sub_id
string | title
string | Criticism
string | Intent
string | Readability
int64 | body
string | author
string | score
int64 | awards
int64 | numComms
int64 | created
string | subreddit
string | annotated_post_body
string | ES
int64 | EFS
int64 | RS
int64 | EMaskingQ
string | EMask
string | EFSMaskingQ
string | EFSMask
string | RMaskingQ
string | RMask
string | Comments
string | Annotated
bool | label_combination
int64 |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
ei9oul
|
how do you deal with sweating caused by stimulant medications?
|
0
|
help-seeking
| 1 |
TLDR: title
I'm a normal person with normal, appropriate hygiene habits. But despite this, I still had to wash my underarms in the restroom today at work due to the excessive sweating adderall causes.
I've been on it for awhile, and can usually deal with it, but it's just gone into overdrive recently for some reason.
Tips?
|
BR1GHTBL4CK
| 1 | 0 | 5 |
2019-12-31 22:14:30
|
ADHD
|
TLDR: title <es>I'm a normal person with normal, appropriate hygiene habits.<ee> <es>But despite this, I still had to wash my underarms in the restroom today at work due to the excessive sweating adderall causes. <ee> <es>I've been on it for awhile, and can usually deal with it, but it's just gone into overdrive recently for some reason.<ee> <rs>Tips?<re>
| 2 | 0 | 1 | null | null |
How did X make you feel?
|
taking adderall
|
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
what would help control the excessive sweating
| null | true | 201 |
ejirxc
|
Relationships and PTSD
|
1b
|
rant
| 2 |
I am going through a breakup or break with my girlfriend right now. She told me I was going to break and that I needed to find myself because she thought I didn’t know how I was. But during our relationship I had started going to therapy and got my diagnosis. I feel betrayed that she would leave when I just started to make progress with things. I was in a bad place because I was dealing with things from my past and I realize that I was trying to get her to communicate with me, as I was communicating things to the therapist. That put unnecessary strain on our relationship and I didn’t see that till it was too late. I had found her with another guy early in our relationship and I tried to work through it with her. But we never really takes about it and later when I brought up to my therapist she suggested talking to her. I talked to her. And I found myself bringing it up more often because it never felt resolved. I was hurt that she lied and I felt like a tool at her disposal. After what happened I stuck with her and tried to look past it but it still bothered me. When she decided that she wanted to go on a break and then break up, I was confused on what she wanted and I still am. She told me I was gonna break and that she was tired of having to for worry for anybody anymore. And that made me feel like all the progress I had made this year didn’t mean anything. That she didn’t care about the fact I was trying to understand everything that happened. I was going to therapy, trying to understand all the lost pieces of myself and forgive my past. But all she saw was someone on the verge of self destructing. And it crushes me. I don’t know what to do.
|
givemeyourcereal1
| 1 | 0 | 6 |
2020-01-03 17:41:26
|
ptsd
|
<es>I am going through a breakup or break with my girlfriend right now.<ee> <es>She told me I was going to break and that I needed to find myself because she thought I didn’t know how I was.<ee> <es>But during our relationship I had started going to therapy and got my diagnosis.<ee> <efs>I feel betrayed that she would leave when I just started to make progress with things.<efe> <es>I was in a bad place because I was dealing with things from my past and I realize that I was trying to get her to communicate with me, as I was communicating things to the therapist. <ee><es>That put unnecessary strain on our relationship and I didn’t see that till it was too late.<ee> <es>I had found her with another guy early in our relationship and I tried to work through it with her.<ee> <es>But we never really takes about it and later when I brought up to my therapist she suggested talking to her.<ee> <es>I talked to her.<ee> <es>And I found myself bringing it up more often because it never felt resolved.<ee> <efs>I was hurt that she lied and I felt like a tool at her disposal.<efe> <es>After what happened I stuck with her and tried to look past it but it still bothered me.<ee> <es>When she decided that she wanted to go on a break and then break up, I was confused on what she wanted and I still am.<ee> <es>She told me I was gonna break and that she was tired of having to for worry for anybody anymore.<ee> <efs>And that made me feel like all the progress I had made this year didn’t mean anything.<efe> <es>That she didn’t care about the fact I was trying to understand everything that happened.<ee> <es>I was going to therapy, trying to understand all the lost pieces of myself and forgive my past.<ee> <es>But all she saw was someone on the verge of self destructing.<ee> <es>And it crushes me.<ee> I don’t know what to do.
| 2 | 2 | 0 | null | null | null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you feel betrayed by your girlfriend
| null | true | 220 |
ejvasf
|
Love/Connection and its relationship to Addiction
|
1a
|
survey
| 2 |
I am curious what people think, of Love / connection and its relationship to addiction. I am not simply referring to just with others, i also mean Self Love / self acceptance
I feel, and i dont think its just me, that there is a big correlation of being unable to connect and relate in this world, and in turn why we seek out soothing addictions?
I know that is simplistic, and as someone with cPTSD, i know the links between trauma and other issues, but beyond all that, i wonder if love is a big part of the answer? and if so, how does that connect
thoughts?
|
mjobby
| 1 | 0 | 10 |
2020-01-04 10:54:17
|
addiction
|
I am curious what people think, of Love / connection and its relationship to addiction. I am not simply referring to just with others, i also mean Self Love / self acceptance I feel, and i dont think its just me, that there is a big correlation of being unable to connect and relate in this world, and in turn why we seek out soothing addictions? I know that is simplistic, and as someone with cPTSD, i know the links between trauma and other issues, but beyond all that, i wonder if love is a big part of the answer? and if so, how does that connect thoughts?
| 0 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
random
| true | 0 |
ej91ga
|
Just found out my mums shooting up again
|
1b
|
help-seeking
| 3 |
Not sure if this belongs here - About 6 years ago i (f24) helped my mum get clean and helped her move interstate with my brothers to start afresh. My brothers were good and in school, mum was clean and working, so off i went to do my own thing. I live on the other side of the country to my family and after almost 5 years of not seeing them due to financial issues I finally saved up enough to see them for christmas. I have 3 brothers (age 12 to 16) and then theres my mum. Ive seen her on meth in the past so i know what shes like on it. Its the 3rd week now she been on it, and i know when she does it and everything. Disappears into the bathroom for 20 minutes and comes out with her little black pencil case thing. I know she injects cause I've found the damn needles on a thorough search and its how she used to do it too. She makes plans with us kids but then comes home and starts turning the house upside down cleaning instead. Shes not going to work as much or for as long as she should be (taxi driver). She still sleeps every night, but is back on it from 6am the next morning. My eldest brother told me she regularly asks him for money and she does the same with me. I just dont know what to do. My brothers dont have a dad and I live in a share house with 4 housemates, I work part time and study part time i can't afford 3 kids, and I live 4000ks away from where my family live. I dont want them going into foster care, my aunty and nanna both past this year so theres no other family. I tried to talk to mum about it all but she just got aggressive and told me i "need to get off my high horse". Do I just leave this be and hope for the best? I dont know what to do, its weighing heavily on my shoulders and every day I feel worse about it because I have no fucking idea what to do or where to even start with this shit.
|
sh0nnelle
| 7 | 0 | 12 |
2020-01-03 02:55:13
|
addiction
|
<es>Not sure if this belongs here - About 6 years ago i (f24) helped my mum get clean and helped her move interstate with my brothers to start afresh.<ee> <es>My brothers were good and in school, mum was clean and working, so off i went to do my own thing.<ee> <es>I live on the other side of the country to my family and after almost 5 years of not seeing them due to financial issues I finally saved up enough to see them for christmas.<ee> I have 3 brothers (age 12 to 16) and then theres my mum. Ive seen her on meth in the past so i know what shes like on it. <es>Its the 3rd week now she been on it, and i know when she does it and everything.<ee> <es>Disappears into the bathroom for 20 minutes and comes out with her little black pencil case thing.<ee> <es>I know she injects cause I've found the damn needles on a thorough search and its how she used to do it too.<ee> <es>She makes plans with us kids but then comes home and starts turning the house upside down cleaning instead.<ee> Shes not going to work as much or for as long as she should be (taxi driver). <es>She still sleeps every night, but is back on it from 6am the next morning.<ee> <es>My eldest brother told me she regularly asks him for money and she does the same with me.<ee> I just dont know what to do. <es>My brothers dont have a dad and I live in a share house with 4 housemates, I work part time and study part time i can't afford 3 kids, and I live 4000ks away from where my family live.<ee> I dont want them going into foster care, my aunty and nanna both past this year so theres no other family. <es>I tried to talk to mum about it all but she just got aggressive and told me i "need to get off my high horse".<ee> <rs>Do I just leave this be and hope for the best?<re> <efs>I dont know what to do, its weighing heavily on my shoulders and every day I feel worse about it because I have no fucking idea what to do or where to even start with this shit.<efe>
| 2 | 1 | 1 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
how you feel about your mom's addiction
|
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
what would help cure your mom's addiction
| null | true | 211 |
ek9bal
|
@DelmanSad
|
0
|
chitchat
| 3 | null |
livinhell456456564
| 5 | 0 | 0 |
2020-01-05 06:28:25
|
sad
| null | 0 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
random
| true | 0 |
ek52yr
|
I had a really (really) bad day
|
1a
|
rant
| 1 |
I promised myself I would kick my anxiety's ass in 2020, but here I am, crying on the floor again.
I basically ran away crying from a huge event I signed up for (for some godforsaken reason) because it was so overwhelming, fucking hell it was so embarrassing! The last thing I want is to draw attention to myself and make a scene in these situations, but people just don't get that
My dad thinks the reason I ran away is because I'm a snob, and he probably told that to the people there...
I'm going crazy thinking about all of their opinions about me now,,
Why do we care about what everyone thinks when they don't even care about us?
Anyways, I feel like I'll never be happy because no matter what, my brain will always keep torturing me.
But those are just feelings right? I have no idea what my future holds, I'll probably just turn out okay in the end. You will too.
Just needed to vent. I'm sorry anyone who read this
|
MayaDC
| 16 | 0 | 21 |
2020-01-05 00:21:22
|
socialanxiety
|
<es>I promised myself I would kick my anxiety's ass in 2020, but here I am, crying on the floor again.<ee> <es>I basically ran away crying from a huge event I signed up for (for some godforsaken reason) because it was so overwhelming, fucking hell it was so embarrassing!<ee> <es>The last thing I want is to draw attention to myself and make a scene in these situations, but people just don't get that<ee> <es>My dad thinks the reason I ran away is because I'm a snob, and he probably told that to the people there...<ee> <efs>I'm going crazy thinking about all of their opinions about me now,,<efe> Why do we care about what everyone thinks when they don't even care about us? <efs>Anyways, I feel like I'll never be happy because no matter what, my brain will always keep torturing me.<efe> But those are just feelings right? I have no idea what my future holds, I'll probably just turn out okay in the end. You will too. Just needed to vent. I'm sorry anyone who read this
| 1 | 1 | 0 |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
what made you anxious
|
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
how the event made you feel
|
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you are unhappy due to anxiety
| null | true | 110 |
eokdoe
|
I keep having extreme anger episodes that are impossible to control [M16]
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 1 |
Hey,
Ive been having huge rage outbursts every couple months for the last maybe 8 years. It often stems from nothing but sometimes it’s from an event that would make anyone upset (like a breakup).
It usually happens on a whim, like a sudden burst of adrenaline and then I just get a laser like focus on whatever is making me angry. An example of this:
I was sparring with some friends at a mates house a few years ago, just some friendly fighting, fun stuff. I was losing badly to this guy who kept jabbing me and just pissing me off. Towards the end of the sparring match I just lost it and couldn’t control myself, and ended up going too far and really hurting him.
Sometimes however, I just get so badly angry that I violently shake and scream under my breath, or yank at my hair and feel just weak and like I want to rip my hair out but im not at all violent towards others.
I was wondering if anybody had any idea about what could be going on, or if anybody else experiences something similar.
|
shshxbfnrpwpzmz
| 1 | 0 | 5 |
2020-01-14 12:03:26
|
mentalillness
|
Hey, Ive been having huge rage outbursts every couple months for the last maybe 8 years. It often stems from nothing but sometimes it’s from an event that would make anyone upset (like a breakup). It usually happens on a whim, like a sudden burst of adrenaline and then I just get a laser like focus on whatever is making me angry. An example of this: I was sparring with some friends at a mates house a few years ago, just some friendly fighting, fun stuff. I was losing badly to this guy who kept jabbing me and just pissing me off. Towards the end of the sparring match I just lost it and couldn’t control myself, and ended up going too far and really hurting him. Sometimes however, I just get so badly angry that I violently shake and scream under my breath, or yank at my hair and feel just weak and like I want to rip my hair out but im not at all violent towards others. I was wondering if anybody had any idea about what could be going on, or if anybody else experiences something similar.
| 2 | 1 | 2 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
how your rage outburst make you feel
| null | null | null | true | 212 |
eiml9q
|
1/1/20 check in
|
0
|
chitchat
| 1 |
Happy new year cunts
|
Dirty_D_Damnit
| 1 | 0 | 9 |
2020-01-01 19:37:27
|
OpiatesRecovery
|
Happy new year cunts
| 0 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
random
| true | 0 |
eixrrl
|
I want to kick SA in the butt this year!
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 2 |
Possibly a long rant?
I’ve always been shy. I got diagnosed with Social Anxiety in Collage and have been on medication since. I’ve only been on Prozac 20mg (got very tired on 40mg over the summer) and Propanlo 10mg and I feel they are both semi working. I still get very nervous around new people and get sweaty hands. I can only describe this SA as anxiety and an adrenaline rush combined. I’ve tried CBT and am still in the process of complete it plus reading the book.
I currently work but it’s a temp job for now since my previous one was way too overwhelmed that it was harming my health.
I’m seeing my doctor again in a week to discuss the possibility of a new medication. Or maybe going to 40mg- I’m only saying this because I tolerate Prozac well but that dosage made me very tired. This SA is not the true me, I know I have more to offer to the World. I’m willing to work and ready to kick this SA in the butt!
|
ScienceLover89
| 1 | 0 | 1 |
2020-01-02 12:41:44
|
socialanxiety
|
Possibly a long rant? I’ve always been shy. I got diagnosed with Social Anxiety in Collage and have been on medication since. I’ve only been on Prozac 20mg (got very tired on 40mg over the summer) and Propanlo 10mg and I feel they are both semi working. I still get very nervous around new people and get sweaty hands. I can only describe this SA as anxiety and an adrenaline rush combined. I’ve tried CBT and am still in the process of complete it plus reading the book. I currently work but it’s a temp job for now since my previous one was way too overwhelmed that it was harming my health. I’m seeing my doctor again in a week to discuss the possibility of a new medication. Or maybe going to 40mg- I’m only saying this because I tolerate Prozac well but that dosage made me very tired. This SA is not the true me, I know I have more to offer to the World. I’m willing to work and ready to kick this SA in the butt!
| 0 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
random
| true | 0 |
eiz3hu
|
Does anyone find medication helpful? If so what does it help with?
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 2 |
I'm drowning in anxiety and depression as of late these two problems are my biggest problem... I'm exhausted from trying to manage my anxiety and depression as well as the issues that my family is dealing with and I am at the end of my rope. I need help now with medication since I have been trying to go through this without having to be dependent on any medication.
I can't take any benzodiazepines due to problems with dependance on them in the past. I ABSOLUTELY loved them and feeling that I didn't have a care in the world was such an amazing place to live, especially since I have lived in the mental illness world for years and I felt free but I knew for my kids that they were not good for me because I needed to be in my right mind around my boys... so, they had to go.
I just want to know if there is any medication out there that helps me with anxiety and my rollercoaster BPD symptoms. Please help me out with some feedback on your experience with medication.
I really don't want to be on any but, my husband and my family in general are telling me that I need to get some kind of help with meds.
|
Bimmergirl86
| 1 | 0 | 14 |
2020-01-02 14:48:02
|
BPD
|
<es>I'm drowning in anxiety and depression as of late these two problems are my biggest problem...<ee> <efs>I'm exhausted from trying to manage my anxiety and depression as well as the issues that my family is dealing with and I am at the end of my rope.<efe> <rs>I need help now with medication since I have been trying to go through this without having to be dependent on any medication.<re> <es>I can't take any benzodiazepines due to problems with dependance on them in the past.<ee> <efs>I ABSOLUTELY loved them and feeling that I didn't have a care in the world was such an amazing place to live, especially since I have lived in the mental illness world for years and I felt free but I knew for my kids that they were not good for me because I needed to be in my right mind around my boys... so, they had to go. <efe> <rs>I just want to know if there is any medication out there that helps me with anxiety and my rollercoaster BPD symptoms.<re> <rs>Please help me out with some feedback on your experience with medication. <re> <es>I really don't want to be on any but, my husband and my family in general are telling me that I need to get some kind of help with meds.<ee>
| 2 | 2 | 2 | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 222 |
en1q0h
|
[23F] What makes you feel better after a flashback?
|
0
|
help-seeking
| 1 |
Hi everyone,
I am 23 and the main trauma that gives me flashbacks is my abusive relationship. I have got myself into a real state with an emotional flashback to the day I tried to commit suicide. I just kept remembering how sad I was and how horrible it was and I couldn't stop crying. It's 2.52am and I want to go get some fresh air and make some tea but I'm scared I'll wake my parents. they know about my ptsd but it is still difficult to understand. I feel very scared and very alone, I want to wake my mum up really but I shouldn't. Does anyone have any tips or tricks that will make me feel more safe and human again?
|
Suspicious_Arachnid
| 1 | 0 | 2 |
2020-01-11 02:53:40
|
ptsd
|
Hi everyone, <es>I am 23 and the main trauma that gives me flashbacks is my abusive relationship.<ee> <es>I have got myself into a real state with an emotional flashback to the day I tried to commit suicide.<ee> <efs>I just kept remembering how sad I was and how horrible it was and I couldn't stop crying.<efe> <efs>It's 2.52am and I want to go get some fresh air and make some tea but I'm scared I'll wake my parents. they know about my ptsd but it is still difficult to understand.<efe> <efs>I feel very scared and very alone, I want to wake my mum up really but I shouldn't.<efe> <rs>Does anyone have any tips or tricks that will make me feel more safe and human again?<re>
| 2 | 2 | 2 | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 222 |
eigbh6
|
Hang in there guys...
|
0
|
chitchat
| 1 |
20/20
|
sortadark
| 1 | 0 | 2 |
2020-01-01 08:54:22
|
BPD
|
20/20
| 0 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
random
| true | 0 |
ejkwa6
|
My parent keeps using my I.D./forcing me to get controlled substances (bronchaid) for her at the pharmacy because hers is blacklisted.
|
1b
|
help-seeking
| 1 |
I don’t really know how I am supposed to say no without facing large consequences. Everyone else in my family is made to do the same and won’t tell her no because they know that she will retaliate. I just want help; can I call the pharmacy and tell them to blacklist my I.D.? Please help me. I can’t do this anymore.
|
moldyskittles
| 1 | 0 | 4 |
2020-01-03 20:06:51
|
addiction
|
I don’t really know how I am supposed to say no without facing large consequences. Everyone else in my family is made to do the same and won’t tell her no because they know that she will retaliate. I just want help; can I call the pharmacy and tell them to blacklist my I.D.? Please help me. I can’t do this anymore.
| 2 | 0 | 2 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null |
How did X make you feel?
|
your parent's asking to use you ID
| null | null |
title
| true | 202 |
ekjrp6
|
So this happened to me earlier.. ( my crush btw)
|
0
|
rant
| 1 | null |
Harildd
| 1 | 0 | 6 |
2020-01-05 22:04:56
|
sad
| null | 0 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 0 |
ei96di
|
Mental anguish from the important things
|
1b
|
help-seeking
| 2 |
Hi all! I hope everybody is hanging in there.
So I have a very specific issue that I really don't know how to address.
I'm a cartoonist and I have a webcomic that I work on with my ex and a patreon [basically a way fans can donate money to support me] based on said comic. Thing is... this comic brings me a lot of mental anguish. My ex was a nightmare to work with and I noticed everytime I attempt to draw it again, I'm haunted by his lectures and screaming. I've put the comic on hiatus and the patreon has gone quiet.. but is this it? Do I just.. give up? I guess I'm looking for advice on how to manage getting through this. I like drawing still, but this project makes me so unhappy to work on. It seems unprofessional to tell my fans the true reason I've gone ghost but I don't know.
Thanks for your time. Happy new year, good say, and good mental health ❤
|
nalem
| 1 | 0 | 10 |
2019-12-31 21:33:02
|
depression
|
Hi all! I hope everybody is hanging in there. So I have a very specific issue that I really don't know how to address. I'm a cartoonist and I have a webcomic that I work on with my ex and a patreon [basically a way fans can donate money to support me] based on said comic. <es>Thing is... this comic brings me a lot of mental anguish.<ee> <es><efs>My ex was a nightmare to work with and I noticed everytime I attempt to draw it again, I'm haunted by his lectures and screaming.<efe><ee> I've put the comic on hiatus and the patreon has gone quiet.. but is this it? Do I just.. give up? <rs>I guess I'm looking for advice on how to manage getting through this.<re> <efs>I like drawing still, but this project makes me so unhappy to work on.<efe> It seems unprofessional to tell my fans the true reason I've gone ghost but I don't know. Thanks for your time. Happy new year, good say, and good mental health ❤
| 2 | 2 | 1 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
what kind of advice would help you
| null | true | 221 |
f6j2fk
|
Today was one of my worst.
|
1b
|
rant
| 3 |
Long story so strap in.
I have a choir teacher, he sucks at choir teaching. The class not only doesn’t take him seriously but they disrespect him as a person. I do believe it’s partly our fault (the class) for his (and our) lack of progress.
He has tried many methods to get us to cooperate, all have mostly failed. One day he introduced a work packet that we would do when he inevitably gave up. (He would say “do your packets” and stop class for the rest of the hour) well here’s the kicker: the packets were 80% of our grade, and nobody knew what the fuck they were doing. So all of our grades basically bombed. Well I did the first packet and got my grade to a fricking C- which still sucks, and I went up to him and asked him how to get my grade up. (1 month ago)
Wanna know what this wanker said?
“Your grade will improve when the class behavior improves”
Fuck you.
Fuck.
You.
My grade was reliant on the classes ability to work, which was damn near impossible. I will also add that I 90% of the time was not the problem. I’ve never been sent out of class for disruptive behavior, 18 others have though.
So I was already pissed off with this guy and didn’t have any respect left for him after that.
*cut to today*
I finish the homework he assigns, I have all my other classes finished. So I pull out my phone to do a quick (yes really) check of my notif’s for reddit. (2 minutes flat) Now to stop right here I know what I did was wrong, I should not have opened my phone. But I did.
