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train · 127 rows

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	I was a very energetic kid, so I had the ability to, I guess, if I enjoyed doing something, I could keep going on, I would be really energetic and keep playing all day and so on and so forth. So I had that in me.
	natural energy in me but I probably didn't have the drive or the vision, the focus to channelize that energy well. Obviously when your habits are not great, when you're young, you're not that disciplined, you're partying, you're not taking care of your rest, you have a few drinks as well, your system is not responding to your needs.
	way it should be for a sportsman. And I think it has to be a thing that comes from within. It can't be taught to you, it can't be explained from the outside. So luckily that thing came to me itself that you need to get your act right if you want to be a successful international cricketer. Because if you continue...
	like this, just gonna be one player who played for a few years and then disappeared because he wasn't disciplined enough or didn't maximize his potential. So I thought okay I love batting, I'm working hard at cricket but how can I improve, how can I get better, what can I add to my game and then the whole fitness thing
	No, it struck me and it came to me and actually I am grateful for the fact that the game also moved simultaneously. So I started working on myself in 2012 midway after the IPL. About 2013 is the time that I became too lean. 2014 I continued like that. Then 2015 onwards Mr. Shankar Basu was the Indian team's leader.
	trainer and worked in RCEB as well. He introduced me to Olympic lifting and speed strength and power endurance and these kind of things and I had never experienced that before and because I trusted him, he had worked with me for eight years, he said trust me just give this a go and you will see wonders happening with your body. I said okay I trust you.
	I did this for three weeks and my body just responded in a way that I never felt like myself ever again. Like the slower self. I felt like someone had just put high octane fuel in my body and I was just flying. And from then on it became an obsession. I was like, I'm feeling quicker. I can reach the top.
	I am able to react better on the ball, I am reacting better while catching, I am able to feel longer periods for the whole day. So I am able to contribute for my team five times more than I was before. So why should I stop it? And if I am leading and if I want my teammates to put in effort, I should be there all day doing that.
	that first, you know, before asking someone else to do it. So everything came together so wonderfully, my own thinking, my mindset, the fitness, changed the boost through Mr. Basu, our trainer. The whole thing came along so well together. And I think 2016 is when I really hit my fitness peak. The
	I want to maintain the standard that I'm playing at now till the time I finish. I don't want to be standing in the field and not being able to the way I do right now. It's just not in me to play like that. If I can't do that, I will stop. So that is my vision. I want to be able to contribute till the last day I play for India the way I'm doing now with the same energy, same...
	So I will do anything and everything in my ability to achieve that on a daily basis. It's not easy. I mean, if you ask me, do I get affected by failure? Yes, I do. Everyone does at the end of the day. So it's difficult to process failure at such a big stage. But also you have to understand that.
	I totally believe in the fact that what's meant to be for you will happen. We play a sport where we feel like we are involved every ball. You are responsible to make something happen. So even failure and success, you start looking like we failed because of me or you know...
	I made success happen. So I think somewhere or the other we need to understand that all we can do is work hard and put in our best effort. As long as your intent is right, your heart is in the right place and you're going along the right path and you're doing things with the right intent, that's all you can do.
	No one, as you said, no one wants to go out there and fail or not succeed or have moments like this. No one wants to do that. No one wants to experience that. But success and failure is a part of everything that we do, whether it's sport, whether it's in daily life, whether you lose someone close to you, whether you lose your family, whether you lose your friends, whether you lose your family, whether you lose your friends, whether
	It's a problem in your job, anything. It is the truth of life. You need to be able to accept both with grace. That's the thing that I've learnt. You can't go gung ho when you succeed. You can't say, oh I'm not thinking the world or we are invincible now. When you fail, you can't...
	beat yourself down so much that you can't get up again. So I think you need to feel the hurt, you need to feel where could I have done things differently. I think failure is a great way or a great opportunity to analyze what went wrong and to improve on those mistakes because at the end of the day cricket is all about that. When you make a mistake while batting you want to improve.
