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1675105234 | 1675112997 | t3_10patw4 | t5_2to41 | 4 | reddit_fan167567: TIFU- not caring about my bsf
i won’t say any names incase anyone i know finds this so i’ll be calling my best friend by A and my other friend by G. for context i’m in year 10 (14-15) just to give a bit of an age range.
so basically my best friend, A, has like severe anxiety and it’s like really bad. she has to have weeks off school because she just can’t come in and stuff and i get that she’s mentally ill i really do but before i met G she was my only friend so when she used to go off i used to be all by myself. and while i admit i always went into a mood with her for a bit it was nothing serious i swear like maybe i was a bit passive aggressive sometimes but that’s it!!
so then we met G and he’s honestly so sweet. he’s into lads so i’m not into him obviously but it’s so so nice to have a friend when A has her time off.but she’s just straight up rude to him sometimes and i’m like 80% sure it’s because she’s jealous that i’m spending time with another friend but it’s whatever most of the time she’s nice to him.
my problem is that on wednesday i had half (first 2 periods+break) off to go HOSPITAL. that’s a pretty valid reason in my opinion but she doesn’t seem to think so. so she went really really bitchy with me and started to say all these sly comments and now she’s gone off for a week and earlier i texted her “u ok?” and she just left me on opened.
i feel really bad but i just feel like i need to put me first sometimes i’ve tried to be patient but i should be out having fun right??? like whenever i go over to hers she just wants to sit in and it’s not a crime to want to go out at 14 and have a teenage life right
was this a fuck up??? because my mum keeps on saying to just keep on giving her time but 🤷🏻♀️
TL;DR: my friend has really bad anxiety but idk if i can put up with it anymore
(sorry if this is bad don’t rlly use reddit and this is a spam acc)
AllanfromWales1: You want to have fun, so you go to hospital? Interesting..
reddit_fan167567: no i don’t think u understood me ahaha i had to go hospital that’s why i was off and she got rlly mad that i “abondended” her. i understand the miss understanding tho i’ll be more clear next time!
AllanfromWales1: So what's that got to do with you wanting to go out and have fun? Seems like two separate issues.
reddit_fan167567: it is, i probs should of put it more separately really my bad but i meant that i wish i could have more fun then just staying inside whenever we hang out but i get her anxiety i really try to and it does make me feel guilty but i just wish really
| 5 | 0.8 |
|
1675106395 | 1675107135 | t3_10pbbvy | t5_2to41 | 27 | [deleted]: TIFU by shaving my circumcised penis
[deleted]
ActualCannibalMrY8s: Hold up, are you saying hair grows on your dick itself, like the shaft? Go to a doctor wtf
forestapee: Its pretty normal to have hair growing on the lower part of the shaft. I'd say it's odd if it's more than a third to half way up.
Depends on dick size too though I imagine. Available surface area and all that
ActualCannibalMrY8s: Yeah there's a little on the base of mine but it seems like OP means all the way up lmao. If it hasn't effected him negatively then it's not an issue I guess though.
| 4 | 6.75 |
|
1673346037 | 1673394823 | t3_1086fxg | t5_2to41 | 48 | D_longy: Tifu by potentially getting my nudes exposed online🤔
First off this literally happened too me (21M) 10 mins ago and so I said fuck it let's make my first ever tifu post.
So today I was minding my business on family vacation, and I got a text on Instagram from an account I didn't recognize. But the photo was someone I did recognize as a 1 night stand that happened at a hotel party a while ago (I was drunk and don't 100% remember her name, i think it was betty or something along those lines but shes 20f with punk hair🤣) and this was obviously a brand new account with no name or location other than the screen name. They sent me a I photo of me with my cock out and started asking for money. I laughed at them and said go ahead I have a nice looking one, I'm broke anyway so go fuck yourself and blocked then reported the account. I then put a post out on my snapchat and insta saying if anyone gets a nude of me that's why🤣🤣. So I guess I fucked up by sending a nude months ago too someone i hooked up with, but i think its more of a lose lose situation than a fuck up. I also did try too find our snap record (where she got the photo in the first place as we texted 2 or 3 times after the initial hookup and one of them included that photo) but shes obviously deleted me and I can't find her😅.
TL;DR someone I fucked while drunk and sexted once after the fact is trying too use the nude photo against me for money🤣 I laughed and said go ahead I have a nice cock
OkVolume1: Nice cock, bro.
D_longy: Thanks bro. It apparently belongs too the internet now
u532n4m3ch3ck50u7: Username checks out....
D longy B longy to the I
yeahcanigeta_uhhhhhh: username also checks out...?
| 5 | 9.6 |
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1673351098 | 1673388787 | t3_1087ufr | t5_2to41 | 899 | NoNamesAvaiIable: TIFU by playing Glimpse of Us by Joji in public for my gf
So context: i live in Brazil, and my gf has been in love with glimpse of us by Joji ever since it came out, despite not fully knowing what the songs about.
I'm ok on a guitar and have a group of friends who have a band that plays at bars and small events. Trying to be a romantic, i asked them if they could learn the song so I could surprise her by playing her favorite song.
So we went to a bar this weekend and it was time to put my plan in action. I went up and played my heart out(even got some mild applause!). My gf loved it, that is until she got home.
She posted a small video of it on her insta story and a friend of her went and told her the meaning of the song. In case you don't know, it's about a guy who has a perfect gf but can't forget about his ex.
So now my gf thinks I'm thinking about an ex, and the mood has soured.
Tldr: tried to be romantic by playing my GFS favorite song, turns out the song is about missing your ex
GeekyTricky: So wait. She didn't know, you didn't know.
That one asshole on insta ruined everything?
He's the one she should be mad at...
NoNamesAvaiIable: Nope, we didn't know. I probably should've picked up on it when I was getting the lyrics down but I already knew like 80% of the song so I just skimmed over it and never paid attention haha
ShaderzXC: Mate this is the biggest non issue. 90% of sex playlist / romantic songs are probably about the artist cheater on their partner.
NoNamesAvaiIable: Yeah, it's not like we had some massive argument, it was more of a funny little thing that happened.
VocalMagic: Breaking news; Clueless Man plays Filthy Frank song about Thinking About Ex for Clueless GF
| 6 | 149.833333 |
|
1675110525 | 1675182762 | t3_10pd2gc | t5_2to41 | 1,012 | Mission-Handle-9033: TIFU by introducing my family to death note
So, this happened last night, but the fallout came today. Last night, my family (my two parents and sister (22f)) were browsing TV for something to watch. I’ve been watching the show death note, recently, and have gotten really into it, despite not being too into anime. I suggested we watch the first episode, thinking my parents might enjoy the plot. I skipped the theme song, knowing my dad would find it irritating. I explained a couple plot points at my dad’s request. Anyway, we watched it, my parents mostly enjoyed it, and that was that. Today, my sister started saying that our parents shouldn’t watch it, because she didn’t like skipping the theme songs, because it wasn’t watching it properly, and that I ruined the entire episode by talking during it. I told her that mom and dad liked it though. She went on to aggressively tell me that she’d had it on her watchlist for way longer than I’d been watching it for, and to stop treating it like it was my thing. This devolved into her yelling and swearing at my mom and I, saying she was going to watch the whole series in the next two days, so that my parents wouldn’t be ahead of her in an anime. It got so loud my dad, who works from home, came storming out of his office to see what the commotion was. She kept giving me dirty looks as she left for school.
TL;DR Watched an episode of death note with my parents, and caused total chaos within my family.
Edit: I just wanted to say thanks to everyone in the comments for being kind and supportive about the situation, since I can’t respond to everyone.
Meg678: By the sounds of it you mean watched an episode of death note with your parents and your sister caused total chaos
Mission-Handle-9033: Fair point. She’s pretty unpredictable. I probably should have picked up that it was setting her off though.
SunChipMan: I was diagnosed with Bipolar last year. Sounds like some I might have done in a bad state.
Mission-Handle-9033: Honestly, I’m pretty sure that’s the case with her. I’m not posting to trash on her, I’m just a bit exhausted and figured random strangers on the internet were better than anyone with any connection to her.
SunChipMan: Yeah, sometimes better to wait for things to cool down. You didn't FU at all. And Death Note is amazing.
Mission-Handle-9033: Yes, I love it so far!
Bike_Chain_96: How far are you in it? I'm the type that would be a dick and watch it all in a day (actually possible, if my memory is correct) just to spite them
Mission-Handle-9033: I think I’m like halfway.
Bike_Chain_96: If you're halfway, you're definitely far enough that you could finish it in a day. I say do it today and start talking about it at dinner
johndeerdrew: The anime came out in 2006. It is 17 years old. At this point, she can't claim a darn thing.
| 11 | 92 |
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1675109509 | 1675145127 | t3_10pcnjs | t5_2to41 | 180 | Independent-Yak9490: TIFU buy pulling my eyes at the asian waitress
Me and a good friend of mine often hang out in restaurants. Since we are both university students and quite busy, we usually go for dinner.
This time we also went quite late in the evening, and since I was working on my computer all day, I was feeling very tired, my eyes were sore and I had a pretty bad head ache. I was kind of zoned out the whole time, not really paying attention to anything. The waitress came and took our order, and as she was leaving, my friend turned to me with a horrified face and said “WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT??”. I just looked at him with confusion, having no idea what he was talking about. I asked him what he meant, and his response was: “the thing you did. The thing with your eyes. That’s hella racist”.
I was still confused about what he was saying, but then it finally hit me.
There is this thing I do when my eyes are cramping and giving me a head ache, where I just run my fingers through my eyes and pull the corners up and away really tight and keep them pulled like that for a few seconds. It helps to relax my eyes and ease the pain. And yes, it looks exactly like the gesture people use to mock asians for their eyes. Until now I was not even really conscious of doing it.
Unfortunately for me, I happened to do this exact same thing when the waitress came to pick up our order. Then I realized the worst thing: our waitress was asian, and in my zoned out state, I stared right into her face while doing the gesture.
Needless to say, she did not come back to our table. I’m secretly praying she did not notice it but the chances are pretty low.
TL;DR: my eyes were hurting and as an attempt to massage them, I accidentally made a racist eye pull gesture at our asian waitress.
AcrobaticSource3: Try to buy some blue light glasses, they help with the glare when staring at a computer for long periods
PaperSpartan42: Apparantly no hard evidence to support this.b
BloodlustROFLNIFE: But the cool trendy companies who make them told me they do!
twochain2: You mean Apple? Isn’t there a setting for your smartphones also?
I used to have it for my Samsung and it was amazing hard evidence or not. Swapping back to the normal version hurt my eyes so much.
| 5 | 36 |
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1673354227 | 1673354830 | t3_1088t1c | t5_2to41 | 9 | BreathSpiritual6326: TIFU nothing! Instead, нєу ¢σ¢кяσα¢н'ѕ ρσσρѕ яєα∂ιηg, нσω тнє ƒαт ηιggєя'ѕ ƒυ¢кιηg ƒυ¢к ¢αη ι ƒυ¢кιηg ριяαтє мιηє¢яαƒт!??!? ι ∂ση'т ωαηт ηιggєя ѕнιтту ѕнιтαѕѕ ƒαт ℓєѕвιαη ƒαggσт ѕнιтαѕѕ ¢σ¢к ѕυ¢кєяѕ ηιggα ρσσρ ωнσ ѕυ¢кѕ gαу ηιggєя ¢σ¢кяσα¢н'ѕ ∂ι¢к ¢σммєηтѕ ƒяσм αηу σƒ уσυ ƒαggσт ηιggєяѕ ѕнιтαѕѕ!!!
[removed]
King_Loui_XVI: Dude what could have possibly convinced you this was a good idea?
Pirson: Must have got a phone for her 12th birthday.
| 3 | 3 |
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1675111838 | 1675141203 | t3_10pdm8a | t5_2to41 | 4,698 | [deleted]: TIFU by ignoring a mandatory boil order
[deleted]
Clickum245: Filters, like carbon or activated charcoal, typically only remove sediment or corrosion products. They do not remove viruses or bacteria.
caseyatbt: Does a UV light get them?
tell_her_a_story: The whole house uv light filter we installed last year claims to eliminate 99.99% of bacteria and viruses in water. Trick is that it's got to be rated for adequate flow rates to get enough exposure time for the uv light to do its thing.
Satansrainbowkitty: Whole house?!
tell_her_a_story: I'm on a well, when we moved in it tested positive for coliforms. Wife never had well water before and insisted we either get a whole house uv filter or a chlorinator. UV filter was lower cost, easier maintenance (annual bulb replacement) and doesn't alter the taste of the water. 15 or 16gpm flow rating.
Satansrainbowkitty: Awesome. I had no idea whole house uv was a thing- it makes sense now. Thanks for explaining it.
I was genuinely curious, mostly because i thinking about like .. cheap generic "uv lights" at each spigot haphazardly slapped on lol.
tell_her_a_story: It's not as complex as you might think. The unit is essentially a stainless steel tank with a UV light inside a quartz sleeve that gets plumbed into the waterline from the well. Has a ballast that has a built in countdown from 365 days to help track lamp replacement intervals. A couple valves to isolate and bypass the tank and Bob's your uncle. The hospital I work at uses UV sterilization for operating rooms and COVID patient rooms. Figured if it's good enough for that, it should work for my drinking water, backed up by water testing by a local university.
Satansrainbowkitty: Let me know if your wife has any other ideas, as a wife, lol
tell_her_a_story: She has lots of ideas, many include putting me to work. New flooring, lights, countertops, cabinets, furniture, so on and so forth...
Satansrainbowkitty: Idle hands man
tell_her_a_story: No rest for the weary
| 12 | 391.5 |
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1673355082 | 1673356517 | t3_10892t8 | t5_2to41 | 15 | vommer3000: TIFU by drinking wine.
I never thought I would find myself posting here on TIFU, but here I am. As usual, this wasn't today, it was a few days ago. I am horrified with myself, so I haven't felt ok to think about it until now. - Warning, this gets pretty gross.
My friend invited me over, and a few hours in she offered to let me stay because we were having a nice time and that way we could both drink. Usually I would go buy my own alcohol, but she insisted that I have some of hers because I always pay every time we hang out, and she felt bad. I have no idea what the wine was, all I know was that it was white. I am usually fine with wine, except if I have anything bubbly, it gives me a killer headache. This was just your standard, non sparkling run of the mill white wine.
All is well. We are chatting, playing board games, watching shows, cooked pasta. I have always been able to drink a lot and not get sick, so I completely underestimated how this bottle of wine would affect me. It was only 7.4 standard drinks, but it hit me like a truck even though I drank it over the span of 6 hours. She has an L shaped couch, and we were settled to sleep well after midnight.
I was only asleep for about an hour before I woke up to a very, very bad headache. It was throbbing through my jaw, my temples, my neck. I felt my head and it felt lumpy and kinda swollen (probably just my kind of drunk imagination) and it freaked me out. I sat up for a while, and it wasn't going away so I asked my friend for a panadol. She grabbed me one and I tried to settle in for sleep again. My headache didn't go away after about 30 minutes, but I started getting reflux. I sat up again and waited a while.
To note, I very rarely throw up. If I feel nauseous, I go sit at the toilet and I'm very good at knowing when I'm going to be sick. Not this time. Out of no where, my body starts HEAVING. I immediately get up and run down the hallway, and try to make it to their toilet. This hallway was pitch black, and I could see nothing. I was relying on day memory of where the toilet door was. I found it, but I ran straight into the half opened door, and as I do the vomit comes up into my hands and I catch it as best I can. The door to the bathroom was open and I ran to the sink and emptied my hands. I started throwing up over and over, chunks of thick undigested pasta. I was shaking. I got it in my hair. On my clothes. All over the counter.
I take a second to process what had just happened, and to assess my situation. Okay, this is a sink. Surely if I run the water the vomit should easily slide down the drain and I'm good to clean up. SIKE. It was one of those raised plugs that don't come out, and the holes around the perimeter are extremely small. My pasta vomit has pooled in the sink. I immediately knew what I had to do, with no hesitation. I grabbed a roll of toilet paper and started wrapping it around my hands and scooping it up and throwing it in the toilet. I was running on pure adrenaline, I was sobbing while doing this and trying to not wake my friend up. The sink was filled to the brim and I was horrified. I checked my fitbit later, and it said that I was awake for an hour and a half shovelling vomit and cleaning myself up.
However, the smell was HORRENDOUS. I found their deodorising spray and tried to mask the smell as best as I could, I washed my hair, I changed my clothes (thank f I had an extra outfit with me). I went through 2 and a half rolls of toilet paper. I woke up early in the morning before her and cleaned even more because I was so ashamed.
It's safe to say that I am never drinking wine again.
TL;DR - I threw up in the sink at my friends house after drinking wine.
Competitive-Isopod74: Like the time my FIL visited with a very expensive tequila. I have no problem drinking tequila, but I also don't really drink. 1 or 2 is usually it. Well, since it was expensive and delicious, I snuck about 5 shots. It hit me hard. I ran into my bathroom but missed the toilet and threw up pizza all over the BACK of the toilet. I knew sober me was going to be so pissed, so I spent an hour on my knees scooping up pizza vomit and cleaning every crevice I could. And literally crawled out of the bathroom that night. The next morning, I was actually pretty impressed with my cleanup job.
Also, I have vomiting in my hands, while driving home new years day, back in my younger years. Needless to say, I don't like drinking. I'll stick to pot.
vommer3000: It's pretty cool how being drunk can give you the power to clean things that you wouldn't be able to do sober, but then again there wouldn't have been a mess if sober. I definitely prefer pot, especially as I get older. I look back at how much I used to be able to drink and I cringe. A whole bottle of whiskey, bottle of red wine and I would somehow still be able to stay upright and not throw up. I don't know how I haven't died from alcohol poisoning. Whiskey tends to sit in my stomach better than other types.
Competitive-Isopod74: And then there's the heartburn.
vommer3000: That lasts for days
| 5 | 3 |
|
1675114274 | 1675116228 | t3_10peoq5 | t5_2to41 | -2 | Silent-Minion-8281: TIFU by accidentally kissing my friend
Throwaway account because duh
I am in a committed relationship of about 8 months, Over the weekend I decided to have a sleepover with my 2 best friends. We all got together at my house and did pretty standard activities.
It should be stated that we are all teenagers in this story
The sleeping arrangements, however, were not as standard, I had inflatable beds but we instead decided to share mine since I had a large one and we all liked cuddling.
Important to note I am very platonic with all of them and the friend who is most involved in this story is a lesbian and I'm a guy. At about 2:00 am me and her were cuddling and like hugging, now I am beyond exhausted at this point. I was working with 6 hours of sleep the night before and closing in on 20 hours awake, this might not seem like a lot for some but it's unheard of for me. Anyways I and her were cuddling and my mind was insanely loopy and not functioning, I was easily more than half asleep. Just then I remember that our lips met and we kissed. The kiss felt very platonic and non-romantic, the way you would kiss a family member. After then I slowly start regaining sentience and realize how hard I fucked up I decided to go the bathroom and then downstairs to hide.
I felt sick with guilt and just needed to get away and calm down, my friend eventually found me and we had a conversation about how much we just fucked up and how guilty we felt, and then started thinking about what to do. It's important that at this time I was spiraling hard, I was convinced this was going to ruin my life and that it was all over.
I quickly decided on telling my gf as I didn't want to hide things from her, I drafted a message and sent it to her at about 4:00 am before I went back to sleep. At that time and into the next morning I realized how hard I was spiraling and started feeling a bit better and that my life wasn't over. In the morning she texted me back basically saying that she forgives me and it sounded like an accident and just don't let it happen again. The rest of that day was relatively nice, considering, of course, I was still feeling insanely guilty and awful, I and her were talking as usual and it was nice.
Then today happened
We met up and it was clear she still felt hurt I tried to her in any way I can. While we were sitting she asked "who initiated it" and after I told her no one she asked me to not be so close to her again and considering the context this was beyond understanding. during lunch when we were all present my friend had a breakdown over guilt and my gf said again that it was an accident and it wasn't anybody's fault. I still felt awful with guilt but things were going alright considering the circumstances.
Then the end of the day hit, It is important to note that I had not told the other friend in the bed about what happened as I was still reeling from it myself, I was going to tell him probably today but hadn't got around to it yet. They had a class together before the end I was waiting by her locker as I always do, then they both walked around the corner and her eyes go dead when she sees me. I go up to her and say Hi before then immediately after she goes "what the fuck, why didn't you tell me all of what happened at the sleepover." I am confused as I told her what had happened so I asked panicked "what do you mean" then she says "first you kiss another girl, and then you lie to me!?" after that she starts going off about how I didn't tell the other friend yet and how "he was in the same bed!" and I was extremely caught off guard and scared so I was just saying "he wasn't directly involved" and "I was going to tell him." then she looks at me with the angriest/most dead eyes I have ever seen and slowly shakes her head and I take that as my time to leave.
It's important to note that we were at various stages of undress while in bed as you do while sleeping so that might be what she's referring to but these were my friends and I didn't think anything of it.
I go to my bus and ever so barely keep it together as I head back to my house, tears still pouring down my face. My friend who was also in bed also left the group chat with all of us so I'm pretty sure he hates me too. As soon as I got home I collapsed and began breaking down. I have had issues with seeing myself or others seeing me as a bad person so this has brought all of them back. I ended up ripping some books off the bookshelves as I felt they were taunting me and I ripped my superman poster off of my wall lol. It's just seeing him being the embodiment of a good person and then there's me, a piece of shit, it was just too much.
My dad comes in and tries to pry open what's upsetting me and what happened but I just can't tell him, I am a piece of shit and my whole life is falling apart. I ended up falling back to things I had stopped doing previously such as scratching or hitting myself when I feel like I deserve it, I've probably got several bruises now lol.
I don't even know why I'm posting this, honestly, this has been the only thing stopping me from weeping uncontrollably, or maybe I just needed to tell someone. I honestly don't know what to do, I love her very much and she probably hates me and is going to break up with me, not to mention my other friend who probably hates me now. I just don't know what to do. All of my worst dreams came true
Also if you're going to go into the comments to tell me how bad of a person I am, believe me, I know.
TL;DR I accidentally kissed my friend while exhaustively cuddling and now my life is over
(edit) She broke up with me
(edit2) My other best friend cut contact and wanted to stop being friends
(edit3) it was spread around by the best friend that cut contact and the rumor is getting more and more distorted
Tpk08210: *her and I
Silent-Minion-8281: I knew someone was going to point that out lol
Tpk08210: Glad to be here
| 4 | -0.5 |
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1675113343 | 1675116959 | t3_10pea7q | t5_2to41 | 13 | Some_Vermicelli1791: TIFU I threw up in class
[removed]
terencela: You'll be embarrassed for the next few days / weeks until it's forgotten and someone else does something embarrassing or people get bored talking about it.
In twenty years time you'll get it as a flashback while you're in the middle of something mundane and unrelated and you'll forget about it again.
All good, just gotta hope your nickname doesn't stem from it, then it'll take a lot longer!
Some_Vermicelli1791: Thanks hopefully your right lol
terencela: No worries, Vom Cruise.
| 4 | 3.25 |
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1675116928 | 1675123202 | t3_10pftwr | t5_2to41 | 21 | embarrassediasked: TIFU By getting tourist trapped
Back in 2012 I went on vacation to Paris with a few friends, we were all young men just looking for fun and to blow off some steam from work.
So we venture to all the Tourists Spots stupid Australian Tourists would go avoiding all the obvious tourist traps and shaking our heads at those that got caught. We were just dumb young adults then and thought ourselves better, at least that was until the night rolled in.
One of the guys suggested we hit up the Moulan Rouge this night and so off we went.
We were having an absolute blast.
Bar hopping and using our "Foreign Charm" and either striking out or getting lucky, soon it was just me and my friend left [we'll call him CJ].
Now both of us being the youngest of the group and having little experience with women at the time we kept to ourselves.
That was until 2 absolute beautiful women WAAAAAY out of our league approached us, we talked, drank, and danced for a while before they told us about the best private club in Paris which they so happened to be members of.
So our dumb dumb dumb idiot selves said yes to going with them. This is where we fucked up.
Now generally if you get led down various alleyways into seedier territory self preservation would kick in and scream run, Unfortunately for me and CJ we were thinking with the wrong head.
We arrived outside an establishment with no windows and a single huge tatted up bouncer waiting outside, he let us and the girls in.
As we entered the girls went behind the bar and disappeared leaving the poor fools of this story in an abandoned bar with: The Bartender and a table of about 6 "Distinguished" men one being the obvious leader, we will call him [BDM].
One of the men told us to come over.
Well Fuck, we knew we messed up.
The exchange of conversation from memory went a little like this:
[BDM] "Welcome to my Bar. You like my women".
Immediately I recognised the accent. Russian. Fuck.
[Me] "Ahhh yeah their very pretty".
Wrong Answer.
[BDM] "So you wanna sex them! She's my wife".
Goddamn it.
[CJ] "No mate we just thought they..."
The group start talking their language interrupting us. Yep. We're dead.
[BDM] "Are you Australian?".
We nod yes, terror sinking into my soul even deeper.
[BDM] " Then you can drink?".
We nod again and say yes.
From what I can remember before blacking out we spent and tipped an exorbitant amount of money on drinks at that place while we went shot for shot with these guys until the early hours of the next day and woke up in our hotel lobby, surprisingly still with our phones, wallets, and valuables.
When we inquired to the reception about how we got back we were told we were dropped off in a black SUV with 3 Distinguished Men that told the reception to "Be good to our Australian Friends".
Thanking God we survived we returned to our rooms to tell the others our story and later when I checked my phone I had an extra contact number.
"Ruski Bro Bean". I never called that number.
TL;DR: Went on a Paris vacation and got tourist trapped by what I can assume to be a Russian gang, got saved by my Australian Accent.
fliguana: The trap worked exactly as it was supposed to. Separate tourists from the money without violence.
I think the same would happen with Americans in 2012.
There were a couple of these honeypot places in Miami, operating in plain view.
embarrassediasked: Yep, lesson learned.
Same thing happened again to me when I visited India with a Chinese Bombshell, she tried to drug me but luckily I was smart enough not to go along with it.
fliguana: Hey, at least you didn't get an STD.
embarrassediasked: You know what I have never even considered that as a consequence.
I know I'm clean but that is something that just shook me right now.
| 5 | 4.2 |
|
1675118288 | 1675119045 | t3_10pge2w | t5_2to41 | 31 | [deleted]: TIFU by stealing from my company’s clients
[deleted]
dpg3456: So after 3 months without an income and landing a job, your instinct was to steal from your clients?
> I am actually a really dedicated and hard working engineer
Who also likes to steal
speculatrix: And who only seems to care about having been caught.
| 3 | 10.333333 |
|
1675122826 | 1675125809 | t3_10pi7vv | t5_2to41 | 13 | [deleted]: TIFU by measuring the size of my face with my fingers and getting caught! (M20)
[deleted]
ShitBritGit: Measure your face with the croissant.