So he sees me and demands I give him my phone, and I comply begrudgingly. And later two fellas are running around the classroom. Bump the table and knock my phone on the floor. So I was like “screw this my phone is gonna get fucked” and get up and grab my phone. (Another mistake). The teacher sees me and instead of punishing the kids running AND me. IM THE ONLY ONE WHO GOT PUNISHED. He took my phone again! This is where my temper boiled over. I had a bag with a school issued iPad in it (I paid for insurance) and a really nice Contigo water bottle. Fuck me, I pounded the bag as hard as I could on the floor, clenched my fists as the bag made a loud bang and sat there trying not to throw a chair. (Biggest mistake throwing that bag) The teacher looks at me, doesn’t say Jack shit and just carries on.
The IPad was totaled and a 4 inch dent is in my 35 dollar water bottle.
To be fair I am very fuckin scary when I’m on defcon 5 level of angry. So I went to the school counselor office and vented to her and told her what happened.
And cried like a bitch.
End of story.
So to summarize my built up anger boiled over and cost me an iPad and a water bottle.
Sorry for such a long post, but I beg of someone to help me find a way to take care of this in a healthy way. I do work out regularly and I’m thinking of finding something to use as a punching bag in my garage.
|
PotaTribune
| 1 | 0 | 8 |
2020-02-19 22:57:37
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Anger
|
Long story so strap in. <es>I have a choir teacher, he sucks at choir teaching.<ee> <Es>The class not only doesn’t take him seriously but they disrespect him as a person.<ee> I do believe it’s partly our fault (the class) for his (and our) lack of progress. <es>He has tried many methods to get us to cooperate, all have mostly failed.<ee> <es>One day he introduced a work packet that we would do when he inevitably gave up.<ee> <es>(He would say “do your packets” and stop class for the rest of the hour) well here’s the kicker: the packets were 80% of our grade, and nobody knew what the fuck they were doing.<ee> <es>So all of our grades basically bombed.<ee> <es>Well I did the first packet and got my grade to a fricking C- which still sucks, and I went up to him and asked him how to get my grade up. (1 month ago)<ee> Wanna know what this wanker said? <es>“Your grade will improve when the class behavior improves”<ee> Fuck you. Fuck. You. <es>My grade was reliant on the classes ability to work, which was damn near impossible.<ee> I will also add that I 90% of the time was not the problem. I’ve never been sent out of class for disruptive behavior, 18 others have though. <es>So I was already pissed off with this guy and didn’t have any respect left for him after that. <ee> *cut to today* <es>I finish the homework he assigns, I have all my other classes finished.<ee> <es>So I pull out my phone to do a quick (yes really) check of my notif’s for reddit.<ee> (2 minutes flat) Now to stop right here I know what I did was wrong, I should not have opened my phone. But I did. <es>So he sees me and demands I give him my phone, and I comply begrudgingly.<ee> <es>And later two fellas are running around the classroom.<ee> <es>Bump the table and knock my phone on the floor.<ee> <es>So I was like “screw this my phone is gonna get fucked” and get up and grab my phone.<ee> (Another mistake). <es>The teacher sees me and instead of punishing the kids running AND me. IM THE ONLY ONE WHO GOT PUNISHED.<ee> <es>He took my phone again!<ee> <es>This is where my temper boiled over.<ee> <es>I had a bag with a school issued iPad in it (I paid for insurance) and a really nice Contigo water bottle.<ee> <es>Fuck me, I pounded the bag as hard as I could on the floor, clenched my fists as the bag made a loud bang and sat there trying not to throw a chair.<ee> (Biggest mistake throwing that bag) <es>The teacher looks at me, doesn’t say Jack shit and just carries on. <ee> <es>The IPad was totaled and a 4 inch dent is in my 35 dollar water bottle.<ee> <es>To be fair I am very fuckin scary when I’m on defcon 5 level of angry.<ee> <es>So I went to the school counselor office and vented to her and told her what happened. <ee> <es>And cried like a bitch.<ee> End of story. <es>So to summarize my built up anger boiled over and cost me an iPad and a water bottle.<ee> <rs>Sorry for such a long post, but I beg of someone to help me find a way to take care of this in a healthy way.<re> I do work out regularly and I’m thinking of finding something to use as a punching bag in my garage.
| 2 | 0 | 2 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null |
How did X make you feel?
|
the anger outburst
| null | null | null | true | 202 |
eihtgx
|
Living with BPD, I've been diagnosed 3 months ago. Need advice.
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1a
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help-seeking
| 2 |
Short life situation: I am 23/M, live alone, have a car and mostly play video games. I never had a GF nor do I have the slightest clue of how to approach someone even through like tinder. Not that I'm anxious, or nervous, I just don't know what to say. On top of that, even though I am straight, I still have much trouble accepting my sexuality and the fact that I want a partner. I see a therapist once a month, though I don't think that's enough.
I'm wondering how you guys are holding up because honestly, now that there are holidays and I have 20 days off work, I feel like crying every day and I would most sincerely drink myself to passing out every day until work starts again. Even though I work in a factory and the job is quite repetitive, and boring, it's still the only thing that keeps me "balanced" per se. Though weekends are still a huge problem.
I honestly am starting to give up on life, had 2 suicide attempts last year (2019), (od-ing on pills), and I see no hope of me ever living a normal life. I feel like I'll just waste away my whole life alone in my room and I have no energy and motivation to do anything about it...
I really need some advice. My life before the diagnosis was a complete wreck which lasted about 2 years. I was always drunk, binge-eating, binge-spending etc. Now not so much, so I've made some progress, but things still look grim.
Did any of you get prescribed any pills? because mine don't seem to be of much help. Maybe except abilify.
I am currently drinking:
Abilify 10mg in morning,
Klonopin .5mg in morning and before sleep
Trazodone 150mg before sleep
and Campral 333mg 3 times a day bcoz I was abusing alcohol.
|
icemacku
| 1 | 0 | 3 |
2020-01-01 12:21:26
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BPD
|
<es>Short life situation: I am 23/M, live alone, have a car and mostly play video games.<ee> <es>I never had a GF nor do I have the slightest clue of how to approach someone even through like tinder.<ee> <es>Not that I'm anxious, or nervous, I just don't know what to say.<ee> <es>On top of that, even though I am straight, I still have much trouble accepting my sexuality and the fact that I want a partner.<ee> <es>I see a therapist once a month, though I don't think that's enough.<ee> <efs>I'm wondering how you guys are holding up because honestly now that there are holidays and I have 20 days off work, I feel like crying every day and I would most sincerely drink myself to passing out every day until work starts again.<efe> <es>Even though I work in a factory and the job is quite repetitive, and boring, it's still the only thing that keeps me "balanced" per se.<ee> <es>Though weekends are still a huge problem.<ee> <efs>I honestly am starting to give up on life, had 2 suicide attempts last year (2019), (od-ing on pills), and I see no hope of me ever living a normal life.<efe> <efs>I feel like I'll just waste away my whole life alone in my room and I have no energy and motivation to do anything about it...<efe> <rs>I really need some advice.<re> <es>My life before the diagnosis was a complete wreck which lasted about 2 years.<ee> <es>I was always drunk, binge-eating, binge-spending etc.<ee> <es>Now not so much, so I've made some progress, but things still look grim. <ee> <rs>Did any of you get prescribed any pills?<re> <es>because mine don't seem to be of much help.<ee> <es>Maybe except abilify. <ee> <es>I am currently drinking: Abilify 10mg in morning, Klonopin .<ee><es>5mg in morning and before sleep Trazodone 150mg before sleep and Campral 333mg 3 times a day bcoz I was abusing alcohol.<ee>
| 2 | 2 | 2 | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 222 |
eiit41
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Confused about borderline traits?
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1a
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help-seeking
| 3 |
tldr: Me schizoid but my brain sometimes switches and then I suddenly have bpd-esque symptoms - WHAT??
I hope I'm not breaking rules by posting and not having full BPD, if I did sorry. Okay so basically I have combined personality disorder with \*\*predominantly\*\* schizoid traits, almost exclusively schizoid traits (not wanting/feeling the need for social relationships, little to no interest in anything, lots of dissociation, reduced affect bla, bla, bla). However, I get psychological "flare ups". "Borderline traits" was kinda shoved into my diagnosis and my psychiatrist did say that it was basically bc of these episodes but I didn't really get a full explanation and my therapist(s) always more or less focused on recent issues rather than something that sometimes happened in the past and pretty rarely at that as well, like idk 3 times in the last 15 years? So I'm essentially clueless and I can't find anything about this either bc either people don't talk about it or I've missed something. (not currently seeing any of them bc I had to move and getting a therapist/psychiatrist is a pain where I live)
But here goes what happens:
1. For some very odd reason, I make a social contact
2. In my head the "boundaries" between me and the person kinda disappear, i.e. I start viewing them as an extension of myself rather than seperate person. By that time I also start needing them and get anxious of being abandoned. Like I have panic attacks brought up by signs of abandonment or rejection, idk I just get very emotionally stressed. Other than that I basically start molding them into a vision of a perfect person when they're away. Ironically I don't even like to be around them for the most part when I am, towards the end it actually just intensifies my suicidal ideation, but it's necessary to interact with them, like an uncontrollable urge.
3. My mood gets out of control. I basically swing between an hyperactivity mixed with a lot of aggression (typically ends in self-harm), having a panic attack, feeling empty and wanting to die and crying uncontrollably because I feel horrible about something within a few hours. I've been seriously asked if I took drugs by other people bc of this.
4. My brain decides that it had enough, I leave the person almost immediately and we never talk again. Which also makes the mood swings and everything else disappear.
I mean if anyone else told me this and said that it was bpd traits, I'd probably believe it (well, mostly bc wtf do I know about diagnosing mental illnesses but still) but in my specific context it makes literally 0 sense like what? Imagine suddenly getting dependant on something you NEVER feel a slightest need for, whilst not even particularly enjoying it and at the same time having mood swings of the century when you usually don't even feel any emotions other than depersonalisation. Does anyone actually know what this is and can point me to resources or give me some advice? Idk I just want to be able to understand that side of myself. I mean maybe my psychiatrist was just stupid (wouldn't be the first time I've encountered a psychiatrist who is wrong about something) and this is actually something completely different but I felt like bpd having people probably are more familiar with things that are somewhat similar to bpd??
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vuuuuuuuuu
| 1 | 0 | 1 |
2020-01-01 14:23:00
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BPD
|
<es>tldr: Me schizoid but my brain sometimes switches and then I suddenly have bpd-esque symptoms - WHAT?? <ee> <es>I hope I'm not breaking rules by posting and not having full BPD, if I did sorry.<ee> <es>Okay so basically I have combined personality disorder with \*\*predominantly\*\* schizoid traits, almost exclusively schizoid traits (not wanting/feeling the need for social relationships, little to no interest in anything, lots of dissociation, reduced affect bla, bla, bla).<ee> <es>However, I get psychological "flare ups". "Borderline traits" was kinda shoved into my diagnosis and my psychiatrist did say that it was basically bc of these episodes but I didn't really get a full explanation and my therapist(s) always more or less focused on recent issues rather than something that sometimes happened in the past and pretty rarely at that as well, like idk 3 times in the last 15 years?<ee> <es>So I'm essentially clueless and I can't find anything about this either bc either people don't talk about it or I've missed something. (not currently seeing any of them bc I had to move and getting a therapist/psychiatrist is a pain where I live)<ee> But here goes what happens: <es>1. For some very odd reason, I make a social contact <ee> <es>2. In my head the "boundaries" between me and the person kinda disappear, i.e. I start viewing them as an extension of myself rather than seperate person.<ee> <efs>By that time I also start needing them and get anxious of being abandoned.<efe> <efs>Like I have panic attacks brought up by signs of abandonment or rejection, idk I just get very emotionally stressed.<efe> <efs>Other than that I basically start molding them into a vision of a perfect person when they're away.<efe> <efs>Ironically I don't even like to be around them for the most part when I am, towards the end it actually just intensifies my suicidal ideation, but it's necessary to interact with them, like an uncontrollable urge. <efe> <es>3. My mood gets out of control.<ee> <efs>I basically swing between an hyperactivity mixed with a lot of aggression (typically ends in self-harm), having a panic attack, feeling empty and wanting to die and crying uncontrollably because I feel horrible about something within a few hours.<efe> <es>I've been seriously asked if I took drugs by other people bc of this. <ee> <es>4. My brain decides that it had enough, I leave the person almost immediately and we never talk again.<ee> <es>Which also makes the mood swings and everything else disappear.<ee> <es>I mean if anyone else told me this and said that it was bpd traits, I'd probably believe it (well, mostly bc wtf do I know about diagnosing mental illnesses but still) but in my specific context it makes literally 0 sense like what?<ee> <efs>Imagine suddenly getting dependant on something you NEVER feel a slightest need for, whilst not even particularly enjoying it and at the same time having mood swings of the century when you usually don't even feel any emotions other than depersonalization.<efe> <rs>Does anyone actually know what this is and can point me to resources or give me some advice?<re> <rs>Idk I just want to be able to understand that side of myself.<re> <rs>I mean maybe my psychiatrist was just stupid (wouldn't be the first time I've encountered a psychiatrist who is wrong about something) and this is actually something completely different but I felt like bpd having people probably are more familiar with things that are somewhat similar to bpd??<re>
| 2 | 2 | 2 | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 222 |
ekb0j7
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I can’t cry
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1a
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rant
| 1 |
I’m sitting here in bed at 3:30 am and I feel really sad and lonely nobody likes me and I’m just sitting here not being able to cry and I realize that I can’t talk to anyone about this because no one is awake and so now it’s time to turn to Reddit I am just an emotional boi and life is just sucky I was hoping to vent and this is giving me some sort of reassurance that I haven’t been able to get at all.
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cburrito0401
| 3 | 0 | 2 |
2020-01-05 09:44:03
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sad
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<efs>I’m sitting here in bed at 3:30 am and I feel really sad and lonely nobody likes me and I’m just sitting here not being able to cry.<efe> <es>I realize that I can’t talk to anyone about this because no one is awake and so now it’s time to turn to Reddit I am just an emotional boi and life is just sucky I was hoping to vent and this is giving me some sort of reassurance that I haven’t been able to get at all.<ee>
| 1 | 2 | 0 |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
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why you think your life is not good
| null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
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you feel sad and lonely
| null | true | 120 |
eusjn8
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1 thought, 1 quote, 1 question for the week...
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0
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chitchat
| 1 |
&#x200B;
[1 thought from me, 1 quote from another, 1 question for you](https://preview.redd.it/33ow823rbdd41.png?width=1238&format=png&auto=webp&s=cd8d4bbf4673e1c4455938cbdc02bd3bb5a26e3d)
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SuperBend0
| 1 | 0 | 1 |
2020-01-27 19:02:35
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selfhelp
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&#x200B; [1 thought from me, 1 quote from another, 1 question for you](https://preview.redd.it/33ow823rbdd41.png?width=1238&format=png&auto=webp&s=cd8d4bbf4673e1c4455938cbdc02bd3bb5a26e3d)
| 0 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 0 |
eine0h
|
New Years Party
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0
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rant
| 1 |
I actually ended up going to a New Years party last night that I was really hesitant about. My friend was throwing a New Years party and really wanted me to go. I didn’t know many of the people there but I actually had a pretty good time. I still didn’t talk to many people and wasn’t very social but I didn’t have a panic attack(I have one at every party I go to). I did just chill in the garage the whole time with some other people and they were pretty cool! I was actually talking to them even though I didn’t know a single one of them.
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_NapTownArt_
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
2020-01-01 20:36:46
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socialanxiety
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I actually ended up going to a New Years party last night that I was really hesitant about. My friend was throwing a New Years party and really wanted me to go. I didn’t know many of the people there but I actually had a pretty good time. I still didn’t talk to many people and wasn’t very social but I didn’t have a panic attack(I have one at every party I go to). I did just chill in the garage the whole time with some other people and they were pretty cool! I was actually talking to them even though I didn’t know a single one of them.
| 0 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
positive
| true | 0 |
eixpxv
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16 year old with no education
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1b
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rant
| 2 |
So today I was playing a survival game on my phone when I come across a boy named josh03. He texts in chat that he wants to team up, but he saying it like he's Yoda, backwards forwards. I team up with him and through out the whole conversation your get the general idea of what he's saying, and right before he gets off he says this:
Josh:I'm sad
Me:why is that
Josh:me no text, me only look
Me:what
Josh:school not I'm
Me:your not in school?
Josh:me know know it( guessing he saying he never went to school)
Me:why dont your parents put you in school
Josh:Me know know IT!
Me:how old are you?
Josh:16...
Me:What!?
Josh:ok bye tie me( bye time)
Me:wait josh n-
(Disconnects)
I really feel bad for him, thought the texts he was funny and innocent it really makes you want to help Him but you Can't!..... I know its stupid to cry over someone you knew for 1 hour, but knowing that someone is growing up alone with no way of communication and probably won't be able to make a living really makes me tear up, especially if they're close to you age range....
I'll keep you posted
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CK-Claps
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
2020-01-02 12:36:28
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sad
|
<es>So today I was playing a survival game on my phone when I come across a boy named josh03.<ee> <es>He texts in chat that he wants to team up, but he saying it like he's Yoda, backwards forwards.<ee> <es>I team up with him and through out the whole conversation your get the general idea of what he's saying, and right before he gets off he says this: Josh:I'm sad<ee> Me:why is that Josh:me no text, me only look Me:what Josh:school not I'm Me:your not in school? Josh:me know know it( guessing he saying he never went to school) Me:why dont your parents put you in school Josh:Me know know IT! Me:how old are you? Josh:16... Me:What!? Josh:ok bye tie me( bye time) Me:wait josh n- (Disconnects) <efs>I really feel bad for him, thought the texts he was funny and innocent it really makes you want to help Him but you Can't!.....<efe> <efs>I know its stupid to cry over someone you knew for 1 hour, but knowing that someone is growing up alone with no way of communication and probably won't be able to make a living really makes me tear up, especially if they're close to you age range....<efe> I'll keep you posted
| 2 | 2 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you feel bad about the boy
| null | true | 220 |
fhz3xd
|
(Long Post) There’s really no reason for me to be depressed, my life is pretty good. Feels like I’m going through anhedonia.
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1a
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rant
| 3 |
Feels like I’ve been in a depressive episode for months now. As time goes on the worse the symptoms of my depression get. There’s not really a reason for me to be depressed. Here’s why:
- I’m not in school anymore
- I have no job
- I don’t owe any money to the government
- I practically live alone
- I can sleep when I want, and eat whatever I want
- can watch TV or browse the internet all day
- have no responsibilities
My seasonal depression is starting to go away because it’s March now, but I still have clinical depression, so I’m still heavily depressed regardless. I just find it irritating that with my time off relaxing and enjoying myself before I get a job or go back to school (if ever to both of them), I want to actually enjoy myself with my time off instead of being drowned in negative and suicidal thoughts. The suicidal thoughts are practically everyday. Appetite is diminished. Sleep is starting to become more scarce. Energy is low all day.
It’s become to the point where I can’t take care of my body anymore. I’m extremely dehydrated, I started brushing my teeth less, have worn the same clothes for days, haven’t done the dishes in awhile and overall I can’t function at all. A month ago I could do these things but it seems that I will get a boost of motivation and purpose for a few days and then I fall back into my depressive episode for weeks or months.
I’ve been on multiple anti-depressants. None are working. My current one isn’t working at all. I’m on a waitlist to see a therapist. I’ve tried doing small things each day but now I don’t bother. Sure, brushing my teeth will make me feel slightly good but in the end I’m still depressed so it becomes even exhausting brushing my teeth.
I’m sort of in this suicidal mentality. I don’t care what happens to me. I kind of want the corona virus to kill me or something kills me instantaneously. I don’t care about my health anymore. I’ve been just eating shit food, fapping all day and smoking weed. I haven’t left the house in 2 weeks unless you count the time I go to the grocery store. I only leave the house for my psychiatrist appointment. I don’t talk to anyone IRL except my dad when I need something. I think I’m going through extreme social isolation as well but there’s not much I can do about that currently.
I don’t have any hobbies or interests anymore, and it has been like that for at least 3 years. As time goes on the less hobbies and interests I have. My hobbies/interests right now are porn, sleeping, music, eating (when I’m hungry) and youtube content. Yes, I know that these things are addicting and make my depression worse but this is all I got as a coping mechanism and these are practically the only things that keep me from ending it all. If my internet access was taken away I would most likely surrender myself to a psych ward because that’s the only thing I have left. I’m on the internet for at least 12hrs a day, and I don’t really have a problem with it as time goes by fast when I’m on it for that long, which is another cooing mechanism.
Just reading this post is giving off so many contradictions, I’m full of irony it seems. I’m just doing things that are simply making me more depressed. But I’m at a point where I don’t give a shit anymore. I’m out of ideas, I’m out of energy to actually improve myself. I’ve been wanting to legitimately end my life for 2 years now but haven’t because I don’t have access to painless options like opiates. I’ve been on mental health subs like these for years, like 4 or 5 years. I’ve been complaining on Reddit since I was 14 and I’m 19 now. Really nothing has changed except the fact that my mental health has steadily gotten worse. I’ve tried talking to mental health counsellors before but they didn’t help me. In fact I got worse because I would mentally burnout because the therapy/CBT was too intense for me even though it was basic stuff like waking up on time, brushing my teeth, eating 2 meals a day, etc.. I believe this was a contributing factor to my visit to the psych ward almost 2 years ago. I simply couldn’t take being alive anymore, it was too stressful.
Everyday I wake up I’m getting constant negative thoughts or repressed emotions that I’ve kept in and decided not to let go of. Every day my mood feels like a 2/10. I have no drive for anything in life. If you gave me a shotgun or some opioids I would easily end my life with one of them. I simply just don’t care anymore. What can you expect from me? If I’m willing to die and give up on life, what makes you think I can acquire the energy and drive to better myself? Because I don’t have the energy or drive to better myself, I just don’t.
I just wish I could enjoy myself. I’m living a pretty good life right now if you don’t consider the mental health problems. I have no responsibilities and I don’t work or go to school and yet even on my time off, I still feel horrible. If I went on vacation it wouldn’t change anything either, I’d still be depressed.
I pretty much summarized all of my rants into this post hoping something comes of it. I don’t even know why I’m posting this, I don’t get anything out of this, maybe some attention if I’m being honest. I feel like I’m not trying enough to better myself but I don’t care which is probably why I want to die. I just want to feel happy but that seems too much to ask. Maybe at least I want to feel okay. Every day is just painful for me I want out.
