sub_id
string | title
string | Criticism
string | Intent
string | Readability
int64 | body
string | author
string | score
int64 | awards
int64 | numComms
int64 | created
string | subreddit
string | annotated_post_body
string | ES
int64 | EFS
int64 | RS
int64 | EMaskingQ
string | EMask
string | EFSMaskingQ
string | EFSMask
string | RMaskingQ
string | RMask
string | Comments
string | Annotated
bool | label_combination
int64 |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
eiiyit
|
Do i have anxiety?
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 1 |
Do you guys cheeks ever tingle or feel numb but not numb to where you cant feel nothing just numb to where it feels weird. I also cant sleep like i use too i always wake up worried. Do i have a anxiety problem.
|
mr5onit
| 1 | 0 | 1 |
2020-01-01 14:38:56
|
Anxiety
|
<efs>Do you guys cheeks ever tingle or feel numb but not numb to where you cant feel nothing just numb to where it feels weird.<efe> <es>I also cant sleep like i use too i always wake up worried.<ee> <rs>Do i have a anxiety problem.<re>
| 1 | 2 | 2 |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
why you wake up worried
| null | null | null | null | null | true | 122 |
eiigut
|
Advice needed! Somebody is trying to destroy my reputation.
|
1b
|
help-seeking
| 2 |
Hi everybody, please don’t take this the wrong way. I don’t have BPD, but I’m seeking advice on how to deal with somebody who’s been diagnosed and has developed a real problem with me.
SO... I slept with somebody a few times. It wasn’t a relationship, and I made it clear from the outset that I never wanted one. She developed a bit of an obsession, sleeping wearing my t-shirt every night, naming her dildo after me, telling her friends, parents and grandparents that we were dating, showering me with gifts and writing me poems. I probably told her ten times that I didn’t want to be in a relationship. Every time I told her, her heart broke like it was the first time I told her. Tears, questions etc., yet the next day she was back in love with me.
Eventually the message sank in and she became incredibly bitter and desperate for revenge, writing me long hate messages, telling anybody who’d listen that I was an evil person whose been gaslighting her for months, that I’m a person who lies to girls to sleep with them and everything else under the sun. I blocked her on social media two months ago and she hasn’t let up. Can anybody suggest how I can deal with this situation?
—Side note, a mutual friend of ours (T) worked out that this girl had been logged into T’s Facebook account on her laptop for weeks, reading through T’s and my conversations. There’s nothing bad, but the stalkerish nature of this whole situation has left me feeling really uncomfortable. Is this normal for BPD?
|
EatSleepPubRepeat
| 1 | 0 | 6 |
2020-01-01 13:44:37
|
BPD
|
Hi everybody, please don’t take this the wrong way. <es>I don’t have BPD, but I’m seeking advice on how to deal with somebody who’s been diagnosed and has developed a real problem with me. <ee> <es>SO... I slept with somebody a few times.<ee> <es>It wasn’t a relationship, and I made it clear from the outset that I never wanted one.<ee> <es>She developed a bit of an obsession, sleeping wearing my t-shirt every night, naming her dildo after me, telling her friends, parents and grandparents that we were dating, showering me with gifts and writing me poems.<ee> <es>I probably told her ten times that I didn’t want to be in a relationship.<ee> <es>Every time I told her, her heart broke like it was the first time I told her.<ee> <es>Tears, questions etc., yet the next day she was back in love with me. <ee> <es>Eventually the message sank in and she became incredibly bitter and desperate for revenge, writing me long hate messages, telling anybody who’d listen that I was an evil person whose been gaslighting her for months, that I’m a person who lies to girls to sleep with them and everything else under the sun.<ee> <es>I blocked her on social media two months ago and she hasn’t let up.<ee> <rs>Can anybody suggest how I can deal with this situation? <re> <es>—Side note, a mutual friend of ours (T) worked out that this girl had been logged into T’s Facebook account on her laptop for weeks, reading through T’s and my conversations.<ee> <efs>There’s nothing bad, but the stalkerish nature of this whole situation has left me feeling really uncomfortable.<efe> <rs>Is this normal for BPD?<re>
| 2 | 2 | 2 | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 222 |
eit807
|
Does anyone else find it incredibly challenging to focus without being slightly distracted?
|
1a
|
survey
| 2 |
I'm honestly not sure whether or not this is an ADHD symptom or something else since I have other diagnoses as well.
I feel like my racing thoughts are far more distracting than any other distraction could be. It is in both professional and social situations. Any time I need to pay attention, I need to be distracted.
Silence feels like my racing thoughts are being handed a megaphone to shout at me with. So I actually find silence to be extremely loud and uncomfortable to deal with in any situation at all. I can't even sleep in silence. It is far too loud.
White walls or too much blank space on walls is almost as bad as silence. I find it incredibly distracting and feel the need to avoid having much white space on my walls at home. I describe my decorating style as "a colorful explosion of organized chaos." There is hardly any open space on the walls anywhere. White walls just make me cringe and I can't help but stare at them and start spacing out.
Sorry for the brief sidetrack there...
I feel like I absolutely can't focus worth a damn unless I am slightly distracted. If I try to focus without having a good distraction, it's like my brain just takes over and I can't pay attention to anything at all. I NEED to be distracted or else I can't focus.
Does anyone else find it harder to focus without being slightly distracted? Like as in being distracted is helpful for focusing?
Or am I just super weird?
|
FrogginBullfish_
| 1 | 0 | 1 |
2020-01-02 04:22:34
|
ADHD
|
<es>I'm honestly not sure whether or not this is an ADHD symptom or something else since I have other diagnoses as well.<ee> <efs>I feel like my racing thoughts are far more distracting than any other distraction could be.<efe> <es>It is in both professional and social situations.<ee> <es>Any time I need to pay attention, I need to be distracted.<ee> <efs>Silence feels like my racing thoughts are being handed a megaphone to shout at me with.<efe> <efs>So I actually find silence to be extremely loud and uncomfortable to deal with in any situation at all.<efe> <es>I can't even sleep in silence.<ee> <es>It is far too loud.<ee> <es>White walls or too much blank space on walls is almost as bad as silence.<ee> <es>I find it incredibly distracting and feel the need to avoid having much white space on my walls at home.<ee> <es>I describe my decorating style as "a colorful explosion of organized chaos."<ee> <es>There is hardly any open space on the walls anywhere.<ee> <efs>White walls just make me cringe and I can't help but stare at them and start spacing out.<efe> Sorry for the brief sidetrack there... <efs>I feel like I absolutely can't focus worth a damn unless I am slightly distracted.<efe> <es>If I try to focus without having a good distraction, it's like my brain just takes over and I can't pay attention to anything at all.<ee> <es>I NEED to be distracted or else I can't focus.<ee> <rs>Does anyone else find it harder to focus without being slightly distracted?<re> <rs>Like as in being distracted is helpful for focusing?<re> <rs>Or am I just super weird?<re>
| 2 | 2 | 2 | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 222 |
ejq0cl
|
One word we say, we know we aren't FINE
|
0
|
rant
| 1 | null |
WildDJ23
| 14 | 0 | 2 |
2020-01-04 02:17:03
|
sad
| null | 0 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
random
| true | 0 |
eicbe2
|
I feel like I have Heart Problems even tho my doctor had checked me out and everything is fine. I want help.
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 2 |
First off, I hope you have a Happy New Year. So here goes my story, One day I had a random panic attack and I haven't been the same since. I started feeling like I have every sort of serious medical problem as soon as I turned 14. Then, I started seeing my doctor and he had checked me out, I WAS HEALTHY. One day walking home I had a sudden fast heart rate and almost passed out. I ran home and we called 911. I had an appoitment with a cardiologist, and I was diagnosed with S.V.T ( not life-threatening and easily cured through very simple surgery). But that didn't reassure me for long, after a week I started having anxiety with my heart. Now every fucking day of my life I feel like I will have a heart attack. If my heart feels fine, a simple stomach ace makes me feel like I have every major illness in the world. My life has become torture. I have been diagnosed with Illness Anxiety Disorder. But even that doesn't reassure me cause my symptoms feel real. Like how can it be in my head if I feel a problem? Anyways, I had my parents that I could talk to because I didn't want to tell my friends afraid of them seeing me as a freak or something like that. But now they just get mad at me when I ask for simple reassurance. They now have turned my issue into a punishment. They will say stuff like "I won't get you that until you feel better", and they will also say stuff like "just stop thinking about it" equivalent of telling a depressed person to "stop being sad," I don't want to be seen as a typical depressed 14yr old because this is a major issue with me. Also, my therapist is of no help. She tells me basic shit like oh count the lights in your room when you feel scared. I just want answers from people who may have experienced this. I want to know if it is possible to get better. Please, I am desperate. Like I said my parents are no help. And I don't want to ruin my image in front of my friends (and I do have good friends), I just feel like they won't see me as the same person. And also sorry if this has grammatical errors cause this is my 3rd time writing this.
|
DogBreadLemonade
| 1 | 0 | 2 |
2020-01-01 01:50:47
|
Anxiety
|
First off, I hope you have a Happy New Year. <es>So here goes my story, One day I had a random panic attack and I haven't been the same since.<ee> <efs>I started feeling like I have every sort of serious medical problem as soon as I turned 14.<efe> <es>Then, I started seeing my doctor and he had checked me out, I WAS HEALTHY.<ee> <es>One day walking home I had a sudden fast heart rate and almost passed out.<ee> <es>I ran home and we called 911.<ee> <es>I had an appoitment with a cardiologist, and I was diagnosed with S.V.T ( not life-threatening and easily cured through very simple surgery).<ee> <efs>But that didn't reassure me for long, after a week I started having anxiety with my heart.<efe> <efs>Now every fucking day of my life I feel like I will have a heart attack.<efe> <efs>If my heart feels fine, a simple stomach ace makes me feel like I have every major illness in the world.<efe> <efs>My life has become torture.<efe> <es>I have been diagnosed with Illness Anxiety Disorder.<ee> <efs>But even that doesn't reassure me cause my symptoms feel real.<efe> Like how can it be in my head if I feel a problem? <es>Anyways, I had my parents that I could talk to because I didn't want to tell my friends afraid of them seeing me as a freak or something like that.<ee> <es>But now they just get mad at me when I ask for simple reassurance.<ee> <es>They now have turned my issue into a punishment.<ee> <es>They will say stuff like "I won't get you that until you feel better", and they will also say stuff like "just stop thinking about it" equivalent of telling a depressed person to "stop being sad," I don't want to be seen as a typical depressed 14yr old because this is a major issue with me.<ee> <es>Also, my therapist is of no help.<ee> <es>She tells me basic shit like oh count the lights in your room when you feel scared.<ee> <rs>I just want answers from people who may have experienced this.<re> <rs>I want to know if it is possible to get better.<re> <efs>Please, I am desperate.<efe> <es>Like I said my parents are no help.<ee> <rs>And I don't want to ruin my image in front of my friends (and I do have good friends), I just feel like they won't see me as the same person.<re> And also sorry if this has grammatical errors cause this is my 3rd time writing this.
| 2 | 2 | 2 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 222 |
ei76kd
|
No one is alone on days like these. Happy NY
|
0
|
chitchat
| 4 |
A message from me and others for whoever wants to hear it, addicts and the affected alike, we stand strong together and are as worthy of happiness as each other. Every single one of you is worth the world, and everyone struggles to believe it sometimes. As I sit alone on new years eve with not much to drown my sorrows, I hope that you are all doing alright.
----------------------------
It starts as some fun hit
Something to pass the time
You could but you don't quit
It seems to all be fine
Now you've slid into your pit
Not one today, but nine
Don't really give a shit
Is that really such a crime
But your eyes start to bleed
Swallow it whole and watch
It is my pill that feeds
And unties my body's knots
In my dirt I plant my seed
My palms and forehead hot
This unrelenting greed
Does cause my soul to rot
But I was not the first
I was lucky, really, to be
Not even one of the worst
My brothers and sisters, we
Were born already cursed
It takes some time to see
When our brains begin to burst
We want help, you and me
We watch and we sympathise
The afflicted still in pain
Dreaming self destructive lies
And of falling ahead a train
So let us hear your cries
Face your storm and feel your rain
It's not easy, but it is wise
Nothing to lose, and all to gain
Oscar
|
LaYrreb
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
2019-12-31 19:01:23
|
addiction
|
A message from me and others for whoever wants to hear it, addicts and the affected alike, we stand strong together and are as worthy of happiness as each other. Every single one of you is worth the world, and everyone struggles to believe it sometimes. As I sit alone on new years eve with not much to drown my sorrows, I hope that you are all doing alright. ---------------------------- It starts as some fun hit Something to pass the time You could but you don't quit It seems to all be fine Now you've slid into your pit Not one today, but nine Don't really give a shit Is that really such a crime But your eyes start to bleed Swallow it whole and watch It is my pill that feeds And unties my body's knots In my dirt I plant my seed My palms and forehead hot This unrelenting greed Does cause my soul to rot But I was not the first I was lucky, really, to be Not even one of the worst My brothers and sisters, we Were born already cursed It takes some time to see When our brains begin to burst We want help, you and me We watch and we sympathise The afflicted still in pain Dreaming self destructive lies And of falling ahead a train So let us hear your cries Face your storm and feel your rain It's not easy, but it is wise Nothing to lose, and all to gain Oscar
| 0 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
random
| true | 0 |
el2gkq
|
Addicted to 3 substances and gone cold turkey
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 1 |
Cannabis -6 days
Nicotine - 14 hours
Alcohol - 12 hours.
I'm feeling extremely unstable. Any advice on how to ease the uncomfiness of withdrawal from any of these wpuld be much appreciated. Tia
|
Broad-Leg
| 1 | 0 | 4 |
2020-01-06 23:35:43
|
addiction
|
<es>Addicted to 3 substances and gone cold turkey<ee> <es>Cannabis -6 days<ee> <es>Nicotine - 14 hours<ee> <es>Alcohol - 12 hours.<ee> <efs>I'm feeling extremely unstable.<efe> <rs>Any advice on how to ease the uncomfiness of withdrawal from any of these wpuld be much appreciated.<re> Tia
| 1 | 1 | 2 |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
why you were taking the drugs
|
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
your withdrawl symptoms
|
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
what would help you with the uneasiness
|
title
| true | 112 |
epen7j
|
Im late to school every day because of how this has fucked with my head.
|
1a
|
rant
| 2 |
I cant get to sleep because my head wont stop fucking racing and my mind wont shut up for a second to let me sleep. When i wake up in the morning, i dont have the will to get out of bed, its just not there anymore. I stay in bed in the mornings from 6 to around 10, im not on my phone, im not watching tv, im just fucking sitting there frozen no will to get up no will to try its so hard to get up. I get nightmares almost every night. They used to be just of the guys who did this to me, but now its about other people in my life that i trust, i had a nightmare that my stepdad raped me, it was the body of the guy who really raped me, but it was my step dads face, and friends from school have been showing up in my nightmares too, and strangers i see on the bus or anything else, if they remind me at all of the guys who did this to me, show up in the dreams. I used to be able to cope with all of this, but now its affecting my life to the point where im 2-3 hours late to school every day, and the voices wont shut up and i dont even know what theyre saying. Im losing my shit. I dont know what to do anymore. Baths used to be my safe space, i would lay down so that all my face but my nose and mouth are underwater, and just enjoy the short time i have where theres no thoughts, or memories, or voices, or flashbacks can bother me, but now i cant even be in silence for seconds before it starts up again. The only way ive been surving so far is by distracting myself, either by blasting music so loud i cant hear my own thoughts, or working myself so hard on the treadmill that i throwup, but im running out of distractions. Sorry for the rant.
|
actually_-_so-_-sad
| 1 | 0 | 9 |
2020-01-16 05:03:31
|
rapecounseling
|
<efs>I cant get to sleep because my head wont stop fucking racing and my mind wont shut up for a second to let me sleep.<efe> <efs>When i wake up in the morning, i dont have the will to get out of bed, its just not there anymore.<efe> <es>I stay in bed in the mornings from 6 to around 10, im not on my phone, im not watching tv, im just fucking sitting there frozen no will to get up no will to try its so hard to get up.<ee> <es>I get nightmares almost every night.<ee> <es>They used to be just of the guys who did this to me, but now its about other people in my life that i trust, i had a nightmare that my stepdad raped me, it was the body of the guy who really raped me, but it was my step dads face, and friends from school have been showing up in my nightmares too, and strangers i see on the bus or anything else, if they remind me at all of the guys who did this to me, show up in the dreams.<ee> <es>I used to be able to cope with all of this, but now its affecting my life to the point where im 2-3 hours late to school every day, and the voices wont shut up and i dont even know what theyre saying.<ee> <efs>Im losing my shit.<efe> <es>I dont know what to do anymore.<ee> <es>Baths used to be my safe space, i would lay down so that all my face but my nose and mouth are underwater, and just enjoy the short time i have where theres no thoughts, or memories, or voices, or flashbacks can bother me, but now i cant even be in silence for seconds before it starts up again.<ee> <es>The only way ive been surving so far is by distracting myself, either by blasting music so loud i cant hear my own thoughts, or working myself so hard on the treadmill that i throwup, but im running out of distractions.<ee> Sorry for the rant.
| 2 | 2 | 0 | null | null | null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you are unable to sleep properly
| null | true | 220 |
ekftlk
|
I figure if it’s real then it will find it’s way back...
|
0
|
rant
| 2 |
I been confused in the relationship before..I found my way back. How could I not have? I’m an imperfect human but I will not block my own blessings. You damn right I found my way back to what’s real.
It’s a tall glass of anxiety and I can’t spill a drop when it comes to if you’ll find your way back to me or not.. nothing and I mean absolutely nothing comes close in urgency. I believe what’s real doesn’t fade. You get to choose the life you want to live though. And I get to love you by supporting your choices even if it kills me from the inside out. Shit at least I got to love you up close for a little. I wish it coulda been forever. I’ll never forget or take for granted what we’ve shared. And no matter what pain it brings I will always have the heart to give it another try. I know what’s real and what is worth fighting for.
I sorry I wasn’t always what you deserved.
I hope you know..I hope you really know, how much I adore you. Forever.
|
mixedboybangedbylife
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
2020-01-05 17:15:45
|
sad
|
I been confused in the relationship before..I found my way back. How could I not have? I’m an imperfect human but I will not block my own blessings. You damn right I found my way back to what’s real. It’s a tall glass of anxiety and I can’t spill a drop when it comes to if you’ll find your way back to me or not.. nothing and I mean absolutely nothing comes close in urgency. I believe what’s real doesn’t fade. You get to choose the life you want to live though. And I get to love you by supporting your choices even if it kills me from the inside out. Shit at least I got to love you up close for a little. I wish it coulda been forever. I’ll never forget or take for granted what we’ve shared. And no matter what pain it brings I will always have the heart to give it another try. I know what’s real and what is worth fighting for. I sorry I wasn’t always what you deserved. I hope you know..I hope you really know, how much I adore you. Forever.
| 0 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 0 |
enwoy2
|
I hear voices but they’re all mine
|
1a
|
rant
| 2 |
This will make no sense at all but best with me please because I’m exhausted. For the past few months I’ve been convinced I have some sort of personality disorder. 6 months ago I was diagnosed with depression but I don’t believe that’s relevant at all. I feel like each part of me has fragmented but I don’t have DID (dissociative identity disorder) because all of my memories are connected. I have had some traumatic past life experiences but they never really affected me so I don’t count under the trauma list. I always just feel like parts of my mind are arguing. I have one personality fragment I call Paige which I rely on to be productive and survive tough times but I don’t feel like Paige has an individual life of memories, she just has memories that don’t apply to her as blurry. Something that appears while I was in another state would be blurry to Paige/me but she/me would still remember it. I also have a very introverted fragment and another one that’s more into rock and has an attitude. As DID as this sounds I’m pretty sure I’m just tricking my brain into thinking this way and that I don’t actually have DID. I just can’t stand this. I’m so confused. I can’t even explain this to therapists so no one can help me. I’m desperate here.
|
Otheraccountt17
| 1 | 0 | 3 |
2020-01-13 01:03:36
|
mentalillness
|
<efs>This will make no sense at all but best with me please because I’m exhausted.<efe> <es>For the past few months I’ve been convinced I have some sort of personality disorder.<ee> <es>6 months ago I was diagnosed with depression but I don’t believe that’s relevant at all.<ee> <efs>I feel like each part of me has fragmented but I don’t have DID (dissociative identity disorder) because all of my memories are connected.<efe> <es>I have had some traumatic past life experiences but they never really affected me so I don’t count under the trauma list.<ee> <efs>I always just feel like parts of my mind are arguing.<efe> I have one personality fragment I call Paige which I rely on to be productive and survive tough times but I don’t feel like Paige has an individual life of memories, she just has memories that don’t apply to her as blurry. Something that appears while I was in another state would be blurry to Paige/me but she/me would still remember it. I also have a very introverted fragment and another one that’s more into rock and has an attitude. <es>As DID as this sounds I’m pretty sure I’m just tricking my brain into thinking this way and that I don’t actually have DID.<ee> <es>I just can’t stand this.<ee> I’m so confused. <es>I can’t even explain this to therapists so no one can help me.<ee> I’m desperate here.
| 2 | 1 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
how your split personality makes you feel
|
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you are exhausted of the voices in your brain
| null | true | 210 |
ez3rt6
|
My boyfriend strangled me
|
1b
|
help-seeking
| 1 |
My boyfriend strangled me on Sunday after getting really drunk. We just moved in together on Saturday. He promised me he will stop drinking and get help by going to a therapist and anger management. Should I give him another chance? I was already set on leaving him and moving out but I’m reconsidering giving him another chance. I’d like to get some unbiased opinions. Thank you.
|
Vo0doomamajuju_
| 1 | 0 | 9 |
2020-02-05 04:32:39
|
domesticviolence
|
<es>My boyfriend strangled me on Sunday after getting really drunk.<ee> <es>We just moved in together on Saturday.<ee> <es>He promised me he will stop drinking and get help by going to a therapist and anger management.<ee> <rs>Should I give him another chance?<re> <es>I was already set on leaving him and moving out but I’m reconsidering giving him another chance.<ee> <rs>I’d like to get some unbiased opinions.<re> Thank you.
| 2 | 0 | 2 | null | null |
How did X make you feel?
|
getting strangled by your boyfriend
| null | null | null | true | 202 |
eofs6w
|
Sexuality shift after abuse?
|
0
|
survey
| 1 |
I am not sure if this is normal or not. I was always bi-sexual. I liked men and women. I got out of an abusive relationship with a man and now I am not sure that I am into men anymore. at all. I tried to be with a couple and it worked but it didn't feel right. I only seem to be into women now. I am not sure if this has happened to anyone else?
|
captivecows
| 1 | 0 | 2 |
2020-01-14 03:47:50
|
domesticviolence
|
I am not sure if this is normal or not. I was always bi-sexual. I liked men and women. I got out of an abusive relationship with a man and now I am not sure that I am into men anymore. at all. I tried to be with a couple and it worked but it didn't feel right. I only seem to be into women now. I am not sure if this has happened to anyone else?
| 2 | 1 | 1 | null | null |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
how the relationship make you feel
|
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
what would help you deal with the sexuality shift
| null | true | 211 |
ek2x61
|
5th Step Question - Do Some With Someone Besides My Sponsor?
|
0
|
help-seeking
| 1 |
I am currently working on my 4th Step and I find that I am not able to be completely honest because there is something that I am not comfortable admitting to my sponsor. I don't have an issue admitting it to God or anyone else (even a stranger), but am hung up on telling it to my sponsor.
