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`` everyone has been so nice and helpful . ''`` good. i'm glad to hear that. we usually have very good success rates with our clinical candidates . ''megan smiled before her head dipped back down to work on the chart. nervously, he scratched the back of his neck. things were rolling along with them now that he knew he shouldn't try to rock the boat. after all, he had promised her he would keep his distance. but he couldn't help himself. in the two months since their first encounter, he hadn't stopped thinking about her. now that she had shown back up in his life so out of the blue, he couldn't help feeling that it was fated. ask her to dinner, his mind shouted. he bit down on his lip to keep the question he was burning to ask from escaping his mouth. finally, it rushed forth before he could stop himself. `` why don't you let me buy you dinner after work ? ''megan's scribbling pen stilled on the chart. she glanced up and cocked her head at him.
`` dinner implies a date, and i thought we were clear on that . ''he gave her a nervous smile. `` well, i was only offering some less palatable cafeteria food. i hardly think that constitutes a date . ''`` in my realm of dating consciousness, any time you sit down at a table while eating and drinking together, it is a date . ''crossing his arms over his chest, he countered, `` if that were true, it would mean you were dating your father and brother every time you sat down together. i know your family is close, but i don't believe they're that close . ''megan's brows rose. `` oh, is the good doctor cracking jokes now ? ''`` perhaps . ''the corners of megan's lips turned up. `` then what exactly would you consider a date ? ''pesh leaned back against the wall, surmising her teasing smile. `` a mutually agreed upon event . ''`` you're so proper, '' megan teased. he rolled his eyes at her, something he rarely did until he began spending more and more time in her presence.
`` and you're avoiding the initial question . ''megan put down the pen and chart and crossed her arms over her chest. `` so, if you could take me on a date, where would we go ? ''pesh rubbed his jaw in thought. `` well, if would have to be something you would want to do, but i would begin with dinner . ''when she started to protest, he held up his hand. `` somewhere that was romantic with candlelight and soft music-perhaps a place where we could dance in between courses . ''staring at him in surprise, megan replied, `` you're serious ? ''`` of course . ''she slowly shook her head back and forth. `` okay, go on . ''`` once we finished wine and dessert, i would then want to take you somewhere you've never been- '' `` like your bedroom ? ''megan interjected with a smirk. `` i do believe you've already been there before . ''the teasing faded from megan's expression, and a flush entered her cheeks. `` may i continue ? ''`` yeah, '' she murmured.
`` i would want to be with you to experience something you never have before-an art gallery, an opera, a musical. anything that would bring wonderment and excitement to your face . ''he gave her a small smile. `` and it would mean all the more that i was getting to share it with you . ''he watched with almost mild amusement as she processed his words. most likely she had never had a man speak to her the way he was, and it was certainly affecting her. feeling like it was time to go in for the kill, he asked once again, `` so, will you have dinner with me ? ''pesh leaned forward expectantly as megan opened her mouth. they were interrupted by the sound of emma's voice. `` oh thank god. i'm so glad you two are on . ''her anxious tone was the only thing that could have torn pesh's attention away from megan. he glanced from emma to aidan, who was grimacing and rubbing his head. `` what happened ? ''emma replied, `` he fell and hit his head, '' at the same time aidan grunted, `` nothing . ''
megan stepped forward and went over to aidan. she gasped as she surveyed him. `` ankle, your pupils are huge ! ''pesh took his penlight out of his coat pocket and went to aidan. as he flashed the light into aidan's eyes, he grimaced. `` yeah, they are. what exactly happened ? ''he made sure to direct his question to emma since she appeared to be the only one being honest. `` we were at my ob's for our first ultrasound . ''pesh's eyes widened. `` ultrasound ... you're pregnant ? ''`` again ? ''megan questioned by his side. the concern for aidan on emma's face washed away and was replaced with a beaming smile. `` yes, i'm eight weeks . ''`` why didn't you say something at dinner sunday ? ''megan asked. `` well, i only found out two weeks ago, and we wanted to wait to tell everyone until we had the first ultrasound . ''megan's blonde brows creased. `` so what does the ultrasound have to do with ankle hitting his head ? ''emma pursed her lips and cut her gaze over to aidan.
`` would you like to tell them ? ''when he shook his head and then winced, emma sighed. `` when they hooked me up to the fetal monitor, they thought they heard two heartbeats. at the word 'twins ', aidan passed out and hit his head on the counter and the floor . ''while pesh quickly turned a laugh into a cough, megan wasn't so tactful. she burst out laughing. `` you seriously passed out during the ultrasound ? ''aidan scowled at her. `` in my defense, it wasn't quite the ultrasound yet . ''at megan's continued laughter, he shrugged. `` it was pretty mind-blowing news . ''`` oh ankle, honestly . ''aidan turned to pesh. `` so am i going to stand around all day getting shit, or are you going to examine me ? ''pesh nodded. `` of course. your pupils are definitely a matter of concern . ''glancing at emma, aidan said, `` just wait for me here . ''`` okay . ''pesh motioned for aidan to go into the first examining room.
as soon as the door closed behind him, aidan lunged for him, grabbing the lapels of his white coat. `` i need a vasectomy. today . ''pesh fought the urge to laugh at the absurdity of the situation as well as aidan's desperation. `` okay, let's get you to sit down. you've obviously been through a lot of trauma in the last hour . ''aidan plopped onto the examining table. he buried his head in his hands and groaned. `` what a fking nightmare of a day . ''`` does your head hurt ? ''pesh asked. `` a little . ''`` any nausea ? ''`` maybe . ''pesh furrowed his brows. `` what do you mean, maybe ? ''aidan raised his head. `` if you're asking if i'm nauseated now, the answer would be no. i'm not. but on the other hand, if you're asking if i get nauseous thinking about the fact that emma could have been pregnant with twins, and i would have had three kids under two and in diapers ... '' aidan shuddered. `` then yeah, i get really fking nauseous, and the room starts to spin a little . ''
easing down on his stool, he rolled over to aidan. `` take a deep breath for me, okay ? ''aidan's chest expanded as he inhaled and exhaled. `` again, '' pesh instructed. after a few cleansing breaths, pesh cocked his head at aidan. `` better ? ''`` yeah, a little, '' aidan croaked. he jerked his hand through his hair. `` are you going to get me a referral for a vasectomy ? ''pesh held up his hand. `` i'm confused. if you know that emma isn't having twins, why do you want to have a vasectomy ? ''`` because twins run on both sides of our families. pop was a twin, and emma's uncles are twins. it's like we have a genetic bull's-eye hovering over us. we can barely be in the same room without conceiving, so it's just inevitable that she'll get pregnant again, and then i'll have four kids ... maybe even five . ''aidan swallowed hard as some of the color drained from his face. `` i can't be a baby making machine . ''
`` actually, most recent studies still conclude that identical twins can happen to anyone, whereas, fraternal twins are the result of the mother producing two eggs in a single cycle. this tendency to create multiple eggs is passed from mother to child. given that emma doesn't have a non-identical twin, you are fairly safe . ''aidan tilted his head, his expression one of confusion. `` so you're saying i don't have to worry about that ? ''`` without knowing emma's full genetic history, i couldn't say, but it sounds like a no-at least for fraternal twins . ''after processing pesh's words, aidan shook his head. `` like it really matters about the twins. we're still way too fertile together. i need to stop this before it gets out of hand . ''`` and what does emma think about all of this ? ''a red flush entered aidan's cheeks. `` um, well, i haven't actually mentioned it to her . ''`` you don't think your wife needs to know about such a life-altering decision ? ''
`` well, of course i'd tell her before i went in for the surgery . ''as pesh crossed his arms over his chest, he couldn't help wondering just how hard aidan had been hit in the head. `` you can not seriously be sitting there saying that . ''aidan stared at pesh for a moment before he groaned. `` oh man, i'm being a giant, selfish tool about this, aren't i ? ''pesh smiled. `` pretty much . ''aidan rubbed his hand over his eyes. `` it's just ... being a father is f**king scary sometimes. i worry about noah constantly, and now there's another baby in the mix. plus, another baby means more time taken away from emma . ''he gave a weak smile. `` i love her so much. sometimes ... i just can't get enough of her, and i don't want to share . ''`` i think that's a perfectly normal feeling . ''aidan shook his head. `` it makes me sound like a selfish bastard. i mean, who is jealous of their kid for taking their wife's time ? ''`` a lot of men. so stop beating yourself up over what you're feeling.
most of all, don't bottle it up. talk to emma . ''aidan's blue eyes widened as he shook his head furiously back and forth. `` oh hell no, i don't want her thinking badly of me . ''`` she won't. emma always appreciates honesty . ''`` about me being jealous of her time with our kids? i'm pretty sure she would not want me being honest about that . ''`` what has emma always said is the most important thing in a relationship ? ''`` trust . ''pesh nodded. `` so how are you building her trust by lying to her about your feelings ? ''aidan's blonde brows furrowed. `` so i should just tell her i'm afraid of losing her and that i want us to maximize our time together ? ''`` i would think so. i don't think any woman could get angry hearing her husband say how much he loves her and wants to be with her . ''aidan appeared thoughtful. `` i guess you're right . ''pesh smiled as he patted aidan's shoulder reassuringly. `` you're doing a wonderful job being a father.
i'm sure you'll do just as well with a second and maybe even a third child . ''at the mention of a third child, aidan swallowed hard, his adam's apple bobbing up and down. `` i don't mind a third kid ... just not now. maybe in a couple of years . ''he glanced up and smiled at pesh. `` but thanks for the vote of confidence on me being a father . ''`` i just call it as i see it . ''`` i appreciate that . ''`` how about i check on your head now ? ''aidan nodded. `` okay . ''pesh started feeling for unusual lumps and bumps on aidan's head. `` hmm, i don't feel anything abnormal. but just to be on the safe side, i want you to have a ct scan to rule out concussion or any brain bleeds . ''`` jesus, i could have all of that from just hitting my head ? ''`` you would be surprised. let me go call in the order, and they'll come take you back. hopefully you won't have too long a wait. we're usually slower during the afternoons when the doctors ' offices and imaging centers are open . ''
as he started for the door, aidan stopped him. `` hey, man, with all the craziness, i almost forgot to ask how is megan doing with her placement ? ''pesh didn't have to think twice before responding, `` she is going to make an incredible nurse . ''aidan grinned. `` i'm glad to hear it. not that i ever doubted her abilities. it's just good to hear her praises sung by a doctor . ''popping pesh on the chest teasingly with his hand, aidan asked, `` how's it going between you and megan ? ''pesh almost laughed out loud at aidan's forthrightness. it was not in his nature to be so blunt, and after megan turning him down yet again, he wasn't really sure how to answer. `` i truly respect and admire megan . ''he considered that the most diplomatic way to answer her uncle's enquiry. despite feeling glad that he obviously had earned his friend's respect, he wouldn't say anything untoward about megan in front of him. it is her business who she did or didn't date. `` that's not what i meant . ''
`` i didn't imagine it was . ''aidan eyed him before saying, `` look i know you got off to a rocky start, but it's not hopeless. are you planning on asking her out ? ''`` you're not letting this go, are you ? ''`` nope. not a chance . ''pesh shoved his hands into his lab coat. `` i have asked megan to accompany me on a date, but at this point, we are at a stalemate. but, i am not planning on giving up anytime soon. does that satisfy your inquisition ? ''aidan laughed, but then his brows furrowed. `` what do you mean? you two looked pretty cozy and comfortable together when we walked up . ''with a regretful shake of his head, pesh replied, `` she doesn't want to date me . ''`` i call bullshit. i may have been bonked in the head, but no one could deny the way she was looking at you. maybe if you- '' although it was against his character, he let his anger override his better judgment. `` she wants me for sex but not for a relationship, okay ? ''aidan's mouth gaped open.
