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"It must be sad that you're just not cool enough to go to Europe with us." A saw was going off in my head. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.343515 | 6.6 |
"Is Greg going to be here alone? I hope he doesn't get bored." | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.343822 | 6.6 |
"What's that supposed to mean? Whatever, he's meeting me in Paris." Sarah rolled her eyes, as if I were stupid for even mentioning him. She was going through a large box that had been delivered. She jumped up and down and, with one useful arm, carted it to Greg's office. I didn't ask. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.344129 | 6.6 |
At least she'd be in Europe with a broken arm. A broken yet still nearly perfect arm in a chic sling. She'd walked around the final New York Fashion Week shows as if she were in a Helmut Newton spread. Her slings (she'd rotated a few different ones) were made from black leather, fur, and even Swarovski crystals. By the end of the week, copies of them had started to appear. I even spotted Mulberry all slung up. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.344436 | 6.6 |
"Oh, bee-tee-dubs, I assigned Cassie a story. So she could get a byline," she said later as she left the office. She grinned at me. She had done it to fuck with me, I knew it. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.344743 | 6.6 |
"You did? Oh, great!" Kill them with kindness and enthusiasm if you can't kill them at all. And killing Sarah was not part of my plans. A dead Sarah couldn't give me what I needed most: her. I didn't bother asking what she'd assigned. Knowing Sarah, it was something like, "Oh, write a story on clothes." | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.34505 | 6.6 |
I was determined to leave the office and watch more SVU. I had missed the team, and I was sure they missed me. That lovable Detective Munch. Ice-T. Benson and Stabler's solid asexual partnership. I wish Sarah and I had that relationship. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.345357 | 6.6 |
Once the Fabulous Four (their words) decamped, I took pleasure in knowing Sarah had no real friends with her. Jack stayed in New York, and Lisa was dead and buried. Her funeral hadn't gotten the red carpet treatment Mulberry's did. Lisa was self-made, trying to become someone. Sort of like me. You'd think we could have bonded over that. What happened to sister solidarity? (I wondered if the police had any leads. I made a note to call Detective Hopper.) Now Sarah had only Dalia and Evie. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.345664 | 6.6 |
The office was downright pleasant with everyone gone. Even Greg stayed on his side of the floor, sulking for lack of attention. Cassie would go visit him, which made me gag on my lunch. I was working weeks ahead, our calendar filled with stories. I got so much done. I opened my mail and Sarah's mail and filed for her. I emailed Sarah anything important that came. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.345971 | 6.6 |
_Thanks, babe_ , she replied. _Also, why do you keep calling me Meredith?_ | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.346278 | 6.6 |
Cassie was, sadly, the only distraction I had. Zhazha was in Europe; a few brands had paid for her airfare and hotels. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.346585 | 6.6 |
She began sauntering in later and later, much like Sarah. She wore similar outfits to Sarah's (as seen on Instagram). Cassie even started wearing lip gloss like Sarah and responding to me in acronyms and abbreviations. She had highlighted her hair so it was a touch blonder. She was like a Sarah doll come to life, only not as perfect as the real thing. Cassie didn't have the bone structure to be Sarah. She was the fake sugar version, SarahLite. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.346892 | 6.6 |
And she was outdoing me in her devotion. I hated her and myself at the same time. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.347199 | 6.6 |
"Did you file your story yet?" I asked the Monday after everyone had left. Sarah and the team had been gone four days. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.347506 | 6.6 |
"O-M-G, totes forgot! I'll get to it. But first I need to walk Frou-Frou." Frou-Frou was Sarah's albino Pomeranian. Dogs had been a key accessory at Fashion Week, so Sarah had run out to buy one—just in time for her to fly to Europe without it. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.347813 | 6.6 |
Every day brought a new mini-Sarah into the office. Soon Cassie's clothes seemed to come straight from Sarah's closet. And maybe they had. She did have a key to her apartment. I had to tell on her. Sarah had to know. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.34812 | 6.6 |
_Um, did you know Cassie's raiding your closet?_ I emailed. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.348427 | 6.6 |
That was it? No outrage? Had Sarah been won over by the social-climbing intern? I sat completely befuddled. Was Cassie better than me? No, that couldn't be. I was her boss. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.349041 | 6.6 |
Cassie finally turned her story in—one week later—and it was awful. No, worse than awful. It wasn't real. I picked up a pen and debated stabbing my leg with it. Wait, ink poisoning was a real danger. Instead, I decided to cull Cassie from our ragtag herd as soon as possible. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.349655 | 6.6 |
