subreddit
string | title
string | text
string | created_utc
string | id
string | alexithymia
int64 | adhd_risk
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socialskills
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How to befriend coworkers?
|
I'm not sure how to befriend coworkers or even get on a small talk basis with them. Most of them I don't even know their names, or I do because I heard other people say their name, but I've never addressed them by their name. Is it weird to ask? I literally overthink everything socially. It leaves me so lonely
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2025-06-18T01:40:43
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1le4y9g
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
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Am I the problem?
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I (m15) am in high school and I have a lot of trouble making friends. I feel like everyone now wants nothing to do with socializing and won’t even go out with the friends they already have, let alone someone they don’t even know. Every time I try to talk to someone they just look at me like a deer in the headlights and answer with the shortest reply they can think of then go back to watching reels. What am I supposed to do? Just to be clear my direct question is how do I make friends and talk to people without seeming awkward?
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2025-06-17T23:03:52
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1le1oeo
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
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What does it mean when someone sends memes but doesn't respond to yours?
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There's this person who regularly sends me memes about something we share in common and sometimes they're not even that funny but I still respond.
But then when I send similar stuff they leave me on seen. It's definitely not that what I send is unfunny considering it's along the same lines of humor and ny other friends think it's all hilarious. I understand not everyone has to respond or react but it just makes me not want to share stuff.
Is it a sign that they don't like what I send?
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2025-06-18T09:31:39
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1lecrlq
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
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How to differentiate being bullied or mocked or aggressive teasing?
|
Maybe it’s me overthinking because I cant tell if someone is trying to make friends or just want to get a good laugh at me. I sometimes genuinely cant differentiate both and I don’t know how to respond to these kind of things without crashing out or being upset.
So what are your definition or how do you differentiate all of these? Is it something to be taken serious or personal or can it be brush off as a joke? And what are ways to cope or response or actions to prevent or lower its occurrence?
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2025-06-18T03:28:21
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1le71qb
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
unfriending friends
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is it valid that I want to unfriend on social media my shs friends? they haven't done anything bad to me but I have this feeling a lot time ago that their energy is clinging to me, and it's not a good energy, it feels like bad vibes
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2025-06-18T08:58:18
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1lec9yf
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Do you think is possible to have a social media account, that you use as a gallery, and keep yourself selfvalidated?
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Do you think is possible to have a social media account, that you use as a gallery, and keep yourself selfvalidated?
So, private account, posting content, but without looking likes, comment, etc?
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2025-06-18T08:34:29
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1lebxuy
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Why would girl make eye contact with stranger guy whom he never ever met ?
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It happened with me in college, when I was sitting on college bench and girl entering class made eye contact like staring , that too for two times , second one after few minutes , and what if I do the same for longer time or initiate conversation, is it is comfortable for girl ?
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2025-06-18T18:52:31
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1lep9tv
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
I notice a friend cursing at me behind my back, is he really a friend
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I walked into the classroom, and heard this freind (friend A) calling me a motherfu*ker to another one of my friend (friend B).
I don't know what they were talking about, as I didn't pursue the matter any further, because i didn't know how to react.
I have never cursed someone behind there back so i dont know what's the right response is.
But now weeks later, i still can't get that incident out of my head, is it normal for friends(or people you consider friends) to talk badly about you behind your back?
I want to learn whats the right social response to this situation.
And how to deal with Conflict in social situations.
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2025-06-18T03:32:26
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1le74k2
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Teenagers (gen Z) needs to learn about social manners
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One thing i have noticed is that boys and girls age 14 to 18, seem to struggle with giving adults a handshake. I met two 15-16 year old girls who were listening to music, i asked if i could sit down and they said yes.
I said "nice to meet you girls" one of them grabbed my hand, the other said "i don't understand why we should shake hands with adults". I said "because it's a hint of respect your friend shaked my hand so why won't you?".
Then she said "that's a stupid thing to say" so i decided to end it, by saying "young lady your parents need to teach you about manners". Then i reached out my hand to her friend once more, and she grabbed my hand again and said "goodbye". THAT'S what i call manners her friend was a egocentric narcissist.
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2025-06-18T20:17:24
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1lereyg
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
How do I improve professional communication with senior executives?
|
I am a ghostwriter at a tech company and am encountering communication challenges with one of the executives. I need to improve my professional communication and collaboration with this individual to ensure smoother workflow and obtain necessary approvals for content.
Currently, this executive is often unresponsive or provides terse replies, which creates significant challenges in meeting deadlines and securing timely sign-offs for articles. For instance, due to a lack of response and impending deadlines, I once submitted an article without his direct sign-off, which strained our working dynamic.
Specifically, what steps or strategies can I employ to improve my ability to initiate and maintain responsive professional communication with a busy senior executive, especially given my preference for more direct, focused interactions?
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2025-06-17T21:44:25
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1ldztwk
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
How does one become more funny/enjoyable to be around? Is it possible without “forcing it?”
|
I’m friends with a guy I met recently and everywhere he goes it’s like no one can breathe because they’re laughing so hard, doesn’t matter who you are. He doesn’t have to try. He makes quick, witty,clever observations about his surroundings whether it’s people nearby, the place we’re at, past events, whatever. He acts things out, he frequently and effortlessly uses clever call back humor, he tells stories in a fun in an engaging way, he’s also really caring and makes people feel comfortable. It’s like everywhere he goes, he allows people to relax and have a good time through his harmless but genuine and clever banter. It is genuinely entertaining to be in this man’s presence 99% of the time. I have only met a couple of other people in my entire life that have this kind of energy. It’s really cool to watch and be a part of.
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2025-06-17T04:01:55
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1lddn2y
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
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what are some signs a friendship should end?
|
I have this guy friend, let's call him Chris n I've been noticing I've been getting really irrated at Chris lately let me explain.
we've been friends for a year now almost n one thing about our friendship I've noticed it there isn't really any deep connection n the vibes have been off lately.
for me a friendship is someone you can be with have a goodtime n understand each other unless I have it wrong.
now with Chris I feel like we're on different sides of a wall screaming to hear each other.
recently he's decided to become a "nonchalant" white boy in not a good way n he might turn for the worse.
basically whenever I ask him smth or I want to rant about smth he doesn't invest into the conversation rather always saying okay, I see, I understand n at this point it doesn't feel like he's js bad at responding I mean I told him about changing my surname maybe in the near future n he said "sorry I don't have an opinion on that" which I get but at the same time would it kill him to just invest into the conversation like after he didn't say anything, n we were hanging out w this guy after I was talking to Chris about something the guy did n he js didn't respond at all n I said it a few times...I've noticed he does that wether I give him advice, we text etc he either doesn't respond or take me seriously n if in lucky enough he'll say okay I see n it pisses me off.
I honestly don't know what to do about this it's confusing to me n I've tried talking to my other two friends n they find it odd n also don't know what to so about it atm...
I've known him for like a said a year but I honestly don't feel like the energy is there anymore Its like I'm js there to entrain him.
I don't want to leave him but I feel like he wouldn't take me serous of I talk to him n even if I did I wouldn't know what to say so I'm really stuck..
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2025-06-17T18:21:30
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1lduorf
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
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Can I dislike someone for no reason?
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I had tryouts in a competitive esports team and one member simply annoys me for some reason. I just have negative vibes from him, the way he speaks or tone of his voice, not sure. We had a discussion about it together. He says he's not angry, he's not negative and has no issues with me (didn't even know I feel this way before I raised my dissatisfaction). But I simply feel in a negative environment with him and it's distracting.
Do we just not vibe or I need to get used to person's attitude, tone of their voice? Maybe it's my problem, not sure.
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2025-06-17T13:31:17
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1ldn7cr
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
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How do I build rapport with somebody who doesn't like me?
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There's an exec at work who responds very slowly and tersely when we work on a project. We don't have sharef interests. How do I build rapport with somebody in this situation?
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2025-06-17T22:01:52
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1le092x
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
How can I stop being so slow at processing things
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I feel so mentally slow in everyday life. Whenever I have to talk to someone, my brain just… freezes. I can barely articulate what I want to say. Everything comes out messyy, I stutter, I stop mid-sentence because I lose track of my thoughts and it’s honestly embarrassing. It’s not even that I dont try. I do. I try to make an effort to sound coherent, to participate in conversations, but nothing I say ever feels elaborate or constructive. Someone tells me something and my mind goes blank and I never know what to say, how to respond, how to keep the conversation going. I always end up just nodding or saying some basic one word reply. I know it’s maybe because I don’t go out much and I don’t have any friends, but it’s getting to the point where my family constantly points it out. They always ask me why don’t you understand things or why I am so slow. What’s funny is that I’ve never struggled academically. I literally have a math degree. I can do complex problem solving just fine. But when it comes to basic everyday life like following instructions or reacting to things quickly or having a normal conversation, I’m slower than everyone else around me. I don’t know how to fix this
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2025-06-16T16:56:36
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1lcy4xc
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
I messed up on my English presentation
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I'm 17 and I struggle much with presenting , this one was one of the worst. This was my final project, and I practiced everything but than I went up and I messed so bad and I was shaking and shattering so much, it felt like everyone was staring at me. I started not looking my lines and just went fast. I talked about it with my friend and it felt like she didn't understand how it felt. I feel extremely embarrassed. How can I do better and for this to stop happening
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2025-06-17T15:31:38
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1ldq7pc
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Improving a relationship with an important exec who doesn't like me
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I've been working in marketing for a tech company for 3 years. Part of my job is ghostwriting for the execs. It generally goes well—it's a nice company with smart, kind, helpful people—except with one exec (brilliant guy who founded the company). He doesn't like me. He doesn't answer me half as much as he does my boss, and when he does, it's terse. I've done things to piss him off, like submit a ghostwritten article to a publication before he signs off (in desperation because of his lack of response/deadlines). I need to fix this relationship but don't know where to start. I'm not charismatic, I'm introverted, I'm not good at group dynamics but am generally fine with one-on-one or small groups. I don't follow sports, I don't sing karaoke, I don't drink, I'm just a geeky old organic gardener and writer. Any advice is appreciated!
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2025-06-17T19:39:25
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1ldwpl6
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Should I ask my language partner to meet up? If so, how?
|
I'm not sure where to ask this question, so I'll just ask it here. I (25M) want to ask my language partner (23F) if she wants to meet up and have a language exchange in real life. We’ve texted a lot and had two phone calls that went well. We live pretty close to each other and I never practiced my target language in real life before. I'm debating if I should ask her on the call we have planned for tomorrow, send a message another time, or if I just shouldn't ask at all because I'm not sure if she's going to say yes or no.
