SeppeV/most_used_topics_scoutlife_jokes · Datasets at Hugging Face

topic stringclasses 5 values	joke stringlengths 46 533	__index_level_0__ int64 2.43k 4.61k
Knock Knock jokes	Brody: Knock, knock. Henry: Who’s there? Brody: Cash. Henry: Cash, who? Brody: No, thanks,but I’ll have a peanut.	2,434
Knock Knock jokes	KUSH: Knock, knock. AVERY: Who’s there? KUSH: Ben. AVERY: Ben, who? KUSH: Ben knocking so long that my hand hurts. Let me in, already!	2,435
Knock Knock jokes	Benjamin: Knock, knock. Peter: Who’s there? Benjamin: Arya. Peter: Arya, who? Benjamin: Arya going to open the door?	2,436
Knock Knock jokes	Quinn: Knock, knock. Ron: Who’s there? Quinn: Jess. Ron: Jess, who? Quinn: Jess me and my shadow.	2,437
Knock Knock jokes	RAAGHAV: Knock, knock. JIM: Who’s there? RAAGHAV: Water. JIM: Water, who? RAAGHAV: Water you telling jokes for right now? Don’t you have things to do?	2,438
Knock Knock jokes	Jeffrey: Knock, knock. Joseph: Who’s there? Jeffrey: Woo. Joseph: Woo, who? Jeffrey: What are you cheering for? We didn’t win a medal.	2,439
Knock Knock jokes	KYLE: Knock, knock. TREY: Who’s there? KYLE: Yodel ye. TREY: Yodel ye, who? KYLE: I didn’t know you could yodel.	2,440
Knock Knock jokes	Louie: Knock, knock. Levi: Who’s there? Louie: Carrie. Levi: Carrie, who? Louie: Carrie this tent to the campsite, please.	2,441
Knock Knock jokes	Henry: Knock, knock. Cindy: Who’s there? Henry: Cows go who. Cindy: Cows go who, who? Henry: No, silly! Cows go moo.	2,442
Knock Knock jokes	Charlie: Knock, knock. Toya: Who’s there? Charlie: Ice cream soda. Toya: Ice cream soda, who? Charlie: Ice cream soda people can hear me.	2,443
Knock Knock jokes	Olivia: Knock, knock. Brendan: Who’s there? Olivia: Beets. Brendan: Beets,who? Olivia: Beats me!	2,444
Knock Knock jokes	LEIF: Knock, knock. PERRIN: Who’s there? LEIF: Repeat. PERRIN: Repeat, who? LEIF: Who, who, who.	2,445
Knock Knock jokes	Jackson: Knock, knock. Steele: Who’s there? Jackson: Nana. Steele: Nana, who? Jackson: Nana your business.	2,446
Knock Knock jokes	XAVIER: Knock, knock. JON: Who’s there? XAVIER: Sawyer. JON: Sawyer, who? XAVIER: Sawyer picture on a wanted a poster.	2,447
Knock Knock jokes	Chloe: Knock, knock. Trina: Who’s there? Chloe: Anita. Trina: Anita, who? Chloe: Anita bath!	2,448
Knock Knock jokes	Justin: Knock, knock. Cory: Who’s there? Justin: Cargo. Cory: Cargo, who? Justin: Cargo in the garage.	2,449
Knock Knock jokes	Zayn: Knock, knock. Willy: Who’s there? Zayn: Alpaca. Willy: Alpaca, who? Zayn: Alpaca the suitcase. You load up the car.	2,450
Knock Knock jokes	Riya: Knock, knock. Bridget: Who’s there? Riya: Oh, hi. Bridget: Oh, hi,who? Riya: No! It’s Ohio.	2,451
Knock Knock jokes	LEIF: Knock, knock. PERRIN: Who’s there? LEIF: Repeat. PERRIN:Repeat, who? LEIF: Who, who, who.”	2,452
Knock Knock jokes	Joe: Knock, knock. Troy: Who’s there? Joe: Mikey. Troy: Mikey, who? Joe: Mikey doesn’t fit in the keyhole.	2,453
Knock Knock jokes	Leland: Knock, knock. Silas: Who’s there? Leland: Figs. Silas: Figs, who? Leland: Figs the doorbell. I’ve been knocking forever.	2,454
Knock Knock jokes	William: Knock, knock Bill: Who’s there? William: Will. Bill: Will, who? William: Will you open the door already?	2,455
Knock Knock jokes	CYRUS: Knock, knock. CARSON: Who’s there? CYRUS: Toodle. CARSON: Toodle, who? CYRUS: I didn’t know you were going somewhere.	2,456
