sub_id
string | title
string | Criticism
string | Intent
string | Readability
int64 | body
string | author
string | score
int64 | awards
int64 | numComms
int64 | created
string | subreddit
string | annotated_post_body
string | ES
int64 | EFS
int64 | RS
int64 | EMaskingQ
string | EMask
string | EFSMaskingQ
string | EFSMask
string | RMaskingQ
string | RMask
string | Comments
string | Annotated
bool | label_combination
int64 |
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ejdn9f
|
A koala during the Australian bushfires
|
0
|
chitchat
| 1 | null |
outdatedopinion
| 23 | 0 | 0 |
2020-01-03 10:26:17
|
sad
| null | 0 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
random
| true | 0 |
ejfkvx
|
not wanting to be alone -> rejection
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 1 |
hi guys, so i have an unexplainable fear of not wanting to be seen alone. im still schooling, so this fear is always haunting me. as such, im always trying to make plans with people to hang out in efforts to always be with someone. however, i am rejected some of these times, with people already having plans with others. i get very dejected, which leads me to not want to reach out to other people, which makes me feel lonely, and this cycle repeats. any advice on how to get over my fears?
|
tictacpuo
| 1 | 0 | 1 |
2020-01-03 13:45:13
|
socialanxiety
|
<es>hi guys, so i have an unexplainable fear of not wanting to be seen alone.<ee> <efs>im still schooling, so this fear is always haunting me.<efe> <es>as such, im always trying to make plans with people to hang out in efforts to always be with someone.<ee> <es>however, i am rejected some of these times, with people already having plans with others.<ee> <efs>i get very dejected, which leads me to not want to reach out to other people, which makes me feel lonely, and this cycle repeats.<efe> <rs>any advice on how to get over my fears?<re>
| 2 | 2 | 2 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 222 |
eki61y
|
extreme anxiety over quitting new job after 2.5 months
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 1 |
i am 27 and i gave my resignation letter for a job i started 2.5 months ago and now i am feeling really guilty. Since i started that job i never liked the day to day tasks , the systems were too manual and everything was very stressful. Now i am feeling really embarrassed and guilty being in the office these last 2 weeks because i feel like a failure I feel i let people down and i feel ashamed for qutting so early. I also feel really bad.for my manager since and the person who trained me since now they will have so much more work to do because i am leaving.
How do i manage dealing with this embarrasment? Also, I am embarrased of telling people i am going abroad for a 5 month contract for a new position even though its not secured yet, because i do not like being the centre of attention.
What should i do? I cant stip feeling guilty anf embarrassed about leaving, cant stop feeling bad for my manager, and dont know what to tell people of where i am going next.
|
sport5411
| 1 | 0 | 5 |
2020-01-05 20:00:23
|
socialanxiety
|
<es>i am 27 and i gave my resignation letter for a job i started 2.5 months ago and now i am feeling really guilty.<ee> <es>Since i started that job i never liked the day to day tasks , the systems were too manual and everything was very stressful.<ee> <efs>Now i am feeling really embarrassed and guilty being in the office these last 2 weeks because i feel like a failure I feel i let people down and i feel ashamed for qutting so early.<efe> <efs>I also feel really bad.for my manager since and the person who trained me since now they will have so much more work to do because i am leaving.<efe> <rs>How do i manage dealing with this embarrasment?<re> <rs>Also, I am embarrased of telling people i am going abroad for a 5 month contract for a new position even though its not secured yet, because i do not like being the centre of attention.<re> What should i do? I cant stip feeling guilty anf embarrassed about leaving, cant stop feeling bad for my manager, and dont know what to tell people of where i am going next.
| 2 | 2 | 2 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 222 |
eicscc
|
Prescribed Lexapro, but I’m a bit nervous to start taking it.
|
0
|
help-seeking
| 2 |
I just got a new doctor recently and finally brought up my anxiety issues with her. It’s been particularly bad the last two months due to stress and life changes. She was understanding, and thought it would be a good idea to try because it might help my GI issues I had been having. She told me she could prescribe me 10mg of lexapro to see if it worked for me. I told her to start me at 5mg instead and then we could work my way up later if needed. I was excited at first but now I’m a bit nervous to take it.
I want to feel better and find a solution to my overthinking and depression but I’ve never wanted to rely on taking pills mostly because of the side effects of said pills or of the withdrawal. I’ve never really taken anything for my anxiety in the past but I haven’t found any “natural” remedy that fixes me at my worst moments.
I had a doctor prescribe me busporine(sp?) when I was in high school but I couldn’t take it daily because it made me too tired to drive or function properly at school so I only took it when I felt particularly bad but it never gave me any abnormal side effects.
I really want to try lexapro but I’m so nervous about not really getting anything out of it and then having to cut it out.
I guess this is ironic because I don’t want to have to worry about stuff like this anymore, that was the whole point of the visit lol I don’t deal with nausea or headaches well and having to rely on pills scares me.
|
Aliveildrix
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
2020-01-01 02:34:46
|
Anxiety
|
<es>I just got a new doctor recently and finally brought up my anxiety issues with her.<ee> <es>It’s been particularly bad the last two months due to stress and life changes.<ee> <es>She was understanding, and thought it would be a good idea to try because it might help my GI issues I had been having.<ee> <es>She told me she could prescribe me 10mg of lexapro to see if it worked for me.<ee> <es>I told her to start me at 5mg instead and then we could work my way up later if needed.<ee> <efs>I was excited at first but now I’m a bit nervous to take it.<efe> <rs>I want to feel better and find a solution to my overthinking and depression but I’ve never wanted to rely on taking pills mostly because of the side effects of said pills or of the withdrawal.<re> <es>I’ve never really taken anything for my anxiety in the past but I haven’t found any “natural” remedy that fixes me at my worst moments.<ee> <efs>I had a doctor prescribe me busporine(sp?) when I was in high school but I couldn’t take it daily because it made me too tired to drive or function properly at school so I only took it when I felt particularly bad but it never gave me any abnormal side effects.<efe> <efs>I really want to try lexapro but I’m so nervous about not really getting anything out of it and then having to cut it out. <efe> <efs>I guess this is ironic because I don’t want to have to worry about stuff like this anymore, that was the whole point of the visit lol I don’t deal with nausea or headaches well and having to rely on pills scares me.<efe>
| 2 | 2 | 1 | null | null | null | null |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
what will help you feel better
| null | true | 221 |
emrhoo
|
Hong Kong: nearly a third of adults report PTSD symptoms due to ongoing unrest - Research also finds heavy use of social media to follow socio-political events appears to increase risk to mental health
|
0
|
chitchat
| 2 |
>Nearly one in three adults in Hong Kong reported symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder during months of often violent social unrest in the city, according to a study published in [the Lancet medical journal on Friday](https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lancet/article/PIIS0140-6736\(19\)33160-5/fulltext).
>
>And about one in 10 had symptoms of depression, figures comparable to those seen in areas of armed conflict or after terrorist attacks, the decade-long study led by researchers from the University of Hong Kong found.
>
>Prevalence of PTSD symptoms was six times higher than after the last major pro-democracy “Occupy” protests in 2014, rising from about 5% in March 2015 to almost 32% in September-November 2019.
>
>“With social unrest rising around the world – including in major cities such as Barcelona, Delhi, Paris and Santiago in 2019 – the issue of how social unrest impacts population mental health is of great public-health importance,” said Michael Ni from the University of Hong Kong, who co-led the research.
https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/jan/10/hong-kong-nearly-a-third-of-adults-report-ptsd-symptoms-study
see: *Ni, M. Y., Yao, X. I., Leung, K. S. M., Yau, C., Leung, C. M. C., Lun, P., … Leung, G. M. (2020). [Depression and post-traumatic stress during major social unrest in Hong Kong: a 10-year prospective cohort study](https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lancet/article/PIIS0140-6736\(19\)33160-5/fulltext). The Lancet. https://doi.org/10.1016/s0140-6736(19)33160-5*
|
BlueAzzure
| 1 | 0 | 2 |
2020-01-10 14:16:58
|
ptsd
|
>Nearly one in three adults in Hong Kong reported symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder during months of often violent social unrest in the city, according to a study published in [the Lancet medical journal on Friday](https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lancet/article/PIIS0140-6736\(19\)33160-5/fulltext). > >And about one in 10 had symptoms of depression, figures comparable to those seen in areas of armed conflict or after terrorist attacks, the decade-long study led by researchers from the University of Hong Kong found. > >Prevalence of PTSD symptoms was six times higher than after the last major pro-democracy “Occupy” protests in 2014, rising from about 5% in March 2015 to almost 32% in September-November 2019. > >“With social unrest rising around the world – including in major cities such as Barcelona, Delhi, Paris and Santiago in 2019 – the issue of how social unrest impacts population mental health is of great public-health importance,” said Michael Ni from the University of Hong Kong, who co-led the research. https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/jan/10/hong-kong-nearly-a-third-of-adults-report-ptsd-symptoms-study see: *Ni, M. Y., Yao, X. I., Leung, K. S. M., Yau, C., Leung, C. M. C., Lun, P., … Leung, G. M. (2020). [Depression and post-traumatic stress during major social unrest in Hong Kong: a 10-year prospective cohort study](https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lancet/article/PIIS0140-6736\(19\)33160-5/fulltext). The Lancet. https://doi.org/10.1016/s0140-6736(19)33160-5*
| 0 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
random
| true | 0 |
eijabj
|
I haven't self harmed in an entire year
|
0
|
chitchat
| 1 |
I just wanted to tell people cause I'm decently proud of myself
|
JMC0130
| 1 | 0 | 31 |
2020-01-01 15:11:35
|
selfharm
|
I just wanted to tell people cause I'm decently proud of myself
| 0 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
positive
| true | 0 |
evqpi5
|
Women (18+, cis and trans inclusive) Needed for Treatment Study for Sexual Distress
|
0
|
chitchat
| 2 |
The Sexual Psychophysiology Lab at the University of Texas at Austin is recruiting women from across the U.S. and Canada who have had unwanted, nonconsensual, or abusive sexual experiences in their childhood or adolescence to participate in a study assessing a novel treatment aimed at reducing sexual distress. Study participation is done entirely online (aside from a phone screen for eligibility) and involves completing questionnaires three times and engaging in expressive writing sessions five times over the course of three weeks. Participants will be compensated $40.00 as a thank you for your time. All data collected is completely confidential. The research study is IRB approved and is being conducted by a student in the Clinical Psychology PhD program at the University of Texas at Austin, and is also overseen by a trained Clinical Psychology Professor. Women (cis- and trans- inclusive) who are over the age of 18 and able to read and write in English may be eligible to participate. If you are interested in the study, please email the Sexual Psychophysiology Lab for more information about the SEADS Study at [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected]), or call us at (512) 232-4805. If you are outside of the U.S., you can use our toll free number: 1-877-232-4805. IRB : 2017-12-0053
|
mestonlab
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
2020-01-29 18:18:35
|
rapecounseling
|
The Sexual Psychophysiology Lab at the University of Texas at Austin is recruiting women from across the U.S. and Canada who have had unwanted, nonconsensual, or abusive sexual experiences in their childhood or adolescence to participate in a study assessing a novel treatment aimed at reducing sexual distress. Study participation is done entirely online (aside from a phone screen for eligibility) and involves completing questionnaires three times and engaging in expressive writing sessions five times over the course of three weeks. Participants will be compensated $40.00 as a thank you for your time. All data collected is completely confidential. The research study is IRB approved and is being conducted by a student in the Clinical Psychology PhD program at the University of Texas at Austin, and is also overseen by a trained Clinical Psychology Professor. Women (cis- and trans- inclusive) who are over the age of 18 and able to read and write in English may be eligible to participate. If you are interested in the study, please email the Sexual Psychophysiology Lab for more information about the SEADS Study at [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected]), or call us at (512) 232-4805. If you are outside of the U.S., you can use our toll free number: 1-877-232-4805. IRB : 2017-12-0053
| 0 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
random
| true | 0 |
eizxwu
|
Thoughts on being back to the grind!
|
0
|
chitchat
| 1 |
Hi guys! I decided to stop harping over my relapse and get to work. I started therapy and my therapist suggested that I quit worrying about my day-count and focus more on the QUALITY of my recovery which I think is lovely advice. So I’m here to announce my new sobriety date - 12/23. But who cares about the number of days, all we REALLY have is today and that’s so profound.
I need accountability. I plan to find a temp sponsor in Las Vegas to utilize til I move back to Cbus next month. I can’t, but WE fucking can, y’all!!!! Cheers to a new decade. I can’t wait to be the best version of myself.
If nobody has told you they love you today; I do- I fucking love you ♥️♥️♥️♥️
Laur 3.0 coming soon, ODAAT
xoxoxoxoxo
|
imlyoung614
| 1 | 0 | 6 |
2020-01-02 15:56:07
|
alcoholicsanonymous
|
Hi guys! I decided to stop harping over my relapse and get to work. I started therapy and my therapist suggested that I quit worrying about my day-count and focus more on the QUALITY of my recovery which I think is lovely advice. So I’m here to announce my new sobriety date - 12/23. But who cares about the number of days, all we REALLY have is today and that’s so profound. I need accountability. I plan to find a temp sponsor in Las Vegas to utilize til I move back to Cbus next month. I can’t, but WE fucking can, y’all!!!! Cheers to a new decade. I can’t wait to be the best version of myself. If nobody has told you they love you today; I do- I fucking love you ♥️♥️♥️♥️ Laur 3.0 coming soon, ODAAT xoxoxoxoxo
| 0 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
positive
| true | 0 |
ej6bzs
|
I can‘t get over this person and it‘s so annoying
|
1b
|
rant
| 2 |
In 2017 I got to know a really nice dude at a party and we got along great. After two hours we already sat on the couch, cuddling and drunkenly singing. From then on, the friendship got more intimate, much faster than friendships normally develop for me. We cuddled on a regular basis, I would allow him to touch me whereever he wanted without me feeling disgusted about it, he did the kind of thing where he would hug me for far longer than a normal hug lasted - by mid 2018 we were pretty much just flirting all the time. I previously believed I was asexual, but I was ready to question that as I was (am?) rather young. Basically, he made me certain of the fact that I was at least not completely aromantic, as I crushed really hard on him.
Well, suddenly he got a girlfriend. And a really wonderful one at that - they are really good for each other and I kinda see them getting married one day. Anyway, I kind of didn‘t contact him for a while because I wanted to get over it and decided what I needed was merely time to figure myself out and get over the whole situation. That was one and a half years ago and honestly; I think I had enough time by now. But the feelings are still there, I‘ve just gotten better at hiding them.
We are good friends and really enjoy each other‘s company. He‘s the only one in my life I can talk about theatre and art with, which are tremendously important to me. Nobody supports that quite as he does. I’d rather just be normal friends, always having this wishful thinking of us in a relationship in my mind while talking to him is terribly annoying. Cutting him out of my life would be horrible to both of us.
I have tried dating to get over it, but tinder isn‘t doing it for me and the only person I had a crush on after him turned out to be his brother (I didn‘t know this before and yes, it was embarrassing). Also, I‘m scared that just falling in love with another person won‘t help, as I don‘t know if that would make me fall out of love with him. And I really don‘t want to drag another person into this mess I created.
I also want to explore my own sexuality. I don‘t masturbate as I don‘t get any pleasure out of that and would like to find out if that‘s different with another person, but I‘m having problems with letting strangers touch me in any, let alone sexual way. So I‘m feeling like me not being able to get over him is also forbidding me to ever fall in love again, which at the same time puts a hold onto me exploring my sexuality.
Anyway, I‘m deeply frustrated by this whole situation I‘ve been in for one and a half years. I know it will get better someday and somehow, but I said the same thing a year ago and I‘m getting tired of waiting for that. If anyone could help me figure this goddamn bitch of a complicated, unsatisfying situation out, I‘d be very thankful.
|
leprosy_in_butt
| 32 | 0 | 16 |
2020-01-02 23:30:04
|
selfhelp
|
<es>In 2017 I got to know a really nice dude at a party and we got along great.<ee> <es>After two hours we already sat on the couch, cuddling and drunkenly singing.<ee> <es>From then on, the friendship got more intimate, much faster than friendships normally develop for me.<ee> <es>We cuddled on a regular basis, I would allow him to touch me whereever he wanted without me feeling disgusted about it, he did the kind of thing where he would hug me for far longer than a normal hug lasted - by mid 2018 we were pretty much just flirting all the time.<ee> <es>I previously believed I was asexual, but I was ready to question that as I was (am?) rather young.<ee> <es>Basically, he made me certain of the fact that I was at least not completely aromantic, as I crushed really hard on him.<ee> <es>Well, suddenly he got a girlfriend.<ee> <es>And a really wonderful one at that - they are really good for each other and I kinda see them getting married one day.<ee> <es>Anyway, I kind of didn‘t contact him for a while because I wanted to get over it and decided what I needed was merely time to figure myself out and get over the whole situation.<ee> <es>That was one and a half years ago and honestly; I think I had enough time by now.<ee> <es>But the feelings are still there, I‘ve just gotten better at hiding them.<ee> <es>We are good friends and really enjoy each other‘s company.<ee> <es>He‘s the only one in my life I can talk about theatre and art with, which are tremendously important to me.<ee> <es>Nobody supports that quite as he does.<ee> <es>I’d rather just be normal friends, always having this wishful thinking of us in a relationship in my mind while talking to him is terribly annoying.<ee> <es>Cutting him out of my life would be horrible to both of us.<ee> <es>I have tried dating to get over it, but tinder isn‘t doing it for me and the only person I had a crush on after him turned out to be his brother (I didn‘t know this before and yes, it was embarrassing).<ee> <efs>Also, I‘m scared that just falling in love with another person won‘t help, as I don‘t know if that would make me fall out of love with him.<efe> <efs>And I really don‘t want to drag another person into this mess I created.<efe> <rs>I also want to explore my own sexuality.<re> <efs>I don‘t masturbate as I don‘t get any pleasure out of that and would like to find out if that‘s different with another person, but I‘m having problems with letting strangers touch me in any, let alone sexual way.<efe> <efs>So I‘m feeling like me not being able to get over him is also forbidding me to ever fall in love again, which at the same time puts a hold onto me exploring my sexuality.<efe> <efs>Anyway, I‘m deeply frustrated by this whole situation I‘ve been in for one and a half years.<efe> <efs>I know it will get better someday and somehow, but I said the same thing a year ago and I‘m getting tired of waiting for that.<efe> <rs>If anyone could help me figure this goddamn bitch of a complicated, unsatisfying situation out, I‘d be very thankful.<re>
| 2 | 2 | 2 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 222 |
ek02kx
|
well, i guess shes not comming back :(
|
0
|
rant
| 1 | null |
saoshyant_sh
| 4 | 0 | 13 |
2020-01-04 18:09:54
|
sad
|
<es>well, i guess shes not comming back :(<ee> nan
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
why she's not coming back
|
How did X make you feel?
|
her not coming back
|
What do you need help with now that X?
|
she's not coming back
| null | true | 100 |
ei88vj
|
I hate New Year’s Eve
|
1b
|
rant
| 1 |
Everyone is supposed to be out having a great time and it’s so much pressure to have the best NYE but I never have anything to do. Even when I had a decent group of friends my one closest friend would always be working “because it’s great money and why not” my other closest friend would refuse to go out or do anything because she was an anxious mess and I didn’t want to go out alone or with acquaintances, so I sat home.
I’ve been with my boyfriend for 6 years and he can never find anything to do either so it’s also just us at home alone mostly. It sucks. I’m not excited about the new year. I did my makeup to make me feel a little better and festive, it was a chore but I’m enjoying it.
I’ve been miserable in so many ways the past 6 months and am starting to fake it for my therapist. But I’m not happy.
|
cataskate
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
2019-12-31 20:19:48
|
depression
|
<es>Everyone is supposed to be out having a great time and it’s so much pressure to have the best NYE but I never have anything to do.<ee> <es>Even when I had a decent group of friends my one closest friend would always be working “because it’s great money and why not” my other closest friend would refuse to go out or do anything because she was an anxious mess and I didn’t want to go out alone or with acquaintances, so I sat home. <ee> <es>I’ve been with my boyfriend for 6 years and he can never find anything to do either so it’s also just us at home alone mostly.<ee> <efs>It sucks.<efe> <efs>I’m not excited about the new year.<efe> <efs>I did my makeup to make me feel a little better and festive, it was a chore but I’m enjoying it.<efe> <efs>I’ve been miserable in so many ways the past 6 months and am starting to fake it for my therapist.<efe> <efs>But I’m not happy.<efe>
| 2 | 1 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
how you feel miserable
|
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you feel the therapist is not helping
| null | true | 210 |
f483pr
|
Any one else struggle to get over your love for someone who’s untreated mental health issues led the relationship to fall apart?
|
1b
|
survey
| 1 |
Simply that, I (24M) just can’t stop thinking about and knowing I love her(20F). Ik the dark places she’s in rn and how it lead to our demise. I know the pain she caused had deep roots to her mental health. I constantly flip flop between letting that explain it and forgiving it essentially bc I unconditionally love her but I also have to hold those actions accountable and shouldn’t even be in love with someone who did those things.
Regardless, I still am.
