.  Don't cry, Plankton. Doorslam is easy to play. Hard to master."
Plankton: None of my tactics are making any impression on him whatsoever.,"Well, let's see. If you really want to impress Squidward, try talking to him about music."
Plankton: Music?,"Yeah, especially his favorite kind of music, his own."
"Plankton: Oh, is that right? Squidward:  Not again. Plankton: Wait, don't irrigate me. I've come to hear your music. It soothes the place my soul would occupy if I had one. Squidward: Are you sure you got the right squid? Plankton: I've never been sure of anything, but I am sure of this: play for me. Fill my ear sockets with the strains of your sweet, sweet magic. Squidward: Finally, someone actually appreciates my brilliance. I will play for you, my tiny cyclops. I will play such that Neptune himself will hear me upon his very throne... or whatever chair he's sitting on. Plankton: Uh-oh. I mean, goodie. Squidward: Plankton: Sweet mother of Aphrodite! Please make it end! Squidward: Huh, huh? How are you enjoying the music so far? Plankton: It's delightful!  Bravo!  Encore, encore! Yes, yes, bravo, bravo! Whoo-hoo! Squidward:  My very own fan. Gus: Did you hear that? Nazz-Mimi: How could I not? Plankton: Bravo! Lifeguard: No, no! Make it stop! Plankton: Encore, encore, encore! Squidward: I'm so glad you're enjoying the performance. Plankton: Enjoying it? Why, I'm enjoying it so much, it's making me want to... it's making me want to... Squidward: Want to... sing? Plankton: That's the word I was looking for! Squidward: A-one, a-two, a-one, a-two, a-three, a-four. Plankton: ♪Skinny arms a flappin' long nose looks real swell. Shiny head is bulging he plays really well. On the fact that he's a genius you can surely bet. This strange-looking blue guy, sure plays a neat clarinet.♪ ♪To hear his music playing is like, uh, music to my ears. His delightful melodies reduce grown men to tears. If you haven't heard this mollusk play you ain't hear nothing yet. This funny-looking blue guy, sure plays a neat clarinet.♪ ♪No one does it better. He's the best there is. When you ask him how he does it he says...♪ Squidward: It's all in the wrist. Plankton: Hooray! Squidward: Thank you, thank you. Plankton: Say, uh, musical genius? Squidward: Yes? Plankton: When you're not sharing your songs of joy and splendor, one might find you working a shift at the Krusty Krab, correct? Squidward: It is an unfortunate truth. Plankton: And you've been working there for a pretty long time, haven't you? Squidward: That's an understatement. Plankton: Well, I... I was just wondering, O incredibly musical one, what do they put in one of those Krabby Patties, anyway... secret-wise? Squidward: Oh, I don't work the grill; I work the register. Plankton: But... surely, you've been near the grill. You must've seen something. Squidward: Nope. Haven't seen a thing. Plankton: You work in the same place for 20 years and you've never noticed ingredients of the sole item on your menu? Cut the comedy, octopus! I want that formula and I want it now! Squidward: Oh, don't you see, Sheldon? Thanks to you, I'm getting better and better as a musician. Plankton: What? Squidward: It's been your constant encouragement that has helped me progress to new musical heights. I'm hitting notes I never even knew existed. Mrs. Puff: We have— Sandy: Mayday! Mayday! Squidward: In fact, thanks to you, I'm going to quit my job at the Krusty Krab and become a full-time musician. Plankton: But then I'll never get my hands on that secret formula.  Uh-oh. My professional-grade earplugs! No!  Come back, I need you!  Stop playing this infernal pipe! You're killing me! Squidward: Hey!  Come back!","Hi, Squidward. I heard you and Plankton out here playing doorslam and I was wondering if I could—Squidward: Plankton stole my clarinet and I have to get it back! Whoo! I wanna play!"
"Plankton:  Aha! Okay, fish-flute, time to play a little avant-garde. Guardrail, that is.","Ouch, Squidward, this game is fun!"
"Plankton: You'll never catch me, you hear! Never! Police fish #1: We've got you surrounded. Plankton: You do? Oh. Police fish #1: We've received hundreds of reports of an excruciating musical disturbance and you're the only one holding an instrument. Plankton: Wait a minute, I've never seen this instrument before in my life.","He's right, officer. Plankton doesn't even play clar—"
"Mr. Krabs: There, there, laddie. Just let the legal system run its course. Police officer #1: Watch your head. Plankton: No, wait! Please! Karen, help! Police officer #1: Oh, you won't be needing this where you're going.","Boy, that was a close one, huh, Squidward? He almost got your clarinet."
"Squidward: Once again, I hate people. Mr. Krabs: Mr. Squidward!  What is happening in me restaurant?! Squidward: The customers have gone crazy!  SpongeBob is late for work, so there's no food! Mr. Krabs:  But he's never been late for work in his life! Oh, this can only mean one thing.  SpongeBob has passed away! Mr. Krabs: Or...maybe he's just seriously injured. Mr. Krabs: Oh, yeah, that's still bad, isn't it? Squidward:  I had no idea you cared that much about SpongeBob. Mr. Krabs:  Of course! He's been a loyal employee. His passing would be a great loss to me bank account. Oh, I—to me personally, of course. Now, come on, we have to go check on SpongeBob's possible remains. Squidward: With pleasure!  What? Too soon? Mr. Krabs: Prepare yourselves for the horror.  Or the joy. Let's not be downers about this. Bikini Bottomites: Oh, yeah. Okay. Mr. Krabs: But probably, like I said, the horror! Mr. Krabs: Neptune's nightmare! That snail is eating SpongeBob's face!  Get away from him! Bikini Bottomites:  Such a nice kid.","I—I—  Oh, good morning, everyone."
"Mr. Krabs:  SpongeBob, you're alive!","I am? Well, thank goodness. Wait, why wouldn't I be alive?"
"Mr. Krabs:  You were late to work, so we assumed the worst. Squidward:  You mean, the best.","Late to work? But that's impossible! My trusty alarm clock always waked me up.  See?  Well, how do you like that? It's unplugged. Well, we'll just fix that and I'll never be late again. Oh, my clock!"
"Mr. Krabs: Looks like you need a new clock, boy-o.","Oh, I could never replace my old clock, Mr. Krabs. We've been through a lot together.  It's the only alarm clock I've ever owned. I can fix it."
"Mr. Krabs: Eh, good luck. But you better not be late tomorrow.  Or else. Squidward:  Did that stupid clock give me a bump on my head? SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs:  Ugh!","Oh, come on, come on. I still love you. Let me fix you.  Wow!"
"Patrick: Ooh, hey, SpongeBob, what're you doing?","Oh, I'm just trying to fix this old alarm clock. I'm gonna need that part you swallowed, by the way."
"Patrick: That's cool. Just give a couple of hours. You know,  I could totally fix your clock for you.","Oh, I don't know, Patrick. This clock means a lot to me and—  Well, okay, are you sure?"
"Patrick: Absolutely. Don't you worry. I promise to be super careful.  Why don't you fix?!  Hmm? Uh... Sorry, SpongeBob, I couldn't fix it.","Thanks for trying, Patrick, but I guess nothing lasts forever. Looks like I'm gonna need a new clock after all."
Patrick: Hmm!  In that case...,"Um, hello?"
"Con man:  Hello, there!  Welcome to Clock World, where we always have time  for a bargain. How can I help you?",Do you have another alarm clock like my old one?
"Con man: Hmm…  Ah, the 740 Foghorn Wake-Em-Up Grand. I'm sorry to say they don't make this model anymore. But if you have a second,  I have many others I can show you.","Wow. So many to choose from.  Oh, I'll never be able to choose a clock with this many choices. I'll just take 'em all!"
"Con man: Ah! I'm rich!  Whoo!  Whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo! Gary: Meow.","My old foghorn clock was the only alarm clock that could wake me up. Sure hope one of these works.  Goodnight, Gare-bear."
French Narrator: One hour later...,Huh?
Mr. Krabs:  Late.,I hope this one works.
French Narrator: Late again... Mr. Krabs:  Late!,Huh?
"French Narrator: You get the idea! Mr. Krabs:  Late!  Late!  Late!  Still late!  Late!  Late, late, late, late, late, late, late! Squidward:  Still late. Mr. Krabs: Late again.  I told you before that you best not be late or else! But this time, I'll be emphasizing it with a furrowed brow.  Or else.","Oh, I don't know how many more or elses I can take.  I have to figure out a way to wake up on time. Hey, what a great idea!"
"Mr. Krabs: Hmm, I really thought that last or else would've worked. Maybe I should've wagged my finger. Mr. Krabs: Right on time!  Looks like I won't be needing you after all, SpongeTom. SpongeTom:  Oh!",Good morning...
"Gary: Meow! Squidward:  Sadly, it looks like your order's on time today.  D'oh! Mr. Krabs:  Glad you finally woke up on time, boy-o!","Just five more minutes, Gary."
"Squidward: Sir, there's a line. Bubble Bass: I'm filing a complaint.  I ordered this with extra pickles. And I only count fourteen. Squidward:  SpongeBob, we got a wrong order. Mr. Krabs:  What in Poseidon's beard?!","Oh! Oh! Good morning, Mr. Krabs."
"Mr. Krabs: It's not a good morning. First, you're late for days, and now you destroyed me kitchen! Mr. Krabs:  Oh, looks like it's—",Time for or else?
Mr. Krabs: You better be at work on time or else  I'll have to open up and close the restaurant an hour later.,"Uh, what?  No!"
Patrick: I did it!,"Yes! Oh, Patrick, you fixed it!"
"Patrick: Uh, kind of. ♪Watcha twigger she's a proper jubby-jewel... On a passage from the Dogger Bank to Great Grimsby!♪ Mr. Krabs: Well, it's the worst time of the day once again.  Closing time!","Well, see you in the A.M., Mr. Krabs."
"Mr. Krabs: Hold on there, SpongeBob!  Take that pile of filth out with you.","Mr. Krabs, you shouldn't talk about Squidward like that!"
"Squidward: He means this filth, you loon!","Takin' out the trash, takin' out the trash. Hmm... dumpster writing! The voice of the people! Up with bubbles, down with air!  Nematodes are people too!  Ha, those nematodes... Here's one someone didn't finish! Squidward smells.  Good.  Hmm, what's this one? Krabs is a... hmm? Krabs is a ."
Garbage man:  Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?,"Well, sometimes, but not... Recently."
"Patrick:  Hi, garbage man.  Hi, SpongeBob.","Hi, Patrick! Hey, Patrick, do you know what this word means?"
"Patrick: Krabs... Uh, isn't that the red, sweaty guy you work for?","Nah-uh, not that word, that word."
"Patrick: Hmm... ! Oh, hey! I think I know what that means. That's one of those sentence enhancers.",Sentence enhancers?
"Patrick: You use them when you want to talk fancy. You just sprinkle it over anything you say, and Wham-O! You've got yourself a spicy sentence sandwich!","Oh, I get it! Let me try.  Hello, Patrick. Lovely  day we're having, isn't it?"
"Patrick: Why, yes it is, SpongeBob. This  day is particularly  lovely!","How  right you are, Patrick! Ooh, You're right, Patrick, my lips are tingling from the spiciness of this conversation."
"Patrick: Oh, mine, too!","It tingles when I laugh! Hello, customers, nice  day we're having, uh?"
"Harold:  Did he just say?! Pirate fish: Aye, he did.","Hey, Patrick, how the  are ya?"
"Patrick:  Pretty  good, SpongeBob. Old Man Jenkins: I thought this was a restaurant, not a gutter mouth convention.","Attention, customers, today's special is a  Krabby Patty served in a greasy  sauce and grilled to  perfection.  And don't forget to ask us to  the  fries. It will be our  pleasure.  Hi, Squidward, how the  are ya?"
"Patrick: Nice  day, isn't it, Squidward? Tom: I don't understand. That guy's talented, he doesn't have to work blue. Evelyn: Let's go somewhere more family oriented. Female fish:  I'm never eating here again. Male fish:  Those foul-mouth bottom feeders. Mr. Krabs:  Huh?  The Krusty Krab, she's empty!  All hands on deck! Batten the front doors! Brace the cash register! Break out the happy snacks! Squidward, where have all me money paying customers gone? Squidward: Apparently, the two barnacle-mouth brothers just learned a new word, and SpongeBob just said it over the intercom. Mr. Krabs: Well, what was it? What'd he say? Squidward: Er...he said...um, well he said... Mr. Krabs: Huh?  SpongeBob and friend! Front and center! Why, I oughta make the two of you paint the Krusty Krab for using such language!","But, Mr. Krabs, we were only using our sentence enhancers."
"Patrick: Yeah, it's fancy talk. Mr. Krabs: There ain't nothing fancy about that word!",You mean ?
"Mr. Krabs: Yes, that one!  Now quit saying that!  It's a bad word! SpongeBob and Patrick: Bad word?! Mr. Krabs: Yes sirree, that's bad word number 11. In fact, there are 13 bad words you should never use. Squidward: Don't you mean there are only 7? Mr. Krabs: Not if you're a sailor.","Wow, 13."
"Patrick: That's a lot of  bad words. Mr. Krabs: Okay, boys. I want you to promise me you'll never use that word again. SpongeBob and Patrick: We promise.","Gee, I'm glad Mr. Krabs told us that word we were using was a bad word!"
"Patrick: Yeah, me too, because classy sophisticates like us shouldn't stain our lips with cursing.","Yeah, verily. Now, let's play a nice, wholesome game of Eels and Escalators."
"Patrick: Oh, boy, my favorite!","Come on, Gary needs a new pair of shoes!"
"Patrick: Oh, eels. Too bad, SpongeBob, you gotta ride the eel.",Darn.
"Patrick: My turn!  Hooray! Escalators! Yay!  Up, up, up!","Come on, escalators, escalators, escalators!   Eels again."
Patrick: My turn!  Escalators!,"Escalators, Escalators, Escalators!  Eels?"
"Patrick:  Es-skee-lators!  Well, this is your last chance, SpongeBob, or if you get eels again, you lose!","Escalators, escalators, escalators!  Ha! Escalators!"
Patrick: Eels...,"Ah, !"
Patrick: Ooooh...! You said number 11!,"I didn't mean... you gotta understand, Patrick, I was trying...what I meant to say was...some things just slip out. You gotta understand!"
"Patrick: Don't worry, SpongeBob, I understand.  Mr. Krabs!  Mr. Krabs! Mr. Krabs! Mr. Krabs!","No, wait, Patrick!  Patrick, no, please don't tell!"
"Patrick: But, you said !",Aha! Now I'm gonna tell Mr. Krabs on you!
Patrick: Not if I tell first!,I can run faster than you!
"Patrick:  See ya at the Krusty Krab! Hahaha!  Oh, nooooo!","Mr. Krabs, Mr. Krabs, Mr. Krabs!"
"Mr. Krabs: What, what, what?","Patrick, Patrick, Patrick!"
"Mr. Krabs: Yes, yes, yes?","He said, he said, he said!"
"Mr. Krabs: Out with it, boy!","Me and Patrick were playing Eels and Escalators, and Patrick was going up-up-up, and I had to ride the eel and then we ran and Patrick, he said some things."
Mr. Krabs:  What kind of things?,"Well, he said..."
Mr. Krabs: Yes?!,"Well, uh, let's just say he said a certain word that you said we shouldn't say, and this particular word happens to be number 11 in the 13 words you said shouldn't be said."
"Mr. Krabs: Uh... right, now what was that part about the, um... Who now? Patrick:  Mr. Krabs, Mr. Krabs, Mr. Krabs! SpongeBob and Patrick: He said that word that you said we shouldn't say...!",...number thirteen...
"SpongeBob and Patrick: Mmm-mmm...! Mr. Krabs: Now I'm gonna let go of yer lips, and when I do, I want you to calmly tell me what youse need to tell me, understand? SpongeBob and Patrick: Mmm-hmm...  He said ! Mr. Krabs:  Do my ears deceive me?! You two should be ashamed! Time to take out the trash.  You two need to be taught a lesson. I thought I made it clear. Never, and I mean, never use number 11 or any of the 13 bad words! Now the both of youse wait right here. I'll be back. Patrick: What's going to happen to us?",We'll probably get 40 lashes!
"Patrick: Oh, no!","I'm sorry, Patrick. Mr. Krabs was right. There's no need for words like that."
"Patrick: I'm sorry, too, SpongeBob.","Let's make a vow, Patrick. From this day forth, a foul word shall never pass our lips! We'll be good citizens, just like good ol' Mr. Krabs."
"Patrick:  Agreed! Mr. Krabs: All right, you two foul mouths. As punishment for fouling the air in me restaurant with yer foul words, you're going to give the Krusty Krab a fresh coat of paint from top to bottom.  Ow, Ooh! Ow! My  foot! What  genius put a  rock in a  path?! Can't you see I got a  foot here?! Oh!","Five, six, seven..."
"Mr. Krabs: ...a whole lotta  and with a side of , a heapin' helpin' of  and a boatload of  ... Patrick: Nine... Mr. Krabs:  Ooh crabbin’  Ooh-hoo-uh!","That's all thirteen, Patrick!  We're gonna tell your mom, Mr. Krabs!"
"Mr. Krabs:  No, please, not me mommy!  Wait, please don't tell me mother! I don't think her little old heart can take it! SpongeBob and Patrick:  Mama Krabs, Mama Krabs! Mama Krabs: Why, hello there!","Mama Krabs, he said  and then he said  again and said  and then he screamed at the top of his voice !"
Patrick: It was terrible.,"And he-- --Mrs. Krabs, he didn't care! Such a stream of  I have never heard in my days!"
"Mama Krabs:  Oh, dear! My poor old heart. Mr. Krabs:  Oh, dear Mother! What have these foul-mouthed heathens done to you?  You two should be ashamed! Making an old lady faint with your sailor talk! Mama Krabs:  You should all be ashamed. And if you're going to talk like sailors, then you're going to work like sailors. Mama Krabs: I guess you scallywags have earned a glass of lemonade.  Yeeeoww! My  foot! Mr. Krabs:  Mother! Mama Krabs: What? It's Old Man Jenkins and his jalopy. Old Man Jenkins:  Howdy, Mrs. K! SpongeBob, Patrick, Mr. Krabs, and Mama Krabs:","♪Someday, I'm going to make you sweetie. Not overtly, but sur-rep-titious-ly.♪ Drum solo!  ♪Dooga, dooga, dooga, dooga, dooga—doo. Doo, doo, doo, Doo. Doo!♪ Hey, looks like you guys and gals are done.  In all my years of fry cookery, I have never seen such a perfect group of patties. Especially— you.  Such perfection from your little lettuce hair to your rosy ketchup cheeks right down to your mustard smile. May I call you— Patty?"
"Squidward: SpongeBob, I need that order of six.","Here you go, Squidward. One, two, three and four, and uh— five and six.  That's it. That's the whole order, Squidward. There isn't a Krabby Patty behind my back or anything."
Squidward: Uh— yeah.,"Oh, Patty, a patty like you comes around once in a lifetime. I can't let them eat you. No, the job must come first. I can't let emotions cloud my commitment to the sacred fry cook oath: That which is fried, must be eaten."
"Squidward: SpongeBob, where is that other— oh, there it is. Muscular Guy #1:  Where's my Krabby Patty? Squidward: Right here, muscleboy. Muscular Guy #1: It's about time.","No, I won't let you do this to Patty."
"Squidward: SpongeBob, hand over the Krabby—","Oh, Patty, I can't let them eat you. Your beauty must be preserved.  Amazing."
"Squidward:  What are you going to do with it, take it home? Put a little dress on her? Go out for a romantic walk with it?",Great idea.
Squidward:  I wonder if it's too late to get a refund from my therapist.,"Enjoy, sir."
"Muscular Guy #1: Can I eat this one?  What....? Hey, how'd they know? I loved grilled shoe.","What's cooking there, Patty? Oh, are you kidding? I love crepes. Oh, Patty, when we're together, I feel like we're in our own little world like, like— nothing can hurt us.  Fire!  Fire! Fire!"
Gary:  Meow.,"It's okay, Patty, the fire's gone. You're safe now.  Oh, I better, uh— get the doorbell."
"Patrick:  SpongeBob, how about another game of—  tie your best buddy in knots.  My turn.","Sorry, Patrick.  I already made plans to go for a walk through Jellyfish Fields with Patty. As soon as the little lady dries her hair, we're heading out."
"Sandy: Hi-yah!  Hey, SpongeBob, you didn't forget about our plan to go a-choppin', did you?","Sorry, Sandy. No time for karate today. After our walk, I'm going for a rowboat ride with Patty. Just waiting for her to put on her makeup. You know how long it takes a Krabby Patty to get ready."
"Sandy: Well, that makes as much sense as a snake with no slither. Patties are put in the water for eating, SpongeBob. Not for beboppin' all over Timbuktu.","Patty. Yeah, well, you two have fun with that.  Patty and I have to be on our way."
"Patrick: I've been replaced by a sandwich!  Maybe I could meet a lovely sandwich of my own. Yeah, that'll show SpongeBob.","♪Oh, baby, They may call me a fool, But I can't help our gravitational pull. When I stuff you with cotton candy, it reminds me you're so sweet. When we go riding, it's dandy. The way you hang onto that seat, Ba-ay-ay-by!♪  ♪When I'm with you, Our love is stronger than glue.♪ Whoo! ♪Oh, baby! There isn't anything. There's nothing in the world, I wouldn't do for you—♪  Hey, let go of her, you Patty-eaters! No! Get away! Hi-yah! Hi-yah!  Hi-yah! Hi-yah! Hi-yah! Yah! Yah! Hi-yah! Hi-yah! Hiiiiyah! Patty, you okay, sweetoms? ♪I'm so— sorry! I'll never let you out of my sight again, And I'll always keep you out of harm's waaa-aaaa-aayyyy!♪  ♪Oh, baby. Our love is so strong. That's why I'm singing this song. Ba-ay-ay-by! Your looks are sweeter than honey. From your pickles to your buns, It ain't even funny—!♪  I'm coming for you!  Oh, no! Look at you! Don't worry, Patty! I'll take care of this!  There you go! ♪All better. Oh, baby.♪  Oh, Patty. Do you realize what this signifies? Mm-hmm. That's right. It's our six-hour anniversary. And do you know what that means? Are you all right, Patty? You don't seem so hot. Don't worry, I know what'll make you feel better. A dinner at the finest restaurant in Bikini Bottom."
Mr. Krabs: Squidward! Where the barnacles is our fry cook? He's been gone all day. That boy's never been a work shirker. We got a crowd of hungry customers waiting. Squidward: How should I know? Do I look like my idiot's keeper? Mr. Krabs: Well— actually—,"Good day, sir."
"Squidward: As if on cue. Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, what's with the fancy getup?","Oh, I just got gussied up for my special dinner date."
"Mr. Krabs: A dinner date? Well, blow me down, boy. I didn't know you had it in you. so when do we get to meet the little lady?  By the way, is she rich?",She's rich in taste.
"Squidward: How could you possibly date anyone? I mean, look at you. She must be blind. Mr. Krabs: Ooh, a limousine.",There she is.
"Mr. Krabs: Oh, I can smell the money already.","Here we are, darling. The best eatery in town."
"Martha Smith: Harold, again? Harold Smith: Martha, I know what you're thinking. It's not me this time. Martha Smith: Well, whatever it is, it's disgusting. Harold Smith: Let's get out of here. Martha Smith: Yuck.","Mr. Krabs, Squidward— allow me to introduce my date— Patty."
"Mr. Krabs: Your date's a...Krabby Patty?  Methinks the boy's really lost it. Squidward:  What's that putrid odor? Mr. Krabs:  Oh, it's that Krabby Patty.  What are you doing with that rotten piece of meat, boy?","This isn't a “piece-o-meat”, Mr. Krabs. She's Patty.  And we're on a special date tonight so you don't mind if we get the manager's treatment, do you?"
"Mr. Krabs: Sorry, boy. no can do.","Oh, really? Mr. Fiver says different."
Mr. Krabs: What was that? I couldn't hear you.,How about now?
"Mr. Krabs: All right, take a seat.","Grrrrrazie!  Here you go, my dear. A throne befitting a queen.  Oh, good evening, monsieur. What might we have on the menu at this fine establishment?"
"Squidward: Well, you should know considering the fact you work here, sod for brains. Speaking of sods— why don't you get rid of this garbage? It's starting to stink up the joint.","Don't say such a thing, Squidward. Patty's just a little sick is all. Wight, Wubbie-Lubbie."
Squidward: I'll show you sick.,"Squidward, what are you doing with my beautiful patty?"
"Squidward: Beautiful, huh? How beautiful do you think this is?","Stop it, Squidward! Maybe you can't see Patty's beauty. But to me, she's the most gorgeous creature in the sea."
"Squidward: Well, I definitely see I can't help the mentally atrophied. Goodbye, Creature.","Patty, you no mind to that, wubbie-wubbie. I will always love you—  Yeah, what is that smell?  Patty?  What happened to you?"
"Mr. Krabs: I think I can explain, boy. There was a time when I was in love too. She was a Krabby Patty that looked a lot like yours does.  Well, maybe not right now, but you know what I mean. She was a firm, juicy, a warm patty. And attractive- oh, she looked good enough to eat. So— I did. do you hear what I'm saying to you, boy?","Um, not quite, Mr. Krabs."
Mr. Krabs: Krabby Patties are meant to be loved and eaten. That's what they're put in the ocean for. And it looks like yours is way past due.,"I see now. I see what I must do.  Oh, Patty, my darling. Before I do this, I want you to know that I only do it out of love."
"Mr. Krabs: Well done, boy. As a reward for your valiant effort, I'll only charge you 25¢ for the patty. Employee discount.",Can I get a doggie bag with that?
Patrick: Best Friends Day! Best Friends Day! Best Friends Day! Best Friends Day!,Patrick! Happy Best Friend... whoa.
"Patrick: This chewing gum is my most beloved possession, and I'm giving it to my bestest friend, on Best Friends Day.","Patrick, I am truly honored and..."
"Patrick: What's wrong, buddy?","You got me such an amazing gift, and all I got you was...that."
"Robo 2.1: Greetings. I am Robo 2.1, your personal robot servant. I am proficient in providing over 250,000 creature comforts. Would you care for a pastry? Patrick: Yum! Sweet, hot, and juicy. SpongeBob, this is a great gift!","Well, thanks for your appreciation, Patrick, but it's no giant, old, used ball of gum."
"Patrick: Aww, don't be so hard on yourself, SpongeBob. I love my gift. In fact, I'll go play with it right now! Come on, Robo! Robo 2.1: Coming, Master Patrick. Patrick: Oh, SpongeBob, you don't mind if I say goodbye to Gummy, do you?","No, not at all."
"Patrick: Thanks. Goodbye, Gummy. You be good to SpongeBob, you hear?  I love you, too, Gummy.  Welp, he's all yours!","O, majestic and much masticated Gummy, although I am not worthy to be in your presence, may my humble abode please you.  Oh, you sure are a big boy, aren't you? Ooh. Hey, I know how to handle this! With a little karate! Hyah!  Whew! Oh, Gummy, what a beautiful centerpiece you make. With your dirty sock and used toothbrush, flies, and moldy pizza.  Get a hold of yourself, SpongeBob. It's not so bad. After all, it is a gift from Patrick."
Underwear:  You're...not... Patrick...!,"I'm sorry, Patrick, but your gift has got to go!  Goodbye, stink ball. See ya never!"
"Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob, whatcha doing? Robo 2.1: It appears that he is throwing Gummy away. Patrick: What? Is that true?","No way, Patrick."
Patrick: Then how do you explain this?,"Well, you see, I liked Gummy and I decided to dress him up!  Isn't this a cute look?"
"Patrick: Hmmm. Bold yet understated. Brilliant idea, SpongeBob! Keep up the good work. Come on, Robo, let's find more belly button lint.","Okay, no sign of Patrick. Better make this fast.  Get ready for your dirt nap, Gummy!"
Patrick: SpongeBob!,Ahhh...!
Patrick: What are you doing?  I'm waiting.,"Uh... I was digging a hole so I could get a better view of Gummy, 'cause he is so attractive!  Allow me to demonstrate.  See, Patrick? The view is beautiful down here!"
"Patrick: Yeah, he does look rather dashing from this angle. Be that as it may, Gummy must be displayed properly and proudly. And I know just the place.  Isn't he breathtaking up there? Alrighty, SpongeBob, we got to go. I'm gonna learn how to use a fork. Right, Robo? Robo 2.1: 'Twill be my pleasure, master. Patrick: By the way, your house looks a million times better!","Thanks.  Oh, what am I going to do, Gary? It's hideous!"
Gary: Meow?,"Wishful thinking, Gary. What burglar would want to steal that thing?  Shhh."
Fish: Who are you? Where did you come from?,"Uh, up there?"
"Fish: Oh, thank Neptune! Hey, guys, I found a way out! Come on!  I'm free! I'm free! I'm sugar-free!  At last! Sandy:  What in tarnation?  Oh my gosh! SpongeBob! SpongeBob?  SpongeBob, open up!",Sandy?
Sandy: SpongeBob?,"Hi, Sandy. Looks like I got myself into a pretty sticky situation."
"Sandy: Oh my gosh! How long've you been stuck there, SpongeBob?",All day.
"Sandy: Well, your ol' pal Sandy know how to cut you down.","No, wait, Sandy. The more you touch it, the angrier it gets."
"Sandy: Oh, that's just crazy talk. Hiyah!",Told ya.
Sandy: Huh?,"Save yourself, Sandy. Run away before you end up like... me!"
"Sandy: Oh, come on now, there's gotta be a way.  I've got an idea.  Hang on tight, SpongeBob!","Yeah, alrighty."
"Truck Driver: Come on, Ol' Blue! Don't you talk back to me! Do as your told! Do it!  Do it! Do it! Come on now, do it! Come on! Squidward: What the...? Just let it go, Squidward. Let it go. Don't get involved, Squidward.  Of course. Sandy: I'm okay! Patrick: What's this? SpongeBob, what have you done? Patrick: It's-it's...it's amazing! It's like a gummy wonderland! Whee! Wow, I wish I were having this much fun. I knew you'd love it!","Patrick, I have something to tell you."
"Robo 2.1: Would you care for a massage, Master? Patrick: Enough already! Sheesh. So, you were saying something, SpongeBob?","Uh, well, how can I put this?"
"Patrick: Aw, just come right out and...  Will you stop? Just stop! Squidward: Get on with it, SpongeBob! Sandy: Wrap it up. Patrick: Squidward? Sandy? Gee, everyone is having fun with my Gummy but me! I-I-I mean, your Gummy.","Patrick, do you miss your Gummy?"
Patrick: Uh-huh.,"Well, it's still Best Friends Day. How would you like your Gummy back?"
Patrick: Yes!,"It's yours, buddy. But first, you gotta get us out of this."
"Patrick: Oh, that's easy!  Told you it was easy.  Wow! This is the best Best Friends Day ever! Mr. Krabs: What better way to spend an afternoon than trolling the sea vent for spare change.  Whooh!  There's got to be a small fortune than discarded paperclips in there!  I knew this place looked familiar.  What's this? Goodness, that must be Sandy's treedome dwelling, and inside looks to be the largest soybean I have ever layed me eyestocks on. Now this bears getting a closer look.  Good afternoon, Miss Sandy. Sandy: And good afternoon to you Mr. Krabs. What brings you out to this fine neck of the woods? Mr. Krabs: Well uh, I just happen to be in the neighborhood and was wondering if you could see you in clear and grace me with a comprehensive tour of your homesweet treedome.  I hear the giant soybean is lovely this time of the year. Sandy: Sure, lets get you fitted with a helmet. Mr. Krabs: Don't bother yourself. As long as I keep me ole lungs moist, I can breath your fancy air all day long. Sandy: Come on in then. Mr. Krabs: Seems so much bigger once your inside. Sandy: That's what they all say. Did I already show you my single wheeled roller skate or my helicopter that is powered by coconut milk? Mr. Krabs: Huh? Oh yeah, that sounds interesting Sandy, but uh actually... Sandy:  Or my artificial intelligence that comes in the form of a multi-colored cubeshaped puzzle. See it can solve itself. Mr. Krabs: Uh Sandy, actually I'm not interested in all of that. Sandy: Okay, well was there something particular you wanted to see? Mr. Krabs: Tell me about your giant soybean. Sandy: This is the result of an experimental growth serum I develop. It could easily feed a lot of hungry people. Mr. Krabs:  Or a supply of entire rest---. Sandy: Once the testing is complete, the growth serum could be used to do a lot of good things. Mr. Krabs: Sandy: Sure would hate to see it fallen into the wrong hands. Someone who might just use it to try and get- Mr. Krabs: Rich! I'll be rich! Sandy: What's that, Mr. Krabs? Mr. Krabs: Uh, could I borrow your telephone?  Heh, it's ringing.","Mr. Krabs, I came as soon as I got the call!"
"Mr. Krabs:  Uh, did you bring a Krabby Patty like I was planning to ask you to do?","Aye aye, captain."
"Mr. Krabs: Perfect! Okay Sandy, administer the growth serum. Sandy: I don't know, Mr. Krabs. I can't predict what's going to happen. Mr. Krabs: Well, you did say it needs further testing. Test it on the Krabby Patty. Sandy: Well, I suppose so. But only a single drop. Mr. Krabs: Fair enough.  Is it suppose to smell like that? Sandy: If you two will excuse me, I need to pay a quick visit to a little squirrel's room.  Would you mind holding these while I'm gone? I'll only be a minute. Mr. Krabs:  Oh no, we don't mind.  Heh heh heh, there.",But Sandy said-
"Mr. Krabs:  Sh sh sh sh sh sh sh.  Thanks for the tour, Sandy, see you later! Mr. Krabs: Eh, that patty didn't look like it's growing to me. Pfft, growth serum. Waste of a perfectly Krabby Patty.",Mr. Krabs.
"Mr. Krabs: Great, let's get into the Krusty Krab.",Patty... becoming... awkward...
"Mr. Krabs: Oh, here, here.  Put it in this grocery bag.",Grocery bag? Where'd you get a grocery bag?
Mr. Krabs: The grocery store.,"So, uh, how big's this thing suppose to get?"
"Mr. Krabs: Heh heh, who cares. It's an endless supply of free patties! And cook them fast, boy!  We got customers! Squidward:  SpongeBob! Are you going to cook that thing or just stand there staring at it?","Sorry, Squidward. Coming right up!  Order up, Squidward!"
"Squidward: All right, keep them coming!",You betcha! Oh my goodness! I almost forgot to flip that one.  There we go.
"Squidward: Ok, that's great SpongeBob, but you don't have to knock me in the-  BAGEGAH!","Squidward, why did you make that weird noi-  Ahh! Easy boy. Easy. Never thought I'd say this but, I've gotta get out of this kitchen!  Nooooooo! Huh?  Squidward! That giant Krabby Patty is on a rampage! We have to escape!"
"Squidward:  Do you always go barefoot at work, or have I just never noticed before?","Wouldn't this just count as half-barefoot? Squidward, behind you!  Abandon ship!"
"Fish::  It's a Krabalanche! Mr. Krabs: Hold it! And just what is it you two think you're doing? Squidward: The restaurant's being invaded by a 300 foot uncooked menu item. We're getting outta here! Mr. Krabs: Whoa ho, this is a dream come true! You can't just leave! Squidward: Oh, do you have a better idea? Mr. Krabs: Stay?... And work? Squidward: Okay, you go right ahead. But I'd rather stay alive than stay at work. That means you- Mr. Krabs: Cashy!","Mr. Krabs, look out!"
"Mr. Krabs: Aaah! Squidward:  I think it's our break time, don't you? Plankton:  What's this?  Krabs is cooking up some new scheme to undermine the success of his biggest competitor? ME?!  Ah, I'd better get a closer look.    Out of my way, you fools!","Plankton, you're going the wrong way! Turn back or be crushed by a giant monster!"
"Plankton:  I can't hear you! I need to see this!  Holy mother of all creatures great and small!  It's the largest Krabby Patty the world has ever seen! It's... it's... gorgeous...  Oh, great patty! Take me! Take me home, daddy! Dale:  Keep running, it's getting closer! Fish: No, it isn't! Look! Where I'm pointing! It stopped! Dale:  Hey! He's right! Lady in Teal: Snookums! Look out!  You've got to promise mommy you'll be more careful! Neptune knows what he'd do if you were swallowed by the putrid ooze that's running rapid in our streets.",Gary! Gary wake up! Pack up your stuff! Our house is about to be knocked over by a giant Krabby Patty! Wake up Patrick! We gotta get out of here!
"Patrick: Huh...oh hi, SpongeBob. I just had the strangest dream, I was being chased by a giant Krabby Patty.",That wasn't a dream!
Patrick: SpongeBob! What do we do?,"We'll find Sandy, she'll know what to do!"
"Patrick: I don't think she's home, SpongeBob.","She has to be, this is her treedome! Sandy, where are you?"
Sandy: SpongeBob?,Sandy?
"Sandy: No, SpongeBob! Up here!  And hurry! I'm running out of coconut milk!","Wow, what happened to your treedome?"
"Sandy: Well, that giant soybean got too big, so I chopped it up into a giant salad. Anyone got any giant croutons? Patrick: ...I think I'm gonna be sick.","What's wrong, Patrick? Airsickness?"
"Patrick: No...the thought of a salad that size is more than I can handle. Sandy: And now that I've mastered the soy bean, I can master that patty.",Really? How?
"Sandy: The puzzle cube told me. The key to defeating the patty is you, SpongeBob! All I have to do is get you closer to the patty so that you can make direct contact.",Direct contact!? Are you sure?
"Sandy: The puzzle cube never lies. Sandy: Alright, we have visual. Putting you into position, SpongeBob.","Okay, bye. Well giant patty, I guess it's just you and me. Wait, what was I supposed to do again?"
Sandy: Just make direct contact!,"Direct contact, you mean like this?"
Sandy: It's working! Keep going! You can do it!,"Body filling with Krabby Patty. Enormous strain. Never absorbed this much Krabby Patty into my body before! In fact, I've never absorbed any Krabby Patties into my body, come to think of it! Ok...what do I do now?"
"Mr. Krabs: Step right up folks! For a limited time, free absorbed Krabby Patties! Squidward: SpongeBob! Two! Medium-rare!",Copy that. Over.
"Mr. Krabs: That's it! Don't crowd! While supplies last, don't be shy! Come on! Nancy Suzy Fish: Pearl, come on! The line for the Tunnel of Glove is filling up! This is going to be so, totally like, fun!","Hey, Pearl!"
"Pearl: Barnacles, SpongeBob, why are you talking to me? Nancy: Is that your boyfriend?","Well, I am a boy, and I am her friend."
"Nancy and Debbie: Nancy: SpongeBob! Stand here for a second! Nancy: Debbie:  Just thought we should keep this moment for... posterity. Nancy and Debbie:  Pearl's got a boyfriend! Pearl's got a boyfriend! Pearl's got a boyfriend! Patrick:  I didn't know you had a girlfriend. Pearl: Quiet! He is not my boyfriend! Patrick: That was fast.  Don't worry, buddy, there's plenty of fish in the street car. Nancy: Anyway, let's go to the ride!","Bye, Pearl! Tell Mr. Krabs I said Hi, Let's bounce Patrick. Patrick?"
"Patrick:  Busy, I'll catch up with you later. Man:  Next! Nancy:  Come on, Pearl! Man:  Sorry, only two per car. You'll have to wait for the next car.  Any single riders come to the front!","Oh! I'm a single rider!  Excuse me, pardon me, excuse me, pardon me, excuse me, pardon me! After you, fellow single rider Pearl."
"Pearl: Intercom System: Please keep your arms and legs inside at all times. And do not leave the boat until the ride, is over. Thank you!","Uhm, Pearl. Your arm... it's outside the boat."
"Pearl: BORING! Metal Angel: Will my arrow find her heart? Pearl: Ugh, this ride is lame! Hey! You're allowed to speak now!","I bet Mr. Krabs would get a kick out of this ride, don't you think? I mean he's so tough on the outside, but he's got a soft side, too. You know, this one time I was upset because my snail Gary he was sick and he let me leave 5 minutes early. Isn't that the sweetest thing you've ever heard?  Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah"
Narrator: Two very boring minutes later...,"And theeeen, there was that time that Mr. Krabs yelled at me for getting to work before he did, and he didn't even dock my pay. What a sweet man!"
Pearl:  You are making this ride even more boring! Is such a thing is possible!,You're supposed to remain seated until the ride's come to a COMPLEEETE-  Stop!
"Pearl: What was that?! Voice over Microphone: Attention sweethearts! We are experiencing technical difficulties. Please remain seated. Pearl: Oh, great! Just great! Narrator: Three hours later... Perch Perkins: Breaking News! The Tunnel of Glove has turned into a Tunnel of Terror! Just hours ago, the mechanism that controls the boats mysteriously stopped, trapping the doomed couple inside. We have the youth's friends here, who escaped the tunnel before tragedy befell the two sweethearts. Nancy:  It's true! We barely escaped with our lives! It was horrible! Perch Perkins: And what was the name of your friends? Nancy:  Pearl, and her boyfriend SpongeBob! Perch Perkins: So there you have it. As time quickly runs out  still no word from the imperiled whale girl and SpongeBob. Patrick:  Oh, no! I'm out of coral on a stick!  Time to chomp through the fried barnacles! Perch Perkins:  At this time survival looks bleek, for the little yellow sponge. Patrick: Nooooooo! This is my worst nightmare! I don't have a drink! Perch Perkins: Hey, doofus! Patrick: Huh? Perch Perkins: Your best buddy is trapped in the tunnel of glove and he may never escape! Patrick: You mean SpongeBob? Patrick: I'm coming, SpongeBob! Policeman: Hold it! No one beyond this point! Patrick:  My best buddy is trapped in there! You gotta let me through! Policeman: No can do, big guy. Too dangerous. Patrick: Fine!  Well, mister police guy won't let me in the front, huh! Well, I'll just find my own way in! Patrick: Let's see. Where could SpongeBob be?  Aha!  Con-grat-ulations! You have-uh-ooh-fouuunnd-uh your friend!  Oh, SpongeBob is right behind this door! I'm coming to get you, buddy!  SpongeBob?! Where-? Oh, there you are!  Hang in there! I'll free you from your shackles!  You're okay now, buddy! Go to your happy place! . Police Officer: Don't worry, little girl! We're working as fast as we can! Pearl: That wasn't me, that was SpongeBob! Policeman: Thank you, little boy!","It's okay, Pearl, it's only the dark. There's nothin' scary about... the dark! It's what's in the dark you gotta watch out for . Monsters, creeps, ghouls, CLOWNS, witches, werewolves, CLOWNS, crawly things, CRAWLY CLOWNS, those are the worst CRAWLY CLOWNS."
"Pearl: Well, whatever, SpongeBob, I'm gonna find my way out!","Pearl! I wouldn't do that! You're not keeping your arms and legs inside the boat! Pearl! Wait! I should probably accompany you, ya know, in case there's anything in the darkness."
Pearl: Fine. After you.,"Okay, then. I'll just fearlessly lead the way... Snakes!"
"Pearl: Those are streamers, fool!",Maybe I'll just stay up here... keep an eye out for any other creepies.
"Pearl: Oh, grow up, SpongeBob!  There aren't any creepies, there aren't any crawlies, there aren't any snakes! So stop whining so we can look for a way out of here!","Okay, Pearl, you've made your point. I'll stop talking about ogres, and vampire bat fish, and sharks, and..."
Pearl: SpongeBob!,...And I won't talk about ZOMBIES!
Pearl:  SpongeBob!,Or ghostly pirates!   Or laboratory creatures!
Pearl:  SpongeBob.,Or green beings from another planet!
"Pearl: Okay, SpongeBob. Okay.",Or bus drivers!
"Pearl: Ah, that's enough!",Shhh. Did you hear that?
"Pearl: Now I'm scared, SpongeBob!",It sounded like a crawly were-clown.
Pearl: But there's no such thing!,"Oh, he's here."
SpongeBob and Pearl:,"A ha ha ha, he."
"Patrick: Not another skunk! How did you beat me again?  Hey. You find it funny to lock up my best friend? Hey, I am talking towards you. Electrician: Did you see the dimwit who ripped this apart? Patrick: I unfortunately don't know who that dullard is, but I do know that you've kidnapped SpongeBob. Electrician: I don't know about your best friend. I'm just the electrician. Patrick: Wow! I see you are a magician. But that voodoo does not erase what you just have done. Electrician: You need to relax. Have a seat and cool off. Patrick: Geez. Some people are so pushy. Electrician: Just don't sit on THE LEVER! Patrick: Oops. Electrician: Now the whole ride is stuck on Dangerous Super Fast Mode! Patrick: You told me to sit on it.",What was that?
"Pearl: I don't know. Hold me, SpongeBob Both:  Huh!",Aww. The Hall of Great Romance!
"Patrick: Okay, okay. I think I heard you. I will not sit on anything else. I'll just gingerly lean on this wall. Electrician: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!",Wow! How romantical.
Pearl: Pssssst. I imagined it bigger.,"Look! Pearl, a sweet adorable cherub.  Pearl. I don't think this is the Tunnel of Glove. It's the Tunnel of Evil!"
Electrician:  Stupid kid. Patrick:  Nice facilities. Great water pressure. Electrician: Neptune's mother! SpongeBob and Pearl:,What's that?
"Both: Evil Fish #1: SpongeBob and Pearl: Evil Fish #2, 3 and 4: Uhhhhhh! Police Man: She's gonna blow! Noooooo! Other Fish: Pearl: I guess that turned out to be pretty fun.",Yeah.
"Nancy and Debbie: Nancy: SpongeBob is your boyfriend. Pearl:  How many times to I have to say it? Eww! Gross! Nancy: Oh, don't deny it. You were totally hugging him, and everyone knows that totally means he's totally your boyfriend. Crawly Clown:  Howdy, kids!",Crawly clown! Crawly clown!
"SpongeBob and Nancy and Debbie: Pearl:  You understand, girls. For posterity! Patrick: Are you gonna finish that? Sandy:  Yee-haw! Get along, little amoebas!  I did it! It's sarsaparilla time!  Holy osmosis! I lived as an amoeba for a whole week! Plankton:  Can't get it to work, can never get it to work! Karen:  Hello? Sandy:  Karen, my Mainframe! I just made a scientific breakthrough. Let's go and celebrate, girl! Karen: I'm sorry, Sandy. I can't hear you because  someone can't shut up! Sandy: That's okay, Karen. I'll tell you all about it later. Let's meet up tonight at the corner café! Karen: You got it, Bushy Tushy. I will definitely be there.  Okay, I'm off. Plankton: Those are not my test tubes! Karen: Ugh. Don't wait up. Plankton: I don't know where they came from!",Whoa!
Mrs. Puff:  Don't forget to signal.,"Oh, thanks for that, Mrs. Puff, I—"
"Mrs. Puff:  Hello? Sandy:  Howdy, Powder Puff! You wanna step out with me and Karen tonight? Mrs. Puff: Oh, yes, Sandy! I desperately need to step out.","Ooh! You're talking to Sandy? Mrs. Puff, tell her I said, Hi! Tell her I said, Hi! Tell her I said, Hi!"
"Sandy: We'll all meet up at the corner café tonight. Get ready to party, y'all! Mrs. Puff: Okay! See you soon!","Tell her I said, Hi!"
Sandy:  Whoo.,"Tell her I said, Hi! Mrs. Puff! Tell her I said, Hi!"
"Sandy:  Yeah! Sandy:  Y'all are never gonna believe what I did this week. It's about as crazy as a mule with a top hat! Mrs. Puff: Was it crazier than this?  Tell her I said 'Hi!' Tell her I said 'Hi!' Sandy: Sorry you day was tough, Puff. But my news will cheer your head off. I lived as a microscopic organism for a whole week! Karen: That's great, Sandy, but I've lived with a microscopic organism for 26 years and wait until you hear what that pipsqueak did today. He leaves his little telescope on the floor,  I rolled over it. It hurt like heck! And then, he gets mad at me for breaking it. Doesn't even ask if my wheel's okay. Mrs. Puff:  SpongeBob is the same way, Karen. After all these years of my trying to teach him how to drive, he doesn't know the first thing about a car!  I'm going crazy! Sandy: Hey, hey, hey, hey. We're supposed to be having a good 'ol time, not a good 'ol cry. Mrs. Puff:  I'm having a good time. Karen:  Me too. Sandy: Look, guys. This is a girls night out. And I'm gonna make sure we have more fun than three rats in a pickle barrel!  Gal pals unite! Sandy, Mrs. Puff and Karen: Yeah! Karen:  Gal pals! Karen: So, let me get this straight. Pranking Plankton will make me feel better? Sandy: You bet your sweet software it will. Now let's get pranking. Karen:  Money, money, money, money, money, money, money. Sandy: Ready?  Yah! Plankton: Ouch!  Krabs?! If I wasn't on probation, I'd call the cops! Karen:  Plank-ter-ren, me old nemesis-ser!  I've got good news-erer: I'm leaving town and going back into the Navery, so I'm giving you me secret formuler-er-rer! Plankton: What? How do I know this isn't a trap-erer? Ah! You got me doing it! Karen:  It's a going away gift-erer. Karen:  I'll get me formuler-er out of me safe-er-er-er and meet you at the Krusty Krab-er-er-er. Plankton: I'll meet you there, Eugene honey!  Kiss! Sandy: I think he bought it. Karen: Psst! Come on! Sandy and Mrs. Puff: Whoa-whoa! Wa-whoa! Whoa! Plankton: I'm here! Mr. Krabs: Plankton! You've interrupted me beauty sleep! Plankton: Hey, Eugene. I'll just take the secret formuler-erer heh and be on my way. Mr. Krabs:  Over my dead body! Plankton:  Whatever you say, Welcher! Karen: Y'know, you're right, Sandy. I do feel so much better! Sandy, Mrs. Puff and Karen: Gal pals! Mrs. Puff: I'm not so sure about pranking SpongeBob. He can't help he's insufferable. Sandy: Nobody likes a good prank more than SpongeBob. Mrs. Puff: Mm. Okay. Sandy: Virtual reality helmet, engaged. Sandy: Shh, shh. All right, Karen. You're up.",Huh? C-coming! Hello? Can I help you?
"Mrs. Puff:  Hello, Mr. SpongeBob. I'm just here to deliver your driver's license.  Congratulations.","Oh, uh, thanks— My driver's license!"
Mrs. Puff:  And your new boat!,"My new boat!  Whoa, wow!  Am I dreaming?  Nope, it's for real.  Look at me, everyone! I'm driving! I'm driving!"
"Mrs. Puff:  Oh! That voice. Yes, you're driving! You're driving me crazy!  I know! Let's make the road really bumpy!","Wha-what? Whoa!  Whoa! Ow!  Hm, those are some potholes."
"Sandy: Whoa, girl! Easy there. Maybe it's about time we let SpongeBob in on the joke. Mrs. Puff:  Okay. I'll tell him. SpongeBob— SpongeBob! Mrs. Puff: Poor little guy! This is all my fault! Sandy: No, Puff! This is all my fault! Karen:  Gal pals! Sandy: Not now, Karen! Karen: Sorry.","Ooh, a turn. Better use my hand signals."
Sandy: SpongeBob! Look out!,"Hi, I'm driving. Hi, I'm driving. Hi, I'm driving!  Look, I got a license.  Whoo! Nothing but me and miles of road!  near a construction site]"
"Sandy: We gotta stop this cart, gal pals! Mrs. Puff: Whoa! Whoa!  I'll save you, SpongeBob!","Now I'm flying!  Whee! Huh? Huh? Huh.  Huh?  Mrs. Puff? Oh, I see. You guys played a prank on me, huh? I love pranks!  Thank you, thank you, thank you! You gave me a chance to live my driving dream. And most importantly... Mrs. Puff saved my life! Now I will stay by your side forever!"
"Mrs. Puff: Oh, no! No!","Huh? Oh, you girls got me again!  Vroom! Vroom!"
"Sandy: I know somewhere where we can finish our ladies night in peace. Karen:  Good one.  This was a great idea, Sandy. Mrs. Puff: Yeah, what a nice place to relax.","Vroom, vroom! Honk, honk! Beep, beep! Oh, look at me, Mrs. Puff! I'm driving!"
"Sandy, Mrs. Puff and Karen:  Men.  Gal pals! Mr. Krabs: Hmmm. Sounds like a mutiny.  What the...?!  What in Neptune's knickers is this?! Frank (lifeguard): Where's the dude in the boat, man? Where's the dude in the boat?! Mr. Krabs: Ooooh! You mean Mr. Squidward.  Well, he's at his post right over the...  Where's me cashier?!  SpongeBob! Where in Poseidon's pantyhose is that sorry excuse for a cashier?!",Sorry excuse for a cash-? Ooh! You mean Squidward.
Mr. Krabs:  Yes. I mean Squidward. Where is he?!,He's in the storage room. Says he's working on something requiring...  ...complete privacy.
"Mr. Krabs: Ooh. He requires, privacy does he?  What's all the ruckus?!  Oh no! Please, no! This is terrible!  Are you hurt? Squidward: Oh, well. Thank you for ask- Mr. Krabs: I wasn't talking to you!  Don't worry, papa's here. Squidward: Mr. Krabs?  Mr. Krabs!  Mr. Krabs!  Your shelf collapsed on me, and I twisted my ankle! Mr. Krabs: I didn't even know you had ankles. Squidward: As if working here wasn't bad enough, now I've been injured on the job. Mr. Krabs: Injured? On the job?! Oh no! That would mean...","It's all right here, Mr. Krabs. The Bikini Bottom OWS Worker Safety Guidelines. Let's see, it says here...blah blah blah blah, accident... blah blah blah blah, owner negligence... blah blah blah blah, substantial fines."
"Mr. Krabs: Substantial fines?!  You know, Squidward... uh... I can't really let the OWS hear about this, you know. Squidward: Really? Maybe I should give them a call. Mr. Krabs: Now now, Squidward!  Let's not be hasty!  I'll take care of your poor little ankle personally.  SpongeBob! Squidward needs first aid!","First aid? Fear not, injured co-worker,  for I am certified."
"Squidward: Oh, no no no, don't touch me!  SpongeBob, would you mind letting go of my nose?","Oh, sure."
"Squidward: Ow!  Get away from me!  Well, this is it! I am reporting you to the OWS! Mr. Krabs:  Please don't report me to the OWS. I'll do anything. Anything at all ya ask. Squidward: Hmm? Anything? Mr. Krabs: Now if you want anything, just ask. Squidward: I could sure use a pillow. Squidward: And one more for my foot. Mr. Krabs: Well, sure thing.  Okay, if that's all, I'll just get back to me-- Squidward: Fluff it. Mr. Krabs:  What did you say? Squidward: I said, fluff it. Mr. Krabs:  Fluff my pillow, I'll fluff your pillow. Squidward:  What's that? Mr. Krabs: Oh, uh, I said, uh, will there be anything else, Mr. Squidward? Squidward:  No thanks. That should do it.  Oh, Krabsy! Mr. Krabs:  What can I do for you? Squidward: Just one more thing. I'm afraid you'll have to take over for me today. Mr. Krabs: What!? No! Squidward: Oh, that's too bad. It looks like my twisted ankle might become a 'permanent injury.' Mr. Krabs:  Well, that would be an even bigger fine. You just sit back down and relax. We don't want you being injured any further.  That was close. Well, at least the Krusty Krab isn't very busy today.  Of course.","Oh, Mr. Krabs, I have the OWS accident report form to fill out. Let's see, Question 1: Was the accident the result of criminal negligence?  Mr. Krabs, what is criminal negligence?"
Mr. Krabs:  It's what criminals wear to bed. Don't worry about that. We don't need to bother those nice folks over at the OWS. We can do our own investigation.,"Oh, you mean we should find out if you're criminally negligent."
"Mr. Krabs: Well, no, not exactly, what I mean is...  I think Mr. Squidward is hiding something, and I want you to investigate.","Yes, sir, Mr. Krabs..."
Mr. Krabs: Shhhh.  You gotta keep it a secret from Squidward.,"Can do, Mr. Krabs. Hmm? Huh? If I'm gonna get to the bottom of this, I'm gonna need some help.  Okay, you stand here...  Now, pretend you're Squidward and reach for a bun.  And I'll simulate the shelf hitting Squidward.  Hmm, we seem to be missing something. Well, we'll have to do it again."
"Patrick: Uhh, do what again?  Ow!","Darn, one more time."
"Patrick: Ow! Squidward: Oh, Krabsy, after tea, I think a full tentacle massage would be an order. Mr. Krabs: I ain't touching your tentacles with a 10-ft... Squidward:  Hello, Office Workers Safety Department.... Mr. Krabs:  I'll go get the massage oil now.  Boy, ya got anything?","Not yet, Mr. Krabs."
Squidward:  I'm waiting! Mr. Krabs: Coming!,This just isn't adding up.
Patrick:  Pudding?,"We must be missing something. Patrick, we're going to need help even more expert than you."
"Frankie Billy:  Um, hello? Anybody here? Mr. Krabs:  Oh, for the love of peat moss. Frankie Billy: Anybody at all? Hmm, maybe they're on their lunch bre-- Frankie Billy: Um, aren't you gonna wash your...... Mr. Krabs: How long do I have to keep this up? Squidward: Oh, it's gonna be a long, slow recovery. Time to pop my back barnacles. OWS Manager: Office Workers Safety Department. I'm here to investigate the accident. Mr. Krabs:  Oh, no! Squidward:  Oh, yes! Mr. Krabs: Squidward, after all I've done for you, you've called the OWS?!","He didn't call them, Mr. Krabs, we did. I needed help investigating the accident. Right, buddy?"
"Patrick: Uh, breakfast, green, Finland. Squidward: Well I, for one, plan to give him my full cooperation.  Anything I can do, inspector? OWS Manager: So, this is where the accident occurred. Can anyone tell me what happened? Squidward: I'll be glad to...  I mean, I can re-live the whole tragic episode, if I must.  It was just another day at the Krusty Krab. I was at the register, giving it a nice shining between orders, when something caught my eye; a patty bun with 10 seeds, instead of 11. I wasn't about to stand idly by and allow a customer go without all his guaranteed nutrients and vitamins. I must replace it with a proper bun!, I said. I dashed into action. Squidward: Excuse me, sir. Frankie Billy: What a diligent and charming individual. Squidward: That's when I entered the back room to grab a new bun. Just as I was about to reach for one, I heard a slight creek, and that's when the chain snapped, and then, slam! My heroic and brave actions were halted by an unsafe shelf. Disoriented and in pain, I collapsed, and lay for nearly six hours crying softly for help.  Help! H-help! Help.  The worst part, though, is...is that I didn't get that kind gentleman his new bun. OWS Manager: Hmmm, I see. As you know, certain penalties are involved... Mr. Krabs: Oh, no... OWS Manager:  One... Dollar. Mr. Krabs:  No! Why?! Why, why?! Huh?  What's this? Hold on a second. Me video surveillance camera! Squidward:  What?! Mr. Krabs: I forgot. I, uh, um, borrowed that from the airport. Now, let's see what really happened here.  You... f-f-f-f-f-faker! Not to mention you were sleeping on the job! Squidward: What are you going to do to me? Mr. Krabs: I'm gonna make you pay. Squidward: Oh, no!","Well, Patrick, here it is, the Palace of Pranks, the greatest novelty shop in Bikini Bottom. All the greatest pranksters shop here. This is where I got my gag seanut brittle can."
"Patrick: Oh, boy, Seanut Brittle - gimmie!","Patrick, wait, it's a booby trap, remember?"
"Patrick: Nice try, SquarePants, but it's not gonna work this time. I'm gonna have some of your delicious Seanut Brittle!  Where's the Seanut Brittle?","That gets funnier every time you say it, Patrick. Come on, let's go inside."
Patrick:  Seanut Brittle?,"Ah!  Nothing compares to the smell of cheap plastic novelty items.  Pranks, gags, and gross-out toys as far as the eye can see!  Isn't it everything I said it would be, Patrick?"
"Patrick:  Hey, Seanut Brittle!  Oh, darn it, not again! Frank: Good to see you, SpongeBob. How's my number one customer doing?","Great, Frank. This is my friend Patrick. He wants to become a prankster, too."
"Frank:  Well, pleasure to meet you, Patrick.  That's your first lesson, son, the granddaddy of all pranks. The joy buzzer. Patrick: I don't get it. Frank: You don't have to get it. The prank is for the enjoyment of the prankster.","You see, Patrick, Frank here is the master. I learned all I know about pranks from him. Okay, Frank, let's see what you've got."
"Frank: Well, this came in just this morning.  Have some gum.  Ha! Exploding chewing gum. Only $9.95. Patrick:  I don't get it.",What can we get for one dollar?
Frank: One dollar will get you this fake gag dollar -  fool your friends into thinking you've got a real dollar.,What else have you got?
Frank: A whoopee cushion.,Nah.
Frank: Fake vomit.,No.
Frank: Real vomit?,Eugghh. Don't you have anything good?
"Frank: Well, there is one prank that I've been saving for a real top of the line prankster.  Invisible Spray!","Wow, invisible spray!"
Patrick: But I can see it.,"Gee, Patrick, just think of the pranks we could pull with this."
"Frank: Good choice. Now be careful with that stuff, boys. It stains clothes.","Thanks, Frank.  Here it is, Patrick. The ultimate prank-- invisible spray."
Patrick: What are we gonna do with it?,"I know! We'll go spray the park bench and then sit on it, and when people walk by, we'll be floating in midair."
"Nat: They're floating in midair! Tina-Fran: How do they do that? Patrick: That's the ultimate prank! Good idea, SpongeBob!","Well, let's get started."
"Patrick: Okay, I'm ready.",Any particular reason you took your pants off?
"Patrick: Well, that stuff stains clothes, right?","That it does, Patrick, that it does. Good thinking. Here, hold this a second.  Okay, Patrick, give me the can."
"Patrick: I think since spraying the park bench was my idea, I should get to spray it.","Patrick, spraying the park bench was my idea."
"Patrick: Yeah, but I said it was a good idea!",Give me that thing.
"Patrick: Hey, the invisible spray works! Tom: And on your right, if you look, you'll see two naked guys fighting over a can of paint!","Oh my gosh, Patrick, help me find our clothes!"
"Patrick: I gotta hand it to you, SpongeBob. You look kinda funny.","Righty, where are you?  No one messes with Righty!  We'll see how you like it!  Kind of gives you an empty feeling, huh?"
Patrick: Yeah.  I see what you mean.,"No guts, no glory!"
"Narrator: Several bad puns later... Patrick: Oh, hey, I think this thing is empty.","Oh, no, it can't be! How are we going to pull off the ultimate prank? Thanks a lot, Patrick. You used the last of it."
"Patrick: Hey, I think I found our pants.  Oops! Here, these are yours.","Oh, forget the pants, Patrick. Let's get home and wash this paint off."
"Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob, do you know what time it is?","Oh sure, it's...half past invisible."
"Patrick: Gee, it's getting late.","Let's ask this guy. Excuse me, sir, but do you have the time?"
"Nat: Sure.  It's, uh, ten to three.",Thank you.
"Nat: Don't mention it. Patrick: Don't mention what? Nat: Uh, who said that? Patrick: Me. Nat: AHHH! GHOSTS! Nat's eyes: Aaahhh!! Patrick: Hey! I'm no ghost. The nerve of that guy and his driving eyeballs.","Wait a second, Patrick, my brain just hatched an idea."
Patrick: Lay it on me.,"Okay, we're invisible, right?"
Patrick: Yeah.,"If that guy thought we were ghosts, we could haunt everybody in Bikini Bottom. Oh, it's the ultimate prank."
SpongeBob and Patrick: Whoo! High five!,Let's go scare us some suckers.
"Sandy: Huh?  Well, that's funny. I thought I heard voices. Huh?  I thought I left that glass of peanut juice on the table.  And didn't I toss that old lamp out yesterday? And since when did I acquire all these portraits of Patrick?! SpongeBob and Patrick: We're ghoooosts. Sandy: I knew it was you guys! Alright, joke's over. Take off the sheets.  It is ghosts!","Boy, we really scared her!"
Patrick: Who's gonna be our next victim?,"A better question would be, who isn't?"
Mrs. Puff: Double-dark deep-sea light diet cake!  You will soon be mine.  Oh!  GHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSTS!!!!! Squidward: Huh? Squidward: GHOSTS!!! SpongeBob and Patrick:  COWaAaBuuUUnggaAAaaAaaAA!!! Bill: GHOSTS! AHHH! Gale: Ghosts! Fred: Ghosts! Lonnie: Ghosts! Francis: Ghosts! Sandals: Toast. Harold: Ghosts!,It's official - we're the greatest pranksters ever. The whole town thinks we're ghosts.
Patrick: Yeah.,"There's only one guy left to scare, and we'll have pranked everybody in Bikini Bottom--  Mr. Krabs."
Patrick: It says he isn't scared of ghosts.,We'll see about that!
"Mr. Krabs: Ghosts? Ha! I ain't afraid of no ghosts. Every sailor knows a ghost won't come near a fella as long as he's wearing his spotted neckerchief...  And his dried-up sea leprechaun.  And a bit of gold never hurt.  But to be on the safe side, I'm also wearing me pants in a melvin knot!  Got me shivering timber brace,  and the hairs on the back of me neck are taped down!  And I'm all wrapped up in a suit of anti-ghost armor... and if none of this stuff works, I've got me secret weapon—the specter deflector!  So just try and get me, you ghosts! Bring it on! SpongeBob and Patrick:  KraaaAAAAbBBbsss! Mr. Krabs: Wha?","Krabs, we've come to haunt yooOOOOuuUUUuuu!"
"Mr. Krabs: Stay back, I'm well-armed! Mr. Krabs: I'm warning ya! Mr. Krabs:  Ooh! SpongeBob and Patrick:  Boo. Mr. Krabs: I gotta get out of here!","You can't escape, Krabs. We've glued the door shut."
"Mr. Krabs:  You'll never get me! Patrick: Nice try, Krabs, but we've replaced all the glass with rubber!","Too late, Krabs, we've already clogged all the toilets."
"Mr. Krabs: Please, spirits, leave me be. Patrick:  We got him good, SpongeBob.","Wait, Patrick, I've got one more idea.  You're going to pay, Krabs."
"Mr. Krabs:  No, spirits, please!",Pay!
Mr. Krabs: No!,PaaAAAAyyYYyyy!
"Mr. Krabs: NOOOO!!!!! Don't burn me dollar!  Well, well, well, if it isn't SpongeBob and Patrick!",I know not these names of which you speak.
"Patrick: Uh, SpongeBob. SpongeBob, we're visible again. Mr. Krabs: So you two are the Bikini Bottom ghosts?","We're really sorry, Mr. Krabs. Please don't chop us into little pieces and eat 'em."
"Mr. Krabs: Hey, come on, boys, I'm hip! I pulled my share of pranks when I was your age. Had me some laughs. That's what we did tonight, right? We had a good laugh. Come on, laugh with me.  Uh, any particular reason you boys are naked?","Yeah, the invisible paint stains clothes."
"Mr. Krabs: Of course it does. Well, you two better hurry home before someone sees ya nude.","Yeah, I think I'd die of embarrassment if that happened."
"Patrick: Me too. Mr. Krabs: Woo, now we wouldn't want that, would we? It's getting late now. You two pranksters better get going.","Mr. Krabs, thanks for being such a good sport."
Mr. Krabs:  Don't mention it.,"That Mr. Krabs, always looking out for me. What a guy!"
Patrick: Yeah! Mr. Krabs: The Krusty Krab presents: LIVE NUDE PRANKSTERS!  Starring the Bikini Bottom Ghosts!,Patrick!
Patrick: Yeah?,We should have bought the whoopee cushion!
"Squidward:  Squidward, my man, you are perfect!  Oh, no, my kelp garden is all wilted! Don't worry, fellas, I've got just the thing to perk you up.  Kelp Grow! Hold still. Patrick: They're pretty. Squidward:  Patrick?",And SpongeBob!
Squidward: What are you two doing here?,"Patrick is helping me to do good deeds today, like trimming your kelp garden."
"Squidward: Stop eating my kelp! Patrick: Okay, okay, jeez. Try to help a fella out.  I'll just have to eat this ice cream cone instead. Squidward: Oh, do you like to eat ice cream, Patrick? Patrick:  Yeah. Squidward: Then have some more!  Still want that ice cream? Patrick: Boy, I do! Thanks, Squidward. Want some, SpongeBob? Last one to the cone is a rotten clam! Squidward: Are you done yet? Patrick:  All done.","Wow, I wish I had a bottle of that kelp grow stuff."
"Patrick: Here you go, SpongeBob. Squidward: Hey!","Thank you, Patrick. You know, my shoes feel kinda tight.  Huh, nice and roomy."
"Patrick: Do you want your grow juice back? Squidward:  Oh, no, I only paid for it. I wouldn't want to deprive you of it. Patrick: Okay. Squidward: Give me that! Patrick: But you said you didn't want it. Squidward: Fine! Why don't you two use it for your good deeds?","That's a great idea, Squidward!"
"Patrick: Yeah, I'll go first. Squidward:  What did you do? SpongeBob and Patrick: Ooh! Patrick: Quite an improvement, don't you think?","Oh, yes, I agree completely. Come on, Patrick, let's do some good deeding!"
"Patrick: Yay! Squidward: Hey, get back here,  and fix my nose!","Hey, Gary, that shell of yours looks a little cramped."
Gary: Meow.,"There, now you've got plenty of space."
"Gary: Meow. Squidward: Aha, they went this way. Gary: Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. Squidward:  Oh, tell me about it. Gary: Meow.",There he is.
Patrick: Get ready.,"Now, Patrick!  There you go, Mr. Krabs. You always wanted to make big money.  Good deed accomplished! I ask for no reward."
"Patrick: You're a saint, SpongeBob! A saint!","I know, and it is a burden I must carry. But time's a wasting! We need another good deed!"
"Patrick: Oh, I got one! Um...you know that thing?","Um, right, that thing that we did that day."
"Patrick: No, the other one. Um... Squidward: SpongeBob!  Hey! Look at what you did to me. You better fix my nose, or you'll hear from my lawyer!",Are you sure?
"Patrick: Yeah, you'd be ugly again. Squidward: Yes, I'm sure!","Hmm, how to fix his nose?"
"Patrick: What if you turn the bottle upside down, maybe it will shrink it?","Patrick, that's brilliant!"
"Squidward: No, wait, don't.",That didn't work.
"Patrick: Well, try it again.","Hmm. I think I'll just even him out. First, a bigger head."
Patrick: Now his body is too small.,"Right, too small."
"Patrick: Arms are too short.  Legs are too short.  Other arm.  Feet too small.  Teeth!  Belly button.  Perfect! Squidward:  I look horrible! SpongeBob and Patrick: Ew!  He inked! Squidward: Well, pardon my anatomy!  What's happening? SpongeBob and Patrick: All right! Squidward: What did you do to me?! Patrick: I know! I know! Um, made you a monster!",And a giant.
SpongeBob and Patrick: A giant monster! Squidward: I don't want to be a giant lumbering monster!  What will I do now?,"That's easy, play giant lumbering monster tag!"
Patrick: Yeah! Yeah! You chase us!,"And we run around and scream like crazy!  Try and catch us, giant monster Squidward!"
"Squidward: SpongeBob, come back here!",This is really fun.
"Patrick:  I know. We should do this...  ...more often. Nancy:  A monster! Harold, Nat, Shubie, Sally, Nazz, and Sadie:  Monster! Medieval Fish: Monster! Male Fish: Huh?","You are very good at pretending, Squidward. Look how you're all sweaty and angry, and you got the whole town to play along."
"Squidward: What the? Miss Shell: Kick him! Canadian Fish: Let's get him and make back bacon! Lifeguard: Scoop out his... eyeballs and use 'em as... giant... misshapen soccer balls! Taylor: Wait. Maybe he's a nice monster, like in my story book. Lifeguard: Oh, right, I, I haven't thought of that. Well, are you?","Oh, goodness gracious, yes. Squidward is the nicest giant of them all."
"Patrick: Yeah! Squidward, tell them about all those times that you didn't punch me in the face.",Even though you really wanted to.
"Squidward:  Oh, quiet, you moron! Nazz: He hurt the little one's feelings. Shubie: Why, that's not very nice at all. Lifeguard:  Take him down, boys! Squidward: Ow! Lifeguard: This oughta fix him. Squidward: Okay, okay, I'm nice.  Now will you leave me alone? Sadie: Oh, yeah? Then prove it! Lifeguard: Yeah! Are you nice enough to...? Um... Nazz: Compliment me on my new hairdo? Squidward:  Yeah, sure, whatever. Nazz:  Oh, thank you. Camp Councilor: Let the junior guppies camp out under your toenails? Skier: Take me to the top of Mount Humongous?  Whee...! Farmer: Blow on my old windmill? Tyler: Do my homework? Nat: Dust my attic? Taylor: Feed my snail? Shubie: Wow, this giant really is friendly after all. Harold: He taught my grandmother how to read! Lifeguard: He helped me start my own blimp ride company. Nat: He helped me build a... a... All:  Bless you. Gesundheit.  Ahem? Squidward: What? Evelyn: He didn't say bless you. Lifeguard: Get him! Shubie: Where'd he go? Lifeguard: Is that him over there? Squidward:  Uhh, I'm a lamppost? Lifeguard: Oh. Well, let's go check down by the creek! We'll teach him to dip his feet! Squidward: Well, Squidward, I guess this is your new life.  And this is your new bed.  Good night, old life.  I'll miss you.","Good night, Squidward."
Squidward:  Where are you?,"Patrick and I are having a sleepover, in your belly button."
Squidward: What the? Get out of there!  You two have ruined my life!,"Oh, Patrick, this is terrible! Squidward did not like the kindness we did him."
Patrick: So?,We shall do him another.  We did it!
Squidward: What the?,"Since our last kindness didn't go so well, we brought you a new one."
"Squidward: A giant clarinet?  And it sounds divine!  Now I'm too small to play my giant clarinet!  It was the most beautiful thing I've ever played!  Well, at least I still have my kelp garden.  What?  You cut it down?",We used your kelp to make a kelp-mâché clarinet. Another funtastic day at Glove World!
Bus Driver: Ahem.,"Let me get my wallet.  Wait, let me check this pocket.  No...  Patrick? Do you have any change?"
Patrick: How much do you need?,How much is it?
Bus Driver: Fifty cents.,Fifty cents.
Patrick: Nope.,Lemme check my other poc-
Bus Driver: Forget it!,What did you say?
Bus Driver: Just take your seat!,"Thanks, mister."
"Bus Driver: Yeah, whatev- Patrick: Show me what you got at Glove World!",Okay! Here's my glove light.
Patrick: Wow...,I see you!
Patrick: I got gloves for my glove action-figure!,Cool!
"Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob?","Yeah, Patrick?"
Patrick: Where's 'Leaving Bikini Bottom'?,Where did you see that?
Patrick: We just passed the sign. 'You are now in Leaving Bikini Bottom'.,What?!
"Patrick: What's wrong, SpongeBob?","Patrick, I think we're on the wrong...  ...bus!  But, sir, we need to get back to Bikini Bottom."
"Bus Driver:  Oh, well. Patrick: What is this, SpongeBob?","Rock Bottom.  It sure is weird around here. Kinda different, even the soil looks different."
"Green Soil: Do you...  mind...  putting me down? Patrick: Bob, I don't like it here. It's dark and scary. I don't wanna be here. I wanna go home. Look, I can't even tell the bathrooms apart!","Uhh, that's an easy one, Patrick. We just wait for somebody to come out and then you'll know.  Maybe we should wait for one more."
Patrick: I still can't read the sign! I wanna go home!,"Uhh, uhh, okay. You wait for the bus. Call me when it comes. I'm gonna get a bus schedule.  Boy, this place sure is creepy."
"Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob, the bus is here!  SpongeBob...!","I guess Grandpa SquarePants was right. Don't run for a bus.  Especially one that's going up at a 90-degree angle.  I better go wait for the next one.  C'mon, bus! I've got to get home and feed Gary!  Uh-oh, shoe's untied.  Over, under, and over, and loop-dee-loop, and over...  and through the barrel.  My balloon!  Wait! Hold on! Stop that bus! Aww, not again!  Umm, excuse me, sir. Can you help me?  Uhh, uhh, yeah, I...  No, no! Not the balloon! I need to know when the next bus comes...  Well, there goes another one. I gotta be more diligent. I am not leaving this spot no matter what!  I'm gettin' hungry. Glove candy dispenser! Good thing I went to Glove World!.  Eww, glove flavored! Hey, what's that?  A candy machine.  Mmm, kelp nougat crunch. Mmm...  I'm not leaving this spot no matter what!  I'll only be gone a second.  Hey!  Ooh!  Come on, come on!  Hey! That was mine!  Barnacles! Alright, that's it! No more mister nice guy!  Tartar sauce!  Fish paste!  I'm getting to the bottom of this, right now! I want a bus to Bikini Bottom! I am first in line and no one is gonna tell me otherwise!  Okay, second! I am second in line!  Okay, third is good!  Fourth, not bad.  Okay, 329. I am 329th in line and nobody forget it!"
Window Attendant: Next.,"Well, at least the line is moving.  Tartar sauce!"
Window Attendant:  Next.  Next.  Next.  Next.,Huh?
Window Attendant: Next.,"Finally! Yes, I'm next!  When is the next bus to Bikini Bottom?"
Window Attendant: What?,The bus schedule. The next bus.
Window Attendant: I can't...  understand...  your accent.,The next bus...  to Bikini...  Bottom.
"Window Attendant: Ohh.  Why didn't you say so?  Next bus leaves in...  5 seconds.  Ohh, tough luck, kid.  That's the last one til' morning.","Oh,  no...  you don't!"
Window Attendant: Goodnight!,"Hold it, I'm not through here!  Do you hear me?  I demand you come back and give me a bus to Bikini Bottom right now! Until then, I am not leaving this spot!  Okay, like I said, I'll be right here when you get back. At this spot. In the dark. By myself. With no one around. Except my glove light!  Ah, that's better. This isn't your average everyday darkness. This is... advanced darkness. Hey!  If I close my eyes, it doesn't seem so dark. Who's there?!  Well, I guess that spot will be there tomorrow. I better just keep walking.  Running! Better start running! Running!  Sprinting! I just gotta keep sprinting!  Sitting, sitting. Bleeding.  Hey, who's there?  Okay, that's enough!  Don't come closer!  I'm warning you!  I'm a sponge!  Oh, it's only you.  Well, that solves my balloon problem, but I have a bigger problem.  I'm kinda stuck here. I need to catch a bus to get home. You don't understand a word I'm saying, do you? Balloon...  has...  enough...  air...  thanks.  Hey, I get it, balloon travel! Thank...  you!"
Creature: You're welcome!,"Ah, home at last."
"Patrick:  Don't worry, SpongeBob, I'm coming back for ya! Mr. Krabs: Squidward. What do you think the nurse is doing to him in there? Squidward: It's called a checkup. It's an invasion of your personal space that's good for you. Nurse: Sir, please hold still! I need to check your reflexes.","Sorry, nurse lady. I've never had a checkup before. It's so much fun!"
"Nurse:  You seem fine...physically, at least.  Congratulations. You pass.",Wow! Imagine if it was this easy to get your boating license!
"Squidward: Eh. The world shudders at the thought. Nurse: Mr. Tentacles?! Squidward: Finally! Let's get this over with! Mr. Krabs:  Ooh...So, Boy-o...how was it in there? Anything I should be...terrified of?","Oh, no, Mr. Krabs! Getting a checkup is the best! The nurse poked me  and prodded me  and jabbed me...  and pulled me  and twisted me.  And—"
"Mr. Krabs: Okay, okay. That's enough. Squidward: You want me to what? Mr. Krabs:  Ooh... Nurse:  Fill this, please. Squidward: Hmph. Squidward: Could I get a little privacy? Nurse: Hmm...good color.  Solid line fidelity. The ink is a little thick, though. Squidward: Hey! Nurse: You just need to drink more water. You pass.  Is there a...Eugene Krabs?!","Your turn, Mr. K."
"Squidward: Ha, ha! Looks like the old man is scared of getting his checkup. Nurse: This is no laughing matter! Every employee must get their checkup or the restaurant will be closed under orders of the Bikini Bottom Better Business Bureau. Squidward:  Not the...B.B.B.B.B!",You heard her. The...
Squidward: Perhaps we could reach some sort of understanding.,"Oh, oh, I know! We'll give Mr. Krabs his checkup over the weekend and you just pick up the results on Monday.  Everybody wins!"
Squidward: I was just gonna bribe her. Nurse: Monday works.,Yay! We get to spend the weekend together!
Mr. Krabs:  Dodged that bullet!,He's coming!
Squidward: It says here the first part of Krabs' exam is the pinch test. We just need to do it in a way he doesn't know he's being tested!,Way ahead of ya!  We'll make him an offer he can't resist!
Squidward:  Free Money Inside. Ha. Not bad.,"Come on, before he sees us!"
"Mr. Krabs:  Huh? Free money, hey?  Don't mind if I do! Mr. Krabs:  Where's that money? I'm not feeling any money!",Okay. I brought plenty of things for Mr. Krabs to pinch—a pinch of salt— A baby's cheek! Lucky that was a robot baby.
"Squidward: SpongeBob, quit fooling around!  Ow!  We need to test his ability to pinch something tough, you ninny!","Tough, huh? Gosh, the toughest thing I can think of is...Mr. Krabs himself!"
"[SpongeBob grabs Mr. Krabs arms and ties them together. Mr. Krabs' right claw pinches his left claw, causing him to groan in pain. The claws crack and break into pieces, revealing his flabby, soft skin underneath. Mr. Krabs:  Ohhh! Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh! Me achin' pinchers! And I didn't even get any money! Mr. Krabs: Hee hee! A penny! It's me lucky day! Squidward: Pinch test failed. Well, maybe he'll do better on the eye stalk test. Mr. Krabs: Free suits? Oh, boy!","Welcome, sir. Step up here, and we'll begin. Squidward, do you have the measuring tape? Just grabbing some measurements... Sir, try to keep still."
"Mr. Krabs: Whoa, there! Don't you need some other measurements? I mean, how 'bout my inseam?","Uh, no, you can put that away, sir. I'm almost done."
"Mr. Krabs: Aah! That's it!  Get off me, you terrible tailor!",Tell your friends about us!
Mr. Krabs: Not likely! Squidward:  How'd he do?,"Oh, he didn't make the cut."
"Squidward: Of course.  Up next, it says we have to get him an X-ray of him. Any ideas?","I do have one plan that might work. Hello there, sir! Are you rightfully afraid of your own mortality? Wanna make sure that when you're gone, you are not forgotten? Well, step on up and marvel at the latest technological wonder—photography!  Preserve your precious punim for generations to come!  Conquer time itself at absolutely no charge to you!"
"Mr. Krabs: No charge, hey?  Well...I am very photogeneric. Mr. Krabs: Let's see...how do you start this thing? Oh! Here we go! Mr. Krabs: Hoo! Gettin' kinda hot in here!  Should my underwear be on fire?",How many X-rays of Mr. Krabs do we need?
Squidward:  Just one. How many did you set it to take?,25...thousand?
"Mr. Krabs: Uh...this is getting a little... Eh...thank you.  No more pictures, please.","Squidward, is his skeleton supposed to just fall apart like that?"
"Squidward: Not at all. On to the next test. Mr. Krabs:  Oh...oh... Oh, what a day.","Hey, man, you look like you've had a rough day. How'd ya like to chill out with a nice massage? It's free."
"Mr. Krabs:  Free, huh?",Free.
"Mr. Krabs: Eh. Okay. Let's get this over with. Squidward: Remember,  this is the cold-blooded test. Just take his temperature.","You got it, best friend."
Squidward: Don't call me that.,Boop!
Squidward:  Don't you do that! Mr. Krabs: I'm ready!,"All right, man, let's see if we can, like, work out some of this tension."
"Mr. Krabs: Why, you—Oh, no, no, no, no, no! Squidward: How's the cold-blooded test going?",Great! He's in the freezer right now.
"Squidward: SpongeBob, you moron! Cold-blooded means your body is the same temperature as the water around it, not that you're actually cold! Mr. Krabs: Squidward? Whyyyyyy? Squidward: Oh, Mr. Krabs, I'm so sorry! We had to give you your physical without you knowing, or the Krusty Krab would've been shut down, and I'd have to get a real job!",All right! Final test! Shell durability!
"Mr. Krabs:  No, no, no, no, no, no! Mr. Krabs:  Now you see why I don't like checkups?","Don't worry, Mr. Krabs. Yes, you failed every test today, but Squidward and I will whip you into shape, even if it takes the rest of the weekend! Let's kick it up a notch!"
"Mr. Krabs: Whoa—no! Mr. Krabs:  Oh—oh—no—oh, jeez—ohh!","I don't know what we did wrong, Squidward. Mr. Krabs looks worse than before!"
Squidward: I guess that nurse is gonna close the Krusty Krab after all. I wish I could say it's been a pleasure working with you.,"Oh, Squidward, I'll miss you too!"
"Mr. Krabs: Quit yer blubberin', boy. Me body may be mush, but me mind's sharp as a tack! And I...have a plan. Nurse: Good morning! I assume your boss passed his physical? Squidward: Oh, um...yes. Of course he did. Um, unfortunately, our results were—","Uh, eaten!"
"Squidward:  Yeah, yeah. Um, anyway, we thought you could give old Mr. K another exam yourself. He's in his office. Nurse: Hmm...Very well. Nurse: Mr. Krabs...not only did you pass your exam, you might be the most astonishingly excellent physical specimen I've ever seen! SpongeBob and Squidward: Whew! Larry:  My name is Mr. Krabs, and I love money! Nurse: Yes. You said so several times during the examination. Nurse: I suppose I won't need to close your restaurant today. See you next year. Mr. Krabs:  Whoo-hoo! We did it, boys! The Krusty Krab lives to see another day! Three cheers for a successful ruse!",Let's just make it one.
"SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs: Hip, hip, hooray! Larry:  So, you said there would be some money in this for me? Mr. Krabs: You'll never get me money! Patrick: I don't get it! What's an audit?",I don't know. Let me check the rules.  Playing Certified Public Accountant isn't as much fun as I thought.  Maybe it'll be funner if we play louder!
Patrick:   I am rolling the dice!   now I am moving!  Run... spreadsheets?,What does that even mean?!
"Patrick:  Well, maybe I’m supposed to run around with this sheet we spread on the ground!","Yeah, that sounds right to me! Hey, Squidward. Wanna play Certified Public Accountant with us?"
"Squidward: Oh, let me think. That sounds so,  no! Patrick: I don't think this game is ripe.","Yeah, maybe it got picked too soon."
"Squidward:  What? Do you think that games grow on trees? Patrick: Doesn't everything grow on trees? Squidward: No, you ninny! Somebody makes them. Patrick: Makes them? Squidward: Yeah. Somebody thinks up the game, then they make the game. Patrick: Then I could make a game? Squidward: No, you couldn't. You would be incapable.","Well, I think Patrick could make up a game."
"Squidward: Your operative word there is “think.” Patrick: Yeah! The opernive... word is think!  Thanks, Squidward! I'll do it!","Go get'em, Patrick!"
"Squidward:  Double morons. Patrick: I invented a game! I invented a game! Squidward: Whoopee. Do tell. Patrick: Well, you know how hard Tic-Tac-Toe is and how it always takes so long to play? Squidward: Uh-huh. Patrick: Yeah! Well, I made it easier and faster! Squidward:  I know I'm gonna hate myself for saying this, but what have you got? Patrick: It's called...  Tic-Tac! You start with two lines that are crossed. And then the first person puts an X. And then the next person puts an, uh... Squidward: O? Patrick: Oh, yeah! An O! And the first person to get two in a row draws a line through them and says, Tic-Tac!.  You start! Squidward: Tic-Tac. Patrick: Uh...  Best two out of four? French Narrator: Many Tic-Tacs later... Squidward: Tic and Tac. Patrick: I should've gone with my first idea: Tic. Patrick: Squidward, I got a new game! It's called Rock, Paper, Butter! Squidward: Butter invent a different game! Patrick: Squidward, I got it!  Whose rope is longer? You...  Aww! You played this before! Patrick: Sandy, I've been trying to invent a game, but every game I invent is a failure. Sandy:  If you want to invent a game, you should study all the games you like and figure out what it is you liked best about them.  Then you can use those elements in the game you invent. Patrick:  I know what to do! Patrick: And so it begins. Patrick:  It's a game! It's a game! Now I know what it's like to be a game maker! Squidward: I don't see the point of this game night. Every game that Patrick has invented is more pointless and boring than the last. Sandy: This time, he did research. Squidward: Well, if it's started, then I'm already bored. Sandy: Well, I'm excited! We're gonna be the first people to test out Patrick's game!",This is gonna be written about in the history book someday.
"Squidward: Yeah. In crayon. Patrick: Good evening. Please step into my gamatourium. Squidward: More like a lamatourium. Ha. Patrick: Welcome, gamers! And behold!  My game!",It's beautiful!
"Squidward:  Are we finished? Who won? Patrick:  No, my friend. We have only just begun. Sandy: What's it called, Patrick? Squidward: Might I suggest garbage?  What?","Yeah, Patrick. What's it called?"
Patrick: It's called... Patrick! The Game!,Wow!
"Squidward: Could we just get started already? I'm late for my coma. Patrick: Alright!  I'll explain the rules. Each player picks a piece to move around the board. The way you decide which player gets to pick the piece by rolling the dice.  To decide who gets to roll the dice first to see who gets the first choice of players, you have to be... Squidward: Look, Patrick! You go, then Sandy, then SpongeBob, then me! Okay? Patrick: You mean for picking our player or for starting the game? Squidward:  Both! Patrick: Ok! Now, onto rules of how to play the game. Squidward: I've got a great idea. Why don't we just start rolling and you can explain the game as we play. Patrick: Hmm...  Okay!  Oh, money! Sandy: Yee-haw! Beachfront property!",Driver's license! Driver's license! But what does that mean?
"Patrick: Oh, on your next turn, you roll then you can move down the board or you can go round the race track as many times as you rolled.","Oh, what should I do? What should I do? What should I do?"
"Squidward: Could you give me the dice? Give me the dice? Because it's my turn! Squidward: Uh-huh. Patrick: You go to jail. Blue Cellmate: What are you in for, pal? Patrick: My turn!  One... two... Squidward: Oh, good thing you've landed on snacks. You must be famished. Sandy: Hmm... Coral Avenue. I'll buy it!",Twelve. I'll... drive the car!
"Patrick: Oh, you don't get to roll when you're in jail. Squidward: Well, what do I do to get out of jail? Patrick: You have to roll a six. Patrick:  Hey! you can't roll the dice when you're in jail!","Yeah, play by the rules."
"Squidward: Well, if the only way to get out of jail is to roll a six, and I can't roll if I'm in jail, just how am I supposed to get out of jail?! Grrr! Patrick:  Ah, here it is!  The guy that is in jail has to stay there unless he rolls a six or someone says his name. Squidward:  Fine. Someone say my name. Patrick: Oh boy! You landed on Do a Surgery!  Now, pick a surgery card. Sandy:  Hmm... Remove finbone from player to your left. Squidward: What? Wait! No! But I don't have a finbone! I'm an octopus! Sandy: Hush, now! This won't hurt a bit. Sandy: Got it. Patrick: Now, sit back down, you criminal! Squidward: Oh, this game doesn't make any sense!",Sounds like someone's mad because he hasn't moved.
"Squidward: Well, neither have you. Squidward:  That's it! I've had enough!","Come on, Squidward! Wait!"
"Sandy: Don't go, Squidward! Patrick: No wait, Squidward!",Squidward!
"Patrick: Wait, how'd he get out of jail?",Squidward made us say his name.
"Sandy: That was a smart move, Squidward! Squidward: Huh? Oh. Hmm...","Now you roll after me. Five. One, two, three, four, five. Um, I think I'll..."
Squidward: Race the car.,I'll...
Squidward: Race the car!,I'll... race the car!
"Squidward: Oh boy! Snacks! Patrick: Jail for Squidward! Squidward: But I was on snacks! Patrick: Tell it to the judge! Squidward: Could someone please tell me what we are supposed to be doing? What's the point? This entire game is completely random! It jumps from one thing to another! I don't know how you are supposed to win! And Patrick seems to be making up the rules as he goes along! Patrick: Starving! Starving sea star time! Squidward:  Okay, I'm going outside. Patrick:  If a person declares outsidies, then everyone must go outside. Squidward: But I didn't say outsidies I said... Patrick: Four. We are in a giggle zone! Everyone laugh! Squidward: Ha.",Two.  Silly face! Silly face!
"Sandy: Now, that's a silly face!","Hey, Squidward, you finally understand the rules!"
"Squidward: Oh, I get the rules alright! The rules are that it doesn't matter what anybody rolls! You can just make up whatever it means!  So, I could just roll the dice and say, Automatic Winner!","Good job, Squidward! You've won!"
"Sandy: Nice play, Squidward! Squidward: Huh? Oh, you know what, you're right. That was a good play. Patrick: Not so fast!  No player may declare himself Automatic Winner. Squidward: You did it again. You made up another rule! This game is the worst! Stupid game! Highway Speed Patrol: Destruction to private property. Highway Speed Patrol: Oh, and I see here you are a repeat offender. You're going to real jail. Squidward: Anything to get out of this game! Thanks, Officers! Blue Cellmate: Welcome back! Squidward: Somebody say my name! Patrick: Game over! Pearl: Oh, thanks for the ride, Dylan. Dylan: No problem, Pearl. You still going for that party tonight? Pearl:  Oh-ho! You bet! Dylan: Nautical.  I'll pick ya up at eight. Mr. Krabs: Again? Come on, Pearly-girl, we're running low on doors here! Pearl: Oh, I'm sorry, Daddy. I'm just so excited about going to the big party tonight!  I—I—I just had to... Mr. Krabs:  Oh, no! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! Sorry, sweetie.  Daddy's going out to play cards with the boys tonight. Pearl: But, but Daddy! Mr. Krabs: No buts! I can't be worrying about you all night, honey. Pearl:  But, Daddy, I just want to go to the party! Mr. Krabs: Oh, shrimp. Mr. Krabs: Whoa! Mr. Krabs: Whew.  Hmm?  Ahh!  There, there, me little beluga. It'll be okay. I hired Mr. Squidward to babysit just like when you were little. Pearl: Ew, Dad! Squidward is so lame. Mr. Krabs: Lame, schmame. You and Squidward will have so much fun, you won't want to go anywhere. But just in case.  You won't be able to go anywhere!  Oh, just in time. Mr. Krabs: Squidward! Thanks for keeping an eye on me little Pearl tonight. Squidward: No problem. Mr. Krabs: Remember our deal, Squidward. Keep Pearl out of trouble and I'll give you one shift a week without SpongeBob. But if anything happens to my little angel, I won’t give any shifts without SpongeBob... Squidward: No! Please! Anything but that! Don't worry, Mr. Krabs.  You can count on me. Mr. Krabs: I knew I could. Squidward: Whew! Pearl: Oh, thanks for watching the house tonight, Squidward. I'll be back late. So, you know, don't wait up for  me! Squidward:  Your dad said we have to stay in tonight!  But that doesn't mean we can't have  fun! Squidward:  Look.  We can play with this setaceous Sally doll.  Or we could color this princess coloring book.  Or we could sing along with—Ahh! Squidward: Uh, Sally! Squidward:  Outside the lines! Squidward:  Pearl?  Hello?  Hmm, hey, uh, Pearl. Um, whatcha' up to? Pearl: Arts and crafts! Squidward: Hey, I dabble in the arts myself. Maybe I can help. Squidward:  Uh, never mind. Uh, you seem to have that under control. I'll just, um, be out here if you need me. Or not. Definitely not.  That is one morbid teen. Pearl: That outta keep him out of my hair. Pearl: It's go-time! Squidward:  Oh.  What's happening?  Pearl? Oh. You asleep? Aw, she must've tuckered herself out. Squidward:  Oh, no! Maybe if we get it on ice, then can reattach it— Ahh! Squidward: Huh? Pearl: Oh, thanks for the ride, Dylan. Dylan: No prob. Squidward: She's gone! Krabs is gonna kill me! Pearl: Um, that sign said surface. Are you sure this is the way? Dylan: For sure, babe. We're going to a breach party. Pearl: Oh, I've never been to one of those before. Sounds exciting. Dylan: Whoo! Squidward: Hmm. Mm-hmm.  Hmm. Still warm.  The surface, eh? That SpongeBob-free shift will be mine!  SpongeBob-shift— mine! Pearl: Mmm! Oh-ho, Dylan. Teens:  Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Teens:  Breach! Breach! Breach! Breach! Breach! Breach! Teens: Whoo-hoo! Squidward: Pearl! Teens:  Huh? What? Squidward: You have to come home right away! We can do whatever you want if we go back now! I'll even play us some jazz!  Kids love jazz! Squidward: ♪Come on, Pearl. Let's go home. I can't be here all alone.  Let's get back, before we're dead.  Skiddle-bobba-doo-diddle-bop-bop, yeah!♪ Teen #1: No! Jazz making me nerdier! Pearl: Oh, this is so embarrassing! Dylan: Forget him, Pearl. Let's breach. Teens: Yeah!  Yeah! Yes! Yeah! Pearl: Uh, I don't know. Is it dangerous? Dylan: Uh-uh, babe. It's nautical. Squidward: Pearl! What about yo-yos? Kids love yo-yos! Pearl: Okay, let's do it! One, two, three,  yahoo! This is so coral!  Dylan, help! This isn't nautical! Teen #2: Oh, man! She's beached! Dylan: We're gonna be in so much trouble! Teen #3: Leave her! Let's cheese it! Teen #4: Let's get out of here! Pearl:  Oh, no! Squidward: Pearl, are you alright? Pearl: Oh, Squidward, I'm so sorry I didn't listen to you. Squidward: It's okay! Let's just get you outta' here. Squidward: Okay, okay, just hold on a second! Pearl: Hold on? What are you—Ahh! Pearl: Huh? Pearl:  I can't believe Dylan ditched me! My life is over! Squidward: Oh, I don't think it's that bad. Squidward: I'll, um, just get you home. French Narrator: Many, many minutes later... Pearl:  Guess I'll just wait for my dad to get home. Squidward: You know, there is a way we can still have a little fun tonight. Pearl: Really? Dylan:  Like, hello? Trick-Or-Treater 1: I wanted to be Mermaid Man this year. Trick-Or-Treater 2: Trick or treat. Citizen: I love Halloween.  Whoa!","Ah!  Hm... Mm-hm. It's scary, but...  Oh. Hello.  Hm..."
Patrick: Hello!,"Hello, Sir Patrick. How do you like my decorations?"
"Patrick: Those are too cute for Halloween, SpongeBob.","Oh, Patrick, Halloween is cute. Sharing candy, holding hands, singing songs. It's a bright and cheery time of year."
"Patrick: I thought it was about getting your pants scared off. Hey, where's your costume?",Close your eyes.  Okay. Open 'em.  ♪I'm a lovely flower♪ Ooh...
"Patrick: Oh, that's not scary either, SpongeBob. Wait, I'll show you what scary is. Trick-Or-Treaters: Let's go to this house. Squidward:  Oh... There is no candy here... Trick-Or-Treater 3: What? Squidward: Only onions!  Now move along. Ooh... Patrick: No candy. That is so scary. Right, SpongeBob? SpongeBob?  SpongeBob, why are you hiding in there? You'll miss all the scary stuff.","I don't want to see the scary stuff, Patrick. Okay? I admit it. I love trick-or-treating, but I am too afraid to go out on Halloween!"
"Patrick: SpongeBob, don't you know the old saying? The only thing you have to fear is...  Yourself!  Aah! Stop staring at me like that! No!  See? It's all in your head, SpongeBob. You just have to remember one simple trick, and that is: scary equals funny.",Scary equals funny. Hm. Never looked at it that way before.  Doink. All right. I'll go out.
Patrick: SpongeBob?,"Here I am.  Just looking for cavities. Nope. None here. Oh, let's go out and get scared."
"Both: Whoo! Patrick: Sure you can handle this, SpongeBob?","Oh, I'll be fine, Patrick. Really. But can we hold hands, just in case you get scared?"
"Patrick: Deal. Both: Whoa... Sandy: Welcome to my lab, SpongeBob and Patrick. I am the evil Dr. Franken-Cheeks.","Oh, hi, Sandy. I didn't recognize you."
"Patrick: Uh, yeah, great costume. Sandy: Oh, thanks, guys. Now, feast your fingers on my jars of horror! SpongeBob and Patrick: Whoa... Sandy: Stick your hand in the jar and guess what's inside...If you dare!","Oy.  Ew. Oh. Ew, it feels like worm guts."
Sandy: Wrong!  It's just noodles.,"Oh, I'm savvy to this game, Sandy.  So these brains are probably a slimy head of lettuce, or maybe some boiled broccoli."
"Sandy: Wrong! It's—  Patrick? Get out of there. Patrick: Don't stop, SpongeBob. That's the spot. Ah...","Patrick, you really got me."
Sandy: Ew!  How impolite of me! I forgot to introduce you to my little friend. SpongeBob and Patrick:  Oh...,That's the most realistic fake monster I ever saw.
"Sandy:  Who are you calling fake?!  Fee, fi, fo, fum, I smell the fear of a scared SpongeBob! SpongeBob and Patrick: Whoa!","I love it! Oh, thank you, Sandy. That was so much fun. Patrick, you were right. Scary equals funny."
"SpongeBob, Patrick, and Sandy: Hooray! Mr. Krabs: Come in and see the horrors of the Chum Bucket. Mr. Krabs:  Ha, ha, ha, ha! I'm Plankton! Ha, ha, ha, I'm evil! Mr. Krabs: Huh?",Scary.
Mr. Krabs: What are you two laughing about? There's nothing funny about the food abuse that goes on at the Chum Bucket! You should be terrified!,"Oh, sorry, Mr. Krabs, but our new philosophy is scary equals funny."
"Squidward: Yeah, and funny divided by two idiots equals stupid. Mr. Krabs: I don't get it. When I was a kid, Halloween meant 24 continuous hours of screaming your head off! These kids today... Plankton:  Come to the Chum Bucket, and witness the horrors of the Krusty Krab! You may never eat a Krabby Patty again!","Ready for more funny, Sir Clanks-a-lot?"
Patrick: I'm driving!  Charge! Trick-Or-Treaters: Whoa! Karen: Welcome to the Chum Bucket. I'm Karen the cat. Plankton: Do the scary part.,"Ooh, scary!"
Plankton: Scary? That's nothing.  Behold!  The horrors of the Krusty Krab.  Look down. SpongeBob and Patrick: Hm?,Oh.
"Patrick: Ooh. Plankton:  No dawdling! Step right up!  The evil Mr. Krabs and his band of jolly, mindless fools stalk Bikini Bottom by night for delicious victims then drag their lifeless bodies back to the kitchen, and grind them into grinders!","Oh, Plankton, you are a panic."
"Plankton: And guess what? You're eating it! Krabby Patties are people! They're people patties! You're eating people patties! Trick-Or-Treater 4: Yeah!  Come on! Trick-Or-Treater 5:  Boo! Trick-Or-Treaters: Flying Dutchman: Ah! Music to me ears. Halloween night, and everyone is getting their bloomers scared off! This holiday is the worst!  Wait a millennium.  That kid isn't screaming with fear. Trick-Or-Treater 6: Huh. What do you want? Flying Dutchman: Scare and release!  I love this job. Flying Dutchman: Ugh.  Who dares to laugh at All Hallows' Eve?!  I'm going to find out.","Gee, who would've thought I'd be laughing myself silly tonight?"
Flying Dutchman: You!  You dare to laugh on Halloween?!,Um...I guess so?
Flying Dutchman: What's the matter with you? Aren't you afraid of scary things?,"Well, I was, until I found out that scary equals funny."
Flying Dutchman: Scary equals funny?,I love this guy!
"Flying Dutchman: I don't get it. How could anyone confuse scary with funny?  Hm. No wonder you're not scared. These decorations are laughable!  I'm sorry, kid. I had no idea how fright-deprived you were. Not to worry. You're in bad hands!  I'll show you something to scream about aboard me ship!  You interested?",Sure. Can I bring a guest?
"Flying Dutchman: Does a bear fish sleep in the kelp forest? Patrick: Where are we going, SpongeBob?","We are going to comedy heaven, Patrick. This is going to be so funny!"
"Patrick: This music doesn't sound funny, SpongeBob. Flying Dutchman: Stop that clanking! Patrick: Sorry.",Oh! Hey!
"Flying Dutchman: All bilge rats on deck! We have company, and we want to show them a good time!",That tickled!
"Flying Dutchman's Ghost Pirate: Hang on to your bloomers, SpongeBob! It's going to be a bumpy fright! Flying Dutchman's Ghost Pirates: ♪When you hear the lonesome ring of chimes that bring the spirits singing, soon your spine is tingling and there's just one thing to say, ahh!  Eyeballs in the dark dilating, now your heart is palpitating, and there's only just one thought that you can convey.  Terror all around you! You can't get away! We take pride in making sure you have a frightful stay.  Join the wretched chorus in the nightmare play, and remember it's all you can scream at the ghost café.♪",Oh...
"Flying Dutchman's Ghost Pirates: ♪Terror all around you and we've just begun.  You'll be trembling helpless lump of fear when we are done. Grim unearthly creatures flaunting nauseating features make for ghastly midnight screechers, you'll be speechless but for Ahh!  Surrender to the horrifying phantom freaks who death-defying stunts of fearful madness startle with a shocking interjection from which there is no protection!  Boo!♪ Flying Dutchman: Grr...How can he still be laughing? I've never been so humiliated. I got to do something here.","Boy, Patrick, I wish all our friends could be here. They'd love this place!"
Flying Dutchman: Friends! He's got friends. That's it! I know how to scare this guy. Sandy:  Happy Halloween!  W—what? Where? Trick-Or-Treaters: Trick or treat! Squidward: Huh? Oh! Mr. Krabs: Hey! Sandy: SpongeBob! Patrick! Help me!,That almost looks like Sandy.
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob! Plankton: Patrick! Squidward: Help us! Gary:,"That almost looked like Mr. Krabs and Squidward and Gary and Plankton.  Funny. Oh, Patrick, this is hysterical.  Why aren't you laughing?  Patrick? What's wrong with you?"
"Patrick:  Help me, SpongeBob! My body's butt itches!","Patrick? Is this really happening? Hey, this isn't funny."
"Patrick: I was wrong, SpongeBob. Sometimes, scary equals scary!",Hm?  Yup. I got the same answer. Scary equals Ahh!
Flying Dutchman: Success! I knew that would get him!,Ahh!
"SpongeBob's Skeleton: That's the scariest thing I ever saw in my life! SpongeBob's Skin: Me too. But we gotta go back. SpongeBob's Skeleton: Go back? Are you nuts? SpongeBob's Skin: Show a little backbone! We gotta save our friends! SpongeBob's Skeleton: Oh, you're right. But I'm still scared. Will you hold my hand? SpongeBob's Skin: Deal. Flying Dutchman: Ooh. Plankton: You know, I gotta say, pretty impressed with your whole evil presentation here. Nice work. I could use a guy like you to walk through walls. I take over the world, and we split it, 70-30. How's that grabbin' you?  Yes, master... Flying Dutchman: I guess with friends like SpongeBob, you don't need anemones, huh, gang? Patrick: You can't talk about SpongeBob like that! Squidward: Oh, yeah? If SpongeBob's so great, where is he? Huh? Flying Dutchman: And, now, I'm going to roast your souls over a devil pit!  Just like Grandma used to! Patrick: The blue fire is so hot! Sandy: My puppet?","You let my friends go, buddy boy!"
"Flying Dutchman: You were trying to scare me? Now that is funny.  You couldn't frighten me in a million eternities, kid. Plankton: I think he could, master. You've never seen what's inside his brain! Flying Dutchman: His brain? Ha! What's scary about that? Plankton: I was in there once. It's too terrifying, even for ghosts! Flying Dutchman: I'll decide if it's scary or not! Flying Dutchman: Wa...Whoa! Flying Dutchman: Ah! Ah! Ah! Don't—don't! Flying Dutchman:  That didn't scare me one bit.  I—I bet you don't have a scary thought in your entire brain!","Oh, scary...Hm...You know, what always scares me out of the room is when my mom takes out naked baby pictures."
"Baby SpongeBob:  I wuv you this much! Flying Dutchman:  I'm actually scared!  So much horror! Everyone: Ahh! Sandy:  Ooh. Mr. Krabs and Squidward:  Oh. Patrick:  Oh! I got my butt back! Sandy: I don't know what's inside that brain of yours, but I sure hope I never see it. Thanks, SpongeBob. Patrick:  But did we learn anything?",Sure. We learned not to be afraid to never be scared of being afraid again.
"Mr. Krabs: My employee saved us! Party at the Krusty Krab! For a reasonable fee. Plankton: Ugh. What happened? Whew. Must have been a nightmare. Trick-Or-Treater 1:  Hey, guys! Free candy! Squidward:  Ahh, finally, the weekend is here. And this isn't just any old weekend.  This is the weekend that SpongeBob and Patrick go camping. Wouldn't it be great if they got lost in the woods and never came back?","Patrick, I'm scared!"
"Squidward: Ho-ho, that would be great!  You've waited a long time for this. A soft bed, warm tea, a good book, and two whole days with no...   What the--?!  SpongeBob, aren't you two supposed to be camping?",We are camping.
"Squidward: SpongeBob, it's not camping if you're ten feet from your house.","Aww, it doesn't matter where you are as long as you're outdoors. While all those soft city folk are safe in their beds reading books, we're out here, pitting ourselves against the formidable forces of nature. You wanna join us?"
Squidward: No.,Okay. Have fun inside.
"Squidward:  What do you mean, have fun inside?",Just... have fun inside. See you tomorrow.
Squidward: Oh. Bye.  You little sneak! I see what you're doing!,What?
Squidward: Don't think I can't see what you're doing!,What?
Squidward: You're saying I can't take it!,But all I...
"Squidward:  AAH! You're saying I'm soft! You think your little have fun inside challenge is gonna make me come camping with you, but that is NEVER GONNA HAPPEN! There's no way I'm gonna sit out here all night with you two losers! So, get used to it!",Okay. Have fun inside.
Squidward:  That's it! I'm in! I'll show you camping!,Squidward's gonna come camping with us!
"Squidward:  Now you'll see how a real... ugh!  ...outdoorsman does it!  Here we are, my remote-controlled, self-assembling tent. Watch and learn.","That was great, Squidward, but how do you get inside?"
"Patrick: Yeah, it's all crushy-looking. Squidward: It isn't put up yet, you idiots.  Huh?",Customization!
Patrick: GENIUS!,He's tenderizing the ground!
Patrick: Of course!,WRITE THAT DOWN!! WRITE THAT DOWN!
"Squidward:  Huh? Voila!  But what could compare to just lying out under the stars?  Well, I've worked up an appetite as big as all outdoors. Time for a little grub. I suppose you two are gonna stew up some twigs and rocks, right?","Nope, we've got something even better! Marshmallows.  Mmm... just like the astronauts eat."
Patrick:  Patrick to SpongeBob. Patrick to SpongeBob. Do you read me? Over.,SpongeBob to Patrick. I read you. Over.
Patrick:  Patrick to SpongeBob. I like going . Over.,SpongeBob to Patrick.  Me too.  SpongeBob to Patrick. Help yourself. Over.
"Patrick: Yummy!  Patrick to SpongeBob! The deliciousness has landed! Squidward: Well, you two astronauts can eat marshmallows, but I'm gonna have a can of Swedish Barnacle Balls,  just as soon as I can get my can opener.","But Squidward, didn't you take a can opener when you hiked out here?"
Squidward: Why would I bother? We're ten feet from my house.,But this is the wilderness! It just doesn't seem to fit the camping spirit.
"Patrick: Pretty weenie! Squidward: All right, all right, gimme a marshmallow. Squidward: Okay. Besides spitting molten food stuffs at me, what else do you do for fun?","Well, after a long day of camping, it's nice to unwind with a nice, relaxing campfire song. I call this one The Campfire Song Song. ♪Let's gather 'round the campfire, and sing our campfire song. Our C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G song. And if you don't think that we can sing it faster, then you're wrong. But it'll help if you just sing along...♪"
Patrick: ♪Bum! Bum! Bum!♪ Both:  ♪C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G song! C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G song!♪,"♪And if you don't think that we can sing it faster, then you're wrong! But it'll help if you just sing along...♪"
Patrick: ♪Sing another song...♪,♪C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G song!♪ Patrick!
Patrick: ♪SONG! C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E...♪,"Squidward!  Good! ♪It'll help... it'll help... if you just sing along!♪  ♪OH, YEAH!!!♪ Ahh, now, wasn't that relaxing?"
Squidward: No. This is relaxing!,"OH NO! I'll save you, Squidward!!!  Squidward, are you all right? That's it, chew, chew, and swallow. There, better?"
Squidward: Better?! I was just fine until you lodged that ballistic junk food into my windpipe!,But I had to! It's too dangerous to play the clarinet badly out here in the wilderness! It might attract... a sea bear.
Squidward:  A sea bear? You mean like the ones that...  DON'T EXIST?!,What are you saying?
Squidward: There's no such thing! They're just a myth!,"Oh no, Squidward, sea bears are all too real! It says so in the Bikini Bottom Inquirer!"
"Squidward:  I Married a Sea Bear? Patrick: Yeah, and Fake Science Monthly! Squidward:  Sea Bears and Fairy Tales Are Real? That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard! Patrick: Well, maybe it is stupid, but it's also dumb!","Patrick's right, Squidward. Sea bears are no laughing matter. Why, once I met this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy's cousin..."
"Squidward: You're right! I should be more careful. In fact, why don't you tell me all of the things I shouldn't do if I want to keep the sea bears away?","Okay, that's easy. First off, don't play the clarinet."
Squidward: Okay. Then what?,Never wave your flashlight back and forth really fast.
Patrick: Flashlights are their natural prey. Squidward: You're kidding.,Don't stomp around. They take that as a challenge.
Patrick: Yeah. Squidward:   Go on.,Don't ever eat cheese.
Squidward: Sliced or cubed?,Cubed. Sliced is fine.
"Squidward: Yeah, yeah, and?",Never wear a sombrero...
Patrick: ...in a goofy fashion!,Or clown shoes.
Patrick: Or a hoop skirt.,And never...
Patrick: Ever...,Ever...
Patrick: Duh! Both: SCREECH LIKE A CHIMPANZEE!!! Squidward: Wow! That's amazing how many things can set a sea bear off! Both:  They're horrible! Squidward: And... and suddenly I have the sense we're all in danger! Both: Why? Squidward: I don't know...  Just a feeling!!,No.
Squidward: Yes.,No!
"Squidward: U! UHUHU! Both: SQUIDWARD, PLEASE DON'T!!! Squidward: Uh! Uh! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Ah! Ah! Ah! Patrick: SpongeBob, what are we gonna do? A sea bear's sure to come and eat us!","Don't worry, Patrick. I'll draw us an anti-sea-bear circle in the dirt."
"Patrick: Good thinking!  All the experts say it's the only defense against a sea bear attack. Squidward:  You guys are so gullible. See? I did everything that attracts a sea bear, and nothing happened. If sea bears really exist, why didn't one show up?",Maybe it's because you're not wearing your sombrero in a goofy fashion.
"Squidward: Oh, pfft. Sorry, how silly of me! You mean like this?","No. Like that. Squidward, are you okay?"
Squidward:  No.,Quick! Jump inside our anti-sea-bear circle before he comes back.
Patrick: Yeah. Sea bears often attack more than once. Squidward: Are you crazy? A dirt circle won't stop that monster. I'm running for my life! Both: No!,Don't run! Sea bears hate that!
"Squidward: Thanks for the tip. I guess I'll just limp home, then. Both: NOOOOOOO!!!",They hate limping more than running!
"Squidward: Well, I guess I'll just have...",I should have warned you about crawling.
Squidward: What'd I do that time?!,I don't know! I guess he just doesn't like you.
Patrick: Pretend to be somebody else!!!,"Here, draw a circle."
Squidward: Okay.,That was an oval. It has to be a circle!
"Squidward:  Move over!  Hey, it worked! You guys saved my life!","Yeah, I'm glad it was just a sea bear. This circle would never hold back a sea rhinoceros."
Squidward: What attracts them? Patrick: The sound of a sea bear attack.,"Heh. Good thing we're all wearing our anti-sea-rhinoceros undergarments, heh heh. Right, Squidward?"
"Squidward:  Uh-huh. Pearl: Unacceptable! Mr. Krabs: Pearl! Pearl: My friends will be here in 20 minutes for my slumber party, and you're laying around in your tighty-no-longer-whities. Mr. Krabs: A man works hard all week to keep his pants off all weekend. Pearl: If you trusted me, you would leave for the night. Mr. Krabs:  You make Corn Crunch come out me nose! Pearl: Dad! Mr. Krabs: Look, I'll stay upstairs in me room and not interrupt. Pearl: You promise? Mr. Krabs: I promise. Pearl: Good night, daddy. Mr. Krabs: Good night, sweetie. Pearl: Dad! Mr. Krabs: Oh, hi, pumpkin. I was just setting out refreshments for you and your friends. Pearl: Crackers and tap water? You are the cheapest crab alive! Mr. Krabs: Now don't say that. Here, would your friends like some pizza? Pearl: Well, yeah. Yeah, we would. Mr. Krabs: Okay, you can have your allowance early. Pearl: Ketchup?! Mr. Krabs: See, you put it on the crackers,  and a mamma mia, you got-a one-a spicy pizza pie-a. Mr. Krabs: Okay, okay, I'm going. Pearl: Oh! They're here!  Hi!  Dad? Mr. Krabs: Just putting up the house rules. Pearl: No dancing, no loud music after 7:30, no touching the root beer cellar?! Mr. Krabs: And the most important one in all, no boys allowed!  Isn't it glorious?  Sweetie, you accidentally locked the door! Pearl: You’re not coming back in this house until after my slumber party is over! Mr. Krabs:  This is mutiny! Pearl: What are you gonna do about it? Take away my allowance?  Here you go! Mr. Krabs: Open this door or I'll...",You wanna stay here? At my house? With me?
"Mr. Krabs: Whaddya say, boy?",Yee-hee! Slumber party!
Mr. Krabs: Maybe I should just sleep under the highway.,"We can stay up really, really late! And tell ghost stories! And trade socks!"
Mr. Krabs: Is that what girls do at slumber parties?,No. They invite boys over and destroy the house!
Mr. Krabs: They what?!,You know how girls are.
"Mr. Krabs: Uh, SpongeBob, do you know anything about girls?",Do I know any... no. But Gary does.
Gary: Meow. TV Announcer: We now return to tonight’s scary movie: Slumber Party Zombie Attack! Girl Fish: Pillow fight!  That tickles! Missed me! Mr. Krabs:  Look what they’re doing to that man’s house!,"Mr. Krabs, it’s only a mov-"
"Mr. Krabs: Quiet, boy! Girl Fish: Boys are here! Boy Fish #1: Hi, girls. I brought my destructive friends. Boy Fish #2: Nice to  meet you! Boy Fish #1: Ha! Destroying other people's possessions is fun! Mr. Krabs:  Turn it off! Turn it off, I can’t take it!",I don't think this is the scary part yet.
Mr. Krabs: I… said… turn it off!,"Gosh, Mr. Krabs. I never knew you were scared of zombies."
"Mr. Krabs: Not zombies, you barnacle brain!  Teenagers.",Zombie teenagers?
"Mr. Krabs: No! Pearl and her no-good friends! They're probably destroying me house right now! Like this!  Oops! I don't care! It’s not mine!  Oh, look! One of the home owner's most prized possessions!  La-di-da!",Mr. Krabs...
"Mr. Krabs:  Ooh, this'll be fun to destroy!  Whee!  Now do you get it, boy?","Oh, I do, Mr. Krabs. It must be horrible to invite people into your home and have them treat your property with so little respect!"
Mr. Krabs: That's what teenagers do! Do you want this to happen to my house?,"Gosh, no, Mr. Krabs."
Mr. Krabs: Then get into Pearl's party and find out what they’re doing!,"Leave it to me, Mr. K. I've got the perfect disguise."
"Pearl: Hello? Girly: Hi, I'm here for the slumber party. Pearl: Do I know you? Girly: My name is... um... Girly TeenGirl! Pearl:  Uh-huh. Girly: Um, I just moved here from... um... Farawayville. Pearl: I know it's you, SpongeBob SquarePants! Girly: I don't know what you're talking about! Pearl: You were sent to spy on me by my dad! Get him, girls! Girly: Girly:  I am so moving back to Farawayville! Mr. Krabs: Who the heck is that?","I don't know, but she is ug-ly! Now to put on that disguise I told you about.  Ta-daaaah! Huh? Huh? Huh?"
"Mr. Krabs: You are one of a kind, boy.",Pizza delivery.
Pearl: We didn’t order any pizza!,Y-You didn't?
"Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, tell 'em it's from me!",Your dad sent it. It's already paid for.
"Pearl:  I’d sooner believe space aliens sent me a free pizza before I'd believe my dad would! Now, who are you?",Um.. uh...  Hey!
Pearl: SpongeBob?!,"They're on to us, Mr. Krabs! Drive!"
"Mr. Krabs: Right, boy!","I wanted to come with you, Mr. Krabs."
"Pearl: Oh, big surprise. Dad was too cheap to buy real pizza! Mr. Krabs: What's taking SpongeBob so long? I'm getting tired of looking through his stuff. Mr. Krabs:  Hello?  Pizza!","I'm sorry, Mr. Krabs. I failed you."
"Mr. Krabs: I know, son.","Oh, Mr. Krabs, that’s my eye!"
"Mr. Krabs: And it's ice cold, too. You should have been back here in 30 minutes or less! Pearl: Who is it?",Piano repair man!
Pearl: Okay! We'll be right out!,"Mr. Krabs, it's working!"
Pearl: Have it back by tomorrow. Okay?,"Maybe we should leave them alone, Mr. Krabs. They seem pretty trustworthy."
"Mr. Krabs: You get into that party, or you're fired!","Yes, Mr. Krabs."
Pearl: Whoever could it be this time?,"It's me, SpongeBob SquarePants. Can we talk, Pearl? Whale to sponge?"
"Pearl:  Hold the boiling oil!  What do you want, SpongeBob?","Oh, please let me stay at your party! Oh, please, oh, please, oh, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please!"
Pearl: No!,Give me one good reason why I can't stay!
Pearl: I can give you a hundred million billion reasons!,"Yeesh, I only asked for one."
Pearl: Reason number one: you're just like my dad!,Really?!
"Pearl: A no-good, dried-up, old fuddy-duddy!","So if I prove I'm fun, can I stay?"
"Pearl: Sure, SpongeBob. If you can prove you're the most fun person on the planet in the next ten seconds, you could stay.",I only need eight! Whoo! Party!  Crank it up!
Pearl: Five seconds.,These old newspapers are confetti in fun hands! Whoo!
"Girl 1: I’m allergic to newsprint!  Oh, ow! Pearl: Two seconds!  Okay, okay, I got to admit. That was kinda fun. Girl 2: I think he's hurt. Pearl: He's not hurt.  See? Girl 2: Maybe he's a zombie! Girl 1: If he comes back as a zombie and eats my brain, I'm totally not going to be your friend anymore!","Ooh, Mr. Krabs' root beer cellar. Fun!"
"TV Announcer: We now return to Slumber Party Zombie Attack! Girl on TV:  A zombie! Pearl: This movie isn’t all that scary! Girl 1: Yeah, that zombie looks totally fake!",Party!
Girls:  Zombie!,Fun!
Girl 3: Girl 4: Zombie juice! Girl 5:  Run! Pearl:,Who wants to dance?
Girl 6: No! I already have a zombie boyfriend!,Let's boogie! Whoo!
Mr. Krabs: What in Neptune's toupee is going on here?  Me knick-knacks!  Me root beer!  Me pile of old newspapers!  I was maybe gonna read that someday!  I knew I shouldn't have trusted you! Pearl: Trusted me?! Your employee destroyed this house!  The only boy at the party! Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob?!,"Well, Mr. Krabs, you know how boys are.  Ow!"
"Pearl:  It's your fault my party is ruined, and all my friends have zombie shock syndrome! Girl 6:  I'm too pretty to be a zombie! Pearl: We were fine with a nice simple slumber party. But now, it's gonna cost you! Mr. Krabs: Cost me what?! Pearl:  Money....! Mr. Krabs: NOOO!! Pearl: Everyone having a good time?  Well, you can all thank my dad for making this possible! Thank you, Daddy! Mr. Krabs: You're welcome, sweetie!  Oh, this is so expensive! Boss Hog: You're not allowed any closer, sir.","Mr. Krabs, I think I know what'll cheer you up.  A mug of ice cold root beer!"
"Mr. Krabs: No, SpongeBob, that doesn't cheer me up at all! Narrator: Ah, Sandy Cheeks is going out of town and has asked SpongeBob and Patrick to do a little pet-sitting for her. Patrick: Pet-sitting? Won't that hurt them? Narrator: Perhaps she should have asked someone else.","Gee, Patrick, I didn't know you spoke bird."
"Patrick: No, that's Italian, SpongeBob. Sandy: Okay boys, this here is Birdy's food. Feed him twice a day.",This whole sack?
"Sandy: No, just a cup's worth.  This here's my cricket.  He's saying hello to you. Ain't he cute?","Uh sorry, I don't speak Italian."
Sandy: And this here's Snakey.,What's that lump in its belly?
"Sandy: Well, that's his dinner.  Well, I guess that's it. I gotta go.  See you guys in a couple of days. SpongeBob and Patrick: Bye, Sandy!",Wait! You forgot about this pet!
"Sandy: Oh, that's only Wormy. He don't eat much.","Look at him Patrick, isn't he great? Hey, little fella."
"Patrick: Kitchie-kitchie koo, koo.","Aw look, isn't he just precious? Let's take him out to play.  998, 999, 1,000. Ready or not, here I come!"
"Patrick: You found me. SpongeBob and Patrick: There you are!  He found us! Patrick: Gee, SpongeBob, I don't want today to end ever.","I know, Patrick, days like today only come once, maybe twice in a lifetime. Savor every moment. And it's all thanks to Wormy. I made this for Wormy.  Our new best friend.  Until tomorrow, new best friend. Don't be sad, little buddy. We'll be back first thing in the morning for frolic and fun."
"Patrick: Why must the sun set on this perfect day? Sleep well, Wormy.","Aw, don't be sad, Patrick. It's only until tomorrow. Here I come, Wormy!"
"Patrick: Me, too!  And then we're gonna play tag, and then we're gonna color, and then we're gonna build a house of cards! SpongeBob and Patrick: We're back, Wormy! Wormy, Wormy? Patrick: Wormy? Where's Wormy? What's that thing?",He's gotta be in here.  I think something bad happened to Wormy.
Patrick: He left his Best Friend ribbon behind! Patrick: What is that thing?!,"I don't know, Patrick. But whatever it is...it must've eaten Wormy!"
Patrick:  Why does this keep happening to me?!,"Quick, Patrick! We've gotta make a run for the door!  No! Patrick, it’s blocking our only exit!"
Patrick: Now what? We're trapped in here with that... that... Best Friend Eater!,"Let's not panic. We just have to stick together. Remember, it's two against one. Right, Patrick? Patrick?  It’s eaten Patrick!  Patrick, you're alive!"
Patrick: I am?,"Patrick, we can't leave this horrible monster in Sandy's house. It might eat Sandy's other pets!"
"Patrick: Or worse, it might eat Sandy's pets.","No, it might eat Sandy! We've gotta get it out of here!"
Patrick: It's for you!,It's working. It’s gonna answer it.
Patrick: Tartar sauce.,"You look pretty appetizing, Patrick. Now, just stay here and wait for the monster. I'll go get the net."
Patrick:  SpongeBob! Hurry up with that net!,"Hold on, Patrick!"
"Patrick: I really don't taste that good, Monster.","I'm coming, Patrick!  No, Monster, please don't eat me! No, no, no! Spare me, I don't taste good, no! Please! Wait a second.  Yeah!  We did it, Patrick! Sandy's gonna be so proud of us. We got that horrible monster out of her house and best of all her pets are safe. 'Cause that horrible creature is now......heading straight for the Krusty Krab!  It's going in the front! Let's use the secret entrance."
"Squidward: Okay, hold still. Patrick: It's gonna eat Squidward and Mr. Krabs!","Hit the deck, Mr. Krabs!"
"Squidward: Say money. Mr. Krabs: Money! Mr. Krabs: What's the meaning of this, SpongeBob?!",We're in serious danger. There's a-a-a...a monster out there.
Mr. Krabs: Is it a paying customer?,"Oh no, Mr. Krabs. It doesn't want to eat Krabby Patties. It wants to eat YOU!"
"Patrick:  Just like it ate Wormy! Squidward: Um, Wormy?",Why? Why? He was so young.
"Patrick: We’ll never forget you, Wormy. Squidward: Well, if Moron Theater's over, I'm just going to take a look at this monster.  That's the monster? Patrick: Pretty scary, huh?",A living nightmare!
"Squidward: I should have known.  Well, that's it. I'm getting off the Looney Express. Mr. Krabs: Now just 'cause you swabs never seen a creature like this doesn't mean it's dangerous.",We tried to warn them. I can't watch.
"Squidward: Get a load of the scary monster.  Monster. Mr. Krabs: Aww, it looks harmless... Squidward: It's kinda cute. Mr. Krabs: It reminds me of money! Squidward: Monster.",Squidward?
Patrick: Mr. Krabs?,"It ate them! And there it goes!  First Wormy, then Squidward, Mr. Krabs!  That flying monster has eaten three friends too many. We must inform the citizens! Evil has surfaced. The faith of Bikini Bottom is in our hands, Patrick. Now let's roll."
"Patrick: Aye-aye, captain.","Okay, Patrick, this is a very delicate situation. It must be treated with great care and sensitivity."
Patrick: Gotcha.,"Run, everybody, run!"
Patrick: Monster on the loose!,Monster!
"Patrick:  Attention, Bikini Bottom! There's a flying monster that's going to eat you! Fish #1, Gerbil, TV Fish, and Fish #2:  A monster?! Realistic Fish Head: Attention, attention! This just in!  A giant monster is attacking Bikini Bottom.","We did it, Patrick! We saved the city!  Just think what might of happened if we didn't tell everyone about the monster."
"Patrick: About the what? Sandy: Shoot! Looks like a twister hit this place. Where is everybody?  Oh, hey there Wormy.  You weren't supposed to change till I got back. That oughta hold ya, little guy.  Howdy, SpongeBob.",Sandy caught the monster!
"Sandy: I didn't know I'd be missed so much. Golly, maybe I should go out of town more often. Patrick: There, there, SpongeBob. No need to cry.","Yes, there is, Patrick. Sandy's been gone for 2 whole days."
Patrick: 2 whole days?!?!,"Oh, why'd she have to go to that science convention in Tejas?!"
Patrick: Tejas!,"She won't be back for 1 more hour, 26 minutes and 47 seconds!"
"Patrick: Oh, 47 seconds!  I miss Sandy so much. Her tentacles,  the way she plays clarinet, her massive nose!","Patrick, that's Squidward.  He's not gone, he's right here."
"Squidward:  No, I'm not.","I sure do miss that squirrel.  Her karate chopping,  that ten-gallon glass dome over her dome. And who can forget those buck teeth?  After Sandy gets back, we're gonna let her know just how much we miss her."
Patrick: Is Sandy the one I call Mom?,"No, Patrick, that's your mother. But that does give me an idea. We'll throw Sandy the mother of all welcome home parties! Patrick, to the treedome!"
Patrick: Wa-hey!,"Ah.  Huh?  We've readied this place for Sandy's arrival, which should be in about...  ...Whoo! Right now!  ♪ Welcome home, Sandy, you know that we missed ya! ♪"
"Nat Peterson:  NO!  NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR YOU SING! Sandy: Sorry, SpongeBob, he's got a fierce no-singing policy.","That's quite alright, Miss Cheeks. As long you don't have a fierce no-partying policy!  First cake, then we'll karate-chop, and then..."
"Sandy:  Wow, guys! You two, uh...  Really know how to, uhhh...  throw a party...",I knew it! You have been itching to see us!
"Sandy: Well, something's making my skin crawl.",Maybe a slice of cake will take your mind off of your crawling hide.  Patrick and I made this cake especially for your return.
Patrick: This is gonna taste so good again.,"Dig in, Sandy!  Uh..."
"Sandy: Looks... tasty, SpongeBob!","Are you okay, Sandy?"
Sandy: I'm fine. My skin just hasn't adjusted to this here underwater air.,"Uh... hey, Sandy. Sandy.  Surprise!  Patrick and I chipped in and got ya a little somethin' somethin'."
"Sandy: Aww, guys, you shouldn't have.  A new itch board? I mean, a new snowboard? Boy, I sure can't wait to scratch this down chafe mountain.",Don't you mean ride this down Scab Mountain?
"Sandy: Thank you very rawness, SpongeBob and Pat.","Uh, you're welcome, Sandy. Hey, uh, are you still up for some karate chops?"
"Sandy:  Rashy sore! I mean, sure!",Ya ready?  And how 'bout now? You ready?
"Sandy:  Creepin' critters! Feels like somethin's bitin' me.  I've got a flea? Well, I ain't gonna take that without a fight!  Hi...yah!  I'll get ya!  SpongeBob, my suitcase! Hurry!  I'm ashamed to say this, SpongeBob, but while I was in Texas, I seem to have picked up a flea.",What's a flea?
Sandy: A flea is a dastardly little vermin that bites us air breathers. But this here flea collar will send the critter a-runnin'.,"Ahahaha, he tickles! Oh, this isn't so bad!  OWWWW!  He bit me! Got any more of those fancy collars, Sandy?"
