subreddit
string | title
string | text
string | created_utc
string | id
string | alexithymia
int64 | adhd_risk
int64 |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
Alexithymia
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I feel so crazy
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So I’ll start off by saying I’m not diagnosed but my therapist and I have been venturing(?) this idea I could be alexithymic. I just turned 21, this is my first year in therapy. Previously I asked my mom for years (from about 14) and this year I was lucky enough to find a therapist that takes my insurance. I’ve ALWAYS had issues with my emotions, but not like from what I’m researching and reading on the forums. I feel so many emotions. So so many, and I don’t think I could tell you why 95% of the time. I have so many crying spells for no reason. Or for a reason but I’m not sure what I’m feeling from it. Sometimes the best I can do is tell my bf if I’m feeling positive or negative.
I don’t want to be distant, but every time I feel a big emotional change I just go non-verbal. I don’t want to be I want to tell people what I’m feeling cause when I do it helps but I never fucking know I have so many thoughts all the time, I just want to know what’s wrong with me.
I’m so sorry for this spiral and mess of a post I just would really appreciate people with similar experience or research links or I’m not sure what I’m even looking for but I need help, because of the only thing for sure I know is I feel so crazy.
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2025-01-27T03:52:04
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1iaz288
| 0 | 0 |
Alexithymia
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Feeling bad mentally or physically?
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Does anyone else have trouble telling if they’re feeling bad mentally or physically sometimes? I usually end up thinking it’s probably just physical, which makes sense since one of the symptoms of alexithymia is feeling things physically instead of emotionally.
I feel like this might be part of alexithymia too. What do you think? Does anyone else feel the same? Just to be clear, I’m not guessing if I have alexithymia—I know I do—but I mean this one specific thing.
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2025-01-27T06:18:59
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1ib1laf
| 1 | 0 |
Alexithymia
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Difficulty watching television.
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Would love to hear your guys opinion on this. I have never been a big fan of TV shows and I am currently being made to watch one and I have started to realize why I don't enjoy them. I just can't understand the emotional aspects of it. The characters are going through various relationship issues and the others I am watching with are all invested and gasping when there's a big reveal and talking amongst themselves about what the characters should do and I just don't get it.
I understand the program and the situations they are showing but I don't seem to resonate with any of it like everyone else.
Does anyone here get the same way? Guess I'll stick to my documentaries.
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2025-01-26T16:41:20
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1iaj88x
| 0 | 0 |
Alexithymia
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How does alexithymia affect how we feel fear?
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Ok so, I was scared of someone (for good reason. I should've stayed away ngl), but I still wanted to have a friendship with them. But like, my hands would tremble, I'd feel unusually cold, I'd be hyper aware of where they are during class, and I'd get the physical urge to run
So I was terrified.
But I didn't know that
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2025-01-26T11:42:33
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1iach1v
| 1 | 0 |
Alexithymia
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Predictive coding in relation to emotions
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I came across the predictive coding theory of autism, and thought it could potentially be related to emotions in neurodivergent people. The theory essentially suggests that our brain is constantly predicting sensory inputs based on other sensory inputs. Everything we observe needs to be explained by other sensory experiences or prior observations. However, in autism, there’s often a lack of strong priors—pre-existing mental models that help neurotypical brains make fast and automatic assumptions about the world.
For example, when a neurotypical person meets someone new, they unconsciously use priors—past experiences, stereotypes, and social expectations—to fill in the gaps. But for autistic individuals, the brain may not automatically generate these priors, leading to a different way of experiencing and interpreting the world.
Prediction Errors and Information Processing
If you watch a video of someone and they say something unexpected or odd, your brain generates a prediction error—an inconsistency between what you expected and what you actually observed. The brain then needs to account for and resolve this error.
One way to explain the prediction error is by actively generating observations—asking, “What might have happened in this person’s life for them to say that?”
This leads to generating hypotheses:
• Perhaps the person had a certain type of social circle.
• Maybe they have read a certain stream of thinkers, shaping their perspective.
You can also actively visualize this process—imagine the person reading specific books, engaging in certain discussions, or being exposed to particular experiences that shaped their thinking.
The Challenge of Lacking Priors
The problem arises when we lack priors. Without them, it requires immense cognitive effort to continuously process and explain every small inconsistency in the world. This is particularly difficult in a society flooded with mass information, social complexity, and unpredictable human behavior.
Alternatively, we can frame this as asking, “What is the origin of this thing I am observing?”
But origins can be highly complex, often requiring deep investigation.
Applying This to Social Dynamics
This concept extends to social dynamics as well. If an interaction unfolds in an unexpected way, instead of taking it at face value, one could ask:
• “What happened before this interaction?”
• “What set the stage for this behavior?”
You could even apply this thinking to public figures—for example, someone like Elon Musk. Instead of simply analyzing his actions in isolation, you could generate data to explain his behavior:
• How did he live as a child?
• What are his habits at home?
• What social and intellectual environments shaped his decisions?
By applying predictive coding principles, we begin to see that behavior is never random—it is always the result of prior inputs, experiences, and context.
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2025-01-26T13:49:14
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1iaez9c
| 0 | 0 |
Alexithymia
|
Compatibility Problem
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Hi all,
My autistic partner and I have been having some really hard conversations lately. We love each other but aren't sure we're compatible anymore.
I'm fairly sure he has cognitive alexithymia - he always needs quite a long time (hours to days) to identify his emotions and others.
He *can* feel what others feel implicitly, but he can't describe it or talk about it without difficulty (writing things down is somewhat easier for him).
This all translates to him not realizing when things aren't okay with me until I spell it out for him. If I go quiet, withdrawn, or seem down, he occasionally notices but often I have to say something first.
The other day I was crying - hard - and he was holding the roll of toilet paper I'd been using for tissues. He just watched me cry without offering me any, or saying anything to me, although judging by his face and posture I could tell he was feeling sad *with* me.
The main problem is that I'm hyper empathetic. I'm a teacher, disabled and a woman, AND my mom was a social worker, so I was raised to be self-aware and aware of others to the extreme.
I feel like I take care of everyone else's big feelings all day, staying strong and not giving into my own so my students have a calm, steady adult they can trust, but when I get home, I want someone to take care of *my* feelings a bit: offer me a cup of tea, notice when I'm sad, that sort of thing. I hate that I always have to verbally "wave my arms around" to get my partner to be "attuned" to me.
We've talked about his struggles with empathy and he knows that if nothing changes, this is a deal breaker for me.
I don't want to change him, or make him be someone he's not. He's said he doesnt want to keep hurting me without meaning to.But he's also expressed that he doesn't want to lose me and is doing some soul-searching to assess whether anything can -or should- be done about the situation.
I don't even know what I need; just kindness, I guess.
Thanks for listening, gang.
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2025-01-25T21:02:02
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1i9wyf2
| 1 | 0 |
Alexithymia
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Do you ever get used to it???
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I just feel like a husk of a human being for months now, my creativity is gone, i cannot feel happiness, sadness,fear,anxiety,excitement,love, anything really and ive just accepted that it won't ever go away and that i may have to live with it for the rest of my life.
It just hurts so much, i would give anything to feel even sadness or fear again i just want to feel something.
Does it get better or do you adapt?
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2025-01-25T18:05:12
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1i9swqk
| 0 | 0 |
Alexithymia
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Alexithymia and asymmetrical mentalisation
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I want to discuss a phenomenon I’ve been looking into regarding mentalization—the ability to infer other people’s thoughts, emotions, and intentions.
What I’ve noticed is that something strange happens in cases of asymmetrical mentalization. In many settings—whether on social media, in real life, or in observed interactions—the person speaking or acting is often coming from a strategy, an attempt at dishonesty, or manipulation, yet they don’t realize that others may see through them.
It’s often said that neurodiverse people are better at detecting deception or insincerity, but I think this also applies to many social interactions in general. This can be very confusing because the person who is being deceptive assumes they got away with it, even when their intentions are clearly visible to someone who is more perceptive.
For example, when you see an ad using an obviously manipulative marketing tactic, it’s clear what they’re trying to do—but the advertiser assumes you don’t recognize the manipulation. This doesn’t just happen in marketing but also in daily interactions. For instance, imagine a colleague who is normally hostile, but suddenly becomes friendly because they need something. They act as though their friendliness is genuine, seemingly unaware that you can easily see through the shift in behavior.
This is where asymmetrical mentalization comes in. They are operating within a “mental space” where they strategize, assuming you can’t see their motives—yet you can. This means that while they think they’ve succeeded in manipulating the situation, you know exactly what they’re doing.
For myself, I’ve noticed that I normally only focus on the thoughts we both know we are assessing about each other, staying in a shared mental space. But when I start considering the thoughts they think I don’t have about them, that’s when mentalization becomes asymmetrical.
I’m not sure how neurotypical people handle this, but I find that I can’t fully connect with someone unless I also take into account these hidden, asymmetrical thoughts—the ones they assume I don’t perceive.
This creates a strange situation where I have to live with the fact that they think they succeeded in their deception, even when they didn’t. It also feels like a lack of meta-mentalization on their part—they don’t seem to be aware that I am detecting their real thoughts, or at least some of the ones they think I can’t see.
Interestingly, when I do detect these hidden thoughts, I feel more emotionally engaged. If I only focus on the surface-level facade they present, I struggle to feel anything. But if I tap into their real underlying motives, I can finally recognize emotions like “Oh my god, this is manipulative”, or “This is what they’re trying to do.”
Without this deeper perception, I almost feel nothing at all.
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2025-01-25T18:35:57
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1i9tm0h
| 1 | 0 |
Alexithymia
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Alexithymia and saying your own name
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I’ve noticed a strange phenomenon related to Alexithymia, where repeatedly saying my name throughout the day seems to enhance my emotional self-awareness. If I say my name frequently, such as:
• Upon waking up
• When motivating myself
• When trying to identify emotions or situational awareness
…it seems to activate a complex set of thoughts and emotions. This process helps me become more aware of what I’m feeling, what’s happening around me, why I’m in a certain situation, and what others are doing. It’s almost as if saying my name triggers emotional recognition and cognitive clarity.
It works even better when I say; I am [insert name].
I’m curious if anyone else has experienced something similar or has come across research or theories that might explain this effect.
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2025-01-24T16:44:43
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1i8zrb5
| 1 | 0 |
Alexithymia
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Numb
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I just found out what Alexithymia is recently and i think i might have it. I never had a crush in my whole life, this is gonna sound so bad but i dont think i love my family even. I dont feel love towards any living thing in general and i also dont know anything about emotions. I mimick what other people tell me they feel, i do stuff like reacting to someone being sad in a way that i see other people react, but i dont feel empathy towards anyone like deeply, i just know i should feel bad and pretend i do. Basically every emotion i put out is pretending. How do i know if i have this or if im just a weird person? For a little more info im 17, i have no idea about these kinda stuff and my family in general isnt the kind that would show alot of emotions but when they tell me they love me everytime i answer back i feel like im lying because i dont feel it yk what i mean.
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2025-01-24T21:18:09
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1i96a0w
| 1 | 0 |
Alexithymia
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A Take on Alexithymia and Neurodiverse People
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I want to present just a take on what has been helpful for me, and I’m appreciative of any feedback. But I do realize there are some more unconventional takes in here. So I’m just going to share what I think could be at play when it comes to Alexithymia and neurodiverse people.
Over the years, I started to notice that one of the ways I differ in cognitive style is that I’m very sensory. That includes all sensory channels—mainly visual and auditory, but also touch, taste, and smell. What I mean by that is that I love sensory descriptions of things, from high-level features (general observations in a scene) to more low-level sensory details. This actually aligns very much with the narrative style of descriptive realism, where complete stories and books are written with rich sensory descriptions.
I find it very comforting not only to read this style in books and hear people talk about experiences (such as a travel story with great sensory detail, where it feels like reality is being presented), but also when it comes to research and theories. The way I like to learn about theories in any field is when I get sensory descriptions—for example, a detailed account of an experiment, describing what has actually been done, so that I can draw my own conclusions. I prefer this over just hearing assertions without evidence, where the evidence should ideally be in the form of sensory descriptions.
Now, I’m saying all of this because I think this sensory style is directly tied to emotions, though not in a straightforward way. Over time, I noticed that because we are so sensory, the way we potentially empathize with people is also very much through visual perspective-taking.
It’s strange for me personally to realize that, for the longest time, I don’t think I engaged in visual perspective-taking at all. But then, suddenly, I discovered that it is possible to visually “jump” into someone’s experience, seeing the sensory perspective from their point of view. This means that, again, you could describe things from their experience and see how they see the world.
At that point, I thought: This is our empathy mechanism. But something wasn’t working—until I started to connect this idea with the concept of extreme egalitarianism and the non-exclusionary mechanism.
This is another claim that I don’t have time to go into in great detail, but I believe that autistic and other neurodiverse people tend to be much more egalitarian—we don’t exclude people, or not innately at least. Because of this, it becomes very difficult to see what non-autistic people see from their perspective unless we conceptually account for their exclusionary mechanism.
