subreddit
string | title
string | text
string | created_utc
string | id
string | alexithymia
int64 | adhd_risk
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socialskills
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How do I tell a close friend their breath stinks
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I (F20) am in college and one of my closest friends has stank breath. He has braces so that may have something to do with it but it’s BAD. This is has been an issue for a few months. I struggle to look at him when he speaks. How should I handle this? I’ve debated making a fake Instagram account to anonymously tell him, but that feels crazy. Any advice…
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2025-06-19T22:26:39
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1lfnx8p
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
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I get accused of being too serious at work, what can I do?
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I’m always in a good mood and down to joke around and have fun it’s just that most of my peers’ jokes/humor I don’t find entertaining? I’m really having trouble pinpointing what it is but sometimes it’s hard to engage with them and I come off as being too mature and professional.
I have trouble being “fake” and laughing at stuff I don’t find funny. Part of me feels like this is all they got and they make the most of it while I have a decent social life outside of work I can be silly and whimsical there.
Maybe it’s just a comfortability thing since when I started I was accused of being drunk/on drugs at work when I was super enthusiastic and animated. But I had only smoked weed and was happy to be training someone and it was perceived as being suspicious. Can anyone relate to this ?
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2025-06-20T15:48:15
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1lg7cpr
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Is this a wise move ? Or should i look at other alternative ways ?
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since past year i have lost some of my friendships and struggle to replace them. Thats why i decided to try the app Discord and make some real life friends based on common interests such as anime manga literature movies series music pets etc. I also have to say that even though i sometimes play games i usually play single player games. Thats the main reasons i have selected this certain app in particular.However by joining servers ive been noticing that most people there are playing online games with each other so i feel awkward talking to them because they mostly talk about the games they play. What should i do.
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2025-06-20T15:32:59
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1lg6z1e
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Why would someone do this?
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A friend knows I’m travelling with people and can’t make calls obviously due to busy travelling schedule, time difference and being around others
Yet he texts me like he needs to talk about something urgent & I excuse myself from everyone for a few minutes to make the call only for him to say there’s nothing and he just wanted to talk generally?!
He asked me previously too & I had said I can’t talk as I’m on a trip so when he texted again to call I had assumed it would be urgent or important…
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2025-06-20T11:39:53
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1lg1u33
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Should I let their true colors show first before I interact ?
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School just started with many new transferee (about 60%) classmates with some old acquaintances I don't really find deep connections with. My question is wether I first let the new kids in town show their true personalities and I just obeserve before I make moves and befriend them so that I can make better first impressions or should I just start talking to them while they are still adjusting so that I look welcoming. I am just scared of gambling with first impressions
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2025-06-20T13:57:47
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1lg4nrr
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
I almost got into a good friend group.
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I'm 48, and I've always struggled to make friends. There's this woman at work, super outgoing, a real social butterfly. She invited some of us over to her pool one hot day. Then there was a big 4th of July party. And one more chill day. I had a blast! We drank, laughed a ton, and there were nice hugs when everyone left. It felt so good to be included with such a nice group of people.
But then, no more invites. I got to go three times. I'd hear people at work talking about the weekend get-togethers I wasn't even told about. Now they make plans right in front of me, but I'm never invited. It stings a little. Honestly, I wish they'd just do it behind my back. I get along with everyone at work, and I think I'm a decent person. I guess they're just coworkers or acquaintances, not the friends I thought I had for a bit.
I am back to spending most weekends alone with my hobbies and my cat.
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2025-06-19T06:29:07
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1lf3sff
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Do chatbots actually help improve social skills?
|
Do you think using AI chatbots can actually help improve social skills? I've been using them to practice things like jumping into group conversations or responding more naturally without overthinking. I set up fake group chats and tried to find the right moments to speak, then paused to reflect on what worked and what didn't. I've also used voice chat features just to get more comfortable talking out loud. It's definitely not the same as real interaction, but it helped me feel a little less tense in social settings.
I've tried a few free tools like Nectar, Replika, and ChatGPT, and for someone on a tight budget, this is a good catch and I mean therapy is better but I don't have the means to do so, so I just depend on these for now. Has anyone else here done this or is it just me who's super socially-awkward to the point that this girl needs a chatbot to practice speaking lol
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2025-06-20T12:30:18
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1lg2s8i
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
I lost my job over social anxiety/ poor social skills. What are some constructive ways to improve when I can't read people?
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I worked in accounting as I enjoy numbers and don't have good social skills. I am in my early 20s and always struggled making friends. I currently have 2 close friends and a significant other. At my last job, I tried connecting and talking more with coworkers, determined not to be quiet and reserved. I thought I was doing good at work and always heard good things about my performance, but I was recently let go for "making everyone around me miserable" and "sucking the joy out of any room I enter". (Direct quote from HR). I was never given a warning either, so I didn't know this was something I was unintentionally doing or something I needed to improve on. I have reached out to people for feedback and have gotten that I'm bad at reading people and often see things black and white. It does seem like the majority of my old coworkers genuinely miss me. I signed up for toastmasters and attend therapy, but what are some other ways to improve in an office setting and learn social skills?
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2025-06-19T15:52:52
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1lfe9x2
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
I asked a friend to hang out, then they said to let them know when I want to hang out next?
|
Hey, I basically asked an acquaintance to hang out and it went really well. I feel like we clicked and had a solid conversation where we learned a lot about each other. They were nice, funny, respectful, and asked me questions as much as I asked questions. Afterwards, they texted me saying "I had a great time, let me know if you want to hang out again sometime!" and I replied saying "I had a great time as well, I'd definitely like to hang again" or something like that.
Im a little confused because if I was the one to make the first invitation, isnt it on them to make the next one? I feel this kind of puts the ball in their court because I would need to take the initiative to meet again. I dont know if Im totally overthinking this or if its a sign of disinterest, maybe they are just bad at initiating and planning things. Would like some other perspective!
Edit: I want to clarify that I am a woman, the friend is also a woman. I can see why the context matters and Im sorry for any confusion! It was purely platonic
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2025-06-19T21:30:45
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1lfmndk
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
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How do you tell if someone doesn’t want to text you?
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so I added this friend on Snapchat a while ago and he added me back. but when we talk I’m usually the only one starting the conversation, or I’m usually talking more. the only time he starts a text is sometimes to say good morning. I was starting to wonder if he’s secretly annoyed and doesn’t want to talk to me, or if he’s a dry texter. i don’t know if I’m overthinking or if I’m a nuisance. what do you guys think? (I have a habit of overthinking, so that might be it. but I’m not very good at social queues)
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2025-06-20T04:50:23
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1lfvfby
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
How can i make people want to interact with me
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Im not good with social skills but i try
I talk to people with energy and i bring up good topics, i laugh, i play, i share and some people dig that. But after that, its just silence.
Barely anyone texts back, im tired of texting first only for a 50% of them responding and then i get hit with "im busy" or "maybe some other time".
I dont chase validation or attention i just want to spend my spare time with people but it seems like they dont
And ive talked about this with some people and they always say "u gotta find ur people"
like ive been searching for those people my entire life and i still cant find em. So i must be doing something wrong. How can i get people excited to talk to me? Why dont people miss me when im gone? Why doesnt anyone wanns connect?
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2025-06-20T00:39:09
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1lfqqbw
| 0 | 1 |
socialskills
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How do I stop being so loud when I'm excited?
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Whenever I'm talking to friends either online or in person and I feel comfortable, I get really loud and pretty annoying to be around. How can I be more pleasant to interact with? Its very hard for me to be mindful in those scenarios because I'm the most mindful when I'm not comfortable. When I feel comfortable in the places I interact in, the conscious effort of thinking about what I say and do goes away.
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2025-06-19T21:09:32
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1lfm57p
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
College friend group
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So I’m in college rn and have no friends and I’m very desperate.
I struggled a lot with anxiety and adhd so I’m living in my past.
I ruined my reputation in my professional frat by acting desperate and clingy and calling people to hang out when I share very little in common.
I found this gaming group and we share gaming as a common interest and feel like there may be some potential. I did act desperate in the beginning but immediately cut it off to be respectful. I’m giving it time to grow but is it possible to see myself closer in a year from now?
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2025-06-20T01:57:34
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1lfs9fo
| 0 | 1 |
socialskills
|
what do you do when you find it difficult to make eye contact with people？
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how can i overcome the embarrassment of looking at people's faces while walking or talking？
when my gaze meets someone's even for a second, i immediately look away and look somewhere else
it feels like everyone is judging
if you have had similar experiences, how did you overcome it？
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2025-06-19T16:38:52
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1lffevn
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
what do you do at a sleep over with a friend as an adult?
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I (21F) made a new friend (24F) this year and she asked if I wanted to have a sleepover this weekend. I said yes bc I enjoy spending time with her but now I’m not sure what it will be like? I haven’t had a sleepover since my teens (like 16-17ish) and was under the impression adults didn’t even do sleepovers. need help, thanks!
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2025-06-18T23:30:13
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1levy49
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Should I contact friend?
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I have a friend who I feel like I’m always the one contacting them. Compared to me they have a lot more drama in their lives so I have always felt lesser than them. I think the reason they don’t want to contact me is because they think I’m boring and I don’t blame them but I also think they don’t treat me right? Last time they talked I asked them to hangout and they didn’t seem like they wanted to hangout with me since they were giving me unclear timelines so I ended up leaving them on read. This was a few months ago. In college I’ve made some friends and I don’t feel like I’m boring around them since they are a lot less drama so it’s mostly an issue with this friend. Should I contact them to hangout now that it’s summer and I have no one to hangout with?