"Sandy: No, but you can use this one right quick. Patrick: Ow! Ah, ooh, ow, ooh, ah, yah, aah!  Hahaha, connect the dots!  I drawed a horsey!  Ouch! Why does this flea keep biting me? Sandy: 'Cause he's hungry. When a flea bites ya, it's 'cause he's sucking up your blood for nutrition. Patrick: I've been bit by a vampire flea!  Noooooo! I'm gonna turn into a vampire now!  It's already happening!! Ah, ah!! Sandy: Patrick,  there ain't no such thing as vampires. Patrick:  Augh! Doesn't matter!  Oh, this itch is killing me! Yagh!!! Sandy: Aah! Gimme that!  Phew!","Nyahh! Oh. Sandy, please. Hellllp meeeee!"
Sandy:  I need this!,I need it more.
"Patrick: Eee! Sandy: Yah!  Enough! I will not take this anymore!  Whatcha gonna do now, punks?  Looky, it worked! Phew. I'm glad that's over.","Um, is that what over looks like?"
Sandy: Tarnation! They're multiplyin' like mad!  Run! SpongeBob & Patrick: Okay! Patrick: Wah!,Whoa!
Sandy: Hey!  Y'all got the aim of a cross-eyed armadilla!  Run again! SpongeBob and Patrick: Okay!,Aah!
Patrick: Mraah! Sandy: Aah!,"Uh, thanks for having us, Sandy, but we gotta go!"
"Patrick: Yeah, good to see ya. SpongeBob and Patrick: Raah!  Help! Help! Help! Squidward: Just ignore them, Squidward, and continue your power walk. Heel, toe, heel, toe, heel, toe, heel, toe. Sandy: Back off!","Sandy! Oh, no! Are you okay?"
"Sandy: Them varmints is tough. They're from Texas, phew! Patrick: It's gonna be all right.  We will help you.  Okay, you know what? None of this would have happened if you didn't come back with your infestation! All you've brought us is fleas and trouble and pain and itching... and a rash. And pain and fleas and itching and... pain. Soooooo much pain! So much pain.  And as for you. If you hadn't thrown this party, we wouldn't be in this mess.",Wait a minute! You had as much to do with this party as I did!
Patrick: You call this a party? I'm beginning to question  our friendship!,Stop smudging my helmet!
"Patrick: Oh, I've got half a mind, buddy! Sandy:  WOULD YOU TWO MEN STOP YELLING AT EACH OTHER!!!  WHAT DOES THAT PROVE!!?? IF WE'RE GONNA GET OUT OF THIS, WE GOTTA WORK TOGETHER! Patrick: You're right. I have an idea. SpongeBob, you get on Sandy's shoulders.  Uh-huh. Good. Now, I'll get on top of you!  Ahhhh...  Ahhhhhhhh. Much better.  Whoa! Sandy:  I do not play games!  Quick! Get in the tree house, it's the only safe place left!  We should be protected here.  Hold on!",Is this how we're gonna spend the rest of our lives? Living in fleas instead of water?
Sandy:  SpongeBob! That's it! Water! SpongeBob and Patrick: Water!,"It sure is good to have you back, Sandy. This is how to live, isn't it my friend?"
"Patrick: You said it buddy. Evelyn: He's amazing! Frank: I'll say! Kids: Whoa! Evelyn: Who is that guy? Nazz: That's Larry the Lobster. He's like living large! Nat: What's your secret Larry? Larry: Well, you've gotta take risks.  Live on the edge. All: Ooh! Larry: And you can't... Uh... You can't...  And you can't live like these two. Just look at 'em. Spineless,  weak,  afraid of their own shadows.  Pathetic! Nat: Larry, how can they redeem their worthless lives? Larry: I'll tell you how: by living each day as if it were their last! Patrick: How do we do that? Larry: By living like me, Larry. Patrick: But what's that have... Larry: By living, like Larry. Both: Living, like Larry. Larry: Living like Larry! Patrick: Living like Larry. Living like Larry.  This is bogus!",What's that Pat?
"Patrick: SpongeBob, these are the best years of our lives, and you want to waste them blowing bubbles? We should be living in the moment! We should be living like Lar...  This is it SpongeBob! This is where we redeem are miserable lives! It's time to start...  ...LIVIN' LIKE LARRY!  Hey, SpongeBob! SpongeBob?",I'm living like Larry! Whoo-hoo!
Patrick: Where were you SpongeBob? That was awesome!,"Hey Patrick, where you going?"
Patrick: To live my friend! We are going to live!  This is going to be the best fun yet!,I don't know about this Patrick.
"Patrick: You must defeat your reason, before you can start...  ...living like Larry!  Wo-hoo! SpongeBob, this is it! Music: Livin' Like Larry",De dee do dee do livin' like Larry. Dee dee dee doo livin' like Larry. Deedeedeedee livin' like Larry.
Patrick: Come on SpongeBob! What are you waiting for? Let's go!,"Uh, Patrick, where are we going?"
Patrick: Just you wait! it's the ultimate!  What do you think? And wait 'till you see the best part!  Hey you guys.,"I don't know Patrick, this looks very danger..."
Patrick: Here's to living like Larry!,"Well, wait a minute Patrick, I think your missing the point. Living like Larry doesn't mean throwing caution to the wind, and risking everything on a stunt that will cost you your life."
"Patrick: Don't you mean, cost us our lives SpongeBob?","No Patrick, I mean your life. I'm not going."
Patrick: I see. And that's your final word on the subject?,Mmm-hmm.
Patrick: I feel sorry for you.,I wonder how Patrick's doing with his living like Larry thing.
Patrick: SpongeBob!  SpongeBob!  You were right SpongeBob! I went too far! I went too far!,"Oh it's okay buddy, I think you learned your lesson. Hmm?"
Patrick: Uh-uh. Tough Guy 1: Don't make us come in there kid!,"Now you just let me handle those guys out there.  Gentlemen, Gentlemen."
All: What the?,"I know that you might be angry at my friend for his shenanigans, but you are not the only victim. His reckless thrill chasing has made him a hollow shell of his former self. Just look  So let me assure you, his days of living in the moment are over. Can you not forgive him for what ever he did?"
Tough Guy 2: Sure pal. Sure.,"By the way, what did he do that made you all so cranky?"
Tough Guy 2: He knocked over our motorcycles!,"So scared! Adrenalin pumping!  Spine tingling! Endorphins rushing! I've never felt so alive! Oh, yeah baby, yeah! This is what Patrick was talking about! This is really living in the moment! Woo-yeah! This is life! Woo, woo, yeah, woo!  Now I am finally living like Larry!"
Patrick: Are you sure about this SpongeBob?,"Oh come on Patrick, what happened to being in the moment?"
"Patrick: I don't know SpongeBob, this looks pretty dangerous.","Yeah, yeah, you said it buddy! Now we're really living like Larry!"
"Larry: Well, would you look at that. Now there's two guys who know how to live!",Prepare for countdown!
"Larry: I'm proud of them.  Wait a minute, with that angle of trajectory, they'll land right in...Rippers Reef! They'll be ripped to shreds!  Wait, don't do it! Stop!",3-2-1 Lift off.
Larry: Drat!,Whooooo!!! Whoohooooo!!! Whoowoowoo!!!
"Larry: Whoooooa!!!  Look, guys, my advice wasn't meant to be taken literally! I meant to live life to the fullest, not to maim yourselves! Look! Patrick: Uh oh! Larry: AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!  AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!","What are you two lazy bones doing lying around? There's a really cool ramp down the hall, I've got room for two more.  What would Larry do?"
"Larry:  What would Larry do? I'll show you what Larry would do!  Come here! Come here I said! Hey! Version #1 (Original Airing/The First 100 Episodes Version) Narrator: Ahoy, kids. It's time for SpongeBob's You Wish Spectacular Special! Pirates: Hooray! Narrator: And now the host of You Wish. He's got puffier pantaloons than Captain Kidd, and fuzzier facial hair than Blackbeard. He's America's favorite Pirate, Patchy of Encino! Patchy:  Ahoy, fellow fanatics! Welcome to me quarters. Why don't come on back on the galley, I'm cooking up a little treat for you today. (walks inside, and to the kitchen) It's call-in-and-vote time. You get to choose how our cartoon ends today, via the phone, or the Internet if you're technologically inclined. Now this cartoon is different from most cartoons in that- Potty: Bawk! In what way? Patchy: Well, if it isn't my less-than-amusing sidekick, Potty the Parrot. Potty, say hello to the nice people. Potty: Help! I'm being held here against my will-- Help! Patchy: Argh...  Oh, Potty come back! Potty? Potty? Where'd you go?  Potty? You in there, buddy? Potty? Potty? Potty:  Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Patchy: Get me out of here, you scurvy bird!  Now, what was I saying? (Patchy walks to his desk with so many phones and sits down) Now, this cartoon ain't like most of your land-lubbing cartoons. This cartoon has not one, not two, but three different endings! So, when I tell you to, call the number that's scrolling down there at the bottom of the screen: 1 (800) 624-4094 or go to Nick.com.  No, not now! Don't call till I tell you to! Roll the cartoon! Now, remember to vote at the end because-  You're not gonna make this easy, are ya? Quiet! I'm not there! Belate that ringing! Stop! It's driving me mad!","(yawns) Mmm, Kelp-O! With one of eight essential prizes inside!  Holy shrimp!  Squidward! The sky had a baby from my cereal box! Squidward!  Squidward! The sky had a baby!"
"Squidward: That's not a baby! That's a giant anchor! Now go away! Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob! The sky had a baby!",I know! What do you think we should name it?
Patrick: How about... Squidward: Why don't you two go climb its anchor rope? I'm sure it goes somewhere far away!  Now look what you've done!,"We didn't do it, Squidward. Our hands are clean!"
"Patrick: Clean... Squidward:  Well, I'm gonna get to the bottom of this thing.","Wouldn't that be the top? Squid, wait! Wait!"
Patrick: Squidward! Narrator: A few inches later...,Ship!
"Patrick: SpongeBob, how long are you gonna stay in your little fantasy world?","No, look, a giant ship!"
Squidward: Great! Let's go! Now I can finally give this anchor-dropper a piece of my mind.,"I don't know, Squidward. That ship has a spooky green glow around it."
Squidward: That's probably because its good-for-nothing owner is too lazy to clean or drop its anchors in the right place.,"Squid, wait!"
"Squidward: All right, who owns this crate?  Come on out! I wanna file a complaint!",Doesn't this place seem familiar?
Patrick: I don't know. Why?,I don't know. Doesn't it just kind of ring a bell?
Patrick: Yes!,I know who owns this boat but I just can't place the name.
Flying Dutchman: Rawr!,"No, no, it's not rawr!"
Flying Dutchman: I am the Flying Dutchman!,"That's it! Squidward, this ship belongs to the Red Baron!"
Flying Dutchman: Who be disturbin' the Flying Dutchman in his own lair?,It's Squidward. He wants to complain to you.
"Squidward: I...no, I don't.","Well, what about all that stuff about him having a dirty ship and being lazy and all?"
Squidward:  I never said that. Flying Dutchman: Insultin' a man's ship be worse than insultin' his mother!,"No, no, wait, it was his mother you said was dirty, not his ship."
Squidward:  Ow. Flying Dutchman:  You're next! SpongeBob and Patrick:  That was a close one! Flying Dutchman: Welcome back!,That was a closer one!
"Flying Dutchman: Welcome back! Squidward: Hey! How come when they act up, all they get is the welcome wagon? If you ask me, it's... Flying Dutchman: So, are you gonna try that again? Patrick: Probably. Flying Dutchman: How 'bout now? Patrick: Uhh... Squidward:  No, no, they're not. Whew. Flying Dutchman: Now listen.  Whosoever sets foot on the Flying Dutchman's ship, uninvited or otherwise, shall become members of his ghostly crew forever!  And, uhh , ever. Squidward: Will we be getting business cards? Flying Dutchman:  Silence! You're part of my crew now, and our job is to sail around and frighten people. It'll be grueling, mind- numbing, and repetitive. Just like...daytime television. Squidward: Now you listen here, mister. If you think I'm gonna spend more than five minutes on this dumpster, then you're crazy. I mean, look at this place. It's disgusting!  Whoever told you that having oil lamps next to hardwood paneling was a good idea...  Oh, oh, now what? I suppose you're gonna show me...  Oh, gee, that's very nice. What is this, some kind of magic act? Flying Dutchman:  Would anyone else like to enter the Fly of Despair?","No! We know our place now, Mister Dutchman."
"Patrick: We'll do anything you say! Flying Dutchman: Then, for starters, you can...swab the deck!","Look, Patrick! A real, live, ghost mop!"
"Patrick: And I got this hat! Flying Dutchman: Listen! We're heading down to Bikini Bottom tonight for a little haunting spree, so I want this ship to look good and scary!","You mean you want it to look good...and scary. Well, I think we can probably..."
"Patrick: No, no, I think he means he wants it to look so good that it's scary.",Or maybe that by looking so scary you forget that it doesn't look good!
Patrick: I don't get it.,"Look, it's easy, it simply means that..."
"Flying Dutchman: Never mind what it means! I just want it to look scary! That's it! You know, mold growing on the ceilings and bugs in the sink.","So, you don't want it to look good?"
"Patrick: Leedle-leedle-leedle-lee!  Leedle-eedle-eedle- eedle-eedle!  Leedle-eedle-eedle-eedle-eedle!  Leedle-eedle-eedle-eedle-eedle! Flying Dutchman: Eh, that'll do. Okay, Square One, since Pink One's working the navigation, it's up to you to find our first victim. Here, use this spyglass. Now hurry up! We're burnin' moonlight!","Let's see who we can find.  Captain, there's a guy we can scare."
"Billy:  I had four biscuits, and I ate one. Then I only had three! Flying Dutchman: Ahh, it does me heart good to see children out after dark. Pink One, take us behind those rocks. Patrick: Moving behind the rocks!","Keep going. You're good. You're good. You're good...and...stop. Don't worry, Cap'n, we'll buff out those scratches."
"Flying Dutchman: All right, never mind it. Just jump out when I give the signal. Flying Dutchman: Boo! Prepare to be burdened with the haunting memory of my ghostly ghost pirates!","Was that the signal? Okay, sorry, sorry, just...just do it again."
"Flying Dutchman: With the haunting memory of my ghostly ghost pirates! Patrick: How does he do that? Flying Dutchman: Get back on the ship. SpongeBob and Patrick: It's still a mystery! Billy: Those guys are dorks. Flying Dutchman: Yes, but they're my dorks.",You're good. You're good. You're good.  You're good. You're good. You're good.  You're good.. You're good. You're good.  Why do you think the Dutchman asked us to wait in our bunk room?
Patrick: Maybe he's gonna give us a reward!,Like movie passes?
Patrick: Or an oversized coffee mug?! Flying Dutchman: I've been thinking. Stop bouncing!  This whole crew for eternity thing isn't working out. It's not really you so much as it is me.,You're setting us free?
"Flying Dutchman: Well, actually, I'm just gonna eat you. See you at dinner! Patrick: Wait, I have an idea!",Really?! What is it?
Patrick: Let's leave!,But the door is locked and the only way out is through the...perfume department.
Patrick: Let's do it.,I always hate going in there!
Patrick: Yeah.,Wait! Listen!
"Flying Dutchman: Dear Diary: I told them I'm going to eat them tomorrow. I made up some of that brown sauce my cousin showed me just for the occasion. Ahh, it's a good thing I found my dining sock again. Remember the last time I lost me dining sock, I couldn't eat for a whole week. Yes, sir, sometimes I wonder how I'd survive if anything should ever happen... Flying Dutchman:  Give me back my sock! Everyone knows I can't eat without it!",Never!
"Flying Dutchman: Okay, then...  Give it to me!",No!
"Flying Dutchman: Wait, you're stretching out the elastic! Patrick: It would seem we have reached an impasse. Flying Dutchman: Pink one is right. Tell you what. You give me back the sock, and I'll give you...three wishes. Patrick: Make it five. Flying Dutchman: Four. Patrick: Three. Take it or leave it. Flying Dutchman: Okay...uhh, three. You get three wishes.","Wow! Three wishes, Pat. Isn't that great?"
"Patrick: Wishes? I wish we had known that earlier! Flying Dutchman: Okay, you got two wishes left.","Well, we still have two more. How exciting! I wish Squidward were here to see this!"
"Squidward: Boy, I'm glad all that's over! SpongeBob and Patrick: Squidward! You're back!","Guess what? The Dutchman gave us three wishes! Patrick used the first one, and I guess I...  just used the second one."
"Squidward: Well, then, the last one you owe me because you got me back into this mess! Patrick: Wait! I think it belongs to me!  Because I didn't really get a real wish, so why should you get a wish...","Well, that's not right because..."
"Flying Dutchman: That's enough! Using my mystic other-worldly powers, I shall decide who gets the last wish.  Eeny, meeny, miny, mo, catch a sailor by the toe, if he hollers, let him go, my mother told me to pick the very best one and... Voting Guy: All hands! All hands! Time to vote! It's voting time! Patchy: Well, that's our cartoon so far. Now its time for you to decide how it ends! Who will get the last wish? Will it be Sassy Squidward, Porky Patrick, or Good Ol' SpongeBob? Just dial the number below: 1 (800) 624-4094 or go to Nick.com and tell us who you be choosing.  My trusty crew is eagerly awaiting your call.  So, hoist your anchor of that couch, and make with the voting! This is your big chance, and we'll be right back to announce...the winner!  That's it, kids! Keep calling! It's almost time! Get those votes in! A-Ha-Ha! WHOO! Democracy! A-Ha-Ha! WHOO! This is Patchy. Please hold. Potty's not here. Well, not yet. A-HA-HA-HA!  Ahoy children, I'm back! I hope all you boys and girls got your votes in, because it’s time for you to walk the plank!  Oh, sorry, kids. What I meant to say because it's time to announce the winner!  But first, let's look at the endings you didn't choose. According to our high tech counter-ology, you didn't choose...Patrick.  But, let's see what Patrick would've wished for if you picked him. OK! Roll the tape! Roll the tape! Roll the tape! Roll the tape! Roll the- oh god! Flying Dutchman:  My mother told me to pick the very best one and you are it!","That's you, Patrick. Make your wish."
"Patrick: Um... Squidward: Wait, Patrick, listen. I do not particularly feel like being trapped here for all eternity. Eternity is a very long time...  Understand?!","Patrick, you've got to think harder than you've ever thought before."
Patrick: Uhh...,That's not gonna do it! Think harder!
"Patrick: Uhh... Squidward and SpongeBob:  Come on! You can do it! Come on, Patrick! Yeah! Think really hard! Put on your thinking cap! Patrick: Uhh...  Okay! I've got it. Flying Dutchman: Thy wish is granted. Patrick:  Oh, I'm sorry. Want some gum? Squidward: You wished for gum? Patrick: Well, if we're gonna be here forever, we might as well have fresh breath! Flying Dutchman: Ahh, minty. Patchy: Heh heh heh. That Patrick shivers me timbers right down to my peg leg! Ha! ha! ha! You were right not to pick that one kids! Seemed like a lot of nonsense to me! Malarkey! Oh well, let's take a look at the other loser! Heh heh heh!  It appears you didn't vote for Squidward! I don't blame you, I wouldn't have either. But, let's see what would happen if the Old Dutchman's Meeny-Miney-Mo finger landed on Squidward! Flying Dutchman:  You are it!","Squidward, you get a wish! A great big wish!"
Squidward: That's right! And you know what I wish? Patrick: No! Squidward: I wish that I had never met you two barnacle-heads before in my entire life! Flying Dutchman: So be it.,"Hi there, I don't believe we've met. My name is SpongeBob, and this is my associate Patrick."
"Patrick: Hi. Squidward: That's not what I meant! Flying Dutchman: Well, now that introductions are out of the way, it's time for dinner.",And what did you say your name was?
Squidward: I'm Squidward. I'm your neighbor.,"Oh, nice to meet you, Squid-ward.  We'll have plenty of time to get to know each other, I guess."
"Patchy: And now, the moment you've all been waiting for, So get ready to blow milk out of your nose because it's time to announce...the winner! The envelope please, Potty. Thank you, my fine feathered assistant. Well, what do you know? The winner is...SpongeBob!  Hey, Potty, do you smell something? Oh, Potty! That fuse in your head! I told you we're not doing that stunt! Potty: Brawk, I didn't get the memo! Brawk! Patchy: And now, the most requested ending! Hooray! Flying Dutchman:  You are it! Squidward: Now, think, SpongeBob! We're about to get eaten. What can you wish for to make it so we don't get eaten?","Don't worry, Squidward. I've got it all figured out. He won't be able to eat us because...I wish the Dutchman was a vegetarian!"
"SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward: Hooray!",We're home!
"Patrick: You did it, SpongeBob. We're safe! Squidward: But why have we been turned into fruits? Flying Dutchman: Hey, I get a wish, too. Fruit prevents scurvy!  Hey, get back here with that! Patchy:  Hold on! Sorry about that, kids! It’s just that old Patchy can't help but get all choked up at the end of a show. But the good news is, when you watch this cartoon land-lubbing style like you usually do, it'll have the ending you picked, so now you're an official big time cartoon decision maker!  Just don't let it go to your head! Well, say good night to the folks, Potty! Potty! Potty: Squawk! I quit! I quit! Patchy:  Well, that's it folks. Right now, I've got a little employee management to take care of. Oh, Potty! Potty, get in your nice cage! Potty: Brawk! I don't think so! Narrator:  And so, we conclude SpongeBob's You Wish Spectacular Special. Thanks for voting. Patchy: Ow! Version #2 (Reruns) Narrator: And now, it's time for Patchy's Pick. Hosted by: SpongeBob's number one fan, Patchy the Pirate. Patchy:  Ahoy, fellow fanatics! Welcome to Patchy's Pick. Why don't come on back on the galley, I got a little treat for you today.  We're gonna see me favorite show, Shanghaied! Ta-da! Potty: Boring! Patchy: Well, if it isn't my less-than-amusing sidekick, Potty the Parrot. Potty, say hello to the nice people. Potty: Bawk! I'm being held here against my will-- Help! Patchy: Argh...  Oh, Potty come back! Potty? Potty? Where'd you go?  Potty? You in there, buddy? Potty? Potty? Potty:  Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Patchy: Get me out of here, you scurvy bird!  Well, roll the cartoon.","(yawns) Mmm, Kelp-O! With one of eight essential prizes inside!  Holy shrimp!  Squidward! The sky had a baby from my cereal box! Squidward!  Squidward! The sky had a baby!"
"Squidward: That's not a baby! That's a giant anchor! Now go away! Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob! The sky had a baby!",I know! What do you think we should name it?
Patrick: How about... Squidward: Why don't you two go climb its anchor rope? I'm sure it goes somewhere far away!  Now look what you've done!,"We didn't do it, Squidward. Our hands are clean!"
"Patrick: Clean... Squidward:  Well, I'm gonna get to the bottom of this thing.","Wouldn't that be the top? Squid, wait! Wait!"
Patrick: Squidward! Narrator: A few inches later...,Ship!
"Patrick: SpongeBob, how long are you gonna stay in your little fantasy world?","No, look, a giant ship!"
Squidward: Great! Let's go! Now I can finally give this anchor-dropper a piece of my mind.,"I don't know, Squidward. That ship has a spooky green glow around it."
Squidward: That's probably because its good-for-nothing owner is too lazy to clean or drop its anchors in the right place.,"Squid, wait!"
"Squidward: All right, who owns this crate?  Come on out! I wanna file a complaint!",Doesn't this place seem familiar?
Patrick: I don't know. Why?,I don't know. Doesn't it just kind of ring a bell?
Patrick: Yes!,I know who owns this boat but I just can't place the name.
Flying Dutchman: Rawr!,"No, no, it's not rawr!"
Flying Dutchman: I am the Flying Dutchman!,"That's it! Squidward, this ship belongs to the Red Baron!"
Flying Dutchman: Who be disturbin' the Flying Dutchman in his own lair?,It's Squidward. He wants to complain to you.
"Squidward: I...no, I don't.","Well, what about all that stuff about him having a dirty ship and being lazy and all?"
Squidward:  I never said that. Flying Dutchman: Insultin' a man's ship be worse than insultin' his mother!,"No, no, wait, it was his mother you said was dirty, not his ship."
Squidward:  Ow. Flying Dutchman:  You're next! SpongeBob and Patrick:  That was a close one! Flying Dutchman: Welcome back!,That was a closer one!
"Flying Dutchman: Welcome back! Squidward: Hey! How come when they act up, all they get is the welcome wagon? If you ask me, it's... Flying Dutchman: So, are you gonna try that again? Patrick: Probably. Flying Dutchman: How 'bout now? Patrick: Uhh... Squidward:  No, no, they're not. Whew. Flying Dutchman: Now listen.  Whosoever sets foot on the Flying Dutchman's ship, uninvited or otherwise, shall become members of his ghostly crew forever!  And, uhh , ever. Squidward: Will we be getting business cards? Flying Dutchman:  Silence! You're part of my crew now, and our job is to sail around and frighten people. It'll be grueling, mind- numbing, and repetitive. Just like... daytime television. Squidward: Now you listen here, mister. If you think I'm gonna spend more than five minutes on this dumpster, then you're crazy. I mean, look at this place. It's disgusting!  Whoever told you that having oil lamps next to hardwood paneling was a good idea...  Oh, oh, now what? I suppose you're gonna show me...  Oh, gee, that's very nice. What is this, some kind of magic act? Flying Dutchman:  Would anyone else like to enter the Fly of Despair?","No! We know our place now, Mr. Dutchman."
"Patrick: We'll do anything you say! Flying Dutchman: Then, for starters, you can...swab the deck!","Look, Patrick! A real, live, ghost mop!"
"Patrick: And I got this hat! Flying Dutchman: Listen! We're heading down to Bikini Bottom tonight for a little haunting spree, so I want this ship to look good and scary!","You mean you want it to look good...and scary. Well, I think we can probably..."
"Patrick: No, no, I think he means he wants it to look so good that it's scary.",Or maybe that by looking so scary you forget that it doesn't look good!
Patrick: I don't get it.,"Look, it's easy, it simply means that..."
"Flying Dutchman: Never mind what it means! I just want it to look scary! That's it! You know, mold growing on the ceilings and bugs in the sink.","So, you don't want it to look good?"
"Patrick: Leedle-leedle-leedle-lee!  Leedle-eedle-eedle- eedle-eedle!  Leedle-eedle-eedle-eedle-eedle!  Leedle-eedle-eedle-eedle-eedle! Flying Dutchman: Eh, that'll do. Okay, Square One, since Pink One's working the navigation, it's up to you to find our first victim. Here, use this spyglass. Now hurry up! We're burnin' moonlight!","Let's see who we can find.  Captain, there's a guy we can scare."
"Billy:  I had four biscuits, and I ate one. Then I only had three! Flying Dutchman: Ahh, it does me heart good to see children out after dark. Pink One, take us behind those rocks. Patrick: Moving behind the rocks!","Keep going. You're good. You're good. You're good...and...stop. Don't worry, Cap'n, we'll buff out those scratches."
"Flying Dutchman: All right, never mind it. Just jump out when I give the signal. Flying Dutchman: Boo! Prepare to be burdened with the haunting memory of my ghostly ghost pirates!","Was that the signal? Okay, sorry, sorry, just...just do it again."
"Flying Dutchman: With the haunting memory of my ghostly ghost pirates! Patrick: How does he do that? Flying Dutchman: Get back on the ship. SpongeBob and Patrick: It's still a mystery! Billy: Those guys are dorks. Flying Dutchman: Yes, but they're my dorks.",You're good. You're good. You're good.  You're good. You're good. You're good.  You're good.. You're good. You're good.  Why do you think the Dutchman asked us to wait in our bunk room?
Patrick: Maybe he's gonna give us a reward!,Like movie passes?
Patrick: Or an oversized coffee mug?! Flying Dutchman: I've been thinking. Stop bouncing!  This whole crew for eternity thing isn't working out. It's not really you so much as it is me.,You're setting us free?
"Flying Dutchman: Well, actually, I'm just gonna eat you. See you at dinner! Patrick: Wait, I have an idea!",Really?! What is it?
Patrick: Let's leave!,But the door is locked and the only way out is through the...perfume department.
Patrick: Let's do it.,I always hate going in there!
Patrick: Yeah.,Wait! Listen!
"Flying Dutchman: Dear Diary: I told them I'm going to eat them tomorrow. I made up some of that brown sauce my cousin showed me just for the occasion. Ahh, it's a good thing I found my dining sock again. Remember the last time I lost me dining sock, I couldn't eat for a whole week. Yes, sir, sometimes I wonder how I'd survive if anything should ever happen...  Give me back my sock! Everyone knows I can't eat without it!",Never!
"Flying Dutchman: Okay, then...  Give it to me!",No!
"Flying Dutchman: Wait, you're stretching out the elastic! Patrick: It would seem we have reached an impasse. Flying Dutchman: Pink one is right. Tell you what. You give me back the sock, and I'll give you...three wishes. Patrick: Make it five. Flying Dutchman: Four. Patrick: Three. Take it or leave it. Flying Dutchman: Okay...uhh, three. You get three wishes.","Wow! Three wishes, Pat. Isn't that great?"
"Patrick: Wishes? I wish we had known that earlier! Flying Dutchman: Okay, you got two wishes left.","Well, we still have two more. How exciting! I wish Squidward were here to see this!"
"Squidward: Boy, I'm glad all that's over! SpongeBob and Patrick: Squidward! You're back!","Guess what? The Dutchman gave us three wishes! Patrick used the first one, and I guess I...  just used the second one."
"Squidward: Well, then, the last one you owe me because you got me back into this mess! Patrick: Wait! I think it belongs to me!  Because I didn't really get a real wish, so why should you get a wish...","Well, that's not right because..."
"Flying Dutchman: That's enough! Using my mystic other-worldly powers, I shall decide who gets the last wish.  Eeny, meeny, miny, mo, catch a sailor by the toe, if he hollers, let him go, my mother told me to pick the very best one and...  You are it! Squidward: Hurry, SpongeBob! We're about to get eaten. What can you wish for to make it so we don't get eaten?","Don't worry, Squidward. I've got it all figured out. He won't be able to eat us because...I wish that the Dutchman was a vegetarian!"
"SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward: Hooray!",We're home!
"Patrick: You did it, SpongeBob. We're saved! Squidward: But why have we been turned into fruits? Flying Dutchman: Hey, I get a wish, too.  Fruit prevents scurvy!  Hey, get back here with that! Patchy: Ahoy, children! I'm back! I hope all you boys and girls enjoyed the show because it's time for you to walk the plank!  Oh, sorry, kids. What I meant to say because it's time for fan mail! Old-time crowd: Hooray! Patchy: And now, the moment you've all been waiting for, so get ready to blow milk out of your nose because we're gonna open a letter!  The envelope please, Potty. Thank you, my fine feathered assistant. Potty: Brawk, you're not welcome. Patchy:  Hey, Potty, do you smell something?  Oh, Potty! That fuse in your head! I told you we're not doing that stunt! Potty: Brawk, I didn't get the memo! Brawk! Patchy: Well, that's it for Patchy's Pick. Hooray! Different endings There are various endings to Shanghaied. Differences between each other are the different fates of SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward, depending on who the Flying Dutchman picked. Below are the different endings: SpongeBob's ending Flying Dutchman: That's enough! Using my mystic other-worldly powers, I shall decide who gets the last wish.  Eeny, meeny, miny, mo, catch a sailor by the toe, if he hollers, let him go, my mother told me to pick the very best one and...  You are it! Squidward: Now, think, SpongeBob! We're about to get eaten. What can you wish for to make it so we don't get eaten?","Don't worry, Squidward. I've got it all figured out. He won't be able to eat us because...I wish the Dutchman was a vegetarian!"
"SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward: Hooray!",We're home!
"Patrick: You did it SpongeBob. We're saved! Squidward: But why have we been turned into fruits? Flying Dutchman: Hey, I get a wish, too. Fruit prevents scurvy!  Hey, get back here with that! Patrick's ending Flying Dutchman: That's enough! Using my mystic other-worldly powers, I shall decide who gets the last wish.  Eeny, meeny, miny, mo, catch a sailor by the toe, if he hollers, let him go, my mother told me to pick the very best one and...  You are it!","That's you, Patrick. Make your wish."
"Patrick: Umm... Squidward: Wait, Patrick. Listen, I do not particularly want to be trapped here for all eternity. Eternity is a very long time...  Understand?","Patrick, you've got to think harder than you ever thought before."
Patrick: Uhh...,That's not going to do it! Think harder!
Patrick:  Uhh... Squidward:  You can do it! Come on! Put on your thinking cap! Come on!,"Come on, Patrick! Yes, think, think really hard!  Yes, Patrick! You're doing good!"
"Patrick:  Okay! I got it! Flying Dutchman: Thou wish is granted. Patrick: Oh, I'm sorry... Want some gum? Squidward: You wished for gum? Patrick: Well, if we're going to be there forever, we might as well have fresh breath! Flying Dutchman: Ahh... Minty! Squidward's ending Flying Dutchman: That's enough! Using my mystic other-worldly powers, I shall decide who gets the last wish.  Eeny, meeny, miny, mo, catch a sailor by the toe, if he hollers, let him go, my mother told me to pick the very best one and...  You are it!",Squidward! You get to have a wish! A great big wish!
Squidward: That's right! And you know what I wish? Patrick: No! Squidward: I wish that I never met you two barnacle-heads before in my entire life! Flying Dutchman: So be it.,Hi there. I don't believe we've met. My name is SpongeBob and this is my associate Patrick.
"Patrick: Hi. Squidward: That's not what I meant! Flying Dutchman: Well, now that introductions are out of the way, it's time for dinner.",And what did you say your name was?
Squidward:  I'm Squidward. I'm your neighbor.,"Oh, nice to meet you, Squid Ward. We have plenty of time to know each other, I guess."
Version #3 (Without Patchy Segments),"(yawns) Mmm, Kelp-O! With one of eight essential prizes inside!  Holy shrimp! Squidward! The sky had a baby from my cereal box! Squidward!  Squidward! The sky had a baby!"
"Squidward: That's not a baby! That's a giant anchor! Now go away! Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob! The sky had a baby!",I know! What do you think we should name it?
Patrick: How about... Squidward: Why don't you two go climb its anchor rope? I'm sure it goes somewhere far away!  Now look what you've done!,"We didn't do it, Squidward. Our hands are clean!"
"Patrick: Clean... Squidward:  Well, I'm gonna get to the bottom of this thing.","Wouldn't that be the top? Squid, wait! Wait!"
Patrick: Squidward! Narrator: A few inches later...,Ship!
"Patrick: SpongeBob, how long are you gonna stay in your little fantasy world?","No, look, a giant ship!"
Squidward: Great! Let's go! Now I can finally give this anchor-dropper a piece of my mind.,"I don't know, Squidward. That ship has a spooky green glow around it."
Squidward: That's probably because its good-for-nothing owner is too lazy to clean or drop its anchors in the right place.,"Squid, wait!"
"Squidward: All right, who owns this crate?  Come on out! I wanna file a complaint!",Doesn't this place seem familiar?
Patrick: I don't know. Why?,I don't know. Doesn't it just kind of ring a bell?
Patrick: Yes!,I know who owns this boat but I just can't place the name.
Flying Dutchman: Rawr!,"No, no, it's not rawr!"
Flying Dutchman: I am the Flying Dutchman!,"That's it! Squidward, this ship belongs to the Red Baron!"
Flying Dutchman: Who be disturbin' the Flying Dutchman in his own lair?,It's Squidward. He wants to complain to you.
"Squidward: I...no, I don't.","Well, what about all that stuff about him having a dirty ship and being lazy and all?"
Squidward:  I never said that. Flying Dutchman: Insultin' a man's ship be worse than insultin' his mother!,"No, no, wait, it was his mother you said was dirty, not his ship."
Squidward:  Ow. Flying Dutchman:  You're next! SpongeBob and Patrick:  That was a close one! Flying Dutchman: Welcome back!,That was a closer one!
"Flying Dutchman: Welcome back! Squidward: Hey! How come when they act up, all they get is the welcome wagon? If you ask me, it's... Flying Dutchman: So, are you gonna try that again? Patrick: Probably. Flying Dutchman: How 'bout now? Patrick: Uhh... Squidward:  No, no, they're not. Whew. Flying Dutchman: Now listen.  Whosoever sets foot on the Flying Dutchman's ship, uninvited or otherwise, shall become members of his ghostly crew forever! And, uhh , ever. Squidward: Will we be getting business cards? Flying Dutchman:  Silence! You're part of my crew now, and our job is to sail around and frighten people. It'll be grueling, mind- numbing, and repetitive. Just like... daytime television. Squidward: Now you listen here, mister. If you think I'm gonna spend more than five minutes on this dumpster, then you're crazy. I mean, look at this place. It's disgusting!  Whoever told you that having oil lamps next to hardwood paneling was a good idea...  Oh, oh, now what? I suppose you're gonna show me...  Oh, gee, that's very nice. What is this, some kind of magic act? Flying Dutchman:  Would anyone else like to enter the Fly of Despair?","No! We know our place now, Mr. Dutchman."
"Patrick: We'll do anything you say! Flying Dutchman: Then, for starters, you can...swab the deck!","Look, Patrick! A real, live, ghost mop!"
"Patrick: And I got this hat! Flying Dutchman: Listen! We're heading down to Bikini Bottom tonight for a little haunting spree, so I want this ship to look good and scary!","You mean you want it to look good...and scary. Well, I think we can probably..."
"Patrick: No, no, I think he means he wants it to look so good that it's scary.",Or maybe that by looking so scary you forget that it doesn't look good!
Patrick: I don't get it.,"Look, it's easy, it simply means that..."
"Flying Dutchman: Never mind what it means! I just want it to look scary! That's it! You know, mold growing on the ceilings and bugs in the sink.","So, you don't want it to look good?"
"Patrick: Leedle-leedle-leedle-lee!  Leedle-eedle-eedle- eedle-eedle!  Leedle-eedle-eedle-eedle-eedle!  Leedle-eedle-eedle-eedle-eedle! Flying Dutchman: Eh, that'll do. Okay, Square One, since Pink One's working the navigation, it's up to you to find our first victim. Here, use this spyglass. Now hurry up! We're burnin' moonlight!","Let's see who we can find.  Captain, there's a guy we can scare."
"Billy:  I had four biscuits, and I ate one. Then I only had three! Flying Dutchman: Ahh, it does me heart good to see children out after dark. Pink One, take us behind those rocks. Patrick: Moving behind the rocks!","Keep going. You're good. You're good. You're good...and...stop. Don't worry, Cap'n, we'll buff out those scratches."
"Flying Dutchman: All right, never mind it. Just jump out when I give the signal. Flying Dutchman: Boo! Prepare to be burdened with the haunting memory of my ghostly ghost pirates!","Was that the signal? Okay, sorry, sorry, just...just do it again."
"Flying Dutchman: With the haunting memory of my ghostly ghost pirates! Patrick: How does he do that? Flying Dutchman: Get back on the ship. SpongeBob and Patrick: It's still a mystery! Billy: Those guys are dorks. Flying Dutchman: Yes, but they're my dorks.",You're good. You're good. You're good.  You're good. You're good. You're good.  You're good.. You're good. You're good.  Why do you think the Dutchman asked us to wait in our bunk room?
Patrick: Maybe he's gonna give us a reward!,Like movie passes?
Patrick: Or an oversized coffee mug?! Flying Dutchman: I've been thinking. Stop bouncing!  This whole crew for eternity thing isn't working out. It's not really you so much as it is me.,You're setting us free?
"Flying Dutchman: Well, actually, I'm just gonna eat you. See you at dinner! Patrick: Wait, I have an idea!",Really?! What is it?
Patrick: Let's leave!,But the door is locked and the only way out is through the...perfume department.
Patrick: Let's do it.,I always hate going in there!
Patrick: Yeah.,Wait! Listen!
"Flying Dutchman: Dear Diary: I told them I'm going to eat them tomorrow. I made up some of that brown sauce my cousin showed me just for the occasion. Ahh, it's a good thing I found my dining sock again. Remember the last time I lost me dining sock, I couldn't eat for a whole week. Yes, sir, sometimes I wonder how I'd survive if anything should ever happen...  Give me back my sock! Everyone knows I can't eat without it!",Never!
"Flying Dutchman: Okay, then... Give it to me!",No!
"Flying Dutchman: Wait, you're stretching out the elastic! Patrick: It would seem we have reached an impasse. Flying Dutchman: Pink one is right. Tell you what. You give me back the sock, and I'll give you...three wishes. Patrick: Make it five. Flying Dutchman: Four. Patrick: Three. Take it or leave it. Flying Dutchman: Okay...uhh, three. You get three wishes.","Wow! Three wishes, Pat. Isn't that great?"
"Patrick: Wishes? I wish we had known that earlier! Flying Dutchman: Okay, you got two wishes left.","Well, we still have two more. How exciting! I wish Squidward were here to see this!"
"Squidward: Boy, I'm glad all that's over! SpongeBob and Patrick: Squidward! You're back!","Guess what? The Dutchman gave us three wishes! Patrick used the first one, and I guess I...  just used the second one."
"Squidward: Well, then, the last one you owe me because you got me back into this mess! Patrick: Wait! I think it belongs to me!  Because I didn't really get a real wish, so why should you get a wish...","Well, that's not right because..."
"Flying Dutchman: That's enough! Using my mystic other-worldly powers, I shall decide who gets the last wish.  Eeny, meeny, miny, mo, catch a sailor by the toe, if he hollers, let him go, my mother told me to pick the very best one and... French Narrator: Ahh, another beautiful day in Bikini Bottom's own Jellyfish Fields. An untamed world of natural order where the little jellyfish jellies roam free across the salty seascape. And where there is jellyfish, there is the Jellyfish Hunter.","La la la la, la la la la la!  You're my twelfth catch of the day. I'm gonna call you Twelvey.  Coochie coochie coo!  Bye, Twelvey!  Oh! It's you!  Well, it's just you and me again, I've caught and named every jellyfish in Jellyfish Fields at least once. Except you, No Name."
No Name:,"Gotcha!  ...Barnacles, how'd he do that? Someday, I'll catch old No Name. I'm going on my lunch break, Mr. Krabs."
Mr. Krabs: You've got 5 minutes!,Wow! One more minute than yesterday! SpongeBob ready for lunch!   Yum!
"Fred:  Hey, buddy! What the heck is that?","Why, this is a hole, good sir. You see, I am a sponge, And we typically..."
Fred: Not that!  That!,It's just a little ol' Krabby Patty with Jellyfish Jelly! I call it a Krabby Patty with Jellyfish Jelly.
Fred: Could I try some?,Sure!
"Fred:  Amazing... I've got to tell someone about this! ♪Hey all you people! Hey all you people! Hey all you people, won't you listen to meeeeeee... I just had a sandwich, no ordinary sandwich, a sandwich filled with jellyfish jelly! Hey, man, you've got to try this sandwich, it's no ordinary sandwich, it's the tastiest sandwich in the sea. Ah de ba da ba doo ba da ba de ba da da. Yeahhhhh...  Thank you!♪ Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, who's playing Squidward's records again?","No one, Mr. Krabs. I was just sharing my jellyfish jelly with the customers.  Here you go, Mr. Krabs. Send your taste buds on a journey."
"Mr. Krabs:  Messing with the patty's formula, that's mutiny! Why I oughta...! Fred: Sir, this is the greatest thing I've ever eaten! I'm going to come back here for lunch everyday for the rest of my life!  Hey, buddy, you alright? Mr. Krabs:","You okay, Mr. K?"
"Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, I got a proposition for ye. How's about you go catch me some of those little moneyfish?","Oh, boy. Getting paid to jellyfish. That's my life's dream!"
"Mr. Krabs: Well, keep dreaming.  This'll be on your time.","Aye, aye, sir!"
"Mr. Krabs: Now go get me some jellyfish, and make it  ...quick. Uhh, SpongeBob? We're gonna need more than one puny jellyfish.","But, sir, how many jellyfish do you need?"
"Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, we have a whole ecosystem full of hungry paying customers.  Oh, no! Don't tell me! You've stopped caring for the customer!",No! Never!
Mr. Krabs:  Then go out there and get me some more jellies!,"Okay, Mr. Krabs. Just make sure the jellyfish are comfortable. They are oh, so sensitive."
"Mr. Krabs:   Oh, I'll keep 'em comfortable all right, inside me wallet!","Here you go, Mr. Krabs!"
"Mr. Krabs:  I'm gonna need more than that, boy.","More jellies, Mr. Krabs!"
"Mr. Krabs:  Oh, that'll never do. More! Mr. Krabs:  More, SpongeBob! Mr. Krabs: What don't you understand about... more?! Mr. Krabs: More!  More!  More!  More!  More...  MOAR.  MOAR, MOAR, MOAR, MOAR. MOAR, MOAR. MOAR!","Well, there's no more! Now, that's jellyfishing! It feels like somebody... WANTS TO SELL ME SOMETHING!"
Businessman:  I told you he was on to us.,"I'm not interested in anything you're selling!  I sure felt like...  I must be working too hard.  I'll get it, Gary! Hello, SpongeBob's house, SpongeBob speaking. Hello?"
No Name:,"Wrong number.  I guess Gary forgot to pay the electric bill!  Gary, is that you? Gary?  Uh, yeah, good idea, Gary, there's probably some candles in the kitchen.  Hello, what's this? What are you doing here, oh delicious one? A little snack will calm my nerves! Mmm... a Krabby Patty with blue jelly.  Blue jelly?!  Hey, old No Name? What's happening?"
No Name:,"No Name, let me out! What are you gonna do with me? Pee-yew! What smells like big business?  Hey, I don't remember that factory!  Huh?  What is this horrible place?"
Robot: Coochie coochie coo.,What kind of monster is responsible for this horror?
"Mr. Krabs: That's it, boys! Keep that gelatinous gold mine flowing!",Mr. Krabs? No! Now I know why you brought me here. But what can we do?
"Singer in the recording: ♪Give it all you got! Dance, dance, dance, get on it! Take it to the top...♪",Mr. Krabs! Stop this madness! Stop it right now!
"Mr. Krabs: Uh... uh... This... This isn't what it looks like, SpongeBob! Why... uh... We're just... uh... having a little tea party!","Oh, boy! A tea party!  You tricked me, Mr. Krabs! I wouldn't have collected all those jellyfish if I knew that this was their fate! This isn't right! Jellyfish need wide-open space and fresh air!"
"Mr. Krabs: Easy, boy, what are you doing with that?",Something that should've been done a LONG TIME AGO!
Mr. Krabs: NOO!,The squeaky bolt on this door was driving me crazy!
Mr. Krabs:  Whew!,"And now, I'm gonna set these jellyfish free!"
"Mr. Krabs:  Well, you can't. The door's voice-activated and will only open if I say open!",Freedom! FREEDOM!!!
Mr. Krabs: YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME!!!!  What?! Mr. Krabs: Blasted exercise craze...,"Goodbye, friends!"
Mr. Krabs:  I'm taking jelly off the menu.,"He really got burned on that deal!  All is as it should be.  I promise never to use this jellyfish net for anything but pure sport again. Jellyfish aren't meant to be captured forever!  Oh, No Name! I guess I can name you now. I'll call you... Friend. Hey, where's my alarm clock?"
Gary: Meow.,"Your shell is gone, too?"
Gary: Meow.,I think we've been robbed!
Gary: Meow! Squidward:  She's gone! My clarinet is missing!,"Hmm, strange indeed..."
"Patrick:  My cuff links! They're missing! Oh, why? Why?!",I hope this doesn't mean that we're missing the one thing that's nearest and dearest to our heart.
"Squidward: Nope, I'm right here.",The Krusty Krab!  Phew.
Squidward:,"Reporting to duty, Mr. Krabs! Mr. Krabs? Mr. Krabs? Mr. Krabs? Mr. Krabs? Mr. Krabs? Pearl? what are you doing here?"
"Pearl: Oh, nothing, SpongeBob. Just trying to juggle schoolwork, having a social life, and running a family business, that's all. Squidward: Drama queen.",Where's your dad?
"Pearl: I don't know. When I went to get my allowance this morning, he was gone.",Mr. Krabs is missing?
Squidward: I'm missing my clarinet.,...and Gary's shell.
"Patrick: Has anyone seen my cuff links?! Charles:  So, you lost your cuff links, eh? They're probably in the Bikini Bottom Triangle.",Bikini Bottom Triangle?
"Charles: That's right. First, an eerie fog rolls in,  then, you can hear the hypnotic song of the mermaids.  And then, poof, your cuff links are gone. Never to return...",The triangle must've taken Mr. Krabs! We gotta find him!
Squidward: Maybe Mr. Krabs is doing his morning dumpster dive for loose change.,"Mr. Krabs, are you out here?"
"Squidward: Oh, no, is that a mermaid song?","No, just a thick eerie fog."
Squidward: Uh-oh!,"Squidward. Come on, Squidward, quit messing around. We've gotta find Mr. Kra-  Hey, gumballs! ."
Squidward: Oh! This is the Bikini Bottom Triangle? Looks more like a dump.,"Come on, we've gotta find Mr. Krabs. The Krusty Krab needs him. Mr. Krabs?  Squidward, this is no time for seahorseplay!"
"Squidward: Oh, my neck.",Mr. Krabs!  Mr. Krabs!
Squidward: Would you shut it already?!,"Oh, Squidward, Mr. Krabs is gone. Oh, it hurts so bad! I can't take it much longer! I hope he's not in any pain...wherever he is."
Squidward: I think he's doing just fine.,Mr. Krabs! You've gotta get up! We gotta get out of here!
"Mr. Krabs: Ohh, okay, Tibor, I think I'm good. Tibor: Remember to drink plenty of fluids. Mr. Krabs: Look, SpongeBob, you see all this stuff, including you and me, are brought here when the mermaids sing their beautiful song. The mermaids' song triggers this here contrapteron, to suck the sky like a vacuum, dumpin' all the contents here on this island. That is how we ended up surrounded by all this valuable and resellable stuff!  Ooh. Yippee! A new shipment! Free stuff, here I- come?  Pretty neat, eh, boy?",Patrick!
Patrick: Have you found my cuff links?,"No.  Patrick, is that a Krabby Patty?"
"Patrick: Yep. Pearl doesn't make them as good as you do, though. Mr. Krabs: Pearl?  Oh, me sweet little girl, all alone, with me cash register! Pearl: Daddy! Mr. Krabs: Pearl! Pearl: Get me out of this trash heap! Mr. Krabs:  Oh, me little angel. Thanks, mysterious singing mermaids! Pearl: Enough with the hugging!","That's it, Mr. Krabs! I'll just find the mysterious singing mermaids and ask them how to get out of here!"
"Patrick: Wow, riding by piggy-back is exhausting.",You're telling me.
"Patrick: Whoa! Mermaid #1: I love this mirror, girls, but it is sooo ten minutes ago. Mermaid #2: Like, I couldn't agree with you more. Mermaid #3: Yeah, like, all this stuff is old news. Mermaid Leader: Shall we ladies? All mermaids: Patrick: Ah, excuse me, hi. Mermaid Leader: Umm, can I help you? Patrick:","Yes, mermaid ladies, you actually can help us."
Patrick:  Yeah...,"Yeah, we'd like to know how to get out of here, please."
"Mermaid Leader: Like, this is the Bikini Bottom Triangle. Nothing ever leaves. Duh.","Uhh, are you sure?"
"Mermaid Leader: Look, little freakazoid, we only know one thing, and that's how to surround ourself with cool new stuff whenever we feel like it, anything beyond that is T.N.O.P.",T-nop?
"Mermaid Leader: Uh, yeah. You know, Totally Not Our Problem.","Oh, T.N.O.P! Okay, well, thanks anyway. Come on, Patrick, let's go. Patrick?"
"Patrick:  You go ahead, SpongeBob. I think I'm gonna hang with the ladies for a bit. Mr. Krabs: Come on, come on, I know you're in there!  Ah-ha! Playing hard to get, weren't you, little one? Quarter: Little one? How dare you, sir!","Sir, I'm back. Unfortunately, I was unable to get the information from the-"
"Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob? SpongeBob, boy-o! SpongeBob, can you hear me? Pearl: Should we help? Squidward: He looks fine to me. Mr. Krabs: What's the matter, boy-o?  Your Krabby Patty meter's on empty! We've got to get a Krabby Patty into you quick or-  Please great vacuum cleaner, please just give us just one-  ...Krabby Patty.","Oh, yeah!! Wow, sir, that was the single best Krabby Patty I've ever eaten."
"Mr. Krabs: Why, thank you, boy-o. I'm glad you- Wait a minute, I didn't make that Krabby Patty, and you didn't make that Krabby Patty, and those two couldn't have made it, so it must have been that rotten pipsqueak Plankton! I've gotta stop that poor excuse for a life form from- So, how do we get out of here?","Well, sir, based on what the mermaids told me, there er... there is no way out."
"Mr. Krabs: Oh, really? Well, I think you don't know who to talk to the ladies.","Oh, sir, I-"
"Mr. Krabs: Look, boy, I've got a way with the ladies, and I guarantee the old Krabs charm will have 'em telling us exactly how to get out of this place.  So there's really no way out of this place? 'Cause I really need to get back to the Krusty Krab to stop my arch-nemesis from ruining me business. Mermaid Leader: T.N.O.P, Grandpa. Mr. Krabs: T-nop?",Totally Not Our Problem.
"Mermaid Leader: Oh, and P.S, here's your creepy pink friend back. Pearl: Daddy! Daddy! Mr. Krabs: Don't worry, Pearl, daddy's okay. Pearl: Can I go to the mall now? Mr. Krabs: The mall? But, Pearl- Pearl:  I wanna go to the mall! Mermaid Leader: Like, what's a mall? Pearl: Wait what? You seriously don't know what a mall is? Mermaid Leader: I am seriously serious. Pearl: Well, the mall is, like, only the most awesome place to get all the best, super-coolest, glittershly fabulous new stuff you want! Mermaid Leader: Really? Mermaid #3: No way! Mermaids #1, #2, and #4: We want to go to the mall! Mr. Krabs: Oh, do you? All Mermaids: Uh-huh! Mr. Krabs: Now, how do you propose we do that, huh? Wait, I know we just hit the magic reverse button on the giant vacuum cleaner.","That's it, sir! It's the mermaids!"
Mr. Krabs: It sure is- what?,The reverse switch is the mermaids! They just need to sing their song backwards.
"Mermaid Leader: Yeah! Backwards! Mr. Krabs: Yeah, backwards. What a stupid idea that- Pearl: You ready for the mall, girls? All Mermaids: Yeah! Mall! Mall! Mall! Mall! Squidward: Hello, miserable life, I'm back. Old Fish: And so are my dentures! Gray fish: Tibor! You're alive!","Isn't that great, Mr. Krabs? Everyone is reclaiming their stuff. Mr. Krabs?"
"Mr. Krabs: Speaking of reclaiming... alright Plankton, I know what you're up to, but the jigs up you little conniving pipsqueak! Huh? Charles: Actually, the name's Charles. Figured I'd hold down the fort for ya while you were gone. Mr. Krabs: So, you've been the one making me Krabby Patties? Charles: Yep. All me. Oh, and by the way, you've got a little vermin problem. Plankton:  Vermin? You take that back! Charles: He's a feisty one... Patrick: Hey! I found my cuff links!  That's better. Good day, gentlemen. Patrick: Home, Reginald.","Patrick! You dropped your cummerbund! ♪Ooooooooo-oooooooohhh-woh-woooh, how much chum could a sea slug chug if a sea slug could chug...♪  Mr. Krabs, you gotta get out here! It's a code blue situation!"
Mr. Krabs: Please deposit 25 cents to continue this call.,"Sure thing, Mr. K.  Mr. Krabs, you gotta get out here! It's a code blue situation!"
"Mr. Krabs: Code blue?!  What's the matter, boy?",I think Plankton wants to destroy our way of life!
"Mr. Krabs: Man alive!  He's taking us down! Plankton:  Get ready, Krabs,  for the surprise of your life! Mr. Krabs: Brace yourself!  Huh?  Plankton's destroying the Chum Bucket? Heh, heh, I guess he's finally given up on the restaurant business. Couldn't take the competition.  What is that? Plankton: Greetings, citizens of Bikini Bottom! Behold my imperial Chum Coliseum!  I vow to introduce to this fair city culture, in the form of hand to hand grappling!  I intend to enrich your lives culturally, by exhibiting the moist spectacle of gladiators in mortal conflict!  My corporate underwriters told me to mention that it's free!  Come on! Come all! Remember, kids love gladiators. Debbie: Wow! Real-life conflict, for free? Nathiel: Let the horror show begin! Plankton:  Oh, Karen, even though you're just a frigid machine, your circuits must be welling up with emotion at my latest achievement. Karen: Oh, yes, my resisters are simply gushing from their copper foil traces. Plankton: This will prove to be my greatest evil scheme ever! Karen: That's what you said when you tried to boil Krabs in a giant bisque. Plankton: I can still feel the burns... which is why I removed all molten liquid from this maneuver. And it's why this time, I will be the one with all the customers. And Krabs will be the pathetic one, in an empty restaurant, stuck with a computer for a wife!  Uh, sorry, honey.","Wow, looks like Plankton finally has some customers!"
"Mr. Krabs: I agree, it's very suspicious. And he may have lured a few of our fair-weather customers in with some cheap entertainment, but our loyal customers know quality when they taste it! So let's get in there and serve 'em up a burger they tell their grand-guppies about!  Where's all me loyal customers?! Squidward: They've all taken their grand-guppies to see the guts and gore across the street. Mr. Krabs: That lower life form can slender my name, and desecrate me mother's grave... Mama Krabs: I'm right here! Mr. Krabs: ...but when he steals me customers, then I push back! Gentlemen, to the coliseum!  This reeks of evil. And I'm going to sniff out the source. Plankton: Welcome, one and all, to the first biannual big arena of annihilation!",Whoo!
"Plankton: Brought to you by yours truly. So without further ado, let the mauling begin! Scooter: All right!","Yay!  Whoo! Isn't this a boat load of fun, Squidward? I can't wait to see the poor sucker who has to go up against that beast!"
"Squidward: You call this fun? This is just cheap, uncultured lay sport. Plankton: Now, release the opponent!",Yes! Go!  Patrick?! How could they?! This is horrible!
"Squidward: This is fabulous! Plankton: Enough dilly-dallying. Send out the blood sausages! Patrick: All right! Plankton: That pink dimwit doesn't stand a chance with those sausages around his throat! As soon as the smell of sausage hits that ravenous lionfish's nostrils, he'll be all over Patrick like mold on a shower curtain! Sally: Rip his sausages off! Patrick: Ohh. Nice kitty.  Here, kitty. Want a sausage? A nice, delicious, tasty... sausage.  Spawn of a gefilte fish!",I can't sit here and watch this! That's my best friend out there!  Patrick!
"Patrick: What? Oh! Oh, it's you! Hey, how's it going, buddy?","No time for chitchat, get in!  Hurry up, Nelly!"
"Nat: Boo! Mama Krabs: Boring!  I want to see some body parts! Mr. Krabs: Mom! Plankton: This is ridiculous! I order a simple brutal mauling for my denizens, and I get a circus act! Time for phase 2!  Chum on a stick! Get your fresh chum right here! Some chum for you, miss? Sadie: Well, all this waiting around for someone to get mauled is making me a bit hungry. Plankton: Here, take this one. It's fresh and warm, like my hospitality. Sadie: Why, thank you. Plankton: Just ten dollars, please. Sadie: Ten dollars?! Why would I pay ten dollars, when I can go across the street and get a Krabby Patty for one dollar? Mr. Krabs: Exactly! Plankton: You don't get this kind of entertainment with a Krabby Patty, do you? Sadie: No, I suppose not. Plankton: Ten dollars, or the fight's off! Sadie: Ah, fine! Whatever. Plankton: Here you are. I'm sure I've made a satisfied customer of you already. Sadie: That was appalling! What was in that?! Plankton: Oh, just the usual ingredients. Some jellyfish squeezings, whale blubber, sea horse snout, and a sprinkle of anchor rust. Sadie:  Oh, barnacles! That's foul! Plankton: Now, I've been waiting for 20 years to have the amount of customers Krabs sees every day! And I won't let that be ruined because the show's boring, or the food's inedible. So sit down, enjoy the show, and buy some chum!","What do we do now, Patrick?"
"Patrick: Don't worry, I'm already doing it.","NO!  Patrick, now is not the time for eating, now is the time to avoid being eaten by that giant... Huh?  That's it, Patrick! He's not chasing us. He's chasing those tasty, tender, delicious, succulent sausages around your neck!"
"Plankton: Chum on a stick! Get your chum!  What the?  Oh, great! Now how am I going to entertain the masses?  Hey, watch where you're...  Oh, dear!  Phew. Good thing I thought ahead with that escape door. Try and catch me now, you prissy feline!  No! Nice kitty! Want some chum? Mr. Krabs: You know, I'm not one to give out comments lightly. I've gotta hand it to you, boy,  if you didn't throw those sausages into the audience, we would have been dead meat!","My pleasure, Captain!"
"Patrick: Yeah, thanks, buddy! You really saved my behind! No joke! Mr. Krabs: I think that it's safe to say that no matter how diabolical Plankton's plans may be, he'll never have the loyalty of me good customers. Wobbles: One Krabby Patty, please. Mr. Krabs: But of course, my good customer. That'll be ten dollars. Wobbles: Ten dollars? What happened to one dollar? Mr. Krabs: Ahem, perhaps you'd like to speak to our financial expert. Wobbles:  Stupid inflation. Mr. Krabs: Thanks for your business. Fish:  Hey!  Hey, you there! Patrick: Uh, me? Fish: Yes, you!  Get outta town!  Get outta town! And take a vacation to beautiful Sunny Seashores Resort.  Here ya go, sir. Patrick: I gotta get out of town!  Oh, thanks, SpongeBob.","Sure, Patrick, ya..."
Patrick: I gotta get going! He told me to!,Who did?
"Patrick: Uhh, well, uhh... hmmm, I'm not sure. But he had a briefcase.","Ahh, a briefcase?! He might be a paid assassin!  But, Patrick, you can't go! Not like this! Who will go with me to the next jellyfisherman's expo?!"
Patrick: It'll have to be one of your other chums 'cause my mind is set.,"Unset it, please unset it!"
Patrick: I guess I'll pack up my stuff and get ready to go.  My clothes.,"Umm, Patrick, those are my clothes."
Patrick:  My peanut butter!,That's my peanut butter.
Patrick: And my pickles!,"I can't believe you're leaving, Patrick.  WITH ALL MY PICKLES!!!!"
Patrick:   It's the end of me being here.,"Wait! Stop! What about all our plans?  8:00am - Wake up Patrick, 9:00am - Eat Kelpo with Patrick, 10:00am - Brush teeth with Patrick, 1:00pm - Stare at Patrick. Who's gonna do all that with me?"
"Patrick: I'm sorry, there's no stopping the unstoppable. Patrick Star will live no more, forever... in Bikini Bottom.",But... what if you weren't Patrick Star?
"Patrick: Oh, no. I'm not Patrick Star?","You are Patrick Star, but you won't be for long."
Patrick: Huh?,"There ya go, Patrick. No one will know it's you.  Patrick, you okay?"
"Larry: Hey guys! Yo, Patrick, cool shades.","Well, Pat, that disguise didn't work. We're gonna have to try harder."
"Patrick:  Yeah, well, thanks ol' SpongeBob for your help. It was a noble effort but alas, all in vain, it's no use. I must leave.  Goodbye rock. Goodbye coral.  YOW!  Goodbye seaweed.",Too bad we couldn't come up with a better costume.  Hmmm...
Patrick: Goodbye sky.,"That's it. With the seaweed on your head, you could be a..."
"Patrick: Oh, I know, I know! I could be Mr. Seaweed Monsterman. And live happily forever after in Bikini Bottom.","Patrick, there already is a Mr. Seaweed Monsterman."
Seaweed Monsterman: Hey! Patrick: Darn!,"It's okay, Patrick. So you can't be a monster. But that vegetation on your head gives me an idea of what you can be.  You're all set. Come on out, Patrick."
"Fish #2: Hi, SpongeBob. And hello, lady.","The disguise is working, Patrick... I mean, Patricia."
"Larry: SpongeBob, you never told me you had a girlfriend. Patrick: Oh, I'm not his girlfriend. I'm Pat...",...tricia. Pat-ricia. Patricia!
"Larry: Bro, your girlfriend is not ugly.","Actually, Larry, she's not my girlfriend, she's just a..."
"Larry: It's cool, buddy. You don't have to explain your girlfriend to me.",But she's not my girlfriend.
Larry: I don't know why you're standing here talking to me when you could be talking to your girlfriend.,"C'mon, Patricia."
"Patricia: Bye. Larry: Congratulations on the new girlfriend, dude! Mr. Krabs:  SpongeBob! This is not the time for Sunday Stroll. It's time for work.","But, Mr. Krabs, the Krusty Krab doesn't open for another two hours."
"Mr. Krabs:  There be no such thing as opening too early, me boy. Excuse us, miss. Huh?  SpongeBob, who's your friend?","Mr. Krabs, this is Patricia."
"Mr. Krabs:  Patricia. The most beautiful sound I've ever seen. SpongeBob, do we need any more help down at the Krusty Krab?",No.
"Mr. Krabs: We do? Great, she can start right away. Squidward: He-  And who are you, my rubenesque beauty? Mr. Krabs: That's Patricia, our newest Krusty Krab employee. Squidward: Well, she sure is stunning. Mr. Krabs:  Just keep your eyes on the customers, Mr. Squidward. Squidward: Hi, Patricia. I drew this for you.  Likeness is uncanny, if I do say so myself. Patricia: Uhh, thank you, Squidward. Mr. Krabs: Order up, Miss Patricia. Patricia: Excuse me, Squidward. Mr. Krabs:  This order goes to table 7 and remember your manners. Patricia:  Forty... thirty... Mr. Krabs: That's a 7, Patricia. Patricia: Mr. Krabs, you ordered two Krusty meals? Mr. Krabs:  Did I order two meals? Oh, silly me. I can't possibly eat two Krusty meals, myself.  I guess you'll just have to help me finish all this food. Patricia: Okay. Mr. Krabs: Patricia, we may have only known each other for a short time, now, but I feel like a special connection has been made. Patricia:","Quite an appetite, but she's all woman."
"Squidward: Eh? Ya know, Patricia, they don't call me the 'Sizzle Lips Squid' for nothing.  So, are you free this Saturday night? Patricia: No, that's the night SpongeBob and I are having a staring contest. Squidward: SpongeBob?! Mr. Krabs:  Get back to work, you gold-bricking freeloader. Hut two, hut two, yah, yah! And don't come back 'til all the patties are krabby.  Well, now that we're alone, how would you like to be my date Friday night to a... Patricia: Well, I can't. SpongeBob and I will be flying submarines that night. I have to get back to Krusting the Krab.  Man, why are those two so nice to me? They were never this nice to Patrick. It's weird. Squidward: Are you sure about Saturday night? Patricia: Persistent bunch. Mr. Krabs: How about Sunday brunch? Patricia: No thanks, again! Squidward: But I made reservations for two at... Patricia: I said no.  No.  No way.  No.  No.  NO!  What is it about me that makes those two so friendly? It must have something to do with this disguise. I can't wear this any longer.","But if you reveal your secret identity, you'll have to leave Bikini Bottom!"
"Patricia: Well, I'm sorry, SpongeBob. I just can't live like this anymore. I'm tired of pretending to be someone I'm not. Fancy Fish: The lovely Patricia  has returned to us! Patricia: I have an announcement to make. The entire day that I've worked here I've wanted to say...  Um-um-um-uh...  I've wanted to say that, uhh, th-that...  That I will eat any leftovers on your plate! Customers: Huh? Sunny Seashores Salesfish: Ahoy, waitress, aren't you gonna take my order? Patricia: I'll be right there, sir.","What's the matter, Patrick?"
Patricia: That's the guy with the briefcase. The guy who's trying to run me out of town.,The assassin!
"Patricia:  What can I get you, sir? Sunny Seashores Salesfish: Say, don't I know you from somewhere? Patricia: No! Sunny Seashores Salesfish: Hmmm... that's it! Get outta town! Patricia: He's onto us.",I won't let you do it. You'll have to do something horrible to me before I let you throw Patrick out of town.
Squidward & Mr. Krabs: Patrick?! Sunny Seashores Salesfish: You forgot your flyer.,"Get outta town! To beautiful Sunny Seashores Resort. Look, this guy wasn't trying to run you out of town, he just wanted to sell you a luxury vacation at a modest price."
"Patrick: Well, I guess I don't need this disguise anymore. Squidward: Umm, I think I need to take a shower. Mr. Krabs: So, let me get this straight, uh, you're not a woman? Patrick: No. Mr. Krabs: Well then, you're fired. Uhh, if anybody needs me, I'll be in my office for, I dunno, the next 20 years or so.","Hey, buddy, what do you say we go home and get started on this list?"
Patrick and SpongeBob: Yaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhoooooooo! Mr. Krabs: Ah-ah-achoo!  36 days without a customer. Dave:  So... hungry...,"Ah! Mr. Krabs, a customer!"
"Mr. Krabs: Ah! Dave: No food... 3 days... Mr. Krabs: Hold on, me bucko! Food's on the way!  Uhh... You got money, right? Dave: Yeah... Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob! Bring this guy some grub before he keels over!","Here you go, sir."
"Dave: Oh. Krabby Patties, huh? Mr. Krabs: Finest under the sea! Dave: Yeah, yeah, sure. But where's the pizzazz? Mr. Krabs: Huh? Dave: I mean look at this place.  I mean... what is the theme here? Underwater? It's boring.  Foooood... water... atmosphere... Mr. Krabs: Nobody goes to a restaurant for atmosphere.  They go for food! Fred: Hey, Tom! Tom: Fred! Hey, you wanna eat at the Krusty Krab? Fred: Nah. Let's go to the Shell Shack. They've got a talking dog! Tom:  Great! Say, what's a dog? Mr. Krabs:  Money walking! I need to think up a gimmick like that to bring people back in here!",I have an idea!
"Mr. Krabs: Wait! I've got an idea!  ...And so ladies and gentlemen, be sure to buy plenty of Krabby Patties as I bury myself alive!  No free refills. Fred: Hey, everyone, listen!  The talking dog at the Shell Shack is SINGING!!! Come on!","Mr. Krabs, I have an idea!"
"Mr. Krabs: What am I going to do? If I don't find an idea, I'll go out of business!","Mr. Krabs, I have an idea!"
Mr. Krabs: Why can't someone give me an idea?,"Mr. Krabs, I have an idea!"
"Mr. Krabs:  Great Neptune in Heaven, I need an idea!!! Angel SpongeBob:  Mr. KraaAAaaaAAAbbs! I haAave an ideeeaaaaAAaa! Mr. Krabs:  What in the name of money are you waiting for, boy? Tell me!","OK. Mr. Krabs, Prepare yourself. Don't bother sitting down, because you'll just stand up when you see this!  Ta-da!"
Mr. Krabs: Great Barrier Reef! That patty's spoiled!,"Mr. Krabs, it's not tainted meat. It's painted meat  Pretty Patties! Available in 6 designer colors."
"Mr. Krabs: Mr. Squidward! Come look! Mr. Krabs:  Don't that look appetizing? Squidward: Mmm, mmm!!! Good, sir! Mr. Krabs: Wait! Gimme an orange patty... with extra purple! Mr. Krabs: What's next?  Sequin milkshakes? Squidward:  Bow-tie French fries?","No. Stop it!  I know this is a good idea. I'll show you! I'll... I'll... I'll open my own restaurant!  You'll see! Hey, Patrick, are you angry, too!?"
Patrick: Yeah!,What's the matter?
Patrick: I can't see my forehead. What's your problem?,"I have a good idea, and no one else thinks so."
Patrick:  Me too.  Inflatable pants! What's your idea?,I'm gonna open up a restaurant and sell Pretty Patties!
"Patrick:  Forget my dumb idea, that's great!","Are you ready for the big rush, Patrick?  Pretty soon those hungry customers will be lining up, because we are open.  I'm ready!  I'm ready.  I'm ready...  Patrick! How long have we been standing here?!?"
Patrick:  Uhh... I gotta draw a new battery for this!,What if Mr. Krabs was right? Maybe my idea is dumb.
"Patrick: SpongeBob, sometimes, we have to go deep inside ourselves to solve our problems.",I'm scared.
Patrick: Then I'm going in for you! Patrick: Sorry. Stupid inflatable pants!,Did you find anything?
"Patrick: Huh? Harold:  Hey, do you sell food here?","Yes, sir! We sell Pretty Patties!"
Harold: That thing's green!  Green! Patrick:  Green.,Mr. Krabs was right! What am I going to do with all these?
"Harold:  Hey, is that one purple? Purple is my favorite color!  This isn't half bad! Hey, world! Pretty Patties is the best idea ever! Rick's Wife:  Oh, Rick, how could you? Together we were one. Rick:  That was before. But now, I'm splitting us up. Johnny: We interrupt this program to bring you a special news announcement! This wild crowd behind me is screaming for Bikini Bottom's latest culinary sensation. Let's take a listen. All:  Pretty Patties! Pretty Patties! Mr. Krabs: Pretty Patties? Johnny: It's easy to see Pretty Patties are popular, but what is it about them that drives Bikini Bottom feeders wild? Millie, Sadie , and Evelyn:  They match our purses! Scottish Man:  They remind me of home. Larry: Pretty Patties rule! Johnny: Mr. SquarePants, how do you explain all this success?",Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... I don't know.
Mr. Krabs: How can you make money with such a stupid idea? Johnny:  And how can you not make money with such a brilliant idea?,"At first we didn't know what to do with all the money. We tried burying it...  ...shredding it...  ...and burning it!  But in the end, we decided just to give it all away."
"Patrick: Come again, sir! Nathiel: I'm getting back in line! Mr. Krabs: I don't believe it!  I've got to see this for me self! Sandals: Hey Watch it, buddy. I don't care how much you want your Pretty Patty. You're gonna have to wait in line  like the rest of us. Mr. Krabs: I've never had a line.","Who's #46,853?"
"Mr. Krabs:  I never had 46,853 customers.","Here you are, sir. Stay pretty.  All right.  Mr. Krabs is that you? Isn't this great, Mr. Krabs?  The Pretty Patties are a big hit."
"Mr. Krabs: They sure are, boy. You're doing pretty well for yourself. I guess you've completely forgotten the Krusty Krab.","No, sir, I haven't. Sometimes I really miss the old days back at the Krusty Krab."
Mr. Krabs:  I bet you miss Squidward... and the grill. And the crow's nest.,"Yeah. Yeah! But do you know what I miss the most, Mr. Krabs?  That tiny squeaking sound you get when you rub two pickles together. You know what I mean, Mr. Krabs?"
"Mr. Krabs: Uhh... Yes. Yes, I do, lad. Well, the Krusty Krab's only a short walk away. Why don't you head on down. For old time's sake.","Oh, I can't leave, Mr. Krabs. What about the stand?"
"Mr. Krabs: Don't worry, lad. I'll watch the stand for ye.",You will?
"Mr. Krabs: No, I've got a better idea! I'll take this old roadside stand off your hands- for keeps! An in exchange, I'll give ya the Krusty Krab! With Squidward, the grill, and all those squeaky pickles!","What did you say, Mr. Krabs?"
Mr. Krabs: Here's the key to the Krusty Krab.  She's yours now.,"Thank... you... what should I do now, Mr. Krabs?"
"Mr. Krabs: Run to her, boy. She's waiting for ya.","I can't feel my legs, Mr. Krabs."
"Mr. Krabs: Don't worry, boy! I'll fix it!  Get this to the Krusty Krab on the double! Good luck, lad!",Dreams do come true!
"Mr. Krabs: Ladies and gentlemen! Pretty Patties is now under new management!  Who's next? Mr. Krabs: I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready...For me money.  Welcome to Pretty Patties. May I take your money? Franco:  We want a refund, Krabs. Mr. Krabs:  Who, huh, What? Gus: Your dumb Pretty Patties turned my  face purple! Scottish Man:  Look what I got under my kilt! Clay, John, and Frank: And look at our tongues! Mr. Krabs:  What's wrong with you? Frank:  We want our money back. All 46,853 of us. Harold: Hey, where'd he go? Crowd: Get him! Mr. Krabs:  Oof!  My key!  Where's my key?!  SpongeBob!  SpongeBob, let me in!  SpongeBob! SpongeBob!  SpongeBob! Let me in!  SpongeBob! French Narrator: Ah, the sea... so fascinating. So wonderful. Here, we see Bikini Bottom, teeming with life.  Home to one of my favorite creatures, SpongeBob SquarePants. Yes, of course he lives in a pineapple, you silly. SpongeBob SquarePants: Today's the big day, Gary! Gary the Snail: Meow.","Look at me, I'm...  ...naked!  Gotta be in top physical condition for today, Gary."
Gary: Meow.,"I'm ready!!!  I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready!"
"Patrick Star: Go, SpongeBob!  Whoa! SpongeBob (1997 Version): I'm ready! I'm ready! Narrator (1997 Version) : SpongeBob SquarePants!","There it is. The finest eating establishment ever established for eating: The Krusty Krab, home of the Krabby Patty... with a Help Wanted sign in the window. For years I've been dreaming of this moment. I'm gonna go in there, march straight to the manager, look 'im straight in the eye , lay it on the line and... I can't do this!  Hey, Patrick-"
Patrick: Where do you think you're going?,I was just...
"Patrick: No, you're not. You're going to the Krusty Krab and get! That! Job!","I can't, don't you see? I'm not good enough."
Patrick: Whose first words were May I take your order??,Mine were.
Patrick: Who made a spatula out of toothpicks in wood shop?,I did.
"Patrick:  Who's a, uh, who's uhh, oh! And who's the big yellow cube with holes?",I am!
Patrick: Who's ready?,I'm ready!
Patrick: Who's ready?,I'm ready!
Patrick: Who's ready?!,I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready!
"Squidward Tentacles:  Oh no, SpongeBob. What could he possibly want?","I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! Go, SpongeBob! Go, SpongeBob! Go, SpongeBob! Go, self!"
"Squidward:  Mr. Krabs!  Hurry, Mr. Krabs, before it's too late, I gotta tell you-","Permission to come aboard, captain.  I've been training my whole life for the day I could join the Krusty Krew  and now I'm ready.  So, uh, when do I start?"
"Eugene H. Krabs: Well, lad, it looks like you don't even have your sea legs.","Mr. Krabs, please. I'll prove I'm fry cook material. Ask Squidward, he'll vouch for me."
"Squidward:  No. Mr. Krabs: Well, lad, we'll give you a test, and if you pass, you'll be on the Krusty Krew. Go out and fetch me...  a, uh, hydrodynamic spatula...  with, um, port-and-starboard-attachments,  and, uh... turbo drive.  And don't come back ‘til you get one.","Aye aye, captain!  One hydrodynamic spatula, with port-and-starboard attachments, turbo drive, coming right up, Sir!"
"Mr. Krabs: Carry on!  We'll never see that lubber again. Squidward: You're terrible. A hydro-what? Bus driver: Hey! Hey! Please! Passengers are to stay seated and not put their fins out the window! Mr. Krabs:  That sounded like hatch doors!  Do you smell it? That smell... A kind of smelly smell... A smelly smell that smells... smelly...  Anchovies. Squidward: What? Mr. Krabs: Anchovies!! Squidward: Please, please, quiet!  Is this any way to behave, hmmm? Anchovy: Meep. Squidward: Could we show a little decency and form a neat, single file line in front of the register?","♪ Barg'N-Mart, meeting all of your spatula needs. ♪"
"Mr. Krabs: All hands on deck! Get your anchors out of your pants! Squidward: One single file line was all I asked! Mr. Krabs: Whoa!   Batten down the hatches, Mr. Squidward!  We're taking on water, Mr. Squidward!  I want my mommy, Mr. Squidward!","♪ Do do do do do do, spatula, spatula, port-and-starboard attachments. ♪"
"Squidward: Help! Mr. Krabs: Man overboard! Climb, Mr. Squidward! Climb! Anchovies: Meep! Meep! Mr. Krabs: This is the end! Goodbye, Mr. Squidward! Squidward: Oh, Mr. Krabs!",Permission to come aboard captain! Da da da da da da da! Da da da da da da da da da da! Did someone order a spatula?
Squidward and Mr. Krabs:,That's right! One hydrodynamic spatula with  port-and-starboard attachments! And let's not forget the turbo drive!  Would you believe they only had one in stock? To the kitchen!  Who's hungry?!
"Mr. Krabs: That was the finest fast-foodsmanship I've ever seen, Mr. SquarePants. Welcome aboard. Squidward: B-but, but, Mr. Krabs... Mr. Krabs: Three cheers for SpongeBob! Hip-hip! Squidward:  Hooray, Mr.- Mr. Krabs: Hip-hip! Squidward:  Hooray. Mr. Krabs: Hip-hip! Squidward:  Hooray. Mr. Krabs- Mr. Krabs: I'll be in my quarters, counting up the booty. Patrick: Good morning, Krusty Krew! Squidward: What would you like to order, Patrick? Patrick: One Krabby Patty, please. Patrick: Squidward: Mr. Krabs! Mr. Krabs!  Mr. Krabs, come see your new employee...!","Hi, Squidward! What'cha watchin'?"
"News Reporter: We'll be right back. SpongeBob': Oh, it's a commercial. Commercial: They're new! They're...Snail Bites!",Ooh.
"Squidward: Here, I'll change the channel.",Don't change the channel!
Commercial:  Snail Bites.  Snail Bites! Male fish in commercial: Snail Bites. Female fish in commercial: Snail Bites.  Snail Bites. Male fish in commercial:  Snail Bites. Commercial: Snail Bites. Female fish in commercial: Snail Bites. Male fish in commercial:  Snail Bites. Commercial: They're new. Snail Bites! Female fish in commercial:  Snail Bites. Commercial:  Snail Bites! Female and male fish in commercial: Your snail will go nuts for Snail Bites... and so will you. Commercial:  Snail Bites.,"Did you see that, Squidward?  Snail Bites. Gary, I'm home!  Oh, Gary! You've got a big surprise coming to you."
Gary: Meow.,Snail Bites.
Gary: Meow.,It smells good?
Gary:  Meow!,Does somebody want another Snail Bite?  Can somebody roll over?  Roll over. We'll have some more of these a little later.
Gary: Meow.,More treats?
"Gary: Meow, meow, meow!","Well, I can't say no to my wittle Garebear."
"Gary: Meow, meow, meow, meow!","Gary, that's an awful lot of Snail Bites for one evening. Are you sure you want more?  Well, I suppose one more couldn't hurt.  Whoops, looks like that was the last of them Gary. We're all out.  It's probably for the best.  I'm getting pretty tired anyway. I think I'll skip my nightly motivational exercise and go to straight to bed."
"Gary: Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow! Gary:  Meow, meow, meow, meow!","Gary, please!"
"Gary: Meow, meow, meow!","Gary Wilson, Jr., I promise you we will get more treats tomorrow! Now, please, let me  sleep."
"Gary: Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow!  Meow! Meow! Meow! Meow! Meow!",Gary! It is 4:00 in the morning! What exactly do you want from me?!
Gary: Meow.,"Gary, this is ridiculous! See? The pet store won't be open for hours.  Not to mention it's freezing out here! Can't we just go home and come back in the morning?"
Gary: Meow.,"I just can't say no to my little Garebear.  Good night, Gary.  See ya in the morning! Excuse me!"
Harold: Please! I'm just the floor manager! The cashier won't be here for another hour!,Do you have any Snail Bites? We need some Snail Bites.
"Gary: Meow! Harold: Oh, You mean, the box of Snail Bites?","Yes, sir!"
"Harold: Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! Those sold out almost immediately! Gary:  Meow!","Ok, Gary, I'm off to the Krusty Krab!  Hope your day is as fun-filled as mine! Whoa! Gary?!  Yes, so, I will see you tonight, Gary.  Gary, is that a box of Snail Bites in your teeth? He, he. That's funny, because I think I just saw a half-full box in the kitchen."
"Gary: Meow! Abigail-Marge: Normally, I'm so shy, but... Gary: Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow!","Gary, what are you doing here? You're causing a scene!"
Gary: Meow!,"I know, you want more Snail Bites. But the pet store was completely sold out of them!"
Gary: Meow!,"I know, Gary..."
Gary: Meow!,"Gary, I just said the pet store was completely sold out of Snail Bites! What am I supposed to do?"
"Nat Peterson: Well, you can try going to the factory where they make them.",Thanks a lot.  You're what?!
"Factory Worker: We're closed! Do I have to spell it out for you? C-S-L-O-S-Z-E-D. Cuh-losed! Not only that, but the very last box of Snail Bites shipped out days ago! They were such a hit they flew out of the stores and now, we've run out of ingredients! From what I hear, the owner even dropped out of the pet food business entirely! Yeah, I mean, why wouldn't he, huh? He's made his money!","You see, Gary? There are no more--"
"Factory Worker: I mean, it's not like I wouldn't do the same thing if I were in his shoes!","So, you see, Gary, there..."
"Factory Worker: Why would anybody go around punishing themselves, just for the sake of the happiness of a few pets or...","Would you mind being quiet for one second, please!"
Factory Worker: Sorry.,"Gary, they're completely sold out. There are no more Snail Bites left in the entire world and there never will be!"
Gary: Meow!,"What. Do. You. Want. Me. To. Do. Gary?!  Travel the Earth, checking every pet store in existence to see if they happen to have a box of Snail Bites left? Is that what you want?!"
"Gary: Meow! Gary: Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow!","Gary, take a look at this map.  This is a map of every pet store in the entire world! We've been to every single one of them, Gary! And not one of them has the treats you are after! Not one! I can't keep looking, Gary. I just can't."
"Gary: Meow, meow, meow!  Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow! Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob! Your snail's still meowing? I have experience with these situations. You're the sponge. He is the snail. You just have to say no in a very firm voice!",But I don't want to say no to my wittle Gare-Bear! I want him to be happy!
"Patrick: Well, you gotta be firm, SpongeBob! Sometimes, you have to no when to say know. Oh, wait, wait, wait, it's the other way around. You have to know when to say no. Yeah, that's it!","But I don't know how to say no, Patrick!"
"Patrick: No problem, SpongeBob! You can practice on me! Pretend I'm Gary and tell me no.",I can't! You're so cute!
"Patrick:  Do it, SpongeBob!  Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it!",No!
"Patrick: Stop it! Gary: Meow, meow, meow, meow!","Gary, this won't be easy, but the time has come when I must say nee, nn... Oh, Gary, It's a photo, it's a framed photo of the moment I picked you up at the pound!  I remember that day like it was yesterday. Oh, and a photo of the time you built me a castle made of glitter and lollipops.  Gary, this is the most special-- Oh! Nice try, Gary."
Gary: Meow!,"Gare-Bear, we looked everywhere! There are no more Snail Bites. I'm sorry, Gary, but the answer is... no. Come on, stovie, pop that corn!  Get ready, Gary.  Incoming!"
Gary: Meow.,Popcorn is served!
"Medley: That, bro, is trouble at any car wash. TV Announcer: We will return to Bikini Bottom Car Wash after these messages. Commercial Announcer: Are you boring? Charlie: Yes, yes I am. Commercial Announcer: When friends describe you, do they use words like...  dull! or drab!? Charlie:  Don't forget platitudinous. Commercial Announcer: Yes, that too, Charlie. But what if I told you that you can change all that with the magic of... magic! Charlie:  I look like some kind of magician. Now people won't ignore me. Commercial Announcer: Let's hope not, Charlie. With my Mister Magic Magical Magic Kit, even you can impress and amaze your friends.",I want to impress and amaze my friends!
"Commercial Announcer: Just send $19.95 to me, Mister Magic. Narrator: 4 to 6 weeks later... Mailman: One magic kit and another one of these yellow things.","Here it is: Mister Magic's Magical Magic Kit.  Look at all this! A book of spells, my very own wand of whimsy, the beard of Rasputin, and, of course, the all-important license to practice magic.  Squidward! He'll appreciate my newly delivered skill."
"Squidward: Brine soda, low-fast seaweed crisps, cool jazz.  Mm, mm, Squidward you have done it. You have officially spoiled yourself rotten.","Well, let the rotting continue, friend, while I impress and amaze you with...magic!"
"Squidward: Magic? Can you make yourself disappear, SpongeBob?","Silly Squidward. I won't learn vanishing spells until I become a level 10 wizard.  No, I better start with something simpler.  Say card conjuring.  Here, hold this simple, playing card while I transform it into a magic playing card before your very eyes. Let's see...  step 1..."
Squidward:  This can't possibly end soon.,"Which brings us to... step three. Juggle something. Well, if you insist, Mister Magic."
"Squidward:  I don't care where I'm going, just take me away from here.",Then take one card and shove it in your ear.
Monroe: But I don't like pistachio! Tom: Then why did you ask for it?,"And finally, say the words Hobris-Pobris.  Squidward! My simple card-trick has turned you into an ice cream cone. Which means... I am a level ten wizard! I suppose I should change you back to squid form.  Presto!  Uh, let's see. Umm... A-ha! Alakazam!  Abracadabra.  Okilee-dokilee. Hobra-cobra. Oh! Open sesame. Change-o back-o to Squidward-o, please-o? Oh, I am so sorry, Squidward.  I've transformed you into a delicious dairy dessert and I can't change you back! There, there, Squidward. There is no need to cry. I promise you will continue your normal life despite the fact that you are now edible.  Whoa-oh!  Squidward! Speak to me! Speak!  Hey, Squid, are you okay?  Hey, Squid, are you still okay?  Hey, Squidward, I got something for ya! Someone to keep you company in that drab ol' freezer.  Oh, aren't they cute? I promise to stand by as an eternal guard over my buddy."
"Patrick: Hi, SpongeBob, whatcha doing?",I have turned poor Squidward into a frozen dessert.
Patrick: That's awful. How tragic. Poor Squidward.,It's all my fault.
Patrick: Did you say frozen dessert?,Yeah. I turned him into a tasty soft-serve with a waffle cone.
Patrick: Oh...soft serve.,Patrick! Stop eating Squidward!
"Patrick: Oh, sorry.",Patrick!  Pat...!
Patrick: But he's so tasty!,"Look, Patrick! Don't you understand!?  This isn't just your ordinary ice cream cone."
Patrick: It's pistachio.,"No! It's Squidward!  And no matter what happens, I promised him that I would watch over him to ensure his soft, frozen life is unchanged.  Patrick! Squidward has melted! Quick, call the police. What am I going to do?! Oh, Neptune, it's all my fault! What have I done?! What have I done?!  It's all your fault!  Curse you, Mister Magic's Magical Magic Kit! Curse you! Hey, that's it! That's the answer to our problems!"
Patrick:  Warning: From ages 9 to 99.,"No, Patrick, the one mystic being that can help us: Mister Magic!  Just follow the brown-tiled road to the most mysterious mystic of them all! No one's ever seen him in person."
Deep Male Voice: Enter!  Who dares to see Mister Magic?!  Speak up!,"It is I, SpongeBob of the SquarePants, Magician Level 1. And I have turned my friend into ice cream."
Mister Magic:  Good job.,"Well, thank you, but well, I can't change him back."
"Mister Magic: Hmmm, um, well, have you ever thought of a different hobby?",I need your help to change him back.
"Mister Magic: My help?  Uh, no thank you.","But if you don't, my friend will be a cone forever."
"Mister Magic: Sorry, I... umm... I'm out to lunch, that's it.",I'll wait.
Mister Magic: I'm on a two-year lunch.,"Oh, please."
Mister Magic: Silence!,"But, sir, no one else has your power of sorcery."
"Mister Magic: Thank...you. Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob, there's a guy over here talking into a tubey thing. Horace: Uhh, ignore your friend. The fish you see is only an illusion. Mister Magic:  Uhh, ignore your friend. The fish you see is only an illusion. Patrick: Why's he saying the same thing Mister Magic's saying?","I don't know, Patrick. Who are you, good sir?"
"Horace: Well, I... uh... I'm Horace B. Magic.",Are you Mister Magic?
"Horace:  Technically, yes. But the only magic around here is the magic of business.",Does that mean you can't change my friend back?
"Horace:  I'm, I'm afraid not. So sorry about that, laddie. Your refund check is in the mail.","I don't need a refund, I want my friend back! This isn't about money. You're nothing but a fake--just a lying, corporate businessman, tainting the purity of magic with your corrupt commercial ways!  You have ruined my faith in the magical arts."
Horace:  Security.,What are we going to do about Squidward?
Patrick: We could always eat him. I'm kind of hungry.,"Mister Magic was a fake and all his magic stuff is fake! All those magic words, they were fake. Yacky, shmacky, bappy, dappy, doppy, blabby, flabby, murkery, fool, magic of bloob-jiggacacies!..."
"Squidward: Ew.  What are you doing, SpongeBob?","Squidward! You're back. The magic words worked.  I really am magical after all. Can I turn you into something else, now?"
"Squidward: Hey, stop!  Get me out of here! Patrick:  Hey, SpongeBob? I'm still hungry. Can you turn me into a jar of mayonnaise so I can eat myself?","Sure, buddy. Patrick-a mayonnaise-ica."
"Narrator: Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome to the most fascinating place on Earth, Bubbletown! A bouncing, vibrant city, where everyone... and everything is comprised entirely of globules of air!",Ooh!  A whole city made of bubbles! I'm so excited!
"Narrator: Let's take a closer look at this effervescent city! Some bubbletowners drive to work in their bubble cars. While others simply float. Having a bubble car is great because parking is a cinch!  Bubbletown also provides excellent public transportation. Seats are always available because these high-tech buses can account for any number of passengers.  Here are some workers going to work in their bubble building. Narrator:  You may wanna use the door.  This office uses stand-up desks, and the ceiling for a more efficient work environment.","Whoa, whoa-whoa.  Wow!"
"Narrator: Yes, there's all kinds of things to see and do in Bubbletown! You can enjoy Bubbletown's very own band!","Oh, yeah!"
"Narrator: And if you're hungry, why not try a bubble dog from one of our many bubble food vendors?","One, please?"
Bubble hot dog vendor:  Here you are.,"Mmm!  Oh, yeah! I am rabid for these dogs!  Huh? Hey, it's my old pal, Bubble Buddy! Hiya, Bubble Buddy!"
Bubble Buddy: SpongeBob?,"Gee, it's good to see ya!"
Bubble Buddy: Whoa!,"Uh, oops. Sorry."
"Bubble Buddy: Oh, don't worry about it.","So, how you been? How are things?"
"Bubble Buddy: Oh. Not so good, SpongeBob. On my way into town, I got a flat tire on my motor scooter.",Let me see if I can fix that for you. Ta-da!
"Bubble Buddy: All right! Bubble Man #1: Say, that was some pretty handy bubble work you did there, son. Bubble Buddy: Why, SpongeBob is the best bubble blower I know. He can inflate and create anything! Bubble Man #1: You don't say? Hey, can you help me? I've got a small leak in my roof. Bubble Wife: Honey!",I can help you? By blowing bubbles? Oh...
Bubble Buddy: And...clear!,Count me in!
"Bubble Man #1: Fantastic! Bubble Man #2: Say, when you're done helping him, my house could use a new rec room! Bubble Lady #1: I need some pajamas.","Okay, mm, uh-huh."
Bubble Man #3: I want another sandwich! Bubble Man #4: Monster truck tires!,"Never fear, people of Bubbletown! I'm on it!"
"Bubble Man #1: Wow! Thanks, SpongeBob! Bubble Man #4: All right!","Oh, Bubble Buddy, this has been the best day of my life! I love it here in Bubbletown!"
"Bubble Buddy: Watch out for those— Bubble Lady #2: Excuse me, sir, but you seem to have stepped in my dogs.","Oh, uh-uh, pardon me, ma'am. Let me just— Oh. Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!  Whoa!  My eyes!"
"Bubble Buddy: SpongeBob, come back! Bubble Groom: Amy, will you marry me? Amy: Yes! I will! Bubble Groom: Aw. Bubble mayor: I now dedicate this new school for overly cute children. Little bubble boy: I wuv to learn! Bubble mayor: Hey! That was my job!",I'm so sorry! I can't stop! Watch out!
"Bubble Buddy: SpongeBob! Bubble Buddy: SpongeBob! Oh thank goodness, you're okay.",No! Stay away!  I'm a monster!  A monster!  Just look at the destruction I hath wrought!
"Bubble Fred: My bubble legs! Bubble Man #4:  My monster truck tires! Bubble Buddy: Okay, that doesn't look great.  But I'm sure we can get it all sorted out. Bubble police officer: I'm afraid the only sorting out your friend's going to be doing is in jail. For popping a large portion of the city.","Okay, take me away! I'm guilty! I deserve whatever punishment you give me."
"Bubble police officer: All right, you get one phone call.","Okay.  The machine, hold on. Gotta leave a message. One second.  Hey, Mr. Krabs. It's me, SpongeBob. Um, I'm in jail. In Bubbletown. They gave me three life sentences, so um...so um... I might be late for my next shift! I'm so sorry!"
"French Narrator: Later… Mr. Krabs:  Mr. Squidward! Squidward:  Du, huh, what, who? Mr. Krabs: What's going on here? How long have these folks been waiting to give me their money? Old Man Jenkins: I'm okay! Mr. Krabs: Well…? Squidward: What's the point? There's no one in the kitchen to make any food. Mr. Krabs:  What?! Where's SpongeBob? Didn't he call in?","Hey, Mr. Krabs. It's me, SpongeBob. Um, I'm in jail. In Bubbletown. They gave me—"
"Mr. Krabs: Oh, barnacles. Me fry cook's in the clink. You have the conn, Mr. Squidward. I'll be back as soon as I can! Customers: Wha—whoa.",Mr. Krabs!
"Mr. Krabs:  This is a prison break, boy-o. Let's get a move on! We've got a bunch of hungry customers back home, and I need your help fleecing—I mean, I mean feeding them!","Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Krabs. I can't go. I haven't finished paying my debt to society yet."
"Mr. Krabs:  Can't go? When I say we're leaving, we're leaving! Bubble police officer: Hey! You're not supposed to be in here! Mr. Krabs: Eat claw, bubble cop! Bubble police officer: Uh-huh? Bubble Wife: Honey! Mr. Krabs:  Good thing they were all just bubbles, eh? Okay, let's get out of here.  Uh-oh.",You popped it all.  There's nothing left!
"Mr. Krabs: Forget it, SpongeBob. It's Bubbletown.","No! I can't forget it. Just leave me here, Mr. Krabs. My tears will be a fitting memorial to the bubble city that I loved."
"Bubble Buddy:  So sorry to interrupt, but I might have a solution that works for everyone!","Oh, yeah!"
Bubble Buddy: Yeah!,Let's blow this popsicle stand.
"Bubble Buddy: I can't believe how quickly you inflated the whole city again, SpongeBob!",Yep! The whole city. Plus this new Krusty Krab.
"Mr. Krabs:  Yeah! Franchisin's a great idea, boy-o!  I am making money claw over fist here.  Hey, what's the exchange rate for bubbles to real money? Bubble Buddy: There is none! Bubble customers: Exchange rate? Mr. Krabs: That's it. We're done here.",Huh.
"Little bubble boy: I wuv to learn! Narrator: Ah, beautiful springtime. A time for fun and frolic for most...  but not for this poor slob. Squidward: Oh, what a beautiful day. And here I am trapped in a prison of high cholesterol.  No one ever comes in on Sunday.  Why can't Mr. Krabs just let us go home?  SpongeBob, stop ringing this bell!",I was just testing it.
Squidward: I will ring the bell when there's an order. But...  There's no customers! There hasn't been one all day and there isn't gonna be any!,One Krabby Patty coming up!
"Squidward: No! Mr. Krabs: That sounds like me money dropping.  What's going on out here?! My babies!  Get away, you barbarian! What have you done? Nice, clean money... soiled!  I'll take care of ya. Let papa clean ya up.  Clear the way!  No, no, no, don't cry, little ones.","What's wrong, Mr. Krabs?"
"Mr. Krabs: Me dime!   No!  I got it, boy!  What the? It's stuck! You gotta help me, SpongeBob!",You've gotta let go of the dime.
"Mr. Krabs: I can think of ten good reasons to never let go of a dime, boy. There's got to be another way! Grab me captain's quarters and heave!  Me arms!","Oh no, not again!"
"Mr. Krabs: Wait.  Squidward... I'm putting you in charge of things around here while I'm gone. Squidward:  You can count on me, sir!  Take care, Hurry back. Get well soon. You're in our thoughts.  Takes more muscles to frown than to smile.  Okay, SpongeBob, let's get down to business. My first official act as new manager is to give you a promotion.",Ahh! Really?
Squidward: You get to run the cash register.,"The cash register... Wow! Squidward, who's gonna work the grill?"
Squidward: You are-- It's part of the promotion I mentioned earlier. You'll be wearing two hats now. You're gonna take the orders and then you're gonna make them!,Ah... This is the best day of my life.
"Squidward: Me, too.","But wait, if I'm running the register and the grill, what are you gonna do?"
Squidward: I've got some very important boss-like errands to run. See ya later.,Squidward!
Squidward:  What is it?,You forgot to teach me how to use... The cash register.
"Squidward: You push the button and put the money inside. Okay, you're on your own.","I can't believe this is really happening.  Today, I start living!"
"Squidward: Well, Squidward, you've really outdone yourself this time. A beautiful day of relaxing and pampering... With pay. Hmm... I guess I do kinda feel bad for poor little SpongeBob, all by his lonesome... Oh, oh, it'll pass. He's probably just standing at the register with that stupid grin on his face. Thought Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob! Thought SpongeBob: Hey, Patrick! Thought Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob, could you give me change for a quarter? Thought SpongeBob: No problem!  Here ya go! Thought Patrick: Thanks. Squidward:  I forgot to tell him how to make change! Oh!  Sponge...  ...Bob.","Hi, Squidward. All done with those errands?"
"Squidward: No, I am not. I just remembered I needed change for this dollar.","Do you want four quarters?  Or ten dimes?  Or twenty nickels?  Or one hundred pennies?  Or one quarter, three dimes, seven nickels, and ten pennies?  Or, if you give me a five dollar bill, your options are..."
"Squidward: Alright, goodbye.  This is great. My day off, no worries, just relaxation.  I'm the boss, I deserve this. Ah... Squidward:  Everything will be fine. There won't be any customers today anyway. He'll probably just stand there, bored.  SpongeBob, bored. Thought SpongeBob: Ehh... Gettin' kinda bored. Squidward: Oh, what am I doing?  I am wasting valuable relaxing time, that's what I'm doing! I mean, really. What are the odds? SpongeBob setting the Krusty Krab on fire.","May I help you, sir?"
"Squidward:  It's me, you dunce!","Oh, hi, Squidward!  How are those errands going?"
Squidward: What's that supposed to mean? I'm very busy.,"Well, I'm sure you are."
Squidward: I don't like your tone.,I'm sure you are.  How's that?
Squidward: Just do your jobs!,"Aye-aye, Mr. Tentacles.  Boy, no wonder Mr. Krabs put him in charge."
"Squidward: Must... re...  ...lax!  Look at yourself. You're losing your bluish glow! Stop worrying so much. Now, repeat after me: you will not go back to the Krusty Krab. Mirror SpongeBob: I will destroy the Krusty Krab! Squidward: SpongeBob!",Have you finished...?
"Squidward: No!  That's it. That's it. No matter what sick fantasies run through my mind, I will not go back to that restaurant!",Have you finished those errands?  Have you finished those errands?  Have you finished those errands?  Have you finished those errands?  Have you finished those errands? Have you finished those errands? Have you finished those errands?
"Squidward: No, I am not finished with those errands and I never will be, so quit checking up on me!  I know what you're up to.  Forcing me to come back here every time you mess up!",But I haven't...
"Squidward: Okay,  maybe you haven't messed up yet, but you will. You will...  And when you do, I'll be there. I'll be there!","Gosh, Squidward sure is a hard worker. He makes me proud to wear  these hats."
"Squidward: There!  Now I'll have to stay here and enjoy myself!  I'm not even gonna think about you-know-who at the you-know-what doing I-don't-care.  Just gonna... Relax.  Let Squid's day off... begin.   What was that?  It's SpongeBob. He's spying on me to see if I'm really doing errands.  But, but he left his post.  And I've finally caught him messing up.  Aha! I caught you, Sponge...  ... Branch.  Heh, here's that rubber duck Mr. Krabs wanted me to get.  I've got you now! Wait'll Mr. Krabs finds out you're a...  ... Toilet. You're losin' it, Squidward. Calm down. If I let this get to me again, I'll just end up running down to the Krusty Krab, bursting through the front door, up to that yellow headache SpongeBob, and he'll say...","Hi, Squidward.  Are you finished with those errands yet?"
"Squidward: Aha!  I know you're in here.  What?  He's heading back to the Krusty Krab!  I'll beat him there!  I've got you now, SpongeBob! Sadie: Hey, put some clothes on! Squidward:  The truth will be revealed! Patrick:  Whoa-ho, right on, Squidward! Purple Doctorfish: Okay, Mr. Krabs. Get plenty of rest and if things don't seem right, come back. Mr. Krabs: Thanks, Doc. Squidward: SpongeBob, you can't beat me!  AHA! I caught you now! You didn't think I knew you were a stick outside my window! Ha! Or the toilet in my bathroom!  And then you were in my bathtub, and  I... and-and you... and I... and then you... swam... down the drain... and... beat me... to the Krusty... Krab.","Uh, does that mean you're...?"
"Squidward: Yes, SpongeBob. I am finished with those errands.  I guess I want to take my place back at the cash register. I really do.","Then you might wanna put these on.  Hmm... Hey, Squidward, you know what? Look!  We forgot to switch the Closed sign to Open. . It's almost like we could've taken the whole day off!"
"Squidward: Welcome to the Krusty Krab. My name is Squidward. May I take your order? Clay: Hmmm... uhh... oh, I'll have a...  ...no.  Maybe...  ...no.  Hmmm... I'll have...  ...no. Or maybe... Squidward: Are you planning on ordering today, sir? Clay: I'll have a Krabby Patty. Squidward: How original. Clay: And with extra onions. Squidward: Daring today, aren't we?  One Krabby Patty, extra onions.","One cryin' Johnny comin' up!  First bun, then patty, followed by ketchup, mustard, pickles, extra onions, lettuce, cheese, tomatoes, and bun, in that order. One cryin' Johnny! Up!"
Squidward: Whatever.  Twelve Krabby Patties on wheat buns!,"Bun, patty, ketchup, tomato, bun, bun, patty, ketchup, tomato, bun, bun, patty, ketchup, tomato, bun, bun, patty, ketchup, tomato, bun, bun, patty, ketchup, tomato, bun. One dozen cryin' cows on the farm! Up!"
"Squidward: Thanks, Farmer Brown.  It's been a thrill serving you. John: Can I get some extra salt? Squidward: We're all out. John: Could you check? Squidward: No.  Let me guess, tiny, a small salad? Bubble Bass: I'll take a Double Triple Bossy Deluxe on a raft, four by four, animal-style, extra shingles with a shimmy and a squeeze, light axle grease, make it cry, burn it, and let it swim. Squidward: We serve food here, sir.","I got it already, Squidward.  Bubble Bass!"
Bubble Bass:  SquarePants!  I hear talk you make a mean Krabby Patty.,Yep. I hear talk you're kinda picky.
Bubble Bass: Yep.,"Well then... here ya go!  Well, Bubble Bass, whaddaya think?"
Bubble Bass: This is pretty good. Only one thing. You forgot the pickles! Crowd:,No!
Bubble Bass: The best there is? I don't think so. You lose!,"But, the pickles should be right where they always are. I know I put them on!  Where are those pickles? Pickles? Pickles? Pickles?"
"Bubble Bass: I believe you owe me two bucks. Mr. Krabs: Two bucks?! Bubble Bass: Your guarantee. Mr. Krabs: Oh. That. Well, can't we talk about this? Bubble Bass: No. Mr. Krabs:  How about a discount on restroom tokens? Bubble Bass: Afraid not. Mr. Krabs: How's about a free glass of water? A dozen free glasses of water! I'll even put ice in it!  No! Come back! Two dollars! Two dollars, no! No!","Mr. Krabs, I know I put pickles on that Krabby Patty."
Mr. Krabs:  That two bucks is comin' out of your paycheck!,Wait! Wait! Wait!
"Mr. Krabs: Get back to work, we got orders waitin'! Squidward: I need a Krabby Patty.","Okay, I am not gonna blow it this time. Let's see. Bun down. Then ketchup, then mustard, then pickles? No! That's not right!  Bun down. Mustard, then ketchup, lettuce, then the pickles? No!  Mustard down, bun stuff down, d'oh, where's the patty go?  Pickles, ketchup, wait! Think! Think! I'm losin' it!  Bun down, shoe, mustard, pan, bun... no!  Mr. Krabs, I am so confused. I can't remember how to do anything."
Mr. Krabs: Why don't you take the rest of the day off?,"Oh, no, Mr. Krabs. Who will make the Krabby Patties?"
"Mr. Krabs: Oh, don't worry about that. We've got Squidward! Squidward: Huh? What?","Mr. Krabs is right. I need to get my head straight. Now is it bun, patty, ketchup...  The door! The door! Mr. Krabs, the front door is missing!  Oh.  Sorry about that, Mr. Krabs. This pickle thing has got my head all messed up. I better go on home and rest my brain.  Uhh, which way do I live?  Of course.  No, no! Was it bun, patty, bun... Let's see, tomatoes, pickles, bun? No. Bun? No. Bun? No. Shoe?  I am so confused! Maybe a good night's sleep will help me get my head on straight. Oh... was it mattress, mattress, sheets, pillow, then SpongeBob? Or...  D'oh... think, Sponge! Oh yeah! It was mattress, SpongeBob, mattress, then sheets, pillow.  Good night, Gary."
Gary: Meow.,"Aw, this isn't right.  Good night, Gary."
Gary: Meow.,"Wait, this isn't right either.  Nope.  Nuh-uh.  Negative.  C'mon, c'mon! Get it right.  Wrong. Wrong! Wrong! Nope! Naw! Negatory! Nyet!  Aww, I almost had it! Alarm clock. D'oh, how do I turn this thing off? Think, think, think, think!"
Gary: Meow.,Gary!
"Squidward:  Patties are done. Mr. Krabs: Urrgh! Unknown Anchovy: Hey, he burnt my Krabby Patty. Martha: He burnt my fries! Billy:  He burnt my shake! All customers: Mr. Krabs: No! Come back! No! No! Urrgh... I gotta get SpongeBob back! Mr. Krabs:  SpongeBob? Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob!","Mr. Krabs, hello. Do you how do?"
"Mr. Krabs: Why you talkin' funny, lad?",I anything can't do right since because pickles.
"Mr. Krabs: Nonsense, you'll be back makin' Krabby Patties like your old self in no time!","I think don't ready back to go to work, Mr. Krabs."
"Mr. Krabs: But you're fine, me boy!  Ohh... uhh, well... maybe not.  All we need to do is get your confidence back. So, you can make me more money! I-I-I mean, patties.",I how do that?
"Mr. Krabs: It's like riding a bike. You never forget!  Uhh... I'm gonna help ya!  If you learn to make a Krabby Patty again, your life will be back in order.","Mr. Krabs, I don't know if I..."
Mr. Krabs: Take your time.,"No, no, no, no, no.  I got it! I got it! It's all very clear to me now, Mr. Krabs!"
Mr. Krabs: It is?,"Yes! I finally realize that I can't do it! I can't do it, Mr. Krabs! I'm a failure!"
Mr. Krabs: Don't talk like that!,"Don't you get it, you crustaceous cheapskate? I can't make a Double Krabby Patty with the works!  I can't put a patty on a bun, with lettuce, cheese, onions, tomatoes, ketchup, mustard, pickles, and top bun together in that order!"
"Mr. Krabs: It's time. Unnamed fish: Hey, SpongeBob's back! Bubble Bass: I hear SquarePants is back!","I'm right here, Bubble Bass."
Bubble Bass: I thought I ran you out of town.,This is where I belong!  .
Bubble Bass:,Rawr.
"Bubble Bass: Give me the regular. And this time, don't forget the pickles.",I didn't.
"Bubble Bass: Hmm... ...Still no pickles!  See?  You failed again, SpongeBob LoserPants!",Wait a minute!  Look!  He's been hiding the pickles under his tongue the whole time!
"Mr. Krabs: And there's the pickles from last time, too! Shubie: And there's my car keys! Bubble Bass: And... there's my ride! Mr. Krabs: Three cheers for the return of our master fry cook, SpongeBob! Hip hip... All: Hooray! Squidward: Hooray. Mr. Krabs: Hip hip... All: Hooray! Squidward: Whoop-de-doo. Mr. Krabs: Hip hip... All: Hooray! Squidward: Oh, boy.",And three cheers for the fry cook who took my place when I was gone: Squidward!  Hip hip...
All: Boo!,Hip hip...
All: Boo!,Hip hip...
All: Boo!,Hip hip...
"Customer: Boo! You stink! Kelp Thing: Huh? Eh? Narrator: It's Mermaid Man! Savior of the deep!  And his young fit servant, Barnacle Boy. Mermaid Man: Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy...unite!  Kelp Thing, this is a posted, no-parking zone. Kelp Thing: But I must do what I do.  Huh? Mermaid Man: Evil can't park here between the hours of 6:00am and 12:00pm! Club Leader: Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy Fan Club members unite! All: Unite! Club Leader: And now the second order of business: Drippy Brothers Studios is currently in production of the Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy movie! All: Ooh!","Oh, boy, Patrick, I can hardly wait to see our favorite heroes on the big screen!"
"Club Leader: Third order of business, the special surprise guest!  The stars of the Mermaid Man movie are here tonight!  Directly from the set, here they are! Fake Mermaid Man: Hello, little heroes. Patrick: Huh?",You're not Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy. You're fakes!
"Fake Mermaid Man: Well, of course, we are. We're actors.",Actors? How can they make a Mermaid Man movie without the real Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy?
"Fake Mermaid Man: Listen, kid, this is an action movie. Your has-been heroes are too OLD for action.",Mermaid Man is timeless!
Patrick: Yeah!,I think I speak for everyone here when I say we won't stand for these two phony-baloneys ruining the good name of our heroes. No right-minded Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy society member would ever pay to see this... this celluloid hoax. I say we boycott this movie! Now who's with me?  Traitors! Wait ‘til we tell Mermaid Man about this.
"Announcer: B-47. Mermaid Man: BONKO! Barnacle Boy:  It's bingo. Mermaid Man:  Get your hands off me, woman! Announcer: A-29.",Too old for an action movie...huh.
"Barnacle Boy: What is it this time, kid?",Are you aware Drippy Brothers Studio is making the Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy movie?
Barnacle Boy: They can't be making a movie about us!,But they are! And they're using...  actors. They have shunned our heroes.
Patrick: And they weren't nice to them either. Mermaid Man:  Now our dreams of being big screen heroes will never come true.,"Well, that makes it even worse."
"Barnacle Boy:  You bet it does, kid. Mermaid Man: And the worst part is I can't remember why I started crying. Patrick: Why don't we just make our own movie?","Patrick, once again, you have exposed your brilliance. We'll make a real Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy movie. Right here at Shady Shoals."
Mermaid Man:  You will?,"Yes! And in doing so, we will right the wrong done to you by the evil Drippy Brother Studios and...  their actors."
Mermaid Man:  Vindication is ours! Vindi... how did I get up here?,"Okay, Patrick, what do we need to start a movie?"
Patrick: Popcorn?,"No, Patrick, to start making a movie."
"Patrick: Oh, oh, oh...",Let's start with...the title.
"Patrick: Yeah, yeah. Ooh! I got one! Adventures in the Underground City.","Great, Pat, what happens?"
"Patrick: Well, there's a city...",City...
Patrick: And it's underground...,Underground...
Patrick: And they have an adventure...,Adventure...
Patrick: The end.,"End.  That's great, Pat.  Hmm, seems kinda short."
Patrick: I have an idea. Let's make it longer!,"Longer, yes. Okay, let's have Mermaid Man get his face...  ...shrunk by Kelp-Thing's face minimizer."
"Patrick: Yeah, and then he...umm...he drinks...cheese coffee.","Good one, Pat."
Mr. Krabs:  What are ye lads doing?,We're making a movie.
"Mr. Krabs: So, what do ye say, lad?","Sure, Mr. Krabs, Pearl can be in our movie."
Mr. Krabs: I wasn't talking about Pearl. I was talking about the Krabby Patty.,"You can be in it, too, Pearl."
Pearl:  I'm gonna be a movie star.,Let's meet the highly skilled professionals who will help us fulfill your dream of being on the big screen. Sandy will handle the stunts and explosives.
Sandy: Howdy.,Pearl is the leading lady. Mr Krabs will cater the affair. Patrick will run the camera.
Patrick: Hey...,This is Squidward. He's in charge of the makeup department.
"Squidward:  Uh, no thanks. Who wants to be the 'makeup department'?","Not makeup department, you're the makeup 'artist'."
Squidward:  Artist?,Makeup artist.
"Squidward: In that case, let's make those old crabapples sizzle.  Hmmm...  Time for the art-eest to go to work.  Voila!","Okay, places everybody. Squidward, are our heroes ready?"
Squidward: As they'll ever be.,"They're beautiful! They look just like they did 30 years ago.  Okay, action!"
Sandy: I love my new job!,"Good job, Sandy!"
"Plankton: Psst...  I, Man Ray, have returned from the murky depths to seek my revenge and banish your souls to the nether regions. Their defenses are strong, but they are no match for my Man Ray ray.",What are you doing?
"Plankton: SpongeBob, this role was made for me.","That villain isn't even in this movie. But let me see if we have something that fits your qualifications. Oh, here's something.  You can be the boom operator!"
"Plankton: I thought Sandy was the boom operator! Sandy: Did somebody say boom? Plankton: All right, SpongeBob, but you're squandering my talents!","Okay, Patrick, start the movie!"
Assistant: Take 1. Mermaid Man: We have to get back to those swollen Krabby Patties.,"Cut! No, Mermaid Man, it's stolen Krabby Patties."
Assistant: Take 2. Mermaid Man: We have to get back to those stolen naggie daddies.,"Cut! No, Mermaid Man, it's stolen Krabby Patties!"
"Assistant:  Take 5,003. Mermaid Man: We have to get back to those stolen Krabby Patties! And if we don't stop that diabolical scoundrel- Plankton: Give it back! Barnacle Boy: I knew this was a bad idea.","Cut! Plankton, next time could you keep the boom out of shot? Other than that, you're doing a super job."
"Plankton: This is humiliating. I'm not good at this boom thing. Sandy: Did somebody say boom? Pearl: Oh, daddy, you said I was going to be a star! Mr. Krabs: You are, Pearl. Mermaid Man wouldn't be anywhere without you. Go out there and break a leg. Pearl: Yeah!","Okay, action!"
Mermaid Man: To the boat mobile.,Cue the sound effects.
Mermaid Man: Listen to that engine purr.,Almost there!
"Patrick: Good morning, SpongeBob.","Everything's ruined! Well, at least we got the footage."
"Patrick: Yeah, I got the footage.","Patrick, what is that?"
"Patrick: Oh, it's a camera.","No, Patrick, this."
"Patrick: Oh, that's a lens cap.",Did you just put that on?!
"Patrick: Yup, I didn't want to lose it, so I put it there right before we started filming.",The movie's ruined! We can't make a movie!
"Mermaid Man: Hey, little hero, this reminds me of the Episode 912. We were surrounded. The Kelp-Thing was to our right and their broccoli was on the side. But if there was one thing I remember, it was how to forget.","Patrick, this is good. Roll the film."
"Mermaid Man: The rain in Spain stays mainly on the...space! The final countdown. Stick to the...stick to the...Lou, my darling! Lou!  Now get out there and finish this movie, kid.","Mr. Krabs, why are you weeping?"
Mr. Krabs: I closed early for your movie. Where are the paying customers?! You promised a full house!,And here comes the filling!  The Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy Fan Club. I knew you'd come to see the real Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy movie.
"Club Leader: Actually, the real movie was sold out. I'll take 200 tickets, please. Mr. Krabs: Now, this is what I call a happy ending. Barnacle Boy:  Well, our big moment, us up on the big screen.","Fort Lox: home to over five billion Krabby Patties.  What evil mastermind would dare infiltrate this fortified fort and make off with its treasure?  It is I, Kelp-Thing! Do what I do!"
Mermaid Man:  Stop! You can't do that forbidden.,Watch me!
"Mermaid Man: Prepare to feel my wrath, you foul villain.  You may have won the Krabby Patties, but the battle rages on.  Mermaidmanacle Boy, unite! SpongeBob & Patrick:  Yay! Mermaid Man: Well, kid, you showed the world that even though our steps may have been slowed, we still have a little action left in these heroic old bones. Barnacle Boy: Well, at least some of them. Narrator: Ah, springtime in Bikini Bottom. All sea creatures have an innate sense of the seasonal changes...  ...like the starfish. A quick survey of his environment...  ...and he knows that... Patrick: It's spring! Narrator: The starfish then sheds his winter coat  and stores it away safe for winter.","I'd better call the doctor, 'cuz I've got spring fever! Good morning, little flowers.  Hello, Squidward, isn't it a lovely day?"
Squidward: Huh?,"Did you say, Hello! to the flowers yet?"
"Squidward:  ...Good morning, flowers. *hiss*","Gosh, I didn't know Squidward had hay fever. I'll do him the kindness and plant him some hypoallergenic flowers.  You're on your way. I bet you're thirsty.  Huh?  I'm not taking my eyes off you."
"Narrator: Three days later... Patrick:  Hey, SpongeBob!","Hi, Patrick!  How does this keep happening??  Hi.  She's beautiful!  What a magnificent seahorse. I shall tame her. Who knows what we can accomplish?  Because of her mysterious behavior, I have decided to name her Mystery. Hmmm, now that I think of it, she is very graceful and majestic... perhaps I should name her Grace, or Majesty... or Debbie.  She must have spotted my floral bookmark!  She's coming this way. That's it, girl... don't be afraid... I'm just a talking sponge, is all...  Gosh, Mystery, that was the greatest day of my life. Do you think we'll be friends forever?  I'll take that as a yes!"
Squidward:  What the...?,"Hey, Squidward! Still riding a machine to work I see."
"Squidward: Don't say anything, Squidward, remember your karma.","Whoa, girl. Now you wait out here until I'm done with work. See you at the end of my shift."
"Scooter: Hey, look! Mr. Krabs put in a kiddie ride! Wobbles:  Why doncha try it out? Scooter: I can't find the coin slot. Here it is! Wobbles:  HELP! Kiddie ride on the loose! Mr. Krabs:  What's with all the ruckus!?  A monster scaring away me customers!","That's not a monster, Mr. Krabs, it's a horse. She's my friend. Her name is Mystery."
"Mr. Krabs: ...You're a mystery, SpongeBob.  Get rid of it.","Huh? Please, Mr. Krabs, let her stay! She won't hurt nobody nohow!"
Mr. Krabs: It's either you or Mystery.,I knew I should've named her Debbie.
"Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, thanks for finally getting rid of that horse!","You're welcome, Mr. Krabs."
"Mr. Krabs: Now, if we could only get rid of Squidward.","Good one, sir.  Hah! It worked, girl.  We'll just keep you here until Patrick finishes that stable I asked him to build.  Only eight more hours."
Narrator: Twelve seconds later...,"No, Mystery, you can't come out yet. If old man Krabs sees you, I'll lose my job.  Wait a second. I bet you're hungry. How ‘bout some lunch?  Shhh! Girl, you got to be quiet or..."
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob!  What was that? Is that horse in here?!,"No, Mr. Krabs. I was just practicing my imitation of Mystery... wheesnoff."
"Mr. Krabs: Well, keep working on it! That was terrible!","That was close.  From now on, no more hijinks. Order up!"
"Squidward: SpongeBob, where's my order?",Did you look under the tray?
"Squidward: No I didn't, sorry.  SpongeBob, could you just get my order?","They vanished! Squidward, do you think the Krusty Krab is haunted? What if they come for me next?! I GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE!"
"Squidward: SpongeBob, there's no ghosts!",Oh?
"Squidward:  In case you've forgotten, here's how things work. I order the food,  you cook the food, then the customer gets the food.  We do that for forty years and then we die.  Sounds like a pretty good deal to me, what do you say?","Yeah, yeah, yeah, I hear you Squidward. I'll be right back."
Squidward: What's that?,"Don't tell Mr. Krabs! I got it all under control!  Now then, you were saying?"
Squidward: Just get my order.,"You got it, Squidward?  Ghosts.  Mystery, you ate my hat.  Mystery, you ate my spatula. You ate all the Krabby Patties! You ate the stove! You ate Old Man Jenkins!!!"
"Old Man Jenkins:  I don't want to be a burden. Squidward:  Folks, we have a minor situation going on in the kitchen. Thaddeus: Where's our food? Fred: I'm so hungry! Tina: This is my only lunch hour! Tom: Where's Old Man Jenkins?! Squidward: Take it easy, the food's no good here, anyway. Mr. Krabs: Squidward, what's goin' on in here? Squidward: Why don't you go ask Cowbob Ranchpants and his faithful companion Sir Eats-A-Lot. Mr. Krabs:  SpongeBob! What's the meaning of all these nicknames!?!  DAVID H. JONES!",Mystery got a bellyache from eating Krabby Patties. So I made her a bicarbonate of soda.
"Old Man Jenkins: *burp* What did I miss? Mr. Krabs: So, my eyes are correct! You still have that horse even when I ordered you to get rid of it! Well, now I'm going to get rid of it once and for all!","No, Mr. Krabs. Please don't make me give up Mystery! I know you think she's just a horse, but she's more than that, I tell you. She listens to me. She understands everything I say and I understand her! She's my best friend."
"Squidward: Hey, who left this bowl of onions here!? Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, your story has touched me heart. Believe it or not, I know what it's like to give up a best friend.",You do?
Mr. Krabs: I was five years old and me father gave me a dollar. I loved that dollar. Loved it like a brother. Me and that dollar went everywhere together.,"What happened to the dollar, Mr. Krabs?"
"Mr. Krabs:  And one day at the beach, it was so hot and I was so thirsty! I spent it on a soda!  My best friend! Squidward: What? Would you get out of here? Mr. Krabs: The point is, son, sometimes, you have to set things free even though it's hard.  Look at her. She misses the great outdoors, the wide-open spaces, the rolling green pastures. The kitchen is no place for a live horse.","Alright, Mr. Krabs, I understand."
Nat Peterson:  Hey!,"Okay, girl, you're free to go.  I can't keep you anymore.  I know it's hard for you to understand, but Mr. Krabs is right. You belong in the wild.  Well, what are you waiting for!? Can't you see I don't want you anymore!  JUST GET OUT OF HERE, YOU STUPID DUMB ANIMAL!  Well, she's gone and I'll never see her again."
"Mr. Krabs: It's okay, son. You did the proper thing. She's free now and we have no right to separate that wild animal from her natural habitat. Squidward: Hey, Mr. Krabs! Looks like old Mystery had an after-dinner salad! Mr. Krabs: Get that horse!",Mystery!
Mr. Krabs: Come back!,Mystery! Wheesnoff!
"Both: Mystery, come back here! Ted: Oh, no, I lost my pen. Waitress: You can borrow mine. Ted: Thanks.",I lost something once. I lost something I couldn't live without-- my identity.
"Ted: So, anyway, thanks for the pen. Waitress: No problem, hon.",It all started last week-- Monday morning to be exact-- the day I lost my identity.
Ted:  I've gotta go.,"Good morning, world, and all who inhabit it.  Awk! Gary, help! I can't see. Gary!  Gary, are you there?  Ow!  Gary? Gary, buddy? I need you to be my eyes, okay? Am I near the bathroom?  Gary? Gary?  Gary?"
Gary: Meow.,"Gary. Now that my horrific incident of terror is over, how about some breakfast?  The most important meal of the day, serving it up Gary's way-- pop!  Enjoy, buddy. Hmm, you know, I've been feeding this to Gary for years, and I don't even know what it tastes like.  Bleah!  Bleah!  Bleah!"
"Sadie: What is it, Peterson? Peterson: I'm not sure. I feel... a disturbance.","That was the worst thing I've ever tasted. Oh well, at least I'll never have to do it again.  Barnacles! All these shenanigans made me late for work.  Ooh!  Uh oh.  All right!"
"Patrick: Hi, SpongeBob!",Hi Patrick!
"Waitress: Wait a minute. When exactly did you lose your identity? Ted: Yeah, and who's Patrick? Diner Chef: And why did you eat Snail-Po?","Ah, ah, ah, patience, good people. A great story can't be rushed. However, I will skip ahead to the Krusty Krab.  Order up!  One Krabby Patty grilled with the fiery warmth of my beating heart. Enjoy."
"Gale: Thanks, uh...  Oh.",Is there a problem?
"Gale: Well, you really should be wearing a name tag so I can thank you properly.","While it is against my philosophy to disagree with the customer, I must point out that I am in fact wearing a name tag, right here.  Huh?"
"Squidward: Uh, SpongeBob?","Oh, Squidward, it's terrible! It's the most terrible thing that's ever happened to me. I lost my name tag. Pourquoi!"
"Squidward: SpongeBob, take it easy! I'm sure you can get a new one.","But I don't want a new one, Squidward. My name tag is out there somewhere. Lost... Hungry... Who will help it? What if someone's using it?"
Bank Robber: Alright! Nobody move! This is a bank robbery! Attica!,"I'm innocent, I tell ya!  Squidward, what happened?"
"Squidward: Hmm? Oh, you fainted because you lost your name tag or something.",Huh?
"Squidward: SpongeBob, will you get a hold of yourself? Since when is losing your name tag the end of the world? Mr. Krabs: Attention, all employees! Just a quick heads-up, boys. There's going to be a surprise uniform inspection in one hour. Anyone who doesn't pass gets the boot!  This boot, to be exact. It's very stinky, and you'll have to wear it all day. See you in an hour. Squidward: SpongeBob, if you really want to find your name tag, just retrace your steps.","Retrace my steps? Squidward, you're a genius."
"Squidward:  Huh. Huh. A genius? Well, I don't know about that, but...","Cover me till I get back, okay?"
"Squidward: Oh, sure, sure.  A genius? Well, how about... Hey!","Let's see, if I'm going to retrace my steps, I got to remember everything I did this morning."
"Patrick: Hi, SpongeBob.","Oh, hi Patrick.  You said hi to me this morning, right?"
Patrick: As I do every morning.,"Well, I need you to do it again."
"Patrick: That wasn't part of the deal, SquarePants!","Patrick, what are you talking about?"
Patrick: My hellos aren't just some tape recording that you can rewind and play over and over. They're special!,"Patrick, this is an emergency! I lost my name tag this morning, and I need to retrace my steps!"
Patrick: You lost your name tag?,"Okay, Patrick, you know the plan, right?"
"Patrick: I got it, I got it. You're gonna retrace your steps and when you walk by me I say hi, just like this morning.","Perfect. Hmm, I guess I should start with when I woke up.  I sure hope this works.  Good morning, world, and all who inhabit it!  So far, so good.  I don't see my name tag up here.  Now that my horrific moment of terror is over, how about some breakfast?  The most important meal of the day, serving it up Gary's way.  Bleah! Okay, next I just have to walk outside and say hi to Patrick.  Patrick!"
Patrick: What?,You were supposed to say hi to me!
Patrick: Hi.,"Oh. All right, let's take it from the top."
"Patrick: Hi, SpongeBob.",Don't forget your line this time!
Patrick: I won't.,"Good morning, world, and all who inhabit it.  The most important meal of the day. La-la-la... Gary's way. Bleah.  Patrick, why didn't you say hi to me?!"
Patrick: What's my motivation?,Forget the motivation! Just say hi! Ugh!
"Patrick: Hi, Patrick! Oh wait, I'm Patrick! I'm sorry. Sorry.  I'm sorry. Let's try it again.  Hi, SpongeBoob! Ha! SpongeBoob! I sai... I sai...  Who's SpongeBoob?! I said SpongeBoob!  Again, again. Sorry people.  I've got the giggles.","Oh, what's the use? I'll never find my name tag in time for inspection."
"Patrick: Well, what did you do after I said hi to you this morning?","Hmm, let's see.  I skipped merrily to the Krusty Krab, said hello to Old Man Jenkins..."
"Thought SpongeBob: Hi, Mr. J.","...placed an apple on Mr. Krabs' desk...  and that's about it. Oh, and these two guys threw me in the dumpster.  Good one, guys!  Whoa!"
Patrick: That's it! Your name tag is in the apple on Mr. Krabs' desk!,"Patrick, you're a genius. Oh wait, he's probably thrown it away by now."
"Patrick: Well, then we'll look in the dumpster!","Eh, what is that stench?"
"Patrick: That is the stench of discovery. Come on, buddy. I'll give you a boost.  Hop on, pal.","Hey, it's not so bad once you get used to it."
Patrick: I wish I had a nose.,"Come on in, buddy. The garbage is fine."
Patrick: Cannonball!,You look over there and I'll look over here.
Patrick: Okay.,Patrick?
Patrick: I'm looking. I'm looking.,Patrick? Patrick!
Patrick:  I'm looking as fast as I can.,Patrick!  Thank you.
"Patrick: Here, let me get that. Hey, look! A Stingray 5000 single. Hey, these guys rock. Why would anybody throw this away?",Have you  forgotten what we're looking for knee-deep in yesterday's Top 40 songs?!
Patrick: Yes.,I'll give you a hint. Two words. First word: my. Second word: name tag.
Patrick: Could I have another hint?,"Patrick, I would love to sit here and play Twenty Questions with you, but I've only got  one minute till inspection.  One minute?! Hurry, Patrick, we don't have much time."
"Patrick:  Hey, SpongeBob...","Not now, Patrick."
Patrick: I know where your name tag is.,Where?! Where?!
Patrick: Uh... I can't remember.,"Patrick, I don't have time for this!"
Patrick: There it is!,Where?!