AcrobaticSource3: Croissants would be an excellent new unit of measurement
| 3 | 4.333333 |
|
1675127015 | 1675164922 | t3_10pjt3t | t5_2to41 | 17 | [deleted]: TIFU by putting my bff's electric kettle on the stove
[deleted]
attabe123: It was an accident and bff is definitely overreacting. Don't beat yourself up
i_need_a_username201: Overreacting to almost burning the house down stupidly when he just moved in? No he reacted appropriately. His feelings are justified and she did something stupid that could’ve cost lives.
| 3 | 5.666667 |
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1673353416 | 1673390486 | t3_1088jsl | t5_2to41 | 63 | ChronicCrimson420: TIFU by making a joke
I work in a high school as a janitor. I work the day shift and get off work a half hour before the kids get out of school.
So today was the first day back for the kids after Christmas break. The first bell hasn’t even rang yet and I already have to clean up two spills made by the kids after spending all of the Christmas break cleaning what couldn’t be done when the kids are here. It’s maybe almost 10 in the morning when I get a call on my radio from a security guard at the school telling me to change a trash bag in a can by the gym across from the boy’s locker room. The security guard mentioned on the radio that I wouldn’t believe what was in the can. My partner I work with is there and I tell her I’ll change it and I make a joke and say “if it’s poop I’m going on strike.”
I grab my gloves and the roll of trash bags and head to the can that was mentioned. I get close to the can when I smell the horrible stench of shit. I look inside the can and I see a big shit at the bottom of the can. I quickly change the bag and tie it up and quickly run it out to the dumpster. I head to my break room to take my lunch break shortly after when the guard comes in. He says to me “I’m sorry about that.” I then respond with “I don’t even want to know how it got in there.” We have multiple security cameras in the school and the principals watch them like hawks. The security guard then tells me that they saw what happened on the camera and some boy left the gym pulled his pants down and shit in the garbage can. He also told us that we need to go back to the area and sanitize the drinking fountain because he washed his hands in it when he was done.
I was just making a funny joke thinking someone wouldn’t actually put shit in a garbage can but I was wrong I was so wrong. TLDR: Make a joke about poop being in a garbage can only to find out a kid took a shit in the garbage can.
PanicAttempt101: Kids fucking suck
ChronicCrimson420: They do. It’s stuff like this that give me a childfree stance and got myself sterilized so I can never have any
[deleted]: Kids really do fucking suck. Even if you liked kids, they'd probably be doomed to fight others their age for scarce resources when our environment inevitably collapses, so, it's a win-win with having no kids.
| 4 | 15.75 |
|
1675128103 | 1675155235 | t3_10pk7p1 | t5_2to41 | 241 | forever-lost435: tifu by ruining the relationship with my best friend with sex
so this has been going on for a month, and i have no one to talk to about this besides him. my best friend is a guy and we talk about everything together and every day i am excited to either talk with him or just hang out. if something funny happens at home or i find a meme online, hes the first person I tell about it. he had a girlfriend for about a year and i always thought they were really cute together. sometimes the three of us would hang out and i would joke that they're like my parents and im their adopted child.
recently he had been venting to me about their arguments, which started out like petty stuff like when he didnt text back right away while he was at work, or when he mixed up takeout orders. they were rly dumb arguments but they started happening more and more.
cut to like 2 months ago, she breaks up with him out of the blue, and he is a wreck. i dont drive yet but i was trying to cheer him up and sent him cat videos and memes just to at least be a distraction. one day he mentioned he was dropping off furniture to his aunt who actually lives like 2 blocks from me so i say hey come pick me up let's go out for food or something. i didnt mean like as a date or anything cuz we've hung out before plenty of times.
anyways the vibe was off the whole time and i told him it's ok to not feel like he has to entertain me. he picked me up from my home and we went to get pho and boba tea but the place was crowded so we were eating at his place. we were watching netflix while we ate and soon after his mom left to go to work so we were home alone.
when we were done eating, we had been watching for a bit and i noticed he just was like barely paying attention so i did something iv never done and super regret it, i moved closer to him and cuddled with him. idk why i did it and i really just wanted to make him feel better. so we sat there cuddling and i feel his hand moving down my back. the next part we started kissing and then it turned to stuff iv never done before, and that's definitely not how i ever imaged it would go and i regret it really.
he took me home and kissed me in the car when we got to my place. i kissed him back and went inside and after i was inside I just felt really weird about it. there it happened two more times, i will skip details cuz its not about that.
over this past month our conversations aren't as fun as they used to be but im afraid if say anything ill lose the closest friend I have. also im worried for him because i don't want to abandon him. i feel like i started this and i have no idea what to do next. anyways i just wanted to vent, thank u for coming to my ted talk .
TL:DR i cuddled with my best friend after his breakup which led to sex eventually, and now our friendship kind of sucks and im too dumb to talk to him about it
keeperkairos: Was he being pushy about it or no? You say you felt weird about it but did you express that in anyway at the time? This is important because it tells us if he is being a bit manipulative. If nothing like that was going on, it’s probably just a bit awkward between you atm. Also there is no reason you can’t date this guy. This whole ‘don’t date a friend’ mindset is nonsense. A lot of life long relationships start as good friends.
forever-lost435: no he wasnt at all. i think im just putting all the pressure on myself idk why i'm like this lol
keeperkairos: Like you said, you have never done stuff like this before. You are understandably just a bit emotionally overwhelmed.
forever-lost435: i think you're right. i need time to process maybe
| 5 | 48.2 |
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1673364830 | 1673366070 | t3_108co5x | t5_2to41 | 29 | aloilisia: TIFU by ignoring the smell of my shea butter
So my skin is often dry and itchy and I haven't been able to find something that actually helps with it yet. I knew shea butter is supposed to be good for your skin so a few days ago I ordered raw and unrefined shea butter because why not.
It arrived today and was absolutely solid. No big deal, the packaging says that's normal and I can heat it up. I smelled it out of curiousity and it didn't smell very good. I thought that was normal - it's raw and unrefined after all so maybe that's just how it smells. I then began heating it up and it slowly liquified. The smell got stronger but it was still fine. After it was completely liquid I took quite a big amount and just slathered it on my legs and my face. Big mistake. Now it was directly under and around my nose and there was no escape from the smell.
I quickly reached for my phone and turned to google. And of course it's not supposed to smell like that. I rushed to the shower and tried to wash the butter off. I even tried to use some peeling. I got most of it off, but not everything. And it's like the smell has settled into my nose. I've been feeling sick since sunday and finally felt better today. That was until I decided to smear rancid shea butter on my face.
Now I'm sitting here, smearing some mint oil under my nose every few minutes because I feel like I have to throw up any second. Yeah.
TL;DR used rancid shea butter on my face and now I feel very sick
SnooBunnies7461: OMG you poor thing. That's terrible. And since its oil it gets into your skin and takes a while to work its way out. I'd probably try something like Dawn dish soap since that breaks down oils well. Good luck. Don't puke
aloilisia: Thanks lol. I think I managed to get most it off my skin it barely smells anymore but it really feels like it has moved right into my nose and it's impossible to get it out of there. Absolutely awful. But at least I learned something new I guess
| 3 | 9.666667 |
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1675129432 | 1675137368 | t3_10pkoiy | t5_2to41 | 17 | [deleted]: TIFU yesterday IFU by thinking I can run 12 mph
[deleted]
Zupheal: Back with more creative writing I see...
stachemz: Man. I hope it's creative writing but I've known dudes like this.
Zupheal: This dude posts one of these every couple weeks. Each with a new off the wall story, then deletes them when called out.
StillPuzzles__: And the cycle shall repeat!
| 5 | 3.4 |
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1673367460 | 1673378137 | t3_108dq23 | t5_2to41 | 215 | MiaMae: TIFU by getting a melody stuck in my head and tracking down the song right before an important work meeting
This just happened.
I had this old melody stuck in my head but the only word I could remember was "baby". It was a quiet, slow, sad-sounding tune but I could not place it.
Finally, I used the "What's this song" feature on Google and hummed a few bars. It got it immediately.
It was "Baby Mine" from Dumbo. So I watched the clip, like an idiot, about 5 minutes before an important meeting. I start crying because .. well, you know. And suddenly I'm one minute late, my mascara is smudged, my eyes are red, I'm sniffling, and now I'm leading a meeting. I tried to play it off as allergies when asked .. in February (\*edit: January) in Connecticut. SMH.
tldr; TIFU by accidently listening to a really sad song that made me tear up before a meeting and everyone on the meeting noticed I had been crying
A_NonE-Moose: It's already February? How long have I been sat on the toilet scrolling Reddit for?
SissyBearRainbow: "Today" for this sub means "one day in time that definitely isn't today"
NukeWarz: "this just happened" : (
| 4 | 53.75 |
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1673367762 | 1673424077 | t3_108duij | t5_2to41 | 62 | [deleted]: TIFU by sending my mom a picture of a bag of drugs
[deleted]
megszenteltkrendenc: I thought Adderall was a type of medication for people with ADHD? Since when is it an abusable drug?
Chimmeni: Adderall is medicine grade amphetamine. Basically Speed.
megszenteltkrendenc: OH WHAT
I didn't know that, thanks for the knowledge ^°^
ElectroStaticSpeaker: Combine it with weed and it feels very similar to molly.
Plantsandanger: I hate to break it to you, but I think you were sold *really* crap molly.
ElectroStaticSpeaker: Lol you’re not breaking anything to me. I’ve experienced a very wide range. Maybe you don’t get similar feeling. That’s ok. Many people react differently to different chemicals.
| 7 | 8.857143 |
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1675133507 | 1675135519 | t3_10pm4pw | t5_2to41 | -7 | bcheng81: TIFU by accidentally making a border patrol officer think I called him a liar.
It happened yesterday.
My wife and I live in Vancouver and decided to make a day trip to the US for some brunch and Trader Joe's. On our way back, we wanted to stop by the Peace Arch Park and do the very tourist-y thing of jumping back and forth the border and taking dumb pictures.
As this was our first time at the park, we asked a patrol officer how it worked if we don't have a paid Park Pass. He told me to go to the end of the parking lot where there are a few 15-minute free parking spots for visitors just passing by. For some reason, I didn't go to the end and thought I could just park anywhere for 15 minutes. As we both get off the car and walked toward the end of the parking lot, I could finally see the spots with the 15-minute markings so I do the routine thing of going back alone to my car to move it into the proper spot. I then caught up to my wife who had already made it halfway to the Peace Arch.
After basking in the glory of Peace and Freedom and everything afforded to us between our brotherly countries, we make our way back to my car. As I was prepared to leave, this rather rude officer (not the first one we spoke to) knocked on my window and almost yelled at me, asking me why I was running alone after a woman in the park, but now we are leaving together. At first, this doesn't register as something I did because I was trying to figure out in my little brain if this really just happened. So I told him: "No, I didn't run... what are you talking about?" He repeats that he saw me and that I wasn't being truthful. I repeated again that I wasn't sure what he was talking about until my wife reminded me that I did run after her after parking the car in the 15-minute spot. At that point, I was being asked for identification for what I guess is "lying to a border patrol officer" when it was a mistake so routine it never dawned on me that I was being scrutinized this way. I then explain to him exactly why I ran after her after parking the car "alone" and that we are now leaving together.
After going through our passports, he gave them back and "thanked me for calling him a liar". I swear, it was unintentional. I may now be on a list of people banned from entering the US as a result.
If any border patrol officer is in this TIFU subreddit, tell me what I did wrong!
TL;DR: I unintentionally called a border patrol officer a liar because I didn't remember that I ran after my wife after parking my car at Peace Arch Park.
zoronoa24: Surprised you didn't get shot
rtosser: It's OK, he's white.
MaximumEngineering8: Yeah, I was like, wait he must be black to have been questioned like that. But he got off with just a snarky comment, so must be white!
| 4 | -1.75 |
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1675132662 | 1675167473 | t3_10pltxq | t5_2to41 | 241 | [deleted]: TIFU by comparing a baby to a dog
[deleted]
YourMildestDreams: Mother here. Don't sweat it. I've compared both of my kids to dogs on many occasions. Though some older women in my family weren't too fond of the title "a toddler is like a dog that slowly learns to speak" that I used for the video of my oldest kid attempting her first sentences.
If someone said that their dog had the same name as one of my daughters, I'd compliment them on their good taste in names.
You didn't do anything wrong.
NoctuaFanGuy: Dogs are just kids on easy mode.
Dogs can be trained, kids are just shit.
Gr00mpa: But ten years in, the dog will still need help with shitting.
mcnathan80: Another 70 years in and so will the kid
| 5 | 48.2 |
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1675135230 | 1675136073 | t3_10pmqz7 | t5_2to41 | 11 | [deleted]: TIFU by asking my dad for McDonald’s his told me he’d get me
[deleted]
Possible_juror: Do you have a friend you can confide in? A teacher? You need out.
[deleted]: I told a teacher before about all the chores and work they make me do and she told me it’s life. All my friends know about it, but we’re kids lol, what can we do
Possible_juror: Maybe they can tell their parents and help you
Chores, sure. But the mental abuse and physical abuse needs to be specified. Leave the chores out because most people will say “oh you don’t know how work is” but being slapped by your dad is awful and he needs to be reprimanded. If my child’s friend told me then I would take you in (and probably slap him while I’m at it)
| 4 | 2.75 |
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1673369865 | 1673557263 | t3_108ep6u | t5_2to41 | 431 | DrKramerTheAssMan: TIFU by calling a sex partner “my son”
Technically not today, as this happened last night, and for context I am straight.
So my gf 26F and I 28M are into swinging, and we regularly meet with other couples we can find locally, and have foursomes and such, including yesterday’s couple, 25M and 25F who I don’t think we will be meeting with again.
So the night was going well, we all went for drinks and then we get back to our apartment, and it starts getting a bit rowdy, we fuck our respective partners, then me and 25F start going at it whilst my gf and 25M go at the same time.
Then my gf and 25F start making out, and then 25M tells me that he’s bi, and his gf says she wants to see me fuck him. My gf gives the go ahead since she is doing the girl, but I’m not sure since I’m straight, maybe a bit impartial to femboys but that’s pretty much it.
I ask for a few minutes to mentally prepare myself, and I have a couple more drinks in the kitchen, then I go back to the bedroom and order him to get on all fours. I position myself behind him, and I don’t know why, but I started doing a Richard Nixon impression, and shouted “Are you ready? In my best Nixon voice.
Before he could reply I immediately started fucking him with no mercy, and he was kinda screaming/moaning for a couple minutes. Then I started to cum, and screamed, “She’s gonna blow! I hope you’re ready for it my son, it’s going inside!” And then when I did cum I did the Nixon thing that he does in Futurama like Arrroooo https://youtu.be/h2TL0GHSue0 and then I started to go a bit more gentle so that he could cum too
Then he looked asked if we could stop, and him and 25F left about 10 minutes after, there was no after party like there normally is. I asked him if he was okay, and he said he was fine, but he obviously wasn’t. I asked if there was anything I could do to help him, and he said “no, don’t worry”. I asked him if I had made him uncomfortable and he said “Very”. I apologised and said if I knew I would’ve stopped, and he said “Don’t worry, I didn’t say to stop so you had no way to know, shit happens sometimes”.
After they were gone my gf said I made it very weird and that she doesn’t want to see me with men any more, and that we should take a break from swinging. I’m hoping this hasn’t permanently affected my relationship with my gf.
TL;DR Swinging with my gf, had sex with a man even though I’m straight, did an impression of Richard Nixon, called him my son
HTHSFI: I'm NOT trying to change anyone's mind about the subject. I'm just telling what I saw.
For those saying he is at least partially gay for fucking the man. I saw a show about porn actors. It told a little about each popular porn actor's personal sex life.
Most actors it talked about/showed were actors of straight scenes.
And the show showed what it said was one of the more popular gay actors.
The show talked about how, in real life, that gay-porn actor was totally straight. ( as in, NOT bi ).
It showed his real girlfriend there, behind the camera while they were filming him in a gay scene. It did not particularly show the scene. Just that they were filming it.
As soon as the scene was over, him and his girlfriend left the area.
My thought is "how the hell can you get a hard on to fuck a guy? Or for that matter, anyone in the ass?"
jahblessyourmom: I think some people can just get hard on demand. I've heard other actors say it in interviews. I see alot of European and other actors in porn so I assume it's not really easy to find someone with a big dong who can stay hard while "acting" with a bunch of people around so they gotta fly em in from other countries. It's a special talent that I don't have.
HTHSFI: Damn. That's some others that have talents I wish I would have.
Also, I have seen porno scenes that were not broken (not edited). So you know the guy actually had the talent/ability to cum inside her. And keep going for a long time after, without stopping. Showing he had NO refractory period.
Damn. I want that.
KhanSphere: Have you ever tried Viagra?
HTHSFI: Yes.
I have testosterone replacement therapy.
And I have 20 mg of tadalafil (generic Cialis) and 100 mg of sildenafil (generic Viagra). Sometimes I use one. And sometimes I use the other.
Yohimbine on its own it a less effective ED med. As well as being used to enhance energy.
AND it enhances the effect of ED meds. And no matter which ED med I use, I also take 7.5 mg of Yohimbine. That's the good ingredient in Yohimbe. You can get that on line. Or at your local vitamin store.
I also take Vitamin C. It enhances the effect of Yohimbine.
| 6 | 71.833333 |
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1675136613 | 1675185700 | t3_10pnbco | t5_2to41 | 68 | ReadingIntrovert: TIFU by spanking my gf
Note: New account so no one in my life (who knows I use Reddit) knows about this
So I (M22) am in a 1-2 year relationship with my gf (F20). She is one of the cutest and sweetest people I've ever known, and I am very lucky to have her in my life.
Roughly a couple of months ago, she opened up to me about being into domestic discipline. She told me she really likes spanking and would really want to incorporate punishing her into the relationship. Now, honestly, this turned me on and I thought this would spice things up in our relationship. Not to mention that she lately has been doing a bunch of reckless and irresponsible things lately (she mentioned that she did these things so I have reasons to spank her). So, both reluctantly and excitedly, I agreed to start spanking her for things she's done wrong.
So these past few months, I started spanking her. Most of the things I spank her for include her being late, lazy to the point of disrupting her priorities, attitude, etc. Most of her 'punishment' sessions were bending her over a table or something and spanking her with clothes on. Because I didn't want to really hurt her, I went easy and made sure I at least got her to feel it. Like I only spanked her until I knew her butt was pretty uncomfortable. Overtime, her punishments escalated. I started hitting harder and started pulling her pants down or lifting her skirt up. The more I did this, the more pain she felt. She was really okay with it and even thanked me for improving her behavior. Our relationship was pretty good.
Things were going pretty well (her behavior was improving) until today. Earlier today, while I was at work, she told me she was guilty because she almost set our apartment on fire. She was playing with fire or something and it got out of hand. She managed to put it out and all that, but I made it clear that she was gonna get spanked. She even said, probably out of guilt or shame or something, that I should go hard on her. She told me that I shouldn't hold back, which was what I was going to do. I mean, a huge accident could have happened.
I grabbed a hairbrush and a wooden spoon and bent her across my knee. I pulled her skirt up and panties down and started spanking her with the hairbrush. Eventually she was crying and kicking and all that stuff (which I thought was normal). It came to the point where I was using the spoon on her and her butt was bruised badly and she was bawling uncontrollably, begging me to stop. I stopped as she started begging and helped her up.
She pulled up her underwear and, without a word, left the apartment.
I feel extremely bad and felt like I went too far. I feel like I just ruined my relationship because I didn't know where her limits were. She also never gave or used a safeword because she said she would never need one. I got in contact with her earlier today and she said it was okay. She said she deserved it and I shouldn't feel bad. But I just feel like it isn't alright. I don't know what to do.
TL;DR: gf wanted to get punishment spankings and our last spanking session hurt her too much. She said it's fine but I don't think it is.
Fun-Pea-880: Let's hope she calls the police and files sexual assault charges so everyone who lives nearby you know how fucked up you are.
DumbestManEver: Your user name indicates you like golden showers but spanking is a bridge too far? 😏
Fun-Pea-880: Reddit picked the username; I think your username suits you well.
ChocolateUnlucky1214: Two things:
1. You are in the wrong here, deal with it.
2. Try to make fun of my username, sucka, I've tried and failed so many times.
Fun-Pea-880: 1. I'm not in the wrong
2. Ironic you are picking on me for making fun of a username which is precisely what /u/DumbestManEver did.
You would make an excellent republican because you call out the exact thing you are.
| 6 | 11.333333 |
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1675137972 | 1675140339 | t3_10pnwe9 | t5_2to41 | 9 | FeedTheWrongWolf: Tifu by calling my kid a cum pet.
He's 13 and very smart and mature for his age and I'm a young parent. He's honestly my best friend. Anyway....
I have some bad adhd. Here's how it happened.
The kid was messing with me and I started to say
"awe come on" I stuttered and stopped and he said
"Were you gonna call me the c word?"
"What c word? Cunt?"
"No dad the other one."
"Cum?"
"No c-o-c-k."
" Oh, cock." I said and laughed to myself aloud "Why did I say cum?"
"idk, why did you say that?"
This is where the add comes in. It just started coming out of my mouth "Because, you're a.... Nope. Nope. Nope."
I stopped myself initially, sometimes things start to come out and I stop myself. Everyone always insists that I finish. People even tend to get upset if I don't. Even when I assure them that it's something that should never be said and it was just an impulse. That I was right to fight it down and that I'm trying to be a good person.
The kid badgered me until finally I said it. "Because you're a cum pet! There ya happy ya little jizz goblin?!"......
Now he's mad that I would call him something so hurtful..... Bro... I didn't want to say it.... Sorry bout the 'jizz goblin' thing.
Tldr: it just kinda slipped out I called my 13 yr old kid a cum pet to his face.
Killb0t47: ROFL. That is honestly hilarious. He will probably be mad till he comes up with a good zinger. My mom and I would do that sometimes. But it doesn't hurt to make sure he is ok.
FeedTheWrongWolf: He's fine. He knows I love him. Knows it was just a joke.
Just likes having a reason to play mad.
Killb0t47: Cool beans. Be ready for a zinger when he figures it out then lol.
| 4 | 2.25 |
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1675137950 | 1675186820 | t3_10pnw12 | t5_2to41 | 20 | throwaway-tifu928: TIFU by texting my friend how I normally would
For context, I (M21) grew up in a friend group that was formed way before I was even born, with this I mean the parents of my friends and my parents were very close friends and most of our grandparents too. So this means my friends and I attended the same daycare, school and whatnot, but unlike our parents, when it was time to go to college 7/10 of us decided to move from our hometown.
Right now we're all in vacation so we returned home and I brought my girlfriend Sara (20F) with me so she could meet my friends and my family. Last friday we all hung out and had a really great time. Sara really liked my friends and they liked her too so I was very happy with how everything was going.
Now, what I'm about to tell you will probably make me look like an AH that deserves the worst but please, try to put yourself in my shoes before judging me. Me and my friends have this habit of texting each other as if we are in a relationship. For example:
A: Babe, when will you come? I miss u so much :(
B: Babyyyy, I'll be there next week! Let's hang out pleaseeee, I can't wait to see you <3
Why do we do that? well, i honestly can't remember but we think it's funny. We do this with the boys and the girls in our group so personally, I never thought it was a big deal until today. Two weeks ago I had a similar conversation with my friend Lila (21F) as the example I wrote above. We rarely text each other but i really wanted to know if she was gonna be here so we all could hang out with Sara.
Well, today Sara decided to go through my phone while I was taking a shower and she saw those messages. When I got out she was livid, she told me that she was gonna leave in that moment and that I was the biggest POS ever. I tried to explain to her that my friends and I are used to text like that and that i was definetly not cheating on her with Lila (even thinking something like that makes me nauseous, I mean, she's like my sister). I showed her the messages with my male friends so she could see that it wasn't something I did only with Lila but she didn't believe me, so I told her what could I do for her to believe me. She told me that I had to send Lila a message telling her to fuck off and proceed to block her from all my social media. I was stunned, I mean, I know Lila since I was born and now I had to do something like that? I tried talking to Sara but she started packing her bags while crying, so I accepted her request.
Lila texted one of our other friends and told him to tell me that she knows that my GF probably saw our chat and that she hopes Sara can understand the context behind those messages. She even offered to explain it to Sara herself but i don't think she will want to listen. I mean, I understand why Sara feels that way and for the first time ever I see that my group's way of texting may not be as harmless as we thought.
Sorry for any misspellings and mistakes I made, English is not my first language. Also, this is a throwaway and the names are changed for obvious reasons lol.
**TL;DR:** TIFU by texting my childhood friend (Lila) as I'd text my girlfriend. My actual GF (Sara) saw those messages and made me block Lila from all my social media, which can potentially mean that my friendship with Lila is over.
moomeymoo: Personally I don’t think you should have blocked Lila. I’ve been Sara and made similar demands once when I was her age and I’m my experience relationships where demands are made to start blocking friends of the opposite sex often don’t last - even if you accept all the demands. Jealousy and insecurity are not good foundations for a healthy relationship.
You should unblock her, and explain to Sara that she’s like a sister to you and you won’t be stopping talking to friends for her. If she leaves, then as hard as it will be, that’s probably for the best. Don’t lose yourself or your oldest friends for anyone.
throwaway-tifu928: Thank you so much for the advice. I think I'll wait a little bit to explain it better to Sara, I mean, now she's still very angry and emotional and I totally get her reaction, she doesn't know Lila very well and i understand why she would think that there's something between us.
I really wouldn't want to lose Sara though, she's such a nice girl and I feel that we have a great connection, so i don't know what to do. I know Lila wouldn't get mad whatever the outcome, she would want me to be happy even if that meant that she couldn't be my friend anymore
MangoTango4321: I mean if you were just using terms of endearment with Lila, Sara's reaction might have been more reasonable. And I can even understand why she initially didn't want to hear your justification and ignored your claims that you address all your friends as such.
But the fact that you, Lila, and your other friends were reaching out to provide tangible proof that you didn't have any such intentions with Lila, it's a little unreasonable for Sara to continue to be upset about this. It seems moreso to me that Sara is now insecure about your intimate friendship with another woman. She should recognize that at the end of the day those words are just words. What makes them affectionate is the sentiment behind them. And your sentiment is of love, but its not romantic. Its just platonic. Minus the word babe, your texts show no indication of romantic interest/cheating. So that begs the question, are you two really that connected/compatible if she can't respect your friendships nor no longer trust you?
(Your friends seem pretty great btw. I would definitely do everything I could to hang on to them if I were you :) )
throwaway-tifu928: I agree with you. I actually spoke to Sara this morning and told her everything about my friendship with Lila and my friend group in general. I even let her go through my phone so she could see everything she wanted and she saw my conversations with my male and female friends which are pretty similar to what she saw in my chat with Lila, but she seems to have a problem only with her. This seems pretty strange to me, and i asked her if she is jealous of Lila or something but she got mad at me and refused to explain why she's acting this way.