	with the next time you walk out to play or if you play a false shot and you haven't gotten out you want to improve with the next ball and similarly for bowlers and fielder you make a mistake you feel really bad about it but then you catch one and then you feel like okay I've corrected my mistake and I think life is all about that it's about making mistakes on a regular basis but having the courage and the acceptability of the game.
	and the clarity to say, okay, I have made a mistake, I'm not gonna be egoistic about it, I'm gonna lay it down, understand what happened, improve on it and walk forward. Because as you said, people say things, people attack you, if you start focusing on that, you cannot progress because those are opinions, those are things that are.
	happening on the outside. You know what opinion you hold, you know the intent you played and you need to be true to that. So the most, the biggest challenge I felt was being true to your own beliefs. If you focus on things which are only based on success and numbers and results.
	I don't think you enjoy the process. And we as a team, we play so well because we enjoy the process. We enjoy being in difficult situations and coming out on top. Basically what we are doing on a daily basis is competing with ourselves. How good can we be when we are put under pressure? It's not about coming up against someone or trying to prove someone else.
	wrong. It's about bringing our own standard of cricket higher and higher on a daily basis and setting examples, the right examples for the next generation to take over whenever that happens. I don't know how to explain it, I mean, I just hate losing. You know, I basically I hate losing.
	in anything. That is how a sportsman is made up. That is the makeup of any sportsman competing at the highest level. So that's a given. No one is fine with losing or fine with failing. You accept it, you process it, that's different. But the most important thing for me
	in anything I do on the field is I don't want to walk out and say maybe I could have done this. I don't want any maybes, I don't want any what ifs. When I step onto that field, it's a privilege, it's an honor for me and when I walk out, I want to have zero energy left because that is what I do.
	I am supposed to do. That is why I am selected. I am not selected because I am privileged or I should be comforted because I have reached the highest level. However hard I have worked for age group cricket, this has to be a constant 10 times hard working process on a daily basis because I am representing my country. And there could not be...
	bigger honor for me. So I understand the importance of where I've come from, the opportunity I have every time that I step onto the field. I don't want to leave any stone unturned. I hate having the feeling of maybe I could have gone for that catch, maybe I could have pushed an extra
	in the yard for an extra run. I just, that I somehow can't process. So it is, I'm actually always trying to avoid that feeling. That's why I go along about my work in a crazy manner where I just have to put all my effort into every ball that I play, field or I'm a part of.
	I remember I was not disciplined at all in terms of my eating and my fitness. I can't even relate to that guy anymore that I was in those years. So I played IPL from 2008, 2009, 2011 and then 2012. IPL 2012 was... I was playing for India.
	I was playing for the national team at the highest level but I hadn't got the success that some of the established players did. And IPL 2012 again had a really really bad IPL season and my eating habits were horrible in that season. Very very bad. I like to remember coming back.
	home and I came out of the shower the team didn't do well I came out of the shower and looked at myself and I was like that's the time it hit me you know and luckily everything that's that's been bad in me somehow I get that calling myself that you need to get it done like they're hardly anyone coming and telling me you know you're really bad.
	It just comes from within and then I saw myself in the mirror and I was like you can't look like that You're an international bigot. I was like How the hell are you gonna continue like this if you don't take care of yourself boom from next day onwards? I just change everything about my diet Hitting the gym two hours a day just taking a day off
	in a week eating proper lean food I got away from all kinds of junk I did not have a cheat day at all and within 8 to 10 months I lost about 6 or 7 kgs and from then on it became such an addiction because I saw the results of real-life health
	I felt lighter, felt more focused and then I was like, man this is the bathroom. It was before all of this happened, this was when I played for the country and then I was left out and for 13 months I was selected again and then it became sort of a madness that I want to get back up, I want to get back into the team and then you know those those
	13 months I was like I was so focused I was so focused that I want to get back I want to get back into the team and my performances were such that selectors could not ignore me after a while so eventually I got my chance again and luckily I've never been out of the teams this was actually 20 end of 2011 20
	actually when we came back from Australia and I figured out the difference or the gap that we have with other countries and I thought if we don't change the way we are playing or I don't change the way I am playing or the way I am training or thinking or eating, I can never be among the best players in the world.