Patrick: Uh...  I forgot again.,"Patrick, are you with me or against me?"
Patrick: Could you give me a hint?  There! I see it!,"Yeah, yeah, yeah... the boy who cried name tag. If you're not going to help me, then just go crawl back under your rock!"
"Patrick:  Well, at least I don't wear my shirt backwards.","My shirt backward...  What the...?  My shirt's on backwards!  I had my identity all along.  Oh, and just in time. Thanks, Patrick."
"Patrick:  Don't mention it, buddy. Mr. Krabs: Fall in for inspection! All right, you two...  Hat and uniform seem to be in order.  Hmm, promise me you'll shave tonight and you pass. Squidward: Hoorah. Mr. Krabs:  Okay, boy, your turn.",I think you'll find everything shipshape.
Mr. Krabs:  Ack! Jumpin' jellyfish! What's that stench?,"Uh... discovery?  And that's how I got my identity back. Well, that's my story."
"Waitress: Well, you managed to kill eleven minutes.","Thanks, uh...  Betty."
"Waitress: What?  Oh, sweetie, I'm not Betty. I just borrowed her uniform while mine's at the cleaners. Squidward: Maybe I'll do a cute little button.  Or something a bit more manly perhaps.  Upturned might be good, too.","Hi, Squidward."
Squidward: Great.  The idiot found me.,Whatcha doing?
Squidward: I'm picking a nose.,"Ooh! I used to pick my nose too, until I finally cleared it out."
"Squidward: I'm not picking my nose, SpongeBob. I'm on the way to the hospital for a nose job. Plastic surgery. I'm finally gonna get the nose I should have been born with.","But, Squidward, you're a beautiful flower. You don't need to change a...  Well, maybe a little work wouldn't hurt. Hey, you want a ride?"
Squidward: With you? Absolutely not.,"Aww, come on, Squidward.  I can get you there lickety-split."
"Nurse: You can't dump your garbage here, sir.","Oh, that's not garbage. That's my friend, Squidward. We're here to check in."
"Nurse: Holy nostroly! You must be here for the nose job. Let's, uh, get your paperwork filled out. Surgeon: You just relax, sir. The doctor will be ready for you soon. Squidward:  Ah. This is nice.","Never fear, Squidward. Soon this dreary old room will be so full of well-wishing you'll never want to go home."
"French Narrator: Five minutes later... Squidward:  SpongeBob, get this garbage out of here! I can hardly move!","Oh, are you uncomfortable? Here, let me help."
Teddy Bear: I love you. Squidward:  The bed is fine!,Fluff your pillow?
Squidward: No.,Fluff your IV bag?
"Squidward: Enough, you buffoon!","Well, gee, Squidward, I was just trying to be helpful."
"Squidward:  If you want to help so badly, why don't you just go volunteer to be a candy striper? There's plenty of other people in the hospital you could torture.","Squidward, that's a great idea. I was born to serve. Hello, lady, can I be a candy striper here at the—"
Nurse: Grab a uniform out of the closet.,"Ooh, thank you! Thank you! Whoo!  Ooh! Candy stripes.  Strawberry."
"Purple Doctor: Ah, Doctor, thank goodness you're here. Green Doctor: We were just looking for another physician to join us on our rounds. Green Doctor: And what seems to be the problem today? Catfish:  My throat hurts. Purple Doctor: Prescribe him a numbing throat spray. Let's move on, shall we?","Wait a second! I think I've seen this before.  Mm, yeah.  Mm-hmm. I'll need one medical sea-chicken."
"Catfish: Hey, my keys. And my throat feels better.","You see, doctors, catfish are bottom feeders. The dirt on his face led me to believe he had recently eaten something that irritated his throat. Happens to my friend Patrick all the time.  Mm-hmm.  Try a Krabby Patty next time, sir. They go down smooth, and they taste better than car keys."
"Catfish: Thanks, doc.","No need to thank me, sir. I'm here to help."
"Purple Doctor: What treatment might you prescribe for this next patient, Doctor? Runner: So what do you think? Will I be able to run in the Bikini Bottom marathon next week? Green Doctor: Oh, my, no. I'm afraid you're—",Of course! Friends don't let friends miss marathons. We'll have you up in no time.  Ah!
"Runner: What are you— Purple Doctor: Most unorthodox. Green Doctor: He's a genius. Runner: Thanks, doc.","Ready, set."
"Green Doctor: And what seems to be your problem today, ma'am? Mrs. Puff: Sometimes, I just don't have it in me to puff up under my own power.","Hi, Mrs. Puff."
Mrs. Puff: No! Not you!  What are you doing here?,"Don't worry, Mrs. Puff. I'm a doctor...today. What is this crazy thing? Looks like some sort of weird submarine."
Purple Doctor: You're kidding of course. We've placed her in an iron lung to help puff her back up.,Ha-ha! Dive! Dive! Up periscope! Load the torpedoes.
Mrs. Puff: Huh? Mrs. Puff:  Help me! Unnamed doctor: Hey! Runner: My legs!,"Never fear, Mrs. Puff. I haven't lost a patient all day.  Let's get medical. Oh, no."
"Mrs. Puff: Oh. Actually, I feel like my old self again. But you still don't get a driver's license.  Oh! Purple Doctor: Wow. I've never seen anyone work an iron lung like that. Green Doctor: So awesome. Purple Doctor: We were on our way to perform a surgery... Green Doctor: But we would be honored to watch you perform it.",Me? Perform a surgery?
"Squidward: Oh, yeah, this is the life. And best of all, there's no SpongeBob here to ruin it.","Oh, boy, surgery! And on my first day too."
"Squidward: SpongeBob? No! What are you doing here? Surgeon: Nighty night, Mr. Tentacles. Squidward: Wait, wait, no, no, no, no!","Oh, hi, everybody."
"Doctors and surgeons: Hi, SpongeBob. Purple Doctor: Doctor, the patient's over here, and he's ready for you to begin. Green Doctor: Oh, we're most eager to see which tool you select first.","Hmm, mm—mm—mm—mm. Let me see. Whoa, whoa, whoa! Phew.  Here we go!"
Doctors and surgeons: Oh! Ah!,"Okay, SpongeBob, this can't be too hard. Just make an incision here, and—  no! Shoot!  Son of a gun!  Ah, my bad."
Surgeon: I'll take that.,"Ah-ha!  Mmm, sushi. He's, uh, really going to pieces over this nose job. Oh,  Thank you! Let's try again, shall we? Order up! Yow! That shouldn't be in there.  Ooh!"
Yellow Doctor: What?  Oh.,"Ta-da! Nurse, sponge. Thank you, nurse."
Gray Doctor: I can't see! I can't see! I want to see! Gray Doctor: I still can't see.,"Ta-da! There we go. You can wake him up now, nurse."
Squidward:  What—what happened?,"I finished your nose job, you silly goose. Take a look."
"Squidward: SpongeBob, you idiot! This isn't even close to what I wanted!","Well, why didn't you say so? Oh, nurse!"
"Squidward: Wait, no, no, no! I want a different doctor! I— Squidward: No!  No!  No!  No!  No!  No!  No!  No!  No!  No!  No-o-o-o! Squidward: Stop! I don't want to change my nose anymore! SpongeBob, I'll do anything! Anything at—",How's about the Squidward Classic?
"Squidward: Hey, not bad. This looks even better than my old nose.","Well, I did have to use a few of your other body parts to re-sculpt it. D'oh! Look at the time. I have to go to work."
Purple Doctor: But you're a doctor. You're at work.,"No, I'm just a fry cook.  But it was fun playing with you guys. Bye!"
"Purple Doctor: Fry cook? Ooh. Squidward: Don't be afraid, ladies. This sinus Adonis is on the market. Mrs. Puff: Okay, class, quiet, quiet. Now get out your pencil and paper and write down the assignment.",Did you hear that? We get an assignment!
Mrs. Puff: Everyone must write an essay on what not to do at a stoplight.,Did you hear that? What not to do at a stoplight?
Mrs. Puff: In no less than 800 words. Nat:  Did you hear that? 800 words!,"Yeah, I know!"
Mrs. Puff: Due tomorrow. And remember class: work hard and no goofing off.,"Okay, Gary, no goofing off! I am about to write the greatest essay of all time. Like most great essays, it will be written on paper. Even more important than the paper is  the pencil. A pencil as sharp or as dull as I like. Hmm... funny... as my ideas grow, you shrink.  Well, I couldn't have asked for a more beautiful day to write an essay.  Okay, here we go. What. Not. To do. At. A. Stoplight. Hey this is easy! By SpongeBob SquarePants. Hah! This essay is pure gold! And now pencil, get ready to do your stuff because here we go!  Gee, this is harder than I thought..."
"Patrick:  Come on, SpongeBob!","It should be against the law to have to write an essay on such a super sailorific, sunshiny day! Oh! But I must press onward, because with this pencil, and the completion of this essay, I'll be one step closer to my driver's license!  Oh, yeah. This'll be no problemo. Why, I've got plenty of time. It's only 6 o'clock. Okay, okay here we go, here we go.  I know, I just need to get blood pumpin' in the old noodle. How about some calisthenics? I can feel those juices pumpin' now!  Huh? What am I doing?! I've gotta write that paper!  Come on, pencil, make words."
Gary: Meow.,"Gary! Hey, hey, hey, Gary! How’s my favorite mollusk? How about you let ol' SpongeBob fix you up something to eat?"
Gary: Meow.,What do you mean you're not hungry?
Gary: Meow.,"I know I have an essay to write! Now come on, Gary.  I've got to make sure you have your nutrition, Gary, so I'm not leaving until you eat every single bite.  Gary, are-are you sure you don't want some crème brulée? Or, or some chocolate-flavored algae bits?  Gee, Gary sure made a mess. I can't work on my essay knowing there's a mess in the kitchen.  Hmmm... I might as well clean the rest of the floor while I'm at it. I should get these hard-to-reach places too! And these dishes need to be cleaned! Can't have dirty garbage.  Well, I think it's clean enough now! Why that didn't take too long... and it's only... 10 o'clock?! Ooh... No more fooling around! I've gotta get back to work! Okay, Mr. Essay, I say... prepare to be written!  I'm doing it! I'm doing it! Yeah... yeah... yeah! And some of these, and some of these... Almost there and...  done. Now lets see how it looks so far. The-  Break time! Pacing always helps me think! Let's see, only 799 words to go... thinks SpongeBob think!"
Patrick: Who is that?  Hello?,"Hey, Patrick, whatchya up to?"
Patrick: Sleeping.,"That's really fascinating, are you having a good sleep? Any dreams you'd like to discuss? I remember on the..."
"Patrick: SpongeBob, you and I both know that you're just choosing me as a distraction so you don't have to write your essay.",That is-that is not true! I called to have an engaging conversation with you!
"Patrick: Well, I'm listening.",Uh... Marco!
Patrick: Polo!,"Yeah, well I gotta get going Patrick, got an important essay to write?  Sheesh, what a chatterbox. Can't he see that I'm busy?  I can't write with all these eraser shavings all over my paper!  Now they're floating around my thinking space.  So long, pesky particles!  I swallowed one! I'm choking! Water, water!  That was a close one."
Gary: Meow.,"What do you mean 'overly dramatic', Gary?  All that choking sure made me hungry."
Gary: Meow.,"I can't write on an empty stomach, Gary. I gotta have my brain food! Now let's see... White or rye bread... or pumpernickel. Gee, I guess it really depends on the meat inside... and the cheese  A visitor? For me!?  Hello!"
Norton: Package for Mr. SquarePants.,"Great thanks! So, uh, do you like delivering mail?"
Norton: It puts bread on the table.,Rye or pumpernickel?
"Norton: Oh, brother..","So, do you deliver your own mail or do you have your own mail person? But then who delivers his mail? Is there a never-ending chain of mailmen delivering mail to other mailmen? Well I guess a P.O. box could in theory break the chain..."
Norton: Don't you have a paper to write?,How did he know I'm supposed to be writing an essay?
"Johnny Elaine: In other news, local resident SpongeBob SquarePants only has a few hours left to complete his essay, and yet he continues to goof off.  When will he learn?",Hi-yah!
"Chair: Hey, SpongeBob? Over here! Come on, take a seat, put your feet up and relax.","Oh no! Midnight!  Must... get... back to desk!  Whew, that was a close call.  Ah! My pants!"
Pants: Yoo hoo! Down here!,You get up here! I've got to get back to work!
Pants:  Freedom!,"Stop Pants, you get back here this instant! Paaants..."
Fire Wick: Only 799 words to go!,No!  What have I done?!  Help! Help! My house is on fire!
"House: SpongeBob, why? Why did you set me on fire, SpongeBob? Why didn't you just write your essay? Stop wasting time!","Where's my essay! Oh, there you are!  I must have dozed off.  Lets see where are we?  Do I dare look at the clock...  It's almost 9 o' clock! Class starts in 5 minutes! How am I going to write this whole paper in 5 minutes? How am I supposed to know what to do at a stoplight? Feeding your snail is something not to do at a stoplight!  And making a sandwich, and lighting candles, and drinking water, and calling your friends, and karate chopping the TV, and shootin' the breeze with the mailman, and fallin' asleep...  Mrs. Puff! Mrs. Puff! I'm finished! All 800 words! I'm finished! Here it is!  Huh? Mrs. Puff? Where is everybody?"
"Mrs. Puff: Oh, there you are SpongeBob.","Here you go, Mrs. Puff! 800 words! All about stoplights and what not to do at 'em."
"Mrs. Puff: I'm sorry, SpongeBob. I tried to call you... I have to go to a teacher's convention!",But what about my essay?
"Mrs. Puff: I decided to cancel the assignment. We're just going to take a field trip to a stoplight instead. See you next week! Narrator: Mrs. Puff's Boating School. Where diligent students learn the rules of the road. Mrs. Puff: Everyone, put down your books, because it's time to pick out the hall monitor of the day!  Let's see here. This weeks hall monitor will be Bart, Jimmy, no, no, Tina, Ralph, mm...  ...SpongeBob...!  It's Jimmy! Jimmy's the hall monitor. Jimmy: Mrs. Puff, I've done it already! Mrs. Puff: Ohh... Phil? Phil: No way, Mrs. Puff. Mrs. Puff: Uhh, Tina, you're the hall monitor. Tina: Hey, I've done it three times already! Mrs. Puff: B...uh...B-Beth! Student: She graduated! Mrs. Puff: Henry?!  Vera?!  Clayton?!  Alright, I guess I have no choice.  The hall monitor of the day is  SpongeBob.","Yahoo! Hall monitor SpongeBob reporting for duty, ma'am! I am ready to assume my position... in the hall! I will protect all that are weak... in the hall! All rules will be enforced... in the hall!"
Mrs. Puff: Okay! Just take the hat and belt.,"I can't accept that yet, ma'am. First, I have to make my speech."
"Mrs. Puff: You can't make this easy, can you?","Classmates! Who am I to deserve such a great honor? Why, I would be nothing without Mrs. Puff."
Mrs. Puff: Give me a break.,"And to my public, all I can say is I'm touched. And furthermore, I will carry out my duties...  ...crime and punishment, punishment and crime in the hall!  Which reminds me of an extremely long speech written by the greatest hall monitor of all time.  Friends, students, juvenile delinquents, lend me your ears.  In conclusion, and without a moment to spare, I will put on this uniform  and assume my duties as...  ...hall monitor! Wish me luck, Mrs. Puff!  Oh, and I will be re..."
"Mrs. Puff: SpongeBob, are you okay?","I overdid the speech again, didn't I?"
Mrs. Puff: I'm afraid so.,"Aww, tartar sauce. I guess I won't be needing this.  I hardly knew ya."
Mrs. Puff: Uhh... SpongeBob?,"Yes, Mrs. Puff?"
Mrs. Puff: I can at least let you wear it until tomorrow.,"A-hoo!  Thanks, Mrs. Puff!"
Mrs. Puff: What are the consequences of what I've just done?,"Broken traffic light! Who's to say my monitor duties should end just because the bell rang? I can be helpful anywhere! This looks like a job for the hall monitor!  What would this town do without you, SpongeBob?"
Fred: My leg! My leg!,"On patrol. I'm on patrol.  Uh-oh, an open window."
"Vera: More seaweed medley, dear?",The fools. They've left themselves susceptible to danger. I must show them the error of their ways through example.  I'm the open window maniac!  I hope you learned a valuable lesson!  On patrol. I'm on patrol. I'm on patrol...  Vandals! Another crime.  hmm...strawberry! I must act!  Patrick...  Patrick... Patrick...
Patrick: My ice cream! It's alive!,Patrick! Down here!
"Patrick: Oh, SpongeBob, it's you.",Patrick. Come down here.
Patrick: SpongeBob? SpongeBob?,I'm down here.
"Patrick: Hehe, you look funny! Hi, SpongeBob.",That's hall monitor to you!
"Patrick: Sorry, officer.","Sorry's not good enough, Patrick. You've committed a crime, and I'm taking you in."
"Patrick: What crime?  I'm a bad person! Newspaper Boy:  Extra! Extra! Maniac strikes Bikini Bottom! City paralyzed with fear!   Take it, friends. Arm yourselves with knowledge.   Extra! Extra! Maniac strikes Bikini Bottom!","Maniac. Bikini Bottom? Car wrecks? Break-in?. Who better to bring this maniac to justice than me, the hall monitor! But I can't handle this case alone. Patrick, are you ready to give up your life of crime?"
Patrick:  I wanna be good!,"Hmmm... now you just need a symbol of authority.  Perfect! It is our duty to catch this maniac and bring him to justice! But how to proceed? Listen, deputy, you're an ex-criminal. What would you do?"
Patrick: Hmmm... I'd get an ice cream!,"Okay, now what?"
Patrick: Hmmm...,"This isn't working. We've got to do something else. Something with walkie-talkies!  And now, duty calls! Alright, deputy, I'll go that way, you go some different way! Run ‘em out!"
"Officer Rob: Afternoon, son. Patrick: Hello, brothers. Officer Rob: Son, we're looking for the maniac. Officer John: Have you seen this man?! Patrick:  It's the maniac! Take him away, take him away! Officer Rob: Calm down, son. It's just a drawing, not the real thing. Now we're gonna show you this picture again, and you tell us if you've seen this guy. Understand? Patrick: Yeah, uh-huh. Officer Rob: Okay. Patrick:  Horrible! Officer Rob: Stay indoors, son. Officer John: And, uhh, take that cone off your head. Patrick:  SpongeBob? Come in, SpongeBob. Answer!","SpongeBob here, Patrick. Report."
Patrick:  I don't wanna be a policeman anymore. I'm scared!,"Get a hold of yourself, deputy."
Patrick:  I wanna go home!,"Poor rookie. Alright, I'm on my way back."
"Patrick: Hurry, SpongeBob, I think it's getting...  ...dark.",Just put on your siren and I'll be right there.
Patrick: Wee-woo. Wee-woo. Wee-woo. Wee-woo.   Wee-woo! Wee-woo! Wee-woo! SpongeBob! I see him!,"Where is he, Patrick?"
Patrick:  At the intersection of Conch and Coral.,"That's where I am! He's right on top of me, but I can't see him! What's he doing?"
"Patrick: Uhh, he's just standing there... menacingly!  Get out of there, SpongeBob!  That's his maniac shriek! He's going to attack!  He's acting all crazy! Run! Hind behind that building!  No, he's behind that building! Oh, quick, hide behind that street sign!  No wait! The maniac just went behind that sign! Quick! Get under the street light!  No wait, agh, he's there, too! Run for your life!","Say again, deputy?"
Patrick: The maniac's in the mailbox!,"Huh, this guy's not half-bad-looking for a maniac. Wait a minute, Patrick, I'm the maniac!"
"Officer Durado: We'll take that as a confession. Mrs. Puff: SpongeBob SquarePants, there you are! I turn my back on you for one minute and you destroy half the city! You should be ashamed of yourself! Officer #1: You know this guy? Mrs. Puff: Of course I do. I'm the one who gave him the uniform in the first place. He's my responsibility.  Uh-oh...  And in conclusion, students: red means stop, green means go. And SpongeBob...","Yes, Mrs. Puff?"
Mrs. Puff: I'd like to see you after class. Six months from now!,"Good morning, Bikini Bottom! Ahhh, what a beautiful day!  I wonder if Patrick's at home."
"Patrick: Hiya, SpongeBob!  Whatcha doin'?","Goin' over to Sandy's place.  Hey, what's this? This doesn't look like Sandy's place."
"Sandy: Don't lose your barnacles, boys. Hi-yah!  There it is!",What is it?
Sandy: Can't you see? It's Texas.,Texas? What's a Texas?
"Sandy: Ohh, it's nothing but a memory now.",All right then. Let's make one of your treedome.
"Sandy: You know, all of a sudden, I don't feel like sand castles, SpongeBob. I'll see y'all later.",Sandy? Hi-yah!
"Sandy: Aww, SpongeBob, I'm not feeling up to karate now.","Oh-ho. I get it. Not feeling up to karate, huh? Whatever you say, Sandy.  Boy, I hope Sandy doesn't attack me from me from behind. Hi-yah! Uhh, Sandy?  Surf's up, Sandy!"
"Sandy: No, thanks.","Boy, there's nothing like going jellyfishing! Look, Sandy, we caught one!"
"Sandy: Listen, SpongeBob. Right now, I don't want to build sand castles, play karate, or eat jellyfish.",We don't eat 'em! We let 'em go!
"Patrick: Fly away, little critter!","Go on, go back to where you belong.  Run along, back to your family and friends. I know they miss you as much as you miss them. Hurry, before they forget you and leave you behind. Remember: there's no place like home! Sandy, what the heck are you crying about?"
Sandy: I ain't crying! My helmet just sprung a leak!,Sandy...
"Sandy:  Oh, I guess I'm just feeling a little homesick.","Homesick, huh?  Almost there."
"Sandy: Heck gum it, SpongeBob, what is it?",Da-ta-dah.
"SpongeBob and Patrick: Welcome home, Sandy!",Sandy?
Sandy: Go away.,"I don't get it, Patrick! What's wrong with Sandy?"
"Patrick: Maybe it's just a squirrel thing. Sandy: ♪Wish I was back in Texas. The ocean's no place for a squirrel.♪  ♪Wish I was in Texas, prettiest place in the world oh no. I guess that deep in my heart, I'll always be a Texas girl. I wanna go hooooooooooooooome, home.♪","Patrick, do you hear that?"
Patrick: Arrrgh! Get them off me! Get them off me!,"Wait, Patrick, listen. It's Sandy."
"Sandy: ♪I wanna wake up in Texas.♪  ♪I miss those wide open skies. I miss my twenty acres, barbecues and pecan pies, oh, why? When I'm so far from you Texas, all I can do is cry.♪ Fish #1, #2, #3: Please Make It Stop! Sandy: ♪I wanna go hoooommme.♪  ♪I wanna go home.♪ Patrick: Do you think she knows the Muffin Man song?","Patrick, she sang that song from her heart. She really misses Texas."
"Patrick: Well, let's go get some Texas and bring it down here!","Patrick, you can't...that's it! Patrick, your genius is showing!"
Patrick:  Where?,Everything looks perfect. We're going to get Sandy now.
"Mr. Krabs:  Well, hurry up, lads! We can't squat like this forever! SpongeBob and Patrick: Krusty Krab! Krusty Krab! Sandy's surprise is at the Krusty Krab! Patrick: Wait until she sees the...",Shh! Don't spoil the surprise!
"SpongeBob and Patrick: Hey, Sandy!",You want to come with us to the Krusty Krab?
"Sandy:  Hey, SpongeBob. Hey, Patrick.",What are you doing with those bags?
Sandy: I'm going back home to Texas.,What?! Now?! You can't! I mean we...
Sandy: It's time for this tumbleweed to tumble on home.,"Wait, Sandy! You can't! Uhh, we we're gonna...the...the...Krusty Krab...that is not the right direction! Wait, if you don't...if I can't...augh! Sandy! Wait a second! You don't wanna leave without having one last Krabby Patty down at the Krusty Krab?"
"Sandy: I'm tired of fish food, SpongeBob.","But, Sandy, don't you want to say goodbye to all your friends down at the Krusty Krab?"
"Sandy:  I just can't do that, SpongeBob. It'd be too sad.","No, no! Wait! Sandy!  I can't believe she's gone."
Patrick: Yeah. What's so great about dumb ol' Texas? Sandy: What did you say? Patrick: Texas is dumb? Sandy:  Don't you dare take the name of Texas in vain!,You mean we can't say anything bad about dumb ol' Texas?
"Sandy: No, you can't! Patrick: Then can we say people from Texas are dumb? Sandy: No! You can't say nothing about Texas!","Oh, so you mean we can't say anything bad about...  Texas!"
"Sandy:  I'm warnin' you, SpongeBob!","Look, Patrick, I'm Texas! Duh, howdy, y'all! Howdy y'all!"
"Patrick: I'm Texas, too! Git a dog, little longie! Git a dog!",Howdy y'all!
"Patrick: Git a dog, little longie! Git a dog! Sandy: Y'all best cut it out!","The stars at night are dull and dim, whenever they have to be over dumb ol' stupid Texas!  Hey, Patrick, what am I now?"
"Patrick: Uhh, stupid?","No, I'm Texas!"
"Patrick: What's the difference?! Sandy:  Y'all best apologize, or I'm gonna be on you like ugly on an ape!",You'll have to catch us first!  We did it! We got her!
"Patrick: Krusty Krab, here we come!  Can we say that plants from Texas are dumb? Can we say that shoes from Texas are dumb?","Okay, Patrick, that's enough."
Patrick: Why? You think that old slowpoke Texas is gonna...,"Run faster, Patrick!"
Patrick:  SpongeBob! Sandy: Hi-yah!  Y'all gonna take back what ya said!,No! Almost there!
"Sandy: SpongeBob, you've been messing with the bull! Now here come the horns!","Sandy, no!"
"Everyone: Howdy, y'all! Sandy: Wha-what's this?",It's a party!
Patrick:  For you! Sandy: For me?!,"It's your own little slice of Texas! Check it out, Sandy! We got square dancing...  ...giant Barbecues..."
"Squidward: Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.","...homemade peas-in-a-can pie...  ...and we got our very own 10 gallon hats!  So, what do ya think? Are you gonna stay? Don't cry anymore, Sandy, I'll go get your bags."
"Sandy:  I'm not crying, I'm laughing! I appreciate what y'all are trying to do, SpongeBob, but home isn't about barbecues and pecan pies, home is where you're surrounded by critters that care about ya. Sandy: Huh? Duh. What am I doing? I was home all along, and it took me until now to realize it.",Does that mean you'll stay?
Sandy: I'm staying!,That makes me feel all wiggly.
"Patrick: Yeah, who needs dumb ol' Texas? Sandy: What did you just say?! Patrick: Should I start running now?",You dance divinely.
Patrick: Shall we?,"Oh, I love this song!"
Squidward: Why are you nitwits in my house? SpongeBob and Patrick: We're bored! Patrick: And we don't want to be bored!,"We wanna have fun. Come on, Squidward. Give us something fun to do. Please?"
"Patrick: Oh, let's play lunch!",No problem. I'll whip up some grub.
Squidward: Leave my kitchen alone!,"Hm, there must be something I can scavenge up around here."
Squidward:  Oh! That's it. How would you two like to go on a... scavenger hunt? SpongeBob and Patrick: Scavenger hunt? Patrick: What's a scavenger hunt?,"A party game in which participants work in teams to collect a list of miscellaneous objects! Scavenger hunt, yeah! What's first on the list, Squidward?"
"Squidward: Um, oh, uh, well, let's see.  Bring back the rare Desert Sandwich.",Sandwich? Sandwich? Sandwich?
"Squidward:  Not in here! The sandwich is only found deep in the Bikini Badlands, out there! Patrick:  Oh. Squidward:  Phew. I am a genius.","Goodlands, half a league. Badlands, 20,000 leagues?"
Patrick: So...thirsty.  Oh.,It's no use. We'll never find the rare Desert Sandwich. Squidward! We did it! We brought back the first item!
"Squidward: Sand? Squidward:  Witch?  Oh, good grief! Not that kind of sand witch! The Desert Sandwich has tomatoes and bread and—and—mayo. Sand Witch: No worries, I used to work at an evil deli.  Ta-da! Squidward: Oh, looks pretty good.  Get it off! Get it off!","What's next on our scavenger hunt, Squidward?"
Squidward: Hmm...oh.  Mm-hmm. Your next item is the Boxing Begonia!  It only grows in the deepest canyon of the Mariana Trench. SpongeBob and Patrick: Ooh! Squidward: Ha. That'll keep them out of my hair.  Oh. Patrick: It's so straight-downy.,"Don't worry, Patrick. A scavenger is always prepared.  The rope is too short! We need another one!"
Patrick:  Here!,"Thanks, Patrick! Where'd you get another rope?"
Patrick: From that rock!,Found it! We're back!
Squidward: What? But—but it's not possible!  Boxing Begonia? It's beautiful. Patrick: The champ takes a swift uppercut to the jaw.,"Squidward is against the ropes. A left, a right."
Patrick: How can a man stand it?,"Oh, and the champ is down!"
Patrick:  The winner! Squidward: How do you keep finding everything?,You have to keep your skull... numb.
"Patrick: Yeah, we're numb skulls! Squidward:  Your next mission is to find  the Loch Ness Monster and bring him back...alive.","Ooh, the Loch Ness Monster!"
"Patrick: Oh, so good! Oh, so good!  What color? Squidward:  Doesn't matter! Good luck!  They'll never find it. And if they do, it'll eat them.  It's a win-win.",Stroke! Stroke! Stroke! Stroke! Stroke! Stroke!
Patrick: How are we gonna find a monster in the dark? I can't see anything.,We don't have to find it. It'll find us.
Squidward:  I'm the greatest.  And here comes the worst. SpongeBob and Patrick:  We're back! Squidward:  The lo—lo— The Loch Ness Monster! How did you find it?,"Oh, simple.  Bagpipes."
"Squidward:  It likes bagpipe music? Patrick: No, it hates it. The Loch Ness Monster: Ahh...",But it sure loves to eat 'em!
"French Narrator: One very long digestive tract later... SpongeBob and Patrick: Give us another one! Give us another one! Give us another one! Squidward: Oh, brother!  Brother...","Come on, just one more."
"Squidward:  Well, all right, it's—it's impossible, but...  if only you could find my long lost brother. SpongeBob and Patrick:  Brother? Squidward:  I haven't seen him since he was a baby.",Aww.
Patrick: Baby with a mustache. Squidward:  He was an early bloomer.,What was his name?
"Squidward: Name, huh? Um...","Um? Aw, what a pretty name."
Squidward:  If I could just see him again...  No.,That's so sad!
Patrick: Even my armpits are crying!,"Come on, Patrick, we've got some extreme scavenging to do!"
"Patrick: Yeah! Squidward:  Oh, thank you.  I'm free!",Squidward's brother! Squidward's brother!  Squidward's brother?
Patrick: Squidward's brother?,He's right here! Squidward's brother!
Patrick: The rascal shaved his mustache! Squidward:  Good grief. French Narrator: Six months later...,Um! Squidward's brother!
Patrick:  Squidward's brother!,"Mrs. Tentacles?  Mrs. Tentacles, you're Squidward's mother. You must know where Squidward's brother is."
Mrs. Tentacles: Brother? Squidward never had a brother. One of him was enough.,"Aw, that's so sad. Squidward wanted a baby brother so badly he imagined one."
"Patrick: Oh, man. Now it'll take even longer to find him.","Hm?  Oh, I'm getting a brainstorm!"
"Patrick: I've got you, buddy.","No, Patrick, let it flow.  Ooh, I have a plan."
"Gary:  Meow! Squidward: Oh, I love my two new homes. And best of all, I haven't heard from those idiots in months!",Squidward. We found your brother.
Squidward:  You urchin brains! I never had a brother!,You do now!
Patrick: Two brothers! Us! Squidward: What are you morons talking about?,"Come on in, Mama."
"Squidward:  Ma—Ma—Mama? Mrs. Tentacles: Isn't it lovely, dear? I've adopted your two little friends. SpongeBob and Patrick:  Brothers. Camera Man: Oh, what a beautiful family—yeee. Smile!","Wow, four stingers.  Where have I seen this before?  Here it is.  Land squirrel.  That little squirrel is in trouble."
"Sandy Cheeks: Take that, you sorry old clam! Y'all need to learn some manners!  You're about as ugly as homemade soup.","Hooray, land squirrel!  Look out!  Hold on, little squirrel!  You have fought well, giant clam. Prepare to be vanquished! Hai!  Hey, I'm actually doing it.  Your shell is mine!"
"Sandy: Hold on there, little square dude!","Hey, you like karate too.  So, uhh, what's your name?"
Sandy: Sandy.  So what do y'all call yourself?,I'm SpongeBob!
"Sandy: Well SpongeBob, take a gander at this.",Oh.  Oh yeah? Watch this
"Sandy: I like you, SpongeBob. Why, we could be tighter than bark on a tree. Hi-yah!","Uh, I like you too, Sandy. Hi-yah!  Ow. Say, what is that thing on your head?"
"Sandy: Why, that's my air helmet.",May I try it on?
Sandy: Heck no. I need it to breathe. I gotta have my air.,Me too. I love air. Air is good.
Sandy: No kidding?,"Why, air is my middle name. The more air, the better. Can't get enough of that air."
Sandy: Shee-oot. How about comin' over tomorrow for tea and cookies then?  Don't be late.,"Okay, see you tomorrow.  Patrick! Patrick! Patrick, Patrick, Patrick! What's air?"
Patrick: Huh?,I just met this girl. She wears a hat full of... air.
Patrick: Do you mean she puts on airs?,I guess so.
"Patrick: That's just fancy talk. If you wanna be fancy, hold your pinky up like this. The higher you hold it, the fancier you are.",How's that?
Patrick: Higher.,Like that?
"Patrick: Now that's fancy. They should call you SpongeBob FancyPants.  Remember: When in doubt, pinky out. You can do it, SpongeBob. I'll be watching.","Thanks, pal."
Sandy: Hello?,"Hi-ya, Sandy. It’s me, SpongeBob."
"Sandy: Hold on a sec, I'll let you in.","Sandy! Sandy! Open up! Sandy! Sandy!  Sandy, something's gone terribly wrong. There's no water in...  ...here."
Sandy: ‘Course there's no water. Nuttin' but air.,No water?
"Sandy: That ain't a problem, is it? Hi-yah!",Problem?  Hi-yah! That's how I like my air!  With no water.
"Sandy:  Well, alright. I made Texas tea and cookies. Well, come on in! Hi-yah!  That's not in. In.  You're a funny little dude. Come on, I'll give you the grand tour.  So this is my own private little air bubble. This air is the driest...  ...purest...  ...most airiest air in the whole sea. Oh, over there's my birdbath.  And that's my oak tree.  It provides me with extra air. This dome is made of the finest polyurethane, that's a fancy word for plastic. Ain't that just the bees knees?  Tell you what, weren't easy getting here neither. First, I...  ...that's my treadmill. That's how I stay in tip-top shape. Well, come on. Let’s have that tea now. Patrick: Pinky. Pinky.",I brought you some flowers.
Sandy:  For me? How sweet.  You okay?,"Yes, I'm okay."
"Sandy: You know, you're the first sea critter to ever visit.",I can’t imagine why.
Sandy: Can I get you anything?,Water would be nice.
Sandy: I'm gonna to put these in a vase.,Take your time.  I gotta get out of here!
"Sandy:  I like you, SpongeBob. We could be tighter than bark on a tree. Patrick:  When in doubt, pinky out.","I don't need water! Water's for quitters! I don't need it! I don't need it! I don't need it! I don't need it, I don't need it..."
"Sandy: Why, these flowers are just beautiful!  They'll last much, much longer in a vase full of ice cold water.  So tell me about yourself.  It must be fascinating bein' a sea critter.  SpongeBob?  Oh, there's the cookies.  Be right back.","I don't need it, I don't need it, I definitely don't need it.  I don't need it.  I don't need it.  I don't need it.  I don't need it.  I need it!"
"Patrick: No, SpongeBob! No, no, no, stop! Pinky! Pinky!",I'm a quitter!
Patrick:  You can't leave now. You'll blow it.,"Air is not good, Patrick. Air is not good."
"Patrick:  You're just being shy.  Don't worry, buddy. You're doi'’ fine.  I won't let you blow... this.  What kind of place is this?!  There's no water in here!",I tried to tell you!
Patrick: We've gotta get out of here!,You're... doing it... wrong...
"Patrick: Wait, no! We've got... to get... out. Sandy:  Come and get it! Y'all gonna like this... Sandy: There, that oughta do it! If y'all needed water, you shoulda asked.  I propose a toast, to new friends.  Hold on a second.  I hope you like your tea strong. Drink up. All: Ahhh... Squidward:  20 minutes in the bath seems like enough.   Another day!  Another day.","Ready for work!  Good morning, Squidward, I'm...   Not ready for work!"
Squidward: Whatever.,"Thanks for waiting, Squidward."
Squidward: I wasn't waiting.,"I was in such a hurry, I almost forgot my pants."
"Squidward: Yes, I saw that.","I guess I was in a panic, I mean I can't believe we're running so late for work, and you, huh, Squidward, can you believe it, are you panicking too? Late for work, late for work, we're running late for work, right?"
Squidward: Late? We're gonna be there fifteen minutes early!,"I know, only fifteen minutes early? Maybe we should take a shortcut!   Squidward, what are you doing?!"
"Squidward: SpongeBob, look.  We're walking in a straight line.",I don't follow.
Squidward: A straight line is the shortest distance between any two points!,"Speak English, brainiac!"
"Squidward: Well, see, you have point A , where you start, and then there's point...  point... I don't even know what I'm talking about!","Mmm, strawberry!"
SpongeBob's Clock: Tick!,"Oh no, now we're only going to be 14 minutes early for work!  Oh, there's got to be a shortcut around here somewhere!"
"Squidward: Oh, for the last time  straight line, point A, there's no shortcut!",There is always a shortcut!
Squidward: What moron told you that? Patrick:  There's always a shortcut! Squidward:  Huh.,"Squidward, I am going to find that shortcut!"
"Squidward: Look, the Krusty Krab is right at the end of the block! Mr. Krabs: Yoo-hoo!",You're not going to come with me?
"Squidward: No, SpongeBob. I'm just going to struggle through the rest of this walk, alone.","Well, I guess this is where we part ways. But I can't wait to see your face when you get to work and I'm already there!  That's the face! That's the look!    First you do a zig, then you take a little zag, that's how find you a shortcut! Crawl underneath the fence, struggle through a bush, and that's how you find a shortcut!  Huh?"
"Squidward: Straight line, point A to point B. You're still not getting it.","Oh, tartar sauce! Maybe I should've zagged when I zigged!  First you do a zag, crawl underneath the fence, then you take a little zig, that's how you find a shortcut!  There, that's better.   Now this is what I call a real great shortcut. Now all I have to do is remember my wilderness training so I don't get lost!"
"Sandy:  First rule of wilderness training, is map out your course, by taking note of local landmarks!","Local landmarks...  A-ha!  Right at this large and unusual shell.  Right at this abandoned sofa, and jog left at the broken fire hydrant.  There it is, the Krusty Krab!"
"Squidward: Ahhhh.... Mr. Krabs: Well, look at this. Lazing about.  Can I get you anything else, another pillow, maybe? A cappuccino machine? Squidward: No thanks, I got one!  Perfect. No customers. No SpongeBob. Mr. Krabs: Oh, for kelp sake. You're a lost cause.",The Krabby Krust?!  Is that the name of a restaurant?
"Sal: No, it's a typo.",Could you perhaps tell me how to get to the Krusty Krab from here?
Sal: Never heard of it.,"Oh, you should try it! It's the best place to eat in all of Bikini Bottom!  Here, take these coupons!"
Sal: Thanks! I'm going to go there right now!,"I thought you didn't know where the Krusty Krab was! Oh, what do I do now?"
"Sandy:  Remember, your landmarks!","Sandy's wilderness tips are always on the money!  Okay, let's see, I came from...no, I came...  I'm lost!  Hey, there's one of my landmarks! The broken fire hydrant!  Hello, hydrant! I'm going to call you Heidi. Heidi the Hydrant!  So many broken fire hydrants. What do I do now, Heidi? If only I could telephone Squidward. He'd help me out.  Hey, that thing looks kind of like a phone.  Wow, this is weird. It's like a phone, but you put money in it.  My last dime.  I hope this works."
Squidward: Krusty Krab. May I reluctantly help you?,"It's me, Squidward. SpongeBob. I'm calling from the payphone."
Squidward: You don't say. How's that shortcutting going?,Not good. I think I took a wrong turn at the abandoned sofa. All there is around here are broken fire hydrants. What should I do?!
"Operator: If you'd like to continue this call, please insert another dime.","I don't have a dime! Operator, please, please, can you tell me where I am?"
"Operator: If you'd like to know where you are, please insert another dime.","Uh, hold on!  Two nickels! I need a dime! Oh, I'm never going to get to work!"
Scott: What are ya doing?,Looking for a dime in this abandoned sofa!
"Scott: This is our abandoned sofa, pal!","What ya doing there, drinking soda?"
Scott: What's it tooya!,Isn't it a little early to be hitting the high-fructose corn-syrup?
"Scott:  Hey, listen! I know this gigantic soda isn't good for me, but sometimes it gives me the kick I need to start my busy day as a pedicab driver!","Ooh, you drive a pedicab?"
"Scott: Yes, sir!  You need a ride somewhere?","Yes! To the Krusty Krab, and step on it!"
"Scooter: Way to go, Scott! Charlie: Yeah, he's almost saved enough to attend a community college next year!","Thanks a lot, Scott! Stay in school!  Krusty Klam?!  Wait, Scott, come back!  Tartar sauce!"
SpongeBob's Clock: Tock!,"No! Over the cliff!  Through the toxic runoff!  Make a right at the disease-filled sewer pipe!  Face-first into this fetid muck! Over the garbage pile! Fall down this mountain of broken glass! Over the excruciatingly sharp razor-wire!  Up this massive hill!  That's...the Krusty Krab! And I'm still 2 minutes early!  I made it! I made it!  Oh, random Krusty Krab patrons! How I've missed out!  Oh, how I've missed your youthful faces!  I missed the bathroom, too!   But most of all, I missed you, choking guy!   Patrick? How did you get here?"
Patrick: Same way I always do. Scott gave me a ride in his pedicab.,"Squidward! Squidward, can you believe I made it?!"
"Squidward: Congratulations. Mr. Krabs: What are you doing, boy?! You're scaring all me customers with your foul stench!",Mr. Krabs!
"Mr. Krabs:  Oh no, lad, you're not coming in here looking like that!  You're going straight home for a nice long bubble bath!","Aye-aye, sir!"
"Squidward: What?! He gets to go home and take a bubble bath?! That's my thing! Mr. Krabs: Yes it is. And consequently, you are just neat as a pin! Now get to work! Squidward: I'm as neat as a pin? I'll show you neat as a pin!  Where's my bubble bath, Mr. Krabs?! Mr. Krabs: There you go!  Now get to work! Sal: Uh, you guys open? I have coupons! Buy one, get one free! Mr. Krabs: Oh no! It says Buy one for a fee! Sal: Oh! I stand corrected! Sandy:  There we go! SpongeBob, I got all the leaves ra...  SpongeBob, what are all these leaves doing here? You said you were going to rake them!",I am raking the leaves.
Sandy: But they're still all over the ground!,"Sandy, I can't rake any faster.  These are big leaves.  And they keep breaking into more leaves."
Sandy:  Then go scrape the salt lick or somethin'! We got to get this stuff done before it's too late!,"What's the big rush anyway, Sandy?"
"Sandy:  I told ya, SpongeBob...  I'm hibernating next week.",Hibernating? What's that?
Sandy:  It's when I go to sleep for the whole winter.,Can I do that?
"Sandy:  No, silly. It's a mammalian thing.","Sandy, you may not have noticed, but I is 100% ma-male."
"Sandy:  Enough chitter-chatter, SpongeBob. We don't have much time left!","Why, Sandy? When does your... carburation begin?"
Sandy: In one week!,"But Sandy, that only gives us 1, 2, 3...  168 more hours of playtime!"
Sandy: You're telling me. And there's still so much stuff to do! We gotta climb some things!,Climb!
Sandy: We gotta jump off of stuff!,Jump!
Sandy: We gotta ride!,Ride!
Sandy: I don't wanna go to sleep yet!,"Wait, Sandy!"
Sandy: I can't burn carbs in my sleep!,Sandy?
Sandy: What?!,"Sandy, I'm willing to sacrifice any of my time that I haven't already sold to Mr. Krabs to you."
"Sandy: Well, I'm glad, SpongeBob, 'cause for the next seven days, it's gonna be you, me, and these sweatbands!  Yee-ha! Unnamed Fish #1: Uh... I can explain. Sandy: I'm hotter than a hickory-smoked sausage! Woo-hoo! Girl: Maybe, if we sing that song, he'll come to life. Billy: Ready? Both:  Oh, there once was a sandman...",Life's as extreme as you want to make it!  Whoo!
Girl: Maybe we didn't sing it right.,"Yeahhh...  Whew, what a workout.  I'm going to be feeling this tomorrow.  Ow."
"Sandy: I got to say, I'm impressed with you, SpongeBob. You're making this the best prehibernation week ever.","Well, I'd better get home before Gary chews up the sofa again.  Good night, Gary."
"Sandy: Nothing like a refreshing morning dip, huh, SpongeBob?",W-what h-happened to s-sleeping?
"Sandy: I'll be asleep all winter! We only got three days for fun.  Well, hurry now! The giant clams like to feed at this hour!  Isn't this GREAT?!","Yeah, I've never played extreme jacks before!"
"Sandy: Okay, SpongeBob, this one's going to be fun! We just whack each other with these giant ear cleaners 'til one of us falls off!  On your mark... get set...","Sandy, are you sure we're supposed to be standing up here?"
"Sandy: Go!  Come on, SpongeBob, we're goin' for a tandem ride through the park!","Gee, that sounds safe!...I mean, fun.  Okay, I'm ready! I thought you said we were riding through the park, Sandy?"
"Sandy: I did, SpongeBob: the industrial park!  This is where the real action is!  This part gets pretty technical! Yee-haw! Now for the speed course. Hold on!  I hope we make it!  I'm havin' fun, too!  Wake up, slowpoke!  We're going fly-fishin'!","This squirrel's trying to kill me! Any more of these stunts and I'll be reduced to a puddle!  Wait a minute, I've got to talk my way out of this! Sandy, I think I need to tell you something."
Sandy: What is it?,"Well, it's just that I'm feeling sort of...  I just feel like maybe I need to..."
"Sandy: Hold that thought, SpongeBob! 'Cause it's time for a down-home favorite!  Find the hay in the needle stack!","Ow-ow, ow-ow-ow!  ...OUCH."
Sandy: Did you find it?,Not yet.
Sandy: Well I'm going to look over here!,You do that.
"Sandy: Found it, SpongeBob!  Come on! Best two out of three.",Gotta hide! Uh-G-Gotta hide!  Home? No. Gary can't keep a secret.  Under a rock? It's so original!
"Sandy: SpongeBob?!  SpongeBob?  Where are you, little square dude?  SpongeBob's tie! And all his other little dressin's! But-but he always folds his clothes before running around IN THE NUUUDE! Something terrible must have happened to him!  Alright, listen up, y'all! I'm rounding up a search party! SpongeBob's gone missing! Mr. Krabs:  Man the lifeboats! Sandy: Alpha Team, you search uptown, Gold Team searches downtown. Any questions? Frank: Gold Team rules! Sandy: Now get movin'!  SpongeBob?  Someone look up there!  Put your doors, and friends into it!  Come on! He could be anywhere in these sulfur fields! Clay: Hey, SpongeBo-ob!  …Well, at least I still have my personality. Sandy: Check in this here moist cave! Sandy: Status report! Small Fish:  He's not at the Poison Sea Urchin cove... Sandy: Well, look again! Vera:  He's not at the leech farm! Sandy: Well, look again! Squidward: He's not in my thoughts. Sandy: Well, THINK AGAIN!  Attention, Bikini Bottom, the time has come to double, no, triple our efforts! Squidward: How about a break? We've been at it for days! Gale: Think about the children! Sandy: That's a good idea! Use the children to crawl into small places you couldn't normally reach. Frank:  This is a load of barnacles... Sandy: I heard that! No one's going anywhere until we find SpongeBob!! Frank: Uh... uh, wait!  Uh, here he is! Sandy: That ain't SpongeBob! SpongeBob is square! Francis:   I'm ready, I'm ready? Sandy: No you ain't! Clay: I found SquareBob! Sandy: That's just a cereal box. Besides, he's yellow. Charlie:  Uh... here he is! Hey, can I go home now? Tina:  Oh, look! He's up in the sky! Sandy: He's not...huh?  They must have gone to search some more.  SpongeBob, where are you?!  You under there?!  Nope! Unnamed Fish #1: Uhh, I can explain. Sandy:  SpongeBob?!  Nope!  Nope!  Nope! SPONGEBOB!!!! WHERE ARE YOU!?!?!?! Unnamed Fish #9:  That squirrel's gone crazy. Woman: But she'll never look under a rock.","Ahahaha, you said it! Sandy'll never find us!  Hey, wait, you don't understand!"
"Squidward:  Oh, look! It is I, SpongeBob, out here in the open! Sandy: SpongeBob?!","AAAAAHHH! C'MON, LET ME BACK IN! You don't understand!"
"Sandy: Oh, SpongeBob, I was so worried! I thought something terrible happened!  Come on! There's just enough time to go atom smashing!","Sandy, wait!"
Sandy: There's no time to wait!! HIBERNATION!!,"Sandy, you've got to make time! This is important!  I...am a man!  Okay, Sandy, I...I...I-I-I CAN'T PLAY WITH YOU ANYMORE! I JUST CAN'T TAKE THE GAMES!! THEY'RE TEARING ME APART!!!  There, I said it! Now just promise we can still be friends. Please, Sandy? This isn't easy, I... Sandy?  I never thought I'd say it, but thank Neptune for hibernation!"
"Patrick:  WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?!?! Meredith: Did you get stuck in the pet door again? Isopod: I ain't gonna lie to you, Meredith, ,  I am not a happy camper! Patrick: Announcer: We'll be right back with The Giant Isopod Stuck in the Pet Door show, after these messages! Nick: Homes, homes, homes, homes, homes! I'm Nick Fishkins and I wanna buy your home! Patrick:  What? Nick: You heard me, I wanna buy your home! Patrick: But my home's not for sale. Nick:  It doesn't matter to me, any condition,  any size, I'll buy your home! Sold! Patrick:  Sold? Where am I gonna live now?","What's happening, Patrick, you going on a hike?"
Patrick: It's a forever hike.,A forever hike?
Patrick: Yeah. All because of Nick Fishkins.,Who's Nick Fishkins?
Patrick: He shows up on television and buys your home and there's nothing you can do about it.  Now I am doomed to walk the seas without a home.,"Aw, don't worry, Patrick, you can move in with me. We'll be roommates!"
Patrick: Wow! Nick: I'm Nick Fishkins and I wanna buy your home! Sold!,"Well, we might as well spend the night here. It's not so bad. We could make a home out of all this trash!"
"Patrick:  Don't forget to make a garage for our new boat! Squidward:  Hm? Huh, how strange. Usually, I wake up each morning with a dark feeling of dread gnawing at my stomach. But today, I feel positively... happy!  ♪Smilin' rainbows, smilin' sun, smilin' rocks, and vegetation! Look ma, I'm dancing, and hear my song! The world is lovely when nothing is wrong! Everything's smiling, yes even me! Is this what they call feeling happy?!♪","Morning, Squidward!"
"Squidward: Good morning, SpongeBob!  Oh, that's why I felt great this morning, there was no SpongeBob. Patrick:  Hi, Squidward! Squidward:  Oh, what did you numbskulls do with the trash?",Built a house.
Squidward: What the-- why? Patrick: Cause Nick Fishkins bought my home and then he bought SpongeBob's home.,So now we live here.
"Squidward: Oh, why didn't you just use the money that Nick Fishkins gave you to rent a room or buy a new home? Patrick: Well, he hasn't paid us yet!","Yeah, he said it right on the TV, I wanna buy your home! But we haven't seen any money!"
"Squidward: Ohhh... let me get this straight. You saw a TV commercial of Nick Fishkins saying he would buy your home and without meeting him or signing anything, you believe your homes have been sold? Now doesn't that seem weird, even to you? Patrick: Really weird! Squidward: Oh, listen you dumb--  Uh, you know, looks like you guys got Fishkinned, and well, there's nothing you can do about that!","Ready for work, Mr. Krabs!"
"Mr. Krabs:  Wait a minute! What's the matter with you, boy?  You look like you slept in a pile of trash!",A pile-of-trash house! Patrick and I built one out back with all your garbage!
Mr. Krabs: With my garbage? On my land?! I'll be chargin' ye a reasonable rental fee.,How much?
Mr. Krabs: Hmm... your paycheck oughtta cover it!,"Gee, I didn't know being homeless was so expensive."
"Squidward:  Ah, work is done!  Now I can go home to a SpongeBob-free zone and rearrange my doily collection!",I miss the old neighborhood! I think I'm gonna visit my old house tonight!
"Squidward: Uh, no, no, you don't wanna do that!",Why?
"Squidward: Well, a family has moved in there, with a lot of kids, and they don't like to be disturbed.",How many's a lot?
"Squidward: Oh, like, pfft, 12 kids!",But if I just ask politely to visit do you think they--
"Squidward: And they don't speak English! Uh, the Fishtraps only speak... German! Patrick:  Maybe I can move in with whoever's in my house. Squidward: No, no, no, uh, a band lives there now! Patrick: A rock band? Squidward: Um, yes. Patrick: Cause my house is a rock? Squidward: Yes, a big rock band with like eight people and all sorts of musical equipment so there's only room for musicians!","Hey, I could learn German!"
"Patrick: And I could learn what learn is. Squidward: Mmmm, nice! Ah, it's like a beautiful dream! So peaceful, no more aggravation!  What is that porous terror up to now? Oh no, he's expecting a big family that speaks German!  Uh, German, hallo?",Ach! Guten morgen! Mein name ist SpongeBob! (Oh! Good morning! My name is SpongeBob!)
Squidward: Say what?,Guten morgen! Mein name ist SpongeBob! Ich bin gekommen um mein alte heimat besuchen. (Good morning! My name is SpongeBob! I have come to visit my old home.)
"Squidward: Uh, please, vould you speaken-zee English, I need za bractize!","Huh? Oh, ja, I mean, sure, good morning! My name is SpongeBob, what is your name?"
Squidward: Umm... Gerhard.,"Well, hello, Gerhard, I used to live here. Just stopped by to visit my old home."
"Squidward: Ach, meine Neptune, uh, now is nein such a good time mit the wife and zuch!",Wife? Where is she?
"Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob. Squidward:  She's shy... well, I must be going! Mein wifenz calling me for zupper! She is a fine Gutenchef of Fudenschlop!","Um, would you mind if I stay for zupper?  Whatchya having?"
Squidward: Umm... kerglooginpfiefer mit schlusinberry klabber sauz.,"Kerglooginpfiefer, that's my favorite! Uh, what's your wife's name?"
"Squidward: I don't know... Hedvig!  Dunt movin! Not a schtepp!  Nein, nein! No moven sie! Sitz!  Hey, man, like, what's happening? Patrick: I missed my house, and I was hoping I could move back in. Squidward: Oh, sorry, dude, no room. This place is, like, filled with band members and musical instruments. Patrick: What do you play? Squidward: Oh, pfft, the electric clarinet. Patrick: There's no such thing! Squidward:  Sure there is. Patrick: Prove it! Squidward: I'll be right back!","Oh, Gerhard! Are you coming back?"
Squidward:,Hello!  You must be Hedvig!
"Squidward: Hedvig?  Oh, oh ja, that's me, Hedvig!",I have heard so much about your kerglooginpfiefer mit schlusinberry klabber sauz! Can't wait to try it.
"Squidward: One--  One second!  Tonight's zupper is to go, so please, to go!",Well aren't your twelve little German children gonna sing for me while I eat?
"Squidward: I don't have children!  I mean- I mean, ja, ja, outside please!",I love outdoor concerts.
"Squidward: Uh, groovy enough for ya, man? Patrick: That was great! You should give lessons to my ex-neighbor, Squidward! He stinks! Patrick: What's going on?",Shhh! The Fishtrap children are gonna sing!
"Squidward:  ♪Ve are der little kiddievinks, der kiddievinks, der kiddievinks, ve are der little kiddievinks, ve love to sing all day!♪",I think the littlest kiddywink is off-key.
"Patrick: They need a band. I'll go talk to the guys that live in my old place, and see if they can come over to play along!",Yeah!
"Squidward:  That's it, I'm done!",Squidward?! What are you doing in the Fishtraps' house?
"Squidward: You idiots! It's not the Fishtraps' house, it's your house, and that is still Patrick's house! You just saw a commercial-- that's all! Patrick: So... is Nick Fishkins gonna live in my house? Squidward:  He doesn't live in the houses he buys.","Well if he doesn't live in them, what does he do with them?"
"Squidward: He flips the houses, you dimwits! He buys houses then resells them for a profit! He flips houses for a living! Patrick: He flips houses for a living? Squidward: Yes! And I'm calling Nick Fishkins right now to come over and flip my house, so I can move away!",Poor Squidward. We should do something really nice for him!
Patrick:  I know!,"Alright, Patrick! On the count of three! One... two... three!"
"Nick: Say, is this the home of Squidward Tentacles? The one that was for sale?",Sure is!
Nick: Yeesh. This place is a wreck! I'm Nick Fishkins and I do not wanna buy this home! Not sold! Squidward:  What happened?,We flipped your house for ya.
"Squidward: Who's that driving away? Patrick: That was Nick Fishkins. Squidward: And what did he say? Patrick: He said Yeesh! Who'd wanna live in that thing? Not sold! Squidward: I... I can't believe you did that! SpongeBob and Patrick: You're welcome! Squidward: Ow! Ach du lieber... Frank: …and this is the maximum security level. Since this is your first day, I'll let you peek at our number one inmate.  He's too dangerous to let him around the other inmates. Police Officer: Why? What he'd do? Rob a bank? Frank: Worse! He'd tried to steal the Krabby Patty formula. Police Officer: Oh! Oh-kay. Frank: So that's why we keep him behind these impenetrable 6-inch steel doors.  Of course, it helps to lock it.  He's gone! He's so small, he could be anywhere! Police Officer: He could be right under our noses!  Umm… Frank, where's your mustache? Plankton: Ha-ha! Those fools will never find me now!  Ah, come on, baby. You know how long I've been in stir. Karen: Get out!  And stay out! You two time loser! Plankton: After everything I've done for you! Karen: BEAT IT, YOU JAIL BIRD, AND TAKE ALL OF YOUR JUNK, TOO! Plankton: Well, that's just great.  Hey! It's my old guitar. I used to play it when I was in that band as a kid. Man, those were good times.  Okay, everybody! One two… one two three!  You know, I don't think I've had any good times.","♪Oh, I wish I was grinding up the Krabby Patties. That's what I really love to do. Take a couple Boo-Ooh-Ooh! And a pinch of Awoogah! A teaspoon of *raspberry*♪  ♪Then I mix some of this and put it over there, as I write this song.♪"
"Plankton:  He's singing about the Krabby Patty. If I could just get him to explain that song, I'll have the Krabby Patty formula!",♪Mix in some…♪
"Plankton: Hi, SpongeBob.",♪Nyah-Nyah-Nyah♪
Plankton: That's a real nice song.,♪Add a splash of wee…♪
Plankton: But could you explain those wee parts?,"♪And when I'm done, I chop up some… Love.♪"
"Plankton:  Gahh!  Are you out of your mind? Er, I mean, that was a delightful song you were singing.","Thanks, Plankton.  Mr. Krabs makes me censor out all the patty ingredients from my lyrics."
"Plankton: Oh, that's terrible. Krabs shouldn't stifle a true artist like you! Go ahead and sing your patty song uncensored!",I know what you're doing!
"Plankton: What, me? I'm not trying to steal the patty formula!",You want me to… join your band!
Plankton: What band? I don't have a band.,"Oh, but you can't fool me! Not when you got an awesome guitar like that! And only a true rocker would have hair as greasy and nasty as yours. It'll be so cool! We could write songs together!"
Plankton: Songs?  Yes! And you could teach me your Krabby Patty songs!,"Yay! Come on, let's go get our band together! Patrick, Patrick!"
"Patrick: SpongeBob, SpongeBob!","Patrick, I've got big news!"
"Patrick: Me, too! Me, too!",What's your news?
Patrick:  I found out where boogers come from.,"Ew, really?"
Patrick:  Uh-huh. What's your news?,Plankton just asked me to join his Rock-N-Roll band!  Can Patrick join our band?
"Plankton: Sure, whatever.","Hear that, Patrick? You're in."
Patrick: All right! I play a mean belly.,"Wow, Patrick, we're gonna be famous!"
"Squidward: Give me a break. You don't know anything about music! Too bad you're not a musical genius, like me.","Oh, Squidward…"
Squidward: What the…,Would you help us by joining our band?
"Squidward:  Well, I could help you, but I wouldn't soil my art playing Rock-N-Roll; dressing all in black, wearing boots covered in spikes…  playing enormous stadiums filled with screaming, adoring fans…  clapping, demanding encores, cheering me…  Oh, uh, changed my mind. I'll join your band and help you bottom feeders…  But I gotta get in shape first!","Isn't this great, Plankton? Squidward is gonna help us!"
"Plankton: Hmm? Uh, yeah, great.","You know, Patrick, being in a band gives you the liberty to dress with a little more… Uh, how should I put this?"
Patrick: Yeah?,"Well, with just a little more…"
"Patrick:  Go ahead, say it, SpongeBob!","You know, pizzazz!"
Patrick:  Perhaps you didn't notice… My new hairdo.,"Whoa-ho-ho, I stand corrected!"
"Patrick: And unlike your nasty, little wig…  Mine is real!","Man, how'd you grow that so fast?"
"Patrick: Natural talent, watch this…","Whoo, yeah!  Dig that fancy follicle work!"
"Patrick: Hey, check this one out.","Oh, man, Squidward's not gonna want to miss this."
Squidward: Hello?,"Hi, Squidward. Aren't you coming to band practice?"
Squidward:  Are you kidding? I've got a lot of work to do before I'm famous!,"Okay, then, we'll keep your seat warm.  Patrick?"
"Patrick: I'm on it. Plankton:  Greetings, fellow band-mates.","Hey, Plankton, what's that?"
"Plankton:  T-shirts. Both: Ooh! Oh, boy! Oh, boy! Oh, boy!",Ah…  Plankton and the… Patty Stealers?
"Plankton:  Uh, if you guys don't like the name, uh…",I… LOVE IT! It's kind of vague and mysterious.
Patrick: Can I get mine in pink?  It looks like a tattoo!,"Hey, Plankton, can our first song go like this?  And then turn into one of those songs that goes…"
"Plankton:  Yes, perfect. Now all we need are the lyrics. You know something personal. Maybe a secret you know, or a favorite recipe, hmm?",Or… One about my new friend Plankton?
Plankton: Stop it!,Or the ventures of wholesome…
Plankton:  The best kind of lyrics are the ones that are deep and revealing. Something only you know…  Secret recipe. Patrick: I once searched for my innermost secrets. All I found was this.,"Is that what you mean, Plankton? What is that?"
Plankton: It's my… uh… recording equipment.,"Oh, my gosh! What do I do?"
"Plankton:  Just take a seat here, and I'll strap you in.  Now just relax and let the equipment do its job.  Now, let's see what's locked in his subconscious.","♪Time to feed him. Time to feed him. Now it's Gary's feeding time. Mrow mrow meow, mrow mrow meow.♪"
Plankton: Nope.,"♪Brush, brush, brush my teeth. Gently keep them clean.♪"
Plankton: The Krabby Patty Formula's gotta be in here somewhere.  What's going-  I'm a failure.,"Cheer up, Plankton. We've still got a whole week before our first gig at the Krusty Krab."
Plankton:  At the Krusty Krab?,"Uh-huh, but old man Krabs doesn't want us bugging the customers. So, we have to go in after hours when nobody's there."
"Plankton: When nobody's there? Squidward: My perfect dream-body. Narrator: One week later… Plankton: Oh, no, it's the cops. I can't let them see me!",Why?
"Plankton: Why? Uh, cops are autograph hounds. Yeah, they're always after me.","Mm, that's tough. Don't worry, I'll hide you."
"Officer John: Hey, what are you kids up to this late at night?",We're on our way to our first gig. We're in a band.
"Officer John: A band, huh, well, that's, uh… Oh.  Uh, you've got a, uh…","Got a, uh, what?"
Officer John: Uh… It's right…,Yes?
"Officer John:  Just keep your nose clean, kid.","Sure thing, officer.  They're gone."
"Plankton: You will never speak of this to anyone.  Come on, come on, hurry up.","Don't worry, I just need to get the key out."
"Plankton: Give me that, you incompetent fool.  Yes, the Krabby Patty Formula's mine! Uh, I mean, we'll have a great time!  Now where does Krabs keep that formula?","Whoo, let's rock!"
Patrick: Yeah! Squidward: We're gonna be stars!,"All right! Squidward, are you ready?"
Squidward:  I'm ready!,"Okay! Patrick, are you ready?  Plankton, are you ready?  Plankton?  PLANKTON!"
Plankton: Uh… I'm ready?,Wait a minute… Was this band just a front so you could steal the Krabby Patty Secret Formula?
"Plankton: What? No, I was in it for the music, man! Plankton: Well, at least I'm back to my old cell. Police Officer: Oh, no, you're not. We've got a special cell for you. Plankton: But I liked my old cell. Police Officer: Then you're gonna love this one.","There's no time to waste, Plankton.  We've only got 22 years to practice before our next gig. A one and a two…"
"French Narrator: Today,  we study the gentle of rhythm of the sea. Narrator:  Gentle rhythm!  Oh, never mind. Gary: Meow.",Uh-huh!  Uh-huh! Ocean wave!!  Tropical breeze.
Patrick: Whirlpool!,Reverse Whirlpool!
"Squidward: SpongeBob, turn that noise off!  This'll get his attention.",Oh!  Oh.
Squidward: Sponge...,"Oh, Squidward! You've swallowed your clarinet again. I'll get it!"
Squidward: No!  No!  Don't...  touch...  me!,"I'll get a better look.  Mmmmm. It's too dark. This calls for extreme measures.  Got it. Hey, the pointy bit at the end is missing!"
Squidward: It's called a reeEEEEeeed!,What's a  reeEEEEeeed!?
Squidward: Great!  My reed...  is still...  stuck in my...  throat!  And it's all your fault!,There's only one thing to do. We gotta see Sandy.
"Sandy:  Hmm.  Just as I thought.  You have that pointy bit from the end of your clarinet stuck in your throat. That was  clumsy of you. Squidward: I didn't! It was SpongeBob who... Sandy: Well, there's nothing to do for it, but surgery.",Oooooooh!
"Sandy: Now is my chance to try out my new invention - the solution to your problem. Squidward: A submarine? Sandy: That's right, Squidward. Let me show ya.  This whole lab is called the Chamber of Shrinkage.  I'll shrink the sub and myself to microscopic size...  ...then navigate through  your brain,  down into your throat,  then extract the reed  from inside. Simple! Squidward: Why don't you just shrink the reed? Sandy: Oh, Squidward, always wanting to do it the hard way.  We're all set, Squidward! Are you ready for the sedative? Squidward: Are you sure this is safe? Sandy: Completely! As long as someone competent is behind the wheel. Hey, what's that?!?  Hi-yah! Sweet dreams, partner. Oops! I forgot to pack food for the trip. I've got to get some supplies from my treedome, and I need you to guard the submarine while I'm gone.  Do you think you can handle it, SpongeBob?","Can do, Sandy!  Hut-hut-hut, hut-hut-hut! Hut-hut-hut, huttidy-hut-hut!"
"Patrick: Hi, SpongeBob.",Hello citizen!
Patrick: What are you doing?,Guarding Sandy's submarine.
"Patrick: Wow, I've never been in a submarine. Let's look inside!",Can't. I'm guarding it.
"Patrick: Oh, man! Could you guard it from the inside?","You're riiiight!  Patrick, you're a genius!"
SpongeBob and Patrick: Ooohhh!,SpongeBob and Patrick reporting for guard duty!
"Patrick: Hmm...  Shrink. I do have a lot of issues. SpongeBob and Patrick: Prettyyyy. Sandy: I'm back, SpongeBob!  Uh-oh... Patrick: You're so tiny!  Ahhh!! A giant SpongeBob!! Sandy: PATRICK! SPONGEBOB! Patrick: Sandy's grown to gigantic size!","I don't think Sandy grew, Patrick. I think we shrunk!"
"Patrick: That's silly. Don't you think it's more likely that the entire world grew? Sandy: Hi, Squidward.  Well, the submarine is safely inside you. Squidward: Wonderful.  Wait! If you're out here, then who's in here?! Sandy: Well, why don't you take a look for yourself? Squidward: SpongeBob and Patrick are piloting a miniature submarine inside my head?!?! SpongeBob and Patrick... SpongeBob and... Sandy: You better calm down, Squidward. With them little critters inside you, I wouldn't be moving around too much. You could knock them into something important. [Squidward swallows nervously and stops. The submarine is shown inside Squidward's nose.","Where are we, Patrick??"
"Patrick:  I don't know, but it's a real dump. Sandy:  SpongeBob, Patrick! Can you hear me?",It's Sandy!
"Patrick: She's in there?!?!  I'LL SAVE YOU, SANDY!!! Sandy: Stop it, you itty-bitty idiot!","Sandy, where are you? Where are we!?"
"Sandy: You're trespassing, SpongeBob -- in my lab, in my submarine -- and you're trespassing  inside of Squidward! Patrick: I thought this place was in bad shape? Squidward:  I heard that! Sandy:  Let's get you out of there, SpongeBob. All you need to do is locate the autopilot. It'll safely take you through your mission and then out the extraction point.",Um... we broke it.
"Sandy:  Stop it! What are you trying to do? Kill him?! Sandy:  This is approximately 17 times harder to drive than a boat mobile. Which you've never successfully done...  so, just take it nice and easy.",No problemo! Nice and... EASYYYYYY!!!!!
"Squidward: So, how's it going?  I can't control my eyeballs!! Sandy: Don't worry, it's temporary. Now, just sign this! Squidward: Okay... now what is this!?! Sandy: Oh, just your autograph for when you're, uh... famous. Squidward: Oh, of course. I've got  head shots, you know.  What the...!? Sandy: Squidward! Squidward: What's happening??",Give me that!
"Patrick: No, give it back! Sandy: They're hitting your central nervous system! Squidward: Oh, ya think? Sandy: You're not in control of your actions!  Hey! Squidward: Oh, I'm sorry, I'm not in control of my actions... Sandy: They've gone off course!  Oh my gosh! You're out of control!","Eww, where are we?   MAYDAY! MAYDAY! WE'RE SINKING, AND PATRICK WON'T STOP SCREAMING!"
Sandy: The stomach acid levels are way too high!,The reserve tanks are almost empty.  PATRICK!
"Patrick: Finished! Sandy: SpongeBob, you gotta get out of there. It's a straight shot up the stomach to the esophagus where the reed is.  You can complete your mission if we can just access an alternative fuel.  Like natural gas.",Natural gas?
"Patrick: Like this! Squidward: Stop burping inside me, that's disgusting! Sandy: Wait a minute, Squidward. He might be on to something. Squidward: What? Sandy: If you can make a big enough burp... Patrick: We can filter the CO2 through our ballast tanks, refire the engines, and ride the shock wave out of here.",Wow...
"Sandy: He's right. Squidward: What!? Sandy: We're going through with your plan, Patrick!",Yay!
"Patrick: What plan? Sandy: Now burp, Squidward! Lives are on the line!!",I never thought it would end this way...  It's working!
"SpongeBob and Patrick: Wheeeeee! Sandy: They're headed for the esophagus!  Phew, what have you been eating!? Squidward: Morons.",SpongeBob to Sandy. We've reached the foreign obstruction.
"Sandy: Okay, you're going to have to go out and dislodge it somehow.",I'm already on it.
French Narrator: Two hours later.,This stupid hammer won't break anything.
"Patrick: SpongeBob, do what you were born to do. Dance!","You're right, Patrick! Whirlpool Spin!!"
"Sandy:  Good work, guys. Mission accomplished.  Now all you have to do is... Squidward: Get out of my body! GO! Patrick: Grow? Sandy, Squidward, and SpongeBob: Noooooo!!! Mr. Krabs:  Almost ready to open.  There. Squidward: Good morning, Mr. Krabs... Mr. Krabs: Hello, Squidward. Neptune's trousers! What's gotten into you?","Reporting for Duty, Mr. Krabs."
"Patrick:  Squidward, the toilet's backed up again. Johnny Elaine: Witnesses are flocking around the unveiling of Bikini Bottom's newest bank: The Bank of Bikini Bottom Bank. Mayor:  The first one hundred customers who join Bank of Bikini Bottom Bank will receive instant interest on their deposit. Mr. Krabs: Instant interest?! Well, that's practically giving money away!  SpongeBob! You're in charge while I run down to the Bank of Bikini Bottom Bank! I gotta get down there before they run out of dough!  Money, here I co- Oo-oo-oh... Nancy Suzy Fish: Thanks for banking with Bank of Bikini Bottom Bank!  And here's your instant interest. Gus: Free moolah, just for joining?! Yes! Mr. Krabs: I'm in money heaven! Officer John:  Heads up! We got a live one... Nancy Suzy Fish: Welcome to Bank of Bikini... Mr. Krabs: Yeah, hi! I want to see all of your money! Nancy Suzy Fish: Excuse me? Mr. Krabs: Show me where the money lives! I'd bet you got a lot!  I'd like to see all of it! I'm a huge fan of money!  Oh! H-Hey! Get your hands off...   Anchovies... Mr. Krabs:  Good day, madam! I would like to take a look at your safe, please! Nancy Suzy Fish: Sure thing, sir... Mr. Krabs: Not again...   Scallops! Mr. Krabs:  Good day, gentlemen! Officer John and Nat Peterson: Good day, ma'am! Mr. Krabs:  Hello, young missy! Nancy Suzy Fish: Well hello, ma'am. How can we help you today? Mr. Krabs:  So far so good... Nancy Suzy Fish: Ma'am? Mr. Krabs:  They haven't thrown me out yet... Nancy Suzy Fish: Ma'am? Mr. Krabs:  It's all coming together now... Nancy Suzy Fish: Can I help you, ma'am? A withdraw? A transfer? Anything!? Free interest!? Mr. Krabs: Oh, Oh-ho-oh yes! I'll have that please! Nancy Suzy Fish: Okay, but you'll have to make a deposit first. Mr. Krabs: Oh, of course!  Here's me prized penny to deposit it into a new account! Nancy Suzy Fish: Okay! I'll set it right up! Mr. Krabs:  Wait!  Uh, what'cha doing? Penny doesn't want to be crammed in there with all those other coins. She wants a money condo of her own! Nancy Suzy Fish: Okay. You want a safe deposit box then? Mr. Krabs: Oh, yes! Penny will have one of those! Nancy Suzy Fish: Uh, this way please. Mr. Krabs: Wait! Can i...have one moment with me penny? Alone? Nancy Suzy Fish:  Make it quick. We're closing in five minutes. Mr. Krabs: Oh, penny...I'm gonna miss ye... It's inhuman I tell ya! Penny, penny...one last kiss goodbye.  It's just you and me now little penny! It's a wee bit cramped in here! Nat Peterson:  Oh, well that looks secure... Were you people trained in a barn? Mr. Krabs: This can't be true!  'Tis true! I landed in money nirvan-er!  Me wildest dreams finally come true!","Mr. Krabs, I'm done watering down the ketchup. Did you want me to... Mr. Krabs? Mr. Krabs? Mr. Krabs!"
Squidward: Would you pipe down!?,"Sorry, Squidward! I can't find Mr. Krabs and he said he'd be right back! I'm getting a little concerned..."
Squidward: That's nice...and...interesting...,"I can't take it anymore! I'm gonna go look for him!  Hold on, Mr. Krabs! I'm coming for ya!  Mr. Krabs!  Mr. Krabs!  Mr. Krabs!  Mr. Krabs!"
"Mr. Krabs: Well, time to head home!  Whoo hoo! I hope to see each and every one of ya on the outside!  Blimey, I'm locked in!  I guess I'm trapped here all night!  With all of this moolah! So much moolah...  But no one to tell about it! Time to rustle up me some friends!","Oh, hi Pearl! Is Mr. Krabs here?"
Pearl: No.,"Pearl, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but Mr. Krabs is missing!"
Pearl:  Oh my gosh.,I know!
"Pearl: Oh, my, gosh.",Don't worry! I'll find him!
"Pearl:  Oh my gosh!  Call him on his cell! Mr. Krabs: You look absolutely stunning tonight, Mrs. Greenback. Waiter!   Oui, oui, monsieur, what can I get you and zee lady tonight?  The lady would like to start with a million clams. A side of investments, and hold the taxes. I'll have the same. But with extra no taxes.  Eh. Such a friendly fella. Good lookin' too. I'm almost gonna regret not leavin' him a tip.  Hello?",Mr. Krabs? Are you okay?
"Mr. Krabs: I'm fine boy! In fact, I'm dancing with a beautiful lady.","Oh, that's nice."
"Mr. Krabs: Yes, and she's made entirely out of money.",What? Where are you?
"Mr. Krabs: I'm locked in the bank vault, and having the time of me life. Oh, and I think I'm running out of oxygen, and it's making me lose my mind.","I gotta save Mr. Krabs!  Patrick! Patrick, you gotta help me, buddy! I need to break into a bank!"
"Patrick: What?! SpongeBob SquarePants, we have been friends for a long time, and you've asked me to do some crazy things over the years. But breaking into a bank?  Has to be the coolest! Mr. Krabs:  Ah. This is the life.  Sun, sand, and surf. And of course. Mrs. Greenback by my side. What's that? Ah, don't start on me now. I'm sure this remote island has a food source! Krabs just hasn't found it yet, that's all. I'll just… eh, Heh eh-heh. So hungry.","Coast is clear! What's the plan, buddy?"
"Patrick: Okay. First we climb up the walls.  Then, we slide down the chimney and eat up all the milk and cookies they left out for us!","Well, I don't see a chimney. But we could try getting in through a roof vent. If only we had a way to scale this wall."
"Patrick: Luckily, I brought the bank breaking kit! Uh. How about this?",A bunch of old shoelaces?
Patrick: It's as close as I'll ever get to having shoes.,I wish we had something stronger. But this'll have to do.
"Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob! I got an idea! Let's use this grappling hook!",This vent will surely lead us straight to Mr. Krabs!
Patrick: Let's get him!  Cool! Let's do that again!,"Not now, Patrick. We're running out of time. And more importantly, Mr. Krabs is running out of oxygen."
"Mr. Krabs:  Ohhh! So hungry!  Oh, why did I come to this uninhabit-abl-able island? Why did I do it? What! Huh, why did I say all that to Mrs. Greenback? I miss her… why isn't she? Mrs. Greenback! Where could she be? What have I done?  Ah! Ms. Greenback! Oh, Ms. Greenback.  You're okay! I was so worried.  I'm so sorry, you must never run away like that again.  What's this?! Ah! Little miss! What the Neptune?!  A slimy money dragon! You're not sucking away me fortune without a fight!  Give me back Mrs. Greenback you beast!","Patrick, you ready?"
Patrick: This lock won't know what hit it!,"Ah, careful Patrick. Use finesse."
"Patrick: Oh, right!  I'll use the finesse. Bank Manager: Good morning, gentlemen. Patrick: We've been rumbled! Run! Scatter! Scamper! Save yourself! Bank Manager: What's all this about?  May I help you with anything, sir?","Ah. Yes, I need to make a withdrawal. I need to withdraw one Mr. Krabs!"
"Bank Manager: I assure you, Mr. SquarePants, we've received no such deposit. Mr. Krabs: I've gotcha now, money sucker! That does it, Lizard-breath! It's you or me, now! Just you and me!  Ooh! I conquered the money dragon! Victory! Woo! Bank Manager: Security!  And don't forget your… eh… deposit. Mr. Krabs: You know, boyo. Through this whole ordeal, I've learned a little something about greed. A little something about isolation. Heh. Even a little something about love. And you know what I realized through it all?",That you can't put a price on freedom?
"Mr. Krabs: Barnacles no, boy! I realized that they didn't pay interest on me deposit!  Hey, you cheapskates! Give me me interest!  Well. What do you know? I doubled me money. Squidward:  One glorious week  without those two...",Hey!
"Squidward: ...Idiots! SpongeBob and Patrick: Hi, Squidward!","Hold on, Squidward!  You should be more careful."
"Patrick: Tisk, tisk... tisk! Squidward: Would you two go away and stop ruining my vacation?!","Vacation? Gee, I didn't think Mr. Krabs gave us any vacations."
"Squidward: I found someone to cover for me. Old Man Walker: One Krabby Patty coming up, sir.","Where are you going on your vacation, Squidward?"
"Squidward: If you must know, I'm going to Porpoise Peak to bask in the melodious sounds of the Warbling Water Lily.  Which only blooms once every five hundred years.  And I'm going alone. }}","I know!  Patrick and I will come along, and we can all be alone together."
"Squidward: Oh no, you're not messing up my vacation.  Now beat it! If I don't get moving, I'm gonna miss it.","Oh, we'll help you pack."
"Squidward: No way, you idiots will just break...  ...everything?  Oh. Patrick: Hold it!  We forgot to pack this. Squidward: What? No, don't! Stop! SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward: Phew. Patrick: You could buff that out. Squidward:  How could?!...  Why would?!...  I can't believe it!  I'll never see the warbling water-lily bloom now. SpongeBob and Patrick: Oh. Poor Squidward.",Oh! I have an idea.
"Patrick: Really? What's that like? Squidward: Little monsters. They oughta be locked up. Throw away the key and then...  Locked up and throw them away.  Oh, oh, phew. It was only a nightmare.","Good morning, Squidward."
Squidward:  Would you get out of my bedroom?!,"We're not in your bedroom, silly."
Squidward: What? How did I get here?,Patrick and I mo-
"Squidward:  Actually, I don't care.  Goodbye, SpongeB-    SpongeBob, why is your house...  driving on the road?! Patrick: Because we turned it into an RV!",We didn't want you to miss that flower blooming.
Squidward: Okay. Hold on. Who's driving? Patrick: It's on Autosnail. Gary: Meow.,"Come on, let's get breakfast."
"Squidward: Hey, this looks pretty good. Patrick:  Are you gonna eat that?","Hey, Patrick, let's give Gary a break."
"Patrick: Disengaging Autosnail! Gary:  Meow, meow, meow, meow. Patrick: Let's see what this pineapple can do!  On the road! Squidward:  We gotta get off this road! Patrick: No problem.","Oh! Hi, Squidward."
Squidward:  I'm not here! This isn't happening!,We're here!
"Squidward:  Huh?  The warbling water lily!  Oh, so beautiful! And I have it all to my...  Ow! My back!  Huh? Where is it? Patrick: Is this that babbling buttercup you were looking for? Squidward: Well, that's one more vacation down the drain. May as well go home.","Well, we got a long drive ahead of us.  We better go before go if you know what I mean-o."
Patrick:  Not really.,"Now, Squidward, don't leave without us."
"Squidward:  Huh? Of course not! Only a monster would leave you behind.  So I'm a monster.  They'll be fine. Alone.  On top of a mountain. In the middle of nowhere.  D'oh, I can't do it!","Hey, you're really getting the hang of using toilet paper, Patrick."
"Patrick: And next week, I'm starting on two-ply.","I'll get another roll from the RV.  Hey, where is the RV?"
"Patrick:  Well, maybe those guys have seen it. Hey, hey! Have you seen our pineapple? Squidward: Oh no, I'm too late!  Don't you dare eat those morons!","Squidward, they weren't eating us."
Patrick: We were just having a tickle fight.,Sea bears love it when you tickle their bellies.
"Patrick:  But they hate it when you karate chop their hineys. Squidward:  Uh, tickle, tickle?","Squidward, they'll leave you alone if you play dead!"
Patrick:  This will help! Catch!,Bye. Call me. You got my number.  Wow! Was that a fun road trip or was that a fun road trip?
Patrick: The funnerest! Squidward: More like the worst road trip. My one chance to hear the warbling water lily and you ruined it!,"Are you sure about that, Squidward?  Ohh, poor thing just needs some love."
Squidward:  The warbling water lily!  So beautiful.,"Oh, my ears! My ears! It hurts! It hurts!  We're so happy for you, Squidward!"
Patrick: Engage Autosnail!,"7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, whoa! Open for business!"
"Squidward: Yeah, whoo.","Oh, Mr. Krabs, Mr. Krabs, can I do it today? Huh? Can I? Can I do it?"
"Mr. Krabs:  I suppose you can have the honor today, lad. Squidward:  37... 38...","Freshness, check. Buns, check.  Fresh patties.  Check.  Oh, silly me, I'm forgetting one more minor detail.  Oh, yeah. Is it getting hot in here?  Or is it just you?  Ah!  Two Krabby Patties. P.S., SpongeBob, you're an idiot. Love, Squidward. Aw, love you, too, Squiddy. Two Krabby Patties, coming right up!  Whoa!  Hmm.  Whew, this thing is stuck pretty good.  Whoa!  I guess this is it.  Oh, you really saved me!  Whoa! Hey, a splinter. Okay, well, it's been nice knowing you but you have got to go. Now. Okay, out we go.  Oh, that kinda' hurts. Come on. Ooh, that really hurts. Oh, barnacles, this hurts! Conch-shelled manatees, this is painful!   Okay, you're tough, you're smart, and you're charming, but you are still no match for me! Look! A bald eagle with a mustache!  Okay, fine, stay. But I hope you like making Krabby Patties."
"Nat:  Excuse me, sir, but, um, I ordered a couple Krabby Patties a while ago, and I'm wondering when they'll be out. Squidward:  Looks like I'm crushing your face. Peterson: So, will they be ready soon? Squidward: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't move too much, it ruins it.","Ow. Ow. Ow. You're making this a little bit difficult. Luckily, I am ambidextrous!  Perfection!"
Squidward: I hear you! I hear you!,"Okay, good, 'cause these two Krabby Patties are ready!"
Squidward:  SpongeBob?,Yes?
Squidward: Can I ask you something?,Yes.
Squidward:  What's that?,What's what?
Squidward: You know.,Know what?
Squidward: This.,What?
Squidward: This thing here.,What thing where?
Squidward: The spatula  tied to your nose!,"This! Well, you see, this got stuck up there  so I stacked stuff and I climbed up to reach it. I reached the grip  and I got it but then I fell and I screamed! I was sure I was dead, but then I wasn't, but then I tripped and I got this splinter... Squidward? Squidward, were you listening at all?  I got this really bad splinter, you see?  And I couldn't hold the spatula with my hand so I used my nose.  Makes sense now, huh?"
"Squidward:  Oh, yeah, that makes perfect sense. You're a half-wit who injured himself at work being a nitwit.","Good one, Squiddy."
Squidward:  Injury. Your brain is injured!  Wait a minute. Did you say that you got that splinter injury at work?,Yeah.
"Squidward: Oh, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk. That's not good.","I know, it hurts so bad."
"Squidward: Yeah, when Mr. Krabs finds out, oh, man.",Finds out what?
Squidward: Finds out about this injury.,You mean my splinter?
Squidward: He'll be forced to send you home.,H-h-h-h-home? But I'm fine!
"Squidward: Here, let me take this for you.","Why? Hey, wait, I'm fine!"
Squidward: It was a good shift while it lasted.,While it lasted? What are you doing?  W... What are you...?
Squidward: I know it's hard to say goodbye.,"But, but, but, Squidward, I'm fine!  I'm fine! I'm okay! Look at me, nothing's wrong! See? See?  See? See?"
"Squidward: Oh, I believe you, SpongeBob, but, unfortunately,  the rules clearly state that you must be sent home.","No, anything but that.  Please, Squidward, you can't let this happen!  You can't let them force me away!"
"Squidward: Sorry, the rules are the rules.  Yeah, it'll be pretty quiet around here with Mr. Krabs sending you home early and all. I just hope we'll make it through the whole rest of this day without you here.","Please, Squidward! Don't tell Mr. Krabs!"
"Squidward: What? Me? Tell Mr. Krabs? Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No.",Wew.
Squidward: I don't have to tell Mr. Krabs.  Because he already knows.,He does?
"Squidward: Oh, yeah. Mr. Krabs has preturnatural instincts when it comes to situations like this. It's almost as if when something's amiss in his restaurant...  ...he can smell it. Mr. Krabs: These quarters smell sad. You're not planning on getting a refill with them, are ya?! Frankie: No, I wasn't.","You're right, Squidward. I need help!  Please pick up, please pick up, please pick up.  Patrick?"
Patrick: Yeah?,Thank goodness you're there. I got a splinter on my thumb and...
"Patrick: Mm-hmm. I see. Well, I'm pretty booked today, but I think I can fit you in.","Thanks, Patrick."
"Patrick: No problem. Patrick:  You called the right person, Mr. SpongeBob.  Now, let's see where the problem's at.  Hmmm... interesting.","Uh, Patrick..."
Patrick:  Hmmm... interesting.,"Patrick? Patrick, this isn't helping!"
"Patrick: Oh, I'm sorry.  I didn't realize you were a doctor. Hmph!",I'm not!
"Patrick: Oh, but I'm sure you can figure it out with your 12 years of med school.","Patrick, you didn't go to med school."
Patrick: So?,"Patrick, I'm sorry. I really need your help."
"Patrick: Oh, no, no, it looks like you have things under control.","Please, Patrick! I don't want to go home early!"
"Patrick: Okay. But we play by my rules, SquareBob.  Well, here's your problem. Don't you worry, buddy.  We're gonna make it go away.","Phew, thanks, Patrick, you're a lifesaver.  Ow!"
"Patrick: There appears to be a little bit of swelling.  This garbage compress should help that go down.  That doesn't look good.  Yeah, but my shift is over.  Call me in the morning... if you can still dial the phone.",Ah.
Mr. Krabs: What's that?,What's what?
Mr. Krabs: Behind your back?,You mean this?
"Mr. Krabs: Put your hat on, boy! Show some company pride!","Heh, company pride, of course."
"Mr. Krabs: Uh, SpongeBob?",Yes?
Mr. Krabs: Have you always had three legs?,Yes.
"Mr. Krabs:  Interesting... Well, what's this about a splinter that Squidward's been telling me all about?  All right, boy, let's see it.  Come on, SpongeBob, it's just a little splinter. I mean, how bad could it...?  Oh, merciful Neptune!  Okay, no problem. No problem.  Problem sol...  Whew. For a second there, I thought I was gonna have to pay you workman's compersation.",What's worker's compensation?
"Mr. Krabs: You know, when you get paid for sitting at home. Squidward:  You mean I can get paid while I'm at home? Mr. Krabs: Yeah, what do ya' think compersation stands for? Squidward:  Ow! Mr. Krabs: Uh, Squidward? Squidward:  Can I get my compersation now? Mr. Krabs: No. Sorry, Squidward, your shift ended over two minutes ago. Squidward: It's too quiet. Something isn't right around here.  Could it be? SpongeBob is gone for the evening.  Here's to a delightful evening alone with you, public television. Patrick: Do it again. Do it again.",Okay.
"Squidward: Will you two be quiet?! I'm trying to watch public television. Patrick: Do it again, do it again. Squidward: If those two want to ruin my quiet evening at home, they're going to have to do better than that.  What?",Squidward!
"Squidward: You're still there, aren't you?","Good evening, Squidward."
Squidward: Not so fast. You two little monsters aren't about to ruin my evening.,"Oh, we're not here to ruin it. We're here to enhance it. Isn't that right, Pat?"
"Patrick: Yeah. We're here... Squidward: Can't a hard working Squid get a little TV time alone?  SpongeBob?! Patrick?! Oh, what's the point? Patrick: Could you turn it up?","Uh, Squidward, could you turn it down a little?"
"Patrick: Squidward, what's this about?","Squidward, how come he's so emotional?"
Patrick: Is he the bad guy?,Squidward?
Patrick: Squidward?,Squidward?
Patrick: Squidward?,Squidward?
"Patrick: Squidward? Squidward:  That's it! All I wanted to do was watch some smooth jazz on public television. But apparently, that's not going to happen! Once again, I'm going to have to leave my own home just to get some peace and quiet!  Enjoy my TV! PFAH! Patrick: Oh wait, I think I've seen this before. This part's funny. Squidward: I'm going to go somewhere far away. Somewhere far away from those two watching public television on my TV. PFAH! They wouldn't know real culture even if it hit them like a truck full of cement.  Oh.  Day five, I think. I've been waddling these fields. I'm hungry, tired, and lost. The only good thing about this is no SpongeBob.  Jellyfish Fields.","What is that thing, Patrick?"
Patrick: I dunno. Let's get a closer look.,"Hi, stranger. I am SpongeBob.  Wait a minute. Maybe he's not a monster. Maybe he's an endangered species. We should help him."
"Patrick: Yeah, help him. Go away! Can't you tell nobody wants you?! You're endangered!","Not like that. With lots of love and affection. We can take care of him.  Well, Smelly, here you are. Your new home. Oh, Smelly, this is going to be great. We'll be one big happy family. Let me show you around. Here's your bed, Smelly.  Here's your food bowl."
Patrick: And some kibble.,"You can live here forever and ever.  Oh, look, Pat. He's crying tears of joy. Well, Smelly, there's one more family member you haven't met.  Smelly, meet Gary.  Aww, look at that, Smelly, Gary likes you.  Gary, no!  Gary!"
Patrick: I don't think Gary likes Smelly.,"Yeah, Gary's never attacked anyone like that except Squidward. I guess Smelly can't live here."
Patrick: Ah! He can come live with me.,"That's a great idea, Patrick. You’ve always wanted a pet.  Isn't that cute? Look how excited he is to get to your house.  Bye, Smelly. Have fun at Patrick's."
"Patrick: No, no, Smelly. Squidward doesn't like pets.  Hey, Smelly, wanna play catch?  Don't worry, you'll get the hang of it.  Almost.  Again.  So close.  Yeah, now you're...  Smelly! What's gotten into you?!  Hello, Animal Control?! There's a wild animal loose in my house!  Sure, I'll hold.  Smelly! Come back! Smelly! Police: Freeze!","Hmmm, what's all the commotion?"
Police: You're surrounded. There is no way out.,"Smelly.  Excuse me. Pardon me. If I can just scootch through there. Excuse me. Pardon me. Excuse me. You leave Smelly alone. He's just a poor, dumb wild animal."
"Police: Wild animals don't belong here, son. They belong in the zoo. Get 'em, boys.",Smelly.
"Isabelle: Mommy, what is that thing? Sadie: I don't know but it's hideous, isn't it?",This isn't good.
Patrick: You're absolutely right.  It needs mustard.,"No one should be treated like that. Not even someone as ugly as Smelly. Something needs to be done about this. And I know exactly what that thing is.  Okay, Patrick, remember the plan?"
"Patrick: Oh, yeah.  This one, right?","No, not that. I'm talking about the plan to break Smelly out of this animal prison."
"Patrick:  Mmm, good plan.","All right, I'll go down first. Keep a lookout and follow me."
Patrick: You're my hero.  SpongeBob! Help! Ah!,"Shh, we'll get caught."
Patrick: What?! I can't hear you! I'm screaming too loud!,"Fear no longer, dear Smelly, we are here to rescue you. Understand? We are taking you home.  Look how excited he is. Flip the switch, Patrick.  Smelly, you're free!"
Police: You're surrounded. There's no use trying to run.,"Run, Patrick, run!  Faster, Patrick."
Patrick: I'll let Smelly go first.,"Don't worry, Smelly, you're safe with us."
Patrick: I think we lost them.,"Well, we're all one big happy family again. Let's see where this dark sewer tunnel leads."
"SpongeBob and Patrick: La-la, la-la, la-la, la-la.","Oh, it's all right, Smelly. Soon, we'll be home and you can sleep in that cozy little pet carrier you love so much."
"Patrick: Hey, I see light.","You're right, Patrick. That must be the way out. Whoa... where are we?  Let's go ask those guys. Um, excuse us.  Hey, they look just like you. Go, be with your real family. Go ahead, Smelly. I know you've come to think of us as a family, but it's better this way."
"Patrick:  I'm going to miss him, SpongeBob.","Me too, buddy. Me too, but he's with his kind now, where he belongs, and on that note, let us go back to where we belong."
"Kelpy G: Ah... salutation, my children. Are you ready for your daily dose of smooth jazz? Squidward:  Um... hi. SpongeBob and Patrick: I heart the circus! Ringmaster: Children of all ages! Get ready to wet your baggy pants laughing! Send in the clowns!  He-yah! Ringmaster: Our candy-corn-fed clowns once roamed the slapstick plains where wild clowns run free!  He-yah!  He-yah!  He-yah!  He-yah! SpongeBob and Patrick: Patrick: Look, there's those!","Oh. Are you hungry, little clown?"
Ringmaster: He-yah! DON'T FEED THE CLOWNS!,Why not?
"Patrick: Huh?  SpongeBob, are you mad? Clowns are dangerous animals. Why, at any moment, one of those things could get loose and bite our feet off!","Oh, Patrick, that little clown wouldn't do that. He was friendly. I wanna go backstage and see the clowns, Patrick."
"Patrick: I told you, SpongeBob, our feet are in danger!",I'll protect you. Ooh.
Little Clown: Huh?,"Poor little guy. Hey, he didn't get any food. Hmm.  Hey, psst!"
"Little Clown: Huh? Ringmaster: DON'T FEED THE CLOWNS! Patrick: My feet! Ringmaster: Pack it up, everyone.  He-yah!","I don't care what that mean old ringmaster says. That clown is hungry, and I'm gonna feed him.  Hey, where'd the circus go? Now I'll never find that little clown. There you are. Hey, little clown. The circus left without you! Quick, we gotta get you back to your clown friends.  Oh, you don't want to go back to the circus? You don't want to be a circus clown? You know, little clown, I don't blame you. You shouldn't stay in a place where they push you around all the time. Looks like I'll have to help you find a new job. But what else can you do? Oh, you want to work there?  This job should be a snap, little clown. Watch me.  ♪Pick up the hot dog, put it in a bun, add the mustard, relish, now you're having fun♪"
"Customers: Oh-ho-ho, hot dog! Look at that.  Looks like fun!","Okay, you're on."
Vendor: My wieners!,"Oh, is this your cart? Sorry. I think you'll get a job a lot quicker if we tone down the whole clown thing a smidge. Don't worry. When I get through with you, your own ringmaster won't recognize you. Businessmen wanted.  Go get 'em, little clown. Oh, I mean, Mr. Little Clown."
CEO: Hmm?  Here's your stool. And here's your stamper. Now get to work.,Aww.
"CEO: Hmm? CEO: Who hired this clown?! CEO's assistant: Um, you did, sir. CEO: Fired!","What happened, little clown? Didn't you like that job? Hmm.  Ooh! Maybe a career in firefighting. Have a nice fire!  I'll just make sure he gets there safely. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Not Mrs. Puff's Boating School!"
Mrs. Puff:  Save me! Save me! I'm too young to broil! Mrs. Puff:  You're fired!,"This is it, little clown. The last job available in Bikini Bottom. If you can just stop the clowning for two minutes, you'll have a job. Please! Sorry, little clown. It's been a long day.  Good luck. Huh?  Hmm.  Hmm. Aha!  Now get in there, eyes, and stay close to that clown."
Head baker: Your job is to pack up the pies! now get to work Head baker: Hmm!,"No! No, little clown! No! No!  Phew! Hot pepper pie?! Lemon pie?! Honey pie?!"
Fred:  Mmm!,Eye pie!
Head baker: You... Are...,Fired?
Head baker: Au revoir! Tina Fran: Huh? I didn't order a pie.,"Oh, little clown, I'm so sorry. I thought you needed a day job, but you're a clown. And a clown needs to run free. Aww. Aww."
"Plankton: Okay, Karen. Which one's better? Karen: If I had eyes, I'd be rolling them right now. Plankton:  Oh, thanks for the help. Ya know, details like this can be very important to the customers. Karen: Customers? What customers? Plankton: Well, uh.....  ...like those customers, who just pulled up.  Well, hello, gentlemen, and welcome to the Chum Bucket! Would you like seating inside or outside? Pilar: Seating for what? Plankton:  For the Chum Bucket! Where you can enjoy a nice helping of chum.  Oh, boy this is so...  ...good. The chum is. Nat: Wait a minute, eating chum? Do people do that? Plankton: Look, are you gonna eat or not!? Nat: Yeah. I'll gonna have two Krabby Patties. Pilar: Oh yeah, two. Nat: We couldn't find parking over at the Krusty Krab. Plankton:  Now what was I saying? Oh right.  I'm tired of the Krusty Krab taking all of my business! We're doomed, Karen! Doomed, I tell you! Karen: Well, why don't you do what all good business owners do? Plankton:  What would that be? Karen: Advertise your product, of course. Plankton: Advertising?  I can't believe it took me so long to come up with this Plankton:  Now let's see, Q no... P no...Ah, here it is, L! There, it's perfect! Chum is metabolic fuel! You really did it this time ol' Planky. Oh yeah, who's a genius. ♪Have you seen this, seen this, seen my genius, genius, genius, genius.♪ Patrick: Chum is... meh... Plankton: Hello, sir, and welcome to the Chum Bucket! Er, sir? Patrick: ...META...A...TAB...TAB...AB...BOL...IC... Mini Brain Patrick 1: Forget about what that word means! There's a fire breaking out the language lobes! Mini Brain Patrick 2: We need to get outta here! Mini Brain Patrick 3: The door's jammed! Mini Brain Patrick 2: Push harder! Patrick: ...METAB...BO... Plankton: Sir, your head, it's on fire.  The drink, use the drink! Patrick:  It's kelp juice, you want some?  HEY! What kind of friend are you? Plankton: Friend? I didn't even know y- Patrick: Go ahead. Say you're sorry. Plankton: Uh, I'm sorry? Patrick: Okay, I forgive you. And... I'm sorry for yelling. Okay, so can I tell you something honestly? Plankton: Whatever. Patrick: It's about your sign. These words make my head sad. Patrick's Head:  I don't get it. Patrick: It's okay, little fella. I don't either. Plankton: Okay, Freakshow, you just wait. In a few minutes, this sign will attract more than you can count. Narrator: A few minutes later... Patrick: Uhh, what's that number before one? Plankton: Zero. Patrick: Oh right, congratulations, you have zero customers! Plankton: Okay, so it may take a little longer than a few minutes. Narrator: A little longer than a few minutes later... Patrick: Wait, what are we doing again?  There we go! Chum is Fum! Plankton: What the? This says Chum is Fum. You've changed my sign to Chum is Fum? That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Patrick: They seem to think it's interesting. Plankton: Apparently, dumb sells chum. And I believe I've just found our Advertising Director. Mr. Krabs:  Only two customers? Customers are looking kinda scarce.  Must be low tide or something, eh Squidward? Squidward: They've all gone to the Chum Bucket. Mr. Krabs: The Chum Bucket?  Chum...is...Fum? SpongeBob!","Yes, sir?"
"Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, we have a situation.",I'm on it. Five. Four. Three. Two. One.
"Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, I'm afraid our worst fears have been realized.",Ah! Goofy Goober is going non-dairy?
Mr. Krabs: No.,Ooh. Slide show.
"Mr. Krabs:  A few hours ago, the Chum Bucket was, as it should be, a desolate no-man's land.  There's only one way he could have changed things around so quickly.  Plankton must have slipped into the Krusty Krab while you weren't looking.","Hey, that's my legs."
"Mr. Krabs: I thought you'd say that.  So we need to infiltrate the Chum Bucket and steal the formular back. Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, how you holding up boy?","Not so good, Mr. Krabs."
"Mr. Krabs: Hold on now. We're almost there. Narrator: Two hours later... Plankton: Next! Mr. Krabs: We made it, SpongeBob. We're in! Nat: All I know is: Chum is Fum. Pilar: You said it. Chum is Fum. Mr. Krabs: Keep an eye peeled for anything suspiciourous",Like that door?
"Mr. Krabs: Eh...BINGO! Giddy up, boy, We're almost there. Patrick: Huh? Plankton: Excuse me, would you like a free sample? Mr. Krabs: No, uh  I'm full, thanks! Plankton: No? How 'bout your little friend? Hi, SpongeBob!",Hi! I don't want a free sampl-
Plankton:  Sure you do. Look out! She's gonna blow!,"Blegh, Aheh, Agh, Agheh"
"Mr. Krabs: Huh? Well, he obviously didn't steal me formular, but how did he steal all my customers? Pilar: This chum tastes awful. Nat: Yeah, but that slogan is so catchy that we can't stop eatin' it. Nat and Pilar: CHUM IS FUM! Plankton: Ah hehehehehehe  Chum is fum! Ah he he! Mr. Krabs:  Come on, SpongeBob... Plankton: I'm gonna see how our advertising guru is doing.  What brilliant slogans have you come up with this week, Patrick? Patrick:  Hm, huh? Plankton:  Gah! You're supposed to be coming up with witty catchphrases to keep that rabble out there happy!  Chum is Fum...We kinda got that one already. Patrick: OOH I like that one! Plankton: Agh. Oh well, if it ain't broke, don't fix it.  Keep up the good work...I guess... Patrick: You got it boss! Plankton:  HEY EVERYONE! CHUM IS FUM! Plankton: Hey Karen, check this out! Karen: What now? Plankton: You see, every time I make a sale the sound goes there, Watch! Mr. Krabs: Karen: How is that gonna help to boost sales? Plankton: Karen, babe, you don't need help when you have a catchy slogan like mine. Karen: Don't look now, but I think your catchy slogan days are numbered. Plankton: Nat:  Uhh...something's not right. Pilar: Yeah, I know, I keep sayin' Chum is Fum but it...ehh...it's just not workin'. Nat: I'm outta here. Pilar: Plankton: Hmmmm.... Plankton:  PATRICK! Patrick:  Huh?! Plankton: We're having a board meeting here! We need ideas! Patrick:  Hmmmm, Mhmmmm, Uh huuuh. I think I see the problem. Your potty has a shocky thing in it! Plankton: NO! That's not it you FOOL! We need a new slogan! You need to come up with another genius catchphrase like Chum is Fum! But different. Patrick: Oh... Gotcha. Hmmmmmm. Narrator: 3 days later... Nat: I'm so happy that they changed that old tired slogan, Chum is Fum. Pilar: Yeah, that new slogan Fum is Chum is way cooler. Nat: Way cooler! Plankton:  Here's your Chum Bucket Supreme, enjoy! Patrick, my boy, you really earned that promotion! Patrick:  Thanks, boss. Plankton: Nothing can stop me now! Plankton: You fellas look hungry, here you go! Patrick: Excuse me, sir.  My resignation. Plankton: But you're my whole marketing department. Patrick: I know, but I'm burned out. See?  Anyway, you can send my check to my home. Plankton:  Check? You want money for those stupid catchphrases? Anybody can sell to my idiot customers.  They're buffoons! Morons! They'll buy anything I sell them. They're the dumbest of the dumb!  The stupidest of the stupid!  They're dummies, dweebs and doodoo dunderheads! I can keep that rabble right where I want 'em! Huh? Hockey Player: What was that part about doodoo dunderheads, eh? Plankton: Uh-oh! Hockey Player: Where do you think you're going, little man? Plankton: Is it too late for sorry?  D'OH! Hockey Player:  Hey, check out that new sign at the Krusty Krab. Who's hungry, eh?","Well, Mr. K., we're back in business!"
"Mr. Krabs: Yep.  Keep up the good work, boy'o! Patrick: You got it, boss! Radio: Good morning, Bikini Bottom! It's a very special day today because we have got the new single from Boys Who Cry: 'It's All About You'. Boys Who Cry:  It's all about you girl, On your sixteenth birthday! Pay attention to you girl, Everyone has to do just what you say.  You get your very own spotlight tonight, Cuz it's all about you! Yeah, it's all about Pearl! You're the birthday girl! Pearl:  Yeah! It's all about me. On my 16th birthday, I want music, clothes, and shiny things. So give it up right away, Everybody in the whole wide world. They have to pay attention to me. It's all about me, me...and guess who? Me!  Oops! Mr. Krabs:  Neptune's trousers! Pearl: Morning, daddy! Mr. Krabs: Are you sure you wouldn't prefer a room on the ground floor? Pearl: Oh, daddy. I'm just excited because tomorrow's a very special day. Mr. Krabs:  It is?  Oh, I mean, it is! Very special! Very, very special, indeed! Pearl: You have no idea what day tomorrow is, do you? Mr. Krabs: None at all. Pearl: It's my 16th birthday! Mr. Krabs: I knew that! How could you think I wouldn't know that? What are you gonna be, 12? Pearl:  I'm going to be 16! It's only the most important birthday in my entire life. If I don't have a completely awesome party, my whole high school reputation will collapse. I'll have to drop out, I won't go off to college, I'll never leave home. You'll have to support me for the rest of my life. Mr. Krabs:  Well, we don't want that to happen. Pearl: Then promise me you'll give me a real party this year. And don't be cheap!  Hi, girls. Friend #1: Hi, Pearl. Pearl: Are you guys coming to my totally coral birthday party tomorrow? Friend #1: I don't know, Pearl. Is this going to be as totally coral as last year, when your dad passed out paper clips as party favors? Judy: Remember the time we all had to share one balloon?  Please. Friend #2: Remember the pony ride? Friend #1: I can't wait to see how he ruins this year. Pearl: Daddy! Mr. Krabs: Uh-oh. Everybody, brace for impact! Pearl: Tell me you've got something totally coral planned for my birthday party. Mr. Krabs: Now, now, don't snap your mizzenmast. Everything is all set. Why, I've already got the party favors, bubble wrap!  This year's gonna be a blast. Pearl: Daddy, you ruined all my birthday parties, but you better not ruin this one. Now promise me you won't be cheap! Mr. Krabs:  I promise. Pearl: Good, because I made a list.  Now I want everything on this list at my party.  Bye. I'll be at the mall with my friends. Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob!","Yes, Mr. Krabs?"
"Mr. Krabs: While I plan the party, I want you to buy Pearl's present.  Here you go, boy.","What's this, Mr. Krabs?"
Mr. Krabs: It's me credit card. You use it instead of money.,I can buy stuff with just this piece of plastic? I don't need money?
Mr. Krabs: Exactly.,Wow.
"Mr. Krabs: Now remember, nothing's too good for me little Pearl. I wanted to give her nothing, but she's too good for that. Now follow her around and see what she likes. You know, do some detective work.",Detective work. I'm going undercover.
"Pearl: So, that's when Marcy told me that Julie said that Angela did like Brad. Friend #1: Oh.",Angela likes Brad.
"Pearl:  Oh my gosh, this is the greatest thing I have seen in the whole world.",I'd like to buy that piece of plastic with this piece of plastic.
"Cashier:  Mr. Krabs, huh? Quick, how do you spell Krabs?",Umm...I'm pretty sure it has a 'B' in it.
"Cashier: Close enough.  There you go, kid.","That's it? Hmmm, I'll never understand the workings of high finance."
"Pearl:  Wow, this is the greatest thing I've ever seen in the whole world. Glitter gloss!","Oh, no, I bought the wrong present."
"Judy: Pearl, you have got to see this. Pearl: Coming, Judy. Mary: Oh...hmmm...",Now this is obviously the greatest present ever.
"Pearl:  This is the greatest thing in the whole world! Squidward: The banner's up, Mr. Krabs. Mr. Krabs: I've had that since the day she was born. I got it on sale. Squidward: I'm sure she'll love it, Mr. Krabs. Pearl: This sea pony is the cutest thing ever. Do you want to come home and be my pony?  Whee! Judy: Pearl, come here. This is so coral. Pearl: Oh my gosh, it's Billy Fishkins. All: Hi, Billy! Billy: Meep.",Isn't he dreamy?
"Cashier: Price check on 4. Billy: Meep. Squidward: I finished Pearl's portrait, Mr. Krabs. It's a true masterpiece. Mr. Krabs: Hey...maybe I should have hired that ice sculptor. Squidward: Ice sculptor? Any fool can sculpt in ice. It takes true genius to transform 400 pounds of raw Krabby Patties into a work of such majesty. Mr. Krabs: Yeah. Well, we've got the decor covered. Now how about entertainment? Pearl wants some boy band called 'Boys Who Cry'. Squidward: Boys Who Cry? They're my favorite band. They charge a million dollars just to show up. And if you want them to lip-sync, it'll run into real money. Mr. Krabs: You're a real fan, huh? Squidward: Oh, yeah, I know all their songs. Mr. Krabs: All their songs? Pearl: Wouldn't it be cool if my dad got me this for my birthday? Friend #1: It sure would be. If he was cool, which he's not. Pearl: Yeah, he probably got me another box of staples. Mr. Krabs: It's almost time for the party to start!","I'm back, Mr. Krabs!"
"Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, what took you so long? And where's Pearl's present?",The delivery truck will be here momentarily.
"Squidward: Here she comes, Mr. Krabs. Mr. Krabs: Everybody, get into position. All: Happy birthday! Judy: It's a boy?! Pearl: Daddy! Friend #1: Stale popcorn.  It tastes like dishwater. Squidward: It is dishwater. Pearl:  Is that supposed to be me?  It's made out of Krabby Patties! Gross! Mr. Krabs: Who wants cake? Pearl: Well, the cake does look good.  It's made out of cardboard! Mr. Krabs: And frosting. Friend #1: Well, Pearl, sixteen lame parties in a row. Must be a new record. Let's get out of here. Pearl: Wait, don't leave. My dad got Boys Who Cry to play. You did get Boys Who Cry, right? Mr. Krabs: Oh, even better, sweetie. Hit it. Squidward: Hello, ladies.  When my tear ducts get issue, I can't use just any tissue... I need 4-ply, 4-Ply, 4-Ply, when I cry... Huh! Friend #2: Hey, that is not Boys Who Cry. Judy: Yeah! Friend #2: Boo! Friend #1: What a rip-off! Judy: This stinks! Pearl: Daddy, how could you? I... gave... you... a list! Mr. Krabs: Pearl, come back! Pearl: You ruined everything! You couldn't stop being cheap, even for me. Mr. Krabs: I'll make it up to you somehow, Pearl.",That's it. Back it up. Right there. Let 'er go!
"Pearl: You bought me a boat? Mr. Krabs: I did? I mean...I did?! Friends: Wow. Pearl: Oh daddy, I don't know how it could get better than this.","Just watch.  Hit it, boys!"
"Endsong: Boys Who Cry It's All About You It's all about you girl, On your sixteenth birthday! Pay attention to you girl, Everyone has to do just what you say. You get your very own spotlight tonight, Cuz it's all about you! Yeah, it's all about Pearl! You're the birthday girl! Mr. Krabs: Boy, how much is all this costing me?",Here's the receipt.
"Mr. Krabs:  I ought to... Pearl: Oh, daddy, you got me everything I wanted. Mr. Krabs: Ah, nothing's too good for me daughter. Heh.","You're a good dad, Mr. Krabs."
"Mr. Krabs: Don't push your luck, boy. Quincy: Next! Oh, no...","Hey, Quincy! How's my favorite money-man?"
Quincy: SpongeBob... what can I do for you?,The new Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy cards come out today! So I need to take out some mon-ey.
Quincy: Ugh. Let me see your bank book.,"Sure thing, Quincy, sure thing."
Quincy: Nice... bunnies.,"I know, I know. It's so embarrassing.  I wanted the one with the kittens on it."
"Quincy: Right.  Here you are, sir.","Thank you. Hm... Um, Quincy, this one is wrinkled. I couldn't possibly give this to Mermaid Man. It simply won't do."
"Quincy: I don't think they go directly to Mermaid Man, SpongeBob. But, um. Here. Try this one.",This one... smells funny.
"Customer in line: Come on! Would ya hurry up? Customer with mask and money bag: Yeah, some of us have withdrawals to make, ya know? All customers:","Well, I'll have you know that this is for Mermaid Man. And I'm not leaving until I have money that shows him the proper respect.  Whoa!"
"All customers: Patrick: One, two, three, four...","Hey, Patrick. Counting up your change for a pack of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy trading cards?"
"Patrick: No, I'm thinking about buying this book on counting. Three, four. What's gonna happen next? FIVE? Holy super-happy-fun-time! This book's good! I'll take it! One, two, three...","One pack of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy cards, please."
Comic book dealer:,All right!
Comic book dealer: Not so fast! Where's my dollar?,"Here you are, my good sir."
"Comic book dealer: Here you go, kid. Patrick: Seventeen...",So... shiny... and smooth!  Ah... oh! Oh!  Oooh! Mermaid Man's bubble-powered wheelchair from season twelve! And Barnacle Boy's bunion! Holy scallops! It's the dentures that Mermaid Man used to pop the Dirty Bubble in episode four-hundred two! Wow! These must be the most valuable cards in the world! I'll treasure them forever.
"Comic book dealer: Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Those cards aren't worth nothin'. I wouldn't put those cards in the spokes of my bike. Now, if you wanna see a card worth talkin' about, check this one out. This is the super-rare platinum hologram animated talking card: number fifty-four. Voice: Mermaid Man says: Mermaid Man: Buy more cards! Comic book dealer: There are only five in existence.",How much is it? For this one?
"Comic book dealer: This one's just a display. If you want a real one, you'll have to buy as many packs as you can and hope you get lucky.","Oh, I have a good feeling about this one. Oh, come on. And it's... not there.  Mmm... no.  Ohhh! (close up on SpongeBob's face) I'll never find card fifty-four!"
"Patrick: Ninety-six, ninety-seven, ninety-eight, ninety-nine, one hundred! Oh! I hate counting! Just give me what he's having! Oh, boy! Let's see which card I got! Is this a good card, SpongeBob?","No, it's just another..."
Voice: Mermaid Man says Mermaid Man: Buy more cards!,Number fifty-four! That's the best card there is!
"Patrick: It sure does the job, all right.","Aaahhhhh!! Patrick, you're picking your teeth with it!"
Patrick: I'm preventing gingivitis.,Patrick! That's the ultra-rare number fifty-four talking card! It's really valuable and there's only five in existence. And  Patrick! Blah blah blzzz! So now do you understand why you should take really could care of that card?
"Patrick: Yes, sir.","I can't let anything happen to that card. Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy would never forgive me! Patrick, watch out! You almost tripped on that crack.  Whew! Now watch where you're going!"
"Patrick: Okay. Thanks, buddy.","Patrick, look out!  Ha, that was close."
"Patrick: Ha, ha. SpongeBob fly.","Patrick, this is serious. You're carrying precious cargo now. You can't just wander aimlessly around like you've been..."
Patrick: What?,"The card!   Patrick, why'd you just walk into Goo Lagoon?"
"Patrick: SpongeBob, you can't always expect my usual brand of stupidity. I like to mix it up. Keep you on your toes.",Ahhh!  Here we are! Home safe home! And nothing happened to the card.
"Patrick: Good job, SpongeBob. Now let me just get my keys.  Nope.  There you are. I knew you were in there somewhere.","The super-rare and priceless Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy trading card! Patrick! Where is it? Where is it? Dear Neptune! You didn't put it in your pocket, did you? It's getting all bent up! Bent up!  Bent up! Bent up! Bent, bent, bent, bent up!"
"Patrick: Sheesh. Don't get your pants up in a square knot, SpongeBob. I don't even believe in pockets. I keep everything I need right here. In the folds of my back fat.  You seem to be pretty fond of this little thing. Why don't you just keep it?",You mean...  you'd give me your most valuable possession?
Patrick: I'd give you my most valuable possession?,You're the best pal ever.
Patrick: I'm the best pal ever. But can you do me one favor?,"Sure, pal. Anything for you."
Patrick: Do you mind if I hold on to it? Just for today?,"Um, sure, Patrick."
"Patrick: Well, good. 'Cause my landlord changed the lock again.","Patrick, wait! Let me call a locksmith."
Patrick: Oh! I don't need any old locksmith.,"Uh, Patrick? Patrick? Patrick! Don't ya think maybe... that you shouldn't..."
"Patrick: Ugh!  Man, this card is fantastic!  Breaking and entering sure makes a fella hungry. Hey, why don't we eat some dinner? And then I'll give you your card.  Ew! This barbecue's really filthy. Oh, but this'll take care of it.","No, wait, Patrick! Allow me to clean it!"
"Patrick: Now, now, SpongeBob I know you wanna help, but you're my guest.  There! Nice and shiny!",Patrick! The card! It's on fire!
"Patrick: Oh, yeah, yeah. I'll take care of it.  There! Good as new!",Ew.
"Patrick:  Dinner is served. Mermaid Man:  More cards... Patrick:  Oh! Pardon me! That hit the spot!  Hey! Look at that!  Sundown already? Well, you can have your card now. I hope you get as much use out of it as I have. Mermaid Man: Zzbbb... more cards...",Oh! It's ruined!
"Patrick:  SpongeBob, what's wrong?","Now I'll never have Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy card #54, the special talking one!"
Patrick:  Aw... sure you will.,"No. No! I spent all my money! And,  and,  and, you bought that last pack! So there's no more left in all of Bikini Bottom."
"Patrick: Well, how about these? Announcer: Mermaid Man says... Mermaid Man: Buy more cards! (x4)","Number 54! Patrick, where did you get these?!"
"Patrick: Well, that pack I bought was full of 'em.",May I... have one?
"Patrick: They're all yours, buddy. See ya tomorrow.",Wow!
"Patrick: Oh! Hey, SpongeBob? Can I borrow one of those cards?  I locked myself out of my house again.","Wow! Another Mermaid Man reboot. It's how I always re-imagined the reboot would be remade, Oh, cold knees!"
"Salesfish: Well you see you got cold knees, icy joints, Siberian patellas? What you need is a pair of longpants!","Longpants?  Well, I don't think I'm ready for looong pants."
"Salesfish: Nonsense, no fellers you walk around with shiver shins!  Give yourself something to leg up  Join the trouser troupe!  Don't be a slacker, wear slacks!",Uh..well..I don't...uhhh...Okay!  How do I look?
"Salesfish:  Excuse me, sir, I was just talking to a little baby schoolboy a second ago, about yay high and...  It's you! I didn't recognize you with your mature, grownup longpants!","You're pulling my leg, sir, I don't look like a man! Do I?"
"Patrick: Hey, man!",He called me a man! And my knees are a perfect 72 degrees!
"Salesfish: Customers: Customer's son: Is that my daddy? Customer's mother: I wish! Mr. Krabs: Uhh, excuse me, sir, that door is for employees only, ohh! It's SpongeBob!  There's something different about you today? You seem more, able bodied.","Yah, it must be the long pants!"
"Mr. Krabs: So they are! You'll run the register today!  Into the galley with you, Mr. Squidward, and start cooking! Squidward:  But, Mr. Krabs? Why? Mr. Krabs: Well, look, SpongeBob's got longpants on and you've got.. none! Squidward:",Ohh! I could get used to this job! Hey Squidward what's on sale this week?
"Squidward: Nothing, there is never a sale.","Squidward, how much is the senior discount?"
Squidward: There's no senior discount!,Squidward?
Squidward:  What?!,What do I do when the register is $2000 dollars short?
"Mr. Krabs: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Alright, alright, that's enough!  I see it was a mistake to put you behind the register! You’re just looking to good for such a simple meaning of work! Squidward: Mr. Krabs: You should be the maitre'd! Greeting customers when they come in! Charming the pants off of everyone with your longpants!","Okay!  How is that patty treating you, sir?"
Blue customer: You're an angel!,"No, merely a man, a man in longpants.  Oh, my precious longpants!"
"Mr. Krabs: What's wrong, slick? Your not having trouble with your pants, are ye?","Nothing like that, Mr. Krabs. I just don't think I'm maitre'd material."
"Mr. Krabs: Yeah, you're right, you're too good for this place.","As much as I hate to admit it, I've outgrown the Krusty Krab. Time for me to move on!"
"Squidward: Where's he going? Mr. Krabs: A place called... manhood. Nancy Suzy Fish: Doris, I insist! Doris: Don't be silly!","Allow me, ladies, I should pay, after all, I am a man, and I'm wearing..."
Nancy Suzy Fish: What an inseam! Doris: And those pleats were pretty easy on the eyes!,"AH! Shrimp! Oh, dry cleaning, and one hour!"
"Dave: Uh, ticket please.",Has it all ready been one hour? One more time!  Huh?
"Driving Instructor: Congratulations, you passed your driving test! Mable Jenkins/Lobster: Wahoo!","You know, I've never took the drivers test with long pants! I'll do it!"
Alternate Universe SpongeBob: There goes a real man! Driving Instructor: Let's try parallel parking.  Now take it slow! A little faster?!,"Hey, I think I'm getting the hang of this!"
"Driving Instructor: I was gonna fail you, and send you to jail, but because of those longpants, and all the blood rushing to my head, you passed!",I finally got my drivers license!
"Mrs. Puff:  Lock your doors, bar your windows, it's the end of the world!","Help wanted? Now this seems like a longpants establishment!   Today's special is a most amusing indian ocean seagrass, handpicked by indigenous prawns, pre-chewed by local manatees, and smothered in a rich, red algae."
Fancy Fish: Extraordinary. And may I add that those are very impressive breeches you are wearing.,"Breeches?  Oh, oh, these old things?"
Fancy Fish: What is your name?,SpongeBob!
Fancy! Employee:,"'Oh,  SpongeRobert."
"Fancy Fish: Well, SpongeRobert, how would you like to join us. We're going to a party.","Boy, would I! I love parties!"
"Fancy Fish: What are you looking for, SpongeRobert?",I'm looking for the party!
Fancy Fish: This is the party.,"Well, were's all the party hats, where's the cake, and the clown? You can't have a party without a clown!"
"Fancy Fish:  Oh, SpongeRobert, if it weren't for your pants, I'd take you for the type of immature ignaramus that would frequent the Krusty Krab!","Wait, what's that?  The Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy movie is opening tonight! Wow! I totally forgot!  Hey guys, I got an idea! Let's all go to the Mermaid Man movie!"
"Fancy Fish:  You're incorrigible! But le cinema is a delightful idea. There is a foreign film at the arthouse I've been meaning to see. It's called, The Table.",I don't get it. We have been staring at this table for three hours. That table could use a cleaning.
Squidward: SHH! Some people are trying to enjoy le cinema.,"Oh! Hey Squidward! Hey, do you understand what this movie is about?"
"Squidward: Nobody does, it's art, now sit down!",Hey Squidward?
Squidward:  WHAT?!,Are you remembering to flip the patties clockwise? It's very important because the heat..
"Squidward:  PLEASE SIT DOWN! Movie Theater Attendant:  I'm sorry sir, you're being too loud. I am going to have to ask you to leave. Squidward:","Oh, wait, Squidward, I'll walk you out.  Squidward!"
"Sandy: Hey SpongeBob, y'all going to see the Mermaid Man movie with us? Fancy Fish: SpongeRobert? Yoohoo? Are you coming? We're going to drink some more coffee and watch the nightly news. Sandy: Wow, that sounds pretty grown up, SpongeRobert!","My pants say yes, yes, yes, but my heart says no! I want to see the Mermaid Man movie!"
Fancy Fish:  Now you really sound like one of those nitwits that frequents the Krusty Krab!,"Not only am I one of those nitwits, I actually work there!"
Fancy Fish: Ahh! A peasant in longpants! Pink Fancy Fish: Social-climbing sponge! Blue Fancy Fish: Poser! Fancy Fish: Let's leave this bottomfeeder. Sandy: That-a-boy! I got you a ticket just in case!,Really!
"Ticketman: I'm sorry, you can't come in. This movie is too silly for a cultivated gentleman of your pants length. House rules!","What? Rated for those in knee-highs only? Doh! I hate these pants!   Get off!  Oh!, now I know I'm an adult because I've been ripped off by these defective pants!"
"Mr. Krabs: What's goin' on? How pathetic, a man, in longpants, crying.","Mr. Krabs, why aren't you watching the movie?"
Mr. Krabs: How can I watch the movie with all this blubbering going on out here?,"Oh, Mr. Krabs, I'm not ready for long pants, I want my short pants back, but I can't because these are stuck on me."
"Mr. Krabs: Oh, for Pete's sake.  Sorry 'bout the legs boyo.","It's okay! I'm a sponge, remember?"
"Mr. Krabs:  Well, good! Now, I want you back on the grill tomorrow morning. And if it makes you feel anymore manly, you can do your grilling outdoors!",Sounds great! And I'll be driving to work.
"Driving Instructor: Wait a minute!  Oh no you don't! Not with those short pants! Mrs. Puff:  I don't know what that was all about, but I'm glad it's over.","Breaker, breaker outer perimeter, looks clear. Over."
"Patrick: Robert, Robert...uhh...Ronald, Ronald, Ryan.",Are you sure you're not trying to say Roger?
"Patrick: Oh, wait I got it. Ringo...","Patrick, we have visual contact. Now taking evasive action. Subject still in close proximity. Over."
Patrick: Hello?,Please reply.
Patrick: I wonder if I can order pizza with these things.,"Please, contact immanent Patrick. Respond now. Please. Please!"
"Patrick: SpongeBob, you're gonna need to speak up. My eardrums aren't what they used to be.","I can't speak up Patrick, there's a jellyfish here and I'm worried it might sting me if I make any loud...  ... noises."
Patrick: Oops.,"Is he still after us, Patrick?"
"Patrick: I don't know, buddy!",Should we turn around and check?
Patrick: Ok.,"Oh, I think I landed on my pain center."
Patrick: I think I landed on a rock.,"Patrick, look! There's a weird thing sticking out of the ground right there."
Patrick: That's just Squidward sunbathing again.,"No, not that, Patrick. This!"
Patrick: What is it?,I don't know. I think there's something buried underneath it. And I'm gonna go get some shovels so we can dig it up.
Patrick: We?,"Phew! Nothing like a little manual labor to put some hair on your chest, eh, Patrick?"
Patrick: I'll say.,"Plus look at what we unearthed! A UFO!  Go on, you first.  Kinda dark, huh?"
"Patrick: Yeah, dark.","Well, there's gotta be a light switch around here somewhere. Found it. Excuse me, sir.  Hey, Patrick, look! We're moving! And here's the steering wheel!"
"Patrick: Now hold it, SpongeBob. You better let me drive.",Gimme that wheel!
"Patrick: No! Let go! I wanna drive! Mr. Krabs: I don't understand, Squidward. Where are all the customers? I know the Krusty Krab isn't Bikini Bottom's most prestigious eatery, but at least it's better than that salty old Chum Bucket across the street. And that's our only competition. Squidward: Am I getting paid extra for this conversation? Mr. Krabs: Oh, come on, Squidward. Can't you just pretend to listen for once in your life? Do it for old Mr. Krabs. Squidward: Well, since you can't bring any customers into the Krusty Krab, have you ever thought about bringing the Krusty Krab to the customers? Mr. Krabs: Quiet, Squidward, I'm brainstorming! Ooh, ooh! What if instead of bringing customers to the Krusty Krab, we could bring the Krusty Krab to the customers? Squidward: La la la la la la la la la la la la. Mr. Krabs: Yes, of course! But how?","Can we park here?  Hey, Mr. Krabs! Look what Patrick and I found! We're gonna use it to go on a long journey."
"Patrick: Or even around the block! Mr. Krabs: That's it! We'll take the Krusty Krab on the road.  So long, boys. Make me lots of money!","Bye, Squidward. Bye, Mr. Krabs.  Bye, Squidward."
"Patrick: You said Bye, Squidward twice.",I like Squidward.
"Plankton:  A traveling restaurant, eh? It's not fair! I had that idea years ago! No matter. If Mr. Krabs wants to play dirty, then Plankton's ready for his turn to take his turn.",Hello!
Man: Hello.,Could I interest you in a Krabby Patty?
Man: No thanks. Patrick: Now what?,"I don't know, Patrick. Mr. Krabs said if we didn't find customers, not to come back.  Are you sure you don't want to be out first customer, sir."
"Man: Yeah, I'm pretty sure.",Wait! We'll pay ya!
"Man: Hey, thanks again, guys. Good luck with the restaurant!","Thank you, sir, come again!"
"Plankton: Those nincompoops are better salesmen than I suspected. Voice: Customer approaching. Plankton: Hello, little boy. Would you like a chum burger? Boy: Uh, does it come in raspberry? Plankton: Um, no. Boy: Blueberry? Plankton: No. Boy: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...raspberry? Plankton: Ah, come on, kid. You asked me that already. Now quit wasting my time! Mable: Hey, you can't talk to my son that way! Who do you think you are? Plankton: I'm Plankton, you old hag. And your son smells like boogers. Truck Driver: Hey, you can't talk about my wife that way. What do you think this is? Plankton: I think it's time for you to lose some weight, fatty. That's what this is. Mary: Hey, you can't talk to my grandson like that. Someone oughta put you in a mental hospital. Plankton: Someone should put you in a box floating down the river, Grandma! Mary: You're probably right. Plankton: You people are crazy. I'm getting out of here.  What the?  No! Controls malfunctioning!","Hey, Patrick."
Patrick: Yeah?,"Weren't you supposed to be on kitchen duty?  Oh, no. You burnt all the patties. It's hard as a rock. How are we gonna find somebody who would buy these?"
"Truck Driver:  Hey, the rocks are all gone. Crowd: Aww!","Folks, have I got a deal for you."
"Jack: Alright, get 'im!","Won't Mr. Krabs be so proud of us when he finds out how good we're doing. See any new customers, Patrick?"
"Patrick: No, but I see a sign. It says. Warning: Ab...eyes?","Here, let me see.  No, Patrick, that says Abyss."
"Patrick: Oh, OK. What's an abyss, SpongeBob?","An abyss is a bottomless...  ...chasm!  Pat, we're falling!"