&#x200B;
I guess the real question is, do I have to do all of my my 5th Steps with my sponsor, or can I find someone else in my HomeGroup, or online (virtual 5th Step?), or a friend, or my Life Coach or someone else to admit this one to? Shit, does telling everyone here on Reddit count?
|
FreeFromBooze
| 6 | 0 | 62 |
2020-01-04 21:37:56
|
alcoholicsanonymous
|
<es>I am currently working on my 4th Step and I find that I am not able to be completely honest because there is something that I am not comfortable admitting to my sponsor.<ee> <es> I don't have an issue admitting it to God or anyone else (even a stranger), but am hung up on telling it to my sponsor. <ee> &#x200B; <rs>I guess the real question is, do I have to do all of my my 5th Steps with my sponsor, or can I find someone else in my HomeGroup, or online (virtual 5th Step?), or a friend, or my Life Coach or someone else to admit this one to? <re> <rs> Shit, does telling everyone here on Reddit count?<re>
| 2 | 0 | 2 | null | null |
How did X make you feel?
|
not being able to open up to your sponser
| null | null | null | true | 202 |
ejbnkg
|
idk what to do now
|
0
|
help-seeking
| 3 | null |
Claren7e
| 697 | 0 | 72 |
2020-01-03 06:41:13
|
sad
| null | 0 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 0 |
eo6azb
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Cumming way too quickly after quitting
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1a
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help-seeking
| 1 |
I'm sure others have experienced this, but as I get off opiates, everything down there is way too fucking sensitive. Used to go for half an hour no problem, probably due to the fact that I was literally numbed, but now the smallest things set me off. This sensitivity inevitably lead to subpar results with my gf in bed. We're open about things, so that side of it is fine and she understands, but it's becoming annoying for me.
I know my body became used to being numb, so it's logical that when the drug that has been numbing me for 6 years is removed, normal sex feels 100000x more sensitve. I know that my brain will take a while to heal its reward pathways etc. What I want to know is whether this will eventually subside, and whether there is anything I can do to help balance the scales, so to speak. Never had this issue before, even before I was using.
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SippingLean44
| 1 | 0 | 10 |
2020-01-13 16:23:16
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OpiatesRecovery
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<es>I'm sure others have experienced this, but as I get off opiates, everything down there is way too fucking sensitive.<ee> <es>Used to go for half an hour no problem, probably due to the fact that I was literally numbed, but now the smallest things set me off.<ee> <es>This sensitivity inevitably lead to subpar results with my gf in bed.<ee> <efs>We're open about things, so that side of it is fine and she understands, but it's becoming annoying for me.<efe> <es>I know my body became used to being numb, so it's logical that when the drug that has been numbing me for 6 years is removed, normal sex feels 100000x more sensitive.<ee> <es>I know that my brain will take a while to heal its reward pathways etc.<ee> <rs>What I want to know is whether this will eventually subside, and whether there is anything I can do to help balance the scales, so to speak.<re> <es>Never had this issue before, even before I was using.<ee>
| 2 | 2 | 2 | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 222 |
eilfkz
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I can’t stand my mother
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1b
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rant
| 2 |
I love her but she is the root cause of my anxiety. She’s ALWAYS super high strung even though 2 of her 3 kids (including me) have moved out. Nothing is ever good enough for her, she always has to be right and she will critique me for any little minutia of my behavior, hygiene, etc. I’m sick of coming home twice a year just to get yelled at for getting a drop of water on the counter, or her getting mad because I forgot to put one thing in the kitchen away after making food, or getting told I need to smile more, or her saying “you brushed your teeth right?” Despite the fact that I’m 20 years old and have been brushing my teeth multiple times a day since I was 12. In the oldest of three and sometimes it feels like the only times she notices me is when I’m doing something she doesn’t approve of or if I’m not doing something exactly the way she wants it done. I can’t stay at home for more than two weeks without it taking a toll on my mental health. It’s claustrophobic and I’m sick of it. I love her to death but she needs to realize how fucking ridiculous her expectations are. She’s made me feel like nothing I do is ever good enough no matter what. Her attitude sucks I hate it. How do I deal with this? I’ve told her multiple times about how she makes me feel but it’s like she doesn’t listen to what I’m saying. I’m far from perfect but I know damn well I’m more put together than she thinks. It’s fucked my self esteem up for years and honestly I’m not sure I’m gonna come home again for a long time.
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Chillhardy
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
2020-01-01 18:10:25
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Anxiety
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<es>I can’t stand my mother<ee> <es>I love her but she is the root cause of my anxiety.<ee> <es>She’s ALWAYS super high strung even though 2 of her 3 kids (including me) have moved out.<ee> <es>Nothing is ever good enough for her, she always has to be right and she will critique me for any little minutia of my behavior, hygiene, etc.<ee> <es>I’m sick of coming home twice a year just to get yelled at for getting a drop of water on the counter, or her getting mad because I forgot to put one thing in the kitchen away after making food, or getting told I need to smile more, or her saying “you brushed your teeth right?”<ee> <es>Despite the fact that I’m 20 years old and have been brushing my teeth multiple times a day since I was 12.<ee> <es>In the oldest of three and sometimes it feels like the only times she notices me is when I’m doing something she doesn’t approve of or if I’m not doing something exactly the way she wants it done.<ee> <efs>I can’t stay at home for more than two weeks without it taking a toll on my mental health.<efe> <efs>It’s claustrophobic and I’m sick of it.<efe> <rs>I love her to death but she needs to realize how fucking ridiculous her expectations are.<re> <efs>She’s made me feel like nothing I do is ever good enough no matter what.<efe> <efs>Her attitude sucks I hate it.<efe> <rs>How do I deal with this?<re> <es>I’ve told her multiple times about how she makes me feel but it’s like she doesn’t listen to what I’m saying.<ee> I’m far from perfect but I know damn well I’m more put together than she thinks. <efs>It’s fucked my self esteem up for years and honestly I’m not sure I’m gonna come home again for a long time.<efe>
| 2 | 2 | 2 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
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title
| true | 222 |
eicp48
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Who else is sitting in their room with their blades on NYE now?
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0
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survey
| 1 | null |
ThrowawayBackup19
| 1 | 0 | 29 |
2020-01-01 02:26:14
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selfharm
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<es>Who else is sitting in their room with their blades on NYE now?<ee> nan
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
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why are you hiding with your blades
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How did X make you feel?
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thinking about self harm
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What do you need help with now that X?
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you are thinking about self harm on new year eve
| null | true | 100 |
eid8m7
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Urges/plans to die tomorrow.
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0
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rant
| 1 |
I don’t even know why I’m posting. I guess there’s a part of me that wants to live. I just don’t know what to do. I’ve been through this so many times.
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aidaole_92
| 1 | 0 | 6 |
2020-01-01 03:19:02
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BPD
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<es>Urges/plans to die tomorrow.<ee> I don’t even know why I’m posting. <rs>I guess there’s a part of me that wants to live.<re> <es>I just don’t know what to do.<ee> <es>I’ve been through this so many times.<ee>
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
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why you are having the urges to die
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How did X make you feel?
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the urges to die
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What do you need help with now that X?
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you frequently have urges to die
| null | true | 100 |
ei81rz
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HELP: I am an introverted person who is highly sensitive to other people and afraid of being judged. I always assume some people are talking about me or judging me. Not everyone but I can sense when they are. Paranoid or distorted thinking? I’m starting CBT next week.
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1b
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help-seeking
| 1 | null |
bdstwin
| 2 | 0 | 15 |
2019-12-31 20:04:32
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socialanxiety
| null | 2 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null |
How did X make you feel?
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being judged by others
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What do you need help with now that X?
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you are afraid of others judging
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title
| true | 200 |
ejszkv
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struggling with ADHD and depression in a conservative household
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1a
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help-seeking
| 1 |
I'm a 17 year old highschool kid still living with my parents and really struggling with mental illness. My life feels hopeless some days and it feels as if life itself has lost meaning. My parents were brought up in a non-westernized country and don't understand the concept of mental health. I want to seek professional help but I don't know how to do so without notifying my parents. Is there any way for me to see a psychiatrist without my parents permission.
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sparekaleidescope
| 2 | 0 | 2 |
2020-01-04 06:28:41
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mentalillness
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<es>struggling with ADHD and depression in a conservative household<ee> <es>I'm a 17 year old highschool kid still living with my parents and really struggling with mental illness.<ee> My life feels hopeless some days and it feels as if life itself has lost meaning. My parents were brought up in a non-westernized country and don't understand the concept of mental health. I want to seek professional help but I don't know how to do so without notifying my parents. Is there any way for me to see a psychiatrist without my parents permission.
| 2 | 2 | 2 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 222 |
ej7n9k
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Just picked this up from a recommendation from the group
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0
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chitchat
| 2 | null |
sipaulwill
| 1 | 0 | 2 |
2020-01-03 01:07:12
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BPD
| null | 0 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 0 |
ein7kb
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I fucked up
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1a
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rant
| 2 |
I got drunk (like an idiot) and decided to text this girl I really like A LOT. In the midst of doing all that, I told her how I felt and she enjoyed it but yet she just wasn't interested (go figure) but then a friend of mine got my phone and messaged her in my place, and now she's super pissed at me and doesn't even want to see me. I have already ruined this entire year and my life. I don't know what to do and I'm absolutely ruined, she's the only person that makes me happy in this world, she's the reason I wake up in the mornings, and honestly, she's the reason I didn't take my life this past year, and now? I ruined it fucking all. I work tirelessly to make this girl happy, I would do anything for her, I would give her the clothes off my back just so shes happy, and now I can't do anything. I'll never get to see her beautiful smile or hear her voice, just memories
I'm not asking for sympathy or pity, I just wanted to tell someone I didn't know because I really don't wanna be judged and made fun of by my own family and friends
Note: I posted this on my other account but deleted it and put it here. I'm ending the other account for I don't want people I know to find my account
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geese-are-demons
| 1 | 0 | 2 |
2020-01-01 20:23:09
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sad
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<es>I got drunk (like an idiot) and decided to text this girl I really like A LOT.<ee> <es>In the midst of doing all that, I told her how I felt and she enjoyed it but yet she just wasn't interested (go figure) but then a friend of mine got my phone and messaged her in my place, and now she's super pissed at me and doesn't even want to see me.<ee> <es>I have already ruined this entire year and my life.<ee> <efs>I don't know what to do and I'm absolutely ruined, she's the only person that makes me happy in this world, she's the reason I wake up in the mornings, and honestly, she's the reason I didn't take my life this past year, and now?<efe> <efs>I ruined it fucking all.<efe> <es>I work tirelessly to make this girl happy, I would do anything for her, I would give her the clothes off my back just so shes happy, and now I can't do anything.<ee> <efs>I'll never get to see her beautiful smile or hear her voice, just memories<efe> <rs>I'm not asking for sympathy or pity, I just wanted to tell someone I didn't know because I really don't wanna be judged and made fun of by my own family and friends<re> Note: I posted this on my other account but deleted it and put it here. I'm ending the other account for I don't want people I know to find my account
| 2 | 2 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
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you miss the girl
| null | true | 220 |
eiuy2y
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TW:self harm please help
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1a
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help-seeking
| 1 |
I dug my nails into the backs of my arms really hard without being conscious of what I was doing. Squeezing the entire triceps area down to the bone as hard as I could. and where I scratched and dug in is really red and painful and has cuts from my nails and obvious lines from where they were digging in.. I squeezed and dug my nails in for about 15 mins straight, and it's the entire back of my upper arms that looks like that. I'm worried that I hurt my vein deep in my arm or something. It's giving me a panic attack I've been having it for 2 hours now. It was PTSD induced. I didn't mean to hurt myself. Help
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Wyntersett
| 1 | 0 | 1 |
2020-01-02 07:06:26
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selfharm
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<es>I dug my nails into the backs of my arms really hard without being conscious of what I was doing.<ee> <es>Squeezing the entire triceps area down to the bone as hard as I could.<ee> <es>and where I scratched and dug in is really red and painful and has cuts from my nails and obvious lines from where they were digging in..<ee> <es>I squeezed and dug my nails in for about 15 mins straight, and it's the entire back of my upper arms that looks like that.<ee> <efs>I'm worried that I hurt my vein deep in my arm or something.<efe> <efs>It's giving me a panic attack I've been having it for 2 hours now.<efe> <es>It was PTSD induced.<ee> <es>I didn't mean to hurt myself.<ee> Help
| 2 | 2 | 0 | null | null | null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
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you made very deep cuts with your nails
| null | true | 220 |
fredub
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I can’t forget her
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1b
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help-seeking
| 1 |
Hello internet. So essentially here’s my pickle, I am still stuck on a girl whom I dated 3 months ago. I’m 20 and she was my first girlfriend that I had anything physical with, the rest of our relationship was pretty bad. We dated for a month but we have been super close for most of this school year. I was super into her and over Christmas break she ghosted me, which was her way of breaking up with me. We didn’t talk for a month and a half after that and I was heartbroken. Then she came back and apologized and now we are friends, we’ve talked about dating and we both realize it won’t work but now I can’t forget her. Everytime I think of her my mood is turned to depression, I don’t know why I can’t shake these feelings but I can’t. It doesn’t matter who I’ve told or how much I remind myself that she isn’t into me, she’s still there. So I guess what I’m asking is why can’t I forget what little we had?
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Huskerfan9349
| 1 | 0 | 2 |
2020-03-29 22:09:00
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getting_over_it
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Hello internet. <es>So essentially here’s my pickle, I am still stuck on a girl whom I dated 3 months ago.<ee> <es>I’m 20 and she was my first girlfriend that I had anything physical with, the rest of our relationship was pretty bad.<ee> <es>We dated for a month but we have been super close for most of this school year.<ee> <es>I was super into her and over Christmas break she ghosted me, which was her way of breaking up with me.<ee> <efs>We didn’t talk for a month and a half after that and I was heartbroken.<efe> <es>Then she came back and apologized and now we are friends, we’ve talked about dating and we both realize it won’t work but now I can’t forget her.<ee> <efS>Everytime I think of her my mood is turned to depression, I don’t know why I can’t shake these feelings but I can’t. <efe><es>It doesn’t matter who I’ve told or how much I remind myself that she isn’t into me, she’s still there.<ee> <rs>So I guess what I’m asking is why can’t I forget what little we had?<re>
| 2 | 2 | 2 | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 222 |
em1lox
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Parental substance abuse Questions (school project)
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0
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survey
| 2 |
The following questions are for a research project on parental substance abuse for school. If you have grown up exposed to parental substance abuse, please feel free to answer any of the questions. Keep in mind they are completely optional and you do not have to answer all of them if you don't feel comfortable doing so.
&#x200B;
1. Are you able to establish close relationships with others?
2. Were your parents emotionally distant with you during your childhood? If so, how do you think it has impacted your behaviour in certain situations/when your around certain people.
3. How would you say your parent's substance abuse has effected your life? What kind of person has it resulted you be? How different would you be were it not for your parent's addiction?
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Telo_d
| 1 | 0 | 2 |
2020-01-09 00:23:13
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addiction
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The following questions are for a research project on parental substance abuse for school. If you have grown up exposed to parental substance abuse, please feel free to answer any of the questions. Keep in mind they are completely optional and you do not have to answer all of them if you don't feel comfortable doing so. &#x200B; 1. Are you able to establish close relationships with others? 2. Were your parents emotionally distant with you during your childhood? If so, how do you think it has impacted your behaviour in certain situations/when your around certain people. 3. How would you say your parent's substance abuse has effected your life? What kind of person has it resulted you be? How different would you be were it not for your parent's addiction?
| 0 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
random
| true | 0 |
eqywks
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How do I go forward from here?
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1b
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help-seeking
| 1 |
My usual counselor is booked for the next few weeks but I wanted advice on what happened to me. Before I was raped I had lots of friends and support and I talked to everyone and then when it happened everyone disappeared and I haven’t really felt any level of support since. 2 friends of mine raped me and manipulated me for months so I wouldn’t report it, other people told me it was my fault or tried to rush me through the healing process so I would drop it faster. I just don’t have any friends anymore. I’m extremely social but I back off anytime someone acts too friendly or wants to actually know me. It’s like I can’t turn off this instant fear that they’ll do something terrible to me or leave when things start to suck.
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ramona-ramona
| 1 | 0 | 1 |
2020-01-19 17:05:20
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rapecounseling
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<rs>How do I go forward from here?<re> <rs>My usual counselor is booked for the next few weeks but I wanted advice on what happened to me.<re> <es>Before I was raped I had lots of friends and support and I talked to everyone and then when it happened everyone disappeared and I haven’t really felt any level of support since.<ee> <es>2 friends of mine raped me and manipulated me for months so I wouldn’t report it, other people told me it was my fault or tried to rush me through the healing process so I would drop it faster.<ee> <es>I just don’t have any friends anymore.<ee> <es>I’m extremely social but I back off anytime someone acts too friendly or wants to actually know me.<ee> <efs>It’s like I can’t turn off this instant fear that they’ll do something terrible to me or leave when things start to suck.<efe>
| 2 | 2 | 2 | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 222 |
eitz5c
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anxiety headache relief?
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0
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help-seeking
| 1 |
does anyone know how to get rid of these headaches i get them on the daily
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OpAgents
| 1 | 0 | 1 |
2020-01-02 05:30:09
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Anxiety
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<es>anxiety headache relief?<ee> <rs>does anyone know how to get rid of these headaches i get them on the daily<re>
| 1 | 0 | 2 |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
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what causes you anxiety
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How did X make you feel?
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the anxiety headaches
| null | null | null | true | 102 |
eia42q
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I feel guilty
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1a
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rant
| 1 |
Had an anxiety attack and the bf dipped on a party he was really excited for to stay with me and make sure I am okay. I love him and am happy he’s home but feel so guilty that he’s missing out on time with his friends
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ijustwanttoseemydog1
| 1 | 0 | 2 |
2019-12-31 22:48:34
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Anxiety
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<es>Had an anxiety attack and the bf dipped on a party he was really excited for to stay with me and make sure I am okay.<ee> <efs>I love him and am happy he’s home but feel so guilty that he’s missing out on time with his friends<efe>
| 1 | 2 | 0 |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
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anxiety attack
| null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
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your anxiety attack made you feel guilty
| null | true | 120 |
elqs6v
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Advice?
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0
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help-seeking
| 1 |
Does anyone else ever just kinda get paralyzed almost like sleep paralysis but ur awake. And lol u see and feel and hear is flashbacks of ur trauma. Idk what to do to bring myself back to reality besides mess with my popsocket which isn’t much help. I’ve thought about a service dog because I feel like I could benefit from it I’ve done years of research but everyone tells me I shouldn’t can’t or don’t need one. So any advice on what I can do to help myself.
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cudam221
| 1 | 0 | 4 |
2020-01-08 10:00:25
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ptsd
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<es>Does anyone else ever just kinda get paralyzed almost like sleep paralysis but ur awake.<ee> <es>And lol u see and feel and hear is flashbacks of ur trauma.<ee> <es>Idk what to do to bring myself back to reality besides mess with my popsocket which isn’t much help.<ee> <es>I’ve thought about a service dog because I feel like I could benefit from it I’ve done years of research but everyone tells me I shouldn’t can’t or don’t need one.<ee> <rs>So any advice on what I can do to help myself.<re>
| 2 | 0 | 2 | null | null |
How did X make you feel?
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the seeing the flashbacks of your trauma
| null | null | null | true | 202 |
eihg0g
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Anyone else feel intense emotions about their ex seeing someone else - even if you were the one to break it up?
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1b
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help-seeking
| 2 |
Feel my heart pounding every time I think about it even though I was the one that didn’t want to be together. It’s been almost a year and a half, I still don’t want to be together and have totally moved on in that sense. But he has been ‘ in love with me’ for almost 9 years. It just feels like if he takes an interest in someone else then he never truly loved me and it was all a lie. It shouldn’t bother me at all because If I wasn’t happy with him he should be allowed to chance to make someone else happy.
I keep feeling the urge to make angry or snarky comments. I can’t let the BPD monster take over here.
Logically I’m fine with it, I’ve been telling him to get with someone else so he can stop pining after me and get on with his life. But our relationship was so emotionally toxic and fucked up and fuelled by battles of control for on and off 8 years I just don’t know how to view him now.
Question is: how do you stop feeling stuff about stuff you shouldn’t have feelings towards in the first place?
My old therapist would say think deep about the emotions, be vulnerable and allow myself to go through whatever I’m feeling but I don’t think I can do that on my own.
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ExploraDora64a
| 1 | 0 | 14 |
2020-01-01 11:30:03
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BPD
|
<efs>Feel my heart pounding every time I think about it even though I was the one that didn’t want to be together.<efe> <es>It’s been almost a year and a half, I still don’t want to be together and have totally moved on in that sense.<ee> <es>But he has been ‘ in love with me’ for almost 9 years.<ee> <efs>It just feels like if he takes an interest in someone else then he never truly loved me and it was all a lie.<efe> <es>It shouldn’t bother me at all because If I wasn’t happy with him he should be allowed to chance to make someone else happy. <ee> <efs>I keep feeling the urge to make angry or snarky comments.<efe> <es>I can’t let the BPD monster take over here. <ee> <es>Logically I’m fine with it, I’ve been telling him to get with someone else so he can stop pining after me and get on with his life.<ee> <es>But our relationship was so emotionally toxic and fucked up and fuelled by battles of control for on and off 8 years I just don’t know how to view him now. <ee> <rs>Question is: how do you stop feeling stuff about stuff you shouldn’t have feelings towards in the first place?<re> <es>My old therapist would say think deep about the emotions, be vulnerable and allow myself to go through whatever I’m feeling but I don’t think I can do that on my own.<ee>
| 2 | 2 | 2 | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 222 |
ej6qrq
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I want motivation
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1a
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help-seeking
| 1 |
I have big plans for my life if I even make it to my adult life. I want to go to college for philosophy and psychology then become a writer. But I have no motivation to even begin. I don't want to write a steaming pile of shit then get shit on about what I should've done. Another plan I have is to enlist in the Marine corps and go for infratry. In a way I want people to worry for me, worry for my life and be in danger. I want to be a hero in the eyes of many. I want to tell my story. I can't do that though. I'm just someone in need of serious help. I want to find my footing but as you all should know it's not that easy.
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femaleking51
| 2 | 0 | 2 |
2020-01-02 23:59:15
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BPD
|
<rs>I want motivation<re> <es>I have big plans for my life if I even make it to my adult life.<ee> <es>I want to go to college for philosophy and psychology then become a writer.<ee> <es>But I have no motivation to even begin.<ee> <es>I don't want to write a steaming pile of shit then get shit on about what I should've done.<ee> <es>Another plan I have is to enlist in the Marine corps and go for infratry.<ee> <es>In a way I want people to worry for me, worry for my life and be in danger.<ee> <es>I want to be a hero in the eyes of many.<ee> <es>I want to tell my story.<ee> <es>I can't do that though.<ee> <rs>I'm just someone in need of serious help.<re> <rs>I want to find my footing but as you all should know it's not that easy.<re>
| 2 | 0 | 2 | null | null |
How did X make you feel?
|
lack of motivation
| null | null | null | true | 202 |
eihqwi
|
Does anyone else here have selective mutism as well?