I'm a little anxious to ask because of the feeling that if she says no or is hesitant then it will be awkward. We also don’t know what each other looks like (should I ask to do a video call before?). I don't know how to ask her or how to bring it up in a call. How should I go about this? Should I ask her on a call or in text or just not at all?
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2025-06-17T18:57:40
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1ldvmct
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Afraid to cause drama at work.
|
There was a similar post to this about only being around drama at work and trying to avoid it.
I'm always scared about accidentally causing drama at work.
I only started this job 6 months ago so if I ever tell a boss that this coworker told me to do this or this other boss told me it was okay I get scared that I'm causing drama.
I have some co-workers that I confide in and tell them things about my life or sometimes I talk about the people at work but I make sure that I do it in the nicest most supportive way I can.
I almost over hype some coworkers to other coworkers if I bring up their names because I'm scared if I say any slight negative thing about them it means I'm starting gossip.
It makes it hard because I can never be fully transparent with coworkers. Like I can't say "I'm having trouble with my co-worker we try and work together but it never seems to work" because I'm scared it'll sound like I'm talking bad about my coworker.
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2025-06-17T22:26:18
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1le0tsj
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Seeking Strategies for Improving Professional Communication with Senior Executives
|
I am a ghostwriter at a tech company and am encountering communication challenges with one of the executives. I need to improve my professional communication and collaboration with this individual to ensure smoother workflow and obtain necessary approvals for content.
Currently, this executive is often unresponsive or provides terse replies, which creates significant challenges in meeting deadlines and securing timely sign-offs for articles. For instance, due to a lack of response and impending deadlines, I once submitted an article without his direct sign-off, which strained our working dynamic.
I am introverted and tend to be more effective in one-on-one or small group settings than in larger group dynamics. I am looking for specific, actionable strategies to enhance my social skills in the context of executive communication and professional rapport-building.
Specifically, what steps or strategies can I employ to improve my ability to initiate and maintain responsive professional communication with a busy senior executive, especially given my preference for more direct, focused interactions?
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2025-06-17T21:41:12
|
1ldzr4w
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Breaking out of "Serious" mode.
|
So the last 5 years I've been turtled working on my craft, cutting bad habits, tooka break from a lot of "fun". I have finally FINISHED and are seeing the fruits of my labor blossom! But noooow...I've been closed off for so long that I haven't met any new people or friends other than work. Very nervous but I feel like my social skills are so off right now. All my conversations are always deep and meaningful, but casual and playful conversations have fallen off tremendously. It's making me nervous when I want to lighten up the situation. I don't exactly know where to start to get my "fun" back with people. My fun back then was doing a bunch of "degen" activities. People at work say they love me and when they get a chance, they'll hop on the opportunity to team up, but outside of work it just feels different?
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2025-06-17T17:45:19
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1ldtq02
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
How can I be more aware of my actions when I'm 'in the moment'?
|
TLDR: I (15F) am a loud extrovert. I convos, I often get caught up in my emotions, and sometimes blurt out inconsiderate things. I only realise I've done something wrong long after the conversation, and I'm unable to apologise. Now, my friends have started being more dismissive of me.
I don't want to be cast out the friend group because of this. Right now, I've resorted to staying quiet on convos so I avoid hurting others. But this takes away all my actual personality. I want to maintain my extrovert self while still maintaining my self awareness. How can I work towards that?
--
For the longest time, I (15F) have always noticed I tend to have times where I suddenly present rude, condescending, or selfish remarks/attitudes towards those around me. It's gotten to the point where recently, many of my friends, including those closest to me, have gossiped about their issues with me amongst themselves. They also have started acting quite dismissive towards me, presenting a clear preference towards their other friends.
While I recognise my faults, I only seem to notice them long after the moment. I can't seem to think before I speak. When I'm in the middle of a conversation, discussion, etc., I don't *have* the time to think deeply on my next response, otherwise that just ruins the momentum of the conversation. For me, my only two options in a convo are to chat or quit.
Chatting means I get myself seen more, and possibly, slowly, re-accepted into the group, but i'm more likely to blurt out those things. Quitting means I simply sit back, shut up, and let everyone else take the spotlight. In this secondary scenario, everyone is happier. Because I'm not part of it. Because I've become a background character.
I don't want to resort to the latter. It means I need to change who I am, water down my personality. I'm not one to be dead silent. I want to be social, I want to be loud, I want to be known. I want my presence to be notable, but most of all -- I want it to be POSITIVE!!
But it's so hard to do any of that, no matter how hard I try, because once I'm in the spotlight, I lose all sense of awareness and mess everything up.
So how do I continue being the snappy extrovert that I am, while still juggling that self awareness in the mix?
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2025-06-17T21:29:09
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1ldzgu8
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
i need help with this
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one of my classmates keeps talking. even during lessons. i need a way how to make him shut up because every time i nicely ask him he gets mad for some reason. i cant stand him but hes causing me to actually tweak out. any help?
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2025-06-17T21:29:03
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1ldzgrk
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Why did this random girl mock me at the national exam break?
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So this happened during a break at the national multi-subject test (kind of like SATs in my country). I was sitting in the hallway with a guy I know from my village. Nearby, there was a group of about 3 guys and 2-3 girls, probably from the same school or lyceum.
I wasn’t interacting with them at all — just sitting quietly, wiping my face a bit because I was mentally drained from two exams in a row.
Suddenly I hear one of the girls say (loudly enough for me to hear):
“Look, he’s sitting there crying! Go ask him if he knows physics!”
I was a bit stunned. I didn’t even look in their direction. Just acted like I didn’t hear it. But I did. And it stuck with me.
Thing is — I looked better than anyone there. Dressed clean, stylish, calm. Didn’t give off any “weird” vibes. I was minding my own business. I wasn’t awkward or trying to get attention. Just tired and sitting down.
The guys in her group didn’t really react — they didn’t laugh or support her. It was just her, trying to sound cool or funny, I guess?
So my question is:
Why the hell did she do that?
Why mock someone completely unprovoked, someone who didn’t do or say a single word to you?
Was she trying to look cool in front of her group? Did I trigger something in her just by looking calm and dressed well? Or was I just an easy target because I wasn’t part of their “clique”?
I didn’t react — and I’m glad I didn’t — but it still bugs me. What was going on here, socially or psychologically
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2025-06-17T13:48:33
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1ldnlrq
| 0 | 1 |
socialskills
|
Looking for Friends
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Hey , guys I am looking over here to make some international friends. I am currently pursuing my bba degree and actively involved in various organizations like Hult Prize , social clubs and so on.
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2025-06-17T17:08:42
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1ldsrc9
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Im sick and tired of texting all day because they never stop texting me what can i do
|
ive had discussions with my friends on how burnt out i am about texting. because you answer one then theres another one and then it's never just one friend it's a lot of them. I've had to text so much my hands hurt. My boyfriend got mad at me because I go away from my phone for four hours every day but I cannot stand texting all day. do people ever do things irl? read? draw? watch movies without their phones. I feel so guilty for ignoring texts for hours but man i miss when my phone was dry and I coiuld just do the things i wanted to. But you cannot ignore texts wihtout people getting mad at you. f
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2025-06-17T04:50:05
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1ldeh0y
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
how do you ask 2 people to hang out, when they’re best friends?
|
idk if im making sense, i want to contact them separately, but not make it seem like i want one more than the other?
its a silly question but id rather ask reddit than ai tbh
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2025-06-17T16:24:08
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1ldrkxn
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
How to stop being scared of friends reactions
|
Hi all,
My best friend proposed a few weeks ago about a concert that her and another friend could attend (no one major or a massive event) that’s happening this week. In all honestly I wasn’t interested as I only like two songs that they play. I agreed verbally to go but just have been busy so didn’t buy tickets.
I’ve been stressed recently and life plans have changed and I need to save up for accommodation and to be honest I don’t want to spend over £50 on something I don’t really want. By my tone of messages I made it obvious that I wasn’t interested (maybe I should’ve been more direct) in going.
She messaged me today if I had got my tickets and I said along the lines with I don’t want to spend the money now as I’m trying to save etc. she automatically went angry saying I waited for her to buy hers (I don’t understand why she can’t go alone ?) which wasn’t my intention! I assumed she was going as well with another girl. That I’m happy to go to the cinema & get food with her (I pay for my own ticket and food, sometimes often paying for hers & I have bought her 100£s worth of stuff in the past). And that my partner is a paedophile and I happily spend time with him, he is not one & I am a victim of childhood sexual abuse so touchy topic.
Maybe I should’ve been more direct with her (I find it hard to be) but I’m terrified that she’ll kick off with me and break off the friendship. How can I be more direct with people I’m close with and not to be scared of their reactions ?
TIA
Edit: I found a ticket on Viagogo and bought it. Rather do that then have an argument
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2025-06-17T20:05:37
|
1ldxdog
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Is this a hurtful way to end a friendship ?
|
I sent the following text to a friend
“ i am not comfortable with this relationship anymore. I am not able to meet your expectations for friendship. I hope things work out for you, I truly wish you well”
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2025-06-16T23:56:41
|
1ld8q9l
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Thinking about Jaunty’s social skills course, is it worth it?
|
Has anyone here taken a [Jaunty.org](http://Jaunty.org) course in the last year or so?
I came across it while searching for a good social skills program. it looks promising, and some of the reviews are really good, but I’d love to hear from someone who’s done it recently.
I’m in a pretty small state, so the online option is my only route. Curious if it holds up compared to the in-person version.
Appreciate any honest feedback, good, bad, whatever. Just want the real thing.
Thanks!
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2025-06-17T19:22:49
|
1ldwaiy
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Uncertain about offensive comment from co-worker - help please
|
\[UPDATE BELOW\]
So recently I've been going through a slump in my work and my performance deteriorated so I've been struggling with the shame and insecurity that comes with that even though I'm really trying my best to do what I have to do.
In one of the calls where I usually zone out in, one of my teammates (the project manager that was facilitating the call), who usually is very professional and "nice" to everyone in the team, asked me if I had anything to contribute and when I answered that no I don't, she chuckled and said something really quickly and ended the call. At the moment I wasn't sure what she said, but a short while later it registered with me is that she responded to me with "News flash". I was puzzled at first because she never made sarcastic remarks before, but also because she never showed signs of being unhappy with me.
