Non-SpongeBob Dialogue
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Officer O'Malley: Sir, you have the right to remain silent. | All night in the stony lonesome in a bunny outfit! Oh, yeah, the door's locked. Good thing I keep a spare key...under the mat. Grr! Oh, look at this place! This party was a complete disaster. |
Patrick: That was the greatest party any of us have ever been to! | It was? |
Patrick: Oh, without a doubt, you are the best party-thrower ever! | I am? |
Patrick: Yeah! Whatever you did, you should write it down and do it again next weekend. Thanks again, SpongeBob. See ya! | SquarePants, you've done it again. I guess I know how to throw a party after all. Gary! Well it looks like you had a good time. |
Gary: Meow. | Good night, Gary. |
Patchy: Oh ho ho, I'm glad to see that old SpongeBob's party worked out. Now I gotta get me own party going! Ready for some real music, Potty? Potty: Bawk! Okay, ready. Patchy: ♪Oh... scurvy ain't for the likes of me, yo ho, yo ho, yo ho, yo ho, yo ho, yo ho, yo ho, yo ho, yo ho... Oh! Yo ho, yo ho, yo ho, yo ho, yo ho, yo ho, yo ho, yo ho, yo ho, yo ho, yo ho, yo ho, yo ho, yo ho, yo ho.. Oh, scurvy ain't for the likes of..♪ Potty: Bawk! It's time for your flute solo. Patchy: Thank you, Potty, I almost forgot... Hey wait a minute. I don't play a flute. I play a fife. Potty, no! Wow, I can't believe I survived that one. Potty, help me! Potty: Ladies and Gentlemen, bawk! The Bird Brains! Bird Brains: ♪Come with me to the land I love, It's not right here, down the street, or up above. It's down below in the deep blue sea. Where SpongeBob lives, and the fun is always free. Down, down, down, to the bottom of the sea. Where our salty friend SpongeBob waits for you and me. Down, down, down, ahh, we'll have lots of fun. You and me forever in the underwater sun. We'll catch some jellyfish if we get a chance, Say hello to Patrick, and do a little dance, Karate chop Sandy, see Squid get a tan, Eat a Krabby Patty and foil Plankton's plan. Down, down, down, to the bottom of the sea. We'll hook up with SpongeBob and his snail Gary. Down, down, down, ahh, we'll have lots of fun You and me forever in the underwater sun, underwater sun.♪ Patchy: Aha! Great job, boys! Thanks for stopping by! Don't hit the porthole on the way out. And thank you for stopping by! You've made this party a real fun time. Potty: Bawk, the ladies are here! Patchy: Oh! Ladies! Shiver me timbers! Welcome, girlies! Huh! No! Potty: Goodbye, folks! Patchy: It's Potty you're after! Narrator: Thank you for coming to SpongeBob's House Party! Patchy: Belay the smooching. Belay the smooching! Squidward: Wow. Squidward, this is the best soufflé you have ever created. Congratulations, chef! SpongeBob Bubble: Hi, Patrick. Patrick Bubble: Hi, SpongeBob. | Patrick, you're my best friend in the whole neighborhood. |
Squidward Bubble: Patrick, you are the dumbest idiot it has ever been my misfortune to know. Patrick Bubble: Do you really think that, SpongeBob? | Of course, Patrick. Anyone with eyes can see that. |
Patrick Bubble: Yeah? Well, I think you're ugly. Yellow is ugly! | Patrick, what are you talking about? |
Squidward Bubble: SpongeBob, I no longer wish to know you. You give bottom dwellers a bad name. Squidward Bubble: If I had a dollar for every brain you don't have, I'd have one dollar! Squidward Bubble: Hey, Patrick, I heard there was a job opening down at the pet shop... as some newspaper! Patrick: Well, that makes you a big dummy, you dummy! | Yeah, well, that means that, uhh... so are you! |
Patrick: Right, you're a turkey! | What's that? |
Patrick: It's what you are! | Well, you're a bigger one! |
Patrick: Well, you're still yellow! And you know what else is yellow? | What? |
Patrick: You are! | Oh, yeah? Well, it doesn't matter what you call me, 'cause I never wanna see you again anyway! Aww, tartar sauce! |