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1b
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survey
| 3 |
Hi. This is my first time posting in this subreddit.
I'm really curious if anyone else here also suffers with selective mutism? I've never met anyone else with it. I was my therapist's first and only case.
Here's my whole up and down story with selective mutism. It's kind of a long winded story so if you don't read that's fine I just want to get my story out there and also find out if there's anyone else here.
I've had it as long as I can remember starting back when I was in an abusive foster care home. That was when I was 4. My parents said that before I was "super talkative" but after I just got quite. For the first year of being home with my family I only whispered to them. It took until my baby sister was born for me to talk out loud to them.
When school started I learned to just whisper to the teachers. But before I had to make sure no peers were in earshot. I just saw school as a living hell that I had to endure everyday. If a classmate wasn't asking "Why don't you talk?" they were trying to trick me into talking or trying to make me laugh (looking back I appreciate but at the time I hated). I would always want to join in on their conversations and they would try and get me to; I would even have a whole response drafted in my head of to what to say but there would be almost like a dam blocking the words from coming out of my mouth. Sometimes I would write it down on paper and give it to them and sometimes I would try to "show" it. It would always upset me when they misinterpreted what I was trying to say and then they would run with it. I would be so frustrated because it's not what I meant. When my parents would pick me up from school, I would not open my mouth until the car doors were shut and the windows were up; I was that terrified of someone hearing me.
From preschool to 5th grade I didn't give a crap about school for obvious reasons. But in 5th grade I finally had a teacher who didn't try and force me to live up to the other kids standards or try and dumb everything down for me. He set goals for me and he made sure that I met those goals, whether that was staying with me after school, taking me into a separate room if I had questions, or regularly checking with me that I was good at my desk throughout the day. He made me care about school and made the learning enjoyable for me. Back on the school track. I went from being a D student to A student within the year.After 5th grade I made sure to get everything done and do it fully.
On a side note I did have 1 true friend throughout some of this. This was in 1st grade. We became friends after she told me to call her when I got home (she gave me her number). When I did I sat there with listening to her saying "Hello?" for a good couple minutes and I finally got up enough courage to say "Hi." I immediately hung up the phone. After that weird exchange, I then started to whisper to her and continued to do so until about 5th grade when I finally had enough trust in her to speak normally. We spent so many hours watching Disney channel and playing club penguin and making dumb YT videos (basically normal early 2000's kids stuff). We stayed best friends until about 8th grade when she went down a deep hole of depression and anxiety and so I did I and we just stopped talking. And we haven't really talked much sense. The only time I can really remember was when her grandpa died I showed up for a couple minutes at his celebration of life.
I was every teacher's' pet... their \*very\* quiet pet, lol. All my projects and essays would be used as examples. I was proud that I was able to do that. It stayed that way until 9th grade. The year started great as normal (I was already acclimated to the school because it was a Jr/Sr high so all grades 7th-12th were there; there was no real difference between the two because it was the same building and same teachers). Anyway, I started having to miss classes to go to my therapy appointments (which were an hour away because we live in a small town). The fear of facing the teachers and my peers and having to explain (at least to the teachers) what I was going on; I started to freak out. I started asking my dad to let me stay home "because I have an appointment later."
BTW tail end of 8th grade was when I started seeing my therapist (I'd never seen one before) and that was only because I begged my parents because I felt like no one could understand me at school. Anyway, I also started taking antidepressants in October of that year so it probably factored into this.
I stopped going to school. My dad would literally drag me out of my bed. One time while my school counselor and vice principal was there he dragged me out of the car so I could go to school. I just ended up having more panic attacks because I felt like everyone was disappointed in me.
A few months before this is also when I got my emotional support cat, Minnie. She went to and still goes to every single therapy appointment with me. She'll either sit next to me or she'll go and do something in the office until she senses I'm starting to worry.
Anyway, again, then some really bad family stuff happened and it just added on to the crap pie. All you need to know was my whole family had to stay at my grandma's house. I ended up missing so much school I was marked as truant and was set to appear in court. Thank god my counselor at the school knew about the state's online school and she helped me get signed up for the next year. Back on the court thing, I didn't speak to the judge but my parents, my vice principal and counselor all said what was going on and that I was signed up for online school for the next year and my therapist even wrote him a letter. I remember while I was literally crying in front of him from the stress he asked my VP (she had to do it because of the state laws) "Why on earth is she here?!" and he sent me home.
Online school was the first time I talked to non-friend peers. It took me until freaking 10th grade to actually have a conversation with a fellow peer!!! Now I'm a senior. I've done prom committee every year so far since I've been at the online school and made acquaintances with some peers. Now I work at Albertsons as a courtesy clerk and am kind of basically living on my own (in my grandma's house).
Working had increased my social interactions at least 10 folds. Now that I'm working I'm seeing all the time that I've lost with social interaction. I've missed out on 13 years of learning. I keep getting told things by my manager that stems from not talking for X amount of years. She understands why but it still gets to me and I understand why she has to say it. (most of the time it's me making a bad jab at sarcasm or just me trying to control something). I have had now a couple panic attacks at work. The one time I literally had tears in my eyes but didn't want to stop to fully breakdown until my shift was over with which was about 3 hours. I was mildly... crying... in... those... 3... freaking... hours. THE WHOLE TIME!
I've now seen the same therapist for almost 4 years now. I haven't been able to talk to anyone from my old school yet but hope to eventually and hopefully I get up enough nerve to message my friend. In school I'm kind of falling behind because of procrastination and just senioritis; it's freaking exhausting. I'm working with my online school counselor to stay on track but it's still hard. I'm only half a credit behind on what I missed from Freshman year which I'll make up next semester.
Anyway, thanks for reading my long winded story.
|
sweetcarolineisme
| 1 | 0 | 3 |
2020-01-01 12:11:38
|
Anxiety
|
Hi. This is my first time posting in this subreddit. I'm really curious if anyone else here also suffers with selective mutism? I've never met anyone else with it. I was my therapist's first and only case. Here's my whole up and down story with selective mutism. It's kind of a long winded story so if you don't read that's fine I just want to get my story out there and also find out if there's anyone else here. I've had it as long as I can remember starting back when I was in an abusive foster care home. That was when I was 4. My parents said that before I was "super talkative" but after I just got quite. For the first year of being home with my family I only whispered to them. It took until my baby sister was born for me to talk out loud to them. When school started I learned to just whisper to the teachers. But before I had to make sure no peers were in earshot. I just saw school as a living hell that I had to endure everyday. If a classmate wasn't asking "Why don't you talk?" they were trying to trick me into talking or trying to make me laugh (looking back I appreciate but at the time I hated). I would always want to join in on their conversations and they would try and get me to; I would even have a whole response drafted in my head of to what to say but there would be almost like a dam blocking the words from coming out of my mouth. Sometimes I would write it down on paper and give it to them and sometimes I would try to "show" it. It would always upset me when they misinterpreted what I was trying to say and then they would run with it. I would be so frustrated because it's not what I meant. When my parents would pick me up from school, I would not open my mouth until the car doors were shut and the windows were up; I was that terrified of someone hearing me. From preschool to 5th grade I didn't give a crap about school for obvious reasons. But in 5th grade I finally had a teacher who didn't try and force me to live up to the other kids standards or try and dumb everything down for me. He set goals for me and he made sure that I met those goals, whether that was staying with me after school, taking me into a separate room if I had questions, or regularly checking with me that I was good at my desk throughout the day. He made me care about school and made the learning enjoyable for me. Back on the school track. I went from being a D student to A student within the year.After 5th grade I made sure to get everything done and do it fully. On a side note I did have 1 true friend throughout some of this. This was in 1st grade. We became friends after she told me to call her when I got home (she gave me her number). When I did I sat there with listening to her saying "Hello?" for a good couple minutes and I finally got up enough courage to say "Hi." I immediately hung up the phone. After that weird exchange, I then started to whisper to her and continued to do so until about 5th grade when I finally had enough trust in her to speak normally. We spent so many hours watching Disney channel and playing club penguin and making dumb YT videos (basically normal early 2000's kids stuff). We stayed best friends until about 8th grade when she went down a deep hole of depression and anxiety and so I did I and we just stopped talking. And we haven't really talked much sense. The only time I can really remember was when her grandpa died I showed up for a couple minutes at his celebration of life. I was every teacher's' pet... their \*very\* quiet pet, lol. All my projects and essays would be used as examples. I was proud that I was able to do that. It stayed that way until 9th grade. The year started great as normal (I was already acclimated to the school because it was a Jr/Sr high so all grades 7th-12th were there; there was no real difference between the two because it was the same building and same teachers). Anyway, I started having to miss classes to go to my therapy appointments (which were an hour away because we live in a small town). The fear of facing the teachers and my peers and having to explain (at least to the teachers) what I was going on; I started to freak out. I started asking my dad to let me stay home "because I have an appointment later." BTW tail end of 8th grade was when I started seeing my therapist (I'd never seen one before) and that was only because I begged my parents because I felt like no one could understand me at school. Anyway, I also started taking antidepressants in October of that year so it probably factored into this. I stopped going to school. My dad would literally drag me out of my bed. One time while my school counselor and vice principal was there he dragged me out of the car so I could go to school. I just ended up having more panic attacks because I felt like everyone was disappointed in me. A few months before this is also when I got my emotional support cat, Minnie. She went to and still goes to every single therapy appointment with me. She'll either sit next to me or she'll go and do something in the office until she senses I'm starting to worry. Anyway, again, then some really bad family stuff happened and it just added on to the crap pie. All you need to know was my whole family had to stay at my grandma's house. I ended up missing so much school I was marked as truant and was set to appear in court. Thank god my counselor at the school knew about the state's online school and she helped me get signed up for the next year. Back on the court thing, I didn't speak to the judge but my parents, my vice principal and counselor all said what was going on and that I was signed up for online school for the next year and my therapist even wrote him a letter. I remember while I was literally crying in front of him from the stress he asked my VP (she had to do it because of the state laws) "Why on earth is she here?!" and he sent me home. Online school was the first time I talked to non-friend peers. It took me until freaking 10th grade to actually have a conversation with a fellow peer!!! Now I'm a senior. I've done prom committee every year so far since I've been at the online school and made acquaintances with some peers. Now I work at Albertsons as a courtesy clerk and am kind of basically living on my own (in my grandma's house). Working had increased my social interactions at least 10 folds. Now that I'm working I'm seeing all the time that I've lost with social interaction. I've missed out on 13 years of learning. I keep getting told things by my manager that stems from not talking for X amount of years. She understands why but it still gets to me and I understand why she has to say it. (most of the time it's me making a bad jab at sarcasm or just me trying to control something). I have had now a couple panic attacks at work. The one time I literally had tears in my eyes but didn't want to stop to fully breakdown until my shift was over with which was about 3 hours. I was mildly... crying... in... those... 3... freaking... hours. THE WHOLE TIME! I've now seen the same therapist for almost 4 years now. I haven't been able to talk to anyone from my old school yet but hope to eventually and hopefully I get up enough nerve to message my friend. In school I'm kind of falling behind because of procrastination and just senioritis; it's freaking exhausting. I'm working with my online school counselor to stay on track but it's still hard. I'm only half a credit behind on what I missed from Freshman year which I'll make up next semester. Anyway, thanks for reading my long winded story.
| 0 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
random
| true | 0 |
eqln6y
|
What can I do now, where can I go, I was abused and not she put in op, I some justice, I have nothing against them, I just want my kids
|
1b
|
help-seeking
| 4 |
Personal Statement- Moha
I, Moha (the Respondent) hereby present before this honorable court the following statements in response to the allegations raised by the petitioner. I solemnly and sincerely affirm that all that I will present in this document shall be true to the best of my knowledge.
I and the Petitioner, sara got married in 2014 through an arranged marriage between my family and her family. In 2015, I arrived in the United States of America (U.S.A) to settle with my wife. I moved into her family house with Seven (7) members of her family. I have lived peacefully and co-existed with the in-laws and my wife. I respect and love them as my own family. I don’t take the relationship with my in-laws for granted as they are my only family here in the U.S.A and the only people I know. This is especially true with the relationship I have with my father-in-law. I took him as a father since I lost my father in 2015. He has been the closest to a father I know.
It has been difficult for me in the last three years of my marriage. I have been treated unfairly and abused by my wife and her family. My wife kicks me out at will, I have to sleep in the car for days or in the basement. She would sometimes take the children to her parents refusing me to see them for weeks because of our misunderstandings. On one occasion, she hit me with her shoe for coming home 20 minutes later than usual. I tried to explain what had happened to her father, but he yelled at me and called the Police. I was taken away by the Police till the next morning even though I had made an official complaint against my wife and how I was treated. I reported to the police how she used to put me and kids on powerful sleeping pills but no further action was taken on this matter.
There have been accusations by my wife that I have been physically violent towards her and my two children (Ma Chowdhury and Ay Begum). I put it to this court today that I have never been physically violent towards my wife or children. I love my children too much to harm them in any way.
The petitioner had also claim that I am a danger to myself and those around me. She claimed I had tried to harm myself severally and have tried hurting her as well. I put it to this court that these claims are untrue. I have no intention of harming myself or anyone. She had claimed I was into hard drugs and reported to my family in 2016 that I had mental issues. I also deny these claims and put it to this court that these claims are also untrue. I admit before this court that I occasionally engage in smoking marijuana. However, I was just a social smoker and never smoked heavily. I have since the 2nd of January 2020 stopped any involvement or attempt to smoke marijuana and I have taken the initiative to quit smoking for good. I took a test on the 27th of January to proof that I am clean from any marijuana use (a copy of this test is presented to this court, today). Nonetheless, if the court wishes for me to carry out any independent drug or mental test, I hereby consent to these tests.
I have tried to report this matter to the police severally but have been threatened by my wife and my family. They threaten not to grant me access to my children, they threaten to send me back to Bangladesh, they even took my passport at some point and refused to return it.
The petitioner locked me in the basement for seven days with no heating or food. I went to her family to plead my case but only met with insult and abuses from them. I was beaten by her father and her brother and stripped of 3000$.
My wife upset by my action reported me to the police. The police unable to find any concrete evidence of wrongdoing freed me and allowed me to go back home. Unsatisfied with the decision of the police, she filed a case at the family court with several allegations such as those identified above. She was granted an order of protection which restricts me from seeing my children or going anywhere near them or my wife or my home. Till date, I have not visited that area or texted my wife, her parents or family,
I have never tried to start a fight with my wife or family, instead, I have tried to bring a solution to this situation and begged my wife and family in order to move past this. I no one in the U.S.A but my wife, her family and my children. My brothers and sisters, and my 85 years old mother are all in Bangladesh. All I am looking for is an opportunity to see my children again and be a good father to them.
I want to start my life afresh with my two beautiful children. I plead with this honorable court to grant me this privilege. I am unsure what the future holds for me and their mother but as it stands, if she chooses to divorce, I am happy to sign the papers and co-parent with her. All I seek is an opportunity to be a part of my children’s life.
I thank the court and the honorable judge for thier consideration on this matter.
|
samichyy
| 1 | 0 | 3 |
2020-01-18 20:13:33
|
domesticviolence
|
Personal Statement- Moha I, Moha (the Respondent) hereby present before this honorable court the following statements in response to the allegations raised by the petitioner. I solemnly and sincerely affirm that all that I will present in this document shall be true to the best of my knowledge. I and the Petitioner, sara got married in 2014 through an arranged marriage between my family and her family. In 2015, I arrived in the United States of America (U.S.A) to settle with my wife. I moved into her family house with Seven (7) members of her family. I have lived peacefully and co-existed with the in-laws and my wife. I respect and love them as my own family. I don’t take the relationship with my in-laws for granted as they are my only family here in the U.S.A and the only people I know. This is especially true with the relationship I have with my father-in-law. I took him as a father since I lost my father in 2015. He has been the closest to a father I know. It has been difficult for me in the last three years of my marriage. I have been treated unfairly and abused by my wife and her family. My wife kicks me out at will, I have to sleep in the car for days or in the basement. She would sometimes take the children to her parents refusing me to see them for weeks because of our misunderstandings. On one occasion, she hit me with her shoe for coming home 20 minutes later than usual. I tried to explain what had happened to her father, but he yelled at me and called the Police. I was taken away by the Police till the next morning even though I had made an official complaint against my wife and how I was treated. I reported to the police how she used to put me and kids on powerful sleeping pills but no further action was taken on this matter. There have been accusations by my wife that I have been physically violent towards her and my two children (Ma Chowdhury and Ay Begum). I put it to this court today that I have never been physically violent towards my wife or children. I love my children too much to harm them in any way. The petitioner had also claim that I am a danger to myself and those around me. She claimed I had tried to harm myself severally and have tried hurting her as well. I put it to this court that these claims are untrue. I have no intention of harming myself or anyone. She had claimed I was into hard drugs and reported to my family in 2016 that I had mental issues. I also deny these claims and put it to this court that these claims are also untrue. I admit before this court that I occasionally engage in smoking marijuana. However, I was just a social smoker and never smoked heavily. I have since the 2nd of January 2020 stopped any involvement or attempt to smoke marijuana and I have taken the initiative to quit smoking for good. I took a test on the 27th of January to proof that I am clean from any marijuana use (a copy of this test is presented to this court, today). Nonetheless, if the court wishes for me to carry out any independent drug or mental test, I hereby consent to these tests. I have tried to report this matter to the police severally but have been threatened by my wife and my family. They threaten not to grant me access to my children, they threaten to send me back to Bangladesh, they even took my passport at some point and refused to return it. The petitioner locked me in the basement for seven days with no heating or food. I went to her family to plead my case but only met with insult and abuses from them. I was beaten by her father and her brother and stripped of 3000$. My wife upset by my action reported me to the police. The police unable to find any concrete evidence of wrongdoing freed me and allowed me to go back home. Unsatisfied with the decision of the police, she filed a case at the family court with several allegations such as those identified above. She was granted an order of protection which restricts me from seeing my children or going anywhere near them or my wife or my home. Till date, I have not visited that area or texted my wife, her parents or family, I have never tried to start a fight with my wife or family, instead, I have tried to bring a solution to this situation and begged my wife and family in order to move past this. I no one in the U.S.A but my wife, her family and my children. My brothers and sisters, and my 85 years old mother are all in Bangladesh. All I am looking for is an opportunity to see my children again and be a good father to them. I want to start my life afresh with my two beautiful children. I plead with this honorable court to grant me this privilege. I am unsure what the future holds for me and their mother but as it stands, if she chooses to divorce, I am happy to sign the papers and co-parent with her. All I seek is an opportunity to be a part of my children’s life. I thank the court and the honorable judge for thier consideration on this matter.
| 0 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
random
| true | 0 |
eia7ch
|
It's the end of the year and I'm alone.
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 1 |
I'm terrified to let anyone in and I feel like there's just something wrong with me. I can't remember what it's like to have a friend that genuinely wanted to be with me and would make time to talk to me. I feel like a freak and I'm unbearably lonely all the time. I had hoped that I would get use to being alone eventually but it's just getting more and more painful. I try reaching out but I still haven't received any sort of message. Not even a "hey, you okay?". Is it so wrong to want people to message me? Am I that much of a burden to others?
|
CryWitch
| 1 | 0 | 4 |
2019-12-31 22:56:05
|
BPD
|
<efs>I'm terrified to let anyone in and I feel like there's just something wrong with me.<efe> <es>I can't remember what it's like to have a friend that genuinely wanted to be with me and would make time to talk to me.<ee> <efs>I feel like a freak and I'm unbearably lonely all the time.<efe> <efs>I had hoped that I would get use to being alone eventually but it's just getting more and more painful.<efe> <es>I try reaching out but I still haven't received any sort of message.<ee> <es>Not even a "hey, you okay?".<ee> <rs>Is it so wrong to want people to message me?<re> <rs>Am I that much of a burden to others?<re>
| 2 | 2 | 1 | null | null | null | null |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
what would help you not feel lonely
| null | true | 221 |
exvlg5
|
Help?
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 1 |
I am just throwing this out there, I tried looking it up online but I am not finding any answers. This is quite distressing to me. I can drink socially with no problems. This has happened to me at least once a year. I went out last night. I had a few drinks. I remember everything, I was not annihilated. At some point during the night I chugged half a bottle of alcohol, I woke up this morning crying, I love the man that I am with, I hate for him to see me this way, I barely remember doing this. Like I said I can have one or 2 drinks socially with no problem, and I do not drink everyday. I was married for 20 years with a man who was physically and verbally abusive, I divorced him 5 years ago. I am currently engaged to a wonderful man whom I truly love, my life is great. We went to a concert last night, a friend of ours went with us, he is a large man, like my ex was, I am thinking that is what triggered it, I used to drink just to deal with my abusive ex. Was this an unintentional flash back? Do I need to get help? I feel terrible, I hate this. Does this happen to anyone else? Am I just a freak of nature? The man I am with does not deserve this. I am just asking to see if this type of behavior happen with anyone else out there.
|
Rebeccacarrie
| 1 | 0 | 5 |
2020-02-02 21:30:27
|
domesticviolence
|
<es>I am just throwing this out there, I tried looking it up online but I am not finding any answers. <ee> <efs>This is quite distressing to me.<efe> <es>I can drink socially with no problems.<ee> <es> This has happened to me at least once a year. <ee> <es>I went out last night.<ee> <es>I had a few drinks.<ee> <es>I remember everything, I was not annihilated. <ee> <es>At some point during the night I chugged half a bottle of alcohol, I woke up this morning crying, I love the man that I am with, I hate for him to see me this way, I barely remember doing this. <ee> <es>Like I said I can have one or 2 drinks socially with no problem, and I do not drink everyday. <ee> <es>I was married for 20 years with a man who was physically and verbally abusive, I divorced him 5 years ago.<ee> <es>I am currently engaged to a wonderful man whom I truly love, my life is great.<ee> <es> We went to a concert last night, a friend of ours went with us, he is a large man, like my ex was, I am thinking that is what triggered it, I used to drink just to deal with my abusive ex. <ee> <rs>Was this an unintentional flash back?<re> <rs> Do I need to get help? <re> <efs>I feel terrible, I hate this.<efe> <rs> Does this happen to anyone else?<re> <rs> Am I just a freak of nature?<re> <es>The man I am with does not deserve this.<ee> <rs>I am just asking to see if this type of behavior happen with anyone else out there.<re>
| 2 | 2 | 2 | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 222 |
eie6bz
|
ADHD RSD
|
1a
|
rant
| 1 |
Thanks a whole fuck of a lot RSD.
Without the one I love, while she’s with another man, during one of the most important events of the century. If I didn’t have you RSD, I would be with her now; Instead, you drove her away with your impulsive temper and pinpoint assholery. Way to go, prick. Apologies are never as good as not having to say you’re sorry in the first place.