If we really want to connect with non-autistic people, we need to explicitly—this is my claim—account for the exclusionary mechanism.
The Exclusionary Mechanism
The exclusionary mechanism is basically how most people organize their social world into in-groups and out-groups.
• “I have my friends, which means there are people who are NOT my friends.”
• “I have my family, which means there are people who are NOT my family.”
• “I have my colleagues, which means there are people who are NOT part of my company.”
• “I have my nation, which means there are people who are NOT part of my country.”
• “I have my religion, which means there are people who are NOT part of my belief system.”
This exclusionary mechanism leads to social patterns that are easy to observe in everyday life. Walk through a big city or observe a company workplace, and you’ll see that people constantly form small groups—groups of colleagues, cliques of friends, people who “click” based on shared values. This exclusion is constantly happening in the background.
For the longest time, I wasn’t aware of this exclusionary mechanism. But when I finally started to explicitly account for it, I was able to heal my trauma—because understanding this is the way to connect to other humans. Once I started to see how exclusion works, my emotions started to come back naturally—rather than the other way around, where people say you need to first “find” your emotions.
I would argue that trauma processing is more about understanding your environment—understanding its threats, and one of those threats is constant exclusion.
So that’s my take, and I’m open to any feedback.
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2025-01-24T12:22:40
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1i8u5nj
| 1 | 0 |
Alexithymia
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Does it sound like my partner with Alexithmia is trying to reconnect with me the only way he knows how?
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I have found so many people with Alexithmia voice how it feels to them in comments on threads and it has helped me so much to understand that it's almost the opposite of everything I thought it was. So I want to ask those same people what they see in my specific situation.
We are both mid 40's and I've been in 2 awful 7+ year relationships that I spent years alone and in therapy to heal from. (I was diagnosed with an abandonment disorder) He has been married at least 4 times but all of his major relationships (over 6)lasted more than a year but less then 3. We have been together almost 3 years and I had came from an entire of life if volatile and toxic. So to be with someone this long and have never had one argument made me feel very safe and happy.
And I only discovered Alexithmia after he came to me suddenly and said he warned me when he met me that he had the ability to stop his feelings for someone and he had been watching me for a while and he didn't think I cared and it frustrated him that I didn't listen to him. Now flash back, I do remember the warning about his feelings but we joke a lot and I didn't take it as a joke but I didn't think that was really possible to do so I didn't ask any questions about it either. And I also warned him I know zero% about healthy relationships other than knowing communication is key. I told him I had everything else in life figured out but I was very unsure about my knowledge of being in a healthy relationship. We both agreed we didn't like to fight and we wouldn't waste one more day of our lives fighting.
Ok so fast forward back to almost 3 years later. I am happier then I have ever been in my life and after being happy alone for so many years I'm seriously over the moon happy to share it with someone. I brag about him every chance I get and how wonderful it is to have finally found such a loving smart and strong man. He was never totally co-dependent but he wanted me with him every chance he could, and for the most part, I was ok with that. But now today I'm a complete mess because of that.
When he told me he had stopped his feelings for me, I lost my $#*\ for lack of a better explanation. I think I looked like my head was physically spinning around on my neck that day. Now we are two weeks post my mental breakdown and I assure you I did everything I shouldn't do in the first 5 days because I had never heard of Alexithmia and I thought I was dealing with some evil Houdini that Satan sent to take me out. So I made it worse. Waaaay worse...
But I don't know how to feel since he still couldn't give me a solid goodbye and he didn't move out. Infact him dealing with me in those first 5 days gave me an added respect for him. But I'm still not ok with all this. Just because he is here doesn't mean I don't still feel like I was his best friend and I went everywhere with him yet he dropped me off in the middle of nowhere like a bad dog. Then he comes by every day to feed and water me because he cares a little and he doesn't want to hurt me and he does want to be my friend and that's enough to make me think I get to be in his life again but nope he just drives off everyday and all I can do is wait for him to come back.
Now yes I immediately got myself a therapist and a journal and I know it's only been a week since I discovered Alexithmia and I shared that with him and at first his response was ok great you just found something wrong with me to make yourself feel better, whatever you need to do to feel better. But I kept my cool and I kind of expected that response. So I explained that unless you want to be labeled a completely heartless asshole then yeah I found something that's wrong in our relationship but not something that is wrong with you. I told him his feelings were valid and I wanted to help. I admitted my faults and that I should have been listening more so he knew I cared.
I did my research and I mean I pulled all nighters in the books reading what his love language had been and he validated my findings as correct. I also know I am a fearless dreamer where life's unlimited and no rules and he's very black and white and practical. So where do I go from here. He has repeatedly asked to not talk about feelings and I tried I really did but mine just got more and more hurt and so last night I explained that he can't just be some weird roomate who gets in my bed when I don't know where he is or what he's doing or when he is coming home. I am trying to find healthy boundaries for myself and him but this is a place I don't understand. He was very patient last night and he didn't disregard any of my feelings or emotions about feeling taken out like the trash, but he still can't give me anything beyond he just withdrew feelings because he was frustrated by me but he feels like I left him and called my family and made a big deal about it so therefore he told his friends and none of them asked why so he didn't have to answer that. I'm like ok but I was not actually leaving you, I was just fishing for what you were really feeling inside because nothing made sense to me and it turns out you really didn't know how you felt.
So here we are. And if you can sense the comedy in our personalities we both seem to take the worse tragedies and laugh about it. I made him laugh by asking if I won in the middle of crying episode about my unexplainable emotions, because our first bet was who could put up with who the longest. He said no one had ever been able to handle him and I said oh buddy challenge accepted because you have no idea.
His mom always told me she loved me because I challenged him and no one else ever had. But she feels awful now because she kind of seen a pattern and kind of knew this might happen but he had kind of stopped talking to everybody about the same time he started pulling away from me. Looking back I gather about 6 months ago is when I missed the first sign. So any advice for me? I need to see this from
his side to know what to do next.
I just want to help and wouldn't expect him to stay any longer in the home unless he is silently trying to make it work and if that's what you see he may be doing then how do I help him feel better about hanging out with me again. How do I or when do I try to touch him again? I can't just give him ultimatums if he has Alexithmia and I can't even push or ask how he feels right now. I don't want to cross his boundaries and make it worse and so I guess I need to ask what his boundaries are. But is that to much for me to ask of him as well? I asked for one hug last Friday night and he gave it to me but then it was akward because I'm to emotional. I still tell him I love him and have a good day and he replies you have a good day as well
😑 please save my sanity and help a caring but also emotionally challenged human out.
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2025-01-24T16:29:58
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1i8zerv
| 0 | 0 |
Alexithymia
|
Does alexithymia affect how the body reacts to certain things?
|
Ok so, for example, I'm basically completely immune to pills (medication). They do literally nothing.
This may sound like a stupid question, but does alexithymia likely have something to do with it?
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2025-01-24T02:53:06
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1i8ljf1
| 1 | 0 |
Alexithymia
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Not knowing you have depression?
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Hello, so my boyfriend keeps mentioning things that really sound like depression symptoms and overall he seems like he could have it. He is diagnosed with alexityhmia. He keeps saying he doesnt think he has depression, but also keeps reminding me he doesnt exactly know how he feels. So Im asking, is it possible to not realise you're depressed or have other mental struggles? Should I still consider going to a doctor or something with it, or is he very much likely telling the truth and should be able to realise he's depressed because that is a very strong feeling?
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2025-01-23T12:18:43
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1i82264
| 0 | 0 |
Alexithymia
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ADHD meds and Alexithymia
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Okay so I think I have Alexithymia and I have a question that very very few people can probably answer so I thought I'd try my luck here.
I was prescribed ADHD meds and I've been taking them for a while with increasing doses and haven't felt any effects. The problem is that when something changes with me I tend to just think that it's always been that way and forget what it was like before. I don't know if the meds aren't working on me or if they are and I just can't tell the difference because I never know how I feel. I really don't want to tell my doctor that the meds just don't work on me and give them up only to find out that they were working and I end up worse.
So if there are any people here with trouble understanding how they feel, ADHD, and that is taking ADHD meds. (Which I assume is a very small amount of people) Did you have trouble feeling the effects of your meds? Did you stop taking them and feel any different? I just need some help and very few people understand the level of difficulty I have understanding my own feelings.
Thank you for reading this even if you can't help :]
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2025-01-22T18:17:43
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1i7hse9
| 1 | 1 |
Alexithymia
|
Late in life homosexuality
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I have low level alexithymia. Mine is a childhood stress adaptation that I have been working on with some limited success for decades.
I am an elder millennial. I’ve just now reached the point that I can identify the difference between “attraction” and “tolerance.”
I’ve identified as bisexual all of my life because that seemed like the most non-committal umbrella term.
I’m finding that my feeling of “attraction” is entirely homosexual, despite the fact that I’ve had long term heterosexual relationships. Being in heterosexual relationships didn’t seem particularly stressful because I don’t experience sex repulsion. And much of my experience with “attraction” was always sensation-only motivated or paraphilia.
Now that I am to a place where I can identify authentic attraction and it seems pretty exclusively gay. And everything has gotten more complicated.
I’m wondering if anyone else here has experience with treatable alexithymia and discovering their homosexuality later in life as a result?
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2025-01-22T15:23:29
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1i7dj1z
| 1 | 0 |
Alexithymia
|
How do non-alexithymic people feel emotions?
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I feel them only physically, and it's hard to know exactly what emotions I'm feeling. When speaking of my feelings or emotions, I describe the physical sensations, since I prefer not to use labels that don't accurately describe my emotions.
How do others feel emotions? What does it mean to feel emotions in the mind?
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2025-01-21T18:51:18
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1i6q08i
| 0 | 0 |
Alexithymia
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Trying to describe how I feel by focusing on physical sensations
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When I recognize a feeling as fear, I label it as such. But frequently, I don't recognize it. I just feel physical sensations that are emotions.
I'm a writer, and I try to describe emotions in a way that focuses on the sensory, the feelings in the body that are emotions. For example:
John began to tremble slightly as he kept firm eye contact.
"You're going to be on campus tomorrow," his father had said. John firmly nodded, masking the depths of fear in his eyes.
John began to feel an icy cold wash over him as his father retreated to his room, feeling a need for a jacket. He remembered learning about the possibility that he didn't have to be on campus. His head had instantly been dizzy with relief. Now, however, the weight on his chest remained, the possibility of seeing her again looming as he realized that he will indeed be going on campus.
His hands had a slight tremor as the cold clawed at him. Even with the jacket, it was as if he had no break from this icy cold feeling.
...
I wrote that, it was my experience. Just happened last night. And no my name isn't John.
But I focused on the physical sensations that are supposed to be emotions.
This helped me
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2025-01-21T17:32:12
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1i6o1ku
| 0 | 0 |
Alexithymia
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Forgetfulness and going blank
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Hi there, I've been reading about alexithymia and I think I might have it. I also have PTSD and depression. My question is, does anyone feel their brain goes blank when talking about emotions? It always happens when I talk to my therapist. If she asks me how I feel about a situation, I feel so overwhelmed trying to figure out how I feel or pinpoint my emotions that I start to forget the question and then my brain goes blank. Does that happen to anyone? Why do you think that happens?
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2025-01-21T10:06:27
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1i6fdo7
| 1 | 0 |
Alexithymia
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How I experience things
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I am beginning to think I have Alexithymia from trying to explain my own internal dialogue and thought process with people I care about. I’ve realized it’s incredibly difficult for me to explain certain things about my emotions and process them the way I think I am supposed to. But I am confused because I have also always been an incredibly emotional person to the point I would run and hide as a child because I couldn’t hold bad crying but I would be forced to talk about it but I didn’t know how to explain what I was feeling or why and it caused me to be more distressed because the adults in my life seemed to think I was lying when I just did not know why I was upset or what I was feeling.
I don’t know if this explanation of processing resonates with anyone who has Alexithymia? I’m kind of trying to dissect things so I can talk to my therapist about it better. Therapy has also been difficult for me because it seems like a lot of confusing weird emotional things that I find difficult and annoying. Emdr and IFS especially frustrated me. They felt stupid and not based in logic but I also couldn’t say that because it hurts people’s feelings and they think I am mean and condescending if I say that.
When I am upset and have to discuss my feelings and thoughts it feels like the upset feeling is a bucket of sand and I have to sort each grain of sand by assigning them a color "emotion" (a guess) and put them into different buckets and then find a similar situation in the past that matches the current one to try to figure out what percent of each sand color I am supposed to use and scoop those different amounts into a bucket to then into glass (because people don’t like my buckets of sand for some reason) to give to someone via a verbal explanation. Otherwise I offend people or confuse them. It's absolutely exhausting and frustrating in a way people don’t seem to understand. And then I just have to sleep for many days after to recover.
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2025-01-20T15:37:37
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1i5swrt
| 1 | 0 |
Alexithymia
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Feeling just numbness
|
TW: talking about traumatic experiences and trauma bonding
A lot has happened. My former best friend left me, my sister's gone to college, and an adult classmate was inappropriate with me and I formed a trauma bond (I'm 16).