Squidward: Patrick: Wow, Squidward, you're choking! Uhh... uhh, I know what to do, but I should wash my hands first. Oh, well. I win! Squidward: Wow! Patrick, you saved me! Patrick: I did? Squidward: Yup! You're a real lifesaver, friend! Patrick: Friend? Friend... Squidward: Yeah, Patrick, we're friends... just friends. Patrick: So what are we gonna do tonight, best friend? Squidward: Well, I was going to practice my clarinet solo. Patrick: Clarinet? I love music! | Ahh, who needs them? They're no fun anyway, right, Gary? Gary? |
Squidward: Squidward will be performing his version of Solitude in E minor. Patrick: Yeah! E minor! All right! Yeah! | Ah, what am I worried about? I got plenty of friends! I can name three right off the bat! Uhh... The gang's all here... Ohhh! |
Squidward: Ow! Oh! My back! I threw out my back! | Oh, boy, now's my chance! |
Squidward: SpongeBob? No, no, stay back! | Don't worry, Squidward! I'm coming! |
Squidward: No, no, no, get away from me! | Hang on! I'll save you! |
Squidward: No, no! Get away from me! No, no! | Hold on! |
Squidward: No, no! Get away! Oh! I'm ruined! I'm... I'm... I'm... I-I feel great! Thanks, SpongeBob! You're a real friend! | Friend... |
Squidward: N-no, no, no, I didn't mean that, no-no. | Don't worry, Squiddy, old pal. That's what friends are for. So dumb Patrick fell asleep on ya, huh? Some friend. A real friend would perform for you! |
Squidward: You play? | Are you kidding? I've been playing bassinet for years! Give me an A, buddy! Squidward is my best friend in the world. Squidward is my best friend in the sea... Squidward... |
Patrick: Likes Patrick more than SpongeBob. Oh! | And Patrick is a dirty, stinky, rotten friend stealer! Umm, I can fix this. |
Squidward: Grrrrrryehhhhherrrryeh! | ...So, uhh, I'll see you tomorrow, Squidward! Call me! |
Squidward: Yech! That was disgusting! I feel like I need to scrub myself. Patrick: Hey, buddy. I warmed it up for ya. Squidward: Patrick! Get out! And put some clothes on! | What's the matter, Squidward, old buddy? Oh, ho-ho! So this is what I find, huh?! My best friend and my ex-best friend and... ...rubber bath toys! |
Patrick: Oh, yeah?! Well, he was my friend first! | You're just a backbiting, backstabbing silly blob of... |
Squidward: This can't be happening to me! SpongeBob and Patrick: Squidward! | Buddy! |
Patrick: Squidward, where are you?! | Where'd ya go, friend? |
Patrick: Where are ya, ol' buddy? Squidward: Oh, this is nuts! I need a plan to get those two back together and outta my hair! | Squidward. A dinner party? I'd love to! Did you miss me? |
Squidward: Come on in! You look stunning. | I'd much rather dine with you than that lousy... Say, what gives?! I'm not sitting near that maniac! |
Patrick: Me neither! This was a setup! Squidward: I thought you two were my best friends. SpongeBob and Patrick: I am your best friend! Squidward: Well, how about some soda, guys? | Yes, please! Thanks, friend. |
Patrick: How about some for your best friend? | Thanks, best friend! |
Patrick: Can I have some now, buddy? | Wait, I need some more! |
Patrick: I still didn't get any! | There ya go. More please! |
Patrick: Squidward! | Squidward! |
Patrick: Hey, Squidward! | Squidward! |
Patrick: Squidward! Squidward! Squidward: Patrick! Your glass is full! Patrick: Oh, yeah... | Squidward! |
Patrick: Hey, Squidward! | Squidward! |
Patrick: Squidward! | Squidward! |
Patrick: Hey, Squidward! | Squidward! |
Patrick: Hey, Squidward! | Squidward! |
Patrick: Squidward! | Squidward! |
Patrick: Hey, Squidward! SpongeBob and Patrick: Squidward! Squidward: Sorry, boys, I'm all out of pop. I'm gonna go get some more. Why don't you just stay here and chat? I should just walk away right now. What a surprise... I invited them in, and I left them alone. Well, Squidward, what have we learned today? | Guess what, Squidward? |
Patrick: Me and SpongeBob are friends again! Squidward: Great, now go be friends somewhere else. | Don't you want us to help you clean this up a little? |
Squidward: No! Out! | Psst, I think he's jealous. |
