| VII | |
| It was when curiosity about Gatsby was at its highest that the lights | |
| in his house failed to go on one Saturday night—and, as obscurely as | |
| it had begun, his career as Trimalchio was over. Only gradually did I | |
| become aware that the automobiles which turned expectantly into his | |
| drive stayed for just a minute and then drove sulkily away. Wondering | |
| if he were sick I went over to find out—an unfamiliar butler with a | |
| villainous face squinted at me suspiciously from the door. | |
| “Is Mr. Gatsby sick?” | |
| “Nope.” After a pause he added “sir” in a dilatory, grudging way. | |
| “I hadn’t seen him around, and I was rather worried. Tell him Mr. | |
| Carraway came over.” | |
| “Who?” he demanded rudely. | |
| “Carraway.” | |
| “Carraway. All right, I’ll tell him.” | |
| Abruptly he slammed the door. | |
| My Finn informed me that Gatsby had dismissed every servant in his | |
| house a week ago and replaced them with half a dozen others, who never | |
| went into West Egg village to be bribed by the tradesmen, but ordered | |
| moderate supplies over the telephone. The grocery boy reported that | |
| the kitchen looked like a pigsty, and the general opinion in the | |
| village was that the new people weren’t servants at all. | |
| Next day Gatsby called me on the phone. | |
| “Going away?” I inquired. | |
| “No, old sport.” | |
| “I hear you fired all your servants.” | |
| “I wanted somebody who wouldn’t gossip. Daisy comes over quite | |
| often—in the afternoons.” | |
| So the whole caravansary had fallen in like a card house at the | |
| disapproval in her eyes. | |
| “They’re some people Wolfshiem wanted to do something for. They’re all | |
| brothers and sisters. They used to run a small hotel.” | |
| “I see.” | |
| He was calling up at Daisy’s request—would I come to lunch at her | |
| house tomorrow? Miss Baker would be there. Half an hour later Daisy | |
| herself telephoned and seemed relieved to find that I was | |
| coming. Something was up. And yet I couldn’t believe that they would | |
| choose this occasion for a scene—especially for the rather harrowing | |
| scene that Gatsby had outlined in the garden. | |
| The next day was broiling, almost the last, certainly the warmest, of | |
| the summer. As my train emerged from the tunnel into sunlight, only | |
| the hot whistles of the National Biscuit Company broke the simmering | |
| hush at noon. The straw seats of the car hovered on the edge of | |
| combustion; the woman next to me perspired delicately for a while into | |
| her white shirtwaist, and then, as her newspaper dampened under her | |
| fingers, lapsed despairingly into deep heat with a desolate cry. Her | |
| pocketbook slapped to the floor. | |
| “Oh, my!” she gasped. | |
| I picked it up with a weary bend and handed it back to her, holding it | |
| at arm’s length and by the extreme tip of the corners to indicate that | |
| I had no designs upon it—but everyone near by, including the woman, | |
| suspected me just the same. | |
| “Hot!” said the conductor to familiar faces. “Some weather! … Hot! … | |
| Hot! … Hot! … Is it hot enough for you? Is it hot? Is it … ?” | |
| My commutation ticket came back to me with a dark stain from his hand. | |
| That anyone should care in this heat whose flushed lips he kissed, | |
| whose head made damp the pyjama pocket over his heart! | |
| … Through the hall of the Buchanans’ house blew a faint wind, carrying | |
| the sound of the telephone bell out to Gatsby and me as we waited at | |
| the door. | |
| “The master’s body?” roared the butler into the mouthpiece. “I’m | |
| sorry, madame, but we can’t furnish it—it’s far too hot to touch this | |
| noon!” | |
| What he really said was: “Yes … Yes … I’ll see.” | |
| He set down the receiver and came toward us, glistening slightly, to | |
| take our stiff straw hats. | |
| “Madame expects you in the salon!” he cried, needlessly indicating the | |
| direction. In this heat every extra gesture was an affront to the | |
| common store of life. | |
| The room, shadowed well with awnings, was dark and cool. Daisy and | |
| Jordan lay upon an enormous couch, like silver idols weighing down | |
| their own white dresses against the singing breeze of the fans. | |
| “We can’t move,” they said together. | |
| Jordan’s fingers, powdered white over their tan, rested for a moment | |
| in mine. | |
| “And Mr. Thomas Buchanan, the athlete?” I inquired. | |
| Simultaneously I heard his voice, gruff, muffled, husky, at the hall | |
| telephone. | |
| Gatsby stood in the centre of the crimson carpet and gazed around with | |
| fascinated eyes. Daisy watched him and laughed, her sweet, exciting | |
| laugh; a tiny gust of powder rose from her bosom into the air. | |
| “The rumour is,” whispered Jordan, “that that’s Tom’s girl on the | |
| telephone.” | |
| We were silent. The voice in the hall rose high with annoyance: “Very | |
| well, then, I won’t sell you the car at all … I’m under no obligations | |
| to you at all … and as for your bothering me about it at lunch time, I | |
| won’t stand that at all!” | |
| “Holding down the receiver,” said Daisy cynically. | |
| “No, he’s not,” I assured her. “It’s a bona-fide deal. I happen to | |
| know about it.” | |
| Tom flung open the door, blocked out its space for a moment with his | |
| thick body, and hurried into the room. | |
| “Mr. Gatsby!” He put out his broad, flat hand with well-concealed | |
| dislike. “I’m glad to see you, sir … Nick …” | |
| “Make us a cold drink,” cried Daisy. | |
| As he left the room again she got up and went over to Gatsby and | |
| pulled his face down, kissing him on the mouth. | |
| “You know I love you,” she murmured. | |
| “You forget there’s a lady present,” said Jordan. | |
| Daisy looked around doubtfully. | |
| “You kiss Nick too.” | |
| “What a low, vulgar girl!” | |
| “I don’t care!” cried Daisy, and began to clog on the brick fireplace. | |
| Then she remembered the heat and sat down guiltily on the couch just | |
| as a freshly laundered nurse leading a little girl came into the room. | |
| “Bles-sed pre-cious,” she crooned, holding out her arms. “Come to your | |
| own mother that loves you.” | |
| The child, relinquished by the nurse, rushed across the room and | |
| rooted shyly into her mother’s dress. | |
| “The bles-sed pre-cious! Did mother get powder on your old yellowy | |
| hair? Stand up now, and say—How-de-do.” | |
| Gatsby and I in turn leaned down and took the small reluctant hand. | |
| Afterward he kept looking at the child with surprise. I don’t think he | |
| had ever really believed in its existence before. | |
| “I got dressed before luncheon,” said the child, turning eagerly to | |
| Daisy. | |
| “That’s because your mother wanted to show you off.” Her face bent | |
| into the single wrinkle of the small white neck. “You dream, you. You | |
| absolute little dream.” | |
| “Yes,” admitted the child calmly. “Aunt Jordan’s got on a white dress | |
| too.” | |
| “How do you like mother’s friends?” Daisy turned her around so that | |
| she faced Gatsby. “Do you think they’re pretty?” | |
| “Where’s Daddy?” | |
| “She doesn’t look like her father,” explained Daisy. “She looks like | |
| me. She’s got my hair and shape of the face.” | |
| Daisy sat back upon the couch. The nurse took a step forward and held | |
| out her hand. | |
| “Come, Pammy.” | |
| “Goodbye, sweetheart!” | |
| With a reluctant backward glance the well-disciplined child held to | |
| her nurse’s hand and was pulled out the door, just as Tom came back, | |
| preceding four gin rickeys that clicked full of ice. | |
| Gatsby took up his drink. | |
| “They certainly look cool,” he said, with visible tension. | |
| We drank in long, greedy swallows. | |
| “I read somewhere that the sun’s getting hotter every year,” said Tom | |
| genially. “It seems that pretty soon the earth’s going to fall into | |
| the sun—or wait a minute—it’s just the opposite—the sun’s getting | |
| colder every year. | |
| “Come outside,” he suggested to Gatsby, “I’d like you to have a look | |
| at the place.” | |
| I went with them out to the veranda. On the green Sound, stagnant in | |
| the heat, one small sail crawled slowly toward the fresher sea. | |
| Gatsby’s eyes followed it momentarily; he raised his hand and pointed | |
| across the bay. | |
| “I’m right across from you.” | |
| “So you are.” | |
| Our eyes lifted over the rose-beds and the hot lawn and the weedy | |
| refuse of the dog-days alongshore. Slowly the white wings of the boat | |
| moved against the blue cool limit of the sky. Ahead lay the scalloped | |
| ocean and the abounding blessed isles. | |
| “There’s sport for you,” said Tom, nodding. “I’d like to be out there | |
| with him for about an hour.” | |
| We had luncheon in the dining-room, darkened too against the heat, and | |
| drank down nervous gaiety with the cold ale. | |
| “What’ll we do with ourselves this afternoon?” cried Daisy, “and the | |
| day after that, and the next thirty years?” | |
| “Don’t be morbid,” Jordan said. “Life starts all over again when it | |
| gets crisp in the fall.” | |
| “But it’s so hot,” insisted Daisy, on the verge of tears, “and | |
| everything’s so confused. Let’s all go to town!” | |
| Her voice struggled on through the heat, beating against it, moulding | |
| its senselessness into forms. | |
| “I’ve heard of making a garage out of a stable,” Tom was saying to | |
| Gatsby, “but I’m the first man who ever made a stable out of a | |
| garage.” | |
| “Who wants to go to town?” demanded Daisy insistently. Gatsby’s eyes | |
| floated toward her. “Ah,” she cried, “you look so cool.” | |
| Their eyes met, and they stared together at each other, alone in | |
| space. With an effort she glanced down at the table. | |
| “You always look so cool,” she repeated. | |
| She had told him that she loved him, and Tom Buchanan saw. He was | |
| astounded. His mouth opened a little, and he looked at Gatsby, and | |
| then back at Daisy as if he had just recognized her as someone he knew | |
| a long time ago. | |
| “You resemble the advertisement of the man,” she went on innocently. | |
| “You know the advertisement of the man—” | |
| “All right,” broke in Tom quickly, “I’m perfectly willing to go to | |
| town. Come on—we’re all going to town.” | |
| He got up, his eyes still flashing between Gatsby and his wife. No one | |
| moved. | |
| “Come on!” His temper cracked a little. “What’s the matter, anyhow? | |
| If we’re going to town, let’s start.” | |
| His hand, trembling with his effort at self-control, bore to his lips | |
| the last of his glass of ale. Daisy’s voice got us to our feet and out | |
| on to the blazing gravel drive. | |
| “Are we just going to go?” she objected. “Like this? Aren’t we going | |
| to let anyone smoke a cigarette first?” | |
| “Everybody smoked all through lunch.” | |
| “Oh, let’s have fun,” she begged him. “It’s too hot to fuss.” | |
| He didn’t answer. | |
| “Have it your own way,” she said. “Come on, Jordan.” | |
| They went upstairs to get ready while we three men stood there | |
| shuffling the hot pebbles with our feet. A silver curve of the moon | |
| hovered already in the western sky. Gatsby started to speak, changed | |
| his mind, but not before Tom wheeled and faced him expectantly. | |
| “Have you got your stables here?” asked Gatsby with an effort. | |
| “About a quarter of a mile down the road.” | |
| “Oh.” | |
| A pause. | |
| “I don’t see the idea of going to town,” broke out Tom savagely. | |
| “Women get these notions in their heads—” | |
| “Shall we take anything to drink?” called Daisy from an upper window. | |
| “I’ll get some whisky,” answered Tom. He went inside. | |
| Gatsby turned to me rigidly: | |
| “I can’t say anything in his house, old sport.” | |
| “She’s got an indiscreet voice,” I remarked. “It’s full of—” I | |
| hesitated. | |
| “Her voice is full of money,” he said suddenly. | |
| That was it. I’d never understood before. It was full of money—that | |
| was the inexhaustible charm that rose and fell in it, the jingle of | |
| it, the cymbals’ song of it … High in a white palace the king’s | |
| daughter, the golden girl … | |
| Tom came out of the house wrapping a quart bottle in a towel, followed | |
| by Daisy and Jordan wearing small tight hats of metallic cloth and | |
| carrying light capes over their arms. | |
| “Shall we all go in my car?” suggested Gatsby. He felt the hot, green | |
| leather of the seat. “I ought to have left it in the shade.” | |
| “Is it standard shift?” demanded Tom. | |
| “Yes.” | |
| “Well, you take my coupé and let me drive your car to town.” | |
| The suggestion was distasteful to Gatsby. | |
| “I don’t think there’s much gas,” he objected. | |
| “Plenty of gas,” said Tom boisterously. He looked at the gauge. “And | |
| if it runs out I can stop at a drugstore. You can buy anything at a | |
| drugstore nowadays.” | |
| A pause followed this apparently pointless remark. Daisy looked at Tom | |
| frowning, and an indefinable expression, at once definitely unfamiliar | |
| and vaguely recognizable, as if I had only heard it described in | |
| words, passed over Gatsby’s face. | |
| “Come on, Daisy” said Tom, pressing her with his hand toward Gatsby’s | |
| car. “I’ll take you in this circus wagon.” | |
| He opened the door, but she moved out from the circle of his arm. | |
| “You take Nick and Jordan. We’ll follow you in the coupé.” | |
| She walked close to Gatsby, touching his coat with her hand. Jordan | |
| and Tom and I got into the front seat of Gatsby’s car, Tom pushed the | |
| unfamiliar gears tentatively, and we shot off into the oppressive | |
| heat, leaving them out of sight behind. | |
| “Did you see that?” demanded Tom. | |
| “See what?” | |
| He looked at me keenly, realizing that Jordan and I must have known | |
| all along. | |
| “You think I’m pretty dumb, don’t you?” he suggested. “Perhaps I am, | |
| but I have a—almost a second sight, sometimes, that tells me what to | |
| do. Maybe you don’t believe that, but science—” | |
| He paused. The immediate contingency overtook him, pulled him back | |