`` you mean, she's acting like ... a dude ? ''`` if you mean that she has pretty much refused to go to dinner with me or any other honorable event that a man and woman can partake in on a date, and instead, she would rather pursue a strictly physical relationship, then the answer is yes . ''`` my god, it's like she's turned into the old me, '' aidan muttered. he ran his hand over his face before he looked at pesh again. `` i'm so sorry . ''with a shrug, pesh replied, `` she's still very young. i suppose in her eyes, she's been deprived of fun the last two years. this is a way for her to make up for that. regardless if we agree or understand it . ''`` well, i still call bullshit on the whole thing . ''he gave pesh a long, hard stare. `` you have to keep trying, no matter what . ''`` i didn't say i was giving up, did i ? ''`` no, but i know from personal experience how hard it is to keep trying when it feels like you aren't winning . ''
`` what occurred with you and emma is totally different than with megan and me . ''`` you still have to try . ''aidan hopped off the examining table and wobbled for a moment on unsteady legs. `` megan has been hurt before, and i don't think she really knows what it is to be loved. not deeply where her needs were considered. hell, she was only twenty-three when she got knocked up. i want her to find someone who will cherish her, man. i want my girl cared for . ''he patted pesh's shoulder. `` i think that someone could be you . ''`` we'll see . ''when aidan started to argue, pesh shook his head. `` time to see about your head . ''`` whatever, '' aidan mumbled. when pesh opened the door for aidan, emma and megan stared expectantly at them. `` so what's the verdict ? ''megan asked. `` i think he's going to be just fine, but to be on the safe side, i've ordered him a ct scan . ''emma's eyes widened in fear. `` you think he has some brain injury from the fall ? ''she asked in a panicky voice.
pesh smiled to try and put her at ease. `` i don't think there's anything wrong besides a slight bump on the head, but i want to make sure there is nothing wrong with him . ''`` okay then, '' emma replied. an orderly appeared with a wheelchair to escort aidan to his scan. before he sat down, aidan leaned over to kiss emma. `` i'm fine, babe. stop worrying. it isn't good for you or the baby . ''she gave him a weak smile. `` i'll try hard not to . ''he winked at her before collapsing down in the wheelchair. `` nothing can keep me down-you should know that by now . ''megan snorted. `` at least we know the bump didn't do anything to your ego . ''`` of course not, '' emma agreed. kristi poked her head out of one of the examining rooms. `` dr. nadeen, i need you . ''he nodded before turning to megan. `` why don't you show emma to one of the family waiting rooms ? ''`` sure, '' megan replied. emma reached up to hug him. `` thanks for taking care of aidan . ''`` it was my pleasure . ''
he gave them a final wave before disappearing into the waiting patient's room. but after talking to aidan, he definitely had a little more determined bounce in his step. chapter nine two days later when megan came in for a later shift, she found the emergency room in a state of chaos. `` whoa, what happened ? ''she asked kristi, after she'd clocked in and put away her things. kristi rolled her eyes. `` every month or so we seem to have a day where everything is madness from start to finish. you can never anticipate it-you kinda just have to go with the flow . ''she grinned at megan. `` so get ready to be on your toes today . ''megan laughed. `` okay, sounds good . ''as they started working their way through patients, things continued to escalate into overwhelming territory for megan. kristi seemed to be experiencing the same feeling since the tops of her cheeks had a shine of perspiration beads on them.
the moment they finished with one patient and disinfected the room, another patient was waiting to enter it. megan followed behind kristi as she went to poke her head in to the registration area. `` hey janet, could you not call anyone else back? we're getting swamped . ''janet shook her head. `` it's just as crazy out in the waiting room. like we're almost overflowing . ''kristi rolled her eyes. `` fabulous. it's probably another full moon, which makes things absolutely insane . ''she turned back to megan. `` listen, since we're so swamped, can you take the man in exam b ? ''megan couldn't help her eyes from widening. `` really? on my own ? ''kristi smiled before patting megan's hand. `` i've seen you in action the last week. i have faith in you . ''`` okay, if you're sure . ''`` i'm positive . ''megan couldn't contain her smile. `` thank you . ''taking her ipad, she flipped open the registration details on the patient awaiting her.
when she pushed open the door, she eyed the man on the examining table. `` good evening mr. robertson, i'm megan. what- '' before she could even get out the standard `` what seems to be the problem ? ''question, the man started shaking his head furiously. `` no, no. i won't let you examine me. i want a doctor. a male doctor. you understand ? ''`` sir, i understand, but i have to follow protocol, which is to ascertain your issues before the doctor comes in. i see on the chart that you're experiencing some abdominal swelling ? ''he refused to meet her eye. instead, he gazed over at the wall before holding up one finger to her. `` i meant what i said. i demand to see a male doctor . ''`` yes, but we're very backed up this afternoon. i'm not sure how long it will be before you are able to see a doctor, least of all a male doctor . ''when it appeared the man's resolve was fading a little, megan took a tentative step forward. `` please, if you would just let me take a look at your abdomen . ''
`` it isn't my stomach, '' he mumbled. `` then what is it ? ''when he didn't respond, she sighed with frustration. `` mr. robertson, you can not ignore abdominal swelling. it can stem from many issues and have many repercussions . ''he shifted uncomfortably on the table. just when she thought she was making headway with him, he threw his head back and began screaming at the top of his lungs. `` get me a male doctor ! ''megan rolled her eyes. the first time she had the chance to see a patient on her own, and he had to be a stark raving lunatic. refusing to give into him or accept defeat, she stalked over to him. she was going to exam his sexist ass if it was the last thing she did. `` keep screaming, and i'll call security, '' she warned before snatching the sheet off him. his screams cut off to a shriek as he clawed for the sheet, but the damage was done. she had seen more than enough. `` oh. my. god, '' she murmured.
she gazed wide-eyed and open-mouthed at what had to be the poster child picture to go along with the warning labels on viagra and cialis for four-hour erections. `` that's going to have to be aspirated . ''`` excuse me ? ''he demanded. she cocked her head at him. `` the excessive blood in your penis ? ''he nodded. `` it's not just going to go away on its own. it has to be aspirated, which means drained out . ''mr. robertson swallowed hard. `` like with a needle ? ''`` yes, with a very large needle . ''when he started to protest, she brought her hand up. `` lucky for you, i can not do the procedure-it is to be handled strictly by a doctor . ''`` a male ? ''`` if it came to your penis exploding from the pressure by waiting for a male doctor, would you seriously be that picky ? ''his blue eyes widened in horror. `` yeah, i thought so. i'll be back . ''when she whirled out of the room, she ran right into the last person she wanted to have to deal with at the moment. `` i'm so sorry. are you all right ? ''
pesh asked. `` i'm fine . ''he smiled down at her. `` doing some patient evaluations on your own? that's wonderful . ''`` um, well, yes and no . ''his brows knitted in concern. `` what's wrong ? ''she couldn't imagine telling pesh about mr. robertson's condition. the last thing she was going to do was refer the case to him. draining an engorged penis should be left to the interns, not an attending physician. `` oh, it's nothing. he's just a little demanding . ''at that moment, the door to the exam room flew open. mr. robertson stood hunched over, his legs an almost painful distance apart. he took one look at pesh and his white coat, and he lunged at him. `` help me. please ! ''although it was strictly against the nursing code, she would have loved nothing more than to have throttled mr. robertson right then and there. pesh grasped mr. robertson's hands on his coat and pulled them down. `` sir, you need to get back inside. as unsteady as you are, you certainly do not need to be on your feet . ''
as pesh led mr. robertson back to the examining table, megan reluctantly followed them inside the room and closed the door. `` what seems to be the problem ? ''mr. robertson glanced from pesh to megan and then back to pesh. with a sheepish expression, he replied. `` um, i seem to be having some lower abdominal swelling . ''megan had to fight from rolling her eyes. she stepped between pesh and mr. robertson and looked pesh full on in the eye. `` while the patient refuses to acknowledge his condition, it appears after examination that he has an extreme priapism . ''at the word, color flooded into pesh's tan cheeks, and he broke eye contact to momentarily stare down at the floor. his reaction was exactly what megan had feared she would experience in the moment. she had hardly imagined his level of professionalism would allow him to be embarrassed about a medical condition.