I have social anxiety, and PTSD from passed bullying, and I was already dealing with so much shame for my bad performance, so I'm torn, should I confront her about it because I'm traumatized from having someone walk all over me and me not reacting and enabling them by not responding, or should I ignore it because I'll just give her more power by showing her how much her snide comment hurt me?
============
Update:
I ended up confronting my teammate about what i heard her say, and she explained that I actually misheard and that she appreciates the work I put, which seems more congruent with her usual behaviors since she's always been direct and professional and a snide comment under her nose was something that I never attributed to her. I'm happy I chose to go directly to her for it because
1/ I feel I did right by myself by not ignoring what I felt then was an attack on me and by standing up to myself.
2/ It ended up being a complete misunderstanding
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2025-06-17T18:42:57
|
1ldv8fi
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
I'm rude to my friends for no reason
|
I'm making this post mainly out of curiosity to see if I'm the only person who struggles with this, or to get any advice on how to get better at this?
So basically, I think I'm generally a very nice person. Pretty much all my life, every compliment I’ve received has been about how nice, understanding, helpful, etc., I am. Even the flaws people point out are usually things like “you’re too nice.”
But for some reason, when I’m with my closest friends, I have a tendency to be kind of an asshole. I actually never realized it until recently, and I feel horrible about it.
What I mean by that is most of my jokes are “insults” (like, you know, friendly banter between friends). But I think I have a bad habit of doing it too often? Or maybe I’m not obvious enough that it’s supposed to be a joke?
I never realized I was doing that. I love my friends with all my heart and would never think badly of them. I think I just picked up this habit from some people in my entourage who also have that kind of humor, but I’m not sensitive at all and never cared about it myself.
I realized it recently because I was having a talk with two of my best friends a couple of days ago, and they pointed out that I can be a real bitch sometimes. I was honestly surprised, because they’re usually the first to tell me I’m too nice. But since that day, I’ve been catching myself doing it, insulting my friends as jokes, and I’ve noticed a couple of times that they seem more offended than anything.
Obviously, I told myself I wouldn’t do it anymore, but I guess I’ve been doing it for so long that I don’t even realize it, and it just comes out of my mouth.
I feel so bad about it, and I’m starting to think I really am a bitch, because not being able to stop myself from insulting my friends seems absolutely crazy to me?? I have no idea why I do this. I know I've always been quite awkward with bad social skills, but that seems just too much.
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2025-06-17T06:17:01
|
1ldfvhj
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
don’t overuse the workplace coffee machine
|
never occurred to me… but i mean it’s there! tldr: i realized i may be overusing the coffee machine bc my boss (not ill intended) asked me about making it at home. so if you can, have your coffee and breakfast at home.
story: my job has a keurig that’s in the common area for open use. different coffee types and even cups for us to use. the past 2 weeks i started drinking a cup basically daily bc i realized it helped me focus on work (been in a slump). i was refilling the reservoir and a kid asked why i was doing that. i replied because i need it to do my work! something like that. and my supervisor added “have you tried using a coffee machine at home?” (something like that).
no sarcasm or meanness in her tone of voice, but her asking made me realize i am overusing it. so now i’m gonna reel it back and try to stay productive.
|
2025-06-18T02:54:51
|
1le6ep6
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Extrovert and Introvert
|
Is being an introvert or an extrovert genetic?
can I train myself to go from introvert to extrovert?
if not, what is the things I can do as an introvert to be less awkward when I’m forced into social interactions?
|
2025-06-17T18:08:08
|
1ldubux
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
RTO
|
Hello,
I was send back to the office. There are many people here who I do not interact with on a work basis but would like to meet.
My main question is how do I introduce my self to people I have never interacted with before?
and if I find someone attractive does that change my approach?
|
2025-06-17T14:12:59
|
1ldo78n
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Learning to Connect Again — Tips for Rebuilding Social Confidence?
|
I’m trying to get better at talking to people again — making friends, connecting authentically, and not second-guessing myself all the time. After some tough emotional stuff, I’ve kind of kept to myself more than I’d like.
Any advice or resources for:
* Becoming a better conversationalist
* Being more present instead of anxious around people
* Meeting new people in healthy, low-pressure ways
|
2025-06-17T17:48:24
|
1ldtsxl
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
How ro I know when to break eye contact or smile?
|
In my social 101 dictionary, there are 2 rules:
1) look people in the eyes when talking
2) smile when pple smile at you
But when to break that before it becomes staring and awkward?
I tend to overdo both abit I guess as I see people turning away like I am some weirdo after I kept my smile too long.
|
2025-06-17T17:05:21
|
1ldso4f
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
How to stop talking about myself?
|
Hi, I don’t know how to talk with people.
I read on the book that says “sharing related information about yourself to build a connection”
I followed, but every time I shared something about myself related to the topic that I talked with my friends, it just turned into talking about myself.
I know it is bad, nobody likes it, but I don’t know how to avoid it.
|
2025-06-17T02:18:12
|
1ldbm9x
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
How to keep grad coffee catch-up fun?
|
Hello, I'm meeting 2 HS friends tomorrow in a coffee shop, one is the shop barista.
All I think about is career -- which all of us are stressed over. We're all graduating students.
What are fun things to talk about to divert attention from the career talk -- which is ofc never avoidable. We will def talk about career. I just don't want the day to be all that.
|
2025-06-17T16:33:15
|
1ldrtgq
| 0 | 1 |
socialskills
|
Theres a huge difference between my kid version and me
|
Ok when i was a kid i used to be social alot i mean alot. But now whenever i try to socialize with people i feel like they dont care about me. And also i feel a huge guilt in my chest when everyone says talk with people. I mean i cant because i know people will kick me off or something and this will make me ashamed.
|
2025-06-17T16:06:43
|
1ldr4kk
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
I always mumble, whisper, and talk too fast when speaking to strangers – anyone else?
|
Whenever I talk to people I don’t know very well – especially strangers or people I feel slightly intimidated by – I tend to whisper, mumble, and speak way too fast. It’s like my voice becomes weak and unclear. I don’t really feel like there’s a solid “mouth-mind” connection in those moments. My thoughts feel scattered, and my speech ends up sounding slurred, soft, and unsure.
I never feel like I’m speaking clearly, sharply, or confidently. Instead, it feels foggy – like my words are slipping out without any structure or strength behind them. And the worst part is, I *know* I’m doing it while it’s happening, but I don’t know how to stop.
Oddly, when I talk to close friends or family, I can speak normally and confidently. But in social situations where I feel judged or anxious, this “foggy voice” always comes back. I’ve also noticed that I often don’t breathe properly before speaking, or I start talking before fully forming my thoughts.
Has anyone else experienced this? Is this social anxiety, low confidence, or just a habit I’ve built over time? And how do I break this cycle and speak with more clarity and presence?
Any tips, exercises, or personal experiences would be hugely appreciated.
|
2025-06-17T09:49:46
|
1ldj0hf
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
How to have conversation when going through a lot?
|
\[28F\] \[with ADHD!\] I've had a rough life. Grown up with abusive people, surrounded by violence, been abandoned and neglected on several occasions.
I overshare or people get overwhelmed when they talk to me, because I share a lot of what I think is my normal. I don't always realize I've overshared or spoke about such heavy topics until later.
But it's hard to make friends when one is constantly going through it. Or even just chatting with coworkers.
I've been trying to work on how to improve these habits, but just don't know how to properly converse with people anymore. I want to connect with people more. I'm a people pleaser and do my best to be a good person, and be compassionate and understanding.
I think if I were to start small, I just wanna start with being able to have people WANT to have small talk with me at work. Right now, I think I've driven my coworkers away from asking me how my week has been or how I'm doing. I want them to ask me that. It feels nice. And I want to build trust with people again and make slow friendships instead of rushing into friendships.
|
2025-06-17T04:14:11
|
1lddv55
| 0 | 1 |
socialskills
|
Do people only ever remember you at your lowest points?
|
I feel it makes it extremely challenging to ever recover from "failure" or move forward in life. As long as you use certain friends in support roles, you can get very far in life. I think this isn't wrong to say.
I think assuming the worst of people is generally the right thing to do. Am I wrong?
My friend used to vent to me a lot, and they'd use me as their person to show vulnerability and weakness to, then to the rest of the world they'd act kind and strong. Eventually they discarded me. Not sure if this happens very often.
|
2025-06-16T23:07:10
|
1ld7mve
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
How can I become charismatic and interesting as a blank slate of a person, and how can I build relationships on things that last?
|
For a brief bit of backstory I'm 17M and ever since 2020 I've been isolated. Recently my friend group that started in grade school and survived until early 2024 got incredibly dry and at this point we barely talk. The thing is we still care about eachother a lot, but we just don't spend time or talk to eachother anymore. I realised the relationship was heavily reliant on our shared hobby of playing video games together and I feel like we all grew out of that hobby, which is what made the friendship die no matter how much we wanted it to stay alive.
Anyways that got me thinking, what are most of my relationships really being built on? Online I find I befriend lots of people for our shared struggles, usually our shared loneliness, but past that, we don't always connect in other ways. Loneliness is fleeting too, the relationships worked in a way that we were essentially just using eachother to alleviate our loneliness momentarily and nothing more. We weren't actually interested in eachother as people, and we didn't even have much in common or even much interest in eachother. It wasn't that we didn't care about eachother, remember my friends cared about me too but that didn't stop them from abandoning me once the foundation of our relationship crumbled. If we had been able to find a new foundation for the relationship before so much time passed I'm sure we'd still spend a ton of time together, but we struggled and never did. By now it's far too late to fix things, all my friends have moved onto new people besides me.
As someone who has had their personality dulled by depression and isolation to the point where I barely believe I still even have a personality, I'm wondering how I can find a way to connect with others. I now know the key to a stable relationship where people actually stay is a good foundation, for example: a shared hobby you love doing together, a study group you have together, a sports team you're both on, a reason to stay together. I'm realising now I was trying to force relationships without understanding that in a sense, relationships are all contractual, and obviously based on a connection you have as people that actually matters to the other person. The problem is I don't have any hobbies, or any things about me others would connect with other than my struggles.