To put it lightly, Fuck.
|
ThexFlamexInside
| 1 | 0 | 9 |
2020-01-01 04:54:39
|
ADHD
|
Thanks a whole fuck of a lot RSD. Without the one I love, while she’s with another man, during one of the most important events of the century. If I didn’t have you RSD, I would be with her now; Instead, you drove her away with your impulsive temper and pinpoint assholery. Way to go, prick. Apologies are never as good as not having to say you’re sorry in the first place. To put it lightly, Fuck.
| 0 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
random
| true | 0 |
esl3w7
|
I need any kind of outside advice I can get , I’m being abused by a youtuber.
|
1b
|
help-seeking
| 2 |
This is my first time reaching out to anyone about my situation or really telling anyone what’s going on .
It all started in the beginning of my relationship June 2019 I had gotten into a really bad fight with my boyfriend and in the heat of the moment we decided to end things. I had a friend come pick me up and that was that. That night I ended up drinking with a close friend of mine and venting . I had gotten a little too drunk I guess and had texted one of my ex boyfriends. My friend ends up dropping me off (I didn’t remember till I woke up in my own bed) that’s when I realize my boyfriend was still there . I woke up to him going through my phone , he angrily confronted me about it . I apologized and tried to explain I was black out drunk , we also consensually broke up the night before. Truthfully haven’t seen this kind of anger before , he got so hostile after my apology he threw my own belongings around in the room we were in and made a hole in my wall . In that moment I didn’t think much of it besides I made him this upset and I kept blaming myself for all the anger. Ever since then we’ve been fighting extremely. Name calling , I’ve been hit once now and My house looks like a museum for angry emotions with all the holes in the walls , doors , closet sliding doors are smashed in. The worst part of all of this is he is someone with a large social media following , so he has gotten people to harass me / send me threatening messages. Regardless of his non-stop verbal abuse he still continues to live in my home . I’ve tried talking with him , deleting my own social media but it seems like anything I do I can’t come back from that night . He will mention that night anytime I try to talk to him about any of my feelings . He’s recently gone as far as to smash my dads altar (I’m pagan) and tell me I’m not allowed to grieve my friend who recently died because he took his own life because we flirted over 4 years ago .
I feel like I’m lost , I feel ugly and I feel alone .
Do I really deserve all of this because of that night . I didn’t even remember talking to the person . I feel like this is taking a huge toll on my mental heath . I feel numb .
|
TrainingSuggestion3
| 1 | 0 | 3 |
2020-01-23 00:34:57
|
domesticviolence
|
This is my first time reaching out to anyone about my situation or really telling anyone what’s going on . <es>It all started in the beginning of my relationship June 2019 I had gotten into a really bad fight with my boyfriend and in the heat of the moment we decided to end things.<ee> <es>I had a friend come pick me up and that was that.<ee> <es>That night I ended up drinking with a close friend of mine and venting .<ee> <es>I had gotten a little too drunk I guess and had texted one of my ex boyfriends.<ee> <es>My friend ends up dropping me off (I didn’t remember till I woke up in my own bed) that’s when I realize my boyfriend was still there .<ee> <es>I woke up to him going through my phone , he angrily confronted me about it .<ee> <es>I apologized and tried to explain I was black out drunk , we also consensually broke up the night before.<ee> <es>Truthfully haven’t seen this kind of anger before , he got so hostile after my apology he threw my own belongings around in the room we were in and made a hole in my wall .<ee> <es>In that moment I didn’t think much of it besides I made him this upset and I kept blaming myself for all the anger.<ee> <es>Ever since then we’ve been fighting extremely. Name calling , I’ve been hit once now and My house looks like a museum for angry emotions with all the holes in the walls , doors , closet sliding doors are smashed in.<ee> <es>The worst part of all of this is he is someone with a large social media following , so he has gotten people to harass me / send me threatening messages.<ee> <es>Regardless of his non-stop verbal abuse he still continues to live in my home .<ee> <es>I’ve tried talking with him , deleting my own social media but it seems like anything I do I can’t come back from that night .<ee> <es>He will mention that night anytime I try to talk to him about any of my feelings .<ee> <es>He’s recently gone as far as to smash my dads altar (I’m pagan) and tell me I’m not allowed to grieve my friend who recently died because he took his own life because we flirted over 4 years ago .<ee> <efs>I feel like I’m lost , I feel ugly and I feel alone .<efe> <rs>Do I really deserve all of this because of that night .<re> <es>I didn’t even remember talking to the person .<ee> <efs>I feel like this is taking a huge toll on my mental heath .<efe> <efs>I feel numb .<efe>
| 2 | 2 | 1 | null | null | null | null |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
what would help you feel better
| null | true | 221 |
ej2rp0
|
*sad noises*
|
0
|
rant
| 3 | null |
MoterThread
| 365 | 0 | 20 |
2020-01-02 19:21:30
|
sad
| null | 0 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
random
| true | 0 |
fh47fz
|
Daily reminder: I matter as a human being
|
0
|
chitchat
| 1 |
And so do all of you <3
|
NoLightOnlyDarkness
| 1 | 0 | 2 |
2020-03-11 20:55:15
|
getting_over_it
|
And so do all of you <3
| 0 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
random
| true | 0 |
ep73bh
|
it’s over
|
0
|
chitchat
| 1 |
a week from today i get on a plane with my cats and dog and i’ll never have to see my abuser again. i just wanted to share, i’m proud of myself.
|
throwaway18951937
| 1 | 0 | 18 |
2020-01-15 19:33:50
|
domesticviolence
|
<es>a week from today i get on a plane with my cats and dog and i’ll never have to see my abuser again.<ee> i just wanted to share, i’m proud of myself.
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
who abused you
|
How did X make you feel?
|
the abuse
|
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you have escaped your abuser
| null | true | 100 |
eisx44
|
i want to cut again
|
0
|
help-seeking
| 1 |
i cut myself for the first time just yesterday and i already want to do it again. how do u stop the urges? How do u distract your mind? My cut wasnt very deep so its basically healed i think so it just makes me want to cut again going 1 cut at a time
also, how bad does the cut scar if it isnt that deep
|
henry11111111
| 1 | 0 | 1 |
2020-01-02 03:55:39
|
selfharm
|
<es>i cut myself for the first time just yesterday and i already want to do it again.<ee><rs> how do u stop the urges?<re> <rs>How do u distract your mind?<re> <es>My cut wasnt very deep so its basically healed i think so it just makes me want to cut again going 1 cut at a time<ee> <rs>also, how bad does the cut scar if it isnt that deep<re>
| 1 | 0 | 2 |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
why you cut yourself yesterday
|
How did X make you feel?
|
cutting yourself
| null | null | null | true | 102 |
eiqkqr
|
Relationship anxiety
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 1 |
I'm super lucky to have an incredible girlfriend who is literally my rock, she listens to everything that's on my mind and every anxious thought I have and still accepts me for who I am. I constantly get anxiety that I'm not good enough for her or even sometimes I get intrusive thoughts about me not loving her or that I'm leading her on, even though I know this isn't true because I get super anxious at the thought of leaving her. Does anyone else deal with this? What do you do to help yourself?
|
DarrenStill
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
2020-01-02 00:44:27
|
Anxiety
|
<es>I'm super lucky to have an incredible girlfriend who is literally my rock, she listens to everything that's on my mind and every anxious thought I have and still accepts me for who I am.<ee> <es>I constantly get anxiety that I'm not good enough for her or even sometimes I get intrusive thoughts about me not loving her or that I'm leading her on, even though I know this isn't true because I get super anxious at the thought of leaving her.<ee> <rs>Does anyone else deal with this?<re> <rs>What do you do to help yourself?<re>
| 2 | 0 | 2 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null |
How did X make you feel?
|
the intrusive thoughts
| null | null | null | true | 202 |
ele714
|
Im addicted to weed and nobody knows..
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 2 |
Im addicted to weed. Nobody knows.
As the title says - Im hella addicted to weed... I need help to kick this addiction away from my life, or it might turn out bad...
I’ve smoked the last 12 years. Every day. Im 27.
I smoke From when i wake up, until i go to sleep. It is kinda my ritual now. I dont even get high anymore. Its more just to numb the feelings and real life, if it “gets too close” when i haven’t smoked for hours. Im sick and tired of it.. I really want to stop.. But i simply can’t. I’ve tried at least 20 times the last 3 years But nothing seems to work for me.
I had a good childhood, but made all the wrong choices. I was the one that always said yes if i knew somebody would laugh,smile etc. It made me do some stupid shit which at one time also made me go to jail(gave some “friends” a lift to a location which they vandalised and gave me the blame). But back to the problem... I now have a son and a girlfriend which i love very much, but i still smoke. It makes me distance myself from my son and girlfriend more and more by the day, and it tears me up inside. Which makes me smoke even more... My son and girlfriend has never seen me sober.. Im in a vicious circle that i need to get out of ASAP. I need your advice fellow redditers!
Please ask if there is anything you want to know which could help you understand my situation.
Sorry for my lack of english grammar.
|
Motherhazelhoff
| 1 | 0 | 3 |
2020-01-07 16:58:47
|
addiction
|
<es>Im addicted to weed.<ee> Nobody knows. <es>As the title says - Im hella addicted to weed...<ee> <rs>I need help to kick this addiction away from my life, or it might turn out bad...<re> <es>I’ve smoked the last 12 years.<ee> <es>Every day.<ee. <es>Im 27. <ee> <es>I smoke From when i wake up, until i go to sleep.<ee> <es>It is kinda my ritual now.<ee> <es>I dont even get high anymore.<ee> <es>Its more just to numb the feelings and real life, if it “gets too close” when i haven’t smoked for hours.<ee> <efs>Im sick and tired of it..<efe> <rs>I really want to stop..<re> But i simply can’t. <es>I’ve tried at least 20 times the last 3 years But nothing seems to work for me. <ee> <es>I had a good childhood, but made all the wrong choices.<ee> <es>I was the one that always said yes if i knew somebody would laugh,smile etc.<ee> <es>It made me do some stupid shit which at one time also made me go to jail(gave some “friends” a lift to a location which they vandalised and gave me the blame).<ee> <es>But back to the problem... I now have a son and a girlfriend which i love very much, but i still smoke.<ee> <efs>It makes me distance myself from my son and girlfriend more and more by the day, and it tears me up inside.<efe> <es>Which makes me smoke even more...<ee> <es>My son and girlfriend has never seen me sober..<ee> <rs>Im in a vicious circle that i need to get out of ASAP.<re> <rs>I need your advice fellow redditers!<re> Please ask if there is anything you want to know which could help you understand my situation. Sorry for my lack of english grammar.
| 2 | 1 | 2 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
how taking weed makes you feel
| null | null | null | true | 212 |
eop8qe
|
DAE Cry suddenly for no reason? Like uncontrolably? In public?
|
1a
|
survey
| 1 |
The other day i was at starbucks and i was literally just waiting in line for coffee.
When it came my turn to order i started talking and then i made this weird gulping sound and then felt like hitting my chest for some reason. I apologized but i could not get any more words out. He could tell something was wrong so i excused myself. And walked back home.
On the walk home i had to hide in a alley because what came out wasnt tears but hysterical laughter. I didnt find anything funny but i was laughing so hard and I didnt want to. I felt like the Joker.
Anyways i have background of mental illness. The final diagnosis was Trauma Induced Bipolar 2, and Severe PTSD. I take 6 medications. So i was suprised to be doing what I did while being on meds. I see my psych in a few days, maybe he needs to tweak the ingredients in my cocktail.
What i really wanna know is if any of you have had this happen to you before?
|
ashhtreeee
| 1 | 0 | 2 |
2020-01-14 18:31:42
|
mentalillness
|
The other day i was at starbucks and i was literally just waiting in line for coffee. <es>When it came my turn to order i started talking and then i made this weird gulping sound and then felt like hitting my chest for some reason.<ee> I apologized but i could not get any more words out. He could tell something was wrong so i excused myself. And walked back home. <es>On the walk home i had to hide in a alley because what came out wasnt tears but hysterical laughter.<ee> <es>I didnt find anything funny but i was laughing so hard and I didnt want to.<ee> I felt like the Joker. <es>Anyways i have background of mental illness. The final diagnosis was Trauma Induced Bipolar 2, and Severe PTSD.<ee> <es>I take 6 medications.<ee> So i was suprised to be doing what I did while being on meds. I see my psych in a few days, maybe he needs to tweak the ingredients in my cocktail. <rs>What i really wanna know is if any of you have had this happen to you before?<re>
| 2 | 0 | 2 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null |
How did X make you feel?
|
the hysterical laughter and tears
| null | null | null | true | 202 |
esm9d3
|
The Conscious Poison That We Feed Each Other
|
0
|
chitchat
| 3 | null |
NickHawkins_
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
2020-01-23 02:01:21
|
selfhelp
| null | 0 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 0 |
ekqhf4
|
Crippling social anxiety
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 1 |
Don’t know what to do. I’m 17 I have super bad anxiety about everything. Like I even get super anxious with going to the doctor/dentist. I just feel so alone. Most of my friends are out living their best life, while I’m always just stuck in my head. I always get told “it gets better” but idk anymore I just feel stuck. I wanna get a job this year, so I can grow socially, But I just feel like I won’t be able to do it. Sometimes I feel like I can do anything and everything with confidence, but most of the time I feel lonely and stuck, and that I’ll never be able to do what I want, cause of social anxiety. I just wanna know if anyone else is like this. And also if you could give me some advice, it would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.
|
CroixScott
| 1 | 0 | 2 |
2020-01-06 07:06:39
|
socialanxiety
|
Don’t know what to do. <es>I’m 17 I have super bad anxiety about everything.<ee> <es>Like I even get super anxious with going to the doctor/dentist.<ee> <efs>I just feel so alone.<efe> <es>Most of my friends are out living their best life, while I’m always just stuck in my head.<ee> <efs>I always get told “it gets better” but idk anymore I just feel stuck.<efe> <efs>I wanna get a job this year, so I can grow socially, But I just feel like I won’t be able to do it.<efe> <efs>Sometimes I feel like I can do anything and everything with confidence, but most of the time I feel lonely and stuck, and that I’ll never be able to do what I want, cause of social anxiety.<efe> <rs>I just wanna know if anyone else is like this.<re> <rs>And also if you could give me some advice, it would be greatly appreciated.<re> Thank you.
| 2 | 2 | 2 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 222 |
emgjrn
|
I’m worried my boyfriend is going downhill.
|
1b
|
help-seeking
| 2 |
Hello! As you can tell by my username, I’m a worried girlfriend dating someone who wants to become sober.
Before I continue I guess I should give some information about my boyfriend:
He’s 21, in college, and he struggles from depression. He used to get high a lot behind my back, had a fake med card that he willingly gave me to destroy. He went through THC withdrawal and was seriously tired and sick because of it. That’s gotten better. My main concern is that he’s resorted to other outlets to escape his problems. He sleeps a lot mainly but lately he’s been getting drunk by noon and he’s stolen adderall from his friend twice. He can’t control himself if it’s in his presence; although I will be moving in by March, I can’t baby him and be controlling.
He just started therapy and has been on his antidepressants for some time now, yet he still feels like he can never get better. He wants to sober up, he always feels guilty when he gets drunk or sleeps a lot which creates this loop of escaping his problems in the way he does and feeling guilty. I’ve tried being there for him whenever I can, and some days he feels better than others. I try to remind him that it takes time to get better and that no addict really knows when or how to start getting better, that it’s gonna be trial and error until he finds something that works for him.
How do I help him on his bad days? What can I do to keep the motivation going and how can I provide support without coming off as controlling?
|
worriedgirlfriend98
| 1 | 0 | 2 |
2020-01-09 21:46:16
|
addiction
|
<es>Hello! As you can tell by my username, I’m a worried girlfriend dating someone who wants to become sober. <ee> <es>Before I continue I guess I should give some information about my boyfriend: He’s 21, in college, and he struggles from depression.<ee> <es>He used to get high a lot behind my back, had a fake med card that he willingly gave me to destroy.<ee> <efs>He went through THC withdrawal and was seriously tired and sick because of it.<efe> <es>That’s gotten better.<ee> <es>My main concern is that he’s resorted to other outlets to escape his problems.<ee> <es>He sleeps a lot mainly but lately he’s been getting drunk by noon and he’s stolen adderall from his friend twice.<ee> <es>He can’t control himself if it’s in his presence; although I will be moving in by March, I can’t baby him and be controlling. <ee> <efs><es>He just started therapy and has been on his antidepressants for some time now, yet he still feels like he can never get better.<ee><efe> <efs>He wants to sober up, he always feels guilty when he gets drunk or sleeps a lot which creates this loop of escaping his problems in the way he does and feeling guilty.<efe> I’ve tried being there for him whenever I can, and some days he feels better than others. I try to remind him that it takes time to get better and that no addict really knows when or how to start getting better, that it’s gonna be trial and error until he finds something that works for him. <rs>How do I help him on his bad days?<re> <rs>What can I do to keep the motivation going and how can I provide support without coming off as controlling?<re>
| 2 | 2 | 2 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 222 |
eidz81
|
Feeling insecure in my relationships
|
1a
|
rant
| 1 |
Every time I express affection with my close friends, I feel grossed out with myself, ashamed, and repulsive. It’s so hard to see myself as a person that my friends love because all my life I saw myself as the repulsive weirdo that nobody wants anything to do with.
|
throwaway1207201
| 1 | 0 | 1 |
2020-01-01 04:33:47
|
Anxiety
|
<efs>Every time I express affection with my close friends, I feel grossed out with myself, ashamed, and repulsive.<efe> <efs>It’s so hard to see myself as a person that my friends love because all my life I saw myself as the repulsive weirdo that nobody wants anything to do with.<efe>
| 0 | 2 | 0 |
What made you feel X ?
|
grossed out with yourself
| null | null |
What can help you overcome X ?
|
the self loathing
| null | true | 20 |
eiaei5
|
We’re entering a new decade and I still feel like shit : (
|
1a
|
rant
| 1 |
I’m trying to think positively, maybe things will change this year, who knows but I doubt it to be honest. This is gonna be a big decade for me, a decade of lots of pain and challenges and I don’t think I’ll be able to make it till the next decade. Sorry if I sound so pessimistic, I just don’t want to get my hopes up you know and get hurt again.
I wish you all a happy new year or at least a bare-able one : ).
|
AnotherTrowaway12
| 1 | 0 | 1 |
2019-12-31 23:11:56
|
depression
|
<efs>We’re entering a new decade and I still feel like shit : (<efe> I’m trying to think positively, maybe things will change this year, who knows but I doubt it to be honest. This is gonna be a big decade for me, a decade of lots of pain and challenges and I don’t think I’ll be able to make it till the next decade. Sorry if I sound so pessimistic, I just don’t want to get my hopes up you know and get hurt again. I wish you all a happy new year or at least a bare-able one : ).
| 0 | 1 | 0 |
What made you feel X ?
|
bad
|
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
how you feel about the new year
|
What can help you overcome X ?
|
feeling pessimistic about new year
| null | true | 10 |
euswtx
|
I talk to confront my trauma, is it appropriate to talk to my partner about it this much?
|
1b
|
help-seeking
| 2 |
For context, I’ve found that I am currently in a cycle of grieving where I will be fine with my past for about a week and a half, and then I will feel anger or self-loathing creep up on me and I will need to talk it out with someone for a few minutes or write about it somewhere. If I don’t, I hold onto it and it eats at me for 3-4 days.
I was coerced into rigging situations and slave roleplay for 2 years with my ex. I wanted to have sex with him, but not that kind. I did not want to speak up for fear of losing him; we broke up in March 2018 and I met my current partner in June. I am happier and healthier now than I have ever been, and I can’t wait to see what our future holds.
My current partner has explained previously that he hated when I brought up my trauma because the image of my ex inflicting these acts on me sickened him, and made him too angry to be able to support me when I have brought previous experiences up to him. I stopped when he asked me to because I honestly didn’t know it was making him uncomfortable.
Recently, he asked me about something I chose to post about on a social account in lieu of talking to him, because that’s a void for me to shout into, like a journal. I answered him honestly, and I told him I was surprised he’d asked, though it made me feel better knowing that he’d reached out to me about it. He then pressed me to explain why I talked about it, and this is what I’ve said:
I talk about my experience to grieve and acknowledge it, so that I can move on. I don’t forget it, as I haven’t forgotten the horrific torment I experienced in grade school for my sexuality; I can be at peace and not forget these things. I tried to bring up my sexual trauma with him because I felt safe, I felt like I could trust him, and when he said that he couldn’t talk about it and got angry with me, I stopped because I respected that; it was a boundary I wouldn’t cross again. I talk about my experiences to compartmentalize them, to find myself again, to find reason to validate that I was not wrong, that I was not sick and disgusting and deserving of the treatment I received.
He then said that if I needed to talk to him about it I could bring up my trauma to him. I don’t know that I’ll need to for a long time, as I feel I am in a better place with it now than I was several weeks ago. I just...don’t know that it’s appropriate for me to talk to him about it, his previous boundary considered. What is my responsibility here? I feel like I should just talk to a therapist and not air it elsewhere.
|
onlytoadpout
| 1 | 0 | 1 |
2020-01-27 19:26:33
|
rapecounseling
|
<rs>I talk to confront my trauma, is it appropriate to talk to my partner about it this much?<re> <efs>For context, I’ve found that I am currently in a cycle of grieving where I will be fine with my past for about a week and a half, and then I will feel anger or self-loathing creep up on me and I will need to talk it out with someone for a few minutes or write about it somewhere.<efe> <es>If I don’t, I hold onto it and it eats at me for 3-4 days.<ee> <es>I was coerced into rigging situations and slave roleplay for 2 years with my ex.<ee> <es>I wanted to have sex with him, but not that kind.<ee> <es>I did not want to speak up for fear of losing him; we broke up in March 2018 and I met my current partner in June.<ee> <efs>I am happier and healthier now than I have ever been, and I can’t wait to see what our future holds.<efe> <es>My current partner has explained previously that he hated when I brought up my trauma because the image of my ex inflicting these acts on me sickened him, and made him too angry to be able to support me when I have brought previous experiences up to him.<ee> <es>I stopped when he asked me to because I honestly didn’t know it was making him uncomfortable.<ee> <es>Recently, he asked me about something I chose to post about on a social account in lieu of talking to him, because that’s a void for me to shout into, like a journal.<ee> <es>I answered him honestly, and I told him I was surprised he’d asked, though it made me feel better knowing that he’d reached out to me about it.<ee> <es>He then pressed me to explain why I talked about it, and this is what I’ve said: I talk about my experience to grieve and acknowledge it, so that I can move on.<ee> <es>I don’t forget it, as I haven’t forgotten the horrific torment I experienced in grade school for my sexuality; I can be at peace and not forget these things.<ee> <es>I tried to bring up my sexual trauma with him because I felt safe, I felt like I could trust him, and when he said that he couldn’t talk about it and got angry with me, I stopped because I respected that; it was a boundary I wouldn’t cross again.<ee> <efs>I talk about my experiences to compartmentalize them, to find myself again, to find reason to validate that I was not wrong, that I was not sick and disgusting and deserving of the treatment I received.<efe> <es>He then said that if I needed to talk to him about it I could bring up my trauma to him.<ee> <efs>I don’t know that I’ll need to for a long time, as I feel I am in a better place with it now than I was several weeks ago.<efe> <es>I just...don’t know that it’s appropriate for me to talk to him about it, his previous boundary considered.<ee> <rs>What is my responsibility here?<re> <efs>I feel like I should just talk to a therapist and not air it elsewhere.<efe>
| 2 | 2 | 2 | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 222 |
elg8te
|
Doesn’t it suck when you’re in a bad place and only want to talk to 1 person from this whole earth and he/she is unavailable? Dude... I don’t know, but I need a specific shoulder to cry on... and looks like I can’t have it.
|
0
|
rant
| 1 | null |
DrBianca
| 1 | 0 | 11 |
2020-01-07 19:22:17
|
sad
|
<es>Doesn’t it suck when you’re in a bad place and only want to talk to 1 person from this whole earth and he/she is unavailable?<ee> <rs>Dude... I don’t know, but I need a specific shoulder to cry on... and looks like I can’t have it.<re> nan
| 1 | 0 | 2 |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
what bad instance happened with you
|
How did X make you feel?
|
the person being unavailable
| null | null | null | true | 102 |
eidpua
|
I hate how hypocritical anxiety is
|
1a
|
rant
| 1 |
I'll take tonight (NYE) as example. My anxiety tells me I should be out having fun. Even if it's with close friends. Hell, my SIXTY year old parents are out at a party. I'm 29 and home.
