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EDIT: whoa first gold too, u guys and gals are the best!
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Post: I used to charge a kid a made up "fat tax"
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Top Comment: Based on your name, you peaked in high school?
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Post: I leave fake parking tickets on cars that deserve real ones.
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Top Comment: [deleted]
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Post: I Use my Roommates Face Towel to Clean Up His Pee. He Still Hasn't Noticed.
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Top Comment: No: he needs to wash his towels and wipe his piss up
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Post: [No regrets] I conned my way into being a therapist
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Top Comment: Quit calling yourself a therapist idiot. That’s illegal.Just say you’re a life coach or spiritual counselor or make up some title. It’s not illegal to charge people to chat with you. It is illegal to masquerade as a therapist. Just label yourself appropriately and you’ve got a business.
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Post: I tried to miscarry my baby and hurt her permanently
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Top Comment: This sub was made for this content
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Post: I changed my grade senior year of high school, with the principal in the room.
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Top Comment: How much did it boost your grade lmao
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Post: I guess I am my brothers keeper
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Top Comment: You did the right thing. I can't think of anything better to do than that.
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Post: In High School, I forged all of my report cards
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Top Comment: God tier move
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Post: I waited for a woman to enter the dressing room in Goodwill and switched a pair of mens shorts I wanted out of her basket with a similar looking pair, immediately bought them and left.
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Top Comment: Thrifting is a cut-throat past time for the fashion savvy yet wittingly cheap
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Post: I framed my mother's ex husband when I was 5
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Top Comment: Fuck yeah. Good for you.
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Post: I threw eggs from the 16th floor of my apartment to maintain peace and quiet.
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Top Comment: I think we found howtobasic
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Post: I used to eat my coworkers apple chips at work, then tell him that I was allergic to apples so he wouldn't accuse me.
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Top Comment: This reminds me of my friend who told me he was allergic to bacon and then I caught the motherfucker eating a BLT from greggs.
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Post: I shit in a mason jar and left it in my friends pantry.
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Top Comment: Now that's a shitpost
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Post: I knowingly stuck a booger to my bosses hand and let a customer get blamed for it.
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Top Comment: [deleted]
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Post: I used to be a white supremacist - Please read the whole thing before posting
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Top Comment: It just goes to show that very often, racism comes from a lack of exposure to other races and cultures. You were exposed, and allowed critical thinking to take over.
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Super proud of you.
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And as a Jew: shalom!
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Post: I ordered 80$ worth of pizza for a non-existant client
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Top Comment: Gotta love the petty revenge in this one. +1 for opening the door to watch him steam
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Post: [Light] I'm a custodian and I test out every paper airplane I find on the floor.
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Top Comment: You are a fine American.
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Post: I stole a book from the library page by page, then glued the pieces together at home
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Top Comment: God damn dude, that’s a hella of a plan for a young child!
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Post: I stole a girls iPod Touch and then sold it back to her a month later
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Top Comment: Someone stole my phone around year 7 as i accidentally left it in my outer bag pocket not inner during PE. Mother fucker stood there the next day (he was a foreign student I was being nice to, trying to be friendly so he didn't feel alone being new to school) and told me had just got a new phone and I said mine was stolen.
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Few weeks or months later a friend in class said isn't your nickname "maze"? and I said yeah, and he said oh I saw your name on the highscore of my friends phone game. So I reported that shit to the police and I got my phone back as I still had the box with serial numbers.
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I feel for that poor girl because at that age it was devastating. I'd already lost my two bikes from the garage robbery we had three days after christmas :( like a year or so before.
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Post: I hid weed in the principal's office and somehow didn't get caught
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Top Comment: Those some dumb security guards, but good shit. My heart would of been racing
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Post: I went through the McDonald's drive-thru and they offered me a small ice cream cone for my dog. I ate it.
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Top Comment: The ice cream machine was working?!?
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Post: i kicked a hitchhiker out of my car in the middle of the desert
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Top Comment: [deleted]
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Post: I learned something about my mom's past, and I feel like I've stolen something from her.
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Top Comment: [deleted]
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Post: I took $30 out of my colleague’s farewell gift contribution when I found out she blocked me on Facebook.
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Top Comment: This is why people really need to realize social media is toxic, in every way. To me, this reads like a situation that happens in middle school.
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Post: I sneak in and use my old apartment's gym three times a week
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Top Comment: A year ago I used to go to this gym that was part of a super rich tennis club, the membership fee was grossly overpriced for a rather mediocre setup of equipment. I’ve lived in the area ever since I was a kid and I knew about a door that the workers used that was left unlocked all the time. For about a year I went in for about an hour after closing at 9. One time a worker saw me and started walking up to me. I thought I was screwed until he just told me that everyone using the gym must have their shirt on. He left and let me be,
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Post: My friend and I lowered our GPA and broke into the teachers' lounge because we were thirsty.
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Top Comment: Reading This was like watching a heist movie
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Post: I once trucked a girl in high school and it keeps me up at night
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Top Comment: Boy I had no idea what trucked meant I thought you either ran her over with a truck or dragged her around with one.
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Post: Son, I've been reading your Reddit posts
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Top Comment: Dad invades his son's privacy....then his story invades my heart. Mad tears, bro.
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Post: I forged Good Charlotte's signature for a Nintendo
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Top Comment: This is hilarious.
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Post: When it’s raining and I’m driving, I always check the wiper speed of cars around me because I’m self conscious that I have mine going too fast/too slow
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Top Comment: Haha I set mine to whatever I like, then look at other cars to judge them. So many cars don't turn their wipers on or use full speed with a light drizzle.
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