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ease330
| 1 | 0 | 34 |
2020-03-13 12:47:38
|
getting_over_it
|
<efs>Feels like I’ve been in a depressive episode for months now.<efe> <es>As time goes on the worse the symptoms of my depression get.<ee> <es>There’s not really a reason for me to be depressed.<ee> <es>Here’s why: - I’m not in school anymore - I have no job - I don’t owe any money to the government - I practically live alone - I can sleep when I want, and eat whatever I want - can watch TV or browse the internet all day - have no responsibilities <ee> <es>My seasonal depression is starting to go away because it’s March now, but I still have clinical depression, so I’m still heavily depressed regardless.<ee> <efs>I just find it irritating that with my time off relaxing and enjoying myself before I get a job or go back to school (if ever to both of them), I want to actually enjoy myself with my time off instead of being drowned in negative and suicidal thoughts.<efe> <es>The suicidal thoughts are practically everyday.<ee> <efs>Appetite is diminished.<efe> <efs>Sleep is starting to become more scarce.<efe> <efs>Energy is low all day.<efe> <es>It’s become to the point where I can’t take care of my body anymore.<ee> <efs>I’m extremely dehydrated, I started brushing my teeth less, have worn the same clothes for days, haven’t done the dishes in awhile and overall I can’t function at all.<efe> <es>A month ago I could do these things but it seems that I will get a boost of motivation and purpose for a few days and then I fall back into my depressive episode for weeks or months. <ee> <es>I’ve been on multiple anti-depressants.<ee> <es>None are working.<ee> <es>My current one isn’t working at all.<ee> <es>I’m on a waitlist to see a therapist.<ee> <es>I’ve tried doing small things each day but now I don’t bother.<ee> <es>Sure, brushing my teeth will make me feel slightly good but in the end I’m still depressed so it becomes even exhausting brushing my teeth. <ee> <es>I’m sort of in this suicidal mentality.<ee> <es>I don’t care what happens to me.<ee> <efs>I kind of want the corona virus to kill me or something kills me instantaneously.<efe> <es>I don’t care about my health anymore.<ee> <es>I’ve been just eating shit food, fapping all day and smoking weed.<ee> <es>I haven’t left the house in 2 weeks unless you count the time I go to the grocery store.<ee> <es>I only leave the house for my psychiatrist appointment.<ee> <es>I don’t talk to anyone IRL except my dad when I need something.<ee> <es>I think I’m going through extreme social isolation as well but there’s not much I can do about that currently. <ee> <es>I don’t have any hobbies or interests anymore, and it has been like that for at least 3 years.<ee> <es>As time goes on the less hobbies and interests I have.<ee> <es>My hobbies/interests right now are porn, sleeping, music, eating (when I’m hungry) and youtube content.<ee> <es>Yes, I know that these things are addicting and make my depression worse but this is all I got as a coping mechanism and these are practically the only things that keep me from ending it all.<ee> <es>If my internet access was taken away I would most likely surrender myself to a psych ward because that’s the only thing I have left.<ee> <es>I’m on the internet for at least 12hrs a day, and I don’t really have a problem with it as time goes by fast when I’m on it for that long, which is another cooing mechanism. <ee> <es>Just reading this post is giving off so many contradictions, I’m full of irony it seems.<ee> <es>I’m just doing things that are simply making me more depressed.<ee> <efs>But I’m at a point where I don’t give a shit anymore.<efe> <es>I’m out of ideas, I’m out of energy to actually improve myself.<ee> <es>I’ve been wanting to legitimately end my life for 2 years now but haven’t because I don’t have access to painless options like opiates.<ee> <es>I’ve been on mental health subs like these for years, like 4 or 5 years.<ee> <es>I’ve been complaining on Reddit since I was 14 and I’m 19 now.<ee> <es>Really nothing has changed except the fact that my mental health has steadily gotten worse.<ee> <es>I’ve tried talking to mental health counsellors before but they didn’t help me.<ee> <es>In fact I got worse because I would mentally burnout because the therapy/CBT was too intense for me even though it was basic stuff like waking up on time, brushing my teeth, eating 2 meals a day, etc..<ee> <es>I believe this was a contributing factor to my visit to the psych ward almost 2 years ago.<ee> <es>I simply couldn’t take being alive anymore, it was too stressful. <ee> <es>Everyday I wake up I’m getting constant negative thoughts or repressed emotions that I’ve kept in and decided not to let go of.<ee> <efs>Every day my mood feels like a 2/10.<efe> <es>I have no drive for anything in life.<ee> <es>If you gave me a shotgun or some opioids I would easily end my life with one of them.<ee> <efs>I simply just don’t care anymore.<efe> What can you expect from me? <es>If I’m willing to die and give up on life, what makes you think I can acquire the energy and drive to better myself?<ee> <es>Because I don’t have the energy or drive to better myself, I just don’t. <ee> <rs>I just wish I could enjoy myself.<re> <es>I’m living a pretty good life right now if you don’t consider the mental health problems.<ee> <efs>I have no responsibilities and I don’t work or go to school and yet even on my time off, I still feel horrible.<efe> <es>If I went on vacation it wouldn’t change anything either, I’d still be depressed. <ee> <rs>I pretty much summarized all of my rants into this post hoping something comes of it.<re> <es>I don’t even know why I’m posting this, I don’t get anything out of this, maybe some attention if I’m being honest.<ee> <efs>I feel like I’m not trying enough to better myself but I don’t care which is probably why I want to die.<efe> <rs>I just want to feel happy but that seems too much to ask.<re> <rs>Maybe at least I want to feel okay.<re> <efs>Every day is just painful for me I want out.<efe>
| 2 | 2 | 2 | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 222 |
el5qal
|
It's sad how sad you sad fucks are
|
0
|
rant
| 1 | null |
whiteboyforsale
| 1 | 0 | 7 |
2020-01-07 03:43:35
|
sad
| null | 0 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
random
| true | 0 |
eln5fw
|
:(
|
0
|
rant
| 3 | null |
fuzzmate
| 1 | 0 | 87 |
2020-01-08 03:47:57
|
sad
| null | 0 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
random
| true | 0 |
fyxkb8
|
PLEASE READ IF YOU'RE NOT OKAY
|
0
|
chitchat
| 4 |
dancing in the sun ☀️
and blowing soap bubbles 🧼
taking a warm bath 🛀🏻
to soak away your troubles 🚿
a warm familiar voice 🗣
when you pick up the phone 📞
a hug from the person 🙆🏻♀️
that makes you feel at home 🏡
the snow gently falling ❄️
as you sip a hot drink 🍵
talking to your crush 🥰
as your cheeks turn pink 💕
the rush of adrenaline 😰
as you face your fears 🕷
winning that game 🏀
as your whole team cheers 📣
seeing a baby’s smile 👶🏻
so innocent and pure 🍼
tuning in to news 📰
that says they’ve found a cure 💊
coming home for dinner 🚙
to your favorite meal 🍱
falling deep in love ❤️
and knowing it is real 🌈
staring out the window 🚗
driving down the highway 🛣
snuggling into bed 🛌
after a really shitty day 👎🏼
sitting with a blanket ☮️
by the fireplace 🔥
reading a good book 📖
in your very own space 🧘🏻♀️
feeling your heart is breaking 💔
and your whole world stops 🛑
that feeling on a coaster 🎢
when your stomach drops 😞
sprinting across fields 🌾
with wind in your ears 🌬
listening to sad songs 🎧
and embracing the tears 💧
laughing with your friends 😂
til your tummies ache 🤣
gazing at the stars 🌌
when no one is awake 💤
smiling at a stranger ☺️
as you walk down the road🚶🏻♀️
the bang through your body 💥
as the fireworks explode 🎆
waking up early ⏰
to the smell of ocean waves 🌊
having morning coffees ☕️
in sweet little cafes 🥯
standing on the seashore 🐚
with sand beneath your toes 🏝
watching the sun set 🌅
as the day comes to a close 🌕
these are the feelings
that make life worth the pain
despite all the tears
and all the constant strain.
it gets better I promise
just hold on
your happiness will return
it isn’t gone.
it’s okay to cry
it’s okay to fall apart
but know that there’s a reason
why you have a heart.
it’s beating inside
and keeping you alive
you deserve to see tomorrow
you deserve to survive.
I care about you
I see you there
even if you feel invisible
your sorrows I will share.
you are loved you are treasured
and I hope you understand
there are people out there
if you need a helping hand.
but for now your only job
is to simply smile
and one day you’ll see
that this was all worthwhile.
|
xkayl
| 1 | 0 | 2 |
2020-04-11 05:52:11
|
getting_over_it
|
dancing in the sun ☀️ and blowing soap bubbles 🧼 taking a warm bath 🛀🏻 to soak away your troubles 🚿 a warm familiar voice 🗣 when you pick up the phone 📞 a hug from the person 🙆🏻♀️ that makes you feel at home 🏡 the snow gently falling ❄️ as you sip a hot drink 🍵 talking to your crush 🥰 as your cheeks turn pink 💕 the rush of adrenaline 😰 as you face your fears 🕷 winning that game 🏀 as your whole team cheers 📣 seeing a baby’s smile 👶🏻 so innocent and pure 🍼 tuning in to news 📰 that says they’ve found a cure 💊 coming home for dinner 🚙 to your favorite meal 🍱 falling deep in love ❤️ and knowing it is real 🌈 staring out the window 🚗 driving down the highway 🛣 snuggling into bed 🛌 after a really shitty day 👎🏼 sitting with a blanket ☮️ by the fireplace 🔥 reading a good book 📖 in your very own space 🧘🏻♀️ feeling your heart is breaking 💔 and your whole world stops 🛑 that feeling on a coaster 🎢 when your stomach drops 😞 sprinting across fields 🌾 with wind in your ears 🌬 listening to sad songs 🎧 and embracing the tears 💧 laughing with your friends 😂 til your tummies ache 🤣 gazing at the stars 🌌 when no one is awake 💤 smiling at a stranger ☺️ as you walk down the road🚶🏻♀️ the bang through your body 💥 as the fireworks explode 🎆 waking up early ⏰ to the smell of ocean waves 🌊 having morning coffees ☕️ in sweet little cafes 🥯 standing on the seashore 🐚 with sand beneath your toes 🏝 watching the sun set 🌅 as the day comes to a close 🌕 these are the feelings that make life worth the pain despite all the tears and all the constant strain. it gets better I promise just hold on your happiness will return it isn’t gone. it’s okay to cry it’s okay to fall apart but know that there’s a reason why you have a heart. it’s beating inside and keeping you alive you deserve to see tomorrow you deserve to survive. I care about you I see you there even if you feel invisible your sorrows I will share. you are loved you are treasured and I hope you understand there are people out there if you need a helping hand. but for now your only job is to simply smile and one day you’ll see that this was all worthwhile.
| 0 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
random
| true | 0 |
einkam
|
I snap when I'm confronted, and I have a wealth of knowledge to say some really hurtful things. I don't want to be this way
|
1a
|
survey
| 1 |
Anyone else this way?
|
kelliechristmas
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
2020-01-01 20:49:51
|
BPD
|
<es>I snap when I'm confronted, and I have a wealth of knowledge to say some really hurtful things.<ee> <rs>I don't want to be this way<re> <rs>Anyone else this way?<re>
| 2 | 0 | 2 | null | null |
How did X make you feel?
|
being confronted
| null | null | null | true | 202 |
eimfn5
|
I can’t stop crying
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 1 |
I wish someone would help me
|
tyi-smartie
| 1 | 0 | 2 |
2020-01-01 19:25:50
|
sad
|
I wish someone would help me
| 0 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
repeat
| true | 0 |
ejxk7o
|
[ADVICE] What to do if a loved one is showing symptoms of a mental illness/personality disorder
|
1b
|
help-seeking
| 3 |
**Background**: I've been worried for my brother for a long time now. It all started, in summer 2016, when my family and I were getting ready to travel out of the country and on the day we were travelling, my 18-year old brother jumped out of a window. We found out where he was because we called his friend's mom. She had told us that he was in the hospital. The reason why he jumped out of the window is that he wanted to escape from my family, most specifically my dad. After this incident, there has been an ongoing conflict between my brother and father. My brother most commonly accused my father of not treating him like a man, only being focused on his work and not his family. He also claimed that my father verbally abused him.
As soon as we think everything is resolved between my father and brother, my now 19-year old brother runs away again. This time to a shelter for disadvantaged youth. We know that he's in the shelter because we received a call from the director, telling us that he's in the shelter. Once we picked my brother up, he claimed that he knew that he didn't belong there. He said that his life wasn't as hard as the people who were in the shelter.
**Present day**: My brother is now 21-years old who is supposed to have senior standing. On December 30, my brother sat my father and mother down to tell them that he wouldn't be graduating on time. He also told them that he had been editing his grades to make them look good, even though he has been failing this whole time. Although he was failing out of his major, he continued studying it. The reason why he continued to study his major is that he thought that he would eventually like it. He came up with the solution to choose 4 courses from 4 completely different majors. Meaning that whichever course he likes best, he will pursue the courses in that major.
My parents, sister, and I have been trying to explain to him how this is not fair because he is essentially repeating undergrad all over again. Meaning that my parents will have to fork over thousands of dollars when all of this could have been prevented if he had spoken up about failing his courses as early as Sophomore year of school. If he had spoken up earlier, we could have found him a major that was more suitable for his interests. The issue with my brother is that he is incapable of hearing anyone elses's side and he thinks that he is always right. Even when someone makes a valid point, he ignores the person speaking and interrupts what they're saying. I have observed that my brother has this, 'I'm always right and everyone else is wrong' idea. He seems to lack concern and remorse for having to redo undergrad all over again. He acts as if money is easy to come by and he acts as if it is no big deal that my parents have to spend money on his education. Additionally, he explicitly said that the only reason he's living in my family's house is for education purposes and if education were not in the equation, he'd be living somewhere else. That sounds like exploitation to me.
Unfortunately, this is only a summary of all the events that have occurred. Alas, what should I do? I heard that it is hard to get someone with these symptoms to get help.
|
ezitherese
| 4 | 0 | 4 |
2020-01-04 14:57:03
|
mentalillness
|
**Background**: <efs>I've been worried for my brother for a long time now.<efe> <es>It all started, in summer 2016, when my family and I were getting ready to travel out of the country and on the day we were travelling, my 18-year old brother jumped out of a window.<ee> <es>We found out where he was because we called his friend's mom.<ee> <es>She had told us that he was in the hospital.<ee> <es>The reason why he jumped out of the window is that he wanted to escape from my family, most specifically my dad.<ee> <es>After this incident, there has been an ongoing conflict between my brother and father.<ee> <es>My brother most commonly accused my father of not treating him like a man, only being focused on his work and not his family.<ee> <es>He also claimed that my father verbally abused him. <ee> <es>As soon as we think everything is resolved between my father and brother, my now 19-year old brother runs away again.<ee> <es>This time to a shelter for disadvantaged youth.<ee> We know that he's in the shelter because we received a call from the director, telling us that he's in the shelter. <efs>Once we picked my brother up, he claimed that he knew that he didn't belong there.<efe> He said that his life wasn't as hard as the people who were in the shelter. **Present day**: <My brother is now 21-years old who is supposed to have senior standing. <es>On December 30, my brother sat my father and mother down to tell them that he wouldn't be graduating on time.<ee> <es>He also told them that he had been editing his grades to make them look good, even though he has been failing this whole time.<ee> Although he was failing out of his major, he continued studying it. The reason why he continued to study his major is that he thought that he would eventually like it. He came up with the solution to choose 4 courses from 4 completely different majors. Meaning that whichever course he likes best, he will pursue the courses in that major. <es>My parents, sister, and I have been trying to explain to him how this is not fair because he is essentially repeating undergrad all over again.<ee> <es>Meaning that my parents will have to fork over thousands of dollars when all of this could have been prevented if he had spoken up about failing his courses as early as Sophomore year of school.<ee> If he had spoken up earlier, we could have found him a major that was more suitable for his interests. <es>The issue with my brother is that he is incapable of hearing anyone elses's side and he thinks that he is always right.<ee> <es>Even when someone makes a valid point, he ignores the person speaking and interrupts what they're saying.<ee> I have observed that my brother has this, 'I'm always right and everyone else is wrong' idea. <es>He seems to lack concern and remorse for having to redo undergrad all over again. <ee> He acts as if money is easy to come by and he acts as if it is no big deal that my parents have to spend money on his education. Additionally, he explicitly said that the only reason he's living in my family's house is for education purposes and if education were not in the equation, he'd be living somewhere else. That sounds like exploitation to me. Unfortunately, this is only a summary of all the events that have occurred. <rs>Alas, what should I do?<re> I heard that it is hard to get someone with these symptoms to get help.
| 2 | 0 | 2 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null |
How did X make you feel?
|
your brother
| null | null | null | true | 202 |
ei8ebm
|
look at this ahole
|
1b
|
rant
| 3 |
"""" [–]desquibnt
That being said, looking at your post history, a therapist would be better for you than a house in a random location right now. Go talk to someone and get some help. Wallowing on Reddit isn't the best mental health treatment """
my response to him "nobody asked you to snoop my post history and give an unsolicited advice. Thanks for ur awful advice but therapist doesn't provide shelter or pay my bills. So u can go F urself."
what an huge pile of sh$t that guy, is he going to pay for my therapist or health care? He's so condescending like he thinks he's better than me, like he knows what's best for my life. Fu#k this POS ahole.
|
wisqrg50
| 1 | 0 | 1 |
2019-12-31 20:31:24
|
depression
|
"""" [–]desquibnt That being said, looking at your post history, a therapist would be better for you than a house in a random location right now. Go talk to someone and get some help. Wallowing on Reddit isn't the best mental health treatment """ my response to him "nobody asked you to snoop my post history and give an unsolicited advice. Thanks for ur awful advice but therapist doesn't provide shelter or pay my bills. So u can go F urself." what an huge pile of sh$t that guy, is he going to pay for my therapist or health care? <es>He's so condescending like he thinks he's better than me, like he knows what's best for my life.<ee> Fu#k this POS ahole.
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
why you felt the guy was condescending
|
How did X make you feel?
|
the reply of that guy
|
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you feel that guy doesn't know what's best for you
| null | true | 100 |
f1uus1
|
I’ve just been wondering but-
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 1 |
I was wondering if anyone ever gets incredibly mad at random things???? i just feel like my anger is making me go crazy; I tend to ruin my relationships all the time by having outbursts when having conversations!! I just feel so angry all the time and i can’t control it. i even deleted my instagram bc it made me so angry :((
Tbh i don’t know if it’s out of jealously, envy or being sad. it’s kind of random and i really don’t know how to handle it.
can anyone give me some tips on how to deal with all this rage?
|
weeboloid
| 1 | 0 | 2 |
2020-02-10 18:52:29
|
Anger
|
<rs>I was wondering if anyone ever gets incredibly mad at random things????<re> <efs>i just feel like my anger is making me go crazy;<efe> <es>I tend to ruin my relationships all the time by having outbursts when having conversations!!<ee> <efs>I just feel so angry all the time and i can’t control it.<efe> <efs>i even deleted my instagram bc it made me so angry :((<efe> <es>Tbh i don’t know if it’s out of jealously, envy or being sad.<ee> <es>it’s kind of random and i really don’t know how to handle it. <ee> <rs>can anyone give me some tips on how to deal with all this rage?<re>
| 2 | 2 | 2 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 222 |
ei86hc
|
I hate when I'm told to not have feelings of hopelessness
|
1b
|
rant
| 1 |
They act like it's inherently bad. If there is nothing to feel hopeful about then why just pretend. They also say the medicine is supposed to help with it but it doesn't. If anything it makes me feel more hopeless because I don't even have bodily autonomy. The thing is they will either say I'm lying or put me on another medicine for like 6 months which also does nothing.
|
DrunkShroom
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
2019-12-31 20:14:33
|
depression
|
They act like it's inherently bad. If there is nothing to feel hopeful about then why just pretend. They also say the medicine is supposed to help with it but it doesn't. <efs>If anything it makes me feel more hopeless because I don't even have bodily autonomy.<efe> The thing is they will either say I'm lying or put me on another medicine for like 6 months which also does nothing.
| 0 | 1 | 0 |
What made you feel X ?
|
hopeless
|
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
the feeling of hopelessness that you have
|
What can help you overcome X ?
|
this feeling of hopelessness
| null | true | 10 |
en92cf
|
One week today
|
1a
|
chitchat
| 1 |
Had roughly 7 years opiate free until September when I moved back to my hometown and began hanging out with old friends. Within a couple of weeks I was snorting fent pills every single day and within a few months I had developed a 250-300$ a day habit and no one in my family knew. I tried quitting multiple times by myself to no avail due to having to work and not being able to do so while sick from fent. Eventually after blowing roughly 10,000$ I humbled myself and told my family they were in shock they thought that they would never have to worry about it again. I was lucky enough that they were incredibly supportive and helped me check into a detox. They tried to put me on suboxone long term but I refused. Anyways sorry for the rambling but today I feel 90% and hit 7 days clean at 3pm. Incredibly grateful for the people on this subreddit you all helped give me the hope to get away from that shit. 🙌🏻
|
professorpounds420
| 1 | 0 | 9 |
2020-01-11 15:54:43
|
OpiatesRecovery
|
<es>Had roughly 7 years opiate free until September when I moved back to my hometown and began hanging out with old friends.<ee> <es>Within a couple of weeks I was snorting fent pills every single day and within a few months I had developed a 250-300$ a day habit and no one in my family knew.<ee> <es>I tried quitting multiple times by myself to no avail due to having to work and not being able to do so while sick from fent.<ee> <es>Eventually after blowing roughly 10,000$ I humbled myself and told my family they were in shock they thought that they would never have to worry about it again.<ee> <es> I was lucky enough that they were incredibly supportive and helped me check into a detox. <ee> <es>They tried to put me on suboxone long term but I refused.<ee> <efs>Anyways sorry for the rambling but today I feel 90% and hit 7 days clean at 3pm.<efe> Incredibly grateful for the people on this subreddit you all helped give me the hope to get away from that shit. 🙌🏻
| 2 | 1 | 0 | null | null |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
how you feel being 7 days clean
|
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you are trying to detox
| null | true | 210 |
fdb8fb
|
What do I talk about with old friends if I had spent the majority of my teenage hood depressed at home?
|
0
|
help-seeking
| 1 |
(sorry for my English) I'm 20,I'm meeting my old friends from elementary school after almost 10 years. I've recently met some of them, fortunately it was very casual, we mostly talked about older times. I drank a lot and made enough jokes to avoid too much questions about me, I kept things very brief. We're meeting again soon in a bigger group and I'm stressed there will be more people wanting to know what I did in the time we haven't seen each other.
