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string | title
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socialskills
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How to fix a friendship that I have been damaging over many years
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I have some friends that I have had since 2010. I consider them to be friends who I have the deepest bond with. But over the years, I realized that I have done some significant damage.
The thing is, I relate a lot to personality types like Enneagram type 5, INTJ (MBTI) and Conscientious (OCEAN). If you're familiar with these, you can guess what my personality is like.
The issue is, I can be quite direct and brutally honest when I say things. Sometimes my words can feel like a stab in the chest. And I can also be very emotionless. It's not that I don't have emotions. But emotional connection and sensitivity aren't things I am too good at. Usually because I don't know what to say and it feels weird to be emotional with others.
And, I recognize that this is a problem. I have been improving myself over the last 2 years. I think a lot more about people's feelings than just facts and objectivity now. But I still have some trouble with emotional connectivity, like asking my friends how they are doing, and making them feel better. Basically, it feels kind of unnatural to me.
The problem I want advice on mainly is, I have already done a lot of damage over the years. I notice now that some of my friends just don't like me anymore. I want to know how to recover this damage. I want it to be more than just sorry. I want action too.
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2025-06-14T13:44:52
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1lb91x3
| 1 | 0 |
socialskills
|
I want better social skills :(
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I am very quiet, but I have a friendly personality , so I like to think people would find it easy to come up to me I can be bubbly and happy when someone speaks to me, but I don't know what to say, most talk comes from the other person hardly me doing the speaking, I'm just never sure what to say. It makes me feel so stuck I want people to like me, but I just seem to lose their interest as it’s going I'll always listen, but all i can do is agree keep my words so short that it ends very quickly even if one of my interests gets brought up I have nothing to say and dont know how to go into detail i really hate not being able to express myself it brings me down especially since i genuinely want to talk more and i care about what someone has to say i just struggle to talk how do i stop being like this and get better at conversations and making friends?
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2025-06-13T20:10:01
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1lapszw
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
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I feel like my presence is not welcome or acknowledgedand it suuuucks!!!
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Over the past couple years, I’ve noticed that people just don’t seem to acknowledge my presence (or immediately dislike me/write me off).
At work, everyone seems to get along pretty well. They exchange pleasantries, chat about life and work, etc. I’ve tried joining in but it’s usually met with silence or short, vague responses. I usually try to greet everyone I come across and try to maintain a friendly, polite working relationship with them.
When I sit in my team’s work area, people will just make random small talk with them but never me. It also feels pretty discouraging that while an orientation tour was being conducted, the new hire was introduced to everyone over three departments in our shared area individually by name and they forgot me.
Just today, I was walking out of work with another colleague. We both waved bye at this one guy as we were on our way out. That guy waved back but then said “have a nice weekend, OP’s colleague!!!!!” and didn’t acknowledge me. Earlier this week that same guy ignored when I was greeting him and then immediately starts laughing and chatting with a person walking behind me.
I’m not sure what I’m doing wrong because nothing I try seems to work or I’m not doing enough lol. It really likes as though people can sense that I’m a lonely loser and don’t want to associate with me. How do you approach and try to warm up people in a way that doesn’t repulse them 🥴😅 I feel like I’m an outcast.
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2025-06-14T03:38:17
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1laz46p
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
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Would you use a sign/app to say you're open to conversation?
|
Hi, I'm trying to create a bit more of interaction between humans in the day to day, i think one of the things that's becoming harder by the day is socializing in spots like coffee shops or even uni lunchrooms, most people are on their phone, using headphones and this gives off the signal that they don't wanna talk but some of them do.
I want to introduce this concept "open to talk", the core idea is to have a little sign you can take with you to your table, drop it on that says 'join me' lowering that barrier.
The other idea is to make an app, so you can see if there are any people willing to socialize when you're not there + the ability to link it to a phone number and block creeps possibly if they have say 3 strikes where they made the other person uncomfortable.
My question is, is this something that y'all would use?
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2025-06-14T09:00:55
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1lb49e6
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
I wanted to talk to her but don't know how to [in dire need of advice ]
|
I’m doing an internship right now. There’s a girl from my class working in the same room as me.
The problem is, we’re seated at two opposite corners, and if I try to talk to her, I’d have to walk past 4–5 people who are all working. It feels awkward.
I’ve missed a few natural moments—like when we’re keeping or taking our bags.
She seems friendly and even smiles at me sometimes, but I have zero confidence when it comes to speaking with girls.
Whenever she passes by, my mind just freezes. By the time I think of what to say, she’s already walked away. 🥲
It is even depressing I missed chances of talking to her several times...[She tried to talk to me a few times ,I couldn't respond well]
I really want to befriend her , but I don’t know how to break the ice.
Any advice ?
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2025-06-14T02:54:56
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1laybv6
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Messed up while making a phone call
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I really dislike making phone calls. But my mom needed some meds from the pharmacy since she was running out and she doesn’t speak English well so I had to make the call for her. I always try to plan something out in my head before calling but this time I just called and I started explaining the story to whoever picked up the phone. I guess I started speaking fast while explaining and the pharmacy assistant I’m assuming goes (in a bit of a sassy way) “okay slow down”. I felt so embarassed after because I just kept rambling on and spoke so fast about what my mom needed when I didnt even need that.
I’m starting a new job tomorrow and here I am again feeling so sad because of my poor social skills. :(
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2025-06-13T20:47:23
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1laqogw
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
How to socialise if your an introvert pro??
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I have been a little introvert from my childhood. During and after my b.tech i have become so introverted. Is that a problem in future??
Now I’m so addicted to being in solitude and i feel so peaceful. Very few interactions like at my office, gym, church etc. Not interested in social gatherings anymore. But I want to level up my social & communication skills, network.
Any suggestions..
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2025-06-14T04:53:47
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1lb0gae
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
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Feedback on my conversation
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There's a bit of context here, feel free to skip ahead to the conversation below, any help is appreciated :)
So I tried to make friends in one of my classes today, it didn't go too well and I'm looking for constructive feedback on how I could do better. I get that delivery and body language matters a lot too but obviously I can't recreate them. Context, this is a university tutorial class, smallish, with the tutor talking for most of the hour. It's a more artsy class and it's almost entirely filled with girls, and I struggle to make friends with girls. I tried talking during the little breaks when the tutor wouldn't talk.
So I went up to the only person in the class at the time and asked if I could sit next to them. Coincidentally, she was also in another course I took last sem (I remember her because of their coloured hair). She gave me an smile and nodded. I then asked if she were in my maths class last sem, to which she said yes, and asked if I took it too, and I obviously said yes.