but of course, their past interactions made anything of the sexual kind a little more mortifying than if she was dealing with one of the male interns. it took pesh only a few seconds to recover, and then he immediately turned his attention to mr. robertson. `` did you take any erectile dysfunction medication in the last four to six hours ? ''when mr. robertson started to look at megan, pesh shook his head. `` my nurse will stay with me through the duration of your care. so i will repeat once again, did you take any medication ? ''`` cialis . ''`` how many milligrams ? ''when mr. robertson shrugged, pesh demanded, `` are you being purposefully evasive, or do you not know ? ''`` i don't know, okay? i got it off a buddy of mine . ''`` do you normally take medication that isn't prescribed to you ? ''`` i just wanted to try it out . ''pesh glanced over at megan. `` i'm going to ask for a full blood work-up. who knows what else he might've taken . ''
megan nodded and punched in the code on the electronic chart to get a member of the phlebotomy team up to draw the blood. after going over to the dispenser, pesh slid a pair of rubber gloves on. `` i'm going to have to examine you now . ''with a resigned huff, mr. robertson threw the sheet back. megan bit down on her lip to keep from laughing at the expression on pesh's face. she was pretty sure he hadn't had to deal with a lot of penises that resembled enormous eggplants in his career. of course, her amusement quickly faded when she realized how awkward it was being in the room with him while he held another man's penis in his hand. she tried busying herself with the electronic chart in front of her. she wanted to do anything but look at the scene unfolding before her. once pesh finished that part of the exam, mr. robertson eased back down on the examining table, and pesh once again eyed the eggplant-colored penis. `` precisely how long have you had the erection ? ''`` five and a half hours . ''
`` there doesn't appear to be any artery rupture, so we won't need to perform surgery. i think the quickest form of treatment, as well as the least invasive, would be to try an injection to narrow the veins and reduce the blood flow to your penis. that should reduce the swelling . ''mr. robertson's eyes narrowed suspiciously. `` and where do you have to give me the shot ? ''`` in the penis, of course . ''with a gulp, mr. robertson replied, `` fine. do it . ''pesh nodded. `` can you grab a syringe of alpha-agonist please ? ''`` sure, '' megan replied. she gladly retreated from the room to head to the medicine closet. after checking the syringe dosage, she reluctantly returned to mr. robertson's room. `` thank you, '' pesh said, as he took the medication from her. she watched with mild disgust, as well as fascination, as he took mr. robertson's penis in his hand. `` take a deep breath, '' he instructed. the moment the needle pricked the skin, mr. robertson howled uncontrollably.
megan couldn't help rolling her eyes at what a complete pansy he was being about the pain. once pesh finished, he dropped the empty syringe in the biohazard container and then glanced back at mr. robertson. `` if the swelling hasn't begun to dissipate in the next ten to fifteen minutes, we're going to have to take another course of action . ''`` what's that ? ''mr. robertson questioned, with a grimace. `` aspirating the penis of the blood . ''mr. robertson paled considerably. `` oh god, she mentioned that . ''he said the word she like megan was a swarm of locust. pesh turned to smile at megan. `` then she made a good call . ''he then eyed his pager that was going off. `` keep an eye on him. i'll be back in fifteen . ''`` okay, i will . ''time ticked by agonizingly slow as she worked on charts and kept an eye on mr. robertson. every few minutes, he was lifting up the sheet to eye his erection. each time he grimaced, megan imagined that the shot wasn't working and the swelling hadn't gone down.
when pesh entered the room again, he glanced from her to mr. robertson. `` so how are we doing ? ''she shook her head. `` no change . ''`` i see . ''he went over to a drawer and searched through it before producing a very large syringe with a very thick needle. `` i'm sorry, mr. robertson, but it looks like this is our only choice . ''mr. robertson seemed speechless for the first time all night. `` ms. mckenzie, can i get you to assist me ? ''pesh asked. `` of course . ''`` i need you to help restrain him. i need him to be as still as possible . ''megan fought the urge to roll her eyes at his suggestion. mr. robertson had to outweigh her by a hundred pounds, not to mention that when pain got your adrenaline pumping, you were even stronger. but she did as she was told. as pesh brought the needle to mr. robertson's penis, she gripped her hands tight into his shoulders. when the needle pierced the skin, it took everything within her to keep him on the table. gritting her teeth, she held her ground.
finally, when the last of the blood had been withdrawn, she was able to loosen her grip. pesh tossed the syringe into the biohazard container and then turned around. `` i advise you take some ibuprofen for both the pain and for the anti-inflammatory benefits. i would also do a round or two of using an ice pack on your crotch. it would be my strongest advice that you never take anymore erectile dysfunction medication until you actually need it . ''`` whatever, '' mr. robertson croaked, collapsing back onto the table. `` give him about thirty minutes, and then he needs to head on home. we'll need the exam room, '' pesh instructed. `` okay, i will . ''he gave her a quick smile before exiting the room. after thirty minutes, she saw mr. robertson to the door of the er. as he staggered into the waiting room, she shook her head. `` megan, '' kristi called. `` yes ? ''`` go ahead and take your dinner break now . ''`` are you sure? i mean, i can work through it since we're so busy . ''kristi shook her head.
`` we're fine. besides, you're going to need all your strength. things are probably going to get even crazier after the sun goes down . ''megan tried not to appear horrified at the prospect. instead, she ducked into the break room to grab her purse. when she came out, pesh was waiting for her. `` where are you going ? ''`` oh, it's my dinner break . ''pesh gave an impish smile. `` how fortunate. it's mine as well . ''realizing what he was intending, she slowly shook her head back and forth. `` no dates . ''after crossing his arms over his chest, pesh asked, `` and how would it be a date if we happened to go to the cafeteria at the same time and sit at the same table ? ''`` you're pushing it, and you know it . ''`` after what we both just endured, how can you deny me the pleasure of buying your dinner ? ''a teasing twinkle flashed in his dark eyes-one she wasn't used to seeing on him. for some reason, she found it completely irresistible.
`` besides, how can i possibly have romance on my mind when i just held another man's penis in my hands ? ''her eyes widened in shock at his words. `` d-did you actually just say that ? ''`` yes, i believe i did . ''she shook her head. `` i can't believe you sometimes . ''`` don't try to pin me as one thing or the other. just take me as i am, '' pesh suggested. `` i'll try . ''as they started to the elevator, megan chewed her lip with unease. turning to pesh she asked, `` what will people say if they see the two of us together ? ''`` that we're two single people having dinner, '' he replied. `` you're a physician, and i'm a clinical student. couldn't i get in trouble ? ''`` doctors and nurses often have dinner together on their breaks. the cafeteria is a pretty inconspicuous place for us to be alone together. if someone came upon us in one of the medicine rooms or an empty patient room, then we might have a problem . ''`` if you say so, '' she mumbled, as he punched the down button on the elevator.
after they stepped on the car, pesh eyed her. `` you really are worried, aren't you ? ''she nodded. `` my career means everything to me. i don't want to do anything to jeopardize it . ''`` then i'll make sure we don't sit by ourselves . ''`` thank you. i really appreciate that . ''as the car started its decent down, pesh threw his head back and exhaled a long breath. `` well, that was ... '' megan grinned at him. `` the good doctor seems speechless. surely in all your years in the er, you've seen crazier or more mortifying cases . ''he cocked his head, appearing thoughtful. `` a screwdriver lodged in a rectum is probably the tamest . ''`` the tamest ? ''megan questioned incredulously, as the elevator door dinged open. pesh laughed. `` a man high on meth walking into the er with his penis in his hand is probably the craziest . ''megan's hand swept over her mouth. `` he actually cut off his ... '' she gazed around to make sure no one was listening to their conversation.
`` is the good nurse speechless ? ''he teased. she rolled her eyes at him. `` so what happened ? ''`` we got him sedated and into surgery as soon as we could. i heard they were able to sew it back on. i'm not aware of whether or not it was ever ... fully functional again . ''`` that is crazy . ''`` i know . ''pesh handed her a food tray. as they surmised their choices, megan asked, `` was that your standard line of questioning in a situation like that ? ''`` i think we've established that i haven't been privy to many priapism cases, but yes, any time there is an issue with the penis that is not related to the urethra or bladder, you would ask those questions . ''after the food service worker gave them both an odd look, pesh looked pointedly at her. `` why do you ask ? ''she shrugged. `` just to be prepared for the next time . ''he cocked his brows at her. `` do you want to practice your line of questioning? you know, show me what you've learned ? ''`` let's get our food first, shall we ? ''`` okay . ''
after deciding that the grilled chicken salad was about the most appealing item in the food line, she grabbed a drink and some of the freshly baked chocolate chip cookies. just as she inched up to pay, pesh put his tray next to hers. he had chosen some kind of stir-fry that didn't look appetizing to megan. when she dug in her purse for her wallet, he handed a twenty to the cashier. as he took his change, she shot him a look. `` what ? ''he asked. `` you buying my dinner doesn't look very innocent, '' she hissed, as they started toward the tables. pesh shook his head with a smile. `` i highly doubt she's keeping the gossip mill going on how dr. nadeen bought the lovely new clinical student a salad . ''`` you never know, '' megan countered. trailing pesh, she watched as he made his way over to a table filled with doctors and nurses. while the bottom half was filled with people, the top was practically empty. `` mind if we take these seats ? ''pesh asked.
`` go right ahead, nadeen, '' a bushy haired doctor replied. `` we're expecting a few more to join us, '' he said, before covertly winking at megan. `` you play a good game, '' she said, softly. `` thank you . ''she'd just finished drizzling dressing over her salad when pesh said, `` ready to prove yourself ? ''`` are we really going to talk about this while we eat ? ''`` you'll learn that most lunches and dinners are spent either reviewing cases or getting input on cases . ''`` fine then . ''putting on a professional air, she asked, `` have you taken any erectile dysfunction medication ? ''after swallowing a bite of stir-fry, he replied, `` no, never . ''`` do you have trouble obtaining an erection ? ''the twinkle returned to his eyes. `` i would think you wouldn't need to ask that question after our previous encounter . ''a shiver went down her spine as she remembered her core rubbing against the hardened ridge in his pants.