I just want her to find the path to true self-love and inner peace so she can be happy. I can’t stop caring about her even long after the initial breakup. How can I even get over someone that I love despite them having done everything possible to hurt me as a partner. Like there aren’t worse things she could really do that would make me go, okay, now this is easy for me to not care. I can’t avoid all the things that remind me of her. It’s constantly there. Fuck I hope she’s doing alright.
|
herbandspiceforlife
| 1 | 0 | 5 |
2020-02-15 11:14:56
|
getting_over_it
|
<es>Any one else struggle to get over your love for someone who’s untreated mental health issues led the relationship to fall apart?<ee> <es>Simply that, I (24M) just can’t stop thinking about and knowing I love her(20F).<ee> <es>Ik the dark places she’s in rn and how it lead to our demise.<ee> <es>I know the pain she caused had deep roots to her mental health.<ee> <es>I constantly flip flop between letting that explain it and forgiving it essentially bc I unconditionally love her but I also have to hold those actions accountable and shouldn’t even be in love with someone who did those things. <ee> Regardless, I still am. <rs>I just want her to find the path to true self-love and inner peace so she can be happy.<re> <es>I can’t stop caring about her even long after the initial breakup.<ee> <rs>How can I even get over someone that I love despite them having done everything possible to hurt me as a partner.<re> <es>Like there aren’t worse things she could really do that would make me go, okay, now this is easy for me to not care.<ee> <es>I can’t avoid all the things that remind me of her.<ee> <es>It’s constantly there.<ee> Fuck I hope she’s doing alright.
| 2 | 0 | 1 | null | null |
How did X make you feel?
|
the breakup
|
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
what would help you get over her
| null | true | 201 |
eiu3sw
|
This was me yesterday
|
0
|
chitchat
| 4 | null |
KikilooRose
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
2020-01-02 05:42:14
|
socialanxiety
| null | 0 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
random
| true | 0 |
eievdb
|
I want to leave fear of rejection in 2019
|
1a
|
rant
| 1 |
I get really attached to how people view me or think of me. It’s debilitating at times and makes me so anxious that I’m unlikeable or annoying. It makes me quiet in groups and makes me feel I have to dial back and I am as a person so I won’t get judged. 2020 is about learning to myself and being okay with being talked about and disliked sometimes.
|
1506892
| 1 | 0 | 7 |
2020-01-01 06:02:13
|
Anxiety
|
<es>I get really attached to how people view me or think of me.<ee> <efs>It’s debilitating at times and makes me so anxious that I’m unlikeable or annoying.<efe> <efs>It makes me quiet in groups and makes me feel I have to dial back and I am as a person so I won’t get judged.<efe> <rs>2020 is about learning to myself and being okay with being talked about and disliked sometimes.<re>
| 2 | 2 | 1 |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
how you get attached to what people think of you
| null | null |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
what would help you overcome your anxiety
| null | true | 221 |
eiup97
|
So fucking done
|
1a
|
rant
| 2 |
Relapsed hard after about a year of only smoking weed and drinking occasionally. Idk why I put myself through this shit I know this is what happens yet I honestly can’t stop myself. When I get hit with a craving I just lose control and get super compulsive. Just did the last of my cocaine and I swear to god I’m never touching the shit ever again. No cocaine, no opiates ,no benzos, no ketamine ever again. I wasn’t even enjoying it while I was doing it because I felt so ashamed, but I physically couldn’t stop myself. I’ve know I was a drug addict since I first smoke weed but something about cocaine makes me go completely off the rails. My nose is fucked and I feel like complete shit. I’m honestly done with reddit too all these drug subreddits trigger me so fucking bad. Next time I have a craving I’m going to try and remember this feeling, but you guys know how that goes in a year I’ll probably only remember how fun it is. My fucking brain man this shit is like a curse. I remember a year ago I felt the same way as I do right now and here we are again, never learn my lesson. I’m done with this shit. Now I’m gonna feel like complete shit for a solid week coming off this binge. Why do I do this to myself.
|
JTurtle83
| 1 | 0 | 1 |
2020-01-02 06:40:35
|
addiction
|
<es>Relapsed hard after about a year of only smoking weed and drinking occasionally.<ee> <es>Idk why I put myself through this shit I know this is what happens yet I honestly can’t stop myself.<ee> <es>When I get hit with a craving I just lose control and get super compulsive.<ee> <rs>Just did the last of my cocaine and I swear to god I’m never touching the shit ever again.<re> <rs>No cocaine, no opiates ,no benzos, no ketamine ever again.<re> <efs>I wasn’t even enjoying it while I was doing it because I felt so ashamed, but I physically couldn’t stop myself.<efe> <efs>I’ve know I was a drug addict since I first smoke weed but something about cocaine makes me go completely off the rails.<efe> <efs>My nose is fucked and I feel like complete shit.<efe> <es>I’m honestly done with reddit too all these drug subreddits trigger me so fucking bad.<ee> Next time I have a craving I’m going to try and remember this feeling, but you guys know how that goes in a year I’ll probably only remember how fun it is. My fucking brain man this shit is like a curse. <es>I remember a year ago I felt the same way as I do right now and here we are again, never learn my lesson.<ee> I’m done with this shit. <efs>Now I’m gonna feel like complete shit for a solid week coming off this binge.<efe> Why do I do this to myself.
| 2 | 2 | 1 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
what would help you stay clean
| null | true | 221 |
ei8ax6
|
Do you all get stressed about having family round? Or at least what level of anxiety over family get togethers is normal?
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1a
|
survey
| 1 |
Just having sisters, mum and grandparents over for New Year’s Day but this adds up to 12 adults and 6 children. We have lots of stuff set up but have to do a roast. We all have a virus. I feel stupidly anxious about it. I just wish I could enjoy stuff
|
boringusername
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
2019-12-31 20:24:07
|
Anxiety
|
<rs>Do you all get stressed about having family round?<re> <rs>Or at least what level of anxiety over family get togethers is normal?<re> <es>Just having sisters, mum and grandparents over for New Year’s Day but this adds up to 12 adults and 6 children.<ee> <es>We have lots of stuff set up but have to do a roast.<ee> <es>We all have a virus.<ee> <es>I feel stupidly anxious about it.<ee> I just wish I could enjoy stuff
| 2 | 0 | 2 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null |
How did X make you feel?
|
family get togethers
| null | null |
title
| true | 202 |
eit7sx
|
I hate having bpd
|
1a
|
rant
| 1 |
It hurts. It's hard. I'm constantly paranoid, scared, unsure of myself....
I got triggered bc I was talking to my SO about how I've been struggling with my daily routine these days and my SO cut me off to tell me he bought bread
No one's perfect. I cut people off too in conversation sometimes..but lately I've been feeling really disconnected from my SO and I was attempting to connect by being vulnerable instead of havingy guard up and now I feel like retreating into my shell ...
I just hate being so hypersensitive and fragile. The weaker I feel the harder I have to work to look normal on the outside...
|
C00kieCrumbsss
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
2020-01-02 04:22:05
|
BPD
|
<es>I hate having bpd<ee> <efs>It hurts.<efe> <efs>It's hard.<efe> <efs>I'm constantly paranoid, scared, unsure of myself....<efe> <es>I got triggered bc I was talking to my SO about how I've been struggling with my daily routine these days and my SO cut me off to tell me he bought bread <ee> <es>No one's perfect.<ee> <efs>I cut people off too in conversation sometimes..but lately I've been feeling really disconnected from my SO and I was attempting to connect by being vulnerable instead of havingy guard up and now I feel like retreating into my shell ...<efe> <efs>I just hate being so hypersensitive and fragile.<efe> <efs>The weaker I feel the harder I have to work to look normal on the outside...<efe>
| 1 | 2 | 0 |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
about your bpd
| null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you hate being so hypersensitive
| null | true | 120 |
eisqgs
|
You were okay with losing me as a friend for an easy fuck
|
1b
|
rant
| 2 |
You’d never taken advantage of the situation before. I’ve been disgustingly drunk and vulnerable around you before and you never hurt me. So why? Why were you okay with ruining our friendship to get your dick wet? Because I fell asleep in your house? Because my spouse felt safe leaving me there? Because I was more drunk than usual? Why?
You are a selfish bastard and i hate you. You have invaded my life completely. All my nightmares are you. All my flashbacks are you. Every knock on my front door is you coming to hurt me. Every noise that startles me is you. I can’t have sex with my fucking spouse because I can’t tell if it’s you or him. I’m on fucking edge all the time. I can’t relax. I don’t feel safe. You did this to me.
You didn’t even feel bad. Our friends called you out, called you a rapist, and you blamed me. You blamed me for getting drunk, for feeling safe with you, for moving my hips. You got mad at me that our friends abandoned you, that they don’t trust you, that they blamed you and not me. Fuck you. I was asleep and you were sober. I don’t even have complete memories for most of that evening. You commented on how drunk I was. You commented on how you were babysitting us because you were only buzzed. I only know that because that’s what my friends said you said. I was shitfaced and you were not. Fuck. You.
We were such good friends. I didn’t click with anyone on my friends group as well as I did with you. We had the same hobbies and celebrity crushes. We enjoyed the same beer and food. Why did you ruin this? I spent a week trying to figure out if my friend was this monster. I spent a week trying to reconcile the differences between my friend and my rapist. I couldn’t imagine my friend and you were the same person all along. Fuck you.
|
deeplynugget
| 1 | 0 | 6 |
2020-01-02 03:40:12
|
rapecounseling
|
<es>You’d never taken advantage of the situation before.<ee> <es>I’ve been disgustingly drunk and vulnerable around you before and you never hurt me.<ee> <es>So why?<ee> <es>Why were you okay with ruining our friendship to get your dick wet?<ee> <es>Because I fell asleep in your house?<ee> <es>Because my spouse felt safe leaving me there?<ee> <es>Because I was more drunk than usual?<ee> Why? <efs>You are a selfish bastard and i hate you.<efe> <efs>You have invaded my life completely.<efe> <efs>All my nightmares are you.<efe> <efs>All my flashbacks are you.<efe> <efs>Every knock on my front door is you coming to hurt me.<efe> <efs>Every noise that startles me is you.<efe> <efs>I can’t have sex with my fucking spouse because I can’t tell if it’s you or him.<efe> <efs>I’m on fucking edge all the time.<efe> <efs>I can’t relax.<efe> <efs>I don’t feel safe.<efe> <efs>You did this to me. <efe> <es>You didn’t even feel bad.<ee> <es>Our friends called you out, called you a rapist, and you blamed me.<ee> <es>You blamed me for getting drunk, for feeling safe with you, for moving my hips.<ee> <es>You got mad at me that our friends abandoned you, that they don’t trust you, that they blamed you and not me.<ee> Fuck you. <es>I was asleep and you were sober.<ee> <es>I don’t even have complete memories for most of that evening.<ee> <es>You commented on how drunk I was.<ee> <es>You commented on how you were babysitting us because you were only buzzed.<ee> <es>I only know that because that’s what my friends said you said.<ee> <es>I was shitfaced and you were not.<ee> Fuck. You. <es>We were such good friends.<ee> <es>I didn’t click with anyone on my friends group as well as I did with you.<ee> <es>We had the same hobbies and celebrity crushes.<ee> <es>We enjoyed the same beer and food.<ee> <es>Why did you ruin this?<ee> <es>I spent a week trying to figure out if my friend was this monster.<ee> <es>I spent a week trying to reconcile the differences between my friend and my rapist.<ee> <es>I couldn’t imagine my friend and you were the same person all along.<ee> Fuck you.
| 2 | 2 | 0 | null | null | null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
|
your close friend ruined your life
| null | true | 220 |
el9ph2
|
cocaine and alcohol is ruining my life
|
1a
|
rant
| 2 |
if anyone has been through this or is going through this i would love to hear your thoughts, i need that right now.
for the past year i’ve been abusing cocaine and alcohol. all my friends do it so i started doing it too. i tried drugs in the past but this past year i have done it way too much. i don’t know what to do, i want to stop but i also don’t. i have so much fun in the moment and all my worries go away, but as soon as i’m alone i feel so horrible about myself and regret everything. i tell myself i’m going to stop but the next chance i have i do it all again.
i started dating this guy who i was madly i love with about a year ago. he did it a lot so i started doing it with him. my best friend also does it so it was literally everywhere in my life. i don’t think i was pressured into it because i wanted to do it, but it was hard to say no when everyone around you is living this lifestyle. i broke up with my (now ex) boyfriend about a month ago and the only way i know how to cope with it is drinking excessively and doing crazy amounts of blow. sometimes i stay up till 8am just craving for more because i don’t want to stop, because i know when i’m sober i’m going to be miserable. it’s a horrible cycle. it feels like it helps the pain in the moment but i know it’s not doing anything good for me.
i feel like i’m wasting my life away, i’m 21 and i’ve dropped out of school and i only work a part time job that barely supports my partying lifestyle. my family knows and they want to get me help but i get so angry at them and i tell them i’m okay. but i’m not. i feel like such a disappointment to them all the time. i don’t know why im like this and i hate myself for it. part of me doesn’t want to get help because i don’t want to stop doing this, but part of me knows i need help and i can’t keep living like this.
|
uglyg1997
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
2020-01-07 10:13:05
|
addiction
|
<rs>if anyone has been through this or is going through this i would love to hear your thoughts, i need that right now. <re> <es>for the past year i’ve been abusing cocaine and alcohol.<ee> <es>all my friends do it so i started doing it too.<ee> <es>i tried drugs in the past but this past year i have done it way too much.<ee> <es>i don’t know what to do, i want to stop but i also don’t.<ee> <efs>i have so much fun in the moment and all my worries go away, but as soon as i’m alone i feel so horrible about myself and regret everything.<efe> <es>i tell myself i’m going to stop but the next chance i have i do it all again.<ee> <es>i started dating this guy who i was madly i love with about a year ago.<ee> <es>he did it a lot so i started doing it with him.<ee> <es>my best friend also does it so it was literally everywhere in my life.<ee> <es>i don’t think i was pressured into it because i wanted to do it, but it was hard to say no when everyone around you is living this lifestyle.<ee> <es>i broke up with my (now ex) boyfriend about a month ago and the only way i know how to cope with it is drinking excessively and doing crazy amounts of blow.<ee> <es>sometimes i stay up till 8am just craving for more because i don’t want to stop, because i know when i’m sober i’m going to be miserable.<ee> <es>it’s a horrible cycle.<ee> <efs>it feels like it helps the pain in the moment but i know it’s not doing anything good for me. <efe> <efs>i feel like i’m wasting my life away, i’m 21 and i’ve dropped out of school and i only work a part time job that barely supports my partying lifestyle.<efe> <es>my family knows and they want to get me help but i get so angry at them and i tell them i’m okay.<ee> but i’m not. <efs>i feel like such a disappointment to them all the time.<efe> <efs>i don’t know why im like this and i hate myself for it.<efe> part of me doesn’t want to get help because i don’t want to stop doing this, but part of me knows i need help and i can’t keep living like this.
| 2 | 2 | 2 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 222 |
ejpy1n
|
Need some advice around stress/pressure for work
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 1 |
I need some advice, I feel like I need to pressure to get things done
I’m a young grad, in design and innovation,
I dream of building/creating and designing digital products and services, brands and cultures with technology for people for impact and for good but when it comes to ideating and conceptualising I am use to the parameters and pressure that university gave me I feel unaccustomed to the idea of driving pressure on to myself for the success and development of my own projects to be brought to life.
I Just have not built something I’m proud of in a long time. I want to know how I can get out of this hurdle and how I can put pressure on myself to drive projects. I’m lost and getting very saddened by the fact that when I start to create/conceptualise I cannot finish things because. Because. It feels like there’s no weight? Please please advice anyone!
|
kees_bakker
| 2 | 0 | 0 |
2020-01-04 02:12:12
|
selfhelp
|
<rs>I need some advice, I feel like I need to pressure to get things done<re> I’m a young grad, in design and innovation, <es>I dream of building/creating and designing digital products and services, brands and cultures with technology for people for impact and for good but when it comes to ideating and conceptualising I am use to the parameters and pressure that university gave me.<ee> <efs>I feel unaccustomed to the idea of driving pressure on to myself for the success and development of my own projects to be brought to life.<efe> <es>I Just have not built something I’m proud of in a long time.<ee> <rs>I want to know how I can get out of this hurdle and how I can put pressure on myself to drive projects.<re> <efs>I’m lost and getting very saddened by the fact that when I start to create/conceptualise I cannot finish things because.<efe> Because. <efs>It feels like there’s no weight?<efe> <rs>Please please advice anyone!<re>
| 2 | 2 | 2 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 222 |
epfc8q
|
When did you open up more?
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 1 |
I find it extremely hard to open up to my Mom and Brother. I’ve kept them in the dark about my problem for years, living states away made it easy to do so.
Opening up to my close friends wasn’t easy by any means, but compared to telling my family it’s a walk in the park. I’m not sure how to approach my mom she hasn’t drank a day in her life, due to her parents being alcoholics, I’m afraid of letting her down and stressing her out.
How do you know when is the right time to open up to family members? How did you approach it?
|
BiigBeaux
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
2020-01-16 06:10:29
|
alcoholicsanonymous
|
I<es> find it extremely hard to open up to my Mom and Brother.<ee> <es>I’ve kept them in the dark about my problem for years, living states away made it easy to do so. <ee> <es>Opening up to my close friends wasn’t easy by any means, but compared to telling my family it’s a walk in the park.<ee> <efs>I’m not sure how to approach my mom she hasn’t drank a day in her life, due to her parents being alcoholics, I’m afraid of letting her down and stressing her out. <efe> <rs>How do you know when is the right time to open up to family members?<re> <rs>How did you approach it?<re>
| 2 | 2 | 2 | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 222 |
eiqkt4
|
Results from my reassessment came in
|
1b
|
rant
| 3 |
So I was diagnosed at 7 with ADHD. I felt stigmatized by this because until college the word “learning disability” was constantly reinforced and it made me feel less than.
Fast forward to 32 years old and I finally decide to accept that yes I have ADHD, and no I’m not “incapable or stupid”. I thought it would be nice to get validation from a professional.
Many of you might relate to feeling inadequate, sometimes in my head things make total sense but they come out very poorly depending on the day well err moment. This has always been a big hang up for me, looking stupid in any capacity is very hard for me to handle.
Anyway I went ahead and made an appointment for the 4 hour assessment, which was 5 hours and included waiting and speaking briefly before the test to the doctor about my current “condition”.
The results came back two weeks later and the doctor tells me more or less that my IQ is too high to have ADHD, that what I have is GAD only (I already knew I had GAD). And if I had ADHD I wouldn’t have done as well on this (stupid f-in) test (made by Pearson).
I’m pist off. I spent the last 15 years of my life working hard at being a good listener when one on one (albeit I still struggle if people take too long kinda like I am here—get to your point already Fawn lol). I spent a lot of time working on adapting to the way society expects me to be so I can hold a job and keep my life somewhat together.
I slept well before the test, I ate breakfast, I meditated. I did *all the things* to make sure I was clear headed and I regret it. I shouldn’t have been at my best.
So now I feel disregarded, I told her I don’t believe these results. I came here for validation, not even interested in ADHD medication. I mean, she didn’t even ask about my family history of mental health, I told her right before the test began bc I felt that might be an important indicator?
Has anyone taken this test and not given the right diagnosis in here? I’m struggling with feeling deflated. Look, I don’t want ADHD, but I have it, it effects my relationships and me on a daily basis. And please don’t reply with “maybe you don’t have ADHD”, because I really am just looking for support.
I’m in Illinois currently, planning to relocate to Oregon where I’ll try again in a year.
THANKS FRIENDS
|
fawnberry
| 1 | 0 | 16 |
2020-01-02 00:44:35
|
ADHD
|
<es>So I was diagnosed at 7 with ADHD.<ee> <efs>I felt stigmatized by this because until college the word “learning disability” was constantly reinforced and it made me feel less than.<efe> <es>Fast forward to 32 years old and I finally decide to accept that yes I have ADHD, and no I’m not “incapable or stupid”.<ee> <es> I thought it would be nice to get validation from a professional. <ee> <efs>Many of you might relate to feeling inadequate, sometimes in my head things make total sense but they come out very poorly depending on the day well err moment.<efe> <es>This has always been a big hang up for me, looking stupid in any capacity is very hard for me to handle. <ee> <es>Anyway I went ahead and made an appointment for the 4 hour assessment, which was 5 hours and included waiting and speaking briefly before the test to the doctor about my current “condition”.<ee> <es>The results came back two weeks later and the doctor tells me more or less that my IQ is too high to have ADHD, that what I have is GAD only (I already knew I had GAD).<ee> <es>And if I had ADHD I wouldn’t have done as well on this (stupid f-in) test (made by Pearson).<ee> <efs>I’m pist off.<efe> <es>I spent the last 15 years of my life working hard at being a good listener when one on one (albeit I still struggle if people take too long kinda like I am here—get to your point already Fawn lol).<ee> <es>I spent a lot of time working on adapting to the way society expects me to be so I can hold a job and keep my life somewhat together.<ee> <es>I slept well before the test, I ate breakfast, I meditated.<ee> <efs>I did *all the things* to make sure I was clear headed and I regret it.<efe> <efs>I shouldn’t have been at my best. <efe> <efs>So now I feel disregarded, I told her I don’t believe these results.<efe> <rs>I came here for validation, not even interested in ADHD medication.<re> <es>I mean, she didn’t even ask about my family history of mental health, I told her right before the test began bc I felt that might be an important indicator?<ee> <rs>Has anyone taken this test and not given the right diagnosis in here?<re> <efs>I’m struggling with feeling deflated.<efe> <es>Look, I don’t want ADHD, but I have it, it effects my relationships and me on a daily basis.<ee> <rs>And please don’t reply with “maybe you don’t have ADHD”, because I really am just looking for support. <re> <es>I’m in Illinois currently, planning to relocate to Oregon where I’ll try again in a year. <ee> THANKS FRIENDS
| 2 | 2 | 2 | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 222 |
emtab6
|
I feel like there is someone controlling me
|
1a
|
rant
| 1 |
So, it'll be a little bit long, but I need this to make you understand.
I have another personnality or maybe even 2 others. I feel like there is one that control me. I'll explain personnalities.
Current me: Have emotions, Anxiety, Social Anxiety, Paranoia, No empathy.
Other "me": May be psychopath, emotionless, still no empathy (obviously), urge to kill somebody, only thinks about himself and not others.
And sometimes, I feel like this other me and still, not as much as current, feel controlled.
And I can have conversations, arguments... with this other me. And when I talk my psychologist about this, I feel bad about it, like I don't like is mind, but I don't know. Like I feel bad, but everytime I think this, I do not agree. That's why I think he control me.
I'm sorry it's not very easy to understand, but I think he don't want me to say something about this.
|
k3l9sw5r7
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
2020-01-10 16:27:32
|
mentalillness
|
So, it'll be a little bit long, but I need this to make you understand. <es>I have another personnality or maybe even 2 others.<ee> <es>I feel like there is one that control me.<ee> I'll explain personnalities. <es>Current me: Have emotions, Anxiety, Social Anxiety, Paranoia, No empathy.<ee> <es>Other "me": May be psychopath, emotionless, still no empathy (obviously), urge to kill somebody, only thinks about himself and not others.<ee> <efs>And sometimes, I feel like this other me and still, not as much as current, feel controlled.<efe> <rs>And I can have conversations, arguments... with this other me.<re> <efs>And when I talk my psychologist about this, I feel bad about it, like I don't like is mind, but I don't know.<efe> <efs>Like I feel bad, but everytime I think this, I do not agree.<efe> That's why I think he control me. I'm sorry it's not very easy to understand, but I think he don't want me to say something about this.
| 2 | 2 | 0 | null | null | null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you feel your other personality is controlling you
| null | true | 220 |
ekvmrk
|
Need advice on anger management
|
1b
|
help-seeking
| 2 |
So here is the story, I was bullied when I was a kid. ridiculed, and made fun of as I got older. I had random strangers tell me stuff like "you will never be anything in life" or "bet you will get fired from this job"
im talking about complete strangers who approached me. no I am not lying! This straight up happened, I would have random strangers just say that to me when I was a teen. Well, fast forward years ahead and here I am, successful, beautiful wife; I also lift and a bodybuilder (230lbs)
To sum it all up, I think the past is daunting me. It is not leaving me and I still remember the words and the sh\*t people said. I even had my mothers EX bfs tell her how stupid I was. that I am a retard. A loser. I have stories for days as well, this is only 5% of the things that happened.