Knock Knock jokes	MIKAIAH: Knock, knock. SHILOH: Who’s there? MIKAIAH: Knock, knock. SHILOH: Knock, knock, who? MIKAIAH: It’s me! I’m still knocking. Let me in.	2,457
Knock Knock jokes	Reed: Knock, knock. Alyssa: Who’s there? Reed: Cargos. Alyssa: Cargos, who? Reed: Cargos in the garage.	2,458
Knock Knock jokes	Miles: Knock, knock. Josh: Who’s there? Miles: Figs. Josh: Figs, who? Miles: Figs the door — it’s broken.	2,459
Knock Knock jokes	Augustine: Knock, knock. Athanasius: Who’s there? Augustine: Yukon. Athanasius: Yukon, who? Augustine: Yukon say that again!	2,460
Knock Knock jokes	Chris: Knock, knock. Alex: Who’s there? Chris: Canoe. Alex: Canoe, who? Chris: Canoe open the door?	2,461
Knock Knock jokes	Augustine: Knock, knock. Thomas: Who’s there? Augustine: Figs. Thomas: Figs, who? Augustine: Figs the doorbell — it’s broken!	2,462
Knock Knock jokes	CONNOR: Knock, knock. PETER: Who’s there? CONNOR: King Tut. PETER: King Tut, who? CONNOR: King-Tut-key fried chicken.	2,463
Knock Knock jokes	Augustine: Knock, knock. Ambrose: Who’s there? Augustine: Cargo. Ambrose: Cargo, who? Augustine: No, cargo beep-beep!	2,464
Knock Knock jokes	Benjamin: Knock, knock. Josh: Who’s there? Benjamin: Dishes. Josh: Dishes, who? Benjamin: Dishes a very bad joke.	2,465
Knock Knock jokes	Tanay: Knock, knock. Dad: Who’s there? Tanay: Boo. Dad: Boo, who? Tanay: Why are you crying?!	2,466
Knock Knock jokes	Jeremy: Knock, knock. Bill: Who’s there? Jeremy: Luke. Bill: Luke, who? Jeremy: Luke through the peephole and you will see.	2,467
Knock Knock jokes	ASA: Knock, knock. CINDY: Who’s there? ASA: Wendy. CINDY: Wendy, who? ASA: Wendy wind blows, the cradle will rock.	2,468
Knock Knock jokes	Ben: How come there’s no knock- knock joke about America? John: No idea. Ben: Because freedom rings.	2,469
Knock Knock jokes	AXEL: Knock, knock. BEN: Who’s there? AXEL: Tank. BEN: Tank, who? AXEL: You’re welcome!	2,470
Knock Knock jokes	Charlie: Knock, knock. Samuel: Who’s there? Charlie: Hatch. Samuel: Hatch, who? Charlie: Bless you!	2,471
Knock Knock jokes	PATRICK: Knock, knock. BRADY: Who’s there? PATRICK: Candice. BRADY: Candice, who? PATRICK: Candice door open or am I stuck here?	2,472
Knock Knock jokes	Alex: Knock, knock. Billy: Who’s there? Alex: Woo. Billy: Woo, who? Alex: Don’t get too excited — it’s just a joke!	2,473
Knock Knock jokes	Jeremy: Knock, knock. Chris: Who’s there? Jeremy: Beth. Chris: Beth, who? Jeremy: Thank you, but I didn’t sneeze!	2,474
Knock Knock jokes	JAMES: Knock, knock. NATE: Who’s there? JAMES: You. NATE: You, who? JAMES: Cool! I love chocolate drinks!	2,475
Knock Knock jokes	Chris: Knock, knock. Zach: Who’s there? Chris: Owls. Zach: Owls, who? Chris: Yes, they do!	2,476
Knock Knock jokes	Jeff: Knock, knock. Joe: Who’s there? Jeff: Boo. Joe: Boo, who? Jeff: Don’t cry; it’s just a joke!	2,477
Knock Knock jokes	PEDRO: Will you remember my name in an hour? PEE WEE: Sure. PEDRO: Will you remember my name in a minute? PEE WEE: Yes. PEDRO: Will you remember my name in a second? PEE WEE: Of course. PEDRO: Knock, knock. PEE WEE: Who’s there? PEDRO: You didn’t remember my name!	2,478
Knock Knock jokes	Chris: Knock, knock. Zach: Who’s there? Chris: Owls. Zach: Owls, who? Chris: Yes, they do!	2,479
Knock Knock jokes	Ryan: Knock, knock. Jake: Who’s there? Ryan: Sherlock. Jake: Sherlock, who? Ryan: Sher-lock is broken. Let me in!	2,480