| from the edge of theoretical abyss. | |
| “I’ve made a small investigation of this fellow,” he continued. “I | |
| could have gone deeper if I’d known—” | |
| “Do you mean you’ve been to a medium?” inquired Jordan humorously. | |
| “What?” Confused, he stared at us as we laughed. “A medium?” | |
| “About Gatsby.” | |
| “About Gatsby! No, I haven’t. I said I’d been making a small | |
| investigation of his past.” | |
| “And you found he was an Oxford man,” said Jordan helpfully. | |
| “An Oxford man!” He was incredulous. “Like hell he is! He wears a pink | |
| suit.” | |
| “Nevertheless he’s an Oxford man.” | |
| “Oxford, New Mexico,” snorted Tom contemptuously, “or something like | |
| that.” | |
| “Listen, Tom. If you’re such a snob, why did you invite him to lunch?” | |
| demanded Jordan crossly. | |
| “Daisy invited him; she knew him before we were married—God knows | |
| where!” | |
| We were all irritable now with the fading ale, and aware of it we | |
| drove for a while in silence. Then as Doctor T. J. Eckleburg’s faded | |
| eyes came into sight down the road, I remembered Gatsby’s caution | |
| about gasoline. | |
| “We’ve got enough to get us to town,” said Tom. | |
| “But there’s a garage right here,” objected Jordan. “I don’t want to | |
| get stalled in this baking heat.” | |
| Tom threw on both brakes impatiently, and we slid to an abrupt dusty | |
| stop under Wilson’s sign. After a moment the proprietor emerged from | |
| the interior of his establishment and gazed hollow-eyed at the car. | |
| “Let’s have some gas!” cried Tom roughly. “What do you think we | |
| stopped for—to admire the view?” | |
| “I’m sick,” said Wilson without moving. “Been sick all day.” | |
| “What’s the matter?” | |
| “I’m all run down.” | |
| “Well, shall I help myself?” Tom demanded. “You sounded well enough on | |
| the phone.” | |
| With an effort Wilson left the shade and support of the doorway and, | |
| breathing hard, unscrewed the cap of the tank. In the sunlight his | |
| face was green. | |
| “I didn’t mean to interrupt your lunch,” he said. “But I need money | |
| pretty bad, and I was wondering what you were going to do with your | |
| old car.” | |
| “How do you like this one?” inquired Tom. “I bought it last week.” | |
| “It’s a nice yellow one,” said Wilson, as he strained at the handle. | |
| “Like to buy it?” | |
| “Big chance,” Wilson smiled faintly. “No, but I could make some money | |
| on the other.” | |
| “What do you want money for, all of a sudden?” | |
| “I’ve been here too long. I want to get away. My wife and I want to go | |
| West.” | |
| “Your wife does,” exclaimed Tom, startled. | |
| “She’s been talking about it for ten years.” He rested for a moment | |
| against the pump, shading his eyes. “And now she’s going whether she | |
| wants to or not. I’m going to get her away.” | |
| The coupé flashed by us with a flurry of dust and the flash of a | |
| waving hand. | |
| “What do I owe you?” demanded Tom harshly. | |
| “I just got wised up to something funny the last two days,” remarked | |
| Wilson. “That’s why I want to get away. That’s why I been bothering | |
| you about the car.” | |
| “What do I owe you?” | |
| “Dollar twenty.” | |
| The relentless beating heat was beginning to confuse me and I had a | |
| bad moment there before I realized that so far his suspicions hadn’t | |
| alighted on Tom. He had discovered that Myrtle had some sort of life | |
| apart from him in another world, and the shock had made him physically | |
| sick. I stared at him and then at Tom, who had made a parallel | |
| discovery less than an hour before—and it occurred to me that there | |
| was no difference between men, in intelligence or race, so profound as | |
| the difference between the sick and the well. Wilson was so sick that | |
| he looked guilty, unforgivably guilty—as if he had just got some poor | |
| girl with child. | |
| “I’ll let you have that car,” said Tom. “I’ll send it over tomorrow | |
| afternoon.” | |
| That locality was always vaguely disquieting, even in the broad glare | |
| of afternoon, and now I turned my head as though I had been warned of | |
| something behind. Over the ash-heaps the giant eyes of Doctor T. J. | |
| Eckleburg kept their vigil, but I perceived, after a moment, that | |
| other eyes were regarding us with peculiar intensity from less than | |
| twenty feet away. | |
| In one of the windows over the garage the curtains had been moved | |
| aside a little, and Myrtle Wilson was peering down at the car. So | |
| engrossed was she that she had no consciousness of being observed, and | |
| one emotion after another crept into her face like objects into a | |
| slowly developing picture. Her expression was curiously familiar—it | |
| was an expression I had often seen on women’s faces, but on Myrtle | |
| Wilson’s face it seemed purposeless and inexplicable until I realized | |
| that her eyes, wide with jealous terror, were fixed not on Tom, but on | |
| Jordan Baker, whom she took to be his wife. | |
| ------------------------------------------------------------------------ | |
| There is no confusion like the confusion of a simple mind, and as we | |
| drove away Tom was feeling the hot whips of panic. His wife and his | |
| mistress, until an hour ago secure and inviolate, were slipping | |
| precipitately from his control. Instinct made him step on the | |
| accelerator with the double purpose of overtaking Daisy and leaving | |
| Wilson behind, and we sped along toward Astoria at fifty miles an | |
| hour, until, among the spidery girders of the elevated, we came in | |
| sight of the easygoing blue coupé. | |
| “Those big movies around Fiftieth Street are cool,” suggested | |
| Jordan. “I love New York on summer afternoons when everyone’s away. | |
| There’s something very sensuous about it—overripe, as if all sorts of | |
| funny fruits were going to fall into your hands.” | |
| The word “sensuous” had the effect of further disquieting Tom, but | |
| before he could invent a protest the coupé came to a stop, and Daisy | |
| signalled us to draw up alongside. | |
| “Where are we going?” she cried. | |
| “How about the movies?” | |
| “It’s so hot,” she complained. “You go. We’ll ride around and meet you | |
| after.” With an effort her wit rose faintly. “We’ll meet you on some | |
| corner. I’ll be the man smoking two cigarettes.” | |
| “We can’t argue about it here,” Tom said impatiently, as a truck gave | |
| out a cursing whistle behind us. “You follow me to the south side of | |
| Central Park, in front of the Plaza.” | |
| Several times he turned his head and looked back for their car, and if | |
| the traffic delayed them he slowed up until they came into sight. I | |
| think he was afraid they would dart down a side-street and out of his | |
| life forever. | |
| But they didn’t. And we all took the less explicable step of engaging | |
| the parlour of a suite in the Plaza Hotel. | |
| The prolonged and tumultuous argument that ended by herding us into | |
| that room eludes me, though I have a sharp physical memory that, in | |
| the course of it, my underwear kept climbing like a damp snake around | |
| my legs and intermittent beads of sweat raced cool across my back. | |
| The notion originated with Daisy’s suggestion that we hire five | |
| bathrooms and take cold baths, and then assumed more tangible form as | |
| “a place to have a mint julep.” Each of us said over and over that it | |
| was a “crazy idea”—we all talked at once to a baffled clerk and | |
| thought, or pretended to think, that we were being very funny … | |
| The room was large and stifling, and, though it was already four | |
| o’clock, opening the windows admitted only a gust of hot shrubbery | |
| from the Park. Daisy went to the mirror and stood with her back to us, | |
| fixing her hair. | |
| “It’s a swell suite,” whispered Jordan respectfully, and everyone | |
| laughed. | |
| “Open another window,” commanded Daisy, without turning around. | |
| “There aren’t any more.” | |
| “Well, we’d better telephone for an axe—” | |
| “The thing to do is to forget about the heat,” said Tom impatiently. | |
| “You make it ten times worse by crabbing about it.” | |
| He unrolled the bottle of whisky from the towel and put it on the | |
| table. | |
| “Why not let her alone, old sport?” remarked Gatsby. “You’re the one | |
| that wanted to come to town.” | |
| There was a moment of silence. The telephone book slipped from its | |
| nail and splashed to the floor, whereupon Jordan whispered, “Excuse | |
| me”—but this time no one laughed. | |
| “I’ll pick it up,” I offered. | |
| “I’ve got it.” Gatsby examined the parted string, muttered “Hum!” in | |
| an interested way, and tossed the book on a chair. | |
| “That’s a great expression of yours, isn’t it?” said Tom sharply. | |
| “What is?” | |
| “All this ‘old sport’ business. Where’d you pick that up?” | |
| “Now see here, Tom,” said Daisy, turning around from the mirror, “if | |
| you’re going to make personal remarks I won’t stay here a minute. | |
| Call up and order some ice for the mint julep.” | |
| As Tom took up the receiver the compressed heat exploded into sound | |
| and we were listening to the portentous chords of Mendelssohn’s | |
| Wedding March from the ballroom below. | |
| “Imagine marrying anybody in this heat!” cried Jordan dismally. | |
| “Still—I was married in the middle of June,” Daisy remembered. | |
| “Louisville in June! Somebody fainted. Who was it fainted, Tom?” | |
| “Biloxi,” he answered shortly. | |
| “A man named Biloxi. ‘Blocks’ Biloxi, and he made boxes—that’s a | |
| fact—and he was from Biloxi, Tennessee.” | |
| “They carried him into my house,” appended Jordan, “because we lived | |
| just two doors from the church. And he stayed three weeks, until Daddy | |
| told him he had to get out. The day after he left Daddy died.” After | |
| a moment she added. “There wasn’t any connection.” | |
| “I used to know a Bill Biloxi from Memphis,” I remarked. | |
| “That was his cousin. I knew his whole family history before he | |
| left. He gave me an aluminium putter that I use today.” | |
| The music had died down as the ceremony began and now a long cheer | |
| floated in at the window, followed by intermittent cries of | |
| “Yea—ea—ea!” and finally by a burst of jazz as the dancing began. | |
| “We’re getting old,” said Daisy. “If we were young we’d rise and | |
| dance.” | |
| “Remember Biloxi,” Jordan warned her. “Where’d you know him, Tom?” | |
| “Biloxi?” He concentrated with an effort. “I didn’t know him. He was a | |
| friend of Daisy’s.” | |
| “He was not,” she denied. “I’d never seen him before. He came down in | |
| the private car.” | |
| “Well, he said he knew you. He said he was raised in Louisville. Asa | |
| Bird brought him around at the last minute and asked if we had room | |
| for him.” | |
| Jordan smiled. | |
| “He was probably bumming his way home. He told me he was president of | |
| your class at Yale.” | |
| Tom and I looked at each other blankly. | |
| “Biloxi?” | |
| “First place, we didn’t have any president—” | |
| Gatsby’s foot beat a short, restless tattoo and Tom eyed him suddenly. | |
| “By the way, Mr. Gatsby, I understand you’re an Oxford man.” | |
| “Not exactly.” | |
| “Oh, yes, I understand you went to Oxford.” | |
| “Yes—I went there.” | |
| A pause. Then Tom’s voice, incredulous and insulting: | |
| “You must have gone there about the time Biloxi went to New Haven.” | |
| Another pause. A waiter knocked and came in with crushed mint and ice | |
| but the silence was unbroken by his “thank you” and the soft closing | |
| of the door. This tremendous detail was to be cleared up at last. | |
| “I told you I went there,” said Gatsby. | |
| “I heard you, but I’d like to know when.” | |
| “It was in nineteen-nineteen, I only stayed five months. That’s why I | |
| can’t really call myself an Oxford man.” | |
| Tom glanced around to see if we mirrored his unbelief. But we were all | |
| looking at Gatsby. | |
| “It was an opportunity they gave to some of the officers after the | |
| armistice,” he continued. “We could go to any of the universities in | |
| England or France.” | |
| I wanted to get up and slap him on the back. I had one of those | |
| renewals of complete faith in him that I’d experienced before. | |
| Daisy rose, smiling faintly, and went to the table. | |
| “Open the whisky, Tom,” she ordered, “and I’ll make you a mint julep. | |
| Then you won’t seem so stupid to yourself … Look at the mint!” | |
| “Wait a minute,” snapped Tom, “I want to ask Mr. Gatsby one more | |
| question.” | |
| “Go on,” Gatsby said politely. | |
| “What kind of a row are you trying to cause in my house anyhow?” | |
| They were out in the open at last and Gatsby was content. | |
| “He isn’t causing a row,” Daisy looked desperately from one to the | |
| other. “You’re causing a row. Please have a little self-control.” | |
| “Self-control!” repeated Tom incredulously. “I suppose the latest | |
| thing is to sit back and let Mr. Nobody from Nowhere make love to your | |
| wife. Well, if that’s the idea you can count me out … Nowadays people | |
| begin by sneering at family life and family institutions, and next | |
| they’ll throw everything overboard and have intermarriage between | |
| black and white.” | |
| Flushed with his impassioned gibberish, he saw himself standing alone | |
| on the last barrier of civilization. | |
| “We’re all white here,” murmured Jordan. | |
| “I know I’m not very popular. I don’t give big parties. I suppose | |
| you’ve got to make your house into a pigsty in order to have any | |
| friends—in the modern world.” | |
| Angry as I was, as we all were, I was tempted to laugh whenever he | |
| opened his mouth. The transition from libertine to prig was so | |
| complete. | |
| “I’ve got something to tell you, old sport—” began Gatsby. But Daisy | |
| guessed at his intention. | |
| “Please don’t!” she interrupted helplessly. “Please let’s all go | |
| home. Why don’t we all go home?” | |
| “That’s a good idea,” I got up. “Come on, Tom. Nobody wants a drink.” | |