TBH i don't know what else to do, i brought Sara here so we could have a great time together and we have been fighting a lot (there were things that happened before this Lila situation and we solved them but Sara still gets mad at every little thing). We still have some days left before we return to college so i hope we can stop fighting and actually enjoy the trip
| 5 | 4 |
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1675138442 | 1675142236 | t3_10po3jc | t5_2to41 | 614 | [deleted]: TIFU by ripping my pants in the mall and accidentally flashing some kids
[deleted]
JimmiRustle: Pics or it didn’t happen. Welcome to the internet.
jakesnakex: Bro down bad
PM_ur_Rump: ::swats with newspaper::
| 4 | 153.5 |
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1673375163 | 1673379155 | t3_108gxwb | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: TIFU by spending all my money on my GF
[deleted]
acmecorporationusa: When do you start the college courses that cover writing composition; sentence structure; spelling and grammar?
VegetableGuarantee72: It's probably around the same time you get a life!
| 3 | 1 |
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1675144569 | 1675147945 | t3_10pq4sr | t5_2to41 | 252 | [deleted]: Knowing my mom she would wine and say “that’s not fair 😭” Lmfao
Gerald_Bostock_jt: Do it anyway. Teach them a lesson about stealing.
[deleted]: My sister would be the girl you tell this to do. I don’t think I could, even though I hope he stubs his toe everyday, I still wouldn’t do that.
ErinBLAMovich: You have to stand up for yourself in this world or everyone is going to take advantage of you. Hoping a literal thief "stubs his toe" but otherwise gets a free ride? That doesn't make you a more ethical person, it just makes you a doormat.
[deleted]: I mean, I just don’t think two wrong make a right. If someone does something bad to me, and then I do something bad to someone else, wouldn’t everyone just being doing terrible things to each other? I believe in revenge, but sometimes you have to break the cycle and be the bigger person. (Also pawning things requires an ID and you gotta be 18) 😂
United_Major_4264: I'm not saying you should actually take anything, but you can't steal what rightfully belongs to you. It's not wrong to stand up for yourself or take care of yourself. I sincerely hope you and your sister do what's best for yourselves, either way. Stay safe.
[deleted]: You’re right, I’m just really upset as well.
Popular_Spray_253: Do you have any aunts or uncles you can talk to that might be sympathetic?? You could even get a court order to go live with them instead. Just an idea.
[deleted]: None left, my grandparents live a few states away. I turn 17 in three weeks so then I’ll only have a year left
| 9 | 28 |
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1675147585 | 1675209183 | t3_10pr4lx | t5_2to41 | 336 | mooshgoosh: tifu by thinking that six inches would not fit down the toilet
Disclaimer: I am fully aware that my miscalculations were incredibly foolish.
This sequence of mistakes begins with me choosing to flick the bean midday, which was obviously already a questionable choice. In any case, I finished rather hastily without any complications, and began cleanup as per usual. Almost immediately after coming down, I realized that I had a violent need to piss, because I hadn't bothered to before I began clitar hero. Toys in hand, I scurried into the bathroom to drop them in the sink and sit on the toilet. Only, my dumbass decided to have a shit grip on them and I dropped my prized 6-inch silicone pleasure rod into the bowl. Whatever, I thought, I only need to piss, so I'll grab it while the toilet is flushing, so I get minimal toilet water on my hands - and this is where the worst of my mistakes began.
For some reason, I made the assumption that the little guy wasn't small enough to fit down the tube, and oh, sweet god, was I so wrong. The way that I stood up and flushed only to blankly watch that thing *schwoop* down the tube was the beginning of my downfall. That motherfucker was *gone,* dude. The water bubbled and gurgled a bit, a sure signal that my Spencer's blue-clear gradient dildo had clogged the toilet.
I stood there for a second, still pretty calm, like, "oh shit, I'll go get a rubber glove and just pull it out," except when I stuck my hand down yonder, *I couldn't feel a thing*.
After that, my situation really began to set in. Despite the bathroom being mostly my own, as a child in a family of five, someone was bound to come down to use my toilet at least once. And I had clogged it with a *dildo*. With there being no toilet paper floaties or weird particles, someone would get suspicious at some point. So, naturally, I began to freak out.
I spent the next hour scouring the ol' Google for something, *anything,* that would help my case. I stooped so low as to google the exact phrase "I flushed my dildo down the toilet help" and I actually did come across a similar (reddit, of course) situation, but it had no advice for my own.
Essentially, the only options I came down to having was A) a drain snake and B) completely removing the toilet from the floor altogether.
I tried to get that mf out with a drain snake and had no success. With growing panic, I weighed out my choices for plan B. I could either ask my dad for assistance because I've actually never dealt with toilet mechanics before, or I could disassemble my toilet myself, and by GOD I was not about to explain my situation to my highly strict and religious anti-sex father.
I don't believe in a God, but my circumstances had me telling him I'd never even jerk off again as long as I could get the stupid toy out and unclog my toilet.
After much finagling and girlbossing, I actually got my toilet taken apart just fine. In fact, it was shockingly easy. In any case, I dislodged the sad little dildo from the bottom of the pipe and chucked it in my shower while I reassembled my dumb toilet.
Suffice it all to say everything is fine and dandy now. If I were to give you any advice, don't assume your dildo can't fit down a toilet.
&#x200B;
tldr; i flushed a dildo down the toilet, thus clogging it and sending me into an existential panic.
edit: thank you to those who are laughing with me. please refrain from telling me to get a new seal, i already did.
RudeSprinkles1240: You're a 40 year old man, aren't you?
mooshgoosh: damn it guys you got me
RudeSprinkles1240: C'mon. You even called it "jerking off" at one point. It was a lame attempt.
mooshgoosh: thank you RudeSprinkles1240 for the speculation. unfortunately i couldn’t be bothered to come up with a better alternative for female masturbation
RudeSprinkles1240: Uh huh. Sure.
| 6 | 56 |
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1675151274 | 1675191611 | t3_10ps427 | t5_2to41 | 95 | [deleted]: TIFU by hooking up with a smoker
[deleted]
Wholesomeelijah: Dudes a creep. 32!??
Question_Few: Op is either a senior or fresh out of high school and he's 32 and been out a decade and some change
coffeebuzzbuzzz: She should still be in high school since it's only January. Unless she dropped out and got her GED. She's still technically high school age. Not sexy imo.
| 4 | 23.75 |
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1675153202 | 1675162100 | t3_10psn2d | t5_2to41 | 16,008 | AnonShirtboy: TIFU by asking my dad for a new sweatshirt
I guess I will begin this post. I’m a 16 year old boy. My dad is 37.
My dad, never graduated high school, he lived in a bad neighborhood and got in with a bad crowd. He would then spend a few years in prison.
At twenty one, my dad had me with my mom. My dad told me my mom abandoned me, when I tried reaching out to her (he advised me not to) she blocked me on Facebook.
At twenty-one, my dad had inherited his parents trailer and a bit of their land so we had a place to stay. Our trailer isn’t a lot, but it’s our home.
My dad, due to his criminal record, has to work for a construction company. He’s tried to climb up the ladder in the past years but his criminal record and lack of education stopped him from doing so.
I begged him to allow me to get a job but he got angry at me saying he wasn’t gonna have his own child providing for him.
My dad regrets his past, but he’s always told me he can’t change it. He’s been the best dad in the world, and I appreciate him so much. He never got into another relationship to take care of me. A part of me feels guilty because he stopped his entire life for me.
My dad doesn’t make much money, we have a lot of bills and he has some debts so we don’t have much wiggle room.
Last time I got brand new clothes was on my fifteenth birthday. My dad took me shopping at Walmart with his stimulus check. I got a bunch of clothes. However, I guess you could call me a late bloomer and I outgrew most of them. (Mainly the shirts because my shoulders broadened out and it began hurting and stretching my clothes) (I tried stealing some from the lost and found but none fit me)
When my dad got home, he made dinner and while we were eating and watching tv I asked him if we could buy a new sweatshirt or two.
He gets this really saddened look on his face, to sum up the conversation, he explained that we really didn’t have the money, and how we needed food. and he’d start putting aside some for a few months from now.
I got glum and disappointed and went to my room. I don’t blame my father for any of our troubles, he’s a great dad. I’m just frustrated at the situation.
That’s when I peaked my head out of my head room. My father was crying. I wanted to approach him and give him a hug but I’ve never been good with emotions that much. I’ve barely seen my father cry. I just went back to sleep.
My father had been hellbent on me staying in high school, and I’m a good student, I get mainly A’s, and I intend to go to college.
Tomorrow I’m gonna write my dad a note and leave it to him before I go to school. I’m still deciding what I’m gonna say cause I’m still crying a little, but here’s the jist.
Hey dad, I just wanna thank you for everything you’ve done for me and all the sacrifices you made. I promise when I’m making a lot of money after college, we’ll get out of this trailer, and move into a big house. You can have all the Xbox games you want and finally have the childhood that was taken from you. I understand that everything you’ve done was to give me the things you never had and I’m eternally grateful. Thank you for everything. I love you dad.
Edit 1: I can’t send messages due to the new account but just know I was trying to send everyone a Heart message and a thank you for the advice. The app says I’m not accepting dms bc a glitch. But for everyone who is giving advice I am reading ❤️
Edit 2: I will update, and I don’t think I’m gonna post a Amazon wishlist, it means a lot everyone is asking. ❤️ sorry guys trolls are downvoting everyone.
TLDR; I asked my dad when we’re financially struggling for some new clothes and seen him cry
Auphor_Phaksache: Your dad seems a little insecure about someone else providing for him. I'd use caution when writing a letter that says you intend to do exactly that.
AnonShirtboy: I didn’t think about this :(
treehouse_of_doom: Just tell him you love him, you appreciate everything he has done for you, and you’ll always be there for him the same way he has been for you.
AnonShirtboy: This is great advice ty, im a bit nervous though
treehouse_of_doom: Just do it. You’ll be glad you did. Me and my dad were best friends. Did everything together my whole life. He helped me build everything I have in life. I told him many times that I always appreciated what he did for me. He passed away back in September and had dementia the final months of his life. I’ll never feel like I told him enough. You’ve just gotta take a deep breath and say what you gotta say. He probably needs it. I’ve gotta say, I respect your drive and your mindset. If I could offer a piece of advice, help him if you can, and just do it for him. Once my parents got older, I started doing my best to look after them. If something around the house was broken, I just bought the parts and replaced it. “Hey dad, I fixed the faucet in the kitchen” He’d always come back with “ hey what do I owe ya”. I’d give him a hug and always tell him “you know you don’t owe me anything”, and I’d just carry on like it didn’t happen. I know they appreciated it. Mom would tell me “I don’t know what we’d do without you” after I’d get something sorted out. She told me that one day and I replied “you’d have to find another good lookin’ dude that works for free”. Cracked her up. You’d be surprised how some of the little things you do will lift a heavy burden.
AnonShirtboy: Yeah this is really good advice, I try to help my dad out as much as I can. My grandparents, (his parents) owned the trailer for thirty years beforehand so there’s a lot of work to keep it in nice condition.
treehouse_of_doom: You’re at a place in your life where you start being his equal as a man, but he’ll still be your dad, if that makes sense. You’ll be able to contribute with him without outright paying his way. I took residential construction classes in high school thinking I was going to build skateboard ramps for me and my friends. Turns out I learned how to do all kinds of stuff around the house. Saved my dad all kinds of money replacing the water heater myself and fixing leaky pipes. We worked on most of it together too.
| 8 | 2,001 |
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1673381157 | 1673483742 | t3_108jfg7 | t5_2to41 | 18 | laineDdednaHdeR: TIFU by passing gas.
This one is pretty short and simple. I was in the company break room during lunchtime. About half of the staff were taking their lunch as well.
I had my headphones on while watching youtube, and I had completely forgotten where I was. I could tell it was loud enough for others to hear. I did faintly hear one girl exclaim, "Oh my God!" But otherwise, nobody said a word to me, so I can't be completely certain that it was really audible.
I wanted to appear as nonchalant about it as I could, so I waited until my video was over just to give myself a few minutes of buffer between the detonation and subsequent fallout. Then I packed up my lunch and went outside for the rest of my break.
It's the tail-end of my lunch break now, and I don't really want to go back in.
TL;DR I farted at work, and pretty sure half the staff heard it.
hooter1112: Was it just sound or was it accompanied with a smell? Your in trouble now that everyone knows your scent.
laineDdednaHdeR: That was kind of another reason why I stayed a few extra minutes. I didn't really smell anything, so I got that going for me, which is nice.
Zippingzombie: No smell then it’s just funny, don’t worry about going back in. Own the fart… be .. the fart
| 4 | 4.5 |
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1675158482 | 1675165317 | t3_10pv0q4 | t5_2to41 | 272 | DefinetlyNotSara: TIFU by asking a coworker why doesn’t bring his dog anymore
My employer allows us to bring our dogs to workplace aslong as they’re well behaved and no one in the team has a fear of dogs or an allergy. So my coworker used to bring his big fluffy dog to work. He was always super friendly and got a lot of cuddles and treats from everyone. The last couple of weeks he stopped. Nothing unusual at first, since he doesn't bring him all the time (even though that makes everyone sad)
But after it was weeks since I last saw the dog I asked him today in a kinda joking matter why he never brings the dog anymore.
He turned silent and seemed really
uncomfortable. “I have bad news… The dog… died” I didn't know. I was an unsensitive prick. And have just teared up the wound of someone who lost a pet… I apologized immediately, feeling absolutely terrible.
But that didn’t help the awkward silence afterwards (which also lasted for the rest of the workday)
So yeah, that’s how I effed up today
TL;DR: I asked my coworker why he doesn’t bring his dog anymore, but I didn’t know it died.
JustinEbriated: Move on. Everything dies. Now, say, you accidentally ran over his dog and asked that question? THAT would make you an insensitive prick.
DefinetlyNotSara: I think you're right. He won't hold a grudge or something. Still could've user a different tone. He was already old an sick. I knew that. A little thinking before opening my mouth would have at least made me use a different tone or wording.
serendipity1330: Also, if he brought his dog in that much and everybody liked said dog, it would have been a good idea to share that information in a comfortable way for him to avoid conversations like that. You’re not in the wrong here.
That being said maybe if you find yourself in this weird scenario again try “hey it’s been a while since we’ve seen dog, is everything ok?”
| 4 | 68 |
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1673385657 | 1673388112 | t3_108ld4r | t5_2to41 | 104 | StygianBlueMario: TIFU by looking through a friend's phone at a sleepover
Context: this actually happened 5 years ago, but I think it's still a good TIFU story.
I was in middle school at the time and was having a sleepover with 6-7 friends. I think around midnight most of us started falling asleep, except for me and 2 other friends who I was the closest with out of the group.
Out of all the friends in the group, there was one kid who we'll call Daniel, and he was kind of the outcast, he would barely ever talk and he would kind of just hang around even if we tried to let him participate in our activities more, he would just kind of ignore us. Still, he was considered a welcome member of our group, we just figured he had his own problems going on.
One of my friends got the idea in his head that it would be a good idea to steal Daniel's phone while he was sleeping and look through it. Now, in my defense, I was adamantly against this at first, but we were teens and peer pressure is a strong force. Eventually, they convinced me and for some reason they wanted me to be the one who specifically did it, so I grabbed Daniel's phone without waking him up.
The first thing we looked at were his text messages. And let me tell you, there was some dark fucking stuff in there. His most recent conversation was with his grandma, in which he said things like
"help my mom is trying to kill herself" and "grandma you need to come over my mom is going crazy and I'm scared".
To his mom he had texted "mom I'm starving please buy me and my brother some fucking food instead of heroin you cunt".
Needless to say we were pretty shocked because Daniel rarely talked or told us about his life, and we had a vague idea that he had problems but this wasn't the kind of thing we imagined.
Now motivated less by a desire to fuck around and invade his privacy and more by a desire to understand him more, we continued our search through his phone. We checked his calls app and found that his most common call was to his grandma.
His second most common call was to 911.
In his camera roll was a bunch of edgy memes with references to suicide and random pictures of his house that look like they were taken in rapid succession and with a lot of shaking motion, and they were pretty blurry but it really didn't look very good what was going on this pictures.
Needless to say this really changed how we viewed Daniel, and honestly to this day I regret going along with this. However, I actually moved to another state shortly after this incident and haven't heard anything about him since.
Honestly I hope he's okay 5 years later. We're both turning 18 this year and hopefully he can get out of whatever shithole of a situation he had going on with his mom.
tl;dr 5 years ago at a sleepover me and my friends were fucking off and looked through a friends phone. Found out he had serious family issues and possibly abuse.
PinkSlipstitch: Is the fuck up that you didn't let an adult or school counselor know that Daniel was struggling at home and with suicidal thoughts?
Because you seem to think the fuck up is just going through the phone.
speculatrix: This, so very much this.
| 3 | 34.666667 |
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1675165880 | 1675167745 | t3_10px2q1 | t5_2to41 | 14 | [deleted]: TIFU by not learning how to stfu when I'm trying to get laid
[deleted]
geefunken: Jeez if you talk like you write I’m not even slightly surprised by whatever the fuck-up is that I couldn’t be bothered to read!
Omephla: Same, it took 10 seconds to get to the tl;dr and even by then I was too exhausted to read it.
DanMelb: Good lord, I thought it was just me!
| 4 | 3.5 |
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1673387309 | 1673413163 | t3_108m2sr | t5_2to41 | 51 | [deleted]: TIFU with my dream girl by calling her a spoiled bitch
[removed]
babyblu_e: Yes, she sounds like she’s secure in her boundaries and not willing to put up with people that disrespect her and make her uncomfortable. What you said was degrading and mean. Continuing to apologize and pester her when she is not interested in hearing you out is only going to make it worse.
If you can’t control your behavior while drunk/high you should abstain in the future. Take this as a learning lesson.
ekhfarharris: I feel like its her insecurity. She cant take a ribbing it seems.
BootsEX: She doesn’t have to fing take it. They’re not married, she doesn’t owe him the right to make her feel bad.
ekhfarharris: All the downvoters need to calm down. I didnt say she has to take it. I said she cant take it. Its my take on her reaction. No one is saying shes not cool or should play along or whatever. Its my opinion on why she cut off and run. Damn Reddit and overreaction.
| 5 | 10.2 |
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1673390292 | 1673390671 | t3_108ndpo | t5_2to41 | 58 | RadioactiveBrick420: TIFU bought a dildo for 200 bucks got hit with 200 bucks customs
So I'm and always was a very horny person, now 19 (F), last summer i discovered anal penetration and honestly got fucking hooked, it was so great i started inserting all kinds of things, there was only one problem tho, toys, mostly my toys were things in the house rapped with plastic wrap and it scratched my bum even with thick water based lube. This year i decided to get my first dildo because of my first paycheck as a programmer. I searched around and around i wanted something with a knot no realistic human colors no dick shape, i wanted something other worldly. Well what do you know the web introduced my to multiple sites filled with great toys even on etsy it was filled, only issue was choosing the ding dong. I went for a hankey's toys one the kinky cobra as it checked out my whole wants list and was better than a design i saw on etsy, got the large one and that added to 200EUR (yes i live in europe) that meant i had to pay the price of the toy + shipping and then also customs and tax. I started tracking the package legitimately being wet just thinking of that thing inside me, but me dreams were cut short today when while working i got notified that it arrived and its ready for clearance but it needs some documents, of course i gave them the documents as i could wait to use it tomorrow and i did calculate the customs+tax on a website and it would be around 65EUR and i also counted lets say extra 20-30 bucks for the transportation. Well the guy takes all the documents and sends me an email after like two hours.
Guess what i saw ? a bill saying i need to pay 187EUR for it to be cleared 88 being the tax,customs and plane transportation cost, but if you make the math you see that 99EUR are missing, what are those you say ? well its 55EUR xmas gift for the employee that processed 2 emails and 13.20 for the gift tax 25EUR for the office and 6EUR for the office tax. So funny enough i would pay the value of the dildo just for it to clear the customs. i send them a message 2 hours before closure time that i don't want it who the fuck pays 400EUR for a dildo, were i live 400EUR is like what is left over paying bills, food and clothes with a middle class salary. I should have seen this coming. And best of all is that i still have to pay 25EUR + tax and also for its storage meaning in total 60EUR so i can say i spend half my months money on a product that i cant even keep, this year is just starting off amazingly. I guess finger will have to do the trick until i move to the US.
TL;DR: Bought a dildo with half my months salary but didnt get it in the end because the customs were the same amount as the item itself.
RosieQParker: Welp, you didn't get the dildo but you sure got fucked in the ass.
RadioactiveBrick420: haha, that is true, yes.
| 3 | 19.333333 |
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1675177740 | 1675202100 | t3_10q1evk | t5_2to41 | 1,342 | Sayomi_Koneko: tifu by labeling something with my initials
tifu by labeling something with my initials at work
Last week we had our regional manager come in to inspect the store and make sure everything is in order. One of the things he checks is the labels on our totes to make sure they're appropriate.
From what *several* people have told me (I was off during the inspection) the regional was going through our warehouse checking labels and came across one of the boxes I labeled. Everything in the box was glue and tape so I named it "sticky" and put my initials after as we are requiredto do. It read "sticky jz". Regional was NOT happy and rips the page off the tote and storms into my managers office, slapped down the paper and asked what was wrong with the page to which my store manager replied "nothing". regional starts yelling about it being labeled "sticky jizz" and everyone except our manager had walked away to contain their laughter. Apparently you could hear him yelling "sticky jizz" in the warehouse and possibly through the store. Manager man told him my name and told him to look in the box as its labeled appropriately and regional turned red and went to put it back on the box.
I come in the next day and my direct manager asks me if I want to be yelled at now or later. I told him "why not all the time?" since that's just how we interact with eachother jokingly. He walked me over to my tote trying to keep a straight face and once we got there he told me the story and I nearly burst into tears it was so fucking funny.
Everyone got a wonderful laugh and regional became a little more humanized as he was just viewed as a boss.
Tldr - regional came to inspect store and saw my box named "sticky jz" and he started yelling. Manager had to tell him my name and whats in the box
Eta: most of us make puns on the boxes or reference songs.
Drilling? Drilling in the name of
Safety? Safety dance
Electric? It's Electric, Pikachu, or zap
Sockets? Sock it to me
I did accidentally type "sock" instead of sockets so it read "sock jz" and my coworker found that one lol
pilken: I once was told that I had to use my "proper" initials - - - say my name is "William Stewart" but I go by Bill - I had put BS on everything I inspected that was not working at work and was told I was being "vulgar".
note: Not Working - BS
laughatbridget: I'm also a BS, I always include my middle initial to avoid it.
pilken: If I put WJS no one on staff would have a clue who inspected it.
If I put BJS I might get fired - - -
rashman6969: My grandmother has a monogrammed purse with her initials…F A G
MakionGarvinus: Freaking
Aweaome
Grandma!
| 6 | 223.666667 |
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1675178908 | 1675179462 | t3_10q1whv | t5_2to41 | 7 | [deleted]: TIFU by being too eager and ended up with a lingerie injury.
[deleted]
FirebladeCBR1000RR: I thought you misspelled "lingering"
PinEffective2071: This
| 3 | 2.333333 |
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1673394312 | 1673446054 | t3_108p421 | t5_2to41 | 3,616 | dogcopter9: TIFU by letting my daughter's friend break a toy.
My 10 year old daughter had another 10 year old friend over. They both like the game "Five Nights at Freddy's" and talk about it constantly. At some point the girls emerge from my daughter's room holding a bear. I can tell it has a talk box in it because of the way it is being held.
They both start heading outside saying "we are going to beat up this creepy bear". I stopped them and asked them to clarify if that was really going to be ok. The friend said that it was creepy and she didn't like it anymore.
Good enough for me! "Have fun!" I call as they disappear or the front door.
At one point, I looked out and they were trying to ramp a scooter across it. They were throwing it back and forth. It looked like they had fun.
Of course it broke and I told them to throw it away if they were done with it
They had a lot of fun and then the friend went home. I'm feeling good about how it went and hoping that my daughter and her remain good friends. I'm recently divorced and this was the first visit for her in my new home.
I got a text from the mom laying into me just now. That was an original 1985 Teddy Ruxbin worth a couple hundred on eBay. She's asking me to help pay for a new one. I went from feeling good about the visit to feeling terrible in about 0.4 seconds.
The icing was that the mom vowed to not let the friend back at my house ever again.
TLDR: I let my daughters friend bring her Teddy Ruxbin over and ruin it in front of me. Now her mom is pissed and wants me to pay for a new one.
ETA: I am seeing now that these things were not as expensive as the mom suggested they were. Which is relieving. Also, yes it was the friend's toy; she had brought it over.
UPDATE: The mother wasn't going for anything out of box. She cited bedbugs and smoking... Whatever. There's one in box she wants to buy for $112. I agreed to half of it... And apparently the other half will come out of the girl's Christmas money😢.
It was a gift from an Aunt and has some value in that way for some reasons that I'm not clear on.
You all have been kind suggesting it's the mother's fu, but after a lot of thinking it, it's still mine. Every 10 year old is going to have a different maturity level and responsibility. To be concise I fucked up by assuming she knew the valuation of her own toy, which I can't assume.
One thing that made it hard was that my ex-wife has already vouched for me to this mom who was hesitant to send her child to my house to begin with. It was a test I did poorly on.
Oh well, live and learn... The important part is learn so living will continue to get better.
MrPickles86: Tell the fucking idiot mom not to let her 10 year old out of the house with an expensive collectors item.
dogcopter9: Lol Yeah... But I'm trying to save their friendship. How would I say this tactfully?
wildadragon: Tell her if it was so valuable then her 10 yr old shouldn't have had access to it, nor been able to leave the house with it. In fact she left the house with it under her watch, and her daughter is the one who also broke it. As for Ebay well in this condition I doubt it's worth hundreds.
Edit also not your fuck up
anjie59k: The girl could have taken it without her mom's permission
wildadragon: The parent didn't walk their daughter to the other kids house I mean it's a 10 year old girl, didn't check what the kid was bringing? Clearly the parent isn't very attentive.
Snizl: Why would you check what they pack into their backpack? sounds a little controlling if you dont have any suspicions already. And depending in the distance a 10 year old kid very much can walk on their own.
kendonmcb: So the other girls mom is controlling if she checks what her own daughter brings to someone elses house, but OP is responsible for it? Interesting logic.
Snizl: I never claimed OP was responsible for it.
kendonmcb: No, but you implied it.
Snizl: I did no such thing. No.
| 11 | 328.727273 |
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1675179204 | 1675201814 | t3_10q210q | t5_2to41 | 575 | fauxfurgopher: TIFU by suggesting a name for our new kitten
Our beloved grey cat, Greyson, died last year. He was a wonderful cat. He was closest to my daughter, so when a friend of hers offered her a grey kitten we all welcomed him. Because Greyson had been named due to his color I threw out the first name that sprung to mind — Earl Grey, for the kitten. My daughter LOVED it and named him that before he even arrived. As soon as I said it I realized that calling a cat “Earl” would be difficult for me, but I didn’t realize how my my daughter loved the name. I suggested a bunch of other names, but she was firm that Earl Grey is his name. Since she’d suffered the most at the loss of Greyson, I feel like we need to let her choose his name so she can bond with him. Greyson’s emotional support was very good for her and I want her to have that with the new cat. So now I’m stuck calling this kitten Earl and I hate it. Daughter says I should just make up a nickname and call him that instead, but I want him to know his name.