Patrick: And now we're being bathed in an eerie red light! Plankton:  Yes! Yes! Patrick:  And now a deafening warning siren! Sea Monster:,"Look, Patrick! We've floated back up, out of the deep, dark, depressing, horrible abyss!"
Sea Monster: Hey!  Who are you calling dark and depressing?,"Daa! We didn't mean it that way, Mr. Sea Monster, sir! What we really wanna know is... are you hungry?"
"Sea Monster: Hungry? I've been asleep for 79 years. Which means my last meal was 79 years ago. Yes, I'm hungry.",Then try one of our Krabby Patties.
"Sea Monster:  Mmm! That's the best thing I've tasted since that sewer spill...back in '76. I'll take 640 of them. SpongeBob and Patrick: Woo hoo! Patrick: Order...uh...up! Plankton: Now that those two are out of the picture, all of the customers will come running to me.  This calls for drastic-er-est measures!  Okay, you bums, time for the second course; Chum Charges! Patrick:  SpongeBob! Our hull's been breached. Do you know what that means?",No!
"Patrick:  Neither do I! Plankton: Yes! I sunk the Krusty Krab! I sunk the Krusty Krab! I sunk the...  Ah, who needs that old Rust Bucket anyhow. Sea Monster: Come on in there! I want more sandwiches! Patrick:  SpongeBob, look!",What is it?
Patrick: It's a liquid.,"No, it's a solid! It's a solid!"
"SpongeBob and Patrick: It's a lol-squid. Sea Monster: All right, what's going on in there?  Hey, that looks like a sandwich to me!",But not just a sandwich. It's a...Chum-Wich.
Sea Monster:  Mmm! Now that's a sandwich!,Anything else before we shove off?
Sea Monster: I want dessert!,We- We don't have desserts.
"Plankton:  Don't give another penny to those fast-food phonies. That's right, they stole my idea. My, my, my... Sea Monster: Hey, a chocolate éclair!  Now that looks like dessert to me! Plankton: No! No, no, no, no, no, no, no! You- You've got it all wrong, see... Hey! Janitor:  There you are, Mr. Krabs, just like new again. Squidward: Now all we have to do is keep SpongeBob away from the...","We're back, Mr. Krabs!"
"Mr. Krabs: Tell me all about it. Tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me!","You wouldn't believe it Mr. Krabs, we had so many new customers!"
Mr. Krabs: I don't care about that. Tell me about the money.,"There we were at the bottom of a deep, dark, abyss. And we had to let go of something heavy."
Patrick: And paper. Mr. Krabs: You let go of all the money I earned as ballast?,"But on the bright side, we did manage to bring back 37,000 pounds of these decorative deep sea rocks! And then, the ugly mollusk ran all the way home..."
"Patrick:  SpongeBob, you gotta see this! It's an emergency broadcast on my TV! TV announcer: The day you've been waiting for is almost here. That's right. Glove World! has a new ride. It's big... TV announcer: It's fast... Nancy Suzy Fish: Harold, no! TV announcer: It's painful... TV announcer: It's the Fiery Fist O' Pain. Opening tomorrow only at Glove World! Patrick: Tomorrow! SpongeBob, we gotta get to bed so we can be first in line!",Glove World! Roller coaster. First in line.
"Dream SpongeBob: Excuse me, which way to the Fist O' Pain? Dream SpongeBob: In the name of amusement, no...!",I don't want to ride the Fist Of Pain!
Patrick: You ready to ride the Fist O' Pain?,"No! Well, yeah. It's just that I had a bad dream last night."
Patrick: Really? Me too!,"What was your dream about, Patrick?"
"Patrick: Oh, look, the bus is here!","Wait for me, Patrick.  Whoo! Fiery Fist O' Pain, here we come."
"Timmy Monroe: Yeah, dudes, we're all riding the Fist O' Pain. Boy #2: I heard somebody rode it and his spine fell out. Timmy:  Dude, I hope my spine falls out. Taylor:  Yeah, me too.","Boy, the Fist O' Pain sounds..."
"Patrick: Really, really scary. I mean fun-ifying. I mean horror-tastic. I mean fun-ible! Fun, really, really fun.","Yeah, really fun. That sure looks like fun."
"Patrick: Yeah, I can't wait to ride it. All: Yes, we're here! Whoo! Employee: Tickets, please.",No tickets. I must have left it at home.
Patrick: I swallowed my tickets.,I guess we're not gonna be riding the Fist O' Pain today.
"Nat: Hold on a second, there's your tickets in your back pockets.","Oh, barnacles!.  It sure was lucky we found our tickets."
"Patrick: Yeah, bad luck. I mean good luck, very good luck.",There it is. The line looks awfully long.
"Patrick: Oh, I know! Let's go on some of the dumb kiddie rides first.","Yeah, and then the Fist O' Pain will seem even cooler."
Patrick: Phew.,Can you believe some people are afraid to ride roller coasters?
"Patrick: Yeah, only a real baby would be afraid of a roll... Whoa!","I can't believe it, Patrick. It's Glovey Glove!  Get over there and I'll take your picture with him.  Get closer, Patrick."
Patrick: Nuh-uh.,"Come on, closer.  That's it, a little more. Now hold onto his thumb. Give me a big smile."
"Patrick: How do I look?  Wow, I look great. SpongeBob & Patrick: The Mitten!","I mean, The Mitten."
Patrick: That ride's for babies.,Yeah. Let's ride it just to see how baby-fied it is.
Patrick: I guess that ride was too much for the little guy.,"Well, the line looks a little bit shorter now. Can you believe that some people are scared of this ride?"
"Patrick: Yeah, it's perfectly safe. No one gets hurt riding these roller coasters. Old Man Walker: Oh, why, why, why?  Why won't you let me on the ride? Harold: Sir, you have a serious medical condition. Old Man Walker: But it's my birthday! Patrick: Yeah! SpongeBob & Patrick: One more time! Tom: You know, this is the line for the bathroom.",We've gone eight times.
Patrick: And I went three times all by myself. Tom: I'm going to walk away now.,Bye.
Patrick: Have fun! Larry: SpongeBob! Patrick!,"Hello, Larry."
"Larry: I just got off the Fist O' Pain. Man, what a rush.  You smell that? That's the smell of adrenaline.","Oh, it's, uh...  very manly, Larry."
"Larry:  SpongeBob, I'm not smelling any adrenaline on you. You haven't gone on the ride?","Um, I have a confession to make. We haven't gone on the ride because I'm... hungry. I'm very hungry. Hungry, hungry!"
"Larry: Come on, Patrick. You and me, pal? Patrick: I'm hungry, too. Larry: Maybe I should stop making people smell me. Patrick: Want some?","No thanks, Patrick. Um, you got ice cream in your eyebrows."
"Patrick: Yeah, that's the problem with this brand. I'll be right back.",Hurry back so we can go on the ride.
"Ice Cream:  What's the matter, SpongeBob?","Oh, delicious dairy treat, I don't know what to do."
Ice Cream: Patrick's your best friend. You can't let him down.,"I know, but the ride is really scary."
Ice Cream: You wanna see scary? I'll show you scary!,"Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!"
"Ice Cream: You like that? You like that? Huh, you like that? Patrick: It's just a ride. What are you so scared about? You can do it. Reflection: No you can't. You're a big crybaby. Patrick: Oh, yeah?  I thought we'd settled this the last time!","Ow, quit it! Ow, quit it! Ow, quit it!"
"Patrick:  SpongeBob, I have to tell you something.","I have to tell you something too, Patrick."
Henry:  Attention. Glove World! will be closing in five minutes. SpongeBob and Patrick: Five minutes?! Ice Cream: What are you looking at?,"Warning! This ride may cause: Crying, screaming, projectile vomiting, amnesia, spine loss, embarrassing accidents, uncontrollable gas..."
SpongeBob & Patrick: ...and explosive diarrhea.,Is that all?
"Patrick: Big deal, I did half that stuff this morning. Henry:  Last call for the Fiery Fist O' Pain.","Well, this is it, Pat."
Patrick: Yep.,Here we go.
Patrick: Uh-huh.,On the Fiery Fist O' Pain.
Patrick: After you.,We made it.
"Patrick: Yeah. Employee #3: Please keep your arms and legs inside the vehicle at all times.  There. Employee #4: Now if you could just sign this release, involving Glove World! in case of accidental spine loss...  Well, nice knowing you. Employee #3: Ready in ten...","This is it, Patrick."
"Employee #3: Nine, eight...",We made it!
"Employee #3: Seven, six... Patrick: We're not scaredy cats. Employee #3: Five, four...",We're not crybabies.
"Employee #3: Three, two... SpongeBob & Patrick: We're brave! Employee #3: One... Henry:  Uh, we're experiencing some technical difficulties. Employee #3: Man, this cheap thing is always breaking down. Hey, sorry, guys. Maybe next time.","Patrick, I have a confession to make. I was really scared about going on this ride."
Patrick: Me too.,"I didn't know how to tell you because, well, I didn't want to disappoint you."
Patrick: I didn't want you to be disappointed in me.,But now we don't have to face our fears. The ride is broken.
"Patrick: Yeah! Employee #3: Oh, wait, it's fine. SpongeBob & Patrick: Huh? Employee #3: Have fun.","Patrick, I don't want to face my fears. I'm afraid of them!  Goodbye, Patrick."
"Patrick: Goodbye, SpongeBob. Woman:  Please wait until the car has come to a complete stop. And stop crying! Employee #3: It's over. You can get out now. SpongeBob & Patrick: We did it!",We conquered our fears!
Patrick: We stopped crying!,We survived the Fist o' Pain!
"Employee #3: Hey, hold it right there! You forgot these. SpongeBob & Patrick: Our spines!  Yeah!",Let's go again!
Patrick: Yeah! TV narrator:  We now return to tonight's Creepy Time Theater presentation of Night of the Robot. Man being chased:,"Hurry, Gary, the scary robot movie's on."
Gary: Meow.,"What do you mean I shouldn't watch this? Scary movies don't always freak me out!  What if Mom is a robot? What if Uncle Sherm is a robot? What if Gary is a robot? Gary?  Psst, Gary? Gare-Bear?"
Gary: Meow!,"Gary, if you were a robot, you'd tell me, right?"
Gary: Meow.,"Oh, I've got nothing to worry about. And now to get a good night's sleep.  Robot! OH MY GOSH!  Huh?"
"Mr. Krabs: How about a little music to count me money to? Radio DJ:   And now for the #1 song in Bikini Bottom: Electric Zoo. Mr. Krabs: Hey, that's pretty catchy. Bee-bee-boo-bop, bee-bee-boo-beep. Yeah, that's not bad! I love this young people's music!",I SURRENDER!!! Oh...
Squidward: SpongeBob!,"Squidward, why are you wearing my hat on your nose?"
Squidward:  I'm not wearing your hat on my nose! I'm waiting for #17's order!,"#17 --  Krabby Patty and a medium beverage. Course. Sorry Squidward, I'm not really feeling myself today. I guess I'm a little bit jumpy. I keep thinking robots are taking over the world, probably on account of this movie I watched last night where robots take over the world. I even asked Gary if he was a robot! Pretty funny, huh?"
Squidward:  Hilarious. Just deliver the food.,"There you go! Enjoy your... Say, you're not a robot, are you?"
"Thaddeus: No, I'm not.","Well, keep your eyes peeled.  They're everywhere. Back to work!"
Mr. Krabs:  I feel completely recharged!,That sounds like Mr. Krabs.
"Mr. Krabs: Come on, little buddy, play it again.  Please? One more time, for me.","That was strange. Mr. Krabs was talking to his radio, and he said he feels recharged.  If I didn't know better, I'd say he was...  ...a robot! Nah."
"Mr. Krabs:  Yes, hello. I was wondering if you could play that song again. Radio DJ:  Hmmm... which one, man? Mr. Krabs: The one that goes bee-boo-boo-bop, boo-boo-beep. Radio DJ: No, man, you're thinking of wee-wub-wub-womp-wub-wub-womp. Mr. Krabs: Bee-boo-boo-boo-boo-bop,  bee-boo-boo-bop,  boo-boo-bee-bop?  Not bee-boo-boo-beep?  Bop...?  Beep?!  Boo-boo-bop?!","Oh my gosh. Why was Mr. Krabs making all those beeping sounds? Could it be that he's...  ...a robot? Nah.  Oh, Squidward, it's terrible! Mr. Krabs... talking to radio... beeping sounds... strange dancing... robot!"
"Squidward:  That's great, SpongeBob. Why don't you work on this problem back in the kitchen!","I'm serious, Squidward! Mr. Krabs is a robot. And I can prove it, too."
Squidward:  How did you...?,"Let's see, in the movie the robots didn't have a sense of humor! They couldn't laugh. Hey, Mr. Krabs!"
"Mr. Krabs:  What is it, boy?",Squidward just told me a hilarious joke and I thought you might like to hear it.
"Mr. Krabs: Is it true, Squidward? Is it hilarious? Squidward: Umm... yeah, sure. Mr. Krabs: Well, let's hear it, lad.","Okay, here it goes! Uhh, how'd it go Squidward?"
"Squidward:  Uhh, it went, umm, uhh, let's see, uhh... why couldn't the 11-year-old get into the pirate movie? Mr. Krabs: Why? Squidward: It was rated ARRGH!  Arrgh! Because it's... about... pirates. Mr. Krabs: I'm not paying you to do stand up, Mr. Squidward! Now get back to work!","Not even a chuckle! See, Squidward? He didn't laugh because he couldn't laugh because he's...  ...a robot!"
"Squidward: There's a logical explanation why he didn't laugh, SpongeBob. He's obviously heard it before. The only reason you think Krabs is a robot is because you watched that stupid movie. Now why don't you...","Hey, Mr. Krabs!"
"Mr. Krabs:  What? What is it, boy?",Squidward's father never hugged him. Isn't that sad?
"Mr. Krabs: Yes, I suppose that is rather sad, but Squidward can hug himself during his break. Now get back to work!",Just like the robot in the movie. He couldn't cry either.
"Squidward: SpongeBob, this is getting ridiculous. I'll have you know my father loved me very much!","That's the final test, Squidward; the love test. Robots can't love."
"Squidward: No, wait, SpongeBob!","Hey, Mr. Krabs!"
"Mr. Krabs:  What is it, SpongeBob?!",I just wanted to tell you that Squidward loves you!
"Mr. Krabs: Get back to work, Mr. Squidward.",Squidward?
"Mr. Krabs: Aw, me radio died!  Hmmm, these batteries still have a little juice in 'em. I know! I'll give 'em to Pearl for Christmas.  Me hard-boiled egg is ready!  I can already taste it. Come to Papa.  Got ya! And what good is a hot-boiled egg without a little salt?",Mr. Krabs!
"Mr. Krabs:  OH, MY EYES!!!!",Mr...!
"Squidward: Will you be quiet?! Now listen, what did these robots in the movie look like?","Well, they had piercing red eyes, metal pinchers for hands, and they ran on batteries."
"Squidward: Okay, so tell me, does Mr. Krabs look anything like that?! Mr. Krabs:  AHHHH! AHHHH!! AHHH!!! AHHH!!!! OHH!!! AHHHH!! AHH! AHHH!! AHHH!!! AAAAHHHHH!!!! AAAHH! SpongeBob & Squidward: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Mr. Krabs: Squidward: I'll evacuate the customers, you call the navy!","Hello, Operator? Get me the Navy!"
Operator: Hello. You've reached the Navy's automated phone service.,Squidward! The robots are running the Navy!
"Squidward: NOT THE NAVY!!!!  Attention, everyone, run for your lives! Robots have taken over the world!  Our world!  What do we do now?","I don't know!  Hey, a nickel!"
Squidward: SpongeBob.,Sorry.
"Mr. Krabs:  Ah, that's better.  Bee-boo-boo-boo-bee-bop, boo-boo-bop. Squidward: We need to find out what that robot did with the real Mr. Krabs, but how?","Well, in the movie the hero teams up with a buddy, and they get the poop on the robot."
Squidward: They poop on the robot?,"Yeah, you know, they get the straight poop, ask questions, get information."
"Squidward: I never thought I'd say this but, SpongeBob, let's get that poop! Mr. Krabs: Oh, hello, boys.  What can I do for you?  Heh-heh, why did you lock the door?  Why do you have that rope? Who's watching the cash register?!  SpongeBob! Squidward! What's the meaning of this?! Untie me this instant! Squidward: Shut up! Mr. Krabs: Sweet Davy Jones, what the heck is going on?! Squidward: I said  shut up!, you bucket of bolts!",I can't take it!
"Squidward: SpongeBob, are you okay?","Oh, Squidward, seeing you slap Mr. Krabs like that is just too horrible to watch!"
"Squidward: No, that's not Mr. Krabs. That's Robot Krabs.","Oh, yeah."
Squidward: And the only way to deal with these robot types is to find out what they know.,Right.
"Squidward: SpongeBob, you got to ask him a question first.","Oh, yeah. What color is my underwear?"
"Squidward: SpongeBob, let me handle this.  Where's Mr. Krabs? Mr. Krabs:  What are you talkin' about? I'm Mr. Krabs. Squidward: We can do this all night if you want. Where's Mr. Krabs? Mr. Krabs: I'm Mr. Krabs.",Where's Mr. Krabs?
Mr. Krabs: I'm Mr. Krabs. Squidward: Where's Mr. Krabs? Mr. Krabs: I am Mr. Krabs! I am! I am! I am! I am! I am! I am! I am!,This is one stubborn robot.
Mr. Krabs:  WHAT?!  You think I'm a ROBOT?!?! Squidward: We don't think; we know. Mr. Krabs: That's the silliest thing I ever heard! I am Mr. Krabs! Squidward:  He's not cracking. We'll never get it out of him this way.,"I got an idea.  Keep an eye on him, Squidward. Don't fall for any of his robo tricks.  If Robot Krabs won't tell us where Mr. Krabs is, maybe one of his little robot friends will."
"Squidward: SpongeBob, uhh, that's a blender.","Yeah, but I saw Mr. Krabs talking with his radio before. He called it his little buddy."
"Squidward: Oh, really? Put it on the table, SpongeBob. Mr. Krabs: You're gonna interrogate my blender? You're crazy. Squidward: We're just gonna see what your little buddy knows. Mr. Krabs:  No, wait! What are you going to do to me blender?! That cost me money! Squidward: Where's Mr. Krabs?  Not talking, eh? Mr. Krabs: NOOOO! That cost me $24.95!",I guess it didn't know anything.
"Squidward: Go get the toaster. Mr. Krabs: No, not me toaster. That cost me $32.50!  $62.67!  Four... well, actually, that one was a gift.  NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!","This is the last robot, Squidward."
"Mr. Krabs: No, not my cash register! I raised it myself. I got it when it was just a little calculator.  No! Squidward: I thought you said robots can't cry.",I also said they couldn't love.
Mr. Krabs:  I loved it like it was me own.,"Uh, at least he's not laughing."
"Mr. Krabs: Oh, I remember the laughs we used to share! Squidward: SpongeBob uhh, how did that movie of yours end?","The movie? Oh, yeah! The ending was great! Turns out there weren't any robots after all. It was just their...  imagination.  Hey, it's time to feed Gary."
"Mr. Krabs:  SQUIDWARD!!! Mr. Krabs: Bleh! Squidward:  May I help you? Mr. Krabs:  Well... it's almost quittin' time, Squidward. You... got any big plans for after work? . Squidward: Nope. .","Hey, Squidward.  Pretty incredible shift, huh?"
Squidward:  If you say so.,Any plans after work?
Squidward:  No.,"Yeah, me neither. Just gonna be hangin' at 'Casa de Esponja'. Feel free to drop by if you're in the neighborhood.   Hey, Squidward. Wait up! Squidward! I realized I really didn't extend a proper invitation back there.  So what do ya say, Squidward? How about you come over to my house for a visit tonight? . Squidward?  Squidward?  Squidward?  Squidward? ."
"Squidward: SpongeBob, thank you so much for that lovely invitation but I must respectfully tell you I will never visit you.  Ever!  Take heart, Squidward, it'll all be over soon. .","Oh, please come over for a visit, Squidward! It's been so long. I can't even remember your last visit."
Squidward: That's probably because I've never visited you.,"Please? Please? Please?!  Please?! Please?!  Please?  Please?  Please? Please? Please?  Please, please? Pleeeaase? Pleaaaaaase? Please? Please? Okay, Squidward. Maybe some other time."
French Narrator: Twenty-four hours later...,"Hey-ho, Squidward. You got any..."
"Squidward: Before you ask me that question, ask yourself this: Why would I leave the comfort of my home for your dirty little hovel?",What if I got a couple of throw pillows? . Patrick? Has Squidward ever visited you at home?
Patrick: Only once. To take back some stuff I borrowed.,He said he wouldn't leave the comfort of his own home for my dirty little hovel.
"Patrick:  Borrow something, and he'll have to come over to get it back.  Uhh!  Well... hey, thanks for lettin' me play puzzle with you. See ya later!",That's it!
"Squidward:  A stick of butter, and just a touch of pepper...  Dya—ah!  Not on the rug!  SpongeBob! Will you keep it down? I am trying to cook!","Oh, hey, Squidward! Just doin' a little home improvement."
"Squidward: Well, you made me spill pepper all over my imported rug!","Oh-okay, Squidward."
Squidward: SpongeBob!  I need the right tool for the job. Huh?,"Dear Squidward, Thanks For lending me your vacuum cleaner! Sincerely, SpongeBob SquarePants. ... Oh, P.S. SquarePants residence."
Squidward: Why do you have my vacuum cleaner?,Squidward!  It's been a while since I last got a call from my favorite next-door neighbor!
"Squidward:  That's because I've never called you! Now, why have you stolen my vacuum cleaner?","I didn't steal it, silly, I borrowed it."
Squidward: Are you done cleaning up that dingy hole you call home?,"You won't even recognize the place, Squidward!"
"Squidward: Yeah, probably not.  I'll be over to get my vacuum in twenty minutes.","Oh, Squidward is finally coming over for a visit! Squidward! I've been expecting you! Welcome to my humble abode! I hope that you will find comfort. And please don't hesitate to ask me if there's anything I can..."
Squidward: I just want my vacuum back...  You've made an exact replica of my living room!,"Well, you said you wouldn't leave the comfort of your home.  So I brought the comfort here!  Isn't it great?!"
"Squidward:  No! It isn't! You can't just steal my decorating style, and...  Never mind. Just give me my vacuum.",Would you care for a cool and refreshing iced tea?
Squidward: No.,Hot hors d'oeuvres?
Squidward: No.,Nachos?
Squidward: No.,Blancmange?
Squidward: I don't even know what that is!  Please just give me my vacuum so I can get back home. I have a casserole in the oven!,"Yes, of course.  Please take a seat while I go grab your vacuum.  Please make yourself at home!  Enjoying your visit so far, Squidward?"
Squidward: This is not a visit. You are going to get my vacuum.  And stop fluffing this pillow!,"Okay, Squidward, just yell if you need anything."
"Squidward: Imbecile.  How did he do it?  He got my coffee table, my vase, snack table, coasters, and my Art of the Clarinet Coffee Table Book.  And this pillow looks just like the one Mommy made for me. He even copied her stitch signature! For Squiddy, with love, Mama.",You yelled?
Squidward:  Never mind! I'll find the vacuum myself!,Then okay! Make yourself at home! Squidward sure seems to be enjoying his visit.
"Squidward:  My hallway...  Dear Neptune!  He even got the chip in the paint from when I moved in!  Okay, Squiddy. Don't get creeped out. Just get the vacuum cleaner and go home.  Oh, right. Isn't this neat? My bathroom.  I have to give him credit, though.Every detail is correct.  How does he know the exact contents of my medicine cabinet?  My rash cream?  That little sneak! '",Did someone say rash cream?
"Squidward:  SpongeBob, you idiot!","Squidward, the rash cream.  Oops.  Oh, no!  I don't think I have a cream for that."
"Squidward:  Oh, what a horrible nightmare.","So, are you enjoying your stay at 'Chez Spongè?'"
Squidward: Uh... will you excuse me for a moment? I need to use the bathroom again.,"Tsk.  Hurry back, Squidward!"
"Squidward:  I’ve gotta find that vacuum and get out of here! Squidward:  He copied all 492 of my self-portraits...  ...and they're better than mine!  He even got the rug right. Get a hold of yourself, Squiddy, old bean. This doesn't mean anything.  This...all of this is just...  Mimicry! He doesn't possess your style, or your decorating acumen, or your love of the finer things. In fact, the only thing that he has is... is... my vacuum cleaner! And I'll remedy that...  posthaste!  A-ha! He put you in here along with all his bad tastes! You're coming home...  Home... with me... with me... Squidward:  SpongeBob!  Is it really you?  It is you!  Come on, baby. We are gonna walk out of this horror show the way we walked into it: with dignity and aplomb.  My house... Patrick: You just missed the fire. Squidward: What happened to my house? Fireman: Oh, some knucklehead left a casserole in the oven. Squidward: SpongeBob!","Aw, don't worry, Squidward. You're more than welcome to stay at my home until you get your house fixed."
"Squidward: Why, yes, I'd love another spot of tea, Mr. Vacuum Cleaner.  Care for some casserole?",Squidward? You okay? Squidward?  Squidward!
"Squidward:  Ah... Replica, sweet replica.","It sure was nice having Squidward over for a visit, eh, Gary?"
Gary: Meow. Squidward: Just clock out already!,"I'm trying Squidward, but clocking out is the most upsetting part of the day. At least soon I'll be home, where I can relive all the wonderful moments from my day at work.  I'm all over it boss man.  Order up Gare-ward!"
Gary: Meow-Meow.,"It's so hard to leave, even for one night."
"Squidward: I beg to differ.  I mean, just look at this place , it's disgusting. Not to mention our cheap boss. Mr. Krabs:  Woo-hoo! Got it. Hey who are you calling cheap? Squidward: The guy who won't even spree for a doormat! Mr. Krabs: Oh, give me a break Mr. Complains a Lot, as if you know anything about running a restaurant. Squidward: Well if I did run a restaurant, my exquisite taste in gourmet know-how would have customers waiting in line for years, just to get a table. Mr: Krabs:  See you fellas tomorrow. Gourmet know-how. Squidward: Laugh it up! My knowledge and intelligence could even make the Chum Bucket a success Plankton: Hey, hey, hey! I'm yelling over here! Squidward: Ouch! I think I picked up a tick.  Plankton, what do you want? Plankton: Well I like to take you up on your offer to make a Chum Bucket a success! Squidward: Oh, I don't know about that. Mr. Krabs: I don't value you at all! Squidward: I'll do it.",Don't you think that working at the Chum Bucket AND The Krusty Krab is a conflict of interest Squidward?
"Squidward: Gee SpongeBob, I haven't thought of that, you're right. I quit. Squidward: Euggh, a bit industrial but I can make it work. Squidward:   You call this a kitchen? We should start by tearing out this wall so the chef is visible to his adoring fans. Karen: Great, two mega-la-maniacs. Squidward: I don't see any use for these ol' claptraps. We should just break them down for parts. Plankton: But, but that's my Chum fueled antenna massager. Squidward: Oh, I'm sorry, remind me, who's in complete creative control here?! Plankton: Anyone can come in and redecorate pal, but you still haven't proven how you're going to make Chum edible. Squidward: So I guess the proof is in the pudding, then isn't it? Plankton: You're making Chum pudding? Squidward: I'm making Chum Fricassee. Plankton: Frica-what? Squidward: You see Plankton , there's a trick to making Chum edible.  We just have to follow Grandma Tentacles secret fricassee recipe. Plankton: Secret recipe, you say huh? What's in it? Squidward: Nice try, tiny cyclops, you won't get Grandma's delicate mix of seasonings and spices that easily. But, preparation cannot be rushed, each batch much simmer for exactly 24 hours. French Narrator: 24 hours later... Plankton: Who took my blue blanky!?  Huh, this is the secret stuff? Doesn't look very promising. Squidward: Oh just taste it already! Plankton:  Well the smell doesn't make me wretch.  Hey, that ain't bad at all!  It's actually amazing!  This is gold in the form of chum!  Squidward my friend, you'll be the toast of Bikini Bottom! This recipe is going to make you a star. Squidward: A star. Plankton: A star. Announcer for Flavors of the Bottom : Hello hungry eaters, it's time for, Flavors of the Bottom, a delectable at dining out at Bikini Bottom,  look with your host Perch Perkins! Perch Perkins: Hey all you bottom feeders! If you already eaten, well you might want to make room for seconds!   Cause' we are tasting Bikini Bottom's new upscale eatery, Le' Chum Bucket.  Look at all those classy diners. What's on the menu? It's called, Chum Fricassee.  Earlier, I spoke to head chef Squidward Tentacles. He shared with us why it's such a, Frica-success! Squidward: Actually, I can't share the recipe with you, it's a secret. Mr. Krabs:  What? Plankton:  That's right Krabs , now we have a secret formula, and it's a bottle, and you can't have it! Squidward: Give me that, please.  Thank you. Plankton:  Secret! Mr. Krabs: Shhhh , what's gotten into you?!  High fo-looting customers don't bark on the top of their lungs like a sea dog! Mr. Krabs: Reservation?! In this sinkhole?! Squidward: What's seems to be the problem? Well, well, well,  if it isn't Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob. Now just follow me. I believe I have a table reserved just for you.  Bon Appetit, Suckers!  See you in two years! Karen: There's a two-year wait for a table. Plankton: Yeah, see how you like it Krabs! French Narrator:  One week later... Nancy-Suzy Fish: I was here first! Tyler: No, I was! Squidward: One at a time, please. Nancy-Suzy Fish: Oh, Mr. Tentacles, it's so nice to finally meet you! Squidward: Yes, isn't it?  Next? Whoa!  Plankton! Plankton:  Yeah, what's up? Squidward: Are you not seeing the line of people out there?! What's the hold-up with the new batch of Fricassee?! Plankton: What's the hold-up? You said it took exactly 24 hours. Squidward: I don't care if it isn't finished! Just take the orders! Plankton: But I haven't even sauteed it yet. Whatever you say. Mr. Krabs:  What am I gonna do? What am I gonna do?","Oh, sir, I'm sure that the new Chum Fricassee can't taste better than a Krabby Patty."
"Plankton: Thank you, sir. Come again. Enjoy your leftovers. Tyler: Oh, I will.  Please, sir. Take my chum. It's the least I can do to help. Poor guys. Mr. Krabs:  You go first, boy.","Hey, this is great!"
Mr. Krabs: Better than a Krabby Patty?,A what?
"Mr. Krabs:  This is delicious! No! I'm ruined! Squidward:  Here you go, folks. Enjoy my world-famous Fricassee.  Grandma! Grandma Tentacles:  Someone's been cooking my recipe  and they're doing it wrong! Squidward: What are you doing here? Grandma Tentacles: Saving my recipe from my bumbling grandson! Squidward:  Ow! I didn't do it! Uh, uh, it was him! Plankton: What?! Oh, you're not pinning this on me! You said you didn't care if it was ready or not! Squidward: Okay, I admit it! I admit it! But--but what's the big deal?  Ow! Grandma Tentacles: The big deal is when the chum is not cooked for exactly 24 hours, it causes severe tummy trouble! Male Fish: You fed us, undercooked chum?! Grandma Tentacles: Tear him apart, people! Fred: I've had it and I'm not gonna take it anymore! Plankton: Not the napkins! Angry Mob:  He got what he deserves, that's what I say!  It's on fire! It's all burning! Run! Plankton: My restaurant! Squidward: My fan base! Grandma Tentacles: I hope you learned your lesson, genius! Squidward: Ow!","Gee, Mr. Krabs, it sure was nice of you to hire Squidward back. Especially since he tried to destroy your business and all."
"Mr. Krabs: I figure it's the least I can do for him after causing all that mayhem over at the Chum Bucket. In fact, I promoted him. He's our new doormat! Squidward: Ow!  Living the dream! SpongeBob and Patrick: One, two, three, four... Patrick: I declare a thumb war! Patrick: Huh?",Yah!
"SpongeBob and Patrick: Patrick: Now that was a great thumb war, mister!","It was Patrick, but now we will let peace prevail. Let us sign this treaty, and our thumbs will live in harmony."
SpongeBob and Patrick:,"Great job, Patrick!"
"Patrick: Gee, thanks, SpongeBob. That means a lot!","Wow, giving someone a thumbs-up feels great!"
"Customer: Boy, these Krabby Patties are delicious. Other customer: I'll say. They're absolutely stupendous.","Well, you guys are stupendous customers."
"Customer:  That thumbs-up really touched my heart. Other customer: Yeah, me too. It's like there's a thumbprint of happiness on my aorta.",Flipping.
"Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, you shifty sea-slacker, have you counted the cups like I told to do?","I sure have, Mr. Krabs. Five. But thanks for being on top of the situation. You're a fantastic boss."
"Mr. Krabs: Well, thank you. That's nice of you to say. Now back to work!","Yes, sir! ..."
"Squidward: Oh, SpongeBob, do you have one of your precious thumbs-up for me? I would just love to get one.","No, Squidward, I do not have a thumbs-up for you. I've got two thumbs-up!"
Squidward: Oh. That's... thank you. I think.,"Whoo! Hey, Sandy, I'm giving your outfit two thumbs-up."
Sandy:  This old thing? It's just something I threw on.,"Well, girl, you really make it work."
"Sandy: Okay. Driver: Excuse me, I'm trying to find the Goo Lagoon and I'm totally lost.",Great job on not being afraid to ask for directions.
Driver: Hm... that way? Okay.,"You got the right stuff, golden boys."
"Sandy: SpongeBob, don't you think that you may be using the thumbs-up just a teensy bit too much?","Are you kidding? The thumbs-up is an iconic, internationally-recognized sign of positivity and affirmation. Boop!"
"Sandy: Yeah, I know. But when you do it all the time the thumbs-up loses its meaning. It becomes not special.","Well, I happen to think you can never give too many thumbs-up."
"Sandy: I don't know, SpongeBob. I think you should be careful.","Oh, Sandy, don't be such a worry whale. What could do wrong? Ah.  Whoo, I'm giving away thumbs-up today. Hey, guy. Way to wait."
Fish Guy: Yeah...," Hey, guy. Way to walk."
Fish Guy:,"Oh, this feels great. Way to flick that eye booger--"
"Thumbhawk two: Thumbhawk one. Thumbhawk one. This is Thumbhawk two. We got two thumbs down. Repeat. Two thumbs down! Thumbhawk one: Thumbhawk one here, copy that. Initiate emergency procedures. Thumbhawk two: Initiating on my count. Three, two, one. Thumbhawk one and two:","My thumbs. My thumbs! My thumbs! How's it looking, Dr. Manfish?"
"Dr. Manfish: Well, I'm afraid it doesn't look good, SpongeBob. It seems you've severely damaged your ulnar collateral ligament, possible from some kind of repeated action.",An action like a thumbs-up?
Dr. Manfish: Certainly that is one possibility. Hitchhiking could be another.,"But doctor, I will be able to use my thumbs again, right?"
"Dr. Manfish:  SpongeBob, I can't say that for certain. I'm only a board certified thumbologist. I don't know everything. I can only say that we must give it time and see. There are limits to science. But you should prepare yourself for the possibility that you may never regain the use of your thumbs again. Mr. Krabs: All right, you boneless invertebrate lazy bones...  Come on. Flip them patties, boy-o, just like the old days.","Aye aye, Mr. Krabs."
"Squidward: Uh, let me give you a hand. My thumbs work.",No! I can do it.
"Mr. Krabs: I'm sorry, son, but I have a business to run. I'm gonna have to let you go.","That's okay, Mr. Krabs. I understand."
"Mr. Krabs: Now where's me new fry cook? Mr. Krabs: There he is. Come on in here. Patrick: Uh, sorry, SpongeBob.","Patrick, I'm glad it's you. Better than some weird stranger, right?"
"Patrick: Uh, yeah, I guess. I probably won't even be able to do good flipping.","With a little practice, you could do anything.   Oh..."
All:,"OI' Patty flippin' patties. Who'd a' thunk it, huh?"
"Customer: Poor kid. ♪Thumbs are opposable, thumbs are great. We share 'em with the monkeys and with the apes. You can grab, you can tie, you can pinch a cheek. But without your thumbs you're all thumbs. All thumbs, no thumbs, busted up your thumbs. Sucking on your pinky will sure look dumb. You can never hitch a ride or pull out a plum. Without your thumbs you're all thumbs. All thumbs, no thumbs, fells like a crime. Can't pull up a zipper or flip a dime. And forget about chopsticks you'll starve every time. Without your thumbs you're all thumbs. Thumbs, Thumbs, Thumbs, Thumbs, Thumbs, Thumbs, Thumbs, Thumbs. Without your thumbs you're all thumbs.♪ Sandy:  SpongeBob! It's me, Sandy!  Hey SpongeBob! I haven't seen you in days, whatcha doin'?",Waiting for autumn.
"Sandy: Come now, it can't be that bad!","Leave me Sandra, forget you ever knew me! Erase from your memory the face of this useless sponge! With these......mutilated thumbs!"
Sandy:  Don't give up SpongeBob! You have to find something you love! Something to live for!,And what might that be?
Sandy:  I don't know SpongeBob! That's a question you have to answer for yourself.,Sandy? Sandy! Sandy come back!  I need you to help me open this jar of peanut butter!  Enough sitting around feeling sorry for myself!
"Patrick: Uhhhhhh, turn over.",My thumbs are better and I am ready to work!
Patrick: The job's taken.,Well I'm taking it back.
Patrick: Just how are you gonna do that?,Thumb war.
"Patrick:  En garde! SpongeBob and Patrick: One, two, three, four. I declare a thumb war! Patrick: Admit it! You have been bested!",Never!
Patrick: Then prepare to be pinned! Sandy: Don't give up! Something to live for! Customers: Something to live for! Customers: Woooaaahh!,Yeeeaaahh!
"Sandy: SpongeBob wins! Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, you old patty junkie! Welcome home son! Patrick: It's okay, I hate work anyway.",Oh Patrick!
"Patrick: No really, I do hate work!  Everybody's laughing! Oh hey SpongeBob, I got something for ya!",Yes Patrick?
"Mr. Krabs:  No, it's impossible. I must've counted me money a dozen times, and it still comes up short. Profits are down. Oh, I feel sorry for me self. Squidward: Would you like a drink with that order? Wobbles: Oh no, thanks. I got me one of those new KelpShakes before I came in here. Squidward: That comes out to two dollars even. Wobbles: Wow, what a steal. Mr. Krabs: What the...why didn't that guy order a deliciously over-priced fountain beverage with his krabby patty? Squidward: Mr. Krabs, we haven't sold a single soda in days. Mr. Krabs:  What? Why not?  All right, boy, it's done! You're gonna suck the whole cup down your gullet if you're not careful.","Sorry, Mr Krabs, it's just that this KelpShake tastes so good."
Mr. Krabs: KelpShake?,"Look around ya. Everyone's enjoying a delicious KelpShake.  Mm-mm. I'll be right back, Mr Krabs. I'm gonna get a refill."
"Mr. Krabs: Refill? That's it. Listen up, everybody! New rule: No outside drinks. No exceptions! Squidward: That's telling them. Mr. Krabs: Grr. I better get to the bottom of this.  Ah! A new store!  On my block! Taking my customers.  Pearl.  Me own flesh and blood. How could you do this to your papa?! Pearl: What are you talking about, Dad? Mr. Krabs: I'm talking about this. Pearl: Once you taste the secret goodness of a KelpShake...  You can't have just one. Mr. Krabs: Let me see that. Pearl: Buy your own. Mr. Krabs: Why I wouldn't give them a cent. Pearl: I feel sorry for you. Mr. Krabs: Then you do understand. Pearl: Dad, you're embarrassing me.  Oh, get away. Mr. Krabs: Oh, no! Confound you, new KelpShake store. What's your secret?  Of course. Plankton, I bet he's behind this. A-ha! I knew you were behind this! Plankton: Pardon me, I've done nothing wrong. Mr. Krabs: Then how do you explain this? Plankton: Holy Moley, how'd that happen? Mr. Krabs: Don't try that with me, Plankton. This new store is ruining me business. Plankton: Really? Wait a minute?! That's my job!  Blast it! It's bad enough I have to compete with this joker. Now there's this?! KelpShakes. Mr. Krabs: Wow. I guess you're really not behind this after all. Plankton, they have... a secret formuler. Plankton: No, not another secret. And if there's a secret, I want to know about it! Mr. Krabs: Oh! Plankton:  They're multiplying. Why, they're on every corner. Mr. Krabs: Block after block. Plankton: They're everywhere. Mr. Krabs:  We've got to do something about this.  You sure this is going to work? Plankton: Just stick to the plan. Mr. Krabs:  Oh, let's see, let's see. Ah, there you are.  Plankton, I think I found the kitchen. Plankton: Let's do this thing! Mr. Krabs: Here goes. Wa-choo!  I'm sorry, I have a bit of a  ah-ah-ah-ah-ah...choo!! Employee: Eww. Plankton:  My eye, my eye, my eye! Mr. Krabs: I think we lost them. Well, you got any more bright ideas? Plankton: Of course I do. Mr. Krabs: All set, Plankton? Plankton: You better believe it. This high-powered mechanical bio-arm I invented should pry those restaurant doors open nice and easy.  What the barnacles? Come on, you piece of garbage.  Ouch! Uncle! Uncle! Mr. Krabs:  If you want anything done right, you've got to do it yourself.  Oh, me back. Plankton:  Krabs, pipe down. You're gonna soil our plans if you wake up the watchdog. Mr. Krabs: Never mind that. What about SpongeBob?","Hi, Mr Krabs. Hi...Plankton? Uh, Mr Krabs, I'm a little confused. Don't you and Plankton hate each other?"
Mr. Krabs: Of course we do.,Then why is he in your fist?
"Mr. Krabs: Uh...we've gone into business together. You see, SpongeBob, we were hired, uh...to fix this door. Plankton: Now we have to fix the roof. Mr. Krabs: That's right. That's right. We have to fix the roof. It's, it's, it's leaking.","Well, good luck with that. See ya."
"Plankton: Keep her going, Krabs. At this rate, we'll have the Kelpshake's recipe faster than you can say... Speaker: You have three seconds before spontaneous combustion. Plankton: Let's beat it! Mr. Krabs: No kidding. Plankton: Wait, you forgotten...  I'm throwing in the towel, Krabs! All these convoluted plans are getting us nowhere. And to top it all off, I'm the only one that's taking the heat! Mr. Krabs: What's that suppose to mean? Plankton: I don't see you on the front lines. Sure, let me do all the work, while you just sit back like the fat gorilla you are!! Mr. Krabs:  Who you are calling a gorilla, you one-cent, one-eyed bottom-feeder!?","Mr. Krabs, if you want a KelpShake, why don't you just buy one?"
"Mr. Krabs:  Buy one?! Customer: I'll have one KelpShake, please. Mr. Krabs: I don't know about this, Plankton. Plankton: It's easy. Just smile and hand the cashier the money. Cashier: Can I help you? Plankton: Good luck. Mr. Krabs: Hi there. Uh, could I get one KelpShake? Cashier: Sure, that'll be one dollar. Mr. Krabs: Uh, okay. Cashier:  Thank you.  Sir, please let go of the bill. Plankton: Release your grip, man. Do it! Cashier: Enjoy. Mr. Krabs: Thanks.  I can't believe we did it. Plankton: Oh, believe it, Krabs. Now let's get to the lab and find out what this stuff is made of.  What's the secret ingredient, Karen? Karen: Well, it appears that the main ingredient is, Kelp Juice. Plankton & Mr. Krabs: Just kelp juice? Mr. Krabs: And to think this whole time I could've been selling these meself! Plankton: You? What about me? If anyone, I deserve to make a buck of selling this stuff. Mr. Krabs:  No way, pipsqueak. This gold mine is mine. Plankton: Not if I can help it.  Ow. Mr. Krabs:  Nice try. Karen: I wouldn't do that if I were you. There's another ingredient. Mr. Krabs: Hey, I paid good money for this thing. Of course I'm gonna drink it.  What the...? I don't get what the big deal is. This tastes like a wet gym sock. Plankton: Really? Let me try that.  Actually, there is a bit of a pungent aftertaste. Mr. Krabs: Hmmm.  Hey, you're right. This ain't half bad.  This is amazing. Plankton: Well, don't be selfish.  Oh yeah. Karen: Oh no. Plankton:  Krabs, we're all out of juice. Mr. Krabs: Well, we gotta get more. Karen: You're making a big mistake. Mr. Krabs: Ah, phooey. You don't know what you're talking about.  KelpShake, KelpShake. Oh how I love a KelpShake.",What's happening to me?  They've shut down the KelpShake restaurants!
"Plankton & Mr. Krabs: Huh? Hazmat #1: It'll take decades to clean this hazardous material up. Hazmat #2: I sure do feel sorry for whoever drank this. Plankton: Look at us! Mr. Krabs: Now what are we going to do? Plankton: I don't know about you,  but I'm going back to what I do best. Stealing your recipe. Mr. Krabs: Hey, wait a minute! Plankton! Plankton:  Come to papa. Mr. Krabs: Hold it right there. You're not going anywhere...  without a ten second head start. Plankton: It's good to be home. Mr. Krabs: You said it. Plankton:  I love being hated. Mr. Krabs: Hey, get back here you little booger! Squidward: Hmm. Squidward: SpongeBob! Where are those patties?","Coming right...down, Squidward."
"Squidward: What are you talking about, SpongeBob? Don't you mean coming right up?",Mmm...
Squidward: I don't see what you're—,"Nice catch, Squidward!"
"Squidward: Thanks... Customer: Whoo! Little Boy: I want my teddy fish! Mr. Krabs: Ha, ha, all right, don't worry, little boy, we'll find it!  This kid lost his toy. SpongeBob, I need you to check the Lost and Found.",Ooh! I didn't know we had a Lost and Found.
"Little Boy: I love my teddy fish! Mr. Krabs: You better find it quick, SpongeBob. The kid's bawlin' is chasing me customers away. Follow me, boy-o! Little Boy:",Is there a ladder?
"Mr. Krabs: Yes. Mr. Krabs: Here's the ladder, boy-o!","Okay, I—"
Mr. Krabs: Nice catch!,Ow!
"Mr. Krabs: Now, try not to get a bit of anything poisonous!",What?
"Mr. Krabs: Oh, nothing, nothing. Good luck!","Oh, this must be the Lost and Found!  It's not in here!"
Mr. Krabs: Try turning on the lights!,"Oh! Whoa! Whoa! Wow! Lost umbrellas! Lost flip flops! Lost keys! Lost remotes! Oh! A whole, entire shelf of lost cool guy shades! Now, that's a sight for more eyes. Oh, no pictures, please. Did you get my good side? What a funny echo. Ha...ha. Hey!  There's bric-a-brac and gee-gaws!  I wonder if there's tchotchkes! Oh! Oh! Tchotchkes! Lost novelty items! Wow!  I love lost novelty items!  Ooh! Excuse me! Oh! Ah!  Oh, thank you, cymbal-clapping sea chimps!  What is this? Looks like Bikini Bottom. Whew!  Whoa!"
"Squidward: Hey, Mr. Krabs, you know that crying kids? Squidward: He's still crying...and it's still annoying! Mr. Krabs: Squidward, I'm glad you're here. I think SpongeBob may be lost in the Lost and Found. Squidward: And this concerns me how, exactly?  Wait—what?! Mr. Krabs: Don't worry. There's a ladder. Mr. Krabs: And find that toy...pronto!",Whoa! Are you the people of the too-small clothes?
"Ginger: No. We were the children, lost in the Krusty Krab over 60 years ago, and we were never claimed.",Did you drop a box on my head?
Ginger: Of course! It's how we say hello.,Oh!  Hello!
Old Kid #1:  Hello.,"Oh, no...looks like I'm lost now too."
Ginger: Don't worry. You are found and can live with us now.,How did you survive down here all this time?
Ginger: People leave all kinds of things behind. Like gum. And mints. They leave lots of mints.,Your breath is delightfully fresh.
"Ginger:  Bring on the welcoming feast! Old Kids: Welcoming feast! Ginger: Dig in! Ginger: Hey, little dolly. You must be getting hungry!","Oh, hey! That's the teddy fish! My boss, Mr. Krabs, told me to grab that. Thank you!"
"Ginger: Grr! This? I found it, so...finders keepers. Old Kids: Finders keepers. Finders keepers. Ginger: Huh?",Yoink! Losers weepers!
Old Kid #2: He is using our sacred words against us! Ginger: That's my teddy fish! Get him!,"Sorry, but this has to go back to its rightful owner!"
"Old Kid #2: Run...like the wind... Squidward: Moron! I mean, SpongeBoooob?! I can't believe Old Man Krabs has held on to all this stuff.  Oooh! Kazoos! Why, I had a kazoo when I was a child... Squidward: Everybody loved it! School Kid: Oh! Ow! My ears! Squidward: These are clarinets! In fact, these are all my clarinets! Wait a minute—these weren't lost! They were all in my locker! Mmm..  Now what could that possibly— Squidward:  Typical. Mr. Krabs: Squidward? SpongeBob? It's the curse of the Lost and Found: no one ever gets found. They just stay lost.  Oh, well, back to work. Little Boy: Waaah! Customer: The ambiance in this place stinks! Mr. Krabs:  Stinky ambiance? Oooh, it's a dark time for the Krusty Krab. Little Boy: Waaaah! Mr. Krabs: Waaaaah!",Oh! Lost toys!
Ginger: Get him!,Lost Toilets?
Ginger: We need more speed!,Lost Pets!
Older Kid #2: Hyah! Hyah! Mush! Mush!,Lost Mine! Lost world!
Squidward: A hatch! Maybe that's the emergency exit!  Grease trap!?,Lost dead ends?!
Ginger: Give us the teddy fish! Old Kids: Teddy fish! Teddy fish!,"No! This teddy fish belongs to a poor, sweet child!  Huh?  Patty grease? Oh, no! I haven't cleaned the grease trap in years!"
"Old Kids: Oh, no. Ginger: Quick! Get on each other's shoulders. Ginger:  At least some of us will survive. Old Kid #1: Aw, come on!",Wait! I have a better idea!
"Mr. Krabs: No SpongeBob, no teddy fish, no customers!  All is lost! Mr. Krabs:  Who is it?",Tylo!
Mr. Krabs: Tylo who?,Tylosaurus!
"Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob! Thank Neptune you're back, son!","Oh, good to be back Mr. Krabs, but I'm not the only one. Look who I found!"
Mr. Krabs: Ack!  Get back! Get back! Ginger's mother: Ginger? Is that you? Ginger: Mom? What are you doing here? Ginger's mother: We come here every week. Ginger: We? Ginger's mother: Yes. Myself and your father and the other parents of kids who were lost here. Where were you? Ginger: In the Lost and Found! Ginger's mother:  There's a Lost and Found? Mr. Krabs: Hm. Maybe I should put up a sign.,"Aww, all the old people are hugging. Dry your tears, little kid. Look! It's teddy fish!"
"Little Boy: I don't want that anymore! Ginger: Huh?  Hmm. Little Boy: I want this!  Whaaa-hoo! Mr. Krabs: Well, I guess we all learned a lesson about being lost and being found today.","What's that, Mr. Krabs?"
Mr. Krabs: I don't know.,"Hey, speaking of lost, where's Squidward?"
"Squidward: What the...?  SpongeBob, do you mind!?","Oh! Hey, Squidward. What are you doing?"
Squidward:  What am I doing!? What are you doing!?,"I am sharpening my trusty spatula. Speaking of which, are you going to stick around for morning fry-cook calisthenics?"
Squidward: Cala-what?,"Walking to work, huh, Squidward?"
Squidward: Go away.,Can I walk with you?
Squidward: No.,Please?
Squidward: No.  I said NO! I will not walk to work with yo--!,"Okay. Maybe tomorrow, then!"
"Customer: I'll have two Krabby Patties. Squidward: Okay. And would you like cheese on-- Customer: Do you...need a break or something? Squidward:  What? Oh, no! Wha--? No-ho, that was not me, I swear.  SpongeBob!  It's empty!  See empty!","Wow, Squidward, how do you know that?"
"Squidward: Well, let's see, maybe 'cause I have a brain.","Oh-uh, Squidward, the grill is on."
"Squidward: Oh, really? And do you think that I don't know that this grill is...","I gotta do something.  Okay, Squidward, this should help.  Don't worry, Squidward, I'll catch you.  I can fix this.  This time, I got ya."
Mr. Krabs: Me soda machine!,"Squidward, can you hear me? How many fingers am I...  Squidward?"
Mr. Krabs: You really sent him over the edge this time.,"Technically, I drove him up the wall."
"Narrator: One shift later... Squidward: Oh, SpongeBob, I got a present for you.",Present? A present? For me?
"Squidward: Now, now. Calm down. I've should've given this to you a long time ago!","Wow, Squidward! My very own... restraining order. Uh...what is that?"
"Squidward: Perhaps my lawyers should explain. Harry: We are the law offices of Harry, Combover, and Bald! Specializing in restraining order logical law and here to tell one Mr. SquarePants... Harry, Combover, & Bald: You've been served!","Served? I don't understand. Squidward, what is these guys-"
"Bald: Per paragraph 3 of the restraining order, you may no longer speak to our client.  Likewise, you may not come within 15 feet of Mr. Squidward at any time. Any infractions of these statues will result in serious jail time!",Can you make Krabby Patties for loyal Krusty Krab patrons during serious jail time?
Bald: Huh? Squidward: And. Bald: No.,No! I don't wanna go!
"Combover: Well, then, follow the guidelines we've explain and you won't have to.","Uh, sirs? If I can't speak to, or get within fifteen feet of Squidward, how are we going to get anything done around here?"
"Harry, Combover, and Bald: That's not our problem.","Hmm... There we go! Three Krabby Patties, two large Kelpy Colas, and three fries ready to be served.  Hmm?  Oops!  Sorry about that, Mr. Krabs! It's just so hard to get this food to Squidward without violating this restraining order."
"Mr. Krabs: Let me see that!  Thank you! Look, boy, I don't know what in coral cabins what a restraining order is, but I do know whatever's going on here clearly ain't working. Now I want this ship sailing smoothly! On the double! Or I'll be forced to remove more gold stars from your employee performance chart!","Think, SpongeBob, think! Gasp! I got it!"
"Patrick:  Hehe. Squidward:  Oh, if I ignore it, maybe it will go away. Patrick:  Hehe. Squidward: I thought not  Oh-kay Patrick. What? What? What! Patrick:  Notice anything...  Different? Huh? Huh? A hint! Mr. Krabs: Patrick! I am not not paying you to stand around and play guess what the idiot's thinking with Squidward! Get back to work! Squidward: Yeah, Patrick! Get back to...what? Work? Oh no! No! No! No! Krabs!  Mr. Krabs! Mr. Krabs: Why all the shivering of the timbers, Mr. Squidward? Squidward: Mr. Krabs! This will not stand! Mr. Krabs: It'll stand. Oh, unless you'd rather talk with SpongeBob. Squidward: What? Patrick: Can I watch you work? Squidward: No. Patrick: Please? . Squidward: No! Patrick: Pretty please? Squidward: No! No! No! No!   Go away Patrick! Go away Patrick! Patrick! Patrick! Patrick!  Patrick!   Patrick!  Patrick!  Patrick!  Patrick! Mr. Krabs: Mr. Squidward... Squidward: Mr. Krabs: Time for your break. Squidward: Ah...don't mind if I do.  Ah...no better way to spend a break then with a little cool jazz.  Huh? Patrick:  Hi Squidward! Squidward: Hello...you... Patrick: I just finished cleaning the restroom! Squidward:  Ooh...that's great... Patrick: I mopped the floors! I shined the mirrors! I scrubbed the sinks. Squidward:  Wonderful. Patrick: Oh yeah!  But we are going to need a new toilet plunger. This one's broken. Squidward: Patrick! Mr. Krabs: Nice work, Patrick! Break time's over, Mr. Squidward. Squidward:   Welcome to the House of Misery. May I take your order... Dave: Yes, I would like two Double Fried Kelp Fritters, three Krusty Krab Cream Filled Corals, and four Triple Fatty Krabby Patties. Is that too much? Squidward: That depends... Dave: On what? Squidward: How long you want to live? Patrick:  Hah hah! Squidward's funny!  Hey, a button! Gus:  Oh, Grammy, I brought your favorite; seaberry pie.  Yikes! Squidward:  Seaberries? I'm allergic to... Seaberries...That's it! I know what I must do!  SpongeBob! Patrick: You're the prettiest button I've ev...  Huh? Monster! Squidward: SpongeBob! Patrick: It's after SpongeBob!  You're right, button! No monster is going to eat our friend! Squidward: No, no no no wait!","Oh no! My two best friends are fighting!  But this restraining order says I can't get close enough to break it off!  I'm sorry, restraining order! But my friends need me!  Stop!"
"Squidward: Alright, right, let's look at this.","Squidward, please don't send me to jail!"
"Patrick:  Squidward?  Did you know the monster was Squidward? Well, when were you going to tell me?",I violated the restraining order! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
Squidward: Quit bellyaching and hand me a pen.,Here you go.
Squidward: Stop the waterworks! You're not going to jail.,I'm not?
Squidward: No! I'm releasing you from this order.,"Really, Squidward?"
"Squidward: ...And adding someone who is much more deserving! Patrick: Sorry, button. Squidward: No, Patrick! You! Patrick: Oh! Ah hah hah hah hah! Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob!","Hey, Patrick."
Patrick: What are you doing?,Carrying this heavy bag of snail food for Gary.
Patrick: How is Gary?,"He's fine. Uh, Pat, can we talk about this some other time? This snail food is really heavy."
"Patrick: Oh, sure, but there was something I wanted to tell you...something important. Oh, I remember. Uh...  Who was I talking to?","Ahoy, Captain, what have we here? It's a tiny form letter. Dear Sir or Ma'am...  We are sorry we missed you. We will attempt to re-deliver your package at our earliest convenience.  Hello?  My package. Whoopee!  Oh, let's see what we got here.  My official Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy paddleball set. Whoo! Yeah!  What's this? Take the Dirty Bubble Challenge! Hit the paddleball 29,998,559,671,349 times in a row. Dirty Bubble, wherever you float, I hereby accept your challenge.  Darn it.  Darn it.  Darn it."
Gary:  Meow.,Darn it.
Gary: Meow.,What was that?
Gary:  Meow.,"Oh, Gary, that distracting sound came from you. I'm sorry, I can't play with you right now. Mermaid Man needs me."
Gary: Meow.,"Gary, please! I'm trying to defeat the Dirty Bubble."
Gary: Meow.,"So, let's get this straight, Gary. You don't want me to defeat the Dirty Bubble. You know, Dirty Bubble—terror of the seven seas, arch nemesis of my favorite TV superheroes, Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy, and apparently renowned paddleball champion.  Well, I for one, recognize the importance of this undertaking. But whether or not you do remains to be seen. Now, if you don't mind, I would like to get back to it.  Pets. Sometimes, I wonder if they understand a word you're saying.  Gary, I hate it when you do that! Now get!  And leave your master to his important affairs.  Hey, I got one! Dirty Bubble, say your prayers."
"Gary: Meow. Patrick:  I haven't seen SpongeBob in a couple days. I'm sure he'll be glad to know I remembered what I wanted to tell him.  That's strange... Usually, I knock on the with this hand.  Hey, SpongeBob, you around? SpongeBob?",Darn it.
"Patrick: SpongeBob, is that you?","Oh, darn it. Darn it."
Patrick: SpongeBob?,Darn it. Darn it.
"Patrick: SpongeBob, what happened?  This picture is crooked. SpongeBob!",Darn it.
Patrick: Snap out of it.,"Patrick, I..."
"Patrick: What is it, buddy? You can tell me.",I took the Dirty Bubble challenge.
Patrick: You what?!,"Why are you crying, Patrick?"
"Patrick: Because... many years ago, I took that challenge.",Really?
Patrick: Uh-huh.,What happened?
Patrick: I won. But then I lost the trophy they sent me.,"You lost the...? That's terrible! Come on, Pat. Let's have some kelp cookies and seahorse milk—that always cheers me up when I've lost something. There you are, Pat. Fresh seahorse milk."
"Patrick: Thanks, buddy.","Hey, Pat, you ever feel like you're forgetting something? Something important?  Hmmm. I think it has something to do with this bowl. Gary's food bowl. That's it—I gotta feed Gary.  That's a lot of dust for a couple of hours.  Gary! Dinner!  Come on, Gary, soup's on.  Gary? Hey, Pat?"
Patrick: Yeah?,How long was I taking the Dirty Bubble challenge?
Patrick: About a week.,A week? Are you sure?
"Patrick: Hmmm... well...  Yeah, it's about a week, maybe ten days.",Ten days? Gary!  Gary? Gary! Gary? Gary! Gary! Gary! Gary! Patrick!
Patrick: Huh?,I can't find Gary.
Gary:  Meow.,This never fails. Gary's favorite treats. Gary can't resist these babies. They're filled with eight types of organic sediment that bottom feeders like Gary can't get enough of.
Patrick: Eight?,"Yeah, something like that. All you really have to do is shake the can. Gary comes running every time. Go on, Pat, try it.  Let me see that.  Hmm, I don't understand, this is a brand-new..."
Patrick: I only tasted six types of sediment.,"Gary? Gary! Gary, where are you? Are you under here?  Gary! Keep shaking, Patrick."
Patrick: Oh.,Gary!
Squidward: What are those Neanderthals up to? Don't they know I'm busy spoiling myself?,"You check over there. I'll check in here.  Find him yet, Pat?"
"Patrick:  No, but I'll keep looking.",But there's nowhere left to look.
Patrick: There's one place we haven't checked.,I doubt Gary could fit in there.
Patrick: Can't hurt to look.,"Here goes nothing.  Look, Pat!"
Patrick: What is it?,"Let's see. Dear SpongeBob, These last few years have been some of the best of my life, but I must move on. Don't bother to come looking for me. By now, I have probably found a new owner who actually remembers to fill up my food bowl every now and again. Sincerely, Gary. At least until my new owner renames me. Dear Neptune, what have I done?"
Patrick: What do you mean? You drove him away. It's right there in black and white. See? Right there and there.,Gary.
"Fred: Are my pants too tight, dear? Snail #1: Look who came to dinner. Snail #3: Guess he didn't like nachos. Gramma: There you are.  There you are, Miss Tuffsy. Oh, gramma finally found you. She was starting to get worried. Now let's get to your home, Miss Tuffsy, and get you something to eat. Hmmm.  You feel much lighter than Gramma remembers.  There you go, Miss Tuffsy. Gramma knows you like your Mr. Heaty set to extra cozy when you're home relaxing. Gary: Mmm. Gramma: Goodness, you're almost out of cookies. Here, I'll go and get some more. Now, don't you go running off again.  There you go.  After this, I'll go make up some of those deviled eggs I promised.  Oh, how about a little music? Gramma's got a killer stereo system.  Oh, this song reminds Gramma of her days as a riveter.  You make Gramma feel so young. Come on, Miss Tuffsy, let's do the boogie-woogie.  Oh.  Okay, oh, that's enough of the boogie-woogie for now.",Gary! Gary? Gary!  Gary!  Gary...!  Oh... Gary!
"Gramma: Gramma knows how much you love these late-night crime drama programs. Don't you, Miss Tuffsy? Oh, heavens, look at the time.  It's time for bed, Miss Tuffsy. Gary:  Meow. Picture of SpongeBob: Quiet, Gary! Can't you see I'm busy? Gramma: Here's your room, Miss Tuffsy. Gary:  Meow? Gramma: Here you are, darling. Let Gramma tuck you in. There you go. Oh,  I almost forgot your good night kiss.  Sweet dreams, Miss Tuffsy. Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob! You're 15 minutes late.","Sorry, Mr. Krabs, I was out all night looking for Gary. You see, he ran away and, well, now I..."
"Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, are you okay? You look kinda...different.","Well, I'm not exactly what you'd call okay, Mr. Krabs. You see, my..."
Mr. Krabs:  Aha! You just forgot to put your hat on.  Knew I'd figure it out.,Gary.
"Evelyn: Yeah, I'd like a refund for this Krabby Patty. Mr. Krabs: Refund?! What's wrong with it? Evelyn: Oh, nothing, really... except that it's covered in tears! Mr. Krabs: What the...?",Gary...
"Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob! There's customers out there, boy, waiting to be fed!",This wouldn't be the first time I disappointed someone who was hungry.
"Mr. Krabs: Okay, boy, why don't you tell Mr. Krabs what's wrong.","Well, you see..."
"Mr. Krabs:  That's enough, boy. See, it's not always what you say that matters. Sometimes, it's what you don't say. Understand?","Yes, Mr. Krabs. I should've told Gary how important he was to me."
"Mr. Krabs: Well, I don't know what that has to do with making Krabby Patties, but I do know this: any problem you have can be solved with a little hard work.","You're right, Mr. Krabs."
Mr. Krabs: That's me boy!,"If I'm going to find Gary, I'm going to need to work harder at it."
Mr. Krabs:  Wh...? Patrick: It's the apocalypse! Office products falling from the sky!,"No, Patrick. We're going to use this stuff to go find Gary."
Patrick: But I thought you drove him away with your neglect and indifference.,"Patrick, now is not the time for talking. We've got work to do."
"Gramma:  There you go, Miss Tuffsy—fresh squeezed. It takes longer to make it that way, but it was a labor of love. Gary: Meow. Gramma: How about a little more syrup on those pancakes?  Here comes the train. Hoo-hoo!  Set phasers on fun, Miss Tuffsy.  Oh, here we are.","Here's a good spot.  Gary! I am sorry! Please come home! Love, SpongeBob. Quick, hand me the tape."
"Patrick: Hey, they're having a sale on scented pine cones.","Patrick, this is no time for that."
"Patrick: Pine cones, pine cones, pine cones. Gramma: These pipe cleaners are simply delightful. Patrick: Old lady, quick. I'm looking for the scented pine cones. It's an emergency! Gramma: Well, I hope you weren't looking to buy them, sonny, because Gramma already picked up all they had. Patrick: Once again, you and I are kept apart, oh sweet scented pine cones. Hey, Gary.",There.
"Patrick: When Patrick comes out, the posters on the door are torn in half] Um...uhh...","Come on, Pat, just take these fliers and hand them out."
"Gramma:  Come on, Miss Tuffsy, there's plenty more fun to be had. ♪Gary, now I know I was wrong, I messed up, and now you're gone. Gary, I'm sorry I neglected you. Oh, I never expected you to run away and leave me feeling this empty. Your meow right now would sound like music to me. Please come home, 'cause I miss you, Gary. Gary, come home. Gary, can't you see I was blind, I'll do anything to change your mind. More than a pet, you're my best friend, too cool to forget, come back 'cause we are family and forgive me for making you wanna roam. And now my heart is beating like the saddest metronome. Somewhere I hope you're reading my latest three-word poem: Gary, come home!♪ Patrick: I want peanuts.","Pat, no!"
"Mable: Who is this 'Lisa' person? Lenny: What? Gramma: Gramma will get a lovely meat loaf in the oven for you. Gary: Meow. Gramma: Don't worry, it's no trouble at all. Easy to do. Gary: Meow. Gramma: Oh, Miss Tuffsy, do you have to go potty? Here, why don't you use this stack of fliers given to me today by a little chubby boy.","Gary, please come back to me! Go, boy, go!"
"Gramma: You stay right there. The meatloaf is almost done.  Oh, dear. The meatloaf is not quite ready yet, but Gramma knows how hungry you are, Miss Tuffsy, so she whipped up a quick batch of cookies. Snails in picture: Run! Gramma: You don't want cookies? Don't fret, I made a batch of deviled eggs, too.  Come back, Miss Tuffsy. You don't want these to go to waste, do you? They were a labor of love.  Oh, don't worry, Miss Tuffsy, Gramma will find you. Snail #3: Hey! You're the guy that doesn't like nachos. Gramma: Miss Tuffsy, I know you're back there, I can't hear your stomach growling. Snail #3: Hey! Gramma: Oh, there you are, Miss Tuffsy. Snail #3: Who? Gramma: You must be starving. Patrick: Just let it out, buddy. That's right.","I can't cry anymore, Patrick. When Gary left, he took all my tears with him."
"Patrick: Did you just say Gary? SpongeBob, I just remembered earlier today at the craft store, I saw... these huge chunks of balsa wood!  They were awesome!","Gary loved balsa wood!  I got to try to forget Gary. For some reason, I can't get him out of my mind.  I blew it, I really blew it. I took you for granted, Gary. I'm sorry! Don't just stare at me, say something! I'm talking to a billboard."
Gary: Meow.,Now I'm hearing things. If only I could see you one more time so I could tell you how much I love you. If only I could hear you meow one last time.
Gary:  Meow.,"Yeah, like that.  Gary, your purring is making it hard to forget you... GARY! Oh, Gary!  So, did you hear any of that, or do I have to repeat myself?"
Gary: Meow.,"Okay, good. I promise, Gary, things are going to be different between you and I. You'll see, pal. Now let's go home and get you something to eat. You must be starving."
"Gary:  Meow. Squidward: SpongeBob, how about more Krabby Patties and less heavy breathing?",Wow! That's the longest I've held my breath: three whole seconds. I'm gonna try for five seconds next.
Squidward: Keep that up and you'll lose consciousness.  Tentacles crossed.,Silly Squidward. I'm not going to--
"Mr. Krabs: What's going on around here? SpongeBob : What's going on? Mr. Krabs: Well, I could be asking you the same thing, boy.","Sorry, Mr. Krabs. I was merely emulating my latest media obsession...  ♪ Kenny the Cat ♪"
Mr. Krabs: Kenny the Cat? What in clams' name is a... the cat?,"He's the greatest undersea athlete to originate from above the wet and briney.  And he's been shattering records all over, holding his breath as he walks the ocean floor. I want to be just like Kenny the Cat.  That's what he does: he walks like that and holds his breath like that. Kenny is a sensationality.  Haven't you noticed my recent lettuce customization?"
Mr. Krabs: No.,And you haven't perused my collection of Kenny the Cat periodicals?  Or noticed Kenny on every TV channel known to fishkind?
"Mr. Krabs: Uh, no.",But what about the Kenny the Cat blimp which hovers over Kenny the Cat Sports Stadium?
Mr. Krabs: Never noticed it.,Huh. You haven't seen him in your wallet?
Mr. Krabs:  Me wallet?! What's he been doing in there?,"Oh, he's on all the new $50 bills."
"Mr. Krabs: Oh, that Kenny the Cat. Well, he's a sensationality.","Yeah! And he's visiting Bikini Bottom tomorrow with hundreds of his rabidly, loyal fans."
"Mr. Krabs: Hundreds, you say?",Maybe even a thousand!
"Mr. Krabs: Say, kiddo, why don't see if you can't get old Kenny and his throng of fans to visit the old Krusty Krab for a while?","I shall do my Krustiest, sir."
"Sandy:  SpongeBob, don't you want your water helmet?","Not necessary, Sandy. Like my personal hero, Kenny the Cat, I'm A-ok."
"Sandy:  Well, if you ain't going to use your helmet, I suggest you make it quick, SpongeBob.","Hey, Sandy, you're kinda like a cat, aren't you?"
Sandy:  Cat?!  In what way am I kind of like a cat?,"Well, aren't cats and squirrels basically the same thing?"
"Sandy: We are both mammals, but that is where the similarities end. Cats are no good scoundrels and I ain't never trusting one of them!","Well, you can trust Kenny the-. He's the heroic cat who has been holding his breath for days at a time."
"Sandy:  I hate to precipitate on your party, SpongeBob, but that is impossible. No air breather could ever do that. Not even me!","Very well, Sandra. If that is your stance, then so be it. Could someone be jealous of Kenny's dazzling lung capacity?"
SpongeBob & Patrick: Kenny the Cat! Kenny the Cat! Kenny the Cat! Nat Peterson: You do know that Kenny won't be here until 10:00.,Uh-huh.
Nat Peterson: Tomorrow morning.,"Uh-huh, yeah. 14 hours is cutting it close but I had to work all day."
Nat Peterson: Hopeless.,"You know, I read in Kenny Fancy Magazine that he's so used to holding his breath that when he's topside, he forgets to breathe."
"Patrick: Wow!  Oh, that'd be like me forgetting to--  Oh! Oh, oh, oh... Oh, there you are, pocket taco.","Patrick, have you ever gazed up into the starry night and see Kenny the Cat's face?"
Patrick: No.,"Find the goober constellation and the dorsal constellation, then squint your eyes and let the details fall into place."
"Patrick:  Uh... Nope, I don't see it. Kenny's really gotten into your head lately.","Yeah, Kenny's awesome. Hey, that reminds me!  Let's paint our faces to look like Kenny!  Perfect!  We're the biggest Kenny the Cat fans ever!"
"Patrick:  This, uh, is getting creepy.","Hey, buddy. Check it out."
"Patrick:  Sweet Neptune! Uh, SpongeBob, uh, I'm going to go now. Your obsession with Kenny is getting weird.",But you didn't even get to see my new Kenny the Cat temporary tattoo!
"Patrick: Oh, that's okay. See you, SpongeBob!","Well, I guess it's plain to see who the true Kenny the Cat fan is.  10:00! Kenny Time!"
"Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, now is the time you've all been waiting for. Kenny the Cat will do his signature walk.",Kenny!
"Harold: Thanks, Kenny!","Kenny, sir, it would mean a lot if you'd sign my official Kenny the Cat spatula.  Thanks, Kenny. You're so real.  Oh, you're hungry? What do you say we move this autograph session to the Krusty Krab?  Did you see that?! Kenny just gave me his trademark A-ok handsign!  Swoon! Swoon!"
"Crowd: Mr. Krabs: One at a time, one at a time, please! Kenny the Cat will have time to meet each and every one of you's.  And I will have time to take each and every one of your dollars.  Look at myself. I'm not being a very good host.  Here you go! Condiments. On the house. Don't tell anybody. Welcome to the Krusty Krab family.","Mr. the Cat? Everything OK?  Say, Mr. Krabs, this is gonna be a long day for Kenny. How about we give him a minute to freshen up?"
"Mr. Krabs: What an excellent idea, SpongeBob! A clean cat is a moneymaking cat, I always say. Please avail yourself of the lounge facilities.","Well, I'd best get back manning the grill."
Kenny:  This gets real uncomfortable after a while.,"Sorry to bother you, Mr. the Cat, but I thought you'd just like a bite to…  Whoa!"
"Kenny:  Good thing I've got this oxygen tank and mask, or otherwise there's no way I'd be able to hold my breath for this long.","How could you, Kenny?! You broke my heart! Here I was this entire time believing your act, only to discover that it was nothing but... an act!"
Kenny: But it's not what you think!,There's no room for thoughts now. Only for tears.
"Kenny: SpongeBob, wait!","I can't believe I fell for such a phony! Oh, well, time to move on. Guess I don't need my Kenny the Cat fan club membership card anymore.  Or these Kenny the Cat posters. Oh, Kenny, how could you? : You were my idol! You know, I should really talk about this with someone, or I might get...  depressed."
"Kenny: SpongeBob, please, let me explain! I'm just a cat with a dream. A dream to give the gift of hope. See, above water, I'm a nobody: just another annoying cat. But down here, I'm someone special: someone who can make people happy. And if making the world a happier place makes me a criminal...  ...then lock me up and throw away the key. Have mercy!","All right, Kenny, all right. I promise I won't tell anyone."
Kenny: Really?,"Yes, really."
"Kenny: All right! Thanks, Bob. You're the best friend I ever had! Now if you'll excuse moi, I've got to sign some autographs. Mr. Krabs: Ah, the cat of the hour is back! Crowd: Mr. Krabs: All right, you ready to sign for these fine dollars—I mean, uh, suckers—I mean, uh, some autographs? Crowd: Mr. Krabs: Well, alrighty then. That's what the consuming public wants to hear. Billy Fishbowl: Sir, I just want to say that you're the biggest inspiration myself and my friends have ever known. Your ability to hold your breath changed our lives... forever.","You're welcome. I've been holding my breath for more than 20 years, no problem.  You can too. Signed, Kenny the Breath-Holding Cat?"
"Sandy: Hiya, Kenny. Mind if I get your signature?  Gee, it sure is nice to meet another air-breathing, warm-blooded varmit down here. Kenny: Mm-hmm. Sandy: Just out of scientific curiosity, how do you hold your breath for so long?","Uh, we needn't burden ourselves with such needless scientific technicalities, Sandy."
"Sandy: I'm just wondering, SpongeBob. I mean, he does defy all scientific logic,  considering the fact that all air breathing mammals need oxygen to the brain and lungs to survive for more than 3 minutes.","Hey, maybe we should show our fine guest a little more hospitality, hmm?"
"Sandy:  What has gotten into you, SpongeBob? Can't I talk about what must surely be happening from a biological standpoint? I mean, like the lack of oxygen will heighten the capillaries in the lungs, causing a dangerous level of carbon monoxide to rise in the bloodstream, which in turn leads to a ghostly blue color to the skin,  followed by eventual unconsciousness. Kenny : I can't take it! I need oxygen! Crowd: Kenny: Sandy: I knew Kenny was a fake! Crowd: Crowd Member: Liar! Mr. Krabs: No! Come back!  Aw, thanks a lot, you air-breathing charlatan! And you can forget about these free condiments too!","Gee, Kenny, I sure am sorry if I ruined your career."
"Kenny:  Aww. It's okay, SpongeBob. Maybe the whole shamble is a big wake-up call to be honest.","Hey, I've got an idea. Most cats hate water, right? Well, you can be the cat that likes water. That way, you're still special."
Kenny: I like it! Sandy: Just get out of here already.  You can never trust a cat. Or is it a dog?,Ooh— Ooh— Yeah! Don't you just love cleaning day?
Squidward:  We're so lucky.,Aww. Mr. Krabs' first dollar.  Whaa?  Huh?
"Mr. Krabs: Don't forget to clean the safe, boys. And keep your eyes on the Krabby Patty secret formula! Squidward: Hey, we need the combination!",I got it covered.
Squidward: Nyah!,Doink!  Mm. Mm-hmm.  Voilà!
Squidward:  Ahh—ooh!,See? This is fun!
Plankton:  Krabs will never see me coming! Presso-inviso!  Ahh! Can't see my own feet.,Mm-hmm. Don't you go anywhere while I clean your homey-womey.
"Squidward: Out of sight... Out of my mind. Plankton:  Hey, watch it!  Hommina—wah? The secret formula! Must be one of Krabs' tricks!  He'll pop out any second now.  Well?  Nothing. All right.  I really did it!  Hey, Karen, guess what?! I finally got the Krabby Patty secret formula! How do you like me now? Karen:  It's genuine. Come here, you big hunk of aquatic organism! Ooh, I knew you could do it! Just don't blow it this time.","Oh! Oh! Ahh!  Hey, Squidward, have you seen the Krabby Patty secret formula?  Ohh!  I put it right here in this circular file cabinet."
"Squidward: That's a trash can, you nitwit!  The formula?!  Face it, SpongeBob!  The formula—",Don't say it!
Squidward: Is gone.,"Oh, I asked you not to say it!  Why would you ever do that?"
"Squidward:  Come on.  Now let's see if the security cameras picked anything up.  Hmm. Patrick:  Hi! I like to order—hmm—half a Krabby Patty, please!  Oh, thank you.",Ah! It's alive!
Squidward: Hold on.  Plankton?!,Ahh!  What are we gonna do?
"Squidward:  Okay. All right. We'll just pretend everything's normal until closing time. Then we'll steal the formula back from Plankton! Yeah! Plankton: Come on! Open up!  Ahh!  Open Sesame?  It's no use, Karen. It won't budge. Karen: Of course not, Einstein, it has a time lock.  It won't open until tomorrow morning. Plankton: Well, I've waited this long.  What's a few more  excruciatingly long  hours?","Night, Mr. Krabs. Sleep tight."
"Squidward:  Don't let the bed urchins bite. Mr. Krabs: Eh, sure. You, too, you two. Squidward: Okay, let's go get that formula.","Ooh, we are gonna pull  a Plankton on Plankton!"
Squidward: Nyah! Whaa?,Sorry.  Stepped on my tail.
Squidward: What are you wearing?,"I'm a cat burglar!  Okay, I'll change. Hang on.  Ooh."
"Squidward: And just how am I supposed to get in?  Ooh! TV Monster: TV Actress: Ahh! Plankton:  Yeah, yeah, now eat her brain!  I love a good romance. SpongeBob and Squidward: Phew. Plankton:  Good night, honey. Squidward: What are you doing?","Making sure he's asleep. Yeesh!  Squidward! Aww, it's Plankton's little pet, Spot. He wants to play!"
Squidward:  Will you get him off of me?!,"Hmm. Ahh!  Get the stick, boy!  Fetch!"
Squidward: Look out! Karen: Diodes...zebras...Make a new batch of chum...,It's okay. She's in sleep mode.
"Karen: Oh, dear, the chum is escaping. Squidward: This must be it. Electric eye: Remain still for retina scan. Squidward: Now what'll we do?",Good thing I brought this!  They really captured the cute little dimple on his chin.
Squidward: Looks like they captured the rest of him too!,Oh!
Squidward: I'll take it from here.,I'm fine.
Squidward: You go first this time.,Hmm-mmph. You okay?
Squidward: No! Squidward: Ow.,I'm standing still! I'm not even doing anything! Heh...sorry. Ahh.  I can't believe that actually worked!
"Mr. Krabs: Good morning, Krusty crew! Ready to cook up a new batch of Krabby Patties? Er... Why are you two smoldering?","We're sorry, Mr. Krabs!"
"Squidward:  No, he's delirious! He doesn't know what he's saying.","No! Mr. Krabs deserves the truth. We accidentally threw away the Krabby Patty formula and Plankton found it! We tried to steal it back, but we failed!"
"Mr. Krabs:  You did what!?!?!? Plankton stole me formula?! Squidward:  That's what he said. Yeah. Mr. Krabs:  Then I'll just have to steal it back.  Hmm. Uh-huh.  Oh.  Don't worry. Papa's here. Plankton: Oh, yeah!  Who's the man? You are! Eh, man. Plankton: No, no, no! Krabs!","I'm sure glad the formula is back in the safe where it belongs, Mr. Krabs."
"Mr. Krabs:  Me, too, boy-o. And to make sure you two don't ever take your eyes off it again, I have a surprise for you.  You're me new security system.",Yay!
Squidward: Wait! I'm claustrophobic!,"Gotta hurry, Gary!  The sooner I get to bed, the sooner I'll get to sleep, and the sooner I get to sleep, the sooner I'll wake up, and the sooner I wake up, ooh ho-ho!  The sooner I get to go to work at the best job in the whole wide world: The Krusty Krab!  Now, to just put on these sleepy time blinders, before I run excitedly to bed.  Well, good night, Gary."
Gary: Meow.,"I'm just going to turn out the lights.  Clickety poo! And close my eyes and go to sleep.  Just close my eyes and go to sleep.  ...just close my...  Maybe if I run around it'll tire me out.  Oh, I just got to get some sleep! There's only one thing for this.  Ah, that's the stuff. A glass of warm snail milk.  Dah! Why isn't it working--  Whoa, Gary, what happened?  Agh, I'm late for work!  Oh, my gosh, only twenty seconds to go! What the...?  Bridge out?  Hopscotch!  Almost there.  No! I'm late. What's Mr. Krabs going to say?  TardyPants! You, sir, are a TardyPants! Wait 'till Mr. Krabs finds out. You better think of something to save your job."
Squidward: One Krabby Patty and Krabby Fries for table number four.,"Order up!  Here you go, sir. One Krabby Patty, Krabby Fries, and Krabby Drink in three seconds flat."
Squidward: Spill at table...,"I'm on it!  Nothing a dedicated, on-time employee can't handle.  Kiddies get a free touch-up.  All done!"
"Mr. Krabs:  Hey, SpongeBob.",No! Please don't throw me out in the street! I am so sorry for what I did.
Mr. Krabs: What'd you do?,I was a minute late for work!
Mr. Krabs: A minute late?,A whole 60 seconds.
"Mr. Krabs: Well, uh, don't do it again.",No! No! You have to punish me!
"Mr. Krabs: Well, you can clean the salad bar.",Aye aye sir.
Mr. Krabs: And good night.,"I love it here, Mr. Krabs."
"Mr. Krabs: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sheesh. Squidward: If you love it so much, why don't you just live here?","Somethin's not right. What is it? Do I miss my old clock?  Maybe it's my old bed.  Oh, that's it.  I'll make the Krusty Krab just like home. What do you say Gary?"
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob? What in Neptune's Navy is going on here?,"SpongeBob reporting for duty, sir."
Mr. Krabs: How long you been here?,"All night, sir."
Mr. Krabs: All night?,"That's right, I'm going to live here from now on, so I'll never ever be tardy pants again."
"Mr. Krabs: Hold on! This ain't no hotel, son.",Here's my first month's rent.
"Mr. Krabs: Rent? Okay. Well, let's get ready for the customers. Start scrubbing the grill...","Already done, sir."
"Mr. Krabs: Well, start cooking some Krabby Patties...","Done.  All that, before we even open up our doors, sir."
Mr. Krabs: Okay. Then get cleaned up. You're a mess.,"Eww, I guess I could use some freshening up."
Squidward: Jammed again.,"Ooh. Hi, Squidward."
Squidward: SpongeBob? What are you doing here?,"Oh, I live here now."
Squidward: In the dishwasher?,"No, at the Krusty Krab. Now, if you'll excuse me."
"Squidward: SpongeBob living at the Krusty Krab? Wait a minute, if he's living here, that means he won't be living next to me. Mr. Krabs: Must be a full moon.  Mr. Squidward? Squidward: Just saying goodnight to SpongeBob, Mr. Krabs. Sweet dreams, SpongeBob. You look much more comfier in here than in your old home next to me!.","Won't you miss me living next door, Squidward?"
"Squidward:  No. Coming Eugene.  Good night's sleep, here I come.  And when I went home at night, guess what? Frankie: He wasn't there? Squidward: Right! And when I woke up in the morning... Frankie: Can I just get my change? Squidward:  He still wasn't there. Frankie: Come on, man, my change. Squidward:  Here you go. Frankie: Yeah, thanks...  Oh, real funny, buddy. Two socks and a pair of tighty whities. Squidward: Socks and--  What the...? SpongeBob, why is your underwear in the cash register?","Well, I had to put them somewhere and my underwear drawer is all filled up with Krabby Patties and the freezer is filled up with my iced snowflake collection.  So I put the cash from the cash register in the pickle jar."
"Squidward: What? Mr. Krabs:  Oh, lighten up, Squidward. 'Tis harmless tomfoolery.",Do you want to know where the mustard is?
"Squidward: Ah! Eww.  Well, he may be twice as annoying at work, but it still beats having him as a neighbor.","Laundry song, la-la-la! Sing about your laundry all day long. La-la-la-la laundry song."
"Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, you can't be hanging your delicates in me customer's faces.","Well, they don't see to mind."
Mr. Krabs: Oh! I have a disgusting clientele. Who spend their money freely.,"Aye aye, captain."
Mr. Krabs: Because I'd hate for a certain living arrangement—meaning yours—to interfere with said money spending.  What the barnacles?  SpongeBob! Why is your bed in me office?,It was getting kind of crowded in the kitchen.  So I moved in here.
"Mr. Krabs: You can't stay in here. These are my private quarters, boy. The only play I can escape for solitude during the day.","But I'll only be here at night. Please, Mr. Krabs, I won't get in your way. Please!"
"Mr. Krabs: Oh... Okay, but I'll have to raise your rent.","Oh, thank you, Mr...  My parents!"
Mr. Krabs: Your parents?,"Mom! Dad! Come on in.  And this is the guest room. Mom, Dad, Mr. Krabs."
"Margaret SquarePants: Oh, hello.","Well, I'll let you two get settled."
Jimmy: Is this your snail?,Gary! Bad boy! No!
"Jimmy: Put that thing on a leash. Mr. Krabs:  Squidward, who put these fancy-smelling soaps in the restroom? Squidward: The same person who knitted these napkin holders and embroidered the menu. Mr. Krabs:  Argh.  That boy's taking the manliness out of me restaurant. Oh, he didn't. Floral print curtains in me office? That's it. That's the last straw! I'm not putting up with this any longer. Margaret SquarePants: Oh! Mr. Krabs: Oh, oh, I...I'm sorry. I didn't know... Harold SquarePants:  What's going on in here?! Mr. Krabs: No, I...  What the...? Patrick:  Thanks, SpongeBob.  If I could reach it, I'd do it myself. Mr. Krabs: Me customers!  Gone! Gone! Gone! All they wanted... was to give me...their money!  SpongeBob! Pack your bags, boy. You're moving out. Squidward: What the...? SpongeBob, what are you doing here?","Oh, Mr. Krabs kicked me out, so now we're neighbors again. Hey, my drums!"
"Squidward: Noooo! Mr. Krabs: Squidward! Mr. Krabs: Hmm... I just don't get it. If a free salad bar doesn't bring in customers, what will?!  Squidward! Squidward: Uh-uh... Yes, sir? Mr. Krabs: There's gonna be some changes around here.  A customer! Welcome to the Krusty Krab!  SpongeBob, cater to his every whim. And don't screw this one up.","Aye aye sir! Welcome aboard, sir! Here at the Krusty Krab, you are the captain, and I am your cabin boy. You just say the word and I will throw myself in the brig! May I take your order?"
Francis: All I wanted was change for the payphone.,"Aye-aye, sir!  Monsieur's change."
"Francis: Thanks.  Here you go. Mr. Krabs: Yeah!  Now as you may have noticed, profits are way down this month.  We've got to think of a gimmick to bring in customers.  Do you lubbers have any ideas?","I've got one!  A free pair of socks with every purchase! Or maybe 'Double Patty Midnight Madness'! Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! I know! I know! I know! How about 'mouth full of clams' day! Everyone who shows up with a mouthful of clams...  ...gets a free drink! Huh? Huh?"
"Mr. Krabs: Well, uhh, I was thinking more along the lines of live entertainment. Squidward: That's it, a floor show! Wait, a talent show! With your host, me!  This is the moment I've...  I mean, we've been dreaming of. Think of it, Mr. Krabs, you will be responsible for bringing culture to this cultural wasteland we call Bikini Bottom! And not to mention, the money. Mr. Krabs: The money? Squidward: And I can see it now... your daughter Pearl, her name up in lights. Mr. Krabs:  Little Pearly... a star?",Hoppin' clams! A talent show! I'm talented! I'd better call my folks!
"Mr. Krabs: Squidward, you've got a deal. Make my little girl a star!","Hey Squidward, what time am I going on?"
Squidward: Going on what?,The show! When am I going on the show? I have a great act!
Squidward: What talent could you possibly possess?,Ta-da!
"Squidward: No one, not even your parents, would want to see that.  What the people want is culture, not dancing bubbles.","Ok, I get it. Don't worry, Squidward, I'm going to come up with the most cultured act ever!"
Squidward: I can hardly wait.  Phew. The only culture that guy has is in his tennis shoes.  Tennis shoes. I crack myself up. Lisa:  We are now at the Krusty Krab Talent Show featuring the finest talent in the town...,Wow! A full house!  There's Mom and Dad! They are gonna be so proud!
"Mr Krabs: Hello, I'm Mr. Krabs, and I like money.",I gotta get ready!
"Squidward: Alright, people, listen up. Gather around everyone, chop, chop.  Now, you may be thinking this is your one shot at the big time. Well, it's not. It's mine.","Hey, Squid! How about this for the show?  The Amazing Mister Absorbency!  Ta-da!  Ta-da!"
Squidward: No one is going to watch you engorge yourself.,"Please, Squidward, let me be in the show! I'll do anything! Anything! Anything!"
Squidward: So you really want to be in the show?,"Oh, yes!"
"Squidward: Okay, you get to mop up afterwards.  Now will you stop bugging me?","So, this is what it feels like... the big time! With this mop, I shape my destiny!"
"Squidward: Good evening and welcome to the 1st annual Squidward Tentacles Talent Show. Sponsored by the Krusty Krab, home of the Krabby Patty, because no one else would give it a home.  Thank you. Our next act is living proof that nepotism is alive and well.  Put your fins together for...  Put your...  Put...  Pearl. Mr. Krabs: Hooray! My little girl is finally a star. Pearl: Give me a K-R-U!  Give me a S-T-Y!  Krusty Krab!  Krusty Krab!  Krusty Krab! Mr. Krabs:  That's what I call talent! Pearl: Thank you! Fred: My leg! Ugh! Pearl: Thank you, thank you! Squidward:","Hey Squidward, listen. What do you think? When I mop, should I go forward and back? No, no wait, side to side."
"Squidward: And now, poetry.  By Gary. Gary:  Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow. Sandy: He has such a way with words. Squidward:  Come on, come on, Ginsburg, if he doesn't hurry it up, we're not going to have time for the best act... me!","Squidward, should I use Mr. Cleanser or Dr. Clean?"
"Squidward: Yes. Plankton: I, the amazing Plankton, with the use of prestidigitation...  ...will make a Krabby Patty disappear before your very eyes.  First, I'll need a volunteer from the audience. Mr. Krabs: Nice try. Your act's over, bub. Plankton: You may win this time. She-hah-kazing!  Well, this stinks. Mr. Krabs: Squidward!  This show is a disaster! You're ruining me! Squidward: Now, now, don't you worry, Mr. Krabs. I've saved the best for last, you'll see. Mr. Krabs: For your sake, I hope you're right. Squidward: And now, ladies and gentlemen, the moment you've all been waiting for. We've saved the best for last. Put your hands together for the incomparable Squidward! Fish: What the?! Mr Krabs: I'm losing money on this deal! Fred: It's worth every penny. Squidward: You bottom feeders! You don't even know talent! Crowd: No talent! No talent! No talent!","Hey, Squidward, can I go on now?"
"Squidward: Yeah, show's over! Crowd: Hey, yeah. That's really not bad. I like that. Alright!  We want more! We want more! We want more! We want— Squidward: They want an encore!  Stand aside, SpongeBob! Mr. Krabs: You did it, Squidward! What a great show! Mrs. SquarePants: Oh, my son's a star! Mr. SquarePants: Who ever knew he had such talent. Mr. Krabs: I'll be needing another wheelbarrow for next week's show! Mr. Krabs: Well, good night, folks. Come again.  Thought those deadbeats would never leave. Closin' time, SpongeBob.","There ya go, little buddy. Now everybody's all clean and ready for beddy-bye."
"Mr. Krabs:  Time to pack it in, Sponge- Bah! Wha?!","All ready, Mr. Krabs.  Just gotta clock out and..."
"Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, what's the meaning of this?","Spot, spot, spot!"
"Mr. Krabs: That's right, a spot. You know the rule. Nobody leaves work till...","...till everything's ship-shape, sir. Don't worry, Mr. Krabs, I'll get this plate cleaned up in a jiffy."
"Mr. Krabs: Oh, and, uh, lock up when you're done.","Lock up? Wait, Mr. Krabs. Don't you remember what happened last time you left me here alone?"
"Mr. Krabs: Should've never left you alone with a lit blow torch and me roller skates. But, since I've removed all the welding equipment from the premises, there's no-ho-ho chance of that happenin' again, right? Now, get to work.","Aye-aye, sir. La-la-la-la-la-la-la.  You're a tough little guy, aren't ya?  This means war. Wait here, please.  Say good-night, dried on filth. Ready. Aim. Fire! That is the last straw! I want you to remember...  you made me do this. I got to finish this. I'm afraid this is the last time we'll be meeting like this, my friend. Allow me to introduce you to... the SpotMaster 6000.  Notice, the microwave-powered laser particle beam. Notice, the laser-guided high pressure water cannon. And notice, the little surprise I installed just for you. A specially woven metal alloy ingeniously combined with state of the art cleansing materials.  I call it...  ...Steel Wool! And it comes with...  ...a laser! Any last words?  Mmm... I thought not.  Power up! Water cannon... on!  No effect. Steel wool laser... on!"
"Mr. Krabs: Hmmm... strange vortex in the west. Well, it's probably got nothing to do with SpongeBob.","OK, you asked for it. It may end life as we know it, but I am crossing the beams!  More power!"
"Mr. Krabs: Spontaneous molecular distortion, hmm? I guess I better go see what the lad's up to.",More power!
"Mr. Krabs:  Oh, boy, that can't be good.",More power!
Mr. Krabs: Let's see what he's done this time.,Maximum power! Ahhhhh!
"Mr. Krabs: Oh, this time you've done it, boy. What've you got to say for yourself?","The platter's all clean, Mr. Krabs."
"Mr. Krabs: Oh, I'll clean your platter!  Come here, you!","Good...morning, Gary!"
Gary: Meow.,"Say, Gary, do you ever wonder what Patrick's mornings are like?"
"Patrick:  Huh? What? Huh? No!  What's making that noise? Hu-huh?  Oh.  It's you again.  Okay, joke's over.  Alright, you got me. Now cut it out.  That's it!  Stop your ringing, mister! I'm warning you. Stop it! I said quit it!  Where's it coming from? Make it stop.  You've got to help me find out where that ringing is coming from.  Hey, come back! Oh, fine. I'll ask someone who cares.  SpongeBob, where's that ringing coming from?  Breakfast!  Come to Patrick!  Tartar sauce. I'm out of food again. All I have is these lousy cans with pictures of food on them. I wanted real food not pictures!  Oh. The food is in the can. Okay, come on out. Come on. Oh, yeah.  Okay, breakfast, get on the plate. Come on. Nice, comfy plate just for you. Come on, get on there. Hello? Anybody in there?  No answer. I'm coming to rescue you.  Having a little trouble reaching you.  You stupid cans.  Oh. Food. Ah, my favorite time of the day. Breakfast and a little morning television. Announcer: And now, live from Bikini Bottom, it's Bikini Bottom Live. Patrick: Oh my gosh.  I'm late, I'm late, I'm late!  I gotta put on my pants and brush my teeth!  Gary?  Pants  A clean mouth is a happy mouth.  Done.","Hey, Patrick, how was your morning?"
"Patrick: Oh, you know, usual.","Ooh, take a look a this, Gare Bear. Found a slime ball in your shoe? Even purebred snails call fall victim to the scourge of slime balls. You really got some air on that one."
Gary: Meow.,"I know that meow. That says, I'm hungry.  Lucky for you, I speak fluent snail."
Gary:  Meow!,"What, you're not hungry?"
Gary:  Meow-meow!,"Oh, of course.  You wanna go for a walk?  Gary, you really need to work on your pronunciation. Okay, no walkies. Oh, if only you could talk like a real person.  Huh? Ooh!  The chatterbox translation collar? Know what your best friend is saying! A snail translator! That's a great idea, Gary."
Chatterbox salesperson:  Chatterbox order line.,"Hello, yes, could you please send me one chatterbox snail collar?"
"Chatterbox salesperson: Do you want regular, express, or our fastest delivery option time warp?","Ooh, time warp, please!"
"Chatterbox salesperson: Very well, your package was delivered last Thursday.","Oh, I wonder where this came from. Oh, here we go.  Okay, Gary, speak to me."
"Gary's collar:  Check, check.  One, two. Ah, that's more like it. Hello, there, Papa Bob.","Papa Bob. Oh! Oh, Gary, now you can express you innermost thoughts in language I can understand.  I have so many questions."
"Gary's collar:  Lay 'em on me, Papa Bob.",What do you dream about?
"Gary's collar:  Mostly, I dream of flying above it all...","Aww, that's sweet."
Gary's collar: While I breathe fiery destruction upon my enemies.,"Hey, if you're gonna dream, dream big, right?  Let's move on to question two, shall we? What are your long-term goals?"
Gary's collar:  To finish restoring my hotrod.,"Yeah, you need to get on that. But what I really want to know is,  how do I look in these pants?"
Gary's collar:  They really bring out the sharp corners of your buttocks.,"Oh, Gary, you flatterer. Come on, Gare, let's show Patrick your new voice.  Oh, Patrick, I have got a surprise for you!  Say hello to Gary."
"Patrick:  Hello, Gary. Gary's collar:  Hello, stinky man. Patrick: Hmm? Hmm.  Phew! Ooh, you're right, Gary, I am ripe!  Ah, much better. Gary's collar:  Delightfully disgusting. Patrick: Thank you, my good man. Sandy: Thanks for the old tooth scrubbing! Bye!",Sandy! Gary has a new translating collar.
"Gary's collar:  Hello, hairy astronaut lady. Sandy: How do you do, little fella? Gary's collar:  You know, same shell, different day.",Isn't it amazing?
"Sandy: Aww, that ain't nothing. I invented a nut translator ages ago. Walnut:  The pistachios are all out to get me. You can't trust 'em. They're working for the peanut mafia! Sandy:  Walnuts are extra nutty. Squidward: Om. Master Marty:  In order to achieve complete brainfulness, one must clear one's mind of all distractions. Master Marty:  Distractions are only in your mind. Master Marty:  You are the center of the universe. Squidward: Center of the universe. Master Marty:  Will you answer the door already?!","I think your doorbell's broken, Squidward."
Squidward: What do you want?,I thought you might want to chat with your neighbor.
Squidward: Why would I want to talk to you?,"Oh, not to me.  To Gary."
"Squidward: Oh, good grief. SpongeBob, Gary can't talk. He's a snail! Gary's collar:  Greetings and salutations, grouchy man. Squidward: Wha-ha?",I bought Gary the new pet translator collar.
Squidward: Why would you want to talk to him?,Who wouldn't want to talk to their pet?
Squidward: I was talking to Gary. Gary's collar:  Oh. Those walls! That carpet.,Turns out Gary has a very sophisticated sense of design.
"Squidward: Really?  Well, maybe I'll give him a guided tour.","Hey, wait up!"
"Squidward: And up here, you'll find my true masterworks. Hidden away from the eyes of the undeserving public. Gary's collar:  Ah, the naïve cephalopod style. Not very sophisticated. Squidward: Huh?  See here. Gary's collar:  Ugh! Tacky. Squidward: Hold on now!","Don't worry, Squidward, I'm taking notes for you."
"Master Marty:  Fell the plainfulness flow through you. Gary's collar:  You watch this nonsense? Squidward: What? What's wrong with it? Gary's collar:  Nothing, I'm sure. Apparently, no brain required. Come, Papa Bob. Let's get out of here before this bad taste rubs off on us. Squidward:  Oh, gee, do you have to?","Don't be sad, Squidward, we'll be back soon."
"Master Marty:  Until next time, remember to free yourself from all distraction. Squidward:  Oh, I will.","Night, Gare Bear."
"Gary's collar:  Good night, Papa Bob. Squidward: Good night.  Now, let's see if SpongeBob still wants you to talk after tonight. Squidward:  Stupid rake!  Oh, Papa Bob.  No, no, no.  Oh, Papa Bob.  I'm thirsty.","At this hour? All right, I'll get you some water.  Here you go, buddy, one water."
Squidward:  I want to go to the park.,"Huh? Oh, sure. No problem, Gary. Well, that was fun."
Squidward:  My bed is too lumpy.,"All right, then.  Here, Gary, take my bed, hmm?"
"Squidward:  Papa Bob, it's hot in here. Squidward:  Still too stuffy.","Still too—  How's that, Gary?"
Squidward:  The view is so much nicer a block away.,"Okay, okay. This should get things rolling."
Squidward:  Keep going. Just a little more.  Perfect.,"You're right, Gary. The view is nicer over here. Gary?  Gary! Whoa!  Oh-whoa-oh! Look out! Look out! Whew! Aww, that was close, huh, Gary?  Oops. Aww, now where are we gonna sleep?"
"Squidward:  You could always live in a hole, like that idiot sea star. Gary: Meow?","My house! Oh, Squidward, we're neighbors again."
Squidward:  Get off of— Gary:  Meow.,"Uh, I didn't catch that, Squidward, what'd you say?"
"Squidward: I said, Get off of— Gary:  Meow. Nat Peterson: Hey! Nat Peterson: Hey! Come back with my worm!","Aww, looks like Squidward wants a pet of his own to talk to."
Gary:  Meow.,"♪Mop, mop, mop, mop, mopping, mopping, mopping, mopping, mopping mopping!♪"
Squidward: SpongeBob!  Why don't you mop your way over the kitchen.  We need another Krabby Patty.,Sure thing.
Mr. Krabs: What's that?,Perfection.
Mr. Krabs: I don't think so.  You used too much mustard!,"But, Mr. Krabs, I..."
"Mr. Krabs: You obviously you didn't use your hydraulic mustard gauge.  You think mustard grows from seeds?  Oh, at this rate, I'll be broke in  411 years!",Really?
"Mr. Krabs: Your skills are rusty, you're not your usual sharp self! Did you have breakfast this morning?","Yes, I had a cup of sea kelp and a Neptune muffin."
"Mr. Krabs: Hmm... well, what about sleep, young man? Did you get enough sleep?",I did go to bed 2 minutes later than usual.
Mr. Krabs:  That's it!  You're an insomniac!,An insomni-wha?
"Mr. Krabs: You're a person who can't sleep and if you can't get enough sleep, your mind starts to go!  Here.  Come on, now, cook!  Ha! Ha ha! I knew it! You lifted a patty from one side, instead of straight up! What are you trying to do, sabotage me?!  Now you go home and get some rest!","Oh, but, sir, I can't miss work at the Krusty Krab."
"Mr. Krabs: Miss work? If you keep making mistakes like that, boyo, there will be no Krusty Krab!",No Krusty Krab?
"Mr. Krabs: That's right!  Now, get!","Yes, sir."
Mr. Krabs: Come back first thing tomorrow after a good night's sleep!,"I just don't get it, Gary. I don't usually have a problem sleeping, do I?"
Gary:,"Well, I am not going to allow a mistake like today's to happen again. I am going straight to bed! This pillow is hard as a rock! What to do?"
Gary: Meow meow meow meow.,"You're right, Gary! Warm milk puts me right to sleep.  Now, that should do the trick! Boy, it sure is quiet around here. Only 5 hours until I go to work. C'mon SpongeBob, you can do this. 4 hours 59 minutes 50 seconds, 4 hours 59 minutes 45 seconds, 4 hours 59 minutes 41 seconds!  What if I don't get to sleep at all?  Ohhh, Mr. Krabs was right!  I am an insomniac. What am I gonna do? (speaking) I need some help.  Patrick, Patrick, wake up."
"Patrick: Uh-huh.  Mmmm, sponge cake.","Oh, yuck! Never mind that, Patrick! I need your help, desperately! I'm a insomniac! I need to sleep!"
"Patrick: Say no more, buddy. I know just the thing!  Get comfy!","Oh, boy! A bedtime story!"
"Patrick: Okay. Once upon a time, there was a sleepy little boy.","Ah, yay!"
Patrick: The sleepy boy was the sleepiest boy in all the kingdom!,"Mm, sounds like me."
"Patrick: One night, he nestled into bed for a long slumber.",Slumber!
"Patrick: And Sir Cecil, the sea sleep king, sprinkled him with mystical sleepy dust.","Aw, thank you, Sir Cecil."
"Patrick: He couldn't have been cozier. When, without warning,  an excitable sea troll burst through the window. Wakey-wakey, sleepy-doo!, he bellowed. Then suddenly he was whisked away by eagle-winged mollusks into the night sky!","Patrick, what are you doing? And what kind of a bedtime story was that, anyway?"
"Patrick: It's called The Land of Perpetual Excitement. You know, it's a get out of bed story!","Patrick, I'm trying to go to sleep."
"Patrick: Oh.  Right. Oh, I know! I'll sing you a lullaby from my childhood! Get up, be active, Get up, be active, Get up, be active, Get up, be active! Get up, be active! Get up, be active! Get up, don't lie down! Get up, don't lie down! Get up, don't lie down!","Um, Patrick, that's..."
"Patrick: Get up, don't lie down! Get up, don't lie down! Get up, be active! Get up, be active!","Patrick, this isn't..."
"Patrick: Get up, be active! Get up, be active! Get up, don't lie down! Get up, don't lie down!",That's a catchy bit...
"Patrick: Get up, don't lie down! Get up, don't lie down!","That's an excellent number, but..."
"Patrick: Get up, don't lie down! Get up, don't lie down! Get up, don't lie down! Get up, don't lie down!",Patrick! This isn't helping either!
"Patrick: Well, what-what abou- well, I don't know what you want from me. It's not like I have a magic wand to wave.  Or do I?","Oh, barnacles."
Patrick: Hocus pocus!,"Patrick, get serious, please!"
Patrick: Abra zeptabra!,"I really appreciate your efforts, but I gotta try something else, buddy. 'Kay?"
"Patrick: SpongeBob, I see you're serious about this now. I didn't want to do this, but I'm gonna let you in on a little family secret. Old grandma suffered from severe toe barnacles.",Blech!
Patrick: And she invented the secret elixir for just such an emergency. Drink up.,"Okay... Patrick, How is this gonna-"
Patrick: Drink it!,"Hey, that wasn't too bad. What was it?"
Patrick: Coffee.,"C-C-C-C-C-Coffee? Oh, for the last time, Patrick, I'm trying to go to sleep!"
Patrick: Oops.,"Uh-oh.. feeling jittery, heart p-p-pounding, teeth grinding...  Uh-oh.  N-no! No, stop! We gotta get to sleep. Well, I guess I'll just have to let my legs tire out and catch up with my weary brain."
"Sea troll: Wakey-wakey, sleepy-doo!",Ahh! Sea troll! Huh? Just a shrub. Keep going till you crash SpongeBob.
"Warm milk: SpongeBob, why did you drink me?","I'm sorry, Mr. Warm Milk, you just tasted so good.  Shoo! That billboard is definitely not talking to you."
"Warm Milk: Why, SpongeBob, why? Mustard Krabs: Stop wasting all me mustard, boyo! Mustard Krabs: Me profits! Me profits! Squidwards: Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! Mr. Krabs is going to be upset! Ha, ha, ha, ha! Patrick: Sponge cake!","What's this? Another vision?  Oh, why, why? Please, please, please let me sleep for just 5 minutes!"
"Sir Cecil: Do not despair, my child.","Sir Cecil, the sea sleep king?"
Sir Cecil: Just close your eyes and slumber. With some magic dust!,"Hm... it's getting all sleepish around here.  Oh, thank you Sir Cecil. Hmm? Hey, looks like I finally got some shut-eye. Now to prepare for work.  Perfect.  Bye, Gary."
Mr. Krabs: Boyo...?,Hm?
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob!,Huh? Y-Yes... SpongeBob reporting for sleepy and tired.
"Mr. Krabs: Ew! You're stinking like a swabby short pants after a clam dig! You sure you didn't forget something, boy?","Forget..? Oh, right, right, Mr. Krabs. How could I be so forgetful?"
"Mr. Krabs: Heh, that's my boy.  What the barnacles?!","Employees must wash their hands before cooking.  Oh, that's nice..."
"Mr. Krabs: That ain't the sink, kiddo!","I know, I know, I just need a quiet place... to nap."
"Mr. Krabs: Me mustard!  You didn't heed my words, did ya? You couldn't be bothered to get some shut eye, could ya?","I'm sorry, Mr. Krabs! I tried, I really tried! But my insomnia got the best of me!"
"Mr. Krabs: Now he's crying away me mustard. That's enough boy! Me profits!  Huh? Your crying the perfect amount! Hold it boyo, you're a natural born mustard dispenser!",Is that a good thing?
"Mr. Krabs: Dow, uh, nuh, Oh no, no boy. It's- It's terrible. Mr. Krabs: Just terrible! Squidward:  Best day at work ever! Patrick: Thanks for having lunch with me, SpongeBob.",Anything for my bestest buddy. There's no better way I could've spent my lunch break.  Ahh.
Patrick: That's a pretty cool face.  Check you this one out.,I love it. What do you think of this? Awoo!
"Patrick: Oh, hey, how about this?",That's awesome!
Mr. Krabs:  Ooh. I know that sound. It's the sound of me money being flushed down the toilet!  SpongeBob! Why aren't you manning the fryer?,"Sorry, sir. I got carried away. Patrick and I were making faces at each other."
Patrick: Funny faces make me laugh! Mr. Krabs: What?! Are you out of your liquid-absorbing mind?,"Why, is there something wrong?"
"Mr. Krabs: Haven't ye ever heard the saying If you don't stop making that face, it'll freeze that way? SpongeBob and Patrick: Uh, no! Mr. Krabs: Let me tell you the story of face freeze.  It were a cold day, in November, and in Bikini Bottom lived a man who loved to make faces. And the one he liked best was to stick his tongue out.  But what he really liked, was sticking his tongue at people. Norma Rechid: How rude! Mr. Krabs: Until one day, when he stuck his tongue out for the 444th time,  his face froze with his tongue sticking out... Fred: Huh, huh... Huh? Mr. Krabs: ...permanently! Mable: Weirdo. Fred:  No... no! Mr. Krabs: He couldn't open his mouth for months. Until one day, his tongue dried up and fell off! SpongeBob and Patrick: Oh, no! Mr. Krabs: So are you gonna keep making faces, boys? SpongeBob and Patrick: Mm-mm. Mr. Krabs: Good. I hope you've learned your lesson.",I'm glad Mr. Krabs caught us before it was too late. Let's agree never to make faces again.
Patrick: Done and done.,Patrick! Don't even smile. That's considered making a face.
"Patrick: Right, gotcha. No problem. Not gonna make faces. No faces... at all.",Yeah. This is...  easy. How you holding up?
"Patrick: Huh, fine. You? Patrick:  Dun ah eeh.",Hey!  Patrick.  Patrick!
Patrick: What?,Look at us. We're okay. Our faces didn't freeze.
"Patrick: Gosh, you're right.","Guess, Mr. Krabs made a mistake. Well, now that we know his tall tale isn't true, let's make lots of faces."
Patrick: You mean like this?  Ree eeh eeh! Patrick:  Aye yi yi yi!,Aw!
Patrick: Phee!,Ay yi yi yi yi yi!
Patrick: Dun ree ah yee!,Doy doy doy doy!
Patrick: Ah ah ooh!,Duh!
Patrick: Aydh!,Awoot duh doo!
Patrick: Looo ooo ooo!,"Day ah dah da dah! I can't breathe!  Well, still no frozen faces. Let's really put this myth to the test. Let's see what happens when me hold one face for a long time."
"Patrick: Yes! But, how to choose just one? Um, well, let's see. Oh, oh... How about an eye cross,  uh? And then slip into an overbite.  And the finishing touch. Gah lowh.","Delightfully wicked, my friend. I call this one...  The Gary. Meow!"
"Patrick:  Gloriously disgusting, sir.",Let's not keep these grotesque faces to ourselves. Let us share them with the whole wide sea.
"Sandy:  You two need help. Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob! Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob! Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob!",It never gets so old!
Squidward: Do you mind?!,Mind what? Making faces? Of course were don't.
"Patrick: You got that right, pal! What a silly question.","Your turn, Squidward, let's see your crazy face."
Squidward: I don't wanna make faces. I want to sleep! D-de-de-de-Da!,That's a good one right there.
"Patrick: Oh, good one, Squidward! Squidward: Let's try a new game. Let's combine whatever you get out of whatever this is you're doing with the quiet of sleep!","Interesting challenge, but let's raise the stakes even higher. Patrick, I'll bet you can't keep that face all night, while you sleep!"
Patrick: Oh yeah? Watch me. Squidward: Whatever works.,"Wow, Patrick, you did hold that face all night!"
"Patrick: Actually, I can't move my face at all.",I can't move my face either!
Patrick:  All right! We did it!,"No, Patrick! It's not all right, this means Mr. Krabs was right!  Patrick, we have the face freeze! Patrick, Sandy was right, we need help!"
"SpongeBob and Patrick: Sandy! Sandy! Sandy: Hmm, this may get tricky. Y'all need to relax them facial muscles, what y'all need is a massage.","And you're a licensed masseuse, right, Sandy?"
"Sandy: Well, I shouldn't say licensed. Just sit back, relax, and let my gentle mammalian hands melt away that tension.  You seem to be carrying a lot of stress in your eyeballs. Them shoulders look way outta line. I can feel them knots just meltin' away. Let's see if I can just finesse that jaw line back in place.  Phew! Okay, you two. Bad news first. That wicked face freeze ain't going nowhere. But, y'all are looking much more relaxed. Mr. Krabs:  Ahoy, SpongeBob!","Hello, Mr. Krabs."
"Mr. Krabs: Hey, you all right, boy? Eh, look a little cattywampus walking in here.","Doing fine, Mr. Krabs. Just grillin' and grillin'..."
"Mr. Krabs: Ahem. Uh, but what's with the skewed posture?","Oh, did you hear that? Someone somewhere just dropped a penny."
Mr. Krabs:  Penny? Where?! Where?!,That'll buy me some time.
"Squidward: Let's go, SpongeBob, the orders are piling up.","I'm on it, Squidward!  Onion juice! Ah!"
"Squidward: Come on, SpongeBob! Chop, chop!","Okay, okay.  Ow! Phew. Order up."
"Squidward: You deliver it, I'm on break. Mr. Krabs: Penny, penny, penny, penny, penny, penny, penny, penny.  Penny, penny, penny, penny, penny...",Mr. Krabs is still distracted. Now's my chance.
"Mr. Krabs:  Penny, penny, penny, penny, penny, penny...","Your order is served, sir."
"Harold:  I'm sorry, I did not order a side of lips with my patty!","Oh, dear."
"Harold:  I'm taking my clams elsewhere. Mr. Krabs: Wait, come back!","Why, oh, why, why did I have to make a face?"
Mr. Krabs: What's going on back here? Why are we losing business?,"Um, how should I know? I'm just the cook in these parts."
"Mr. Krabs: Face me when I'm talking to you, boy-o.  So I can see your face.","Hey, have you seen this, Mr. Krabs?  My impersonation of a burrito!"
"Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, you better stand up this instant or... huh? Patrick:  Oh. Is this a bad time, SpongeBob? Mr. Krabs: Oh, I see what's going on here.  Aha! You just had to keep making faces, didn't ya? You couldn't heed me warning, could ya?","I'm sorry, Mr. Krabs. We thought it was just one of your stories."
"Mr. Krabs: I'm losing business because you thought I was telling one of me stories?! Why, this makes me so angry! I could just... just... just... ah!  No! I can't move me face. I've got the face freeze, too! Squidward: What is the hold up in here—?","Wait, Squidward, don't get worked up! you could get the face freeze!"
"Squidward: Face freeze? I thought that was a myth? Ha! Krabs too!  This is rich! Ha ha ha! Oh.  Hey, my face! Ah, my face. Oh, great, look at what you've done. Mr. Krabs: Look! Squidward has it, too! Squidward: Hey, it's not funny! Stop laughing!","Just two more minutes, Patrick."
Patrick:  Yup!,Look! Here he comes!
Patrick: Who?,"Thank you, Mr. Ranger."
"Patrick: Yeah, thanks. Ranger: Yes?",Aren't you forgetting something?
"Patrick: Yeah, something. Ranger:  Please show me your--  jellyfishing licenses.","Patrick, look! I caught a rare breed a glowing three-spot."
"Patrick: Hey, I caught one, too! This one's a five-spot.","Patrick, guess what?"
"Patrick: You like it here so much, you feel yourself being moved to a song?","Yes, yes, how did you guess?"
"Patrick: Well, I kinda feel the movement coming on myself.",Let's just start with the song.
Patrick: You mean The Jellyfishing Song?,That's the one.
"SpongeBob & Patrick: ♪Jelly lelly lelly lelly, jelly lelly lelly jelly, it's the jellyfishing song!♪ ♪Jelly lelly lelly lelly, jelly lelly lelly jelly, everyone sing along!♪ ♪I go jellyfishing in da' morn'in,♪ Patrick: ♪I jellyfish all da' night!♪","♪jellyfishing in da' afternoon,♪"
SpongeBob & Patrick: ♪Jellyfishing make me feel all right!♪ Coral: ♪Everybody singgggggggg♪ SpongeBob & Patrick: ♪Everyone sing along!♪,Isn't it great that these majestic creatures have Jellyfish Fields to call their home?
"Patrick: You bet! And it's highway convenient too, according to that big sign!",Big sign? I didn't see a big- Jumping Jellyfish! That's a big sign!
"Patrick:  It says, Future site of the Shelly Super Highway.",Super highway!? Do you know what this means?!
"Patrick: Well, it’s sorta like other roads, except there's no sto-","I know what a superhighway is! I mean for all this jellyfish! For us! For Jellyfish Fiel--ds, uh sorry."
"Patrick: So what you're saying is, that if they go though with their plans, to build this new superhighway through Jellyfish Fields, that every single species of flora & fauna that makes this place their habitat will be forced out of the ecosystem that they have formed, effectively being destroyed?","Well yeah, that's a simplified version, yeah, something like that,  which is why I hereby make this solemn vow to stop this so-called, Shelly Super Highway, from ever being built!"
"Larry: 1,397, 1,398--  Whoa!","Larry, you gotta help me stop the highway!"
"Larry: Can't right now, bro. I got about 4,098 more reps to do.","Mermaid Man! Barnacle Boy! Certainly with superpowers like yours, we can stop this superhighway!  Hmmm."
"Squidward: I'm sorry, SpongeBob. I actually would like to help, but I'm just too busy right now.",Too busy doing what?
"Squidward: I'm too busy telling you, No! Mr. Krabs: Private SpongeBob! Ahoy!","Captain Mr. Krabs, ahoy."
"Mr. Krabs: Why SpongeBob, that's not your usual four-fingered salute.",I'm just upset because they're building a highway over Jellyfish Fields.
"Mr. Krabs: Well, SpongeBob, I'd sure hate me customers to see you like this. Is there anything I can do to help?","Really, Mr. Krabs?"
"Mr. Krabs: Sure, why not?","Oh, Mr. Krabs! I just know that together, we can stop that nasty old highway from going right through Jellyfish Fields!"
"Mr. Krabs:  Uh, you're not talking about the Shelly Superhighway, are ya?","Yeah, why?"
Mr. Krabs:  Yes! I've already calculated how many new customers I'll get once it's finished. You can see for yourself in this series of these charts and diagrams I have displayed!,Charts and dia- Mr. Krabs! Didn't you see!?
Mr. Krabs: What?,"This.  According to these plans. After the Shelly Superhighway goes right through Jellyfish Fields, it goes right over the Krusty Krab! Look, there you are, decrepit and living in a cardboard box! Then, it goes through a loop-de-loop for some reason, and goes right through the front door of the Chum Bucket!"
Mr. Krabs:  What!? Who approved this plan!?,"Plan approved by & sponsored by Sheldon J. Plankton Enterprises, a division of No Fun Incorporated!"
"Mr. Krabs:  C'mon, boy! Let's you and I go over and show that Plankton a piece of our minds!",Think this piece will get the point across?
"Mr. Krabs:  Alright, Plankton! It's Eugene Krabs, here, with, What's-His-Name! Now c'mon out! Plankton: I can't. Mr. Krabs: C'mon outside, and take what's coming to ya! Plankton: I really can't come outside!",Why not!?
"Plankton:  Because I'm already out here, you bumbling barnacles! Open your eyes, for cryin' out loud! Mr. Krabs: Oh, right. Plankton: Now what's this all about, anyway? Mr. Krabs: Don't play coy with us, Shelly. We both know you've been up to no good. Now start talking. Plankton: All right, so I've been stealing your mail for the past five years, big whoop.",Not that!
Mr. Krabs: What? You've been what?,"We're talking about that new superhighway you're planning on building, and in case you didn't know, it's gonna destroy Jellyfish Fields. Not to mention that your plan is stupid and dumb and dumb and stupid."
"Mr. Krabs: Wait a minute. You've been what? Plankton: Well, that certainly was an interesting series of words that just tumbled out past your teeth and lips, but frankly, my dear sponge, I don't give a barnacle.",Huh?
"Mr. Krabs: I don't know. Plankton: Forget it. Even if I wanted to stop the Shelly Superhighway from being built, it would be impossible.",Why?
"Plankton: Because the whole city has already approved it! See for yourself, through this conveniently-timed flashback. Mayor: Order. Order. Order in the Meeting Hall.  Now all those in favor of paving over Jellyfish Fields and building the Shelly Superhighway, raise your right fin and say aye. Everyone: Aye! Mayor: Now everyone else, just sit there, quietly. Fish 1: I like highways. Fish 2: I like things that are super. Mr. Krabs: And I like saying, aye. Mr. Krabs: Oh, why did I say aye? Plankton: Seems as though the ayes have it. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got superhighway preparations to be attending to. Toodles!","What are we gonna do now, Mr. Krabs?"
"Mr. Krabs: Well, I'm gonna do the only thing I can do when me character is tested by insurmountable odds: lie on me back and sob loudly.","Normally, Mr. Krabs, I would lie on my back and sob loudly too, but I am not giving up! There's still one citizen in Bikini Bottom who won't sit still in the face on this outrageous injustice!"
"SpongeBob and Patrick:  ♪Chum Bucket, sludge bucket, highway fly away! Lilly liver, pizza giver, mashed potato, kelp tomato!♪ ♪All we are trying to say, is give Jellyfish Fields a chance!♪  ♪Ketchup bottle, net and goggle, tollbooth, rotten tooth, freeway plan, toast and jam, Mermaid Man, garbage can! Citrus fruit, combat boot, give a hoot, gorilla suit!♪  ♪All we are trying to say is give Jellyfish Fields a chance!♪  ♪Plankton's eye, ham on rye! Larry's thigh, battle cry! Ketchup squirt, long-sleeved shirt! Self assert,♪  ♪Hit the Dirt! Krusty Krab, smash and grab!♪  ♪Barg 'N' Mart! Grocery cart!♪  ♪All we are trying to say, is give Jellyfish fields a chance!♪  ♪C.E.O's! Gary's toes! Squidward's nose! Pantyhose! Rocking chair, wash and wear! Empty stare, Patrick's hair! Green trees, Sandy's fleas! Rise and shine, lemon lime! Out of time, squiggly line!♪  ♪Take a stand, hand in hand. All we are trying to say, is give Jellyfish Fields,♪  ♪a chance.♪  It's working, Patrick! They're booing the highway! Looks like our message has really gotten through to the people! Let's play a song while their hearts are open!  Hey wait a minute. This is one of our fliers! They're pelting us with our own pamphlets!  What does this mean! Patrick: I, couldn't tell you. Nat: I'll tell you what it means! It means this!","It means, you hate tambourines?"
"Fish: No! It means- Police Fish #1: Alright, you guys the highway haters?","Yes sir, but with good reason. You see, without Jellyfish Fields, jellyfish will have to find a new home and-"
"Police Fish #2: Alright, you two. You're under arrest!",What for?
Police Fish #1: Unlicensed use of a sitar!,"But, my grandma gave me this sitar! It didn't come with a license."
"Police Fish #2:  Yeah well, neither did this! Patrick: SpongeBob, I'll never forget what my great-Uncle Cletus said right before he was arrested during a freedom march.",What was that?
"Patrick: It's when a bunch of people go walkin' on the street, an-","I know what a freedom march is Patrick! I mean, what did he say?"
"Patrick: Oh, . He said, Let not your heart walk away from you, let your mind grow legs and follow it.","Wow. Your uncle sounds like a pretty smart guy, Patrick! What happened to him after he was arrested?"
"Patrick: I don't know, he was ever heard from him again. Police Fish #1: See ya later, longhairs! Patrick and SpongeBob: Bye!","See you later! Thanks for the lift! They left us, out here in the middle of nowhere!"
"Patrick: Oh, this isn't the middle of nowhere; We're actually on the edge of nowhere!","Well, at least it isn't raining! I'm not ready to give up just yet!"
Patrick:  I am!,"If we could just come up with a better way to reach the people, something everyone can see and hear!"
Patrick: You mean like a parade?,"Oh a parade! Patrick, how did you come up with such a brilliant idea?"
Patrick:  There's one going by right there. .,That certainly is a parade!
Patrick:  Look!,"Plankton! Driving a big tractor! This doesn't look good at all, Patrick."
Patrick: Does this?!,C'mon! Let's go follow them!
"Plankton: People of Bikini Bottom- Scottish fish:  Look, up there. Plankton: Today marks the new-  STOP MURMURING!  Thank you. And as I was saying, today marks the beginning of a new-   Shut up!  Today marks a new beginning for Bikini Bottom!  Now, it’s time to pave our way down the road to success!  Ah, I love the smell of hot tar in the morning! Yeah baby!  Hey you there! Are you trying to get yourself crushed!?","I won't let you do it, Plankton! If you're going to pave over Jellyfish Fields, you're going to have to pave over me first!"
"Plankton:  Ooh! Your wish is my command, Sponge!","Is that all you got? Knock it off, Patrick."
Mr. Krabs:  I used to dream of a restaurant that have an easy highway access!,"Yeah, but this is more like highway excess!"
"Squidward:  Well, I'm going to go soak my tentacles.  It's cold in here under all this concrete! Mr. Krabs:  But Squidward, we can't leave! What if we have, a customer? Squidward:  Really. We haven't had a customer since the day this highway was built!","uh, Squidward, it's technically its a super-highway."
Squidward:  I don't care what it is! I'm out of here!,But Squidward-
"Mr. Krabs:  No, no SpongeBob. Squidward's right.  I think it's high time we started accepting facts.","I'm on it, Mr. Krabs!"
Mr. Krabs:  No boyo! Not that kind!,"Mr. Krabs, what are you saying?"
Mr. Krabs:  The Krusty Krab can't stay in business. Not like this.,It can't?
Mr. Krabs: No SpongeBob. It's time to activate Plan Zed-9er9er.,Zed-9er9er!?
"Squidward: Eugene, what is plan Zed-9er9er!? And more importantly, how does it affect me!? Mr. Krabs: Plan Zed-9er9er is,  I'm- I'm- I'm selling the Krabby Patty secret formula to Plankton! Squidward:  Eugene! Mr. Krabs:  I have no choice. And stop calling me Eugene.",Tell me I'm dreaming!
"Squidward:  Not this time, little fella. Plankton: Uh, lower, a little lower, yeah, that's it!  Now who could that be during my hour of triumph?  How appropriate. Mr. Krabs: Plankton, I'm ready to negotiate a price for me secret formula. Plankton: Oh, goody!  Let me just wind my watch! Mr. Krabs:  What for? Plankton:  'Cause I'm gonna love every minute of this!  Did you hear that? Karen is that you? Mr. Krabs:  Up there!  Whoa nelly!","First I lost Jellyfish Fields, and- and......"
Squidward: And what?,And now I lost the only job I ever wanted!
"Squidward: Look at it this way, I don't have to see you every day now! Ha this could be the start of something beautiful!  OW! What in the name of-!",Squidward Look!
Squidward: What am I looking-,All the jellyfish who used to live in Jellyfish Fields are coming to Bikini Bottom!
"Squidward: Yeah, but for some reason, I don't think it's to distribute holiday gift baskets!","Aw, ya don't?"
"Mr. Krabs:  Uh. You know, Plankton? Let's just talk about this later. I think I'm just gonna run for me life. Plankton:  Wait! I'm coming with you!  Nooooo!  Not the eye! Not the eye! Ben: Chaos runs rampid in Bikini Bottom.  That's right folks, this is news reporter, Ben Blenny standing in for Perch Perkins who's out today with a terrible case of indigestion, and we are coming to you live during day 3 of what appears to be Bikini Bottom's worst- Bill: Am I on television? Ben: Yes sir, you are, would you care to say a few words about the- Bill:  Hi, Mom, hi, Dad. Hey, Dr. Slieen.  Hey, Jennifer, hey, Sally, hey, Francis, hey, Mable,  hey, Julie, hey, Abigail.",Ah! Now they'll have to listen!
"Bill: And there's my pals in El Tuna, and the gang at the Pudgy Flipper... Ben: Uh, thank you.  Hello, little boy, how about saying a few words into the camera about the current crisis?","Well, okay, I guess. Sorry I am a little nervous."
"Ben: That's understandable, just speak loud and clear.","Well, all I have to say is that, um, well,  Stop the madness! We need to get Jellyfish Fields back to the jellyfish, which will restore their natural habitat, so they will be in peace. And balance will once again restore to their natural land. So what do you say everybody, will you help me?"
Everybody: No!,"You're kidding, right?"
Everybody: Yes!,"Well all right! Everybody, follow me. Okay everyone, say goodbye to the worst thing that's happened to this town since 97 cent stores."
"Everyone: Yeah! Plankton: Good effort, Spongedope, but you can't tear up my highway, it's indestructible! Larry Lobster: Not if we have anything to do with it!",Larry Lobster!
"Larry: That's right pal, but that's not all.",Sandy Squirrel! Mrs. Puff! Mermaid Man & Barnacle Boy! Patrick!
Patrick: Su-Su-Su-Su!,And Squidward!
"Fish 3: Nope, that's everybody! Larry: Push! Larry: Harder!",Harder still!
"Fish 3: You heard the little square guy, yeah! Plankton: Wait! I didn't count on all of you working together! Plankton: My highway! Stop, you can't! Everyone: Yeah! Mr. Krabs: Praise Neptune.","Jelly lelly lelly leely, jelly lelly lelly jelly, it's the jelly fishing song!"
Jellyfish: Clap!,"Jelly lelly lelly lelly, jelly lelly lelly jelly, everyone sing along!"
"Jellyfish: Clap! Everyone: Jelly lelly lelly leely, jelly lelly lelly jelly, it's the jelly fishing song! Jellyfish: Clap! Everyone: Jelly lelly lelly leely, jelly lelly lelly jelly everyone siiiiinnnnggggg! Ranger:  Everyone sing along.","♪Going on down to Boating School! Boating School! Boating School! Going on down to Boating School! Rea de de la Mrs. Puff!♪  For me? Well on behalf on yours truly, I would like to thank each of you for such a wonderful and warm welcome.  Thank you.  Thank you sir."
Sandals: What I do?,"Mrs. Puff, thank you most of all!"
"Mrs. Puff: SpongeBob, that warm welcome wasn't for you.",It wasn't?
Mrs. Puff: No!,"Then, who was it for?"
Shubie: It's for him!,"It's Tony Fast! The famous race boat driver!  And his first born son, Tony Fast Jr.!"
Mable-Monica: I can't believe it's him! Oh...,I can't believe that I'm in the presence of such big celebrities.
