sub_id
string | title
string | Criticism
string | Intent
string | Readability
int64 | body
string | author
string | score
int64 | awards
int64 | numComms
int64 | created
string | subreddit
string | annotated_post_body
string | ES
int64 | EFS
int64 | RS
int64 | EMaskingQ
string | EMask
string | EFSMaskingQ
string | EFSMask
string | RMaskingQ
string | RMask
string | Comments
string | Annotated
bool | label_combination
int64 |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
elq9yf
|
Y’all
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 1 |
I just need to talk to someone privately. I fucked something up big time and I need help.
|
Sam29235
| 1 | 0 | 3 |
2020-01-08 08:58:40
|
alcoholicsanonymous
|
<rs>I just need to talk to someone privately. <re><es>I fucked something up big time and I need help.<ee>
| 1 | 0 | 2 |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
what did you do
|
How did X make you feel?
|
what you did
| null | null | null | true | 102 |
ekfge3
|
.
|
0
|
chitchat
| 5 | null |
Mysteriously7
| 1 | 0 | 4 |
2020-01-05 16:49:57
|
socialanxiety
| null | 0 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
random
| true | 0 |
eksfwo
|
I did something horrible to feel alive and now I don't know what to do
|
1a
|
rant
| 2 |
idk if this post fits here but I couldn't find another sub so let me know if there's somewhere else i should post this?
I've been having a really rough time lately, I hurt my ankle really bad so I havent been outside a lot and my depression is getting worse. I lost my job just before Christmas. I failed 2 classes this semester. everything just feels like a blur of grey and im just so fucking depressed. low energy.
i occasionally impulsively shoplift. only stuff I actually need. im poor, so it's almost always food. it makes me feel alive
today I was walking home from my car and I passed a van with the back open. a bunch of shit strewn on the ground. I went to go put it back in the car because it was pretty clear it had been broken into, and stuff was in the middle of the road so I thought it would be nice to put it back. but i stopped. and went through some of the stuff. and ended up stealing a few items for myself. not anything super valuable... a couple flannel shirts and a jacket. I mostly did it because I could and it gave me an adrenaline rush. I feel like a horrible person for what I did and i don't know what to do now I've been having a panic attack since I did it.
|
69justathrowaway420
| 1 | 0 | 5 |
2020-01-06 10:39:38
|
mentalillness
|
idk if this post fits here but I couldn't find another sub so let me know if there's somewhere else i should post this? <es>I've been having a really rough time lately, I hurt my ankle really bad so I havent been outside a lot and my depression is getting worse.<ee> <es>I lost my job just before Christmas.<ee> <es>I failed 2 classes this semester.<ee> <efs>everything just feels like a blur of grey and im just so fucking depressed.<efe> <efs>low energy.<efe> <es>i occasionally impulsively shoplift.<ee> only stuff I actually need. im poor, so it's almost always food. it makes me feel alive today I was walking home from my car and I passed a van with the back open. a bunch of shit strewn on the ground. I went to go put it back in the car because it was pretty clear it had been broken into, and stuff was in the middle of the road so I thought it would be nice to put it back. but i stopped. and went through some of the stuff. <es>and ended up stealing a few items for myself.<ee> not anything super valuable... a couple flannel shirts and a jacket. <es>I mostly did it because I could and it gave me an adrenaline rush.<ee> <efs>I feel like a horrible person for what I did and i don't know what to do now I've been having a panic attack since I did it.<efe>
| 2 | 1 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
how impulsive stealing makes you feel
|
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you have a panic attack due to impulsive stealing
| null | true | 210 |
ej45na
|
i want to go back to the psych ward
|
1b
|
rant
| 1 |
i've been spiraling down a dark path and god i just want to go back to the ward the nurses were so nice and they actually helped and it was j a really good experience and i'm at the point where i don't feel like i can keep myself self and i want to fucking die bc my parents are abusive fucktards who ruin everything in my life but last time i was at the ward my parents made such a big deal out of it and treated me like i was crazy and weird just in general made me feel really bad for having to be hospitalized and idk what the fuck to do
|
toogayforthisworld_
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
2020-01-02 20:56:57
|
mentalillness
|
i've been spiraling down a dark path and god i just want to go back to the ward the nurses were so nice and they actually helped and it was j a really good experience and i'm at the point where i don't feel like i can keep myself self and i want to fucking die bc my parents are abusive fucktards who ruin everything in my life but last time i was at the ward my parents made such a big deal out of it and treated me like i was crazy and weird just in general made me feel really bad for having to be hospitalized and idk what the fuck to do
| 2 | 2 | 2 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 222 |
ejr4so
|
How to make friends.
|
0
|
help-seeking
| 1 |
Does anyone care to share their insight into this.
Do you think to get the most out of life and social interactions in my case, you must constantly be in a state of motion and risk. It's like emotional pain is necessary in bringing the kind people out to brighten up your day a bit.
|
cheese_monkey_92
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
2020-01-04 03:45:10
|
mentalillness
|
Does anyone care to share their insight into this. Do you think to get the most out of life and social interactions in my case, you must constantly be in a state of motion and risk. It's like emotional pain is necessary in bringing the kind people out to brighten up your day a bit.
| 0 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
thought
| true | 0 |
eihqed
|
Undiagnosed and losing hope
|
1c
|
survey
| 2 |
I'm 32F and quite sure I have ADD - inattentive type. I guess I've been in denial since I grew up in a very chaotic household with my mom, who still doesn't see her own issues. Later on in my early/mid-twenties I was in a six year relationship with my boyfriend who was diagnosed with ADHD last year.
I've had multiple depressive episodes throughout the years, and I guess that's my main mental health problem, but I just failed to see that ADD could be a part of it too. I've tried many different courses of education, and barely managed to finish the one I eventually decided on. Now I finally realised I need some different kind of help, but I will have to wait for quite a while to be evaluated, and I am grieving that I didn't think of this earlier. I know it certainly wouldn't have eliminated all problems, but I just keep thinking that maybe things could have turned out different.
So I guess I am looking for some success story/reassurance that things can turn out good, even if you get help after 30. I managed to get work in the field I'm educated in, luckily, and have found some more order and meaning in my life over the past years. However, I'm sad and afraid that I lost my chance of having a good relationship, marriage and children, because of all of this chaos all these years. If anyone has a hopeful life story after being in a similar situation, please tell. Thank you.
|
blobbslobb
| 1 | 0 | 2 |
2020-01-01 12:09:49
|
ADHD
|
<es>I'm 32F and quite sure I have ADD - inattentive type.<ee> <es>I guess I've been in denial since I grew up in a very chaotic household with my mom, who still doesn't see her own issues.<ee> <es>Later on in my early/mid-twenties I was in a six year relationship with my boyfriend who was diagnosed with ADHD last year. <ee> <es>I've had multiple depressive episodes throughout the years, and I guess that's my main mental health problem, but I just failed to see that ADD could be a part of it too.<ee> <es>I've tried many different courses of education, and barely managed to finish the one I eventually decided on.<ee> <es>Now I finally realised I need some different kind of help, but I will have to wait for quite a while to be evaluated, and I am grieving that I didn't think of this earlier.<ee> <es>I know it certainly wouldn't have eliminated all problems, but I just keep thinking that maybe things could have turned out different. <ee> <rs>So I guess I am looking for some success story/reassurance that things can turn out good, even if you get help after 30.<re> <es>I managed to get work in the field I'm educated in, luckily, and have found some more order and meaning in my life over the past years.<ee> <efs>However, I'm sad and afraid that I lost my chance of having a good relationship, marriage and children, because of all of this chaos all these years.<efe> <rs>If anyone has a hopeful life story after being in a similar situation, please tell.<re> Thank you.
| 2 | 2 | 2 | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 222 |
ep3z8i
|
2020-01-15 00:00:00
|
0
|
chitchat
| 1 |
Tomorrow I will have 1 year clean from all substances.
|
cheylove2
| 1 | 0 | 5 |
2020-01-15 15:50:54
|
OpiatesRecovery
|
Tomorrow I will have 1 year clean from all substances.
| 0 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
random
| true | 0 |
einlyp
|
My brain remembers things in feelings and irrelevant details. It it my ADHD or just me?
|
0
|
survey
| 2 |
So, I've noticed that when I remember things I remember the most random details, which are generally not the important part of what I need to remember. Like, a coworker asked me about the date of an event, and my brain was like "Welp, the flyer was blue and above the water fountain that makes that weird sound and the corner was folded over and there was a misspelled word at the bottom of the page. But I don't no what that word was or any other useful information. I just feel like it isn't Thursday."
Or I was playing a trivia game and I was given a definition and asked to come up with a word, and I just *feel* like it starts with a t and there is an l towards the end.
In fact, soooooo frequently I am asked a question, and I can't give the answer, but I just have this feeling that some minor detail is involved. And I'm usually right, because I apparently remember useless details pretty accurately. Just nothing helpful/important. Is this an ADHD thing, or just me?
P.S. - I don't know if this is the same thing or not, bit I frequently remember details about people, like their job, what they like, what they wore last time I saw them, how many siblings they have, etc. But not their freaking name.
|
BagelsAndTeas
| 1 | 0 | 7 |
2020-01-01 20:53:11
|
ADHD
|
<es>So, I've noticed that when I remember things I remember the most random details, which are generally not the important part of what I need to remember.<ee> <es>Like, a coworker asked me about the date of an event, and my brain was like "Welp, the flyer was blue and above the water fountain that makes that weird sound and the corner was folded over and there was a misspelled word at the bottom of the page.<ee> <es>But I don't no what that word was or any other useful information.<ee> <es>I just feel like it isn't Thursday."<ee> <es>Or I was playing a trivia game and I was given a definition and asked to come up with a word, and I just *feel* like it starts with a t and there is an l towards the end. <ee> <es>In fact, soooooo frequently I am asked a question, and I can't give the answer, but I just have this feeling that some minor detail is involved.<ee> <es>And I'm usually right, because I apparently remember useless details pretty accurately.<ee> <es>Just nothing helpful/important.<ee> <rs>Is this an ADHD thing, or just me?<re> <es>P.S. - I don't know if this is the same thing or not, bit I frequently remember details about people, like their job, what they like, what they wore last time I saw them, how many siblings they have, etc.<ee> <es>But not their freaking name.<ee>
| 2 | 0 | 2 | null | null |
How did X make you feel?
|
remembering irrelevant details
| null | null | null | true | 202 |
es7201
|
My GF was assaulted and it created an emotion mess between us. Need some advice
|
1b
|
help-seeking
| 3 |
Hi brave people of this subreddit.
I come here to ask for advice and guidance as this has been very difficult for both of us. I would like to keep it short but I think it will be kinda hard, but will try my best.
I am in a relationship that's been going for almost 8 years now. We know each other since high school, we were really good friend back then and after high school we started hanging up more and things just happened.
Things were going pretty good between us but unfortunately she decided to pursue her dream of living in another country and also, it is temporary so we decided to keep a long distance relationship. Even with that, the relationship was going strong, even stronger I would argue, every time we saw each other was a moment of celebration. It felt that every time we saw each other we were more and more mature.
Unfortunately, she met a person who was her "Friend". This person was a complete asshole, as he had a crush on her, but she said that she loved me and she could only give her friendship to him. The problem is that this person has had a very troubled life and he has a depressive personality. He constantly said suicidal thoughts to my GF and also has anger management issues.
My GF is a very soft spoken and she has been depressed in her life in the past. So she understood how that could feel, so she was always hanging with this guy trying to making him feel better. Unfortunately this turned into a very toxic relationship where he was controlling her. She went to the movies with him or for dinner with him because whenever things didn't go his way, he always responded very aggressively and the suicide threads where common in this relationship.
&#x200B;
I of course helped my GF, sometimes she would call me crying because how this person made her feel, so I always stood for her and told her "You have to stop talking to him dear, he is making you feel like shit, that is not a good thing for you.". I even remember saying "This will not end good for you". My GF understood all that I said but she said "Nothing will happen, don't worry".
She also used to have panic attacks whenever this person got angry. She was always like scared whenever he got angry. She wasn't able to react or say anything and sometimes she ended up doing things secretly without him so he wouldn't get angry at her.
She hanged out with him as even though he has those problems, there were some like... good aspects of him? Like he was an asshole, but sometimes he could be funny and with more people around it was easier for her to hang up with him. So she decided to focus on the positive aspects of him.
Last year, this person went to my GF apartment, which she was stressed as she always had those problems with him. She laid down on her bed because she was stressed of him AND she was having surgery next week when this happened. This person laid down as well and kissed her. She apparently was in shock and then this guy proceeded to assault her.
My GF reacted and said "No, not that, not that, no no" and she covered her body. Aparently more time lapsed and this guy did it again. And she didn't stopped him.
I want to clarify, I am going to therapy and I am reading a book and yes, I do understand that freezing is a real thing and hard to control. It's taking me months to stop feeling bad for her freezing. But it is very hard as when she told me the whole story, she told me that she wasn't really scared? And she never felt froze? she was more as in.... in a disassociation state which also I can understand. But it is very hard as apparently the guy didn't go aggressive at all. He just did his thing and when he wanted sex she said no again, and then he stopped.
I know this is sexual assault. But I am having a hard time with my feelings. And I can explain why:
When my GF told me the whole story, she basically said: I cheated you. She noticed my reaction and proceeded to tell me what happened with a lot of details, which creating an incredible nasty story in my head which I can't get out. Even still, I noticed there was some parts that sounded like sexual assault.
I decided to ask her:
Did he kissed you? Or it was a mutual kiss?
To which she replied that it was a mutual one. That's when everything collapsed in me.
Fast forward a few weeks, she talked to a professional and thats when she talked to me again and she said that she was sorry and that she basically mangled the whole story. She was feeling guilty but that it was not her fault. It was not a mutual kiss, it was more as in he kissed her and she was in shock and didn't pushed him away and that made her feel extremely guilty and that's why she said it was mutual, but after talking with a professional she was able to tell me the truth.
That being said, it has not being easy to forget that day. I have a trauma. The worst part of my life so far is when my ex gf cheated on my for real, twice. I feel like I will never forget those days. I remember I reacted poorly to the whole situation, and my GF was super cute and had a good body. We were at engineering school and because there are not a lot of woman and also not a lot of good looking woman people decided to side to her and a lot of people pointed at me as a looser. A looser who cried for his GF, and Looser and a asshole. How somebody like me could've been with somebody who was craved by the whole faculty?. It was the first time in my life where I made enemies.
It took me years on depression, therapy and antidepressants to finally come out on top. I finally moved on and that year when I finally got out, I felt like I stepped out of my shell. When that happened is when I finally felt like I was able to give people love again and started having a crush on my current GF and she also had a crush on me.
So basically, when she told me the whole story, things just collapsed inside me. I have a lot of feelings and memories of those moments. My GF cried that day and she told me that she didn't want to make me live again the same situation and she was very sorry. Now she says it is not our fault and we should be able to move forward.
She has been a champ throughout this whole situation, giving me support and acknowledging that she screwed up by telling me the way she did. She agrees that she should've tried to not ignore the assault (it took her 6 months to tell me and didn't talk about it with anybody) as she was trying to feel like nothing happened, which I also can understand.
&#x200B;
Now the real problem is my feelings. My feelings are a complete mess. I am in depression, I sleep so little and a lot at the same time. I barely eat and I am always tired and sad. I am unfortunately disappointed of her. Is not the assault that disappoints me? Is the fact that we both knew this guy was a fucking asshole and she never put a stop to it. Even to this day.
She says that she doesn't want to report him to the police because the country where she lives is very male oriented and nothing will happen. I can understand that.
She also don't want to talk to the staff (It was a co worker) because she doesn't want to make this "Big". I also understand that, but I disagree with this one. I feel like this guy should be punished and fired from the place and kicked back to his own country. This part starts to make me feel the disappointment as I want to hear from her that she finally exploded, but she didn't.
She also don't want to talk with her friends. She already did with two of her friends, but one part of her friends are still on touch with this guy and it is like his only friend. I want to feel like this guy at least lost all his friends because of this, because my GF gets along more with them than them with this asshole. But she is afraid of her friends talking with her assaulter and him convincing them with words as in "She wanted it" or "It was not assault". She is also afraid of him getting angry and going to my GF's place and having a discussion, she says that she could not handle that.
I am disappointed in feeling that she is lacking courage :(. Yes, I can sound like a jerk, and I am aware of that, that's why I come here for advice. I don't feel like I love her right now, but I am afraid of not feeling the excitement ever again. We were talks on getting married and she also is moving to my country (I also moved from my home country) this year. We're still on plans on doing that as we saw each other on the holidays and things were good. Not great mind you, but good. And the bad parts weren't bad? It was more as in getting sad, crying, hugging and exchanging feelings.
But the truth is, I am terrified of my feelings. My mind know this is not the same case. My mind knows this is a very complicated matter and nothing is white and black. But my feelings are a complete mess. I used to feel at ease whenever I saw her, now I am afraid of not recovering that feeling.
I am disappointed of her not exploding and hitting the desk and yelling ENOUGH, before, during and after the assault. I just wish she exploded, didn't matter if it was after the assault, I just want to feel that she can fight him. I am also disappointed that we both knew this guy was an asshole, if only she would've listen to me, thing would be sooo different.
I also feel like and asshole because she also had a traumatic experience. I don't know what to do. I am so lost. I don't trust her right now, and I don't know what to do. I know she didn't cheat, and she would never do that to me. Even yesterday talking about this she said: I didn't cheat you and I never will and you know that! I know is hard because of how I said things, but that does not count. I know the shock is still there, but you have to focus on the truth. I was assaulted, it took me 6 months to finally understand that. You have to have hope on yourself. You have to have hope on you leaving this behind.
The truth is, I don't really have that hope in me. Last time this feeling destroyed me. This feeling got the best of me, and it is doing it now. My mind can picture him doing all the things she described and my gut goes crazy. I still remember that day. That day I am not sure I can forget.
Should I just ignore my feelings? Well not ignore ignore, more as in, live with them? Should I trust my gut? Should I trust my brain? Can these feelings fade away? Can I recover that excitement? We will be able to marry as we were planning to do?
Thanks for the reading and I hope you have a great night.
|
emotional_wreck_2
| 1 | 0 | 12 |
2020-01-22 04:49:52
|
rapecounseling
|
Hi brave people of this subreddit. <rs>I come here to ask for advice and guidance as this has been very difficult for both of us.<re> I would like to keep it short but I think it will be kinda hard, but will try my best. <es>I am in a relationship that's been going for almost 8 years now.<ee> <es>We know each other since high school, we were really good friend back then and after high school we started hanging up more and things just happened. <ee> <es>Things were going pretty good between us but unfortunately she decided to pursue her dream of living in another country and also, it is temporary so we decided to keep a long distance relationship.<ee> <es>Even with that, the relationship was going strong, even stronger I would argue, every time we saw each other was a moment of celebration.<ee> <es>It felt that every time we saw each other we were more and more mature. <ee> <es>Unfortunately, she met a person who was her "Friend".<ee> <es>This person was a complete asshole, as he had a crush on her, but she said that she loved me and she could only give her friendship to him.<ee> <es>The problem is that this person has had a very troubled life and he has a depressive personality.<ee> <es>He constantly said suicidal thoughts to my GF and also has anger management issues. <ee> <es>My GF is a very soft spoken and she has been depressed in her life in the past.<ee> <es>So she understood how that could feel, so she was always hanging with this guy trying to making him feel better.<ee> <es>Unfortunately this turned into a very toxic relationship where he was controlling her.<ee> <es>She went to the movies with him or for dinner with him because whenever things didn't go his way, he always responded very aggressively and the suicide threads where common in this relationship.<ee> &#x200B; <es>I of course helped my GF, sometimes she would call me crying because how this person made her feel, so I always stood for her and told her "You have to stop talking to him dear, he is making you feel like shit, that is not a good thing for you."<ee>. <es>I even remember saying "This will not end good for you".<ee> <es>My GF understood all that I said but she said "Nothing will happen, don't worry". <ee> <es>She also used to have panic attacks whenever this person got angry.<ee> <es>She was always like scared whenever he got angry.<ee> <es>She wasn't able to react or say anything and sometimes she ended up doing things secretly without him so he wouldn't get angry at her. <ee> <es>She hanged out with him as even though he has those problems, there were some like... good aspects of him?<ee> <es>Like he was an asshole, but sometimes he could be funny and with more people around it was easier for her to hang up with him.<ee> <es>So she decided to focus on the positive aspects of him. <ee> <es>Last year, this person went to my GF apartment, which she was stressed as she always had those problems with him.<ee> <es>She laid down on her bed because she was stressed of him AND she was having surgery next week when this happened.<ee> <es>This person laid down as well and kissed her.<ee> <es>She apparently was in shock and then this guy proceeded to assault her. <ee> <es>My GF reacted and said "No, not that, not that, no no" and she covered her body.<ee> <es>Aparently more time lapsed and this guy did it again.<ee> <es>And she didn't stopped him. <ee> <es>I want to clarify, I am going to therapy and I am reading a book and yes, I do understand that freezing is a real thing and hard to control.<ee> <efs>It's taking me months to stop feeling bad for her freezing.<efe> <es>But it is very hard as when she told me the whole story, she told me that she wasn't really scared?<ee> <es>And she never felt froze?<ee> <es>she was more as in.... in a disassociation state which also I can understand.<ee> <es>But it is very hard as apparently the guy didn't go aggressive at all.<ee> <es>He just did his thing and when he wanted sex she said no again, and then he stopped. <ee> <es>I know this is sexual assault.<ee> <efs>But I am having a hard time with my feelings.<efe> And I can explain why: <es>When my GF told me the whole story, she basically said: I cheated you.<ee> <es>She noticed my reaction and proceeded to tell me what happened with a lot of details, which creating an incredible nasty story in my head which I can't get out.<ee> <es>Even still, I noticed there was some parts that sounded like sexual assault. <ee> <es>I decided to ask her: Did he kissed you?<ee> <es>Or it was a mutual kiss? <ee> <es>To which she replied that it was a mutual one.<ee> <es>That's when everything collapsed in me. <ee> <es>Fast forward a few weeks, she talked to a professional and thats when she talked to me again and she said that she was sorry and that she basically mangled the whole story.<ee> <es>She was feeling guilty but that it was not her fault.<ee> <es>It was not a mutual kiss, it was more as in he kissed her and she was in shock and didn't pushed him away and that made her feel extremely guilty and that's why she said it was mutual, but after talking with a professional she was able to tell me the truth. <ee> <es>That being said, it has not being easy to forget that day.<ee> <efs>I have a trauma.<efe> <es>The worst part of my life so far is when my ex gf cheated on my for real, twice.<ee> <efs>I feel like I will never forget those days.<efe> <es>I remember I reacted poorly to the whole situation, and my GF was super cute and had a good body.<ee> <es>We were at engineering school and because there are not a lot of woman and also not a lot of good looking woman people decided to side to her and a lot of people pointed at me as a looser.<ee> <es>A looser who cried for his GF, and Looser and a asshole.<ee> <es>How somebody like me could've been with somebody who was craved by the whole faculty?.<ee> <es>It was the first time in my life where I made enemies. <ee> <es>It took me years on depression, therapy and antidepressants to finally come out on top.<ee> <es>I finally moved on and that year when I finally got out, I felt like I stepped out of my shell.<ee> <es>When that happened is when I finally felt like I was able to give people love again and started having a crush on my current GF and she also had a crush on me. <ee> <efs>So basically, when she told me the whole story, things just collapsed inside me.<efe> <efs>I have a lot of feelings and memories of those moments.<efe> <es>My GF cried that day and she told me that she didn't want to make me live again the same situation and she was very sorry.<ee> <es>Now she says it is not our fault and we should be able to move forward. <ee> <es>She has been a champ throughout this whole situation, giving me support and acknowledging that she screwed up by telling me the way she did.<ee> <es>She agrees that she should've tried to not ignore the assault (it took her 6 months to tell me and didn't talk about it with anybody) as she was trying to feel like nothing happened, which I also can understand.<ee> &#x200B; <efs>Now the real problem is my feelings.<efe> <efs>My feelings are a complete mess.<efe> <efs>I am in depression, I sleep so little and a lot at the same time.<efe> <efs>I barely eat and I am always tired and sad.<efe> <efs>I am unfortunately disappointed of her.<efe> <es>Is not the assault that disappoints me?<ee> <es>Is the fact that we both knew this guy was a fucking asshole and she never put a stop to it.<ee> <es>Even to this day. <ee> <es>She says that she doesn't want to report him to the police because the country where she lives is very male oriented and nothing will happen.<ee> I can understand that. <es>She also don't want to talk to the staff (It was a co worker) because she doesn't want to make this "Big".<ee> <es>I also understand that, but I disagree with this one.<ee> <efs>I feel like this guy should be punished and fired from the place and kicked back to his own country.<efe> <efs>This part starts to make me feel the disappointment as I want to hear from her that she finally exploded, but she didn't.<efe> <es>She also don't want to talk with her friends.<ee> <es>She already did with two of her friends, but one part of her friends are still on touch with this guy and it is like his only friend.<ee> <es>I want to feel like this guy at least lost all his friends because of this, because my GF gets along more with them than them with this asshole.<ee> <es>But she is afraid of her friends talking with her assaulter and him convincing them with words as in "She wanted it" or "It was not assault".<ee> <es>She is also afraid of him getting angry and going to my GF's place and having a discussion, she says that she could not handle that. <ee> <efs>I am disappointed in feeling that she is lacking courage :(.<efe> <rs>Yes, I can sound like a jerk, and I am aware of that, that's why I come here for advice.<re> <efs>I don't feel like I love her right now, but I am afraid of not feeling the excitement ever again.<efe> <es>We were talks on getting married and she also is moving to my country (I also moved from my home country) this year.<ee> <es>We're still on plans on doing that as we saw each other on the holidays and things were good.<ee> <es>Not great mind you, but good.<ee> <es>And the bad parts weren't bad?<ee> <es>It was more as in getting sad, crying, hugging and exchanging feelings. <ee> <efs>But the truth is, I am terrified of my feelings.<efe> <efs>My mind know this is not the same case.<efe> <efs>My mind knows this is a very complicated matter and nothing is white and black.<efe> <efs>But my feelings are a complete mess.<efe> <efs>I used to feel at ease whenever I saw her, now I am afraid of not recovering that feeling. <efe> <efs>I am disappointed of her not exploding and hitting the desk and yelling ENOUGH, before, during and after the assault.<efe> <rs>I just wish she exploded, didn't matter if it was after the assault, I just want to feel that she can fight him.<re> <efs>I am also disappointed that we both knew this guy was an asshole, if only she would've listen to me, thing would be sooo different. <efe> <efs>I also feel like and asshole because she also had a traumatic experience.<efe> <es>I don't know what to do.<ee> <efs>I am so lost.<efe> <efs>I don't trust her right now, and I don't know what to do.<efe> <es>I know she didn't cheat, and she would never do that to me.<ee> <es>Even yesterday talking about this she said: I didn't cheat you and I never will and you know that! I know is hard because of how I said things, but that does not count.<ee> <es>I know the shock is still there, but you have to focus on the truth.<ee> <es>I was assaulted, it took me 6 months to finally understand that.<ee> You have to have hope on yourself. You have to have hope on you leaving this behind. <efs>The truth is, I don't really have that hope in me.<Efe> <efs>Last time this feeling destroyed me.<efe> <efs>This feeling got the best of me, and it is doing it now.<efe> <efs>My mind can picture him doing all the things she described and my gut goes crazy.<efe> <efs> I still remember that day.<efe> <efs>That day I am not sure I can forget. <efe> <rs>Should I just ignore my feelings?<re> <rs>Well not ignore ignore, more as in, live with them?<re> <rs>Should I trust my gut?<re> <rs>Should I trust my brain?<re> <rs>Can these feelings fade away?<re> <rs>Can I recover that excitement?<re> <rs>We will be able to marry as we were planning to do? <re> Thanks for the reading and I hope you have a great night.
| 2 | 2 | 2 | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 222 |
eqy3m3
|
Sunday, Jan 19 2020 Check In
|
1b
|
survey
| 1 |
How is everybody doing round these parts today? I am doing very good. My old plug got raided yesterday. He is fucked. I feel bad for his family, I haven't seen him in quite awhile. He made the choice s though.