In reality I spend my teen years very depressed and suicidal, I was medicated and almost had to go to hospital. I was quiet at school and didn't make much friends (and I lost contact with them now anyway),I was at the total of maybe 3 parties when I was in high school. After school I either slept or watched YouTube, spent time on reddit. I didn't develop any cool hobbies or talents, haven't visited any new places. I've been going to therapy and have been doing better only since Christmas.I feel absolutely pathetic and boring. The worst thing is that I really like my old friends and would love to know what they've been up to but I know to do that I'll have to open up too. What do I do? What do I talk about? Do I lie or be honest? I haven't seen those people in a long time, I only told a little about my depression to two of the friends, I don't want to disappoint anyone or be seen as 'the depressed one'
|
sangriasky
| 1 | 0 | 6 |
2020-03-04 10:41:46
|
getting_over_it
|
<es>(sorry for my English) I'm 20,I'm meeting my old friends from elementary school after almost 10 years.<ee> <es>I've recently met some of them, fortunately it was very casual, we mostly talked about older times.<ee> <es>I drank a lot and made enough jokes to avoid too much questions about me, I kept things very brief.<ee> <efs>We're meeting again soon in a bigger group and I'm stressed there will be more people wanting to know what I did in the time we haven't seen each other.<efe> <es>In reality I spend my teen years very depressed and suicidal, I was medicated and almost had to go to hospital.<ee> <es>I was quiet at school and didn't make much friends (and I lost contact with them now anyway),I was at the total of maybe 3 parties when I was in high school.<ee> <es>After school I either slept or watched YouTube, spent time on reddit.<ee> <es>I didn't develop any cool hobbies or talents, haven't visited any new places.<ee> <es>I've been going to therapy and have been doing better only since Christmas.<ee><efs>I feel absolutely pathetic and boring.<efe> <rs>The worst thing is that I really like my old friends and would love to know what they've been up to but I know to do that I'll have to open up too.<re> <rs>What do I do?<re> <rs>What do I talk about?<re> <rs>Do I lie or be honest?<re> <es>I haven't seen those people in a long time, I only told a little about my depression to two of the friends.<ee> <rs>I don't want to disappoint anyone or be seen as 'the depressed one'<re>
| 2 | 2 | 2 | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 222 |
elar0h
|
Tuesday January 7th
|
0
|
chitchat
| 1 |
Hello.
Went to a meeting last night then went for a walk.
I really like my life and I love my sobriety. But sometimes like I just get sad for no reason. I just start over thinking shit, and combining it with my depression is bad news.
We have a new lady at work. She's young. Like early 20s. All the ladies at my work are really into drinking and football. Hashtag the South. It's easy to feel lonely sometimes but that's just me being in my own head.
Today I'm greatful for my beautiful cats, my relationship with my parents, my job, my sobriety, and my best friend getting married
|
Splinter1591
| 1 | 0 | 23 |
2020-01-07 12:10:48
|
OpiatesRecovery
|
Hello. <es>Went to a meeting last night then went for a walk.<ee> <es>I really like my life and I love my sobriety.<ee> <efs>But sometimes like I just get sad for no reason.<efe> <efs>I just start over thinking shit, and combining it with my depression is bad news. <efe> We have a new lady at work. She's young. Like early 20s. <es>All the ladies at my work are really into drinking and football.<ee> Hashtag the South. <efs>It's easy to feel lonely sometimes but that's just me being in my own head. <efe> <efss>Today I'm greatful for my beautiful cats, my relationship with my parents, my job, my sobriety, and my best friend getting married<efe>
| 2 | 2 | 0 | null | null | null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you feel sudden sadness
| null | true | 220 |
ej1dlf
|
Burnt Out and Shutting Down
|
1b
|
rant
| 2 |
Hello All,
Quick backstory, I have GAD and PTSD that I manage wit therapy and a care plan. I’ve been managing it pretty well as compared to the past when I would just shut down, but today I’m having a rough day and I just need to get it out.
My partner has been having a difficult time for the past 6-8 weeks. We found out that one of their parents has cancer while the other is having health issues that may be cancer related. While that is rough enough, my partner has has been facing their own health issues. I’m extremely proud of my partner, but being their support has been hard at times, especially since I’m the one that gets the emotional ups and downs from them.
On top of that, I’ve had my own family issues with my maternal grandmother in the hospital (early stages of dementia) and a mom that’s dumping her emotions and anxiety onto her only kid...me. I’ve gotten to a point where I can only do 10 mins or l start to shake.
I’m dealing with a partner and a mom that are very heightened in their own issues and they both “dump” onto the person that is closest to them....me.
This has been like this for about 2 weeks, and now I’m starting to feel burnt out and want to shut down.
Last night after a intense call with my mom regarding my grandmother and already having had a long day because my partner was having a bad day, I was exhausted and I cried briefly in front of my partner. I explained was I was crying (my exhausting call with my mom) and my partner got mad and said that I always do this before bedtime (this was the first I heard of it). I was calm and said that was not fair (I didn’t go into detail, just said my grandma was diagnosed with dementia) and my partner’s response
“Well having (partner’s health issues)isn’t fair either”
That comment pushed me into a area where shutting down would be easy, but I have been working very hard not to, but it’s hard. I’m finding I can’t focus on things and I feel just disconnected today. I’m avoiding my moms calls today and I didn’t even want to talk to my partner. I’m working, but I’m struggling and the only way I can is by just disconnecting from myself, which with GAD and PTSD isn’t a healthy thing to do.
I know things will pass, but please tell me there are others that struggle with disconnecting.
|
louisebelcher21
| 1 | 0 | 2 |
2020-01-02 17:42:33
|
mentalillness
|
Hello All, <es>Quick backstory, I have GAD and PTSD that I manage wit therapy and a care plan.<ee> <rs>I’ve been managing it pretty well as compared to the past when I would just shut down, but today I’m having a rough day and I just need to get it out. <re> <es>My partner has been having a difficult time for the past 6-8 weeks.<ee> <es>We found out that one of their parents has cancer while the other is having health issues that may be cancer related.<ee> <es>While that is rough enough, my partner has has been facing their own health issues.<ee> <efs>I’m extremely proud of my partner, but being their support has been hard at times, especially since I’m the one that gets the emotional ups and downs from them.<efe> <es>On top of that, I’ve had my own family issues with my maternal grandmother in the hospital (early stages of dementia) and a mom that’s dumping her emotions and anxiety onto her only kid...me.<ee> <efs>I’ve gotten to a point where I can only do 10 mins or l start to shake.<efe> <es>I’m dealing with a partner and a mom that are very heightened in their own issues and they both “dump” onto the person that is closest to them....me. <ee> <efs>This has been like this for about 2 weeks, and now I’m starting to feel burnt out and want to shut down.<efe> <efs>Last night after a intense call with my mom regarding my grandmother and already having had a long day because my partner was having a bad day, I was exhausted and I cried briefly in front of my partner.<efe> I explained was I was crying (my exhausting call with my mom) and my partner got mad and said that I always do this before bedtime (this was the first I heard of it). I was calm and said that was not fair (I didn’t go into detail, just said my grandma was diagnosed with dementia) and my partner’s response “Well having (partner’s health issues)isn’t fair either” <efs>That comment pushed me into a area where shutting down would be easy, but I have been working very hard not to, but it’s hard.<efe> <efs>I’m finding I can’t focus on things and I feel just disconnected today.<efe> I’m avoiding my moms calls today and I didn’t even want to talk to my partner. <efs>I’m working, but I’m struggling and the only way I can is by just disconnecting from myself, which with GAD and PTSD isn’t a healthy thing to do.<efe> I know things will pass, but please tell me there are others that struggle with disconnecting.
| 2 | 2 | 1 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
what would help you overcome this feeling of disconection from everything
| null | true | 221 |
einvy0
|
So many things bringing me down right now
|
1a
|
rant
| 2 |
This is gonna be a long one.
So, I have always been prone to just overwhelming sadness, I dont like to say depressed. I was unemployed for like almost 2 years, while I worked on getting a degree in psychology. My wife paid the Bill's with her disability checks (shes legally blind) and somehow we always had enough to get everything out 2 daughters wanted. Well, our apartment turned to shit, they raised the rent and nasty new neighbors brought in bedbugs so we had to move. So, I had to drop out of college and become a truck driver. My wife and kids live her mom now and I hate it. Her mom and the rest of get family are moving to Alaska in may and giving us the house and property, so we are just gonna stay till then. But, we are never alone as a family someone is always around. I've told my wife and she does everything she can.
I hate driving the truck I feel so alone, I hate the driving it's so stressful, and it be honest I'm not good at it, thank god I havent had an accident YET. The paychecks are inconsistent, and I can't quit. Not until I save up enough money to float on until I have another job. Not that there are any jobs in the tiny place we live. I never have time for anything I'm home 4 days a month and it feels like nothing and when I'm on the truck I'm sleeping or driving. I hate it I never get to unwind I feel like I'm not making enough to provide for my family even though I'm working my ass off, I dont get to spent real time with them, I never get to see my friends, I dont like seeing the country if you can call driving that, and I couldnt find a job while I'm working if I wanted to. I am just stuck and miserable.
Idk if anyone will be able to follow this post and I dont know what the point if it is I just wish I could talk to somebody. And before u say it yes I talk to my wife about these things we just talked for like 3 hrs.
|
Chalvin0
| 1 | 0 | 3 |
2020-01-01 21:13:30
|
sad
|
This is gonna be a long one. <es>So, I have always been prone to just overwhelming sadness, I dont like to say depressed.<ee> <es>I was unemployed for like almost 2 years, while I worked on getting a degree in psychology.<ee> <es>My wife paid the Bill's with her disability checks (shes legally blind) and somehow we always had enough to get everything out 2 daughters wanted.<ee> <efs>Well, our apartment turned to shit, they raised the rent and nasty new neighbors brought in bedbugs so we had to move.<efe> <efs>So, I had to drop out of college and become a truck driver.<efe> <efs>My wife and kids live her mom now and I hate it.<efe> <es>Her mom and the rest of get family are moving to Alaska in may and giving us the house and property, so we are just gonna stay till then.<ee> <es>But, we are never alone as a family someone is always around.<ee> <es>I've told my wife and she does everything she can. <ee> <efs>I hate driving the truck I feel so alone, I hate the driving it's so stressful, and it be honest I'm not good at it, thank god I havent had an accident YET.<efe> <es>The paychecks are inconsistent, and I can't quit.<ee> <es>Not until I save up enough money to float on until I have another job.<ee> <es>Not that there are any jobs in the tiny place we live.<ee> <efs>I never have time for anything I'm home 4 days a month and it feels like nothing and when I'm on the truck I'm sleeping or driving.<efe> <efs>I hate it I never get to unwind I feel like I'm not making enough to provide for my family even though I'm working my ass off, I dont get to spent real time with them, I never get to see my friends, I dont like seeing the country if you can call driving that, and I couldnt find a job while I'm working if I wanted to.<efe> <efs>I am just stuck and miserable.<efe> Idk if anyone will be able to follow this post and I dont know what the point if it is I just wish I could talk to somebody. And before u say it yes I talk to my wife about these things we just talked for like 3 hrs.
| 2 | 2 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you hate your job
| null | true | 220 |
eirkbc
|
Trying to decrease my plastic waste but having trouble buying a more environmentally friendly razor blade.
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 1 |
Cw: razor blades.
Hey everyone!
I want to reduce my plastic waste but I’m scared to buy a safety razor with blade refills because I feel like it’ll be too easy to relapse or go too deep.
I haven’t cut in months and am doing good with other coping mechanisms but fear I’ll relapse if I have it readily accessible.
The only blades I have right now are from really bad disposable razors that I took apart. They don’t cut deep. I think part of the reason I stopped was it wasn’t going deep enough anymore. But keeping other options away has seemed to help.
Does anyone know of any environmentally friendly alternatives that wouldn’t come with a pack of sharp blades? I’m at a loss for ideas.
Thanks for reading :)
|
h8pepsi
| 1 | 0 | 4 |
2020-01-02 02:04:27
|
selfharm
|
<es>Cw: razor blades.<ee> Hey everyone! <es>I want to reduce my plastic waste but I’m scared to buy a safety razor with blade refills because I feel like it’ll be too easy to relapse or go too deep.<ee> <es>I haven’t cut in months and am doing good with other coping mechanisms but fear I’ll relapse if I have it readily accessible. <ee> <es>The only blades I have right now are from really bad disposable razors that I took apart.<ee> <es>They don’t cut deep.<ee> <es>I think part of the reason I stopped was it wasn’t going deep enough anymore.<ee> <es>But keeping other options away has seemed to help. <ee> <rs>Does anyone know of any environmentally friendly alternatives that wouldn’t come with a pack of sharp blades?<re> <es>I’m at a loss for ideas. <ee> Thanks for reading :)
| 1 | 0 | 2 |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
why you cut yourself
|
How did X make you feel?
|
cutting yourself
| null | null | null | true | 102 |
ei8lzo
|
What do you struggle to accept an article on self acceptance
|
0
|
chitchat
| 1 |
“What do you struggle to accept?” by Sandy Pace https://link.medium.com/EQuAEEz3O2
|
Sandy_Pace
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
2019-12-31 20:47:53
|
selfhelp
|
“What do you struggle to accept?” by Sandy Pace https://link.medium.com/EQuAEEz3O2
| 0 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
Not a post
| true | 0 |
eoxncz
|
Habit of breaking my things
|
1a
|
rant
| 2 |
I get extremely frustrated when things don't go my way. I hate investing time into things and either losing for just plain sucking at what ever it is. Unfortunately both of those happen often, which leads to me throwing or breaking my things.
I'm a fan of a little videogames in my free time, but I lose so much and honestly feel cursed half the time with out much I suck. Rarely I'll have good games which are awesome... Followed by a marathon of bad games that gets my blood boiling. I usually have to play on easy or normal cause anything higher, I'll have nothing left in my name.
Some other examples is just whenever I feel like an idiot or when I can't remember something I should know, I'll bust out of a room or throw something, for example my fishing pole. I broke it in half when I couldn't remember how to tie a knot I've done a bunch of times. I feel like my mind's always foggy. My memory is trash and I'm only 26. It's been this way for as long as I can remember. Struggled in school my whole life. Main reason I didn't go to college or haven't yet is because of it and being a bad test taker. I refuse to play trivia games and other guessing games, because of my bad memory. Often I get told I look confused and it hurts because being an idiot and not feeling good enough is a touchy subject, where that's when I'll usual say something I'll regret or storm out a room.
So badely I want to be smart and feel equal to my friends or coworkers. I'm tired of being the quiet one due to not knowing how to have a full conversation or know what to talk about. I just get awkward and avoid eye contact. I like to think of my self generally as a nice you or caring. Just sometimes my insecurities get the best of me.
|
TimberLite
| 1 | 0 | 1 |
2020-01-15 04:50:58
|
Anger
|
<es>I get extremely frustrated when things don't go my way.<ee> <efs>I hate investing time into things and either losing for just plain sucking at what ever it is.<efe> <es>Unfortunately both of those happen often, which leads to me throwing or breaking my things. <ee> <efs>I'm a fan of a little videogames in my free time, but I lose so much and honestly feel cursed half the time with out much I suck.<efe> <es>Rarely I'll have good games which are awesome... Followed by a marathon of bad games that gets my blood boiling.<ee> I usually have to play on easy or normal cause anything higher, I'll have nothing left in my name. <efs>Some other examples is just whenever I feel like an idiot or when I can't remember something I should know, I'll bust out of a room or throw something, for example my fishing pole.<efe> <es>I broke it in half when I couldn't remember how to tie a knot I've done a bunch of times.<ee> <efs>I feel like my mind's always foggy.<efe> <es>My memory is trash and I'm only 26.<ee> <es>It's been this way for as long as I can remember.<ee> <es>Struggled in school my whole life.<ee> Main reason I didn't go to college or haven't yet is because of it and being a bad test taker. I refuse to play trivia games and other guessing games, because of my bad memory. <efs>Often I get told I look confused and it hurts because being an idiot and not feeling good enough is a touchy subject, where that's when I'll usual say something I'll regret or storm out a room. <efe> <rs>So badely I want to be smart and feel equal to my friends or coworkers.<re> <efs>I'm tired of being the quiet one due to not knowing how to have a full conversation or know what to talk about.<efe> <es>I just get awkward and avoid eye contact.<ee> I like to think of my self generally as a nice you or caring. <es>Just sometimes my insecurities get the best of me.<ee>
| 2 | 2 | 1 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
what would help overcome your insecurities
| null | true | 221 |
exaoz3
|
I think my brother is in an abusive relationship
|
1b
|
help-seeking
| 2 |
My brother is in his 30s, and lives with his girlfriend and their 6 year old daughter.
I recently moved about 300 miles away, so I'm not as able to be physically there as I'd like.
His girlfriend has always been really demanding - she works 2 half days a week, he works 6 days a week and has a good job as a chef. His girlfriend is incredibly untidy (as in, every room is piled with washing and rubbish, bags of receipts, old baby clothes etc) to the point I've not been in their house for over 3 years because they won't let anyone in. He spends most of his time off work tidying the house, and I know my parents have also helped really regularly. He's often mentioned that when he tidies up, she is verbally abusive. When I lived closer we used to take my neice swimming every week. His girlfriend would phone multiple times before, while we were there (after swimming he'd have multiple missed calls) and after, to check where he was, what he planned on doing when, and when he'd be home.
Recently he's not been in contact much, but has started using WhatsApp to speak to me, because she has gained access to all his social media and regularly checks his phone. He chats to me for a few minutes then deleted the app because he's scared of her.
She threatens to leave him and take their daughter constantly so she gets her own way (I suspect this is usually financial). He's too scared to do anything because he doesn't want to lose his daughter. His girlfriend is originally from Hungary, and he is based in the UK.
I don't know how to help or what to do, but he's told me he's scared and desperately unhappy.
|
milllllllk
| 1 | 0 | 4 |
2020-02-01 18:51:43
|
domesticviolence
|
<es>My brother is in his 30s, and lives with his girlfriend and their 6 year old daughter.<ee> <es>I recently moved about 300 miles away, so I'm not as able to be physically there as I'd like.<ee> <es>His girlfriend has always been really demanding - she works 2 half days a week, he works 6 days a week and has a good job as a chef.<ee> <es>His girlfriend is incredibly untidy (as in, every room is piled with washing and rubbish, bags of receipts, old baby clothes etc) to the point I've not been in their house for over 3 years because they won't let anyone in.<ee> <es>He spends most of his time off work tidying the house, and I know my parents have also helped really regularly.<ee> <es>He's often mentioned that when he tidies up, she is verbally abusive.<ee> <es>When I lived closer we used to take my neice swimming every week.<ee> <es>His girlfriend would phone multiple times before, while we were there (after swimming he'd have multiple missed calls) and after, to check where he was, what he planned on doing when, and when he'd be home. <ee> <es>Recently he's not been in contact much, but has started using WhatsApp to speak to me, because she has gained access to all his social media and regularly checks his phone.<ee> <es>He chats to me for a few minutes then deleted the app because he's scared of her.<ee> <es>She threatens to leave him and take their daughter constantly so she gets her own way (I suspect this is usually financial).<ee> <es>He's too scared to do anything because he doesn't want to lose his daughter.<ee> <es>His girlfriend is originally from Hungary, and he is based in the UK. <ee> <es>I don't know how to help or what to do, but he's told me he's scared and desperately unhappy.<ee>
| 2 | 0 | 0 | null | null |
How did X make you feel?
|
your brother's girlfriend's actions
|
What do you need help with now that X?
|
your brother is scared of his girlfriend
| null | true | 200 |
erjlny
|
Guess I'm not a virgin anymore¯\_(ツ)_/¯
|
0
|
rant
| 1 |
Idk how to feel it's been a fucked up week. So much feelings. I haven't been to school. The police said I can't press charges. I'm still bleeding. Told my mom today, she went with me to my appointment to check for std's. I just can't cry about it. I'm so tired of everything. He took away the last bit of innocence I had.
|
GVBeestje
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
2020-01-20 21:01:16
|
rapecounseling
|
<es>Guess I'm not a virgin anymore¯_(ツ)_/¯<ee> <efs>Idk how to feel it's been a fucked up week.<efe> <efs>So much feelings.<efe> <es>I haven't been to school.<ee> <es>The police said I can't press charges.<ee> <es>I'm still bleeding.<ee> <es> Told my mom today, she went with me to my appointment to check for std's.<ee> <efs>I just can't cry about it.<efe> <efs>I'm so tired of everything.<efe> <es>He took away the last bit of innocence I had.<ee>
| 1 | 2 | 0 |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
why you can't press charges
| null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you are unable to press charges against him
| null | true | 120 |
eipzks
|
Anybody else feel like they're sick more often than non-anxious people?
|
0
|
help-seeking
| 1 |
My husband says I'm sick more often than is normal whether by viruses or migraines. One of my doctors told me once that anxiety can cause this either by weakening your immune system or making you feel those icky stress headaches and stomachaches and what have you.
Just wondering if anyone else experiences this and if so any tips to staying healthy?
|
Sweet0ptimisms
| 1 | 0 | 8 |
2020-01-01 23:57:57
|
Anxiety
|
<es>My husband says I'm sick more often than is normal whether by viruses or migraines.<ee> <es>One of my doctors told me once that anxiety can cause this either by weakening your immune system or making you feel those icky stress headaches and stomachaches and what have you.<ee> <rs>Just wondering if anyone else experiences this and if so any tips to staying healthy?<re>
| 2 | 0 | 2 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null |
How did X make you feel?
|
your anxiety
| null | null | null | true | 202 |
ekh4nt
|
Spoilers for Better Call Saul.. But I didn’t even think I had PTSD until I watched the second to last episode
|
1a
|
chitchat
| 1 |
It’s been two years since I fell asleep at the wheel after an all nighter for high school and smashed into a tree going 45, and it had me rattled for a good few months after it happened but I figured I was over it after that. I haven’t had any issues with PTSD or anything, but I was watching the second to last episode of Better Call Saul and one of the characters had been pushing herself at work and she fell asleep at the wheel and crashed, and the way they executed it was so real I just started hyperventilating and crying for the good part of a half hour. I don’t know why I’m posting my experience here I guess it’s just nice to know there’s a community of people who can understand it because at the time I had no idea what was happening. Thank you guys
|
Beanheaderry
| 1 | 0 | 2 |
2020-01-05 18:48:05
|
ptsd
|
<es>It’s been two years since I fell asleep at the wheel after an all nighter for high school and smashed into a tree going 45, and it had me rattled for a good few months after it happened but I figured I was over it after that.<ee> <es>I haven’t had any issues with PTSD or anything, but I was watching the second to last episode of Better Call Saul and one of the characters had been pushing herself at work and she fell asleep at the wheel and crashed, and the way they executed it was so real I just started hyperventilating and crying for the good part of a half hour.<ee> I don’t know why I’m posting my experience here I guess it’s just nice to know there’s a community of people who can understand it because at the time I had no idea what was happening. Thank you guys
| 2 | 0 | 0 | null | null |
How did X make you feel?
|
the flashback
|
What do you need help with now that X?
|
the flashback made you cry
| null | true | 200 |
eifhz1
|
I haven’t cut for a month but i don’t feel any better
|
1a
|
rant
| 1 |
I guess i only didn’t because i would feel guilty putting my family through that near Christmas but honestly i feel worse because some of my scars are starting to fade and it feels like without them people have less of a reason to care about what im going through not that anyone does
|
Felton5211
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
2020-01-01 07:10:36
|
selfharm
|
<es>I haven’t cut for a month but i don’t feel any better<ee> <efs>I guess i only didn’t because i would feel guilty putting my family through that near Christmas but honestly i feel worse because some of my scars are starting to fade and it feels like without them people have less of a reason to care about what im going through not that anyone does<efe>
| 1 | 2 | 0 |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
why you don't feel any better
| null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you don't feel better after stopping self harm
| null | true | 120 |
eipt2i
|
Anyone else believe they have this disorder from childhood bereavement?
|
0
|
survey
| 1 |
My father died when I was a pre teen. Always felt this heavily contributed to my development of bpd
|
IodineSky111
| 1 | 0 | 5 |
2020-01-01 23:43:21
|
BPD
|
<es>My father died when I was a pre teen.<ee> <es>Always felt this heavily contributed to my development of bpd<ee> <rs>Anyone else believe they have this disorder from childhood bereavement?<re>
| 2 | 0 | 1 | null | null |
How did X make you feel?
|
your bpd
|
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
what can help you deal with bpd
| null | true | 201 |
eircum
|
To Something Better
|
0
|
chitchat
| 2 |
Been having the burning desire to write my first post since yesterday. Not entirely sure why. It might be that I’m using this newfound hope to gain momentum moving forward. Or it also could be just a reminder for myself in dark days ahead. Or maybe it could serve to inspire more hope for myself and for all. Maybe all of the above?