"Tony Fast:  Good luck on your first day of school son! Tony Jr.: Yeah, whatever. Tony Fast: Don't show off too much!  Show off and just enough! Harold: Hey! Tony Jr.,  wanna sign my lunch box? Sandles:  You wanna sign my steering wheel? Shubie: Wanna sign my... Harold: Hey! I was here first! Shubie: No you weren't! I was! Mrs. Puff:  Ahem! While Tony Jr. is a student here, he will receive no special attention! He will be treated just like the rest of us! No exceptions! Now Tony, report to the obstacle course where I will access your abilties! Tony Jr: Sure thing Teach! Mrs. Puff: Hold it!  Not until you've signed my lunchbox! Crowd:  Go, Tony Jr., Go! Go, Tony Jr., GO!  Yay! Tony Jr.:  Looks like it's my turn!  What goes around comes around!  Over and out! Crowd: Hooray! Mrs. Puff:  He is good... Gasp! If he's really that good, maybe there's a chance, just a chance, some of that good could rub off my incorrigible student SpongeBob SquarePants!  Yes!",Mrs. Puff?
Mrs. Puff: Yes SpongeBob?,What does Incorrigible mean?
Tony Jr.: So you just want me to ride around with this dude for awhile? Mrs. Puff: That's it. Tony Jr.: Whatever... Let's roll!,It's nice to finally meet you Tony Fast Jr!
Tony Jr.: I said let's roll!,"Okay! Uh, roll? Roll!? Roll!? Is there a button for that?  I know I know this! It's around here somewhere! I-"
Tony Jr.: Just drive!,Just driving!  W-w-w-what do these dotted lines mean?
"Tony Jr.: Relax, man. You gotta relax.",Relax... relax? Mrs. Puff hasn't taught us that yet!
"Tony Jr.: No, I mean just relax man...",Okay... just relaxing... and... relaxing! Relaxing! So hard!  Raw! I cant' relax!
"Tony Jr.: No, no, no. Not like that. You just gotta let go.",Let go?
Tony Jr.: Be... cool...,Be cool?
Tony Jr.: Be... cool...,Be... cool...  Cool...
"Tony Jr.: Not bad, dude, not bad. Suzy: Gasp! It's a miracle! Harold:  Neptune be praised! Mrs. Puff: That went better than expected! Oh! If Tony Jr. can keep this up, then SpongeBob might even graduate and I'll be rid of him forever! Forever!  Forever! Tony Jr.: Okay Bro-Jangles! Catch you...  ...on the flipside!  What the? Tony Jr.:  Yeah, what is it? Can't you see I'm walking here?",I can see that! And I'm eager to learn more from you!
Tony Jr.: Eager?,Yeah!
"Tony Jr.: I can't teach you anything more at this square school, no offense, SquarePants.",None taken!
"Tony Jr.: Well, if you really wanna learn more, you can come by my house laters!",Oh! I'll be delighted to! 
Tony Jr.: Who is it?,It's SpongeBob SquarePants!
Tony Jr: Who?,"SpongeBob, SquarePants!  Tony Fast Jr.!"
Tony Jr.: Guy From School! Come on in!,Nice place you got here Tony Jr.!
Tony Jr.: Thanks! Lived here all my life! My mom and dad are out.,"Oh! Uh, what does that mean?"
Tony Jr.: It means... you wanna see my dad's vintage speedboat collection?,Oh would I?
Tony Jr.: And he took first place in this beauty surpassing speed records held by both Francis Baconskin Jr. and Smitty Tailpipe Rockama!,Wow! They're so shiny!
Tony Jr.: Pick your favorite!,My favorite? Oh I couldn't!
Tony Jr.: Why sure you can! What's the big-,This one!
Tony Jr.: Huh? The Batonia Classic! Excellent choice!  Want to take her for a spin?,A spin? But we don't even have boating licenses!
Tony Jr.:  You don't need a boating license for a raceboat SquarePants!,Wow Tony Jr.! She handles like a dream! It's like I'm floating air!
Tony Jr.:  You're telling me!,"Are you sure you're comfortable with me driving, though? I admit I'm feeling a little nervous..."
Tony Jr.: I wouldn't if I were you! Remember it was your nerves that made us almost crash before!,Hah... my nerves! I almost forgot about... my nerves!  Sorry sir!
Tony Jr.: Just let go!  Phew...,Let go... got it!  Whee!
"Tony Jr.: Go faster, SpongeBob!",Faster?
Tony Jr.: Just let go! Of the brakes!,Eh... if you say so!  Whee!  Whee!  Whee!
Tony Jr: Now you're getting it!,Whee... red light!
Tony Jr: Real cool SquarePants...,Thanks TFJ...
Street Racer: That's quite a fancy speed boat you got right there! For a couple of squares! Female Passenger: What he said!,"Thank you! And may I say how lovely your speed boat is, too! For a bunch of circles! And by circles, I mean well-rounded individuals! Ah ha ha ha!"
"Street Racer: Well wise guy eh? Well then, how about you wise up to an unfriendly competition? Right here, right now! Female Passenger: Yeah! What he said!","Right here, right now? A little short notice...  let me check my availability.  Let's see... Right now... Looks like I don't have anything scheduled for right now. Therefore, I would like to accept your challenge!"
Tony Jr: Yes!,"However! Certain safety concerns prevent me from doing so! Therefore, I must decline!"
Tony Jr: SquarePants! I can't believe what I'm hearing here!,I don't hear anything...
Tony Jr:  Ah... Look kid! Being cool includes accepting this challenge! Anything less would be an embarrassment!,"I would never want to embarrass you Tony Jr. Therefore, I accept your challenge!"
Street Racer: Oh it's on! Female Passenger: What he said! Street Racer: Do you mind? Street Racer: Huh? Hah hah! Female Passenger: What he said!,Grr... Grr!
Larry: Sweet! Instant tannage!,Grr!
Street Racer:,We're winning! We're winning!
Policeman 1: Whoa! Did you see that? Policeman 2: That guy wasn't just going fast... Both: ...He was going Tony Fast!,Huh? Oh no! The cops are after us! What are we going to do?
"Tony Jr: What? Sorry, I couldn't hear you over that siren.",Now there's a helicopter after us!
"Tony Jr: What's that? I couldn't hear you over that helicopter! Newsman: And in other news, son of racing legend, Tony Fast is currently involved in a high speed chase, it is rumored that the... Tony Fast: What the?",What're we going to do!?
"Tony Fast: Tony Jr! When I get my hands on you, I'm gonna-",Now your dad is after us!
"Tony Jr: Sorry I couldn't hear you, my... my... My dad is after us! What're we gonna do?!",How should I know? He's your dad!
"Tony Jr: Well just remember my advice, okay? All you got to do is let go... be cool... let go... be cool...","Do you see where letting go has gotten us so far? Huh, Tony Jr?"
"Mrs. Puff: Well class, I regret to inform you that Tony Jr. is no longer with us... Crowd: Gasp! Mrs. Puff: He was transferred to another school. However, I would think that Tony Jr. taught us all a valuable lesson...",Oh! Oh! Oh! Never argue and drive?
Mrs. Puff: Close... the lesson is: Never let you drive!,"Ah, time for bed, Gary."
Gary: Meow?,"Oh, Gary.  You know what they say: curiosity salted the snail! Mind your wandering eye, you little mollusk. Sweet dreams, Gary.  Hey! Over here!  Wait a minute. I don't have a driver's license!  Wow. My driver's license. I can't believe it!  I sure take a good picture.  Darn! I should have grown a mustache.  How could I have forgotten the most important rule of driving? Always wear your seatbelt.  Hey, I can see the Krusty Krab from here.  Mrs. Puff! Look! I've finally got my driver's license!"
"Mrs. Puff:  Not even in your dreams, Mr. SquarePants!",No!  Ouch! Where am I?  Is that me? Or is this me? Am I still dreaming?
Gary: Meow.  Meow.,"This must be Gary's dream. I'm gonna get a closer look.  Whoa! Wow. Look at all these books. I wonder where Gary is.  Gary! Huh?  Excuse me, sir. Have you seen...?"
Gary:  SpongeBob?,Gary?
Gary: How dare you invade the sanctity of my dreams?,Gary! You can talk!
"Gary:  In dreams, one is not tethered by earthly limitations.",What does that mean?
"Gary: Come.  For ages, dreams have been thought of as windows to another realm.  Let me not mar that perfect dream by an auroral stain, but so adjust my daily night that it may come again. Emily Dickinson wrote that.",Who?
Gary:  Here's one you might know.  There once was a man from Peru who dreamed he was eating his shoe. He woke with a fright in the middle of the night to find that his dream had come true.,"Gee, Gary, you sure are smart."
Gary: Did you think my shell was full of hot air?,"Well, thanks for the info, Gary. I'm going back to my own dream now."
"Gary: Beware of your wandering eye, you little poriferan!","I wonder what Patrick's dreaming.  I can't resist!  Hey, Patrick!"
"Patrick: Hi, SpongeBob.","You know, Patrick, this is a dream. You can do anything you want."
Patrick: Yup.,I mean anything! Watch. I can turn into a skyscraper.  Going up! Eh?  I can make...  A million of me! Eh? Eh?
Patrick: Yup.,"Ah, tartar sauce. I'm going to a different dream."
"Patrick: Okay. Bye, SpongeBob.  Oh!  Shoot, that was my last quarter.","Ooh, this is gonna be good!  Psst! Squidward!  Hey, Squidward!"
"Squidward: SpongeBob! King: Ahem!  Why do you stop playing, Wolfgang Amadeus Tentacles? Squidward: Yes, Your Highness.  SpongeBob! King: Hey! I have not instructed you to stop! Now play!  Oh, do tell me the one about the man from Peru again. Squidward:  Sponge-  Bob... King:  I came here to hear beautiful music! If I don't get my wish, it will be your head! Squidward:",Squidward!  Huh? Huh?
"Squidward:  No way. King: Ahem! Squidward:  Please, SpongeBob, no tricks.","Trust me, Squidward. La la! La la la la la la la!"
Fish:  His music touches me ever-so. I fear that my tears might stain my petticoat. Squidward:  Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Fish: What is this instrument that produces such lovely sound?,"So long, Squidward!"
Squidward:,"Hey! I'm at Sandy's!  Aw, this looks neat! I wonder..."
"Sandy:  Hey, SpongeBob, what brings you here?","Hey, Sandy! What's going on?"
"Sandy:  Well, we're free-falling from 114,000 feet, and we're gonna land on that itty-bitty target.",This seems kind of dangerous!
Sandy: Not as long as you've got a big old parachute!,Okay!
"Sandy: Not a pair of shoes, SpongeBob! Parachute!",Gotcha!
Sandy: Not a parakeet! Para-  medic...,"Ouch! All right, that's it. No more messing with people's dreams.  H-h-hey! Mr. Krabs.  Uhh... Mr. Krabs?"
"Pearl: Hello, SpongeBob!","Oh, Pearl. This is your dream."
Pearl: You're just in time for the tea party!,"Actually, I was looking for your dad's dream."
"Pearl:  Oh. He's next door.  Boys don't understand the sophistication of tea parties. Right, Mr. Stuffy?",Bye!  I bet Mr. Krabs' dream will be more robust.
"Krabs: I've got you now, you slippery demon!  You're putting up a good fight, yes you are.","Whatcha doin’, Mr. Krabs?"
Krabs: I'm picking Neptune's pocket!,What are you talking about?
"Krabs: I'm talking about cold hard flippin' cash.  It's the mighty Moby Dollar!  Did you see her, boy? I got her! Here she comes!  There she blows!","Look, Mr. Krabs. Pennies!"
"Krabs: Never mind the small change, lad. Get the net!",This one?
"Krabs: No, no, no, no! The money net! It's in me back pocket.","Wow! You look real good with a mustache, Mr. Krabs."
"Krabs: Never mind that, boy. Ready the net!","Net ready, sir!"
Krabs:  I did it!  I finally did it!,"Congratulations, Mr. Krabs."
"Krabs: No, SpongeBob! Don't let it go!",Huh?
"Krabs: Get it, SpongeBob! Get it! Get it! Get it! Get it! Get it!",Hey! Hey! I...!
Krabs: No!,"This'll make a great fish story, eh, Mr. Krabs?"
"Krabs: Oh, SpongeBob...","Yes, Mr. Krabs?"
Krabs:  You're fired!,"Ooh! Hey, Plankton's dreaming about Bikini Bottom."
Plankton: Zap!  I see you.  Zap! Fred: My leg! Plankton: I see you. Zap!,Plankton!
"Plankton: I see you...  Zap!  Oh look, it's the Krusty Krab, home of the Krabby Patty.  Crush!  Lick, lick!",This isn't a dream! This is a nightmare!
Gary: Meow! Meow!,Gary! Gary! No!
"Gary: Meow! Plankton: Here, kitty, kitty, kitty.","Gary!  I've got you, Gary!"
"Plankton: Peek-a-boo, here comes my foot!  Yeah! Huh?  Yow!",I think he's got the point.
"Plankton:  Waaaaaah!  Well, I guess I've got some explaining to do, huh?  No! No! No! Not the face!","Ooh!  Ah, that was fun and all, but it's good to be back in my own dream cloud.  Ah..."
Squidward:  SpongeBob! All: SpongeBob!,What do you want with me?! Leave me alone! No! No no no no no no!
Squidward: SpongeBob! SpongeBob!,"Hey, what are you all doing in your pajamas? Are we having a slumber party?"
"Squidward: No. We are not having a slumber party! Sandy: Do us all a favor, SpongeBob, and stay out of our dreams! All except Patrick: Plankton: Take a hike! Squidward: Don't we get enough of you during the day? Gary:  Meow! Patrick:  Does anyone have a quarter? Mr. Krabs: Hey, I'm expecting a fifty cent rebate check. Gimmie, gimmie, gimmie. Mailman: Sorry. No check. But I've got this. Mr. Krabs: Oh, a correspondence in a bottle, eh?  Ahoy, Eugene. I'm so proud you followed your ol' Grampa's peg leg and became a pirate, that I'll be sailing by for a ship's inspection. That vessel better be well-oiled or you'll be dancing the short plank jig. Happy looting! Grampa Redbeard!  Grandpa Readbeard comin’ bla, bla, bla!","I didn't know your grandpa was a pirate, Mr. Krabs."
"Mr. Krabs: Aye, I come from a whole family of pirates. Gramps used to say, The Krabs Clan has been pirates for as long as we've had claws. And he wanted me to be a pirate, too. Baby Mr. Krabs: Grandpa Redbeard:  One day, you'll be a plunderin' pirate just like yer ol' granddad here. Mr. Krabs: So I bought me a ship, hired a crew..... Crew member: Aaarrrrr! Mr. Krabs: And for years, I drifted the high seas as a pirate. And booty did abound. Crew members: Mr. Krabs: I started to notice a recurring fee. I just wasn't turning enough profit. So I fired me crew and sold me ship. ‘Twas also the last time I saw me granddad. Grandpa Redbeard: Aaarrr, if it ain't me pirate grandson. Young Mr. Krabs: Well, actually, Grandpa,...I just sold... Grandpa Redbeard: Ya know how proud it makes me to see me only grandson continuin' in the family business. Young Mr. Krabs: Yeah, uh, Grandpa... Grandpa Redbeard: And I'll be keepin' me eye on yer career to see how you progress. Just remember, the only rule in the Pirate's Code of Honor is: Never tell a lie. Mr. Krabs: For all he knows, the Krusty Krab is a pirate ship. If he were to find out the truth, it would break his salty, barnacle encrusted heart. Boo-hoo!",Why don't we just make the Krusty Krab look like a pirate ship.
"Mr. Krabs: Hm. Not a bad idea, boy. But we're gonna need a first rate crew.",We've got Squidward. And I could get Patrick to join up.
"Mr. Krabs: Yeah. Mr. Krabs: All right, me hearties! Get this one thing clear. If Grandpa Redbeard is ever gonna believe I'm a pirate, ye landlubbers are gonna have to pass as a pirate crew. Which means, I want you to look like a pirate.  I want you to talk like a pirate.",Swarthy! I mean...shiver me timbers!
"Patrick: Squidward: Mr. Krabs: Patrick: Mr. Krabs: Way to go, fellars. Grandpa Redbeard:  Hee-ar! Mr. Krabs: He's comin'! Grandpa Redbeard: Har, har, har! Mr. Krabs: Hide me, boy. Grandpa Redbeard: Eugene, me boy! Aye, it's good to see you and yer ship after so many moons! Just beginin' to think you was lyin' to yer old granddad! Mr. Krabs: Oh, I...Heh, heh. So, have ya met me hearties? Grandpa Redbeard: Hm...this might be a pirate crew. But more miserable jellyfishers than swarvy brine-skimmers.",Um...
"Grandpa Redbeard: Har, har, har! I'm just yankin' yer chain, boy! You look like a fine pirate crew. Mr. Krabs: Oh. Grandpa Redbeard: Now, let's see what this rusty old pelican can do! Let's sail! SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward: Aye, sir!","Ahoy, Captain! We be catchin' a mighty gale from the northeast."
"Mr. Krabs: Indeed, indeed. And just look at the treacherous surf in our path! Squidward: Patrick: Mr. Krabs: Oh, that salty sea air be so thick, ya can almost taste it. Grandpa Redbeard: Aye. Mr. Krabs: I better take the helm and guide us to safer waters. Aye, that be a wicked soundin' wind out there, eh, Granddad? I said, Aye, that be a wicked soundin' wind out there!",Oh!
"Mr. Krabs: Oh, nothing. Look! Grandpa Redbeard: Har, har, har, har! That's me boy! Mr. Krabs: Clear! SpongeBob and Patrick: Hooray! Patrick: Hooray!",Woo-hoo!
"Patrick: Squidward: Mr. Krabs: What exactly are we dealin' with, Grandpa? Grandpa Redbeard: Somethin' bigger than I've ever seen! A ravin' garganst comin' by with coarsmatic tangled locks! Mr. Krabs:  Oh, so depulsive. Grandpa Redbeard: Yeah. It must be destroyed! Here, see for yourself. Mr. Krabs: Go get it, Granddad. Pearl: Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad! Mr. Krabs: Wait a minute. What kinda disgusting, horrible abomination is dare invade me vessel? Pearl: Dad! Mr. Krabs:  That disgusting, horrible thing is me daughter! Grandpa Redbeard: Pearl: Open up! Grandpa Redbeard: Prepare to meet yer maker, sea witch. Mr. Krabs: Nooooo! Grandpa Redbeard: What are ya doin'? Mr. Krabs: Oh, I, oh, I was just checkin' the cannon and makin' sure it was loaded. Grandpa Redbeard: What is this?! Mr. Krabs: I can explain. Pearl: Dad! Dad! Grandpa Redbeard: Now it's even more angry! Mr. Krabs: Don't worry! I have it under control! Pearl: Daddy! Mr. Krabs: Pearl! Could ya pipe down? Your Great-Granddad Redbeard is in there! Pearl: What's with the lame outfit? Mr. Krabs: What? Oh, never mind that!  Just go home. Grandpa Redbeard: Mr. Krabs: I bet you're wondering about that. Grandpa Redbeard: Ar, you're darn tootin' I am! Patrick: Mr. Krabs: Do you mind? Grandpa Redbeard: What kinda ship are you runnin' here? Mr. Krabs: Just a second. Grandpa Redbeard: Arrrrrrrrrrrr! Arrrrrrrrrrrr! Mr. Krabs: Now, Granddad. There's a simple explanation. Grandpa Redbeard: I've smelled sticky things, but nothin' smells stickier than a lie! The code that all pirates live by, you knows what it is, don't ya? Mr. Krabs: Of course I do, Granddad. Grandpa Redbeard: Well, then, say it! Mr. Krabs: It's, it's, it's a pirate never lies!  And I've been a dirty liar! Everything you see is a lie! This sail is a lie!  This crew is a lie!  Even the ship is a lie!  All of it! All a lie! Grandpa Redbeard: Krabby Patties: $2.00. Krusty Combo: $3.99! Coral Bits: $1.95?! Mr. Krabs: You see, Granddad? I'm no pirate. I'm just a lowly restaurant owner! I'm sorry I failed ye. Grandpa Redbeard: Fail, me boy?! Ha, ha, ha! Why, I couldn't be more proud. Look at yer ludicrous prices! Now, that's real piracy. Ya done good, boy-o! Mr. Krabs: Really? Thanks, Granddad! Grandpa Redbeard: Why, thank yourself, lad! You created this dynasty on yer own! Now, I'll be takin' me lead, boy! Mr. Krabs: Goodbye, Granddad! What an honest man! Grandpa Redbeard:  I hope ya don't mind, boy-o, but I helped myself to a little bit of yer booty! Mr. Krabs: I knew I got me talent from someone! The Greek Chorus: Behold! We are the Greek Chorus! We narrate this epic tale of stupidity! The Greek Chorus:  Behold Neptune, god of the sea,  with his mighty trident, a weapon so powerful,  nothing is beyond its user's reach! Behold the Kraken!  Gross monster. The Greek Chorus: Behold Neptune triumphant!  What an awesome dude!  Behold this idiot and beware, for trident trouble comes!",Sorry.
The Greek Chorus: See? Customers:  Food! Food! Food! Food! Food! Food! Fred: Food! Food! Ah.,"Hey, I was still reading that!"
"Squidward: Forget the stupid comic! We've got a situation here! We don't have any Krabby Patties, and these animals are trying to eat us instead!  Hey, who's responsible for this? Mr. Krabs:  Get to flipping those patties fast, boy-o! Before we all become the lunch special!","I'm on it, Mr. Krabs! Oh, the toppings haven't been prepped! I wish this lettuce and tomato would just cut themselves up!"
"Tomato #1:  Let's do this! Lettuce: Yeah! Cut me up good, girlfriend!",Huh. I guess I did chop the toppings up after all.
Squidward: 37 Krabby Patties! Fast!,"37 patties? How am I gonna flip 37 patties?  Huh, has my spatula always had three heads?"
The Greek Chorus:  No! And it is not a spatula. Mr. Krabs: Get them patties out here fast SpongeBob!  Arrgh!,"Oh, I wish these Krabby Patties would just serve themselves so I could keep cooking."
Krabby Patty #1: Hey! Krabby Patty #2: Yay! Krabby Patty #3: Yeah! Krabby Patties:  Woo! Woo! Woo!,"Whoa, my spatula never did that before."
"Krabby Patties:  Krabby Patty! Krabby Patty! Mr. Krabs:  Huh?  I don't know how you're doing this, boy-o, but keep it up! Folks will pay every cent they have to watch Krabby Patties dance! Look at how cute they are! Mr. Krabs:  We're running out of them dancing patties! Faster, boy-o!  Faster!","Dance! Come on, dance! I'm trying, Mr. Krabs!  I'm trying!  Come on, you, work!"
Neptune's Trident: The Greek Chorus:  The sponge has angered the trident.  Trouble comes. Mr. Krabs: No! This is gonna cost me money!,"Mr. Krabs, I wish you wouldn't worry about money at a time like this!"
"Mr. Krabs: Right you are, boy-o!  Here, take this! Here you go! I can't stop!  There you go! What's happening to me?!",What is going on around here?
Neptune's Trident: Ahem.,"Hey, what's this?  Whoa! My spatula is magic!"
"The Greek Chorus: Magic, magic, magic.",This is awesome! I will use this magic spatula to help everyone.
"Ivy:  I'll have two, please.","I'll help you, baby! Boing!"
"Harold: What's wrong, grass? Why won't you grow? Talk to me. Grass: We'll do more than just talk to yous! Let's see how you like getting mowed!","There is no problem I cannot solve, for I am SpongeBob, Emperor of the Sea!  Hey, get outta here, you pesky jellyfish!"
"The Greek Chorus: Whoa, slow your roll! Only Neptune, true ruler of the sea, can control the trident. Neptune's Trident: King Neptune: So I say, Look, Zeus, either you come up with more money or Neptune walks. Baby Kraken:  There he is, ma! That's the man who hit me! Mother Kraken: Don't cry, baby. Mother will handle this. King Neptune: Let us battle!  Take that! Mother Kraken: Huh?  This is dry-clean only, you monster! King Neptune:  Property of SpongeBob? King Neptune: Uh-oh. Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob. You look so sparkly today.","Of course I do, for I am SpongeBob, Emperor of the Sea."
"Patrick: Oh.  No! My ice cream! Ooh, why is the world so full of pain?","Fear not, bestest of friends. You shall have all the ice cream you could ever eat!"
"The Greek Chorus: No, you'll only make it worse! Patrick: Ahhh! Best day ever! Ice Cream Man: No, worse day ever.  Oh, my back. The Greek Chorus: See?",I can fix this!
Ice Cream Man: Hooray! Patrick: Boo!,I think I know a way to make you both happy.
"The Greek Chorus: You really don't. How do you not get that by now? Patrick: An ice cream geyser! Patrick: Brain freeze! I can't eat it all! Ah, I've never been more disappointed in myself. Medley Fishbowl: Ooh, I like choc... Fred:  Oh, the creamy delicious horror. Patrick: Save us, SpongeBob! Save us! No wait.  Okay, now save us!","Stop, ice cream! Stop! Stop! Oh, I just made it worse! Patrick, I've ruined everything."
"Patrick: Oh, SpongeBob, I wouldn't say that. Shubie: Our baby! Harold: I'll never mow you again! Mr. Krabs: Take me money! Patrick:  Ow! Okay, SpongeBob, you ruined everything.",No sponge should have this much power.
The Greek Chorus: We told you so.,Not helping!
"King Neptune:  Well, maybe I can help. I believe I have something of yours.",My spatula! T-Then what's this?
King Neptune: That is my trident!,"Well, take your trident. I don't want it anymore. Whoa! Stop! That wasn't me."
"The Greek Chorus: Too long away from its true master, the trident has run wild. Male Greek Singer: What a jerk. Neptune's Trident:",Sorry! Pardon me! It's stuck! Ahh! Make it stop!
"King Neptune: You have been one naughty trident! Neptune's Trident: King Neptune: Oh, I can't stay mad at you. King Neptune: Now let's see if we can fix all of this. Mr. Krabs:  Give me back me money! Grass: Mow us good! King Neptune: You know, SpongeBob, your spatula is just as powerful as my trident.",Really?
King Neptune: Ha! Not even close!  But it's still pretty great.,"Thanks for bailing me out, Neptune. If there's any way I can ever help you, just let me know."
"King Neptune: Well, there is one way. King Neptune: There they are!",Let's get 'em!
"Squidward: What a sun-tastic day!  Snail trail.  That SpongeBob needs to keep his pet out of my yard. I am sick of cleaning up after him. Gary: Meow. Squidward: Not my pet rock collection.  That's it! This isn't the first time you've soiled my yard with your revolting excretions. But mark this down in your little notebook: it will be the last time!  This cheap, splintering wood will keep even Gary out. Now, I feel safe.  SpongeBob!","Hi, Squidward."
"Squidward:  Hey, SpongeBob...  Keep your shelled vermin off of my property! The next time, my annoyingly yellow neighbor, your wet pet oozes on my lawn, you leave me no choice but to call Snail Control. That little monster...  He bit me!","Gary! No, dirty boy. This isn't like you."
"Squidward: Oh, but it's just like you, SpongeBob, to raise such a misbehaved mollusk.",Gary's not misbehaved!
Gary:,But there does appear to be something wrong with him.
Squidward: I'll say. I hope he had his shots.,"Oh, of course."
Squidward: All of his shots?,Affirmatory.
Squidward: For rabies?,Yup.
Squidward: Snail pox and soft shell dance?,Yupie.
"Squidward: Bronchitis, lumpy-bump trump, teen angst?","Yup, yup, yup."
"Patrick:  Well, let's not forget the worst of them all: Mad Snail Disease.",Uhh...
"Patrick: You mean your pet hasn't been vaccinated for mad snail disease?  Looks like the rash has already started. Squidward: Rash? Patrick: Tell me, do you have any soreness of throat? Squidward:  Well, now that you mention it, my throat is a little dry. Patrick: This disease will ravage your body with bloodshot eyes, loss of balance... Squidward: Whoa! Patrick: Messy pants,  ticklish rib cage,  severely untrimmed toenails, and finally, the bite from that infected snail  will turn you into... A zombie. Patrick:  You need to get that snail of yours to a doctor before he bites someone important.  There's a mad snail on the loose!",Gary? Gary?! Gary?! Gary?!
"Patrick:  The mad snail is coming! If he bites you, you'll turn into a zombie. Fish: Jeepers, what's with all the lunatics? Fish's Wife: Oh look, honey, isn't he the cutest? Fish: Come here, little buddy.  He's just adorable.  Mad snail disease is real! I'm a zombie. I've been bitten by a mad snail. I've got mad snail disease! Fish #2: Then I've got it! A snail just bit me, too! Frank: Johnny: We interrupt this broadcast to bring you a news blast. Terror in a shell. This just in... fear and disease are spreading like wildfire as a killer snail has been biting the denizens of Bikini Bottom infecting them with... mad snail disease.  Ask any old fish on the street and they'll tell you that germs enter through the bite radius, traveling upstream until the entire host body is full of... mad snail disease.  We now take you to Action News Reporter Perch Perkins live on the scene. Perch Perkins: Perch Perkins here with the first victim of this epidemic. Tell me Mr Tentacles, when did you first begin to suspect that you were a zombie? Squidward: Well, after I was bitten by a mad snail, I began to get a rash; followed by loss of balance, ticklish rib cage, and a few other symptoms. Frank:  Hey, I was bitten by a snail. I kinda feel off balance.  Whoa. Perch Perkins: Hey, I have a ticklish rib cage, too. And I haven't even been bitten. Frank:  Oh no, it's spreading through the air! Perch Perkins: Well, you heard it here first. We're all doomed to a horrible demise. Thanks to a diseased snail.",Gary?  I can't believe that sweet and slimy snail would cause all this destruction.
"Squidward:  I'm a zombie... here to dine on your squishy yellow flesh!  It's locked!  Somebody let me in. Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, come in, boy. And bring your friends in, too. They look hungry. Frank: Stop! You can't let anyone in! Mr. Krabs: But they just want to dine on some Krabby Patties. Frank: They're zombies. They only want to dine on our flesh. Mr. Krabs: Arrgh, alright, but it's coming out of your paycheck. Frank: I don't work here.","But, Mr. Krabs, it's me, SpongeBob."
Mr. Krabs: But how do we know you haven't become one of those voracious flesh-eaters?,Could a voracious flesh-eater do this?
"Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, it's you.",That's right. So let me in before I'm eaten.
"Mr. Krabs: Yeah, that's SpongeBob all right. Patrick: Or is it?",Huh?
Patrick: I don't believe that's the real SpongeBob. He looks pretty zombified. Just look at how yellow he is.,"Come on, Patrick, would a zombie have a picture of his best buddy in his wallet?"
"Patrick: Perhaps not, but I got my eye on you! Old Man Jenkins: If you could pull out your eye and put it on him, wouldn't that make... You a zombie too? Patrick: You're right.  I'm a zombie! Old Man Jenkins: Who's to say we're not all zombies?! Gary: Meow. All: The snail!","Gary! Are you okay, buddy? Come here, boy."
"Harold: No, don't get near it. Oh, the pity of it all! Evelyn:  I can't watch.",All those people think you're a monster. But I know you're just a snail.  Gary...  How could you?
"All: Harold: SpongeBob's been infected by his own pet snail. Oh, the irony! Quick, we must quarantine that infected snail before he bites every last Bikini Bottomite. Let's get the snail! All: Yeah!",No! Don't hurt him!
"Harold: Hand over the snail! Mr. Krabs: It's... for his own good, SpongeBob.",No! I won't let you touch Gary!
"Harold: Stop the madness, man! The Mad Snail Disease ends now! Seize the snail! Doctor Gill Gilliam: Halt! Did someone say 'Mad Snail Disease'? Is that what all this fuss is about? Patrick: Yeah. What do you know about it? Doctor Gill Gilliam: Funny you should ask. Allow me to introduce myself. Doctor Gill Gilliam. S.D.E. and S.E.",S.D.E. and S.E.?
"Doctor Gill Gilliam: Snail disease expert and snail expert. I'm sorry to break this to you all, but that 'mad snail disease' you're talking about, it doesn't exist. All: Huh? Doctor Gill Gilliam: That's right. No such thing. It's an old urban legend. A myth. Patrick: Well, does that mean we're not zombies? Doctor Gill Gilliam: Of course not. No one is. It's just mass hysteria. Nathiel: But what about my severely untrimmed... Doctor Gill Gilliam: Those are only moderately untrimmed. All the supposed symptoms are just common ailments.","Easy, boy. But what about Gary then? If he doesn't have a disease, why'd he bite all those people, including me?"
Doctor Gill Gilliam: Hmmm... mm-hmm. Ahh! The problem's right here. He's got a little splinter in his foot.  I'm sure this was the cause of his distemper making for serious grouchy snailitis.,"Oh, Gary, I knew you weren't disease-ridden. You still love me?"
Gary: Meow.,"Good ol' Gary's back.  Squidward? You're not a zombie, remember?"
"Squidward: Oh, yes I am.  Welcome to the Krusty Krab. May I take your order? Mr. Krabs: All's well that ends well. Mr. Krabs: Ow! Squidward: Well, Squidward, ol' boy, all that's left is to go win that dancing trophy and give it a home. After all, nobody ever worked harder to get it than you.  All those years of training with the masters. Your tireless effort to keep your instrument supple.  Not to mention your weekly thigh waxing.  And now, it's time to go get it. So, let's do it. Whoo...! Patrick: Tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk. Want to give me a ruling, SpongeBob?","Sorry, Squidward, you got to go lower to win."
Squidward: What? What are you two doing?,We're limbo dancing to get ready for the dance-a-thon auditions.
Patrick: We're gonna win the trophy. Squidward: Ha. The two of you? Don't make me laugh. Come here... see that? That's where the trophy's going.,"You built us a trophy case for when we win?  Oh, you are a true friend."
"Squidward: No, you twits. I built that trophy case for me when I win. I'm going to ace the tryouts today and then I'm going to the finals tomorrow and win the trophy. I am going forth to meet my destiny. Good-bye. Patrick: Ruling, SpongeBob?",I think we better raise the bar.
"SpongeBob & Patrick: Hiya, Squidward. Squidward: Oh, great. The flying Gyvonne Brothers. Just ignore them, Squidward. Female:  Contestants 51 and 52 to the stage, please.","We're up, Patrick. Wish us luck, Squidward."
Squidward: Do I know you?,"You kidder. Let's go, Patrick."
"Squidward: Poor boobs, they don't stand a chance.","Well, see you at the finals tomorrow, Squidward."
Squidward: You actually got in?,Yep.
"Squidward: Humph, if those two nitwits made it then I'm a shoo-in. Female:  Contestant 53 to the stage, please. Squidward: Look out, dancing world, here comes your future. Music, please. Judge: Next. Squidward: Excuse me? Judge: You're done. You know, next contestant. You didn't make the cut, sorry, Mac. Squidward: But, but, but, but, you don't understand. I already build a trophy case with the cutest little plaque. If I could just touch it... Judge: Hey! Squidward: But I, hey... Unhand me, you brutes. Ah! Patrick: SpongeBob?","You're just not getting into the spirit of this thing, Squidward."
"Squidward: Doh, help me up.","How'd the audition go, Squidward?"
"Squidward:  The audition? My trophy?  I mean, uh, uh, yeah, the audition.  Evidently, I'm such a great dancer that I've been banned from the competition for life. Patrick: Whoa.","Impressive.  Hey, Squidward, would you be our coach for the finals?"
"Squidward: What? I've got better thinks to do than help you two dopes. Patrick: Like polishing your empty trophy case? Squidward: Fine. But I keep the trophy when we win, deal? SpongeBob & Patrick: Deal. Squidward: Ok. Show me what you got, Patrick. Patrick: Ok, here I go. Watch me now.  Cramp! Squidward: Well, I guess that just leaves you, SpongeBob. Show me your stuff. Ready, and...  Having fun?","Yes, yes I am."
"Squidward: SpongeBob, dancing isn't supposed to be fun. It's supposed to be art and art is suffering! Now, we'll start with some ballet. Watch my feet and follow my lead. Ready, and...plié.  Relevé.  And now grand jeté.  Where am I? See if I can find the lights.  Wait a minute.  This gives me an idea.  Ready, SpongeBob?",Ready!
"Squidward: A one and a two, and...  Plié, jeté, relevé -  No, no, no. This will never work. You've got two left feet.",How'd you know?
"Squidward: Gimme those.  That's better. Ok, let's go. SpongeBob, what are you doing?  Why are you moving your arms like that?",I guess they're happy.
"Squidward: Argh, hand 'em over.  And the other one, come on.  Ah, now that's more like it.","Gee, Squidward, with your arms and legs doing all the work, I'm not really doing anything. I think I should help."
Squidward: Are you questioning my leadership.,"Well, I just..."
"Squidward: Ok, hand it over.","You know what, Squidward?"
Squidward: What's that?,I think I'm suffering for my art now.  Good gravy. Get a load of the talent here.
"Squidward: Oh, please. Just wait until you see my brilliant moves.",Oh my goodness. I am honored to be in the presence of such divine talent.
"Squidward: Quit groveling. Where is your dignity?  These losers are here to worship us. I mean me. By the end of the night I'll have them on their knees just begging for more. Female:  Now that's what I like to call a hard act to follow. Next up, we have SpongeBob SquarePants. Frank: Oh, man. I can't wait. I am so stoked on dancing right now.","Now, before I begin, let me just thank you all for coming out tonight."
Squidward: Will you stop it? And let my dancing do the talking.,"Wow, Squidward, the crowd's gone silent."
"Squidward: Of course they have. They are in the presence of a true artiste. Frank: What's he doing? Nat: Is he hurt? Nathiel: I don't know man, but it's hurting my eyes. Clay: I think I'm gonna be sick.","Uh, Squidward?"
"Squidward: Ha. If they think that's good, wait till they see...  Cramp! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Fred: Hey, guys, wait up. Huh? What's this?  That's kind of nice. Hey guys, come check this out. Squidward: Must finish dance... on other...","Um, Squidward, is this part of the act?"
"Squidward:  The pain! Judge #2: By unanimous decision, we have a winner. Squidward:  Mine!  I won, I won! Judge #2: Never before have I seen such zest, such joie de vivre.","Oh, thank you, you're too kind. But I couldn't have done it without a very special someone."
"Squidward: Wait, SpongeBob, no! Judge #2: The rulebook clearly states A single dancer must perform without any further assistance from a partner. Therefore, you're the winner. Fish #6: Oh man, the jig's up, Pedro. We're going home. Pedro: It's all right, I'll go call a taxi. Judge #2: Merciful Neptune. Are there any more cheaters? Fish #7:  Ah, crud, we're two dancers. Scottish Octopus: We're nine dancers, actually. Pilar:  Does this count? Judge #2: Isn't there a single dancer here who is not assisted by a partner? Judge: Uh, what about number 52 over there? Judge #2: Is he alone? Judge: Well, let me see.  Why, yes, he is a single dancer. Judge #2: Oh, well, then. I guess he wins.","I love your new dance, Patrick."
"Patrick: Thanks. Narrator: Epilogue. Norma: Tommy? I've got a fresh load of laundr-  Tommy! Oh! Oh, dear me, no!  Hello, it's an emergency! My son! He's- Tommy:  Mom, calm down.  I'm just doing The Cramp! Norma:  Oh, oh you kids and your crazy dance fads. Patrick: Hey, everybody, let's all do the cramp! All: Yeah! SpongeBob and Patrick: Sandy! Sandy! Sandy! Sandy! Sandy: What the?  Whoa there! Calm down! Now, tell me what happened. Patrick: SpongeBob and I are being chased by a savage beast!",And it's gonna eat us!
"Sandy: Oh, no it ain't! SpongeBob and Patrick:  There it is! Sandy:  This little guy? Why, he's just a harmless little cricket, he's a land creature just like me! The poor thing must have gotten lost. But he's not going to hurt ya. See? Sandy: Aahh, let's get you back home you little fella!  There you go! See, that wasn't nothing to be afraid of, huh guys? Sandy:  I don't have time for this, I'm late for my survival training camp.",Survival training camp?! Patrick and I love camping!
"Patrick: Can we come?! Sandy: This is ain't no ordinary camping trip, I go out into the wild, armed only with my bare hands, my quick wits, this harpoon, and 65 pounds of dynamite . Out in the wild, it's eat or be eaten. You have to be willing to do anything when you're alone in the wild. You two wouldn't last a single day!",Hey!
Patrick: Would so!,"We'll have you know that just the other day, Squidward commented at our survival skills!  The Other Day"
Squidward: You two are harder to get rid of than cockroaches!,"Thank you, Squidward!"
"Squidward:  Why aren't these things working?!  Out of the Daydream Sandy: No way, guys! This is a serious trip for hard-core survivalists only! SpongeBob and Patrick: But, Sandy...! Sandy: No! SpongeBob and Patrick: Ohhh...",Sshhh! We'll show Sandy we're tough as she is!  I guess the road smoothed out.  That was a close one Patrick! We were almost left in the wilderness... without Sandy! And nobody would have known where to find us!
Patrick: Weird. There's a door back here too?,"No, Patrick! No!  Sandy, wait! Sandy! Sandy! Well, at least we have food, shelter, and water. I'll pitch the tent while you start a campfire. Then when we're all settled, I'll cook us up some grub.  Okay Patrick, we're all set! We have fresh water, a rugged tent for shelter..."
Patrick: And a nice fire to keep us warm.,"Say, where did you get the firewood?  You burned our food supply?! Oh-no! Quick! Quick! Cover it over something!  Hey Patrick, nice job. Whew! Uh-oh, well, we burned our food, ruined our tent, and lost all our water. Patrick, we are going to need to use our razor-sharp quick wits if we're going to make it out of here alive!"
Patrick: Gotcha.,Okay. Here's the plan...
"Patrick: Oh. Whoa, whoa, whoa, no, no. You made the last decision. It's my turn.","Sure Patrick, what do you think we should do?"
"Patrick: Um...maybe,...uh...","Uh, Patrick?"
"Patrick: Oh, for crying out loud, SpongeBob, I didn't rush you when it was your turn!","Sorry, sorry, take your time."
Patrick: Uhhh...  Oh shoot! I forgot what I was going to say!,No hurry Patrick.
Patrick: Do you wanna go play hide and go-seek?,"Sure. Let's go play in that cave over there. I like it here. It's rooooooomy, and best of all, we have this cave all to ourselves."
"Strange Voice: Ahh, hoo-heeheeheeheeheehee.","Huh? Nice. We'll only stay here tonight, and head home tomorrow."
"Old Cave Fish: Home? This is your new home. You'll be here forever just like me! Patrick: Aahh, good times.",What do you mean we'll be here forever? How long have you been here?
Fish: 40 years I've been here. There's ain't no way out of this valley. You're stuck in here' with me for the rest of your lives!,We'll be here forever? We're doomed!
"Patrick: Are you kidding? That old coot's been here for years! Look at him: he's in great shape! Look at his muscular arms, his rock-hard abs, and a great complexion, why, he's glowing with health.","You're right Patrick, but what will we eat, where will we sleep?"
"Patrick: I don't know about you, but I've got all the comforts of home right here.","Patrick's right. If I'm stuck here, I should make the best of it. I'll build myself a new home.  There, just like my pineapple in Bikini Bottom...only, smaller,  comfy, safe and sound in my own little home."
"Cave Fish: Safe? You're never safe out in the wild! If I were you, I'd keep an eye on that big fella.",Patrick?  Do'h! Patrick is my best friend! He wouldn't hurt me.
"Cave Fish: He's a big boy! Just wait 'til when he gets hungry! Out here, it's eat or be eaten!","He's got the taste of flesh! Hey, Patrick."
"Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob.",Sounds like you're hungry.
Patrick: ...cake. I was just going to share my golden sponge cake with him. It has delicious cream filling too!,It's all true! Patrick is going to eat me! What should I do?
Cave Fish: You've got to protect yourself! What you need is a fort!,"This mud replica of the Krusty Krab should protect me from that fiend Patrick!  He's onto me! Must hide! . Ha,ha, I'm safe, Patrick can't get me in here, , I don't need to go outside, I have everything I need right here!  Spatula.  Now I just need some buns.  Oh, crunchy.  I can't take it!  I need some real food!"
"Cave Fish: Remember, kid, it's eat or be eaten.",Yyyess! Yyeess! I shall eat Patrick before he eats meee!
"Patrick: Something smells good. What are you cooking, SpongeBob?",I'm gonna cook you up and eat ya!
Patrick:  Why do you want to eat me?,"I know what you're doing, you're playing dumb, but it won't work, because I'm going to eat you before you eat me!"
"Patrick: Well, not if I eat you first!","Oh, no you don't!  Where'd he go? Come on out, Patrick. You can't hide forever! What's this?  Warm water?"
"Patrick: You seemed kinda tense, so I drew you a hot bath.","Ah, thanks, Patrick! I did get a trifle unhinged, didn't I?"
"Patrick: Oops, I forgot the bathbeads!","Thanks, Patrick! You're a real pal!  Funny looking bathbeads. They almost look like carrots. Carrots?! You're making soup out of me!"
Patrick: I was not! It was supposed to be stew!  Whew! I'm getting tired.,"Why don't you take a nap on this nice, soft bed?  There, that's it. Here, I'll tuck you in with this nice soft blanket , and what's a little blanket without a little ketchup?"
Patrick: This isn't a bed!,Wait! Come back! You're not properly seasoned!
Patrick: Give me that ketchup back!,No! Gotcha!
"Patrick: No, got you!",I got you!
Cave Fish: Congratulations! You did it!,Did what?
"Patrick: What? Cave Fish: Why, earned your survivalist medals, a'course! Only a hardcore survivalist would break down and nearly eat his best pal! Patrick: Why do you care if we're survivalists? Cave Fish:  Cause I'm not just some old hermit. Sandy: I'm  Sandy Cheeks! Survivalist extraordinaire! SpongeBob and Patrick: Sandy? Sandy: It weren't no accident that you fell out of my truck, I was just testing your survival skills. SpongeBob and Patrick: You planned this? Sandy: Yup. And I'm happy to say you both passed! Here's your survivalist medals!","Wow! It's great that we've won our medals, but I'm still hungry."
"Patrick: Me too. Sandy: Guys? What'cha doing? Aah, fellas? SpongeBob and Patrick: Eat or be eaten! Sandy: Uh-oh! Next time, I'll bring more granola! Squidward: I thought I told that kid not to put the organic sea cucumber on top of the free range anemones! Well, at least my flowers survived the trip.  SpongeBob, would you please find your own flowers to sniff?!","What about Patrick? Does he have to find his own flowers, too?"
"Squidward: What are you talking about, nitwit? He doesn't even have a nose! Patrick: Of course I have a nose, Squidward. Why, it's as plain as the nose on my...  ...face?  You're right, Squidward! Squidward: My floors! Think fast, Squiddy. I've got your nose. Patrick: You do? Squidward: Yeah. I've got it...  ...right here. Patrick: Give me! Give it here! Squidward: If you want it, you gotta go get it. Patrick: There!  Well, SpongeBob, what do you think of my new nose?","Patrick, that's not a nose, that's a...  ...hermit crab."
Patrick: I guess I'll always be a noseless freak.,It's not so abnormal to be noseless. Just look around. Lots of fish don't have noses.
"Patrick: Yeah, but all my friends have noses. You, Squidward, Sandy, even Mr. Krabs! Mr. Krabs: There you are!","Well, Patrick, if you're so concerned about not having a nose, why don't you just get a new one stitched on to your face?"
"Patrick: I can do that? Surgeon: Well, what do you think? Patrick: Sorry, doc. I don't really think it's me. Surgeon: That's a-okay. That's cool. As lead surgeon here, I take a hypothetical oath. Which means I will not stop, I will not rest, I will not cut a single toenail, until the customer is 100% satisfied! So please, browse our extensive wall of noses! And I will patiently await your final decision. Patrick: Okay! Let's see. Hmm. Surgeon: Excellent choice!","All right, Patrick, let's unveil the new schnoze!"
"Patrick: Wait, stop, careful, SpongeBob! This fragile stitching requires tender care. Allow me to carefully remove the bandages.","There it is, Patrick! Your brand new sniffer! Looking good buddy!  Well, I've gotta go to work now. Have fun with your new nose."
"Patrick: I will! Now, how do I use this thing?  What is that smell?  Pastries? I never knew they smelled so good! Fred: Well, I guess I won't be eating those. Squidward: Let's see Patrick destroy these. Patrick: All these years I knew I was missing out on something, but I never thought smelling could be this good!  What is that horrible smell?  Onion rings?  The scent! Nobody told me about bad smells!  What is it now?  I'm going to have to re-think this whole smelling thing.  I made it. At least here at home, I can't be attacked by those wretched odors.  Bad smells are all around me!  I cannot live in these conditions! Narrator: 48 hours later...","Hiya, Patrick. How... Whoa! Hey, looking good."
"Patrick: Oh, the smells! They're everywhere! It's unbearable! Squidward: What's wrong with the pinhead? Patrick: Oh, it's another one! No! I can't take it! Squidward: Where do you think you're going? Patrick: To do what should have been done long ago. , then screams] Sweet Neptune, imported cheese!  This is inexcusable!  Yuck! Squidward: What are you doing with my cheese? Patrick: It's rotten garbage now.  That's better. Squidward: That was my cheese. It's supposed to smell like that, kelp for brains! Patrick: You are sick, Squidward.  Bad smell again!","1, 2, 3, 4...  Come on, SquarePants, be a man!"
Patrick: You!,"Patrick, help!"
"Patrick:  Oh, I'll help you, all right! Help stop you from polluting our world with your sweaty holes.  There.",I can't work at the Krusty Krab looking like this. I'm out of uniform.
"Patrick: Well, you can't go to work smelling like that. You should be thanking me, SpongeBob.  Smells like... something greasy.  Nobody moves! I am ridding this place of its disgusting stench with these scented candles! Fred:  My mouth can't take these conflicting flavors! Agh! Patrick: This air freshener should finish the job. Mr. Krabs: What the barnacles do you think you're doing?! You're chasing away all me customers! Patrick: Well, good! No one should have to eat in this stench! Mr. Krabs:  What?! Why, I got a good mind to... Patrick: Say no more, you can thank me later. Right now, I've got many more stink holes to swab clean. Mr. Krabs: Oh, that new honker of his has turned him into a complete jerk! Sandy: Hiya, Pat. Patrick: Take a bath, fleabag! Mr. Krabs: I've asked you all here because we all face a similar problem. The problem bein' a sea star with a nose that's gotten way out of hand! Squidward: You got that right, yeah! Sandy: Yeah! Mr. Krabs: Now what I want to know is, are we going to do something about it!? Squidward: You bet we're gonna do, yeah! Sandy: Yeah, sure are! Squidward: Let's give him what for! Sandy: Let's hogtie him and run him out of town on a rail!","Come on, SpongeBob, be a man!  Mr. Krabs?"
"Mr. Krabs: Not now boy! We're in the middle of a public listen! That no-good, nose-flartin...",It is not Patrick's fault!
All: Huh?,"It's the new nose that has betrayed us. My grandma SquarePants always says, punish the nose, not the man. But we're going to need something foul, something beyond foul, a stench that will blow the socks off his fungus-infested socks!  Okay, this should be stinky enough. I've gathered every sweaty sock, moldy pizza, and rotten piece of fruit in Bikini Bottom.  With a little raw sewage for good measure."
Mr. Krabs: Ata' boy! Now for the moment of truth!,"Yes, sir!"
Patrick: Hello.  No!  All I wanted was to be able to smell like the rest of you.,"Here lies the nose of Patrick Star. R.I.P.  Well, this is terrible! All Patrick wanted was to be like the rest of us, and we punished him for it."
Squidward: Who cares? At least now that pink moron will leave us alone. Patrick: I heard that!,Order up!
"Squidward:  Here. Baby/Plankton:  Goo! Harold:  Hey, there. Baby/Plankton:  Num, num! Harold: Aw, does baby want a Krabby Patty, hmm? Fish #2: Awww.",Baby's first Krabby Patty.
"Mr. Krabs:  That diabolical fiend! Plankton:  I can't believe this is working! It's like taking candy from a baby — with a baby. Mr. Krabs:  Stop right there, you thievin' infant!",Yi-eeh! That's harsh.
"Mr. Krabs: So you thought you could pull a fast one, eh?  Now, come out of there, you little pest! Fish #3:  What's he doing? You leave that poor baby alone! Mr. Krabs: Okay. I guess we're gonna have to do this the hard way.","Mr. Krabs, no! Don't do it!"
"Harold:  Ooh! Oh... Fish #3: Oh! Mr. Krabs: Oh, calm down! It's just Plankton.  See? Plankton: Uh... goo-goo? Fish #1: How dare you! You toyed with our emotions! Plankton: Ow. Mr. Krabs: Face it, Plankton. You're never gonna win. I'll always be one step... ahead.  Now, why don't you go back to where you came from, you little brat? Mr. Krabs: Uh-oh. Three Fish: You monster! How dare you! Karen: Aww, diddums failed to get a Krabby Patty again? Plankton:  Stop patronizing me! Why does every single plan fall apart? It's just a stupid sandwich! I tell you, it's wearing me down! Karen: You need to stop obsessing over it.  Relax. Get a hobby or something. Plankton: I hate to admit it, computer wife, but you're probably right. I need something to take my mind off that blasted secret formula for a while.  But what? Karen: I know. How about taking care of an inferior life-form? Plankton: You mean a pet? That's a great idea! But how will I find a pet that fits my dynamic personality?",Plankton!  I have the perfect solution to your problem.
Plankton: SpongeBob? How could you possibly help me?,You should try the local animal shelter. That's where I found my Gary.
"Plankton: Oh, yeah? Perhaps you're on to something there.","Here it is. The Bikini Bottom Animal Shelter.  Your perfect pet awaits. Now, if you just listen to your heart, you'll be able to pick out the right pet as soon as you see it."
"Plankton: Hmm. Too big.  Too sloppy. Patrick: Duh... Plankton:  Too stupid. Patrick: Hi, SpongeBob.","Hey, Patrick.  Oh! Oh! What about this one?"
"Plankton: Are you kidding me? Algae on a rock? I want a pet, not a plant. It's no use.  There's nothing for me here.","Oh, no! Plankton!"
"Plankton: You know, I can't say I'm surprised. Plankton:  Hey there, little guy.  Looks like we have a winner!","Oh, so cute! Whatcha gonna call him? He looks like a Spot to me."
"Plankton: That name provokes a violent reaction. Spot it is! Plankton: Well, Spot, I'm your new owner, so shower me with love and affection.  Karen, it's not giving me unconditional love. I think it's defective. Karen: You're gonna have to train him to do that. Plankton: I train him?  I'll give it a shot. All right, Spot. Let's start with something easy. Stay.  Good boy. Now sit.  Very good! Now roll over.  Excellent! Now shake.  Wow! That's one mean shake you got there. I think we should burn off some of that extra energy. Would you like to go walkies?  I'll assume that's a yes.  March!  Phew. We must've walked for miles.  I guess our legs are too short for walkies. How about a nice round of fetch?  Fetch!  Oh no. What have I done? I'm a terrible pet owner! Terrible! Karen! We're gonna need another Spot!  Nice rebound, Spot! You know, I get squished a lot too.  I hope nobody saw that emotional outburst. Three Fish: Aww! Plankton: Shoo! Plankton: Okay, Spot. Today, you'll learn how to be an attack pet to guard the Chum Bucket from intruders. Now, Spot, pretend I'm a burglar.  Attack!  You're not getting this? Come at me! Uh-oh... losing balance!  A little help?  On second thought, what do I need a guard dog for? I can't even give chum away. What I really need is a retriever.  This is your target. I want you to retrieve the Krabby Patty. Now, security is tight, so I've devised a pl--  Wait! Where are you going? You're not ready! Fish #1: I'd like a large...  What was that? Squidward: Didn't see it, don't care. Plankton: Holy plot twist! It's a Krabby Patty! It's... a miracle!  Karen, look at what Spot brought home! Karen: That's wonderful! Spot deserves a reward. Plankton: He can have anything he wants, up to half my kingdom – uh, laboratory. Karen: I think he wants your Krabby Patty. Plankton:  No! No! You've been a very bad amoeba! Bad amoeba! I'm afraid you'll have to be punished! You need a time out. I'm just gonna tie you up out here until you learn to behave!  Shouldn't take more than five minutes.  Aww... no, no, I must be strong!  I can't do it!  Spot, I'm sorry! I —  Spot! He's gone!  Where is he? Spot! Come back!  Spot! Come back! Spot! Come back! I've got to find him! Three Fish: Awww! Plankton: Don't any of you have jobs?  Spot! Spot! Where are you, Spot?","Why, Plankton, what's wrong?"
Plankton: I lost Spot.,"That's terrible! Gary lost me once.  I was cold, alone, starving. It was the worst eight minutes of my life. Come on, Plankton, let's find your pet. Lost pet! Anyone seen this lost pet?  Lost pet emergency! Be on the lookout for a lost pet! Pardon me, sir.  Have you seen this amoeba?"
Fish #2: You mean that little speck?,No. That little speck.
"Fish #2: Is this him? Plankton: No, that's a piece of gum. Fish #2: Gum?  I've been looking everywhere for this!  If I was lookin' for a lost pet, I'd try the animal shelter. Plankton: Of course! SpongeBob and Plankton: The shelter!","I think it's closed for the night.  Ooh, it's dark in here. I'll find a light switch. Aha!  Nope, that's not it.  Aha! Found the lights."
"Plankton: Uh, SpongeBob? What was the first switch for?",I don't know. I think it unlocks the pens?
Plankton: I thought so. Because now the animals are loose!   SpongeBob?,Run for it?
Plankton: Yep.,I think we lost 'em.
"Plankton: SpongeBob, before we're torn to shreds, I'd like to thank you for helping me look for Spot.","Aw, it was nothing. Hey, speaking of Spot. Did you always have a double pupil?"
"Plankton: A double what?  Spot!  Thank entropy you're safe! You were hiding on my optical cornea the whole time! You sneaky little amoeba, you.","Aw, I'm glad you found Spot.  Unfortunately, the animals found us too."
"Plankton: Good-bye, Spot. I guess this is the end of the road for us.  Spot, no!","Wow, Spot! You saved us!"
"Plankton: I taught him everything he knows! Mr. Krabs: ♪Counting me money, money sweeter than honey, money, money, this, money, money, that, profit will make me wallet fat!♪ Mr. Krabs: What?! Profits down three dollars from last month! I got to start running a tighter ship around here! Squidward: Thank you for choosing the Krusty Krab. Here's your change. Mr. Krabs: Mr. Squidward! Squidward: What? Mr. Krabs: What's with all this change nonsense?","Over and under, grab the end, put it through here, up and around, round the horn, bring it back home."
"Mr. Krabs: Hmm? SpongeBob! I ain't paying you to play dress up!  Breathe on your own time. I don't pay you to breathe. Squidward: You hardly pay us at all. Mr. Krabs: Oh, that reminds me. I got something for you. Squidward: Ah, yes! Our meager restitution.  Ah, the sweet smell of payday.  Huh? Mr. Krabs: Oh, sorry, that's me dry cleaning.  Here's your check. Mr. Krabs: And here's yours, SpongeBob.","I can't accept your money, Mr. Krabs.  Grilling is my passion."
"Squidward: What is this!?!  You're making me pay you to stand at the cash register? What is the meaning of this? Have you gone off the deep end? Mr. Krabs: There's going to be a few changes around here. Every time I catch you two goofing off, I'm gonna charge you for it.","18... 19... and... 20. Here you go, Mr. K. I think this should cover all my nonsense. Oh, and here's an extra fifty cents for when I was tying my shoe."
"Squidward: Uh, SpongeBob? What do you think you're doing?",I'm just giving Mr. Krabs the money I owe him.
"Squidward: Well, I'm not paying that cheapskate Krabs one cent, and I suggest you do the same.",Why?
"Squidward: We've got to unite as workers and demand the respect we deserve from the boss! In fact, you and I should go on strike!",Wow! You and me go on strike?
"Squidward: Sure! After all, you like your job, right?",Right!
"Squidward: And you want to keep working here, right?",Right!
"Squidward: And while you work here, you expect to be treated fairly, right?",Right!
Squidward: Then let's go on strike!,"Yay! A strike!  ♪Goin' on a strike! We’re goin' on a strike!♪ I still don't know what a strike means. ♪But we're goin' on a strike!♪  Hey, guess what, Mr. Krabs? Me and Squidward are going to go on strike!"
Mr. Krabs: A strike?,Yeah.
Mr. Krabs: You mean you're going to make picket signs?,Yeah.
Mr. Krabs: And you're going to make protest speeches?,"Yeah, yeah!"
Mr. Krabs: And you're going to demand me respect?,"Yeah!  Noo...  No! Squidward! You didn't tell me I was gonna get fired! Without the Krusty Krab, I-I-I...  Oh, Squidward, could you hold me? I think I'm gonna be sick."
"Squidward: SpongeBob!  News flash, SpongeBob! I got fired, too!  This is exactly why we need to go on strike.  He can't treat us like this anymore!  He owes us for all the precious, irretrievable moments we've wasted in this trash heap.  Soon, he'll realize he needs us more than we need him. We are workers united!  Ahem.",Sorry.
"Squidward: Just do exactly as I say, SpongeBob, and in no time, you'll have your job back and more.",And more?
"Squidward: Alright, SpongeBob, now listen up. I'm going to have to teach you how to strike. First, we must get rid of our uniforms,  they are a symbol of our oppression. I want you to throw your hat on the ground like so.  Now, stomp it into the dust! Your turn, SpongeBob.  That's the idea. Now, throw it on the ground.","I can't do it, Squidward! This hat is my friend! It never oppressed me."
"Squidward: SpongeBob, you're pathetic! Look, I threw my hat to the ground. Officer John: Aha! A confession! Next time, think before you litter. Squidward: Okay, pay attention, SpongeBob. Now we're going to make picket signs. This is a very important part of striking.","Like this, Squidward?"
"Squidward: Not a picket fence, you ding-dong. Picket sign!",How's this?
"Squidward: ...No.  This is a picket sign: Krusty Krab Unfair. Short, sweet, and to the point.","How about this, Squidward?"
"Squidward: SpongeBob, it's unfair, not funfair! Sandals: A funfair? Where? I could go for some fun.",At the Krusty Krab.
"Sandals: Hey, everybody! Let's go to the fun fair!",Krusty Krab is unfair! Mr. Krabs is in there! Standing at the concession! Plotting his oppression!
Teenage Fry Cook: What the heck does that mean?,I don't know. Squidward told me to yell it at people.
Teenage Fry Cook: Then you must be SpongeBob SquarePants!,Yep!
"Teenage Fry Cook: Dude, you are like a fry cook legend! Will you sign my spatula?","Anything for an aspiring fry cook.  So, did you come down to help out the cause?"
"Teenage Fry Cook: No, I came to take your job. Teenage Fry Cook: Hey, thanks, dude! Squidward: Attention, SpongeBob! You are a terrible striker!  You just let your replacement cross our picket line without so much as a single threat.","I'm sorry, Squidward.  How about I try the signs again?"
Squidward:  Forget the signs! I've got something for you to do. Go stand over there.,"Like this, Squidward?"
"Squidward: Almost. A little more to the right. And... perfect.  Attention, people of Bikini Bottom! You have been cheated and lied to! Miss Shell: I knew it! Squidward: The gentle laborer shall no longer suffer from the noxious greed of Mr. Krabs! Archie: Hey, what's that guy talking about? Francis: I don't know, but he's got a megaphone. Squidward: We will dismantle oppression board by board! We'll saw the foundation of big business in half, even if it takes an eternity!","Gee, I don't know what Squidward's talking about, but he sure sounds convincing."
"Squidward: With your support, we will send the hammer of the people's will crashing through the windows of Mr. Krabs' house of servitude! Billy (lime fish): Wow, all this supporting is making me hungry. Sandals: Hey, everybody! Let's go get a Krabby Patty. Squidward: Nobody gives a care about the fate of labor as long as they can get their instant gratification.","That was a great speech, Squidward. You practically had them eating out of your hands."
"Mr. Krabs: But they didn't, did they, Mr. Squidward? 'Cause they were too busy eating out of mine. I wish you two had gone on strike earlier. Thanks for attracting all these paying customers with all your signage and your sloganeering!","Alright, Mr. Krabs. You've gone too far this time. You can pick on me, but Squidward is a great leader. We are workers united! We're tired of your smelly greed! And we're gonna saw all your tables, and we're gonna smash stuff with the people's hammer. And we're gonna... we're gonna... um... Squidward, what was that other part?"
Squidward: Dismantle your oppressive establishment?,"Yeah, that, too! And me and Squidward are gonna stay on strike until we get what we deserve! Even if it takes forever!"
Squidward: On strike with SpongeBob... forever?!,"Hey, Squidward. I bet old man Krabs is gonna break any day.  Eh, Squidward? Eh, Squidward?  Nyeh, Squidward? Nyeh, Squidward?  Nyeh, Squidward? Nyeh, Squidward?"
"Squidward: I gotta beg Mr. Krabs for my job back and put an end to this nightmare! Mr. Krabs: Oh! Uh, evening, Mr. Squidward. Uh... I was just in the neighborhood and I, uh... thought I'd drop by to... beg you to come back to work! The Krusty Krab is a wreck! I'm ruined without you and the little yellow guy.  The teenagers I hired is ruining the place! And the worst part is, they won't leave me alone! Teenagers: Alright, Mr. Krabs! Mr. Krabs: See what I mean?  Squidward, please! You gotta come back! Squidward: You'll give us anything we want? Mr. Krabs: Yes, anything. So what do you say, Mr. Squidward? Squidward: Your story breaks my heart, Mr. Krabs. Why don't we take a little walk and, uh... discuss my terms? Mr. Krabs: I got a bad feeling in the pit of me wallet.","Gee, being on strike with Squidward sure is a kick. Squidward's words are still buzzing around in my head like an angry jellyfish. Squidward was right! I can't just sit here, it's time for action!  I will restore the working man to his rightful glory. I will dismantle this oppressive establishment board by board!  I will saw the tables of tyranny in half. Gnaw at the ankles of big business!  Squidward will be so proud!"
"Mr. Krabs: Well, Squidward, those were intense negotiations. Squidward: I'm glad you saw it our way, Mr. Krabs. Mr. Krabs: Now I can fire them teenagers and get me two golden boys back. Well, see you at work! Squidward: S-Sp-SpongeBob! W-W-What have you done?","I did exactly as you said, Squidward. I dismantled the establishment! Now we'll get our jobs back for sure."
"Mr. Krabs: Squidward! SpongeBob! Both: Yes, Mr. Krabs?",Here it comes!
"Mr. Krabs: In order to pay off these damages, you two are gonna work for me forever!","Ya-hoo! The strike worked, Squidward! We got our jobs back! Forever!"
"Narrator: One eternity later... Karen: Greetings, children of Bikini Bottom. I am Karen the Computer Fairy.  And I have a magic tale to tell.  Once upon a time, there was a dim-witted sea star  who was about to stuff his fat face. Plankton: Hee, hee, hee. That idiot has such a huge pile of patties. I don't think he'll notice if one walks away. Patrick: Aw, I need more ketchup. Plankton: Hmm… which patty to choose? This one? Nope. Too small.  This one? Nope. Been chewed.  This one? Nope. The seeds are missing. Hmm... Plankton: Ow! Stand up, you moron! Plankton: Get me an ice pack, you idiot! Patrick: Where are you, Voice?  Where are you?","Uh, Patrick?"
"Patrick:  Oh, it's you, SpongeBob. I thought you were this crazy voice who keeps telling me what to do.","Oh, that's probably your conscience."
Patrick: What are conscience? Are they bad?,No. A conscience is a tiny voice inside you that tells you the difference between something that's right and something  that's wrong.
"Patrick: So, I should do what the voice tells me to do?",Now that's a smart little sea star.
"Plankton: Patrick, this is your conscience speaking. Patrick: Huh?  Oh.  Nice to meet you, Conscience. Plankton:  So stupid. So, Stupid, the first thing you need to do is buy some more Krabby Patties on the double. Hi-yah! Hey-yo! Patrick: That'll be the first thing I do, Conscience! Plankton: Yes! Patrick: Right after I run some errands. Plankton: Huh?  No!  I'm calling the shots here. Now, get that Krabby Patty! Patrick: I—I—It's just a little list! Please, Conscience? Plankton: Alright, Pea-Brain. Make it quick. Patrick: Number 1: High-five everyone!  Huh! Plankton: No, put me down first! Patrick: High-five!  High-five!  Low-five!  High-five!  High-five!  High-five!  High-five!  High-five! Patrick: Number 2: Ice cream! Yeah!  One double chocolate molar blowout, please. Goofy Goober waiter: One molar blowout, coming up! Plankton: No!  You hate ice cream. You only want Krabby Patties.  Hey you! Cancel that order! Patrick:  Ow. You hate high-fives and ice cream? Are you sure you're my conscience? Plankton: I, uh, I'm absolutely positively your conscience. Patrick: Hey, doesn't your nose grow when you tell lies in fairy tales? Plankton: Nope. Noses only grow when you make up the truth.  See? Patrick: Ah-ha-ha! Oh, oh, I wanna make up the truth, too! Uh, I ate a hot air balloon for breakfast.  I—I—I mean, um, I did not eat a hot air balloon for breakfast.  Hey! I got a big nose too! Nose fight! En garde! Children: Uh-oh. Goofy Goober waiter: Hooray! Children: Uh-oh. Patrick and Plankton: Sorry. Plankton: Time to let your conscience be your guide. Give me that list!  Here! Patrick: Hey, only one errand left!  Gotta give Plankton a Krabby Patty! Plankton:  Oh, yeah! Yeah! Patrick: I wonder why I wanted to give Plankton a patty? Plankton: Why not Plankton? He's a sweetheart.  And as your conscience, I demand you toss that patty in the mail slot! Patrick: Oh, I love mail slot toss! Plankton: Not so hard!  Huh? Pearl: I've been wanting to hit the beach all week. Pearl and her friends: Goo Lagoon! Goo Lagoon! Plankton: Huh?  Ah-ha! Patrick, please promptly pursue Plankton's patty!  Get the idea? Patrick: Uh, uh. Plankton: How many plankton does it take to change a lightbulb?  One. Patrick:  Huh? Now I get the idea! Whoo!  Gotta follow that patty! Plankton: Wait for me, you pink pinhead! Fred: Ow! Hey, watch it! Plankton: There's Blubber Mouth. Patrick: There's Plankton's patty! Plankton: You know what to do. Patrick: Do I?  Oh yeah! Plankton:  Oh, well. No patty for Plankton. Patrick: Huh! I'm going in! Hi-yah! Plankton: Ugh. Just being near a whale's mouth gives me the creeps.  Quiet, you fool! You'll wake up Pearl. Patrick: This is snug. Plankton: Mother always said I'd end up in a whale's belly. Or prison. Geppetto: Hey! Who-a goes-a there? Patrick: Who goes where? Geppetto:  The name's-a Geppetto. Take off your hats and stay a while. Plankton: We don't have time for a visit, old man. We're just trying to find a sandwich. Geppetto: Sandwich? No, I haven't seen anything like that around-a here in months. Patrick: Hey, Geppetto, what's that behind your back? Plankton: Is that our Krabby Patty? Geppetto: Nope.  Oh! Plankton:  Ah-ha! I got the patty! Patrick:  Ah-ha! I got the wig! Geppetto:  Son, they're-a stealing our food! Pinocchio: Who's stealing our food, Pop? Let me at 'em! Let me at 'em! Geppetto: Get 'em, Pinocchio! Pearl: Oh, no. A stomach ache at the beach? That's no fun! I wish it would go away. Karen: Your wish is granted. Hold out your hand! Pearl: Wow! What is this? Karen: For fast relief of indigestion, try Gush and Flush. And wash your pain down the drain.  And my stupid husband, while you're at it. Pearl:  Ah. Pearl: Thank you, Extra Strength Gush and Flush! Geppetto: Pinocchio, we're-a free-a! Free-a! Plankton: Huh?  Don't worry about the patty, Patrick. I'll take it to Plankton myself, like a good little conscience.  See ya! Patrick's conscience: Oh, uh, hey, Patrick. Patrick: Eh, my conscience? Plankton: Your wha? Patrick's conscience: Yep, I'm Patrick's conscience. But I overslept. Patrick: Well, if you're my conscience conscience, then who's that? Patrick's conscience: It's a bug! Step on it! Karen: And they all lived happily ever after. So, until next time, this is— Plankton: Karen! Karen: The Computer Fairy hoping all your dreams come true. Pinocchio:  Let me at 'em, Pop! Let me at 'em! Let me at 'em! Let me— Pinocchio: Ow. Squidward:  Ah, yes, just how I like it... nice and empty. Old Man Walker:  Hey, I'm still here. Squidward: Oh, yes, sirree—nice and empty. Jimmy: Do you work here? Squidward:  Welcome to the Krusty-- Wha-What the!  Well, there goes my nap. Multiple orders up! Sponge... Bob! SpongeBob! Where are you?! You need to get out here and make those Krabby Patties.  SpongeBob!  Get it together, SpongeBob. The dining room is full of ravenous customers.",I got it.
"Squidward: Hmm, what was that imbecile doing in there?  An old book?",Nothing.
"Squidward: What's going on here? Customers: Thank you! Old Man Walker: Excuse me. I wanted pickles on mine. Squidward: Hmmm.  If SpongeBrain is keeping the book away from me, then I have no choice but to read it.","I'll take that, thank you."
"Squidward:  There he goes again, scribbling away in that little book.  I must admit, my curiosity is peaked... I guess I'm peaked to peek at that book.  Oh, puns. Old Man Walker:  Ha. Squidward:  Hey, SpongeBob, you need to make a delivery.",Okie-dokie!
Squidward: The address is on the bag.,I got it.
"Squidward:  It's a diary! Oh-ho-ho. This is gonna be good. Huh? Drat, it's locked.  Hmm. I need a hairpin.  And now... the diary of a moron.","Dear diary, what an amazing day I've...  ...day I've had.  This morning I was greeted by my nearest and dearest neighbor, Squidward.  He had some very important news he was just bursting to share.  He had decided that today would be the perfect day to deliver his profound opinions on how to properly raise and care for a household pet.  Specifically, what not to feed them.  The list was very thorough.  Needless to say, this is all very enlightening.  It warms my heart to know that Squidward thinks we're close enough to use the harshest words in his critique--  Horrible words that should never be used around strangers, who may now know how well-intentioned those words are.  Knowing I have a tendency to dawdle, Gary cut our conversation short.  And I was hurried along to work, where I arrived only a hour and a half early for what may be my favorite day of the year,  cleaning day!  Together, Mr. Krabs and I scrubbed every inch of the Krusty Krab,  and finally, with a little elbow grease, we were able to get into even the tightest spots.  Ah yes, cleaning day."
"Squidward: Great Neptune, I had no idea. The depth of his delusion is awe inspiring.","Well, I don't know. Something about this delivery address doesn't seem right.  Wait a minute. Squidward! He must have been the victim of a prank phone call. Poor Squidward. He can be so gullible."
"Patrick:  Oh, boy!  A ketchup packet! That'll go great on this old diaper.","Oh, Squidward! You are gonna laugh when you hear what I've... been.  Squidward? Where are you? Could have sworn I just saw him."
"Squidward:  SpongeBob, uh, one of the customers dropped his watch in a toilet, and I need you to fish it out.",Duty calls.
"Customer #2: You laughing at me? Squidward: What? Oh, no. No, no, no. I was just reading what SpongeBob wrote in his diary. It's hilarious. Customer #2: Reading somebody else's diary—that's terrible! Tell me more! Squidward: It says here, when SpongeBob sees plaid, he has the uncontrollable urge to cluck like a chicken. Mr. Krabs:  Did somebody say plaid? Why I'm a plaid enthusiast.  I just got me new kilt today. Squidward: Oh, SpongeBob. Can you come here, please?",I couldn't find that watch anywhere. All I found was this stuff--
Old Man Walker: I fell in.,And that guy.
Squidward: What do you think of Mr. Krabs' new plaid kilt?,P-p-p-p-plaid?
"Old Man Walker: Hey! Mr. Krabs: Well, you don't have to be nasty about it!","Avert your eyes, SquarePants.  I have to take my break!"
"Squidward:  Listen to this — SpongeBob has named his spatula Fifi. Henry-Bart: He named his spatula Fifi. Nat: He named his spatula Fifi.  What kind of name is Fifi? Patrick:  Who ever heard of naming a spatula Fifi? It's a girl's name! Right, Frank?","I'm back from my break. Any orders, Squidward?"
"Patrick: Yeah, cook me up a Krabby Patty... with good old Fifi.","Oh, sure thing.  Fifi, how did Patrick know your name? Have you been talking?"
"Squidward: Oh, oh, this is the best one yet. Get this: If I hear the Bikini Bottom Municipal Anthem, I can't help but take off all my clothes and dance around in my underwear!  Quiet, quiet, quiet. Watch this.",My... Diary! Squidward! How could you?!
"Nat: That was that little dude's diary? Customers:  That is not okay. That was uncool. Mr. Krabs: That's low, Squidward... even for you. You'd better apologize. Squidward:  He'll get over it. Newspaper Boy: Extra, extra, read all about it! Jerk reads the diary, local fry cook devastated. Squidward: Oh, boy, let me see one of those papers. Uh-huh, mm-hm.  Taxi! Driver: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold it, pal. You're that diary reader. Squidward: Yes, I am. Abigail-Marge: Diary thief! Sandals: Jerk! John: Secret stealer! Sadie: Billy, stay away from that mean, old diary reader. Squidward: Morons. Quincy: Squidward Tentacles, by reading another person's diary, you have violated the terms of your loan.  We are repossessing your house. Squidward:  What? Quincy: Take it away, boys! Squidward: Ow! Officer Nancy:  Hey, you can't sleep here, fella.  Wait a second, you're that diary reader! I had a diary once. My brother read it! I had a brother once! Come on, fella! We have a special place for people like you! Patrick: Diary reader! Squidward: What!? You read it, too! Patrick: Oh, sure, blame everyone but yourself. Oh, that is so you.","Hi, Squidward. How's it going?"
"Squidward: SpongeBob, oh, thank goodness. You have to forgive me.",What for?
Squidward: For reading your diary.,"Oh, that. You know, Squidward, everyone was so amused by it, I had it published. It's a best seller, and I owe it all to you.  Besides, you only read my work diary. You've never even seen my secret personal diary.  Now, that would have been really embarrassing."
Nat: There he is! That diary reader!  Let's get him! Crowd: Yeah!,"People, people. Stop your assault. Through my art, as an author, I have forgiven Squidward."
"Nat: Oh yeah, did you know he's reading your personal diary?",Squidward! How could you?!
"Squidward: I don't care. This is so worth it! Shubie: I wish to register a complaint! Squidward:  An urchin!! Shubie: Yuck! Squidward: Hey, lady, take your infested-patty with you! Okay, no need to panic, Squidward. It's just a puny urchin. Everything's gonna be fine as long as you... Smash it! Smash it! Smash it!  Whew!","Squidward, I'm surprised at you. That little urchin wasn't hurting anyone.  He's still one of Neptune's creatures. No matter how small he is.  This is where the magic happens, little urchin. First, we turn up the heat, but don't make it too hot.  Would you like to see a menu, Monsieur?  Ow! Okay, little guy, see you later.  Good thing he is a little guy. Ouch. What the shrimp?  Hey, what's going on here?  Whoa! That's too hot!  Whooaaa!!!  Wow.  Oops. I steamed myself tiny. Whoo-hoo! I steamed myself tiny! Whoo!  This place is huge!  My spatula's huge! And just look at the size of my grill. It's huge!  Ow! Ow! Come on, flip! Whoa! Uh-oh. The grill blew out. Well,  it isn't gonna fix itself.  That's one small step for SpongeBob, one giant leap for—  Whee!!  Whoa!  Bob.  Whew!  Whoa! What is that? Hey, it's my little urchin friend. Aww, hey, little guy, don't cry. Your old pal, WheeBob, will get ya outta there. Little urchin, you are free to go! You okay? Yeouch! Sorry little guy!  Whoa! Whoo! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Follow the pipes to freedom, little guy! I'll never forget you.  Really.  Ow! What is all that noise?"
Squidward:  One Krabby Patty!,Comin' right up!
"Squidward: Urchin?!  Smash it! Smash it! Smash it! Mr. Krabs: Ah-ha!  You're gettin' sloppy, Plankton. Squidward almost squashed ya.  Back to the bucket with ya!","No! No, Mr. Krabs! It's meeee!!!!  Whoa-ho! Ooh!  That tickles."
"Karen: Well, SpongeBob SquarePants, it looks like you lost a little weight.","Oh, hi, Karen. Where's Plankton?"
Karen: You landed on him.,"Hi, Plankton!"
Plankton: SpongeBoob? Why are you so small? Is this a trick? Karen: Calm down. He's clean. I frisked him.,"I didn't mean to get small like you, Plankton. It was a freak accident."
"Plankton: Huh? Who are you callin' a freak?! Wait a second.  Hold this.  You're not small like me, Shorty! I am a towering half-a-millimeter taller than you!  I win!",Hooray!  I'll get that.
Plankton: Don't touch that!,Oops.
"Plankton:  Get him outta here, Karen! Karen: Way ahead of ya, Chief. Kid #1: Cool! Kid #1:  Ha, ha! I've found an action figure! Kid #2: Whoa! I saw it first! Kid #3: No, I did! Kid #1: Finders keepers!",Whoa!!
Kid #2: What's the matter with you?,Bleach!
Kid #1: Got my spit on it!,Whoa! You can't catch me!
Kid #1: Stop him! Don't let him get away! Kid #1:  This is the best action figure ever!,SpongeBob in the corner pocket! Doink!
"Squidward: You brats get back in the play area or I'll eighty-six your face! Kids: We want our action figure back! Squidward: Ow! Mr. Krabs: Krusty Krab action figures aren't free ya know! So, get your parents' money and you can have it. Squidward: Uh, Eugene, we don't sell action figures. Mr. Krabs:  Hmm...",Peekaboo!
"Squidward: What the— Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, what are you doing in my hand? And why aren't you back there flippin' patties?","Sorry, Mr. K. I shrunk myself by mistake. But I won't let it affect my job. I will get back to flippin' right now."
"Mr. Krabs: Hold on there, Tiny. I can't have you workin' the grill no more. Too dangerous for a little guy like you.","Oh, please, Mr. Krabs! There must be some job I could do! I don't care what it is! Please, please, please!"
"Mr. Krabs: Alright, I'll think of somethin'. But since you're so small now, I can only pay ya a penny. A year.",Whoa!  That's big money!  Whoa!
"Mr. Krabs: Hmm. Now what could I do with a little SpongeBob? Dirty Customer: Personal Hygiene Service? Customer: Did you see that? Personal Hygiene Service! Mr. Krabs: Roll up your sleeves, boy-o! You're a personal hygienist now!",Whoo-hoo! Yay!
"Tom: Oh, right there. Yeah.",Whew!
"Mr. Krabs: Break time, SpongeBob! Take five, but hurry back! You gotta start earnin' that penny! Squidward:  Hmph. Work the register, clean the windows, make the patties. I have to do everything now. Thanks a lot, ShrinkBob.  Ow! Ow!","It's okay, Squidward! I'll make the patties for you—oh. Yeah. I forgot. I'm too little.  Boy, I'm really gonna miss my old job."
"Mr. Krabs: Lunch rush is over, Mr. Squidward! Now, wash those dishers! Squidward:  Lunch rush is over, Mr. Squidward. Now, wash some dishes.",The bubbles are making me bigger! More bubbles!
Squidward: What the—,"Thank you, Squidward! I'm big enough to flip patties again!  Oh-ho-ho!"
"Mr. Krabs: Whoa! Squidward: Ahh!! Mr. Krabs: Mr. Squidward, call the fire department!","No need to call 'em, Mr. Krabs.  We'll be there in five minutes depending on traffic."
"Mr. Krabs: Make a left at the light! Nick: Hello, and welcome one and all, to a super special episode of House Fancy. I'm your host, Nicholas Withers.  Our first, very special guest on today's show will be none other than... Squidward: Oh.  Hello. Hello. Uh...  Hellooo! Squilliam: Hellooo! Squidward:  This isn't Squilliam Fancyson, my life long rival who I met in high school band class, is it? Squilliam: The same. You wouldn't happen to be watching House Fancy, would you? Squidward: I was, until you called. Squilliam: Well, Squiddy, I enjoy our chats, but my catered lunch awaits. And you know how hard being fabulous is on an empty stomach! Squidward: Wait, why did you ask me if I was watching House Fancy? Nick:  Sorry, Squilliam, but we've gotta get back to the show. Squidward: Who's that talking in the background? Squilliam: Oh, I'm dreadfully sorry, Nicky dear. Well, toodle loo, Squidward.  Enjoy the program. Nick: Okay, folks, we'll be right back after these important messages.  Welcome back to House Fancy. I'm Nicholas Withers. Here next to me is Squilliam Fancyson. Squilliam: Hello, peasants. Nick: Let me start by saying what a lovely facade you have, Mr. Fancyson. Squilliam: Why, thank you, Nick. Nick: And your house doesn't look too bad either. Squilliam: Oh, Nicky. Nick: Camera crew, can we get a shot of Squilliam Fancyson's fabulous house, please? Squidward: Hey, that's no better than my house! Squilliam: I bid you welcome, to my foyer. Nick: It's simply glorious! Squidward:  It's simply glorious! Squilliam: It truly is, Nicky. Nick: It's like I've died and gone to fancy heaven!  Is that what I think it is? Squilliam: It sure is! It's a gilded door knob. Nick: Absolutely magical! Squilliam: Absolutely imported. Nick: May I? Squilliam: But, of course. Nick: Ohhh... Lovely. Squilliam: Ain't it? Nick: Well, I have to say, Squilliam, and I think that I'm speaking for all of our viewers out there when I'm saying this. You, are truly a fancy man. Squilliam: Well, all this gushing is perfectly deserved.  And now, I would like to present to you my most favorite room in the house.  It's all custom. Ah, look at this, it's my jewel-encrusted toilet paper holder. Nick: Such class! Squilliam: Come, let me show you the roof! Nick: An elevator? Squilliam: Watch your step.  This may take a while. Just sit back and relax. Nick: What the!? A whirl pool bath elevator? Squilliam: I brought some soap.  All ashore. Welcome to my rooftop garden! Romantic grotto, sparkling berry mineral soda waterfall, and my personal favorite, a 130-foot-long sculpture of my unibrow! Nick: It's huge, and... lifelike! Squilliam: If you look closely, you'll notice it's made entirely out of gilded doorknobs. Nick: You have the fanciest... Squilliam: Eh, what? Nick: You have the fanciest... Squilliam: I have the fanciest ring? Nick: No, your phone is ringing. Squilliam: Oh.  Hello? Oh, yeah, hang on.  Uh, it's for you. Nick: Hello. Hello.  Hello. Squidward: Hello, my name is Squidward Tentacles, and my house is far fancier than that slob Squilliam's! Nick: Really? Squidward: Really! Nick: Okay, we'll be at your house in two hours with a camera crew. Squidward:  Two hours? But I haven't even had time to wash my hair.  There's a stain on the rug! I'll just use this chair to hide it. There we go. Now I'll just...  There's a hideous hole in the wall! I'll just use this painting to cover it up. Perfect.  Oh, no!  Oh, I'll never get this place in shape in time!  SpongeBob! How long have you been spying on me?",Umm... What day is it today?
Squidward: It's the day you go away and never come back.,"But, Squidward, if I do that, then how am I going to help you get your house ready for the big TV show?"
Squidward: How did you know about that?,I was spying on you.
"Squidward: Do you want me to get the cops down here again? Because...  All right, fine. But one slip up, and you are out of here. Comprendo?","Mucho comprendo, Señor Habanero!"
"Squidward: All right. First, I'm going to give you something so simple, a person without a brain could even get it done right.","Whoo, that's good, 'cause I lent my brain to Patrick for the weekend."
Squidward: Really?,"No, not really... He traded me these two chocolate bars for it."
Squidward: I don't care! Just use this paint to cover up that faded part on the wall right there. Don't touch anything else!,Okay.
"Squidward: SpongeBob, what was that noise?  Skin me alive and drench me in boiling oil! What have you done to my living room?! I told you just to paint the faded spot.","Well, it all looked kinda faded."
"Squidward: Never mind! Maybe it won't show up on camera. Here, help me move this sofa.","You got it, Squiddy. Where are we moving her to?"
"Squidward: Hang on, I'm trying to get the grip on the thing. Now don't move it till I say...  Ow! Okay, it's on my foot. Now don't...  Ow!",Okay.
"Squidward: Ow! SpongeBob, I told you not to move it until I say...  Ow! Why do you keep moving it?",‘Cause you keep saying “ow”!
"Squidward: I don't need you, I can move it myself.","Wow, Squidward, you're so strong!  And you split your sofa in half! It'll be really easy to move now."
"Squidward: Oh, no, they're already here! Go get a vacuum and clean up all the sofa bits. I've gotta run upstairs and dress my wound!","Roger!  Okay, Squidward, found the vacuum! Squidward? Well, I'll just vacuum for him. Hmm, Squidward's house is really messy. I'm going to need some extra power."
"Squidward: Okay, SpongeBob, I finished... What the?","Don't worry, Squidward! I'll turn it off."
"Squidward: Come out of there.  Uh, hang on, please.  Please, just one more minute, Nick! Patrick: Who's Nick? Sorry, Squidward. I couldn't wait any longer, I've gotta use your toilet. No questions! Thanks.  Phew! I wouldn't go in there for a couple days. Or weeks. Toilet: Please, please, somebody put me out of my misery!  Have mercy on my soul...! Patrick: Oh, hey, Squidward, if you see SpongeBob, can you give him his brain back? I was borrowing it for the weekend. I'll just set it, uh... here.  See ya!","Thank you, Patrick!"
"Squidward: Oh, no! Nick: Hello, and welcome back to House Fancy. We're arriving at the home of Mr. Squidward Tentacles, who claims his house is far fancier than that of Squilliam Fancyson. Let's take a look.  Well, I, I, I... I'm not quite sure how to say this... Squilliam: Go ahead, say it. Nick: Squidward Tentacles, you seem to have ushered in an entire new era in house fanciness! Squilliam: Huh? Squidward: I have-... I have? Nick: What you have done here hearkens back to the illustrious post-primitive movement popularized by famous designer Saul Limpkins. Say, was he a big inspiration for you? Squidward: Why, yes. I've studied him for... years! Nick: I would like to announce, that Squidward's house will be featured in an hour long, commercial free House Fancy special, and Squidward will be crowned House Fancy prince of the year! An honor which was originally to be bestowed upon Squilliam, but now isn't. Squidward: Yay!","Oh, don't worry, Squilliam, I might be able to get Squidward to help you redecorate. He is a personal friend of mine. You know success hasn't gone to his head? He is still the same old great guy, he has not changed. Oops.  Doink.  I don't remember leaving the fridge open. Huh?  Huh, I don't remember making such a mess.  And I'm pretty sure I didn't eat spaghetti.  Nope.  Huh? Oh, hey, Patrick.  Wake up, Patrick!  Whoa! Whoa!"
Patrick:,"  Patrick, no! No! Whew. Shh! Shhh! Uh-huh. Phew."
Male Fish:  What the?!,Ooh!  Ow! Bleach!  Ow!
Patrick: Mm. Ahh...,"No, Patrick, no!  Don't! Huh? Ohh! Whoa!"
Patrick: Breezy. Patrick: Ow!,"Oh, brother."
"Patrick:  Oh! Patrick: Oh, he'll be fine. Karen: Huh? Mm, I don't remember this bottle. Plankton: Poof!  Alakazam! Your wish is my command! Karen: I wish you back in the bottle. Plankton: Ow!  Hey, cut it out. Karen: All right, what's with the Ali Baba routine? Plankton: It's my new scheme, Karen. I get Krabs to believe I'm a genie, I break this bottle, and then he's gonna put me in another bottle. Karen: I hope it's a baby bottle because you look adorable. Plankton: No, Karen, you hope it's the secret formula bottle because then we'll rule the fast food world! Karen: Yeah, keep messing with that old crab, and the only container you'll need is an urn. Plankton: Ow! Plankton:  Krabs should be heading out for work right about now. Plankton: Ow! Plankton: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Plankton:  Ow, ow, ow! Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, pick up that trash.","And a good morning to you, Mr. Krabs.  Whoa, it's so pretty."
"Plankton: Oh, no, that's SpongeBob.  Oof, oof!","I'm going home for my lunch break, Mr. Krabs!"
"Plankton: Ugh, nagging Neptune, the agony! Plankton:  Whatever's happening, I'm sure it will be over soon.","Ooh, huh?"
Gary:  Meow.,Huh?
Gary:  Meow.,Ooh.
Gary:  Meow.,"Hey, there's writing on this.  Rub bottle for magic genie. Magic genie! I found a genie!"
"Plankton: Ow, ow, hot, hot, hot, ow, ow, ow! Plankton: Yeow! Alakazam! I am the genie of the bottle.","Oh, yeah! Hi, genie! Are you really a genie?"
"Plankton: Of course I am. Now, as a genie, I command you to take me to Mr. Krabs.","You silly genie, you. You know it doesn't work like that. I'm your master now, and you have to grant me three wishes."
"Plankton: What? For cryin' out loud. All right, what would you like?","Oh, nothing for me, thank you. That would be selfish. But I will make three wishes for my friends. Friendship is magical too."
"Plankton: I'm gonna be sick. Plankton: Ow, ow, ow, ow! Squidward: What do you want? It's my day off!","Well now it's your lucky day off. Make a wish, and the genie shall make it come true."
Squidward: Anything to get you away. I wish I for a golden clarinet that always plays beautifully. There.,Say it. Mm!
Plankton:  Your wish is my command!,Yeah!
Squidward: So we're done?,Huh? Genie?
"Squidward:  Well, I'll be an ocean monkey's uncle. The wish came true! Plankton:  Good thing I spent that last summer in evil band camp. Squidward: Oh, magic is real. Plankton: Oh, Master? I have an idea! How about your next friend is Mr. Krabs?",My next friend is my best friend.
"Plankton: Oh, for cod's sake. Patrick: I wish...I wish...I wish... Plankton: Pick something, you bozo! Patrick: Well, sometimes I wish I had an extra head so that I'd have someone to talk to when you're at work.",Aww.
"Plankton: Pathetic. All right, your crummy wish is my command! Give me your hand, Jumbo. And the both of you, close your eyes. Plankton: Alakazam! Patrick:  Oh! My extra head! It's my wish come true! Oh, I'm gonna call you... Noggin.","Oh, hello, Noggin. Nice to meet you."
"Patrick: Noggin, say hello to SpongeBob.","Oh, he doesn't have to—"
"Patrick: Noggin, you're embarrassing me. Say hello to SpongeBob.","No, it's okay, Patrick."
"Patrick: No, it's not okay! Plankton: Leaping lungfish, can we go now? Patrick: Yes, go! Noggin here needs to be taught a painful lesson. Patrick: Okay, Mister, you can—ow!  Ooh-ho-ho-ho! What are you do—? Ow, ow! Ow, Noggin, don't! Oh! Plankton: Finally! The Krusty Krab.","Of course, I was saving my last wish for good ol' Mr. Krabs."
"Plankton: Ooh, izzy wizzy, let's get busy.","And so this would be the third and last wish I have, and it's all for you."
"Plankton: Alakazam! Mr. Krabs: Child, can't you see I'm working here?  Take your toy and go play in the kitchen.","But it's a real genie, and I—I saved the last wish for you."
"Mr. Krabs: Okay, stop your blubbering. I'll play along. I wish I had, um, $1,000. Plankton: Your wish is my command!  You greedy crook. Plankton: I'd like to withdraw all my money, please. Mr. Krabs:  Well, blow me down. It is a real genie! If I possess that bottle, I'll get three more wishes! Squidward:  It's mine now! With three wishes, I could rule the music world! Squidward:  What happened to you? Patrick: I don't wanna talk about it. I just want a new Noggin. Mr. Krabs: Got it! Nyah, nyah, the genie's mine now!","Hey, look, a penny!"
Mr. Krabs: What? Money? Where? Ooh. Mr. Krabs: You hand me that bottle!,"No, Mr. Krabs! Oh, don't you all see? We shouldn't be fighting. Today we found out that magic is real. And that magic is magical and that magic makes you feel all sparkly and  carbonated inside."
Squidward: So how do we decide who gets the genie?,That's easy. We're gonna play a little game called Spin The Bottle! So the rules are whichever one the bottle points to...
Patrick: Has to kiss!,"No, Patrick, they will win the bottle."
Patrick: Oh.,And spin!
"Squidward:  Ooh, ooh... Mr. Krabs:  Mm... Mr. Krabs: Stop on me, stop on me... Squidward: It's mine, it's mine! Mr. Krabs: It's coming back! It's coming to me! Yes, it's mine! Whoo-hoo!  All right,  abracadabra!  Hocus pocus!  Open sesame! Plankton:  Al—Alakazoom! Your swish is my com—my com—  ♪My wishy wishy wishy wish fish!♪ Mr. Krabs: All right, Alakazam, first thing I want is for everything in the Krusty Krab to turn into gold—even all the negative space. Plankton:  I can't do it! I can't keep up this charade anymore. I'm too mangled and mutilated! Mr. Krabs: Oh, I should have known! What was your lame-o plan this time? Plankton:  I was gonna break that bottle so you would have to put me in the bottle with the secret formula. Genie:  So you were gonna break my bottle, eh? That's the last time I go on vacation and sublet my bottle to someone without references!  What did you do to it? It's all chipped and scratched! Plankton: Calm down, you're insured. Squidward: Who's this clod with my bottle? Patrick: Who's that bottle with my clod? Genie: Hmm... Genie:  So you all like bottles, eh?! Genie:  Oh, poor baby. Next time I'll take you with me to visit Mama.","Hey, you guys, I—huh? Hmm, guess they worked it out. It's so heartwarming to live in a world with real magic. And the greatest magic of all is the way my friends are so close to each other."
"Squidward, Mr. Krabs, Plankton, and Patrick: SpongeBob, will you get us out of here?!","Yuck, this bottle of ketchup's gone bad."
"SpongeBob and Patrick: Surprise! Happy birthday, Squidward!  Happy happy birthday! Happy birthday cake!  Happy happy birthday! Pin the tail on the seahorse!  Happy happy birthday! Happy birthday, Squidward!","Yeah! So long, Squidward, bye-bye, don't do anything I wouldn't do."
"Patrick: Another year older. Squidward: It's not my birthday!  That's it! I'm moving out of this neighborhood! Realtor Lady:  Absolutely, Mr. Tentacles!  I can sell your home in a heartbeat. Squidward: Oh, that's great news, because I want to move as soon as possible. Patty: No problem! As long as it's not infested with nematodes, or surrounded by troublesome neighbors or something like that. Squidward: Oh sure, there's none of that... Did you say neighbors? Patty: Of course! I can't tell you how many times I've seen a sale fall through because of bad neighbors. Squidward: Neighbors. Uhh... Patty: Anyway, I'll be by tomorrow to check out the house. See you then! Squidward: SpongeBob! No one will ever buy my house with him living next door! Whatever a good neighbor would do, he does the opposite! Opposite... opposite...","Umm, Squidward, why are you playing that drum?"
"Squidward: Drum? What drum?  This is just my wig case! See?  Come on, SpongeBob, tackle me!",Squidward! You need bed rest!  I'll keep you safe until you're well again.
"Squidward: Oh, I get it. You don't know what day it is, do you?","Uhh, Wednesday?"
"Squidward: Why, it's Opposite Day!  You mean you've never heard of it? Boy, have you been missing out! Opposite Day is the one day of the year when you get to act different! Normally I'm stuffy, boring, but today I'm silly and spontaneous!",Does everybody know about Opposite Day?
Squidward: Oh sure! It's a game! Get it?,"Oh, a game."
"Squidward: Yeah! Normally, you're really loud and annoying, so what are you going to be today?",Quiet and out of the way! Yay!
Squidward: Yeah! Why don't you get a jump on it.,"I love... I mean, I hate Opposite Day.  I'm not ready!"
"Squidward: So long, chum.  And goodbye, Bikini Bottom.","Gary! It's Opposite Day and I...  ...walk, don't run. And I'm gonna... opposite... opposite... I'm just gonna crawl into bed and do nothing all day.  Too bad it only comes once a year, huh, Gary?"
Gary: Meow!,"Gary, where’s your holiday spirit?"
Gary:,Company! I hate company. ‘’’’Who's there?
Patrick: It's Patrick!,Patrick... go away! I never want to see you again!
Patrick:  SpongeBob doesn't like me anymore!,"That's right! You're my worst enemy!  Patrick, you're not really not my friend. It's just Opposite Day!"
"Patrick: Opposite Day? Hey, I've heard of that!",You have?
Patrick: No! What is it?,"Well, whatever you normally do, today you do the opposite."
Patrick: Oh! Let me try! Let me try!,"Patrick! Patrick, breathe!  Not that opposite. Let me show you how to do it the wrong way! Meow."
Patrick:  Meow.,Kcirtap yeh.
Patrick: Pu evig i.,"Edis etisoppo eht ot teg ot! Say, want to help me do some work around the house, worst enemy?"
"Patrick: Nope. Squidward: Nearly noon and not a peep from SpongeBob!  I'm almost sorry I'm leaving!  Opposite Day.  SpongeBob, what are you...","Hello, Squidward! Oops. I mean, goodbye, Squidward! Aww, isn't Opposite Day...  ...terrible?"
Squidward: I'll tell you what's terrible! Living next to you! You're the worst neighbor in history!,Wow! That's the nicest thing Squidward has ever said to me!
"Squidward:  If the real estate agent sees that mess, I'll never sell this house! Patrick: Isn't it beautiful?",On Opposite Day it is.
"Squidward: Out of the way, SpongeBob!","I don't get it. I made my house a mess, which was making it clean, which made Squidward clean my yard,  but that really means he's messing it up.  But the opposite of clean is filth, which means filth is clean, that means Squidward is really making my yard a wreck, but I normally wreck my own yard which means,  Squidward is being the opposite of Squidward which means he's SpongeBob!  A-ha! I understand everything now! I must be the opposite of SpongeBob! By being...  Squidward!"
"Patrick: Hey! I wanna be opposite, too!  Yeah! Finally! Yoo-hoo!  I'm Squidward, I'm Squidward, Squidward, Squidward, Squidward.","Wait! It's not enough to look like Squidward to be opposite...  ...you have to act like him, too. Boy, oh boy, do I like playing the clarinet. I practice and practice all day long, but I never get any better.  Now you try."
"Patrick: Okay.  I'm Squidward, Squidward, Squidward, Squidward. SpongeBob and Patrick: I'm Squidward. I'm Squidward. I'm Squidward, Squidward, Squidward.","After you, Mr. Squidward."
"Patrick: Why, thank you, Mr. Squidward.","You're quite welcome, Mr. Squidward."
"Squidward:  Oh, Opposite Day. Next time, it's going to be Go Jump Off A Cliff Day! Patty: Oh my! The house is even more beautiful in person!  Hello, Mr...  Uh... Mr. Tentacles?","Yes, please come in."
"Patty: It's funny, I pictured you being much taller.","Yeah, everyone says that."
"Patty: Now if you want the sale to go through, you've got to tell me all the positive things about your house.","Positive things! Opposite Day...  I'd love to. The floor creaks, the roof leaks, there's a terrible draft."
"Patty: Uhh... well, you didn't mention that on the phone.","Please, let me finish. The winters are harsh, the summers are brutal. There's a wild man-eating clam in the backyard!  Now, would you care to see the rest of my home?"
"Patty: Well, umm, I'm not sure if I'm interested...",Nonsense! I won't take no for an answer.  Please follow me.  And here's the worst room in the house. My gallery.
"Patty:  Oh my, this painting is very nice. Patrick: Thank you! Patty: Who's that?!",I'd like to introduce you to Mr. Squidward.
Patty: You're both Squidward?,"I'm Squidward, he's Squidward."
"SpongeBob and Patrick: We're both Squidward. Squidward: Well, that's done. At least SpongeBob has been quiet.  NO! Patty: Okay, I really don't want to hear another one.",Okay.
"Patty: I really don't want to hear more, thank you.",I hear you loud and clear.
"Squidward:  Stop! Get away from her! Oh, oh, I am so sorry, ma'am, I hope these two  barnacle heads  haven't harmed you in any way. Patty: Who are you? Squidward: Why, I'm Squidward! Patty:  What kind of fool do you take me for?  He's Squidward, he's Squidward, you're Squidward... I'm Squidward! Are there any other Squidwards I should know about?! Gary:  Meow. Patty:  I'm outta here. Squidward: Ma'am, please! What about my house?! Patty: I wouldn't sell a house for you if you were the last Squidward on Earth! Squidward: Wait!",Don't...
"Patrick: ...Go! Squidward:  No! No! No! No! No! Patty: Stop! Stop! Squidward: Please, sell my house! Patty: Never! Squidward: Don't leave me here! SpongeBob and Patrick:  Happy Opposite Day, Squidward! We hate you! Squidward: Let me show you guys how much I... hate you!","Patrick, do you ever get the feeling that Squidward likes us too much?!"
Squidward:  Happy Opposite Day! Squidward: SpongeBob...,"Good morning, Squidward!"
"Squidward: SpongeBob, what are you doing in my house?!",I came to make sure you don't oversleep and miss work.
"Squidward: Oh gee, SpongeBob, that's very thoughtful of you.","My pleasure, Squidward. That's what good neighbors are for."
"Squidward: You did overlook one teensy little detail, however.","What's that, Squidward?"
Squidward: It's Sunday!  A good neighbor doesn't bother me on Sunday!,"Sunday? No wonder Squidward's grumpy. He forgot his Sunday papers. This'll show Squidward I'm a good neighbor. I'll bring it to him.  Man this is heavy.  Oh, pardon me."
"Patrick: Hey, watch where you're going.  Newspaper monster!",AHH!!! Monster!
"SpongeBob & Patrick: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Squidward: Will you two nincompoops kindly quiet down?! I am not going to let them ruin the rest of my Sunday.  My Sunday relaxation kit.  Let's see…pillow.  Placed ever so for slight foot elevation. Flower--to brighten the room. Flower fragrance.  Ah, and the final touch.  Yes, I'd like to order the Sunday special. Yes, pedicure and foot massage house call, that is correct. See you at 4 my good man.  This is gonna be a heavenly day. Oh, I almost forgot.  Bon-bons. Hello there, heaven's little wonder, take me on a chocolate vacation. Patrick: Ooooooooohhhhhh!",Ooooooohhhhh!
"SpongeBob & Patrick: By the all seeing eye, ye are worthy. We are not. Squidward: What are you two idiots doing? Patrick: Secret ritual.",To inaugurate you as president.
"Squidward: Me? President of Bikini Bottom? I knew the people would come to their senses. Patrick: No, silly. Not the president of Bikini Bottom. Even better. Squidward: Better?",You're the president of The Secret Royal Order of the Good Neighbor Lodge!
"Squidward: The WHAT?! Oh, is this some stupid club you two made up?! Patrick: Hehehehe...maybe.",It's a secret.
"Squidward: Fine. As my first presidential decree, why don't you, uhh, go out and paint all the leaves on the trees to make the neighborhood look nicer?  Now out, out, out, out, out, out. That'll keep them busy for a few Sundays.","What color should we paint the laves, your presidentialocity?"
Squidward: Polka dots! Now don't bother me anymore. SpongeBob & Patrick: Wow. Polka dots. Patrick: Our new president is a genius.,Yeah.
"SpongeBob & Patrick: See ya later, Squidward.","Whenever you're ready, Patrick."
"Patrick:  Hold still, buddy.","Okay, Pat, gimme a quick shake."
Patrick: Okie dokie.,"Okay! I'm ready!  Hey, that worked perfectly. C'mon, good neighbor Patrick, let's paint the town polka dot."
"Squidward:  Oh, no. It's already noon. I will be darned if I let those morons eat up anymore of my valuable Sunday. SpongeBob & Patrick:  Good neighbors are we. La-la-la-la-la-la. Squidward: What's going on out there?","Hi, president Squidward. Almost done painting the-"
"Squidward: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! MY EYES!! Gale Rechid: Look out! Ralph: Oh, you poor man. Gale: You must be very sick! Let us take you to the hospital. Squidward: No really, I'm fine. Please, I…no, uhh… SpongeBob & Patrick: See ya later, neighbor! Patrick: It is a lovely day for a ride in the country.","Yeah, our president sure knows how to live.  I'd like to call this meeting of the good neighbor lodge to order. Let's begin with role call: Patrick.  Okay…Squidward?  Squidward? Squidward, you home?"
"Patrick: Did you find him, SpongeBob?",Nope. I guess he's still on his Sunday drive.
Patrick: Or maybe he's on a secret mission.,I hope he's not in danger.
Patrick: Danger?!,"As members of the good neighbor lodge, we are sworn to protect our president from danger."
Harold (red fish): Excuse me? Somebody ordered a relaxing pedicure and foot massage? The Sunday special?,"Brother Star, we'd better check this guy out. Make sure he's safe for Squidward."
Squidward: At least I still have my Sunday pedicure to look forward to.  What are you two doing in my house?,We're checking to make sure this guy really is a certified foot masseur and not some kind of assassin.
Patrick: I say he checks out a-ok.,"Squidward, have you ever seen more lovely French tips?"
"Squidward: French tips, huh?  Alright, pal, make with the relaxing foot massage, pronto! Harold (red fish): Uh-oh. Sorry. Your hour's up. Squidward:  Alright, you two! OUT!!!  And don't even think about dragging your empty skulls around here for the rest of the day! Or tomorrow! Or next week!","Squidward, does that include…"
"Squidward:  YES, IT DOES!","Gee, Patrick, do you think Squidward was trying to tell us something?"
"Squidward:  YES, I WAS! You call yourselves good neighbors? YOU'RE THE WORST NEIGHBORS EVER!  You don't deserve to wear those fezzes!","Gee, Pat, maybe President Squidward's right."
"Patrick: Yeah, I guess we aren't good neighbors after all. Squidward:  NO, YOU AREN'T!!! YOU'RE HORRIBLE NEIGHBORS!!!  AND STOP CALLING ME PRESIDENT!!!","C'mon, let's go."
Squidward: Good neighbors my right.  Hello? Keep Out Intruders For Good! New Security System 5000. Free Installation Security System: System Activated. Squidward: That oughta do it. Let's see those imbeciles try to get in here now.,President Squidward?
Squidward:  What the…?!,We hereby present you with this delicious cake.
"Squidward:  Sorry for bugging you so much? What the…? Security system, help! Intruder alert! Intruder alert! What's the matter with you?! Security System: No threat detected. Squidward:  Grrr! You infernal contraption! I'm gonna ship you off to the scrap heap you came from! Security System: Threat detected. Squidward: What's going on? Security System: Threat detected. Code red. Code red!",It's like a carnival ride!
"Squidward:  Run for your lives!  What the-? What are you doing?!  I only have half an hour of me time left, and the idiots took my house. Which means those boobs aren't around to bug me. Ooh, just what I've been waiting for.  I am gonna relax if it kills me. Army: Fire! Patrick: Wow. Squidward's house is destroying the neighborhood.","We gotta turn this thing off.  Nope, not it."
Patrick:  Nope.,Nope.
"Patrick:  That's not it, either. Squidward:  This Sunday relaxation really hits the spot.","Hmmm, where to look.  Hmmm, this off button seems suspicious.  We did it, Patrick!  President Squidward?"
"Squidward: No-no, don't say anything. This was all my fault. I was the one who wanted to relax on Sunday. Now if you'll be so kind to leave so that I can get ready for work tomorrow.",Mr. President-
Squidward: Shush.,But we just wanted to…
"Squidward:  Get out of my house! Huh? Scooter: There he is! Jasper (green fish): Are you the owner of this house? Squidward: Yes! Yes, I am! Jasper (green fish): Then on behalf of the citizens of Bikini Bottom,  I present you with this summons to pay for the destruction of our town. You'll be doing community service every Sunday for the rest of your life. Squidward: Huh?","Hey, Squidward, you got one of those, too?  This'll be great. The three of us cleaning up Bikini Bottom. Well, see ya next Sunday, president Squidward!"
"Patrick: Look, another rubber stopper for my rubber stopper collection.  It's a little land that's all mine!  Now it's snowing in my little land!  It's snowing again!  Hey, my little land must be having an earthquake.  Must have been an aftershock.  Uh, hey! No wonder you're angry. You just gotta turn it upside down. See? Narrator: Much, much later... Patrick: Snow globes are always funny.  Hey, you want to smell my armpit? There you go. Patrick: Thanks. Oh, hey, do you like to play tag?  Never played it before, huh? Uh, yeah, it's kinda hard to explain. Oh, how about hide-and-seek?  No, no, no, this one's easy. You just close your eyes while the other guy hides, and then you find him and you win. Okay? Ready, uh, now go hide.  1, 2, 3. You can skip a few, 100. Okay, ready or not, here I come!  Hey... Where'd you go? Why are you hiding from me?  This game's harder than I thought!  You want to smell my armpit again?  You win again! Hey, hey! You want to go meet my friend, SpongeBob? Oh, he's a little weird, but you guys will probably get along.  We can play more coral ring toss later.","Dinnertime, Gary! And it's your favorite flavor—crushed anemone byproducts and krill.  What is that horrific banging?  Patrick's being eaten by a giant sea monster!"
"Patrick: Hey, hey!","Oh, he's crying out for help!"
"Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob! Hey, up here! Look, no hands!","Gary, this is even worse than yesterday!"
"Narrator: Yesterday... Nat: Excuse me, I think your ice machine's broken. Squidward: Keep looking. You'll find someone who cares. Nat: Uh, you're the owner here, aren't you? Mr. Krabs: That would be me. Nat: Well, I think your ice machine might be broken. Mr. Krabs: Oh, try telling that guy over there. Nat: Excuse me, the ice machine's broken.",Noooo! Why?! Why?! Why?!  Why?!  It was horrible.  Patrick! Patrick!
Patrick: SpongeBob!,"I must've been daydreaming. I saw you in this big monster's dripping maw, and I thought you were being eaten."
"Patrick: Uh, I wasn't being eaten. That monster is my friend. I thought you might like to meet him.",I would be delighted to meet him.
"Patrick: Well, in that case, SpongeBob, I would like to introduce you to... I would like to introduce you to... I forgot his name. What do I do? What do I do?",Don't panic. Introduce me first. Then he'll say his name when he meets me.
"Patrick: Okay.  Uh, I'd like you to meet my friend, SpongeBob.","And you are?  Nice to meet you, Mr. Rrarrg!  Well, Rrarrg, now that we're friends, I would like to show you my home."
Patrick: And this is my home.,"Where is your home? Oh, maybe he doesn't have a home."
"Patrick: Doesn't have a home?  Hey, wait a minute, you can live under my rock if you want, Rrarrg.","Oh, he smashed your house!"
Patrick: Yeah!  He's gonna smash your house now!,"He's going to smash my house?! Gary!  Gary! Jump, Gary, jump!  Parachute, Gary! Use your parachute!"
Patrick: He's gonna smash Squidward's place now!,"Uh, Patrick, I don't--"
"Patrick: Encore!  Wow, the police have arrived.","And they built a cute little fence around Rrarrg.  Hi, Squidward, you're home early."
"Cop: Hold it, buddy. Where are you going? Squidward: I live here.  And what's so funny? Cop: Oh, the thought of anyone living in a pile of gravel. Squidward: I'll have you know, sir, that my home is a-- pile of gravel?! Cop: Sir, don't yell at me. We don't want to alert the-- Squidward: Alert the what?! Cop: That big scary monster inside the fence over there.","He waved at you, Squidward! That means he likes you!"
"Squidward: He likes me? Officer, arrest me right now, because I am about to throw a horrible tantrum that no one around here wants to see. Cop #2: What do you think he's doing up there? Cop #3: Who? Cop #2: The big guy. Cop #3: I don't know. Cop #2: What? Cop #3: I said I don't know. Cop #2: Cop #3: He's escaped! Cop #2: Quick, everybody into the...  Quick, everybody into the squad car!  Oh, darn it. Cop #4: Now what are we going to do? Cop #2: We shall have to chase him on foot.  It's headed straight for town!  There, by the magazine stand! Hold it right there, bub!  This is a newsstand, not a library.  Okay, one more step, and I'll sneeze. Patrick: Wait just one minute! This is my friend! If you want to get to him, you're gonna have to go through me! Cop #2: We're prepared to do that. Patrick: Actually... just let me to talk to him for a minute. Psst. Cop #2: You mean, that thing can speak? Patrick:  Of course! He's a giant freak of nature, not a freak of nature that can't speak.  And so as the lowly snail sheddeth his shell, and the lofty gull moldeth his feathers, the brightest of friendships must dimmeth as the setting sun. Cop #2: That was...  beautiful. We still gotta run him out of town. Patrick: It really crushes my heart to see him go.","Yeah, crushes. Patrick, crushes! That gives me an idea!"
"Patrick:  Yeah? Okay.  Two cubes, please.","Your ice cubes, sir."
"Nat: What? Where?  Hey, thanks, buddy.",Don't thank me. Thank Rrarrg!
"Patrick: Wha...? What happened? Where am I!?  Oh yeah, the party! I must've passed out in SpongeBob's kitchen... on the ceiling.  See, SpongeBob, I told you we shouldn't stay up past 8:30. Things get real crazy after 8:30!","Would you like another spot of tea, Ms. Nibsy? Oh, you would?"
"Patrick: Whooooo! Chamomile, chamomile, chamomile! Oh, she really knows how to pound 'em down, huh, SpongeBob?  SpongeBob... SpongeBob? Sponge-  That's a good lookin' donut... Wow...  This donut's connected to SpongeBob! Oh...  It worked!  A beautiful specimen of donut-hood. A donut this nice deserves to be served on fine china!  The good plate.  Don't worry, donut. No longer will you suffer the indignity of sub-par dining wear! I don't think I've ever seen a donut this nice before...  Except maybe that donut SpongeBob showed me last night...",A donut this nice could really make a guy happy!
"Patrick:  This is SpongeBob's delicious...  Wai... I 'ant eat 'is 'onut...!  It's SpongeBob's! Devil Donut: Go on and eat it. What are you waitin' for? Angel Donut: Don't do it! It's SpongeBob's donut! Devil Donut: Don't listen to him, he's covered with sprinkles. Patrick:  ...I hate conflicts! Devil Donut: It couldn't get any easier than this. Just hook a chain to it,  pop it in your mouth, and then when your sponge friend wants it back, just yank it out. Angel Donut: I hate to admit it, but that's a great idea! Patrick:  And now...  SpongeBob's donut, I ate it!  I've gotta sneak this back into SpongeBob's house before he-  Hello...?","Hey, Patrick."
Patrick:,"Hey, Star. It's SquarePants. That was some party last night, huh, buddy?"
Patrick:,"That's exactly how I feel about it.  Luckily, I videotaped the whole party so we can relive it over and over and over again."
"Patrick: Ah, don't watch that tape..!","I'm waiting to watch it with you, Sillyfish! I'll be right over.  Sheesh, Patrick's so excited, I better not keep him waiting!"
"Patrick: Oh, no... that video will show me stealing SpongeBob's donut..! Uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, eee, eee! I gotta hide this thing.  Whew...  Oh...","Hey, Patrick, I-  Donut! You monster...! You monster!  Nothing goes with a video like toast! Let's pop some toast in the toaster and watch this bad boy!"
"Patrick: Ow, hot, hot, hot, ow!","Get out of the way, Patrick, I gotta go!"
Patrick:  ...The attic!  Wait... I don't have an attic!   Oh... Ooh! I know! The attic.,"Hey, Patrick!"
"Patrick: Ah! H-hey, SpongeBob.",Are you ready to-
"Patrick: I don't have anything behind my back, so don't look there!",Okay... No problem. Ready to see this?  The official testament of how heartily we party... hardy?
"Patrick: No!  I took it, SpongeBob! I took your donut...! I'm sorry!","Oh, Patrick! You really need to see this video!  I wanna give you this, because you're my buddy and... A donut this nice could really make a guy happy..."
Patrick:   You mean...  This is mine?,Of course! It was your birthday!
Patrick:   When?,"Last night, silly!"
"Patrick:   Oh... Thanks, buddy!  Hey, Wanna share it?","Sure, pal!"
"Patrick: Yeah, pretty good, huh? Narrator: Ah, Goo Lagoon. Where the sun is hot and the sunbathers are oh so cool.",What a beautiful day.
"Patrick: You said it, pal.",Can you believe that sun?
Patrick: I could look at it all day.,"Uhh, Patrick?"
Patrick: What?,Nothing.
"Patrick: So, how's that tan coming?",I don't know. Let me check.  Looking good. How's yours?
Patrick: Just a minute.  I could have sworn I was laying on my back.,"Hey, it's Larry, the lifeguard!"
"Nancy Suzy Fish: Mr. Lifeguard, can I feel your muscle? Larry: Sure. Don't scratch the paint. Scooter: Lifeguard, how’s the tubage? Larry: Gnarly, dudes! Scooter and friends: All right, yeah! Woohoo! Dennis: Lifeguard, can you point out the snack bar? Larry: Right over there! But you guys are way too old and unsightly for my beach. And I'm afraid I'm gonna have to ask you to leave. Mable:  So polite. Dennis: Just like we raised him.",What a guy. Is it any wonder he's so popular? Just imagine... if I were a lifeguard.  That would be so cool!
"Patrick: Oh, what do you want to be a lifeguard for? Nobody really likes those guys.  Being a lifeguard is so dumb. All they do is blow, blow, blow on their stupid whistles, rub, rub, rub that white stuff on their noses and show off their gross misshapen bodies! Nat:  Dude, put that thing away. There are, like, children here. Patrick: I'm going to the snack bar.","Who needs to be a lifeguard? I'm cool.  I'm every bit as cool as Larry. And if I'm not, let me be struck by...  ...a flying ice cream truck.  And live!"
"Larry:  Please do not land flying ice cream trucks on the bathers!  SpongeBob, you okay?  Hey! I didn't know you were a lifeguard.",Lifeguard?
Larry: The nose?,White stuff! You think I'm a lifeguard?
"Larry: Sure! There’s no hiding the lifeguard look, SpongeBob, and you've got it.",You really think so?
"Larry: You bet I do. Say, we're a little shorthanded around here. How would you like to work the beach?",I'd love it!
"Larry: Alright.  Leave that on the bench, Kahuna. Hey, Annette, come here!  I want you to meet my buddy, SpongeBob.",Hi.
"Larry: Hey, guy's a lifeguard.","It works!  Woohoo! That was the greatest, Larry!"
"Larry: Yeah! Say, how'd you like to take the second shift?",By myself?
Larry: Only if you think you're ready.,"I'm not just ready.  I'm ready, Freddy."
"Larry: It's Larry. Well, I guess I'll just... Fish #2: Help, help!  Help, help, help! Larry: We've got a sinker! SpongeBob, let me take this. I haven't seen any action all day.",Action?
"Fish #2: Please help, please help! Larry: Breathe, darn you! Fish #2: That's the last time I read and swim! You saved my life! Larry: Don't mention it. It's all part of the job.  You know, SpongeBob, the babes and the big chair are great, but the best part is knowing you're the only thing that stands between these good people...  ...and a watery grave. And that's what its all about.  Their lives are in your hands now, ‘cause I got a date with the tanning booth.  See ya.","But I...  ...can't swim. Oh, if I'd known being a lifeguard meant guarding their lives, I would never have said yes!  Maybe nothing will go wrong. Then when Larry comes back, I'll tell him I'm not interested. Besides, what’s the worst that could happen?  Emergency! Everybody out of the water! Hurry! Emergency! Out of the water!  Emergency!  Uhh... there are sharks in there!"
"Father Shark: Hey, that's my family you're talking about!",Uhh... sea monster!
"Sea Monster: You know, we sea monsters have made great strides in the fields of science and literature.","Uhh, somebody went?  No, don't go!  Free ice cream!  Plenty for everybody. One for you, one for you... okay, everybody got one?  A-ha, now I got ya! Now, you all have to wait one hour before you go swimming.  But just so you're not tempted...  Ladies and gentlemen, uh, the lagoon is closed."
Scooter: We like Larry better!,Does Larry ever give you  free ice cream?
Patrick: Ice cream!  Did somebody say  ice cream?  Where is it? Is it here?  Huh? Ice cream! Yay!  Cramp! Ah! Ah! Frank:  Holy cow! Somebody's drowning!,"Oh, no, that's not possible. The lagoon is closed."
"Scooter: Dude, get your butt in the water!","If there was anyone in there, we'd hear them."
"Patrick: Help, help!  I can't swim!",Somebody would be screaming that they're drowning.
Patrick: I'm drowning! I'm drowning!,They would have to have crossed the line.
Patrick: I'm drowning ‘cause I crossed the line!,"Okay, I'll take a look, but just to prove to you that...  ...Patrick isn't drowning!"
Patrick: Can't swim! Butt hurts! Ice cream!,"Hold on, Patrick!  I'm coming!"
"Patrick: Help, help!",Don't move!  Catch this!
"Harold: Quit fooling around, man. Get in the water. Patrick: Help, help!","Oh, what am I going to do? Got to think.  Gotta think. Gotta run around and think. Gotta run around and think at the same time. Gotta think, gotta have a plan. Gotta think, think, think.  I've got it!  Patrick can't drown if there isn't any water!  Well, you're safe now, Patrick."
"Patrick:  Help, I'm drowning! I've got butt cramps! I want ice cream and now it’s dark!  Help, help! Help me, I'm drowning! Help! Gus: To us.","Sorry! Here's your hot dog.  Okay, Patrick, here I come!  Come, come round, Pat. Here I am."
"Patrick: Oh, sorry. SpongeBob and Patrick: Help! Help us! We're drowning!","Goodbye, Patrick!"
"Patrick: Goodbye, ice cream! Larry: SpongeBob?","Yes, Larry?"
"Larry: You're not a lifeguard, are you?","No, Larry."
"Larry:  Let's go, guys.  Very good. You fellas are learning fast. SpongeBob and Patrick: Ow! Butt cramps! Patrick: And I still don't have my ice cream.","Um, sir, I believe I was in line first.  I spent the night! That's how you get the best spot around here!  I'm meeting my best friend for an exciting day at Glove World!.  See? Glove World! I promised Patrick we'd be first in line for the first bus to Glove World!."
"Fish #1: Hmm, interesting stuff. Say, do you mind if I cut in front of you?","But I spend the night so that I could... uh... Okay, I guess. ."
"Fish #2: Excuse me. Fish #3: Pardon me. Fish #4: Move it! Patrick: Hey SpongeBob! Are you ready to...  SpongeBob, you promised firsties!","I'm sorry, Patrick. But, we'll still be on the first bus to Glove World!"
SpongeBob and Patrick: Yay!,Glove World! Glove World! Glove World!
Sandy: SpongeBob!,Sandy!
"Sandy: Howdy, little buddy! I need your help with an experiment!","Gosh, Sandy, I'd like to, but I'll miss the first bus to Glove World!."
Sandy: But this is an emergency! SpongeBob? Pleeaase?!,"Oh, okay! Patrick, I'll catch the next bus! See you there!"
"Sandy: Operation acorn smoothie is a success! Mr. Krabs:  SpongeBob! Boyo, you've got to help me. Pearl's got her heart set on a new pair of shoes. Your job is to tell her no.","But, Mr. Krabs, today's my day off!"
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob!,Um. Pearl? About those shoes? No.
"Pearl: No?! Grandma SquarePants: SpongeBob, help your granny cross the street, hm?","Grandma? Oh... coming, Grandma."
"Patrick:  Oh, man! That was the best time I've ever had!  Oh. Hello, SpongeBob. Did you enjoy not going to Glove World with me?","Oh, Patrick, I tried, how I tried! But everyone needed my help and I, uh..."
"Patrick: You need to learn to say 'no'. Stand up for yourself! You need thicker skin like me! . Oh, hey, which reminds me.  Could you scratch my back?","Oh, sure. Oh, it's true, Gare-bear! It's true!"
Gary: Meow.,"It's true that I can't stand up for myself. I'm too soft! Oh, I wish I had thicker skin!"
Gary: Meow .,"Hey, what's this?  Don't throw out that old too soft sponge, toughen it with a new abrasive side!  Say! Gary, did you order this for me? Ah, it fits like a glove!"
Gary: Meow.,"Thanks, Gary! You're always there for me! Huh, I wonder how this thing works."
Abrasive SpongeBob: Why don't ya scram you little freeloader?  Hmph! Bottomfeeder!,"See ya, Gary!"
Gary: Meow?,"♪I've got an abrasive side! Abrasive side, abrasive side! I've got an abrasive side, and now I can say no! Abrasive side, abrasive side, abrasive side, abrasive side! Now I can say --♪"
"Abrasive SpongeBob: No. Fish #5: Hi, SpongeBob, could you help me carry my groceries? Abrasive SpongeBob: Carry 'em yourself, fishface! Larry the Lobster: Hey, SpongeBob, how about little help with this sun tan lotion, huh? Abrasive SpongeBob: Don't you think you've had enough? All you're missing is a bowl of butter! Larry: Butter? Yipe!","Hey, Grandma."
"Grandma SquarePants: Why, hello SpongeBob.","I've got an abrasive side, now!"
"Grandma SquarePants: Why, that's nice, dear. SpongeBob, would you help your granny across the street? Abrasive SpongeBob:  Sorry, Granny, why don't you walk yourself across the street.","Have a nice day, Grandma."
"Sandy:  Howdy, SpongeBob! You're right on time to help me test out my new disappearator. It'll make anything disappear instantly. Now hold still and I'll just shave a few inches off the top of your noggin.","Why certainly, Sa-"
"Abrasive SpongeBob:  No can do, ya brainless lab rat! I have better things to do than to be your test monkey! Sandy: Brainless? Mr. Krabs: Ahoy there, SpongeBob! I need you to work an extra 17 hour shift tonight!","Oh, sure thing, Mr..."
"Abrasive SpongeBob: Sorry, Krabs. I'm busy! Unless you're paying me overtime. Mr. Krabs: Overtime? O... o... o-ver-time...  Overtime? Hm, let's see here. Over, oversold, overspend, ah! Overtime. “More money per hour...”  What a filthy, disgusting word! Squidward: Oh, fun. I suppose you want me to play some stupid game, or you'll just follow me around all day and never ever leave, huh? Abrasive SpongeBob:  'Fraid not, Schnozward! I wouldn't hang out with you for all the money in Krabs' mattress! Squidward:  You don't know how long I've waited to hear those words! Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob! You're right on time for our play date!","Oh, I can't wait..."
Abrasive SpongeBob: ...to ditch you...,...’cause you're my best friend...
"Abrasive SpongeBob: ...so beat it, tubby, I don't care for your company!","Well, Patrick, are you ready to have some fun?"
Patrick: I don't know!,That's weird. I wonder what's wrong with Patrick.
"Abrasive SpongeBob: Don't you remember? We told that pink freak to beat it! In fact, we've already insulted all of your rotten friends, and no one will hang out with you, 'cause you have no friends left, Mr. LoserBob LonelyPants!",Oh no! Patrick! Patrick! Patrick Patrick Patrick!
Patrick:  Yes? May I help you?,"Yes, Patrick, help me get this abrasive side off my back! You'll help me, won't you, buddy?"
"Patrick:  I don't know, are we buddies?","Patrick, you know the answer to that question is-"
Abrasive SpongeBob: No! Why would I want to be friends with a big loser like you? Patrick:  I'm so confused!,It happened again!
Mr. Krabs: It's unbelievable. More money for service above and beyond...,Mr. Krabs! Mr. Krabs!
"Mr. Krabs:  What do you want now, Mr. Pottymouth?","But, Mr. Krabs, I would never use immoderate language like..."
"Abrasive SpongeBob: Overtime! Mr. Krabs:   Arrrgh! Out, out, and stay out! And don't you come back until you've swabbed that poop deck you call a mouth!","Sandy, please help me! Gary ordered me an abrasive side so that I could be more assertive."
"Abrasive SpongeBob: Hey, Chipmunk!","And now, it's taken over!"
"Abrasive SpongeBob: Quiet, you!",I can't take it anymore! It's like a... a virus!
Sandy:,Hold on.
"Sandy: I said, what you want to go and do a dang fool thing like that for?","Well, I just couldn't say..."
Abrasive SpongeBob: No!,To anybody. So I got this abrasive side to help change my personality.
"Sandy: Aw, SpongeBob, don't go trying to be someone you're not. You are who you are, and who you are is just fine! Abrasive SpongeBob: Who he is just stinks! Sandy: Golly! We've got to get this varmint off of you. Now, turn around...  and grab something heavy.  Now hold still. Abrasive SpongeBob: No, you don't scare me, Girly! Sandy: This is gonna sting worse than a jellyfish in a bucket of electric eels! Abrasive SpongeBob: Hey, what are you doing, you crazy bushy-tailed rodent?! Hey! Sandy: All done!","Phew. Thank you, Sandy! You too, Patrick!"
Patrick: No problem! Sandy:  I think it's high time we got rid of this critter.,"So long, Abrasivey!  Grandma! I've got to apologize to Grandma!  Grandma? Hello, Grandma, I'm sorry about earlier. So, what do ya say? Can we discuss forgiveness over a cup of your famous hot cocoa?"
"Grandma SquarePants: Oh, my sweet, I would love to whip that up for you right after you... Abrasive Grandma: Make your own hot cocoa! I'm busy!",No!
"Mr. Krabs: Come on, SpongeBob! It's quittin' time!  I've got a card game tonight.","Who're you playing cards with, Mr. Krabs?"
Mr. Krabs: I'm going over to the Chum Bucket to play with Plankton.,"Plankton?!  But, Mr. Krabs, he's your arch-enemy!  He's been trying to steal the Krabby Patty formula for years!"
