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Morty 2:
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It was the Mortytown Locos, man! The Mortytown Locos!
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Cop Rick:
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Do you realize how many codes you just violated?
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Cop Morty:
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Aw geez, Rick. What do I know about knowin’ stuff? Get in the fucking car.
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Campaign Manager Morty:
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Can we fact-check this, please? Never mind, who am I kidding? This race is over.
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Candidate Morty:
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I don’t see a divide between Ricks and Mortys.
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Candidate Morty:
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You guys finished? The division I see is between the Ricks and Mortys that like the Citadel divided, and the rest of us. I see it everywhere I go.
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Candidate Morty:
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I see it in our schools, where they teach Mortys we’re all the same because they’re threatened by what makes us unique.
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Candidate Morty:
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I see it in our streets, where they give guns to Mortys so we’re too busy fighting each other to fight real injustice.
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Candidate Morty:
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I see it in our factories, where Ricks work for a fraction of their boss’s salary, even though they’re identical and have the same IQ. The Citadel’s problem isn’t homeless Mortys or outraged Ricks.
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Candidate Morty:
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The Citadel’s problem is the Ricks and Mortys feeding on the Citadel’s debt.
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Rick J-22:
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Holy shit.
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Candidate Morty:
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But I’ve got a message for them, from the Ricks and Mortys keeping it alive. A message… from the Ricks and Mortys that believe in this Citadel to the Ricks and Mortys that don’t
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Campaign Manager Morty:
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Holy shit. I don’t believe it! I-I can’t believe it!
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Candidate Morty:
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I know. That’s why you’re fired.
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Rick J-22:
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Your life is a lie, man. All your lives are lies! Don’t you get it?! They told us we were special because we were Ricks, but they stripped us of anything that made us unique!
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Rick J-22:
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I-I-I want a portal gun. Unregistered, untraceable, with enough fluid to take me off this goddamn prison!
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Candidate Morty:
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Yes?
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Candidate Morty:
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Gosh. We moved around so much it’s hard to remember. I see every Rick as my Rick.
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Candidate Morty:
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I hope they see me as their Morty.
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Campaign Manager Morty:
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Another, please, with less water.
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Campaign Manager Morty:
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I guess I shoulda had more faith.
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Campaign Manager Morty:
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What’s this?
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Cop Rick:
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Hands in the air!
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Cop Morty:
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You guys doin’ a little chemistry homework with Grandpa?
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Cop Rick:
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Is this what I think it is?
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Cop Morty:
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Bootleg portal fluid.
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Cop Morty:
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Guess his math was off. Search the place.
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Cop Rick:
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It’s okay, Morty.
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Cop Morty:
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Jesus!
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Cop Rick:
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He stabbed me! He got me bad, Morty.
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Cop Morty:
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Shh, it’s okay, you’re okay.
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Cop Rick:
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You were right… Everything I learned in the academy was--
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Cop Morty:
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It doesn’t matter. Nothing’s wrong with putting your faith in a Morty. You just gotta pick the right one.
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Cop Rick:
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