Patrick: How pathetic. Squidward: Ohhhhh, my back. Sandy: All right, Science Scouts. One last check on supplies. We all need to be prepared for a campout on the moon. SpongeBob. | Six-pack of Fizz Bomb Cola. Bubble wand. Mesh tank top. And I'm waiting on a Krabby Patty delivery. |
Sandy: Well, that's not what I had in mind when I said supplies. How 'bout you, Pearl? Pearl: Oh. Pom-poms, megaphone, and spirit! Squidina: Uh. Do you always have to rub it in my face that you're a cheerleader? Pearl: Yes I do! Sandy: Scouts, I don't think you cotton to what we're doin'. We're going to the moon! SpongeBob, Pearl, & Squidina: Eww! Bubble Bass: Huh? Mm! Sandy: No, that moon. SpongeBob, Pearl, & Squidina: Ohh! Sandy: Squidina, what did you bring? Squidina: Eyeglasses, comic books, and action figures. Pearl: Ugh, can a person be any nerdier? | I can. |
Pearl: Ew! Sandy: Remember, Scouts, we're scientists. Let's behave like it. | Science! |
Sandy: Everyone on board for lift-off. Pearl: Ouch! Sandy: Let's go, Scout! | But I'm still waiting for my Krabby Patty delivery guy. |
Sandy: The moon is in perfect position for us to launch. We gotta leave now! Squidward: Hello? Delivery. Did someone order a Krabby Patty? Uhh. Yuck. Hokey hoo-ha for hicks. Ahh! I take it back! I could learn to like songs about tractors...maybe. Sandy: Uh, sorry about that. Just some backfire is all. | Safety first. Uh, why you! |
Sandy: Uhh, everything okay back there, SpongeBob? | Thanks! |
Sandy: Three, two, one, launch! Whoops! Lunch. Squidward: Eh, did I die? Am I a ghost? Sandy: Okay, Scouts, you're free to move about the cabin. | Ooh, whoa! I'm flying, I'm flying! Whoop! |
Sandy: This peanut plant's pulse is staying steady in zero G. Pearl: I've never been so light before. Sandy: Uhh, I gotta fix that. Squidina: Teenage Action Girl, rise to the rescue of Action Dog while Teenage Action Boy floats in the corner and mopes. I don't care. Oh, no! Help me! Hey! Watch it, you big orca! Pearl: You watch it, you big dorka! Squidward: There can only be one explanation. I've lost my mind! All those years working at the Krusty Krab and I finally snapped! Ohh, going crazy is actually a relief. All my stress is gone. All my stress is back! Sandy: Uh-oh, we've got space junk! Everybody, back in your seats. Trays in upright positions. Head between your knees. Your mama can't save you now! | Home run! |
Sandy: We've still get a few Astro Belts to get through. Brace yourselves for the cold belt! Sandy: Next up, we got a hot belt! | Patty melt. |
Sandy: Ow! Huh! We're going through the radiation belt! That could cause mutations! Everyone, get under your lead blankets! Pearl: Mutations?! I must protect my beautiful face! | Aww. |
Squidward: Oh, good Neptune! I'm going through puberty again! Sandy: Okay, Scouts, it's all safe now. Let's see where we are. Craters, craters— Oh! Giant eyeball? Now I'm as confused as a goat on Astroturf. SpongeBob! | Hey, there's a tiny little squirrel in here. How'd you get in there, you little fuzz ball? |
Sandy: I love the guy, but if his brains were dynamite, he couldn't blow his nose. Squidward: Huh? We've stopped. It's all over! I'm back home! Wait a minute. That's the Earth. And that down there is the moon? So, somehow the treedome flew here. Good Neptune, I'm falling! Wait, if I remember my high school science, on the moon, I'm much lighter than on Earth. Which means...ha! This fall won't hurt me. Squidward: Oh, shrimp. Now where am I? Maybe this is the way out. Maybe this one? Country squirrel: Are y'all ready to go nuts for some hokey hoo-ha? Squidward: Third time's a charm? Sandy: One small step for a squirrel... | Ooh! One giant leap for SpongeKind. |
Sandy: All right, Science Scouts, everyone's got an assignment. Pearl, you measure the moon's gravity. Pearl: Rah, rah, sis, moon, bahhh! Sandy: Squidina, you collect moon rocks. Squidina: Way ahead of you, Ms. Scout Ma'am Cheeks! Pearl: Grrr-avity! Sandy: SpongeBob, you can search for intelligent life. | Aye, aye! Hmm...mmm... |
