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What would avocado toast vomit look like? I was going to find out soon. Hanging with everyone, together, would never work. Friends colliding. All those mean things I'd said about Sarah to get Zhazha to like me. Fuck. This could only backfire. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.440829 | 6.6 |
"Just imagine the fireworks!" He slapped the table. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.441136 | 6.6 |
"Maybe. Listen, I need to get back to the office—" | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.441443 | 6.6 |
"Okay, I got this brekkie. Next one is on you." | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.44175 | 6.6 |
I nodded. _Smile, Anya. Smile at him_. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.442057 | 6.6 |
"This was fun," I managed to say. Then I ran out, hoping to get a cab. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.442364 | 6.6 |
Avocado toast vomit is green, in case you were still wondering. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.442671 | 6.6 |
Sarah gave me the silent treatment at the office. Had Jack told her what I said? Probably. But when I checked their texts, he had only compliments: _Anya is way more fun than you give her credit for. Can we all hang? Oh, PS, have you looked at your spy cams?_ | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.443285 | 6.6 |
It wasn't what he did or didn't say that upset Sarah so much; I think it was the photo of me he posted and the caption _Anya St. Clair is so damn chic. Channel the Olsens, boo_. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.443592 | 6.6 |
I grinned. I couldn't help it. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.443899 | 6.6 |
Sarah must have noticed. "Jack is a slut with compliments. It doesn't mean he likes you." | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.444206 | 6.6 |
"I know, Sarah. But at least I don't look too ugly, right?" Silence. She hated me today. But if her friend was my friend, then we were totally friends. BFFs, almost. Just like I wanted. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.444513 | 6.6 |
My phone buzzed. _Hey, girrrrl. Loved hanging. Let's do it again. Don't kill anyone_. Was he joking? My stress level hit a ten. That's when Dr. M said it was overload time. Did Jack really think I was the killer? Could I not trust him? | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.44482 | 6.6 |
I texted back, _LOL xx_. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.445127 | 6.6 |
Sarah remained distant with me for the next couple days. I pored through her Instagram for any details. She had gone as a geisha for Halloween, hugging Jack's Adam Rippon. I alternated between being horribly depressed and full of glee over how jealous she was that Jack liked me. But really, I wanted to hug her and tell her she was my one and only. Her hug the other day had left me wanting more. Jack continued to text us both separately. I wasn't in the trinity yet. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.445434 | 6.6 |
Since Cassie had all but disappeared, we had to hire a new intern. A pile of résumés were on my desk. I skimmed through, putting the best ones on top for Sarah to review. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.445741 | 6.6 |
"Ugh, no, not this one." She held up the offending paper as if it were a dirty diaper. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.446048 | 6.6 |
"She's perfect. Why not?" She was, too. A Parsons student who knew design and had interned already at several fashion houses. She even had her own blog. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.446355 | 6.6 |
"Her name! What is that? Like, what language? Does she even speak English?" | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.446662 | 6.6 |
I stared open mouthed. The candidate's name was Maria. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.446969 | 6.6 |
But Sarah, and by extension _La Vie_ , preferred their girls to be pale. It was the fashion way. If you had melanin and were hired, you were the token girl, shown off for diversity. But there was a hierarchy. And Celia would never let you forget it. She much preferred to hire blondes from "good families." But you could get around that, if you really wanted to. I had a strike against me for not being blonde and, okay, another for not having the right background, not that Celia would know. But the family part was the easiest to fake. Photoshop some pics so it looked like you were a WASPy dream come true. Pearls and teacups and ham in the background. A "good family" coming right up. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.447276 | 6.6 |
Sarah shrugged. " _La Vie_ women need to uphold certain standards." Rich, white, thin standards. "And we used up our diversity card with—" | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.447583 | 6.6 |
"Don't say it." | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.447889 | 6.6 |