Any suggestions for nicknames that sound enough like Earl that he won’t be too confused?
TL;DR - I suggested a name for a kitten that I don’t even like. Now I’m stuck calling an adorable kitten “Earl.” :/
eatshitake: What's wrong with Earl?
fauxfurgopher: It doesn’t roll off the tongue at all. The rl combo is taxing to me. Also, I knew an Earl once. I didn’t like him.
eatshitake: Call him Early.
sunislow: thats what all the ladies call me ;)
eatshitake: Bless your heart.
| 6 | 95.833333 |
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1675180805 | 1675181791 | t3_10q2og7 | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU by being scammed and 4 times by callgirl and blackmailed
[deleted]
FlyGuy_2000: Couldn't make out 50% of what you said, but it's a SCAM. Tell them you will contact vice if they keep harassing you.
Specsaman: you mean their vice manager ? theyre even saying that their involved the police in this
FlyGuy_2000: Tell them you will call rhe police vice squad. Don't worry about these scammers.
| 4 | 1.25 |
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1673396329 | 1673397595 | t3_108pyau | t5_2to41 | 13 | [deleted]: TIFU by falling for a scam on my gaming account.
[deleted]
jacobs0n: this scam is a tale as old as time. at least now you've learned your lesson and hopefully avoid getting scammed in the future
Pretty-Crzy: I did learn my lesson, thanks for reading :)
| 3 | 4.333333 |
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1673397264 | 1673409355 | t3_108qbn6 | t5_2to41 | 13 | Large-Promotion-3182: TIFU: Garlic pains
Today I fucked up
Well, currently two days ago I decided that I wanted to try a gimmick where I swallowed garlic like a pill, and I don’t like eating vegetables. I just hate the taste, especially broccoli, and I decided to take one clove or one piece of garlic and swallow it like a pill here is where I made the wrong decision, I took a cup of water and put it in my mouth added water again, and the first swallow almost made me choke on it since it was stuck in my throat with the second gulp went down, but I could feel it go down my esophagus all the way to my stomach. It was that big talk about don’t bite off more than you can chew, in this case, I did not chew. so it’s been about a day and the start of a new day the origin of the time that I swallowed this big ass pill was around nine in the evening and currently it is 11:23am the following second day I could feel it passing through my small intestine, the whole way, and into my big intestine feels like period pains. As I am writing this, it pains my stomach at every turn.
And to add insult to injury I did not listen to my parents a.k.a. my dad he told me to crush it up and then swallow it, but I did not listen same result with my girlfriend I did not listen to her, so I feel really dumb right now but also in pain sitting down standing or laying down all hurt and I can’t do them too quickly
Sorry, if this story is a bit all over the place I have ADHD, and it is difficult to talk properly.
And on the second day, I searched up how long it takes for something to pass through your system on Google and the results came in as 7 to 8 hours to get through your stomach and small intestine yet it takes 36 hours to get through your large intestine or colon. And the pain is unbearable sometimes out forget that I have the pain but only briefly.
I’d ask for help, but there’s no help that can be supplied.
P.s
TL;DR I am not sure what this rule means. I do not mean to break any rules
apolychr: TLDR = Too Long Didn’t Read.
Yours would be.
TLDR = I didn’t listen to anyone suggesting to crush the garlic clove before eating it. Now I’m in pain cause I swalled it whole.
PS. Maybe you’re a vampire
Large-Promotion-3182: XD perhaps I am a vampire
Majestic-Scale-1868: Rip hopefully no intestinal tear
Large-Promotion-3182: Yes hoping, cuz I had a friend who’s brother died of a twisted intestine, during Covid
| 5 | 2.6 |
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1673396672 | 1673459265 | t3_108q35p | t5_2to41 | 173 | thebeckyblue: TIFU by Saving My Partner From a Home Intruder
I didn’t actually fuck up, my partner did, let’s call him Jimbo, and this happened a couple years ago.
We were dead asleep at 2 am and I woke to a dark figure standing above me. This is a common occurrence for me, as I have a sleep disorder called sleep paralysis. I occasionally wake up unable to speak or move anything but my eyes. Often, I will see black shadowy figures moving around me or towards me during an episode. Every time it is initially jarring and in attempts to get out of that strange state, I try to use my voice, wiggle my fingers or toes and then my extremities to try snap out of it. There have been times that I have immediate control of my voice and will whimper or scream in terror seeing the dark figures above me. This was alarming for Jimbo when he and I first started sleeping in the same bed. By now though, he is pretty used to my sleep paralysis and has helped me snap out of it quicker if he recognizes I am having an episode.
Well let’s get back to that shadow looming near the side of my bed. When I woke, I immediately had the use of my voice and let out an audible yelp. My loud yelp woke Jimbo abruptly and he started screaming. He was terrified as he could now see my sleep paralysis dark shadows come to life, or possibly an intruder? It wasn’t clear for him.
In an attempt to save my life he jumps out of the bed and grabs the first object he could get, a tall metal wired laundry basket. Racing over to the side of my bed he raises the laundry basket above his head screaming louder than I have ever heard that man scream and struggles to beat up the intruder, who is cowering on the floor.
Jimbo, I would have to argue, has this magic ability to operate while sleeping. I liken it to a dream one has, where you think you got ready for the day and woke up to find out you haven’t done shit. He on the other hand, at times will gets things done in his sleep. If a kid needs help or I need something, he will do it and sometimes has a vague memory of doing it the following morning.
All of us are yelling at the top of our simultaneously and we can’t hear what the other is saying. At some point the intruder and I start yelling in unison…. JIMBO, JIMBO, STOP, JIMBO ITS (ME) BOBO, STOOOPPP! But his echoing war cries of AAAAAARRGGGHHH, AARRGGAH, AAAAHHHHHH, overpowered our screams.
During the attempted laundry basket bludgeoning, I am awkwardly positioned on our bed with a leg and arm extended out blocking the hits. It was clear Jimbo was in this in-between state, not fully are of what was going on. Trying to convince this 6’2’’ delusional man that the 4’ nothing child was not a threat, seemed insurmountable.
In between the struggled bashings, I tried to push him back, but my first attempt wasn’t forceful enough. Finally, I got the footing I needed to Chuck Norris his ass away from us. I kicked him directly in the gut and the laundry basket went flying across the bed as he stumbled backwards.
Complete and utter confusion registered on his face followed by intense remorse. He now realized what was going on. Our kiddo was on the floor, crying with another child standing at the door crying, the rest of our kids were fast asleep, none the wiser that anything had occurred.
After we confirmed that Bobo didn't get hit by the basket we consoled both the kids, and Jimbo profusely apologized we took Bobo downstairs to get some medicine for his headache.
After sending the kids to bed I stood in our kitchen and looked at the welts forming on my arm and leg and thought I should take some pain reliver for after the adrenaline wears off and the pain kicks in. But the rush from the adrenaline seemed to be too much for me. I ended becoming very faint and what felt like my blood pressure and or heart rate were dropping drastically I ended up laying on the floor in fear of passing out and hurting myself.
Jimbo came to help me stand after several failed attempts at getting up on my own. He carried me over to our living room couch and on the way over my body started to convulse. ‘Are you okay, can you hear me’ he kept asking, but I was not able to form a response. After a minute or two my heart rate seemed to stabilize, and I was able to talk again.
I probably should have gone to the ER after that, but I chalked it up to the stress of the situation. I called my doctor the next day they sent me to the ER anyway where I spent most of day getting tests to make sure everything was alright, and it was.
TLDR; My partner fucked up by try so save me from an intruder that was actual our kid needing medicine. He ended up bruising the shit out of my arm and leg with a wired laundry basket, his weapon of choice, and landing me in the ER from the stress of it all.
ggouge: If i could count the amount of times my kids have scared the shit out of me in my sleep..... I have never attempted to bludgen them though lol. I have screamed and yelled who the fuck are you. Only to realise its my 9 year old telling me my 5 year old pukes in her bed. That happened last weekend. My kids have little hand held lamps for walking in thr dark and ita kinda scary to wake up to a underlit face. Like i am about to be sacrificed.
Really you should be kinda happy how much he wanted to save you.
St3phiroth: Kids are creepy AF when you've been dead asleep. My 3yo woke me up a few weeks ago wearing an Iron Man mask, and I screamed so loud that the whole house woke up.
thebeckyblue: Your kid holds a special place in my heart. That's funny AF!
St3phiroth: She is such a character for sure! We laughed a lot after I realized I wasn't being murdered in my sleep.
| 5 | 34.6 |
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1673695865 | 1673841724 | t3_10bmdm5 | t5_2to41 | 47 | __Jacky-Boy__: TIFU by having zero rizz
So earlier today I was looking at some old conversations I was having back when voice was as high as snoop, when I stumbled across a convo with an old acquaintance. I started to read it through and it was IMMEDIATELY clear to older me that she was hitting on me. Not subtle hints either, full on "haha your so funny you should be a comedian" and "so who do you like?". Clearly, I have an anti-rizz forcefield around me as lil old me was riding this convo just like any other while my friend was trying her fucking hardest to confess.
Worst thing? If she had asked, I would 1000% have said yes but I had absolutely 0 clue she was into me. We went to her dad's farm at one point and went cycling and that was the one time I thought maybe but I didn't act on it because she was my friend.
And to prove that my anti-rizz barrier still exists, we were texting the other day when she sent me a pic of her getting ready for work. I responded continuing on the convo as normal. When I left my friends know about this revalation, they called me every word in the dictionary and informed me that I was sopposed to complement her outfit and her. So not only I oblivious to hints in the past, I still suck and this is years later.
Thanks for reading, and happy cringing!
TL:DR A girl confessed her heart out to me and I completely ignored it.
kaosi_schain: The fuck is "rizz"?
__Jacky-Boy__: It's a new saying that's popular, but its like charisma for pulling I think?
allthefearandnoidea: Blimey. Tell me I’m old without telling me I’m old
__Jacky-Boy__: I normaly wouldn't use such terminology but apparently it is the new norm?
missxmonstera: I have two freshman sisters - one high school and one college. I have never heard this word in my life.
DistinctRide7806: i have
| 7 | 6.714286 |
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1673401250 | 1673408873 | t3_108ru15 | t5_2to41 | 36 | Emsquadd: TIFU by eating gummy bears
Yesterday I was craving something sweet and proceeded to share the 6.75oz bag of gummy bears with my boyfriend.
Fast forward to this evening..I am cooking dinner when all of a sudden I get these unbearable cramps in my mid to lower abdomen. I power through it and keep cooking. The cramping is slowly getting more intense and feels like it’s coming in waves.
The next wave I find myself becoming overheated and feeling nauseous. I take a seat. It passes. I finish dinner and run to the bathroom. I can feel something coming. At this point my clothes are completely off and I’m sweating from every pore on my body. So much perspiration that I felt like I was going to fall off the toilet seat. Nothing happens though. Just more intense cramps that feel they have no end, my entire body temp is raised and glistening.
Now I am laying on the bathroom floor, texting my boyfriend about the situation. Telling him not to come into the bathroom when he gets home.
Then a build up of pressure. I managed with no other option to go back to the toilet and something finally happened. Not a good something. A painful release. I don’t even want to look. I just flush. I’m terrified to move at this point and the bathroom door flies open. My boyfriend has this worried look asking if I need to go to the hospital.
I am so embarrassed, I just shake my head no and say “I think it’s over now.” He laughed and told me it was probably the gummy bears.
A short google search has now made me vow to never eat gummy bears again.
TL;DR I ate gummy bears, felt like I was dying and basically pooped in front of my boyfriend.
[deleted]: Was it the sugar free?
TroublemakingB: That's exactly what I was wondering. Those sugar free ones are known to horribly alter your regular digestive process.
icefire555: Last time I got them someone mentioned that to me. And 3 handfuls in I googled it and stopped eating. It still hit me like a brick.
TroublemakingB: I hear it's bad. I don't eat sugar free candy often but even a couple of pieces gives my tummy the rumblies.
| 5 | 7.2 |
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1675189243 | 1675190080 | t3_10q6b7f | t5_2to41 | 90 | Dinobrothers: TIFU by letting my brother meet my gf
TIFU by letting my brother meet my girlfriend.
I'm 28 and my brother is 32, we both look very young tho. Especially me who still gets i.d at gas stations who usually don't give AF. Well anyway, I invited her over and had intentions to be private in my room (we share an apartment.) I didn't tell my brother I was having company and she came by Uber. So he comes busting in the door with his shirt off and looking for his airpods that he let me borrow for work. Before I could even say anything him and her have already introduced themselves and she's just staring at my brother's chest and that shit really struck with me. Because I remember vividly her looking at his chest then up at him and back again and my brothers acting all nice and shit saying he didn't mean to bust in like that and just in my opinion trying to talk to her. Because what's understood doesn't need to be explained you know? Just get your shit and get out. So when he leaves the room she starts asking if the challenger outside was his. Random question that I still don't understand why she would ask that if she knows it's not mine. My brother has always been the typical bad boy pro type, with tattoos, muscle car, juvenile record and a body count only chuck Norris could count. I've always been the nice guy proto type. And my brother already crossed this line with 2! Other women I had in my past. And I told them both how it would end up and it went exactly like that. Because my brother isn't made for love. He just wants sex and I actually wanted more for them. Well now my brother and her are going to the dealership tomorrow for her to get a new car, I'll be at work and I don't feel comfortable anymore because I don't like how she looked at him the way she did. She acted submissive immediately to him like she does her teachers or boss or something and it's pissing me off!!!
TL;DR brother met my girlfriend and now they are going to be together while I'm at work.
Edit: I vow to listen to reddit from now on. Any girl who tells me not to take reddits opinions is just a red flag to me. My brother came back bragging about how he and her were busy In my room while I was at work.
all__my_S0rr0w: Dude, you gotta talk with your brother
Dinobrothers: Yea, and he says that's between me and her
Meso_Thelioma: Ok then your brother is terrible and you should move out. If you truly think he's gunna fuck her while youre gone, you probably shouldnt be around him.
| 4 | 22.5 |
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1673403605 | 1673407559 | t3_108sq8n | t5_2to41 | 13 | ArthroMan: TIFU by ruining something fun for my uncle
I love my uncle to death he's like a second father to me and is my best friend. The other week we were splitting wood and after we were done he showed me a fancy axe he had (chopper1). He was so proud of it and excited to show me it cut through logs like butter, but long story short he was telling me about how he thinks he they don't make them anymore and how he bought the axe head off eBay for $100 and restored it. Today I showed him they do still make them and he seemed disappointed and asked me to make they weren't restored old ones. Don't get me wrong he got it for a better price and the older ones are probably better. He likes showing me this stuff like a kid would show his friend a new console they got for Christmas. I feel bad cause he thrives for moments like these with family and I feel like he hasn't gotten any recently.
TLDR: I showed my uncle that his cool axe that he thought wasn't made anymore hasn't stopped being produced and he seemed disappointed so I feel bad.
UPDATE: I found out and informed him they did stop making them in 1989 but just recently pretty much lent their patent out to a company in NJ who sells them now. Showed him a video. We joked how the new ones were probably crappy and that we were glad he got an older one.
HarleySpicedLatte: Come up with something about them being vintage. I'm sure you can find collectors somehow. Try finding something where they compare vintage with newer and the value of such a restored item .
Idk anything about these axes but there are ppl that collect and such
ArthroMan: I looked it up and turns out they did stop making them in 1989 but they just recently started back up again (2020). I'm a bit more relieved and will mention it tomorrow.
icon58: I'm betting the metal is better in 89
ArthroMan: Yeah I was thinking that aswell
| 5 | 2.6 |
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1675169163 | 1675207315 | t3_10py4s0 | t5_2to41 | 23 | HaveAMorcelOfMyMind: TIFU by loudly calling my teacher by the wrong name, but it gets worse
Today, I (22m) embarrassed myself pretty bad.
All the events in the story take place in the last 24 hours, however to understand why i must back up to a few weeks ago.
There is this refugee me and my SO have been helping out. My SO suffers from chronic health issues, so when we found out the refugee was making a living as a cleaner, we were like perfect, you're hired. What we did not realize was that she would rearrange all the furniture in order to deeeep clean. At first we were like "nooo" until we saw all the crap she was picking up, then we were like "meh".
Fast forward to 2 nights ago, things are heating up in the bedroom. At some point, my wifes eyes go wide, to which i'm telling myself "great job buddy" until she says "honey, we forgot to close the curtains and the neighbour is watching".
Previously we never had to worry about this because of the way the bed used to be positioned in the bedroom. My wife makes eye contact with the neighbour, and guess what.
Does he look away awkwardly and close his curtains as a decent neighbour would? Nope, he shuts those lights down all while spreading those curtains nice and wide for optimal viewing WHILE MAINTAINING EYE CONTACT.
I quickly shut the curtains and we end the night there. First FU of the day.
I'm pretty tired the following day from thinking of my neighbors reaction and all the stories i read on reddit where this sort of thing escalated. It was a rough school day, back to back classes from 8-5. I arrive to my last class for the day and notice a few students in the room. I take my seat and notice my teacher having tech problems with the huge projector in the room (its a film class, projector and sound system becomes relevant later).
As i'm taking my seat in the front row, my teacher looks to me and says good morning (my name). I look to him and say "hey, good morning john, how are you?". I get a weird reaction from him, however he is hard of hearing so i just chalk it up to he didnt hear me. More students walk in. Then it hits me.
His name is Pete. He looks to me again, so seeking to redeem myself for my mistake i say super loudly so he can hear "i dont know why i called you john, sorry Pete". The students hear. He doesnt. Second FU.
He approaches me and we make some small talk moving past the issue. He says "hey, there is just 5 minutes left before class, lets play a music video. Which song do you like". I'm thinking, i almost dont mention anything until i think of a wholesome rock song i'm sure the teacher will approve of. I quickly shout "the middle by jimmy eats world", i love those lyrics about being okay with yourself and the guitar is amazing, as is the singer's voice.
Content with myself i start pulling out notes, sorting papers and such while happily mouthing the words to the song. At some point I look up.
The video to this song is not wholesome. It is a bunch of teenagers at a frat party making out and taking off their clothes.
By this time i'm so tired and shocked that i keep my head down and wait out the song blaring from professional speakers and projected onto a massive screen for all the students to watch. When its finally over, i'm very anxious to move on.
The teacher approaches me now in a full classroom and says "so what is this song about, why are there all those people getting naked?". I mumble something about lyrics being good and the video being a poor representation, at that point embarassed beyond belief since the entire classroom knows i was the suggestor.
TL:DR Got spicy with my SO without checking the curtains were closed and discovered my neighbor is a perv, called my teacher by the wrong name and suggested a good song with a video full of people getting naked to be played on a massive projector for the class to see.
jinbtown: good news is, bad things come in threes so you're all set! :P
HaveAMorcelOfMyMind: May begin to believe in this after the previous events transpired
| 3 | 7.666667 |
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1675189329 | 1675191904 | t3_10q6cmy | t5_2to41 | 2 | NicoleSt4rr: TIFU by completely humiliating myself on a PLANE!!!
Id like to start off by saying I wont be sharing any ages in this story.
This happened a few years back but it’s still so humiliating that I have to share my shame
I (F) used to have a boyfriend (obv M) of 2 years, we both shared the passion of traveling.
So soon enough we decided, FINALLY to travel together. A week in Venice was enough to
satisfy. Everything went well, except the plane ride home… my boyfriend and I could not
seem to find economy seats that were next to each other (we couldn’t afford anything
business) my boyfriend was sitting directly behind me, and I was aware of that, or at least
I hope I was… I wanted to tease him by pushing my seat back all the way down (as down
as it can go) and screaming “CHEESE ATTACK” in the most corny/cheesy way possible,
I was looking for something we could laugh about the ride home together. Wrong thinking,
I indeed did follow thru with the plan, I heard laughter and just thought my boyfriend had
caught on what I was about to do, except it wasn’t my boyfriend in the seat it was an old
man (for context, my boyfriend switched seats as the old man wanted to be in the aisle seat
so he could comfortably move back and forth to the bathroom without my boyfriend having
to get up) he was clearly so horrified by what I had just done, this man could be in his 80’s
and thankfully he left that plane alive, horrified but alive. The poor man excused himself
from his seat and later on we found out he had switched seats… I am in utter embarrassment
to this day.
TL;DR : Pranking my boyfriend went awfully wrong and instead I pranked an old man
maybe causing him to never sit infront of something every again .
Mr007McDiddles: Pranks on a plan, what could wrong.
WTH is a cheese attack?
NicoleSt4rr: Me and my old boyfriend used to love cheese and whenever we bought cheese we would frantically scream “CHEESE ATTACK” so it was a bit of an inside joke?
| 3 | 0.666667 |
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1675191816 | 1675200385 | t3_10q7ey2 | t5_2to41 | 1,598 | [deleted]: TIFU by introducing my desperate friend to a girl
[deleted]
oJRODo: Okay but is she 18 and in high school? 20 and 18 are not much different. 17 is beginning to be sketchy and anything below 17 is definitely a No.
handful_of_frogs: She's 17
oJRODo: Reddit users are super weird about these kind of topics so im expecting -100 votes. However, 17 is legal in my state (with consent of course) and I personally wouldn't find it weird for a 20 and 17 year old to date/talk.
handful_of_frogs: Yeah, it's all about your own morallity. I personally find it extremely concerning and off-putting
Redbeard4006: Really? It's fine in a few months, but off-putting now? It's a grey area I guess, but not a huge deal IMO for a 20yo.
SeveralLargeLizards: When I was 17, I had no serious dating experience and had never had sex. 3 years isn't a massive gap, but a lot can also happen in 3 years. There's almost always gonna be an experience gap there.
A dude specifically looking for an 17-18 year old girl is *absolutely* concerning. Because this tends to be a tactic of very unsavory people that like to be a first serious relationship for a person, so they can easily control them. With little to no serious relationship experience, a young girl is a very easy target for a bad person.
So it depends on the context. OP's friend isn't looking to date someone that young. That's okay. He's allowed to have that boundary. He could also be okay with it and be extra careful and respectful of a less experienced partner, and that would be fine too! But if OP's friend wanted *specifically* that age group, even as he aged, I'd be fuckin wondering.
Anyone older specifically sticking to the "brand new adult" category weirds me out intensely, to be honest.
Redbeard4006: Oh, of course. A 20yo who is only interested in dating people under 18 is a very different prospect. The individuals involved matter. I just don't think it is creepy across the board just because one person is under 18 and one person is over.
| 8 | 199.75 |
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1675191525 | 1675208904 | t3_10q7ad7 | t5_2to41 | 186 | Cutecat42: TIFU by most likely having diabetes for years without knowing
So I'm obese. Typical American, right? I blame childhood trauma and PTSD. But for the past 5 years or so, I've been trying to heal myself, so I don't turn to comfort food as much. I've also been trying to lose weight.
I've been trying to lose weight for most of my life. I try diets and when I don't get anywhere after a few months (or I get really bad depression because of a flareup), I stop caring and the few pounds I managed to lose come back (along with a few more).
This latest round of trying to lose weight, I'm doing it with my boyfriend. We've been going to the gym 4 times a week (every now and then we skip), and I'm eating 1900 calories a day (which should make me lose 2 pounds a week according to all the different articles about calorie deficits). He's lost 30 pounds while I've lost 10. I know men are different and I shouldn't compare, but I was getting extremely unmotivated because the scale hasn't moved for over a month and a half.
He suggested I go see a doctor, and when I did so, they had me take a blood test after fasting for 12-ish hours. I just got the results back. My Glucose is 138 and Insulin is 43. (I also have a high Bun and regular Creatinine, which according to Google means I'm dehydrated.)
Google is my God (jk), so I looked at quite a few articles about glucose/insulin, and what normal numbers are. Apparently if glucose is over 126, that means diabetes (between 100 and 125 is pre-diabetes). And normal insulin is 2-20. High insulin can mean quite a few things, including insulin resistance, obesity, and Type 2 Diabetes. One thing I know for sure about high insulin, though, it increases weight gain.
I haven't yet talked to my doctor about the results, so it's possible Google has steered me wrong. But I highly doubt it. I don't really have any symptoms of diabetes, so it's kinda blowing my mind.
TL:DR; I've been trying to lose weight for years without success. Recent test results show I'm diabetic and have high insulin (which causes weight gain).
blahbleh112233: You can gain insulin resistance by overwhelming your body with food and drinks, which is likely what happened if you have been overweight for a while. That's not fully permanent and can go down through general weight loss and watching sugar intake.
This may come off as harsh but as someone who went through the same thing you did, I have to ask if you are taking account your BMR when you are doing calorie deficit calculations. What are you doing at the gym? Weight training is good but fat loss is also largely a cardio game too at the end of the day and that means putting some effort into it.
Also, are you sure you're eating healthy and/or actually at 1900 calories? Unless you are weighing/cooking everything yourself, there's a decent chance you are undercounting the calories you eat since basic sauces can be hundreds of calories.
&#x200B;
Keep it up!
Cutecat42: I'm doing the treadmill at the gym. I put in my weight every time to get an accurate calorie count. I do at least 200 calories burned, but have been trying to get to 400 calories burned by the end of each session.
My boyfriend and I cook most of our meals (recipes from Hello Fresh, but getting our own ingredients). I have a calorie tracker app, and count almost everything to a T. Every now and then we go out for a meal, and if the place has calorie counts we use that. Otherwise, we try to stay reasonable. For example, we go to a Pho place with amazing Pho. They don't have calories listed, but we end up taking half of our Pho home and eating it for another meal.
As for 1900 calories being what I need to lose weight, I'm pretty sure that's correct. I've checked like 5 or so different "calculators" (inputting my correct age, weight, height, activity level, etc). Some say have more, some say less (the ones that say less still have 1900 calories for like losing 1 pound a week).
Sea-Slip598: Please dont listen to the comment above you. Weight training is ESSENTIAL for losing weight and I really helps with endorphins too. You don’t need to lift super heavy either. The easiest way to explain it is if you burn 200 calories on the treadmill doing cardio that is all you’ll burn. If you weight train for 30 mins you’ll burn 150 calories but then you’re going to keep burning calories into the next day while your body is repairing the muscles that your used to lift. So combining cardio and weight training is great for weight loss. I’m not a genius with this stuff but I’ve been working out for a long time and this is pretty basic stuff. Feel free to dm me if you ever have any questions regarding working out or dieting.
TsuZaki969: You're both not wrong.
Swimming has been touted as one of the best exervises for awhile now because of the resistance.
That being said, it won't make you stronger. It depends what your goals are as well. If it's purely weight loss, either works. Weight lifting is important to incorporate as muscles end up using more calories to maintain. But most of all you want to have a decently strong body just for your future. There's benefits to all of these things. It's whatever you enjoy most.
Sea-Slip598: Sorry I support the pool training. I was referring to the comment that OP replied to that suggested that cardio is more important for fat loss. But after rereading the comment it’s not as bad as I thought. But I still stand by my comment for a combo cardio weight training.