Sandy: You do know how to recognize intelligent life, right? | Oh, sure. I cut open their heads to see if they have any brains. |
Sandy: If you find anything, just toot. Now to study the moon's gravitational effects on my nuts. Pearl: I'm number one! You're number two! I'm gonna beat the nerd out of you! Squidina: No one beats the nerd out of Squidina! Pearl: Whoa! Missed me! Squidina: Science! Yay! Squidward: Well, maybe being on the moon isn't so bad. After all, SpongeBob is over 238,000 miles away. Random citizen: Ow! Squidward: This moon is a no SpongeBob zone! Here, I'm the man on the moon! | Um, did someone say, Man on the Moon? Hello? Intelligent life? How about average smarts? I'd settle for common sense! Ooh! Intelligent footprints. Huh? Wha-hoo! I found it! I found it! |
Sandy: What'd you find, SpaceBob? | Intelligent life. |
Sandy: I'm not so sure about that. If they were intelligent, they would have eaten this Krabby Patty. | Ooh! Mmm, speaking of eating |
Sandy: You're right! It's lunch time. Would you mind fetching the lunch I prepared? | You bet! Just call me LunchBob. |
Sandy: Just press the button labeled lunch! Squidward: No SpongeBob, no SpongeBob, no SpongeBob, no SpongeBob, no SpongeBob, no SpongeBob, no Sp— Whoa! The dark side of the moon. SpongeBob? Are you in here? No SpongeBob. I have a strange feeling suddenly coming over me. Could it be...that I'm...happy? | Lunch, lunch, where's lunch? Oh, there it is. |
Computer: Preparing to launch. | No! No, not launch! Lunch! |
Pearl: Uh, wait, wait—what's going on? Squidina: How should I know? Sandy: You guys wait here! Phew! SpongeBob? SpongeBob! | Oh, uh, Sandy! Hey, girl. I was just gonna run back home. I forgot, uh...my reading glasses. |
Sandy: It's okay, SpongeBob. It's my fault for putting the launch and lunch button so close together. Oh, no! The moon's been pulled out of its regular orbit. That could have disastrous effects on the Earth's tides. Nat Peterson: Water's a little dry today. Sandy: And that last launch depleted our fuel. Santa: Ho-ho-ho. Sandy: That's weird. Squidina: I'm so sorry you're a cheerleader! Pearl: I'm sorry you're a nerd! Pearl & Squidina: That came out wrong! | Ooh, moon hugs! Make room for me. Come on, Sandy, bring it on in. |
Sandy: It's all right, Scouts. We just gotta figure out a way to get back to Earth. Pearl: But Sandy, we heard strange laughing coming from... in there. Santa: Ho-ho-ho. Pearl, Squidina, Sandy, & SpongeBob: Huh? | Squidward? You're the man on the moon? |
Squidward: SpongeBob?! Of course. Why not? Squidward: Ohh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Santa: SpongeBob? Ho-ho! I should've known you'd have something to do with this. | Santy Claus! Well, Santa, you know the saying, where SpongeBob goes... |
Santa: I know, trouble follows. | I was gonna say laughter follows. |
Sandy: Mr. Claus, what are you doing on the dark side? Santa: The dark side of the moon is the only place dark enough for me to get any sleep. I was sleeping like a baby—visions of sugar plums. Then this bad boy goes and bangs into my sleigh and wakes me up! Squidward: Well, I guess I'm getting nothing for Christmas...again. Santa: Holy night, SpongeBob! Did you shrink the Earth? | Good question, Mr. Claus. |
Sandy: We're actually further from the Earth now. We could have moved the moon back into its regular orbit if we hadn't run out of fuel. Squidina: A controlled explosion might move the moon back. Pearl: Ha, you're so smart. How do we do that? | Ooh! Fizz Bomb Cola! A burp explosion in every can. |
Sandy: Yee-haw! That's my Science Scouts! Sandy: No go, the moon's too heavy. Santa: I think some children might be needing some brains for Christmas. Squidina: Perfection! | Now we just wait for a gust of wind. |
Sandy: Uh, interesting science fact: there's no atmosphere on the moon, therefore there's no wind. | Why don't we just push the moon back? |