I cant stand "bully" type behavior. and to me, tailgating, no consideration for others is a trigger for me. just the other day I was making gestures at this lady then flicked her off because she was tailgating me throughout the road. she retaliated and brake checked me and tried to get me to crash into her. clearly if I would have just kept to myself non of this would have happened. there are a few times I told people to get off the car and what is the problem. nothing escalated probably due to my size. but I hate it! How is it people are not bothered by this behavior. what can I do? what do YOU do? I dont want this to be a trigger no more but I just dont know how to deal with it. One day, someone can come out with a gun and just shoot.
Its not just cars. Its out in public, the gym, the store. I want to just fight anyone I see "trying" to be all tough or stare. I used to fight alot in a MMA class I took growing up. but maybe I am thinking of doing it again as it maybe can help? I feel like this is a curse I cant get away from and clearly this is something to do with my past because it is not the innocent people, not the ones driving normal and considerate, or the old man driving 40mph on the left lane. that does not upset me. Its the inconsiderate behavior that triggers me.
|
ridewithwill
| 1 | 0 | 7 |
2020-01-06 15:33:08
|
Anger
|
<es>So here is the story, I was bullied when I was a kid. ridiculed, and made fun of as I got older.<ee> <es>I had random strangers tell me stuff like "you will never be anything in life" or "bet you will get fired from this job"<ee> im talking about complete strangers who approached me. no I am not lying! This straight up happened, I would have random strangers just say that to me when I was a teen. Well, fast forward years ahead and here I am, successful, beautiful wife; I also lift and a bodybuilder (230lbs) <es>To sum it all up, I think the past is daunting me. It is not leaving me and I still remember the words and the sh\*t people said.<ee> <es>I even had my mothers EX bfs tell her how stupid I was.<ee> <es>that I am a retard.<ee> A loser. I have stories for days as well, this is only 5% of the things that happened. <es>I cant stand "bully" type behavior. and to me, tailgating, no consideration for others is a trigger for me.<ee> <es>just the other day I was making gestures at this lady then flicked her off because she was tailgating me throughout the road.<ee> <es>she retaliated and brake checked me and tried to get me to crash into her.<ee> clearly if I would have just kept to myself non of this would have happened. <es>there are a few times I told people to get off the car and what is the problem.<ee> nothing escalated probably due to my size. <efs>but I hate it!<efe> How is it people are not bothered by this behavior. <rs>what can I do?<re> <rs>what do YOU do?<re> <rs>I dont want this to be a trigger no more but I just dont know how to deal with it.<re> One day, someone can come out with a gun and just shoot. Its not just cars. Its out in public, the gym, the store. <es>I want to just fight anyone I see "trying" to be all tough or stare.<ee> <es>I used to fight alot in a MMA class I took growing up. but maybe I am thinking of doing it again as it maybe can help?<ee> <efs>I feel like this is a curse I cant get away from and clearly this is something to do with my past because it is not the innocent people, not the ones driving normal and considerate, or the old man driving 40mph on the left lane.<efe> that does not upset me. <es>Its the inconsiderate behavior that triggers me.<ee>
| 2 | 1 | 2 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
how you feel it is a curse
| null | null | null | true | 212 |
eif2zp
|
My job is making me upset
|
1a
|
rant
| 1 |
My job is a basic job nothing special but I've already had bad blood with a manager. I'm being compared constantly with someone I'm close to (in terms of worth ethic), co-workers are starting to talk about me behind my back and customers have already complained about me in terms of job performance. I've not even worked that long and it's starting to make me feel real shitty about myself.
Like I hate myself and I'm getting sick at the thought of me having to go in tomorrow. I know I shouldn't worry about what others say but that's easier said then done. It really is.
I just feel like a worthless piece of shit . _ . I don't know how long I can keep doing this honestly. I don't even need the money I just wanted money.
I feel so awful I can't even do a simple job well enough...
|
quckcro
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
2020-01-01 06:23:23
|
sad
|
<es>My job is a basic job nothing special but I've already had bad blood with a manager.<ee> <es>I'm being compared constantly with someone I'm close to (in terms of worth ethic), co-workers are starting to talk about me behind my back and customers have already complained about me in terms of job performance.<ee> <efs>I've not even worked that long and it's starting to make me feel real shitty about myself. <efe> <efs>Like I hate myself and I'm getting sick at the thought of me having to go in tomorrow.<efe> I know I shouldn't worry about what others say but that's easier said then done. It really is. <efe>I just feel like a worthless piece of shit .<efe> _ . I don't know how long I can keep doing this honestly. <rs>I don't even need the money I just wanted money. <re> <efs>I feel so awful I can't even do a simple job well enough...<efe>
| 2 | 2 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you are unable to properly do your job
| null | true | 220 |
ek7ft5
|
A manIc epIsode turned art pIece
|
0
|
rant
| 1 | null |
the0nlyblack
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
2020-01-05 03:36:48
|
mentalillness
|
A manIc epIsode turned art pIece nan
| 0 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
random,title
| true | 0 |
ej1ulw
|
An extreme emotional reaction, but the pain wont stop.
|
1b
|
rant
| 2 |
I'm posting here because I know my emotional response to this situation was extreme due to my BPD and I'm just looking for some support.
I'm 26 weeks pregnant and my sex life with my partner has been almost non existent, and not because of me. I ask every night but most nights he is too tired because we both work a lot. He often plays video games until bed and then passes out. Which I am understanding of because it's the way he unwinds. Last night was the first time we had sex in over 2 weeks and it took me a lot of effort to get him to finish.
Today we laid down for a nap before our evening shifts. I asked if he wanted sex before we laid down and we both kind of laughed because we had sex yesterday and that would be extremely rare. He didn't even answer, just kind of took it as a joke. So he pulled out his mobile game as I fell asleep. I woke up, still in his arms, to him watching porn and masturbating. I immediately lost control of my emotions. I started bawling, asking why I wasn't enough for him, asking him what I needed to do differently. I was right here! He could have woken me up if he wanted sex, but he didn't, he chose the prettier naked girls over me. So I am absolutely heart broken and just feel like he isn't at all attracted to me.
To make things worse, when he gets overstimulated emotionally, he bursts out in anger. So in the middle of me bawling he asked me what I wanted to hear from him. I told him "The truth. That you don't find me sexually attractive. That I am not enough." And his response was to shout that he fucking hates me.
He apologized for everything and feels awful. I know he loves me and I know he would never cheat on me, but my anxiety and abandonment issues are on high alert. I still feel like it's hard to breath. Like it's hard to exist. This disease is so rough sometimes. Something as seemingly small as this makes me wish I wasn't here. There's just so much emotion and so much pain, and nowhere to put it all. I feel unwanted and broken.
|
ReadyToBeMom
| 6 | 0 | 10 |
2020-01-02 18:16:38
|
BPD
|
<rs>I'm posting here because I know my emotional response to this situation was extreme due to my BPD and I'm just looking for some support. <re> <es>I'm 26 weeks pregnant and my sex life with my partner has been almost non existent, and not because of me.<ee> <es>I ask every night but most nights he is too tired because we both work a lot.<ee> <es>He often plays video games until bed and then passes out.<ee> <es>Which I am understanding of because it's the way he unwinds.<ee> <es>Last night was the first time we had sex in over 2 weeks and it took me a lot of effort to get him to finish. <ee> <es>Today we laid down for a nap before our evening shifts.<ee> <es>I asked if he wanted sex before we laid down and we both kind of laughed because we had sex yesterday and that would be extremely rare.<ee> <es>He didn't even answer, just kind of took it as a joke.<ee> <es>So he pulled out his mobile game as I fell asleep.<ee> <es>I woke up, still in his arms, to him watching porn and masturbating.<ee> <efs>I immediately lost control of my emotions.<efe> <es>I started bawling, asking why I wasn't enough for him, asking him what I needed to do differently.<ee> <es>I was right here! He could have woken me up if he wanted sex, but he didn't, he chose the prettier naked girls over me.<ee> <efs>So I am absolutely heart broken and just feel like he isn't at all attracted to me. <efe> <es>To make things worse, when he gets overstimulated emotionally, he bursts out in anger.<ee> <es>So in the middle of me bawling he asked me what I wanted to hear from him. I told him "The truth. That you don't find me sexually attractive. That I am not enough."<ee> <es>And his response was to shout that he fucking hates me. <ee> <es>He apologized for everything and feels awful.<ee> <es>I know he loves me and I know he would never cheat on me, but my anxiety and abandonment issues are on high alert. I still feel like it's hard to breath.<ee> <efs>Like it's hard to exist.<efe> <es>This disease is so rough sometimes.<ee> <efs>Something as seemingly small as this makes me wish I wasn't here.<efe> <efs>There's just so much emotion and so much pain, and nowhere to put it all.<efe> <efs>I feel unwanted and broken.<efe>
| 2 | 2 | 0 | null | null | null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you feel hurt by your boyfriend's actions
| null | true | 220 |
exy3lz
|
Tired all the time. Is it just depression?
|
0
|
help-seeking
| 2 |
I have always been depressed. This isn't an "I'm having a bad time" kind of thing. Some times are worse than others but it's always been there.
I am functional. I take active steps to manage it and get along in life. I'm not perfect, but I generally try to:
* eat well
* exercise regularly
* have a regular sleep routine
* take antidepressants that I'm reminded to take with an alarm on my phone
* keep some kind of morning and night routines to keep stress levels down
But I am *tired all the time.* Seriously, I had a day off work today. I slept until 7am, took 2 naps, and at 7pm I'm ready to go to bed. Sometimes I feel like I'm in danger of falling asleep at the wheel on my drives home at night.
I get my blood checked regularly because of another medical issue. I take Vitamin D and Magnesium as recommended, but am otherwise good. I don't snore or anything at night, so I can't imagine it's sleep apnea (either way I did a home sleep study once and I could not sleep at all with that thing on my face).
The only thing I can think of is depression. I don't really get a lot of the emotional highs and boosts other people get, so maybe there's just nothing refilling my tank like other people get? I don't know.
Any ideas?
|
randomcthrowway
| 1 | 0 | 6 |
2020-02-03 00:16:57
|
getting_over_it
|
<es>I have always been depressed.<ee> <es>This isn't an "I'm having a bad time" kind of thing.<ee> <es>Some times are worse than others but it's always been there.<ee> <es>I am functional.<ee> <es>I take active steps to manage it and get along in life.<ee> <es>I'm not perfect, but I generally try to: * eat well * exercise regularly * have a regular sleep routine * take antidepressants that I'm reminded to take with an alarm on my phone * keep some kind of morning and night routines to keep stress levels down<ee> <efs>But I am *tired all the time.*<efe> <es>Seriously, I had a day off work today.<ee> <es>I slept until 7am, took 2 naps, and at 7pm I'm ready to go to bed.<ee> <efs>Sometimes I feel like I'm in danger of falling asleep at the wheel on my drives home at night.<efe> <es>I get my blood checked regularly because of another medical issue.<ee> <es>I take Vitamin D and Magnesium as recommended, but am otherwise good.<ee> <es>I don't snore or anything at night, so I can't imagine it's sleep apnea (either way I did a home sleep study once and I could not sleep at all with that thing on my face).<ee> <es>The only thing I can think of is depression.<ee> <es>I don't really get a lot of the emotional highs and boosts other people get, so maybe there's just nothing refilling my tank like other people get?<ee> I don't know. <rs>Any ideas?<re>
| 2 | 2 | 1 | null | null | null | null |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
what would help you be more active
| null | true | 221 |
esjfdn
|
seeing my rapist after two years
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 1 |
on a throwaway account because people know of my regular account.
i’m attending a music festival that is in a few months and my rapist is on the lineup. i will NOT name drop because it is someone who works with popular artists and i do not want my story to come out simply because i am not ready to share it due to the trauma i still have. i honestly did not expect for them to be performing at it. i don’t even want to go anymore, but i have planned to go with a group of people and it will look suspicious if i back out suddenly. i don’t know what to do. my heart dropped and i am panicking. i have so much ptsd and fear from my assault and i feel like i can’t talk to anyone about it.
please no one try to get a name out of me. it will not happen and i ask for respect in this situation. i’m panicking and just thought i needed to post here.
|
throwaway19661999
| 1 | 0 | 3 |
2020-01-22 22:31:05
|
rapecounseling
|
on a throwaway account because people know of my regular account. <es>i’m attending a music festival that is in a few months and my rapist is on the lineup.<ee> <es>i will NOT name drop because it is someone who works with popular artists and i do not want my story to come out simply because i am not ready to share it due to the trauma i still have.<ee> <es>i honestly did not expect for them to be performing at it.<ee> <es>i don’t even want to go anymore, but i have planned to go with a group of people and it will look suspicious if i back out suddenly.<ee> <es>i don’t know what to do.<ee> <efs>my heart dropped and i am panicking.<efe> <efs>i have so much ptsd and fear from my assault and i feel like i can’t talk to anyone about it. <efe> please no one try to get a name out of me. it will not happen and i ask for respect in this situation. <efs>i’m panicking and just thought i needed to post here.<efe>
| 2 | 2 | 0 | null | null | null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you are panicking about attending the festival
| null | true | 220 |
eirxce
|
Guilt for things people forgave me for
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 1 |
I'm pretty dim so everything below will be poorly written and make no sense, sorry in advance for the trash below.
&#x200B;
Recently I decided to try and make a amends with people who I wasn't very nice to at a point in time, when I apologized to them not only did they forgive me but they said they "couldn't remember" me being mean. I felt pretty good about this until a few weeks later, then guilt all returned and I truly felt awful about things again. I then sent someone else a massive apology and sorta asked if anyone hated me etc. They told me no one hates me and I just need to chill.
&#x200B;
This isn't enough for me, but I don't even really know what I did that was really bad, of course I've done some shit things but nothing that is worth feeling shit for years over (I can't explain without digging myself into a hole, but like you forgive the person who shop lifted but not the murderer maybe, I'm like the former I think). yet I feel so much guilt. This a symptom of anxiety? is it possible I have forgotten? Am I just over reacting again? Is my ego just this massive? I am so confused and it is weighing on me. I feel like a narcissistic loser rn. Anyone got any advice? thanks for reading.
|
Extreme_apathy_late
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
2020-01-02 02:33:30
|
Anxiety
|
I'm pretty dim so everything below will be poorly written and make no sense, sorry in advance for the trash below. &#x200B; <es>Recently I decided to try and make a amends with people who I wasn't very nice to at a point in time, when I apologized to them not only did they forgive me but they said they "couldn't remember" me being mean.<ee> <efs>I felt pretty good about this until a few weeks later, then guilt all returned and I truly felt awful about things again.<efe> <es>I then sent someone else a massive apology and sorta asked if anyone hated me etc.<ee> <es>They told me no one hates me and I just need to chill.<ee> &#x200B; <es>This isn't enough for me, but I don't even really know what I did that was really bad, of course I've done some shit things but nothing that is worth feeling shit for years over (I can't explain without digging myself into a hole, but like you forgive the person who shop lifted but not the murderer maybe, I'm like the former I think).<ee> <efs>yet I feel so much guilt.<efe> <rs>This a symptom of anxiety?<re> <rs>is it possible I have forgotten?<re> <rs>Am I just over reacting again?<re> <rs>Is my ego just this massive?<re> <efs>I am so confused and it is weighing on me.<efe> <efs>I feel like a narcissistic loser rn.<efe> <rs>Anyone got any advice?<re> thanks for reading.
| 2 | 2 | 2 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 222 |
eic66j
|
One of the worst days of the year
|
1a
|
rant
| 1 |
I post/comment on here sometimes on a different account. I find this to be a very supportive community, and people often post accounts of experiences that I thought only I went through.
New Years Eve/Day is one of the worst days of the year for me. It's just one big reminder that another year has passed, and I still haven't achieved anything or changed any of my behaviours. It really gets me down every year, and it doesn't help that I spend every New Years drinking alone. I'm only 21 but I don't feel like I can keep on much longer.
Can anyone else relate? Sorry if this is lame/seen as attention seeking. Maybe it is. I'm just drunk and sad and alone and hopeless.
|
throwaway_sad_2020
| 1 | 0 | 20 |
2020-01-01 01:37:34
|
ADHD
|
I post/comment on here sometimes on a different account. I find this to be a very supportive community, and people often post accounts of experiences that I thought only I went through. <es>New Years Eve/Day is one of the worst days of the year for me.<ee> <es>It's just one big reminder that another year has passed, and I still haven't achieved anything or changed any of my behaviours.<ee> <es>It really gets me down every year, and it doesn't help that I spend every New Years drinking alone.<ee> <efs>I'm only 21 but I don't feel like I can keep on much longer.<efe> <rs>Can anyone else relate?<re> <rs>Sorry if this is lame/seen as attention seeking.<re> <rs>Maybe it is.<re> <efs>I'm just drunk and sad and alone and hopeless.<efe>
| 2 | 2 | 1 | null | null | null | null |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
what would help you not feel sad and alone
| null | true | 221 |
eioq9k
|
Just exhausted
|
0
|
help-seeking
| 1 |
Uuughhh ..... I am so exhausted !!!
Every time I meet someone new I tend to fall so fast for the person. Just recently I shared about my illness with a new person I met and they seemed to have taken a step back. To be honest I don't know if they really have taken a step back or is it me overthinking just because I'm feeling abandoned. I don't know. So hard to constantly keep myself distracted and try to think I am worthy of love when the reality is so different. Wish I could turn this emotional switch off.
What do you do when you feel like you are overthinking or starting to feel abandoned ? I could really use some tips.
A joyous and emotionally balanced new year to everyone. C= 💙
|
searching_4_seroton9
| 1 | 0 | 3 |
2020-01-01 22:18:22
|
BPD
|
<efs>Uuughhh ..... I am so exhausted !!!<efe> <es>Every time I meet someone new I tend to fall so fast for the person.<ee> <es>Just recently I shared about my illness with a new person I met and they seemed to have taken a step back.<ee> <efs>To be honest I don't know if they really have taken a step back or is it me overthinking just because I'm feeling abandoned.<efe> <es>I don't know.<ee> <es>So hard to constantly keep myself distracted and try to think I am worthy of love when the reality is so different.<ee> <rs>Wish I could turn this emotional switch off. <re> <rs>What do you do when you feel like you are overthinking or starting to feel abandoned ?<re> <rs>I could really use some tips. <re> A joyous and emotionally balanced new year to everyone. C= 💙
| 2 | 1 | 2 | null | null |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
how the person taking a step back make you feel
| null | null | null | true | 212 |
ek8xji
|
I. Fucking. Hate. This.
|
1a
|
rant
| 1 |
I want to smoke, all the God damned time. Anything that could potentially get me high I want to gobble up, stab in my veins, snort to oblivion, smoke, drain, anything. Just anything.
The only thing I've taken is Tylenol for the headache I gave myself hitting my head out of frustration.
Water. Water. Water. Sugar. Water. Sugar. Water.
|
DysthymicPrincess
| 7 | 0 | 19 |
2020-01-05 05:50:53
|
addiction
|
<es>I want to smoke, all the God damned time.<ee> <es>Anything that could potentially get me high I want to gobble up, stab in my veins, snort to oblivion, smoke, drain, anything.<ee> Just anything. <es>The only thing I've taken is Tylenol for the headache I gave myself hitting my head out of frustration.<ee> Water. Water. Water. Sugar. Water. Sugar. Water.
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
why you hit your head
|
How did X make you feel?
|
smoking
|
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you are constantly having the urge to smoke
| null | true | 100 |
eidzrz
|
I broke down on NYE overwhelmed that it’s been a year and I still didn’t get my shit together but I still made it to 2020
|
0
|
chitchat
| 1 |
I learned that It’s okay to grieve for everything and everyone we can no longer bring to us from 2019 to 2020. All the FPs who never replied to my paragraphs, all the friends who didn’t remember me. My heart goes out to all of you overwhelmed by the idea of new beginnings and all our unfinished selves. The great thing is, we survived 2019. We’re getting there. Thank you, for being so gentle with youself.
And if this year can’t be kinder to us, can we all be kinder to ourselves instead?
Happy new year, everyone. If no one told you today, I fucking love you. So much. So much that it almost hurts.
|
mrsjoba
| 1 | 0 | 1 |
2020-01-01 04:35:27
|
BPD
|
I learned that It’s okay to grieve for everything and everyone we can no longer bring to us from 2019 to 2020. All the FPs who never replied to my paragraphs, all the friends who didn’t remember me. My heart goes out to all of you overwhelmed by the idea of new beginnings and all our unfinished selves. The great thing is, we survived 2019. We’re getting there. Thank you, for being so gentle with youself. And if this year can’t be kinder to us, can we all be kinder to ourselves instead? Happy new year, everyone. If no one told you today, I fucking love you. So much. So much that it almost hurts.
| 0 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
positive
| true | 0 |
eimfzz
|
Suicidal on Lexapro?
|
0
|
survey
| 1 |
Hi everyone,
I've been taking Lexapro after my gp gave me a 5mg a day prescription. I was diagnosed by my therapist a few days earlier and was suicidal. I'm waiting on a scheduled meeting with a psych to review the medication but it's not due till March.
I have very often been feeling suicidal since I started using the drug, more so than before possibly?
What is other people's experience?
Thank you.
|
weehare
| 1 | 0 | 1 |
2020-01-01 19:26:33
|
BPD
|
Hi everyone, <es>I've been taking Lexapro after my gp gave me a 5mg a day prescription.<ee> <es>I was diagnosed by my therapist a few days earlier and was suicidal.<ee> <es>I'm waiting on a scheduled meeting with a psych to review the medication but it's not due till March.<ee> <efs>I have very often been feeling suicidal since I started using the drug, more so than before possibly?<efe> <rs>What is other people's experience?<re> Thank you.
| 2 | 2 | 2 | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 222 |
ej4nfj
|
I commited social suicide
|
1a
|
rant
| 1 |
Hey
Half a year ago, the gave me Sertraline 150 for depression, my mood swing worsened by a lot.
Made a few public posts about how I was gonna kill myself. One with pics on it.
Now I am more "rational" person, and got no friends because of it.