Anxiety tells me I should be going out and stop wasting life away at home. But if I go out, anxiety will tell me to hide away.
I'm on two medications for anxiety. Clearly doing a great job. 🙄🙄
|
GreenPandaPower
| 1 | 0 | 1 |
2020-01-01 04:06:28
|
Anxiety
|
I'll take tonight (NYE) as example. <es>My anxiety tells me I should be out having fun.<ee> Even if it's with close friends. <es>Hell, my SIXTY year old parents are out at a party.<ee> <es>I'm 29 and home. <ee> <es>Anxiety tells me I should be going out and stop wasting life away at home.<ee> <efs>But if I go out, anxiety will tell me to hide away. <efe> <es>I'm on two medications for anxiety.<ee> Clearly doing a great job. 🙄🙄
| 1 | 1 | 0 |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
what makes you anxious
|
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
how you feel after going out
|
What do you need help with now that X?
|
the drugs are not helping reduce your anxiety
| null | true | 110 |
eidj8e
|
Adhd makes me hate life sometimes
|
1a
|
rant
| 1 |
As the title says, Adhd makes it hard to enjoy life sometimes. Today was supposed to be a very good day and I’m supposed to be getting ready for a New Years Eve party, but instead I’m isolating myself in my room being depressed about how everything is so hard for me and how everything at work today went wrong. It’s so easy for me to go from a 9/10 mood to 4/10 just from a criticizing remark, but when they keep coming I get extremely low and it feels impossible for me to be back in a good mood. Hope this year will get easier for me as I’ve just started seeing my doctor and am on my first trial of medication. Keep strong, all my adhd friends out there 🙌🏼💪🏼
|
herrbaguette
| 1 | 0 | 17 |
2020-01-01 03:48:06
|
ADHD
|
<es>As the title says, Adhd makes it hard to enjoy life sometimes.<ee> <es>Today was supposed to be a very good day and I’m supposed to be getting ready for a New Years Eve party, but instead I’m isolating myself in my room being depressed about how everything is so hard for me and how everything at work today went wrong. <ee><efs>It’s so easy for me to go from a 9/10 mood to 4/10 just from a criticizing remark, but when they keep coming I get extremely low and it feels impossible for me to be back in a good mood.<efe> Hope this year will get easier for me as I’ve just started seeing my doctor and am on my first trial of medication. Keep strong, all my adhd friends out there 🙌🏼💪🏼
| 2 | 2 | 0 | null | null | null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
|
adhd is making it hard for you to enjoy life
| null | true | 220 |
f2gf7u
|
How do I help my mom leave an abusive relationship
|
1b
|
help-seeking
| 2 |
My mom's (50F) boyfriend (M/0ish) hit her a few weeks ago.
Due to our current economic situation, we couldn't leave. We are both staying at his house, he pays for everything and I don't have any money right now, she has a job but is not enough for us to pay for another place to stay. This is a fairly small town and she doesn't want to stay in a place because she thinks he's not dangerous.
Time is passing and he is being succesfull at convincing her that he has done more good things that bad things. He spent two days crying, not eating and manipulating, telling her he is going to pay her debt and give her anything she wants.
I don't know what else to do, I recently left an abusive relationship myself and I know how abuse works. I know this is the honeymoon and she is forgetting how scare she was when he hit her, he even has a gun in the house.
I have to leave to another city in less than three weeks and if she doesn't leave him while I'm here trying to help her, I'm scared that she is not going to leave ever and the abuse will escalate. I know it will escalate, she doesn't believe me.
We are not in our country of origin and the only relatives we have live 3 hours away, we can go there but she would be out of work and we don't know if we can afford to be one month without income.
I don't know what else to do or if there is something else to do. Any ideas to convince her? Any advice for me?
|
anonymouspinneaple
| 1 | 0 | 8 |
2020-02-11 22:32:48
|
domesticviolence
|
<es>My mom's (50F) boyfriend (M/0ish) hit her a few weeks ago.<ee> <es>Due to our current economic situation, we couldn't leave.<ee> <es>We are both staying at his house, he pays for everything and I don't have any money right now, she has a job but is not enough for us to pay for another place to stay.<ee> <es>This is a fairly small town and she doesn't want to stay in a place because she thinks he's not dangerous.<ee> <es>Time is passing and he is being succesfull at convincing her that he has done more good things that bad things.<ee> <es>He spent two days crying, not eating and manipulating, telling her he is going to pay her debt and give her anything she wants.<ee> <es>I don't know what else to do, I recently left an abusive relationship myself and I know how abuse works.<ee> <es>I know this is the honeymoon and she is forgetting how scare she was when he hit her, he even has a gun in the house.<ee> <efs>I have to leave to another city in less than three weeks and if she doesn't leave him while I'm here trying to help her, I'm scared that she is not going to leave ever and the abuse will escalate.<efe> <es>I know it will escalate, she doesn't believe me.<ee> <es>We are not in our country of origin and the only relatives we have live 3 hours away, we can go there but she would be out of work and we don't know if we can afford to be one month without income.<ee> <rs>I don't know what else to do or if there is something else to do.<re> <rs>Any ideas to convince her?<re> <rs>Any advice for me?<re>
| 2 | 2 | 2 | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 222 |
eif4rh
|
Can someone direct me to helpful posts on dealing with work bullies???
|
1b
|
help-seeking
| 1 |
In the past year, I’ve had 3 different jobs, and 3 different bullies at those jobs. I got bullied in elementary & middle school, and I always perceived bullying as a child’s issue.
I never realized that in the “real” world that I’d be a target again. Obviously I’m pretty shy and don’t have many friends since I’m posting here.
I just hate how a bully can immediately sense my insecurity and sniff it out. Then proceed to make me miserable by exploiting it.
HELP
|
buck0128
| 1 | 0 | 4 |
2020-01-01 06:29:00
|
socialanxiety
|
<es>In the past year, I’ve had 3 different jobs, and 3 different bullies at those jobs.<ee> <es>I got bullied in elementary & middle school, and I always perceived bullying as a child’s issue. <ee> I never realized that in the “real” world that I’d be a target again. <es>Obviously I’m pretty shy and don’t have many friends since I’m posting here. <ee> <es>I just hate how a bully can immediately sense my insecurity and sniff it out.<ee> <es>Then proceed to make me miserable by exploiting it.<ee> HELP
| 2 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null |
How did X make you feel?
|
bullying
|
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you get bullied at your job
| null | true | 200 |
ff4emp
|
A big change is causing big changes in me.
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 1 |
After being unemployed for a year, I finally got a job, and since day 1 I've been fighting depression and panic attacks like crazy. It's not a bad job, and its not a stressful job, but man, I am having a hell of a time. Headaches, tired, joyless, panic about panic attacks, loss of appetite, etc. I should be much more relaxed now that I have a job, but I'm really not, and I do not get it. I have been isolated for a long time and I still am. Did I think the new job was going to solve the isolation? I don't know anyone there yet. Am I legit loosing it? Will it just go away on its own? I know I should fight it, but I kind of don't want to. I have plans coming up and I want to bail on them, which is the exact opposite of what I should do, but I'm nervous about getting panic attack in a theater. But, a comedy show would be something I need, right? Do I just fight my way thru this? Do I need to take myself to urgent care? Can I just exercise my way thru it?
I'd love to hear from you all, even just for the hellos...
|
thebufferingbrain
| 1 | 0 | 1 |
2020-03-08 00:28:37
|
getting_over_it
|
<es>After being unemployed for a year, I finally got a job, and since day 1 I've been fighting depression and panic attacks like crazy.<ee> <es>It's not a bad job, and its not a stressful job, but man, I am having a hell of a time.<Ee> <efs>Headaches, tired, joyless, panic about panic attacks, loss of appetite, etc.<efe> <efs>I should be much more relaxed now that I have a job, but I'm really not, and I do not get it.<efe> <es>I have been isolated for a long time and I still am.<ee> <es>Did I think the new job was going to solve the isolation?<ee> <es>I don't know anyone there yet.<ee> <rs>Am I legit loosing it?<re> <rs>Will it just go away on its own?<re> <rs>I know I should fight it, but I kind of don't want to.<re> <efs>I have plans coming up and I want to bail on them, which is the exact opposite of what I should do, but I'm nervous about getting panic attack in a theater.<efe> <rs>But, a comedy show would be something I need, right?<re> <rs>Do I just fight my way thru this?<re> <rs>Do I need to take myself to urgent care?<re> <rs>Can I just exercise my way thru it?<re> <rs>I'd love to hear from you all, even just for the hellos...<re>
| 2 | 2 | 2 | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 222 |
ej562n
|
How to be a better person getting off drugs.
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 1 |
I've always dabbled in coke but never been an everyday user. Recently I've been stressed out and my partner does it alot so I've been doing it everyday as more of a coping mechanism over the last couple of months (they always have it around so it's easy for me)
The reason I mainly want to stop is that it makes me a massive dick the next day. I'm so angry and moody and have a quick temper.
I'm currently Weaning myself off it, that bit is fine but I would like to ask if anyone has any advice for me coping with the morning after without being such an ass? I'm fine while doing it and have a great time but it just ruins the next morning for me and me and my partner start every morning on a shitty start because I'm a massive shit head when I wake up. I love my partner and feel like I push them away because everyday starts off on a bad note. I've always suffered from deoression/anxiety and this is a symptom for me so I'm not sure if it's just the fact that the coke is bringing me down mentally.
Not sure if this is the right sub hut any help appreciated.
Thanks
|
issasecretyouknow
| 3 | 0 | 10 |
2020-01-02 22:07:06
|
addiction
|
<es>I've always dabbled in coke but never been an everyday user.<ee> <efs>Recently I've been stressed out and my partner does it alot so I've been doing it everyday as more of a coping mechanism over the last couple of months (they always have it around so it's easy for me) <efe> <efs>The reason I mainly want to stop is that it makes me a massive dick the next day.<efe> <efs>I'm so angry and moody and have a quick temper.<efe> <rs>I'm currently Weaning myself off it, that bit is fine but I would like to ask if anyone has any advice for me coping with the morning after without being such an ass?<re> <efs>I'm fine while doing it and have a great time but it just ruins the next morning for me and me and my partner start every morning on a shitty start because I'm a massive shit head when I wake up.<efe> <efs>I love my partner and feel like I push them away because everyday starts off on a bad note.<efe> <es>I've always suffered from deoression/anxiety and this is a symptom for me so I'm not sure if it's just the fact that the coke is bringing me down mentally. <ee> Not sure if this is the right sub hut any help appreciated. Thanks
| 1 | 2 | 2 |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
what made you stressed
| null | null | null | null | null | true | 122 |
esz9yo
|
Honesty
|
0
|
help-seeking
| 1 |
For part of my degree I have to state what inspired me to pick my major. A huge part of it was how I was treated during difficult medical testing. I didn’t disclose my rape back then but I’m not sure how to word it all when I discuss my inspiration. The abuse and amazing medical professionals made a huge difference for me. I don’t mind going into detail I’m just not sure how. It completely changed my career path. Any advice would be nice.
|
salt_free_snow
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
2020-01-23 20:55:13
|
rapecounseling
|
<es>For part of my degree I have to state what inspired me to pick my major.<ee> <es>A huge part of it was how I was treated during difficult medical testing.<ee> <es>I didn’t disclose my rape back then but I’m not sure how to word it all when I discuss my inspiration.<ee> <es>The abuse and amazing medical professionals made a huge difference for me.<ee> <es>I don’t mind going into detail I’m just not sure how.<ee> <es>It completely changed my career path.<ee> <rs>Any advice would be nice.<re>
| 2 | 0 | 1 | null | null |
How did X make you feel?
|
the rape
|
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
what would help you talk about the incident
| null | true | 201 |
eip6dz
|
New Year's Resolution
|
0
|
chitchat
| 1 |
I was trying to figure out what my New Year's resolution(s) should be this next rotation around the sun. I recalled that my on past resolutions aimed at curbing behaviors have been perfect. By perfect, I mean that I've relapsed or reverted on them 100% of the time.
This time I'm taking the minimalist approach where less is more. I'm resolving to stop trying to fix my character defects in 2020 and allow my HP do that for a change.
I can't. He can. I think I'll let him!
|
-brokenarrow-
| 1 | 0 | 3 |
2020-01-01 22:55:27
|
alcoholicsanonymous
|
I was trying to figure out what my New Year's resolution(s) should be this next rotation around the sun. I recalled that my on past resolutions aimed at curbing behaviors have been perfect. By perfect, I mean that I've relapsed or reverted on them 100% of the time. This time I'm taking the minimalist approach where less is more. I'm resolving to stop trying to fix my character defects in 2020 and allow my HP do that for a change. I can't. He can. I think I'll let him!
| 0 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
random
| true | 0 |
epwjzp
|
People walking past.
|
1b
|
rant
| 1 |
Alot of people walked past me at the bakery today and no one cared to smile or say hello. It's really starting to hit home that some people have the audacity to even fucking breathe around me.
|
cheese_monkey_92
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
2020-01-17 06:19:14
|
mentalillness
|
Alot of people walked past me at the bakery today and no one cared to smile or say hello. It's really starting to hit home that some people have the audacity to even fucking breathe around me.
| 0 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 0 |
ejjvrs
|
Detox.
|
1b
|
help-seeking
| 2 |
Hi all! Well as some of you may have read I had to throw my daughters mother out a few days ago. She’s addicted to crack and I had enough of the lies, stealing, cheating and drug use. She’s left the baby home alone on at least 2 occasions and I just can’t anymore.... so she went into detox this morning but I don’t think she’s serious about it at all. I think she’s just doing it in hopes that I’ll let her come back home. I’m glad she’s there but I’m not hopeful. This is probably the 5th or 6th time she’s been to rehab in the last 12 months. She flat out asked me yesterday if I thought there was a reason for her to go to detox. So I’m not hopeful at all to be honest.
What do you guys think?
Ps. I also can’t thank this group enough. You have been more supportive than I would have imagined. Thank you.
|
throwaway-321-123
| 1 | 0 | 10 |
2020-01-03 18:57:54
|
addiction
|
<es>Hi all! Well as some of you may have read I had to throw my daughters mother out a few days ago.<ee> <es>She’s addicted to crack and I had enough of the lies, stealing, cheating and drug use.<ee> <es>She’s left the baby home alone on at least 2 occasions and I just can’t anymore.... so she went into detox this morning but I don’t think she’s serious about it at all.<ee> <es>I think she’s just doing it in hopes that I’ll let her come back home.<ee> <efs>I’m glad she’s there but I’m not hopeful.<efe> <es>This is probably the 5th or 6th time she’s been to rehab in the last 12 months.<ee> <es>She flat out asked me yesterday if I thought there was a reason for her to go to detox.<ee> <efs>So I’m not hopeful at all to be honest. <efe> <rs>What do you guys think? <re> Ps. I also can’t thank this group enough. You have been more supportive than I would have imagined. Thank you.
| 2 | 2 | 1 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
what would help you wife getting detox
| null | true | 221 |
exctt2
|
Reoccurring memories
|
1a
|
rant
| 1 |
I seem to go through small phases where my trauma just comes back at me. I've been having the same reoccurring memory for a couple days now and my anxiety has been persistent throughout this period. My heart rate is constantly up there. I've dealt with this before. I'm just so exhausted. I work as a cashier and I spend all day smiling and telling everyone I'm "delightful thanks for asking". I'm just riding the struggle bus rn I guess. I dont want to talk to my fiance about it as he worries and he'll pester me to go back to therapy and I dont want to right now. I just want this to go away
|
hunnycont
| 1 | 0 | 3 |
2020-02-01 21:21:29
|
rapecounseling
|
<es>I seem to go through small phases where my trauma just comes back at me.<ee> <es>I've been having the same reoccurring memory for a couple days now.<ee> <efs>my anxiety has been persistent throughout this period.<efe> <efs>My heart rate is constantly up there.<efe> <es>I've dealt with this before.<ee> <efs>I'm just so exhausted.<Efe> <es>I work as a cashier and I spend all day smiling and telling everyone I'm "delightful thanks for asking".<ee> <es>I'm just riding the struggle bus rn I guess.<ee> <es>I dont want to talk to my fiance about it as he worries and he'll pester me to go back to therapy and I dont want to right now.<ee> I just want this to go away
| 1 | 2 | 0 |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
your trauma
| null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you are exhausted from your reoccurring trauma
| null | true | 120 |
eu15c8
|
Jobs for depressed people who hate working but need to?
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 2 |
I support myself almost entirely, medical, bills, groceries, everything, so work is a non-option. I split the rent with my partner, but the rest is on me. I also have a lot of generalized anxiety, not necessarily social, and I burn out very quickly.
I've worked a lot of public-facing jobs that are sort of... low level political. Like "I'm filing a complaint with the county council because I'm a rich asshole and you didn't give me everything I wanted" type jobs where every word you say is criticized. Also taught English and worked retail. Worked in an office once, but just couldn't get the hang of it.
I'm in my mid-30s and I just... can't keep job-hopping and burning out. I've lived with depression my whole life- have the diagnosis, on meds, tried and quit therapy, the whole deal. It is just something I have to live with.
The fact is, I've had over a dozen jobs and hated all of them. I make do. Try to focus on the paycheck, but I'm tired. I'm stressed. There are days where I can't eat because my stomach hurts from stress.
It's not the job. It's just working.
Are there jobs that pay decently that someone with depression and a really low stress tolerance can reliably do? And I'm talking 50K at least. I don't live in a cheap area and honestly being able to afford nice things once in a while is a pretty big deal (seriously you wanna talk about stress? Try being poor. It sucks).
|
Prior-Guidance
| 1 | 0 | 24 |
2020-01-26 03:04:15
|
getting_over_it
|
<es>I support myself almost entirely, medical, bills, groceries, everything, so work is a non-option.<ee> <es>I split the rent with my partner, but the rest is on me.<ee> <es>I also have a lot of generalized anxiety, not necessarily social, and I burn out very quickly.<ee> <es>I've worked a lot of public-facing jobs that are sort of... low level political.<ee> <es>Like "I'm filing a complaint with the county council because I'm a rich asshole and you didn't give me everything I wanted" type jobs where every word you say is criticized.<ee> <es>Also taught English and worked retail.<ee> <es>Worked in an office once, but just couldn't get the hang of it.<eE> <es>I'm in my mid-30s and I just... can't keep job-hopping and burning out.<ee> <es>I've lived with depression my whole life- have the diagnosis, on meds, tried and quit therapy, the whole deal.<ee> It is just something I have to live with. <es>The fact is, I've had over a dozen jobs and hated all of them.<ee> <es>I make do.<ee> <efs>Try to focus on the paycheck, but I'm tired. I'm stressed.<efe> <efs>There are days where I can't eat because my stomach hurts from stress.<efe> <es>It's not the job.<ee> <es>It's just working.<ee> <rs>Are there jobs that pay decently that someone with depression and a really low stress tolerance can reliably do?<re> <rs>And I'm talking 50K at least.<re> <es>I don't live in a cheap area and honestly being able to afford nice things once in a while is a pretty big deal (seriously you wanna talk about stress? Try being poor. It sucks).<ee>
| 2 | 2 | 2 | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 222 |
ekajfi
|
I feel so helpless.
|
1b
|
rant
| 1 |
I saw where someone earlier in this sub said that they heard in some states you could report a sexual assault without facing the person face to face, so I asked if it applied for my state in r/legaladviceofftopic and someone replied pretty rudely honestly. They said that it’s ridiculous that it would even be possible, and that my rapist could sue me for accusing him. As if it’s not true. And even my own boyfriend agreed. “I mean you have no proof a jury would see he was innocent. You don’t have proof no one else was even there.” And I just... I feel so hopeless. The whole reason I didn’t want to come forward is because I don’t want my mom to know, and I don’t want to have to face him. But then I found out he tried to do it to someone else. And I thought about taking some kind of legal action. And my own boyfriend doesn’t even have faith in me. Does he even believe me? I just feel so so alone.
|
spidey-man01
| 3 | 0 | 1 |
2020-01-05 08:46:30
|
rapecounseling
|
<es>I saw where someone earlier in this sub said that they heard in some states you could report a sexual assault without facing the person face to face, so I asked if it applied for my state in r/legaladviceofftopic and someone replied pretty rudely honestly.<ee> <es>They said that it’s ridiculous that it would even be possible, and that my rapist could sue me for accusing him.<ee> <es>As if it’s not true.<ee> <es>And even my own boyfriend agreed.<ee> <es>“I mean you have no proof a jury would see he was innocent. You don’t have proof no one else was even there.”<ee> <efs>And I just... I feel so hopeless.<efe> <es>The whole reason I didn’t want to come forward is because I don’t want my mom to know, and I don’t want to have to face him.<ee> <es>But then I found out he tried to do it to someone else.<ee> <es>And I thought about taking some kind of legal action.<ee> <es>And my own boyfriend doesn’t even have faith in me.<ee> <es>Does he even believe me?<ee> <efs>I just feel so so alone.<efe>
| 2 | 2 | 0 | null | null | null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
|
your rapist tried to do it with someone else
| null | true | 220 |
eibu9r
|
New year🙃
|
0
|
chitchat
| 1 |
At midnight I text my gf a really heartfelt paragraph saying happy New Years. She replied with “happy new year” and hasn’t been responding for the last hour. Nice way to start the year👍🏼
|
bobthebillyman
| 1 | 0 | 3 |
2020-01-01 01:08:17
|
sad
|
At midnight I text my gf a really heartfelt paragraph saying happy New Years. She replied with “happy new year” and hasn’t been responding for the last hour. Nice way to start the year👍🏼
| 2 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null |
How did X make you feel?
|
the lack of reply
|
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you feel upset about your girlfriend's reply
| null | true | 200 |
etvo8i
|
how can i become more sociable without losing my identity?