`` considering it is unlikely that i would have any previous knowledge of the patient, just answer the question . ''he gave her a sly smile. `` no, never . ''`` do you have trouble maintaining an erection ? ''`` i could once again point out that you had personal knowledge of how well i was able to maintain myself once aroused, but i'll refrain. instead, i'll say no . ''`` ha, ha, nice way to get your point in . ''`` i had to try . ''she cocked her head at him, giving him a teasing smile. `` if a patient was trying to flirt as much as you are during my questioning, then i would have to remind him that i am a professional . ''`` i see. then forgive me for trying to undermine your professionalism . ''`` you're forgiven ... for now . ''he took a long swig of his iced tea. `` you did really well back there . ''`` really ? ''`` yes, you did. for that to be your first case on your own, you managed to keep yourself together and to give the patient the best level of diagnosis and care you could . ''
she couldn't help the warmth rushing to her cheeks that his compliments caused. `` thank you. i appreciate your confidence . ''`` i think you're going to make an amazing nurse. i know that there will be many hospitals vying to hire you . ''megan shook her head. `` i don't know about that . ''`` don't underestimate your talents . ''`` you think they would want to hire me here ? ''she asked. his brows rose in surprise. `` you wouldn't mind a permanent placement here ? ''she shrugged. `` it hasn't been long, but i have been happy here. i like the people i work with. i guess i wouldn't want to go into the unknown when i know what i have here . ''he swallowed a bite of his rice. `` that's understandable . ''after wiping his mouth, he smiled at her. `` i think they would be crazy not to make you an offer . ''`` i hope so . ''leaning in over his plate, he held her gaze. the intensity in which he stared at her caused her to shudder.
she didn't like the effect he was having on her in the middle of the hospital cafeteria. a mixture of emotions coursed through her-warmth, safety, lust, happiness. she hadn't experienced that range of feelings with a man in a long, long time. finally, he spoke. `` i know it would make me very happy to have you here, and i would do everything within my power to ensure you stayed . ''before she could reply, a tray smacked down onto the table next to her. one of the residents, a young male named dr. morris, grinned at the two of them. `` so, i hear you two just handled a priapism case . ''`` yeah, we did, '' megan replied. she didn't dare look back at pesh to gage his expression on being interrupted. dr. morris groaned. `` oh come on. give me the juicy details. i haven't gotten to see one of those yet. the best groin swelling i've had is when some idiot tried to pierce his balls, and they got infected . ''when megan wrinkled her nose, pesh's laughter surprised her. her gaze flew to him, and he winked.
`` i told you that the conversations we had over dinner were not exactly appetizing . ''`` i'm starting to believe you, '' she replied, with a smile. somehow she managed to devour the rest of her salad while pesh told dr. morris the ins and outs of the case. after she finished, she rose out of her chair. `` i guess i better head back. you know, with everything being so crazy . ''surprisingly, pesh didn't get up nor did he offer to walk her back. instead, she saw an acceptance on his face that told her he was letting her go so there would be no suspicion raised about the two of them. `` thank you for dinner, '' she said. `` you're welcome, '' he replied, with a smile. his smiles were starting to do something to her that she didn't like. they were no longer igniting her panties on fire ; instead, they were making her long to spend time with him. she quickly slung her purse over her shoulder and strode out of the cafeteria.
with the chaos surrounding her, she thankfully put pesh out of her mind for the rest of the evening. chapter ten after two exhausting weeks in her clinicals, megan was ready for a little randr. so she was thrilled when emma called her asking if she wanted to join her for a girl's day. she was even more stoked when emma said that aidan was willing to keep mason, so he and noah could play together. even though she was sure her parents would have watched him, she hated imposing on them so much. an hour after the call, she was pulling into aidan and emma's driveway. when she opened the backseat to get mason out, he was already bopping up and down in his car seat with excitement. he loved aidan and emma's house, and he especially loved playing with noah, even though they were eleven months apart. she grabbed him and his diaper bag and then made her way up the front walk. emma answered the door with noah on her hip. `` hey, i'm so excited you could make it . ''megan grinned.
`` you should know by now i have no life except for mason and work . ''`` i feel the same way sometimes, '' emma replied, as megan stepped through the doorway. as she walked through the foyer and down the hall to the kitchen, mason squirmed to get down. once she set him on his feet, he ran into the living room. that's where aidan was lounging on the couch with beau on the floor next to him. `` beau ! ''mason cried. he leaned in to hug the massive lab. megan never had to worry about beau and mason ; he was truly a gentle giant when it came to infants and kids. beau thumped his tail heartily at the attention. aidan glanced up from the tv and smiled. `` hey, how are you ? ''she grinned as she reached down to kiss his cheek. `` good thanks. and you ? ''`` great. looking forward to having a man's day with the boys . ''megan laughed. `` yeah, with two kids under two, let's see how much fun you'll have . ''aidan shrugged. `` it's good practice for me when the new baby gets here . ''`` baby or babies ? ''
she teased. with his eyes widening, he quickly replied, `` baby singular. that was confirmed, thank god . ''cocking her head, she teasingly asked, `` and when is the ultrasound to confirm the youngest fitzgerald granddaughter is on her way ? ''aidan huffed exasperatedly. `` not for a few more months, smart-ass . ''she brought her hand to her chest in mock outrage. `` it was just a question . ''`` yeah and considering you've had a kid yourself, i'm sure you know all too well at what month the gender ultrasound is . ''megan grinned. `` i just think it's cool that i'll be the oldest granddaughter, and she'll be the youngest . ''with a pained expression, aidan groaned, `` whatever . ''she ruffled his still unkempt bed hair playfully. `` relax, ankle. you're going to be an amazing father to that little girl. she'll undoubtedly have you wrapped around her finger before she's even out of the womb . ''
`` a man like me, or i guess i should say, a man like i used to be, does not want to bring forth daughters into the world . ''`` payback is a bitch, '' she mused. `` don't i know it, '' he grumbled. emma came into the living room then. she handed noah to aidan along with a bottle. `` you sure you'll be all right today ? ''`` i'll be fine-we'll be fine. won't we mason ? ''mason glanced up from lumbering around the room on beau's back. `` yeah ! ''`` see. stop worrying . ''he gave emma a very pointed look before adding, `` a promise is a promise after all . ''she flushed a little at his words, but then gave him a shy smile. when he winked playfully at her, megan couldn't help feeling her chest tighten at the exchange. seeing her once man-whore uncle now a loving, devoted husband and father was always surprisingly unnerving. but deep down, it was how much she truly wanted what aidan and emma had. love, companionship, and devotion within marriage while having someone else to parent with you.
if you weren't so stubborn you could probably have something just like aidan and emma have with pesh! but no, you have to keep believing that you're too young to get married. you're probably throwing away happiness with both hands just because you're afraid. emma brought her out of her self-deprecating tirade. `` so what should we do first ? ''she asked, as they walked into the garage. `` nails and toes ? ''megan suggested. `` mmm, that sounds good . ''they both slid into emma's suv. as megan buckled up, emma turned to her. `` i hope you don't mind that casey is meeting us for lunch ? ''`` of course not. the more the merrier. besides, casey is a hoot . ''emma smiled and cranked up the car. `` that she is . ''before long, they were pulling into starbucks to grab some coffee for megan and tea for emma. then they walked around the corner to the nail salon.
after relaxing manicures and pedicures, they drove about twenty minutes to meet casey at their favorite little local restaurant that was housed in an old train depot. as they walked up, they saw casey sitting outside in the sunshine texting. `` hey girl ! ''emma called. casey waved to them before rising off the bench. `` hello, hello . ''a round of hugs was exchanged between the three women. `` i thought you two would never get here. i'm starving . ''emma grinned. `` sorry. they were a little behind at the nail salon . ''they pushed through the front door and were quickly seated by the hostess who knew them well. once they eased into a familiar, comfortable booth, they took stock of the menus. `` you have to order alcohol on our behalf since we're both two knocked-up ladies now, '' casey insisted. megan's eyes widened. `` i didn't know you were pregnant . ''casey grinned. `` yeah, nate finally wore me down . ''she then shook her head. `` sometimes i think he's the chick in this relationship . ''
`` he must've done some heavy convincing, '' megan said. with a nod, casey replied, `` he comes from such a large immediate and extended family that he's been itching to have a child. we've been married a year and together eight, so i guess it was just time. and while i wasn't thrilled with the idea of having a baby when his internship was so crazy, his hours will be better by the time the baby gets here . ''`` when are you due ? ''`` around the same time as emma . ''that statement made emma beam. `` our babies are going to be best friends, too. i just know it . ''casey grinned at the sentiment. `` or boyfriend and girlfriend ... '' `` that's a thought . ''emma jerked her chin up. `` i'm not sure i want your son corrupting my little girl . ''with her dark eyes widening, casey huffed, `` and what if it's my daughter that your son is corrupting ? ''emma giggled. `` if my son takes after his father, then that would be the case.
but i think we also have to consider that if your daughter is anything like you, she'll be the one doing the corrupting . ''casey laughed. `` that's true . ''`` guess i should keep mason clear of her too, huh ? ''megan asked, with a smile. `` probably, '' emma replied. after the waitress appeared to take their drink and food orders, casey pinned megan with an intense stare. `` so, '' she began, quirking her brow at megan. `` i hear your doing your clinicals under dr. mcdreamy bollywood . ''megan couldn't help but laugh. `` if you mean i'm doing them under dr. nadeen, then the answer is yes . ''emma nibbled on her bottom lip before speaking. `` have things been awkward considering what happened the night of noah's baptism ? ''before megan could reply, casey's eyes bulged. `` whoa, whoa. hold the phone. something happened between you two ? ''megan felt heat rising in her cheeks.
it was almost too mortifying to repeat, but finally, she filled casey in on each and every embarrassing detail that had happened. `` man, he's so freakin ' honorable, isn't he ? ''casey mused. `` yes, he is, '' megan replied, glumly. emma shook her head. `` there's nothing wrong with his honor. it's what attracted me to him in the first place. there are so few gentlemen left on the planet . ''before she could stop herself, megan blurted, `` but i didn't want a gentleman. i wanted to get laid . ''casey grinned. `` don't we all ? ''emma rolled her eyes. `` just when i think your pregnancy hormones haven't made you even more sex crazed, you go and say something like that, '' she grumbled. megan twirled the straw in her diet coke thoughtfully. `` what's bizarre is even though he should have been completely and totally turned off by what happened that night, he's still interested in me. i mean, the man is gorgeous and has half of the women in the hospital panting over him, and he still wants me . ''
`` then what's the problem ? ''emma asked. `` he's interested in dating, not sex . ''emma's brows furrowed. `` but wouldn't you have sex eventually if you were dating ? ''megan sighed. `` we're at a stalemate-i just want straight sex without dinner and a movie, and to quote him, he wants to show me a whole new world through a date . ''`` how aladdin of him, '' casey quipped to which emma shot her an exasperated look. with a shrug, megan replied, `` basically we're going to stay forever in the friend zone because neither one of us is willing to give in . ''`` would it really kill you to go out with the guy ? ''casey asked. megan widened her eyes in surprise. `` you mean, you of all people are actually advocating me giving in to him ? ''she jerked her thumb over at emma. `` i'd expect that out of her but not you . ''casey dabbed the corners of her lips with her napkin. `` it's just a date. i don't think he's going to drug you and drag you to a wedding chapel . ''`` i'd certainly hope not . ''
`` so what's wrong with having an innocent dinner and maybe a movie ? ''casey asked. `` because that's not fair to him. i'd just be leading him on, and i think we can all agree that he doesn't need that . ''`` exactly, '' emma agreed. cocking her head, casey eyed megan thoughtfully. `` deep down, you like him, don't you ? ''megan rolled her eyes. `` of course i do. everyone likes him . ''`` no, you really like him. you find yourself thinking about him more than you should. and you're kinda wishing you weren't such a stubborn ass about dating him. because even though you'd kill to know how well he uses his wang, you're even more intrigued about what being loved by him would be like . ''dumbfounded, megan could only stare at casey. she'd certainly hit the nail on the head about her feelings. finally, she sighed. `` look, it's a no-win situation. i'm a nursing student. i can't get involved with a physician. it just wouldn't look good on my record.