I feel like dying :(
|
CapelaBranca
| 1 | 0 | 68 |
2020-01-02 21:31:14
|
BPD
|
Hey <es>Half a year ago, the gave me Sertraline 150 for depression, my mood swing worsened by a lot.<ee> <es>Made a few public posts about how I was gonna kill myself.<ee> <es>One with pics on it.<ee> <es>Now I am more "rational" person, and got no friends because of it.<ee> <efs>I feel like dying :(<efe>
| 1 | 1 | 0 |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
your depression
|
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
how did taking Sertraline make you feel
|
What do you need help with now that X?
|
your mood swings have worsened
| null | true | 110 |
eiu7hh
|
DRIVING WITH ANXIETY
|
1a
|
survey
| 1 |
Driving with anxiety is the worth thing in the world. Every single time I step into a car I get so nervous and every little thing just gets me so paranoid it’s not even funny. Anxiety makes me not want to drive.Like I can just be trying to make a turn and the cars behind me waiting for me to make the turn makes me so uncomfortable because I know they are waiting for me. I hate what other drivers think of me. Even when I try to switch lanes I get scared. Does anyone else feel this way when they drive?
|
jjcoolie
| 1 | 0 | 4 |
2020-01-02 05:51:59
|
Anxiety
|
<es>Driving with anxiety is the worth thing in the world.<ee> <es>Every single time I step into a car I get so nervous and every little thing just gets me so paranoid it’s not even funny.<ee> <efs>Anxiety makes me not want to drive.<efe><efs>Like I can just be trying to make a turn and the cars behind me waiting for me to make the turn makes me so uncomfortable because I know they are waiting for me.<efe> <efs>I hate what other drivers think of me.<efe> <efs>Even when I try to switch lanes I get scared.<efe> <rs>Does anyone else feel this way when they drive?<re>
| 2 | 2 | 2 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 222 |
fj0429
|
It finally happened
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 1 |
Last night I texted her, all night. She didnt even opened my chat. May be, deleted it as soon as she saw it. I guess, that's the utmost limit of moving on. It never happened before.
Hi, I'm one of those dimwits who dared to love someone truly and completely. Picturing world without her haunts me at nights. We had promised to live together, forever. Spent countless days and nights talking to each other.
I just can't get over her. I don't have anyone to share my story with. I think, I have become emotionally unstable. How do I get over someone? I keep thinking about her, everywhere I go, I see her. She had an opinion about everything in my life. I just can't ignore all of this stuff.
Don't suggest me a psychiatrist, I read that this place is for positive vibes only. I need to know, what do I do...
|
daybeii
| 1 | 0 | 4 |
2020-03-15 11:41:58
|
getting_over_it
|
<es>Last night I texted her, all night.<ee> <es>She didnt even opened my chat.<ee> <es>May be, deleted it as soon as she saw it.<ee> <es>I guess, that's the utmost limit of moving on.<ee> <es>It never happened before.<ee> <es>Hi, I'm one of those dimwits who dared to love someone truly and completely.<ee> <efs>Picturing world without her haunts me at nights.<efe> <es>We had promised to live together, forever.<ee> <es>Spent countless days and nights talking to each other. <ee> <es>I just can't get over her.<ee> <es>I don't have anyone to share my story with.<ee> <efs>I think, I have become emotionally unstable.<efe> <rs>How do I get over someone?<re> <es>I keep thinking about her, everywhere I go, I see her.<ee> <es>She had an opinion about everything in my life.<ee> <es>I just can't ignore all of this stuff. <ee> <rs>Don't suggest me a psychiatrist, I read that this place is for positive vibes only.<re> I need to know, what do I do...
| 2 | 1 | 2 | null | null |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
how you feel about her not replying back
| null | null | null | true | 212 |
eofes0
|
Sertraline Withdrawl
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 1 |
Hey everyone,
So I recently tapered my sertraline all the way down to zero. At my peak usage i was at about 125/day and i was at that rate for about 6 months before i started the taper. When i started to taper; doctor recommended to go down to 100, stay at that for 2 weeks, then 50 every day for two weeks.
i have been at 0 now, not taking anything for about 10 days and for the past 10 days i have been feeling super odd. i have a weird tingle in my left side, (cheek, arm, hand, sometimes foot). i have extreme food intakes; i binge and love food then i fast and feel nauseous at the idea of food.. trouble sleeping, lack of energy..
just wanted to know if this was normal, and if so how long these "withdrawl" symptoms last. this was my first experience with any type of perscription so im not familiar with these feelings.
thanks alot for reading my ramble
|
balldiamond
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
2020-01-14 03:18:14
|
mentalillness
|
Hey everyone, <es>So I recently tapered my sertraline all the way down to zero.<ee> At my peak usage i was at about 125/day and i was at that rate for about 6 months before i started the taper. <es>When i started to taper; doctor recommended to go down to 100, stay at that for 2 weeks, then 50 every day for two weeks. <ee> <efs>i have been at 0 now, not taking anything for about 10 days and for the past 10 days i have been feeling super odd.<efe> <efs>i have a weird tingle in my left side, (cheek, arm, hand, sometimes foot).<efe> <efs>i have extreme food intakes; i binge and love food then i fast and feel nauseous at the idea of food.. trouble sleeping, lack of energy..<efe> <rs>just wanted to know if this was normal, and if so how long these "withdrawl" symptoms last. <re>this was my first experience with any type of perscription so im not familiar with these feelings. thanks alot for reading my ramble
| 2 | 2 | 2 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 222 |
el00zt
|
Gabapentin hindering my recovery?
|
0
|
help-seeking
| 1 |
I am off suboxone for 11 days now and have been using gabapentin 300mg 3x a day that I was prescribed for back surgery. It really helps with the back pain and is a god send for the w.ds. I just want to know are there people who are on gabapentin for the long run after they came off opiates and did it hinder their recovery process in anyway? I still feel very lazy and lethargic. I dont believe it's the gabapentin because I'm still in a very early stage of w.ds. Any feedback would be good, please and thank you.
|
idontlikeposting03
| 1 | 0 | 22 |
2020-01-06 20:45:52
|
OpiatesRecovery
|
<es>I am off suboxone for 11 days now and have been using gabapentin 300mg 3x a day that I was prescribed for back surgery.<ee> <es>It really helps with the back pain and is a god send for the w.ds.<ee> <rs>I just want to know are there people who are on gabapentin for the long run after they came off opiates and did it hinder their recovery process in anyway?<re> <efs>I still feel very lazy and lethargic.<efe> <es>I dont believe it's the gabapentin because I'm still in a very early stage of w.ds.<ee> <rs>Any feedback would be good, please and thank you.<re>
| 2 | 2 | 2 | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 222 |
f7d6ln
|
I fucking cleaned my whole apartment
|
0
|
chitchat
| 1 |
Well not totally but my roomba is taking care of the floor, and when it will be done the place will be clean.
It feels great to get things done.
|
hidden_sirt
| 1 | 0 | 8 |
2020-02-21 16:03:30
|
getting_over_it
|
Well not totally but my roomba is taking care of the floor, and when it will be done the place will be clean. It feels great to get things done.
| 0 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
random
| true | 0 |
eiyw4r
|
How can everything in my life be going terribly wrong
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 1 |
I’ve been seeking advice and when I get some I take it whole heartedly. But it never ends up helping me, at this point I just want to lock myself away and never go back into society again, I try to open up but no one seems to really understand me.
I probably need therapy but that’s a long shot in my situation at the moment.
I just want life to stop being a bitch....
|
ThunderandHail
| 1 | 0 | 13 |
2020-01-02 14:30:05
|
sad
|
<es>I’ve been seeking advice and when I get some I take it whole heartedly.<ee> <rs>But it never ends up helping me, at this point I just want to lock myself away and never go back into society again.<re> <es>I try to open up but no one seems to really understand me.<ee> I probably need therapy but that’s a long shot in my situation at the moment. <rs>I just want life to stop being a bitch....<re>
| 1 | 0 | 2 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null |
Why are you wanting X ?
|
to lock yourself up
| null | null | null | true | 102 |
es71yj
|
I need advice
|
1b
|
help-seeking
| 1 |
Long story short, I (21F) was in a very abusive long term relationship throughout high school into my first two years of college. It was everything, sexually, physically, and verbally. I’ve been out of that relationship for over a year and a half now and I have received medical help for my trauma. But the ex (19M) will not let me go to this day. He refuses to believe that we will never have a chance together. He still thinks that I am his soulmate, all that stuff. Yet he also blames me for everything that went wrong in his life after we broke up. After we broke up, both him and I dropped out of college and I went back and built myself a new life with an amazingly sweet guy. Meanwhile, he joined the army and has had several failed relationship. I know that I am not to blame, but yet there remains that little voice telling me that I am. I don’t know what to do anymore. I can change my number and he’ll still call me on restricted numbers. I don’t know what to do anymore. Any advice would help.
|
user7784
| 1 | 0 | 2 |
2020-01-22 04:49:47
|
domesticviolence
|
<es>Long story short, I (21F) was in a very abusive long term relationship throughout high school into my first two years of college.<ee> <es>It was everything, sexually, physically, and verbally.<ee> <es>I’ve been out of that relationship for over a year and a half now and I have received medical help for my trauma.<ee> <es>But the ex (19M) will not let me go to this day.<ee> <es>He refuses to believe that we will never have a chance together.<ee> <es>He still thinks that I am his soulmate, all that stuff.<ee> <es>Yet he also blames me for everything that went wrong in his life after we broke up.<ee> <es>After we broke up, both him and I dropped out of college and I went back and built myself a new life with an amazingly sweet guy.<ee> <es>Meanwhile, he joined the army and has had several failed relationship.<ee> <efs>I know that I am not to blame, but yet there remains that little voice telling me that I am.<efe> <es>I don’t know what to do anymore.<ee> <es>I can change my number and he’ll still call me on restricted numbers.<ee> <es>I don’t know what to do anymore.<ee> <rs>Any advice would help.<re>
| 2 | 1 | 1 | null | null |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
how you felt about the relationship
|
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
what would help restrain your ex
| null | true | 211 |
eij0wr
|
to anyone who already slipped up on their new years resolution or relapsed...
|
1a
|
chitchat
| 1 |
YOU ARE LOVED AND SUPPORTED! ITS OKAY TO MESS UP!
recovery is full of slips! try and treat each day as it’s own. even if you relapse every day for a week, a clean day is progress!!
it may be a long road ahead, but we gotta keep trying
|
daddysgirl0518
| 1 | 0 | 6 |
2020-01-01 14:46:02
|
selfharm
|
YOU ARE LOVED AND SUPPORTED! ITS OKAY TO MESS UP! recovery is full of slips! try and treat each day as it’s own. even if you relapse every day for a week, a clean day is progress!! it may be a long road ahead, but we gotta keep trying
| 0 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
positive
| true | 0 |
eojizn
|
Holding it together for 1 more week
|
1a
|
rant
| 1 |
One more week in until I get my first therapy appointment. My alcoholic, coke head roommate has been on a 3 day bender and I haven’t slept because she is scream and yelling and partying on a Monday night. I can’t take this anymore. My work cut me back to part time and I can’t afford to move. I have $80 to my name and half a tank of gas and nowhere to go. It takes a lot of focus and really forcing what self control I have to not do something to hurt someone.
|
flyingwristlock
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
2020-01-14 10:24:27
|
selfhelp
|
<es>One more week in until I get my first therapy appointment.<ee> <es>My alcoholic, coke head roommate has been on a 3 day bender and I haven’t slept because she is scream and yelling and partying on a Monday night.<ee> <es>I can’t take this anymore.<ee> <es>My work cut me back to part time and I can’t afford to move.<ee> <es>I have $80 to my name and half a tank of gas and nowhere to go.<ee> <es>It takes a lot of focus and really forcing what self control I have to not do something to hurt someone.<ee>
| 2 | 0 | 0 | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 200 |
fgp6r9
|
Everybody’s rooting for you except for you
|
0
|
chitchat
| 1 |
What kind of team doesn’t root for itself?
|
ACaulfield910
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
2020-03-11 01:34:34
|
getting_over_it
|
What kind of team doesn’t root for itself?
| 0 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
random
| true | 0 |
eiauu2
|
PLEASE help me out
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 1 |
im a guy (16) in a class full of girls.. i really wanna make friends.. but i have a raised mole above my lip
i know they dont care about that, but it fucks up my confidence and i cry everyday about it, MAYBE thats why i never got a kiss or a girlfriend?
i am too shy to ask my parents, BUT I AM SURE even if i ask them to get me to the doctor to remove my mole, they would say no
im way too shy to ask about removing it
i would sweat my ass off
|
Anonymous_Reddit457
| 1 | 0 | 4 |
2019-12-31 23:48:25
|
depression
|
<es><rs>im a guy (16) in a class full of girls.. i really wanna make friends.. but i have a raised mole above my lip<re><ee> <efs>i know they dont care about that, but it fucks up my confidence and i cry everyday about it, MAYBE thats why i never got a kiss or a girlfriend?<efe> <es>i am too shy to ask my parents, BUT I AM SURE even if i ask them to get me to the doctor to remove my mole, they would say no<ee> <efs>im way too shy to ask about removing it<efe> i would sweat my ass off
| 2 | 2 | 1 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
what would help you overcome your shyness
| null | true | 221 |
faqhz5
|
How do you stop ruminating?
|
0
|
help-seeking
| 1 |
I know the standard answer is just to do something else but no matter what I do, I really struggle to stop dwelling on the past and freaking out about the future. Is it just a matter of getting over a bad habit and should I just keep trying? Or does anyone have any other tips that might help me stop living in my head.
|
alans823475
| 1 | 0 | 9 |
2020-02-28 06:30:46
|
getting_over_it
|
<es>I know the standard answer is just to do something else but no matter what I do, I really struggle to stop dwelling on the past and freaking out about the future.<ee> <rs>Is it just a matter of getting over a bad habit and should I just keep trying?<re> <rs>Or does anyone have any other tips that might help me stop living in my head.<re>
| 2 | 0 | 2 | null | null |
How did X make you feel?
|
thinking about your past and future
| null | null | null | true | 202 |
eibjhi
|
My dad got me bottle of Irish cream yesterday. I just downed a bunch.
|
1b
|
rant
| 1 |
I felt miserable and still do so I thought, hey, why not do what my dad always does and drown my sorrows with alcohol? He got me a bottle of Irish cream the other night just to be nice. I had mentioned wanting to make a recipe with it sometime so he got me some to try. But today I’m just feeling horrid. It’s gonna be a new year and I’m sure it’ll be just as worthless as this year. So I decided to down like half the bottle. It’s a small one, but I never drink, so a few minutes later I was feeling dizzy and still I am. I don’t even care. I would probably down the whole bottle if it wouldn’t make my dad suspicious. Cause you know he’s allowed to have bad habits but I’m not. Everyone is.
On the bright side I’ll probably sleep well tonight.
|
testamentsofanguish
| 1 | 0 | 2 |
2020-01-01 00:42:28
|
depression
|
<efs>I felt miserable and still do so I thought, hey, why not do what my dad always does and drown my sorrows with alcohol?<efe> He got me a bottle of Irish cream the other night just to be nice. I had mentioned wanting to make a recipe with it sometime so he got me some to try. <efs>But today I’m just feeling horrid.<efe> <es>It’s gonna be a new year and I’m sure it’ll be just as worthless as this year.<ee> So I decided to down like half the bottle. It’s a small one, but I never drink, so a few minutes later I was feeling dizzy and still I am. I don’t even care. I would probably down the whole bottle if it wouldn’t make my dad suspicious. Cause you know he’s allowed to have bad habits but I’m not. Everyone is. On the bright side I’ll probably sleep well tonight.
| 1 | 2 | 0 |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
why the past year was worthless
| null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
|
feel horrid and apprehensive about the new year
| null | true | 120 |
emorak
|
How do you go about dealing with a meth addict friend?
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 2 |
They never shot up or smoked it so silver linings..
Lifelong friend was off of the shit for years. Relapsed and caused an obvious strain on their family and myself. I was over accommodating with the bs of a recent relapse without enabling while dealing with the paranoia for a week or two until said paranoia was apparent to friend.
They did well for a few months or so and have recently slipped back into it.
I love this friend with all of my heart. I will do anything for them but I've learned that just as I'm about to turn them away so are their siblings and mother.
I don't want to see them become homeless and fall deeper into the nonsense that has gotten them to where they are but I get why everyone around them is fed up.
Any advice? Please? I don't want to turn my back or see their family do the same but god damn do I get why they would.
|
bxball
| 1 | 0 | 4 |
2020-01-10 09:42:13
|
addiction
|
<es>How do you go about dealing with a meth addict friend?<ee> They never shot up or smoked it so silver linings.. <es>Lifelong friend was off of the shit for years.<ee> <es>Relapsed and caused an obvious strain on their family and myself.<ee> <es>I was over accommodating with the bs of a recent relapse without enabling while dealing with the paranoia for a week or two until said paranoia was apparent to friend.<ee> <es>They did well for a few months or so and have recently slipped back into it.<ee> <es>I love this friend with all of my heart.<ee> <es>I will do anything for them but I've learned that just as I'm about to turn them away so are their siblings and mother.<ee> <rs>I don't want to see them become homeless and fall deeper into the nonsense that has gotten them to where they are but I get why everyone around them is fed up.<re> <rs>Any advice?<re> Please? <rs>I don't want to turn my back or see their family do the same but god damn do I get why they would.<re>
| 2 | 0 | 2 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null |
How did X make you feel?
|
your friend's relapse
| null | null |
title
| true | 202 |
eiok69
|
My head is being a prick!
|
1a
|
rant
| 1 |
Before I start, there may be some triggers here, sorry in advance.
I’ve just had a really shit few days now as my obsessive thoughts keep stopping me from meeting my family or having fun with my friends. I’m now worrying about whether or not my suicidal thoughts are my own or just my anxiety. I’ve got so much pent up aggression at myself over stuff like this and I can’t get it out of my system and is making me feel depressed.
I can’t stop saying sorry for every little thing and it makes me feel like a child. I don’t know if it’s because I feel everyone’s problems are a result of me or what.
I feel that I’m going to fall apart and I don’t know what to do and I don’t think I’m doing well against this and I don’t know what to do anymore.
I’m sorry for the rant I’m just feel like shit ATM.
|
PlatoDrago
| 1 | 0 | 3 |
2020-01-01 22:04:28
|
Anxiety
|
Before I start, there may be some triggers here, sorry in advance. <es>I’ve just had a really shit few days now as my obsessive thoughts keep stopping me from meeting my family or having fun with my friends.<ee> <efs>I’m now worrying about whether or not my suicidal thoughts are my own or just my anxiety.<efe> <efs>I’ve got so much pent up aggression at myself over stuff like this and I can’t get it out of my system and is making me feel depressed. <efe> <es>I can’t stop saying sorry for every little thing and it makes me feel like a child.<ee> <es>I don’t know if it’s because I feel everyone’s problems are a result of me or what.<ee> <efs>I feel that I’m going to fall apart and I don’t know what to do and I don’t think I’m doing well against this and I don’t know what to do anymore. <efe> <efs>I’m sorry for the rant I’m just feel like shit ATM.<efe>
| 2 | 2 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you are worrying about your negative thoughts
| null | true | 220 |
el332a
|
Do days spent sober in jail count as sober days?
|
1b
|
survey
| 2 |
I'm curious to hear some other opinions on this. I'm currently in inpatient rehab (8 days sober today 🤘). We have a town hall meeting in the mornings and recognize people for milestones (30 days, 60 days, etc). Someone was going to be recognized for their 90 days, until it came up that her first 45 days were spent in jail. Basically she got released from jail and immediately checked into treatment. After being super excited they told her they were not going to give her a 90 day chip and that her old 60 day chip didn't really count either.
I feel like this is super fucked up. I mean if the ONLY sober time you have is because of jail and you go and get blitzed the day you get out, that's one thing. But if you keep your sobriety going forward I don't see why the time in jail "doesn't count".
Genuinely curious what other people think about this. This is small periods of time but like if I went to jail for a year, got out and stayed sober for four more years, I'd think I deserve to be proud of the whole 5 years. Thoughts?
|
johnny_hammerstyx
| 1 | 0 | 38 |
2020-01-07 00:21:34
|
alcoholicsanonymous
|
<rs>I'm curious to hear some other opinions on this.<re> <es>I'm currently in inpatient rehab (8 days sober today 🤘).<ee> <es>We have a town hall meeting in the mornings and recognize people for milestones (30 days, 60 days, etc).<ee> <es>Someone was going to be recognized for their 90 days, until it came up that her first 45 days were spent in jail.<ee> <es>Basically she got released from jail and immediately checked into treatment.<ee> <es>After being super excited they told her they were not going to give her a 90 day chip and that her old 60 day chip didn't really count either. <ee> <efs>I feel like this is super fucked up.<efe> <es>I mean if the ONLY sober time you have is because of jail and you go and get blitzed the day you get out, that's one thing.<ee> <es>But if you keep your sobriety going forward I don't see why the time in jail "doesn't count".<ee> <rs>Genuinely curious what other people think about this.<re> <es>This is small periods of time but like if I went to jail for a year, got out and stayed sober for four more years, I'd think I deserve to be proud of the whole 5 years.<ee> <rs>Thoughts?<re>
| 2 | 1 | 2 | null | null |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
how you feel about her situation
| null | null | null | true | 212 |
esfhq7
|
Pre-assessment details
|
0
|
help-seeking
| 1 |
I finally made the phone call after 3 years to the rape and sexual abuse to the foundation we have where I live, they specialise in giving free treatment for up to 12 weeks for woman that have suffered, where they are not part of the NHS or police force so everything is confidential and there’s no pressure to come forward and be put through investigation of that’s not what you want.
They do a pre-assessment interview to ‘get to know you’ they said it’s non intrusive and just like a chat between two people but of course they are likely to ask some questions.
Has anyone had a pre-assessment before counselling and what did they ask?
|
Vampidy
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
2020-01-22 17:50:43
|
rapecounseling
|
<es>I finally made the phone call after 3 years to the rape and sexual abuse to the foundation we have where I live, they specialise in giving free treatment for up to 12 weeks for woman that have suffered, where they are not part of the NHS or police force so everything is confidential and there’s no pressure to come forward and be put through investigation of that’s not what you want. <ee> <es>They do a pre-assessment interview to ‘get to know you’ they said it’s non intrusive and just like a chat between two people but of course they are likely to ask some questions. <ee> <rs>Has anyone had a pre-assessment before counselling and what did they ask?<re>
| 2 | 0 | 2 | null | null |
How did X make you feel?
|
contacting the foundation
| null | null | null | true | 202 |
eqvagi
|
Filing him for rape
|
1b
|
help-seeking
| 1 |
Hi so..