"What I Wore to My First Fashion Week" was the easiest type of bullshit piece anyone could write. I could whip it up in two seconds. Hell, Diana could have written it in our comments, and it would have been hilarious! (I should have hired her as a writer. Hindsight.) A quick intro, some photos, a few comments on each image, and some vague bullshit about what you learned. It wasn't rocket science. I had expected spelling errors, copy mistakes. I was even ready for poorly lit photos. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.349962 | 6.6 |
What I wasn't prepared for was Cassie submitting the exact same story that Lisa's site, Cartel, had run—literally the _exact_ story with the byline swapped out for her own. (The site had continued on even without its illustrious leader. Ad dollars were all that mattered.) | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.350269 | 6.6 |
The photos weren't even of Cassie; they were of the original writer—who was a guy. You had to commend her balls—and marvel at her stupidity. _Deep breaths, Anya. Deep breaths_. Frantically, I mouthed WWMKAAD (What would Mary-Kate and Ashley do?) to myself over and over until the rage subsided a bit. Then I called Cassie over. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.350576 | 6.6 |
"Um, Cassie, I'm not sure I like the post you wrote." | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.350883 | 6.6 |
"Why not? I thought it was great." She pouted, dropping her chin. Sarah's chin dip. Did the girl have an original bone in her body? She was so obvious, it stunned me that Sarah, _my_ Sarah, would fall for her tricks. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.35119 | 6.6 |
"Oh, did she? When it ran on _Cartel_? Because you didn't actually write this, did you?" | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.351497 | 6.6 |
"Yes I did. See? There's my name!" She pointed to her byline, grinning. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.351804 | 6.6 |
"Changing the byline doesn't make it yours. You do know that, right? This is full-on plagiarism. Explain to me why I shouldn't fire you." | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.352111 | 6.6 |
"Save it. If you want to succeed here or anywhere else, you need to put in some effort. This is a very small industry. If people find out you steal anything, you will be _so_ ruined. Understand?" | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.352724 | 6.6 |
"Except it's too late to get a new intern, so even if you say something, you'll be down a body." She smiled triumphantly. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.353031 | 6.6 |
A body. No, there were always bodies. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.353338 | 6.6 |
I tried a different tactic. "This will make Sarah look bad." | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.353645 | 6.6 |
"No, it won't." She sounded unsure. She straightened her spine. "Besides, Sarah loves me. She's going to give me a recommendation." | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.353952 | 6.6 |
"As what? Her dog walker?" | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.354259 | 6.6 |
Cassie blanched. She nervously tugged at her highlighted hair. "Whatever, Anya. Sarah wants this to run. And she's your _boss_. But you should hear all the things she says about you when you're not around. It's hilarious." She giggled. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.354566 | 6.6 |
Sarah was confiding in Cassie. She was talking shit (the fashion way!) about me—to the intern. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.354873 | 6.6 |
I've always wondered what a nuclear blast would feel like. Sound like. Would the roar block out everything, be so loud that you heard nothing but silence? That was the sound in my head. So much buzzing and screaming, I heard nothing. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.35518 | 6.6 |
"Go to the fashion closet and see what they need you to do. Now." I sounded out each word slowly. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.355487 | 6.6 |
Sarah emailed to check in. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.355794 | 6.6 |
_Things are good. Except Cassie was carrying a fake bag_. I lied. But there was no point in telling her about the plagiarized story. Sarah wouldn't care. I added, _She's always with Greg. What's that about?_ | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.356101 | 6.6 |
_SHUT UP! Fire her!_ She replied. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.356408 | 6.6 |
By week three, I found myself at the dessert station in the cafeteria, staring at the cakes: cheesecake, coffeecake, chocolate cake. I wanted them all. I took the cheesecake. Cassie was driving me to stress eat. All that hard work losing weight was going to be wasted because that moron couldn't do her work. I spooned the creamy cake in my mouth, the blissful richness taking over. This was better than sex. Fuck orgasms, I just needed more cake. Maybe it was time to move on from the fashion chapter of my life and just fill up on daily desserts. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.357022 | 6.6 |
No. I threw my fork down. I caught a few stares as it clattered on the plate. I spat out whatever was left in my mouth. I would not let Cassie do this to me. I would not get fat because of her. She would not derail me. I had my goals. I had my plans. I was going to stay thin. I had to, or I'd be out of a job. I was going to be Sarah Taft's BFF if it killed me. Life was going to be really fucking awesome, Goddammit. I was one of them. I had to act like it. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.357329 | 6.6 |
