ejjaffe/onion_headlines_2_sources · Datasets at Hugging Face

text stringlengths 1 926
man's eyes glaze over whenever politician starts threatening to plunge him into serf-like subjugation
new 'war' enables mankind to resolve disagreements
taste acquired
nra: 'please try to remember all the wonderful things guns do for us every day'
30-million-year-old species worried it doesn’t have another evolution in it
'are you the whistleblower?' trump boys ask white house janitor after giving him serum of all the sodas mixed together
sean spicer given own press secretary to answer media's questions about his controversial statements
area power walker looks just ridiculous
editors of 'good car' magazine: 'the 2013 hyundai sonata is a good car'
mute, terrified rubio awakes to find self unable to vocalize any unscripted sentiment
officials: clear similarities between boeing 737 max 8 crashes
report: it apparently time in conversation to smile, laugh
you must learn them: 6 secrets for enjoying a big cup of soda
supreme court justice application asks for 3 sample opinions
everyone involved in pizza's preparation, delivery, purchase extremely high
commerce secretary urges nation to get in on piece of the action
new pre-sauced napkins can be thrown away straight from package
senior prank somehow leaves high school with increased math funding
family excited to see dad making friends in new neighborhood
local dullard opts for vocational school
clean-shaven, tuxedoed james holmes charms courtroom in latest appearance
area dad needs more time with museum plaque
more office workers switching to fetal position desks \| video \| the onion
'what about that whole birth certificate thing?' romney suggests to staff
'scooter' libby wishes he'd ditched nickname before media coverage
they said what?!: find out what james cameron, ken burns, and amy adams have to say
secretary of agriculture gently reminded about dress code
frank gehry no longer allowed to make sandwiches for grandkids
hummingbird back at feeder again, grandmother reports
house condescendingly approves $400 in added stimulus
seeds of discontent
buyer of $450 million da vinci painting sort of assumed it would come with frame
'farm aid aid' concert to benefit struggling farm aid concerts
5 questions: ‘i had to squeeze my testicles between two cinderblocks to get angry enough to write “lose yourself”’: 5 questions with eminem
house democrats issue condemnation of ukraine for making it harder to avoid impeaching trump
outside not looking forward to people wanting to walk around in it again this summer
over 417,000 hours of private presidential conversations discovered after no one remembered to turn off richard nixon’s tape recorder
report: it crazy mlb still counts stats from segregated era
terrier bravely defends family from squeak
what is your amateur porn telling employers about you?
nypd tickets dead cyclist for obstructing bike lane
quiz: your parents are my parents now.
nbc unveils on screen graphic informing audience they are watching football
nation's optimists need to shut the fuck up right now
motion picture academy releases complete list of films that can be enjoyed without supporting sexual predator
national archives clearly stored constitution in three-ring binder
fantasy football star confident he can make leap to general manager of nfl team
this list of decorative placemats is a testament to our restraint at a time when literally any ‘game of thrones’ content whatsoever would go viral
upset red sox fan demands to speak to manager
otherwise savvy woman duped by mascara makers again
80 percent of u.s. populace now selling handmade jewelry
police homicide investigation uncovers cap in ass
senator misses simpler time when he could do abominable things in peace
coworker most valuable to office when he fails to show up
crowd roars in approval as makeup-smeared trump begs rally to tell him he’s beautiful
harvard officials say $8.9 million donation from jeffrey epstein was from brief recovery period when he wasn’t a pedophile
space shuttle endeavour: what's in it for me?
trump complains about overly complicated controls needed to operate modern-day doors
report: u.s. exported 6 billion tons of crude web content last year
news: taking precautions: donald trump is having the teeth of all of his cabinet members removed so they cannot bite him
child bankrupts make-a-wish foundation with wish for unlimited wishes
nasa launches first cordless satellite
woman could listen to british guy scream for help all day
paul ryan just put out a comprehensive 14-point plan to fully debase himself for the trump administration
every day of local dad's life an endless battle to hold on to good pen
north korea successfully harvests wheat in show of growing strength
fda defends decision to reclassify alternative milks as 'nut sweat'
guillermo del toro: 'in today's society, the true monsters are the horrifying, flesh-eating gargoyles'
news: it’s theirs now: dozens of bikers showed up to the capitol building and now it’s a biker congress
video: heartwarming! this man’s wife fell into a manhole 20 years ago and every day he still lowers a rotisserie chicken into the sewer for her
gop claims kavanaugh shouldn’t lose appointment for youthful indiscretion of repeatedly lying under oath
to differentiate itself from ‘playerunknown’s battlegrounds,’ the game has added a map set inside a law firm that specializes in the nuances of copyright infringement: everything you need to know about ‘fortnite’
12% of federal government that's currently functioning to shut down
bush followed everywhere by line of baby ducks
grandmother can't believe they let people with tattoos on price is right
whale won't shut up about time it was beached
dnc aiming to reconnect with working-class americans with new 'hamilton'-inspired lena dunham web series
unhinged man with jackhammer slips into construction site undetected
new job posting on craigslist clearly for secretary of the interior
indoor grill owner can't wait for start of autumn
latest attack: isis created a lamb chop puppet with a realistic human ass
trump fulfills campaign promise of pushing major immigration decision on someone else so he can watch tv
report: today the day woman either quits job or goes home and watches 4 hours of netflix
trump says russia helped him win election
nostalgic scientists rediscover polio vaccine
trump announces he'll pay legal fees of any rally attendee who beats up ted cruz
toaster really hitting its stride recently
jimmy fallon six tantalizing months from disappearing forever
woman rises early to sow seeds of day's first gchats
liechtenstein successfully tests teeny tiny nuclear bomb
shaven, cologned grandpa heads into town to rake in d-day pussy
fourth-grader named jackson to someday fire you
environmentalists speak out against excessive cheese logging
neighbors come together to watch bmw owner struggle in snow
local idiot to post comment on internet
sweating obama admits drone strikes have been happening on their own
new ‘star wars’ film once again disappoints die-hard nien nunb fans
5 questions: ‘i’d like to order a scientific investigation into how tugboats can move boats that are so much larger than them’: 5 questions with elizabeth warren
‘sorry about the tornado or whatever,’ says trump wolfing down bowl of chili while consoling el paso shooting victim
vessel for male sexual gratification very sad today