Santa: You all should be a sea monster because you're Kraken me up! Get it? Kraken? Sandy: Santa Claus, you can do more than just say, Ho-ho-ho! at us! You can dig into that toy sack of yours and find something to help! Santa: But I'm having such a jolly, holly time! You're right. I'm being naughty, not nice. Santa: Everyone nestled all snug? Sandy: We're all snug, Santa. But why is SpongeBob with you? | Yeah, why am I riding with you? Not that it isn't a pleasure. |
Santa: I want you close to me so I can keep an eye on you. You're a menace! First, I'll push Sandy's rocket ship out of harm's way. SpongeBob, hand me that jack-in-the-box. | Jack-in-the-box. Oh, oh! Let me try! |
Santa: Be careful! Don't overwind it! | But it's gotta be strong enough to move the moon. |
Santa: You broke it, and it was my last one. | Hmm. Oh, wait. I think I can hear the last note struggling to get out. Come on, Jack, you can do it. I believe in you! |
Santa: Ho-ho-ho-ho! | What happened? Oh. Okay, sorry. It was my bad. |
Frankie Billy: Oh, excuse me. Sorry. Santa: Oh-oh-oh. | Oh-oh-oh? |
Santa: Ho-ho-ho backwards. | Santa, do you have any water shooters in your bag? |
Santa: Yes, the whole sack is full of 'em. | All right, Santa, squirt me. |
Santa: Oh, I get it. | Whoo! Keep 'em coming, Santa! |
Sandy: Using the leftover Fizz Bomb Cola made an excellent rocket fuel, Science Scout Squidina. Squidina: Yep, the rocket burped us back. Pearl: Wow! Would you mind teaching me some nerdy science stuff? Squidina: Sure, if you'll teach me some airhead cheerleader stuff. Sandy: Why don't you join the Science Scouts, Squidward? Squidward: No, thanks! Science is crazy and filled with lunatics! Sandy: Speaking of luna, I wonder how old SpongeBob is doing. | Good night, Earth! Hey, I'm mooning you. Hello, lady. You sure look lovely by moonlight. |
Lady: Aww! | Hey, mister! I can see your bald spot. |
Man #1: Hey! | Don't be alarmed, people. I'm only here 'til December, when Santa brings everybody a new moon for Christmas. |
Man #2: Come on! | Oh, sorry. Just gave away the big surprise, didn't I? Oh, well. Merry early Christmas! |
Santa: Ho-ho-ho! You're a menace! Narrator: It's time for another SpongeBob SquarePants special! But it's not an ordinary special, because today we go to Encino, California, as it was… …one hundred million years ago! So prepare yourself for… SpongeBob SquarePants B.C.! With your host, Patchy the Pirate! Patchy: Yee-ha! Hey kids! Now, you're probably wondering, Hmm, what's Patchy doing in a cave? good question, you little... Well, it's because today's SpongeBob takes place in prehistoric times ...back when man struggled for survival and dinosaurs ruled the Earth. Isn't that right, Bronty? But I'm riding YOU now! Like I was saying, prehistoric times were the greatest. It was a simpler time with simpler pleasures! Your clothes always match! You can draw on the walls! And nobody yell at ya! It was much easier to hit a baseball! Oh yeah, prehistoric times were the best. Hey kids! Are those pterodactyl wings I hear 'a flappin'? I think I know who that is! Please welcome the Potty-dactyl! Potty: Sorry I'm late. Patchy: Potty! Why aren't you wearing your costume? I stayed up all night making it! Potty: You're wasting your time, old man. Prehistoric stuff is lame. Everybody knows the future's where it's at. Patchy: What?! That's not true! Don't mind him, folks. Why even SpongeBob SquarePants knows that prehistoric stuff is, what the kids say, cool. Potty: No he doesn't. Patchy: Yes he does. Potty: Nope. Patchy: He most certainly does. Potty: No he doesn't. Patchy: Yes he does! Potty: No. Patchy: I know for a fact that he does! Potty: ...not. Narrator: Meanwhile. Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob! What's wrong? | I don't know, Mr. Krabs, but I've got this strangest feeling that somewhere a pirate and parrot are arguing about me. And the parrot is winning. |
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