TsuZaki969: Oh for sure. I was in OP's shoes with a T2 diagnosis. Although mine was official. Doctor offered medicine and I said can I just change my diet + exercise to put it into remission. He said yeah your young enough to try. Honestly as a dude that spent most of his early life playing rougher contact sports, I put cardio to the side and just pumped. It helped my fat loss but not at the rate I wanted. I was getting and am hella strong now. But I've added more cardio time and the combination is doing wonders.
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1673405037 | 1673507757 | t3_108t9fy | t5_2to41 | 8 | Tight-Imagination-48: Tifu by depositing a false check
So I 18m live in a sober living in across the country from my family after being kicked out by my mom for not wanting to go to college. I’ve been looking for jobs but where I’m at there’s no remotely close place and I don’t have a car. So a person added me on Snapchat and we had some normal conversations and they asked about the topic of what I do for work, and I told them the truth. Then they asked me to do a couple of things that they’ll pay me for( in which I did) and then they sent me a check. I know it probably was a scam but I was super desperate and I was hoping it was real. So I mobile deposited the check and it went through with no issues. Then on January 6th my mom called me at like 6am and was like “pick up this call right now or I’m going to call the police.” Me just waking up I was confused on what was happening I was like ok and picked up the call. Turns out the check locked my account, my twins account, and my
Mothers account. So she calls the bank and has my account closed. So I call her and apologize later on because I didn’t know. A couple days later my older brother texts me and my twin that he doesn’t love us anymore, that not to come home and to leave this family alone. So I’m confused because my twin did nothing wrong so I was like, “ I understand why you’re mad at me but leave my twin out of this, he had nothing to do with this” Turns out my brother had tried to buy a escort around 4 months earlier and a similar situation happened, but instead of locking everyone’s accounts they gave him a warning. So now my both my brothers and my mother are mad at me and I’ve been pretty much disowned. TL;DR
Edit; Some backstory on myself so some can understand myself a bit more, my twin and I were adopted at 7 years old (never met my actual family )and both have been diagnosed with multiple mental health conditions. I personally have schizophrenia, PTSD, ADHD, Reactive attachment disorder (RAD), and severe anxiety and depression. My adopted father passed when I was 9 and was in the hospital half the time I knew him. My adopted family was very much the “sweep-your-problems-under-the-rug” type family. All of my family has gone to college and I’m pretty much the black sheep of the family for wanting to pursue music. I’ve done things in the past, but most of them were self-destructive, which led to me being hospitalized for multiple years consecutively(12-16) and have really only had around 5 years of actual parenting. When I got home at 16 I pretty much got a job and stayed in my room all day. I graduated at 17 but my mother didn’t let me get a driver’s license because I didn’t want to go to college. I just needed a place to vent and to hear others opinions on my situation. TL;DR
SubtleName12: >I was like, “ I understand why you’re mad at me
I don't. I'm floored your family over reacted like this to a simple mistake.
You got duped by some shady jackhole. Your family should be understanding, and dare I say it, supportive of you.
It may hurt in the short term but if they're going to treat you like that you might be better off without their influence anyway.
Good luck Op, none of us understand your family like you do so take any reddit advise with a grain of salt but it sounds like a shitty way to be treated by your mom and brother.
Sorry about your luck. Cheers, tomorrow's always a new day 😉
It'll get better.
Edit: Also, you're 18. Hate to say it but at least consider college. It helps unless you have a trade in mind. You can be successful without a degree but it's always nice to have the extra doors opened that a college education provides you at that age. (22 yo that is, not 18).
Squigglepig52: No, it's not a simple mistake.
dude suspected a scam, because it's one of the most common scams out there, went ahead, and fucked his family's bank accounts.
SubtleName12: Op is 18. This is a learning opportunity, not a reason to be disowned.
Wanna audit your first year as an adult?
Squigglepig52: Sure.
It didn't include trying to cash a cheque I thought was a scam, and getting my family's accounts locked.
Consider that, at 18, he's already living far away, in a sober living facility. Sounds like this is the latest in a string of bad choices, and the family is sick of dealing with fall out.
Tight-Imagination-48: I chose to go to a sober living of my own accord after my mother kicked me out for not wanting to go to college.
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1675192160 | 1675192914 | t3_10q7jzx | t5_2to41 | 8 | [deleted]: TIFU by joking about a thing to my husband which was very inappropriate
[removed]
OkVolume1: Stranger things have happened.
Eraevn: Ha!
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1673391122 | 1673407994 | t3_108nr1v | t5_2to41 | 18 | [deleted]: TIFU by getting on the wrong school excursion bus
I go to a kindergarten to year 12 school. Recently two school excursion groups were set to leave for different excursions, with a 7am departure. One was a year 5-6 outdoor adventure excursion, and the other one was my year 12 retreat/outdoor/adventure excursion. These excursions were three days and two nights, but at different venues.
I don't know why, but the departure points for both excursions were quite close to each other.
Anyway, I was in the waiting area with friends in my year group preparing to board our two buses. The teachers were doing the roll call. Eventually my name was called, and I said I was present.
Shortly after I saw three of my friends who are in year 6. I'm friends with these girls because we do Taekwondo together. I'm small, so I am similar to an average-or-taller 11/12 year old when it comes to my height and weight. I wave at them, they wave back, and then I tell my year 12 friends I'm going over to say hi. I told them I'll come back soon and try to get on the same bus they're getting on but if it fills up then I'll get on the other bus.
Once I walk over, we talk for a few minutes. And then the teachers for their excursion start doing their roll call. They call out the names of my friends, however at one point they also call out 'Sarah' and I say 'present'. Roll call finishes, and my friends and I start talking again.
However now the 5-6 grade excursion teachers are motioning for us to board the bus. We're still talking and I start absentmindedly going through the motions. I put my bag in the storage section of the bus, and then the four of us board and take our seats. The teachers do a head count and then we depart.
The year 12 excursion was going to be a 3 hour drive, so I tell my friends I'm going to get some more sleep. I doze off. Suddenly I'm woken up by my friend saying 'Sarah, we've arrived'. I checked the time and only 1 hour 45 minutes had passed.
I gave her a confused look... And then it dawned on us that I wasn't supposed to be on the year 5-6 excursion bus.
Apparently one of the girls in my year group arrived last minute. She missed roll call, but was counted when sitting on the bus - so the passenger count across the two year 12 excursion buses matched the number of names on the student roll. Coincidentally, the Sarah from the 5-6 year group was a no-show because she was unwell on the morning of departure.
Anyway, the excursion was still kinda fun. Given the excursion venues were in different directions, I was about 4 to 5 hours away from the year 12 excursion. And because my parents couldn't pick me up the school just had them complete a permission slip for me to attend the year 5-6 excursion.
But it was also kinda sad. The excursion activities were lower-risk activities age-appropriate for 11 and 12 year olds, whereas the year 12 excursion activities were obviously age-appropriate for 17 and 18 year olds.
And one key focus of both excursions was peer group bonding. On the plus side, I did actually form a really strong sense of camaraderie with the friends from Taekwondo and another 4 girls that we shared our dormitory with. But this was at the cost of the peer group bonding that I should have had with the girls and boys in my own year group.
tl;dr: I was too busy talking, not paying attention, and ended up on the wrong school excursion.
Disastrous_Story_326: 1. Really strange for a 17/18 year old to be friends with 11/12 year olds
2. You went on a bus with the 11 and 12 year olds you know and didn't realize that was the wrong bus for no apparent reason
Something seems a little off with you
[deleted]: Martial arts like Taekwondo are based on weight class. So they're not friends-friends like my actual friends at school, but they're people I know well and socialise with three or four times a week during Taekwondo classes. I'm in the same Taekwondo classes because, given my stature, there's nobody else appropriately sized in the adult class for sparring.
I don't think I noticed because I was at school by 6:30am having woken up at 5:30am... which is why I fell asleep during the bus ride.
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1673407148 | 1673507695 | t3_108u09n | t5_2to41 | 150 | YouExtension6763: TIFU by accidentally hitting on a 12 year old girl
Yes, this is going on my alt account because I do *not* need this story associated with my face 🙃
To preface this story, I (18f) am a lesbian and TERRIBLE at judging ages. This happened two years ago, when I was 16. It’s also important to note that this was during Covid, which didn’t help my judgement.
So two years ago, I was taking my first trip to the grocery store in AGES with a couple of friends and my dad. Picture the scene: an exasperated man followed by a pack of teenagers, determined to sneak as many weird, off-brand King Soopers sweets into the cart as possible. Needless to say, we’re a little hard to keep track of. At some point, I, with my ADHD brain, get distracted by something shiny and wander off.
And that’s when I saw her. A lovely lady, dressed in high heeled boots, a floofy blouse and a corset- an outfit I would describe as dressing like a TikTok pirate. I couldn’t exactly tell how old she was- especially since she wore a mask- but given her pirate-like attire and the fact that she was accompanied by a woman around my dad’s age, I guessed she was around my age. (Spoiler alert: I was wrong)
Now I’ve never been one to be shy, nor am I one to fight the impulse of “wow, pretty girl!”. So I snag my best friend, who’s with us, and send her on a mystical quest to give the pirate girl my number. She does, and I stare eagerly at my phone the entire way home until HOORAY! Pirate girl texts me.
We exchange names and pronouns and start chatting about our interests. Things are going beautifully, just beautifully when it happens.
Pirate girl asks what school I go to. I respond with “oh, I’m a sophomore at [my high school]. She sends back, “wow, I’ve never been friends with a sophomore before!” This statement catches me off guard. Confused, I reply with, “wait, how old are you?”
Fellow Redditors, this is where I found out I had fucked up. Pirate girl was not, in fact, my age. Pirate girl was *twelve*. Not sixteen, not fifteen. TWELVE. I found out later that the school she’d told me she went to was a middle school in the town over.
Needless to say, I nearly threw my phone in horror. My friend asked me what was wrong, then proceeded to spend the next hour laughing at me. I made polite conversation with the girl for a little while longer because she was just so excited that I wanted to be friends, but I ended up taking the coward’s way out and ghosting her the next day after pretending my phone had broken. It was just too uncomfortable for me, knowing I still *babysat* kids her age (not to mention that I was originally trying to flirt with her). It’s been two years and I still look back on this day and cringe.
TL;DR: When I was sixteen, I gave a cute girl in a grocery store my number. She turned out to be twelve.
niko4ever: A little bit mean to ghost her without explanation but I get it
Anyway don't worry about it, it happens. When I was 19 I was volunteering for this event and with one of the guys I worked with we just really clicked and had good chemistry too. We talked on and off that whole first day but towards the end of it I asked what year of school he's in and found out he was 13, just real tall for his age.
He saw my expression and asked in a concerned voice how old I was, I said 19, and he grimaced too. Then, being so well in tune with eachother, we both just made eye contact, shook our heads, and walked away, never talking again for the rest of the event.
Qyro: Wow, 19 year olds can’t be friends with 13 year olds?
YouExtension6763: Unless it’s through family, I’d say it’s a little weird.
Qyro: Why? What’s weird about it exactly?
YouExtension6763: That’s a *huge* maturity gap, to the point where most people would consider it inappropriate for a 19 year old to be seeking out 13 year olds to be friends with
Qyro: Is it though? The commenter and the 13 year old were obviously on such a similar maturity level that they were getting on like a house on fire.
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1673408452 | 1673409285 | t3_108ugng | t5_2to41 | 30 | sweatyducktoes: TIFU by pretending to be sick to stay home from school
Okay so this actually happened when I was in the 1st or 2nd grade but it still haunts my memories.
When I was a little kid I hated going to school just like any other child. I didn't like having to sit still, I didn't like how long it was, I didn't like learning about certain subjects, and I just wanted to go home and play games or watch Youtube. Because of my strong dislike, I often pretended to be sick so I wouldn't have to go.
Sometimes I would try to convince my parents to let me stay home before I got on the bus and other times I would go to the nurses office during lunch and fake a stomach ache. I don't know why but I always passed it off as a stomach ache. Nothing else. But whatever, I was a stupid kid.
Anyway, now onto the real story. On this particular day I decided I didn't want to go to school because "school sucks." I managed to convince my parents that I was sick and I was so happy I got to stay home. I have never made a bigger mistake in my life. The next day when I went back to school, I found out that the Reading Rainbow guy came to visit. **THE READING RAINBOW GUY.**
If you didn't grow up with Reading Rainbow then you won't be able to understand but as a kid he was like the biggest celebrity. At least that's what I remember. Anyway, I was so upset. I could not (and still can't) believe that I missed the opportunity to meet the Reading Rainbow guy. I don't even remember his name, I just always knew him as the Reading Rainbow guy.
Moral of the story: only stay sick at home when you're *actually* sick. Otherwise you might miss your chance to meet the Reading Rainbow guy.
TL;DR: I faked being sick to stay home but found out the Reading Rainbow guy came to my school that same day.
zimfroi: Put some respect on Lavar Burton's name. The man was Kunta Kinte. He was Geordi LaForge. And, as you have already stated, he was the reading rainbow guy! He deserves more.
sweatyducktoes: i didn’t know that, that’s so cool!
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1673410757 | 1673490182 | t3_108v9ac | t5_2to41 | 120 | Important__Eggplant: TIFU By calling my crush a loser
Listen, I know the title sounds mean. But hear me out.
A little backstory: I'm competitive. Not like l'Il flip a table if I lose, but I just get a little too into it and I start hooting and hollering. I'm also kinda shy. If I like you, I'll start talking to you and joking around. If I don't, I avoid you and I don't talk to you, let alone joke. But my joking is kind of weird. I insult you. I'll just say stuff like "Well that's why you’re a loser," or "it's not my fault you suck!" That's the way I show love and I joke. I don't know why I do this, it's just how my family does I guess.
Anyways, today I was at tennis practice. Both our girls and boys mix together because we aren't very big lol.
We were playing a game. (For those of you who play tennis, we were playing king of the court.) All you really need to know is you are trying to take the persons spot on the other side of the court. My crush was on the other side, and I had just won. As I was running to take his spot, I just said "loser" while chuckling. I immediately knew he didn't like that. This guy is quiet and doesn't understand joking or sarcasm really well. I went to talk to him after practice and he just gave one word responses. I haven't know him very long so many he's not into me and he's not comfortable with me yet.
Either way, I think he hates me now. So yup, I think IFU.
TL;DR I jokingly told my crush he’s a loser and I think he hates me now
aligador: Just by reading the first paragraph, you seem like a perfectly normal person. Your 'weird flirting' style is called "teasing," and is socially accepted as being part of flirting, so long as you're friendly the rest of the time.
That said, some people are just extremely sensitive and can't handle being teased. On the other hand, maybe you just perceived his response to the situation incorrectly.
If he truly seems offended, I'd just chill on the teasing for a bit and take some more time to become more friendly with him. If you do this and he still becomes defensive when being teased, then he's just an insecure person and will either require some extra sensitive care or some time to grow up. But no matter what you choose, he is human and he needs to feel loved, just like everybody else does- just like the song goes.
After reading the second paragraph... Probably don't be a sore winner with people you aren't familiar with. Maybe try apologizing for coming off rude the other day during practice.
Squigglepig52: >Just by reading the first paragraph, you seem like a perfectly normal person. Your 'weird flirting' style is called "teasing," and is socially accepted as being part of flirting, so long as you're friendly the rest of the time.
If she was a guy, this would fall under "He's being mean because he likes you", and you would call her abusive.
Ecstatic-Investment9: I disagree, i do think that the "he's being mean to you because he likes you" is a dangerously slippery slope that COULD lead to abuse but my (AFAB) fiance (M) says shit like that to me all the time, it's how we flirt. It's not inherently abusive though. When the rest of the context is light hearted it's chill dude. What was your point? I don't understand why you had to get all agressive lol
Squigglepig52: My point is, trash talking people you don't really know is a good way to offend people, and it's not being taken as flirting, it's being taken as an insult.
Not a good look for OP.
When you know you are both on the same page, it's perfectly fine, when you don't know how the other person feels about it, don't do it.
My close friends and I trash talk each other constantly, but I don't do that to people I barely know.
KKhuth4173: I think it's fine for a person to tease that way. It's kind of just how some people are. Some can take it, some can't. In the end, you'll usually find new friends being the ones who can handle you for being you. OP can apologize, it's not the end of the world. People make mistakes sometimes, and that's okay. The way is interpreted is not always the way it was intended so that also plays a big part in it too
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1673411778 | 1673488223 | t3_108vlod | t5_2to41 | 63 | [deleted]: TIFU by paying off other people to get with my now Fiancée.
[deleted]
DICKTracey: 19, getting married.
I will never understand this.
An_Irish_Moth_Person: No, 21 and married, we’re only engaged, we’re both legal adults who can legally fuck and legally go overseas and die, we’re also legally allowed to get engaged. There’s the understanding my friend!
DICKTracey: Yeah, all legal things are good ideas…
And the fact that this was how you responded has only further cemented my thinking to be honest.
An_Irish_Moth_Person: I don’t follow? I wasn’t trying to be a twat, I was just trying to help you understand. And how did my response come across in a negative way?
despoiljmm: I believe what the gentleman is trying to say is you are 21 and still very young. What I looked for in a lifelong partner (marriage) at 21 and 30 are two completely different planets.
If you are committed and engaged then that is great. However, make sure you take the time to get to know your partner inside and out. Live together for several years, see how they deal with traumatic life events, can they communicate well, etc. before you commit to marriage.
It is not something to be taken lightly and it is not easily reversed.
She may very well be an amazing person and the perfect partner for you. Just don’t rush into things and keep your eyes open for red flags and warning signs. Honeymoon phases of relationships (especially) when young are definitely a thing having experienced them firsthand.
No judgement on either of you though. If you are happy then be happy!
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1673413684 | 1673415129 | t3_108w7te | t5_2to41 | 31 | [deleted]: TIFU by telling my boss that I was taking time off to make p0rn videos...
[deleted]
Gloomy_Guard_: To be fair... ALS Scan is a weird name for a porn site
DieDae: Even weirder than her openly harassing her employees about porn?
| 3 | 10.333333 |
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1673413949 | 1673416808 | t3_108waus | t5_2to41 | 7 | [deleted]: TIFU by mistreating a girl during her first time.
[deleted]
LsG133: So from what I can tell you took off the condom without consent, and *somehow* didn’t know you went in her ass instead, as if she didn’t react.
Sounds incredibly rapey.
aussie_nub: Yeah, I don't know how someone couldn't react to having something stuck in their ass that they weren't expecting... however, what I can understand is someone freezing up and becoming petrified when that happens. Definitely sounds like a rapist to me.
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1673415531 | 1673492064 | t3_108wt5u | t5_2to41 | 7 | anon2563: TIFU and I mean we forgot to check up on our friend
Please help!!! My friend(25)and I(f25) forgot to ask how our best friend(25m) of 10+ years how his dads major surgery went and now he’s pissed and is disappointed. Ik we are major AH for forgetting and we feel horrible we want to it up.
He’s not speaking to us as of rn. We’re planning on buying this for his dad to make it easier for him to maneuver around the house but we need some advise to help us out. We have some gift baskets set up to as an apology and are going to make them food. I’m crying rn feeling absolutely horrible and Ik I shouldn’t bc he’s feeling so much more worse and all alone bc of it. We don’t want to lose our friend.
I can’t go into too much specifics. We just want to know want else we can do to make this process a lot more easier all of us are in school and don’t have a-lot of money to spend but we want to help as much as possible. I hope he can forgive us because we don’t want to lose this long term friendship. Any advice is greatly appreciated and we’re trying our best to figure it out. Thank you to anyone who take the time to read this post.
TLDR: we majorly fucked up and forgot to ask our friend how their dad was doing and feeling and how they were feeling and doing after an intensive surgery.
metalbuttefly: Sorry, that's terrible for everyone involved! 😔 I've done stuff like this. I find in the future putting reminders everywhere helps. I have things in my google calendar, or you could set an alarm, or put in your organiser or on a post it note, somewhere where you will see it a couple of times in a day.
When people are really hurt, they may need time to process and forgive. People don't really feel like messages of things like "im sorry, im sorry, please forgive me, im soooo sorryyyyy!" Helpful. Just cos you're making the issue about you and your guilt.
Instead say something like," I really am so sorry for forgetting this important thing for you. I really Love and appreciate your friendship, and I can see that I really screw up and was too self obsorbed/busy will my things, etc. I can see that you were really scared and worried about your dad, and need support and I was neglectful. Please know that this was a mistake, and im going to try be there for you more in the future. I really hope everything went well with your dad and the surgery was smooth. That must have been really anxiety packed for you to go through. Please know that I am really thinking of you guys, and please reach out when you feel ready, or you need more support."
I don't know the situation, whether he's being to hard on you or not, but given he's your best friend, I guess he's just angry and hurt. Good luck!
anon2563: Thank you yeah my other friend and I currently are getting supplies together to make transportation easier and making home comfortable for him and his father. I reached out to him today but he’s still not responding I am just giving him time bc Ik he’s very mad.
metalbuttefly: Thats great, you are helping organise stuff for him, and cooking and stuff. Hopefully it'll blow over later.
anon2563: We’re trying
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1675200309 | 1675203442 | t3_10qayt0 | t5_2to41 | 36 | RhubarbParticular736: TIFU by having my secret leaked
So just a little background check, i'm a male (16) and in a friend group in school containing roughly about 30 or so people. mainly boys but a few girls. I am a type of guy that watches h3n\*\* and you know do my business.
Basically rewind 4 weeks ago, me and my friend, lets call him friend 1, was in a private call and did truth or dare. That somehow turned into me releasing my secrets, the secret was that i w\*nked to the girls in our friend group, he did the same thing and promised not to tell anyone. NOW fast forward 2 weeks later, friend 1 got a little agitated with my other friend (friend 2) and released my secrets and name to him so now he knows. At first he didn't believe me and friend 1 decides to spill all the details leaving me to decide. Yeah not the greatest friend i can't lie. So i'm left with no choice and had to spill the beans, now at first he finds it weird and then he goes on with his day and promised not to tell anyone cause he knows that i will get f\*\*\*cked if it gets out.
Fast forward to today, Friend 1 gets with an argument with all the girls in the friend group with a similar problem and suddenly out of nowhere spills all the information about me. Friend 2 tells me about it when i got home but said that the girls doesn't think its me but will investigate. (Friend 1 is the type of guy that doesn't think before he speaks, so you can wonder how many people he has offended or said weird stuff)
Now here's the problem, the girls in the friend group aren't like your typical girls that would just say "ew u perv".... Nah these girls will literally maul you a\*\* down to the ground, they will tear you apart with all the information that got given to them and will make a huge scene about it even if it was a small joke. Not to name anyone but one of them is known for being super defensive and hostile.
At this point of time i have fully came clean, stopped doing it cause it was destroying my mental health. So now im here writing this wondering if i should come clean to them and have my a\*\* mauled by them or lie and blame friend 1 for breaking that promise.
Do you think i should come out clean or lie and blame friend 1?
TL;DR they are still investigating but i may not make it out in one piece T-T
Darkrain0629: >Do you think i should come out clean or lie and blame friend 1?
No you need better friends period dude.
RhubarbParticular736: yeah, but its either this or the popular people so left with no choice
Samasher17: Do you have the choice of the popular people? Because if you do then change up for the love of God.
RhubarbParticular736: man i wish i had the choice but sadly i can't. Although the popular people do respect me, their friend group is full of druggies and overall bad people so not really a good environment to be in.
Samasher17: It sounds like your friend group is maybe worse, kid.
My advice, as a teacher, a parent, and a guy who was once a teenage boy, is to keep this shit to yourself, downplay it casually if it's ever mentioned, and move on with your life.
| 6 | 6 |
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1673416599 | 1674241018 | t3_108x4z1 | t5_2to41 | 89 | throwawayfzfool: TIFU by reconnecting with my best friend and Crush from my childhood
As always a true TIFU didn't happen exactly today, but I am now on a trajectory to a colossal emotional fuckup that will potentially ruin my relationships and cause pain for those I care about.
I (Guy) had this friend (Girl) from my childhood who I have always been absolutely head over heals in love with. Not a childhood crush, puppy love, or idealized rose colored glasses infatuation with.
Just Love.
I have no way to describe it other than, when I am around this person I am whole, and complete in ways I have never experienced with anyone else, ever.
I knew within a week of meeting this girl I loved her, and from that point forward I was trapped. I became her Best Friend, we got to know each other, but as she was always seeing someone else, and my utter cowardice to push for more, I friend zoned myself, and couldn't get out of that accursed trap. I had low self esteem, and thought I was actually a lot uglier than I was, and never saw myself as someone deserving affection. So of course why would I expect her to reciprocate these feelings.
She would breakup with someone, I would wait to give her space, and then she would immediately get snatched up by someone else who had the balls to do what I didn't and pursue her openly. I made a lot of mistakes but my **First Fuckup** and maybe biggest was never just jumping on the grenade and saying, "I know you just broke up with \[name of ex\] but I think there is something here. I can't be your friend any more."
Enter this cycle for years.
I decide through a mixture of low confidence, and worry that I am pushing myself pathetically on this girl and she doesn't even want to be friends, that I should distance myself until she approaches me.
**Second Fuckup.**
It works and over 10 years we don't see each other or hang out except for the odd Facebook like, text message of well wishes, or Happy birthday. I Thanos Snapped our relationship away for 10 years.
I don't realize she is in an abusive relationship and thats why she isn't reaching out, because I'm not in her life to help her as she goes it alone.
All the while I try to move on but through various relationships I never feel what I have for this girl, and just lead an empty life never loving anyone else.
Que Last year, I go through some personal traumas that make me act out and act unusual to my normally hesitant and controlled approach. Probably good for me as I put myself out there and realize I have value to people, and a lot of my doubts were just in my head.
This includes reaching out to my old friend in a moment of weakness and somehow we are chatting and now seeing each other to get drinks and catchup. She misses me, the old emotions burst forward, the old synapses so entrenched in me even a decade later, but we basically pick up where we left off in our relationship, both older, and at significantly different places in our lives. Steady jobs, Core Friend groups, a Mortgage here, a wild fling there, our old in jokes just rolling out despite the punchlines being forgotten long ago.
For reasons I won't go into, I know she is capable of having some interest in me, and has acted upon it, but for reasons that require another post, I misunderstood the signals I was getting.
**Problem:**
`She is now engaged`
Game over right. Tough luck buddy, you had your chance, you fucked up, deal with it. Move on.
`She wants me at her wedding, maybe even in her Wedding party!`
Maybe she doesn't understand, *I admit I had feeling for her*, something I could never have done before. I make fun of old me who was blatantly obvious in hindsight. She brushes it off. I think she thinks this is water on the bridge she doesn't understand, I still hold these feeling for her.
*I tell her*. I know WTF, I didn't even think I had it in me. I take the plunge and admit my feelings never went away as I look her directly in the eyes. I'm willing her to connect what she wants with the reality of the situation.