| “I want to know what Mr. Gatsby has to tell me.” | |
| “Your wife doesn’t love you,” said Gatsby. “She’s never loved you. | |
| She loves me.” | |
| “You must be crazy!” exclaimed Tom automatically. | |
| Gatsby sprang to his feet, vivid with excitement. | |
| “She never loved you, do you hear?” he cried. “She only married you | |
| because I was poor and she was tired of waiting for me. It was a | |
| terrible mistake, but in her heart she never loved anyone except me!” | |
| At this point Jordan and I tried to go, but Tom and Gatsby insisted | |
| with competitive firmness that we remain—as though neither of them had | |
| anything to conceal and it would be a privilege to partake vicariously | |
| of their emotions. | |
| “Sit down, Daisy,” Tom’s voice groped unsuccessfully for the paternal | |
| note. “What’s been going on? I want to hear all about it.” | |
| “I told you what’s been going on,” said Gatsby. “Going on for five | |
| years—and you didn’t know.” | |
| Tom turned to Daisy sharply. | |
| “You’ve been seeing this fellow for five years?” | |
| “Not seeing,” said Gatsby. “No, we couldn’t meet. But both of us loved | |
| each other all that time, old sport, and you didn’t know. I used to | |
| laugh sometimes”—but there was no laughter in his eyes—“to think that | |
| you didn’t know.” | |
| “Oh—that’s all.” Tom tapped his thick fingers together like a | |
| clergyman and leaned back in his chair. | |
| “You’re crazy!” he exploded. “I can’t speak about what happened five | |
| years ago, because I didn’t know Daisy then—and I’ll be damned if I | |
| see how you got within a mile of her unless you brought the groceries | |
| to the back door. But all the rest of that’s a God damned lie. Daisy | |
| loved me when she married me and she loves me now.” | |
| “No,” said Gatsby, shaking his head. | |
| “She does, though. The trouble is that sometimes she gets foolish | |
| ideas in her head and doesn’t know what she’s doing.” He nodded | |
| sagely. “And what’s more, I love Daisy too. Once in a while I go off | |
| on a spree and make a fool of myself, but I always come back, and in | |
| my heart I love her all the time.” | |
| “You’re revolting,” said Daisy. She turned to me, and her voice, | |
| dropping an octave lower, filled the room with thrilling scorn: “Do | |
| you know why we left Chicago? I’m surprised that they didn’t treat you | |
| to the story of that little spree.” | |
| Gatsby walked over and stood beside her. | |
| “Daisy, that’s all over now,” he said earnestly. “It doesn’t matter | |
| any more. Just tell him the truth—that you never loved him—and it’s | |
| all wiped out forever.” | |
| She looked at him blindly. “Why—how could I love him—possibly?” | |
| “You never loved him.” | |
| She hesitated. Her eyes fell on Jordan and me with a sort of appeal, | |
| as though she realized at last what she was doing—and as though she | |
| had never, all along, intended doing anything at all. But it was done | |
| now. It was too late. | |
| “I never loved him,” she said, with perceptible reluctance. | |
| “Not at Kapiolani?” demanded Tom suddenly. | |
| “No.” | |
| From the ballroom beneath, muffled and suffocating chords were | |
| drifting up on hot waves of air. | |
| “Not that day I carried you down from the Punch Bowl to keep your | |
| shoes dry?” There was a husky tenderness in his tone … “Daisy?” | |
| “Please don’t.” Her voice was cold, but the rancour was gone from it. | |
| She looked at Gatsby. “There, Jay,” she said—but her hand as she tried | |
| to light a cigarette was trembling. Suddenly she threw the cigarette | |
| and the burning match on the carpet. | |
| “Oh, you want too much!” she cried to Gatsby. “I love you now—isn’t | |
| that enough? I can’t help what’s past.” She began to sob | |
| helplessly. “I did love him once—but I loved you too.” | |
| Gatsby’s eyes opened and closed. | |
| “You loved me too?” he repeated. | |
| “Even that’s a lie,” said Tom savagely. “She didn’t know you were | |
| alive. Why—there’s things between Daisy and me that you’ll never know, | |
| things that neither of us can ever forget.” | |
| The words seemed to bite physically into Gatsby. | |
| “I want to speak to Daisy alone,” he insisted. “She’s all excited | |
| now—” | |
| “Even alone I can’t say I never loved Tom,” she admitted in a pitiful | |
| voice. “It wouldn’t be true.” | |
| “Of course it wouldn’t,” agreed Tom. | |
| She turned to her husband. | |
| “As if it mattered to you,” she said. | |
| “Of course it matters. I’m going to take better care of you from now | |
| on.” | |
| “You don’t understand,” said Gatsby, with a touch of panic. “You’re | |
| not going to take care of her any more.” | |
| “I’m not?” Tom opened his eyes wide and laughed. He could afford to | |
| control himself now. “Why’s that?” | |
| “Daisy’s leaving you.” | |
| “Nonsense.” | |
| “I am, though,” she said with a visible effort. | |
| “She’s not leaving me!” Tom’s words suddenly leaned down over Gatsby. | |
| “Certainly not for a common swindler who’d have to steal the ring he | |
| put on her finger.” | |
| “I won’t stand this!” cried Daisy. “Oh, please let’s get out.” | |
| “Who are you, anyhow?” broke out Tom. “You’re one of that bunch that | |
| hangs around with Meyer Wolfshiem—that much I happen to know. I’ve | |
| made a little investigation into your affairs—and I’ll carry it | |
| further tomorrow.” | |
| “You can suit yourself about that, old sport,” said Gatsby steadily. | |
| “I found out what your ‘drugstores’ were.” He turned to us and spoke | |
| rapidly. “He and this Wolfshiem bought up a lot of side-street | |
| drugstores here and in Chicago and sold grain alcohol over the | |
| counter. That’s one of his little stunts. I picked him for a | |
| bootlegger the first time I saw him, and I wasn’t far wrong.” | |
| “What about it?” said Gatsby politely. “I guess your friend Walter | |
| Chase wasn’t too proud to come in on it.” | |
| “And you left him in the lurch, didn’t you? You let him go to jail for | |
| a month over in New Jersey. God! You ought to hear Walter on the | |
| subject of you.” | |
| “He came to us dead broke. He was very glad to pick up some money, old | |
| sport.” | |
| “Don’t you call me ‘old sport’!” cried Tom. Gatsby said | |
| nothing. “Walter could have you up on the betting laws too, but | |
| Wolfshiem scared him into shutting his mouth.” | |
| That unfamiliar yet recognizable look was back again in Gatsby’s face. | |
| “That drugstore business was just small change,” continued Tom slowly, | |
| “but you’ve got something on now that Walter’s afraid to tell me | |
| about.” | |
| I glanced at Daisy, who was staring terrified between Gatsby and her | |
| husband, and at Jordan, who had begun to balance an invisible but | |
| absorbing object on the tip of her chin. Then I turned back to | |
| Gatsby—and was startled at his expression. He looked—and this is said | |
| in all contempt for the babbled slander of his garden—as if he had | |
| “killed a man.” For a moment the set of his face could be described in | |
| just that fantastic way. | |
| It passed, and he began to talk excitedly to Daisy, denying | |
| everything, defending his name against accusations that had not been | |
| made. But with every word she was drawing further and further into | |
| herself, so he gave that up, and only the dead dream fought on as the | |
| afternoon slipped away, trying to touch what was no longer tangible, | |
| struggling unhappily, undespairingly, toward that lost voice across | |
| the room. | |
| The voice begged again to go. | |
| “Please, Tom! I can’t stand this any more.” | |
| Her frightened eyes told that whatever intentions, whatever courage | |
| she had had, were definitely gone. | |
| “You two start on home, Daisy,” said Tom. “In Mr. Gatsby’s car.” | |
| She looked at Tom, alarmed now, but he insisted with magnanimous | |
| scorn. | |
| “Go on. He won’t annoy you. I think he realizes that his presumptuous | |
| little flirtation is over.” | |
| They were gone, without a word, snapped out, made accidental, | |
| isolated, like ghosts, even from our pity. | |
| After a moment Tom got up and began wrapping the unopened bottle of | |
| whisky in the towel. | |
| “Want any of this stuff? Jordan? … Nick?” | |
| I didn’t answer. | |
| “Nick?” He asked again. | |
| “What?” | |
| “Want any?” | |
| “No … I just remembered that today’s my birthday.” | |
| I was thirty. Before me stretched the portentous, menacing road of a | |
| new decade. | |
| It was seven o’clock when we got into the coupé with him and started | |
| for Long Island. Tom talked incessantly, exulting and laughing, but | |
| his voice was as remote from Jordan and me as the foreign clamour on | |
| the sidewalk or the tumult of the elevated overhead. Human sympathy | |
| has its limits, and we were content to let all their tragic arguments | |
| fade with the city lights behind. Thirty—the promise of a decade of | |
| loneliness, a thinning list of single men to know, a thinning | |
| briefcase of enthusiasm, thinning hair. But there was Jordan beside | |
| me, who, unlike Daisy, was too wise ever to carry well-forgotten | |
| dreams from age to age. As we passed over the dark bridge her wan face | |
| fell lazily against my coat’s shoulder and the formidable stroke of | |
| thirty died away with the reassuring pressure of her hand. | |
| So we drove on toward death through the cooling twilight. | |
| ------------------------------------------------------------------------ | |
| The young Greek, Michaelis, who ran the coffee joint beside the | |
| ash-heaps was the principal witness at the inquest. He had slept | |
| through the heat until after five, when he strolled over to the | |
| garage, and found George Wilson sick in his office—really sick, pale | |
| as his own pale hair and shaking all over. Michaelis advised him to go | |
| to bed, but Wilson refused, saying that he’d miss a lot of business if | |
| he did. While his neighbour was trying to persuade him a violent | |
| racket broke out overhead. | |
| “I’ve got my wife locked in up there,” explained Wilson calmly. | |
| “She’s going to stay there till the day after tomorrow, and then we’re | |
| going to move away.” | |
| Michaelis was astonished; they had been neighbours for four years, and | |
| Wilson had never seemed faintly capable of such a statement. | |
| Generally he was one of these worn-out men: when he wasn’t working, he | |
| sat on a chair in the doorway and stared at the people and the cars | |
| that passed along the road. When anyone spoke to him he invariably | |
| laughed in an agreeable, colourless way. He was his wife’s man and not | |
| his own. | |
| So naturally Michaelis tried to find out what had happened, but Wilson | |
| wouldn’t say a word—instead he began to throw curious, suspicious | |
| glances at his visitor and ask him what he’d been doing at certain | |
| times on certain days. Just as the latter was getting uneasy, some | |
| workmen came past the door bound for his restaurant, and Michaelis | |
| took the opportunity to get away, intending to come back later. But he | |
| didn’t. He supposed he forgot to, that’s all. When he came outside | |
| again, a little after seven, he was reminded of the conversation | |
| because he heard Mrs. Wilson’s voice, loud and scolding, downstairs in | |
| the garage. | |
| “Beat me!” he heard her cry. “Throw me down and beat me, you dirty | |
| little coward!” | |
| A moment later she rushed out into the dusk, waving her hands and | |
| shouting—before he could move from his door the business was over. | |
| The “death car” as the newspapers called it, didn’t stop; it came out | |
| of the gathering darkness, wavered tragically for a moment, and then | |
| disappeared around the next bend. Mavro Michaelis wasn’t even sure of | |
| its colour—he told the first policeman that it was light green. The | |
| other car, the one going toward New York, came to rest a hundred yards | |
| beyond, and its driver hurried back to where Myrtle Wilson, her life | |
| violently extinguished, knelt in the road and mingled her thick dark | |
| blood with the dust. | |
| Michaelis and this man reached her first, but when they had torn open | |
| her shirtwaist, still damp with perspiration, they saw that her left | |
| breast was swinging loose like a flap, and there was no need to listen | |
| for the heart beneath. The mouth was wide open and ripped a little at | |
| the corners, as though she had choked a little in giving up the | |
| tremendous vitality she had stored so long. | |
| ------------------------------------------------------------------------ | |
| We saw the three or four automobiles and the crowd when we were still | |
| some distance away. | |
| “Wreck!” said Tom. “That’s good. Wilson’ll have a little business at | |
| last.” | |
| He slowed down, but still without any intention of stopping, until, as | |
| we came nearer, the hushed, intent faces of the people at the garage | |
| door made him automatically put on the brakes. | |
| “We’ll take a look,” he said doubtfully, “just a look.” | |
| I became aware now of a hollow, wailing sound which issued incessantly | |
| from the garage, a sound which as we got out of the coupé and walked | |
| toward the door resolved itself into the words “Oh, my God!” uttered | |
| over and over in a gasping moan. | |
| “There’s some bad trouble here,” said Tom excitedly. | |
| He reached up on tiptoes and peered over a circle of heads into the | |
| garage, which was lit only by a yellow light in a swinging metal | |
| basket overhead. Then he made a harsh sound in his throat, and with a | |
| violent thrusting movement of his powerful arms pushed his way | |
| through. | |
| The circle closed up again with a running murmur of expostulation; it | |
| was a minute before I could see anything at all. Then new arrivals | |
| deranged the line, and Jordan and I were pushed suddenly inside. | |
| Myrtle Wilson’s body, wrapped in a blanket, and then in another | |
| blanket, as though she suffered from a chill in the hot night, lay on | |