"—you." She smiled triumphantly. "Because you're, like, the crazy one. All that muttering to yourself you do. And your clumsiness has got to be a disability. And you have that ugly scar on your arm. So between you and Dalia, we're the most diverse staff anywhere." No mention of my background. I prayed she'd forgotten. Manifesting really did work. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.448196 | 6.6 |
"And there's all that weird info on you." | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.448503 | 6.6 |
My heart thundered. Fuck. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.44881 | 6.6 |
"Yeah, that Lisa was gathering. With that guy she hired. She had a whole file on you. You, like, appeared out of thin air. She even said your name wasn't real." I can usually read Sarah's face like a gossip blog, but her smile didn't tell me anything. Did she think Lisa had been crazy obsessed? Or did she believe her? | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.449424 | 6.6 |
"Ha, hilarious. It only feels that way because I was a big nobody before I got to _La Vie_." Shrug, smile, easy breezy. "I still don't get Lisa's big obsession with me." | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.449731 | 6.6 |
"With you? She was obsessed with me. And anyone near me. That's how it works. Oh, and you still are a big nobody." She laughed at her own joke. "But did you know Lisa was looking for your birth certificate? She was convinced you were a fraud." A pause. "Are you, Anya? Or whatever your name is?" I could confess it all to her now. _Hail Sarah, full of grace, forgive me my sins_. But I didn't. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.450038 | 6.6 |
"Of course not. Do you need a copy of my paperwork to feel at ease? You sound so paranoid." | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.450345 | 6.6 |
"Whatever, I asked Greg to run a background check on you all the same." | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.450652 | 6.6 |
I clenched my jaw. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.450959 | 6.6 |
"He should have done it years ago. We'll know soon enough! I can't look at any more résumés. Let's just get Jack in here and let him handle finding an intern." | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.451266 | 6.6 |
I put my head on my desk. What if Sarah did try to make Jack work for us? He said he didn't want to, but would he say no to Sarah? (As if.) He was too observant. He'd find out the truth if he were here in our office. I closed my eyes, willing myself to have some great epiphany, a moment of genius that would fix things. Distract everyone. It hit me while Sarah clack-clacked on her phone. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.451573 | 6.6 |
I ran to Celia's office and knocked. I couldn't wait to share this idea. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.452187 | 6.6 |
"What is it, Anya?" | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.452494 | 6.6 |
"Let's hire Zhazha. Or, rather, get her to write for us. A contributing editor. She has such a huge audience, and we need someone with her street-style cred." I bit my lip waiting for an answer. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.452801 | 6.6 |
"Huh." She tilted her head. "That's actually a good idea, Anya. Do you think she'd do it?" | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.453108 | 6.6 |
"Oh, totally. She mentioned it when we had drinks last. I can set up a meeting for you." | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.453415 | 6.6 |
"Do that. Check with Bronwen on my availability." | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.453722 | 6.6 |
"Will do. Thanks, Celia." | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.454029 | 6.6 |
Bronwen was under her desk. She said something about hiding from ghosts. Her crown was made with sage. Maybe she was seeing Mulberry too. She said she'd email me times Celia was free. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.454336 | 6.6 |
I crossed my fingers that Zhazha was into my idea. I had lied. We'd never discussed her coming on board. We were supposed to have drinks, but shit got in the way. I had Cassie to deal with; she had to Instagram her life. But if I had to choose between her and Jack, I'd pick her. There was no way Celia was hiring both of them. That would take the pressure off me a bit. I wouldn't be watched all day, every day. Unless I already was being watched. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.454643 | 6.6 |
I left early to check my apartment for bugs and spy cams. You can never be too careful. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.45495 | 6.6 |
"What is _she_ doing here?" Sarah spat as Zhazha catwalked into the room. She was meeting us for drinks at Balthazar and was doing her best fashion walk and pose. Walk, pose, look around nonchalantly. Zhazha had it down. Jack had the brilliant idea of uniting the two over vodka shots. I was on pins and needles and Xanax. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.455564 | 6.6 |
"We invited her, dummy!" Jack stood and waved. "Over here!" | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.455871 | 6.6 |
"What? Anya, is this your doing?" | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.456178 | 6.6 |