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2025-06-20T07:28:43
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1lfxwgx
| 1 | 0 |
socialskills
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Help with presentation
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I study a major that has frequent presentation assignments and they worth a lot for our grades. Recently I've been experiencing spikes in anxiety during them even though I've memorised and recited the content.
How do I fix this? I've felt it ever since junior high but they've never been this bad before.
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2025-06-20T07:17:40
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1lfxqog
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
how to socialize with people who aren't open to talking to you?
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you know those times where you feel outcasted so you try to socialize with the people in the room... but they kinda have their own established clique going on so they're not really open to befriending you back?
i wonder if there's a way around these scenarios.
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2025-06-20T00:39:57
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1lfqqvr
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
How can I fix my avoidance
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Ive known this about myself for a long time, and recently it’s starting to make me worry. I do have friends and I would say I have good communication skill. Not just me but others have said they enjoy being around me. But the problem I face is that I don’t take initiative with people. I don’t invite people to do things outside of dinner, I don’t make plans with anyone, I don’t join things, hardly send texts. Even to the extent that the thought of apply for a new job I feel myself against doing. I do love meeting new people, I love talking about things and getting to know and understand people. Learning about someone is my favorite thing, and being someone people can turn to. But it seems like in my mind I have something that dissuades me from initiating anything and I either expect or only am able to respond to someone who initiates with me. I feel like it really holds me back from making deeper connections because I’m afraid people would interpret it as me not caring. When people do imitate with me I am able to be normal and social in every way for that time. Idk what to make of it.
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2025-06-20T01:49:20
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1lfs3ua
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Texting sucks, much better to talk in person
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I don’t like texting mostly because it’s making me paranoid. The only thing it’s useful for is setting up events like a date for example or meeting up. Whenever I text someone it feels like am bothering them in their time not knowing what they are doing in the moment and its dreadful waiting for a reply since I have no clue whether they are going to reply or not. I’d rather call someone than to text.
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2025-06-19T06:17:13
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1lf3ls9
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
How do you socialize at work?
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I find that I’m generally pretty good at, and enjoy, 1-on-1 conversations when given enough time to “warm up” (think: getting lunch together, going for coffee together, working on a long task together, etc).
In this type of setting, I’m interested, willing to be vulnerable, and usually build stronger relationships.
However, I noticed that I struggle to strike up a conversation in certain instances such as:
- When I’m in the elevator with the company’s founder (whom I greatly admire)
- When I’m in the pantry and there is a group of co-workers talking away
- When I cross paths with certain colleagues in the hallway
I know it’s not ideal to have a “long” conversation in these instances per se, but I feel there’s a certain degree of socializing that can be done in these instances that is a little bit more than “small talk.”
I ask because I don’t want to be interpreted as awkward or stand offish.
So, how do you socialize at work?
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2025-06-19T14:26:43
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1lfc5mf
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Memory issues
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I’m looking for a really good neurologist in Dubai who specializes in memory problems and cognitive functions.
Lately, I’ve been having issues with my memory and especially with finding the right words when I speak — even though I know the language very well. It feels like something is off, and I would really like to get a proper evaluation.
If anyone has personal recommendations or experience with a specialist in this area, I’d really appreciate your help.
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2025-06-20T03:29:28
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1lftzw9
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
I always end up feeling ignored by friends is it me or them? How do I stop feeling hatred for them?
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I am facing a certain type of problems in my friendships which eventually generates disliking for them.
So, Whenever I make a new friend, I spend good time with them, and think that I have finally found another best friend in the initiall phase. But after a while, it’s like they stop caring. They don’t call or reach out to me anymore, maybe because i am busy most of the time and I don't want such a friendship in which we both stick to each other all the time. Then I start thinking "Why should I be the one to always initiate or approach?" and this slowly turns into disconnection and I don't want to talk to them(maybe ego?).
I can’t tell if I’m overthinking it, if I expect too much, or if they were never really my friends to begin with. Idk if I’m doing something wrong?Has anyone else dealt with this? How do you handle this kind of feelings?
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2025-06-19T21:11:18
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1lfm6q4
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Laughing stock
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Ive begun to realize that no matter what group I'm in, I always manage to make myself the laughing stock.
I have really bad self esteem issues, so it's made it really hard to find friends. When I find a group I genuinely fit in with, it's amazing. I've had this group for three years, and they're the best people I've known. I know they don't mean it, but no matter what I've felt like the joke.
I know some people just dont like being vented to, or hearing other peoples complaints, maybe I ranted too much, but whenever I make a brief comment like maybe I got annoyed with the weather, or I get a bad grade, it's never met with the same response as when I get made fun of.
My other friends also rant about their day sometimes, that's what friends do right? Be a shoulder to lean on, and they do act that way. Just not with me most of the time. The only response that receiveds the most attention is when I act like a fool.
I'm pretty sure I put myself in this situation, since I used to be way more unhappier back then, and I never had anyone to express my emotions with, so maybe they were just desensitized? It's happened twice with another group I left, except it used to be more extreme.
I feel like a jester, trying to find ways to make myself look stupid to get attention, and I've stopped talking about anything negative, but sometimes I really need someone, and it's been months without actually expressing how I feel.
Is there a way to reverse the role I have in my group? (I want to learn how to change the role I have, how to socialize in different way.)
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2025-06-20T02:52:59
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1lftbg1
| 0 | 1 |
socialskills
|
Meeting relatives after 8 years , need advice
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In a 15 days I’m going to visit my home country and meet relatives I haven’t seen in almost 8 years The last time I was with them I had some really embarrassing moments and I’m worried they still remember that
Any advice on how to deal with them and not feel super awkward?
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2025-06-19T20:38:01
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1lfle4o
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
How to say no to my friends mum won’t stop coming over
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My mum and me are introverts and rarely like people over and my best friend occasionally gets invited over but ever since my bsfs mum met mine,she persistently decides to come over and doesn’t even ask but decides to stay for hours multiple times a week and me and my mum genuinely get so incredibly drained and feel like we can’t say no because she asks almost daily and they self insert themselves into our daily lives when I have other friends and a whole boyfriend I wanna see daily that I am unable to see now because they wanna come over everyday for hours and me and my mum can’t say no because half of the time she doesn’t even ask and just appears.
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2025-06-19T15:09:04
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1lfd799
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
How to make friends at new school?
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I am transferring from a private school to a public school this going into 11th grade. My reasons for transferring are many academic based but also have social roots aswell (I can give more context if needed). Anyways, up until 8th grade I went to public school with many of the kids that go to the high school I am transferring to but have not kept up with any of them in the 3 years we’ve been apart. How do I begin meeting and hanging out with kids from this school without it being weird? In particular, I am aware that many of them flood a specific beach on 4th of July then go party afterwards and if I could have a part in this that would be great. I am not playing any sports for the school so I would like to establish some connections now during the summer so I can be prepared for the first day and start off well. Hope I explained that well enough any advice is appreciated!
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2025-06-19T21:56:34
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1lfn8r9
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
How do I find friends when I have social anxiety?
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I asked this a few times on different apps and sites and all the responses i got were just "go out to clubs or concerts" or "join a facebook group about your hobby!" BUT the thing is that i am a loser with social anxiety. How do I find friends then? I barely go out and people at my school don't like me + they all already have friend groups. I don't have any hobbies to share with people and im too scared to actually approach people. I was fine with having no one to talk to but for the last 2 years i started feeling more and more lonely. How can I find friends then?
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2025-06-19T17:30:59
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1lfgqxp
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
"People don't care if you're interesting they care how you make them feel"
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I saw this on a closed thread responding to people who feel they are "boring". I feel I'm boring to other people. Boring until I speak about my ideas then I'm too much or not in their "niche".
I think it's toxic to be excited that you can just make people feel nice and that's you're role! Congratulations! Narcissism and more user-style personalities are prevalent. You're both valuable based on what and how you give AND how you take.
I was a people pleaser and it leads nowhere good... inevitably the most toxic people will find you and use you until you have nothing left for the good people that need you later. (Until you recover and recognize the cycle).
I was going to ask the community, how to handle it when people disregard you for being too "boring". I enjoy a simple life. My past is anything but boring, been there done that.
But even family expects my (nuclear) family to be constantly engaged with wild new adventures and drama and we just aren't. I realized while looking into it, I don't care for those relationships. I did until I realized we just don't value the same things. They are always seeking out problems and chaos and I'm not. It's not "boring" it's order and routine we have worked hard for and are happy with.
So what do you think? Would you approach it differently if someone thinks you're boring? Make it about them? Or just make distance?
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2025-06-18T22:09:23
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1leu52d
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Meeting new people is tiring
|
Meeting new people is so tiring... so i started to join some local small workshops where small talk isn't the core, but you meet like minded people who are interested in doing crafty things. Then there's less pressure to fill the space with small talk.
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2025-06-19T21:00:43
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1lflxls
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
How do I meet new people with about 3hrs/week of available time?
|
I work weekends, so that's strike 1. "12" hour shifts, but for me (management/salary) my hours are roughly 5:30am - 7 or 7:15pm. So not much time Friday - Sunday to go out.
It's summer break so my 11yo daughter is with me Monday - Thursday (goes to her mom's on weekends). I suppose time will open back up in the fall but that'll just be school hours where I'm alone. Wouldn't trade my time with her for anything in the world but that's strike 2 on my social life.