I asked for her name and gave her mine, then throughout the class I asked the following questions:
Me: "How come you switched degrees"
Other person: "Maths is really hard"
M: "Yeah course x we did last sem was truly disgusting", and then we had a bit of a laugh
O: "How come you switched degrees"
M: "Oh I just switched back to doing this class, I was originally doing it before maths"
M: "What other courses are you doing this sem then"
O: "x, y, and z"
M: "Oh z is meant to be quite easy I heard"
O: "Yeah, I like it, the lecturers very nice"
M: "How do you find course x? I did it last year"
O: "Yeah it's pretty easy, it's similar to this course we're in now. I'm surprised we have to do both for this degree"
M: "Is it? I don't even remember hahaha"
At this point, I felt pretty embarrassed - I don't think it came across in the post but I was doing most of the questioning here. I shut up and just did my work for the next 20 minutes. The tutor didn't really help by doing her job and teaching us lmao, but it really didn't feel like the person I was talking to was interested in being friends. When class ended, she just got up and left without saying bye.
I know I'm not the most skilled at conversation, especially with girls I don't really know, but I was just wondering how I can improve? It would be cringey asking my real friends lol
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2025-06-14T07:52:49
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1lb38wa
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Should I tell my friend that their words of comfort actually ended up making me feel worse about myself?
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This is something that I've been thinking about for a while. I 24F have an old friend whom I've confided in for many years. She's always been very supportive of me and always listens to my rants and validates my feelings. Of course, I do the same for her. We love each other very, very much.
But sometimes, very rarely but recently, she said something that I know was meant to comfort me, but ended up making me feel worse and made me feel horrible. We were on the phone, and I felt so upset that I made up some excuse and just ended the call.
This was the situation today. I messed up a littled at work, but me, being an emotional wreck, freaked out about it and felt like the world was ending. I called my friend to talk about it, and when she heard about it she said something along the lines of: It could have been much worse. You could have gotten punished for this., but you weren't. You should feel lucky that it wasn't worse. // It's no big deal. I don't get why you're making a big fuss.
This is what I heard. Rationally, I know 100% in my heart of hearts, that she was definitely trying to lighten the mood and cheer me up. There is no universe in which she was intentionally trying to dismiss my feelings. But somehow it just went all wrong in my brain and I almost started sobbing when I heard those words and I just cut the call quickly.
I was also a bit rushed in cutting the call and said something like: Gosh, I don't know if that makes me feel better. Sorry, I got to go. Beep.
I just. I don't know how to feel. Do I tell her that her words hurt my feelings, even though she definitely did not mean it? If I do tell her, what good would it do? It would just make HER feel bad about it, and it'd be both of us feeling miserable rather than just me, right? It's not like she could take back those words, and she probably didn't even mean them in the way that my brain interpreted.
Is this a me problem that I should just work out myself in therapy, or would I benefit from talking to my friend about this?
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2025-06-13T12:41:15
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1laexay
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
How to Listen and stop making it about myself
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For most of my life, I've been somewhat of a narcissist and I been noticing that this has majorly affected my social interactions with people, because I always keep making it about myself.
Everytime when engaging in a conversation with someone, it keeps being deflected towards me and generally speaking, most people do like or want to talk about themselves to show the other party how unique or to have an interest in them but to me, it just doesn't seem fair and it's rude and very disrespectful too when you should be investing more time in listening to their story or situations instead.
And listening is a skill and a huge weakness of mine because most of my peers, my family, boss have criticize me on this. How exactly do I work on my listening skills and destroy this ego of mine and actually show interest with the other party that I'm interacting with?
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2025-06-14T07:13:57
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1lb2o1m
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
How do I stop crying so much when talking?
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Whenever I talk about anything slightly emotional, I burst into tears, and can't talk coherently anymore. Even if I calm down and try to talk again, I start crying more. And trying to 'cry it out' doesn't help because I don't stop crying, and almost pass out every time.
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2025-06-13T14:57:31
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1lai29i
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
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What was the first big step you made in regards to coming out of your shell?
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I'm a quiet person but I don't think it's by choice. I want to be able to talk and engage with people but I worry about people judging or how my voice isn't always the loudest. Or if it's just plain rude to jump into conversation. But I don't wanna waste away my youth either.
I figured I could start with looking people in the eye or even greeting people who I have talked with.
Since this is a skill I have to develop, how do I start?
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2025-06-14T07:03:42
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1lb2ih8
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
What’s the point of trying
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[F30] I moved to a new state last year with my fiance for a new start. I’m a very introverted person and I was so happy when I quickly met a friend at my job. We would eat lunch together everyday and talk about our lives and even texted outside of work. We were always laughing and joking and it made work fun. We often called each other ‘work besties.’ Since we were such good friends i figured we should hang outside of work. I invited her to get her nails done with me and she told me she prefers her work friends to stay at work. She then slowly stopped talking to me and avoiding me at work. I asked her multiple times if I did something wrong and she says no. She talks and laughs with other coworkers while ignoring me now. This really hurt me, I thought we were good friends. Someone I could consider a best friend even, we got along so well. I’ve seen so many people make friends from work I’m wondering what’s wrong with me.
I accepted that we aren’t friends anymore, but how do I move forward with future coworkers? I’m thinking I should never try to make friends at work again but it’s so hard trying to make friends anywhere else.
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2025-06-13T16:58:36
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1lal2rd
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
How to make friends with customers if that’s possible
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Hello I’m 20 and I work afternoon closing shifts at Walmart just zoning and I see people around my age all the time that I wish I was friends with I guess and I have no friends in my hometown so I was wondering if that’s even possible as a worker to make friends with a customer if so how because it’s probably awkward because you’re just there to help the customer
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2025-06-14T01:33:33
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1lawt62
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
How to stop being too heavy for people
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I don’t know what to do folks, I am young and very socially inept, haven’t had that many friendships, couple of traumas related to socializing and stuff. I think most people around me get tired, and they often tell me that exact sentence “everything feels heavy with you”, and I really am trying to change, I’ve been to therapy and taking pills and all that, but for some reason most of my friends, recently even one from a years long friendship, just tell me I’m kinda heavy to be with, I react badly to certain stuff and so on, and I don’t even know what to think, this person was like my only long lasting friend and I stopped talking to him and he hasn’t reached either.
I feel bad since this little fight we had, every day I get depressed of how much people have disliked me since a long time ago, but I really really don’t know how to change the bad things without trying to be someone I’m not.
I need to say I’m mentally ill and have a bad habit of talking too much so that might be it. Sometimes weird conceptions of what a friendship should be. Also I don’t remember very well birthdays and that sort of thing, but to be fair I forget my own birthday.