Depression has erased the person I was and left nothing but emotions and needs. The few hobbies I do have are also quite embarassing, or at least they don't reflect the person I wish to become. For example: I like playing video games, but it's not a hobby I'd wish to show others because spending days sitting inside all day playing video games is not the type of person I want to be. Who I really want to be is someone who gets out, plays sports, creates amazing art, someone who gets outside, and is creative and smart. Not another useless manchild or whatever women like calling lonely men who've given up on life and choose to do nothing but laze around at home. Playing video games is also something I doubt many people would relate to outside of the internet (especially women if I even get far enough to pursue a relationship, I know video games is a very un at.tractlv.e hobby.) I feel like such a boring and pathetic person and as if I have no choice but to lie about who I really am and what my interests are if I want to sustain a relationship. I won't find someone with the same loser interests that I have, and even if I did I want to get rid of those parts of myself anyways.
I'm planning to join a bunch of clubs when summer ends and grade 12 starts, but it feels like high school is too close to it's end to build anything meaningful, it feels more like a free year to practice before I become an adult. I have no idea how I'll manage considering I feel so socially inept but I'm willing to push through the anxiety because I'd rather fuck up terribly than stay lonely and never try.
I know this post is kind of a mess of disorganized ideas so sorry about that but to clarify the reason for making this post and bring everything together, **the TLDR is: I'm 17M and ever since 2020 I've been isolated and depressed. I feel like my depression and isolation pretty much erased my personality, which makes it nearly impossible for me to connect with others in a meaningful way. I'm just asking for possibly advice on my situation, input on some of the things I wrote, and tips for becoming charismatic and interesting from this point on.**
|
2025-06-17T14:23:05
|
1ldogcc
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Why did this random girl mock me at the national exam break?
|
So this happened during a break at the national multi-subject test (kind of like SATs in my country). I was sitting in the hallway with a guy I know from my village. Nearby, there was a group of about 3 guys and 2-3 girls, probably from the same school or lyceum.
I wasn’t interacting with them at all — just sitting quietly, wiping my face a bit because I was mentally drained from two exams in a row.
Suddenly I hear one of the girls say (loudly enough for me to hear):
“Look, he’s sitting there crying! Go ask him if he knows physics!”
I was a bit stunned. I didn’t even look in their direction. Just acted like I didn’t hear it. But I did. And it stuck with me.
Thing is — I looked better than anyone there. Dressed clean, stylish, calm. Didn’t give off any “weird” vibes. I was minding my own business. I wasn’t awkward or trying to get attention. Just tired and sitting down.
The guys in her group didn’t really react — they didn’t laugh or support her. It was just her, trying to sound cool or funny, I guess?
So my question is:
Why the hell did she do that?
Why mock someone completely unprovoked, someone who didn’t do or say a single word to you?
Was she trying to look cool in front of her group? Did I trigger something in her just by looking calm and dressed well? Or was I just an easy target because I wasn’t part of their “clique”?
I didn’t react — and I’m glad I didn’t — but it still bugs me. What was going on here, socially or psychologically?
|
2025-06-17T13:54:57
|
1ldnr5o
| 0 | 1 |
socialskills
|
Is Looking for friendship or connection online worth a shot?
|
I live in a very secluded area with not any people of my own age so I don't really get to befriend or even become acquainted with people are around here.
I have tried to befriend people in college but I didn't manage to connect or become friends with people over there either and now my only options have come down to online friends.
I'm mainly looking to connect with somebody with similar interests as me, doesn't have to be friendship could just be acquainted as well, specifically on pintrest because I'm not as active as there on any other social media platform, But I don't know how to look for people and where to even find people that I could connect with and not just end up ghosting or stop talking.
But, that's a latter point, I'm still unsure if online friendships or anything like that is even worth it or is gonna work for me, Because I'm a very socially awkward person, Despite craving a connection, to the point I'm only looking to find one single person to befriend. I'm not really good at keeping conversations going and I don't even have much to offer like, Meeting in real life Or gaming together or talking over calls.
That's why I wanted to ask here, should I try connecting online? If I should what is an effective way or place to find or approach people that isn't creepy?
|
2025-06-17T10:01:34
|
1ldj74c
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
how do i take friendships to the next level?
|
i don't have a hard time making friends but it's always hard for me to take these friendships to the next level. im always stuck at the awkward stage where we just talk casually if we see each other but i want a deep connection and i want hang outs im so tired of all the casual friendships i have
|
2025-06-17T05:05:52
|
1ldeqm6
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
How do I stop being the only one maintaining a friendship?
|
Here’s the issue:
I’ve had a few friendships (one long-term especially) where I’m the one who plans the meetups; checks in and follows up after we hang out.
The other person rarely initiates. They’ll respond and be cool when we do meet, but they never reach out on their own. I’ve seen the same thing in new connections — even after meetups or shared events, I’m the one doing all the follow-up.
I don’t want to ghost anyone, but I also don’t want to keep investing in people who wouldn’t even notice if I stopped messaging.
|
2025-06-17T04:11:13
|
1lddt9m
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
How to befriend normal people?
|
It seems that I attract weirdos and creeps as friends, I'm a very neutral person and I'm not judgemental, also I trust that people know what they're doing and I don't question or get involved in their life choices.
As you can imagine, I end up attracting the weirdest of the people. Borderline mentally ill ones, and now I'm getting the ick because I'm exhausted and I don't want these types of friendships. Fuck me. I'd be such an excellent psychologist but I don't have the means to study that career.
Anyways I want to attract normal friends and normal partners. How do I attract normal? Thanks.
|
2025-06-16T06:54:32
|
1lcm551
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
I feel closed down and fake when i’m with friends
|
i’ve realized everytime i’m with friends i find myself feeling fake and fake laughing just trying to fit in and i just can’t let my guard down and be myself. Then it always ends up with me not being able to create real bond and being left out… i know it’s my fault but i can’t fix it and i hate that i have no friends bc i myself just can’t build a relationship. it’s getting to the point where it’s affecting my mental .. what do i do
|
2025-06-17T01:41:22
|
1ldavft
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
What should my friend do after finding out her boyfriend lied about his age?
|
My friend started talking to a guy about two years ago. He messaged her on Facebook, and at the time she was 22. She was hesitant to continue the conversation because she thought he was 10 years older than her.
She asked to see his ID, and when she did, it confirmed he was 10 years older. But he told her it was wrong and that he was actually only 9 years older. He’s originally from another country (so is she, but she was born in the country we live in), so she figured maybe it was wrong and decided to give him the benefit of the doubt.
They both live in the same city and have met in person many times over the years, this wasn’t just an online thing. Over the course of their two years talking, she has asked him multiple times if he had ever lied about anything, and each time he said no. She says that otherwise, he has treated her well and been a good guy.
Recently, she wanted to take the next step and tell her family about him. That’s when he finally admitted, over the phone, that he had lied from the beginning and that he actually is 10 years older. He said he wanted to come clean before she told her family, since he was scared the truth would come out eventually.
She hung up the phone and blocked him.
Later, they ended up talking again. He said he regrets lying but doesn’t know what else to say. She told him she would return everything he’s ever given her and even offered to pay him back for things he’s spent on her. But he asked her not to make any rushed decisions and said they should talk again once he’s back in town (he’s currently in another city temporarily).
My friend says this situation will probably always linger in the back of her mind, even if she forgives him.
I honestly don’t know what advice to give her.
What should she do?
|
2025-06-17T17:11:11
|
1ldstq4
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Hard time making friends and being included
|
So I (25 F) have AuDHD and OCD and in recent years irl its been really hard to make friends who want to be around me. I'll keep this short as I'm tired but the last last time I tried making irl friends was 2022 which went fine for a few months before this other girl came along and everyone began obsessing over her, ofc being excited to make a new friend is fine and I'm like that too as I love making friends when I can but I mean properly obsessed to the point they were hanging out at burger king without me and kicking me out of the dnd group before it started and adding her so they could have a "good run"
Things got especially bad as college was ending as they treated me like I was weird just for making convo with them to the point they asked me for space, full well knowing I had no other friends in the college. I blocked every single one of them the day I left and hadn't begun making irl friends until a few weeks ago.
I joined this group for other queer people and I thought I had made friends there, but while I didn't think much of it that the first friend I made wouldn't reply to dms, like people are busy I totally get it but already in a short time all my new friends were getting mad at me for miscommunication, not communicating properly themselves and full on isolating me from other people, even when trying to talk to them would pretend like they couldn't hear me. They left the main meetup in the group I'm in so took the opportunity to block them as they made it very clear they had no interest in being friends.
But now I'm just stressed as it took me 3 years to make friends again and I'm just worried about this happening again, especially as they seemed so nice when I first met them and now I just feel empty, again. Not to mention over the past year I've lost multiple online friends too including my ex best friend who became more distant and cold before blocking me.
Just not sure what to do or how to make friends when my trust issues are pretty much non existent at this point, like i really want to make friends but I just don't know if this will happen again or not, just have felt excluded irl for most of my life so would love to be included for once. Would anyone have any advice?
|
2025-06-17T02:07:52
|
1ldbeur
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
People stare at me when I overtake them while walking.
|
It's been killing me. I'm a pretty fast walker and it pains me to walk slow, that's just how I am.
But when someone slow is walking in front of me and I walk beside them to get ahead they just give me the weirdest stare ever. Like I have 3 heads or 6 arms or something type of stare. I heard you should just stare back but it's so hard and probably makes me seem hostile.
This has been a problem for so long and I've never seen anyone talk about it. For example: I had an awful day today, put on music while walking and tried to calm down, but every person I walk past just looks at me like I'm Bigfoot and it destroys me. It's so awkward and it never gets easier...
|
2025-06-16T17:49:12
|
1lczkub
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
How do you guys react to bullying disguised as banter?
|
Ideally we'd all like to have a zinger to fire back and 'put them in their place', but not only does that not always happen, I don't know if that's an ideal solution.
If I know someone is engaging in bullying but trying to disguise it as banter with me, I feel like even if I do come up with a clever response I'm establishing that interaction as being playful when I know it wasn't.
I absolutely love banter, it's a very fun way to interact with and bond with people, but when I know there's ill intent behind it, I can't bring myself to enjoy it.
On the one hand I don't want to just 'take it' but on the other hand I don't want to positively reinforce it by pretending like the interaction was banter done in good fun when I know it wasn't.
What's a reasonable way to handle these interactions? How do you establish a boundary when the perpetrator has the 'it was just jokes' excuse?
|
2025-06-16T18:36:14
|
1ld0uue
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
I smile awkwardly around people (except close friends/family) and can’t control it – anyone else?
|
Whenever I’m interacting with people who aren’t in my close circle – like coworkers, acquaintances, strangers, or even casual friends – I automatically smile. But not in a natural or confident way. It’s this awkward, nervous kind of smile that doesn’t really feel genuine, and it just *happens* without me meaning to.