Knock Knock jokes	Tim: Knock, knock. Chase: Who’s there? Tim: Doris. Chase: Doris, who? Tim: Doris locked. That’s why I’m knocking.	2,481
Knock Knock jokes	Noah: Knock, knock. Fred: Who’s there? Noah: Ida. Fred: Ida, who? Noah: No. It’s Idaho.	2,482
Knock Knock jokes	George: Knock, knock. Kent: Who’s there? George: Sadie. Kent: Sadie, who? George: Sadie Pledge of Allegiance. It’s the Fourth of July!	2,483
Knock Knock jokes	Mike: Knock, knock. Rick: Who’s there? Mike: Wanda. Rick: Wanda, who? Mike: Wanda come play outside?	2,484
Knock Knock jokes	Kartik: Knock, knock. Jimmy: Who’s there? Kartik: Theodore. Jimmy: Theodore, who? Kartik: Theodore is locked. Let me in.	2,485
Knock Knock jokes	Joe: Knock, knock. Troy: Who’s there? Joe: Mikey. Troy: Mikey, who? Joe: Mikey doesn’t ﬁt in the key hole.	2,486
Knock Knock jokes	Joe: Knock, knock. Troy: Who’s there? Joe: Mikey. Troy: Mikey, who? Joe: Mikey doesn’t ﬁt in the key hole.	2,487
Knock Knock jokes	Alex: Knock, knock. Mom: Who’s there? Alex: Will. Mom: Will, who? Alex: Will you let me in? It’s cold out here.	2,488
Knock Knock jokes	Corey: Knock, knock. Ethan: Who’s there? Corey: The doorbell repairman.	2,489
Money jokes	EDWARD: Why did the baker need to work so hard? MICHAEL: I’m stumped. EDWARD: Because he had to make some dough.	2,802
Money jokes	CANNEN: What is it called when you raise money for a bush? LISA: I’m stumped. CANNEN: A hedge fund.	2,803
Money jokes	SIMEON: Where do snowmen keep their money? SARAH: I don’t know. SIMEON: The snowbank.	2,804
Money jokes	WARPED WISEMAN WONDERS: “If time is money, then is an ATM a time machine?”	2,805
Money jokes	Tai: Where does a snowman keep his money? Hannah: Where? Tai: In a snowbank.	2,806
Money jokes	CHRISTIAN: What do you call money that isn’t yours? ABBY: I don’t know. What? CHRISTIAN: Nacho cheddar!	2,807
Money jokes	CONNOR: What kind of piano can you buy for $1,000? EDNA: What kind? CONNOR: A grand piano.	2,808
Money jokes	PATRICK: How do you know when the moon is going broke? BILL: I don’t know. PATRICK: When it’s down to its last quarter.	2,809
Money jokes	Miles: What did the football coach say to the vending machine? Niles: I don’t know. Miles: “Give me my quarterback.”	2,810
Money jokes	Mark: Where do fish keep their money? Kevin: Where? Mark: In a riverbank.	2,811
Money jokes	Dad: Great news, son! We’ve saved enough money to go to Disneyland. Son: That’s great! When are we going? Dad: As soon as we save enough to get back.	2,812
Money jokes	Silas: How much money does a skunk have? Craig: No clue. Silas: Just one scent.	2,813
Money jokes	George: What’s luckier than ﬁnding a heads-up penny? Lincoln: I don’t know. What? George: Finding a heads-up quarter.	2,814
Money jokes	Silas: How much money does a skunk have? Craig: No clue. Silas: Just one scent.	2,815
Money jokes	Andrew: Why did the football coach shake the vending machine? Luke: I have no idea. Andrew: He wanted a quarterback.	2,816
Money jokes	Jake: Why did the baker get a second job? Tom: Why? Jake: He needed some extra dough.	2,817
Money jokes	Merlin: I can do magic. Arthur: Then pull a quarter out of my ear. Merlin: I can’t. There’s no sense in there.	2,818
Money jokes	John: Why didn’t the crab give any money to charity? Mark: Beats me. John: Because he was shellfish.	2,819