I couldn't even know that the feeling I felt around that adult was fear. I felt anxiety, but everything was so confusing.
We no longer have classes together.
I feel so numb about it all now.
I feel difficulty feeling everything. And I feel difficulty identifying what exactly I feel. I do better using metaphors than pinpointing exact feelings. I felt something intense for a few seconds and realized it was relief.
Cause chatgpt confirmed it was relief.
I'm doing calisthenics every day, I got a buzzcut, I'm doing okay. But God damn I'm numb. Idk what I'm feeling, I have a hard time feeling it.
I find peace in nature, where expectations don't exist.
|
2025-01-20T11:30:04
|
1i5o5zr
| 0 | 0 |
Alexithymia
|
Can i Be Good Actor with alexthymia
|
I feel and am affected by all the expressions, but I cannot show them on my face for the first time. If I go to acting lessons and develop my skills, can I be a good actor? Those close to me say that I am fit for the roles of psychopaths, villains, or charismatic characters based on my behavior and expression, and I searched for actors. Suffering from alexthymia Sir Anthony Hopkins appeared to me
|
2025-01-19T21:58:00
|
1i5abdy
| 0 | 0 |
Alexithymia
|
What type of occupation you have
|
I associate with alexithymia, at least partly. I am wondering what type of work identities you have, and is the work helping you or taking away?
I naturally like to help people so I have been managing projects where I can enable others to succeed. My own success has been usually limited. Now I am at a cross-road where I could change my career path - but what could it be...
|
2025-01-19T12:12:10
|
1i4x4uv
| 1 | 0 |
Alexithymia
|
What is sex to you?
|
I’ve never been sexually active, only a couple of times with guys i dated once or twice and a couple others on Grindr.
I never felt I was particularly different in the sex department from most people- unlike in the emotions front. I’ve masturbated since middle school and watched porn a couple of years later.
However, whenever I do have sex (not always penetration) I’ve had a hard time enjoying myself, liking what I was doing, feeling deep pleasure. My analytical mind is always on the “this is a good experience to practice this stuff” which makes me super conscious of what I’m doing and how the other person is reacting but not really feeling good myself.
I’ve never had a stable relationship where I could have repeated sex with one person -I don’t have relationships because I can’t seem to like anyone. I’ve had a few times where the other person felt more for me and I was just apathetic.
I am staring to think my auto diagnosed alexithymia has to do with all this.
|
2025-01-17T20:52:47
|
1i3qg23
| 1 | 0 |
Alexithymia
|
What is your gender identity?
|
I know this seems unrelated but as a queer person myself, I think there can be many connections with alexithymia.
I appreciate immensely anyone who'll respond.
If you identify as Queer: please choose whatever feels closest to you, I didn't know where to put it exactly (and I ran out of options).
I'm also aware some people can be Nonbinary Transmasc or Transfem for example, in which case please feel free to comment or tick Nonbinary (as this is more about identity).
Thank you!
[View Poll](https://www.reddit.com/poll/1i3oxcv)
|
2025-01-17T19:46:04
|
1i3oxcv
| 1 | 0 |
Alexithymia
|
My experiences so far
|
So I may or may not have Alexithymia, idk, I found out about it like a week ago. I’ve realized that it’s have a tough time identifying what’s going on in my mind, but that it *is* possible to get better at it. Here’s what I’ve learned:
Everyone experiences emotions differently. Just because grief makes my throat close up doesn’t mean that it does the same thing for you.
Mood circle is bullshit, mood meter is supreme, even if it doesn’t have everything. https://www.ps120q.org/mood-meter
There’s more than one way to describe an emotion. It’s 100% valid to describe it like “the feeling I get when ____ happens,” or “the urge to _____”
Part of emotional intelligence is mapping out which feeling matches up to what word
-
-
-
Stuff that probably just applies to me, but might help you too:
Gratitude is not an emotion, it’s the act of not just enjoying something, but also appreciating the fact that you’re enjoying it
Whenever someone asks me how I’m doing, I actually do a check in and see how I’m doing
I feel multiple emotions in my chest. Sadness, cuteness, rage/injustice, all in my chest
|
2025-01-17T04:06:26
|
1i37zwb
| 1 | 0 |
Alexithymia
|
Out of curiosity do others listen for “feeling” in songs?
|
Like I think for the most part I only listen to songs where emotions are screamed into my ear. Was wondering if that’s common. Like I don’t feel my emotions so I channel it through songs. It wired to describe like someone correctly telling u what general feeling to have. It can’t be subtle it has to have the soul in it
|
2025-01-16T03:07:44
|
1i2ffqy
| 1 | 0 |
Alexithymia
|
How to help a friend with alexithymia
|
My friend, who has been depressed their whole life really, has agreed to come stay with me and my parents for about 3 months. I've known them very closely online for about 3 years, and had met them irl before they moved in. I offered them to stay with us because I thought that being in a different environment would help with the depression, and that they might be more open with me. I really care about them and I wanted this to be an opportunity for them to be part of our family for a moment, at least.
It has not been going well. It was alright at the beginning but they seem to have become withdrawn, bored, frustrated even. They often won't eat if I don't say, hey, I'm eating, come eat with me. And they don't have any want to do anything. I've been quite busy in the last week finishing up my grad school applications, and during that time they haven't really seemed to do anything with their time. I mean, I know they're on their computer but when I ask, hey what did you do today? They answer with, nothing. And don't elaborate if questioned further. I know it's frustrating for them but I wish we could be more open with each other. I'm really worried about what they'll be going through once classes start, because I don't want them to have come here and to somehow feel even more isolated.
Another thing is they don't always express issues until after they happen, or don't ask about things they're unclear about or have misunderstandings over. I've asked them to express these things to me more but they don't really see it as an issue.
I've been trying to talk to them about how they're feeling and I understand that alexithymia gets in the way. This whole thing has been really stressful for me and today I basically sat down and cried in front of them for an hour. I know it's hard for them to find answers for these things, But I feel like there must be some way for us to come towards better communication.
Is there anything that anyone has found helpful in their relationships? Anything that people have found as a way to better express themselves? I really want to suggest some system to them but I can't know what will work for them, or how they feel about the situation, because they aren't able to speak about it.
I care very deeply for my friend and I don't want their stay here to end in resentment. I'm trying really hard to manage my own anger and frustration so I can help them, and so they can be comfortable while they're living here. I really just don't know what to do.
Edit for details: we are both autistic, depressed, and have been suicidal in the past.
TL;DR: friend with alexithymia living with me, and I am trying to communicate with them better. Any advice welcome.
|
2025-01-15T01:34:10
|
1i1mb68
| 1 | 0 |
Alexithymia
|
Only feel disregulation is this right?
|
I don’t think I’ve ever felt happy, love, cuteness or joy. I always felt like there was something missing in me. Like some pathway is cut or just missing.
Although since I’ve had my daughter when I see her I feel love, cuteness and joy.
She’s the only one that makes me feel warm inside.
I know my husband is love of my life but I haven’t felt that “love” it’s complicated to explain.
If I succeed or win at something I just feel, nothing. Just more like ok cool that’s done what’s my next step.
Sort of feeling?
Or getting gifts tbh just makes me feel more anxious than anything.
Only feeling I can recognise is when I’m feeling uncomfortable and disregulated. Those feelings are very easy to tell.
Recently we made a huge transition in our life. We relocated back to our home country after being in Europe for 8 years. We didn’t enjoy Europe so I was glad to come back. My husband has been expressing his joy ever since we got back. I agreed but inside I feel, nothing. I am definitely “happy” we are back though!
I’ve been diagnosed with autism spectrum.
I mask well and function very well I just always felt different.
It’s sort of like the situation that should make you feel joyous and happy I can recognise I just don’t feel them inside.
Is this Alexithymia?
|
2025-01-13T11:02:14
|
1i0bjjf
| 1 | 0 |
Alexithymia
|
Does anyone else have this problem?
|
For context, i mask emotions that i collect based on other people's way of reacting and use them in appropriate places but i don't actually know if i feel them (like it's empty in my head half the time).
I will randomly switch between 'emotions' (more like expressions but i dunno) when im alone, like the most common one is like tugging my hair back with my hands on my head and shaking my head with like a whispered scream(like your mouth is open like how you would scream but it's like under your breath if you know what i mean). I just label this as tweaking out- no harm is done whatsoever. i grin and go 'haha' and just switch right back to like nothing. but i don't actually feel anything during that process. i don't know what im doing either tbh ,\_\_\_, I am so sorry if you find this cringe lmao (i do too).
But yea, does anyone else does anything similar or knows what's going on lol?
|
2025-01-11T15:57:58
|
1hyyvu3
| 0 | 0 |
Alexithymia
|
Decision Fatigue
|
I've been recently diagnosed with autism and learning so much about me and the struggles I've had all my life. I suspect I have Alexithymia as well and was just wondering if decision fatigue with smaller everyday decisions would be considered part of it?
I have lots of art and crafting projects that i always look forward to continue working on when I have time, but then I really struggle to find out what exactly I want to work on. I love all of the projects and would really like to work on all of them simultaneously, but there is nothing inside me that pushes me to prefer one of them over the other.
Sometimes it works with making an appointment for myself in advance ("3pm painting for 3 hours") but most of the time I just freeze and feel overwhelmed by the possibilities and end up doing nothing.
Can you relate to that or experience similar fatigue? How do you deal with that? Is this a muscle you can exercise or do I just have to accept the fact that this is gonna be hard forever?
|
2025-01-11T12:37:37
|
1hyv0at
| 1 | 0 |
Alexithymia
|
This can’t be right can it??
|
So I’m having this issue, I don’t know if I would call an issue though more of a problem or a query, I just don’t know how to put it but I’ve been bursting out into periodic laughs and it’s always in a tub burst or a three burst of like loud laughs, and I know I’ve been taking my medication and it’s never happened before while being on my medication so I was just wondering if this is something I should be concerned about or talk to my doctor about.
For contacts, I would be doing literally anything reading to drawing to playing games and I just burst into laughing and then it would stop like nothing happened. I don’t get it.
Update: so I went to my doctors last week and he’s recommended me to get schizophrenic meds and they seem to be working. I just didn’t expect the diagnosis to me schizophrenia. I asked my mom about it and she did say it runs in the family. I don’t know if it’s something that gets passed down but yeah.
|
2025-01-10T18:19:04
|
1hyayou
| 0 | 0 |
Alexithymia
|
Interception
|
I was watching a video and the term Interception was briefly spoken about. In googling it I found that there is a lot in relation to Autism but I found nothing about Alexithymia outright. Now I understand that Alexithymia is a common trait amongst autism, and I do have this, but it's not limited to. The definition of Interception is basically the same thing as Alexithymia. But with Alexithymia, we tend to refer to our lack of understanding emotions more than anything else. But related to it is the lack of noticing some bodily functions. I do absolutely have trouble in that area too, especially hunger and having to use the bathroom before I have to go like immediately.
I just found this fascinating and thought I'd share. Are we just simplifying a much larger thing going on here? Anyone have any thoughts or more to add to this? I'd love to discuss.
|
2025-01-09T04:07:26
|
1hx4dej
| 1 | 0 |
Alexithymia
|
I feel broken
|
I apologize for coming here to rant, especially the same day I join this community. I would write to myself in notes or in some stupid journal that I'll forget about in a day or two but I thought that here may be a good place. People like me, different from me, or nothing like me, to see this. I don't need words of affirmation, I just need to be seen.
I can only express the way I "feel" -- if I can even say that properly given the issue of struggling to identify or even process emotions and even worse, speak them vocally. Writing is the only outlet for me to have some sense of emotions. Writing or being around an emotional person so it can kick my empathy in so I can "feel" what they're feeling. But any time I do that, I feel wrong? Like my head wants to explode or my stomach twists and I want to vomit out of guilt? Perhaps? Because I can't understand feelings in my own perspective and I feel like a cold porcelain doll. Embedded with beauty for the eye to see and enjoy yet cold, hollow and chipped on the inside. Or like spilt ink on an unfinished canvas with a sketch on it. I don't know.
I've had long periods of self-apathy before but even outside of thise moments where I can show some interest of emotion, I have no way of putting it into proper words or understanding. I can express emotion where it needs to be. If a friend tells a joke, I'll smile and laugh as if I enjoy it. I do. But I that enjoyment feels dull like faded colors that are there for a few moments before going back to gray. Everything that happens, I feel broken. I feel lost. Like I'm not meant for people because most people want a person who can express themselves properly. To be able to sing their emotions and go through those waves. I can't. Not in the way they can.
The only thing I can feel right now is fear. It's one of the few things I can recognize and put a name to it. A label I hate having to touch but one I'm forced to be stuck with for the time being. I hate it. I've begged out of dull desperation to feel anything and when I get my wish, it's fear and it's drowning me. I'm afraid of feeling when I can't even process it yet I yearn to understand emotions and be able to speak them properly.
