ejjaffe/onion_headlines_2_sources · Datasets at Hugging Face

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royal wedding watch: meghan markle is wearing the centuries-old diamond-and-sapphire nuvaring given to her by the queen
popeyes escalates chick-fil-a rivalry with new sandwich featuring dan cathy’s battered, fried loved ones
new weather channel sitcom about three guys, three girls, one storm system
performers frantically trying to incorporate spewing sewage pipe into rio opening ceremony
'it's simply bursting with creative wonder,' says reviewer of new game where mario sometimes dresses as chef
west hollywood urges removal of trump’s walk of fame star
stephen hawking reportedly working on juicy tell-all formula
going to make this brand tie-in work as best we can: 5 dark and spooky horror stories that feature claritin-d
cambridge analytica whistleblower admits last few weeks at work have been awkward
national security crisis: the white house is in panic mode after president trump tweeted ‘karate dave is coming to kill me’
routine drunk-driving trip turns tragic for five local teens
kerry takes frustration out on lobster
the week in pictures – week of june 25, 2018
new study finds most of earth's landmass will be phoenix suburb by 2050
astronomers celebrate 300th anniversary of discovering sky
smithsonian institution politely declines sofa from charles in charge
destiny's child referred to as 'feminist icons' with straight face
supreme court leaves final decision on gay marriage in capable hands of texas, alabama, georgia
teen's eulogy mostly nickelback lyrics
graffiti artist completes masterwork 'still life of marijuana leaf'
sweeping new labor reforms allow foxconn employees to work in inhumane conditions from home
fifty years ago
report: tv teens 15 times more likely to crack wise than real teens
standard deviation not enough for perverted statistician
life: avoid these 4 common mistakes when applying to secret harvard
oscars create new truman capote biopic category
7th heaven celebrates 100th underage drinking episode
last civil war tortoise dies
more bad press for elon: the car elon musk launched into orbit has fallen back down to earth and crushed malala yousafzai
life: body positivity win: dove released a shock collar that sends 5,000 volts through a woman’s body whenever she doubts her own beauty
ipod flaunted
clinton aide told to leave behind weak volunteer who collapsed during march to south carolina
bird has big plans for cage
all-knowing invisible hand of free market once again guides millions in profits to nation's bead stores
christmas really over, man realizes as iphone game switches out holiday icon
‘ni no kuni’: remastering done right, but gameplay is marred by my newborn son's constantly screaming
i used to think interracial marriage was wrong, but now i think about egg salad so often that i hardly ever worry about interracial marriage anymore
blog: i’m so confident that the phony liberal media won’t publish this pro-life article that i’m using it to store all my embarrassing photos of me bathing in hog slop
brilliant strategy: this man is pretending to piss for a little longer at the urinal so he doesn’t have to talk to one of his coworkers washing his hands
obama clears 2,000 square miles of u.s. airspace for new free-range drone preserve
breaking new ground: beto o’rourke has become the first presidential candidate available as a ‘smash ultimate’ dlc fighter
'breitbart' refusing to release names of mass shooting victims in order to prevent them from getting attention
ice cream man hopes scott joplin is in hell
‘jeopardy!’ bans obsessive weirdos who ruin the fun by preparing way too much for show
amount of water man just used to wash dish to be prize of hand-to-hand combat match in 2065
neither boss nor employee paid enough to deal with each other
teens 'going to town' with restaurant comment cards \| the onion
asthmatic child tired of hearing list of famous asthmatics
onion social study finds no clear link between onion social use, uncontrollable vomiting of black bile
supporters aggravated bernie sanders didn’t use dnc speech to get voters to act against their own self-interest
real estate developers push to rebrand murder heights neighborhood of baltimore
town still can't think of name for largest, most used street
how to talk to your child about the election results
freemasons return to jupiter
area man guesses he'll learn the difference between shiites and sunnis
americans finally recognize own country again after president does half-assed job walking back humanitarian crimes
blog: i’m privileged to live in a suburban neighborhood with virtually no crime, but if someone does commit a crime here, it’ll probably be a super fucked-up one
more elderly americans keeping active by maintaining control of senate
"porkin' across america" may be the onion's darkest, most fucked up series ever.
‘i can’t do this anymore,’ think 320 million americans quietly going about day
man clearly gamed 'which teenage mutant ninja turtle are you?' quiz to get raphael
crypout [fresh] write to me! trucanlaeni
study: 63% of all human speech occurs under breath
life: we asked 22 survivors of the 2010 chilean mine disaster what’s the worst mine disaster they’ve ever experienced
bus rider clutching head in pain completely ignored
st. louis rams threaten to leave town unless taxpayers personally build stadium with bare hands
ad campaign appeals to young, hip, influenced-by-ad-campaigns demographic
area stadium inadequate
mars lander staggers into nasa headquarters drunk, broke
coworker who already breathes, chews loudly thinking about getting into arrhythmically drumming on desk
pope francis wears miter with faceshield to comply with new vatican safety measures
news: ultimate fan experience: this philadelphia eagles fan walked in on the whole team masturbating
football program in jeopardy after high school allocates $500,000 to ‘little women’ production
the onion's recurring series of articles portraying joe biden as a lovable douchebag.
new amazon ‘make an offer’ feature allows shoppers to haggle over price \| the onion - america's finest news source
life: feminism ftw: scholastic is releasing an empowering book series about historical princesses that blacks out the chapter where they get married at age 12
whales beach selves in attempt to purchase 'the onion book of known knowledge'
5 biggest unanswered questions for ‘game of thrones’ final season
white house convenes panel of scientists to make case that trump capable of crushing train with bare hands
and they said he was too old: bernie sanders just showed up to a rally wearing a propeller beanie and a 1920s bathing suit and announced that he is 13-years-old
calculus problem hits too close to home
cancerous tumor befriends small boy
jared kushner excited to finally visit white house after gaining security clearance
friendless loser? play this video at maximum volume to make your neighbors think you have lots of friends over for a 'point break' viewing party!
postal service: 'and wait until you cocksuckers see what we do with wednesdays'
boy scout officials: ‘we believe all children, regardless of gender, deserve the opportunity to one day die alone in the woods’
nation still outraged 1933 best picture went to 'cavalcade' instead of 'lady for a day'
forensic evidence shows signs of feeble struggle
when this high schooler asked emma stone to be his date to prom, she said yes but then got so trashed in the limo on the way there that she didn’t even make it into the dance
report: 92% of divorced parents get back together if children ask enough times
‘please, let it die’: the creators of ‘stranger things’ are preemptively begging fans not to do a viral campaign to save the show when it gets canceled
dateline nbc report inspired by actual events
historical archives: john jameson's miracle concoction
obama finishes production on new netflix reality series where 24 young women vie for heart of former president
‘no way to prevent this,’ says only nation where this regularly happens
home depot employee can tell this customer’s first attempt at pipe bomb
official sprints through giant inflatable referee hat to take field for super bowl
small town honors once-ostracized artist
increasingly paranoid campbell's begins stockpiling all its soup to prepare for doomsday
woman always thought she would have more impressive showerhead by this age