Plankton: Ouch.,Why would you play cards with him?
"Mr. Krabs: Between you and me, Plankton is the worst card player in Bikini Bottom!  Why, I've been taking him to the cleaners every Thursday night for fifteen years!  I never lose!","Taking him to the cleaners! That's a hot one!  How'd the card game go last night, Mr. Krabs?"
Mr. Krabs: I lost.,"Barnacles, Mr. Krabs. How much money did you lose?"
Mr. Krabs: I didn't lose any money.  I lost...,Don't tell me you lost the Krusty Krab!
Mr. Krabs: I lost...,"Mr. Krabs, please tell me you didn't lose the Krabby Patty secret formula!"
Mr. Krabs: I lost...  you!,What?
Mr. Krabs: I bet your contract and I lost.,"Good one, Mr. Krabs. Well, I got to go make those Krabby Patties."
Mr. Krabs: I'm afraid you don't work here anymore. Squidward: Please tell me this isn't a joke.,"Go on, Mr. Krabs. Tell him. Tell him all about your cruel, sick joke."
"Plankton: As much as I love cruel, sick jokes, I'm afraid he's not joking.  You work for me now, SpongeBob.  Time to put on the official Chum Bucket bucket helmet.","But, Mr. Krabs, I don't wanna work for him!  I wanna work for you here at the Krusty Krab!"
"Mr. Krabs: I'm sorry, boy! It's all my fault! Plankton:  What kind of cold, heartless person would break apart such a loving relationship?  I would! Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob!",Mr. Krabs!
"Plankton: This is your greatest blunder, Krabs. For fifteen years, I've been throwing those card games just waiting for you to slip up. I may not have the precious Krabby Patty formula, but I've got the next best thing: the guy who makes 'em!  I'm gonna run you out of business, Krabs!",Mr. Krabs!
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob!  Can I have my arms back?,What is this place?
"Plankton: Okay, I'm ready for my Krabby Patty!","Actually, uh, Mr. Plankton, sir, I haven't, uh..."
"Plankton: Perhaps you don't understand. You work for me now  and as your new boss, I command you to make me a patty this instant, or I'll be forced to remove your brain and implant it in my robot chef!  So get cooking.","The sign says kitchen, but my heart says jail. ♪A stove is a stove, no matter where you go.♪"
"Mr. Krabs: ♪A patty is a patty, that's what I say.♪","♪A grill is a grill, this is surely so,♪"
"Mr. Krabs: ♪And fries should be fries, either way.♪",♪But this grill is not a home. This is not the stove I know.♪
"Mr. Krabs: ♪I would trade it all away, if you'd come back to stay.♪ Unison: ♪This kitchen's not the same without you.♪ Mr. Krabs: ♪It's just a greasy spoon♪",♪It's just a greasy spoon...♪
Plankton: Hi!,"I'm sorry, Plankton, I've tried my best. I'm not used to cooking this way! Please don't take my brain out!"
"Plankton: Hold it, SpongeBob, I'm capable of compassion and understanding.",Really?! Then I would like to go back to the Krusty Krab.
Plankton: Let's not get carried away. Now what can I do to make you more comfortable here at the Chum Bucket?,"Well, I usually cook on a grill."
"Plankton: You got it!  Well, it wasn't easy, but here it is! One old frying grill. How about we try it out?","Uh, it's just that I'm used to the grill facing that way."
"Plankton: Say no more, I'll take care of everything.  How about here?",A little more to the left.
"Plankton: How's this, SpongeBob?",Move it over a little more.
Plankton: Here?,Keep going.
Plankton: Here?,"Almost! That's it, just a little more...perfect! Right there! I don't know, it still doesn't feel right."
"Plankton:  Just a few more steps, SpongeBob. Okay, go ahead, take it off!  It's an exact replica of the Krusty Krab kitchen!","It is an exact replica! Here's the sink, the greasy fryers, the squeaky floorboards, and that thing! One Krabby Patty coming up, Mr. Krabs!  Oh...Mr. Krabs!"
"Plankton: Don't cry, SpongeBob! I'll show you it's much better working for me! Is there anything that old skinflint Krabs wouldn't let you have?",Well...there is one thing I've always wanted...  Wow!
Plankton: So now do you have everything you need to make some Krabby Patties?,Well...
Plankton: You ready to make some patties?,Wait ‘til I finish my ice cream!
Plankton:  How about those patties?,Faster! Faster! Faster!
"Plankton: And then the littlest sea-elf said...  Huh? Steady, Plankton! It's all gonna pay off soon enough. Hey there, sleepy head, what do you say?",All this preparation is making me hungry.
Plankton: Me too. You know what would really hit the spot? Why don't you whip us up a couple of Krabby Patties?,Mmmm...I'm kind of in the mood for tacos.
"Plankton:  Good one, SpongeBob. But really, why don't you go ahead and make us a patty?","No, I don't really feel like it!"
"Plankton: But I don't understand.  You have the grill, and the spatula, and the comfy chair.  I rubbed your putrid feet!","Tell you what, half-pint: why don't you ask me later!"
Plankton:  I command you to make me a patty this instant!,No!
Plankton: Don't back sass me!,Do ba da ma!
"Plankton: What?!  That's it, mister! You just lost your brain privileges.  Finished! SpongeBob, come in here! Or should I say RobotBob Sponge...Chef...Pants...  I put the brain in the robot, you know.  You shouldn't have been a spoiled brat. You see, I always get what I want. And I want you to make me a Krabby Patty! Robot SpongeBob:  Dee dee doodle dee dee doo. Response: Why don't you ask me later? Plankton:  What? What?! Robot SpongeBob: Get welded. Plankton:  Wait! I command you make me a Krabby Patty! Robot SpongeBob:   I don't wanna. Plankton: Mr. Krabs:  Well, old girl, this looks like our final chapter.  Huh? Plankton:  I can't take anymore. You've gotta take that yellow nightmare back! It's not worth it. I'm better off stealing a Krabby Patty fair and square. Mr. Krabs: Um...Well...  a deal's a deal, Plankton. He's your headache now. Plankton: Oh, please, have mercy, Krabs! I'll do anything! I beg of you! Mr. Krabs: How 'bout... you give me fifty bucks, and I'll take him off your hands. Plankton: It's a deal! I cheated anyway. Mr. Krabs: Now, be gone with you, you puny pest! Plankton: Thank you!  Ouch.","My brain and I are glad to be back, Mr. Krabs."
"Mr. Krabs: Glad to have you back, lad. Now get to those patties! The lunch rush is a-comin'!","I don't feel like it! Why don't you ask me later, Krabby?  I mean...I'm working all day for free! My treat!"
Mr. Krabs: That's what I thought you said.,"Wake up, Gary."
Gary:  Meow?,We're moving today!
Gary:  Meow?,That's right! We're leaving home. We're going to become peasants!
Gary: Meow.,"No more food.  Sorry, Gary. Peasants only eat mashed-up clamshells.  April Fools!  There ya go, pal!"
Gary: Meow.,"Whew, I'm thirsty!   This is an extreme thirst! Whew, I'm exhausted. I sure can't wait to drink all of these drinks! April Fools!!  ...To me!"
"Squidward: What's he so happy about?  April 1st?  April Fools Day is SpongeBob's favorite holiday!  Mr. Krabs, I can't come in today, I caught something terrible. Mr. Krabs:  What'd ya catch? Squidward: I caught sight of the calendar. Mr. Krabs: Oh, hold on, Squidward, there's someone here to see you. He says he's from the Barnacle Bay Art Museum and he wants to honor you as artist of the month. Squidward: I have arrived.  What's so funny? Where's the art dealer? Mr. Krabs: You just missed him.","Yeah, but he told us to tell you..."
Squidward: Tell me what?,He told me to tell you... April Fools.
"Squidward:  Well, it's been nice working here.  Thanks for everything, Mr. Krabs.","Squidward, wait!"
"Squidward: Just send my last check to the P.O. box, Mr. Krabs!","Wait, Squidward!  It was just a joke! No more jokes on you today, I promise!"
Squidward: You do?,"Sure, there are lots of other willing participants. Right, Mr. Krabs?"
"Squidward: Well, as long as it's not me. Miss Shell: Excuse me, could you tell me where the forks are?","They're riiiight here, lady!"
"Miss Shell:  But, this is a spoon...",APRIL FOOLS!  Welcome to the Krusty Krab. How may I help you?
"Nat:  Yeah, give me two large fries and a Jumbo Krabby Patty.","Hey, what's that?"
"Nat: Well, I didn't see anything...  hey, where'd that other guy go?",April Fools!! I'm right here!!
"Nat:  Hey, that was pretty good. Squidward: What are you doing behind the counter? Tom: Excuse me, can I get a couple of ice cubes in here, please?",Sure! A couple of ice cubes coming up!  Here you go.
Tom: Thanks.  Huh?  Huh?  Ah.,April Fools!
Tom: WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY DRINK?!,I...  I...
Tom: YOU WHAT?!?!,"You asked for a couple of ice cubes in your drink, and I only put in one!"
Tom: I guess that is pretty funny!,"Hey, your shoes untied.  April Fools! You're not wearing shoes!  APRIL FOOOOOLS!"
Squidward: That does it! SpongeBob and his stupid pranks! I'm going to show him what a real prank is all about!,"Oh, boy! Something for me to clean up!"
Squidward: APRIL FOOLS!,Whooaahh!  Whoa! Blblblblblblblblblblblbl...
"Customers: Oh, no!",Whoooooooooooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
"Squidward:  I'll catch you, SpongeBob!  Oops.  April Fools, you little sausage!",...Ohhh! :(
"Squidward: SpongeBob! I was just kidding! C'mon, c'mon. You all know I was just kidding… Right? Wobbles: Aww, man, poor kid. Shubie: That guy has definitely got some issues to work out. Olive green fish: April Fools... jerk. Squidward: Wait, don't go! Man: Hey, you stink! Squidward: Wait, wait, it was a joke! Uh huh...  Why is it whenever I'm having fun, it's wrong? I didn't mean to make him cry. I guess this means I'd better tell SpongeBob I'm sor-eaach.  Huh? I guess this means I'd better apolo-  gii! This is gonna be tougher than I thought.  SpongeBob? Uh, SpongeBob, come out! I've got something to tell you! SpongeBob?  Uhh, I was thinking about today and uh… and it just seems that I may owe you some sort of… This isn't something I normally do, so, listen carefully SpongeBob, because I am about to tell you that I am... What?  Patrick? What are you doing here? Patrick: Digging. Squidward: Why are you wearing that hat? Patrick: Hmm, I don't know. Squidward:  Where's SpongeBob? Patrick: He's in the house. He's impressed. Squidward: With what? Patrick: I don't know, but it must've been pretty good to make him cry like that. Squidward:  SpongeBob, SpongeBob, let me in there!  SpongeBob, you'd better let me in there! I don't want to have to use this!",What do you want?
"Squidward: SpongeBob, I just wanted to say that I'm sorr-yyyy.",What?
Squidward: I'm trying to say I'm  hee-haw-hee-haw!,What?!
"Squidward: I'm just trying to say that I'm...  There's gotta be an easier way to do this.  Well, aren't you going to open it?",I can't. I don't have a bottle opener.
"Squidward: Doh!  SpongeBob, I'm...  SpongeBob, all I am trying to say is that I am...  ...sorry.  There you go.",But I couldn't...
"Squidward: I don't care! I said it! My conscience is clear! Patrick: It must have been pretty good to make him cry like that. Tom: April Fools, jerk. Mrs. Tentacles:  YOU STINK! Squidward: Mother?  All right, all right! I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I admit it, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to hurt you, in fact, SpongeBob, I like you! I like living next door, I like hearing your foghorn alarm in the morning and your high-pitched giggling at night! I also like Gary, Patrick, Sandy, Mr. Krabs, and all the other people I'm forced to be in contact with! And, and, and...",Squidward! Is all that true?
"Squidward: Yes, SpongeBob. Yes, it's all true.",Even the part about the lima beans and the car chase?
"Squidward: What the...? Yes, whatever! But you have to promise not to tell anybody.",I promise.
"Squidward: Really? Everyone: April Fools! Squidward:  April Fools! You're right, April Fools! I just fooled you all!","What would we do without Squidward? Oh, oh."
"Patrick: No, no, just—",Whoa.
"Patrick: It's harder to walk, but worth it.","Ahh, the perfect end to a perfect day: buying ourselves the perfect ice cream."
Patrick: So many flavors. Both: Whoo-hoo!,"Hmm, what brand should we buy, Hogen Duep?"
"Patrick: No, that's too fancy. Both: Rocky road! Patrick: With real rocks!","Rocky road, unlike our friendship, which is a smooth avenue and will never have any bumps."
"Mr. Krabs: Bump.  When did food get so ugly? Mr. Krabs:  Lonely Krab Dinner for One: Now 30% lonelier. Eee, can't believe what they're charging for this frozen debris, and I can't believe they're selling so much of it. But it sure is convenient.","Can you imagine if they had frozen Krabby Patties at the supermarket? Oh, that would be so convenient, everyone in the world could enjoy them."
"Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, that's a million dollar idea that I just had that you just said before me. Mr. Krabs: Hello, welcome to my commercial. Would you like the convenience of a Krabby Patty at home, without the hassle of going to the Krusty Krab? Well, now you can.  Have delicious Krabby Patties any time you want.  They're in your grocer's freezer section. Buy them. I want your money! Did you get that, Pearly-girl? Pearl: Yes, Daddy, and stop babying me! Mr. Krabs: So, Mr. Grouper, what do you think? Don Grouper: Call me Don. Mr. Krabs: Oh, well, okay, Don. Will this make me rich? Don Grouper: Mr. Krabs, if you wanna sell zero Krabby Patties and wind up in the poor house, then I say go with your commercial. Mr. Krabs: Oh. Don Grouper: But if you really want to be rich, keep your mouth shut, and listen to us, sir. Mr. Krabs: Ooh. Okay. Don Grouper: Let me introduce you to the team here at GGK. That's Barry Goby, Rob Koi, and Limia with her team from creative. Everyone, this is Mr. Krabs and a yellow box.","Oh, uh, actually, my name is Spon-"
"Don Grouper: Let's say we give a look-see at what we've cooked up for you. Don Grouper: The Krabby Patty, a mainstay of dining in Bikini Bottom for a very long time,  like an old friend, but not too old, because research shows us old is gross. Limia: Yes, oh, it's absolutely... Barry Goby: Oh, of course... Rob Koi: Just gross. Barry Goby: Yeah, no, it's disgusting. Old executive: Well, I don't think old is gross. Baby executive: Goo-goo, social networking, ah, ah! Don Grouper: Exactly. Now, here are some of the slogans we've been kicking around. Don Grouper: Krabby Patties: Like a friend, but edible.  Krabby Patties: The shut-in's favorite patty.  And finally, Krabby Patties: Shove 'em in your mouth-hole!","Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, I have a slogan! Oh, uh, Krabby Patties: Taste so nice that they... taste nice."
"Mr. Krabs: Let's just leave it to the professionals, boy-o. Don Grouper: The thing is, Frozen Krabby Patties are a convenience for everyone, and we need a campaign that says exactly that. We need a regular guy to represent all consumers.",Me!
Don Grouper: Someone everyone can relate to...,"Oh, me, me!"
"Don Grouper: With a face that says, I love Krabby Patties. Don Grouper: We find that face, and we have our campaign. Mr. Krabs: And I've got the perfect guy for the job. Patrick: Krabby Patties: They taste so nice, that they taste nice.","Hey, that was my slogan."
"Limia: Sorry, yellow box, Patrick has to make a personal appearance at the mall.",I—oh...
"Mr. Krabs: Don, will this commercial really help me make money? Don Grouper: You need to call your bank, Krabs, because they are gonna have to build an extra vault to hold all the extra money. Mr. Krabs:  Ooh, I do declare, Mr. Grouper, I believe I have a case of the vapors. Don Grouper: I told you, call me Don. Mr. Krabs: Don. Don Grouper: Of course, you could double, maybe even triple or quadruple that money, if you... No, forget it. Mr. Krabs: What? Forget what? What? What?! What are you saying? Don Grouper: Well, we ran some numbers and realized that you could make a lot more money if you... changed the formula. Mr. Krabs: How much a lot more? Don Grouper: A lot a lot more. Mr. Krabs: Well, then let's fill her up with filler!","Mr. Krabs, are you changing the secret Krabby Patty formula?"
"Mr. Krabs: Heh, no, I-I can— well, it's just a little tweak, me boy.",But what is filler?
"Don Grouper:  Whoa, hey, this little yellow box sure is full of questions. What do you say we go see where the money's made? Mr. Krabs: Ho-ho, that sounds great! Don Grouper: Take a look around. It's your dream come true. Through the wonders of automation, this factory can make as many Krabby Patties in one minute as you used to make in a week. Take a whiff of the future, Krabs. Does it smell like money? Mr. Krabs:  Oh, yeah.","Hey, why does that barrel say sand?"
"Mr. Krabs: Well, it's imported. It's spelled sand but it's pronounced, filler. Don Grouper: Hey, let's check in on our taste test area. Fish Guy: Hmm. This tastes kind of bad. Limia:  Would you buy it, though? Fish Guy: Well, yeah, for the convenience... and the face of that stupid guy  Though I have noticed a bit of a side effect. Hmm-hmm. Limia:  He loves it. Executive: Great news, Krabs. Sales are going all the way up to the surface of the ocean. Here's your first check. Mr. Krabs: Huh?",Mr. Krabs?
"Mr. Krabs: I'm rich, boy-o, rich!","Great, can we go back to the Krusty Krab now?"
"Mr. Krabs: Yes, yes, we can.","Hooray, finally!"
"Mr. Krabs: Whatcha doing, boy?",Making Krabby Patties.
"Mr. Krabs: Oh, no, you've made your last Krabby Patty.",You mean my last one for the morning rush?
"Mr. Krabs: No, ever.",You mean my last one for today-ever?
"Mr. Krabs: No, I mean forever and ever. You're fired.",Fired?
Mr. Krabs: But I'm ready to re-hire you.,"Oh, please, re-hire me Mr. Krabs. I'll do anything."
"Mr. Krabs: Then follow me. Robot Patrick: This tastes nice. Robot Plankton: Ow, curses, foiled again, ow.",You turned the Krusty Krab into some kind of museum?
"Mr. Krabs: That's right, me boy. It's all history now, but you, you have the most important job of all.  You give tours and sell tchotchkes in the gift shop.","Yeah, but what if someone wants a Krabby Patty?"
"Mr. Krabs: Oh, we've got plenty of Krabby Patties right here in the freezer. Patrick Microwave: Ding. Mr. Krabs: You see? Customers at the museum can cook the patties themselves, like this. Mr. Krabs: Yeah, it's so convenient, see? Squidward: And what about me? Mr. Krabs: Don't worry, Squidward. You're fired. Squidward: Well, do I get re-hired for a new job at the museum too? Mr. Krabs: Heh! No, you're just fired. Squidward: What? No, you don't fire me—I quit! I got my resignation letter all prepared.  Dear Mr. Krabs— Mr. Krabs: Do you have a ticket, sir? Can't be in a museum without a ticket. Squidward: What the—what?!  I-I-I tender my resignation from this greasy establishment. Too long have I toiled under your iron claw. Now I am free—free to live my dreams of being a ballet dancer, ha-ha, and the first chair clarinet in the Bikini Bottom Orchestra, ha-ha, and I am going to finally publish my mystery/thriller novel: 'Dial D for Doily!","Ahem,  hello, and welcome to the Krusty Krab Museum, the original home of the Krabby Patty, now available in the frozen food section of your local supermarket. Oh, and don't forget to buy souvenirs at the gift shop."
"Mr. Krabs: Atta boy, embrace the future! Elevator operator: Going up?",I'm going to a party—a party to celebrate my friend's upcoming 400th commercial.
Elevator operator: Uh-huh.,I brought ice cream. Me and my best friend are gonna share the ice cream. Who knows? Maybe we'll even get a chance to share pants.  Again.
Elevator operator:  You should get out. Now.,"Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me, excuse me, pardon me, excuse me."
"Colonel Sandab: Uh, Patrick, did you order something through the mail? 'Cause a yellow box just arrived for you. Patrick: SpongeBob!","Hey, Patrick."
"Patrick: Oh, I'm sure glad you made it to my party. Colonel Sandab: Uh, excuse me, yellow box, are you feeling a little overheated? Because I do—I say, I do believe that you are melting.","Oh, yeah, I guess I should get this in a freezer. Patrick, where's the kitchen?"
"Patrick: Oh, I don't know. Limia: It's just past the solid gold gym. Take a right at the zoo.","I'll come with you, SpongeBob."
Limia: He can find the kitchen by himself. The press needs some photos of you with your new mascot friends.,Aww.
"Patrick:  Aww. Press: This way, Mr. Star! Hey, Patrick, over here! Over here, right here! Who are you wearing? French Narrator: The next day...","Whoa, oof!"
Squidward: Ow.,Squidward? What are you doing here? I thought you were off following your dreams.
"Squidward: I was. They turned out to be nightmares. Apparently, you need more than 17 years behind a cash register to be qualified for dreams.  I never thought I would say this, but I'm begging you, SpongeBob, let me come back and work at the Krusty Krab Museum.",I guess you could help out the animatronic Squidward. There's something about him that seems a little off.
"Robot Squidward: I love my job. Thanks for coming! Squidward: Totally out of character. Squidward:  I hate everyone.  Huh, much better. French Narrator: Later... Patrick:  Tastes so nice that they— Squidward: They taste like lice! Patrick: Oh, now I gotta start over! Ooh, someone fix that broken robot. Squidward: Huh? Squidward: What are you doing with this—ow! Patrick:  Tastes so nice that they taste nice.","Hey, Patrick, rehearsing your big 400th commercial, huh?"
"Limia: Excuse me, yellow box, Mr. Star is not to be disturbed. He's very, very busy right now.","Yeah, sure. I get it."
"Patrick: But he's my friend. Limia: You're a star. You have no friends. Patrick:  What am I doing again? Don Grouper: Stand over here and say your line. And...action. Patrick: Tastes so nice, it... uh...  blah, blah, blahblahbli-blah... Don Grouper: And..cut! Alright, you guys can fix that in post. Okay? that's a wrap. Let's pack it up. Limia: Okay, and here. And here. Okay, and then sign here. And again here.","Patrick, there's something weird about these Frozen Krabby Patties."
Filmmaker 2: Looks like you've been hitting the patties pretty hard there. Filmmaker 1: Speak for yourself.,"Oh, nothing's been the same since those frozen patties came out.  I miss the old Krusty Krab. I miss Patrick—oof!"
"Limia: Come on, Mr. Star. You've got an 11:00 eyeball waxing. Patrick:  See you later, SpongeBob.",Aww.
"Plankton: Finally, now is my chance to strike.",Welcome to the original Krusty—
"Robot Plankton: Curses, foiled again. Curses, foiled again. Plankton: Pfft, never happened. Plankton: Now to make my escape. Plankton: Aren't you gonna try and stop me?","That'll be $1.99, please."
"Plankton: What do you mean, $1.99? You're not gonna step on me? I've got the secret formula, you know.",Anyone can have a secret formula. We sell them in the gift shop. See? They're all just fakes.  Everything here is a fake!
"Plankton: Eh, forget it. What's the world coming to?  All right, just give me one Frozen Krabby Patty to go. Patrick Microwave: Ding. Plankton:  Yes, you fools! Squidward: Shouldn't we chase after him? He didn't pay.","Oh, what's the point? These Frozen Krabby Patties have ruined my life, Squidward. And it was all my idea. Who am I to fight the future? Sand?! It tastes like sand! Not good sand, either."
Squidward: Of course it does. What do you think Krabs uses as filler?,"Krabby Patties aren't made with sand! They're made with love. Mm! I am going to show the world what a fresh,  not frozen Krabby Patty tastes like, and the first one is for my best friend, Patrick."
"Press: Over here. Right here, Patrick. Right here, right here. One, more, Patrick. Agent: Patrick, baby, sweetheart, have you thought about that feature film I pitched youse? Patrick: That's it! I can't take it anymore! Everybody out! Patrick: I wish things could go back to the way they were. Mm...  I just wanna be able to share one pair of pants with my best friend without it being in the papers.","Freshly grilled Krabby Patty, you and I are going to save the world. And save a friendship. Patrick!"
Patrick: SpongeBob!,"Patrick, the frozen patties are made with sand!"
"Patrick: SpongeBob, what?","Patrick, the Frozen Krabby Patties are made with sand!"
Patrick:  I thought they tasted familiar! Patrick: SpongeBob?,Missed you.
Patrick: I missed you too.,"I got something for you, from one friend to another."
"Patrick: No, no, I don't wanna eat another one of those things! Patrick: Mm! Now that's a real Krabby Patty! Oh, as delicious as our real friendship.","Now that we've saved our friendship, we have to save the reputation of the Krabby Patty."
Patrick: But I have to speak at a shareholders meeting tonight. How am I gonna say nice things about frozen patties now that I know they're filled with sand?,"Well, Patrick, you're just gonna have to listen to your heart... and your stomach."
"Don Grouper: Thank you, everyone, for coming to this gala event celebrating the meteoric success of Frozen Krabby Patties. In honor of this momentous occasion, we are going to premiere our 400th commercial. Mr. Krabs: And here to say a few words is the face of the Frozen Krabby Patty, our own Patrick Star. Come on up, Patrick! Patrick: Good evening, ladies and... the other ones. I know you're all excited to see the 400th commercial, but before we see it, I just want to say... Patrick: That... that...Frozen Krabby Patties are...","Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh."
"Patrick: ...Made with sand! Mr. Krabs:  Oh, no! Don Grouper: That was cute when you were rich.  I'm out of here. Perch Perkins: And in shocking news today, it has been revealed that Frozen Krabby Patties are made with sand. Mr. Krabs: Well, it's gone. Everything I spent me life building is all gone. I'm ruined.  What? Harold: Now that's the taste I remember. Mr. Krabs: That's strange. Mr. Krabs: Mr. Squidward, what is going on in here? Squidward: Uh,  I am Animatronic Squidward. I cannot answer questions. Mr. Krabs: Squidward! Squidward:  It was SpongeBob's idea. Him and Patrick are behind this. They forced me to help. Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, did you do all this?","Absolutely! Well, Patrick helped."
"Patrick: A friend always helps. It's called frelping, and I was very frelpful. Mr. Krabs: But how did you get these customers to eat Krabby Patties? They know they're filled with sand.","The frozen ones are, but these are made fresh."
Mr. Krabs:  Fresh?,"Go on, have a bite."
"Mr. Krabs: No, no I—","Mr. Krabs, just a nibble."
"Mr. Krabs: Here! Mr. Krabs: Ooh, hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo, ooh, the flavor.  The sweet, greasy nectar of the gods. How much are you charging for these patties, boy-o?","Nothing, we're not selling them."
"Patrick: Yeah, we just give them away. Mr. Krabs:  Agh, SpongeBob, me boy, you've done a good thing here, lad, but you could use a little frelp, I think.  How about we partner up, and I become your boss and pay you minimum wage while I work you mercilessly? What do you say?",Yeah! The Krusty Krab is back in business!
"Mr. Krabs: Great, now get back to work! Plankton: Why couldn't I see it before?  The way to get the Krabby Patty formula was so obvious!  Spend an inordinate amount of time training several dozen sea bears to take over your restaurant and force you to give it up!  Nothing can turn them from their central purpose!",Yoo-hoo!  Who wants their tummies tickled?
Plankton: No...  My weapons!  Ouch!,"Sea bears aren't weapons, Plankton.  They're furry buckets of love.  See?  And what do sea bears love more than tummy tickles?  Jellyfish honey! Come and get it!"
"Plankton:  No! Come back! Mr. Krabs:  Why do you keep doing this, Plankton? Plankton:  Heh-heh-heh... Mr. Krabs:  When you mess with me business, ya mess with me money! Plankton:  Er, money's not everything, you know. Mr. Krabs: 'Course it is!  Money makes the world go round, and makes me heart go pound. Plankton:  Well, if you love money so much,  why don't you marry it? Mr. Krabs:  If I could, I would. Plankton:  Would you now...? Mr. Krabs: You still here? Plankton:  Yuhh!  This gives me an idea.  Owww! Mr. Krabs: Ohh... another lonely evening... dumpin' trash...  ...alone.  Huh?  Umm...  Hello? Miss? Mr. Krabs:  Ooh, careful now, careful.  Your ink will run. Cashina: My, you're such a gentleman. Mr. Krabs: Heh.  Yeah, well... so, um... what's a nice denomination like youuu  doin'... on a bench like this? Cashina: My date was supposed to bring me to the bank...  ...but he stood me up! Mr. Krabs:  What??  Hey, if I met the scallywag that stood you up, I'd knock him down.  Dooh! Cashina:  My knight in shining exoskeleton! Mr. Krabs:  The name's Krabs... Eugene Krabs.  And yours? Cashina:  Cashina. You're very sweet. Mr. Krabs: You know somethin'?  You look like a million bucks when you smile.  Cashina, would you make this old crab's day  and allow me to take you to a place where you can buy me dinner? Cashina: I'd love to... Plankton:  ...scam you out of your secret formula, that is. Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha! Mr. Krabs: Whoa! Oof!  Allow me. Cashina: This food is so delicious. Oop! You don't suppose it has a secret formula.  I don't suppose you know anything about secrets... or formulas. Mr. Krabs: Ooh. I do have a very special recipe... Cashina: Yeeeess...? Mr. Krabs:  ...for delicious kisses!  Cashina, would you mind if I kissed you? Cashina:  Oh, Eugene. This is all moving so fast... Plankton:  ...just as I planned. Cashina: Be gentle! Robotic voice: Purse lips. Mr. Krabs:  Wow, what a woman! Plankton: Ugh. Well, I finally did it— I kissed a crab! Mr. Krabs:  Oh, Cashina... Pearl:  Daddy, I want to...  EEWWWW!  Are you kissing a locket with a woman's picture in it?! Mr. Krabs:  Oh, no, no!  I was, uh...  I was polishin'... this jewelry... with me... mouth hole... you see.  Like this!  Right, hmm... Pearl:  Gross! Mr. Krabs: Pearl, me little beluga...  I never thought I'd say this, but...  I may have found you a new mom. Pearl:  No way!  I have seen stepmoms in movies, Dad. She'll make me sweep up the cinders, and then she won't let me go to the ball!  And then I'll never meet my Prince Charming! Mr. Krabs:  Ya know, we're gonna have to have another talk about fantasy and reality. Pearl:  Okay... then what's she like? Mr. Krabs:  Well, she's...  ...everything I've ever wanted in a woman. Pearl:  Blech! Mr. Krabs:  Oh, don't worry, sweetie. Nothing will ever come between us.  She's here! Out of me way!  Hello, me little money stack.  I want you to meet me daughter, Pearl. Cashina:  Pearl, I... love your rouge.  How chic! Pearl:  It's actually a rash. Plankton:  Uhhhh... Teen Talk, Teen Talk...  Ah. Girls like shoes. Cashina:  Well, Pearl, I love your shoes. Pearl:  I'm not wearing shoes. Those are barnacles. Cashina: Oh, uh... heh...  I have some cream for that. Pearl:  Stop trying to mom at me, lady!  I don't need youuu! Cashina:  Well, Pearl, since I'm seeing your father, I hope we can learn to understand each other. Pearl:  You'll never understand me!  In fact, I'm going to make it a point to never be understandable again!  Blarb snobble goober blaaab! Mr. Krabs: Let me talk to her. Cashina:  No. I think I should do this alone. Mr. Krabs:  Oh... I haven't been this nervous since me first boatswain's ball. Cashina:  ...and I was all, You call this a mugging? And then I suplexed him until he gave me my purse back! Mr. Krabs:  Hey-hey, you two! How about inviting me into your inside joke? Eh? Pearl: Oh, you wouldn't get it, Dad. It's a giiirl thing. Mr. Krabs:  Cashina, you know I love ya.  And now me daughter loves ya too. Will you marry me, Cashina? Plankton:  Eeeeeeee... Cashina:  Yes! Yes! Yes! Plankton: Perfect!  When we're married, he'll have to tell me the secret formula!  Yeah! Mr. Krabs:  SpongeBob! You're gonna be me wedding planner.","I'm so honored, Mr. Krabs."
Mr. Krabs: Great!  Here's your budget.,"Mr. Krabs, I am gonna stretch this dollar until it begs for mercy!  No... disrespect for your new bride."
"Patrick:  Huh, hee, whooah-oh-hoo-hoo...!",Would you like our house red or or house yellow?
"Wedding Manager: And now, the couple will exchange their vow. Cashina: Eugene, you have everything I've ever wanted with a man: An exoskeleton, freakishly long eyestalks, and the secret krabby patty formula. Audience: Aww... Mr. Krabs: Cashina, you gave it to my life, but I thought I'd leave the rest of it alone. You showed me once and for all: If money can't buy you love, it can give you love. Audience: Aww... Wedding Manager:  You may now kiss the bride. Cashina: Oh no, what about the bouquet?","Uh... One bouquet coming up, Mrs. Krabs"
Patrick:   Hooray! I win!,It's a shame Plankton couldn't be here.
"Plankton:  Ugh... Uhh... Uhh! Who knew Eugene was so light on his crab legs? Cashina: Eugene, I don't want there to be any secrets between us. Mr. Krabs: Oh, what? Oh, I'll tell you everything. No matter how embarrassed, I wet the bed until I was 40. My armpits smell like tartar sauce when I'm afraid. Cashina: Not those kinds of secrets. Mr. Krabs: Oh, OK. Whatever you want, me sweet. Just ask. Cashina: I want you to tell me... (scheming smile face) the secret Krabby Patty formula! Mr. Krabs: The what? Cashina: The secret formula... is locked away in your heart. Unlock your heart for me, Eugene. Let me in Mr. Krabs: Oh, anything for you, baby. (He looks in both directions, Left and Right) I'm gonna whisper it to you, just in case there's any prying ears out there. Plankton: Oh boy, here it comes! Mr. Krabs: Alright, me sweet. Here it is. (He starts to get emotional) Ugh. I'm gettin' a little emotional. While, I never told anyone the secret... Krabby Patty formula before.  So, here goes.  Erngh. Plankton: (Girl voice) Come on, Krabs  Let it all out! Mr. Krabs: Plankton?! Plankton: No, no, I'm not Plankton  I'm Cashina, you're blushing bride. I.. uh... uh... Am I blushing? Mr. Krabs: You... monster! Plankton: You're not gonna crush me? Mr. Krabs: I've been alone for so long, and for the first time in forever, I felt for someone. Well, I mean something: A pile of cash with lips. It was all too good to be true. Cashina may have not been real, but me feelings were, weren't they? Plankton: Get a hold of yourself, Krabs. Mr. Krabs: Plankton, are you saying it was all just a scheme to you? And you felt nothing? Plankton: You're crazy! I'm out of here, and one day, the formula will be mine! Mark it. Doorman: Oh, hey buddy. I want you to know: although your wife just ran out on you, you still have to tip me. Narrator: Ah, the Krusty Krab. Bikini Bottom's premiere daytime eatery. Where it will be closing time right about... Squidward:  Now! 8:00! So long, suckers! I've got a hot date with a little lady, and her name is:  Clarinet.  What? Tom: Are you open? Squidward:  Read the sign. Tom:  I'll have a Krabby Patty Deluxe and a Double Chili Kelp Fries. Squidward: NO, YOU WON'T. I can't hang out here all night. I've got a life! Tom: Well, fine, if you don't want my money! Mr. Krabs:  Money?!  You mean, if we stayed open later, you'd give us your money? Tom:  Sure! Mr. Krabs: Mr. Squidward,  welcome to the night shift. From now on, the Krusty Krab is open 24 hours a day. Squidward: What!?",Wow! Now we never have to stop working!
"Squidward: Mr. Krabs... Mr. Krabs: See ya in the morning, boys! I can't hang out here all night! I've got a life. Squidward: Mr. Krabs?","Isn't this great, Squidward?! Just you and me together for hours and hours and hours and then the sun'll come up and it'll be tomorrow and we'll still be working!  It'll be just like a sleepover! Only we'll be sweaty and covered with grease!  Are you ready to rock, Squidward?!"
Squidward: No.,Good! 'Cause we've got customers!
Squidward:  Here. Please hit me as hard as you can.,"Pst, Squidward. I'm working in the kitchen  at night!"
Squidward:  Don't hold back.,"Hey, Squidward. Guess what? I'm chopping lettuce...at night.  Look at me, I'm swabbing the bathroom...at night.  I burned my hand!...at night.  Night, night, night, night, night, night, night, night, night, night, night, night, na-na-na-na-night! NIGHT!"
"Squidward: WILL YOU PLEASE?! Here,  give me a moment's peace and take out the trash!",All right!  Taking out the trash. Taking out the trash...at night.  You mean outside?
"Squidward: That's where the dumpster is, yes.","I don't know, Squidward,  it's kinda dark out there."
Squidward: But I thought you liked the night shift.,You're right!  FOR THE KRUSTY KRAB!  AHHHHHaahhAAAhhhhhhAahhaAAAAAAHHHaaaAaaAAaAhhhhAAhhahahAAHh!  Piece of cake.
Squidward: So you're not afraid?,"Pfft, nah."
"Squidward: Well I am. Especially after,  well, you know.",What? What do I know?
Squidward: You don't remember? It was all over the news.,"Tell me, tell me!"
"Squidward: No, no, no, I probably shouldn't. It would ruin the night shift for you.","What happened, what happened, what happened!?"
Squidward: You mean you've never heard the story of the  Hash-Slinging Slasher?,The Slash-Bringing Hasher?
Squidward: The Hash-Slinging Slasher!,"The Sash-Ringing, the Trash-Singing, Mash-Flinging,  The Flash-Springing, Ringing, The Cr-Crash-Dinging, daa."
"Squidward: Yes. The Hash-Slinging Slasher. But, most people just call him The Ha--- because that's all they have time to say before he gets them!",Tell me the story!
"Squidward: Years ago at this very restaurant, the Hash-Slinging Slasher used to be a fry cook - just like you - only clumsier. And then, one night, when he was cutting the patties ...it happened.",He forgot the secret sauce?
Squidward: No.,He didn't wash his hands?
Squidward: No!,Irregular portions?
Squidward: No!! He cut off his own hand by mistake!,"You mean like this?  Or like this?  Or this?  Or this?  But what about this! Or this, or this, or this, or..."
Squidward:  Except he wasn't a sponge.,So?
Squidward: So it didn't grow back!,"OH, NO!!!"
"Squidward: And he replaced his hand with a rusty spatula. And then, he got hit by a bus! And...at his funeral, they fired him! So now, every...what day is it?",Tuesday.
"Squidward: Tuesday night, his ghost returns to The Krusty Krab to wreak his horrible vengeance.",But tonight's Tuesday night!
Squidward: Then he'll be coming.,How will we know?
"Squidward: There are three signs that signal the approach of the Hash-Slinging Slasher. First: the lights will flicker on and off. Next... Harold:  Dude, can I have some ketchup? Squidward: Oh, here you go.  Next: the phone will ring and there will be nobody there.  And finally: the Hash-Slinging Slasher arrives in the ghost of the bus that ran him over.  Then he exits the bus and crosses the street without looking both ways because he's already dead!  Then he taps on the window with his grizzly spatula hand...",No.
Squidward: He opens the door...  ...he slowly approaches the counter!  And you know what he does next?,What?
Squidward: You really want to know?,What?
Squidward: Are you sure you want to know?,"WHAT, WHAT, WHAT DOES HE DO?!?!"
"Squidward:  He gets ya!  SpongeBob...  SpongeBob I wa...  I was ju...  I was jus...  SPONGEBOB, I WAS JOKING!!",What?
Squidward: It's not true! None of it's true!,It's not?
Squidward: Of course not. Nobody has a spatula for a hand. It was all a joke.,"Ohhhhh... Isn't this great, Squidward?  There's never time to wash the ceiling during the day."
"Squidward:  Open 24 hours a day. What a stupid idea! Who wants a Krabby Patty at three in the morning? Patrick:  Oh, boy! Three A.M.! Squidward: Just look at this place. It's like a ghost town in here!  Very funny, SpongeBob.",What?
"Squidward: And the lights will flicker on and off, just like the story. I get it.","Hey, Squidward, how are you doing that without moving the switch?"
"Squidward: I'm not doing it. It must be the stupid, faulty wiring in here. This place isn't built to run 24 hours a day!  What, what, hello? Hello? Hello?","Nice try, Squidward."
"Squidward: Nice try, what?","The phone will ring and there will be no one there.  Oh, you crack me up."
"Squidward: SpongeBob, I'm not doing this.  Oh no, calm down, calm down. All right, what was it? There was the lights,  and the phone,  ...and the walls will ooze green slime?!?!  Oh, wait. They always do that. But what was that third thing?",I didn't know the buses ran this late.
Squidward: They don't!,"Well, they're dropping someone off."
"Squidward:  The Sash-Ringing, Flash-Singing, the Bash-Pinging...",The Hash-Slinging Slasher!
Squidward: At last you understand! We're doomed!,"No, that's not it.  I am just so touched that you would go through the trouble to dress up as a ghostly fry cook and stand on the other side of the street, just to entertain me. You must really like me!"
SpongeBob and Squidward: The Hash-Slinging Slasher!!!!,He's going to flip me! Get away! Get away!
"Squidward: SpongeBob, no matter what I've said, I've always sort of liked you!","Squidward, I used your clarinet to unclog my toilet!"
Squidward: Huh?,Get away! Get away! You're not welcome here!
"Richard: Can I have a job application? I brought my own spatula.  I called here earlier, but I hung up 'cause I was nervous.",Do you have references?
"Squidward: Wait, if that was you on the phone and you on the bus, then who was flickering the lights? SpongeBob, Squidward and Richard:  Nosferatu! Nosferatu: Cloud father:  Whoa.  Hmm. Cloud mother: Oh! Drizzle: Huh?  Ma? Pa? Gale Doppler: I'm Gale Doppler with the big weather! Well, just as I predicted, those severe thunderstorms are moving to the southeast, and I guarantee it's gonna be nothing but sunny skies for the rest of the week.  This is Gale Doppler, and I broadcast the forecast that's never wrong!  Heh, heh.","Huh?  Whoa-boing!  Hah! Sunny skies all week?  Hot diggity!  Rain.  But-but Gale Doppler is never wrong. Huh? Hm. What...?  Hm?  Aw, it's a little baby storm cloud. Hello, little cloud. Nice to meet you."
Drizzle:,"Oh, you're crying. I thought you were raining."
Drizzle: Huh?,"Oh, now don't be scared. SpongeBob knows just what a growing storm cloud needs.  Hot steam."
Drizzle: Huh?,"Well, okay, I don't see any clouds, so I'm just gonna take a walk."
Drizzle: Huh?,"Tut-tut, it looks like rain. Hah!  Oh, hello there.  Aw, who's a cute cumulous?  I always wanted to have a pet cloud formation. I gonna name you...  Drizzle. Hey, good visibility! And gusty winds from the southeast. Um. A clam eating a telephone. A fur chandelier! A lamp! A shoe factory! A continental breakfast!"
Drizzle: Ooh.,A chicken!
Drizzle:,"Oh, I am so good at this. Sorry. Ee... Bad Drizzle. Bad.  Well, all right, not that bad. Okay, let's go home. I'm sorry, Drizzle, but you can't go in the house until you're housebroken."
Gary:  Meow.,I'll check on you later.
Drizzle: Whoo-hoo!,"It's later!  Who wants a steaming hot bowl of steam?  Ah! Drizzle!  Yow! Hot, hot, hot, hot, hot! Where art thou, Drizzle? Oh, what unfortunate forecast be this?  Oh, wait. There he goes. Come back, Drizzle! Come back!"
"Drizzle: Whoa! Mary: Oh, get off the road! Nat Peterson:  It's raining snails and worms! Gale Doppler:  That's impossible! I called for sunny skies and for 35 years I broadcast the forecast that's never wrong. Nat Peterson: This just in: Gale Doppler is wrong! Gale Doppler:  Huh? Gale Doppler:  Ah! I see the trouble now, folks. That is what they call an unpredictable storm front.  But don't worry.  I'm gonna suck him right out of the sky to save my reputation, after these messages. Debbie Rechid: Are you constipated? Sure, we all are.  Thank goodness there's new—","Drizzle! Drizzle, where are you? Excuse me. Have you seen a little storm cloud about yea big?"
"Gale Doppler: I got him! Naughty nimbus, nobody messes with my flawless forecasts. It's back to sunny skies for Bikini Bottom.","Drizzle! Drizzle! Drizzle!  Oh, there you are, Drizzle.  Gale Doppler!  You're my favorite well-eyed weather man! Oh, thanks for finding my lost pet, Mr. Doppler. Time to go home, Drizzle."
"Gale Doppler: I'm sorry, square face. This cloud is a danger to the public. And I'm sending him straight to cloud heaven.  I'm Gale Doppler, and I control the weather.","Hey, Doppler.  You're not the only one who knows how to use a leaf blower, sucker. We did it, Drizzle. We put a stoppler to the doppler. And I predict sunny skies for the rest of our lives."
Drizzle: Huh? Gale Doppler: Ooh! That's a nasty low pressure system from the north!,"Please, Mr. Doppler, don't send Drizzle to cloud heaven!"
Gale Doppler: That's just an expression. He's not going anywhere.,"Phew, that's a relief."
Gale Doppler:  I'm gonna drop him in this dehumidifier and dissolve him. Drizzle:,"Dissolve him?! What?!  Please, Mr. Doppler! Drizzle's a good cloud! He doesn't deserve to dissolve!"
"Gale Doppler: I've got zero visibility. Let go of my eyes, square face!",Drizzle!
"Gale Doppler: I'm in the middle of a severe thunderstorm— And we're bringing it to you li— Gale Doppler: I'm Gale Doppler, and I actually am the weather!  Huh? Uh-oh.",Uh-oh.
Gale Doppler:  My body is cold! Gale Doppler: I don't want to be the weather anymore. It hurts!,"Excuse me, Drizzle. I don't mean to parade on your rain, but could you please put Gale down? Whoa!  Huh? Oh, no! Not more storm clouds."
Gale Doppler:  Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Gale Doppler: No! Drizzle: What?  Aw.,"Holy hurricane, they're Drizzle's parents!"
"Cloud father:  Mm, mm.  Hmm? Gale Doppler: You know, everybody complains about the weather, but my next guests actually do something about it. Did you two always want to be storm clouds? Cloud mother and Cloud father: Gale Doppler: I'm Gale Doppler, and I could probably use an ambulance,  right about now!","Good-bye, my little foul weather friend. I'll never forget you, come rain or shine."
Drizzle: Huh?,"Aw, thank you, Drizzle. Don't worry, I'll water him and walk him every day."
Drizzle:  Whoo-hoo!,"Bye!  Aw, I'm gonna name you Drizzle Jr.  And I know just where to keep you too."
Everyone: Aww! Gale Doppler:  Aww.,"Good morning, Drizzle Jr. Not too hot but not too cold."
Drizzle Jr.: Uh-huh.,"97, 98, 99, 100. Okay, Gary, let's do the other side now. Gary, can you hear that?  Oh Squidward, it's you. I thought I heard something."
"Squidward: SpongeBob, I've been sitting here motionless for 45 minutes. What could you possibly have heard me doing?",Breathing.
"Squidward: SpongeBob, I will give you $5 if you let me enjoy the rest of my morning, in peace.",Okay!
"Squidward: Hey, I could have sworn I had $5 in here.","I have it, Squidward, you gave it to me to leave you alone yesterday.  Squidward, you can have the $5 back. Mr. Krabs says--"
Squidward: I don't care what Mr. Krabs says! I just want--,Coffee rain!
Squidward: It's hot chocolate.,"Chocolate rain!  Squidward!  Squidward, wait!"
Squidward: It's locked!,Squidward! Squidward!
"Squidward: Huh? The key! Oh, where did I put that stupid...",Squidward! Squidward!
"Squidward: Oh, why can't I just find?",Squidward?
Squidward: What?!,"You left your keys on the table back there.  Hey, Squidward?"
Squidward: Yes?,Didn't you used to have one of those cucumber bicycles?
"Squidward: Oh,  that was a recumbent bicycle, and I sold it.",Why?
Squidward: So I could get further away from you!,"Okay, I'll see you later then, Squidward."
"Squidward: Bon voyage, nincompoop!  What the?  Can I help you, officer? Policeman: No, but you can help yourself to this ticket. Squidward:  Ticket? Officer, please! I have inpeckable boat smarts! I pried myself in obtaining an un-soiled driving record! It's all that I have! Policeman: Well, you can have it again, right after you complete boating school. Squidward: Bo-bo-bo-bo-bo?  Boating school.  Oh well, it's just one day out of your life Squiddy. How bad can it be?","Oh, Squidward!"
Mrs. Puff: Good morning class. Would everyone please take a seat?,"Psst, Squidward, sit here. Here."
"Squidward: Um, excuse me, there doesn't seem to be any empty seats left. Mrs. Puff: But there's one right next to SpongeBob. Squidward: Do you mind?","Don't worry Squidward, we're boating buddies now! I'll teach you everything I know, and then we can."
"Squidward: We won't be doing anything, because there is no we! Understand? Mrs. Puff: Quiet in the front please.","Oh, I understand. I understand perfectly, boating buddy."
"Mrs. Puff: Okay class, how about we get to know our new students, by telling each other why we were sentenced to I mean why we are enrolled in boating school. Student: Um, I got caught speeding. Mrs. Puff: Very good. Next. Student: I don't see what's so very good about it. Mrs. Puff: No, I didn't mean very. Student:  I know exactly what you meant. Mrs. Puff: Next.","Oh, I am here because I."
"Mrs. Puff: We all know why you're here, SpongeBob. What about you, sir? Squidward: Me? Mrs. Puff: Yes. Would you like to tell the rest of the class, why you're with us today? Squidward: Why I'm.  All right, I'll tell you. I was trying to get away, from him! He is the bane, of my existence! Mrs. Puff: Yours too? Uhh. What I meant to say was, please come up to the chalkboard, and draw a diagram of the incident. Squidward: Gladly.  It all started when I left my house. And then, he appeared. He made, an immediate right turn, and parked, here.  Seeing the oncoming hazard, I looked both ways, and proceeded safely toward my vehicle. It was then, that I realized that I was being followed, at an unsafe distance. So, in order to create more optimal driving conditions, I was then forced to par-take in  evasive action. And by increasing speed slightly, I created a safety cushion, while in-invertenttly attracting the attention, of said law enforcement official. May I sit down now, sweet cheeks? Mrs. Puff: Why, certainly. And perhaps now, SpongeBob would like to come up, and illustrate his side of the story. Squidward: His side?","Well, first, I started over here. And then I went way over here. Do-do-do-do, like that. Then, I went around like this, and over here like that, and across this lane, and down here like this, and then  and then I went around, and stopped right here."
"Everyone: SpongeBob and Squidward, best boating buddies, forever.",Do you like it Squidward?
Squidward: Shut it.,"Ah, lunch time, eh boating buddy?"
"Squidward: I'll have to eat over here, like in grade school.","Squidward, do you have any mustard in there?"
"Squidward: Mmm, Bon appétit, Squiddy.  You've ruined my morning, you've ruined my lunch, and you're ruining my... Mrs. Puff: Okay class, it's time for our behind the wheel lesson. Squidward, you'll be riding with SpongeBob. Squidward: Eh, didn't see that coming. Mrs. Puff:  Now, we're going to take this nice and slow. SpongeBob, what do we do when pulling away from the curb?","Uh, step on the gas?"
"Mrs. Puff: Good. Nice and easy. Now let's slowly... Squidward: SpongeBob, look out!  SpongeBob, give me that wheel!","I got it, I got it."
"Squidward: Just let go of it! Grandma: Hooligans! Scientest 1: Johnson, I finally figured out a way to shrink an ordinary mail man, down to the size of a grain of sand. Scientist 2: How? Scientist 1: By using this shrink ray. Scientist 2: Mother of mercy!  Where'd they go? Scientist 1: There! They're heading right for that discarded potato chip. Scientist 2: What's the matter? Scientist 1: Potato chips are his favorite snack.  Johnson! No! Scientist 2: No, no, no. Cowboy: I never will understand these city folk.","Hey, where'd Squidward go?"
"Squidward: I was just leaving. Mrs. Puff: Okay class, it's time to take our final exam. Please have your pencils ready.","Pst, hey, boating buddy, if you need any help, I've taken this test hundreds of times, and-"
"Squidward:  How many times do I have to tell you?! I am not your buddy! I don't need your help, and I don't need you, ever! Now just kindly let me take this stupid test, so I can get out of here, and never have to see you again, for the rest of my life!","Okay Squidward, if that's the way you want it."
"Squidward: Thank you. Mrs. Puff: 3 more minutes class. Squidward: SpongeBob? SpongeBob, I need your help. Mrs. Puff: 2 more minutes. Squidward: SpongeBob, please? This is important.","You said you didn't need my help, Squidward, and that you didn't need me."
"Squidward: No no, I didn't. I never said that.  I don't need your help, and I don't need you!  Jerk!  All right, I said it. But that was before.",Before what?
"Squidward: Before before. Mrs. Puff: 1 more minute, class. Squidward: Before we were,  boating buddies.",Yay!
"Mrs. Puff: Okay class, time’s up. Squidward: Time can't be up. I didn't even get a chance to fill in a single answer. What am I supposed to do? Mrs. Puff: You do the same thing that everybody else does who failed the test, you take it again next week. Squidward: Next week?","Don't worry Squidward, I've never gotten one answer right on this test.  But we'll meet again next week, at Mrs. Puff's boating school! ♪ Workin' at the Krusty Krab! Workin' at the Krusty Krab! La, la, la, la! Loo...♪ Squidward? Squidward?  Squidward, are you okay?"
Squidward: Hm? Oh! I couldn't be better!,"Mr. Krabs! It happened again, Mr. Krabs!"
Mr. Krabs: What are you talking about?,It's Squidward!
Squidward:,What is it about the third Wednesday of every month that makes Squidward so happy?
Mysterious man: Psst. Squidward? Squidward: Roger! Is that you? Mysterious man: Tonight's the big night! Squidward:,These camouflage outfits should help us find out what Squidward's secret Wednesday secret is!
"SpongeBob and Patrick: Squidward: SpongeBob and Patrick: Squidward: SpongeBob and Patrick: Squidward: Hello, Brother Roger. Squidward and Brother Roger: Brother Roger: Come right in, Brother Squidward. Squidward: Thank you. Lodge members: Squidward: Ah. This almost makes the other three hundred and fifty-three days worth living for. Lodge leader: For centuries, cephalapods have had but one nemesis. Let he among you who wishes to join the lodge face your greatest fear. Cantankerous Moray Eelius! Lodge members: Cantankerous Moray Eelius: Huh? New lodge member: Squidward: I'll never forget my initiation ceremony. New lodge member: Cantankerous Moray Eelius: Lodge members: Brother Roger: SpongeBob and Patrick:",Yeah! Way to go!
"Patrick: Way to go! Lodge members: Lodge leader: SpongeBob and Patrick: Squidward: SpongeBob! Patrick! Did you follow me here? Lodge leader: Brother Squidward! For thousands of years, no outsiders have witnessed this sacred initiation. You have desecrated the sanctity of this lodge! Squidward: But...but, I..I...I.... Squidward and SpongeBob: Squidward: I can't believe it. They kicked me out of the Cephalopod Lodge.",Do we get to join the lodge?
Squidward: Were you dropped on your head when you were a baby?,Huh! How did you know?
Squidward: Psychic powers. Hey! Where's Patrick?,Maybe he got to join the lodge!
Patrick:,Or... maybe not. They didn't let you join either?
Patrick: Nah. I found the institution had nothing of to offer me. I was stagnating.,"Hey, where's Squidward?"
"Patrick: Hold on. Squidward: Patrick: Found Squidward. Squidward: The last thing in my life I really enjoyed. And SpongeBob ruined it, too. Patrick: Well, at least you still have the hat. Squidward: Yeah.  I do, don't I? Brother Roger: Eh, hem.",You still have your robes.
Squidward:  You can look now.,"Don't you worry, Squidward. I'm sure if Patrick and I just explain what happened, they're sure to let you back in."
"Brother Roger: What is it? Oh, it’s you two.","We just came to explain that Squidward had no idea that we followed him to the lodge. So, it's not his fault."
Patrick: Yeah. Not his fault. Brother Roger: Then who's fault was it? Patrick: Was it my fault?,"No, it wasn't your fault, Patrick."
"Patrick: Thanks, SpongeBob. And it wasn't your fault either. Brother Roger: Well, if it wasn't your fault, and it wasn't Squidward's fault, who's fault was it? Patrick: Uh...maybe it's your fault. Brother Roger: Squidward is never allowed in this lodge again! Squidward: SpongeBob! Are they letting me back in the lodge?!",No. You can't set foot in the lodge.
"Patrick: Ever! Squidward:  Oh. Now that you two have ruined the last good thing in my life,...I think I'll go slam my head in the door. Repeatedly.","Squidward, wait! I'm sorry we got you kicked out of your lodge. Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?"
Squidward: No. Why didn't you just make up your own dumb club instead of ruining mine?,"That's it!  Squidward! We'll make our own club! And it'll be so much better than that dumb old Cephalop-olaphapa Lodge! And you can be our leader! How great does that sound, O Mighty One?! Wanna join our club, Patrick?"
Patrick: Dog-pile on Squidward! Squidward: Aaahhhh! .,"Squidward, you're the lodge expert. What do we do first?"
Squidward: Say good-bye. SpongeBob and Patrick: Good-bye! Squidward: Morons.,"So anyway, Squidward, I was thinking we should be working on our secret lodge initiation."
Patrick:  Hey.,Patrick and I have come up with a secret hand-shake.
"SpongeBob and Patrick: Patty-cake, patty-cake, sailor man! Bake me a cake as fast... Squidward: SpongeBob! That's not a secret hand-shake! Everybody knows Patty-cake!",Not the way we do it.
Patrick: We don't use our pinkies. Squidward:  Out! Patrick: I don't think Squidward wants to join our lodge.,"Oh, sure he does. He just needs a little push."
"Squidward: Oh, what now? I'm coming! What do you... Great. Must be one of SpongeBob's pranks.","Let's move. Okay, we can let him out now."
Squidward: Are you insane? You kidnapped me?,"Oh, we didn't kidnap you. We just brought you here for..."
Patrick: Initiation. Squidward: What? What kind of initiation?,A very special initiation.
"Squidward: Oh, boy. Look at the time! Gotta run. Patrick:","Would you care to go first, Brother Patrick?"
"Patrick: After you, Brother SpongeBob.","Ow! Ooo, ooo! Ow!  Brother Patrick."
Patrick: Brother SpongeBob.  Aaahhhh!  Brother Squidward. Squidward:  Eee-aahhhhhhh! Unknown person: Squidward: What's this? Can it be? My lodge robes! I'm back in the lodge! I gotta try 'em on!  Huh? This can't be right! These aren't my cephalopod robes! SpongeBob and Patrick:,They sure aren't. They're your uniform for your new lodge! Welcome to the first official meeting of...The Feather Friends.
Squidward: Feather Friends?,Somebody already had Feather Buddies.
Patrick: Yeah. Those Feather Buddies better hope they don't run into us in a dark alley. Squidward: Grrrr.  I don't want to be a Feather Buddy!,Do you still wanna be a Feather Friend?
Squidward: Grrr...no.,"Aw...Squidward, I hadn't realized how special your lodge was to you. I'll get you back in that club. And I know just how to do it.  Everything we need is in this drawer."
Squidward: A sock?,"Not just a sock...a disguise. Patrick and I will climb inside the sock and pretend to be a giant albino eel. We will then gain entrance to the lodge, and frighten everyone inside. Once they're good and terrified, you, Squidward, will storm in, defeat that giant eel, and rescue all the lodge members. You'll be a hero, Squidward. They'll half to let you back in the lodge!"
"Patrick: Hm. It's genius. But, I see one flaw in your plan. Squidward: One flaw? Patrick: That sock is way too small.",It is. Time to break out the heavy artillery.
"Patrick: That's what I'm talkin' about! Albino eel (SpongeBob): Okay, Squidward. Just give us five minutes and then do your stuff. Albino eel (SpongeBob and Patrick): Squidward: Huh. Narrator: 5 minutes later....... Squidward:  This is ridiculous, No one is dumb enough to believe SpongeBob and Patrick are a..a....giant albino eel! Lodge members: Patrick: Roooo!",Roar!
Lodge members: Patrick: Roo!,Roar!
"Squidward: Unbelievable. Lodge member: Squidward! Brother Roger: Look out! Lodge member: There's a giant albino eel on the loose! Squidward:  Do not worry. I will save you. Be gone, foul beast, or, I will smite thee. SpongeBob and Patrick: Oh! Oh, ow! Ow! Oof! Lodge members:  Squidward! Squidward! Squidward! Squidward: Brother Roger: SpongeBob and Patrick:","Way to go, Squidward."
Patrick: It works! Squidward:  Whoa!,"Don't worry, Squidward. We still have the Feather Friends."
"Patrick: But you'll have to pass the initiation again. Squidward: Aaah! No! Mr. Krabs:  Hmm. What could be the doings of this stranger? Plankton:  This looks suspicious. Mr. Krabs and Plankton:  What's the big idea? State Officer: Mr. Eugene Krabs and Sheldon Plankton? Plankton and Mr. Krabs: Yes? State Officer: These are for you. Plankton and Mr. Krabs:  Updated city ordinance: Fast Food Restaurants cannot be within 100 feet of each other. Huh? State Officer: The Krusty Krab and The Chum Bucket are located too close together. One of your restaurants is going to have to be bulldozed. Plankton and Mr. Krabs:  B - B - B - Bulldozed!? Plankton:  99 feet! Mr. Krabs:  It's true! Plankton:  Ah!  Oof! Mr. Krabs:  Which one of us is gonna get bulldozed? State Officer: That's for you two to decide. Mr. Krabs:  I'm not going anywhere!. You're the one who is moving! Plankton:  You are moving! Mr. Krabs: Ohoho! No, you are! Plankton: Oh, no I'm not! State Officer:  Gentlemen, you have 24 hours to decide which of you moves. That's the law around here! Mr. Krabs:  Pack your bags pipsqueak! Plankton:  You might as well close up shop right now, Krabs. Your customers won't miss a thing. Mr. Krabs:  At least I have customers. Plankton:  Oh yeah!? Well I'm gonna put together a... uh... a petition of customer signatures. Mr. Krabs: Ha! Good luck with that ludicrous idea! .  Petition?  Squidward! SpongeBob! Mr. Krabs:  You two take these petitions to save The Krusty Krab and secure as many signatures as you can!","Sir, yes, sir!"
"Squidward:  Oh yeah, I'm definitely gonna do this.","And I'm gonna be the first signature. There and how about you Squidward? Could we count on your support?  Squidward? Hello, Mrs. Puff!"
Mrs. Puff:  No! Stay away! I can't afford to go back in the slammer!,I'm just here if you would sign this petition. It'll save the Krusty Krab from getting bulldozed!
Mrs. Puff: Why would I care about that?,"Mrs. Puff, don't you care what happens to Mr. Krabs? Squidward? Gary? Me?"
"Mrs. Puff: Not particularly. Delivery Man:  Excuse me? I'm looking for a Mrs. Puff. Mrs. Puff: Yes, that's me. Delivery Man: Your new boat's here. Just sign here, please.","Speaking of signatures, would you sign this petition to save the Krusty Krab?"
Delivery Man: Why would I care about the Krusty Krab?  I'll unload the boat.,"Don't worry, Mr. Delivery Man. I got this."
Mrs. Puff: Noo!,"Excuse me, sir. Would you like to sign a petition to save the Krusty Krab?"
Repair Man:  Why would I want to do that? The food there is dangerous.,"Sir, where did you get this?"
Repair Man: It was on my windshield. They're all over the place!,This must be Plankton's dirty plan.  Mr. Krabs! Mr. Krabs!
"Nat: Hey, Mr. Krabs! Why are your patties dangerous? Everyone: Yeah! Mr. Krabs:  I...I...uh... My...my patties are dangerous because...because they're so...uh...uh...they're so-",Delicious!
"Nat:  Kid's got a point. Mr. Krabs:  Thanks for saving me shell, boy!","Don't thank me, Mr. Krabs. Thank the Krabby Patty."
"Plankton:  That does it! Karen: Throwing in the napkin, are we? Plankton:  My restaurant. My laboratory. My evil inventions. All about to be flattened! Just give me a moment to say my goodbyes.  Farewell, stench-vision goggles. Farewell, Chum Bucket replicator. Farewell, hypnotizer helmet. We had some diabolical times together, didn't we?  So long, sonic cannon that destroys every known material in the universe.","Plankton, I'm sorry.  Sorry I made my Krabby Patty so delicious."
"Plankton:  Hey, get lost! I'm the only one that weeps around here.",But I can't help it think that I somehow had a hand in your misery. Or at least a spatula. Nobody would sign a petition to bulldoze the Krusty Krab unless you pay them. And who would be low enough to do that?
"Plankton:  Karen, are you thinking what I'm thinking? Karen: Before you start buying up those petition signatures, you should know that our checking account balance is  negative $375. Plankton: Not to worry, my lady. I have a plan. Mr. Krabs:  Hmm... Now there's something you don't see every day.",Three-Headed Jake? He comes in every day.
"Mr. Krabs: Not him. I'm referring to the large crowd gathered at the Chum Bucket. It appears they are actually giving Plankton... money?! Plankton: You just got a steal, sir. You'll get many villainous years out of that little number.  I'll forget this restaurant nonsense, Karen. I should've opened a yard sale business years ago.  Step up, fishes. Every evil invention is price to move! Charlie: I'll take this riptide generator off your hands! Nat:  I'll give you $1,000 for the stench-vision goggles. Pilar:  Hey, how much for the computer? Plankton: How much you got? Karen:  Plankton! Plankton: All right. My wife's not for sale.  But everything else must go!  Well, wifey. Looks like it's time to proceed to the next phase.   Who wants free money? Dennis:  Free?! Debbie:  Money?! Nat: Free money! Plankton:  Okay, okay. One at a time, please.  To receive your free money,  just sign this petition to save the Chum Bucket. Pilar: Ooh, ooh. Me first.  Yeah! Mr. Krabs:  This is outrageous!  You see what Plankton's doing, don't ya? He's undermining the democratic process by lab raging his temporarily financial windfall in order to buy every signature in Bikini Bottom.  There's 20, 40, 50... We just bought mine 4 times! And me tasty food is one thing.  But how can I compete with free money?  I'm doomed! Well... clean around, boy. Border up. I'm afraid we're closing up for good.",Mr. Krabs is hurt so much!
"Squidward:  Whoo... priceless. Plankton:   Thank you, thank you! I've got what I need!  I got the signatures!  All but one. Guess I won't be hiring the yellow sponge anytime soon.  But none of that matters now! Cause the majority is on my side! Which in a democracy is all you need. Mr. Krabs:  It's time. State Officer:  So, who's getting bulldozed today? Plankton:  Oh, not me, your bureaucraticness. I completed my petition. State Officer: The people have spoken. Step aside, Mr. Krabs. Mr. Krabs: But... but...   No! I'm not going anywhere! State Officer: Please comply, Mr. Krabs. It'll be quick and painless. Mr. Krabs: If you wanna bulldoze me restaurant,  it's gonna be long and painful!","Stand your ground, Mr. Krabs! We are right behind you, right, Squidward?  Squidward?"
"Squidward: State Officer:  Okay, now this is really your last chance. Mr. Krabs:  I'm never leaving the Krusty Krab! State Officer: Fine. Have it your way. Plankton:  Bring it on! Bring the destruction! Mr. Krabs:   Goodbye, Krusty Krab!   Eh? State Officer: Thank you for your cooperation. Plankton:  What?! Excuse me, sir, but, uh...  you forgot to level the place! Mr. Krabs:  Uhh... yeah. State Officer: Demolition is outside of my purview. I simply ensure that restaurants comply with the 100 foot ordinance.  That's 1 more foot. Perfect! Plankton:  But that's not fair!",So you're not gonna destroy the Krusty Krab?
State Officer: No...,"Thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank you! Thank you, thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!  Oh, dear."
"Plankton:   Come on! Let's do this! I wanna see some destruction!  I think I've seen enough. Narrator:  Oh, a dark and stormy night. It's nights like these that remind me of the time Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob thought they killed a health inspector.  It was a bright and sunny morning. Mr. Krabs:  Ah...That smells like...  ...the health inspector!  Wash your hands, clean the floors, change your underwear! The health inspector's here!  If he finds one health violation, he'll close us down for good. We've got to do everything in our power to make sure he passes the Krusty Krab.","But, Mr. Krabs, there's no reason to worry.  The Krusty Krab is the most perfect place in the universe."
"Mr. Krabs: You really haven't got any brains at all, have you, son?  Just go out there and give him what he needs; pour on the charm. Sweet talk him.",What can I get for you... handsome?
Mr. Krabs:  We're doomed. Health Inspector Yellowtail: I'm going to need you to bring me one of everything on the menu.,"Excellent choice, my darling. Coming right up!  He wants one of everything."
Mr. Krabs: Then we'll give him a smorgasbord!  The future of the Krusty Krab is at stake!,"Try the Krusty Kelp Dog, sir!"
Mr. Krabs: The Buttered Barnacles are a touch of heaven.,The Powdered Driftwood is exquisite.
Mr. Krabs: Fresh Sludge Pudding?,More Diet Red Tide?
"Mr. Krabs: Some Fried Flotsam? Health Inspector: Please, gentlemen!  Leave me to finish my work in peace.",And did the voluptuous inspector enjoy his meal?
"Health Inspector:  So far, so good. I just need to try a plain Krabby Patty and my inspection will be finished.","He says if he gets one more Krabby Patty, he'll pass us for the inspection!"
"Mr. Krabs:  Do you know what this means, dear boy? We're in the clear! Realistic Fish Head: We interrupt this can-can for a special news bulletin. Be on the lookout for a man, who's been passing himself off as a health inspector in order to obtain free food. That's all for now. Mr. Krabs:  FRRRRREEEEEEE FOOOOOOOOOD?!?!?!",Maybe we oughta tell our guy about the phony impostor.
"Mr. Krabs: You loony loofah, he is the impostor! We've been duped!",Duped!
Mr. Krabs: Bamboozled!,We've been smeckledorfed!
"Mr. Krabs: That's not even a word, and I agree with ya!  Look at him, I bet he never changes his underpants.",I bet he bites whale bubbles.
"Mr. Krabs: I bet his mom bought him that hat.  If that impostor wants a Krabby Patty, then by Neptune, we'll give him one.  You're dancin' with the crab man now! Join me, boy, or you're fired!",It doesn't seem right...  ...but it feels so good!  Seahorse radish: the gnarliest stuff in the ocean.
"Mr. Krabs: Oh, hold on, I've got a jar of toenail clippings in my office!","Oops, I dropped it in the toilet!"
"Mr. Krabs: Well, fish it out, and I'll dry it with me gym socks!  Why, that's the most diabolical Krabby Patty ever spawned!",I call it the 'Nasty Patty'.
"Health Inspector: Hey, hurry up with that patty!","Here you are, sir, enjoy."
"Health Inspector: Ah, hello, delicious. Come to papa. Mr. Krabs:  Listen, he ate it!  Oh, look at him choke!  Look at him suffer!  Did you see that, boy? Oh man, that look on his face. Realistic Fish Head: We interrupt your laughter at other people's expense to bring you this news flash! The fake inspector has been captured! Here is his picture.  If a health inspector comes to your restaurant and he's not this guy, he's real.","Phew! That's a relief, eh, Mr. Krabs? I'm sure our guy will understand if we just explain the situation. Then we can all have a good laugh about it."
"Mr. Krabs:  I don't think he'll be laughin', boy...","Why, sir?"
Mr. Krabs: Because that patty killed him!,"Mr. Krabs, what are we gonna do!?"
Mr. Krabs: What's this we stuff? You fed him the tainted patty. Looks like it's the stony lonesome for you!,But you told me to give it to him!
"Mr. Krabs: Well, you could've talked me out of it!","You're right, Mr. Krabs, I'm guilty. I'll never survive in prison, they'll mop up the floor with me."
"Mr. Krabs: Get a hold of yourself, boy! We've got to get rid of this body before anyone sees it. We've got to take it out and bury it.","Eww, gross, germs, it's all icky and corpse-y!  Eww... eww..."
"Mr. Krabs: This should be far enough. Now, get diggin'!","Yes, sir."
Mr. Krabs: What's the holdup down there?,There's a big rock in the way!
"Mr. Krabs: Well, toss it out and get back to diggin'!","Aye aye, sir!"
Health Inspector: Oh... where am I? Mr. Krabs: Somethin' ain't quite right.,"What do you mean, Mr. Krabs?"
Mr. Krabs: His head's stickin' out!,"Sorry, Mr. Krabs, I thought he might need some air."
Mr. Krabs: They don't need air where he's goin'.,Shouldn't we say a few words on his behalf?
"Mr. Krabs: Uhh, he was a credit to health inspectors everywhere, and, uh...","What a brave man, going in the line of duty like that! Why... why... why?!"
"Mr. Krabs: Listen here, ya little barnacle. No one, and I mean no one can ever know about this. It'll be the end of you, it'll be the end of me. And worst of all, it'll be the end of me! Officer Malley:  Stop right where you are! I'm afraid we're going to have to arrest the two of you.","Mr. Krabs, I'm too young to go to jail!"
"Mr. Krabs: And what would be the charges? Officer Malley: For not being at the Krusty Krab to whip us up a couple of dee-licious Krabby Patties! Mr. Krabs: Laugh, boy. Officer Nancy: Put that muddy shovel in the trunk and we'll give you a ride back. Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, listen carefully: We're just getting a lift back to the Krusty Krab. I need you to stay calm and don't lose your cool, understand?",Can I lose my cool now?
"Mr. Krabs: Why?  Put him in the trunk, boy! I'll keep them cops busy. Officer Malley: What's the holdup back there?","Oh, Neptune! Get away!  Ooh...ahh-ahh...  A-hem... Okay! All set back here. Nothing unusual about a muddy shovel in the trunk."
Mr. Krabs: All set.,Ahh...
"Officer Nancy: You okay there, little fella? Mr. Krabs: Ooh, he gets carsick real easy. Officer Malley: Well, buckle up and we'll drive real smooth-like. Mr. Krabs: Now listen, SpongeBob, when we get to the Krusty Krab I want you to take that  shovel and bring it around to the back entrance and stuff...er... I mean, stow it in the freezer. Un-der-stand?","I understand, Mr. Krabs, but what do you want me to do with the bo..."
"Mr. Krabs:  ...ttles of soda! Bottles of soda, same thing, put 'em in the freezer.","Oh, man, this is so gross!  The back door is locked! What am I gonna do?!"
"Mr. Krabs: Ahoy there, SpongeBob. Heh. I thought you were out back taking care of that  shovel!","Well, the back door was locked, so I came around here...eh.  So if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go put my hat in the freezer now."
"Mr. Krabs: Okey-dokey, SpongeBob. Officer Malley: Is that kid okay? Officer Nancy: He's actin' a little funny. Mr. Krabs: Funny? Oh. Yeah.  He's a real cut-up, that one. He knows how to keep the crew in stitches. Good one, boy! Always on, that one. There's no off on his funny switch.  Oh, ah, oh stop it. Oh, you're, you're killin' me.  Oh! Look, I almost forgot! It's Open Cash Register Night! First two customers get all the money in the cash register! Officer Malley:  86 those patties, Krabs. We just got a call about two ghouls burying a stiff over by Shallow Grave Road. Officer Nancy: I want a soda. Mr. Krabs: Here's your soda. Always a pleasure to serve the folks in blue. Well, goodbye now. Officer Nancy: Hey, there's no ice. Mr. Krabs:  Ice? Ice? You want ice? Is that what you want, you want ice? Is that what you want?","The dark deed you requested is done, sir."
"Officer Nancy:  I'll get it myself. Ice is in the freezer, ri...? Mr. Krabs: THERE IS NO ICE! THERE'S NEVER BEEN ANY ICE! ICE IS JUST A MYTH!!! Officer Nancy: Step aside. You people act like you've committed a murder! Mr. Krabs: Okay! I confess!  SpongeBob killed him!",What?! You can't pin this whole rap on me!
"Mr. Krabs: He was insane, out of control. He would've killed me too if you two hadn't come along.",It was all Mr. Krabs' idea.
"Mr. Krabs: Put him down now, he's a mad dog!",He wears curlers to bed!
"Mr. Krabs: Wait! It's not what you think! Officer Nancy: What are you two talking about? Mr. Krabs: We killed a health inspector! Buried him and then stuffed his body in the freezer! Officer Nancy: You mean in here? Mr. Krabs: It's empty? Officer Nancy: Is this some kind of a joke? Mr. Krabs: Yeah... a joke! Officer Nancy: Say, maybe he turned into a zombie and walked out.",AHHHH!!!! IT'S A ZOMBIE!!!!
"Health Inspector: You guys... Officer Malley:  TAKE THAT, ZOMBIE! Officer Nancy: I'll take it from here.  DIE, ZOMBIE! Officer Malley: Good police work, Officer Nancy. Hey, this guy's not a zombie. He's just an ordinary health inspector. Health Inspector: Yes. And at the risk of being hit again, I'd like to present you with this.","Hey, Mr. Krabs, look. We passed the inspection!"
"Everyone: Hooray! Mr. Krabs: Come on, everybody. Krabby Patties at half price!  Well, not really. Health Inspector: Oh, boy, I'd like a Krabby Patty. Narrator: Well, that's the story. Yes, they are all idiots, aren't they?","Patrick! What are you doing out here, silly?"
"Patrick: I'm waiting for you, so we can play the day away!  Oh, barnacles! You're wearing that dumb hat, again! Every time you wear that stupid thing, you're, you're gone for the whole day!","That's because this is my work hat, Patrick. I have to wear it when I go to work."
Patrick: Why don't you just take it off so you don't have to go to work today?,"I'm afraid it doesn't work that way, buddy."
"Patrick: Ugh! I hate that hat!  Fine, have it your way, hat!  Hmph. Looks like Squidward has time to play. Hey, Squidward! Squidward: What? Patrick: Oh no! He's got the hat, too!","Don't worry, Patrick. I'll be back from work at six. We can play then."
"Patrick: I'll show you, SpongeBob! I'll get a job and a hat! Mr. Krabs: Whoa, whoa, that's enough, lad! What do ya think, I'm made of ketchup? Now run along, boy.  Eh? That sounds like... a band of roving tourists!  Wait, come back! Don't ya wanna give me your money?! They're a slippery bunch. What do I have to do to catch 'em, stand around out here all day?  What are you doing there, Patrick? Patrick: Standin' around out here all day. Mr. Krabs: How would you like a job, Patrick? Patrick: Oh boy, gimme my hat! Mr. Krabs: You'll get your hat, but first you have to entice people into the restaurant by standin' right here and holdin' this sign.  That's not too tough for ya, is it, boy? Patrick: Sounds complicated, but if it gets me a work hat.  How's this? Mr. Krabs: Perfect. You'll be wearin' that hat in no time at all.  Hee hee hee.","What's shakin', Mr. K?"
"Mr. Krabs: Your buddy, Patrick. I hired him to stand out there and hold that sign.","Oh, he is good."
"Mr. Krabs: And look. He's about reel in his first customer. Harold: Can you direct me to the Krusty Krab please? Mr. Krabs: What does he think he's doing?!  They're walkin' right past him!  Patrick, you need to get their attention, boy. Patrick: Okay. Mr. Krabs: That ain't the kind of attention we need! Why don't you show a little razzle-dazzle, maybe give the sign a little twirl or something?  Just keep workin' on that one, eh, boy? Listen, if any tourists come by, why don't you blow them away with a little extra twirl? Patrick: Anything for my new hat. Mr. Krabs: That's enough, Patrick! Patrick: I did it! Did you see that, Mr. Krabs? Mr. Krabs: I saw it. Patrick: Do I get my hat now? Mr. Krabs: What the heck. It pays to advertise. Patrick: My hat... Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, what's wrong with him?","What's the matter, Patrick?"
"Patrick: I dunno. Sometimes, when I'm nervous, I forget how to stand.",He's nervous.
"Blue Fish: Ha ha ha! Look at that guy! He doesn't know how stand on his own two feet! Pink Fish: Now that's that kind of mindlessness I'd pay money to see! Mr. Krabs: You mean, cash money? Pink Fish: Well, heck, yeah! Mr. Krabs: Five dollars please. All right! Mr. Krabs: There's that sound again! They're loving it! Patrick, you've captured the attention of all these tourists with your ridiculous flapdoodle! Patrick: I did? Mr. Krabs: That's right, I think we've finally found a job you're good at. Being an absolute buffoon! If it's folly you crave, it can be found exclusively at the Krusty Krab! For just five dollars a head. Squidward: It's official.  I hate everyone.  You imbeciles think that's entertainment? Well, brace yourselves for some true entertainment!",Patrick.
Patrick: Yeah?,Are you okay?
"Patrick: I'm fine. Pink fish: Oh, that horrible noise! Let's get out of here! Mr. Krabs: What the barnacles is going on out here?! Squidward: I'm entertaining these heathens. Mr. Krabs: We've got all the entertainment we need, thank you very much!  Where'd he go?","Come on, Patrick. Easy now. Right this way."
Mr. Krabs: What in the name of Neptune is going on here?!,"Patrick had a bloody nose, so I was going to walk him home."
"Mr. Krabs: Oh, a bloody nose, eh? You think I was born yesterday? He doesn't even have a nose. Now get back to work, the all of ya's! I'm not running a happy factory here!  Keep up the good work, Patrick! Patrick: You got it, Mr. K! French Narrator: 7 hours later... Billy: That guy still flopping? Customer: Yeah! Amazing, isn't it? Billy: Doesn't that get old? Customer: He's got a point. Let's get out of here. Billy: Me, too. I'm out. Mr. Krabs: What? Wait! Don't go! Why ya leaving? Harold: This guy's act is stale! We crave excitement! Mr. Krabs: Okay, okay! You want excitement? Well, what if I added a box? Billy: Sort of the same, really. Mr. Krabs: Oh, okay, so what if he flopped from two boxes...?  ...into a cream pie? Patrick: I like pie. Billy: That, I'd pay to see! Mr. Krabs: Okay, boy, let 'er rip!  I'll be in the back counting me money. If the crowd gets bored, add some more boxes! Squidward: Whatever.","Hey, hat man... How are you feeling after your first day on the job?"
Patrick:  I feel like a million bucks...,"Patrick? Patrick, are you all right? Say something!  Okay, that's it! No best friend of mine is gonna suffer permanent brain trauma just so Mr Krabs can make a quick buck! I'm gonna go have a talk with him right-"
"Patrick:  No! P-please, don't tell Mr. Krabs! You don't understand. For years, people have been telling me, “You're no good!” Now I'm good! I have a hat to prove it! I don't wanna go back to being No Hat Patrick!","Okay, buddy, I understand. Just promise me one thing."
"Patrick: What's that, pal?",Just be careful.
"Patrick:  Thanks, pal.",I'm worried about Patrick. I'm not sure his new job is good for him.
Mr. Krabs: See the part time minimum wage employee fall from high atop this tower into this bucket of spiny sea urchins! Sandals: This should be good.,Patrick!
"Patrick:  Hi, SpongeBob!","Mr. Krabs, you can't let him do this, he might get hurt!"
"Mr. Krabs: It's okay, boy, he signed a waiver.  Is he ready, Mr. Squidward? Squidward: Ready! Mr. Krabs: Okay! Step back, boy, you wouldn’t want to stain your uniform. Patrick: Hey, good idea. Squidward, could you hold me hat so it won't get hurt?  Thanks, buddy. Mr. Krabs: Ready, Patrick? Patrick: Ready!","Oh, I can't watch!"
"Harold: Hey, ew! Mr. Krabs: Come on, Patrick! We've got a perfectly good bucket of spiny sea urchins down here! Patrick: I'm trying! Patrick: Argh, I think I'm stuck! Mr. Krabs: Stuck? Well, if that don't …  What's the holdup, Mr. Squidward? Squidward: Don't look at me, I'm just here to hold his hat. Mr. Krabs: Patrick, why have you stopped falling? Patrick: I dunno, Mr. Krabs. Mr. Krabs: Well, you'd better figure it out! These people paid good money for a floor show full of pain and humiliation! Now make with the codswallop, pal, understand? Patrick: Uh-huh. Mr. Krabs: Don't make me come back here. Patrick: Hey, Squidward, d'you think you could, uh, you know … Squidward: You want me to push you off your precarious perch into a bucket of spiny sea urchins? Oh, if only you were SpongeBob. Okay, I'll do it! Patrick: Thanks, Squidward! Oh, my hat! Gotcha! All right, back where you belong, aaaah! . Harold: Great, we get to see two for the price of one! Mr. Krabs: I don't think so. Harold: Fine. Mr. Krabs: Thank you. Patrick: Look, Squidward, I'm falling! Squidward: Oh, I'm so happy for you! Patrick: I figured it out; it's the hat that makes me fall, it makes me top heavy!",So it was your hat that was making you fall the whole time!
"Nat: I paid to see two guys get maimed! Harold: Yeah, I want a refund! Mr. Krabs: Sorry, absolutely no refunds.  Hold on there, what's the big idea?  Grandma, help!  All right, you leave me no choice! Patrick: You're giving me a raise? Mr. Krabs: Not even close. You're fired.  As long as I'm still standing, you’ll never wear this hat again.","Patrick, you okay?"
"Patrick: Well, I guess it's back to being to No Hat Pat! Narrator: Epilogue.","It's okay, Patrick, not everyone is equipped to bear the awesome weight of responsibility that a uniform hat represents. But you can wear mine any time you want."
Patrick: Really?,"Sure thing, pal."
"Patrick:  Thanks, SpongeBob! You're the best!","Anytime, pal! Anytime!"
"Announcer:  Welcome, everyone, to the Secret Anchor Arm-Wrestling Club! Jim the Wrestler: Yeah! Tough Green Fish: Give it up, old man! You're nothing but a softshell, Krabs! Tough Purple Fish: Yeah! Mr. Krabs: I win — again!  That's me penny-pinching hand. Mr. Krabs: This old soft-shell... is ready to twist another wrist! Who's next? Plankton:  I am!  You got a problem with that, Eugene?  His name's Eugene, by the way! Mr. Krabs:  I got no problem with that, Sheldon.  His name's Sheldon, by the way. Plankton: It's humiliation time, Krab-cake! I've been working out for months to bring you down! Mr. Krabs:  What's — going on here? I can't... hold it — Plankton: Any last words? Mr. Krabs: Just... one!  Sucker! Jim the Wrestler: Yeah! Mr. Krabs: Next! Mr. Krabs: Next! Plankton: I'll get — Mr. Krabs:  Next! Plankton: you — Mr. Krabs:  Next! Plankton: Kra —  bss...! Mr. Krabs:  I'm the champion... hands down! Plankton: I'll get you for this, Krabs! You'll rue the day you — Jim the Wrestler:  Yeah! Plankton: Oh, why do I try to compete with Krabs? He always goes long and I always fall short! Will I ever get the upper hand? Plankton: That's it! My glove! My big, beautiful, bone-crushing glove! Thank you, clam! Plankton: The pinky is wiggling... wiggling!  Let's see Krabs throw down this gauntlet!  Hi-ya! Plankton: I want a rematch, Krabs! Mr. Krabs:  Boring.  But whatevs. Plankton:  Oh no, not a hand cramp! Not now!  Luckily I have a last-minute substitution, standing by. Mr. Krabs:  Eeeh – oh, oh – oh —  Any... last... words? Plankton:  Just one... Sucker! Mr. Krabs:   Huh –?  No, no, no, no, no, no — Plankton:  Ta-daah! Let's give a big hand to the new champion!  Okay, move it, filthy fingers!  Aww, too bad Krabs isn't here to catch me with my glove in the cookie jar, heheh... Bust the door!  Bust this one, too!  And now, for the secret formula! Open, said me!  Go and hand me that, I command you!  Please don't hurt me!  Whew! Fish #1:  Look out! Plankton: Uh-oh. That glove is gonna destroy Bikini Bottom and I'm gonna get blamed for it!  I hate prison food! But I can't stop that monster all by myself... This is an emergency!  Emergency box... That's convenient!","What is your emergency, Sir?  Oh, hi, Plankton."
"Plankton: I need a hand with something, kid.  Now do it!","Don't worry, Sir... No matter what the emergency, I've seen it all before. I've never seen that before!"
Plankton: Usually it's sitting quietly on top of the Chum Bucket.,"Well, maybe we can talk to it."
"Plankton: Talk is cheap!  Which leads you to push this button when I say so. Plankton:  Hey, Fistface! Prepare for annihilation!  Push the button, SpongeBob!  Huh?","Oh, I can't do it, I can't shoot the glove!  It's – it's wiggling..."
Plankton:  I must push it!  What?  Why are you here again?,"I'm helping.  Listen to me, Plankton. You can't fight a big monster like that with hate. You can only defeat them with love."
"Plankton:  Love? That's too brutal... Let's do it! Timmy:  Daddy, I want it! Harold: Now, Timmy, you already have one of those glove toys at home. Timmy:  Not that one...  That one! Kid Fish: Uh-oh. Hans:  Hey, Glove-zilla!  Someone needs to teach you some Swedish manners! SpongeBob and Plankton:  Sick 'em, Hans! Hans: I challenge you to a duel! Plankton: Give him the old butt-kicking discount, Hans!","But only love will defeat the glove! Oh, look, they're playing rock-paper-scissors!  One, two, three!"
Plankton: Yeah! Nothing beats scissors...,"Oh, except rock... Oh my goodness, it's a thumb war!"
"Hans: I can't defeat the glove, SpongeBob, it's too strong! You need to create a diversion.","Diversion, eh?"
"Plankton: Oh... Aha!  No... Plankton: We need a bullhorn, stat!","I am a bullhorn, stat!"
"Plankton:  Hey, Figure-face! Your grandma is a combat boot! Hans: I got him!  How do I look?","Aww, they fit each other just like a glove."
"Plankton:  Hardy-har-har. Hans: He's harmless now, SpongeBob. See you tomorrow morning, I'll bring the pants! Plankton:  Wha–? Hey, come back! That glove is irreplaceable! Or is it? Plankton: That looks way better than a glove! And it's a combat boot... to boot.  Ouch! Jim the Wrestler: Yeah! Narrator: And now, direct from Encino, America's favorite pirate and president of the SpongeBob SquarePants fan club, Patchy the Pirate. Patchy:   Yo ho ho, yo ho ho, yo ho ho ho ho ho.  Oh! Hi.  I'm Patchy the Pirate, president of the SpongeBob SquarePants Fan Club!  Hey, that's better! Potty:  Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas! Patchy: That's right, Potty! It is Christmas.  And there ain't nothing better in the seven seas than a Bikini Bottom Christmas. It sure is a magical time of year.  Why, I'll bet old SpongeBob is gearing up for Santa Claus right now!",I sure am!  I'm ready!
"Patchy: Not bad for a creature with no vertebrae.  And I'm sure our pal Patrick is doing his share of the decorating.  I too am also preparing for Christmas.  Hmm, unbaked cookie dough!  Mmm... Potty:  Potty want cookie dough!  Cookie! Patchy: Potty! No! Potty: Cookie! Patchy: Get out of here! Potty: Cookie! Patchy: Potty! Potty:  Give us a lick! Patchy: Back off, you flying freak! Potty:  Clarify please. Patchy:  This here cookie dough is for the children, not for pesky parrots.  What's that? Three bells! Well, we all know what three bells means! Children:  Free ice cream! Patchy: No, you silly livers.  No! Potty:  Man overboard? Patchy: You, I'm ignoring.  No, it's time to open fan letters! Potty:  Here you go! Patchy: Thank you, Potty.  Yeah. Okay Potty, thank you!  Come on, give it, you birdbrain!  Quiet, infernal bird!  Hmm.  This letter comes to us from... Fish Head:  Name and address withheld! Patchy: And he writes, Dear SpongeBob, I am ten years old, and I was wondering if you like Christmas as much as I do. Sincerely yours... Fish Head:  Name and address withheld! Patchy: A very good question. But you know they didn't always celebrate Christmas in Bikini Bottom. Potty:  They didn't? Patchy: No sir, my fine feathered little neck pain.  There was a time when no one had even heard of Christmas in Bikini Bottom.  Hey! Who wants to hear the story of SpongeBob's very first Christmas?  Potty?  You ate all me cookie dough! Potty: Squ-ouch! Patchy: Oh, well. On with the show.","Today, I'm gonna sneak up and get that Sandy with a super sneaky karate move. What diabolical act is she committing now?  Fire! Don't worry, Sandy, I'm coming! Stand back, Sandy, fire!  Huh? So I guess there's no fire?"
"Sandy: What in the name of the Alamo is wrong with you, SpongeBob? Ain't you never seen a Christmas tree before?",Christmas who?
Sandy: What?! Y'all never heard of Christmas?,Is she a friend from Texas?
Sandy:  No. I can't believe you haven't heard of...  ...Christmas.,Tell me more about this...  ...Christmas.
"Patchy: And so, Sandy wove the magical tale of gumdrops and pennywhistles. She told of toy-making elves and flying reindeer. But best of all, she told of the one they call, Santa Claus.",And everyone pretends to like the fruitcake.
Squidward: Yawn.,"But the best part is you can write a letter to this guy, Santa Claus, and tell him what you want, and when he comes he brings it to you."
"Patrick: Just like a genie. Mr. Krabs: I dunno about you, lubbers, but any fella who's giving away free stuff, is a friend o' mine.","That's the spirit, Mr. Krabs.  Here you go! You can get started on your letter."
"Squidward: I can't believe anybody would celebrate a holiday where a jolly prowler breaks into your house and leaves gifts. Patrick: Like a genie. Mr. Krabs: Pipe down, Squidward. I'm trying to concentrate. This thing is as good as a blank check direct from the First National Bank of Santa Claus. Squidward: Oh, brother. Patrick: Yeah.","Okay, who's next?"
"Patrick: Ooh, ooh, me, me! Squidward: Ooh.","Here you go, Patrick."
Patrick: There's no words on this paper.,Not yet.
Patrick:  Yippee! A writing stick.,"C'mon, Squidward. Write a letter."
"Squidward: SpongeBob, grow up will ya? No one's going to give me a gift just because I write them a stupid letter. Patrick: SpongeBob, I ripped my paper. Could I have another one?","Sure, buddy. Here you go. Okie dokie, Squid...  ...ward."
"Patrick: Uhh, SpongeBob...  Thanks.  Dear Sant...  D'oh! Not again.","Here, Patrick, watch me.  Dear Santa, what do I want for Christmas, you may ask? All I want is for you to visit gentle folk here in Bikini Bottom. That is my wish.  Patrick, I designed this mechanism specifically to shoot bottles to the surface. The hopes of everyone rests on the success of its maiden voyage. Fire in the hole!"
Patrick: Santa! Haha. Where's Santa?,Santa doesn't come till Christmas Eve.
"Mr. Krabs: Okay boy, my demands, uhh, I mean, my letter, is ready to go.","Great, Mr. Krabs. What did you wish for?"
Mr. Krabs: A pony.,Really?
"Mr. Krabs: With saddle bags full of money! Patrick: Here you go, SpongeBob.","What did you wish for, Patrick?"
Patrick: Another piece of paper.,"And what did you wish for, little girl?"
"Susie: Front teeth! Cowboy: I could use a new hat! Jennifer-Millie: I need a new hairstyle! Lonnie: I'd like a glass of water for my teeth. Squidward: Excuse me, coming through, out of the way.","Great, Squidward, you finished. What's your wish?"
Squidward: My wish is that the people of Bikini Bottom will stop paying any attention to the inane dribble that is constantly streaming out of this dunderhead's mouth.,"Gee, Squidward, maybe Santa will bring me a dictionary so I can understand what you just said. Okay, everybody, we've got a lot to do now that we've summoned Santa Claus. We must ready ourselves for his arrival."
"Everyone: Hooray! SpongeBob and Patrick: ♪It's shaping up to be a wonderful holiday. Not your normal, average, everyday.♪ Squidward: ♪Sounds like someone felled my old coral tree! SpongeBob, Patrick, why'd you do this to me?♪ SpongeBob and Patrick: ♪The world feels like it's in loverly!♪ Squidward: ♪Go away before I harm you bodily!♪ SpongeBob and Patrick: ♪This Christmas feels like the very first Christmas to me! There'll be shopping, decorating, and plenty of snow! Hey, Patrick, who's that under the mistletoe?♪ Squidward: ♪What? Who, me? Would you look at the time, I should go!♪ Plankton: ♪People seem a little more brotherly!♪ Mr. Krabs: ♪Here's a special something to you from me!♪ SpongeBob and Patrick: ♪Even all the trash, on Christmas it smells so sweetly! This Christmas feels like the very first Christmas to me!♪",♪La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la!♪
"Squidward: ♪What do you want? Can't you see that I'm busy!?♪ SpongeBob and Patrick: ♪Step outside, we've got something for you to see!♪ Squidward: ♪SpongeBob, take this stuff down immediately!♪ SpongeBob and Patrick: ♪Chestnuts roasting and burns in the third degree!♪ Citizens: ♪Tonight things are as good as they seem to be!♪ Patrick: ♪A star on top will complete all the scenery!♪ Citizens: ♪This Christmas feels like the very first Christmas to me! This Christmas feels like the very first Christmas to me!♪ Patchy: Is Squidward right? Can there be a Christmas under the sea? Stay tuned! Whoa!  It's about time you got back! Now I can finish me story! So, SpongeBob was sending the last of the letters to Santa... Wobbles: I hope he can read Portuguese.","Ah, well that's the last letter. Wait! Squidward hasn't written his letter yet!  Squidward! Hurry! Squidward, Squidward! Hurry!"
"Squidward: SpongeBob, what are you doing?","Don't worry, Squidward. I'll help you get started.  Dear Santa Claus..."
"Squidward: SpongeBob, forget it.","Right, too formal. Hi Santa..."
"Squidward: SpongeBob, no.","Howdy, Claus?"
Squidward:  I'm not writing a letter to a figment of your imagination.,"But, Squidward, when Santa comes, you'll be the only one without a gift."
"Squidward: SpongeBob, how many times do I have to say it? I don't believe in Santa Claus!","C’mon, Squid, all you have to do is write a letter. What have you got to lose?"
Squidward: My self-respect. My sanity. My lunch.,"Squidward, c'mon."
"Citizens: C’mon, Squidward! Don't be a party pooper! C'mon out! Squidward:  Santa Claus is a big phony! SpongeBob has got you all fooled!","C'mon, Squidward. C'mon!"
"Squidward: Those idiots are gonna be up all night while I get a full night’s sleep. Citizens: ♪Oh, Santa's coming tonight, tonight. Santa's coming tonight. Santa's coming tonight, tonight. Santa's coming tonight.♪",C'mon everybody! Let's sing till Santa gets here.
"Citizens: ♪Santa's coming tonight, tonight. Santa's coming tonight. Santa's coming tonight, tonight. Santa's coming...♪ Citizens: ♪Santa's coming tonight, tonight. Santa's coming tonight.♪ Fred: Hey! Where's Santa?","Uh, he should be here any minute. ♪Santa's coming tonight, tonight. Santa's coming tonight.♪"
"Citizens: Oh, c'mon. Enough of this. Fred: Thanks for the lies, Mr. Fairytale! Let's go waste our time somewhere else.","Hey, guys, where's your Christmas spirit? He's just running late."
Patrick: He probably just stopped for a snack! Fat guys get hungry right?,Yeah!
"Patrick: Never trust a genie. Squidward:  Ah, morning already? Oh, boy!  Merry Christmas! Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas. Wait. Oh, I see a great Christmas photo op. Could you move in a little?  Say Santa Claus.",Santa Claus.
"Squidward: Aww, our first Christmas. ♪This Christmas feels like the very first Christmas. The first Christmas is this Christmas.  'Cause it feels like the first Christmas to me.♪","You were right, Squidward. This was a stupid holiday.  I still want you to have this."
Squidward: What? What's this?,A present. I made it for you so you wouldn't be left out when... Santa came!
"Squidward: Oh, gee, I, uh, you know I...",You're welcome.
"Squidward: SpongeBob? He made me a present? It's probably a jellyfish net, or an old Krabby patty, or...  his favorite underpants. Haha. Present.  Why, it looks like a clarinet.  It smells like one, too. Handcrafted out of driftwood. And it's even got my name on it.  What's this?  Wow. This is the greatest gift I've ever gotten.  Oh, I feel like a... I feel like a... I feel like a...  big jerk. What have I done to poor SpongeBob? Uh, hey, SpongeBob? I... SpongeBob?",I guess I won't be needing this.  That's better.
Squidward: The poor little guy. All he wanted was to spread a little joy.,I'd better get this stuff off of Squid's place.
"Squidward: Ho, ho, ho! Ho, ho, ho!",Huh? Hello? Who's there? Huh? Hello?
"Squidward: Ho, ho, ho! Ho, ho, ho!",Hello? Yes. Who's there? Huh? Hello? Show yourself. Yoo-hoo. Hello? Who is it? Huh?
"Squidward: Up here, you dunce.  I mean, uh... Merry Christmas, little boy!",C-c-could it be?
"Squidward: Yes, it is I, Santa Claus. Ho, ho, ho...","Hey, you're S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-San...  S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-San...  S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-San..."
"Squidward: Hey, uh, kid, take it easy.",S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-San... ta...
Squidward: SpongeBob? SpongeBob? SpongeBob?!,S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-San...
Squidward: Don't do that again.,"I knew you'd make it, Santa. Hey, Santa, where's your big, round belly?"
"Squidward: Well, that, um, is a result of, uh, undersea pressure on my body.",Where's your reindeer? And your flying machine?
"Squidward: Uhh, I loaned them to the Easter bunny.","And what about that nose?  I knew you were supposed to have a big one, but that thing's gigantic."
Squidward: Alright! I'm Santa.,Santa! This is the greatest you could've given me. Thank you for bringing Christmas to Bikini Bottom.
"Squidward: I didn't bring Christmas to Bikini Bottom, SpongeBob; you did.",I did?
"Gary: Meow. Squidward: Merry Christmas, SpongeBob. Merry Christmas! Whew! I'm glad that's over. Shelly: Do you have a present for me, Santa? Squidward: Oh, well, uhh, you see, I'm not really...","Go ahead, Santa Claus. See, he is real. He made my Christmas wish come true, he won't let you down."
"Squidward: Uhh, right, just a second.  C'mon, let's see. What do little girls like? A book of matches? Or a shaving kit? A copy of my birth certificate? There's got to be something around here. Think. Think. Think. Ha! Perfect!  There you go, little girl! Ho, ho, ho! Shelly: Thanks, Santa. Squidward: That almost felt good.  I didn't... who? Fred: Hey, Santa, where's my present? Old Man Jenkins: And mine! Abigail-Marge: And what about me? Squidward: Uhh... let's see what Santa has for all you good people.  Think fast, Santa. Gifts for good people. A-ha! A bowl of mashed potatoes for you. Jennifer-Millie: Thank you, Santa. This is just what I wanted.  A new hairstyle. Little Girl: Thanks, Santa. Squidward:  Here you go, Patrick. Patrick: Wow.  A wrist watch. Fish: Thank you, Santa! Squidward:  What was I thinking? I gave away all my stuff just 'cause SpongeBob wouldn't be sad. Am I insane?  You might as well take the door. It's all that's left.","Squidward! You missed him! He was here just like I said! He gave us all presents. He was jolly and he had a beard. His nose was big and he had rosy cheeks. He was friendly and kind.  And Santa is... oh, his belly was small, but his nose was huge with Christmas joy. He was so nice Squidward..."
"Squidward: Well, at least it's over.  Huh? What's this? Santa: Dear Squidward, thanks for all your help! You've been a real good boy this year. Warm regards, Santa Claus.  Ho, ho, ho! Ho, ho, ho!  Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho. Merry Christmas! Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho. Ho, ho, ho, ho. Squidward:  Yup, I'm insane. Santa: Merry Christmas! Patchy: Dee dee, dee dee dee dee.","Ahoy, Patrick! It's Christmas Island!"
"Patrick:  Presents, ahoy.","Hooray!  Oh, a storm!"
"Patrick: Yay! I mean yikes! Patchy:  Oh, we're going down!  Trim the sails! Hoist the yardarms! Turn on the Weather Channel! Man on Set:  Patchy? Patchy: Oh, hi kids. Boy, that SpongeBob makes me as jolly as a roger. Well, I hope you enjoyed SpongeBob's Christmas tale. And I hope your Christmas is better than sunken treasure.  Aw... Potty left me a little Christmas present.  Argh, ye old mistletoe. And you know what that means.  Ah, time for somebody to kiss Patchy the Pirate!  Come on, who's it gonna be? Come on! Kiss the captain! Potty: Give us a kiss! Patchy: No! No, not you!  No, not you Potty! Get out of here! No, Potty! I don't wanna kiss you! No, we talked about this. Potty! No! Potty: Kissy, kissy! Narrator: Well, it looks like Patchy's pretty busy at the moment, so I'll say it for him. Good night, and happy holidays. Perch Perkins: Perch Perkins here and coming to you live from the Bikini Bottom Wrestling Royal Rumble Free for All. Mr. Krabs: Free?! Gimme, gimme, gimme!  Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme!  Gimme. Gimme. Gimme?  Uhh... what do I get? Perch Perkins: Well, what you get is the most anticipated event of the wrestling season!  Hundreds of wrestlers from around the world face off against the heavyweight champs. Wrestlers #1 and #2: Wrestler #2: Wrestlers #1 and #2: Perch Perkins: Anyone who can defeat these giants will earn the championship title. Mr. Krabs:  Big deal. Perch Perkins: And the million dollar cash prize. Mr. Krabs:  Million... dollars... cash prize?!  Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme! Mr. Krabs: Money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money! Money, money...   Money... money... money.  Money? Mr. Krabs: Ohhhhhh. Contestant: My leg! My leg. Mr. Krabs: No living soul should have to suffer through what I've witnessed here today. Except maybe...","Where are you taking us, Mr. Krabs?"
Mr. Krabs: Now go get them!,"What do you think the surprise is, Patrick?"
Patrick: I don't know. What do you think it is?,"I don't know. What do you...  Ohhh. Whatever it is, it's really big."
Patrick:  And hairy.,And it smells angry.
Patrick: Is it time to look yet?,You peek first.
"Patrick: No, you peek first.","Hey, who are those guys, Mr. Krabs? They look like they wanna hurt us."
"Mr. Krabs: What? Those two? Ah, they're harmless. It's all just part of the act.",The act?
"Mr. Krabs: Of course. They're just pretending. Patrick: Pretending? SpongeBob and Patrick: We like pretending. Mr. Krabs:  Don't we all? Patrick: Can we wear costumes? Mr. Krabs: Eh... sure. Patrick:  Hey, SpongeBob, how do I look?",Wow. Looks like those Iron Bun workout videos are really paying off.
"Woman on Exercising Video: And 2, and 3, and 4 steps closer to your dream body. Patrick: I can even do it in my sleep.",Wow! Can we have cool nicknames too?
"Mr. Krabs: Ohh, fine.  You're the, uh, Short Order Boy,  and he's the... um, well, uh, Pink Patty.",And together we are...
Mr. Krabs: The Krusty Krushers. Now go out there and wrestle me up a million dollars!,This is going to be so fun. Yeah!
Patrick: Whoo!,Yeah!
Patrick: Whoo!,Yeah!
Patrick: Whoo!,Yeah!
Patrick: Whoo!,"Okay, we're ready."
"Announcer:  Huh? Oh, yeah. Al, send the mike down. We got fresh meat.","Actually, we're here to fake wrestle."
"Patrick: And to pretend wrestle. Announcer: Whatever.  In this corner we have the challengers, the Krusty Krushers!","Oh, excuse me."
"Mr. Krabs: You can do it! Announcer: And on the opposite side of the ring, we have the undefeated champions. SpongeBob and Patrick: Happy thoughts, happy thoughts, happy thoughts...",Did it just get dark in here?
Patrick: Dark?! I'm afraid of the dark.,"Oh, don't be afraid. It's just them."
"Patrick: Oh, right, it's just those guys we're gonna wrestle.  Hello, fellow competitors. Patrick: What was that?",That's Wrestlese for You're dead meat.
Patrick: I don't get it.,"Hey, look, Patrick, it's Mr. Krabs cheering us on. Whoa."
"Patrick: Oh, hey, SpongeBob.","Hey, Patrick. Look, Patrick,  it's a fist."
"Patrick: A fist? Where?  Oh, yeah, that's definitely a... SpongeBob and Patrick: Yeah!",How fun was that?
Patrick: It was so super duper fun. SpongeBob and Patrick: Boom!,"Did you need something, Mr. Krabs?"
"Mr. Krabs: Oh, did I need something? Hmm, let me think. Did I need something?  Yes, I need something! I need you 2 to get back in there and show them who's boss! Show them what Short Order Boy and Pink Patty can really do!","Right! C'mon, Patrick, let's show these two who they're messing with."
Patrick: With pleasure. SpongeBob and Patrick: Let's do this! Mr. Krabs: That's the million dollar winning spirit.,"Alright, you two, no more messing around. You see this?  It's just a spatula, right? Wrong! Actually, this represents your face after I get through mangling it.  There, you see that? It's not gonna be pretty when I get done with ya."
"Patrick: Hey, good one, SpongeBob.","Thanks, Patrick. Now you try saying something intimidating as well."
"Patrick: Okay.  And if you think this is bad, wait till I get my hands on ya.  I'm gonna, uh... I'm gonna... tear ya to shreds! Like a...  C'mon! Ah! I got a paper cut! Paper cut!","Patrick, are you okay?"
"Patrick: Huh? Oh, I'm fine. I just like to suck on my hand.","Really? Me, too."
Mr. Krabs: Oh. Heh heh. Now what?,That tickles.
Patrick: Good catch!,"Look, I'm a..."
Patrick: Helicopter. Mr. Krabs: What are you doing out there?!,Fake wrestling.
"Mr. Krabs: Okay, but you still have to try to win in fake wrestling.","Mr. Krabs, we're having so much fun! Doesn't that make us winners?"
"Mr. Krabs: Actually...  It doesn't!  Okay, okay, look. Just...  Hey, where'd they...  Oh, no! Not the... Perch Perkins: Wow, now that's a serious Sleeper Hold.","Oh, hello, Mr. Fluffy."
"Crowd: Aw. Perch Perkins: And it looks like the champs are ready to end it. Mr. Krabs: End it?! Crowd:  End it! Mr. Krabs: Get up! Get up, you guys!!! Perch Perkins: Yep. They're gonna leave more than a mark with this special move. The mother of all moves, the Flying Double Decker Atomic Headbutt of Destruction...  with a spin. Mr. Krabs:  C'mon, c'mon! WAKE UP!!! Patrick:  1 and 2 and squeeze...! Mr. Krabs: Oh, who am I kidding? Goodbye, money. Patrick: Squeeze...!! Mr. Krabs: Goodbye, money. Patrick: SQUEEZE...!!! Wrestlers #1 & #2:  Oh no! Wrestler #2: The Iron Butt! Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, here are your new champions! Mr. Krabs: Goodbye, mon- ... new champions?! Perch Perkins: That's right, Skip. And the winner of one million dollars. Mr. Krabs:  Hello, money!!!!  Woo-hoo! Money, sweet money! Perch Perkins: Or... Mr. Krabs: Or?! Perch Perkins: You can take what's behind Curtain #2. Mr. Krabs: Curtain Number 2? Perch: Make all your dreams come true with 1 week at Wrestle Camp. Mr. Krabs: Like we're really gonna turn all this money for... SpongeBob and Patrick: Wrestle Camp! Wrestle Camp, Wrestle Camp, Wrestle Camp! Perch Perkins: Wrestle Camp it is.","See you at Wrestle Camp, Mr. Krabs!"
"Monica: Help! Help! Pirate: Brad: Monica! Monica:  Brad! Brad: Oh, Monica, I've thought I might never find you.  I promise to never leave you at your side. Monica: Oh, Brad. Brad: Oh, Monica.","Do you know what today is, little guy?"
Gary: Meow?,It's take Gary a walk in a park day!
Gary:  Meow.,"Isn't this great, Gary? A whole park full of your own species.  Go ahead, have a good time.  I'll just sit down for a sec."
"Gary:  Meoooow. Mary:  Meooow. Gary: MREOOOW REOOOOW REOOOW REOOOW! OOF! Snail Boss: Hey, lightweight! What do you think you're doing with my girl?  Come on, Mary, let's go. Mary: Mreoooow. Snail Boss:  You've just made a big mistake, pal. Gary: Grrrrr...","Say goodbye to your friends, Gary! Play time's over! I've gotta fix us some dinner!"
"Gary:  Meoooow. Mary:  Meoooow. Mable/Monica: Let's go, Mary. Snail boss: Hey, this ain't over, runt! When I get through with yous, the doctor won't know which side to sow your lips back on... to!  That little runt is going to get what's coming to him!",Mmm-mmm! Seaweed noodle stew.
Gary: Meow.,"Bon appetit, Gary. I made it with extra love.  Not exactly what I had in mind, but, eh... knock yourself out."
Gary:,"One, two. One, two. One, two. One, two. One, two. One, two. One-oh. There you are. That sure was a knockout dinner, eh?"
Gary: Meow.,"Come on, Gary, it's time for beddy-bye!  Night-night, Gare-Bear. Good morning, Gary!  Hmm? Where is he? Oh, he's probably using his snail box. It was a pretty noodly stew he ate last night.  Peek-a-boo!  Huh? Not in here either.  Gary? Where are you?  I am gonna teach that snail how to clean up after himself.  What's this? Some sort of ransom note?  Holy Neptune! My Gary has been petnapped by a deranged snail-lover!  Don't worry, Gare-Bear, I'll save you!"
"Gary: Meow? Elderly snail:  Meeooooooooow... Gary: Meow reow. Snail boss: After me, fellas. Bully snail:  Hey, how come we never go through the front, guys? Snail Boss: 'Cause the bad guys don't never use the front door! Bully snail:  Well, I think that that's pretty ridiculous. Snail Boss:  All right. Listen up! Any of you seen a snail come through here? About a... yay tall, a shell, couple of eyes? Bully snail: I think you need to be more descriptive. Snail Boss: Oh, okay, let's see here. Uh, this particular snail thinks it's real funny to make goo-goo eyes on my girl.  Hey! What-- they's giggling at! They's giggling at me! Alright, that's it! You's all going on my list! You's got that? You're all on the list!","Gary? Gary? Where are you, buddy?  Snail slime! Looks like it could be Gary's.  Sounds right. Consistency matches. Now for the true test.  Uh-huh. It is Gary's slime. I'm on the trail, Gary!"
"Harold:  Why, hello there, little fellow. Are you a stray?  There now. Isn't that better? Gary:  Meow reow. Snail Boss: Meow meow meow meow? Harold: No. No, I haven't seen any stray snails come in here. Snail Boss:  He's trying to pull a fast one, fellas.  Why don't we give him a taste of our special brand of swift justice?! Narrator: Two hours later... Snail Boss: Heh! That's enough, boys. I've think we've done a thorough job. Bully snail: Yeah. Let's get back to finding that snail. Dan: Hey, Boss, there's one left. Snail Boss: Oh yeah?  I know you're in there, you little runt! Vicious Worm: Snail Boss: YAAAAH! Dan and Bully snail: HAAAAH! Snail Boss: AHH! MOMMY! MOMMY! Harold: You!  Come back here! You're gonna help me clean this place up!  You brought this on yourself, Harold. I did not, Harold. Yes, you did, Harold. Harold, I did not. Mable/Monica: Come on, move it!  Get out of the road! Bully snail: Where do you think you're going? Bully snail: Get' em! Dan and Bully snail: Gary:  Meoooow. Mary:  Meooow.",Gary? Gary?!
"Mable/Monica: What the?  What do you think you're doing in my car? No free rides, loafer!","Hold it right there! Hands off my Gary, you snailnapper!"
Mable/Monica: Snailnapper?  I don't want your dumb ol' snail.,"Oh, yeah. I suppose he wandered out of the house in the middle of the night just so he can jump into your car."
Gary: Meow.,"Not now, Gary, I'm scolding. And I suppose... Wh-wha-what?"
Gary: Meow meow meow meow. Meow.,"You did wander out of the house on your own? But why?  Oh, I see why. Good ol' fashioned amore!"
"Snail Boss: Hey! This ain't over yet, runt! Brad: Monica? Monica! Mable/Monica:  Brad! Brad: Oh, Monica, I've thought I've never find you, Monica. I was just taking Billy here for a walk. Mary:  Meoooow. Billy:  Meow. Snail Boss: Huh? Gary: Meow? Brad: I promise to never again leave your side. Let's go get a steaming hot cup of joe. Mable/Monica: Oh, Brad. Brad: Oh, Monica.","That's gotta hurt, Gary."
"Gary: Meow reow. Snail Boss:  Eh. Come on, runt, I'll show you this great dumpster where we can get some seaweed noodle stew! Gary:  Meow!","Don't stay out too late, Gary!  They grow up so fast."
"Patrick: Patrick: Aww, I got dead again. This game stinks. Sandy: See, that's why you must always pay attention to the mountain.","I'm listening to you, mountain!  Don't eat the yellow sand, Patrick."
"Patrick: Oh, yeah, I forgot.","Hey, Sandy, watch me do the Grouchy Squidward."
Squidward:  Stop naming moves after me!,Everybody's an idiot except for me.
"Squidward: Well, it's true. Sandy:  SpongeBob! Look out for that tree!","Huh?  Don't worry, guys, everything is under control, ‘cause I'm an...  Expert...!  Huh, that's funny. Someone turned the mountain upside down."
Sandy: SpongeBob! Land on your bottom! It'll cushion the impact of the fall!,Like this?
"Patrick: No, your other bottom! Sandy: Don't you have to be stupid somewhere else? Patrick: Not until 4. Sandy: Ooh, that's gotta hurt. Patrick: Do it again! I wasn't looking! Doctor: Well, it looks like your gluteus maximus has made a full recovery.",My what has a what now?
"Doctor: Your butt's all better. It's really quite amazing.  It took twenty hours to put it all back together.  We actually ran out of staples and had to use a glue stick . Yep, you're a lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky, luck boy. But from now on, I'd like you to be more careful. One more injury like that and you could wind up like that poor creature there.   In the Iron Butt. Tom:  Aww, man. It itches.","You heard the doctor, SpongeBob. One more injury like that, then it's the Iron Butt. I've been too careless back there. From now on, I am on around the clock butt patrol.  Hep, hep, hep! Stay away from the backside! I'm warning you!"
Harold: What's your problem?,Whew. That was close.
"Football Player: Hey, SpongeBob, why don't you join us? We need an extra player.  Nice catch, Percy! Jimmy: Hey, SpongeBob!  You've gotta try this, dude! We finally got enough people for a seven-mile spanking machine!  Ha, ouch! Ha, ouch! Ha, ouch. Martin: Next.",No!
Squidward: Is this where the line starts?,My butt is not safe out here!  No part of me is safe!
"Sandy: Yeah. Ride 'em, cowboy!  Hey, SpongeBob! Patrick:  That was fun. Sandy:  Hey, SpongeBob, you ready to go sandboarding again? SpongeBob?","Hello, friends. Enjoying the outside world?"
Sandy: Whatcha all doing sitting in the middle of the floor like that?,"Oh, living out the remainder of my life, in safety. If you guys were smart, you would join me. That accident made me realize that it's dangerous out there. I was one of the lucky ones. I'm a survivor. And so I simply decided that I'm never leaving my house again."
Sandy: That's crazy talk! Patrick: That's not crazy talk. This is crazy talk.  Sorry.,"No, Patrick's right, Sandy. You saw what happened and next time it won't just be my butt, it'll be my armpit or my forehead."
Patrick: Or your other armpit!,I was wrong to go against nature. I'm a sponge. What was I thinking? Walking… My people are sedentary.
Sandy: Just sitting in your house? Ain't you gonna get lonesome?,I won't be lonesome. I've got all the friends I need right here. This is Penny...  and Chip...  and say hello to Used Napkin.
"Sandy: Well, how are you gonna keep your job at the Krusty Krab?",No problem!  A really long spatula.
Sandy: What about eating?,I'm a sponge! I'll just filter-feed.
"Sandy: SpongeBob, sooner or later, you're gonna have to go outside!","Listen, I've told you, but I'm never leaving my house again."
Patrick: Never ever?,Never ever ever!
Patrick: Never ever ever ever ever for never ever?!,Never ever never never ever ever never!!
Patrick: Never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever?!,Never ever...
SpongeBob and Patrick: Never never never never ever never ever never…,"Alright, Patrick, that is enough! Chip, will you mind showing these two to the door?"
"Patrick: Thank you, Chip.  I guess I'll to have to find a new best friend. Hey, Squidward! Squidward:  No! Patrick: Aww! Sandy: Don't worry, Patrick, we'll get SpongeBob to come outside, and then he'll see there's nothing to be afraid of. Patrick: And that's when I  punch him, right? Sandy: Look at all the jellyfish out here. Too bad SpongeBob's missing out on all the fun. Patrick:  I caught one!  Huh?","Look at those fools. Risking their lives, jellyfishing. My new hobby is much more safer, isn't it, Chip? Dust collecting.  I think I caught one!"
"Sandy: We've got to try something else! Sandy and Patrick: ♪Three cheers on your birthday, SpongeBob! Three cheers for you!♪ Sandy: Now you got to blow out the candles and make a wish.","I don't need the wish, Penny. Everything I could ever want is right here. In fact, let's sing our own song about the joy of staying indoors. ♪I know of a place where you never get harmed. A magical place with magical charms. Indoors! Indoors! Indoors!♪ Take it away, Penny!"
"Patrick:  That penny has the most beautiful voice. Sandy:  That is it, SquarePants! We're gonna find you something that's so dang fun that you'll have to come outside! Sandy:  Trampoline! Patrick:  Ice cream. Sandy:  Underwater surfing! Patrick:  Two ice creams. Sandy:  Ferris wheel! Patrick:  Still two ice creams. Sandy:  Clam wrestling! Patrick:  Washing an old person. Sandy: Patrick, that's not fun. Old man: It is for me! Sandy: Nothing's working, Patrick! Patrick: What do we do? Old man:  I say we take a bath! Sandy: Wha...will you get out of here? Sandy: Now remember. Don't jump out until I give the signal. Patrick: Right. Sandy:  All right, SpongeBob. You win. Stay inside forever. Yours is truly the iron will. Now, Pat!  Eek! A gorilla! Save me, SpongeBob!","Okay, guys, really. This is your saddest attempt yet. Even Chip knows that's Patrick in the same costume that he wore for Halloween last year."
"Sandy:  No, really! You've got to come and save me! Patrick #2: Hey, Sandy,  who's your friend? Sandy:  But you're supposed to be in the gorilla suit. Patrick #1: I am in the gorilla suit.  I thought I was doing a pretty good job. Sandy: If you're Patrick, then who's that?  Ah! A real gorilla!","Huh?!  Oh, my gosh!  This can't be happening!  This is exactly the kind of thing I was talking about!  Well, they were asking for it. It's not like I didn't warn them about the dangers of outside. Yes, Chip, I know they're my two dearest friends in the world, but I told them, I wasn't going outside no matter what. We can do without the name calling, thank you very much, Used Napkin! I know, Chip. If I was out there, bagged by an ape, Patrick and Sandy would risk anything to save me. And I've got to do the same for them. If I don't come back alive, Chip, take good care of Gary."
Gary:  Meow.,"Well, here we go. From the safety of my home, to the outside world.  I'm taking my  first step.  So far, so good. I think I can do this!  Oh, dear Neptune, get off of me, get off of me! Chip! Help me, help me!  I'm still alive! I did it! I made it outside! Nothing can stop me now!  Is it too late to go back inside again?"
"1st half of SpongeBob: It's too late.  Patrick? Sandy? Patrick and Sandy:  Yes, SpongeBob? 1st half of SpongeBob: I'm sorry I caused all this. I'm not scared of going outside anymore. But I'm terrified of gorillas now. Sandy:  Ah, that's okay, SpongeBob. Us too. First half of SpongeBob: You know what I don't understand though? Second half of SpongeBob: What? First half of SpongeBob: What's the gorilla doing underwater in the first place? Gorilla:  Oh! Well, it's funny you should, uh, you see, George, they're on to us! George: Let's get outta here! Pearl: Ooh!  Mwah, mwah, mwah! Aaahhh!!! Num-num-num-mmm... Mwah! Marina:  Hi, Pearl. Pearl: Hey, girl! Let's hang out! Marina: Uh, I can't, I have to work at Hot-Dog on a String today. Brad called in sick, so I'm in charge of stringing the dogs. Totally lame. Pearl: I guess I'll see you later then. Boy Customer: Uh... Can I get one with extra string? Marina: Ugh. Nocturna:  What? Pearl:  Hey, girl! Want to come over and make fun of boys or something? Nocturna: Uh, sorry, girl, I can't. I'm working at Scorched Coral all day. It's heinous. Pearl:  Oh! So heinous. See ya later. Nocturna: See ya later, Pearl. Girl Customer: How much is this choker? Nocturna: Um, it's a wrist band. Girl Customer: Nocturna: Awesome. Nixie:  Nixie speaking. Pearl:  Nixie! My bestest friend in the whole wide world. You should come over. We can watch TV and eat cheese! Nixie: I wish I could, Pearl, but I have to work at Dangles and Bangles. All dangles are half off with the purchase of any bangle. Dangle must be of equal or lesser value than bangle. Some restrictions may apply. Pearl: Oh, you don't work at the mall, do you, Derek? Derek: No, but all my girlfriends do. Pearl: Daddy! Guess what? Mr. Krabs:  I have no idea, Pearly. Pearl: Dad, I'm getting a job today. Mr. Krabs:  Yahoo! Oh, this is great news, Pearl, me dear! Mr. Krabs: Now instead of wasting my precious money on your clothes and your school supplies...  You can waste your own. Pearl: I'll be an independent working woman, blazing my own trail and standing on my own two fins. Mr. Krabs: That's the spirit. Pearl: Oh, can I borrow $10? Mr. Krabs: I'll miss you around the house. Pearl: Oh, Daddy, you'll see me after work. Mr. Krabs: I was talkin' to the money. Pearl: Hey, Marina! I'm here to apply for a job. Marina: You should meet the manager, I guess. He's in his office. Mr. Pepalino, there's someone here for a job. Pearl: Ah! Marina: Pearl: I-I don't think he's in there. Mr. Pepalino:  We're not hiring. Nocturna: Welcome to Scorched Coral. Please go away. Oh, hey, Pearl. What are you doing here? Pearl: I would like to apply for a job, please. Nocturna: Yeah, sorry. You're a little late. We were hiring, but we actually just hired someone today. Pearl: Ah! Oh, Nixie, I need to work at Dangles and Bangles! This is my last chance, you gotta help me out here! Oh, please, please, please, please, please! Nixie: Come on, let me introduce you to the manager. This is-- Bangles and Dangles manager: Nope, not hiring. Pearl: You don't understand. I have to work here! Bangles and Dangles manager: Sorry, missy, the only thing we don't dangle here... is hope. Pearl: Oh, bangles. Ah...  Oh, this is the worst. If I don't get a job at the mall, I'm gonna have to hang out with my dad! Beatrice: You looking for a job, deary? Pearl: Yeah! I need one as soon as possible. It's a life or death situation, actually. Beatrice: Oh, my goodness. Are you in danger? Pearl: In danger of never seeing my friends 'cause I don't have a job. Beatrice: Come with me. Pearl:  Weird. I've never been in this part of the mall before.  Ugh! What's that smell? Beatrice: Oh, probably one of the many perfumes that we sell here at Grandma's Apron! Congratulations! You're hired. Pearl:  Oh, this is the best day of my life! Beatrice:  Ah!  Well, I can't quite afford to be picky these days. The only other employee besides me was Myrtle, and she's... no longer with us. Both: Myrtle: Almost forget my shades! See ya later, suckers! Marina: Hey, Pearl. Over here. Nocturna: Did you find a job? Pearl: Yeah, I got a job at Grandma's Apron. Marina:  Pearl, you cannot be serious. Nocturna: Ew, that store is for old people. Nixie:  Old people are so... old. Pearl: Old people aren't that bad. Are they? All: Marina: Hey, girls. I smell moth balls. Pearl: Well, we are having a sale on them. They're 25% off today. Nocturna: Um, isn't it your nap time, Pearl? Nixie: Where's your muumuu, granny? All: Beatrice: Oh, don't let those bubble-headed nincompoops get to you, Pearly. Pearl: But it's not fair. Beatrice: Life's not fair, my dear. We all go through hard times at some point. Here, look. See? I was different from the other girls, and they teased me for it. They called me Boring Beatrice. Not very creative, those girls. Pearl: Who would even take a picture of that? Beatrice: Oh, good ol' Jonesy from the AV Club took that one! Pearl: Wait, but who took that picture-- Beatrice: All that matters, Pearly, my dear, is that things will soon change. But in the meantime, you should be having as much fun as possible. Let me show you how grandmas do it. Both: Pearl: Whoa, come back here, yarn! All: Marina:  Love the shoes, Pearl. Pearl: You guys just don't get it. Being a grandma is fun. I get to sit in a rocking chair, dust tchotchkes, bake cookies, knit mittens, hats, and scarves. All: Nocturna: Scarves. Pearl: It's actually, like, the most coral store in the whole mall, so you can all just... just... eat barnacles! All: Beatrice: Now, now, girls. Let's be polite. Marina: What are you gonna do about it, granny? Beatrice: Granny power! Power! Power! Marina: All: Beatrice: Pearl, toss me the Autumn Years perfume. Pearl: Hi-ya! All: Marina: It smells like pills and bed pans. Whoa! Beatrice: All: Beatrice: Well, now that you're all sitting down, let me tell you about the first time I ever saw a talking picture show. Oh, boy, did they know how to talk. Nixie: No, please! I can't take anymore! Marina: It's... so... boring! Nocturna: No, I hate the past! Narrator: One hour later... Beatrice: And that's why today, we all wear shoes. Marina: Okay, okay, we get it, we will stop being mean, I promise, just let us go! All: Whoa! Marina: Listen, Pearl. We didn't mean to hurt your feelings or anything. We just, like, think it's weird that you're, like, a grandma now, or whatever. We don't really get it. Pearl: Well, I don't care what you think anymore anyway. I'm being true to myself, and--and that's all that matters! All: Eh. Pearl: I'm a grandma now. Right, Beatrice? Beatrice: Oh, Pearl, I'm so glad you enjoy being a grandma, but your friends make a good point. You're only young once, you see. You don't want to grow up too fast or you'll miss out on all the fun. Pearl: I guess you're right. Being a grandma is nice and all, but I do miss being a super hip young person. Beatrice: Go have yourself some fun, my dear. Ah, ah, ah, ah. How 'about a nice, gentle handshake instead? Pearl: Hey, wait up, guys! I want to be friends while I'm still young! Beatrice: I'll see you tomorrow.",You dropped this. Patrick! Guess what came in the mail today!
Patrick: Oh! What?!,This...
"Patrick: Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy lost episode! Stick it in! SpongeBob and Patrick: Gagagaga! Chorus: Faster than light! Prepared to stop crime! It's Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy! SpongeBob and Patrick: Yeah! Chorus: If you're in a jam, It's Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy! Fish Head: The Adventures of Mermaid Man And Barnacle Boy! Tonight's episode: The Secret Meeting!  Deep in the Mercave, something strange takes Mermaid Man's attention! Barnacle Boy: The Dirty Bubble? What's he doing at the bus stop? Mermaid Man: Looks like he's got a one-way ticket to Bikini Bottom, and there's only one thing he could be up to in Bikini Bottom, Barnacle Boy! Barnacle Boy: That's right, Mermaid Man! Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy: Evil! Dirty Bubble: Haherhaherherherher! Fish Head: The Terrible Man Ray! Dirty Bubble: Hm, so glad you could make it! Man Ray: I wouldn't miss this for the world, Dirty! Hahahahah. Fish Head: The most powerful of all crustaceans, it's Jumbo Shrimp! It’s the Atomic Flounder! The abomination of a nuclear experiment gone horribly wrong! And the terror of the sewers, the man eating Sinister Slug! Dirty Bubble: We join forces at last. Mermaid Man: It's worse than I could have imagined! A team up! Dirty Bubble: Welcome to the BGATFBC! Everyone: Muhahahahahahahha! Mermaid Man: April third, 12 of noon! That's tomorrow! Barnacle Boy: Holy... Patrick: Hey!",Hehehe! Don't worry! I can fix it!  Deeae!