I don't know, strike 3 is that I'm socially awkward anyway?
But my only "me" time is from the time my daughter's mom picks her up on Thursdays until I go to bed. About 3-3 1/2 hours on Thursday evenings. Not exactly prime time for events and whatnot.
We do swap Mondays with our daughter though so I'm on my own ever other Monday but still not exactly a popular time for social things.
Still wrapping my mind around separation/divorce. I dug myself into a whole the last 17 years together where I allowed my friend group to devolve into whoever my wife's friends were.
Am I just screwed?
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2025-06-20T00:35:27
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1lfqnom
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Need help with talking with others
|
Whenever I'm with someone, I literally don't know what to say or talk about. Maybe one or two things, but I just don't know what to say. There are someone people who just know how to keep the conversation going and keep others engaged. How can I be like them?
I don't want to sound dumb or childish in front of others.
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2025-06-19T14:49:15
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1lfcpga
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
How can I improve my social skills?
|
I’m a 21-year-old guy who just finished college. I made a good number of friends during school, but most of our conversations were just silly stuff or complaining about classes and professors. Now that I’m out in the real world, I feel like I don’t know how to have more serious or “adult” conversations.
I struggle to talk about real life issues or things going on in the world. It might be because I grew up comfortable or maybe I’m just young, but I often feel like I have nothing meaningful to say. Outside of making jokes or talking about things we have in common, I don’t know how to keep a conversation going.
Even with people my age, especially girls, I sometimes get awkward or come off as dry. The weird part is that I can talk for hours with close friends about random stuff, but when it comes to coworkers or new people, I freeze up and it feels awkward.
Another thing I struggle with is being able to properly articulate myself. I often know what I want to say in my head, but when I try to express it, it doesn’t come out the way I intended. This makes conversations feel even harder.
I think part of the problem is that I don’t have a lot of hobbies or interests like sports or music that most people talk about. I really want to improve and be able to hold good conversations with different types of people, as well as learn how to express myself more clearly and confidently.
Any tips or advice would help a lot.
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2025-06-20T00:12:03
|
1lfq6hl
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Who has right of way on a sidewalk? (Among pedestrians).
|
US.
I'm always confused on who to yield to or what to do when approaching others on the sidewalk.
I try to follow rules of the road, staying on the left side of the sidewalk and passing others going the same direction as me on the left.
But sometimes oncoming "traffic" walks on the left side so that we'd collide if one of us didn't move.
You also have cases of people jogging or running vs people walking.
And groups of people who block the entire sidewalk.
I'm struggling to find clear rules for this, but if someone doesn't yield, there will be a collision
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2025-06-19T19:31:47
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1lfjsq5
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
10 minutes early, just on time, or late?
|
I'm genuinely interested. Who are the people who always show up 10 minutes early to everything, who shows up exactly on time, and who shows up "when they feel like it" or runs late? What is your thought process about timing and events/appointments?
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2025-06-19T23:01:24
|
1lfoooq
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
How to set boundary with hostile people
|
I have bad intuition for social skills and i am not witty in social. And I don't do quick comeback.
In my chilhood, bec of my quiet weak nature, i got bullied.
But in my adulthood, because of my chilhood bully experience, I got agitated so easily, and I overthink if someone is disrespecting me.
I can't find the balance between passive and overreaction.
What happens is when someone teased me, I did not say anything until It became too bad that I could not take it, and then I respond very abruptly like loud and very confrontational.
I don't know how to be that people respect me and not makes fun of me without me having to be confrontational and have bad blood.
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2025-06-19T18:29:23
|
1lfi8m9
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Not being able to connect with others because you're too stupid it’s horrible
|
I’ve always had trouble socializing because of this. It really started to become a problem in my teens, from 14 to now 21 I had literally 0 friends. School is the only place I feel on par with others, otherwise I’m a complete idiot who can't do anything by myself. Facts and how people treat me confirm this. I’m clumsy and with very low street smart like a nerd, but without the smart part. Like, even holding a basic conversation is hard cause my brain is silent when I talk to people, i’m too slow and stupid compared to others.
I’m writing this post because I saw one in another subreddit that made me sad: a guy who was obviously dumb, more than me, with terrible grammar and little depth of reasoning who said he couldn't socialize, that he tried but couldn't because he was ignored or made fun of. But he's too stupid to even realize that he's stupid. In my case, a strong natural introversion also certainly had an influence, I don't attribute everything to my stupidity which fortunately is not really that serious. It’s horrible to be like this and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.
Is there anyone else who feels like me? Struggling to connect with others because you’re stupid?
sorry if I made some mistakes but english is not my first language
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2025-06-18T23:42:58
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1lew7un
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Is it rude to leave a wedding early?
|
My one friend is getting married in 2 weeks.
I quit drinking 4 months ago. I haven’t been to any major functions since quitting, so I don’t know how I would react.
It’s an open bar, and a lot of 25 year olds. Would it be rude to leave after the ceremony and dinner/cake cutting?
I’ve been to a couple of weddings, and got drunk at every single one, and danced. Obviously that isn’t an option now
I know seeing everyone drink and dance is going to make me want to drink…
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2025-06-18T22:27:50
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1leukad
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
How to deal with passive aggressive pick on
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Hello, I played game with another girl I met online who's super sweet and nice and she introduce me to this group and we all play game(mostly Overwatch) together. Most of them are nice except this one guy who is in the group way before me. He's a gloater and would always make other people look bad by "jokingly" focus on people's bad gameplay.
We would sometimes play against each other and after the match he would make sure to mention that he has dominated the fight against the other player. In my opinion he is pretty ok at the game but pretty much got outshone by everyone else, me being a only support player would even sometimes beat him when he was playing his best dps character. I caught on to his toxic antics really early on and tried to ignore it. I try to shift the focus from his gloating into complimenting the other people's plays when he try to gloat and I guess it did work out for a while. However, one time I was really upset from the game before as my team lost pretty badly and him keep gloating about how good he was. The match after, the best player in the whole group is on my team instead and of course, we got carried and won. Me, being upset at him from last match, so I talked toxically back the same way he did to me and others- something along the line of "oh look who got 2-12" (2 kills 12 deaths). Since then he becomes much more toxic toward me but not in the way other would notice if not paying attention. He would say "oh look who's playing mercy" - mercy is considered a weak and no skill character, or sometimes T-bag me after he killed me, and a lot of other passive aggressive comments specifically to me. I told the girl friend and I think she acknowledged it? I'm not sure if she did say anything to him but he continue being toxic toward me. Maybe because it's passing comments that others dont notice but it was definitely direct toward me. The rest of the group seems to be fine with it or doesn't care much. Maybe I'm too sensitive but I really don't know how to deal with it...
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2025-06-19T17:34:09
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1lfgttr
| 0 | 1 |
socialskills
|
How do i stop myself from revealing vain/bragging information to people?
|
I don't know how to keep my mouth shut; it's not necessarily gossip-related, I've already learned that it's best to stay out of that, but it sometimes is. It's more to do with myself: like opportunities or personal information that could get a reaction. It might be related to boredom or a lack of personality, and trying to create a persona. I'm not sure but I know it's not helpful and sometimes bites me in the ass but I can't help myself.
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2025-06-19T21:09:47
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1lfm5fm
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Learning to listen made me more social than any “trick” ever did
|
For a long time, I thought being social meant saying the right things. Witty comebacks, funny stories, confidence tricks. But what actually changed everything for me was… just listening. Fully, without thinking about what to say next. No agenda, no trying to impress.
When I started doing that actually focusing on the other person, noticing how they speak, what they care about it was like something unlocked. People started opening up more. I felt less pressure. The conversation just flowed.
It sounds simple, almost too simple, but it really shifted how I connect with people. I don’t get nervous in social settings anymore. I just show up, stay present, and listen.
Anyone else had a similar shift? Or tried this and noticed a difference?
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2025-06-18T07:46:06
|
1leb8l8
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
How can I stop being so awkward?
|
Whenever I’m having a conversation with someone I feel like I just don’t know what to say to keep the conversation going and it’s so embarrassing. And I’m just awkward in general lol how do I become more nonchalant 😭
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2025-06-19T20:56:20
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1lflttf
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Struggling to Maintain Friendships
|
Hi everyone!
I’ve been having a hard time getting people involved in the activities I organize. I’m always the one who sends the first message and invites others to do something. I try to stay in touch with most of my friends at least once a year. I also have a group chat with some of them, but every time I suggest something, no one replies or they’re already busy.
Lately, I feel like I’m putting in a lot of effort for nothing, just hoping to see my friends. Most of the time, they don’t respond in the group chat, or they’re always unavailable. A few days ago, a friend backed out of our summer trip after I’d put a lot of time and energy into planning it. That really brought me down.
I don’t know what to do anymore. If I don't message first, I just disappear. I don’t have a close family, and I don’t have a partner, so my friends are basically my only social connection. When this doesn’t work out, I feel very alone but I have no choice to keep trying from time to time.
My friendships always fade after a few years when they start to be distant, I respect that and I let it go. Because of that, I know I'm not the lovable person but I'm always willing to improve.
How can I improve things? Am I coming across as too needy? I’m really unsure of what to do to be a better person.
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2025-06-19T17:01:42
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1lffztw
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
I keep messing up first impressions and it’s getting to me
|
So here’s the situation. When I talk to people online first, I’m confident. I’m funny, real, even borderline charismatic sometimes. I feel like myself. But the moment I meet someone in person for the first time, especially if we didn’t connect online first, I shut down. I go quiet, awkward, overly self-aware. My brain just freezes and I feel like I’m watching myself flop in real time.