I’ve noticed it feels like a kind of defense mechanism – like I’m subconsciously trying to show I’m non-threatening or trying to please the other person. The smile isn’t connected to any real emotion; it just comes up whenever I feel slightly out of my comfort zone. It’s like my body is trying to keep the peace, even when there’s no conflict.
The thing is, I *know* it makes me look unsure or submissive – almost like I’m signaling that I’m “below” the other person. Sometimes I worry it invites people to not take me seriously or even walk over me. And the frustrating part is, I don’t know how to stop. Even when I catch myself doing it, I can’t seem to change the reaction in the moment.
This doesn’t happen with very close friends or family – with them I’m relaxed, and my expressions feel natural. But as soon as I step outside that zone, it’s like my body switches into awkward autopilot.
Has anyone else experienced this? Is it tied to self-esteem or social anxiety? And more importantly – how do you *train* yourself to break this pattern and show up with a more grounded presence?
Any advice, similar experiences, or exercises would be really helpful.
|
2025-06-17T09:54:04
|
1ldj2pr
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Should I have done something differently?
|
So I have a group of 3 other friends and we’re all in a group chat together. yesterday I suggested that they all come and swim at my place and they all like reacted to the message. Come today and none of them said anything or followed up so I assumed they didn’t want to. Should I have been the one to follow up? I genuinely don’t know if that’s something the host does, I’ve not really invited people to my place before
|
2025-06-17T06:01:29
|
1ldfmwr
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
How do I stop coming across as innocent and stupid
|
I (17F) often throughout my life have gotten comments about how I look “refreshed” like I haven’t been hit with life yet or haven’t experienced the real world yet. People often assume I don’t know what things are, even if they’re the same age as me. They automatically count me out in conversations that are “mature”, most recently about shaving down there. Ok I was homeschooled my entire life. Most moments that made me look dumb in front of friends were misunderstandings but that’s the problem. People don’t first try to find out if they misunderstood me, they assume what I said was the dumb thing they misheard. I genuinely don’t think I’ve acted dumb that often to warrant this though. Here’s another factor… I’m really nice and smiley and shy. I don’t talk a whole lot. I’m okay with that. There are shy nice people I know who don’t get pinned with the assumption that they’re stupid and innocent. I’m sick of it and I want to try and present myself differently. I can’t really pinpoint why people think this of me but I want to change. Plus people often take me for granted because I’m so nice, thinking they can say whatever and I want to stop that. Do yall have any tips on how I can present myself more… maturely? Not in a robot I know so much way but I guess in a way cool 17 yr olds act because I’m assuming I don’t act that way.
|
2025-06-16T14:14:22
|
1lctwpi
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Complementing a woman
|
How do I complement a female coworker that has recently lost a bunch of weight without coming off as rude or creepy? I know she has worked hard to achieve her weight loss.
|
2025-06-17T17:16:07
|
1ldsymp
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Is this normal for some friend groups?
|
In this friend group with three other people.
Now a couple things…
I’ve had several friend groups where I have NOT felt excluded, but recently I’ve noticed something off with my current one. I just want to be sure I’m not being overly sensitive or dramatic. I would like to add that it’s been a while since we’ve been able to hang out. They invited me out so I try not to think about these things too much. Here’s a few things I noticed…
Two of them often have conversations amongst themselves, sometimes I try to cut in but I can’t find the right moment.
They whisper to each other right in front of us, or talk about stuff that we weren’t told about like it’s a secret.
I can be awkward sometimes, so if I say something off they kind of give each other “that look” and it kind of hurts…
When they’re apart it’s a bit easier to talk to them!
Like damn??? Why do they invite me out if they can’t include me in the convo or something. It kinda seems disrespectful too.
Are the other two of us like the backup friends? I’ve always made sure to include others in the convo because I know what it feels like.
It feels more fulfilling seeing everyone get a chance to talk and share what they feel about something.
It’s become like this weird dynamic where I’d rather hangout with one person who also gets excluded because they’re quiet and really sweet. 💔 We’ve gotten close but I’m starting to think this isn’t the friend group for me. Would that be too harsh to consider?
|
2025-06-16T23:53:27
|
1ld8nsg
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
What are the most valuable but overlooked skills for men in the next 10 years?
|
I’m trying to rebuild my life around long-term empire building, social power, and legacy — and I’m wondering:
What are the quiet skills nobody talks about, but that make men powerful over the next decade? Think: land management, conflict resolution, negotiation, or storytelling.
What are you building that will pay off big by 2035?
|
2025-06-17T16:42:58
|
1lds2qb
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
a friend wants to stay over, but I feel overwhelmed. how do I say no without being a jerk?
|
i (29F) have this friend (33F) used to hang out with a lot for about 2 decades now. she's a social butterfly and im not. i dont need a lot of socializing to feel okay.
ladt week, ive quit my 7year wfh job and on a handover process. im sleep deprived at the moment because of it. and i'd like to spend my weekend tending my garden or do general cleaning in the house.
she lives in the capital city and messaged me that she’ll be in my town next week. here’s how the convo went:
Her: “what are you doing on Saturday?” (a week from now)
Me: “laundry. hahah why?”
Her: “can i go there and have an overnight?”
i haven’t responded yet. honestly, the message overwhelmed me. i don’t like being put on the spot, and im not in the mood to host anyone right now. even people I care about. but i can go out for a coffee or dinner.
i don’t want to be rude, but i also don’t want to agree to something that drains me just to avoid awkwardness or guilt. how do i respond in a way that’s honest, firm, but not hurtful?
would appreciate advice, especially from people who’ve had to pull back from old friendships without making it weird.
Edit: i forgot to mention that ive turned down a couple of her invites. Today, i said no - im not available to host, so we just decided to meet up, hang out, and enjoy good food in town.
thank you and ive read all your comments... i appreciate all your given advice. ❤️
|
2025-06-16T02:50:07
|
1lci2h4
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
When you are visiting with friends how do you know when it is time to leave?
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I am terrible at knowing when it is time to leave a social situation. I used to always leave way early at the first silence or lull in the activity and feel like I was missing out for it. However some people I know will hang out with others for hours and hours even in silence. Me personally, I am very independent but I am working on letting people into my life for longer periods of time. How do you know when it is ok to stick around or when you are pushing someone's boundaries?
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2025-06-17T01:22:42
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1ldai1d
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Wtf is this interaction?
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Was out with my uncle and cousin who'd just had a baby. Cousin is 30F and im 33F. Our relationships been odd after hitting or 20s, we're cordial but don't really speak unless im visiting
I come over to hang out with them and see my new nephew. My cousin's not really looking at me directly which I find odd. I have ADHD and someone say things I prob shouldn't. I blurt out of nowhere "oh shoot! I forgot to bring your present!" No one says anything and I awkwardly say "well, I'll bring it next time" no one says anything... I bought her a squishmellow and meant what I said..
We go into barnes and noble later on and my uncle's looking at a journal. He mumbles at me and I ask if he's talking to me, he says no, he wanted to buy the journal for my cousin
He walks over to her and says he wants to buy her the journal, she says she doesn't need another. She then says buy it for me instead, I say I don't need it
Now, they both start talking to each other like I'm not there. He keeps insisting and then my cousin says "buy it for me and then I'll give it to (me) as a gift" I've already said I didn't want it and they continue to say they same thing three times, still acting like I'm not there. I felt like a child...
Wtf was that? Did I do something wrong socially by bringing up my gift earlier? How tf do I respond to that?
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2025-06-16T20:04:41
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1ld35c6
| 0 | 1 |
socialskills
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Some problems face in networking
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So here's the situation.
Last year I transfer to this new school and I’ve slowly grown apart from a lot of my old friend's and classmates. Not because of some big fight—just differences. Depth of conversation dropped.
I’ve tried meeting new people. Most of the time I walk away thinking, “Is it me, or are these people just dumb?” Not in the sense of IQ, but in this weird spiritual way—like everything they say feels surface-level, naive, or just plain noisy.
But when ever I want "real depth” or “I refuse to fake it.” I'll feels I'm isolated, not by them, but by myself.
Am I emotionally isolating myself under the excuse of being “too aware,” “too thoughtful,” or “too unwilling to be fake”? Is the loneliness the cost of not wanting to “play the game”?
To be fair: I’m not saying I’m better than anyone. I know I’m flawed. But it’s painful when you crave connection—and instead feel trapped in a world full of noise, dopamine and sexual hormone brains.
Some days I think: maybe I should just pretend. Talk about thing's and people I don’t care about.
Other days, I think: nah. I’d rather be alone than diluted.
But being alone hurts. Let’s not romanticize it. It hurts when no one really gets you, you can feel it when you force you self stay away from others, even they are stupid. I've read a paper about how big the isolation is as a factor influence the possibility of suicide.
Sometimes I really want to reach out and gather with some of my old friends—just sit, talk, like we used to. But at the same time, I’m afraid. I hate feeling isolated, but I also hate facing the slow, quiet truth that we’re not the same anymore. That weird moment when you’re all in the same room, yet the connection feels thinner, when both of you want to go back to before but just staring at each other and make the atmosphere super awkward. It hurts more than being alone. And I would rather not see my old friend's if that's what gonna happen. It’s not just losing people—it’s watching what you once had dissolve in front of you.
In the meantime, I’ll keep reading, thinking, writing stuff like this. I’ll try to stay soft without becoming bitter. Open without being naive. And yeah, a little lonely, but real.
Curious if anyone else here feels this.
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2025-06-17T04:48:05
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1ldefsi
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
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How to ask my roommate to stop blasting music
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My roommate is a DJ and so he blasts music frequently when he’s mixing. I don’t mind it until it gets to bed time which for me is early so I can go to the gym before work. I feel awkward asking him to turn it down when it’s only 9:30-10, but I need to sleep. Any advice?
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2025-06-17T00:56:05
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1ld9yov
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
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How to get over fear of phone calls
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I’m trying to get into college but there was a minor complication with the admission that requires me to call the administration but i just can’t do it. I asked my father if he would and he said he absolutely wouldnt, and that if i can’t even make one phone call he wont even let me go. It sounds so stupid but i’m seriously considering not even going to college because i can’t make a phone call. I’ve been trying to work up the courage to do it for almost 2 weeks but i just can’t, i get so anxious and embarassed and i don’t know why.