| a worktable by the wall, and Tom, with his back to us, was bending | |
| over it, motionless. Next to him stood a motorcycle policeman taking | |
| down names with much sweat and correction in a little book. At first I | |
| couldn’t find the source of the high, groaning words that echoed | |
| clamorously through the bare garage—then I saw Wilson standing on the | |
| raised threshold of his office, swaying back and forth and holding to | |
| the doorposts with both hands. Some man was talking to him in a low | |
| voice and attempting, from time to time, to lay a hand on his | |
| shoulder, but Wilson neither heard nor saw. His eyes would drop slowly | |
| from the swinging light to the laden table by the wall, and then jerk | |
| back to the light again, and he gave out incessantly his high, | |
| horrible call: | |
| “Oh, my Ga-od! Oh, my Ga-od! Oh, Ga-od! Oh, my Ga-od!” | |
| Presently Tom lifted his head with a jerk and, after staring around | |
| the garage with glazed eyes, addressed a mumbled incoherent remark to | |
| the policeman. | |
| “M-a-v—” the policeman was saying, “—o—” | |
| “No, r—” corrected the man, “M-a-v-r-o—” | |
| “Listen to me!” muttered Tom fiercely. | |
| “r—” said the policeman, “o—” | |
| “g—” | |
| “g—” He looked up as Tom’s broad hand fell sharply on his shoulder. | |
| “What you want, fella?” | |
| “What happened?—that’s what I want to know.” | |
| “Auto hit her. Ins’antly killed.” | |
| “Instantly killed,” repeated Tom, staring. | |
| “She ran out ina road. Son-of-a-bitch didn’t even stopus car.” | |
| “There was two cars,” said Michaelis, “one comin’, one goin’, see?” | |
| “Going where?” asked the policeman keenly. | |
| “One goin’ each way. Well, she”—his hand rose toward the blankets but | |
| stopped halfway and fell to his side—“she ran out there an’ the one | |
| comin’ from N’York knock right into her, goin’ thirty or forty miles | |
| an hour.” | |
| “What’s the name of this place here?” demanded the officer. | |
| “Hasn’t got any name.” | |
| A pale well-dressed negro stepped near. | |
| “It was a yellow car,” he said, “big yellow car. New.” | |
| “See the accident?” asked the policeman. | |
| “No, but the car passed me down the road, going faster’n forty. Going | |
| fifty, sixty.” | |
| “Come here and let’s have your name. Look out now. I want to get his | |
| name.” | |
| Some words of this conversation must have reached Wilson, swaying in | |
| the office door, for suddenly a new theme found voice among his | |
| grasping cries: | |
| “You don’t have to tell me what kind of car it was! I know what kind | |
| of car it was!” | |
| Watching Tom, I saw the wad of muscle back of his shoulder tighten | |
| under his coat. He walked quickly over to Wilson and, standing in | |
| front of him, seized him firmly by the upper arms. | |
| “You’ve got to pull yourself together,” he said with soothing | |
| gruffness. | |
| Wilson’s eyes fell upon Tom; he started up on his tiptoes and then | |
| would have collapsed to his knees had not Tom held him upright. | |
| “Listen,” said Tom, shaking him a little. “I just got here a minute | |
| ago, from New York. I was bringing you that coupé we’ve been talking | |
| about. That yellow car I was driving this afternoon wasn’t mine—do you | |
| hear? I haven’t seen it all afternoon.” | |
| Only the negro and I were near enough to hear what he said, but the | |
| policeman caught something in the tone and looked over with truculent | |
| eyes. | |
| “What’s all that?” he demanded. | |
| “I’m a friend of his.” Tom turned his head but kept his hands firm on | |
| Wilson’s body. “He says he knows the car that did it … It was a yellow | |
| car.” | |
| Some dim impulse moved the policeman to look suspiciously at Tom. | |
| “And what colour’s your car?” | |
| “It’s a blue car, a coupé.” | |
| “We’ve come straight from New York,” I said. | |
| Someone who had been driving a little behind us confirmed this, and | |
| the policeman turned away. | |
| “Now, if you’ll let me have that name again correct—” | |
| Picking up Wilson like a doll, Tom carried him into the office, set | |
| him down in a chair, and came back. | |
| “If somebody’ll come here and sit with him,” he snapped | |
| authoritatively. He watched while the two men standing closest glanced | |
| at each other and went unwillingly into the room. Then Tom shut the | |
| door on them and came down the single step, his eyes avoiding the | |
| table. As he passed close to me he whispered: “Let’s get out.” | |
| Self-consciously, with his authoritative arms breaking the way, we | |
| pushed through the still gathering crowd, passing a hurried doctor, | |
| case in hand, who had been sent for in wild hope half an hour ago. | |
| Tom drove slowly until we were beyond the bend—then his foot came down | |
| hard, and the coupé raced along through the night. In a little while I | |
| heard a low husky sob, and saw that the tears were overflowing down | |
| his face. | |
| “The God damned coward!” he whimpered. “He didn’t even stop his car.” | |
| ------------------------------------------------------------------------ | |
| The Buchanans’ house floated suddenly toward us through the dark | |
| rustling trees. Tom stopped beside the porch and looked up at the | |
| second floor, where two windows bloomed with light among the vines. | |
| “Daisy’s home,” he said. As we got out of the car he glanced at me and | |
| frowned slightly. | |
| “I ought to have dropped you in West Egg, Nick. There’s nothing we can | |
| do tonight.” | |
| A change had come over him, and he spoke gravely, and with decision. | |
| As we walked across the moonlight gravel to the porch he disposed of | |
| the situation in a few brisk phrases. | |
| “I’ll telephone for a taxi to take you home, and while you’re waiting | |
| you and Jordan better go in the kitchen and have them get you some | |
| supper—if you want any.” He opened the door. “Come in.” | |
| “No, thanks. But I’d be glad if you’d order me the taxi. I’ll wait | |
| outside.” | |
| Jordan put her hand on my arm. | |
| “Won’t you come in, Nick?” | |
| “No, thanks.” | |
| I was feeling a little sick and I wanted to be alone. But Jordan | |
| lingered for a moment more. | |
| “It’s only half-past nine,” she said. | |
| I’d be damned if I’d go in; I’d had enough of all of them for one day, | |
| and suddenly that included Jordan too. She must have seen something of | |
| this in my expression, for she turned abruptly away and ran up the | |
| porch steps into the house. I sat down for a few minutes with my head | |
| in my hands, until I heard the phone taken up inside and the butler’s | |
| voice calling a taxi. Then I walked slowly down the drive away from | |
| the house, intending to wait by the gate. | |
| I hadn’t gone twenty yards when I heard my name and Gatsby stepped | |
| from between two bushes into the path. I must have felt pretty weird | |
| by that time, because I could think of nothing except the luminosity | |
| of his pink suit under the moon. | |
| “What are you doing?” I inquired. | |
| “Just standing here, old sport.” | |
| Somehow, that seemed a despicable occupation. For all I knew he was | |
| going to rob the house in a moment; I wouldn’t have been surprised to | |
| see sinister faces, the faces of “Wolfshiem’s people,” behind him in | |
| the dark shrubbery. | |
| “Did you see any trouble on the road?” he asked after a minute. | |
| “Yes.” | |
| He hesitated. | |
| “Was she killed?” | |
| “Yes.” | |
| “I thought so; I told Daisy I thought so. It’s better that the shock | |
| should all come at once. She stood it pretty well.” | |
| He spoke as if Daisy’s reaction was the only thing that mattered. | |
| “I got to West Egg by a side road,” he went on, “and left the car in | |
| my garage. I don’t think anybody saw us, but of course I can’t be | |
| sure.” | |
| I disliked him so much by this time that I didn’t find it necessary to | |
| tell him he was wrong. | |
| “Who was the woman?” he inquired. | |
| “Her name was Wilson. Her husband owns the garage. How the devil did | |
| it happen?” | |
| “Well, I tried to swing the wheel—” He broke off, and suddenly I | |
| guessed at the truth. | |
| “Was Daisy driving?” | |
| “Yes,” he said after a moment, “but of course I’ll say I was. You see, | |
| when we left New York she was very nervous and she thought it would | |
| steady her to drive—and this woman rushed out at us just as we were | |
| passing a car coming the other way. It all happened in a minute, but | |
| it seemed to me that she wanted to speak to us, thought we were | |
| somebody she knew. Well, first Daisy turned away from the woman toward | |
| the other car, and then she lost her nerve and turned back. The second | |
| my hand reached the wheel I felt the shock—it must have killed her | |
| instantly.” | |
| “It ripped her open—” | |
| “Don’t tell me, old sport.” He winced. “Anyhow—Daisy stepped on it. I | |
| tried to make her stop, but she couldn’t, so I pulled on the emergency | |
| brake. Then she fell over into my lap and I drove on. | |
| “She’ll be all right tomorrow,” he said presently. “I’m just going to | |
| wait here and see if he tries to bother her about that unpleasantness | |
| this afternoon. She’s locked herself into her room, and if he tries | |
| any brutality she’s going to turn the light out and on again.” | |
| “He won’t touch her,” I said. “He’s not thinking about her.” | |
| “I don’t trust him, old sport.” | |
| “How long are you going to wait?” | |
| “All night, if necessary. Anyhow, till they all go to bed.” | |
| A new point of view occurred to me. Suppose Tom found out that Daisy | |
| had been driving. He might think he saw a connection in it—he might | |
| think anything. I looked at the house; there were two or three bright | |
| windows downstairs and the pink glow from Daisy’s room on the ground | |
| floor. | |
| “You wait here,” I said. “I’ll see if there’s any sign of a | |
| commotion.” | |
| I walked back along the border of the lawn, traversed the gravel | |
| softly, and tiptoed up the veranda steps. The drawing-room curtains | |
| were open, and I saw that the room was empty. Crossing the porch where | |
| we had dined that June night three months before, I came to a small | |
| rectangle of light which I guessed was the pantry window. The blind | |
| was drawn, but I found a rift at the sill. | |
| Daisy and Tom were sitting opposite each other at the kitchen table, | |
| with a plate of cold fried chicken between them, and two bottles of | |
| ale. He was talking intently across the table at her, and in his | |
| earnestness his hand had fallen upon and covered her own. Once in a | |
| while she looked up at him and nodded in agreement. | |
| They weren’t happy, and neither of them had touched the chicken or the | |
| ale—and yet they weren’t unhappy either. There was an unmistakable air | |
| of natural intimacy about the picture, and anybody would have said | |
| that they were conspiring together. | |
| As I tiptoed from the porch I heard my taxi feeling its way along the | |
| dark road toward the house. Gatsby was waiting where I had left him in | |
| the drive. | |
| “Is it all quiet up there?” he asked anxiously. | |
| “Yes, it’s all quiet.” I hesitated. “You’d better come home and get | |
| some sleep.” | |
| He shook his head. | |
| “I want to wait here till Daisy goes to bed. Good night, old sport.” | |
| He put his hands in his coat pockets and turned back eagerly to his | |
| scrutiny of the house, as though my presence marred the sacredness of | |
| the vigil. So I walked away and left him standing there in the | |
| moonlight—watching over nothing. | |
| VIII | |
| I couldn’t sleep all night; a foghorn was groaning incessantly on the | |
| Sound, and I tossed half-sick between grotesque reality and savage, | |
| frightening dreams. Toward dawn I heard a taxi go up Gatsby’s drive, | |
| and immediately I jumped out of bed and began to dress—I felt that I | |
| had something to tell him, something to warn him about, and morning | |
| would be too late. | |
| Crossing his lawn, I saw that his front door was still open and he was | |
| leaning against a table in the hall, heavy with dejection or sleep. | |
| “Nothing happened,” he said wanly. “I waited, and about four o’clock | |
| she came to the window and stood there for a minute and then turned | |
| out the light.” | |
| His house had never seemed so enormous to me as it did that night when | |
| we hunted through the great rooms for cigarettes. We pushed aside | |
| curtains that were like pavilions, and felt over innumerable feet of | |
| dark wall for electric light switches—once I tumbled with a sort of | |
| splash upon the keys of a ghostly piano. There was an inexplicable | |
| amount of dust everywhere, and the rooms were musty, as though they | |
| hadn’t been aired for many days. I found the humidor on an unfamiliar | |
| table, with two stale, dry cigarettes inside. Throwing open the French | |
| windows of the drawing-room, we sat smoking out into the darkness. | |
| “You ought to go away,” I said. “It’s pretty certain they’ll trace | |
| your car.” | |
| “Go away now, old sport?” | |
| “Go to Atlantic City for a week, or up to Montreal.” | |
| He wouldn’t consider it. He couldn’t possibly leave Daisy until he | |
| knew what she was going to do. He was clutching at some last hope and | |
| I couldn’t bear to shake him free. | |
| It was this night that he told me the strange story of his youth with | |
| Dan Cody—told it to me because “Jay Gatsby” had broken up like glass | |
| against Tom’s hard malice, and the long secret extravaganza was played | |
| out. I think that he would have acknowledged anything now, without | |
| reserve, but he wanted to talk about Daisy. | |
| She was the first “nice” girl he had ever known. In various unrevealed | |
| capacities he had come in contact with such people, but always with | |
| indiscernible barbed wire between. He found her excitingly | |
| desirable. He went to her house, at first with other officers from | |
| Camp Taylor, then alone. It amazed him—he had never been in such a | |