I met this guy and we were getting to know each other as friends. But then things escalated sexually. The agreement was I was only to receive oral sex. I've told him 3 times no pill, no condom, no sex. And then he inserted his penis in me while we were having a break and I was drinking water. I've gone to the police and they have started the investigation. I called him last night for a pretext (which is a recorded call at the police station) and we talked and I feel like I'm going to ruin his life. I'm still conflicted as to whether to continue with the process and eventually take it up to trial because the police (who are male) keep heavily emphasising the punishment for him which is watch house for a couple of months then jail. I have been dissasociating from the present and not coping well. It will take 2 years of my life where I will be ripped apart by the barrister and the jury and I feel like I will be eaten alive. Can someone please let me know their thoughts?
|
321-throwaway-123123
| 1 | 0 | 12 |
2020-01-19 11:40:56
|
rapecounseling
|
Hi so.. <es>I met this guy and we were getting to know each other as friends.<ee> <es>But then things escalated sexually.<ee> <es>The agreement was I was only to receive oral sex.<ee> <es>I've told him 3 times no pill, no condom, no sex. And then he inserted his penis in me while we were having a break and I was drinking water.<ee> <es>I've gone to the police and they have started the investigation.<ee> <efs>I called him last night for a pretext (which is a recorded call at the police station) and we talked and I feel like I'm going to ruin his life.<efe> <es>I'm still conflicted as to whether to continue with the process and eventually take it up to trial because the police (who are male) keep heavily emphasising the punishment for him which is watch house for a couple of months then jail.<ee> <efs>I have been dissasociating from the present and not coping well.<efe> <efs>It will take 2 years of my life where I will be ripped apart by the barrister and the jury and I feel like I will be eaten alive.<efe> <rs>Can someone please let me know their thoughts?<re>
| 2 | 2 | 2 | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 222 |
f52sm8
|
HEY YOU GUYS WANNA PLAY GETTING OVER IT
|
0
|
chitchat
| 2 |
\*FARTS\*
|
CorruptedKitten
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
2020-02-17 03:59:30
|
getting_over_it
|
\*FARTS\*
| 0 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
random
| true | 0 |
etoz9b
|
Angry at my narcissistic ex and his shit parenting
|
1b
|
help-seeking
| 3 |
My ex has been in and out of our child’s life for the entire 5 years of his life. During the actual relationship I never got angry, we would fall out and I would get the silent treatment, so when he finally started talking to me again, I didn’t dare argue or discuss how hurt I was in case I got punished again. But then we had a child, I may have been a push over, but I will always stand up for my child, so I left him within a year of our child’s birth.
So since moving when ever he did something wrong I would call him out on it, he would vanish and come back saying I’m unhinged, our schedule would resume until I confronted him about the next issue. And it was always valid reasons like not using a car seat, using a car that hadn’t had its MOT or valid insurance, all valid things that I would bring up calmly. But he would ignore me and block me.
Now it’s all going to court, and he’s trying to pin his bad parenting on my anger. I’ll admit that 2 years ago I did scratch his car, toxic I know. I had planned a night away with someone, but my ex decided he wouldn’t collect our child from nursery, so I went round to discuss the entire crazy situation and how I couldn’t continue with him disappearing and dropping in and out and told him if he drove off I would scratch his car, and he did. I offered to pay damages and he said I didn’t need to pay, he openly said he deserved it, that’s the only time I have reacted badly. I have since given him money to fix it, despite him not asking for it.
After that I also realised I needed to control my anger, I had built up this anger for 8 long years, and the release felt amazing (so wrong I know), so I realised I needed to realise my anger, in a healthy way, instead of bottling it all up.
I now wait 24 hours before I respond to my ex when I’m annoyed, I ask others for their opinion, to see if I’m over reacting or not and I meditate.
I messaged my ex in November saying I was angry at how he treated our child, his reply was “it’s not healthy that you are angry, you should seek professional help for that”. So I guess my question is, am I justified in being angry? Doesn’t make me a bad person right? I never take it out on anyone else, my child has never witnessed me even raise my voice, I am angry with my ex, but I believe I channel it correctly?
He’s also currently trying to set me off, he hasn’t a leg to stand on in court, so he’s trying to prove I’m ‘unhinged’ by having his family follow me around, knowing how anxious they make me feel, and I have a feeling he will step up how attempts soon. So has anyone any other coping mechanisms on how not to let it affect me mentally? I know I won’t physically react, I’m very good at walking away from a bad situation, but mentally it does get to me, I just don’t show it.
Thanks to anyone who read my post!
|
TAaacountForHelp
| 1 | 0 | 11 |
2020-01-25 09:55:05
|
Anger
|
<es>My ex has been in and out of our child’s life for the entire 5 years of his life.<ee> <es>During the actual relationship I never got angry, we would fall out and I would get the silent treatment, so when he finally started talking to me again, I didn’t dare argue or discuss how hurt I was in case I got punished again.<ee> <es>But then we had a child, I may have been a push over, but I will always stand up for my child, so I left him within a year of our child’s birth.<ee> <es>So since moving when ever he did something wrong I would call him out on it, he would vanish and come back saying I’m unhinged, our schedule would resume until I confronted him about the next issue.<ee> <es>And it was always valid reasons like not using a car seat, using a car that hadn’t had its MOT or valid insurance, all valid things that I would bring up calmly.<ee> <es>But he would ignore me and block me.<ee> <es>Now it’s all going to court, and he’s trying to pin his bad parenting on my anger.<ee> <es>I’ll admit that 2 years ago I did scratch his car, toxic I know.<ee> <es>I had planned a night away with someone, but my ex decided he wouldn’t collect our child from nursery, so I went round to discuss the entire crazy situation and how I couldn’t continue with him disappearing and dropping in and out and told him if he drove off I would scratch his car, and he did.<ee> <es>I offered to pay damages and he said I didn’t need to pay, he openly said he deserved it, that’s the only time I have reacted badly.<ee> I have since given him money to fix it, despite him not asking for it. After that I also realised I needed to control my anger, I had built up this anger for 8 long years, and the release felt amazing (so wrong I know), so I realised I needed to realise my anger, in a healthy way, instead of bottling it all up. I now wait 24 hours before I respond to my ex when I’m annoyed, I ask others for their opinion, to see if I’m over reacting or not and I meditate. <es>I messaged my ex in November saying I was angry at how he treated our child, his reply was “it’s not healthy that you are angry, you should seek professional help for that”.<ee> <rs>So I guess my question is, am I justified in being angry?<re> <rs>Doesn’t make me a bad person right?<re> <rs>I never take it out on anyone else, my child has never witnessed me even raise my voice, I am angry with my ex, but I believe I channel it correctly?<re> <es>He’s also currently trying to set me off, he hasn’t a leg to stand on in court, so he’s trying to prove I’m ‘unhinged’ by having his family follow me around, knowing how anxious they make me feel, and I have a feeling he will step up how attempts soon.<ee> <rs>So has anyone any other coping mechanisms on how not to let it affect me mentally?<re> <rs>I know I won’t physically react, I’m very good at walking away from a bad situation, but mentally it does get to me, I just don’t show it.<re> Thanks to anyone who read my post!
| 2 | 0 | 2 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null |
How did X make you feel?
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your ex's behaviour
| null | null | null | true | 202 |
ej1kcy
|
Anyone else went minimalist over social anxiety?
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0
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survey
| 1 |
.
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-Long-Gone-
| 4 | 0 | 11 |
2020-01-02 17:56:07
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socialanxiety
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.
| 0 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
random
| true | 0 |
eiv6q7
|
Left over numbness from extreme anxiety and DPDR?
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1a
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help-seeking
| 2 |
So I went through traumatic DPDR from weed trauma... i had every symptom like existential horrid thoughts, dreamlike, matrix, weird sleep everything.... vivid nightmares u name it... and its all almost gone.
But the emotional numbness is still here. It is like my emotions happen sometimes but I cannot feel them. I can only feel really strong emotions, and I feel them as if it is not strong at all. I also have physical numbness in a way, like i can't "feel" things properly like there's a layer of feeling missing.
I also have sexual numbness, I can orgasm okay if the setting is right (used to have super high sex drive and always good sexual) but its like my skin has barely any sensation. I also have no sex drive, other than intellectually or mentally out of habit. Unless I see something really hot in front of me, then maybe i get a little slight bit of feeling that dont last that long.
It is like my CNS is burnt out completely, thats what it feels like. Sometimes when its bad the numbness, I dont even wanna be touched on my penis, its like not painful ,but its too much... like my inner muscles are too tired to even respond.
It would really help me if someone here experienced something similar, as I am scared its from the SSRIs I took, but each time i got off (2 times) my feelings and sexual returned to normal it seemed. But the last time, 2-3 months in my DPDR returned HARd and thats when this numbness started.
I am hoping a lot this is from DPDR... and I am hoping there are ppl who recovered from this horrid symptom. I also have anhedonia sometimes, but maybe that is from being so numb so I can't feel the fun in stuff... I really hope it is not brain damage from drugs.
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Asgarnian_Seed
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
2020-01-02 07:32:54
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Anxiety
|
<es>So I went through traumatic DPDR from weed trauma... i had every symptom like existential horrid thoughts, dreamlike, matrix, weird sleep everything.... vivid nightmares u name it... and its all almost gone.<ee> <efs>But the emotional numbness is still here.<efe> <efs>It is like my emotions happen sometimes but I cannot feel them.<efe> <efs>I can only feel really strong emotions, and I feel them as if it is not strong at all.<efe> <efs>I also have physical numbness in a way, like i can't "feel" things properly like there's a layer of feeling missing.<efe> <efs>I also have sexual numbness, I can orgasm okay if the setting is right (used to have super high sex drive and always good sexual) but its like my skin has barely any sensation.<efe> <efs>I also have no sex drive, other than intellectually or mentally out of habit.<efe> <efs>Unless I see something really hot in front of me, then maybe i get a little slight bit of feeling that dont last that long.<efe> <efs>It is like my CNS is burnt out completely, thats what it feels like.<efe> <efs>Sometimes when its bad the numbness, I dont even wanna be touched on my penis, its like not painful ,but its too much... like my inner muscles are too tired to even respond.<efe> <efs>It would really help me if someone here experienced something similar, as I am scared its from the SSRIs I took, but each time i got off (2 times) my feelings and sexual returned to normal it seemed.<efe> <es>But the last time, 2-3 months in my DPDR returned HARd and thats when this numbness started.<ee> I am hoping a lot this is from DPDR... and I am hoping there are ppl who recovered from this horrid symptom. I also have anhedonia sometimes, but maybe that is from being so numb so I can't feel the fun in stuff... I really hope it is not brain damage from drugs.
| 2 | 2 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you are feeling numbness due to DPDR
| null | true | 220 |
emgpeq
|
Constant Fear of not being believed
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1a
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help-seeking
| 2 |
So yesterday I was talking to my therapist in our weekly session. I recently disclosed that I was raped when I was ten. We’ve talked about it and been working through it. I’ve never told anyone about it. No one and it happened 20+ years ago. I’ve been holding it in for 20+ years... So it’s a lot to finally tell my therapist. But I’ve grown to trust him to feel like I could finally share what happened to me. I’ve been through some other trauma and a lot of being invalidated, dismissed etc... Grew up with an emotionally absent father and a narcissistic bipolar mother, divorce, sibling getting involved with drugs etc... I suffocated my feelings to the point where I have extreme anxiety over expressing my feelings now. I have also spent my whole life being dismissed and thinking no one will listen to me, no one will believe me, I’m too much, I’m a burden, they have so much going on I can’t possibly add on to it with my problems. Which turned into, it wasn’t that bad, others have it so much worse, it was my fault, maybe it didn’t happen and I’m just making it up. So, I’m constantly struggling with thinking I won’t be believed etc... Anyway, at my session yesterday he asked me why it was still so hard to talk about it after telling him. I explained to him that talking about it out loud makes it feel real. He said “but it is real right?” To which I said yes. I told him that when it’s just in my head I could shut it away for periods of time and convince myself it didn’t happen. Again he said “but it did happen right?”. He said that a few more times anytime I said how I desired for it to not be real or convince myself it didn’t happen. I even said I just wanted to forget it even happened. I think the purpose was to continue to help me realize it is real and it did happen. But part of me thinks constantly that he doesn’t believe me and that him asking those questions was because he doesn’t believe me. So it’s creating anxiety for me. On top of that I opened this can of worms that is my rape and the plan was to use EMDR but I just found out I’m pregnant and he said it is not recommended to do EMDR during pregnancy so we’ll have to use other methods like talk therapy. I’m feeling really frustrated with that even though he’s making the best choice for both my and the baby’s well being. He suggested I start by writing about my feelings around the incident and I don’t even know where to freaking start because I feel so many emotions at once. It’s a tangled mess. Ugh :(
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humblyeden
| 1 | 0 | 5 |
2020-01-09 21:57:07
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rapecounseling
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<es>So yesterday I was talking to my therapist in our weekly session.<ee> <es> I recently disclosed that I was raped when I was ten.<ee> <es> We’ve talked about it and been working through it. <ee> <es>I’ve never told anyone about it.<ee> <es>No one and it happened 20+ years ago. <ee> <es>I’ve been holding it in for 20+ years... So it’s a lot to finally tell my therapist.<ee> <es> But I’ve grown to trust him to feel like I could finally share what happened to me.<ee> <es> I’ve been through some other trauma and a lot of being invalidated, dismissed etc... <ee> <es>Grew up with an emotionally absent father and a narcissistic bipolar mother, divorce, sibling getting involved with drugs etc... <ee> <efs>I suffocated my feelings to the point where I have extreme anxiety over expressing my feelings now. <efe> <es>I have also spent my whole life being dismissed and thinking no one will listen to me, no one will believe me, I’m too much, I’m a burden, they have so much going on I can’t possibly add on to it with my problems.<ee> <es> Which turned into, it wasn’t that bad, others have it so much worse, it was my fault, maybe it didn’t happen and I’m just making it up. <ee> <es>So, I’m constantly struggling with thinking I won’t be believed etc...<ee> <es> Anyway, at my session yesterday he asked me why it was still so hard to talk about it after telling him. <ee> <es>I explained to him that talking about it out loud makes it feel real.<ee> <es> He said “but it is real right?”<ee> <es>To which I said yes.<ee> <es> I told him that when it’s just in my head I could shut it away for periods of time and convince myself it didn’t happen.<ee> <es> Again he said “but it did happen right?”. <ee> <es>He said that a few more times anytime I said how I desired for it to not be real or convince myself it didn’t happen.<ee> <es> I even said I just wanted to forget it even happened. <ee> <es>I think the purpose was to continue to help me realize it is real and it did happen.<ee> <es> But part of me thinks constantly that he doesn’t believe me and that him asking those questions was because he doesn’t believe me. <ee> <efs>So it’s creating anxiety for me.<efe> <es>On top of that I opened this can of worms that is my rape and the plan was to use EMDR but I just found out I’m pregnant and he said it is not recommended to do EMDR during pregnancy so we’ll have to use other methods like talk therapy. <ee> <efs>I’m feeling really frustrated with that even though he’s making the best choice for both my and the baby’s well being. <efe> <efs>He suggested I start by writing about my feelings around the incident and I don’t even know where to freaking start because I feel so many emotions at once.<efe> It’s a tangled mess. Ugh :(
| 2 | 2 | 0 | null | null | null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you feel frustrated that your therapist doesn't believe you
| null | true | 220 |
f10fp4
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Struggle with keeping sight of mental health goals and discipline
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1a
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help-seeking
| 1 |
I'm pretty high functioning. I'm usually employed, I have a shaky hold on a few relationships. I'm healthy-ish, though that's starting to slip more than anything else. Discipline doesn't stick, not long-term at least. I could do something for weeks and then not do it once and the habit would be broken (I have the opposite of an addictive personality).
I'm trying to get better, but I have trouble finding the energy to do so. I quickly lose sight of what I am working for, why I should care.
This problem is becoming worse the older I get. There are so many reasons why I *shouldn't* care, where I *know* that I can't make a difference. All with the feeling that in the grand scheme nothing we do matters and if I'm miserable why bother? Age and wisdom are double-edged swords like that.
How do you keep sight of your goals and continue progressing? It seems like a constant uphill battle where I'm not sure why I'm fighting.
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randomcthrowway
| 1 | 0 | 4 |
2020-02-09 00:20:53
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getting_over_it
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<es>I'm pretty high functioning.<ee> <es>I'm usually employed, I have a shaky hold on a few relationships.<ee> <es>I'm healthy-ish, though that's starting to slip more than anything else.<ee> <es>Discipline doesn't stick, not long-term at least.<ee> <es>I could do something for weeks and then not do it once and the habit would be broken (I have the opposite of an addictive personality).<ee> <es>I'm trying to get better, but I have trouble finding the energy to do so.<ee> <es>I quickly lose sight of what I am working for, why I should care.<ee> <es>This problem is becoming worse the older I get.<ee> <es>There are so many reasons why I *shouldn't* care, where I *know* that I can't make a difference.<ee> <efs>All with the feeling that in the grand scheme nothing we do matters and if I'm miserable why bother?<efe> Age and wisdom are double-edged swords like that. <rs>How do you keep sight of your goals and continue progressing?<re> <es>It seems like a constant uphill battle where I'm not sure why I'm fighting.<ee>
| 2 | 1 | 2 | null | null |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
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how you feel after the habit is broken
| null | null | null | true | 212 |
ej0vnu
|
Unhealthy eating & routine.
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1a
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survey
| 1 |
DAE hates their body weight and want to lose some and wants to resolve hair & skin issues but can’t because they eat loads of junk & sugar in destructive mode but also wants to and tries to eat clean? :( I want to stick to walking for 1 hr daily and cutting off sugar + junk food & I also want to sleep early wakeup early but I cant & I just do not trust my self 🥺🥺🥺 suffering a lot due to these bad habits.
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hibaaamir
| 1 | 0 | 4 |
2020-01-02 17:06:30
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BPD
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DAE hates their body weight and want to lose some and wants to resolve hair & skin issues but can’t because they eat loads of junk & sugar in destructive mode but also wants to and tries to eat clean? :( I want to stick to walking for 1 hr daily and cutting off sugar + junk food & I also want to sleep early wakeup early but I cant & I just do not trust my self 🥺🥺🥺 suffering a lot due to these bad habits.
| 0 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
repeat
| true | 0 |
ej6dwn
|
One month
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0
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help-seeking
| 1 |
Today marks 30 days since I detoxed cold turkey off of suboxone after being on it for a year and a half. It was rough af but I'm finally starting to feel better besides the emotional part of it. Not really sure what else to expect after this if anyone has done the same as me, any and all advice is appreciated.
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gnikito
| 3 | 0 | 20 |
2020-01-02 23:33:54
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OpiatesRecovery
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<es>Today marks 30 days since I detoxed cold turkey off of suboxone after being on it for a year and a half.<ee> <efs>It was rough af but I'm finally starting to feel better besides the emotional part of it.<efe> <rs>Not really sure what else to expect after this if anyone has done the same as me, any and all advice is appreciated.<re>
| 1 | 0 | 2 |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
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your cold turkey addiction
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How did X make you feel?
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staying of the drugs
| null | null | null | true | 102 |
eqqg26
|
Struggling to end it.
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1a
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help-seeking
| 2 |
Hey guys first post here so please forgive if I’m not following the correct formats/rules.
Long story short- got introduced to norcos in 10th grade (dad had several back surgeries) and was addicted for several years in my late teens. Went to rehab/counseling and recovered relatively well. (Also I’ve been diagnosed w PTSD from several years of sexual abuse as a child to explain my proclivity towards drugs at such a young age.)
I’m 29 now and the first relapse I’ve ever had in those ten years from then and now happened 3 months ago. Not even sure how it started- I’m a new dad so I’m guessing some of the stress of that. Regardless, I was popping whole 30mg oxys’s four times a day two weeks ago and at the height of my usage. Super disappointed in myself and thought this could never happen to me- go figure.
Since then, I’ve tapered down with tens and I am currently taking 15 mgs of hydro once a day. I’ve felt like shit the last two weeks and even came clean to my wife about everything (super shitty) but I have been able to operate as I don’t have the option of rehab/taking time off right now.
I was in Vegas the last two days installing some flooring for a convention and working extremely physically hard. As such, I haven’t taken anything for 1.5 days. As soon as I drove back to so cal I panicked and bought two blues from my dealer and took half of one. I was super sore from working hard and used that bullshit excuse to get high.
I’m super frustrated with myself and I feel like I just blew two weeks of a hard taper and feeling like dog ass. I know that my relapse is short enough to get through withdrawals in probably 3 days but I’m just so goddamn scared. I keep psyching myself out.
Any advice on how to take that next step?
Thank you all for your posts and comments. I’ve lurked for a long time and you guys give me hope in this shitty situation known as opiates.
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lettersandspace
| 1 | 0 | 14 |
2020-01-19 02:24:55
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OpiatesRecovery
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Hey guys first post here so please forgive if I’m not following the correct formats/rules. <es>Long story short- got introduced to norcos in 10th grade (dad had several back surgeries) and was addicted for several years in my late teens.<ee> <es>Went to rehab/counseling and recovered relatively well.<ee> <es>(Also I’ve been diagnosed w PTSD from several years of sexual abuse as a child to explain my proclivity towards drugs at such a young age.) <ee> <es>I’m 29 now and the first relapse I’ve ever had in those ten years from then and now happened 3 months ago.<ee> <es>Not even sure how it started- I’m a new dad so I’m guessing some of the stress of that.<ee> <es>Regardless, I was popping whole 30mg oxys’s four times a day two weeks ago and at the height of my usage.<ee> <efs>Super disappointed in myself and thought this could never happen to me- go figure. <efe> <es>Since then, I’ve tapered down with tens and I am currently taking 15 mgs of hydro once a day.<ee> <efs>I’ve felt like shit the last two weeks and even came clean to my wife about everything (super shitty) but I have been able to operate as I don’t have the option of rehab/taking time off right now. <efe> <es>I was in Vegas the last two days installing some flooring for a convention and working extremely physically hard.<ee> <es>As such, I haven’t taken anything for 1.5 days.<ee> <es>As soon as I drove back to so cal I panicked and bought two blues from my dealer and took half of one.<ee> <es>I was super sore from working hard and used that bullshit excuse to get high. <ee> <efs>I’m super frustrated with myself and I feel like I just blew two weeks of a hard taper and feeling like dog ass.<efe> <efs>I know that my relapse is short enough to get through withdrawals in probably 3 days but I’m just so goddamn scared.<efe> <efs>I keep psyching myself out. <efe> <rs>Any advice on how to take that next step? <re> Thank you all for your posts and comments. I’ve lurked for a long time and you guys give me hope in this shitty situation known as opiates.
| 2 | 2 | 2 | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 222 |
eieafl
|
I ended 2019 off with a relapse, but I'm going into 2020 clean
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1a
|
rant
| 1 |
Even though I relapsed a few weeks ago, I've been clean for the past two weeks, and I'm staying that way in 2020.