Money jokes	A man takes his sick Chihuahua to the veterinarian. They’re immediately taken back to a room. Soon, a Labrador walks in, sniffs the Chihuahua for 10 minutes and leaves. Then a cat comes in, stares at the Chihuahua for 10 minutes and leaves. Finally, the doctor comes in, prescribes some medicine and hands the man a $250 bill. “This must be a mistake,” the man says. “I’ve been here only 20 minutes!” “No mistake,” the doctor says. “It’s $100 for the lab test, $100 for the cat scan and $50 for the medicine.”	2,820
Money jokes	Josh: Which nut can be used as money? Jim: I haven’t the foggiest. Josh: A cash-ew.	2,821
Money jokes	Andrew: What did the landscaper say after he received his payment? Ross: I don’t know. Andrew: “Thank you very mulch.”	2,822
Money jokes	Daffynition: Quarterback — A small refund.	2,823
Money jokes	A book never written: “Make Big Bucks” by Phil T. Rich.	2,824
Money jokes	David: What’s the difference between Ben Franklin and a duck? Lily: I don’t know. David: One has his face on a bill; the other has a bill on his face.	2,825
Money jokes	Jon: How does the ocean pay its water bill? Jay: I haven’t a clue. Jon: With sand dollars.	2,826
Money jokes	Greg: What’s the best thing to do when a bull is charging? Nic: Tell me. Greg: Just pay him!	2,827
Money jokes	Jaron: Why can’t banks keep secrets? Jim: Tell me. Jaron: There are too many tellers!	2,828
Money jokes	Howard: What do you call a discount at the boat store? Susan: I don’t know. Howard: A “two-for-one sail.”	2,829
Money jokes	A man went to the hardware store and asked for nails. “How long do you want them?” asked the salesman. “Oh,” said the customer, “I was rather hoping to keep them.	2,830
Money jokes	Daffynition: Play-Doh—Fake money.	2,831
Money jokes	A book never written: “The Art of Giving” by Phil Anthropy.	2,832
Money jokes	Bill: What do you give the teller at a virtual bank? Will: I dunno. Bill: A reality check!	2,833
Money jokes	Greg: I have a wonder watch. It only cost 50 cents. Dillon: Why is it called a wonder watch? Greg: Because every time I look at it, I wonder if it’s still working!	2,834
Money jokes	Pedro: Who can drive all their customers away and still make money? The Boss: Who? Pedro: Taxi drivers!	2,835
Money jokes	Greg: I have a wonder watch. It only cost 50 cents. Dillon: Why is it called a wonder watch? Greg: Because every time I look at it, I wonder if it’s still working!	2,836
Money jokes	A book never written: “Deep in Debt” by Owen A. Lott.	2,837
Money jokes	Daffynition: Paradigm shift—When someone takes 20 cents from you.	2,838
Money jokes	A book never written: “How to Make a Killing in a Bull Market” by Butch Herr.	2,839
Money jokes	Chris: Knock, knock. TJ: Who’s there? Chris: Cash. TJ: Cash, who? Chris: No, thanks. I prefer peanuts!	2,840
Money jokes	A book never written: “Accounting” by Penny N. Dimes.	2,841
Money jokes	Matt: What do you call a very poor cat? Kate: No idea. What? Matt: A “paw-purr.”	2,842
Money jokes	Patient: Doctor, how much will it cost to have this splinter taken out? Doctor: About $70. Patient: Seventy dollars? For just a couple of seconds of work? Doctor: I can pull it out very slowly if you prefer.	2,843
Money jokes	Zach: What did the dime say to the nickel after it told a bad joke? Sarah: I don’t know. Zach: “That didn’t make cents.”	2,844
Money jokes	Robert: What period of music was the poorest? Michael: Tell me. Robert: The Baroque period!	2,845