Today I just plan on going a meeting and working on my Steps. Its freezing in Chicago today.
|
c0mm0nSenseplz
| 1 | 0 | 10 |
2020-01-19 16:07:07
|
OpiatesRecovery
|
How is everybody doing round these parts today? I am doing very good. My old plug got raided yesterday. He is fucked. I feel bad for his family, I haven't seen him in quite awhile. He made the choice s though. Today I just plan on going a meeting and working on my Steps. Its freezing in Chicago today.
| 0 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
random
| true | 0 |
eihc37
|
Wish I were dead
|
0
|
rant
| 1 |
Yeah
|
sortadark
| 1 | 0 | 3 |
2020-01-01 11:14:26
|
BPD
|
<efs>Wish I were dead<efe> Yeah
| 0 | 1 | 0 |
What made you feel X ?
|
you wish you were dead
|
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
how you are feeling
|
What can help you overcome X ?
|
this feeling of wishing to be dead
| null | true | 10 |
ek5vtj
|
Can an alcoholic stop loving his significant other just by quitting alcohol?
|
1b
|
help-seeking
| 1 |
My alcoholic ex and I broke up a couple months ago. He was actively drinking throughout our relationship. One week after he stopped drinking, he went from all the “i love you” and “I can’t imagine my life without you” to “i don’t love you anymore”, and has been like that ever since. He’s been sober (or dry? he refuses to get help and claims he can do it on his own) for a little over a month now.
It’s killing me to think that the love was genuine on my end, but it was only because of alcohol on his end and that’s why he was able to stop so easily the moment he quit drinking. I don’t know too much about how recovery works, so i don’t know if this is for now while he’s detoxing, or if this is for real. Does it really work like that? Can an alcoholic completely stop loving you after just a week of sobriety?
|
tomriddleforlife
| 1 | 0 | 8 |
2020-01-05 01:26:24
|
alcoholicsanonymous
|
<es>My alcoholic ex and I broke up a couple months ago.<ee> <es>He was actively drinking throughout our relationship.<ee> <es>One week after he stopped drinking, he went from all the “i love you” and “I can’t imagine my life without you” to “i don’t love you anymore”, and has been like that ever since.<ee> <es>He’s been sober (or dry? he refuses to get help and claims he can do it on his own) for a little over a month now.<ee> <efs>It’s killing me to think that the love was genuine on my end, but it was only because of alcohol on his end and that’s why he was able to stop so easily the moment he quit drinking.<efe> <es>I don’t know too much about how recovery works, so i don’t know if this is for now while he’s detoxing, or if this is for real.<ee> <rs>Does it really work like that?<re> <rs>Can an alcoholic completely stop loving you after just a week of sobriety?<re>
| 2 | 1 | 2 | null | null |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
how your ex not loving you anymore made you feel
| null | null | null | true | 212 |
eib1rb
|
My new years resolution
|
0
|
chitchat
| 1 |
I'm gonna get my ass into a therapists office, and if I dont become even a little bit happy, then I'm not dealing with this shit anymore.
I'm not asking for a lot, just a little bit of serotonin is all I want
|
LimeLegos
| 1 | 0 | 4 |
2020-01-01 00:03:57
|
depression
|
<rs><efs>I'm gonna get my ass into a therapists office, and if I dont become even a little bit happy, then I'm not dealing with this shit anymore.<efe><re> I'm not asking for a lot, just a little bit of serotonin is all I want
| 0 | 1 | 1 |
What made you feel X ?
|
unhappy
|
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
how you are feeling
|
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
what would help you become happy
| null | true | 11 |
eil6qg
|
No one will read this, but it’s a story about my weird SH experience
|
1a
|
rant
| 2 |
So basically I was on the middle school football team and I was about 13, and one day before practice, I decided to relapse because of a mental breakdown I had. I hid the scars pretty well that day, but during practice I had nothing to cover the scars so I was freaking out. I eventually got noticed by one of my friends and they asked where I got them from. Me, being the dumbass I was, said I was climbing a metal fence and cut myself.
Wtf was I thinking.
Anyway later during practice coach huddled
everyone in and started talking about fighting our battles and having battle scars.
(Not really scars, battles, and stuff, it was suppose to be metaphorical)
Then my friend makes a joke about his bruises from practice and stuff and so did a couple other people.
Then my friend has the “GREAT IDEA” to tell coach about my battle scars, and everyone is just looking at me and waiting. I can’t just not show them so I put out my arms and told them that I got cut by a fence.
And the coach himself, the man that i thought would see right through it, thought I was lying and said it looked like cat scratches...
I laughed it off but Jesus Christ that was one huge sigh of relief but also big disappointment.
I’m glad none of my friends found out, but I also wish the coach would say something so I wouldn’t have to, because for me it’s kinda hard to come out to others about SH, I haven’t told anyone in fact yet.
|
GrayGhost82
| 1 | 0 | 4 |
2020-01-01 17:51:31
|
selfharm
|
<es>So basically I was on the middle school football team and I was about 13, and one day before practice, I decided to relapse because of a mental breakdown I had.<ee> <es>I hid the scars pretty well that day, but during practice I had nothing to cover the scars so I was freaking out.<ee> <es>I eventually got noticed by one of my friends and they asked where I got them from.<ee> <es>Me, being the dumbass I was, said I was climbing a metal fence and cut myself. <ee> Wtf was I thinking. <es>Anyway later during practice coach huddled everyone in and started talking about fighting our battles and having battle scars. (Not really scars, battles, and stuff, it was suppose to be metaphorical)<ee> <es>Then my friend makes a joke about his bruises from practice and stuff and so did a couple other people. <ee> <es>Then my friend has the “GREAT IDEA” to tell coach about my battle scars, and everyone is just looking at me and waiting.<ee> <es>I can’t just not show them so I put out my arms and told them that I got cut by a fence.<ee> <es>And the coach himself, the man that i thought would see right through it, thought I was lying and said it looked like cat scratches...<ee> <efs>I laughed it off but Jesus Christ that was one huge sigh of relief but also big disappointment.<efe> <efs>I’m glad none of my friends found out, but I also wish the coach would say something so I wouldn’t have to, because for me it’s kinda hard to come out to others about SH, I haven’t told anyone in fact yet.<efe>
| 2 | 2 | 0 | null | null | null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
|
your coach saw your scars
| null | true | 220 |
eiao0r
|
I've been self harm free since the end of 2018. Hoping to keep my streak throughout 2020 and beyond :)
|
0
|
chitchat
| 1 |
Heres to a better future :)
|
locked-and-loading
| 1 | 0 | 4 |
2019-12-31 23:33:11
|
selfharm
|
Heres to a better future :)
| 0 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 0 |
eli65u
|
I (m43) quit using drugs and drinking on Thanksgiving, but now I feel I don't know my wife (f41) and kids (m15 & m24) anymore.
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 2 |
I have been with my wife since we were kids in school.I am 43 and she is 41. We have 2 kids both boys. 24 and 15. We have been together 25 years. Yes we were teen parents and its not been easy at all, but we made it work as best we could, I am sure I failed in many many respects.
I was a party animal in both High School and college, never much of one to drink but I used everything else under the sun.
I had a bad accident just before Thanksgiving, spent some time in the hospital. It was at that point my wife told me I had to either stop using, or not come home.
So I did, I have not used or drank anything since. Its been hard and the holidays were a nightmare. I was out of place and I could tell people
In the time since I have noticed I really don't know my wife and kids that well, if I ever really did between my getting blasted. I am really at a loss now I don't know how to act or be around them, I know there is a whole lot of tension here. I have been looking into finding a therapist, but have not had much luck. I just don't know how to act or what to do now.
I guess I am reaching out to see how to begin to repair my relationship to them.
|
Burner-x-1976
| 1 | 0 | 7 |
2020-01-07 21:34:59
|
addiction
|
I have been with my wife since we were kids in school.I am 43 and she is 41. We have 2 kids both boys. 24 and 15. We have been together 25 years. Yes we were teen parents and its not been easy at all, but we made it work as best we could, I am sure I failed in many many respects. <es>I was a party animal in both High School and college, never much of one to drink but I used everything else under the sun.<ee> <es>I had a bad accident just before Thanksgiving, spent some time in the hospital.<ee> <es>It was at that point my wife told me I had to either stop using, or not come home.<ee> <es>So I did, I have not used or drank anything since.<ee> <es>Its been hard and the holidays were a nightmare.<ee> <es>I was out of place and I could tell people<ee> <es>In the time since I have noticed I really don't know my wife and kids that well, if I ever really did between my getting blasted.<ee> <es>I am really at a loss now I don't know how to act or be around them, I know there is a whole lot of tension here.<ee> <es>I have been looking into finding a therapist, but have not had much luck.<ee> <es>I just don't know how to act or what to do now.<ee> <rs>I guess I am reaching out to see how to begin to repair my relationship to them.<re>
| 2 | 0 | 2 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null |
How did X make you feel?
|
the tension with your family
| null | null | null | true | 202 |
ftoicx
|
Where to take things from here?
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 2 |
Am currently on Wellbutrin and am relatively functional. I work (well, normally. Not during a pandemic), I clean, and exercise-ish, working on the food (cooking and eating is tedious for me).
I still have very bad days and I struggle to set and meet goals. I still don't really see a future "worth living" and have SI daily. I also still deal with a lot of brain fog and exhaustion. I feel like I'm... slower than I could be. Checked with the medical doctors and they say everything looks fine.
I don't really know where to take it from here. I'm thinking about getting off meds, I'm not sure the Wellbutrin's doing anything except messing with my sleep schedule and it's the 4th med I've tried.
Therapy is... nice, we do crafts sometimes, that's fun. And it's nice to have a place to vent. But I don't have depressive thinking. I'm just tired and cynical. I don't believe anything is wrong with *me* or that I can't do an average amount of things with my life*,* I just don't get much joy out of living. Most of the time when the therapist asks me how I feel or responds to things, she goes "oh right, well... that's normal."
She says I have to choose to be positive, but honestly I don't really want to. I'd rather be realistic. Not negative, I'm usually somewhere in between. Like, it won't be good, it won't be bad, it'll be meh. I can get a date, easy. But it'll end one way or another. I can apply for a bunch of cool-looking jobs, but I'll probably end up bored wherever I am after a little while.
Life in general is covered in a blanket of 'meh' for me.
I dunno. Maybe I should stop trying to fix this? Maybe this is as good as it gets for me? I just don't know where I should take things from here.
|
meadowcap
| 1 | 0 | 3 |
2020-04-02 15:40:31
|
getting_over_it
|
<rs>Where to take things from here? <re> <es>Am currently on Wellbutrin and am relatively functional.<ee> <es>I work (well, normally. Not during a pandemic), I clean, and exercise-ish, working on the food (cooking and eating is tedious for me).<ee> <es>I still have very bad days and I struggle to set and meet goals.<ee> <es>I still don't really see a future "worth living" and have SI daily.<ee><efs> I also still deal with a lot of brain fog and exhaustion.<efe> <efs>I feel like I'm... slower than I could be.<efe> <es>Checked with the medical doctors and they say everything looks fine.<ee> <es>I don't really know where to take it from here.<ee> <es>I'm thinking about getting off meds, I'm not sure the Wellbutrin's doing anything except messing with my sleep schedule and it's the 4th med I've tried. <ee> <es>Therapy is... nice, we do crafts sometimes, that's fun.<ee> <es>And it's nice to have a place to vent.<ee> <es>But I don't have depressive thinking.<ee> <efs>I'm just tired and cynical.<efe> <efs>I don't believe anything is wrong with *me* or that I can't do an average amount of things with my life*,* I just don't get much joy out of living.<efe> <es>Most of the time when the therapist asks me how I feel or responds to things, she goes "oh right, well... that's normal." <ee> <es>She says I have to choose to be positive, but honestly I don't really want to.<ee> <es>I'd rather be realistic.<ee> <es>Not negative, I'm usually somewhere in between. Like, it won't be good, it won't be bad, it'll be meh.<ee> <es>I can get a date, easy.<ee> <es>But it'll end one way or another.<ee> <es>I can apply for a bunch of cool-looking jobs, but I'll probably end up bored wherever I am after a little while. <ee> <efs>Life in general is covered in a blanket of 'meh' for me.<efe> I dunno. <rs>Maybe I should stop trying to fix this?<re> <rs>Maybe this is as good as it gets for me?<re> <es>I just don't know where I should take things from here.<ee>
| 2 | 2 | 2 | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 222 |
ejdud0
|
Losing your FP
|
1b
|
help-seeking
| 1 |
So after an argument last night I have completely lost my FP. I feel so alone now absolutely empty. I can't even cry. I feel so betrayed and not good enough. I tried explaining to him why I lashed out and why I've been so different the last few days and he just doesn't seem to care, immediately he refers me and compares me to his ex. I can't take it anymore. He hasn't even text back now after our argument. I thought I'd explain myself and tell him I'm struggling but no... he is fucking gone, absolutely gone. What the fuck do I do now. I feel so alone and abandoned 😥
|
bpdslut99
| 2 | 0 | 12 |
2020-01-03 10:48:54
|
BPD
|
<es>So after an argument last night I have completely lost my FP.<ee> <efs>I feel so alone now absolutely empty.<efe> <efs>I can't even cry.<efe> <efs>I feel so betrayed and not good enough.<efe> <es> I tried explaining to him why I lashed out and why I've been so different the last few days and he just doesn't seem to care, immediately he refers me and compares me to his ex.<ee> <es> I can't take it anymore.<ee> <es>He hasn't even text back now after our argument.<ee> <es> I thought I'd explain myself and tell him I'm struggling but no... he is fucking gone, absolutely gone.<ee> <rs>What the fuck do I do now.<re> <efs>I feel so alone and abandoned .<efe>
| 2 | 2 | 2 | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 222 |
eiddzn
|
Social anxiety on New Years, trying to find the courage to go out and enjoy the festivities at the bar but needing help. Feels pretty lonely spending the first New Years after divorce.
|
1b
|
help-seeking
| 1 |
Came on vacation with my family to the carribean and made plans with my stepdad to go to the bar and have some drinks, celebrate New Years and watch the fireworks.
He decided last minute he was too tired and he was just going to sleep.
I’ve recently divorced and now spending my first New Years by myself, and it feels pretty lonely and I wanted to distract myself from the loneliness by going to the bar and having a couple of drinks and enjoying the night albeit by myself, but the social anxiety is crippling and I don’t really know what to do.
I would love to go, but I don’t want to sit there by myself while everyone else is there with a group, and I feel like I will stick out like a sore thumb, looking like a loser having drinks by myself.
What should I do? How do I gather up the courage to go by myself? I don’t know if I can even try to put myself out there and try to socialize... how do you talk to people at bars?
|
throwaway191972
| 1 | 0 | 2 |
2020-01-01 03:33:50
|
Anxiety
|
<es>Came on vacation with my family to the carribean and made plans with my stepdad to go to the bar and have some drinks, celebrate New Years and watch the fireworks.<ee> <es>He decided last minute he was too tired and he was just going to sleep.<ee> <es>I’ve recently divorced and now spending my first New Years by myself.<ee> <efs>it feels pretty lonely and I wanted to distract myself from the loneliness by going to the bar and having a couple of drinks and enjoying the night albeit by myself, but the social anxiety is crippling and I don’t really know what to do.<efe> <rs>I would love to go, but I don’t want to sit there by myself while everyone else is there with a group, and I feel like I will stick out like a sore thumb, looking like a loser having drinks by myself. <re> <rs>What should I do?<re> <rs>How do I gather up the courage to go by myself?<re> <rs>I don’t know if I can even try to put myself out there and try to socialize... how do you talk to people at bars?<re>
| 2 | 2 | 2 | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 222 |
er07u3
|
Want to know how dangerous tramadol withdrawal is?
|
0
|
help-seeking
| 1 |
I took 400mg modafinil with caffeine and i fell asleep soundly. I have no modafinil tolerance too...
|
Prudent-Jellyfish
| 1 | 0 | 5 |
2020-01-19 18:39:55
|
OpiatesRecovery
|
<rs>Want to know how dangerous tramadol withdrawal is?<re> <es>I took 400mg modafinil with caffeine and i fell asleep soundly.<ee> <es>I have no modafinil tolerance too...<ee>
| 1 | 0 | 2 |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
why you are taking modafinil
|
How did X make you feel?
|
not taking tramadol
| null | null | null | true | 102 |
eict26
|
I feel like shit
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 1 |
I really need some advice, the new year is only 30 minutes away, and my year was rough.
I started having panic attacks in the final exams of the first semester after I doubled the dose of Ritalin, and then anxiety just haunts me. I had to quit my job at an excelente Company, Boston Scientific, because whenever I'm driving to anywhere I have anxiety attacks and i have the thought that I'm gonna die from a heart attack or something.
On top of that I started to take unprescribed Klonopin for about two weeks now, everyday, and the dosage keeps getting higher, so is my anxiety.
Tonight I caught myself mixing it with alcohol just to feel good and calm.
The hole keeps getting deeper
I don't know what to do anymore
|
dudekeller
| 1 | 0 | 1 |
2020-01-01 02:36:41
|
Anxiety
|
<rs>I really need some advice, the new year is only 30 minutes away, and my year was rough.<re> <es>I started having panic attacks in the final exams of the first semester after I doubled the dose of Ritalin, and then anxiety just haunts me.<ee> <efs>I had to quit my job at an excelente Company, Boston Scientific, because whenever I'm driving to anywhere I have anxiety attacks and i have the thought that I'm gonna die from a heart attack or something.<efe> <es>On top of that I started to take unprescribed Klonopin for about two weeks now, everyday, and the dosage keeps getting higher, so is my anxiety.<ee> <es>Tonight I caught myself mixing it with alcohol just to feel good and calm.<ee> <es>The hole keeps getting deeper<ee> I don't know what to do anymore
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
what causes the anxiety attacks
|
How did X make you feel?
|
the panic attacks
|
What do you need help with now that X?
|
the drugs are unable to control your anxiety
| null | true | 100 |
eif7nw
|
Leaving self harm in the last decade
|
1a
|
rant
| 1 |
I've told myself multiple times that I would stop self harming during the past 5 years I've done it for but I always go back to it. I stopped October of last year (happy new year guys!) and I'm planning on never doing it ever again in my life. When I started and these past 5 years I always felt so alone and had no one to support me, but now I have a few close friends and a boyfriend that mean everything to me and support me so much. I hope I can do this.
|
necroticcheetah
| 1 | 0 | 1 |
2020-01-01 06:38:19
|
selfharm
|
<es>I've told myself multiple times that I would stop self harming during the past 5 years I've done it for but I always go back to it.<ee> <es>I stopped October of last year (happy new year guys!) and I'm planning on never doing it ever again in my life.<ee> <efs>When I started and these past 5 years I always felt so alone and had no one to support me, but now I have a few close friends and a boyfriend that mean everything to me and support me so much.<efe> I hope I can do this.
| 1 | 1 | 0 |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
why you harm yourself
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Can you elaborate more on X ?
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cutting yourself
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What do you need help with now that X?
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you are planning to stop doing self harm
| null | true | 110 |
emmgn9
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Dont blame all your problems on drugs and dont expect life to magically get perfect when you manage to stay sober
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1a
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rant
| 2 |
Wouldn't say my use is unhealthy. I (25M) have a stressful job and drink almost every single day. Usually just a couple beers with my wife, I go to bars a couple times a week and get wasted once or twice a month on average. I smoke pot regularly but it's usually all or nothing. I'll smoke half a blunt or a bit more per day for a few weeks and then I stop for a couple weeks. I do molly every once in a while and coke a couple times a year.
Every now and then, things escalate and all those things kinda come together. More drinking than average, a lot of smoking every single day and some hard drugs added to that mix while going out. Whenever I have a month like that, I feel pretty bad about myself and blame all of it on the substances. When I finally decide it's been enough, I stop doing all substances for 2-4 weeks and try to have a more regular sleep schedule. I somehow always have the unrealistic expectation that I'll feel like superman after a week of being sober caus of the "new healthy lifestyle". But the reality is, it's not just the hangovers and the drugs that make my life hard. Life just happens to be hard sometimes and the drugs and alcohol just help you unwind. The key is to find a healthy balance which I struggle with caus my use always escalates.
To everyone out there who feels the same way, try to keep things under control, dont overdo it but most importantly... if you've been overdoing it and plan on getting healthier, dont expect life to be perfect while clean. It wont be and you deserve some fun but you gotta find the right balance
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boredbelgian
| 1 | 0 | 1 |
2020-01-10 05:25:45
|
addiction
|
Wouldn't say my use is unhealthy. I (25M) have a stressful job and drink almost every single day. Usually just a couple beers with my wife, I go to bars a couple times a week and get wasted once or twice a month on average. I smoke pot regularly but it's usually all or nothing. I'll smoke half a blunt or a bit more per day for a few weeks and then I stop for a couple weeks. I do molly every once in a while and coke a couple times a year. Every now and then, things escalate and all those things kinda come together. More drinking than average, a lot of smoking every single day and some hard drugs added to that mix while going out. Whenever I have a month like that, I feel pretty bad about myself and blame all of it on the substances. When I finally decide it's been enough, I stop doing all substances for 2-4 weeks and try to have a more regular sleep schedule. I somehow always have the unrealistic expectation that I'll feel like superman after a week of being sober caus of the "new healthy lifestyle". But the reality is, it's not just the hangovers and the drugs that make my life hard. Life just happens to be hard sometimes and the drugs and alcohol just help you unwind. The key is to find a healthy balance which I struggle with caus my use always escalates. To everyone out there who feels the same way, try to keep things under control, dont overdo it but most importantly... if you've been overdoing it and plan on getting healthier, dont expect life to be perfect while clean. It wont be and you deserve some fun but you gotta find the right balance
| 0 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
positive
| true | 0 |
ekqa6s
|
Having a breakdown now
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1a
|
rant
| 2 |
Is funny how I come to a point in my life where every single thing I try to do for my best is seen as something stupid. Trying to go for art and animation major instead of something "normal" for my parents was a huge disappointment and my friends don't really give a fuck also, not seeking approval but sometimes having support helps.
In love we'll it has always been like shit, had met people who told me many times they cared about me and they "valued" what i am, but with such hypocrisy that they talked shit about me with their relatives or closed ones and have a huge record on people cheating on me, I even tried online dating to feel a little bit better and try to find someone out there, it didn't work.
As someone who was diagnosed with schizophrenia I suffered a lot alone, but never had the right support and even payed my treatment by myself, but now I don't know why I should keep taking care of myself, it doesn't really matter.
Maybe am just an idiot looking for advice from people I don't know in reddit, but is the only place I have to distract my head a little bit, I already reached my lowest point, I loosed my friends, and if I ever had love from someone, it's already gone
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Doobwoog
| 1 | 0 | 1 |
2020-01-06 06:46:25
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sad
|
<es>Is funny how I come to a point in my life where every single thing I try to do for my best is seen as something stupid.<ee> <es>Trying to go for art and animation major instead of something "normal" for my parents was a huge disappointment and my friends don't really give a fuck also, not seeking approval but sometimes having support helps.<ee> <es>In love we'll it has always been like shit, had met people who told me many times they cared about me and they "valued" what i am, but with such hypocrisy that they talked shit about me with their relatives or closed ones and have a huge record on people cheating on me, I even tried online dating to feel a little bit better and try to find someone out there, it didn't work.<ee> <es>As someone who was diagnosed with schizophrenia I suffered a lot alone, but never had the right support and even payed my treatment by myself, but now I don't know why I should keep taking care of myself, it doesn't really matter.<ee> <rs>Maybe am just an idiot looking for advice from people I don't know in reddit, but is the only place I have to distract my head a little bit.<re><es>I already reached my lowest point, I loosed my friends, and if I ever had love from someone, it's already gone<ee>
| 2 | 0 | 1 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null |
How did X make you feel?
|
being ridiculed for whatever you do
|
Can you elaborate more on X ?
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what would help deal with all your hurt
| null | true | 201 |
eu3uxy
|
i think i’ve made the decision to leave....
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0
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help-seeking
| 1 |
things just escalated to the Point of no re the tonight and i have a couple options as to where j can go. i found a studio for $350 plus utilities which is probably the max i could pay. i have a full time job for a well established company in may community put i am super concerned about being about to make all my bills. do D/V shelters ever offer financial for housing? i am also concerned because i am planning on starting nursing school in the fall and may need to cut down my hours resulting in less income.