	There's no point in just competing if you don't want to be the best. So I wanted to be the best version of myself and then I based everything around that vision. And then my training, my diet, my approach towards the game, everything changed. And I know that I wasn't the most skilled.
	sports person when I came in but the only thing that's been constant is working hard on myself in my game. That was the time I realized well if the union team has to be the best team in the world we need to go ahead in a certain way. I didn't feel I didn't feel that you know when I walked into play there was any kind of fear or respect.
	in the opposition corner so I felt like I don't want to walk into the field thinking or the opposition thinking this is just the just the pushover don't worry about this guy he's gonna do no damage to us he's just playing just like a player in the team
	I wanted to make an impact. I knew that I have the ability to make my team win and I wanted to be that version of myself where if I walk in I wanted teams to think like we need to get this guy out or else we're going to lose the game. So I thought if I can't have that impact on my team then I'm not doing justice to...
	where I am and if I don't want to be that guy there's something wrong in my head. Either I've accepted being lower than what I should be or I just don't have enough drive in me so I said I'm going to unlock my max potential and achieve what I should be.
	So he really like, the amount of stress it brought onto him mentally was huge. So he had a stroke, he had a clot form in his brain and this happened around 2.30 or 3 in the morning and we all woke up and we had no idea what to do and he was gone by the time we woke up and I literally like...
	I literally saw him take his last breath in front of me. So he used to do online share trading and that was something that became quite a big thing back then.
	account suddenly crashed so one transaction went really bad and all the transactions that he'd done for that and whatever he had accumulated sort of went down in a go so he really like he the amount of stress it brought on to him mentally was huge so he had a stroke he had a clot
	form in his brain. I was coming back from practice and I reached the house and then my cousin's sister was there and I asked her where everyone is and she's like, she's gone for a regular check up. So I asked her where they are, she told me this place and I was like take me there. So we went there and then I saw him.
	in a situation that I had never seen before. Because there was a stroke in the brain, he wasn't able to react in the normal manner. So I saw him like that and then they took him to the operation theatre. It was a very difficult time because they did the operation, then he came back home, then he was in rehab, but I saw him.
	left side of his body got paralyzed, left side of his vision also got compromised and eventually after a couple of weeks of rehab he got a cardiac arrest. Actually I was playing a game and we were playing one of these 4 day games which used to happen at the first class level and I was supposed to continue to resume batting the next day and this happened.
	It happened around 2.30 or 3 in the morning and we all woke up and we had no idea what to do and he was gone by the time we woke up and I literally saw him take his last breath in front of me. And I tried to pop his chest and all that, nothing worked. And then there were a few doctors around in that area that we lived in, we went to their place.
	no one opened the door because it was 3 in the morning, we couldn't get any response then we drove him to the hospital, but by the time they tried electric shocks and everything all those kind of things, but nothing worked, he couldn't recover at all so my sister and my brother and my mother, they all broke down and funnily enough I couldn't cry at all
	There was no emotion coming out of me and I just became blank. I couldn't register what just happened. Then I called my coach in the morning and I asked him, or I told him what had happened and then he asked me what do you want to do? I said I want to go and play. For me leaving a cricket match was something which was not accepted. Regardless of what happened in life, not going to a match was not.
	an option I ever had or I could register that option in my mind. So I left the house, I hadn't cried at all, nothing, no emotion and my family was actually feeling a bit nervous looking at me because I was showing no emotion and everyone was like crying, they were emotional. And then I went to the game and I picked up a friend.
	of mind again and I told him what had happened. He thought I was joking, he didn't believe me. We kept going, we reached the stadium and when we reached the stadium I sat in the change room and he told everyone what had happened. So when everyone came around me to tell me we are sorry for you, that's the time I really broke down. That's the time all that emotion.
	came out and I don't know why. I was upset because I was the umpire in the game made a wrong decision and he gave me out when I wasn't out and I was upset because I couldn't be there till the end to make my team win the game and I was really upset about that. Now I feel like it was probably the most impactful thing.
	that happened in my life because I remember that day I came back from the game after I got out I came back to do the cremation and all the rituals that follow and I remember telling my brother specifically that I am going to play for my country.
	and I am going to play this game at the highest level and there's nothing else in life that can distract me because it was my father's vision as well, he wanted me to play at the highest level he was really really keen on playing at the highest level as well so I remember making that promise to my brother and then everything in life
	became second priority after that incident. Cricket was the first one.