Knock Knock jokes

Brody: Knock, knock. Henry: Who’s there? Brody: Cash. Henry: Cash, who? Brody: No, thanks,but I’ll have a peanut.

2,434

Knock Knock jokes

KUSH: Knock, knock. AVERY: Who’s there? KUSH: Ben. AVERY: Ben, who? KUSH: Ben knocking so long that my hand hurts. Let me in, already!

2,435

Knock Knock jokes

Benjamin: Knock, knock. Peter: Who’s there? Benjamin: Arya. Peter: Arya, who? Benjamin: Arya going to open the door?

2,436

Knock Knock jokes

Quinn: Knock, knock. Ron: Who’s there? Quinn: Jess. Ron: Jess, who? Quinn: Jess me and my shadow.

2,437

Knock Knock jokes

RAAGHAV: Knock, knock. JIM: Who’s there? RAAGHAV: Water. JIM: Water, who? RAAGHAV: Water you telling jokes for right now? Don’t you have things to do?

2,438

Knock Knock jokes

Jeffrey: Knock, knock. Joseph: Who’s there? Jeffrey: Woo. Joseph: Woo, who? Jeffrey: What are you cheering for? We didn’t win a medal.

2,439

Knock Knock jokes

KYLE: Knock, knock. TREY: Who’s there? KYLE: Yodel ye. TREY: Yodel ye, who? KYLE: I didn’t know you could yodel.

2,440

Knock Knock jokes

Louie: Knock, knock. Levi: Who’s there? Louie: Carrie. Levi: Carrie, who? Louie: Carrie this tent to the campsite, please.

2,441

Knock Knock jokes

Henry: Knock, knock. Cindy: Who’s there? Henry: Cows go who. Cindy: Cows go who, who? Henry: No, silly! Cows go moo.

2,442

Knock Knock jokes

Charlie: Knock, knock. Toya: Who’s there? Charlie: Ice cream soda. Toya: Ice cream soda, who? Charlie: Ice cream soda people can hear me.

2,443

Knock Knock jokes

Olivia: Knock, knock. Brendan: Who’s there? Olivia: Beets. Brendan: Beets,who? Olivia: Beats me!

2,444

Knock Knock jokes

LEIF: Knock, knock. PERRIN: Who’s there? LEIF: Repeat. PERRIN: Repeat, who? LEIF: Who, who, who.

2,445

Knock Knock jokes

Jackson: Knock, knock. Steele: Who’s there? Jackson: Nana. Steele: Nana, who? Jackson: Nana your business.

2,446

Knock Knock jokes

XAVIER: Knock, knock. JON: Who’s there? XAVIER: Sawyer. JON: Sawyer, who? XAVIER: Sawyer picture on a wanted a poster.

2,447

Knock Knock jokes

Chloe: Knock, knock. Trina: Who’s there? Chloe: Anita. Trina: Anita, who? Chloe: Anita bath!

2,448

Knock Knock jokes

Justin: Knock, knock. Cory: Who’s there? Justin: Cargo. Cory: Cargo, who? Justin: Cargo in the garage.

2,449

Knock Knock jokes

Zayn: Knock, knock. Willy: Who’s there? Zayn: Alpaca. Willy: Alpaca, who? Zayn: Alpaca the suitcase. You load up the car.

2,450

Knock Knock jokes

Riya: Knock, knock. Bridget: Who’s there? Riya: Oh, hi. Bridget: Oh, hi,who? Riya: No! It’s Ohio.

2,451

Knock Knock jokes

LEIF: Knock, knock. PERRIN: Who’s there? LEIF: Repeat. PERRIN:Repeat, who? LEIF: Who, who, who.”

2,452

Knock Knock jokes

Joe: Knock, knock. Troy: Who’s there? Joe: Mikey. Troy: Mikey, who? Joe: Mikey doesn’t fit in the keyhole.

2,453

Knock Knock jokes

Leland: Knock, knock. Silas: Who’s there? Leland: Figs. Silas: Figs, who? Leland: Figs the doorbell. I’ve been knocking forever.

2,454

Knock Knock jokes

William: Knock, knock Bill: Who’s there? William: Will. Bill: Will, who? William: Will you open the door already?