I have no issues calling my friends or my parents as long as no one is around, and i’m fine with talking to people in person im just so anxious about this phone call. Ive always been fine with calling friends but i only recently got over the fear of calling family for whatever reason.
All the things i’ve read from people say they got over it just by getting used to it and over time but i cant even start dialing the number.
I’m a minor, so if my dad doesn’t take me theres pretty much no other options. What can i do to get over the anxiety? I think once i’m
actually on the phone i’d be able to manage but being able to build up the courage to call in the first place is the problem
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2025-06-16T19:48:34
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1ld2q6l
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
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What Can I Do To Get Friends?
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I’m in this weird spot with a long-term friend where I’m realizing that, over the past couple years, I’ve always been the one who keeps the connection alive.
We’re not super close, but we’ve had good moments — concerts, chill nights, shared interests, memes, etc. He’s not a bad guy at all. But I’ve noticed something I can’t unsee:
**I’m always the one reaching out.**
* I plan the meetups
* I check in
* I follow up after events
* He’s never initiated a hangout on his own, ever
He’s mentioned stuff like “we should travel one day” or “I’ll ask my friend about the trip idea,” but it never leads anywhere unless *I* make it real.
I haven’t fully stopped messaging him, but I’m considering it just to see what happens. And it’s frustrating, because I’m not trying to ghost anyone — I’m just tired of being the only one doing CPR on this friendship.
Even outside this one friend, I’ve been going to meetups (IRL and Discord), and I still see the same pattern: I’m the one initiating, following up, and trying to build something… and most people don’t really meet me halfway(or at very least im the one who initiates shit or will end up doing so). This is the same thing with other friends in school. I'm always the one who organized shit. I get it. Sometimes you have to be the one to .
So my questions are:
How do you build real friendships without always being the one carrying it?
* How do you **filter early** for people who will *actually invest* back?
* How do you avoid becoming jaded or resentful while still putting yourself out there?
I’m not bitter — just tired of being the “friendly guy” no one follows up with.
Any advice, mindset shifts, or experiences would help. Same as advice on friends, convo, what i need to do.
Also for myself, I am purposely making sure I am attempting to talk to at least one person everyday and have a social interaction in my university so I can actually do shit. I'm reading books on social skills and implementing them because I ACTUALLY WANT TO MEET PEOPLE!!!! ITS LIKE A HUNGER I HAVE LOL
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2025-06-17T04:00:51
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1lddm7g
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
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Quick to dismiss me
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People are quick to assume I’m boring or have no substance just because I’m socially awkward in conversations.
Hi, I’m a woman in my mid 20s still in college. There’s a pattern I noticed after replaying and observing the way my conversations with different people flow. Like, I can actually tell the moment they put me in a box that says “boring”. It’s definitely frustrating for me because it hinders them to form a connection with me. I’ve tried to stray from small talk after the pleasantries but there’s that barrier they put to keep me away from any topic that’s exclusively for friends. Even if that topic is what we both like. I fear I’ll remain an acquaintance with my classmates in college. I miss the shared inside jokes type of bond, y’know?
Whenever I listen in on other people’s conversations, it just feels so.. generic? I get it, small talk is important in order to segue into richer conversations but it’s killing me inside to keep it up.
It’s not to say I don’t have friends—I do, my friends took the time to really know me and I have one close friend I can confide in. It’s just that I worry this will also rob me of opportunities to not only mingle with my peers, but also miss out on connections for my future career. I also don’t have much social presence despite being active with extracurriculars and getting involved with other people outside my classrooms.
I’ve ventured into public speaking despite my raging social anxiety, I’ve tried exploring different hobbies and met different people but after everything, I still suck with talking and making a connection. I’m simply frustrated with surface level connections, that’s all. Thanks for reading my rant. If you’ve got suggestion, I’m all ears!
Edit: Not just a rant but also need suggestions.
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2025-06-16T19:45:34
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1ld2ndg
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
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What makes someone easy to talk to?
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For reference, I'm a woman in my mid-20s, and I hear from a lot of people that I'm "just easy to talk to." Men and women of many ages and orientations have told me this. Coworkers have told me their in-depth conspiracy theories with no prompting, people on the internet will tell me a lot of their personal business, cashiers will offload their trauma while I'm trying to buy my grocieries, I get a lot of requests for relationship advice even though I'm single and... yeah.
Part of me wonders if I just attract the kind of crowd that designates random people as their "personal therapist," but it's not like I'm offering much advice or making many comments. Just listening, nodding, and the occaisional echo question. But then what is it that attracts that behavior? I personally feel like I'd be unbearable to talk to precisely because don't offer much in return lol. Yet I'm often proven wrong.
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2025-06-16T21:12:59
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1ld4ws3
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
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making and keeping new connections
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i am introverted and feel lonely due to my lack of ability to forge new connections. it’s my biggest insecurity.
how the heck do i keep connections? i’m ok with talking to people although a bit slow to warm up. i’m fine with close friends. but i feel like i am missing something or some way of thinking about people in my life when im not with people. i just don’t think of them at all. it makes it so hard for me to get close to people.
what kind of things do you wonder about people?
what kind of things do you text to new or not-super-close friends?
when do you feel comfortable enough to call a new friend for the first time (if you’re a caller)
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2025-06-17T02:45:21
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1ldc5t5
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
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How to make irl friends as a 20 yr old male
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I’m 20 and have lost connection with my friend in high school and now don’t really have friends or things to do during the summer. So I’m really wanting to know where I can go to meet people I can become friends with, I have a lot of interests like hip hop, games, anime, sports, and the gym but I never seem to know where to find people.
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2025-06-16T22:29:31
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1ld6ryh
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
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Best ways to avoid answering unwanted questions from strangers?
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At social events just chatting with strangers, if they keep asking personal questions you don't feel comfortable answering, what are good ways to get out of it without seeming rude or unsociable? Especially if they just throw out such information about themselves (such as where they live, age, where they work, details about family, ect) first so now it feels like you should match them. And they may be friends of friends so you have an incentive to give them a positive impression, but don't feel comfortable revealing too much since you don't personally know them yet.
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2025-06-16T18:42:37
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1ld10xx
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
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I can make friends easy enough.... keeping them? how do?
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im pretty good at finding cool people i get along with, they talk all about oh yeah lets hang some time, hers my number etc etc. BUT, its either they want my full attention all the time and i burn out because im bad at saying no. texting all day, wanting to see each other every time they are bored. not to sound ungrateful or anything, but like, it stresses me out lol (really only had one or two like this, but friends who actually want to be around me are quite rare for whatever reason, so its a significant margin still)
OR, im practically begging them to hang out, just once, but always "busy" or "sick today" or in one case that really hurt "im planning a booth at a festival 3 months from now so i wont be able to hang until after that.(he still didnt for months after until i just gave up and wrote him off as a false friend)" i could ask once a week every week if they have anything planned coming up. no pressure, not OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING RIGHT NOW LETS HANG! instead I say "hey, you got anything planned next week? im doing x and would be cool to bring a friend/im not doing anything if you wanted to get together and hang sometime after work this week," type of shit. ive even tried name specific times days or a range that would work instead of leaving it ambiguous, nothing. cant tell you the last time i saw someone in person other than my dad
so i end up drifting away, and my social anxiety makes answering texts/messages difficult because if i dont open it right away becuase of said anxiety, then the anxiety builds even worse because now they are waiting on a response and will likely respond instantly and then im stuck in a text convo(i prefer leaving some stuff to talk about in person, not everything needs to be constantly in connection, if that makes sense). like if i see you every week or so, i dont need to be told you daily life all the time, save some bloody conversation for face to face. not that i dont want to hear it, but like, i dunno maybe im just weird with that, anyone understand what im saying?
so like im really torn between "im a shitty friend because i go awol and drift away and i wont respond for days and omg they want to hang out but im still burnt out from yesterdays activities," and, "why is it impossible to find a friend on the same wavelength?" or "am i that unlikeable that i need to nearly beg people for company?"
the biggest one that plagues my mind though is, "are they just faking being my friend because they are too polite to tell me to fuck off." it is one of my greatest social fears(had some fun times in school, nice people... /s) and it seems to actually have been the case for a few "friends" ive had (looking at YOU mister festival booth guy.)
i dunno if any of this is intelligible or even what im looking for out of this post, im just, im lonely and feeling hurt (also maybe slightly manic, so i am sorry for the ranting). ive always said im fine being alone but im not, as much i as try to fake till i make it
i dunno man im lost at this point
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2025-06-16T22:25:24
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1ld6okt
| 0 | 1 |
socialskills
|
Struggling socializing at parties
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So like growing up, parties weren't really that bad to me. But it was mostly because I was wish friends for those. Now that I'm an adult, I just feel so awkward and out of place in parties. I don't know what to say and do. I tried mingling and they were alright, but even then I just feel too anxious and out of place to join parties. I kinda want to stop going to them tbh.
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2025-06-17T01:56:06
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1ldb63z
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
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How do you tactfully end a phone call/video chat?
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Was totally caught off guard today. Not really a fan of long talks on the phone so I usually find an opportune moment to say something like, "alright I'll let you go for now but, [something relevant]..."
A new buddy totally caught me off guard today and I wasn't expecting him to be so damn straightforward. As soon as I started hinting that I'm gonna go for now and that I'm going to call soon, my guy was like, " you aren't trying to end the conversation are you? Don't tell me you wanna hang up." in a joking tone(but you can tell that he's serious about the question).
How do you do this effortlessly? Ofcourse you can always make an excuse but it can't work all the time. Especially if the other person knows that you have nothing better to do. How do you guys deal with this?
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2025-06-17T01:54:35
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1ldb4z9
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
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Is it rude not to ask you directly?
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Is it rude that when you're with a friend and another person, that person starts asking the other person questions about my personal life instead of asking me directly?
Not is the first case. I don't understand why this happens. I don't know if I give off a bad vibe or if they feel uncomfortable. But anyway, it's pretty weird to ask the other person things about my personal life or about me when I'm part of the conversation.
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2025-06-16T13:18:55
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1lcslbv
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Should I go on a trip with classmates who have always excluded and ignored me?
|
I just graduated from high school this May. There’s this group of classmates planning a summer trip to the mountains. I said I’d go with them, and honestly, I was pretty excited about it at first.
But then, just today, something changed in my head. I realized that these people never really included me. Over the years, I was mostly invisible — not openly bullied, but ignored or mocked behind my back. The class had a core group of popular kids who called the shots socially, and if you weren’t in that group, you were basically background noise.