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 1 |
as an introvert, i want to socialize and stay as who i am no matter who i'm socializing with. is that possible? i'm too flexible, i start to act like the person in front of me in time whenever i socialize, meanwhile my opinions are usually different.
|
bzadehx
| 1 | 0 | 14 |
2020-01-25 19:57:24
|
selfhelp
|
<rs>how can i become more sociable without losing my identity?<re> <rs>as an introvert, i want to socialize and stay as who i am no matter who i'm socializing with.<re> <rs>is that possible?<re> <es>i'm too flexible, i start to act like the person in front of me in time whenever i socialize, meanwhile my opinions are usually different.<ee>
| 2 | 0 | 2 | null | null |
How did X make you feel?
|
acting like the person you are talking to
| null | null | null | true | 202 |
ejc4e0
|
Sudden decrease in dosage of medication - looking for knowledge and experiences about side effects of this
|
0
|
help-seeking
| 2 |
TLDR: going from 225mg to 150mg of Effexor suddenly. How bad will it be?
I’m currently on 225mg of Effexor/Venlafaxine (an SNRI). I take this daily, in the form of a 150mg capsule and a 75mg capsule. I’ve been on this dosage for about a year now. I have BPD, if it’s relevant.
I have lost (or run out of?) my 75mg capsules. I can’t find any in my house. I’ve searched and searched. I still have a few of my 150mg though, so I took one this morning.
My question is, will the side effects of decreasing my dosage suddenly by 75mg effect me much in terms of mood and side effects? I’ve accidentally gone cold turkey once over a weekend - it was hell, physically and mentally.
It’s Friday night where I am. I currently have no GP. I’m going to try a pharmacy tomorrow to see if I can get even a small prescription so I don’t have to keep taking a smaller dose. On Monday I’m going to contact my psychologist and my last doctors office to sort out a new prescription. I’m not worried about the long term - just how much I’ll suffer if I can’t get any over the next few days lol.
|
ifhy8866
| 2 | 0 | 2 |
2020-01-03 07:28:57
|
BPD
|
<es>TLDR: going from 225mg to 150mg of Effexor suddenly.<ee> <rs>How bad will it be? <re> <es>I’m currently on 225mg of Effexor/Venlafaxine (an SNRI).<ee> <es>I take this daily, in the form of a 150mg capsule and a 75mg capsule.<ee> <es>I’ve been on this dosage for about a year now.<ee> <es>I have BPD, if it’s relevant. <ee> <es>I have lost (or run out of?) my 75mg capsules.<ee> <es>I can’t find any in my house.<ee> <es>I’ve searched and searched.<ee> <es>I still have a few of my 150mg though, so I took one this morning. <ee> <rs>My question is, will the side effects of decreasing my dosage suddenly by 75mg effect me much in terms of mood and side effects?<re> <es>I’ve accidentally gone cold turkey once over a weekend - it was hell, physically and mentally. <ee> <es>It’s Friday night where I am.<ee> <es>I currently have no GP.<ee> <es>I’m going to try a pharmacy tomorrow to see if I can get even a small prescription so I don’t have to keep taking a smaller dose.<ee> <es>On Monday I’m going to contact my psychologist and my last doctors office to sort out a new prescription.<ee> <efs>I’m not worried about the long term - just how much I’ll suffer if I can’t get any over the next few days lol.<efe>
| 2 | 1 | 2 | null | null |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
reducing the dosage of Effexor make you feel
| null | null | null | true | 212 |
f25vrh
|
Feeling like a failed 'survivor.'
|
1b
|
help-seeking
| 3 |
(TW: sexual abuse, physical violence, suicidal ideation) Hey all. This is my first time posting here, but I'd love to get perspectives from both survivors of sexual violence and romantic partners of survivors. Thank you in advance if you read the whole spiel. I really didn't mean to write out my whole fucking story, but I haven't shared it in a long time. 😅
I'm (24f) currently living on my own. I have been in a wonderfully healthy, communicative, and committed relationship for the past 2 years with a lovely partner, but I have a lot of wounds that I'm still trying to heal from my past.
On a rational level, I do not like to compare trauma, or believe that one's feelings are less valid because what happened to them was "not as bad" as the next person over. However, on an emotional level, I still struggle with seeing what happened to me as something that was completely undeserved, and I struggle to validate my pain.
I was coerced into having sex for the first time at the age of 16 by an older schoolmate, and I subsequently had many issues relating to PTSD and attachment issues that affected my future relationships. One high school relationship that continued through my first year of college was with a guy who I truly believe had some issues of his own— I used to dissociate at times during sex while experiencing flashbacks and become physically unresponsive. He would continue having sex with me during those moments, telling me I needed to "learn how to say no" because another guy could take advantage of me when he wasn't around and wouldn't "understand" my issues. Sometimes, I became incredibly distressed or suicidal when re-experiencing my trauma and I would inevitably claw at myself. He used to try to stop me, but then eventually he scratched me to try to get me to "snap out of" my flashbacks or suicidal spells, and eventually, tried choking me as a means of "grounding" me or "scaring" me out of wanting to die. Pain during sex triggered me, and I tried to do exposure sessions in which he'd pinch me and inflict minor pain in order to desensitise me to pain, which he deemed was "normal." Even now, I believe he genuinely thought he was helping me, I really think he was that sick.
And so was I. I feel incredibly ashamed of bringing up these incidents, especially the choking, because I didn't try to stop him at first. I was so depressed and desperate, I went along with anything. Eventually, when I got to college away from him, I did tell him that choking me didn't help, and that I thought we should stop. He agreed. But, it was only a month or two later when one night, I woke up, panicking, (I realize now) craving comfort, and begging him to let me die. He woke up to this, and started choking me again. I was caught off-guard. I... I'm sure many of you know the feeling, but the world became strangely silent, and I started seeing stars (or sparkles). I think i was about to black out, but suddenly, he stopped.
At the time, I'll admit that I had started cheating on him with a college friend of mine. After that incident, I told the friend and he simply said, "You could have died." Somehow, that brought me to reality, and I knew I had to let him go. I returned home at the end of my freshman year and tried to break up with him. He ended up coercing me into having sex one last time with him. It felt like rape to me; he physically stopped me from going up the stairs after I told him to leave with a subtle touch from his hands, and by that point, I didn't feel like I had a choice. I think I was just so brainwashed and conditioned. But I still blame myself for not being aggressive. (Then again, I shouldn't have to punch or yell at someone to get them to respect me?)
Anyway, this was all to say that while I had another boyfriend after him, then many dates, and finally my current partner, I have realized that I am fine in relationships until they get serious. I have no intention of leaving my partner, but the thought of sexual intimacy now terrifies me, and even making out sets me off. I know that healing is a lifelong process, but I can't help but feel like I'm doing it "wrong." I don't feel like what happened to me merits my current issues with PTSD and intimacy, and I just feel an incredible amount of shame and guilt. I'd love to hear from other survivors on if any of you experience similar things where hookups aren't a problem, but committed relationships are, and I'd also love to hear from any partners of survivors on how they support their partners and practice self care in situations like these.
If you got this far in my post, thank you so much for taking the time to read this!
|
nunzkat1257
| 1 | 0 | 1 |
2020-02-11 09:10:24
|
domesticviolence
|
(TW: sexual abuse, physical violence, suicidal ideation) Hey all. <rs>This is my first time posting here, but I'd love to get perspectives from both survivors of sexual violence and romantic partners of survivors.<re> Thank you in advance if you read the whole spiel. I really didn't mean to write out my whole fucking story, but I haven't shared it in a long time. 😅 <es>I'm (24f) currently living on my own.<ee> <es>I have been in a wonderfully healthy, communicative, and committed relationship for the past 2 years with a lovely partner, but I have a lot of wounds that I'm still trying to heal from my past.<ee> <es>On a rational level, I do not like to compare trauma, or believe that one's feelings are less valid because what happened to them was "not as bad" as the next person over.<ee> <es>However, on an emotional level, I still struggle with seeing what happened to me as something that was completely undeserved, and I struggle to validate my pain.<ee> <es>I was coerced into having sex for the first time at the age of 16 by an older schoolmate, and I subsequently had many issues relating to PTSD and attachment issues that affected my future relationships.<ee> <es>One high school relationship that continued through my first year of college was with a guy who I truly believe had some issues of his own— I used to dissociate at times during sex while experiencing flashbacks and become physically unresponsive.<ee> <es>He would continue having sex with me during those moments, telling me I needed to "learn how to say no" because another guy could take advantage of me when he wasn't around and wouldn't "understand" my issues.<ee> <efs>Sometimes, I became incredibly distressed or suicidal when re-experiencing my trauma and I would inevitably claw at myself.<efe> <es>He used to try to stop me, but then eventually he scratched me to try to get me to "snap out of" my flashbacks or suicidal spells, and eventually, tried choking me as a means of "grounding" me or "scaring" me out of wanting to die.<ee> <es>Pain during sex triggered me, and I tried to do exposure sessions in which he'd pinch me and inflict minor pain in order to desensitise me to pain, which he deemed was "normal."<ee> <es>Even now, I believe he genuinely thought he was helping me, I really think he was that sick.<ee> And so was I. <efs>I feel incredibly ashamed of bringing up these incidents, especially the choking, because I didn't try to stop him at first.<efe> <efs>I was so depressed and desperate, I went along with anything.<efe> <es>Eventually, when I got to college away from him, I did tell him that choking me didn't help, and that I thought we should stop.<ee> <es>He agreed.<ee> <es>But, it was only a month or two later when one night, I woke up, panicking, (I realize now) craving comfort, and begging him to let me die.<ee> <es>He woke up to this, and started choking me again.<ee> <es>I was caught off-guard. I... I'm sure many of you know the feeling, but the world became strangely silent, and I started seeing stars (or sparkles).<ee> <es>I think i was about to black out, but suddenly, he stopped.<ee> <es>At the time, I'll admit that I had started cheating on him with a college friend of mine.<ee> <es>After that incident, I told the friend and he simply said, "You could have died."<ee> <es>Somehow, that brought me to reality, and I knew I had to let him go.<ee> <es>I returned home at the end of my freshman year and tried to break up with him.<ee> <es>He ended up coercing me into having sex one last time with him.<ee> <efs>It felt like rape to me; he physically stopped me from going up the stairs after I told him to leave with a subtle touch from his hands, and by that point, I didn't feel like I had a choice.<efe> <efs>I think I was just so brainwashed and conditioned.<efe> <es>But I still blame myself for not being aggressive.<ee> <es>(Then again, I shouldn't have to punch or yell at someone to get them to respect me?)<ee> <es>Anyway, this was all to say that while I had another boyfriend after him, then many dates, and finally my current partner, I have realized that I am fine in relationships until they get serious.<ee> <efs>I have no intention of leaving my partner, but the thought of sexual intimacy now terrifies me, and even making out sets me off.<efe> <efs>I know that healing is a lifelong process, but I can't help but feel like I'm doing it "wrong."<efe> <efs>I don't feel like what happened to me merits my current issues with PTSD and intimacy, and I just feel an incredible amount of shame and guilt.<efe> <rs>I'd love to hear from other survivors on if any of you experience similar things where hookups aren't a problem, but committed relationships are, and I'd also love to hear from any partners of survivors on how they support their partners and practice self care in situations like these.<re> If you got this far in my post, thank you so much for taking the time to read this!
| 2 | 2 | 2 | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 222 |
eiap0i
|
Just struggling
|
1a
|
rant
| 1 |
I feel useless a lot. I deal have dealt with depression since I was 13 y/o and I just don't understand why j can have such extreme highs in life and such extreme lows like right now even without a change in my surroundings or stimuli. I just kinda don't get it. Like as soon as I have been stable on my meds and I'm back on track with life, the next 3 or 4 months are horrible. Depression is a horrible illness and I don't understand why I got stuck with it.
|
rockcellist
| 1 | 0 | 1 |
2019-12-31 23:35:27
|
depression
|
<efs>I feel useless a lot.<efe> <es>I deal have dealt with depression since I was 13 y/o and I just don't understand why j can have such extreme highs in life and such extreme lows like right now even without a change in my surroundings or stimuli.<ee> I just kinda don't get it. <es>Like as soon as I have been stable on my meds and I'm back on track with life, the next 3 or 4 months are horrible.<ee> Depression is a horrible illness and I don't understand why I got stuck with it.
| 1 | 1 | 0 |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
what caused your depression
| null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
|
your few months have been horrible due to depression
| null | true | 110 |
eibsg7
|
I hate New Year’s Eve, too
|
0
|
chitchat
| 1 |
It’s okay if you’re not out celebrating. It’s okay to go to bed at 9. It’s okay if you’re spending tonight without a boyfriend or girlfriend . . . don’t worry about tackling the whole decade at once. Take today, make whatever you want of it, and take a nap.
|
YeOldeAnonymous
| 1 | 0 | 8 |
2020-01-01 01:04:06
|
depression
|
It’s okay if you’re not out celebrating. It’s okay to go to bed at 9. It’s okay if you’re spending tonight without a boyfriend or girlfriend . . . don’t worry about tackling the whole decade at once. Take today, make whatever you want of it, and take a nap.
| 0 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
positive
| true | 0 |
etv04z
|
My wife just kicked me out
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 1 |
Last night we restarted an argument that has been festering for a couple weeks now. It ended with me screaming at the top of my lungs at my family, wrecking stuff, and driving away.
My wife and kids are terrified of me and I can't blame them one bit. I know I have enough control that I'd never ever lay hands on them, but I need help and the one person that I was able to confide with about anything has given up on me.
I'm going to my parents when I'm done work today, and staying there until my wife is going to her parents next weekend. I'm probably not going to see my kids for a while. I'm dreading the conversation I'll have to have with my folks.
I thought I'd be an emotional wreck today, but I'm just... Numb. That terrifies me.
I need help. I don't want to be the person I am anymore.
|
skelectrician
| 1 | 0 | 24 |
2020-01-25 19:08:05
|
Anger
|
<es>Last night we restarted an argument that has been festering for a couple weeks now.<ee> <es>It ended with me screaming at the top of my lungs at my family, wrecking stuff, and driving away.<ee> <efs>My wife and kids are terrified of me and I can't blame them one bit.<efe> <es>I know I have enough control that I'd never ever lay hands on them, but I need help and the one person that I was able to confide with about anything has given up on me.<ee> <es>I'm going to my parents when I'm done work today, and staying there until my wife is going to her parents next weekend.<ee> I'm probably not going to see my kids for a while. <efs>I'm dreading the conversation I'll have to have with my folks.<efe> <efs>I thought I'd be an emotional wreck today, but I'm just... Numb.<efe> <efs>That terrifies me.<efe> <rs>I need help.<re> <rs>I don't want to be the person I am anymore.<re>
| 2 | 2 | 1 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
what would help you with your anger outbursts
| null | true | 221 |
ejfro8
|
I just cut deeper than I ever have before
|
0
|
rant
| 1 |
I have been self harming on and off for a while (roughly 2/3 months, I know, rookie numbers) and I normally cut deep enough to get blood but not that deep, tonight I cut deep enough for the skin inside the cut to be white and it was a lot wider than most of my others. It wouldn't stop bleeding though I have a bandaid over them and some antiseptic cream too (cut safely kids)
|
SerpentePiedi13
| 4 | 0 | 4 |
2020-01-03 14:02:03
|
selfharm
|
<es>I have been self harming on and off for a while (roughly 2/3 months, I know, rookie numbers) and I normally cut deep enough to get blood but not that deep, tonight I cut deep enough for the skin inside the cut to be white and it was a lot wider than most of my others.<ee> <es>It wouldn't stop bleeding though I have a bandaid over them and some antiseptic cream too (cut safely kids)<ee>
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
why you cut yourself
|
How did X make you feel?
|
cutting very deep
|
What do you need help with now that X?
|
the bleeding is not stopping
| null | true | 100 |
eifmzl
|
experience using therapy to work on developing habits to help your ADD/ADHD?
|
0
|
survey
| 1 |
my psychiatrist recommended it and just wondering about anyones experiences
|
wacky_coconut
| 1 | 0 | 3 |
2020-01-01 07:28:09
|
ADHD
|
<rs>experience using therapy to work on developing habits to help your ADD/ADHD?<re> <es>my psychiatrist recommended it.<ee> <rs>I was just wondering about anyones experiences<re>
| 1 | 0 | 2 |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
your ADHD
|
How did X make you feel?
|
your ADHD
| null | null | null | true | 102 |
f2g398
|
I've made a mistake of participating in flat earther discussion
|
1c
|
help-seeking
| 1 |
I am really feeling homicidal right now, it's been an hour and I HATE these people, I don't know what to do. I actually yelled out loud out of hatred. These degenerates make me so mad, as do antivaxxers.
Writing it down helped me a bit. I've had an anger issue with intolerance to these degenerates. I've had an acquaintance of 3 years and when I knew that he was antivaxxer it came to a debate and I fought him and people had to stop the fight. For some reason I lose control with these cretins. Is there something I can do?
Preferably something that eradicates this scum out of this planet, but something that helps me manage my anger will also help with this issue. I'm still fuming. I want a discussion. Help me.
|
Protheu5
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
2020-02-11 22:11:42
|
Anger
|
<efs>I am really feeling homicidal right now, it's been an hour and I HATE these people, I don't know what to do.<efe> <efs>I actually yelled out loud out of hatred.<efe> <efs>These degenerates make me so mad, as do antivaxxers.<efe> Writing it down helped me a bit. <es>I've had an anger issue with intolerance to these degenerates.<ee> I've had an acquaintance of 3 years and when I knew that he was antivaxxer it came to a debate and I fought him and people had to stop the fight. For some reason I lose control with these cretins. Is there something I can do? Preferably something that eradicates this scum out of this planet, but something that helps me manage my anger will also help with this issue. I'm still fuming. I want a discussion. Help me.
| 2 | 2 | 2 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 222 |
em2z1u
|
I'm Not Okay With This
|
1b
|
rant
| 1 |
The link I'm posting is upsetting--it's the audio of schizophrenic patients engaging in "scream therapy".
What I'm not okay with this is the fact the suffering I hear in the audio isn't enough. Why do I want to hear people in pain? Why do I feel sexually frustrated listening to this clip knowing that the pain they're enduring isn't the worst agony a person can feel?
I hate myself for having these questions. Maybe sometimes people (including ourselves) are just shit, like how all of existence is just just shit
\*Trigger warning for the link below\*
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o0Xx3RXyGRE](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o0Xx3RXyGRE)
|
nordic_hygge
| 1 | 0 | 1 |
2020-01-09 02:13:05
|
ptsd
|
<es>The link I'm posting is upsetting--it's the audio of schizophrenic patients engaging in "scream therapy".<ee> <es>What I'm not okay with this is the fact the suffering I hear in the audio isn't enough.<ee> <es>Why do I want to hear people in pain?<ee> <efs>Why do I feel sexually frustrated listening to this clip knowing that the pain they're enduring isn't the worst agony a person can feel?<efe> <efs>I hate myself for having these questions.<efe> Maybe sometimes people (including ourselves) are just shit, like how all of existence is just just shit \*Trigger warning for the link below\* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o0Xx3RXyGRE](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o0Xx3RXyGRE)
| 2 | 2 | 0 | null | null | null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you are having sexual thoughts about people in pain
| null | true | 220 |
eiqdr7
|
Isn't anxiety just great!? (Sarcasm)
|
1b
|
rant
| 1 |
I mean things will be going okie dokie then here comes anxiety to remind you its still there and you're in danger when you're not or to give you a panic attack for no reason or to give you some dissociation or derealization. Its awesome right?. Im sure everyone loves it. Oh and it also gives you IBS and makes you super tired. Life is just great with anxiety. NOT!! FUCK ANXIETY BRO.
|
dietbonejuice
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
2020-01-02 00:29:37
|
Anxiety
|
I mean things will be going okie dokie then here comes anxiety to remind you its still there and you're in danger when you're not or to give you a panic attack for no reason or to give you some dissociation or derealization. Its awesome right?. Im sure everyone loves it. Oh and it also gives you IBS and makes you super tired. Life is just great with anxiety. NOT!! FUCK ANXIETY BRO.
| 0 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
random
| true | 0 |
etr5tk
|
Is the situation impacting me or do I need help?
|
1b
|
help-seeking
| 3 |
So a bit of backstory to provide context. Was burnt out/ depressed for about a year and a half. Last fall the fog lifted and I noticed my marriage of 16 years was just stalled, we were more like roommates. Even thought my wife was cheating on me, asked her and she hadn’t. Fast forward a few weeks, my wife went away for work, upon return I caught her sexting with a coworker. Turned my world upside down. We initially talked through it, decided to work on our marriage, she explained that it was just a feeling she didn’t have at home but nothing physical occurred. Since that time I had been checking her messages, nothing new that I could see but noticed behaviour changes. She stopped eating properly, sleeping was an issue (although to be fair it was mostly due to the marathon talks we were having, I needed to talk, understand where we were at, know what we could do to be ok again) but there was also an uptake in drinking and complaints about stomach issues which sounded like an ulcer. We were never drinkers and it became a 1-3 drink a night kind of habit. I became very concerned and reached out to her sister. We spoke at length about what happened and agreed she would have a talk with her. Waited a bit, the behaviours continued so I reached out to my mother in law. Upon calling her, she explained that she knew everything (from the sister) and that I didn’t deserve what happened and I should leave my wife. That put my head in a complete spin. Was still worried that my wife was hiding things and checked her messages again. She had already expressed feeling watched and I saw a message that said « all voice texts, much safer ». This just filled my head with wrong conclusions, that she was using voice texts which expire to hide her communications. I was wrong, so wrong because when I confronted her she explained that because the Bluetooth in her car isn’t working she uses voice text for safety. But I didn’t initially listen and shared the details of the conversation with her mom. Things didn’t go well.... says that was the worst day of her entire life. so now to current state - wife says I ruined the relationship with her mom, my fault for having talked with her sister, she has asked her friends (sort of my friends too as we’ve been together for so long) not to engage/discuss anything with me. This past week I saw an additional message regarding Valentine’s Day with her friends stating that she wanted to go with them to a spa as far away as possible, or in other words not with me. She has said she will buy a completely different phone under her name (not our family plan) so she can be sure she’s not being watched. We’re going to counselling but our last session sort of placed the spotlight on me, that I’m not trusting that she feels like she’s under surveillance and that she has to deal with the fallout of my actions.
All that to say, I have no idea what is going on with me. I love my wife but the trust isn’t there, there’s been absolutely nothing else aside from those texts but my mind keeps wandering. My sister in law and mother in law won’t speak to me, wife has so much anger directed at me which makes me even more worried... I feel like I’m stuck in a mental spiral of worrying and wondering/suspecting but also wondering if my mindset is actually causing issues when there aren’t any more. It’s messed up because I’m not the source of the initial issue but feel/am told that i’m the cause of the current problems.