2019 was quite the year for me. To no surprise, it was full of meaningful memories, learning experience, love, and of course a lot of pain. Last year, for example, I finally sought professional and started confronting my past. These are just meme initial steps in seems to be life-long process, but to my surprise, I now realized 2019 was also very enlightening, possibly on a life-changing scale.
Because despite all my problems. Despite the broken family, feeling abandoned, or self hate, down to hating my parents for their past emotional/physical abuses, and how my relationships had been as of late, I still somehow managed to find hope even in dark moments, and accepted it willingly for the first.
Despite our afflictions, personal traumas, and problems, I want to remind everyone, including myself, of the one person we’ve mostly ignored - YOU. No matter how tough life has been, YOU are the only person not worth the blame or hate.
It took a lot of time and effort me to get to this point, so please remember to be kind to yourself. Give yourself a pat or even a break once in awhile. After all, we’ve gotten this far, so we NEED to feel grateful in order to go forward. Right now, even if the future feels uncertain, at least it doesn’t feel so grim like before. Who know? Perhaps we might be to able to turn our life around just yet. Until that happens, don’t give up. Cherish your friends, and thank them, but more importantly, remember yourself and your importance in all of this.
I hope this year will be kinder to us all.
|
Chairatcc
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
2020-01-02 01:47:16
|
Anger
|
Been having the burning desire to write my first post since yesterday. Not entirely sure why. It might be that I’m using this newfound hope to gain momentum moving forward. Or it also could be just a reminder for myself in dark days ahead. Or maybe it could serve to inspire more hope for myself and for all. Maybe all of the above? 2019 was quite the year for me. To no surprise, it was full of meaningful memories, learning experience, love, and of course a lot of pain. Last year, for example, I finally sought professional and started confronting my past. These are just meme initial steps in seems to be life-long process, but to my surprise, I now realized 2019 was also very enlightening, possibly on a life-changing scale. Because despite all my problems. Despite the broken family, feeling abandoned, or self hate, down to hating my parents for their past emotional/physical abuses, and how my relationships had been as of late, I still somehow managed to find hope even in dark moments, and accepted it willingly for the first. Despite our afflictions, personal traumas, and problems, I want to remind everyone, including myself, of the one person we’ve mostly ignored - YOU. No matter how tough life has been, YOU are the only person not worth the blame or hate. It took a lot of time and effort me to get to this point, so please remember to be kind to yourself. Give yourself a pat or even a break once in awhile. After all, we’ve gotten this far, so we NEED to feel grateful in order to go forward. Right now, even if the future feels uncertain, at least it doesn’t feel so grim like before. Who know? Perhaps we might be to able to turn our life around just yet. Until that happens, don’t give up. Cherish your friends, and thank them, but more importantly, remember yourself and your importance in all of this. I hope this year will be kinder to us all.
| 0 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
positive
| true | 0 |
en41xj
|
Leaving
|
1b
|
rant
| 1 |
I met my husband in middle school. We got married young (19, I’m now 23 & he’s 25). I’ve loved him deeply for a very long time and I’ve always known I wanted to be with him forever. He is completely emotionally abusive and hits me when his temper is beyond control. Our friends found out via someone else who saw my post in a FB group, and they sat me down to talk and help. A weight has been lifted off my chest and I’ve finally opened up about it to friends and family. I’m saving some more money for the drive then leaving to another state where I have family. I’m going to start over in a brand new place living alone and adopt a dog and cat, because he forced me to give up all 4 animals we’ve had. I love my husband, but now I see the person he truly is and I can’t look at him the same anymore. Here’s to a new me and a new life.
|
Inevitable-Button
| 1 | 0 | 11 |
2020-01-11 06:37:43
|
domesticviolence
|
<es>I met my husband in middle school.<ee> <es>We got married young (19, I’m now 23 & he’s 25).<ee> <es>I’ve loved him deeply for a very long time and I’ve always known I wanted to be with him forever.<ee> <es>He is completely emotionally abusive and hits me when his temper is beyond control.<ee> <es>Our friends found out via someone else who saw my post in a FB group, and they sat me down to talk and help.<ee> <es>A weight has been lifted off my chest and I’ve finally opened up about it to friends and family.<ee> <es>I’m saving some more money for the drive then leaving to another state where I have family.<ee> <es>I’m going to start over in a brand new place living alone and adopt a dog and cat, because he forced me to give up all 4 animals we’ve had.<ee> <es>I love my husband, but now I see the person he truly is and I can’t look at him the same anymore.<ee> Here’s to a new me and a new life.
| 2 | 0 | 0 | null | null |
How did X make you feel?
|
your husband's abuse
|
What do you need help with now that X?
|
planning to start a new life
| null | true | 200 |
ekbkze
|
So true
|
0
|
chitchat
| 4 | null |
mofifa16
| 42 | 0 | 16 |
2020-01-05 10:52:12
|
socialanxiety
| null | 0 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
random
| true | 0 |
epv92l
|
are benzos worth it?
|
0
|
help-seeking
| 1 |
I’ve taken lexapro and Effexor for anxiety, and neither have helped. If anything my anxiety is worse. The only med that has helped me with anxiety is klonopin, however I switched psychiatrists and my new one took me off of it because I am a minor (17) and it is highly addictive. Should I try to get prescribed it again? My anxiety is so bad that maybe it’s worth getting an addiction for.
|
zuxanax
| 1 | 0 | 6 |
2020-01-17 04:15:20
|
mentalillness
|
<es>I’ve taken lexapro and Effexor for anxiety, and neither have helped.<ee> <es>If anything my anxiety is worse.<ee> <es>The only med that has helped me with anxiety is klonopin, however I switched psychiatrists and my new one took me off of it because I am a minor (17) and it is highly addictive.<ee> <rs>Should I try to get prescribed it again?<re> <es>My anxiety is so bad that maybe it’s worth getting an addiction for.<ee>
| 1 | 0 | 2 |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
what causes you anxiety
|
How did X make you feel?
|
klonopin
| null | null | null | true | 102 |
eiavu6
|
just relapsed bc of instagram
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 1 |
Kinda pathetic rlly on news years eve with my family.
I went on instagram after a while and just lost it seeing everyone so happy with all friends (how do they have so many friends?). I'm really dumb I know those kinds of things trigger me hardcore but I guess I just wanna feel upset. Idk thx for reading if u do I guess
|
fchang11
| 1 | 0 | 3 |
2019-12-31 23:50:46
|
selfharm
|
<es>Kinda pathetic rlly on news years eve with my family. <ee> <es>I went on instagram after a while and just lost it seeing everyone so happy with all friends (how do they have so many friends?).<ee> <efs>I'm really dumb I know those kinds of things trigger me hardcore but I guess I just wanna feel upset.<efe> Idk thx for reading if u do I guess
| 1 | 2 | 0 |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
why you are feeling pathetic
| null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you are feeling upset after seeing instagram
| null | true | 120 |
eiavur
|
Used drugs... hard. Feeling shame, guilt, self-loathing, extreme depression.
|
1a
|
rant
| 2 |
I'm 20, I am not an addict or alcoholic, but I have a substance abuse disorder. I sometimes take drugs and/or alcohol to cope, and have been doing so for around 3 and a half years.
I went on a trip with my dad and brother and I know it's not an excuse but the way they treated me made me anxious and I used. I got told to "shit the fuck up" by my brother for asking him and my dad to stop yelling. I was just generally treated like shit, my dad was constantly yelling at me and my brother is a bully who constantly puts me down and makes me feel like shit while my dad says nothing.
I was hundreds of miles from home and I just got out of an abusive relationship of 4 years and got kicked out of school with the compounding factors of the aforementioned, PTSD from my brother beating me, depression and anxiety with agoraphobia, and my sister dying a few months ago.
I used 3 different kinds of pills and drank alcohol. I was not sober a single day I was there, or in the car.
I'm seriously hating myself right now and I feel like a piece of shit. I have friends I'm meeting tonight and I wonder what they would think of me going on a bender like this.
My only goal for 2020 is to not use... I'm not addicted but I do this sometimes and this trip I went particularly hard. I don't want to do anything for fun, even. I don't want to smoke weed. I will drink socially but I can't use drugs. I need to learn to deal with this on my own. All this is doing is setting me back, and making me a terrible person, a liar and a thief.
My heart really hurts...
|
Fragrant-Breadfruit
| 1 | 0 | 1 |
2019-12-31 23:50:48
|
depression
|
<es>Used drugs... hard.<ee> <efs>Feeling shame, guilt, self-loathing, extreme depression.<efe> <es>I'm 20, I am not an addict or alcoholic, but I have a substance abuse disorder.<ee> <es>I sometimes take drugs and/or alcohol to cope, and have been doing so for around 3 and a half years.<ee> <efs>I went on a trip with my dad and brother and I know it's not an excuse but the way they treated me made me anxious and I used.<efe> I got told to "shit the fuck up" by my brother for asking him and my dad to stop yelling. <es>I was just generally treated like shit, my dad was constantly yelling at me and my brother is a bully who constantly puts me down and makes me feel like shit while my dad says nothing.<ee> <es>I was hundreds of miles from home and I just got out of an abusive relationship of 4 years and got kicked out of school with the compounding factors of the aforementioned, PTSD from my brother beating me, depression and anxiety with agoraphobia, and my sister dying a few months ago.<ee> <es>I used 3 different kinds of pills and drank alcohol.<ee> <es>I was not sober a single day I was there, or in the car.<ee> <efs>I'm seriously hating myself right now and I feel like a piece of shit.<efs> I have friends I'm meeting tonight and I wonder what they would think of me going on a bender like this. <rs>My only goal for 2020 is to not use...<re> <es>I'm not addicted but I do this sometimes and this trip I went particularly hard.<ee> <rs>I don't want to do anything for fun, even.<re> <rs>I don't want to smoke weed.<re> <rs>I will drink socially but I can't use drugs.<re> <rs>I need to learn to deal with this on my own.<re> All this is doing is setting me back, and making me a terrible person, a liar and a thief. <efs>My heart really hurts...<efe>
| 2 | 2 | 2 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
title
| true | 222 |
elk9yf
|
I never get to see him again
|
1c
|
rant
| 1 | null |
kingofthysufferings
| 1 | 0 | 3 |
2020-01-08 00:04:37
|
sad
|
<es>I never get to see him again<ee> nan
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
why you never get to see him
|
How did X make you feel?
|
not being able to see him again
|
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you will not be able to see him again
| null | true | 100 |
eq9366
|
Swap one addiction, for another addiction. Its all in the mind, positive addictions/negative addictions..? What did you do before opiates, that made you feel alive... We all know the feeling of, enjoying a time when we were sober minded, thinking this is better than any drug earth can give.. Chase
|
0
|
chitchat
| 1 | null |
Mcoyle777
| 1 | 0 | 6 |
2020-01-18 00:23:41
|
OpiatesRecovery
| null | 0 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
random
| true | 0 |
ej8dug
|
I hate feeling like I'm stupid and that I screw up the simplest things
|
1b
|
rant
| 3 |
I have been working for my dad's construction company over this Christmas break. My main job has been assisting my older brother, who has worked directly under my dad for quite awhile. He knows how to do this shit. He's always been the creative one that is able to build things, knows his way around a toolkit, and knows how to talk to people just right. I'm... not. I seem to fuck up the tiniest things and he gets understandably a bit frustrated. He tries to teach me how to do these things but I simply cannot. I learn very slow and it doesn't help that I have the added pressure of him watching over me. On top of this, I'm the son of the company owner. I have to look good... which puts more pressure on me and causes me to fuck up even more.
This has caused me to get so goddamn scatterbrained that I end up messing up the tiniest things. I'll misinterpret basic instructions, screw up The worst of these mistakes happened today and sent me into a downward spiral. I was told by my brother to call an inspector for a house that we had been working on. Again, all the pressure and stress just attacked me. I called them up and tried to leave a voicemail, but I got tongue tied due to the stress and then looked at my brother and said "Shit, I fucked up how do I rerecord it?" He hung it up for me and said I only had one chance- only for me to later learn that yes you can fucking rerecord a voicemail so nothing had to go this way.
So the inspector got an incomplete, vulgar voicemail from the son of the goddamn company. And none of this had to happen. My brother had to call them back because my nerves were so shot by this whole thing that I could not bring myself to try again. And the worst part is I felt judged during the whole thing despite the fact he should know what this stuff is like since hes experienced it.
&#x200B;
I think my anxiety got far worse after my last summer job. My dad was able to get me the job since he helped build the place, which seemed to piss off the management. They just did not like me from the start. From day one during training I was yelled at by the manager when I did not get things right- DESPITE IT BEING FUCKING TRAINING. Every shift someone would yell at me for something extremely trivial. On top of this, I was given a demotion with no announcement while one of my coworkers took my last job. I was barely scheduled, which caused me to struggle financially this past semester. The icing on the cake was when I cut my finger open on the last day and wasn't sent home until an hour after it happened when I told my manager that I probably needed stitches. I also never received workers comp despite the fact my finger could barely bend for some time and is still a bit tense. When I came in the following day to get my last pay check, my manager did not even acknowledge anything happened despite me still having a cast on my hand.
When you spend a whole summer being severely devalued and treated like shit, you start to almost believe it. It makes you feel like you can't do much of anything right, and then this lack of confidence causes you to be more likely to screw up. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy.
|
letitallllout
| 1 | 0 | 2 |
2020-01-03 02:04:20
|
socialanxiety
|
<es>I have been working for my dad's construction company over this Christmas break.<ee> <es>My main job has been assisting my older brother, who has worked directly under my dad for quite awhile.<ee> <es>He knows how to do this shit.<ee> <es>He's always been the creative one that is able to build things, knows his way around a toolkit, and knows how to talk to people just right.<ee> <es>I'm... not.<ee> <es>I seem to fuck up the tiniest things and he gets understandably a bit frustrated.<ee> <es>He tries to teach me how to do these things but I simply cannot.<ee> <es>I learn very slow and it doesn't help that I have the added pressure of him watching over me.<ee> <es>On top of this, I'm the son of the company owner.<ee> <es>I have to look good... which puts more pressure on me and causes me to fuck up even more. <ee> <es>This has caused me to get so goddamn scatterbrained that I end up messing up the tiniest things. I'll misinterpret basic instructions, screw up .<ee> <es>The worst of these mistakes happened today and sent me into a downward spiral.<ee> <es>I was told by my brother to call an inspector for a house that we had been working on.<ee> <es>Again, all the pressure and stress just attacked me.<ee> <es>I called them up and tried to leave a voicemail, but I got tongue tied due to the stress and then looked at my brother and said "Shit, I fucked up how do I rerecord it?"<ee> <es>He hung it up for me and said I only had one chance- only for me to later learn that yes you can fucking rerecord a voicemail so nothing had to go this way. <ee> <es>So the inspector got an incomplete, vulgar voicemail from the son of the goddamn company.<ee> <es>And none of this had to happen.<ee> <es>My brother had to call them back because my nerves were so shot by this whole thing that I could not bring myself to try again.<ee> <efs>And the worst part is I felt judged during the whole thing despite the fact he should know what this stuff is like since hes experienced it. <efe> &#x200B; <es>I think my anxiety got far worse after my last summer job.<ee> <es>My dad was able to get me the job since he helped build the place, which seemed to piss off the management.<ee> <es>They just did not like me from the start.<ee> <es>From day one during training I was yelled at by the manager when I did not get things right- DESPITE IT BEING FUCKING TRAINING.<ee> <es>Every shift someone would yell at me for something extremely trivial.<ee> <es>On top of this, I was given a demotion with no announcement while one of my coworkers took my last job.<ee> <es>I was barely scheduled, which caused me to struggle financially this past semester.<ee> <es>The icing on the cake was when I cut my finger open on the last day and wasn't sent home until an hour after it happened when I told my manager that I probably needed stitches.<ee> <es>I also never received workers comp despite the fact my finger could barely bend for some time and is still a bit tense.<ee> <es>When I came in the following day to get my last pay check, my manager did not even acknowledge anything happened despite me still having a cast on my hand. <ee> <es>When you spend a whole summer being severely devalued and treated like shit, you start to almost believe it.<ee> <es>It makes you feel like you can't do much of anything right, and then this lack of confidence causes you to be more likely to screw up.<ee> It's a self-fulfilling prophecy.
| 2 | 2 | 0 | null | null | null | null |
What can help you overcome X ?
|
the feeling of being unable to do anything
| null | true | 220 |
einad9
|
Door slamming and other "angry" noises
|
1b
|
rant
| 1 |
A few weeks ago I moved into a house already occupied by a couple, and was told it would be quiet-- but it isn't. My flatmates are nice, but they are rough on the house and there is constant door slamming, stomping, yelling to each other, random people in and out. I thought I was way past this, but I guess I hadn't been back in an environment like this since my last traumatic incident. I don't know how to calm myself with the constant noise. I have just noticed lately that I am holding so much tension in my body and there is this heaviness in my stomach. I plan to move, but obviously cannot do so so soon after moving in. I just don't know how to make myself comfortable. It makes me feel like I am back at home and someone is storming around waiting to explode, or barge in and start screaming at me. The "anger" I hear in these noises has completely coloured my perception of other things they do and I have to remind myself that someone making a mess, or not being extra friendly is NOT a sign of aggression.
|
polkadotcroc
| 1 | 0 | 8 |
2020-01-01 20:29:03
|
ptsd
|
<es>A few weeks ago I moved into a house already occupied by a couple, and was told it would be quiet-- but it isn't.<ee> <es> My flatmates are nice, but they are rough on the house and there is constant door slamming, stomping, yelling to each other, random people in and out.<ee> <es>I thought I was way past this, but I guess I hadn't been back in an environment like this since my last traumatic incident.<ee> <es>I don't know how to calm myself with the constant noise.<ee> <efs>I have just noticed lately that I am holding so much tension in my body and there is this heaviness in my stomach.<efe> <es>I plan to move, but obviously cannot do so so soon after moving in.<ee> <es>I just don't know how to make myself comfortable.<ee> <efs>It makes me feel like I am back at home and someone is storming around waiting to explode, or barge in and start screaming at me.<efe> <es>The "anger" I hear in these noises has completely coloured my perception of other things they do and I have to remind myself that someone making a mess, or not being extra friendly is NOT a sign of aggression.<ee>
| 2 | 2 | 0 | null | null | null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you are upset by the angry noises of neighbours
| null | true | 220 |
eic35h
|
What’s your go-to excuse when others point out your scars?
|
0
|
survey
| 1 | null |
SilentAvocado
| 1 | 0 | 14 |
2020-01-01 01:30:07
|
selfharm
|
<rs>What’s your go-to excuse when others point out your scars?<re> nan
| 0 | 0 | 2 |
What happened that you want X ?
|
excuses for your scars
|
Why are you wanting X ?
|
to cover up your scars
| null | null | null | true | 2 |
ej8xvc
|
Tw
|
0
|
survey
| 1 |
does anyone elses main cutting kinda numb to cuts like your skin is used to it ? I started cutting on my left thigh and they bruised and are more raised and sensitive while the ones on my right (main cutting area) dont hurt or anything like I dont feel them at all
|
scrtlybrkn
| 1 | 0 | 2 |
2020-01-03 02:47:16
|
selfharm
|
<es>does anyone elses main cutting kinda numb to cuts like your skin is used to it ?<ee> <es>I started cutting on my left thigh and they bruised and are more raised and sensitive while the ones on my right (main cutting area) dont hurt or anything like I dont feel them at all<ee>
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
why did you start cutting
|
How did X make you feel?
|
cutting your left thigh
|
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you don't feel your main cuts
| null | true | 100 |
ej57bm
|
I relapsed today.
|
1a
|
rant
| 1 |
I’ve been clean for years. Like 8 years. I’m 31 and recently engaged to a great guy. I’m on 3 separate psych meds. But my mom and I had a fight today about wedding stuff, our third since I got engaged in mid December. She isn’t speaking to me. She’s always been the cornerstone of my life and it pushed me over the edge. I told my fiancé I needed a hot shower to cry it out, and my eyebrow razor was on the sink calling to me. Suicide was also breathing down my neck so I decided to cut instead.
I hate how I instantly feel better. I did small shallowish cuts on my hip because I know I can hide them from my fiancé. I instantly stopped crying. Instantly felt the stress go down the drain with the blood.
I hate that I’m like this.
|
anf2316
| 2 | 0 | 6 |
2020-01-02 22:09:30
|
selfharm
|
<es>I’ve been clean for years.<ee> <es> Like 8 years.<ee> <es> I’m 31 and recently engaged to a great guy.<ee> <es> I’m on 3 separate psych meds.<ee> <es> But my mom and I had a fight today about wedding stuff, our third since I got engaged in mid December. <ee> <es>She isn’t speaking to me. <ee> <es>She’s always been the cornerstone of my life and it pushed me over the edge.<ee> <es> I told my fiancé I needed a hot shower to cry it out, and my eyebrow razor was on the sink calling to me.<ee> <es> Suicide was also breathing down my neck so I decided to cut instead. <ee> <efs>I hate how I instantly feel better.<efe> <es>I did small shallowish cuts on my hip because I know I can hide them from my fiancé.<ee> <es> I instantly stopped crying. <ee> <efs>Instantly felt the stress go down the drain with the blood.<efe> <efs>I hate that I’m like this.<efe>
| 2 | 2 | 0 | null | null | null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
|
the fight with your mom triggered you
| null | true | 220 |
ejzh5k
|
🙈🙈🙈
|
0
|
chitchat
| 5 | null |
foronemoreday
| 941 | 0 | 9 |
2020-01-04 17:28:32
|
socialanxiety
| null | 0 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
random
| true | 0 |
erkbts
|
I just blew up again
|
1c
|
rant
| 1 |
I started with breaking a coat hanger. Then I pushed my coffee maker a little to hard against the wall. Broke the outlet faceplate. Then I went into the garage and started to stab my toolbox with a screwdriver. Then I took the hammer out of my tool box and started to break my work bench (which is now half demolished. Then I took 4 speakers in the garage and smashed them on the floor. I’m so fucked up. I feel the rage inside every ducking day. If I’m not angry , I’m depressed. If not depressed I’m just blah. I hate living like this. The older I get the worse it becomes. I’m to the tipping point of just leaving. I can’t stand people. I’m always disappointed in them. No matter the dynamics.
|
Gdroid5
| 1 | 0 | 32 |
2020-01-20 21:50:39
|
Anger
|
<es>I started with breaking a coat hanger.<ee> <es>Then I pushed my coffee maker a little to hard against the wall.<ee> <es>Broke the outlet faceplate.<ee> <es>Then I went into the garage and started to stab my toolbox with a screwdriver.<ee> <es>Then I took the hammer out of my tool box and started to break my work bench (which is now half demolished. <ee> <es>Then I took 4 speakers in the garage and smashed them on the floor. <ee> <es>I’m so fucked up. <ee> <efs>I feel the rage inside every ducking day. <efe> <efs>If I’m not angry , I’m depressed.<efe> If not depressed I’m just blah. <efs>I hate living like this.<efe> <es>The older I get the worse it becomes.<ee> <es>I’m to the tipping point of just leaving.<ee> <efs>I can’t stand people.<efe> <efs>I’m always disappointed in them.<efe> No matter the dynamics.
| 1 | 2 | 0 |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
what caused the outburst
| null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you feel depressed and angry
| null | true | 120 |
f38lp8
|
First ever Reddit post, and I came here to do it.
