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Top Comment: That was really shitty damn but I guess at least you no longer associate yourself with that group of people and have hopefully learned. There’s always a new day to be a better person
Post: I caused my school to hold an assembly on locking stall doors in the bathroom.
Top Comment: what a little asshole i love it.
Post: I’m still alive because I just want my dog to have a good life
Top Comment: I go to work mainly to provide for my cats
Post: I faked a shellfish allergy to get out of work early.
Top Comment: How shellfish of you
Post: I pushed my brother when we were kids and his head hit a rock. now he’s brain damaged
Top Comment: [removed]
Post: I lied to an old employer about my previous pay rate.
Top Comment: I’d say this is more of a pro life tip than a confession.
Always ask for more than what you think you’re worth
Post: I used to put discounts on people’s cash bills to keep extra tip money
Top Comment: Yea… the company I work for has fired more than one employee for this exact scam. Anyone considering doing this tread with caution, it’s not bulletproof
Post: I stole close to $1000 dollars from ages 8-10 because I bankrupted them with medical bills
Top Comment: Jesus. As a kid you were so anxious about your health and the financial burden on your family that you resorted to stealing. This country's health system is so fucked.
You feel guilty and that's actually a good thing. Obviously you can't go back and repay all those people, so I agree with the other comments that you can repay your debt to society by charity work. Volunteer! You'll feel better and you'll make your community better. ♡
I'm sorry you were put in that position. Yet another reason Universal Healthcare shouldnt be a controversial issue.
Post: My fiancé & I tested his sister's supposed gluten allergy.
Top Comment: A harmless way to 'test' her would be to cook gluten free food as she would normally have it, let her eat most of it and then make out it had a wrong ingredient in it. She can bitch and moan all she likes, at least you won't have actually made her ill.
Post: Stealing tips
Top Comment: I thought you were going to give us tips on stealing.
Post: I'm a 15 yo (male) drug addict
Top Comment: I’m 17 and addicted to Oxycodone. The only thing that helped me was telling my parents. If you have the choice, go to rehab. And it does get easier over time. I got addicted when I was 15. I just quit the beginning of this year. I hope you’re able to get clean
Post: i put fish tank water in her coffee maker
Top Comment: [deleted]
Post: Kid crying over a lego set he wasn’t allowed to buy, so I bought it in front of him, for myself.
Top Comment: Honestly, that’s a good mom.
Had she caved and got it. He would have learned that if he throws a tantrum long enough he gets what he wants. Instead he’s learned that shit behavior does NOT get you what you want. (At least I hope he understood that now)
Post: I flooded a hotel washroom with my shit.
Top Comment: Now that’s a story. Good thing you hauled ass before your stall mates came out. Lol
Post: I beat up a kid because he kicked my elderly dog.
Top Comment: Just recently I had a guy AT AN OFF LEASH DOG BEACH repeatedly swing a branch at my dog and abuse me. If it weren’t for his young children being there with him I think I would’ve been looking at a pretty serious assault charge tbh.
Seeing someone unprovoked do that sort of shit to your dog is also probably the most rage-inducing thing I’ve experienced in my adult life.
Post: My brother talked me into stealing $300 worth of game cards for him.
Top Comment: Excuse me what? The cards aren’t supposed to work until scanned
Post: When I was 10, I insulted a random lady on the phone and... totally got away with it.
Top Comment: Wait until you are 30 and tell your mom. Best prank
Post: I burned a part of my apartment building because I didn't put out my cigarette.
Top Comment: A friend in college died in a house fire that was linked to a still-lit cigarette butt on the porch
Post: I had to steal my family's VHS after a porn movie got stuck in it.
Top Comment: What I took from your story is how hilariously literal porn names were back then, "fuck my wife II."
Also, evidently, Fuck My Wife was so popular, they had to make a sequel.
Post: Kept all the chocolate I sold to my neighbors and ate it myself.
Top Comment: I was mugged in NYC when I was in 5th grade selling that fucking chocolate.
Post: I upvote all my son's Reddit posts and he doesn't know I know his username.
Top Comment: Thousands of redditors currently analyzing their post history, imagining a parent reading everything they’ve written.
Post: I broke a girl's phone for bullying me in seventh grade, and got away with it
Top Comment: In 7th grade we went to a small amusement park for a class trip. A boy I didn’t want to sit with, sat with me on the bus anyways. He was part of the “popular” crowd and just overall super obnoxious. I had on a bathing suit top under a tank top and he decided to take a picture of my chest (fully clothed but still). I took his flip phone and snapped it clean in half right in front of him. Felt really good and luckily didn’t get in trouble because he was too afraid of himself getting into even more trouble.
Post: I beat up a guy and my life was almost completely ruined.
Top Comment: What happened with Steve though? Did he ever got the degree? Is he still single and sad? I kinda feel bad he got stabbed and robbed lol.
Post: I missed a whole day of work because I stayed in bed trying to resume a dream I was having where I had a small chance of getting laid. That's how infrequently I have sex.
Top Comment: Well honestly that's pretty rip
Post: I just learned that a Wolverine is a real animal. I’m 28 years old.
Top Comment: Don't feel bad. Until last month my wife thought a wolverine was a female wolf.
Post: I stole a pizza from Little Caesar's
Top Comment: It's 1 pizza bro. Galaxies are spinning around endless blackness and stars are being born in dusty endless radiation wombs. Don't worry about it.
Post: I intentionally broke the work computer so my boss would get a better one.
Top Comment: Would be funny if he gets it repaired, but for your sake i hope he will buy a new one.
Post: I Steal Food From The Grocery Store Where I Work That They Make Us Throw Away
Top Comment: dont feel bad, what youre doing is perfeclty moral in my opinion.
i make quite a bit of money and pay little tax and I dont think its fair so go ahead.
Post: I slapped someone across the face and blamed it on a tic...
Top Comment: I knew someone in high school who had Tourette's and I also suspected he faked some of his tics to do some fucked up shit without repercussions.
I almost thought you did it for the same reasons he did, but it turns out you have better intentions. Good job.