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loserhippiegirl
| 1 | 0 | 1 |
2020-01-01 05:04:38
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selfharm
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<es>I ended 2019 off with a relapse, but I'm going into 2020 clean<ee> <es>Even though I relapsed a few weeks ago, I've been clean for the past two weeks, and I'm staying that way in 2020.<ee>
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
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why you relapsed
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How did X make you feel?
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the relapse
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What do you need help with now that X?
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your relapsed again at the end of 2019
| null | true | 100 |
ejcflc
|
Should I Keep using this sub even though it makes me want to self harm, Reading about all the descriptions of blood and reasons to self harm which Are the exact same reasons I do?
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0
|
help-seeking
| 1 | null |
BallintheDallin
| 5 | 0 | 2 |
2020-01-03 08:03:57
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selfharm
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<rs>Should I Keep using this sub even though it makes me want to self harm, Reading about all the descriptions of blood and reasons to self harm which Are the exact same reasons I do?<re>
| 0 | 0 | 2 |
What happened that you want X ?
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to leave this sub
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Why are you wanting X ?
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to leave this sub
| null | null | null | true | 2 |
eifdr5
|
Alone on New Year’s Eve.
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0
|
chitchat
| 1 |
Ringing in the new year with my pup curled up next to me in bed. Definitely not complaining about that part. Not really complaining at all, just feel sad that I don’t have anyone else aside from my boyfriend to spend time with.
I hope you all are avoiding any triggers and stressors tonight, so you are able to enjoy bringing in a new decade. Let’s make it better than the last. Happy New Year!!
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thekatlife
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
2020-01-01 06:57:20
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ptsd
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<es>Ringing in the new year with my pup curled up next to me in bed.<ee> Definitely not complaining about that part. <es>Not really complaining at all, just feel sad that I don’t have anyone else aside from my boyfriend to spend time with.<ee> I hope you all are avoiding any triggers and stressors tonight, so you are able to enjoy bringing in a new decade. Let’s make it better than the last. Happy New Year!!
| 2 | 0 | 0 | null | null |
How did X make you feel?
|
being alone on the new year
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What do you need help with now that X?
|
you are sad about being lonely
| null | true | 200 |
f42hrk
|
I feel like I'm going to lose it
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1b
|
rant
| 2 |
Anger is not an emotion that I normally experience. I usually bury my anger with fear and sadness. I've gone to therapy to better handle my depression but I have a lingering trigger in my life. My stepfather is the most miserable man I've ever met in my life. My utter disdain for him has led me to have a problematic relationship with men in general. I have a deep rooted fear of having a relationship with a man and that is definitely a result of my direct interaction with him and my narcissistic father. My stepfather has belittled and abused my mother for years. He has shamed her, been condescending and openly mistreats her in front of his friends. He has accused her of being lazy and living off of him even though she has been supporting his broke ass for the past 3 years as she has been the breadwinner. Not once has my mom complained about carrying then family financial burden. He is a hypocrite and has a "high and mighty" attitude . He is the type of person that thinks he can do no wrong and that everyone else is at fault. Do you know how anger and resentment builds overtime and eventually it seeps into your daily thoughts before violently exploding. This build has been slow. Like an IV drip and it's here. I am livid. I am so fucking angry I feel like I can pick up a knife and have a go at him until he is limp beneath my fingertips. I know murder is only going to be the beginning of my problems. I am trying to calm down. I'm trying so hard to calm down. For my sister's sake who is young. For years , he has expected me to give him the respect that he thinks is due without producing any redeeming qualities that would have him worthy of them. I want him to leave. Get out of my life forever. My mom stays in the relationship for the sake of my sister and I know that she's deeply unhappy. I don't know what to do. I am tired of crying over this fuckery. I don't want to get to the point where I do something I regret.
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3noho1
| 1 | 0 | 1 |
2020-02-15 01:41:31
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Anger
|
<es>Anger is not an emotion that I normally experience.<ee> <es>I usually bury my anger with fear and sadness.<ee> <es>I've gone to therapy to better handle my depression but I have a lingering trigger in my life.<ee> <es>My stepfather is the most miserable man I've ever met in my life.<ee> <es>My utter disdain for him has led me to have a problematic relationship with men in general.<ee> <efs>I have a deep rooted fear of having a relationship with a man and that is definitely a result of my direct interaction with him and my narcissistic father.<efe> <es>My stepfather has belittled and abused my mother for years.<ee> <es>He has shamed her, been condescending and openly mistreats her in front of his friends.<ee> <es>He has accused her of being lazy and living off of him even though she has been supporting his broke ass for the past 3 years as she has been the breadwinner.<ee> <es>Not once has my mom complained about carrying then family financial burden.<ee> <es>He is a hypocrite and has a "high and mighty" attitude .<ee> <es>He is the type of person that thinks he can do no wrong and that everyone else is at fault.<ee> <es>Do you know how anger and resentment builds overtime and eventually it seeps into your daily thoughts before violently exploding.<ee> <es>This build has been slow.<ee> Like an IV drip and it's here. <es>I am livid.<ee> <efs>I am so fucking angry I feel like I can pick up a knife and have a go at him until he is limp beneath my fingertips.<efe> I know murder is only going to be the beginning of my problems. I am trying to calm down. I'm trying so hard to calm down. For my sister's sake who is young. <es>For years , he has expected me to give him the respect that he thinks is due without producing any redeeming qualities that would have him worthy of them.<ee> I want him to leave. Get out of my life forever. <es>My mom stays in the relationship for the sake of my sister and I know that she's deeply unhappy.<ee> I don't know what to do. <efs>I am tired of crying over this fuckery.<efe> I don't want to get to the point where I do something I regret.
| 2 | 2 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you feel angry due to your father's behaviour
| null | true | 220 |
f401cu
|
I am not scared
|
1a
|
rant
| 1 |
Just to clarify, I was not raped. I think I know it was a form of sexual assault, but it does not emotionally feel like an assault to me.
I was in a class and a guy I had been talking to for awhile took his pocket knife out and started rubbing it on my thigh. I did not say or do anything.
When I look back at that memory I feel nothing. No fear. No feeling gross. Just nothing at all.
When I think of someone I love being touched with a knife I feel afraid. Why can't I feel that way for me? It has been almost 15 years since it happened. I can tell people it happened, but I never have felt upset by the event. It seems strange that I am not upset at all. What makes me angry is feeling like someone can do that to me and I do not care about me or my safety. I want to care about me and what happens to my body.
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EyeOwlAtTheMoon
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
2020-02-14 22:31:48
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rapecounseling
|
<es>Just to clarify, I was not raped.<ee> <es>I think I know it was a form of sexual assault, but it does not emotionally feel like an assault to me. <ee> <es>I was in a class and a guy I had been talking to for awhile took his pocket knife out and started rubbing it on my thigh.<ee> <es>I did not say or do anything.<ee> <efs>When I look back at that memory I feel nothing.<efe> <efs>No fear.<efe> <efs>No feeling gross.<efe> <efs>Just nothing at all. <efe> <efs>When I think of someone I love being touched with a knife I feel afraid.<efe> <rs>Why can't I feel that way for me?<re> <es>It has been almost 15 years since it happened.<ee> <efs>I can tell people it happened, but I never have felt upset by the event. <efe> <es>It seems strange that I am not upset at all.<ee> <efs>What makes me angry is feeling like someone can do that to me and I do not care about me or my safety.<efe> <rs>I want to care about me and what happens to my body.<re>
| 2 | 2 | 1 | null | null | null | null |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
what would help you care more about yourself
| null | true | 221 |
elht72
|
How can I grow out from bullying ptsd?
|
1b
|
help-seeking
| 2 |
So far everyone in my life has been a bully to me. first it was just the regular thing like girls hating me, boys picking on me and all then but then it got worse and even the teachers bullied me and made me feel stupid and clumsy. when i told my mom about it she got pissed at me for complaining and said i should suck it up or that maybe SHE should also start bullying me because i'm just being a little brat. well she had been bullying me already about my weight and how my room is always messy. then i went to a therapist and she was very low-key about it but you could tell that she didn't really take me serious when i told her about my social anxiety, her advice was that i just talk to people and trust me i took that advice but he anxiety remained just as strong. i just feel so betrayed, like everyone is out to get me with a goal of making me feel inadequate. i tried so hard to be positive and i managed to be so for a whole two months but that short happiness was taken from me as well with some unpleasant news. i don't know what to do it's like no matter how hard i try i will always fall into the same hole and every time i climb out of it i'm a little weaker from it as opposite of stronger like lots of people love to tell you aka 'what doesn't kill you make you stronger.' it's not true for everyone.
|
Merry-goes-forever
| 1 | 0 | 2 |
2020-01-07 21:10:29
|
ptsd
|
<rs>How can I grow out from bullying ptsd?<re> <es>So far everyone in my life has been a bully to me.<ee> <es>first it was just the regular thing like girls hating me, boys picking on me and all then but then it got worse and even the teachers bullied me and made me feel stupid and clumsy.<ee> <es>when i told my mom about it she got pissed at me for complaining and said i should suck it up or that maybe SHE should also start bullying me because i'm just being a little brat.<ee> <es>well she had been bullying me already about my weight and how my room is always messy.<ee> <es>then i went to a therapist and she was very low-key about it but you could tell that she didn't really take me serious when i told her about my social anxiety, her advice was that i just talk to people and trust me i took that advice but he anxiety remained just as strong.<ee> <efs>i just feel so betrayed, like everyone is out to get me with a goal of making me feel inadequate.<efe> <es>i tried so hard to be positive and i managed to be so for a whole two months but that short happiness was taken from me as well with some unpleasant news.<ee> <es>i don't know what to do it's like no matter how hard i try i will always fall into the same hole and every time i climb out of it i'm a little weaker from it as opposite of stronger like lots of people love to tell you aka 'what doesn't kill you make you stronger.'<ee> it's not true for everyone.
| 2 | 2 | 2 | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 222 |
eihce8
|
I cant stop thinking about her.
|
1a
|
rant
| 2 |
I just had a bad dream. It's not the first time this week. Unfortunately I dont think it's the last. It was about my ex. I cant shake her out of my head and I keep having gut wrenching dreams about her. I just wanna forget her but I can never stop thinking about her. Every day I keep thinking about this girl that's already moved on. I cant even think of another girl except for her. It's been fucking 6 months and I'm still thinking about her. Why is it so hard to move on? I have no one to talk to about this, and every time I get the courage to tall to my friends about it I'm afraid I'll just geg laughed at. It's been months of course by now I must be over it. My heart just never let go. And I dont know what to do. It doesnt feel like it gets worse. It just feels like the pain is still there. Now the dreams started a couple days ago, and I'm having restless nights with these dreams. I woke up early today because of one. And I'm fed up and had to post it somewhere anywhere, I dont even care if no one reads it just to vent. If you made it this far thank you.
tldr: I cant stop thinking about my ex and now I cant even sleep.
|
Angelfire305
| 1 | 0 | 5 |
2020-01-01 11:15:43
|
sad
|
<es>I just had a bad dream.<ee> <es>It's not the first time this week.<ee> <es>Unfortunately I dont think it's the last.<ee> <es>It was about my ex.<ee> <es>I cant shake her out of my head and I keep having gut wrenching dreams about her.<ee> <es>I just wanna forget her but I can never stop thinking about her.<ee> <es>Every day I keep thinking about this girl that's already moved on.<ee> <es>I cant even think of another girl except for her.<ee> <es>It's been fucking 6 months and I'm still thinking about her.<ee> <rs>Why is it so hard to move on?<re> <efs>I have no one to talk to about this, and every time I get the courage to tall to my friends about it I'm afraid I'll just geg laughed at.<efe> <es>It's been months of course by now I must be over it.<ee> <es>My heart just never let go.<ee> And I dont know what to do. <efs>It doesnt feel like it gets worse.<efe> <efs>It just feels like the pain is still there.<efe> <efs>Now the dreams started a couple days ago, and I'm having restless nights with these dreams.<efe> <efs>I woke up early today because of one.<efe> <efs>And I'm fed up and had to post it somewhere anywhere, I dont even care if no one reads it just to vent.<efe> If you made it this far thank you. tldr: <es>I cant stop thinking about my ex and now I cant even sleep.<ee>
| 2 | 2 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you miss your ex
| null | true | 220 |
ejd2sl
|
To Anyone who uses a Journal:
|
0
|
survey
| 1 |
I bought my first journal today after reading a number of posts and threads about the benefits of journaling.
I’ve been having on and off “episodes” today - today has not been a good day after a succession of quite a few “happy days”
**What I would love people’s help with is:**
- how did your first write up go?
- what did you write about?
- do you write happy and sad things?
- I feel scared to put my emotions on paper how do I get past this??
THANK YOU SO MUCH IN ADVANCED
|
whatthefuuuuuuuck
| 2 | 0 | 12 |
2020-01-03 09:20:54
|
BPD
|
I bought my first journal today after reading a number of posts and threads about the benefits of journaling. I’ve been having on and off “episodes” today - today has not been a good day after a succession of quite a few “happy days” **What I would love people’s help with is:** - how did your first write up go? - what did you write about? - do you write happy and sad things? - I feel scared to put my emotions on paper how do I get past this?? THANK YOU SO MUCH IN ADVANCED
| 0 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 0 |
ekytae
|
I think i cured my violent sexual trauma and "fetish" by getting it to happen to me again. Is this possible? Is it sick? Trigger warning
|
1b
|
help-seeking
| 3 |
I (25M) was sexually abused almost daily as a kid from age 6 to 12, by an older man. I wouldn't call it "rape" because he didn't actually force me, he just taught me how to do everything and I never really existed. This led to me, at age 13, to start hanging out with older men who gave me alcohol and weed in exchange for sexual favors, because it just came naturally to me.
At 16 I was literally raped, strangled for 2 minutes , by one of these men who gave me shots of alcohol and got me kinda drunk, I wasn't wasted. Before I went to his house, I told him I did NOT want to get effed that night and he agreed and promised. But all of a sudden when I got there, he violently threw me on the ground and did it anyway. I remember his arms were around my neck while he was behind me on the floor, and my eyes were wide open but I couldn't see anything except super bright white light, fading in and out of consciousness. And I had to limp home bleeding after. (He still has 12 more years in prison).
I hated it at the time and it hurt alot, but when I turned 17, I started posting online hookup sites (ONLY WHEN I WAS SUPER DRUNK) that I was looking to be "real raped, choked" because for some reason it turned me on in my sick brain after that incident when I was 16. I wouldn't post it all the time , just like once every 2 or 3 months , and mostly did it for the messages . The guys I DID infrequently meet were all just really rough, but respected my feelings when I was in pain, even though I didn't want them to.
2 weeks ago, I posted on Grindr asking for that again. This guy sent me a car to his house, gave me lots of shots and one line of coke, which I had never done before. He choked me harder than the guy when I was 16 and did more stuff ,, you know ,, and I was literally in so much pain because he was using his whole hand, and I was screaming "OKAY STOP , PLEASE STOP PLEASE, STOP" and I was yelling so loud , and so much, and he only stopped when he noticed I was bleeding alot. And I was in so much pain almost crying ,, but I wasn't mad at him.
Over the next 2 days I realized that I do NOT want to be raped anymore. I can't go through it again. I feel like I cured myself from that sick fetish, and I feel brand new. It's so weird. I think it worked . Is this crazy???
TL;DR -- I (25M) was abused my whole childhood, and violently raped at 16 by a felon , and then I started having fantasies of being raped again when I was 17. I'm not talking about a fetish, I'm talking of a REAL rape. I found someone to do it violently to me again, a few weeks ago,, and I feel like it cured me of that sick "fetish". I don't feel so disgusting now for feeling that . Maybe because this time it was my choice? Is this sick? Do you think this cure will last? Thoughts? It's been weeks now , and the thought of being raped now sounds bad to me.
|
DanielKush
| 1 | 0 | 10 |
2020-01-06 19:22:37
|
ptsd
|
<es>I (25M) was sexually abused almost daily as a kid from age 6 to 12, by an older man.<ee> <es>I wouldn't call it "rape" because he didn't actually force me, he just taught me how to do everything and I never really existed.<ee> <es>This led to me, at age 13, to start hanging out with older men who gave me alcohol and weed in exchange for sexual favors, because it just came naturally to me.<Ee> <es> At 16 I was literally raped, strangled for 2 minutes , by one of these men who gave me shots of alcohol and got me kinda drunk, I wasn't wasted.<ee> <es>Before I went to his house, I told him I did NOT want to get effed that night and he agreed and promised.<ee> <es>But all of a sudden when I got there, he violently threw me on the ground and did it anyway.<ee> <es>I remember his arms were around my neck while he was behind me on the floor, and my eyes were wide open but I couldn't see anything except super bright white light, fading in and out of consciousness.<ee> <es>And I had to limp home bleeding after. (He still has 12 more years in prison).<ee> <efs>I hated it at the time and it hurt alot, but when I turned 17, I started posting online hookup sites (ONLY WHEN I WAS SUPER DRUNK) that I was looking to be "real raped, choked" because for some reason it turned me on in my sick brain after that incident when I was 16.<efe> <es>I wouldn't post it all the time , just like once every 2 or 3 months , and mostly did it for the messages .<ee <es>The guys I DID infrequently meet were all just really rough, but respected my feelings when I was in pain, even though I didn't want them to.<ee> <es>2 weeks ago, I posted on Grindr asking for that again.<ee> <es>This guy sent me a car to his house, gave me lots of shots and one line of coke, which I had never done before.<ee> <es>He choked me harder than the guy when I was 16 and did more stuff ,, you know ,, and I was literally in so much pain because he was using his whole hand, and I was screaming "OKAY STOP , PLEASE STOP PLEASE, STOP" and I was yelling so loud , and so much, and he only stopped when he noticed I was bleeding a lot.<ee> <es>And I was in so much pain almost crying ,, but I wasn't mad at him.<ee> <es>Over the next 2 days I realized that I do NOT want to be raped anymore.<ee> <es>I can't go through it again.<ee> <efs>I feel like I cured myself from that sick fetish, and I feel brand new.<efe> <efs>It's so weird.<efe> I think it worked . <rs>Is this crazy???<re> <es>TL;DR -- I (25M) was abused my whole childhood, and violently raped at 16 by a felon , and then I started having fantasies of being raped again when I was 17.<ee> <es>I'm not talking about a fetish, I'm talking of a REAL rape.<ee> <es>I found someone to do it violently to me again, a few weeks ago,, and I feel like it cured me of that sick "fetish".<ee> <efs>I don't feel so disgusting now for feeling that .<efe> <rs>Maybe because this time it was my choice?<re> <rs>Is this sick?<re> <rs>Do you think this cure will last?<re> <rs>Thoughts?<re> <es>It's been weeks now , and the thought of being raped now sounds bad to me.<ee>
| 2 | 1 | 2 | null | null |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
how did doing it again make you feel
| null | null | null | true | 212 |
elbrew
|
I plan to leave this bad habit in 2019
|
0
|
help-seeking
| 1 |
So this is about my 4th time trying to seriously get and STAY clean. Getting clean isnt the hard part for me, it's the STAYING clean part. I'm on day 2 and I've been taking a few grams of kratom and haven't been feeling much WDs besides choppy sleep but I've never been a great sleeper to begin with. Anyways, what are some tips to fighting cravings and TEMPTATIONS?? I really want to stay clean this time around. I want to enjoy the upcoming spring and summer without having to be on drugs to do so. My habit was about 120mg of oxy on a good day and 60 mg on a bad on and off for about 2 years. IM. So. Done. With. This. Sh*t.
|
stayclean2020
| 1 | 0 | 2 |
2020-01-07 13:47:16
|
OpiatesRecovery
|
<es>So this is about my 4th time trying to seriously get and STAY clean.<ee> <es>Getting clean isnt the hard part for me, it's the STAYING clean part.<ee> <efs>I'm on day 2 and I've been taking a few grams of kratom and haven't been feeling much WDs besides choppy sleep but I've never been a great sleeper to begin with.<efe> <rs>Anyways, what are some tips to fighting cravings and TEMPTATIONS??<re> <rs>I really want to stay clean this time around.<re> <rs>I want to enjoy the upcoming spring and summer without having to be on drugs to do so.<re> <es>My habit was about 120mg of oxy on a good day and 60 mg on a bad on and off for about 2 years.<ee> <efs>IM.<efe> <efs>So.<efe> <efs>Done.<efe> <efs>With.<efe> <efs>This.<efe> <efs>Sh*t.<efe>
| 2 | 2 | 2 | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 222 |
f6kev6
|
My Dad hits the dogs, but what if he starts hitting me ?
|
1b
|
rant
| 1 |
When we were little, before we noticed the split my dad used to hurt me. It wasn't exactly his fault, my parents didn't know about my trauma so when I scted out they figured discipline was what I needed.
The physabuse stopped when I was 14 but last year my dog had puppies and now we have a total of 7 animals in the unkempt house and my dad takes his anger out on the little ones.
It's really scary and tonight the dog flew into me cause my dad was interrupted while eating. I'm scared because if I act up again my dad might hit me like he did before. I don't wanna live here anymore.
|
konodida
| 1 | 0 | 1 |
2020-02-20 00:31:27
|
domesticviolence
|
<rs>My Dad hits the dogs, but what if he starts hitting me ?<re> <es>When we were little, before we noticed the split my dad used to hurt me.<ee> <es>It wasn't exactly his fault, my parents didn't know about my trauma so when I scted out they figured discipline was what I needed. <ee> <es>The physabuse stopped when I was 14 but last year my dog had puppies and now we have a total of 7 animals in the unkempt house and my dad takes his anger out on the little ones. <ee> <efs>It's really scary and tonight the dog flew into me cause my dad was interrupted while eating.<efe> <efs>I'm scared because if I act up again my dad might hit me like he did before.<efe> <efs>I don't wanna live here anymore.<efe>
| 2 | 2 | 2 | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 222 |
ek7vua
|
When it's time to stop
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 1 |
I don't have real problems with my addictions (alcohol, Porn, weed ) , I rarely drink or smoke weed or but when I do I always do way to much. It's like drinking so much that I puke, then I tell myself to stop drinking, after 2 weeks I drink 1 or 2 beer and then I need one last time. And then I will exaggerate it again. And it starts again. I always feel like that I need a special day or special time to quit ( something like the new year) and I know there is no special time. But still I can't quit without this special last time. And then I feel like shit and give up trying it again. Do you have any Tipps for me?
|
Vietmodern
| 2 | 0 | 5 |
2020-01-05 04:16:27
|
addiction
|
<es>I don't have real problems with my addictions (alcohol, Porn, weed ) , I rarely drink or smoke weed or but when I do I always do way to much.<ee> <es>It's like drinking so much that I puke, then I tell myself to stop drinking, after 2 weeks I drink 1 or 2 beer and then I need one last time.<ee> <es>And then I will exaggerate it again.<ee> <es>And it starts again.<ee> <efs>I always feel like that I need a special day or special time to quit ( something like the new year) and I know there is no special time.<efe> <es>But still I can't quit without this special last time.<ee> <efs>And then I feel like shit and give up trying it again.<efe> <rs>Do you have any Tipps for me?<re>
| 2 | 1 | 1 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
why you felt like giving up
|
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
what would help you control your drinking
| null | true | 211 |
ekxg9w
|
LPT: if your favorite TV show is causing anxiety, try slowing it down
|
0
|
chitchat
| 1 |
Video used to be limited to live broadcasts but is now available on 1000 different platforms and some allow you to control playback speed. Study your controls and see if yours does.