	Look people don't realize this until you experience it right so you can experience success at a very different level you can experience Fame at a very different level Fame is one thing that I Can't sit here and say I love it because
	I've never been a guy who's I like my own time. I like to be left alone because I understand that I need to recharge myself Stay connected to myself to be able to be the best version of myself for people for my family For the game and if
	If I can't do that, then I'm not happy. And I think fame takes away a lot of, a big part of you in that regard. Because what that does is that, even if you walk past any area, anywhere, and there is someone or the other who's having an interaction with you. And it is constant.
	And you can't shut off people. Obviously people are being nice to you. They love what you do and you obviously have to respond and you have to connect with them. But over a period of time, you realize that you want some moments. So fame, success, money, all these things, they look great when you don't, when you don't quite have them.
	But to be honest, that is not the key to happiness. I mean, I could sit here and say that I have all the three. But there are moments where I'm just not happy. I mean, if 10 years ago, you would have told me, oh, you'd get all this, you'd be happy. That's not true. You still have to. I mean, today...
	as much as I have achieved in the game, the game does not stop. If I want to play I have to be as committed as I was before I got the success and while I was getting the success. So when you get to a certain point you can't just say okay that's it, now the game should finish it doesn't happen. And if you want to continue to be a part of the game, you are just a part of the game. You are just a part of the larger game.
	scheme of things. That's very important to understand. So you are not, you are not it basically. And that's something that me and Anushka both we discussed this so much and we are absolutely on the same page and I'm so grateful that I have someone like Anushka to be absolutely honest with me and tell me.
	things that I might not be doing right. And it's easy to drift away, very easy to drift away in the position or the situation that we are in. But to have honest conversations with each other is something that keeps us on the right track and the journey is very tough. It's not an easy journey to be in. I mean people on the outside they feel like...
	they have everything, it must be so easy. But it's not, because at the end of the day you realize we thought getting these things will sort things out but when you get there and you feel like this wasn't the answer, you get even more confused. You're like, so what are we actually doing? Where are we heading? And that's when you actually sit down and realize when you are...
	absolutely yourself in every moment that you're a part of whether you're with your family whether you're playing your sport doing anything that you do in life or being in the profession that you are the the fact that you can be yourself in that moment is all that matters for the rest of your life and you have to keep doing it day and day now we talked about doing the hard
	yards and doing the the the putting putting in the work that's that's how I look at life exactly the same every day you have to put in the work and being true to yourself is the work for life and no fame money success can get you rid of that because you have to keep it every day otherwise you're miserable
	It happened in 2012, played the IPL in 2012 and the lead up to that was interesting because I had scored my first test 100 in Australia in 2012 followed by that game against Sri Lanka and Hobart where we chased that total down within 40 overs. That came out of nowhere honestly, I did not believe that I could do that.
	something like that at the international stage. It happened, gave me so much belief from there. And then Asia Cup came and I got 183 against Pakistan. On a Sunday, everyone was watching. So things really just turned in about six months for me. But I forgot the basics of the game. I started becoming more desperate and I thought this...
	I'm gonna dominate everyone but you know the moment I feel started a few games which didn't go my way and my mindset completely dropped to the other end I was eating anything that came inside I was finishing candy packets 40 pieces a packet I would finish three packets a week I was eating horribly sleeping
	or if my habits were all over the place. And I finished IPL. I remember I went home, came out of the shower first day, and I saw myself in the mirror and I was ashamed. It was literally I saw myself and I thought, I'm looking at another human being and I told myself, if you want to play cricket at the highest level, this is not the way that you can play.