royal wedding watch: meghan markle is wearing the centuries-old diamond-and-sapphire nuvaring given to her by the queen

popeyes escalates chick-fil-a rivalry with new sandwich featuring dan cathy’s battered, fried loved ones

new weather channel sitcom about three guys, three girls, one storm system

performers frantically trying to incorporate spewing sewage pipe into rio opening ceremony

'it's simply bursting with creative wonder,' says reviewer of new game where mario sometimes dresses as chef

west hollywood urges removal of trump’s walk of fame star

stephen hawking reportedly working on juicy tell-all formula

going to make this brand tie-in work as best we can: 5 dark and spooky horror stories that feature claritin-d

cambridge analytica whistleblower admits last few weeks at work have been awkward

national security crisis: the white house is in panic mode after president trump tweeted ‘karate dave is coming to kill me’

routine drunk-driving trip turns tragic for five local teens

kerry takes frustration out on lobster

the week in pictures – week of june 25, 2018

new study finds most of earth's landmass will be phoenix suburb by 2050

astronomers celebrate 300th anniversary of discovering sky

smithsonian institution politely declines sofa from charles in charge

destiny's child referred to as 'feminist icons' with straight face

supreme court leaves final decision on gay marriage in capable hands of texas, alabama, georgia

teen's eulogy mostly nickelback lyrics

graffiti artist completes masterwork 'still life of marijuana leaf'

sweeping new labor reforms allow foxconn employees to work in inhumane conditions from home

fifty years ago

report: tv teens 15 times more likely to crack wise than real teens

standard deviation not enough for perverted statistician

life: avoid these 4 common mistakes when applying to secret harvard

oscars create new truman capote biopic category

7th heaven celebrates 100th underage drinking episode

last civil war tortoise dies

more bad press for elon: the car elon musk launched into orbit has fallen back down to earth and crushed malala yousafzai

life: body positivity win: dove released a shock collar that sends 5,000 volts through a woman’s body whenever she doubts her own beauty

ipod flaunted

clinton aide told to leave behind weak volunteer who collapsed during march to south carolina

bird has big plans for cage

all-knowing invisible hand of free market once again guides millions in profits to nation's bead stores

christmas really over, man realizes as iphone game switches out holiday icon

‘ni no kuni’: remastering done right, but gameplay is marred by my newborn son's constantly screaming

i used to think interracial marriage was wrong, but now i think about egg salad so often that i hardly ever worry about interracial marriage anymore

blog: i’m so confident that the phony liberal media won’t publish this pro-life article that i’m using it to store all my embarrassing photos of me bathing in hog slop

brilliant strategy: this man is pretending to piss for a little longer at the urinal so he doesn’t have to talk to one of his coworkers washing his hands

obama clears 2,000 square miles of u.s. airspace for new free-range drone preserve

breaking new ground: beto o’rourke has become the first presidential candidate available as a ‘smash ultimate’ dlc fighter