The thing that is hard about being ill and people rejecting you, it’s that you start to think you don’t really deserve that kind of love or friendship until you just cure yourself, so it’s your own fault and you should really just be better and that’s it.
I feel really lonely and often misunderstood in general and it’s getting worse every day. Being someone diagnosed with depression and anxiety, if one of the people reading this post that have mental illness and has had a history of having trouble connecting with other people could give me an advice of how to be better, would be awesome.
Sorry if the English is bad, it’s my second lenguage.
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2025-06-14T01:32:14
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1laws9v
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
How to complain to neighbors without coming off as the bad guy?
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When it gets to the point where you need to complaint to neighbors its usually when youve been bothered for too long already and its hard to not come off as pissed off. If you wait to complain then, youll just keep putting it off or theyll keep taking advantage. Whats a more proper way of communicating to upstairs neighbors about a complaint without coming off as a karen, confrontational, or the bad guy? I dont have their number and its difficult to know their schedule for me.
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2025-06-14T05:08:34
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1lb0p5t
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
How do you deal with a super loud coworker who constantly dominates the conversation and derails meetings?
|
I'm a neurodivergent person who often deals with sensory overload, especially in chaotic or overstimulating environments. At work, I try to maintain a cordial and professional relationship with everyone on my team. But there’s one coworker who constantly tests my limits.
She’s extremely talkative, and she often dominates conversations and goes off on long tangents about herself. Normally, I try to avoid one-on-one interactions with her because even reacting to her stories feels exhausting.
Recently, though, we’ve started attending more meetings together with our team lead. She interrupts constantly, cracks random (and honestly unfunny) jokes, and completely derails the conversation. Our team lead is too soft to rein her in, so the meetings end up scattered, with no clear direction or outcomes. I leave feeling mentally drained, like I spent the whole time filtering out background noise just to stay focused.
Last week I finally snapped and asked her to stay on topic and stick to the agenda. It helped a bit in smaller meetings, but in larger groups, she slips right back into her behavior. I think she knows I’m less likely to say something when more people are around.
Unfortunately, I’m going to be in a lot more meetings with her through the second half of the year, and I’m dreading it. I don’t want to come off as rude or overly confrontational, but I also don’t want to keep sacrificing my focus and energy just to tolerate the chaos.
Has anyone dealt with a situation like this? Any tips on how to handle it will be really appreciated!
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2025-06-13T19:39:50
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1lap2rm
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Good ways to critique someone else's method of working?
|
I work with a coworker for about two months now, she has been slowly irritating me with how inefficient her methods are.
At first I showed her how we all do a task. She listened well and expressed how she might do it a bit different. I am a firm believer in multiple way to get a job done as long as it isn't a sensitive task (none were). So did say as long as they get done timely and to completion then she could modify it how she needed. I assumed it was just going to be something minor like the order it was done or how it was organized. I should have asked what she had in mind. Lesson learned.
Over time I realized she would stay on dish washing for far longer than needed. She takes so long on it she doesn't have time to help with other tasks like prep and general store cleaning. It has been getting on everyone's nerves. I have not been the only one trying to help her be more efficient.
Her physical speed is fine. Its just the how that isn't. She will fill up the soap sink only. Wash the pile of dishes and place them in the empty sinks that are supposed to be filled with water and sanitizer. Then drains the soap sink to place the ones in the rince sink back over to the soap sink to then rinse them one at a time with running g water. Then does the same with the sanitation step. Drives us nuts.
Today I had it. I went up to her and did my best to be polite.
"Hey, I know you prefer washing dishes this way, but we could really use your help with other tasks as well. The dishes will get done a lot faster if you fill up the water and the sanitation sinks too."
She seemed tense but said "yeah ok."
I didnt see what she did after, I had to get back to what I was doing. But she seemed very closed off after. I have no idea if I worded myself OK. I am not used to confrontation and have been trying to learn how without sounding mean or harsh.
All other attempts have been simply "hey that can get done faster if you fill up the sinks." Which gets met with "I know, but I prefer doing this." With reminders that other things also need to be done.
I dont want to just assume lazy worker because her first week she was helping out a lot with multiple tasks. Just for the past few weeks it seems like she got stuck doing dishes in a very ineffective way and refusing feedback.
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2025-06-14T04:14:50
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1lazrtr
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
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How do you deal with avoidants?
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I'm quite a clingy person, and I like to make consistent communication with my friends, but I don't mind if they take a while to respond as long as it's not too long, let's say a week or two. Recently, I've been making friends with this girl who was introduced to me by another friend. I don't know if this information will be relevant, but we clicked in a lot of ways, and months into our friendship, I started liking her, but we established later on that we won't be getting there, but we remained close. Nothing awkward happened between the two of us, and we bonded over shared interests and problems.
I tend to overgive a lot in my relationships with friends, like giving them a free ride home and buying them food while accepting little to no effort to pay me back. She's got plenty of personal problems, so I helped her a lot and provided consistent support for her, then suddenly ghosted me. At first, she seemed to avoid me exclusively, as I knew she communicated with her other close friends. But later on, she started ghosting everyone else. I know she's active because we are friends on many social platforms. I can't help but feel used. Can't exactly cut her off completely, because I still want to be friends with her, and she owes me money she borrowed. But I can't just ignore what I felt about this, and it left me overthinking a lot.
This isn't the first time people have ghosted me, and I'm left dealing with the aftermath plenty of times. I struggle to make friends, and when the very few attempts that did succeed, I get attached fast and try my hardest not to lose them. I know I have an anxious attachment style, but how do you deal with people who keep their distance and detach a lot? Is there something that I do that pushes people away?
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2025-06-13T15:36:54
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1laj20z
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
How can I fix my broken English speaking
|
I’m gonna be honest, English is not my native language but I was able to learn it when I was a kid. I am good at reading, writing and grammar as well, but I struggle when I speak.
The sentences are always scattered and random. I always feel embarrassed, so I always try to choose random and basic sentences. But I am looking for a better way to solve this problem.
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2025-06-13T13:41:59
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1lag8nv
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
How can I talk to my racist co-worker?
|
I recently started to work as a housekeeper and there is a supervisor who has been working here for so many years. She never admitted it herself but I am sure that she is anti-immigrant. She is friendly to all Canadian workers but not towards immigrant workers. She is especially mean to me because I don't know how to defend myself. She is a sad woman with a sad life so she is projecting it to others. I don't know if the boss is anti-immigrant or not as well so what if I go to her and she doesn't do anything about it? Does anyone know how I should talk/act to my co-worker? Maybe she is trying to get a reaction out of me and I should just show 0 reaction and not talk to her? Would that help?
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2025-06-13T19:15:34
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1laohse
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
How to don’t act stupid when talking to new people?