I'm not asking her to leave her partner. But asking an ex to attend your wedding is one thing, Asking someone who never got over you, who still loves you like a pathetic rom com to watch you marry another. Thats a mistake. You don't Invite Ted Mosby to a wedding.
`She hears me, she is flattered, she is surprised, she doesn't put it together.`
At some point, she is going to eventually plan this wedding, she is going to send out those invite cards, and I'm going to have to decline. Or worse, she is going to approach me with her partner and ask me to be in her wedding party supporting her on this day, watch her go with another man.
Fuck that. I'm not going to do that to myself. I can't live my life chasing the one that got away. I was a stupid masochist as a kid, but never again, I won't survive this if I act like I used to.
But if I hadn't reconnected, If I hadn't restarted our relationship. I did this to myself. I should have stayed gone, but now I know she's going to get shocked, Surprised, confused, sad, upset.
She's going to have to explain to her friends who she introduced me to, her future husband who welcomed me in their home, her parents who still remember me, why I didn't show up.
I've not just created an awkward situation, I've pushed my problems onto her shoulders like a ticking time bomb waiting to happen. What should be a happy if not stressful planning period for her wedding, I am going to throw her a curveball and introduce doubt and confusion and mixed feelings. I am absolutely sure this will be horrendous for her.
But I am now a selfish callous bastard. I cannot and will not have a front row seat to watch her marry someone other than me. I'm not going to stop it, but I am not going to suffer out of some stupid and pointless sense of chivalry.
Honestly, If I just spell it out for her as dramatic as it would be, I'm also potentially acting selfishly to try to win her over. It almost feels kinder to just ghost her and stay gone. It feels immature but like the only plan that would save us from needless highschool teenage angst and drama.
TL;DR: I reconnected with someone who I am madly in love with, and will most likely have to turn them down to be part of their wedding. Emo Tears, Drama Boo Hoo.
Love4KittyButtholes: >For reasons I won't go into, I know she is capable of having some interest in me, and has acted upon it, but for reasons that require another post, I misunderstood the signals I was getting.
There is important and critical context missing here because I think you are making a lot of excuses for her reciprocating, and ultimately, the potential of her leaving her fiance to be with you. That hope, if in hubris or arrogance is never killed, will leave you permanently unhappy. This is going to end in tears and the fact is she is not nor should she be, in control of this situation. You are. If you can't or won't attend the wedding you should communicate that. Ideally, you'd work on yourself so you can be a good friend and attend and be there for your friend.
I also want to address the friendzone comment. This is inherently sexist. Your friend is not an opportunity for romance; she is a human being, deserving of your honest companionship and support without the heft baggage of your unrequited feelings. The friendzone doesn't exist. No one is entitled to sex or romance because you're a "nice guy" or were a good friend. This is not some kind of grievance either inflicted upon you or self inflicted.
I hope you figure things out, but it starts with some serious self reflection, because at first pass, you sound self absorbed. No where do you describe your friend as anything other than her relationships with other men, or your reactions and actions to her. It is all vis a vis what you want or conjecture. You also make assumptions about her ability to handle more honest conversation on the matter.
krazanas: You look at the situation from the POV of the woman without considering OP's POV. The girl is deserving of companionship and support as you mentioned, but it is a terrible idea to sacrifice your own happiness for someone else's. And if the vision of her marrying someone else hurts him this much then he shouldn't stick around, because he's going to hurt himself in the process. The wording makes it seem like OP is a tad bit obsessive, and if that's true then separation is a great choice, despite both sides having to deal with feelings surrounding it
Love4KittyButtholes: You mean woman instead of girl, right? I also take issue with OP calling her a girl. She's a grown ass woman. My point wasn't to introduce the woman's POV at all. Mine was to point out that she's not being treated as a human being, just as a romantic objective, and everything is being considered from OP POV. I also want to point out how unfair it is for her to lose a friend (now more than once) because OP keeps torturing himself with the hope of something more. I don't understand why this situation is being looked at as a zero sum game "sacrificing his happiness for someone else's" because her getting married to someone she loves should not have been something that encroached on his happiness in the first place. The only reason why OP makes it his business is because he is possessive.
Raisen22: The problem is ... YOU'RE FEEDING on that possessiveness by telling him to "grow up and get over with this". YEAH! He should, but sticking to her isn't the best option and trust me, this will lead to something far worse in the future. OP isn't mental stable right now sadly and is even worse if you push him to stay. The best way for him is to pack thing and run from this situation as fast and far as possible too.
Because i read a lot of histories like this where the person end up doing far worse things due obsession or jealousy. And if you push OP to stay, you will contribute to this scenarios to happen sooner or later.
And if you said: "Your read to much disney, netflix and other sh\*t stories".
DUDE! there is thousands of videos talking about RL stories where a situation brewing in a similar scenario as this end up with the "guy friend" R\* her at some point, hurt or, ruin the wedding or even worse, terminating one of both or the 3 due this very situations.
In here we at least had the opportunity to talk some sense to the OP and convince him to pack things and go away from the situation as soon as possible. You will be saving him from this, and saving that woman's marriage too in the process.
| 5 | 17.8 |
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1673418560 | 1673441457 | t3_108xqzx | t5_2to41 | 35 | s1NN3rr_: TIFU by getting absolutely shitfaced at my friend's house warming party
So before we start the main story let me give you all a little bit of context. I am (20M) an engineering student and my college is about 68 kilometers away from the place where I stay. I usually travel via train from my home to college. So one of my college mates got a place on rent near our college and invited me and everyone else for a small house warming party at her house. Our small party started near 4pm and I was supposed to be at home till 7pm as I had to attend a wedding of one of my relatives with my family.
Now whenever I drink I usually start by taking in a few neats to warm up and then I take it slow. But today a demon inside me which I've never seen before woke up from his slumber and decided that he will drink so much booze that my liver will hang itself.
I started off with a few neats as usual but I forgot to stop at " a few". I kept drinking and drinking and eventually got so shitfaced that I started bumping into walls, started pointing each one of my friends out and telling them whether I trust them or not and did a few more things before I passed out in the washroom.
When I slightly came to my senses I woke up in the girl's (who had rented the place) bed and everyone else was gone. I started panicking thinking that everyone had abandoned me and went home and it was already 5:30pm at that point (remember I had that 7pm deadline).
So I told my friend that I'll be going too. She then assured me that nobody has abandoned me, everybody just went home to get extra clothes because everyone will be staying for the entire night. But I had to be home by 7 pm or else I would've gotten scolded pretty badly by my mum. And I shit you not, I was in no shape or form to be travelling in crowded trains. My friend said this same thing but my oversmart ass told her I'm fine and the first thing I did after getting up from the bed was to bump into a wall and fall face first onto the floor. I got back up and left while my friend tried to stop me.
So my friend had gotten her apartment in a pretty huge complex. My dumbass got lost in the premises of that complex and couldn't find an exit. After a few failed attempts and running in circles around 4 cars a security guard saw me and escorted me to the exit. Then I got a cab and went to the nearest railway station. And that's it, It was the last thing that I remember.
When I came fully to my senses again, I was sitting under a hot shower in my house's bathroom and I had a small burn mark on my hand and two on my right calf. I had no memory of how the hell I got here and how those marks appeared whatsoever. I checked my mobile phone to see if I can get any clues on what happened. I had sent my live location to one of my friends and I had talked with my mum too.
I gave a call to the friend I had sent my live location to and asked him whether he knows how I came home and how those marks appeared. Turns out sometime before passing out in the washroom I was smoking cigarettes and thought it would be too much of a drag to go get the ashtray so I decided to make my hand and my calf one instead. But even my friend had no idea how I came home.
Then after quite a while of trying to remember, a small montage of events played in my head where I first see the railway station, then I see that I'm in a very crowded train, then I'm asking cabs to take me home and then spraying myself with deodorant before entering in my house. This is the most shitfaced I've ever been and I'm not planning to even drink anytime again soon. Also I made it barely in time.
TL;DR: Got shitfaced at a housewarming party far from home, told almost everyone I didn't trust them, used myself as an ashtray and then couldn't remember how I came back home
bahcodad: This formatting is horrible to read.
s1NN3rr_: I didn't selected this it just happened, I'm fairly new to reddit, any tips on how I can make it better?
bahcodad: Edit your post and remove the markdown. Probably backticks (`)
Edit: sorry for the late reply. I see you already did it
s1NN3rr_: No worries and Thanks for your help!
| 5 | 7 |
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1675201128 | 1675201421 | t3_10qbbja | t5_2to41 | 30 | svckmyd1ck: TIFU by being horny at the gym with my bf
So this happened last week👍
basically my boyfriend and i go to different college and in different program. We live in different city so it is not the simplest trying to see each other. and we always try to see each other at least twice during the week. On Thursday night we both realized we were free and normally he goes to work out. I decided to go with him that night and enjoy a little moment together. We got to the gym and did a little cardio to warm up.
After warning up we decided to go to do angled leg presses downstairs ( the gym we go to has two floor) i was finishing up a set while he was working on another “machine”.
i stop to look at him:
him: what? me: i wanns show you my boobs him: okay wait (we both check for people around real quick) him: youre good
so i show him my boobs (i was wearing a nike sport bra) i then i get up a little and notice a guy who’s in one of my college class looking straight at me in the eyes. and cue me looking up and noticing cameras. tbh that was dumb of us to not think about cameras!
so yeah i showed a guy from school and the cameras at the gym my tits👍
lesson learned no more getting horny at the gym
TL;DR: my bf and i were at the gym and thought nobody was looking so i showed him my tits but turns out a guy from school saw them and they are cameras!
MSGRiley: Finally got over that "not feeling pleasure during sex" problem, I see.
svckmyd1ck: yes!
| 3 | 10 |
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1675201939 | 1675203047 | t3_10qbnhe | t5_2to41 | 1,327 | _--_-_-_-_-_--_: TIFU by making a dumb comment on my gyms feedback survey.
So it was a few days ago and i was at the gym the other day, and I frequently see this one cute worker who likes to talk with me, and at least to me, it seems like she's being a little, flirty. well heres the fuck up, my dumb ass saw the feedback survey and assumed she would be the one reading them that night so I wrote something in the section "where can we improve" and wrote something along the lines of "if the cute girl gave me her number" well today I get a call from the manager there saying "I would like you to call me back and discuss the comment you made" I'm guessing I'm going to be banned for some kinda sexual harassment or some shit? Is there anything I can do at this point?
TL;DR tried flirting with a worker through the feedback survey and probably getting banned now
Edit- went back today, and everything was fine
jeffinRTP: Apologize sincerely
beaverbait: Yep, swallow your pride and learn a valuable lesson.
| 3 | 442.333333 |
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1673424172 | 1673483042 | t3_108zbli | t5_2to41 | 19 | Noir_A_Mous: Tifu by accidentally letting my cat out of my apartment.
So I work a third shift job, I got home today around 8am and went straight to bed. Little did I know the cat walked right out the door. Sadly neither me, my gf or my roommate, who were already asleep at the time, noticed his disappearance until around 7:30pm. Hes a pretty chill cat who usually sleep all day and isn't really active or noisy till dawn, so when he wasn't coming out for food/pets/play time we realised something was up. We checked the whole apartment and couldn't find him.
Eventually we got desperate and started knocking on doors, the apartment we live in is on the second floor inside of another building so we knew he couldn't get out unless someone let him out of the TWO doors. Our neighbor across from us told us that she had seen him, didnt know who he belonged to and called the office. The office sent a maintenance man over and he took care of the cat.
Alright so next step, we just gotta call the maintenance folks since the office is closed right now. We thank the lady, head back inside, call the maintenance office and get out on hold for a good 20mins. We eventually talk to someone only for them to tell us they're not sure what the other maintenance guy did with our cat. They explain what's in the report, that the maintenance guy came to the location, the cat ran up to him, lead him to the door and pawed at it, he didnt know, he didnt ring the door bell, he didnt call the office to have him call us, he just waited by the door and when nothing happened he "removed the cat from the premises". To which the other maintenance guy isn't sure what that means.
So as of right now we've gotta wait till the office opens at 9am and hopefully figure out what happened to my fluffy baby boi. The office has him registered, we played the deposit and monthly payments, they know we have a cat, there's no reason he should have been "removed". I'm had this little guy for close to 8 years now and I'm just hoping I get him back.
Tldr; cat got out of the apartment because of my sleepy negligence, maintenance man "removed the cat from premises" and the other maintenance person doesn't know what that means. Cat is currently still missing.
Edit: Sssssooo apparently the apartments policy (not written into our lease or anywhere) is if they find an animal loose in the building, they THROW IT OUTSIDE! Regardless on weather or not there's a pet owner in the building, turns out they're "too busy" to check.
Edit 2: I had forgotten to update this post, my cat has been found! He's a bit more skittish than normal but I'm just glad he's home.
Auroraburst: I would suspect one of 3 things:
1. The maintenance guy tried to keep him.
2. He just let the cat out of the building.
3. He took him to a shelter.
4. Would another neighbour have him?
I would be messaging your closest shelters just in case. Don't just accept the cat is gone if they say that. Maintenance guy would have to work for a company of some sort so should be able to get reprimanded if he just let kitty out.
Maybe put a poster in the foyer with a photo of your cat and your apartment number?
Noir_A_Mous: Just found out what happened, apparently the apartments policy (not written into our lease or anywhere) is if they find an animal loose in the building, they THROW IT OUTSIDE! Regardless on weather or not there's a pet owner in the building, turns out they're "too busy" to check.
Auroraburst: If you have had to pay to have your cat and it isn't written in the lease i feel like they can get in deep shit for this.
In the meantime I guess flyers, lost posts on fb etc.
Noir_A_Mous: I have a picture of the pet rules but I'm not sure how to post it here
| 5 | 3.8 |
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1675203329 | 1675209320 | t3_10qc880 | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: TIFU By Researching a Decades Old Essay About Dobby
[deleted]
AcrobaticSource3: Wait was this Harry Potter parody porn? It’s weird that a presumably legit book about Dumbledore linked to Harry Potter parody porn, unless this was fanfic
PlathTheSalt: The website is defunct, so at one point I'm sure it linked to the right page, but not anymore.
It's not fanfic, just a guy looking at what Dumbledore must have been doing behind the scenes.
| 3 | 1 |
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1673431519 | 1673577275 | t3_109164w | t5_2to41 | -6 | Futt1: TIFU By stabbing my classmate.
[removed]
mitmate: There's no way this is real lmao you crossed to mexico in 7-8 hours from Cali? Considering the fact you probably took an hour or so to pack all your documents and clothes or whatever, it would take you way longer. I live in AZ and get to mexico in 7 hours and Cali is further from Mexico. Also im guessing you're a minor? How did you manage to cross legally? This is not real
Futt1: I live near the border.
mitmate: California is not that near to the border that you get there in under 10 hours
ScottRoberts79: What are you talking about? California borders Mexico. From Brawley or El Centro or Calexico Mexico is less than 30 minutes away.
You sound like the real mud head.
mitmate: And you seriously believe this kid escaped to mexico because he supposedly stabbed a classmate? And now hes gonna escape to Guatemala cause his online friend lives there ??
ScottRoberts79: haha, no. I fully believe OP was trying to karma-farm. But your knowledge of US geography is pitiful......
mitmate: I am from America after all... Legit never took or was offered a geography class lol
| 8 | -0.75 |
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1673431427 | 1673432893 | t3_10915ba | t5_2to41 | 17 | [deleted]: TIFU by accidentally splashing my coworker with water
[deleted]
Question_Few: Come on OP. You're the manager. This is your employee and she just assaulted you and another coworker. The initial cause of the problem is no longer relevant because it can't be proven if it was a mistake or not. Do your due diligence and get the other managers to review the security footage if it was available. From there you will discuss behind closed doors with the other managers or even the area supervisor on what actions needs to taken in regards to the employee. As this is assault and another person apart from yourself was affected, You can't just ignore it because it can become an HR issue. You're paid to lead and resolve issues and this is your test. Resolve it how you would have wanted your leadership to resolve it in the past.
No-Rise7705: I’ve been physically threatened at this job before, to the point to where I am frightened to retaliate any way because some employees (such as herself, she’s made it abundantly clear) will hurt me. There have been times when full on fights have happened with weapons involved and instead of firing these people, they keep them on and ignore the issue. This place does not care whatsoever about being splashed by a water hose. I wish it did, but there’s really nothing I can do. Trust me, I’ve tried with many other situations and it just gets brushed under the rug. I’ve tried contacting HR multiples times over and never receive any sort of reply.
The employee that did this, however, has been here long enough (2 years) that they will listen to her about this situation and will get rid of me way before they even think of getting rid of her.
Question_Few: Whose responsibility do you think it is to create a hospitable workplace environment? If you're not having a good time as the manager then how do you think your other employees feel? I know it seems like I'm being hard on you but leadership is hard and one of the most difficult parts of transitioning to a leadership role is getting out of the bystander mindset that the things and circumstances in your environment have nothing to do with you. You've got a dangerous and hostile employee who has been working there a long time so an abrupt firing is difficult. This is why you have to discuss with your senior leadership as well as provide a paper trail. Threatening someone, Fighting employees, Bringing weapons and assaulting leadership and coworkers are outlandish acts that would get anyone fired in any other occasion so why are you allowing it in your store? Keep in mind that this is assault. A crime. The one who should be worried about the fallout from this is not you. If your senior manager won't take action then talk to the area supervisor or go above them. Follow your chain of command.
No-Rise7705: I have to wait to talk to one that is above my general manager because the person who is above them just stepped down so they are looking for a replacement, but I will as soon as I can. We (the managers in the store) have tried to tell the general manager but she has not done anything about any of these situations.
| 5 | 3.4 |
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1675205511 | 1675208324 | t3_10qd4a0 | t5_2to41 | 19 | [deleted]: TIFU by getting my snapchat locked
[deleted]
thrwayhairbortion: Lol, enjoy prison.
Last I checked, the mandatory minimum for that type of crime was five years minimum, and federal prison requires you to serve 85% of your sentence.
[deleted]: i just wabt help. im not a creep just extremely disappointed in myself.
thrwayhairbortion: You are. You did something horrible that hurts people and you've only "stopped" because you were caught and you're afraid of the consequences.
[deleted]: i am. im so sorry to you. and myself. i dont want sympathy. im just scared ive made a hugr mistake
thrwayhairbortion: Youve committed a heinous criminal act and you deserve exactly what you get.
[deleted]: i suppose so. i just wish i coikd take it bsck because im not this kind of person.
thrwayhairbortion: Yes you are.
You're literally the person who did it.
[deleted]: i am. i truly am. ive lodt myself. thid is already a thing if the past. but im sorry. im seriously sorry. i hate mysekf tor this
thrwayhairbortion: Still only worried about yourself.
Also, this is a confession you've written, bud.
| 10 | 1.9 |
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1673435275 | 1673440769 | t3_10925dv | t5_2to41 | -3 | fuckyou7474765: TIFU by dropping 300 nails on a main street
[removed]
KRYPTECDEMISE: “Let’s break the law, admit on the internet the exact crime because surely they can’t find me”
fuckyou7474765: Throw away account
KRYPTECDEMISE: That literally changes nothing. Throw away accounts aren’t hiding you from the police. Throw away accounts are hiding your identity from other people. Vpns will not save you because when questioned, your ISP, phone carrier, and VPN are all legally obliged to provide the necessary information to law enforcement
fuckyou7474765: Ok so, theres no proof since i payed with cash
KRYPTECDEMISE: Oh and an edit, the store will most likely have cameras, you probably passed several street cameras so they have video evidence either way
fuckyou7474765: I used my flipper zero to hack and turn off the cameras
| 7 | -0.428571 |
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1673434927 | 1673489775 | t3_109224r | t5_2to41 | 7,980 | hug-a-cat: TIFU by dressing casually for work (update).
My original post was [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/zh34jc/tifu_by_dressing_casually_for_work/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button). I got a message asking if there are any updates - there actually are and it's positive overall so I figured I'd make a quick post.
So the basic jist of my original post is that I work with marginalised people including people dealing with street homelessness, I'm the "lived experience" guy so I feel a bit separate from a lot of my colleagues. During a cold snap, I had to wear a lot of layers to work and looked scruffier than usual. When I tried to come into the staff office, a colleague I hadn't worked with before mistook me for a client and dramatically shoo-ed me out the door. Which obviously felt Great. The service manager saw this happen and asked if I wanted to make a complaint.
What ended up happening... I did go ahead with the complaint - mainly because the way she acted when she thought I was a client made me concerned about how she treats *actual* clients. It was taken seriously and formally investigated. The process wasn't as stressful as I thought it would be, I feel like it was handled pretty well.
I feel like people kept getting stuck on the "me being mistaken for a client" part and not the "this lady thinks its fine to shoo clients" part. Like they were asking if an apology or a "mediation meeting" would help, I was honest and said an apology wouldn't mean a huge amount to me one way or another, I'm mostly just worried about her attitudes in general and as long as that's been looked into then I'm happy.
There was some discussion and some ideas suggested. I'd say the main outcome is that the service is going to be funding training for all staff on "unconscious bias". It's mandatory which I think is a good thing tbh - a lot of training is voluntary and generally speaking the people who *choose* to attend training on unconscious bias aren't the ones who most urgently need it. I also think it's the sort of thing that could be useful for absolutely anyone and I'm definitely including myself in that.
I have very little direct contact with the lady who shoo-ed me and as far as I can tell she's avoiding me which I have no problem with. Hopefully she finds the training useful?? Part of me is hoping we'll be booked on to the same session because I think the sheer level of awkwardness could be pretty interesting.
That's about it for an update. I'm currently half-dead from flu so my brain is working on v limited capacity, apologies if any of this doesn't make sense! And thanks for the supportive replies to my first post, it wasn't a very nice situation so it meant a lot to me!
Tl, Dr: a colleague mistook me for a client and shoo-ed me out of the office like a stray dog, my employers have taken it seriously and are providing training for the whole service.
3PuttBog3y: I work in a hospital and had to come in one day on my day off to retrieve something from my locker, which is in a secured area that you need to swipe into or get buzzed in. It is in the ER waiting room so it's a super busy area. I didn't have my ID, was wearing a hat and hadn't shaved as it was a day off. A good work friend of mine, who I had worked with for years at that point flat out REFUSED to let me in. I saw her and waved. She kinda nodded. I pointed to the door to buzz me in and she's like nope, not happening weirdo patient. lol I had to go ask another girl to let me in. I still haven't let my bud forget about it a decade later.
SnakesCatsAndDogs: That sounds like something I would do, because I have a hard time recognizing people outside of their "spot". If I know you in scrubs and clean shaven at the hospital, and then I see you later scruffy and in people clothes, 90% chance I will have no idea who you are until I hear your voice lmfao. I always feel really bad about it later when people tell me I ignored them.
Kyoufu_wafuku: Me too! I recently figured out that I have a form of face blindness
SamSibbens: How did you find out that you have a form of it? I suspect that I do, but not anywhere bad enough to affect me in everyday life
Kyoufu_wafuku: I always knew thought that I was terrible with names but recently I started to realize that if that was the case, I would know who they are just not their name. I had been under the impression that face blind people could not recognize anyone—not even themselves or their family—but some people can learn a face after many hours of exposure. People like me use context clues such as location or distinctive traits to help us identify someone, so if they are in a different setting or have changed their hair then they’re basically a stranger. Running into someone I haven’t seen since HS is a nightmare for me and that’s been true since just one year out of school. The only time it hasn’t stressed me out immensely was when the other person was working and had a name tag on
SamSibbens: (I read your reply thanks for sharing!)
...
I was watching this video just now: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=WzyQbfh4t_8
And at 1:30 there's a video cut. The person we see is still the same guy, Ludwig, but in a different context compared to the beginning of the video
I didn't recognize him until after that whole clip
If you watch from 1:20 to 1:40, do you recognize him in both segments or does it look like two different people for you?
Kyoufu_wafuku: It’s a bit tricky to say because I was specifically looking for it and because I’m already familiar with him and his content.
SamSibbens: All good, was mostly out of curiosity. But thanks for taking a look!
| 9 | 886.666667 |
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1673436673 | 1673478675 | t3_1092iz4 | t5_2to41 | 1,759 | Horror-Product-2835: TIFU by flashing my boyfriends mom
Unfortunately this did not happen today but I feel like other than that its the perfect place to tell this story because i CANNOTTTT
slay okay so this was during summer 2022, me and my boyfriend had been together for a few months at this point, you can imagine, super duper in love, all the cute playful giggles and googly eyes you can imagine, fun right? wrong.
Now I don’t know about you, but I have never had or met anyone with a doorbell camera, Of course I know people had them because of funny videos on the internet recorded via ring doorbell camera, but for some reason I didn’t think people ACTUALLY had them, didn’t even cross my mind.
My mom is a sweet and sunny mediterranean lady who cannot stand the English weather, so shes always in her element when summer comes around, so we usually just sunbathe in the back yard together drinking beachy cocktails she makes like sangrias and margaritas. This is relevant because it would’ve been just noon and i’m already, steaming.
At this point in our relationship both me and my boyfriend still lived at home but we would see each other everyday, one night we’d spend at my house, the other at his house so we both got to still see our parents and spend time with each others family. Today was at his house, so he came and picked me up to take me there whilst indeed under the influence.
When we pulled up and got out of the car, I thought id do something a bit cheeky so I lifted up my tank top and yes you guessed it, showed him all the titties the eye could see.
To this day we still do things like that, and usually it wouldn’t be a problem, but instead of him reacting how he normally would, he told me to put my shirt back down and pointed at the doorbell camera mounted on his parents front door. Yikes.
His mom saw the footage, she deleted it before my boyfriends dad could see it too, I never heard a word of it from her, but my boyfriend suffered an awkward conversation about it while I wasn’t there. His dad still doesn’t know thankfully lmao
Anyways me and him are engaged now and I think its safe to say that his mom doesn’t hate me so yes it was embarrassing but I got the happy ending I wanted.
EDIT- Little disclaimer before anyone wants to act like they’ve witnessed my relationship first hand since it began, I do not care what you would do in a relationship and what you deem as a ‘rushed’ engagement. Im happy and contrary to many beliefs here you don’t actually know me outside of this reddit post so theres no need to be the proposal patrol and rain on my parade when i’ve not expressed anything other than excitement about my engagement. Some of you really be miserable for no reason at all but hey I guess that’s reddit for you!!
On a more positive note: Ive taken great pleasure in reading each persons theories on what I meant when I threw in that little ‘slay’ at the beginning. It doesn’t actually mean anything in this context, its become so redundant in my vocabulary but I use it in probably every sentence anyways. Stay slay though queens xx
TL:DR - My boyfriends mom saw my boobs through the ring doorbell camera, no she doesn’t hate me but im sure my boyfriend got an earful, oops.
RissoldeChocolate: This makes no sense, your boyfriend realised it right away, so why wasnt he the one checking first and deleting the footage, or is his mother contantly in the basement filled with screens monitoring all the cameras in the house? So she just saw it as soon as you did it.
Even if he doesnt have access to the recorded footage, why would his mother decide to look through the footage for no reason: "Oh! let me randomly check yesterday whole 24 hours of video footage!" Maybe instead of watching a soap opera she just spectates doorbell footage...