man's eyes glaze over whenever politician starts threatening to plunge him into serf-like subjugation

new 'war' enables mankind to resolve disagreements

taste acquired

nra: 'please try to remember all the wonderful things guns do for us every day'

30-million-year-old species worried it doesn’t have another evolution in it

'are you the whistleblower?' trump boys ask white house janitor after giving him serum of all the sodas mixed together

sean spicer given own press secretary to answer media's questions about his controversial statements

area power walker looks just ridiculous

editors of 'good car' magazine: 'the 2013 hyundai sonata is a good car'

mute, terrified rubio awakes to find self unable to vocalize any unscripted sentiment

officials: clear similarities between boeing 737 max 8 crashes

report: it apparently time in conversation to smile, laugh

you must learn them: 6 secrets for enjoying a big cup of soda

supreme court justice application asks for 3 sample opinions

everyone involved in pizza's preparation, delivery, purchase extremely high

commerce secretary urges nation to get in on piece of the action

new pre-sauced napkins can be thrown away straight from package

senior prank somehow leaves high school with increased math funding

family excited to see dad making friends in new neighborhood

local dullard opts for vocational school

clean-shaven, tuxedoed james holmes charms courtroom in latest appearance

area dad needs more time with museum plaque

more office workers switching to fetal position desks | video | the onion

'what about that whole birth certificate thing?' romney suggests to staff

'scooter' libby wishes he'd ditched nickname before media coverage

they said what?!: find out what james cameron, ken burns, and amy adams have to say

secretary of agriculture gently reminded about dress code

frank gehry no longer allowed to make sandwiches for grandkids

hummingbird back at feeder again, grandmother reports

house condescendingly approves $400 in added stimulus

seeds of discontent

buyer of $450 million da vinci painting sort of assumed it would come with frame

'farm aid aid' concert to benefit struggling farm aid concerts

5 questions: ‘i had to squeeze my testicles between two cinderblocks to get angry enough to write “lose yourself”’: 5 questions with eminem

house democrats issue condemnation of ukraine for making it harder to avoid impeaching trump

outside not looking forward to people wanting to walk around in it again this summer

over 417,000 hours of private presidential conversations discovered after no one remembered to turn off richard nixon’s tape recorder

report: it crazy mlb still counts stats from segregated era

terrier bravely defends family from squeak

what is your amateur porn telling employers about you?