that's just one of the many reasons it wouldn't work between us . ''`` fine. you just keep telling yourself that . ''`` why don't we talk about something else ? ''megan suggested. `` who's up for a movie after we hit the mall ? ''emma asked. megan chewed her lip. `` oh, i don't know if i should be gone that long. i don't want to take advantage of ankle's kindness for watching mason . ''emma shook her head. `` he won't mind. he's happy to do it . ''as megan raised her brows skeptically, casey snorted. `` lem me guess, you bribed him sexually to get him to give up a perfectly good saturday watching two kids who are under two . ''a red flush entered emma's cheeks. `` i don't know what you're talking about . ''casey laughed. `` oh em, you are so busted ! ''leaning forward, she put her elbows on the table and stared straight at emma. `` so what was it? green lingerie? a blow job? maybe a b*w jb while wearing green lingerie ? ''
refusing to meet casey's inquisitive gaze, emma finally murmured, `` it was a b*w jb in the shower this morning, okay ? ''casey snickered. `` i knew you had done something. hmm, that was fun. it was like solving a sexual game of clue-it was emma in the shower with a blow job . ''megan brought her hands up to cover her eyes. `` umm, hello? that's my uncle you're talking about . ''`` sorry, sorry. i'll refrain from making any more comments about aidan and emma's sex life . ''`` thank you, '' megan and emma replied in unison. `` shopping and a movie then ? ''casey questioned. megan reluctantly agreed. `` i'll just blame you two if ankle gets all pissy . ''casey winked. `` just blame emma. then he can take it out on her later ... in the bedroom . ''`` i seriously hate you, '' emma grumbled. thankfully, the food arrived then and all sex-based conversation was forgotten. at least for the moment.
chapter eleven brushing his hand across his sweaty brow, pesh leaned back against the glass door of the trauma area. as the adrenaline began depleting from his system, he needed to prop against something hard for support. regardless of how physically drained he felt, he was emotionally on cloud nine. a beaming smile lit up his face as he stared across the room at the gurney. on it, a young woman was getting acquainted with her newborn son. she had been brought in just twenty minutes before after a car accident sent her into early labor. the paramedics had gotten her through the roughest patches, but thankfully, they had made it to the hospital in time. because her labor was so advanced, they hadn't risked getting her up to the labor and delivery floor. instead, they'd wheeled her in, and pesh had gone to work. it really was an amazing moment considering he'd only delivered three other babies in the history of his medical career. each one was an experience he treasured.
the woman glanced up at him and smiled. `` thank you so much, dr. nadeen . ''`` you're very welcome. they will be taking you up to maternity in just a few minutes . ''as he stepped out of the room, he found himself ambushed by kara, one of the shift nurses. `` hey there. how's the good doctor doing today ? ''the way she spoke was more of a purr, which was a pretty apt summation since she basically acted like she was a cat in heat anytime he was around. he cringed as she ran her hand up his arm. `` it's fine, thank you. how are you ? ''he questioned politely. `` i'm better now that i've seen you, '' she replied. `` yes, well, i need to go see about my next case . ''her heavily painted lips turned down in a pout. `` aren't you ever going to want to get a drink again ? ''inwardly, he groaned. in a moment of weakness when he was still reeling after what had happened with megan, he had allowed her to talk him into getting a drink after work. once turned into several times, and then he did the unthinkable.
he had made out with her in his car under the faded lights of the bar's neon sign. well, making out didn't quite sum up the fact that she had given him a blow job. although he had vowed to never let anything like that happen again, he found himself walking a fine line around her whenever they were at work. `` um, sure. maybe. things have been really busy . ''`` i hope that you'll free up some time. i really, really need a night out with you again . ''reaching around him, kara did the unthinkable. she squeezed one of his ass cheeks. a gasp of shock behind him caused him to whirl around. of all the people in the world that could have been standing there, it had to be megan. pesh quickly jerked out from kara's reach. megan's eyes bulged at the two of them before she quickly looked away. with her head ducked, she started past them. the last thing in the world he needed was for something to be awkward between them. without another word to kara, pesh turned and fell in step beside megan.
`` what are you doing ? ''she asked. he shrugged. `` nothing. just walking with you. is that a problem ? ''glancing over her shoulder at kara, megan said, `` it looked like you were a little busy back there . ''with a grimace, he said, `` the conversation and the contact were unwanted by me . ''megan stared up at him. `` why am i not surprised by that ? ''he eyed her curiously. `` just what do you mean ? ''`` you are not the type of man who does public displays of affection ... or i should say lust . ''`` haven't we already established that you shouldn't try to typecast me? i don't fit into any of the preconceived holes you have tried to put me in . ''`` there is one hole that you remain firmly lodged in, and that is being a gentleman when it comes to women and sex . ''as much as he hated to admit it, she had a point about him being a gentleman. he touched her arm, urging her to stop. `` yes, i am a gentleman both in public and private. but let me address part of your assumption.
when i am committed to a woman and she is committed to me, there is never a time i would reject public displays of affection or lust . ''megan's lips curved up in a smile. `` so what you're saying is you would actually grab your girlfriend's ass in public ? ''`` yes, i would . ''glancing around, he found them happily out of anyone's earshot. `` when i am truly committed to a woman, i have trouble keeping my hands off her regardless of where we are . ''`` that's good to know, '' she replied, with a wink. he couldn't help the silly grin that filled his face as she hurried down the hall to join up with kristi. he was making progress with her, wasn't he? surely megan had to be seeing how much she enjoyed spending time with him in the hospital and would soon decide that she wanted more. his smile started to fade as he wondered if he was deluding himself. with a resigned sigh, he made his way over to the reception bay to sign off on some charts.
he eased down on a stool and immersed himself in the paperwork, so he didn't have to think about megan. `` alpesh ! ''a voice across the room shouted. he snapped his head up. without even looking over his shoulder, pesh knew who the voice belonged to. few people in his life addressed him by his full name, and no one in the hospital ever called him by his first name. slowly, he rose off his stool and turned around. his youngest brother, dev, stalked toward him with a stormy expression plastered on his face. as the oldest of his three siblings, he had always felt a responsibility to look out for his two brothers and sister. while arjan and shveta had never given him any trouble, dev, as the spoiled baby of the family, had been a challenge for both pesh and his parents. after experiencing teenage rebellion and a wayward early adult life, he had managed to get his wild ways under control when he was twenty-five. dev had set his sights on a beautiful nurse pesh had befriended when he was still a resident.
mia martinelli had been through hell with an abusive boyfriend, so pesh was reluctant to pair the two together. but at dev's continued insistence, pesh fixed the two of them up. what followed was a three-year courtship and then engagement. mia was accepted and loved by all of pesh's family. and then dev had gone and thrown it all away by cheating on mia. in her heartbreak, mia had stayed close to pesh, and he wanted her to be happy more than anything else in the world. pesh would have liked to have been surprised by his brother's visit, but ever since he had been summoned to console mia a few days before, he had been anticipating it. truthfully, he had been bracing himself for his brother's wrath. `` hello dev, '' he said, in a calm voice. shaking his head furiously, dev said, `` i just got a f**king blow off text from mia. when i tried calling her back to demand she explain herself, she couldn't talk because she was in mexico. with aj . ''`` yes, i'm aware of that . ''
dev's dark eyes narrowed at pesh's confirmation. `` so it's true that you went to talk to her ? ''`` yes, it is . ''`` i can't believe it . ''he threw up his hands in frustration. `` i didn't want to believe anything mia said, especially that it was you who helped her see that she shouldn't give me a second chance and take me back-that she should make things work with aj . ''`` it's all true. you and i both know mia would never lie . ''`` but how could you ? ''dev demanded, in a strangled voice. `` i'm sorry, but i had to do what was best for mia . ''dev's brows shot up. `` and what about me? i'm your f**king blood . ''with a sigh, pesh replied, `` i'm sorry, my brother, but blood or not, i couldn't stand by and let you hurt her again-she's been through too much . ''`` i love her ! ''dev shouted, which caused several of the nurses to spin around in shock. `` this is not the time nor the place to be having this discussion, '' pesh growled.