"Barnacle Boy: Great Guppies, Mermaid Man! We gotta do something! Mermaid Man: Not so fast, little flipper! We are far too out-manned! But fear not. We are always one step ahead of evil! Fish Head: Our Hero of the bride puts up a call! Mermaid Man: To the ocean's greatest heroes! Lady: Mermaid Man: Yeah, I can hold. Fish Head: Meanwhile, a sinister horde congregates outside Hotel Evil! Dirty Bubble: Right this way, gentlemen! Jumbo Shrimp: Hey, what's going on in here? Dirty Bubble: Huh? Oh, I'm dreadfully sorry, gentlemen, you must be in the wrong room! This room is reserved for the B.G.A.T.F.B.C. Mermaid Man:  That's funny. I thought it was aside for the I.J.L.S.A. Dirty Bubble: I.J.L.S.A? What in coral caverns is that? All Bad Guys: Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy! Mermaid Man: That's right!  Now, before you have to say goodbye, say hello to some friends!  The Elastic Wasteband! Barnacle Boy: Greet the hottest crime fighter in the country!  Professor Magma! Professor Magma: Mermaid Man: The illusive Miss Appear!  And The Pi-Right Ponderer with his hairnet of knowledge! Pi-Right Ponderer: Do we really exist? Mermaid Man: Together, we are The International Justice Lodge of Super Acquaintances! Dirty Bubble: Let's get ‘em, boys! Jumbo Shrimp: Do not tussle with the B.G.A.T.F.B.C! Pi-Right Ponderer: Violence resolves nothing. Man Ray:  Good night, balloon boy! Miss Appear: Professor Magma! Catch! Barnacle Boy: Step aside, you copious cod! My beef is with the bubble! Mermaid Man: Careful, Barnacle Boy! He's got Nuclear Touch! Atomic Flounder: Raaaa! Barnacle Boy: Nuclear Touch! SpongeBob and Patrick: Aaahh! Patrick: I Can't watch! Mermaid Man: Fracturing furniture! Hang tight, buddy! Mermaid Man: Hang in there, my daring deputy. FaceHand: Your daring deputy is nothing right now! But I'd be happy to pass along out the message! If he ever wakes up, that is! Mermaid Man: Swirling Shrimp! That fiend has taken control over Barnacle Boy! Elastic Waistband: What do we do, Mermaid Man? Mermaid Man: I'm glad you asked!  I believe that if the Atomic Flounder were to touch that wretched growth, it would cause a chain reaction, reversing the polarity, and the molecular level, restoring Barnacle Boy to his natural state! Does that sound about right, Professor Magma? Handface: You'll never do it! You don't have the moxie! Mermaid Man: That's what you think, curd!  Shield!  Ha, Ha, Ha!","Look out, Mermaid Man!"
"Mermaid Man: Sinister Slug: Grrrr! SpongeBob and Patrick: Yay! Mermaid Man: The Sinister Slug's slime has got you stationary and stiff! Which means, your time is up, Hand! HandFace: Not Nuclear Touch! Barnacle Boy: Great Gravy! What just happened? Mermaid Man: I'll tell you about it later, now let's take out the trash! Pi-Right Ponderer: Please, you can use my hairnet of knowledge. Mermaid Man: Thank you, Ponderer. Dirty Bubble: No! No! You Guys don't understand! It's not what you think! Mermaid Man: You really thought you were going to get away from it, did you? First up, villains, what’s the BGATFBC? Man Ray: It stands for the Bad Guys All Together For Book Club! Mermaid Man: Book Club? You mean you weren't going to destroy a library or something? Man Ray: Why would we do that? We're almost to the new chapter! Atomic Flounder: What are you going to do, lock us up for reading? Jumbo Shrimp: Yeah! You can't prison us for reading! Mermaid Man: That's right. Remember, kids, no one can imprison you for reading! Patrick: Hey, what happened? Why are those squiggles on the screen?","Those are called End Credits, Patrick."
Patrick: End credits? But I don't want it to end!,That's why Neptune gave us the rewind button!
"Patrick: Thank you, Neptune! (at Shady Shoals rest home) Grandma Plankton: How about a little more, Plankton, or has this old granny had enough for one night? Plankton: Oh, Grandma, you know I always have more pudding for you! Grandma Plankton: Oh, that looks simply delightful! Plankton: You once told me that this was your favorite flavor growing up as a child. Grandma Plankton: Ration? Plankton: Uh, no, chocolate. Open up! (feeds the pudding to Grandma) You can let go of the spoon now, Grandma. There. Oops, looks like you've got a little on your face. Here, let me. (wipes off the pudding) There you are. There you are, darling. Grandma Plankton: Oh, Plankton. You always were my favorite granddaughter! Nurse: Five minutes until bedtime, Mr. Plankton. Plankton: Well, Grandma, that's the sweetest, most tender... Nurse: Five minutes, Mr. Plank... Plankton: I heard you the first time! Now, where were we? (Grandma is asleep) Grandma, don't forget your teeth. Grandma Plankton: (spits out teeth and coughs) Plankton: Ooh. Uh, uh, now, now, Grandma, just relax. There, there. (Grandma is asleep) That's perfect! (puts the teeth in his mouth) Perfect! (laughs evilly) Why didn't I think of this before? No one can say No to a helpless little grandma! (thinking. He is at the Krusty Krab. 'female voice) Excuse me, Sonny, I'd simply love one of your Krabby what's-it's, but my delicate digestive system has special needs, and I'll need to see a complete list of ingredients. You wouldn't want me to be up all night with painful bloating, would you? Mr. Krabs: Goodness, no! (gives the formula to her) Here you are. Plankton: Thanks, Sonny! I'm just going to take it home; I left my bifocals there. (laughs evilly as imagery fades) '(Bubble transition)","La-la, la-la, la-la! La-la, la-la, la-la! (playing in the bathtub. He shoots a squirt of water with his hands. The squirt of water goes through his holes at the top of his head then lands on the bar of soap) Yay! A direct hit! (uses a bar of soap as a walkie-talkie) Threat neutralized, Captain. ... Roger. Over. ... Uh-huh. Right away, Captain. All hands, prepare to dive! Repeat: prepare to di-- (Plankton, disguised as Grandma knocks on the door. He clears his throat) Hi, lady!"
"Plankton: (female voice) Why, SpongeBob. Don't you recognize me?","Ehh, not really..."
"Plankton: It's me, your dear old great-grammyma!","(gasps) Quick, come inside! (inside of the pineapple) Wow, my very own great-grammyma. Why have we never met?"
"Plankton: I want to know all about your life—your job, where the secret formula is... (stammers) I mean...","I'm so glad you came back... (rubs his finger across Plankton's chin) ...Double-Great Grammyma. (Plankton pushes it away and shudders) You're cold. Let's wrap you up in something nice and cozy. (Bubble transitions over to Plankton wrapped up in a blanket on a couch) Okay, lean forward. (Plankton grumbles as he does so. SpongeBob puts a pillow behind his back) There we go, now lean back, Grammyma. It's the coziest pillow I have. (Plankton does so but sinks into the pillow. He is yelling from it. SpongeBob reacts) How about we look through some old family photo albums? (SpongeBob runs to get them but Plankton is still stuck in the pillow. Cuts to SpongeBob laughing) Here's a picture of me when I developed my first appendage. (a picture of flattened SpongeBob tied to a balloon) Pretty neat photo album, eh, Double-G Grammyma?"
"Plankton: It was certainly interesting, but I'd like to hear about your more recent affairs, like where you work, for instance.","Ha, ha, ha, ha, don't worry. I've got pictures of that too... (shows stacks of photo albums) ...but we have a couple more from my early childhood to get through first."
Plankton: Never let it be said that I didn't suffer for my occupation. (it is night which turns to morning and rooster crows everyone up. SpongeBob and Plankton are asleep. SpongeBob wakes up and exclaims. He looks happily at Plankton),Great-Graaaaaaamyma...?
"Plankton: Huh?!? Oh, I had the most horrible dream of my life! I was dressed up as...! (looks up to see SpongeBob still looking happily at him) Holy mother of Neptune, it's true.","Good morning. I'll go and fix us a nice breakfast, and then we'll spend the whole day together!"
"Plankton: Uh, sounds delightful. (takes off glasses. evilly laughs) Heh, heh, heh, heh, heh. (puts on more lipstick. Bubble transitions over to SpongeBob and Plankton walking down the street)","So, Grammyma, what kinds of things do you active seniors like to do?"
"Plankton: Actually, SpongeBob, I said I wanted to see your life, remember?",Hmmmm... (flashback of Plankton)
"Plankton: I want to know all about your life—your job, where the secret formula is... (stammers) I mean...","(goes back to the present) No, you couldn't possibly care about any of that stuff. Your life must be way more full and exciting."
"Plankton: Well, uh...","(grabs Plankton by the arm and carries him) Come on, it'll be fun! (Bubble transitions over to the place called Grandma's Tea House. SpongeBob drinks tea) Ahhh. Isn't this tea delicious, Grandma?"
"Plankton: Why, yes! (drinks the tea then spits it out on a coaster) How can you drink this dreck?! (all of the grandmas gasp) Heh, heh, heh, heh... What I meant to say was, More, please. (bubble transitions to other grandmas and SpongeBob knitting)","Knitting circles sure are fun, eh, Grammyma?"
Plankton: Nope. (he has his arms in a yarn circle),Why are you not having fun?
"Plankton: Why?! Because I don't knit, you nitwit! (his yarn circle gets pulled and so does he by a grandma)","Are you sure? 'Cause you make a real nice scarf. (Plankton is knitted into a scarf. Bubble transitions over to Plankton and SpongeBob playing Canasta. Plankton puts down a Joker card with his cards the A of clubs, the two of spades, and the five of diamonds) Oh, Great-Grammyma, you win again. All hail the great Canasta masta! (Plankton takes his Joker card and rips it in half and throws it on the table) Grandma, you getting bored?"
"Plankton: No, I'm getting hungry. I can feel my own stomach acids eating away at my organs. I could eat a village!",Would you settle for a Krabby Patty?
"Plankton: (reacts) Would I? (laughs. Then laughs maniacally. He clears his throat) Uh, yeah, I would. (bubble transitions over to SpongeBob and Plankton walking to the front entrance of the Krusty Krab) Uh, SpongeBob, would you mind terribly if we used the rear entrance? I'm a little shy around new people.","Hmm... Hey, Grammy, do antenna run in our family?"
"Plankton: Antenna... What?! No, I...!","(laughs) Oh-ho-ho-ho! Ah, she really is shy. Nobody ever uses this door except for me and... (Squidward bursts open the front door holding a garbage bag) ...Squidward!"
"Plankton: AAAH! Squidward: SpongeBob, you have been warned about lurking back here on your days off!",I'm just bringing in my great-grammyma for some lunch.
Squidward: Your what?,"My great-grammyma! (points to Plankton but he's not there) She must be hiding. Well, she did say she was shy."
"Squidward: Right... (starts dumping the garbage in the trash can) SpongeBob, I promise not to tell Mr. Krabs about this if you promise that I don't have to see you again for the rest of the day. (Plankton is hiding in the trash can. He gets a lot of garbage all over him. He starts coughing. SpongeBob walks over to the trash can)","Grammy, there you are. I was starting to worry."
Plankton: Never mind. Just get me into the kitchen!,"(cuts to him and Plankton walking in the kitchen) Well, here it is."
Plankton: At last!,"Grandma, I'm just gonna go make sure the restrooms are stocked. You, know, real quick—it's part of my day-off duties."
"Plankton: Okay. I'll be standing right here when you get back, and not off somewhere snooping around for the secret formula or anything.","Ha, ha, ha... What?"
"Plankton: Nothing, go ahead! (laughs menacingly. He pulls out a green balloon which is a decoy of him dressed as Grandma. He stretches it then blows it up) Let's see how this decoy floats your boat. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! (the balloon floats away and goes above Plankton who is checking under the dirty plates for the formula. The balloon lands in the drain of the sink)","Okay, Grammyma, that's taken care of. I... (calls) Grammyma! She must've made her own way up to the cash register all by herself! Maybe I'll catch up on my dish-washing while I have the chance. (walks to the sink) The Krusty Krab manual says it is always a good idea to start by turning the garbage disposal on, just in case there is any leftover rubbish in the sink. (turns the garbage disposal on. The balloon starts ripping into a million pieces) Sounds like there's something stuck in the si- Grandma! (the balloon finishes ripping. Plankton looks up) Oh, I can't bear to look! (starts crying. Plankton thinks for a bit) Oh, Double-Great-Grammy-Grams, you were so soft and fragile like a... like a... like a... like a balloon!"
"Plankton: SpongeBob, SpongeBob, up here!","Grandma, is that you? Are you all right?"
"Plankton: Oh! I'm all right, but I've been ground to a pulp. If only there was a nice, cool, safe place nearby, like a safe nearby, where I could rest and recover.","Well, there is the safe where Mr. Krabs keeps the Krusty Krab secret formula that Plankton's been trying to steal for the past bunch of years, but I don't think he'd mind if my dear old grammyma rests in there."
Plankton: Why would he?,(carries Plankton over to the safe. He opens the safe which is filled with coins and cash. He puts Plankton on top of a stack of cash) Here you go. I'll come back for you a little later.
"Plankton: Oh, I feel better already. (begins snoring)","Sweet dreams, Grammyma. (closes the safe. Plankton starts laughing menacingly. He gets up)"
"Plankton: Sweet dreams, indeed, fool. Only this dream is about to become a nightmare, for Mr. Krabs! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha...! (Grandma Plankton's teeth fall out) I'm just going to savor this moment, because for once in my life—for once in my life—I feel truly alive! (Grandma Plankton grabs her teeth) Grandma Plankton: Plankton! (Plankton gasps. Grandma Plankton takes her glasses off his face) You've been a very naughty boy, Plankton! Plankton: B-But-But-But I... (Grandma Plankton takes her wig off his head) Grandma, I can... (Grandma Plankton takes her dress off Plankton's body) Grandma Plankton: I've been looking all over for this stuff! Plankton: Grandma, I can explain! Grandma Plankton: (grabs Plankton by his right antenna and drags him out of the kitchen) I'm sure you can. Plankton Jr., you know you always were a... (stops at one of SpongeBob's feet)","Grandma? (gasps) You caught Plankton! Let me guess—trying to steal the secret formula, right?"
"Grandma Plankton: Get out of my way, rapscallion! (SpongeBob does so) I've had enough foolishness for one day. (Plankton groans. Grandma Plankton drags him out of the Krusty Krab. The episode ends) French Narrator: We take you now to Encino, California, where we find the President of the SpongeBob SquarePants fan club.. flipping burgers?! Patchy: Hey, kids! Potty and I took jobs flipping burgers so we could be just like our hero...SpongeBob SquarePants! Potty: I took the job for the free sodas. Patchy: Potty, don't you have dishes to wash? Mr. Pirateson: Argh! Patchy: Oh, hey, kids! Say hello to my boss, Mr. Pirateson. Mr. Pirateson: Arrrrrrrrrgh! Patchy:  One order of Scurvy Fries, one large Bilge Water. Mr. Pirateson: Argh! Arrrgh! Patchy: Uh, Diet Bilge Water. I'll get right on it sir.  Ahhhhh! Potty: P.U.! What died in there? Patchy: Oh, Potty, you're just in time to see me new Pirate Patties! I call this one Buried Treasure. Potty: Where'd you dig that one up? Patchy: I call this one Walk the Plank. Potty: I'm already board with that one. Patchy: This'll blow out your old bird brain of yours. Behold! The Patchy Patty! Patchy Patty: Ahoy! Potty: Aw, that's the worst one yet. Patchy: Potty Parrot, you are never supportive of me! I don't wanna be your friend anymore! I never wanna see you again! Potty: Brawk, Patchy, no!  Boo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Brawk! Squawk! Patchy: You know, this isn't the first time that a patty's come between two good chums. It happened once in Bikini Bottom. Here, take a look while I......pull myself together. Mr. Krabs: Hmmm, something ain't right. Mr. Krabs: For me? Squidward: Don't you find this a tad suspicious? Mr. Krabs: Suspicion doesn't hold a candle to birthday wishing. Plankton: Surprise!",Duck!
"Plankton: Disengage! Mr. Krabs: Me secret formula! Plankton: Happy Birthday, Krabs!","Don't forget your condiments, Plankton."
"Mr. Krabs: Attaboy, SpongeBob!",Safe!
"Plankton: You'll rue the day we were born, Krabs. I'll be back.  Oh, barnacles.","Why, Mr. Krabs? Why does he hate us so?!"
"Mr. Krabs: Well, you might as well blame me, SpongeBob.  There was a time when Plankton and I...were...best friends.",Best friends?
"Mr. Krabs: Friends at birth, you might say. Even as wee ones... Baby Plankton: Goo. Everyone: Aw! Mr. Krabs: ...things were all peaches and cream... ...until we hit grade school. Young Eugene: Hey, Planky. What'cha doing? Kid Plankton: Oh, just a little something I thought I'd try out.  Idiots! I'll show you with science! This concoction is going to blow everyone away. Billy: How's this for a science experiment, Mr. Brainatron 5000? Kid Plankton:  They'll pay for this one day, Eugene! Mr. Krabs:  Darn tootin'. Hey, barnacle brains, I think you owe Plankton an apology. Billy:  You're right, Plankton, I'm sorry.  Sorry you have to hang out with Rag Boy. Classmate #2: Yeah. Where'd you do your clothes shopping, the trash can? Mr. Krabs:  'Twas true. I did get me clothes from the trash.  You see, when I was growing up, times were tough. Me mother had to.... ....fashion me clothes from rags. Mama Krabs: There you go, son. Your outfit's all finished. It's a good thing Old Man Jenkins was kind enough to spare his last washcloth. Old Man Jenkins: Oops.  I missed a spot. Mr. Krabs:  Then one day, as Plankton and I plotted our revenge, I met the love of me life. Kid Mr. Krabs: What in Neptune's name is that?  It's the most beautiful thing me eyes have ever seen! What is it?! Kid Plankton: It's money. Mr. Krabs: Moneyyyyyyyyyy? Plankton: Yeah. You can buy things with it. Kid Mr. Krabs: Buy things? Mr. Krabs:  So, I spent it on a gift for me best pal Plankton. All: Wow!","Got your secret recipe, Mr. Krabs. You have no idea what that went through to get here."
"Mr. Krabs: I've got a pretty good idea, yeah. SWAT Fish #4: So, if you guys were such great friends, what happened?","Yeah, Mr. Krabs. What did happen next?"
"Squidward: Yeah. I really wanna know. Mr. Krabs: Listen up, Squidward! Because this is where it gets juicy. It all started in a place called Stinky Burgers. It was the only place to get a burger. The kids loved Stinky.  And Stinky loved the kids. Stinky: Now, what can I do for you, young 'uns? Billy: Uh, Mr. Stinky? I'll have one burger, please! Bully #3: Me, too, Stinky! Stinky: Oh, now, now, kids. There's plenty of burgers for everyone. Big Johnny: That's why we like you so much, Stinky. You always deliver the goods. Bully #5: We don't like Stinky, we respect him. Stinky: Well, which one is it, kids? Do you like or respect me? Big Johnny: Like! Bully #5: Respect! Big Johnny: Like! Bully #5: Respect! Stinky: Okay, let's just meet in the middle and say you li-spect me. Mr. Krabs: Excuse us! Plankton: Valuable customers coming through. Big Johnny (in Billy's voice): What are those dorks doing here? Mr. Krabs: Two Stinky Burgers, please. Stinky:  Did your brains dribble out all over the sidewalk you slept on last night? If it's burgers you want, go around back. All: Yeah, Stinky! Billy: Thanks for keeping the nerds out. Bully #2: You're the best, Stinky. Stinky: Okay, that's enough, kids. Gather around, children. There's something I want to tell you. What I have to say is very important. If you remember one thing for the rest of your life, remember that without your kind patronage, I'd be a penniless loser like Rag Boy.  Do you two have kelp for brains? Don't you understand? If you two yahoos come around, you'll drive away all the normal customers. I've worked too long and too hard to make this a li-spectable business. As it is, I can barely afford the essential things in li...  Is it quitting time already?  Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to enjoy some of life's essentials. Plankton: Did you hear that, Krabs? By flipping burgers for those cretins, he was able to gain their li-spect. Mr. Krabs: Did you see that fat stack of loot? I bet if someone made a better burger, they'd have a fatter stack of loot.  But who has the ability to make such a burger? Who has the skill? Plankton: Skill, schmill, Krabs, baby. Who needs skill when science is on your side? We'll make that burger, and when we do, we will rule the school! Patchy: I miss Potty. I remember the first time we met.  If I could only hear his voice. Potty: Less talking and more working. Patchy:  Potty! You came back to apologize! Potty: I came to tell you to get back to work! Patchy: Hey, you can't tell me what to do you... Huh? Assistant manager? How did you become assistant manager? Potty: Oh, a little thing called the G.E.D., my man. Patchy: Oh, here we go again with the fancy book-learnin'. Customers love me cookin'. Why, we're almost out of doggie bags. Patchy: Oh, Potty, what am I doing wrong? Potty: You just need some practice, that's all. Patchy: Ahh, me patty's done. Potty: Smells like an unswabbed poop deck! Patchy: Oh, fine. I'll eat it!  Oh, for the crime of befouling me taste buds, I order you to walk the plank!  Ah. Oh, well, I bet SpongeBob's first patty didn't go so well either. Potty: Brawk, roll film.  A perfect patty on the first try. Patchy: Oooooh, I'll make a Potty Patty out of you! Potty: You're unsanitary, Patchy. You keep raw hamburger meat in an old boot! Patchy: Well, that's what gives it its special flavor. Potty: You've got rats in the kitchen! Patchy: Oh, I brush and shampoo them daily. Who's Patchy's little princess?  Ow! Mmmm! Don't do that! Potty: And you should wash your hands after using the bathroom. Patchy: What? Every time? Potty: That's not all! This is a step in the right direction. Patchy: What kind of a pirate wears a hairnet? Potty: The same kind who wears a Kiss the Cook apron. Patchy: Well, you'll never know, Potty. I might get lucky. You hear that, ladies? Patchy's available. Huh? Potty: Now I feel sick. Patchy: That's it, you feathered snake! This time you gone too far! Potty: Brawk, you missed! Squawk! Is that all you got? Potty: Now you've done it. Mr. Pirateson:  Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh! Patchy: Yes, Mr. Pirateson.  You kids watch the rest of the cartoon, while I watch Potty get fired. Mr. Pirateson: Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh! Patchy: Coming, Mr. Pirateson, sir. Mr. Krabs: So we went back to our secret hideaway, the dump, to prove to those chowder heads that a burger could be semi-edible and easy to swallow. We made sure to keep careful record of our progress. Plankton: Gently. Gently. Mr. Krabs: We finally emerged the best-looking burger under the sea. We went back to Stinky's to rub our patty in those kids' greasy faces. But Stinky's had been shut down by order of the Health Department. So we seized the opportunity and converted our hideout into a restaurant.  Our adventure into capitalism began. One dollar, please. Plankton: There you are, sir. Mr. Krabs: 'Twas me first dollar I ever earned, and 'twas also the start of a beautiful, romantic relationship with money. Fish Kid: Hey! Your burgers are even worse than Stinky's. We can barely keep them down. And if it weren't for Stinky's shutting down, no one would eat here. So give me a burger. I'm starving. Plankton: Just look at them, Eugene. The very people who ridiculed me are now feasting on my recipe. Mr. Krabs: I thought it was our recipe. Plankton: I'm ruling their stomachs. And soon I'll be ruling their minds! Mr. Krabs: But what about satisfying the customer? Plankton: Barnacles to the customer, I'm talking about ruling the world!  And with this secret recipe, nothing will stop me! Mr. Krabs: Give me that! Plankton: Stop! You're gonna bust it! Mr. Krabs: Burgers aren't for ruling worlds! Plankton: I'm terribly sorry, Eugene, I couldn't hear you. Could you come closer? Maybe stand on the tile in front of you? Mr. Krabs: Which one? The one that says Eject or the one that says Trap Door? Plankton: Oh, either one will do. Mr. Krabs: What I was saying was...  YOU'LL REGRET THIS ONE DAY!!  And he always did. Plankton:  Lies! Mr. Krabs: Hold on there, me boy. We don't need to go through that again. Plankton: Very touching, but completely false. Mr. Krabs: Don't know what you mean. Plankton: Why don't you tell them the truth?","It did happen that way, didn't it, Mr. Krabs?"
"Plankton: Most of it's true, except for what really happened! We had created the tastiest burger. That's when things became unsavory. Mr. Krabs: First, I'll rule their stomachs and then...  ...their money! Plankton: But what about satisfying the customers? Mr. Krabs: Barnacles to the customers!  I'm talkin' about coins, cash, wallets, bank accounts! And with this secret recipe, nothing will stop me! Plankton: Gimme that! Mr. Krabs: Stop, you're gonna bust it. Plankton: This isn't about money, Eugene. Mr. Krabs: Malarkey. Plankton: YOU'LL REGRET THIS ONE DAY!!  Ouch.   Our little squabble only got me part of the recipe.","Gosh, Mr. Plankton, that doesn't sound like the Mr. Krabs story at all."
"Karen: That's because it isn't. SpongeBob, Mr. Krabs, & Plankton: KAREN?! Karen: You're both liars. That's not how it happened at all. In those days, I was just starting out as a security system. Plankton and I met when he installed me. Plankton: It was only our third date. Karen: Anyways, I had recorded the whole thing in my databanks. Plankton: Now that's a handsome looking burger. Mr. Krabs: You said it, old chum.  Attention! Get your Plankton and Krabs patties right here!  Do you think it was a good idea to open in the dump? Plankton: What's that music? Mr. Krabs: I'd know that theme song anywhere. It's Old Man Jenkins. Old Man Jenkins! Old Man Jenkins: I just been looking for some new shoes for Ol' Bessie. Mr. Krabs: You've help me mom and me through some tough times. It would be an honor if you'd be the first to try our delicious burgers. Old Man Jenkins: Why, I'd be happy to! Mr. Krabs & Plankton: Yeah! Mr. Krabs: Plab Patties KO Old Man J. I can't believe we poisoned that sweet old guy. Plankton: Well, he is old. Mr. Krabs: Hey. That guy is like family to me. Plankton: Well, it was your fault the patty was tainted. Mr. Krabs: You're the one who put too much seaweed sauce in the burger. (The Subtitles in Netflix reads You're the one who put too much seaweed sauce in.) Plankton: You let it sit out too long. That's what did it! I'm taking the recipe and fixing it. Mr. Krabs: No way, that recipe's mine! Plankton: Stop, you're gonna...  You wanna fight over this recipe, I'll give ya a fight you'll never forget! Mr. Krabs: Well, that's ruined. But, no use letting this go to waste. These kids'll eat anything.  I've done it. I've discovered the perfect patty batter. Karen:  Meanwhile, Plankton was back at the elementary school. But this time, he was going it alone. Mr. Krabs: Oh, no you don't! This is my turf. Plankton: I think not, Rag Boy! Mr. Krabs: What?! Why I oughta squash you right now! You little... Plankton: Get out of my face! Bully #3: Hey, look! Nerd fight. Billy: I bet five bucks on Rag Boy. Plankton: Aha! We'll let the customers decide whose burger is better. Step right up, gents. Get a delicious Chum Burger right here. Billy: Big Johnny will eat anything. Plankton: Have a Chum Burger, Johnny, sir. Karen:  Plankton had pieced together his own creation using memory and science. Plankton: Go on, sir! Tell your buddies what you think! Billy: I'm gonna try one of Rag Boy's burgers. Mr. Krabs: Here ya are, sir. You are the first to taste a Krabby Patty. Billy: Flavor! Bully #5: Edible! Bullies #2 and #6: We can actually hold it down! Abigail-Marge: This is the most flavortastic sensation my still-developing taste buds have ever experienced! All: Yay, Rag Boy! Plankton: I'll show you, Krabs! I'll steal that cursed recipe from you one day, and I won't stop till I do! Mr. Krabs: Woo-hoo! My recipe was, is, and always will be the best! Plankton: You wouldn't have that recipe if it weren't for me! Mr. Krabs: You callin' me a liar? Karen: Will you men stop yelling at each other? I can't believe you let a recipe ruin such a wonderful friendship! Mr. Krabs: You were my only true friend that didn't have a president printed on him. But money doesn't hug back. Plankton: My life has been nothing but a long line of disappointments since we became enemies. All these years I've been trying to steal your formula. But I was really just trying to steal back our friendship. Mr. Krabs: Really? Plankton: It's all I ever really wanted. To get back to the way it used to be. You and me against the world! How about a hug, Krabs, old pal? Mr. Krabs: I'd like that, Planky, old chum.","Doesn't it just warm your heart, Karen?"
"Karen: I suppose it would. If I had one. Plankton: I'm sorry, Krabs, old buddy. Mr. Krabs: Me, too. Me, too. Plankton: Now, Karen!  Back off, Rag Boy!",Sabotage!
"Plankton: Go, Karen! Patchy: Ohh, that Plankton never learns, does he, kids? As for me, I decided to take some time off to catch up on me reading. Potty: Hey, you didn't take time off, you got fired! Patchy: Hey, you got fired, too! Potty: I got a golden parachute. Patchy: Well, at least I know they'll never ever be able to replace me. Potty:  Looks like they already did. Patchy: What!? They let a smelly, hairy fleabag like that serve food? Gorilla:  Ohhhhhhhhh! Ohhhhhhhhh! Ohhhhhhhhh! Ohhhhhhhhh! Patchy: Hey, watch it, ape! Patchy: Watch the patch! Ow! Ow! No! Please! Gorilla: Ohhhhhhhhh! Ohhhhhhh...! Patchy: Ooh! I have a tomato allergy! Ow, right in the buns! Narrator: And so, kids, always remember to follow your dreams. Unless you're Patchy, then just stay in bed. Narrator: Ah, observe the majesty of the mighty iceberg.  This frozen giant, normally found floating in polar regions, can sometimes  stray into warmer waters, causing dramatic changes in climate  for tropical, undersea life. Johnny Elaine: Yes, it seems Old Man Winter paid us a visit late last night, and he brought with him not a pillow or a sheet,  but a blanket... a blanket of snow!  Yes, from Jellyfish Fields...  to residential abodes...  to bustling downtown...  it's nothing but the white stuff.",Whoopee!
"Johnny Elaine: And local residents are taking notice! Fred: Hey! Plankton:  What's this? Drops of rain frozen into ice crystals? I shall harness their energy and rule the world!  Ahh... oh, stop! I wish to rule you! Patrick: Snow angel!  Oh...  Hey!  Thanks a lot, SpongeBob! While you were just standing there whistling, someone threw a snowball at me!","Oh, really, Patrick?  Did the snowball look like this?"
"Patrick: Yeah.  This is serious, SpongeBob. Someone's after me. I think I better leave town.","Patrick, I threw it. We're having a snowball fight. Don't you get it?"
Patrick: Snowball fight? I want to play! I want to play!,"Well, first, you have to make a snowball."
"Patrick: Oh, yeah. A snowball.  Oh, this is gonna be great!  Huh?  Wha...?  Aw...! SpongeBob, could you help me make a snowball?","Sure, pal."
"Patrick: Thanks, buddy.",Patrick! How could you?
"Patrick: It's a snowball fight, remember?",Oh yeah.
"Squidward: Ah, yes. Warm fire, cozy slippers, and a piping hot cup of tea with a lemon wedge.  Why do I even bother?  Would you two please keep it down?!","Squidward! You're just in time to enlist in my army! Join me, and together we'll defeat the Pink Menace!"
Patrick: That's me!,"I can start you off as a buck private, but with hard work, perhaps you can rise through the ranks and become a regular private!"
"Squidward: Thanks, but no, thanks, Major Stupidity. You and General Nonsense over there will have to fight without me.  Got 'em Both.  Grrrrrrrr!","Patrick, you fool! This was over before it started! I will now consider your unconditional surren-...  ...-der.  So that's how he wants it to go down."
Patrick: Huh?  Ha! You missed me!,Score one for the boys back home!
"Squidward: Yes? Oh, Patrick.  What an unpleasant surprise. Oh, boy, nothing like a game of charades. Patrick:  I was trying to tell you that I was choking on snow, but the snow melted and turned into water, and I drank all the water, now I'm better. Squidward: Fascinating.  Now, where was I?  What? Patrick:  Can I use your bathroom? Squidward: Patrick, go use your own bathroom. Patrick: I don't think I can make it! Please? Squidward: No. Patrick: Please? Squidward: No. Patrick: Please? Squidward: No. Patrick: Please! Squidward: Okay, make it quick. Patrick:   That's okay.","Aha! Aiding the enemy! I've caught you red-handed, Squidward!"
"Squidward: Look, SpongeBob, I was just...  SpongeBob! Oh... Patrick: Yay! Squidward's on my side! Squidward: I most certainly am not!",Then that means he's on my side!
"Squidward: No, SpongeBob, I'm not on your side either. I'm on nobody's side. Snowball fights are for immature children and I will not stoop to your level.  If you two want to knock each other's brains out with snowballs, kindly leave me out of it. Patrick: Come on, SpongeBob, let's go knock each other's brains out!",I'm ready!
Squidward: Hmm...,"Okay, Patrick, it's out."
"Squidward:  Now there's something I'd actually like to see!  Nothing wrong with getting a front-row seat, I suppose.  Ahh. What's this?  Wha... I... no!  What are you doing? You're supposed to be  knocking each other's brains out!","We signed a peace treaty, Squidward.  You were right, fighting is for children."
"Squidward: No, no, no, I misled you, it's for adults too! Give me that peace treaty!  There! Let the war continue!","Squidward, that wasn't the peace treaty. That was a copy of the peace treaty."
"Squidward: Look, you two are giving up too easily. Now, Patrick, pretend I'm SpongeBob. Patrick: And who am I? Squidward: You're Patrick.",Can I be Mr. Krabs?
"Squidward: No! Wait, why?",He's a good leader.
"Squidward: Would you butt out?! Patrick: Hey, you can't talk to Mr. Krabs like that, Squidward! Squidward: I'm SpongeBob! You're Patrick!  Now, what are you going to do?  Patrick, why didn't you hit SpongeBob? Patrick: You said you were SpongeBob, SpongeBob.","Argh! It's true, Mr. Squidward! Now get back to work!"
"Squidward:  Oh, boy. All right, I can see where this is going. Let's just say for all intents and purposes that I, Squidward, am now part in this war. Now...","If you're in this war, then where's your fort?"
"Squidward: I don't have one, okay? Now... Patrick: You got to have a fort, Squidward.","Forts win wars, Squidward."
"Squidward:  Okay, fine! You want a fort?  There. There's your fort! Now... Patrick: Your fort's too small, Squidward. Squidward: It's okay, Patrick. It's just a demonstration. Now...","He's right, Squidward. That thing would never protect you. It's downright puny."
"Squidward: Trust me, it's fine.","See, it is too small."
"Squidward: Not if I crouch down. I mean, you didn't even give me a chance to crouch down.  See? Down here, I am perfectly...",Exposed.
Squidward: Would you two please...  ...stop throwing...  ...snowballs?!,Squidward returned fire!
"Patrick: Then it's war! Squidward: No-no... no, wait, wait, wait!  I was just giving a demonstration!  All right, that's it! You guys asked for it!  I got him! Ha! I got him!  In your face, SpongeBob!  This was actually kind of... exciting! Why... I've never felt so alive! Patrick:  He got you good, SpongeBob!  Take cover! Squidward:  Take that... I got you... Yeah... oh, I got you... oh, take that... Whoa, I got you that time... Oh yeah...  Incoming! Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob?","Yes, Patrick?"
Patrick: I think Squidward's taking this really seriously.  That last one had his clarinet in it.,Hmm... looks like it's time for Plan B.
"Squidward: What's going on? The snowballs have stopped falling. I better take advantage of this momentary cease-fire.  What? My left flank is exposed? That bloated starfish is gonna run right through me!  I'll just fix that right now.  Wait, that makes my north wall a weak spot! Here we go! Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.  Oh, oh, oh! But if they attack from the rear, I'm a goner!  There... Ha-ha!  But what about the possibility of an aerial attack!  I guess that ought to do it!  Fort Squidward is now all but impenetrable!  Now, where are those fools?  Ha! The first shot has been fired!  Take this, Patrick!  Taste my frozen fury!  Victory is mine!  Whee! Ha-ha! Well, I got you now!","Did you hear something, Patrick?"
"Patrick: Nope. Man on TV: Get out the snowshoes and the shovels. Sandy: Howdy, neighbor. It's your old pal, Sandy Cheeks with a true to life tale direct from Bikini Bottom. It's the end of another long day, and every critter in town is getting ready to hit the hay. Farmer fish:  Whoo-hoo! Sandy: Even little old SpongeBob and Gary are laying down their weary heads.",Night Gare-bear.
"Sandy: Now snails love to sleep, but they also like to have their fun. And clever little Gary here is no different.  With a dang nifty decoy in place, Gary is ready to hit the town. Sandy: But first things first. That gooey little varmint is mighty hungry.  It may not look like much to you and me, but this here is four-star dining to a snail. Sandy: Now, Gary never minds running into a friend, but old Patrick here don't seem ready to share his meal. Sandy: Ol' Gary feels as big as a ten-point buck right now, but he's about to be reminded that life ain't all fun and games. Especially when animal control is on your tail. Marvin: Freeze, slime ball! Gary: Meow. Marvin: Hmm? Sandy: As much as Gary likes getting one over on the heat, he has more important matters to attend to. Sandy: This here is old Plankton's restaurant, the Chum Bucket. Gary ain't here for vittles, though. No one's ever at the Chum Bucket for vittles. Gary: Whew! Sandy: That there's Spot. Plankton's pet amoeba and Gary's best friend. Gary: Psst. Sandy: Spot's cute, but about as dumb as a barrel of hair.  Gary better think quick or they'll both be busted before their night's even begun. Plankton: Ough! Sandy: Ol' Gary and Spot have been sneaking out for ages though their owners are none the wiser.  They love playing all sorts of games together, but their doggone favorite is wrestling. Sandy: It's the Krusty Krab kitchen. What a stroke of luck. Sandy: Gary and Spot must have worked up quite an appetite with all them fun and games. Sandy: Uh oh. That ice box is locked up tighter than a horse thief in a hoosegow. Sandy: Oh boy. It's chow time. Sandy: Whoo-whee! Looks like Gary is cooking up some fun. Sandy: It may not be pretty, but to a critter, chow is chow. Marvin: Come out, come out.  Oh, there you are.  Ha ha! I've got you this time. Mr. Krabs: Ahem. Marvin:  Animal control, citizen. I'm hunting an errant snail. Mr. Krabs: I don't give a sea fig about snails! You tripped me silent alarm!  Just look at this mess!  Take that, you varmint!  Take that! Marvin: Ow! Ow! Ow! Sandy:  Looks like our boys gave Johnny law the slip again.  Reckon they're gonna need some place to lay low for a while. Gary and Spot: Whew! Sandy: Uh oh. Looks like their hiding spot's already occupado. Sandy: Luckily for them, Gary and Spot are already pals with everyone here. Patrick: Let's get this party started! Sandy: Uh oh. Looks like the fuzz ain't gonna give up so easy. Marvin: Hey, this is my jam. Sandy: They say that music soothes the savage beast. Marvin:  Oh, yeah, Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Sandy: But sometimes it works on knuckleheads too. Marvin:  That's how you do it. You do it. You do it.  Uh, you animals are under arrest?  Uh... Uh oh. Sandy: Youch! That's gotta hurt. Oh mama! Sandy: I guess this party just got pooped.  Luckily, SpongeBob's little Gare-bear always has something under his shell. Sandy: Locked doors are never a problem for a snail like Gary. Sandy: Now to most animals, the pound is scarier than a bobcat in your long johns. But Gary and Spot are on a mission to save their pals. Gary: Ah-ha! Patrick: Huh? Gary:  Meow! Shhh! Gary: Hmm? Marvin: Oh, Marvin, you can catch every snail in Bikini Bottom, but the only thing you've really caught is loneliness.  And kennel cough. Gary:  Meow. Sandy: Marvin here ain't kith nor kin to Gary, but that don't matter none. Gary could never bear to see anyone looking so down. Marvin:  I need another snot rag. Marvin: Hey! How did you animals get out? Marvin: Wh—wh—what's going on? Patrick: Et voilà. Marvin:  She's beautiful. Marvin: Oh! That's so good! Marvin: I do. Marvin: I can't thank you all enough. You brought love into my lonely life. Everybody's free to go. Patrick:  Why am I running? Sandy: With their friends rescued, it's time for our boys to finally get some shut eye. Gary: Meow? Sandy: After his long night of adventuring, Gary is more tired than a bronco on busting day.","Come on, Gary, you lazybones. It's time to wake up. Oh, well, maybe a few more minutes wouldn't hurt."
"Sandy: Well, that's the long and short of it. See y'all next time for more true to life tales of Bikini Bottom. Gary: Shh! Squidward: My, what a beautiful day it is outside.  Too bad I'm cooped up here in the Krusty Krab.","Who are you talking to, Squidward?"
Squidward: Just like I always seem to be on a nice sunny day.,"Look at it this way, Squidward: Things could always be worse."
Squidward: Worse? How?,"Well, uh... Uh...you could be sick."
Squidward: Sick? Is that really any worse?,"Being sick is awful! The aches, the running nose, and the fever are bad enough. But that's not even the worst part."
"Squidward: Oh, really.",No. The worst part is missing a glorious shift here at the Krusty Krab. Squidward? Squidward? Squidward!
"Squidward: Huh? Oh, SpongeBob. I'm suddenly not feeling very well.",What's the matter?
"Squidward: Well, Uh. Let's see. Uh. I got a scratchy throat and, uh,  dry mouth, and my, um, uh, my eyes are itchy.","Squidward, what could it be?"
Squidward: I'm not sure. But I fear I might be coming down with a dreaded illness.,Ah! What is the name of this horrible illness?
"Squidward: Name? Oh, uh. Per, swees, swer, squeer, uh, squid's disease.",What?
Squidward: Squid's disease.,What?
Squidward: Squid's disease!,Squidward. I think the disease is affecting your temper.
Squidward: SpongeBob? SpongeBob.  What are you doing back there?,"I hate to be the bearer of bad news, Squidward, but I think the best thing for somebody in your condition would be to  go home and not come back until you're fully recovered."
"Squidward: Well, SpongeBob,  I think you're probably right.","I'm so sorry, Squidward."
"Squidward: Well, I, I better go break the news to Mr. Krabs. Mr. Krabs: You're sick?! Squidward: Mr. Krabs: Well, you don't look any sicker than you usually do.  You know what. I better give you the old navy onceover just to be sure. Squidward: The what? Mr. Krabs: Now open wide. Mr. Krabs:  Tongue looks fine.  Eyes, check. Squidward: Ow! Mr. Krabs: Forehead feels normal.  Now let's see those kneecaps.  Reflexes are a little slow. But I'd expect that from you. Squidward: Wonderful. Mr. Krabs: Well, Mr. Squidward, in my expert opinion, you look fit as a fiddle. Squidward: But, Mr. Krabs... Mr. Krabs:  Mr. Krabs nothing. Squidward: But I... Mr. Krabs:  Mr. Krabs nothing! Squidward: But... Mr. Krabs:  Mr. Krabs nothing! Just go ahead. I'm gonna keep sayin' it. Squidward: And what about the customers? You don't want them to get sick, do you? Mr. Krabs: No. And I don't want them to get hungry either.  So step to it, Mr. Squidward. Oh yeah, and get well soon. Squidward: Squidward:  SpongeBob, would you bring that order to table 3, puh-lease?","Right away, Squidward."
"Squidward: SpongeBob.  Turn around, please.",Yes.
Squidward: And just what is that supposed to be?,"Oh, this. It's a number 2: Krabby Patty with cheese, medium drink..."
Squidward: Not that. Not that. The thing on your face.,"Oh, this."
Squidward: Yes.,"Oh, this is a precautionary measure in case should anyone in the workplace happens to fall ill, which in this case you have. Then I wear it to protect my body from spreading germs and bacterias."
"Squidward:  Hi, SpongeBob.","Hello, Squidward."
Squidward: Could I see that?,"Um, actually no."
Squidward: Because I find this all so very inte...  ...resting.,Mr. Krabs!
"Mr. Krabs: Neptune's Knee-highs, lad! How many times do I have to remind you to knock?!",Mis...ter...Krabs!
Mr. Krabs: That's better. Now what can I do you for?,It's Squidward. He's sick.
Mr. Krabs: That's funny. You're the second person today whose told me that.,Who was the first?
"Mr. Krabs: Squidward. But I checked out that slimy green cashier personally, and if he's sick, then I'm the next mayor of Marmalade Mountain.  Doesn't sound like a bad gig actually.","But, Mr. Krabs, you have to believe me. Squidward's got a horrible disease called Squid's Disease! Scratchy throat, itchy eyes, dry mouth, fevers, and boils, and missed workdays!"
"Fish: One Krabby Patty, please. Mr. Krabs: Mr. Squidward, got a minute? Squidward: Oh, of course. It's not like I'm busy working or anything. Mr. Krabs:  We've got a situation with the kid. Something's got him spooked. Mr. Krabs: He can't cook in this condition. No cookin, no patties. No patties, no money. Squidward: And you're telling me this, why? Mr. Krabs: I need you to make yourself scarce for a while. Squidward: So, you're telling me to go home? Mr. Krabs: Well, I don't care where you go, just as long as you get outta here! Squidward: Yippee! Thanks, Mr. Krabs! I mean","Poor Squidward. My favorite thing about Krabby Patties is...  My favorite thing about Krabby Patties is...  That's funny. My eyes feel itchy.  And my throat feels scratchy, too.  Itchy eyes, scratchy throat...  Even my mouth feels dry!  I've contracted... Squid's Disease!"
"Mr. Krabs:  SpongeBob, everything all right in here?","Everything's fine, captain. Just a little, uh, howl for pleasure."
"Mr. Krabs: Well, how about a little less pleasure and a little more work?","If Mr. Krabs finds out I have the Squid's Disease, he'll send me home, just like Squidward. Wait a second! That's it! Why go home when I have Grandma's down home folk remedies right here?  Grandma always said: 'If you might be coming down with an illness, just stick your feet in hot water.'  Or was it cold water?  Something tells me it wasn't that either. Of course! It wasn't hot water or cold water! It was boiling oil!  Uh-huh. I can definitely feel the medicinal qualities.  Oh no!"
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob! You sure everything's alright?,"Yes, everything's fine in here.  Just dandy.  I better conceal these unslightly blemishes or Mr. Krabs will get suspicious.  This super hot spicy yellow mustard will do the trick. Well no, actually that burns real bad.  Stay calm. Just need to cool it off. Cucumber! Cucumber will cool it off! We'll just need to find some—  pickles! Pickles are like cucumbers. Sweet relief, here I come.  Sweet vinegar, it burns! It burns! It burns!"
"Frankie Billy: Do you guys hear what's going on? Harold: Yes, and I'm very puzzled. Nat Peterson: So am I, in fact, I might even be a little concerned. Harold: Well, I don't know if I'd go that far.","Sorry, I think I might be coming down with something."
Harold: Coming down with something? Nat: I refuse to be served by a sick fry cook. Harold: Me too. Let's get outta here! Frankie Billy: Good idea! Mr. Krabs:   Me customers!  You look terrible.,"Thank you, Mr. Krabs."
"Mr. Krabs: Well, I can't just stand by while me restaurant becomes a breeding ground for infection. SpongeBob, go home. That's an order!",But who's going to run the restaurant?
Mr. Krabs:  Who's gonna run it? I could run this place blindfolded with one claw tied behind me back. I'll show ya. Squidward:  Who thought that having an illness could feel so good?,"Hi, Squidward."
"Squidward: Oh, no! What happened to you?","I... fell ill. Mr. Krabs won't let me work again until I'm better. Well, at least we can spend the day recovering together. After all, misery loves company. Right, Squidward?  Squidward?"
"Squidward: Well, so much for enjoying the great outdoors. But at least I can relax and enjoy  some afternoon tea.","That sounds like a great idea, Squidward!"
"Squidward:  SpongeBob, what have I told you about coming into my house?","I figured I can't make you well, Squidward, but I can at least make you comfortable. I brought hot compresses, tissues, the good kind with snail butter, and even a romantic comedy for us to watch. I know they're supposed to be funny, but they always make me cry."
"Mr. Krabs: 25 Krabby Patties!  Order up! Order up! Order up! Henry: Hey, I didn't order a table patty! Shubie: Yeah, or a window patty! Fish 3: Or a face patty! I want a refund! Television: Female: I love you Ted. Male: Ditto.","Wasn't that great, Squidward?"
"Squidward:  Oh, yeah, howdy. That's too bad it had to end. Finally.","Oh, don't worry. We have all 99 sequels to watch next."
"Squidward: Oh, would you look at that. I'm suddenly feeling much, much better. I think I'm going back to work now, bye.","Squidward! Squidward, wait! Squidward! You're not well enough to return to work! I can't let you!"
Squidward: Please just stop! Stop following me!,Squidward! Squidward! Squidward!
SpongeBob and Squidward:  Mr. Krabs? Mr. Krabs:  I told you. I could run this place all by myself. Blindfolded with one claw tied behind me back.,"But, Mr. Krabs, what are you doing here lying on the floor?"
"Mr. Krabs: Well, SpongeBob, funny you should ask. Because in me expert medical opinion, I think I may be coming down with a nasty case of Squid's Disease.",Squid's Disease? I know just the cure!
"Mr. Krabs: Romantic Comedy?! No!  Ahh! Get that thing away from me! Narrator: Ah, Goo. Lagoon. A stinky mud puddle to you and me, but to the inhabitants of Bikini Bottom, a wonderful, stinky mud puddle.","What a great day.  Hey, Sandy... look!  I'm Sandy!!"
Sandy: Hahahahaha!,"Hey Sandy, who am I?  Hello, SpongeBob? Could you keep it down? I'm trying to be boring."
Sandy: SpongeBob!,Did anyone order twenty pepperoni and sand pizzas?
"Larry the Lobster: Hey, Sandy. Hey, SpongeBob. Sandy: Hey, Larry. Larry: You guys wanna go lift some weights? Sandy: Sure.  Well, come on, SpongeBob.",Coming.
"Larry: Give it a try, Sandy.","Good job, Sandy. Well, that's about enough for today, don't you think?"
Larry: How about a little more weight?  Observe.,"All right! Stand back, everyone!"
"Sandy: Y'all watch this!  Way to go, Larry!",Could I borrow a couple of these?
Darwin:  Mm-hmm.,"And now, with the addition of two, COUNT 'EM, two marshmallows!"
Scooter: That was too funny.  You are hilarious! Sandy: Ain't he the funniest little Sponge you ever saw? Larry: Anybody up for some volleyball?,I got it!  Incoming!  Oops... I guess I ripped my pants again!
"Scooter: Once again, dude,  YOU have split my sides!","Hey, Sandy, how about throwing it to me?"
"Sandy: Okay, here it comes!",I could use a hand here!
"Sandy: You okay, SpongeBob?",I guess so...  ...except I ripped my pants!
"Scooter: You still got it, dude! Lou Vendor: May I help you?",I'll take a banana split.
"Lou: Uh, we don't have that.","That's okay, I already split my pants! Get it???"
Lou:  Tee-hee. Anything else?,"How about, ripple?  No, thanks, already got one.  Is that a burger you're eating?"
"Harold: Why, yes, it is.",You know what would go good with that?
"Harold: No, what?",Ripped... pants...  Ripped pants a la mode!  Delivery! Did you order twenty cases of ripped pants?
"Perch Perkins: Surf's up in the Goo Lagoon.  And here comes Larry, doing his trademark lay-back.  There goes Sandy, hanging ten... fingers, that is.  There goes SpongeBob...  ripping his pants again. Lifeguard: Hey, look! A cardboard box washed up on the beach!  HOLY FISH PASTE! IT'S A GUY!!!  WHY?! WWWUUHHHYYY-HY-HY-HY?!! WWWUUHHHHAAAAAA-HY-HYY-HYYY-HYYYYGH?????!!!!! Sandy: SpongeBob!",Come closer...  I need... I need...
Lifeguard: What do you need?!,A tailor.  Because I ripped my pants!!
"Sandy: That wasn't funny, SpongeBob! Y'all had me worried sick! Scooter:  Dude...","Come on, SpongeBob, you're losing them! Think. Your public's waiting.  Let's see...  Lifting weights - big laugh, Frisbee in face - kills, Surfing - knocks 'em dead, Pretending to drown,  Noooooooo. Come on, think. I got it! Hey, everybody!  Not ripped pants!  Pants ripped off! Huh? Someone call the police, there's a pants thief on the loose!  Oh, no, everybody's gone, even Sandy. She'd rather hang out with Larry! Oh, no.  We blew it, pants."
"Pants: What do you mean, we?","Oh, I didn't have to be a fool to get Sandy's attention. Am I the biggest loser on the beach?!"
"Jennifer: No, I am. I forgot to put on sunscreen.",Ouch.
"Dexter: No, I am. I got sand in my buns. Frank: No, I'm the biggest loser on the beach. They buried me in the sand and forgot me. All: What happened to you?",I lost my best friend.
All: How?,"When I ripped...  my pants.  I thought that I had everybody by my side, but I went and blew it all sky-high, and now she won't even spare a passing glance, all just because I  ripped my pants."
"All: ♪When big Larry came round just to put him down, SpongeBob turned into a clown, and no girl ever wants to dance with a fool who went and  ripped his pants!♪","♪I know I shouldn't mope around, I shouldn't curse, but the pain feels so much worse. 'Cause winding up with no one is a lot less fun than a burn from the sun...♪"
All: ♪Or sand in your buns!♪,♪Now I learned a lesson I won't soon forget... so listen and you won't regret. Be true to yourself; don't miss your chance... and you won't end up like the fool... who... ripped... his... pants!♪
Sandy: SpongeBob!,Sandy!
"Sandy: Your song is true. If y'all want to be my friend, just be yourself. Larry:  SpongeBob, that was so righteous.   Would you... sign my pants??","Absolutely, buddy."
"Karen: Oh, it was so great catching up with you, Hanna.  It's been too long. Karen: Oh, you poor thing. Sounds like you have a bug. Better go home and reboot.  Remember, only keywords tonight. You need to rest your processor. Plankton:  Karen! Karen: What do you want? Plankton: Oh, no. Your nodes are swollen. That old bucket of bolts gave you a computer virus. Karen: Oh, nonsense. I'm the fastest computer alive. Karen: Uh-oh.  My ones and zeroes look like 10, 10, 10, 10. Plankton: Someone's gonna have to get inside you and kill that virus. It's probably a suicide mission.  But who would be stupid enough to— What now?","Oh, I'm just helping out the Health Department."
"Plankton: Hmm.  Sanitary notice. The Chum Bucket hereby gets a grade Z from the Health Department.  Hey, that's up from a negative Z last week.","Congratulations, Plankton. In a few more years, you're sure to get an F.  Whoa!"
"Plankton:  Never mind about that. I have a snow job—Uh, job for you. Karen needs your help. She asked for you personally. Karen:  ♪Who lives in a crabapple under a pea♪","Hey, catchy song."
Karen: ♪Observant and yellow fellow is he♪,"We need a name for this mission. How about, Journey to the Center of Karen? No. The Mainframe Mission. Nah. Ooh, I know. Operation: Save Karen."
"Plankton: Whatever, just blast the virus when you see it.","Oh, like this?  Oops."
"Karen:  That tickles. Plankton:  Here, use this.","But Plankton, how am I supposed to— Whoa! Ow!"
"Plankton:  Don't worry, baby. Help is on the way. Karen: Get away. Plankton: Ow!",Whoa!  Super-awesome-ular-tastic!  Wow!  Huh?
"Plankton:  SpongeBob, can you hear me?  Come in, SpongeBob.  Talk to me, you digitized doofus!","Plankton, I do not respond to insults."
Plankton:  Okay. Just look for any destruction and follow it to the virus. Sweetheart.,"Got it, Honey.  Whoa!"
"Karen:  I want a Krabby Patty! Plankton: Baby! Karen:  Bye-bye! Plankton:  SpongeBob, hurry up and kill that virus before it completely destroys Karen! Karen: Knock, knock! Plankton: Huh? Great Neptune's nostrils!","Huh?  Hmm.  The virus! Plankton, it looks like the virus is heading to Karen's memory banks."
"Plankton: Listen, if it gets to her memory, it'll fry her hard drive completely. I need you to destroy that virus right now! Mr. Krabs: Plankton, I need you to control your wife. Er, computer, or whatever. Plankton: Mind your own business, Eugene. Mr. Krabs: This is my business! Karen: Hello there, baby! Where've you been all my life? Mr. Krabs:  Please don't break up our happy home. I forgive you, baby. Plankton: Wow, I can never unsee that. Karen: Intruder detected.",Plankton?
"Ideal Plankton: That's my name.  Actually, I'm Karen's version of Plankton. You know, how she'd like to see me.","Ooh, you have beautiful eye."
"Ideal Plankton: We'd better get moving. Karen: Anger control center abolished. Karen: Love center destroyed. Money Krabs: Money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money...","Mr. Krabs, is that you?"
Ideal Plankton: It's Karen's version of Krabs.,"Hey, looking good, Mr. K."
Gnarly Squid: I hate everything. Ideal Plankton: That's how Karen sees Squidward.,"Hmm?  Uh, nothing like a little make-up couldn't fix.  Hey, I wonder if Karen has a version of me down here."
"Off Model SpongeBob: Woop, woop, zing, zing. Woop, woop, zing, zing.","Ooh, now that guy's a hunk."
Karen: Intruder in section B. Eliminate.,Ow!  Yeowch!
"Gnarly Squid: Owie, owie, owie. Ideal Plankton: What a drip. Off Model SpongeBob: Ai-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi! Off Model SpongeBob: Ai-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi!",Duh.
Off Model SpongeBob: Duh.,Doy.
Off Model SpongeBob: Doy.,Duh.
Off Model SpongeBob: Duh.,Doy.
"Off Model SpongeBob: Doy. Ideal Plankton: Neptune's network! Which one of you is the real SpongeBob? Ideal Plankton: I'll have to use all the computation power I have to figure this out. Eeny, meeny, miney, moe.","Duh, duh, doy, doy. Duh, duh, doy, doy."
"Ideal Plankton: Oh, no. I think I destroyed the wrong SpongeBob.","Duh, duh, doy— How do I look?"
Ideal Plankton: Stunning. Ideal Plankton: Hmm. Voracious virus! Ideal Plankton: There's still time to save Karen.  You first.,Whoops. Did I do good?
Ideal Plankton: You did great. But I think you could use a little push.,"Whoa, okay, your turn."
"Ideal Plankton: It's up to you, SpongeBob! You must save Karen!",No!
"Ideal Plankton: What do you mean, no?!","I mean, yes!"
"Plankton: Uh, sweetie, maybe we should slow down and pull over. Honey? Precious? Karen: No way, Plankie! It's me and you, amigo! Whoo-hoo!  Oh, hot dog! Let's go dancing! Whoo-hoo!  Whoo-hoo, yeah! Whoo-hoo! Plankton: How are all these people able to dance here in the middle of the day? Don't they have jobs? Karen: Whoo! Plankton: SpongeBob, come in, SpongeBob! If you're gonna do anything, do it now! Karen's about to melt down! Female hick: Oh, such a cute one-eyed baby. Plankton: SpongeBob!","Stop munching on those memories, you monster! Hi-yah! Meow? Plankton, I'm at the edge of Karen's memory! She has to create more memories! I need space to run."
Plankton:  Is my running after here enough of a memory?,"Oh, I'm afraid not. I always wind up with one extra piece.  Oh, you must be hungry. That's why you're eating through Karen."
Virus:  I'm always hungry.,"You poor, ugly, disgusting little virus. I know what you need."
"Plankton: SpongeBob, I've decided to pull you out! We're abandoning Operation: Save Karen.",I got the virus.  Look.
"Virus: Hi, there!","Here you go, little fella. It'll take the virus 300 years to chew its way through this sandwich."
"Virus: Whoo-hoo! Karen:  Oh. Huh? Plankton:  Baby, you're all right! Karen: Nope. I'm still delirious. But I like it! Squidward:  SquarePants and Star Babysitting? Oh, please. What do you two nitwits know about taking care of babies?",Just watch!
Squidward: Huh?,Safety pin!  Ointment!
Squidward: Goo.  Goo...,"Aww, such a good wittle Squiddy."
Squidward: No one in their right mind would ever hire you as babysitters! Mother: Yoo-hoo! Babysitters!  I could use some babysitters here!,"Oh, boy! SquarePants and Star Babysitters at your service!"
Patrick: We sit on babies!,Not literally.
"Patrick: Yeah, not in Italy. Mother:  Now you kids behave and listen to the babysitters. Bye now!","Bye!  Whoa! A whole liege of little darlings.  Alright, Patrick, you take East plank, and I'll take the West, and we'll try to establish a map zone in the middle."
Patrick: Hahahaha! These babies are no match for my... toddler style!  Ow.,Bring her down! Yeah.
SpongeBob and Patrick: Shh...,And they all lived happily ever after inside an oyster shell.
"Mother: Aww... Thank you, SquarePants and Star.",Babysitting!
Patrick: Skinny or chunky! Clean or funky!,We won't get paid if your kid's mislaid!
"Mary: Oh, boys, right here! Oh, I could use a babysitter! Patrick: Yay!","Ooh!  While you go out, and dance, and drevel..."
Patrick: ...While we watch your little devil! Mary: Yes! Thank you!  Thank you!,Wait! Where's the baby?
Mary: She's inside! I'm free! I'm free! Hahahahaha!,Baby!  Baby?
Patrick:  Is this the baby?,"Hmm? No, I, I don't think so."
Patrick: Huh. Oh!  This looks like a nice baby girl.,"She's nice, but she's not a baby.  Wait a minute.  I found the baby."
Patrick: Eek! That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!,"Patrick, all babies are beautiful. Even the ugly ones, and we don't know the baby's name is."
Patrick: She looks like she's been in the tub too long. Let's call her Baby Prunes.,What a pretty name! Little Baby Prunes.
Mary's Mother: Who are you?! Where's lazy Mary?! Patrick: The baby can talk! Mary's Mother: Help! Help! It's a robbery!,"No, Patrick, Baby Prunes is just mimicking what she's heard. It's just baby talk. She's babbling."
"Mary's Mother:  I'm not babbling, you bone heads! Patrick: Feeding time!  Here comes the airplane.  Yum. Playtime!  Kids love to build things with blocks! Mary's Mother:  Oh, I'll build something alright. Mary's Mother: Put me down you yellow scouring pad! Unhand me!  No!  Get me out of here!  Ow! Ugh! Ouch! [Screams.}",Oooo! Who's a colicky baby? It's you!  Coochy coochy coo!
Mary's Mother: Bleh.,I'll go up and prepare a bath for Baby Prunes for when she wakes up.
Patrick: Okay. While you're doing that I'll just space out. Uhhh...,"Strange... There don't seem to be any baby items in here. Hmm...  Okay, pills, pills, dentures, more pills, hemorrhoid cream.  Happy birthday to mother on her 137th birthday. Aw.  137th birthday?! Ohhhh! Baby Prunes isn't a baby, she's an old lady!"
"Mary's Mother: Come on, come on! Patrick: Is that a puppy I hear? I didn't know they had a puppy. What is it puppy? You wanna go out? Mary's Mother: Oh. Patrick: There you go puppy. Mary's Mother: So long sucker!  Uh... Patrick: Huh, the puppy knows baby talk too...",Patrick! She's not a baby!  Where's Baby Prunes?
"Patrick: I dunno, I just let the puppy out.",That was no puppy!  That was an old lady! An old lady that we're responsible for! If you were an old lady where would you go?!
"Patrick: Ah, I don't know back in time?!",What about a sewing circle?
"Patrick: Ah, yes a sewing circle back in time.",Come on! Old lady Prunes?  Have you seen a baby that's really an old lady?
"Bakery Cashier: Oh, look they have shmoods on their faces.","No, not that. Ah, where's baby/old lady Prunes?"
"Patrick: No, no gross. French Narrator: Meanwhile... Surfers: Yeah! Mary's Mother: Yee-Haw! Lavabunga! Skydiver: What are you doing you don't have a parachute? Mary's Mother: Parachutes are for babies.  Oh yeah!",Prunes!
Patrick: Old lady Prunes!,Old lady baby Prunes!
"Mary's Mother: Well, if it isn't my two babysitters! you humiliated me!","Prunes, you're alive!"
Patrick: And still talking baby talk! Mary's Mother: Why!,"Ahh, Pruny wants to play nice old lady"
"Patrick: Ah, boxing tired her out. SpongeBob and Patrick: Shh...","Ah, another job well done.  Uh, Patrick, I think she needs to be changed."
"Patrick: No, that's me.","Ah, I don't know how you do it, Gare Bear, but that's the best cup of French toast I've ever had."
Gary:  Meow.,"Well, time to punch that clock. But not before checking my motivational Quote-a-Day calendar. You are a winner. And today's the first day of summer!Happy first day of summer, Squidward! Care to join me for solstice caroling?Walking in the grass,it's so fine,don't need shoesin the summertime!"
"Squidward: I'm not much of a summer person, SpongeBob. Mr. Krabs: Davy Jones on the jib! Do my ears deceive me? Is it really the first day of summer? Is it?",Yeah.
Mr. Krabs:  Whee-hoo!,"Gee, Mr. K., you sure have a scorching case of summer fever!  What is it about summertime that makes us so happy? The firefly-lit nights, the intoxicating aroma of a charcoal briquette, the hypnotic sound of a lawnmower running over a flip-flop?"
Mr. Krabs: The money!,The money?
"Mr. Krabs: Er, uh... I mean, uh... the children!",Oh.
"Mr. Krabs: You see, boy, during the summer, the children are excused from their classes, a recess commonly referred to as summer break.",Tell me more about summer break.
"Mr. Krabs: Well, during this summer break, the children wander Bikini Bottom unsupervised, their pockets lined with allowance.  Free to spend their money without any parental guidance whatsoever.  I guess that's what I like best.  Sure, I suppose some would try and take advantage of this situation by selling them toys or candy, but I sleep well at night with the knowledge that I'm providing them with something they need: a nutritious meal.  Come here, you little piggies!",I've been taught the true meaning of summer.
Narrator: Later...,"Almost closing time, Mr. K."
Mr. Krabs: What? But that's impossible.  What about the money? I mean uh... uh... what about the children?  I guess summer isn't coming this year.,"Hey, maybe they're all at that new playground over there."
"Mr. Krabs: Playground? Luring away me young customers? Warm up the boat, SpongeBob.","See anything, Mr. Krabs?"
"Mr. Krabs: Oh, they're here, all right. Just look at them, SpongeBob.  So weak and malnourished.  With nobody trying to sell 'em nothing.  Breaks me heart.  No! I've got nothing to live for, SpongeBob!",The way you drove the boat while lying on the ground was kind of cool.
"Mr. Krabs: True. But that's not gonna get these munchkins away from this playground. Unless... hmmm... see you tomorrow, boy. Got a lot of work to do.","You got it, Mr. Krabs... hey!  Another day, another dollar. Gee, I wonder what Mr. Krabs has been up to since I saw him last and then went home to do nothing of particular interest 'til this very moment.  Huh?"
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob!  You're just in time for the grand unveiling of Krabby Land!,"Krabby Land, sir?"
"Mr. Krabs: Yes, Krabby Land!  Where a kid can have fun... for the right price.  Welcome to the Krusty Krab, young man. What's your name? Monroe: Monroe. Mr. Krabs: Nice to meet you, Monroe. Monroe: Whee! Mr. Krabs:  Mmm... a-ha!  Okay, money. I mean, err... children. It's time for the grand unveiling of... money! I mean, Krabby Land!  Okay, kids, now promise Uncle Krabs that if you get hungry while you're playing, you'll come inside for some delicious, nutritious Krabby Patties. Kids: We promise. Mr. Krabs: All right, here we go! I give you... Krabby Land! Kids: Yeah! Tyler: Whoa! Ooh, where am I? Mr. Krabs: Eh... that reminds me. I forgot to give you these coloring books/liability waivers!  Everyone who hands theirs back gets to meet the one and only Krabby the Clown! Kids: Yay! Mr. Krabs: Have fun and don't forget to eat plenty of vitamin-enriched Krabby Patties.  Krabby the Clown's favorite meal. Kids: We want Krabby! We want Krabby! We want Krabby! We want Krabby! We want Krabby! We want Krabby! We want Krabby! We want Krabby!","Where is Krabby, Mr. Krabs?"
Mr. Krabs: He'll be here after I count their money. Just stall 'em.,Stall 'em? How do I do that?
Mr. Krabs: I don't know. Be entertaining.,"Hey, kids!"
Monroe: You're not Krabby the Clown.,"No, I'm not. I'm, uh...  I'm Krabby's beloved sidekick, the Krabby Patty..Umm... Burglar!"
Tyler: Lame.,"Krabby will be here soon. He, uh, had to take the bus. But in the meantime, let's have some fun! You kids like bubbles?"
Monroe: No.,"Well, you've never seen my bubbles.  Voila! A bubble shaped like a jellyfish. How 'bout that?"
Tyler: Still lame.,"Okay, prepare to be blown back on your tailfins.  Ta-da!  Uh... huh."
Kids: You stink! Bring on the clown!,"Okay, uh... and now for a finale!"
Kids: Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo!,"My eyes!  Whoa!   They seem to respond to me being in pain. They enjoy other people's misery.  Hey, kids, check this out."
Kids: Woo-hoo!,I got 'em right where I want 'em.
Kids:,Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
Kids: Yay!  Yeah!,Ugh. Mr. Krabs? I can't take any more of this stalling stuff.
"Mr. Krabs: Always thinking about yourself. Get out there and stall! What happened to your arms and legs, boy?",The kids are using them as... boomerangs.
Mr. Krabs: Boomerangs? Oh no! They might break my windows!,What are we gonna do?
"Mr. Krabs: Well, now that all their money's counted, tell them Krabby has just arrived!","Really? He's here?  Oh, boy! Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy!"
Mr. Krabs: Get out there and tell 'em!,"Listen, everybody. Krabby the Clown is in the building!"
Kids: Yay!,Who do you want?
Kids: Krabby!,When do you want him?
"Kids: Now! Krabby, Krabby, Krabby!  Krabby! Hooray! Mr. Krabs: Hey, kids! Are you ready to meet Krabby the Clown? Kids and SpongeBob: Yay! Mr. Krabs: All right, here you go!  Hey, kids! Uh, thank you all for coming! Thank you. Eat plenty of Krabby Patties!  Ah, Krabs, you've done it again!",I'll say you have.
Mr. Krabs:  SpongeBob?,"How could you, Mr. Krabs? You promised these children Krabby the Clown, but all I saw out there was... Cheapy the Cheapskate!"
"Mr. Krabs: Hey, I ain't cheap!  Now take this tomato back to the kitchen before it spoils.",But what about the true meaning of summer? What about the children?
"Mr. Krabs:  The children? I don't care about the children!  I just care about their parents' money. Ah, the fact that their feeble minds are easily manipulated by cheap playgrounds and talentless clowns is no skin off my nose!  Survival of the fittest, SpongeBob! Survival of the fittest. Kid: Ahem. Mr. Krabs: Huh?  Oh, hey kids.  Uh... Uncle Krabs has to go to the bank now. Heh. Monroe: Get him!","I suppose I'll never know the true meaning of summer. I thought I knew it once, but that was a long, long time ago."
Squidward: You mean this morning?,Yeah.
"Monroe: Come on outside, Mr. SquarePants. It's a summer miracle! Kids:  Yay! Hooray!","Wow, thousands of dollars fluttering in the breeze. I guess that's the true meaning of summer."
Kids: Hooray!,Where's Mr. Krabs? He's missing out on all the summer fun.
Mr. Krabs:  Let me go! I gotta get some of that green stuff!  No! Not that green stuff!  Noooooooooo! Gary: Meow.,"Thank you, Mr. Postman. Thanks, Gary.  Hm, can't read the return address.  Maybe this will shed some light.  Hey, SpongeBob, it's your cousin BlackJack. Guess what? I'm out of prison and decided to pay your parents a visit. If you want to see them again, meet me for a wrestling match at their house. Try it little man. BlackJack.  Cousin BlackJack's out of prison?!"
Gary: Meow?,"That's right, Gary, the cousin BlackJack! The same cousin BlackJack that used to beat me up all the time when we were kids!"
"Young BlackJack:  Come on, little man! Let's go a couple of rounds, if you think you're tough. Young SpongeBob: Why should we? Young BlackJack: Because it'll show what a little man you are.","Oh, no. That was years ago, Gary!"
Gary: Meow.,My sentiments exactly. Just imagine what he must look like now!
"BlackJack: Hi, SpongeBob. It's been a while. Good to see that you're still a little man.","That brute has my parents! I got to get over there!  Gary, I don't know how long I'll be gone. I don't know if I'll ever come back."
Gary: Meow.,"I may get beaten to a quivering pulp but I must do it, for the sake of my parents!  Oh, my gosh, what happened to my parents' house? What's this? Do not cross? Is that police tape? There's only one reason for the police being here: a crime has been committed! NO! Get it together, SquarePants! To face BlackJack, you've got to be as tough as nails!  Huh? What?! All the furniture is covered in plastic! The police must have covered everything to preserve the crime scene. What could have happened here?  What's this? BlackJack smashed my family portrait! Oh, no! What has he done with my parents?!"
"Mrs. SquarePants: Oh, darling, it's so nice to spend quality time with you; what with you in the office all hours of the day. BlackJack: I got a new outfit for ya!","That fiend! Where did he take them? I must find more evidence. What's this? Another note.  SpongeBob, I paid your parents a visit. Now, I'm going to do the same with Gramma! You better hurry, little man-boy. BlackJack.  He's going to get Grandma, too! I have to stop him!  Grandma, where are you? Are you okay? Grandma? You in here? Grandma?  Oh, no, I'm too late! He burnt you to a crisp! Oh, that animal!"
Grandma: SpongeBob?,Grandma? Are you talking to me from beyond the beyond?
"Grandma: Well, if you mean from beyond the kitchen table, yes. You're just in time. I've baked a fresh batch of gingerbread men.",But where's BlackJack?
"Grandma: Oh, BlackJack just called and left a message for you. He couldn't make it because he's got some loose ends to tie up.",Loose ends. My parents! He's tied them up?!
"Grandma: And if you don't hurry, you'll miss out on all the fun.  And when it's all done, he'll need help cleaning up the mess.","Cleaning up the mess?  I got to get help! I'll go to Uncle Captain Blue's! He'll know what to do.  Uncle Captain Blue, I need your help!"
"Uncle Captain Blue: Well, if it isn't little SpongeBob. Plant a firm one on me, Bobby.",I need you to help me rescue my parents!
"Uncle Captain Blue: Sure, Little Bobby. I could use some help with the lawn, but you're gonna need this to do the job right. Narrator: 346 minutes later...","Uncle Captain Blue, I need to help my parents! They're in danger!"
Uncle Captain Blue:  What? You want to build a fence?  The boy came to work.,"Actually, I came to try to find my..."
"Uncle Captain Blue:  And when you're done, I've made a tomato and clam juice smoothie to refresh you.  Ah.  And how many candles you burning out there? Over.  Do you copy? Over?  Copy? Do you copy?","Uncle Captain Blue, Uncle Captain Blue! Please help me!"
"Uncle Captain Blue: Well, of course you can! Narrator: Much, much, much later...",I AM DESPERATELY SEARCHING FOR MY MOMMY AND DADDY!
Uncle Captain Blue: Landscaping? Isn't it a little dark out for landscaping?,"Listen, Uncle Captain Blue! We don't have much time. Cousin BlackJack has my parents held captive at his house!"
"Uncle Captain Blue: They let that dangerous miscreant out of prison? Sounds like your parents are in trouble, kid.",That's why we have to rescue them now!
"Uncle Captain Blue: Whoa, there, Little Bobby. No can do.","But, Uncle Captain Blue, I need the help of a crime fighter like you!"
"Uncle Captain Blue: No, no, I don't chase criminals these days. I'm retired, and if I were you, I'd consider turning around and going home. You're not cut out for this kind of work, boy. An innocent kid like you doesn't stand a chance against a criminal mind. Do you have any idea what people like that do to people like you?",You mean they won't give me a push on the swing set?
"Uncle Captain Blue: Well, let's just say, I hope you've practiced walking without legs, or arms, or a body. But since you insist, I'll drive you all the way over to BlackJack's right now.  Just try to relax until we get there.  There it is. We're here.  Uh, lock the door behind you, kid.","Nice wormy, nice wormy. Nice wormy."
Uncle Captain Blue: Do you have any idea what people like that do to people like you?,Uncle Captain Blue is right. I'm not cut out for this. I should just turn around and go home.  Mother!  Mom?
Margaret: Help me!,"They're trapped in the basement!  Mom, dad, quick! Let's get out of here!"
"Margaret: Oh, but if we leave now, we'll miss the party.",Party?
"Margaret: Oh, why, yes. We're celebrating your cousin BlackJack's release from prison. Harold: Now if your klutzy mother can stop dropping her punch glass like she dropped that picture frame... Margaret: I told you, Harold, that was the fumigators' fault.",The fumigators? So that wasn't a crime scene I saw at your house?
"Harold: The only crime that ever happened at our house was the infestation of those worthless krill, but they should be gone by now.","So, you two aren't being tortured by cousin BlackJack?"
"Harold: No, SpongeBob, your cousin BlackJack has paid his debt to society and renounced his criminal ways. Never again will he litter. BlackJack: That's right, little man! Margaret: Oh, well here comes the man of the hour. He's been talking all day about playing with his little cousin again. He mentioned something about jumping rope with like the old days. BlackJack: Did you come here to quiver like a jellyfish, or did you come to wrestle?",To quiver!
BlackJack: I always knew you were a little man. Prepare to live your past in the present.,"Come on, Little Bobby. Don't let him beat you. You've got to stand up for yourself this time! THAT'S IT! I am not gonna take this anymore! I am putting my foot down! You wanna tussle?! Well, let's tussle it up!  Cousin BlackJack?"
BlackJack: In the living flesh!,That tickles!
"BlackJack: Just like the old days, eh, cousin?","Yeah, BlackJack, you haven't changed a bit. See anything yet, Patrick?"
Patrick: I need my glasses.  Hmmm...  ...it's the mail truck! SpongeBob and Patrick: Our package! Squidward: I didn't realize it was Happy Hopping Moron Day. Norton: SpongeBob SquarePants?,That's me!
Squidward: That's a big box!,Thank you!
"Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob, when do we stop hopping?","Thirty more seconds, Patrick."
Squidward: They probably ordered a lifetime supply of bubble soap.  Huh? A brand-new television?,Easy... easy...
"SpongeBob and Patrick: Yeah! Squidward: Just when I thought they couldn't get any stupider.  Let me get this straight, you two ordered a giant screen television just so you could play in the box?","Pretty smart, huh?"
"Patrick:  I thought it wouldn't work. Squidward: Uh-huh, that's quite a plan there. Oh, but wait, there was something else I wanted to ask you two. Now what was it? Oh, yeah, yeah.  Don't you two have any brains?!","Squidward, we don't need a television. Not as long as we have our...  ...imagination!"
"Squidward: Wow, I never thought of it that way. That's really something. Can I have your TV?","With...  ...imagination, I can be anything I want! A pirate!  Arrrrr! A football player!  Hup!"
"Patrick: A starfish! Squidward: Patrick, you're already a starfish. Patrick: See, Squidward? It works! You try! Squidward:  Okay, let's see. I'm imaging myself watching TV...  ...and there it is! Can I have it, SpongeBob?","Sure, Squidward."
"Squidward: Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy!","Okay, Squidward, but if you change your mind, we'll be in this box!"
Patrick: Let's play Mountain Climbing Adventure!,Let's go for it!  Gloves!
Patrick: Check.,Hats!
Patrick: Check.,Underwear!
Patrick: Uh... check!,"Okay, Patrick, climb up there and secure this rope."
Patrick: You got it!,"Patrick! Patrick! Patrick, you're going too high!"
Squidward: I hope they put some air holes in that box.,"Take it easy, Patrick, you've got to acclimate!"
Patrick: I'll take it easy when I'm dead! I'm shaking hands with Neptune! Whoo! Excelsior! Squidward:  Now where's that remote? Patrick: I am the lizard king! Whoo!,Patrick? Patrick? Patrick! I think we should keep our voices down! We might start an avalanche!
Patrick: What?,"I said, I think we should keep our voices down in case of avalanches!"
Patrick: What should we keep down? Squidward: Morons.,Our voices!
Squidward: Will you two shut up?!  Sponge... Bob? Patrick: Hold me.,"Hang in there buddy, the chopper's on the way!"
Patrick: SpongeBob! My legs are frozen solid! You're going to have to cut them off with a saw!,"No, Patrick, I can't do that!"
Patrick: Why not?,Because I already cut off my own arms!
Patrick: Nooooo! Squidward:  What the? How were you two making that noise?,"What noise, Squidward?"
"Patrick: I could only hear the sound of our laughter. Squidward: Yes! But those sound effects: the avalanche, the, the, the... Patrick: Don't forget the second avalanche. Squidward: Forget it.  I don't know why I'm wasting my time out here when I could be watching my brand new television. Pilot Inside Box: Attention climbers, please hold on! The saws are on the way! SpongeBob and Patrick: Yay! Squidward: Grrrr... Aha!  How are you two doing that?","First we establish a base camp at 15,000 feet..."
Squidward: The noises! How are you two making those noises? Patrick: That's easy. All you need is a box.,And...  ...imagination.
"Squidward:  Are you trying to say that I have no imagination? I have more imagination...  ...in one tentacle than you two have in your whole bodies. Patrick: That's good. Now all you need is a box. Squidward:  I'll show them!  There's got to be one in here!  Ah! This hat box should do nicely.  Why haven't I worn this yet? Policeman Inside SpongeBob and Patrick's box: Attention! We have you surrounded! Come out with your hands up! Squidward: What do they want with me? What did I do?  Obviously I violated some new boxing law!  Look officers, everything's okay. I won't do it again! Criminal Inside Box: You'll never take me alive, coppers! Man Inside Box: No, Johnny! Don't do it! Patrick:  Whoopee! Another box! Squidward: I got to try to relax. Perhaps I can drown out their childish games with a little TV. Male TV narrator: It is here that the boxes reach their final stage of assembly. Professor: The equation is demonstrated here by this box. Man: I couldn't afford a present this year, so I got you this box. Woman: That's what I got you! Squidward: Isn't there anything on that isn't about boxes?! Announcer: And welcome back to Championship Boxing. Squidward:  Heh-heh, I guess this is okay. I mean, it's not really about boxes.  I give up. Astronaut Inside SpongeBob and Patrick's Box: 3... 2... 1... blast off! Squidward:  How are they doing that? That was the most realistic space launch I ever heard! There must be an explanation. Think, Squidward, think!",Shh!  Squidward's such a jerk.
"Squidward: Laugh at me, will they?  All right, where is it? Patrick:  Here I am!","Where's what, Squidward?"
"Squidward: Don't Where's what, Squidward? me! Where's the tape recorder?","We don't have a tape recorder, Squidward!"
"Squidward: Don't We don't have a tape recorder, Squidward! me!",But we don't!
"Patrick:  We have a tape recorder box. Squidward:  All right, make way you two, I'm coming in.","Welcome aboard, Squidward! You've just set sail on the S.S...  ...Imagination... where our only destination is fantastic adventure! Where do you want to go first?"
"Squidward: No, no. Don't mind me, I'm just here to observe.","Squidward, don't you see? Waiting and watching? That's not what the box is about! It's about...  ...imagination."
"Squidward: All right, fine!  Take me to Robot Pirate Island! I wanna arm-wrestle with cowboys on the moon! Just do it so I can get back and watch TV!","Okay, Squidward! Robot Pirate Island it is!"
Patrick:  Beep-beep-beep.,Arr.
Patrick: Beep-boop-bee-boop.,Ahoy matey!
Patrick: Beep-beep.,For that you'll walk the plank!
"Squidward:  Why won't this thing turn on?!  All right, fine. If you don't want to show me,  I don't care! I've got better things to do than pace the floor wondering how you two work this thing.  How do those two work that thing? There's got to be a secret button or a switch or something! I mean, listen to that!  Now, that sounds like Robot Pirate Island! Think, Squidward, think! I got it: when those two go to bed, I'll sneak in there and find that button! I'll wait all night if I have to! Patrick: I need sleep to refuel my imagination tanks!",I still can't believe those pirates beat all those robots.
"Patrick: Yeah, see you in the morning.","Good night, Patrick."
"Squidward:  Hello, what's this?  This plaque is to commemorate the brave pirates who gave their lives to keep this box safe from the Robot Menace. Lest we forget... Ohh!  I've got to find that button quick!  It's got to be around here somewhere. I don't see anything! It's just an empty box! Maybe it really was their imagination. Oh... get it together, Squidward! What are you saying? I mean, do I really believe that if I sit here and pretend to drive a race car that I'm suddenly going to start hearing noises?  What the...?  It actually works! I can't believe it! Ha-ha! Oh boy! This beats TV by a long shot!  Whooo-hoo-hoo! This is the most fun I've ever had!","Listen to that, Gary. Squidward finally made the box work after all. That's so great."
Squidward:  Vroom! Vroom! Only two more laps to the finish line!  I'm in the lead! Out of my way! I'm almost there!  Whoo-hoo-hoo! Victory is mine!,"Hey, our box is gone!"
"Patrick: Oh, well.",I know! Let's go see Squidward!
Patrick: I hope he's not too down in the dumps today.,Delivery!  Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa!  Delivery.
Security Guard: Will you ever learn how to use those doors?,Never!
Boss:  Has anybody seen my delivery?,Delivery coming!
Worker #1: Wow! Nathaniel: Hey!,"Oh, I've heard of this. Davy Jones' cubicle. Your delivery, ma'am.  Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa!  Whoa! Whew! Oh, no! A delicious Krusty Krab disaster!  Call the shore patrol! Get an ambulance! Does anyone know CSR? Chocolate shake resuscitation?"
Boss: It's alright. Just leave it.,"Here! You can drink it from here! See?  It's too late. I did all I could, but it wasn't enough. I'll just clean up the remains."
Boss: Enough! Just go. I'm busy.,"In ancient times, one would fall under sword by way of apology. We at the Krusty Krab keep that tradition.  And now that that's out of the way, I am going to give you the Krusty Krab Customer Service Pledge of Satisfaction.  I pledge to come back here tonight and clean this carpet and make it shine!  As a matter of fact, I'll clean all your offices and all your cubicles. Courtesy of the Krusty Krab."
"Boss: No need. We have a cleaning robot that does it all at night. Security Guard:  No, Mom. I'm not double-checking that the doors are locked. Stop nagging me.  I love you too.","Thanks for lending me your cleaning cart, Patrick."
Patrick:  Cleaning cart? I thought this was a food cart. Both: Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! Patrick: Best door ever!,Hold on!
Trash robot: Trash.,Oh!
Patrick: Don't hit anything!,Look out! Look out!
"Patrick: Oh-ho, watch it!",Look out! Look out!
Patrick:  Paper shredder! Patrick:  Those two shreds are alike.,Let's start here and make our way to the milkshake stain.
"Patrick:  ♪Working guy, working guy, working guy, working guy.♪ Trash robot: Trash!  Trash.  Trash.  Trash! Patrick: Can I just say, Oops?","Uh, not a problem. Uh, we'll just put 'em all back up the way they were. There. Good as new."
"Patrick: Uh, how do we get out of here?","Uh, maybe this way?  Oh, uh, or this way. Oh! Missed one."
Trash robot:  Trash!,"Hey, that's mine! I'm cleaning these offices!  Patrick, catch!"
Trash robot: Trash! Patrick: No!,Run!
Trash robot: Boo-boo.,Oh no! I'm bleeding!  It's okay. It's decaf.
"Trash robot: Trash, trash, trash. Patrick: SpongeBob, why is this happening? Trash robot:  Trash, trash, trash, trash, trash.  Trash.  Trash!","Um, eh. Look you, garbage can thing. I don't know what we did to you, but I made a Krusty Krab pledge to your boss to clean these offices."
Patrick: Ow! My rump is roasting!,"Hey, Patrick may be trashy,  but he's not trash! Ah! Ah! Whoa! Stop that! Whoa! Oh!"
"Patrick: Hmm, Patrick soup.","Ah! Ah! Whoa! Stop that! Whoa! Oh! Sorry to do this, but you'll have to stay here until we finish cleaning.  Here. This should tie you over 'till we're done. Whew, finally! Patrick, meet the main stain that I disdain."
"Patrick: Ha, ha, ha!","Oh, what do you know? This cleaner contains saliva enzymes that break down chocolate particles. Hmm. You know if we wanted to, we could just—"
Patrick: Way ahead of ya!,Make room!
Trash robot: Eliminate intruders!,"Ew. Patrick, stop sweating on me."
Patrick: I ran out of sweat an hour ago. Both: Ahh! Coffee killer!,You again?
"Patrick: Oh, good! Soda! I was getting thirsty again.",This is not refreshing!
"Patrick: Man, you do not take a bad picture!",Whoa!
"Patrick: Hang in there, buddy! Hang in there! Patrick:  Hey!","Hey, where'd you get the tank, Patrick?"
Patrick: It's what this company makes. Tanks.,How did I not notice that?  We'll use these as ammunition!
Trash robot: Retreat! Retreat! Patrick:  Hello!,"Hey, trash bot!"
"Trash robot: Yummy, trash.",SpongeBob SquarePants always keeps his word. That carpet is clean.
Patrick: And I helped!,"You sure did, buddy! Come on, pal. Let's go get us a snack."
"Patrick: Oh, I like that sound, SpongeBob! Security Guard: I quit.",Ah! Guests! Could I offer you some lemonade?
"Frankie Billy: Man! That has to be the worst amusement park I have ever been to! I mean, we're lucky to escape with our lives! Harold: I agree! The world will be a much better place when Glove World is gone for good!","Excuse me, did you just mention Glove World?"
Frankie Billy: Yeah. Glove World. They're gonna close it. Tomorrow! Forever!,Close Glove World?! Has the world gone mad?!
"Frankie Billy: Well, that depends on your definition.","I'm sorry, I gotta go."
Frankie Billy: Wh-wh-wh what about our lemonade?,Patrick!
"Patrick: I can't come out now, SpongeBob. I'm taking a shower.","But, Patrick, it's Glove World! They're gonna..."
Patrick: Glove World?,"Patrick, wait! There it is, Patrick. Glove World."
"Patrick: Look at that guy, he must be the owner.","Uh-huh, come on. Excuse us, sir, we heard a horrible rumor that you're gonna close Glove World forever."
"Patrick: Close Glove World?! Has the world gone mad?! Glove World Owner: Here, son, take this. You don't wanna catch cold. Patrick: Uh, it feels good.","Ooh, that looks glovely on you, Patrick."
Patrick: Fits like a glove.,Glove size fits all.
Patrick: A penny saved is a penny gloved!,"You can leave a glove to gloves, but you can't make it glove."
"Patrick: She gloves me, she gloves me not.",All's fair in glove and war.
"Patrick: Glove! Glove! Glove! Glove! Glove! Glove! Glove! Glove! Glove! Glove! Glove! Glove! Glove! Glove! Glove! Glove! Glove! Glove. Glove World Owner: Well, enjoy the hat. Now if you folks will excuse me, I have a rickety old theme park to close down.","Then the rumors are true, you are gonna close Glove World!"
"Glove World Owner: Yep. SpongeBob and Patrick: Nooooo! Glove World Owner: I understand your concern, but really... SpongeBob and Patrick: Nooooo!","Oh, please, Mr. Soon To Be Ex-owner of Glove World. Could you see in your heart, to let us ride all our favorite rides? Just one last time."
"Patrick: For all time's ride sake. Glove World Owner: Well, seeing as it's our last day of operation anyway, and as long as the two of you pay the full admission price, sure, go right ahead! SpongeBob and Patrick: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.","Well, there she is, Patrick. It's time to say goodbye to the Tilt-A-Hurl."
"Patrick: Goodbye, Tilt-A-Hurl. SpongeBob & Patrick: Ow!  Ow!  Ow!  Ow!  Ow! Patrick: We'll miss you.","Goodbye, Glove Drop."
Patrick: So many fun memories on this ride.,"I know, Patrick, but we have to be brave.  Where to next, Patrick?"
"Patrick: I think you know where, pal.",The Glove Boat. My most favorite ride in the entire glove kingdom. And it's the last time I'm ever gonna ride it.
"Patrick: Come on, buddy. Let's take our seats. SpongeBob and Patrick:  Wee.","I just don't get it, I mean, why? Why must Glove World close?"
Patrick: Beats me. Let's go ride the Ferris Wheel.,"Ew, did you hear that?"
Patrick: Excuse me.,"No, not that it was... oh no, Patrick, look!"
Patrick: Oh no! What am I looking at?,The Ferris Wheel. It ripped free of it moorings!
Patrick: Then you mean...,Uh-huh.
"Patrick: It somehow ripped free of it moorings!  SpongeBob, what are you doing? We must remain seated at all times!",We have to jump before this thing crashes! Come on!
Patrick: Bu-bu-bu-bu? But you know I'm allergic to jumping! You know that!,"Patrick, it's now or never! You can do this!"
"Patrick: I uh, oh, if you say so.","Nice job, Patrick."
Patrick: Thanks!,"Look!  Whoa, right in the middle of Glove Lake."
Patrick: That's really gonna spoil the view for the residents of Glove Castle.,"Patrick, I think the time has come for us to accept reality."
"Patrick: We've gone this far, why start now?",All I'm saying is maybe there's a reason Glove World is closing. I mean just look around you. Open your eyes.
"Patrick: Okay. Harold (red fish): Move it, slowpoke! Fred: Hey, who you calling slowpoke, you sardine!","See what I mean, Patrick? Glove World is on its last legs."
"Patrick: Yeah, or on its last finger.",I just wish there was something we can do.
Patrick: I know what we can do. Let's take a trip to Glove World to cheer ourselves up.,Wait a second.  That's it!
Patrick: It is?,"Of course, we just have to fix Glove World."
Patrick: We do?,"Then everybody will love it again, and then will have no choice but to keep Glove World open. Are you with me?"
"Patrick: I think so. Yeah, I'm here.","Okay, Patrick, this is it. Do you remember what to say?"
"Patrick: SpongeBob, I'm not a stupid. Come one, come all, to the new, the improved...",Hall of mirrors.
"Patrick: Hall of Mirrors! Nat: Wow, new and improved?  Wow, that's fantastic!",It's working.
"Ugly Fish: Oh, I'll try it.  Hey! What kind of mirror is this!?",Ow!
"Ugly Fish: I'm glad they're closing this place down! Bubble Poppin' Boy: Hey there, kid.  Ow! You little brat! I have had it! Three and a half weeks of working here and this is how I'm treated!? You're gonna have to pay for my shin-replacement surgery! Glove World Owner: I'm sorry you feel that way, but if we were to accommodate every employee- Bubble Poppin' Boy: Accommodate this, boss man! Glove World Owner: Great! Now where am I gonna find another mascot? Patrick: Mr. Owner, Mr. Owner! Can I wear the Glovey Glove costume? Please, please? I've always wanted to try it on. And also, this hat you lent me earlier is turning to get little worn out. See? Glove World Owner: Well, sure, why not? I mean, what could go wrong? Patrick: Thanks! Ice cream employee: Here you go, little boy. Monroe: Thanks! Patrick: Oh, oh! Glove ice cream!  Thanks! Sandals: The park mascot, cutting in line? Monroe: And he stole my ice cream! Patrick: I thought he gave it to me.","Boy, the swing ride is really slowing down. That's something I can fix.  Excuse me.  Much better.  Ooh.  There."
"Gray Fish: Huh? Hey, I landed safely! All: Hey, we landed safely! Fish: He's insane! Run for your lives! Patrick: Come back here!","Patrick, stop! What are you doing?"
Patrick: I'm just trying to test their strength with this giant hammer.,"Listen, Patrick, do you hear that?"
"Patrick: Yeah, it's the sound of total silence.  Plus tumbleweeds.","Everybody's gone home, Patrick. We couldn't fix Glove World, and now it's over. And they're gonna close it, and there's nothing we can do."
"Patrick: Well, there is one thing we can do. Glove World Owner: What are you doing?","We're doing what any concerned, responsible person does when they're left no other choice."
"Patrick: Yeah, brother! We're chaining ourselves to a gate. Glove World! Owner: Well, I hope you don't plan on staying chained for long. Or you'll miss the big grand opening tonight. SpongeBob and Patrick: The grand what? Glove World! Owner: The grand opening. The only reason we're closing down Glove World, it's because Glove Universe is opening tonight. See for yourself. SpongeBob and Patrick: Glove Universe?! Glove World Owner: Isn't she something?  Well, you two have a good night.","Glove Universe grand opening! Are you ready, Patrick?!"
Patrick:  You bet!,"Okay, let's get out of the chains. Give me the key."
Patrick:  What key?,The key that I gave you. The key that unlocks these chains.
"Patrick:  Oh, oh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, you told me to keep that in a safe place, remember?",So where you keeping it?
"Patrick:  At the bottom of Glove Lake. Where no one will ever find it!  SpongeBob? Mr. Krabs:  Oh, yeah.  There we go. Plankton: Hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee!  Fluoride to Desktop, I'm in a position to raise no suspicion, over. Karen:  Cut the poetry, Wordsworth. Did you get Krabs' hair sample yet? Plankton: Keep your pants on, woman! I'm gonna steal his hairs right out of his razor. Mr. Krabs: I'll just grab the razor here... Plankton: Wait! No!  Auugh! Plankton:  Ehhh! Mr. Krabs: Now for the rest of it. Karen: Well, if it isn't my thieving husband. So did you bring me the—  Hair?  I only needed one. Plankton: Hee-hee-hee! You married a genius, Karen. Using the DNA of Krabs' hair and my own DNA from my antennae—  Ouch!  I will create a combo-clone of me and Krabs to finally steal the secret formula! Plankton: Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Behold PlanKrab! PlanKrab: Heh-heh-heh. PlanKrab: Arr-arr-arr-arr-arr! Karen: How is this a good thing? Plankton: Wake up, Karen! The Plankton side will know everything the Krabs side knows! It'll be easier than taking candy from a baby. Karen: Mm, and we know how successful that was. Plankton: This is different! Isn't it, PlanKrab, my pretty? Now, here's my plan. PlanKrab: Don't waste your breath, Plankteron. I already mapped out the perfect plot to swipe that formuler-ererer! Plankton: Great! See you soon, P.K.!  I love that guy. Well, half of him anyway.  Still got a hair in there. Plankton: Where is PlanKrab with the secret formula? It's been over three minutes already! Plankton: All right, Two-Face, what's the big idea? What have you been doing all this time?! PlanKrab: Oh, nothing much-erer. Just stealin' the formuler-erer… Plankton: Uh-whaaa? PlanKrab: Taking over this restaurant-erer… SpongeBob and Squidward:  Hooray for PlanKrab! He's the best boss ever! PlanKrab: And kicking Krabs out on his booty-erererer! Plankton: B-b-but how?! PlanKrab: All it took, me hearty, was a hearty handshake. The world's persuasive handshake, that is!  It's me latest creation. Put her there-erer, matey. Plankton: An evil handshake. That's hands down the dumbest thing I ever—  Huh?  Oh. Ooh. Heh-heh, yeah. Oh, ooh, ahh, ahh. Yeah, yeah. Ahh! Yeah. Ohh-ho-ho!  Oh, your handshake is exquisite! I'd believe anything you say. PlanKrab:  Then believe this, swabby.  I'll also be commandeer-ering the Chum Bucket from now on. Plankton: Ahh—ahh. Sounds great to me, P.K. PlanKrab: And I'm afraid your services are no longer required-ererered! Plankton: Gosh, I still can't get over this handshake.  I'm over it now. Mr. Krabs:  Plankton!  Some creepy one-eyed crab took me restaurant! Plankton: Wait a minute. I think he took mine too! Mr. Krabs: I-I-I don't know what happened. But that was some handshake of his, huh? I mean...hoo—hoo! Plankton: Snap out of the handshake! It's a trick, Krabs!  A dirty, beautiful trick! Nat Peterson:  Say, this Krabby Patty tastes even better than usual. What's in it, SpongeBob?","Well, it's the same old patty, except now each one has a pinch of chum added."
"Plankton: A pinch of ch-ch-ch-chum? PlanKrab:  Good work, me boy-o.",Wow!
"Mr. Krabs: Me boy-o? Plankton:  There's only one way to get our restaurants back, Eugene. Mr. Krabs:  You don't mean... Mr. Krabs and Plankton: We gotta work together...! Plankton:  Hair. PlanKrab:  Hey, what the... Mr. Krabs: He may have taken our restaurants, but we'll take his customers! PlanKrab:  This way! Drive-thru! Literally. Plankton: All right, all right! I can't go any lower, Eugene! Please make it stop! Mr. Krabs:  It looks like there's only one way out of this one, Sheldon. Plankton: Oh, no! You don't mean... Mr. Krabs: Yeah. I'm afraid so. PlanKrab: That'll be all for now, Spongematey.","Oh, could I just have one more handshake, Captain?"
PlanKrab:  Sure as yer born.,Ooh….
"PlanKrab: So you two scallywags want to work for me, eh? Mr. Krabs and Plankton: I wanna be the manager! PlanKrab: Well, you're both in luck. It just so happens I'm looking for two new manager-erers… Mr. Krabs: Ahh! Plankton: Yeah! PlanKrab: To manage me toilets! Mr. Krabs:  Well, here's another fine mess you've gotten us into. Plankton:  Hair. Plankton: The humiliation in here stinks! Mr. Krabs: This is all your fault, Plankton. I'm gonna keel haul yer face at lunchtime! Plankton: Why wait? Let's take a coffee break!  Pow! Plankton:  Swirly! Administrator Flotsam: Hey, I'm trying to read!  Ahh! Hey! Administrator Flotsam:  Two guys...fighting...toilet paper everywhere! PlanKrab:  Oh, yeah?  Who's defiling me rester-ereroom?! Plankton: He did it! Mr. Krabs: He did it! Mr. Krabs and Plankton: No, he did it! No, he did it! No, he did it! Green PlanKrab: Get off of him, Plankton! Red PlanKrab: It was obviously Krabs' fault! Green PlanKrab: Why are you siding with Plankton?! Red PlanKrab: Why are you siding with Krabs?! Plankton: They're arguing! Mr. Krabs: And splitting up! Green PlanKrab: Stop hitting myself! Red PlanKrab: Ow!  Stop hitting myself! I'm sick of you! Green PlanKrab: What in Neptune's name is wrong with meself?! Mr. Krabs: Jeez, is that what we sound like? Plankton: I hope not, 'cause that's pathetic. Green PlanKrab and Red PlanKrab:  I can't stop hitting myself, because I'm torn! Mr. Krabs: All right, you clones, I want a clean fight. No rough stuff. Go back to your corners when the bell rings and come out fighting. Plankton: But first, you gotta shake hands. Green PlanKrab: Well, fine. Red PlanKrab: Wow, this is a great handshake. Plankton: Splitting? So soon? Mr. Krabs: Oh, you. Plankton:  Hair. Mr. Krabs: Here, me bucko. Let me get that for ya. Hairball:  Freedom! Narrator:  Closing time at the Krusty Krab. Mr. Krabs:  51, 52, 53... Squidward:  29, 30, 31...","One, two, three. One, two, three."
"Squidward: Mr. Krabs, can we please go now? Mr. Krabs: Perhaps, one of our more loyal workers can enlighten you on company policy.","The Krusty Krab Employee Manual; 2nd Revised Edition; Page 35; Section 19; Clause 3a, states: All staff must remain on the premises until the day's receipts are fully accounted for."
Squidward: But that's not fair!,Clause 3b: The proprietor reserves the right to be unfair.
"Squidward: Teacher's pet. Mr. Krabs: Let's see...  five, ten, 25, blue, apple sauce. Everything looks to be in order. Except...  Where is it?  Where is it? Squidward: What? Mr. Krabs: My dime! Me special dime, the first dime I ever made! I always keep it in the back of the register for luck! Squidward: Well, I've never seen it! Mr. Krabs: Hmm, are you prepared to say that with your hand on a stack of Interpretive Dance Quarterlys!? Squidward: Of course I'm...  What are you saying? Mr. Krabs: Me? I ain't saying nothing that would matter to anyone who would be able to take a lie detector test! Squidward: You're saying something! Mr. Krabs: Heavens to Betsy, no. It's just that me lucky dime's gone missin', and you've been working the register all day! Squidward: Are you accusing me of something? Mr. Krabs: Well, the way I see it, there are three possibilities: One, you stole it. Two, you stole it? Or three — YOU STOLE IT!!! Squidward:  I didn't take your precious dime! Mr. Krabs: Show me your tentacles! Squidward: What?! Mr. Krabs: I wanna see empty suction cups! Squidward:  Here! Here! Here! See 'em?! Mr. Krabs: You... you can't do that to me! I'm your boss! Squidward: Not anymore, Mr. Krabs! I QUIT!",No.  Whew.
Squidward: I'm outta here!,"Squidward, you're making a big mistake!"
Squidward: Mistake? Ha! The only mistake I ever made was wasting my life at the Krusty Krab!,But a visit to the Krusty Krab makes everyone happy! And what could be better than serving up smiles?
"Squidward: Being dead, or anything else.",I never knew you felt so strongly about it.
Squidward: Where have you been?,"Well, I guess I can't stop you. But Squidward, it's a cold, cold world out there. No one's going to serve you happiness on a silver platter."
Norma Rechid: Free sample?,Cookies!
Squidward: Can I have one-?,"Anyways, I just want you to know. If you ever get in trouble, come find me. I'll take care of you. 'Cause you and me...  ...we're like brothers. Only closer."
"Squidward: SpongeBob, I don't need your help. I am ready to unlock my potential. I could be anything I set my mind to.  I could be a football player, or a king, or a spaceman.",Or a football playing king in space... with a mustache.
"Squidward:  Yeah... uh-huh. Ya know, that reminds me, there's been something I've been wanting to say to you since the day we met... goodbye. Next time you see me, this town will be eating out of the palm of my hands!  Spare change? Spare change, ma'am?","Squidward? Squidward, is that you?"
"Squidward: Uh, I, uh...","It's me, SpongeBob.  We used to work together."
Squidward: SpongeBob?,"There ya go. So, where you living these days?"
"Fish: Squidward Tentacles? Squidward: Yes? Fish: Sign here, please. Squidward: Uh... nowhere.","Great. And what have you been doing with yourself? No, wait, let me guess! Hmmm...I see you've been working on that mustache, the tattered clothes, the awful smell... you're a football player?"
Squidward: No.,A spaceman?
Squidward: No!,A football playing king in space-
"Squidward: Don't you get it?!  I'M A LOSE-E-ER! I've lost my job, my home, EVERYTHING!",Even your paintings!?
"Squidward: Nobody would take them, so I had to eat them!","There, there. You can come live with me.  Here you go, Squidward. You can sleep in my bed."
"Squidward: Okay, but just until I get a job. One day... two days tops.","Nonsense. You stay as long as you need to.  Good night, my little angel.  Breakfast is ready! You're gonna need to build up your strength again so I laid out a big buffet for you."
"Squidward: And in bed, too? Aw, thanks, SpongeBob. SpongeBob, I...","Ahh! Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh. Here comes the plane."
Squidward: It's really nice of you to help me in my time of need.  I'll try not to be a burden.,"It's no trouble. Is there anything else I can do for you, winner?"
"Squidward: No, no, no. You've already... well...","Oh, wow. Nurturing a broken spirit sure is a lot of work.  I'm bushed. Still, it feels nice to do good.  Good night, Gary."
"Squidward: SpongeBob, can I get a glass of water?  Thank you.",Good night.
"Squidward: SpongeBob, could I get some more blankets?",Here you go.
"Squidward: Thank you.  SpongeBob, you forgot to turn out the light!",Good night.
Gary: Meow.,Gary! Squidward is not a freeloader and he would never take advantage of me.
Narrator: Three weeks later...,He's just having a hard time getting his confidence back.
Narrator: Many months later...,I'm sure he's close to a breakthrough.
"New Narrator: So much later that the old narrator got tired of waiting and they had to hire a new one. Gary: Meow, meow, meow.",I KNOW HE STILL ISN'T LOOKING FOR WORK! DON'T RUB IT IN!!
"Squidward: SpongeBob, where's my lemonade?","Coming, Squidward..."
Squidward:  SPONGEBOB?! SPONGEBOB?!  And why aren't you in uniform?  It's about time you got here!,"Here you go, Your Majesty."
Squidward: I can't drink that.,Why not?
Squidward: Are you blind? Just look at it.,What about it?
Squidward: That lemon has three seeds in it. That's an odd number! I can't eat anything odd numbered.,"Fine, I'll just take it out."
Squidward: No! No! IT'S ALREADY CONTAMINATED BY THE BAD LEMON! It won't work.,Hmmm... that's two things in this house that won't work.
Squidward: Then go fix them.,Two things that won't work!
Squidward: I've changed my mind. I want soup instead.,Okay. Don't move.  Here you go. It's alphabet soup. I made it special.
Squidward: Condensed soup from a can? Disgusting. Now you've ruined my appetite. Go fetch me something to read!,"Oh, okay. How about this?"
Squidward:  GET THAT AWAY FROM ME. You know I'm allergic to newsprint!,"Haha, ya know, when you swatted that newspaper out of my hands, it reminded me of something a friend of mine did... at his JOB!"
"Squidward: 4:00. Time for my stories. Hurry up, they won't hold the show while you laze around. Puppet #1:  Hey, where ya goin'? Puppet #2: To my job! Puppet #1: You have a job? Puppet #2: Why wouldn't I!? I'm not some lazy, inconsiderate jerk who lays in bed all day! Puppet #1: Say, where can I get one of these... jobs? Puppet #2: Oh, they're everywhere!  Especially if you're green and have six tentacles! Puppet #1: Thanks. I'm gonna go look for one so I can stop...",...mooching off my friends and they can get back to their lives!
"Squidward: This isn't my show.  SpongeBob, the remote control is broken! Get over here and fix it!","I've got a better idea!  Why don't I call someone whose JOB it is to fix it!? You know why?! Because when I need a JOB  done, I get someone with a JOB  TO DO  THAT JOB!!"
Squidward:  ...What are you saying? Mr. Krabs:  Donate to the children's fund? Why?! What have children ever done for me?,"You want your dime back?!  TAKE IT!!! Now Squidward can come back, right?"
Mr. Krabs: Wrong.  That ain't my first dime.,Then have some more dimes!  I've got plenty of 'em!
Mr. Krabs: You can't put a price on me first dime. And I can't forgive that thieving bilge rat Squidward for stealing it!,"LISTEN, YOU CRUSTACEOUS CHEAPSKATE! SQUIDWARD'S BEEN LIVING AT MY HOUSE, DRIVING ME CRAZY!  AND YOU'RE NOT GONNA HIRE HIM BACK ALL BECAUSE OF A STUPID DIME?!  What's that?"
"Mr. Krabs:  Me first dime!  Oh, Dimey, I'll never lose you again!",This is a dime?
"Mr. Krabs: I've been in business a long time, boy.","So, if Squidward never stole the dime, he can come back to work, right?"
"Mr. Krabs: Aye, lad, just let the dime and me have our privacy. Mr. Krabs:  Well, Mr. Squidward, it's good to have ya back. Squidward: Well, it's kind of good to be back, sir. Mr. Krabs: It's all water under the bridge now. Squidward: I agree, sir. Mr. Krabs: After all, I'm sure ya didn't mean to misplace me dime. Squidward: What the... what are you saying? Mr. Krabs: Well, it's obvious that ya put the dime in me pants. Dimes just don't fly into people's pants. Squidward: Are you accusing me of something? Mr. Krabs: Well, the way I see it, there are three possibilities: One, you put the dime in me pants.  Two, you put the dime in me pants? OR THREE — YOU PUT THE DIME IN ME PANTS!!!!!","Oh, I've got ya now, Gary."
Gary: Meow?,"Tag, you're it!  Gary will never find me here!  Uh-oh.  Tag! Now I'm it!"
"Patrick: Hi SpongeBob, what are you doing?",Gary and I are playing tag. You wanna join us?
"Patrick: Oh boy, would I!","Okay,  Tag, you're it!"
"Patrick: I'm it! I'm it, I'm it, I'm it, I'm it!  Tag, you're it! I win, I win!  What's with Gary? He sounds like a motor boat!",That's just a snail's way of saying he likes you!
Patrick:  It tickles!,"Well, I guess it's time for me and the Gare-Bear to get going. Come on, Gary.  Boy, I can't wait to hit the hay.  What about you, Gary?  Gary? Gary?"
"Patrick:  Brush brush brush, brush brush brush…","Hey Patrick, have you seen Gary?"
"Patrick:  Brush brush brush,  Brushin' everywhere…  Nope.  Oh, hey, here he is!","Come on Gary, we gotta let Patrick go to sleep."
"Patrick: Well, I don't mind SpongeBob. In fact, why don't you Gary stay over at my house tonight?","Hey, that's a great idea!"
"Patrick: A sleep-over! Oh boy, oh boy! This is gonna be great, Gary. We can stay up till dawn and watch scary movies and eat popcorn and play board games…","Gee, this is great. My two best friends in the whole sea having a sleepover."
"Patrick: And then we'll make a house of cards, and then we'll read some comic books…","OK, you two have a good time. I'll see you tomorrow."
Patrick: Blah blah blah blah blah…,I'm awake!
"Patrick:  Hey, SpongeBob!","Hey, guys, how was the sleepover?"
"Patrick: Great, SpongeBob. Watch this! Wherever I go, Gary follows!  See?","Come on, Gary! Try and catch meeee!  Isn't this great, Gary? Me running around and you chasing me?  You're not chasing me…"
"Patrick: Come on, Gary, let's play a different game.","Who-ho-ho-ho! Look out! I'm right in front of…  …you… What's wrong with me?  Do I offend?  Hey, Gary! Gary, look! It's your favorite ball!  Hey, Gary, look! Snail-nip!  Huh? Huh-huh?  Help, Gary, help! Help me! Oh, merciful Neptune! I closed the window on my head!  All right, that's it!  Gary, you stop this foolishness, right now.  Gary the Snail, answer me when I'm talking to you! Okay, that's it, mister! You are coming home with me this instant!  Say goodbye to Patrick, Gary."
"Patrick: Hold it right there, DadMom AngryPants!",What's that supposed to mean?
"Patrick: I don't know, but I do know Gary knows who he wants to go with. Now, I suggest that you put him down and let him choose.","Fine, but I would like to remind him who it was who fed him and housed him and sat on his bedside when he was sick and massaged his eyestalks when his eyes were sore! Okay, Gary, go ahead, show him. Okay, Gary, come to me! Come on, come on, Gary! Come on, come here, Gary!  Uh, wrong way, Gary.  G-Gary, turn around! Gary, no, Gary, no, no, no! Don't do it, Gary!"
"Patrick: Well, well, well… I guess that answers that question.  So long, SpongeBob. Me and Gary got stuff to do.","Okay, fine, if that's how you want to thank me…  ...for all that I've done?!  I guess you're not coming back, Gary.  I don't need Gary! I'll just find another pet! Yeah, it'll be better than Gary! I'm going to get a pet that won't go off with my best friend!  Hi, guys! Say hello to my new pal Rex!  Not only is he loyal, but he knows tricks, too! Watch and learn. Sit, Rex, sit!  Roll over, Rex, roll over!  Now stay, Rex, stay! Good boy, Rex! Who's a good boy? Who's a good boy? Who's a good boy?  I'm sure glad we went our separate ways, Gary. A worm really is the pet for me.  So loyal, so trusting, always by my side!  Who needs worms anyway?  Welcome home, newest bestest friend. Come on out, don't be shy.  You remind me of someone I once knew. A certain someone whose name will not be spoken in this household. Come on, let me show you around, Lary."
Lary:  Meow.,"And now, Lary, I present to you… dinner time! Ta-da.  Bon appetite, Lary.  Okay, maybe later.  This is where you sleep, Lary.  Uh, that's where I…  I guess you can sleep there…  I'll sleep down here.  Well, good night, Lary.  Hey, Lary, want to hear a joke? Aw, Gary used to love this one!  What do you call a snail on a ship? A snailor!  Don't you get it, Lary? A snailor.  Gosh, Lary is sure different than Gary. And Gary and Lary are real different than Jerry.  Oh, Gary, why did you have to go?!  Why, Gary?! Why…?! Why, why, why, why, why, why?!  Gary?"
"Patrick: Hi, SpongeBob.","Oh, hello, Patrick."
Gary: Meow.,"Hello, Gary."
Patrick: Would it be all right if me and Gary did some laundry around here?,Laundry? But… we used to do laundry…
"Patrick: And uh, SpongeBob, could we borrow some soap?",Soap? But… we used to use soap.  Do you want 'Fresh Scent' or 'Heavy Du'…
Patrick: Here it comes…,"Du… du… duuuuu…  ttyyyyy!  Gary! Please come back, Gary! Please come home! I'm a wreck without you!  I know. If you come back, there'll be a new no-rules rule. You can do whatever you want, when you want.  If you feel like rippin' the sofa, then you rip it up!  And the litter box? Forget about it!  The world is your litter box!  And you don't even have to wait around for me to feed you anymore! 24-hour fridge access!  And you don't even have to use a bowl!  And I know how much you like my prized drift wood carving of Squidward.  Well, think of it as your own personal scratching post! What do you think, Gary? Won't it be fun, Gary?"
Patrick: How pathetic…,Gary…?
"Patrick: I'm sorry, SpongeBob. But Gary's with me now. You had your chance and you failed. You have to stop living in the past. Face it, SpongeBob, you're only hurting yourself.  It's what Gary wants, and what Gary wants is me! Right, Gary?  He only liked me for my shorts!","No, Patrick. He wanted the cookie in your pocket!"
Gary: Meow.,"G-G-Gary?  Whee!  Oh, Gary, I knew you'd never leave me! Aww…  Let's go for a walk, pal!"
Patrick: Gary? I thought what we had was special...! Squidward:  I love waking up to my own circadian rhythm without the aid of an alarm clock.,"Morning, Squidward. I waited for you to stop sleeping like you asked. So, you got any plans for the day, Squidward?  Okay, Squidward, I'll catch ya later!  Hi, Squidward, wanna play?"
"Squidward: No, and leave me alone!","Okay, Squidward, see ya later."
"Squidward: Ah, the blank canvas. Infinite possibilities. All of the colors of the known and unknown universe hiding on my palate. The artist approaches, ready to create.","Hey, Squidward, wanna play?  Okay, Squidward, see ya later."
Squidward:  Perhaps I can find solitude in the printed word.,"Hey, Squidward, wanna play?  Okay, Squidward, see ya later.  Hi, Squidward, wanna play hide-and-seek?"
"Squidward: Okay, SpongeBob, you hide first.  Oh, no, where'd he go? I guess he wins.  Defeat has never tasted so sweet.  Yello?",How 'bout a game of hangman?
"Squidward: How 'bout a game of hang up?  Well, I guess this brings an end to my luxuriating.","How about Duck, Duck, Hermit Krab? Hopscotch? Squidward Says? Steal the Bacon? Sleeping Sea Lions? Sharks & Minnows? Sink the Submarine? Kings & Queens? Mahjong?  Whoa, I've never played this game before. What's it called?"
"Squidward: It's called, I will never play with you...  ...ever!",Something tells me Squidward doesn't wanna play today. That's it. If I can't play with the real Squidward...  I'll just make one of my own!
"Squidward: I think that moron finally gets it! I don't want to see or hear him for the...  SpongeBob! Will you make that racket stop?! SpongeBob, you open this door right this... Mini Squid: Hello, Squidward.  Squidward! It's me, Mini Squidward! Squidward: What are you doing, SpongeBob? Mini Squid: Hello, Squidward. Squidward: What manner of annoying scheme is this?","Just say hello to him, Squidward. You know how sensitive he is."
"Squidward: Hi. Now, SpongeBob, what the...?","Uhh, Squidward, he prefers to be addressed by his full name."
"Squidward:  Hello, Squidward. Mini Squid: Wondrous weather we're having, eh, Squidward, old pal? Squidward: SpongeBob, what is the meaning of this? Mini Squid: SpongeBob made a replacement you: me. So when you you don't want to play, SpongeBob will play with me-you. Squidward: So, you'll be filling in for me when SpongeBob wants to play one of his stupid games? Mini Squid: Yeah. Squidward: Oh, Thank you, thank you, thank you!  Woo-hoo-hoo! Mini Squid:  Three words.  Movie title.  12 Angry Jellyfish.","How does he do it? Right again, Squiddy. You little charades master, you."
"Patrick:  Squidward, you look a little different. Wow. Have you been working out?","Actually, Patrick, this is..."
"Patrick: D'oh, hold it, SpongeBob. Ooh, I know. You shaved your beard. Squidward: Alright now, who has the Krabby Patty and who has the Krabby Patty?  See... 'cause... they're both... krabby.","Good one, Mini Squid! You are always such a ray of sunshine. Are you ready for another fabulous day of work at the Krusty Krab?"
"Mini Squid: Of course, I am. I love to work! Sandals: Who is that little fellow with SpongeBob? Suzy Fish: I don't know, but isn't he handsome? Sandals: Yeah, he is handsome.  Ahem. Squidward: Oh, sorry, sir. Can I take your order? Sandals: No. I don't like your attitude, bub. Is this what the Krusty Krab calls friendly service? Mini Squid: Sorry, sir. Can I take your order? Sandals: Now that's more like it. Finally, a server with a good attitude. Mini Squid: Well, thank you very much. Sandals: I'll take eight dozen of your finest patties, please. But don't let old chowder pants over there touch them. He might taint the patties. Squidward: Fine then. Do my work for me. Squidward: I'm starting to like this Mini Squid doing my work, keeping SpongeBob off my back. I could get used to this.","Order up, Mini Squid!"
"Mini Squid: Okay, SpongeBob. Always happy to help.","Here you go, pal!  Go get em', tiger!"
"Mini Squid: Okay, now, who had the Krabby Patty, and who had the Krabby Patty? Squidward:  What the...? That's my joke! Sandals: Wow, honey, this new Mini Squidward is such a card! Suzy Fish: And a great waiter, dear. Sandals: Yeah. You're right. So much better than that old, lousy, larger-scale Squidward. Suzy Fish: Yeah! Bring that little fella over here and let me give him a $300 dollar tip! Squidward: What? All right, all right!  That's enough! My break is finished. Squidward: Oh boy! Back to work! Mr. Krabs: Hold on a second, there. Squidward: Oh, Mr. Krabs. Mr. Krabs: Uh... Squidward, me cephalopod, I'm sorry to tell you this — well, not that sorry — the customers prefer the new smaller Squidward to you. And so do I! 'Cause he's making me some bucks! So I'm changing your job to busboy, effective immediately.  Now pipe down and watch how it's done. Mini Squid: Hey, everybody! I'm Squidward and I love to dance. Jimmy Gus: I, for one, love to watch people dance while I eat. Who's with me? Who wants Mini Squidward to dance for our amusement? Mini Squid: Well, gosh, okay. Squidward: What's the big deal? Those are all my moves!  Ta-da! Fred:  Talk about no talent! Harold: Maybe Squidward should get sized-reduction surgery so he'll dance better! Squidward: That Mini Squid... Mini Squid: Everybody dance! Squidward: That was awful! Squidward: He stole my jokes... he stole my job... he stole my standing ovation! You little wooden fiend! Stop stealing my life! Milo: Stop, stop! Don't gnaw on the head of my new client, please! You don't know what you're doing. Are you mad? Have mercy! Squidward: Wait a minute. I've seen you before. You're that music agent that represents my favorite clarinet player. Milo: Salutations! I'm Milo J. Finkerfish: manager for Curly Bubbles Records. Squidward: You mean you're here to sign me up for a record deal? Milo: The answer to that question is a big N-O.  This little fella on the other hand is woo-hoo woo-hoo good! We're offering him a million dollar contract and a sequin suit. Squidward:  A sequin suit?! That's what you're supposed to offer me! Why take a cheap knock off when you can have the original. Squidward: Now, where do I sign? Milo: Yeah, right, kid!","Well, ol' Mini Squidward, I guess this is it. We've had some good times playing charades and dancing around like two giddy butterflies!  Remember?"
"Mini Squid: Yep, those were the days.","But I guess it's time for you to move on, huh? Onto greener pastures.  Arrivederci,  mon frere."
"Milo: Alright, kid, let's go become a sensation. Oh, and I'll see you at the Clammy Awards. Oh no, I guess I won't.","Bye-bye! What's the matter, actual-size Squidward?"
"Squidward: My dreams are crushed. But, hey, at least I won't have to see that Mini Squid ever again!","Yeah, I have something even better!  Another me! You're nothing! Is all that grime meant to scare me, Mr. Mirror? I've met sardines tougher than you are. Time to put you in your place.  Looking good, mirror! Sorry about the harsh words.  Now to attack these floors!"
Mr. Krabs:  Are you kidding? He's an absolute treasure to have around the restaurant!,Sounds like Mr. Krabs is bragging about me again to his associates.
Mr. Krabs: And he's been with me for such a long time now.,I am.
Mr. Krabs: But I'm afraid I'm gonna have to let the little guy go today.,"Yep, he's gonna have to--   What? Let the little guy go?! Little guy? Who's the little guy? It must be either me, or  Squidward!  Phew! I am taller. You're the little guy, Squidsy!"
"Squidward:  No, and I want you to stop calling me Squidsy.","Oh, Squidward looked taller there for a second. Better get a more accurate measurement."
Squidward: What do you think you're doing?,"Oh, just seeing which one of us is the little guy...  ...and it looks like it is you!"
"Squidward: No, I'm not!","Squidward, wait!  We haven't measured with my legs at full extension yet!"
Squidward:  I don't care! Now get back in the kitchen!,"You'll care when you find out what's gonna happen to the little guy. Whoa!  Oh, who am I kidding? I need to face the facts.  Face the facts that I'm the little guy!  And that Mr. Krabs is letting me go today."
Squidward:  Krabs is letting you go today?  As in I won't have to work with you ever again.,"Goodbye, Krusty Krab. Goodbye, life as I know it."
"Mr. Krabs:  Yeah, as much as I don't like doing it, I have to let him go.  Gotten too big for his cage.  Go on, little guy. Fly away. You'll be missed. Gary:","Oh, what's the use, Gary?  I've lost the will to go on!   Hi, Patrick."
"Patrick: Oh, sorry to interrupt your fit of self-loathing, SpongeBob.  I'm just borrowing your refrigerator again.",What happened to yours?
"Patrick: Nothing, it's just empty.","Oh, get it out of my sight! Now that I have no means of purchasing food for myself, I do not need a refrigerator."
"Patrick: Oh, don't get down on yourself, buddy. You can still purchase food for me.","Oh, no I can't, Patrick. I lost my job today. I won't be able to buy food for you, or Gary,  or for anybody!"
"Patrick:  Oh, no! What are you gonna do?!",I don't know! I don't know! I don't know! I've been a fry cook for so long I... I don't think I can do anything else.
"Patrick:  I know, SpongeBob! Just do what I do when I'm looking for a job.  Kick back, watch some TV,  and chug down a carton on Drinkable Sausage! Gary:","Good, Gary! There had to be some job openings in the classifieds.  Whoa! Although, these ads smell a little out of date. I better get some fresh ones.  Lawyer, no. Too much arguing. Stunt driver, don't have a boating license. Astronaut, don't like food in a bag. Oh, this one sounds interesting. Bank Teller Needed. That shouldn't be too much of a stretch from fry cooking.  20, 40, 60, 80, 90, 95, 96, 97.  Order up!   What do you think, boss?"
"Carpenter:  Clam shells! What have you done, boy?  I told you to build me a house, not a sandwich!","I guess I'm not a carpenter, Patrick.  I need to start fresh.  With a job that feels...natural. Something that says, This is a job for a sponge. Any idea where I can find a job like that, Patrick?"
"Patrick: No. Oh, but, yes! It's so obvious! You should work at the Krusty Krab. They need a fry cook!","I can't, Patrick. That's the job I got fired from, remember?"
Patrick: Ohhh. Mayhaps you should talk to the sponge behind you. He looks happy.,"That's just a billboard, Patrick."
Patrick: Why don't you get a job as a billboard?,"I...don't think that's physically possible,  but I could audition to be a sponge model."
"Patrick: Fine, do it your way.","Wow! What a setup! Oh, I don't know, Patrick. Maybe this was a mistake. Maybe I don't have the talent."
"Patrick: Oh, you have the talent. But do you have the natural ability?","Yeah, but...wait, isn't that the same thing?"
Patrick: Why don't you find out?,"Wait! I can't do this, Patrick. What if I don't stack up to the competition? Maybe I should just beg Mr. Krabs for my old job back."
Patrick: No way! It's too late for that now. Krabs doesn't need you anymore. This is your chance to prove you don't need him. Now get in there and earn me some groceries!   My friend here wants to audition for the sponge model role.,"Oh, well, want is a strong word. I'd like an audition, but if you've already cast it, that's fine if you cast it.  I think she's already cast it. We'd better go, Patrick."
"Casting Director:  Hold it. You want the audition, kid? You got it.",I did?
Casting Director: Show me what you got.,"Okay. Here goes.  Patrick, please?  ♪ Laaa! ♪  Sorry."
"Casting Director: Okay, okay, okay! Let's get on with this train wreck.","Okay, getting on it.  ♪ When you dream upon a wish, you'll be heartened to know, that hope fills your dish, to the brim! ♪"
"Casting Director:  All right, all right. Thank you. I've heard enough.",How'd I do?
"Casting Director: Horribly. I've seen clams with more talent than you.  But since the role specifically calls for a real sponge, the part is yours.  Here's the script. We start shooting tomorrow at 10. Don't be late.",I guess a sponge can make it in this town.  I am going to be a star!
"News Reporter: I'm standing here with the new face of television, Mr. SpongeBob SquarePants.  I'm sure the viewing audience would love to know, how does it feel to be the next big thing?",Fantastic.
"Patrick: SpongeBob. Hey, SpongeBob. Did you say something?","Oh, yes I did, Patrick.  I said, You're looking at the new face of television."
Patrick: All right!,"Well, I better go home and get some beauty sleep."
"Patrick: Yeah, beauty sleep!",That's right. You are looking at a changed sponge. But don't worry. I won't forget all the people who held me on the way up.
"Mr. Krabs:  Afternoon, boy-o!","Ah, just as I was saying. I'd like to thank you for giving me my humble start. I won't forget you."
"Mr. Krabs:  What was that about? Oh, probably just nonsense and babbling, as usual.","Patrick, when next you see me, it shall be on the television."
"Casting Director: Oh, you're back!",A star's first day is his most important.
"Casting Director: Great. Let me see if they're ready on set.  SpongeBob's here, sir. Uh-huh. Okay, great.  Okay, you can go right in.","Yippee!  I am ready for my close-up, Mr. Director."
Director:  Very well.  Lose the pants!  Hans! Where's my star?!,Whoa! What's happening?  Wh-wh-what's happening?!
"Director: In this scene, you'll be cleaning bathroom mixtures.","Okay, so, uh, where's my cleaning utensil?"
"Director:  Don't you get it? You are the cleaning utensil.  Roll speed! Charlie:  New Sponge Commercial: Take one. Director:  Action! Announcer:  Oh, no! Your bathroom is a disaster. Get it cleaned up fast with...the new sponge!  Household chores are a snap with new sponge. It cleans sinks.  Just look at that shine! New sponge cuts through even the toughest grime and grit. New sponge also cleans showers!  Ha, ha! That tile looks good as new!  But best of all, new sponge can make any toilet sparkle!",Nooo!  I can't do this!
Director:  Cut!,I'm sorry. I don't think I'm cut out for acting.
Director: Was? You said you were professional actor.,"Well, I'm not.  I am a fry cook.  That's what I am, and that's what I've always been! I'm sorry to waste your time, mister."
Director: Wait! Wait! Mr. Krabs: Ever so gently...,"Mr. Krabs!  Please let me back, please! I promise I'll do better.  Please."
"Mr. Krabs: Boy, what are you going on about?!","I heard you on the phone saying you were gonna let the little guy go. But I don't wanna go! Please don't let me go, Mr. Krabs! You're looking at the little guy that doesn't want to go."
"Mr. Krabs: All right, boy-o! I won't get rid of ya: on one condition.","Oh, boy! This is the best job in the world!"
"Hans: Hey, could you keep it down in there?  I'm trying to concentrate!","Hi-yah! Oh, sorry, pineapple house. I thought you were someone else.  Ah, what a great day at work.  Huh? Yeah...  I know you're back there, Sandy! And I also know that nobody can hide from Sponge...  ...Bob.  I got you now! Hi-yah!  Well, I guess the coast is clear."
"TV:  Yeah, shopping's weird. Did you ever go into the seafood aisle and say “Who eats this stuff?",I love this show!
Sandy: Me too!,Hi-yah!
Sandy: Hi-yah!,"Hi-yah!  Uhh, just a second.  Safety first!  And now, spin technique!"
Sandy: Hi-yah! Yah.,Double overhand squirrel knot!
"Sandy: I'm gonna get you tomorrow, SpongeBob!",That'll be the day.
"Sandy: Hello?  Nice try, SpongeBrain!  Yah!  Heh, silly me.","Hey, Sandy, have you ever heard the one about the squirrel and the tin cans?"
Sandy: I don't think so.,"Well, it goes like this!  Oh, wait, I forgot the punch line.  Oh, yeah!  That's a good one, isn't it?  What a beautiful day. Beautiful sky. Beautiful plants. Hi plants. Beautiful...  pile of cans? Mmm, mmm, Sandy, that is your worst disguise yet."
"Sandy: No it's not, SpongeBob.  This is!  Now, prepare for a long, merciless whooping!  Mmmm, my favorite. Volcano Sauce Drop: Eheheheheheh!  By the powers of naughtiness, I command this particular drop of hot sauce to be really... really... hot!",Sandy! Wait! Victory is yours.
"Sandy: I knew you'd come to your senses, SpongeBob.",Yah.
Sandy: Hi-yah!,Curses!
"Customer: With extra cheese. To go! Squidward: Three patties, four large oyster skins, on the double, SpongeBob!",Oh yeah. Gotcha!
Squidward: SpongeBob!,What?
"Squidward: I'm going to pretend that didn't happen.  Now fill these orders or leave, SpongeBob. We're very busy today!",Order up.
"Squidward: SpongeBob! Now are you gonna... Mr. Krabs: Oh, Squidward. I was going through some records back in me office and--Huh? So, you got the hairpiece after all.",Hi-yah!
Fred:  My leg!,"Thought you could sneak up on me at work, did ya? Well, you can't! ‘Cause I'm fast, I'm mean, and I can do this!  Ssss!  Took care of her, yes I did.  Oh, ahoy, sir!"
Mr. Krabs: What was that?,"But, sir, she snuck up on me. In my own dojo."