70-90% is good place to start, reducing how quickly scenes hit your nervous system and giving you more time to absorb and react to what’s happening on the screen.
|
ElectronGuru
| 1 | 0 | 1 |
2020-01-06 17:45:51
|
mentalillness
|
Video used to be limited to live broadcasts but is now available on 1000 different platforms and some allow you to control playback speed. Study your controls and see if yours does. 70-90% is good place to start, reducing how quickly scenes hit your nervous system and giving you more time to absorb and react to what’s happening on the screen.
| 0 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
random
| true | 0 |
eih8ty
|
The ironic feeling of loneliness when being around people.
|
1a
|
survey
| 1 |
Does anyone else have a feeling that you don't really belong in a given environment whenever people are happy around you?
Personally, I can't help but feel lonely when people are smiling. It's as if I don't deserve to be happy myself. I'm pretty sure it's not about the people I meet with, as I've been seeing multiple groups of different people, it's always the same. Honestly, I would rather just spend the NYE alone so I don't ruin the fun for anyone, instead of faking a smile whenever people around me smile as well.
This feeling sucks.
|
AdventurousTour2
| 1 | 0 | 6 |
2020-01-01 11:02:42
|
Anxiety
|
Does anyone else have a feeling that you don't really belong in a given environment whenever people are happy around you? Personally, I can't help but feel lonely when people are smiling. It's as if I don't deserve to be happy myself. I'm pretty sure it's not about the people I meet with, as I've been seeing multiple groups of different people, it's always the same. Honestly, I would rather just spend the NYE alone so I don't ruin the fun for anyone, instead of faking a smile whenever people around me smile as well. This feeling sucks.
| 0 | 2 | 2 |
What made you feel X ?
|
lonely when people are happy
| null | null | null | null | null | true | 22 |
eiq8fk
|
I took apart another pencil sharpener...
|
0
|
help-seeking
| 1 |
But I haven't used the blade! I've been clean for 10 days because of a deal with my friend (who I'll call Cheese from now on). She said that I should try to make it atleast half way thru January.
On top of that, her parents might be taking me and her to *finaly* report my mom and get me help soon. We will eventually do it, just maybe not as soon as I've been told before.
I'm reporting her for mental and emotional abuse, having illegal weed, and some neglect. I'm hoping this will help, but maybe it won't.
I have no idea. It hasn't happened yet.
Anyway, I've had a good start to 2020. What about you guys, gals and pals?
|
emery-is-lemony
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
2020-01-02 00:18:11
|
selfharm
|
<es>I took apart another pencil sharpener...<ee> <es>But I haven't used the blade!<ee> <es>I've been clean for 10 days because of a deal with my friend (who I'll call Cheese from now on).<ee> <es>She said that I should try to make it atleast half way thru January. <ee> <es>On top of that, her parents might be taking me and her to *finaly* report my mom and get me help soon.<ee> <es>We will eventually do it, just maybe not as soon as I've been told before.<ee> <es>I'm reporting her for mental and emotional abuse, having illegal weed, and some neglect.<ee> <es>I'm hoping this will help, but maybe it won't.<ee> <es>I have no idea.<ee> <es>It hasn't happened yet.<ee> Anyway, I've had a good start to 2020. What about you guys, gals and pals?
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
why you cut yourself
|
How did X make you feel?
|
your friend's parents planning to report to your mom
|
What do you need help with now that X?
|
your friend's parents are planning to report to your mom
| null | true | 100 |
epu4s3
|
Young people’s Aa conference - Memphis
|
0
|
survey
| 1 |
Hi all, I’m 20 years old from Australia. Thinking about travelling to Tennessee for Sercypaa (young people’s Aa conference) in April 2020.
I got sober at 19 and life has opened up in ways unimaginable to me prior. I am soon to be 14 months sober.
Unfortunately, or perhaps excitingly, I don’t have anyone from my local area to go to the conference with. I’m still excited to attend.
Is anyone here hoping to attend? Or has attended a young people’s conference before and can share their experience?
[event details ](https://sercypaa2020.org)
|
Djshez
| 1 | 0 | 5 |
2020-01-17 02:42:31
|
alcoholicsanonymous
|
<es>Young people’s Aa conference - Memphis<ee> <es>Hi all, I’m 20 years old from Australia.<ee> <es>Thinking about travelling to Tennessee for Sercypaa (young people’s Aa conference) in April 2020.<ee> <es>I got sober at 19 and life has opened up in ways unimaginable to me prior.<ee> <es>I am soon to be 14 months sober. <ee> <es>Unfortunately, or perhaps excitingly, I don’t have anyone from my local area to go to the conference with.<ee> <efs>I’m still excited to attend. <efe> <rs>Is anyone here hoping to attend?<re> <rs>Or has attended a young people’s conference before and can share their experience?<re> [event details ](https://sercypaa2020.org)
| 2 | 2 | 2 | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 222 |
ekhnpe
|
Does anyone else feel like they won't be able to hold down a job?
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 2 |
I'm just venting because work is getting to be too much for me, and I don't think I'll have a job for much longer.
I'm 19 and I've been diagnosed with depression and OCD, and am being reassessed by a psychiatrist for a possible bipolar diagnosis.
I've had the same job for 6 months after leaving a job I was at for 3 years. I've been feeling like I won't be able to hold down this job just based on the fact that I can't function properly anymore, even while being on meds. I took a week off of work due to what I suspect was a manic episode, and I've been finding that I can't get shit done. I've been finding during these "manic" periods that I think about quitting my job more because I don't need it or because I find other things too important. My spending habits, drinking, and not caring about most things in life has gotten out of control, so much so that I put it above work and university.
Even while I'm typing this out, I feel like I'm going to snap and go insane. I don't feel mentally well even after taking a week off, but I don't want people to think I'm faking it for time off. I feel like I'm in a downward spiral and I'm very close to quitting my job even though it will affect me financially. I try to explain to people (especially my mother) how bad things are, and I don't think anyone believes me. To add onto that, the wait list for a psychiatrist is probably so long that I won't get my meds changed for a while.
I don't even know where this post is going, except for I think I'm still in the middle of a manic episode and need help.
|
Dragonage342
| 1 | 0 | 2 |
2020-01-05 19:24:55
|
mentalillness
|
I'm just venting because work is getting to be too much for me, and I don't think I'll have a job for much longer. <es>I'm 19 and I've been diagnosed with depression and OCD, and am being reassessed by a psychiatrist for a possible bipolar diagnosis. <ee> I've had the same job for 6 months after leaving a job I was at for 3 years. <efs>I've been feeling like I won't be able to hold down this job just based on the fact that I can't function properly anymore, even while being on meds.<efe> <es>I took a week off of work due to what I suspect was a manic episode, and I've been finding that I can't get shit done.<ee> <es>I've been finding during these "manic" periods that I think about quitting my job more because I don't need it or because I find other things too important.<ee> <es>My spending habits, drinking, and not caring about most things in life has gotten out of control, so much so that I put it above work and university.<ee> <efs>Even while I'm typing this out, I feel like I'm going to snap and go insane.<efe> <efs>I don't feel mentally well even after taking a week off, but I don't want people to think I'm faking it for time off. I feel like I'm in a downward spiral and I'm very close to quitting my job even though it will affect me financially.<efe> <es>I try to explain to people (especially my mother) how bad things are, and I don't think anyone believes me.<ee> <es>To add onto that, the wait list for a psychiatrist is probably so long that I won't get my meds changed for a while.<ee> <rs>I don't even know where this post is going, except for I think I'm still in the middle of a manic episode and need help.<re>
| 2 | 0 | 1 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null |
How did X make you feel?
|
the manic episodes
|
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
what would help you with your manic episodes
| null | true | 201 |
eitv1e
|
Would you want your kid to have ADHD?
|
0
|
survey
| 1 |
Question may sound odd but I mean it in the same manner you would prefer your kid being a girl or boy.
|
Jojos_bizarre_adv
| 1 | 0 | 5 |
2020-01-02 05:19:49
|
ADHD
|
Question may sound odd but I mean it in the same manner you would prefer your kid being a girl or boy.
| 0 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
random
| true | 0 |
el8har
|
Needing to write out the trauma
|
0
|
help-seeking
| 1 |
Hey y'all, hope you're doing okay. So a few years back I got out of an abusive relationship and that was my most recent traumatic encounter, so I'm finding that to be my biggest hurdle right now. I have tried to forgive, I have tried to forget, to talk about it, everything. But the only thing that seems like it'd be appropriate for me because I have SO MUCH to say, is to write. And I'm not a writer. I don't want to publish a book or anything. But this would need to be a book platform. Have any of you ever needed to write out the trauma, or have any other suggestions that aren't so time consuming? Thanks in advance. Love u.
|
SweepDeepDoom
| 1 | 0 | 1 |
2020-01-07 07:50:48
|
ptsd
|
Hey y'all, hope you're doing okay. <es>So a few years back I got out of an abusive relationship and that was my most recent traumatic encounter, so I'm finding that to be my biggest hurdle right now.<ee> <es>I have tried to forgive, I have tried to forget, to talk about it, everything.<ee> <es>But the only thing that seems like it'd be appropriate for me because I have SO MUCH to say, is to write.<ee> <es>And I'm not a writer.<ee> <es>I don't want to publish a book or anything.<ee> <es>But this would need to be a book platform.<ee> <rs>Have any of you ever needed to write out the trauma, or have any other suggestions that aren't so time consuming?<re> Thanks in advance. Love u.
| 2 | 0 | 2 | null | null |
How did X make you feel?
|
the abusive relationship
| null | null | null | true | 202 |
ekpi99
|
Just had a good cry and need help...
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 3 |
To anybody who takes time to read this thank you....
I'm 28 and so tired of my social anxiety.
Backstory-
Mother left for drugs and another man so father took it out on me, verbally, physically, and emotionally abused until I moved out at 20.
Social anxiety flared up at 16 causing me to avoid school and started drinking early to cope. Barely graduated high school and developed major avoidance issues.
Had several jobs but can't stay at a job for more then a year usually because my social anxiety is worse around people I have been around longer and after I get too anxious I usually just leave and don't have it in me to give a notice.
Tried college and dropped out because of my crippling anxiety and having to do speeches and anything performance related.
Tried different psychiatrists and ssris and just gained weight after different ones and still unable to feel like a "normal" functioning person. Then I got a hold of benzos which took the edge off but after feeling super depressed decided to drink harder...
Went to rehab after being hosptialized for being suicidal and abusing benzos and alcohol which the place I went to didn't help a bit. I was with a bunch of crazies, no offense and was doped up on meds like a zombie.
Tried recovery groups and support groups but too anxious to share so stopped going...
Despite terrible relationships I did manage to get married to a great guy who I have been with for 7 years and have a beautiful fun 5 year old with however sometimes I feel foreign with my husband as he can't understand my social anxiety...most days I feel he can do better then me.
Let me get to the point why I really just broke down and I don't cry as I usually feel numb with the only other feeling being anxiety if that makes any damn sense?
Currently I do have a job as a new patient coordinator over the phone for a general wellness clinic going on 8 months with that I call a blessing because I make good money but I drink every day at work to deal. I am not proud of this and feel ashamed. I work 12 hour days and am mentally drained trying to talk to people all day and get people to schedule as I have goals to meet. I usually work alone except one day so I find peace in that but fear I have to have social interaction with coworkers which most of them are great. Recently we started doing meetings and role playing was brought up for the love of god. If I try to make a speech I shake, can't think straight, my lip quivers. It is extremely embarrassing.
Tonight my boss who is pretty laid back as long as we bring in patients calls me twice asking where we are at with scheduling. It wasn't very good and I was trying but I could hear in his voice what sounded like disappointment and I was unable to communicate efficiently. I'd like to think that I'm intelligent but when anxious my heart pounds, mouth gets dry, have trouble breathing, and can't make out what I want and need to say as if my brain is mush. When I'm buzzing I am outgoing and basically a functioning alcoholic. I was not buzzing for the first time I had to interact with him and I feel like a failure like am I going to be able to keep this going. I try not to think so much about the way I am because if I do I will cry. I hate myself for the way I cope and not seeking help earlier in life when my anxiety flared up and I started avoiding and drinking. I feel so hopeless because I feel like I will always need some substance to just feel okay. I do what I have to do to get by but I feel disgusted with myself for pouring alcohol in soda bottles to function. It's only getting worse and I'm only getting more tired. I feel like I'm letting my daughter down that her mama is weak because I have to drink to go to her school functions and be there for her. I am a good mom despite everything, I teach her self love and do everything I can to help her not be like me. She is so bright and I encourage her even though I feel like I barely love myself and a hypocrite. My health insurance sucks and I want to get help but I don't know what to do and I don't want to get admitted involuntarily somewhere. I know I can't keep this up I'm killing myself slowly and know the way I cope is unhealthy. I can't bring myself to tell people these things about me because I feel so ashamed but I want to break this vicious cycle.
Please someone tell me this isn't my life forever...
|
cagedbutterfly91
| 1 | 0 | 3 |
2020-01-06 05:31:55
|
socialanxiety
|
To anybody who takes time to read this thank you.... <efs>I'm 28 and so tired of my social anxiety.<efe> Backstory- <es>Mother left for drugs and another man so father took it out on me, verbally, physically, and emotionally abused until I moved out at 20.<ee> <es>Social anxiety flared up at 16 causing me to avoid school and started drinking early to cope.<ee> <es>Barely graduated high school and developed major avoidance issues.<ee> <es>Had several jobs but can't stay at a job for more then a year usually because my social anxiety is worse around people I have been around longer and after I get too anxious I usually just leave and don't have it in me to give a notice. <ee> <es>Tried college and dropped out because of my crippling anxiety and having to do speeches and anything performance related.<ee> <efs>Tried different psychiatrists and ssris and just gained weight after different ones and still unable to feel like a "normal" functioning person.<efe> <es>Then I got a hold of benzos which took the edge off but after feeling super depressed decided to drink harder...<ee> <es>Went to rehab after being hosptialized for being suicidal and abusing benzos and alcohol which the place I went to didn't help a bit.<ee> <es>I was with a bunch of crazies, no offense and was doped up on meds like a zombie.<ee> <es>Tried recovery groups and support groups but too anxious to share so stopped going...<ee> <efs>Despite terrible relationships I did manage to get married to a great guy who I have been with for 7 years and have a beautiful fun 5 year old with however sometimes I feel foreign with my husband as he can't understand my social anxiety...most days I feel he can do better then me.<efe> <efs>Let me get to the point why I really just broke down and I don't cry as I usually feel numb with the only other feeling being anxiety if that makes any damn sense?<efe> <es>Currently I do have a job as a new patient coordinator over the phone for a general wellness clinic going on 8 months with that I call a blessing because I make good money but I drink every day at work to deal.<ee> <efs>I am not proud of this and feel ashamed.<efe> <es>I work 12 hour days and am mentally drained trying to talk to people all day and get people to schedule as I have goals to meet.<ee> I usually work alone except one day so I find peace in that but fear I have to have social interaction with coworkers which most of them are great. <es>Recently we started doing meetings and role playing was brought up for the love of god.<ee> <es>If I try to make a speech I shake, can't think straight, my lip quivers.<ee> <efs>It is extremely embarrassing. <efe> <es>Tonight my boss who is pretty laid back as long as we bring in patients calls me twice asking where we are at with scheduling.<ee> <es>It wasn't very good and I was trying but I could hear in his voice what sounded like disappointment and I was unable to communicate efficiently.<ee> <efs>I'd like to think that I'm intelligent but when anxious my heart pounds, mouth gets dry, have trouble breathing, and can't make out what I want and need to say as if my brain is mush.<efe> <efs>When I'm buzzing I am outgoing and basically a functioning alcoholic.<efe> <efs>I was not buzzing for the first time I had to interact with him and I feel like a failure like am I going to be able to keep this going.<efe> I try not to think so much about the way I am because if I do I will cry. <efs>I hate myself for the way I cope and not seeking help earlier in life when my anxiety flared up and I started avoiding and drinking.<efe> <efs>I feel so hopeless because I feel like I will always need some substance to just feel okay. I do what I have to do to get by but I feel disgusted with myself for pouring alcohol in soda bottles to function.<efe> <es>It's only getting worse and I'm only getting more tired.<ee> <efs>I feel like I'm letting my daughter down that her mama is weak because I have to drink to go to her school functions and be there for her.<efe> I am a good mom despite everything, I teach her self love and do everything I can to help her not be like me. She is so bright and I encourage her even though I feel like I barely love myself and a hypocrite. <rs>My health insurance sucks and I want to get help but I don't know what to do and I don't want to get admitted involuntarily somewhere.<re> I know I can't keep this up I'm killing myself slowly and know the way I cope is unhealthy. <rs>I can't bring myself to tell people these things about me because I feel so ashamed but I want to break this vicious cycle.<re> Please someone tell me this isn't my life forever...
| 2 | 2 | 2 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 222 |
eqc217
|
What do you do on a bad mental health day?
|
0
|
help-seeking
| 1 | null |
a_human_experience
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
2020-01-18 04:52:02
|
selfhelp
|
<es>What do you do on a bad mental health day?<ee>
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
what made the mental health day bad
|
How did X make you feel?
|
having a bad mental health day
|
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you had a bad mental health day
| null | true | 100 |
eihsov
|
Recently diagnosed with moderate anxiety
|
0
|
help-seeking
| 1 |
Recently diagnosed with anxiety. I have had it on a really minor level for the past 6 months then had 4 panic attacks in the last two weeks and it suddenly got way way worse like I have hit a brick wall in my mind. I went from totally fine to feeling like I am losing my mind and myself. I start work again after 3 weeks off tomorow and I am really nervous about it because I feel like a different person and am worried I will panic in the office.
Does anyone have any advice on how I should move forward, what things have helped you guys out?
|
benwhelan92
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
2020-01-01 12:18:27
|
Anxiety
|
<es>Recently diagnosed with anxiety.<ee> <es>I have had it on a really minor level for the past 6 months then had 4 panic attacks in the last two weeks and it suddenly got way way worse like I have hit a brick wall in my mind.<ee> <efs>I went from totally fine to feeling like I am losing my mind and myself.<efe> <efs>I start work again after 3 weeks off tomorow and I am really nervous about it because I feel like a different person and am worried I will panic in the office. <efe> <rs>Does anyone have any advice on how I should move forward, what things have helped you guys out?<re>
| 2 | 2 | 2 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 222 |
enu6b3
|
Toronto AA
|
0
|
survey
| 1 |
In Toronto visiting a friend anybody know of a good meeting to hit in the area I figure somebody in here must be a Torontonian
|
Diesel_056
| 1 | 0 | 3 |
2020-01-12 21:55:58
|
alcoholicsanonymous
|
<rs>In Toronto visiting a friend anybody know of a good meeting to hit in the area I figure somebody in here must be a Torontonian<re>
| 0 | 0 | 2 |
What happened that you want X ?
|
you attend a AA meeting
|
Why are you wanting X ?
|
a AA meeting
| null | null | null | true | 2 |
ek3cp0
|
Having a hard time with motivation because I have no life to be sober for anyway
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 1 |
When I’m sober I just end up with huge swaths of free time where I overthink and have nothing to really look forward to most weekends or after work because I don’t have many friends and am seemingly bored by everything (except reading, but there’s only so long that lasts). A lot of people get sober for a significant other or their kids but what do you get sober for when you’re 36, isolated as hell, and don’t have either or really anything to look forward to?
My sole motivation (for now) is that I’m tired of being sick, but I’m worried that long term, that’s going to be overridden by me tired of being sober and alone with nothing to look forward to and far too much time to think myself into a depression.
|
LadyIntr0vert
| 3 | 0 | 20 |
2020-01-04 22:09:11
|
OpiatesRecovery
|
<es>When I’m sober I just end up with huge swaths of free time where I overthink and have nothing to really look forward to most weekends or after work because I don’t have many friends and am seemingly bored by everything (except reading, but there’s only so long that lasts).<ee> <rs>A lot of people get sober for a significant other or their kids but what do you get sober for when you’re 36, isolated as hell, and don’t have either or really anything to look forward to? <re> <efs>My sole motivation (for now) is that I’m tired of being sick, but I’m worried that long term, that’s going to be overridden by me tired of being sober and alone with nothing to look forward to and far too much time to think myself into a depression.<efe>
| 2 | 2 | 2 | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 222 |
ejbvq3
|
TW: suicide. How do I tell a therapist I'm having suicidal thoughts without getting committed?
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 1 |
I'm having suicidal thoughts. Usually for two reasons: 1) comforting myself with the suicide option if everything goes to shit, or 2) to escape my anxiety over making mistakes, doing shameful things, my job, etc. It's not serious intention, but something that I can't talk about because of scaring the people in my life.
When I was 15, I shared it and was placed on inpatient suicide watch for a week. Also wasn't going to kill myself. Just said that I was impulsive and that worried the therapists. To be fair, it was an inpatient facility whereas I thought it was just another round of therapy.