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For some reason when I start a talk with a person I don’t know, I'm misinterpreting their words. For example yesterday on an online chat I thought that the person I was talking to is 9. And after one hour I understood that she ment that she was born 2009 (she wrote “09”, and I thought it was a typo). This ain’t the first time this happened. When someone says something I couldn’t hear I just nod and continue listening, about I'm sure that it's obvious that I don't understand anything. All this makes me feel very awkward. English isn’t my native language, so that might be the issue. I’m just curious if there is any “fix”.
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2025-06-13T15:14:44
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1laii6n
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
How do I comfort my boyfriend through text?
|
So, a lot has been happening and I don't know how to exactly comfort him. But basically, he lost all his friends, and his mom just hates him viciously. We both know why, but I don't feel the need to explain his business. But still, I just need to figure out a way to make him feel better. This has happened many times but I don't believe someone was actually there for him. So, please, someone help, I really need it. I hate to see my boyfriend in such pain. I can't be his only friend forever.
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2025-06-14T00:10:16
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1lav6ov
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
People in technical roles often run out of things to say at networking events or social gatherings. Why does this happen—even at the manager level?
|
It shows up at conferences, team dinners, training sessions — anywhere that requires small talk.
A few polite questions: “Where are you based?” “How long have you been in this field?” And then… silence. The conversation dies.
It’s not shyness. Not social anxiety. Just a sense that there’s nothing meaningful to latch onto. Especially when the other person doesn’t share similar values or ways of thinking.
This seems common among technical people — even experienced managers.
👉 Is this just how some minds are wired? Or is it a soft skill that can be developed like any other? And if so, how?
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2025-06-13T03:51:33
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1la6ee5
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Is there any way to fix a ruined friendship with a friend group that excludes me?
|
I used to be part of a friend group, but things feel completely ruined now. They always treat me like the odd one out — like I’m the "weird" one. I'm always the last to know anything, and I’m often not invited to the parties or hangouts they organize.
They even have a WhatsApp group that I'm not in. When I ask things like “Can you invite me to your group?” or “Can I come with you guys to the cafe to play console games?” they usually say no — and they use my age as an excuse.
Here’s the thing: they’re only about a year older than me. Some of them are even the same age as I am — just older by a month or two — but they still get included while I don't. So the age excuse doesn’t really make sense.
I’m not saying I’m completely innocent, and I’m not trying to say they’re terrible people either. But I honestly don’t understand what made them dislike me so much. Did I do something wrong? Or are they just seeing me the wrong way?
I’m tired of feeling left out. It’s painful to care about people who clearly don’t care about me the same way. I’m starting to wonder if I’ll always be alone in life.
How do I deal with this? Is there any way to fix something like this? Or should I just accept that they’re not real friends and move on?
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2025-06-12T23:34:38
|
1la1cfc
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Starting my first job
|
Hi everyone, I'm about to start my first corporate job and I'm feeling a bit nervous. I'm kind of awkward socially and not totally sure how to handle things like small talk, workplace etiquette, or being seen as someone who contributes without overstepping. I really want to avoid making dumb mistakes, build good relationships with coworkers, and be more visible in a positive way. If anyone has tips on surviving the first few months, being professionally “present,” and not coming off as weird or fake, I’d really appreciate it. What are some do’s and don’ts you wish you knew when you started out?
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2025-06-13T22:31:19
|
1lat3fi
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
How do I talk about my interests?
|
I've noticed that most people are not interest in knowing about my interests, so over time I learned not to talk about them. People have told me to talk about them, but I don't really know how. Am I doing it wrong? Is there some "trick" in how you present the topic that would get peoples' interest? Usually people just say "ok" or listen while I talk about it and then change subject when I'm done. Wouldn't someone who is interested ask further questions or something? Or am I misunderstanding something here?
EDIT: Please note that I am not able to reply to comments as they get instantly deleted, because my account is too "new"
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2025-06-13T22:18:28
|
1lastbb
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
my best friend of 10 years left me
|
im just wanting to write im sorry if i make no sense but it all ended over me being friends with a girl what i was not into and he thought i was and now hes refusing to talk to me and has blovked me and told me to never message him again i dont know what ive done i feel like ive wasted 10 years of my life with this guy who i thought was my best friend im now realising never really cared thinking back he never helped me he only ad a use for me when i was usefull so i guess this is a way to just get it off my c hest im sorry if you was ecpecting a funner story i just wanted to talk about how he left me cause i spoke to a girl and was friends with her hes also telling all our mutal friends to not speak to me i feel like ive just lost everyone and im just upset thanks for reading everyone.
|
2025-06-13T21:15:01
|
1larcjn
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
coworker is ignoring me - first day on the job
|
I just got a new job and im getting along with literally everyone except for one person.
he is younger than me and he completely ignores whenever i talk to him - on the first day of meeting him. I have 0 idea what happened. but this is very unwelcoming and rude.
ofc I can ignore him too but why? were supposed to work together so why should I start to act like him ?
|
2025-06-13T05:55:55
|
1la8hlu
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Need advise to ask for favors in professional settings
|
Hi
I needed an advice from working professionals in this subreddit.I am a student. I needed advice regarding how to ask for favors from people above than me. I mean, I have heard networking is a great social skill but I have trouble in that. I want to know how to ask for favors, suppose I want to convert my internship into a job or maybe I want the head of the company to refer me to somewhere else. How do I ask for this favour? I have a fear that they might politely decline my request by saying that they don't know anyone or maybe even nod yes for the moment and then forget. I also have this fear that they might not have liked my work and therefore wouldn't actually use their referral for me. I have asked the head about my performance previously and they have had good remarks about it but I feel that they said it to be kind. I also have this balance mentality that people will help me only if i give them something as in I think why will they help me, I'm not of much use to them. But i, as a student, as an intern, cannot return the favor to the same extent. Do working professionals want a return favor or are they just happy to help? Please help me navigate through this. What can I say when asking for favors?
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2025-06-13T19:55:29
|
1lapgbq
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
How I went from crippling social anxiety to extroverted, social and being complimented for my energy
|
Yes, I swear it happened. And disclaimer it took me maybe 5 years or so to have a complete turn around in my personality (although it wasn’t “on purpose” so it also took time because it wasn’t very focused). For context I moved around a lot as a kid, and for a kid that was really shy and had a lot of anxiety, it wasn’t great. For example by fourth grade I was terrified of talking to girls my age and actually sitting next to them for fear of being teased by others.
It all culminated in my last years of middle school, where I first experienced some bullying and even more isolation. My first feeling that had been brewing up for a long time was hate, I really loathed my fear and my anxiety.