I always dressed normally, never tried to stand out or cause trouble, and I never crossed anyone’s path aggressively or provoked conflicts. Still, some of my closest friends from before stopped talking to me. One just disappeared completely, another started mocking me in front of others, and a third just drifted away and sided with the popular group.
At one event, during dance rehearsals, the girls outright refused to dance with me. Some even laughed. There was this one guy who smiled at me ironically, like he was testing me. It was humiliating, but I kept my cool.
Later, during a class song rehearsal, I spoke up calmly to ask about the plans, and people acted surprised like I wasn’t part of the conversation. Some girls from the popular group asked why I hadn’t joined their activities, almost like they were poking at me. It felt like a weird game.
At the last school celebration, things got worse. A drunk older student pushed me and I ended up fighting back, but it was awkward and embarrassing. Throughout the night, I felt completely out of place. People I thought were friends either ignored me or treated me coldly. I realized I was on the outside of everything.
Now I’m wondering: is it even worth going on this trip with them? What do I expect to gain? Some kind of acceptance? Closure? Or is it just a waste of time and emotional energy?
I was really pumped to go just an hour ago, but now I’m thinking maybe I shouldn’t. Am I overreacting? Is it petty to back out last minute? Would it be better to just stay home and focus on myself?
I’d appreciate honest advice
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2025-06-16T16:39:23
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1lcxoj7
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
how do I deal with the fact that not everyone will choose me?
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You might find this similar as the undying question of "how do you deal with the fact that not everyone will like you", but somehow this feels worse for me, cause I get this insecurity only with my friends and people I feel close with.
It's evident that you can't be on people's minds 24/7, but I always feel down when I see that some of my friends are hanging out without me, or making plans that I suggested but with other people.
It's not that I don't hang with them or that they don't invite me. The thing is that I can't help but get jealous when I see that I wasn't their first option or that they directly didn't think about me, even if I know that it's unreasonable, because they have their own life's and friends apart from me.
My problem it's that I know this jealousy makes me petty and I don't want it to harm my friendships because of such a childish thing.
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2025-06-16T21:17:06
|
1ld50hk
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Need advice
|
So long rant here: I moved to U.S while in High School and that's when I started having depression because I had no friends and couldn't really connect with anyone. People made fun of me at times and I went through 4 years of agony. After that I started and tried to hang out with people but always have this thought in my head that for some reason (can be my looks, attitude or etc) people will eventually dislike me and leave me. Which I noticed it often put in a people pleaser/anxious mentality to say or do things so people will like me. Every job l've been in, l've had difficulty connecting with people and maybe this has become so complex in my head that I no longer have any feelings!
And once I see people distant themselves from me, I start playing the victim that it's their fault.
But I always see other people talking, joking and getting along and I always feel I'm not included or if I am included, I think oh they just pity me so they try to include. It's getting to a point that I think of things like so much that I come off as awkward and weird because I just don't share anything about myself at all because I'm afraid people will pick on it and go down hill again. I'm sure there has been other people in my shoes that fixed this mentality so would love to get some perspective.
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2025-06-17T01:00:13
|
1lda1px
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
small things that helped me feel more confident. what helped you?
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i'm not a super confident person, but i've found small things that helped me fell better in society.
1. speaking a little louder and slower ( it shows control)
2. standing up straight
3. making eye contact ( few seconds enough)
4. see people as a characters in a game and you are the main player
5. when you talk to someone, focus fully on them. what they say, how they look, their mood. don't think about yourself
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2025-06-15T15:44:20
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1lc3die
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Ever since I became confident and happy in myself It seems I become the center of attention without even trying or showing that I want to be?
|
I don’t know if anyone relates.
(Before ppl say this is narcissism, I don’t think I am better than anyone else, we are all equal. This is just what I notice with social dynamics since I’ve become fully content in myself when I’m involved in them).
Anyway, I’ve done a lot of inner work over the years to a point where I am very confident and happy in myself now and able to kinda just say whatever comes to mind without second guessing it and it generally gets a positive reaction because I think it just comes across to people that I’m not afraid to be myself and it causes a positive reaction.
I notice that when I enter a social space where people are already talking the energy of the room shifts suddenly and all eyes are on me.
I start to laugh and joke and people laugh along but it seems like when I am in a room I have to carry the energy almost for other ppl to then open up. Where some ppl can sit in silence and be a background character and not draw too much attention I don’t seem to be able to do that.
So I’ve started just leaning into this as I think this is just the person I am meant to be who uplifts others. Would be nice to be able to just chill and not have to make effort sometimes. But then I guess I’m not being myself.
Is it true that once you are rly confident and carry yourself well people notice and feel that energy and you become the center of attention even if you aren’t trying to be?
I’m never trying to be the center of attention it just seems to naturally go that way once I enter a room. So I’m just gradually leaning into it now and the social interactions go better. That is just my observation of what seems to happen.
I’d love to hear thoughts from ppl who relate. Thank you!
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2025-06-16T14:03:43
|
1lctng2
| 0 | 1 |
socialskills
|
Its hard making new friends
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To be honest its hard making new friends it took me 2 years just to make real friends its really hard to make new friends when old friends split up and go to their seperate way, for example the other group has a different prefrence of hobbies and you wanna be friends with them but you completely have the opposite hobbies so its very hard to find friends these days that like the things you like also.
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2025-06-16T18:16:47
|
1ld0cbn
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Self love and acceptance
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Guys I need tips. For those guys who are comfortable with who they are and know their worthy and love themselves in a healthy way. How did you manage to get to that stage and how long did it take? I feel like I'm only happy when I have ppl around which is not healthy so I need to change that
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2025-06-16T14:31:36
|
1lcucma
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Why does people knowing of my hobbies make me uncomfortable?
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I’m alright with telling people hobbies I enjoy if asked but I hate the idea of them being involved or needing help with it. I would much rather figure everything out myself then them even know I do it, I think it has to do with wanting to be invisible most of the time because I don’t like people heavily acknowledging me all the time. Though it still feels weird
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2025-06-16T18:22:01
|
1ld0hcz
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
I’m being forced to apologise but I don’t feel I did anything wrong?
|
Pretty much at the weekend just gone my mums friend and daughter came down to visit after she looked at a uni and apparently I made them feel awkward because I didn’t talk to them but it wasn’t on purpose I’ve always been horrible at starting conversations and everyone knows this about me but all I know is it’s because I didn’t try to talk to her but she didn’t talk to me either and that’s what’s confusing me.
Now my mums trying to make me apologise about how it’s because I’m not good at talking to people and I said I don’t feel I should and she got annoyed so I don’t know what to do, any advice?
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2025-06-16T21:48:35
|
1ld5sc2
| 1 | 0 |
socialskills
|
suddenly too anxious to speak to friends
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it seems like it always gets to a point with any longer distance or online friends that I just suddenly get too anxious to speak to/text them. This doesn't happen with anyone I'm friends with that I see on a regular basis.
I absolutely do not understand why I suddenly get this way. I WANT to talk to my friends!
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2025-06-16T12:34:47
|
1lcrmwd
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Problem with folks interrupting me
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It seems like many people have a tendency to cut me off. Not too many people that I have talked to in the last month listen to what I am saying g entirely, take a second to think, and the respond to me. Most people just cut me off to gear the conversation towards themselves. I am not sure if I just have narcissistic people around me or not. I do know that most people love to talk about themselves and many have a tendency to not actively listen (i.e. not blurting out what comes to their mind, but waiting for the other person to finish talking and then form a response).
These people will spend so much time talking about themselves in a one on one setting with me. When I chime in to say I know what they mean and add a personal anecdote about how I relate to their situation, they don't ask follow up questions and don't bother to get to know me more. I am always trying to be an active listener and ask questions about people's stories that they're telling, but I rarely get it in return.
This gets to be a headache. These conversations don't feel organic. I like it when person A says something, then person B waits for them to finish and forms a response after interpreting what person A has said and vise versa. I often feel like I am the only one who does this. Again, maybe I am just around narcissistic people.
Looking for others who have had similar experience and strategies to circumnavigate these headaches of conversations. Thanks!
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2025-06-16T21:12:54
|
1ld4wpp
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
how to make friends
|
i just finished my junior year of highschool and it ended off pretty lame . i don’t have any friends at school and it’s carrying over into the summer . i think my biggest challenge is it’s hard for me to start conversations or make the first move and my mom is encouraging me to make friends but i don’t know where to start either . i like movies and drawing and screenwriting , ive applied to multiple jobs but haven’t gotten a single response . what else can i do to put myself out there and be better in social interactions ?
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2025-06-16T21:10:18
|
1ld4ubg
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
How do I build long lasting friendships?
|
(F38) I’m starting to notice a painful pattern in my life: my friendships don’t seem to last long-term. I’ve had a few meaningful ones (one lasted 15 years), but even those have faded, especially after I tried being more vulnerable and honest about my life.
I come from a complicated family background—poverty, prison, trauma—and for a long time, I avoided opening up. But after therapy, I began trying to let people in more. I don’t expect anyone to fully understand my experience, I just want to feel heard and accepted. Still, I sometimes get the feeling that my openness makes people uncomfortable, or maybe they see me as “too much.”
Other times, friendships just naturally fizzle out. Life gets busy, people grow apart—but I feel stuck in this cycle of either being too guarded or too open. I’m trying to find that middle ground and build friendships that feel mutual, safe, and lasting.
Has anyone else experienced this? What helped you form lasting, meaningful friendships? Are there habits or mindsets I can shift? I’m open to hearing anything—practical advice or just shared experiences.
|
2025-06-16T13:12:16
|
1lcsfsy
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
No posting on social media
|
I [31M] don't like to post on social media. I live a pretty normal life even if , working from home, I have a little bit more money that I could use to show off some cool stuff/places that I do/travel to. The problem is that I don' t like to show off at all. I think that posting on social media, unless you have a commercial activity, is kind of sad. It's like saying: "Here is my pretty normal life but I want to pretend it to be better than what it really is". Like a way to gain external validation. But a lot of people seems to value you based on that , and not doing so seems to be a missing opportunity for networking. What is your perception/experience about it ? Do you think posting is useful or not ?
tldr;
I have a normal life and I don't like posting on social media. I consider kind of sad posting, but I feel I'm missing the opportunity to networking. Is it so ?
|
2025-06-16T09:27:45
|
1lcod7q
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
I feel like I have no personality when talking to people I don’t know well
|
I’ve been dealing with this frustrating pattern in social situations, and I’m wondering if others feel the same. Whenever I talk to people I don’t know very well — strangers, acquaintances, classmates, colleagues, etc. — I feel like I completely shut down. I don’t show any personality. I just respond with short phrases like “yeah,” “no,” “haha,” or “right.” That’s it.