And after those moments, I just feel defeated. Like I fcked up an opportunity to be real, to make a friend, or even just to leave a good impression. I replay it in my head and get mad because I know I’m not that awkward. I just become that way in person, and it sucks and i don’t want to pretend to be confident or fake it. I just want to feel like the same “me” that exists online, but face-to-face. Has anyone else gone through this and actually improved? I’d love to hear how you pushed past it, even if it was slow progress.
Throw whatever advice, rants, or relatable experiences at me. I’m tired of feeling like I’m sabotaging my own social life.
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2025-06-19T16:12:36
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1lfermv
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Constantly disrespected by the "strong" friend in the friendgroup
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I'm a 17M and I always struggled with standing up for myself and confront people that disrespect me (kinda).
My current problem here is that my "friend" who is 19 year old, taller, smarter and bigger than me is constantly disrespecting me with pushes, insults, and sometimes threats.
Sometimes I confront him, mentioning some embarrasing things he had done in the past but it seems to not work.
I really want some advice in a situation like this, I'm thinking about engaging in a physical confrotation but I'm afraid im too weak
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2025-06-19T19:53:40
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1lfkber
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Feel like sharing something in a social circle but scared I may end up humiliating myself
|
Whenever, I'm in a social circle or group and someone verbally speaks and covers and explains about a main topic, somewhere along the way, when a certain point is being mentioned that is equvilant with my personal experiences or if its other points I wanted to include and to share along with that topic to use an example, I always and often keep hesitating to cease on the opportunity and miss, because I don't want to end up humiliating myself for saying the wrong things or points that is irrelevant to the discussion and have people laughing or have an awkward silence which has happened to me a few times.
How exactly do I overcome this fear, because I'm tired of allowing this from holding me back whenever I see an opportunity to share something valuable.
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2025-06-19T17:40:16
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1lfgzbi
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
How do I stop being annoying and loud around my friends during school?
|
So I have school one time a week and for the past couple of weeks, during the lessons, I have been very annoying and loud. I get very hyper, I scream laugh, I make jokes all the time and I just can't control myself. The group that I sit with laughs with me, but I'm just scared that I'm being hyper a bit too much. And I don't want to annoy all of my other classmates.
The school day lasts around 7 hours and in those 7 hours there is no break of my being hyper. I just forget that I'm in school and my mind keeps racing and I can't get myself to calm down. When I don't have school I'm very lonely, I don't really hang out with people and I first did not have any friends until this month. So maybe that has to do something with me being too hyper.
Anyway, do you maybe have some tips for me on how to calm myself down a bit?
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2025-06-19T16:31:06
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1lff86e
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
How can I stop being so antisocial/a bad friend?
|
I’m the friend that never invites anyone to hang out and only goes places when invited. I know this is sucky behavior and I’m trying tl be better at it. It’s not because I hate my friends or don’t enjoy their company, but I just feel so… antisocial? Like I don’t actually WANT to go out unless somebody asks. Asking someone to hang out and actually going to said event is SO fucking stressful for me. But at the same time, I get super lonely when I’m on my own? And I like hanging out with my friends?
I’ve tried many times to make it easier. Last year I really did try to make an effort. I tried to at least see my friends every other month (they live far away which kind of adds to the stress). Exposure therapy, right?
It never got easier. I always show up to the function super stressed out regardless of if I’m the one to send the invite or not. This year I just completely stopped trying. I’m less stressed but it’s definitely effecting my mental health. I’m lonely and I hate it. Being with my friends makes me feel more alive, but it also stresses me the fuck out. I hate it. I wish I could just be normal and not stressed the fuck out by socializing.
If exposure therapy isn’t working, what should I try?
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2025-06-19T05:23:05
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1lf2qqw
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Does anyone have tips on making jokes and driving a conversation?
|
For the longest time I've had the problem of making jokes to fill gaps in a conversation. Either I would talk about things other people find boring. I can't seem to flesh up a topic without people being confused. I also struggle starting a conversation and notice a lot of people do it with small talk jokes.
Unfortunately, the only jokes I know are ones that are in the moment and it's usually when something happens within the facinity between me and the other person.
I figure the 2 things I need to improve on is:
\- Jokes
\- Driving a conversation better with less confusion
Does anyone have any tips on what I can do or practice to do these things on the fly?
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2025-06-19T07:18:00
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1lf4jxs
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Do you ever hate being alone with no friends but you also hate trying to make them and maintain a friendship?
|
When I (36f) was young I used to get bullied and didn't have a lot of friends. But the ones I did have I never felt like I was truly a friend with. Because we'd all hang out in a group and I always felt like they were more friends with each other than me I don't know how to put it into words or explain the way I felt so that's the best I can do. Then eventually myself and those people would stop being friends but they'd remain friends with each other.
It really hurt me and felt awful still does to this day. So anyways over the years I tried to make other friends but they were never the right people for myself and nor I for them i feel. Leaving me to be alone a lot with my elderly parents that I currently live with as my late husband passed away 9 years ago. Which affected me and turned me into an introvert who learn to be by myself, find ways to entertain myself, and basically just began watching things on repeat that i like aka tv shows movies etc.
Then I began not wanting to make friends or try to maintain them because my brain developed to be a certain way where I struggle to socialize along with a couple other things that are hard to explain to people unless you're in my mind experiencing it as me. I don't really laugh at things I just pretend and I don't know why I don't laugh or find things funny that I should. Not only that but I struggled to keep a conversation going because I never know what to say next It sucks. So some days I'll want to have a friend to hang out with and do stuff with.
But then other days I'm like do I really want to try and make friends and do all that work plus I don't have a lot of money so that factors into it too no vehicle to get around not many things to do or places to go since I live in a small town with mostly drug addicts everywhere. Also I don't really like sitting at people's houses and hanging out that way because it makes me very tired and bored and I just can't do it no matter what we're doing. Because I do it everyday at my house and I'd rather not at someone else's too.
Plus my elderly parents never want to go anywhere or do anything unless we have to and even then my mother wants to be quick and come home right away because she doesn't like being out. So there's that too. I will say though I do do a lot of things by myself and it's not that bad but it would be nice every now and again to have someone join you and not be alone. Has anyone else ever been this way before.
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2025-06-18T19:41:16
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1leqir7
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
My voice
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In public,my voice is either unclear,low..fast
I'm shy sometimes and have social anxiety
If I want to make my voice louder I have to think about it and actually put energy into it..
What can I do to sound clearer, louder naturally,without being conscious about it
Should I just upload videos on YT and record myself speaking?
How can I practicee
Helpp
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2025-06-19T14:32:15
|
1lfcaet
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Fashion and language wise, will I be taken seriously? Genuine question.
|
I plan to speak Early Modern English far far more often. Basically speak like Shakespeare and use terms such as m'lord, m'lady, thee, prithee, morrow, thou, all that. Do note I will be wearing something like [this](https://th.bing.com/th/id/R.6d67aa29dec99a3dbfe853ada2e83d92?rik=7Tmk2D4tJL%2fm0A&riu=http%3a%2f%2fwww.historicalmenswear.com%2fwp-content%2fuploads%2f2014%2f09%2f1745_VA.jpg&ehk=bNiVpfThcXhPktnhfh%2bR6e3QsYEHTeFvsCWHA%2bqq6bU%3d&risl=&pid=ImgRaw&r=0) give or take the powdered wig as im not totally sold on that. So will I be taken seriously?
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2025-06-19T23:01:07
|
1lfoogs
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
I tried to make a joke and got blocked. How do I learn from this?
|
I recently messaged someone on Instagram after following their profile since I wanted to start a conversation. To my surprise, they replied, and we had a short, friendly exchange.
I was trying to keep things light and positive, so I sent a reel that included a joke like: “Oh, you like my eyes? Thanks. Your kids can have them too.” I thought it was just a playful way to keep the conversation going.
How are you supposed to tell what’s okay to say in a message, especially when you barely know the person? Something that feels light or funny in your head can come off totally wrong? How do you get better at picking up on those unspoken boundaries?
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2025-06-20T00:44:55
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1lfqufy
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Struggling with Small Talks at My New Job
|
I just joined a new office, and during small talk over the past couple of days, I asked my mentor how many kids he has. It didn’t seem like a big deal at the time, but now things just feel awkward.
Also, every morning when I come in and say hi, I get this feeling like they’re expecting more, like I should be sharing something about my morning or what I’ve been up to. But I just default to “Good, how are you?” and that’s it. Then there’s silence.
I’m introverted and I honestly have no clue what to say in these moments. I don’t want to come off as cold or disinterested, I just freeze up. What are some go-to small talk topics I can try?? I’m so frustrated with myself right now.
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2025-06-19T03:15:54
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1lf0i30
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Social skills suck
|
I'm a shy and introverted person who struggles with social confidence. In conversations, I often end up just asking the other person questions, and while they open up and talk about themselves, I don’t feel comfortable sharing my own thoughts. This makes me feel like I’m just a sounding board — I listen, but I don’t feel seen or heard. Even when I have meaningful things to say or accomplishments to share, I hold back, afraid people won’t be interested or will judge me.hmm
This has made it hard for me to:
1. Make close friendships or even superficial ones.
2. Build a deeper, more open relationship with my husband
3. Stand up for myself with manipulative or toxic relatives
If you’ve ever felt this way and found a way to grow your confidence, speak up more, or feel more equal in conversations, I’d love to hear what helped you. What real-life steps or mindsets worked for you to come out of this?"