However even then it took time, but by high school I wanted things to change, but starting a conversation, especially with girls that I liked was next to impossible, it’s like trying to move a boulder with just your mind.
The thing is, is that I was trying to imagine the whole conversation from the get go, and then having it, but each time I imagined the conversation I thought about all of the terrible things and embarrassments that might happen.
So I changed tactics, I decided to concentrate only and exclusively on saying Hi, and once the conversation started I would be socially forced to hold a conversation, of course, I was also unconsciously honing my ability to improvise as well.
And from there it went snowballing, little by little, until the pandemic really gave me a boost, because as I connected with my friends online, I realized (almost silly really) that other people also have fears, likes, interests, in general I humanized other people, which for me personally really helped me as well, like everyone is just going through this boat of life without even knowing wtf is going on.
Sometimes, you just have to ignore your fear and anxiety and just go through and talk, it’s actually harder to ignore your fear than to have a decent conversation.
And about what I talked about? I watched some videos on conversation topics, and as time passed I was able to refine and be better at that, mostly prioritizing topics (really asking questions) that interest me and that the other person likely likes or has done.
Also people like to have some sort of social proof about you, in a party I like to reference who invited me and how I met them, in a conference I like to reference a bit of my work or friends that are in that industry, a bit of “oh you do that I have a friend that does x quite similar” + do a stereotypical joke about that, like if it’s a particularly hard hobby or line of work crack a joke about that I always tell m) friend that trying to open the pickle jar is probably as hard as their job and so on ( I hope I explained myself here if not please let me know)
I would also suggest to practice joking!! Light hearted casual jokes that really are only meant to bring out a chuckle not really any dying of laughter kind, these are great skill to have, and practice them.
try to casually be reading the room, when someone is uncomfortable, or when they want to go perhaps, etc etc. never be to direct about it but make a light hearted joke that gives them optionality, keep in mind that people will do crazy things for the sake of politeness, like agreeing to an extremely boring conversation.
One of the cardinal sins of talking to new people is embarrassing them or making them uncomfortable, always be careful about this and switch topics up when you sense it.
I think that’s about it folks I can’t think of anything else, and really I know how social anxiety feels, it’s fucking hard, but it’s a fear, a condition and most of all a habit, the more you indulge it, the more engrained the habit is, the stronger it seems. I suggest creating hate against this fear within you, for me it helped to ignore it when I wanted to have conversations, and eventually I stopped having it as much, and I say as much because I realized that everyone has social anxiety of some sort, everyone from the biggest businessman to the most extroverted guy, social anxiety as I have come to realize is a spectrum that changes by the hour by the mood, so don’t feel ashamed, and don’t feel unique and special.
Edit:
Tips to do conversations? Ask questions and if they are personal questions offer information from you about those topics first before asking or weave it into the question. Be curious but don’t do an interrogations occasionally talk about yourself but keep it brief
|
2025-06-12T16:07:21
|
1l9qc4z
| 1 | 0 |
socialskills
|
i recently graduated high school, and I feel lonely :(
|
it's been a little over a week since I got my diploma, and i'm lonely. I only hung out with friends outside of high school a few times a school year in my younger years, which I regret. I was mentally ill in a family that's very introverted lol.
so, now that I'm a little better, I plan to hang out with my friends when I'm not working my two jobs. but...I still feel lonely.
my closest friend *always* seems to be busy :( i'm always initiating hangouts. I know she works and has a boyfriend, but sometimes she takes DAYS to respond- even if we're planning something. and when she says she's busy, she doesn't tell me when she's free or offer a postpone day.
i'm even more frustrated with my other best friend (at least from my perspective). she's been bad at responding for *months*, not just w me but with our friend group. irl she agrees to my suggestion of playing Minecraft together, but when i text her if she wants to play, she does NOT respond. I mention hanging out with her/our friend group, and she's happy at the idea, but WHENEVER we're planning she takes ages to give a "yes" or a "no", and usually only responds the day of the hangout.
she's unemployed and likes Instagram reels often, so I don't think she's *that* busy?! she's not mentally ill as far as I know, either. I dunno. she even said she'll miss me, but has not once texted me first.
my third best friend has an overbearing religious mother that won't let me or others in our friend group hang out with her, which hurts. she even lives in my neighborhood, too. it would've been perfect for us to hang out during the summer.
as for my other friends, they usually don't initiate hanging out unless I mention it. i'm starting to wonder if I was really friends with them in the first place, or if we just hung out due to close proximity.
it kinda hurts 💔 i've tried going out on my own, taking a ballet class, and doing other hobbies, but the void is still there. is this just what friendship is like after high school? did I miss the boat for having dumb adventures and silly outings with friends? everyone is just gonna get busier and busier from here..
|
2025-06-13T13:25:30
|
1lafvf0
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
I don't know what to do after arguing with my friend other than isolate myself
|
Reposting from friendshipadvice because I'd really love to hear from someone who's broken this pattern or knows how to break it:
I feel like I can't be around people when I'm sad. My friend always tells me to just stop talking about it, because thinking about it makes it worse, but this advice doesn't help me. I'm emotionally maladjusted or something, pretending to be happy and talking about video games while my life is falling apart actually feels physically painful. Sometimes I'm using a happy voice on phone calls but I'm red faced from trying not to cry and it actually gives me a headache.
We argue when I'm sad, because he doesn't want me to talk about it and I feel invalidated by that, and also pretty unloved because I always listened to him. Arguing makes me feel worse. I can't pretend to feel normal, so I just tell him I'll be back when I feel better.
It can take weeks, though. Being alone makes me feel worse. Upsetting my friend makes me feel worse. The first upset that he wanted me to stop talking about is usually something huge like a natural disaster or getting fired, so it can take a while to get my life back in order and stop feeling bad.
It just makes me feel like a dick because I always get upset when people give me the silent treatment, but I don't know what to do. What's the happy medium? If the only way I can keep friends is to bury my problems and act normal and social around them, how do I do that? How do I stop from getting headaches or crying or feeling sick?
|
2025-06-13T19:14:56
|
1laoh84
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Where does one meet people who can one day cosy up, watch a movie and the other day go out and party?
|
It seems to me that the majority of people chooses one or the other - either they're the type of person that doesn't like to go out, goes to bed at 8pm, doesn't drink etc. or the other, which is: parties a lot, almost too much, zero healthy habits...Where are the people in between? People who will care about self-improvement, try to live their lives to the fullest, be up for a movie night or go to the club, but generally stay healthy and take care of themselves, a balance of both.
I hope I'm making any sense. It's just so hard to meet these people.
|
2025-06-13T19:11:59
|
1laoeoy
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Social skills
|
“What were some key moments or techniques that actually helped you improve your social skills in real life?