I shook my head weakly. "Jack thought you two should get to know each other." | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.456485 | 6.6 |
"I'm leaving." Sarah stood up in a huff. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.456792 | 6.6 |
"Stop being such a drama queen and sit your ass down," Jack said. And shockingly, Sarah did as Jack ordered. She listened to him. How did he do that? "Z! Darling! So glad you made it. You look _amazing_!" | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.457099 | 6.6 |
Zhazha permitted a kiss on both cheeks before sitting in the empty seat next to me. "Anya, so good to see you again, my friend." _My friend_. It sent delicious chills down my spine. Her accent only made it more tantalizing. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.457406 | 6.6 |
"Zhazha, so good to see you." I felt stupid as the words stumbled out of my mouth. She looked like a princess. She even had a tiara on. Sarah glared more. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.457713 | 6.6 |
Drinks progressed at a glacial pace. The conversation mainly consisted of Jack fawning over Zhazha, me smiling like a moron, and Sarah adding mean snippets here and there. Our favorite blogger added in fun bons mots that made Jack erupt in laugher. It was delightful. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.45802 | 6.6 |
"You are a treasure," he said. "Isn't she, Sarah?" | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.458327 | 6.6 |
"Whatever." Sarah crossed her arms. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.458634 | 6.6 |
"Ugh, just hash it out, you two. Zhazha, were you the one who pushed Sarah during Fashion Week?" His face was serious for a moment. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.458941 | 6.6 |
"No. I would never." | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.459248 | 6.6 |
"See, Sarah? It wasn't her. Now let's move on." | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.459555 | 6.6 |
Zhazha reached out suddenly, grabbing Sarah's hand. "I would not hurt anyone. And I want us to be friends, Sarah. Especially now." | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.459862 | 6.6 |
"Now? Why now?" Sarah demanded as Zhazha and I exchanged looks. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.460169 | 6.6 |
"She doesn't know?" | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.460476 | 6.6 |
I shrugged. "She does now. Um, Sarah, Zhazha's going to come work with us. As a contributing editor. She's your new coworker." Sarah's and Jack's faces made me want to giggle. "Ta-da!" I added. I held my hands up like a magician's assistant. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.460783 | 6.6 |
"You bitch," Sarah spat at me. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.46109 | 6.6 |
"Oh, well played, Anya," Jack added admiringly, holding his vodka up to salute me. "Guess you won't need me there after all!" He wasn't mad? "Cheers, Zhazha. Congrats, girl!" Everyone but Sarah downed their vodkas. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.461397 | 6.6 |
"Does Celia know? Greg?" she demanded. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.461704 | 6.6 |
"Who do you think approved it? Now you guys are going to have to work together, so—" | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.462011 | 6.6 |
"Fuck all of you." Sarah grabbed her bag and left. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.462318 | 6.6 |
Jack sighed. "Let her go. Ugh. Okay, so this is so major. Seriously, _La Vie_ just got so chic, you guys." Jack nodded his head as he said it. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.462625 | 6.6 |
Zhazha smiled. "It was all Anya's idea. She's been such a good friend." Friend. Again. She kept saying the word. It made me feel strange. Warm and tingly. I had a friend. A fabulous friend. And her name was Zhazha. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.462932 | 6.6 |
"Anya, I'm so impressed. I knew there was more to you than what Sarah said." Jack winked at me. See? Winking was cool. But what did Sarah say about me? | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.463239 | 6.6 |
"Should we go get her?" I asked. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.463546 | 6.6 |
"Nah, let her throw her tantrum. She'll be fine. Let's order fries!" Jack could eat carbs and never gain an ounce. My envy levels were through the roof. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.463853 | 6.6 |
"Brillz," I said, grinning at Zhazha. My friend. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.46416 | 6.6 |
Lists, according to Dr. M, were supposed to be used like a cheat sheet to help me move forward when I got stuck or overwhelmed. He made me do them so I could focus. Realign, he said. He'd been reading too much hippie wellness shit. Next he'd have me playing with Sarah's crystals. But I dutifully made my list of everything I had to deal with. All the stresses in my life. He was right; it did help. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.464774 | 6.6 |