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2025-06-18T22:01:24
|
1lety8c
| 1 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Social awkward and aware
|
I say this to anyone that feels they are alone ! Yes it’s okay to be socially awkward and aware!! That combo is actually powerful as hell.🙂↔️😌
Being socially awkward just means you might overthink or fumble sometimes in social situations. Big deal.🤫
Being socially aware means you notice, reflect, and care about how you affect others and how others affect you. 💯That’s emotional intelligence.
Most people out here faking confidence aren’t even self-aware— it’s okay to have both traits working together:
Remember You’re not robotic.
Remember You’re not fake.
Remember You’re real, you notice the vibe, and you might stumble a bit trying to stay true. — & that’s OKAYYY!! Nobody is PERFECT love .
Awkward doesn’t mean broken.
Aware doesn’t mean too much.
. That’s human, baby. Words of Encouragement 🫡❤️EMBRACE IT!
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2025-06-19T03:04:47
|
1lf0ag9
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
I’m going to an international camp this summer— would it be odd to learn a greeting in multiple foreign languages?
|
Hello everyone :)
I am American, and have limited experience dealing with an international crowd. These people are to be my peers in a relatively expensive trade camp in Switzerland.
I am both excited and nervous, as where I am going is quite formal and strict. I’m sure to adapt, but I’m unused to such environments, and the people who frequent such. I tend to be quite casual and bubbly, not formal.
It is my intention to learn a few phrases in multiple foreign languages— French, German, Italian, Arabic, Hindi, Chinese, Japanese, Russian.
I am a native English speaker and speak mediocre Spanish.
And I’ll never presume a language based on where they’re from— I’d especially never presume someone speaks Hindi, as I’m aware of Indias diversity and plethora of languages.
But now I’m starting to overthink… is this idea silly? Will it be well received? I’m sure they won’t hate me for it, but will they find it odd? Will I butcher the pronunciations? I’m a bit anxious.
What do you think?
(And if this IS a good idea, what should I keep in mind? What languages to prioritize?)
DISCLAIMER: I WILL ONLY SAY THESE THINGS IF I KNOW THEYRE FROM THE COUNTRY OF WHICH THEY SPEAK THE LANGUAGE
I’m not saying Ni Hao to the first Asian person I see. They’ll have to say explicitly that they’re Chinese.
I can’t respond to comments ☹️ but I do appreciate your thoughtful responses
|
2025-06-19T01:19:21
|
1ley72w
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
what would you do if you have zero friends & everyone you meet rejects you?
|
If you've given it a lot of time, met different people, asked their advice, asked what you're doing wrong, and everyone says you're great, nothing wrong with you, they're "just busy", then from my experience, it's time to stop asking. I've encountered this situation for over 20 years. I'm now middle aged. I've also witnessed it happen to other people. If you're in a populated place with lots of choices of people, and you've tried everything, working on your personality and social skills (I even saw therapists to try to investigate the issue), everything came back that there's nothing wrong with me... then it's time to think outside the box.
In my case, it turned out it was nothing wrong with me. People are fickle & superficial. As soon as I started going gym more & getting bulkier / more manly, suddenly everyone behaved completely differently toward me. As soon as I became lean, with defined chin & lines, people all wanted to know me. Even cafe staff light up when they see me- even if I'm not smiling.
It is never discussed. You're always told "be a good person" or "whether people want to know you or not depends on personality" but my experience is the exact opposite. I was always a good decent person. The problem is that if no one wants to know you from the first moment, that's not personality (it can't be- they haven't given you enough time to get to know you yet) - it's got to be superficial as people can't know you from the first minute. That takes time. Once I realised this, everything changed.
Once I ignored all the cliche politically correct advice to "better myself internally", everything got better.
It was actually such dangerous advice as I feel I've lost the last 20 years of being completely alone.
Even my own family changed and started calling me. It was always me before.
Even now people try to deny it as they hate the thought of humans being so superficial, they make up excuses like " you're probably just more confident" - nope. I've actually taken videos of before & after. Even saying the exact same things and being the same confidence level, people react completely differently. It's almost like nowadays I can't even say anything wrong- even if I'm offensive, people don't take offense. It's such an extreme difference in how people treat me. The only change was my body fat % and muscularity - I'm big muscular and defined now.
I'm no longer alone, people respond to my texts, new people want to get to know me and agree to meet up afterwards, and people show interest in me. They reciprocate my interest and socialising is so so so much easier. People sometimes even are pro-active and contact me first. That literally NEVER happened before. I'm no longer lonely as a result of this. Not because I worked on myself internally- I'm the same person and won't allow anyone tell me otherwise or try to cover this up, as it was that advice that kept me stuck for decades.
I'm posting this, although I don't hold much hope anyone will hear it, or that it won't be deleted, but I have to put this out there to help others, and at least know I've done my part in trying.
|
2025-06-18T13:58:51
|
1lehtcm
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Why does going out make me feel drained?
|
Why does going out in public make me feel drained and is it possible to get the energy and drive of an extrovert? Even going to the store to simply buy milk. Is it a nutrition, hormone, stress problem? Or is this how introverts are?
|
2025-06-18T16:14:58
|
1lel854
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Husband’s (close) cousin said she mailed a card and money for our wedding gift but didn’t. Do people really do this?
|
I don’t know what to make of this….has this happened to you/typical behavior?
This is a close cousin of my husband’s (female). We got close during the wedding planning too. She was in our wedding but we didn’t have her pay for anything (we paid for her clothes, didn’t require hair/makeup, etc). We gave her the same gift we gave all the bridesmaids that she helped me pick : ). Covered all her meals through the different events and she either stayed at our place or we covered her hotel during the wedding time.
All this to say, we weren’t expecting a “payoff” or thinking what she would gift us. But the wedding came and went. Then she emailed asking what we still “needed” and if we said nothing then “money it is!” Then a few days later she confirmed our address and then a day later said she sent our gift in the mail.
Nothing received. We didn’t say anything figuring she would follow up if we didn’t thank her for it. Looking back, should we have said something?
She’s had some unscrupulous behavior since then so I’m wondering if that’s just how some people are? But I can’t wrap my head around doing that. Why lie? She and her husband are loaded too lol so it’s not about affording a gift (and again why lie?).
|
2025-06-19T14:57:30
|
1lfcwr0
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
How to make things flow better with a new “friend”
|
Ive hung out with a guy who I’m interested twice now, and each time it’s almost impossible to find flowing conversation. Obviously it’s still new, but I feel like both of us just aren’t very good conversationalists. Any tips on how to make us both more comfortable/easy to talk to?
|
2025-06-19T07:19:34
|
1lf4ktb
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Has anyone here improved extreme social anxiety? How did you do it?
|
I know the key is graduated exposure therapy or like using a fear hierarchy but it's just so hard for me to implement it in my own life since I'm starting at such a low point. Anxiety consumes me in the most basic social situations like I can barely stand to join a vc, every second is awkward torture. I even get anxiety just texting or being in a situation where I'm taking up someone else's time and attention and it gives me so much stress so idk, I'm just wondering where all of you started when it feels like climbing my way out of this is impossible. How did any of you even psych yourself up enough to push through the anxiety and fear? To me the anxiety feels so crushing and insurmountable, even when I take seemingly small steps. I'm just looking forward to see what you all have to say.
**All posts must directly relate to learning one or more SPECIFIC SOCIAL SKILLS**
The specific skill I want as a goal is the ability to hold a conversation with someone I'm just meeting, which honestly sounds simple but every time I try the anxiety distracts me too much to focus and I have no idea what to say or how to relate.
|
2025-06-19T10:31:21
|
1lf7giq
| 0 | 1 |
socialskills
|
Reviving a dead dm w a friend
|
Ok chat so like I just messaged my friend who I haven’t messaged in like, 2 months yesterday and we talked a little bit. I want to revive our chat but I keep procrastinating because I feel kind of bad for disrupting them. When they’re online I worry they’re already talking to someone or don’t wanna talk to me, and when they’re offline, I worry I’m texting them at a bad time. How do I like, do this? What do I like, say??? Please help me I’m so desperate 😭
|
2025-06-19T05:13:46
|
1lf2l5j
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
How to interact with people you have nothing in common with? Work Related
|
I've just got back from a work trip (32F) which I'm so happy I was invited too.
Generally I can speak to most people but of 26 people I was the only woman and only person under 45.
I tried at first but shut off as had nothing I could add to the conversation. Cars/golf etc. Which definitely isn't me.
Any advice on how you would break the ice and get more involved?
|
2025-06-18T22:39:37
|
1leutwl
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
People are not interested in befriending me
|
I’m a 22 year old female and I haven’t had any friends in almost 5 years. I’ve tried everything I can think of, joining clubs when I was in school, using Bumble BFF, and getting involved in different hobby groups, but it always ends up the same way. People either don’t reciprocate interest in being friends, leave me out of things, or ghost me entirely.
I noticed that people are never interested in me, especially within groups settings, and that I always get left out or ignored in conversations. No one ever makes any efforts to befriend me and people only talk to me when they want something out of me. People don’t see any value in interacting with me or including me and always treat talking to me with boredom or irritation as if it’s some sort of chore.
I always do all the reaching out and never get invited to anything or asked to hangout. When I try to ask people to hangout, I either get ghosted or flaked on, or told straight up that they won’t.