I’m not just looking for generic advice like ‘be confident’ or ‘just talk more’ — I want to hear personal stories, specific mindset shifts, or techniques that made a difference for you (especially if you started from a place of anxiety or awkwardness). What changed the game for you?”
Any books, mindset frameworks, conversation tips, or behavioral routines are also welcome. I’m currently putting myself in more social situations deliberately, but I want to sharpen the how part too.”
|
2025-06-13T13:14:02
|
1lafmbr
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
going to a concert by myself
|
M26 I’m seeing a niche artist in july in chicago and no one around me knows who it is, so i’m kind of forced to go by myself. i’m not from chicago so im on the line between getting a hostel or hotel. I think if i got a hostel it’d force me to meet other people but i run the risk of meeting really scary people. I really want to make friends in chicago because i plan on moving there once i graduate. Would it be smart to do the hostel or should i just try to talk to people at the concert and hope it goes well?
|
2025-06-13T15:26:02
|
1laish6
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Feeling Left Out as a 23-Year-Old Guy. I Don’t Know How to Swim or Play Sports, and It’s Really Getting to Me
|
Hey guys, I know this is going to be a long one, but I really need to let it out and hopefully get some advice or even just a few kind words. I’ve been holding this in for a while now, and it’s starting to weigh heavily on me.
So yesterday, a friend and then one of my cousins invited me to go swimming with them. I hesitated, then ended up declining. The truth is, I did want to go. I wanted to spend some time out, have fun, laugh, and enjoy myself. But I didn't. Why? Because I'm insecure.
The thing is... I don't know how to swim. I have no idea what to do in the water — how to move my arms, how to kick properly, how to float, nothing. I’m scared I’ll just look clueless and they’ll laugh or judge me. The most I could do is just sit around in the shallow end, which feels kind of embarrassing at my age.
But this isn’t just about swimming. I don’t play any kind of sports. No football, no cricket, no tennis, no volleyball, nothing! It’s not that I don’t want to play - deep down, I do. I want to go outside, run around, kick a ball, play with the guys, and just have a good time. But the sad truth is, I don’t know how. I don’t know the rules, the basics, the techniques, literally nothing. So every time I'm invited, I end up saying no. Not because I don’t want to go, but because I feel like I’ll be judged or laughed at for not knowing things that most guys seem to have grown up doing.
Here’s some background, which I think explains a lot.
You typically learn these things as a kid, you play with your dad, your brothers, cousins, schoolmates, maybe even join an academy or sports club. But I didn’t have that.
I have no brothers, just older sisters who are quite a bit older than me, so there was always a big age gap and not much in common.
My dad was away for most of my childhood. He worked in a city far from home, and he’d only visit every 2–3 months for about two weeks. So I barely spent time with him over the past 23 years.
My cousins? All of them are 13–15 years older than me. When I was growing up, they mostly saw me as the "little kid" and didn’t involve me in their activities. To be fair, even I didn’t feel like joining them because our interests were so different due to the age gap.
As for school, I went to one in a small town. There were no sports programs, no playgrounds, no physical education. Just textbooks, lectures, and exams. That’s it.
I did have a few friends in the neighborhood, and we played a lot, but mostly running games like tag, hide and seek, and other childhood games. I was pretty active back then. We didn’t play football or cricket, mainly because we didn’t have the space. There were no playgrounds nearby, and because my dad wasn’t around, my mom was extra protective. She wouldn’t let me stay out too long or go too far from home.
So yeah... I grew up in that environment. And now, I’m a 23-year-old guy who doesn’t know how to swim or play any team sports. I don’t do any physical activities with friends, even though I want to. And honestly, most guys my age bond over things like sports or swimming — and I just sit on the sidelines, too afraid of being exposed, of someone saying “Wait, you don’t know how to play football or cricket?” or “You never learned how to swim?”
What makes it even more frustrating is that I do work out — I’m fit. But when it comes to team games, anything social and physical, I feel like I don’t belong. I want to go out with my friends and cousins and have a good time, but most of their activities involve exactly the things I never learned. So I avoid those situations altogether. I isolate myself. And honestly, it’s starting to eat away at me.
I just feel so behind, and I don’t know how to catch up. I want to break this cycle. I want to have fun like everyone else. But I don’t even know where to begin. And admitting all this? It just feels shameful.
If anyone’s been in the same boat or has any advice, I’d really appreciate hearing from you. Thanks for reading.
TL;DR:
I’m a 23-year-old guy who’s physically fit but never learned how to swim or play any sports growing up due to family dynamics, lack of opportunities, and a protective environment. Now, I feel left out and ashamed whenever I get invited to activities like swimming or games because I don't know the basics and fear being judged. I want to change and start participating, but I feel stuck and don’t know how or where to begin. Just needed to let this out and hear from anyone who can relate or offer advice.
|
2025-06-13T12:14:59
|
1laeeb8
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
How do I deal with an annoying friend of a friend?
|
I’d like to preface this by saying that this is happening online in my Discord server.
A year and change ago, I made a friend through a mutual. We’ve gotten along fantastically and I want to keep the new friendship. The problem is that a few months ago, he added one of his friends to our server. This is the type of dude that can talk for hours without adding substance to a conversation. Sometimes when he’s not babbling on like this, he’s a contrarian to anything and everything. Calling him out results in another ramble about whatever you just said about. This person also joins and conveniently forgets our names, and forgets that we know our mutual friend’s name. This results in a freak out every time he joins and hears us casually talk to each other.
Another little thing is how he’ll talk down on us. I’ve played The Binding of Isaac before on console. I know what I’m doing for the most part and I understand what a lot of the items do. I told him this when we played it with our mutual, but he talked to me like I’ve never touched a video game in my life. He was explaining controls and items despite telling him repeatedly that I’ve played before, just not on PC. I was also playing with a controller so no issues with actual input.
I don’t know how to bring up these thoughts with our mutual. They’re bros and some kind of ultimatum is not the direction I want to go with this. All I know is that I will avoid my own chat and even some plans when I see the name in the VC. It’s not worth the headache some nights.
|
2025-06-13T17:40:55
|
1lam5nb
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
How do I stop being afraid of sharing my own interests
|
I feel I’ve learned to spend a lot of the time in a conversation asking the other person many questions and following up with more questions. This is good and gets people talking about themselves, and I rarely have awkward silences with people.
When I have no more questions though, I can’t think of interesting things to tell about myself. When pressed on my interests I either become embarrassed and red in the face or very afraid that I’ll be made fun of. I feel this makes me come across as very boring. I’ve been on dates with about 40 people and second dates without about 15% of them. No third dates. I think less than 5 of those people know I play the flute, for example. It feels embarrassing.