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livinganANTlife
| 1 | 0 | 2 |
2020-01-26 07:40:55
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domesticviolence
|
<es>things just escalated to the Point of no re the tonight and i have a couple options as to where j can go.<ee> <es>i found a studio for $350 plus utilities which is probably the max i could pay.<ee> <es>i have a full time job for a well established company in may community put i am super concerned about being about to make all my bills.<ee> <rs>do D/V shelters ever offer financial for housing?<re> <es>i am also concerned because i am planning on starting nursing school in the fall and may need to cut down my hours resulting in less income.<ee>
| 1 | 0 | 2 |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
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why things escalated to the point of no return
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How did X make you feel?
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the issue getting escalated
| null | null | null | true | 102 |
erwnub
|
Make The Most Of Your Introversion {How to Embrace Being an Introvert}
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0
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chitchat
| 1 | null |
EmyG28
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
2020-01-21 16:07:51
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selfhelp
| null | 0 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 0 |
eyw48y
|
[Petition] Please Help Keep Mom and Kiddo Safe from Abusive Father
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1b
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chitchat
| 2 |
((This is a petition I am sharing for a friend who does not have access to Reddit.))
⚠️ 3pm PST deadline
Please— Help out a fierce and wonderful mama Kesha, and her sweet kiddo, Malachi.
TW: child abuse / prison talk
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Malachi’s dad burned his little baby hands with boiling water when he was just a toddler. He still had the scars and therapies to work through to this day.
Malachi and his mama, Kesha, both deserve to feel safe. And unfortunately, the system let them down. Just yesterday they found out that his father may be released on a technicality. That’s where you come in.
Please sign the [petition](https://www.ipetitions.com/petition/do-not-free-dante-roberson?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=social&loc=thank-you-page&fbclid=IwAR29qTrUQtBQmfeAice6SfG_NNoc9Vb6srTW7LJH92fvm7_vty8HehogS4s), and or write a letter to send to kesha\[email protected] to advocate for their safety in keeping his father in jail to serve his full sentence.
I know many of us are not supporters of imprisonment as a system, but at this point in time, this is the only option many women and children have to feel safe from violent abusive men in a world where there isn’t much protection or support systems in place for mothers and children, who should be able to live in safety and without fear.
& Write a supportive email to Kesha if you are able.
Thanks, friends.
|
TastyDesignStudio
| 1 | 0 | 2 |
2020-02-04 20:05:49
|
domesticviolence
|
((This is a petition I am sharing for a friend who does not have access to Reddit.)) ⚠️ 3pm PST deadline Please— Help out a fierce and wonderful mama Kesha, and her sweet kiddo, Malachi. TW: child abuse / prison talk . . . . . . . . . . . . Malachi’s dad burned his little baby hands with boiling water when he was just a toddler. He still had the scars and therapies to work through to this day. Malachi and his mama, Kesha, both deserve to feel safe. And unfortunately, the system let them down. Just yesterday they found out that his father may be released on a technicality. That’s where you come in. Please sign the [petition](https://www.ipetitions.com/petition/do-not-free-dante-roberson?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=social&loc=thank-you-page&fbclid=IwAR29qTrUQtBQmfeAice6SfG_NNoc9Vb6srTW7LJH92fvm7_vty8HehogS4s), and or write a letter to send to kesha\[email protected] to advocate for their safety in keeping his father in jail to serve his full sentence. I know many of us are not supporters of imprisonment as a system, but at this point in time, this is the only option many women and children have to feel safe from violent abusive men in a world where there isn’t much protection or support systems in place for mothers and children, who should be able to live in safety and without fear. & Write a supportive email to Kesha if you are able. Thanks, friends.
| 0 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
random
| true | 0 |
ekbvg1
|
Quitting all drugs that I don’t absolutely need. Any advice?
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 1 |
For the past almost 10 years I have been dealing with mental health issues. A lot of these issues stem from things in my life that need addressing. For the last 5 or 6 years I have been self medicating with various drugs and for the past 2-3 years I have been getting high on one thing or another every single day. 5 days ago I decided I am going to stop abusing drugs. There are some exceptions. Over the past couple years I have developed a pretty bad physical dependence on kratom and if I quit that cold turkey I would be unable to go to work or school for weeks maybe months so I am doing a taper for now. Also I am still taking my prescribed medication and nicotine.
I am completely cutting out alcohol, weed, acid, shrooms, MDMA, pills (other than prescribed), propylhexedrine and any other drug I can get my hands on. I would usually drink 4-5 nights a week and do acid 1-2 times a week with the alcohol. The other ones were used relatively sparingly. Feeling like absolute shit after doing molly for a couple nights in a row made me really want to try and quit.
Multiple times a day I get depressed about one thing or another and think that I should just give up and get high or drunk but I have stuck with it so far. My friends and family are supportive for the most part.
Those of you that have been in similar situations, what things do you do when you feel like taking drugs because of problems in your life?
|
xaniel_the_legend
| 1 | 0 | 1 |
2020-01-05 11:26:35
|
getting_over_it
|
<es>For the past almost 10 years I have been dealing with mental health issues.<ee> <es>A lot of these issues stem from things in my life that need addressing.<ee> <es>For the last 5 or 6 years I have been self medicating with various drugs and for the past 2-3 years I have been getting high on one thing or another every single day.<ee> <es>5 days ago I decided I am going to stop abusing drugs.<ee> There are some exceptions. <es>Over the past couple years I have developed a pretty bad physical dependence on kratom and if I quit that cold turkey I would be unable to go to work or school for weeks maybe months so I am doing a taper for now.<ee> <es>Also I am still taking my prescribed medication and nicotine.<ee> <es>I am completely cutting out alcohol, weed, acid, shrooms, MDMA, pills (other than prescribed), propylhexedrine and any other drug I can get my hands on.<ee> <es>I would usually drink 4-5 nights a week and do acid 1-2 times a week with the alcohol.<ee> <es>The other ones were used relatively sparingly.<ee> <efs>Feeling like absolute shit after doing molly for a couple nights in a row made me really want to try and quit. <efe> <es>Multiple times a day I get depressed about one thing or another and think that I should just give up and get high or drunk but I have stuck with it so far.<ee> My friends and family are supportive for the most part. <rs>Those of you that have been in similar situations, what things do you do when you feel like taking drugs because of problems in your life?<re>
| 2 | 1 | 2 | null | null |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
how you feel without the drugs
| null | null | null | true | 212 |
esomg6
|
Oh shit
|
0
|
rant
| 1 |
Yeah just broke my desk while playing a game, pretty happy about that.
I actually snapped a huge chunk off
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PcChillin
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
2020-01-23 05:23:21
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Anger
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Yeah just broke my desk while playing a game, pretty happy about that. I actually snapped a huge chunk off
| 0 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 0 |
ek331c
|
i’m 83 days sober
|
1a
|
chitchat
| 5 |
i cant believe i’ve been sober for this long. i actually cant believe it. i hadn’t even thought about it until now. and i think i feel genuinely proud. for the first time i can remember, i feel happy that i’ve done something.
during the last 83 days, i can’t even begin to count how many times i considered getting into drugs again. how much i craved something in my system. but somehow, i didn’t do anything. how in the fuck is that even possible?
things have been the most hard they’ve been in ages. i have no idea how i’ve pulled through sober. i’m still scared i’ll relapse, i really am and honestly it feels inevitable but for now, i’ll cherish this. i still crave stuff all the time and it’s okay. i’m trying to be better.
to whoever’s reading this. whether you’re sober or not, i’m so so so proud of you. thank you for staying another day. i believe in you and you can do this.
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nwaisou
| 67 | 0 | 12 |
2020-01-04 21:49:25
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mentalillness
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i cant believe i’ve been sober for this long. i actually cant believe it. i hadn’t even thought about it until now. and i think i feel genuinely proud. for the first time i can remember, i feel happy that i’ve done something. during the last 83 days, i can’t even begin to count how many times i considered getting into drugs again. how much i craved something in my system. but somehow, i didn’t do anything. how in the fuck is that even possible? things have been the most hard they’ve been in ages. i have no idea how i’ve pulled through sober. i’m still scared i’ll relapse, i really am and honestly it feels inevitable but for now, i’ll cherish this. i still crave stuff all the time and it’s okay. i’m trying to be better. to whoever’s reading this. whether you’re sober or not, i’m so so so proud of you. thank you for staying another day. i believe in you and you can do this.
| 0 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
thought
| true | 0 |
eimnwx
|
Me realizing I really have BPD after my OG FP passed away
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0
|
rant
| 2 | null |
arylea
| 1 | 0 | 1 |
2020-01-01 19:42:50
|
BPD
|
<es>Me realizing I really have BPD after my OG FP passed away<ee> nan
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
your BPD symptoms
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How did X make you feel?
|
your OG FP passing away
|
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you realize you have BPD
| null | true | 100 |
emw7b4
|
Idk whats happening w me
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 2 |
So i dont know where to post this...
I dont know whats going on w me anymore sometimes i feel fine like i had progress but then 5 min later i feel sad and stressed and frustrated and i cant breath and start crying it doesnt matter where i am and cant fucking controll it
For example i was on the bus omw to my school and it just hit me i started to feel bad and i told my mom about it and told her to talk to me because if i listen to someone talk its better but it didnt help and i started crying ON THE FUCKING BUS. That was the first time my mom relaised somethig is really wrong w me,,,, i told her and my sister about this kind of things but they never took me seriusly until that moment but it didnt last long... my mom said you must be tired and thats why and my sister said its gonna be over soon.... like wtf.... why are they saying that i will be okay if that isnt fuckin true
Somebody please tell me what is wrong with me and why i have these moodswings and criyng things???????
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phreb
| 1 | 0 | 4 |
2020-01-10 19:54:26
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mentalillness
|
So i dont know where to post this... <efs>I dont know whats going on w me anymore sometimes i feel fine like i had progress but then 5 min later i feel sad and stressed and frustrated and i cant breath and start crying it doesnt matter where i am and cant fucking controll it<efe> For example i was on the bus omw to my school and it just hit me i started to feel bad and i told my mom about it and told her to talk to me because if i listen to someone talk its better but it didnt help and i started crying ON THE FUCKING BUS. That was the first time my mom relaised somethig is really wrong w me,,,, i told her and my sister about this kind of things but they never took me seriusly until that moment but it didnt last long... my mom said you must be tired and thats why and my sister said its gonna be over soon.... like wtf.... why are they saying that i will be okay if that isnt fuckin true <rs>Somebody please tell me what is wrong with me and why i have these moodswings and criyng things???????<re>
| 0 | 2 | 2 |
What made you feel X ?
|
sad and distressed
| null | null | null | null | null | true | 22 |
emk83l
|
We have a fucked up family...
|
1b
|
rant
| 1 |
I know I complained about things earlier, but now I just don't know what to do at this point, and this post is the sadness of me and my mom combined...
My mom is from Colombia, one of the first to move to the states, specifically florida..... She has siblings when for the longest time would dish out her money to help them...
My grandfather (her dad) died in 2010, and for a long time we hadn't received the inheritance. Until we got a call from my mom's sister who said we should be getting it by December 15.. and excuse after bullshit excuse she just pushes the days back. Me and my m are losing money, my mom hasn't renewed her license plate or her driver's license because the money would go straight to the rent and are left with nothing, and my cat definitely needs medical attention since I found an ulcer in her gums one day.
Crazy part is my aunt didn't give her brother his share either and they live super close. All my aunt talks about is being crowned queen of the carnivals in Barranquilla, but completely disregards the fact that me and my mom need that money to take care of our problems and they're piling up and it's putting us in a depression...
I don't even know how I can help her in this...
|
littlenerd916
| 1 | 0 | 3 |
2020-01-10 02:14:57
|
getting_over_it
|
I know I complained about things earlier, but now I just don't know what to do at this point, and this post is the sadness of me and my mom combined... <es>My mom is from Colombia, one of the first to move to the states, specifically Florida.....<ee> <es>She has siblings when for the longest time would dish out her money to help them...<ee> <es>My grandfather (her dad) died in 2010, and for a long time we hadn't received the inheritance.<ee> <es>Until we got a call from my mom's sister who said we should be getting it by December 15.. and excuse after bullshit excuse she just pushes the days back.<ee> <es>Me and my m are losing money, my mom hasn't renewed her license plate or her driver's license because the money would go straight to the rent and are left with nothing, and my cat definitely needs medical attention since I found an ulcer in her gums one day.<ee> <es>Crazy part is my aunt didn't give her brother his share either and they live super close.<ee> <efs>All my aunt talks about is being crowned queen of the carnivals in Barranquilla, but completely disregards the fact that me and my mom need that money to take care of our problems and they're piling up and it's putting us in a depression...<efe> I don't even know how I can help her in this...
| 2 | 1 | 0 | null | null |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
how you are feeling
|
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you don't have money to cure your problems
| null | true | 210 |
em7eyf
|
Been adicited to opiates (oxy) consistently for 3 years and want stop. Please help.
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 2 |
Hello, I'm a 24 year old college student in Northern CA getting ready to graduate with my BS after next semester and I am addicted to oxycodone. I've never said this out loud before but I believe myself to be a functional opiate addict with no prior drug related addictions or mental health problems. I was intoduced to painkillers (norcos) in 2013 when I got surgery on my torn ACL and was prescribed a (60 count I believe) bottle which I refilled once. Since then I have been taking opiates on and off for the last 6 years. I've really been taking opiates consistently for the last 2 years though, at this point I've grown dependent to oxycodone (taking on avg. between 2-5, 30mg pills a day) and have tried to stop on my own but within the last few months, but have unable to stop. I'm on this forum today asking for advice on what I should do. Everytime I've tried to stop on my own I get horrible withdrawals and always seem to come baeck for more. I know I have so much life ahead of me and I really want to be able to graduate and get a job without having to live with this addiction. Even when I am able to go a couple of days without taking anything, oxy is all that I can think about and I become extremely depressed, anxious, and crave more. I'm double insured through Kaiser and Sutter and have been heavily considering going to Kaiser for treatment but I am worried about what will happen if I do. I work and am in college full time so I don't want to be checked into an inpatient rehab center which is what's held me back for so long from going to Kaiser for help. Also, not wanting my family to find out about this situation is extremely important to me. I've recently talked to my friend's mom who has been prescribed Suboxone for a while now and she said it helped her beat her opiate addiction. She's even given me some before which really helped a lot with withdrawals and killed my urge to take more opiates but only taking a couple Suboxone after being on oxy for so long didn't help with the mental part of it. Once I ran out of the Suboxone I was able to go a few days without taking anything until I started feeling bad again and the need to take opiates came back into my mind, which then is when it all started up again. Overall, I'm completely mentally and physically exhausted from taking opiates and slowly killing myself so if anybody has any advice on how I should go about getting help or how the process works at Kaiser then please let me know. I'm scared that this problem I have is going to ruin my life if I don't get ahold of it before it's too late. I personally think that getting a prescription for suboxone would really do wonders for me because it really did help me when I was on them. At this point, any advice or words of wisdom from people who have experienced what I'm going through is greatly appreciated. Thank you for your time.
|
jshelley3
| 1 | 0 | 48 |
2020-01-09 09:37:02
|
OpiatesRecovery
|
<es>Hello, I'm a 24 year old college student in Northern CA getting ready to graduate with my BS after next semester and I am addicted to oxycodone.<ee> <es>I've never said this out loud before but I believe myself to be a functional opiate addict with no prior drug related addictions or mental health problems.<ee> <es>I was intoduced to painkillers (norcos) in 2013 when I got surgery on my torn ACL and was prescribed a (60 count I believe) bottle which I refilled once.<ee> <es>Since then I have been taking opiates on and off for the last 6 years.<ee> <es>I've really been taking opiates consistently for the last 2 years though, at this point I've grown dependent to oxycodone (taking on avg. between 2-5, 30mg pills a day) and have tried to stop on my own but within the last few months, but have unable to stop.<ee> <rsI'm on this forum today asking for advice on what I should do.<re> <efs>Everytime I've tried to stop on my own I get horrible withdrawals and always seem to come baeck for more.<efe> <rs>I know I have so much life ahead of me and I really want to be able to graduate and get a job without having to live with this addiction.<re> <efs>Even when I am able to go a couple of days without taking anything, oxy is all that I can think about and I become extremely depressed, anxious, and crave more.<efe> <es>I'm double insured through Kaiser and Sutter and have been heavily considering going to Kaiser for treatment but I am worried about what will happen if I do.<ee> <es>I work and am in college full time so I don't want to be checked into an inpatient rehab center which is what's held me back for so long from going to Kaiser for help.<ee> <es>Also, not wanting my family to find out about this situation is extremely important to me.<ee> <es>I've recently talked to my friend's mom who has been prescribed Suboxone for a while now and she said it helped her beat her opiate addiction.<ee> <es>She's even given me some before which really helped a lot with withdrawals and killed my urge to take more opiates but only taking a couple Suboxone after being on oxy for so long didn't help with the mental part of it.<ee> <efs>Once I ran out of the Suboxone I was able to go a few days without taking anything until I started feeling bad again and the need to take opiates came back into my mind, which then is when it all started up again.<efe> <efs>Overall, I'm completely mentally and physically exhausted from taking opiates and slowly killing myself.<efe> <rs>so if anybody has any advice on how I should go about getting help or how the process works at Kaiser then please let me know.<re> <efs>I'm scared that this problem I have is going to ruin my life if I don't get ahold of it before it's too late.<efe> <rs>I personally think that getting a prescription for suboxone would really do wonders for me because it really did help me when I was on them.<re> <rs>At this point, any advice or words of wisdom from people who have experienced what I'm going through is greatly appreciated.<re> Thank you for your time.
| 2 | 2 | 2 | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 222 |
eiiif2
|
Why just negative posts, enjoy SA too
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0
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chitchat
| 1 | null |
pikachfa
| 1 | 0 | 4 |
2020-01-01 13:49:56
|
socialanxiety
| null | 0 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
random
| true | 0 |
elbdfa
|
One year today
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0
|
chitchat
| 2 |
One year ago today I was back in rehab. I had checked myself in the day before, but with a BAC of .39 they had to send me to the hospital. That was a dark time for me. I had been to rehab the previous summer and thought it “worked,” but I was back out in no time. The holidays had been one long bender where I was downing ~1/2 gallon of Nikolai a day. If I’m being honest, I only went to rehab because I lost my bank card and I couldn’t figure out how to get more booze. Knowing that DTs were imminent, I reluctantly asked my mom for help (call the rehab as well as get me a bottle in the meantime).
That rehab wasn’t the best, there were drugs and sex and people only there to avoid prison or get in out of the cold. But the one thing they did for me - that ended up completely changing my life - was hammering into my head that I needed to get to an A.A. meeting, put my hand up and ask for help. So, roughly one month later, I went to a meeting and did one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I raised my hand and said I was new, I was scared and I needed help. Life hasn’t been the same since. In the following months I got a sponsor, got a home group, got commitments, worked steps and tried to help other alcoholics any way I could.
Things have changed so much in the past year. I’m no longer ashamed of the man I am. I think of others before myself. I try to be helpful and of service in all aspects of my life. I have a relationship with my higher power that I never dreamed possible (I was previously an atheist). I try my best to be better every day. No matter what I don’t take a drink, but that sobriety is completely reliant upon the maintenance of my spiritual condition.
If you’re new to A.A., believe me, you’re in the right place. Take a chance, swallow your pride and ask for help. Be honest about your problem and someone with reach their hand out and help you. You will begin a journey beyond your wildest dreams. All you have to do is ask.
|
shermanhelms
| 1 | 0 | 12 |
2020-01-07 13:11:45
|
alcoholicsanonymous
|
One year ago today I was back in rehab. I had checked myself in the day before, but with a BAC of .39 they had to send me to the hospital. That was a dark time for me. I had been to rehab the previous summer and thought it “worked,” but I was back out in no time. The holidays had been one long bender where I was downing ~1/2 gallon of Nikolai a day. If I’m being honest, I only went to rehab because I lost my bank card and I couldn’t figure out how to get more booze. Knowing that DTs were imminent, I reluctantly asked my mom for help (call the rehab as well as get me a bottle in the meantime). That rehab wasn’t the best, there were drugs and sex and people only there to avoid prison or get in out of the cold. But the one thing they did for me - that ended up completely changing my life - was hammering into my head that I needed to get to an A.A. meeting, put my hand up and ask for help. So, roughly one month later, I went to a meeting and did one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I raised my hand and said I was new, I was scared and I needed help. Life hasn’t been the same since. In the following months I got a sponsor, got a home group, got commitments, worked steps and tried to help other alcoholics any way I could. Things have changed so much in the past year. I’m no longer ashamed of the man I am. I think of others before myself. I try to be helpful and of service in all aspects of my life. I have a relationship with my higher power that I never dreamed possible (I was previously an atheist). I try my best to be better every day. No matter what I don’t take a drink, but that sobriety is completely reliant upon the maintenance of my spiritual condition. If you’re new to A.A., believe me, you’re in the right place. Take a chance, swallow your pride and ask for help. Be honest about your problem and someone with reach their hand out and help you. You will begin a journey beyond your wildest dreams. All you have to do is ask.
| 0 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
positive
| true | 0 |
enq1f1
|
18 months clean!
|
0
|
chitchat
| 2 |
I never thought while in active addiction that I would be sitting here typing this. I thought I was going to die an addict. I was using enough of my DOC to kill a horse at the end of my addiction (and I mean that literally). But here I am, living happy, joyous, and free in this new life. I am not the same girl I was before addiction - that girl didn’t know how to cope with life, but this girl does. I attempted suicide before making the decision to get clean - I had lost my job, couldn’t imagine having to tell my friends what had happened, let alone my family, and, most importantly, didn’t see a future that didn’t involve drugs. I took all of the DOC I had in my apartment, laid down, and as I fell asleep prayed that I wouldn’t wake up. I wasn’t happy to be alive back then, but I’m thrilled to be alive now. It hasn’t been an easy journey, but each step I’ve taken, every tear I’ve cried, each restless night, and every moment of perseverance has led me to this moment. Thank you for letting me share here. I wish all of you luck in your journeys.
|
thatonecouch
| 1 | 0 | 15 |
2020-01-12 17:06:40
|
OpiatesRecovery
|
I never thought while in active addiction that I would be sitting here typing this. I thought I was going to die an addict. I was using enough of my DOC to kill a horse at the end of my addiction (and I mean that literally). But here I am, living happy, joyous, and free in this new life. I am not the same girl I was before addiction - that girl didn’t know how to cope with life, but this girl does. I attempted suicide before making the decision to get clean - I had lost my job, couldn’t imagine having to tell my friends what had happened, let alone my family, and, most importantly, didn’t see a future that didn’t involve drugs. I took all of the DOC I had in my apartment, laid down, and as I fell asleep prayed that I wouldn’t wake up. I wasn’t happy to be alive back then, but I’m thrilled to be alive now. It hasn’t been an easy journey, but each step I’ve taken, every tear I’ve cried, each restless night, and every moment of perseverance has led me to this moment. Thank you for letting me share here. I wish all of you luck in your journeys.
| 0 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
random
| true | 0 |
el8mto
|
I miss being happy
|
0
|
rant
| 1 | null |
adamslife98
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
2020-01-07 08:07:22
|
sad
|
<es>I miss being happy<ee> nan
| 0 | 1 | 0 |
What made you feel X ?
|
so unhappy
|
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
how you are feeling
|
What can help you overcome X ?
|
the feeling of unhappiness
| null | true | 10 |
ej72dn
|
I was just diagnosed. I have a question.
|
0
|
help-seeking
| 1 |
So I was diagnosed with bipolar 2 disorder about a year ago and today my psychiatrist told me I have borderline personality disorder. To be fair I do meet alot of the criteria but... I am NEVER in a relationship. I avoid relationships like the plague. The only person I have ever been attached to is my mother and I am still very attached and living with her at age 22. I'm not sure if this counts but I am VERY attached to my pets. When my dog went missing in the woods overnight i was 100% ready to kill myself if he never came back. Other than my mom, no relationships that last longer than one date, and I havent been on a date in like 6 months. I hate romantic relationships somone can do something slightly annoying and I will never speak to them again. I WANT to be alone.
I feel like attachment and unstable relationships is the major part of this?
Is anyone else like me or am I being misdiagnosed?
|
randomcacti
| 1 | 0 | 12 |
2020-01-03 00:23:27
|
BPD
|
<es>So I was diagnosed with bipolar 2 disorder about a year ago and today my psychiatrist told me I have borderline personality disorder. To be fair I do meet alot of the criteria but... I am NEVER in a relationship.<ee> <es>I avoid relationships like the plague.<ee> <es>The only person I have ever been attached to is my mother and I am still very attached and living with her at age 22.<ee> <es>I'm not sure if this counts but I am VERY attached to my pets.<ee> <es>SWhen my dog went missing in the woods overnight i was 100% ready to kill myself if he never came back.<ee> <es>Other than my mom, no relationships that last longer than one date, and I havent been on a date in like 6 months.<ee> <efs>I hate romantic relationships somone can do something slightly annoying and I will never speak to them again.<efe> <efs>I WANT to be alone.<efe> <efs>I feel like attachment and unstable relationships is the major part of this? <efe> <rs>Is anyone else like me or am I being misdiagnosed?<re>
| 2 | 2 | 2 | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 222 |
eisvyb
|
My very first new year's resolution is to stop interrupting people.
|
1a
|
survey
| 1 |
Interrupting people is one of my absolute least favorite ADHD side effects. I realized I do it constantly and started noticing people's visible negative reactions. I've never made a new year's resolution before, but this year my resolution is to be more patient in conversations and actively try to interrupt people less often.