It’s not just about being quiet — it’s more like I *can’t* be myself. I get nervous, overthink what I’m saying, and feel like I have to be “safe” or invisible. I think deep down, it *is* social anxiety or shyness. I worry a lot about being judged or coming off as weird or awkward, so I play it super safe and end up being really bland.
The strange part is: when I’m with close friends or people I’m really comfortable with, it’s totally different. I can be funny, open, thoughtful — like my real self shows up. But with people I don’t know well, or people I don’t share much in common with, I just freeze up and lose all flow.
I want to change this. I want to be able to talk to anyone without feeling like I have to hide who I am. I want to stop overthinking and start actually connecting, even if it’s just small talk. But right now, I feel like I have no idea how to do that. I feel boring and empty in these situations — not because I *am* boring, but because I don’t know how to let my personality through when I’m nervous.
Has anyone else gone through this and managed to improve? How do you overcome that “shut down” feeling in social settings? And how do you develop the confidence to speak and be yourself — even when the conversation isn’t that deep or interesting?
Any advice or shared experiences would really help. I’m tired of feeling invisible.
|
2025-06-15T19:04:27
|
1lc872n
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
How do I get my friends to offer emotional support?
|
Most of the time I start conversations with my friends by asking how they are doing. I have a few friends that I speak to most days, and I ask them how they are every time I speak to them. We usually then have a chat about how they’re doing/what’s bothering them/anything new in their life etc. and then that’s it, we move onto something else or keep talking about them until one of us has to go.
All of my friends have issues (autism, ADHD, etc) that mean they all struggle in their lives and always have some sort of big update to give. I do really enjoy these conversations, I like knowing how my friends are doing and I’ve been told I’m good at giving emotional support. But none of my friends ever ask me how I’m doing in return. And none of them start conversations by asking it either. It honestly feels a bit strange how consistently this happens, and I have no idea why.
(On the rare occasion that they do ask me, I don’t go on for ages or talk super dramatically or anything like that, we just have a normal chat where I tell them how I’m doing. I can’t recall ever doing anything that would make them want to stop asking me).
My family says I should just stop asking my friends how they’re doing, but that just seems cruel to me, and I don’t think it really helps the situation in any way. What I want is to be able to receive emotional support from my friends when I need it. What should I do to achieve this? I don’t know how to directly ask without it being awkward. I hate the thought of just going “hello, I’m not having a great week, do I mind if I talk to you about it?”
There is also a part of me that’s resentful about the fact that I have to ask for it and they don’t. It feels unfair and I don’t understand how this has happened. I believe they do care about me. Maybe I just happen to have chosen friends who weren’t taught to reciprocate these types of questions, but this feels unlikely. I assume instead that I’ve done something over the course of these friendships to indicate that they shouldn’t ask me, but I don’t know what that could be.
Am I the abnormal one in this situation? Am I incorrect to have this expectation? What should I be doing differently? What might I have done wrong?
|
2025-06-16T19:36:32
|
1ld2f5w
| 0 | 1 |
socialskills
|
Micro expression
|
Sometimes my face changes as if I don't like what the other person says but I don't indeed take offence. This only started around 2 years ago after I started smoking too much weed. I don't smoke regularly anymore, Anyone with same experience?
|
2025-06-16T19:18:33
|
1ld1ylc
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
i feel like i make people uncomfortable when i talk and i don’t know how to fix it
|
i’ve always struggled socially… i’m 24 now and honestly i don’t have real friends anymore… earlier in school i used to make 2 or 3 friends each year and just forget the old ones… i never stayed connected and now i regret that because i’m left with no one… in college i couldn’t keep up either… people moved on and made new circles and i just got left behind… but my biggest issue is not just loneliness… it’s that even when i try to talk to someone now i feel like i make them uncomfortable… like i say one sentence and they make faces or change the topic like i’m giving gyan or something deep even when i’m not trying to… i don’t know if my tone is too serious or maybe i over explain but i just can’t match people’s vibe… most people talk about random stuff and jokes and i have no idea how to join in… even when i try i feel awkward and overthink everything later… i’m introvert too and i usually stay quiet in groups because i feel like i have nothing to add… but when i do speak i feel judged or ignored… i just want to know what exactly is wrong with the way i talk or behave socially… is there any way to fix this or train myself to be better in social situations… i don’t want to keep living like this
|
2025-06-16T15:25:18
|
1lcvqn7
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
How stop always being “dominated” by others?
|
The people around me are always trying to dominate me, and I don't know exactly why. From conversations where they try to silence me to ordering me to do things they think are humiliating (which they eventually become). Maybe it's because I have a very friendly and charismatic personality?
With friends, when we have arguments, fights, etc., they always use some kind of dominance attempt (like I feel like they think I'm inferior or something like that), in addition to speaking in a way that clearly scares anyone, they normally use the physical factor. A lots of different people do the same thing, so could it be the way I act? Maybe I come across as being too helpless and vulnerable?
In my case, I probably have no way out now, but I want to understand how to not "trigger" this behavior in others in the future, since it seems like every person I meet will eventually try to be dominant with me too.
How can I gain more respect from others?
How can I find people at respect me?
How to never be seen like a "submissive" person?
|
2025-06-15T20:02:56
|
1lc9kzp
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Today I realize that people don’t remember your mistakes
|
I apologized to someone today wrote a whole 4 long paragraph apologizing and they responded with
"I forgot you even did that bro it's not that big of a deal"
And I responded with
"Oh"
"Well I still stand by my apology@
|
2025-06-16T01:08:43
|
1lcg53w
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
What to do when people give a soft rejection (I would but...)
|
When I invite friends / people I'm trying to be better friends with to something, I rarely get a no, but a soft excuse, often things that can be resolved. I often offer to help but I feel this makes people uncomfortable when they just don't want to go.
Ex: Strong acquaintance (see frequently in larger group, not in smaller circles) was talking about doing trivia with some friends of mine. I texted day of, she said she would but was having car issues. I offered to pick her up and she didn't reply
I feel she's been engaging with me less since then.
This also happened recently with a close friend. There was an event I was excited about that I had talked with him about in person, months before. He said sounds cool, but didn't seem as excited. Hit him up the week before asked if he wanted to join. He said he would, but he's busy that weekend. I was like ah we can go the next weekend if it's easier. He said ah, I'll have to get back to you on that.
At that point a I figured he didn't want to go but I felt obligated to check in again the next week to which he replied he wishes but was pretty busy.
Am I in the wrong to offer solutions / check in on unenthusiastic maybes, or should I take any soft no as a no and don't push?
|
2025-06-16T05:15:47
|
1lckmev
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Outgrowing friendship....
|
I have this friend group of mine since elementary school. 4 of us practically watched each other grow up. Now we are in adulthood and one of us is getting married this year. All I learned about happiness, support and trust was because of them. Till 2023, all was fine.
Whatever makes two people "best friends", we went above and beyond everything. From late night conversations to understanding each other's growing pains, we did it all.
But last year, something changed for me. I realized they didn't hold the same political and religious values as me. Technically I knew this from before but last year my rose coloured glasses were snapped in two. When I was barely functioning seeing the carnage outside my home, when the values I believed in and held dear to my heart were being publically decimated, they were going on with normal lives. Their political leaning and total indifference to my intellectual demands felt like a complete betrayal to me. My love for them died a slow death. It was excruciating to go through.
They were a part of my identity. Now, distancing from them feels like I am the one who's betraying them. They keep involving me into matters thinking I am still one of them. But, dodging every single meetup is taking a toll on me. I can't forget the hurt and pain I've dealt with alone. Nor can I turn a blind eye to who they are anymore. My ability to trust them has vanished. I just cant bring myself to fake it around them. I can do it with everyone except them. They had access to all the corners of my heart. Faking surface level interactions is impossible with them.
They have sensed something shifted. But, it all feels messy for me. Am I being ungrateful to become cold for something they didnt even consciously do? After years of being good friends, outgrowing them in this tragic way wasnt what I had in mind. I can't fully let them go because they wont leave me easily. But, staying with them feels like lying to myself that I still care the way I did in the past. I dont anymore.
|
2025-06-16T12:23:59
|
1lcrevg
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Improving my listening and communication
|
Hi everyone,
As the title suggests, I'm looking for methods to improve my listening and communication skills. Here's some background about me: I recently started my job a few months ago as an engineer. I've noticed that I struggle to remember things that were said not long ago or sometimes mishear details, which ultimately leads to misunderstandings with my colleagues or getting things wrong.
I also find it difficult to explain things clearly when presenting or talking about work. English is not my first language, which I believe might be contributing to the issue.
For example, my boss once asked me to get a 2-litre Coke for a small party, but I thought he said two 2-litre Cokes. In another instance, during a discussion about a technical topic, I realized I didn’t fully grasp the entire story or context, even though I was trying to follow along.
These might seem like small issues, but I’m worried that if I don’t improve my listening and communication skills, it could negatively impact my career in the long run.
Has anyone else experienced something similar? Do you have any advice or strategies that worked for you?
Thanks in advance!
|
2025-06-16T18:10:24
|
1ld0650
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Just finished high school with no friends — how to survive the summer and stay motivated?
|
Hey Reddit,
I just graduated from high school, but I have literally no friends. Over the last year, I felt really isolated from my classmates — some former friends distanced themselves, and a core group kind of controls the social scene, where I just don’t fit in. Now that school is over, I’m facing the summer with no social plans or close people around.
I’m really passionate about technology, programming, and learning new skills. I also want to start building my own business someday. My goal is to get into university (aiming for a technical university), develop myself professionally, and eventually grow a successful career that combines tech and entrepreneurship. I want to use this summer to focus on myself, study, and work toward these goals.
Still, sometimes the loneliness hits hard. It’s tough to stay positive when I have so much free time and no one to hang out with.
Has anyone else been in a similar situation? How did you spend your summer after finishing school without friends? Any advice on how to stay motivated, enjoy your own company, or maybe even meet new people who share your interests?
Thanks in advance for any advice or support
|
2025-06-16T17:53:37
|
1lczpdw
| 0 | 0 |
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