Am I the bad guy now? If yes, how the hell do I stop being suspicious? How is it that concern for my wife’s health has turned into me destroying relationships? Do i need help?? Am I doing this subconsciously? I am so confused. Again, love my wife and want our family as it is...
|
techgeek78
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
2020-01-25 14:06:37
|
getting_over_it
|
So a bit of backstory to provide context. <efs>Was burnt out/ depressed for about a year and a half.<efe> <es>Last fall the fog lifted and I noticed my marriage of 16 years was just stalled, we were more like roommates.<ee> <es>Even thought my wife was cheating on me, asked her and she hadn’t.<ee> <es>Fast forward a few weeks, my wife went away for work, upon return I caught her sexting with a coworker.<ee> <es>Turned my world upside down.<ee> <es>We initially talked through it, decided to work on our marriage, she explained that it was just a feeling she didn’t have at home but nothing physical occurred.<ee> <es>Since that time I had been checking her messages, nothing new that I could see but noticed behaviour changes.<ee> <es>She stopped eating properly, sleeping was an issue (although to be fair it was mostly due to the marathon talks we were having, I needed to talk, understand where we were at, know what we could do to be ok again) but there was also an uptake in drinking and complaints about stomach issues which sounded like an ulcer.<ee> <es>We were never drinkers and it became a 1-3 drink a night kind of habit.<ee> <efs>I became very concerned and reached out to her sister.<efe> <es>We spoke at length about what happened and agreed she would have a talk with her.<ee> <es>Waited a bit, the behaviours continued so I reached out to my mother in law.<ee> <es>Upon calling her, she explained that she knew everything (from the sister) and that I didn’t deserve what happened and I should leave my wife.<ee> <es>That put my head in a complete spin.<ee> <efs>Was still worried that my wife was hiding things and checked her messages again.<efe> <es>She had already expressed feeling watched and I saw a message that said « all voice texts, much safer ».<ee> <es>This just filled my head with wrong conclusions, that she was using voice texts which expire to hide her communications.<ee> <es>I was wrong, so wrong because when I confronted her she explained that because the Bluetooth in her car isn’t working she uses voice text for safety.<ee> <es>But I didn’t initially listen and shared the details of the conversation with her mom.<ee> <es>Things didn’t go well.... says that was the worst day of her entire life. <ee> <es>so now to current state - wife says I ruined the relationship with her mom, my fault for having talked with her sister, she has asked her friends (sort of my friends too as we’ve been together for so long) not to engage/discuss anything with me.<ee> <es>This past week I saw an additional message regarding Valentine’s Day with her friends stating that she wanted to go with them to a spa as far away as possible, or in other words not with me.<ee> <es>She has said she will buy a completely different phone under her name (not our family plan) so she can be sure she’s not being watched.<ee> <es>We’re going to counselling but our last session sort of placed the spotlight on me, that I’m not trusting that she feels like she’s under surveillance and that she has to deal with the fallout of my actions. <ee> <es>All that to say, I have no idea what is going on with me.<ee> <es>I love my wife but the trust isn’t there, there’s been absolutely nothing else aside from those texts but my mind keeps wandering.<ee> <efs>My sister in law and mother in law won’t speak to me, wife has so much anger directed at me which makes me even more worried... I feel like I’m stuck in a mental spiral of worrying and wondering/suspecting but also wondering if my mindset is actually causing issues when there aren’t any more.<efe> <efs>It’s messed up because I’m not the source of the initial issue but feel/am told that i’m the cause of the current problems. <efe> <rs>Am I the bad guy now?<re> <rs>If yes, how the hell do I stop being suspicious?<re> <rs>How is it that concern for my wife’s health has turned into me destroying relationships?<re> <rs>Do i need help??<re> <rs>Am I doing this subconsciously?<re> <efs>I am so confused.<efe> <rs>Again, love my wife and want our family as it is...<re>
| 2 | 2 | 2 | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 222 |
f8gozn
|
Is anger it normal when anxious?
|
0
|
help-seeking
| 1 |
When I get anxious, I get angry. Is that normal?
|
Lostman138
| 1 | 0 | 1 |
2020-02-23 22:00:38
|
Anger
|
When I get anxious, I get angry. Is that normal?
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
what makes you anxious and angry
|
How did X make you feel?
|
the anger
|
What do you need help with now that X?
|
being anxious makes you angry
| null | true | 100 |
eq29cr
|
Any advice from survivors would be really appreciated!!!
|
0
|
help-seeking
| 1 | null |
OthorizedMonk
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
2020-01-17 16:01:40
|
rapecounseling
|
<rs>Any advice from survivors would be really appreciated!!!<re> nan
| 0 | 0 | 2 |
What happened that you want X ?
|
advice from survivors
|
What caused you to need X ?
|
advice from survivors
| null | null | null | true | 2 |
emwe3a
|
I chronically relapse meth after 6 weeks
|
1a
|
rant
| 1 |
I’ve made a cycle of relapsing meth ever 6 weeks that passes. I find the desire to feel normal outweighs the negatives of doing meth until the 6 week mark.
My mental health seems to take a turn for the worst around then and the cravings for
Meth skyrocket. I hope to die everytime I use so I don’t have to keep fighting this.
|
Unhappycamper93
| 1 | 0 | 4 |
2020-01-10 20:08:19
|
addiction
|
<es>I’ve made a cycle of relapsing meth ever 6 weeks that passes.<ee> <es>I find the desire to feel normal outweighs the negatives of doing meth until the 6 week mark.<ee> <efs>My mental health seems to take a turn for the worst around then and the cravings for Meth skyrocket.<efe> I hope to die everytime I use so I don’t have to keep fighting this.
| 1 | 1 | 0 |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
why you take meth
|
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
why your mental health deteriorated
|
What do you need help with now that X?
|
your mental health has deteriorated
| null | true | 110 |
eqlb10
|
why don’t sponsors contact you?
|
1b
|
help-seeking
| 1 |
Hi! I was jw if there is a reason that a sponsee is supposed to call their sponsor daily, but the sponsor isn’t ever going to call me? I am painfully shy and get major anxiety over calling anyone. I know, i need to work on it. but why can they never reach out?
Someone said once “you want what they have, so you reach out. They really don’t want what you have, so why would they reach out?”
idk. i haven’t called or texted mine in like a week, nothings wrong or anything but now i feel super awkward and like i’m gonna get a lecture.
|
hakuna__frittata
| 1 | 0 | 22 |
2020-01-18 19:48:40
|
alcoholicsanonymous
|
Hi! <rs>I was jw if there is a reason that a sponsee is supposed to call their sponsor daily, but the sponsor isn’t ever going to call me?<re> <es>I am painfully shy and get major anxiety over calling anyone.<ee> <es>I know, i need to work on it.<ee> <rs>but why can they never reach out? <re> <es>Someone said once “you want what they have, so you reach out. They really don’t want what you have, so why would they reach out?” <ee> <es>idk.<ee> <efs>i haven’t called or texted mine in like a week, nothings wrong or anything but now i feel super awkward and like i’m gonna get a lecture.<efe>
| 2 | 2 | 2 | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 222 |
eimni0
|
For a moment I really felt I was changing
|
1a
|
rant
| 2 |
So this is more of like a rant/me rambling about my innermost thoughts and feelings. I don’t expect this to be read but I feel like putting my thoughts on this sub is a more productive way of going about it.
I started doing pretty well at some point. I got a job, found a way to speak to and get along well with my coworkers, and while I still get stuck on anything further than a greeting with a customer sometimes I’ve managed to be able to make conversation and—if anything—just continued to survive considering I assumed that as soon as I got a job I’d break down or something. So yeah, a big step in the right direction.
The holidays come by, family visits for New Years and I remember how different from them I am. It’s always made me insecure how my family is so charismatic and cheerful talking to one another and laughing with no issue whatsoever. It’s comes so naturally to them. I had to give myself a pep talk so many times before they showed up because I didn’t want to be the same shy quiet rude kid I was before. I started off okay but it went downhill New Year’s Eve. I got drunk and sick and I reverted to just wanting to be alone in a safe space away from everyone else. Meanwhile, they continue partying and chatting away like it’s nothing. I think about joining but I can’t stand the feeling of their eyes on me. Makes me forget how to function almost and I almost always end up doing something rude because I want to get out of it as fast as possible. They remind. me that I never was them and will continue to never be.
Sorry about this random ass rant but this sub is like my safe space sometimes when I feel like I’m so different and far off from the world. It just feels good to know I’m not alone sometimes.
|
anunanus
| 1 | 0 | 1 |
2020-01-01 19:41:57
|
socialanxiety
|
So this is more of like a rant/me rambling about my innermost thoughts and feelings. I don’t expect this to be read but I feel like putting my thoughts on this sub is a more productive way of going about it. I started doing pretty well at some point. I got a job, found a way to speak to and get along well with my coworkers, and while I still get stuck on anything further than a greeting with a customer sometimes I’ve managed to be able to make conversation and—if anything—just continued to survive considering I assumed that as soon as I got a job I’d break down or something. So yeah, a big step in the right direction. <es>The holidays come by, family visits for New Years and I remember how different from them I am.<ee> <efs>It’s always made me insecure how my family is so charismatic and cheerful talking to one another and laughing with no issue whatsoever.<efe> It’s comes so naturally to them. <es>I had to give myself a pep talk so many times before they showed up because I didn’t want to be the same shy quiet rude kid I was before.<ee> <es>I started off okay but it went downhill New Year’s Eve.<ee> <es>I got drunk and sick and I reverted to just wanting to be alone in a safe space away from everyone else.<ee> <es>Meanwhile, they continue partying and chatting away like it’s nothing.<ee> <efs>I think about joining but I can’t stand the feeling of their eyes on me.<efe> <efs>Makes me forget how to function almost and I almost always end up doing something rude because I want to get out of it as fast as possible.<efe> <efs>They remind. me that I never was them and will continue to never be. <efe> Sorry about this random ass rant but this sub is like my safe space sometimes when I feel like I’m so different and far off from the world. It just feels good to know I’m not alone sometimes.
| 2 | 2 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you felt left out in your family
| null | true | 220 |
ejhts0
|
My grandmother(60+) has relapsed and is shutting us out
|
1b
|
help-seeking
| 3 |
TL;DR My grandmother is an alcoholic, presumably has relapsed onto hard drugs, has cut out my family from my grandfather who is degenerating quickly. She is spiteful and refuses help while also lashing out at us for not helping - I have no idea what to do. I miss my grandparents.
I feel like theres so much that needs to be said to explain my family but I'm trying to keep it to just this issue-
Let me start off by saying I grew up seeing my grandmother sober. I didn't experience any hint of her past use until I was roughly 17. She has fallen back into her alcoholism in the last 8 years. We saw it slowly, a drink at dinner or a glass of wine at a party, but nothing big but it made my mom wildly uncomfortable as she DID grow up experience all of it. I can only 100% say that she is drinking, however both of my aunts have mentioned they believe she has also turned to drug use again ( weed 100% but unsure of what else). Weed alone would not worry my family but it is not only that, I just can't confirm what else is being used.
My grandmother has been experiencing a LOT of stress lately. She picked up her life about 8 years ago to live in her retirement cabin a state away. During this time it came to light that my grandfather (Also a recovered(ing?) addict) had Parkinson and is was going down hill pretty fast. She decided not to move back to family and keep him in Oregon permanently. We asked her a few times to move back so that we could help in care giving but she refused and until this year has refused any help with nursing for him. I have also made the trip down there to see them, the atmosphere was not at all welcoming despite her saying I could stay with her. She didn't want any help then and said she had friends down there that were supporting her. I met a few of them, although nice people they were enabling her drinking and general angst towards my mother.
The last few years have been really rocky with her, we tried to be as understanding as possible and just offer help but she often took offense to help that was offered and then lashed out at people for not helping enough. Talking to her is a constant walk on egg shells because if you mention her drinking, needing help or anything related to her or my grandfathers health she starts getting agitated. For Christmas my aunt and uncle drove 8 hours to see her and bring their kids. They usually camp outside the cabin and cook for themselves to avoid making her do any extra work for them - However this year when they arrived she lashed out at them in front of the kids, yelling and screaming about how they are 'takers' and only want her money and so on. Which is wildly incorrect and they are the ones that try the MOST to be helpful. She took my grandfathers phone away and refuses to let anyone have contact with just him, although it has been long enough now he isn't capable of much on his own. I hate to say it but I do hold a bit of resentment on the years I wasn't able to see him because of how she has cut us out. I dont feel like I know my grandparents anymore, which is big since I grew up being so close to them.
I don't feel like I can bring up the drug use or drinking, I don't feel like it's my place but at the same time at this rate I am terrified that I will lose them both completely here soon.
|
MinkaDotExe
| 6 | 0 | 4 |
2020-01-03 16:34:55
|
addiction
|
TL;DR <es>My grandmother is an alcoholic, presumably has relapsed onto hard drugs, has cut out my family from my grandfather who is degenerating quickly.<ee> <es>She is spiteful and refuses help while also lashing out at us for not helping - I have no idea what to do.<ee> <efs>I miss my grandparents.<efe> <efs>I feel like theres so much that needs to be said to explain my family but I'm trying to keep it to just this issue-<efe> <es>Let me start off by saying I grew up seeing my grandmother sober.<ee> <es>I didn't experience any hint of her past use until I was roughly 17.<ee> <es>She has fallen back into her alcoholism in the last 8 years.<ee> <es>We saw it slowly, a drink at dinner or a glass of wine at a party, but nothing big but it made my mom wildly uncomfortable as she DID grow up experience all of it.<ee> <es>I can only 100% say that she is drinking, however both of my aunts have mentioned they believe she has also turned to drug use again ( weed 100% but unsure of what else).<ee> <es>Weed alone would not worry my family but it is not only that, I just can't confirm what else is being used.<ee> <es>My grandmother has been experiencing a LOT of stress lately.<ee> <es>She picked up her life about 8 years ago to live in her retirement cabin a state away.<ee> <es>During this time it came to light that my grandfather (Also a recovered(ing?) addict) had Parkinson and is was going down hill pretty fast.<ee> <es>She decided not to move back to family and keep him in Oregon permanently.<ee> <es>We asked her a few times to move back so that we could help in care giving but she refused and until this year has refused any help with nursing for him.<ee> <es>I have also made the trip down there to see them, the atmosphere was not at all welcoming despite her saying I could stay with her.<ee> <es>She didn't want any help then and said she had friends down there that were supporting her.<ee> <es>I met a few of them, although nice people they were enabling her drinking and general angst towards my mother.<ee> <es>The last few years have been really rocky with her, we tried to be as understanding as possible and just offer help but she often took offense to help that was offered and then lashed out at people for not helping enough.<ee> <es>Talking to her is a constant walk on egg shells because if you mention her drinking, needing help or anything related to her or my grandfathers health she starts getting agitated.<ee> <es>For Christmas my aunt and uncle drove 8 hours to see her and bring their kids.<ee> <es>They usually camp outside the cabin and cook for themselves to avoid making her do any extra work for them - However this year when they arrived she lashed out at them in front of the kids, yelling and screaming about how they are 'takers' and only want her money and so on.<ee> Which is wildly incorrect and they are the ones that try the MOST to be helpful. <es>She took my grandfathers phone away and refuses to let anyone have contact with just him, although it has been long enough now he isn't capable of much on his own.<ee> <efs>I hate to say it but I do hold a bit of resentment on the years I wasn't able to see him because of how she has cut us out.<efe> <efs>I dont feel like I know my grandparents anymore, which is big since I grew up being so close to them.<efe> <efs>I don't feel like I can bring up the drug use or drinking, I don't feel like it's my place but at the same time at this rate I am terrified that I will lose them both completely here soon.<efe>
| 2 | 2 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
|
your grandparents condition is not good
| null | true | 220 |
ej28ul
|
When do withdrawals stop for you guys?
|
0
|
survey
| 1 |
Hi I am currently on month 1 of quitting all drugs I have been taking to find healthier coping methods. When do the withdrawals stop? I am constantly sad, angry, confused and I honestly react to people (Getting angry easily) so its hard to communicate to people about issues. Also I have been doing it since 15 years old every day and i am currently 22. The items I have taken in the past are weed, opiates, kratom, and mdma. Similar experiences/coping methods would help a bunch too, thank you.
|
TeapThrow
| 1 | 0 | 8 |
2020-01-02 18:44:58
|
addiction
|
<es>Hi I am currently on month 1 of quitting all drugs I have been taking to find healthier coping methods.<ee> <rs>When do the withdrawals stop?<re> <efs>I am constantly sad, angry, confused and I honestly react to people (Getting angry easily) so its hard to communicate to people about issues.<efe> <es>Also I have been doing it since 15 years old every day and i am currently 22.<ee> <es>The items I have taken in the past are weed, opiates, kratom, and mdma.<ee> <rs>Similar experiences/coping methods would help a bunch too, thank you.<re>
| 2 | 2 | 2 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 222 |
eqzwzy
|
How do i be vulnerable with people I've known for awhile?
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 1 |
I'm introverted, been going through a huge rough patch in my life and need some strategies tips or motivation to be vulnerable with some people I know and trust.
I've never really been vulnerable with anyone other than with counsellers/therapists. But never once with family or friends, even for like small worries I rarely talk to friends about.
I'm not trying to burden them with problems I have I just know sometimes it's better to get help in the right direction.
I'm only human and have been just trying to figure things out.
|
Patient-Bassist
| 1 | 0 | 3 |
2020-01-19 18:17:59
|
selfhelp
|
<es>I'm introverted, been going through a huge rough patch in my life.<ee> <rs>I need some strategies tips or motivation to be vulnerable with some people I know and trust. <re> <es>I've never really been vulnerable with anyone other than with counsellers/therapists.<ee> <es>But never once with family or friends, even for like small worries I rarely talk to friends about. <ee> <es>I'm not trying to burden them with problems I have I just know sometimes it's better to get help in the right direction. <ee> <es>I'm only human and have been just trying to figure things out.<ee>
| 2 | 0 | 2 | null | null |
How did X make you feel?
|
being introverted
| null | null | null | true | 202 |
ejfm2w
|
My brother has been on heroin off and on for almost two years. He overdosed the other night and needed Narcan. What can I do at this point?
|
0
|
help-seeking
| 2 |
My sister is hanging out with him Sunday to talk about shit. We're both thinking that her and I should sit down with him to tell him that we want to help him get off of it. A few months ago he said he started to take Suboxzone, but it's clear that he never really did or he stopped trying to use it and went back to shooting up. He stopped talking to me for almost six months because he was "ashamed that he was back on it", so I worry about confronting him about his use and offering him help. I don't want to make things worse.
Sorry if this is just a bunch of rambling. I just don't know what to do and I don't want to lose my brother to something like this. Any thoughts would be really helpful.
Thanks.
|
theunionargus
| 3 | 0 | 10 |
2020-01-03 13:48:05
|
addiction
|
<es>My brother has been on heroin off and on for almost two years.<ee> <es>He overdosed the other night and needed Narcan.<ee> <rs>What can I do at this point?<re> My sister is hanging out with him Sunday to talk about shit. We're both thinking that her and I should sit down with him to tell him that we want to help him get off of it. <es>A few months ago he said he started to take Suboxzone, but it's clear that he never really did or he stopped trying to use it and went back to shooting up.<ee> <es>He stopped talking to me for almost six months because he was "ashamed that he was back on it", so I worry about confronting him about his use and offering him help.<ee> <rs>I don't want to make things worse. <re> Sorry if this is just a bunch of rambling. <rs>I just don't know what to do and I don't want to lose my brother to something like this.<re> <rs>Any thoughts would be really helpful. <re> Thanks.
| 2 | 0 | 2 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null |
How did X make you feel?
|
your brother's heroin addiction
| null | null |
title
| true | 202 |
eim91b
|
So, getting betrayed is a blast !
|
0
|
survey
| 1 |
Anyone tried hard to work a little above their anxiety, made loke 2 friends and then when you needed them, you were all alone (more like are alone) and can't just trust anyone you meet ?
|
superrsud
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
2020-01-01 19:11:51
|
socialanxiety
|
Anyone tried hard to work a little above their anxiety, made loke 2 friends and then when you needed them, you were all alone (more like are alone) and can't just trust anyone you meet ?
| 2 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null |
How did X make you feel?
|
the incident
|
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you feel alone
| null | true | 200 |
eiklmx
|
Irrational fear of losing my mom?
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 2 |
I can't stop thinking about everything that can go wrong, especially which family members I could lose in the new decade. New Year's is always awful for me.
I have an extremely irrational fear of losing my mom because she's all I have. I'm 27 F, single, and not interested in getting married or having a family but that scares the hell out of me. I need a family in the future or else I'll be alone but I don't want it, if that makes sense. I don't want to put effort into dating and going through all that.
My mom is in good health now but I am crippled almost daily with the thought of losing her someday. After a break-up about 2 years ago, I've had this extreme issue with loss. I was suicidal when my ex broke up with me because I felt I lost the future I was meant to have. I always have feared losing my mom, and when I was dating someone I felt like I didn't have to worry about that anymore because I'd marry this person and have a family to be with me forever.
I feel like when my mom dies, I will want to die too because I'll have no one. I'm too scared to be alone. I will never have a job that makes enough money for rent, let alone bills, food, and a car. There's no way I could do that on my own.
I need to see a therapist but I am not allowed the time off work to go. I can't find anyone available after work or on weekends, so I'd have to take an hour away each day, which I'd have to make up and I'm not willing to do that. My work hours are very strict and my manager demands I stay longer some days and make my hours "flexible". I'm basically at the mercy of him and when he allows me to go home for the night. I'm only a secretary but he's a controlling prick.
Idk I can't stand this. I need help.
|
shutupmyhead
| 1 | 0 | 4 |
2020-01-01 17:06:19
|
Anxiety
|
<es>I can't stop thinking about everything that can go wrong, especially which family members I could lose in the new decade.<ee> <es>New Year's is always awful for me.<ee> <efs>I have an extremely irrational fear of losing my mom because she's all I have.<efe> <efs>I'm 27 F, single, and not interested in getting married or having a family but that scares the hell out of me.<efe> <rs>I need a family in the future or else I'll be alone but I don't want it, if that makes sense.<re> <rs>I don't want to put effort into dating and going through all that.<re> <efs>My mom is in good health now but I am crippled almost daily with the thought of losing her someday.<efe> <es>After a break-up about 2 years ago, I've had this extreme issue with loss.<ee> <efs>I was suicidal when my ex broke up with me because I felt I lost the future I was meant to have.<efe> <efs>I always have feared losing my mom, and when I was dating someone I felt like I didn't have to worry about that anymore because I'd marry this person and have a family to be with me forever.<efe> <efs>I feel like when my mom dies, I will want to die too because I'll have no one.<efe> <efs>I'm too scared to be alone.<efe> <efs>I will never have a job that makes enough money for rent, let alone bills, food, and a car.<efe> <efs>There's no way I could do that on my own.<efe> <rs>I need to see a therapist but I am not allowed the time off work to go.<re> <es>I can't find anyone available after work or on weekends, so I'd have to take an hour away each day, which I'd have to make up and I'm not willing to do that.<ee> <es>My work hours are very strict and my manager demands I stay longer some days and make my hours "flexible".<ee> <es>I'm basically at the mercy of him and when he allows me to go home for the night.<ee> <es>I'm only a secretary but he's a controlling prick. <ee> Idk I can't stand this. <rs>I need help.<re>
| 2 | 2 | 1 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
what would help you overcome the fear
| null | true | 221 |
eixp8q
|
Do I increase my dosage now that I'm older?
|
0
|
help-seeking
| 2 |
Hi guys, I recently got remedicated (heck yes health insurance) but I'm currently on a script that I had years ago because I thought "Hey this worked before it should work now!" which is 10mg Adderall XR. I'm noticing now however, that it isn't quite "enough" like it used to be. I definitely feel more focused but not the same level of focus as I was when I was medicated before. I can definitely feel the effects it's just not quite the same as it was the first time around and it doesn't last as long. Is it possible I need to up my dosage now that I'm older? Can my ADHD actually get WORSE as I age (lol)? Do I need to supplement with something else (my doctor talked about some people will take Vyvanse and then regular Adderall once Vyvanse wears off or like adding wellbutrin as well). When I was upped to 20mg last time I felt like it was too much, but now I'm curious if I should be increasing my dosage. Despite having to substance use issues, I'm always terrified my doc is gonna look at me like I need rehab when I ask for a dose increase...