`` i'm not going anywhere, so you better start explaining yourself before i really start a scene . ''pesh shook his head. `` fine. you want the truth? here is it. you only think you love mia. you and i both know you can not be faithful to a woman . ''`` i could have for mia . ''`` you already failed her once. she deserved better . ''dev narrowed his eyes. `` what, are you fking her now ? ''he grimaced at his brother's choice of harsh words. `` of course i'm not. there's never been anything amorous between mia and myself. thankfully, she's back with the man she loves-the father of her unborn child . ''`` but i need her, '' dev insisted, his voice taking on a plaintive tone. `` i'm sorry, but i think it's best if you moved on. most of all, baby brother, i think you need to do a lot of soul searching and maturing before you even think about getting in another relationship . ''dev's eyes widened. `` you ... you fking bastard ! ''he shouted.
pesh was debating calling security to remove his unruly brother when he was knocked off his stool by dev's right hook to his jaw. he tumbled backward and crashed onto the floor. before dev could do something like kick him when he was down, megan appeared and wedged herself between them. `` i think you better leave before i call security, '' she demanded. pesh struggled to his feet as megan came into dev's line of fire. he couldn't bear if dev hurt her in his anger just because she had taken up for him. dev stared down at megan with a smirk. `` so my brother needs some pint-sized pu**y defending him now? word to the wise, sweetheart, don't waste your time on him. he's only got a boner for his dead wife . ''a deep growl erupted in pesh's throat as he lunged for his brother. but he never made it. instead, megan's fist cracked into dev's jaw. the impact didn't take him off his feet, but he did stagger backwards.
even as she flailed her wrist back and forth from the obvious pain, megan still managed to bellow, `` get the hell out of here. now . ''dev stared at her in shock as he rubbed his jaw. `` crazy bitch, '' he muttered, before stalking off. when megan turned to him, her glowering expression faded to one of concern. `` you're bleeding ! ''she cried, rushing for him. his hand came up to grip his cheek. surprise flooded him when he felt wetness. dev must've hit him harder than he thought. he slid his jaw back and forth, causing him to grimace at the popping sound. `` come here, '' megan said, grabbing his hand. she started leading him over to one of the examining rooms, but he jerked back. `` i don't need all this fuss . ''megan shook her head. `` we need to get you cleaned up . ''resignedly, he followed her into the room. for the first time in a long time, he found himself on the opposite line of care. he eased down onto the examining table. `` really, megan, this isn't necessary . ''
as she busied herself taking out gauze, cotton balls, and antiseptic, she replied, `` quit your bitchin ' . ''she glanced over her shoulder at him. at what must have been his incredulous expression at her word choice, she grinned. `` that's right. just shut up and let me take care of you . ''`` when you put it like that, how can i not ? ''he teased. her laughter warmed his heart. deep down, he was pleased to find her so attentive to him. she obviously really cared about him if she insisted on cleaning him up. or was she just attentive because she was a great nurse? but then there was the fact she punched dev for insulting him. of course, that was also mortifying. did that mean she questioned his manhood since he didn't go toe-to-toe with his brother? god, what she must think of him now. as he allowed megan to treat his cuts, his thoughts turned to dev's last verbal punch. he grimaced about dev's alluding to the fact he was in love with a ghost.
was that what stopped megan from believing his attraction to her? was she really hiding her commitment phobia behind a belief that he was still completely in love with his wife? his feelings gave him away when megan asked, `` are you hurting ? ''`` no, i'm fine . ''when she gave him a skeptical look, he replied, `` it's more the fact that i'm angry than i am physically hurt . ''`` so what exactly was all that about ? ''she asked, as she dabbed some antiseptic along his jawline. he winced when the medication hit the broken skin. `` my brother is angry with me . ''megan snorted. `` no shit . ''she held the cotton ball frozen as she eyed him curiously. `` what i'm wondering is what got him so fired up that he would stomp into a hospital, call you out, and then punch you? you are the last person on earth i would imagine being in a fight . ''`` the reason is so cliche, '' he murmured. `` enlighten me, '' she urged.
`` he's a petulant child who didn't get his way-he's lashing out at me because he thinks it's all my fault . ''`` i heard the name mia. was it all about a woman ? ''`` yes, that's why i called it cliche . ''he sucked in a harsh breath before filling megan in about what all had transpired between him, dev, and mia. `` wow, '' she murmured, when he finished. `` i suppose that is all one can say about the situation . ''`` you were awfully kind to take care of her like you did-i mean, with both her abusive ex-boyfriend and dev . ''he shrugged. `` what else was i supposed to do? i cared for her, and i wanted to see her happy . ''at the look that flashed in megan's eyes, he quickly added, `` there was no amorous love between us. i was happily married at the time, and she desperately needed someone to be strong for her . ''megan cupped his unhurt cheek in her hand. `` you really are the most decent man i've ever known . ''`` i don't know about that, '' he murmured. `` you truly are . ''she shook her head.
`` no wonder women are so crazy about you. it's one thing for you to be so good-looking and a smart doctor, but then when you add in the fact of how sweet, caring, and compassionate you are, it's like you're a triple threat . ''she turned to throw the cotton ball into the trash can. his heartbeat thrummed louder and louder at her words while he sat unblinking and unmoving. part of him wanted to rail at her for not seeing him like all the other women did. if she truly saw what others did, then she would want to date him, wouldn't she? why couldn't she see how good he could be for her? when megan met his tense gaze, she jerked back and momentarily faltered by dropping the piece of gauze in her hand. she quickly deposited the soiled one in the trash and then got another one. `` so this mia chick, she's run off with some drummer, huh ? ''she asked, clearly trying to change the subject and lighten the mood in the room. `` not just any drummer. a famous one at that . ''`` really? what band ? ''
pesh's cocked his head as he tried remembering. `` something train . ''megan gasped. `` not runaway train ? ''he snapped his fingers. `` that's it . ''clapping her hand to her chest, megan's eyes widened. `` you know someone who knows aj resendiz ? ''pesh laughed. `` i suppose i do if you consider that's mia's fiance . ''`` that is so wild. i love that band . ''`` i'll see if i can get you an autograph . ''with a squeal, megan said, `` really? that would be amazing . ''`` anything for the woman who is willing to risk her life for me . ''megan laughed. `` it was nothing . ''`` what about your hand ? ''`` i'm not going to lie. it hurts. i kinda forgot what punching someone felt like . ''pesh couldn't help his brows from rising in surprise. `` have you done a lot of fighting ? ''she grinned. `` not exactly mma material, am i ? ''when he merely shook his head, she replied, `` i may have thrown a few punches in my early college partying days when a guy overstepped his bounds . ''
with a smile, pesh said, `` good for you . ''`` yeah, my dad was really big on teaching me self-defense moves. you know, with him being ex-military . ''pesh couldn't help liking megan's strength and spunk. he hadn't known a lot of women like her. in his world, women were bred to be demure and obedient. even though jade wasn't indian, she would've never dreamed of throwing a punch to defend him against dev. but megan, she was so refreshing with her ability to stand up for herself and others-to voice her mind whether it was good or bad. `` you would have made your father very proud today . ''`` thank you. i'm sure later on today when my knuckles are bruising, he'll want to know why . ''`` i'm very sorry . ''he took her hand in his before bringing it to his lips. `` here's a kiss to make any bruises go away . ''she gave him a teasing smile. `` is that the best medicine you can do, dr. nadeen ? ''his mind went wild with illicit images of all the `` medicine '' and `` healing '' he could give her.
a chaste kiss to alleviate her pain was all he could really offer. his pager went off before he could reply. `` i better go . ''he hopped off the table and started for the door. as his hand hovered over the doorknob, there were so many things he wanted to say to her. but finally, he just said, `` thanks again for taking care of me . ''`` you're welcome . ''`` and you should probably ice your hand during your break tonight . ''`` yes sir, '' she replied, with a mock salute. he shook his head at her with a smile before heading out the door. chapter twelve days melted into weeks as megan immersed herself in her clinicals. every day she found a new challenge to conquer. she hadn't imagined how hard it would be, or how exhausted she would be most nights when she crawled into bed. but it was a thrilling exhaustion because she was doing what she felt like she was called to do. each day, she spent more and more time with pesh. she loved working beside him on cases.
he had the best bedside manner of all the residents and interns. patients, both young and old, adored him. and the more she was with him, the more megan began to adore him as well. she had just left an examining room where he had charmed a little boy into finally letting them run the tests they needed when kristi beckoned her from down the hall. after hustling to join kristi, megan was quickly ushered inside one of the trauma rooms. immediately, her entire body switched gears as she prepared herself for what she might face. `` female, thirty, car accident, '' the paramedic began before rattling off her vitals and other information. after megan had absorbed the information, she turned to the patient. `` hi, i'm megan. i'm going to get your iv started . ''the woman gave megan a weak smile. `` i'm mary . ''`` i guess it would be wrong to say it's nice to meet you, huh ? ''megan said, trying to talk as normally as she could to put the patient at ease. `` yeah, i guess so, '' mary replied.
when megan reached for mary's arm to find a place for the needle, mary winced. `` ouch . ''as megan surveyed the forearm, she shook her head. `` looks like you've got a break there . ''`` my arm is broken ? ''mary asked in a panic. `` we won't know until we get you into x-ray. i'm going to try this vein here in your wrist . ''the needle slipped easily into the vein, and megan started the iv. pesh appeared in the doorway then. he smiled at mary on the gurney. `` hello, mary, i'm dr. nadeen. i understand you had a little accident today ? ''she nodded. `` this car came out of nowhere and hit me head on . ''`` i'm so sorry. why don't we start by you telling me where it hurts ? ''`` my chest, '' she said, with a grimace. pesh pulled back the hospital gown. `` were you wearing your seat belt ? ''`` yes, i always do . ''`` from the dust in your hair, can i assume the airbag deployed ? ''`` yeah, it did . ''`` is this where it hurts ? ''he asked, running his fingers down an angry red whelp.
it started at her neck and crossed over her chest. some of it was hidden by the many leads coming from the heart monitor. `` yeah . ''`` it looks like the seat belt and the airbag did a number on you . ''mary winced. `` i thought they were supposed to help you, not hurt you . ''pesh smiled. `` trust me. you're much better off with a little burn than if you hadn't been wearing it . ''after eyeing the monitors mary was hooked up to, he turned to megan. `` blood pressure is low. let's administer some blood products to raise it . ''megan nodded. after checking mary's chart for her blood type, she grabbed a bag of blood from the coolers. trading places with pesh, she started another iv in the crook of mary's right elbow. `` besides your chest, are you hurting anywhere else ? ''pesh asked, after he finished listening to her heart and lungs. `` my stomach . ''megan's breath hitched. it was never good for a car accident patient to have stomach pains.
that usually meant hemorrhaging, which could also attribute the low blood pressure. pressing on mary's abdomen, pesh asked, `` does this hurt ? ''`` no . ''`` here ? ''`` no . ''`` what about here ? ''a screech came from the bed. pesh's brows drew with worry. `` i'm going to do a quick ultrasound, mary. i want to see what's causing the pain . ''`` okay . ''megan pulled the machine over to the bedside. she squirted the jelly onto mary's stomach, and then pesh began running the wand over the skin. `` i'm feeling a little dizzy, too, '' mary said, in a low voice. pesh and megan exchanged a quick look before he shoved the ultrasound machine back. turning to kristi, he said, `` call the or. she's got a ruptured spleen . ''after depressing the break on the gurney, pesh swung it out of the trauma room and started down the hall. `` go with him, '' kristi instructed, as she held onto the phone. megan jogged down the hall to catch up with pesh.