	From next day onwards, I changed everything about my diet, the way I trained, everything and from then on it was just an obsession. Look, when I step onto the field, I have to believe that I am the best. Because my mindset, as I said, was very clear from the first time I started playing this game. I am not going to allow anyone to...
	to think that I'm just a pushover. So my mindset was I'm gonna go to Australia and how am I gonna score runs against these guys. I wasn't going out there to survive and from the time I got back home till the Australia tour I promised you I was visualizing every day when I was working out at the gym that I'm hitting Richard Johnson. I'm hitting these guys all over the park.
	and those things came to life eventually because I convinced myself to an extent when I went there I was absolutely fearless and things just started to move. To be honest before that Australia tour I was treating every foreign tour like you know more like an engineering exam that I have to pass somehow and I have to show people that I can play at this level.
	But there I realised that once you're down and out, there was hardly anyone who came to help me. There was hardly anyone who was looking towards me and saying, listen, let's work together and try to get your game up to speed. Everyone was just going after me left, right and centre. So I was like, am I playing to prove these people wrong? For what? I've got nothing to do with it.
	with them and they literally have nothing to contribute in my life. So I went back home, I was down for quite a bit. The great thing that happened at that stage was I realized who's with me, who's not. Things were filtered to an extent that I just got so relaxed when I went back home. I was like, okay, I've hit rock bottom now. No one believes in me. Everyone thinks I should not be playing test cricket.
	So what can I do? I can just work as hard as I can. For me, one thing was always and always very clear. When I step onto the field, I'm going to give 120% every game that I play. And one thing for a fact that no one can count that against me. Till the time I play this game, I am going to play this way.
	This is who I am and if my mindset in the field is simple, I will not stand around wanting people to do something that I am not able to do first. For me every ball is an event. Every moment is an opportunity to make your team win and that is exactly why you step onto the field. You have to make that time come. If you told me I had to walk away from this game.
	tomorrow I can walk away without any regrets because everything that I've done since I entered the Indian cricket team has always been for the team. I've been booed by 40-50,000 people regularly when I enter the state. If I start focusing on those 50,000 I can't play a ball. For me that's an opportunity. That's an opportunity for me to say okay fine.
	things are stacked up against me, let me test myself how good I am. There always have been two options for me, either it's fight or flight and I've never taken flight. I've never taken flight. For me that's just not it because look I can take flight if I can't sleep peacefully at night. For me it's not worth it. I might as well take the fight. If I fail I know that I took the right option.
	And that gives me peace. For me, when I leave the field, as I just said, I need to be able to know that I've given everything I had and I sleep like a baby. There's nothing else that can distract me then because in my potential as a human being, God has blessed me with a healthy mind, healthy body, an opportunity which everyone wants.
	to be honest to that, I have to live up to that. So for me these things are just a process, just a part of the process which is you keep moving forward, you keep taking the positive option. Whether you get success or not, that's irrelevant but never take a back step. Face the fear, look it in the eye and say, fine.
	I'm gonna have a smile on my face and I'm gonna keep coming at you. That's how I live my life as well. I don't live my life half and half. I've never done something which I'm not 100% convinced about. So for me, as I said, if you wanted me to walk away now, I'd have zero regrets in life or in culture. But this culture is what is more dear to me. And I will do everything in my ability to do that.
	even if you lose a test match, I want us to go for the win and not surrender or try to save a test match on day 3 or day 4. That for me is just not acceptable. So for me, as I said, milestones don't matter at all. If I played for milestones in my career, I probably wouldn't have half of what I have right now.
	my mindset is pretty clear and for us it's just pursuit of excellence.