I feel broken. Yet, I don't feel. It's cruel and I just want to understand things that others can.
|
2025-01-07T06:05:09
|
1hvkzqa
| 0 | 0 |
Alexithymia
|
Do any of you have people pleasing tendencies?
|
I never thought of myself as such but I think I may have it because I have a hard time with connecting my emotions. Sometimes during conflict I’m unsure of what route to go, I’m not good at expressing myself and either lash out in a panic or shut down. And this affects my memory of the situation. I think when I’m calm I can do talk more clearly and go from their but generally I just avoid conflict because I’m not good at deciphering how I feel or wether or not I’m in the wrong. Most of the time I can see if whether or not it’s a miscommunication but i just struggle to communicate that. It’s the second guessing that gets me.
|
2025-01-06T20:07:44
|
1hv8elu
| 0 | 0 |
Alexithymia
|
I think I have it, except there are two signs of this disorder I don’t have. Alexithymia or one of my diagnosed conditions?
|
22 year old female. I live in the USA where it’s not an official diagnosis, but I have been diagnosed with autism, ADHD, a mild intellectual development disorder, and many mental health issues (but alexithymia isn’t one of them that are diagnosed, they include OCD, anxiety, depression, and schizophrenia) struggled my whole life with this issue. I felt emotions, in fact in a strong way and I have strong emotional empathy, but I ended up having more unpredictable autism meltdowns, because I can’t tell how I’m feeling, until it’s too late, even those times when I can pick up on an emotion of mine, I can’t distinguish some two emotions from each other, such as frustration and anxiety, anger and shock, sadness and tiredness and sometimes a scrambled combination (such as sad vs overwhelmed, anger vs frustration, or so on) I also have trouble distinguishing between emotions of others (when I think my mom’s mad she’s just shocked, frustrated or overwhelmed, for instance), I’d be able to communicate how I feel if I understood. I can’t even rely on physical sensations because I struggle with interception so much! Help!
|
2025-01-06T21:24:41
|
1hvabue
| 1 | 1 |
Alexithymia
|
My grandpa died and I felt little.
|
So I watched my grandpa die.
I observed as my family was in tears. I was not. I felt like I had to feel something so I tried to feel what they were feeling. I did want to comfort them though.
My brother was begging god to save my Grandpa's life but I knew he was already gone.
I just accepted he died and moved on instantly. I was almost happy. If there's an afterlife then he has heaven. If there is no afterlife then he lived a good life with his family there for him.
I accept death as a natural part of life. One day it will be my turn.
|
2025-01-06T08:15:42
|
1huuayv
| 0 | 0 |
Alexithymia
|
I can't connect with anyone
|
I'm not sure how else to say it.
I just have this emptiness and well the fact that I can't feel anything. It makes it hard to connect with people.
I want friends and such. But when I try, it just doesn't work. I just can't connect with people. Which feels very isolating.
Side note, I am Autistic. So that adds another difficulty with the social stuff. Although I think I personally do pretty well. So I don't know what I'm doing wrong.
I just don't know what to do anymore.
|
2025-01-05T08:01:41
|
1hu19qy
| 1 | 0 |
Alexithymia
|
Looking for resources that describe physical sensations in certain parts of the body when feeling emotions
|
I've been going through something lately and whenever I think about it, I have this physical sensation in my stomach. While I don't know exactly what the emotion is, I also don't know how to describe the physical sensation either. I was hoping maybe I could find some inventory of "physical feelings in the stomach" and get a list of descriptions, and choose which one matches my current state. I'm the type to read something and then go "oh this is exactly what I felt in my stomach that time". I couldn't find any lists like this online, so if anyone could point me to one, that would be great. Thanks!
|
2025-01-05T05:42:19
|
1htyuka
| 0 | 0 |
Alexithymia
|
Success once I stopped using "techniques" to become aware of emotions
|
I'm an avoidant person who has always tried to rely on intellect/logic/rationality to make decisions. This has always caused me to be an overthinker and I always intellectualized my feelings. Those prone to intellectualization like myself are often the type to search for answers to why they are the way they are. This is how I came to learn about alexithymia.
I eventually figured out that what I need to do is "feel my feelings" and I've posted here before about how I simply don't understand what that means and how using feeling wheels to name emotions simply doesn't work for me. I would always look for techniques/meditations/methods to accomplish this, but those would just compound the problem because I would "try" it, not experience the intended result, then get frustrated that it's not working, only furthering my state of distress.
In the past 2 weeks I've actually started to have some success once I was able to accept that I don't NEED to improve or change. To "feel your feelings", really all I needed to do was allow myself to experience what I'm experiencing. I've always unconsciously suppressed/ignored my feelings so the goal is to slowly let go of the suppressing. Theres no need to get frustrated if it doesn't work. The emotions and sensations of the body will come by themselves, as long as I stop pushing them away.
So how do you stop pushing away your emotions? It seems for me that feeling safe was the key. If I don't feel safe when emotions come, I will suppress them. So what I was trying to do was recognize that when a small emotion happens, I can still be safe when I don't suppress it. I'm still working on it but I already feel like I'm capable of taking on slight bigger emotions instead of super tiny ones, without getting overwhelmed.
EDIT: I forgot to mention that the first thing I focused on was fixing my sleep. Sleep is fundamental and a lack of a proper sleep schedule effects EVERY aspect of your life. This alone probably had a bigger impact then I expected.
|
2025-01-04T21:09:06
|
1htoh8e
| 1 | 0 |
Alexithymia
|
I feel kind of bad about, like, basically making negative emotions up to fit in when I actually feel OK.
|
Like before a test and everyone talks about how anxious they are? I'm not, but I still go "Oh yeah I'm gonna be losing sleep tonight over this" or something like that. In fact I don't think I've never felt truly nervous (at least to the degree of having psychosomatic issues) before tests; I like them. And like people are asking me if I miss my parents or struggled to adjust when I moved into my dorms and... no? Not really. But I kind of nod because it would feel weird to say that I'm totally cool w/ moving away all of a sudden, right?
I dunno, it just makes me feel like a bad person.
|
2025-01-03T04:37:20
|
1hse9jx
| 0 | 0 |
Alexithymia
|
Can’t tell when I have romantic feelings
|
Sometimes when I’m around a friend I will feel super excited and happy, and sometimes will question if I have deeper romantic feelings about them when I am with them, however as soon as we disconnect, leave, or stop talking all of my feelings go away, and I feel nothing. And other times I just feel nothing. It’s hard for me to try and be in a relationship when I never really feel that excitement about them when we stop talking. Is this Alexithymia related, or something else going on? And have you guys ever had the same issue as well?
|
2025-01-02T05:38:20
|
1hrmryj
| 1 | 0 |
Alexithymia
|
Does anyone feel happy?
|
How do I feel happy about things? What is happiness? Is a desired outcome happiness? Is it the little things? This is very perplexing to me as I try to navigate what makes me happy. Everything seems so mundane. I often have to tell myself I had a good time when really everything was just okay. Like what even is fun??? How do you have fun?? I can only remember a very small amount of times where I had fun and they were very far and few in between. Like I thought before this was anhedonia but idk. This has made me very depressed for years, I decided to stop dwelling on it and it got better but my feelings have remained the same. I don’t even know how to inspire fun or what would be good to do. I often watch shows in my free time because I enjoy them but don’t necessarily think it’s a “fun” time.
|
2025-01-02T02:29:37
|
1hrjdbg
| 0 | 0 |
Alexithymia
|
Cried without feeling anything emotionally
|
I’m sharing this as an observation, maybe someone has experienced something similar.
For about a year now, I’ve been seeing a psychologist. During our sessions, they mentioned my alexithymia, and there’s also a possible suspicion of autism. Knowing about these traits has actually made it a little easier for me to feel things. For example, I’ve noticed that I can sometimes even tear up a bit while playing certain games now.
But something really interesting happened recently. I didn’t celebrate New Year’s, Idon’t have anyone to celebrate it with. I think I felt sad about it in the evening (though it’s hard to say how much since I was intellectualizing the whole situation). I went to bed before midnight, wearing earplugs to block out the noise.
When I woke up, I felt fine at first. But later, I noticed I had a runny nose. Then, when I got up, I realized I had been crying. I don’t know how long I had been crying, I didn’t notice the tears or even feel bad. It just felt like another day to me.
This observation is fascinating to me because it’s something I’ve never experienced before. Am I really processing these emotions that deeply without realizing it?
|
2025-01-01T20:16:02
|
1hrbez0
| 1 | 0 |
Alexithymia
|
I need advice for facial expressions
|
So, I really like to dance, I've been dancing for a few years now but the feedback I always receive is "you lack facial expressions" and they always tell me to to connect and feel the music, yeah, that's the problem, obviously. I understand in theory but I can't put into practice. I only know "smiling", "not smiling" face lol
I already did acting classes and I really enjoyed but I received the same feedback and also I may have a monotone voice 🙄 every class I thought I was doing a decent job with it but apparently not.
Any advices, please?
|
2024-12-31T12:58:53
|
1hqe6x8
| 0 | 0 |
Alexithymia
|
Anyone else think this is a way to describe it.
|
I recently self diagnosed myself with alexithymia and tried to explain to my friends/family. My analogy is the following. Imagine foods (flavors and textures) are emotions. When you eat you get full and you can taste/feel the foods. Where as I can only taste extreme flavors (salt, sugar, sour and spice) in that a normal (everyday) experience to me is bland or flavorless. I don’t know if I am hungry, full or content. I just know that I eat but can’t describe the flavors. Another analogy I thought of was being colorblind and going to an art show. I can make out the lines but can’t tell you the colors. I look at others for their reactions and mimic if I feel it suites me the situation. When I shared with my mom this is how my life is, she broke down and felt sorry for me. I thanked her, but said I kinda don’t know what I am missing. I do feel like I got shorted in life by this, but oh well.
|
2024-12-30T23:23:18
|
1hq0mqi
| 1 | 0 |
Alexithymia
|
Crying
|
Something I have noticed at Therapy and sometimes before I Fall Asleep is that I sometimes start to cry silently without Even feeling something and I have to think about why I started crying. It is different from cyring for no reason because than I would Feel sad without reason but at this occasions I don’t Feel Anything it is Strange but I know it is Not physical Problems with eyes because sometimes I can pinpoint it later and get Access to my feelings. Do any of you experience that too ?
|
2024-12-29T13:20:41
|
1hovvvv
| 1 | 0 |
Alexithymia
|
Any advice for breaking through behavioral roadblocks?
|
I've been learning to pay attention to my behaviors to tell me more of what I'm feeling. I've been able to tell a lot more when I'm stressed since it'll affect my actions and behaviors more than just noticing it directly. So this way I'm able to do something about some of these things.
One thing I've always struggled with is performing basic tasks, cleaning up, not procrastinating. Often I have like a mental roadblock for stuff like that but I've noticed a few times when the roadblock just fell away. There was a time when I was waiting or something financial to come through, and the moment it came through I just started cleaning the house, like it was nothing. More recently a similar thing happened to me where I'd misplaced my wallet in my house. I finally got some free time to start looking for it and actually found it right away, but again I was suddenly able to do the kinds of tasks I normally find so difficult to start. I'm wondering if I can use this insight at all to break whatever normally makes it hard for me to do simple but annoying tasks. It'd be wonderful if I could.
|
2024-12-29T20:54:43
|
1hp5kmx
| 0 | 1 |
Alexithymia
|
Do your emotions sometimes feel like physical objects?
|
Sometimes my emotions feel like very specific objects or abstract concepts. One example is specifically the feeling of a dart being stuck in a dartboard.
Also sensations like sharp or squishy. Other things too like melting or twisting. Sometimes shapes as well, often cubes or blobs. Any characteristics an object might have really.
Lately my partner has been encouraging me to describe my emotions and express them as best I can. The regular checks and being given time and attention while I consider how I actually feel has been helpful for me to grasp myself better but I often find myself going to physical concepts and objects to describe how I feel.
In a way I feel like I’m using other senses to compare to my emotions since I understand sound and touch better but also it’s not just a way of describing them I genuinely feel hot cubes of twisted agony appear when I miss someone. To the extent that I know the size and quantity of the cubes.
It struck me as odd so I wanted to dig a little and find out why I might feel like this. I am also autistic which might link to having such strong seemingly arbitrary associations to sensory things (ie sharp is a ‘good’ sensory and coat fabric is hellish)
|
2024-12-28T10:19:15
|
1ho2xs1
| 0 | 1 |
Alexithymia
|
Alexithymia and opinion expression
|
I’m curious to what extent alexithymia can stem from a lack of opinion expression. A need for opinion expression is from what I’ve observed prevalent in neurodiverse people, and because we tend to have different, divergent thinking styles and ways of being, I’m wondering to what extent alexithymia might partly be due to a lack of opinion expression.
I’ve come across tendencies in many neurodiverse people to be quite libertarian in their mindset—valuing the autonomy of the individual and preserving freedom of thought and expression, so long as it doesn’t call for harm or violence. Because we often hold unconventional opinions, these can be shut down or remain unexpressed, which I think can be very detrimental to us.