It’s weird that my conversations can be without awkward pauses but yet remain very devoid of things worthwhile because I don’t feel true connections are made, and I’m afraid I’m just interrogating people instead of actually interjecting with relatable things to what they’re saying because I’m afraid I’ll come across as weird
|
2025-06-13T09:44:53
|
1labtpd
| 1 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Conversation skills, any tips?
|
Not that it’s an excuse, but I grew up as an only child and didn’t have my parents around much. I think because of that, I’ve always felt a bit behind socially. I struggle with conversations,not just small talk, but knowing how to react when someone shares news, or how to keep the flow going without it feeling forced.
Most of the time, I end up saying something random or quickly throwing out a question to fill the silence. Afterward, I just feel stupid and overthink everything I said. I wish I knew how to have a “normal” conversation like other people seem to do so easily.
Does anyone else feel like this? Is this something that gets better with time or practice? I’d love any advice, reassurance, or even just to hear that I’m not alone in this.
Thanks in advance.
|
2025-06-13T04:25:18
|
1la704s
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Will talking to a woman at a bar, as a man, always come off as flirting?
|
I think i want to go to bars more often guys. I don't have the close friends i want and idk what to do. I'm taken, but i feel like if i talk to women at bars, it'll be taken as flirting. Is this true?
|
2025-06-13T16:51:38
|
1lakwfv
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Getting this guy to stop making racist jokes?
|
Well so uh basically i have this friend who always makes these racist "jokes" like talking about how indians are taking our jobs, saying the n word, and calling me a stupid ch\*nk. I already told him i dont find this funny but he says "why are you smiling though", and whenever I say that its not okay to say he thinks im joking with him when im being serious. How do I make them take me seriously and them to stop?
|
2025-06-14T01:35:43
|
1lawupr
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
I keep getting snubbed in conversations by one person in my husband’s family
|
At family gatherings, I’m often in a small group with my husband, his cousin, and the cousin’s wife (we’re all mid 30s). Whenever I say something, the cousin’s wife responds about what I said, but only speaks to my husband, not to me. No eye contact, no acknowledgment. Nothing. Just a weird habit of cutting me out while technically responding to my words.
She doesn’t do this to anyone else. I’m pretty sure she doesn’t like me. I’m not looking for friendship. However, this is quite rude in my opinion and I’m just trying to be civil so as not to cause issues with the family.
What’s the best social response here? Do I ignore it, call attention to it somehow, or redirect in the moment? She’s not the kind of person I could pull aside to talk one on one. Looking for advice on how to handle this kind of subtle exclusion without making it awkward.
|
2025-06-13T10:46:52
|
1lacsi1
| 0 | 1 |
socialskills
|
Struggling to articulate myself, anyone else experience this?
|
Hi everyone,I’m wondering if anyone else relates to this. I get really anxious when I have to explain things, especially when it comes to delivering information clearly or talking about complex topics. I have so many thoughts in my head, but when I try to express them, it’s like I freeze or can’t get the words out properly.
I’m fine with small talk and casual conversation, but when it comes to actually explaining something, whether it’s in class, at work, or just trying to express an idea, I really struggle. It makes me feel a bit behind or less capable, even though I know I understand things internally.
Does anyone else experience this? Any advice, tips, or book recommendations on how to improve clarity, processing, or communication under pressure would be really appreciated. Just trying to figure out how to get better at this.
Thanks in advance 💛
|
2025-06-13T04:22:30
|
1la6ycr
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Friend group or social butterfly?
|
I have a "friend group" of 7 people. I realized that they are closer to themselves than I am closer to any of them. I sometimes feel very left out. I had a very close friend in that group, who has now started putting distance. And she used to bad mouth me to the others in the group. The overall energy is awkward and weird when I hang out with them. It makes me wonder if I should quit trying to build a close connection with anyone and just start making casual friendships with people outside my friend circle. What should I do?
|
2025-06-13T15:35:49
|
1laj13v
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
wanting to hang out with someone but regretting it the second we have plans
|
It’s so weird because I can think like ”today I want to hang out with this person” but literally the absolute second after asking them on text I regret it, getting a little anxious. Why is this
|
2025-06-13T07:56:37
|
1laaa49
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Best friend has new friend
|
I am best friend with this friend. We basically grew up together. Then we started working together. We met and formed this 4 person friend group with anothet 2 coworkers whom we vibe with. However, my friend started to get really close with one of them. To the point that they started making plans together without me. Now whenever we hang out with all 4 of us, it's mostly my friend and the other guy talking or joking with each other. And I sort up feel invisible in the group.
It doesn't help that this coworker is super talkative and extroverted. Meanwhile I'm very shy.
Now I have become very insecure and jelous. My best friend barely hang out with me anymore. Also we work together so I have to basically hang out with them everyday at work. And I am just full of jelousy and miserable.
I dont know what to do tbh. I know its normal to have other friends. But it kinda saddened me with the way things turned out.
|
2025-06-13T15:15:34
|
1laiiy9
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Struggling with communication and confidence as a fresher — need advice!
|
I'm a fresher currently trying to get a job, but every time I have to face an interview, things go downhill. My communication gets messy — I end up stuttering or saying things like “ha, da, cha,” my voice becomes really low, my forehead starts sweating, and my legs literally start shaking.
And it's not just during interviews — even when I'm talking to strangers in person, I face the same issues. It’s like my brain freezes and I can't speak properly.
I know good communication and fluent English are really important, especially for getting a job and building confidence. But I don't know where to start or how to overcome this fear.
Has anyone else dealt with this? What helped you improve your confidence, communication skills, and spoken English? Any tips, apps, habits, or daily practices you’d recommend?
Really need your guidance. 🙏
|
2025-06-13T15:06:03
|
1laia64
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
I Thought the World Was My Enemy
|
Lately, I’ve started noticing something subtle but powerful.
As I’ve begun to engage more in what I would call “normal,” healthier human relationships, I’ve realized that many people around me have always lived with a kind of emotional ease I never knew.
It’s not that they’re perfect, or that life has been easy for them—but they seem to trust that others are generally kind. They move through the world without bracing for harm all the time.
For a long time, I didn’t even know that was possible.
I’ve always kept a safe distance from people. It felt necessary—because of past experiences that left me feeling unsafe, unseen, or hurt.
But recently, I’ve been slowly learning that people can be gentle.
That not every interaction has to be measured, calculated, or defended against.
That maybe… I’ve been living from an old wound, long after the danger passed.
And this shift I’m feeling—it’s not just about learning social skills.
It’s something deeper. A kind of emotional healing.
A re-learning of how to be with others, without losing myself.
It’s quiet, but it’s real.