| beautiful house before. But what gave it an air of breathless | |
| intensity, was that Daisy lived there—it was as casual a thing to her | |
| as his tent out at camp was to him. There was a ripe mystery about it, | |
| a hint of bedrooms upstairs more beautiful and cool than other | |
| bedrooms, of gay and radiant activities taking place through its | |
| corridors, and of romances that were not musty and laid away already | |
| in lavender but fresh and breathing and redolent of this year’s | |
| shining motorcars and of dances whose flowers were scarcely | |
| withered. It excited him, too, that many men had already loved | |
| Daisy—it increased her value in his eyes. He felt their presence all | |
| about the house, pervading the air with the shades and echoes of still | |
| vibrant emotions. | |
| But he knew that he was in Daisy’s house by a colossal | |
| accident. However glorious might be his future as Jay Gatsby, he was | |
| at present a penniless young man without a past, and at any moment the | |
| invisible cloak of his uniform might slip from his shoulders. So he | |
| made the most of his time. He took what he could get, ravenously and | |
| unscrupulously—eventually he took Daisy one still October night, took | |
| her because he had no real right to touch her hand. | |
| He might have despised himself, for he had certainly taken her under | |
| false pretences. I don’t mean that he had traded on his phantom | |
| millions, but he had deliberately given Daisy a sense of security; he | |
| let her believe that he was a person from much the same strata as | |
| herself—that he was fully able to take care of her. As a matter of | |
| fact, he had no such facilities—he had no comfortable family standing | |
| behind him, and he was liable at the whim of an impersonal government | |
| to be blown anywhere about the world. | |
| But he didn’t despise himself and it didn’t turn out as he had | |
| imagined. He had intended, probably, to take what he could and go—but | |
| now he found that he had committed himself to the following of a | |
| grail. He knew that Daisy was extraordinary, but he didn’t realize | |
| just how extraordinary a “nice” girl could be. She vanished into her | |
| rich house, into her rich, full life, leaving Gatsby—nothing. He felt | |
| married to her, that was all. | |
| When they met again, two days later, it was Gatsby who was breathless, | |
| who was, somehow, betrayed. Her porch was bright with the bought | |
| luxury of star-shine; the wicker of the settee squeaked fashionably as | |
| she turned toward him and he kissed her curious and lovely mouth. She | |
| had caught a cold, and it made her voice huskier and more charming | |
| than ever, and Gatsby was overwhelmingly aware of the youth and | |
| mystery that wealth imprisons and preserves, of the freshness of many | |
| clothes, and of Daisy, gleaming like silver, safe and proud above the | |
| hot struggles of the poor. | |
| ------------------------------------------------------------------------ | |
| “I can’t describe to you how surprised I was to find out I loved her, | |
| old sport. I even hoped for a while that she’d throw me over, but she | |
| didn’t, because she was in love with me too. She thought I knew a lot | |
| because I knew different things from her … Well, there I was, way off | |
| my ambitions, getting deeper in love every minute, and all of a sudden | |
| I didn’t care. What was the use of doing great things if I could have | |
| a better time telling her what I was going to do?” | |
| On the last afternoon before he went abroad, he sat with Daisy in his | |
| arms for a long, silent time. It was a cold fall day, with fire in the | |
| room and her cheeks flushed. Now and then she moved and he changed his | |
| arm a little, and once he kissed her dark shining hair. The afternoon | |
| had made them tranquil for a while, as if to give them a deep memory | |
| for the long parting the next day promised. They had never been closer | |
| in their month of love, nor communicated more profoundly one with | |
| another, than when she brushed silent lips against his coat’s shoulder | |
| or when he touched the end of her fingers, gently, as though she were | |
| asleep. | |
| ------------------------------------------------------------------------ | |
| He did extraordinarily well in the war. He was a captain before he | |
| went to the front, and following the Argonne battles he got his | |
| majority and the command of the divisional machine-guns. After the | |
| armistice he tried frantically to get home, but some complication or | |
| misunderstanding sent him to Oxford instead. He was worried now—there | |
| was a quality of nervous despair in Daisy’s letters. She didn’t see | |
| why he couldn’t come. She was feeling the pressure of the world | |
| outside, and she wanted to see him and feel his presence beside her | |
| and be reassured that she was doing the right thing after all. | |
| For Daisy was young and her artificial world was redolent of orchids | |
| and pleasant, cheerful snobbery and orchestras which set the rhythm of | |
| the year, summing up the sadness and suggestiveness of life in new | |
| tunes. All night the saxophones wailed the hopeless comment of the | |
| “Beale Street Blues” while a hundred pairs of golden and silver | |
| slippers shuffled the shining dust. At the grey tea hour there were | |
| always rooms that throbbed incessantly with this low, sweet fever, | |
| while fresh faces drifted here and there like rose petals blown by the | |
| sad horns around the floor. | |
| Through this twilight universe Daisy began to move again with the | |
| season; suddenly she was again keeping half a dozen dates a day with | |
| half a dozen men, and drowsing asleep at dawn with the beads and | |
| chiffon of an evening-dress tangled among dying orchids on the floor | |
| beside her bed. And all the time something within her was crying for a | |
| decision. She wanted her life shaped now, immediately—and the decision | |
| must be made by some force—of love, of money, of unquestionable | |
| practicality—that was close at hand. | |
| That force took shape in the middle of spring with the arrival of Tom | |
| Buchanan. There was a wholesome bulkiness about his person and his | |
| position, and Daisy was flattered. Doubtless there was a certain | |
| struggle and a certain relief. The letter reached Gatsby while he was | |
| still at Oxford. | |
| ------------------------------------------------------------------------ | |
| It was dawn now on Long Island and we went about opening the rest of | |
| the windows downstairs, filling the house with grey-turning, | |
| gold-turning light. The shadow of a tree fell abruptly across the dew | |
| and ghostly birds began to sing among the blue leaves. There was a | |
| slow, pleasant movement in the air, scarcely a wind, promising a cool, | |
| lovely day. | |
| “I don’t think she ever loved him.” Gatsby turned around from a window | |
| and looked at me challengingly. “You must remember, old sport, she was | |
| very excited this afternoon. He told her those things in a way that | |
| frightened her—that made it look as if I was some kind of cheap | |
| sharper. And the result was she hardly knew what she was saying.” | |
| He sat down gloomily. | |
| “Of course she might have loved him just for a minute, when they were | |
| first married—and loved me more even then, do you see?” | |
| Suddenly he came out with a curious remark. | |
| “In any case,” he said, “it was just personal.” | |
| What could you make of that, except to suspect some intensity in his | |
| conception of the affair that couldn’t be measured? | |
| He came back from France when Tom and Daisy were still on their | |
| wedding trip, and made a miserable but irresistible journey to | |
| Louisville on the last of his army pay. He stayed there a week, | |
| walking the streets where their footsteps had clicked together through | |
| the November night and revisiting the out-of-the-way places to which | |
| they had driven in her white car. Just as Daisy’s house had always | |
| seemed to him more mysterious and gay than other houses, so his idea | |
| of the city itself, even though she was gone from it, was pervaded | |
| with a melancholy beauty. | |
| He left feeling that if he had searched harder, he might have found | |
| her—that he was leaving her behind. The day-coach—he was penniless | |
| now—was hot. He went out to the open vestibule and sat down on a | |
| folding-chair, and the station slid away and the backs of unfamiliar | |
| buildings moved by. Then out into the spring fields, where a yellow | |
| trolley raced them for a minute with people in it who might once have | |
| seen the pale magic of her face along the casual street. | |
| The track curved and now it was going away from the sun, which, as it | |
| sank lower, seemed to spread itself in benediction over the vanishing | |
| city where she had drawn her breath. He stretched out his hand | |
| desperately as if to snatch only a wisp of air, to save a fragment of | |
| the spot that she had made lovely for him. But it was all going by too | |
| fast now for his blurred eyes and he knew that he had lost that part | |
| of it, the freshest and the best, forever. | |
| It was nine o’clock when we finished breakfast and went out on the | |
| porch. The night had made a sharp difference in the weather and there | |
| was an autumn flavour in the air. The gardener, the last one of | |
| Gatsby’s former servants, came to the foot of the steps. | |
| “I’m going to drain the pool today, Mr. Gatsby. Leaves’ll start | |
| falling pretty soon, and then there’s always trouble with the pipes.” | |
| “Don’t do it today,” Gatsby answered. He turned to me apologetically. | |
| “You know, old sport, I’ve never used that pool all summer?” | |
| I looked at my watch and stood up. | |
| “Twelve minutes to my train.” | |
| I didn’t want to go to the city. I wasn’t worth a decent stroke of | |
| work, but it was more than that—I didn’t want to leave Gatsby. I | |
| missed that train, and then another, before I could get myself away. | |
| “I’ll call you up,” I said finally. | |
| “Do, old sport.” | |
| “I’ll call you about noon.” | |
| We walked slowly down the steps. | |
| “I suppose Daisy’ll call too.” He looked at me anxiously, as if he | |
| hoped I’d corroborate this. | |
| “I suppose so.” | |
| “Well, goodbye.” | |
| We shook hands and I started away. Just before I reached the hedge I | |
| remembered something and turned around. | |
| “They’re a rotten crowd,” I shouted across the lawn. “You’re worth the | |
| whole damn bunch put together.” | |
| I’ve always been glad I said that. It was the only compliment I ever | |
| gave him, because I disapproved of him from beginning to end. First he | |
| nodded politely, and then his face broke into that radiant and | |
| understanding smile, as if we’d been in ecstatic cahoots on that fact | |
| all the time. His gorgeous pink rag of a suit made a bright spot of | |
| colour against the white steps, and I thought of the night when I | |
| first came to his ancestral home, three months before. The lawn and | |
| drive had been crowded with the faces of those who guessed at his | |
| corruption—and he had stood on those steps, concealing his | |
| incorruptible dream, as he waved them goodbye. | |
| I thanked him for his hospitality. We were always thanking him for | |
| that—I and the others. | |
| “Goodbye,” I called. “I enjoyed breakfast, Gatsby.” | |
| ------------------------------------------------------------------------ | |
| Up in the city, I tried for a while to list the quotations on an | |
| interminable amount of stock, then I fell asleep in my swivel-chair. | |
| Just before noon the phone woke me, and I started up with sweat | |
| breaking out on my forehead. It was Jordan Baker; she often called me | |
| up at this hour because the uncertainty of her own movements between | |
| hotels and clubs and private houses made her hard to find in any other | |
| way. Usually her voice came over the wire as something fresh and cool, | |
| as if a divot from a green golf-links had come sailing in at the | |
| office window, but this morning it seemed harsh and dry. | |
| “I’ve left Daisy’s house,” she said. “I’m at Hempstead, and I’m going | |
| down to Southampton this afternoon.” | |
| Probably it had been tactful to leave Daisy’s house, but the act | |
| annoyed me, and her next remark made me rigid. | |
| “You weren’t so nice to me last night.” | |
| “How could it have mattered then?” | |
| Silence for a moment. Then: | |
| “However—I want to see you.” | |
| “I want to see you, too.” | |
| “Suppose I don’t go to Southampton, and come into town this | |
| afternoon?” | |
| “No—I don’t think this afternoon.” | |
| “Very well.” | |
| “It’s impossible this afternoon. Various—” | |
| We talked like that for a while, and then abruptly we weren’t talking | |
| any longer. I don’t know which of us hung up with a sharp click, but I | |
| know I didn’t care. I couldn’t have talked to her across a tea-table | |
| that day if I never talked to her again in this world. | |
| I called Gatsby’s house a few minutes later, but the line was busy. I | |
| tried four times; finally an exasperated central told me the wire was | |
| being kept open for long distance from Detroit. Taking out my | |
| timetable, I drew a small circle around the three-fifty train. Then I | |
| leaned back in my chair and tried to think. It was just noon. | |
| ------------------------------------------------------------------------ | |
| When I passed the ash-heaps on the train that morning I had crossed | |
| deliberately to the other side of the car. I supposed there’d be a | |
| curious crowd around there all day with little boys searching for dark | |
| spots in the dust, and some garrulous man telling over and over what | |
| had happened, until it became less and less real even to him and he | |
| could tell it no longer, and Myrtle Wilson’s tragic achievement was | |