I went back upstairs, disgusted with myself. I needed to see Dr. M. He'd know just what to say. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.357636 | 6.6 |
"Anya, you just need to be firm with your intern." | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.357943 | 6.6 |
"I know, Dr. M. But she only listens to Sarah." | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.35825 | 6.6 |
"Did you ever think that this might be Sarah's way of testing you? To see if you have what it takes to get ahead?" | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.358557 | 6.6 |
Was she testing me? Was I failing? | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.358864 | 6.6 |
He sighed. It was my cue to calm the fuck down. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.359171 | 6.6 |
"Why is this Cassie girl getting you so upset? What's really the issue?" | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.359478 | 6.6 |
"The issue? She's a fake!" I spit as I said it. Okay, fine, I was worked up. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.359785 | 6.6 |
"Anya, are you really the one who should call others fake? Your background isn't exactly bulletproof." | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.360092 | 6.6 |
"Cassie and I are not the same! How dare you? I'm trying to improve—" | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.360399 | 6.6 |
"By being like Sarah. And like Cassie." | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.360706 | 6.6 |
Have you ever wanted to shove your Stella McCartney mesh heels into your shrink's mouth to make him stop talking? I couldn't believe he was saying such hurtful things. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.361013 | 6.6 |
"We're not the same. I help Sarah. Cassie is using her. There's a difference." It was like talking to a brick wall. We weren't the same. We weren't. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.36132 | 6.6 |
He sighed. "You know none of this is good for you." | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.361627 | 6.6 |
"I know, Dr. M. That's why I need to fix it." | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.361934 | 6.6 |
"Why don't you set up to-do lists for the girl and see if that helps." I did as instructed. I always did. I typed out Cassie's to-do list every morning for four days. They weren't too in depth—I didn't want to overwhelm the girl. But every day, she all but ignored them. Frustrated, I tore the paper to shreds at six PM daily. I could feel the fury building. The only way to calm myself was to suck on the strips of list strewn about my cubicle, chewing them like gum. Chew away the unperformed tasks, _chew chew chew_. And then swallow. Dr. M called this internalizing. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.362241 | 6.6 |
With every strip swallowed, I felt the burden lift. It was like taking Holy Communion. I hadn't shit in four days from my paper-eating habit. I was going to have to put an end to this. Cassie was bad for my health. At this point, it was her or me. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.362548 | 6.6 |
In NYC, the fashion party circuit had quieted down as everyone waited for the European shows to end. But there were still a few events here and there: bourbon and barbecue at a menswear store; a beauty launch at the Ritz Spa. I saw Jack at both. He hugged me like we were old friends. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.362855 | 6.6 |
"Girl, I love running into you!" | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.363162 | 6.6 |
"Sames! Isn't it so great to have some chill time with everyone gone?" | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.363469 | 6.6 |
" _Yes_. And now I get to hang out with my new friend!" He smiled. Did he have a new Lisa? | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.363776 | 6.6 |
"Oh? Who's that?" | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.364083 | 6.6 |
"Um, you?" Jack laughed as he said it. Did he mean it? He looped his arm through mine and spent the rest of each event whispering in my ear. "Have you seen the cameras Sarah put up?" | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.36439 | 6.6 |
"The cameras?" Sarah had cameras? Was she spying on me? Was everyone watching me? My heart jumped into my throat. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.364697 | 6.6 |
"O-M-G, yes! She hid them in Greg's office while she's away. Isn't that hilarious? She has a guy who makes them or something." He guffawed, wiping a tear from his eye as he laughed. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.365004 | 6.6 |
I didn't ask why he was telling me this. Why he tattled on Sarah. That's what Jack did. He gossiped, he traded on it. Tell him something and he'd give you juicy details back. But there were two things I learned. One: Sarah was craftier than I thought. And two: I didn't trust Jack. Not one bit. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.365311 | 6.6 |
"I mean, can you believe how much weight I've gained? I was such a pig in Paris!" Sarah laughed, poking her jutting hip bones. "Look, it must be at least two pounds! So much _vin rouge_ and croissants!" She beamed, waiting for the obligatory compliment. It was early October, and the team had flown back the day before. (They had spent an extra weekend soaking in the sights and shopping.) | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.365925 | 6.6 |
"I'm sure Celia and Evie can help you drop the weight," I suggested helpfully. I could hear her teeth gnashing. She had yet to hug me. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.366232 | 6.6 |