Does anyone have any tips for me? What's your ADHD resolution?
|
KimbyPie
| 1 | 0 | 8 |
2020-01-02 03:52:52
|
ADHD
|
<es>Interrupting people is one of my absolute least favorite ADHD side effects.<ee> <es>I realized I do it constantly and started noticing people's visible negative reactions.<ee> <rs>I've never made a new year's resolution before, but this year my resolution is to be more patient in conversations and actively try to interrupt people less often. <re> <rs>Does anyone have any tips for me?<re> <rs>What's your ADHD resolution?<re>
| 1 | 0 | 2 |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
your ADHD
|
How did X make you feel?
|
interrupting people make you feel
| null | null | null | true | 102 |
eis66q
|
hello again
|
1a
|
rant
| 1 |
i haven’t cut in a few months, and haven’t been to this sub in a while, and then today i went to go cut because i felt horrible after such a bad day. i then realized i didn’t bring my razor to my grandmothers house and i am now panicking. fun times.
|
crystalblue06
| 1 | 0 | 1 |
2020-01-02 02:53:17
|
selfharm
|
<es>i haven’t cut in a few months, and haven’t been to this sub in a while.<ee> <efs>then today i went to go cut because i felt horrible after such a bad day.<efe> <es>i then realized i didn’t bring my razor to my grandmothers house and i am now panicking.<ee> fun times.
| 1 | 2 | 0 |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
what made the day bad
| null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you feel horrible after a bad day
| null | true | 120 |
eiwyi7
|
calm harm- a self harm prevention app!
|
0
|
chitchat
| 1 |
hey guys,
someone recently told me about this app called calm harm which helps prevent the urge to self harm. i’ve found it very useful as it’s got heaps of suggestion and helpful ways to feel a little bit better. also just saying, it is not a ‘cure’ and if you need medical or professional advice please seek it. it is just an app to help a little bit. i just wanted to let everyone know about it because it is very helpful and i want to help everyone on this reddit as much as i can. take care of yourselves and try this app! love you all ❤️
|
lauracasiglia
| 1 | 0 | 4 |
2020-01-02 11:09:28
|
selfharm
|
hey guys, someone recently told me about this app called calm harm which helps prevent the urge to self harm. i’ve found it very useful as it’s got heaps of suggestion and helpful ways to feel a little bit better. also just saying, it is not a ‘cure’ and if you need medical or professional advice please seek it. it is just an app to help a little bit. i just wanted to let everyone know about it because it is very helpful and i want to help everyone on this reddit as much as i can. take care of yourselves and try this app! love you all ❤️
| 0 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
positive
| true | 0 |
eit80h
|
Does this make me a freak?
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 1 |
I wrote ‘Fuck You’ all on my body with my own blood and smeared blood everywhere, I thought it was quite funny at first but now I’m starting to question my own sanity or if I’m just a complete freak. Also the cuts haven’t stopped bleeding for an hour now that’s just great
|
todd12344
| 1 | 0 | 8 |
2020-01-02 04:22:35
|
selfharm
|
<es>I wrote ‘Fuck You’ all on my body with my own blood and smeared blood everywhere, I thought it was quite funny at first.<ee> <efs>but now I’m starting to question my own sanity or if I’m just a complete freak.<efe> <es>Also the cuts haven’t stopped bleeding for an hour now that’s just great<ee>
| 1 | 2 | 0 |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
why you harmed yourself
| null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
|
the bleeding hasn't stopped
| null | true | 120 |
ejuqaa
|
What I want to do to myself (Depression)
|
0
|
rant
| 1 | null |
MikeW1041993
| 2 | 0 | 1 |
2020-01-04 09:44:33
|
sad
| null | 0 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
random
| true | 0 |
ezv5yh
|
Am i the only one who HATES mandated reporters?
|
1b
|
survey
| 2 |
Right after it happened i was more than a fucking mess i couldnt think i couldnt eat i could barely walk, so i talked to my school counselor and i before i told her, i told her i dont want anything reported, so i asked her if i could just give her a “hypothetical story of something that happened but NOT ABOUT ME” because i dont want it reported for many reasons (my mom who ran with it and told everyone in the family and loved the attention of having a rape victim daughter, the stigma of being a “snitch” in my part of san diego is reputation destroying, and general privacy issues) and she told me she wouldnt report it if i called it hypothetical, so i gave her a hypothetical story of something that happened to someone else (me) and she reported it anyways and i spent my afternoon being harrased by a team of police officers questioning me when all i said is i want to go home and stop answering there questions, then they brought in this lady who worked for the police but didnt have a uniform who they used to try to convince me to do a rape kit even though i didnt want to because i was already so traumatized, (at this time i wasnt living with my mom because of her abuse, i was staying at friends house) and they called her and made me go home with her EVEN THOUGH THEY KNEW ABOUT THE PAST ABUSE, so to sum up, if you want to report your rape, it should be YOUR choice, not your counselor not a police officer, only YOU. And i think its soooo fucked that other people are allowed to make that decision for you, it puts me in that same hopeless feeling like i felt that night. Also fucking duplicate reports, i already had a report with the police, and when i went to planned parenthood to be tested for stds and pregnancy from the rape, i told them theres already a case on it AND THEY STILL MADE A DUPLICATE REPORT AND I HAD TO GO THRU IT ALL AGAIN. I want more than anything to join a sort of support group, but i cant even do that because of the mandated reporters law, i dont want to deal with another fucking police report.
|
actually_-_so-_-sad
| 1 | 0 | 3 |
2020-02-06 16:56:49
|
rapecounseling
|
<es>Right after it happened i was more than a fucking mess i couldnt think i couldnt eat i could barely walk, so i talked to my school counselor and i before i told her, i told her i dont want anything reported, so i asked her if i could just give her a “hypothetical story of something that happened but NOT ABOUT ME” because i dont want it reported for many reasons (my mom who ran with it and told everyone in the family and loved the attention of having a rape victim daughter, the stigma of being a “snitch” in my part of san diego is reputation destroying, and general privacy issues) and she told me she wouldnt report it if i called it hypothetical, so i gave her a hypothetical story of something that happened to someone else (me) and she reported it anyways.<ee> <es>i spent my afternoon being harrased by a team of police officers questioning me when all i said is i want to go home and stop answering there questions, then they brought in this lady who worked for the police but didnt have a uniform who they used to try to convince me to do a rape kit even though i didnt want to because i was already so traumatized, (at this time i wasnt living with my mom because of her abuse, i was staying at friends house).<ee> <es> they called her and made me go home with her EVEN THOUGH THEY KNEW ABOUT THE PAST ABUSE, so to sum up, if you want to report your rape, it should be YOUR choice, not your counselor not a police officer, only YOU.<ee> <efs>And i think its soooo fucked that other people are allowed to make that decision for you, it puts me in that same hopeless feeling like i felt that night.<efe> <es>Also fucking duplicate reports, i already had a report with the police, and when i went to planned parenthood to be tested for stds and pregnancy from the rape, i told them theres already a case on it AND THEY STILL MADE A DUPLICATE REPORT AND I HAD TO GO THRU IT ALL AGAIN.<ee> <rs>I want more than anything to join a sort of support group, but i cant even do that because of the mandated reporters law, i dont want to deal with another fucking police report.<re>
| 2 | 2 | 1 | null | null | null | null |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
what would help you go through this situation
| null | true | 221 |
eib31o
|
New year
|
0
|
chitchat
| 1 |
I don't have high hopes for this year but to all of you thank you and a happy new year.
|
barnstormer6
| 1 | 0 | 2 |
2020-01-01 00:06:28
|
selfharm
|
I don't have high hopes for this year but to all of you thank you and a happy new year.
| 0 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 0 |
einyxc
|
A tale of two tinder dates
|
1a
|
rant
| 2 |
Recently, I went on a date with someone and it was very apparent that we didn’t share many values or interests and that I wouldn’t enjoy their company on any type of long term regular basis. So naturally, I went back to their place and had sex with them. I left before sunrise because I didn’t even want to sleep next to this person. The whole interaction probably lasted 5 hours. I go home feeling pretty shitty about things and message the person later in the day that I don’t think we should hang out again. Better than a ghost I suppose...
Several nights later I go on another date with someone else. This person and I DID share interests, values, sense of humor, talents, you name it. We met at their place and ended up watching movies and shows until 8 in the morning, surpassing the length of my previous date by 4 hours. We shared a blanket and maybe rubbed up against each other slightly but I was terrified to make any sort of move. I ended up saying something to the effect of “I wanted to kiss you but was having such a nice time being around you that I didn’t.” before making my awkward exit. Probably should have just stfu and kissed them goodnight like a normal person. So I leave and we don’t even hug or anything. I was thinking of turning around and immediately addressing it or sending her a text but at least I had enough control not to do that. Basically, I think ole BPD brain was like “hey you’re actually into this person, better not be vulnerable” whereas I had no problem sleeping with someone I wasn’t attracted to. I am also TERRIBLE at telling if someone is into me.
I text an apology later in the day regarding my big dumb mouth and they tell me “no apology necessary” and might have even flirted with me slightly. Part of me thinks it was out of pity. Anyways... I am aware of the context in which we met so part of me feels guilty for not hooking up with them and like I blew any chance with them. Hope they don’t think I wasted 9 hours of their life.
|
mirrorhugs
| 1 | 0 | 2 |
2020-01-01 21:19:48
|
BPD
|
<es>Recently, I went on a date with someone and it was very apparent that we didn’t share many values or interests and that I wouldn’t enjoy their company on any type of long term regular basis.<ee> <es>So naturally, I went back to their place and had sex with them.<ee> <es>I left before sunrise because I didn’t even want to sleep next to this person.<ee> <es>The whole interaction probably lasted 5 hours.<ee> <efs>I go home feeling pretty shitty about things and message the person later in the day that I don’t think we should hang out again.<efe> <es>Better than a ghost I suppose...<ee> <es>Several nights later I go on another date with someone else.<ee> <es>This person and I DID share interests, values, sense of humor, talents, you name it.<ee> <es> We met at their place and ended up watching movies and shows until 8 in the morning, surpassing the length of my previous date by 4 hours. <ee> <es>We shared a blanket and maybe rubbed up against each other slightly but I was terrified to make any sort of move.<ee> <es> I ended up saying something to the effect of “I wanted to kiss you but was having such a nice time being around you that I didn’t.” before making my awkward exit. <ee> <es>Probably should have just stfu and kissed them goodnight like a normal person. <ee> <es>So I leave and we don’t even hug or anything.<ee> <es> I was thinking of turning around and immediately addressing it or sending her a text but at least I had enough control not to do that.<ee> <es> Basically, I think ole BPD brain was like “hey you’re actually into this person, better not be vulnerable” whereas I had no problem sleeping with someone I wasn’t attracted to.<ee> <es> I am also TERRIBLE at telling if someone is into me.<ee> <es>I text an apology later in the day regarding my big dumb mouth and they tell me “no apology necessary” and might have even flirted with me slightly.<ee> <es>Part of me thinks it was out of pity.<ee> <efs>Anyways... I am aware of the context in which we met so part of me feels guilty for not hooking up with them and like I blew any chance with them.<efe> Hope they don’t think I wasted 9 hours of their life.
| 2 | 2 | 0 | null | null | null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you made panic exits after the two dates
| null | true | 220 |
fhtz9i
|
I found a playlist that is currently helping me deal with an emotional flashback
|
0
|
chitchat
| 1 |
[healing music](https://open.spotify.com/track/4oIJos3WoRVBrn6Q2x0QH5?si=1a27OHELTpiJdXiGDrqLBQ)
|
redditsISproblematic
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
2020-03-13 04:22:15
|
getting_over_it
|
[healing music](https://open.spotify.com/track/4oIJos3WoRVBrn6Q2x0QH5?si=1a27OHELTpiJdXiGDrqLBQ)
| 0 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
random
| true | 0 |
ejy483
|
I am Powerless over Alcohol
|
1a
|
rant
| 3 |
I have finally surrendered to the idea that I am powerless over alcohol. I didn't really believe that, probably throughout my entire duration of sobriety (almost a year). This sounds crazy, but the easiest part for me has been not drinking. Dealing with the WHY's and HOW's of how I got to this point of alcoholism, is the hardest. And the most uncomfortable. Last night, I took a hard look at my life the past 12 or so years (I just turned 30): flunked out of college because my priority was drinking and partying, friendships lost because they moved to other phases of their lives that didn't involve getting plastered regularly, shitty relationships because I attracted the wrong kind of person (because I was the wrong kind of person). My life revolved around drinking. It's hardest for me to accept this, because to some my life looks great. Traveling, good job, stable, reliable. But the alcohol was always my buffer; my savior, my best friend. It could shut my mind off and take my fears away. I guess my moment of clarity, was looking at a Facebook picture of an old college acquaintance and she was sitting at a table with a large margarita in front of her. And a plate of food. I thought to myself: that could never be me. I could never have that be my night. One margarita? Maybe, but only because of the expense. But on the way home, I'm getting a bottle. I'm getting drunk. I am begging others to get drunk with me, even if they don't want to. Even if they have work the next day and priorities and house cleaning and dinner making. Does anyone have coke? Yeah? Lets do that, too. Lets black-out. Lets detach from reality; it will bring us closer. It's that wild energy that I get as soon as I get that first sip, I get that wild energy and that's my downfall.
I feel like I have finally come to terms with the fact that I have lost everything; not to the naked eye, but in my heart I know every failure in my life could be tied to alcohol. To my self-destructive impulses. I lost so many friendships that were important to me because I just couldn't settle down. I couldn't be a normal person. I know this is all over the place, but does anyone understand? Has anyone felt this way?
&#x200B;
Thanks Guys,
Love to you all.
|
coffeeandtea0909
| 51 | 0 | 47 |
2020-01-04 15:43:45
|
alcoholicsanonymous
|
<es>I have finally surrendered to the idea that I am powerless over alcohol.<ee> <es>I didn't really believe that, probably throughout my entire duration of sobriety (almost a year).<ee> <es>This sounds crazy, but the easiest part for me has been not drinking.<ee> <efs>Dealing with the WHY's and HOW's of how I got to this point of alcoholism, is the hardest.<efe> <efs>And the most uncomfortable.<efe> <es>Last night, I took a hard look at my life the past 12 or so years (I just turned 30): flunked out of college because my priority was drinking and partying, friendships lost because they moved to other phases of their lives that didn't involve getting plastered regularly, shitty relationships because I attracted the wrong kind of person (because I was the wrong kind of person).<ee> <es>My life revolved around drinking.<ee> <es>It's hardest for me to accept this, because to some my life looks great.<ee> <es>Traveling, good job, stable, reliable.<ee> <es>But the alcohol was always my buffer; my savior, my best friend.<ee> <es>It could shut my mind off and take my fears away.<ee> <es>I guess my moment of clarity, was looking at a Facebook picture of an old college acquaintance and she was sitting at a table with a large margarita in front of her.<ee> <es>And a plate of food.<ee> <es>I thought to myself: that could never be me.<ee> <es>I could never have that be my night.<ee> <es>One margarita? Maybe, but only because of the expense.<ee> <es>But on the way home, I'm getting a bottle.<ee> <es>I'm getting drunk.<ee> <es>I am begging others to get drunk with me, even if they don't want to.<ee> <es>Even if they have work the next day and priorities and house cleaning and dinner making.<ee> <es>Does anyone have coke?<ee> <es>Yeah?<ee> <es>Lets do that, too.<ee> <es>Lets black-out.<ee> <es>Lets detach from reality; it will bring us closer.<ee> <es>It's that wild energy that I get as soon as I get that first sip, I get that wild energy and that's my downfall. <ee> <efs>I feel like I have finally come to terms with the fact that I have lost everything; not to the naked eye, but in my heart I know every failure in my life could be tied to alcohol.<efe> <efs>To my self-destructive impulses.<efe> <efs>I lost so many friendships that were important to me because I just couldn't settle down.<efe> I couldn't be a normal person. I know this is all over the place, but does anyone understand? Has anyone felt this way? &#x200B; Thanks Guys, Love to you all.
| 2 | 2 | 2 | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 222 |
eln1sw
|
Is it wrong for me to help others for selfish interest?
|
0
|
help-seeking
| 1 |
Whenever I hear someone ask for help, I offer with genuine interest, but at the same time I only do it to hear praise for me and get a confidence/ego boost to make myself feel better. Is it wrong for me to do this?
|
SableyeFan
| 1 | 0 | 16 |
2020-01-08 03:39:56
|
selfhelp
|
<rs>Is it wrong for me to help others for selfish interest?<re> <es>Whenever I hear someone ask for help, I offer with genuine interest, but at the same time I only do it to hear praise for me and get a confidence/ego boost to make myself feel better.<ee> <rs>Is it wrong for me to do this?<re>
| 2 | 0 | 2 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null |
How did X make you feel?
|
helping others to get a ego boost
| null | null | null | true | 202 |
eui8q4
|
Emotional detachment?
|
1a
|
rant
| 1 |
It’s so incredibly hard to share my feelings with anyone. When I was in middle school, something really bad happened to me (in which I don’t feel comfortable sharing) and my mom found out, to which she negatively replied “I just want you to be a normal girl,” and then ignored the issue. This absolutely gutted my emotions as a 11~12 year old and almost 7 years later I feel like I can never express my bad thoughts to anyone, especially adults. I never really get to see my dad because of his job as a cop, and the difficult stuff he has to go through for work has always made him emotionally despondent to my mom and I. I don’t understand at all why little things like that have made me so emotionally unavailable, I live in a good middle class home where physically and economically things aren’t bad at all, and it feels like I’m too privileged compared to other people for me to feel this way. I’m not sure if this explains it well enough but I’m not the best at describing :(
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4521fourfivetwoone
| 1 | 0 | 4 |
2020-01-27 03:41:25
|
selfhelp
|
<es>It’s so incredibly hard to share my feelings with anyone.<ee> <es>When I was in middle school, something really bad happened to me (in which I don’t feel comfortable sharing) and my mom found out, to which she negatively replied “I just want you to be a normal girl,” and then ignored the issue.<ee> <efs>This absolutely gutted my emotions as a 11~12 year old and almost 7 years later I feel like I can never express my bad thoughts to anyone, especially adults.<efe> <es>I never really get to see my dad because of his job as a cop, and the difficult stuff he has to go through for work has always made him emotionally despondent to my mom and I.<ee> <efs>I don’t understand at all why little things like that have made me so emotionally unavailable, I live in a good middle class home where physically and economically things aren’t bad at all, and it feels like I’m too privileged compared to other people for me to feel this way.<efe> <es>I’m not sure if this explains it well enough but I’m not the best at describing :(<ee>
| 2 | 2 | 0 | null | null | null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you find it hard sharing your feelings with anyone
| null | true | 220 |
eiaujm
|
I was trying to cheer myself up today but unfortunately was reminded why I want to off myself so badly
|
1a
|
rant
| 1 |
I was trying to cheer myself up today since I couldn’t go out today
Unfortunately a call from my partner reminded me that I never fit in with any social group
Life is to complex and I just want to die, I’m tired of compromising my moral codes while feeling like I’m a bad person for even having them in the first place.
I’m tired of having conflicting feelings towards things that end up overwhelming me and I respond to snapping at people who do said thing (which is what happened with my partner)
I just can’t seem to find a group of friends who click with me
For the past half year now I’ve constantly tried to talk a “friend” out of suicide and I’m failing, i know she doesn’t believe a word I say, tbh I also want to die
|
Lazy-Jury
| 1 | 0 | 1 |
2019-12-31 23:47:46
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depression
|
I was trying to cheer myself up today since I couldn’t go out today <es>Unfortunately a call from my partner reminded me that I never fit in with any social group<ee> <efs>Life is to complex and I just want to die, I’m tired of compromising my moral codes while feeling like I’m a bad person for even having them in the first place.<efe> <efs>I’m tired of having conflicting feelings towards things that end up overwhelming me and I respond to snapping at people who do said thing (which is what happened with my partner)<efe> <rs>I just can’t seem to find a group of friends who click with me<re> <efs>For the past half year now I’ve constantly tried to talk a “friend” out of suicide and I’m failing, i know she doesn’t believe a word I say, tbh I also want to die<efe>
| 1 | 2 | 1 |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
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why you think you don't fit with any social group
| null | null |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
the personalities of the friends you want
|
suicidal
| true | 121 |
f25nuy
|
How do you move on?
|
1b
|
help-seeking
| 2 |
About a month ago, I (M) was sexually assaulted by my best friend (F)
I see her every day and I just cant get it out of my head. Even though it wasnt rape I still have had 3 panic attacks at random times. So how are you supposed to move on when you see them everyday? How are you supposed to go away from them if they are in your main friend group?
She is the baby of the group and was raped herself. If I say anything about how she sexually assaulted me or how she touches me she will get all teary and cry until someone comes and makes me the bad guy. My entire friend group doesn't take what she did to me seriously. Only the friends who were at the party know that she was touching my genital, groping me, trying to force herself on me, smother me in her boobs while she grinded on me, ect. But even they dont know the full extent. And everytime I see her I get defensive. Only one friend knows how touchy she is and wont baby her.
Its stupid. I found out that her and my best friend from before I moved was raped and I started looking at statistics to find the chance of that. It turns out that *cough cough* you are more likely to be raped at a friends house at 6 pm *cough cough* and I just feel stupid I got stronger to defend myself and learned the statistics to not go in these situations. But of course I get sexually assaulted. Mabe that's why my mind is dwelling on this, because I know that I should have been able to get out of that situation.
I ended up telling my friend about it and he didnt understand. He was at the party and saw it happen but thinks I'm over reacting. I told my moms friend about it and she knows what it's like. It bugs me though. She said "It shows you are a good person that you didnt take advantage of the situation. Some guys would take her advance and go with it." Does that make me a good person I dont think so. All I did was freeze and try and think my way out of it and then it was done.
Anyways if you made it through my rambling thanks.
|
ohyespapasmerf
| 1 | 0 | 2 |
2020-02-11 08:43:53
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rapecounseling
|
<es>About a month ago, I (M) was sexually assaulted by my best friend (F) <ee> <es>I see her every day and I just cant get it out of my head.<ee> <es>Even though it wasnt rape I still have had 3 panic attacks at random times.<ee> <rs>So how are you supposed to move on when you see them everyday?<re> <rs>How are you supposed to go away from them if they are in your main friend group? <re> <es>She is the baby of the group and was raped herself.<ee> <es>If I say anything about how she sexually assaulted me or how she touches me she will get all teary and cry until someone comes and makes me the bad guy.<ee> <es>My entire friend group doesn't take what she did to me seriously.<ee> <es>Only the friends who were at the party know that she was touching my genital, groping me, trying to force herself on me, smother me in her boobs while she grinded on me, etc.<ee> <es>But even they dont know the full extent.<ee> <es>And everytime I see her I get defensive.<ee> <es>Only one friend knows how touchy she is and wont baby her.<ee> Its stupid. <es>I found out that her and my best friend from before I moved was raped and I started looking at statistics to find the chance of that.<ee> <es>It turns out that *cough cough* you are more likely to be raped at a friends house at 6 pm *cough cough* and I just feel stupid I got stronger to defend myself and learned the statistics to not go in these situations.<ee> <es>But of course I get sexually assaulted.<ee> <es>Mabe that's why my mind is dwelling on this, because I know that I should have been able to get out of that situation.<ee> <es>I ended up telling my friend about it and he didnt understand.<ee> <es>He was at the party and saw it happen but thinks I'm over reacting.<ee> <es>I told my moms friend about it and she knows what it's like.<ee> <es>It bugs me though.<ee> <es>She said "It shows you are a good person that you didnt take advantage of the situation. Some guys would take her advance and go with it."<ee> <es>Does that make me a good person I dont think so.<ee> <es>All I did was freeze and try and think my way out of it and then it was done. <ee> Anyways if you made it through my rambling thanks.
| 2 | 0 | 2 | null | null |
How did X make you feel?
|
your best friend assaulting you
| null | null | null | true | 202 |
en0c68
|
Put recovery first, and watch all your problems melt away. Prove me wrong.
|
0
|
rant
| 1 |
Whenever something prioritizes over my recovery I lose.
|
mufhn-man
| 1 | 0 | 39 |
2020-01-11 01:01:22
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alcoholicsanonymous
|
Whenever something prioritizes over my recovery I lose.
| 0 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 0 |
eiq5xw
|
I must not stay up too late
|
0
|
rant
| 1 |
Don't know about you guys, but I find I'm most vulnerable at night, like my brain is more unhinged and my thoughts become more volatile and unpredictable. I made the mistake of staying up too late last night. I thought 'well it's new year's eve, so it's okay to stay up later', so I stayed up til 2:30am browsing on my phone, but once I tried to get to sleep, it got very difficult.
I got paranoid about the chair in my room looking like a demon because of how black it was (I guess i've been watching too many ghost videos). The sounds of birds chirping outside weirdly triggered me, reminding me of my anxiety phases as a teenager. I'd completely underestimated how bad my mind can get when i'm really tired.
So lesson learned, won't be staying up really late again
|
GoopyDumpy
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
2020-01-02 00:12:23
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BPD
|
<es>Don't know about you guys, but I find I'm most vulnerable at night, like my brain is more unhinged and my thoughts become more volatile and unpredictable.<ee> <es>I made the mistake of staying up too late last night.<ee> <es>I thought 'well it's new year's eve, so it's okay to stay up later', so I stayed up til 2:30am browsing on my phone, but once I tried to get to sleep, it got very difficult. <ee> <efs>I got paranoid about the chair in my room looking like a demon because of how black it was (I guess i've been watching too many ghost videos).<efe> <efs>The sounds of birds chirping outside weirdly triggered me, reminding me of my anxiety phases as a teenager.<efe> <es>I'd completely underestimated how bad my mind can get when i'm really tired. <ee> So lesson learned, won't be staying up really late again
| 2 | 2 | 0 | null | null | null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you feel afraid and vulnerable at night
| null | true | 220 |
epanvn
|
My friends are treating me differently and I’m scared they hate me..
|
1b
|
help-seeking
| 2 |
For the past 5 months my friends have been acting more cold to me.. I don’t get it, I’m so scared of them leaving me.
I go to a really small school and there’s only 13 kids in my grade and at lunch we eat with 9th grade who only has 15 kids so their isn’t many of us in the room. In beginning of he year my sister joined the school and were in the same grade now, she instantly became close with them and then they all started ignoring me more.
I stopped eating with them, but the people I sit with now aren’t nice either. One girl will cry and scream until I give her my food (I pack). Someone from that friend group sat with us the other day and noticed that all I had was a juice. She told my sister.. my sister and I fought the whole way home. Now they’re not even talking me unless it’s needed..
Today in class my friend (how I’m normally attached too) wouldn’t talk to me and a teacher I trust a lot yelled at me. No one will talk to me... I messaged one of my friends about it and they opened it but didn’t respond... I’ve always been there for them and now they just up and left me..