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 2 |
So I’ve never done this before so forgive me if it’s not great haha
So I’m a m(33) and I’ve been struggling with anger, anxiety and desperation for a lot of my life. I never really thought I had mental health issues. I was either just pissed off, a ‘worrier’, down. You know the usual stuff you tell yourself to make you feel better.
My anxiety and depression have been manageable lately. But my anger has slowly been getting worse and worse over the past 12-18 months. It’s been getting to the point where some of the thoughts I’ve been having while angry are really starting to scare me.
I’m usually a happy and friendly person. I have heaps of friends, many of whom don’t even know I have an anger problem. Which might be because day to day I don’t really get angry at a lot of things. Only a few things anger me. But unfortunately when I do get angry I go from 0-100 instantly. It’s like someone flips a switch in my head and I’m instantly raging. It’s usually assholes, injustice, people who just aren’t nice that make me angry. And I usually can’t stop myself from telling them so.
Which in turn has gotten me into trouble. This has caused fights, both in person and online, which in turn makes me more angry to the point where I’m blinded by it. I get bad thoughts, violent thoughts. I’ve once threatened someone to ‘burn their house down with them inside it’. It just comes out of me. And I know that one day I’m going to say something to the wrong person and it could change my life forever.
What also makes it worst is I work in the media. I’m constantly surrounded and involved with people that hate me purely for what I do. In my job I’m verbally and physically abused, spat on. The people who hate us aren’t shy of letting us know how they feel about us. Which makes me seething even more.
I guess what I’m looking for is advice. It’s obvious that I can’t do it alone anymore. Much appreciation people of Reddit.
|
geralt_deschain86
| 1 | 0 | 11 |
2020-02-13 11:27:55
|
Anger
|
So I’ve never done this before so forgive me if it’s not great haha <es>So I’m a m(33) and I’ve been struggling with anger, anxiety and desperation for a lot of my life.<ee> I never really thought I had mental health issues. <es>I was either just pissed off, a ‘worrier’, down.<ee> You know the usual stuff you tell yourself to make you feel better. <es>My anxiety and depression have been manageable lately.<ee> <es>But my anger has slowly been getting worse and worse over the past 12-18 months.<ee> <efs>It’s been getting to the point where some of the thoughts I’ve been having while angry are really starting to scare me. <efe> I’m usually a happy and friendly person. I have heaps of friends, many of whom don’t even know I have an anger problem. Which might be because day to day I don’t really get angry at a lot of things. <es>Only a few things anger me.<ee> <es>But unfortunately when I do get angry I go from 0-100 instantly.<ee> <es>It’s like someone flips a switch in my head and I’m instantly raging.<ee> <es>It’s usually assholes, injustice, people who just aren’t nice that make me angry.<ee> <es>And I usually can’t stop myself from telling them so. <ee> <es>Which in turn has gotten me into trouble.<ee> <es>This has caused fights, both in person and online, which in turn makes me more angry to the point where I’m blinded by it.<ee> <es>I get bad thoughts, violent thoughts.<ee> <es>I’ve once threatened someone to ‘burn their house down with them inside it’.<ee> <es>It just comes out of me.<ee> And I know that one day I’m going to say something to the wrong person and it could change my life forever. <es>What also makes it worst is I work in the media.<ee> <es>I’m constantly surrounded and involved with people that hate me purely for what I do.<ee> <es>In my job I’m verbally and physically abused, spat on.<ee> <es>The people who hate us aren’t shy of letting us know how they feel about us.<ee> <es>Which makes me seething even more.<ee> <rs>I guess what I’m looking for is advice.<re> <es>It’s obvious that I can’t do it alone anymore.<ee> Much appreciation people of Reddit.
| 2 | 1 | 1 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
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the thoughts which scare you
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Can you elaborate more on X ?
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what would help you control your anger
| null | true | 211 |
ej0lok
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Any other grad students on winter break right now who are struggling with lack of structure?
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1a
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rant
| 2 |
I'm working on a PhD in Biomedical Informatics, so my work schedule is pretty damn flexible and I can work from anywhere. On my best days, my executive dysfunction is still pretty damn faulty, but when I'm on break it's even worse. The guilt is really sinking in. I actually have free time and I'm absolutely paralyzed because I don't know how to use it.
Right now there are no looming deadlines, no overbearing advisors, etc. You'd think it would be a relief, but really, it's pretty depressing. My executive dysfunction is worse than ever without panic as a crutch.
I really just needed to vent. My brain's a mess and I just need to know I'm not alone right now. All my NT friends are so happy to have the break and are just enjoying themselves, but I can't seem to get this self-manufactured pressure off my back. I'm not necessarily asking for tips or advice (unless you have them to share, of course!).... I just can't wait for break to be over so I can go back to feeling overwhelmed. LOL.
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splendidsun824
| 1 | 0 | 12 |
2020-01-02 16:46:34
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ADHD
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<es>I'm working on a PhD in Biomedical Informatics, so my work schedule is pretty damn flexible and I can work from anywhere.<ee> <es>On my best days, my executive dysfunction is still pretty damn faulty, but when I'm on break it's even worse.<ee> <efs>The guilt is really sinking in.<efe> <es>I actually have free time and I'm absolutely paralyzed because I don't know how to use it.<ee> <es>Right now there are no looming deadlines, no overbearing advisors, etc.<ee> <efs>You'd think it would be a relief, but really, it's pretty depressing.<efe> <es>My executive dysfunction is worse than ever without panic as a crutch.<ee> <rs>I really just needed to vent.<re> <rs>My brain's a mess and I just need to know I'm not alone right now.<re> <es>All my NT friends are so happy to have the break and are just enjoying themselves, but I can't seem to get this self-manufactured pressure off my back.<ee> <rs>I'm not necessarily asking for tips or advice (unless you have them to share, of course!).... I just can't wait for break to be over so I can go back to feeling overwhelmed.<re> LOL.
| 2 | 2 | 2 | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 222 |
ejcfst
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i dont have any tools but :(
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1a
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rant
| 1 |
i want to cut so badly :( i was doing good but now im not! why? im not sure :( i dont have anything bc my mom has taken everything.
i could use kitchen things but id have to bring it to my room n.. im too tired for that
edit: nevermind, i got smth n its all good
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yodixu
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
2020-01-03 08:04:39
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selfharm
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<es>i want to cut so badly :( i was doing good but now im not!<ee> <es>why?<ee> <es>im not sure :( i dont have anything bc my mom has taken everything. <ee> <es>i could use kitchen things but id have to bring it to my room n.. im too tired for that<ee> edit: nevermind, i got smth n its all good
| 2 | 0 | 0 | null | null |
How did X make you feel?
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the urge to cut
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What do you need help with now that X?
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you are wanting to cut yourself
| null | true | 200 |
ej4xbk
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Instead of Cutting I Drank to Harm Myself
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1a
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rant
| 1 |
I'm so cool. Also really isolated. Hoping to make it through the night
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BlakeBlues
| 2 | 0 | 46 |
2020-01-02 21:50:12
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selfharm
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<es>Instead of Cutting I Drank to Harm Myself<ee> I'm so cool. <es>Also really isolated.<ee> <es>Hoping to make it through the night<ee>
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
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why did you drink to harm yourself
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How did X make you feel?
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drinking
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What do you need help with now that X?
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you started drinking to harm yourself
| null | true | 100 |
ei89e7
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Everyone I care about is spending NYE with everyone they care about.
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1b
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rant
| 1 |
That's why I'm alone. I hate this.
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mintpedals
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
2019-12-31 20:20:58
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depression
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<es>That's why I'm alone.<ee> <es>I hate this.<ee>
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
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why you were alone
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How did X make you feel?
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being alone on new year
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What do you need help with now that X?
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you feel lonely
| null | true | 100 |
ekth9l
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I really wanted to say something but didn’t
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1a
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rant
| 1 |
Why do I always stop myself from trying to express some kind of opinion or contribute to a conversation?
I think I’ve gotten used to not saying anything when I’m in a group with other people. I feel like I am literally locked up in some kind of cage inside my mind. It’s safer not to say anything but not saying anything for prolonged amounts of time when I’m around other people drives me insane and yet I don’t know how to function otherwise.
This sucks.
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blushingcat
| 1 | 0 | 1 |
2020-01-06 12:24:26
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socialanxiety
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<rs>Why do I always stop myself from trying to express some kind of opinion or contribute to a conversation?<re> <es>I think I’ve gotten used to not saying anything when I’m in a group with other people.<ee> <efs>I feel like I am literally locked up in some kind of cage inside my mind.<efe> <efs>It’s safer not to say anything but not saying anything for prolonged amounts of time when I’m around other people drives me insane and yet I don’t know how to function otherwise.<efe> This sucks.
| 1 | 2 | 2 |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
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why you speak less in a group
| null | null | null | null | null | true | 122 |
eldwdc
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Victims of abuse and/or psychopaths?
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1a
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help-seeking
| 1 |
I'm using a burner account for obvious reasons. I was wondering if anyone has any experience or advice about recovering from psychopathic abuse. I am in counseling because my job is stressful. My therapist is insistent that I need to "work on myself." I agree that eventually I need to do that. However, I'm currently traumatized. Everyday I assume that he will show up and kill me. I can't sleep and I can't be alone without sever anxiety. I have a large network of friends and a great support system. But no one seems to understand what I am going through. I remember feeling exactly the same way following a sexual assault. I can't trust myself. I spent 20 minutes this morning crying because I couldn't decide what to wear. If anyone has had a similar experience or any thoughts on how to move forward I would really appreciate the feedback.
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burner2020burner
| 1 | 0 | 8 |
2020-01-07 16:37:20
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getting_over_it
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<es>I'm using a burner account for obvious reasons.<ee> <rs> I was wondering if anyone has any experience or advice about recovering from psychopathic abuse.<re> <es>I am in counseling because my job is stressful.<ee> <es>My therapist is insistent that I need to "work on myself."<ee> <es>I agree that eventually I need to do that.<ee> <efs>However, I'm currently traumatized.<efe> <efs>Everyday I assume that he will show up and kill me.<efe> <efs>I can't sleep and I can't be alone without sever anxiety.<efe> <es>I have a large network of friends and a great support system.<ee> <es>But no one seems to understand what I am going through.<ee> <efs>I remember feeling exactly the same way following a sexual assault.<efe> I can't trust myself. <efs>I spent 20 minutes this morning crying because I couldn't decide what to wear.<efe> <rs>If anyone has had a similar experience or any thoughts on how to move forward I would really appreciate the feedback.<re>
| 1 | 2 | 2 |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
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what made you traumatized
| null | null | null | null | null | true | 122 |
f4e38a
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Why do people treat me like I have the plague?
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1b
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help-seeking
| 1 |
I have family members that aren’t supportive if they help me I could get out of my situation faster. They don’t wanna help I opened up about being in a bad relationship and they get distant. Did anyone else have their family do this way which makes it harder for you to leave ?
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PF1991
| 1 | 0 | 26 |
2020-02-15 19:13:58
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domesticviolence
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<es>I have family members that aren’t supportive if they help me I could get out of my situation faster.<ee> <es>They don’t wanna help I opened up about being in a bad relationship and they get distant.<ee> <rs>Did anyone else have their family do this way which makes it harder for you to leave ?<re>
| 1 | 0 | 2 |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
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your relationship
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How did X make you feel?
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how did your family members not helping you
| null | null | null | true | 102 |
eicbdy
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ADHD-based bullet journal setup with in-depth explanations for organization.
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0
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chitchat
| 1 |
Here's the album: https://imgur.com/gallery/VVq9xlR
I think I covered everything in the captions but please let me know if you have any questions. This community has been SO helpful in tools--I also use Trello and workflowy, calendar and keep...mostly because my partner is very digital based and we need to coordinate, but I am starting to see the benefit in trello for my education/curriculum needs.
Thanks so much for all your help and hopefully this can give a few of you some ideas or support for your own 2020 projects!
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redheadedalex
| 1 | 0 | 20 |
2020-01-01 01:50:47
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ADHD
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Here's the album: https://imgur.com/gallery/VVq9xlR I think I covered everything in the captions but please let me know if you have any questions. This community has been SO helpful in tools--I also use Trello and workflowy, calendar and keep...mostly because my partner is very digital based and we need to coordinate, but I am starting to see the benefit in trello for my education/curriculum needs. Thanks so much for all your help and hopefully this can give a few of you some ideas or support for your own 2020 projects!
| 0 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
random
| true | 0 |
elr84m
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Ten and a Half Months Sober But Struggling
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1a
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help-seeking
| 2 |
Hey there!
So a bit about myself I was struggling since 15 with depression, anxiety and PTSD. I have tried therapy, medication- no luck. I used drinking as a way to cope which helped me while I was drinking but the next day the anxiety would come back ten fold. Anyhow, I quit drinking cold turkey which I'm now realizing is super dangerous to do. I had sweats, headaches, muscle tremors and confusion. Now I occasionally get these episodes and have been prescribed Lorazepam for these episodes which I've lately been taking daily. I'm finding myself in pain a lot more, headaches almost daily, muscle stiffness, anxiety to the max and just not really getting to where I want to be. I've tried losing some weight, taking b12, vit d, and multivitamins and just can't shake these awful headaches and body pains. I've had numerous blood tests done and a CT scan everything came back okay. Waiting two years to see a Neurologist. I'm posting here as a way to reach out to see if there are anyone with similar circumstances that have had positive outcomes? Struggling very much right now and can't even work. Feel like I'm losing myself.
Thanks in advance
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Smeshie
| 1 | 0 | 7 |
2020-01-08 10:54:59
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addiction
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Hey there! <es>So a bit about myself I was struggling since 15 with depression, anxiety and PTSD.<ee> <es>I have tried therapy, medication- no luck.<ee> <es>I used drinking as a way to cope which helped me while I was drinking but the next day the anxiety would come back ten fold.<ee> <es>Anyhow, I quit drinking cold turkey which I'm now realizing is super dangerous to do.<ee> <efs>I had sweats, headaches, muscle tremors and confusion.<efe> <es>Now I occasionally get these episodes and have been prescribed Lorazepam for these episodes which I've lately been taking daily.<ee> <efs>I'm finding myself in pain a lot more, headaches almost daily, muscle stiffness, anxiety to the max and just not really getting to where I want to be.<efe> <es>I've tried losing some weight, taking b12, vit d, and multivitamins and just can't shake these awful headaches and body pains.<ee> <es>I've had numerous blood tests done and a CT scan everything came back okay.<ee> Waiting two years to see a Neurologist. <rs>I'm posting here as a way to reach out to see if there are anyone with similar circumstances that have had positive outcomes?<re> <efs>Struggling very much right now and can't even work.<efe> <efs>Feel like I'm losing myself.<efe> Thanks in advance
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Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 222 |
eisadj
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Anyone else cut off ppl going into the new year?
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0
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survey
| 1 |
I've officially cut off at least 3 ppl. 2 are my exes and 1 friend. They're blocked on every social media and on my phone too. And I don't feel bad about it. If anything, I like the "finality" of everything and I feel like I go move forward with my life. Anyone else?
Happy New year btw! And I'm starting therapy again this month 🥳🎉🥂
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tiredhermit
| 1 | 0 | 6 |
2020-01-02 03:02:58
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BPD
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I've officially cut off at least 3 ppl. 2 are my exes and 1 friend. They're blocked on every social media and on my phone too. And I don't feel bad about it. If anything, I like the "finality" of everything and I feel like I go move forward with my life. Anyone else? Happy New year btw! And I'm starting therapy again this month 🥳🎉🥂
| 0 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
random
| true | 0 |
el3rad
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i need clarification..
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1a
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help-seeking
| 1 |
i’m not diagnosed or anything and i don’t want to dare misuse the diagnosis nor hurt anyone who has or deals with it.. but i want to know.. are these symptoms
flashbacks
anxiety
disassociation
cramps
possibly symptoms of Ptsd.. there’s some more descriptions but i don’t want to relapse myself,.. i just want to know if it’s a possibility for me as someone who’s has no health access atm (therapy, etc.)
i do not wish to make anyone uncomfortable or hurt or anything.. i just feel like since i have no access to help.. i feel like i should try and ask anyone who deals with this...
oh and btw you guys are so strong and beautiful and your pasts make you stronger! fight for another day! ♥️ im rooting for all of you
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panfluidgodsent
| 1 | 0 | 8 |
2020-01-07 01:12:22
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ptsd
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<rs>i’m not diagnosed or anything and i don’t want to dare misuse the diagnosis nor hurt anyone who has or deals with it.. but i want to know.. are these symptoms <re> <es>flashbacks anxiety disassociation cramps possibly symptoms of Ptsd..<ee> <es>there’s some more descriptions but i don’t want to relapse myself,..<ee> <rs>i just want to know if it’s a possibility for me as someone who’s has no health access atm (therapy, etc.) <re> <rs>i do not wish to make anyone uncomfortable or hurt or anything..<re> <efs>i just feel like since i have no access to help..<efe> <efs>i feel like i should try and ask anyone who deals with this...<efe> oh and btw you guys are so strong and beautiful and your pasts make you stronger! fight for another day! ♥️ im rooting for all of you
| 2 | 1 | 2 | null | null |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
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how the symptoms make you feel
| null | null | null | true | 212 |
ekeptg
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Every time someone befriends next then leaves, they take a part of me with them
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0
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rant
| 1 |
I’m at a point now where there’s nothing left.
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justhatinlife
| 1 | 0 | 1 |
2020-01-05 15:56:16
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sad
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<es>Every time someone befriends next then leaves, they take a part of me with them<ee> <es>I’m at a point now where there’s nothing left.<ee>
| 2 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null |
How did X make you feel?
|
the losing of friends
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What do you need help with now that X?
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you are upset about your friends leaving you
| null | true | 200 |
enwvwo
|
Am I a terrible person?
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1b
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survey
| 2 |
I’m so damn sick of this. Basically one of my friends left me for my ex’s group. Cause apparently I left him out of something. I’ve been trying to work on controlling myself but I loose all that very easily. It’s only been a week so obviously people are talking about it. And anyway I was fine for the first few days then I just fell apart. I got so mad and I replied rude things. I told people in a group to remove him or I’ll leave. I’ve told people he hurt his ex and freaked out. I’ve told people he’s hurting us. I’ve told people I’m better without him and I don’t need him. I’ve said I’m the reason he’s where he is. Ik this all sounds dramatic and yea it’s probably nice compared to how I treated my ex. When she left I was a fucking bitch. Start I wasn’t bad I was just depressed. Then I started getting frustrated with her. She started abusing alcohol and became an alcoholic. So I’d make fun of her and say you’re an alcoholic, why do you only talk to me when you’re drunk(which she did), you don’t even care we had to be separated, you only care about me drunketc. Then I’d tell her she probably already has a billion other guys and it’s fine they’re better than me. She became a prostitute I’d make fun of her for hanging out with old men. She became an heroin addict and then I’d make fun of her for that when I was mad. I’d tell her she khs everyday cause I was scared of that, a few weeks ago I asked her how would your bf feel that you’re on heroin (I do not remember that but I was mad and everyone said I did I was scared to check tho). And it sucks im so stupid. I wish I could calm down sometimes. I don’t remember saying shit. And I had an anger attack before this then went on my phone. She posted a quote on her story and it was about how she didnt see how people she loved hurt her while she loved them so I screenshoted and posted on my story on Instagram with the 👌 emoji. Idk what’s gonna happen now but Ik I’ll be in shit. Maybe not with her but with myself. Also Idk if she do but I feel like I’m all she complains about. I feel like all her problems were caused by me. Everyone said they weren’t but Ik they are. Random people she tells says I’m a terrible person (they don’t know I have anger). I feel like I’m a terrible person but am I?
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angers-a-liar
| 1 | 0 | 4 |
2020-01-13 01:19:21
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Anger
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<efs>I’m so damn sick of this.<efe <es>Basically one of my friends left me for my ex’s group.<ee> <es>Cause apparently I left him out of something.<ee> <es>I’ve been trying to work on controlling myself but I loose all that very easily.<ee> It’s only been a week so obviously people are talking about it. <es>And anyway I was fine for the first few days then I just fell apart.<ee> <efs>I got so mad and I replied rude things.<efe> <efs>I told people in a group to remove him or I’ll leave.<efe> I’ve told people he hurt his ex and freaked out. <efs>I’ve told people he’s hurting us.<efe> <efs>I’ve told people I’m better without him and I don’t need him.<efe> I’ve said I’m the reason he’s where he is. Ik this all sounds dramatic and yea it’s probably nice compared to how I treated my ex. <es>When she left I was a fucking bitch.<ee> <es>Start I wasn’t bad I was just depressed.<ee> <efs>Then I started getting frustrated with her.<efe> <es>She started abusing alcohol and became an alcoholic.<ee> <es>So I’d make fun of her and say you’re an alcoholic, why do you only talk to me when you’re drunk(which she did), you don’t even care we had to be separated, you only care about me drunketc.<ee> Then I’d tell her she probably already has a billion other guys and it’s fine they’re better than me. <es>She became a prostitute I’d make fun of her for hanging out with old men.<ee> <es>She became an heroin addict and then I’d make fun of her for that when I was mad.<ee> <es>I’d tell her she khs everyday cause I was scared of that, a few weeks ago I asked her how would your bf feel that you’re on heroin (I do not remember that but I was mad and everyone said I did I was scared to check tho).<ee> And it sucks im so stupid. <es>I wish I could calm down sometimes.<ee> <es>I don’t remember saying shit.<ee> <es>And I had an anger attack before this then went on my phone.<ee> She posted a quote on her story and it was about how she didnt see how people she loved hurt her while she loved them so I screenshoted and posted on my story on Instagram with the 👌 emoji. Idk what’s gonna happen now but Ik I’ll be in shit. Maybe not with her but with myself. <efs>Also Idk if she do but I feel like I’m all she complains about.<efe> <efs>I feel like all her problems were caused by me.<efe> Everyone said they weren’t but Ik they are. Random people she tells says I’m a terrible person (they don’t know I have anger). <efs>I feel like I’m a terrible person but am I?<efe>
| 2 | 2 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you feel her problems was caused by you
| null | true | 220 |
ekuoq4
|
5 Months
|
1a
|
rant
| 1 |
Coming up on 5 months, it's been the toughest journey of my entire life. The symptoms were a nightmare to say the least. The brain impairment made it literally impossible to function. I couldn't cook for my self, I couldn't read, couldn't watch TV, my executive functions were nonexistent. My memory was horrible. My emotions were spontaneous.