"Well, what did I miss here? How's the good old fort?" | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.366539 | 6.6 |
"Oh, you know, the usual. Oh, before I forget, here are your keys." | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.366846 | 6.6 |
"My keys? Why do you have them?" | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.367153 | 6.6 |
"Cassie got sick"—after I'd dropped some ipecac into her green juice—"and couldn't walk Frou-Frou." | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.36746 | 6.6 |
"And you did? How sweet of you!" She practically cackled, likely imagining me doing the menial task of walking her dog. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.367767 | 6.6 |
But walking Frou-Frou had been my idea. I'd wanted to go to Sarah's apartment, alone. Smell her clothes, steal hair from her brush, make copies of her keys. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.368074 | 6.6 |
"Have you seen Greg?" she asked. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.368381 | 6.6 |
I shook my head. "No, but he was with Cassie earlier." Her face went a gorgeous shade of red. "But tell me more about Europe! What happened? How was Celia? Did you see Zhazha?" | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.368688 | 6.6 |
"That commie is a style whore. I don't know what everyone sees in her." | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.368995 | 6.6 |
"Well, she's thin, rich, European, and was born to wear fur." She shot me an eyeful of daggers. "What's not to love about her? I adore her accent, don't you?" | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.369302 | 6.6 |
"She's rude, crude, and nothing but a Russian hooker." | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.369609 | 6.6 |
"Jealous much?" I taunted. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.369916 | 6.6 |
"Of that? Never. You can find chicer girls in Brighton Beach." | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.370223 | 6.6 |
"As if you even know where Brighton Beach is." | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.37053 | 6.6 |
"Whatever, I've heard of it. But I barely saw her." | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.370837 | 6.6 |
"Weird because she was all over the street-style blogs." | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.371144 | 6.6 |
"Ugh, who would shoot her?" Sarah rolled her eyes. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.37145 | 6.6 |
"We would." I pulled up twenty photos we'd just run, a slideshow of Zhazha's outfits. "Our audience loves her. The comments are insane. She and I are having dinner together next week." Before Sarah could finish pouting, I fished out my present for her. "Before I forget, this came for you. I think from Greg? There wasn't a card." I handed her a teddy bear, my eyes wide, waiting for her reaction. She was either going to love it or hate it. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.371757 | 6.6 |
"O-M-G, Anya! Why'd you wait so long?" She hugged it, burying her face into the stomach. I turned my face away, trying to contain myself. "It smells kind of funny." | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.372064 | 6.6 |
"Oh, probably the packaging. You should spritz it with something. Some Santal 33?" | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.372371 | 6.6 |
"Totes. I'm going to go say thank you!" Off she ran, still hugging the bear. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.372678 | 6.6 |
At one of my special schools, there was this girl, Susanna Jennings. She was paranoid and delusional—and a total legend. If you think it's easy to make a name for yourself in a school for troubled kids, you're nuts. She thought everyone was out to get her and retaliated in what I felt was an entirely appropriate manner. You know, look at her funny, she'd poke your eye out. That sort of thing. Once, she thought her roommate was messing with her things. Moving her toiletries, her photo frames, cutting up her mattress. To get even with her, Susanna cut open her roomie's teddy bear. After shitting into the bear, she sewed it back up using a bobby pin and dental floss. For weeks, no one could figure out where the stench was coming from—until the sewing job unraveled. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.372985 | 6.6 |
Frou-Frou pooped a lot for a small dog. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.373292 | 6.6 |
Sarah left early, her bear in her bag. She was going to meet Jack, who she hadn't seen in "like forever." They didn't invite me. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.373599 | 6.6 |
"That's cool. I'm having drinks with Z," I lied. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.373906 | 6.6 |
"Z? You can't mean Zhazha?" | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.374213 | 6.6 |
"Of course, who else?" I shrugged. See, Sarah? Two could play this game. "Oh, tell Jack he owes me drinks!" | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.37452 | 6.6 |
He didn't. But I wanted her to see I was moving up in the world. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.374827 | 6.6 |
Sarah was furiously texting again. All day long, I heard the clack-clack of her nails. I tried to act cool, but I had to know if it was about me. I couldn't wait until the end of the day. I read her texts in the bathroom. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.375441 | 6.6 |
Sarah: _OMG, last night was banz_. (Her new way of saying bananas.) | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.375748 | 6.6 |