I don’t know what to do. Do I try to fix it? Do I try to talk to the teacher? Do I just drop out and pretend it never happened?
|
ewwhoisluke
| 1 | 0 | 1 |
2020-01-15 23:43:23
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mentalillness
|
<efs><es>For the past 5 months my friends have been acting more cold to me.. I don’t get it, I’m so scared of them leaving me. <ee><efe> I go to a really small school and there’s only 13 kids in my grade and at lunch we eat with 9th grade who only has 15 kids so their isn’t many of us in the room. In beginning of he year my sister joined the school and were in the same grade now, she instantly became close with them and then they all started ignoring me more. <es>I stopped eating with them, but the people I sit with now aren’t nice either.<ee> <es>One girl will cry and scream until I give her my food (I pack).<ee> Someone from that friend group sat with us the other day and noticed that all I had was a juice. She told my sister.. my sister and I fought the whole way home. <es>Now they’re not even talking me unless it’s needed..<ee> <es>Today in class my friend (how I’m normally attached too) wouldn’t talk to me and a teacher I trust a lot yelled at me.<ee> <es>No one will talk to me... I messaged one of my friends about it and they opened it but didn’t respond... I’ve always been there for them and now they just up and left me.. <ee> I don’t know what to do. <rs>Do I try to fix it?<re> <rs>Do I try to talk to the teacher?<re> <rs>Do I just drop out and pretend it never happened?<re>
| 2 | 0 | 2 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null |
How did X make you feel?
|
the behaviour of your friends
| null | null | null | true | 202 |
epi4xg
|
Does affection deprivation as child lead to over-excitedness as an adult?
|
1b
|
help-seeking
| 2 |
I have a problem, I'm a 22 year old man and I get an uncontrollable erection whenever a girl touches my arms, holds my hand, lays/sits on me or even stares deeply into my eyes in conversion.
Initially, I thought it just happened because of puberty but it has not remotely slowed down and it is starting to affect my life because I still havent had my first kiss. I dont have a problem attracting women, usually they will approach me at social events (bars,parties,clubs,etc). Unfortunately after 10 minutes of talking, if they're interested in me, my "issue" will kick in which makes me immediately self conscious and I start slouching to cover it up or outright trying to find abrupt ways to get away from the woman (usually really weird or rude) because that's the only way to stop it and also because I'm embarrassed/feel like a creep. It's frustrating especially when I'm talking to women I really like. It's not even sexual most of the time it feels like whenever my head gets the signal that a woman is comfortable with me it mixes up the signals and calls for a full erection. I tried not masturbating for a few months and it was effective but it's not sustainable as once I go back the problem returns. I was wondering if my past of rarely being touched/shown affection as a child had a part to play in this.
When I was a kid I wasn't really hugged/fully embraced by either of my parents. They weren't abusive or anything, just strict eastern parents who didn't display physical/verbal affection but showed their love with actions (buying me things, cooking my fav foods). As they grew older and had my younger siblings (i'm the oldest) they learned to express physical/verbal affection better. They would regularly hug my siblings and the few times they tried with me it felt awkward due to our relationship so they quickly stopped. \[I should mention here that all my younger siblings have all had their first kisses and been in relationships\]
I was also a really unattractive kid (skinny, poor hygiene and no fashion sense) with no social skills and no interesting qualities from primary school through to high school. Due to this, no girl had a crush on me through all of school and as a result I never had any romantic interactions with the opposite sex (no first kiss, didn't even have anyone hold my hand until college). I would get the occasional hug from female friends but those slowed down/stopped altogether when they realized how uncomfortable my hugs were (no joke I didn't know how to embrace people properly \[still dont really\]).
In the last four years, I have been accepted into to the most prestigious program at my school, got into exceptional shape through a rigorous gym schedule, built a sub-par fashion sense and developed great social skills through many jobs/extracurriculars. This was when the women started to gravitate towards me but, as I said earlier, due to my "issue" I usually have to cut interactions short before anything can happen.
Am I just a pervert or this there something at play psychologically?
Tl;dr: Any semi-intimate touch from a women or even deep eye contact gives me an uncontrollable erection which always freaks me out so I start to act weird and look for ways to cut conversions short (usually abrupt rude way). Because of this Im 22 and have never kissed a woman despite being able to attract women to me. I'm wondering if im just a creep or if this is a result of me being mostly deprived of affection and interest for the first 18 years of my life.
|
lolheheexdee2034
| 1 | 0 | 12 |
2020-01-16 11:31:45
|
selfhelp
|
<es>I have a problem, I'm a 22 year old man and I get an uncontrollable erection whenever a girl touches my arms, holds my hand, lays/sits on me or even stares deeply into my eyes in conversion.<ee> <es>Initially, I thought it just happened because of puberty but it has not remotely slowed down and it is starting to affect my life because I still havent had my first kiss.<ee> <es>I dont have a problem attracting women, usually they will approach me at social events (bars,parties,clubs,etc). Unfortunately after 10 minutes of talking, if they're interested in me, my "issue" will kick in which makes me immediately self conscious and I start slouching to cover it up or outright trying to find abrupt ways to get away from the woman (usually really weird or rude) because that's the only way to stop it.<ee> <efs>also because I'm embarrassed/feel like a creep.<efe> <efs>It's frustrating especially when I'm talking to women I really like.<efe> <es>It's not even sexual most of the time it feels like whenever my head gets the signal that a woman is comfortable with me it mixes up the signals and calls for a full erection.<ee> <es>I tried not masturbating for a few months and it was effective but it's not sustainable as once I go back the problem returns.<ee> <es>I was wondering if my past of rarely being touched/shown affection as a child had a part to play in this.<ee> <es>When I was a kid I wasn't really hugged/fully embraced by either of my parents.<ee> <es>They weren't abusive or anything, just strict eastern parents who didn't display physical/verbal affection but showed their love with actions (buying me things, cooking my fav foods).<ee> <es>As they grew older and had my younger siblings (i'm the oldest) they learned to express physical/verbal affection better.<ee> <es>They would regularly hug my siblings and the few times they tried with me it felt awkward due to our relationship so they quickly stopped.<ee> <es>\[I should mention here that all my younger siblings have all had their first kisses and been in relationships\]<ee> <es>I was also a really unattractive kid (skinny, poor hygiene and no fashion sense) with no social skills and no interesting qualities from primary school through to high school.<ee> <es>Due to this, no girl had a crush on me through all of school and as a result I never had any romantic interactions with the opposite sex (no first kiss, didn't even have anyone hold my hand until college).<ee> <es>I would get the occasional hug from female friends but those slowed down/stopped altogether when they realized how uncomfortable my hugs were (no joke I didn't know how to embrace people properly \[still dont really\]).<ee> <es>In the last four years, I have been accepted into to the most prestigious program at my school, got into exceptional shape through a rigorous gym schedule, built a sub-par fashion sense and developed great social skills through many jobs/extracurriculars.<ee> <es>This was when the women started to gravitate towards me but, as I said earlier, due to my "issue" I usually have to cut interactions short before anything can happen.<ee> <rs>Am I just a pervert or this there something at play psychologically?<re> <es>Tl;dr: Any semi-intimate touch from a women or even deep eye contact gives me an uncontrollable erection which always freaks me out so I start to act weird and look for ways to cut conversions short (usually abrupt rude way).<ee> <es>Because of this Im 22 and have never kissed a woman despite being able to attract women to me.<ee> <rs>I'm wondering if im just a creep or if this is a result of me being mostly deprived of affection and interest for the first 18 years of my life.<re>
| 2 | 2 | 2 | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 222 |
eiabo7
|
Does anyone else have chest pain, not just during attacks, but generally in times of stress?
|
0
|
survey
| 1 |
My chest feels tight and pains when I'm anxious sometimes. Does it happen to you guys? How do you deal with it?
|
kausarahmad
| 1 | 0 | 16 |
2019-12-31 23:05:45
|
Anxiety
|
<efs>My chest feels tight and pains when I'm anxious sometimes.<efe> <rs>Does it happen to you guys?<re> <rs>How do you deal with it?<re>
| 1 | 2 | 2 |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
what makes you anxious
| null | null | null | null | null | true | 122 |
eomyy5
|
Videogames
|
1a
|
rant
| 1 |
God why the fuck did you create a human being like me who can't stop getting addicted to anything be like?? What am i supposed to do?Just jerk around while you are watching and laughing?Cut it already and give me some peace i haven't enjoyed for 8 years
|
EdenJ13
| 1 | 0 | 6 |
2020-01-14 15:47:53
|
addiction
|
<es>God why the fuck did you create a human being like me who can't stop getting addicted to anything be like??<ee> <es>What am i supposed to do?<ee>Just jerk around while you are watching and laughing?<es>Cut it already and give me some peace i haven't enjoyed for 8 years<ee>
| 2 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null |
How did X make you feel?
|
the addictions
|
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you are unable to control you addictions
| null | true | 200 |
ei8dmf
|
I feel guilty/embarrassed about trying to quit my job in order to focus on me while going through severe depression.
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 2 |
This disease is a real one. I took a really good job at a well established company in a new city/state a few months ago after working from home and side-jobs for over a year.
I burned out SO quickly at this job. It pays well, it's a huge office, but I don't do well with the 9-5 grind. The commute drains and stresses me out, people are confrontational on the transit, and my job feels monotonous.
I know I'm making a great decision for myself, knowing I am making some sacrifices. The only thing I feel guilty about is leaving my "work" friends behind. I've only been communicating with my boss via text about things after taking off from work for the past week.
I received a text yesterday from a work friend, and another one today from someone else with them voicing their concerns for me since I didn't text them. She was even ready to send someone for a wellness check, since she knows I'm out here all by myself with no friends or family.
I consider many people I worked with to be some of my closest friends since moving here. How do I maintain friendships without burning bridges for quitting? I have so much support & love from and for these people. I just can't work those hours with my depression. :(
|
anonymouschic
| 1 | 0 | 2 |
2019-12-31 20:29:56
|
socialanxiety
|
<es>This disease is a real one.<ee> <es>I took a really good job at a well established company in a new city/state a few months ago after working from home and side-jobs for over a year.<ee> <es>I burned out SO quickly at this job.<ee> <es>It pays well, it's a huge office, but I don't do well with the 9-5 grind.<ee> <efs>The commute drains and stresses me out, people are confrontational on the transit, and my job feels monotonous.<efe> I know I'm making a great decision for myself, knowing I am making some sacrifices. <efs>The only thing I feel guilty about is leaving my "work" friends behind.<efe> <es>I've only been communicating with my boss via text about things after taking off from work for the past week.<ee> <es>I received a text yesterday from a work friend, and another one today from someone else with them voicing their concerns for me since I didn't text them.<ee> <es>She was even ready to send someone for a wellness check, since she knows I'm out here all by myself with no friends or family.<ee> I consider many people I worked with to be some of my closest friends since moving here. <rs>How do I maintain friendships without burning bridges for quitting?<re> I have so much support & love from and for these people. <es>I just can't work those hours with my depression. :(<ee>
| 2 | 2 | 2 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 222 |
erx4rb
|
Help
|
1b
|
help-seeking
| 3 |
I'm not even sure where to start, and this is going to be so long but i need to let this out and get advice from people who dont know me personally, and have maybe been through something similar. But it all started off when I got too drunk to drive and backed into a dumpster one night and then the girls I was with called my boyfriend (who I was broken up with at the time) to come and take me home. He came and drove me home and when we got to my place we started fighting. I dont even remember what it was about I was so wasted, but he kept grabbing me by my biceps and throwing me down on the bed and something in me snapped after him doing that so many times and I hit him like in his chest, after that he slapped the fuck out of me and that was the very first time ANYONE has ever laid their hands on me like that. He verbally abused me the whole time saying how I'm just a worthless drunk, i keep crashing my car, hes ginna manifest sleeping with my friends, etc... And I quit fighting and went to lie down, we ended up having sex and he stayed the night. Fast forward to a couple weeks later and we were broken up again, because his way of solving our problems was always to break up, I had went out to the bar with my friends and saw him out at the bar with one of my old friends from high school... at the end of the night when I was going home, some guy messaged me and i told him to come over. We ended up hooking up. It was just a one night hook up, me and this guy weren't even talking or hanging out prior to this night.. but eventually me and the boyfriend got back together and he found out about that. And I found out he slept with my old friend, and didnt use a condom. She claimed he got her pregnant but no one really believes her, it could've been possible though. She did get an "abortion" though so there was never any proof she was pregnant by him. But even though we both hooked up he didnt see his fault and only saw mine, how big of a whore I was, and that I would fuck anyone for anything... etc... we ended up "making up" after he hit me a few times and called me every name under the sun. But even though he says he forgave me he still to this day holds that over my head and calls me out of my name because of it. I can't even explain everything that's happened because it's all so stupid it doesnt even make sense. But over the past 7 months I have been berated, belittled, hit in the face/head, got my mouth busted, been hit in the stomach after I told him I could be pregnant.. and he says he wants me to have his baby... hes pulled my hair, has literally choked me out unconcious. I think I've been abused every single possible way you could imagine. Hes made me give him a bj after we've fought to make up... basically I dont know where I'm going with all this. Everyone always tells me to just leave but I literally can't just leave. I have personal belongings at his house and he doesnt work so there isn't a time where he isn't there. And anytime I do try to leave he always tries to break my stuff and throw my clothes around and blocks the door. He'll hide my keys and phone and lock me inside the bedroom so I cant go anywhere or call for help. And I know after all this, I sound so crazy, but I do love him and care for him and I'm stuck in this situation thinking things will change and be better. Because it's not always this bad. Sometimes we have amazing days and have the best time together, but I always feel like I'm walking on eggshells at those times because I dont wanna fuck up the good time. I cant talk to my parents about this because I already told them too much and I don't want them to hate him.... and I don't have any friends anymore. Even if I did I wouldn't say these things to them, because I cant trust them. I just need a listening ear, someone who doesnt know me personally. Someone who isn't just gonna say "leave him"... because I know I need to leave. But I literally cant... I need someone who's been through this type of thing before to give me some strength. I'm so scared one of these days hes going to hit me in my head or knock me out cold and I'm never gonna wake up. I think about how much my nephew means to me and that he may never get to see his auntie again. Or that my parents know to an extent what's going on, and that they couldn't do nothing to help me. I'm so scared they're gonna have to bury their only baby girl. Hes always threatening that hes going to kill me, and the only way out of our relationship is for me to die. Hes said he put a GPS somewhere on my car and he knows where I am and that I cant ever hide. He knows where my parents live and if I do leave him I'm scared to death hes going to come there and try to shoot up our house or hurt my family. The hurt and pain I'm going through is nothing I've ever been through before and I cant fucking get away from it. I'm such a strong and beautiful person and I know my worth... so it just fucks me up even more that I'm going through all this shit. You guys, im begging for any advice that isn't just to leave him. I need to hear some real shit from people who have been through this. I need help.
|
hotpockeys
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
2020-01-21 16:37:50
|
domesticviolence
|
<rs>I'm not even sure where to start, and this is going to be so long but i need to let this out and get advice from people who dont know me personally, and have maybe been through something similar.<re> <es>But it all started off when I got too drunk to drive and backed into a dumpster one night and then the girls I was with called my boyfriend (who I was broken up with at the time) to come and take me home.<ee> <es>He came and drove me home and when we got to my place we started fighting.<ee> <es>I dont even remember what it was about I was so wasted, but he kept grabbing me by my biceps and throwing me down on the bed and something in me snapped after him doing that so many times and I hit him like in his chest, after that he slapped the fuck out of me and that was the very first time ANYONE has ever laid their hands on me like that.<ee> <es>He verbally abused me the whole time saying how I'm just a worthless drunk, i keep crashing my car, hes ginna manifest sleeping with my friends, etc... And I quit fighting and went to lie down, we ended up having sex and he stayed the night.<ee> <es>Fast forward to a couple weeks later and we were broken up again, because his way of solving our problems was always to break up, I had went out to the bar with my friends and saw him out at the bar with one of my old friends from high school... at the end of the night when I was going home, some guy messaged me and i told him to come over.<ee> <es>We ended up hooking up.<ee> <es>It was just a one night hook up, me and this guy weren't even talking or hanging out prior to this night.. but eventually me and the boyfriend got back together and he found out about that.<ee> <es>And I found out he slept with my old friend, and didnt use a condom.<ee> <es>She claimed he got her pregnant but no one really believes her, it could've been possible though.<ee> <es>She did get an "abortion" though so there was never any proof she was pregnant by him.<ee> <es>But even though we both hooked up he didnt see his fault and only saw mine, how big of a whore I was, and that I would fuck anyone for anything... etc... we ended up "making up" after he hit me a few times and called me every name under the sun.<ee> <es>But even though he says he forgave me he still to this day holds that over my head and calls me out of my name because of it.<ee> <es>I can't even explain everything that's happened because it's all so stupid it doesnt even make sense.<ee> <es>But over the past 7 months I have been berated, belittled, hit in the face/head, got my mouth busted, been hit in the stomach after I told him I could be pregnant.. and he says he wants me to have his baby... hes pulled my hair, has literally choked me out unconscious.<ee> <es>I think I've been abused every single possible way you could imagine.<ee> <es>Hes made me give him a bj after we've fought to make up... basically I dont know where I'm going with all this.<ee> <es>Everyone always tells me to just leave but I literally can't just leave.<ee> <es>I have personal belongings at his house and he doesnt work so there isn't a time where he isn't there.<ee> <es>And anytime I do try to leave he always tries to break my stuff and throw my clothes around and blocks the door.<ee> <es>He'll hide my keys and phone and lock me inside the bedroom so I cant go anywhere or call for help.<ee> <es>And I know after all this, I sound so crazy, but I do love him and care for him and I'm stuck in this situation thinking things will change and be better.<ee> <es>Because it's not always this bad.<ee> <efs>Sometimes we have amazing days and have the best time together, but I always feel like I'm walking on eggshells at those times because I dont wanna fuck up the good time.<efe> <es>I cant talk to my parents about this because I already told them too much and I don't want them to hate him.... and I don't have any friends anymore.<ee> <es>Even if I did I wouldn't say these things to them, because I cant trust them.<ee> <rs>I just need a listening ear, someone who doesnt know me personally.<re> <rs>Someone who isn't just gonna say "leave him"... because I know I need to leave.<re> <es>But I literally cant...<ee> <rs>I need someone who's been through this type of thing before to give me some strength.<re> <efs>I'm so scared one of these days hes going to hit me in my head or knock me out cold and I'm never gonna wake up.<efe> <efs>I think about how much my nephew means to me and that he may never get to see his auntie again.<efe> <es>Or that my parents know to an extent what's going on, and that they couldn't do nothing to help me.<ee> <efs>I'm so scared they're gonna have to bury their only baby girl.<efe> <es>Hes always threatening that hes going to kill me, and the only way out of our relationship is for me to die.<ee> <es>Hes said he put a GPS somewhere on my car and he knows where I am and that I cant ever hide.<ee> <efs>He knows where my parents live and if I do leave him I'm scared to death hes going to come there and try to shoot up our house or hurt my family.<efe> <efs>The hurt and pain I'm going through is nothing I've ever been through before and I cant fucking get away from it.<efe> <efs>I'm such a strong and beautiful person and I know my worth... so it just fucks me up even more that I'm going through all this shit.<efe> <rs>You guys, im begging for any advice that isn't just to leave him.<re> <rs>I need to hear some real shit from people who have been through this.<re> <rs>I need help.<re>
| 2 | 2 | 2 | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 222 |
ez6loc
|
I need help
|
1a
|
rant
| 1 |
I have a lot of pent up anger from the last few years because of circumstances in life and it’s constantly building and building. I get super angry over everything on the inside, sometimes just if someone talks to me, but I have a good head on my shoulders and control it perfectly and don’t lash out. I feel as if letting it out is the only thing that would make me feel better but I don’t know how. It takes a lot to get me to that level of frustration and I can’t induce myself into it, I’ve tried. What do?
|
legitdyn
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
2020-02-05 08:45:52
|
Anger
|
<es>I have a lot of pent up anger from the last few years because of circumstances in life and it’s constantly building and building.<ee> <es>I get super angry over everything on the inside, sometimes just if someone talks to me, but I have a good head on my shoulders and control it perfectly and don’t lash out.<ee> <efs>I feel as if letting it out is the only thing that would make me feel better but I don’t know how.<efe> <efs>It takes a lot to get me to that level of frustration and I can’t induce myself into it, I’ve tried.<efe> <rs>What do?<re>
| 2 | 2 | 1 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
what would help you release the pent up anger
| null | true | 221 |
eoa7m7
|
An Intense, Vivid Relapse Dream
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0
|
rant
| 1 |
I have relapse dreams on occasion but nothing like this in two and a half years of sobriety. It wasn't just that I dreamed of having a drink — that's happened before. It's that I also dreamed the whole fallout. I planned (in my dream) what to say to my sponsor, thought about who else in my AA community I would ask to sponsor me, and steeled myself to go to my meetings and announce that I had one day back.
It was very nice to wake up and realize it was just a dream! And while it was unpleasant to experience, drunk dreams are a nice little reminder of how present the disease is within me.
|
nycscribe
| 1 | 0 | 8 |
2020-01-13 20:57:19
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alcoholicsanonymous
|
<es>I have relapse dreams on occasion but nothing like this in two and a half years of sobriety.<ee> <es>It wasn't just that I dreamed of having a drink — that's happened before.<ee> <es>It's that I also dreamed the whole fallout.<ee> <es>I planned (in my dream) what to say to my sponsor, thought about who else in my AA community I would ask to sponsor me, and steeled myself to go to my meetings and announce that I had one day back. <ee> <es>It was very nice to wake up and realize it was just a dream!<ee> <efs>And while it was unpleasant to experience, drunk dreams are a nice little reminder of how present the disease is within me.<efe>
| 2 | 1 | 0 | null | null |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
how the relapse dreams make you feel
|
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you are having relapse dreams
| null | true | 210 |
eigzov
|
Driving anxiety
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 1 |
I was in a car accident roughly 5-6 months ago. I had only just gotten my license about a month before that, even though I was already 21. It shook my confidence in driving to the core. I've gotten better at driving, but I usually only go 5 minutes up the road because that's where I used to work. However, if I have to go somewhere I haven't ever driven before, I have panic attacks. Like full blown panic attacks at just the thought of driving. But I can't just avoid driving. My new job is now 10-15 minutes away and it makes me so nervous to driver there everyday. Does anyone have any advice?
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SunshineMassacre
| 1 | 0 | 2 |
2020-01-01 10:26:31
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Anxiety
|
<es>I was in a car accident roughly 5-6 months ago.<ee> <es>I had only just gotten my license about a month before that, even though I was already 21.<ee> <efs>It shook my confidence in driving to the core.<efe> I've gotten better at driving, but I usually only go 5 minutes up the road because that's where I used to work. <efs>However, if I have to go somewhere I haven't ever driven before, I have panic attacks.<efe> <efs>Like full blown panic attacks at just the thought of driving.<efe> <rs>But I can't just avoid driving.<re> <efs>My new job is now 10-15 minutes away and it makes me so nervous to driver there everyday.<efe> <rs>Does anyone have any advice?<re>
| 2 | 2 | 1 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
what would help you control you panic attack
| null | true | 221 |
ekszfp
|
restricted/blunt affect
|
1a
|
rant
| 1 |
I forgot all about it until a couple of weeks ago when the person I've been trying to get into a relationship with told me the reason we kept arguing was because I talk in a monotone a lot and do not express many emotions on my face. I had to explain to them that i have restricted affect and it just means I don't express my emotions very well ... Things don't go very smoothly at all. It's frustrating when they think I'm not enjoying myself and then they distance themselves from me. I feel like my emotions are on my face, especially if I'm trying to be expressive, but I guess it's really not all that distinguishable. I'm glad they told me and are starting to tell me when they feel like I;m not engaged, that way I can try to at least be expressive in another way.. This shit is so depressing lol/ fuck.
I wish I understood when, why and how I am expressionless so I could fix it. It's legit ruining my life all around.
|
pyrofish9
| 1 | 0 | 1 |
2020-01-06 11:36:06
|
ptsd
|
<es>I forgot all about it until a couple of weeks ago when the person I've been trying to get into a relationship with told me the reason we kept arguing was because I talk in a monotone a lot and do not express many emotions on my face.<ee> <es>I had to explain to them that i have restricted affect and it just means I don't express my emotions very well ... Things don't go very smoothly at all.<ee> <efs>It's frustrating when they think I'm not enjoying myself and then they distance themselves from me.<efe> <efs>I feel like my emotions are on my face, especially if I'm trying to be expressive, but I guess it's really not all that distinguishable.<efe> <es>I'm glad they told me and are starting to tell me when they feel like I;m not engaged, that way I can try to at least be expressive in another way..<ee> <efs>This shit is so depressing lol/ fuck.<efe> <rs>I wish I understood when, why and how I am expressionless so I could fix it.<re> <es>It's legit ruining my life all around.<ee>
| 2 | 2 | 2 | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 222 |
eijgfl
|
cutting), and i dont know what to do.
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 2 |
A few years ago i made a promise to myself to not to cut myself whatever happens because i had a fear i might go wrong and accidentally puncture my nerves or the situation might get even worse.
Whenever i make a mistake or fuck up my mother would point out of how i inhinerited my father's trait of being a smart; but weird nerd or how im "immature" (even though im just 13 and im always compared by my older favorite siblings who's 3 years apart.) Those negative adjectives really hit me bad and im fed getting called immature everytime, hearing that word everywhere makes me remember it.
They think im introverted and i need to socialize with my shitty relatives even though they dont know that i have a good social reputation in school, im good friends with the "cool kids" and seen as the funny class clown.
Now im in a pretty bad state and i kind of want to do self harming, i read an article saying it's a coping mechanism to feel something whenever neglected or something.
But if i do it, i think i would lose trust to myself to the promise i make a few years back.