For example, I’ve noticed in myself that I’m highly opinionated on so many topics—almost every topic, in fact. Yet, when I observe most people, they don’t seem to express their opinions much, or they say something superficial or minimal about a subject. This makes me wonder if we need to consciously try to pull out our own opinions more often about events, people, situations, approaches, policies, and how things are or should be handled. By asking ourselves repeatedly, “What is my true opinion?” we can ensure we’re not masking or disconnecting from our authentic selves.
It seems to me that expressing opinions could play a part in addressing alexithymia. Sharing what you think and feel about something is a way of getting in touch with your emotions. While it’s unlikely to account for all aspects of alexithymia, it seems possible that habitual suppression of opinions could exacerbate the condition. I’d be curious to hear what you think about this idea.
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2024-12-28T15:18:21
|
1ho7p5f
| 1 | 0 |
Alexithymia
|
AlexiLearn: a new free app for alexithymia
|
I have developed [AlexiLearn](https://alexilearn.github.io/), a free Android app that aims to **improve emotional awareness** for yourself and others. I would *love* to hear your **feedback** and **ideas** on our [app's store page](https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.app.alexilearnapp) or on [Discord](https://discord.com/invite/BCqxF9RWCu)! AlexiLearn includes a variety of features designed for alexithymia, including:
1. A personal **AI assistant** to discuss events, sensations, and emotions
2. **Practice emotional conversations** with feedback
3. Lessons, descriptions, and practices
4. **Facial expression** detection with your camera
5. Daily emotional reflection
6. Body **sensation mapping**
*(And more)*
**\*Note:** While the emotional assistant is based on aspects of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and psychodynamic therapy, it is *not* a substitute for professional psychological advice.
[AlexiLearn video](https://reddit.com/link/1hog02m/video/594823rsqn9e1/player)
|
2024-12-28T21:38:07
|
1hog02m
| 1 | 0 |
Alexithymia
|
Alexithymia and physical comfort.
|
This might sound a bit unusual but does anyone else here have issues/unusual habits with physical comfort? I am continually told that all my furniture is super uncomfortable but I have never found it so. I can be in situations and areas (sat on a hard wooden bench or stone wall for example) for hours without feeling uncomfortable while others get uncomfortable in a few minutes. It seems that my sense of what is "comfortable" or not is really out of sync with other people's.
|
2024-12-27T19:57:20
|
1hnnefy
| 1 | 0 |
Alexithymia
|
I Can't Connect With People or Feel Emotions. Am I Sick?
|
I feel like I can’t connect with people or feel emotions toward them. Honestly, it feels like I can’t feel emotions at all.
For example, I recently went out to lunch with friends, some of whom I hadn’t seen in months. Normally, someone might feel excited or happy to see them. Me? Nothing. No excitement, no joy, no sadness—just nothing. It’s like I’m a robot. I can’t show appreciation, can’t feel empathy, and I can’t connect with friends.
During the entire lunch, I was dull. Nothing came to my mind. I just sat there, neutral 😐. No matter what anyone said, I felt nothing. Even when I spoke, it felt forced and insincere because there were no emotions behind it.
I feel like I could cut anyone out of my life without feeling a thing—no sadness, no guilt, nothing.
The only time I feel any kind of different emotion is before or after a gym session. I guess it’s because of the endorphins from working out. That’s the only time I feel “good.” Other than that, when I’m around people, it’s like I’m just a spectator in life. Life happens to others, not me.
The only other time I feel alive and present is when I’m high.
I don’t even have negative thoughts anymore (I used to struggle with self-hate and sadness). Now, it’s just pure neutral nothingness.
This lack of emotions is preventing me from connecting with people, and I feel like I can’t even try to start a relationship.
Am I sick? Is this some kind of condition?
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2024-12-27T17:47:46
|
1hnkffr
| 0 | 0 |
Alexithymia
|
I ruled out alexithymia a few years ago, but I'm not sure anymore.
|
I'm really not sure where I'm going with this posi, but I will be grateful for any comment of any kind, even if you don'tread the whole thing! I guess I'm just confused.
I'm in my mid 20s now and I think I kinda do feel emotions. At least more than before. I remember being surprised once at around 18yo when I laughed while alone, looking at my phone, cause I thought my laughters were always performative. It has happened more often since then. Sometimes I even have to hold back the tears while watching (heartwarming?) commercials. I do usually feel less intensely than everyone else (I think), but I can feel some low energy "bad" emotions and name them. I'm sure I feel low energy positive emotions too, I just don't notice it or don't remember it afterwards. The emotions I feel the most though are related to shame and guilt.
I remember feeling like a robot when I was in elementary school. I didn't feel as much as everyone around me and my mother did call me cold a few times (I mean I did blatantly tell her I didn't like her eyes and I even told my aunt that I didn't like my mom... I do feel bad for her now, but I really don't think I feel love for her even though she was objectively a good mother)
I think I kinda forced myself to feel empathy (if it's possible... if not, it developed later by itself) because I knew I was supposed to. And that's probably how the shame started too. I faked it I made it I guess. Now I actually like to make others happy, like by anonymously giving them things. I was sure people were lying when they said they felt happy for other people or that they cared at all, to be honest. I really try to force myself to care for others and even though it's not natural and I end up feeling bad for everything cause it's never enough, I think I am a genuinely kinder person now than in the past.
I identify as aroace, but now I think that might just be alexithymia... or maybe the shame I feel just keeps me from takong risks and I suppress my emotions as a result... who knows.
I guess I'm afraid of saying I have alexithymia if I don't actually have it to avoid invalidating people, but I've been trying to validate myself for more than a decade now and nothing really makes sense, so I'm hoping that might be part of the answer. And because I do feel and identify my feelings way more than in my childhood, I guess it might not be it after all... I don't know...
|
2024-12-27T05:56:37
|
1hn8cwh
| 1 | 0 |
Alexithymia
|
Do you often write something but delete it before posting?
|
Cant count the amount of times I wanted to post something and deleting it because it always gives me that "its not what im feeling/thats not what I want" etc feelings? Im just confused all the time
|
2024-12-26T17:23:46
|
1hmt40c
| 0 | 0 |
Alexithymia
|
Affection and sensory issues
|
So my boyfriend has been diagnosed with alexithyemia in April before that he use to be so touchy and didn’t mind being touched but since his diagnosis his whole demeanor has changed he doesn’t even hug me anymore or touch me and when ever I touch him with my knee or something he says his sensory issues are bad but it wasn’t like this before I’m trying to be understanding but I can’t help but feel some type of way when it never used to be like that I could just use some insight and kind words I feel like I’m grieving someone who is still alive
|
2024-12-26T05:55:04
|
1hmi5ls
| 0 | 0 |
Alexithymia
|
Being pissed off
|
Do you think people with alexithymia are less likely to be pissed off by other peoples ?
I think i might have alexithymia and i realise that a lot of things that seem to be completly pushing out of their limits people doesn't really affect me . Like if someone is being impolite with me , if something's falling on the floor , if i hurt myself ,if i missed my bus, if someone is screaming at me, ect... All the small little things that make peoples angry .
I think that as big emotion are the only time where im aware of feeling emotions, when there's little annoying everyday life things , i don't feel it annoying , like i can't be pissed off by the fact that something just pissed me off and so i just go on with my day like it was nothing . Even if its something that i actually don't like when it happens it doesn't feel like it really matter , like i paradoxically stay calm as it was nothing .
I guess it depends on the actual things , and maybe im just not really attached or paying that much attention to my enviorment . So i was just wondering if some of you were relating to this .
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2024-12-25T01:39:28
|
1hlr7om
| 1 | 1 |
Alexithymia
|
Am I the only one who can’t seem to form my own opinion?
|
I’m a 17 year old boy who is diagnosed with autism, I’ve spoken with a therapist and we both agreed that I probably also have alexithymia.
Her comes my question does anyone else feel like they’re unable to create their own opinion on things? Like if someone ask what my opinion is about a topic I litterally don’t have an opinion on the matter. So most of the time I just end up “stealing” other people’s opinion on the matter. I usually take the opinion of people who the most people agree with, so I also get the same positive affirmation that the other person did about their opinion
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2024-12-23T11:32:36
|
1hklvxy
| 1 | 0 |
Alexithymia
|
Simultaneously feeling ‘feelings’ that conflict?
|
Hi all,
No official alexithymia diagnosis but late diagnosed ADHD with autistic traits.
Context: I do feel stuff, my trouble is more in identifying what I’m feeling and the imbalances between negative emotions and positive emotions.
My (32F) best friend (30F) has recently got into a relationship with a man.
I am so so happy for her. It’s something that she wants and she is not one to settle for the first person so I know that she’s going to have made a good decision.
My dilemma is this is new territory for me. Not sure if it is RSD, some level of trauma or something else, but I feel nervous or anxious about who she will be now.
We live hours apart so only catch up a few times a year so this is the first time I’ll be seeing her. But I have noticed changes in her communication frequency etc. Which is totally okay and to be expected.
However this has left me a little lost as she is one of my few friends and now I don’t know how to simultaneously feel happy that she is happy and sort of lost as to where I fit. I’m afraid to say I feel jealous because it could be jealousy but I’ve never been in a relationship to know what that feels like.
My therapist said I can feel two things at once and both those feelings be true.
I am just a little nervous about what this is meant to feel like vs what my emotional limitations are telling me I feel.
|
2024-12-22T19:37:56
|
1hk5wfq
| 1 | 1 |
Alexithymia
|
I'm questioning if i possibly have Alexithymia
|
I don't know what I feel like most of the time and it often just feels empty. Some of the few emotions I can identify are embarrassment, jealousy, anger and dread(I guess scared in a way?). But the thing that's making me doubt is that my facial expressions are actually fine and I unconsciously react with a facial feature like smiling, I also realised in recent months I also laugh without actually feeling like anything. I feel like my humour is based off of other's around me, like I could be shown a funny video and I'll laugh infront of them, but at the same time I can just switch it off and not laugh at all. I also don't understand love, well like how it feels. like I've had 'crushes', I've imagined having a partner and it's nice (I'm also wondering whether or not I just crave affectionate company). I classify people as my crush when I start wanting to be close with them, like I want to spend more time around them and crave physical contact from them (could also just be touch starved though tbh). I was forced to supress sadness with physical discipline and forced to display happiness so i thought maybe that could be a possible reason (?
Honestly everything I'm saying sounds awkward n cringe to me but I just wanna know whether or not my feelings are valid and could possibly classify into Alexithymia. thanks :D
|
2024-12-22T19:00:37
|
1hk53ws
| 1 | 0 |
Alexithymia
|
Took mdma for 2nd time today
|
It has been one of the best nights ever in my life
I’ll do a breakdown the euphoria I experienced :
come up : I became a bit anxious bcoz seeing my gf nearly fall asleep multiple times and mention the dose was too strong made me think she was going to pass out. Started uncontrollably shaking and feeling cold . My gf then comes out of her come up and attempts to re assure me
Then I kiss her and then the euphoria hits me . I start feeling intensely warm and good inside . My body temperature raises . It suddenly feels 10000x better to touch and kiss my girlfriend . I think this is what’s known as the ‘increased sensory perception ‘ on mdma (I still struggle to describe my feelings on mdma ) we ended up kissing and tounging so much it felt so fucking good . Also touching her body and even my own felt amazing . I remember getting up from the bed and squeezing my own boobs , my own skin felt so soft and squishy .
I also became insanely horny . I kept begging my gf to fuck me with the strap on … I was also very wet . Like the 8 inch dildo went inside me even without warming up
I would ride her whilst talking about stuff I worry about whilst sober . For example her mum not liking me and our future together , etc . It felt really fucking good and intimate like my gf was really inside me even tho she doesn’t possess a real penis .
It also felt really nice staring into her eyes for periods of time …
Overall I felt so happy … I thought feeling emotions like this was impossible . I struggle a lot with high Neuroticism and feeling negative emotions only but. Tonight blew my mind .
I also licked my gfs armpit which she said made her feel really good which was awesome .
Overall 10/10 day
|
2024-12-22T03:20:32
|
1hjq3hq
| 0 | 0 |
Alexithymia
|
Can you feel alexithymia? What kind do you have (innate, acquired)?
|
I can sometimes feel this wooden or metal rod where my emotions should be, like this block. I think I have a combination of innate (neurodivergence related) and acquired alexithymia, and I suspect the acquired impacts and awareness of my lack of emotional responses intensified the innate experience. Do you have a similar experience? A different experience?
|
2024-12-21T20:45:50
|
1hjirj8
| 1 | 0 |
Alexithymia
|
What is love?
|
Baby don't hurt me.
I've been wondering what love is and why is it so confusing. I genuinely don't know when I love something. I feel joy towards things, is that love? Otherwise wtf is love? It's the fact that love is such a big deal in this world and in religion that really makes me think, is there something I'm missing out on? I don't even mean in relationships I mean in general. What's the difference between love and joy? I don't get it
|
2024-12-20T09:49:10
|
1higg1r
| 0 | 0 |
Alexithymia
|
How can you picture your future?
|
I have alexithymia. And I'm trying to work out my feelings about the future. I just don't know what I want, I don't know what would make me happy.