I'm 27 now and seeing a new therapist next week. How do I get these thoughts out without being committed. I'm seriously thinking of saying "a friend of a friend is feeling..." and winking at him.
|
sorrynotpoly
| 27 | 0 | 36 |
2020-01-03 07:03:36
|
getting_over_it
|
<es>I'm having suicidal thoughts.<ee> <es>Usually for two reasons: 1) comforting myself with the suicide option if everything goes to shit, or 2) to escape my anxiety over making mistakes, doing shameful things, my job, etc.<ee> <es>It's not serious intention, but something that I can't talk about because of scaring the people in my life.<ee> When I was 15, I shared it and was placed on inpatient suicide watch for a week. Also wasn't going to kill myself. Just said that I was impulsive and that worried the therapists. To be fair, it was an inpatient facility whereas I thought it was just another round of therapy. <rs>I'm 27 now and seeing a new therapist next week.<re> <rs>How do I get these thoughts out without being committed.<re> <es>I'm seriously thinking of saying "a friend of a friend is feeling..." and winking at him.<ee>
| 2 | 1 | 2 | null | null |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
the emotions you experienced while holding back these thoughts
| null | null | null | true | 212 |
eiogpr
|
Wanted: Online Friends.
|
0
|
survey
| 1 |
Hi guys I'm just hoping to be able to talk to people who can relate in dealing with social anxiety. It would feel nice knowing I can talk to someone who shares the same problem. (:
|
sadsadpotatogirl
| 1 | 0 | 11 |
2020-01-01 21:57:26
|
socialanxiety
|
<rs>Hi guys I'm just hoping to be able to talk to people who can relate in dealing with social anxiety.<re> <rs>It would feel nice knowing I can talk to someone who shares the same problem. (:<re>
| 0 | 0 | 2 |
What happened that you want X ?
|
talk to people having social anxiety
|
Why are you wanting X ?
|
someone who can relate to your social anxiety
| null | null | null | true | 2 |
ej7x3v
|
The main reason is how much I hate my body
|
1a
|
rant
| 1 | null |
todorokie
| 7 | 0 | 5 |
2020-01-03 01:28:10
|
sad
|
<efs>The main reason is how much I hate my body.<efe> nan
| 0 | 1 | 0 |
What made you feel X ?
|
hate towards your body
|
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
how you feel about your body
|
What can help you overcome X ?
|
this body image insecurity
|
title
| true | 10 |
epvfq6
|
I did it!
|
0
|
chitchat
| 1 |
I finally racked up enough courage to go to a meeting and it was definitely worth it!
Receiving my first Token/Chip was an amazing feeling !
|
BiigBeaux
| 1 | 0 | 12 |
2020-01-17 04:32:12
|
alcoholicsanonymous
|
I finally racked up enough courage to go to a meeting and it was definitely worth it! Receiving my first Token/Chip was an amazing feeling !
| 0 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
positive
| true | 0 |
ei95yg
|
The trauma and me the bully?
|
1b
|
rant
| 1 |
I don't know if this is related to ptsd, but I've been damn bullied when I was young. It's been good, more than 5 if not 6 years but the person still seems to keep an eye on me. Well, not in the real life but on the internet. I'm scared to even use my real name on the internet or even disclose the location I'm in, I wouldn't do it even if the person wouldn't be here, but yeah.. I don't know how to cope with, I'm very scared, I'm not a popular but I work in a big company and I'm scared of them writing some article about me, that would include my name and the people would find me again.
I don't know what to do, I might have to change my name. Such stressful shit I live in.
|
Acrobatic-Comparison
| 1 | 0 | 2 |
2019-12-31 21:32:07
|
ptsd
|
I don't know if this is related to ptsd, but I've been damn bullied when I was young. It's been good, more than 5 if not 6 years but the person still seems to keep an eye on me. Well, not in the real life but on the internet. I'm scared to even use my real name on the internet or even disclose the location I'm in, I wouldn't do it even if the person wouldn't be here, but yeah.. I don't know how to cope with, I'm very scared, I'm not a popular but I work in a big company and I'm scared of them writing some article about me, that would include my name and the people would find me again. I don't know what to do, I might have to change my name. Such stressful shit I live in.
| 0 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
repeat
| true | 0 |
emyvxv
|
I was raped by a “friend.”
|
1b
|
help-seeking
| 2 |
I’ve only talked about this with a few people, it’s hard to actually make the word “rape” come out of my mouth, like I’m almost embarrassed of it. A few years ago when I was still going to therapy (I really need to start going again) I had this new therapist. I tried to tell her about it, but I don’t think she understood what I meant by “my friend took advantage of me” because all she said was “that sucks when that happens.” I didn’t go anymore after that because I felt discouraged. But I need to tell someone the full story because I think about it too much and it isn’t healthy.
He’s the twin of one of my actual friends. We’d hooked up a couple times before, but as everyone SHOULD know, that isn’t a guarantee that it will happen every time, and it doesn’t give a person a free pass to do whatever, whenever. I had just moved into a new apartment, and didn’t want to be alone on the first night. I invited my “friend” over to stay the night. He came over and almost immediately wanted to get dirty. I told him I wasn’t in the mood, but maybe after some beer. He was persistent though. He asked, “will you suck my dick then?” I said again that I wasn’t in the mood, but maybe later. He replied, “I’ll just have to fuck you then.” At that moment I knew he wasn’t going to take “no” as an acceptable answer. I didn’t say anything, I just let it happen, I gave up. I really don’t remember much, it felt so unreal. He pulled down my pants and started. His belt was banging against the metal bed frame I had, and my new neighbor’s response to that was banging on their ceiling to get us to be quiet. I started crying. Sorry me being raped is irritating you. He didn’t notice I was crying, didn’t even notice I wasn’t moving. He finished and we went to get beer. I said nothing about it until the next day. I texted him, “I feel kind of uncomfortable with what happened, I told you I didn’t want to have sex.” He replies saying that I should have said before he came over that I wasn’t interested in that. Okay, so if I had said I didn’t want to get intimate like that, would he not have bothered coming over? I told his brother what happened a few months later, even though I felt crappy about it. The brother is a great guy, and I felt shitty telling him that. The guy that raped me is/was in my main friend group. After what happened to me was passed around (I gave my friend permission to tell people, I didn’t want it happening to anyone else) MOST of my friends cut him out. However, my lovely friend who I adore but she doesn’t have the best judgement, invited him to her baby shower, which I subsequently did not go to. I’m still a bit angry at her for it, but I never talked to her about it. It is possible that she didn’t even invite him because at the time my then-pregnant friend lived with a few of my rapist’s friends. It’s awful because I know people are still hanging around him, so every time I go to a party or a house show I’m on edge, searching for him in the mass of people. I know a lot of show houses have banned him because of what happened to me but obviously it’s hard to monitor that when there are so many people. There have been three instances where I thought I saw him and had panic attacks. I wish he would move so I can live my life without fear again. I have no clue what he would do/say to me if he saw me. I’m afraid, and I don’t want to be.
I’m posting this to this sub instead of r/rape because I honestly just want someone to tell me that I am heard, and what happened to me wasn’t my fault. I need that reinforcement, because there’s that shitty part of me that says, “if you hadn’t invited him over, that never would have happened.”
|
algernaaan
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
2020-01-10 23:09:45
|
rapecounseling
|
<es>I’ve only talked about this with a few people, it’s hard to actually make the word “rape” come out of my mouth, like I’m almost embarrassed of it.<ee> <es>A few years ago when I was still going to therapy (I really need to start going again) I had this new therapist.<ee> <es>I tried to tell her about it, but I don’t think she understood what I meant by “my friend took advantage of me” because all she said was “that sucks when that happens.”<ee> <efs>I didn’t go anymore after that because I felt discouraged.<efe> <rs>But I need to tell someone the full story because I think about it too much and it isn’t healthy.<re> <es>He’s the twin of one of my actual friends.<ee> <es>We’d hooked up a couple times before, but as everyone SHOULD know, that isn’t a guarantee that it will happen every time, and it doesn’t give a person a free pass to do whatever, whenever.<ee> <es>I had just moved into a new apartment, and didn’t want to be alone on the first night.<ee> <es>I invited my “friend” over to stay the night.<ee> <es>He came over and almost immediately wanted to get dirty.<ee> <es>I told him I wasn’t in the mood, but maybe after some beer. <ee><es>He was persistent though.<ee> <es>He asked, “will you suck my dick then?”<ee> <es>I said again that I wasn’t in the mood, but maybe later.<ee> <es>He replied, “I’ll just have to fuck you then.”<ee> <es>At that moment I knew he wasn’t going to take “no” as an acceptable answer.<ee> <es>I didn’t say anything, I just let it happen, I gave up.<ee> <efs>I really don’t remember much, it felt so unreal.<efe> <es>He pulled down my pants and started.<ee> <es>His belt was banging against the metal bed frame I had, and my new neighbor’s response to that was banging on their ceiling to get us to be quiet.<ee> <efs>I started crying.<efe> <es>Sorry me being raped is irritating you.<ee> <es>He didn’t notice I was crying, didn’t even notice I wasn’t moving.<ee> <es>He finished and we went to get beer.<ee> <es>I said nothing about it until the next day.<ee> <es>I texted him, “I feel kind of uncomfortable with what happened, I told you I didn’t want to have sex.”<ee> <es>He replies saying that I should have said before he came over that I wasn’t interested in that.<ee> <es>Okay, so if I had said I didn’t want to get intimate like that, would he not have bothered coming over?<ee> <es>I told his brother what happened a few months later, even though I felt crappy about it.<ee> <efs>The brother is a great guy, and I felt shitty telling him that.<efe> <es>The guy that raped me is/was in my main friend group.<ee> <es>After what happened to me was passed around (I gave my friend permission to tell people, I didn’t want it happening to anyone else) MOST of my friends cut him out.<ee> <es>However, my lovely friend who I adore but she doesn’t have the best judgement, invited him to her baby shower, which I subsequently did not go to.<ee> <efs>I’m still a bit angry at her for it, but I never talked to her about it. <efe><es>It is possible that she didn’t even invite him because at the time my then-pregnant friend lived with a few of my rapist’s friends.<ee> <efs>It’s awful because I know people are still hanging around him, so every time I go to a party or a house show I’m on edge, searching for him in the mass of people.<efe> <es>I know a lot of show houses have banned him because of what happened to me but obviously it’s hard to monitor that when there are so many people.<ee> <es>There have been three instances where I thought I saw him and had panic attacks.<ee> <rs>I wish he would move so I can live my life without fear again.<re> <es>I have no clue what he would do/say to me if he saw me.<ee> <efs>I’m afraid, and I don’t want to be.<efe> <rs>I’m posting this to this sub instead of r/rape because I honestly just want someone to tell me that I am heard, and what happened to me wasn’t my fault.<re> <rs>I need that reinforcement, because there’s that shitty part of me that says, “if you hadn’t invited him over, that never would have happened.”<re>
| 2 | 2 | 2 | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 222 |
ejt7r4
|
...
|
1a
|
rant
| 1 |
My crush doesn't like me, and honestly... I feel like I deserve it. ):
|
PlumBunnyPeaches
| 1 | 0 | 8 |
2020-01-04 06:51:17
|
sad
|
<es>My crush doesn't like me, and honestly...<ee> <efs>I feel like I deserve it.<efe> ):
| 1 | 1 | 0 |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
why your crush doesn't like you
|
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
why you feel you deserve not being liked by your crush
|
What do you need help with now that X?
|
your crush doesn't like you
| null | true | 110 |
ei6vgv
|
Progress
|
0
|
chitchat
| 2 |
This time I will not allow myself to revert back to destructive habits. From the negative self talk, limiting behaviors, drug and alcohol abuse to staying in relationships with people who take advantage, do not appreciate you, manipulate, lack patience, lack honesty and refuse to believe in the power of human potential. The power to CHANGE! I've made my choice and I'm committed. I'm committed to proving all of the beautiful naysayers throughout my life wrong. I'm committed to striving for optimal mental and physical health. I'm committed to finally getting my degree. I'm committed to finally discovering my true purpose and calling. I'm committed to establishing my own business and propelling my career. I'm committed to repairing and making amends with all institutions both sentient and non-sentient. I'm committed to reestablishing healthy friendships. I'm committed to becoming a better partner for my future love. I'm committed to the relentless pursuit of excellence. I've committed to myself. Listen, when you encounter people in your life who mislead you, distrust you, harm you physically and/or mentally, rip your heart out, spread rumors, underestimate you, sabotage and hold you as an emotional hostage understand that you are immensely valuable. You are not what others think and to be frank what others think of you is none of your business. Let them revel in their miserable opinions about you because when all is said and done the successful life that you cultivated through your relentless pursuit of personal development will sting them that much more. You are brilliant human potential. You are pure energy, beautifully vibrant and infinite. Stay focused. Commit to bettering yourself. This is a life long pursuit.
|
Redcat1886
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
2019-12-31 18:38:55
|
depression
|
<rs>This time I will not allow myself to revert back to destructive habits.<re> <es>From the negative self talk, limiting behaviors, drug and alcohol abuse to staying in relationships with people who take advantage, do not appreciate you, manipulate, lack patience, lack honesty and refuse to believe in the power of human potential.<ee> The power to CHANGE! <rs>I've made my choice and I'm committed.<re> <rs>I'm committed to proving all of the beautiful naysayers throughout my life wrong.<re> <rs>I'm committed to striving for optimal mental and physical health. I'm committed to finally getting my degree.<re> <rs>I'm committed to finally discovering my true purpose and calling.<re> <rs>I'm committed to establishing my own business and propelling my career.<re> <rs>I'm committed to repairing and making amends with all institutions both sentient and non-sentient.<re> <rs>I'm committed to reestablishing healthy friendships.<re> <rs>I'm committed to becoming a better partner for my future love.<re> <rs>I'm committed to the relentless pursuit of excellence.<re> <rs>I've committed to myself.<re> Listen, when you encounter people in your life who mislead you, distrust you, harm you physically and/or mentally, rip your heart out, spread rumors, underestimate you, sabotage and hold you as an emotional hostage understand that you are immensely valuable. You are not what others think and to be frank what others think of you is none of your business. Let them revel in their miserable opinions about you because when all is said and done the successful life that you cultivated through your relentless pursuit of personal development will sting them that much more. You are brilliant human potential. You are pure energy, beautifully vibrant and infinite. Stay focused. Commit to bettering yourself. This is a life long pursuit.
| 1 | 0 | 2 |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
your destructive habits
|
How did X make you feel?
|
your old habits
| null | null | null | true | 102 |
ellbxr
|
I'm feeling bad, sad and neckbeard.
|
1a
|
rant
| 2 |
Bad: I'm having some sharp pain (idk how to describe it) in my head and torso i had a nosebleed today, my hair is falling from the follicles and my hands are like dry and have gray stains, I think I'm becoming myopic because I'm struggling to recognize objects at 5 meters or so.
I'm becoming skinnier instead of gaining muscle despite working out regularly, and my blood is almost pink and doesn't have any smell.
I'm scared of becoming hypochondriac or having a real, disease my family doesn't have insurance and I'm just 16.
Sad: I'm 16 my childhood ended years ago and I need to go to work.
I don't have friends.
My family doesn't have much money.
I leave school due to stress and anxiety years ago.
My mom and dad doesn't seem happy with each other, in fact they have discussions once a week.
I'm not happy with my body, in don't think I'm ugly, I'm pretty average but I just don't like my skin and my shape, like my feet are big and my hands are small and smooth in the palm but the rest looks like the hands of a 49yr old man, I have a lot of thick body hair that I don't want and I my moustache is growing already.
I have problems to sleep and I have gastritis even though I do not eat that much spicy food.
And finally, I feel neckbeard because: I'm a developing coomer, I masturbate one time a day and I have and armpit and thighs fetish.
my favorite series and movies are animes (Jojo's and Redline).
And I feel like the stereotypical creepy neckbeard that desperately needs a girlfriend because one day my sister's friend group invited me to watch Cats at the cinema and one of the girls named Naomy hugged me and I felt attracted to her smell and now I fantasize with smell her hair and her body with and without clothes. like bruh, what the fuck is wrong with me.
Apology for bad english, I'm at house eating dorito. Maybe I'm going to cross post this on sad cringe because I think this is cringey as hell, anyways I just wanted to express my self with someone and I don't want attention, awards or someone to say "oh poor boi cmere" I just one someone to hear(read) me. Good vibes 🤠🤘.
|
Happy_Crusader
| 1 | 0 | 3 |
2020-01-08 01:25:26
|
sad
|
Bad: I'm having some sharp pain (idk how to describe it) in my head and torso i had a nosebleed today, my hair is falling from the follicles and my hands are like dry and have gray stains, I think I'm becoming myopic because I'm struggling to recognize objects at 5 meters or so. I'm becoming skinnier instead of gaining muscle despite working out regularly, and my blood is almost pink and doesn't have any smell. I'm scared of becoming hypochondriac or having a real, disease my family doesn't have insurance and I'm just 16. Sad: I'm 16 my childhood ended years ago and I need to go to work. I don't have friends. My family doesn't have much money. I leave school due to stress and anxiety years ago. My mom and dad doesn't seem happy with each other, in fact they have discussions once a week. I'm not happy with my body, in don't think I'm ugly, I'm pretty average but I just don't like my skin and my shape, like my feet are big and my hands are small and smooth in the palm but the rest looks like the hands of a 49yr old man, I have a lot of thick body hair that I don't want and I my moustache is growing already. I have problems to sleep and I have gastritis even though I do not eat that much spicy food. And finally, I feel neckbeard because: I'm a developing coomer, I masturbate one time a day and I have and armpit and thighs fetish. my favorite series and movies are animes (Jojo's and Redline). And I feel like the stereotypical creepy neckbeard that desperately needs a girlfriend because one day my sister's friend group invited me to watch Cats at the cinema and one of the girls named Naomy hugged me and I felt attracted to her smell and now I fantasize with smell her hair and her body with and without clothes. like bruh, what the fuck is wrong with me. Apology for bad english, I'm at house eating dorito. Maybe I'm going to cross post this on sad cringe because I think this is cringey as hell, anyways I just wanted to express my self with someone and I don't want attention, awards or someone to say "oh poor boi cmere" I just one someone to hear(read) me. Good vibes 🤠🤘.
| 2 | 2 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
|
your you have weird symptons
| null | true | 220 |
ejadfh
|
"Just ask him out"
|
0
|
rant
| 1 |
I like a boyo and a talk about him a lot to my friends. From what they hear from me, they think he might like me too. They also tell me that I need to confess soon because I will not stop talking about him lol. But I don't want what everyone doesn't want: rejection and awkwardness.
We only have 10 days left in the one class we have together. I have his number, but I want to tell him before those 10 days are up. If I don't, I'll probably have my brother tell him or something idk.
|
Bugbran
| 3 | 0 | 4 |
2020-01-03 04:44:00
|
socialanxiety
|
I like a boyo and a talk about him a lot to my friends. From what they hear from me, they think he might like me too. They also tell me that I need to confess soon because I will not stop talking about him lol. But I don't want what everyone doesn't want: rejection and awkwardness. We only have 10 days left in the one class we have together. I have his number, but I want to tell him before those 10 days are up. If I don't, I'll probably have my brother tell him or something idk.
| 0 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
random
| true | 0 |
eoz8ib
|
How to get motivated in life and find joy
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 1 |
I’ve been struggling these past months to get myself motivated to do anything. Meeting up with friends seems more like a chore and I feel exhausted afterwards, I work about two to three days a week , which covers the bills and let’s me safe money. I do have a few hobbies such as powerlifting, sewing and reading. However, I have a hard time getting myself to start a new sewing project, but when I’m at it I can’t stop and I enjoy the process. These days I’ve been just living in the day, was a lot on my laptop wasting time and I don’t see the big picture of life anymore ..
Anyone feeling the same or has some advice?
|
yourGigii
| 1 | 0 | 26 |
2020-01-15 07:33:11
|
selfhelp
|
<es>I’ve been struggling these past months to get myself motivated to do anything.<ee> <efs>Meeting up with friends seems more like a chore and I feel exhausted afterwards, I work about two to three days a week , which covers the bills and let’s me safe money.<efe> <es>I do have a few hobbies such as powerlifting, sewing and reading.<ee> <es>However, I have a hard time getting myself to start a new sewing project, but when I’m at it I can’t stop and I enjoy the process.<ee> <es>These days I’ve been just living in the day, was a lot on my laptop wasting time and I don’t see the big picture of life anymore .. <ee> <rs>Anyone feeling the same or has some advice?<re>
| 2 | 1 | 2 | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 212 |
eitk6t
|
Lol, I think I’m a winner again and I’m thinking of drugs and cheating
|
1a
|
rant
| 2 |
I was on my knees for god two weeks ago, throw out my meds and suffered like never before.
Now I am back on track. Back at the gym (despite destroying my bicep / tearing it) and now have the temptation to
1. Call a side girl
2. So drugs to not feel bad about being with a so called side girl
3. Tell myself it’s a good excuse because I won’t do number two.
Well not today folks. I’m watching a shitty sitcom and going to sleep.
|
xxCaptainCoolxx
| 1 | 0 | 4 |
2020-01-02 04:52:53
|
addiction
|
<es>I was on my knees for god two weeks ago, throw out my meds and suffered like never before. <ee> <efs>Now I am back on track.<efe> <efs>Back at the gym (despite destroying my bicep / tearing it) and now have the temptation to<efe> <efs>1. Call a side girl<efe> <efs>2. So drugs to not feel bad about being with a so called side girl <efe> 3. Tell myself it’s a good excuse because I won’t do number two. Well not today folks. I’m watching a shitty sitcom and going to sleep.
| 1 | 2 | 0 |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
what caused you to suffer
| null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you feel like doing drugs
| null | true | 120 |
eq5mu8
|
I did it. I’m free from Oxy
|
1a
|
chitchat
| 1 |
Hey everyone. I’m new to this sub reddit. I was previously active on the other various opiate subs.
I was prescribed codeine following surgery and continued to use this for many months after when I didn’t need it. Once I was not getting high from this anymore I then progressed to a stronger opiate.
I then was addicted to Oxycodone which was very readily available to me without needing to purchase as a family member is prescribed it for breakthrough pain but does not take it as they are also prescribed a stronger opiate.
I began stealing the oxy, which of course made me feel guilty, but not awful as I knew I was not taking pain relief from somebody and leaving them in pain.
I have reduced from 120mg of Oxycodone a day to now nothing at home, whilst working full time.
I’m now 4 days clean. It was hard but I’m finally free. I know the hard work continues with recovery, but I know now why everyone says it’s great to be free.
|
Hugsfordrugsuk
| 1 | 0 | 29 |
2020-01-17 20:05:57
|
OpiatesRecovery
|
Hey everyone. I’m new to this sub reddit. I was previously active on the other various opiate subs. <es>I was prescribed codeine following surgery and continued to use this for many months after when I didn’t need it.<ee> <es>Once I was not getting high from this anymore I then progressed to a stronger opiate. <ee> <es>I then was addicted to Oxycodone which was very readily available to me without needing to purchase as a family member is prescribed it for breakthrough pain but does not take it as they are also prescribed a stronger opiate.<ee> <es>I began stealing the oxy.<ee> <efs>which of course made me feel guilty, but not awful as I knew I was not taking pain relief from somebody and leaving them in pain. <efe> <es>I have reduced from 120mg of Oxycodone a day to now nothing at home, whilst working full time. <ee> <es>I’m now 4 days clean.<ee> <es>It was hard but I’m finally free. <ee> <es>I know the hard work continues with recovery, but I know now why everyone says it’s great to be free.<ee>
| 2 | 0 | 0 | null | null |
How did X make you feel?
|
being off oxycodone
|
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you are trying to be clean from oxycodone
| null | true | 200 |
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