Lately Iv been seeing improvements, it's a very slow and gradually process but I'm slowly becoming my self again. I feel human again.Post acute withdrawal has been terrifying but there's light at the end of this tunnel finally. I'm hoping at 24 months this will all be behind me and just a distant memory.
Liberty 🗽
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liberty30
| 1 | 0 | 3 |
2020-01-06 14:16:45
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OpiatesRecovery
|
<es>Coming up on 5 months, it's been the toughest journey of my entire life.<ee> <es>The symptoms were a nightmare to say the least.<ee> <es>The brain impairment made it literally impossible to function.<ee> <efs>I couldn't cook for my self, I couldn't read, couldn't watch TV, my executive functions were nonexistent.<efe> <efs>My memory was horrible.<efe> <efs>My emotions were spontaneous.<efe> <es>Lately Iv been seeing improvements, it's a very slow and gradually process but I'm slowly becoming my self again.<ee> <efs>I feel human again.<efe><efs>Post acute withdrawal has been terrifying but there's light at the end of this tunnel finally.<efe> I'm hoping at 24 months this will all be behind me and just a distant memory. Liberty 🗽
| 2 | 2 | 0 | null | null | null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you are having withdrawl symptoms
| null | true | 220 |
eiaez1
|
Happy new year everyone!
|
1b
|
rant
| 2 |
I hope you all who had a shitty 2019 have a gud 2020! Enjoy the rest of your hollidays to hang out with some people, do some of your favourite hobbies or just sleep and be lazy -w-
My 2020 is not gonna be that good since my parents are about to break up, at least for a while, and Idk to what are I am going in the 10th grade. I created some distance between me and my old friends too, and Im kinda mad with one of the few I trust more and am still friends with because he "joked" with suicide and got me rly concerned about another one of them.
At least I will have some time with my girlfriend that I love a lot ^ ^
Enough talking about me, if you're struggling atm I wish you that you get better in 2020 and if you need to talk to someone, as asking for advice, wanting to talk about pr feelings or even just friendly talk, I am here for you :3
Happy new year!
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andygames_pt
| 1 | 0 | 2 |
2019-12-31 23:12:58
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depression
|
I hope you all who had a shitty 2019 have a gud 2020! Enjoy the rest of your hollidays to hang out with some people, do some of your favourite hobbies or just sleep and be lazy -w- <es>My 2020 is not gonna be that good since my parents are about to break up, at least for a while, and Idk to what are I am going in the 10th grade.<ee> <es>I created some distance between me and my old friends too, and Im kinda mad with one of the few I trust more and am still friends with because he "joked" with suicide and got me rly concerned about another one of them.<ee> At least I will have some time with my girlfriend that I love a lot ^ ^ Enough talking about me, if you're struggling atm I wish you that you get better in 2020 and if you need to talk to someone, as asking for advice, wanting to talk about pr feelings or even just friendly talk, I am here for you :3 Happy new year!
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
parents break up
|
How did X make you feel?
|
your parents break up
|
What do you need help with now that X?
|
your parents are breaking up for a while
| null | true | 100 |
eig7ip
|
i hate new years.
|
1a
|
rant
| 1 |
tw for self harm and suicide
dunno if this is a bpd thing. maybe. because new year is touted as this TiMe oF gReAt ChAnGe WoW
and i hate change, can't cope with change, resent change, etc. looking at 01/01/20 on my screen and phone and everything is making me feel angry, it's stupid.
i think it's probably because it's just one more thing that's outside of my control. i couldn't stop this from happening, i couldn't stay put, where i was, in my safety net.
2019 had already been written off as absolutely fucking shit, and i'd come to terms with it. now it's ThE nEw YeAr i have to go through it all over again, the same shit, only every fucking person around me naively thinks all the usual bullshit, like "This will be *THE* year!" and "New year, new me!" etc.
i just can't be doing with it. it's draining. disappointing. heartbreaking, even. i know what this year will be like, i have bpd, it will be exactly the same as all the years that came before it.
no friends, no romantic relationships. fleeting loves that make me feel like i'm 10 miles high, floating on cloud 9. that will all come swiftly crashing back down to earth, breaking me into a million pieces, making me self harm, suicidal, all the fucking usual stuff that comes with feeling every fucking emotion at 4000% the intensity of NORMAL people.
this is a vent, i'm sad, i'm mad, i hate all of this.
|
eyes-lungs-pancreas
| 1 | 0 | 2 |
2020-01-01 08:39:23
|
BPD
|
<es>tw for self harm and suicide<ee> <es>dunno if this is a bpd thing.<ee> <es>maybe.<ee> <es>because new year is touted as this TiMe oF gReAt ChAnGe WoW<ee> <es>and i hate change, can't cope with change, resent change, etc.<ee> <efs>looking at 01/01/20 on my screen and phone and everything is making me feel angry, it's stupid. <efe> <es>i think it's probably because it's just one more thing that's outside of my control.<ee> <es>i couldn't stop this from happening, i couldn't stay put, where i was, in my safety net. <ee> <es>2019 had already been written off as absolutely fucking shit, and i'd come to terms with it.<ee> <es>now it's ThE nEw YeAr i have to go through it all over again, the same shit, only every fucking person around me naively thinks all the usual bullshit, like "This will be *THE* year!" and "New year, new me!" etc. <ee> <efs>i just can't be doing with it.<efe> <efs>it's draining.<efe> <efs>disappointing.<efe> <efs>heartbreaking, even.<efe> <es>i know what this year will be like, i have bpd, it will be exactly the same as all the years that came before it.<ee> <es>no friends, no romantic relationships.<ee> <efs>fleeting loves that make me feel like i'm 10 miles high, floating on cloud 9.<efe> <efs>that will all come swiftly crashing back down to earth, breaking me into a million pieces, making me self harm, suicidal, all the fucking usual stuff that comes with feeling every fucking emotion at 4000% the intensity of NORMAL people. <efe> <efs>this is a vent, i'm sad, i'm mad, i hate all of this.<efe>
| 2 | 2 | 0 | null | null | null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you feel disappointed and heartbroken about the new year
| null | true | 220 |
eivg08
|
i cant stop crying
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 1 |
i need help so bad please just help me
|
InfamousCauliflower4
| 1 | 0 | 3 |
2020-01-02 08:03:14
|
sad
|
i need help so bad please just help me
| 0 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
repeat
| true | 0 |
ei8421
|
sorry if this is triggering
|
1a
|
rant
| 1 |
man where to start ugh.. everything just hurts I want to give up but seen to much evidence on the other side to know universal karma is real and i have a fear my soul would just come back and repeat challenges of this life.. nothing has been easy for me, im sure millions of people on earth can say that exact statement ...
thanks for reading this little rant
first time posting will tell more of my life story in time
|
moonbabi222
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
2019-12-31 20:09:21
|
depression
|
man where to start ugh.. <efs>everything just hurts I want to give up but seen to much evidence on the other side to know universal karma is real and i have a fear my soul would just come back and repeat challenges of this life..<efe> nothing has been easy for me, im sure millions of people on earth can say that exact statement ... thanks for reading this little rant first time posting will tell more of my life story in time
| 0 | 1 | 0 |
What made you feel X ?
|
the need to give up on life
|
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
how you feel about the challenges you have faced
|
What can help you overcome X ?
|
the fear of facing challenges
| null | true | 10 |
f66ue8
|
How to cope with living alone
|
0
|
help-seeking
| 2 |
I'm a 30 something single male and I recently moved out of my parents house where my parents and my brother live.
I lived in the suburbs while I worked in the city. So I have 3 sets of friends, my friends from home and my work friends (who live in the city) and some city friends.
The goal was to save money and move out when I find the right girl and settle down. It was working out for me until all my friends at home became married and start focusing on family life and became unavailable while I was still single.
So I decided to move out to the city.
Initially it was great. My commute to work was reduced significantly. I got to hang out with my city/work friends more. My dating life improved but I have noticed that when I'm not around people, I feel lonely and to numb this pain i would get high.
I'm normally a very sociable person but when I'm not around people i feel lonely. I never felt this until I moved out. I usually appreciated solitude once in awhile. This feeling has made me not want to engage in hobbies I usually love like going to the gym, cook and sometimes I struggle to do chores.
For me, getting high doesn't help. I feel like it has made me an unproductive person and I'm using it as an escape.
How do I cope with living alone in a healthy way?
|
The_Lurker88
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
2020-02-19 06:44:15
|
getting_over_it
|
<es>I'm a 30 something single male and I recently moved out of my parents house where my parents and my brother live.<ee> <es>I lived in the suburbs while I worked in the city.<ee> <es>So I have 3 sets of friends, my friends from home and my work friends (who live in the city) and some city friends.<ee> <es>The goal was to save money and move out when I find the right girl and settle down.<ee> <es>It was working out for me until all my friends at home became married and start focusing on family life and became unavailable while I was still single.<ee> <es>So I decided to move out to the city. <ee> <es>Initially it was great.<ee> <es>My commute to work was reduced significantly.<ee> <es>I got to hang out with my city/work friends more.<ee> <es>My dating life improved but I have noticed that when I'm not around people, I feel lonely and to numb this pain i would get high.<ee> <efs>I'm normally a very sociable person but when I'm not around people i feel lonely.<efe> <efs>I never felt this until I moved out. <efe> I usually appreciated solitude once in awhile. <efs>This feeling has made me not want to engage in hobbies I usually love like going to the gym, cook and sometimes I struggle to do chores.<efe> <es>For me, getting high doesn't help.<ee> <efs>I feel like it has made me an unproductive person and I'm using it as an escape.<efe> <rs>How do I cope with living alone in a healthy way?<re>
| 2 | 2 | 2 | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 222 |
ejgx6v
|
Should I be on an antidepressant?
|
0
|
help-seeking
| 1 |
I was on paxil and abilify but then I stopped the paxil and have been off of it for about 2 months and continued the abilify. Since I went off cold turkey (I know I know that's a bad decision) I went through hell at first but now I feel kinda normal. No feeling super suicidal and actually attempting. No getting seriously angry over nothing. I don't feel happy but I actually started to shower and take care of myself. When I was on the paxil I felt more depressed and irritable and like my happy emotions were suppressed. I couldn't smile without it feeling super forced while I was on it. I was diagnosed with depression as well as bpd so I'd assume that an antidepressant would help but I guess it didn't? Sorry if this is all scrambled up, it's hard for me to explain anything.
|
ca7cha8esra66it
| 4 | 0 | 11 |
2020-01-03 15:31:33
|
BPD
|
<rs>Should I be on an antidepressant?<re> <es>I was on paxil and abilify but then I stopped the paxil and have been off of it for about 2 months and continued the abilify.<ee> <es>Since I went off cold turkey (I know I know that's a bad decision) I went through hell at first but now I feel kinda normal.<ee> <efs>No feeling super suicidal and actually attempting.<efe> <efs>No getting seriously angry over nothing.<efe> <efs>I don't feel happy but I actually started to shower and take care of myself.<efe> <efs>When I was on the paxil I felt more depressed and irritable and like my happy emotions were suppressed.<efe> <efs>I couldn't smile without it feeling super forced while I was on it.<efe> <es>I was diagnosed with depression as well as bpd so I'd assume that an antidepressant would help but I guess it didn't? <ee>Sorry if this is all scrambled up, it's hard for me to explain anything.
| 2 | 2 | 2 | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 222 |
fh2etx
|
Divorce hurts
|
1a
|
rant
| 1 |
So I'm going through a divorce, and it really hurts. I'm feeling all kinds of things I didn't expect to feel. I miss my ex, even though he never wanted to marry me in the first place. It was so clear that he didn't really treasure me. And once I realized I was transgender, well, that was the final straw. I want to live my truth. I want him to live his.
But I find it hard to do all kinds of stuff now. It took me like, a month to get out of my hotel room and into a rental. I was so sad and scared - I felt frozen. I have a hard time at work some days, too, and I'm scared of the consequences of that.
Today I tried something new. I thought to myself: "okay, but what's stopping you from working? Why are you sitting at your desk paralyzed?"
Because I'm lonely, distracted, bored, anxious, and tired.
What can I do to resolve those feelings?
If only I knew. God, I'm trying so hard. I dragged myself to my psychiatrist and got an adjustment made to my medication. I return texts.. sometimes. Most of the time. I take breaks from working (too many, too long). I'm sleeping enough, maybe too much.
I want to do my best for myself. I'm keeping loose journals, and trying to make sure I'm heard even if the only person who is listening is me.
I really want to get better and I'm trying my best. It's just so hard when I've had my whole life uprooted and everyone is panicking over this and that. I just want to take a nap and play The Sims, or watch Netflix. Cry. I know I have to do more but... I don't know. Sometimes I don't know how. I guess I just have to do it, huh?
|
LuckSprite
| 1 | 0 | 6 |
2020-03-11 19:05:37
|
getting_over_it
|
<es>So I'm going through a divorce.<ee> <efs> it really hurts.<efe> <efs>I'm feeling all kinds of things I didn't expect to feel.<efe> <efs>I miss my ex, even though he never wanted to marry me in the first place.<efe> <es>It was so clear that he didn't really treasure me.<ee> <es>And once I realized I was transgender, well, that was the final straw.<ee> <rs>I want to live my truth.<re> <rs>I want him to live his.<re> <efs>But I find it hard to do all kinds of stuff now.<efe> <es>It took me like, a month to get out of my hotel room and into a rental.<ee> <efs>I was so sad and scared - I felt frozen.<efe> <efs>I have a hard time at work some days, too, and I'm scared of the consequences of that.<efe> <es>Today I tried something new.<ee> <es>I thought to myself: "okay, but what's stopping you from working? Why are you sitting at your desk paralyzed?"<ee> <efs>Because I'm lonely, distracted, bored, anxious, and tired.<efe> <rs>What can I do to resolve those feelings?<re> If only I knew. <es>God, I'm trying so hard.<ee> <es>I dragged myself to my psychiatrist and got an adjustment made to my medication.<ee> <es>I return texts.. sometimes.<ee> <es>Most of the time.<ee> <es>I take breaks from working (too many, too long).<ee> <es>I'm sleeping enough, maybe too much.<ee> <rs>I want to do my best for myself.<re> <rs>I'm keeping loose journals, and trying to make sure I'm heard even if the only person who is listening is me.<re> <rs>I really want to get better and I'm trying my best.<re> <es>It's just so hard when I've had my whole life uprooted and everyone is panicking over this and that.<ee> <efs>I just want to take a nap and play The Sims, or watch Netflix. Cry.<efe> I know I have to do more but... I don't know. Sometimes I don't know how. I guess I just have to do it, huh?
| 2 | 2 | 2 | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 222 |
exk5fa
|
men vs finding out i was raped
|
1b
|
rant
| 3 |
i fucking HATE more than anything else in the world how men react when i disclose my rape to them. with women there's usually this mutual understanding, often they have stories of being sexually harassed themselves or even raped. i rarely find this the case with men.
women usually tell me 'i'm sorry that happened to you' without any expectation that i'll go deeper into the details, or any assumption of what those details might be. men tend to look very uncomfortable, followed by telling me they'd never do anything like that (like fucking OBVIOUSLY i don't think you would otherwise i wouldn't be disclosing this to you). i've only ever been asked to describe what happened by men (one of which i later found out had described my rape to his friend and masturbated over it) and i've found men tend to assume what happened more than women.
i've also only had men give me 'suggestions' on how to make myself less rapeable. the guy that inspired this post looked at my post history while responding to a different post of mine on a totally different sub and decided it was a good idea to message me suggesting i take self defence classes.
like being able to put someone in a headlock would've prevented me from being raped while i was passed out and high in my VERY CLOSE FRIEND'S bed. like the onus is on ME to PREVENT myself getting raped, not on my fucking RAPIST for being an oxygen wasting piece of human excrement.
and then when i say i was high and passed out suddenly it gets very 'well you should only do drugs with people you trust'. I DID. THATS WHY I WAS SLEEPING ON HIS BED. the irony is it's always fucking potheads who judge me for getting raped while high, like don't tell me i shouldn't have been smoking weed when you light up a bong every goddamn night you hypocritical knob jockey.
i'm very open about telling people i was sexually assaulted because i am well past feeling ashamed and as if it was my fault, if it's relevant i have no issue talking about it. so i have had many different reactions and some perfectly sane reactions from men and utterly ridiculous ones from women (like my mother who, despite being a rape victim herself, slut shamed me). but i'm really quite sick and fucking tired of men telling me it wasn't their fault (which i goddamn know) and trying to imply i should have done something 'better' or 'different'. yes, it wouldn't have happened if i hadn't have done what i did but he was the active participant in the scenario and he should not have done that to me, i don't really care if i 'caused it'.
also not trying to erase male victims of rape, i'm very sympathetic to them, but it seems to me like literally every woman has been made to feel unsafe by a man and therefore they're way more empathetic than the majority of men.
|
definitelynotabby
| 1 | 0 | 30 |
2020-02-02 06:12:59
|
rapecounseling
|
<efs>i fucking HATE more than anything else in the world how men react when i disclose my rape to them.<efe> <es>with women there's usually this mutual understanding, often they have stories of being sexually harassed themselves or even raped.<ee> <es>i rarely find this the case with men.<ee> <es>women usually tell me 'i'm sorry that happened to you' without any expectation that i'll go deeper into the details, or any assumption of what those details might be.<ee> <es>men tend to look very uncomfortable, followed by telling me they'd never do anything like that (like fucking OBVIOUSLY i don't think you would otherwise i wouldn't be disclosing this to you).<ee> <es>i've only ever been asked to describe what happened by men (one of which i later found out had described my rape to his friend and masturbated over it) and i've found men tend to assume what happened more than women.<ee> <es>i've also only had men give me 'suggestions' on how to make myself less rapeable.<ee> <es>the guy that inspired this post looked at my post history while responding to a different post of mine on a totally different sub and decided it was a good idea to message me suggesting i take self defence classes.<ee> <es>like being able to put someone in a headlock would've prevented me from being raped while i was passed out and high in my VERY CLOSE FRIEND'S bed.<ee> <es>like the onus is on ME to PREVENT myself getting raped, not on my fucking RAPIST for being an oxygen wasting piece of human excrement. <ee> <es>and then when i say i was high and passed out suddenly it gets very 'well you should only do drugs with people you trust'.<ee> <es>I DID.<ee> <es>THATS WHY I WAS SLEEPING ON HIS BED.<ee> <es>the irony is it's always fucking potheads who judge me for getting raped while high, like don't tell me i shouldn't have been smoking weed when you light up a bong every goddamn night you hypocritical knob jockey.<ee> <es>i'm very open about telling people i was sexually assaulted because i am well past feeling ashamed and as if it was my fault, if it's relevant i have no issue talking about it. so i have had many different reactions and some perfectly sane reactions from men and utterly ridiculous ones from women (like my mother who, despite being a rape victim herself, slut shamed me).<ee> <efs>but i'm really quite sick and fucking tired of men telling me it wasn't their fault (which i goddamn know) and trying to imply i should have done something 'better' or 'different'.<efe> <es>yes, it wouldn't have happened if i hadn't have done what i did but he was the active participant in the scenario and he should not have done that to me, i don't really care if i 'caused it'.<ee> <efs>also not trying to erase male victims of rape, i'm very sympathetic to them, but it seems to me like literally every woman has been made to feel unsafe by a man and therefore they're way more empathetic than the majority of men.<efe>
| 2 | 2 | 0 | null | null | null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you hate how men react when you tell them about the incident
| null | true | 220 |
elhfks
|
A walk in the woods...... a big achievement for me and had to share. :)
|
0
|
chitchat
| 1 |
In 2019, around October, I began to shut down and isolate... It got worse as the anniversaries of both my parents were soon approaching(I held them both while they died) then I was minding my own business watching a movie when the movie took a turn for the worse and there was a horrible rape scene in it, and I related to it a little too much, after the movie I couldn't get the scenes out of my damn head.. took forever for me to get over it sometimes..... So I fell even more into the trenches of hell.
Anyways, I'm happy today, and just wanted to share that I took my first walk in the woods by myself since last year. It was a glorious day (I live in Texas, so it what nice and cool outside). The animals were everywhere, chirping and hopping around...... Such peace and relaxation on that trail and just wanted to share one of my good days to you fine people. Have a blessed one!
|
TheOriginalTomboy
| 1 | 0 | 7 |
2020-01-07 20:44:33
|
ptsd
|
In 2019, around October, I began to shut down and isolate... It got worse as the anniversaries of both my parents were soon approaching(I held them both while they died) then I was minding my own business watching a movie when the movie took a turn for the worse and there was a horrible rape scene in it, and I related to it a little too much, after the movie I couldn't get the scenes out of my damn head.. took forever for me to get over it sometimes..... So I fell even more into the trenches of hell. Anyways, I'm happy today, and just wanted to share that I took my first walk in the woods by myself since last year. It was a glorious day (I live in Texas, so it what nice and cool outside). The animals were everywhere, chirping and hopping around...... Such peace and relaxation on that trail and just wanted to share one of my good days to you fine people. Have a blessed one!
| 0 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
positive
| true | 0 |
ejkg5x
|
Sleeping separately from my partner
|
0
|
help-seeking
| 1 |
I went to bed two nights ago before my partner and passed out almost immediately. As soon as he came to bed, I was up and stuck having flashbacks and fighting myself and twitching myself to stay awake. After an hour of fighting my body, I went and laid on the couch. After calling down, I was back to sleep.
Yesterday I talked to my therapist and then to my spouse and we all agreed to test sleeping separately. I still had nightmares, but I fell asleep almost immediately and was able to get back to sleep after waking up. I woke up and felt WELL RESTED. I was actually worried I was going off the deep end because I felt so good.
I feel bad, but my spouse isn’t worried about it as long as I am sleeping. Hope this helps anyone who is dealing with this same shit
|
deeplynugget
| 1 | 0 | 1 |
2020-01-03 19:36:36
|
rapecounseling
|
I went to bed two nights ago before my partner and passed out almost immediately. As soon as he came to bed, I was up and stuck having flashbacks and fighting myself and twitching myself to stay awake. After an hour of fighting my body, I went and laid on the couch. After calling down, I was back to sleep. Yesterday I talked to my therapist and then to my spouse and we all agreed to test sleeping separately. I still had nightmares, but I fell asleep almost immediately and was able to get back to sleep after waking up. I woke up and felt WELL RESTED. I was actually worried I was going off the deep end because I felt so good. I feel bad, but my spouse isn’t worried about it as long as I am sleeping. Hope this helps anyone who is dealing with this same shit
| 0 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
random
| true | 0 |
em2od5
|
I’m numb everyday. It’s just irritating. I just want to feel something. How can I.
|
1b
|
rant
| 1 |
The only thing that keeps me company is school. Other than that, I don’t do anything. I just want to feel something. Everyday is the same. I don’t feel connected with anyone. I don’t want to socialize. I don’t want to do anything. I’ve tried talking to the school counsellor but she’s practically worthless to me. They just say the most basic and cliche stuff that doesn’t do anything to make me better.