Realign. Change what you can, ignore the rest. The shard wasn't my problem anymore. Lauren would have to deal with it herself. Mulberry would eventually stop getting invites to things—I hoped. Diana was on #TeamAnya and helping me out in the comments section (thanks, girl!). Cassie was no longer an issue, but I did need a new intern. I was fetching our mail myself. How sad. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.465081 | 6.6 |
That left Zhazha, Jack, and Sarah. One of those intrusive thoughts crossed my mind. What if they became the new trinity? Without me? I bit my tongue while thinking of it. Not in a figurative way. Blood filled my mouth. Was I supposed to swallow it? No, wait, I'd read that was bad for you. My debate was interrupted by Sarah screaming in her cubicle. I rolled my eyes, swallowed with a grimace, and drank more coffee. It tasted metallic. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.465388 | 6.6 |
She popped up to peer over my cubicle wall. "Oh my God. Oh my God!" Her shriek resonated through the office. It had to be serious. She was saying the actual words for once. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.465695 | 6.6 |
"Calm down. What, did you miss a party or something?" | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.466002 | 6.6 |
Her face paled. "Cassie!" She gasped. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.466309 | 6.6 |
"Is she still not here? Have you called her apartment?" | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.466616 | 6.6 |
"No, she's dead!" | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.466922 | 6.6 |
"What do you mean she's dead?" I spit by accident, spraying bloody saliva at Sarah. She impatiently wiped her face, glaring at me. _Smile_. More coffee was needed. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.467229 | 6.6 |
"You said that. Sarah, tell me what's going on." | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.467843 | 6.6 |
"It's in the _Post_." She waved the paper at me. There on the front page was Cassie's photo and the headline, " _Intern Slain!_ " | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.46815 | 6.6 |
"Holy shit." I grabbed the paper and read everything: her dreams to work in fashion, her life at _La Vie_ , and the possibility of a copycat killer. I had a feeling Detective Hopper was going to want a date soon. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.468457 | 6.6 |
"I know. Now we _really_ need a new intern." | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.469071 | 6.6 |
Celia made us meet and talk about Cassie, just so she'd have something to say to the press. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.469685 | 6.6 |
"Was she liked? Was she pretty? Who was her family?" she demanded. Sarah said nothing. I gave Celia the necessary info, and we went back to our desks. Before reaching them, Sarah suddenly grabbed my arm, shaking me. It was not a pleasant feeling—but she was touching me! | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.469992 | 6.6 |
"Oh, God, Anya, do you think we're, like . . . next? I mean, Mulberry, Cassie, Lisa—what if someone's after us? What if it's someone in fashion like Jack said?" | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.470299 | 6.6 |
"I don't know. I don't see how they're connected." | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.470606 | 6.6 |
"Well, they were in fashion, with us, and now they're dead!" | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.470913 | 6.6 |
"But they didn't die in the same way. The police haven't said anything about them being connected. They seemed to think an ex killed Lisa." They hadn't. It was all, "We can't comment on ongoing investigations." | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.47122 | 6.6 |
"But what if they _are_?" | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.471527 | 6.6 |
"I dunno. There are, like, two thousand active serial killers in the US right now. So it could be." Sarah's jaw dropped. I hadn't helped. "Well, um, I could call that detective and find out what's going on, if that will put you at ease." | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.471834 | 6.6 |
I dialed Hopper's number while she watched. My heart skipped a beat when he got on the line. "Detective Hopper? It's Anya St. Clair." | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.472141 | 6.6 |
"Hi, Anya. What can I do for you?" | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.472448 | 6.6 |
"Is it true about Cassie Sachs? She was our intern." He was quiet for a moment. I didn't know how to interpret that. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.472755 | 6.6 |
"Yes, we identified her body." | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.473062 | 6.6 |
Took them long enough. She'd been dead for almost two weeks. Benson and Stabler would never let corpses rot this long. Someone gets killed and _bam_ , they're on the scene. Maybe Hopper wasn't as good a detective as I thought. I felt both relieved and disappointed. I wanted a smart boyfriend. | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.473369 | 6.6 |
"Oh, God. That's awful! Is there anything we can do, or any information you need from us?" | #FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar | 0.473676 | 6.6 |