he smacked the buttons on the elevator before glancing down at mary. `` stay with me, okay? we're going to get you into surgery, and then you'll be good as new . ''`` are you sure ? ''she asked. without hesitation, pesh replied, `` yes, but you have to stay with me . ''the elevator's doors slid open. as megan helped pesh push the gurney inside, mary asked, `` did you turn on more lights ? ''megan creased her brows in worry as she glanced over to pesh. `` we're getting in the elevator to take you to the or for surgery, '' she replied. `` but it's so bright, '' mary whispered before closing her eyes. her head lolled to the side just as the alarms on the monitors began screeching in megan's ears. `` dammit, she's crashing ! ''pesh cried. ice-cold fear pricked its way from the top of megan's head all the way down her body. a patient was crashing in the elevator without the crash cart. what the hell were they supposed to do? `` lower the gurney, '' pesh ordered.
megan's jerky hands fumbled with the lever. once it was flat, pesh brought his hands to mary's chest and began compressions. without having to be told, megan leaned down, pinched mary's nose, and began breathing into her mouth. they worked in perfect synchronization. `` stay with me, mary ! ''pesh barked, as his hands pumped in a manic pace up and down on mary's chest. glancing up from her breathing, megan eyed the monitors. `` no pulse . ''when pesh didn't respond, she continued doing breathing cycles. at the taste of something warm meeting her lips, she jerked back. blood oozed out of mary's mouth. `` there's more damage than the spleen. she's bleeding from the mouth . ''pesh didn't even acknowledge her comment. `` the seat belt and airbag could have caused an aortic tear as well. there's nothing we can do . ''instead, he kept right on with his compressions. the elevator doors opened, and megan met the expectant faces of the surgical team. when one doctor stepped forward, she shook her head.
`` she's gone . ''pesh growled across from her. `` no, she isn't. we have to keep trying. get a cart in here . ''the doctor eyed the stats on the monitors. `` i don't think it will help . ''jerking his head up from mary, pesh snarled, `` get the f**king cart ! ''as one of the nurses scrambled away, two others pulled the gurney from the elevator. megan stood back, feeling helpless as to what to do. once the cart arrived, pesh ripped open mary's gown. `` charging 260 joules . ''he rubbed the paddles together. `` clear ! ''mary's chest jolted off the gurney with the force of the electricity. megan didn't need to look at the monitors. the heart stayed in a flat line. `` charging 360 joules . ''megan closed her eyes when pesh administered the second shock. `` dammit, jade, don't do this! try for me ! ''megan couldn't hold back the gasp that escaped her at pesh calling mary by his late wife's name. before pesh could do another charge, one of the surgeon's stepped forward.
after he removed his mask, he put his hand on pesh's back. `` calling time of death . ''defeated, pesh dropped his head. slowly, he eased back from the gurney. a nurse took the paddles from him and put them back on the cart. `` i'll go notify the family, '' pesh murmured. the surgeon shook his head and stared pointedly at megan. `` get a resident to do that. nadeen, you go take a breather, buddy . ''`` they deserve to speak to the doctor who was with her when she died . ''`` you don't need to do this . ''pesh slung away from the surgeon and started for the elevator. megan knew there was no point in arguing with him or trying to get one of the residents to take his place. she didn't know if she should try to go to him or not. she regretted her decision when he turned to face her in the elevator. his expression was agonizingly broken. as the doors closed, her heart ached for him. she knew any doctor hated to lose a patient, especially a young one, but this went far deeper than that.
from his behavior, megan knew that mary's death had exposed a raw nerve in pesh-one that after two years still hadn't healed. somehow he had seen his wife in mary, and once again, he wasn't able to save her. after she had escorted mary's body back upstairs to wait on the funeral home, megan went in search of pesh. she couldn't find him in any of the exam rooms, nor was he in the doctors ' lounge or break room. finally, she went to kristi for answers. `` did you see where dr. nadeen went ? ''kristi gave her a sad smile. `` you'll probably find him on the roof . ''megan's brows shot up in surprise. `` the roof ? ''kristi nodded. `` whenever he has a really bad day about his wife- '' she sucked in a breath when she realized she might have said too much. at the thought of pesh's grief, megan's chest tightened in agony. he was too good of a man to have to suffer like he did. `` so he goes up to the roof ? ''megan finished for kristi. `` he likes to be alone to clear his head.
although none of us would say anything, he usually ends up pulling another shift to make up for the time he was gone . ''of course pesh would do something like that. he was honorable every moment of his life, even after those of immense grief. even though she knew he probably wanted and needed to be alone, megan wanted to check on him. she couldn't bear the thoughts of him suffering so much. `` um, if it's okay, i think i'll go ahead and take my dinner break . ''kristi gave her a knowing look before nodding. `` sure, honey. go right ahead . ''megan smiled before brushing past kristi. she bypassed the break room where her purse was. instead, she kept going. after a brisk walk down the hall, she got to the authorized personnel only stairwell. she didn't dare use the elevator shaft where trauma patients were brought in from being airlifted. without hesitation, megan swiped her access card. when the lock clicked, she flung the door open and started up the flights of stairs.
she was winded when she reached the top. cautiously, her hand hovered over the doorknob. she couldn't help wondering what she might find on the other side. would pesh be an emotional mess? would he be angry that she had interrupted his private grieving? shaking the thoughts from her head, she flung open the door. as she stepped onto the roof, the air grew cooler. a breeze rippled her scrubs. her gaze spun around frantically until she found him. pesh stood at the edge of the roof. his usual ramrod straight posture was slumped, his broad shoulders drawn in. although she couldn't see his face, his gaze seemed fixed straight ahead into the night sky. to add insult to injury, clouds blotted out the stars, cloaking everything in darkness. tentatively, she started over to him. `` hey, '' she said softly. he whirled around in surprise. her heart clenched at the sight of the tears sparkling in his eyes. even in the darkness, she could see a blood-red flush entering his cheeks.
his hands quickly came up to swipe away the moisture from his eyes. `` hello, '' he finally replied in a hoarse whisper. they stood in an awkward silence, staring each other down. finally, megan took a step forward to close the gap between them. `` how did you know i was up here ? ''he asked. `` kristi told me . ''`` hmm . ''unable to stop herself, she reached out to touch his arm. `` i'm so sorry, pesh . ''`` it isn't necessary . ''she shook her head. `` yes, it is. you're in pain ... you've been in pain. i can't help but feel sorry for what you're going through . ''his usually warm eyes took on a cold look. `` you were in that elevator, too. you have every right to be emotional. maybe you should be more concerned with why you aren't weeping . ''`` don't, '' she murmured. `` don't what ? ''`` don't try to mask your pain by being someone you're not or by pointing fingers at others. that isn't you, and you can't fool me . ''with a ragged sigh, pesh jerked his hand through his dark, wavy hair.
`` i'm sorry. that was completely uncalled for . ''`` it's okay . ''`` no, it's- '' she silenced him by bringing her hand up to cover his lips. when she pulled her hand away, he sighed. `` talk to me, '' megan pleaded. the clouds above them opened up, causing a slight drizzle to fall. `` the death of a patient is never easy. any doctor of worth, or nurse for that matter, must possess compassion. then it is inevitable that the same compassion you possess will come back to haunt you-it may even cripple you. when death comes, you can't help feeling for the life that has been lost and for the family members left behind . ''his voice choked off, and megan drew herself even closer to him. she knew that his last statement held personal meaning for him. `` what exactly happened to your wife ? ''she questioned softly. pesh's eyes closed. `` jade had an undiagnosed clotting condition. she was adopted, so she didn't know anything really about her family history.
she'd always been in perfect health-she rarely even went to the doctor with the sniffles. and after we'd been married for three years, we decided it was time to have a baby . ''when pesh remained silent, megan tentatively asked, `` did she die in childbirth ? ''he shook his head. `` no, we never got that far. we tried for over a year to get pregnant on our own, and it didn't happen. so we were recommended to a fertility clinic. once the iui process didn't work, we started ivf . ''a ragged sigh came from deep in his chest. `` the whole process was physically trying and then emotionally gutting for both of us, but especially for jade . ''he met her gaze. `` she blamed herself since the testing revealed that everything was fine with me. although we were labeled as 'non-specific infertility, ' she felt that it was all her fault . ''`` bless her heart, '' megan murmured, as her heart went out to a woman she'd never met. getting pregnant had been so easy for her.
although mason wasn't necessarily expected, he had never been unwanted in her eyes. but she knew what infertility did to a woman when she saw it ravage her father's sister. although her aunt was now the happy and doting mother of two adopted girls, she knew the emotional toil not getting pregnant had taken. megan, herself, had once been the recipient of her aunt's childless pain when she had announced her pregnancy with mason. still without answers as to how jade had died, megan pressed pesh for more. `` so what happened with the ivf ? ''`` she got pregnant on the first transfer only to miscarry three weeks later. we had just been through another transfer when she died . ''pesh's adam's apple bobbed up and down as he swallowed hard. megan could only imagine he was trying to keep his emotions in check. finally, he spoke again. `` she had an embolism most likely brought on by the fertility medication. i was in the kitchen making breakfast when i heard a crash in the bedroom . ''tears pooled in his eyes.