2,455

Knock Knock jokes

CYRUS: Knock, knock. CARSON: Who’s there? CYRUS: Toodle. CARSON: Toodle, who? CYRUS: I didn’t know you were going somewhere.

2,456

Knock Knock jokes

MIKAIAH: Knock, knock. SHILOH: Who’s there? MIKAIAH: Knock, knock. SHILOH: Knock, knock, who? MIKAIAH: It’s me! I’m still knocking. Let me in.

2,457

Knock Knock jokes

Reed: Knock, knock. Alyssa: Who’s there? Reed: Cargos. Alyssa: Cargos, who? Reed: Cargos in the garage.

2,458

Knock Knock jokes

Miles: Knock, knock. Josh: Who’s there? Miles: Figs. Josh: Figs, who? Miles: Figs the door — it’s broken.

2,459

Knock Knock jokes

Augustine: Knock, knock. Athanasius: Who’s there? Augustine: Yukon. Athanasius: Yukon, who? Augustine: Yukon say that again!

2,460

Knock Knock jokes

Chris: Knock, knock. Alex: Who’s there? Chris: Canoe. Alex: Canoe, who? Chris: Canoe open the door?

2,461

Knock Knock jokes

Augustine: Knock, knock. Thomas: Who’s there? Augustine: Figs. Thomas: Figs, who? Augustine: Figs the doorbell — it’s broken!

2,462

Knock Knock jokes

CONNOR: Knock, knock. PETER: Who’s there? CONNOR: King Tut. PETER: King Tut, who? CONNOR: King-Tut-key fried chicken.

2,463

Knock Knock jokes

Augustine: Knock, knock. Ambrose: Who’s there? Augustine: Cargo. Ambrose: Cargo, who? Augustine: No, cargo beep-beep!

2,464

Knock Knock jokes

Benjamin: Knock, knock. Josh: Who’s there? Benjamin: Dishes. Josh: Dishes, who? Benjamin: Dishes a very bad joke.

2,465

Knock Knock jokes

Tanay: Knock, knock. Dad: Who’s there? Tanay: Boo. Dad: Boo, who? Tanay: Why are you crying?!

2,466

Knock Knock jokes

Jeremy: Knock, knock. Bill: Who’s there? Jeremy: Luke. Bill: Luke, who? Jeremy: Luke through the peephole and you will see.

2,467

Knock Knock jokes

ASA: Knock, knock. CINDY: Who’s there? ASA: Wendy. CINDY: Wendy, who? ASA: Wendy wind blows, the cradle will rock.

2,468

Knock Knock jokes

Ben: How come there’s no knock- knock joke about America? John: No idea. Ben: Because freedom rings.

2,469

Knock Knock jokes

AXEL: Knock, knock. BEN: Who’s there? AXEL: Tank. BEN: Tank, who? AXEL: You’re welcome!

2,470

Knock Knock jokes

Charlie: Knock, knock. Samuel: Who’s there? Charlie: Hatch. Samuel: Hatch, who? Charlie: Bless you!

2,471

Knock Knock jokes

PATRICK: Knock, knock. BRADY: Who’s there? PATRICK: Candice. BRADY: Candice, who? PATRICK: Candice door open or am I stuck here?

2,472

Knock Knock jokes

Alex: Knock, knock. Billy: Who’s there? Alex: Woo. Billy: Woo, who? Alex: Don’t get too excited — it’s just a joke!

2,473

Knock Knock jokes

Jeremy: Knock, knock. Chris: Who’s there? Jeremy: Beth. Chris: Beth, who? Jeremy: Thank you, but I didn’t sneeze!

2,474

Knock Knock jokes

JAMES: Knock, knock. NATE: Who’s there? JAMES: You. NATE: You, who? JAMES: Cool! I love chocolate drinks!

2,475

Knock Knock jokes

Chris: Knock, knock. Zach: Who’s there? Chris: Owls. Zach: Owls, who? Chris: Yes, they do!

2,476

Knock Knock jokes

Jeff: Knock, knock. Joe: Who’s there? Jeff: Boo. Joe: Boo, who? Jeff: Don’t cry; it’s just a joke!