I think I'm unhappy with my job right now and my girlfriend might move to another country. I should probably change jobs but I'm not sure. I don't know what job I want to do, I don't know whether I want to be with my girlfriend forever, I don't know what country I want to live in.
How am I to know what would make me happy?
I think I maybe should probably change jobs but how would I know if I'm happier somewhere else? My girlfriend wants to know what I want in my future because she wants to start planning hers. But, how do I begin to figure that out when, if I think about things I could possibly want to do in my future and that includes marrying her, I just kinda feel dull.
I'd appreciate any advice.
|
2024-12-20T00:52:32
|
1hi7xaq
| 1 | 0 |
Alexithymia
|
i want to understand 💔
|
This guy I've been talking to for a while now has alexithymia (as well as diagnosed with high-functioning autism and depression) but I didn't realize how severe his alexithymia was until recently.
I am deeply in love with him and have been before we even formerly met. He has been aware of how much I love him since the beginning because I straight up told him. I'm devoted to him. I seriously love him so much.
A few weeks ago, he told me he "kinda loves" me. I questioned what he meant. He said he "thinks about [me] a lot, feels some affection towards [me], cares about [me] and likes talking to [me]". I stupidly said "if [he] only kinda [loves] me, it feels like [he's] indecisive" without thinking and this spiraled him into reevaluting our entire relationship. He now says he's not entirely sure if he loves me romantically at all, that he doesn't understand what love is or how it feels because of how rarely he feels positive emotion. He is certain that he knows sadness, anger and pain but not romantic love. He says he only knows what familial love is because he cried over his father being diagnosed with a terminal illness and that realization was only recently. He didn't even recognize jealousy as an emotion he could feel until I pointed out that getting upset over the idea of me being in a relationship with someone else IS, in fact, jealousy.
Ultimately, he said he's confused and frustrated with himself because he hurt my feelings. He said he doesn't want to base our relationship on something false, that he needs to be certain he loves me before being my boyfriend, that he thought he felt something but he only likes me at the moment, that he "wants to love" me. He claims he still wants to talk to me, will stay exclusive and won't cheat on me as long as we're in contact, that he will be upset if I talk to another man or cut contact with him. He said he will ask his friends and family to get a better understanding of what love is...
I'm just super confused and torn up about this whole thing. Not going to lie, it hurt SO much to hear him say that stuff. I have BPD so I feel things very intensely. From my point of view, it feels like he lied to me... it feels like he's manipulating and toying with my emotions. But after cooling down, I recognize he can't help it. I still love him. I want to understand him.
That's why it hurts so much, I don't understand why he said those things. He wants to love me but isn't sure if he can or will? While at the same time, he doesn't want me to move on from him? He said I make his day better, that I improve his mood when I'm with him, especially when I tell him I love him because it makes him feel not so worthless. But he doesn't recognize this as love? It's confusing.
Can anyone explain to me what might be going through his mind? Any explaination or advice will help SO much. 💔 Thank you. (We're both in our early 20s by the way.)
|
2024-12-19T03:15:48
|
1hhjhld
| 1 | 0 |
Alexithymia
|
Fiance Was Recently Diagnosed
|
So team, me (26 F) and my (27 m) fiance have been together for almost 7 years. I have CPTSD and have gotten the help I need. However, he was recently diagnosed with Alexithymia. It explains so much and yet... We've not been told really what to do with this information. I'm familiar with the condition and his presentations of it. He is just learning about things - but isn't yet able to recognize his behaviors as being linked in any way (yet?.. I'm hopeful).
I was hoping to get some ideas on how to communicate my needs from everyone. We've both expressed that life as it is now is just roommates with more financial involvement. However, it's hard to have any deep connection with a person when conversations often go:
Me: "Hey, can you wipe the counters down?"
Him: "But it's you're turn to clean the kitchen."
Me: "I'm leaving for work now and got called in for overtime."
Him: "Ok, I'll order a pizza for dinner."
While I recognize in this example, yes, it is my turn to clean I'm asking him because the weight of work, overtime, and some chores (dishes used to be a trigger) is too much for me. He knows this was a trigger. He believes I should do it regardless when it is my turn no matter the circumstances.
In my mind "turns" are a loose rule used to make sure things aren't falling too far behind. In his, it's the way things are and therefore they aren't bent.
This pattern of logical thinking is pervasive in every aspect of our relationship. So how, and when do I tell him that his logical thinking is neglecting the change in circumstances that frequently happen? And how do I communicate that him thinking it's logically unfair doesn't fulfill my emotional needs?
|
2024-12-19T01:44:59
|
1hhhr7b
| 1 | 0 |
Alexithymia
|
How to deal with what should be grief
|
I never considered the possibility that I just... don't really feel certain things, or at least don't understand them, but after recently losing a family member, I'm starting to see signs.
My family hasn't been about expressing big emotions, and so I followed along with that. The first time this happened, I was told we were a "dignified family," and that we handle someone's passing with dignity. No screaming, no crying, no... grief. It's not so much that I was specifically told not to express the sadness, but when I saw everyone else not expressing it, I didn't either. I was closer with the person that passed more recently, and now I find myself wondering "Shouldn't I be more upset? Shouldn't I be grieving?"
Anytime someone asks me if I'm alright, I reflexively respond "I'm fine. I was prepared for this," without even knowing if I'm telling the truth. AM I really alright? WAS I really prepared? I have no clue. I've just got this vague... unpleasantness in my chest that's just kinda sitting there. Is that was alexithymia is?
Out of curiosity, I took a couple of the tests. I got 121 on the OAQ and 66 on the TAS.
|
2024-12-17T15:49:34
|
1hgdje5
| 1 | 0 |
Alexithymia
|
People feel feelings in the body?? And that's... good?
|
So I was reading someone's blog on alexithymia, and there's like a topographical map of where in the body people feel different emotions. I have experienced it a couple of times with strong emotions, like the time I got caught travelling without a ticket (ahem), I felt like something plummeting to my stomach. But apparently, people feel like, all the feelings in their body? Even things like pride, contempt, love?
I had just decided I should work on alexithymia, but I'm now wondering why feeling things in the body should be desirable. A friend of mine has been having a lot of anxiety, and she can't even play board games where you have to lie because they make her stomach hurt. I guess there's something to experiencing the "full wealth" of... existence, I guess, but this just seems like a major drawback? Like every time you're having negative emotions, your body goes aaaaaaaaaaaSKLGJSDKLGJ. How does anyone get anything done with that sort of distaction?? lol
I'm also wondering what the purpose of that is. Surely it must have been beneficial in some way since humans evolved to be like that. Is it to let people know what feels good and what doesn't, so they procreate and stay alive longer? But if people magically just know what they're feeling, why does the body need to be involved? Or do they know what they're feeling because of their body? But that seems kinda what I do sometimes, like I often realise I need to eat because I'm breaking out in cold sweat lol, so that can't be it.
|
2024-12-16T12:55:24
|
1hfighj
| 1 | 0 |
Alexithymia
|
Does anyone else experience this?
|
I have not been diagnosed, however I relate and suspect I do have it. Whenever I am feeling an emotion, I rely heavily on physical sensations. Sometimes i emotionally feel it, but only when i recognize physical sensations and put a name to it. If im happy, i know this because I feel a tingling like bulge at the base of my throat. If I’m upset, i have an achy almost stabbing chest pain. Lots of times i feel very neural, almost as if I feel nothing. I’m not really sure how to identify positive emotions without using physical sensations. Is this potentially Alexithymia?
|
2024-12-16T06:44:26
|
1hfdb9f
| 1 | 0 |
Alexithymia
|
How can i understand this condition ?
|
Hey there i (21M) just joined this community to know more about this condition. My gf 19 has been through a rough past her parents neglected her from the age of 5 and its been so hard for me to know her emotions and she has told me that she herself gets confused so many times. I have known this thing from the very start of our relationship but sometimes it breaks my heart like why isn't she telling me that she cried today am i not her person ? And yet i feel like i am the jerk for not understanding her. And here i am knowing alot of people have this condition i just want to ask all of you how can i be a good person how can i understand her more people who are treated with this condition how did you make it out ? I really love her and i just want to know more about how to understand and help her out.
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2024-12-15T10:13:49
|
1hepppg
| 0 | 0 |
Alexithymia
|
Whenever I cry it’s really weird
|
I'm new here and I think I have alexithymia (I haven't been diagnosed) but whenever I cry, I usually don't understand why I am crying and I don't feel anything either. Before I discovered the term alexithymia one time I got home after a day that wasn't very good (I don't know how to describe it without using a phrase similar to "a rough day" because I don't really understand that feeling) and I was just reading or something and I started crying out of nowhere. It was really strange because I couldn't feel anything and I didn't know why I was crying. Has anyone else experienced this or am I alone?
|
2024-12-13T22:09:15
|
1hdnpl8
| 1 | 0 |
Alexithymia
|
Married with alexithymia
|
I've been with my partner for 11 years and married for 7 years and we have kids. I've always been a more reserved person. I was diagnosed ASD 3 years ago and discovered alexithymia along with way, my husband is also ASD (undiagnosed). I struggle with identifying any emotion and never really physically feel emotions except anxiety in my stomach. My partner is struggling with my lack of ability to show how I'm feeling. They find it hard to read my facial expressions. I know I love them and my kids. I struggle with being overwhelmed with general life on a daily basis and it leaves me with little energy to try to process my emotions. Any ideas what might help? I have made enquiries about therapy.
|
2024-12-13T11:30:58
|
1hda97t
| 1 | 0 |
Alexithymia
|
Alexithymia or not ..?
|
It's hard to tell whether it's Alexithymia or my dissociation and emotional dysregulation, so I wonder are they really this similar?
I'm always dissociated and I feel nothing even if I'm grounded, so I have to act happy or a certain emotion so I can blend in with other people.
I wanted to talk to a therapist about this so I can see if I can finally feel or manage my emotions better.
Are they really similar experiences to Alexithymia or am I crazy??
|
2024-12-13T09:17:51
|
1hd8hvd
| 1 | 0 |
Alexithymia
|
Constant feeling of stress anger and sadness
|
I think I have Alexythymia and currently I am trying to work on it.
For a few weeks I tried to write down what I felt but it is really hard to identify. I think I'm stressed, angry and sad like 90% of the time. There is always a weird feeling of pressure on my chest, flat breathing, etc.
Can anyone relate? What did you do to get better?
|
2024-12-13T00:20:53
|
1hczmy2
| 0 | 0 |
Alexithymia
|
But I just don't see what's so wrong with alexithymia
|
Yes, I understand I can be missing out on some emotional experiences.
I also think it's a net positive to be cold, I can take my choices based on logic instead of feelings/empathy (which can be deceiving) and I also don't really suffer from alexithymia, nor am I limited by it.
Does anyone else here feel similar? Or on the other hand, do you feel it limits you?
|
2024-12-12T10:46:05
|
1hcigb5
| 1 | 0 |
Alexithymia
|
I didn't know this was a thing until today... but I know I've been experiencing it my whole life
|
This makes so much sense.
Now I have a word for why it takes me forever to figure out my feelings and opinions. It makes sense why I struggle to read other people.
I know I have CPTSD. Therapists have always told me I don't seem like I'm on the autism spectrum... but I know I relate to that diagnosis in some ways. Now I have a word for it.
A lot of my PTSD has been healed. I've been dealing with burnout for the past 3 years. Now that I'm not constantly in flight/freeze/fawn mode (fight mode was never really my thing) I've been able to reflect more on myself and what sort of state I am normally in. I still struggle with looking at my own emotions. I still struggle with reading other people's emotions. Confusion, burnout, or just chilling is like my default state.
This sucks having this as a woman... we're supposed to be in tune with emotions.
Now that I think about it, I would bet that most of my family has this issue. Not a single one of them gives a shit about the feelings of others nor identifying anything regarding their own mental health or feelings. I think it didn't help that one of the people who raised me is a narcissist and sadist. No child can learn about their mental and emotional needs properly when being raised by someone like that.
I spent a couple years in therapy for my PTSD and it helped so much. But looking back on it... I was still numb emotionally. And if any emotions did hit me, it was overwhelming and confusing. Those feelings charts helped. But I would sort of dig for whatever flicker of a feeling I could find, take it and run with it. Even though it was surrounded by mostly being numb or confused. I've spent so many years intelectualizing stuff that goes on in myself that it was probably a form of masking.
I can deal with the inner turmoil in myself. I'm used to it. What I have never figured out is how to read the room and figure out what other people are going through emotionally.
|
2024-12-12T00:19:57
|
1hc8e38
| 0 | 0 |
Alexithymia
|
There is literally nothing in me
|
I don’t know what to say. I’m sitting here feeling alone, unheard, unwanted, angry, sad, frustrated… but I have no way to explain any of this. I’m just sitting here alone with a blank face, not sad enough to cry, not mad enough to scream. I’ve tried calling hotlines but when it comes time to explain myself, to put my feelings into words… I can’t. I don’t know how to explain this feeling of emptiness. It’s like I’m hearing constant screaming but I can’t comprehend what they’re saying. I don’t know, it makes no sense but I just feel so completely alone.
|
2024-12-11T04:22:26
|
1hblcj3
| 0 | 0 |
Alexithymia
|
Alexithymia and fantasy
|
Hi, I would like to ask:
Have you unlogic dreams in the night?