I spend every weekend alone doing my own thing and it bothers me a lot that other people my age can go out and hang out with their friends whereas I have to stay home by myself.
I’m not sure what to do or where else to look to make friends.
|
2025-06-18T06:12:09
|
1le9tkv
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Was it a bad idea to try and reach out to a former friend?
|
This person was a friend who moved and we kept in contact every now and then and I considered them a friend. I noticed one time they weren't responding or took a while and we chatted and they said its nothing personal and they just have tons going on and hard to keep up with friends that are there. I accepted but noticed I was always reaching out and when we chatted months later I brought it up and they said they'd be more recipricol. I told them that I felt sorta excluded cuz one time I wasn't able to hang with them but they did with others and they told me being friends isn't their main focus. I then sent this:
*"Hey , I appreciate that you said that you will work on reciprocating that a bit more. I understand you've got a lot going on these days and have been busy with other friends and what not. I don't want you to feel like I'm upset you're hanging out with other friends, that's not the case at all. I'll admit that I felt a little left out seeing that other friends have been able to visit you while we haven't been able to coordinate anything but I'm sure we will be able sort something out that works for both of us at some point. I don't want you to think that I expect to be your main focus or that we need to be in constant contact, I know that's not realistic haha, it's just nice to hear from you from time to time to check in. Hope that makes sense and we're on the same page"*
(well it came from reddit tbh)
and they sent this
*"I really appreciate you saying all of that. I do feel like we are on different pages as to what we can expect out of each other in our relationship. I like catching up with you and Im happy to chat from time to time but I don’t think we should expect anything from each other other than that. I hope you can understand where I’m coming from!"*
After I got confused and asked our friendship nature and they told me they were done with the convo. I asked to call them and they told me they didn't want to chat and we should drop it. They then added we're cool but don't say this to them again. I then apologized after that
and haven't chatted to them since 2022 and I assume or assumed they don't want to be friends. However when I posted on my insta today about my siblings bday, they liked my post. So maybe reading too into but to me maybe it shows they don't have a negative view or thought.
Sent a message over a week ago just saying *hey how have they been and its been a while* but no reply and doesn't seem they've even seen it.
So was it wrong to try?
|
2025-06-19T01:31:05
|
1leyfgi
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
What do you say to encourage, and show support to others? What do you focus on?
|
When my friends tell me their personal struggles, I’m not sure how to get the flow going. Do i ask questions here? Should i relate them using my own story(how?), does this person actually want support?
For example, my friends got laid off last week. I felt incredibly sad for them, they were sad too.
So I would normally say like “Dam. I’m sorry that happened. You hungry? Wanna grab some food?”
And then they’ll tell a lot more again this time in details.
What can I say instead? Dam doesnt sound good. Saying I’m sorry that happened sounds so cookie cutter.
And around this point idk what to say because I just feel bad and I wish I could do something for them. And I often can’t. What if going out for drink and chat isn’t their thing? Or going out for the sake of venting.
For vents I can listen out. But for conversations calling for support, I try too hard trying to look for the words that make them feel good.
What do I focus on when I listen to conversations? I feel stuff but I don’t know how to word them. How do I show support? How do I respond? I don’t want to sound judging, I want to be able to talk and help.
|
2025-06-19T07:08:27
|
1lf4end
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
I feel like I don't have enough "preloaded" sentences or phrases.
|
When observing other people having a conversation, I notice that they use phrases, whole sentences, that feel preloaded, as responses or questions. Conversely, when I try to speak, I can't figure out what to say in the moment. I don't have a good toolset for engaging in a conversation with people with these memorized phrases.
Now as for why I never learned them, for my whole life up until about 6 months ago, I tried really hard to not copy other people's mannerisms or words. It felt cringe saying common idioms and aphorisms. I'm not sure exactly what switched in my brain. Maybe it's just the fact that I'm seeking anything to help catch up in my social skills.
|
2025-06-18T12:27:34
|
1lefsi0
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
When someone seems annoyed…
|
I feel really dumb asking this but this is one aspect of interacting with people that I really don’t understand. It might be because whenever I was upset as a kid I was pretty much ignored and I still haven’t really learned how to express negative emotions or how to respond to them.
So my question is : If someone seems annoyed, am I supposed to ask them what is wrong or should they let me know if I am annoying them?
My coworker today seemed annoyed- I couldn’t tell if it was something I did or if it was something else but she kept saying some slightly snippy comments. I usually just give people their space and let them work out their negative feelings on their own unless they tell me something directly.
|
2025-06-19T05:35:20
|
1lf2xy7
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
I created a Google Form to see which of my friends are actually compatible with me. Is that weird or smart?
|
I recently started thinking more seriously about the kind of people I want around me. I’m into personal growth, discipline, freedom, and long-term goals, and I’ve realized that not everyone around me shares those values.
So… I made a Google Form.
Yep, a questionnaire. With real questions about mindset, discipline, ambition, money, freedom, values, etc. The idea wasn’t to interrogate or control anyone, but simply to observe: who actually resonates with the direction I’m heading in, and who doesn’t?
I sent it to a few friends (some new, some old), and the reactions were interesting. Some loved the idea and answered everything with honesty. Others got offended or weirded out, saying it was “creepy", especially those I barely knew.
Now I’m reflecting: was this too much? Or is it actually a solid way to filter who truly fits in my life?
I’d love to hear what others think. Has anyone ever tried something similar : consciously screening your social circle? Is that narcissistic, self-aware, or just practical?
|
2025-06-19T14:57:08
|
1lfcwg2
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
I never like to fake it , I hate it
|
You know in debating , or moot court people shake hands or the rivals try to sweet talk especially if they are more experienced. I by nature dont like it. And its not ego , its just that I know that you are not doing it in good faith , you don't respect me , you only care about winning and I can sense that . There is nothing wrong in it that you want to win against me, but I can't tolerate you showing that fake friendliness or sportsmanship and I hate reciprocating , I tried to convince myself but its just so fake that I hate that thing to the core.
As regards to sportmanship , let me tell you I will be the one to congratulate you if you win against me.
I dont know how to bring myself to faking it like others do.
|
2025-06-19T04:55:35
|
1lf2a6f
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Trying to get better at speaking to people. I’m not good at it.
|
My job puts me in front of strangers a lot. Sometimes it’s two people, sometimes it’s fifteen. I cook for them and then they ask questions or try to talk. I’m okay one on one but once it’s more than a few folks or the energy shifts, I lose track.
I talk too fast. Or I forget what I was saying halfway through. Sometimes I talk too little and then it gets quiet and weird. I don’t mind quiet they usually do.
I don’t want to become someone I’m not. Just want to be able to say what I need to say without freezing up or drifting off. If you’ve had to practice this talking clearly, holding space, being comfortable being looked at . I’d take any advice. Exercises, books, habits anytging
|
2025-06-18T22:25:35
|
1leuih7
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
So... people don't wanna be treated like they treat others?
|
I just had this realization but I'm still very confused. I'd always try to mirror the way someone treats me because that's what I thought it was right? But is not? How can I balance when someone is rude?
|
2025-06-18T13:05:57
|
1leglxl
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Feeling anxious to approach anyone in my uni
|
Heyy guys so basically I have been on the loner side typically all my uni life up till now , currently im done with my sophomore year and on the summer break rn, for the record I’m 21M and have had only one relationship, the real issue is that I have social anxiety and I hate it, im scared of approaching girls and one thing I find really weird is that on text I can pretty much talk to anyone but when it comes to real time I’m a completely different person, Ui struggle alot while having a conversation I just can’t handle it!, I have almost asked all of my friends about it, thinking maybe they could help me out but, everyone had pretty much the same answer, which is that I should just start talking to people which is basically the ISSUE HERE, I CANT, what should I do chat?? To try to make things better for me, and make my college life easier. I feellike my brain stops responding and I just feel lagged. Please help a brother out, TIA
|
2025-06-19T01:34:04
|
1leyhis
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
charisma isn't magic. 5 things i started doing that actually work
|
**charisma it's a skill,** you're not born with it and these 5 simple changes that can help boost your charisma
1. speak with energy, **not** volume. (you don't need be loud, just don't sound dry. take like you care about what you're saying. people fell it)
2. use people's names ( saying "hey (name)" instead of just "hey" makes it feel more personal. people like that)
3. make eye contact and small smile ( don't stare like a creep, look at them and smile a bit. it makes you seem friendly and confident)
4. match their vibe ( if they're chill, be chill)
5. say dumb stuff with confidence ( drop a random funny. people like weird energy if you own it
|
2025-06-17T09:02:20
|
1ldiawa
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Which adult roles feel more “authoritative” vs. “advisory” in professional settings?
|
I’m curious how people view the *role* that different adults in professional settings often take on — especially from the lens of being under their supervision or instruction.
Some adults feel more "authoritative" — the type who expect obedience, maintain strict boundaries, and see their job as enforcing expectations. Others lean more "advisory" — collaborative, guiding, and more open to input or mutual problem-solving.
Here’s a list I put together. Curious where you’d place each role based on your experience (obviously some individuals can go either way):
* **Teachers (K-12)**
* **College Professors**
* **School Principals**
* **Law Enforcement Officers**
* **Case Managers**
* **Therapists/Counselors**
* **Work Managers (mid-level)**
* **Work Supervisors (floor-level, shift leads, etc.)**
* **HR Personnel**
* **Workout Instructors / Personal Trainers**
* **Job Coaches / Vocational Trainers**
* **Pre-ETS Instructors (for youth with disabilities)**
* **Residential Staff / Group Home Managers**
* **Religious Leaders (Pastors, Imams, etc.)**
* **Social Workers**
* **Support Coordinators**
* **Doctors / Specialists**
* **Nurses**
What do you think? Who tends to take a more top-down "authority" stance, and who functions more like an "advisor" or collaborator?
