WHAT KIND OF WORLD DO YOU WANT YOUR KIDS TO LIVE IN?
One where every USB drive is a glitter-filled middle finger to the surveillance state.
"The most subversive people are those who ask questions."
- Some anarchist probably
THE PROBLEM
Cops and three-letter agencies are vacuuming up every USB drive they find, hoping to scrape data about activists, organizers, and anyone who makes them nervous.
We say: LET'S WASTE THEIR TIME.
THE GLITTERBOMB SOLUTION
1. USB Drives That Fight Back
Custom firmware that:
- Shows fake network maps
- Corrupts itself when scanned
- Spams glitter gifs endlessly
- Maybe even makes a little spark
2. Strategic Distribution
We'll seed them:
- On the Red Line
- At protest sites
- Near cop bars
- Anywhere sketchy
3. Maximum Annoyance
Label them with things like:
- "ANTIFA NETWORK MAP"
- "DRUG DEALER CONTACTS"
- "CPD CORRUPTION PROOF"
- "FBI SURVEILLANCE LOGS"
FUND THE CHAOS
GLITTER TIER - $20
- 1 custom glitterbomb USB
- Your name on our "Wall of Mischief"
- Digital "I funded the revolution" sticker
ANARCHY TIER - $100
- 5 glitterbomb USBs deployed in Chicago
- Video proof of deployment
- Custom label suggestion
- "Agent of Chaos" digital badge
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
Is this legal?
We're not lawyers, but we're pretty sure wasting police time isn't a crime. The USBs won't actually damage equipment (probably). This is art. Performance art.
Won't this just make cops more paranoid?
Yes. That's the point. Maybe they'll stop grabbing random USBs looking for evidence and actually do some real police work.
Can I suggest USB contents?
Absolutely. Higher funding tiers get to suggest what shows up when they scan the drive. Rickrolls? Endless goatse? The possibilities are endless.
READY TO JOIN THE RESISTANCE?
Every dollar funds another USB drive that will waste hours of police forensic time.
(This is totally a joke, officer. Unless...?)