2,477

Knock Knock jokes

PEDRO: Will you remember my name in an hour? PEE WEE: Sure. PEDRO: Will you remember my name in a minute? PEE WEE: Yes. PEDRO: Will you remember my name in a second? PEE WEE: Of course. PEDRO: Knock, knock. PEE WEE: Who’s there? PEDRO: You didn’t remember my name!

2,478

Knock Knock jokes

Chris: Knock, knock. Zach: Who’s there? Chris: Owls. Zach: Owls, who? Chris: Yes, they do!

2,479

Knock Knock jokes

Ryan: Knock, knock. Jake: Who’s there? Ryan: Sherlock. Jake: Sherlock, who? Ryan: Sher-lock is broken. Let me in!

2,480

Knock Knock jokes

Tim: Knock, knock. Chase: Who’s there? Tim: Doris. Chase: Doris, who? Tim: Doris locked. That’s why I’m knocking.

2,481

Knock Knock jokes

Noah: Knock, knock. Fred: Who’s there? Noah: Ida. Fred: Ida, who? Noah: No. It’s Idaho.

2,482

Knock Knock jokes

George: Knock, knock. Kent: Who’s there? George: Sadie. Kent: Sadie, who? George: Sadie Pledge of Allegiance. It’s the Fourth of July!

2,483

Knock Knock jokes

Mike: Knock, knock. Rick: Who’s there? Mike: Wanda. Rick: Wanda, who? Mike: Wanda come play outside?

2,484

Knock Knock jokes

Kartik: Knock, knock. Jimmy: Who’s there? Kartik: Theodore. Jimmy: Theodore, who? Kartik: Theodore is locked. Let me in.

2,485

Knock Knock jokes

Joe: Knock, knock. Troy: Who’s there? Joe: Mikey. Troy: Mikey, who? Joe: Mikey doesn’t ﬁt in the key hole.

2,486

Knock Knock jokes

Joe: Knock, knock. Troy: Who’s there? Joe: Mikey. Troy: Mikey, who? Joe: Mikey doesn’t ﬁt in the key hole.

2,487

Knock Knock jokes

Alex: Knock, knock. Mom: Who’s there? Alex: Will. Mom: Will, who? Alex: Will you let me in? It’s cold out here.

2,488

Knock Knock jokes

Corey: Knock, knock. Ethan: Who’s there? Corey: The doorbell repairman.

2,489

Money jokes

EDWARD: Why did the baker need to work so hard? MICHAEL: I’m stumped. EDWARD: Because he had to make some dough.

2,802

Money jokes

CANNEN: What is it called when you raise money for a bush? LISA: I’m stumped. CANNEN: A hedge fund.

2,803

Money jokes

SIMEON: Where do snowmen keep their money? SARAH: I don’t know. SIMEON: The snowbank.

2,804

Money jokes

WARPED WISEMAN WONDERS: “If time is money, then is an ATM a time machine?”

2,805

Money jokes

Tai: Where does a snowman keep his money? Hannah: Where? Tai: In a snowbank.

2,806

Money jokes

CHRISTIAN: What do you call money that isn’t yours? ABBY: I don’t know. What? CHRISTIAN: Nacho cheddar!

2,807

Money jokes

CONNOR: What kind of piano can you buy for $1,000? EDNA: What kind? CONNOR: A grand piano.

2,808

Money jokes

PATRICK: How do you know when the moon is going broke? BILL: I don’t know. PATRICK: When it’s down to its last quarter.

2,809

Money jokes

Miles: What did the football coach say to the vending machine? Niles: I don’t know. Miles: “Give me my quarterback.”

2,810

Money jokes

Mark: Where do fish keep their money? Kevin: Where? Mark: In a riverbank.

2,811

Money jokes

Dad: Great news, son! We’ve saved enough money to go to Disneyland. Son: That’s great! When are we going? Dad: As soon as we save enough to get back.

2,812

Money jokes

Silas: How much money does a skunk have? Craig: No clue. Silas: Just one scent.

2,813

Money jokes

George: What’s luckier than ﬁnding a heads-up penny? Lincoln: I don’t know. What? George: Finding a heads-up quarter.

2,814

Money jokes

Silas: How much money does a skunk have? Craig: No clue. Silas: Just one scent.

2,815

Money jokes

Andrew: Why did the football coach shake the vending machine? Luke: I have no idea. Andrew: He wanted a quarterback.