Would love to hear your take based on your own experiences
|
2025-06-19T00:53:17
|
1lexo6a
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Confused (trying to make friends as an adult is hard)
|
So I've been trying to make friends with someone I met and I thought it was going well, they were pretty responsive for a while then it dropped off and then picked back up, pretty good back and forth conversation and then out of nowhere they sent a message, deleted it, and then responded with something really dry that really left no room to keep the conversation going... I asked if they were ok they just said yeah and that was that
I don't really know if I should bother to keep trying or just back off and let myself get ghosted??
I have no idea what happened and it seems rude to ask about the deleted message and I don't want to be clingy or pushy. I'm just trying to make friends man why as an adult does it feel like people will say they wanna be friends but then there's little to no follow through or effort 😭
|
2025-06-18T17:51:57
|
1lenq9o
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Trying to figure out how to not be clingy in my friendship, but also not be avoidant
|
So I've made it to a point where I'm actually socializing well with people and making a few friends. The problem is, I haven't had a real true friend in a little bit, and now that I have at least one, its bringing out some problems in me.
So i'm sure that a lot of this probably has to do with me having an anxious attachment style, that much I've narrowed down. But what I cant figure out is what is considered normal or not. I'm naturally very warm with people and bubbly, but in the past sometimes it made me feel clingy for being that way. So now I'm left sometimes wondering if the choices make in relationships are too anxious or too avoidant. I wish it felt natural, it just feels exhausting trying to figure it out all the time. Either I'm afraid what I do is too much, or I question myself on my true intentions behind it (am I doing it because I'm afraid they'll leave?). And usually the more "anxious" option is what feels most natural to me. Or, on the flip side, I think I'm controlling myself well, but its occurring to me lately that maybe I'm becoming too avoidant with my actions.
So an example is right now I have a friend thats dealing with someone at home who's recovering from surgery. My instinct is to talk to her. At least reach out one more time to see how shes doing (I did already once last week and she responded pretty quickly and gave me an update). But at the same time, I'm worried that I'm doing too much. Especially since she hasn't reached out first yet. And we usually don't text outside of work anyways. My mom is saying that she probably would love to hear from me, but I'm stuck wondering what to do.
I'm too afraid of bothering people, but I crave connection too. And I never know whether an action I want to take is too much, or too little.
|
2025-06-18T19:35:49
|
1leqduy
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Why do people keep leaving me?
|
I have been trying to find friends online for ages and I have mostly failed. I have found people and we have talked, some clicked, some didn't but all but one so far has either stopped responding, blocked me or deleted their account (we had only talked through Reddit up to then - the latest on e I even saved their Spotify playlist to listen to later but saw their account deleted) the next day. I don't know what I am doing. Almost all the people I would love to be friends with and clicked well with just keep leaving me and I don't know what to do.
It makes me feel so sad and like I am doing something wrong. Help. I am lost. Advice needed.
|
2025-06-18T09:20:26
|
1lecls4
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
How can I talk more to someone without coming across as too interested in talking more with them.
|
So I'm friends with someone i met at a festival, when we are in person we chat non stop but online we hardly talk at all. I want to know more about them as we know some things about each other that other friends may not know, but there are more things i want to discuss with them and talk about. We are both bad at responding but I don't want to blow up their phone and seem too interested in talking to them as I don't want to bother them. They live really far away from where I live so it's hard to meet up in person.
Is there a way to chat more without seeming needy? And how can I learn to start a conversation out of the blue without it being unusual?
|
2025-06-18T15:31:53
|
1lek4o2
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
big european city going out culture - how are my acquaintances always around and out at bars and i feel like i have to specifically get invited by a close friend to know where everyone is (rarely happens)
|
i live in a big city and i know a lot of people but not close enough to always make plans with them; i just see them around when i go to the bars with a close friend - it seems like these people are always there - do they ask someone where they are that day, do they just show up (how do they know which bar?), or do they get invited every time. the last one seems unlikely because not everyone is close with everyone and it truly baffles me if they really do get invited when they’re not close, because i NEVER get asked to join by people im not close with, even though we really vibe and have fun when we do see each other. the first one seems possible, but asking someone where they are going that night seems really strange if you’re not close with them. it seems kinda desperate and clingy. i also don’t feel comfortable just showing up in case there are people i REALLY am not close with and will just stand there awkwardly or even no one i know because they’re at a different bar i wouldn’t know of. especially as a girl who likes to dress up and get fully ready and not have it pay off.
how do people seem to have an active social life when no one actually seems to invite anyone out? im guessing they start texting everyone they know “what’s going on tonight”. i hate doing that though!!
|
2025-06-18T11:44:11
|
1leey5x
| 1 | 0 |
socialskills
|
How do you break out of the "How are you" phase in conversations online?
|
Many times in new conversations online it seems to be common for the beginning go something like this:
>**\[A\]**: Hey, how are you?
>**\[B\]**: I'm fine, \[sometimes mention current activity\]. You?
>**\[A\]**: I'm doing good.
It seems to be common that when I tell what I'm doing to give something to talk about, the other person doesn't take the "bait". If I ask how they are doing, they don't offer anything that I could make further conversation. This is very confusing that sometimes someone contacts me, but don't seem to be interested in keeping the conversation going. How do I get past this part into a proper conversations?
|
2025-06-18T22:45:57
|
1leuz1a
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
How do I be one person?
|
Long story short I just got into making youtube and lots of my viewers like playing and i made friends with a lot of them. I also like playing with my close irl friends and family but i always have to make an exuse to one person or the other. I need to learn how to say no or something because I feel like my mental space is cloudy and im really overwhelmed. I dont want to make any of them sad but there is just to much going on.
|
2025-06-18T17:36:47
|
1lenc7y
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
People on discord will start talking to me and suddenly stop answering
|
you could say that something just happened that meant that they had no time to say why they are leaving, but sometimes i will be in a private voice chat and suddenly the person will stop answering and never answer again trough multiple days, i think they might be using the ignore function, i just wanted to know why, because they basically never say what they find wrong with me, they just stop answering and that's it. At this point if they said the most abhorrent things ever to me before they stopped answering i would still be happier, because i still know the reason.
|
2025-06-18T21:11:18
|
1lesqvx
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
should i ask to join a hangout if im kind of the ‘floater friend’?
|
so a group of classmates have been making plans to go to an event in my town this weekend and they didnt invite me, but i kind of want to go with them( mostly cuz ive no on else to go with). Its my fault because in the past ive often declined when they asked me to join out of social anxiety but i want to change. But i cant even really consider myself as part of the friend group as i often distance myself, and i only really like one person from the group but i dont even feel that close with her. Which is again interely my fault as i shyed away from a genuine connection bc social anxiety, even tho she showed interest in being friends with me. I have hung out with them a few times mostly at class trips and honestly i never really enjoyed their company, i dont relate to a lot of the things that they talk about, and o feel like nobody even knows anything about me in this group exept that one person (again my fault). Also its the last days of school rn i was too afraod to join the conversation when they were making these plans, so it would feel a lil awkward to ask to join honestly. and anyway i feel like i should have shown more interest in these people at school, so that we would be closer and have something common to talk about (exept school work and grades cuz thats what i usually talk about when i even talk)(thely probably think im really boring)
also i dont want to be a burden, cus i know that if i ask that person shes gonna say yes (shes really kind) but im not sure the others would like me being there.
yes i know im overthinking
(sorry for my english im not a native speaker)
|
2025-06-18T20:58:28
|
1lesfcm
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
I feel like my friends take me for granted. How do I stop being treated like I don't matter?
|
Lately, I’ve been feeling really sidelined by my friends. There have been several times when I call them and they just say, “I’ll call you back,” and hang up before I can even finish what I’m saying. Sometimes, they don’t even pick up at all.
It’s making me wonder if I am that unimportant to them? I get that people are busy, but when it keeps happening, it starts to feel like I'm just an afterthought.
I try to be there for them, listen, care, and show up when they need someone but it doesn’t feel like that energy is being returned. I go over the way to help in all kind of matters but I don't think I am respected. I don’t want to overreact, but I also don’t want to keep tolerating disrespect or being taken for granted.
Has anyone else felt this way before? How do you get people to respect your presence and value your time and emotions? I don’t want to beg for attention, but I also don’t want to keep feeling invisible in friendships.
Any advice on how do get respected and not taken for granted, not just by friends but even classmates or accomplices?
|
2025-06-18T06:02:02
|
1le9nw9
| 0 | 1 |
socialskills
|
How do I stop missing people who were just passing through my life?
|
Iknow people come and go, especially online friends, but sometimes it still hurts when they fade away. I try not to take it personally, but I can’t help wondering if I did something wrong or if I just wasn’t enough to keep them around.