I really hope there's alternatives to self harm. Please help me.
|
ZanSquintox
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
2020-01-01 15:27:59
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selfharm
|
<es>A few years ago i made a promise to myself to not to cut myself whatever happens because i had a fear i might go wrong and accidentally puncture my nerves or the situation might get even worse.<ee> <es>Whenever i make a mistake or fuck up my mother would point out of how i inhinerited my father's trait of being a smart; but weird nerd or how im "immature" (even though im just 13 and im always compared by my older favorite siblings who's 3 years apart.)<ee> <es>Those negative adjectives really hit me bad and im fed getting called immature everytime, hearing that word everywhere makes me remember it.<ee> <es>They think im introverted and i need to socialize with my shitty relatives even though they dont know that i have a good social reputation in school, im good friends with the "cool kids" and seen as the funny class clown.<ee> <es>Now im in a pretty bad state and i kind of want to do self harming, i read an article saying it's a coping mechanism to feel something whenever neglected or something.<ee> <es>But if i do it, i think i would lose trust to myself to the promise i make a few years back.<ee> <rs>I really hope there's alternatives to self harm.<re> <rs>Please help me.<re>
| 2 | 0 | 2 | null | null |
How did X make you feel?
|
your mother's taunts
| null | null | null | true | 202 |
ejlxz0
|
Risky behaviors, anyone?
|
1b
|
help-seeking
| 1 |
Has anyone engaged themselves in risky behaviors they wouldn't normally do themselves as a result of their depression?
I remember watching something on tv a while back where this woman apparently suffered some sort of depression and was married, but found herself constantly cheating on her husband. Now I cannot recollect whether it was a result of her depression or result of the medication she was on...
Any insights?
|
Hav0c_wreack3r
| 2 | 0 | 4 |
2020-01-03 21:19:11
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mentalillness
|
Has anyone engaged themselves in risky behaviors they wouldn't normally do themselves as a result of their depression? I remember watching something on tv a while back where this woman apparently suffered some sort of depression and was married, but found herself constantly cheating on her husband. Now I cannot recollect whether it was a result of her depression or result of the medication she was on... Any insights?
| 0 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
randome question
| true | 0 |
ejgkbt
|
New to the community
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 1 |
Hey everyone, I've been reading through the posts and decided I wanted to join considering everyone seems to be very understanding of each other. I cut my wrists for the first time yesterday (nothing serious, there was barely any blood), but it felt kind of, comforting, as weird as it may sound. I'll probably attempt it again.
I'm in a real weird period of my life right now where I can't properly express/process the emotions I'm experiencing right now. I just get anxious at random intervals and I don't feel like doing anything at all. I'm not even sure if I'm actually depressed or anything, I just really don't know what to do.
In any case, thanks for having me
|
Durandal_I
| 4 | 0 | 4 |
2020-01-03 15:05:09
|
selfharm
|
<es>Hey everyone, I've been reading through the posts and decided I wanted to join considering everyone seems to be very understanding of each other.<ee> <es>I cut my wrists for the first time yesterday (nothing serious, there was barely any blood).<ee> <efs>but it felt kind of, comforting, as weird as it may sound.<efe> <es>I'll probably attempt it again.<ee> <es>I'm in a real weird period of my life right now where I can't properly express/process the emotions I'm experiencing right now.<ee> <efs>I just get anxious at random intervals and I don't feel like doing anything at all.<efe> <es>I'm not even sure if I'm actually depressed or anything, I just really don't know what to do.<ee> In any case, thanks for having me
| 2 | 2 | 0 | null | null | null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you are unable to process your emotions
| null | true | 220 |
engfaz
|
Memories coming back
|
1b
|
help-seeking
| 1 |
I was raped in college after a night out and I have always been able to process it fairly well.
Lately the memories are coming back and I’m getting a different look at things since it’s been a handful of years. I don’t even know where to start. Very few people know I was raped, most just know I was assaulted but not the extent.
On top of that, with new knowledge and perspective, I’m having trouble processing a relationship prior to the rape about an abusive boyfriend I have. I know therapy does wonders, I just don’t have the money for it atm.
Where does someone even start with this??
|
tonguetiedsleepyeyed
| 1 | 0 | 3 |
2020-01-12 01:00:08
|
rapecounseling
|
<es>I was raped in college after a night out and I have always been able to process it fairly well. <ee> <es>Lately the memories are coming back and I’m getting a different look at things since it’s been a handful of years.<ee> <es>I don’t even know where to start.<ee> <es>Very few people know I was raped, most just know I was assaulted but not the extent. <ee> <es>On top of that, with new knowledge and perspective, I’m having trouble processing a relationship prior to the rape about an abusive boyfriend I have.<ee> <es>I know therapy does wonders, I just don’t have the money for it atm. <ee> <rs>Where does someone even start with this??<re>
| 2 | 0 | 1 | null | null |
How did X make you feel?
|
the flashbacks
|
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
what would help you get therapy
| null | true | 201 |
eivx7x
|
She gave up before I could even consider it
|
1b
|
rant
| 2 |
For a little context I'm a 16 year old high schooler.
This entire post is just gonna sound like teen angst but whatever
So sometime last year some girl transfered to our school and I talked to her a little bit. We were talking in insta dms and she mentioned one of her friends from her old school and told me I should talk to her. Let's call her Katy. I thought Katy was one of the cutest girls ever and not hot I mean cute. I started talking to her and learned that she 1. had a boyfriend and 2. she had a relatively troubled past. I talked to her for like a month every once in awhile but obviously it never got anywhere further than me getting her snap. Sometime at the beginning of this summer I said fuck it let's snap her. We started talking and I learned she broke up with her past boyfriend a long while ago. We started talking all day every day. We'd both be up till like 4 am just texting. Sometime near the end of the summer I confessed to her that I was like mad in love with her. We had a long discussion about our feelings for each other and we decided to not try our hand at a legitimate relationship but like we both had feelings for the other so we had some weird thing where we acted like we were but we weren't? It was wack. Everything for the rest of the summer went back to normal but soon we had to go back to school. We both went to different schools so it made it pretty hard to talk. We still did but nowhere near as much. It kinda hurt a little just not talking to her. Around December we started barely talking at all we'd each send the other like 3-5 texts a day. So after a lot of fighting and dealing with family members on Christmas I went to sleep early. I woke up the next day to a snap saying that a relationship would never work out between us and that we both just need to stop trying for it. It broke me like I kinda knew it was coming just because of how little we were talking. It just tore through me and even now I haven't responded cause I don't know what to say. She never sent anything more. I just don't know how to feel. Like I wasn't sad when I was sent that I just kinda felt lost and broken but not sad. It felt like I had been doing everything I could to keep an old car alive from duct tape to this and that and it all just fell apart and I was left with nothing. Everything was just empty and I don't know what to do now. This is probably just teen angst or whatever but I she was the first person I ever felt like I really cared about. The only thing I never second guessed myself on in my life was that me and her were meant to be together but I guess not. Someone just tell me what to do. Please
|
Iforgotmydad
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
2020-01-02 09:02:47
|
sad
|
<es>For a little context I'm a 16 year old high schooler. <ee> This entire post is just gonna sound like teen angst but whatever <es>So sometime last year some girl transfered to our school and I talked to her a little bit.<ee> <es>We were talking in insta dms and she mentioned one of her friends from her old school and told me I should talk to her.<ee> <es>Let's call her Katy.<ee> <es>I thought Katy was one of the cutest girls ever and not hot I mean cute.<ee> <es>I started talking to her and learned that she 1. had a boyfriend and 2. she had a relatively troubled past.<ee> <es>I talked to her for like a month every once in awhile but obviously it never got anywhere further than me getting her snap.<ee> <es>Sometime at the beginning of this summer I said fuck it let's snap her.<ee> <es>We started talking and I learned she broke up with her past boyfriend a long while ago.<ee> <es>We started talking all day every day.<ee> <es>We'd both be up till like 4 am just texting.<ee> <es>Sometime near the end of the summer I confessed to her that I was like mad in love with her.<ee> <es>We had a long discussion about our feelings for each other and we decided to not try our hand at a legitimate relationship but like we both had feelings for the other so we had some weird thing where we acted like we were but we weren't?<ee> <es>It was wack.<ee> <es>Everything for the rest of the summer went back to normal but soon we had to go back to school.<ee> <es>We both went to different schools so it made it pretty hard to talk.<ee> <es>We still did but nowhere near as much.<ee> <efs>It kinda hurt a little just not talking to her.<efe> <es>Around December we started barely talking at all we'd each send the other like 3-5 texts a day.<ee> <es>So after a lot of fighting and dealing with family members on Christmas I went to sleep early.<ee> <es>I woke up the next day to a snap saying that a relationship would never work out between us and that we both just need to stop trying for it.<ee> <efs>It broke me like I kinda knew it was coming just because of how little we were talking.<efe> <efs>It just tore through me and even now I haven't responded cause I don't know what to say.<efe> <es>She never sent anything more.<ee> <es>I just don't know how to feel.<ee> <efs>Like I wasn't sad when I was sent that I just kinda felt lost and broken but not sad.<efe> <efs>It felt like I had been doing everything I could to keep an old car alive from duct tape to this and that and it all just fell apart and I was left with nothing.<efe> <efs>Everything was just empty and I don't know what to do now.<efe> <es>This is probably just teen angst or whatever but I she was the first person I ever felt like I really cared about.<ee> <es>The only thing I never second guessed myself on in my life was that me and her were meant to be together but I guess not.<ee> <rs>Someone just tell me what to do.<re> Please
| 2 | 2 | 1 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
what would help you deal with all the hurt
| null | true | 221 |
ep4pna
|
Day 5, no pills.
|
0
|
rant
| 2 |
I like to dose compulsively.
I told myself it wasn't a problem for so long because I didn't take an obscene dose (10mg oxycodone, 15mg hydrocodone, and 20-40mg Adderall, 60-90mg Vyvanse) & this has been going on for years with no real change in dosage.
My problem has always been not wanting to lose it, or if I was feeling good...to feel even better. So I dosed every 1-2 hours. Doesn't matter that I know the Vyvanse just kicked in, I would take another dose. Doesn't matter that my heart is racing, another dose. Doesn't matter if I just ate and I know the pain meds will be a waste, dose. If I took something 30 minutes ago, but now I'm about to walk into the store I have to take another dose because what it it's not enough and I "really need to concentrate" on getting the right groceries.
Anyway it's been 5 days now off Hydrocodone, Oxycodone, Adderall and Vyvanse. I took ibuprofen and 16mg lopermide the first day, 14mg the second day, 12mg the third day and then none. The physical withdrawals are minor now. I'm trying to have small wins like changing my sheets or shaving but it's hard. I can refill my Adderall Monday but idk.
|
ceb255
| 1 | 0 | 1 |
2020-01-15 16:47:47
|
OpiatesRecovery
|
<es>I like to dose compulsively. <ee> <es>I told myself it wasn't a problem for so long because I didn't take an obscene dose (10mg oxycodone, 15mg hydrocodone, and 20-40mg Adderall, 60-90mg Vyvanse) & this has been going on for years with no real change in dosage. <ee> <es>My problem has always been not wanting to lose it, or if I was feeling good...to feel even better.<ee> <es>So I dosed every 1-2 hours.<ee> <es>Doesn't matter that I know the Vyvanse just kicked in, I would take another dose.<ee> <es>Doesn't matter that my heart is racing, another dose.<ee> <es>Doesn't matter if I just ate and I know the pain meds will be a waste, dose.<ee> <es>If I took something 30 minutes ago, but now I'm about to walk into the store I have to take another dose because what it it's not enough and I "really need to concentrate" on getting the right groceries. <ee> <es>Anyway it's been 5 days now off Hydrocodone, Oxycodone, Adderall and Vyvanse.<ee> <es>I took ibuprofen and 16mg lopermide the first day, 14mg the second day, 12mg the third day and then none.<ee> <es>The physical withdrawals are minor now.<ee> <es>I'm trying to have small wins like changing my sheets or shaving but it's hard.<ee> <es>I can refill my Adderall Monday but idk.<ee>
| 2 | 0 | 0 | null | null |
How did X make you feel?
|
the withdrawls
|
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you like to dose compulsively
| null | true | 200 |
fmxb1o
|
The virus lockdown ruined my suicide plan
|
0
|
rant
| 1 |
I was planning on buying some pills and alcohol, and I still could, but we’re not supposed to leave our houses unless we have to.
|
throwaway6669666420
| 1 | 0 | 12 |
2020-03-22 09:34:53
|
getting_over_it
|
<es>The virus lockdown ruined my suicide plan<ee> <es>I was planning on buying some pills and alcohol, and I still could, but we’re not supposed to leave our houses unless we have to.<ee>
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
why you were having suicidal thoughts
|
How did X make you feel?
|
the suicidal thoughts
|
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you are having suicidal thoughts
| null | true | 100 |
ej4cy0
|
Helping family friend and her baby get away from her abusive boyfriend. What can I expect?
|
1b
|
help-seeking
| 3 |
This feels a bit weird to type... partly not sure this is even the right place but mostly because honestly I feel very disconnected from what is going on, and everything I've heard is hearsay... as in I haven't seen or confirmed anything myself. Most of what I hear came from my mom and the family friend's mother. I'm not particularly close to the victim either, but I am to her mother. So I guess I'll explain what is going on as best I can.
FF - Family Friend - The person getting away from her boyfriend. Has a less than a year old baby. Currently lives with Boyfriend.
FFM - Family Friend's Mother - She lives next door to us and I regularly lend my car and help her out when I can with anything. Childhood friend of my mother.
BF - Boyfriend - The abuser. Bigger and stronger than me. Been told he's beating FF and even made death threats. Mentions he might do drugs were mentioned. Last time I actually seen him myself was months ago (before the baby was born) and seemed normal to me. Never really talked to him beyond "Hello".
MM - My Mother - Owns the house FFM lives in. The person who gets everything done. Not 100% sure she is relevant.
Me - 27, Male, 5'4" short skinny guy who's completely out of shape. If BF tries anything violent... I'd be beaten easily. I live with my mother. Also I have never been around violence/abuse at all.
All of this is taking place in South Carolina.
So what is going on is tomorrow afternoon I'm going to drive FFM and FF to the doctor's to get the baby their very first shots. And afterwards we're taking FF to a woman's shelter... I think. If not... where ever it is it's not back to her house with her boyfriend. And once she is safely away we are planning to get the cops involved. FFM mentioned a protection order or something. I'm worried though that when I go to pick up FF and her baby, there is a strong chance BF could try to do something. Either physically prevent FF from leaving with us, or getting into my car on his own to try and come with us. If BF gets in my car I am not leaving at all with him in it. Though... not really what sure to do if he starts making threats towards me or something. In my mind I'm thinking I'd just stand my ground, not particularly worried for my own safety... but I'm not sure what will happen. And if he threaten's FF, FFM, or the baby... I would have no idea what to do.
I should note that today, FFM used my mother's car to drive to FF's house and try to get her away from BF. Somehow BF found out this was going to happen and hit FF and made death threats or something... with FF calling BF deranged. So we're going to try again tomorrow with the doctor's visit as an excuse with me coming along too. Though this is all through FFM. This is also the first time I heard mention of BF using drugs. I trust FFM's word though. Oh and FFM mentioned BF has three out of state warrants for his arrest, though none bad enough to have him shipped back to the state the warrants are based in. I don't know how that stuff works.
That's about it. So... any advice on what to expect, or what might be a good idea to keep in mind? And what I can do to help out after we get FF away from BF? Or what to do if something prevents her from getting away?
|
gonnaBEaTHROWaway777
| 7 | 0 | 11 |
2020-01-02 21:10:41
|
domesticviolence
|
<efs>This feels a bit weird to type... partly not sure this is even the right place but mostly because honestly I feel very disconnected from what is going on, and everything I've heard is hearsay... as in I haven't seen or confirmed anything myself.<efe> <es>Most of what I hear came from my mom and the family friend's mother.<ee> <es>I'm not particularly close to the victim either, but I am to her mother.<ee> So I guess I'll explain what is going on as best I can. <es>FF - Family Friend - The person getting away from her boyfriend.<ee> <es>Has a less than a year old baby.<ee> <es>Currently lives with Boyfriend. <ee> <es>FFM - Family Friend's Mother - She lives next door to us and I regularly lend my car and help her out when I can with anything.<ee> <es>Childhood friend of my mother.<ee> <es>BF - Boyfriend - The abuser.<ee> <es>Bigger and stronger than me.<ee> <es>Been told he's beating FF and even made death threats.<ee> <es>Mentions he might do drugs were mentioned.<ee> <es>Last time I actually seen him myself was months ago (before the baby was born) and seemed normal to me.<ee> <es>Never really talked to him beyond "Hello". <ee> <es>MM - My Mother - Owns the house FFM lives in.<ee> <es>The person who gets everything done.<ee> <es>Not 100% sure she is relevant. <ee> <es>Me - 27, Male, 5'4" short skinny guy who's completely out of shape.<ee> <es>If BF tries anything violent... I'd be beaten easily.<ee> <es>I live with my mother.<ee> <es>Also I have never been around violence/abuse at all. <ee> <es>All of this is taking place in South Carolina.<ee> <es>So what is going on is tomorrow afternoon I'm going to drive FFM and FF to the doctor's to get the baby their very first shots.<ee> <es>And afterwards we're taking FF to a woman's shelter... I think.<ee> <es>If not... where ever it is it's not back to her house with her boyfriend.<ee> <es>And once she is safely away we are planning to get the cops involved.<ee> <es>FFM mentioned a protection order or something.<ee> <efs>I'm worried though that when I go to pick up FF and her baby, there is a strong chance BF could try to do something.<efe> <efs>Either physically prevent FF from leaving with us, or getting into my car on his own to try and come with us.<efe> <es>If BF gets in my car I am not leaving at all with him in it.<ee> <es>Though... not really what sure to do if he starts making threats towards me or something.<ee> <efs>In my mind I'm thinking I'd just stand my ground, not particularly worried for my own safety... but I'm not sure what will happen.<efe> <es>And if he threaten's FF, FFM, or the baby... I would have no idea what to do.<ee> <es>I should note that today, FFM used my mother's car to drive to FF's house and try to get her away from BF.<ee> <es>Somehow BF found out this was going to happen and hit FF and made death threats or something... with FF calling BF deranged.<ee> <es>So we're going to try again tomorrow with the doctor's visit as an excuse with me coming along too.<ee> <es> Though this is all through FFM.<ee> <es>This is also the first time I heard mention of BF using drugs.<ee> <es>I trust FFM's word though.<ee> <es>Oh and FFM mentioned BF has three out of state warrants for his arrest, though none bad enough to have him shipped back to the state the warrants are based in.<ee> I don't know how that stuff works. That's about it. <rs>So... any advice on what to expect, or what might be a good idea to keep in mind?<re> <rs>And what I can do to help out after we get FF away from BF?<re> <rs>Or what to do if something prevents her from getting away?<re>
| 2 | 1 | 2 | null | null |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
how you feel about the family friend's condition
| null | null | null | true | 212 |
eiq5q7
|
Bad urges and impulse problems.
|
1a
|
rant
| 2 |
Cutting helps me calm down and relax, usually I do it before I go to bed, it's really hard to sleep now unless I cut. Sometimes I cut when I'm having an anxiety attack or when I'm having a breakdown. Usually when I'm breaking down or having a panic attack I get really strong, crazy urges. I always want to cut super deep or cut in weird places. A few days ago I cut my face for the first time. It wasn't a very deep cut and it's healing pretty well. It was only a baby cut but I can't stop thinking about that. What if I do it again but it leaves a scar? I'm trying to be more careful about how deep I cut and where I cut so there are no noticeable scars. But I can't control myself once I start. Like while I'm cutting I'm very calm and kind of happy, but I also just kinda do whatever I have the urge to do. It's hard to control my urges. And I've been getting them a lot more recently. I keep scratching myself with my nails and like peeling my skin and stuff. I'm not really sure what to do, the rubber band and ice things don't really work well. I wish I never started cutting. I wish I could just get rid of my blades. I threw most of them away yesterday after I cut a lot. But I'm still keeping one. I can't bring myself to get rid of it. I need it. I need to self harm. I just want to stop.
|
Im-In-Your-Stairs
| 1 | 0 | 1 |
2020-01-02 00:11:55
|
selfharm
|
<efs>Cutting helps me calm down and relax, usually I do it before I go to bed, it's really hard to sleep now unless I cut.<efe> <es>Sometimes I cut when I'm having an anxiety attack or when I'm having a breakdown.<ee> <es>Usually when I'm breaking down or having a panic attack I get really strong, crazy urges.<ee> <es>I always want to cut super deep or cut in weird places.<ee> <es>A few days ago I cut my face for the first time.<ee> <es>It wasn't a very deep cut and it's healing pretty well.<ee> <es>It was only a baby cut but I can't stop thinking about that.<ee> <es>What if I do it again but it leaves a scar?<ee> <es>I'm trying to be more careful about how deep I cut and where I cut so there are no noticeable scars.<ee> <es>But I can't control myself once I start.<ee> <efs>Like while I'm cutting I'm very calm and kind of happy, but I also just kinda do whatever I have the urge to do.<efe> <es>It's hard to control my urges.<ee> <es>And I've been getting them a lot more recently.<ee> <es>I keep scratching myself with my nails and like peeling my skin and stuff.<ee> <es>I'm not really sure what to do, the rubber band and ice things don't really work well.<ee> <rs>I wish I never started cutting.<re> <rs>I wish I could just get rid of my blades.<re> <es>I threw most of them away yesterday after I cut a lot.<ee> <es>But I'm still keeping one.<ee> <es>I can't bring myself to get rid of it.<ee> <es>I need it.<ee> <es>I need to self harm.<ee> <rs>I just want to stop.<re>
| 2 | 2 | 2 | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 222 |
ejn9ay
|
I feel like I will feel this way forever
|
1a
|
rant
| 2 |
I am 20 years old and I still live with my parents. I have nothing in my life that gives me purpose. I dropped out of high school from anxiety and bullies, which is why I never got to go to university like I have always dreamed of. I have no job because of my panic attacks and social anxiety. Never had a boyfriend. I have no self esteem or confidence, I can’t even look someone in the eyes when I talk to them. Anxiety? I have anxiety about every little thing; social anxiety, health anxiety, and more. Soon I will be turning 21 and I want change. Atm i am on a waiting list for therapy and unfortunately it might take awhile.
A normal day for me involves nothing. I wake up, eat, and lay down again. I can’t handle it anymore. I depend on my parents for everything. They are the best parents I could ever ask for, however they are too protective and worry a lot about me. They don’t allow me to go anywhere by myself which has caused me to have anxiety about doing things myself. I go with my mother to the store, the doctor, etc. I feel like a 5 year old. I never do anything independently. Its like I am glued to them. It’s embarrassing but I have seperation anxiety. I feel like, sadly, I will be dependent forever.
I feel depressed about my life. I feel ugly, I hate everything about myself. I am a loser. Considering how my life is going so far, I am pretty sure I will be a lonely old depressed woman until I die. Single, no education, no job, living with my parents.
|
selfcareadict
| 44 | 0 | 49 |
2020-01-03 22:52:57
|
selfhelp
|
I am 20 years old and I still live with my parents. <es>I have nothing in my life that gives me purpose.<ee> <es>I dropped out of high school from anxiety and bullies, which is why I never got to go to university like I have always dreamed of.<ee> <es>I have no job because of my panic attacks and social anxiety.<ee> <es>Never had a boyfriend.<ee> <efs>I have no self esteem or confidence, I can’t even look someone in the eyes when I talk to them.<efe> Anxiety? <efs>I have anxiety about every little thing; social anxiety, health anxiety, and more.<efe> <rs>Soon I will be turning 21 and I want change.<re> <es>Atm i am on a waiting list for therapy and unfortunately it might take awhile.<ee> <es>A normal day for me involves nothing.<ee> I wake up, eat, and lay down again. <efs>I can’t handle it anymore.<efe> <es>I depend on my parents for everything.<ee> <es>They are the best parents I could ever ask for, however they are too protective and worry a lot about me.<ee> <es>They don’t allow me to go anywhere by myself.<ee> <efs>It has caused me to have anxiety about doing things myself.<efe> I go with my mother to the store, the doctor, etc. <efs>I feel like a 5 year old.<efe> <es>I never do anything independently.<ee> <es>Its like I am glued to them.<ee> <efs>It’s embarrassing but I have seperation anxiety.<efe> <efs>I feel like, sadly, I will be dependent forever.<efe> <efs>I feel depressed about my life.<efe> <efs>I feel ugly, I hate everything about myself.<efe> <efs>I am a loser.<efe> Considering how my life is going so far, I am pretty sure I will be a lonely old depressed woman until I die. Single, no education, no job, living with my parents.
| 2 | 2 | 1 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
wanting to change and dealing with your anxiety related issues
| null | true | 221 |
eq51lw
|
withdrawals unplanned
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 2 |
Ive been withdrawaling/detoxing/tapering five days now
(5 years on tramacet or tramadol with dosing varying but more lately due to chronic pain. Clonazepam for anxiety and oxy 5mg for pain not as many as the trams though )
Withdrawals in regards to trams.
With the mindset to really get my shit together. My negative thoughts aren’t as prominent as when I was using and want to push forward. I don’t drink. I don’t use Street drugs. I want to be sober and find another passage for pain so I don’t waste more time that I can’t get back.
The withdrawals and pain first day were awful I wouldn’t wish on anybody.
I’ve been told trams aren’t as bad as oxy and i can’t use clonazepam for anxiety with withdrawals because I’ll just misuse.
Mind my rambling.. should I continue my taper since my mindset is to kick everything or dive straight into full withdrawals
|
SeaMap5
| 1 | 0 | 4 |
2020-01-17 19:24:11
|
OpiatesRecovery
|
<es>Ive been withdrawaling/detoxing/tapering five days now (5 years on tramacet or tramadol with dosing varying but more lately due to chronic pain.<ee> <es>Clonazepam for anxiety and oxy 5mg for pain not as many as the trams though ).<ee> <es>Withdrawals in regards to trams. <ee> <es>With the mindset to really get my shit together.<ee> <es>My negative thoughts aren’t as prominent as when I was using and want to push forward.<ee> <es>I don’t drink.<ee> <es>I don’t use Street drugs.<ee> <rs>I want to be sober and find another passage for pain so I don’t waste more time that I can’t get back. <re> <es>The withdrawals and pain first day were awful I wouldn’t wish on anybody. <ee> <es>I’ve been told trams aren’t as bad as oxy and i can’t use clonazepam for anxiety with withdrawals because I’ll just misuse. <ee> <rs>Mind my rambling.. should I continue my taper since my mindset is to kick everything or dive straight into full withdrawals<re>
| 2 | 0 | 2 | null | null |
How did X make you feel?
|
the tapering
| null | null | null | true | 202 |
ekwifn
|
Trying to join a sports team
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 1 |
Hi guys so I was wondering if anyone can give me some advice. So there is a american football team me that is going to start doing trails for all skill ranges and I really want to push myself to go but I just can’t get certain thoughts out my head.