| forgotten. Now I want to go back a little and tell what happened at | |
| the garage after we left there the night before. | |
| They had difficulty in locating the sister, Catherine. She must have | |
| broken her rule against drinking that night, for when she arrived she | |
| was stupid with liquor and unable to understand that the ambulance had | |
| already gone to Flushing. When they convinced her of this, she | |
| immediately fainted, as if that was the intolerable part of the | |
| affair. Someone, kind or curious, took her in his car and drove her in | |
| the wake of her sister’s body. | |
| Until long after midnight a changing crowd lapped up against the front | |
| of the garage, while George Wilson rocked himself back and forth on | |
| the couch inside. For a while the door of the office was open, and | |
| everyone who came into the garage glanced irresistibly through it. | |
| Finally someone said it was a shame, and closed the door. Michaelis | |
| and several other men were with him; first, four or five men, later | |
| two or three men. Still later Michaelis had to ask the last stranger | |
| to wait there fifteen minutes longer, while he went back to his own | |
| place and made a pot of coffee. After that, he stayed there alone with | |
| Wilson until dawn. | |
| About three o’clock the quality of Wilson’s incoherent muttering | |
| changed—he grew quieter and began to talk about the yellow car. He | |
| announced that he had a way of finding out whom the yellow car | |
| belonged to, and then he blurted out that a couple of months ago his | |
| wife had come from the city with her face bruised and her nose | |
| swollen. | |
| But when he heard himself say this, he flinched and began to cry “Oh, | |
| my God!” again in his groaning voice. Michaelis made a clumsy attempt | |
| to distract him. | |
| “How long have you been married, George? Come on there, try and sit | |
| still a minute, and answer my question. How long have you been | |
| married?” | |
| “Twelve years.” | |
| “Ever had any children? Come on, George, sit still—I asked you a | |
| question. Did you ever have any children?” | |
| The hard brown beetles kept thudding against the dull light, and | |
| whenever Michaelis heard a car go tearing along the road outside it | |
| sounded to him like the car that hadn’t stopped a few hours before. | |
| He didn’t like to go into the garage, because the work bench was | |
| stained where the body had been lying, so he moved uncomfortably | |
| around the office—he knew every object in it before morning—and from | |
| time to time sat down beside Wilson trying to keep him more quiet. | |
| “Have you got a church you go to sometimes, George? Maybe even if you | |
| haven’t been there for a long time? Maybe I could call up the church | |
| and get a priest to come over and he could talk to you, see?” | |
| “Don’t belong to any.” | |
| “You ought to have a church, George, for times like this. You must | |
| have gone to church once. Didn’t you get married in a church? Listen, | |
| George, listen to me. Didn’t you get married in a church?” | |
| “That was a long time ago.” | |
| The effort of answering broke the rhythm of his rocking—for a moment | |
| he was silent. Then the same half-knowing, half-bewildered look came | |
| back into his faded eyes. | |
| “Look in the drawer there,” he said, pointing at the desk. | |
| “Which drawer?” | |
| “That drawer—that one.” | |
| Michaelis opened the drawer nearest his hand. There was nothing in it | |
| but a small, expensive dog-leash, made of leather and braided | |
| silver. It was apparently new. | |
| “This?” he inquired, holding it up. | |
| Wilson stared and nodded. | |
| “I found it yesterday afternoon. She tried to tell me about it, but I | |
| knew it was something funny.” | |
| “You mean your wife bought it?” | |
| “She had it wrapped in tissue paper on her bureau.” | |
| Michaelis didn’t see anything odd in that, and he gave Wilson a dozen | |
| reasons why his wife might have bought the dog-leash. But conceivably | |
| Wilson had heard some of these same explanations before, from Myrtle, | |
| because he began saying “Oh, my God!” again in a whisper—his comforter | |
| left several explanations in the air. | |
| “Then he killed her,” said Wilson. His mouth dropped open suddenly. | |
| “Who did?” | |
| “I have a way of finding out.” | |
| “You’re morbid, George,” said his friend. “This has been a strain to | |
| you and you don’t know what you’re saying. You’d better try and sit | |
| quiet till morning.” | |
| “He murdered her.” | |
| “It was an accident, George.” | |
| Wilson shook his head. His eyes narrowed and his mouth widened | |
| slightly with the ghost of a superior “Hm!” | |
| “I know,” he said definitely. “I’m one of these trusting fellas and I | |
| don’t think any harm to nobody, but when I get to know a thing I know | |
| it. It was the man in that car. She ran out to speak to him and he | |
| wouldn’t stop.” | |
| Michaelis had seen this too, but it hadn’t occurred to him that there | |
| was any special significance in it. He believed that Mrs. Wilson had | |
| been running away from her husband, rather than trying to stop any | |
| particular car. | |
| “How could she of been like that?” | |
| “She’s a deep one,” said Wilson, as if that answered the question. | |
| “Ah-h-h—” | |
| He began to rock again, and Michaelis stood twisting the leash in his | |
| hand. | |
| “Maybe you got some friend that I could telephone for, George?” | |
| This was a forlorn hope—he was almost sure that Wilson had no friend: | |
| there was not enough of him for his wife. He was glad a little later | |
| when he noticed a change in the room, a blue quickening by the window, | |
| and realized that dawn wasn’t far off. About five o’clock it was blue | |
| enough outside to snap off the light. | |
| Wilson’s glazed eyes turned out to the ash-heaps, where small grey | |
| clouds took on fantastic shapes and scurried here and there in the | |
| faint dawn wind. | |
| “I spoke to her,” he muttered, after a long silence. “I told her she | |
| might fool me but she couldn’t fool God. I took her to the | |
| window”—with an effort he got up and walked to the rear window and | |
| leaned with his face pressed against it—“and I said ‘God knows what | |
| you’ve been doing, everything you’ve been doing. You may fool me, but | |
| you can’t fool God!’ ” | |
| Standing behind him, Michaelis saw with a shock that he was looking at | |
| the eyes of Doctor T. J. Eckleburg, which had just emerged, pale and | |
| enormous, from the dissolving night. | |
| “God sees everything,” repeated Wilson. | |
| “That’s an advertisement,” Michaelis assured him. Something made him | |
| turn away from the window and look back into the room. But Wilson | |
| stood there a long time, his face close to the window pane, nodding | |
| into the twilight. | |
| ------------------------------------------------------------------------ | |
| By six o’clock Michaelis was worn out, and grateful for the sound of a | |
| car stopping outside. It was one of the watchers of the night before | |
| who had promised to come back, so he cooked breakfast for three, which | |
| he and the other man ate together. Wilson was quieter now, and | |
| Michaelis went home to sleep; when he awoke four hours later and | |
| hurried back to the garage, Wilson was gone. | |
| His movements—he was on foot all the time—were afterward traced to | |
| Port Roosevelt and then to Gad’s Hill, where he bought a sandwich that | |
| he didn’t eat, and a cup of coffee. He must have been tired and | |
| walking slowly, for he didn’t reach Gad’s Hill until noon. Thus far | |
| there was no difficulty in accounting for his time—there were boys who | |
| had seen a man “acting sort of crazy,” and motorists at whom he stared | |
| oddly from the side of the road. Then for three hours he disappeared | |
| from view. The police, on the strength of what he said to Michaelis, | |
| that he “had a way of finding out,” supposed that he spent that time | |
| going from garage to garage thereabout, inquiring for a yellow car. On | |
| the other hand, no garage man who had seen him ever came forward, and | |
| perhaps he had an easier, surer way of finding out what he wanted to | |
| know. By half-past two he was in West Egg, where he asked someone the | |
| way to Gatsby’s house. So by that time he knew Gatsby’s name. | |
| ------------------------------------------------------------------------ | |
| At two o’clock Gatsby put on his bathing-suit and left word with the | |
| butler that if anyone phoned word was to be brought to him at the | |
| pool. He stopped at the garage for a pneumatic mattress that had | |
| amused his guests during the summer, and the chauffeur helped him to | |
| pump it up. Then he gave instructions that the open car wasn’t to be | |
| taken out under any circumstances—and this was strange, because the | |
| front right fender needed repair. | |
| Gatsby shouldered the mattress and started for the pool. Once he | |
| stopped and shifted it a little, and the chauffeur asked him if he | |
| needed help, but he shook his head and in a moment disappeared among | |
| the yellowing trees. | |
| No telephone message arrived, but the butler went without his sleep | |
| and waited for it until four o’clock—until long after there was anyone | |
| to give it to if it came. I have an idea that Gatsby himself didn’t | |
| believe it would come, and perhaps he no longer cared. If that was | |
| true he must have felt that he had lost the old warm world, paid a | |
| high price for living too long with a single dream. He must have | |
| looked up at an unfamiliar sky through frightening leaves and shivered | |
| as he found what a grotesque thing a rose is and how raw the sunlight | |
| was upon the scarcely created grass. A new world, material without | |
| being real, where poor ghosts, breathing dreams like air, drifted | |
| fortuitously about … like that ashen, fantastic figure gliding toward | |
| him through the amorphous trees. | |
| The chauffeur—he was one of Wolfshiem’s protégés—heard the | |
| shots—afterwards he could only say that he hadn’t thought anything | |
| much about them. I drove from the station directly to Gatsby’s house | |
| and my rushing anxiously up the front steps was the first thing that | |
| alarmed anyone. But they knew then, I firmly believe. With scarcely a | |
| word said, four of us, the chauffeur, butler, gardener, and I hurried | |
| down to the pool. | |
| There was a faint, barely perceptible movement of the water as the | |
| fresh flow from one end urged its way toward the drain at the other. | |
| With little ripples that were hardly the shadows of waves, the laden | |
| mattress moved irregularly down the pool. A small gust of wind that | |
| scarcely corrugated the surface was enough to disturb its accidental | |
| course with its accidental burden. The touch of a cluster of leaves | |
| revolved it slowly, tracing, like the leg of transit, a thin red | |
| circle in the water. | |
| It was after we started with Gatsby toward the house that the gardener | |
| saw Wilson’s body a little way off in the grass, and the holocaust was | |
| complete. | |
| IX | |
| After two years I remember the rest of that day, and that night and | |
| the next day, only as an endless drill of police and photographers and | |
| newspaper men in and out of Gatsby’s front door. A rope stretched | |
| across the main gate and a policeman by it kept out the curious, but | |
| little boys soon discovered that they could enter through my yard, and | |
| there were always a few of them clustered open-mouthed about the | |
| pool. Someone with a positive manner, perhaps a detective, used the | |
| expression “madman” as he bent over Wilson’s body that afternoon, and | |
| the adventitious authority of his voice set the key for the newspaper | |
| reports next morning. | |
| Most of those reports were a nightmare—grotesque, circumstantial, | |
| eager, and untrue. When Michaelis’s testimony at the inquest brought | |
| to light Wilson’s suspicions of his wife I thought the whole tale | |
| would shortly be served up in racy pasquinade—but Catherine, who might | |
| have said anything, didn’t say a word. She showed a surprising amount | |
| of character about it too—looked at the coroner with determined eyes | |
| under that corrected brow of hers, and swore that her sister had never | |
| seen Gatsby, that her sister was completely happy with her husband, | |
| that her sister had been into no mischief whatever. She convinced | |
| herself of it, and cried into her handkerchief, as if the very | |
| suggestion was more than she could endure. So Wilson was reduced to a | |
| man “deranged by grief” in order that the case might remain in its | |
| simplest form. And it rested there. | |
| But all this part of it seemed remote and unessential. I found myself | |
| on Gatsby’s side, and alone. From the moment I telephoned news of the | |
| catastrophe to West Egg village, every surmise about him, and every | |
| practical question, was referred to me. At first I was surprised and | |
| confused; then, as he lay in his house and didn’t move or breathe or | |
| speak, hour upon hour, it grew upon me that I was responsible, because | |
| no one else was interested—interested, I mean, with that intense | |
| personal interest to which everyone has some vague right at the end. | |
| I called up Daisy half an hour after we found him, called her | |
| instinctively and without hesitation. But she and Tom had gone away | |
| early that afternoon, and taken baggage with them. | |
| “Left no address?” | |
| “No.” | |
| “Say when they’d be back?” | |
| “No.” | |
| “Any idea where they are? How I could reach them?” | |
| “I don’t know. Can’t say.” | |
| I wanted to get somebody for him. I wanted to go into the room where | |
| he lay and reassure him: “I’ll get somebody for you, Gatsby. Don’t | |
| worry. Just trust me and I’ll get somebody for you—” | |
| Meyer Wolfshiem’s name wasn’t in the phone book. The butler gave me | |