And I think it’s the beginning of something important.
Leaving this here as a record for myself.
And if this feels a bit outside the usual “specific skills” category—I apologize . But sometimes, the most essential social skill isn’t eye contact or small talk.
Sometimes, it’s simply learning to believe the world might not be your enemy.
|
2025-06-12T22:38:03
|
1la03ft
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
What do you find hardest about meeting people while traveling?
|
I’ve been solo traveling a bit and one thing I still find tough is meeting new people. I want to, but sometimes I just don’t know how to start or it feels awkward.
I’m really curious what others experience with this. What’s the hardest part for you when it comes to connecting with strangers abroad? Is it the first step? Language barrier? Not knowing where to meet people? Or something else completely?
Would love to hear what you all think. I feel like we all go through this in different ways.
|
2025-06-13T10:55:36
|
1lacxqu
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Je n'arrive pas à discuter avec autrui .
|
**Salut,** Je suis quelqu’un d’introverti. J’ai des amis et je m’entends bien avec eux à l’école, mais je ne les vois jamais en dehors de ce cadre. Mon problème, c’est que je ne sais pas discuter quand je me retrouve seul avec l’un d’eux. J’ai du mal à tenir une conversation : je ne sais pas de quoi parler, comment réagir, ni comment relancer. J’envie les gens qui arrivent à parler naturellement, à rire et à être à l’aise sans effort. Ce que je cherche, ce n’est pas de simplement parler des centres d’intérêt de l’autre à chaque fois. J’aimerais juste pouvoir discuter tranquillement à deux, de façon simple et naturelle, sans avoir à constamment "chercher un sujet".
Prenons un exemple : quand je sors avec un ami à la bibliothèque, même si lui essaie de combler les silences, je n’arrive pas à discuter normalement de toute la journée. C’est un problème étrange, je sais
|
2025-06-13T10:41:29
|
1lacpcq
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
People have issues with “-“??
|
For context, I’ve had a few friends get upset I used - at the end of a sentence. An example,
“oh dang—“ “okay—“ “alrighty—“ “sorry i’m a spammer—“
And i’ve seen some discourse online about it but not enough to understand
I personally use it as if I am speaking and it communicates like a quick message, or a bit of an higher ending tone of voice. I just don’t understand why people hate it😭
|
2025-06-13T23:09:02
|
1latx2t
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
I feel annoying and that the people I'm talking to only tolerate me
|
Ik its in the head about my self worth but ever since I was a child I was always ignored by my family and peers, it feels like I never say the right thing and I suck at meeting people it feels like I do all the wrong things it's like Idk how to talk to people sorry
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2025-06-12T18:10:59
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1l9tige
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Social confidence always up and down
|
I don’t know what it is but some days I will just be feeling so confident in myself, going out of way to start conversation and connect with people, it just feels effortless. Then some days I will feel so insecure and down about myself (looks and/or personality) that just a simple “hey how are you” is so difficult to do I tend to avoid people. It usually lasts 2-3 days each way. Does anyone else feel this way? Is it worth talking to my doctor about SSRI’s? I’m just so confused and sick and tired of the insecure days please let me know if you have any idea what this may be. Please give me tips on how to stay in the confident zone lol
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2025-06-13T00:46:34
|
1la2v3s
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
People seem to hurry away when I'm around. What's the deal?
|
I'll be shopping in a grocery store, and people will "flee" the area immediately if I happen to stop to grab something next to them (or even in the same aisle). I'll be sitting on a packed bus and there's an open seat across the aisle from me- but everyone *has* to sit somewhere else. I'll be with a friend or relative and people will talk with me fine, but if I see them by myself, they ignore me.
What's the deal here? I admit, I don't enjoy small talk, but I'm never rude to people
|
2025-06-12T22:54:10
|
1la0gf3
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Should I apologize?
|
I am a female engineer and an introvert. I work for a company with a demanding corporate culture that pushes employees hard to challenge each other. I have no problem with challenging and get along great with my line manager, but my functional manager believes challenging is beating you down with factual fallacies and twisting words - on the very of gaslighting. On one topic, he has been relentless for days. During a meeting with him and a peer I was explaining my position and he interrupted me and using a demeaning tone, began berating my logic. My gut reaction took over and in a sharp tone I said - please, let me finish. I regretted it, but the meeting continued. My husband says there is no reason to apologize and the company encourages pushy people so I should not feel bad about pushing back. Open to other opinions and welcome advice. Thank you.
|
2025-06-12T19:04:16
|
1l9uwia
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
How do I keep a conversation flowing?
|
At times, the conversation flows well, and then suddenly, we run out of things to say. The small talk becomes bland, with one-word answers or quick responses that lead to silence between us. I’ve started talking to many people to improve my small talk skills, but I tend to come across as intimidating, which often leads them to quiet down. This puts me in a position where I feel like I have to carry the conversation, even though I'm still working on my skills.
I usually ask them about themselves, their passions, hobbies, and what they've been up to, trying to keep them engaged in talking about their experiences. I find it quite challenging to consciously smile and make facial expressions that match what I'm saying; I have to focus very hard on that. However, I've noticed that when I encourage people to tell stories and I exaggerate my facial expressions and gestures, they respond positively. Sounds like “oh!” “Really?!” and “No way!” seem to help keep them engaged, and I've realized many people enjoy thinking of themselves as great storytellers.
**So, back to my main question: how do I keep the conversation flowing after it dies out?**
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2025-06-12T23:23:05
|
1la13bp
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Declining a social invite after saying yes when more details have come out?
|
A relatively close friend invited me to a party on a Friday sort of out of town. At first she asked if I was free that Friday after work and I said yeah im free. Then she said okay lets meet at 10pm. My days usually start at 5am and 10pm is way too late to go out for me. Maybe on a Saturday but not a Friday. She works a freelance/designer job with her hours all over the place if this is relevant information. I was assuming we would meet at 6-7pm and onwards at most. How do i back out without hurting anyones expectations?
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2025-06-12T23:55:11
|
1la1rwu
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
How to stop caring?
|
So I decided to become a content creator, and I knew I was going to put myself out there with possibility of my school finding me. Currently I barely have 250 followers on TikTok and only have like 40 on Twitch. However, start of summer break, I realized some school classmates have started to follow me. Currently there are probably over 20 fucking followers from my school and my nerves are on. I want to note I had a past TikTok with 10k followers, but my irls back then found me at around 5k followers. I know followers shouldn't define anything, but it is so embarrassing because I was expecting them to find me at around a higher follower count. The content I also post is the pinnacle of cringe in the gaming scene so that adds onto this burden 😭
|
2025-06-13T06:34:57
|
1la934y
| 0 | 0 |
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