The main one is that I wouldn’t be welcome at these trails. I know logically that everyone is welcome but I just feel id be the only one not welcome. I also get nerves about looking stupid and not taking any of the right gear with me and being judged for being stupid.i also tend to think if I did go it would end up messing with my work and causing unnecessary drama.
I know for a fact in my life I have let big opportunities go by worrying and over thinking a situation and I really don’t want to miss any opportunities now. I just can’t get the idea of going and not getting accepted by the team or being the only one who doesn’t know what they are supposed to do.
Any help is much appreciated thank you so much.
|
DiaOneStump
| 1 | 0 | 5 |
2020-01-06 16:39:09
|
socialanxiety
|
<rs>Hi guys so I was wondering if anyone can give me some advice.<re> <es>So there is a american football team me that is going to start doing trails for all skill ranges and I really want to push myself to go but I just can’t get certain thoughts out my head. <ee> <es>The main one is that I wouldn’t be welcome at these trails.<ee> <efs>I know logically that everyone is welcome but I just feel id be the only one not welcome.<efe> <es>I also get nerves about looking stupid and not taking any of the right gear with me and being judged for being stupid.<ee><es>i also tend to think if I did go it would end up messing with my work and causing unnecessary drama. <ee> <rs>I know for a fact in my life I have let big opportunities go by worrying and over thinking a situation and I really don’t want to miss any opportunities now.<re> <es>I just can’t get the idea of going and not getting accepted by the team or being the only one who doesn’t know what they are supposed to do.<ee> <rs>Any help is much appreciated thank you so much.<re>
| 2 | 1 | 2 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
why you feel not welcome
| null | null | null | true | 212 |
ejd0ny
|
Is it possible to have a healthy casual friendship with "ex" fp?
|
0
|
help-seeking
| 1 |
It was more one sided romantic relationship, I crushed on him quite for some time. Wasn't talking to him a month after realising he doesn't see me as his potential girlfriend. Back then he was influencing me quite a bit and I loved the freedom of not talking to him. But now we're back to talking, and only after two days, I find myself thinking about if he messaged me when I woke up.
Kind of feels like I still need more time to detach myself from him emotionally but also am wondering if it's even possible to keep the healthy distance while chatting with him, I would really to stay friends with him, he's wholesome. Just...god I don't want anyone as a fp, except myself.
|
sulkystorm
| 1 | 0 | 4 |
2020-01-03 09:13:50
|
BPD
|
<rs> Is it possible to have a healthy casual friendship with "ex" fp? <re> <es>It was more one sided romantic relationship, I crushed on him quite for some time.<ee> <es>Wasn't talking to him a month after realising he doesn't see me as his potential girlfriend.<ee> <es>Back then he was influencing me quite a bit and I loved the freedom of not talking to him.<ee> <es>But now we're back to talking, and only after two days, I find myself thinking about if he messaged me when I woke up. <ee> <efs>Kind of feels like I still need more time to detach myself from him emotionally but also am wondering if it's even possible to keep the healthy distance while chatting with him, I would really to stay friends with him, he's wholesome.<efe> Just...god I don't want anyone as a fp, except myself.
| 2 | 2 | 2 | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 222 |
el3pac
|
Is the risk worth it?
|
0
|
help-seeking
| 1 |
I have been drinking heavily for the past 10 years. Throughout this time I have put the bottle down on a few occasions, my longest being 111 days. I've made up my mind I'm going to quit cold turkey but am now having second thoughts. I honestly dont want to drink a drop tonight and have been mentally preparing and know I can do it.. but I haven't been sober for more 3 days at a time, in the last year and a half. I went without drinking one night last week and didnt sleep a minute. I sweat so much my whole bed was soaking wet and when I'd close my eyes I could vividly see hallucinations. I dont have medical insurance at the moment and am terrified after researching the topic, that I could have a seizure.
Am I better off going cold turkey, if I'm mentally strong enough or slowly cutting back?
|
adviceneeded-thanks
| 1 | 0 | 24 |
2020-01-07 01:08:07
|
alcoholicsanonymous
|
<es>I have been drinking heavily for the past 10 years.<ee> <es>Throughout this time I have put the bottle down on a few occasions, my longest being 111 days.<ee <es>I've made up my mind I'm going to quit cold turkey but am now having second thoughts.<ee> <es>I honestly dont want to drink a drop tonight and have been mentally preparing and know I can do it.. but I haven't been sober for more 3 days at a time, in the last year and a half.<ee> <es>I went without drinking one night last week and didnt sleep a minute.<ee> <efs>I sweat so much my whole bed was soaking wet and when I'd close my eyes I could vividly see hallucinations.<efe> <efs>I dont have medical insurance at the moment and am terrified after researching the topic, that I could have a seizure. <efe> <rs>Am I better off going cold turkey, if I'm mentally strong enough or slowly cutting back?<re>
| 2 | 2 | 2 | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 222 |
f1ugw8
|
I hit myself about 30 times last night hard in the skull
|
0
|
help-seeking
| 1 |
I've done this before and the headache goes away, I hit myself so hard though I have bruises of the pattern of the beanie I was wearing all over my forehead and top of my head. I got a REALLY excruciation pain in my head about an hour ago. I have never felt a pain that badly in my head, it overcame my entire head I actually had to stop everything I was doing and just try and get through it. I think I'm okay I can't afford ER visit, but I guess theres a chance something bad is happening? I don't know, anybody?
|
Sweaty-Freedom
| 1 | 0 | 6 |
2020-02-10 18:27:05
|
Anger
|
I've done this before and the headache goes away, I hit myself so hard though I have bruises of the pattern of the beanie I was wearing all over my forehead and top of my head. I got a REALLY excruciation pain in my head about an hour ago. I have never felt a pain that badly in my head, it overcame my entire head I actually had to stop everything I was doing and just try and get through it. I think I'm okay I can't afford ER visit, but I guess theres a chance something bad is happening? I don't know, anybody?
| 2 | 0 | 2 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null |
How did X make you feel?
|
the pain in the head
| null | null | null | true | 202 |
ejy6sx
|
I'm uncrushable
|
0
|
rant
| 1 |
Because no one would have a crush on me
😎😎😎
|
morningstaraldan
| 2 | 0 | 6 |
2020-01-04 15:49:43
|
sad
|
Because no one would have a crush on me 😎😎😎
| 0 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
random
| true | 0 |
f35wtd
|
How can I get over my fear of going to the gynecologist?
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 1 |
I was raped when I was 6 or 7. I am 18 now, and I have only been to the gynecologist one time, it was to get birth control. I really hated being there. There was no pelvic exam or anything, and the doctor didn’t look at my vagina or touch it, but I hated being in the presence of a man in that context. Currently I have some sort of cyst or something on my labia majora that I really need to get checked out, but I’m too scared to go to the gynecologist. If I go to get the cyst checked out, my Male Doctor will have to touch me, and I just don’t want that to happen. My mom would be the one who would take me to the appointment, and she loves that doctor so much, so it would be so hard to tell her that I want a female doctor. (My mom doesn’t know that I was raped.) If I could get my boyfriend to come I would but I don’t think that would be possible because my mom would have to know about the appointment. How can I get over my fear of going to the gynecologist? This bump really needs to go away but I’m so scared to go.
|
ilickedthesaltlamp
| 1 | 0 | 6 |
2020-02-13 06:43:09
|
rapecounseling
|
<es>I was raped when I was 6 or 7.<ee> <es>I am 18 now, and I have only been to the gynecologist one time, it was to get birth control.<ee> <es>I really hated being there.<ee> <es>There was no pelvic exam or anything, and the doctor didn’t look at my vagina or touch it, but I hated being in the presence of a man in that context.<ee> <es>Currently I have some sort of cyst or something on my labia majora that I really need to get checked out.<ee> <efs>I’m too scared to go to the gynecologist. <efe><es>If I go to get the cyst checked out, my Male Doctor will have to touch me, and I just don’t want that to happen.<ee> <es>My mom would be the one who would take me to the appointment, and she loves that doctor so much, so it would be so hard to tell her that I want a female doctor.<ee> <es>(My mom doesn’t know that I was raped.)<ee> <es>If I could get my boyfriend to come I would but I don’t think that would be possible because my mom would have to know about the appointment.<ee> <rs>How can I get over my fear of going to the gynecologist?<re> <efs>This bump really needs to go away but I’m so scared to go.<efe>
| 2 | 2 | 2 | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 222 |
eijtl5
|
I overcame a long time issue last night....
|
1b
|
rant
| 3 |
Hello Reddit! First time posting and not sure how this works... but here we go.
In the spirit of the New Year and trying to get my own shit together, this first post is about the fear I had to face last night on New Years Eve.
Here is some background to get started: About 5 or 6 years ago or so, I had gotten out of a very emotionally abusive relationship that took place over the course of 2 years, things ended horribly. We have the same mutual friend group (since high school) and we are both always invited to the gatherings. However within these last few years, it has been impossible for me to be in the same vicinity or room with my ex ( last time I saw him walking down the street a few years ago I had a panic attack and couldn't keep it together), therefore I only went to gatherings where I knew for sure he wouldn't show. After being like this for years, and fearing to revert back to how shitty he made me feel, last night I kept my shit together.
*Last Night:*
As a last minute decision, my group decided to have a gathering for New years Eve. As I was getting ready to go out and enjoy my time with my friends, I get the news that my ex will be there with his girlfriend (she being 1 reason why things ended). Queue freak out....
I stop getting ready and begin to pace. My heart felt like it was beating out of my chest, I was extremely cold and hot but sweating, and of course shaking like a leaf. After sitting down on my bedroom floor, my boyfriend asked how im feeling.
I was feeling... scared, nervous, anxious, and hurt. Yet another holiday and gathering that I wont be able to attended because of HIM, so I feel angry and cheated. Although it been years since ive seen him, I dont ever want to feel the way I felt when I last saw him (panic attack mode) and will try to avoid that reaction again at all costs.
Im so occupied by my feelings that my boyfriend so kindly reminds me to BREATHE and SLOW DOWN. I hadnt realized through the pacing and contemplation and sitting down not moving, I was not breathing the entire time. So finally I sit for a few minutes and try to calm my mind.
After taking a few breaths, my boyfriend and I discuss our options:
1. We could go to my older brothers house and spend it there
2. We could go catch a movie instead
3. Or we could just stay home
But, lately for gathering's that I do not attend because of this conflict, I start to feel cheated, and feel like I am missing out on great moments/memories with MY friends. I am starting to get tired of missing out and not allowing myself to enjoy the people I love because of somebody else's influence. I want things to be different.
After suggesting I check in with my brothers to see what they are up to, my younger brother decides to come with me to the party. So with the encouragement and help from my boyfriend and brother I decide to finally make this the year that I show up.
The car ride over was nerve wracking, and getting out of the car was worse. But thanks to some herbal medication, I clouded my mind enough to enter the house.
My heart starts beating quickly and I start sweating as soon as I see him. SO I avoid any eye contact or opportunities that may potentially open the floor to us interacting. And immediately I decide that I, in no way have to interact with him at all while being here. So I dont.
After a few sake shots and heavily medicating myself to make sure I dont feel any kind of emotion, I get through it. I didnt interact with him or his girlfriend ( sorry but I have no interest in any part of this mans life and have no interest in hearing anything from either of them), didnt even walk past or get close enough to strike conversation or be bothered by him.
So I did it. Although I was unconformable, on high alert, and working hard to just be there, I got through and have proven to myself that I can now be in the same area as he is and I can now fully enjoy all the time I want with my friends. And although it wasnt done in the healthiest of ways, I still did it. Even though I did it, I will most likely still be mindful of attending if he is, I dont want to have to use all my energy to be normal and focus on not freaking out, I dont want to have to work to enjoy something that shouldn't require work. I shouldnt have to be on high alert or uncomfortable when spending time with my friends and not even enjoy the gathering.
So im starting this New Year off by overcoming my fear. Regarding the situation and my ex, im not better, BUT im okay.... and I will continue to work at this. Hopefully one day I wont have to work at controlling my emotions, anxiety, and pretending to be completely comfortable when im not.
Im very thankful to my boyfriend, brother and supportive friends who helped me in overcoming this one night and understand my needs enough to know when im okay and when im not.
Thank you.
|
Ev1lHag
| 1 | 0 | 2 |
2020-01-01 16:01:30
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Anxiety
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Hello Reddit! First time posting and not sure how this works... but here we go. In the spirit of the New Year and trying to get my own shit together, this first post is about the fear I had to face last night on New Years Eve. Here is some background to get started: About 5 or 6 years ago or so, I had gotten out of a very emotionally abusive relationship that took place over the course of 2 years, things ended horribly. We have the same mutual friend group (since high school) and we are both always invited to the gatherings. However within these last few years, it has been impossible for me to be in the same vicinity or room with my ex ( last time I saw him walking down the street a few years ago I had a panic attack and couldn't keep it together), therefore I only went to gatherings where I knew for sure he wouldn't show. After being like this for years, and fearing to revert back to how shitty he made me feel, last night I kept my shit together. *Last Night:* As a last minute decision, my group decided to have a gathering for New years Eve. As I was getting ready to go out and enjoy my time with my friends, I get the news that my ex will be there with his girlfriend (she being 1 reason why things ended). Queue freak out.... I stop getting ready and begin to pace. My heart felt like it was beating out of my chest, I was extremely cold and hot but sweating, and of course shaking like a leaf. After sitting down on my bedroom floor, my boyfriend asked how im feeling. I was feeling... scared, nervous, anxious, and hurt. Yet another holiday and gathering that I wont be able to attended because of HIM, so I feel angry and cheated. Although it been years since ive seen him, I dont ever want to feel the way I felt when I last saw him (panic attack mode) and will try to avoid that reaction again at all costs. Im so occupied by my feelings that my boyfriend so kindly reminds me to BREATHE and SLOW DOWN. I hadnt realized through the pacing and contemplation and sitting down not moving, I was not breathing the entire time. So finally I sit for a few minutes and try to calm my mind. After taking a few breaths, my boyfriend and I discuss our options: 1. We could go to my older brothers house and spend it there 2. We could go catch a movie instead 3. Or we could just stay home But, lately for gathering's that I do not attend because of this conflict, I start to feel cheated, and feel like I am missing out on great moments/memories with MY friends. I am starting to get tired of missing out and not allowing myself to enjoy the people I love because of somebody else's influence. I want things to be different. After suggesting I check in with my brothers to see what they are up to, my younger brother decides to come with me to the party. So with the encouragement and help from my boyfriend and brother I decide to finally make this the year that I show up. The car ride over was nerve wracking, and getting out of the car was worse. But thanks to some herbal medication, I clouded my mind enough to enter the house. My heart starts beating quickly and I start sweating as soon as I see him. SO I avoid any eye contact or opportunities that may potentially open the floor to us interacting. And immediately I decide that I, in no way have to interact with him at all while being here. So I dont. After a few sake shots and heavily medicating myself to make sure I dont feel any kind of emotion, I get through it. I didnt interact with him or his girlfriend ( sorry but I have no interest in any part of this mans life and have no interest in hearing anything from either of them), didnt even walk past or get close enough to strike conversation or be bothered by him. So I did it. Although I was unconformable, on high alert, and working hard to just be there, I got through and have proven to myself that I can now be in the same area as he is and I can now fully enjoy all the time I want with my friends. And although it wasnt done in the healthiest of ways, I still did it. Even though I did it, I will most likely still be mindful of attending if he is, I dont want to have to use all my energy to be normal and focus on not freaking out, I dont want to have to work to enjoy something that shouldn't require work. I shouldnt have to be on high alert or uncomfortable when spending time with my friends and not even enjoy the gathering. So im starting this New Year off by overcoming my fear. Regarding the situation and my ex, im not better, BUT im okay.... and I will continue to work at this. Hopefully one day I wont have to work at controlling my emotions, anxiety, and pretending to be completely comfortable when im not. Im very thankful to my boyfriend, brother and supportive friends who helped me in overcoming this one night and understand my needs enough to know when im okay and when im not. Thank you.
| 0 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
positive
| true | 0 |
er3ic0
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Do violent abusive men ever truly change?
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1b
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survey
| 2 |
I'm looking for answers from people who have been in a domestic abuse situation or more specifically from men who have issues with anger and have been violent towards women (especially since this is all anonymous)
I have been with my Partner for about a year and a half. Yesterday I received a message from his ex informing me that he had been very violent towards here. She described the attacks in detail and sent screen shots of messages between them to back this up. She then sent screen shots between herself and his ex before her confirming he did the same to her. This behavior started about a year or less into their relationships, and I was told his triggers were thinking they were cheating on him.
It didn't end with the end of the relationship as he continued to stay in their houses, refuse to move out, break in and stalk. This is the part that worries me most. This all happened 7 years ago or more.
Now, while my Partner has lied to me and been caught out in the past. He has never been violent or abusive towards me in any way, he's never even raised his voice at me, even when provoked with me being bitch towards him. He is very evasive about his past but behaves like he's always been this calm. He's very caring, giving, non jealous, chilled out and loving with me.
We both work away from home and are currently away. I'm flying home to get security cameras installed in my house, and this afternoon I'll call him and tell him what I know and ask him to be honest with me about his past. All I'm asking from you guy's is your opinion on whether people do change or is it likely he'll turn on me too?
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CantSayItInPublic
| 1 | 0 | 26 |
2020-01-19 22:30:29
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domesticviolence
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<rs>I'm looking for answers from people who have been in a domestic abuse situation or more specifically from men who have issues with anger and have been violent towards women (especially since this is all anonymous)<re> <es>I have been with my Partner for about a year and a half.<ee> <es>Yesterday I received a message from his ex informing me that he had been very violent towards here.<ee> <es>She described the attacks in detail and sent screen shots of messages between them to back this up.<ee> <es>She then sent screen shots between herself and his ex before her confirming he did the same to her.<ee> <es>This behavior started about a year or less into their relationships, and I was told his triggers were thinking they were cheating on him.<ee> <es>It didn't end with the end of the relationship as he continued to stay in their houses, refuse to move out, break in and stalk.<ee> <efs>This is the part that worries me most.<efe> <es>This all happened 7 years ago or more. <ee> <es>Now, while my Partner has lied to me and been caught out in the past.<ee> <es>He has never been violent or abusive towards me in any way, he's never even raised his voice at me, even when provoked with me being bitch towards him.<ee> <es>He is very evasive about his past but behaves like he's always been this calm.<ee> <es>He's very caring, giving, non jealous, chilled out and loving with me.<ee> <es>We both work away from home and are currently away.<ee> <es>I'm flying home to get security cameras installed in my house, and this afternoon I'll call him and tell him what I know and ask him to be honest with me about his past.<ee> <rs>All I'm asking from you guy's is your opinion on whether people do change or is it likely he'll turn on me too?<re>
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Can you elaborate more on X ?
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how you feel about your partner's past
| null | null | null | true | 212 |
ej3gtw
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Coming up on 4 days sober.
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1a
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rant
| 2 |
If this gets annoying I apologise. I am trying to check in and just vent/share my addiction and experiences regularly because I still don't know if I'll manage to get myself to a meeting. Once I make it through the weekend I feel like I'll try to post once a week until I have a month behind me.
I managed to get up at 330 am have a coffee and hit the gym before work. Packed a healthy lunch and haven't had a cigarette in 3 days. I feel good today but I know from experience how quick that can change. The real challenge is going to be Friday night when I don't have work in the morning. I'm gonna try to keep focused on eating healthy because I really let myself go over the holidays. Things still aren't smooth with my wife and to be honest idk if I'm happy in the relationship as it is but I'm not trying to act on that anymore. Even if I dont act on that feeling I can't get rid of the feeling itself and it really eats at me. Maybe she'll get happier because I'm doing better and there will be some unseen butterfly effect I can't really predict that will change things for the better. The only thing I can really do is not drink and keep working on myself and just hope for the best.
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IDefNeedHelpz
| 9 | 0 | 53 |
2020-01-02 20:09:56
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alcoholicsanonymous
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<es>Coming up on 4 days sober.<ee> If this gets annoying I apologise. <es>I am trying to check in and just vent/share my addiction and experiences regularly because I still don't know if I'll manage to get myself to a meeting.<ee> Once I make it through the weekend I feel like I'll try to post once a week until I have a month behind me. <es>I managed to get up at 330 am have a coffee and hit the gym before work.<ee> <es>Packed a healthy lunch and haven't had a cigarette in 3 days.<ee> <efs>I feel good today but I know from experience how quick that can change.<efe> <es>The real challenge is going to be Friday night when I don't have work in the morning.<ee> <es>I'm gonna try to keep focused on eating healthy because I really let myself go over the holidays.<ee> <efs>Things still aren't smooth with my wife and to be honest idk if I'm happy in the relationship as it is but I'm not trying to act on that anymore.<efe> <efs>Even if I dont act on that feeling I can't get rid of the feeling itself and it really eats at me.<efe> <es>Maybe she'll get happier because I'm doing better and there will be some unseen butterfly effect I can't really predict that will change things for the better.<ee> <es>The only thing I can really do is not drink and keep working on myself and just hope for the best.<ee>
| 2 | 2 | 0 | null | null | null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
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things are not good in your relationship
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fco67n
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I feel mentally crippled by my anxiety
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1a
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help-seeking
| 1 |
I know that this is a pretty common feeling for people with depression and anxiety disorders. I've just been feeling really overwhelmed by it lately, and coming to terms with it has been one of my biggest hurdles with learning to cope.
The weird thing is that all of this hit me after I've been making progress with it. I've been going to counseling, on medication, bettering life habits, I have a rad partner, and we have great friends. I've been busting my ass learning to work with my depression and anxiety but now I feel like they're the only thing my personality and thoughts were comprised of. So much of my life has been fueled by anxious energy that, during the short times I can shake it, I don't know what to do without it. Like I literally can't think with a clear or calm head. I hate it.
Has this happened to any of you? I think I was mostly wanting to complain about it but I'd love to hear some experiences or advice. I know I still have a long way to go with learning to cope, this is all just hitting me really hard right now.
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ElusiveGooser
| 1 | 0 | 5 |
2020-03-03 03:06:36
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getting_over_it
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<es>I know that this is a pretty common feeling for people with depression and anxiety disorders.<ee> <efs>I've just been feeling really overwhelmed by it lately, and coming to terms with it has been one of my biggest hurdles with learning to cope.<efe> <es>The weird thing is that all of this hit me after I've been making progress with it.<ee> <es>I've been going to counseling, on medication, bettering life habits, I have a rad partner, and we have great friends.<ee> <es>I've been busting my ass learning to work with my depression and anxiety but now I feel like they're the only thing my personality and thoughts were comprised of.<ee> <efs>So much of my life has been fueled by anxious energy that, during the short times I can shake it, I don't know what to do without it.<efe> <efs>Like I literally can't think with a clear or calm head.<efe> <efs>I hate it.<efe> <rs>Has this happened to any of you?<re> <rs>I think I was mostly wanting to complain about it but I'd love to hear some experiences or advice.<re> <es>I know I still have a long way to go with learning to cope, this is all just hitting me really hard right now.<ee>
| 2 | 2 | 2 | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 222 |
enjq1x
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Cant Remember Parts of Trauma?
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1b
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help-seeking
| 2 |
Hi im back again, another question. Its also gonna end up being another vent and ramble but any advice helps.
I have ptsd from repeated intense instances of trauma in my childhood, and I’ve already talked to my dr about how my memory about it was affected because of how many times it happened.
However there is one specific memory not at all related to that main trauma that just stops at a certain point.
Tl;Dr: Is it possible to just have complete memory loss of specific trauma, or does that mean nothing traumatic actually happened?
TW for possible CSA and INCEST//
It was the last thanksgiving we had at my grandmas house and I was like 12, 13? Anyway there was a 19yo cousin there who was making sexual comments and shit at me and at one point i was playing a video game with my younger brother that evening in the basement and he came down and sat next to me and put his arm around me while telling my brother to leave and give us space. But thats all I remember.
I don’t remember anything at all of the rest of the night, not going home, not my family, nothing. I don’t know if anything happened or not. I don’t know if my brother stayed down there (he was adamant on not leaving through the time I have the memory) and i dont know if anything traumatic actually happened or Im just assuming the worst.
The only thing i know is that the memory causes horrible panic attacks whenever I come across a trigger. I havent brought it up with my therapist because I dont know for sure if anything actually happened and i dont want to waste her time.
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dumbbastardtwink
| 1 | 0 | 3 |
2020-01-12 05:52:03
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ptsd
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Hi im back again, another question. <rs>Its also gonna end up being another vent and ramble but any advice helps.<re> <es>I have ptsd from repeated intense instances of trauma in my childhood, and I’ve already talked to my dr about how my memory about it was affected because of how many times it happened.<ee> <es>However there is one specific memory not at all related to that main trauma that just stops at a certain point.<ee> <rs>Tl;Dr: Is it possible to just have complete memory loss of specific trauma, or does that mean nothing traumatic actually happened?<re> TW for possible CSA and INCEST// <es>It was the last thanksgiving we had at my grandmas house and I was like 12, 13?<ee> <es>Anyway there was a 19yo cousin there who was making sexual comments and shit at me and at one point i was playing a video game with my younger brother that evening in the basement and he came down and sat next to me and put his arm around me while telling my brother to leave and give us space.<ee> <es>But thats all I remember.<ee> <es>I don’t remember anything at all of the rest of the night, not going home, not my family, nothing.<ee> <es>I don’t know if anything happened or not.<ee> <es>I don’t know if my brother stayed down there (he was adamant on not leaving through the time I have the memory) and i dont know if anything traumatic actually happened or Im just assuming the worst.<ee> <efs>The only thing i know is that the memory causes horrible panic attacks whenever I come across a trigger.<efe> <es>I havent brought it up with my therapist because I dont know for sure if anything actually happened and i dont want to waste her time.<ee>
| 2 | 1 | 2 | null | null |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
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how the repeated flashbacks make you feel
| null | null | null | true | 212 |
eiro64
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Sick of it
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1b
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rant
| 1 |
I love her but she can't get over her shitty ex so at this point I'm just being led on.