Why am I so numb. Everyday it’s like this.
|
-BoB-
| 1 | 0 | 4 |
2020-01-09 01:49:24
|
getting_over_it
|
<es>The only thing that keeps me company is school.<ee> <es>Other than that, I don’t do anything.<ee> <rs>I just want to feel something.<re> <es>Everyday is the same.<ee> <efs>I don’t feel connected with anyone.<efe> <efs>I don’t want to socialize.<efe> <efs>I don’t want to do anything.<efe> <es>I’ve tried talking to the school counsellor but she’s practically worthless to me.<ee> <es>They just say the most basic and cliche stuff that doesn’t do anything to make me better. <ee> <efs>Why am I so numb.<efe> Everyday it’s like this.
| 1 | 2 | 2 |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
what made you feel numb
| null | null | null | null | null | true | 122 |
eiuwf4
|
The end of my relationship with my best friends seemed to be a break up :)
|
1a
|
rant
| 1 |
It hurt, it’s painful, but it’s for the best. It wasn’t working anymore, we were both guilty.
|
--Eccedentesiast--
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
2020-01-02 07:01:38
|
sad
|
<es>The end of my relationship with my best friends seemed to be a break up<ee> :) <efs>It hurt, it’s painful, but it’s for the best.<efe> <es>It wasn’t working anymore, we were both guilty.<ee>
| 1 | 2 | 0 |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
why your relationship wasn't working out
| null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you feel hurt after the end of the relationship
|
title
| true | 120 |
eimoi4
|
Safety card/Speedbumps in Fellowship
|
0
|
help-seeking
| 2 |
Hello everyone!
Thank you for this subreddit. It helps me get outside of myself and reminds me of certain points in my sobriety that I can't forget.
I have been going to meetings and stuff but left my home group because of some safety card issues. I still go to meetings. We have had a couple of old timers hugging inappropriately (I personally experienced this as well; forced their hands underneath my arms and ran their hand along the side of my breast) or trying stuff with newcomers (yes, THAT kind of stuff and they're married). Its disrupted a lot of fellowship with some other things like newcomers being stalked, etc. I assisted in creating a women's group because it has been really bad.
Its driven apart a lot of the fellowship because there's been some victim blaming, minimalization, ignorance of the issue, avoidance and expression of shame to those that come forward...
I am quite familiar with the laws in our area but I'm not capable of dealing with all of this as this is what I deal with professionally as well. I've been working with our DCM but it seems like these issues have been taking place for quite some time and sent many people back drinking.
Does anyone have any encouragement or assistance with predatory behavior with the fellowship and newcomers? It's more than the average 13th stepping.
|
MajesticCanadian92
| 1 | 0 | 5 |
2020-01-01 19:44:05
|
alcoholicsanonymous
|
Hello everyone! Thank you for this subreddit. It helps me get outside of myself and reminds me of certain points in my sobriety that I can't forget. <es>I have been going to meetings and stuff but left my home group because of some safety card issues.<ee> <es>I still go to meetings.<ee> <es>We have had a couple of old timers hugging inappropriately (I personally experienced this as well; forced their hands underneath my arms and ran their hand along the side of my breast) or trying stuff with newcomers (yes, THAT kind of stuff and they're married).<ee> <es>Its disrupted a lot of fellowship with some other things like newcomers being stalked, etc.<ee> <es>I assisted in creating a women's group because it has been really bad. <ee> <es>Its driven apart a lot of the fellowship because there's been some victim blaming, minimalization, ignorance of the issue, avoidance and expression of shame to those that come forward... <ee> <es>I am quite familiar with the laws in our area but I'm not capable of dealing with all of this as this is what I deal with professionally as well.<ee> <es>I've been working with our DCM but it seems like these issues have been taking place for quite some time and sent many people back drinking. <ee> <rs>Does anyone have any encouragement or assistance with predatory behavior with the fellowship and newcomers?<re> <es>It's more than the average 13th stepping.<ee>
| 2 | 0 | 2 | null | null |
How did X make you feel?
|
the inappropriate hugging
| null | null | null | true | 202 |
f7idfe
|
Thinking about my anger in dollars it costs me:
|
1a
|
survey
| 2 |
Hello, first time poster here. What brings me here is I just wanted to share an example of how much my anger has cost me strictly in terms of dollars. I played a mobile game on my phone for the last year and I have become so enraged during losing streaks that I have broken a number of things, including the phone, which I have have replaced 3 times now after smashing it beyond repair. The first phone cost me $340 (used from best buy), the second $520 (new from verizon), and the third $180 ("deductible" from phone insurance I signed up for). I've paid $19 a month for 6 months now for phone "insurance." I've smashed holes in 2 walls which cost me about $30 in materials to fix. I've broken a desk which I still haven't replaced but when I do will probably run me at least $150. Laundry baskets: (2) x $10. Wood piece on piano: $160. Metal baseball bat (yes, I managed to smash a metal bat): $80. Lawn seeder cart (smashed along with the bat): $35. Tore the cloth lining on couch: $30. Hair dryer (dont even remember what happened): $60. A 1.2 pound delmonico steak (funny story): $17. TV remote: (2x) $20 and probably about $100 more I cant remember right now.
Total: $1878
By far the most expensive video game I've ever played. Now I'm not necessarily looking for advice or anything, I know the answer here is to just find something else to do. Honestly, it's only been this one game that has triggered me like this, I play all kinds of other games and don't destroy things. It drives me crazy though and I'm the kind of person that when these things happen I say, "I wonder if there are people who have done worse?" Has anyone here ever thought about how much money your anger has cost you? Share you like please, thanks.
|
HorseWilloughby
| 1 | 0 | 2 |
2020-02-21 21:52:24
|
Anger
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Hello, first time poster here. What brings me here is I just wanted to share an example of how much my anger has cost me strictly in terms of dollars. I played a mobile game on my phone for the last year and I have become so enraged during losing streaks that I have broken a number of things, including the phone, which I have have replaced 3 times now after smashing it beyond repair. The first phone cost me $340 (used from best buy), the second $520 (new from verizon), and the third $180 ("deductible" from phone insurance I signed up for). I've paid $19 a month for 6 months now for phone "insurance." I've smashed holes in 2 walls which cost me about $30 in materials to fix. I've broken a desk which I still haven't replaced but when I do will probably run me at least $150. Laundry baskets: (2) x $10. Wood piece on piano: $160. Metal baseball bat (yes, I managed to smash a metal bat): $80. Lawn seeder cart (smashed along with the bat): $35. Tore the cloth lining on couch: $30. Hair dryer (dont even remember what happened): $60. A 1.2 pound delmonico steak (funny story): $17. TV remote: (2x) $20 and probably about $100 more I cant remember right now. Total: $1878 By far the most expensive video game I've ever played. Now I'm not necessarily looking for advice or anything, I know the answer here is to just find something else to do. Honestly, it's only been this one game that has triggered me like this, I play all kinds of other games and don't destroy things. It drives me crazy though and I'm the kind of person that when these things happen I say, "I wonder if there are people who have done worse?" Has anyone here ever thought about how much money your anger has cost you? Share you like please, thanks.
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Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
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random
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eixt3c
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I’m afraid to go to sleep because I’m emotionally exhausted from reliving my sexual assault in my dreams
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1a
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help-seeking
| 1 |
Even if I could sleep I don’t think I could convince myself that it’d be okay. Ive been dealing with a lot of triggers lately since visiting family for the holidays (my mom wanted me to explain in detail what happened and asked to see his picture). I should have just told her that seeing his face again would bring back terrible memories but I thought that it had been long enough and that I’d be okay talking about it now, I was wrong. I haven’t been able to sleep more than a a couple hours a night for the past couple days, does anyone have any tips on tricking themselves to fall asleep?
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doodlebug4322
| 1 | 0 | 53 |
2020-01-02 12:45:31
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ptsd
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<es>Even if I could sleep I don’t think I could convince myself that it’d be okay.<ee> <es>Ive been dealing with a lot of triggers lately since visiting family for the holidays (my mom wanted me to explain in detail what happened and asked to see his picture).<ee> <efs>I should have just told her that seeing his face again would bring back terrible memories but I thought that it had been long enough and that I’d be okay talking about it now, I was wrong.<efe> <es>I haven’t been able to sleep more than a a couple hours a night for the past couple days.<ee> <rs>does anyone have any tips on tricking themselves to fall asleep?<re>
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Can you elaborate more on X ?
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how did you feel seeing his picture
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f1ttfm
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New here
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1a
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rant
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I dont know if i have anger as a condition, but I have ptsd. Im a very angery person. I hate everyone. I genuinely feel as if im the only person i know with half a brain and i have constant violent images in my brain about every single person i know including my partner. I think i have a very high iq and i have a hard time when people dont understand things immediately the way i feel like i do. Every little thing puts me one inch closer to my breaking point and I'm worried I'll hurt someone else if i don't kill myself first. I know reddit isn't a therapy tool, but can anyone point me towards some useful info online that can help me to stop feeling this way. I dont want to hurt anyone and saying mean things is too easy and it doesn't make any progress.
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Intoris
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2020-02-10 17:43:09
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Anger
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<es>I dont know if i have anger as a condition, but I have ptsd.<ee> <es>Im a very angery person.<ee> <es>I hate everyone.<ee> <efs>I genuinely feel as if im the only person i know with half a brain and i have constant violent images in my brain about every single person i know including my partner.<efe> <es>I think i have a very high iq and i have a hard time when people dont understand things immediately the way i feel like i do.<ee> <es>Every little thing puts me one inch closer to my breaking point and I'm worried I'll hurt someone else if i don't kill myself first.<ee> <rs>I know reddit isn't a therapy tool, but can anyone point me towards some useful info online that can help me to stop feeling this way.<re> <rs>I dont want to hurt anyone and saying mean things is too easy and it doesn't make any progress.<re>
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Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
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How did X make you feel?
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violent images in your brain
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ejmbiy
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My PE teacher is cool even if she is a bit late.
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1b
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help-seeking
| 2 |
So, at the beginning of this school year I was said to myself "Right, you need to gain more confidence in showing your scars" so I decided not to wear my knee high socks at school anymore that I used to hide some of my scars. Only one girl mentioned it when in my class said "What's that on your leg" really loud, but other than that I got no comments.
Then, on the last PE lesson of the term, after I got changed and was waiting in the changing room to go to lunch, my teacher from last year was staring at my leg, looked kinda shocked then pulled me aside to an empty hallway round the corner and asked if I was alright.
This was the only teacher to have seen them without me telling them beforehand, e.g. the safeguarding team last year. She was so nice about it too. This is what she said: "I've noticed the scars on your leg, I'm just checking that you're alright. Are they old?" I then made it clear I didn't want to talk about it and told her the school already knows so there's no issues around safeguarding. And then all she said was "ok. Life just happens I guess, right?"
That has probably been the nicest interaction I've had with anyone about it. No pity, or pushing me to talk, or being patronising, just checking up on me, that's all. It's nice even I'm confused why she only just noticed when I was showing them from September and she only noticed them in December.
Anyway, it's a shame she's leaving now. Bye Ms Chima. You were a cool teacher.
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Butterfly_8
| 71 | 0 | 9 |
2020-01-03 21:45:41
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selfharm
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So, at the beginning of this school year I was said to myself "Right, you need to gain more confidence in showing your scars" so I decided not to wear my knee high socks at school anymore that I used to hide some of my scars. Only one girl mentioned it when in my class said "What's that on your leg" really loud, but other than that I got no comments. Then, on the last PE lesson of the term, after I got changed and was waiting in the changing room to go to lunch, my teacher from last year was staring at my leg, looked kinda shocked then pulled me aside to an empty hallway round the corner and asked if I was alright. This was the only teacher to have seen them without me telling them beforehand, e.g. the safeguarding team last year. She was so nice about it too. This is what she said: "I've noticed the scars on your leg, I'm just checking that you're alright. Are they old?" I then made it clear I didn't want to talk about it and told her the school already knows so there's no issues around safeguarding. And then all she said was "ok. Life just happens I guess, right?" That has probably been the nicest interaction I've had with anyone about it. No pity, or pushing me to talk, or being patronising, just checking up on me, that's all. It's nice even I'm confused why she only just noticed when I was showing them from September and she only noticed them in December. Anyway, it's a shame she's leaving now. Bye Ms Chima. You were a cool teacher.
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Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
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eiyn4a
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Any tips?
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0
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help-seeking
| 1 |
What habits have helped you deal with adhd as an adult?
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Waytooserious0987
| 1 | 0 | 1 |
2020-01-02 14:07:33
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ADHD
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<rs>What habits have helped you deal with adhd as an adult?<re>
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Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
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ej07jk
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Anyone experienced weird physical symptoms with extreme anxiety!
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0
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survey
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When I was at my worst with anxiety, I noticed some physical symptoms that I haven’t heard of many other people mentioning, so I guess I wanted to put it out there and see if others here have experienced the same thing.
A it of background: I am being successfully treated for depression, anxiety and OCD. I come from a science-oriented profession, so part of my “coping mechanisms” is researching online. As part of this research, I came to discover that anxiety can be due to a lack of inhibitory neurotransmitters in the brain. That mean that when a synapse fires, there is a secondary action that inhibits the synapse after it fires. With a lack of inhibitory neurotransmitters, I guess the synapse “gets out of control”.
Over time, using mindfulness, I’ve come to recognize that some of the bad features of my anxiety are actually qualities I already possessed, but which were “amplified”. For example, in my profession I have to be methodical - follow a set of rules or instructions. I found when my OCD would “flare up”, this quality would have the “volume turned up”, producing an obsessive approach to “following the rules”.
Now here is where I refer to my physical symptoms. When my anxiety was the most severe, I noticed my hearing was EXTREMELY acutely, to the point that some sounds would “hurt”. I also noticed the contrast on my eyesight was higher, sometimes being a bit “painful” (ie too bright), even my sense of smell was acute, sometimes resulting in me feeling nausea because of strong smells. I feel like the “turned up volume” in my brain also affected these physical experiences-but that’s just my theory.
These symptoms came and went a few times, each time associated with bouts of extreme anxiety.
Anyone else experienced this, or something like it?
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cuteandfluffy13
| 1 | 0 | 18 |
2020-01-02 16:16:42
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mentalillness
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<es>When I was at my worst with anxiety, I noticed some physical symptoms that I haven’t heard of many other people mentioning.<ee> <rs>so I guess I wanted to put it out there and see if others here have experienced the same thing.<re> <es>A it of background: I am being successfully treated for depression, anxiety and OCD. <ee> <es>I come from a science-oriented profession, so part of my “coping mechanisms” is researching online.<ee> <es> As part of this research, I came to discover that anxiety can be due to a lack of inhibitory neurotransmitters in the brain.<ee> <es> That mean that when a synapse fires, there is a secondary action that inhibits the synapse after it fires. <ee> <es>With a lack of inhibitory neurotransmitters, I guess the synapse “gets out of control”.<ee> <es>Over time, using mindfulness, I’ve come to recognize that some of the bad features of my anxiety are actually qualities I already possessed, but which were “amplified”. <ee> <es>For example, in my profession I have to be methodical - follow a set of rules or instructions.<ee> <es> I found when my OCD would “flare up”, this quality would have the “volume turned up”, producing an obsessive approach to “following the rules”.<ee> <es>Now here is where I refer to my physical symptoms.<ee> <efs> When my anxiety was the most severe, I noticed my hearing was EXTREMELY acutely, to the point that some sounds would “hurt”.<efe> <efs> I also noticed the contrast on my eyesight was higher, sometimes being a bit “painful” (ie too bright), even my sense of smell was acute, sometimes resulting in me feeling nausea because of strong smells. <efe> <efs>I feel like the “turned up volume” in my brain also affected these physical experiences-but that’s just my theory.<efe> <es>These symptoms came and went a few times, each time associated with bouts of extreme anxiety.<ee> <rs>Anyone else experienced this, or something like it?<re>
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Can you elaborate more on X ?
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what would help treat your symptoms
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eiu7fs
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What’s the best way to get the most pain out of a cut?
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0
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help-seeking
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I’m kinda new to cutting, only been doing it for a year or so and you guys seem to have more experience, for me I get the most out of cutting when there’s more pain, so what’s the best technique or way to cut and get the most pain out of it?
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panzer_man-5000
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
2020-01-02 05:51:51
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selfharm
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<es>I’m kinda new to cutting, only been doing it for a year or so and you guys seem to have more experience.<ee> <es>for me I get the most out of cutting when there’s more pain.<ee> <rs>so what’s the best technique or way to cut and get the most pain out of it?<re>
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Can you elaborate more on X ?
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why you started cutting yourself
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How did X make you feel?
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cutting yourself
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f3zm67
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I submitted his name to El Paso Zoo’s Quit Bugging Me Valentine’s Day event.
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0
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chitchat
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I donated $5 and submitted his name to the zoo. I know it’s petty but it feels good. A cockroach is going to be named after him and fed to an animal. I’m hoping a Meerkat is going to eat his roach. It’s the best I’ve got for a fuck you until court.
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isitmeorathrowaway
| 1 | 0 | 7 |
2020-02-14 22:03:34
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rapecounseling
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I donated $5 and submitted his name to the zoo. I know it’s petty but it feels good. A cockroach is going to be named after him and fed to an animal. I’m hoping a Meerkat is going to eat his roach. It’s the best I’ve got for a fuck you until court.
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Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
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eid2vn
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Does anyone else get hysterically upset over nothing, and then not want to tell anyone why you are so upset because you know they will think it is stupid, but they keep asking until you tell them, and then they tell you it is stupid to be upset over that?
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0
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survey
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And you're just like, "yeah, I know it is stupid, that's why I didn't want to tell you in the first place!" Then you end up getting even more upset at yourself for being upset over nothing?
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SofiaB04
| 1 | 0 | 2 |
2020-01-01 03:03:16
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BPD
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<es>Does anyone else get hysterically upset over nothing, and then not want to tell anyone why you are so upset because you know they will think it is stupid, but they keep asking until you tell them, and then they tell you it is stupid to be upset over that?<ee> <es>And you're just like, "yeah, I know it is stupid, that's why I didn't want to tell you in the first place!"<ee> <efs>Then you end up getting even more upset at yourself for being upset over nothing?<efe>
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What do you need help with now that X?
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you get hysterically upset over nothing
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ej3am7
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My deep dark secret is out.
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1b
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help-seeking
| 2 |
So in a previous post I had said that when I went to the ER for some laced heroin I had done one of the nurses ran her mouth. That’s what I was told but I guess the truth is that my boyfriend made a police report about the guy who was selling to me, and the cop he talked to is dating a good(?) friend of mine who I’ve known my whole life. If I know one thing about her it’s that she loves gossip. I already know several people know because a couple people have called my sister and even her fiancé asking about it. I’m from a small town and people talk. All these people are in my social circle and are even connected to some of my coworkers so I’m just waiting for my boss to find out. What sucks is that even though I don’t know for sure these people know now, they’re going to, and they’re just going to talk a bunch of shit behind my back. I’ve been so paranoid going to work and the way people look at me, just wondering if they know and what they’re thinking. They’re all normies and don’t understand addiction, trust me they’ve made it known, and I’d just have to bite my tongue and not tell them how ignorant they really are. Has anyone gone through something similar? How did you handle this?
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catmom2040
| 4 | 0 | 20 |
2020-01-02 19:58:06
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OpiatesRecovery
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<es>So in a previous post I had said that when I went to the ER for some laced heroin I had done one of the nurses ran her mouth.<ee> <es>That’s what I was told but I guess the truth is that my boyfriend made a police report about the guy who was selling to me, and the cop he talked to is dating a good(?) friend of mine who I’ve known my whole life.<ee> <es>If I know one thing about her it’s that she loves gossip.<ee> <es>I already know several people know because a couple people have called my sister and even her fiancé asking about it.<ee> <es>I’m from a small town and people talk.<ee> <es>All these people are in my social circle and are even connected to some of my coworkers so I’m just waiting for my boss to find out.<ee> <efs>What sucks is that even though I don’t know for sure these people know now, they’re going to, and they’re just going to talk a bunch of shit behind my back.<efe> <efs>I’ve been so paranoid going to work and the way people look at me, just wondering if they know and what they’re thinking.<efe> <es>They’re all normies and don’t understand addiction, trust me they’ve made it known, and I’d just have to bite my tongue and not tell them how ignorant they really are.<ee> <rs>Has anyone gone through something similar?<re> <rs>How did you handle this?<re>
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emyjr6
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I just want you all to know you’re not alone, we’re all suffering and I wish I could hug you and say it’ll be okay.
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0
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rant
| 2 |
I have a very dark past. I’m a csa survivor.
My ptsd has been really bad lately.
I’ve been robbed of my childhood and in my head I’m still stuck in that teen age. As if I’ve never developed into an adult mentally.
Everything feels so fresh, I’m reliving the moment it all came out to the surface and resorting to old coping mechanisms.
Every painful moment I think to myself “i don’t want to live my life like this”
I’m trying so hard to recover and heal but every time I make progress it’s like I’ve gone back two steps.
I’m having to fight even harder.
One day maybe I’ll be in a place where I can love myself and move past it or maybe not
Things I would tell a friend is that it’s okay to be angry and upset, you’re valid, those feelings are valid.
You didn’t deserve this and I’m sorry you had to go through so much pain.
You are a warrior
I love you and I believe in you.
<3 sending out all my love especially with how alone and lonely I’m feeling. I don’t want others to be feeling like this too.
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falalabeline
| 1 | 0 | 2 |
2020-01-10 22:44:21
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ptsd
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I have a very dark past. I’m a csa survivor. My ptsd has been really bad lately. I’ve been robbed of my childhood and in my head I’m still stuck in that teen age. As if I’ve never developed into an adult mentally. Everything feels so fresh, I’m reliving the moment it all came out to the surface and resorting to old coping mechanisms. Every painful moment I think to myself “i don’t want to live my life like this” I’m trying so hard to recover and heal but every time I make progress it’s like I’ve gone back two steps. I’m having to fight even harder. One day maybe I’ll be in a place where I can love myself and move past it or maybe not Things I would tell a friend is that it’s okay to be angry and upset, you’re valid, those feelings are valid. You didn’t deserve this and I’m sorry you had to go through so much pain. You are a warrior I love you and I believe in you. <3 sending out all my love especially with how alone and lonely I’m feeling. I don’t want others to be feeling like this too.
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Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
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positive
| true | 0 |
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