`` when i called her name and she didn't answer, i ran back to her. she was crumpled on the bedroom floor. after calling 911, i did cpr over and over again, but i could never revive her . ''`` oh pesh, '' megan murmured. the weight of his pain was so heavy that even she found it hard to breathe. without looking at her, he continued staring straight ahead. `` from what the medical examiner said, i have some peace in knowing she didn't suffer-that she went quickly without any fear or pain. one minute she was getting ready for work, and the next she was gone . ''`` it's true that there is some peace, especially the fact she didn't know she was going to die. sometimes i can't imagine what it must be like for terminal patients . ''she shuddered. `` when you wonder if every day is your last, when you have to think about all you're going to miss . ''`` yes, that is true, '' he said, in a hushed whisper. when he finally turned to look at her, he gave her a sad smile. `` it's been two years.
every time i think i've moved on, that i've been able to compartmentalize my grief, a case comes through that brings me to my knees . ''`` i'm so sorry, '' megan murmured, bringing her hand up to cup his cheek. he leaned his face into her hand. his head bowed until their foreheads met. `` you have to remember that no matter what happened to your wife, and to mary, it wasn't your fault. you weren't responsible. you need to keep living. you're alive . ''tilting her head up, she gazed into his dark brown eyes. `` you're alive, '' she repeated. the rain began to fall harder. her eyelids fluttered to keep the moisture out of her eyes as she gazed up at him. his mouth hovered next to hers, his breath warming her cheek. she could barely breathe in that moment. it was like every molecule in her body was pulsing with need. silently, she pleaded with her eyes for him to kiss her. and then, after what felt like an eternity, he slid his lips over hers.
it wasn't the first time she had kissed him-it was just the first time she was sober and had kissed him. now her senses were heightened, and she could experience exactly what she was feeling. his lips were tender and soft at first, and then they switched over to desperate and demanding. it was like he was breathing her in with every brush of his lips and stroke of his tongue as if to prove to himself that he truly was alive. his tongue danced along hers, causing her to moan. he brought his hands up to cup her face while her arms went around his chest, pulling him closer to her. drops of rain pelted her head and ran down her cheeks while pesh's white coat grew moist as she ran her hands up and down his back. she realized, in a dizzying flurry, that no man had ever kissed her like this before. this was like lovemaking with their mouths, and she never wanted it to end. when pesh finally tore his lips from hers, megan's breaths came in heaving pants. her eyes opened to stare up at him.
his expression turned from lust to anguish. he shook his head. `` i'm sorry . ''`` pesh, you don't- '' he held up his hand. `` please, just go . ''he turned away from her, wrapping his arms around his chest. torn, megan didn't know if she should argue with him and stay or leave. `` please, '' he whispered. with her heart still beating wildly from their passionate lip-lock, she turned and fled. as she pounded back down the stairs, her emotions yo-yoed to where she felt like a watch that had been wound too tight. after bursting back through the door, kristi met her in the hallway. her eyes widened at megan's appearance. `` i, uh, i went outside on my dinner break, and it started raining, '' megan lied. `` next time you'll have to remember your umbrella, '' kristi replied. megan nodded. `` yeah, i will . ''`` why don't you go to the break room? there's a hair dryer under the sink. when you finish drying off, i could really use you in the supply closet doing inventory.
seems like we always almost run out of everything at once . ''`` sure. i can do that . ''as megan turned to go down the hallway, kristi reached out and grabbed her arm. `` is he okay ? ''megan bit down on her lip to keep a hysterical laugh from escaping. was pesh okay? was she okay? who the hell knew? one minute he'd been weeping about his wife and losing a patient, and the next he'd been liquid passion dripping on her lips. regardless of his emotional whiplash, she'd experienced the same. she now found herself wanting more of his kisses when she shouldn't. but it wasn't just the kiss she wanted-she wanted all of him and not just for sex. `` no, he's not. i guess he's just trying to accept the loss, both past and present, as best he can, '' she finally replied. kristi nodded in acknowledgement. when megan felt she was free from any more questioning, she hurried down the hall to the break room. thankfully, she found it empty.
after grabbing a brush from her purse, she went to the sink to grab the hair dryer. gazing at her reflection in the mirror, she looked a bedraggled mess. she was practically washed out except for her lips. they were swollen and bright red from pesh's kisses. her finger came up to trace her bottom lip. as memories of his kisses filled her mind, she tried desperately to think of anything else. in the end, she had gone up to the roof to somehow save pesh, and instead, she had lost herself to him and his emotions. chapter thirteen pesh regretfully watched megan's retreating form. he cursed under his breath as she disappeared into the stairwell. what was his problem? the woman had been merely comforting him, and he had allowed his libido to take over. he had promised her he would keep his distance. regardless of the flirting and easy banter between them, he had kept things professional. now she probably felt trapped and harassed by him. she tried to talk to him about it, and he'd dismissed her.
he paced around the rooftop as the rain that had soaked him to the bone began to dissipate. his mind was a jangled mess of thoughts and emotions. one voice argued over and over that megan had wanted him to kiss her-that the look in her eyes told the truth. but pesh worried that in his agony he had misread the signals she may or may not have been giving. in the end, he'd made a terrible situation even worse by not being able to control his feelings for megan. with a frustrated grunt, he realized he had to make things right with her. he needed to apologize. casting one last look out over the horizon, he then turned and started for the stairwell. after pounding downstairs, he searched the hallway for any signs of megan. when he spotted kristi, he was surprised not to see megan with her. `` where's megan ? ''he asked. `` oh, since we're kinda slow tonight, i asked her to go work in the storage closet. we're behind on inventory and cataloguing . ''`` i see . ''
kristi eyed him up and down before shaking her head. `` you're drenched . ''`` it's raining outside . ''`` so i've heard, '' she said knowingly. `` what does that mean ? ''he asked. she waved her hand. `` nothing. why don't you do us both a favor and go get out of those wet clothes? the last thing we need is you coming down with something . ''pesh knew it was fruitless to argue with her. instead, he tucked his tail between his legs and made his way to the doctors ' lounge. he took a clean pair of pants and shirt out of his locker. after he slid on a new white coat, he strode down the hall to the medicine closet. after swiping his key card, he entered the room. when he closed the door behind him, megan turned around, gazing expectantly at him. now that he was in front of her, he didn't know exactly what to say. he had been on an emotional overload on the roof, and things had escalated far too quickly. `` look, i just want to say how very sorry i am about kissing you . ''
`` well i'm not, '' she replied matter-of-factly. pesh's neck snapped back in shock. her response wasn't what he was expecting at all. he had imagined she might be relieved or even embarrassed, but he hadn't imagined that she would be unregretful. he cleared his throat. `` regardless, i shouldn't have done it. i was in an emotionally vulnerable position, and you were merely trying to comfort me. nothing more . ''his words were more for his own good than hers. she shook her head. `` just because i was comforting you, doesn't mean i didn't want you to kiss me. that i still don't want to kiss you again . ''his brows furrowed in confusion. `` but you- '' `` pesh, i've wanted you since the night of noah's baptism. but you shot me down then, and you still do . ''although his heart wanted to soar at her admission of wanting him, the reality of her words caused his chest to clench instead. `` sexually. you only want me sexually . ''`` yes . ''
he should have been flattered that a young, sexy woman like megan desired him. but he wasn't. half of the women in the hospital would be willing for him to drag them to an empty patient's room for a quick and dirty screw. but that's not who he was. he had never been that way with women, and he didn't see how it could be possible to change. all he wanted was for her to really see him and how good he could be for her. how good they would be for each other. he thought that was what she was feeling in the moments before and after he kissed her. but now it seemed it was once again only lust. although it was probably pointless, he couldn't help putting everything out there once again. `` but when we were up on the roof, there wasn't a moment where you wanted more from me than just sex ? ''he licked his lips and took a step toward her. `` just a second where you could imagine your life with me in it ? ''megan stared at him, her expression contemplative.
for a brief moment, pesh thought by her hesitation that she had changed her mind about him. but then she shook her head. `` how many times are you going to make me hurt you with this? you're too good for me, pesh. we both know that. i'll remind you again of some of the reasons i'm not the one for you. i'm twenty-five, and you're thirty-seven. you want a wife, and i'm not ready to be married . ''her words cut into his chest the same as if she had taken a sharp blade to him. she may have had to repeat herself this time, but he realized the finality of her words. and then an idea hit him so hard that he shuddered-a true light bulb moment and epiphany. there was only one way he was going to get to have his sweet megan, and that was if he gave in to her. he would have to become someone else for her, even if it was just for a little while. he could distract her with sex that she both desired and demanded, but at the same time, he would make her fall in love with him. it could work. it had to.
cocking his head at her, he questioned, `` so let me get this straight once and for all. you would let me ... '' he paused, fighting the conflict within himself to say what he needed to. he drew in a ragged breath. `` you would let me fk you but not love you ? ''her eyes widened at his word choice. `` what's gotten into you ? ''he shrugged nonchalantly, feeling slightly empowered in the dr. jekyll and mr. hyde moment. `` i merely asked a simple question . ''she snorted exasperatedly. `` yeah, about ... '' she swallowed hard. `` fucking, of all things . ''`` yes . ''megan shook her head wildly back and forth. `` i can barely acknowledge hearing you say the word, least of all you doing that . ''`` you can't imagine me- '' she held up her hand. `` you're not the type of man to fk, '' she countered. crossing his arms over his chest, he countered, `` oh really? i'm too nice of a guy ? ''`` something like that . ''`` i am a man, megan. we all have needs. isn't f**king one of them ? ''
her body trembled slightly at his words. she licked her lips before replying, `` s-stop saying that word-it isn't you . ''`` so, fking isn't me? don't tell me you think i'm totally asexual-that you can't imagine me fking a woman ... fucking you . ''he eased in closer to her. `` we both know for a fact that you wanted nothing more than to fk me the night of noah's baptism. given the chance right now, you'd let me strip off your scrubs and fk you up against the medicine cabinet . ''as her chest heaved up and down, she took a step back from him, bumping against the counter. `` but you don't say things like that. you're refined. you're a gentleman, '' she whispered. `` it may have been a while, but even a gentleman like me enjoys f**king . ''he closed the gap between them. `` what are you doing ? ''she whispered. `` i'm giving you what you want . ''`` you're giving in ? ''`` yeah, why not ? ''as he dipped his head, his mouth hovered over hers.
`` if you really want me to take you, then kiss me . ''without a moment's hesitation, megan crashed her lips against his. the kiss was hard and desperately seeking more. as his tongue thrust into her mouth, his hand came to her breast. tenderly, he cupped the flesh, feeling the weight fill his hand. unsatisfied with the lack of contact, he pulled his hand away and slid it underneath megan's top. over her bra, he kneaded her breast again, feeling her nipple harden under his touch. he felt his erection grow at the sound of her whimper. he wanted nothing more than to strip off all her clothes and kiss every inch of her body. megan's mouth popped off of his, and she stared up at him with hooded eyes. `` what about someone finding us ? ''`` i'll lock the door, '' he replied. reluctantly, he pulled away from her to walk back over to the door. after he turned the lock, he made sure to push a box in front of it as well. they would have enough warning if someone were to try to use their card to come in.