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wimall
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
2020-01-02 02:13:08
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sad
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<es>I love her but she can't get over her shitty ex so at this point I'm just being led on.<ee>
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
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your relationship
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How did X make you feel?
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being led on
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What do you need help with now that X?
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you are sick of being led on
| null | true | 100 |
eic3r1
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I don’t even know what to call this and the fact that I was drunk doesn’t help me define what happened. Drugged? Maybe. Raped? I think so. I feel gross.
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1a
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rant
| 2 |
I was travelling in Costa Rica and went out with people from the hostel I was staying at. We all were drinking and went out to this local bar in the town. I remember going inside the bar and dancing with 2 local women and taking a shot with them. We went back outside and were all talking in a group of locals & travellers. Everything then turns black.
Fast forward to the next morning.... I am in a house in the middle of the forest with no doors, or windows laying on a mattress on the floor naked, in a pile of my own feces. There’s nobody in the bedroom and I start panicking trying to find my clothes and get the hell out of there... I walk out of the bedroom and there is a local Costa Rican man sitting on his couch, also naked. I stumbled out in shock. I don’t know who this person is or what he’s going to do to me. I asked him to tell me where my clothes are, he didn’t help me find them so I started walking around looking for them.... my clothes were outside on his driveway.
I was extremely scared and wasn’t sure how to comprehend what happened and I felt still drunk. I didn’t know where I was but from when I was outside looking for my clothes, I feel like I was in the country.
I may have not remembered the sex that took place but I feel still violated to this day and my views on sex, rough sex, anal sex does not interest me at all. I’m really sad about what happened. Am I overreacting just because I don’t remember the sex that took place?
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494250501
| 1 | 0 | 6 |
2020-01-01 01:31:32
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rapecounseling
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<es>I was travelling in Costa Rica and went out with people from the hostel I was staying at.<ee> <es>We all were drinking and went out to this local bar in the town.<ee> <es>I remember going inside the bar and dancing with 2 local women and taking a shot with them.<ee> <es>We went back outside and were all talking in a group of locals & travellers.<ee> <es>Everything then turns black. <ee> <es>Fast forward to the next morning.... I am in a house in the middle of the forest with no doors, or windows laying on a mattress on the floor naked, in a pile of my own feces.<ee> <es> There’s nobody in the bedroom and I start panicking trying to find my clothes and get the hell out of there... I walk out of the bedroom and there is a local Costa Rican man sitting on his couch, also naked.<ee> <es>I stumbled out in shock.<ee> <es>I don’t know who this person is or what he’s going to do to me.<ee> <es>I asked him to tell me where my clothes are, he didn’t help me find them so I started walking around looking for them.... my clothes were outside on his driveway.<ee> <efs>I was extremely scared and wasn’t sure how to comprehend what happened and I felt still drunk.<efe> <es>I didn’t know where I was but from when I was outside looking for my clothes, I feel like I was in the country. <ee> <efs>I may have not remembered the sex that took place but I feel still violated to this day and my views on sex, rough sex, anal sex does not interest me at all.<efe> <efs>I’m really sad about what happened.<efe> <rs>Am I overreacting just because I don’t remember the sex that took place?<re>
| 2 | 2 | 2 | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 222 |
em3w8v
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A new year’s turn for the worst
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1b
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rant
| 3 |
I just need to get all of this out.
My wife and I have been married a year and a half, together for 4.5. Early on in our relationship, a lot got in the way. Our mental health, our families, and my friends. We had many terrible “no coming back from this” fights. Early on they were frequent, as often as once a week. Over time we both sought therapy, separated from our respective helicopter parents, and began to grow. We are proudly both stable. We have social lives again, our fights are normal married couple fights. We understand each other and communicate very well. However, despite all the improvement, each of us have been missing something from the relationship.
On my end, I’m not receiving the love I need. My wife ranges from disinterested to annoyed whenever I want to talk about myself, which isn’t often. I don’t feel supported, and my opinions, feelings, time and energy always feel secondary to hers.
On her end, she is not getting what she needs - genuine connection, passion, and romance. Unfortunately for reasons beyond her, I’m very guarded with putting myself in emotionally vulnerable positions. I don’t often let my authentic self show. When I should be serious, I act goofy. When I need to take care of something, I shut down.
So last night, with a trip to Mexico starting Saturday looming, she told me she thinks we should split up. And as much as it hurt, it was hard to disagree. Neither of us have been happy. I wanted to work on it with a therapist but she did not want to. So we talked for a long time, about how it could be possible that we love each other so much, but can both not be happy. We left it off saying we’ll go to therapy and work toward separating while remaining friends - we really care about each other so much.
Then tonight happened. She came clean about cheating on me this past Saturday night. On top of that, she wants to take space and see other people, while leaving the door open for us if we decide it’s what we want.
I’m terrified, I’m hurt, I’m confused. I’ve never smelt so insignificant. I guess the reason for my post is to see how others have picked up the pieces in a situation like this. I’m completely lost.
TL;DR - Partner of 4.5 years cheated on me, don’t know what to do
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shinobi727
| 1 | 0 | 1 |
2020-01-09 03:27:44
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selfhelp
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<rs>I just need to get all of this out.<re> <es>My wife and I have been married a year and a half, together for 4.5.<ee> <es>Early on in our relationship, a lot got in the way.<ee> <es>Our mental health, our families, and my friends.<ee> <es>We had many terrible “no coming back from this” fights.<ee> <es>Early on they were frequent, as often as once a week.<ee> <es>Over time we both sought therapy, separated from our respective helicopter parents, and began to grow.<ee> <es>We are proudly both stable.<ee> <es>We have social lives again, our fights are normal married couple fights.<ee> <es>We understand each other and communicate very well. <ee><es>However, despite all the improvement, each of us have been missing something from the relationship.<ee> <es>On my end, I’m not receiving the love I need.<ee> <es>My wife ranges from disinterested to annoyed whenever I want to talk about myself, which isn’t often.<ee> <efs>I don’t feel supported, and my opinions, feelings, time and energy always feel secondary to hers.<efe> <es>On her end, she is not getting what she needs - genuine connection, passion, and romance.<ee> <es>Unfortunately for reasons beyond her, I’m very guarded with putting myself in emotionally vulnerable positions.<ee> <es>I don’t often let my authentic self show.<ee> <es>When I should be serious, I act goofy.<ee> <es>When I need to take care of something, I shut down. <ee> <es>So last night, with a trip to Mexico starting Saturday looming, she told me she thinks we should split up.<ee> <efs>And as much as it hurt, it was hard to disagree.<efe> <es>Neither of us have been happy.<ee> <es>I wanted to work on it with a therapist but she did not want to.<ee> <es>So we talked for a long time, about how it could be possible that we love each other so much, but can both not be happy.<ee> <es>We left it off saying we’ll go to therapy and work toward separating while remaining friends - we really care about each other so much.<ee> <es>Then tonight happened.<ee> <es>She came clean about cheating on me this past Saturday night.<ee> <es>On top of that, she wants to take space and see other people, while leaving the door open for us if we decide it’s what we want.<ee> <efs>I’m terrified, I’m hurt, I’m confused.<efe> <efs>I’ve never smelt so insignificant.<efe> <rs>I guess the reason for my post is to see how others have picked up the pieces in a situation like this.<re> <efs>I’m completely lost.<efe> <es>TL;DR - Partner of 4.5 years cheated on me, don’t know what to do<ee>
| 2 | 2 | 2 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 222 |
eiiz4z
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23 yo Newly Diagnosed - need some tips on coping strategies
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1a
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help-seeking
| 2 |
Title as above, psychiatrist interviewed me and mum, looked through school report cards, and say that the picture is consistent with ADHD, although mild since it remained undetected until now. While I've looked up the internet for some coping strategies, I would also like to ask users here what are some practical tips you have found to cope with the following challenges that I face (and has strained my relationship and work performance-i had no idea why until now)
1. Conversations with other people, lectures --I literally zone out and my brain doesn't register what is being said halfway into the conversation, even if it is a one-on-one conversation and I'm literally looking at the person in the eye and trying to remember what is being said, but my brain will literally stop taking in the words despite my efforts. How can I cope with this?
2. I work with families, but sometimes when I need to do more than 2 things - eg take notes, listen to parents, keep an eye out for child, keep in mind what questions to ask next etc - i realize that I would hyperfixate on one thing and totally disregard/forget the others. It is not even intentional. For example if I listen to parent, I stop noticing their non-verbal cues and only fixate on what they have to say. If I have to interact with child while parents are trying to talk to me I literally cannot register what the parents say, and vice versa. Please help, my career needs me to multitask like this and I need help.
3. I am careless. I would go through repetitive tasks forgetting minor details like punctuation, filling in boxes etc. This has made me paranoid and I check and check the work compulsively until I waste a ton of time. Any tips that you have found useful to help to cope with carelessness?
Would appreciate any advice and tips. I'm not sure which aspect of ADHD is this either so some insight is required.
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berryborealis
| 1 | 0 | 6 |
2020-01-01 14:40:43
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ADHD
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<rs>23 yo Newly Diagnosed - need some tips on coping strategies<re> <es>Title as above, psychiatrist interviewed me and mum, looked through school report cards, and say that the picture is consistent with ADHD, although mild since it remained undetected until now.<ee> <rs>While I've looked up the internet for some coping strategies, I would also like to ask users here what are some practical tips you have found to cope with the following challenges that I face (and has strained my relationship and work performance-i had no idea why until now)<re> <es>1. Conversations with other people, lectures --I literally zone out and my brain doesn't register what is being said halfway into the conversation, even if it is a one-on-one conversation and I'm literally looking at the person in the eye and trying to remember what is being said, but my brain will literally stop taking in the words despite my efforts.<ee> <rs>How can I cope with this?<re> <es>2. I work with families, but sometimes when I need to do more than 2 things - eg take notes, listen to parents, keep an eye out for child, keep in mind what questions to ask next etc - i realize that I would hyperfixate on one thing and totally disregard/forget the others.<ee> <es>It is not even intentional.<ee> <es>For example if I listen to parent, I stop noticing their non-verbal cues and only fixate on what they have to say.<ee> <es>If I have to interact with child while parents are trying to talk to me I literally cannot register what the parents say, and vice versa.<ee> <rs> Please help, my career needs me to multitask like this and I need help.<re> <es>3. I am careless. I would go through repetitive tasks forgetting minor details like punctuation, filling in boxes etc.<ee> <efs>This has made me paranoid and I check and check the work compulsively until I waste a ton of time.<efe> <rs>Any tips that you have found useful to help to cope with carelessness? <re> <rs>Would appreciate any advice and tips.<re> <rs>I'm not sure which aspect of ADHD is this either so some insight is required.<re>
| 2 | 1 | 2 | null | null |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
how your adhd symptoms make you feel
| null | null | null | true | 212 |
em5bsn
|
Emotional as fuck
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1a
|
rant
| 1 |
I should probably mention that I did have my first panic attack two days ago and I got so scared that I called paramedics and went to the ER.
I'm trying to figure out though why I'm so emotional though.
So I stopped doing drugs 2 weeks ago. I stopped drinking 4 days ago because I relapsed. Anyways, I've noticed that I'm super emotional. Anything remotely sad on TV and tears start rolling down my face and I catch myself sobbing. Also, when I think about something sad same thing happens. Like wtf!? Am I having a nervous break? I never experienced anything like this before. I am sort more depressed than the usual I guess but this is a bit too much.
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wir3dshut
| 1 | 0 | 5 |
2020-01-09 05:38:15
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addiction
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<es>I should probably mention that I did have my first panic attack two days ago and I got so scared that I called paramedics and went to the ER.<ee> <es>I'm trying to figure out though why I'm so emotional though.<ee> <es>So I stopped doing drugs 2 weeks ago.<ee> <es>I stopped drinking 4 days ago because I relapsed.<ee> <efs>Anyways, I've noticed that I'm super emotional.<efe> <efs>Anything remotely sad on TV and tears start rolling down my face and I catch myself sobbing.<efe> <efs>Also, when I think about something sad same thing happens.<efe> Like wtf!? <rs>Am I having a nervous break?<re> <es>I never experienced anything like this before.<ee> <efs>I am sort more depressed than the usual I guess but this is a bit too much.<efe>
| 2 | 2 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
|
stopping drugs makes you emotional
| null | true | 220 |
eib3yr
|
parents suck
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1b
|
rant
| 2 |
I’m very easily agitated because if my depression, which doesn’t really affect me except for with my family. I’m not annoyed at my friends, they could do almost everything, but if my family even looks at me the wrong way it sets me off. My usual reaction is to just go to my room, to avoid conflict (because my parents always get really mad when I’m annoyed), which might make them even more mad, because they ‘don’t see me as much as they used to’. Basically I can’t do it right in this situation, because if I avoid it they get mad and if I don’t avoid it they also get mad, and their solution is to just ‘not be annoyed as much’, which really can’t be done.
On new years eve (of all eves) my dad (again) got really mad at me. Threatened to throw me out of the house we’re currently in and spent the night outside (we’re on a ski vacation, it get’s below -15°C here at night). Said I have to go to therapy for being annoyed (I’ve went to therapy before, it really did not work for me). My mother joined in and asked why I couldn’t just be a normal child. So yeah, I spend the first few hours of this new decade crying.
|
suckmitosis_
| 1 | 0 | 2 |
2020-01-01 00:08:24
|
depression
|
<es>I’m very easily agitated because if my depression, which doesn’t really affect me except for with my family.<ee> <es>I’m not annoyed at my friends, they could do almost everything, but if my family even looks at me the wrong way it sets me off.<ee> <efs>My usual reaction is to just go to my room, to avoid conflict (because my parents always get really mad when I’m annoyed), which might make them even more mad, because they ‘don’t see me as much as they used to’.<efe> <es>Basically I can’t do it right in this situation, because if I avoid it they get mad and if I don’t avoid it they also get mad, and their solution is to just ‘not be annoyed as much’, which really can’t be done.<ee> <es>On new years eve (of all eves) my dad (again) got really mad at me.<ee> <es>Threatened to throw me out of the house we’re currently in and spent the night outside (we’re on a ski vacation, it get’s below -15°C here at night).<ee> <es>Said I have to go to therapy for being annoyed (I’ve went to therapy before, it really did not work for me).<ee> <es>My mother joined in and asked why I couldn’t just be a normal child.<ee> <efs>So yeah, I spend the first few hours of this new decade crying.<efe>
| 2 | 1 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
how your family makes you feel
|
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you feel so agitated and annoyed by your family
| null | true | 210 |
eoue7u
|
Scared
|
1a
|
rant
| 1 |
I don't know what to do. I have to be strong and I have to be good for my family. But I'm not good enough for this. My family needs me to be good. My sister just had a baby. I finally have a girlfriend that loves me. I'm 23 and haven't had a single girlfriend since I was 13. I get so drunk so often. I don't know what to do. I'm not a hero. I'm a crazy loser. But I need to be there for my girlfriend and for my nephew. I want to make it through. I want my life to be a positive impact on the people I love. I need help so badly. I can't give up on them, I have to be a man and it's so hard to try and be that for them. I don't know what to do.
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Chadamis2
| 1 | 0 | 4 |
2020-01-15 00:30:17
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alcoholicsanonymous
|
<efs>Scared <efe> <es>I don't know what to do.<ee> <es>I have to be strong and I have to be good for my family.<ee> <es>But I'm not good enough for this.<ee> <rs>My family needs me to be good.<re> <es>My sister just had a baby.<ee> <es>I finally have a girlfriend that loves me.<ee> <es>I'm 23 and haven't had a single girlfriend since I was 13.<ee> <es>I get so drunk so often.<ee> <es>I don't know what to do.<ee> <es>I'm not a hero.<ee> <es>I'm a crazy loser.<ee> <rs>But I need to be there for my girlfriend and for my nephew.<re> <rs>I want to make it through.<re> <rs>I want my life to be a positive impact on the people I love.<re> <rs>I need help so badly.<re> <rs>I can't give up on them, I have to be a man and it's so hard to try and be that for them.<re> <es>I don't know what to do.<ee>
| 2 | 1 | 2 | null | null |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
how being drunk makes you feel
| null | null | null | true | 212 |
eo1auj
|
Daily reflections
|
0
|
chitchat
| 2 |
13
January
IT DOESN'T HAPPEN OVERNIGHT
We are not cured of alcoholism. What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition.
— ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 85
The most common alcoholic fantasy seems to be: "If I just don't drink, everything will be all right." Once the fog cleared for me, I saw—for the first time—the mess my life had become. I had family, work, financial and legal problems; I was hung up on old religious ideas; there were sides of my character to which I was inclined to stay blind because they easily could have convinced me that I was hopeless and pushed me toward escape again. The Big Book guided me in resolving all of my problems. But it didn't happen overnight—and certainly not automatically—with no effort on my part. I need always to recognize God's mercy and blessings that shine through any problem I have to face
|
titclamp
| 1 | 0 | 1 |
2020-01-13 08:11:34
|
alcoholicsanonymous
|
13 January IT DOESN'T HAPPEN OVERNIGHT We are not cured of alcoholism. What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition. — ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 85 The most common alcoholic fantasy seems to be: "If I just don't drink, everything will be all right." Once the fog cleared for me, I saw—for the first time—the mess my life had become. I had family, work, financial and legal problems; I was hung up on old religious ideas; there were sides of my character to which I was inclined to stay blind because they easily could have convinced me that I was hopeless and pushed me toward escape again. The Big Book guided me in resolving all of my problems. But it didn't happen overnight—and certainly not automatically—with no effort on my part. I need always to recognize God's mercy and blessings that shine through any problem I have to face
| 0 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
random
| true | 0 |
eil8yd
|
I want friends so bad but people don’t like me..
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 1 |
I want people to hangout with and friends so bad. I’ve never been a popular person. I have bpd and my personality is just awful. I try to mask who I am and act likable but it never works. I wish I were someone, anyone else. :(
|
peanutbutterbananaaa
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
2020-01-01 17:56:14
|
socialanxiety
|
<rs>I want people to hangout with and friends so bad.<re> I’ve never been a popular person. <es>I have bpd and my personality is just awful.<ee> <efs>I try to mask who I am and act likable but it never works.<efe> <rs>I wish I were someone, anyone else.<re> :(
| 1 | 1 | 2 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
acting likable
| null | null | null | true | 112 |
eil0vj
|
I just feel like giving up.
|
1b
|
rant
| 2 |
I have gone through multiple assaults so I thought I had enough experience to avoid this.
Last night I was invited downtown for New Years Eve. I was
pretty drunk but not heavily. My friend left. I didn't call an Uber b/c the rate was around $100. So I waited until it went down.
This guy I made friends with who I thought was gay hung out with me. At no point did I come on to him. Like ZERO.
He said he was getting a hotel and I could hang there.
At the hotel he kept trying to touch me and rub up on me. I said to stop and he kept doing it b/c he probably thought I was too drunk to notice. I keep remembering the feeling of his hard you know what on my body.
I've been raped in a hotel room a few years ago so I was afraid and I told him I lift weights and could kick his ass kindly. I arm wrestled him to show I was stronger lol.
At 4AM Uber prices were around $20 so I left and he was upset saying "but I got this expensive hotel". I just told him I didn't ask him to do that.
I wake up to a message from him saying happy new year friend with hear eye emojis.
I feel like I'm done. This was my last attempt going out drinking.
I feel disgusting. Like no one cares about my feelings nor shows respect for my right over my body. I've been trying to go out and make friends...because I've been alone alot.
I can't talk to anyone about it and I'm just feeling alone.
|
TreeFucker5000
| 1 | 0 | 6 |
2020-01-01 17:38:59
|
rapecounseling
|
I have gone through multiple assaults so I thought I had enough experience to avoid this. <es>Last night I was invited downtown for New Years Eve.<ee> <es>I was pretty drunk but not heavily.<ee> <es>My friend left.<ee> <es>I didn't call an Uber b/c the rate was around $100.<ee> <es>So I waited until it went down.<ee> <es>This guy I made friends with who I thought was gay hung out with me. <ee><es>At no point did I come on to him.<ee> <es>Like ZERO.<ee> <es>He said he was getting a hotel and I could hang there.<ee> <es>At the hotel he kept trying to touch me and rub up on me.<ee> <es>I said to stop and he kept doing it b/c he probably thought I was too drunk to notice.<ee> <es>I keep remembering the feeling of his hard you know what on my body.<ee> <efs>I've been raped in a hotel room a few years ago so I was afraid and I told him I lift weights and could kick his ass kindly.<efe> <es>I arm wrestled him to show I was stronger lol.<ee> <es>At 4AM Uber prices were around $20 so I left and he was upset saying "but I got this expensive hotel".<ee> <es>I just told him I didn't ask him to do that.<ee> <es>I wake up to a message from him saying happy new year friend with hear eye emojis.<ee> <efs>I feel like I'm done.<efe> <es>This was my last attempt going out drinking.<ee> <efs>I feel disgusting.<efe> <es>Like no one cares about my feelings nor shows respect for my right over my body.<ee> <es>I've been trying to go out and make friends...because I've been alone alot.<ee> <es>I can't talk to anyone about it and I'm just feeling alone.<ee>
| 2 | 2 | 0 | null | null | null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you feel alone and disgusted by the guy's actions
| null | true | 220 |
f1gt78
|
Lost control and hit myself again and I feel so ashamed
|
1a
|
rant
| 1 |
I'm so tired of being unable to control myself when I'm angry.
I lost it at my mother twice in the past two days, screaming at her and hitting myself so much that I left bruises on my face. I told her "I'm seriously past my limit and feel like screaming and hitting myself" before it happened to try to make her understand I was in a bad place, but I ended up doing it anyway.
I feel so ashamed of myself and so worthless when I'm unable to stop myself from reaching this point. I'm in my forties now and it's past time for me to have control over myself and my emotions. I'm so afraid I'll be like this forever.
|
Konyasoara
| 1 | 0 | 6 |
2020-02-09 23:01:49
|
Anger
|
<efs>I'm so tired of being unable to control myself when I'm angry. <efe> <es>I lost it at my mother twice in the past two days, screaming at her and hitting myself so much that I left bruises on my face.<ee> <es>I told her "I'm seriously past my limit and feel like screaming and hitting myself" before it happened to try to make her understand I was in a bad place, but I ended up doing it anyway.<ee> <efs>I feel so ashamed of myself and so worthless when I'm unable to stop myself from reaching this point.<efe> <rs>I'm in my forties now and it's past time for me to have control over myself and my emotions.<re> <efs>I'm so afraid I'll be like this forever.<efe>
| 2 | 2 | 1 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
what would help control your emotions
| null | true | 221 |
eiupna
|
Going out to a club this Friday - challenging my anxiety head on
|
0
|
help-seeking
| 2 |
Hi everyone! I’ve always gone on reddit forums about anxiety to feel less alone and I’ve finally made an account to share my story and join the community.
My anxiety and panic started 2 years ago, I suddenly got really sick with a virus and landed in the hospital. My life changed forever from that day on. I started to not eat developing a anxiety induced eating disorder, I was hospitalized for 2 months, and once I got out I couldn’t leave the house because I had this fear that I would get sick and have a panic attack. I was so scared to eat because I was scared to get sick from the food.
Moving on now I’ve drastically better then I was before, I’m able to leave my house to go to the drs and I also left my house to go out for coffee with my sister yesterday and I was completely fine (this is something I would never do a while back) before this all occurred I was a social butterfly, I constantly wanted to go out and enjoy times with friends. I just want to get back to my old self, it’s like I’m jealous of my old personality. I’m 18 now and I want my life back so bad.
My bestfriend is having a birthday party on Friday, at a hotel then a club, Im a bit nervous to go, my mindset is positive, I want to do this because I think it’s the push I need, I used to give in to my anxiety all the time and it hadn’t help so now I want to challenge it.
Does anyone in the community have any advice for what to do when I feel an anxiety attack coming on? My comfort zone is having my sister come with me so I have an escape if needed. Im so nervous and I really hope I go through with this
|
lola818
| 1 | 0 | 1 |
2020-01-02 06:41:44
|
Anxiety
|
Hi everyone! I’ve always gone on reddit forums about anxiety to feel less alone and I’ve finally made an account to share my story and join the community. <es>My anxiety and panic started 2 years ago, I suddenly got really sick with a virus and landed in the hospital.<ee> <es>My life changed forever from that day on.<ee> <es>I started to not eat developing a anxiety induced eating disorder, I was hospitalized for 2 months, and once I got out I couldn’t leave the house because I had this fear that I would get sick and have a panic attack.<ee> <es>I was so scared to eat because I was scared to get sick from the food.<ee> <es>Moving on now I’ve drastically better then I was before, I’m able to leave my house to go to the drs and I also left my house to go out for coffee with my sister yesterday and I was completely fine (this is something I would never do a while back) before this all occurred I was a social butterfly, I constantly wanted to go out and enjoy times with friends.<ee> <rs>I just want to get back to my old self, it’s like I’m jealous of my old personality.<re> <rs>I’m 18 now and I want my life back so bad. <re> <es>My bestfriend is having a birthday party on Friday, at a hotel then a club, Im a bit nervous to go, my mindset is positive, I want to do this because I think it’s the push I need, I used to give in to my anxiety all the time and it hadn’t help so now I want to challenge it. <ee> <rs>Does anyone in the community have any advice for what to do when I feel an anxiety attack coming on?<re> <es>My comfort zone is having my sister come with me so I have an escape if needed.<ee> <efs>Im so nervous and I really hope I go through with this<efe>
| 2 | 2 | 2 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 222 |
ej382i
|
Most hardhitting thing I’ve heard re. BPD: “We may not know who we are without someone else’s influence.”
|
0
|
rant
| 1 |
I’ve honestly never heard anything to describe myself better. And it’s ironic that the one thing that describes me the best comes from someone else LOL.
|
SadRadDad69
| 277 | 0 | 54 |
2020-01-02 19:53:11
|
BPD
|
I’ve honestly never heard anything to describe myself better. And it’s ironic that the one thing that describes me the best comes from someone else LOL.
| 0 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 0 |
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