Edit: Alright kids, I understand everyone has a motion sensitive front door camera and clearly knows very well how they work. Please just stop filling my inbox with the same repetitive explanation.
Horror-Product-2835: you do realise how these things work right? his parents control the app that is connected to their ring doorbell. The ring doorbell notifies them when theres movement by the door. not rocket science
RissoldeChocolate: Thx 5th person to tell me this, thanks very much for the input.
Joe_PM2804: **makes a comment questioning the story**
"Why are you trying to answer my question about the story!!!"
RissoldeChocolate: on my reddit I can see what other people commented so I supposed this guys could see that a lot of people had already answered it.
mstcmc: They're motioned actived
RissoldeChocolate: Omg?!?!?!? again?!? You can't read.... you must be really dumb if you do what I just complained about.
mstcmc: Read what?
RissoldeChocolate: What read?
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1673439583 | 1673478354 | t3_1093d46 | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU BY VOMITING IN CLASS
[removed]
RudeSprinkles1240: Puke happens. The other kids might tease you about it, but they puke too. I doubt it was caused by running to school, though. If so, you'd have vomited much sooner. No telling, though. I hope you feel better.
Thelag1927: Yeah, thanks for the response, but I'm not actually "scared" about the teasing, I'm much more scared about the awkward moment when I'm going to enter the class, I think that it's a good thing if they are going to tease me, it would be much worse if like they are going to act embarrassed in front of me
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1673440972 | 1673467730 | t3_1093sak | t5_2to41 | 91 | pseudo44: TIFU by telling my friends what I think
So basically I (17m) told my two friends (17m and 17f) what I really think of them. Yesterday we went to the theatre for a school trip and since the play started at 19:30 pm I thought maybe when it ended we could eat something together, so I ask them in the morning. They said we'll make you know, and didn't text or call me. So we arrive at the theatre and I ask them if maybe they want to eat with me, and they said no. Ok, I guess. At the end of the play we were going home when a group of their friends asked them if they wanted to eat with them, and they said yes. I saw red. I asked them both to talk in private and told them that I'm tired of begging every time just so that we could maybe spend time together, that are 2 years that I ask them to do something and they always say no. (We had a group chat with other people, and i texted them like once or twice a week for every week and we went to eat something together like 3 times in a year). I'm currently going to a psychologist for this, I have trust issues and I don't know why. But from yesterday night they don't talk to me, and I don't talk to them.
P.s.: They have other friends and go out quite regularly.
P.p.s.: I have other friends in another city.
P.p.p.s.: sorry for bad English
TL;DR: I told my friends I'm tired that they exclude me, and they are not talking to me.
Mordyth: Fuck those guys. They're not friends. You're only 17, go find new mates
pseudo44: Yeah but I am shy and introverted, so finding new friends isn't that easy
maguchifujiwara: Look, as someone who was in your shoes not long ago, it’s not worth going through the pain over and over just to feel the slight chance of happiness is these kinda relationships. Be yourself and true to you and everything else will fall into place eventually.
pseudo44: Thanks, I'll try
Mordyth: If you don't take a stand, you'll be a doormat forever. Learn to do it while you're with these guys do you know how it's done before it's a romantic relationship. Otherwise you'll end up married to someone who makes your life miserable and you'll have no way out
| 6 | 15.166667 |
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1673425206 | 1673778088 | t3_108zlfa | t5_2to41 | 15 | carefullycalculative: TIFU Was making fun of my Ph.D. co-supervisor over chat and ended up sending the text to a group of professors, including my supervisor and co-supervisor.
Hi, I am a Ph.D. student living away from my home state. s I was getting ready to leave for the lab, I sent a message to a homie, A.
The thing is end of this month, people from the campus who are from my community will be celebrating a festival unique to our community. This festival has a religious part where we offer offerings to one of the Gods. But we have yet to find a priest who will be initiating the offering. Now one of our friends, M is also a priest. So I texted H that we could call B by simply paying him a bottle of good whiskey. Since he is living in a different state and his sudden visit will cost a fortune, we can ask X (my co-supervisor) to cover the travel cost. You can understand the language of the text was not particularly formal, and I was using particularly decorative words to address X.
After pressing the send button, I had an internal chuckle, only to have my heartbeat stopping with fear. The message, I assumed went to A's inbox, actually went straight to the WhatsApp group. The WhatsApp group with different senior professors including my Ph.D. supervisor, and my co-supervisor. Between the message being sent and my realization of horror, it would be 2-3 seconds and by the time I rushed to erase the message out of existence, the damage had been done. X had already seen the message. And other professors and fellows did not lose the chance to rub salt in my wounds.
One shy of relief is my supervisor, Z is out of town without any access to his phone. I just want to dig a hole on earth and bury myself, because I do not want to go and talk normally with X just in a couple of minutes.
TL;DR: Was making fun of my co-supervisor on chat with a friend, only to realize the message was sent to a group chat with all professors and both my supervisor.
keithreid-sfw: I assume my trainees mock me. It’s fine. I’m a bit weird.
It’s nature’s way. I mocked my bosses. Was it funny?
carefullycalculative: My mockery?
keithreid-sfw: Yes
carefullycalculative: I had a chuckle while typing. 😝 And everyone else who show it.
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1673443014 | 1673445502 | t3_1094gix | t5_2to41 | 48 | Suitable_Ad_1555: TIFU: I said no to the girl I like
My friends always say I’m lonely, and to joke around with me whenever they find a girl around the track at P.E they tell her I like her. It’s very embarrassing so I stopped walking with them. Then queue this kid, we weren’t really friends at the time I barely knew him. I’m assuming he asked the girl I like (not knowing I like her) to ask me for my number as my friends tried to get her to give me her snap (which she agreed to and me stupidly ignoring it) and as I’m about to go inside to get my stuff and get ready to leave “Hey, Suitable-Ad right? Can I get your number” and after three seconds of silence I said no. This was a few weeks ago I just wanted to post it, she thinks I’m gay, and it’s not fun. I screwed up so badly. I have really bad social anxiety and I’m usually never able to talk to someone else, I literally hit the jackpot and walked away. I hate myself so much.
TL;DR I rejected the girl I like when she asked me for my number.
El_Frencho: Speaking as someone with a almost-but-not-quite similar story, I regret not saying something to this day 20 years later.
Write down your number, and tell her straight up, "The other week, I assumed my friend had put you up to it and had a knee jerk reaction, but if you’re actually interested here’s my number".
Minimal interaction for minimal anxiety, you can even walk away and see what she does after - if she messages you you’ll get her number then, so you don’t even need to ask for it.
If she refuses, that might be embarrassing in the short term but you’ll forget about it soon. But regrets can last much much longer.
Reddit-username_here: Shit, I say go old school and write this on a note and hand it to her and walk away. "I thought my friends were just trying to prank me last time. But if you want my number, it's xxx-xxxx."
Then, if you get a message from her, cool. If you don't, cool. At least you didn't have to hear no in person like she did.
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1673445359 | 1673473739 | t3_1095auy | t5_2to41 | 126 | 420Parent2013: TIFU Because I may have torpedoed a friendhip.
TL;DR- Been paying a friend for rides, she won't lower price so we got behind with her and she threatened to stop helping. I took her up on it.
I have been getting rides from someone I thought was a friend, first just to my child's daycare but then me to work as well. When this started, we (hubby and I) could afford what she was asking, though it was double what we were using. She's a friend and cheaper than a cab, so no biggie. Then I got laid off. We could no longer afford what she was asking, so we asked her to lower it. Nope, no can do. Fine. We managed. Barely. Then we got behind on rent because they raised it AND hubby's hours got less because the jobs slowed down. So we started paying her what we could and she accepted that for a time. We got behind with her too. We owe her around 800. Lately, she's been there, ON payday, with her hand out. I get it, I really do get wanting to be paid. My husband and I have been having fights about paying her because he wants to prioritize back rent (2,900-ish) and I wanted to pay her to get her off my back and because we needed her. Not paying her would make her not want to help us out, obviously. After these fights, we usually gave her something. On to yesterday. We are getting a check from our state for heating help (450-900, not sure if it's per household or per person). We don't pay for heat so we were going to put it right to our back rent. She didn't like that idea and thought that half of it should go to her. She said she'd stop helping us if we didn't do that. Hubby and I talked about it and decided we'd cut cost by keeping our kiddo home and me taking a cab to work. I told her this today and then she started ranting about how she's being used and how could I do this to her and that everyone said we'd screw her over so she shouldn't help us out. She really didn't like it when I said she'd been gouging us despite calling herself my friend. I told her I would continue to pay her what I could until she was paid off, but as of Saturday I didn't need her help anymore. I know that my friendship is likely ruined. I am stuck here wondering if I did the right thing in calling her bluff or if I really fucked up.
Zee_Aye_See_Kay: Pay rent first, homelessness sucks the worst.
Sadly this may be a friendship that gets sacrificed so your not homeless.
I get she wants to be paid, and I know you wanted to pay her, but a real friend (IMHO) would rather eat the 800 if it means their friend keeps their home.
Shorteeby40: Not everyone can afford to just eat $800.
420Parent2013: I'm not asking her to eat the $800, I'm asking her to give us time to pay it instead of demanding we pay her at the expense of our rent.
Shorteeby40: You didn't say that. But the comment I'm responding to said a real friend would eat the $800
420Parent2013: I think a lot of ppl here are getting hung up on this issue. It seems like everyone thinks I haven't been paying her at all and that I plan on not paying ever. That isn't the case at all. 😔
Shorteeby40: How long have you been falling into debt with her?
420Parent2013: Just over 2 months. First I cut out spending $ on coffee before work, then I cut out eating out, then I cut out the pot. I've cut out things we don't need in order to pay her. And it still isn't enough.
Shorteeby40: Yeah you're a dick. All of those things should have stopped the moment you couldn't pay the person helping you out. Not over 2 weeks later. That's disrespectful as fuck. You need to severely apologize to your friend and at least give them something from that extra money you're getting.
And I mean a real apology. Which is 4 parts.
Apologize "I am sorry for _____"
Take responsibility "It's my fault"
Make it right "I will _____"
Ask for forgiveness "Will you forgive me?"
420Parent2013: Week 1-
M-F got coffee twice, not knowing we wouldn't make it. Cut that.
Week 2-
M-F ate out once, not knowing hubs would lose almost that whole week. Fell short, cut that.
Week 3- run out of pot; knowing we are behind w/her, we didn't get any after we ran out, knowing that paying her came first. Took out of rent money to give her at least something.
Week 4- hubs goes on layoff, applies for unemployment. Just my check isn't enough to pay everything. Fell behind more.
Week 5- still no unemployment. Just my check isn't enough. Fall behind even more.
Week 6- finally got unemployment but now we are behind on everything.
So. Please tell me what I should have done that I didn't do. Should I have just not paid any bills except what I owed her? Should I have quit so she didn't have to bring me to work?
nenzkii: You should have stopped “using her service” when you know you couldn’t afford it. I said this because you said she charges double of your initial transport. Why use the more expensive transportation when you’re falling behind payments?
420Parent2013: Because our bus system runs every few hours and the weather isn't conducive to bikes. It was a choice of her or a cab.🤷♀️
nenzkii: You’re comparing the price of her chauffeuring you to your destination in her own car on her personal time vs taking a bus? That’s ridiculous. Gas and maintenance ain’t cheap.
420Parent2013: That's not what I am doing at all. Taking the bus would be cheaper, yes. But the busses only run every few hours. That means 2-3 hours waiting to clock in at work. I'd LOVE it if the busses were more like in cities.
nenzkii: Ah okay cuz you mentioned she charges double of what you were originally paying, so I thought you were insinuating that she charges double of the market price.
| 15 | 8.4 |
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1673447548 | 1673450594 | t3_10964sx | t5_2to41 | 103 | Positive-Situation-9: TIFU by trying to eat better.
This happened yesterday but I am reaping the rewards of The Fuckening today.
—
I’m starting to eat better and by “eat better” I mean eat more vegetables in their raw forms rather than pizza toppings, wrapped in a naan or puréed.
So after doing a little browse of Pinterest I decide I’d make a butter bean, squash & spinach curry.
The butter beans were tinned for convenience. I mean, what can go wrong with tinned beans? Simply drain and whack in the curry!
Cut to 12.30 today and I am shitting through the eye of a needle at work. I’m currently locked in the only working toilet, pants around my ankles, praying no one can hear my entire enteral organ system emptying into the bowl.
After a frantic phone call to a chef friend of mine to find out if I’d prepared a certain veg wrong.. They laughed themselves sick when I told them I didn’t rinse the beans before cooking them.
Apparently a lot can go wrong with tinned beans - if you don’t rinse the bastards.
Update: it’s currently 15:23 and I am still shitting. I have never been so dehydrated.
TLDR; I didn’t rinse my beans before cooking them and now I’m destined to die on the toilet from a horrendous case of liquid shits.
___Phreak___: Why would you put vegetables on a pizza 🙁
GingerIsTheBestSpice: Like... tomatoes? Spinach? Peppers? Onions?
___Phreak___: Well out of those four only onions are tentatively a vegetable. Tomato's and peppers obviously being fruit
Positive-Situation-9: Zucchini is delicious on pizza!
| 5 | 20.6 |
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1673448620 | 1673729412 | t3_1096j0s | t5_2to41 | 4,045 | [deleted]: Tifu by being rusty with sex after a divorce
[removed]
Usagiboy7: Old man bragging about getting with an almost kid. Eww.
Haquestions4: Old woman picking up kid: "You go girl!"
Old man picking up kid: "ew"
Usagiboy7: Both are eww. Abusers of any gender often find targeting younger people easier because the younger people often dont have as well developed red flags for manipulation or other forms of abuse. Various things contribute to unequal power imbalances in such situations. He's divorced, wonder why. And going for a young woman instead of one his own age, wonder why.
The ED is whatever. Plenty of talented sexual partners fuck without either of them having dicks. So, Idgaf about that part.
Haquestions4: Abuser? Wow, that's quite the stretch. Because a person has sex with a younger person? Calling that abuse per se is imo ridiculous.
>He's divorced, wonder why.
Maybe his ex cheated? Maybe she changed with time and they didn't fit together anymore?
It seems like you are implying the divorce was ops fault. Is that because he is a man?
>And going for a young woman instead of one his own age, wonder why.
Probably because good looks and being single are more abundant in people in their twenties than in their thirties.
I don't know what you are trying to say in your last paragraph.
Usagiboy7: I did not say all people who date across age gaps are abusers. Rather, age gaps provide abusers with targets more likely to be vulnerable.
Encouraging people to question why an older person wants to date someone far younger can assist in identifying red flags. (And if you refer back to the opening of my comment, you'll see Ive not given women a free pass.)
Haquestions4: Fair enough, but I'd like to point out that I have given valid reasons for doing so.
According to the now deleted post she even said she had a thing for older men.
BTW, op said "in her 20s", not 20
Usagiboy7: So, she has a thing for older men... part of why age gaps are concerning is because younger people havent had the same amount of time to develop red flags for identifying power imbalances, and all the myriad forms of abuse.
My sister dated a 21yo when she was 13. The onus was on the 21yo to know better. (Edit, he did know better. He didnt care.)
The onus was on the 38yo to know that age gaps disportionately leave the younger partner most vulnerable and to decline to date her.
I'll grant that "20s" is vague. Maybe she was 20. Maybe she was 29. On the off chance she was closer to 20, it is worth stating concerns. Readers who are closer to 20 may encounter considerations they hadnt before. And if I could have read such when I was that age, Id have made different choices. I cant time travel. I can only offer what I wish had been offered to me, the chance to question a bit more deeply what about me had attracted people so much older. It wasnt my "maturity", which at the time had tickled my ego to hear.
And as a former forum moderator for a different website, I observed a dizzying number adults say the same thing to the literal 10 year olds they were very intent on manipulating. "You're so mature."
There are some mature people in their 20s. What does that even mean to the person giving the complement? Wise financial decisions? Skillfully engages, rather than avoids conflict? Is a knowledgeable social negotiator? Can identify 20+ types of abuse and the early warning signs? Has healthy boundaries (knows what healthy boundaries even are) and successfully enforces them? Has a thorough grasp of consent beyond just the realm of sex? Grasps the power dynamics of situations, rather than just accepting them at face value? Has high context literacy? Hopefully, all of the above. Realistically, "mature" is often (not always) used as a code word for direct conflict-averse, agreeable, polite, and self-sacrificing. (A non-exhaustive list.). These are four traits that abusers find highly exploitable.
When people are willing to discuss, in-depth, some of the concerns about age gap dating, we can arrive, I believe, at the conclusion that not all age gap relationships are evil or harmful. But that the potential is so very high, and not only potential, but incidents too, that it is better to scrutinize them as a society and teach our children and each other to think critically before entering such a relationship, than shrug or look away because "age is just a number" (as I was told in my teens and 20s).
Edited lightly for clarity.
Haquestions4: I'd argue that 21 and 13 is way different than 38 and twenty-something. Both are adults and it's not on the older partner to decline sex because of another adults age. They weren't in a relationship, there are no red flags if all you both want is sex.
I absolutely agree with all you are saying concerning kids (and I think your sister might have been together with a pedo, sorry for that, honestly), but we are talking about adults who want to bang.
>Realistically, "mature" is often (not always) used as a code word for direct conflict-averse, agreeable, polite, and self-sacrificing.
I might misunderstand you here but this strikes me a as odd because to me mature means the exact opposite of all of that (except politeness).
I understand your issues with age gap *dating*, but we aren't talking about dating.
Usagiboy7: It was not intended as a absolute equivalent, but a partial one. The relevant information is that the onus is on one with more experience.
Re pedo, oh definitely. My uncle murdered the guy for it, brought her home, then ducked out of state. (I was 9ish at the time. My Uncle has since died.)
Re definitions of mature, indeed, my first list is what I find indicative of maturity, not the second. But the second list are behaviors I was regularly complimented on/praised for maturity when I was younger, not just by older people who wanted to date me, but many members of the churches I attended back then as well.
Re dating/hookups, power imbalances exist in both. Why is an older person wanting to have sex with someone whose bedroom communication skills, including boundaries and self-advocacy are potentially 10 years behind?
(I consider age gaps less concerning when the younger person is out of their 30s, just for clarity. Of course, there are always other factors. But that is an aside.)
| 10 | 404.5 |
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1673458182 | 1673483692 | t3_109ael6 | t5_2to41 | 266 | Defiant-Button15: TIFU by letting my dog and my husband leave for 6 weeks
I will start with the obligatory didn’t happen today but I realized the extent of my FU today.
My husband is gone for a short work placement in a different country and my dog will be with the in-laws until just before he gets back (for various reasons, the main one being he’s happier there than he is at home with just me). So it’s just me and the cat at home. This is where the FU is.
He’s become incredibly needy since my husband is no longer working from home all day and the dog isn’t around to play with. He has decided he needs constant attention when I am home. He meows at me constantly to sit down when I’m busy. He must be laying on me whenever I am sitting down. I no longer have any personal space. I can’t eat without him on my lap. He sleeps on me all night. He doesn’t get off me unless I move him off. This is only week 1. I have another 5 weeks of being smothered by the cat.
TL;DR: my husband and dog are away for 6 weeks and I now have an incredibly needy cat that won’t leave me alone for 5 minutes.
EDIT: I absolutely love my cat (he moved countries with me!) He is 100% missing the dog but the dog is happier at the in-laws (they are home all day, they have 2 other dogs and spoil him). I play with him every night and give him easily 2-3 hours of cuddles. I just want to be able to eat my supper without a cat on my lap and it’s easier to fall asleep without a giant ginger fluff ball on my chest 😂
staunchgoblin: Maybe try some Feliway spray. It helps kitties relax and you don't smell it. It's diffuses the pheromones from mother cats scent glands and makes kitties feel safe and loved.
anxiety_queen21: aw i want this so i can spray it around the house when i leave and they wont be sad
staunchgoblin: https://www.feliway.com/ca_en/Buy?product=54365
Its pretty reasonable for kitties happiness :)
anxiety_queen21: thank you!!
| 5 | 53.2 |
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1673450611 | 1673523069 | t3_1097axb | t5_2to41 | 252 | [deleted]: TIFU update! Slept Through Job Interview
[deleted]
salsanacho: In addition to multiple alarms, I'd also ask a trusted human to give you a call at a certain time, to ensure you're ready to go.
IamMooz: Sounds like that episode on Seinfeld where Jerry is in-charge of getting the marathon runner to the race on time.
M4GN3T1CM0N0P0L3: Jean Paul?
| 4 | 63 |
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1673459829 | 1673463408 | t3_109b3y5 | t5_2to41 | 32 | hornyromelo: TIFU by punching my mom in the face.
(Obligatory disclaimer that this happened years ago, not today)
My 2 brothers used to "prank" me by waking me up out of my sleep for no reason and then laughing at me from when I was like 10-15. After some time, I began to respond with your standard sibling violence.
But over time, waking up out of my sleep and immediately fighting a 1v2 gave me an involuntary punch reflex while walking up.
How did I find out? You read the title.
I punched my mom once when I was like 12 or 13, and she took it with good humor, because she literally could tell I was unconscious.
She knew what my brothers had been up to, and made the connection herself.
I know there's going to be doubters, those who think that I was awake and willingly punched her and then blamed it on the fact that I was asleep.
Hell, I was worried that she was going to be one of them, because my mother was quite physically abusive and she was type to beat us for any perceived slight. Real, or imagined.
She was headed to wake me up to ask me where something was, and had thusly intended to gently shake my shoulder and say my name. She wasn't one to wake us up aggressively, due to her father waking his kids up *with a beating.* She would at least wake us up, then accuse us, then beat us.
On this occasion, I hadn't done anything wrong, she just had a question for me. But after the first shake she got beamed, even though I was turned the other way with my eyes closed at 5am. I still didn't wake up.
After she finally managed to wake me up, she told me and I was **horrified!**
She, astoundingly, found it hilarious and even congratulated me on my power. She said it was closer to her experiences being punched in the face by men than by women, despite my being smaller than her. Like 4'11, maybe 90lbs.
I was just relieved! XD
Oh, and she even got my brothers to lay off a little. Instead of everyday, it was maybe once or twice a week.
TL:DR I was asleep and did it by accident. She thought it was funny
___Phreak___: TIL OP's mother abused him because her father abused her
ThoughtfulPoster: I think OP is female, based on the story and phrasing.
hornyromelo: Nah, male
| 4 | 8 |
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1673462729 | 1673482809 | t3_109cdtj | t5_2to41 | 22 | HashtagNAFO: TIFU by telling a new coworker to "man up".
Context: Working in a "Big-Box Store" warehouse with a crew of 10-12 guys per shift, loading and unloading trucks all day, with no air conditioning or cooling of any kind and often in 100+ degree heat, we developed something of a sense of humor.
Trucks were constantly coming in, the forklift operators were always AWOL, truckloads could be anything from clothing to iron bars to screwdrivers or hammers, and trucks could contain anything from neat rows of palletized goods to a total shambles of hundreds of boxes in a 53-foot-long heap of total disorder. The situation was always hectic. We received crates and boxes of all kinds, usually without any markings of any kind on the packages, beyond a serial number. Point is, you had no idea what was going to happen from hour to hour.
Two more points, for context:
1) You could easily have two identical-looking boxes or crates, both the same size and shape, but with one weighing 25 pounds and the other weighing 200+ pounds or more. You wouldn't know which it was, until you tried to pick it up.
2) Management routinely gave us impossible or unsafe tasks, without any indication of the impossibility prior to the task being attempted, e.g., carrying 50 crates up a 25-foot high ladder while balancing one or two crates at a time on your shoulders, climbing with just your legs up the ladder to a half-floor while trying your best to maintain balance and not plummet off the ladder and onto the concrete warehouse floor below.
Balancing your way up a 25-foot ladder is much more easily done with a pair of 30-pound boxes on each shoulder than it is with a 90+-pound crate on one. But we were constantly taking the risk, because management LOVED to chew out anyone "refusing an assignment". You were in for trouble if you couldn't do it, and more than one "refusal" could mean termination. Beginning the setup for disaster: we were constantly cycling in new temp workers, completely untrained, some of whom were in decent physical shape, and some of whom were just the opposite - the definition of an "impossible" task was up to individual discretion. If you thought you could do the task, no one stopped you from trying it.
Here's where things go wrong. As stated above, we had a sense of humor about things. At this job, if someone enthusiastically encouraged you to "man up" about a task, this was code for "this object is far too heavy for an individual to move - get a pallet jack and wait for the rest of the team to help you, or team-lift it". Or alternatively, depending on the degree of obvious sarcasm, "man up" could mean "this is an impossible task; wait until we figure out what we're doing about it."
My fuckup was assuming that a relatively new coworker knew the code. He did not know the code. So up he goes, up the ladder with a crate that he couldn't handle. He's not in particularly good physical shape, and has only been on the job for a week or so. He's breathing hard and doesn't hear the grumbles of "maybe you shouldn't do that" from the ground. He's breathing very hard, but making unsteady progress.. until he ascends nearly to the top of the ladder, and his chin rises above the floor of the half-floor, which is covered by a thick sheet of dust, sawdust, grime, and who-knows-what. He inhales, chokes violently, loses footing, and down he goes. The ironic use of "man up" ended that day.
-
TL;DR - Jokingly told a new coworker to "man up" about completing an obviously dangerous task. Coworker doesn't realize that "man up", at our job, is a sort of ironic code phrase meaning "wait for help" and attempts the task on his own, injuring himself severely in the process.
-
(Inspired by the current post on page 1 of r/all, regarding "manning someone up")
Dopecombatweasel: Sounds like the category of shit I dealt with in landscaping. Never again. Funny as long as the guy was ok.
HashtagNAFO: Not sure the extent of injuries, but he was conscious again pretty quickly (within 90 seconds for sure) and was talking when the ambulance took him. I never saw him again, and we were never 'updated' by the company about his condition, but I assume he got through it. Plusses and minuses to having a sense of humor on a job site, I guess. I just felt really bad about it for a while.
Dopecombatweasel: That's good. I give the guy respect for manning up though lol. It is what it is. I understand feeling that way. I would too
| 4 | 5.5 |
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1673464300 | 1673497930 | t3_109d26l | t5_2to41 | 943 | DarkoEnterprises: TIFU by taking edging to a dangerous new level
Obligatory this happened quite some time ago. I was fresh out of high school and going to college, when I decided to finally try online dating. I was never very lucky with the ladies, and the fact that I have a wife now just blows my mind everyday. At this point though, I had minimal experience and was a tiny bit desperate. But alas, my persistence paid off and I managed to land a date. Being naive as I was, I missed a truckload of red flags that would have told me I was fishing in the psych ward, but that's a story for another TIFU.
The first couple dates went fine by my then very misinformed self, and she then invited me to her place. Boys, I had done it. I was about to trade in the V card. I started things off by bringing over a wildly inappropriate movie to watch (I hope they serve beer in hell), and then planned my next moves. Well, she decided to take over and things escalated quite quickly. We got to the point where the clothes were gonna come off, when she stopped me and said she's not quite ready yet. Fine by me, I'm still enjoying myself.