Thank you guys so much. And bless this forum.
|
APlacetoHideAway
| 1 | 0 | 4 |
2020-01-02 12:34:18
|
ADHD
|
<es>Hi guys, I recently got remedicated (heck yes health insurance) but I'm currently on a script that I had years ago because I thought "Hey this worked before it should work now!" which is 10mg Adderall XR.<ee> <es>I'm noticing now however, that it isn't quite "enough" like it used to be.<ee> <efs>I definitely feel more focused but not the same level of focus as I was when I was medicated before.<efe> <efs>I can definitely feel the effects it's just not quite the same as it was the first time around and it doesn't last as long.<efe> <rs>Is it possible I need to up my dosage now that I'm older?<re> <rs>Can my ADHD actually get WORSE as I age (lol)?<re> <rs>Do I need to supplement with something else (my doctor talked about some people will take Vyvanse and then regular Adderall once Vyvanse wears off or like adding wellbutrin as well).<re> <rs>When I was upped to 20mg last time I felt like it was too much, but now I'm curious if I should be increasing my dosage.<re> <efs>Despite having to substance use issues, I'm always terrified my doc is gonna look at me like I need rehab when I ask for a dose increase...<efe> Thank you guys so much. And bless this forum.
| 1 | 2 | 2 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 122 |
eipb51
|
Very afraid failing the test for my drivers license
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 1 |
I've been trying to get my drivers license for the past 3 years, couldn't do driving lessons because I was already afraid of failing the test, for the past 6 months I pushed myself to take driving lessons regulary and the driving test should be in about 1 month.
I'm already terrified of the test because the fear of failing, all I think about right now is the test, I really want my drivers license and where I live it's very expensive, but I'm very anxious, any tips how to prepare? I also wanted to add that driving is very difficult for me, (instructor talking to me, high speeds, lights, etc.) I don't know what to do..
|
throwawayduck22
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
2020-01-01 23:05:23
|
Anxiety
|
<es>I've been trying to get my drivers license for the past 3 years, couldn't do driving lessons because I was already afraid of failing the test, for the past 6 months I pushed myself to take driving lessons regulary and the driving test should be in about 1 month.<ee> <efs>I'm already terrified of the test because the fear of failing, all I think about right now is the test. <rs>I really want my drivers license and where I live it's very expensive but I'm very anxious, any tips how to prepare?<re> <es>I also wanted to add that driving is very difficult for me, (instructor talking to me, high speeds, lights, etc.) I don't know what to do..<ee>
| 2 | 2 | 2 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 222 |
ekk65x
|
Slippery slope
|
0
|
rant
| 2 |
Me and my friends usually smoke weed and/or drink to get fucked up, but recently they've been wanting to try stuff like acid, lsd and other pills and shit. I always told myself i'd never do any pills, but if they do stuff like that i'll just wanna do it and the effects do sound great so i'll probably keep using them. I'm already in love with weed, alcohol and cigs i don't wanna extend it to more stuff i can waste my money on.
|
Chegx6
| 1 | 0 | 1 |
2020-01-05 22:33:33
|
addiction
|
<es>Me and my friends usually smoke weed and/or drink to get fucked up, but recently they've been wanting to try stuff like acid, lsd and other pills and shit.<ee> <es>I always told myself i'd never do any pills, but if they do stuff like that i'll just wanna do it and the effects do sound great so i'll probably keep using them.<ee> <rs>I'm already in love with weed, alcohol and cigs i don't wanna extend it to more stuff i can waste my money on.<re>
| 2 | 0 | 1 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null |
How did X make you feel?
|
your friends trying pills
|
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
what would help you not take the pills
| null | true | 201 |
ei7et5
|
So easy to ruin your life
|
1a
|
rant
| 1 |
I had a car accident yesterday. My fault. Late after a 12 hour shift and pulled out of a drive thru and hit them. Other person was barely scratched, thank god. My car is fucked.
I can’t afford the bill to go get it. I need a vehicle to drive to work and I literally need it for the job itself. I don’t get paid til Thursday but my car isn’t going to be magically fixed then.
I wish the accident had just killed me honestly. Seriously contemplating bad things. I know it’s an overreaction but I don’t care... I really don’t
|
lazorrarubia
| 1 | 0 | 1 |
2019-12-31 19:17:17
|
depression
|
<es>I had a car accident yesterday.<ee> My fault. Late after a 12 hour shift and pulled out of a drive thru and hit them. Other person was barely scratched, thank god. My car is fucked. <es>I can’t afford the bill to go get it.<ee> <rs>I need a vehicle to drive to work and I literally need it for the job itself.<re> <es>I don’t get paid til Thursday but my car isn’t going to be magically fixed then.<ee> <efs>I wish the accident had just killed me honestly.<efe> <efs>Seriously contemplating bad things.<efe> <efs>I know it’s an overreaction but I don’t care... I really don’t<efe>
| 2 | 2 | 2 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 222 |
emoocr
|
Asking for tips for stopping self punishment behavior
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 1 |
I have complex PTSD, and I’ve experienced night terrors that have recently reopened the experiences that led to this. As a result I’ve been self punishing for days without realizing it. I.e., making myself sleep in my floor, restricting what/how much I’m eating, and not allowing myself sleep even though I’m beyond exhausted. It’s been three days, and as much as I want to sleep I’m terrified of my night terrors.
I’ve not found any advice from professionals that genuinely works, and I assume it’s from not actually having PTSD. I feel that tips from people with it will have a better impact. I could really use any suggestions/tips on how to stop myself from slipping into that behavior, if anyone has any that have experienced the same thing.
|
SvenGyllen
| 1 | 0 | 1 |
2020-01-10 09:32:55
|
ptsd
|
<es>I have complex PTSD, and I’ve experienced night terrors that have recently reopened the experiences that led to this.<ee> <es>As a result I’ve been self punishing for days without realizing it. I.e., making myself sleep in my floor, restricting what/how much I’m eating, and not allowing myself sleep even though I’m beyond exhausted.<ee> <efs>It’s been three days, and as much as I want to sleep I’m terrified of my night terrors. <efe> <es>I’ve not found any advice from professionals that genuinely works, and I assume it’s from not actually having PTSD.<ee> <rs>I feel that tips from people with it will have a better impact.<re> <rs>I could really use any suggestions/tips on how to stop myself from slipping into that behavior, if anyone has any that have experienced the same thing.<re>
| 2 | 2 | 2 | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 222 |
et3tgk
|
Why Am I Good At Math But Bad At Reading Comprehension, Word Problems And English Language Arts in general?
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 3 |
I’m from Alberta Canada. I’m heavily introverted(with mild high functioning autism). I am 16 years old and in grade 11. I’m also a native English speaker when it comes to the language. I’ve being struggling in English language arts since I was young. I can maybe pull a 60% when it comes to personal response to texts(as I write this in the PROSE form of short stories) but besides that and the minor small assignments, the reading comprehension and essay writing is like torture to my mind. Meanwhile in math I’m first person to put his hand up and actively participate in class discussions. It takes me 30 minutes to type a sentence on an essay but it takes me 1-5 minutes to solve a math problem(10 minutes for word problems as reading comprehension skills are bad). Also in math, the algebra and in general the solving mathematical part is super easy but the comprehending and analyzing the problem is so difficult. Yet I’m also good at social studies and am doing well in European history AP(accept on the writing assignments). It scares me to think that I need expert level writing skills to do a research paper in university to get a Thesis Masters and PHD in astrophysics in the future. I might be able to get a bachelors because that’s mostly course and math and science based classes but a masters and PHD freaks me out! And the worse part is that there’s not much online help or good tutors in English language arts when it comes to Alberta’s curriculum. Most of the YouTube videos and online help are for Americans. It took me a week(we get a lot of time to work in Canadian schools) to get a English assignment done but it takes me less then an hour or 2 to finish math homework. Also what scares me is that university requires 30-1 and won’t accept 30-2 and I just finished English 20-1 with an average of 64%(so I still pass as 50% is passing grade in Alberta) but in grade 12 I might have to 30-2 first semester and then 30-1 2nd semester but even then 30-2 will be like 20-1 and university of Calgary only accepts 30-1. I can meet the math and science requirements for university but low grades in English language arts might prevent me from getting admitted in September 2021. Yet almost everyone around me at school seems to be pros at English while they struggle in math. I see more help for people struggling in math then in English. The modern English language arts curriculum(from the 90s here in Alberta) is obviously not created for my Generation Z. It’s created for a time before the age of information and because of that I’m doomed for going into university and astrophysics!
|
MoonWatch986
| 1 | 0 | 6 |
2020-01-24 02:25:55
|
selfhelp
|
<es>I’m from Alberta Canada.<ee> <es> I’m heavily introverted(with mild high functioning autism).<ee> <es> I am 16 years old and in grade 11. <ee> <es>I’m also a native English speaker when it comes to the language. <ee> <es>I’ve being struggling in English language arts since I was young.<ee> <es> I can maybe pull a 60% when it comes to personal response to texts(as I write this in the PROSE form of short stories) but besides that and the minor small assignments, the reading comprehension and essay writing is like torture to my mind. <ee> <es>Meanwhile in math I’m first person to put his hand up and actively participate in class discussions.<ee> <es> It takes me 30 minutes to type a sentence on an essay but it takes me 1-5 minutes to solve a math problem(10 minutes for word problems as reading comprehension skills are bad).<ee> <es> Also in math, the algebra and in general the solving mathematical part is super easy but the comprehending and analyzing the problem is so difficult. <ee> <es>Yet I’m also good at social studies and am doing well in European history AP(accept on the writing assignments). <ee> <efs>It scares me to think that I need expert level writing skills to do a research paper in university to get a Thesis Masters and PHD in astrophysics in the future. <efe> <efs>I might be able to get a bachelors because that’s mostly course and math and science based classes but a masters and PHD freaks me out!<efe> <es> And the worse part is that there’s not much online help or good tutors in English language arts when it comes to Alberta’s curriculum. <ee> <es>Most of the YouTube videos and online help are for Americans.<ee> <es> It took me a week(we get a lot of time to work in Canadian schools) to get a English assignment done but it takes me less then an hour or 2 to finish math homework. <ee> <efs>Also what scares me is that university requires 30-1 and won’t accept 30-2 and I just finished English 20-1 with an average of 64%(so I still pass as 50% is passing grade in Alberta) but in grade 12 I might have to 30-2 first semester and then 30-1 2nd semester but even then 30-2 will be like 20-1 and university of Calgary only accepts 30-1. <efe> <es>I can meet the math and science requirements for university but low grades in English language arts might prevent me from getting admitted in September 2021. <ee> <es> Yet almost everyone around me at school seems to be pros at English while they struggle in math. <ee> <es>I see more help for people struggling in math then in English.<ee> <es>The modern English language arts curriculum(from the 90s here in Alberta) is obviously not created for my Generation Z.<ee> <es> It’s created for a time before the age of information and because of that I’m doomed for going into university and astrophysics!<ee>
| 2 | 2 | 0 | null | null | null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you are getting low grades in English language in the university
| null | true | 220 |
eti5xr
|
Sense of responsibility and life is killing me from the inside.
|
1a
|
rant
| 2 |
I'm turning 24 in a couple of months and the eldest son.
Friends and family who were and are at my age are very well self dependent and earning, where as I haven't yet completed by bachelor's degree. I was supposed to finish my studies in 2019 but as of 2020 I've only completed half of the total course.
My family is running in dept right now and I hold myself responsible for it in a way. Continuously failing and finding myself stuck in life while watching others move ahead and grow has given my anxiety and has worsened my depression. Health scares in my family just adds up and all I can do is watch everything helplessly.
Not a single day passes by where I don't think about it (it's not that I want to think about it but just something that pops up in my head).
I've reached the age where asking for money from my father for my daily life in a foreign country (which doesn't even allow me to do part-time) makes me feel like a burden.
I'm hoping that I finish my course by 2021 so that I don't have to depend on my father, that I can provide my family and help pay the debt as well as help my family financially.
TBH hoping hasn't done much for me. Things keep getting worse and as days pass by I feel more lonely and weak.
|
khalidxcvi
| 1 | 0 | 5 |
2020-01-24 23:00:13
|
getting_over_it
|
<es>I'm turning 24 in a couple of months and the eldest son.<ee> <es>Friends and family who were and are at my age are very well self dependent and earning, where as I haven't yet completed by bachelor's degree.<ee> <es>I was supposed to finish my studies in 2019 but as of 2020 I've only completed half of the total course.<ee> <es>My family is running in dept right now and I hold myself responsible for it in a way.<ee> <efs>Continuously failing and finding myself stuck in life while watching others move ahead and grow has given my anxiety and has worsened my depression.<efe> <es>Health scares in my family just adds up and all I can do is watch everything helplessly.<ee> <es>Not a single day passes by where I don't think about it (it's not that I want to think about it but just something that pops up in my head). <ee> <efs>I've reached the age where asking for money from my father for my daily life in a foreign country (which doesn't even allow me to do part-time) makes me feel like a burden. <efe> <rs>I'm hoping that I finish my course by 2021 so that I don't have to depend on my father, that I can provide my family and help pay the debt as well as help my family financially.<re> <es>TBH hoping hasn't done much for me.<ee> <efs>Things keep getting worse and as days pass by I feel more lonely and weak.<efe>
| 2 | 2 | 1 | null | null | null | null |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
what would help you complete the course
| null | true | 221 |
ekqa1w
|
One last rodeo
|
0
|
rant
| 1 |
Dear Ipad
I know i haven’t been the best and i know i’ve smacked you and swore at you but i just wanted to say, thank you. Shit i’m already crying. Throuhout these 3 years we’ve been together you’ve never talked, but you’ve always listened. Everything i typed you understand and made my recommended a bit better, thank you. Let’s go again, one last rodeo, you and me OH DAMN 69%
|
DOC_official
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
2020-01-06 06:46:04
|
sad
|
Dear Ipad I know i haven’t been the best and i know i’ve smacked you and swore at you but i just wanted to say, thank you. Shit i’m already crying. Throuhout these 3 years we’ve been together you’ve never talked, but you’ve always listened. Everything i typed you understand and made my recommended a bit better, thank you. Let’s go again, one last rodeo, you and me OH DAMN 69%
| 0 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
random
| true | 0 |
ejb6rz
|
hahahahaha im an idiot. the girl i like likes another guy. but she had to play with me for a few months before she told me of course.
|
1b
|
rant
| 1 | null |
Griffing217
| 5 | 0 | 4 |
2020-01-03 05:56:08
|
sad
| null | 0 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
random
| true | 0 |
emfiew
|
Working away from home 1st time
|
1a
|
rant
| 2 |
Without too many details I’m based on a work site I cannot leave. I have here, online meetings, fellowship members on my phone and most importantly my sponsor on the phone.
But I am slightly ****ing myself. This is sober living and I’m going to do my best to for the next few days. I just have to let these fear pass and quite frankly **** off.
I deserve a good life.
Thanks for listening.
|
thatluckyfox
| 1 | 0 | 3 |
2020-01-09 20:35:37
|
alcoholicsanonymous
|
<es>Without too many details I’m based on a work site I cannot leave.<ee> <es>I have here, online meetings, fellowship members on my phone and most importantly my sponsor on the phone. <ee> <es>But I am slightly ****ing myself.<ee> <es>This is sober living and I’m going to do my best to for the next few days.<ee> <es>I just have to let these fear pass and quite frankly **** off. <ee> <rs>I deserve a good life.<re> Thanks for listening.
| 1 | 0 | 1 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null |
How did X make you feel?
|
being sober
|
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
what would help you live a better life
| null | true | 101 |
f2n7xz
|
Incest
|
1b
|
help-seeking
| 2 |
Whew, is this what the 2 followers I gained from my last post was waiting for? Seriously, why did you follow me? I’m not that active. Were you hoping I would go into more detail about my uncle fantasies? Incest a hot topic for you? Sorry to crush your dreams.
Mostly.
Lol.
You get your dream half fulfilled.
.
I have nightmares of my family raping me. Except, it’s not the bad ones. It’s the good ones. I’ve been raped and harassed by four family members. Well, three and a half. One was just my mom’s cousin groping my breast twice as I was showing him music. Unwanted, but fairly harmless because I instantly removed myself from his presence. Yay me. So three and a half rapes and harassments yet those are not the ones I dream about. (With one exception *cue my last post*). The good ones that haven’t hurt me are the ones I dream about. They haven’t touched me, so what do I have to fear? They’re the good ones. I’m wary of all my family. Which is sad because they didn’t hurt me so they don’t deserve my distance. It’s understandable, but I still feel bad. I feel unease with most friendly actions my family has towards me. I think everything they do has an ulterior motive. My brother will pin me down and tickle me and my first thought is “he is going to rape me”. Which is sad because ever since I was a kid I longed to be close to him. I *want* him to tickle me and tease me and be an annoying brother like most brothers are. But he can’t because I’m scared of family. I love my family. But I’m scared of my family.
But I love my family.
Sometimes I get thoughts like Sex = Love and in order to get Love from my family I have to have Sex with them. I dream about my family raping me. Except it’s not so bad because they Love me and Sex is just a small price to pay for Love. Sometimes I have dreams where I initiate the Sex because I want to be a Family again and Family = Love = Sex. At least that’s what I’ve learned from past experiences. These dreams are conflicting because I feel loved but also scared. What a rollercoaster of emotions. Love and Fear. Love, Fear, Love, Fear, Love Fear LoveFearlovefearlovefearlovefearlovefear wake up. Sometimes my nightmares aren’t nightmares anymore. They’re sex dreams. 100%. Consensual. Sex dreams. No fear. All love. And honestly, I think I’d prefer the nightmares. That seems to be a common theme with me. Wanting Worse so I can stop feeling like a Bad person. Incest is such a taboo topic, even in rape circles. I never see anyone share experiences similar to mine, which makes me not want to share my experiences, but also want to share my experiences more because then other people with experiences like mine can come out and share their experiences. I hope other people has similar experiences. Not because I wished they were raped, but because I don’t want to be the only one. It’s one thing to be raped by family but another thing to have incestuous dreams about family because of it. I hate mentioning these dreams to anyone because, well, I don’t want people to think I’m gross or look down on me. Please don’t think I’m gross or look down on me. I love my family. I’m not in love with my family. I don’t want to have sex with my family. I just think they all want to have sex with me. Though, I will say, incest doesn’t give me the ‘eww’ reaction anymore like it gives most people. I’m just uninterested. Like, I don’t want to suck my brothers dick but if he ever asked me to suck his dick I wouldn’t be appalled. I’d be uncomfortable, but hey, it means he’s paying attention to me so it can’t be that bad.
Please let someone else share my experience. I hate being the only one. I read about this being common in victims of incest but I’ve never actually seen anyone mention it anywhere.
|
Youre_Grounded
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
2020-02-12 06:54:27
|
rapecounseling
|
Whew, is this what the 2 followers I gained from my last post was waiting for? Seriously, why did you follow me? I’m not that active. Were you hoping I would go into more detail about my uncle fantasies? Incest a hot topic for you? Sorry to crush your dreams. Mostly. Lol. You get your dream half fulfilled. . I have nightmares of my family raping me. Except, it’s not the bad ones. It’s the good ones. I’ve been raped and harassed by four family members. Well, three and a half. One was just my mom’s cousin groping my breast twice as I was showing him music. Unwanted, but fairly harmless because I instantly removed myself from his presence. Yay me. So three and a half rapes and harassments yet those are not the ones I dream about. (With one exception *cue my last post*). The good ones that haven’t hurt me are the ones I dream about. They haven’t touched me, so what do I have to fear? They’re the good ones. I’m wary of all my family. Which is sad because they didn’t hurt me so they don’t deserve my distance. It’s understandable, but I still feel bad. I feel unease with most friendly actions my family has towards me. I think everything they do has an ulterior motive. My brother will pin me down and tickle me and my first thought is “he is going to rape me”. Which is sad because ever since I was a kid I longed to be close to him. I *want* him to tickle me and tease me and be an annoying brother like most brothers are. But he can’t because I’m scared of family. I love my family. But I’m scared of my family. But I love my family. Sometimes I get thoughts like Sex = Love and in order to get Love from my family I have to have Sex with them. I dream about my family raping me. Except it’s not so bad because they Love me and Sex is just a small price to pay for Love. Sometimes I have dreams where I initiate the Sex because I want to be a Family again and Family = Love = Sex. At least that’s what I’ve learned from past experiences. These dreams are conflicting because I feel loved but also scared. What a rollercoaster of emotions. Love and Fear. Love, Fear, Love, Fear, Love Fear LoveFearlovefearlovefearlovefearlovefear wake up. Sometimes my nightmares aren’t nightmares anymore. They’re sex dreams. 100%. Consensual. Sex dreams. No fear. All love. And honestly, I think I’d prefer the nightmares. That seems to be a common theme with me. Wanting Worse so I can stop feeling like a Bad person. Incest is such a taboo topic, even in rape circles. I never see anyone share experiences similar to mine, which makes me not want to share my experiences, but also want to share my experiences more because then other people with experiences like mine can come out and share their experiences. I hope other people has similar experiences. Not because I wished they were raped, but because I don’t want to be the only one. It’s one thing to be raped by family but another thing to have incestuous dreams about family because of it. I hate mentioning these dreams to anyone because, well, I don’t want people to think I’m gross or look down on me. Please don’t think I’m gross or look down on me. I love my family. I’m not in love with my family. I don’t want to have sex with my family. I just think they all want to have sex with me. Though, I will say, incest doesn’t give me the ‘eww’ reaction anymore like it gives most people. I’m just uninterested. Like, I don’t want to suck my brothers dick but if he ever asked me to suck his dick I wouldn’t be appalled. I’d be uncomfortable, but hey, it means he’s paying attention to me so it can’t be that bad. Please let someone else share my experience. I hate being the only one. I read about this being common in victims of incest but I’ve never actually seen anyone mention it anywhere.
| 0 | 0 | 0 |
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null | null | true | 0 |
f694q1
|
Not sure what subreddit to be in.
|
1b
|
help-seeking
| 1 |
They aren’t necessarily physically violent, only once. More mentally abusive. Is there a different subreddit for that?
|
aperolspritz1923
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
2020-02-19 10:40:29
|
domesticviolence
|
They aren’t necessarily physically violent, only once. More mentally abusive. Is there a different subreddit for that?
| 1 | 0 | 0 |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
the mental abuse
|
How did X make you feel?
|
being mentally abused
|
What do you need help with now that X?
|
they are mentally abusing you
|
random
| true | 100 |
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