"Mr. Krabs: Are you on some new allergy medication, boy?","No, sir. Just practicing my karate, sir. Or kara-tay, as some call it."
Mr. Krabs: Kara-tay? You should be making me money-ay! With your spatu-lae! Now get back to work.,"Aye aye, capi-tay. Nice hairpiece, Squidward."
"Squidward: SpongeBob, did you get those bathrooms mopped yet?","Yes, ma'am. I mean, sir. I mean, boss. I mean, poobah!"
Squidward:  Go!,Hah!  Sandy!
Mr. Krabs: No more.,"But, Mr. Krabs."
"Mr. Krabs: Shh! No more of this karate stuff, lad. Or you're fired.",Fired?  No more karate? How am I gonna tell Sandy?
Sandy: Hi-yah!,"Sandy, wait! I can't. Mr. Krabs said I have to give up karate."
"Sandy:  Uh-huh. Sure, SpongeBob.","No, no. Really, Sandy. Stop."
"Sandy:  I'm not falling for it, SpongeBob!","No, really! Please, stop!"
Mr. Krabs: What the?  SpongeBob!,"Ahh, Mr. Krabs!"
"Mr. Krabs: What did I just get through telling ye, lad?","But I, uhh, she..."
"Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, you're fired! Sandy: Huh?",Fired?
"Mr. Krabs: Eh? Sandy: SpongeBob?  Wait, Mr. Krabs, it's not his fault! It's- it's mine! He tried to tell me, but I wouldn't listen!  Give him another chance, please? Mr. Krabs: Hmmm.  Alright, me boy, I'll give you a second chance. But no more karate. It's poisoning your mind.  Mmm, mammals. Sandy: Aww, shoot, SpongeBob. I guess you ain't fibbing.  Aww, that game was getting old anyway. It's not fun anymore. I mean, what's so fun about  this?",Nothing. Nothing is fun about that at all!
Sandy: We can find something to do that's almost nine times as fun.,"We can? I mean, sure we can. Yeah! Like we can, uhh.  We can squeeze things!  Woo! How much fun was that?"
Sandy: Almost some.,I know! We can act like plants.  Photosynthesis. Photosynthesis.
Sandy: Wanna go to the park?,Karate sure is dumb.
"Sandy: Yeah, you can say that again.",I feel dumb just thinking about it.  Duuuuh! I'm stuuuupiiid! I like karaaateee! Doyeee!
Sandy: You like what?,Not karate.
Sandy: Ha! I don't even know what that is.,"Me, too. I don't know what anything is! In fact..."
Fisherman:  Hi-yah! Hi-yah!,"For a second, that sounded like."
Sandy: Karate?,"Right now? I mean, no! What is this karate?  Uhh, what do you want on your sandwich?"
Sandy: Karate.,What did you say?
"Sandy: Uhh, mustard. Mustard! I want mustard on my sandwich.  There we go.",How many slices of barnacle loaf do you want?
Sandy: One. Just one.,One for you!
Sandy: Hmmm?,And one for me!
"Sandy: Ohh, uhh, SpongeBob?",Hmm?
"Sandy: Maybe just one more. Uhh, I'm kinda hungry.","Sure thing, Sandy."
Sandy: SpongeBob?,Yeah?
"Sandy: Do you think, umm, do you think I could cut this one?","Uhh, sure."
Sandy: Thanks. Hi-yah!  Is that enough?,Maybe just one more. Or two!
Sandy: Or three!,Or ten!
"Sandy: Ten! Yes, ten! Because we're really hungry!",Right!
Sandy: Right!,Right!
Sandy: Right!,Time for buns!
Sandy: How about some tomatoes?,And I'll cut the cheese!
"Sandy: And, what else should we slice?",More buns!
Sandy:  And lettuce! Both: Yeah!,"Phew. Making sandwiches sure is fun. Right, Sandy?  Right? I guess I'll eat one now."
Sandy: You're mince meat!,In your dreams! Hi-yah!
Mr. Krabs: Huh? What the barnacle?,Do you think Mr. Krabs ever does karate?
Mr. Krabs:   Bleuhahugh!,"Mr. Krabs!  Uhh, hey, Mr. Krabs, how’s it going?  Nice day, huh?  Oh, alright, Mr. Krabs. You caught me. But you know what? I just can't help myself. You're just gonna have to fire me."
Mr. Krabs: Fire ya?  I've got something else in mind. Sandy: I love karate!,I love kara-tay!
Mr. Krabs: I love money-ay! Squidward: I hate all of you.,"Oh, boy, the mail's here!  What do we have today?  Gas bill... taxes... letter to SpongeBob from -  Grandma!"
"Grandma's voice: Dear SpongeBob, won't you come join me for my birthday? I'll be turning...even older this year! With love, Grandma.","Oh, Grandma's turning even older! I can't wait to celebrate!  Sorry, Gary, I am gonna miss you when I'm gone...but, if I'm not here, who's going to take care of you?"
Squidward:  Hmhmhmhm...,"Hi, Squidward!"
Squidward:,My daddy is going away. Can you take care of me...eow?
"Squidward: Oh, no. No way! Look what that disgusting pest did to my sustainable kelp garden!  He chewed it up, ruined it!","Gary, is that true?"
Gary:  Meow.,"Well, I'll see you later, Squidward. Patrick!  Patrick?"
Patrick:,"Patrick, what are you doing?"
"Patrick: I'm talking to my friend, Funny.  Hi, Funny!","Heh, yeah. Hey, Patrick, I need to ask a favor of you."
Patrick: What is it?,I need you to take care of Gary.
Patrick: Are you going off the grid?,What?
"Patrick: Don't worry, I know what I do. You're gonna need one of these.","No, that's not it! I am going to see my Grandma for her birthday, and I'm trusting my best pal to watch carefully over Gary when I'm gone."
Patrick: You got it. He's safe with me! Gary: Meow!,"Okay, Patrick. There you are!"
Patrick:  What's that?,It's a chronological list of all the things you need to do with Gary. Make sure you do each and every one.
"Patrick:  Got it! Hey, do you have any more of those deep fried cream filled sugar-coated coral balls?","Oh, yeah. They're in the cupboard."
"Patrick:  Ooh, coral balls.","I'm gonna miss you, little guy. But I know you are going to be in good hands."
"Patrick:  You can't get to my stomach now, white coral ball.","Okay, Gary. I'll be home by ten.  Dear Patrick, just do verify.  First, you feed Gary, then you pet Gary, then you-"
Patrick:  SpongeBob!  Don't you trust me? I am the most responsible guy you know!,You know what? You're right.
"Patrick: Well, of course I am!  Now, go see your Grandma. Gary's in good hands.  Yep! Looks like it's just you and me, friend. Gary: Meow. Patrick: Hmmm... I wonder what we should do first.  You need to work on your handwriting, SpongeBob. I don't need this anyway.  Oh! I know! Let's go for a walk! Gary: Patrick:  Oh. Looks like my tummy is having an argument with the coral balls. Ohhh... Gary: Patrick:  Better. Gary:  Meow. Patrick: Oh, hey, friend! What's up? Gary:  Meow.  Meow. Patrick: Step aside, Barry. Let me show you how it's done.  Ooh. Gotta try a bite of this.  Ahh.  Good stuff. Gary: Patrick: I wonder what SpongeBob's got for you in the fridge. Grandma:  I hope you saved room for dessert, SpongeBob.","Oh, Grandma, you shouldn't have. It's your birthday, I should be serving you!"
"Grandma: Awww... I know how much you love sweets, and I know how much you love your pet snail, so I made you this special gelatin mold.","Gary. Oh, Gary."
Patrick: He's safe with me. Gary: Meow.,"Grandma, can I please use your phone?"
Grandma: Of course!,Thank you.
Patrick:  Hello?,"Patrick, it's SpongeBob. How's Gary?"
"Patrick: Oh, Gary! Yeah, he's fine. Gary:  Meow.","Sounds like you got everything under control. Oh, and make sure to give Gary his bath."
"Patrick:  Whew! SpongeBob was right. You need a bath!  Oh! I almost forgot.  Snail food! Gary:  Meow! Patrick:  Gotta get the water to stay in there somehow.  Now, Gary, we don't eat the bath. We get in the bath.  Come on, Gary.  Oh, don't be difficult now, Gary.  Gary!  There you are!  Oh, what now?  SquarePants household.","Yeah, Patrick, about Gary's bath, make sure the bath water is not too hot, and he doesn't like too many bubbles."
"Patrick: Yeah, yeah.",And remember to dry him off really good.
Patrick: All right.,And don't forget about the list!
"Patrick:  Okay, I get it, SpongeBob! I get it, I get it!  No!  I don't get these new beguiled shower heads.   Gary! Time for your-   Wait a minute, Patrick! You gotta trick the snail!  You gotta be smarterer than him!  Hey, buddy! I got something cool to show you. And it's the opposite of a wet watery bath.  Take it down! Gary:  Meow! Patrick: Doesn't that look fun? Gary:   Meow! Patrick: Well, make up your mind! Is it water or fire?  Okay, Gary. If you don't come to the bath, then the bath's gonna come to you.  That's a good boy! Now, suds up! Gary:  Meow! Patrick: That wasn't so bad, now was it? Gary:  Oww! Patrick:  Oh, now we gotta dry you off. Unfortunately, I couldn't find any salt. So, I'll have to use the next best thing!  There! Doesn't that feel better? Okay!  Let's see, Gary's eaten, he's had his bath, Time to watch the TV!  Sheesh, Gary! Well, if you wanted another bath, why didn't you just ask? Gary:  Meow!","♪Happy Birthday dear old Grandma, Grandma, Grandma! The best Grandma in the world, Grandma, Grandma!♪"
"Grandma:  Oh, dear! Look at all those candles! Why, if I were any older, we'd be in danger of burning down the house!","Grandma, can I use your phone again?"
"Grandma: Go ahead, dear. But there may not be any cake left when you get back! Patrick:  SquareyPants' house.","Just checking, is everything okay over there?"
Patrick:  Who is this?,It's SpongeBob. Is Gary all right?
"Patrick: Oh, yeah. He's-","He's what? He's what, Patrick? Gary is what?!  What is happening to them?!  They need my help!  Grandma! Grandma!"
"Grandma: Hold on, dear.  Just...just let me finish these last few candles.  I did it!  Oh, but oh, am I tired!","Ooh, better get you to bed now. Good night, Grandma!"
Grandma: What a good boy!,"Hang on, Gary!  Gary!  What's the matter, buddy?  Ahh... reading Patrick a bedtime story, I see. Snail Tales, that's a good one."
"Patrick:  Snail Tales? I thought it was called, Meow, meow, meow.",It's time to grow myself large and wide.
"Sandy: Howdy, SpongeBob. How's it goin'?","Not too close, Sandy. I tend to get smelly when I'm pumpin' iron. Check it out."
"Sandy: Well, you're smelly.",All thanks to my state-of-the-art work set.
"Sandy: Uhh... I don't wanna disappoint you, SpongeBob, but you won't see any progress with those.","Oh, really?"
"Sandy: That is, if you want arms like these...  ...or these...  ...or these!","Well, uhh, maybe I could use a little help."
"Sandy: Well, if you want arms like mine, you just gotta follow my training program.","Wow, really? That'd be great, Sandy. I can see me now.  La-la-la, la-la, la-la-la, la-la.  Goodnight, Gary."
Gary: Meow.,Yeah... that would change everything!
"Sandy: Be at my place at 5 a.m. Oh! And you'll need a water helmet.  Come on, SpongeBob, it's only push-ups! Come on. Come on! You can do it!",One.
"Sandy:  Alright, put 'em up!",They're up.
Sandy: Ding ding!  Feeling the burn?,I'm! Fee!! Ling!!! Some!!!! Thing!!!!!
"Sandy: Well, now that we've got warmed up, it's time for the arm-cruncher.","Arm-cruncher, great...  This squirrel's trying to kill me."
Sandy:  This is it.,"Hey, that's great, Sandy, well, I sure had fun, we'll have to do it again sometime, bye.  This working-out thing, isn't working out.  Ow. Ow. Ow."
"Shark:  Hey! Hey, you! Wimpy, wimpy, wimpy! Oh, I'm a little peanut worm. Are you too much of a wimp to work out? Are you a weakling built like a sponge? Well, now you too can have muscles.",Huh?
"Shark: With Anchor arms!  They slip on like a glove. Just add air.  How big do you want 'em?  Normal?  Veiny!? And for the ladies...  ...hairy.  I was a wimp before Anchor arms. Now, I'm a jerk, and everybody loves me! So order now, wimp!","Wow, now that's a good idea!"
Gary: Meow.,"I wanna be just like him. Yeah, I've gotta get to a phone!  Hi, Squidward!"
Squidward:  SpongeBob? Mr. Krabs:  Huh!?,"Ahoy, Mr. Krabs!!"
Mr. Krabs: Mother of pearl! Fish: Owww...,"Hi, guys."
"Larry: SpongeBob, is that you!?","Who were you expecting, Tiny Tim? Wait... wait...  They're big, aren't they?"
"Larry: Dude, you're ripped!",THANK YOU. I've been working out. Excuse me a second.  Yeah. Anyone up for the...  ...juice bar?
"Scooter: I'm tellin' ya, he's huge! Sandy: Have you guys seen SpongeBob anywhere? Scooter: You mean 'MuscleBob BuffPants'? He's in there! Sandy: Uhh, whatever. Thanks.",I start off with twenty raw eggs everyday. But that's just me.
Sandy: Pardon me.,Working out is my life! I remember when I used to look like that guy over there!
"Fish: Who, me?","I remember when I used to look like you, too.  But, that was a long time ago."
"Bartender: Here's your drink, sir.",Thank you.  Yeah...
Sandy: SpongeBob? Wha-where'd you get those muscles?,"I've created my own workout routine that's given me amazing results.  Whoops! Yeah, I have never felt better."
"Sandy: Heck, what's your secret?",What?
Sandy: Your secret workout. What is it?,"Hmmm... well... I, uhh... first I... take my hand... and I do this."
Larry: Are you kidding?,Do these muscles lie?
Sandy: I'm glad to see you found an exercise program that works for you.,"Yeah, your workout routine wasn't quite tough enough for me."
Sandy: Can't argue with those results. What you need to do now is put those muscles to the test.,"Uhh, what do you mean?"
"Sandy: The big Mussel Beach anchor tossing competition. It's today! Everybody'll be there! Bartender: Here's your drink. Sandy: Hey, with those arms, you'll do great!","Uhh, well, I'm not sure."
"Sandy: C'mon, let's go.","Right now? Wait, uhh, wait, Sandy. I don't think it's such a...  Sandy, wait!"
Sandy: Here it is-- the sign-in list.,"Oh, no."
"Sandy:  Okay, Sannnndy... Cheeks.","Wait, Sandy... don't sign just yet! Wait-!"
Sandy: Okay...,WAAAAIT!
Sandy:  SpongeBobbbb SquaaaarePaaaants.,"Sandy, wait...!"
"Sandy: It's okay, SpongeBob, I already signed your name in.","Oh, great. Thanks, Sandy."
"Announcer: We on? Welcome to the Goo Lagoon 8th annual anchor toss competition. Sandy: Ready, SpongeBob?","Oh, yeah. Great. No problem."
"Announcer: Could I get some mustard on that? Oh. First up, Don the Whale. Measurer: 200 yards! Announcer: Let's see an instant-replay.  Amazing! Up next, Larry the Lobster. Measurer: 210 yards!! Announcer: Here goes, Sandy Cheeks. Measurer: 510 yaaaards!!! Announcer: Wow! Fabulous! Sandy: Beat that, SpongeBob! Announcer: Up next: SpongeBob SquarePants! Crowd:  SpongeBob! SpongeBob! SpongeBob!",Just kidding. Just kidding... heh!
Sandy: That SpongeBob is funnier than ears on an acorn!,"Oh, this is it. They're all gonna find out I'm a fake. I can't give up. I've got to try. I can do it! I've got Anchor Arms! I'm no wimp! I'm a jerk!! Yeah."
"Crowd:  SpongeBob! SpongeBob! Crowd Attendee: Ooh, I think he lost.  Sandy! Sandy! Sandy!",96... 97... 98... 99... 100.
Sandy: I want 100 more.,It hurts.  1. 2. 3. 4...
"Sandy: I think we finally found an exercise for you, SpongeBob.",...9. 10.  Can you get that?
Patrick:  You're it!,"You're it!  Wait, Pat, you're it!  The sign!"
Patrick: Huh?  Duuhh... aaann... ger...  cliff!,"Patrick!  Let me help you out of there, buddy!  Is the rest of you down there?"
Patrick:  The rest of me is up here.,"Whew, you had me worried there, buddy.  Here's your head."
Patrick: I find all this laughter to be highly illogical.,"Well, let's stop laughin' and let's start fishin'!  Go ahead, you get first crack."
Patrick:  Look at them. These graceful stoic creatures of the deep.,"Huh? Those are some big words, Pat. I've never heard you use them before."
"Patrick: Nonsense, my vocabulary is infinitely expanding.","Well, let's expand our jellyfish nets! C'mon, Patrick!  Look, buddy, I captured one!"
Patrick: Yes...  I captured one as well without disturbing its delicate ecosystem. It is wrong to harness nature in such a barbaric manner.,Okay...what do you wanna do?
Patrick: Let us go off and admire the beauty and fragility of nature.,Pretty.
"Patrick: Yes, quite.",Fragile.
Patrick: Indeed.,"C'mon, Patrick, let's do something fun!"
"Patrick: Oh, you want to run some statistics or observe phenomenon and render hypothesis of said phenomenon?","I was thinking more like jumping rope,  1-legged races , or playing duck-duck-hermit crab."
Patrick: Doesn't feel like fun.,"How about some jokes?  Patrick, what's the difference between a guitar and a jellyfish?"
Patrick: You can't strum a jellyfish.,Yes!
"Patrick: Oh my, look at the time. I really must be going.","What's wrong with Patrick? I sure hope he gets better soon.  Are you better, Pat? Uhh, whatcha doing?"
Patrick: Just studying this amazing subspecies. Plankton:  I'll show you subspecies!,Wanna visit Squidward?
"Patrick: Well, since I am finished with my work, I'll humor you with your trivial pursuits.  I'd recognize that piece anywhere! Cornelius Pufferfish's Opus 67, Symphony in Blue. Squidward:  Patrick? Patrick: It's a beautiful piece. Execution needs some work.  May I suggest on the 7th bar of the adagio andante that you add a little fortissimo on the arpeggiated b-flat scale. Squidward: Wow! I never thought to do it like that. Patrick: Well, that is because you rarely think.",How do you know so much about music?
Patrick: A creative outlet provides a spiritual release and helps facilitate a healthy mental balance.  Ah.,Does that include...  belch-talk-ing?
"Patrick:  Mr. SquarePants, I find your humor vulgar. Squidward: I had no idea you were so knowledgeable, Patrick! Do you think you can be my musical mentor?","Uhh, guys?"
"Patrick: Let's take it from the top.  Not so excellent, Squidward. Let me demonstrate the proper technique.  On second thought, practice makes perfect. Let's begin.  Thank you, my good chap. Unfortunately, this is a solo piece for clarinet only. And 1, 2, 3, 4...  Stop! Enough!  Find yourself a new mentor!","Now that you have some free-time, let's get some grub."
"Patrick: No, SpongeBob, I'm afraid not.","Well, I have a brand new bottle of super-bubbly bubble soap!"
"Patrick:  No, thanks again.","Well, maybe later we can play pirates."
"Patrick: Robert, my dear, it's no use. We've just grown apart.",What? What do you mean?
"Patrick: I know we've had fun in the past, but we're just not compatible anymore. It's time we went our separate ways...such is life.","But Patrick, you're my best friend!"
"Patrick: I know it's hard, but brace up, chap.",Yeah.
"Patrick: Maybe our paths will cross again someday. Think fondly of me, Mr. SquarePants.","Goodbye... Mr... Best friend!  Sandy, you there? I need some professional help.  Patrick?"
"Sandy: Well, Pat, the new you gets an A+. Patrick: Why, thank you, Sandra. I find your intellect rather stimulating as well. Sandy: Oh, really? Well, thanks.  Well, Patrick, what do you think about this problem? Patrick:  You simply change the literal term to a coefficient and the minuend will achieve the desired quotient. Even the simplest of mammals can figure it out with a little thought. Sandy:  What do you mean by that, Patrick? Patrick: I'm merely suggesting you lack the ability to solve remedial equations. Sandy: Are you suggesting I'm dumb? Patrick: I'd use a more sophisticated word like 'impaired'. Sandy: I think you'd better leave. Patrick: I was only trying to help. Sandy: I don't need your kind of help, Mr. know-it-all! I liked you better when you were a barnacle head!",I never thought I'd lose my best friend. How can I compete with geniusness? Ohhhhhh!
Patrick:  Surrounded by knowledge and no one to share it with. No one I can call friend. Who's that old chap I used to run with?  SpongeBob.,"Well, at least Patrick's my friend in my memories."
"Patrick: Aww, the glory days. Why have we grown apart? I must apply all that I know to solve this problem!  What could it be?  What's different? Ah!  What?! I'd do anything to have my old buddy back by my side again!","Coming...  Patrick, you're kidnapping me?"
"Patrick: Yes, I am.",Yay!  What should we do?
"Patrick: We are going to have fun, whatever the cost may be.",Let's do this.
"Patrick: Yes, let's have some fun.","Oh, yeah!"
"Patrick:  Oh, absolutely!  Are you quite sure I found this activity to be fun?","Yeah!  That was fun, huh Patrick?"
"Patrick:  When did the fun go away, SpongeBob?",It went away when you jumped off that cliff and knocked your head clean off.
Patrick: That's it!,"That's what? Patrick, what are you doing?"
Patrick: I'm going to duplicate my actions from that day to ascertain the origin of my cha...an...nge!,"Patrick! Hold on, buddy!  There ya go.  Don't worry, Patrick. I found your head last time, I'll find it again!  Not back there.  Not under here. What if I can't find it? Oh, poor headless Patrick!  Patrick, your head is back! But, uhh, do you feel different?"
"Patrick: Quite unchanged, actually.",I guess we'll never have fun together again.
Patrick: You said you found my dislodged cranial cap last time.,Yes.
Patrick: Where exactly did you find it?,"Uhh, it was right here."
"Patrick: Hmmm, impossible! If I landed here, the trajectory of my dismembered skull would cause it to come to rest, not there, but here, exactly five meters due north.","But if that's your head, then what did I pick up over...  Brain Coral! No wonder you got so smart, buddy.  Here you go, Patrick, your old head. Are you sure you want to give up being smart and sophisticated to be my friend again?"
Patrick: Knowledge can never replace friendship. I prefer to be an idiot!,"Not just an idiot, Patrick. You're also my pal.  Patrick? Say something, Patrick."
"Patrick:  Hi, SpongeBob.","Patrick, you're back!"
"Patrick: Patrick, you're back.","Sounds like Squidward ate at Mario's last night.  Good thing no one's around to notice his embarrassing...  Those construction workers! Squidward will die of embarrassment if they hear his dilemma! Poor Squidward, he must be in too much pain to make courtesy noises.  I'll cover for him! Whoa!  Sorry, fellas, this sure is a noisy trowel.  Listen to this thing!  Ah, I really should get..."
"Squidward: SpongeBob, can you keep it down? I am trying to hone my musical talent here.",You mean that wasn't gastrointestinal distress?
"Squidward: And you guys!  Do you really think that billboard is more important than my musical genius? Worker 1: Well, sorry, but some of us rather enjoy the Bikini Bottom Symphony Orchestra. Squidward:  Bikini Bottom Symphony Orchestra? Worker 1: And we find their public announcements to be quite interesting. Squidward: Original compositions wanted? Me, a famous composer?  Thank you, thank you!  That would be nice. Worker 1: Ew! Squidward: Whoo-hooo! Yeah! Yeah!",You've really made him happy.
Worker 2: I know what I've done.,Okay...
"Squidward: Okay.  Get it together, Squidward. Put your game face on.  Ah, that's better.  Take your time with this one, Squidward, old boy.  Due tomorrow?!  Only one day to write my masterpiece!","Don't worry, Squidward, we'll do it together."
"Squidward:  No!  Get out!  Patrick, what're you doing here? Patrick: Uhh... I don't know.  I'm funny.","Are you sure you don't need any help, Squidward?"
"Squidward: No, thank you.  I am a solitary artist. Patrick: Uhh, SpongeBob...","Yes, Patrick?"
Patrick: I think I broke my bottom.,"Broke your bottom, oh, Patrick, you're a card!  Whoa!"
Patrick: Yeah!  Ah. Much better.,"Hey, Patrick, I think you should see a doctor."
Patrick: I can't see a doctor. My job doesn't provide me with health insurance.,What job is that?
Patrick: Exactly. Squidward: I'm a genius!,"The doctor will see you now, Mr. Star.  Mmm hmm. Mmm hmm. Mmm hmm."
Squidward: Can't you two be quiet for one day? My composition is due tomorrow.,"Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no. My patient is very sick."
"Patrick: Hey, I broke my butt. Squidward:  Become famous, revenge later. Hmm.  Come on! Be inspired!  Brilliant! Squidward: Noooo!  Why? Why? Why? Oh, why?  Dowrgghgh!  I did it!  Hahahahahaha! Yes!  I did it! I did it! I did it! And I did it! Ha ha ha ha! Patrick:  Did what? Squidward: Here you go, maestro, my masterpiece. Conductor:  Hmm, ohh, very unusual. I think we have a winner, Mr. Tentacles! Johnny: Good evening, music lovers of Bikini Bottom. Tonight, is the premiere of a new symphony, written by one of our own, Squidward Tentacles. Squidward: I wrote down everything I heard? Pilar: Oooo! That's gonna leave a mark! Nazz: Poor guy. Squidward: Patrick, get off of me! Audience Member: Oh, now that's what I call music! Shubie: That little yellow guy is awesome! Bill: Let us not forget the tubby starfish! Fred: Oh, yeah, but the real genius is the composer!  Squidward! Squidward! Squidward!","Wow, Squidward, they really liked you! Just don't get a swelled head. What's this?  It says a free prize!  Huh? Where's my prize?  Free Prize.  Offer inside! Just send in 99 box tops!  How you doing over there, Gary?"
Gary: Meow.  Meow.,"Send in the box tops...  ...before eating all the cereal?!?  Gary, you are a genius! I'm waiting. I'm waiting."
SpongeBob and Patrick:  I'm waiting. Patrick: I'm waiting. SpongeBob and Patrick: We're waiting. We're waiting.,We're waiting.
"Patrick: SpongeBob, what are we waiting for?",We're waiting for the mailman. He's bringing me a free toy.
Patrick:  I love toys! Can I wait for your toy with you?,"Why, sure."
Both: We're waiting. We're waiting. We're waiting. Patrick: There's the mailman! Mailfish: Are you SpongeBob SquarePants?,Yup.  Isn't there anything else?
"Mailfish: Nope, sorry kid.",Guess we'll have to keep waiting.
"Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob, I'm hungry.","Me, too."
Patrick: Let's go down to the Krusty Krab for a Krabby Patty.,"Great idea, Patrick. Krusty Krab, here we... wait a minute. What if the mailman comes when I'm gone?"
Patrick: What's wrong SpongeBob?,"If I leave, the mailman might come and I might miss him."
"Patrick: Oh, I'm gonna take off then. I don't think my arm can stand much more of this.",Got to stay focused.
"Sandy: Hiya! Hey, SpongeBob, want to do some karaaaaaa...!","Not now, I'm busy.  Oh, Gary, not now. Can't you see that I'm waiting for the mailman?! Doesn't anyone understand this?!?  So tired.  So hungry.  But... must wait... for toy."
"Patrick: Hey, buddy.",WHAT?! WHAT DO YOU WANT?! Can't you see I'm doing something here?!  This better be good.
"Patrick: You missed your surprise birthday party, so I just wanted to bring you a present and some cake because you missed it.",My birthday party?  I missed... my... birthday party?
"Patrick: Yeah, see?  Here's a present and your cake.",My birthday cake.
"Patrick: Yeah. Let me just get you a fork so you can eat it.  Uh, let me just hold the cake like this,  so I can get you a fork.  Huh, I wonder where I put that fork.  Oops.",That was my cake.  What is the present?
"Patrick: Oh, yeah.  The fork!",That stupid toy! I wasted my whole life waiting for it!
"Patrick: Actually, you've only been here 20 minutes.","I've been mean to Gary and I flipped Sandy, and now you hate me cause... I'm a big jerk!"
"Patrick: No, I don't.","Yes, you do."
Patrick:  I said he's having a moment! Now leave him alone! Mailfish: But I just...,"No, Patrick, people like me don't deserve moments.  I get so caught up in..."
"Mailfish: Oh, here ya go.",...in waiting for... my toy!  Whoo!
Both: Whoo! Yeah!,"Patrick, are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
Patrick: Yup. Both: It's beautiful! Patrick: SpongeBob?,I waited so long...
Patrick: SpongeBob?,And you broke it...
"Patrick: You okay, buddy?","Yes, yes I'm okay."
"Patrick:  For a sec, I...",You! You ruined my free toy!
"Patrick: I'm sorry. Oh, maybe if you just... Squidward:  Just keep walking, Squiddy, don't make eye contact.  Ah, now to soothe my frayed nerves.  Alright, what's going on? Why are you two crying?",I-I ate... bo-bo-box tops. And then... I'm waiting. I'm waiting. And then he came and we're waiting. We're waiting. And then my toy and then you and then snap and then this!
Squidward: There. Now see?  It's supposed to do that.,"Hey, my toy's okay!"
Squidward: Good. Now will you two be quiet?,"Look, Patrick, Squidward fixed it.  How can we ever thank you?"
"Patrick: Yeah, how can we thank you? Squidward: Move to another neighborhood. Gary: Meow.","Good morning to you, too, Gary. Help yourself to some breakfast kibble while I make ready for my day at the Krusty Krab."
Gary: Meow.,"Finished your breakfast already, Gare? You always were a good little eater."
Gary: Meow.,"We can play fetch when I get home, Gary. Right now Mr. Krabs needs me. There's leftovers in the fridge if you get..."
Gary: Meow.,"Ah! Gary, what has gotten into you? Is there something important that you'd like to tell me?  Ah! Today is Sunday?! But that means..."
Gary: Meow.,"Yeah. That's exactly right, Gare-bear. I can't go to work today.  The Krusty Krab is closed on Sundays.  Gee, Gary, I was really looking forward to work. Now what purpose could today possibly have?  Yeah, Mr. Krabs, did you me to come into work today? Oh. Hi, Sandy. Yeah... No... No, just me and Gary... No. I don't know yet... No, I'm not sick... You... need... a house-sitter?! Today?!"
"Sandy: That's right, SpongeBob. I know it's last minute, but...",I would love to.
"Sandy: Okay, SpongeBob, my treedome is a highly technical facility and there are many facets to its operation.  SpongeBob, are you getting all this?",Uh-huh.
Sandy: Here's a comprehensive list of dos and don'ts to follow.,"Well, this looks easy to remember. It's just a little black smudge."
Sandy:  That's to save paper. You'll need this special reading scope.,Oh.
"Sandy: Now pay attention as I clue you in on some of your more elaborate responsibilities. This majestic structure is my kelp greenhouse. Its functions are complete automated, so all you have to do...",Wow...!
Sandy: ...is check this thermometer right here and make sure the temperature is normal.,Nor... mal. Got it.
Sandy: And this is the robot warehouse. It's where I keep all my robots.,That stands to reason.
"Sandy: This part's easy. All's you gotta do is come in here and count every single one of these robots and make sure none of them's gone missing.  You seem to be doing a good job paying attention, SpongeBob.",I respect your meticulous nature.
"Sandy:  Oh! Why, thank you, SpongeBob!",What's next on the list?
"Sandy: This here is my worm incubator. They're not set to hatch for weeks, but I just thought I'd show it to you anyway.  And last but not least is my collection of rare and fragile artifacts that has to be cleaned twice daily. Now are you sure you can handle all that, SpongeBob?","Trust me, Sandy. You've got nothing to worry about. Your beloved treedome is in my capable hands."
Sandy: Are you sure?,Yep.
Sandy: Are you really sure?,Really sure.
Sandy: Okay.,"Normal.  2,692...  2,693...  2,694...  Sandy said this collection of rare fragile artifacts needs to be gently cleaned twice daily. There we go. Not a speck of dust anywhere. Wait a minute.  Aha!  There... we go.  Worm incubator. Well, looks like everything's fine here.  What the...?  Ohhh! Sandy said these wouldn't hatch for...  ...weeks! What is going on?!  Oh! Patrick?"
Patrick: SpongeBob! There you are!,"Oh, what a relief. I thought you were a horrible mutant worm who was about to soak me with digestive juices and slowly consume me over a period of weeks."
"Patrick: Nah, no thanks. I had a late breakfast.",Why are you wearing that funny thing on your head?
"Patrick: Well, because we can't breathe in Sandy's treedome, remember? It's filled with air.","Oh, yeah, thanks for reminding me. I almost for...  P-P-P-Patrick! Help me! I-I can't b-b-b-breathe!"
Patrick: There you go.,"Thanks, Patrick. You're a life-saver. Now that I haven't suffocated, it's high time I got back to this list of house-sitting duties. So without further ado, Patrick,  I'd like you to please immediately exit the treedome."
Patrick: E-Exit the... Exit the treedome?!,That's right. Exit the tree...
"Patrick: Oh, SpongeBob, that's a great idea! Where should we go—Jellyfish Fields, Goo Lagoon, Barg'N-Mart, Lucky Larry's?","Well, Lucky Larry's sounds fun."
"Patrick: All right, let's go!","Hold it! I promised Sandy I'd take extra-special care of her treedome while she's at the Inventor's Convention today. And that is exactly what I intend to do. Patrick, this is a major responsibility."
"Patrick: Well, in that case, I'd better stay and help you.",Nnnnope.
Patrick: Pleeease?,Not gonna happen.
Patrick: Pretty please?,No way.
Patrick: Pretty please with a scoop of vanilla ice cream?,"Yeah, right."
"Patrick: Pretty please with a scoop of strawberry, vanilla, and chocolate ice cream, smothered in gooberberry sauce and topped with half a can of whipped topping?","Patrick, what do you take me for?"
Patrick: And a scoop of nuts!,Deal.
Patrick:  Hooray!,But you have to promise not to touch anything.
"Patrick:  I, Patrick Star, hereby promise not to touch anything.","Okay. Now, let's check the list to see what's nex...  Patrick!   Patrick, no! You promised me you weren't gonna touch anything!"
Patrick:  I wasn't touching anything!,Then what were you just doing to Sandy's collection of rare and fragile artifacts?!
Patrick: Um... Tasting it.,"Okay, Patrick, I insist. From now on, you must stick to me as closely as possible. Do I make myself perfectly clear?  Patrick, I said, do I make myself perf... Patrick! Patrick?"
Patrick: Is this close enough?,"Okay, Patrick, tell me again what it is you're gonna do."
Patrick: Not... touch anything.,Mm-hmm. What else?
Patrick: Not do anything.,And...?
Patrick: Not... look at anything.,Until when? Until...?
Patrick: Until... SpongeBob is done house sitting.,"Good boy, Patrick!"
Patrick: SpongeBob!,"Yes, Patrick?"
"Patrick: Uh, can I... can I... can I... can I... can I...","Patrick, how many times did we---"
SpongeBob and Patrick: Uh-oh! Patrick: Wasn't me!,"Well, I, I guess I can't handle it after all I... I'm a failure!"
"Patrick: Hey, buddy, it's not as bad as it seems.","Oh yeah, what makes you say that?"
"Patrick: Well, not everything is broken.",Sa..S...S..San....Sandy!  How was the inventors convention?
"Patrick: Did you bring back any souvenirs? Sandy: Funny, y'all should ask that.",It is?
"Sandy: Yep. I brought home something real handy. SpongeBob and Patrick: Sandy: And I'm setting it to maximum power. Patrick: SpongeBob, this is it, our final goodbye.",I never thought I go out like this.
Patrick: At a handsome squirrel?,"No, with a fishbowl on my head."
"Sandy: Eureka, it worked! The experiment is a success. SpongeBob and Patrick: Experiment? Sandy: That's right, boys. I wanted you to destroy my home all along so I can test this out this here rubble reverse ray blaster on some genuine rubble. I could've just smashed all this stuff up myself, but nobody destroys stuff up quite like y'all. You're not a failure SpongeBob, you're a scientist! Patrick: Hooray!",Hooray!
"SpongeBob, Patrick, and Sandy: Uh-oh! Patrick: Wasn't me! Sandy: Quit your worryin', y'all. I can fix it all with my handy dandy rubble reverse ray blaster. Robot: Ha, ha, ha!","Silly old robot. He doesn't realize you have more than one of these ray guns. Isn't that right, Sandy? You do have more than one them? Don't you Sandy?   Sandy?"
Sandy: SpongeBob!,"La la la la la.  Missed ya. Uh-oh.  You shouldn't play in the street, little guy. You could get run over.  The Ild Ones! That's a strange name.  Scallop!  Bye Ild Ones. I like your silly name. Hmm...w. Oh, oh, they're not the Ild Ones. They must be the Wild Ones."
"Fish:  The Wild Ones?! Tar nation! Don't you know who the Wild Ones are, son?!","No; I don't know who you are, either."
"Fish: Why, they're the most ferocious, bloodthirsty biker gang under the sea. They've destroyed entire cities in an afternoon!",Bloodthirsty bikers? And they're headed straight for Bikini Bottom! I've got to warn everybody! I better take the shortcut!  Mr. Krabs!
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob! Where in the blue barnacles did you come from?,"There's no time for that, Mr. Krabs. Grab something heavy! Bar the door! Board up the windows. We've got to protect the Krusty Krab. The Krabby Patties must survive!"
"Mr. Krabs: Settle down, son. What are you all riled up about?",Bikers... coming... nasty... ferocious... take... over... town. Destroy... must hide!
Mr. Krabs: What are you going on about? Bikers?,"The Wild Ones are coming, Mr. Krabs. They're the most vicious, ravenous horde of hooligans in the sea."
"Mr. Krabs: Ravenous did you say? That's another word for hungry, isn't it?  Welcome Wild Ones! They'll be drawn here like a sailor at a tattoo parlor. With the special biker parking and authentic biker decor, with real bloodstains. And to top it off, a custom chopper patty. And best of all, I'll raise me prices 150%. I'll make a fortune.","Mr. Krabs, this is serious!"
Mr. Krabs: That kid needs a vacation -- unpaid of course.,Squidward!
"Squidward: Yes, SpongeBob?","A horrible biker gang called the Wild Ones are coming. We've got to run, hide!"
"Squidward:  Oh, my. This sounds serious. Luckily, I know just what you should do. Listen closely.",Uh-huh.
Squidward: Get a good grip on your pants.  Turn around.,"Like this, Squidward?"
Squidward: That's it.,Patrick!
"Patrick: Hello, SpongeBob.","Patrick, an evil gang of bikers are coming to ravage Bikini Bottom."
Patrick:  Huh.,"Patrick, didn't you hear what I said?"
"Patrick: Oh, I heard you. But what didn't hear was a hello.","Hello, Patrick."
"Patrick: Hello, SpongeBob.  Bloodthirsty bikers! Ah! We got to hide! Giant Clam #2: Hey, what happened to you? Giant Clam #1:  I... I don't want to talk about it, man. Patrick:  Hide me!","No, hide me!"
Patrick:  Hide me!,Me!
"Patrick:  No, me!",Me!
Patrick:  Me!,Me!
Patrick: No! No more running.,What?
Patrick: Those bikers think they're so tough. With their leather hats  and their leather pants.,Their leather socks.
"Patrick: If we dressed up like that, then we'd be the big, scary bikers and they'd be little baby doody-heads.","Say that again, Patrick."
Patrick: Little baby doody-heads?,"No, no, not that part. The part about dressing up like big, scary bikers.  What do you think, Patrick? Do I look tough?"
Patrick: I wouldn't mess with ya.,"Nor I with you, my friend. Let's ride.  Fear not. There is no need to panic. The Bikini Bottom bad boys are here."
"Harold: Ooh, I feel protected now. Scooter: Those are some mean looking rides, dudes.","Patrick, it's working. They think we're... vicious bikers.  Bikini Bottom, your salvation is here."
Patrick:  See?,"Patrick, that's your salivation."
Patrick: Oh.,"So, Squidward, are you ready to do your part?"
Squidward: Does that part include laughing at you? ‘Cause you two look even more idiotic than usual.,Don't we look vicious and bloodthirsty?
Patrick: I'm bloodthirsty. See?  Want some?,"Oh, no thank you, Patrick. I'm drinking diet blood.  See, Squidward? We walk the walk, but can we talk the talk? Do you want to join our biker gang?"
"Squidward: No, I don't. Patrick: What about our biker club? Squidward: No.",How about our biker organization?
"Squidward: No! I don't want to join your biker alliance, your outfits, or your fellowships.",What about our coalition?
"Patrick: Ooh, I don't know. That one's pretty exclusive.","We'll just pencil you down as undecided.  Hi, Mr. Krabs. We're the Bikini Bottom bad boys and we're bad to the bone."
Mr. Krabs: This'll be great. Those bikers can work up an appetite beating you up in the parking lot. Then they can fill up on delicious Krabby Patties then they can beat you up again.,"Please, Mr. Krabs. We're going to run off those bikers and save the Krusty Krab."
Mr. Krabs: You're not running off any of me paying customers. You can stay and get beat up in the parking lot if you wish.,Then can we save the town?
Squidward: Has it ever crossed your mind that you might be getting all worked up over nothing?,"Squidward, when have I ever been known to over-react?  Squidward! We're out of napkins!  Out of napkins!  Squidward! I accidentally removed the Do Not Remove by Penalty of Law tag on my mattress! Hide me! Hide me!  Squidward! Squidward! I've gone blind!  Oh. Thanks, Squidward."
"Squidward: SpongeBob, you always over-react to everything. It's one of your many annoying traits.","Me? Annoying?  Yeah, right."
"Squidward: You are so wrong about everything, SpongeBob, that the only thing that I am completely sure about is that there is no motorcycle gang headed this way.  What was that? Mr. Krabs: Ahoy there, mateys. Motorized vehicles headed over the horizon. Squidward: What?  Gimme that.  Don't just stand there, save us!","Patrick, I know this looks like the end, but you and I can get through anything. As long as we do it together.  Patrick? Patrick!  Well, it's just you and me, Squidward. But I want you to know that we can get through this. As long as we..."
"Squidward: Panic! Run for your lives!  The Wild Ones are coming! Lenny: The Wild Ones?  Mable, get the kids! Charlie: Honey, I got the napkins. Oh, what have I missed this time? Squidward:  Please don't kill me. I want to join you. It's been my life-long dream to be to be a member of a motorcycle gang. I even knitted my own Wild Ones jacket.  I want to ride to live and live to ride.  I'll do whatever you want. I'll betray my friends and neighbors. Just let me live. Biker #1: What's that, missy? Biker #2: What? Biker #1: Howdy, we're the Mild Ones.",Mild Ones?  Oh!
"Biker #1: Gimme back my M. Let's go, boys. Mr. Krabs: Don't you want to spend any money? Biker #1: Don't you want to kiss the seat of my pants? Let's ride.","Goodbye. They seem really nice. Hey, where's Squidward?"
Squidward: Woo-hoo-hoo!  Ride to live and live to ride!,Mmm! Isn't this salt water taffy just tafflicious?
Patrick: Mmm! Stickerific! Patrick: Oww!,"What's the matter, Patrick?"
Patrick: I have a headache inside of my tooth!,Maybe you should do something about that.
"Patrick: Okay, I will!",How does that help?
"Patrick: Well, now that my all over hurts, I'm not thinking about my mouth.  Ow! I guess that didn't work!","That's it! I'm taking you to the dentist, Patrick."
Patrick: No way! I've heard horror stories!,"Oh, don't worry, Patrick. Dentists are our friends.  Huh? Patrick? Patrick? Oh."
Carnie: And we have a winner.,Thank you!
"Patrick: Aww, darn it.","Oh boy! Aren't dentist offices fun?  Oh, they've got colorful wooden beads on wires!  Whoa, look at it go!"
"Patrick: Slow down, SpongeBob! This place is scary enough without you going crazy with the beads! Radio announcer: And that was the Incidentals with the startling number called Dramatic Music Stings. Coming up, here's the Spookers with the haunting little tune called Ominous. Agnes: Patrick Star, we're ready for you now.","Aww, come on, Patrick.  The doctor will fix you right up."
"Agnes: Sit here, please. Dr. Mundane will be right with you. Dr. Mundane: Agnes, please turn down that radio. Dr. Mundane: I'm Dr. Beige Mundane. You must be Patrick Star. What seems to be the problem? Patrick: No problem. I was just leaving.","No, Patrick! Sit! Good boy. Ow!"
"Dr. Mundane: Let's take a look in your mouth. Open wide, please. Dr. Mundane: Mm-hmm. I see the problem. Your friend here still has a baby tooth.","Oh, I wanna see! Aww. Coochie coo!"
"Patrick: I still have a baby tooth? Dr. Mundane: Yes.  And the pain is coming from your adult tooth trying to push your baby tooth out of the way. Patrick:  That's not right! Dr. Mundane: It's the natural way of things.  If you want the pain to go away, then I need to extract the tooth. Patrick: You leave my baby tooth alone, you monster!","Patrick, come back!"
Patrick: Nobody's gonna tell me what to do with my baby tooth! This tooth is staying in my mouth!,"Okay, Patrick. But that means your tooth won't be going to Tooth Island."
Patrick: Tooth Island?,Yeah! Tooth Island! It's where the Tooth Fairy takes all the baby teeth that are left under pillows. Tooth Island is a wonderful place where teeth can be free! They can soak in the calcium pools all day or sleep in the comfort of the pink gum trees. They get to swing on floss vines and never ever have to worry about cavities.
"Baby teeth: Hey, come on over! Come on!","Of course, I guess your baby tooth could be happy in your mouth all alone by itself."
"Patrick: I don't care, SpongeBob! I know what's best for my tooth! I can make it happy. Patrick: ♪Rock a bye baby on the treetop♪ Patrick: Oops. Patrick: Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!","Hmm. My friendship sense is tingling. Patrick must be in trouble. What's the matter, pal?"
"Patrick:  Nothing! Just, uh, practicing being a seal! Patrick: Ow!","Patrick, Dr. Mundane always says, If you can't bite, things ain't right."
"Patrick: Okay, SpongeBob. I guess I have to get my tooth to the Tooth Fairy. Squidward: Ha! You rube. There's no such thing as a Tooth Fairy.",Squidward!
Squidward: It's all a bunch of made-up baloney.,It is not baloney!
"Squidward: It is baloney! Patrick: Who's got baloney? Squidward:  There is no baloney! Just like there is no Tooth Fairy. In fact, if you could prove there were a Tooth Fairy, I would eat, oh, a bucket of chum! SpongeBob and Patrick: Eew!","Squidward, why would you want to do that?"
"Squidward: I said I would, only if there was a Tooth Fairy, and since there isn't a Tooth Fairy, I will never have to eat a bucket of chum.","Patrick, I've been your friend for a long time. I would never lie to you. You need Dr. Mundane's help so you could get your tooth to the Tooth Fairy."
"Patrick: That's okay, SpongeBob. I think I can manage.","You see, Patrick? We have got to get that tooth out."
Patrick: You'll have to catch me first!,"Patrick, wait!"
"Squidward: Ha, ha! Tooth Fairy! What a couple of molar morons! Patrick: The worms! Patrick: Not wanted. That fixes it. Old Lady: Mipsey, Pipsey, you bad girls! You get back on this leash! Patrick: You may have called off your worms, but I'm not coming down!","Patrick, they weren't mine."
Patrick: A likely story!,"Patrick, can I show you something?"
Patrick: What's that?,"It's a scrapbook of all my baby teeth.  Ha. That was a good one. I remember every tooth. Even though they're no longer in my mouth, I still keep the memory of them in my heart."
Patrick:  I thought you kept them in the scrapbook!,"Patrick, don't you think your baby tooth wants to see all his old friends on Tooth Island?"
"Old Lady: Don't listen to him! I still have all my baby teeth and look at me! Patrick: Okay, SpongeBob. We can go. Patrick: I'm ready, Doc. Do what you have to do. Dr. Mundane: I'm done. Patrick: That's it? Dr. Mundane: That's it. Patrick: You're going under my pillow so you can go to Tooth Island my sweet boy! Patrick: SpongeBob? Squidward:  Ha! I was right! The Tooth Fairy isn't real! Patrick: Oh, SpongeBob!","Patrick, you don't understand! I'm just helping to get your tooth to the Tooth Fairy!"
"Squidward: Oh, that's a good one.",It's true!
"Patrick: How can I believe you? All the lies!  The chicanery! Squidward:  Look at how betrayed Patrick feels! Oh, this was totally worth staying up all night.","You don't believe there's a Tooth Fairy? Well, follow me and I'll show ya. Behold, the Tooth Ferry! This is where parents and friends take teeth so they can be ferried to Tooth Island."
Patrick: There really is a Tooth Ferry!,Of course.
Ferry Worker: All aboard! Baby Tooth:  Hello!,"Oh, here. This is yours."
Patrick: Could you wait 'til I'm asleep and put it under my pillow?,"Mm, sure Patrick. Anything for a pal."
"Patrick: Hey! Where do you think you're going, chum chewer? Squidward: Hey, come on! This is just a big misunderstanding! Ferry, fairy: They're two different words that just happen to sound alike!","Open wide, Squidward!"
Squidward: No.,"Patrick! Patrick! Oh, Patrick! Are you ready to go jellyfishing?"
"Patrick: Oh, boy, am I!","Here's your net.  Well, come on, Patrick! The jellyfish don't catch themselves."
"Patrick: First, I have to put away my secret box.",Secret box? You never told me about your... secret box!
"Patrick: Hey, hands off, PeepingBob! This here is my secret box! Besides, if I showed you what was inside, it wouldn't be a secret anymore. Duh!  Oh, SpongeBob… if only you could see what's inside my secret box, it would change your life!","It's okay, Patrick, I know all about secrets."
Patrick: You do?,I've got a gazillion secrets!
Patrick: Like what?,"Well, it's not a secret that the best thing about a secret is secretly telling someone your secret, thereby secretly adding another secret to their secret collection of secrets. Secretly. You wanna hear one of my secrets?"
Patrick: Do I?,Uhh... Let's see...  Did you know that you're my best friend?
"Patrick: No... way. Oh, let's hear another one!",Okay. Uhh... Secretly... I'm a little bit naïve.
"Patrick: Wow! I'll never look at you the same way again, SpongeBob. Gosh.  Tell me some more secrets!","Okay. I love my job at the Krusty Krab, I sleep with my shoes on, I like jelly on both sides of my toast, I've got an overdue library book, I think jellyfishing and bubble-blowing are the...  ...overbite. I've never been late for work, I've said the word fancy in conversation, I like to dance to loading zone announcements, I still don't have my driver's license. I'm a little bit on the short side. And I'm wearing three pairs of underwear, right now."
Patrick: Gasp. I never would have guessed.,Now will you show me what's inside your secret box?
"Patrick: No, SpongeBob! It's for me to know and for you to never find out. You may be an open book, SpongeBob, but I'm a bit more complicated than that. The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma.","Oh, yeah?! Well, I got plenty of secret stuff, too! Uh…  I've got my secret socks on.  And my secret Gary's bowl!  My secret TV!  And my secret TV channel.  What do you think of that, Patrick? Patrick?"
"Patrick:  Maybe if you saw what was inside, you'd know why it has to be secret.  Inside this very box is the most secret-y secret of all of secret-dom and I am it's sole witness! It's a heavy burden, SpongeBob, but nobody must know the mystery of the box.  Nobody! Not even… Squidward's house.  It's a full-time job. I'm constantly on the alert. You never know when someone's gonna…  SpongeBob! What do you think you're doing?! That's my secret box! Now, hand it over!","But, Patrick, I must know the secret!"
"Patrick:  For the last time, SpongeBob, no!","Come on, Patrick, just a peek?"
"Patrick: Never!  So, it's come to this. And to think that we joined the Best Friends Forever Club!  Listen up, SpongeBob SecretStealerPants!  If you ever come close to my secret box again, we won't be friends anymore!","But... we're supposed to be...  friends forever.  I feel so filthy!  I have soiled our friendship garden! I just couldn't help myself!  I know it's your secret! I promise to respect that! Oh, please forgive me, Patrick! Please!"
"Patrick: Well... I guess it's not all your fault. After all, this is a pretty great secret. I mean, how could you resist the greatest secret ever?  The most amazing...  mysterious... powerful secret in all Bikini Bottom.","So, what do you say, buddy? Friends?"
Patrick: Friends.,"What could be in that box that Patrick doesn't want me to see? Maybe it's the world's only albino jellyfish!  Or maybe Patrick's a master jewel thief and it's full of diamonds.  Or maybe Patrick's a deranged maniac who keeps his victims' severed heads in a box.  Or even worse! Maybe it's an embarrassing snapshot of me from the Christmas party!  I've gotta find out what's in that secret box! I'm not gonna rest until I do!  That's it! How do you look in a secret box?  Secretly, of course! I'll just take the box while Patrick's sleeping, look in that box, and before Patrick even has time to notice, I'll slide it back.  Patrick won't know when I'll have my own little secret. Good idea, eh, Gary?"
Gary: Meeh… No.,"Oh, what do you know? You're a snail!"
Patrick:  Seee... cret.,I got to be more quiet. I don't want to wake Patrick up.
Patrick: Duh... who's there?,Shhh!
"Patrick: Eh?!  Who's that?!  Mmm... water.  Good old secret box. Let's see what's inside.  Nighty-night, boxie.","Gee, Patrick sure is a heavy sleeper."
Patrick: Huh? Who said that?! Who's there?!,Uh…
"Patrick: It's the Clam Burglar! And he's stealing my secret box!  Hand over the goods, Secret Box Bandit, and prepare for the most unpleasant pillow fight of your life!","Wait, wait, wait, Patrick! Stop!  It's me, SpongeBob!"
"Patrick:  Nice try, burglar, but SpongeBob's my best friend, and he'd never steal from me.","No, really, Patrick! Look!"
"SpongeBob and Patrick BFF Ring: It's the Best Friends Forever, Best Friends Forever Ring! Patrick: Our friendship ring! It is you!  How could you do thi-i-i-i-is?!?","If it makes you feel any better, I haven't looked inside."
"Patrick:  That's it, SpongeBob! You have crossed the line. As of right now, this friendship is over!",Really?
"Patrick: Nahhh, you can look inside it if you really want to.","Okay! Oh, this is one the most exciting moments of my life! Well, here it goes!  Huh?"
"Patrick: Well, didn't I tell ya?  Isn't it great?",It's just a string.
Patrick: A secret string!,"Boy, when you're right, you're right! That's some secret box you've got there! Yeah! Thanks for showing me that!  Well, good night, Patrick. See you tomorrow!"
"Patrick: Good night, SpongeBob!",I should've known! It was just a piece of string all along!  Wait 'till I tell Gary!
"Patrick:  Good thing he didn't pull the secret string, opening the...  ...secret compartment of my secret box...  ...revealing one embarrassing snapshot of SpongeBob at the Christmas Party!  Merry Christmas, SpongeBob! Narrator: Ah, Goo Lagoon, a luxurious oasis of sand and sea. Sandy: Shee-oot, SpongeBob. How are we gonna go swimmin' when you're in a shirt and tie?","Ah, yes. How foolish of me.  Allow me to remedy said situation right now. I will just use this changing tent here to change into my bathing suit.  And I won't do anything else."
Sandy: SpongeBob's actin' jumpier than a rattlesnake in a pickle barrel. Wait... what?,"Oh, I'll be changing, alright, but not into a bathing suit. Wait until Sandy sees that I brought my karate gear! Hi-yah!  Hi-yah!  Sandy won't beat me this time, because I've got the elements on my side. The elements of surprise. Hi-yah!"
"Sandy: SpongeBob, are you ready?","Yes, Sandy, I most certainly am ready!  Ready to get it on.  Hi..."
"Sandy: Hi-yah!  Look, SpongeBob, we both brought our karate gear.","Great minds think alike, I suppose."
Sandy: Hi-yah!,"I may be down, but I'm not out!"
"Tom: Way to go, buddy. It took us three days to make that potato salad.  Three days!",Hi-yah! Sandy?
"Sandy: Oh, I'm Sandy, alright.  I'm very Sandy.  Hi-yah!","Oh, I get it. She's Sandy. That's her name; she's also covered in... yes!"
"Sandy: Back in Texas, we call ice cream frozen cow juice. Excuse me for a sec. Hi-yah!  Thank you. Ice Cream Vendor: No, no, thank you. Sandy: Hi-yah! Tough Fish #1:  Who threw that piece of paper at me? Sandy: Hey, what's everybody waitin' in line for? Tough Fish #1: Ahoy, fair lass, it be the line to get into the Salty Spitoon —  the roughest, toughest sailor club ever to be built under the seven seas. Only the baddest of the bad can get in. You need to have muscles.  You need to have muscles on your muscles.  You need to have muscles on your eyeballs!",Ew.
"Sandy: Looks like a rip-snortin' good time, SpongeBob!","Yeah, let's go in."
"Reg:  Go ahead.  Welcome to the Salty Spitoon. How tough are ya? Tough Fish #1: How tough am I? How tough am I?! I had a bowl of nails for breakfast this morning! Reg: Yeah, so? Tough Fish #1: Without any milk. Reg: Uhh, right this way, sorry to keep you waiting.  Welcome to the Salty Spitoon. How tough are ya? Sandy: How tough am I?",Wow.
"Sandy: Got any more tattoos? Reg: Uhh, that won't be necessary. Go ahead. Sandy: Thanks. See ya inside, SpongeBob! Reg: How tough are ya?",How tough am I? You got a new bottle of ketchup?
Reg: Sure.,It's on!  If I could just run this under some hot water...
"Reg: Get outta here. This place is too tough for you, little man.","Too tough for me? That's downright ridiculous. I'll have you know I stubbed my toe last week while watering my spice garden, and I only cried for twenty minutes."
"Reg: Listen, kid. I think you'd be more comfortable over at that place.",Weenie Hut Jr's? Are you saying I belong in Weenie Hut Jr's?
"Reg: Uhh. Oh, no, sorry, I was actually pointing at the place next to it.",Super Weenie Hut Jr's?
"Reg: Yeah. Unless you think you're tough enough to fight me. Nerd #1: How's your collection coming along? Nerd #2: Well, I don't mean to brag, but it's pretty sweet. I'm in the process of acquiring issue 347 which will give me my fourth complete set. Nerd #1: No...","What weenies. Oh, brother."
"Robot:  Would you care for another diet cola with a lemon twist, weenie?",What? But I'm not a weenie!
"Robot: I'm sorry, sir, but my sensors indicate that you are indeed a weenie.",That's impossible!
Robot: You can't hide what's inside.,I demand entrance into your club on the grounds that I am not a weenie!
"Tough Fish #4: Hey, Reg, how's it going? Reg: You were sayin'?  Go ahead, buddy. Tough Fish #4: Thanks, Reg.","So, your name's Reg?"
Reg:  Would you get outta here?,"Mark my words, Reg. I will get into the Salty Spitoon! I will!"
"Nerd #1: Couldn't get in, huh? What you need is a tough hairdo. No one gets into the Double S without a tough hairdo. Nerd #2: I disagree, I saw a guy going in there and he was bald. Nerd #1: I saw that guy. He wasn't bald. He had a shaved head. Shaved — that's a hairdo. Case closed.  Hey, where'd he go? Robot: I believe he said something about going to the wig store. Nerd #1: Ha-ha! Check and mate. Drifter: What's shakin', my man? Reg: Not much. Say, haven't I seen you before? Drifter: Doubt it — I'm a drifter — just blew into town. Heard your club was pretty tough, thought I'd check it out. Reg: Nice try, kid. I know it's you. Drifter: What're you talking about? Reg: Aha!","Hey, everybody, what's goin' on?"
"Reg: Ah, you can go in. Sorry about that.  Well, what do you want?","I'd like to gain entrance to your social club, please. I believe my hairdo is in order.  So, uh, where do you stand on the whole bald vs. shaved debate?"
"Tough Fish #5: Hey-ya, Reg. Reg: Alright, now it's a party! Oh, yeah, check out the new ink. Tough Fish #5: Thanks. Hey, look what I can make it do. Reg:  Yeah. Hey, what about that one? Tough Fish #5: Huh, you know, I don't remember getting this one. Reg: Can you make it dance? Tough Fish #5: Well, here, let me try. Reg: Hmmm, wait a minute.  Go ahead in. Tough Fish #5: Yeah, sure, Reg. Thanks. Reg: Nice try, little man. Tough Fish #6: Hey, I was in front of you! Tough Fish #7: No, you weren't! Tough Fish #6: You callin' me a liar? Tough Fish #7: I ain't callin' you for dinner! Reg: Hold it, you two! That's enough, you're both plenty tough, go ahead in. Tough Fish #6: Alright! Tough Fish #7: Thanks, Reg.","Hey, what about me? I was in that scrap."
"Reg:  I saw you runnin'. When you get in a real fight, then we'll talk.","Well, then, I guess it's time to take it up a notch."
"Robot: Care for another sundae, weenie?",I am not a weenie!
"Nerd #1: Relax, you're among friends.",My friends don't hang out at Weenie Hut Jr's.
"Patrick: You tell 'em, SpongeBob!","Patrick, what're you doing here?"
"Patrick: I'm always here on Double Weenie Wednesdays. Nerd #1: Actually, they moved Double Weenie Wednesday to Friday. Nerd #2: And besides, today's Monday. Patrick: Oh, so it's Mega Weenie Monday? Nerd #1: Uhh, that's now on Sunday. Patrick: Barnacles! Nerd #2: Super Weenie Hut Jr's has a Mega Weenie Monday. Nerd #1: Uhh, no, you're thinking of Monster Weenie Monday.",I don't have time for this! I've got to go pick a fight with a muscular stranger! It's the only way of getting into the Salty Spitoon!
"Patrick: No, SpongeBob, you can't. It's too dangerous.",I've got no choice.
"Robot: I have a suggestion. Why not fake a fight? Patrick: Hey, that's not a bad idea! You can call me a couple of bad names, we rumble, next thing you know, you're in the Salty Spitoon.","Well, I guess I've got nothing to lose. Let's do it!"
"Patrick: Yeah! Nerd #1: Hey, how come you never help us out with our problems? Robot: I am a robot, not a miracle worker.","Afternoon, Reg."
"Reg: Whoa, whoa, little man. You still can't go in.","Well, that makes me pretty mad."
Reg: Oh yeah?,Yeah. I might have to beat someone up just to get rid of all this blind fury.
Reg:  Wow.,"Yeah, I feel pretty sorry for the next guy who looks at me funny."
Reg: Hmmm... what about that guy?,"I, uh...  don't be silly. He's not botherin' anybody. I mean, not like... that guy!"
"Patrick: Who, me?","Yeah, you. Standing there all smiling and whatnot. Somebody oughta teach you some manners!"
"Patrick: Okay, but I must warn you. I happen to be a world championship... uhh...  ...kickboxer.","I don't care if you're the demon seed of Davy Jones! You're goin' down, Tubby!"
Patrick: Tubby?  Grr! Nobody calls me Tubby!,"Wait, Patrick, you're supposed to let me win, remember?"
"Patrick: Oh yeah.  No, please wait.  No, please, have mercy! Reg: Wow! You destroyed that guy without even touchin' him.",I did?
"Reg: I never thought I'd say this, but go ahead in.","Really? I can go in? Oh, my gosh, I never thought this moment would come! I, SpongeBob SquarePants, am tough enough to get into the Salty Spitoon! This is the happiest day of my life!  Sandy?  What happened?"
Sandy: You ran inside and slipped on an ice cube. Doctor: What happened?,I slipped on an ice cube and got covered in boo-boos.
"Doctor: Boo-boos, eh? Hmmm... I think you guys want that hospital.",Weenie Hut General?
"Fred: A horn! Frankie Billy: What will happen next? Mr. Krabs: Atten--  Attention, Krusty Krab  patrons! Behold! Fred: It's a jar of seeds! Frankie Billy: Bun seeds! Mr. Krabs: Today only, the Krusty Krab presents our first annual bun seed guessing contest!  Guess how many seeds are in the jar and win a f-- f-- sorry, a f-- f-- I'll try again. A f-- f--  free Krabby Patty! Sally, Dennis Rechid, Paco, Debbie Rechid, and Harold Bill Reginald: Ooh! Mr. Krabs: Step right up!  Guess right and win!  They'll never guess it. Fred: Hmm. Three? Mr. Krabs: No. Next, please. Nat: 42?! Mr. Krabs:  Nope. Dave: Billions and billions? Mr. Krabs: N-n-no. Suzy Fish: Blue? Mr. Krabs: No. Dennis Rechid: Mermaid Man? Mr. Krabs:  That's not even a number. Voice: I have a guess. Mr. Krabs: Plankton!  You don't get to guess. Plankton: Hey!  What? You can't do that! It's not fair! Mr. Krabs: Oh, I'm sorry, but it's me restaurant and I can do what I please! Besides, I know you'll try to analyze that patty and find out me secret formuler. Plankton: You'll pay for this, Krabs! I'm calling the Bogus Business Bureau! Mr. Krabs: Yeah, right. Like they would even take your call. Bogus Business Bureau Receptionist: Bogus Business Bureau. Plankton: Hello, yes. I have a complaint. Mr. Krabs: That Plankton cracks me up. Like the Bogus Business Bureau would care about my dumb contest. Agent Twirp: I am Agent Twirp of the Bogus  Business Bureau.  Are you the proprietor of this...  establishment? Mr. Krabs: Eh, uh, no. He's out of town.","Don't be modest, Mr. Krabs.  He's responsible for everything at the Krusty Krab."
"Mr. Krabs: New trainee. Agent Twirp: According to article 57 of the Greasy Spoon Code, all fast food contests must be open to all customers, no matter how diminutive or annoying. Plankton: And I'm both of those things! You have to let me guess now,  Krabs! Mr. Krabs: I'm won't do it!  And you can't make me. Agent Twirp: If you refuse, I'll  shut down the Krusty Krab. Mr. Krabs: Oh, fine! Plankton: This round goes to Plankton!","Golly, Mr. Krabs, what if Plankton guesses right and wins a  Krabby Patty?"
"Mr. Krabs: No worries. That nitwit Plankton hasn't got a chance. Plankton: Hmm.  There are exactly five hundred thousand...  Three hundred... Mr. Krabs: Oh, he's getting close. Plankton: ...And one! Mr. Krabs: Wrong! It's five hundred thousand three hundred and none! You are one over the mark. You lose. Agent Twirp: Hold on! It's not official unless you count them. Plankton: Yeah! French Narrator: A lot of boring math later... Mr. Krabs: 500298, 500299, 500300.  I win! Plankton: Eh!","Hold on. There's something on the lid. You missed a bun seed, Mr. Krabs! Plankton was-- right."
"Plankton: YES! Agent Twirp: I now command you to give Mr. Plankton his prize. Plankton: You heard him, Krabs. Give me a Krabby Patty. Mr. Krabs: I can't. Plankton: What?! Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob needs to clean the grill first.",I cleaned it this morning.
Mr. Krabs: Doesn't your spatula need aligning or something?,"Nope, she's perfectly aligned."
"Mr. Krabs: Drat your efficiency! Uh, oh, yeah!  I can't serve you your Patty until after the show! Plankton: What show? Mr. Krabs: The show that comes with a free Krabby Patty.  See? Plankton: Oh, come on! Are you kidding me? Agent Twirp: It clearly says, and a show. I'll allow it. Plankton: Drat! Plankton: Is this part of  the show? Mr. Krabs: No, this is isn't part of the show. Agent Twirp: Mm, such lovely filigree, wouldn't you agree? Plankton: Ugh.",Puppets!
"Mr. Krabs: Once upon a time, there was a happy Patty Laddie. Patty Laddie: La la la la la la la la! Mr. Krabs: He was beloved by all the good-hearted people in the world. Alas, there is also a villain in this story, by the name of  Pla-- Flankton!",Boo! Hiss!
"Mr. Krabs: So, one day, when the lad was minding his own business, Flankton struck and took a huge bite out of the Laddie's face! Mr. Krabs: Ahh, My face! Ahhhhhhhh, My face! Plankton: Okay, we get it already! Mr. Krabs: Unfortunately for Flankton,  the Patty didn't sit well with him. And he was so evil, it caused him to bloat something fierce...  ...until eventurally he popped!  The end. Plankton:  Oh, bravo. Bravo. Why does the puppet get to eat a Krabby Patty and I don't? And why aren't you in the kitchen cooking my patty? Mr. Krabs: Alright, SpongeBob, we can't stall him any longer. Make a good one, laddie. This may be the last Patty you'll ever cook.","I'll do my best, sir."
"Mr. Krabs:  Psst. I got a plan. You keep that blasted bureaucrat busy. Squidward: Uh, excuse me, Mr. Agent, sir. While we're waiting, perhaps I could direct your attention to-- oh, to the many code violations you'll find  if you turn this way. It's a death trap. Mr. Krabs: There we go.  Ooh, that takes care of that.  And in three, two, one.",Mr. Krabs!
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob.,"Mr. Krabs, it's awful! We're all out of buns!"
Mr. Krabs: No buns? Drat the luck! Truck Driver: Got a delivery for the Krusty Krab. Where do you want us to put these buns?,"Huh, good thing I ordered us extra b-- for the contest crowd."
"Plankton: Finally! At long last, the Krabby Patty is mine! Go ahead and wrap that up, son. I'll take it to go.",One Krabby Patty to go.   Here you are.
"Mr. Krabs: Oh, no, you don't!  You have to eat it on the premises.  Them's the rules. Plankton: Yeah, that's what it says. Mr. Krabs: So? Plankton: Okay, okay. I will!  I bid you good day, sir. Mr. Krabs: You gotta swallow it here on the premises. Plankton: Oh, come on. Agent Twirp: I'll allow it. Plankton: Fine!  Can I go now? Plankton: Karen, quick! You gotta cut this Krabby Patty out of me, stat! Karen: But what about anesthetic? Plankton: There's no time! I can feel it digesting! Karen: Whatever you say, dear. Hold still.  This may pinch a little.","Uh, Mr. Krabs?"
"Mr. Krabs: What is it, lad?",Take a look.
"Plankton: Keep it moving, nice and orderly. Hey, Eugene! You want a free Krabby Patty? Just guess how many customers I can fit into the Chum Bucket! Abigail Marge: I feel terrible! The Krabby Patty takes like stomach acid! Henry-Bart: Yeah, and it tastes like aspirin and carrots!  Ugh! Get it off! Get it off! Plankton: Wait, come back! Oh, come on, Karen, what happened? Karen: I just did what you asked.  I analyzed the contents of your stomach and used them to synthesize a  Krabby Patty. Mr. Krabs: It warms me heart to see that little twerp fail. Okay, boyo, fun time's over.  Now go fish them buns out of the toilet. Oh, yeah,  and put these seeds back on 'em.",That's my Krabs!
"Squidward: Ah, how I have dreamed of this day. Mr. Tentacles, Professor of Art. What a marvelous opportunity for the people of Bikini Bottom. Bring me your huddle masses of bored house wives and I will shape them into my image.  I'll go down in history. Someday, there will be a wing with my name on it in all the museums of the world! Janitor: Dude, you're teaching art at the Rec Center. Calm down. Squidward: Uncultured trash urchin. 9 A.M. Time to let the class in. Well, don't want to keep them waiting any longer!  Welcome to art class!! Nat: Oh, isn't this cooking? Sorry...","Hi, Squidward! Are you taking this art class, too?"
Squidward: SpongeBob!? In art class? WAIT! THIS IS COOKING! COME BACK! You gotta be kidding!,"This is great! You and me in school together. So, where's the teacher?"
Squidward: You're looking at him.,"You... are the teacher? To my pupil?! This isn't art class, it's Heaven."
Squidward: Yeah. Grab a little piece of Heaven and let's get with it.,"I'm ready, Mr. Tentacles."
"Squidward: So, you wanna be an artist, eh, SpongeBob?","Yes, please."
"Squidward: Well, art is not all fun and games.  It's a lot of hard...  ...work. Okay. First, repeat after me: I have no talent.",I have no talent.
Squidward: Mr. Tentacles has all the talent.,Mr. Tentacles has all the talent.
"Squidward: If I'm lucky, some of Mr. Tentacle's talent may rub off on me.","If I'm lucky, Mr. Talent will rub his tentacles on my art."
"Squidward: Whatever. Okay. Since you're telling me you have no prior training, we'll have to start from square one. Or should I say  circle one.  Am I going too fast for you, SpongeBob?","How's this, Squidward?"
Squidward: What the? How the? A perfect circle? Do it again. Show your process.,"Well, first I draw this head.  Then I erase some of the more detailed features. And one, two, three. A circle, uhh, thingy."
Squidward: Gimme that.  Forget the circles.,"Ooh, nice one Squidward. Let me try.  Looky, Squidward. It's you and me playing leapfrog! That's you on the bottom."
"Squidward: Gimme that.  There is nothing artistic about leapfrog!  What are you doing, now?","I call it: Rippy Bits. You take a bunch of old ripped up paper, and make a new picture out of it. See? You're on top...this...time..."
"Squidward: Do you want to learn art, or not?","I'm sorry, Squidward, I'll listen."
"Squidward: Alright, SpongeBob, pay close attention. Look at your marble. Visualize the sculpture within. Then, gently...",How's this Squidward?
"Squidward:  It's beautiful.  I mean... this isn't a sculpture.  A good sculpture takes... more time! You can't just sculpt Willie-Nillie. You've got to go by the book. Follow the rules.  Otherwise, you'll never get passed Amateur Hour, here. Besides, you've got the nose wrong.  There, now it's art.","Ohhh, it's so obvious. I would've never thought of that. I'm sorry, Squidward. I came here to learn and I arrogantly shoved your lessons.  I'll never be a great artist like you! I don't deserve your tutoring. I don't deserve to be in your presence.  I don't even deserve to use your doors!"
"Monty: Hello, there!","But I did deserve that.  I deserved that, too.  And I deserve this!"
"Monty: Good day, sir! Squidward: Sorry, class dismissed. You're too late. Monty: Oh, I beg your pardon, but I've forgotten my manners. My name is Monty P. Moneybags. Squidward: The world famous art collector? Monty: The one and only. Squidward: Well, what are you doing here? Monty: I'm on a shopping spree. Buying art for my new museum. Squidward: Your search is over. I am Bikini Bottom's greatest artiste. I call this one: Squidward en repose. Monty: I, uh, don't think that will fit in with the other pieces in my collection. Squidward: Why not? Monty: Because. It's an art collection! Squidward: How about this one? I call it: Bold and Brash. Monty: More like: Belongs in the Trash! Janitor: Sorry. I must've missed that one. Monty: Maybe I should be... huh? What is that?! Squidward: Wait, wait. That's not uh, uh... Monty: Angelic form, amazing detail, perfect censorship! This is the work of a true genius. Hello? What this? This is the only flaw.  Ahh, that's more like it. I simply must find the artist responsible. He shall have fame... Squidward: Fame! Monty: ...fortune... Squidward: Fortune! Monty: ...anything his heart desires! Squidward: Anything?!?!  It's me! It's me! I'm responsible! Monty: I can see it now. Your name in the world's most prestigious museums. I'm gonna make you, immortal! Now, uh, help me get this in the car. Squidward: I could use a little help.  My fame! My fortune! My hair! Monty: Well, that's a bit a bad luck right there. But, this shouldn't be a problem for an artist of your magnitude. You can whip up another one. Squidward: Yeah, no problem. You know, between you and me, this isn't my best work. Why don't you come back tomorrow and I'll have something that will really knock your socks off. Monty: Between you and me, I'm not wearing socks. Squidward: Yeah, no socks. OK, see you tomorrow. Bye.  I gotta find SpongeBob!  SpongeBob...SpongeBob?! SpongeBob!?","Go away, Squidward. I don't deserve your kindness."
"Squidward: Hey, cheer up. I have decided to give you another chance. Why, with a great teacher like me, anything is possible.",Don't look at me Squidward. Don't look at my shame.  These hands weren't meant to create. They only destroy! I can't look at them.
"Squidward: Aww, c'mon SpongeBob. You've got yourself a pair of yellow dandies here. With my help, we'll turn them into tools of beauty.",Really?
Squidward: Really!,Really?
Squidward: Really!,Really?
Squidward: Really.,Wow...  Really?
Squidward: Let's go.,"Squidward, look. It's ol' Bold and Brash!"
"Squidward: Gimme that.  Okay, SpongeBob. Just do what you did before.",I... can't!
"Squidward: Ah, ah. Wait, wait. Let me help. Let's start with the circle again!","I did it, Squidward."
"Squidward: Huh!? But-but, what about the head...and the erasing, and the, the...?","I don't know, Squidward. That stuff's not in the book."
"Squidward: Uhh...  How about this, huh? Remember?","That's not in the book, either."
"Squidward: FORGET ABOUT THE BOOK!!!  Ha! Look at all this mess, SpongeBob!  What do all these little bits of paper make you want to do!?","Wait, I know this. Oh, wait, I think I got it!  There we go! Yeah!! Ta-da!"
"Squidward: Okay, SpongeBob. Let's just move onto the marble.","First, an artist must concentrate and visualize his concept."
Squidward: Now you've got it.,I've gotta embrace the marble!
Squidward: Right.,I've gotta sniff the marble!
"Squidward: Well, uh, okay.",I've gotta lick the marble!
Squidward: Uhh...,I've gotta wash the marble! I've gotta date the marble!  I'VE GOTTA BE THE MARBLE! I've got it! I have see the sculpture within.
"Squidward: Here you go, buddy.","With this tool, I shall give birth... to art!"
"Squidward: Oh, boy...","But, one more thing.  There. Now it's art. Well, what do you think, Squidward? Just take it all in for a moment. Let it soak in.  It looks like the excitement of my artistic triumph is too much for Squidward. Oh, well, back to the dump.  ♪To the dump, to the dump, to the dump, dump dump. To the dump, to the dump, To the dump, dump dump.♪"
"Monty: I'm here for the... what the? Who is responsible for this?! Squidward: As of now, it's his responsibility.  Good day to you, sir! Monty:  You, sir, are the greatest artist who ever lived!","Hi.  Gary, I feel funny inside. Yow! Hello. Gary, there's something inside of me."
Gary:  Meow.,"You see anything? Gary the Snail, is that any way to treat an uninvited guest? Oh, hello. Ooh! That tickles! More like prickles. Hey, I think I'll call you Prickles! I see you! Okay, okay. Enough's enough. It's time for you to go, little guy. I already have a pet—Gary. I'm afraid I just don't need another one. Aw, stop, stop! Oh, Gary, I don't want to hear the little guy cry."
Gary: Meow.,"Such a sad story. Okay, little buddy, but just for one night. Nighty-night, Prickles. Huh? Wow, a house party going on inside of me! Hey, why wasn't I invited?  I guess I was since I am the house! Look, Gary, now we have tons of prickly new friends!"
"Gary:  Meow, meow.",Wup-poo! Wup-poo! Wup-poo!
"French Narrator: 3,000 Wup-poos later...","Wup-poo! Wup-poo! Wup-poo! Wup-poo! Oh, my gosh! I completely lost all track of time! Hey, uh, sorry to be a party pooper, guys, but I've gotta take a shower and get ready for work. Guys? Guy—guys? Gary, calm down. We're all friends here. Ow!  Open up, Gary! I'm still in my underwear! Gary, I need to take a shower."
Debbie Rechid: I did not need to see that! Ugh!,"All right, I guess you guys will just have to stay and go to work with me. Just keep a low profile or I could lose my job."
"Mr. Krabs: Eh, SpongeBob. Did ya clean out the—  Sweet Dutchman's ghost!  When's the last time you took a bath, boy-o? You're riddled with vermin.","I—I d—d—don't know what you mean, sir."
"Mr. Krabs: If customers find out you're touching patties with your wormy hands, the health department will shut us down for sure.","I understand, sir. Mr. Krabs, will you excuse me for a second?  Prickles, you heard my boss. I'm sorry, but I'm gonna have to ask you and your friends to leave, please. Squatters rights? What the heck is squatters rights?"
"Mr. Krabs:  Oh, they're lawyering up, boy-o. They're makin' a legal claim to keep living in your body.","It's okay, Mr. Krabs, they're not hurting me."
"Mr. Krabs: Son, you gotta understand. I can't have you work here in your present filthy condisherin'. Mr. Krabs:  Oh! That's the last straw! Mr. Squid— Squidward: On it, sir! Hasta la vista, worm boy! Mr. Krabs: And don't come back until you're dewormed!",What am I gonna do?
"Plankton: Hey, SpongeBo— Whoa! I see you've got yourself a little problem with the cooties.","Yeah, and I lost my job over it."
"Plankton: Lost your job you say? I might be able to help you, if you can do something for me.","Anything, Plankton! Anything!"
"Plankton:  Ridding SpongeBob of his worms will put him forever in my debt. That secret formula is good as mine! Plankton: Time to crash this lousy party. Get it? Lousy? Louse? Oh, I'm good. Plankton:  You're on your own, worm boy. French Narrator: Soon after... Patrick: Hello?",You gotta help me!
Patrick: Ah! It's a monster with SpongeBob's voice!,"No, no, Patrick, wait, don't close the— Aw! Hmm? Squidward! Squidward! Squidward!  I need a hug! Does that mean no hug?"
"Squidward: There will be no hugs! Get away from me, you monstrosity!","Well, this is my life from now on, huh?  Just call me SpongeBob WormPants, cause that's all I am, just an apartment for worms! Oh, that's better. Looks like I really wormed my way out of that one."
Gary:  Meow!,"Gary, it feels so good to be worm free!"
Squidward:  SpongeBob! I need a hug! Squidward:  Let the madness begin.,It's  driving test day!
Squidward: SpongeBob!  Thanks?,"Don't wish me luck, Squidward, I don't need it.  What do you say, Mrs. Puff? Let's get this party started.  I'm sorry, Mrs. Puff, I know what I did wrong.  Don't worry, Mrs. Puff, I got it this time."
"Mrs. Puff: No, SpongeBob, not again.  Oh no! We're airborne!","Yeah. It's a good thing too. One more crash and you would've popped for sure. Here, let me take that wheel."
"Mrs. Puff: No, SpongeBob! Don't touch that! Oh, dear! .","Hey, Mrs. Puff. How are you feeling?"
"Mrs. Puff:  Oh my. What happened to me? Purple Doctorfish: I'm afraid you've had a serious accident.  It seems when you crashed, you ruptured your inflation sack. . Mrs. Puff: Oh no! Will I ever be my old self again? Purple Doctorfish:  Umm no, my dear, I'm afraid you'll never puff again. Mrs. Puff: .","Hm, from now on, I guess we'll have to call you Mrs. Pop!"
Mrs. Puff: .,Mrs. Puff! What are you doing!?
Mrs. Puff: This is all your fault!,"I'm sorry! Stop, Mrs. Puff!  That tickles!"
Mrs. Puff: Why can't you just graduate out of my life?! Oh. Ohh.. Purple Doctorfish:  There! That should help her relax.,"Sheesh! I don't know what she is so upset about!  I think she looks better this way! If I always say, it's duh doy. ."
Purple Doctorfish:  Yes. Everyone needs to relax. .,"Hello, Mrs. Puff. Are we feeling any better?"
Mrs. Puff:,I see you got the flowers I sent.
Mrs. Puff: Yes. I'm allergic to them and you!,"Ah, this room is so dark and depressing!  You need sunlight! ."
Mrs. Puff:  Ouch.,"Come on, Mrs. Puff! You need to get out of this stuffy, old room!"
Mrs. Puff: I'm not leaving this bed!  Whoa!,"Up and at 'em!  Y'know what will make you feel better, Mrs. Puff? A nice peaceful stroll! ."
Male Doctor: Clear the way! Injured coming through! .,Excuse me! Doctor! What's up with those guys?
"Purple Doctorfish: Oh, it's nothing serious. Just a caluty from this week's Demolition Derby! Come check out the carnage! It's actually quite entertaining. . Purple Doctorfish: Pretty gruesome, huh? You gotta hand it to those guys! Risking their lives for our amusement! Mrs. Puff:  Risking their lives for our amusement?  I could finally be rid of SpongeBob!  Forever! Ha ha! And I mean that in the worst possible way! .",What's so funny?
Mrs. Puff: I just thought of a way that you could earn extra credit!,Hooray!
"Mrs. Puff:  Yes, hooray indeed! . Mrs. Puff:  So what do you say Captain Lutefisk? Will you enter him in the derby? For old times sake? Captain Lutefisk: Well, Puff old girl! I wouldn't be I am today without your driving school.  But I don't know. He looks kinda soft. . Mrs. Puff: Looks can be deceiving! Observe! Here SpongeBob  Hold this. . Captain Lutefisk: Whoa-oa-oa! That kid's a natural!  But he's going to need a scarier identity. Derby's all about image!  .","Look out, extra credit! Here I come!"
"Mrs. Puff: Heh heh, yes! Extra credit! . . Captain Lutefisk: Welcome to the Bikini Bottom Demolition Derby! Allow me to introduce our contestants!  First off, fegin of crossing guards everywhere: The Kruncher!  And from the darkest depths of the brivin' blue: Divin' Bell Dale!  And of course, you know and admire: Blow Torch!  And the funniest driver of all: The Cackling Cruiser! (The Cackling Crusier laughs) Now with introductions out of the way......Oh! I almost forgot! (Laughs) The Squish! The Kruncher: Hey, Le Squish looks pretty tough.  Maybe we should give up now. . Captain Lutefisk: Ok drivers! Start yer engines! And let the destruction begin! . . Mrs. Puff: I can't look! Wait, yes I can!",Ah! .
The Kruncher: What the hay? . Mrs. Puff: What? This is not going well...,"Huh?  Oh, dear. I think I'm in that fellow's way.  Engage turn signals. Adjust mirrors. Hands at ten and two, and finally floor it. ."
"The Kruncher:  Oh, what happened? . Mrs. Puff: What is wrong with you guys?! Squash the Squish!  Yes! Blow Torch: . . Captain Lutefisk: Oh! Ooh! Le Squish turns it around with a rare face trend maneuver! Mrs. Puff: .",Mrs. Puff! What should I...
Mrs. Puff: Why... are you still... ALIVE?!,"Put her in drive? Thanks, Mrs. Puff, you're the best!"
". Mrs. Puff: Curse you, SpongeBob!",What's that Mrs. Puff? .
"Blow Torch:  I got you this time! . Mrs. Puff: This is it! Ha ha! Yes! Huh? . Mrs. Puff: If you want someone demolished, I guess you have to demolish them yourself!  Not so fast! There's one more challenger! I'm The Huff!  You're blocking my view!  Hah hah hah! Huh? .",Mrs. Puff! It's you!  And you're all puffy again! Now everything's back to normal!
". Mrs. Puff: Yes, perfectly normal.","Patrick! Tee time, Patrick! Patrick!  Tee time, Patrick!  Patrick! Wake up!"
"Patrick:  Ready to lose? Weather permitting, of course.","Aw, how are we supposed to golf in this this downpour? Our putters are getting waterlogged."
"Patrick: Dumb rain! Doesn't anybody know I'm the sheriff in these parts?  Hey, rain! You better stop that! Patrick:  AAAAAAHHH!!!!! Squidward:  If you two don't mind, could you keep it down to a low rumble? SpongeBob and Patrick: Sorry, Squidward.",I guess we were just too upset about the rain and how...
Squidward: Don't care.,"I was really looking forward to a day of sportsmanship and male bonding. Thanks a lot, rain!  Hey,   that gives me an idea."
"French narrator: What follows is a brief construction montage. French narrator: We hope you enjoyed this brief construction montage. Squidward:  Hey! Hello?! Nitwit, morons.","Oh, hi, Squidward. Up from your slumber, I see. Well, you're just in time to endure in a friendly game of  indoor miniature golf!"
"Squidward: I will not indulge in anything friendly or otherwise with the likes of you two! Presently, I am heading to enjoy a well-deserved morning nap! Patrick: But we sculpted your likeness out of butter on hole five. Squidward: I don't care! Listen up, I will not be woken from my nap again, and if I am, I'm gonna... Patrick: Join us on the back nine? Squidward: Just don't let it happen again! Or else.","Let's get this game teed off.  You're up first, my good man."
Squidward: Would you two KEEP IT DOWN?!,"Better tone down the calisthenics, Patrick. Don't want to upset Squidward."
"Patrick: Can't wait to lose, huh?  NO! Ooh. If you would just let me finish my stretches, I wouldn't have missed my first shot!","Oh, don't worry, Patrick, I'm sure you'll get the hang of it.  Besides, we're just playin' for fun, right? And back, and-"
Patrick: Nice shot.,What are you doing?
Patrick: Moving my ball.,"Patrick, you have to play it where it lands."
Patrick: Fine. Have it your way.  Ready to give up? Patrick: Ha! Let's see how you do against the windmill. You haven't got a chance.,"You know, Patrick, this is just a game."
"Patrick: Oh, it is just a game, which I am gonna win.",I think you're missing the point.
"Patrick: Speaking of m-m-MISSING!  Ha! Gotta play it where it lands. Watch and learn, SquarePants. Watch and learn.  YES! See if you can top that!",Okay.
"Patrick:  SpongeBob readies the approach shot. He's gotta be very careful he doesn't hook the shot here, because this would certainly be an inopportune time for a bogey.  A pressure-packed shot to be sure. Bikini Bottomites: Aw. Patrick: Looks like we're tied, three shots to three.","Shots.  They're called strokes in golf, Patrick. Not shots."
Patrick: Whatever.  AND HE SINKS ANOTHER HOLE IN ONE! That's two in a row!,"All right. You wanna play competitive, eh? Observe.  Right between the old wickets. Come on bally, don't fail me now."
Patrick: Watch out for the water hazard.,"Patrick, the only hazard I can see is you standing in my shot."
Patrick: I have no idea what you're talking about.,Fine. Be that way. I'll just go around you.  Oops.
Patrick: Show-off. I can do that.,"Oh, where did our balls go?!"
"Patrick: Well, how do I know? I was just copying you.","Uh-oh. Oh well, I guess that's game point."
"Patrick: Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho, hold on there, fella. It's not over yet.",But remember what Squidward said? We can't make any noise!
Patrick: Who said anything about noise? We're just gonna get outta the rough and back to the course!,"Hey! Patrick. Patrick! What's the big idea? I thought we were in here to play golf, remember?"
"Patrick: Okay, okay!",Now where is that darn ball?
Patrick: Oh!,"Patrick, have you seen my ball?"
Patrick: Was it a red one?,M-hmm.
Patrick: It might have been in the kelp salad.,"Patrick, you ate my ball?"
"Patrick: Don't worry, I'll get it.","Patrick, no."
Patrick: No?,"I have to play the ball where it lies.  You'll need to leave this open.  Now, let's see, if I was a golf ball, where would I-oh! Next to the gallbladder, of course. Fore!  Where's your ball?"
Patrick: I don't know. Got to be around here somewhere.,There it is!
Patrick: Uh-oh.,Play it where it lies.
Patrick:  Hole in one! Top that!,I could do that blindfolded.
Patrick: Wait up! Warmer. Warmer. Red hot!,Aha!
"Patrick: Warmer. Warmer. Colder. Colder. Warmer. Warmer. Warmer. Hot. Hotter. Red hot! Red hot!  Wait, My mistake. You're right. Oh, Warmer. Warmer. Hot. Hot. Red hot. Red hot! SpongeBob, red hot!  Wrong again.",Patrick...
Patrick: Stop peeking! Hotter.  Hotter! Hot! Hot! Cold. Hot. Cold. Hot! Cold.,"Patrick, this is ridic-  -ulous. Wow. Squidward's really let this place go. Patrick...!"
Patrick:  AAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!,What are you doing?
Patrick: I was just freshening up. But these fancy fixtures are touchy  Hot! Red hot! Ah! Cold! Cold! Cold!,Would you please get back in the game?
Patrick: But I wanted to try his loofah.,"Those balls have got to be around here somewhere. Oh, Patrick."
"Patrick: Uhh, look a little closer, buddy.",Play it where it lies?
Patrick: Play it where it lies.,But how are we gonna hit our balls back to my house from here?
"Patrick: All it takes is a little finesse, SpongeBob. All it takes is a little finesse.","Okay, you're good to go."
Patrick: Fore!  It's all yours.,This one's for all the marbles.
Patrick: But I thought we weren't betting.,"No, I mean whoever wins this hole wins the game."
Squidward:  What's going on here? SpongeBob and Patrick: Hole in one!,Good morning.
Patrick: Sorry we woke you. Squidward:  Wha-What?,"Hey, Squidward, what happened to your dentures?"
"Patrick: Good game, pal.",Rematch next Saturday?
"Patrick: Rain or shine, SpongeBob. Rain or shine. Squidward:  SpongeBob?!","Gary, the paper's here!  You can have this, buddy. 'Cause all I need is the entertainment section!  I am a happy sponge!"
Gary:  Meow! Patrick: I see you got the paper.,"Oh, hey, Patrick.  Well, I'd better get going."
"Patrick: Yep, see you later. SpongeBob and Patrick: What did you say? Patrick: Well, I didn't say anything.","I didn't say anything, either."
SpongeBob and Patrick: See you later then.,"Alright, quit messing with me! I know you said something."
"Patrick: Ah, but it is you  that is messing with me.  That's what's messing with us!",It's a baby scallop.
Patrick:  I'll take care of this!,"No, Patrick! It's totally helpless.  It looks like he can't even fly yet."
"Patrick: What's the matter, is he stupid?","No, Patrick, he's just a baby.  He's all alone with no one to take care of him."
"Patrick: Well, we can't just leave him out here.","You're right. Come on, let's take him into the pineapple.  Hmmm, let's see, we need a box for him to sleep in.  There you go. It's the best seat  in the house."
"Patrick: Let me see!  Hey, he's kinda cute. Uh-oh!  I think somebody's hungry!",Is it true? Are you hungry?
Junior:  Cheep-cheep-cheep-cheep!,I've got just the thing.  How would you like a Krabby Patty?
"Patrick: SpongeBob SquarePants, are you crazy? That's not the right food for a little fella like him!",Of course not. I don't know what I was thinking. What he needs is a tiny Krabby Patty.
Junior:  Blech!,Huh? No one's ever turned down one of these before.
Patrick:  Let's try a doughnut.,French fries?
Junior:  Unh-unh. Patrick:  A doughnut?,All we have left is this apple.
"Worm: Hello, sea creatures! I bring you greetings from Apple World!",Of course! Scallops love worms.
"Worm: Huh, wait! We will bury you!","Well, you should be good for the rest of the..."
Patrick: What now?,"I don't know! Aww, don't cry."
"Patrick: Do something, SpongeBob!","Uhh...uhh...uhh... Blah-blah-blah! Look at the funny face! Doo, doo-doo, doo-doo! Look at the funny face!  Look at the funny face!"
"Patrick: Wait! I think I might know the problem.  Yep, that's it, alright.  Hold on just one second. There he is, good as new.",How did you know?
Patrick: How do you think?  And I've been doing it all by myself for almost a year.,"Wow, I'm sure glad you're here."
"Patrick: I know, good thing there's two of us.","You know, Patrick, since this scallop doesn't have parents, we should raise it ourselves."
"Patrick: Yeah. At least until it's old enough to be on its own. Oh, I wanna be the mom!","I don't think you can be the mom, Patrick, because you never wear a shirt."
"Patrick: You're right. If I was a mom..., ...this would be kind of shocking.  Just call me Daddy! Montage: Patrick:  It sure is cute when it's asleep.",Yeah.  Shh!
"Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob?","Yes, Patrick?"
Patrick: I never thought being a parent could be this much fun.,Me neither.
"Patrick: Well, good night, SpongeBob.","Good night, Patrick.  Patrick, breakfast is ready."
"Patrick: Alright! All this parenting stuff makes me hungry.  Hey, Junior, how are you doing today?  SpongeBob?","Yes, Patrick?"
Patrick: Kid's got a stinky.,Can you take care of him? My hands are kind of full.
"Patrick:  Ahh. Wish I could, but I gotta get going.",Going? Where are you going?
"Patrick:  I'm goin' to work. I'm the dad, remember?",You mean I have to do all this baby stuff myself?
Patrick: I'll give you a break tonight when I get home. Don't you two stop being adorable.,Okay.
Patrick: Phew! What a day.,"Oh, great, you're home. Now you can help me with the baby."
"Patrick: Aw, gee, SpongeBob, I'd love to, but I'm totally beat from work.",Huh?
Patrick:  That guy got hit in the head with a coconut!,"Patrick, what about my break?"
"Patrick: Oh yeah, your break. Uh, tomorrow, I promise.","Uhh, okay, tomorrow."
Narrator: Tomorrow... Patrick: Phew! Another tough day.,"Oh, Patrick, I'm so glad you're home after working all day. I can't wait for my break."
Patrick: Work was a killer. I need my chair.,"Patrick, I really need my..."
Patrick: Tomorrow for sure. Narrator: Tomorrow for sure...,Patrick?
Patrick: I'll get to it eventually... Narrator: Eventually...,Uhhh?
Patrick: Uhhh. Narrator: Uhhh...,"Patrick Star, we need to talk."
"Patrick: Just one more minute, I gotta...","Don't 'one more minute' me, Mr. Man!"
"Patrick: Hey, I'm missin' the coconut!",You haven't been helping at all with Junior!  We made a commitment and you're not doing your share! You never do anything.
Patrick: I changed his diaper!,"Yeah, once."
Patrick: He's only this big.  How many diapers could he possibly use?,Hmmm?
"Patrick: Oh, that's not so much.",Hmmm?
Patrick:  So?,Hmmm?  Hmmm?  Hmmm?!
"Patrick:  I have no idea! What kind of a father am I?! Oh!  I'll make it up to you, buddy. I promise.","So, what's the plan for the day?"
"Patrick: No more foolin' around. From now on, I'm Super-Dad! I'll work straight through lunch so I can get home on time. So make sure you save a big ol' stinky diaper for me to change, and you can take the night off, pal.","Great, so I'll see you at six o'clock."
Patrick: Six o'clock.,Six o'clock.
Patrick: Six o'clock.,Six o'clock.
Patrick:  Six o'clock.,Six o'clock.
"Patrick: Six o'clock. Narrator: 12:00 midnight. Patrick: Oh, that was some party!  Oh, hey, SpongeBob. Hey, Junior.  What? What?!","Oh, nothing."
"Patrick: Oh, what a relief.  For a second there, I thought you were mad at me.",Do you remember what you said to me this morning?
"Patrick: Somethin' about root beer, right?",No.
"Patrick: Oh, wait, wait, let me guess. I give up.","Does...  You can take the night off, pal!  ...ring a bell?"
Patrick:  I don't need this.,What?!  Where do you think you're going?
Patrick:  I'm going back to work!,Work?!
Patrick:  He got hit in the head with two coconuts!,"So, this is work?"
"Patrick: You know, it's not as easy as it looks. Sometimes, I gotta move the antenna, sometimes, I lose the remote,  and sometimes, my butt itches real bad!","Oh, you poor, poor thing. By the way, you forgot your briefcase!"
"Patrick:  Oh, so this is the thanks I get for working overtime?",OVERTIME?!
"Patrick: Yeah, overtime, pal!","Oh, boy, yeah, you're working!"
Patrick: You know what that means?,And that's the kind of work you're doing?
Patrick: ​It means working when you're just too tired to work!,"Show me where I can sign up for this, because I've been working my fingers to the bone!"
Patrick: You just keep going on working and working!,​You never help! NEVER!
Patrick:  There's that stupid noise again!,"Oh, that's not a stupid noise. That's just Junior about to jump out of that two-story window."
Patrick:  Oh. Both:  JUNIOR!,Did you catch him?!
Patrick:  No. Both: We're bad parents!,Junior? He's flying!
"Patrick: I guess he's all grown up.  Hey, what about Daddy?  That's my boy.",Goodbye!
"Patrick:  Goodbye, Junior!","Well, Patrick, he doesn't need us anymore."
"Patrick: This is the hardest part of every parent's life, I assume.","Despite all we've been through, it was worth it."
"Patrick: Yeah... Let's have another. Narrator: Welcome to SpongeBob's House Party, with your host, Patchy the Pirate. There'll be punch, cookies, explosions, and a brand-new episode of SpongeBob SquarePants! Old-time crowd: Hooray! Narrator: Now live, from Encino, California, get ready for a warm embrace from our party host, Patchy the Pirate! Patchy: Hey, get off my lawn! Party?  There ain't no party here. Go away! Potty: Bawk, come on in! Patchy: Hush, Potty, can't you see I'm trying to keep out the riffraff? Potty: Riffraff? That's our television audience, barnacle breath! Patchy: Oh, of course it is! I was just fooling! Welcome!  Say, you didn't bring SpongeBob with you, did you? Gee, I sure hope he got his invitation.","I'd sure like to go to this party, but I can't read the invitation!"
Patrick: Me neither.,"Whoever sent this obviously has no idea about the physical limitations of life underwater! Well, might as well throw these in the fire."
"Patchy: Ah, well, come on in. Let me introduce you around. This here's Minnie Mermaid. She's cooling off on account of she's been dancing her scales off, isn't that right, Minnie, huh, takin' a little breakie poo? Minnie: No, Patchy. Actually, I'm in here because if I wasn't, I would die. Patchy: Ha, ha! That's the spirit! Patchy: Huh, let's see, who else haven't you met? That's Longbeard the pirate. Hey, there Longbeard, long time no see! Neptune: Who dares to interrupt Neptune? Patchy: Sorry about that, Neppy. That's Neptune.  He's king of the sea.  You kids having fun?  He-he.. whew! Hosting a party is hard work alright. That reminds me of a time when SpongeBob was hosting a party. Hey, you kids want to see that cartoon?  You do? Well then, launch the cartoon! Narrator: Ah, the Barg'n-Mart. A consumer's paradise of brand-like items, stocked as far as the eye can see.","Boom! 19 seconds! That's a new record, Lou!"
"Lou:  Uh, that's great, SpongeBob. $1.42.",But it's not an official record until we record it in the Book of Records.  19 seconds.
"Lou: Okay, so it's a $1.42.","Sign here please.  Initial here, and here, and here, and here.  Oh look, it's a picture I took of you the first time I ever came here!  Look at you, so young and happy!  Where do the years go? Hey, what's that? Plan Your Own Party Kit? Hey Lou, how much?"
"Lou: For the Plan Your Own Party kit? Oh, we're having a special on those. Uh, they're free. But you have to leave... right now.","Let's see Gary, according to the Plan Your Own Party Kit, invitations are the first order of business."
Gary: Meow.,"A guest list consisting only your closest acquaintances will set an intimate tone for the evening and provide soiree success. Well, you heard the man, Gary, only our closest friends."
"Fred's dad:  Who the barnacle is SpongeBob SquarePants? Mable: I believe you went to kindergarten with him, dear. Fred's dad: Kindergarten, huh?  Oh yeah, SquarePants. Well, I guess it's time to move again.","Boy, Gary, this Plan Your Own Party Kit is a real life-saver.  How else would I have known to make freshly-whipped clotted cream.  Gary, you better call an astronomer, because this clotted cream is outta' this world!  My piñata!  Ooh, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot.  The Plan Your Own Party Kit suggests creativity when stuffing your piñata, so I'm using deviled eggs."
Gary: Meow.,"Good question Gary, but not to worry. The Plan Your Own Party Kit warns that unsupervised parties can lead to disaster. That's why I've taken the liberty of devising a schedule!  8:00-8:05: Guests arrive. 8:05-8:15: Opening remarks and general discussion. 8:15-8:27: Craft corner, followed by name tag distribution.  At 8:27, we begin the qualifying rounds for our cracker-eating slash tongue-twister contest. 9:07: running charades.  9:38: charity apple-bob.  9:57: Electric jitterbug dance marathon, ladies' choice.  At 10:09, things start cooking as I dig into my world-famous knock-knock joke vault!"
Gary: Meow.,"And as long as we stick to this schedule, our party is a guaranteed success. This is gonna be the coolest party ever!"
"Patchy: Ha, ha! Looks like it's smooth party sailing for SpongeBob so far. Now it's time for me to get my own party underway! Gather around, ye scurvy landlubbers, it's time to learn the peg legged dance o' happiness.  Oh, it's quite simple really, all you need is a peg leg and some patience. And my instructional video series, only $29.95. Potty: Bawk! How tacky. Patchy: It's a $40 value, Potty!  A $40 value! Now, it's very easy and loads of fun. Salt Water Sam: Hey, everybody, the band's here. Patchy: Band? What band? Potty: Bawk, the band I hired for the party. Patchy: A jolly idea, Potty. A little live musical get me shindig dug. Who'd you get?  Barnacle Bill and the Seven Seas? Potty: No. Patchy: Seaweed Sally and her Cackling Turtle? Potty: No. Patchy: Oh, oh, I know: The First Mates. Potty: No. Patchy: Saltwater Sam, featuring the Brine Brothers. Potty: No. Patchy: Uh, Rusty Hinges and the Boys from the Brig? Potty: They broke up years ago. Patchy: Well, who else is there? Potty: The Bird Brains! Patchy: Oh.. Potty: The Bird Brains--They're better than all those other bands. Patchy: But they're just a bunch of birds. Lead Singer: Hello, Encino! Patchy: Potty, that's the worst sea shanty I've ever heard! I certainly hope it doesn't get any louder. Ohh!  No, no, No! Stop the music!  Stop! Look, boys, I know that you fellas sound good around the birdbath, but this here is basic cable! This is the big time! I'm afraid it's time for you to walk the plank. Lead Singer: You mean we're fired? Patchy: No.  Go on, start jumping, or you'll be dealing with the business end of me sword!  No! I forgot that you're birds! Ahh! Narrator:  While Patchy pulls himself together, let's see how SpongeBob's party is shaping up.","Okay, Gary, get ready. It's almost 8:00! Here they come!  Don't worry too much, Gary, it's only ten seconds past 8:00.  Now it's 20 seconds past 8:00! Maybe no one got their invitations. 30 seconds past 8:00! Oh, I'm doomed!  No one's coming. I'm the worst host ever!  Oh, the first guest, and only forty seconds late."
"Patrick: Hi, SpongeBob.","Welcome, Patrick! May I compliment you on being fashionably late? Can I get you a glass of punch?"
Patrick: Sure?,Did you have any trouble finding the place?  Here you are!
Patrick: Thanks.,"So, the punch okay?"
"Patrick: Not bad, not bad.","Hmm, nice weather we're having."
"Patrick: It's been very mild, yes.","Yep, it's mild season.  Ahem. So, you read any...  Oh, more party guests!  Welcome, Mr. Krabs!"
"Mr. Krabs: Ahoy, SpongeBob!","Please let Gary take your coat, then allow me to offer you some hors d'oeuvres and a glass of punch."
Mr. Krabs: Don't mind if I do! Gary: Meow.,"Two down, 175 to go. Oh, I almost forgot...  These name tags eliminate the need for awkward introductions.  Oh, more guests!"
"Patrick: Kcirtap si eman ym o77eh. I don't get it. Mr. Krabs: No, you dumb bunny, it says, Hello, my name is Patrick. Patrick:  Nice to meet you Patrick. Mr. Krabs:  Good one, Patrick! Patrick: Yeah.","What's going on here? The laughter isn't scheduled until 9:03! You want to throw a party, do it at your house, Patrick."
Patrick: Was he talking to me or you?,"Squidward, you made it!"
Squidward: My cable's out.,"Oh, uh, sorry to hear about that."
"Mr Krabs: So, uh, how's it going, Squidward? Squidward: Not bad.","I have you making mild conversation with Mr. Krabs from 10:41 to 10:47.  But if you've got a case of the jabberjaws, I can hook you up with Scooter.  Here are some topic cards to break the ice.  Oh, someone's at the door!"
"Scooter: Mine says, 'What came first?: the oyster or the pearl?' You take the side of the pearl! Squidward: This is lame. Sadie: My card says, Discuss the philosophical nature of irony. What does yours say? Patrick: Nod politely. Mr. Krabs: What does yours say, Plankton? Plankton: Oh, uh, it says,  'Discuss the secret ingredient of the Krabby Patty formula.'  How interesting. Mr. Krabs: Nice try, Plankton.","Well, it's about time. Okay, everyone, the last guest is about to arrive...  22 minutes late!"
"Tom: Hey, hey!","Attention, everyone. Attention please! Now that we're all here, I officially declare the party switch to be in the 'on' position!  As soon as I get back from the coat room, we'll have a rundown of tonight's schedule. Try not to have too much fun without me!  Seriously."
"Narrator: (television version only) That includes you folks, SpongeBob's House Party will be right back after these messages.   Ahoy there! Welcome back to SpongeBob's House Party!","Hey, Gare, got another coat for you.  The party's going great, by the way. They're gonna be talking about this one for a long, long time. Well, back to  work.  Okay, everyone. Let's...huh? What's going on here?  This is all wrong! What's happening to my party?  No, no, no, no, no! Didn't you read the schedule? 10:00pm: Dance your pants off! 10:00pm!  Let's try to stick to the schedule, shall we? Cake will be eaten at 8:52, everyone! 8:52!  Hey, what's this?"
Sandals: That's my breakfast!,"Could I have everyone's attention please?  Patrick!  If everyone could take a seat on the couch please, while I sort this out. Thank you, thanks.  Hey everybody, thanks for your patience. I know we've gotten off to a rocky start here, so I'm going to get us back on track. It is now 8:37, and we all know what that means!  Time to read aloud from the newspaper comics! Okay, I think I'll start out with 'The Wisenheimers.' Okay, panel one: we see Roxy Wisenheimer with some sort of rake. Wait, I can't read from this!  This is yesterday's paper.  I'll just go grab today's paper.  SpongeBob, you sure know how to throw a party. What would they do without you?  Locked out?"
"Sandy: This song's got a great beat. Patrick: Yeah. Knock, knock.","Gee, I wonder why they don't hear me?  Oh no!  They're not using the topic cards! They're ad-libbing!  Now they're mad at Patrick! He's hogging the deviled eggs!  Look at those poor souls, they're so bored, they've gone mad! Oh, no. The party's falling into chaos without my hosting talents to guide it."
"Patrick: So, do you come here often? Mrs. Puff: No. Patrick: Hello, SquarePants residence. What?  I'm sorry, what?","Patrick, it's me, SpongeBob!"
Patrick: You wanna talk to SpongeBob?,"Yes... no, Patrick! I'm SpongeBob! I'm outside!"
"Patrick: Okay, hold on.  SpongeBob, you out here? Phone's for you!",What? I-. No! Patrick! Wait!
"Patrick: Sorry, he's not out there. Scooter: Hey, dude, if you're looking for SpongeBob, he's over by the punch bowl. Patrick: Thanks.  Here you go, SpongeBob.",Phone in punch bowl? That's not even on the schedule!
"Larry: Larry, my man, you are looking good enough to eat!  Could use a little teeth whitener, though. I'm sure SpongeBob won't mind.  Hey, check out his crazy comb.","Oh, no, sounds like someone's rummaging through my medicine cabinet.  I hope they don't touch my special comb."
"Larry: Well, I think I've aired it up enough.  Hey, this party's finally starting to pick up.","I hope this doesn't interfere with finger puppet theater at 9:20! If I don't get back inside soon and restore order, there might not be enough time for the scheduled events!"
"Pearl: Gee, SpongeBob really knows how to throw a great party! Mrs. Puff: Oh, yes, everything is quite lovely.  Eww, although I don't care for his taste of paintings.","I don't even know how that happened. Well, I have no choice. I'm gonna have to tunnel back in!  Okay, everybody, don't panic, the host has returned.  I can take losing the topic cards and the phone in the punch bowl, but...  ...I was supposed to lead the bunny hop! This is a bunch of barnacles! I'm breaking in!"
"Officer John: Well, well, well. What do we have here? A burglar bunny. Why do they do it, O'Malley? Officer O'Malley: I don't know. It's probably how he gets his kicks. Officer John: You criminals make me sick.","I'm no criminal! I live here! I'm...I'm throwing a party. I got locked out, I swear!"
"Officer John:  Well, why didn't you say so? What a terrible misunderstanding! Officer O'Malley: You have a nice party now, sir.","Boy, for a second there, I thought I was going to be arrested for breaking into my own house. What an ironic twist that would have been."
"Officer John: Hey, wait a second, if you're throwing a party. Why weren't we invited?","But, I didn't know. Plan Your Own Party Kit didn't mention the police."
"Officer O'Malley: Whoa, whoa, okay, motor-mouth, tell it to the judge.  Oh no, these cuffs are broken. Officer John: Huh, we can't bring him in in broken cuffs. I got an old pair in the car we can use.",Is it too late to offer you some punch?
"Officer O'Malley: Sir, you have the right to remain silent.","All night in the stony lonesome in a bunny outfit!  Oh, yeah, the door's locked.  Good thing I keep a spare key...under the mat. Grr!  Oh, look at this place! This party was a complete disaster."
Patrick: That was the greatest party any of us have ever been to!,It was?
"Patrick: Oh, without a doubt, you are the best party-thrower ever!",I am?
"Patrick: Yeah! Whatever you did, you should write it down and do it again next weekend. Thanks again, SpongeBob. See ya!","SquarePants, you've done it again. I guess I know how to throw a party after all.  Gary! Well it looks like you had a good time."
Gary: Meow.,"Good night, Gary."
"Patchy: Oh ho ho, I'm glad to see that old SpongeBob's party worked out. Now I gotta get me own party going! Ready for some real music, Potty? Potty:  Bawk! Okay, ready. Patchy:  ♪Oh... scurvy ain't for the likes of me, yo ho, yo ho, yo ho, yo ho, yo ho, yo ho, yo ho, yo ho, yo ho... Oh! Yo ho, yo ho, yo ho, yo ho, yo ho, yo ho, yo ho, yo ho, yo ho, yo ho, yo ho, yo ho, yo ho, yo ho, yo ho.. Oh, scurvy ain't for the likes of..♪ Potty: Bawk! It's time for your flute solo. Patchy: Thank you, Potty, I almost forgot...  Hey wait a minute. I don't play a flute. I play a fife.  Potty, no!  Wow, I can't believe I survived that one.  Potty, help me! Potty: Ladies and Gentlemen, bawk! The Bird Brains! Bird Brains: ♪Come with me to the land I love, It's not right here, down the street, or up above. It's down below in the deep blue sea. Where SpongeBob lives, and the fun is always free. Down, down, down, to the bottom of the sea. Where our salty friend SpongeBob waits for you and me.  Down, down, down, ahh, we'll have lots of fun. You and me forever in the underwater sun. We'll catch some jellyfish if we get a chance, Say hello to Patrick, and do a little dance, Karate chop Sandy, see Squid get a tan, Eat a Krabby Patty and foil Plankton's plan. Down, down, down, to the bottom of the sea. We'll hook up with SpongeBob and his snail Gary.  Down, down, down, ahh, we'll have lots of fun You and me forever in the underwater sun, underwater sun.♪ Patchy:  Aha! Great job, boys! Thanks for stopping by! Don't hit the porthole on the way out.  And thank you for stopping by! You've made this party a real fun time. Potty: Bawk, the ladies are here! Patchy: Oh! Ladies! Shiver me timbers! Welcome, girlies!  Huh! No! Potty: Goodbye, folks! Patchy: It's Potty you're after! Narrator: Thank you for coming to SpongeBob's House Party! Patchy: Belay the smooching. Belay the smooching! Squidward: Wow. Squidward, this is the best soufflé you have ever created.  Congratulations, chef! SpongeBob Bubble: Hi, Patrick. Patrick Bubble: Hi, SpongeBob.","Patrick, you're my best friend in the whole neighborhood."
"Squidward Bubble:  Patrick, you are the dumbest idiot it has ever been my misfortune to know. Patrick Bubble: Do you really think that, SpongeBob?","Of course, Patrick. Anyone with eyes can see that."
"Patrick Bubble: Yeah? Well, I think you're ugly.  Yellow is ugly!","Patrick, what are you talking about?"
"Squidward Bubble:  SpongeBob, I no longer wish to know you.  You give bottom dwellers a bad name. Squidward Bubble:  If I had a dollar for every brain you don't have, I'd have one dollar! Squidward Bubble:  Hey, Patrick, I heard there was a job opening down at the pet shop... as some newspaper! Patrick:  Well, that makes you a big dummy, you dummy!","Yeah, well, that means that, uhh... so are you!"
"Patrick: Right, you're a turkey!",What's that?
Patrick: It's what you are!,"Well, you're a bigger one!"
"Patrick: Well, you're still yellow! And you know what else is yellow?",What?
Patrick: You are!,"Oh, yeah? Well, it doesn't matter what you call me, 'cause I never wanna see you again anyway!  Aww, tartar sauce!"
"Squidward: Patrick: Wow, Squidward, you're choking!  Uhh... uhh, I know what to do, but I should wash my hands first. Oh, well.  I win! Squidward: Wow! Patrick, you saved me! Patrick: I did? Squidward: Yup! You're a real lifesaver, friend! Patrick: Friend?  Friend... Squidward:  Yeah, Patrick, we're friends...  just friends. Patrick: So what are we gonna do tonight, best friend? Squidward: Well, I was going to practice my clarinet solo. Patrick: Clarinet? I love music!","Ahh, who needs them? They're no fun anyway, right, Gary?  Gary?"
Squidward: Squidward will be performing his version of Solitude in E minor. Patrick:  Yeah! E minor! All right! Yeah!,"Ah, what am I worried about? I got plenty of friends! I can name three right off the bat!  Uhh...  The gang's all here...  Ohhh!"
Squidward: Ow! Oh! My back! I threw out my back!,"Oh, boy, now's my chance!"
"Squidward: SpongeBob? No, no, stay back!","Don't worry, Squidward! I'm coming!"
"Squidward: No, no, no, get away from me!",Hang on! I'll save you!
"Squidward:  No, no! Get away from me! No, no!",Hold on!
"Squidward: No, no! Get away!  Oh! I'm ruined! I'm... I'm... I'm... I-I feel great! Thanks, SpongeBob! You're a real friend!",Friend...
"Squidward: N-no, no, no, I didn't mean that, no-no.","Don't worry, Squiddy, old pal. That's what friends are for.  So dumb Patrick fell asleep on ya, huh? Some friend. A real friend would perform for you!"
Squidward: You play?,"Are you kidding? I've been playing bassinet for years!  Give me an A, buddy!  Squidward is my best friend in the world.  Squidward is my best friend in the sea... Squidward..."
Patrick:  Likes Patrick more than SpongeBob.  Oh!,"And Patrick is a dirty, stinky, rotten friend stealer!  Umm, I can fix this."
Squidward: Grrrrrryehhhhherrrryeh!,"...So, uhh, I'll see you tomorrow, Squidward! Call me!"
"Squidward: Yech! That was disgusting! I feel like I need to scrub myself. Patrick: Hey, buddy. I warmed it up for ya. Squidward: Patrick! Get out! And put some clothes on!","What's the matter, Squidward, old buddy?  Oh, ho-ho! So this is what I find, huh?! My best friend and my ex-best friend and...  ...rubber bath toys!"
"Patrick:  Oh, yeah?! Well, he was my friend first!","You're just a backbiting, backstabbing silly blob of..."
Squidward:  This can't be happening to me! SpongeBob and Patrick: Squidward!,Buddy!
"Patrick: Squidward, where are you?!","Where'd ya go, friend?"
"Patrick: Where are ya, ol' buddy? Squidward:  Oh, this is nuts! I need a plan to get those two back together and outta my hair!",Squidward.  A dinner party? I'd love to!  Did you miss me?
Squidward: Come on in! You look stunning.,"I'd much rather dine with you than that lousy...  Say, what gives?! I'm not sitting near that maniac!"
"Patrick: Me neither! This was a setup! Squidward: I thought you two were my best friends. SpongeBob and Patrick: I am your best friend! Squidward:  Well, how about some soda, guys?","Yes, please!  Thanks, friend."
Patrick: How about some for your best friend?,"Thanks, best friend!"
"Patrick: Can I have some now, buddy?","Wait, I need some more!"
Patrick: I still didn't get any!,There ya go. More please!
Patrick:  Squidward!,Squidward!
"Patrick:  Hey, Squidward!",Squidward!
"Patrick:  Squidward!  Squidward! Squidward: Patrick! Your glass is full! Patrick: Oh, yeah...",Squidward!
"Patrick:  Hey, Squidward!",Squidward!
Patrick:  Squidward!,Squidward!
"Patrick:  Hey, Squidward!",Squidward!
"Patrick:  Hey, Squidward!",Squidward!
Patrick:  Squidward!,Squidward!
"Patrick:  Hey, Squidward! SpongeBob and Patrick:  Squidward! Squidward: Sorry, boys, I'm all out of pop. I'm gonna go get some more.  Why don't you just stay here and chat?  I should just walk away right now.  What a surprise... I invited them in, and I left them alone. Well, Squidward, what have we learned today?","Guess what, Squidward?"
"Patrick: Me and SpongeBob are friends again! Squidward: Great, now go be friends somewhere else.",Don't you want us to help you clean this up a little?
Squidward: No! Out!,"Psst, I think he's jealous."
"Patrick: How pathetic. Squidward: Ohhhhh, my back. Sandy: All right, Science Scouts. One last check on supplies. We all need to be prepared for a campout on the moon.  SpongeBob.",Six-pack of Fizz Bomb Cola.  Bubble wand.  Mesh tank top.  And I'm waiting on a Krabby Patty delivery.
"Sandy: Well, that's not what I had in mind when I said supplies. How 'bout you, Pearl? Pearl: Oh.  Pom-poms,  megaphone, and spirit! Squidina: Uh. Do you always have to rub it in my face that you're a cheerleader? Pearl:  Yes I do! Sandy: Scouts, I don't think you cotton to what we're doin'. We're going to the moon! SpongeBob, Pearl, & Squidina: Eww! Bubble Bass: Huh?  Mm! Sandy: No, that moon. SpongeBob, Pearl, & Squidina: Ohh! Sandy: Squidina, what did you bring? Squidina:  Eyeglasses,  comic books,  and action figures. Pearl: Ugh, can a person be any nerdier?",I can.
"Pearl: Ew! Sandy: Remember, Scouts, we're scientists. Let's behave like it.",Science!
"Sandy:  Everyone on board for lift-off. Pearl: Ouch! Sandy: Let's go, Scout!",But I'm still waiting for my Krabby Patty delivery guy.
"Sandy: The moon is in perfect position for us to launch.  We gotta leave now! Squidward: Hello? Delivery.  Did someone order a Krabby Patty?  Uhh. Yuck. Hokey hoo-ha for hicks.  Ahh! I take it back! I could learn to like songs about tractors...maybe. Sandy: Uh, sorry about that. Just some backfire is all.","Safety first. Uh, why you!"
"Sandy: Uhh, everything okay back there, SpongeBob?",Thanks!
"Sandy: Three, two, one, launch!  Whoops! Lunch. Squidward: Eh, did I die? Am I a ghost? Sandy:  Okay, Scouts, you're free to move about the cabin.","Ooh, whoa! I'm flying, I'm flying!  Whoop!"
"Sandy:  This peanut plant's pulse is staying steady in zero G. Pearl: I've never been so light before. Sandy: Uhh, I gotta fix that. Squidina:  Teenage Action Girl, rise to the rescue of Action Dog while Teenage Action Boy floats in the corner and mopes.  I don't care. Oh, no! Help me!  Hey! Watch it, you big orca! Pearl: You watch it, you big dorka! Squidward: There can only be one explanation. I've lost my mind!  All those years working at the Krusty Krab and I finally snapped!  Ohh, going crazy is actually a relief.  All my stress is gone.  All my stress is back! Sandy: Uh-oh, we've got space junk!  Everybody, back in your seats. Trays in upright positions. Head between your knees. Your mama can't save you now!",Home run!
"Sandy: We've still get a few Astro Belts to get through. Brace yourselves for the cold belt! Sandy: Next up, we got a hot belt!",Patty melt.
"Sandy: Ow!  Huh! We're going through the radiation belt! That could cause mutations! Everyone, get under your lead blankets! Pearl:  Mutations?! I must protect my beautiful face!",Aww.
"Squidward: Oh, good Neptune! I'm going through puberty again! Sandy: Okay, Scouts, it's all safe now.  Let's see where we are.  Craters, craters— Oh! Giant eyeball? Now I'm as confused as a goat on Astroturf.  SpongeBob!","Hey, there's a tiny little squirrel in here.  How'd you get in there, you little fuzz ball?"
"Sandy: I love the guy, but if his brains were dynamite, he couldn't blow his nose. Squidward: Huh? We've stopped. It's all over! I'm back home!  Wait a minute. That's the Earth. And that down there is the moon? So, somehow the treedome flew here.  Good Neptune, I'm falling! Wait, if I remember my high school science, on the moon, I'm much lighter than on Earth. Which means...ha! This fall won't hurt me. Squidward:  Oh, shrimp. Now where am I? Maybe this is the way out.  Maybe this one? Country squirrel: Are y'all ready to go nuts for some hokey hoo-ha? Squidward:  Third time's a charm? Sandy: One small step for a squirrel...",Ooh!  One giant leap for SpongeKind.
"Sandy: All right, Science Scouts, everyone's got an assignment. Pearl, you measure the moon's gravity. Pearl: Rah, rah, sis, moon, bahhh! Sandy: Squidina, you collect moon rocks. Squidina: Way ahead of you, Ms. Scout Ma'am Cheeks! Pearl:  Grrr-avity! Sandy: SpongeBob, you can search for intelligent life.","Aye, aye! Hmm...mmm..."
"Sandy: You do know how to recognize intelligent life, right?","Oh, sure.  I cut open their heads to see if they have any brains."
"Sandy:  If you find anything, just toot.  Now to study the moon's gravitational effects on my nuts. Pearl: I'm number one! You're number two! I'm gonna beat the nerd out of you! Squidina:  No one beats the nerd out of Squidina! Pearl: Whoa!  Missed me! Squidina: Science! Yay! Squidward: Well, maybe being on the moon isn't so bad. After all,  SpongeBob is over 238,000 miles away. Random citizen:  Ow! Squidward:  This moon is a no SpongeBob zone!  Here, I'm the man on the moon!","Um, did someone say, Man on the Moon?  Hello?  Intelligent life?  How about average smarts?  I'd settle for common sense!  Ooh! Intelligent footprints.  Huh?  Wha-hoo!  I found it! I found it!"
"Sandy:  What'd you find, SpaceBob?",Intelligent life.
"Sandy:  I'm not so sure about that.  If they were intelligent, they would have eaten this Krabby Patty.","Ooh! Mmm, speaking of eating"
Sandy: You're right! It's lunch time.  Would you mind fetching the lunch I prepared?,You bet! Just call me LunchBob.
"Sandy: Just press the button labeled lunch! Squidward: No SpongeBob, no SpongeBob, no SpongeBob, no SpongeBob, no SpongeBob, no SpongeBob, no Sp— Whoa! The dark side of the moon.  SpongeBob? Are you in here?  No SpongeBob.  I have a strange feeling suddenly coming over me. Could it be...that I'm...happy?","Lunch, lunch, where's lunch? Oh, there it is."
Computer: Preparing to launch.,"No!  No, not launch! Lunch!"
"Pearl: Uh, wait, wait—what's going on? Squidina:  How should I know? Sandy: You guys wait here!  Phew! SpongeBob?  SpongeBob!","Oh, uh, Sandy!  Hey, girl. I was just gonna run back home. I forgot, uh...my reading glasses."
"Sandy: It's okay, SpongeBob. It's my fault for putting the launch and lunch button so close together.  Oh, no! The moon's been pulled out of its regular orbit. That could have disastrous effects on the Earth's tides. Nat Peterson: Water's a little dry today. Sandy: And that last launch depleted our fuel. Santa:  Ho-ho-ho. Sandy: That's weird. Squidina:  I'm so sorry you're a cheerleader! Pearl: I'm sorry you're a nerd! Pearl & Squidina: That came out wrong!","Ooh, moon hugs! Make room for me.  Come on, Sandy, bring it on in."
"Sandy: It's all right, Scouts. We just gotta figure out a way to get back to Earth. Pearl: But Sandy, we heard strange laughing coming from... in there. Santa:  Ho-ho-ho. Pearl, Squidina, Sandy, & SpongeBob: Huh?",Squidward? You're the man on the moon?
Squidward: SpongeBob?!  Of course. Why not? Squidward: Ohh!  Oh! Oh! Oh! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Santa:  SpongeBob? Ho-ho! I should've known you'd have something to do with this.,"Santy Claus! Well, Santa, you know the saying, where SpongeBob goes..."
"Santa: I know, trouble follows.",I was gonna say laughter follows.
"Sandy: Mr. Claus, what are you doing on the dark side? Santa: The dark side of the moon is the only place dark enough for me to get any sleep.  I was sleeping like a baby—visions of sugar plums.  Then this bad boy goes and bangs into my sleigh and wakes me up! Squidward: Well, I guess I'm getting nothing for Christmas...again. Santa:  Holy night, SpongeBob! Did you shrink the Earth?","Good question, Mr. Claus."
"Sandy: We're actually further from the Earth now. We could have moved the moon back into its regular orbit if we hadn't run out of fuel. Squidina: A controlled explosion might move the moon back. Pearl:  Ha, you're so smart. How do we do that?",Ooh! Fizz Bomb Cola! A burp explosion in every can.
"Sandy: Yee-haw! That's my Science Scouts! Sandy: No go, the moon's too heavy. Santa:  I think some children might be needing some brains for Christmas. Squidina: Perfection!",Now we just wait for a gust of wind.
"Sandy: Uh, interesting science fact: there's no atmosphere on the moon, therefore there's no wind.",Why don't we just push the moon back?
"Santa:  You all should be a sea monster because you're Kraken me up! Get it? Kraken? Sandy:  Santa Claus, you can do more than just say, Ho-ho-ho! at us! You can dig into that toy sack of yours and find something to help! Santa: But I'm having such a jolly, holly time!  You're right. I'm being naughty, not nice. Santa: Everyone nestled all snug? Sandy: We're all snug, Santa. But why is SpongeBob with you?","Yeah, why am I riding with you? Not that it isn't a pleasure."
"Santa: I want you close to me so I can keep an eye on you. You're a menace!  First, I'll push Sandy's rocket ship out of harm's way. SpongeBob, hand me that jack-in-the-box.","Jack-in-the-box. Oh, oh! Let me try!"
Santa: Be careful! Don't overwind it!,But it's gotta be strong enough to move the moon.
"Santa: You broke it, and it was my last one.","Hmm.  Oh, wait. I think I can hear the last note struggling to get out. Come on, Jack, you can do it. I believe in you!"
Santa: Ho-ho-ho-ho!,"What happened?  Oh. Okay, sorry. It was my bad."
"Frankie Billy:  Oh, excuse me. Sorry. Santa: Oh-oh-oh.",Oh-oh-oh?
Santa: Ho-ho-ho backwards.,"Santa, do you have any water shooters in your bag?"
"Santa: Yes, the whole sack is full of 'em.","All right, Santa, squirt me."
"Santa:  Oh, I get it.","Whoo! Keep 'em coming, Santa!"
"Sandy: Using the leftover Fizz Bomb Cola made an excellent rocket fuel, Science Scout Squidina. Squidina: Yep, the rocket burped us back. Pearl:  Wow! Would you mind teaching me some nerdy science stuff? Squidina: Sure, if you'll teach me some airhead cheerleader stuff. Sandy: Why don't you join the Science Scouts, Squidward? Squidward: No, thanks! Science is crazy and filled with lunatics! Sandy: Speaking of luna, I wonder how old SpongeBob is doing.","Good night, Earth! Hey, I'm mooning you.  Hello, lady. You sure look lovely by moonlight."
Lady: Aww!,"Hey, mister! I can see your bald spot."
Man #1: Hey!,"Don't be alarmed, people. I'm only here 'til December, when Santa brings everybody a new moon for Christmas."
Man #2: Come on!,"Oh, sorry. Just gave away the big surprise, didn't I? Oh, well. Merry early Christmas!"
"Santa:  Ho-ho-ho! You're a menace! Narrator: It's time for another SpongeBob SquarePants special! But it's not an ordinary special,  because today we go to Encino, California, as it was…  …one hundred million years ago! So prepare yourself for…  SpongeBob SquarePants B.C.!  With your host, Patchy the Pirate! Patchy: Yee-ha! Hey kids! Now, you're probably wondering, Hmm, what's Patchy doing in a cave? good question, you little...  Well, it's because today's SpongeBob takes place in prehistoric times  ...back when man struggled for survival  and dinosaurs ruled the Earth.  Isn't that right, Bronty? But I'm riding YOU now!  Like I was saying, prehistoric times were the greatest.  It was a simpler time  with simpler pleasures!  Your clothes always match!  You can draw on the walls! And nobody yell at ya!  It was much easier to hit a baseball!  Oh yeah, prehistoric times were the best.  Hey kids! Are those pterodactyl wings I hear 'a flappin'? I think I know who that is! Please welcome the Potty-dactyl! Potty:  Sorry I'm late. Patchy: Potty! Why aren't you wearing your costume?  I stayed up all night making it! Potty:  You're wasting your time, old man. Prehistoric stuff is lame. Everybody knows the future's where it's at. Patchy: What?!  That's not true! Don't mind him, folks. Why even SpongeBob SquarePants knows that prehistoric stuff is, what the kids say,  cool. Potty:  No he doesn't. Patchy:  Yes he does. Potty: Nope. Patchy: He most certainly does. Potty: No he doesn't. Patchy: Yes he does! Potty: No. Patchy:  I know for a fact that he does! Potty: ...not. Narrator: Meanwhile. Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob! What's wrong?","I don't know, Mr. Krabs, but I've got this strangest feeling that somewhere a pirate and parrot are arguing about me.  And the parrot is winning."