| his office address on Broadway, and I called Information, but by the | |
| time I had the number it was long after five, and no one answered the | |
| phone. | |
| “Will you ring again?” | |
| “I’ve rung three times.” | |
| “It’s very important.” | |
| “Sorry. I’m afraid no one’s there.” | |
| I went back to the drawing-room and thought for an instant that they | |
| were chance visitors, all these official people who suddenly filled | |
| it. But, though they drew back the sheet and looked at Gatsby with | |
| shocked eyes, his protest continued in my brain: | |
| “Look here, old sport, you’ve got to get somebody for me. You’ve got | |
| to try hard. I can’t go through this alone.” | |
| Someone started to ask me questions, but I broke away and going | |
| upstairs looked hastily through the unlocked parts of his desk—he’d | |
| never told me definitely that his parents were dead. But there was | |
| nothing—only the picture of Dan Cody, a token of forgotten violence, | |
| staring down from the wall. | |
| Next morning I sent the butler to New York with a letter to Wolfshiem, | |
| which asked for information and urged him to come out on the next | |
| train. That request seemed superfluous when I wrote it. I was sure | |
| he’d start when he saw the newspapers, just as I was sure there’d be a | |
| wire from Daisy before noon—but neither a wire nor Mr. Wolfshiem | |
| arrived; no one arrived except more police and photographers and | |
| newspaper men. When the butler brought back Wolfshiem’s answer I began | |
| to have a feeling of defiance, of scornful solidarity between Gatsby | |
| and me against them all. | |
| Dear Mr. Carraway. This has been one of the most terrible shocks of | |
| my life to me I hardly can believe it that it is true at all. Such a | |
| mad act as that man did should make us all think. I cannot come down | |
| now as I am tied up in some very important business and cannot get | |
| mixed up in this thing now. If there is anything I can do a little | |
| later let me know in a letter by Edgar. I hardly know where I am when | |
| I hear about a thing like this and am completely knocked down and | |
| out. | |
| Yours truly | |
| Meyer Wolfshiem | |
| and then hasty addenda beneath: | |
| Let me know about the funeral etc do not know his family at all. | |
| When the phone rang that afternoon and Long Distance said Chicago was | |
| calling I thought this would be Daisy at last. But the connection came | |
| through as a man’s voice, very thin and far away. | |
| “This is Slagle speaking …” | |
| “Yes?” The name was unfamiliar. | |
| “Hell of a note, isn’t it? Get my wire?” | |
| “There haven’t been any wires.” | |
| “Young Parke’s in trouble,” he said rapidly. “They picked him up when | |
| he handed the bonds over the counter. They got a circular from New | |
| York giving ’em the numbers just five minutes before. What d’you know | |
| about that, hey? You never can tell in these hick towns—” | |
| “Hello!” I interrupted breathlessly. “Look here—this isn’t Mr. | |
| Gatsby. Mr. Gatsby’s dead.” | |
| There was a long silence on the other end of the wire, followed by an | |
| exclamation … then a quick squawk as the connection was broken. | |
| ------------------------------------------------------------------------ | |
| I think it was on the third day that a telegram signed Henry C. Gatz | |
| arrived from a town in Minnesota. It said only that the sender was | |
| leaving immediately and to postpone the funeral until he came. | |
| It was Gatsby’s father, a solemn old man, very helpless and dismayed, | |
| bundled up in a long cheap ulster against the warm September day. His | |
| eyes leaked continuously with excitement, and when I took the bag and | |
| umbrella from his hands he began to pull so incessantly at his sparse | |
| grey beard that I had difficulty in getting off his coat. He was on | |
| the point of collapse, so I took him into the music-room and made him | |
| sit down while I sent for something to eat. But he wouldn’t eat, and | |
| the glass of milk spilled from his trembling hand. | |
| “I saw it in the Chicago newspaper,” he said. “It was all in the | |
| Chicago newspaper. I started right away.” | |
| “I didn’t know how to reach you.” | |
| His eyes, seeing nothing, moved ceaselessly about the room. | |
| “It was a madman,” he said. “He must have been mad.” | |
| “Wouldn’t you like some coffee?” I urged him. | |
| “I don’t want anything. I’m all right now, Mr.—” | |
| “Carraway.” | |
| “Well, I’m all right now. Where have they got Jimmy?” | |
| I took him into the drawing-room, where his son lay, and left him | |
| there. Some little boys had come up on the steps and were looking into | |
| the hall; when I told them who had arrived, they went reluctantly | |
| away. | |
| After a little while Mr. Gatz opened the door and came out, his mouth | |
| ajar, his face flushed slightly, his eyes leaking isolated and | |
| unpunctual tears. He had reached an age where death no longer has the | |
| quality of ghastly surprise, and when he looked around him now for the | |
| first time and saw the height and splendour of the hall and the great | |
| rooms opening out from it into other rooms, his grief began to be | |
| mixed with an awed pride. I helped him to a bedroom upstairs; while he | |
| took off his coat and vest I told him that all arrangements had been | |
| deferred until he came. | |
| “I didn’t know what you’d want, Mr. Gatsby—” | |
| “Gatz is my name.” | |
| “—Mr. Gatz. I thought you might want to take the body West.” | |
| He shook his head. | |
| “Jimmy always liked it better down East. He rose up to his position in | |
| the East. Were you a friend of my boy’s, Mr.—?” | |
| “We were close friends.” | |
| “He had a big future before him, you know. He was only a young man, | |
| but he had a lot of brain power here.” | |
| He touched his head impressively, and I nodded. | |
| “If he’d of lived, he’d of been a great man. A man like James J. | |
| Hill. He’d of helped build up the country.” | |
| “That’s true,” I said, uncomfortably. | |
| He fumbled at the embroidered coverlet, trying to take it from the | |
| bed, and lay down stiffly—was instantly asleep. | |
| That night an obviously frightened person called up, and demanded to | |
| know who I was before he would give his name. | |
| “This is Mr. Carraway,” I said. | |
| “Oh!” He sounded relieved. “This is Klipspringer.” | |
| I was relieved too, for that seemed to promise another friend at | |
| Gatsby’s grave. I didn’t want it to be in the papers and draw a | |
| sightseeing crowd, so I’d been calling up a few people myself. They | |
| were hard to find. | |
| “The funeral’s tomorrow,” I said. “Three o’clock, here at the house. | |
| I wish you’d tell anybody who’d be interested.” | |
| “Oh, I will,” he broke out hastily. “Of course I’m not likely to see | |
| anybody, but if I do.” | |
| His tone made me suspicious. | |
| “Of course you’ll be there yourself.” | |
| “Well, I’ll certainly try. What I called up about is—” | |
| “Wait a minute,” I interrupted. “How about saying you’ll come?” | |
| “Well, the fact is—the truth of the matter is that I’m staying with | |
| some people up here in Greenwich, and they rather expect me to be with | |
| them tomorrow. In fact, there’s a sort of picnic or something. Of | |
| course I’ll do my best to get away.” | |
| I ejaculated an unrestrained “Huh!” and he must have heard me, for he | |
| went on nervously: | |
| “What I called up about was a pair of shoes I left there. I wonder if | |
| it’d be too much trouble to have the butler send them on. You see, | |
| they’re tennis shoes, and I’m sort of helpless without them. My | |
| address is care of B. F.—” | |
| I didn’t hear the rest of the name, because I hung up the receiver. | |
| After that I felt a certain shame for Gatsby—one gentleman to whom I | |
| telephoned implied that he had got what he deserved. However, that was | |
| my fault, for he was one of those who used to sneer most bitterly at | |
| Gatsby on the courage of Gatsby’s liquor, and I should have known | |
| better than to call him. | |
| The morning of the funeral I went up to New York to see Meyer | |
| Wolfshiem; I couldn’t seem to reach him any other way. The door that I | |
| pushed open, on the advice of an elevator boy, was marked “The | |
| Swastika Holding Company,” and at first there didn’t seem to be anyone | |
| inside. But when I’d shouted “hello” several times in vain, an | |
| argument broke out behind a partition, and presently a lovely Jewess | |
| appeared at an interior door and scrutinized me with black hostile | |
| eyes. | |
| “Nobody’s in,” she said. “Mr. Wolfshiem’s gone to Chicago.” | |
| The first part of this was obviously untrue, for someone had begun to | |
| whistle “The Rosary,” tunelessly, inside. | |
| “Please say that Mr. Carraway wants to see him.” | |
| “I can’t get him back from Chicago, can I?” | |
| At this moment a voice, unmistakably Wolfshiem’s, called “Stella!” | |
| from the other side of the door. | |
| “Leave your name on the desk,” she said quickly. “I’ll give it to him | |
| when he gets back.” | |
| “But I know he’s there.” | |
| She took a step toward me and began to slide her hands indignantly up | |
| and down her hips. | |
| “You young men think you can force your way in here any time,” she | |
| scolded. “We’re getting sickantired of it. When I say he’s in Chicago, | |
| he’s in Chicago.” | |
| I mentioned Gatsby. | |
| “Oh-h!” She looked at me over again. “Will you just—What was your | |
| name?” | |
| She vanished. In a moment Meyer Wolfshiem stood solemnly in the | |
| doorway, holding out both hands. He drew me into his office, remarking | |
| in a reverent voice that it was a sad time for all of us, and offered | |
| me a cigar. | |
| “My memory goes back to when first I met him,” he said. “A young major | |
| just out of the army and covered over with medals he got in the war. | |
| He was so hard up he had to keep on wearing his uniform because he | |
| couldn’t buy some regular clothes. First time I saw him was when he | |
| came into Winebrenner’s poolroom at Forty-third Street and asked for a | |
| job. He hadn’t eat anything for a couple of days. ‘Come on have some | |
| lunch with me,’ I said. He ate more than four dollars’ worth of food | |
| in half an hour.” | |
| “Did you start him in business?” I inquired. | |
| “Start him! I made him.” | |
| “Oh.” | |
| “I raised him up out of nothing, right out of the gutter. I saw right | |
| away he was a fine-appearing, gentlemanly young man, and when he told | |
| me he was at Oggsford I knew I could use him good. I got him to join | |
| the American Legion and he used to stand high there. Right off he did | |
| some work for a client of mine up to Albany. We were so thick like | |
| that in everything”—he held up two bulbous fingers—“always together.” | |
| I wondered if this partnership had included the World’s Series | |
| transaction in 1919. | |
| “Now he’s dead,” I said after a moment. “You were his closest friend, | |
| so I know you’ll want to come to his funeral this afternoon.” | |
| “I’d like to come.” | |
| “Well, come then.” | |
| The hair in his nostrils quivered slightly, and as he shook his head | |
| his eyes filled with tears. | |
| “I can’t do it—I can’t get mixed up in it,” he said. | |
| “There’s nothing to get mixed up in. It’s all over now.” | |
| “When a man gets killed I never like to get mixed up in it in any | |
| way. I keep out. When I was a young man it was different—if a friend | |
| of mine died, no matter how, I stuck with them to the end. You may | |
| think that’s sentimental, but I mean it—to the bitter end.” | |
| I saw that for some reason of his own he was determined not to come, | |
| so I stood up. | |
| “Are you a college man?” he inquired suddenly. | |
| For a moment I thought he was going to suggest a “gonnegtion,” but he | |
| only nodded and shook my hand. | |
| “Let us learn to show our friendship for a man when he is alive and | |
| not after he is dead,” he suggested. “After that my own rule is to let | |
| everything alone.” | |
| When I left his office the sky had turned dark and I got back to West | |
| Egg in a drizzle. After changing my clothes I went next door and found | |
| Mr. Gatz walking up and down excitedly in the hall. His pride in his | |
| son and in his son’s possessions was continually increasing and now he | |
| had something to show me. | |
| “Jimmy sent me this picture.” He took out his wallet with trembling | |
| fingers. “Look there.” | |
| It was a photograph of the house, cracked in the corners and dirty | |
| with many hands. He pointed out every detail to me eagerly. “Look | |
| there!” and then sought admiration from my eyes. He had shown it so | |
| often that I think it was more real to him now than the house itself. | |
| “Jimmy sent it to me. I think it’s a very pretty picture. It shows up | |
| well.” | |
| “Very well. Had you seen him lately?” | |
| “He come out to see me two years ago and bought me the house I live in | |
| now. Of course we was broke up when he run off from home, but I see | |
| now there was a reason for it. He knew he had a big future in front of | |
| him. And ever since he made a success he was very generous with me.” | |
| He seemed reluctant to put away the picture, held it for another | |
| minute, lingeringly, before my eyes. Then he returned the wallet and | |
| pulled from his pocket a ragged old copy of a book called Hopalong | |
| Cassidy. | |
| “Look here, this is a book he had when he was a boy. It just shows | |
| you.” | |
| He opened it at the back cover and turned it around for me to see. On | |
| the last flyleaf was printed the word schedule, and the date September | |
| 12, 1906. And underneath: | |
| Rise from bed 6:00 a.m. | |
| Dumbell exercise and wall-scaling 6:15-6:30 ” | |
| Study electricity, etc. 7:15-8:15 ” | |
| Work 8:30-4:30 p.m. | |
| Baseball and sports 4:30-5:00 ” | |
| Practise elocution, poise and how to attain it 5:00-6:00 ” | |
| Study needed inventions 7:00-9:00 ” | |
| General Resolves | |