This goes on for a while; Do everything possible with clothes still on and as soon as I make a move to take things further, she throws it in reverse. I'm one to respect boundaries, but after a couple hours of this I can't take it anymore. I tell her I have to get going and leave her house with an absolute clinical case of blue balls. It was brutal. I lived almost an hour away, so by the time I got home on terrible winter roads I was exhausted and my excitement had faded enough I decided to just go to bed.
The next morning I had scheduled a three day trip to go to a hunting camp to fix some cabins. Not sure if you've ever been, but it's a log hut filled with dudes with the only real privacy being a reeking unheated outhouse in the dead of winter. Not exactly conducive to spanking one out. Upon returning home, I was more than ready to have some "me time".
I started my ritual, and noticed a bit of discomfort. Nothing too bad to make me stop, but it was a tad bit concerning. Carrying on, it began getting worse but I wasn't about to do the same thing to myself as she had done to me a few days prior so I was determined to complete the task. As the magic moment was upon me, an absolutely searing pain washed over my lower body and my vision flashed white. It felt like someone jammed a white hot fire poker in my manhood. As my vision returned and the pain subsided I looked down to find what I can only describe as a large, disgusting jelly bean. I was so confused in my pain induced delirium, but I began to piece the situation together. The night of disappointment had resulted in a large buildup of "product" that was never shipped off, and the three days had given it ample time to form into the absolute worst Bertie Bot's Every Flavoured Bean you could imagine.
I have since made sure nothing like this ever happened again, and my heart goes out to anyone who's ever dealt with bladder or kidney stones because I'm sure I just got a slight sampling of what that hell must feel like.
Tl;DR: went on a date and experienced the worst blue-balling of my life, neglected the issue and paid for it dearly afterwards.
Oddlot0930: I'm pretty sure that's not how that's supposed to work. You should see a doctor.
DarkoEnterprises: Probably should have. Like I said, happened a long time ago and hasn't happened since. And I'm an idiot
Oddlot0930: That doesn't mean the problem is gone. You could still have an undiagnosed issue that could be problematic in the future. Get yourself checked out
Ok_Lifeguard_6508: What is OP supposed to do? Make an appointment to tell his Dr about a bad wank he had 20 years ago?
Oddlot0930: Yes, that would be how you would inform your doctor.
Ok_Lifeguard_6508: r/woosh
| 7 | 134.714286 |
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1673469697 | 1673520690 | t3_109fccu | t5_2to41 | 18,198 | carrot_man_tifu: TIFU by holding a grudge for 29 years against a kid at school who called me "Carrot Boy"
The names including my own have been modified to false names.
About 29 years ago I was in the third grade. I took one of the carrot packs out of my lunch box, the kind that came with a little cup of ranch dressing. All of the sudden this kid Balthasar said "Hey everyone look, Tim is a Carrot Boy!" Everyone at the whole lunch table started to laugh. I couldn't believe it.
For some reason, that incident really stuck with me. Nobody really brought it up again, but I became self-conscious in elementary school for eating carrots. Later, I lost the self consciousness, but all through school and into adulthood I always thought of that and built it up in my head as this big disrespectful insult to me. Whenever I eat carrots, the memory pops up, basically involuntarily. Whenever I see carrots I remember Balthasar going "Hey everyone look, Tim is a Carrot Boy!" And hear the laughter.
What you should know is that I am from a small town, and although I left a lot of the kids I knew are still there. I saw that over the holidays there was an impromptu high school reunion event scheduled. I decided to show up, I haven't seen these people regularly in a long time.
Well who should be there but Balthasar? All of the sudden the old anger welled up in me. I don't know what I was thinking, it seems so ridiculous now, but I saw a big tray of carrots meant for everyone at the buffet table, and I picked up the entire tray and carried it to Balthie's table. I started eating carrots angrily. Everyone at the table and surrounding tables was staring at me. I then said "Guess I'm still a Carrot Boy, huh??!"
I almost immediately realized my fuck up when everyone looked at me like I was insane and had no idea what I was referencing. So I awkwardly asked Baltho and the other people around if they remembered him calling me a carrot boy in third grade, and nobody did. So I was like "This did happen, you really did call me a carrot boy." And he was like "Uh...okay? Sorry man?" Somebody next to me put their hand on my arm and whispered to me "Are you okay?", as if I was having a mental breakdown or something.
I was so embarrassed that I just got up and left. Multiple people have texted me asking me if I am alright, and why did I do that, and did I really hold a grudge for some "innocuous, silly remark that a third grader made almost thirty years ago?"
When it was put to me like that, I realized maybe I was the one being weird. Balthasar wasn't like a bully or something, aside from that one insult he never did anything else to me and in high school was kind of known as being a do-gooder. I had built it up as this major incident but nobody else even remembered it.
I was horrified to find that several people from the reunion unfriended me on Facebook, and I saw photos of the event and somebody had tagged me in the background as "Carrot Boy", and none other than Balthasar responded to the post asking the poster to remove the tag, even though several other people had replied with laugh emoji's.
Now I feel like I have made a huge fool of myself and can never show myself in this town again. Well, maybe that's okay, I don't like the town anyways. But I am so embarrassed I can hardly sleep and it has been a few weeks since the incident. Oh god.
TL;DR - In third grade this kid called me "Carrot Boy" and I have had a grudge about it ever since and I made a fool of myself at a reunion.
micahfett: Well, a couple of things.
Firstly, I'll say that it's good that you are able to (now) look at the entire situation objectively and see it for what it is. If we were all held accountable for the unkind things we said in 3rd grade we'd all be found wanting.
As a follow on, I'll say - with no judgement - that you may benefit from speaking with a therapist. Holding onto a hurt feeling isn't totally unreasonable but your actions at the reunion suggest you may not cope well with certain social pressures and a therapist could help you understand and approach this.
It would probably be particularly useful at this time as you may have just set yourself up for another 30-years lingering social embarrassment if you can't find a good way to process it.
I hope the best for you and appreciate your honesty in not blaming others in this story and turning the mirror on yourself; that alone is an ability many people lack.
cliffordc5: Also no judgement but, if you were holding on to this since you were…8? And you’re now…how old? If you’re in your late 30’s now and still upset by something like this, to that degree, yes. Please seek professional help, holding on to anger like that is very detrimental.
Edit to add: “Also”
TeamAlibi: Feel like you really just reworded what they said with more emphasis on how dramatically out of place the behavior is, which just seems shitty
theonethinginlife: It was more like re-emphasizing the point - it went from "Hey, you might be hanging onto stuff" to "You need to talk to someone about the stuff you're hanging onto"
TeamAlibi: > but your actions at the reunion suggest you may not cope well with certain social pressures and a therapist could help you understand and approach this.
> It would probably be particularly useful at this time as you may have just set yourself up for another 30-years lingering social embarrassment if you can't find a good way to process it.
They also wrote the "You need to talk to someone about the stuff you're hanging onto and to prevent any new things you might hang onto", so I mean idk. Like I wouldn't have felt like it was tactless if it was the only message, but since it's just reiterating with a lot of ellipses, saying "please seek professional help" and how what they're doing is detrimental, it just seems like the only possible thing it could do is make them feel worse and not add anything
Hell, some people need that extra notch to push them over the line and commit to efforts on changing. It's not like you're a complete asshole. Just seemed a bit much and felt like commenting, I'm probably an asshole too
/e I didn't even check either, you're not even the person I replied to so what I said was at them anyway, except for the part where I pointed out that they actually still didn't re-emphasize anything. They doubled down after too, they were trying to be more aggressive about how ridiculous the behavior is for the sake of being a dick to OP. Regardless of anything else, that intent would make it bad. But the wording was also bad.
cliffordc5: I was agreeing with the original comment. It’s just that OP is like 36 years old. Even if he was holding a grudge, doing what he did is ridiculous. Just…seek help. That’s all. Nothing more.
TeamAlibi: So yeah, just being shitty to emphasize.
Doubling down on that part really just takes away all my benefit of the doubt and goes back to what I originally said. All you did was use the original comment as a platform to be a dick to OP.
Gratz, success.
mahones403: There's 1 person being ass and it's not the person you responded to. You're like OP, just let it go man.
TeamAlibi: lmao responding to a comment in a way you didn't agree with is equivalent to someone holding onto a childhood moment for 30 years
i really hope you didn't take some time writing that one
| 10 | 1,819.8 |
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1673471575 | 1673548420 | t3_109g57d | t5_2to41 | 56 | tpb772000: TIFU by driving my old truck to work.
As the title states I drove my old truck to work today.
I have been driving my daily car a lot here recently and decided to change it up by driving my old truck which I usually only drive around town or on Sunday.
All was well in the beginning, but half way to work I got stuck in a traffic jam. Due to the rising sun, and rush hour there was a 6 car pile up on the highway and this caused a huge backup.
As I was waiting in the traffic and inching forward slowly but surely I began to get really drowsy. I also began to have a headache.
The longer I waited the worse the headache got and the more drowsy I got. It was to the point to where I felt as if I had went bar hopping last night and caught 2 hours of sleep. Once I came to a complete stop and the next thing I know the guy behind me is honking and the car infront of me is several car links ahead.
It was at this moment I knew something was up, I signaled over and pulled over on the side of the highway by an exit.
I pulled over to gather my self and to see what the hell was the matter. Or to call my wife and tell her but the next thing I know, time has jumped 3 hours forward and I am still on the highway. Still feeling like shit I called my boss and told him I was not coming in (his reply: I figured that 2 hours ago).
Went home and immediately fell asleep. My wife woke me up wondering why I was not at work and what's wrong, I told her what happened and \*lovingly\* she said you idiot you gave yourself carbon dioxide poisoning.
Still feel kinda weak, headache went away and I will NOT be taking my truck anywhere without getting it checked for a leak.
TL:DR I drove my old truck to work, got caught in a traffic jam and gave myself carbon dioxide poising.
edit: carbon monoxide. not dioxide.
sasanessa: You should go to the hospital. You can retain co2 and die from that. You need an arterial blood gas
tpb772000: I did go and get checked out after my mother in law told me if I do not go she will personally call an ambulance.
My levels were pretty high he said, but not too bad. He recommended I get a lot of fresh air next couple of days and try not to sniff any exhausts.
My wife bought me a 2 pack of boost air for me to use for the next day just to make sure.
All good, they did some test, doc said I am good and that if I did not turn the truck off before passing out I probably would have died.
He did tell me no exercising and to take it easy and try not to hold my breath a lot for the next week.
sasanessa: Oh good. I’m glad you’re ok.
tpb772000: thanks!
| 5 | 11.2 |
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1673472800 | 1673477392 | t3_109go85 | t5_2to41 | 20 | Elkie_Kaibu: TIFU by not using the shower curtain properly
So this happened yesterday, but I remembered that this sub exists so I feel compelled to share it here. We have two bathrooms on the second floor, the master and guest bathroom. My fiance (M34) was trying to fix the showerhead in the master bathroom in the morning (it was leaking for no reason in the middle of the night, and when he tried to fix it by replacing it with a different, heavier showerhead we had lying around, it wasn't working properly since whoever installed the shower pieces had some weird arm attachment so that the showerhead was further from the wall, but the replacement we used wouldn't be supported) so I (F30) chose to use the guest bathroom to shower since I am impatient and didn't want to wait for him to finish fiddling with it.
So the guest bathroom only had one shower curtain (normally there's two, the pretty decorated kind and then the ugly or clear one that actually sits on the inside of the tub, to keep the water from splashing everywhere). We moved into this house in 2021 and this single shower curtain was already here, I didn't bother to swap it with ones I had since nobody would be using this shower anytime soon. I didn't bother to just use the one shower curtain properly (as in, having it sit on the inside of the tub to keep the water from splashing out) because I am an idiot, so I took my 15/20 minute shower and was not surprised to see water all over the floor. It's fine, nothing a few towels can't mop up.
I get dressed and finish my morning routine, as I head downstairs I hear a suspicious dripping sound coming from downstairs. I go and see a bucket is catching drops of water from the ceiling. My fiance is turning off the water to the house (we live in a townhome, so the shut off valve is in the basement) and I am trying to understand what is happening. Did a pipe burst? We haven't used that shower ever, I know my fiance also took a shower in the master bath while I was showering, did that cause a problem?
So we get a plumber to the house. They cut off two spots in the ceiling on the first floor to look for the leak or damage to the pipes. Nothing. It's dry, there's no leaky pipes. They run every troubleshooting procedure and we have no idea why we had water dripping from our ceiling. I did mention to the plumber about the mess I made this morning, but it wasn't that much water, it was easily cleaned up. Well, when the second plumber arrived (I assume it was the first plumbers superior?) After he found out about the spilled water from my shower, he asked us to spill water again, maybe there is a crack in the bathroom floor. This had not occured to us as a possibility. So, when we dumped more water on the floor, and it started to drip from the ceiling on the first floor, we were all quite surprised to find out that there really was some sort of crack. Turns out, whoever installed the sink vanity for that bathroom didn't install the baseboard underneath the sink vanity or something - there was a crack, essentially.
So now we have two holes in the ceiling waiting to be fixed, (they did fix the crack that is in that bathroom at least) and the master bathroom shower is still leaking and causing problems, so that will get replaced eventually as well.
TLDR: I spilled a bunch of water on the bathroom floor and it leaked through an unknown crack from a sink that was not properly installed, making us think we busted a pipe.
SnooBunnies7461: Well at least you know what was causing the leak. So many corners are cut by builders especially with condos and townhouses. I guess the good news is its a pretty easy fix and once done you should be good to go.
Elkie_Kaibu: Yes, that is the positive from this experience. We are renting, so our landlord is pissed that whoever did the inspection before he bought it did a shit job. We learned that when we buy a house, we will get on our knees and check every nook and cranny!
| 3 | 6.666667 |
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1673472316 | 1673571552 | t3_109ggn8 | t5_2to41 | 12 | Key_Formal_9368: TIFU by letting my ex go
I (M32) had been in a relationship for 3 years with my ex (F27). Before I get into the whole break up situation I will mention that we started dating when she was only 23 which would make me 28 att. The first half of our relationship was going pretty well but last few months were very stressful. You could say it was the right person wrong time situation. Fast forward to the break up which ended up being a big mess but I ended it on my terms and didn't feel I wanted to get back with her until recently I saw her new insta post. We haven't been in contact for a while now. At the beginning of break up I felt that's what I wanted s I didn't see myself being compatible with her anymore. We were fighting quite a lot and she was going through some things as well. I decided to call it off and give it some time however she still had feelings for me and gas a full on mental breakdown. While I understand she was hurt by my decision about breaking up I wished she had handled it with little more understanding. I would like to believe I am among those folks who can't handle overtly emo people and si decided I wanted to be with someone who is calmer and knows how to handle things more naturally. Now the major issue after all this. I have had couple of hook ups and been on couple of dates but nothing compares to her. I never thought after so long of having no feelings for her, I would be staying awake thinking if there's a possibility to go back to being together. The more I go out with other people the more I realized how much I miss her. Looking back it feels like I had been quite strict towards her and somewhat judgy. She never mistreated me even during those fights. We would always console each other at the end. She was extremely emotional person and that made me distance myself from her. However now I do realize she is relatively younger than me and her way of coping was to cry my heart out to me. Anyways, I just feel I lost something precious and have nowhere else to express these thoughts. I just really wana be with her take care of her and never let go. How do I handle this situation ? What would you guys do ?
TL;DR
Apollo_3249: Yeah I think a lot of us can relate. If you’re still Insta friends would it be out of line to shoot her a message? Let her know that you needed some space and pick her brain about how she feels about how it ended, maybe she feels similar. Assuming you guys are cool that is
Key_Formal_9368: I do want to reconnect but we did not leave on good terms. I completely avoided any contacts from her. Now I feel extremely guilty to reach out to her in case she has already moved on with someone. But I still wana give it a try and don't know how to approach with a proper apology.
Apollo_3249: Personally I’d handle it a couple ways if I were you, maybe I can help.
Maybe start by asking how she’s been, if you get the vibe she’s friendly you could try writing it out. use the notepad on your phone to make edits and lay it all out there; how you feel, your aspirations between the two of you and see how she responds.
Or perhaps ask her if she wants to meet up for a cup of coffee or a beer depending on your guys lifestyle if she agrees you know she’s not too bitter I suppose but use that opportunity to let her know how you feel face to face
Don’t live in regret by doing nothing though. I feel since you’re the one who needed space it’s appropriate for you to reach out, if it were reversed and she needed space I’d be reluctant to reach out
Key_Formal_9368: Thanks a lot. I will definitely first dm her with a text asking her about her well being. Then if she corresponds I would ask if she thinks it is ok to meet for a cup of tea. I do agree with you I don't to regret not even trying at least once.
| 5 | 2.4 |
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1673472607 | 1674168331 | t3_109gl2w | t5_2to41 | 10 | throwaway-_654: TIFU by ruining a song for myself
Have you ever ruined something for yourself? My story involves me being dumb tbh. So I'm a Tech N9ne fan, and an Eminem fan. For the longest time I hoped they would do a track together! This finally happened in the shape of speedom, and it's a great track. I listened to it and was happy but then I found out that Eminem had been paid a large sum to be on the track (obviously). Now here's where it gets dumb, I was disappointed! I was all "Yea its good and all but he had to pay for it so that's not great, Em didn't really want to do it". The dumbest words to ever come out of my mouth, well not thee dumbest but you get it. Obviously he would be paid, artists don't just go around throwing out freebies all over the place, but he can still choose not to do the track if he didn't want to! This led to years of me refusing to listen to it until I realised the true depth of my stupidity. But now when I listen to that track that's all I can think about and a wave of shame washes over me, this means I can't enjoy it and have ruined something I wanted to have for ages for myself. I'm hoping I'm not alone in my stupidity here. Please feel free to roast me about this.
TL:DR I'm an idiot who didn't realise how basic business works and tainted a great song in my own head.
LurksAroundHere: Eh don't worry about it, it was an innocent mistake. Holding off from listening to the song kept it fresh until now so you can still enjoy it.
I'd say the absolute WORST way to ruin a song you like is to set it as your alarm clock. Seriously, don't do it. You will Pavlov yourself into *hating* whichever song you pick, even if it's your favorite.
k0if1sh: easy, pick a song you already hate
| 3 | 3.333333 |
|
1673476912 | 1673479465 | t3_109idyj | t5_2to41 | 52 | Arcinbiblo12: TIFU by throwing away my gift for my gf's birthday.
My gf (22f) and I, (22m) both have birthdays in January. We decided to pool our money together and go on a short getaway to celebrate. We also decided to get each other a small gift as well. I get very stressed about finding people the perfect gift, so despite it being a small part of her birthday I wanted to make it special.
So with this in mind, I bought her gift way back at the beginning of December when I did my Christmas shopping. I bought her a pair of earnings from a local artist. They were gold colored and had a tiny pink pressed flower in the middle coated in resin. They were $28 and I knew she'd love them.
Now on to the FU. On Christmas day, after opening up presents, I did a bunch of cleaning and garbage collection throughout the house. During this cleaning, I accidentally threw the bag I'd put the earrings in into the trash. I'd even put them in a flashy polkadot gift bag and set it on my desk, far away from all the other Christmas trash. Flash forward to the other day and I'm packing for our trip. I go to grab the polkadot bag and it's not there. I tear my home apart and it's nowhere to be found. The earrings are probably in our local dump by now.
In an attempt to fix my fu, I contacted the artist who'd made the earrings to buy a replacement. Unfortunately, they were out of town for a while so I wouldn't get them in time. So as a second option, I went on to Amazon to see what I could find to try to salvage this blunder. In my search, I came across a cat bed that looked like a shark, two things my gf is very passionate about. (Cats and sharks) I order it and Amazon says it should arrive soon, perfect. Yesterday the bed arrived, I got it all wrapped up and purdy, but a few hours later I get a text from my gf. It's a photo of her cat in a brand new flower shaped bed that her parents had gifted her. It had arrived at the same time mine had...
This isn't as big of a FU as me throwing away the earrings, but it was disappointing on my end. I'm sure she and her cat will love it, but getting two similar gifts is a bit underwhelming.
We leave for our mini-trip tomorrow and I know it'll go well. It's the main gift to each other so this present fiasco really isn't that big of a deal, but it definitely caused me a lot more stress than I'd wanted. If her cat accepts her 2nd new bed, I'll be sure to update with pics of her.
TLDR: Bought my girlfriend nice earrings for her birthday, but accidentally threw them away with Christmas wrapping garbage. I then bought her a cute cat bed as a replacement gift, only for her to receive one as a gift from her parents.
nuadusp: If you have the money to get the gift again say this is a temporary gift because the other one got delayed out of your control and the actual present comes later
Arcinbiblo12: That is a good idea, but the artist said I wouldn't get them until mid-March. He said he'd sell them to me at a discount so I may take him up on it and use them for our anniversary this spring.
I'll definitely be putting them in a heavily marked container this time.
| 3 | 17.333333 |
|
1673480349 | 1673529187 | t3_109jrwp | t5_2to41 | 1,450 | Reasonable-Voice7381: TIFU by not noticing my vibrator turned on by itself
I (18F) have a really small, really shitty, really LOUD vibrator. Honestly, I'm in college, it's what I could afford. I used it yesterday, no need to go into detail there, but I must've done something wrong when I put it away. Today I woke up feeling sick, which I'm going to blame for not noticing, around the time my mom came home from work I went upstairs to my room to avoid getting her sick too and there was this strange noise. It sounded like someone was drilling through concrete and I thought "Oh, just my luck, the neighbor is feeling crafty" and kept using my phone.
A couple minutes later my mom comes in asking what the hell is that noise, which is when I realize it's coming from inside my room. My first thought was "Holy shit, the outlet is on fire" (again, I'm sick) so I jump out of my bed and start looking for sparks. Meanwhile, my mom has located the source of the noise as my wood dresser where I keep my vibe and asks, hopefully innocently but realistically I know she could tell, "Why is this vibrating?".
I swear my stomach left my body, I stuck my hand in there and sure enough the damn thing was going by itself. I reach in blindly to try and turn it off without taking it out of the drawer because my mom is still standing right behind me with a weirded out look on her face. I manage to stop it, unconvingly say something along the lines of "Wow that was weird haha" and try to usher her out of my room. When she's almost gone, it turns on again, I jump back and reach in again to pry the damn batteries off and this time successfully kick her out.
I'm mortified, it was very obvious what it was. I hope she doesn't think we need to have a conversation about it. She's never been the snooping type but I think I'm gonna move it anyway just to be safe.
&#x200B;
TL;DR My vibrator loudly turned on by itself and my mother noticed before I did.
ac2cvn_71: Your mom probably has a better one
carollpg: I gave my mom a vibrator a couple of years ago when she was a bit depressed during covid. It definitely helped!
MeltingMoment8: Idk why you are getting down voted, older people and parents have needs like everyone else and often are far too nervous to purchase a sex toy for themselves and I think being sex positive and helping your mumma out is great! Also regular orgasms are great for mental health and stress relief so like I just don't understand why people would down vote?
I
Kinetekerz: Orgasms are great... but not in the same sentence as talking about your Mum.
Ngl it brings about a subconscious image that I'd really rather not imagine!
basicdesires: >Orgasms are great... but not in the same sentence as talking about your Mum.
Newsflash: Your Mum had SEX to make you...!😳😱
Kinetekerz: My man, orgasm's and sex aren't necessarily a prerequisite.
Do you tell your coworkers you just had a steaming shit? No.
There are some details in life that you leave out of conversations despite them happening lol.
| 7 | 207.142857 |
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1673481133 | 1673486484 | t3_109k2zl | t5_2to41 | 10 | HeldByTheHeal: TIFU (almost) by asking a woman where her parents lived
[removed]
Warm_metal_revival: I love this story so much and can’t wait to hear the updates.
HeldByTheHeal: I'm in my late 30s and not into social media, but have an FB account and an IG dummy account (for looking up the myriad of mentioned IG accounts on dating profiles if there's more substance to them than just that). On FB, she has one thousand *followers*. Go to my IG dummy account; she has fourteen *thousand* followers. As aforementioned, not into social media, but I know that's a ridiculous amount.
Am going to keep the texting minimal until I get back from my trip in two weeks, at which point I'm going to ask her when she's free for drinks (she's from and lives in the city we met in, my parents are retired in same city, I live a state over but am currently going through the licensing process for my veterinary career.
| 3 | 3.333333 |
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1673481998 | 1673486943 | t3_109kfrt | t5_2to41 | 22 | Tux_Lugia: TIFU scammed out of $2000
*NSFW*
During winter classes in college I met this girl who was honestly really cool and pretty. We would text almost everyday but when classes ended she was slowly starting to text me less and less. I felt the distance between us growing and I didn’t know what to do. So I decided to just ask her out on a date but she rejected me saying she wanted to focus on school which I understood. But in that anguish of rejection I downloaded dating apps to occupy my mind.
On one of the apps I saw this girl who had her Snapchat on the bio, so I foolishly added her. Immediately she messaged me and we started to talk about stuff and then she said she wanted to meet up and I was all like yeah sure whatever. Since I saw her on the app saying she was close I thought she was real and I could use the distraction. As we were agreeing to meet up she sent me an address of a hotel nearby. I questioned her about her location and she told me she was a hooker and offered me service. Out of horniness I asked her rating and she sent me a list, so I picked one and payed to book her for the next day. The next day goes by and I get ready and head of to our meeting spot. I paid the rest of the money for service and she told about messaging her pimp. Since I never done this before obviously I messaged him and he said I had to pay for reimbursement and then he’ll give me a code. I said okay how much is it, so first it was $300 for safety and security. I paid and asked for the code. He then said I needed to pay $200 for hotel room and damages. I paid and asked for the code. He then asked for $500 for any diseases I may have. I paid and asked for the code. He then asked for the resort fee of $500. I paid and then asked for the code. He then said I need to pay $500 for safety and that would be the last one and I would get my money back at the end of the session.
He then finally messaged me saying that he didn’t get the last payment of $500 and I need to send it again. When I looked at my bank account I was out of $2000 dollars and all my transactions went through. So I messaged him saying if he was sure and he said yeah and that I need to pay the last $500, but I was out of money and I told him I would have more tomorrow and said he fine that tomorrow I would see the girl. So I head home disheartened about the money but then I was no longer thinking with my dick and started to use my head. And I fuckin realized I got scammed. When I got home I messaged the pimp about how much I have gave him. Here is where my suspicion came alive he said I only paid 1500 and that he needed 2000 to transfer money back to me. I showed all transactions and counted 2000. He then went and said oh maybe if you send $500 more I’ll get them together and I’ll send you back 2500.
I then messaged him saying how the fuck those that make any sense and then he never replied back. Now I’m out $2000 and feel even worse now.
TLDR; used dating app for sorrow and found girl who provided “services” ended up paying $2000 and now feels bad man
FLTDI: You would have paid a "I'm a dumbass here's $500" fee my god
Mrgrieves74: I think he did.
| 3 | 7.333333 |
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