	When my back is against the wall, there's only one way for me and that's forward. And I will do everything in my power to fight my way up again. And you know your perspective in life changes every now and then. As I said, with fame, with money and with success, you know there are too many people who become close to you and you tend to sort of forget from the core of your heart who you really are.
	are but this is the guy I've always been and the beautiful thing about my journey from a young age group has been that I was part of an academy where no one was talking about that academy or that club so for me the only way up was if someone's getting 100 I have to get 200 otherwise no one's gonna notice and I had that fire inside me all the time and that's exactly what I did to come up the ranks
	scored so many runs that people could not ignore me because that was my only driving force and that actually came from the example that my father set for me. There was a time in my life where there was an opportunity I was selected for under 14 Delhi team and then I was dropped at 1am because of some complications and you know what happens in state levels, someone was preferred over me because of...
	some compensations that were done and stuff like that. So same was offered to my father as well, but if you can, maybe you can get into the team after two games. So my father straight away said, I'm not gonna pay a single penny to make him play. If he can play on his talent, so be it. If not, it's not meant to be for him. So that stuck with me for life and I've always and always relied on myself and what I can do as an individual first.
	and then I'll take help along the way and people who have been willing and open to help me and understand who I really am. When my back is against the wall, there's only one way for me and that's forward and I will do everything in my power to fight my way up again. So the whole journey, the kind of matches that have happened, the kind of knocks that have happened, the kind of moments that...
	happened that people have looked and said wow I want to do the same. It's literally me making an impact on other people through this game so that's when I realized this is my journey and and I need to do things in a very organic in a very very pure way because when you watch it on TV you can tell the difference between someone trying to fake it.
	or someone playing with heart and you obviously want to repeat the same. I saw that in my heroes. So I thought, look, this is this is exactly what I need to do. Like, it's not even a moment of doubt. The only way to deal with social media is I can relate that example to that 2014 tour and what happened after. It does not matter.
	at all what people have to say about stuff that you post, stuff that you do online. At the end of the day, you have to stay true to why you did what you did. Does that make you feel happy? Is that happening with pure involvement? Is that coming from an organic source?
	As long as that's the answer, you don't need to worry about what 5 people have to say about you in the comment section. Because I know for a fact people do get affected by this. People take it very very seriously. And for me that's just noise. At the end of the day, those are letters typed by someone in a comment section. Why should it bother anyone? Why give that much importance to a person?
	and you have no idea who that person is. Stay true to who you are as an individual, realize your own potential and what you can do with your life. Utilize social media for the right reasons. Don't let it control you. Have control over it to an extent where you know exactly what you need to do with it. And me and Anushka both follow the same thing.
	She says the same thing, don't let social media control you. You be in control of how much you want to look at it, what you want to do with it. If you've posted stuff, you don't need to bother about whether a thousand people abuse you online, whatever they have to say about you, that's just noise. And that's always been the case for me as an individual. I've been booed by 40-50 thousand people.
	regularly when I enter the stadium. If I start focusing on those 50,000, I can't play a ball. For me that's an opportunity. That's an opportunity for me to say, okay fine, things are stacked up against me, let me test myself how good I am. So I think the same thing can be applied in that regard as well. When you are expected to be strong and looked at as a strong individual, people forget to ask you.
	you how you do that. So it hit home for me you know it was like this is it because I've always been looked at as someone who is very confident very mentally strong and you know just can endure any situation any circumstance and
	find a way and show us the way. And sometimes what you realize is that at any given point of time in life as a human being, you really need to just take a couple of steps back and understand how you are doing, how your well-being is where it's placed. So there is no...
	There are not many places that, I wouldn't use the term greats, but people who have played for a long period of time and are looked at as strong individuals, there are not many places they can go and explain things in a way that the other person understands. Playing a sport means you are totally aware.
	in every moment, you're totally present with what's going on. It's not just, ah, hee hee and garah and hmmm. You have to be present, you have to do that thing with absolute commitment, with fine details. With that, that same intent can be applied anywhere in life. Because once you're involved in that moment, you will give your best output, whether it's for sport, whether it's...
	for work, anything. I would tell them don't make them just play sport, teach them. Because when I was growing up I had no idea about rules and regulations of majority of the sports around me. Now when we play cricket, you understand the way the situation of the game is going. So as a fielder when you are standing in the field, what distance should you be from the batter?