| * No wasting time at Shafters or [a name, indecipherable] | |
| * No more smokeing or chewing. | |
| * Bath every other day | |
| * Read one improving book or magazine per week | |
| * Save $5.00 [crossed out] $3.00 per week | |
| * Be better to parents | |
| “I came across this book by accident,” said the old man. “It just | |
| shows you, don’t it?” | |
| “It just shows you.” | |
| “Jimmy was bound to get ahead. He always had some resolves like this | |
| or something. Do you notice what he’s got about improving his mind? He | |
| was always great for that. He told me I et like a hog once, and I beat | |
| him for it.” | |
| He was reluctant to close the book, reading each item aloud and then | |
| looking eagerly at me. I think he rather expected me to copy down the | |
| list for my own use. | |
| A little before three the Lutheran minister arrived from Flushing, and | |
| I began to look involuntarily out the windows for other cars. So did | |
| Gatsby’s father. And as the time passed and the servants came in and | |
| stood waiting in the hall, his eyes began to blink anxiously, and he | |
| spoke of the rain in a worried, uncertain way. The minister glanced | |
| several times at his watch, so I took him aside and asked him to wait | |
| for half an hour. But it wasn’t any use. Nobody came. | |
| ------------------------------------------------------------------------ | |
| About five o’clock our procession of three cars reached the cemetery | |
| and stopped in a thick drizzle beside the gate—first a motor hearse, | |
| horribly black and wet, then Mr. Gatz and the minister and me in the | |
| limousine, and a little later four or five servants and the postman | |
| from West Egg, in Gatsby’s station wagon, all wet to the skin. As we | |
| started through the gate into the cemetery I heard a car stop and then | |
| the sound of someone splashing after us over the soggy ground. I | |
| looked around. It was the man with owl-eyed glasses whom I had found | |
| marvelling over Gatsby’s books in the library one night three months | |
| before. | |
| I’d never seen him since then. I don’t know how he knew about the | |
| funeral, or even his name. The rain poured down his thick glasses, and | |
| he took them off and wiped them to see the protecting canvas unrolled | |
| from Gatsby’s grave. | |
| I tried to think about Gatsby then for a moment, but he was already | |
| too far away, and I could only remember, without resentment, that | |
| Daisy hadn’t sent a message or a flower. Dimly I heard someone murmur | |
| “Blessed are the dead that the rain falls on,” and then the owl-eyed | |
| man said “Amen to that,” in a brave voice. | |
| We straggled down quickly through the rain to the cars. Owl-eyes spoke | |
| to me by the gate. | |
| “I couldn’t get to the house,” he remarked. | |
| “Neither could anybody else.” | |
| “Go on!” He started. “Why, my God! they used to go there by the | |
| hundreds.” | |
| He took off his glasses and wiped them again, outside and in. | |
| “The poor son-of-a-bitch,” he said. | |
| ------------------------------------------------------------------------ | |
| One of my most vivid memories is of coming back West from prep school | |
| and later from college at Christmas time. Those who went farther than | |
| Chicago would gather in the old dim Union Station at six o’clock of a | |
| December evening, with a few Chicago friends, already caught up into | |
| their own holiday gaieties, to bid them a hasty goodbye. I remember | |
| the fur coats of the girls returning from Miss This-or-That’s and the | |
| chatter of frozen breath and the hands waving overhead as we caught | |
| sight of old acquaintances, and the matchings of invitations: “Are you | |
| going to the Ordways’? the Herseys’? the Schultzes’?” and the long | |
| green tickets clasped tight in our gloved hands. And last the murky | |
| yellow cars of the Chicago, Milwaukee and St. Paul railroad looking | |
| cheerful as Christmas itself on the tracks beside the gate. | |
| When we pulled out into the winter night and the real snow, our snow, | |
| began to stretch out beside us and twinkle against the windows, and | |
| the dim lights of small Wisconsin stations moved by, a sharp wild | |
| brace came suddenly into the air. We drew in deep breaths of it as we | |
| walked back from dinner through the cold vestibules, unutterably aware | |
| of our identity with this country for one strange hour, before we | |
| melted indistinguishably into it again. | |
| That’s my Middle West—not the wheat or the prairies or the lost Swede | |
| towns, but the thrilling returning trains of my youth, and the street | |
| lamps and sleigh bells in the frosty dark and the shadows of holly | |
| wreaths thrown by lighted windows on the snow. I am part of that, a | |
| little solemn with the feel of those long winters, a little complacent | |
| from growing up in the Carraway house in a city where dwellings are | |
| still called through decades by a family’s name. I see now that this | |
| has been a story of the West, after all—Tom and Gatsby, Daisy and | |
| Jordan and I, were all Westerners, and perhaps we possessed some | |
| deficiency in common which made us subtly unadaptable to Eastern life. | |
| Even when the East excited me most, even when I was most keenly aware | |
| of its superiority to the bored, sprawling, swollen towns beyond the | |
| Ohio, with their interminable inquisitions which spared only the | |
| children and the very old—even then it had always for me a quality of | |
| distortion. West Egg, especially, still figures in my more fantastic | |
| dreams. I see it as a night scene by El Greco: a hundred houses, at | |
| once conventional and grotesque, crouching under a sullen, overhanging | |
| sky and a lustreless moon. In the foreground four solemn men in dress | |
| suits are walking along the sidewalk with a stretcher on which lies a | |
| drunken woman in a white evening dress. Her hand, which dangles over | |
| the side, sparkles cold with jewels. Gravely the men turn in at a | |
| house—the wrong house. But no one knows the woman’s name, and no one | |
| cares. | |
| After Gatsby’s death the East was haunted for me like that, distorted | |
| beyond my eyes’ power of correction. So when the blue smoke of brittle | |
| leaves was in the air and the wind blew the wet laundry stiff on the | |
| line I decided to come back home. | |
| There was one thing to be done before I left, an awkward, unpleasant | |
| thing that perhaps had better have been let alone. But I wanted to | |
| leave things in order and not just trust that obliging and indifferent | |
| sea to sweep my refuse away. I saw Jordan Baker and talked over and | |
| around what had happened to us together, and what had happened | |
| afterward to me, and she lay perfectly still, listening, in a big | |
| chair. | |
| She was dressed to play golf, and I remember thinking she looked like | |
| a good illustration, her chin raised a little jauntily, her hair the | |
| colour of an autumn leaf, her face the same brown tint as the | |
| fingerless glove on her knee. When I had finished she told me without | |
| comment that she was engaged to another man. I doubted that, though | |
| there were several she could have married at a nod of her head, but I | |
| pretended to be surprised. For just a minute I wondered if I wasn’t | |
| making a mistake, then I thought it all over again quickly and got up | |
| to say goodbye. | |
| “Nevertheless you did throw me over,” said Jordan suddenly. “You threw | |
| me over on the telephone. I don’t give a damn about you now, but it | |
| was a new experience for me, and I felt a little dizzy for a while.” | |
| We shook hands. | |
| “Oh, and do you remember”—she added—“a conversation we had once about | |
| driving a car?” | |
| “Why—not exactly.” | |
| “You said a bad driver was only safe until she met another bad driver? | |
| Well, I met another bad driver, didn’t I? I mean it was careless of me | |
| to make such a wrong guess. I thought you were rather an honest, | |
| straightforward person. I thought it was your secret pride.” | |
| “I’m thirty,” I said. “I’m five years too old to lie to myself and | |
| call it honour.” | |
| She didn’t answer. Angry, and half in love with her, and tremendously | |
| sorry, I turned away. | |
| ------------------------------------------------------------------------ | |
| One afternoon late in October I saw Tom Buchanan. He was walking ahead | |
| of me along Fifth Avenue in his alert, aggressive way, his hands out a | |
| little from his body as if to fight off interference, his head moving | |
| sharply here and there, adapting itself to his restless eyes. Just as | |
| I slowed up to avoid overtaking him he stopped and began frowning into | |
| the windows of a jewellery store. Suddenly he saw me and walked back, | |
| holding out his hand. | |
| “What’s the matter, Nick? Do you object to shaking hands with me?” | |
| “Yes. You know what I think of you.” | |
| “You’re crazy, Nick,” he said quickly. “Crazy as hell. I don’t know | |
| what’s the matter with you.” | |
| “Tom,” I inquired, “what did you say to Wilson that afternoon?” | |
| He stared at me without a word, and I knew I had guessed right about | |
| those missing hours. I started to turn away, but he took a step after | |
| me and grabbed my arm. | |
| “I told him the truth,” he said. “He came to the door while we were | |
| getting ready to leave, and when I sent down word that we weren’t in | |
| he tried to force his way upstairs. He was crazy enough to kill me if | |
| I hadn’t told him who owned the car. His hand was on a revolver in his | |
| pocket every minute he was in the house—” He broke off defiantly. | |
| “What if I did tell him? That fellow had it coming to him. He threw | |
| dust into your eyes just like he did in Daisy’s, but he was a tough | |
| one. He ran over Myrtle like you’d run over a dog and never even | |
| stopped his car.” | |
| There was nothing I could say, except the one unutterable fact that it | |
| wasn’t true. | |
| “And if you think I didn’t have my share of suffering—look here, when | |
| I went to give up that flat and saw that damn box of dog biscuits | |
| sitting there on the sideboard, I sat down and cried like a baby. By | |
| God it was awful—” | |
| I couldn’t forgive him or like him, but I saw that what he had done | |
| was, to him, entirely justified. It was all very careless and | |
| confused. They were careless people, Tom and Daisy—they smashed up | |
| things and creatures and then retreated back into their money or their | |
| vast carelessness, or whatever it was that kept them together, and let | |
| other people clean up the mess they had made … | |
| I shook hands with him; it seemed silly not to, for I felt suddenly as | |
| though I were talking to a child. Then he went into the jewellery | |
| store to buy a pearl necklace—or perhaps only a pair of cuff | |
| buttons—rid of my provincial squeamishness forever. | |
| ------------------------------------------------------------------------ | |
| Gatsby’s house was still empty when I left—the grass on his lawn had | |
| grown as long as mine. One of the taxi drivers in the village never | |
| took a fare past the entrance gate without stopping for a minute and | |
| pointing inside; perhaps it was he who drove Daisy and Gatsby over to | |
| East Egg the night of the accident, and perhaps he had made a story | |
| about it all his own. I didn’t want to hear it and I avoided him when | |
| I got off the train. | |
| I spent my Saturday nights in New York because those gleaming, | |
| dazzling parties of his were with me so vividly that I could still | |
| hear the music and the laughter, faint and incessant, from his garden, | |
| and the cars going up and down his drive. One night I did hear a | |
| material car there, and saw its lights stop at his front steps. But I | |
| didn’t investigate. Probably it was some final guest who had been away | |
| at the ends of the earth and didn’t know that the party was over. | |
| On the last night, with my trunk packed and my car sold to the grocer, | |
| I went over and looked at that huge incoherent failure of a house once | |
| more. On the white steps an obscene word, scrawled by some boy with a | |
| piece of brick, stood out clearly in the moonlight, and I erased it, | |
| drawing my shoe raspingly along the stone. Then I wandered down to the | |
| beach and sprawled out on the sand. | |
| Most of the big shore places were closed now and there were hardly any | |
| lights except the shadowy, moving glow of a ferryboat across the | |
| Sound. And as the moon rose higher the inessential houses began to | |
| melt away until gradually I became aware of the old island here that | |
| flowered once for Dutch sailors’ eyes—a fresh, green breast of the new | |
| world. Its vanished trees, the trees that had made way for Gatsby’s | |
| house, had once pandered in whispers to the last and greatest of all | |
| human dreams; for a transitory enchanted moment man must have held his | |
| breath in the presence of this continent, compelled into an aesthetic | |
| contemplation he neither understood nor desired, face to face for the | |
| last time in history with something commensurate to his capacity for | |
| wonder. | |
| And as I sat there brooding on the old, unknown world, I thought of | |
| Gatsby’s wonder when he first picked out the green light at the end of | |
| Daisy’s dock. He had come a long way to this blue lawn, and his dream | |
| must have seemed so close that he could hardly fail to grasp it. He | |
| did not know that it was already behind him, somewhere back in that | |
| vast obscurity beyond the city, where the dark fields of the republic | |
| rolled on under the night. | |
| Gatsby believed in the green light, the orgastic future that year by | |
| year recedes before us. It eluded us then, but that’s no | |
| matter—tomorrow we will run faster, stretch out our arms further … And | |
| one fine morning— | |
| So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into | |
| the past. |