2,816

Money jokes

Jake: Why did the baker get a second job? Tom: Why? Jake: He needed some extra dough.

2,817

Money jokes

Merlin: I can do magic. Arthur: Then pull a quarter out of my ear. Merlin: I can’t. There’s no sense in there.

2,818

Money jokes

John: Why didn’t the crab give any money to charity? Mark: Beats me. John: Because he was shellfish.

2,819

Money jokes

A man takes his sick Chihuahua to the veterinarian. They’re immediately taken back to a room. Soon, a Labrador walks in, sniffs the Chihuahua for 10 minutes and leaves. Then a cat comes in, stares at the Chihuahua for 10 minutes and leaves. Finally, the doctor comes in, prescribes some medicine and hands the man a $250 bill. “This must be a mistake,” the man says. “I’ve been here only 20 minutes!” “No mistake,” the doctor says. “It’s $100 for the lab test, $100 for the cat scan and $50 for the medicine.”

2,820

Money jokes

Josh: Which nut can be used as money? Jim: I haven’t the foggiest. Josh: A cash-ew.

2,821

Money jokes

Andrew: What did the landscaper say after he received his payment? Ross: I don’t know. Andrew: “Thank you very mulch.”

2,822

Money jokes

Daffynition: Quarterback — A small refund.

2,823

Money jokes

A book never written: “Make Big Bucks” by Phil T. Rich.

2,824

Money jokes

David: What’s the difference between Ben Franklin and a duck? Lily: I don’t know. David: One has his face on a bill; the other has a bill on his face.

2,825

Money jokes

Jon: How does the ocean pay its water bill? Jay: I haven’t a clue. Jon: With sand dollars.

2,826

Money jokes

Greg: What’s the best thing to do when a bull is charging? Nic: Tell me. Greg: Just pay him!

2,827

Money jokes

Jaron: Why can’t banks keep secrets? Jim: Tell me. Jaron: There are too many tellers!

2,828

Money jokes

Howard: What do you call a discount at the boat store? Susan: I don’t know. Howard: A “two-for-one sail.”

2,829

Money jokes

A man went to the hardware store and asked for nails. “How long do you want them?” asked the salesman. “Oh,” said the customer, “I was rather hoping to keep them.

2,830

Money jokes

Daffynition: Play-Doh—Fake money.

2,831

Money jokes

A book never written: “The Art of Giving” by Phil Anthropy.

2,832

Money jokes

Bill: What do you give the teller at a virtual bank? Will: I dunno. Bill: A reality check!

2,833

Money jokes

Greg: I have a wonder watch. It only cost 50 cents. Dillon: Why is it called a wonder watch? Greg: Because every time I look at it, I wonder if it’s still working!

2,834

Money jokes

Pedro: Who can drive all their customers away and still make money? The Boss: Who? Pedro: Taxi drivers!

2,835

Money jokes

Greg: I have a wonder watch. It only cost 50 cents. Dillon: Why is it called a wonder watch? Greg: Because every time I look at it, I wonder if it’s still working!

2,836

Money jokes

A book never written: “Deep in Debt” by Owen A. Lott.

2,837

Money jokes

Daffynition: Paradigm shift—When someone takes 20 cents from you.

2,838

Money jokes

A book never written: “How to Make a Killing in a Bull Market” by Butch Herr.

2,839

Money jokes

Chris: Knock, knock. TJ: Who’s there? Chris: Cash. TJ: Cash, who? Chris: No, thanks. I prefer peanuts!

2,840

Money jokes

A book never written: “Accounting” by Penny N. Dimes.

2,841

Money jokes

Matt: What do you call a very poor cat? Kate: No idea. What? Matt: A “paw-purr.”

2,842

Money jokes

Patient: Doctor, how much will it cost to have this splinter taken out? Doctor: About $70. Patient: Seventy dollars? For just a couple of seconds of work? Doctor: I can pull it out very slowly if you prefer.

2,843

Money jokes

Zach: What did the dime say to the nickel after it told a bad joke? Sarah: I don’t know. Zach: “That didn’t make cents.”

2,844

Money jokes

Robert: What period of music was the poorest? Michael: Tell me. Robert: The Baroque period!

2,845