Do you remember your dreams?
Have you fantasy?
Do you know fantasize your future?
I read, that alexithymic people not.
|
2024-12-11T12:40:38
|
1hbskfl
| 1 | 0 |
Alexithymia
|
Do you have issue to speak with people and being understood badly despite you are totally calm?
|
I was wondering if it happens to you getting scolded for something you said that is considered "Insensitive", but actually you can't understand what is the issue!??!And then conversation focuses on "how your behaviour is wrong and how that affects other emotionally" more than what you said correctly.
If yes, be free to share your experience. If no...just ignore the post.
I don't know if this is a trait of alexithymia, I still must meet my therapist to talk about this.
but I am currently confused that my body is stressed.
|
2024-12-11T14:54:26
|
1hbv81w
| 1 | 0 |
Alexithymia
|
Bought my first car and struggling to understand what I'm feeling
|
I bought my first car yesterday.
I bought a car.
And I don’t know what the f\*\*k I am feeling.
I’m just not sure. I don’t know.
It’s like everyone is “wow you bought a car. That’s awesome. We’re proud of you. It’s a great 25th birthday present." And I don’t know what I am feeling.
I’m like aaah everyone is excited and maybe I should mirror that. But I’m not sure if that’s what I’m actually feeling. I’m even struggling to put together words to explain this situation as you can see. And it's killing me that I'm unable to comprehend what I'm feeling. Am I feeling anything at all?
|
2024-12-11T02:24:30
|
1hbj56a
| 0 | 0 |
Alexithymia
|
Am I in the right place?
|
Hello, I've been trying to find a label on how I've felt for all my life and recently stumbled on alexithymia. It seemingly fits- but I'd like to know if I’m simply not understanding the criteria as intended so I was wondering if I could get others input on whether I should continue looking into the condition or elsewhere.
I’m not looking for diagnosis from this post but whether this sounds like the condition or not. Any other advice is appreciated
For some background I am Audhd (self diagnosed autism but 90% sure (everything else is diagnosed)), have anxiety, childhood trauma, history of depression and disassociation (but only one episode at a realy young age/doesn't really affect me anymore).
examples of my experience with emotions:
• inability to recognize emotions since a young age (atleast grade 4 from my memory?) I would always answer "fine" or "ok" to question about my feelings and could never give an honest or straight answer
• find emotional conversations hard, annoying, uninteresting and "muddy". I'll just lie my way through them to end the interaction as soon as possible.
• But, I can (as of recent) kind of place my feelings based on internal cues (hunger level, the smell of my breath (related to hunger), thought patterns, heart rate, how people/characters i've observed would react).
• I can kind of feel emotions? Like "negative" emotions(anger/sadness) hurt. like really hurt in my body and I can usually tell from that if its them or not.
•But I am also outwardly hyper expressive. My face is very expressive almost like an animated character, and often I can infer from that how I am feeling (1. I am not disassociated from my body. 2. I emote entirely unconsciously. I can control my facial expressions but often do not. They are often socially appropriate but sometimes aren't (smiling when uncomfortable). I can tell this is a way of processing emotions for me)
• And one last thing: I have a hard time telling when I'm hungry right until I’m starving (can combat this recently though with how my breath feels (I get hungry breath and it feels different in my mouth than 'normal' breath).
Again, not looking for diagnosis just if this is the right path for me or not.
Thank you for your time.
|
2024-12-10T07:14:16
|
1hawahl
| 1 | 0 |
Alexithymia
|
Am i in the right place?
|
Hi there , my name is emily and i have been diagnosed with Alexithymia but i dont think i have it? I can identify and feel my own emotions well , the only thins is they overwhelm me quite a lot . The problem is with emotions of other people and seeing them , is this the right place for me?
|
2024-12-10T12:03:32
|
1hb08k9
| 1 | 0 |
Alexithymia
|
Experiencing love
|
So, I now sure I have experience my first love yesterday for the first time in my life. And it's sooooooooo beautiful. I had asked here before about love and what it feels like. It's such a high energy feeling. My body is surging with energy and my heart is throbbing with joy. I can't stop thinking about the other person. A week before now, I never would have thought I'd be experiencing this so soon. This is the first space I'm ever expressing this. Since I usually don't feel emotions intensely, I'm trying to start by writing about it here. This emotion is so intense it physically hurts. And I feel expressing it here might be the first step to get it out properly.
I have a therapist appointment today and I plan on expressing it to her verbally. Wish me luck.
|
2024-12-09T04:57:43
|
1ha25v1
| 0 | 0 |
Alexithymia
|
Feels weird realizing I've never seen my parents show intense (positive) emotions
|
Like I always blame myself for my alexithymia and other problems I have, but then I see how other parents would celebrate and show joy with their (adult?) children, and realize I never got that. It's like my parents passed on alexithymia directly to me. You can even see it in my sisters, but to varying degrees. It clearly hit me the hardest, possibly because I'm a guy. Makes me sad that it I was destined to be this way, but also not sad cause it wasn't really my fault.
EDIT: The post that did it for me was this one. The best I ever got was "You got a new job? Lets go out for dinner". [Father's reaction to his daughter becoming a nurse : r/MadeMeSmile](https://www.reddit.com/r/MadeMeSmile/comments/1h8r9jo/fathers_reaction_to_his_daughter_becoming_a_nurse/)
|
2024-12-07T17:12:58
|
1h8x3fk
| 1 | 0 |
Alexithymia
|
I'm feeling quite upset after a therapy session gone wrong
|
I already posted this is another sub, but I thought I may repost it here because I feel the difficulties I experience fit well within the topic of alexithymia.
I just came out of a therapy session, and I'm feeling pretty awful, I don't understand what happened. I thought things were going all right with this therapist, but today's session took an unexpected turn and I'm just upset, feeling like I'm a complete failure.
So I've been seeing this therapist weekly for only three weeks, this was just my third session. The first two sessions were all right, I felt like I opened up a ton about my problems and my trauma, we talked about my past and current relationships, about my family history, my mom (I have a complicated history with all these topics).
The decision to get therapy in the first place was hard for me because it's really hard for me to open up and talk about my feelings, because I grew up in a environment where expressing feelings was basically not allowed and even punished. Not only it's hard for me to talk about feelings, sometimes it's hard for me to even identify my feelings and actually truly allow myself to FEEL them. I am very disconnected with my emotions and even my body sensations, which is partly the reason I'm seeking therapy. I told the therapist these things since the first session.
In today's session, I thought we were going to follow up with the story of my childhood and my mom, etc, which we left unfinished last time. But instead she asked me how I was feeling in the moment. I told her I was feeling stressed because of work. She asked me how does that stress feel and where in my body do I feel it, and I told her that I struggled with this type of question because of the disconnection I have to my body, I can only bodily feel an emotion if it's overwhelmingly intense, otherwise emotions feel to me just kind of like ideas in my head, and I don't recognize a particular body part associated with them most of the time. I don't know if this is normal or common or not but it's how I feel. I told her that I don't do well with this type of questions and preferred to talk about my past where we left off in the last session.
But she didn't seem interested in this. She kept asking about my current job, my educational background, my job history, so I went on with it, we talked a little about how I feel in my job field and career, etc. I struggle a bit with "imposter syndrome" in my career, so I opened up about that, about how I often feel I don't work well enough or hard enough. She then made me do an "exercise" where she made me repeat some phrases like, one phrase was "It has been hard, but I'm doing it well". I said I was not sure I wanted to say that because the second part didn't feel honest to me, she told me to repeat the phrase still, and then she asked how saying that phrase made me feel, and I told her it didn't make me feel anything and I repeated once again that I struggled with that type of question, because I don't think repeating a phrase I don't believe in necessarily makes me feel in a specific way.
She said that this struggle I say I have with expressing my feelings is indicative that I'm not opening up enough, that I'm putting up a barrier and that I say I "struggle" with it when in reality I simply don't want to. And that if I don't want to express my feelings and refuse to open up then it just means I'm not ready, or that I should maybe seek another therapist because her method is just not working on me.
Honestly this made me feel truly awful and I started crying (ha! finally I succeeded in expressing a feeling, I guess) because I felt that I had really opened up to her in the last two sessions, I told her things I hadn't told anyone. I let her know this, I told her I was feeling rejected, that it was not easy for me to just go seek another therapist next week and tell another person everything again. I told her that after this experience I feel it's going to be hard for me to trust another therapist and I feel now discouraged of getting the help I need as it will likely take me some time to gather the courage to seek therapy again. She just said "well, that's your decision", and that ended the session.
I just wanted to share this experience, I don't know very well what to make of it at the moment. Please feel free to give me your thoughts of this, I'll appreciate it. Thank you.
|
2024-12-07T06:05:03
|
1h8m544
| 1 | 0 |
Alexithymia
|
Alexithymia’s Whisper
|
I feel the storm, but not the rain,
A puzzle piece without the frame.
My heart beats loud, my soul’s in tune,
Yet words escape like a lost balloon.
Is this joy, or is it fear?
A foggy mirror, nothing clear.
Emotions knock, I hear them play,
But can’t invite them in to stay.
“Why so quiet?” they often ask,
Behind my smile, a hidden mask.
I wish I knew, I’d tell them true,
But feelings hide—no proper clue.
A sunset burns the evening sky,
And yet, my chest feels cold and dry.
I want to feel, to touch, to name,
But every spark just feels the same.
Still, I try—oh, how I do,
To paint my world in brighter hues.
Though words may fail, my heart still sings,
In silent chords on unseen strings.
So, if I seem a little lost,
A driftwood heart, a wave-tossed frost,
Know I’m here, I’m holding on,
My feelings hum, a muted song.
For love is there, it’s just unclear,
A quiet pulse, yet strong and near.
Alexithymia’s grip is tight,
But still, I search for color, light.
|
2024-12-05T17:08:53
|
1h7e3od
| 1 | 0 |
Alexithymia
|
I can offer you new life
|
Why not now?
Do you have a spare room? I’m looking to be your accountability partner and your nerdy new roommate. Picture this: you, me, and a shared Wi-Fi password that fuels the greatest platonic duo of our time.
Need someone to keep you on track? I’ll be there—whether it’s hyping you up for the gym (or dramatically waving you off with a cup of coffee like a sitcom dad) or helping you finally tackle that to-do list. Together, we can laugh through the chaos, conquer procrastination, and maybe even figure out why reusable grocery bags always get left behind.
In exchange for housing, I bring value: groceries, strategic business analysis, or personalized life coaching (your choice). Think of me as a roommate who’s also your secret weapon for thriving in life.
If this sounds like a win-win, let’s connect. Shoot me a quick message with the line “Roommate Goals,” and let’s chat about the details. I’ll bring the jokes—you bring the housing.
|
2024-12-06T22:28:19
|
1h8dlf6
| 0 | 0 |
Alexithymia
|
Resources For Daughter With Organization and Follow-through Issues
|
I have strong Alexithymia, and believe it is part of who I am. I suspect maybe some Autism in me, and maybe some ADHD. My therapist is still evaluating me, but that is secondary to my concerns today.
My daughter is entering college for a Health related field and I fear she's just like me. I see the same inability to organize and lack of "want" to improve my life, so I fear for her choice and her future.
I feel like a failure in not being able guide her. I don't know what to counsel her on since I'm unable to offer realistic advice since I don't see the world in the way most people do.
My capacity for memorization is crap and since I don't care about "pride" in completing a task, I just don't care enough to follow through to 100% on most projects. I get to 80% usable and move on to other important issues, which I realize isn't enough. I know I ignore basic details that might help me, but my Alexithymic outlook means I'm not concerned about the details.
My question is this: Do any of you in this Alexithymia community have concrete suggestions that have helped YOU in being more pro-active or organized in your lives?
I'm hoping for a workbook or "Organization for Dummies" suggestion or something that has directly helped someone here. I don't want anything nebulous about "I heard" or "someone said", but true resources that have helped someone here with Alexythemia to become better at seeing and following-up on the issues that surround them.
I see she struggles with organization and follow-through. I struggle with these exact issues. How do I support her in becoming more organized when I can't figure it out for my own life?
I am lost in how I can support my daughter. Please help if you know how.
|
2024-12-06T03:55:59
|
1h7sk59
| 1 | 1 |
Alexithymia
|
What has been helping you to overcome alexithymia and connect with you feelings and emotions?
|
I have been numbing my emotions for most of my life due to being emotional neglect and absense at home and being bullied at school, and even more when I started crying. Two years ago I worked with an empathic therapist highly focused, on feeling empathy for all pain a suffered during my childhood, but no longer was be able to connect with in order to be able to release it.