nypd tickets dead cyclist for obstructing bike lane

quiz: your parents are my parents now.

nbc unveils on screen graphic informing audience they are watching football

nation's optimists need to shut the fuck up right now

motion picture academy releases complete list of films that can be enjoyed without supporting sexual predator

national archives clearly stored constitution in three-ring binder

fantasy football star confident he can make leap to general manager of nfl team

this list of decorative placemats is a testament to our restraint at a time when literally any ‘game of thrones’ content whatsoever would go viral

upset red sox fan demands to speak to manager

otherwise savvy woman duped by mascara makers again

80 percent of u.s. populace now selling handmade jewelry

police homicide investigation uncovers cap in ass

senator misses simpler time when he could do abominable things in peace

coworker most valuable to office when he fails to show up

crowd roars in approval as makeup-smeared trump begs rally to tell him he’s beautiful

harvard officials say $8.9 million donation from jeffrey epstein was from brief recovery period when he wasn’t a pedophile

space shuttle endeavour: what's in it for me?

trump complains about overly complicated controls needed to operate modern-day doors

report: u.s. exported 6 billion tons of crude web content last year

news: taking precautions: donald trump is having the teeth of all of his cabinet members removed so they cannot bite him

child bankrupts make-a-wish foundation with wish for unlimited wishes

nasa launches first cordless satellite

woman could listen to british guy scream for help all day

paul ryan just put out a comprehensive 14-point plan to fully debase himself for the trump administration

every day of local dad's life an endless battle to hold on to good pen

north korea successfully harvests wheat in show of growing strength

fda defends decision to reclassify alternative milks as 'nut sweat'

guillermo del toro: 'in today's society, the true monsters are the horrifying, flesh-eating gargoyles'

news: it’s theirs now: dozens of bikers showed up to the capitol building and now it’s a biker congress

video: heartwarming! this man’s wife fell into a manhole 20 years ago and every day he still lowers a rotisserie chicken into the sewer for her

gop claims kavanaugh shouldn’t lose appointment for youthful indiscretion of repeatedly lying under oath

to differentiate itself from ‘playerunknown’s battlegrounds,’ the game has added a map set inside a law firm that specializes in the nuances of copyright infringement: everything you need to know about ‘fortnite’

12% of federal government that's currently functioning to shut down

bush followed everywhere by line of baby ducks

grandmother can't believe they let people with tattoos on price is right

whale won't shut up about time it was beached

dnc aiming to reconnect with working-class americans with new 'hamilton'-inspired lena dunham web series

unhinged man with jackhammer slips into construction site undetected

new job posting on craigslist clearly for secretary of the interior

indoor grill owner can't wait for start of autumn

latest attack: isis created a lamb chop puppet with a realistic human ass

trump fulfills campaign promise of pushing major immigration decision on someone else so he can watch tv

report: today the day woman either quits job or goes home and watches 4 hours of netflix

trump says russia helped him win election

nostalgic scientists rediscover polio vaccine

trump announces he'll pay legal fees of any rally attendee who beats up ted cruz

toaster really hitting its stride recently

jimmy fallon six tantalizing months from disappearing forever

woman rises early to sow seeds of day's first gchats

liechtenstein successfully tests teeny tiny nuclear bomb

shaven, cologned grandpa heads into town to rake in d-day pussy

fourth-grader named jackson to someday fire you

environmentalists speak out against excessive cheese logging

neighbors come together to watch bmw owner struggle in snow

local idiot to post comment on internet

sweating obama admits drone strikes have been happening on their own

new ‘star wars’ film once again disappoints die-hard nien nunb fans

5 questions: ‘i’d like to order a scientific investigation into how tugboats can move boats that are so much larger than them’: 5 questions with elizabeth warren

‘sorry about the tornado or whatever,’ says trump wolfing down bowl of chili while consoling el paso shooting victim

vessel for male sexual gratification very sad today