How do you make peace with the idea that not everyone stays? I don’t want to feel so stuck on goodbyes. Any advice would mean a lot.
|
2025-06-18T01:30:56
|
1le4r6g
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
How many time it lasts?
|
Okay so today this morning . I was physically assaulted by 2 men really agressive in the train and it give me a real stress after .I don't want to talk,to smiley,to laugh and i'm very mad at people even if i know they didn't do anything. I want to hide me because i m in deep paranoia and think all people are mean. I' m in a high school internship and i must take the train morning and evening for 2 weeks so if one know when this hell last because i love to live . I'm common sociable but now because of that i look like an associal and dépressive guy . I make friends but i don't know if i talk to them because i'm so angry and i have the fear of being rejected just because of these two shitty violent guys i met
|
2025-06-18T09:48:33
|
1led0re
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
What social habit is making the difference at work?
|
I always try to be a better person and try to « shine ». Not doing it for attention or reputation but because trying to contribute to the happiness of people is my way of moving towards my flourishment.
What social habit do you have at work that makes a difference ?
|
2025-06-17T20:12:40
|
1ldxk77
| 0 | 1 |
socialskills
|
Why Is Practicing Storytelling So Hard? Looking for Real Tips
|
Hi everyone,
I’ve noticed that as I’ve worked on my storytelling skills, people seem to listen more, remember me, and care about what I’m saying. But I’ve hit a bit of a ceiling—I’m not sure how to keep improving.
For those of you who’ve tried to get better at storytelling:
1. What challenges have you faced?
2. How do you practice, if at all?
3. Have you found anything that actually helps you improve?
4. What makes practicing storytelling difficult or boring for you?
And for people who seem naturally good at it—what do you do differently? Any habits or tricks you use to keep your audience engaged?
Would love to hear your stories and tips!
|
2025-06-18T10:29:05
|
1lednj9
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
How to keep conversation going without talking about yourself
|
Im autistic and still figuring this shit out
I want to talk about myself less and be less self-centered, but my usual instinct when conversating it to share personal stories that relate to the topic. How else do people jpin in conversation without making the conversation about themselves?
|
2025-06-17T18:49:05
|
1ldve4a
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Give me some assignments
|
I'm going to a few music festivals this summer. I think those would be great places to up my social skills, since most people are in a good mood and open to meet new people.
But where to start? How to open a conversation without it being weird and what to talk about besides the band that's playing? Give me some suggestions and 'assignments' that I can try out.
|
2025-06-18T11:53:39
|
1lef4ef
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
My gut feeling is always wrong and it affects my decision making
|
People keep saying to trust my gut feeling,but mine is always wrong like when i apply to a new job and get hired i have this gut feeling that its going to suck but i end up like it or when i go to a new night club with my friend i get this gut feeling that something bad is going to happen but i have an awesome time,how do i stop this it affects my decision making
|
2025-06-18T09:25:23
|
1lecod1
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Does anyone hate being approached ?
|
idk if its just me but hate when that happens people will say the randomness things or start small talk when obviously i don't care for it doesn't help that i look somewhat decent anyone like this ?
|
2025-06-17T20:37:36
|
1ldy6kz
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Where Do I Go to Meet People?
|
Learning about skills is one thing but putting them to practice seems impossible. Where are people who want to socialize?
Also, how do I feel better after a conversation goes badly? I cringe at myself for weeks afterward.
|
2025-06-18T08:20:23
|
1lebqia
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Anybody else have a way over expressive face?
|
It is probably somewhat dictated by your facial features. I’ve got naturally intense dark eyes and very thick/dark eyebrows, so any movement is more noticeable. However if I catch a reflection of myself in a natural conversation I look absolutely unhinged. Almost like Jim Carrey or Mr Bean or maybe even a tweaker. I know that people don’t appreciate folks who give near zero energy in social interactions but I’m almost the other extreme, it’s really hard to control. There’s just a level of intensity in all of my expression that I think people find off putting or tiring, maybe even creepy or a bit dumb. The wide crazy eyes in particular just come out in full force and it takes ages for me to notice it. Is there actually a way of being less intense without trying to act like you’re a bit strung out on purpose?
|
2025-06-17T16:03:23
|
1ldr1cs
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
Successful on Paper, But I've Never Felt More Alone. How Do You Build a Life from Zero?
|
Hey Reddit, I'm using a throwaway account because this is incredibly hard to talk about.
I'm a 26-year-old engineer. From the outside, my life probably looks like a success story. I did well in school, got awards, and have a "good job" at a well-known tech company. But the reality is, despite trying my best, I'm just barely scraping by. I live paycheck to paycheck, partly because I send a chunk of my salary home to my parents every month. I live in a room so small I literally have to sleep diagonally just to fit.
That feeling of being trapped financially and physically is the backdrop to the real issue: my personal life is a wasteland, and the loneliness is becoming unbearable. I feel like I'm fighting a battle on every front that nobody can see.
The truth is, I've felt unwanted my whole life. I grew up in a home where love felt conditional, and I never had that foundation of feeling truly cared for. I was more of an emotional orphan than a son. That feeling has followed me everywhere. I've had intense friendships that I poured my heart into, only to have those people disappear or abandon me when I needed them most.
This pattern recently culminated in the most painful way. I poured years of trust into a very close connection, believing I had finally found one person who would be a stable rock in my life. But that connection ended abruptly and painfully, in a way that made me feel fundamentally misled. The experience didn't just hurt; it felt like it confirmed my deepest fear: that no matter how hard I try, I'm not good enough to be chosen, even as a close friend.
Now, I'm just... stuck. I live alone. I work hard. And then the silence at the end of the day is deafening. My coping mechanisms aren't healthy. The anxiety is constant, and I've had panic attacks that feel like my body is shutting down. I spend my weekends just trying to distract myself from the crushing weight of it all. I journal, I try to work out, but I'm just fighting myself in an empty room.
I'm done fighting alone.
My question is for anyone who has climbed out of a similar hole. When you're carrying this much baggage, how do you even begin? How do you meet people when you're terrified of being rejected again? How do you build self-worth when you've never really been shown it?
I'm looking for the actual first steps. What do you do on a Tuesday night when the loneliness hits? What communities are genuinely welcoming? **How do you learn to be a friend when you've never really had a blueprint for what a healthy connection looks like?**
Thanks for reading this wall of text. Any advice would mean the world.
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2025-06-17T18:30:24
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1lduwwi
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
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how do i change my vibe to be more friendly and approachable
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i entered college with my classmates from elementary to junior high school. they transferred out together in senior high and are best friends. when they found out that i was taking the same college course as them, they invited me to enroll with them and stay with them. three months in, i was miserable with them. they talked mostly only to each other even when i’m just right there, they often don’t update me on school events and assignments, and even ditched me a few times. after some reflecting, i realized that perhaps i complained about our college course too much and that annoyed them (though they are also big complainers). so i decided to be more positive—not taking their leaving me out to heart, smiling more, complaining less. but still the same. in fact, when this other friend group sort of merged with ours, i still felt constantly left out. i noticed that the other girls would mostly just talk to them, and when i try to join in, i get talked over. at this point, i’m not complaining much to them anymore.
when second sem came, i joined another friend group. we got along better and they included me more. since my schedule exactly aligned with only one of theirs, i spent the whole school day with that person only. determined to not repeat my mistakes, i tried to project more positivity with this friend. i’d offer to help her, offer to drive her around campus (it’s a rly long walk to the exit), offer to help get us both requirements when i’m already at the mall so she doesn’t have to worry about it, but she always treated me with indifference. yeah, she’d wait for me and have convos with me, but it never became a genuine friendship. now i’m in my third semester, and she doesn’t even reach out to me. earlier, i saw her sitting alone so i talked to her for a bit, and she doesn’t rly reciprocate the energy.
when i look around and see all the friend groups around me (and i mean EVERYONE ELSE is in friend groups), i feel so isolated. it’s not that i’m mean or snobbish. when ppl approach me and make small talk, i do my best to reciprocate genuinely. it’s just that i can’t find even one genuine friend. our batch is rly small, so it’s quite hard to branch out when everyone else looks so tight-knit already.
i have friends from high school and maintain a good relationship with my hs batchmates. but i cant seem to blend in in college..
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2025-06-18T09:18:19
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1leckm5
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
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I’m good at talking to people, but not so good T making friends
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I’m pretty confident at approaching someone if I need something and can talk to them with no issues and make jokes and all that
But when it comes to actually getting close to people I kinda suck. I feel utterly clueless on how to approach someone wanting nothing other than to make a friend, and my brain fogs during the convo. And it’s even worse after that first meeting because I don’t know what to say from that point onwards a lot of the time
I think I sorta unconsciously make myself unapproachable to people or keep my distance
Any tips on how to get closer to people?
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2025-06-18T12:58:54
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1legg9l
| 0 | 0 |
socialskills
|
How do people make friends?
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Genuine question. I am a college students with 0 friends in my home town. A lot of acquaintances, but 0 friends. Every day I'm surrounded by people my age hanging out and having fun but I only get to observe. My acquaintances are asocial and only want to text and discord, never hang out face to face.
I don't know how to reach out to people. I never get invited so I assume they don't want to see me. I used to initiate a lot only to get rejected every time. I got rid of online friends but my trauma stayed with me and now I cannot ask people to see them without feeling like a burden. Should I even bother to try to reach out to people who never reach out to me first? I know I'm providing them too with my time and my company but they never asked for it.
I get told it's ok to approach random strangers and chat them up but I am so ashamed especially on parties and similar occasions where everyone is with their friend groups but I'm the lonely guy who had noone to go with. And even when I do talk to strangers they just become familiar faces. But I never make friends with them.
I need some constructive advice. I feel like my loneliness will end me.
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2025-06-17T15:47:13
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1ldqlxv
| 0 | 0 |
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