'breitbart' refusing to release names of mass shooting victims in order to prevent them from getting attention

ice cream man hopes scott joplin is in hell

‘jeopardy!’ bans obsessive weirdos who ruin the fun by preparing way too much for show

amount of water man just used to wash dish to be prize of hand-to-hand combat match in 2065

neither boss nor employee paid enough to deal with each other

teens 'going to town' with restaurant comment cards | the onion

asthmatic child tired of hearing list of famous asthmatics

onion social study finds no clear link between onion social use, uncontrollable vomiting of black bile

supporters aggravated bernie sanders didn’t use dnc speech to get voters to act against their own self-interest

real estate developers push to rebrand murder heights neighborhood of baltimore

town still can't think of name for largest, most used street

how to talk to your child about the election results

freemasons return to jupiter

area man guesses he'll learn the difference between shiites and sunnis

americans finally recognize own country again after president does half-assed job walking back humanitarian crimes

blog: i’m privileged to live in a suburban neighborhood with virtually no crime, but if someone does commit a crime here, it’ll probably be a super fucked-up one

more elderly americans keeping active by maintaining control of senate

"porkin' across america" may be the onion's darkest, most fucked up series ever.

‘i can’t do this anymore,’ think 320 million americans quietly going about day

man clearly gamed 'which teenage mutant ninja turtle are you?' quiz to get raphael

crypout [fresh] write to me! trucanlaeni

study: 63% of all human speech occurs under breath

life: we asked 22 survivors of the 2010 chilean mine disaster what’s the worst mine disaster they’ve ever experienced

bus rider clutching head in pain completely ignored

st. louis rams threaten to leave town unless taxpayers personally build stadium with bare hands

ad campaign appeals to young, hip, influenced-by-ad-campaigns demographic

area stadium inadequate

mars lander staggers into nasa headquarters drunk, broke

coworker who already breathes, chews loudly thinking about getting into arrhythmically drumming on desk

pope francis wears miter with faceshield to comply with new vatican safety measures

news: ultimate fan experience: this philadelphia eagles fan walked in on the whole team masturbating

football program in jeopardy after high school allocates $500,000 to ‘little women’ production

the onion's recurring series of articles portraying joe biden as a lovable douchebag.

new amazon ‘make an offer’ feature allows shoppers to haggle over price | the onion - america's finest news source

life: feminism ftw: scholastic is releasing an empowering book series about historical princesses that blacks out the chapter where they get married at age 12

whales beach selves in attempt to purchase 'the onion book of known knowledge'

5 biggest unanswered questions for ‘game of thrones’ final season

white house convenes panel of scientists to make case that trump capable of crushing train with bare hands

and they said he was too old: bernie sanders just showed up to a rally wearing a propeller beanie and a 1920s bathing suit and announced that he is 13-years-old

calculus problem hits too close to home

cancerous tumor befriends small boy

jared kushner excited to finally visit white house after gaining security clearance

friendless loser? play this video at maximum volume to make your neighbors think you have lots of friends over for a 'point break' viewing party!

postal service: 'and wait until you cocksuckers see what we do with wednesdays'

boy scout officials: ‘we believe all children, regardless of gender, deserve the opportunity to one day die alone in the woods’

nation still outraged 1933 best picture went to 'cavalcade' instead of 'lady for a day'

forensic evidence shows signs of feeble struggle

when this high schooler asked emma stone to be his date to prom, she said yes but then got so trashed in the limo on the way there that she didn’t even make it into the dance

report: 92% of divorced parents get back together if children ask enough times

‘please, let it die’: the creators of ‘stranger things’ are preemptively begging fans not to do a viral campaign to save the show when it gets canceled

dateline nbc report inspired by actual events

historical archives: john jameson's miracle concoction

obama finishes production on new netflix reality series where 24 young women vie for heart of former president

‘no way to prevent this,’ says only nation where this regularly happens

home depot employee can tell this customer’s first attempt at pipe bomb

official sprints through giant inflatable referee hat to take field for super bowl

small town honors once-ostracized artist

increasingly paranoid campbell's begins stockpiling all its soup to prepare for doomsday

woman always thought she would have more impressive showerhead by this age