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depression symptom checklist speaking to area man as no poem ever could
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ball park franks introduces new foot-wide hotdogs
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bored gop vetting rand paul just to kill time before viable 2016 candidate emerges
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lone, weak bystander targeted by pack of female friends who want their picture taken
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ruth bader ginsburg debating whether to cancel winter vacation climbing k2
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actual problem a nice change of pace for anxious man
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secretary of treasury announces plan to remove gross penny from circulation
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amazon ceo jeff bezos: my advice to anyone starting a business is to remember that someday i will crush you
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blog: i wish the avatars were yellow (by james cameron)
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bag of potatoes desperately searching for dirt
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rod stewart mistaken for elderly aunt
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super bowl stadium solemnly stands, places hands over heart for maroon 5 halftime show
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report: fax machines still pretty impressive if you think about it
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hillary clinton campaign shuts down after blowing through $2 billion in first month
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kid diving into pile of leaves has no idea there homeless guy jerking off in there
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town nervously welcomes veteran back home
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the scream poster stolen from area dorm room
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how i made 12 000 in 20 days without spending a dime?7o_dz_l5_3gz
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manufacturer manufactures love to wife
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3 cups of coffee confident they can take man’s anxiety from here
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man wearing sunglasses upside down on back of head still recovering from paul walker’s death
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stephen miller palms ice agent $50 bill in exchange for a little alone time with detained migrants
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life: incredible: this innovative cpr dummy comes with a second dummy that audibly mourns its dead son
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huckabee sanders tells colleagues she’s taking temporary post as google ceo before transitioning into full-time role as sultan of brunei
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man with new generator hoping for power outage
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cryptic long john silver's campaign just says 'you are the bait now'
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teen’s natural drive to murder sexual rivals successfully channeled into ‘super smash bros.’ victory
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clinton to get teeth cleaning, glasses before coverage runs out
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speeding up the game: the mlb will no longer allow pitchers to deliver stirring monologues between pitches
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horrified authorities discover one-day-old funnel cake abandoned in dumpster
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senate passes bipartisan resolution preventing themselves from stopping trump
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if hamster only knew what happened to last hamster
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experimental anti-aging treatment still has few kinks, report infant researchers
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open-minded music lover likes all kinds of metal
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cameron crowe to release only soundtracks
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my ex - whore, nickname: liza118. search can be registered
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update: 'the onion' has halted production on our travel tips video narrated by jeremy piven
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eulogy filled with pro-christian propaganda
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104-year-old reveals secret to long life being cursed by witch to wander earth eternally
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eric trump scolds father that he mustn’t inquire about the businesses, for he’s sworn not to tell
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every driver in roundabout just winging it
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major breakthrough: medical researchers just announced that a 400-pound child simply ain’t right
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failed musician comes crawling back to hometown
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nation horrified to discover cory booker already a senator
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despite armie hammer profile in 'good housekeeping' magazine, 'lone ranger' a flop at box office
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8 photos of fat emma stone that i have brought to you from my dimension at great personal cost
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top issues for voters in the 2016 election
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united states sends laos bill for 80 million undetonated bombs still left in country from vietnam war
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'new york times' reader stoked after noticing article penned by favorite reporting duo
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honda civic refusing to start engine in solidarity with striking uber workers
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hope in students' eyes too much for screenwriting teacher to handle this week
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new app matches you with others in vicinity who wasted $2.99 on same app
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ted nugent talks that way even when buying socks
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area dad to spend next few days or so telling son it important to respect women
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pence unveils campaign to educate teens about dangers of premarital eye contact
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dad spends entire vacation 8 steps ahead of family
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a primer on everyday sexism
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gunman opens fire in own mcdonald's
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spooked rubio staffers drive slowly past abandoned jeb bush campaign headquarters
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man has never given single definitive yes to any invitation he's ever received
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disgusting gyro meat magically turns delicious after midnight
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8-year-old boy surprises marine dad during firefight in afghanistan
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man forced to pathetically comb through movie for familiar scene after falling asleep previous night
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philip morris: 'please talk to your cooler children about cigarettes'
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daytime-talk-show mixup leads to 1,000-pound- man makeover
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cat likes it doggy style
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beautiful: this boy put the basketball under his shirt and now he is pregnant with the basketball
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the onion apologizes
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warren buffett tells colleagues about exciting investment opportunity he recently discovered selling mary kay beauty products
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watching thousands march in his honor unlocks deeper, darker corner of trump’s psyche
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man's bloodstream enjoys hour-long intermission between coffee, alcohol blitzes
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‘moonlight’ named best picture after mishap
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blog: our country has become worryingly desensitized to violence in hot-sauce names
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steven spielberg criticizes netflix for ruining golden age of pandering big-budget corporate films
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new rnc ad endorses roy moore: ‘he’s a scumbag, but he’s our scumbag’
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man invisible on gchat observes world from impregnable perch
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political pundits surprisingly good at getting inside mentally unbalanced shooter's head
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nation's financial advisors recommend capturing magical creature that grants wishes
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dog doesn't consider itself part of family
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'employees must wash hands' signs top iraqi hospital wish list
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glorious heyday of youth spent in parking lot
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applebee's steak sent back for not being properly slathered
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are we meeting the needs of our nation's rich?
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burned-out coffee-shop employee just lets paul simon play for fifth time
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motorcyclist salvaged for parts
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life: everyday hero: when this pregnant woman couldn’t find a seat on a train, this man decided to stand on his in solidarity
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mask hysteria
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abu ghraib inside joke lost on rest of world
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deluded: this girl somehow thinks she’s going to be chosen to speak at graduation even though a kid in her class beat cancer
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worthless dog can't talk, drive, solve crimes
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corporate merger renders thousands of coffee mugs obsolete
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27-year-old lies about every single aspect of his life to keep parents from worrying
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beloved father and infrequent pornography user loses 3-year battle with cancer
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migrant child coming down from drugs freaked out to discover cage actually real
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alexandria ocasio-cortez said what?!
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perfect gentleman does not assault drunk woman
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25% of u.s. adults suffer hearing loss
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enough is enough. it’s time for our politicians to ask the nra for permission to enact modest gun control measures.
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dzhokar tsarnaev finally moves off campus
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congress passes antisocial insecurity act
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