I can rationally pin point my traumas, but without being able to connect with them I can't let go all suppressed pain and anger. Watching a movie or hearing a painful or happy story nowadays of someone else can make me feel their pain and happiness, and make me emotionally (IE https://www.reddit.com/r/theviralthings/s/uP0u22QueP or this one regarding our need for connection https://www.reddit.com/r/aww/s/DXsOHbWb5u). Usually it is not expected of men to become emotionally, however from my perspective allowing my self to become emotionally feels like helping me alot in releasing a lot of old traumas that I want to let go. Besides this integrating feelings and emotions as an adult, makes me feel better in connecting on emotional level with myself and others.
What has been helping you to (re)connect with your feelings and emotions as a human (and care less about expectations of others)?
|
2024-12-05T03:20:56
|
1h6zjfw
| 1 | 0 |
Alexithymia
|
I don't feel i will ever be able to live normally in society
|
I (21F) am autistic, in both fields (affective and cognitive) of alexithymia and giftedness. I have no real relationship besides my mom, even my closest friends know nothing about me besides superficial stuff (what are my hobbies, what i listen to, things like that), also these friends are with me no longer than 3 years, so, of course, I don't have any lasting relationship of any kind.
Every time I tried to engage in a romantic relationship it turned out really bad and always ends the same way: i can not understand the person and the person can not understand me and expect me to change things that I don't wanna change or can not change at all.
I am in an internship, I thought those things related to my mental condition would not affect (too much) my life in the professional area, but I was wrong. I recently received my "feedback" (something, me and the company I work for, are obligated to do every 6 month to continue the internship) from my superior and I got "Excellent" (highest score) in my hard skills, but for everything else (communication, ability to understand other, commitment, relationship in the company, etc.) I received "Insufficient" (worst score) even though I really did the best I could in these soft skill stuff (which also gave me really bad crisis for almost 2 weeks last month).
I suffer from agoraphobia so leaving the house is really a problem for me, i just leave when its really necessary and just spend the minimum time possible. So, I basically just leave for college, I go direct to my classes and direct home when it ends.
Recently I am in so much stress that I am missing a lot of classes in sequence and I started to have physical symptoms too often even when I am the whole day at home.
I take medication to give me more energy to do things and especially to cope with being away from home. I go to the psychiatrist (every 2 months) and psychologist (every week) since I was diagnosed (2 years ago) with everything I said in the beginning.
Does any of you have similar complains? Does it get better at least a little? If you managed to make things easier, what did you do? I really fear i will suffer forever having to be part of a society that really does not work for me at all, I can not see a scenario where it changes.
|
2024-12-04T22:42:23
|
1h6tjjs
| 1 | 0 |
Alexithymia
|
ups and downs in romantic relationships
|
i posted not even 2 weeks ago about the lack of feeling arousal i struggle with while being in a healthy and loving relationship. my libido was really really low for a solid 2 months, but now i’m easily excited and have a high libido again. i’m not sure if it’s due to alexithymia that i struggle with sex and arousal and go through insane highs and lows, or if it’s attributed to my ADHD, autism, or just simply my personality.
does anyone have issues with physical intimacy with lots of constant changing? when my libido is high, i’ll be obsessed with my partner and have more physical romantic affection towards them, when my libido is low i still care and love them but feel more indifferent and in my ‘neutral’ state. i worry they feel when im a bit more disconnected from my emotions during the periods where i struggle to feel them or understand them. i want to work on myself to be a more stable partner but feel very alone at the moment. any one feel anything similar?
|
2024-12-05T01:22:34
|
1h6x41h
| 1 | 1 |
Alexithymia
|
Do I have Alexithymia??
|
I think if I do, it's more the cognitive type, since I feel emotions quite strongly, but I don't exactly UNDERSTAND them - it's hard to explain, but if I mess up something, it's hard for me to get if it's shame, or rage, or fear, or disappointment, or whatever because it's just so much all at once or i've never felt this way before, and it's even harder for me to cope, which just makes everything worse because im so confused. or it's just some emotional regulation problems, idk
|
2024-12-04T02:41:42
|
1h65o8a
| 1 | 0 |
Alexithymia
|
Relationship between ADHD & Alexithymic partner
|
I’m 45 (F) with late diagnosed ADHD. Husband of almost 20 years I suspect is ASD with alexithymia.
We recently had a big misunderstanding and he said a couple of things that suddenly shed light on our relationship dynamic. A lot of my conversations and words (especially emotionally charged) he takes literally. So using reverse psychology, nuance, hints etc is lost on him. (mind blown!!!) He also shuts down and detaches from me if he feels at all pressured to make a decision or feels threatened. He also has difficulty in identifying or explaining his emotions, or what to do when I am heightened.
All of this makes so much sense, as I have felt at times he has emotionally abandoned me when I need him most. I always thought that it was a sign of him not caring, when actually he cares so much that he is preparing for the worst and has to disconnect. He just does not know how to handle me when I’m angry or upset, it makes him very anxious.
I am the opposite - experience emotions on such a vivid spectrum and so intensely. When I’m happy, I’m bouncing off the walls. When I’m
angry, I feel intense rage; when I am rejected, betrayed or sad, I feel physical pain in my chest. I am outward in expressing these emotions. My spouse can feel and identify his emotions but he ourwardly appears the same, perhaps just a bit quieter when upset.
I am often feeling desperately lonely or unloved because he doesn’t meet my emotional needs. I crave deep emotional connection, words of affirmation, spontaneous interactions, feelings of being understood or validated. I have tried to help direct him what to do or say to make me feel more emotionally connected, but it feels so…inauthentic? For example, I have to tell him what gifts to buy me, because he fears getting it wrong - it feels like he doesn’t care enough to think of it himself (I know it’s not true, but I may as well buy my own). He repeats the same few compliments, rote learned…not very heartfelt (I gave him a big list of compliments to choose from but even that feels tacky). We have lots of superficial conversations. I miss being able to have meaningful conversations, however, he struggles of course with articulating feelings.
He is honestly trying, and now that I know we have very different brain wiring, it is a relief to know he’s not just being a jerk (he gets defensive sometimes when I point out what I need). His love language is acts of service…which is fine, but to me, doesn’t even register as “love” (it’s just stuff you do anyway in my mind). We have a good physical relationship and parent well together. I’m just grieving the fact he is not ever going to be the man who makes romantic gestures, write letters or poetry, or share the inner workings of his mind (he also has difficulty picturing things in his mind, whereas I am full of vivid imagery). I feel so lonely after more than two decades of not having my emotional needs met - and accepting they may never be by him *sniff* I have few friends and lost some of the closer ones, so I am really on my own.
To the rest of the world, he’s a catch. Handsome, kind, good at his job, great father. They don’t see the gaping hole in emotional intimacy/comnection.
I will be finding a couples cousellor specialising in neurodirgent relationships to help us.
However, is there anything else we can do to assist our communication and connection (that isn’t just me doing all the work preferrably. I did ask him to do some things for me, but the pressure plus fear of getting it wrong means inaction).
Thanks for listening.
|
2024-12-02T01:23:27
|
1h4j8nr
| 1 | 1 |
Alexithymia
|
TW-sh. Question for both after by this and depression
|
Tw once again. Do u think u wan/ feeling of need to sh in replace of what others on here call a “physical sense of pain” to emotional sadness? As from personal experience of feeling what felt like nothingness I need to feel something anything.???
|
2024-12-01T22:46:10
|
1h4fv4v
| 0 | 0 |
Alexithymia
|
Struggling - relationship
|
Hey, I'm autistic and I have alexythima. My partner(?) and I were chatting and he asked me a question that was abstract. A hypothetical that any other person would have understood or inferred. He said I made everything worse and he feels unsupported emotionally. I felt hurt by this because I do everything to support him however I can. I know I am terrible at it so I ask him what I can do for him.
Unfortunately, I also seem to have issues understanding what people mean. He says he tries to explain things several ways, only to remain misunderstood. He decided to expect nothing. I do not know how to move forward with this information.
He doesn't blame me but I do. Even if I do blame myself, I do not know what to do about it. I exercise a few techniques I have mastered over the years regarding emotional support such as listening, asking him what he needs but that isn't enough when I can't understand what he needs. I understand when he explicitly says what he needs but it seems he doesn't want or know how to do that.
Anyway, I know that since this is my issue. It'll be something I'll struggle with in any relationship so it's not my partner's issue.
I am unsure what to do with this information. Am I unfit to be in any relationship?
|
2024-11-30T12:50:15
|
1h3bx0n
| 0 | 0 |
Alexithymia
|
Help with a workbook
|
Hi everyone,
I'm working on a workbook specifically designed to support neurodivergent individuals.
The idea is to be a safe space for self-expression and mindfulness. You can open it anywhere, there is no specific order, you do it when you feel like it.
It has prompts where you have to use your imagination, it has doodle pages, coloring pages, some more serious pages (but my goal is to not have to think hard about any prompt, just go with flow).
I'd like to make some pages to help people with alexithymia identifying emotions.
As someone who values lived experiences and community insight, I want to ensure that the workbook is actually helpful, and relatable. That’s where you come in!
I’d love your input on:
- What kinds of prompts or exercises have helped you (or might help you) identify or understand your emotions better?
- What approaches or tools have you found useful in navigating emotional blind spots or building self-awareness?
- If you’ve ever felt frustrated by emotion-based resources (because they didn’t account for the way you experience emotions), I’d love to hear about that too.
- And if you’ve always wished for a specific kind of resource or prompt but never found it, let me know.
If you’re open to sharing, any thoughts, experiences, or suggestions would be deeply appreciated. I want to make this workbook as helpful as possible.
Thank you so much for reading this and for being willing to share your experiences.
|
2024-11-28T10:32:32
|
1h1t5mi
| 1 | 0 |
Alexithymia
|
Am I affected by this?
|
I almost certainly have autism and might also be have ADHD. I'm 40 and just discovered this word while obsessively searching the internet for stuff related to neurodivergence instead of getting work done.
I definitely have feelings. I cried when a pet died. I feel happy when I'm with friends. I get annoyed at stupid people. I laugh and make jokes.
But the vast majority of the time, if someone were to ask me "how are you feeling?" I would have no answer. "fine I guess, IDK". They may ask more questions "Are you happy? Sad?" The answer is no, I just "am". I exist. I think, I do things, I even enjoy things and dislike other things. But those are more just facts of life than an internal feeling.
For the most part my brain does not focus on feelings naturally. Perhaps every week or so. It is occurring to me now that perhaps many people's brains are noticing or looking at their own feelings very often. Mine is almost always thinking instead. Looking at things in the real world, thinking about things I enjoy. I think it's that feelings are so... undefinable that I don't know how to make my brain focus on them.
|
2024-11-27T22:05:45
|
1h1gb7s
| 0 | 1 |
Alexithymia
|
How do you know whether you feel an emotion, or a thought about an emotion?
|
Hey all, trying to figure out whether I have alexithymia or not. I do have autism and cptsd.
As an example, if I am really upset about something, I can usually feel a physical pain somewhere in my body. I can play around a bit, experiment with thinking about the situation and stop, the bodily sensation will come and go with it. Very high correlation. I used to think it was a psychosomatic disorder but... Is that actually what an emotion is? Or am I supposed to experience something else paired with it?
Alternately, I can mentally think about emotions. I might imagine what shame feels like, or joy. But I don't know if that's actually what I experience, or if I just imagine emotions.
Ok, I realize this rant makes no sense. But hopefully you can guide me anyway.
Edit:
Oh! I just realized I am pretty sure I mistake a lot of things for sexual arousal.
I always think I'm horny, but if I really concentrate hard I can acknowledge that I'm not even in the mood for sex, but I AM lonely or sad, or in need of comfort or something else.
|
2024-11-27T02:47:36
|
1h0u643
| 1 | 0 |
Alexithymia
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Did the emotion wheel actually help you?
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When my psychologist pulled that out or something similar to it, I had this “problem” where I could obviously read and write the words for the emotions, I’m not illiterate, but I still didn’t know what it meant or referred to. Don’t know if I explained this right, but imagine seeing the word “skongletip”. You can read it, you can write it, but it’s just a word.
Even if I do have a certain feeling or emotion, it doesn’t help me out when I don’t notice or recognize it and thus obviously can’t put a word on it. So I don’t really get how that wheel could work for other people with alexithymia. On the flipside, I was able to do the ones I have felt and know I have felt, like interest, curiosity, boredom, anger, happiness, etc.
I think the only thing that’s made me improve has been other people telling me straight that “you’re frustrated right now” and even what exactly made me that way, based on how they saw me behave. I learned to associate the word with the feeling because they caught it as it happened.
I’m not trying to invalidate people whom it worked for in the sense that they actually improved at recognizing emotions. If they did, that’s great. I just don’t see how that makes any logical sense.
Man, I hate that wheel…
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2024-11-26T07:08:22
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1h0622y
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Alexithymia
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Blank face
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This may be funny or not, idk. But I know people who have alexithymia often don't have that many facial expression, I don't either (I think that's why we can look younger than we are) but you know when you go to the gym and there are people lifting weights and making struggling faces because the weight is heavy? I can't do that, it can be heavy and I wanna give up but I can't make a struggling face, is it a me thing or normal among people who have alexithymia?
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2024-11-26T10:16:16
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1h08m66
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